#hence this having the most important part in the first 4 lines

[teaandinanity]

Since apparently we've stopped saying it often enough to catch Today's Lucky 10,000 and a lot more than that now need to hear it:

People using websites COSTS those websites money. Users do not directly translate into revenue unless the users are the PRODUCT that the website is selling on to other parties via ads or data harvesting.

Which is to say, the reason AO3 has funding drives is because they're not selling your porn-reading habits on to interested third parties. Please stop saying 'they should just make money like other websites.' I am fairly sure you do not really want them to do that. I certainly don't want them to do that. It's a voluntary drive; if you don't want to give you do not have to. The AO3 IRS won't get you on tax evasion.

Also like. You can care about more than one thing at a time. Your outrage and energy and give-a-damn does not have to focus like a laser on whatever you've deemed The Most Important Current Thing.

[flyingcakeee]

Friendly little post of what to expect from the Chinese GP next week!

Our 1st of 6 sprint races this season:

Drivers will have 1 practice session to get acquainted to the track before the sprint shootout(quali). Next day, we start with the sprint race and then move onto the actual qualifying. Finally, race on Sunday as usual.

What does this mean?

If an accident or issue happens on track during the FP session, drivers will lose out on the only practice time they have. Drivers also must be careful not to damage their cars in practice or the sprint race lest they run the risk of not making either qualifyings. This will be extremely important for the three teams who don't possess a spare chassis.

Surface repavement!

The track surface has been repaved in order to prevent any unwanted bumps in the track from hurting these cars and provide a smoother ride.

What does this mean?

Any possibility of rain can make the track super dangerous, paired with the absolute lack of rubber on the track these cars provide. A repaved track can be your gateway into red flagged sessions over track issues or accidents if a driver pushes a bit too hard on a low rubbered area of track.

Note: the rubber that comes off the tyres are essential for grip, hence why you see faster times being posted later in sessions as more rubber is laid down and grip rises.

An interesting and for a few, new, layout!

China is a very interesting circuit with 2 long straights, two slow speed and tight first turns, and very few true high speed turns. On top, there is only 2 DRS zones placed back to back with the straights really close to each other. On top of this, 4 current drivers have not ever driven this track before (minus sim). Those drivers are Oscar Piastri, Logan Sargeant, Yuki Tsunoda, and Zhou Guanyu (not only his home race, but his home city race as he is from Shanghai!). No reserve driver besides Antonio Giovinazzi of Ferrari has driven this circuit either as Mick Schumacher just missed out due to covid.

What does this mean?

The teams that lack straight line speed may struggle significantly within the first few laps before the back essentially falls apart if they are not able to utilize the 16 turns as their aid. On the contrary, teams who may be stronger at straight line speed could see the turns really hurt them and they'd need to utilize these two straights to the best of their abilities.

However, the most important part about this track is the first and last turns. Usually you'll always see action within the first few turns of a track. At the Shanghai circuit, turns 1-3 is a very tight hairpin-esque turn which not only curls in on itself before turning to a tight turn the opposite direction, it will maybe be the first place we see any action or even none at all. However, our last 3 turns may also be of interest as well. Turn 14-15 is a combined turn like the first 3, however not as tight. This means that this is essentially the hairpin on the track and if a driver makes a move further down the long straight, their approach and exit out of this turn will cement their position, at least for the time being. Turn 16 is a somewhat sharp turn that will see any finishing or comeback moves for the hairpin, especially since the DRS detection point is right before the turn. At the end of this tiny straight, as well, is the pit entry where we could see drama arise with any miscommunication if there is any (it is the more extended out version of the Belgian/Spa pit entry).

Weather forecast?

Currently, it's too early to tell with conflicting reports of either up to 70% rain for the whole weekend, 55% for Friday and Saturday, and a dry weekend.

What does this mean?

Well, we have yet to see how any car performs in wet weather with comparisons to each other, especially because if a practice session is wet but a race isn't, you're less likely to see cars leave the garage. Unfortunately for the teams, this won't be possible in China due to the fact the surface is new and for 4 teams, the track is new to the driver as well.

Speaking of new surface, any rain could make the surface extra slippery than anticipated due to the fact standing water and a track not worn in yet would make it's appearance.

Keep an eye out on the weather as we get closer!

Extra info!

There haven't been any ground effect era cars to ever race this circuit meaning no driver knows exactly what to expect from their car's performance on this track.

Alexander Albon, Lando Norris, and George Russell have only driven on this track once meaning that McLaren and Williams are the least prepared driver wise as both Albon and Norris have teammates who've never driven the circuit before.

China has a lot of grandstands which they don't use for people and instead advertisement because they didn't have enough people attending. Look out for some interesting advertisement placement!

Zhou Guanyu will be the first Chinese driver to take on a Chinese circuit in F1! And not only was Zhou Guanyu born in China, he was born in Shanghai which is the very city this track is held in. This means him and Charles Leclerc are the only drivers to be able to race in the city they were born in. (Edit: Completely forgot that, yes, Oscar Piastri and Lance Stroll both have a home city race)

There is a lot of talk buzzing around in the paddocks surrounding seat changes and whatnot. There may be more news after the 2 Chinese races.

[project-sekai-facts]

out of curiosity, which parts/episodes have the bad localizationing for phoenix? I'm probably going to read the official translation on sekai.best since I don't like using youtube and i wanna know what to expect

here's my main issues with it in brief for now, but i'll probably do a longer post on the topic of ensekai's translations later

Rui: I guess this is what you want to do

first off from chapter 7, rui's observation of Tsukasa's breakdown. this is just weirdly casual and honestly ooc for Rui. as a director, he's observant, and he's trying to understand what tsukasa's going through and what he's trying to do. The fan translation i linked puts this as "As I thought, this is what you're going for", which is far better.

Rui: We should let Tsukasa be right now...

also from chapter 7 literally 4 lines later. while at first this might not seem that bad, and is fitting with the context, i much prefer the fan TL version which puts this as "This is something that Tsukasa needs". Like do you get how much the word "needs" changes this. "We should let him be" is kinda broad all things considered. Like it could mean he needs it, but it could also mean that someone on tiktok or twitter will probably misinterpret it as wandasho not knowing what to do or some other angsty thing like them not being good friends i dunno

Tsukasa: It's because "I" am not strong enough...

Now this. This is a good line. Note the quotations around I. This is very important to Tsukasa's arc in this event of understanding the role of Rio and improving his acting. Note that here, the pronoun used is boku, when Tsukasa uses ore. Boku, or "I" here, refers to Rio, as in, Tsukasa is thinking as Rio. EN drops the quotations completely and translates it flatly as "because i'm powerless". He refers to himself in first person while thinking as Rio for the rest of the scene on EN though, so hopefully there won't be too many misinterpretations (but. you probably know what I'm vagueing about). Pronouns aren't used as frequently in japanese as in english so this is actually the first time he uses boku in this scene, hence the quotes. This is more nitpicky it's just something I thought was pretty cool.

Rui: Did you see that phoenix you were talking about?

one last Rui quote (rui im sorry ensekai can't translate you well). wow 3 out of four quotes here are rui in chapter 7 damn. anyway. the fan translation of this is "Have you finally found your Phoenix" which is SO much better with the context of the rest of the story. tsukasa decides that he needs to "find his phoenix" in order to nail the role, and this is correctly translated aside from this one line, which is arguably one of the most important uses of it. it's not just any phoenix, it's tsukasa's. his personal one, like a resolve of sorts. once again they made rui far too casual and he doesn't sound right.

yeah as i said i'll do something better another time, but he's my main nitpicks and complaints.

[elvenbeard]

Exposing myself here a little and sharing the current rule-set for my CP2077 Discord I'm the process of setting up below the cut! Below the cut, cause this post it's a lot of text as is.

I think I got all channels set up how I want them for starters, but there will always be room for improvement :D First and foremost I want this to become a place of encouragement and sharing and fun... I really just want it to be an extension of my fandom corner on tumblr here and have a room to chat with everyone I love in one spacereally, that's the whole point XD

Still though, I think some basic rules are good, especially if I decide to open this up to more people down the line - but also, some might find a strict ruleset (or my specific ruleset) not to their taste, hence, before sending out invites, I wanted to put this here.

If we're mutuals, or if you're following me and like what I post, original content and reblogs alike, AND if you wanna be part of this server under the prerequisite of accepting the rules below the cut... Like this post or DM me or leave a reply etc. And I might send you an invite.

(I want to open this up specifically also to people I'm not mutuals with, since I don't always follow back for a variety of reasons. But I have a good memory for user-handles and will recognize you if you interact with my posts on a regular basis!) Important: If I don't send you an invite, please don't take it personally. I might not know you or your vibe well enough yet. Especially if we're new mutuals, or if I'm not following you. But I will check out everyone I don't recognize or don't follow who reacts to this post. I want to keep the server somewhat small in general and especially to begin with, but if all goes well, I might come back to this post here somewhere later down the line and send some more invites! I love you all lots, and especially with my semi-forced hiatus recently I missed interacting with everyone. Being welcomed back so warmly repeatedly by so many people in your tags and replies and all really meant so much <3

So yeah! Server-rules below, react to this post or get in touch with me if you're interested to join based on these prerequesites, invites will go out during the weekend most likely! :D

1. Don't be a dick and use common sense. Be kind to each other. Assume ignorance over ill intentions first and foremost, and when in doubt, stay civil and ask a mod or admin for help via DM.

2. Homophobia, Transphobia, Queerphobia in general, Racism and Hatespeech towards other server members will not be tolerated. Report any talk of this sort to a mod or admin asap if you notice it.

3. This is an adult/NSFW server. You need to be at least 18 years of age to participate and can expect respective content. This is not to exclude anyone younger than 18, but for legal reasons.

4. No 18+ content needs to be spoilered ||like this|| by default. If you choose to spoiler something, which you are always free to do especially in general channels, use a label/indicator describing the content you're spoilering (e.g. [explicit sexual content], [nsfw], [blood/gore], [xyz kink], [tmi]). No kinkshaming please, but also, note rule 5.

5. If someone asks you to spoiler a specific type of niche/extreme content (e.g. extreme kinks, dark and disturbing topics, (mental) health themes like self-harm or terminal illnesses, or any content that could fall under 4) please do so. Be mindful of each other's comfort levels with being exposed to certain darker topics. Being asked to spoiler content does not equal being kinkshamed.

6. Everyone's boundaries are valid and you are free to set them. Simultaneously, nobody should have to censor themselves or their creations either. Spoilering (extreme) content on someone else's request does not equal censorship but is part of being a community.

7. If someone forgets to spoiler a topic that has been previously asked to be spoilered, do not assume the worst and kindly remind the op to spoiler. If the same person keeps forgetting the same things though and you feel like it is on purpose or targeted, let a mod/admin know.

8. If a topic that makes you personally uncomfortable is being discussed in a group setting, stepping away from the conversation temporarily is an alternative to asking to spoiler something (also applies to rule 6). Simultaneously though, due to no blacklisting options on Discord, be mindful of what you post especially if others whose comfort levels you don't know are there with you.

9. Please keep discussions on the server civil. If you've messed up, apologize. If discussions get personal or touch upon server-external issues, please resort to DMs to resolve them. If you need a neutral party to listen, @elvenbeard is always happy to.

10. Do not post content that isn't yours without the explicit permission of the original creator (be it mods, VP, art, writing, etc.). This includes posting links to external works that aren't yours.

11. Start no arguments or spread negativity by discussing non-server-members and their activities.

12. Keep shippy content to the respective channels. Respect each other's ships and headcanons (exceptions: see 13), but also respect the source material(s).

13. If you notice headcanons that are queer-phobic, transphobic, racist, hateful or something similar, especially if they are being framed or discussed as positive, inform a mod or admin asap. Everyone is entitled to their own headcanons, but any falling under these categories will not be tolerated.

[besiegedhunter]

Ascalon and Projekt Red.

Talking about their relationship and similarities.

Spoilers for things not in Global yet.

So when Babel got announced I was excited to see what Ascalon and her event would give us in regards to her relationship with Red and while there's not much in her files, there's actually a lot more than I thought there was. It's actually kind of funny but this is going to be split into two parts: their relationship and similarities.

Then a conclusion to top it all off but without further ado:

Their relationship.

So to cover the basics, Ascalon, Projekt Red and Scavenger are all a part of S.W.E.E.P: Rhodes Island's counterintelligence and covert operations, with Ascalon being the director and therefor Red's boss.

There is possible implications that there was more about their relationship prior to the Babel event. One is how close Ascalon is to Kal'tsit, the two working together during Babel and even more closely upon Theresa's death and the forming of Rhodes Island. Another is that Red's promotion record is Ascalon talking about Red and specifically the line: "All I'm here to do is sharpen her fangs and her knife."

Not exactly stellar evidence of anything, but that's where Babel comes in and gives us Ascalon's File 1 which focuses on her position within Rhodes as well as a glimpse into how S.W.E.E.P operates:

(Hong is Red)

This is all that we get about Red within Ascalon's files: that Red cannot smell her and that she holds S.W.E.E.P's special training record for putting a ball of tail hair into Ascalon's pocket by what is theorized to be Ascalon's own technique. With Ascalon making an inconspicuous comment.

The most important part being how it's theorized that Ascalon herself taught Red this technique. After all, it's the one thing that Red managed to do as she didn't get much information so it's entirely her planting the tail fur onto Ascalon that is impressive and a feat that not even Ines has done. So it's possible that Red alone was taught this trick.

It adds more context to Red's promotional record as Ascalon saying she'll sharpen Red's fangs and knife has reason now to belief she really did mean personally teaching Red:

But also, this isn't the first time we've seen Red planting something on someone without their noticing. Her module starts with her stealing a chip and planting a fake one onto her target without them noticing which with this context, might've been her using this technique she learnt from Ascalon:

If true, they're adding further context and bringing up an inconspicuous detail from Red's module that could be a coincidence but if not, is possibly emblematic of thought being put towards their relationship.

Before I move onto the similarities as revealed in the vent, I want to expand upon why no further connection between them is displayed in Ascalon's files.

The entirety of her File 1 is to demonstrate how little information is known about Ascalon and what exactly is. The rest of her files are mainly various physical documents on hand that could be added to the file, like voice recordings (File 2), intelligence regarding her (File 3) and a letter from her to the Doctor (File 4).

If Ascalon and Red have a closer relationship it wouldn't be mentioned in the file because Ascalon is so unknown that likely no one found out to put it into the files. Hence it being theorized that Red learnt Ascalon's technique (possibly being a hint by the game writers that there is more.)

*cough cough* Red or Ascalon oprec *cough cough*

Similarities.

So actually this bit is the reason why I'm talking about this and my smoking gun that Ascalon and Red have a deeper relationship than simply being boss and employee. I will say however that I've not read the entire event. I skimmed through the early sections and only read Ascalon's parts.

Nonetheless, before I even read the event and was reading through Ascalon's files, I was surprised to discover this line in her File 2:

The event goes more into this. The Catastrophe storm that is mentioned here is referencing when she first met and subsequently was taken in by Theresis and Theresa. Before that she was surviving on her own in the wilderness, hunting wild animals just to survive and from a very young age.

This is very similar to Red, who through the information found within Il Siracusano and her module, we learn also grew up surviving in the wilderness. It's very much implied that Red came into frequent contact with wild animals in which she had to defend herself:

But that's not all, though it is the root for the next similarity that they share.

A noticeable thing about Red's speech is that it's broken. She speaks in short sentences or with sizeable pauses between her words:

And we know from the vignette: Operational Intelligence - After-class Homework, we know that Red is doing homework, at least on English in which she does have problems understanding:

And her files say that she has educational problems, all compounding Red's problems with speech. But when we see Ascalon as a child in the Babel event, especially when she first meets Theresis and Theresa, this is how she speaks:

She has broken speech, a thing that continues into the next scene of Ascalon when she was young and it's deliberately explained as being because she spent so long in the wilderness:

The both of them grew up in the wilderness, not having anyone else to talk to or perhaps rather not having reason to talk which leads to them having broken speech when they finally do enter civilization.

And as shown in the first meeting between Ascalon and Theresis, Ascalon's first action was to try and kill him since that's how she learnt how to survive with wild animals, which she didn't see other humans being anything else.

Well later on, when she was taken in by Theresis, a younger Manfred bursts into the room they were in and I believe it startles Ascalon who's reflexively attacked him:

I've not read the entire event yet as I said but nothing before this showed them meeting and rather push that they shouldn't know each other and the scene moves on from this with nothing implying she attacked him because she recognized him. (I might be wrong however.)

So likely, Ascalon felt threatened by him bursting into the room and reflexively attacked him which is another thing that Red does because of her similar past:

And from their similar paths come similar struggles. Only knowing how to kill, not having their own beliefs, struggling to interact with the rest of the world.

For Ascalon it's highlighted in scenes like these:

And for Red, it's the entire point of her module but particularly this section of it:

When she came into civilization it broke her, she had no guidance and to this day she doesn't fully interact with civilization, doesn't know how to spend money and by the time of Il Siracusano she returns to Grandma, yet to form her own beliefs.

Also she routinely defines herself as a wolf hunter which really is an assassin for Grandma. A weapon if you will.

In conclusion.

Red and Ascalon have many many things in common and they are things that we know Ascalon are aware of as she comments on Red's problems in Red's promotional record. And it feels like there's too much similarities, that they practically share the same past that combined with what little is said of Red in the file I'm all but certain that Ascalon and Red's relationship is more than just boss and employee.

And I also think an interesting part about these scenes in the event about Ascalon is the questions it raises about Red, as we see how Ascalon met Theresis and Theresa, as well as got her name.

Because there's still many mysteries about Red we don't have answers to. How she met Kal'tsit and the origin of her name, because Projekt Red is ever a curious one, being two that are highlighted here.

But you could also see Ascalon and the paths she took as examples of where Red's character is or could go. Maybe even flip that around: Ascalon meets someone who is practically identical to her past self. How does she feel? How does she interact with Red on this basis?

It's all brainstorming and me being hopeful that this means Red can finally get an oprec, we see the two interact or that Red Alter is on the way but I am 99% confident that these similarities are purposeful and we'll see something on them.

Thank you for reading all the way through.

(Also there's not enough information about S.W.E.E.P to make it it's own post but from Terra: A Journey and Ascalon's files:

Theresa was killed and by extension Babel fell apart in Autumn of 1094. But from voice recordings in Terra: A Journey, we know S.W.E.E.P was founded as part of Rhodes in 1094 also and Red being a founding member means she likely joined within a year of Rhodes creation.

So she's known Kal'tsit and Ascalon for three years before the Doctor and met them likely not very long after Theresa's death.

Also S.W.E.E.P officially has an office. Idk if it's the room from Ascalon's theme or not but it exists. Red and Scavenger probably sit around talking about Provence there.)

[lavendertales]

Sweet lies: Chapter 4

pairing: Frankie Morales x f!reader

summary: you’re dead set on talking to Frankie at the upcoming dinner, but when he arrives with his fiancé, things get a bit messy.

word count: 4.7k

A/N: this is ANGSTY (but I will make it up to y’all from next chapter onwards 🤭)

Comments & reblogs are forever appreciated 💕

gif: @uuuhshiny​ 

series masterlist | AO3 

Your first two weeks on the new job could easily be deemed as successful.

You got the hang of it pretty quickly, making yourself right at home in that big office that you were given, getting to read and write exciting stories that, you hoped, would make a difference to the world. Sure you indulged into the occasional less-than-important topics, such as celebrities and whatnot, but it was only human nature after all.

And you knew a lot about being the talk of the people already, without even being famous.

You knew your friends were talking about you when you were there and when you weren’t. It was the kind of thing that was inevitable, almost impossible not to do. After all, it was a huge deal to have you back into their lives, seeing you at least once a week again instead of once per year, if lucky. And now, with things being ice cold between you and Frankie, rumors and conversations about you two were even a must for the others.

You haven’t asked for any information about Frankie—and you think he’s not asking about you. If he is, he shouldn’t. His sole focus should be his upcoming nuptials, not someone he used to go to high school with.

But unfortunately, you cannot seem to turn off your damn brain, or rather the part where all of your memories are contained. Feels like opening the box of Pandora, afraid of what might spill out against your will.

What you dread the most, however, is the moment that you will get invited to the wedding. Because you know that moment will come. It’s just a matter of when. You just need to control your emotions instead of allowing them to control you and politely decline with a decent excuse that won’t make you look like a bitch.

But then, another thought crosses randomly through your mind: maybe you won’t get invited at all.

That, of course, would be the ideal case. Never having to witness the man you’ve unconsciously given your heart to express eternal love to someone else is the best you can hope for under these circumstances. But, with everyone else being there, family, close friends and all, not even receiving an invitation also seems cruel. Like you were never that important to him.

After all, nothing ever happened between the two of you. All of your friends claimed that there was “definitely something there”, and yet, neither had voiced any potential interest. You were only good friends, waiting, yearning, begging for the other to say something, do something that would end all of that inner turmoil.

Nothing ever happened. Hence why you remain convinced, to this day, that it was a classic case of unrequited love. Just you and your silly little unrequited feelings, still craving, still waiting, even after all those years.

You wonder if it will ever stop.

You wonder if this is the reason why you haven’t actually gotten yourself involved more seriously with anyone else.

You wonder if, even on your deathbed someday, your mind will still wander to Frankie.

It’s too much. It has been so for most of your twenties, and now that you are back home, back to the place where it all began, maybe it’s a chance to get some closure instead. Nothing more, nothing less. Just closure.

“Hey, are you free this Thursday?” Santi’s voice coos through the other end of the line.

“As far as I know, yes. Why, what’s going on Thursday?”

“Just another dinner with the gang.”

“Okay. Count me in.”

“Uh—by the way—“

You sigh, slightly annoyed with the way everyone is walking on eggshells around you. You can’t stand this being the standard in your friendship.

“I do realize this means Frankie is coming, Santiago,” you almost scold him. “And that’s fine.”

“Just wanted to give you a heads up.”

“And I appreciate it, but I don’t want you or anyone else walking around on eggshells around me with this whole Frankie situation. I want us to be normal again, okay?”

“Okay.”

There’s a pause. “Do you think we can do normal?” he asks out of the blue.

“I sure hope so. I can’t spend the rest of my life like this, in doubt and watching what I say or what I do.”

“A lot would be fixed if you and Fish would just talk.”

Another pause, which you use to gather your composure. He is not wrong, and you’ve come to the same conclusion. It might be uncomfortable, but you need some sort of finalization.

“You’re right,” you tell him. “And that’s exactly what I want to do.”

You could practically hear Santiago frown over the phone. “Really?”

“Yes. For my sanity and for the sake of the group, Frankie and I have to sort out this mess and address the elephant in the room. We’ve waited long enough. It’s time.”

Over on the other line, Santiago gulps, half impressed with your determination and half fearing the way you sound so definitive, so dead set on that idea.

“Let me guess, you’re gonna do this on Thursday?” he checks.

“Not in front of everyone. But yes, I will want to talk to him.”

“Are you sure it’s a good idea?”

“You just said—“

“I know what I said, but I meant… is it a good idea to do this over dinner, with plenty of people around? It’s a very private conversation to be had, probably emotional as hell, and you might not feel so good afterwards.”

You ponder over Santiago’s words, appreciating his care nonetheless. He’s been very supportive of you over the years, and even after Frankie ghosted you completely, Santiago made sure to let you know—and his best friend as well—that the whole thing was a dumb idea and that he had your back.

Seems it’s no different now.

He knows damn well the hurt you’ve gone through, and how much you cared about Frankie. And again, he isn’t wrong. Having the big conversation over at dinner with friends, in a crowded restaurant, might not be beneficial.

“Fine, so maybe it’s not the brightest idea,” you concede. “But I’ll let him know that I do want to have the conversation and that we should meet over the weekend or something and finally clear the air.”

Santiago doesn’t reply. He’s not sure there is anything he could tell you to make you feel any better, so he resorts to simply listening to you.

“I’m sure that will go over well,” he jokes.

“You said it yourself, we gotta do normal. I gotta at least try to get closure. End it, one way or the other.”

Santiago takes a deep breath in, and you mimic the gesture, your thoughts racing as much as your heart.

“Thursday, seven p.m.,” he tells you with finality. “Antonio’s.”

“Got it.”

“I’ll swing by, pick you up.”

“Thanks.”

Considering he was Frankie’s best friend in the whole wide world, Santiago sure was spending a lot of his free time with you and making sure you were okay. You never gave it a second thought, and certainly not after Rose had confessed she still liked him.

Which reminds you…

“Is it okay if I invite Rose too?” you ask. “You remember her.”

Santiago’s breaths come in glitches, and you can hear it too. You suppress a giggle, curious as to how he’ll play this one out.

“Of course I remember her,” he replies a little too enthusiastically. “We’ve kept in touch over the years. Not as much as we did in high school, but you get it.”

“Oh, I get it.”

“Why are you saying it like that?”

“No reason.”

“Anyway, bring her along. It’ll be great. I haven’t seen her in a while.”

“I’m sure she’ll be excited to see you too.”

You smile as you hang up the phone, relishing into the one thing that makes you feel good about the upcoming dinner.

But come Thursday, and you’re dreading the dinner. The sentiment of déjà vu won’t leave you; the only exception is that this time, you know Frankie will be there, and you do intend to talk to him, even if it’s momentary.

Nervous as you are, you do your best to make sure you look great. You’re wearing a black shirt with a sweetheart neckline, and a pair of dress pants. Your makeup is in place, and so is your jewelry. Nothing too fancy, yet not too comfortable. You certainly don’t want to stand out.

“Wow!” Santiago exclaims when you open the door, his eyes radiant, beaming with admiration.

“My eyes are up here, Garcia.”

“I wasn’t—“

“I’m just messin’ with ya.”

Santiago chuckles nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sooo where’s Rose? Is she meeting us at the restaurant?”

“Unfortunately she can’t come. She has a big presentation due Monday, so her weekend is pretty much booked.”

When you look him over, you see the disappointed look on his face and you can’t help but smile surprised.

“Sorry to disappoint you,” you say.

“I’m not disappointed. I mean, I can see her whenever I want, I got her number.”

“Really? So then, why don’t you ask her out?”

Santiago falters, the smug smile on his face slowly vanishing, whereas yours grows wider.

“Because… I don’t want to,” he finishes.

“Is that so? You don’t want to ask a gorgeous woman out?”

“Hey, I’m not asking you out right now. I know what I’m doing.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, let’s just go to dinner.”

All you think about during the car ride is the speech you’re gonna give to Frankie. You must choose your words carefully, so that you won’t endanger his engagement or have your intentions be misinterpreted.

“You okay?” Santiago asks as he’s making a sharp turn to the left.

“Yeah. Just… thinking.”

“You’re always in your head.”

“Force of habit.”

You both chuckle, the atmosphere becoming a little less tense.

“Figured out what you’re gonna say to Frankie?”

You huff. “I’m just gonna say, ‘hey, I think we should probably address everything. Can we meet this weekend, talk through it and just end things one way or the other?’ and that’s that.”

“That’s good, straight to the point.”

“Yep.”

“You know, Fish is my best friend. We’ve been there for each there since we were in middle school, and I love him like my own brother. But I think letting you go was the stupidest decision of his life. Pendejo.”

You flash a faint smile, oddly touched by Santiago’s confession.

“You do?” you ask.

“Absolutely. Told him that for years and years. He’s never fought me on it, though. Never really told me why he made that choice, but I made sure to give him some hell once in a while so he knows he was a dick. I think he knows.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

He caresses your arm for a brief second, and then the next he’s helping you out of the car and opens the door for you to walk into the restaurant. The Millers are already there, and so are Mia and Emily. You and Santiago hug everyone briefly, and then he pulls the chair for you, right under the girls’ studious eyes.

“Are you sure there’s nothing going on with you two?” Emily teases.

“Let me answer this before you pull out your plethora of rejection, lady. Nothing’s going on,” Santiago quickly clears out the air, much to everyone’s amusement.

You laugh, checking the menu. It can’t be more than ten seconds later when Will’s eyes shoot to the entrance and then he leans in towards you. “Heads up, Morales at six o’clock.”

Because you’re seated with your back against the entrance, you turn swiftly, only to be met with Frankie’s figure entering the restaurant. He’s dressed sharply, not in his usual comfortable attire; he has dress pants on and a white shirt, and you have to admit, it is awfully distracting.

You take a deep breath in, trying to soothe your nerves. Santiago side-eyes you and nods, thus encouraging you to go on about your plan.

And you do exactly that: you stand up, walking towards the entrance and fully unaware of the fact that you are holding your breath. You don’t mean to do that, not even one bit, but it comes involuntarily. Like that would somehow conceal or prevent your nervousness from slipping.

Frankie’s face seems to lighten, displaying utter surprise when he sees you walking in his direction. He sees the determination on your face, albeit some anxiety in the mix, and he braces himself.

“Hi,” you say.

“Hi. You look—“

You put your hand up, almost touching his face. “No. We’re not doing that.”

“Sorry.”

God, why do you still desperately want to hear the end of that sentence? Why the hell do you feel the urge to tell him how handsome and dashing he looks?

You know better than that. You have more common sense than that.

“Listen, I’ve been thinking about it, and I think… we should talk about… everything,” you tell him, your voice seeping with nerves.

“Okay, sure. But listen—“

“Not now, obviously.”

“Obviously, yeah, but—“

“Maybe this weekend?”

Frankie opens his mouth to say something, for something to leave his mouth as a warning of some sort, yet, by the time you realize what he’s about to say, you see it with your own eyes.

“Took forever to check in those coats, I’m sorry, babe. Oh, hi!”

You stare at the woman, taking in her features. She’s about Frankie’s height, her hair brown with hints of caramel in it, her eyes emerald green and fairly big, and a very fit body. You don’t need an introduction; even though she’s a stranger at this very second, you feel like you’ve known her for a while.

“Hi!” you reply with a flustered smile on your face, hoping your surprise wasn’t noticed.

“I’m Andrea, nice to meet you.”

“Hi, Andrea. I’ve heard so much about you.”

“You too. You look even more amazing than what the guys described.”

Your smile widens, more in discomfort rather than in flattery. You watch her press a light kiss on Frankie’s cheek, and he looks at you in an apologetic way.

“Did I hear someone say something about weekend plans?” Andrea asks.

“Uh, yeah, that would be me,” you reply. “I was just…”

Then it hits you. You can’t make any plans for the weekend, and certainly not with Frankie.

“I forgot it’s the 14th,” you seemly apologize. “My bad.”

“Oh, I think the guys have something planned for Valentine’s Day, don’t they?”

She’s asking Frankie. He turns to look at her and smile a little, nodding along. You notice he avoids looking at you altogether, but then again, you think this is for the best.

“Hey, look who’s here!” Benny is the first one to exclaim—and potentially distract— and to stand up to hug Andrea. The others follow his example, leaving you and Frankie alone.

“So. That’s Andrea,” you awkwardly say.

“Yeah.”

“She seems incredible.”

“She is.”

The regret on his face after saying that is unmistakable, but all it does is confuse you. But even so, you don’t address it. You don’t think you’d want to know either way. You’re not sure you could handle it.

“So… how about this weekend? Us, talking?” he asks.

You scoff. “It’s Valentine’s Day. We can’t make any plans.”

“Are you guys joining us or what?” Benny shouts at you two.

With robotic motions, you get to the table, Santiago on your right and Frankie—and Andrea, respectively—on your left. You’ve never felt more constricted, in more need of air. The urge becomes unbearable, your clothes almost strangling you.

But you breathe through. You take deep breaths in and out, subtly, while Santiago’s keen eyes are watching you.

“Everyone in then?” Benny asks, and you’re quick to realize you missed about half the conversation.

“In for what?” you ask.

“We’re throwing sort of a party for Valentine’s this weekend,” Will explains, his voice soothing. “A get together, so we can all celebrate. All friends welcome.”

“You could bring Rose by too if you want,” Santiago tells you.

You frown at his not-at-all subtlety, making a face at him.

“What? He just said ‘all friends welcome’,” he continues defensively. “Rose is a friend, isn’t she?”

“Maybe more to some of us.”

“Best save your energy and desire to drink for Saturday night,” Will warns.

“Guys, I’m gonna sit this one out,” Andrea announces. “I’m headed for a medical conference this weekend, won’t be back till Sunday late.”

“That’s too bad,” Mia says.

“That’s right, you’re a doctor,” you remember.

Andrea flashes a smile down your way, her cheeks slightly reddened. Damn, that’s attractive even to you, and there is no denying that.

“Dermatologist,” she explains.

“Hey, that’s still medical school.”

She giggles, the adorable sound pleasantly tickling your ears. “What about you, what are you doing back here?”

“Editor. I get to judge and write, so two for two.”

Everyone at the table laughs, including Andrea.

“You’re so funny. And so cool,” she tells you.

Dang it. That’s hard to hate.

“So are you, I mean… hello, doctor?” you actually laugh.

“I smell a friendship forming here,” Benny giggles to Emily.

“I wouldn’t bet on it,” Will whispers to them. “Now quit your high school giggles.”

“I’m not gonna let you talk to my girlfriend like that, big bro.”

“I was talking to you, you bonehead.”

Emily chuckles, caressing his arm in reconciliation.

“Alright, so Saturday, five p.m., our place,” Will concludes.

“I hope you guys have a great time,” Andrea pouts, leaning a little onto Frankie’s figure.

The more you talk to Andrea, the more you listen to her life story, the fonder you’re growing of her. She is indeed remarkable: studied medicine at Johns Hopkins, bartending to pay her college debt, often worked at a shelter for homeless people during the holiday season and was generally bubbly and fun. On top of that, she was very beautiful, and she and Frankie did make a great pair.

He looked happy. Whenever he returned Andrea’s gaze, he just looked so comfortable and happy, and you loved that sight so much, you saw no point in even having that conversation with him anymore.

The sudden callout of your name snaps you back with your feet on the ground. You look around the table, seeing Mia addressing you.

“Are you coming tomorrow or not?” she repeats.

You realize you didn’t give any answer, and for some reason that startles you—especially with everyone’s glare on you.

“Uh—I don’t think I should, I mean… it’s Valentine’s Day. A day for lovers. The official holiday of sex and romance.”

“Don’t think this is some sort of orgy, cause it’s not,” Benny says.

“Well now they might,” Emily shushes him sweetly.

“We said all friends are welcome,” Will reminds you. “It’s not about couples. It’s about being together with the ones we care about.”

“Oh, rub it in, why won’t you!”

Everyone laughs at Andrea’s joke, including you.

“I do promise to make it up to you when I get back though,” she coos over to Frankie, but unfortunately, you hear it too, and it makes your stomach squeeze itself to the size of a peanut.

“I don’t expect anything less,” he replies just as cheekily.

“Oh, by the way!”

Andrea peeks from behind Frankie, calling out your name.

“Almost forgot. Since you’re such an integral part of this group’s life and because they all care about you so much, we’d love it if you’d come to our wedding. It’s on 10th of June.”

There you have it. The moment you have both been anticipating and dreading.

And now that you hear it, it causes your heart to sink into the hole that your stomach left when it squeezed itself shut. Out of the corner of your eye, you see that Frankie’s not even looking at you. Being literally in between you and Andrea, hearing the exchange between you two, it’s a little overwhelming, and unlike you, he’s not afraid to show it.

Even if Andrea doesn’t know half of the truth.

And neither do you.

“Oh, thank you… so much for the invitation,” you finally reply with a massive knot in your throat. “I really appreciate it.”

“Of course,” Andrea smiles.

“I just—well, I can’t make it. I’ve been planning a month long trip in June, and—“

“Oh no. I mean, that sounds amazing, but that’s too bad.”

“Yeah. Thank you so much for inviting me. But I just can’t be there.”

Your eyes pierce right through Frankie as you offer your reply, but Andrea notices nothing of the sort. It’s only then that Frankie gazes back at you, his eyes filled with unspoken regret and all the apologies of the world, each of them contained within those two brown, soft orbs.

Afterwards, you don’t even remark the concerned glares that the group exchanges between themselves. You barely hear any of the talk. You smile politely through most of it, downing your drink as if the liquid would offer some sort of salvation from the waves of sadness that overcome you.

Deep down, you know that invitation came from Andrea and not from Frankie. You’re both glad and sad, and even more so when you look around at the table, seeing Will and Mia, Benny and Emily, Andrea and Frankie and you and Santiago, together and yet apart. The concoction of emotions eats at you from inside out, ready to spit out the remains of your power at any given moment, even though you fight with every muscle in your body to keep a friendly face and not reveal any of that.

That is, until you turn to your side to see Andrea and Frankie nose to nose, whispering sweet nothings to each other in utter bliss. It’s in that moment that you feel happiness and pain marching together as one, both sharp in your chest.

“Okay guys, we don’t want to have all the fun tonight,” you excuse yourself, standing up. “So I guess I’ll see you on Saturday.”

“Yay, you’re coming!” Emily exclaims.

“A party’s a party, right?”

“Can’t you stay a bit longer?”

Frankie’s question leaves you truly dumbfounded. More so because it brings back painful memories of the last night you’ve spent together in person.

“It’s getting late,” you said at the time, barely making any effort in removing yourself from near his broad frame, sitting next to each other on that bench. “I should get going.”

“Oh, come on, it’s only ten.”

“I have a full weekend ahead of me, you know that.”

“I do. But you also know that I like spending time with you.”

“I do.”

“So you realize I’d do anything to keep you here just a little while longer.”

“It’s not easy for me either, Francisco.”

“Can’t you just… can’t you stay a bit longer?”

“I really should go, I—“

“I just want…”

“What? c’mon, just tell me. What do you want, Francisco?”

You never found out the answer. Eventually, Frankie only smiled at you and hugged you so tight you could’ve sworn you became one and the same, wished you a good night, and that was the last time you’ve seen him.

You’ve kept in touch afterwards, writing and calling, but never facetiming. And a few months down the road, he was completely gone.

“I really should get going,” you finally found the strength to reply, almost choking. “I gotta get to the office a little earlier tomorrow anyway.”

“It was so great meeting you,” Andrea smiles and hugs you. “And I guess we’ll be seeing a lot of each other from now on, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

Frankie locks eyes with Santiago, and the latter’s eyes are adamant, nearly cruel in the wrong lighting.

“I’ll give you a ride,” Santiago offers.

“That’s fine, I’ll take a cab.”

You don’t know what else to do to get out of there faster, so you almost sprint towards the coat room and outside into the cold again.

When the crisp air hits your face, you close your eyes and nearly combust. It all feels too much at the same time, way too many sensations running rampant through your body. All you can possibly want now is to get home, jump in your bed and read something with a glass of wine in hand. Alone, unjudged.

But then, you feel a shadow behind you. A light grab of your wrist spins you around, and you nearly gasp.

“Are you okay?” Frankie asks.

It’s so silly that it’s almost laughable. Borderline pathetic.

You don’t know where the reaction comes from, but it’s catatonic. Suddenly you start to laugh, hot tears invading your eyes and threatening to run down your reddened cheeks at any given point.

“Am I okay?” you mock his words. “Do you even understand what this is like for me? Do you even have a shred of understanding as to how this might feel for me?”

Frankie coos your name so gently, it acts like a trigger for your tears to break free from your eyes, slowly pouring down your face.

“I came back here, to my so-called hometown, after all the hard work, all the studies and everything else in between… and I have never felt more like an outsider. In my own home, with my own chosen family. I’m a stranger here, I’m… it’s like I was never here!”

Frankie listens to you, heart aching in his chest, blood boiling in his veins, not daring interrupt you.

“And you just—just sitting there, just talking to you hurts, Francisco,” you continue. “It hurts thinking of us, of how we were and what we might’ve had, the things we’ve shared, the things we’ve said and didn’t say… it’s too fucking much.”

“So… what? This is it? You’re gonna disappear again?”

Maybe his question carries no ill intention, but it still stings you.

“I did not disappear,” you clarify on an angered tone. “I left for my studies, for a better life. Do not dare throw that against me.”

“I’m not—throwing it against you. It’s just—I know it’s too much. Seeing you again, like this—“

You frown. “Like what? I’m still me.”

He falters, his heart skipping several beats that might’ve otherwise killed him. But looking at you so hurt, in so much pain, it keeps him alive. It keeps him alive to know he has wronged you, and to know that he has to make it up to you somehow.

“You’re—“he begins, searching for his words. “I mean, leaving the country definitely worked in your best interest. You’re… gorgeous.”

You close your eyes again, anger rising within. “Don’t. Don’t do that, don’t be all nice and cheesy. Stop it. Please.”

There is finality in your voice, your throated plea a heartbreaking reminder to Frankie that all you’ve been through is on him. The guilt that kept him up at night, will continue to do so.

“We’re gonna have to see each other since we share friends, but… you and I both know things aren’t the way they used to be. And they never will be again.”

Frankie nods continuously, arriving at the same realization as you. “Okay,” he agrees. “So we put on a polite, fake smile and… that’s it.”

“That is it. That’s the bare minimum. I got nothing else to offer. You made sure of that.”

Later in the evening, when you’re barely paying attention to the pages of your book and the wine has long settled in your veins, you wonder how the hell people can go from strangers to friends, hoping for more, then back to strangers.

Like all the love they felt was never there to begin with.

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[presidenthades]

Once again, I am doing a series of my behind-the-scenes thoughts for The Golds while I do light edits for formatting, typos, and continuity. Here’s Chapter 2!

(Note: I originally planned to put out these commentaries once a day, but I’ve been recruited for an urgent knitting/crochet project IRL so I might be a bit slow.)

For this chapter’s title, I chose the lyrics for the Father in “The Song of the Seven” because Aegon finds out he’s going to be a dad. 😳

Opening line: I wanted the reader to spend a half-second thinking Aegon was in the middle of a sexual activity 😂. Later in the chapter, both Daemon and Alicent briefly think he’s been out at the brothels, so I wanted to foreshadow that here. But it turns out Aegon just really likes pies.

Gyles and Ronnel were throwaway characters in my original plan, but they ended up being very important to the plot 😅. I took a brief line from Aegon’s letter in Chapter 3 of the Handbook, about him eating pies that were almost better than sex, and created Gyles from that. So Aegon’s been patronizing Gyles’s business for several years.

Gyles rents a small storefront on the Street of Flour, which I presume is where most of the bakers in KL live/work. He’s probably part of the local bakers’ guild, and he’s on the poorer end of the street so his customers tend to be laborers who want a quick hot meal. Aegon stumbled across the shop one day as a young teen when he was hangry, and he’s been coming back ever since.

I spent a ridiculous amount of time researching the history of cheese and barely used it for the fic 🥲. But I want everyone to know I thought very carefully about the type of cheese Gyles uses in his pies! It would be similar to appenzeller, which is a cheese of Swiss origin that uses cider/wine during the cheesemaking process, and it supposedly has an herby flavor (I’ve never had it but I want it). It’s a hard cheese (so it travels well) that melts well (good for pie filling), and it’s from an Alpine region (like the Vale where Gyles is from).

Ronnel barely got a glimpse of Jace during her wedding parade, but he would die for her 🥲.

We get our first glimpse of the Tyroshi, which I tried not to draw too much attention to so readers didn’t get suspicious, but I wanted it in there to set up Aegon’s investigation in Chapter 4. In hindsight, Aegon wishes he just stabbed the man that day…but he probably would’ve gotten beat up or killed in turn by the bodyguards.

BTW I am very proud of the sentence where I describe the bodyguards as looking like chickens 🐔. Sorry, just have to pat my back here.

Author’s nitpick about Maegor’s tunnels! My understanding is the secret tunnels are in the Red Keep but NOT in the Holdfast, which only has one super special secret escape route that book!Aegon uses when Rhaenyra takes KL. I have to remember not to let the characters just pop around anywhere they please using the secret tunnels. If everyone used secret tunnels all the time, they wouldn’t be very secret 🤧. I imagine the passage Aegon uses to sneak in and out of the castle is one that a lot of Targaryen royals have used, so it’s not a HUGE secret.

Daemon heard about the pregnancy pretty quickly after Jace got sick during small council. Nobody is sure where Aegon went, only that he sneaked out (pretty normal for him), and of course Daemon’s first suspicion is that Aegon is out whoring 💀. So Daemon went to the tunnels to catch Aegon on his way back and verify if Aegon was at the brothels or not. If Aegon was out whoring while his wife just found out she’s pregnant, Daemon would probably have done…something not nice 😅. But Aegon was just eating pies so it’s fine!

Aegon is no longer scared of Daemon (he was a bit scared in the first part of the Handbook), but he still doesn’t want to be alone with Daemon in a dark tunnel 👀.

Aegon has excellent zingers in the book, so I wanted give him some very sassy lines in this fic. Hence, Aegon implying Daemon is getting fat 😂. If you can’t take it, don’t dish it, Daemon!

Daemon’s line about “a spate of missing persons in the city” is a reference to the Tyroshi’s doings. The Tyroshi has kidnapped enough “good citizens” (tradesmen like Gyles, as opposed to poor prostitutes) that it’s becoming noticeable.

And yes, Daemon did deliberately make Aegon think something bad happened to Jace as revenge for Alyssa and the early wake up calls.

Originally, I was going to do brief POV scenes of all Jace’s sisters reacting to the pregnancy news, but it got very repetitive so I cut out all of them except Luce. But in the deleted bits, there’s a scene where Alicent asks Rhaena to help find Jace’s premarital nightgowns because the only nightwear Jace has right now is sexy lingerie 🤭. Then there’s a kinda sad bit where Rhaena realizes Alicent thinks she’s helping Jace by removing temptation from Aegon, because a pregnant woman should want reprieve from her husband’s attentions, because that was Alicent’s experience: being pregnant meant she didn’t have to sleep with Viserys. So Alicent struggles to realize that on the contrary, Jace might enjoy her husband’s attention.

Alicent and Rhaenyra have a comedic bit where they synchronize as they transform into Overprotective Future Grandmother mode, to showcase that they’re more similar than they admit. It’s self-explanatory why Rhaenyra is fussy, but this is also Alicent’s first grandchild. And she has always liked Jace, who is basically Alicent’s ideal good-daughter. I also think Alicent is a little jealous that Rhaenyra has Jace; Alicent definitely loves Helaena, but we see her struggling to connect with her daughter on the show, whereas Jace has always been polite, dutiful, and overall “easy” to interact with.

Because Alicent likes Jace so much, she is extra offended at the thought that Aegon might be out whoring. In a way, she still thinks of him as the profligate young prince before the Stepstones (at this point in the story, he’s only been back two months), so she assumed the worst. But it’s obvious to her that Aegon is head over heels for Jace, and she realizes he changed while he was away. So she apologizes, which doesn’t erase the hurt of her accusation but Aegon recognizes it as a big deal since she’s never apologized to him before. And she’s embarrassed about her mean reaction, but she’s too proud to do anything else to make amends.

In an earlier draft of the scene where Aegon learns about the pregnancy, I dragged out the misunderstanding where he thinks he made her cry. There was a whole miscommunication sequence that somehow ends with Aegon thinking Jace doesn’t love him anymore (he tries to give her a new ring, she cries because she knows her hands will swell and she’s worried she’ll be hideous and “I won’t be your pretty girl anymore” or something like that), but it was too melodramatic so I cut it down to a brief moment of pregnancy hormones 😅.

Using her sleeve to wipe her face is a bad habit that Aegon taught Jace because he used to do that for her when they were little and she cried 😭. (He still does it sometimes.)

Another theme in the story: when Jace is nervous, scared, or otherwise feeling negative emotions, Aegon uses humor to bring her out of her pit of despair (e.g. wedding night, during the storm at Dragonstone).

A hennin is that tall cone hat you see in medieval paintings. It was a status flex because it’s so impractical, which means only rich non-working women can wear it. Rhaenys’s hairstyle kinda reminds me of it too 😅. I imagine hennins to be very old-fashioned at this point in time, and maybe Rhaenys made Jace wear a few hennins when she was little and that’s why Jace hates them so much lol.

When I was writing the Handbook, I thought might’ve been the one to come up with the elopement idea. But she’s such a naturally cautious person that now I think she needed nudging first, and Aegon is reckless enough to go for an elopement without thinking about consequences too much.

I also have this idea that Otto has always been a big Jacegon shipper in this universe 😂. It’s the perfect match for his Plan A, B, C, X, Y, and Z. I like to imagine that before Rhaenyra took her daughters to Dragonstone, Otto was telling Aegon things like “bring Jace flowers!” and “wash your hair!” to help the romance along. I wouldn’t be surprised if at some point, Otto straight up told Aegon “you need to marry that girl no matter what” (and it’d be hilarious if this planted the seed of the elopement in Aegon’s head).

Tyroshi purple is basically the real-world Tyrian purple, which was made from sea snails and so expensive that only royalty could afford it. I thought it very fitting for Jace, who’s supposed to be the future queen. The color also reminds me of wine, but I worked so hard to make Aegon not an alcoholic that I didn’t want to mention it in the fic 😛.

When Aegon avoids telling Jace his real, dark thoughts, we get a glimpse of how he tries to protect her from bad things in life. This is a point of friction that comes up again in the fic: Aegon thinks it’s best not to tell Jace certain things, and she disagrees.

Jace doesn’t like naps because she thinks they’re a waste of time when she could be doing work 🥲.

When Aegon is in the Tower with Otto, he notices a petition about thugs extorting money from guild members. This is also a reference to the Tyroshi’s doings!

Otto is a neat freak, Aegon knows it, and Aegon takes advantage of it for fleeting moments of malicious glee.

I also have a whole list of old people habits that Otto partakes in. Here, Aegon references Otto’s daily glass of prune juice, but I won’t go into detail about that 🙈. I also imagine Otto taking brisk early morning walks around the Tower, with his elbows pumping in a very old man way, to get his daily cardio in.

I made Otto’s late wife a member of House Mullendore. They’re vassals of the Hightowers, so it’s an acceptable match for a second son. (The Mullendores sided with the Blacks during the Dance, so I’m headcanoning that Otto had a terrible falling-out with them after his wife died.) More importantly, their sigil is a bunch of orange butterflies (see: Helaena’s embroidery that Otto displays in his study). We all know Helaena loves insects, and I feel like this is an extra reason she’s Otto’s favorite: her hobby reminds him of his wife.

Otto is generally happy with how things are going in this verse. Of course he would prefer if Aegon were the heir, but right now he’s guaranteed to have his blood on the throne even if it’s a few generations down the road, and he finds Jace to be reasonable, intelligent, and dutiful. But Otto is still sneaky, because he’s Otto. When he talks about “a royal grandson,” does he mean Rhaenyra’s grandson (baby gets his claim as Jace’s son) or Viserys’s grandson (baby gets his claim as Aegon’s son)? 🧐

Otto supports Jace attending the Small Council because her fate and reputation are closely tied to Aegon’s. If she does well, that reflects well upon her husband. Otto is also aware that if/when Rhaenyra is queen, she’ll want to sack him and send him away from court. But if he maintains a good relationship with Jace, who would be the Princess of Dragonstone at that time, he’ll still be able to retain influence at court not just through Alicent, who would then be dowager queen and less powerful. And if Jace demonstrates herself to be more capable at governance than Rhaenyra (who is less diligent about attending matters of state), Otto isn’t going to say no to that.

Jace knows that Otto has clashed with Rhaenyra in the past and that he has emotionally and physically hurt Aegon, so she doesn’t like Otto as a person. But she appreciates his skill as Hand and respects him professionally. So she’s willing to work with him, but she isn’t leaping at the prospect of spending time with him. And I think that suits Otto just fine. He doesn’t want to be liked, he wants results.

Sorry I couldn’t resist making a “we forgot Daeron existed” joke 🪦.

I really like Aegon and Aemond’s brotherly relationship, and I don’t see nearly enough of it in fics so I had to make my own contribution. Even in the show canon, where Aemond covets the throne and scorns Aegon, he’s still loyal to his brother and they have that brotherly telepathy moment during the last supper. In this verse, they’re much closer but they are still mean to each other in a delightfully sibling fashion. After his relationship with Jace (and eventually Cheeseball), I think Aegon’s relationship with Aemond is his most meaningful relationship in this fic, and I’ll probably keep tugging on it throughout the series.

Aegon won’t admit it but he’s excited to tell his brothers he’s gonna be a dad 🥰.

Daeron spent the last three years in Oldtown, which is the heart of the Faith, so the sex ed he received was very…censored 😅. And since he spent so long thinking that kissing = babies, you can imagine he has a strong reaction when he accidentally kisses Joff later.

Joff has plenty of older sisters (including Baela), and Rhaenyra and Daemon aren’t very quiet at Dragonstone. Thus, Joff figures out how procreation works as a young age 💀.

Aemond does not tell Daeron what a quim is. He tells Daeron to go ask a maester.

As mentioned in Chapter 10, Aegon knows Baela was/is attracted to Jace, and this is a big source of friction between them. But Baela’s never acted on her feelings, and Aegon feels fairly secure in Jace’s affections, so he doesn’t talk about it out loud. But if Baela ever provoked him enough, he would mention it to get back at her (Aegon still has a mean streak, he’s just better at suppressing it).

Helaena’s three egg-shaped beads are a reference to the children she’ll never have in this verse. I’m of the opinion that her prophecies are very vague and mostly vibes (e.g. “he’ll have to close an eye” = she sees Aemond riding a dragon with one eye closed, like an extended wink). So she definitely doesn’t know “ah yes, Jaehaerys and Jaehaera and Maelor, who are all going to die terribly,” but she has a sense of the children she would’ve loved and lost in another life. So she’s a bit sad about not having those children in this life, but part of her is relieved she’ll never have to endure the horrible loss and suffering her children’s deaths caused.

“Sunflowers should not be watered with wine.” Helaena compares Jace to the sun (“to the sun I go”), which makes Aegon a sunflower that’s always turning to face the sun. He isn’t an alcoholic here, so he’s thriving more.

“The egg is crowned with gold, and all the creatures love it so.” The egg is Cheeseball, of course. He’s crowned with gold because he’ll be king one day, and gold is his parents’ color. The creatures = dragons, seahorses, towers, etc., all the houses with competing claims to the throne but who all agree that Cheeseball is the future king.

“Buzz, buzz. Your hive has gathered.” Jace is the queen bee, but she’s also constantly working like a bee.

“A lovely summer egg.” Cheeseball is born toward the end of summer. Also a reference to how his future reign will be peaceful and prosperous.

“A beloved egg free from sorrow.” In contrast to Helaena’s children/eggs 🥲.

Helaena’s freak out about the name Jaehaerys is 100% a reference to Blood and Cheese. Again, she doesn’t know exactly what would’ve happened in this alternate universe, but she’s getting very bad vibes from the name.

Jace despairs at the prospect of being coddled for the entire pregnancy, which is exactly what happens…

Laenor wasn’t a paragon of fatherhood but he was more present in this universe. The girls being his actual daughters does affect his feelings for them, and I think he likes having daughters. He would have to help educate and train a son, but he can just spoil and dote on daughters. (Pretty similar to Aegon’s attitude in the beginning of this fic.) So Laenor makes a lot more visits to the nursery when the kids are little, hence Aegon’s familiarity with him.

I wrote the interlude because we see almost all the other siblings’ reactions to the pregnancy, but not Luce. I just couldn’t bring myself to delete it with the other reaction POVs so I kept it in 😅. I justify it by telling myself that it’s important setup for the Baratheon drama later lol (even though at the time I wrote this chapter, I wasn’t sure Floris and Sara were going to die, so this is the author retconning).

Rhaenyra made Jace wait until her sixteenth nameday, so she’s applying that rule to all her daughters: no marriage until you’re sixteen. That’s why Luce has to wait. And if the Baratheon stuff didn’t happen later, it would 100% have been a smart move. Luce is very impulsive, and she and Aemond were clashing for so long, it’s wiser to wait and make sure they’re in this for the long haul and not just acting on hormones.

Aemond had visited Driftmark four times in the past month, which means he’s there every week for several days 😂.

I like to think Daemon told Caraxes to tell Arrax to make sure Luce and Aemond don’t have too much fun 🤭. And for some reason, I imagine Arrax looking a lot like a light fury from How to Train Your Dragon. Big eyes and shiny scales.

Earlier in the chapter, we get a monologue about how Aegon would starve to keep Jace fed. Here, Aemond is literally stealing Luce’s lunch 🤣🤣🤣.

Jace knows her sister super well! That’s why she tells Luce to sit down before she continues the letter: she knows Luce is going to have a strong reaction.

Jace loves all her sisters but I think she’s closest to Luce. They’re less than two years apart in age, and Joff was born four years after Luce, so a lot of Jace’s earliest memories are just the two of them as sisters. Just like how Aemond is one of Aegon’s most important relationships, Luce is one of Jace’s most important relationships.

Chapter 3 commentary here

[quillandrapier]

So this brilliant post by @thatgordongirl goes through each instance of where a piece of info ghosts' lives is revealed in season 1.

And it sent me sprialing where I came to an important conclusion about Julian (okay minor but kinda huge in a way) that Julian by the shows own lore must have not have been an MP during the years 1987-1991. Which I find weird but actually makes a lot of sense.

That's the important part, but I'm gonna delve a bit deeper on my reasoning and explain a little of the British political system. (I'm a touch rusty as I've not done British politics in 4 years but still) if you want to skip the preamble explaining British politics go to the line "Between elections".

So Britain is a parliamentary democracy. Unlike America, in our national elections we don't vote for our president or Prime Minster or even a party, we are only electing our local MP. Each election we elect one MP to a have a seat in our House of Commons to represent our concerns in Parliament.

While the MP may be a member of a Political Party and vote in line with how the larger political party wishes them to do, we actually are voting for an individual MP. However, in practice most people vote for the candidate that represents the party that best aligns with their political views and is most feesiable to win and don't really care WHO is running for each party.

Britain's two main parties are The Labour Party and The e Conservatives, which are nicknamed Tories. Julian was a member of the Conservatives, hence the term dead tory politian. We also have other Political parties such as the Liberal Democrats, SNP and the Green Party which was Julian's daughter, Rachel's, political party. The Green Party is basically the opposite of the Tory Party. (Which is why Julian is at first confused but goes, hey they all can't be perfect)

So when he ran for position of MP he would have been Julian Fawcett for the Conservative Party.

And the only way we get a new MP in a seat is through the position becoming vacant or through a general election. The general elections between 1980 and Julian's death took place in 1983, 1987 and 1992.

Between elections the only way we get a new MP is either when an MP dies in office or has to resign. The term used is when the seat is vacant.

So why would Julian run for a by-election if he already had a constituency? If he was already an MP he would not had been eligible to run in a by-election. While he could have resigned, then ran again the reason for a politian like Julian resigning would have been due to scandal. It would be politically crazy to run and win the same by-election and unlikely.

Also Julian was an MP in 1986 (as we see above having put the Bramptons through MPs expenses) so probably ran and won his election in 1983 (the one with the slogan "oh not him" from the episode, The hardest word in season 4)

The only way him contesting a by-election in 1991 makes sense is if he lost or did not stand in the 1987 General Election. This may be due to a mryiad of reasons but prehaps something about his image in 1987 made him lose.

Although he may have not have run in 87 take up a different office such as mayor of an area like Boris Johnson or Sadiq Khan for London. However if he didn't stand for this reason and then lost the mayor race then he'd be eligible to run in 1991.

But again the simplest explanation is that he lost in 87

So the Julian timeline is:

Wins in 1983 election and has a term that lasts until the 1987 General Election where he loses his seat. (Prehaps due to the expenses stuff from 1986)

He then runs for the contested seat in the 1991 by-election which he wins and maintains until the 1992 General Election. This is also where Julian solves the crisis by starting a war.

He then wins the 1992 election meaning upon his death he is the MP who dies in a sex scandal rather than a former MP who dies in a sex scandal. Which also means he's triggered another by election.

He may have also been re-elected in 1987, had to resign for some reason and then ran again in 1991. But that's quite convoluted for a backbencher. (@partywithponies pointed out to me he's mostly likely to be a backbencher rather than a prominent MP which... Fair enough)

Or this is all nonsense and was not meant to read into this much. I genuinely thought it was a mistake at first but if this is the timeline this makes sense.

So yeah Julian might not of been an MP during the years 1987-1991 which is strange to think since MP is like half his identity. Also what did Julian do for those years he weren't an MP, he certainly wasn't rasing his kid.

On that point, for a politian who often has to care about his image, having a child between the two elections make sense, to help rebrand his image into a "family" man. It's kinda cynical but makes sense.

Sidenote: MPs arent techincally allowed to resign, Tom Scott talks about it here. However when an MP is removed from a seat by a method that isn't death, most people call it resigning.

[airbrushfather]

@paz-45 asked so here are my 5 ee tattoos lmao (warning for me just rambling absolute shit under the cut)

my first ever tattoo - jon's handwriting and a wild wave because i love violent sun so much. looking back the handwriting tattoo isn't something i'd do today but it's what got me started on getting tats at all and i had a very positive experience (both w getting it and w asking jon for the writing lmao)

the teeth are not related, for the record. writing is about 6 months healed in this pic and almost 18 months healed now. also i know no one asked but since i love talking about tattoos - this is on the outside of my forearm and the pain was about a 3/10. super easy placement if you want somewhere to put a first tattoo that won't kill you off immediately.

classic lil gth hand. i always forget i have this because it's on the back of my arm (hence the bad photo too, say hello to my ear) but i do rlly love it, my artist did a very good job. it's about 5 months healed in this pic and just under 18 months healed now. this is on the back of my upper arm, the pain was probably a 4/10. a little spicy towards the inside but nowhere near the worst, certainly less painful than the inside of the bicep for instance. i also never find colour that bad (lines are worse imo) but i know some people do, so i guess if you came to this post looking for genuine tattoo advice, take that into consideration

these eyes are, technically, ee related - and please excuse this horrible photo, they're really hard to get a pic of! but me and my artist designed them together based on put me together's bridge - 'is it the darkest night/or is that dawn in your eyes?' it's a very important song to me and i love these tattoos, especially the dawn one with all the little details. it actually looks a little better now it's healed, it's settled into itself a lot more. they're super fresh in this pic (less than a month each, i got them within about a week of each other) and about a year healed now

pain wise this is a rough placement. the bottom one especially was one of my most painful tattoos - probably an 8/10. it proved i could never tattoo my actual knee because i genuinely had a terrible time of it. though weirdly the top one was really easy, probably a 6/10

i find this one incredibly hard to photograph bc of the way it wraps but my favourite line from final form (i stole the idea from someone in atb but it's one of my favourite sentiments, as in, this is my first body so i will make mistakes, and it is my last body so i will look after it). i broke one of my only tattoo rules for this too, which was No Words. i doubt i'll get any more words after this bc i don't think they'd really fit very well w the rest of mine, but i thought this was a really nice way to cuff my patchwork arm.

it's about 6 months healed in this video (from today). pain was probably another 8/10, wrist is a very spicy placement but not the worst one by any stretch. the outside (first body) was easier than the inside (last body) and it was definitely tolerable, tbh it was almost more annoying to heal than it was to get

i do have plans for more ee related tattoos (i want to get one from each album, so i have arc and rdf left to conquer) but atm i can't get anything because i have serious trust issies w new tattooists (and i love my artists who i know already) and my shop is currently 200 miles away. i'll probably get one in summertime if i have the money. i really like that for the most part they're not super obvious what they are, even the hand isn't bam in your face this is album artwork unless you're in the know. no hate to those kind of tattoos (ive seen some sick tattoos of the whole gth cover or at least the entire guy) it's just not my kind of thing, i like to be mysterious.

sorry for talking so much, but getting tattoos is my only personality trait. i could and would literally speak about it all day. consider this your formal piece of danny's tattoo advice. none of these are my most painful placements and none were my most painful tattoos, but everybody is different so if you genuinely do want this advice, take it with a grain of salt. and if anyone wants more of my advice/further tattoo tours, feel free to ask (idk why you'd want advice from me but i have probably about 40 tattoos at this point and i want to talk about it. because i'm boring and inufferable. i'm A Tattoo Person. this is my coming out </3)

cheers for looking x

[eldritchmochi]

okay so, to have a place for consolidated information for the next little bit, since i'm sure folks have QUESTIONS given my incredibly aggressive gallows humour

MOCHI, WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT?? (guts edition)

if you got here via a link, follow this link instead for the latest update here's updates 1.5, 2.0, and 3.0 !

tldr ive been getting a number of recurrent small bowel obstructions located in my duodenum (first part of the small intestine, connecting the stomach to the rest of the bowel) due to external pressure on the duodenum around the 3rd to 4th (of 4) section. what's causing the pressure?? no clue actually ive done a bazillion scans and none of them have been quite clear enough for a real confident dx so i get to have surgery about it at some point in the near future

current theory is the pressure is from some sort of non-cancerous tumor mass and the plan is to cut me open nice and big, look about, and remove both this mass and the affected section of the duodenum (.5 of an organ) at a minimum, but may involve fully bipassing the duodenum when my guts get hooked back up to my stomach which could (would???) also require removing my gallbladder (1 and 2 organs respectively) (i'm having so much yanked out of my abdomen this summer jfc)

atm i'm still waiting for scheduling to give me a call to set things up. surgeon's estimate was 4-5 weeks from now (8/17 when he called). from that point i'll spend a week-ish in the hospital to make sure all hoses are firmly affixed, and then i'll have a month at a minimum before i'm reasonably healed and can go back to normal life

i have good insurance and the luck (????) of being incredibly ill at the best of times, so i've already hit my out of pocket max and thus this WHOLE THING even back dating to my first er visit end of june will cost a whopping 189$ that i've already paid. i also should qualify for my states paid medical leave and my wife will get a hefty chunk of change for living expenses via student loans. however, both those things won't hit until late september at the earliest

long term, im not expecting much of a financial burden, but short term we could use a hand with groceries and similar while we wait for my backpay and my wife's student loans

for venmo and paypal: i am @/sumomomochi for both and either is fine, though pp is labeled as a business account so pls mark f&f if you can

i also have this amazon wishlist ( https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/N1NSTH3JPCX2?ref_=wl_share ) that is like 90% meal replacement shakes and bulk shelf stable snacks, but also has a couple of other useful things like bathing wipes since i am unlikely to be able to shower well post surgery, pj pants for when it cools down (i went up a size with t because my ass and thighs got just so beefy and thus have one pair that fits rn lmao), and cat food for the penni (gotta keep my nurse well paid)

uuuh what else

like i said, i'm incredibly ill at the best of times so i am a champ at weathering this sort of stuff its nbd. "i'm sorry"s are not helpful, i'd much rather have people ask direct specific questions, either about my health status or things i'm doing to keep busy (ie "any new and fun things causing tummy issues?" or "hows your battle vest coming?" or "whats your fav line youve written this week?"). engagement and entertainment is Important to keep me from climbing the walls but i swear i will bite at straight sympathy

things ive been doing to keep me out of the er include: laying on my left side or stomach (The Digestion Position; helps get food past the squished part); eating a semi-liquid diet (hence ensure, jello, pudding, the like, though its important that i also eat solid food as much as is tolerated, which is such a delicate balance. this is why i cannot currently work); going on stupid little walks for my stupid digestive health (honestly the most important thing i can do, which im mad about, because it requires pants, but not only encourages guts to digest but also will help me not decondition, which i have already done a lot of :I)

things YOU can do to help (because i know *i* am a helper but also what is actually helpful??): financially with the above deets (no pressure); asks, comments, and other conversational interactions (i am absolutely chill with basically any kind of question and i dont mind dms if youd prefer privacy, just dont pedestal me i promise i am just A Dude); fanart for my fics (i do not care if you "cant draw" i will still love it); prompts for fandom but not necessarily fic projects (wardrobe moodboards/meta for characters, playlists/songs, smut writing how to questions, cosplay progress/plans qs, those "what was x's pov in this scene/what specifically happened between x and y in this fic?" qs andor other ask meme things idk dude i haven't been able to do shit for almost three months im booooored)

in conclusion

nurse penni says do not worry about herb patient, he is in good hands, just be sure to offer regular enrichment

[gingerbreadmonsters]

Hey Ginger~~😀💖 I must know, what on earth was going through your mind when you wrote resist and elongate? I love it dearly, but wtf? (affectionate) 💕💕

And for a (slightly) more specific question, what inspired you to write it the way you did? Mixing the creative acts of violence with the uhh... delicious sexual tension between our fave demon×demon couple~💓

pinksparkl is talking about this ask game here (still open!)

hiya!! let’s talk resist and elongate - buckle up, because when i said director’s commentary i meant it, so this is going to be a long one lol 💕💕💕

EDIT: hello it is post-commentary ginger coming back up to the top of the post - i said it would be long, but this ended up MUCH longer than i thought it would be (its like 4k?? somehow??) 💀💀 for ease of navigation, i’ve moved the bit where i actually answer the question up to just underneath the cut, which will then be followed by the actual commentary (which i wrote first). apologies!

CONTENT WARNING: this post is about a fic that contains lots of murder, gore, explicit nsfw and a whole host of other dark things. check the warnings on the actual fic here before you read! 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. thank you.

can’t lie, violence and sexual tension is basically what i go to the carpe deus storyline for, so it’s never far from my mind when it comes to these two… to be honest, i’m not really sure how it ended up like this - it just all kind of… happened? i had had the idea of warden and vega going back to the prison for revenge basically since vega’s most recent audio had come out, i had just finished oops-a-daisy and i’d enjoyed writing vega and warden’s dynamic so much that i was in the mood for more, and i’d been chatting with the ladies on discord about potentially writing the two of them getting it on - it was basically the perfect storm!

i should… probably explain the title, now that i think about it? for those who may not know i’ve danced ballet basically since i was 4 years old, and the phrase ‘resist and elongate’ was my ballet teacher’s favourite thing to say in the whole entire world (other than ‘put your ribs away!’ and ‘[ginger] pull your knees up!’) when i was growing up, so i heard it a lot!

it refers to the two-way stretch of a plie (hence why the intro blurb begins with ‘the two-way stretch’), where even though you’re bending your knees, you’re supposed to simultaneously pull upwards and feel like you’re getting taller. it’s like having a helium balloon attached to your head - you should feel your spine stretching and getting longer, like your head is staying in the same place even though your body is getting close to the ground? you’re trying not to move (hence ‘resist’) while trying to make your body as long and stretched out as possible (hence ‘elongate’). and it sounds absolutely horrific when you write it down, but that sensation is a very important part of proper ballet posture and technique.

that feeling, of pulling up and down all at once, of trying to stay within the lines - that feeling is what this fic is based on! warden stretching and being stretched in two opposite directions, musculature straining to accommodate it, feeling heavy and light at the same time.

the opening, in the rainy greyness outside the containment facility, is mostly there for cinematic effect - setting up warden’s rapport with vega, how they talk to each other, how their relationship stands in the aftermath of oops-a-daisy, etc etc. the detail about warden’s back aching in the cold is actually from me - when i’m out in the rain or when it’s cold, i tend to hold a lot of tension in my shoulder blades and mid-back, which then makes them ache. it doesn’t really bear too much on the narrative, it’s just a fun fact lol

i don’t like to make warden too passive - they’re not so much vega’s prisoner as they are his sparring partner (quite literally, in play it koi!), both because i like imagining their relationship that way and also because it makes for much more interesting dialogue. they know that he doesn’t always tell the truth and that they’re being manipulated, but they also know that vega is aware that they’re onto him - it creates a wonderful sort of verbal chess, where neither wants to back down but also they don’t actually want to win. they want to keep playing, and it’s fun to play.

the bit in the security office - this was originally not going to be as long or complicated as it ended up being! my original idea was that:

they would go into the room, with about five or six people in there, and vega would freeze them all in place as normal

warden would get to choose one of them at random - the rest would be psychokinetically crushed to death by vega

the one remaining human would begin to choke, and the peony would grow its way up and out of their throat - vega snaps the human’s neck with the stem inside, then take the flower out of the mouth and offer it to warden

as you can see, that’s… not what ended up happening. i added more officers to make the situation a bit more interesting and give the world a bit more depth - with only a few, it doesn’t feel as fleshed-out. vega freezes them instead of crushing them because i had the most horrible thought about whether or not the water would separate out of someone’s blood if you froze them to death and then left them out at room temperature to thaw out again. the peony grows out of the superintendent’s chest because i came up with a cool line about her ribs collapsing that i wanted to put in, and also i thought it made for a more interesting mental image.

(another fun fact: vega’s “No, no - don’t get up… I’ll get it.” line was inspired by a similar line from portal 2, when glados tells chell not to worry as she moves debris out of the way - the way that line is delivered is just perfect, and that was exactly the sort of energy i wanted vega to be channelling in this exchange!)

there are two reasons why the flower is a peony, and not a romantic flower like a rose, or a funeral flower like a lily. one is that in china, the peony is the ‘king of flowers’, associated not only with things like honour, prosperity, and nobility, but also beauty, luck, affection, and romantic desire. the other is that my mum has a tree peony, so i know how big they are, and can reasonably describe what they look and feel like lmao

the peony dripping blood was a last-minute addition, but one that i really really like! it makes sense considering that this flower was literally growing out of a human body - it was attached to the body, so it needed some way of getting nutrition out of its so-called ‘soil’. also, the actual image of a flower bleeding is horrific! imagine what would happen if you picked a flower in the garden, and it just started bleeding on you - if the stem snapped and all of a sudden it just started pouring blood all down your hand and onto the ground. it would be awful, right? it was exactly the sort of horror-film violin stab that the scene needed to finish it off, so i just kind of went for it!

the cell corridor is one of those scenes that just completely made itself up on the spot - i’ll do this bit as bullet points, because otherwise this will be an absolute monster paragraph.

the whole thing about stealths needing cells with bars literally has no meaning - i wanted the aesthetic of old-fashioned jail cells, but modern prisons have solid doors, so i just came up with whatever justification i could for bar-fronted cells lol

the line about ‘you’re calling it a date, law enforcement is probably calling it a spree’ was one of the first lines i wrote for this, and is probably one of my favourites of the whole thing!

the spit kink was unintentional, but it just made sense so i left it in? and now i can’t imagine them without it? idk it just fits and now i’m totally onboard - it was one of those moments where i was typing away sort of on autopilot, then re-read what i just wrote and immediately thought ‘do i need to mention this to my therapist’

the thing about the indirect kiss off of vega’s tail was always going to be in there at some point - indirect kiss tropes are so fussy and cutesy to me, which is exactly what a fic about gore and blood and death needs

that reminds me - the whole ‘professor’ thing is in reference to the ‘diagnose me, doctor vega!’ line from oops-a-daisy, because i think it’s funny lol

(if anyone wants to actually write the ‘warden and vega playing doctor’ medfet fic, you have my full support - it sounds fun!)

this was originally going to be the sexy bit! the plan was to go MUCH heavier on the exhibitionism, with warden basically clinging onto one of the cell doors as vega fucks them - they can see the people in the cells, but they can’t be seen in return because of the phasecloak and the light-diffusing warding over the cell doors. in the end, i got rid of it because i was finding it REALLY difficult to write, and also because making plot happen after a sex scene is very tricky - the characters get all tired and snoozy, which is very cute but i find makes it quite hard to launch back into the action.

fun fact number 3: i did a LOT of googling to try and make all of the prison job titles (superintendents, behavioural specialists, correctional officers, etc) sound re jkialistic, and as such i was inundated with job adverts popping up on my laptop about working for HMPS and CPS (not the american Child Protective Services, the british Crown Prosecution Service) for the next two weeks. it was a time.

the part where warden kills the warding officer for a snack… i remember teasing part of this as a wip wednesday or something, and it was SO funny because all of the replies were like ‘omg they’re so cute!! they r talking about avocados it is adorable!! sweet babies they r in love!! - meanwhile i was sitting there with the entire scene in front of me, knowing that the snack they were sharing was a still-warm human heart 🤐🤐

actually, i should probably talk about the whole eating people thing. to me, they’re not cannibals as such - they obviously don’t eat humans for nutrition, or because they think that all humans do it. it’s partly for scare factor (warden does it because they know it’s going to freak the warding officer out), and partly because they enjoy the physical sensation of eating? like, they don’t NEED to eat, but they do it anyway because the feelings of chewing, swallowing, and being full are all pleasant to them. i very very lightly mentioned it in get in, loser! when freelancer talks about gavin occasionally drinking blood when he’s with vincent, the same way he might drink anything else - because as far as he’s concerned it all has the same nutritional value (i.e. zero) - but he generally prefers the taste of other drinks (in that case i believe it was buck’s fizz?). warden here is the same - they like the taste and the sensation, in the same way that you or i might like eating raw meat or fish (e.g. smoked salmon, sushi, steak tartare, raw oysters, etc), not the idea of cannibalism.

to be honest, they’re not really thinking about the ethical implications of killing and eating a human in that scene. warden, throughout this fic, is very clearly coming to think of themselves as separate from DUMP, and from humanity as a whole - they start to refer to them less as ‘people’, and more as just ‘humans’. if you go back and have a look at oops-a-daisy and resist and elongate, you can see how the way they speak about humanity changes quite a lot over time!

THE LADY WHO DIES. right. we should probably talk about that.

the entire purpose of this moment is to bring us back to the reality of the situation - that a) what vega and warden are doing is morally objectionable at best and downright unforgivable at worst, and b) they are in a very dangerous situation that carries with it a decent probability of being caught and imprisoned (and, considering they still have the death penalty in america, probably executed). it’s all been a bit too light and sweet and fluffy! i really wanted to make the point that warden isn’t completely away with the fairies - they’re genuinely appalled when they accidentally kill their ex-coworker (hence ‘going to be sick’), and they’re conscious that what they’re doing is illegal and morally reprehensible. the tension between the sugary, heady romance that warden has with vega, and the bloody, criminal reality of what they’re doing, is really a running theme of this fic that i tried to make obvious, although i’m not sure if it comes through all that strongly at times.

speaking of running themes, i seem to have a thing for false hope when it comes to these two - first it’s the correctional officer who thinks warden’s going to save him, and now in easy pickings it’s the bride who thinks vega’s going to save her! it’s a total coincidence, and i hadn’t even considered that when i wrote either of them, but we can say it’s a recurring trope or something if you like lol

zo, hala and rae can all attest to how fucking LONG it took me to write the actual sex scene - i think it ended up taking me some weeks, by which point i was so utterly fed up with it that i just wanted it to be over at any cost! i’m not very quick at writing at the best of times, and smut takes so much longer than anything else for me, so it was all just a lot. i didn’t really have a plan for how it was going to pan out - i basically just let them get on with it, and just wrote it down as i saw it, which included a very poorly-drawn diagram that i sent on discord, and a lot of awkward contortion as i was trying to figure out how to describe what they were doing!

when i’m having trouble with a scene, i generally just write the pure dialogue first, then go back in and add all of the surrounding detail later. aside from him just generally being the type to talk a lot (see: both imperium!vega BAs), that’s part of the reason why vega is so verbose during this whole bit. it was a lot of fun to write, though - my personal opinion is that the dirty talk is always the most fun part of writing smut! the little vocalisations and filler words are a little bit annoying to get right (there’s not really a good way to express a lot of them in dialogue that doesn’t look completely ridiculous??), but i get to come up with all sorts of cool lines and fun little turns of phrase for them to use, so i’m happy with that 🥰🥰

(the line “Have I fucked you stupid already?” was an early addition, and it’s another of my favourites from this fic - i think that might say something about me that i’m not sure should be put into words, but i already wrote this fic and you already read it, so really how much more damage can it do yk)

on a related note: if you know a fic writer who writes good body-neutral smut, please go right now and give them a big round of applause, or buy them an ice cream or something, because it is TRICKY! there are a lot of words that you can’t say because they imply the wrong thing, and it’s incredibly tough to string everything together because there are certain positions and functions and bits of the body that you just can’t be specific about or describe - it can be a real headache! gender-neutral/body-neutral smut writers of the world, i salute you 🫡🤩

fun fact number 4: vega never says ‘i love you’ anywhere in this fic, or in oops-a-daisy - this is on purpose! i deliberately held that back, because i don’t think it’s the sort of thing that vega would want say it out loud just yet - he doesn’t want to expose that vulnerability until he’s absolutely sure that warden isn’t going to take advantage of it, and he’s also morbidly curious about how long it’s going to take warden to say it first. he can feel how they feel about him, and he’s roughly aware that they’re falling in love with him, but he doesn’t want to look needy or desperate for their attention. the kind of affection that warden gives him is something that was mostly unfamiliar to him, and he doesn’t want to let on just how deeply he cares for them - he’s not even really sure, at this point, how much he cares for them.

the central premise of the fic is essentially ‘warden and vega go on a killing spree in the prison’ - that idea comes from a) i want to see a warden who has genuinely changed - who is all in on vega and chooses his path over their previous one, and b) i think vega would be the sort of person who would enjoy doing things for warden? he offers warden anything they want, as a sort of reward for sticking with him and choosing him over DUMP, in the way that you might get someone a thank-you gift for doing you a favour. it just feels like the sort of thing he would do - that he’d want to take care of warden, and show his affection for them by doing something nice for them.

in vega’s most recent audio (which was eight months ago in effing JANUARY, ERIK WHERE IS HE), he managed to get warden to agree to come with him for one reason or another - although we don’t exactly know warden’s real motivation for doing so (whether they’re actually in love with him, or just morbidly curious, or whatever). personally, i like to imagine that warden is actually in love with vega (even if they don’t always show it) - my versions of vega and warden are basically living out the ultimate joker-and-harley fantasy, minus the abuse!

as such, that’s really where the whole idea of them going out on a murder date originates - it’s drawing on a sort of fairy tale-y, arthurian knight-type of idea of winning a lady’s favour through physical endeavour, of protecting a charge, of being sent off on a quest. it’s warden’s way of testing their own power over him, and vega’s way of generously capitulating to the demands of someone he knows is less powerful than him, while admiring the effect he’s had on them. they love each other in a way that’s a little bit confusing to them, and their way of showing that love is therefore somewhat… unconventional.

my way of doing vega and warden is very much to frame them like aliens undercover on their first day on earth - they have a rough idea of what they’re meant to look like, how they should behave, the sorts of things that humans do, but they don’t really understand why. they’re both just so delightfully weird - vega is an ideological fanatic who wants to reform the entire structure of demon society because he doesn’t like humans and is also like a million years old or something, and warden is a well-meaning DUMP prison employee who has noble dreams of reforming prisoners, but can’t quite make it stick in a system that doesn’t really care to help them.

they know what love is, and they’re capable of all the same feelings as humans are, but as creatures of pure magic and emotion it affects them very differently to how it would a human. they feel things incredibly deeply, and often find it a little more challenging to regulate those feelings because their entire states of being are made of a substance that is intensely tied to emotion. i do this to demons like gavin, too (see peaches and cream, r.e. gavin’s response to freelancer’s death and the lengths he goes to to bring them back), but it’s most obvious in my warden and vega because they’re both reacting to and playing off of each other.

they also have a different way of perceiving physical sensations to humans. it takes them much longer to get used to feeling things with a physical body because it’s not their natural state, and they’re quite picky about which sensations they like and don’t like. they’ll actively phase to avoid touching something they don’t like, or go out of their way to experience a physical sensation that they enjoy (e.g. warden eating the warding officer’s heart because they like the way it feels in their mouth and throat, and the physical feeling of chewing, swallowing, and satisfying fullness in their stomach that are associated with the act of eating).

(before you say ‘wow, ginger! these traits that you give demons - the characters you like readers to identify and sympathise with - about understanding other people and fitting into society and managing emotional and physical sensations and responses is probably indicative of something undiagnosed happening in your own brain, ginger!’ yes i KNOW, i’m just not DOING anything about it)

ultimately, resist and elongate is a love story on steroids, with conventional tropes blown utterly out of proportion - vega wants to protect warden from people who have hurt them, so he tracks them down and theatrically murders them for warden’s entertainment. he gives them a beautiful flower as a present, which he grew for them by killing a woman and using her body to feed it. warden wants to share a snack with him, so they tear out a man’s heart and offer vega a bite. basically, it’s a romance for people whose love language is first-degree murder.

quickfire fun facts that i forgot to put elsewhere:

vega does kill that final remaining human while warden’s slightly out of it - the “mangled, twisted body on the ground, splintered bone punching through tattered skin” at the end is that human!

warden’s mental image of vega reading a romance novel on a sun lounger at the beach is apropos of nothing, but maybe one day i’ll send them on a beach holiday or something? it would be kind of sweet to have them trying to blend in at the beach and utterly failing because they a) don’t have bodies that naturally tan in sunlight, b) probably don’t know what swimming is or why humans want to go in the water when their bodies aren’t designed for it, and c) can’t figure out why it’s normally not acceptable to just walk around in your underwear, but everyone here at the beach seems to think it’s fine

the ferris wheel on the carnival token that vega gives warden is not a reference to the in-universe city of ferris - it’s just because it makes it obvious what the token is for, and that it’s not meant to just be a normal coin

the part in the security room where vega makes everything float was inspired by a scene from x-men - i think it’s the bit in days of future past when they’re in the kitchen and magneto makes everything fly up in the air, and quicksilver is running around while everyone else is in slow motion. it’s just a cool scene (you can find it on youtube!), and i thought it would be fun to write about

you were absolutely correct - i might talk about it more if someone asks about have and hold, but yes, this fic is referenced there! after freelancer escapes the museum, they find themselves in the security room post-warden-and-vega, with all the frozen bodies on the floor and the peony growing out of the superintendent. that’s why freelancer “barely even [notices] the blood dripping from the forgotten stem, or running down [their] chin with every mouthful” - it’s got blood in it because warden’s did, too!

[starryostar]

Its time

for a shitty tutorial i made in my sketchbook at work.

Lets begin.

this page.... is alright.

"Start with a circle. This will be the basis for your revolution" "It doesn't even have to be good"

The basic shape of heads in my style is just a circle. Circles are good! Hence the next part. The first one doesn't need to be good because its mostly going to be erased or obscured: it mostly serves as a guide. Or a basis, if you would.

"Continue with additional circles. Use guidelines Or don't." "These ones should be okay, they're eyes."

This is the only instance in which I acknowledge guidelines. I encourage their use! It helps.

'These ones should be okay' yeah no what i mean is that these ones should be treated with more importance because theyre not going to be erased or obscured as much, because theyre going to serve as her glasses, which for all intent and purposes, is her eyes.

Moving on.

This is where madness and incomprehensibility sets in. Okay.

"Add facial detail. Nose, mouth, eyelash thing, bridge of the glasses (if necessary)." "Nose and mouth are close on a bunny."

This, for the most part, I feel, doesn't require that much clarification. But I will clarify anyways: when I say (if necessary) re: the bridge of the glasses, that's if they are distant enough to not be touching. Sometimes they're not, and the circles touch on their own; the bridge is unnecessary in that case. The circles never overlap though! Not yet anyways idk.

'Nose and mouth are close on a bunny' Close Together is what I meant to say. It's my inclination to draw her facial features small and cutely unless she's showing her teeth, and compact as to fit on the first circle without needing to extend her cheeks or make a more defined chin or muzzle. But that is just me and my personal inclinations! If its in your artstyle to make the aforementioned chin or muzzle, then, feel free i guess. But Starry's face is not "long": there is very little space for the chin and forehead at most angles. That's also just my flavor of doing things. Cry about it !!!

"Hair time. The order and direction you approach from matters!" "Parts here. Do first or last." "Ive marked numbers for the order i make lines and arrows for how I make them."

Okay this is the complex part. First thing... the hair parts above her left eye with a W shape for the roots, as seen. This can either be detailed first or last, but if you're not confident in where to start drawing the first line, you should start there.

Regarding the rest of the hair, I find that working from the inside out works a lot better for creating volume than working from the outside in, and she looks nicer with more volume! It also helps to start in this way so you can make it that her hair frames her face like curtains. How much of her cheeks and chin are visible are dependent on that framing, and if it can be helped, its best to keep the lower horizontal curve in tact and hide the vertical left and right curves behind hair. That covers lines 1 and 5. Line 2 should have its end covered by line 3, line 4 is a self contained little bow shape, and line 6 has a sharper angle in it to create a more dynamic shape instead of simply cascading down. I think i might have drawn the arrow wrong for line 6... either will work. See what feels better: the volume should *not* be symmetrically distributed. And one last thing! If possible, try to make each line with a single stroke or quick gesture. You will create more natural flowing lines the quicker you try to draw them.

Moving on! Deeper into the pit.

"Hair part 2. I give her a bullshit ponytail thay defies physics..." "she has some hair leftover that frames her cheeks from behind."

I really should have elaborated more on this since its sort of important (its lab safe after all!) but it also... defies explanation. It goes up and out, down and in, then spikes 3 times. You'll either figure it out or draw something more realistic that'll slay. The hair behind her head is also a similarly complex out then in then spike; if anything, just draw the spike part behind her neck.

"If its down, its long, messy, and curly / wavy. Include the wavy shape."

Now. I think this is pretty succinct, and needs no elaboration. What i didnt mention is the errant strands that go in front of her shoulders, and just how long her hair is specifically. How long is it?

"It fucking lomg"

Yeah, you said it! Though if I had to say, dry, it would reach down to the bottom of her ribcsge, and wet, or straightened, probably down past her waistline.

Moving on.

I was starting to become cynical here! It's because my traditional looks way worse than my digital art and I have way less space to write.

"Ears. Yeah put em on. Theyre as complex as you make them. (Examples)"

Space them out to be on the left and right side of her head (some people draw bunny ears meeting in the middle: do not do this) and draw whatever you feel will be better. I try to default to v1 but if they're at an awkward position, then v2 will work better. Position can reflect emotion, but her ears tend to be upward. She's not lop-eared! it tends to get visually busy or overcomplicated if her ears are down alongside her hair, as the ears being up balances the overall mass and silhouette. They also tend to be pretty large for this purpose as well. As shapes, I tend to draw them with a straighter inside and a bow curve outside for v1. For v2, a simple oval is fine. Her ears don't tend to "bend" or fold on themselves, but if necessary, v2 works much better for this.

Dont touch them. I'll kill you

"Markings / color / other things." "I don't often include it when working in monochrome, but there's a star on the cheek and spot on the opposite eye." "This sucks doesn't it. Oh well."

I agree with you! Let's discuss this. The star is on her right cheek and the spot on her left eye always. With her glasses on, the spot looks more like an outline for the lens. They're going to be a gentle orange color. Her glasses are red and blue on her right and left, respectively: so to speak, her orange spot outlines the blue lens since they're color compliments. I make the choice to not depict any colors or markings when working with monochrome colors (meaning, just one color, like pencil on paper or making quick pen sketches on digital).

Other things that didn't get mentioned! Sometimes features of her face are visible or invisible depending on her emotions: or if they're necessary in conveying said emotions. Her mouth can sometimes be invisible, her eyebrows can sometimes become visible, and her eyes/pupils can sometimes be visible as well. When she smiles, I draw only vertical lines for her teeth. This is classic mad science shit. Get with it! If her mouth is open in a way that would show teeth, then I draw them normally, or with appropriate detail.

But that's all, i think. Now go out there and learn some damn combos. (draw her! i would like that)

[deke-rivers-1957]

Kung Fu Elvis Part 1

So going back to @skinnypantsmcgee posting a piece where different Elvis' fighting each other made me think of something. What if we rank all of Elvis' characters based on their fighting ability?

Basically what I'm gonna do is after I watch 4 films, I'm gonna rank each of Elvis' characters based on their ability to win a no weapons hand to hand combat style fight. I know Elvis did 31 films but I do not count his 2 documentaries as films so I'm only judging his 29 films. That's 7 parts with the last one having 5 films.

Ok so here we go, after I recap each of the characters including their age in the order I watch the film I'll rank them at the end. Age is important because a young 20 something fighting is different than a 30 something fighting. In some cases Elvis' character is specifically given an age in the film, but otherwise his character will be treated as if he was the same age as Elvis when he did the film.

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Ok so first review of course was the first film, Love Me Tender. This film is set during the last couple days of the Civil War and the next couple months that follow. Elvis' character was Clint Reno, the youngest brother who didn't go to war. His only occupation is being a farmer who did most of the work while his brothers were away. Since this is the 1860s it's debatable as to how much nutrition he got and because the farm wasn't doing that well we can assume this is not a well off family.

Clint is implied to be a young adult or recently became an adult. It's hard to tell because based on the dialogue and circumstances in the film, he comes off as an 18 year old. Vance said he was practically a man, he wanted to be part of the war but he couldn't go and just in general he comes off as a young man trying to prove to his brothers he's not a kid anymore. However, the tombstone saying he was 22 years old is evidence that suggests that he's older. The problem with using that to determine age is that it contradicts a line stating how much time has passed since the brothers robbed the train by having him die before they were supposed to have been arrested. Ultimately, I'll just say he's between 18 and 22 since Elvis himself can pass for someone younger than 21 his actual age at the time.

GI Blues has Tulsa McClean who's an American soldier deployed in Germany. Since this is meant to be based on Elvis' actual time in the Army this film takes place in "modern day". So let's break down Tulsa's rank. He's in the US Army and has the rank of an SP5 (Specialist 5). This rank doesn't exist anymore, however, the general rank of a Specialist does. It's an enlisted rank meaning Tulsa is not an officer, nor did he serve longer than two years as according to US conscription laws, draftees in this time period only served for two years.

Being a soldier he should be properly nourished and in good shape just to even serve. He works with tanks hence his rank as a specialist as opposed to being a regular combat soldier so that would imply he had different types of training. He's from Oklahoma and is part of a Native American family. Tulsa doesn't have a given age and we can't really determine his age since there's a big age range for eligible draftees. Therefore, I'm saying like Elvis, Tulsa was between 23-25 years old.

Deke Rivers, this blog's name sake has no given age. However based on context clues within the film such as him being old enough to deliver beer and Elvis' age at the time of filming I think it's fair to say that Deke is 22 years old. His real name is Jimmy Tompkins and lives in Texas. He's stated to be an orphan and basically had to strike out on his own after running away when the orphanage burned down.

It's unknown what he did before the film starts, but we know he dreamed of being a farmer and that he was a delivery driver for a brewery before officially becoming a singer. It's safe to say that while he probably didn't starve, he can be described as the young, scrappy, and hungry type. Hard to tell just how much he was able to eat on a regular basis, but it was probably just enough.

Finally for this part we have Rusty Wells from Girl Happy. No age is given so based on Elvis' age at time of filming for this discussion, he's 29 years old. He's a nightclub singer based in Chicago but does stints in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida during spring break. He doesn't do any heavy lifting or really anything to determine just how strong he is.

Rusty has a steady job and has enough money to get all these outfits for his performances. He should be able to have a proper diet and be fully nourished. He can dance too during his shows so he would have to at least have enough protein to help repair his muscles.

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Even though Clint is real young (18-22) and strong from being a farmer, he's not a good fighter at all. He has no experience fighting and the little fighting we do see him do, he only has the advantage because he has a gun which is disqualifying in this argument. He got rough with Kathy, but he offered no little to no resistance against his older brothers when they restrained him. Clint dying at the end doesn't matter because he got shot and this is a no weapons battle.

I can only judge this based on what we see. Even though he did little fighting, for the sake of this argument he didn't impress me with what I did see. I'd put him in either D or F tier. He's not strong enough to fight anyone, and comes off as a coward for only going after Kathy and not Vance. Also him using a gun for leverage does not give me confidence he even can fight.

I'm going to create some controversy but despite Tulsa McClean being an actual soldier, he's going to be in D tier. He's not a combat soldier and only works with tanks. Even if he's skilled he's not an experienced soldier based on my rank breakdown above. We only see one fight scene and even then he doesn't outright win. He and his group runs away when the police were on the way. We can't assume how much training he would've received regarding hand to hand combat but we can say with certainty that his skills operating armored vehicles would be useless in this battle.

However, I would say he would stand a better chance than Clint Reno so Tulsa would be ranked higher than him. So ultimately he's between high D or low C. We just don't know enough about his background or training level and we can't speculate on things we didn't see in the film.

Deke might be surprisingly high. I'd put him in B tier. He only had one fight scene but he actually won and it was against someone bigger than him. In a fight there are many factors that determine who wins and size is one of them as well as how you use it. The fight in terms of pure skill was not professional at all so I can't put Deke in A or S tier. Another thing that we can assume based on his background is that Deke being a delivery driver for a brewery would give him considerable strength. The average size of a beer keg weighs 160 lbs. Even though he wasn't working there that long nor do we actually see him lift that type of keg, we can actually assume here that he still would have to be considerably strong to lift those kegs on a regular basis. Assuming Deke is fighting someone close to his size if not slightly bigger, he stands a pretty decent chance of winning despite not having any formal training.

Rusty's in D tier. He lost a fight against drunken college kids. They literally hit him with a glass bottle, picked him up and threw him into a large decoration. He doesn't even get out of it until well after everyone left or got arrested. On paper, assuming he's in shape, he should have the advantage. He's perfectly sober and is still on the right side of 30. He should in theory be able to get away or actually win this fight but he doesn't.

You can make the argument that since he was outnumbered this isn't a fair fight, but we don't see any other fight scenes to determine how well he would've done. We can't determine what his fighting experience is because it's not mentioned in the film nor can we judge based on his career as a singer.

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Ultimately tier list for this part:

Deke Rivers in B tier

Tulsa McClean I'll give the benefit of the doubt and put him in low C tier

Rusty Wells goes in D tier

Finally Clinton Reno I'll also give him the benefit of the doubt and put him in D tier but his still below Rusty.

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If anyone wants to weigh in on this feel free I'd love to hear what you think.

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

SPYRO THE DRAGON In The Style Of THE LAST WISH

Here I go again about PUSS IN BOOTS: THE LAST WISH, a movie that is over two months old and is finally out on physical media formats. I snatched up a copy on release day, in the aftermath of a nasty snowstorm. It was the Target exclusive edition that came with a small 40-page art gallery book, much like the BAD GUYS release that they did. Too bad those editions didn't have the 4K disc. What's up with that?

Anyways, one thing that really struck me about PUSS IN BOOTS: THE LAST WISH, more so than most of the aspects it has been getting heaps of praise for... Whether it's the themes of valuing one's life and realizing that those who care about you are more important than some perceived glory, or the filmmakers' willingness to go quite hard with a story that's suitable for most children to watch, or the absolutely cool look of the movie... The thing that struck me, personally... I pointed out in my Letterboxd review and another post on here...

There's such a lovely, airy, dreamy, borderline-ethereal tone to this movie that I feel is completely unique to this one movie in the SHREK franchise. It still keeps some of that old-school adventure movie vibe that the first PUSS IN BOOTS movie was going for (Zorro/Three Musketeers/spaghetti westerns/etc.), and it taps back into the SHREK movies' farcical fairy tale stuff (but executes it differently), but the vibe they go for here felt fresh and new. The SPIDER-VERSE-inspired visuals and animation techniques certainly add to that, as it does eschew the ornate detailing of the other SHREKs/PUSS IN BOOTS Uno - and most computer animation films made for a good 20 years, from TOY STORY up until this past decade - for something more like a painted storybook illustration. But no, by the middle of the movie, I was really wrapped up in this movie's feel. Like, even that final shot of Far, Far Away... It just felt so different from what we've seen and known, and if SHREK 5 looks/feels like this does? Hoooo mama.

It ignited so much of my imagination while watching, the way a really striking movie does. I've always loved the fantastical of all kinds, and the dreamy fairy tale aesthetic is one I've always had a soft spot for. The bright colors, magic being everywhere, occasional threat and darkness, beauty in the ethereal, stories operating on dream-like logic more so than a conventional plot. The latter example, I feel, is what separates this movie from SHREK 1-4 and the first PUSS. Those are more conventionally plotted, with fantasy characters and weird elements in them, THE LAST WISH veers more towards the dreamlike quality of a fairy tale. That's especially true of the entire block of the movie that takes place within "The Dark Forest", whatever that dimension may be. But even the scenes outside of that are a bit like that, too. Puss' battle with the giant in Del Mar goes from a Three Musketeers actioner to, like, SHADOW OF THE COLOSSUS or something. The filmmakers use animation to transport us into Puss' mind, his feelings, how he's experiencing his "legendary" fight with a behemoth! Hence the flourishes like the dashing lines and effects, the anime-inspired action beats, and so on.

I'm tangenting here, in true form. But yes, the dream-like storytelling, embracing the unreal qualities... It's part of why I love, say, the early Disney animated films of the Walt years so much. Or something like Marcell Jankovics' SON OF THE WHITE MARE (a film that I highly recommend if you've never seen it, it will completely boom your mind open to what an animated fantasy film could look and feel like). It's refreshing to see fantasy like that still thriving...

So, this brings me to... Of all things... SPYRO THE DRAGON.

SPYRO THE DRAGON played an important role in my life as a creator and artist, and I'm not only talking about the original trilogy of games developed for the PlayStation by Insomniac in the late 1990s, I'm talking about the first game specifically.

The original SPYRO THE DRAGON indeed feels kind of sparse and minimal compared to its much-more involved sequels, but part of me really loves it for that... The environments are certainly less populated and feel kind of lonely, I do love and enjoy the company we get in SPYRO 2: RIPTO'S RAGE (GATEWAY TO GLIMMER for any fellow Europeans reading) and SPYRO: YEAR OF THE DRAGON... Yet in a weird way, that almost services everything else. Stewart Copeland's score is also minimal in a way, airy and less genre-buffet like the later games are. Like in SPYRO 2, you have levels like "Zephyr" where the soundscore goes from an acoustic piece with all this weird stuff going on in the background to a completely out-of-the-blue banjo solo, like *that is* great stuff... But in the first game, it's a lot more straightforward. For each and every home world and its individual levels, rather than one level having a wildly eclectic piece of music accompanying it. The Artisan world is cozy and inviting, as a more homey and first hub world should be. The Magic Crafters and Dream Weavers worlds feel so airy and magical, the Peace Keepers world is a little more assertive and harsher in its score given its militaristic desert setting and quite buff dragon population. The Beast Makers' world is shadowy and eerie, yet still effective and beautiful in a way I might not be able to really articulate. Other than that, there are fairies and magic all around, whirlwinds that take you places, all sorts of weird-looking enemies...

SPYRO THE DRAGON feels like a PlayStation One fairy tale. If something like CRASH BANDICOOT was an adventurous Looney Tunes/Tex Avery homage, then SPYRO 1 is a fairy tale. SPYRO 2 and 3 bring it more into fantasy adventure/cartoon territory. What with talking cheetahs and professor moles and more advanced worlds and such. Think levels like Robotica Farms and Metropolis and such. That isn't to say SPYRO 1 didn't have some of that, though. After all, the Beast Makers world was home to Gnorc enemies using electricity, and the final boss in that world was a giant robot using electrified poles to make it operate. But I feel that outside of those few elements, SPYRO 2 and 3 pushed further in a different direction. Again, you have characters like Hunter and the Professor and things like the roller coaster/carnival attractions in Dragon Shores, tech-based levels, silly things like farm animals with saucers and laser guns waging war on a robot city, etc. Like, SPYRO 2 and 3 feel like Disney TV Animation cartoons from the 1987-1994 period, and other such adventure cartoons. The likes of DUCKTALES, TALESPIN, etc. And I mean that in the best way possible. But for comparison's sake, SPYRO 1 is more SNOW WHITE and SLEEPING BEAUTY and early Disney animated films like those, SPYRO 2 & 3 are more Disney Afternoon cartoons. And yet, some of that dream fairy tale quality is not lost in the sequels. One level in SPYRO 3 that always stuck out to me was Charmed Ridge, like it could've very well have been plucked out of the first game if not for the absence of bigger dragons to rescue and the abundance of characters you just wouldn't see in the first game.

But then you strip away the dreamy feel of SPYRO 1, and you've got a stock cartoon set-up. In fact, the bookend cutscenes in the game show the adult dragons being interviewed, complete with boom mics and an offscreen voice saying "Ok, rolling-" It's not taking itself too seriously. Actually, I thought the REIGNITED TRILOGY version of SPYRO 1 did something clever by having Gnasty Gnorc be watching all of this on TV. In the original, he seemed to have overheard the dragons calling him "ugly" and such from faaaaar away... In REIGNITED, he's watching the live interview on an old-fashioned TV. The one element that clashes with the otherwise fantastical, medieval/fairy tale times setting of the first game. Going back to the PS1 version the first SPYRO game, it's understandable. This was Insomniac's 2nd ever game, and their first major success commercially. SUPER MARIO BROS., SONIC THE HEDGEHOG, and CRASH BANDICOOT are kind of barebones first installments when you get down to it, with the sequels adding more and more cool stuff and expanding the worlds/stories along the way, as their respective developers have learned more from their experiences making the first one. Lather, rinse, repeat. So yes, SPYRO THE DRAGON is quite simple: Evil guy with scepter freezes all of your kind and turns your world's treasure into bad guys, standard collect-a-thon set-up. It's 2 & 3 where things get fleshed out more.

So... SPYRO THE DRAGON... PUSS IN BOOTS: THE LAST WISH... What's the connection outside of how I personally link them up based on some similar qualities?

Well, I would love to see an animated SPYRO THE DRAGON movie. Or a TV series. Anything.

It's a purple dragon with a bit of an attitude that torches bad guys and lives in a cool fantastical world, what's **not** to animate? It's shocking that even Crash Bandicoot doesn't have a feature or a cartoon series. I get it, these things are complicated. SUPER MARIO BROS. got a live-action movie adaptation in 1993 that did so badly, that Nintendo pretty much ruled out big-time movie adaptations of their properties, excluding POKEMON. That a big-time animated Mario movie is coming out now, in 2023, says a lot. Nintendo was super-protective of their IP for so long, and THE SUPER MARIO BROS. MOVIE's success (it's inevitable) could only mean more Nintendo movies and shows down the line. SONIC THE HEDGEHOG got the big-time movie treatment merely 3 years ago in the form of a live-action/animation hybrid, then a second movie last year, and now there's a third movie on the way. Lots of other video game adaptations were live-action movies, some with lots of VFX animation and some not so much... Most of them did either so-so or poorly. The 2020 Jeff Fowler-directed SONIC THE HEDGEHOG movie and this new SUPER MARIO BROS. film from directors Mike Jelenic and Aaron Horvath mark a major change in video game movies, I feel. This isn't merely a once-in-a-few-years modest success like the 1995 MORTAL KOMBAT movie or the 2001 LARA CROFT: TOMB RAIDER movie, or a video game-inspired movie like FREE GUY or READY PLAYER ONE, to say nothing of Disney Animation's WRECK-IT RALPH duology... No, I feel Mario and Sonic themselves have possibly... Broke the dam, and the flood is gonna flooooow-

But, I always wanted to see a SPYRO THE DRAGON movie... And I feel, post-SPIDER-VERSE, post-MITCHELLS VS. THE MACHINES, post-BAD GUYS, post-LAST WISH, post-ARCANE, etc. etc. We're now in this era of painterly, beautifully-stylized computer animation films... I would say CG or CGI films for short, but it's weird using the term "computer-generated" in a day and age of what... Ay-Eye is being used for. Ick. Anyways, we're past ornate detailing and hyperrealism, these films are pushing stylization and giving us illustrations, paintings, concept art pieces... But living and moving. THE LAST WISH is the latest in this train of super-cool movies... So then I pictured it... something like SPYRO THE DRAGON done like that!

I know I'd personally love to see it, I feel that style suits it so wonderfully...

[cfrog]

OC-tober Day 4: Redesign

[full prompt list]

A continuation of yesterday's, let's talk about the Sages' many redesigns! But first: some redraws :3c

[2018 -> 2023]

Full ramble under the cut. Read more at your own risk, it is long.

The Sages got their most recent redesigns in 2021. My main focus was making the Sages more unique in their looks, so it's not entirely just recolors of Sage. This is also when I made them all non-human. Lets go down the line.

[same picture as yesterday, i only have the one]

Again, theyre supposed to all be vaguely matchy. They all have bangs on the same side, they've all got some extra color at the ends of their hair, and they all have details under their eyes (freckles for Red, eyebags for Grey, scars for Yellow, blush for Blue). Aside from that, I kinda went wild with these versions.

The primary Sage's (Red Yellow and Blue) are all supposed to look very similar to Sage. Grey is the black sheep of the group, that should be clear on first glance. Red, though, is supposed to look the Most like Sage, because they have the most in common. The two are from similar time periods and, with the addition of Red being a werewolf, similar situations of hiding themselves. Being a werewolf also draws more attention to Red's anger issues, her original defining trait. It's really easy to tell when she's angry. Because she turns into a big dog. Older Red design had a red scarf across her midsection like a belt, because that's where her killing wound was. When I moved her wound to her heart (because its more poetic <3), the scarf came with! Technically, that dangling section is supposed to always cover her left side. I don't do that tho. ALSO as you may have noticed: Red used to be continually covered in blood. Her new design is less murderous, so that got removed, but I kept a subtle reference to it in her hair. Like really subtle. Here's a close up.

[red's blood-patterned hair, usually covered up by shading]

Anne (Grey's past life) was only given a design in 2019, for the Labyrinth OCT, based off of Grey's old design. Then when I redesigned Grey, I actually based her more off of Anne. Real telephone game going on. Stuff like the wrist/ankle scars just came from Anne's design. For this version of her, I flattened out her hair near the top to better resemble Sage and the others' hairstyles. It also looks pretty :3 Her full lore about what she is is.... so complicated. It's not important. She's a special type of ghost that makes her grayscale ok. I only made her skin pale instead of pure grey because it helps her stand out from Anne. Anne for reference:

[part of Anne's transition to Grey involved cutting off those dress sleeves]

Yellow got the most emo hairstyle of them all, which I think is funny, because she's also the oldest and most well-adjusted. This is when I moved her eye injury to her right side, so I can cover it up and not draw it. I generally just had a lot of problems with Yellow's eyes. I hated drawing glasses realistically, it was the main thing that kept me from drawing Yellow more on previous designs, so I decided to go full cartoon this time. And man I love it. Yellow is an elf btw, specifically from a modern fantasy 1960s-ish. Her main design inspo has always been "librarian" and I love to lean into it, BUT. This design was where I started letting her be a badass too. Hence the mysterious scars. Plus her conspiratorial streak and her wedding ring? God I made her so cool. Best redesign of the set.

And finally, a robot!! Originally, Blue was my excuse for memes and references. They were a gamer. They were a 4th wall breaker. I changed that last one for this design, meta powers revoked. But I let them keep the gamer references by making them from the future. Blue used to be just Some Teen Ghost, which was boring and realistic. I wanted them to have a full job and backstory. So I made them a fnaf reference. To emphasize the roboticness, I started drawing their hair goofy and blocky. I also switched their method of death from hanging to gunshot, to match all the others. Plus, I don't think hanging a robot would work. This moved their wound to their head, but again, hey I don't wanna draw a fucked up eye wound all the time. Solution: robot-based memory problems! Blue already had a thing for ignoring negative emotions, so it only makes sense they'd block out their own death. Their eye's still not entirely functional, though.

Hey, they weren't in yesterday's post, but let's talk about Violet too! Violet has always been a thing with the Sages, and funny enough, their name was always Violet. What exactly they are, though, has changed so many times. With this redesign, I offically made them Blue's "alter ego" (it fit with the fnaf references). Think of it as Blue but with all of those nasty memories. That means you get to see the eye wound on this one! They're also missing their ear on that side. And a solid chunk of their head.

[this Violet is from a meme redraw but I cut out the context]

These are my oldest ocs and I care about them so much. I put so much thought into these. I'm happy I finally get to type this all out. Here's a direct comparison of their hair and skin colors, look at the detail i put into this.

Blue's is technically just desaturated cause that's what mixing blue with orange does.

[astxrwar]

TTB 6 Meta

Meta below the cut that's linked to in the chapter preface for content warning + context reasons.

Below is a sort of context-based content warning; if you're looking for a content warning that just describes What Occurs, that's all the way at the bottom.

TTB6 gets into the sort of. Maybe not explicitly dubcon territory, but definitely flirts with that line and involves heavy coercive elements that are, imo, pretty standard as far as Beck as a character goes. His Thing(TM) is manipulation; this isn't really confined to just nonsexual encounters, because he is Not A Good Person.

With that in mind, RC is to some extent aware of this in TTB6 and "consents" (extreme air quotes. it does not work like this at all! when i said consensual but not safe or sane i meant it!) to having sex with him with the understanding that he's going to push her boundaries and be manipulative. This is Bad. I do not shy away from the fact that this is Bad, because that's The Point it's a Fucked Up Story about two people with Problems.

The ways in which he crosses boundaries or just does things without asking are not actually all that new, it's more RC's awareness/thoughts about it and the narrative approach to it that's changed. The things that he wants and will attempt to get as long as he believes it won't result in RC like. hating him or actually trying to get him to stop, are (for the most part) just more intense versions of things that he already did to some degree in TTB2/3. The reason there's more focus on the Fucked Up aspects of that this time around is because 1. TTB6 takes place in a location where he inherently has more power and control and 2. this is not the first time, so RC is actually thinking about things instead of just kind of. vibing. being Along For The Ride, so to speak. I know TTB2 was a while ago (3 years!!! whoops) but it did a fairly decent job at setting up the Type Of Person that he is wrt: sex.

There is a reason he kind of dialed it back in TTB3/4, namely (and this is meta that may or may not be explicitly described in later chapters. haven't decided, I'm explaining it here for Context anyway) that in TTB2 he was thinking she was just going to get it out of her system and then not want anything to do with him after that. Hence him being more willing to just. Do whatever the fuck he wanted and not ask for permission. Mostly biting and being physically aggressive.

Second and other times? Still not all that nice but definitely less aggressive because he's realized he can keep her around for a while and Entertain Himself if he's careful to not push TOO hard. Still is pushy, obvs, even in TTB3 it's like. He does stuff without asking. Stuff that you should not do without asking lol, and that gets Worse in TTB6. Because, again, power and control due to the location, but also because he has developed a more complete understanding of exactly how hard he can push without her getting freaked out/angry/revoking consent completely; the fact that she even came with him to a Second Location (terminally saying this in a john mulaney voice. i digress) is a big factor in why this has changed.

Also important to note. I do imagine TTB!AU Beck as someone who will (not kindly and not without being an asshole about it, however.) back off if someone tells him explicitly to stop, moreso because of his own not wanting to like. deal with what that would entail emotionally. Or be charged with assault, lol, but like that would never happen anyway because *gestures at judicial system*. (Canon MCU Beck? I shan't answer what I think he would do because he's Worse and has way more manipulation tactics at his disposal. This Is Partially Why I'm Playing With His Fucked Up Psyche In A Marginally Softer AU!!! because he's kinda pretty extremely fucked up. ) TTB!Beck does still try to manufacture an environment where the thought of asking him to stop is uncomfortable/it appears as though he wouldn't listen anyway so they don't bother asking/ etc. so that he can still get what he wants under a guise of plausible deniability. He also will outright ignore explicit requests to stop if he is positive that they're asking for a reason that's not like. Actually disliking it. Because, again, not a good person. Cannot stress enough that he is extremely not a good person + how much the narrative will not shy away from that. There are mentions of this in TTB6, where RC is approaching overwhelmed by his behavior and considers telling him to stop, with a small part of the reason why she doesn't being this manufactured atmosphere of "he wouldn't listen anyway". (some absolutely nonnegotiated CNC thoughts come to play here. again, this is two people with problems and those problems are Apparent). It's still kind of watered down by the fact that he does not want to make RC hate him/want nothing to do with him because then he'd be Bored.

If this is kinda uncomfortable territory for you as a reader: I Get It and that's totally fine. If you want to check out atp that's also totally fine. If you'd just like to skip the more grey-area aspects, know that he will, generally, not be as awful as he is in this from now on and that I will ALWAYS give warning on chapters where there's any sort of gray-area content that really toes the line beyond "lack of communication". But in general this is as bad as it will get, he will suck Less from here on out. Going forward it will be less drastically unsafe because he starts actually wanting her to like him vs just tolerate him + he starts getting involved emotionally to some degree, which makes him Worse at figuring her out in that sort of detached, clinical sense; this means that he becomes less sure of what he can and can't do without asking for explicit permission, so he just. Gets a lot more cautious except in instances where she's pushing him on purpose and he can Tell. There will still be warnings for this though lol.

Anyway. If you are reading still I hope you enjoy and I adore you for sticking through my longest work with me! Kind of an aside but if you have a tumblr and you've been reading TTB this whole time please send me an ask I'd love to be mutuals! I love and appreciate u guys sm!!

*** Detailed content warning: in order-- biting, pain play, rough oral m-receiving that's worse than ttb3; if you want to skip this stop reading when they get to the bedroom and CTRL+F start from "What the fuck did you do that for". brief mentions of dacryphilia (gross word, why is it such a gross word! unnecessary), oral f-receiving, edging + orgasm control + biting + more pain play that's not discussed at all, RC has thoughts multiple times about like.. CNC kinda? It's a really blurry line because of aforementioned Vibes beck goes for intentionally. overstimulation, one brief moment of kinda-sorta-consent being revoked but not really? more just the aforementioned entirely un-negotiated CNC. overstimulation, also not discussed. No safe words lmao, literally no actual discussion of any of this at all, and they're both into it in a way that is objectively Unsafe. There will be brief kind-of-not-really aftercare in the next chapter but its still not like. discussed. Please for the love of god don't have sex like this irl. Bad idea.