#hector loves her so much and it's all falling apart :(

[blackjackkent]

Oh, geez, as if the past two cutscenes weren't enough of an emotional roller coaster ride for Hector, we get yet another very feelsy Karlach conversation come morning.

The game has this happening as a chat in camp, but I think I am picturing this as a conversation they'd have while still at the inn after the date. Perhaps lying in bed as the sun slowly starts to peek up over the horizon, both putting off the moment when they will have to get up and get dressed and go back to camp.

So, y'know, ignore the screenshots I guess. :P

"Hey," she says softly, running her fingers through his hair. He presses his face drowsily into her shoulder, shutting out the faint light starting to come through the window. "Wanna play pretend?"

He shifts just enough that one eye is uncovered to look up at her questioningly.

She's smiling, but it's a slightly distracted smile, a hint of sadness in it. "You and me... Let's imagine... I get to live fifty more years. We have a whole life ahead of us. What do we do?"

He goes very still and his heart gives a sharp twist in his chest - that all-too-familiar feeling of preemptive grief that arises whenever he thinks about losing her. His instinct, immediately, is to hide from the topic - to tell her he can't bear to think about it right now, which certainly feels true enough. For a moment he turns his head and buries his face back in her shoulder.

But then he draws a breath and steadies himself deliberately.

Last night, she finally spoke, for the first time seriously and without any safety valve of humor, of what is coming for her. She did not laugh, or make jokes about it, or deflect or pretend it didn't matter that she was going to die. And he needed to hear that, very badly, and he knows it was not an easy conversation for her to have.

And now it is his turn to answer her as she needs to be answered. She is certainly not asking this question for his benefit, but for hers; for whatever reasons might be going on in her own mind, she needs to have this conversation and carry his answer with her.

Perhaps all his training in self-control, all his life, was really just leading to the moments like this, he thinks. Moments that will no doubt come more frequently as the end draws closer - moments where he needs to be strong for her, for whatever she needs.

He shifts so his eyes are visible again and meets her gaze steadily. "It would look the same as it does now," he says slowly after long thought. "Adventure, fights - all of it together."

Does he think this is actually the truth? Hard to say. It doesn't really bear a lot of thinking about, what he actually would want from a life with her, since it brings nothing but pain. The answer he is giving is what he thinks she would want - what image would bring her happiness to hold onto.

She laughs softly, tips her head to kiss him gently between the eyes. "Now you're talking," she says lightly. "Faerun is so big, and we've barely scratched the surface." Her grin widens, but there's visible effort behind it. "I've always wanted to square up against a hill giant. With two of us, we might even stand a chance."

Her voice cracks on the last word, and she squeezes her eyes shut, a muscle working furiously in her jaw.

"Dammit," she whispers brokenly. "I wish I had a longer road ahead of me." Her fingers dust along his jaw, up into his hair. "I want to walk it with you..."

He lifts a hand, presses it to her cheek, kisses her fiercely, because he needs to do something or he will start crying as well. As it is, when he draws back, his eyes are damp and he's sure she can tell. But he doesn't cry. He holds himself steady. So many times when he has been at his lowest, she has been there for him to lean on. He will not give her less.

Try to hide a tear.

"Gods," she says softly, and her voice is more full of pain and grief than he has ever heard it. "What a disaster... Finding love like this - finding you - so perfectly late..."

Her hand cups behind his head to pull him tightly against her and she presses her face into his hair. When she speaks again, her voice is muffled. "I've always thought I was fearless. Never scared of a fight, of the future. But dying has taught me so much..." She exhales shakily and he can hear the breath catch in her throat. "There's no courage in fearlessness. There's courage in being fucking terrified but still going forward. Still being grateful. Still trying."

He smiles just a little against her chest. They've spoken of this before, in truth; she has offered it as reassurance against his own fears, of which there have been many. To hear it turned back to encourage herself, as well, somehow makes him feel the connection between them deepen even more.

He wraps his arms tightly around her, presses a line of slow kisses along her collarbone, up her neck, then draws back so he look into her face again.

She meets his eyes, breathes in and then out heavily. "We're going to save this city," she says firmly. "Together. It's going to be the last thing I do."

Again, he resists the urge to look away, to hide from the grief and the fear. If she must be put in the position of having to decide on her last wish, he thinks, she could not have chosen a better one. "I'm with you, Karlach," he murmurs, and though his voice trembles, it does not break. "Every step of the way."

She manages a slight smile, and even in spite of everything facing them, his heart flutters a little at the expression of love in her eyes. "That's why I know we're going to win."

-----

(A/N: It's cool, Larian, I didn't need my heart or anything. Once again I'm going to include a recording of this scene as well, because Samantha Beart's voice acting has really been obliterating me lately and the animation is very evocative as well.)

[shitsndgiggs]

Hiiii!!! Would you do one with pau Cubarsi or hector fort? Where the reader Is like overly sensitive and cries a lot but he can read her like a book so he knows what’s wrong immediately?🥰❤️ This is sort of weird sorry😅

TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER - PAU CUBARSÍ

Pau hugs are the best

Pau Cubarsí x fem! reader

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿

It had been a long day. I’d been feeling unusually emotional, and every little thing seemed to set me off. It was one of those days where everything felt like it was too much.

The stress from work, a minor argument with a friend, and even just the gloomy weather had me feeling fragile and tearful.

I knew Pau was coming over for dinner, and though I had tried to put on a brave face, I could feel the tears welling up at the slightest provocation.

I’d tried to hide it, but it was getting harder and harder to keep the emotions in check.

When Pau arrived, he could instantly sense that something was off. He greeted me with a warm smile, but his eyes quickly took in my flushed cheeks and the way I seemed to flinch at every little sound.

“Hey, cariño,” Pau said softly, pulling me into a gentle hug. “How’s your day been?”

I hugged him back tightly, feeling a lump in my throat. “It’s been... a bit rough,” I admitted, trying to keep my voice steady.

Pau pulled back slightly, his hands resting on my shoulders as he looked into my eyes. “What’s going on? You seem really upset.”

I blinked rapidly, trying to hold back the tears, but it was no use. The emotions I’d been trying to suppress all day came rushing to the surface, and before I knew it, I was crying.

Pau’s expression softened immediately, and he wrapped me up in a comforting embrace.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he murmured, stroking my hair gently. “Let it out. I’m here for you.”

I clung to him, letting the tears flow freely. “I’m sorry, Pau. I just feel like everything’s falling apart, and I don’t even know why I’m crying so much.”

Pau nodded, holding me close. “You don’t have to apologize. Sometimes, we just need to let it all out. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

As my sobs subsided, Pau led me to the couch and sat me down, pulling a blanket over us. He made sure I was comfortable before settling beside me.

“Do you want to talk about what’s bothering you, or would you rather just sit here for a while?”

I took a shaky breath, trying to compose myself. “I don’t even know where to start. It feels like everything is overwhelming today. I didn’t want to burden you with it, but I guess I just couldn’t hide it.”

Pau gently wiped the remaining tears from my cheeks, his touch tender and reassuring. “You’re not a burden. You never are. I care about you and want to help you through tough days like this. Let me be here for you.”

I looked up at him, feeling a wave of gratitude for his understanding and patience. “Thank you, Pau. It means a lot to have you here.”

Pau smiled softly, his eyes filled with affection. “Anytime, (Y/N). You’re always there for me, and I want to be there for you, too. We can get through anything together.”

He continued to hold me close, his warmth and steady presence providing a soothing balm to my emotional turmoil.

The gentle hum of his voice, the way he ran his fingers through my hair, and the comforting weight of his arm around me all helped to ease the anxiety that had been building up throughout the day.

As the evening wore on, I began to feel more at ease, the weight of my worries lifting with Pau’s unwavering support.

He didn’t push me to talk more than I was ready for, but he stayed by my side, making sure I knew I wasn’t alone.

After a while, I finally felt like I could breathe again. I looked up at Pau, offering a small, grateful smile. “I’m feeling a bit better now. Thank you for being so understanding.”

Pau kissed my forehead gently. “You don’t have to thank me. I love you, and that means being there for you through the good times and the tough ones. We’ll get through this, and tomorrow will be better.”

[beevean]

Rewatching NFCV with @woodchipp and @the-crow-binary has been miserable so far.

Not because of them, of course: we all need each other to bear the Peak. but holy shit I forgot how mindnumbingly boring the show is. it's way worse at a second watch because now I know how much it falls apart! We're only at S2E3 as of this post!

S1 is the best season, and even that is largely forgettable, especially S1E3 which wastes 22 minutes of my life to say "here's the bishop. he's proof that CHURCH BAD". But S1E1 may be the best or second best episode of the whole show thanks to Dracula and his performance... and isn't that sad, that the show peaks at the very beginning? The rest of the show is just... Trevor doing his stuff (while the framing mostly makes fun of him), talking, some fighting, and CHURCH BAD. As positives, I still like Trevor's mini-arc in this season, and the vague effort to be faithful to CV3 (Sypha being petrified by a cyclops, falling down a chasm to find Alucard).

S2 is terrible. Yes we're still less than halfway through. I already hate everything.

I hate Alucard becoming a legend to the point that the Wallachians name his Alucard (as in, Dracula's opposite) after only a year - why couldn't he name himself Alucard? Why complicate matters so much? Isaac calling him Alucard, and Dracula recognizing the name, makes absolutely no sense: how do they know about it? Dracula lost contact with his son one year ago and I doubt Wallachian human legends have reached him. And Isaac was in the Sahara until sometime after Lisa died!

I hate Alucard himself. He's a cunt. He does nothing but insult Trevor and the Belmonts without provocation, and it's not funny banter, he's mean! He's genuinely cruel! He hears that Trevor lost his family at 12, and he can only say "lol and lmao I had more of a childhood than you. anyway they were mentally ill and child killers, they sacrificed chickens and hoarded dead cats". And this piece of shit is the most popular character of the show??? he's not even pretty what are y'all seeing 😭

(it's also weird how he's all angsting about killing his vampire father, but he hates the Belmont for being vampire hunters. bro. bro you're also about to hunt a vampire. why are you defending a race of monsters so staunchly. not even a hint of, I don't know, a Belmont hurting him when he was a child because he was confused for a full vampire? Remember that logically, a vampire child is a child turned into a vampire, we have no other indication that dhampirs are running all around the world. I know that in the games he seems fully on board with "vampires bad and me bad for being half vampire", but you have the chance of making it better and you squander it?)

Sypha is also ruder than I remembered. I think she suddenly became more cheerful in S3 and that's why I liked her, but also girl, you keep criticizing Trevor for being rude and not consoling you, but you look at him with a perpetual resting bitch face and insult the Morning Star calling it an "ugly thing"? Why does Trevor even bother with the likes of you? How is Trephacard the most popular ship in the franchise?

I hate Isaac. Oh, I gave him the benefit of the doubt back then, because I really wanted to understand why he became the fan favorite. But now? No, I'm sorry, he's overrated as fuck. He's so damn pretentious, his speech about how he wants a pure world without love is terrible from the lens of him being a Muslim who is devoted to the Devil, and his backstory is so tryhard and historically inaccurate that I almost prefer Hector's past being exposed through voiceover.

Oh, and Hector, I hate his scenes. Because he's actually treated with dignity. He's fine! I actually like the guy! I like the scene where he rebukes Godbrand (who as a character only exists to attract infodumps and to question Dracula) because "I have to work" - he sounds actually proud of his role, if not even competent, perish the thought. Also by reading the scripts online I forgot that he was the one who yelled "you do not question my loyalty!". Which I like a lot? I can hear the real Hector protesting like that out of pride, even if in private he would admit that he disagrees with the bloodshed. And the scene where he soothes the newborn Night Creature... yeah, this character used to be written with respect, and knowing how he gets tortured and disrespected and used for rape apologism by a sex pest hurts even more. Also, in retrospect, the scene where he stares at the fire while reminiscing about the day he set fire on his own childhood home doesn't go anywhere, even as the finale of S3 echoes it :^)

And Dracula, oh my poor man Dracula. He's already being presented as an ineffectual depressed old man spending his time staring at a fireplace, who can't even command his presence in the war room, who allows Carmilla to insult him and Lisa in front of everyone - it's so embarrassing how he gets the Red Eyes of Fury and then he simply... lets her go after he gets the flimsy explanation of "yeah I humiliated you because everyone is asking themselves the same question. I wanted to help <3" girl (Dracula), she's a mere regional ruler, as she herself said??? why do you need her so much that you allow her to do this shit??????? oh but then you posture to godbrand, he gets to be threatened because... he's not relevant to the plot i guess. fucking pathetic. what have they done to my man.

(and I hate Carmilla. but that has never changed. annoying smug ass #girlboss with the charisma of spoiled seafood. her way of manipulating Hector isn't even manipulation, it's just her telling him very plainly what she wants him to do. She and Lenore utterly suck at their job, and they only get their way because muh plot)

And then there's the infodumping. Oh my god these people won't shut the fuck up. Godbrand is like "why should we listen to two humans?" and Dracula dumps twice that he trusts Hector and Isaac for their human nature (which, again, it's a decent reasoning, but it goes on and on and even they should know, I get it). Alucard dumps about the apocalyptic scenario where Dracula wins and rules over a world without humans... but he only describes it as we look into his ugly face, instead of doing something more creative like actually showing what would happen. Hector gets this random flashback-through-sound, shoved there as if Ellis didn't know where to put it in the script; later on he explains to Carmilla the origin of Night Creatures, as if ever remotely matters. Isaac dumps about his jihadist philosophy about how by killing humans he and Dracula will create a pure world. Carmilla randomly reveals her Tragic Backstory after kicking Godbrand down the stairs, another scene I can't stand because it's all about what a #queen she is and how she's better than Dracula. At one point they seriously discuss about the myth of vampires unable to cross running water, which is a moot point anyway because Carmilla resorts to using a zombie bishop to bless the river!! No I will never let it go!!!

(also I love that in the one occasion where Alucard has the chance of describing his childhood, he retells the tale of Lisa meeting Dracula, something we've already seen and he was also obviously told about, not something he experienced himself. They couldn't even come up with another anedocte to actually tell us what kind of mother Lisa used to be. so lazy)

This show is half people sitting in a circle and talking, and half average fight scenes. Yeah at this point not even those impress me anymore. I'm serious when I say that Knuckles' fight scene in Divergence, also animated by Powerhouse Animation Studios, is of a better quality than what the show has offered.

And this is why I'm so reluctant to watch Nocturne. If the best seasons of this highly acclaimed show are so painful to sit through, how are we going to survive a sequel series that not even the fans liked it as much?

[reareaotaku]

Miguel Rivera from Coco?

This request was asked years ago- I'm so sorry. Aged up +

👩🏼‍🎨You're an artist and love to draw all the people around you. You notice all the little things wouldn't notice, because of your attention to detail. That's how you noticed a boy.

👩🏼‍🎨 You saw him going into Ernesto's mausoleum. You look around to see if anyone else noticed, but it seemed everyone was to busy with their music. So, you decide to follow him. You catch him red handed with the guitar-

👩🏼‍🎨 You both fight for it, before police show up and you drop the guitar holding the guitar off. You had failed to notice the pedals that had flown around you, but you did notice how the police didn't notice you or the boy.

👩🏼‍🎨💀 He runs away and you quickly follow him, angrily yelling at him to stop.

👩🏼‍🎨💀 You both end up falling into a grave and his relatives see him??? Thankfully they were nice to you, even though they didn't notice you. You learned his name was Miguel, thanks to his dead family.

🩻 They [The family] brought you and Miguel back to the land of the dead to find out how to bring you back to the living realm. Miguel's great-great grandmother; Mama Imelda, was stuck in the land of the dead, because Miguel had taken her photo of the ofrenda.

💀 The skeleton guy behind the computer tells you that since Miguel brought you here, his great-great grandmother can send you back. You were thrilled, but Miguel was not. You both went back, but were immediately sent back, but this time he wasn't going to give up music.

👩🏼‍🎨 You didn't understand why he was being so reluctant, but then he compares it to your art [Based on the paint all over you] and saying how would you feel if someone tried telling you you could never create art again.

👩🏼‍🎨💀 You decided to help him find his great-great grandfather to get his blessing and are dragged all across the land of the dead. You have to avoid his family, so they don't take either of you back.

👩🏼‍🎨💀🦴 You both ran into a man named Héctor, who decided to help you both- Without knowing the full truth. Though he is not pleased when he does.

👩🏼‍🎨💀 🦴 You are both embarrassed when Hector calls you 'boyfriend & girlfriend' which you both adamantly deny. Hector puts his hands up apologizing.

👩🏼‍🎨💀 🦴 So, off you all are to find Ernesto to get that blessing, but you have to be quick, because you and Miguel are slowly becoming skeletons. Miguel promises that he won't let you die here and that if push does come to shove, he will take his great-great grandmother's blessing, just so you can be back and safe in the mortal realm. He doesn't want you being stuck because of him. You don't deserve that- At least, not to him.

👩🏼‍🎨💀🎸You are both surprised when Ernesto tries to kill you both. You had become close to Miguel in this time, after having spent so much time together and bonding over your love and passions. You wanted to help him. You didn't think it was fair that his family was trying to take away his passion because of something that happened a long time ago

🦴 Come to find out, Hector is Miguel's real great [2x] grandfather and that Ernesto killed him.

💀🦴 Miguel and Hector have a cute bonding moment. It made you really emotional, especially knowing what was taken. A whole family ruined because of a selfish man.

🐕💃🏼 You're all thankful when Imelda found you- Thanks to Miguel's dog- But she was not happy to see Hector

💃🏼 She takes you back to the rest of Miguel's family, who are happy to see you both in one piece. You may not have been apart of the family by blood, but you were now seen as one of them, especially since their descendent had brought you to this place. You were still surprised when she [Imelda] expressed concern for you and hugged you. Though she beredes Hector, but Miguel is quick to his defnese.

💀💃🏼 Miguel says he'll finally take her bless, but he has to find Hector's photo from Del la cruz, so he can come to the world of the living, but Imelda is still convinced he left the family. Miguel explains to her what really happened, but she's unconvinced and doesn't seem to care, still heartbroken about what he did.

🦴💃🏼 Imelda and Hector have a good moment together and while she says she doesn't forgive him, she's more than willing to help.

👩🏼‍🎨💀💃🏼🦴🎸🩻 There is a great moment where you go backstage. Imelda hits Ernesto for murdering the love of her life and trying to kill her grandson and you. You and the rest of Miguel's family chase him trying to get the photo. You and the rest are bombarded by security- But Imelda finally gets the photo, but is brought to the stage.

💃🏼 Imelda sings while on stage, while trying to give one of you the photo, but security is on her- not to mention Ernesto also catches her, making it hard for to give you the photo. He ends up snatching the photo from her, but she stomps his foot and is able to give it to Miguel. She finally gives you and Miguel her blessing, but changes the condition to remember how much her family loves her, until Ernesto grabs both you and Miguel.

🎸👩🏼‍🎨 Miguel ends up slipping from his hand, but Ernesto keeps a tight grasp on you and Miguel's spirt guard tries saving you, but Ernesto wasn't having it. He throws you towards the edge of the stage[?], before slowly cornering you to the edge, nearly causing you to fall. They all try and calm him down, but it's not working.

💀 Miguel sees the opportunity to turn on the camera and put it at you and Ernesto and everyone in the audience watches as Ernesto nearly kills you

🎸👩🏼‍🎨🐈‍⬛ You scream when he throws you off the edge and all that crosses your mind is that you were going to die- You nearly hit the ground when Imelda's spirt guide saves you after Miguel's spirt dog tries to. You are so thankful for that flying cat, you nearly cry.

👩🏼‍🎨💀💃🏼Miguel was the first to hug you and apologize when you're back on the roof. He would have kissed you if his whole family [and thousands of audiences] wasn't watching him. The rest of the family surrounds you, making sure you are alright.

🐈‍⬛🎸Imelda's spirt animal goes out, throwing Ernesto around before flying him through the air, before he hits a bell and hits his ultimate demise.

💀👩🏼‍🎨 You apologize to Miguel for losing the photo and telling him you can try looking for it, but it's too late. He's disappointed, but not mad, because you almost died. You grab the guitar and rush with him back to his place- After he follows you. There's so much going on that you end up getting pushed to the back. It's incredible when hearing Miguel sing to her and she responds. You almost feel like you're intruding on a family moment.

With the letters Coco kept, everyone realizes what Ernesto had done and Hector becomes famous, as he should have been. You and Miguel become bonded over the experience and eventually start dating, knowing no one would ever know each other like you know each other.

[queers-gambit]

hi! Absolutely love ur work, you're super talented! Would you mind writing a something about Billy with an insecure reader? Like just concerning her body and stuff :> if you don't want to it's no problem!

i am smooching your forehead, you cutie. i'm sorry it took so long but i'm finally thinning out my requests!!

The Weight of Words

pairing: Billy Hargrove x female!reader

fandom masterlist: Stranger Things

word count: 3.0k+

note: author is projecting!! maturity and caution advised!!

warnings: cursing, angst, shitty family relationships, a mother's hate, talk of birth control, talk of poor self image / self-esteem, author relived some conversations she's buried deep down and poured it into this. talk of diets, illusion to poor-food-relationship, again, proceed with maturity and caution.

The rain seemed to match your mood, beating down on Hawkins, Indiana residents relentlessly until you finally felt like a sopping piece of paper - ready to fall apart the second someone touched you. You tugged Billy's hoodie up higher on your head, tightening your hand in his as you hold the umbrella above you both while rushing for his car.

Moments before, you were hardly paying attention to anything around you as you were sat on the bleachers; trying to focus on your homework but the teachers must've felt the energy shift in the school and actually backed off of piling the work on. The weather seemed to drag everyone down, and perhaps, that was the reason for those harrowing comments you caught in the locker room right before lunch, that still plagued you.

Billy had another detention to serve because he was the "star" of the basketball team, meaning Coach got him out of after school detentions. Didn't mean he didn't get them still, just that he served during the lunch hour; interrupting the limited 'free time' you and Billy have. It left you alone, and while you had friends to sit with at lunch, you were feeling down since the previous evening and your mother made comments about your weight.

"Hmm, you feelin' okay, sweetie?" You mother asked, standing above you with a plate stalled in her hand.

"Yes, Mom, why? Don't I look all right?"

She tisked her tongue and turned to set your plate down on the counter, away from you at the table. "You're looking a little, well," she trailed off, shrugging as she used her hand to talk, "pudgy. Are you keeping up with your diet?"

"Mom," you groaned, sighing sadly.

"Janet," your father growled in warning, sat across from you.

"What, Hector?" She snapped. "It's a mother's job to make sure her baby girl isn't ruining her life!"

"I'm not ruining my life, Mom," you tried to interject, but the truth was, you were much closer to your father, and after you and Billy got serious (complete with your first pregnancy scare), you went to your father expressing interest in birth control.

Now, ask anyone else, and it was a 'smart, responsible decision', but ask your conservative mother? And birth control might as well been a death sentence.

The Pill wasn't widely accepted yet, but your father trusted you to be safe and after going to your OB/GYN together, he learned much more about contraceptive, and how condoms only work 99% of the time, before giving you parental consent. It was kept a secret from your mother, who would've surely slut-shamed you, but now you're wondering if keeping her in the dark was right.

It's true, The Pill made you put a few extra pounds on, but you didn't think it was bad. Your hips became shapely, your thighs rounding some, and your belly soon had a layer of "pudge". It wasn't a bad weight gain in your eyes, but if it was enough for your mother to notice, you knew it was enough for others to, as well.

"Well, you're looking heavier than usual!" Your mother snapped at you, making both you and your father shrink in your seats. Janet was a scary woman, and her words were law; her eyes blazing in anger as she look at you two. "And Hector! You let her drop cheerleading! No wonder she's putting weight on!"

"Mom!" You tried.

"No!" She raged, shoving your full plate into the sink and watching it shatter. "No daughter of mine is going to become a lard-ass in my house! We're going back on your diet, and you're going back to cheerleading - and that is the end of it!"

"Mom, I don't like cheer, anymore," you tried. "I was e-even thinking of going for softball in the spring - "

"Softball!?" She repeated with disgust. "So you can work on your manly figure, huh!? No! I will not let my daughter ruin her beautiful, feminine figure! Bad enough I let you get this heavy, but that's all over now! Tomorrow, you bring home a new permission form for cheerleading, or don't bother coming home. Now - here."

She spat her last word as she set a bowl of steamed veggies in front of you, glaring once more, before taking up your toddler brother to move into the living room. Your father caught your eye and mouthed an apology, watching you nod as you forked a stem of broccoli into your mouth. He stood, and within moments, you were heading for your room as Janet and Hector started their nightly yelling match that would only result in him sleeping on the couch - again.

While Billy was serving detention with Mr. Shwartz, you were pacing the length of the bathroom out of sheer anxiety. You eyed your outfit in the mirror, sighing in malcontent as your top showed off more of your figure than you'd realized. Figuring Billy had a hoodie in his locker, you turned for the door, and side-stepped out of the way of four cheerleaders, who were entering. They offered fake smiles, greeting you with sickly-sweetness; making you internally flinch as you remembered being in that particular crowd.

Only a few steps out of the room, you realized you forgot your backpack, and doubled back; only a few feet into the bathroom to grab your bag when the four cheerleaders were heard from their stalls, laughing, "Did you see what she was wearing? I mean! What was that!?"

"I know," another scoffed. "Like, sorry, babe, that top was cute two years ago - it's a little small now!"

"A little?" Another repeated, laughing. "Girl, that top barely covers her tits! Honestly, what does Billy see in her? It's like watching a cow try to fit in a tiny top!"

"Hey! At least her tits and ass actually finally came in, you remember how mis-shaped she was before!"

"Must be relationship weight."

"Doubt Billy's gonna stick around much longer! I mean, she's just letting herself go, and it's embarrassing to witness!"

Their laughter followed you out of the bathroom; your eyes full of tears as you rushed down the hallway. Reaching Billy's locker, you easily punched the combo in before wrenching the door open, snagging his hoodie, and only finding mild comfort when it was finally over your head and his scent invading your sense. Billy was bigger than you due to his incessant working out, leaving his hoodie a little big on you - and God, was it a life-saver now.

You were relieved for the extra material that seemingly still dwarfed you.

During the transition to class after lunch, you saw the four cheerleaders again; pointing at you and snickering to one another, making your anxiety spike once more. For the rest of the day, you couldn't find it in you to care for anything your teachers drowned on about, and when the final bell rang, you made a beeline for the gym to get comfortable until Billy was done practice.

Which brings us to the present, where you were trying to appear as small as possible on the bleachers with Billy's hoodie tugged up your head. You listened to the rain beat on the school's roof, then to the endless squeaking of the boys' basketball team sneakers.

Two hours later, you heard Billy calling your name. "C'mon, pretty girl!" He chuckled, offering his hand as you darted down the stairs.

"Hi, good practice," you whispered, pausing on the last step to reach his lips in a greeting kiss before stepping down in full; leaving you at least a foot smaller than he.

"Hey, thanks, baby," he smirked, tossing his arm around your shoulders. "That my hoodie?"

"Mhm," you nodded, fingering the material lightly. "Want it back?"

"Nah, baby, looks better on you," he nodded, pinning you with a confused look. "Everything all right? You look kinda, I don't know, sad?"

"Yeah, sure..."

"Baby," he sighed.

"It's nothing," you whispered, desperate to keep your emotions in check. Billy sighed and lifted your bag from your grip, tossing it onto his shoulder as you opened your umbrella for you both when you stepped outside.

And here, you were feeling more like a weighted piece of soggy paper that would've torn apart at any intruding touch, but only feeling able to stay together from Billy's grip on your hand. The rain was unbearable and started to sway sideways from the harsh, cold wind of late January; honestly shocking you that it wasn't snow yet.

After jogging to the car, Billy made sure to open your door and make sure you were in safely before shutting the door and rushing for his own. Once he dropped in, Billy sighed heavily and looked at you with concern, "All right, I know it's not nothing, so, don't try that with me. C'mon, baby, tell me what's wrong. Someone say something?"

"Billy," you sighed, reaching for his hand to idly toy with his fingers. He waited, knowing you sometimes need a bit of time to warm up to whatever was on your mind. In an effort to comfort you, he reached out to adjusted the heat setting of the car, letting it blast for a few moments before turning it down to a steady flow.

"We're not leavin' until you tell me what's botherin' you, pretty girl." You sighed at his words, tears springing to your eyes and making Billy tighten his hand in yours. "Who did it? Who hurt you?"

Your shoulder meekly shrugged as you felt his distinct protectiveness swell to fill the entire car; finally admitting, "It's... Kinda two separate things from yesterday and today..."

"Start with the first," he soothed, but you still felt his projected anger. You knew Billy hated your poor self esteem and trust me, he'd done wonders to help build you up - but while it took 1,000 compliments to build you up, it only takes one to knock you into the dirt. "Hey, baby, it's only me," he comforted when he felt your panic swell. "Only me, pretty girl, you're just talking to me, c'mon..."

You nodded, sniffling, "Well... Can I ask if you're... Attracted to me anymore?"

"Why would you ever ask that?" Billy frowned, sounding genuinely put off. "Baby, hey, hey, look at me, please. C'mon, look at me, pretty girl," he coaxed you into turning towards him, hand resting along your jawline to pet his thumb over the apple of your cheek. "What's going on? Who said what to you that would ever make you think I'm not attracted to you anymore? C'mon, you know that couldn't be true even if you tried."

You chuckled lightly at his complement before shrugging a bit, but hanging onto the wrist that was holding your cheek, "You know how I went on The Pill?"

"Mhm."

"Well, one of the side effects is... Is weight gain."

"Okay?"

"And, you know how Daddy was the one who took me to get it?" You pulled his hand down to hold in your lap.

"Yeah, 'cause your mom is batshit crazy," he chuckled, eyeing you wearily as you didn't always like him talking about your mother like that. Most of the time, she was supportive; but she had her own issues and sore spots that were taken out of you unjustly. And Billy worked tirelessly to make you understand that you are not your mother's worst insults.

But for this particular comment, you nodded in agreement, "Right, yeah, so, Daddy approved the medicine and we didn't tell Mom... So, because of that, she doesn't know I'm on it and noticed that I've gain some weight..."

"Oh, no," he sighed.

"Yeah," you whispered. "So, she noticed, right?"

"Okay?"

"She completely lost it on me, saying I was pudgy, saying I was going back on a diet, and all this other really hateful, awful shit. A-And today, I-I don't know, I just got a little overwhelmed. And then, there was the thing with the cheerleaders, again."

"What do you mean? What'd they do now?"

"Bee, take a breath," you whispered, squeezing his hand. "They noticed the change, too... Made a few comments about it when they thought I wasn't around," you sighed, feeling encouraged to continue by the way his thumb swept over the back of your hand. "And Mom wants me back on the cheer squad because it'll help get me back in shape... But how can I be on that team when they talk about me so fucking easily? And so hatefully? L-Like it's not my fault, there's so many medications that cause weight gain, or weight loss, and it's like I need to project that to be understood? That doesn't make sense, and girls are just so mean, and I don't know, I'm just - it's all so much right now!"

The tears got bigger and your breathing became shallow, making Billy sigh and tug you across the center console. "C'mere, c'mere, c'mere, c'mere, c'mere," he repeated until you were out of your seat and on his lap securely. "You listen to me," he sighed in a whisper, petting over your back, "you are the most beautiful woman I've ever known, okay? Extra weight or not, you're gorgeous to me. You're right, there's plenty of shit out there that can cause weight gain and it's not fair that people don't outright understand that. Fuck what everyone else says, you hear me? They only wish for a fraction of this ass," he chuckled, smacking a hand to a cheek before giving a hearty jiggle, "and to have your brains, your wit, your humor..."

"Did you do something?" You asked teasingly, resting against his chest comfortably, manicured hand scratching into his hair for your own comfort. "Kissing my ass pretty well."

"Nah, just want you to understand that I'm obsessed with you and everything about you, and that it doesn't matter to me how much you weigh or what you look like - 'cause I fell in love with much, much more than that," he whispered, pulling back to press his lips to your forehead. "I know it's easier said than done, pretty girl, but don't listen to them. They're just fucking jealous of you, they're unhappy in their lives, 's the only reason anyone talks shit about anyone these days - 's all just pure jealousy."

"And my Mom?"

He sighed, tugging you in closer, "She's just... In her own fucked up, really warped way, she's trying to protect you, I guess. I'm not saying it's the right way, or even the right thing to do, but she's trying in her own way. But you don't need to hear that shit - I know how much it hurts," he sighed. "Just listen to me on this, hey? You're so fucking beautiful, and those bitches are jealous."

"Bee?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"Can you stay with me tonight?" You pouted a little, offering him your best puppy-dog-eyes.

"How can I say no?" He smirked, nodding at you. "I'll stay, baby, yeah. Your mom home?"

"No, she's working late, and you know she comes home and just crashes on Friday nights..."

"All right," he sighed, petting a strand of hair from your forehead. "You want me to say something to her when I see her?"

"No, no, please don't," you begged, sighing after. "I uh... I'm gonna go back to cheer... Maybe placate her with one thing, since I can't really control my weight."

His head cocked, "Thought you were gonna go for softball in the spring? Baby, you lettin' her words get to you?"

"Billy, you know better than anyone in this town how heinous parents can be... So, maybe the easiest thing right now is to go back to cheer to keep her calm."

He sighed, shaking his head, "Nah, you wanted - "

"Billy, I want peace more than anything."

"She doesn't get to bully you into things you don't want to - "

"Neil doesn't get to bully you, Bee, but we both just deal with it - right? We have ticking-time-bombs for parents and you and I have learned to diffuse them instead of letting them blow up."

He sighed, leaning back in his chair. He hated when you used Neil to deflect his anger, but you had a long day, and your emotions were out of control. "All right, truce, truce, truce," he relented. "You wanna go back to cheer, I'll support you, baby. But please do it because you want to, and not because your mother bullied you into it."

You chuckled lowly, "Yeah, I've been in cheer so long, maybe I won't switch up my sport yet. Might wait for college for that."

He cocked his head, asking, "Could you do both?"

"Oh, uh, I'm not sure..."

"I'll ask Coach on Monday," he assured softly, squeezing your thighs. "Wanna go to Joey's?"

"That's in the next town, Bee."

"And you love that chocolate shake they have," he smirked. "C'mon, baby, 's been a long day... Lemme treat you to something that's gonna make you smile."

Sighing gently, you nodded, "Okay, but we're splitting the shake."

He smirked, "You better not order the salad, either. Or I'll take you home, drive to her work, and have a word with your mother."

"Don't," you warned, then sighed. "All right, if I order the burger, what about the sweet potato fries?"

"Deal," he beamed, leaning in to peck your lips. "C'mon," he chuckled, helping you climb back over him to settle in the passenger seat again. "But I'm ordering us regular fries - sweet potatoes in a shake? Nah, that's just gross."

You chuckled, "You order the regular fries, please. I'm craving the cinnamon-butter they have."

"Oh, shit," he remembered, nodding, "all right, yeah, you get the sweet potato fries and butter, I'll get the regular fries, we split them?"

"Yessir," you smiled softly, reaching for his hand to lace together in your lap. "Thank you..."

"For what, baby?"

"Helping... I wasn't having the best day, but you really helped."

"You know I love you," he smiled, "and you know when you're sad, I'm sad, but when you're happy, I'm happy."

You let your head rest on his shoulder; fingers toying together as he drove you out of Hawkins High School, heading out of town for the diner with fancy cinnamon-butter.

[mybrainrotforreal]

Cat Cafe AU Part 2

This is the elaboration that I've made from my first post and this time, it's Hector's POV ;)

Gonna tag @devilinlittlehope because you are hoping for part two (and I hope you still love Heclie :") 

When Hector Munday was 7 years old, he only lived with his mother in a small apartment. She was a single mom, left by her lover and thrown away from her family for having an illegitimate son. Working two shifts and burdened by bearing a child, she took her anger to him. Punishing him anytime she liked, even when it was not his fault. Abusing him both verbally and physically, but only leaving bruises and wounds where Hector could cover them by giving him long shirts and pants so no one won't ask.

With the thin wall of the apartment, Hector learned to silence his scream, so his mother wouldn't push a pillow on his face to muffle his voice and make it difficult for him to breathe. Until one day, Hector washes the dishes and accidentally drops a plate. The crashing noise got Lucinda's attention and she stomped to the kitchen like a raging bull. It was the only thing she got from her mother before she kicked her out of the house. The young Hector only whimpered in fright and apologized with trembled lips, gripping the bottom of his shirt anxiously as he looked down. Surrendering himself for any punishment his mother is going to give him. 

She took a hold of his hair and hit his face, even repeatedly smashing his head to the wall until his temple bled. Hector was sure his mother was going to kill him and he was so afraid, he couldn't keep silent anymore and started to cry and scream for help. Lucinda immediately covered his mouth with her hand but Hector bit her palm, his instinct finally overrode him and when she pulled away, he rushed to the door and ran to the hallways. Jennifer and Mark, one of the neighbors who had suspected there was something wrong in the household, saw Hector running with a bloodied temple and screaming for help. She took a hold of him. His mother, who looked as if she was possessed, forced the couple to give him back but Jennifer only put him behind her and took him to her apartment where Mark took care of Lucinda. 

The couple made a report to the police and the social service came to the apartment. Soon, they took Lucinda to the court, even though Hector didn't say anything, the bruises and wounds spoke for him. The couple was ready to take him to be under their custody but Hector refused. He felt guilty for making his mother behind the bar and also blamed Jennifer and Mark for reporting her to the police. No matter how much her mother abused him, she was the only family he had. And with how she screamed at him how ungrateful he was in the court... His heart felt heavy.

He was put in the orphanage, along with other kids. He didn't have friends, mostly because he didn't speak much, only spoke if he needed to. In his spare time, he learnt to write letters for his mom, even drew for her since he had access to crayon and colored pencil now. Until one day, one of the social workers came up to him, separated him from other children and took him to the room, informing him his mother was found dead in the cell. He didn't tell him the cause of death was suicide but Hector blamed himself again. If he didn't make a sound that day, he would be still with his mother, his mother would still live. It was all his fault. His chest felt stricken and tears rolled down his pale cheeks, but no matter how much he wanted to cry, he still didn't make a sound. 

Since this moment, he never talked again, believing if he talked someone could die. 

The orphanage took him to the child psychologist, believing he had selective mutism. But even after many sessions of therapy, they couldn’t make Hector speak. Not even a sound. Even one of the social workers had seen him fall on the ground and he wouldn't even make a painful sound. But the lack of speech didn't interfere with his learning process. Most of his scores are excellent and he easily caught up with students older than him in terms of academics. 

Years later, he is thirty-five years old now. While he doesn't believe his voice could kill anymore, he is so used to not talking and prefers to write or use sign language. Eye contact and speaking always take a toll on him. And now, working as a programmer, he doesn't have to interact with a lot of people and only focuses on his coding. As long as he delivers his job perfectly, no one would nag him. He usually works at home, but sometimes he gets bored and stuck. He thinks a new scene might do him good. After sorting the names of cafes around him on the internet, he finds a cat cafe just a few blocks from his apartment and decides to go there. He always wants to have a cat anyway but his job can be demanding and he is not sure if he can keep one. 

He opens the door and a bell jingles from it, catching the attention of the cats and a barista who is standing on the bar. He looks like he is in his early twenties, average build, thin lips, bright blue eyes with glasses covering them and dirty blond hair with a cat ears headband. The young man smiles brightly and greets him with a british accent. 

"Hello! Welcome to the World's Cat Cafe. I'm Charlie, and how can I help you?" Charlie looks at him curiously. 

Hector answers him only by pointing at the menu, the barista nods comprehensively and gives him the book menu along with the Do’s and Don’ts in the cat cafe. 

After reading it for a while, he points to a picture of espresso and then shows 2 fingers.

"Double espresso, right away!" Charlie beams when Hector nods, probably it's like a guessing game to him. That’s new, most people find his silence rude, but the barista looks like he doesn’t take any offense. Then, the barista gives a notebook to him, "Oh, I almost forgot, you need to write your name here as a guest," 

Hector tilts his head, it's funny that they still use paper and pen to register at the cafe. Nonetheless, he takes out his pen and writes his name and phone number. 

Hector looks around and chooses to sit on the corner, an orange tabby cat following him, brushing her body against his legs and jumping to his lap, seeking his attention. The lone man smiles and finds the weight in his lap comforting, like a warm pillow. He pets her until she purrs and only averts his gaze off her when he hears footsteps approaching him. 

"Here's your order, sir," Charlie puts the glass on the table with a coaster in a cat shape, "Oh, looks like Charizard the orange cat likes you. I must say, she can be really clingy, though."

Hector rarely smiles at other people but he can't help to smile back, albeit thinly and nods. He doesn't mind having a clingy cat on his lap, he finds it cute and... It’s somehow nice to feel wanted. The barista gets back to his counter and Hector looks at him. Does he just wear a faux cat tail?

Cute. 

Hector shakes his head and feels a blush creep on his face, good thing he always wears his mask even after the pandemic. He is here for work, not ogling a stranger. Hector sighs and takes his laptop, shifting the cat for a bit and chuckles when he hears her meow in annoyance. After writing some codes and debugging, he is confident his code will run perfectly when it's deployed. But maybe he needs to check some more. As he waits for the code to run, he looks around him again, it's a weekday and not a lot of visitors are here. The cats are sleeping but he hears a thump and claws clacking on the wooden floor as the kittens chase each other. It feels so peaceful here, even the background music, Gymnopedie No. 1, calms his always over-scrutinizing mind. He looks at the barista with the corner of his eyes, not wanting him to catch him staring. Charlie is brushing a black cat with a hairbrush while talking to him in a soft voice. Hector's seat was too far away to catch his words but whatever story he tells to the cat, by the smile on his face, it seems like good news. 

Charlie feels a stare directed at him and looks up, but Hector is fast enough to avert his gaze to the laptop, looking all serious and frowning, as if he gets another bug on his code (there is not). He looks up at the windows and notices it's already evening. After a while, he chooses to come home. The barista bids him goodbye and Hector feels like he needs to wear sunglasses every time he sees him. It's like there's this light pouring out of Charlie, especially at night. 

When he comes to his apartment, he stalks the cafe's Instagram, including its following and followers. Determined to find the barista's Instagram account. He stalks him and his heart leaps when his account is not private. Most of the photos are cats, especially the cats from the cafe but when Hector scrolls to the later dates, he finds a photo where Charlie wore a white jacket as a veterinarian student at a reputable university. Hector scrolls up again but can't find his graduation photo. What happened? Why does he work as a barista cafe instead of a vet? 

Hector spends hours on the internet to find his data, people might find it creepy but he is always been told as a determined person, if not hyperfixating. 

On the next day, he goes to the cat cafe again. Ordering his drink and writing his name on that damn notebook. Everything is digitalized now, why can they just use QR code? Hector sighs a little bit and sits on the corner again. Petting some of the cats near him and finds a familiar weight on his lap and starts working. Every time Charlie comes up to him, he always looks at his cat ears and hair. Making Charlie self-consciously touches them. 

"It was a joke really, my friends said I should wear cat ears and ummm.. the fake tail and they kinda stick. Can't go to work without them." The young man laughs awkwardly and a blush appears on his cheeks. It looks good on him. "Or maybe that way the cats can accept me as one of them, you know. If cats invasion happens."

Hector smiles beneath his mask, not only he is physically cute, he has a good sense of humor too. Realizing Charlie might not see his smile, he nods again then takes his cup to take a sip, closing his eyes as he does. It's way much better than the instant coffee he has at home. 

"Glad you like the coffee!" Charlie beams again and Hector curses himself in his head for not bringing his sunglasses. 

In the end, he becomes a regular, although he rarely goes to the cafe on weekends since it's always full of loud teenagers who can't stop squealing at the cats. And Charlie is always busy, he doesn't have time to chat with him. Most of their interaction is on weekdays, especially on nights when no other customers are around and Charlie doesn't have a lot to do. At first, he is afraid Charlie would find him boring since he rarely gives feedback. Sure sometimes he "talks" back with him by taking off his mask to show his smile, tightened lips and frowns but most of the time he only listens to his story and nods appreciatively, encouraging him to elaborate more.  

When Hector is sure Charlie is not looking in his direction, he observes him like an archaeologist inspecting a new artefact he found in a desert. The barista always greets the cats, puts his phone on the left side of the bar and if he doesn't put it there, he'll forget it. He always greets his customer enthusiastically, be it 10 AM or 8 PM, like a ball of endless energy. His body looks lithe, but Hector once saw him carrying two sacks of dry food and cat sands, so maybe he is stronger than he looks. Hector can see he is a perfectionist too, when he makes his coffee he rarely talks, especially when he makes a 3D art coffee and his face gets even brighter if the customer praises his drinks. Probably good in photography, because when the customers ask him to take a picture of them, he makes sure the angle, composition and even the lighting are perfect. When he cleans, he always hums to the song that plays in the background, which, unfortunately, off-tune. 

One thing that Hector also  notices is he reads books in his spare time. But it's not just a book like a novel, but more like a course textbook; thick, heavy and mostly black and white. Hector once takes a peak and just like he predicts, it's a veterinarian course. And Charlie, noticing that Hector is peering at this, chimes in, "I've always wanted to be a veterinarian, you know?" He smiles, but it doesn't touch his eyes and there's a hint of bitterness in it. 

Why? But it's not something he can ask out of the blue, time to gather information later when he is back to his apartment. Hector only nods and for some reason, gives him a thumbs up. The small gesture somehow makes Charlie smile again, genuinely this time.

Hector comes back to his apartment and sighs, the place was a neutral environment to him, nothing special. But now, after spending so much time in the cafe, almost everyday even. The room feels cold and too quiet, and he always keeps the place tidy and clean, which makes it smell like a hospital. Such a contrast with the place he had been before. When he wakes up in the morning he realizes he needs to run the grocery, and maybe he can buy an air freshener with a coffee scent, to make his apartment more… liveable.

The market is not that close to his apartment but still feasible to go by foot, even not so far from the cafe, so he leaves his car keys at home. Unfortunately, when he goes back, the cloud quickly turns gray and drops of rain pour from the sky when Hector walks on the sidewalks. He hurries and looks at the sign of the cat cafe, well, maybe he can get a shelter there. When he arrives at the front door, he can see Charlie is wiping the bar but he hesitates to get in. He's dripping wet, he bet he doesn't look as presentable as he usually is and if he gets in, the water would soil the floor and carpet. Maybe he should just run to his apartment, his coat is wet anyway, so it won't make any difference.

"Hector, what are you doing there? Come on in!" Charlie opens the door and after a moment, Hector gets in and the barista helps him to take off the wet coat, at least his clothes are just damp, but his face and hair are still wet, the effect of not wearing his hat today, "Who would've known it's going to rain? It all happens so fast." The boy tilts his head and looks at him up and down, "I have a fresh  towel, you can take a seat first and I will go get it."

Hector watches him walk to the door behind the bar, it looks there's some stairs behind it but Hector can only peek so much. Charlie comes back with a medium size blue towel, as Hector takes it he still stares at Charlie, a little bit awkward when other people do something for him. 

"I promise you, it's clean! It's mine, as I live upstairs and don't worry, I don't use it for my cats." 

Hector dabs the towel to his face, it smells like fresh laundry with a hint of lavender, a stark contrast with the coffee scent from the cafe. He nods gratefully at Charlie and takes the menu book, this time chooses a cup of chamomile tea. 

"Good choice! One cup of tea, right away!" He brews the tea just with the exact care he does with the coffee and Hector, for some reason, doesn't sit in his usual place on the corner. He sits at the table near the bar, not to close but still close enough to hear the clicking of glass. After making sure Charlie is still busy, he takes a sniff of the towel again. It doesn’t just smells good but also comforting. He wipes his face and hair with it, realizing how wet he is. Maybe he needs to wash his towel first before he returns it. After his order comes, he immediately wraps his hands around the cup, taking in the warmth that radiates from it. He stays there while he reads, even long after the rain has stopped and when he leaves, Charlie gives him a bunch of homemade honey lemon candies, saying since the cafe is almost empty because of the rain, he spent his time experimenting with candy recipes. Hector takes them calmly, while inside his heart leaps in excitement, nobody has ever gave him candies, not even his mom. He pays his order and puts a handful tip into the tip jar. 

Later when he is home, he needs to do some work, turns out something went wrong with his codes. It's not big and he only takes a couple of minutes to debugging it. Hector huffs, it should be perfect. Sure, his client doesn't yell at him or anything and he keeps calm demeanor but deep inside, he blames himself for such a careless mistake. It can be avoided and he is sure he can better than that. At least, it is solved now and he decided to take a bath and wash his clothes and Charlie's towel. If he gives it back to him, will Charlie sniff it just like he did? No, of course not. Charlie looks like a normal person, he is not weird like Hector and there's no way he is attracted to him. He is just one of his customer after all. That's the only logical explanation to it.

The thought upsets him and he stands under the shower long enough until the water turns cold. It frustrates him, he never wants to be with someone's presence so much than his alone time. Charlie is invading his mind, like a virus or drugs and he never gets enough of him. At first he rationalized by blaming the caffeine, Charlie uses fresh ground beans, of course it has higher percentage of caffeine than he usually had in his apartment. That's probably why he always this urge to drink his coffee. He tested it by buying the coffee from other coffee shop but it still felt like something was missing, he still wanted to go to the cat cafe. Is it the cats? Well, he loves and adoresthem but they are not what Hector thinks of when he gets home from the cafe. 

Hector sighs again as he puts his laundry to the washing machine, only to hear crackling sounds of plastic in his pants pocket. It's from the candies Charlie has given him. As he unwraps the paper, the candy is paw-shaped and a little bit powdery bcs of the sugar powder. He brings it to his lips and kisses it first before pops it to his mouth. The sweetness of honey is in balance with the lemon flavor. Not too sweet, but not too sour either.

 Hector closes his eyes and savors the taste, and suddenly the voice on the back of his mind chirps, "Is this what Charlie tastes like if he kisses him?"

His subconscious mind takes it as a prompt to fill his dream that night.

[maria-rayro]

cat!hector part 2

As time went on. He came to terms with it. He began to go back to the city - but now he had no money to buy himself anything at the cafe, so he spent all the full moons in the library, to diversify his leisure time somehow. When he walked the streets as a cat to entertain himself, he tried to watch out for people, hid a lot, didn't trust anyone.

That hasn't changed a decade later. Now he's in his thirties, and he's sitting wistfully in his cat form late at night on a bench in a deserted park when it suddenly begins to rain. It keeps getting heavier, and Hector runs away from the bench, trying to find some shelter. It is late fall, it is cold outside, but no one will let him warm up inside; he runs among the rushing people, who miraculously do not trample him, and he suddenly feels terrible helpless. He runs off the sidewalk and almost gets hit by a car when he is suddenly grabbed by someone's hands and lifted up, and after a couple of moments Munday suddenly feels warmer, and he realizes that someone has hidden him under his jacket, holding the wet cat against his T-shirt. Out of confusion, he even meows, but then presses himself harder into the stranger, uncontrollably digging his claws into him, as if afraid he'll let him go.

The stranger smelled good. He's warm. And he's carrying him somewhere. Hector is scared, he realizes that he needs to hiss and scratch and run away, because this is a man, no matter how kind he seems, he can hurt him in the cruelest way at any moment… But he can't. He is so tired. He hopes he will be allowed to eat and wait for the rain to pass before he is kicked back outside.

The noise of the rain suddenly dims, and Hector realizes that they have entered a building of some kind. He curiously pokes his muzzle out from under his jacket and looks around, sniffing. It turns out to be an ordinary entryway, and the stranger walks with him up the stairs to the third floor, stopping by the door and trying to find the keys. Munday turns his attention to his face for now and looks at him curiously. The young man has blond hair and glasses all covered in rain drops, how can he even see anything like that? Well, judging by the fact that he only gets the key in the keyhole the third time, perhaps he sees badly enough. He's also wearing a cap and a scarf, and Hector can't see much else yet. Besides, they're already finally entering the apartment.

The stranger closes the door behind them and sighs in relief. Then he looks down at him and smiles. "You poor thing, you're all frozen, aren't you? Just like me," he says. "That's all right, we'll warm up and eat now. I hope you're not afraid of the water? Ah, silly question… I have some flea shampoo left over from last time, I need to wash you… yes, yes, you are not my first. Actually, I had to give the last cat away… my friend fell in love with it at first sight, I couldn't help giving it to her," he says, taking off his shoes and cap carefully and walking into the bathroom. "But I'll keep you, I guess. If you don't mind," he smiles charmingly, and then gently takes him in his arms, forcing him to unhook himself from his T-shirt. Then the young man puts him in the bathtub. "There you go. And you're calm! That's cool, because last time I ended up with bloody scratches all over my hands," he smiles, gently turning on the shower. Hector looks at it incredulously, but decides not to run away. Besides, the water is very warm, and he's missed it, to be honest. The calm pressure of the shower doesn't hurt him, and the stranger's words are relaxing, though he continues to be wary of being washed with strange shampoo. He didn't have fleas! Silly man. "What a good man you are! I absolutely love it. And your eyes are so smart… I've never seen a cat with brown eyes before, by the way. You're very handsome… I'm sure I'll be convinced of that even more when you're dry," he smiles, trying to rinse the shampoo off him as gently as possible. "My name is Charlie, by the way. Charlie Lonnit. And, as you can tell, I'm very chatty. And probably lonely, since my companion is a stray cat rescued from the street. Well, don't give me that judgmental look, okay? I'm helping you, aren't I?" Charles smiles as he turns off the water and immediately wraps Hector in a towel to dry him off.

Munday tries to be careful, but he is very curious about everything. He hasn't been in a normal human apartment in a long time. And this young man… for some reason he seems harmless. He's so pretty and bright and warm. All his instincts tell Hector that he won't do him any harm. So after letting Charlie dry his fur, he obediently begins to wait for the young man to get everything he needs from the refrigerator and give him food.

Lonnit takes a small plate out of the cabinet and puts some fish in it, dropping the plate on the windowsill, on which Hector immediately jumps. Charlie laughs, but decides to let him eat straight from there, and in the meantime pours some water into another plate. Then he finally goes to change out of his soaked clothes and take a quick shower. While he's gone, Munday finishes his portion and drinks water, and then he stretches and goes to look around the apartment. It turns out to be small but cozy, and Charles has quite a bit of seemingly unnecessary junk. There are also a lot of books and comics, various magazines, newspapers. In the living room, which is combined with the kitchen, on one of the walls, Hector notices a strange map with a bunch of different notes and photographs connected to each other with red threads. He is carefully studying it all, curiously swinging his tail, when suddenly he hears cheerful laughter and immediately turns first his ears and then his muzzle in the right direction. Charles is standing nearby, already changed into his pajamas and slippers. He shakes his head with a smile as he walks over to him and takes him in his arms. Hector snorts, but decides not to scratch him for such willfulness just yet. "You're just like a detective, so focused," Charlie laughs, turning with him so that Hector can get a closer look at everything, which is exactly what the cat does. On one of the white sheets of paper he sees a sketch of some criminal, and next to it on a pink post-it note are some addresses, two of which have already been crossed out. "Well, you really are a detective. Maybe I should call you Holmes. Like it, huh?" Charles smiles, and Hector looks up into his face again. "Oh, absolutely! You'll be Holmes. So handsome… and those intelligent eyes… eh…" he shakes his head. "I won't give you to anyone. No matter how much they ask," he suddenly leans over and kisses his forehead, and Hector blinks a couple of times, feeling a strange longing arise in his heart. He remembers his mother.

She had the same eyes as this Charles…

Charlie cradles him to his chest and strokes him a couple of times as he walks with him into the kitchen. "What a good boy, ate it all! Now I'll eat a bit too and we'll go to bed. And tomorrow we'll go to the vet to check on your health, maybe you need some shots… don't worry, I won't castrate you" he grins at him, putting him on the window sill. Well thank you. "You're a pretty good and calm kitty, I think," he says, opening the fridge and starting to put food for himself now.

He doesn't stop chattering even as he eats, and Hector, who is unused to this, watches him curiously. After dinner, Charles goes to the bedroom and calls Munday after him, and he follows him with a careful, quiet step. Charlie climbs under the covers, leaving the lamp next to the bed on, and takes out a book. The cat jumps on his bed and lies down next to him, looking at him with wide eyes, and Charlie, laughing, decides to read it aloud to him. It turns out to be a book about serial killers, and Hector listens intently, not missing a word, until, after about twenty minutes, tiredness takes over and the gentle voice of the young man with the British accent puts him to sleep, and he curls up and falls asleep, warm and cozy, full and clean, and not alone, for the first time in a very long time.

[dangermousie]

Ep 3

1. Yup, I bet they had a bunch of slashers! I know how fandoms work.

2. Aaaaand they find a literal jar of (possibly orphan) eyeballs! In ep 3. This was the point any sane bunch of people would have followed Ivan’s suggestion and called the cops. (Not that it would have done any good because the Nazis were way high up though.) Hell, they later find their rooms turned upside down and eyeballs taken and the rest of them have had enough (I !!! at Caye and Roque saying they do not want to die young - foreshadowing!) but Marcos and Caro are all “nope, we are still gonna keep up with it.” Marcos I think subconsciously trying to find something to grab on lost adrift due to his parents’ death and Caro...well, she was always a bit rash. Side note - it’s been years but one of the orphan names they find carved and the art notebook is Samuel Espi who turns out to be Hector/Marcos’ uncle and I love that.

3. Ivan being a classist SOB to Maria. He calls her shitty cleaning lady to boot. Kid may hate daddy but the man rubbed off on him a bit much and a lot of instinctive classism and impulsive cruelty is gonna have to be unlearned.

4. Marcos telling Ivan he’s a POS like his father (and this really is a sore point for Ivan - look at his face.) It interesting because the ep starts this way and Marcos is not unjustified in his comments seeing what he’s seen of Ivan so far, but it’s telling that near the end of the ep Maria tells Ivan the opposite - that he’s not like his dad and that what we saw in between those two opposing statements bears her out - Noiret would have never rescued Marcos and Caro. Ivan is a mess and a half but he’s not an unfeeling monster like daddy.

5. Marcos rescuing Ivan. Are they gonna stop digging into dangerous things? Hell no. I do love how consistent the show is about good people being good when push comes to shove. Marcos can’t stand Ivan but of course he won’t let him plummet to his death!

6. The start of bathrooms being a place of choice for romantic rendezvous.

7. When they all comment on Caye’s death (in the game) - they really did give us a metric ton of hints!

8. I am amused that Paola shows up to sleep with Marcos and three teen boys are so used to this by now, they just roll their eyes and move on.

9. Ivan’s face as he realizes Marcos and Caro are missing at the same time so they are probably together. All his insecurities and issues are coming out to play, and he isn’t wrong...

10. Because that is what Marcos and Caro are doing in the well. I got to say, I have little issue with Marcos - he barely knows these people and owes them nothing. But Caro? You have a boyfriend! With no indication that he’s a bad boyfriend or that you didn’t pick him. Jeez. But then this is a girl who after almost dying in the well ends the ep by going out for a shady meeting with a potential lead at night, so thinking things through is not a strong point. And Ivan who located them (smart guy!) and has rushed to the rescue is greeted with the sight of his girlfriend sucking face with another.

11. I remember the first time I watched this, when he walked away, I genuinely thought he was going to leave them in the well. But nope he just went to get the rope he brought with him. (a) Well-prepared and (b) this is the scene that the first time I saw the show made me realize he is a good person. He rescued them with no hesitation because hurt is hurt but life and death are life and death. Hell, he didn’t even say anything much to them.

12. Ivan’s relationship with violence is so messed up. Like when he falls apart over Caro and Marcos, he slams his head into the wall!!! There is a lot of anger and hurt and capacity for emotional cruelty in Ivan thanks to his upbringing and I love that the show never magically fixes it but does it gradually and through not just power of love (though being loved does wonders) but consequences and growing up and learning various truths.

13. Maria finding him and his shields slam down and the way he turns from horrified despair to feral snarl says volumes about his damage and his childhood. And then she refuses to leave and he grabs her by the throat! Jesus.

14. I love Maria’s utter fearlessness but also that is so a mother’s unconditional love - to look at the kid holding you by the throat and worry about his bleeding knuckles. And also that is why Ivan is not like Noiret - even in the middle of his emotional overload, this is a momentary loss of sanity and he’s horrified. His instinct is to go for violence (thanks Daddy!) but then he snaps back to himself and that stops as contrasted with Noiret who sees nothing wrong with violence ever.

15. When she tells him he is not like his father! (And after he’s done arguably the most unhinged and violent thing we’ve seen him do!) He’s so confused by her but also so vulnerable and longs for that. Guuuuuh.

16. Jeez, I forgot, they experimented on Paola. In retrospect, not shocking they turned out to be Nazis. (Am I remembering wrong btw or did Paola end up being a clone of Marcos’ mom...)

[alpaca-clouds]

First Ten Lines

Welp, @axolotlsupremacyowo and @udaberriwrites have tagged me on this little game. The first 10 lines from a few different of my works! So, let me do this.

Also, tag out to everyone who wants to, but especially @kayedium-writes @lena-hills @charley-quinn @junethaliamichael!

Alright. Let's gooooo!

Love Hurts | Fandom: Plaything - The Grand Duke's Boytoy | Dead Dove

When Ilic’s consciousness returned to him, it did not do so in one quick swoop. Instead, it was slowly dawning, as his mind was trying to shake off the dizziness and could not quite do it. He quickly became aware of one thing though: Pain. He was in pain. In considerable pain. His ribs hurt with every breath and he was rather sure he tasted blood in his mouth. The most aggravating pain, however, came from his shoulders and he could not quite place it as his consciousness was dawning, not quite able to process his situation.

When he opened his eyes, his vision was blurred. His surroundings were relatively barren, that much he could say, but still… it was hard to place, with the colors blurring into each other.

Moments | Fandom: Castlevania (Netflix) | Domestic Fluff

Outside the dusk was falling, while in here Trevor was sitting on the bed, holding his daughter. His daughter! He could just not believe it. That this little human being in his arms was his daughter. He was no longer the last Belmont, because there was this miniature human, who was his child. And just like Sypha, she was sleeping peacefully.

No wonder, given the fact that it had been a long and hard birth. Almost ten hours. And Trevor had hated that there was so little he had been able to do. He had not known what he had expected from it, but most certainly not so much screaming and so much blood. It had not been that much blood, but… a lot more than what he had expected.

Paradoxical | Fandom: Castlevania (Netflix) | Hurt/Comfort

Lenore hated it.

Looking at him between the kisses. Seeing that utter devotion in his eyes. He would do anything for her, wouldn’t he? The stupid little puppy. The good little puppy. He kissed her so gently. He gave into her every demand. A simple whispered command was enough to make him comply.

“Strip for me.” 

A Gilded Cage and Clipped Wings | Fandom: Castlevania (Netflix) | Hurt/Comfort

Hector was not entirely sure why he was even following her. He knew, what would happen. A part of him wanted to beg her to go back inside, wanted to beg her to not do it—but he was silent. Not grabbing her hand again, not trying to drag her inside. Not that he would succeed, of course. He knew after all that she was stronger than him. Instead, he just followed her out onto the balcony, leaning against the castle wall, as she went out to the balustrade, her entire demeanor calm.

The sky was alight by now, as the sun was just behind the mountains. And for a moment, she just watched, as those first rays were shining down onto them. Onto the castle.

Under The Cherry Tree | Fandom: Sk8 THE INFINITY | Getting Together

“Wow, this is just in bad taste.” Kaoru crossed his arms in front of his chest, making Kojiro scoff.

“If you don't like it, feel free to stay somewhere else.”

They were standing in front of a building on the outskirts of Kyoto. And yes, admittedly the building most certainly did not scream “Kyoto”. Instead of an old Japanese-style building, it was Western. But not even in the way of many modern apartment buildings. It more looked like something someone packed up in England and transported here for some reason. And while the sky overhead was nice and blue, the house had a sort of eerie atmosphere. Even Kojiro could see that.

Still, he was not gonna take any comments from four-eyes here, who was the one coming towards him with the request.

[levi-of-lesbos]

Hi so this is my first au thing in glee and I have no idea if this has been done before if it has pls reply to this post with it! Id really wanna see it

Okay so

Spoilers for Song of Achilles if you haven't read it!!

Brittana song of achilles au

The hair colours coincide - Brittany is Achilles and Santana is Patroclus

The personalities fit - brittany is free spirited, kind, popular, the vibe (esp at the start of the book) fits with each other, santana is wary of a lot of things, kind of ooc but I've seen a lot of fics portraying santana as quiet but snarky and tbh it kinda fits in canon too, esp when you compare them - Patroclus is quiet but he is loyal as hell and is the only one who dares to talk back to Achilles, he will fight you if needed

The story kinda goes the same, they meet as kids and bond and everything but just to outline

Santana arrives at the palace (?) she's kind of a loner at first, but she doesn't really wanna bother interacting with the other kids (this part is actually pretty accurate to canon imo cause when santana lives in new york she doesn't actually make a lot of friends she just interacts with the same few people, this could be taken to be cause she's a side character but it's a fun look into her personality), brittany on the other hand is very friendly, the new girl catches her eye and she does all sorts of tricks to catch her eye, shes also a very bold character I think, so she def would be the one to make the first move plus be bold enough to ask her father for the new, quiet, murderer kid to be her lifelong closest companion

For the sake of this au we are going to villainise their parents (sorry), and so brittany still gets sent away to chiron and subsequently the place where she has to disguise herself to avoid the war but santana still goes to find her every time

I also think that it would be fun for brittany to say with a grin to santana "what has hector ever done to me?"

Anyway so the war comes, there's the whole thing about achilles losing his innocence and part of what makes us root for him so much in the first place and we know that brittany is portrayed very much as a cinnamon roll in fanon (much like Achilles too tbf) and I think dark brittany would be interesting to see once her view of the world is gone

In this au puck is briseis cause I'm a sucker for puck-santana friendships in fics (I do not support or condone anything m*rk s*lling did irl I just like the character in fanon), the scene where briseis and achilles yell at each other because they both loved patroclus in different ways but they loved him all the same would be cool with Puck and Brittany, the anger between them and the grief would be so good

So anyway santana ofc dies in this, just imagine santana being scared to fight, but she knows that to protect brittany she has to go out and put herself in danger for her because she's the love of her life and she doesn't want her to die, but she ends up getting kind of ahead of herself and gets killed by hector (quick reminder that achilles slept beside patroclus' dead body for days before burning it so just picture that but brittana), brittany hearing the news that a great soldier has fallen and thinking "santana will come back and tell me about it", brittany discovering santanas the one that died and being unable to function afterwards, her innocent and sometimes naive view of the world just falling apart because santana is dead and never coming back, brittany killing hector to effectively kill herself so that she gets reunited with santana, only to arrive in the afterlife unable to find her

Santana on the other hand has to watch brittany grieve for her, unable to do anything to lessen her pain, only to get left behind by the ignorant survivors and has to wait for god knows how many years before she can finally see the love of her life again

So anyway I love angst as you can tell, if someone's done this before pls send links, this is just my take on it, please feel free to add on cause I have no idea where the rest of the glee kids would be in this au, I might or might not add on more stuff afterwards if I have more brainrot so yes

[blackjackkent]

The brain shudders under the final blow of Hector's fists and he feels something deep and vital give with the impact. It howls, a noise of agony and rage that chills him to his soul.

"I----impossible--- ---------PAIN-- --FEAR- ---TERROR--"

It wails, and he watches dispassionately, exhausted, overwhelmed, as it writhes in pain. Even watching the deaths of many of his greatest enemies, he has felt a certain level of regret, or of compassion. But he has none for this thing that has destroyed so much, claimed so many lives and so many more minds...

The pain in his head is tremendous. The brain's pain is his, and his is the brain's. They are still bound even in this moment of its destruction.

"-- reconsider-- -------assess--- -----implore---- ---SURRENDER---"

As if they would even consider it.

"There," Orpheus says hoarsely. "At last. It is subdued."

The brain screams again, desperate bellowing pleas that echo like thunderclaps.

"--SPARE ME-- --JOIN ME------ --WIELD ME----- BECOME ABSOLUTE"

He can feel the demand all through him, the compulsion that grows out of the worm in his head. The desire to evolve as the Emperor called it, to take power, to control.

But he has never wanted it. Even in the darkest moments he has never even considered it as an option.

"And thus I honor my mother's legacy," Orpheus murmurs. He sounds incredibly tired, worn, inexpressibly sad. "The Grand Design, once again, ended by my line."

Narrator: The brain is on the cusp of its final thought. And it's taking all of Orpheus's strength to keep it there. An opportunity perhaps?

(A/N: Obviously Hector isn't at all interested in taking the control option here, but I have to say that just looking at the dialogue choices when they popped up kind of gave me chills.

)

"Go ahead..." Hector whispers. His head is throbbing, tears hovering at the corners of his eyes. It seems almost impossible that after so many months of suffering and struggle, it could possibly be over. He feels Karlach's hand on his shoulder, Jaheira and Lae'zel's presence at his side, and it brings more strength into his voice, greater volume. He speaks more steadily now, fists clenched at his sides. "Command the brain to destroy all tadpoles and the itself."

Orpheus does not respond, but power pulses out from the Netherstones. The brain convulses, seems to curl into itself.

"--- my master--- -i must---- OBEY-- --I must... END"

In the blink between one breath and the next, they are shoved forcibly out of the strange plane where the brain resides. They are back out on the platform where the portal tossed them, and the shock of cold air makes Hector's breath catch in his lungs.

Narrator: Hopes, nightmares, and the screams of legions upon legions of unborn illithids...

Sudden agony. Pain lances through Hector's head, stabs at his temple; it should be familiar, but this is an entirely new kind, like flame, like lightning.

Narrator: The pain rips through you, obliterating all thought, all feeling. Your tadpole burns in your brain.

Just as the pain reaches its peak, blinding him, just as his skull feels like it will collapse... there comes an explosion. The crown shatters apart with a burst of white energy. The platform rocks under his feet. He cries out, feels Karlach grasp his arm hard enough to bruise.

The pain clears. The pieces of the crown fall away. He sits on his knees on the platform that houses the brain, and everything for a moment is blissful, utter silence.

There is nothing within his mind but him. No Emperor, no Netherbrain. None of his friends, bound to him by fate and love and hope, either; it is all gone. It is all over.

A strange sort of panic takes him at not feeling the gentle, everpresent brush of Karlach's presence within his mind; he spins frantically, only relaxing when his eyes settle on her.

She smiles shakily at him. "Did we do it, Hec?" she whispers. "Is it really over?"

He isn't sure he can speak. His heart is still pounding. The whole moment feels unreal.

Narrator: Silence. For the first time in a long time, your thoughts are entirely your own.

Narrator: And then... gravity.

"Oh, hells--" he manages to get out, and then the whole world turns sideways.

In a slow, graceful arc, tumbling, the brain begins to collapse down out of the sky, its spinal cord dragging into the ground, knocking aside buildings and crashing through roads in its headlong careening downwards.

There is no time to make a plan, to reach out to each other, even to cry out-- only to hold on for dear life as the movement threatens to throw them clear into the city. Hector is conscious only of a sudden terrible fear, and the pain in his fingers, and a sort of bewildering frustration--

After all we've been through, there's still THIS?

And then they hit the water.

He's thrown sideways in a stomach-churning arc, hits the surface almost a hundred feet away; the cold shocks through him like a blow and he opens his mouth to cry out, taking an unexpected mouthful of putrid harbor water.

For a long moment the brain floats unmoving. Hector struggles for breath, flailing in an attempt to keep his head from submerging.

And then because, frankly, everything wasn't awful enough, the brain explodes.

-----

Hector is lifted entirely out of the water by the explosion, sent flying another twenty feet, and slapped back down into the surface hard enough to knock the breath out of him again. "Gods, please..." he howls, choking, struggling against the urge to simply sink and not fight it anymore. "Gods, please, no more... let it be done... I have given all, and still it does not end! LET IT BE DONE!"

The water calms. There are no more explosions. In time, his breath returns to him, and he floats quiescent amid scattered bits of flesh and wood.

"Karlach?" he calls weakly. "Karlach, are you there? Jaheira, Lae'zel--"

Silence. His heart stutters in his chest.

Then-- "I'm here, soldier!" He hears a heavy splashing behind him, turns to see Karlach barreling towards him at top swimming speed. Without hesitation, she throws her arms around him, pulls him into her chest to send them spinning lazily through the water, tangled together. Her engine is practically aflame now, he can feel the heat painfully even through her armor, but he doesn't care, and clings to her with exhaustion and relief that makes his heart ache.

In the distance he can hear Lae'zel shouting, and Jaheira even further off.

"We did it..." he whispers. "We did it... we did it and we lived..."

She kisses him, so hard that it almost hurts, her lips crushed to his desperately. "We did it..." she agrees shakily, burying her fingers in his hair. "It's really over... and we lived... you lived... thank the gods..."

[hearsayhorizons]

Thinktober 3: Path

I have loved Mary Henrietta Cassidy for almost half a century across three lifetimes: Orpheus, Hector, Hypatia. She leans over and I lift my head to stare at her despite the way it tweaks my neck. In that eye contact she trades me devotion for dizzying affection.

I considered transitioning early to forestall more comments about her dogs’ longevity. I tell myself I am concerned about what effect repeated manipulations may have on her. I know vague memories of Hypatia’s sad but gentle fading and the acquisition of the next dog won’t hurt Mary, but, truthfully, I hate the puppy stage. Teething is bothersome and being light enough to easily pick up is worse.

It might not matter for all that much longer. Mary ruffles my ears back and forth. “hello, Hyper, hello, Hyper, h—” She pulls away to cough into her arm. I shake myself and launch down from the half-wall where we’d been sitting.

“Hypatia!” Mary stands with less care than she should. Something in her cold-stiff leg creaks, and my resolve hardens. I trot down the path toward the few young oak trees the apartment developers left behind. The slack tightens as I cross off the path amid those few trees. “Hype, stop.” We’ve lived in this complex, oh, seven years, and have never stepped off the path here. “Hypatia!”

The leash goes taut as I lean into the harness. Mary’s footsteps clunk irregularly on asphalt, and then dirt. This will take some care; I need to keep her on her feet, but she is so fragile.

And then we pass into a woods deeper than it ever could have been: three trees become thirty become three thousand become a world. Short and stocky becomes big and bulky. The lack of undergrowth here saves me, but the close press of ancient trees is almost as bad.

But Faerie feels for its own. I’ve not yet begun to panic when things shift and we’re standing in a field of knee-deep amber grass stretching farther than even my eyes can see.

“Hypatia?” Bewilderment in Mary’s face begins to leech into fear as she looks at me: a corgi the size of a pony whose white and orange have become silver and burnished copper. But Faerie’s nature is anesthetic to mortals; her expression softens.

“Oh, Hype. You’re beautiful.” Now she looks up at me. She hugs me around the muzzle like a horse, and I tolerate it. I’d do a lot more for her. “Oh!” She pulls away to look at the field around us. Sprites have come to investigate the newcomers with soft touches and pulses of color. “Oh, Hype. I haven’t seen fireflies in—years. Years!”

If I squint I can see them as she does: smaller, yellow instead of the rainbow, a gentle reminder of summer evenings and few responsibilities. And no pain.

I look at her now: not youthful, but rejuvenated. The Summerlands sun bleached the brown dye from her hair the moment we crossed; it drifts across her face in a gentle cloud as she wades through the grasses. The midday sky gently darkens to twilight with a coolness reminiscent of Mary’s memories. I feel her pang of homesick delight.

For her, anything. I haven’t been a faerie mount in so long, but now I move to her side so that she might sit. “Are you—” As soon as Mary settles I rise, and her words are lost in a peal of laughter. We run and sprites, fireflies, explode from the grasses all around us.

She buries her hands and face in my ruff against the wind. My heart swells so much it aches. I will give her everything. Everything.

I feel her soft affection for the nymphs who rediscover their first human every day. We both delight in Mary’s lack of pain as she dances around a faerie fire with its smoke that drifts against the wind. I cast my big shadow over a mermaid’s pond so that Mary emerges alive with secrets ringing in her ears. We race back and forth across the Summerlands, ferrying sweet words and pollen between two lovelorn dryads.

Somewhere along the way her pink sweatsuit falls to bits and neither of us notice. She roves in a dress of her own hair. When we run, spare tresses flare behind us like a statement, a banner, a testament to Lady Godiva.

Mary stands tall before the two courts in nothing but that hair to argue for the creation of two more courts: many species cannot cope with the heat of summer or the chill of winter. These fae need protection, advocates, and voices. She midwives Titania through the creation of autumnal Maeve, and becomes a bosom confidante for them both.

She watches as I’m anointed as one of the first Autumn fae. Mary beams; her eyes almost disappear in her apple-round cheeks. She dances at the festival that follows, and then is swept from my side by some new Spring lord and his Autumn cohort. Mary always returns to me. We run across the fields, or investigate among younger growths for sweet berries. I grow content and lax.

“Oh... We know this trail. Don’t we?” I heave myself to my feet, but it’s too late; her bare feet already scrape on the asphalt path where none should be. Are the oaks younger than they were? I whine. She cannot hear me. My steps are molasses.

The oaks are thinning: a world becomes three thousand becomes thirty becomes three becomes the smell of grave dust in my nose and silky hair under me. She’s gone. At the same instant I have regressed and I am blind, crying, nesting in her white hair. I have become too young to survive without a mother.

What was instant for her may take me some few days, but I will follow Mary along whatever path is next.

[beevean]

Now I wonder how Carmilla and Lenore would react if they met game Hector and Isaac.

Oh please if only Isaac could sic Abel on them and explode their asses 😭

(yes I know that Abel appears in S4. I don't know what it can do yet. Don't tell me lol)

It's an interesting exercise in thought. The thing is that Hector, at this point, was already questioning Dracula himself. Technically speaking, he would agree with Carmilla's points... but not all of them. "You're in danger because you're human too?" Perfectly fair. "Dracula didn't love his wife enough because he didn't turn her"? That would piss him off. I'd wager that implying humanity is lesser would already be a sore spot for him :P

I also trust him to be intelligent enough to not fall for compliments as basic as "oh you're so talented <3". Unlike N!Hector, he's already the favorite, he doesn't need his self-esteem to be validated. Hmm, but now that makes me wonder how Isaac, the eternal second best and probably quite insecure about it, would react to that...

thankfully his gayness would prevent him for falling for any sexy lady, as the scene with the succubus in the manga shows. he's safe :P

I also said that I think that, were Hector and Isaac friends in the show, Hector could have been less susceptible to manipulation, because he could confide in Isaac. I do believe that at that point they would have grown apart because of Hector's changing morality, but Carmilla is very obviously not an ally that he'd like. Yes she's against Dracula's plans much like he is, but his whole issue with them is "humans don't deserve it", which, well, it's obviously not what she cares about. I'd like to imagine that G!Hector would be smart enough to go to G!Isaac like "I don't trust that vampire lady, we should do something about it".

Funny how N!Hector comes off as more pragmatic and G!Hector as more idealistic, and yet the latter is the better option in this case.

And if Isaac gets the faintest of notions that someone disagrees with Dracula, let alone that they want to cause harm... yeah. No "okay let's do as she says to shut her up" from him.

I would probably try to think how the real Isaac would fare in the show once I finish S4. Ngl, a plotline where he's forced to interact with humans, instead of losing his mind alone in the woods, is actually interesting! In the meantime, the image of Lenore and Isaac in the same room is cracking me up 😂 BDSM energy off the charts fshadfkjhsakjfh

[husbandohunter]

Dottore with short drabble “You only ever brought me pain and I’m sick of it.”

Something angsty pls? Thank you!

Tainted Glass [Dottore x Reader/Genshin Impact]

Synopsis: Can you escape the prison you made?

(A twisted Cinderella story. The girl was covered in cinders because she was fatally addicted to drowning in flames.)

Warnings: angst, emotional abuse, violence, death

(A/n): To be honest anon, I didn’t know what the word ‘drabble’ means until I googled it. I uh...hope you don’t mind the length :> 

-----------------------

You fell back against the cold hard floor with your arms bent and head turned sideways. The stinging pain spreads across your cheek. It burns. But your mind was still trying to register what had just came into fruition. 

Why?

The thought was so foreign somehow as if you could hardly believe he was doing this. But then the scene plays in your head again. You froze, your gaze enlarged and clueless while staring at the pale ground as it slowly begins to darken in the seeping movement of his menacing, haunting shadow. 

"Insolent woman, you wretch!" He spat in a disgusted tone, "How dare you speak to me in such demanding manner? Have I already told you, only talk when you have something important to say?"

You didn't respond, rather you merely let the strands fall in front of your vision as you gingerly pressed your hand against the place where he hit you. 

I…don't quite understand…

Dottore glowers down at your hunched form. He was never a man known for the virtue of patience. This man, the one who calls him your husband, you learned a long time ago to not meet his eyes as they would signal a hint of dominance amidst his authority, especially during moments like these. You came to feel his eyes instead, they were usually intense and full of wrath, sometimes crazed and curious while looking at his finest creations. He always loved experimenting in his labratory. After all, it was the only thing that could truly make the madman smile.

What is it that I'm missing? Where did I go wrong?

And you would do anything to obtain at least a fraction of the love he had left in his heart. 

He marches onward with heavy footsteps, paying no mind to your well-being, "Tch get out of my sight. I don't have the time to entertain with anymore these theatrics."

At the sound of him leaving you darted your attention towards him, "Wait, come back. Come back, " you plea softly, "Hector…" But he ignores your call. The back of your fiance disappears behind the door and slams it with a resounding thud. He was gone. You couldn't save him.

"No," As a result, you burried your face into your palms and cried.

“I'm sorry.”

…

What is love?

Being raised in one of the most prestigious bloodlines of Fontaine, a life filled with riches since your parents were well known scholars throughout Teyvat, they provided you and your family with everything you needed. From exquisite dishes to priceless jewelry, yet even among those riches you never did find an answer to your question. They were tangibles and short-lasting, eventually leaving you with nothing until the glass of your heart was filled empty. They seemed to have cared more about their fortune along with the brightest child of their family line, your brother, a male heir, someone who fulfilled their expectations where you couldn't do so. And because he was able to give them what they wanted, he was loved.

I see, love is conditional.

Realizing that you possessed no talent to achieve what your brother had accomplished, you came to accept that you were undeserving of their love. Love was for the smart. Love was for the gifted.  Love was for everything you are not. There was no place for your kind and thus you locked yourself up in your bedroom chambers along with your fragile heart where no one would try to find you, picking up the books upon the shelves and getting lost in their fantasies. 

They told you many beautiful things about the world and many reasons why it was so tragic. Because they weren't real. The story begins with a princess who was a kind-hearted soul, deprived from the care of her evil stepmother and dreams of marrying a prince from a land far far away. They often end on a happily ever after with the princes finding her one true love. You've never seen anything like it. Where two people, despite the struggles they went through, loved each other unconditionally.

Unconditional love only exists in dreams.

Or so you thought to believe.

One day a man marched right at the doorsteps of your mansion. He was a student coming all the way from Sumeru Academia and had high hopes of building a business partnership with your father. The man was declined of course, you watched from the garden bushes as he was sent off back into his carriage. He stops abruptly and turns his head ajar to catch your figure, his inquisitive eyes were both striking and sharp. Like thorns of a rose that was ready to prick anyone who dares to come close. Even so, they made a very lasting impression.

Red eyes.

It was the first time that someone had looked your way.

Couple of months later, the government had arranged a grand ball where all nobles would gather and commit to building their social circle. Useless events. There was no reason for you to engage. While your parents were occupied with the latest gossips and your brother surrounded by fathers who were eager to marry their daughters to him, you snuck outside to the balcony and hid away from the crowd. Quiet at last. And as things should be. The moon was your only friend because she was just like you; half empty. Maybe that was why you still had a glimmer of hope for the other half to be filled. 

Part white, you inquired, pristine and untainted. From far away it looked similar to snow. 

"My, how pleasantly surprising."

While the other part was stained with black cinders.

You glanced over your shoulder to see a man leaning against the pillar. His mint coloured bangs were slicked back in a trendy fashion, complimenting the white suit he adorned himself with. The golden chains hanging around his ebony boots dangled and clanged with each step he took forward until the light finally reveals his face.

"You seem familiar," you say while squinting your eyes, "Are you the person my father rejected back in February?"

He quirks one brow and you were afraid if you had offended him. But before you could utter an apology, the man splits his lips into a toothy grin and bursts out into a maniac-like laughter. He was completely insane, you thought to yourself. Though he paid no mind to your discomfort and continued to dwell in his amusement, "Hahaha straightforward, I like it! So what if I am? Is it a requirement to be a noble for me to simply have a chat?"

"And if I may ask why?"

"Hmmm, why?" The man reaches for the balcony and presses his back there. He threw his head backward before drilling his ruby gaze into yours, "I too am not fond of annoying crowds. Those snobbish fools thinking they're above everyone else just because they have a couple of mora when that is all they are worth. It's almost too hilarious for my own good."

You could tell there was disdain in his tone. Mainly towards your father who were one of the many unkind nobles of Fontaine and was only liked because of his success. Gripping your hands upon the stone railings, you looked down at the distant trees below while the wind rustled them apart, "I can't deny that," you say dissapointedly, "It's common for nobles not to associate with lower classes as it could potentially ruin their image. Though I may not have been there but I'm sure you had much to offer in terms of your brilliance, erm, Mister…?"

"Hector," Hector placed a palm on his chest with a polite bow following suit, "Hector Dufour-Lapointé. It is a pleasure to make you an acquaintance Lady (Y/n)."

"You know my name?"

"How could I not?" Hector smirks lazily as he danced around you, "I saw you before hiding behind the rose bushes back in your estate. Quite curious why you didn't attempt to say hello."

He even remembers that too. You fiddled with the fabric of your dress, "My apologies. I'm not use to socializing so much."

“Is that so? I think you're not giving yourself enough credit," he complimented while shrugging, "This is much more entertaining than hanging in that insufferably crowded room, it was an unexpected occurence to meet you here of all places. However, I must say time can fly if I'm able to enjoy myself."

You shifted away from his stare, "You flatter me. We've only been talking for a few minutes."

"I have yet to realize it then" Hector's cheerfulness remains at stance despite your gloomy response. He leans forward like a curious child and tosses you a question, "Then allow me to ask, what brings you out here Lady (Y/n)? I don't see any reason when your family are such highly respected people of Fontaine." 

"I'm not like them!" You retort instantly, causing the man to glance at you with skepticism, "I mean, I have nothing to do with them and they have nothing to do with me. That's just how it is. They already have Clement after all…"

Why am I telling him this?

"Ah your brother I assume. Yes so I've heard much about his genius mind. There were a few instances where he and I collaborated at Sumeru Academia," Hector speaks as if regarding to his unpleasant memories, "Although he never said anything about having a sister."

"We're not that close. And I'm not very fond of him," you confessed bluntly.

"Neither am I," Hector agreed with a scowl, "He claims his position using the knowledge derived from history books but never tries to think beyond the norm. That ignorant mindset of his will surely be his downfall one day."

"Ignorance can lead to anyone's downfall. If they turn a blind eye to the truth, so much can be taken from them," you paused shortly from rambling too much, "That's what I read in books at least."

"As expected of your lineage," he sighs whimsically, "Such avid readers."

"Well my family prefers documents and research. I've gone through them too but I will always love reading fiction."

"Ha! Seems you really are trying to be different from the rest of your family."

Seconds turn to minutes and minutes to hours, you had already forgotten about the cold breeze despite your dress being less than ideal for the outdoors. The man, although he can be a little to blathering at times, was more than what seemed to be on the surface. At first you thought of him as someone here to take advantage of your relations to your father but he seemed so sincere when listening to your stories, so eager while expressing his thoughts and even made you laugh a couple of times. You didn't realize that the clock had already struck twelve as the guests were preparing to leave but you just weren't ready to do the same.

"Until next time (Y/n)," he takes your fingers and pressed a kiss on top of them, though you were more struck by how he addressed you without honorifics, "I look forward to speaking with you again."

A warm smile graces your lips as you cursty, "Likewise Hector. Thank you for listening to me. I know I must have taken a long time."

Hector sneered but you already learned that it was simply his way of expressing amusement, "Hardly. I was thoroughly entertained."

When your parents found out about your meeting with him, they made it clear that you would never see him again. Hector Dufour-Lapointé is what he calls himself but the real name behind this man was Hector Valliere who came from a village hidden in the west of Fontaine. Rumours said that he was chased out of his hometown by an angry mob, claiming him to be a madman conducting unethical experiments on humans. Shortly after his arrival in Sumeru, he abandoned his past identity and replaced it with a new one in order to enter the academy under legal supervision. Associating with a man of a suspicious reputation would only cause harm to your family's name. Though you could barely care much about their reputation. There was nothing for you to benefit from it.

Few weeks have passed and you evetually gave up on the thought of hearing from Hector. They were only fleeting moments, nothing more. Your routine would stay the same as you kept on plucking more books off the shelves, killing whatever time you had. However the activities you used to enjoy somehow lost it's flair and there would be a slight pain in your chest whenever you turn to a page with the princess as she is surrounded by her friends. What exactly changed? Your family still treated you the same. Did you suddenly grow bored from doing the same thing everyday? Why is it that you feel much more lonelier despite being alone for so long? It was hard to tell in a singular perspective. If only there was someone here to give you some insights on things you couldn't see…

A silver bird lands by your front window and you nearly fell out of your chair as it flapped their wings violently. A machine?! They dropped what seems to be an envelope within the thick bushes before taking off and buzzing into the evening sky. You switched off the lock and lifted the glass within a single movement, snatching the piece of paper so that the wind wouldn't blow it away. Hastily you opened it. Both curious and cautious of why would anyone send you mail in such a discreet approach.

Chère Mademoiselle (Y/n),

I can only imagine the shock of your expression once reading this letter. I'm only writing to you since I assume that your father had already told you those nasty rumours about my past. No matter. I trust that you have a good head on your shoulders to not prejudge people using such miniscule details. I wish to speak with you again. Unless you have other plans staying in that stuffy room of yours, meet me behind the clock tower at 11:00 p.m. Don't be late.

Bien à vous,

H.

"It really is him!" The happiness spreads all across your features as you clutched the letter to your chest. For some reason, your heart wouldn't stop racing. It was a simple yet thoughful action on his part but despite how short his greeting was, every word held the weight of a thousand sparks, "I…I can't stop smiling."

And without hesitation, you prepared to leave. No one noticed your absence.

-------

It was only halfway where you realized that Hector didn't give many details redgarding why he planned this sudden event. You caught sight of him standing under the roofs with his hands hidden behind his back. He had on his signature lopsided grin, brows uneven as he glanced at you casually.

"How very punctual, were you so eager that you couldn't wait?" He teases.

"I was surprised when your bird knocked upon my window," you inform, "Is it something urgent?"

"Not at all. I merely wanted to catch up with old times," Hector tilts forward to emphasize his suggestion, "Care to indulge me for a bit?"

You crossed your arms, "Then what is it that you're hiding behind your back?"

"Hmm?" He hums, "You mean this?"

"Ah!"

Roses. A bouquet of bright red flowers were presented to you, nicely wrapped in fabric. In the language of Fontaine, recieving them could mean multiple of things and you couldn't help but feel hesitant despite his thoughtful gesture, "Why are you giving me this?"

"Is it so wrong for me to be a gentleman? I thought it would be best to prepare you a gift after you put all that effort to come out in such a late hour," Hector mused to himself, "Especially when you had to make sure no prying eyes would catch us."

You let out a small laugh before accepting the bouquet, "I wouldn't go as far to say that."

"Oh?" Although it was hard to see, Hector managed to catch a glimpse of your flushed cheeks hidden behind the flowers. A darken smirk climbs onto his face at the inviting thought of what it could mean, "Tell me more."

The whole night you both spent walking around the empty plaza with only the stars as your guide. They paved a silver path reflected in the horizon above, free flowing like one of the many watercolour paintings hung in your chambers, uncertain where they may lead but you followed them regardless. If it weren't for Hector's inivtation you might have never known about the parts of your city due to the restricted lifestyle you lived. He listened to every one of them. The stories you had to tell when there was no one for you to talk to and the complaints about your brother whenever he wanted to snitch on your actions just to get the praise out of your father. You expressed your frustrations when speaking about your incompetences, joy after reading a good fairytale book written by your favourite author, there was so much to say that you were worried if Hector soon grew tired from them.

"Go on. I'm listening."

And your heart flutters again. Suddenly everything felt so light with each step you took, it was as if you walked across the stars in the sky rather than the heavy pavement of the ground you called your home. But even if happiness was a bliss, it tormented you. Because companionship made you realize how poor your were all along. That you had everything yet you had nothing, slowly withering away like the roses you held in your hand. Convinced that your existence was worth nothing more than nothing itself. Doomed to be dismissed and forgotten. Rotting away...Hector stays by your side as you cried softly into the night.

From a distance the bell rings and echoes just like the time before during Fontaine's grand ball. Hector shows you a secret route so that no one could find you.

"Will you write to me again?"

The request was so innocent, purely from genuine intentions and devoided of anything he had in mind. Hector would always laugh in these situations when things have gone unexpectedly yet pleasingly his way but held back knowing that it would be foolish to waste such a priceless opportunity. And so he gave you his smile, one full of secrets where you had mistakened it as a promise, "Of course my dear."

Every night you could no longer fall asleep since he had occupied your thoughts completely. Sometimes you'd dream of him and their tales would unfold similarly to the ones you have read. It gone to the point where the maids would have to wake you up during late afternoons due to the dramatic change in your sleep schedule. Though, you didn't care what they did to you. As long as no one found out about your secret rendezvous.

You never thought that there'd be a day where you would voluntarily give up reading your beloved fairytales. They were now replaced by a stash of his letters that have been accumulated over the past few months. You read them each day, pacing back and forth within the walls of your room, whispering his sentences as if he were the one saying them to you. He made you feel special. You were addicted to this feeling. Eventually you managed to memorize his words by heart. 

The pages of your diary were filled with notes. Like your very own  fairytale carved into reality. From the rose petal, now dried, to the hairpin he snatched from a distracted merchant and a single strand of his hair you found within your cloak after a warm embrace, all of these items, a remnant of the man you loved were taped up in these pages. Sometimes you could even feel his prescence because it was all you needed. It didn't matter if Clement threw insults about how worthless your existence was, your parents could lock you in this prison if they wanted to but they shall never take away Hector from you. Never. You swear it. He was your whole world and the prince who saved you from a life made of aching emptiness. You would do anything to keep him by your side. Anything to gain his affection.

Anything.

"I had a feeling that you were the culprit dear sister."

Your arms stutters as they clutched tightly on the scrolls you took off from the shelves. The light crept into the room like arms reaching out to clutch around your ankles, warning you for trespassing. You turned around dreadfully to see Clement pressing his shoulder against the doorframe with his arms folded and a wicked expression aimed at your pitiful state.

"Why…Why are you still awake?" You say in disbelief, "I thought everyone was asleep."

"Please. Not only are you shameless but hypocritical as well. You truly are a dissapointment to our family."

"Wait," taking a step forward, you stopped him before he makes his exit, "I'll put them back. Just don't tell father about this."

But like your parents, your brother was unkind. Clement doubles over and hugs his torso, cackling through his teeth, "Is that how it is?" He swipes his arm up and you see a parchment paper held between his fingers. 

"No!"

"Ma chérie (Y/n). I must say all this tenacious effort of sneaking in my letters to your window is becoming more and more tiresome. But of course, you are an exception. I want the scrolls you've mentioned the other day at my lair tomorrow evening. Make sure no one discovers this. I'm counting on you. Cordialement! Hector."

"No…" you whispered, feeling the weight of the world fall upon your shoulders as it shattered apart. Hector. If possible, you hoped that the pieces could just crush you right then and there. Your knees felt weak and a fright takes over but despite your turmoil, Clement didn't show a shred of sympathy.

"So this is why you've been acting odd lately. Pathetic," he flaps the paper tauntingly in his grasp, "I can't decide if I should be impressed or baffled by your actions. A secret romance with a criminal and the bloodline of Fontaine's most respected government associates? Even though you've hit rock bottom, you still decided to dig deeper."

"Clement you don't understand!"  Stumbling upon your footsteps, you desperately tried to convey your predicament even if it meant feeding his ego, "Hector is not the man you think. He was shunned by the people of his hometown, treating him as if he were nothing. They…They ignored him! All this time he needed someone to recognize his brilliance, someone to understand." Shakily, you brought your tensed arms to your chest and screamed a silent whisper, "Someone to listen but no one did. He must have felt so alone…"

Clement flinches when you suddenly clutched onto his biceps. When he looked into your eyes, a shiver ran down his spine.

"Hector is counting on me. I'm the only one who can save him. No one else. He needs me Clement, he needs me!" 

"Tch."

An ear-splitting scream of his hand against your face echoes across the room. It knocked you out of your stance and you bumped into the table, grunting while the scrolls to tumbled to the floor.

"Crazy woman, I'm embarassed to be related to you!"

While you were still trying to regain your balance, your brother had already ran off. It wouldn't be long before he alerted your parents, the clock ticking away like sand until the final hour leaves you with nothing but an empty glass. 

"No," despair swallows the strength away from your legs and you crawled towards where he used to stand, "Don't take him away from me…I need him…"

I can't live without him.

I can't live without him.

I can't live without him.

Tears begin to form by the corners of your eyes as you clenched your teeth. This was no time to cry. Balling your fists, you sprinted out of the room, pushing whatever stood in your way as if you were running for your life. 

And if you considered everything else, it wasn't that far from the truth.

-------

"Hector! Hector are you there?" After arriving upon his house, you began knocking on his door aggressively. The lock clicks and you were greeted by an evidently annoyed man gnawing his teeth together.

"Tsk. There better be a good reason-"

"They're coming for us! We have to go. Now. Before it's too late. My father is probably already waking and making arrangements for you to-"

"Enough, I can't even catch what you're saying," He pinches the bridge of his nose while you were still stuck in a frenzy state. He takes a step back and opens the door wider, gesturing for you to come inside, "Get in already. I have a feeling that this will be a long night."

Hector observes intently at the words you tell him.

Not out of concern but akin to the way he watches the insects react when he exposes them to a different environment.

He was a scientist after all. A madman in which you deliberately fell in love with, so much to the point that he was able to feel pity for once. How you trusted him wholeheartedly with all of your vulnerabilities, emotions and secrets like handing him your parts just so he could put you back together again. Tinkering was always one of his favourite hobbies and he couldn't help but feel a twisted sense of pride at the thought of you being completely wrapped around his finger. 

Perhaps that was the reason why he loved you. Because he didn't love you. He loved you in parts.

"It was only a matter of time," Hector sighs. He sneaks his grasp into yours, knowing how much it affects you and puts on an invisible mask of deciet, "I already knew this day would happen long before anyone could have predicted it."

"You did?" With worried eyes you gazed at him, "What shall we do then?"

Knowing he hit the target, his lips begin to curl up towards his ears, showing his sharp white teeth that shone against the dim-litted room. Hector asks, "Do you love me?"

A silly question. You didn't hesitate to answer, "Of course I do. I've said it many times."

"Prove it to me," Forcing his forehead against yours, Hector commands in a dangerously low tone, "Kill your brother and only then you can truly be mine."

Your brain sutters, trying to absorb what he had just said. Kill? As in to take a life? It sounded wrong. But...was it wrong if the life belonged to someone who ruined yours?

Dumbfoundedly, you glanced into the bloody orbs of your lover, his black pupils thinning into knives while burning in the hellfire of his true colours. Hector runs a hand from the scalp of your hair, down to your cheek before gingerly sliding his fingers at your jawline. He pulled you close and whispered into your ear.

"Are you scared?"

Ah, this wasn't about your feelings. This was about him and your future and there could be no future you without him by your side.

You let your eyelids drop and leaned into his touch, "I could never be scared of you Hector. Whether it is within my power or not, I will make sure no one gets in our way. I swear it."

"Good," he continues to have you feed on his affection, "I knew I could count on you."

-----------

The news of your brother's death filled every headline Fontain had to offer. He was driven off a cliff while making a trip towards Sumeru. No one survived. The remains were so crushed to the point that authorities had trouble identifying their bodies. The only explanation they could come up with by observing the leftover tracks was that the horse must have gone out of control and ended up dragging the carriage along with it.

Ha. Serves him right.

Food poisoning. The vial Hector made was very effective. You made sure to bury it away from your mansion.

With no other choice, you became your family's next heir. Hector notifies you that he would be away for several months to solidify a unique connection with a man hailing from Snezhnaya. You didn't think he would arrive at your doorsteps with so much authority. Fatui soldiers followed from behind as the staff paved a way for them to enter. Your father was clearly displeased by his outrageous approach but he knew he was in no place to deny.

"Upon the agreement between Fontaine and Snezhnaya, Lady (Y/n) will become Harbinger Il Dottore's wife," the Duke announces, "This news will be publicly announced at the end of October."

Dottore? Is that what he calls himself?

As if claiming his victory, Dottore shoots your father a devilish smile. You could feel the dining table shake when he kept pressing his fist against the smooth surface, begrudingly congratulating you both for the new engagement. Your mother bursted into tears.

Was it worth it?

You watched both of your parents mourn silently in their own manner. Perfectly knowing that you were the main cause. But you weren't able to feel any sadness because in the end, you now had everything you've ever wanted. 

The inheritance.

Their attention.

But most of all, him.

And when you were convinced that this was your happily ever after, that fairytales were not just beautiful lies for the sake of comfort, you didn't realize  you were already living a life made of beautiful lies conjured by your own mind for the sake of your own comfort. 

"You're nothing without me."

Dried and calloused hands squeezed around your throat as you flailed your legs against the soft fabric of the carpet floor. He encases you in a straddling position, enjoying the sight of your tortured and clenched face. Hector…no, Dottore hated it when you disobeyed him. He despised it when his creations don't work the way he wanted them to and he had no use for things that are broken.

"G-hka--k..-"

"How many times do I have to remind you to not use my birthname. Do those ears of you even function properly? Or must I fix them myself?"

You gasped for air when he relaxed his grip. Vision a blur, you coughed a few times before he pulls your arm so that you lay flushed against his chest.

"Don't forget who saved you dear (Y/n). Because of me you were able to escape that miserable life you've despised for years. I expect the utmost gratitude on your part at all times, it is only fair that I punish you for not meeting my requirements, don't you agree?" Dottore lifts his hand up to pinch your cheeks, pulling your head to stare at your eyes, "After all, there is no one else in this world who can put up with you…but me."

His words were poison in which you drank like a woman starved. It made you feel numb to the pain the more you drowned in their alluring scent, the taste was sweet, a remedy for the bitterness of reality where the man of your dreams was nothing but a cruel monster. You came to believe that the reason why he treated you so harshly was because he was scared of losing you. You were caught in the trap of what seemed to be love and devotion when truly, you were just a toy to be used at a means end. He breaks you and he puts you back together, over and over again, filling in between the cracks formed in your glass heart with the phrases you loved to hear. Just like how he filled the other holes of your life where no one else did. You called it kindness. He saw it as entertainment.

Most people pay attention to the flower's beauty but they never acknowledge the thorns hidden beneath it's blossom.  That is why they bleed. They get hurt. Though, you didn't mind shedding blood if it was for his sake.

Because you would do anything for him.

You would do anything to bring back the memories of Hector Dufour-Lapointé and save him from the Harbinger that ruined his life. Your life. It wasn't his fault. You knew you could change him to what he was before because you were in love with him, that he might still in there. Somewhere.

Right?

…

Please come back.

Time continues to flow like the tears of your dying heart despite yearning for it to turn at the past. Dottore already left the room a long time ago but you didn't. Raising your head away from your hands, you peered at the door in front of you, begging desperately through a chanting record of despondence. 

Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back.

Images, they slipped through your fingers, slowly becoming more distant until your mind began to see them as illusions. Dreams. Things that were not real. Telling you that your life was a lie. 

"Come back to me…Hector."

Because the man you loved was withering in your memories and you couldn't do anything to save him.

A dry croak robbed you of your breath as you turned to look in the mirror.

Worthless. You were always worthless, it was what your parents told you since birth. It was what you became when he wasn't at your side because without him, your existence was worthless. You lied for him, you stole for him you, took a life for him. You destroyed yourself for him to point that it was hard to believe you were even looking at yourself.

Worthless. It's who I am.

And despite it all, you couldn't obtain his love.

(Crack).

Worthless things don’t deserved to be loved.

(Crack. Crack).

But what if it’s because I’m worthless, that he won’t love me back?

(Crack).

Your eyes jolted open, causing you to gasp sharply. When the sweet lies dispersed in your head and cleansed you of deceit, everything started to make sene. You came to realize why your wish was impossible all along.

Dottore...no, Hector, the reason wasn't because he didn't return your feelings. Neither was it due to the fact that he hurt you through his actions. Nor when he made you cry or scream for help before feeding you with more lies, thinking he would never hurt you again. It was none of those things.

It was because the man you loved this whole time was someone who could love no one but himself.

"Ha...haha," sucking in your breath, a sinister laugh escapes your mouth, "Hahahahahahaha.....!"

Everything was worthless.

You grabbed a nearby hairbrush and threw it at the mirror, watching yourself shatter into a million pieces.

There was only one thing left to do. 

------

"Ugh, where is it?!"

It was late into the night where every staff had gone to sleep. The Harbinger fumbles with his keys while standing at the door of his basement as he was too busy proceeding with his research rather than considering the thought of rest. Usually he acted upon them on his own will, performing various experiments for enjoyment. However, ever since the Snezhnayan court had requested him to look into the ancient arts of alchemy, Dottore was forced to carry it out before the deadline approached. Otherwise his position as Harbinger would be revoked.

"What a bunch of self-centered blockheads. Can't they understand that it take quality time to get quality results?"

Most of his important documents were stored on the otherside. Half of it came from his father-in-law's library. He had you to thank for that.

"Ah finally," he mutters, though still dissatisfied, "I should have a word with my butler for misplacing them."

Dottore shoves the key into the lock but instead of twisting the knob he noticed something strange. It was old and had yet to be fixed but somehow he didn't have any trouble adjusting his wrist. Then he saw there were a set of freshly made fingerprints upon the smooth metallic surface. However, the only person awake at this time would be him-

An intruder!

Dottore drops everything to the ground and yanks the door open. He skittered down the stone stairs while cursing under his breath. Using the delusion gifted by the Tsaritsa, the Harbinger activated his lazer-like pillars as he took advantage of their glow to light up the unlit room.

"What in the abyss...?!"

Except it wasn't dark.

"All of these scrolls, I recognize them," without sparing a single glance, you spoke nostalgically towards the bookshelves, "It brings me so much memories..."

Dottore clenches his teeth together as his eyes shone an angry red, you were holding a torch dangerously close to his hard-earned collection, "What do you think you're doing?!" He fumed, "Put that out, AT ONCE! Don't make me repeat myself!

"They're precious to you aren't they?" You finally shifted to face him, "More than me."

"What has gotten into you?" He was about to hurl at you until he saw your torch lowering, causing him to retreat. You were strangely noncholant and he couldn't help the feeling of disturbance. Accepting that he didn't have the upperhand, Dottore decided to use a different approach, "(Y/n)."

The sound of your name falls from his lips. You faltered.

"I'm sorry for what I have done. I know I was dishonourable to you, as your husband and lover, and that you didn't deserve to see me so aggressive. You have every right to express your anger, my dear. I was in the wrong."

It was only a mask. You knew it well. But seeing him with softened eyes and a tone so comforting, made you desperately wanting to run into his arms so he could wipe away your sorrows just like once upon a time. To live happily ever after.

Hector.

Dottore runs his fingers through his hairstrands in frustration and sighs, "However the Tsarista needed me to do something very important and I can't seem to fulfill her request no matter how hard I try. It angers me. If I don't finish this, there would be no place for us to stay."

"Hector..." you sniffled quietly. He looks so much like him right now.

"Can't you see I'm doing this for you?" He consoles, yet his weapons still remain, "I only intended to make you happy and there's nothing I won't do to achieve that. How about I show-"

"Enough."

Dottore froze upon your sudden command. He didn't sense a hint of subjugation and it seemed that you had perfect control of your emotions. How very inquisitive. Did you grow immune to the style of his voice? In such a short period of time? The facade he had on was now replaced with a growling animal-like expression. You looked at him dissapointedly. His Harbinger self returned. Hector was no more.

"Ha, you're the same as always. Even before the time you became a Harbinger. The same man that I fell in love with but it is me who will never be the same again," For a moment you averted your gaze as if trying hard to swallow your own words, "Remember when we first met at the balcony? That I told you my favourite books to read are fiction? I knew they weren't real but deep down, I wanted to believe in them anyways. And you know what? They did come true, to some degree..."

As the memories come flashing back, he defenselessly watches your expression contort from sadness to a calm contemplation and finally, enraged disgust, "But you only ever brought me pain and I'm sick of it!"

Swaying the torch to the side, Dottore flinches forward but he didn't dare to come close when your current state was unpredictable to him, "I JUST WANTED YOU TO LOVE ME," you wail, I just wanted to be loved, bringing a clawed hand against your forehead and trembling upon contact, "It's all that I ask for..."

Dottore narrowed his brows. Perhaps he may have gotten too far.

"But I know it's impossible. The world is a cruel place and there's no point in trying anymore. That is why I'm going to set us free."

"...What do you mean?"

You shut your eyes closed and tossed the flaming torch to the ground. A horrified expression takes over his features. It didn't take long for the fire to begin spreading amongst the room.

"NO!" Dottore yelled powerfully, he frantically darts his gaze at all directions as they continued to flicker and blend into his precious documents. You stood still and watched him grab the ones that were intact, savouring the most he could but they slip out of his arms every time he moved. Dottore glances behind him to see a rising cage of hellfire. Then he turns to you.

" 'Til death do us part!" you laughed maniacally.

The madman looked back with angry dismay, "You're out of your mind!"

Abandoning whatever he held in his hand, Dottore spins around towards the staircase. He covers his face with his sleeve and did whatever he could to prevent the fire from touching him. However, he accidentally stumbled on his footsteps and something fell off the heights, knocking him in the face. He grunts painfully.

"That will leave a scar," you smile while he clutches at his injury, "I can break you too.”

Just like how you broke me.

Knowing that you've managed to leave a mark of your existence on him in someway, you peacefully watched your lover wobble between the hell you created. But the hell you knew was not made of scorching heat and thundering flames. Hell was empty. Hell was a void. This feeling was far too gentle to be considered hell. If he can't return your love, then at least let these caging arms bask you in the warmth you’ve always desired.

Lifting your head, you looked towards the ceiling and closed your eyes.

Ah, this cannot be death.

[hellomynameisbisexual]

Since the very conception of the motion picture, the LGBT community have been represented on-screen in some form. An early example is Algie the Miner (1912), a short silent film which follows the effeminate Algie (Billy Quirk), who enjoys kissing cowboys. In order to marry someone’s daughter, he heads west to prove that he’s a man. While this is quite an outdated stereotype of being gay, the portrayals have varied greatly over time. Only recently is LGBT representation becoming more positive and common. However, when it comes to portraying bisexuality on-screen, it still seems to be a difficult task.

Many narrative tropes have been birthed through filmmakers trying to show sexuality on-screen and most of them contribute directly to the overall erasure of bisexuality in cinema – usually with ambiguous portrayals, negative stereotyping and characters needing to pick a side. Not all instances are problematic, but their prevalence isn’t helping to combat the stigma that bisexual people face. There are three main tropes when it comes to depicting bisexuality, which is infidelity, picking a side, and the horrible husband. They’re usually found together in a common narrative that erases bisexuality, whether intentional or not.

Infidelity

There’s a long-standing stereotype that bisexual people are more likely to cheat on their partners and are incapable of commitment. This is a trope that is heavily carried in some of the most well-known depictions of bisexuality. Typically, a female protagonist is engaged or married to a man, but she meets a lesbian woman and they become involved sexually and romantically, leaving the protagonist torn between two lovers. This happens in Imagine Me & You (2005) when Rachel (Piper Perabo) falls in love with lesbian flower shop owner Luce (Lena Headey), who provided the flowers for her wedding to Hector (Matthew Goode). It’s a fairly average film that could’ve been amazing had it acknowledged Rachel’s bisexuality, but it’s still one of the better ones considering Perabo and Headey have amazing chemistry.

For some reason, bisexual characters are often in serious relationships when they’re suddenly sexually awakened. This happened to Rachel right after her wedding because she happened to meet the right woman. While this type of experience does happen in real life, it’s always the go-to narrative for films about women realizing they’re not one-hundred-percent straight. In these instances, the same-sex love affair acts as the conflict within the narrative – this can create good drama when done right, but it gets boring and bisexual characters deserve better than constantly being portrayed as cheaters. People are not more promiscuous or likely to cheat on their partners because of their sexuality, but these tropes are constantly telling people otherwise.

We deserve to see bisexual characters whose sexuality isn’t the main narrative focus or who at least explore their sexuality outside of a relationship. Appropriate Behaviour (2014) is a good example of this as Shirin (Desiree Akhavan, who is also the film’s writer and director) is a bisexual Persian American woman who is keeping her sexuality a secret from her judgemental family, while also attempting to rebuild her life after breaking up with her girlfriend. Seeing bisexuality portrayed on-screen is another place where people pick up more stigma or acceptance, and with bisexuality it, unfortunately, seems to be the former. This is why bisexual filmmakers like Akhavan are better suited to portraying the experiences of bisexual men and women than others.

Picking A Side

When the protagonist is in conflict with her sexuality, the people around her usually wonder if she’s a lesbian now – despite them being engaged or married to a man. This can be seen in Below Her Mouth (2010) where Jasmine (Natalie Krill) begins having an affair with Dallas (Erika Linder). When her husband finds out, he tells her “You’re a lesbian” but she tells him that she loves him and nothing has changed between them. It seems impossible to grasp that a person could be attracted to both men and women. Bisexuality is erased.

Some films insinuate that the protagonist isn’t necessarily bisexual or even a lesbian, it’s just that they’re attracted to this one woman only and no others – they’re an exception! This is the kind of impression you get from Below Her Mouth, but also from other films such as Imagine Me & You and Elena Undone (2010), which isn’t particularly helpful for lesbian representation either. In Imagine Me & You, Rachel tells Hector “You are my best friend. That was enough before, and it will be enough again.” This implies that Rachel was never truly attracted to him in a romantic sense, thus implying that she’s a lesbian. While this could be a case of compulsory heteronormativity, it seems problematic as it’s never discussed or explained. Avoiding discussions about sexuality – as most of these films do – are what contribute to this trope massively and result in misinterpretation and erasure.

Films as new as Netflix’s Alex Strangelove (2018) also feed into the idea that bisexuality is a stepping stone to picking a side. Alex (Daniel Doheny) prepares to lose his virginity to his girlfriend but finds his plans derailed when he’s attracted to another boy. He spends most of the film questioning his sexuality and at one point thinks he’s bisexual. The film does highlight biphobia which brings attention to this problem, so it’s disheartening at the end when Alex realizes he is gay and not bisexual after all. The set up for Alex Strangelove was perfect for a bisexual love story and, while it’s still positive LGBT representation, it’s a shame it didn’t stick with that. It’s even rarer to see bisexual men portrayed on-screen, so it would’ve been really rewarding.

It’s important to acknowledge that bisexuality is a comfortable place for some people to be while they’re trying to accept that they are gay – and there’s nothing wrong with that. However, there still seems to be some widespread discomfort when it comes to sexuality being fluid. For bisexual people, there isn’t any side to pick – they’re not torn between polar opposites, nor are they confused. They aren’t on the fence, they’re on both sides of the fence. Nevertheless, films continue to portray bisexuality as a personal conflict that needs resolving, and it does this by putting bisexual characters in a situation where they’re having affairs. This makes their sexuality the narrative conflict, which is wholly problematic in itself.

The Horrible Husband

The protagonist’s fiancé or husband is usually abusive or passive in the relationship, and thus portrayed as the antagonist. She is then drawn to a lesbian woman who treats her so much better and gives her the attention she deserves. Sometimes it’s as though these films are saying that lesbianism is the cure for a dissatisfying heterosexual relationship. This contributes to bisexual erasure by suggesting that bisexual women can only be happy with women and never with a man because they’re horrible or not good enough. It also perpetuates the idea of picking a side – almost telling bisexuals that they should just be lesbians instead.

This trope is found in films like Elena Undone, where Elena (Necar Zadegan) meets Peyton (Traci Dinwiddie) who is a famous lesbian writer. Elena’s husband Barry (Gary Weeks), however, is a homophobic pastor. Elena Undone is actually loosely based on director Nicole Conn’s real-life romance with Marina Rice Bader, but the film itself isn’t great. It’s also shown in The World Unseen (2007) as Miriam (Lisa Ray) quietly follows the customs of 1950s South Africa, alongside dealing with her abusive husband Omar (Parvin Dabas). Miriam becomes empowered to change her circumstances when she meets and falls in love with free-spirited cafe owner Amina (Sheetal Sheth).

A much better film that deals with this trope is Bound (1996). Lesbian ex-con Corky (Gina Gershon) arrives at an apartment building to start work as a painter and plumber. She soon finds herself being seduced by Violet (Jennifer Tilly) who lives next door with her boyfriend Caesar (Joe Pantoliano). Violet explains that they’ve been together for five years and he’s a money launderer for the mafia. She wants to escape and make a new life for herself, so she and Corky plan to steal $2 million of Mafia money and blame it on Caesar. The horrible husband trope actually works well in this film because the women plan to screw Caesar over and it doesn’t use Violet’s infidelity as the main narrative conflict – it’s a lot more original, which isn’t surprising as the first directorial feature film from the Wachowski Sisters. Bound would’ve been much less effective if Caesar was just a regular guy who Violet hated, but she has a better motive with the drama surrounding his violent mafia connections.

These three tropes are collectively the entire plot of Imagine Me & You, Elena Undone, The World Unseen, I Can’t Think Straight (2008), Kiss Me (2011) and more. It’s a shame that there isn’t always a huge focus on the actual relationship between the two women in these films. It’s more about them hiding their relationship and because they officially get together at the end, we never get to see much of what their life is like as a couple. They all feature very similar themes, meaning that when it comes to telling the stories of bisexual characters, the narrative is rarely diverse. Romantic comedies in general always follow the same beats which is fine, but these tropes for bisexual characters either erase their sexuality and/or display it as a problem.

These tropes can still work well (like with Bound) depending on certain aspects of the narrative. Infidelity works well in Carol (2015) due to the 1950s setting. Carol (Cate Blanchett), who is in the process of divorcing her horrible husband, and Therese (Rooney Mara) have to hide their relationship due to homosexuality not being accepted during this time. This adds an extra layer to the narrative, giving actual depth to why things are happening the way that they are. There’s also Disobedience (2017) where it works well due to the Orthodox Jewish culture. Ronit (Rachel Weisz), who is considered bisexual, returns to the community for her father’s funeral to find her childhood friend Esti (Rachel McAdams) married to a man. Esti describes herself as a lesbian woman in a relationship with a man, which is disheartening but works in the film’s world. Disobedience also plays through the infidelity trope very differently to other films, allowing it to be more effective.

The Erasure

In films with bisexual characters, it’s rare that the word “bisexual” actually comes up. It’s mostly ambiguous, implied or erased completely by the protagonist seemingly picking a side. It’s constantly reinforced by narrative tropes that are set up for dramatic entertainment, with no real intention of representing sexuality with genuine care. Erasure also happens due to words like “gay” being used as an umbrella term when referring back to certain films. Brokeback Mountain (2005) and Call Me By Your Name (2017), for example, are often referred to as gay films on social media due to the gay relationships portrayed, However, the characters are portrayed to be sexually fluid/bisexual due to the nature of their relationships with women. It also happens with films like Blue Is the Warmest Colour (2014) which is always painted as a lesbian love story when Adèle (Adèle Exarchopoulos) is clearly bisexual. It’s not necessarily bad to use gay and lesbian as umbrella terms, but it, unfortunately, does contribute to bisexual erasure. We should be bringing more attention to bisexuality on-screen and pointing it out specifically when we see it.

One of the biggest erasures is the portrayal of bisexual men. They appear much less frequently than bisexual women. The most recent example that comes to mind is Jake Gyllenhaal’s character in Velvet Buzzsaw (2019), but the word bisexual was never used and he was portrayed as being promiscuous, which fits into the negative stereotype (although the film is satire so perhaps it can be excused). Some better, or at least more interesting, depictions of bisexual men are still out there and can be found in films such as Velvet Goldmine (1998), Kaboom (2010), The Comedian (2012), The Lobster (2015) and Moonlight (2016).

If anything, bisexual characters are usually left out of the bury your gays/dead lesbian syndrome trope. It’s very common both in film and television for gay men and lesbian women to be killed off in some dramatic way, such as in Brokeback Mountain, The Fox (1967), Les Biches (1968), Lost and Delirious (2001) and A Single Man (2009). Bisexual women have been killed off quite a bit in television – like Marissa Cooper (Mischa Barton) in The O.C. – but they’re relatively safe in film and hopefully, it’ll stay that way.

Acknowledging Bisexuality

It is disheartening that bisexual representation on-screen isn’t as good or as frequent as gay and lesbian representation. We’re also at a time where it could be massively improved, but now we face the barrier of “queer” as another umbrella term. It’s wholly unhelpful when not everyone identifies with it and when we want bisexual characters to say the word bisexual on-screen. We want to be acknowledged. Bisexual actress Stephanie Beatriz made sure her bisexual character in Brooklyn Nine-Nine got to say it earlier this year, because that word means something to certain people and the impact is great. Hopefully this will start to happen more in film going forward.

There are definitely films out there where the word bisexual is actually said, like in Appropriate Behaviour, Kiss Me, Velvet Goldmine and Margarita with a Straw (2014). It’s rare that we hear it so when we do it’s pretty exciting. In addition to these, other films that feature positive and/or complex portrayals of bisexual characters in general (and not the previously discussed tropes) are: Cabaret (1972), Chasing Amy (1997), Black Swan (2010), Atomic Blonde (2017) and Tully (2018).

There have been many positive and negative depictions of bisexuality, but the majority of them aren’t great or feed into the biphobia and the erasure of the identity. Filmmakers need to do better when it comes to portraying bisexual characters and their stories. It’s always helpful when bisexual people themselves get a voice, whether as writers, directors or actors. For some reason, although there are exceptions, most straight male and lesbian filmmakers have trouble portraying bisexuality both positively and accurately. They essentially give the message that bisexuality doesn’t exist or is an inner conflict that needs to be resolved. We must do better because one day someone will be watching a film where a character says “bisexual” and their life will suddenly fall into place.

[pyrrhiccomedy]

and that brings me to Paris & Helen

this one is unusual in my exhaustive coverage of everything wrong with 2004′s Troy in that they actually did a couple of things right

first of all, making Paris and Helen actually be in love is a good decision. In The Iliad, she isn’t. Helen is a faithful wife to Menelaus, she hates Paris’s guts, and when the Trojans lose the war (uh, spoilers?) she goes home with her husband and they live out the rest of their lives happily in Sparta.

there’s a good movie in keeping that intact also, but in Troy they wanted Paris to be sympathetic and for the Trojans to be the Good Guys (mental note: need to make a post about how fucking stupid it was to make the Trojans the Good Guys and the Greeks the Bad Guys) and that doesn’t work if Paris is a kidnapping rapist.

listen when you talk about Troy (the only thing anybody should ever talk about) you have to tease out the good decisions from the bad decisions. 

Bad decision: making the Trojans & the Greeks a good vs evil binary. 

Good decision: in light of the fact that you have apparently chosen to do this, making Helen actually love Paris. this opens up Paris’s character to be, not necessarily more complex (there’s room for Paris to be plenty complex in The Iliad already), but definitely a lot more likeable and palatable. 

Bad decision: in light of making Helen love Paris, making her hate Menelaus. This REMOVES THE SOURCE OF TENSION FOR HER CHARACTER THAT YOU YOURSELVES NEWLY INTRODUCED. this is so simple. make her conflicted. she has fallen into swift, passionate love with Paris and abandoned her older, honorable, decent husband! while the passion of the moment was sufficient to make her damn both of their nations, over time she has doubts. when Paris flees from the duel with Menelaus, she is forced to confront that while she loves Paris, she does not respect him: she respects her husband.

It also takes complexity away from Paris! If she respects and, in a different way, even loves her husband, Paris can be jealous, he can be insecure, these are emotions that fit really well on Paris, the Best Craven Little Shit of the Western canon. 

Create a source of conflict within their relationship. not just “oh nooo, war is bad people are dying” but actually, like. WITH THE TWO OF THEM. Have it mirror the turning fortunes of the war. Let them fight. Give Helen the dignity of getting angry or being disappointed or feeling, jesus, ANYTHING other than Pretty Anxiety for 2 hours.

AWFUL DECISION: Helen never feels anything in this movie except for Pretty Anxiety.

she’s prettily anxious as she consents to run away with Paris. she’s prettily anxious as attempts to escape Troy and return to her husband in order to stop the war. she’s prettily anxious as Paris fights Menelaus; she stands up at one point to indicate that she feels more anxious (prettily) when Paris flees. She’s prettily anxious when Hector dies to Achilles and she’s prettily anxious as she flees the city with Andromache at the end of the movie.

She never screams. She never cries. She mists up a couple of times, but no tears ever fall (what would that do to her makeup?). She never rages, she NEVER displays any actual passion. hot, crushing kisses between Helen and Paris? unacceptable! what if it mashes up her face for a second in a way that isn’t pretty?

during the Paris & Menelaus duel (actually a good scene, Orlando Bloom is great as Paris), I turned to my fiancee and said, “this movie would never have the guts to make Helen throw up out of fear in this scene, but she should.”

Helen has no actual feelings in this movie and so it’s impossible to care about her. next.

Good decision: Orlando Bloom as Paris.

everyone knows Orlando Bloom is not a good actor. he can do one thing, and that’s dreamy, romantic vulnerability. fortunately, that’s all he needs in Troy. he absolutely sells being a dreamy, romantic fuckboy, who’s too cowardly to fight and too short-sighted to meaningfully understand the consequences of his actions, but really does love Helen with all his heart. against actors turning in much worse performances (mostly Diane Kruger as Helen and Eric Bana (Eric Bana) as Hector), he gives them everything he’s got. you feel his heartbreaking idealism when he urges Helen to run away with him. you feel his sickening terror when he goes to fight Menelaus. you feel his weak, almost swooning confusion (it’s come to this? it’s come to this) when Hector goes out to die against Achilles. he’s great. in fact he’s so great that it creates a new problem, which is “why is this guy risking everything for Helen, she’s a nothing-burger character and she’s not even that pretty.”

Orlando Bloom can’t play angry, but Troy’s Paris is never angry, he’s just confused and vulnerable and upset. It works.

Bad decision: they split up in the end.

this is so weird. this whole movie, we are supposed to understand that Paris would do anything, even condemn his city to burn and his brother to die, in order to be with Helen. Helen, we are told, feels the same way (not that she is ever seen “feeling” anything). and then at the end, when the Greeks are sacking Troy, Paris goes, “okay, go, I’m going to stay here with my father.”

what?

and then Paris never even finds his father (dead already at that point, natch), he just flees at a slightly later point in the movie, with Briseis.

what?

Listen, you can have Paris have misgivings about his total commitment to Helen, you can allow doubt to creep in as the fortunes of war turn against them and his filial piety is reignited. that’s also an interesting conflict you could add to Paris & Helen’s relationship. but you didn’t do that. you’ve had TWO HOURS to show me Paris having second thoughts about any of this - to have him actually say, “you know what, my attachment to Helen is tearing apart my family and threatening my city, maybe I made a mistake” - and he never does. 

and then, in the last five minutes of the movie, when Helen actually does need him because they’re fleeing into the fucking wilderness? NOW it’s “what about my duty as a son?”

and then they don’t even give him the closure of letting him find his father’s body! for fuck’s sake! if you’re going to have him suddenly abandon Helen in order to protect his father, give him that moment! let him feel remorse! let him cradle Peter O’Toole in his arms and curse himself and his ruinous love!

no instead we get another fucking shot of Achilles running around the streets of Troy yelling “Briseis! Briseis? Briseis!” every time he spots a brunette.

god, there’s so much wrong with Achilles in this movie that it’s distracting me from everything that’s wrong with Paris and Helen. Paris and Helen doesn’t work in Troy, next