#he's almost home 😭😭

[coffeeworldsasaki]

Another thing that makes kaladin so painfully relatable is how much his mental illness hides his personality, because between depressive episodes and trauma he's this sarcastic little shit that smiles a lot at his friends and then the depression gets to him and all that disappears

[wholock-pottergleek]

my roman empire will always be kurtbastian. like the missed opportunity, we really could’ve had it all :(

[fmet]

I always go back to that moment in 206 when Eunyung has just left his family home for the last time and he calls out to Haejoon and Juwan, but there’s no answer. They had to leave, and Eunyung realized that for however long, he had been experiencing that confrontation with his dad (and mother) essentially without allies. Everything that he had done and said, with the perceived security of knowing there were people in the other side of that door who could hear them, was suddenly reassessed under a vulnerable and isolated lens, rather than a secure and supported one. He soon learns afterward that they were forced to leave by security because they were accused of loitering, but the gap in time that he probably spent thinking they left of their own free will while he was facing off his parents isn’t something that can be easily coped with.

Eunyung “saved” himself from his parents, and it wouldn’t have been as immediately liberating as it had been for him if someone else had forced that separation. But the adjacent people in his life that he (at least previously) saw as a support network and frame of reference for normal/abnormal relationships are just as invaluable as his own introspection and bravery during this arc.

His being taken care of by Juwan and Haejoon, where he has soup bought for him and he’s chauffeured around; his conversation with Marie, where he gets to witness the ramifications of domestic abuse as an outsider; and the countless conversations he had with Haejoon over this arc, where Haejoon insists to him that what he was and is going through is abnormal. By getting to sympathize with a fellow abuse survivor and by growing adjusted to having people like Haejoon advocate for him, he develops the beginning of an expectation that he can be understood and supported by these people. Not only that, but that he should be, or at least it’s something that he should strive for when given the opportunity. This perceived support ultimately culminated in him being able to say the things he did to his dad. He was the one who took that final step, there’s no denying the courage he displayed doing what he did, but it would have been impossible for him to focus this courage into a clear and aspired effort without getting a glimpse of what he had been missing growing up: predictable love and empathy.

Emphasis on predictable, because from what we know of Eunyung’s home life and the people that have supported him in the past, every ounce of love and grace he received was conditional and temporary. His abuse being unpredictable, the people who loved and supported him frequently withdrawing when they realize that he’s an actual person with idiosyncrasies and needs, and that advocating/caring for him takes real effort, and the defensive mindset needed to grow up in an abusive household would have warped his view of people’s rejection or acceptance regardless. Learning to expect that Juwan and Haejoon would be there when he needed them to be isn’t just unexpected of Eunyung: it’s juxtaposed to everything that he’s learned growing up on the streets. It’s probably only his being younger (i.e., more capable of change) that granted him the flexibility to expect care from someone again.

So, the realization that Haejoon and Juwan weren’t there when he thought they were dramatically shifted his perspective on their support, Haejoon’s in particular. Just after beginning to develop this alien expectation, something happens that allows him to dismiss it. Relying on these people in an emotional way has to be done very carefully, sparingly, in his mind, because at any moment, whether by freak chance or someone’s own animosity, lack of caring, etc, it could be ripped away from him. Similar to the unpredictablility of his father and mothers behavior, he approaches other people’s emotional states with the same fleetedness. If he can’t understand the way people think, if he can’t guarantee he’ll always be able to abide by their guidelines for humane treatment, or, now, if in Haejoon and Juwan’s case, he thinks his nature is incompatible with theirs, he will deliberately withdraw himself from them.

The same way he continues to reminisce and hold onto the haunted dorm as the visage of a fleeting home environment, he considers emotional homes such as Haejoon with that same impermanence. Only now, with concrete “proof” that it isn’t permanent, with Haejoon and Juwan not being there when Eunyung thought they would be, it’s much easier to distance from that emotional home as a way to protect himself. The title of “emotional home” can even be ascribed to inanimate objects and concepts: his childhood passion for theatre, his talent in cooking, his hairstyle. So many of the things he holds dear he is also deathly afraid of having. Having to decide between deprecative abstinence, fearing even more having lost it after experiencing it firsthand; versus reckless overindulgence, after experiencing loss in the past and thus losing the emotional sincerity he carries for something; summarizes a lot of his behavior, and it can especially be seen in the current arc. He holds off on signing up for theater until he’s racing against the clock (221), he deliberately distances himself from Haejoon and Juwan because he doesn’t consider himself as “adjusted” of a person as they are; but robs bald HR teacher dry when he takes him to eat and laughs at his efforts to connect with him. The latter being juxtaposed to his middle school-selfs response, because prior trauma from his middle school teacher jaded him to the concept of adults, and especially teachers, advocating for him unconditionally.

Eunyung’s deliberate absence from Haejoon’s life is both in his efforts to protect Haejoon’s body and to protect his own. In that same light, his hesitance in following his passions, while inadvertently mocking the systems of support he’s been betrayed by previously (teachers, parents, etc) are all in efforts to protect himself emotionally. If he never fails after trying, if he dismisses all outreach as insincere, if he’s never reminded of what he’s lost and how it hurt him, he doesn’t have to be hurt again. It looks like with the rest of this “Eunyung Baek Again” arc, we’ll probably witness more proof of this fleeting view of support/commiseration via this middle school teacher, portrayed in how he treats his high school HR teacher now. In the opposite vein, trying to actualize his passion for theatre (and being successful in doing so), seeing new and old people in his life advocate for him, and maybe even acknowledging that his HR teacher could be looking out for him, are just a few of the many details that could begin to deconstruct his emotional lines of defense. I’m not caught up with the spoiler chapters, but I hope (and really believe) that this will be the case.

[mylove-thresher]

ok so like… wouldn’t it be funny if Fugo mistook nracnehr (bug narancia) for an actual bug… because like… what if Fugo hated bugs… (I have to project myself onto characters I love guys but like fr tho what if he did it’d be funny guys come on 😔)

I wanted to doodle a bit but I was too lazy to get a drawing I started from my school suitcase so uhh haha

also why did my history teacher fucking diss me for saying I didn’t really look into politics like dawg I’m not legal and I only hear shi ab latam’s governors and economy in my household fuck am I supposed to do when they ask me who was the minister of Quebec in whatever year I DO NOT CARE AGHHHHSHS LET ME LEARN AB SOMETHING THAT ISNT EUROPE OR QUEBEC PLEASE PELAS PELAD EPELAE 😭😭😭😭😭

(Guess who likes yapping)

[myreia]

— v. raison d'être

It was never going to last. They knew it from the beginning, all of them. Their time in the First was temporary, fleeting. For some, that would have been enough to give pause, to keep distance. For them, it made these moments all the more precious—even when it was difficult, even when it was unfair. Ryne knows they are both proud of her. That will never change, even when they live in separate worlds. It is a bittersweet thing to say goodbye, to close one chapter and begin the next. But change is necessary, a fundamental aspect of life. There is no sense in clinging to the past when the future—with all its countless possibilities—lies ahead. There is no looking back. Only forwards.

[taw-k]

People thirsting over president Loki act like there's showers in the void

HE HAS TO BE THE SMELLIEST LOKI VARIANT.

[sejjiplinth]

ma knowing marcus by name hurts me so bad because i can only imagine sejanus telling her about him after the reaping, after the zoo, how he remembers him and how terrible it all is. drives me crazy thinking about it

[quinn-joseph]

Not trying to be a bitch but the guy made me get on a train with him to get from our town to a bar in a city close to where we live (it's almost a 2 hour ride), I would at least expect him for us to split an uber so we could get to the bar and not make me walk back to the station at 4h in a freezing cold 10 Celsius weather 💀💀💀💀

[justabunchofdragons]

what do you MEAN my auntie is anti vax 😭 TWO of her brothers are doctors. another is a pharmacist!!!!!. HOW do you get to that conclusion ??????!!!!!

[homeless202]

"there's no way you don't know this already, right?" <- this right here is the main reason for EY's frustration with HJ. we've seen it already multiple times but never summarized this well.

altho they both have similar background with having to fight to survive and also stealing, EY still cannot believe/comprehend how HJ isn't as jaded as him. how can this guy still see the good in people and hope for a better future when he's seen the ugly parts of life? <- which is why EY would often starts arguments with HJ earlier in the story.

EY is obv talking from experience - he knows things most people don't know and couldn't understand. he thought HJ would be able to relate and validate (or at least sympathize with) his feelings and experiences but he doesn't. instead HJ continuously says things that hurt EY without realizing or meaning to.

[orcelito]

Honestly given how little Vash actually initiates contact with people outside of battle (either attacking or pulling someone to safety), it's actually... really, really sad when Meryl flinches from him post-Dragon's Nest.

Like. A lot was going on, but Vash, someone who Rarely initiates contact, tried to reach out to her... only for her to flinch in fear.

No wonder it fucks him up so bad. This is one of his closest friends in the world, and she's terrified of him.

[jils-things]

so i listened to all his voicelines last night

[dandyshucks]

sorry for another "i wont be as active for a bit" post (and then i'll probably come crawling back rly soon like all the other times bc i learn to cope w worsening conditions and return my usual haunts again fdsjkl) but uhmm i cannot draw and i can barely think straight. so we're going the "less active" route it seems! not that it matters much but. just in case it does last longer than a few days that's the update o7

[sehodreamsthoughts]

I find it a little funny that I want a Logan/Hugh Jackman so bad but the one time I fucked a gym rat with Logan's abs it was the worst sex of my life

[frogaroundandfindout]

The titans take a vote on what they should do with the kids. Dick reminds Epsilon once more that he isn’t Titan and won’t be included in the vote. Both dick and Jesse raise concerns about not having time to take care of the kids but in the end, the majority voted for the kids to live with the titans. (Titans #29)

[born-to-lose]

Double shift last weekend and this is the only picture I got (which my coworker actually took with me for her Facebook story RIGHT when I looked like shit and it was low effort makeup day because I had to be there early to open the bar)