#he's a total wildcard so why not go all in

[pharawee]

please tell me your kim headcanons i'm dying to know

Hi anon! 💜

They're just theories, really. It's fun to have an original character who doesn't appear in the novel but might or might not be based on some of the side characters.

Kim might be the series' version of Six, Babe's rival (and old flame? But Kim's definitely nothing of the sort since he and Babe didn't know each other prior to him driving for Red Racing). Six is an alpha and his special abilities help save the day later on (SPOILERS: his powers are mass hallucinations and so strong that he's not allowed to use them - yes there's a special omegaverse police apparently 🤡). But idk, if Kim had these kinds of powers he'd have used them by now to escape his captors, right?

Or maybe he hasn't used them because he and Kenta are plotting. I know, Kenta has chemistry with everyone but the actors promote together so KentaKim will be a thing, right? (Right? 🥺). It's canon that Kenta isn't as loyal as we think but he can't openly oppose Tony so he's scheming behind the scenes. And who better to scheme with than Kim? What if Kim is precisely where he needs to be in order to help bring down Tony's empire? That would explain why he's not keen at all to leave.

That being said, I just love how Kim is actually major main character material. Imagine watching the series entirely from his perspective - it would not only make sense but be insanely good too. Kim is basically the protagonist of the racing BL they baited us with. I was actually so disappointed these past few eps that he didn't have more scenes. I'd have loved to see him investige Tony more, or see his hotel room fight (no way the blood was all his). Hell, I'd read write read fic!

But yeah, then there's also my (now not so) secret headcanon that Kim is an omega because it would be amazing to see an omega kick arse and save the day. But mostly I think it would tick off Winner so bad if he lost against an omega (because he's probably that pathetic and cringe). Pit Babe is already such an unconventional omegaverse story (or idk it's my first omegaverse story lmao) so what's one more trope subverted? 🙏

[gisele0127]

Being Kunigami’s girlfriend after the wildcard :(

Warnings: Spoilers!, angst to fluff, grammar mistakes, not proof read, kind of rushed.

2 posts in one day😉☺️

You miss your boy. You miss how rensuke would look at you. You miss all the nicknames he’d call you. You miss how affectionate he used to be. You miss all the the dates he would take you on. You just miss your old boy.

Rensuke misses you too. He hates himself for what he has become. He’s afraid.

Rensuke has gotten buffer, his hair longer and messier. But most importantly his face. He looks so sad, so defeated. His eyes starting to have bags his whole demeanor has changed.

Rensuke remembers when he lost and got kicked out of blue lock. He hates himself. He hates how he let you down, how he let his sisters down, and how he let himself down. He doesn’t know how to face you when he goes back home. He knows you’ll be sad, he knows that he will cry in your arms when he finally sees you. But then the wild card happened. He thought he didn’t have to face you just yet. Maybe he can redeem himself one last time.

You don’t know what happened exactly during the wildcard. But when blue lock got their 2 weeks off so did Rensuke. You didn’t even know he was back until his little sister texted you. “Hey y/n, can you come over please Rensuke is acting super weird” your heart dropped. Why didn’t he text you the second he got out? You got so anxious thinking about it, you were nervous the whole walk to his house. You knocked on the door and Mrs. Kunigami opened it. “Oh y/n I missed you so much. Ren has been acting super weird and looks so…different. Do you know what’s going on?” Your heart drops again. “Uh no I’m sorry. I didn’t even know he was back until you guys texted me”

The walk to his room was nerve wracking. Why were you so nervous? You’re finally seeing your boyfriend after months. You walk in and you’re surprised to see your boyfriend who takes care of his appearance look like total shit. He didn’t notice you come in until you whispered “Ren baby, are you okay?” He looks startled to see you in his room. “What are you doing here I didn’t tell you to come over? What do you want?” You’re surprised by his reaction, because you expected your boyfriend to spring on to you and kiss you. You’ve been waiting for this moment for weeks and this is how it turns out? You turn visibly upset.

“What the fuck Ren? This is how you greet me? What’s wrong with you? I came because my own boyfriend is back and I haven’t seen him In months. I thought you’d be happy to see me. I missed you so much.” Your eyes start to turn glossy, you’re frustrated. He looks at you then scoffs. “Get out. I don’t want to see you right now” Now you’re extra pissed, why does he have an attitude? Ren never has an attitude he’s always so patient. Your anger gets to you and now you’re the one yelling “are you seriously kicking me out?! I want to spend time with you before you have to go back why are you acting so different. Why do you look so different?! You look like total shit and you’re acting like a total fucking douche!” Okay maybe you’re acting a little over dramatic but this better knock some sense into him.

“Get the fuck out. I don’t wanna see you right now, not tomorrow, not ever again. Don’t talk to me again. We’re over.”

Woah. Did he just break up with you? This is the last thing you expected. You turn pale your heart is beating fast. “Wait Ren! No you can’t mean that. Hey just talk to me babe! I’m your girlfriend that’s what you’re supposed to do!” He looks at you and with such disgust he says “ex girlfriend”. That’s when you walk out, into the living room where his family is sitting on the couch. Yup they definitely heard your argument. You can’t see the looks on their faces because you’re tearing up but you walk out.

You get back home, mascara ruined and your dad asks you, “where’ve you been?” You don’t answer him. You don’t want to because what are you supposed to say? You just got broken up with? Hell no it’s embarrassing enough that his family heard yalls argument. You go into your room and scream and cry. The last thing you expected just happened to you.

3 days pass by. Not a single text from Kunigami. To be quite honest, now you’re the one looking like shit. You haven’t gone to school, you can’t show your face anywhere. Your dad is worried but he’s on a work trip right now so he can’t comfort you. “Ask Kunigami to come over, he can always cheer you up.” Right. You still haven’t told your dad.

You hear a knock on the door. You don’t bother getting it, it’s probably just a package arriving. Another knock, harder and faster. By this time you’re annoyed. You go to the door yelling “coming!!” You swing the door open ready to tell someone off but right in front of the entrance to you house is your newly ex boyfriend. Kunigami Rensuke.

You’re flustered, not expecting him. Even more flustered because of what you’re wearing. Spandex and Kunigami’s old shirt. “Uh hey, is there something I can help you with?” You ask awkwardly. “I need to get all my stuff back” he says with no emotion. “Oh sure come in, uh lemme go grab some of your stuff from my room” Kunigami waits patiently on the couch, truth be told you had none of his stuff packed. You wanted to keep all of it.

After about 10 minutes you’re about to finish getting all of his stuff ( he had a lot, it was practically his second home ). Just as you stand up you feel big muscular arms wrap around your waist. You’re startled and mad. Who does he think he is? “Kunigami let me fucking go” you say with so much venom. “What happened to Ren?” He asks. “I’m not going to call you that anymore, we’re not dating remember?” At that he perks up, and lets you go. This time y’all are both facing eachother you get a good look at him and see his puffy eyes. Has he been crying?

You send him off his way and after 5 minutes since he’s been gone you hear another knock on the door. Ugh what does he want? You open the door and before you could say something he comes running in hugging you. “I miss you so much I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry baby. I’m so sorry. Please just let me explain myself please.” You know you should’ve said no, but you can’t this is the man you love. The man you want to spend the rest of your life with.

You let him in. You both are sitting on the couch awkwardly. “Uh what did you have to say” Kunigami stands up and sits closer to you, looking into your eyes. “I’m sorry about how I’ve been acting. I’m so sorry. You know I love you right? I’ve loved you ever since I laid eyes on you. I love everything about you. I messed up. I should’ve told you what’s been going on, I should’ve told you everything from the start. Baby, I lost. I got kicked out of blue lock. I’m sorry. I let you down. But they gave me another chance, I could redeem myself. I took it obviously, my dream couldn’t just end there. But baby it was so hard. So fucking hard. I had to train till my body gave out. They wouldn’t let me talk to anyone. I was so lonely and isolated. I struggled for others people entertainment. I’m sorry. There’s so much more I wish I could tell you but that’s not the point. I can’t use that as an excuse for how I treated you. I was a shitty boyfriend. I’m sorry. I regret everything that I said. Every single thing. I was just ashamed of myself. Embarrassed. Baby I should’ve never broken up with you. I’m so scared right now. I just broke up with the girl I want to marry, the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with, the girl who I love most. I’m sorry. Please just take me back.”

He looks back at you because you haven’t said anything. You’re crying. Shit did he say the wrong thing? “Babe?” “Fuck you ren” you stand up and go to your room. So this is it? Kunigami will never forgive himself. Just as he’s about to open the front door, you come running and you jump on his back.

“HEY where are you going??!!” Kunigami looks back, and sees you carrying tissues. Oh. You left to get tissues. He didn’t notice he was crying until you force his face down kissing his tears away. You lean your forehead into his. “We will talk about this in the morning okay? I’m too tired to think” Kunigami is speechless. What? “You’re not mad?” “Im absolutely pissed right now, but I know you’ve been through a lot so I’m letting you go easy just this one time”

He smiles just as he’s about to say something you kiss him. The kiss is passionate and hungry leaving both of you off of breath. “What was that for?” “Just missed my beautiful boy. Come give me cuddles we haven’t cuddled in months”

He smiles thinking about how lucky he got.

[vulpisnocturna]

My deary. I see you are back (hopefully somewhat better), but I need you bad as ever!

Yes I totally ripped that from a song, but it’s literally what came to mind.

Been thinking *a lot,* per usual. About all the Uchiha men in my life. You know me, biggest Shisui slut to have scorched this planet. Anyways, if you’re feeling it, it doesn’t necessarily have to be Shisui—can be Itachi. Or whatever.

Wildcard list of hc for these men. Things that they didn’t realize were arousing, but then when they see you do them—it just tightens the slacks a bit. Probably something they should feel ashamed about but don’t.

And in all honesty if your not feeling it, then I totally appreciate you reading my wild whims. Or if something else, because creative freedom is always appreciated from my favs here, do something else.

I just really crave this man, and your writing of him. I eat the words your fingertips formulate like a rabid beast.

Sincerely,

Me 🙂❤️❤️

My darling! Let me see what I can cook.

Shisui - Itachi secret turn ons (?) 🫶🏻

Shisui

- puns. I think Shisui would be the type of guy who sees you make a stupid dad joke or pun and he is like

- red lipstick. I don’t know why, it just makes his knees jelly and something else quite… hard.

-sassiness. It makes him smile, especially if you’re quite a bit shorter than him, he thinks it’s cute.

Itachi

- I think Weasel Boy is into thigh high socks (me too tbh). I think he would stare like he’s trying to X-ray your legs if you wore thigh high socks

- Smiles. Your smiles to him are extremely sweet and also uplifting. And yes, they turn him on. One, because you’re smiling at him and his heart is going crazy knowing he made you happy, two because there’s so much cruelty in the world and you look so radiant and you’re his light. He’ll gift you a little smile of his own 🥹

- If you read to him 🥺 especially when he’s blind AF. He is going to be so in love with that stuff. Bonus points (and probably Itachi going feral) if you brush his hair while you read to him. Itachi when Reader does these things:

[hexgaywire]

LUXIEM Bedtime Routine

Writing type: Headcanons

Rating: SFW

Total Word count: 1036≈(before edits)

Other notes: Implied some sort of established relationship with the reader (you can interpret as platonic or romantic, it's up to you)

Featured?: Ike, Myta, Vox, Luca, and Shu

Author comment: HA! with a blog name like mine you'd expect a XSOLEI headcanons first but gotta keep them guessing ig.... Please enjoy;; my headcanons are a stream of my consciousness if anything; I haven't written anything publicly in like a year ahaha (killme)

Disclaimer and Reminder; this is based on the characters made by NIJISANJI, not the people behind the character voicing them. If in the future the person expresses or states that fics of this nature makes them uncomfortable I will 100% remove this or anything I write about the characters involved.

Bedtime routine:

Always has a cup of sleepy time tea before bed

Will force you to drink one too (because you both have no sleep schedule <3)

For nights where you both go to sleep on time, skin care routine

Hear me out.... I'm talking face masks, creams the full sends baby

Once all of that is taken care of y'all will eventually change into whatever you sleep in (Oliver-sensei outted Ike the other day for sleeping in only boxers lmfao but that's not relevant)

He will spend at least an hour reading in bed before falling asleep, be prepared with a sleeping eye mask maybe?

Or start a night time books club with him because he will not change this

He is a novelist after all

Once he's done reading and the glasses come off, one of two things will happen

He will fall asleep immediately

Or you guys will be up for the majority of the night talking about deep stuff

You know those sleepovers you have with your homies where it gets deep, that's what I mean

Regardless what time you pass out you are sure to sleep safe next to Ike!

Extras:

Ike doesn't strike me as a guy who likes to cuddle in bed, if anything you accidently snuggle up to him he'll shuffle away from you

He sometimes will fall asleep at his desk which is a habit he only started since streaming, back when he was novelist he didn't have this problem for some reason

Ike sleeps with like one blanket? I hope you like the cold &lt;3

Bedtime routine:

I feel like Mysta's bedtime routine is a wildcard, you never know what he's gunna be doing to eventually end up in bed

You brush your teeth and he goes "OoOOoh I knew I was forgetting to do something."

Sleeping feels more like a chore to him then a necessity

You'll catch this man up at 3 am playing Minecraft and he'll still be like "Oh shit, is it bedtime?"

He's a piece of work to even get him to start to migrate towards the bedroom

Once he finally changes and lays down; he's kind of like Ike, where he'll immediately pass out or will spend hours talking to you

However the conversations are more like "Why is cheddar cheese orange do you think?"

GOOGLE IT IDK I'M TIRED

Once he finally falls asleep he 100% mumbles in his sleep, you find it endearing as you slip on a pair of headphones or earplug's

Extras:

Opposed to Ike; you will wake up either cuddling or being cuddled by Mysta

Despite the struggle to get this man into bed, he sleeps better next to someone

Known to occasionally sleep walk

You found him in the bathtub one time it was kinda scary

He firmly denies this ever happened

Bedtime Routine:

Vox is very ritualist when it comes to bedtime

He's also a very sleepy demon and enjoys maximizing his sleep to its full extent

So with him it's very "no nonsense"

He takes a shower

Blow-dries and cares for his hair

He brushes his teeth (While still in a towel)

Again h e a r m e o u t....

He's a voice demon that came back to life, he has a skincare routine for bedtime (Still in a towel btw)

All luxury products of course

After that he change into something comfy

For some reason after all of that this man sleeps in mismatched socks like a sociopathy

Once y'all lay down he'll watch some stupid memes on his phone of a bit or do some light reading

There is no in between

Once he's done however he is out like a light, usually within an arms reach of you

Extras:

Similarly to Mysta, you will wake up in his arms

It's funny because he insists it's entirely your doing

On the rare occasions where he can't sleep he'll get up and cook something

He says it helps him relax

The delicious aroma however wakes you up and the two of you share a lovely midnight snack

Bedtime Routine:

Luca tends to stay up really late

This is partial because of old work habits (if no ones awake to see you get rid of a body then it isn't a problem)

Luca like Vox though has bit of a ritualist bedtime getting ready routine though

Shower

Brush teeth

Change

Without fall no matter how late into the night (morning) it is

Once in bed, he crashes

The man is out like a light

I think because his bedroom is definitely his own space he feels at ease and can just doze off

It does help that he has a very nice bed I guess too

Once again you know you can sleep safe next to Luca, he wouldn't let anything disturb you

Extras:

Like Mysta, Luca does occasionally talks in his sleep, but not nearly as loud as Mysta does

He doesn't strike me as the cuddling type either, i think if you tired it wake him up

Despite being able to sleep easily he also wakes up super easily

Again probably due to his pat

Fear not though, once Luca let's his gaurd down again he passses out pretty quickly again

Bedtime routine:

Shu, like Ike, has a big cup of tea before bed

He swears up and down that drinking something warm before bed gets you to sleep faster

He's also diligent with his night time hygiene needs

Once again; for the final time, I'm asking you to hear me out

Skin

Care

Routine

You cannot sit here and tell Mr. Shu Sorcerer Yamino (eyyyyyyyyy) doesn't take good care of his skin

Off track but anyway

Kind of like Luca, once he's in bed he is out

I also feel like Shu snores but like not loud? It's kinda like white noise (like listening to ocean??)

Sleep well sweet sorcerer

Extras:

Shu is also not a cuddler, he's more the type to like accidently fall out of bed if you snuggle up to him

He doesn't like feeling the extra body heat on him while he sleeps

Off topic again but he also has a strict morning routine which consists of him getting up early

He's be trying to get you on board but like sleep ya know?

(My request are open plz send me some)

[ddarker-dreams]

Lock, your thoughts on penacony in hsr? Or just the last 1.6 with dr ratio and Ruan Mei (the love of my life)

2.0 SPOILERS BELOW !!! BEWARE BE CAREFUL BE SAFE!!! ⚠⚠⚠

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i went in thinking penacony was a far superior former IPC prison planet to live on than eris (from nexus) and left going hm. perhaps the eternal night is preferable to biblically accurate flying killer worms. LOTUS-EATER > the reverie hotel

this update might be my favorite yet. i've always loved dazzling, noire veneers with seedy undercurrents. i'm not sure if i've mentioned it on this blog (i probably have bc i never shut up) but the game la noire is one of my all-time favorites. jazzy music, glamorous starlets, corrupt organizations; those set pieces just do something for me. the environments are gorgeous. the reverie hotel has this larger than life feel to it and its layout reminds me of a panopticon, then there's the dreamscape itself. a city that never sleeps which you can only access by falling unconscious. there's so much creativity in the puzzles and charm in the little interactions littered throughout. i especially loved playing matchmaker with a bunch of bottles.

alright, onto the story itself: the start and end were strong with the middle being a hit-or-miss. i am far more forgiving with this in star rail than i am in genshin, since in the former, i'm subjected to the cruel and unusual punishment of hearing paimon's banshee shrieks. i think they did a good job crafting a compelling mystery. anything involving the unconscious is a writer's treasure trove, there's so much you can explore with it. i'm curious to see the angle they take.

as for the moments that stood out to me the most:

the initial dream sequence ft acheron with her being weird. the seemingly eternal hallways, contorting in physic-defying ways were a personal favorite. it reminds me how in dreams, there isn't always an outright threat, yet uneasiness persists. what's familiar warps into something indifferent and unknowable. very neat. then the shot of her crying blood after cutting down the trailblazer... very iconic of her.

mr aventurine. what was he about to do to the trailblazer?? why must they have stopped him?? let him cook. i was game for anything. zero fear, zero hesitation. he's an interesting player. neoliberal girlboss topaz had some workable parameters, aventurine is a total wildcard. his ambitions are murky at best. i kinda wonder if he might stick it to the IPC by purposefully flunking his assignment, it'd make for great revenge.

sparkle is unapologetically awful which makes her fun. her cosplaying as sunday's recently deceased sister was so appalling that i actually stopped for a moment when i pieced together what was going on. i've always found aha and their absurdist philosophy one of the most interesting among the aeons. it seems like there's a real emphasis on characters that embody their aeon's ideals (black swan + fuli, sparkle + aha, sunday/robin + xipe, etc). i hope they lean into it more.

SAM.................................................. his encounter betrayed my expectations in the best way possible. i have so many questions about his involvement and motivations. the music for his fight had my heartrate ascending. i play with japanese voices so i'm not sure if it's limited to the JP dub, but i was surprised by how polite he speaks?? even as he's about to immolate the trailblazer + her two accompanying girlfriends. it wasn't the cadence i envisioned for him. the stellaron hunters never fail to capture my interest, wtf are they Doing........

[a-local-idiots-shitpost]

Wildcard#2 why is there a Horse with bags of Money?

belongs to this

Lucifer:

if he wasn´t used to your bad behavior he might have scolded you but he also knows this doesn´t help because as long as you think something is fun you will always do it

and bank robberies are one of your favorite things to do so trying to stop you is like trying to put a fire out with oil

and as long as they rob banks they can´t so anything worse, like impersonating important political figure or going on a murder spree

sure he would prefer them to do neither of those things but at least he only has to deal with the lesser of the two (or countless) evils

Mammon:

he´s disappointed at you, both of you already planned your next bank robbery together, how could you not wait for him!

okay but he thinks you could have made it a lot funnier if you turned into a second bag of money, you could have stolen even more money that way

and then given it to Mammon, I mean the great Mammon obviously should get a cut of 100% for his perfect idea and this deal is non-negotiable

okay maybe negotiable if you give him half of what you got now and the other half now

he really needs some money to pay the Witches but he already spent everything he has and nobody else wants to give him some

and he knows you will always give him some because you know he won´t give it back anyway and you can´t resist his sad look

Leviathan:

you should have stolen the newest Ruri-Chan figurine if you were already on your weekly robberies

or literally any other limited edition merch, there would have been so much to choose from and you didn´t even get him a present

he´s very insulted right now but if you were to get him the rare and elusive Devilstation 5 he would suddenly feel a lot better and no he isn´t trying to guilt you into getting him a present not at all

he totally is, he can´t lose against Normies he has to get one even if it isn´t as good as his computer

if he didn´t want it to make others jealous he would bring shame over his title as Avatar of Envy

Satan:

if you turn into a Cat he´ll keep it between both of you and won´t tell Lucifer that you robbed two banks in one week

and if you can smuggle in a Cat for him he´ll never bother you again… maybe you might have to help him keep it hidden

and maybe pay a bit for it too, actually scratch that he doesn´t want the Cat to like you more than him

okay but most important one turn into a Cat but make sure Lucifer doesn´t see it because even you just looking like you isn´t allowed in the House because Lucifer claims even allowing such a little thing will make his Cat addiction come back in full swing and House of Lamentation will be run over again

bullshit! all that happen is that he allowed a couple 50 or so Cats into the House… so it wasn´t over run Lucifer was just being a dick against him for no reason

but Satan will be the one with the last laugh this time

Asmodeus:

yeah he get´s the feeling where you just want to go wild and take whatever you want, I mean he never had to do that because most people would give up everything to be with him but he´s pretty sure that´s how most of his fans feel like

and don´t worry he won´t tell anybody about your love of bank robberies iiiif you promise to buy him something pretty

or you don´t even have to buy something pretty you could just steal something form a jewelry or a museum depends on what you prefer and would think is funny

he also already made a list for it <3

and no he wasn´t planning this he just like making lists of pretty things that should belong to him, including you <3

which he crossed of because he already has you and will be damned if he would ever lose you

Beelzebub:

if you buy him food he won´t tell Lucifer you robbed a bank looking like a Horse

he really wanted to eat at a fancy restaurant and Lucifer said no, unless Beel can pay for himself

and it looks like you got more than enough money for him to use for food

I mean considering it´s Beel we are talking about you won´t have enough money but he can dream

and you like him so he´s lucky enough that your willing to use extra money so he can eat as much as you want, you probably won´t have any left but eh

if you ask one of the Brothers you just get everything you want anyway so money is mostly useless for you

Belphegor:

the only thing he said before he fell back asleep was just “you spend to much time with Mammon” and honestly you would have been more surprised if he said more than that

and that he didn´t insist on using you as his plushie, last time he slept for three days and you couldn´t get free

those were such boring three days…

at least he doesn´t freak out because you robbed the second bank in one week, actually does he even remember? it always feels like when you tell him something and he falls back asleep he forgets it

eh could be worse at least he won´t know where all the money you drag in comes from

Diavolo:

he thinks your just being funny and silly, I mean yes you did rob a bank and last week you turned into a Dinosaur and killed a bunch of Demons or the time you turned into a Harpy to steal a priceless artifact but as he said your just being in one of your silly moods it isn´t your fault you decided to go through with a bad idea

also you got him something too when you went through one of your murder/robbery sprees so he can´t even be mad at you if he wanted to, that´s what Barbatos is there for :D

yeah he would love to allow you to keep doing your thing but Barbatos already scolded him and unless you stop he will have to keep getting scolded every day

please forgive him...

Barbatos:

as long as you don´t make Diavolo look bad or rope him into one of your plans you can go wild as much as you want

but this also means if you robbed a bank, no matter your crazy appearance, you shouldn´t immediately run to the Demon Lord´s Castle

just as he said before as long as it doesn´t make Diavolo look bad Barbatos doesn´t care about what you do and how do you think it looks when your first stop after a Crime is the Demon Lord´s Castle

and if you said anything besides it might make Diavolo look bad he will personally throw you out of the window and he will make sure you can´t change into something that will make the landing hurt less

Solomon:

yeah he knows how shapeshifters are, they always come up with the craziest of plans to do well anything

guess there is a lot of creativity involved when you can turn into everything you want

but he´s surprised it doesn´t get boring after a while

but the only thing he wants is if you rob a bank again get some money for him too

his experiments are expensive and he can´t forage everything he needs

also he wants to partake in the next one too, in his opinion crimes are a good way to bond :)

and he doesn´t really have much to do so he´s pretty boring and everything you do ends in fun and chaos

Simeon:

he isn´t mad just disappointed

he will make you feel incredibly guilty for a little bit of bank robbery, which is honestly the tamest thing you ever did

hell this is the tamest thing he ever caught you doing

but he always tried to make you feel bad about what you did so it shouldn´t surprise you to much

he doesn´t want you to give the money back though, he actually wants you to a good thing and use it to help people

and as long as he doesn´t want you to give it back to the person you stole from you can deal with it

he doesn´t knows how much you stole and you can keep some to yourself

or just give it all away, you actually just did this for fun and not because you needed it

Mephistopheles:

what a magnificent creature

a shame it´s nothing but an annoying and hideous shapeshifter… okay hideous might be to much but he can´t think of any other insult for them tricking him into thinking he actually saw a Horse

he doesn´t take the annoying back though

you are because every time he sees you, you do something he hates

but he doesn´t hate you enough to tell someone that you robbed a bank and he knows Diavolo will just tell them to let you go

or because you changed your face for a couple of months, he actually saw that happen a couple of times

but that was for murder instead of bank robbery

so he knows you could just get away with it anyway

Raphael:

a Horse that robbed a bank? guess everything can happen in the Devildom but enough of that time for a spear rain

and as it turns out it´s not actually a Horse and just a shapeshifter that robbed a bank

still time for a spear show- oh… it´s actually you

yeah he doesn´t want to kill you with a spear shower, you´ll just have to fight him for your live

he´s joking if you couldn´t tell

but you have to bring the bag of money back and no you can´t bribe him and it is non-negotiable

be glad he´s noce enough to not turn you in to the Devildom judgment system

though he knows you would easily get out even if somebody would catch you

Thirteen:

Thirteen knows a couple of shapeshifters and at this point she thinks it´s some weird rite of passage for them

if a rite of passage involves robbing a bank and then turning into a horse and hoping the confusion is big enough to take the money and run

but if you help her with a project of her´s she won´t tell anybody and yes the project is just another plan on how to kill Solomon

but all you have to do is sit where she tells you to sit there looking pretty like always and how you usually do

which is more than enough for her to throw an anvil on his head and crush him like the insect that he is

perfect plan and no she doesn´t care what you tell her that´s not a loony toons like plan

[surveillance-0011]

got any headcanons for Douglas or Harper?

yeas :3 I'll do some for both but mostly douglas if that's alright!! 2nd half for douglas + harper hcs below the cut bc this got a bit long I have Many Thoughts on Douglas . lil warning for references to the whole skrendel thing for douglas and mentions of harper's military past but all in passing and whatnot . nothing super angsty or explicit just going over stuff. All of that is below the cut tho

Douglas

he/him. bicurious/questioning and a little shy about it, but it's more of an open secret than anything. He is slowly realizing he likes guys a lot more than he likes women and he's unsure how to feel about it

Space is very pro lgbt it's very much normal for them bc there's all these different species and civilizations. why would any of them be cisheteronormative lol?? But really he's more embarrassed about actually feeling strong attraction and realizing he's a mushier person than he'd like to think. if that makes sense. like "oh no i am giggling like a schoolgirl over this guy what do i fucking do"

In general he doesn't like being seen as a vulnerable person, both physically and mentally. The idea of being in love for real is a little daunting to him...

I'd say he'd probably eventually land on bi or pan tho? Just with a heavy male/masc/etc lean.

early 30's? for his species? Late 20's?

From a moon with seas on it, think a less icy Europa! Currently lives on Port Terrene or a nearby territory.

His species is a delicacy for some alien races, mainly those living on the moon but he was basically fair game for anyone in that solar system so he booked it by sneaking onto a commercial spaceship to safety. Living in the background and slimy underbellies lead him to be where he is now.

He thinks that this is kind of funny by the way he has totally taken some of the higher ups to a restaurant that serves his kind to either stare them down for the whole meal or insist they order it and then wait in the bathroom so they think he straight up got cooked

Pretty physically fragile. PT's conditions are similar enough to his home moon in terms of gravity and whatnot that he's doing alright but he needs the suit to thrive there and survive on many other planets. That and he's very vulnerable to physical damage out of his suit. So, the suit is mainly for protection and an advantage in combat but there's also the advantage of hiding what he actually looks like-- useful for his line of work, deceiving others, and not letting most know he's a squishy lil guy.

Does not like the cold. He will languish… please…

Amphibious, can spend time out of the water but needs to be moist to breathe + thrive. Suit mists him down too.

In general the suit is pretty well coded and whatnot... engineering masterpiece... it's like a little mini mech kind of in my mind.

Would kill to pilot a huge ass mech some day btw. Douglas needs a huge ass mech.

Garmantuous, Nipulon, and probably Giblets have seen him out of his suit or otherwise know/have been told abt it. That and whoever of the Skrendel Bros he had that little tryst with. or not. idk.

Everyone else? A good deal of people mainly those in the crime syndicates have seen him without his helmet or been able to kind of see his face through it but I'm under the assumption that only some folks know he's a straight up octopus. Assuming this since Kenny didn't know and it took Gus some time to recognize him/he had to figure it out first so ig that means most folk (Including Rel and Krubis) don't really know !!

As for how the whole delicacy thing. ig that's like. other side of the galactic community. niche shtuff.

While he's generally an asshole and cruel to those beneath him, when it comes to the other officers of the G3 he's generally friendly (by Douglas standards tho). Still it's very 50/50. Total wildcard, does whatever entertains him. Prone to mischief, trickery, and dragging others along in his antics, sober or not. Will be your pal one day and your worst enemy the next. Workplace warfare game is peak I'll tell you that much

He does a good job at worming his way outta trouble. He's a clever lil guy pretty damn resourceful. People don't give him enough credit bc for all the lack of impulse control he shows he's smart and slick enough to un-fuck up the situation if need be.

always a little pissy abt dealing with the long term consequences that he can't get himself out of but hey. he tries his goddamn best

Decently buddy-buddy with the Skrendels though this have been a bit Complicated since. Yknow.

Honestly I think it was Jonathan. Makes the most sense to me in my mind. The two are pretty much still just friends but Jonny boy kind of wishes there was more there now. Douglas doesn't, all that much. The other brothers know and Angela has probably pulled Douglas aside to beg "for the love of all that's holy let him down gently"

Mona was more like "If I so much as see a tear in my brother's eye you're calamari"

But they're all still pals. I guess. Everyone has their ups and downs? They still like getting up to mayhem when their paths cross and Jonathan is pretty friendly with Douglas still even if the other two are pretty... not all that ok abt the whole thing. the bros get protective.

Weirded out by Giblets but is honestly much too entertained by how pathetic he is to tell him to fuck off. He just tries to up the "what the fuck" factor when he can. On the other hand Giblets is very terrified yet very enthralled w/ Douglas. He is an enigma to the dr....

Things are also weird with Krubis. They kind of totally hate each other but it kind of makes them good friends. Above all else Douglas reminds Krubis of himself when he was younger so he kind of. Gets It and wants to keep a closer eye on him

like. they would get along so well but so awfully as well. there's no way krubis isn't jealous that Douglas has a better job and manages to keep it despite all the bullshit. There's no way they haven't been screwed over by Douglas once or twice by being caught in the crossfire of all the stuff he does. And I think Douglas is fickle with some of his workplace alliances some days he’ll take Krubis’s side others he’ll take Giblets he’s just like that for the goofs. Krubis gets pissed off w/ him a lot but I think they are low-key on the same wavelength. idk if that makes sense i'll probably draw or write it out in detail some day soon... hm...

Garm is Tired of Him. Nipulon is consistently disappointed and somehow also surprised with the crazy shit Douglas gets up to but does appreciate when Douglas comes around and does something competent by his standards. Gurgula found him annoying but is just. whatever.

Not always the best at reading the room.

A pretty optimistic person actually. Assumes best case scenario often. Even if his idea of the best case scenario involves killing people he doesn't like it's fine he's just a little guy

He can change colors somewhat, mostly at the tip of his tentacles. It's a signifier of health and emotion. There's a lot of patterns of flickering for communication and whatnot. They curl and deepen in color to denote distress, for example. And he's usually a pretty bright blue unless he's sick.

Epic gamer. With that many tentacles how could he not be. Total sucker for arcade games especially,,

Also big on party + group games. This is a man who has killed over mario party or kart… I just know it.

And drinking games ofc

Watches shitty daytime television on his days off esp when he’s hungover

Also loves riffing on shitty movies

Laughed over people crying about the space titanic movie only to bawl at the end. He blames the alcohol but we all know… we all know.

Facultative carnivore or omnivorous with preference to meat. main diet is like. fish shellfish maybe some sea plants... algae things... idk... he can stomach other foods but most plants just don't do anything for him nutrition wise. i say most because who knows what crazy stuff is out there in space. le shrug. gotta think the space food stuff over...

He thought Sweezy was annoying but useful. Lots of bickering but considering she doesn't talk during the fight he probably turned off her ability to with that inhibitor thing later on into their time together? because i do not think she would willingly be quiet for his sake.

Honest 2 god he coulda been a stand up comedian or an actor or written a book or something he's funny enough for it. But ig torturing people was his calling.

And he is a very creative torture technician! He's definitely squeezed information out of people well before. He shows enough prowess here that Garm is still impressed enough to not have totally gone sicko mode on him god bless

Beer and adjacent spacey drinks (there's a lot more choices out there in the galaxy after all) are his alcoholic beverages of choice. Some fruitier cocktails catch his eye sometimes too

Even when he is not going off on wild adventures or partying he is being generally bewildering.

he just wants 2 have fun at the end of the day...

Harper (i don't have as much I need to watch another play through i think)

she/they sapphic. Soft butch ish but dorky always looks like she's taking fashion notes from Luz (saying this as someone who hasn't watched TOH but. you see what i mean. and i mean this with affection and understanding.)

Thrilled to find about about axolotls on Earth. Frilly like her :) very fond of amphibians in general

Stoked to be learning all this cool shit about people and the world around her and doing cool shit as a bounty hunter and meeting Gene and stuff...

Kinda easily impressed. not used to having nice things.

Traumatized for sure but she's trying to be chill about it. Not used to asking for help

Generally A Bit Anxious at all times. jumpy in casual life

Vaguely morally fucked from being in that task force. This is kind of canon i guess... she'll be a little cheap or nosy or callous if she has to be and while i don't think she's super scummy I'm sure that cold blooded training will not be wearing off anytime soon

She does care about other people she's just bad at empathy and relating... and yknow... taught not to care... taught to be a soldier... but she cares she loves her pals so so much goddammit!!

The sort of person who googles her symptoms and convinces herself she's dying of ultra instinct tuberculosis

Professional armchair psychiatrist

Capable, just clumsy. She'll get the job done but not without some mishaps and taking the long way around.

Big fan of summer+warmer weather

Likes strawberry and mango... big on fruit in general. fruitpilled.

Ice cream and sherbet fan

But she love burger also. yes i am going to do the thing where a character mentions food and consider it their favorite sorry. i just love a girl eating aburger.

Never got to meet Kenny. They did, however, cross paths with Lezduit sometime before the G3's invasion.

I am a Harper x Sweezy truther. women... awesome... not yet tho i think it is a gradual thing... i like to imagine it just kind of happens. no confession or whatever just someday soon they wake up look at each other and say "wow i guess we've just been dating now"

could apply to other Gatlians but esp for her she likes to watch tv with gene and will totally watch youtube on the Bounty Hunter's computer... my little iPad baby...

Really likes nature documentaries. Worlds biggest casual geographic + Lindsay Nicole fan also

Speaking of I am choosing to believe both of them survive and start making alien zoology videos.

In an anthro or human au she would have a prosthetic leg

Either way anthro or not, the cybernetic bits are all kind of like a prosthetic and she talks to Gene sometimes abt disability + combat stuff during the uncommon occasions that she opens up about it a little.

And lastly a little prediction: if they bring back Kenny w/ a new VA then I'm expecting either an ability to switch which one you want to use, maybe having the option of dual wielding the two of them, or that Kenny gets an upgrade that makes him more powerful and he's a late game addition like Lez :3c

Or maybe pointing to a two player mode or switching perspectives with Lizzie if she finds Kenny wherever she is?? Kinda like Yokai Watch 3 switching between chapters until the two protags meet up.

[chthonic-cassandra]

🦈, 🎬 (and also ❤️ if it's not too hard to answer!)

🦈 Which character is the toughest to write?

Ahhh. Several contenders here. Probably the toughest is Van Helsing - I really don't get him on a fundamental emotional level, have trouble liking him, and do not have fun trying to match Stoker's weird diction for him. This is a lot of why he so rarely shows up in my fic.

(I also have really struggled every time I try to write the Marquise de Merteuil, but that is more for emotional reasons and I think I am actually pretty decent at writing her voice when I do get it together.)

🎬 If a movie or show were based on your fic, which fic would you choose and who would you fancast?

I never ever think about this! Probably because I don't think of my fic as very cinematic and in fact, with its focus on the interior experience of violence, I think it's sort of anti-cinematic? But let's say Compromise, because it at least has a plot and isn't just someone contemplating the existential implications of their trauma for 2.5k words.

Fancasting this feels totally weird because, again, I don't ever think about this question, and also the nature of the plot makes me feel weirdly uncomfortable picturing specific actors enacting it. (I have directed plays, so I don't know why I feel this way? I don't know, I'll ponder that reaction more.) But this is what comes to mind, based on sensibility rather than match between actor appearance and description of the character in the text -

Dracula - Christopher Lee. There are lot of other possibilities especially of actors who either did play Dracula or should have gotten the chance to (older Conrad Veidt, whose Dracula performance we have all been unfairly deprived of, Frank Langella, Christian Carmago, maybe Tony Todd who would do a great Dracula), but really I can't say anything other than Christopher Lee.

Ecaterina - someone who can do an edge of understated glamor? Like Anouk Aimeé or Claudia Cardinale.

Ileana - I am going to throw out a wildcard here and say Hudson Leick or Ruth Wilson.

Adriana - Isabelle Adjani. This one's easy.

Mina - Thandie Newton, maybe? Young Holly Hunter? But this is probably because I have seen both of them memorably play characters who had complex dynamics of resistance in response to interpersonal violence.

Jonathan is the hardest of all because his kind of quiet simmering arc is not something very common for male characters. I keep thinking about Jacob Anderson but that, even more than the Mina ideas, is typecasting based on previous roles because tv IWTV Louis' arc has some similarities to Jonathan's in Compromise.

But I really don't know! If other people have fancasting thoughts on this one I would be very, very interested to hear them.

❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?

So hard to choose a favorite! Let's go with one that I think about a lot but which I don't think anyone else has ever commented on: "You are in a picaresque and your map is dotted with minefields" (from Lightning-Struck).

[total-drama-brainrot]

Hello hello ophe 👋😇

I’m doing somewhat ok these days how about you? I hope you are getting better 😇

Anyways I got a crack idea and it sounds kinda stupid but hear me out

Bank robbery or crime gang au

You get Alejandro who is the one in charge

Noah the brains

Justin the distraction for the police and just the attractive distraction

Tyler is the “athletic” one really he’s also part of distraction the other one they shove in the vents

Wayne (don’t ask no one knows why he is even here) is the getaway driver

Cody the hacker and the one they shove into the vents

Trent is the second getaway driver is Wayne is knocked out and he’s also helps Cody when he is shoved in the vents (Trent tells where Cody need to go when Cody is in the vents)

Owen is also part of the distraction team and somehow supplies the group with firearms of all things?

Harold is the main hacker

Duncan is I guess the Jack of all trades?

Anyways yeah I don’t know why I thought of this….

-Ass Stars anon

Hello hello, A.S. Anon! 👋😄

I'm slowly getting better by means of an excessive amount of decongestants and painkillers! 💊

Total Drama Bank Heist AU sounds like a fun little crack idea, I'm on board.

If I could suggest something, I'd like to offer both Noah and Harold as the groups' 'Guy(s) In The Chair', with Noah using his canonical hacking abilities to scout out their chosen heist area using it's security cameras and/or downloading the bank's blueprints digitally (pretty sure he did something similar to this in Dramarama?) and Harold utilizing some of his various Mad Skills to plan the group's course of action and probably man their comms. I say this because Noah can't stand Harold, so making them work together as the groups' off-site organizers would/could be hindered by the two of them bickering instead of actually working. (Also because I can't imagine a world in which Noah would willingly do something as physically straining as robbing a bank. Mission intelligence, however, is right up his alley; he and Harold absolutely fight over who gets to be called 'Q'.)

Having Alejandro as the main group's de facto leader just feels right, and I don't think they'd need someone dedicated to being the 'Brains' with him around (though that title would go to Harold and Noah technically). He's quick witted enough to think up plans of action on the fly and devious enough to charm his way through a tough spot, all whilst being physically capable enough to fight his way through trouble- if anything I'd say Alejandro is the 'Jack of all Trades', thought 'The Leader' is probably a more appealing moniker to him.

Justin as 'The Eye Candy' also feels natural- it's his best (only) talent! He's been shown in canon to be a bit of a schmoozer, so complimenting/flirting his way through the banks' guards/employees and working as a distraction is perfect for him, especially since I doubt Justin would want to do any dirty work and risk damaging his 'perfect face/body'.

Duncan and Tyler would be 'The Brawn', with Duncan actually being an effective physical threat whilst Tyler is... Tyler...

Though Duncan could also be 'The Wildcard', since his loyalty isn't exactly assured at any given moment. Whilst I doubt he's ever rat the others out for his own assured freedom/safety, abandoning them at the scene while he makes his escape? That's a total Duncan Move (he learned it from Courtney in TDDDDI).

I honestly can't see Owen as a heister, unless he was somehow tricked/blackmailed into tagging along, but if he was he's be similar to Tyler- though his title would be something along the lines of 'The Beefcake'- just some extra muscle who's not particularly good at being extra muscle.

Cody would be the safe cracker. He's small and "quick on his feet" (his words), he's literally built for crawling through vents and cracking open safes! He's smart enough to be a code breaker, though he rarely shows it, and I also think it's a nice nod to his bomb diffusing fear- it's a similar course of action.

Trent as the getaway driver also just feels right. He's laid back enough to be contented to just sit and wait for the others to finish their heist, and his poker face is pretty good so one one really suspects him to be involved in the others' ongoings. He probably plays indie rock songs from the 80s as they speed away from the scenes of their crimes, and he absolutely owns a pair of mirrored shades that he only wears when it's Time To Go- he thinks they make him look cool (they don't, but no one has the heart to tell him).

I could see Cody as a secondary getaway driver as well, if Trent's unavailable, utilizing his baby face and unassuming demeanour to divert suspicion from himself. "No officer, I'm not a getaway driver. I'm just a baby, don't you see the learner's plate on my Vauxhall Corsa?" He has a terrible poker face though. If they were ever pulled over or caught he'd admit to everything without prompting.

I can't really think of a way of including Wayne, given the canonical age difference, unless said age difference is lessened in this AU. If he's, say, 16 whilst the rest of them are in their early 20s, I'd suggest that he's Owen's younger cousin who's tagging along because the group couldn't find a way to dissuade him from joining without him (either intentionally or inadvertently) tattling on their whole schtick. He's got no idea what's really happening- he's aware that they're heisting but Wayne doesn't have the, uh, cerebral constitution to connect "Bank Heist" to "Committing Actual Crimes"- but he's having a Great Time regardless! Alejandro has him on lookout duty (read: Wayne sits outside of the bank, oblivious to the legality of the situation) which Wayne takes very seriously... until he gets bored and hangs out with Trent/Cody in the car.

Now for extras!

Their main opposition is a specialised group of investigators who are assigned to their case- since they mark each heist with their group's name but have yet to be caught (They probably get Duncan to tag the side of their hit banks with a crudely drawn Bull Head or something in bright red spray paint). They're not cops, but they do work with them (ew) to try and finally catch the heisters.

Heather, alongside Courtney, Gwen, Leshawna, Lindsay, Beth and Sierra, work in this special ops. group; they're all specialised agents who are dispatched to the scenes of the heists to try and catch our boys in the act.

(I think Sierra would make a really good intelligence operator, given her canonical ability to run ~22+ blogs simultaneously and dig up private information on people. She'd direct the others towards whichever bank she finds Harold and Noah hacking into.)

They occasionally enlist the help of Izzy and Eva for the extra muscle, but the duo are too temperamental to be a full-time part of their operation.

(Yes I added my girlies as a rival group. It's Gender Wars Time. S1E14 all over again but this time there's less gross food and more LITERAL CRIME‼‼)

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

@allvalley100

Prompt: Wildcard

Friendships: Demetri & Miguel & Eli (ft. Sam & Yasmine)

So I saw this week's prompt, and all I could think of was the IASIP episode where they try to sell gas door-to-door XD CW for pretty explicit sexual mentions that were...pretty inevitable, considering the source material XD Also CW for some (lighthearted) sexism, although it's kinda played for comedy/absurdity.

This a 6-parter--600 words total! Takes place in S4 or S5, when the entirety of the OG loser trio are fighting against Cobra Kai.

***

“As the brains of this operation, I think—”

“You’re the brains?” Miguel sounds a little heartbroken. “I thought I was the brains.”

“No, no, you’re the looks!”

“So…I’m not smart?” Miguel looks even more crushed.

“It’s not that!” Demetri gestures frantically, trying to salvage the situation. “You’re the looks, I’m the brains, Eli’s the wildcard.”

“I’m the wildcard?” Eli lights up. “That’s fucking awesome!”

“It’s the iconic formula, right?” Demetri grins. “Can’t fail with it. The Scooby Gang never did!”

“So…by not playing into that dynamic, we’re limiting our potential?” Miguel looks intrigued.

“Exactly. Can’t mess with a classic.”

*

“So Cobra Kai’s plowing us in the ass, right?”

Miguel’s dubious. “Don’t know if I’d put it like that—”

“Their stupid merchandise! Their flashy ads!” Demetri scoffs. “They’re ruining our lives with their synchronized kicks and their rotten ass-plowing hearts! As the brains, I’ve concocted a plan that involves oiling our asses and doing a little plowing of our own.”

His accompanying gestures are met with concern.

“Not gay sex,” he clarifies.

“Oh, good! I was sorta worried.” Eli sounds almost insultingly relieved. “What did you mean?”

“Gentlemen…” Demetri smirks. “We’re going to sell more merch than Cobra Kai.”

*

“We’ll need a bank loan to order and print the merchandise. I’ll spin the proposal to sound sensible, and Miguel’ll sit there looking pretty…and possibly providing sad puppy-dog eyes if needed.”

“This plan sucks.” Eli scowls. “I don’t get to do anything!”

“Untrue!” Demetri retorts. “You’re the wildcard—you sit there looking unhinged. Like you could snap should our proposal be rejected.”

“Like this?”

Although Demetri appreciates Eli’s reluctance to re-awaken The Hawk, a little pout isn’t very wildcard-esque.

“Pretend the bank left Miyagi-Fang a bad Yelp review. You’re plotting revenge.”

Ah. There’s that slasher smile.

“That I can do.”

*

As Miguel presses the gas, his eyes flick between Demetri and Eli.

“What the hell happened?”

“Eli tried showcasing the merch with karate moves, and we kicked our first potential customer in the face. She called the cops.”

Miguel groans.

“Demetri, you said this plan was flawless.”

“Hey! I did exactly what a wildcard would do!” Eli protests.

Miguel sighs. “So Demetri as the brains isn’t working, so I’ll be the brains and Demetri can be the muscle.”

Despite himself, Demetri blushes.

“You…think I could be the muscle?”

“Yes, sure, if it means I make the plans from now on.”

*

“Don’t you see? That’s why the plans weren’t working! We were operating on an incomplete crew!”

Miguel gestures frantically at Sam and Yasmine, whom the boys have doggedly hunted down in Forever 21. When Miguel unexpectedly changed course to the Valley mall, all Demetri and Eli could do was confusedly follow their new leader.

“Sam’s the muscle,” Miguel explains. “I’m the looks, Demetri’s the brains, Hawk’s the wildcard. It’s a full set!”

“You’re going to steal my only shopping buddy?” Yasmine complains. “Moon’s in the Maldives all week!”

“Come along!” Demetri says brightly. “We still need a Token Useless Chick!”

*

Demetri loves being the brains again.

“Sam, once we kidnap Kyler, beat him up until he confesses to some Cobra Kai felony.”

“My pleasure.”

“Miguel, use your puppy-dog eyes and sweet-talk the cops into giving us reward money for turning Kyler in.”

“Will do!”

“Yasmine, continue being useless and complaining about everything.”

“Ugh.”

“Reward money goes toward making merch, and—hey, what’s with the brakes?”

“I CUT THE BRAKES!”

Eli’s shriek fills the car.

“WILDCARD, BITCHES!”

The Sentra’s evacuated in seconds, albeit with much screaming and cursing. But let it never be said Eli Moskowitz doesn’t commit to the bit.

[zorosdimples]

❣️ for any and all you want!!!

alyyyyyy this one makes me so shy but i’ll do it for you, my love <3

❣️: who likes to give oral the most?

oh god okay you all are about to learn something about me: receiving oral is incredibly important to me. it’s totally fine if someone isn’t okay with giving/receiving it—everyone has their own circumstances and i don’t judge. but i couldn’t be with someone who didn’t enjoy going down on me. with that little tmi tidbit, i’ll go through some of my faves.

zoro: my favorite swordsman prefers to give than receive—seldom will he accept a blowjob without eating me out before/during/after—so i would say he gives it the most! that’s not to say i don’t enjoy sucking on his fat cock; trust me i do!!! but he’s bigger and stronger and likes to be in control so he gets his way more often!

kakashi: my hokage husband is another giver. sure, he enjoys blowjobs! but he feels kind of guilty about receiving them without giving me anything in return. he’s aware of his position and his power and is overly conscientious about our power dynamic. this is something we work on over time, but he will never not be a giver at heart!!! i want his daddy long dick in my mouth at all times, but he won’t allow it :-/

beel: giving hands down no contest. he will go down on me until i nearly pass out. his cock is so big that foreplay is incredibly important. i love sucking on his tip—fitting much more than that into my mouth is a fucking feat—but he’d rather i drown in pleasure than focus on him :-(((( he’s the sweetest :-(((

hidan: i don’t know why i included this man he is a fucking wildcard. sex with him is always mind blowing, but you never quite know how it’s going to go or what he’s going to try. we’re pretty even on the oral front. he’s a nasty fucker (affectionate), so he’s got his face in my pussy after i workout, when i’m on my period, after he cums inside me—he’s a fiend. but just as often as he has his face in my cunt, he’s pushing me to the ground, pulling his dick out, and shoving it down my throat.

nsfw self ship questions <3

[dogmetaph0r]

❤️ and 💚 for ask game (i’d actually love to hear your opinion about like the whole ass ask list but i hope two is alright)

why of COURSE........i love this list

putting my answers under the cut because this got long as HELL

❤️: I think the most egregiously mischaracterized character in the fandom is Grace. lil gracie-poo. gracie face. Can you tell I adore her?? I understand why the fandom is divided about her, but I think there can and should be a difference between a character's personality and a character being poorly written. I think they really dropped the ball on Grace since she returned. I have always seen her as a complicated woman. On the one hand, she's very smart. She's capable. She has her shit moooostly together, but at the same time she's a bit of a wildcard and prepared to use her FUCKING GUN to say no means fucking no, you son of a bitch. She can be snarky, bitter, and vengeful. She's quick-witted and can push back at Tommy when he's being.....well, Tommy. On the OTHER hand, she is also so, so sweet. Grace prefers peace and love and family. She likes to be surrounded by good. She likes to DO good. She likes order and has a tendency to follow the rules, both social and according to her job. I think because she's a female character, this comes across as boring and unimaginative because that's what's expected of women (and I don't blame anyone for thinking this, but realistically we ALL know a pretty girl who's a total sweetheart). But I think she had a lot of potential as the lawful good reluctantly drawn into Tommy's chaos after her return, and unfortunately she was fridged because that moved the plot along. I do think it was the right decision for Tommy's resulting breakdown, but not giving us the time to remake that connection with her and learn what she's all about now that she has it all??? and then violently rip her away before many people have the chance to form an emotional attachment???? mannnn cmon. Overall I understand the criticism, because I too didn't really like her at first, but I honestly do think she gets the short end of the stick from the fandom because she's a woman. If we saw a male character doing the same thing (or, hell, also doing what society expects of him. cough cough) I can almost guarantee you that the reaction would not be the same.

💚: AUGH anyway. next one. My favorite character is Alfieee. I already had a bit of a ramble on TGoAS earlier and the details I wanted to analyze more from there, but besides that trauma, I think people honestly give him too much credit for thinking ahead. He is SUCH a good bullshitter. He schemes, yes, but many of those agreements with enemies and planned betrayals are kinda spur of the moment, entirely based on whether or not someone offers him something he likes more. I think the most planning we've seen him do to my memory has been getting Arthur arrested, and it really was mostly Alfie's love for theatrics and excitement that pulled it all together. Tommy figures him out quick as hell, but sees him as an equal. In my mind that means yes, he is incredibly smart and ambitious and a stellar leader, but he's a habitual enough liar that it's not hard to figure him out. Plus, as cute and ursine as his little quirks are, he's no teddy bear. That man is a serious danger and is more than ready to go grizzly mode at a moment's notice (i have thoughts on c-ptsd there too but that's for another time). I love the way people interpret him, because he IS silly and sassy and fun, but he also is kind of a motherfucker and more than a little recklessly impulsive. It's what "kills" him, after all! I've read some really good fics that tap into his rage and impulsivity while also giving him the room to feel disgust at his actions and experience the brutal gift of hindsight (as much as he hides the human part of himself, the section in TGoAS about his nightmares was impactful), but I can't remember which ones they were atm. Also, this is so niche, but I don't know how good of a dad he really would be. I think he'd be FUN, but I don't know about "good at parenting". But I'm gonna ignore that because it's the less fun hypothetical and I like to have fun sglkjslkgjsdl

[duhragonball]

Super Dragon Ball Heroes 47-49

All right, it’s about time we wrapped this web-anime up...

So Demigra gained Dark Factor powers, plus he controls the Scroll of Eternity, so he’s riding high at the moment.  The first thing he does is alter the landscape of Aeos’ tournament battleground.   I’m not sure why this matters, since none of these environments were real or anything, right?

Then he summons various bad guys to fight the warriors on the battleground. And not just the usual suspects, either.  We’re talking deep cuts, like Chilled from “Episode of Bardock”, and Fin, a Majin from the SDBH manga.  I think Towa created Fin, but I’m not sure. 

Also, some of Mechikabura’s crew from the Dark Empire saga, again seen in the manga.  This is weird, because a number of these guys would consider Demigra an enemy, although maybe they’d sing a different tune since he’s the Dark King.

We finally got Super 13 and Lord Slug in this show.  So now the only classic movie baddies left unused are Garlic Junior and Bio-Broly.  I’ll be looking for them down the line, when SDBH releases the “Fugliest Yaoi Couple” Arc.

Oh, and here’s Baby Vegeta and Hatchiyack, ready to take on Jiren.  See, what irks me about this series is that this would actually be pretty fun to watch.  Would these two brutes stand a chance, or would Jiren blow them away with his awesome strength? But instead we just get this one shot to tease the idea, with no follow-through.  And that would make sense, considering that we have a main plot to follow, but that main plot always involves the same characters doing the same moves over and over again.

And we’ve got Cell, but so what?  This show already brought back Cell and didn’t do anything with him, so why should I get excited when they do it a second time?

Also, SSJ4 Broly is here, but Xeno Gogeta takes care of him.  I’m not clear on whether this was a bad guy Demigra arranged to help him, or if this is the same Broly who was entered in Aeos’s tournament, and he just wandered over here on his own. 

Seriously, this is really weak stuff.  We’ve seen fusion in this show at least ten times now, and this is the second or third time they’ve had Broly barge into the story as a wildcard.  I was going to say they had Broly fight Gogeta already, but no, that was Vegito the last time, my mistake.  I mean, what the hell?  The whole appeal of Dragon Ball Heroes was the plethora of what if scenarios and weird dream matches that you couldn’t get anywhere else.  But this show’s been running for five years now, and what do they do?  Broly vs. Gogeta.  Yeah, that’s totally fresh and novel.  It’s not like they made a feature film about it or anything. 

Goku tries to stop Demigra, but he gets wiped out, so Aeos tries to beat him with some big special move she rarely uses.   Also no sale.  Demigra just powers out of it the same as anything else.

Meanwhile, I gues Chilled must have killed Vidro’s people, because he talks about finishing the job when he sees her, and this gets her all fired up.

Vidro and Yamcha do a combo move where he makes a Soukidan and she covers it in broken glass, and they drop it on Chilled’s head.  Then Vidro proposes to Yamcha, so things are moving very quickly here.

Demigra’s got Goku dead to rights, but then Vegeta shows up to make the save, and that gives Chronoa and idea.  She asks Aeos to keep Demigra busy while she executes a plan to save the day.  Is it fusion?  Yes, yes it is.

Meanwhile, Trunks and Future Gohan are getting beat down, and Gohan apologizes for letting him down, but Trunks tells him that they can protect each other this time, and fight side-by-side.  And I guess that’s a dream come true for both of them, since Trunks never had the chance in his timeline, and this version of Gohan comes from a world where he survived but his Trunks got killed.

So Vegito seems to turn the tide against Demigra, but he’s not too worried because he estimates that their fusion will dissolve relatively quickly if he keeps fighting at this level.  So Demigra weathers the storm and...

Yeah, they come apart, and Demigra takes out Vegeta just to make sure they don’t try this again.

Demigra powers up and powers up his minions, then shoots a big energy ball down at Goku.  He tries his best to stop it, but he can’t do it alone.

But then he’s joined by Future Gohan, who reluctantly left Trunks to fight alone so he could lend support to Goku. 

But Trunks isn’t alone for long, as a bunch of good guys start showing up to help.  Are these the other fighters from the tournament?  Didn’t Aeos erase them already?

Then Bardock shows up to help Gohan and Goku against Demigra.  He gives them a pep talk and they power up some more.  Goku goes Ultra Instinct, Bardock turns Super Saiyan 4...

... And I don’t think Future Gohan changes at all.  Well, anyway, their combined power finally pushes Demigra back...

... and that’s it.  We’ll have to wait until Episode 50 comes out to see if Demigra is defeated or not.  I would think this would do the trick.  I mean, they already used Fusion as a false finish, so if this triple Kamehameha can’t do it, I don’t know what else there is to try.

So for now, that takes care of Super Dragon Ball Heroes.  It’s a fun little diversion, but it’s pretty weak on plot and long-term storytelling.  The show mainly depends on namedropping and cramming as many power ups and characters into each episode to get attention.  I’m glad I waited this long to watch the whole thing in a short period of time, because checking this thing out in 9 minute installments once every 6-8 weeks would get really, really frustrating. 

[taughtdefense]

there’s a lot of things that you haven’t revealed about yourself to your friends... like the fact that you’re an eldritch being, or the fact that your humanity switch had been flipped for an entire day after you’d had a particularly nasty run-in with a horde of cobra kai students - excluding robby, thank fucking void - a few days ago. that’d been a 5v1, & some part of you just decided you were slightly done with pretending to be weak, at least for that singular, isolated interaction in particular. there hadn’t been a punch thrown, no kick blocked, just general taunts & sneers from kyler & his band of clowns. after they’d left, you flipped your emotions back on, & that had been hell, even if they’d only been suppressed for a total of six minutes... almost that entire solo interaction. your depressive episodes have been rapidly pendulum-swinging violently between making you feel too much & not enough since then. right now, you’re glad your emotions are off, because if you had to look at robby when he’s like this, a member of cobra kai despite ( because? ) of everything, you would have lost your fucking mind.

but that emptiness you’re feeling is better than feeling too much. it’s better than anger, better than sadness, better than guilt ( YOU SHOULD HAVE TRIED HARDER TO STOP EVERY BAD THING FROM HAPPENING, ETHAN ! YOU’RE A FUCKING FAILURE ! ), better than the bone-deep, choking grief of losing your first love to monsters in the form of deranged, war-starving men. …it’s a little funny. you - the kidpool version of you - have killed people like that before, people who are so much worse than terry silver & john kreese, without so much as hesitating, or deliberating on the morality of anti-heroes. …or what your mom would say if she saw kidpool you surrounded, shoulder-deep, by corpses that were once clearly identifiable as human, ripped apart by stitched-together atoms in the form a little blond boy, small hands stained with enough wet grey matter for it to drip between your fingers. why you can’t raise a hand against your enemies in this universe is unknown, but that divine intervention is probably for the best of everyone around you.

you suppose your emotions being off again - dead & buried - is why you’re entertaining kyler & his stupid fucking antics, complete with the same gaggle of idiots. they’re back for round two. the only thing that’s different is that @vipersunion , scarlett & jaime are with them this time. why, you don’t know, nor do you really want to start chatting with them. that’s fine. you & talia are friends despite the karate war, & even though jaime is robby’s twin, you don’t really know her that well. same with scarlett. all you know is that scarlett is best friends with tory & that other girl, cosima. you’ve pretty much ignored the four of them, who are both standing off to the side with ciro while kyler recycles the same old taunts you’ve heard a thousand times.

it’s technically nine versus one; hardly fair odds given your inexperience in karate. but you’re not really counting on ciro & talia fighting you. jaime is a wildcard, but you already know that ciro’s going to stop her from fighting you if it comes down to it. it’s just kyler & four others taunting you.

you’re just standing in the middle of sam’s neighborhood, surrounded by cobra kai members who’d ran into you randomly. you’d walked from your apartment to the larusso house to clear your head, had dinner & hung out with sam, then started walking back to your apartment. they’d walked up to you. calling for back up is a little impossible right now.

you’re staring blankly at kyler & his four friends, your stance far too casual. the blank look on your face & the way you’re standing is not like you at all. it makes ciro slightly unnerved. as a result, he’s half-standing in front of talia & jaime, a warning to them ( & not to you ) is clear in his stance. ❝ don’t do anything, ❞ his body language screams. it’s not because he thinks they’re weak, but you’re the outlying factor here. you’re something he can’t predict, despite the literal millions of years of friendship between you. he doesn’t know what the fuck is going on with you lately, but the fact that it’s visibly unnerving him should be an indication to the two girls that you’re not… you, right now. ciro’s protection doesn’t extend to the other cobra kai members, which of course you’ve noticed.

GOOD. maybe you’ll get to blow off a little steam, witnesses be damned. you’ve been angry at the universe - at kreese & silver for manipulating robby - for far too long.

eventually, kyler gets annoyed at that fact that you’re not reacting to his taunts, & you simply roll your shoulders when he growls at you. you’re entirely unbothered, & a little bored, whereas kyler is growing increasingly aggravated. it’s something you’re counting on.

❝ you done? ❞ your tone is equal parts jarring to the others & robotic. it makes ciro have visceral reaction, goosebumps decorating his skin, physically scowling. he looks visibly unnerved. all of these emotions are unheard of for him. instinctively, he raises both arms up to gently push talia & jaime a step backwards. he’s treating you like a powder keg that’s about to explode, but his wariness isn’t unwarranted. something that you recognize.

you just… don’t fucking care about any of it anymore. the karate war, the crazed senseis, the drama between sam & tory. let robby do what he fucking wants. he’s a big boy, he doesn’t need you to look out for him anymore. he can ruin his own fucking life. you’re done caring.

( that’s what you think now, anyway. )

❝ no, wilson. i’m not. ❞ kyler responds coldly, all snark & no brains to the obvious change in you. you predict the first punch before his brain can tell his body what to do. he swings a punch up at your jaw easily, but you very smoothly react, grabbing his hand in your fist before the punch can connect, squeezing his hand so hard that you hear every single knuckle in his hand pop. it’s an impossibly fast, one that’s pure instinct. surprise flashes across kyler’s face, & the other cobra kai’s faces turn from taunting to surprised, alarmed or fearful. you can sense the fear coming off their entire bodies in waves. kyler is about to pull his hand back, but you hold fast. then, you sharply twist his hand without much force on your end at an awkward angle. the sound of a single but vital bone in his wrist dislocating echoes sharply across the dead empty street, & kyler screams in pain. ciro’s nose scrunches up for a half second. not at the scream, but at the sound of the bone being dislocated.

you drop his hand, then push him backwards, aiming a calculated spinning kick to the side of his head, long before kyler can even defend himself. the kick connects perfectly. kyler’s head snaps to the side, & he stumbles backwards, groaning. big red steps up to fight you next, but you simply punch him in the throat with a fraction of your true strength. the teen collapses onto the ground like a stone into water, gasping horribly for air he can’t get. his entire face goes as red as his hair in a matter of seconds. you didn’t break anything - you merely fractured something, probably important, based on the way he’s wheezing. when the third cobra kai member, alex, rushes forward to fight you, you quickly stop him in his tracks. you grab his arm, another hand reaching across his chest to force him to stop. he does, & you flip him onto his back, barely moving yourself. it’s one fluid motion, so fast that it makes ciro raise an eyebrow.

speaking of ciro, he takes more handfuls of steps backwards, instinctively pushing talia, scarlett & jaime back another step. he hasn’t said anything to you, & neither eldritch makes a move to fight their friend. ciro just quietly watches the fight, which isn’t much of one to begin with. you turn towards kyler & forcefully kick his leg out from under him, watching his knee drop to the ground to break his fall. before he can stand up, you quickly land another spinning kick on the other side of kyler’s head with your right leg. the mortal can’t block or deflect the hit in time, & he crashes to the ground, quickly using his uninjured hand to break his fall. he doesn’t get up again.

the fourth & final student, nick, puts up a smidge more of a fight, but you’re downright terrifying as you block, dodge & counter every hit he tries to throw at you, your miyagi-do training kicking in. a kick is blocked with your leg, a punch deflected with your elbow, causing him to gasp in pain. an attempt to grab you is made, but you side-step out of the way, using your new position to elbow him in the jaw - just to piss him off. he takes a step back to recollect himself, but you reach forward, speed & long limbs always an advantage in a fight like this. you grab the sides of his head before he can react or shake himself out of your grip, yanking his head down while simultaneously bringing your right knee up, kneeing him square in the face. nick collapses into a heap, a hand instinctively covering his nose, which gushes blood. based on the sickening crunch, you broke it. good. you don’t stop there. as nick stumbles back, gasping in pain, you land a single hard kick to his chest. the shorter teen drops to his knees, & you watch him collapse onto his side, clearly in pain.

alex tries to get up again, but a very light, by your standards punch to his torso makes him drop to the ground again. he looks up at you with shock in his eyes, clutching his chest & groaning. he curls up into a ball.

you’re eerily calm as you survey the damage done. you say nothing. only ciro, scarlett, talia & jaime are standing. the teens on the ground are still groaning in pain, clutching their various injuries. big red’s nose is still gushing blood, but your knuckles remain entirely unscathed. kyler tries to stand up, but you kick him once in the back, coldly telling him to stay the fuck away from you & your friends. he groans, weakly cradling his sprained wrist closer to his chest instinctively. his face is twisted in agony. you don’t know if he heard you, but you wouldn’t mind kicking his ass again some time in the future. he’s definitely going to need a hospital, like the others on the ground, but you have no intention to call anyone. he can do that with the good hand he still has.

pathetic.

❝ don’t worry, kyler, ❞ you begin calmly, voice going from dead empty to faux gentle, but you’re unable to hide the disdain you feel for him, the DISAPPOINTMENT for him not putting up more of a fight against you, ❝ you & your buddies will heal in time for the all valley in two months… probably, anyway. but… if you’re up for round fifteen or what-fucking-ever round in the meantime, name your time & place. i’ll be there. oh, & go ahead & tell your friends at cobra kai what i did, too, if you feel like it. but i doubt anyone would believe you. ❞ you add as an afterthought, tone bored.

the tense, shocked silence that falls over the group of teens means nothing to you. you’re not even winded. your heartbeat is steady, & your breathing is normal. it’s like you didn’t just beat up four cobra kai members in record time. as expected, you felt nothing the entire time. you still don’t now.

❝ this isn’t you. ❞ talia breathes. you look up at her, eyes flickering between talia, scarlett, jaime & ciro with complete disinterest. ciro instinctively tenses, but his face is set in a grimace. you shrug you shoulders.

❝ no, it’s not. ❞ you agree with her on that front. your tone remains flat. you push past the four cobra kai members without a second thought or a glance. ciro says nothing, but he’s clearly a little shocked. you raising a hand to harm mortals like this in front of him… it’s terrifying, even if it’s warranted, because kyler started picking on you. although, a thought hits you. your dark brown eyes flicker down towards jaime, holding her gaze unflinchingly. your eyes are startling. there’s nothing there. not an inkling of warmth, or who you were trying to be. the chaotic but good-natured boy is dead. the karate war wounded him, but robby picking cobra kai was the final nail in the coffin for you, it seems like. your eyes are entirely devoid of emotion.

❝ do me a favor, jaime. tell the mighty, untouchable king cobra that if he wants revenge for hospitalizing his new friends, he knows where to fucking find me. ❞ you tell her, the words coated in venom that’s very unlike you. ( the sarcastic bite, however, is. ) with that said, you shove both of your hands into the pockets of your sweatshirt, continuing to walk down the sidewalk, leaving the stunned cobra kai members in the street.

[azusaluvclub]

🙏🏻🙏🏻 forgive me for all the weak hero posts lately i am currently uncontrollable- BUT i just wanna say: not to dump a whole wolf keum analysis here but theres just smth about him thats so interesting to me- like i know in the story and such hes often considered vicious and unpredictable — overall a wildcard — but at the same time, hes actually rather ... smart + fair, imo ???

like there have been many times where hes been shown to take advice from others (like hwangmo, or listening to jake when he told him to stop during that fight they paired up for), has given portions of ganghaks funds to his lackeys, overall accepting of his losses, etc- he pretty easily saw through jareds dumbass plan, so hes also more observant than he seems

like these are very lame examples bc im going off memory, but his character is surprisingly complex, i feel- (at least for what we know so far of him) like itd be very easy for him to just be written as a regular-degular asshole antagonist who makes it everyone elses problem — and to an extent, he totally is :,) — but even he has his limits and morals, it seems ?? and i think thats what i love sm about his character !! and why im so curious to see how his story unfolds post-excommuncation

but yeah rhats all :DDD been holding this one in for a while, my bad yall

[mickmundy]

for the ship ask thing 14, 26, 35 for bushmed please <3

OMFG WHEEEE HIIIII MY FRIEND ^___^ ABSOLUTELY!!!

14. Anything they both dread?

casually? losing matches, their stats in combat falling, pets getting sick, etc… things that would hinder their professional performances or bad, albeit fixable things happening to the things they love (their pets and each other)… pretty standard stuff!! on a deeper level? i think sniper is afraid of inadequacy, letting down his loved ones… and medic’s greatest fear (imo), “if he has one” (it would be easy to say he doesn’t but i like exploring a Very Human side of ludwig so!) is being… not in control, specifically not being able to sieze control again after having lost it. he’s not afraid of losing it if he’s confident he can get it back, but being powerless to stop things (like… say… death… for example… ;))… that’s something that greatly unsettles him!

26. How do their friends feel about their relationship? Their families?

tbh i think the mercs will always support each other no matter what tbh! i don’t see why any of them would Disapprove. if medic and sniper are happy then they’re happy for them! :) i think heavy and spy are their biggest supporters, though. they’re proud of their best friends for finally getting over themselves and choosing to be happy together!!! as for parents, well, medic’s are long gone and personally, my fic takes place after the comics, so that means sniper’s parents are dead too :( that doesn’t mean i don’t think about medic meeting them though!! hehe… i could write a whole post on my musings about that but i think the Basic Idea of sniper fretting over taking medic to meet his parents and medic being cool as a cucumber.. HEHEHEHE….. i think medic would know sniper’s really stressed so he’d be on his best behavior… part of being a total wildcard! plus, as much as he loves making sniper flustered, he wouldn’t truly put sniper on the spot, especially not with his parents involved.

35. Do they bring out the best in each other, or the worst? Do they have a fatal flaw?

hmm i think they bring out good things in each other that they previously never really thought they were capable of… feeling…? so they Do inspire growth from each other… but i also think it’s important to know that they don’t magically solve each other’s (or their own) problems when they get together!! i think part of what makes bushmed interesting (or in my interpretation, at least) is that they’re both inherently flawed people who are just… doing their best to understand each other because they’re in love and want to be together.., ykwim..,, part of what makes both medic and sniper interesting as characters to me is that they’re both capable of…. just about anything! but i like to think that they don’t always have all the answers (contrary to what they both think of themselves… LOL) and, like any life worth living, experience ups and downs, and more importantly, experience them together! :) i think sniper’s flaw is his pride and medic’s is stubbornness, though!! but i also think they care enough about each other to be able to talk things out if things go bad. :-)