#her team failed her and I’m sorry most of the criminal minds fans don’t get that

[sassyandclassy94]

I love it when I reblog my girl and one or two of my followers like the post :) My initial reaction is always I’M NOT ALONE!!!

[it-was-summer]

Video Killed The Radio Star (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)

A/N: I know I usually write for Five Hargreaves, but lately I’ve been having the idea of a fanfiction for Spencer Reid involving some sensitive material. If you haven’t watched Criminal Minds, that is a-okay because this doesn’t really follow any sort of certain plot in the series but it does contain some spoilers from it so maybe be warned? If you’d like for this me to continue this little idea, please give me so feedback and let me know. Till then, Em <3

Warnings: Stalking, talk of kidnapping, cursing and some sensitive material. 

Plot: You leave videos for the BAU to find once you find out you have a stalker. 

Word Count: 1.3k

-Tape #1, January 5, 20XX

Your face moved away from the screen as you moved to sit on a desk chair, smile growing as you waved your hand at the webcam recording a few feet away from you. “I, uh,” you looked down at your hands, playing with the ring that resided on your middle finger before letting out a tiny nervous giggle “, I don’t really know how I should start this off.” you trailed off, looking back up at the camera.

“You know that feeling you get when you’re driving your car and you think ‘oh my god, the car behind me is following me home!’, I guess it all kind of started like that. I tried to keep them off my tail, but I guess they already knew where I lived because they started parking outside my house, never the same car.”

You cleared your throat gently, bending over to pick up a small, dead rose. “This was the first thing I got,” you held it closer to the camera, your hands shaking lightly “That’s when I realized something was wrong. I started to notice that I would get home and suddenly, there would be a car across the street.” You looked outside, towards the window “It’s not every day, and it isn’t sporadic either! It’s every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday around noon till seven, sometimes eight.” You ran your hands through your hair, biting back tears.

“My mom thinks I’m crazy, but I... I know that something isn’t right,” You kept your calm composure, smiled sweetly at the camera, and waved again “ I guess  I’m signing off till I have some more proof or something? This is Y/N L/N, signing off I suppose.”

Then the screen went dark.

-Tape #2, January 17, 20XX

You were already sitting in your desk chair when the video started, indicating that you figured how to use a timer for this personal vlog of yours. “Hi,” You seemed to be in better spirits than before “I’m more organized this time!” This seemed to be the reason for your good mood, probably because being organized made you feel more stable, safer.

“So, I’m Y/N L/N and I am twenty-four years old, living in Richmond, Virginia, in this apartment complex a little bit outside of the city.” You held up a photo of a tattoo that was currently hiding under your shirt. “This is the tattoo that I got when I was drunk off my ass on my twenty-first birthday, just a good...” you cleared your throat quickly “A good identifier.”

You folded your hands in your lap as you straightened out your back. “The stalking started just after Christmas, I haven’t the faintest clue of who it is, but I know I am being stalked. I told the police but they didn't really think anything of it and sometimes I see a patrol car drive by on weekdays.”

“These videos aren’t meant to be a big, fat, told you so. I’m just really scared that something bad is going to happen. I just need some trace of me, I need to feel less helpless.”

You swallowed thickly and grabbed a sticky note hanging from your computer “These are all my passwords so if something does happen, it is right there.”

You looked around, all of your preparations failing you in a single moment as you found yourself lost for words. You quickly flashed again, conversation lighting up in you as you spoke again “I work in the city as a librarian, I get the weekends off for the most part.” You held up a copy of Wuthering Heights “Today this was left on the roof of my car,” You opened it and turned it so the pages were facing the webcam, showing highlighted sections of the book “The only parts that are highlighted are the romantic scenes between Heathcliff and Catherine.” You flipped through some pages quickly and held the page up, looking for one quote that was highlighted, underlined, and circled. “Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad, that's one of the lines circled, underlined and highlighted...” you stared at the page, before turning it back to the camera.

“I’m done for now..” Screen. Black.

-Tape #3, February 14, 20XX

You were wearing a striped sweater, lines ranging from white, pink, and red. You seemed to have forgotten about the heart-shaped glasses on your head, pushing back your hair, but your eyes were red, tired, lifeless almost. “It’s Valentine’s Day,” you heaved a sigh, slouching over in your chair. You could feel the bubble in your throat, and you tried to keep your voice steady, but it broke as soon as you started to speak “ Today was really bad,” you coughed lightly, feigning courage “He, She, I don’t know! They were in here! They got into my house, rose petals everywhere! Rose petals on the bed, in the sink, everywhere! They were just,” tears started to flow before you could do anything about it “ Just everywhere.”

You brushed your tears away quickly and let out another sigh before you took in a big breath and smiled, sadly at the camera. “I did some more research,” you laughed “, I live in Virginia and I have way too much time on my hands sometimes.”

You leaned over to pick up some papers off your, now rose petal-free desk “So, I was looking for people who would be good at, uh, helping me.” You held up a photo of Agent Jareau, in all her beauty “, I’d be pretty blind not to think about the BAU, right? This is,” you looked at the photo quickly “, the very pretty liaison for the BAU. I know that she’ll be seeing these first so hello? I would really appreciate it if the team could help me. Help find me maybe? I told the police what happened and they searched my apartment and the security cameras-” you felt tears well up in your eyes again and cut yourself off.

“I’m sorry, I have to go.” 

Black.

-Tape #4, February 18, 20XX

A smile was on your lips now, nervous albeit, but still a smile nonetheless. “The police are patrolling the neighborhood now on the regular so I feel a tiny bit better!” you leaned over to grab a copy of Jane Eyre “Today I was gifted another book, it seems my stalker is a bit of a Brontë fan. This one is the same as the last, but the important be quote seems to ‘You are my sympathy --my better self --my good angel’” You closed the book, sighed, and closed your eyes slowly. “Till then.”

Black.

-Tape #5, March 5, 20XX

You knew this was going to be your last video, every bone in your body knew it. Every. Single. One. After almost two weeks of no attention, no cars, no anything. You thought you were free, thought that maybe it would all be okay.

It was a foolish, childish thought. A moment of fleeting happiness if you will, but you held onto it with everything you had. The police were paying you less attention and you didn’t mind. You kept an eye out for something, anything. Now it was March fifth and you had a new gift. It was the most extreme out of all the gifts. Your hands trembled as you reached for a destroyed pair of your panties, drenched in blood. “Something bad is going to happen,” You threw the panties down near the books and dead rose. You kept them all just in case if they needed it, what if they needed more.

What if they needed more to find you? Would all of this be enough? “Please find me,” you looked at the screen with a heavy conscious “, I want to be found. Please, find me.”

Black.

March 8, 20XX

“This is Y/N L/N, a twenty-four-year-old woman last seen two days ago and has since gone missing. The Richmond police station contacted us after they found a folder containing these videos on her computer.” J.J. said, clicking to the next PowerPoint, showing more details for their case, but Hotch was already standing up, ending everyone’s input and conversation. 

“Wheels up in ten.” 

[words-with-wren]

you’ll be alright, no one can hurt you now

Words: 3,500ish

Fandom: Tangled the Series

Characters: Varian, Eugene, Rapunzel, Ruddiger (also Pascal make an appearance)

Warnings: minor whump (I keep putting Varian through it i’m not sorry), flashbacks, probably bad portrayal of PTSD

___

“So what, exactly, is this amazing new job you have?” Varian asked. He was sitting on a barrel in the armoury, Ruddiger dozing in his lap. The armoury was not Varian’s favourite place in the castle, to say the least, but Eugene had invited him along while he got ready and Varian wasn’t going to say no to a Team Awesome adventure, as small though it was. 

Something heavy hit the ground around the corner where Eugene was getting changed. A muffled curse followed, Eugene muttering something under his breath. There was a moment of silence, in which Varian smiled fondly and stroked Ruddiger’s ears. 

“Uh, yeah, fancy new job - as captain of the guard I have the prestigious honour of standing by and looking fancy while the important boatload of people comes in from Ingvarr.” 

Varian couldn’t help but smile at the way he spoke - he clearly wasn't that keen on the job opportunity. 

“You’ll be great at it, isn’t standing around looking fancy what you do most of the day anyway?” 

“Ha!” Eugene shot back from behind the wall, and Varian grinned again. “I’ll have you know it’s taken a lot of effort to look this fancy.” 

A pair of guards marched passed the door and Varian shifted to watch them, suddenly on edge. He slipped off the barrel, relocating a slightly grumpy Ruddiger to his shoulder and stepped a little closer towards the wall Eugene was behind. 

“So, why exactly, did we need to come down here? Are you not fancy enough already?” he asked, forcing himself to relax. There wasn’t anything to be nervous about - he just didn’t like this part of the castle. 

“Kid I am always fancy enough,” Eugene said, sounding almost offended. Varian rolled his eyes with a grin. “However, as captain of the guard, I have the ability to… dress up a little.” He stepped out into view and Varian froze. 

It wasn’t that he was surprised - he had suspected this was why they had come down here in the first place. It was more the sudden wave of memories and emotions that seeing Eugene in the guard uniform brought back. 

Cold, stone walls. Cruel faces, hard blows, pushes, kicks, hungry days and endless nights. Gold metal, flashing off the dim light that shone through his tiny window. Red fabric, red like the blood he found on his hands sometimes.

He was breathing quickly, frozen, unable to move, unable to properly think. Somehow, it was worse seeing Eugene in their uniform. Eugene was comfort, friendship, home, happiness. The guards were hard, cruel, pain, loneliness. He couldn’t connect the two in his mind and seeing Eugene in the armour made him feel sick. 

And yet Eugene stood before him, the sparkling gold chest plate of the Corona guard shining on his chest. And Varian froze, the achingly familiar expression of hardness and emotionlessness settling on his face instinctively. 

“Kid?” Eugene asked, taking a hesitant step forward. He hadn’t missed the panic that flashed across Varian’s face before being replaced with a carefully schooled expression that betrayed nothing. Ruddiger chattered nervously, gently butting Varian’s cheek. Varian, as though he wasn’t aware of what he was doing, pulled Ruddiger down, hugging him close, watching Eugene with an expression he didn’t like. 

“Do I really look that bad?” Eugene asked, keeping his voice light. He took a step forward but Varian flinched, stepping back quickly and Eugene froze. “Hey, it’s alright kid.” He crouched, trying to make himself seem less threatening, unsure what exactly had Varian so spooked. 

“I -” Varian began, his voice shaky. 

“It’s just Eugene,” he tried to tell himself, but the armour in front of him brought back too many memories, too many long faded bruises and hopeless nights. “Eugene wouldn’t hurt me.” 

But the guards would. And standing in front of him was a guard. 

“Varian, talk to me buddy,” Eugene's voice was even and Varian took a shaky breath, pressing his face into Ruddiger’s fur. 

“It’s just Eugene,” he told himself again. 

“Everything alright, captain?” 

The voice sent a rush of panic through him, nausea rising for a moment. He knew that voice - it had been directed towards him many times. The scornful, mocking, cruel voice of one of the guards who had frequented him while he was in prison. 

(For a moment, he was back, the walls drawing in around him, the helplessness weighing on him again and he couldn’t breathe.) 

“Everything is fine, Rick,” Eugene said, his voice hard. He didn’t stand, looking past Varian’s slightly shaking form. He had butted heads with the man a few times since becoming captain - Rick was one of the vocal guard members who were not a fan of having a former criminal become captain of the guard. 

He had also, from memory, run into him from time to time while running as Flynn Rider. None of the interactions had been pleasant. And from the way Varian was shaking, the boy had a similar experience. 

“Are you sure? Because I can deal with him, if you want me to.” There was an air of smugness about Rick, as though he knew Eugene couldn’t do anything to him. Realistically, he was right - even as captain, there was only so much Eugene could do. Especially with half the guard waiting for him to fail. 

A small whimper escaped from Varian at the words and he took an uncertain step towards Eugene. He was holding Ruddiger so tightly, Eugene wondered briefly if he was hurting the animal, but Ruddiger wasn’t complaining, pressing his face into Varian’s chin in a comforting gesture. 

Eugene stood slowly, not missing the slight flinch the movement drew from Varian. He was beginning to piece the picture together - Corona was infamous for its mistreatment of criminals after Rapunzel had been taken. Eugene himself had experienced abuse at the hands of the Corona guard on the few occasions they had managed to catch him. 

He had just been a petty thief. Varian had been a traitor. Had kidnapped the queen and threatened Corona’s beloved princess. 

A slow flame of anger began burning in Eugene’s chest as the thoughts flashed through his mind in a second. Varian was standing between himself and Rick, shivering slightly, holding Ruddiger tight and Eugene clenched his fists. 

“I think you should leave,” he said, struggling to keep his voice under control. Rick eyed him for a long moment and then smirked. 

“And what are you going to do, Rider. Criminals sticking together, I see.” He spat the last, taking a threatening step forward. 

Varian felt fear clench at his chest and he took a step back, towards the comforting presence of Eugene. But the flash of gold from Eugene’s uniform caught the corner of his eye and he bit his lip, trying to not to show emotion. 

And then a hand was placed on his shoulder and Varian couldn’t handle it anymore. Terror shot through him, the memories of all the beatings and pain and fear and hopelessness overwhelming him. He couldn't breathe for a moment -  he had to move, to get away from the gold armour and the sneers. The memories of that darkness. He had to run. He shoved back against the hand on his shoulder, needing to get away before the beatings began, before the pain returned. 

He barely knew where he was going, just that he had to run, had to get away, had to find somewhere safe. Ruddiger was warm in his arms and he buried his face in the raccoon’s fur, hot tears leaking from his eyes as he ran. 

A part of him hated that he was running. Hated that he was running from Eugene. But the wild, animal fear and panic overtook him and he ran. 

Eugene raised his hand with an internal curse - Varian usually loved touch, loved casual hands on his shoulder or hair ruffles. But clearly this had been too much and Eugene berated himself for not seeing that. 

Rick let out a short laugh as Varian bolted from the room. 

“Looks like you caught him in another crime. What was he doing this time? Sabotaging the water?”

He laughed as though it were funny and Eugene fought down the urge to punch him. He forced his anger back with effort, clenching his fists by his side and quickly leaving the room. 

“We’re going to have a talk later,” he said as he left, his voice sharp. Rick only laughed again, and Eugene tried not to let that get to him. 

Varian had vanished, and Eugene tried not to let worry take over. He took a shaky breath and decided that was probably for the best - however he had spooked Varian to begin with, he probably wasn’t the best person to be tracking down the kid. 

He didn’t even knock as he pushed open the door to Rapunzel’s room. She looked up in surprise as he entered, lowering the brush she was running through her hair. 

“Eugene, what’s wrong?” she asked, instantly sensing his concern. He let out a long breath, pacing the room. 

“I lost the kid,” he muttered. “He spooked, or something and… just ran.” 

“Varian?” Rapunzel asked, and Eugene nodded, stopping in the middle of the room and playing with the glove on one hand. 

“I’m not sure what exactly it was,” he said. “Bad memories… something. Rick didn’t help,” he added darkly. “But I don’t think I’m the best person to be looking for him right now.” 

“I’ll find him,” Rapunzel said, without hesitation. She placed the brush down and stood and Eugene couldn’t help but feel relieved, even though he knew she would help. He reached out to take her hand, moving hair out of her face with his other hand. “If the ambassador arrives before I find him -”

“I’ll cover for you, don’t worry,” he said, holding her hands with his. She smiled, reaching up to kiss him quickly. “Thanks, Sunshine,” he said as she pulled away, Pascal bounding up her dress onto her shoulder. 

“I’ll find him, don’t worry,” Rapunzel said as she left the room. Eugene let out a long breath as she left, running a hand through his hair and forcing himself to breathe. 

Pascal chirped in Rapunzel’s ear as she moved quickly through the halls, trying to guess where Varian might be hiding. She was vaguely aware of the greetings from various guards and maids in the halls as she made her way towards Varian’s lab. Each greeting she returned, but her heart wasn’t in it, concern for her friend growing. 

“Varian?” she called, knocking lightly in the laboratory door. There was no answer, so she pushed it open slowly. 

The room was empty, a complicated pattern of pipes and jars set up on the table, messy notes scribble along the walls. Rapunzel stepped into the room, flicking off the flame that was burning under a vial of some bubbling blue chemical (that really didn’t seem safe) and turning to take in the whole room. 

“Varian?” she called. Pascal crawled down her dress to examine under the table, in case he was hiding there. There was no answer, and Rapunzel frowned, worried. Pascal bounded back to her and she bent to pick him up, lifting her back to her shoulder. “Where could he be?” she muttered. Pascal shrugged. 

Eugene had said something had spooked him, it was likely he would find somewhere to hide. She mentally ran through a checklist of places, rejecting a few (there would be too many people in the kitchen, he couldn’t climb like Pascal, he was much larger than Pascal) and finally began to move through the castle. 

It was the third place she looked that she finally found him. The linen cupboard on the second floor, curled up on the bottom shelf so small she almost missed him when she opened the door. Ruddiger caught her attention, trilling softly. 

She settled on her knees, bending down to see him. He was curled in a tight ball, clutching Ruddigier, his face turned away from her. 

“Varian?” she asked quietly. He took a shaky breath and looked up, a clearly forced smile on his face. 

“Oh, uh, he-hey, princess,” he said, rubbing a hand across his face. “Uh, sorry I was just..” 

Rapunzel resisted the urge to haul him into a hug - he seemed raw, fragile and she wasn’t sure if that would help or make things worse. Instead, she shifted, sitting cross-legged and smiled. 

“It’s okay,” she said. “You want to talk?” 

He hesitated, looking down at Ruddiger and running a hand through the raccoon’s fur. 

“I don’t know,” he said finally, not looking up. 

“How about a hug then?” Rapunzel asked. He looked up finally, a small real smile on his face. 

“Yeah, I could go for that,” he said. Rapunzel didn’t hesitate any longer, reaching into the cupboard and pulling him into her arms. He relaxed into her, Ruddiger pressed in between them. For a long time, she stayed like that, holding him, and slowly, she became aware that he was crying, his shoulders shaking silently. 

“Varian?” she asked, burying a hand in his hair. He pulled back, sitting on the edge of the shelf and looking down. His eyes were wet and he ran a hand through Ruddiger’s fur, not meeting her eyes. 

“Sorry,” he muttered, blinking a few times. Rapunzel leaned forward, laying a hand on his shoulder. 

“Don’t be,” she said quietly. 

“I just…” He wrapped a hand around himself, the other still buried in Ruddiger’s fur. “I saw Eugene in that uniform and… eh-heh. It brought back bad memories.” He looked up, meeting her eyes for a second and then dropping his. “Is… I mean… Eugene, he’s…” He trailed off, unable to find the words. 

“Eugene understands,” she said quietly. “And he doesn’t blame you - no one does.” She shifted, standing and holding out a hand. “Want to find somewhere more comfortable to talk about it? Besides,” she added, a slight grin in her voice, “we want to get away before Old Lady Crowley finds us in her linens - she’ll make us wash them all.”  

That got a small smile out of Varian. He hesitated a moment, then took her hand and let her pull him up. Ruddiger bounded onto his shoulder as Rapunzel led him back towards her room, his hand still firmly grasped in hers. 

They were settled on Rapunzel’s bed when there was a soft knock at the door, and Eugene’s face appeared. Relief washed across his face as he caught sight of Varian. 

“You found him,” he said, the relief clear in his voice. “I’ll… leave you to it, then.” He began to close the door but Varian stopped him before he left fully. 

“No!” he called. “No, I… I mean… you don’t have too.” He rubbed Ruddiger’s fur between his fingers, forcing a small smile. Eugene seemed relieved at the invitation, stepping into the room. 

To Varian’s relief, he was no longer wearing the uniform. He crossed the room, settling on the bed a little apart from them, concern clear on his face. But no accusation. No blame, and Varian was grateful for that. 

Unable to take the distance between them anymore, Varian moved across the bed, wrapping his arms around Eugene and hugging him tightly. For a moment, Eugene reacted in surprise, then he returned the embrace, rubbing Varian’s back. 

“Sorry,” Varian whispered. 

“Hey, don’t be kiddo,” Eugene said. Varian pulled back with a smile and Rapunzel shifted closer to them. 

“You want to talk?” Rapunzel asked, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. Ruddiger bounded back into his lap and suddenly, nestled between Rapunzel and Eugene, Varian realised he did want to talk. 

He hadn’t spoken to anyone about what that year had been like. Hadn’t shown anyone except Ruddiger how much it had worn away at him, how much it had chipped him down and exhausted him. It had seemed too dark, too hard to revisit. 

But Eugene’s arm around him was strong, Rapunzel’s warm. They were both watching him, unaccusingly, unpitying, just lovingly. Ruddiger purred softly, giving him the strength he needed to talk. 

He talked. He told them about the anger, about the rage he felt towards everyone who had betrayed him. He told them about the cold cell, about the prison food, about the long nights, the loneliness. He told them about the guards, how they accused him, beat him, starved him. (He felt Eugene’s fist clench behind his back, saw Rapunzel’s face harden, knew they were angry, but not at him.) 

He told them about the darkness, about the coldness, about the hopelessness. He told them about way they slowly chipped away at everything that made him who he was, turned him into a shell of anger and hurt and brokenness. 

He told them about Andrew, about the false hope he had grasped at. He told them about how he had clung to the Saporians like a lifeline, how he had internalised every comment, how he had seen no other way out. He told them how he had broken, and for a moment, he broke again in their arms. 

They held him for a long time after he finished. They held him and let him cry, warm and safe in their arms. 

“I’m sorry,” Rapunzel said softly, and there was a weight to her words that told Varian she meant more than just what had happened after he had been arrested. Varian leaned forward and took her hand, leaning into her. He had long ago forgiven her for that night. 

“It wasn’t your fault,” he said quietly, his voice raw with emotions. 

“It still shouldn’t have happened.” Eugene’s voice was hard when he spoke and there was a dangerous light in his eyes. 

“Maybe it should have,” Varian whispered, half hoping they didn’t hear him. That was his deepest fear, the thought that haunted him at night. That he deserved what had happened after everything he had done. 

“Don’t say that,” Rapunzel said. She gently cupped his face in her hands, lifting his chin so he looked up and her. “Don’t ever say that.” 

“The things I did…” Varian couldn’t meet her eyes. Sometimes, when he was laughing with Eugene or experimenting with Rapunzel, it felt like a distant dream, all that anger and fear and rage. The things he had done, the bonds he had broken, the people he had betrayed. 

Sometimes, it felt like only a few days since it had happened and he was starkly reminded of the monster he had become. 

“Hey,” Eugene said, rubbing a hand along Varian’s back. “Yeah, you did some bad things. But you were scared, and you were alone. I’m sorry we weren’t there for you.” 

“Eugene’s right,” Rapunzel said, and Varian looked up at her. “And whatever the case, no one should have to go through what you did.” Something in her expression hardened. “And I intend to have a long talk with my father about that.” 

Varian leaned back into her embrace, closing his eyes and for a moment, letting himself be loved. 

A soft knock on the door and the queen’s voice interrupted them. 

“Rapunzel, honey - the ambassador is nearly here, you’re needed.” 

Eugene and Rapunzel exchanged a look over Varian’s head, silent communication passing between them. 

“You should go,” Varian said before their silent conversation had finished, before Rapunzel had a chance to insist she stay. Because she would - he could see it in her eyes. She would stay because last time she hadn’t. He pushed himself up, leaving Rapunzel’s embrace a little reluctantly. “Your kingdom needs you. I’ll be alright.” 

“I’ll stay,” Eugene said quietly, laying a hand on Varian’s shoulder, and Varian couldn’t help but be a little relieved. As important as Rapunzel being there for her kingdom was, he didn’t really want to be alone at the moment. 

“Thank you,” Rapunzel said. She slipped off the bed, glancing in the mirror to check she was presentable. “And Varian,” she added as she left the room, Pascal on her shoulder. “If you ever need to talk, or even just a hug-” 

“I know. Thank you,” Varian said, smiling slightly. She returned the smile, slipping out of the room. 

Eugene slung an arm around Varian’s shoulder and the boy leaned into him, Ruddiger warm in his lap. 

“How’re feeling, kiddo?” Eugene asked quietly. 

“Honestly? Tired,” Varian admitted. “But… good. Thank you for listening.” 

“Anytime.” A long, comfortable silence filled the room, and then Eugene spoke up again. “Hey, maybe you can help me redesign the guard uniform.” 

“Huh?” Varian shifted, looking up at him. “You don’t have to-” 

“Neh, uniform’s kinda ugly anyway. Besides, blue is much more my colour.” 

“You can’t just… change the guard uniforms. For me,” Varian said, an almost laugh in his voice. Eugene gently shoved him, grinning. 

“Why not? I’m the captain of the guard now, I can do what I want.” 

“Careful you don’t abuse your power,” Varian said, shouldering him back. Eugene grinned, ruffling his hair. 

“I would never.” 

If, a few days later, a number of guards found themselves out of a job - Rick included - no one would accuse Eugene of abusing his power. 

[thattimdrakeguy]

I’m writing this fic about the Batfamily and I’m afraid of writing them as OOC. If you are able to, could you please give some tips on each of the Batfam’s personalities and characteristics? To specify, Dick, Jason, Tim, Steph, Cass, Babs, Damian, and Duke are the characters I’m using. It would be really helpful! Thank you!!

This is a tricky question, because I don’t know the story of your fic to help you in any specific way. So if after this you wanna DM me for more specific help on how to work things out, I’ll be there to help you right away unless I’m doing something, but I have no plans.

I’m going to go from easiest for me to do to least easiest, because I obviously know Tim the best, but even then, it’s hard, because going off the character’s you are choosing, it’s set during the part of the timeline were he went OOC, but I’ll do my best just to say his general character so you can use that as a base for things. Like how he was developed in his origin and all that, and notable characteristics he’s had as he grew while still in character. With some that even if they weren’t around with some of those characters, would apply to them.

His is also going to be the longest, like way too long, because he’s a way more nuanced and complex character than anyone ever gives him credit for. So he takes a lot longer to explains by a freaking large margin. Like sorry if it’s too big, I just kept saying more as more came to mind because I feel like his nuances are what makes him interesting and easy to right. Once you get a hang of his nuances, and you get used to it, it makes it easier to put yourself into his mindset to how he works, which makes him easier to write as well.

(THIS IS AN INCREDIBLY LONG POST, AND I APOLOGIZE. I just really wanted to be thorough and give contexts to stuff. It’s less of tips and more of an overly long description of what I know about each character and what’s in-character and what’s not going off of how the character’s were developed to be, and not counting the out of character writing. So really sorry about this being so freaking long)

Tim:

Tim’s origin right off the back is having met Dick at a very very young age, I don’t think he could even strongly walk yet, so I’mma say three. He was instantly attached to Dick, he just admired him instantly just for giving him affection. He was his hero. But he was also there the day Dick’s parents died, which traumatized Tim and gave him nightmares for years. But being able to remember that night so thoroughly, he remembered a specific move that Dick could do that very few could, and that’s how he found out Dick was Batman, and logically, Bruce Wayne was Batman.

There’s a large misconception that as a little kid, Tim followed Batman and Robin around, but that was not the case. At least not physically and literally followed them around. Closest being when I believe he happened to come across Batman in his origin story, and purposely did his best detective work to figure out where Dick would be.

As shown several times but most strongly in his origin, but wasn’t as strong the more he went on, he’s sort of socially oblivious to what’s considered normal or not, or what other people are thinking of him.

For instance he just knocked on Starfire’s and Dick’s apartment, asked Kori (Starfire) if Dick was home because he needed his help, and when she said no, just bolted even when Kori asked his name. Just concerning the crap out of her. Even when he first met Dick, he just wouldn’t say his name because “NO TIME”, he just squirmed around place to place on his bike being completely oblivious of himself. In his first miniseries he searches up information on Clyde (a former government agent he saved and befriends) that he shouldn’t have, unaware that that’d obviously be crossing a line for some people. Even taking his girlfriend to a car show, where there was a lot of bikini models around, and it didn’t even occur to him what it’d look like he was there for. He was just genuinely bubbly to see the cars.

He doesn’t do any of those sorts of things out of malice, he’s always just presented as being incredibly oblivious of himself quite a bit. Most likely from not having his parents around that much as his childhood progressed, and typically just living in boarding schools, or with a nanny. So he didn’t really developed right as one interpretation, and another being (that was actually almost confirmed if it wasn’t for Tim getting a writer before another could say it) is that he’s on the Autism spectrum. Which is technically verified, as he has many symptoms of Asperger’s. But that isn’t technically canon, as it never got to be officially said. But it’s valid enough.

Tim’s main strength is his detective work, he also knows how to use a computer to his advantage. Many modern comics act as if Tim is a master hacker who could hack into anything. But he actually mostly used them for detective work, and small hack jobs, some of which he failed. He seemed to have learned more about hacking from Barbara, or at least some what implied, as Babs let him help her build a big computer, or something of that sort.

He also took karate as a kid, and is implied to have also taken gymnastics. It’s stated that he’s actually really good at gymnastics by Alfred in Tim’s origin, but his fighting skills, despite the karate lessons he had previously taken, isn’t as good as the others. Hence his staff, and having to be clever in how he goes about a fight.

How Tim operates as far as emotionally or mentally depends too. Sometimes he’ll go straight from the heart and get himself in trouble, but other times he’ll take his time to really plan something out for himself on the spot. It depends on how his emotions are at the time. If he was just picked on or beat up, he’ll be more agitated, and if something really really bad that happened, he just go so far in he just beats the crap out of everyone as bad as he can. As shown by trying to apprehend someone that shot someone he knew at school, or Batman betraying his trust (in an honestly out of character story). If he’s calmer though, or at least doing his best to be, he’ll use his brain more before he starts. I think his talents in planning have been overstated for ages, because while he’s good at it, he’s not exactly the greatest or overall good. Just enough to work fine enough to get the job done.

One of his biggest mental weakness’s, is his constant insecurity. Somethings that’s so constantly on his mind is letting someone down, rather it be Batman or his dad Jack, or even Nightwing, or his team. The reason why Tim acted so different and more of a seriously brooding personality in Young Justice, was because he was so insecure about not having powers that he thought he had to push himself to his limits. So he used some Batman leadership tactics, and fought harder than he ever fought before just to seem like he was even worth having around. When by himself though, it’s more of a sadness, an upset feeling in his gut. Tim has anxiety about things, rather or not he’s good enough. He’s not a super confident person when it comes to himself. He doesn’t think much of him.

One editorial person answering fan questions in the back of comics as they used to, even described Tim as meek. He doesn’t brag or think much of himself as super according to it.

He’s also stated and shown to be internally scared quite a bit, even shaking when he first got his own Robin suit. Another occasion saying the cold water might excuse his shivering. Which goes along with his anxiety.

Another thing about him that is more low-key and not as noticed, is how Tim, even though he clearly thinks of himself as a kid, heck even the letter column above says so, he has also said since being Robin he’s never had time to be a kid. But he is also still a kid.

As they specified his voice a bit more, he tended to use heck, Holy crud, dang, fudge, weenie, and even Pus Bucket (a reference to Ghost Busters) as his choice of cussing (if that even remotely counts).

And even if it’s not noticeable at first, is shown as having a secret teddy bear that he kept hidden under his mattress so I assume no one would see it.

He’s also a pretty innocent kid despite what all he sees. His mind doesn’t go to the gutter. He trusts people far faster than he should, even trusting Lady Shiva, the world’s most dangerous woman and know criminal right away.

Even Tim’s step-mother saying so out-loud. Showing that this is also the case in his personal life as well.

It also goes along with his social obliviousness. This stuff being rounded into not having any street smarts, which was a main theme for Tim directly in his first miniseries. As well as being naive.

Of course as life went on that wasn’t the case as much, but in the above screenshot, Dana (his step-mom) is saying that as Tim is already 16.

Tim in-general also being a super hero fanboy. As a kid he watched the news, clipped out the papers on them, collected, and even drew his own Batman art (and potentially) others to put on his wall.

Tim’s general behavior while socializing also depends on his emotions at the time. He’s normally very nice and friendly, when not super depressed or down on himself he’s bubbly. But he’s also still a kid, he can pout when he’s hurt, and passive aggressive to people he doesn’t like. Examples being, literally not listening to a jock that picks on his friends, an over-arrogant jerk he met in France, and even Steph because she kept being reckless and flirting with him when he didn’t like it.

Nothing straight up insults, but just generally passive aggressive, give them a clue he doesn’t like them very much even if it never worked. He just wants them to go away, unless they’re a straight up bully. Tim, if it’s no one he specifically knows that will invade his personal life, will beat up bullies. He really can’t stand a bully.

Another thing about Tim is that even though he’s an introvert typically, he’s also not very shy. A shy kid wouldn’t travel miles on a bike (and I freaking hope busses) to meet someone he barely knows because he believes in Batman needing a Robin. He also stands up to bullies, and unless he’s really uncomfortable could talk to about anyone. He even slept in only his briefs and undershirt in the house of someone he doesn’t know, with two people he also barely knows. With that example also probably adding up to the socially oblivious part of his personality.

As far as his relationships go, he canonically thinks of the Bat-Family as his family. Dick calls Tim his little brother, Babs treats Tim as her baby brother as well as acting like his/ Aunt/ Mom depending on the situation (I think Tim fell asleep on her couch after eating pizza while using his cape as a blanket and drooling. So Mom’s a stretch but still), Bruce is his distant but still father figure, Alfred is his grandpa (who he actually plays video games with), even Cass to an extent treating Tim as a baby brother as well.

He is very much the baby of the family. And Tim talks to them about personal stuff (bar Cass cause he was scared of her in the beginning), most of them from Alfred and Dick, to the mute hunchback in the Batcave Harold (who is a real character and I love him). He was always collecting advice from where ever he could get it.

He’s also intensely morally operated. He hates killing. He said he took an oath to let himself be killed before ever killing, getting PTSD from feeling responsible for a death, and even crying when he had genuinely thought Bruce killed someone.

As far as how he tries to present himself, he is constantly doing his best to take everything as seriously as he can, even shunning himself when he starts to stop taking things as serious, he wants to be seen as serious, trustworthy, and reliable desperately so he doesn’t let anyone down. He is constantly hard of himself, and is always trying to be what he thinks Batman wants him to be. Which is were a lot of his anxieties from. Even trying to think of what Batman or Dick would do because he regards them so highly. Even calling Bruce the great man he’s ever known I believe during one of his post-origin pre-Robin appearances.

He’s naive and oblivious of himself, as well as childish in some areas (I think his nanny yelled at him once for it), but overall what he tries to hardest at is taking everything seriously as possible, and using his brain as much as he can. He may not be the most mature, often actually handling situations very immaturely, but he does his best to at least seem like he’s mature, and to an extent he actually can be genuinely very mature, or at least as much as a naive oblivious child can be.

Dick:

This ones a lot shorter probably, because I don’t read him as much, but still have a good handle on him.

I think he’s a character very few always write correctly, because they ride too much into the friendly, compassionate guy. Which, compassion being his main motivator in how he goes about as much as he can, and he’s incredibly friendly, he’s also a very angsty and angry person deep down.

He’s a perfectionist, a trait fics tend to give to Tim more, but actually belongs to Dick. He gets really hard on himself when he thinks he messed something up badly, having nightmares over it, he doesn’t like himself when he messes up something badly. And even if he’s not a naturally angry person, when he is angry, he can be VERY VERY angry.

And until Batman writers in the early 00s started it, I wouldn’t even had considered him all that chatty. He had some jokes in him, was very light hearted when not in distress or mad, but as he was developed by Marv Wolfman, who basically created the Dick that has remained the base for him ever since, he was relatively a generally calm guy when he wasn’t emotional.

He was polite, a charming guy, the type of person you want to bring home to your parents basically. He dressed well. Did his best to keep people accommodated. 

He wasn’t a goofy, constant jokester that’d talk your ear off or keep begging for hugs. 

He’s not that kind of guy. He’s just a gentlemen.

He’s also not that much of a thot. He’s a “wait till it’s right” sort of guy when it comes to sex.

He’d do anything in the world he could to make sure his friends felt right too, and that they were okay.

But all this doesn’t mean he’s not just a one note personality. Depending on how bad he feels like he messed up, he’ll distance himself from people, stop caring as much about his appearance, get more violent and mean. He also doesn’t take well to Batman’s nonsense, he’s probably the person he got specifically mad at the most. He didn’t like the way Batman went about stuff after a while. He had complicated feelings towards him.

Despite people nowadays just thinking of Dick being Batman’s son officially, adopted, end of. That wasn’t exactly their relationship. Dick had a complicated relationship with Bruce. Part of him looked at Bruce as a big brother, and another half a dad, and he wasn’t even adopted, just a ward. Something that Dick was actually quite insecure about, till apparently he got adopted as a grown adult man (which I dunno is true or an edit, but I’ve seen it somewhere).

Dick’s relationship with Tim is pure big bro baby bro. He was very protective of Tim, calling him the closest thing to a brother he ever had, and little brother, before they were ever even officially brothers. He’d push Tim out of the way in times of big trouble, make him stand back, ruffled his hair all the time, and loved teasing him. But when they started off, Dick just sort of thought Tim was a weird annoying kid, given that Tim was acting so screwy during his origin, Dick really didn’t know what to make of him, but the closer they got, they got very very close. Dick cared a lot about Tim a ton once they got accommodated. Tim would even call Dick on the phone just to talk to him about anything from his day to his problems. Tim could count on Dick to help when ever he could. Tim was Dick’s dweebie baby brother who he took care of when needed. Even teaching Tim how to wash clothes personally since Tim didn’t have a clue. 

I don’t think him and Jason really had a relationship. He gave him a number to talk about stuff like Robin angst, and a few pics show they hanged out at least once or twice, but nothing suggests they were close. It seems like Dick was hard on himself, because Jason died before they could get close. After the Red Hood, Dick’s just kind of a-- dick to Jason, and Tim was too, but I don’t consider that in-character. Neither Tim nor Dick would be even remotely okay about the killing, but I can’t picture them treating him like he’s a joke and less than trash. Too much emotional baggage there. Tim would be distant to Jason, and Dick would be uncomfortable and conflicted. That’s my guesses on a more accurate relationship.

Dick’s always had a really big crush on Babs ever since he was a kid to the point they were stuck in a small area together and Dick lost dignity over-- I dunno, puberty effecting him. There’s no way I can put that that’s comfortable. But Dick has a crush on Babs, that got put into a romantic relationship both ways when they aged down Babs, but for some people the relationship is relatively gross because of the age gap, and feeling the need to age down a character like Babs, who just looked at Dick like a kid, to just date him. It’s complicated, and I dunno enough about them besides that exactly. I’m not the guy to ask on that.

He doesn’t have a proper relationship with either Duke or Steph, but it doesn’t seem like Dick’s ever been the fondest of Steph. And Duke’s new, and they only ever been around each other in fan service moments. So I don’t think he has a real actual relationship with Duke.

Dick and Cass despite I don’t think ever being shown much together, also had a sweet relationship. With Dick doing his best to make sure his sister (before she was adopted, but Dick treated her as one nevertheless much like Tim as Dick’s baby brother) was comfortable, acting goofy, and to  me coming across as if he’s always really wanted a sister. But they weren’t super close, but there’s enough there to say that they easily could become close.

Dick and Damian was mentor mentoree, and to a large extent Dick was Damian’s father figure as Bruce was dead. As written by Damian’s creator, Dick didn’t seem to like Damian at all in the beginning, but as Dick could realize and understand his responsibilities more, they did gain a closer bond. Dick would put Damian in line (besides when bad writers were too afraid to make Damian seem like he’s in the wrong fully), sometimes even the hard way, and could be very proud of him. They aren’t big bro little bro like how some current writers act for pandering purposes. But they did grow to be close, even if Damian’s naturally really emotionally distant. Dick always wanted the best for Damian, even if he couldn’t always handle it the right way or knew what to do. He was a guy in his early to mid 20s with the responsibilities of reraising a 10 year old kid that was raised and abused by a cult, who can blame him.

Damian

I’m kind of just getting Damian out of the way, because to be frank, he’s been a really crappily written character since his origin, because he personality just absolutely switches between every writer, and he’s just so badly written that way.

But I’ll go off of what I believe to be what his writer wanted, since that’s the most accurate you can get.

Damian was raised and abused in a cult. That dictates a lot of how he thinks.

He was not close to his mother (which is out of character for Talia, and they later switched that after the reboot, but to be frank if Talia was always in-character Damian wouldn’t exist as we know him. He’d be a total different person and character). And he seemed to despise the way his dad goes about things. He seemed very indifferent and had his mood set to angry in general when he first met.

Which made it all the weirder when an issue later Damian seems to want his parents to be together, despite making it clear he doesn’t even like or think much of either one of them at all.

He was also very entitled, because despite being treated as an experiment some of the time, he was also treated as a prince the other half of the time. He thought the world was his, and he deserved everything.

He nearly killed Tim because he thought he deserved being Robin, as Tim was just adopted and not a “real” son. Seemingly he thought that was what he had to do to have his dad accept him and treat him as he thought he should.

He also seems to think he’s above Jason as well.

He’s also shown as sexist and homophobic.

He was brash and reckless about everything. Had a talented in just about everything just because of how he was raised, and goes off on his own to do stuff, because I assume he thinks everyone else holds him back.

After Dick though, Damian learned to not be a murderer (which I also think he might’ve learned before cause he wants to live with Bruce, It’s a little weird and not given enough time to actually be developed fully in an easy to digest way. Which is another reason why I think he’s such a poorly written character), also more reserved, and reckless.

As he was originally intended, he was very tall and not cute. His height being around 5′2 to 5′4 at age 10. Meaning he was an inch taller than Tim was at 13 when Damian was 10 off of that first one, and only an inch shorter than Tim at the age he  met him, where Tim was 17 going on 18. It may not be drawn that way, but you also have to remember this is 00s and beyond era DC Comics were Tim despite being described as looking 12 got drawn as big as Dick sometimes. Don’t always use the art to go off of certain information. I say he wasn’t intended to be cute, because there’s a scene were he was at a gala, where a woman clearly wanting to gold-dig Gotham City’s most eligible Bachelor Bruce Wayne by getting close to her son, but she immediately backed away when she saw him.

Which sounds harsh, but Damian’s also basically the “anti-Robin”, he was everything a Robin wasn’t meant to be and he was intended to just die and that’s it. Hence why he was with Dick to keep the Batman and Robin dynamic intact, just in reverse. As you can see, they completely forgot what made Damian interesting when his character gained some consistency with his creator.

Damian’s development was that he grew a actual caring heart even if he still carried the generally same personality. He was dismissive of people, sexually harassed Steph, was generally anti-social-esque. 

And honestly because every writer after (even the one everyone seems to think is his best writer, which I massively agree times a billion and infinite more) just kept reverting him, again and again, even when they wrote stories with character development, it was gone again. And applied a whole bunch of traits that aren’t like Damian in the slightest, so if you pay attention. Ya can tell Damian’s not Damian, he’s literally not even a shell of his self. They just painted another one to look kind of like him, and even then they don’t do that because he freaking looks completely different some of the time. They botched him so much.

But that was the main thing about Damian. 

I think one reason he got close to Dick and no one else was because Damian from his origin (no matter how poorly written they showed it), always wanted to have a proper parent. Which it seemed he could never have. And Dick grew to serve that purpose, as Dick was the one teaching him lessons, and making sure he was actually safe.

But of course later on DC Comics literally forgot everything that was letting him slowly become a better character. So that sucks.

I partially came into this fandom because of Damian. So when I actually got to read him, I was so freaking miserable after. I genuinely wanted to like him so bad, even voicing that to people I was chatting too as I read the comics, but I literally just couldn’t see why anyone cared for his comics. I don’t think any of them are fully well-written.

But it did help me grasp what Damian’s suppose to be like as I could tell what he’s suppose to be and not suppose to be, much like how I learned about Tim’s actual personality vs the one writers that don’t care about him write.

Steph

Just doing this one to get a more negatively centered one out of the way, because I struggle to find any personality traits I deem actually likable when put under context.

Because she’s full of her self, reckless, cynical, more or less sexually harassed Tim, kissing him against his wishes (and before ya say Tim did that first. it’s a little less offensive when Tim didn’t do it sexually or romantically. That was just for a dumb trope. A reward kiss. It’s still gross, but it’s a different context that’s less directly offensive), goes behind people’s backs sometimes, can be emotionally abusive, and shows signs of physically abusive.

So I don’t exactly find her super likable. And her spot in the Bat-Family was so contrived, that often nowadays I just don’t pay attention her anymore, but in fairness a lot of that’s just cause she has crazy stans that start fights that were barely there, be hypocritical, and group bully folks. So it’s relatively hard for me to wanna look at her these days.

But to be more specific before she seems like an actual freaking demon woman or what ever. Some of that doesn’t come across as bad compared to what it could be. Besides the emotional abuse, that was just a thing and the comics and people just elected to ignore it even though that was written by her creator.

She’s reckless in a way where she clearly doesn’t have proper training to make sure no one or herself gets hurt. She’s been shown causing herself to get hurt or underestimate stuff. She also doesn’t listen to people that know more about what they do, and she usually relies on luck to get by.

She’s full of herself, because she more or less says she’s an adrenaline junkie, and might just be beating up bad guys because she finds it really fun and exciting. She likes the thrill. And tries to put a title of super hero on herself sometimes, because she tries to seem heroric as she does it. She also does it to make up for her dad, which is more admirable, but behavior wise and focus wise it’s more pinned on her just being an adrenaline junkie.

She also just constantly just flirt with Tim even when he didn’t want it. Which is what sexual harassment is. She also kissed him for her own satisfaction twice, once nearly getting them both killed cause people were shooting at them, and another as them and other people were close to freezing to death because they were stuck under snow. That kind of behavior able to be under sexual assault given the context for her kisses was just for herself. Even the time she tried to say it was to make up for Tim’s reward kiss, she quickly makes it obvious it was just because she’s very sexually attracted to him.

She also just nearly lets criminals die a lot because “What’s one more life”, and seems to not care much for the lesson of not killing, specifically her dad. Like she still has the moral standard not to kill, but compared to the others it’s not one she takes as serious. She learned her lesson on being cynical, but it’s still ingrained in her personality.

I also have a whole very long post on why her relationship with Tim doesn’t work, and how she was abusive. I don’t feel like going over that again but that’s a thing.

Besides Tim she has no real relationship with the others besides Cass, which is another relationship I don’t fully understand, because Steph borderline insults her, and Cass thinks she gets in the way so much she just fractures Steph’s jaw to knock her out. They gave them some admittedly cute moments, but it’s never felt right to me. Always felt forced and pandery, but it’s a thing. They’ve played tag each other, and talked about how both of their parents are abusive.

She also had one with in Batgirl, but the best I can describe that is, she helps Steph so she doesn’t hurt herself, and she can be pretty gruff sometimes, but is also caring. it’s just kind of a been there done that sort of thing.

A lot of Batgirl is sort of forced. Bat-Family has reasonable criticisms of her, writer does something to make them more unlikable so readers still like Steph, Steph proves them wrong, they respect her. It’s a formula for a few stories in her Batgirl run.

People have also said her and Damian have a sibling relationship, but I don’t agree with that. Damian sexually harassed her and kept looking at her boobs. Damian had a crush on her, but he was also a stubborn entitled jerk to her. Steph just got back at Damian by making him dress as a normal kid to embarrass him, and when she saw Damian never played before got him to jump on a bouncy castle. Besides generic banter that’s about it. And given Damian’s personality, they never did anything like that bouncy castle thing again. It’s a really big stretch to call that sibling-like. And even the stuff you could stretch is still doesn’t pay attention to the Damian talking about her boobs constantly thing. Parts of it was just pandery, as a lot of that Batgirl run was.

So I don’t overall have a good opinion of her. She’s perseverance and doesn’t give up, and won’t take no for an answer, but given the context it’s not in a good way besides saving Tim’s and others lifes a few times.

Babs

Despite having read her a lot I don’t know her a lot, because she’s typically always the other character in things. The lady that gets the information.

So I only know a few things about her.

She has the perseverance and won’t take no traits, but in a more positive context. She has no use of her legs but that doesn’t stop her from fighting crime and helping people.

She’s a serious, and mature personality. Every case is very seriously to her, besides a few Tim got into because they were just very goofy.

She can also joke a lot. She has a very teasing personality in her as well. Especially with Tim, she seemed to find Tim really cute and loved teasing him.

I pretty much only have panels of her and Tim besides a rare few maybe, cause as I said she’s mostly a side character helping out.

I have read Birds of Prey but that was possible a year or two ago, and I didn’t really pay attention so I’m not as sure.

She’s very leaderly, and will direct the traffic so to say. She’s a magnificent detective and hacker. Stands up for herself. Inquisitive. Her mind always seems to be thinking of the next thing to think about.

She’s a character I can’t talk about as well without it being one dimensional.

Cass

Cass is another character I don’t have the best grasp on but been trying to learn because she’s probably my second favorite Batkid even if I don’t understand her as strongly. But I do get a lot of her basic personality, and a bit of the nuances, even if I’m not ultra confident on it yet.

She’s quirky, she knows how to tease, but she can also be a bit objective based unless she’s bored it seems, like she does watch TV, but when she has a goal she will not stop until the goal is done. She’s a fully compassionate person as well, she sees little kid needing help, she helps little kid.

Also given her upraising she can be more socially oblivious than anyone else, even Tim. She’s walked around an apartment she was sharing with others butt naked. I think she accidentally flirted with Babs (not a shippy thing, it’s a, Cass said a thing she didn’t understand thing), because she couldn’t tell the difference between a platonic thing and cheesy romantic thing as she watched TV. 

She doesn’t always listen. She will just beat by her own drum unless she believes in something someone else said more.

Given her mind wasn’t raised to be socializing, a lot of this stuff makes sense and is kind of obvious when you think about it.

Cass can also be very stubborn when she has a goal, even when it’s against someone else’s wishes.

She’s mostly been a loner by herself, but she has grown to seem to genuinely like having company around to bond with.

She’s been shown being protective of Tim. Literally carrying him out of a fight zone.

Babs’s is more or less her mom.

Dick and Steph’s I’ve described before.

Distant with Alfred, but Alfred will occasionally drop by to help out. They’re still carrying if they aren’t as connected as others.

Not gonna lie I can’t remember her relationship with Bruce.

But that’s some of the basics and slight nuances of Batgirl. I’m still in the early part of learning about her. So I’ll probably understand her more later on. I genuinely really like her though. I like how she isn’t a one dimensional character like some writers make her out to be. She’s genuinely really fun to read.

Jason

I actually know Jason quite a bit because I made a big long post about his time as Robin (post-crisis only, not counting the scripts written before the 80s reboot, or anything inconsistent).

He’s anti-authority, angry, cusses, smokes, violent, murderous tendencies, aggressive, but also has a genuine heroic spirit, is appreciative of the opportunities he was able to have, loved being able to learn especially, had insecurities, and a lot of his violence was in the name of being a more aggressive way of justice. He’d never hurt an innocent.

A lot of this is explain by the fact he was raised on the streets more or less.

When ever he got especially violent was because of a bad guy hurting or killing an innocent or committing abusive acts of any sort. He probably seen a lot of bad stuff on the streets and doesn’t handle it.

He’s pretty decently cynical because of thinking that’s the best way to deal with it.

He was also moody, but after his upbringing that’s to be expected, and unlike what some thinks, Batman was actually understanding and did his best to help Jason back even if he didn’t get it as first.

Jason isn’t a villain, he is a pure anti-hero, he wants to help, he loves to help, when he feels like he should help he does. He just has his own way of doing it that lots don’t agree with.

When he became the Red Hood, all of this stuff just became amplified because of the traumatic event he went through and the feeling of not being avenged and abandoned again.

Where as before he’d nearly kill people, he outright does now with even left empathy. He had a sack of decapitated head once just so other criminals knew he wasn’t playing around. 

However his moodiness came out in different ways. He was actually a very calm, chill personality as the Red Hood, until his traumas got poked at, where he’d go back into his angry bitter ways, but to a more unstoppable way. He’d be more violent, more angry, more inconsolable, more unstable.

As the Red Hood, he is a very far ahead planner and tactition. People always call Tim the planner, but to me Jason is the planner and tactition of the group. He had a large plan that took a while to do, but caused him to accomplish a lot in a short time. Tim does it in the moment or moments before and does a fine enough job, but he isn’t a good leader. Dick is a good planner tactition and leader, but it can also just be shortly before he does something. Jason thinks very far ahead and how people will react and think, how to get under their skin, what will piss them off, what will give him what he once etc.

When he’s not unstable, he’s calm and collected, and is always trying to get under people’s skin. Not in a large over the top way, but just a bit. In an almost charming sort of way. A sly way. He pokes buttons when he’s calm and collected.

As to be expected his relationship with the Bat-Family is complicated. He’s mostly just in the Bat-Family almost purely because of his past in it, more than what he is currently. He’s more of a loner type that will get help when needed, but until the New 52 said otherwise, he’s not much of a team player as he mostly works by himself.

Bat-Family wants him to get better, but at the same time I think they recognize it’s gonna take a lot for Jason to get better, and since Jason is dangerous it creates a lot of overwhelming feelings. Bruce is upset at himself and is almost grieving Jason all over again, Dick has regrets he never had a chance to know him till then, and Tim’s relationship has been so varied and never really felt right, I’d say  most likely Tim would be scared of Jason, and upset at him. Jason was a Robin that killed. Going off of how Tim reacted to thinking Batman killed, he’d probably be genuinely miserable at the thought of what Jason became, and be distant from him.

Jason is sly and hard to read unless he’s emotional.

Duke

Duke is the hardest to say anything for, because he’s the newest, most obscure (even tho he is gaining quick prominence), and so therefore has less to go off of. Not helped by a lot of writers making him very two dimensional at best a lot of the time.

He is a natural leader, a dare-devil, very willing to put his life on the line at any time, and passionate and almost stubborn about helping people. He wants to save people, and he’s always wanting to help, because he wants to make his neighborhood a better place.

And that’s almost all I can say, because having read his mini-series he doesn’t have many character traits, and WE ARE ROBIN, where he was introduced and I got that from was short lived.

He’s only with the other Batkids when they really wanna pander, so I can’t even accurately say anything, and the few times you could make a guess it’s not in-character for the other. So he’s just hard to tell. Besides Cass.

I think he’d naturally get along with Bruce, Dick, and Tim, and he’s shown being closest to Cass in the Outsiders series. Considering Cass a sister I believe. They console in each other, care about each other, worry about each other, and look after each other. That’s the closest relationship he has.

But it’s hard to say a lot for him.

AGES:

To be blunt I can’t say with full accuracy because there’s so many inconsistencies plus reboots.

But I’ll go into oldest to youngest, because some don’t realize some ages.

Dick, was 21 when Tim was 13

Jason was 18 when Tim was 15

Cass is the same age if not older than Jason

Steph is two years older than Tim

I believe Duke is around the same age as Steph

and Tim and Damian’s ages off of that is pretty obvious.

--

Sorry this is so freaking long, but like I said, just DM me. I’m about to watch a movie, but I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. I at least hope this helped some, and if it’s too long, just message me because it’ll probably be less overwhelming then.

[anistarrose]

Fear The Reaper A Lot, Actually - Chapter 5

AO3

Summary: It’s time for the hunt to resume. Noelle makes a promise, Kravitz conducts an interview, Taako plans a séance, and Barry makes a friend.

Characters: Kravitz, Taako, Barry Bluejeans, Angus McDonald, Magnus Burnsides, Merle Highchurch, Noelle | No-3113, The Raven Queen, The Director | Lucretia, misc. BoB cameos, Julia Burnsides

Relationships: Taakitz, Angus McDonald & Taako, Barry Bluejeans & Kravitz, Kravitz & Angus McDonald

Sorry for the late update! I was sick on Tuesday and Wednesday, and then on Thursday I decided to focus entirely on losing my mind over the new TAZ episode, so that means it’s time for a rare Friday chapter. Lots of stuff is happening in this chapter, so hopefully it was worth the wait!

(Also, I normally don’t write the chapter titles on tumblr for this fic because it makes the title section of the post look cluttered, but this one is called “me and the boys at 2 am looking for jeans.” Just really wanted to make sure you were all aware of that fact.)

***

Long past the curfew established by the Reclaimers’ training routine, at the hour of night when the moonbase’s artificial lights dimmed and the bonfires on the planet below faded away, four pairs of eyes watched Avi from the shadows. A murmur of excitement escaped from behind one of the glass spheres when he yawned and checked his watch, followed by a chorus of disappointed sighs when he slapped himself across the face and set back to work unloading a new supply shipment, but he didn’t seem to notice them over the muffled roar of high-altitude winds.

Finally, a passenger sphere floated back into the port and the Bureau’s three top Regulators disembarked, back from a planetside drill that had run long. From her perch on Killian’s shoulder, Carey leaned down to affectionately slap Avi on the back, and he quickly accepted her invitation to join their gang for drinks at the Chug ‘N Squeeze. As Avi led the way out of the port, Carey and Killian hot on his heels while Noelle followed more distantly, there was much hushed rejoicing among their shadowy, impatient observers.

“Finally,” Taako huffed. “I was starting to think he was pulling an all-nighter.”

After checking one last time to make sure the coast was clear, Angus stepped out of his hiding place and reached for the door of the transport sphere, but Magnus grabbed ahold of him by the collar of his shirt.

“Sorry, little guy, but you’re staying behind this time.”

Angus opened his mouth to protest, then closed it again, at a loss for words for the first time since he’d started speaking in complete sentences at age fourteen months.

“It’s nothing personal, Agnes — we just need someone to stay behind and distract Avi if he comes back before we do,” Taako explained. “And no one can resist all your nosy questions once you get going, so you’re the perfect accomplice!”

“I can think of a few people who can resist it,” Merle scoffed. “Number one, me.”

Magnus ignored them both, kneeling down to look at Angus in the eyes. “Ango, if I’m being honest… we had some close calls last time, and that was in a cave where we honestly weren’t expecting to find anything besides a clue or two if we were lucky. Tonight, we’re going to try and get a lich’s attention, so this morning, we all sat down and talked about it and agreed we’ll feel better if you’re safe up here.”

Taako sighed. “Gee, way to let the kid know we actually care about him. Now his ego’s gonna grow until it’s bigger than mine, and then where will I be?”

“It’s okay, sir. I’m sure you and Merle will still find ways to keep me humble.” Angus managed a smile.

“Stay safe, all right?”

“That’s the spirit!” Merle laughed, as Magnus picked him up and placed him inside the sphere. “Now hurry up and set the trajectory, Taako. Barry Bluejeans isn’t gonna arrest himself —”

“Please, hang on just a second!”

Four heads whirled around to face the port’s exit hallway, where Noelle was floating.

“It’s just me, don’t worry!” she assured them, noticing Magnus and Angus’s guilty expressions and Merle and Taako’s panicked ones. “I won’t let the Director hear a peep of this, I promise — but if you’re going after Mr. Bluejeans, I’d like to come with you. If you’ve got room in that sphere, of course.”

“Well, the scale of this lich hunting team is rapidly veering past ‘secret club’ and careening into ‘elaborate conspiracy,’ but… I guess this whole bargain is about your life too, isn’t it?” Magnus thought out loud. “Taako, Merle, are you guys alright with this?”

“A ghost would know where to find another ghost better than any of us would, right?” Merle asked, and Taako shrugged.

“Then welcome to the lich-hunting conspiracy, Noelle,” Magnus declared.

On her way to the sphere, Noelle patted Angus on the head, surprisingly gentle despite her heavy robot arms. “Sorry, pal. I didn’t mean to replace you.”

“It’s okay, ma’am,” Angus told her. “I know you’re better in fights than I am, so… just be sure to keep them safe, okay? And if you get a chance, could you ask Barry if our theory about the Voidfish was right?”

Noelle’s face display flickered, somehow expressing a determined smile with just a few dozen lit-up pixels. “I’ll do my best, I promise.”

***

There were many reasons for a soul not to join the others in the Astral Sea, but most often, it was because they were waiting for someone. Luckily, the person Kravitz wished to speak with was one such soul, so he was able to find her in only a matter of minutes.

There was only one island in the Astral Sea with a cottage on it, after all.

Though expertly constructed, it was clearly unfinished, lacking a door, roof, or windows — so Kravitz knocked on the cedar doorframe, and waited outside for the house’s occupant to respond. Just seconds later, a tall woman with a bandana tied around her hair met him at the doorway, smiling sadly and shaking her head as she laid eyes on Kravitz.

“Oh. You’re the emissary of the Raven Queen. I’m sorry, I — I wasn’t sure if I was hoping or fearing that you were someone else.”

“I understand.” Kravitz said softly. “You’re Julia Waxmen-Burnsides, right?”

“That’s right.” Julia offered him a calloused hand. “Nice to meet — er, formally meet you, Death.”

“Death is my mother. Call me Kravitz,” Kravitz replied as he accepted the handshake, and Julia chuckled.

“Okay, Kravitz. What brings you over to my humble island?”

***

“Well, this spot should be as good as any,” Taako announced, kicking a pebble across the black glass circle that once was Phandalin. “Magnus, did you bring the sacrificial denim?”

“Sure did!” Magnus held up a pair of freshly purchased jeans. “Also some candles, and an ouija board that Carey helped me steal from Leon the other day as part my rogue lessons.”

“Tell Carey that gaslighting Leon is my job, and she needs to quit infringing on my brand.” Taako pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket, tried and failed to draw a circle on the glass, then conjured a paintbrush instead and started painting a pentagram.

Meanwhile, Noelle drifted around haphazardly, the lights on her face growing dim. “It’s… it’s so empty here. I was bracing myself for ruins, for bodies… but there’s just nothin’ left. I can’t even remember where the bar was, or the hotel, or the stables…”

Merle looked away. “Sorry we dropped the ball on this one, Noelle…”

“S’alright. You made up for it in the lab last week, with the savin’ the world and negotiating for my soul an’ all.”

“Well, don’t get too comfortable in your robot body, ‘cause we might not have much time left in the living world if Barry doesn’t show tonight.” Taako placed the jeans in the center of the pentagram, then lit them on fire. “But I think this’ll get his attention. Everyone, come join hands!”

Magnus kneeled and took Taako and Noelle’s hands, while Merle stood up on his tiptoes to do the same.

“You’ve done this before, right?” Merle whispered.

“Plenty of times.” Taako summoned a Mage Hand and adjusted his scarf to cover his nose and mouth, as the fire in the center of their circle intensified. “Noelle? Would you do the honor of reaching out for us?”

“Uh, I’ve never been to a séance quite like this one. Maybe you’d be the better one to —”

“Barry, you asshole! Too much of a coward to show your face!” Merle shouted. “Heard about how I banished Legion and got the heebie-jeebies, didja?”

The ruins of Phandalin fell eerily silent, aside from the quiet crackling of the fire.

“Sorry. Still not detecting any liches,” Noelle reported.

“Well, being a dick didn’t work,” Merle muttered. “Shoulda brought some booze and thrown a party — maybe that would get his lazy ass’s attention.”

“I’m pretty sure liches can’t drink, Merle,” Noelle told him. “And honestly, now that I’m thinkin’ about it, I can’t imagine why Barry would be obligated to haunt this here town just ‘cause it’s where he died. Are y’all sure this is the best place to look for him?”

“Positive,” said Taako, but Magnus spoke over him.

“Maybe we should widen our search area. Quick, what other places would be significant to Barry?”

“How ‘bout the cave where he got his ass kicked?” Merle suggested. “You know, the place where we met G’larg or whatever his name was.”

Magnus let go of Taako and Noelle’s hands to fan the air in front of him. “Well, a hike sure sounds better than standing around inhaling denim fumes, I’ll give you that.”

Taako extinguished the blaze then cast Phantom Steed, and Garyl manifested atop the embers of the fire, rearing into a majestic pose. “Hiking’s for chumps. Garyl and I will race you there!”

***

Julia led Kravitz inside the cottage, which smelled pleasantly of cedar and lavender, and motioned for him to sit down in one of two rocking chairs. She sat in the other, crossing her legs and absentmindedly rocking back and forth.

“So, Maggie went and got on the Raven Queen’s bad side, did he?”

“Not permanently, I’m hoping,” Kravitz replied. “I don’t know him as well as you, but he and his fellow death criminal associates don’t strike me as anything like the usual bounties I hunt. I was hoping you could testify on his moral character, and maybe also shed some light on how he cheated death, because he sure doesn’t seem to know.”

“Well, he’s survived some close battles — but I assume you’re looking for necromancy, not near-death experiences.” Julia drummed her fingers on the arm of the chair. “And I know Magnus is no necromancer.”

“I figured as much. Did he know any necromancers, though?”

Julia shook her head. “No. He’ll stand up to any authority figure if he believes they’re abusing their power, but that’s not because he just walks around looking for rules to break — it’s ‘cause he can’t stand injustice. He’s a good man, and I can’t imagine him throwing his lot in with a lich or someone like that to flaunt the laws of life and death…”

Her voice trailed off. “Do you know how long ago these so-called crimes happened?” she asked.

“They all registered in our system at once, about twelve years ago. Needless to say, I’m assuming he didn’t die 19 distinct times within minutes of each other, so there must’ve been some warding that was previously hiding him from our detection. We’ve seen that kind of thing before, although never quite to the same extent.”

“Twelve years ago was before I knew him,” Julia admitted. “I’m not sure I even know where he was living or what he was doing twelve years ago.”

“Forgive me changing the topic, but are his parents still alive? Or any siblings, aunts, uncles?”

“He was an only child, and his parents passed away before I knew him — I think he was an adult at the time, but barely, so… that would’ve been thirteen, fourteen years ago, maybe? He never told me how they died and I never pressed him, so — wait a second, you’re the Grim Reaper. Shouldn’t you know exactly who’s dead and who isn’t?”

“I really should,” Kravitz agreed, “and that’s the problem, actually. I can’t find any relatives of Magnus in the registry of deceased souls — no parents, no grandparents, no cousins…”

“You only found people who were Magnus’s family by marriage,” Julia realized out loud. “That’s why you came to talk to me.”

Kravitz nodded. “Exactly — but it gets even weirder. Magnus’s fellow adventuring buddies and apparent death criminals are an elf named Taako and a dwarf named Merle, whom I don’t suppose you know —”

Julia gasped, not in recognition, but in dawning realization. “Don’t tell me you can’t find their families, either.”

“All I found for Merle were some fourth cousins, and equally distant relatives. I couldn’t find anything about Taako.”

“The plot sure has thickened, huh?” Julia muttered. “You’re right that I don’t know Merle or Taako, they must’ve been… you know, after my time. But I can swear to you, if this is some kind of — some kind of necromantic conspiracy, then Magnus is the victim, not the one behind it. He could not and would not plan something like this for years while keeping it a secret all this time. He wouldn’t have hid it from me or from Steven —”

“I believe you,” Kravitz told her, “and I believe Magnus, when he says he genuinely doesn’t know how he died nineteen times. But because I believe you, and because I think you’re right on the mark with regards to a necromantic conspiracy, I have one last question: have you ever heard the names Lup or Barry Bluejeans?”

Julia snorted quietly at the latter name, but shook her head. “No. Are they… necromantic conspiracy suspects?”

“You could say that. More specifically, they’re liches whom we first detected around the same time as Magnus. At the time, I assumed it was a coincidence, but now… well, there a few different first impressions of Magnus and his adventuring buddies that I’m reevaluating.”

“Tell me about it. That man contains multitudes.” Julia leaned back in her rocking chair. “If there’s anything else I can do to help exonerate Maggie — any questions or testimony you need — I’m sure you’ll be able to find me here for a long, long time, but… can I ask something of you, if it’s alright?”

“Depends. What is it?”

“Can you help me send a letter?”

***

For the first few hundred feet of the race, Noelle kept up with Taako via her rocket boosters, but then opted to save her fuel, and Garyl surged ahead towards the mountains.

“Eat my dust!” Garyl whinnied. “I’m gonna find those oatssss!”

“Liches, Garyl. We’re looking for liches,” Taako reminded him.

“Yeah, but liches always have some loose spectral oats in their robe pockets!” Garyl scaled the foothills with ease, leaving a cloud of dust in his wake. “Sometimes they even give me spectral sugar cubes! Why dontcha ever hang out with liches anymore?”

Taako yanked on the reins. “Excuse me?”

“You haven’t given me sugar cubes in decades,” Garyl moaned as they came to a halt. “Or even spectral carrots.”

Taako dismounted, turning away from the face of the mountain to look at Garyl in his iridescent rainbow eyes. “You gonna elaborate ‘bout me allegedly hanging out with liches, pal?”

“What is there to elaborate about? You used to hang with liches, and then you just —” Suddenly, Garyl’s eyes went wide. “Look out! Above you!”

Taako dismissed Garyl with a wave of his hand, and the binicorn disappeared in a flash of rainbow smoke. “Yeah, no, I’m not buying that. You’re just pulling my leg again —”

He turned around slowly and casually, not expecting to see anything out of the ordinary — only to find himself facing a crumbling mountainside, dozens of massive boulders already rolling on a trajectory straight towards him.

He instinctively raised his Umbra Staff, only to freeze up, no idea what spell he could cast in time to save himself — but then something in his peripheral vision flashed red, and not a full second later, he was standing atop a distant hill, a hundred meters away from the site of the rockslide.

“Are you okay?” a voice behind him rasped. “I didn’t mean to startle you — I know you probably had it under control, but I — I just panicked. Sorry.”

Taako turned around to face a familiar red-robed specter, two vaguely eye-shaped lights under his hood looking Taako over.

“You know, I was actually pretty un-startled until you popped up behind me and started rasping in my ear! Let an elf have his personal space, Barold!”

“What?” The lights beneath Barry’s hood froze in place, as did every thread of his robe, paralyzed in spite of the gentle breeze. The rasp in his voice dissipated as he went on: “Taako, how much do you remember?!”

Taako blinked. “Remember?”

“Talk to me, Taako! Please!” Barry grabbed Taako by the shoulders, incorporeal hands trembling. “Do you remember your sister? Do you remember Lup?”

“Ugh, that sound! Why do you have to do that right in my face?” Taako shrugged off Barry’s barely-tangible grip, clapping his hands over his ears.

“You heard static?” Barry gasped. “Oh, no. No. I thought —”

“You bet I just heard the worst five seconds of ASMR ever! What do you want from me, man? All I know about Lup is that she’s a lich like you, ‘cause that’s all Kravitz could tell me —”

“Kravitz told you about us?!”

“Yeah, he did! Told me you two were his most elusive bounties, and that I could never let my guard down around you!” Taako reached into the quiver slung over his shoulder, pulling out a sapphire arrow. “And I think it’s about time I gave him a heads up that you’re hanging out right here, soul ready for reaping —”

“Do NOT summon Kravitz!” Just seconds before Taako plunged the arrow into the ground, Barry tore it out of his hand and hurled it through a rift. “Why the fuck would you summon Kravitz?!”

Taako’s grip tightened on his Umbra Staff, and Barry recoiled. The lights under his hood looked like they were melting, shedding glowing droplets that cascaded down some semblance of a face within the void.

“Taako, please,” Barry pleaded. “I’m not your enemy, and — and Lup isn’t either, I swear! She wouldn’t want this!”

Taako raised the Umbra Staff to cast, but no spell fired from the umbrella as it shuddered in his hand.

“You can’t listen to what Kravitz tells you — he doesn’t know why we became liches! He doesn’t know about the Hunger!” Barry’s robe was fraying before Taako’s eyes, crimson threads unraveling at the edges of his sleeves. “What if — what if he thinks you’ve cheated death? What if he sends you to the Eternal Stockade?! Taako, I’m begging you, I — I — I don’t know what I would do if I lost you too!”

Taako cast again, and the Umbra Staff still refused to fire, the beginnings of a spell entering his arcane focus on one end but never leaving it on the other. As Barry drifted closer, sparks jumping between stray red threads and face a mess of swirling light and shadow, Taako turned to his last resort — stalling for time.

“You know, Kravitz was thinking real hard about sending me to ghost jail the other day, but I convinced him not to. Don’t you want to hear my side of the story?”

Barry froze, the unraveling of his robe momentarily halted. “In the Miller lab? What happened?!”

“We made a deal. He was going to arrest me, Magnus, Merle, Lucas, and Noelle — but I got an idea he liked better. I asked if he’d let us go free if we captured another bounty or two for him — so he gave us two months to capture you and Lup.” Taako shrugged, so focused on trying not to panic that he hardly noticed the sound of electricity crackling and fabric tearing. “So if you just turn yourself in, then at least you’ll only have to worry about me half as much.”

Barry convulsed as a jagged gash tore through his robe from shoulder to waist, an intangible darkness spilling out from within him and pooling on the ground below.

“LUP!” he shouted, voice echoing between mountains and through underground lairs for miles and miles. “They — they signed their own death warrant, Lup! I — I can’t do this without them, I can’t do this without you — where ARE YOU?!”

“Taako! There you are!”

Magnus sprinted onto the scene, Merle and Noelle hot on his heels. He thrust himself between Barry and Taako, then pulled a sapphire arrow from his own belt, jabbing it into the shadow-covered ground at Barry’s feet. “Kravitz, we’ve got a bounty for you!”

The lights beneath Barry’s hood coalesced back into two flickering eyes that immediately fixated on the arrow, which was already engulfed in a crackling blue aura.

“Boys, I promise I’m going to fix this,” he rasped, and then vanished into thin air.

“Wait, come back!” Merle called out, rushing towards the spot where Barry had been floating. “I didn’t even get a chance to talk to you —”

Taako yelped as his Umbra Staff inverted, and the arrow flew through the air towards its maw — but milliseconds before the umbrella snapped shut around it, Kravitz manifested in a puff of smoke, already dual-wielding sapphire scythes.

“Did you find Barry? Where is he?”

“He got away, I think,” Magnus sighed. “I probably shouldn’t have summoned you where he could see, but I rushed in because I was so worried about him hurting Taako —”

Noelle floated around Taako in tight circles, scanning him from all angles. “It doesn’t look he hurt you, but… I’m getting some traces of conjuration magic? Did you have a wizard’s duel or something?”

“Oh, god no. I probably wouldn’t be alive if we had,” Taako admitted. His heart was still pounding, but he tried not to let it show. “Conjuration magic, though… let’s see. That would probably be from when he — when he teleported me away from the mountain, after those rocks started falling.”

“Those rocks?” Noelle gestured towards the massive pile of rubble at the foot of the nearest mountain. “Those look like they could’ve killed you!”

“I know, right?” Taako replied. “Very uncharacteristically benevolent of him to show up when he did.”

“As great as it is that you’re not dead, Taako, it was also very convenient of him to show up when he did,” Kravitz paced across the hilltop, scythes crossed in front of him like the world’s most dangerous dowsing rods. “I can’t sense his presence anymore, meaning he’s squirreled himself away in some sort of warded hideout… but if he appeared out in the open here only shortly after you did, then that hideout of his must be nearby.”

He turned away from Taako, facing the mountains. “Which means he’s still nearby.”

Taako felt his hand grow warm, and looked down to see his Umbra Staff, energized from the absorption of the arrow… and pointing directly at Kravitz’s back.

“Let’s search the area.” Kravitz continued. “Leave no stone unturned —”

Taako pointed the Umbra Staff towards the sky — not a moment too soon. A beam of white-hot plasma pierced the clouds above and bathed the entire mountain range in daylight for a fleeting moment, before it fizzled out with a crackle of electricity and a whiff of ozone.

Kravitz whirled around. “Taako?!”

“I didn’t cast that spell! I don’t know how to cast that kind of spell!” Taako gasped. “My umbrella’s been acting up all night, but I didn’t know it could act up like this!”

Kravitz sighed and placed a hand on Taako’s shoulder.

“You know, on second thought,” he said, “maybe we should postpone the lich hunting until you get that thing checked out.”

***

Merle made a beeline for his bed the second the gang returned to the moonbase, while Taako took it upon himself to relay the night’s events to Angus as a bedtime story, and hopefully ensure that the kid actually got some sleep. Noelle had opted to stay planetside for a little longer and fly back up to the moon on her own later, explaining that she needed some time alone to process what had happened in Phandalin, and that left Magnus and Kravitz alone in the common room between the Reclaimers’ individual dorms.

“There’s no way Angus will relax enough to fall asleep in the next week if he hears about what happened tonight,” Magnus sighed, collapsing onto the couch. “Either Taako lies and says nothing happened, or he uses a sleep spell on a ten year old. You wanna make a bet on which?”

“I’ll pass. But you just reminded me, I actually have something for you.” Kravitz rifled through the interior pockets of his vest, pulling out a piece of shimmering blue paper. Although folded over on itself several times, it still felt almost intangibly thin, like parchment woven from cobwebs or even air itself.

Magnus raised an eyebrow, skeptical. “That better not be magical junk mail.”

Kravitz smiled, slowly shaking his head. “I spoke with someone in the Astral Plane today who had a lot of good things to say about you,” he explained. “She’s waiting to see you again, but hopes that day won’t come too soon, and… well, I haven’t read her letter, but I’m sure it speaks for itself.”

Magnus accepted the paper gingerly, eyes tearing up as he unfolded it to reveal Julia’s handwriting.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

Kravitz plucked a raven feather from his robe, transmuting it into a quill pen with a snap of his fingers before handing it to Magnus. “I don’t allow this kind of thing every day, so don’t go around telling too many people about it — but you can use this pen to write a response on the back. Fold it up again once you’re done, and it’ll make its way back to her.”

Magnus leapt up from the couch to crush Kravitz in a hug that would’ve knocked the air out of his lungs, had he still been alive and breathing.

“Thank you,” Magnus repeated. “Thank you —”

Taako barged into the room, Umbra Staff slung over his shoulder. “You wanna guess what ‘cha boi had to do to get the kid to go to sleep? I’ll give you a hint, it wasn’t — okay, what am I interrupting here?”

A joke no doubt on the tip of his tongue, he froze as he noticed the tears running down Magnus’s face. “You okay there?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I think so.” Magnus let go of Kravitz, wiping his eyes and picking up the pen and letter again. “I — I’ll be in my room. I need some time to… I just need some time.”

Taako nodded. “Don’t forget to get some sleep yourself. Apparently you humans need, like, eight hours of it, go figure.”

“He’ll be alright,” Kravitz whispered to Taako, as Magnus closed the door to his room. “He just got a letter from someone he hadn’t heard from in a while.”

“‘Course he’ll be alright. He’s Magnus, he’s indestructible,” Taako replied, but Kravitz could hear the relief in his voice. “And in case you were wondering, the way to get Angus to fall asleep is to read him a detective story, but only as a distraction while you’re preparing a Sleep spell.”

Kravitz chuckled. “You know, speaking of distracting — what’s with that flashing Chug ‘N Squeeze sign on the moon campus? I don’t think it was there when I visited you the other day.”

“Oh, that? I think it’s some kinda wine and pottery place — why, you wanna check it out? ‘Cause it’s supposed to open in a day or two, or so says all the hottest moon gossip.”

“Well, I mostly just asked out of morbid curiosity, but it does sound like something I could enjoy ironically — and maybe even unironically, as a break from all this lich hunting and detective work. Do you want to check it out with me?”

“Oh, a wine and clay vacation day with the Grim Reaper? That’s a hell yeah from Taako!”

***

The second Barry returned to his cave, he bolted straight for an unassuming chest beneath a pile of discarded scrolls and tattered jeans. Though it only occupied about two cubic feet, it was warded against everything from fire to water to acid, and sealed with an arcane lock — which Barry dismissed by uttering the passcode, emergency bonds.

From inside, he retrieved a handful of trinkets — a driftwood necklace from Merle, a wand that Magnus had once unsuccessfully tried to summon a dog familiar with, and most important of all, a dozen different wedding rings, all hewn from different materials and given in different ceremonies on entirely different worlds. Barry picked up the envelope beneath them and then gingerly placed them back in the chest, opening the envelope to look through the pictures it contained.

The shadowy essence of his lich form had stopped leaking out of his robe the second he’d opened the chest and been comforted with the wave of nostalgia, but he felt his soul stabilize even further as he pulled out the first picture. It was a candid shot of him, Lup, and Taako in the Starblaster’s lab, buried up to their elbows in notes as they studied the Light of Creation, which the camera had only been able to capture as a vague white blur. The three of them all had bags under their eyes, but they were still smiling. They’d been so determined to develop a new theory, to find the answers that would save them and their family.

And there was no reason for Barry to abandon that determination or give up on that goal now.

For the next four hours, he scrawled calculations on almost every blank scrap of paper he had at his disposal, comparing research he’s done half a century ago with papers he’d read on cycles even further back. He unfurled no less than five individual maps of Faerun, circling promising locations before changing his mind and scratching out all but a few that he’d personally visited in the past.

By the time his plan was complete, almost all of the rips in his robe had mended themselves — though he still looked unsettlingly threadbare, and he trembled slightly even while floating in one place.

How long did Taako say they have? Two months, as of the crystal incident? There’s no need to panic — I’ve got time. I just need to play this smart.

He extended his senses outside of his lair, scanning the surrounding area for Kravitz or another emissary of the Raven Queen — and there was indeed an undead presence lurking near Phandalin, but unlike Kravitz, it lacked even the faintest trace of celestial energy. Even stranger, its aura seemed shielded, but less so than a lich possessing a living body would’ve been… as if the soul was inhabiting an inorganic body, instead.

The robot no doubt sensed him approaching, but gave no sign of signalling for help, which made Barry feel much better about his decision to venture out of the safety of his cave.

“Mister Bluejeans? That you?” she asked, and the sound of her voice was all it took for Barry to connect a series of dots that couldn’t have been further from his mind just a few moments ago.

“I know you. You were in the Cosmoscope — and before that, you were in Phandalin. You were a halfling.”

“That’s right. I’m Noelle — Noelle Redcheeck. I’m surprised you remembered me.”

“I’m surprised you’re not furious with me,” Barry whispered. “I couldn’t save you, or anyone else in Phandalin — I’m so sorry, Noelle. Maybe, maybe, if I’d been in my lich form, I could’ve —”

“You tried your best,” Noelle assured him, “just like the Reclaimers. Really, the only person I should blame is whoever made that terrifying gauntlet in the first place —”

“No,” Barry interrupted. “I knew her, and I knew how implausible this will sound, but she didn’t want this. She tried her best to stop it, too.”

Noelle took a moment to reply. “It sounds like you know a lot of things that the Bureau doesn’t.”

Barry nodded. “Speaking of which… I really shouldn’t stay out here in one place for much longer, or someone will sense me, be it the Bureau or Kravitz. Do you mind if we take this conversation somewhere else?”

“Just lead the way.”

They headed not to Barry’s main hideout, but to a slightly nearer cave that he used mainly for storage but had placed equally powerful wards over. Abjuration had never been his specialty, but his ability to pick it up on the fly had been invaluable during his time as a rogue lich — and now, he thought, my abjuring might be the one thing that saves my family’s lives. Funny how that works out.

“So, Noelle,” he asked out loud, “I saw you with Magnus and Merle earlier. Do they know you’re still down here?”

“I told them I wanted to stick around Phandalin for a while and think about what happened,” Noelle explained. “Which, come to think of it, wasn’t a total lie — because I did want to talk to you about Phandalin, and I guess I got that chance after all. But I’m also here because I promised my detective friend that I’d ask you something.”

“Assuming your friend’s alive, then they probably won’t even be able to comprehend the whole answer — but fire away, and I’ll tell you what I can.”

“Did the Voidfish erase the fact that you were a lich?”

“Getting right to the root of the problem, huh?” Barry paused. “Hmm. Let me put it this way — the Voidfish erased all memories that could make me believe I was a lich. Whenever I’m alive, whenever I’m amnesiac, the idea that I could be a lich or even a necromancer just sounds like a joke. I’ve tried leaving messages to remind myself of that fact, after coming back to life — but my living self never believed it.”

“It sounded like a joke to Magnus and the others, too.”

Barry sighed. “That’s ‘cause they’ve lost a lot of memories of their own.”

“But… they’re innoculated. How is that possible?”

“Noelle, we’re well past the point where I need to warn you about keeping this conversation a secret from the Bureau, right? And… probably from your detective friend, too, assuming they work for the Director?”

“Yeah,” Noelle sighed. “Angus will be disappointed, but I understand.”

“There’s a second Voidfish,” Barry explained. “It’s very well guarded, and only the Director’s been innoculated by it — so she’s used it to erase all kinds of information, from the Reclaimers’ pasts to… a coming storm, which this world is unlikely to survive.”

“This storm… will it be worse than the Grand Relics? Worse than what happened to Phandalin?”

“It’ll be not just worse, but maybe even infinitely worse. Because it’ll go on to destroy worlds beyond this one, if we let it.”

Barry had forgotten what it felt like to speak so freely about his past and the Hunger, to speak without worrying that his words would be distorted by static, and more and more information just poured out, far more than he’d initially intended to share.

“There is an entity called the Hunger that seeks to consume all of existence, and it’s only a matter of months until it begins its assault on this planar system. The Director and the Reclaimers and I, we were all like family, and we worked together in search of a way to destroy this Hunger, but… we had some disagreements. And really, neither side was right, but Lucretia — Lucretia used the Voidfish to erase our whole mission, the Hunger included. I became a lich to protect my family from the Hunger, so… when I’m alive, I don’t have any memory of being undead. And my family doesn’t have any memories of me… aside from that time in Phandalin when I got Merle to stab himself with a fork, I guess, which probably didn’t leave a great impression.” He managed a bitter laugh.

“How long ago did they forget?”

“Almost ten years ago.”

“I’m so sorry.”

It dawned on Barry that he was having most sincere, two-sided conversation he’d experienced in a decade — and ironically, the realization left him at a loss for words.

The same couldn’t be said of Noelle, who continued on without hesitation. “I promised my friend Angus not just that I’d get answers, but also that I’d look out for the Reclaimers. I don’t want the Grim Reaper, or the apocalypse, or whatever’s coming to hurt them — or anyone else in this world, like Angus, or Carey and Killian, or my family in Hogsbottom — so please, Mister Bluejeans, tell me what I can do to help. I want to do something with this extra time the Reclaimers gave me.”

“If you get caught helping me,” Barry warned her, “you’ll be imprisoned one way or another — either on the moonbase, or in the Eternal Stockade, depending on who catches you.”

“Well first of all, it sounds like at the rate I’m going, I’m gonna end up either back in the Astral Plane, or consumed by this Hunger entity in a matter of months if I don’t do anything to help you,” Noelle replied. “And second of all, I’m not plannin’ to just give up and let them arrest me if I do get caught.” She cocked her arm cannon.

Maybe it was risky to accept help from someone he barely knew, but Noelle had seemed nothing but sincere — and Barry had spent so long working alone that frankly, he was amazed it hadn’t killed him yet. He was a creature of bonds and of love; he sought out companionship by both nature and necessity. He didn’t know if he could do this alone, but alongside another undead soul who could actually understand and help, he knew for a fact that he could.

“Welcome aboard, Noelle.” Barry chuckled. “First things first: I’ve tried to stay out of the Raven Queen and her servants’ ways, because they’re really not evil at all, but if there’s any chance of stopping the Hunger, then we’ll need Taako and the others’ help for sure. Which means we’re going to have to do something about the Grim Reaper situation —”

“You know, I might have something to help with that.” A drawer Noelle’s main body slid open, revealing a sapphire-tipped arrow. “Magnus figured we should all have some summoning beacons on our person, in case of emergency.” She winked. “But I was thinkin’ we could use it to lure him into some kinda sinister trap.”

She paused. “He can’t eavesdrop on us through this thing, can he?”

“Not if we don’t say his name. But I’d close that drawer for now, just to be on the safe side.” Barry said as he summoned a scroll and pen, then started jotting down notes. “This is all perfect, though! I already hashed out the spell theory for a plan, but you just made it about a billion times easier to pull off — not just because of the arrow, but because you can gather components, and I won’t have to risk him sensing my location and realizing what I’m up to!”

“Makes sense,” Noelle replied, looking over Barry’s list. “That’s all you need me to get?”

“Yeah. I was thinking most of it would be salvageable from the Miller Lab — uh, except maybe the iron filings, which are commercially available anyway.”

Noelle beamed. “I won’t let you down, Mister Bluejeans.”

“Thank you, Noelle.” Barry looked down at his robe, which looked less tattered and more vibrantly red than he’d seen it in years. “For everything.”

***

End notes:

Apologies in advance if the update schedule gets a bit less consistent from here on out, since I’ve burned through my pre-written buffer chapters, but I’ve at least got a solid chunk of Chapter 6 written and a detailed outline for the chapters after that! It’s just about getting into the write headspace to write.

as usual, comments/reblogs mean a lot!

[sparklingnight02]

The case: a poly diamond, mafia human au

This fic was inspired by @aplgreen‘s mafia au, if she sees this, I hope you like it, I’m a really big fan of your mafia au, so I decided to show that love by writing this. I never saw any mafia White fanart about what she’s like after CYM, so sorry if this is really off, I’m just speculating this is what she’s like.

Two years after discovering Steven and sorta getting him to join, White Diamond got together Yellow and Blue Diamond at her base of operations to discuss a certain suitcase they needed to retrieve, they tried to get it smuggled in from another country, but failed and got it picked up by the police.

As they were discussing how to get it back, they heard the door unlocking and saw Steven walk in. “Steven!” Yellow and Blue both ran over to hug him, mean while White just stayed at the table and gave a small smile and subtly waved hi, Steven just waved back and gave her a kinda forced smile.

“Don’t worry about her, she’s just worrying about this mission we have to go on.” Blue assured him.

“What mission?”

“We teamed up with another gang in South America, they said to get this case into the US, but while trying to smuggle it in, we got caught and now the police have it. That suitcase had something very important in it, and right now we’re just fussing over how to get it back.”

“Maybe I can help. I’m new to this, but believe me, I already have a million ideas about how to do that.”

“That is both very helpful, and very disturbing...I’m not sure how I should feel about this.” White decided to jump into the conversation by voicing her slight concern and excitement.

As Steven sat down at the table where White had a map of the police station laid out, all three of them were talking about how to sneak in, until Steven just said:  “We’re not breaking you three in, we’re going in the front door.”

“WHAT!?!?!?” All three of them just shrieked and turned their heads to look at Steven. White got up from her chair and held Steven by the shoulders and looked him in the eyes as she expressed the obvious problem with his plan.“Uh, Steven, I’m not sure if you got this but, we’re one of the most wanted criminal gangs in the country, walking in the front door would be like asking the police:  ‘hey here we are guys, come and arrest us!’ and I don’t intend on letting that happen.”

“Oh no, I know about how wanted you guys are.”

“Then WHY are you telling us to get ourselves arrested!?”

“Because they won’t know who you are.” White just looked back at Yellow and Blue who both just nodded, telling her they want to listen to what he has to say.

“We’re listening.” She let go of Steven’s shoulders and pulled out a forth chair while she sat back down in her own.

Steven explained that what he had in mind was disguising them and simply saying they had the case stolen from them from South America and that they want it back now. They thought about and in the end decided his plan would be a lot less riskier than what they had planned.

Steven ran out and got everything they were going to need: lots of face paint, colored eye contacts, wigs, clothes, makeup, he got nail clippers for White, since everyone kinda knew she had claws for nails, but she refused to let him anywhere near her, she said she’d just wear gloves.

Once Steven was all done with everything, Blue was now a white girl with skin tight light pink jeggings, and a blue V neck shirt with hazel eyes and light brown hair, it was still super long though. Yellow had black hair with basically an entirely black wardrobe, black jeans, same shirt as Blue only black, and a black hoodie with black ankle-high high heel boots, her eyes were now green. White now had a light purple, plaid, office-like shirt with sleeves rolled up to half way up her forearm with buttons holding them that high, she had pink jeans and a flower belt (which she thought looked ridiculous) with white knee-high high heel boots, her eyes were blue and she now had long, wavy, blonde hair and white leather gloves that went up to her elbows.

“Okay you’re all ready, now just let me do the talking in case they somehow recognize your voices and we get our cover blown.”

“Um, sure Steven, but one problem.”

“What is it Blue?”

“What about ID? I doubt the police will let us get the case if we can’t prove to them we really are who we say we are. Especially with three wanted criminals trying to get this case back, we fit those descriptions perfectly, even if we look different.”

“I don’t think that’ll be much of a problem, Connie once created fake drivers licences to race this guy down a mountain, and we got away with it, I’m sure she can create fake ID’s for you guys too.”

After telling Connie what they needed, they waited patiently for her to get there and give them their fake ID’s. Once she got there, she said all they had to do was get a picture of them in their new looks, and then they’re all set.

___

As they walked into the station, they noticed it was fairly busy, there was a fairly thick crowd outside the station in the parking lot, and even more people inside.  “Steven, I’m not so sure this is a good idea anymore.” Blue quietly whispered in his ear.

“Yeah I’m with Blue on this, I’m usually used to running from the police, not walking right up to them.” Yellow walked up behind Blue and put her hand on her shoulder.

“Guys, come on, look at everyone, they’re not even looking at you, they’re all looking at-”

“OOF!” Blue accidentally walked into an officer and almost tripped, luckily Yellow caught her and quickly snapped at the officer.

“Hey why don’t you watch where you’re going buster! Your job is supposed to be protecting others, not being blind about where you’re walking!” the officer quickly panicked to apologize as Yellow kept yelling at him until Blue jumped in.

“Dear, it’s alright, I wasn’t hurt and it was just an accident, there’s no need to get mad over such a small mistake.”

“Mmm, I suppose if you weren’t hurt, I could keep my cool this one time.” Blue just sighed with relief as they walked away, unknown to Yellow and White, Blue had just possibly saved Yellow from being shot, or worse, killed.

As Steven was talking the officer behind the desk, Blue quickly pulled all of them into a huddle and whispered: “Guys we need to get out of here now, these aren’t citizens or officers, they’re all...” just before Blue could finish her sentence, everyone in the room pulled out guns and all four of them had their hands in the air. “...gang members.”

Three burly looking dudes came over and quickly searched them, throwing away the gun White brought. “You brought a GUN White? To a police station?” Steven said with his eyebrow raised.

“Hey I hid it my pants, who would look there?” Just as she said that, everyone in the room just looked at the guy who threw the gun off of White, and he quickly just ran outta the station. An even bigger dude then came up to them and everyone cleared outta the way as he walked towards them, they assumed this guy was the gang leader.

“Well well well. The great White Diamond and her two most trusted members.”

“Father.”

“WHAT!?!?!? FATHER!?!?!?” Everyone just yelled as White addressed the man in front of them. “THIS GUY IS YOUR FATHER!?!?!?”

“I’m sorry I never said anything sooner! But when you have a dad that never wanted you and killed your mother...well...you don’t like to talk about him much.”

“I have to admit, I was quite surprised that our little trap worked. When I heard you lost a very important suitcase, I instantly knew this was the perfect opportunity to set a trap, although it was very risky I’ll say that, getting my entire gang here just to kidnap everyone in this station and make it empty except for us.”

“And I doubt that when you say ‘us’ you mean both our gangs, and not just your gang and our dead bodies.”

“Right you are dear. Only I can’t possibly kill you first, what do you think people will say when the see I killed my own daughter first? I’m not a monster. So...who do you think I should kill first?”

“Pfft, right, because killing her last rather than not killing her at all makes you less of a monster.” Yellow quietly scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“Well, looks like little miss smart ass here is volunteering, or do you want me to kill your wife first?” This just made Yellow jump and start babbling to not kill Blue and to kill her first, THIS just made everyone start screaming: no don’t do it, and no don’t kill her. “Well if she wants to die, I can’t really say no to a suicide mission now can I?” He loaded his gun and held it against the bottom of her chin with his finger on the trigger now. “Any last words bitch?”

“Just one: JASPERRRRRRRR!!!!” Unknown to many, Yellow actually has an insanely loud voice, enough to immobilize everyone in the room, once the echo left, they could hear a very faint rumbling above the entire building, before the middle of the roof exploded, crushing a few gang members, and killing others from the rubble.

Out of the hole blown in the roof, now came a very unmistakable rumble of helicopter blades and now a rope ladder, Yellow shoved her way threw the confused crowd and grabbed onto the ladder. “Climb on, we need to get out of here!”

Everyone tried to get out of there safely, however...White’s foot got tangled in the ladder and she got stuck, getting herself shot at in the thigh, causing her to scream loudly, Steven quickly untangled her foot and Yellow and Blue helped her into the helicopter being piloted by one of Yellow’s most trusted pilots and gunners.

Steven and Blue quickly helped White, laying her down and propping up her back a little with a pillow they had for some reason, Blue wandered around to her left thigh where she got shot, and got out a tissue from her pocket to try and clean up the blood, luckily before she joined the Diamond Authority gang, she was an experienced nurse and knew how to treat bullet wounds, however when she touched White’s wound, she just winced in pain.

“Sorry White.”

“It’s okay, I took the bullet, I’m sure I can take this.” After cleaning her wound and stopping the bleeding, she looked around the copter for anything to help her close the wound, but her first aid kit wasn’t there.

“We’ll have to wait to help White anymore then I already have until we get back to our base, I don’t have anything I need, and if I try anything else as a substitute it might make her injury even worse than it already is, or even make it infected.”

“Wait! Jasper go back, we still need that case!” Yellow quickly looked out at the building.

“Yellow we can’t go back White’s hurt and the entire place is still swarming with her father’s gang. It’s too dangerous with one of us down.”

“We can’t let just one down person stop us Steven, I’ll just gun everyone from up here and go get it myself.”

“Wanna bet that when they took everyone in that station they also took the case and have it at their base?” White’s words just snapped Yellow back into reality and made her punch the wall and yell in anger.

“So then where do we go?” Jasper asked, needing directions for where to fly. They all thought about it for a few seconds before Steven said home.

“We need to get back to our base of operations and heal White while we regroup and figure out our next move, then we go after White’s father at his base.” He walked over to the window where Yellow was standing and looked at the now almost destroyed police station. “We’re getting that case under ANY costs.”

Authors Note: If @aplgreen likes this or if YOU guys like it enough, maybe I’ll make a part two, given the massive cliffhanger I left you guys on.

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

THE BISEXUAL WYATT MANIFESTO: PART DEUX

The previous post simply got far too long for me to put it all in one place so here is part the second. Put below a cut and my apologies to mobile users!

Part one here.

PART THE SECOND: POURQOUI???

But why, Mads, you shout? Why decide to headcanon a character as bi? Is it just so you can write your dragon porn?

maybe

Ahem.

Listen. I love diversity as much as the next person. Y’all know I do. I mean, I’m a huge fan of Rufus and Jiya, and Denise, queen of my heart. But… I mean we already have a het ship with Jiya and Rufus. And I feel like, y’know, Wyatt being white AND cis AND male AND straight? Feels like a little much, y’know? And there’s no reason for him to be straight, he just IS, and that feels—I mean where’s the whole backstory about it, right? And it feels a little illogical to have… I mean I don’t have any friends who are white and straight and cis male. It just feels unrealistic.

Okay, okay, extreme salt aside and mostly out of my system…

As a character, even in season one when I did like him, Wyatt is boring. He’s the same white straight male soldier/law-and-order character that we’ve seen in literally every single piece of science fiction since the dawn of time. You will find an exact copy of him in Stargate SG-1 (my apologies to Jack O’Neill), Stargate Atlantis (sorry John…), 12 Monkeys, Sarah Connor Chronicles, Terra Nova, Battlestar Galactica, Andromeda, Star Trek Enterprise, Eureka… and that’s not even touching all the mystery/crime shows (CSI, Bones, Criminal Minds, NCIS, Law & Order, Blue Bloods, Take Two) and military shows (SEAL Team, 24, etc). He’s got a dead wife, fantastic, so does the Punisher, so does Sam Winchester (also created by Eric Kripke), so does GARCIA FLYNN, another character on the show, and Flynn’s wife’s death actually ties into the bigger mystery of the show. By God, if you’re gonna fridge a wife at least make her fridging the entire reason the show exists.

Yes, you heard me. Think about it. If Lorena and Iris Flynn don’t die, then Flynn never wants to go on a vengeful rampage, so Lucy never chooses to give him the journal, so he never steals the time machine… killing Lorena and Iris was the biggest mistake Rittenhouse ever made. If you’re gonna play the dead wife card then by golly at least do it like this and make avenging her death the entire reason for the show.

So not only is Wyatt the same cookie cutter character we’ve seen in every TV show ever, he’s also a repeat of Flynn. He’s not just boring, he’s redundant.

Wyatt is also the only character on the show that you could replace with someone else without changing any of the main plot. When I originally decided to do a fic where the team comes back to find one of them was erased from existence on the trip, I knew it had to be Wyatt—erasing Lucy would change everything (which I explore in The Void is Open), erasing Flynn would take them to a world where Rittenhouse has won, erasing Rufus would mean potentially no pilot… you see what I mean. But Wyatt is very neatly replaced with Dave Baumgardner in 1.14 and shows us that Wyatt is, literally, replaceable. Of course he isn’t to Lucy and Rufus at that point because they care about him but for writing reasons? For plot? Literally any soldier would do. Any. Denise could hop in there with them if she so chose.

Now, all this makes it sound like I dislike Wyatt. And I didn’t in season one. I quite liked our puppy. I liked him for two reasons: 1. He had a lot of potential and 2. his character mirrored/paralleled Flynn and I saw a copious amount of opportunities with that.

Both Flynn and Wyatt have lost their spouse. Both Flynn and Wyatt are soldiers. Wyatt had an abusive father and given that Flynn goes on a potential suicide mission for his mother but we never once hear him mention his father (he might as well not have one for his importance to Flynn’s life), I’m taking a guess that Flynn’s father wasn’t all that great of a person either. Both Flynn and Wyatt risk everything to save the people they love and both pay heavy prices for it and become people they’re ashamed of (Flynn all of season one, Wyatt in 1x13). Both Flynn and Wyatt care deeply for Lucy and look to her for guidance.

Wyatt and Flynn mirror each other. One is willing to break rules, and to forge his own path, while the other follows rules and is scared to strike out on his own. Both of them struggle with identity–Wyatt has no idea who he is now that Jess is dead, and Flynn believes he’s turned into a monster and who he once was is lost. Taking advantage of that mirror makes for compelling storytelling, and the writers failed in that in season two after setting it up so beautifully in season one.

The fun thing is, these parallels become even more poignant if you make Wyatt bi and have him be attracted to Flynn (and is a convenient shortcut to bring those parallels back to the fore).

We touched in the previous section how it’s easy to see Wyatt as attracted to Flynn and that’s why he lashes out so much, and indeed how that is the only rational explanation for why Wyatt is so goddamn against Flynn the whole time.

Let’s dive into that, shall we?

Of the original trio, Rufus and Lucy have ample reason to dislike Flynn. Wyatt? Has none. Flynn makes things personal with Lucy right out the gate, and Rufus’s family will be hurt if Flynn isn’t stopped. But Wyatt is just supposed to see Flynn as an enemy soldier. No personal vendetta involved. And before you say rivalry over Lucy–most of Lucy’s pivotal moments with Flynn in season one are without Wyatt present, and the ones she does have in front of Wyatt aren’t automatically read as romantic. Wyatt himself doesn’t even admit he’s got feelings for Lucy until season two, and as far as he knows, Lucy’s still dealing with Noah.

But Wyatt hates Flynn. As we’ve seen in our examples, he reacts to Flynn with a violence that is missing from Rufus and Lucy. And there is no reason for that violent dislike to be there.

Unless Wyatt is attracted to Flynn and is scared of that from internalized homophobia.

If Wyatt finds Flynn attractive, and has internalized homophobia from, y’know, growing up in Texas and having an abusive father and going into the army, then his anger towards Flynn, his stubbornness, his refusal to listen to Flynn (because if Flynn is right about things and Flynn is an okay guy that opens the door to other more ‘dangerous’ thoughts), and his tendency to react to Flynn’s time with Lucy with such anger–it all makes sense. The last one is partly about Wyatt’s jealousy and possessiveness over Lucy but if it’s coupled with attraction to Flynn it makes even more sense.

Having Wyatt behave this way simply doesn’t hold up. It relies far too much on the audience making leaps of logic about Flynn and Lucy’s relationship in season one and assuming that Wyatt and Lucy are meant to be together, without enough evidence for the latter and Wyatt not at all present for the former.

If Wyatt’s bi, it all makes sense and is logical and again adds another dimension to his character and to his interactions with Flynn.

Monkey Brain: heh heh Wyatt and Flynn kissing is hot as fuck

Wyatt’s toxic masculinity becomes even more interesting and important (and make more sense) if Wyatt is bi.

In this meta here (my first for the Timeless fandom!) I talk about Wyatt and his toxic masculinity so to avoid repeating myself howzabout you go read that and come back mmkay?

…

You done? Perfect. So. Now that you understand where Wyatt’s toxic masculinity comes from and how he displays it in canon, I can say this:

Wyatt being bi forces him to confront his toxic behavior in a unique and powerful way that he can no longer ignore.

Part of Wyatt’s toxic behavior is that his behavior is specifically based in the masculine and the patriarchal. And so most of his bad behavior is rooted in how he treats his romantic interest–which has been Lucy and Jess.

Wyatt was, by his own admission, jealous and possessive towards Jess. He didn’t know how to relate to Lucy when she was no longer a romantic option, so he keeps trying to be romantic with her instead, and his possessive behavior comes to the fore as he tries to control who she spends time with and tries to get her to be as emotionally intimate with him as she was before, despite his wife being back and that intimacy no longer possible.

Getting Wyatt to realize his toxic behavior is difficult, since so many people have bought into the lie that men are supposed to be territorial and possessive towards the women they’re in relationships with. However, most heteronormative toxicity falls apart and is recognizable as harmful once we put it in a new light.

When a situation is bad, you often need an outside perspective, or to change one of the circumstances, in order to see how bad it is. Wyatt’s been lectured at by Lucy, Rufus, Flynn, and Jess, and he didn’t see his behavior was unhealthy. But if we change one of the circumstances i.e. the gender of the person he’s attracted to romantically/sexually, then suddenly he has to look at his behavior towards that person in a new light.

Let’s take Flynn for example. Wyatt can’t treat Flynn the way he’s treated Jess or Lucy. If he tries to be possessive of Flynn, not only would he be unable to, but he’ll realize that it’s wrong of him to even think of it. Wyatt wouldn’t find it natural to try and be jealous when Flynn talked to another man, because Flynn is a man, and he wouldn’t automatically assume another man was flirting with Flynn, or that Flynn was flirting with that man.

Because the thing is, our society is pretty heteronormative still. It’s genuinely hard to tell when someone is just being friendly or actually flirting, but we tend to really assume that when a man is interacting with a woman, one or both of them are flirting. With people of the same gender (or of non-cis genders such as trans and nonbinary) it becomes harder to tell, and a lot of the time we assume that it’s just platonic. So for Wyatt to become jealous over Flynn talking to a man–that goes against the norm because it means he’s assuming romantic rather than platonic interaction, the opposite of what we assume when we look at two people of the same gender.

It would force him to take a second look at all of his behavior and choices. It would force him to realize that his behavior was wrong towards Flynn, which means it’s wrong towards Lucy and Jess, etc. It changes an element and so it forces him to see everything in a new light.

On top of all this—Wyatt’s character is pretty stagnant. I believe that’s why they brought Jess back, honestly: because without Jess coming back to complicate things, there’s nowhere for Wyatt to grow. Forcing him to confront his behavior towards Jess was, I think, what the writers ultimately intended for him (the smart ones, anyway). I don’t think they intended for him to end up with Jess at the end, at least not originally. There are things said by Shawn Ryan in interviews that suggest to me that they realized Flynn/Lucy and Wyatt/Jess was a more interesting dynamic than the originally planned Wyatt/Lucy, so they switched gears and planned to have Jess end up with Wyatt. BUT, whether a romantic reunion endgame for them was the plan or not, given the alley scene in 2x10 and other scenes in season two, I fully believe that prior to the nuclear bomb of dog shit that was the Christmas finale, the plan was always to give Jess a redemption arc and that Wyatt would become a better person through convincing her to turn double agent (and through becoming a father).

If you don’t bring Jess back, there’s nowhere for Wyatt’s character to go. Nothing for him to do. Rufus, Lucy, Flynn, Mason, Denise, Jiya—they all have hugely powerful arcs and tough situations. I could go into them but that’ll send me off into another tangent that we don’t have time for. Suffice to say, I can off the top of my head think of two internal struggles and places for each character to grow that would last a couple seasons. And that’s just off the top of my head.

But Wyatt? You can’t. He’s got nowhere to go.

Bringing back Jess is one way that you can force growth and give Wyatt a new arc, but you can’t just give a character one single arc. You have to give them multiple. No real life person is struggling with just one thing, we’re struggling with multiple things. Take Lucy in season two. She’s struggling with Rittenhouse, with her relationship with her mother, with her realizations about herself and what she’s willing to do, with losing Wyatt, with getting back Amy, and with her growing relationship with Flynn.

That’s a lot.

Rufus and Jiya have their relationship AND Jiya’s visions that lead to an arc about destiny versus free will, AND both struggling with the “what are we willing to do to win/who am I becoming” arc.

Give Wyatt JUST Jess, and that’s not enough. It’s also something that, to do right, you have to stretch over I’d say two seasons, seasons three and four. So you need something else to fill in more gaps.

Having Wyatt be bisexual and having him struggle with his sexuality gives him dozens of more opportunities for interesting interactions with other characters, it gives him more ways to address his toxic behavior (as we discussed), it gives him more ways to grow. Because we don’t just grow in a straight line. We grow like trees, with limbs stretching up all over the place and roots digging in deep and crisscrossing everywhere.

Wyatt is a stagnant character. Giving him bisexuality gives him a way to continue to grow that isn’t dependent on another character (Jess) and can be shortened or drawn out depending on how his other arc (Jess, potentially Lucy as well) plays out.

Having Wyatt be bi takes away all of his redundancy, and stops him from being boring, and stops him from being so easily replaceable. If a character isn’t intrinsically tied to the plot (Rufus is there because he’s the only pilot, Lucy is a history expert and tied to Rittenhouse, etc) then you need to think of other reasons for the viewers to really care about them and I’m sorry, but having a dead wife and then being stuck in a heterosexual love triangle doesn’t cut it in the year of our lord 2016 (or ’17, or ’18, or any other year that follows).

And no offense to anyone struggling with PTSD because it needs to be addressed, but the whole ‘soldier with PTSD’ has been done before and, despite making it a main feature in 1.05 The Alamo, it hasn’t been touched on since. Not once. So that’s I guess been thrown out the window by the writers as a plot device (although again that could be brought back by having Wyatt bond with Flynn and Flynn talking with him about shared experiences could be a way that Wyatt further develops feelings for him YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN!?!?).

It also, as I outlined in part one, explains all of his behavior. It takes behavior that made no sense and was toxic alpha male bullshit and puts a whole new and interesting and understandable spin on it. Note I said understandable, not justifiable, this does not in any way excuse any of Wyatt’s behavior. But boy howdy does it make it a lot more nuanced and layered. Having Wyatt be bi suddenly opens so many goddamn doors for his character I can’t even keep track. His PTSD, his relationship with his father, his relationship with Jess, his relationship with Flynn and Lucy, his time in the army, all of those things have new and boundless opportunities in them. It gives opportunities and explains and gives depth to one-note, shallow, cliche male behavior.

Not to mention, um, making him a repressed bisexual gives so many more opportunities for angst and hurt/comfort and all that delicious, delicious character conflict that we all love. Mmmm yes the precious. And, BONUS, it gives us character angst that doesn’t necessarily revolve around a romantic pairing! You can give a character a sexuality crisis without giving them a person to be paired off with! Wyatt can have his crisis over Ian Fleming or Wendell Scott or Rittenhouse Agent No. 5, and figure it all out with only platonic assistance from the team. OR he can be pining over Flynn without Flynn having a clue because Flynn needs his love interests to hit him over the head with a baseball bat to get him to notice and even then it doesn’t always work. OR have him worry about confessing to Jess and/or Lucy and fearing they’ll see him differently given their past sexual/romantic entanglements! ALL. THE. CHARACTER. ANGST. BITCHEEEEEES.

Finally, last but not least, why should Wyatt be bi? Because representation matters, that’s why.

Up until now I’ve highlighted why Wyatt, specifically, as an individual, should be bi. But stepping away from him individually… why the fuck not make your character bi?

It’s the 2010s. The world is finally waking up to the fact that LGBT+ people are here, we exist, and also having us as characters makes your ratings soar. People were ecstatic over The Day Reagan Was Shot, which focused on Denise and her coming out. Timeless’s diversity was a huge point in its favor and was a huge part of why critics loved it. Making, of all people, the most rough and tumble masculine man’s man of the cast be bisexual is important because it reminds us that anyone can have any sexuality, that there are no stereotypes, and that not all LGBT+ people are fashion gurus.

I’m sorry, Wyatt, but it’s true, you are no longer allowed to dress yourself, I’ve submitted you to Queer Eye.

What could be a more powerful storyline for today than a man who was abused as a kid, exhibited toxic masculinity, and was clearly unhappy with himself as a person and looking outside of himself to someone else to fix him, come to terms with himself, come to love himself, come to say “hey I love who I love and I am who I am and fuck anyone who says otherwise”? What could be a more wonderful representation of the diversity and family bonding themes of the show then to have Wyatt, the insecure difficult-with-feelings small town poster for typical masculinity come out, scared of rejection, scared of their reactions, only to have everyone show him love and acceptance and unwavering support? To have Denise hug him and tell him she understands how she feels? To have Lucy tell him she doesn’t see him any differently? For Rufus to joke this is why Wyatt can never choose a cereal and then reaffirm their friendship?

Having Wyatt be bi isn’t just good for him as a character, it’s good for the audience, and it continues the themes of the show and continues to break down stereotypes and honestly, there’s no reason for any character to be straight, either. We just ask “but why” because straight is still the default in our heads and all deviancy from the norm must be explained and rationalized. But there’s no need for that. Wyatt has the most typically heterosexual traits out of all of them, and he’s from a small town in Texas, and he went into the army. How powerful for people to see him come out. How wonderful. But Wyatt can be bi just because you damn well feel like it, because there shouldn’t be a big list of reasons (although I do have them, clearly). He can be bi just because, well, there’s no big tragic backstory for why I’m bi. I just am. And so is he.

In conclusion: Bi!Wyatt is ten times more interesting, nuanced, and unique than Straight!Wyatt, it adds depth and opportunities for growth, it gives layers to existing storylines and character relationships involving Wyatt, it explains his behavior and makes it more understandable, and it gives us needed representation.

My monkey brain adds that the opportunity for humor with this is also boundless and honestly I agree, good job monkey brain, you get a treat.

Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk.

[yurivil]

Tails of St. Vesperia

Unfinished TOV mermaid AU no one asked for that’s been sitting on my computer for 8 years and I totally forgot about it until TOV:DE was released and I fell back into TOV hell. Will 100% never be finished and if someone wants to take the reins to this fic have at it. I like slow burn Fluri so this is mostly self indulgent. 

Tails of St. Vesperia

Rating: T for language

Characters: PS3/DE main cast (Flynn & Yuri main)

Pairings: Undecided 

Genre: Fantasy/Adventure/Drama

Warnings: AU, spoilers for Patty’s past. 

Summary: Flynn, a student at the University of St. Vesperia, was surprised that Headmaster Dionia wanted to see him. He was even more surprised to find out why. “The Headmaster wants to see me so he can show me a fish?” 

Magic!College AU

---------------------------------------

Nets. They entangled his limbs, restricting his flailing attempts to free himself. Part of his panicked mind was vaguely aware of being tugged upwards. No. He couldn’t be seen. He had to get away, back to –Hell, anywhere but here. The man thrashed violently, only succeeding in entangling himself more. A sharp cold was suddenly present on his back. 

‘…Damn!’ 

They had managed to pull him to the surface. The warmth of the water was suddenly completely gone, the chilled air taking its place. In desperation, he used his freed hand to try shoving away from the hull of the boat. His arm was suddenly grabbed and jerked upwards, yanking him into the boat only to land hard on the deck. 

“--ty, get back!” A gruff voice yelled.

Pushing himself off the deck, he managed to glimpse through the net. He caught sight of a small blonde girl with striking blue eyes and a… pirate hat? There was a piercing pain on the back of his head. And everything went black. 

----------------------------------------

Flynn was surprised. Never in his years at the University of St. Vesperia had he received such an urgent request for his presence directly from the Headmaster. Well, he had. But only for last minute check ups on things such as arranging homecoming, speaking at ceremonies, and giving financial reports of clubs. Those were to be expected of any student council president.  He walked briskly across the campus, freshly frosted grass crunching under his feet, eager to complete whatever task he presumed Headmaster Dionia would ask of him. 

Rounding a corner, the aquarium facility came into full view. He couldn’t figure out why the Headmaster would ask to see him here of all places. The blond shivered, pulling his uniform jacket closer as he made his way across the parking lot. The facility’s size never failed to impress him. Next to law and medical degrees, St. Vesperia also specialized heavily in marine biology. This was said to be due to the former headmaster Cypher’s influence. Now retired, the man was still in love with the sea, as he often took his granddaughter with him on his weekly fishing excursions. Flynn smiled at the memory of the little girl. 

“Flyyyyn~!” A young girl’s voice rang out in the late autumn air.

Speak of the devil. She was running towards him from across the street, red beret on her head and binoculars slung over her shoulder. 

“Hello, Patty.” He smiled at her as she approached.

A lengthy conversation followed the rest of their trip across the parking lot. It revolved mostly around Patty making him ‘guess what,’ Flynn guessing, and Patty just returning a ‘guess again.’ Approaching the door, Patty had slipped on a small patch of ice, though luckily for her, Flynn had grabbed the back of her vest, setting her back on her feet. She stared back at the patch of ice as if it were from another dimension.

“…Patty?” He questioned.

“Don’t you know what this means? It’s ice fishing season!” She turned to look at him, grinning, her blue eyes sparkling with excitement. Right, fishing. He should have guessed. Wait a minute… That was it!

“Did you catch a fish last weekend?” 

“Kind of.” She looked to the side, as if unsure how to explain it. 

“Kind of?” He pulled open the glass door, stepping inside.

“You’ll just have to see. That’s why the headmaster called you.” 

Flynn faltered for a moment, before looking at her incredulously. “The Headmaster wants to see me so he can show me a fish?”

“It’s… Well...” Flynn raised an eyebrow. “Not comp—“

“Miss Fluer!”

Flynn’s back straightened automatically at the voice, letting the door close on Patty, who simply stuck her tongue out before running off. Flynn turned and all but saluted to the man. “Headmaster Dionia.”

“Schifo.” The taller man nodded to him. “I appreciate you coming on such short notice.”

“It’s not a problem, sir.” Was his reply, “But, if I may, why the aquarium facility?”

The Headmaster turned and began walking down the hall, Flynn following, before he spoke, “I would presume you know of the previous Headmaster Cypher’s… hobby. Regardless, he and his granddaughter came upon a rather interesting discovery on their last expedition. Cypher requested that it be kept here, and that the public not know of its existence just yet. That said, anything you are about to see or hear is not to leave this building, understood?” He came to stop in front of a door labeled intensive care.

“Y-yes, sir.” He managed. Flynn’s mind was reeling. So he really was here to see a fish? And an extremely rare one, from the sounds of it. Despite feeling flattered to be one of the few people that had the chance this supposedly rare fish, the blond couldn't help but wonder why in the hell that he was here. He was a criminal and justice major, not a marine biology specialist. 

After undoing what Flynn counted as three separate locks, the Headmaster opened the door and they stepped inside. There were no lights on in the room, save for those illuminating a massive tank on the far wall. The water glowed a surreal blue-green, but a flicker of purple instantly caught Flynn's attention. Whatever it been, it darted behind the large coral-head that took up nearly a third of the tank. 

"Was that…?" Flynn trailed off, casting a glance at the other man as he came to stand next to him in front of the tank.

The Headmaster nodded, "It's extremely cautious about anything new. Unfortunately, it also seems to have a very strong dislike for both myself and most of the caretakers here at the aquarium."

As Alexei finished speaking, he raised a knuckle to the glass and rapped on it as though he were knocking on a door. 

The harsh sound made Flynn wince, and he actually felt a little sorry for the fish. "Erm… Headmaster, not to be rude, but don't most fish-"

"I think you'll find this fish to be more intelligent than most." 

There was a loud thunk in front of Flynn that made him start, but by the time he turned to look, he only saw a lone chunk of coral sinking to the flat, sandy bottom of the tank.

"What in the world…?" Flynn stared. 

The taller man chuckled, "Regardless, I'd like you to spend some time here."

"Here, sir?" 

"Simply put, in this room. You may use it as your own private study hall, if you like."

While the idea of a study hall in which he could work uninterrupted was very appealing to Flynn… 

"What exactly will I be doing while I'm here?""I suppose you could say that you'll be socializing. The reason is that this fish is extremely dangerous for the aquarium staff to even feed. Leblanc was almost drowned yesterday. I hope that, through showing it humans aren't a threat, it will allow us closer, so we can study it in further detail. You may read, study, whatever you wish."

A study hall all to himself it was, then.

"I understand. I'll come everyday after classes."

"Good. Any other questions?"

"...You had said Mr. Leblanc was almost drowned?"

"I was told that the fish stole something from him and that he dove in to get it back. Ridiculous as it sounds, Leblanc was never really… Suited to be swim-team captain."

"Aha…"

 ----------------------------------------

It had been about two weeks since Flynn started going to his private study hall at the aquarium. He enjoyed finishing his school and student council work nearly two hours earlier. It gave him time to… Actually have spare time. As per instructions, Flynn wasn't allowed to turn on any lights save a small desk lamp for when he was working. A few times, feeling as though he were being watched, Flynn would jerk his head around, only to catch the literal tail-end of the creature as it dove behind the coral. Rather than stress over not seeing the fish, Flynn preferred to spend an extra hour either reading a book or watching a movie. The blonde had discovered a small TV on the desk near the tank, and also an old DVD player. So, Flynn would watch all of his favorite classics he was lucky enough to have on disk.

 Today was a marathon of John Wayne movies that Flynn never got tired of. Half-way through True Grit, even Flynn couldn't help but smile and roll his eyes at the corny movie lines. In doing so, he caught a shadow out of the corner of his eye. It was in the tank. And it was definitely not a fish. Flynn blinked. 

There was a person. Watching John Wayne. From in the tank.

Why would someone- When did they- How had Flynn not noticed? 

Cobalt eyes flickered to the side, as if to make sure Flynn wasn’t looking. Which he was, much to the tank-dweller’s surprise. Their eyes went wide and their mouth fell open, allowing bubbles of air to escape, before they jerked back, speeding away in a blur of… purple? 

Flynn stared to where it -they- had disappeared behind the coral head. They would have to come up for air at some point. The sound of gunshots rang out from the TV. The blond didn’t move an inch, hardly daring to breathe. He kept his eyes on the coral head, not letting his attention falter for even a moment. He was vaguely aware of the clock in the room ticking. 

Minutes passed. Flynn had at some point started counting the seconds of the ticking clock, and had already counted to sixty some twenty times. He was just about to resume his movie marathon when, tentatively, half a body appeared from behind the coral, partially obscured by a sea fan. The face and upper body were most definitely human, but... The lower half was decidedly not. There were scales and a tail and... A mermaid. 

Those cobalt eyes bore into him, and Flynn could do nothing but gape in return. There was a mermaid -merMAN- directly in front of him and his mind was reeling. What kind of creature was this? It seemed intelligent enough to enjoy movies. It was obviously sentient. 

----------

Sorry not sorry ran out of juice for this AU. My further idea is that Yuri only writes in Russian so when given an underwater dry erase board, Flynn has to take pictures and ask (language major) Judith to translate (or alternatively google translate the hell out of it). The entire Vesperia gang does their best to get Yuri back to the ocean but meanwhile Yuri is internally debating if he’d rather stay with Flynn or return home. 

[bobajeongguk-blog]

el mariachi | bts mafia!au | 1

word count: 3k

warnings: will be smut eventually, may become graphic in future scenes

pairing: jungkook x reader

a/n: this is my first upload on my new blog so i’m sensitive aubrey

code name JOY, a hitman that does the job dirty, is recruited by a notorious mob, who have both respect for her, and a member that she shot two days ago

next

El Mariachi’s.

It lived and breathed as an entrance and exit to a night life of sin. The drinks bad and the people worse, the club radiated a thick vibe of released tension. But what the transgressors of society that inhabited this den didn’t realise is that they weren’t the monsters of the underworld. The bossmen were.

“You know, I happen to be an expert in fucking up faces,” you fired out to the men cuffing your arms with their veiny hands, “it’s sort of my job.”

The men with masks paid no attention, leaving your arms locked up in their own.

The back entrance to El Mariachi’s resembled that of an old Spanish villa’s, which made you chuckle humourlessly at how out of place it looked in a back street of Seoul. Each man on your side stoped dead at the front of it.

“Walk.”

With one of your free arms, you pushed on the heavy door, opening up into a room with wine red walls and mahogany furniture. A large desk, the size of a single bed sat in the middle under dim lit lamps. The edges of the room were impossible to find in the shadows.

“Nice to see you live up to the cliché here,” you smirked at the figure in the dark of the desk.

A seperate figure appeared from the corner of the room, “We keep tradition here. We pride ourselves in it. Let’s quit the small talk though.”

Again, another figured moved out of the shadows, and cocked his gun.  

You weren’t one for being frightened, let alone showing your fear, but the click of the barrel made you gulp. Abruptly, the two men who were on your arms before came back into view and cocked their revolvers in every synchronisation.  

“Some tradition. You’re Koreans owning a Latin themed club, correct me if I’m wrong,” as you retorted in your hard-to-fault cockiness, you glanced around the room undetectably, 5 men counted up. But where were the other two?

“Joy, you made an attempt at killing one of our men, but failed, and you’re happy about this?” The man lent onto his clasped hands on the desk, “Because I don’t know a great deal of hitmen who let the job go- unfinished.”

“What can I say, I’m clearly not very good at my job, nor am I a threat to El Mariachi’s members. So how about we forget my blunder and start over, with me walking out that door-“ you turned towards the door you once entered through but we’re stopped by the two masked men again.

“You’re not serious right? You dishonoured us, and I’m sure we can make some form of arrangement that doesn’t end with your tongue leaving your skull, si?”

You rolled your eyes at his attempt at fear provoking.

“You’re missing a couple men right? Is one on bed rest after what I did to him?”

It was his turn to gulp now, “He’s doing fine. I’m a good enough man to know how to treat the fellas who work for me.”

“Listen,” you shuffled effortlessly towards the desk and sat down in the opposing chair, “Im not here to make enemies with hard working guys such as yourselves. In fact I sort of respect you and you’re skills.”

“Y/n.” You shuddered at the use of your real name, not Joy as you had ironically named yourself, “Who said I want us to be enemies?”

He lent further now, and you finally glanced at his face and took a chance to relish in just how, to put it frankly, fuckable he was. His eyes were heavy lidded and sleepy, yet the pupils were more alive then your heartbeat at this point, and his lips looked far too bowed to be on a man that allowed such profanities to slip by them. His skin looked contradictorily soft and supple, save for the large scar that reached from the arch of his brow to his cheek bone. His lips parted dryly, “So, I was thinking of hiring you.”

“Hiring? Hiring me? Me?” Your eyebrows practically stitched together in confusion.

“We know how you work. We admire your work- hmm- ethic.” You smiled internally at your impressive and non harmful way of making money. What can you say, you loved fucking people around, but not enough to kill.  

“So you’re asking me to become your own personal hitman, except not really since I’m not bona fide?”  

To say you were shocked would be an understatement. You did dirty worse than most hitmen: pay half upfront, mess around with the target enough to freak them out, then never finish the job. You weren’t a killer, you didn’t have it in you, but neither were you a good person. Trouble never really came your way because, how does a criminal get another criminal into trouble?  

Snitching was the worst crime of all in the underworld. But that didn’t stop you from making a lot enemies down below.

“Sort of,” He fishes around his desk draw to look for something, “You have good gun talent, stamina, aim, steady hand. And us hiring you would create a lot of business deals since you’re so feared around here.”

You thought about becoming a part of a team, your entire life had been independent. Solo. Isolated.  

“I will consider joining on one condition.”

The man’s eyes subtly lit up, “Yes, name it,” he kept his voice steady.

“You must introduce me to all members first.”

All men inside the back room led you down a dimly lit corridor, where you could hear the amplified bass on the other side of the wall.  

“Through here. We’ll order a private booth and some drinks in there.”

Each monster, barring the one who had introduced them, still had masks on and hoods up, guns re-pocketed in their holsters as they walked through into the nightclub, El Mariachi’s.

It looked like a generic dance club, low ceilings and elevated dance floors, except at the far end was a stage, and on it was a live band playing and female dancers along the edge. It was distinctly unusual for a dance club, and everyone still moved along. You sort of wished your visit here hadn’t been a business one, just so you’d get an opportunity to go have some fun and wreak havoc.

“Later,” He whispered into your ear as he clasped your forearm and took you along with all the others to a separate curtained booth. The inside was circular and had a small table in the middle, as well as an ashtray and cigarette dispenser. Each wall covered in a mirror from top to the leather booth. You could see yourself in eight different angles. You looked flushed, but hard-faced as always. You could see why a girl as averagely built as yourself mustered up anxiety in even the mightiest of men; you had a nose ring through your right nostril, and a nick taken out of a brow that kept a scar in its place. Your eyes were darkly rimmed with kohl-Black and your lips there usual full and chapped selves.

“Please sit, y/n.”

You scooted along to the back and watched as it filled up enough for the two closest to touch you shoulder to shoulder.

“They can come off now.”

You watched as the rooms collective each reached to detach the elastic from around their ears and lower the masks and hoods.  

“I’m Yoongi by the way,” The man already known to you tells you, “I’m second in command here.”

“You mean you aren’t the boss?” The question resulted in a chuckle from the rest of the members. You were too afraid to look them all in the eye just yet, so made eye contact only with Yoongi.  

“Do you really think a boss is gonna let himself be left so vulnerable?” You looked over to where the voice came from and met eyes with a shit eating grin and crescent shaped eyes, “I go by J-Hope here, I’m a big fan of your gun work.”  

He leans in and places a kiss on your ring decorated knuckle. Your eyes roll upwards, but you smile non the less. His hair is straight and shiney, yet still messy, as if his hands spend a lot of time running through it (or someone else’s do).  

“And I’m Jin, the gang’s prettiest,” one eye is blackened with bruises, and his full lip is busted open and more swollen then they already are with natural plumpness, “And don’t mind J-Hope, he’s a little trigger happy.”

“I gathered that,” You reach to shake his extended hand and notice how muscled his forearm is. A throat clearing broke your contact with Jin as you turned to the next person. Sat to your right was a small but well built member, with a soft smile and soft eyes, completely out of place for his surroundings.  

“I’m Jimin. I drive people places and, well, get shit done.”

You’d done this long enough to know what that meant. A silent nod showed him you understood. He was well stacked enough for you to know that he had definitely got his hands dirty once or twice.  

“Sorry if we hurt you earlier, no hard feelings about the dragging around yeah?”

Rolling your eyes, finally, you turned to your left and were face to face with a man who looked to handsome to have ever needed to make money in such a wrong way. His eyes were intense and his lip had a ring going round into his mouth, his tongue absentmindedly fiddling with it.

“Taehyung. I suppose I’m their trademark robber. I’m pretty handy with a knife too.” Your mind immediately imagined him with a knife clutched in between his teeth, the sight easy to believe.

“Nice to meet you.” You shook his hand like a professional and turned away from one another. But there was one member you hadn’t met. The member you shot yesterday in the parking complex.

“What about um..” you trailed off, not knowing how to bring up the member injured at your hands.

“Jungkook. He’ll be okay. You’ll sort of be taking his place for a week, then consider your debt repaid. After that we’ll pay you for each deed done. Satisfying?”  

“How much per?”

“Two.”

“Hundred?”

“Grand.”

Your mouth made an ‘o’ shake. To the average eye, it seems like a skint amazing for such a high risk line of business, but considering how often deals come up that racks up a few thousand a week. Your mind was already made.

“So,” You sipped your drink innocently, “when do I begin?”

A half hour drive in a stretch Bentley later, you arrive at what is known as HQ. Jimin truthfully told you it’s just where they eat, sleep and train. Never anything illegal happens there. It’s sort of an unspoken rule.

All 5 pairs of eyes were on you in the drive over, watching you, calculating you, figuring you out. Jhope, Jin and Jimin were well mannered and welcoming to you, but Taehyung’s gaze on you was so burning you couldn’t help but stare back. His eyes reflected threat and warning. You squirmed in your seat uncomfortable nude his eye.

The building you arrived in front of was a warehouse style and shape, but a high up window had a dim light glowing from it.  

“So this is home,” Yoongi half heartedly gestured to the structure, “The contract for your membership is in Namjoon’s office, but I doubt you’ll want to go through all of that now. For now, I’ll show you to your room.”

You were taken aback, “I’ll be living here?”

“Yes. We need to be able to have you at hand for jobs whenever. This line of work doesn’t have shifts.”  

You shrugged and nodded it off, but in your mind, you couldn’t be more thrilled.  

Your apartment was a door down from a meth addict, a door up from a teen mother and her badly cared for baby, and directly above was a couple arguing every night.

“If you want,” J-Hope lent across to speak into your ear, “We can swing by your place tomorrow on the way to pick up supplies and grab your belongings.”

You thought about it for a while, “Believe me. There’s nothing there I want to see ever again.”

The line of you led up and into the warehouse, Yoongi flicking the switch. Lights flickered on in strips one by one across the high ceiling. Across the vast space were sectioned off areas of training equipment. A gun guard and target sheets took up a part of the wall, along with a boxing ring and punching bags, weights and gym equipment. At the far back wall there was an open plan kitchen. It was your heaven.

Jin found your taken aback expression amusing, “You like, newbie?”

“Like? This is my fuckin’ dream, dude!”

“Yeah well speaking of dreams, you gotta get rest. Namjoon hates cranky, tired people. Yoongi being his only exception,” Yoongi shrugged over in yours and Jin’s direction, “So I suggest you go to bed. I’ll take you to the empty room.”

You turned to head up the stairs and saw the remaining men already sat at their coffee table, playing a game of poker with scotch glasses.

“Night y/n!” J-Hope yelled towards your retraining body. You simply waved back at the men’s attention.

Jin took you up the dim stairs and you heard muffled voices from behind a closed door, “Don’t mind Jungkook. He has things he’s gotta sort out at the moment.”

You nodded back, Jin stopping at your door.

“Let me know if you want anything. Oh and breakfast is at 7am sharp every day. Training at 8. Don’t be late, Namjoon isn’t afraid of any form of punishment needed.”  

And with that, Jin left.

You couldn’t sleep. Your mind was racing with thoughts of the boy in the next room to you, and how you inflicted a pretty hefty bullet wound onto his thigh, just missing his kneecap. ‘I could see this not going down too well’ you twisted and turned in you sleep as you imagined his reaction when he finds out you nearly crippled him for life.

Your night’s train of thought was disturbed by your need to pee a few hours later. Opening the door softly, you crept down the corridor to the open door that held the loo.  

When you’d finished, you twisted the knob for the door and opened it and instantly walked straight into another body, your scantily clad skin making direct contact with someone else’s naked torso. Your body stumbles onto him as his falls back out of the doorway into the corridor. Your arm hit the handle on your way down, leaving a nasty cut in its place.

“Fucking hell- that’s twice you’ve injured me,” You freeze instantly from your wincing and look down at the boy underneath yours. His face is covered by a messy flop of fringe, his smile slightly crooked and slightly visible, his eyes his eyes holding as much intensity as Taehyung’s that you had looked into earlier.

“I am so sorry about the-“

“Don’t worry about it. You don’t know me. You were only doing your job, it’s pointless having hard feelings in this job.”

You blushed, a thing you hadn’t done in years, at how foolish and careless you could have been. It wasn’t like you to let your guard down and in a few short hours you had allowed yourself to team up and trust strangers.  

His face contorted into a frown as he looked down at the gash you hadn’t noticed yet, “You’re bleeding.”

“It’ll be fine, I’ve had worse,” you glanced at it nonchalantly.

“Let me help.”

You rolled off of him and jumped back up, allowing him to stretch his body up. You watched his muscles contract with each minor movement, admiring how his physique clearly showed his hard work and dedication. He was broad, overwhelmingly broad, and his back muscles were pronounced. As he bent his legs to get up, his thighs tensed and you could see the thews shift.  

His brawny arms reached up to a shelf with a box reading “first aid” on it.  

“You don’t need to do that,” you insisted, suddenly feeling sheepish.

“Namjoon will be pissed if he finds out a new recruit is already injured, much less at the hands of me,” he outstretched his hand to your arm. With delicate surprise, his calloused fingers padded lightly on your own scarred skin.

“I still have yet to meet this Namjoon. What’s he like?”  

“Not as scary as he likes to think. However you can’t outweigh his intelligence. People treat people like him as ‘nerds’, but it’s an underestimated skill,” He takes his time wiping the stray blood, “I’m Jungkook by the way. I’m a bit of a baby in comparison to everyone else.”

“My name’s Jo- Y/n, my name is Y/n.”

“You have impeccable aim and precision, but you didn’t hit me anywhere critical. Why?”

“I don’t kill. Simple.”

“You won’t be saying that for long around here.”

You gulped with dread for what felt like the hundredth time that night. He pulled the lid off a bottle with his teeth, “This is gonna sting a little.”

You chuckled at his concern, “I think I can handle it.”

The liquid stung but nowhere near as bad as any pain you’d already felt.  

“So who did you work for before us?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Don’t worry we won’t-“

“It’s a hitman rule. You never tell people who hired you, and they’ll pay half up front.”

“Yes but don’t forget you broke the hitmen rules by never actually killing,” He smirked at you. His smile was contagious enough to pass onto your lips.

“I didn’t work for anyone. I worked for myself. Namjoon isn’t buying me out of anyone, he’s hiring me.”

Jungkook’s face turned into one of surprise, he stopped wrapping bandage around your arm to look at you. His eyes showed signs of confusion and unrecognisable emotion.

“You’re telling me that you, a girl that reaches my nose in height, is a solo gunner?”

You grinned back at him and walked towards the door, “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Sleep came a lot better the second time round.

next

[kimmyiewrites]

Case Closed ~ Chpt 1

Previous Work: Moving On Story Summary: Mike and Bex have been at their new assignments for a few months now. Mike is looking at things far out of his normal range of cases while Bex is facing a demon that has haunted her past for ten years now. Will both of them be able to close their cases? Graceland x Braindead x Criminal Minds crossover

AN: Here it is! The sequel to Moving On. If you haven't read that story yet then I highly suggest that you do or you'll miss out on the start of Mike and Bex's connection. This concept came about two years ago now while watching Aaron's show Braindead. During a live tweet of an episode, he replied to a fan's tweet saying how they thought that Mike Warren was actually undercover as Garreth Ritter since he knew so much about the other agent in the show. That got me thinking and so here we go! This also goes into the Criminal Minds universe (aka this is a big ol' crossover fic so get ready). So proceed with caution since this book will be dealing with a serial killer. So without further ado, I really hope you like this book as much as you liked Moving On and I can't wait to hear what you all think!

"Now remember, you're the Tin Man. You were out chopping wood when it began to rain. You couldn't get inside quick enough so you were stuck in the same position for years until Dorothy and the scarecrow come find you. You then join them on their journey to meet the Wizard of Oz because you want a heart." The man, who couldn't be any older than 40, instructed the man who was tied to a tree and dressed in gray matching sweats.

The man who was giving instructions stopped his pacing right in front of his latest victim. He leaned against the ax he had been swinging while he was pacing. "Do you think you can remember that when you get up there? Dorothy and the Scarecrow will be there waiting for you with Ben and Jamie. I'll be sending the next characters up soon so you can't start telling them the story quite yet since I'm sending characters a little out of order but tell them that it'll be soon, before the year ends. There's just so many characters, you see, that I have to hurry things along a bit."

The man in the gray sweats began to shake his head. On top of being tied to a tree, he also had a gag in his mouth. "But you're perfect. You're the best Tin Man I could find. You're going to have to remember." The man with the ax said, growing frustrated.

"I'll tell you one more time and then you're just going to have to remember. It's getting late and I have to leave so so they don't find me before I'm finished telling my story. Otherwise, Ben and Jamie won't understand and they'll never go to sleep." The man began pacing again, going over the story of the Tin Man once more.

"Do you get it now?" He asked but once again the man in sweats shook his head. "Well, you're just going to have to." The man said with gritted teeth as he brought the ax above his head. With one swift motion, he swung the ax down, lodging it into the other man's head.

The man in sweats slouched, blood dripping down his face from the wound. The killer bent down and removed the gag. Using the cloth that was in the other man's mouth, he tried clearing the blood away so that whenever his children, Ben and Jamie, met him, they wouldn't be scared. "Enjoy kiddos." He said, standing up and walking away from the crime scene once he was satisfied.

"Maybe you should just go with cereal instead?" Jennifer said as she pried open the waffle iron in front of Bex.

At the sound of Jennifer's voice and the smell of burnt waffle, Bex returned back to reality She shook her head with a laugh. "Yeah, maybe you're right. Thanks JJ."

The other agent gave Bex's shoulder a squeeze and a sympathetic smile. "We're gonna get him Bex." Bex just nodded her head, giving JJ a smile of her own before moving in front of the cereal containers.

The news they received walking into the Kansas City police station didn't do anything to lift Bex's spirits. JJ and Tara were speaking to the girlfriend of the man most recently killed. Emily was at the morgue while Rossi and Luke were at the crime scene. "I, uh, brought some tea, hoping it'll help a little bit." Spencer said as he walked into the conference room the BAU was using as their work space.

He placed the cup in front of Bex, who looked up as he sat down next to her. She gave him a grateful smile before taking a sip of the hot beverage. "I should be in there talking to her Spencer but the minute she walked in all I could see was my mom's face after she was told the details and I just couldn't." She set the cup back down on the table before leaning back in her chair, cover her face in her hands. "I don't even know why I'm still brought onto these cases. I'm too emotionally attached."

"You're brought on because you're our best asset on this case. You know him best so where do we start next?" He knew she did best when she was working with facts and what they knew. It helped her focus and feel like she was in control. They had gotten past her 'this is why I work in organized crime' phase of her return and now it was time to finally lock the guy behind 10 years worth of murders so that she could move past it all. He wished Morgan was still on the team so that she would at least laugh a little bit more.

Bex nodded as she started to go through all that they knew. "Well we know that he's not worried too much about physical appearance unless it's stated in the book. Dorothy was a brunette, therefore the person who he chose also needed to be a brunette. The person he chose for the Scarecrow was a farmer and the person he chose for the Tin Man worked at the paper mill. So is the person he's looking for next have to resemble a lion or are they deemed a coward?" She then groaned. "I just wish we knew more about this guy. The profile we came up with can only get us so far I feel like."

Spencer rubs soothing circles along her back. "We have to trust in the profile Bex. Garcia is trying to see if anyone on our list has connections with any of the victims."

"She could even start seeing if anything has come up in the news that our unsub will deem cowardly." Bex suggested, feeling a little better that they were at least trying to get ahead of the unsub.

She went to the board and wrote down their prediction. They had to get this one right or it would be another two years before their shot at tracking him down again. They were still unsure as to why but their unsub followed children's stories, killing and staging his victims as characters from the story. He usually chose four of the main characters, killing them within a six month period before disappearing for two years.

They were all making calls to those they thought, based off of Garcia's list from Bex's hunch earlier, could be potential targets. They were informing of increased police patrols in their areas of home and work as well as tips on being vigilant. Right before Bex was about to call the next person on the list, her phone rang. Mike's name flashed across the screen, making her smile. She excused herself so she could answer the call in private. "Hey, you." She said, hoping she sounded a little more enthusiastic than what she thought she sounded like.

She in fact did not. She sounded tired and that worried Mike. "Hey, what happened?"

She let out a sigh, knowing there was no getting around it. "The unsub killed again. We've got like two months to figure out who this guy is before he disappears again."

Mike looked down at his feet wishing he could give her a hug. "I'm sorry. You guys will get him. I know it. I can offer a distraction if you'd like?" He offered not wanting to just jump right into the problems of his case when it was clear she was upset about her own.

"Yes, please." Bex answered, not wanting to think about how she felt like she was failing her younger sister, yet again.

"Well, something weird is definitely going on. I just got out of a meeting with another agent who was just put on the case. Apparently people's heads are exploding." He whispered the last bit, to make sure no one heard him.

"Did you just say that people's heads are exploding?" She asked, trying so hard not to laugh.

"Yes, I did and that's not the crazy part. I mean, I have no place to judge but Red has completely changed his life around, drinking nothing but those green smoothies and is following this juice cleanse book to the t, where just the other day he was passed out drunk in his office." Mike continued to explain all that he was dealing with.

Bex grew puzzled at that. Even after detoxing Mike had done a few things to make sure that he wasn't ever tempted again but that was after a three day period. It certainly was not an overnight decision to stick to a juice cleanse like it sounded like Red had done. "That is odd. Do you think it's linked?" She asked, trying to help him come up with some wa for him to investigate.

"I'm really not sure. Anthony, the other agent will be taking lead with the explosions since he's with counter terrorism and that's what they're thinking this is. Meanwhile I'm stuck looking into this meteor from Russia that the office thinks could be alien and needs to get to Area 51."

At that Bex laughed. "They took you from bringing in drug lords and arms dealers to look into aliens? You should feel so insulted. See if you can come out to Kansas City. I trust the BAU with this case, I really do but I think a new perspective on it could be really useful."

Mike smiled at that. "I miss you too Bex, but they think that giving me this case will help ease me back into under cover work so I'm stuck here sadly."

Bex sighed, leaning her head against the wall. "Well that sucks. Maybe aliens took over Red."

That made Mike laugh. "Who knows. He's sounding more and more like every other politician on capitol hill so maybe the drink thing is all a rouse until election time." He then sighed when he realized what time it was. "Hey, I gotta go so Red can be on this talk show. I'll call you later. I'll need help getting ready for this tax prom thing tonight."

She made a small noise of disgust. "That sounds awful but I'm sure you look good in a tux. I'll talk to you later Mike." She smiled, hanging up the phone once he said his goodbye. Aliens and exploding heads; at least hearing about Mike's case put her problems in perspective. It gave her new resolve to solve her case. It was time to get back into the game and finally lock up the man who not only killed her younger sister but so many others.

[stunudo]

So Moved

A Criminal Minds Fan-fiction

Featuring: Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Setting: Season 5

Requested: Anon

“(summarized)Okay so could you do one that’s Spencer x female reader where the reader has a remote control bullet vibrator thing and while her and Spencer are out he turns it on using his phone and she ends up getting pretty turned on and the fuck in the back of her car. (Or something along those lines??) please thank you!”

A/N: So I decided to incorporate a request into this on going series, I hope it works for the readers and the requester. Thanks!! I had part of this before, but I think the two ideas compliment each other. So much build up, it feels super long. Happy Smuturday! xoxo Stu

Catch up: Your Move, Move Me, Moving Along

Your name: submit What is this?

Pulling up to the curb in your Jeep, you saw the valets milling around the entrance, which was lined with shrubbery accented by fairy lights. The slight weight between your thighs rekindling the nerves over the evening’s persona challenge, that Spencer had orchestrated. The twenty minutes in the car had been an in depth discussion about what each of you were allowed to do in each of your parts. Spencer’s increased mobility had inspired a new role for him to perform, one that would be unique as it was used in public and among people who knew his true personality.

You clenched around the small device Spencer had slid inside you, forcing a polite smile to the acne covered face of the valet as you handed him your keys. You tipped him from your small clutch, ensuring a safe night for your treasured vehicle. Spencer stood on the sidewalk like a dream, a glint in his eye that meant he couldn’t wait to channel the character. His confidence was intoxicating.

Walking into the lavish banquet hall, you felt all the deviousness cloak your face into a mask of scarlet. You were Hester Prinn; the world would know all your indiscretions and Spencer was going to lose his job if you didn’t get a hold of yourself. How were you going to make it through dinner, let alone conversations like this? Spencer was slightly leaning on you as you had your arm linked along his cane hand.

“Breathe, Pidge,” Spencer muttered.

“Easy for you to say, you’re not the one, who, is, plugged in!” You scolded, scanning the room for the others from the BAU.

“I haven’t even turned it on yet, relax,” Spencer kissed your temple, “A lady exudes grace under pressure.”

“Well, this lady is a work in progress.” You snipped up at him.

“One who I have all the confidence in the world.” Spencer grinned as Penelope’s squeal drew your attention towards the bar.

It was during a quick trip to the ladies for Y/N, that Spencer decided to slide into his evening’s persona. Dining with his teammates, in character, would have made for an awkward attempt at best and at worst a round of tease the geek. Besides, what this character craved was attention from strangers, preferably single women. Y/N had used the most gracious of manners during dinner, adding to his determination to succeed in his part.

He found a small circle of women near a small bar at the far end of the hall; Spencer slowly ambled towards them. Smiling slightly as he ordered a whiskey, eavesdropping on the women’s conversation.

“What we need is easier access to mental healthcare for these people.” A curvaceous woman in a gray wrap dress said decidedly.

“Of course, but some of these people are just angry, Donna. That doesn’t stop any pissed off redneck from buying a semiautomatic weapon on a whim,” argued a tall brunette woman across from her.

Spencer chuckled under his breath, a familiar discourse without any clear solution.

“Do you think this is funny?” A petite woman accused Spencer, forcing the four woman to stare daggers his way.

“Not at all,” Spencer explained, “Gun violence in this country rose nearly ten percent last year, though homicides did decrease.”

“Then why were you laughing?” The offended woman remained wary.

“Because of her redneck remark,” Spencer smirked, “It isn’t that simple and stereotyping just pits more people against one another.”

“What makes you an expert?” The tall woman asked.

“I’m not an expert, but I am a member of law enforcement.” Spencer downplayed, drawing the group to him, inch by inch.

“What do you do?” The curvy one, Donna, brushed his arm, clearly interested.

“I work with the Behavioral Analysis Unit at the FBI,” Spencer explained, shifting on his cane.

“Oh god, did you get shot?! Is that why you are using a cane?” The petite woman gasped, the embarrassment clear on her face. Spencer nodded, shrugging it off like Morgan would.

Just then he saw Y/N approach, searching for him in the unfamiliar space. His cool stare caught her bright eyes and he shook his head slightly. She stopped in her tracks, taking in his audience. It took her a few beats, but she nodded calmly and returned to the table with their friends. The growing smirk on his face added to the spell he was casting on the group of women before him.

Walking away from a swarm of women surrounding your usually awkward boyfriend, was more difficult than it should have been. The urge to protect what was yours deeply seeded, causing you to lose focus on the game. When you returned to the boisterous BAU table, you sat down casually, failing at subtlety.

“Where’s Reid, Y/N?” Emily asked, her black gown was off the shoulder, showing her swan like features.

“He’s chatting up some ladies by the windows.” You explained, as unaffected as possible.

“He what?” Derek spun on the spot, “Do I need to go save him? Before he gets eaten alive?”

Penelope was already fussing over you, you smiled reassuringly over at her as you answered Derek, “Don’t bother, he’s having more fun than he should.”

Rossi strolled over with gusto, drawing the group’s attention away from your solo return. As you peered over your shoulder at the gaggle of women, which had actually increased to five, dolled up and fawning over your boyfriend, Spencer sent you a message.

‘ready?’

He had leaned back, listening to the group, but clearly keeping you on his radar. The anticipation had already seeped around the silicon device clipped within you. When you nodded, while laughing at something the group had found funny, the vibrations sizzled through you.

The heat from the attention added to his efforts, the usual clamminess turned into resolve as he brought out his magic tricks. Spencer had turned the somber social debate into a lively chat, using his cane as a sly way to bump into the women, without actually touching anyone. Donna was practically eating out of the palm of his hand when he pulled a paper boat out of her friend’s hair. Spencer needed to sit to best watch Y/N, so he feigned leg pain and made his way over to a small cluster of lounge chairs.

The intimate setting had thinned the crowd, leaving only the three more talkative ladies to follow the charming doctor. He tucked a strand of hair behind his ear which had fallen from his top knot. He stretched back, placing his phone on his lap as he absentmindedly spun his cane in his opposite hand.

“So, Dr. Reid?” Donna began again, “Do you work with David Rossi, the author?”

“Of course, the whole team came to support one of our founding members. To be honest, I am surprised he came back.” Spencer teased.

“What do you mean?” Ashley asked, the tall brunette.

“Nothing, never mind.” Spencer toyed with them, while his fingers delicately turned the toy’s setting to rolling pulses in Y/N’s slit. The women huffed, the petite one, Karen, practically pouted. He overplayed it, “I don’t want to say anything against an institution, like Rossi, but,” He whispered, “The team was doing fine without him. I am very capable, when I’m not injured, of course.”

“I’m sure you’re very capable, either way.” Donna gushed as Ashley giggled nervously at her friend.

“Aw, thanks, Donna.” Spencer locked eyes on her chest, making sure that Y/N caught his blatant overstepping, before wiggling his eyebrows at the flirtatious stranger.

The buzzing from the toy had to be audible, the sensations were growing that intense. You rocked forward to cross your legs as you changed positions, you rested your face upon your hands, trying to focus on the story JJ was telling. She wore a draped silver gown that showed off her toned arms. Spencer had been goading you with his eyes from across the vast hall, his arrogance was growing, as was your justifiable jealousy. You trusted him, you trusted him, you said it over and over to yourself. But if that bimbo in the gray touched him one more time, lady or not, you were ready to throw down.

Then the toy clicked off, a minute of reprieve. You exhaled raggedly, but the rest was short lived. The peals of tingling soared through you, once more, you squirmed and whimpered slightly. Derek leaned to whisper in your ear, “I think your phone is buzzing, Y/N.”

You gave the charismatic man a grateful smile and excused yourself to take the call. There was no call, the sound Derek had heard was the contraption that Spencer was effectively torturing you with. You clenched your walls around the toy and stood determinedly, walking to the hallway leading towards the exit. Once you were alone you fell on to a decorative double-sided chaise, your legs giving out from the onslaught of pleasure Spencer was conducting from his mobile app.

Your nipples itched in their confines, your breathing hitched as your muscles spasmed against the overstimulating rhythms. You inhaled deeply, trying to focus on other parts of your body than your throbbing bundle of nerves. You attempted to slow your heart rate when a real phone call came through. You dropped your clutch twice before wrenching the phone from the narrow pocket.

“Yes?” You gasped.

“I’m sorry I must have the wrong number,” Spencer’s voice taunted.

“Oh, I’m sorry, may I help you?” You tried to get back in character.

“I can’t see you, Y/N, that was one of the rules.” He wasn’t angry, but his voice was husky, sending chills down your back.

“Spencer, don’t be mad.” You begged, a slight moan escaping your throat as he increased the speed of the toy. “I had to step away to take a phone call, Derek could here it buzzing.”

“So let him. I want to watch you hold yourself together, Y/N.” Spencer cooed.

“I thought you were busy, those tits can’t watch themselves.” You spat, the jealousy and vexation building as you were kept at Spencer’s mercy.

“Never mind what I watch, Y/N. As long as you are coming home with me, there is nothing to worry about.”

“Spence, if we don’t go home right now, there is going to be a whole lot to worry about.”

“Y/N? Where are you?”

“In the side entryway, uh, Spen-en-encer?” You moaned.

“Stop it, I’m on my way.”

In an instant the toy stilled within your walls, but your core’s pulsing against its slick surface continued. You tried breathing through it, shifting your legs, but your thighs quaked despite your efforts. Finally Spencer ambled in, his eyes suspicious.

“Give me a minute,” You begged, holding your hand up to keep him back. Your breathing had regulated but the tension inside you had snowballed into a ball of unfulfillment, lodged in your lower stomach. “Should we say anything to the team before we leave?”

“I’ll text them on the way home.” Spencer said offhandedly, he held out his hand to you. You gently placed your hand in his, allowing him to guide you to standing. He pulled you into him, like a dancer, the heat of his body calling to you. He glanced down into your eyes, whatever he saw there changed him, his voice softened and his lips floated over your forehead.

“Oh, Pidge, I didn’t know this would be so hard for you.”

“Over-stimulation or the jealousy?” You challenged. Spencer held you at arms length, easily profiling your frustrations.

“I had a whole seduction planned,” Spencer chuckled, “I wanted to sweep you off your elegant feet in front of all of those insufferable flirts.”

“Yeah?” You asked surprised, “Well, if we don’t do something about this thing soon I am going to cum or cry, can’t be too sure which.”

“Let’s get you home, my lady.” Spencer hooked his free arm around your waist, directing you both towards the brightly lit patio and the cool night breeze. You both hobbled along, for completely different reasons. The unseemly valet eyed your approach, spinning your key ring on his finger repeatedly.

Spencer’s debonair side took over, slipping the young man a bill, “If we could be led to the car ourselves, the lady and I could use a little, discretion.” The teenager eyed you and Spencer, a blush and enthusiastic nod in response as he rushed head first into the dark parking ramp.

Settling between her twitching thighs, Spencer’s steady fingers plucked the soaking pink toy from Y/N’s sex. He carefully wrapped it in his handkerchief and pocketed it, for later clean up. His strong hands stroked her, trying to soothe as he gently blew shocking streams along her folds. She was holding such tension inside her, he worried she would get a headache or be unable to climax. His pride over his charismatic routine dwindled as he saw how the attention on others hurt her.

No matter how she tried, she couldn’t hide it all from him and his years of experience. “Oh, sweetie, let me take care of this.” Spencer bent down to trail kisses along her inner legs. She caressed his face with her soft palm, her breathing hitching again. The extreme angle in the backseat of the Jeep leaving them huddled together.

“I thought tramps did as they pleased?” Y/N asked cautiously. Spencer nestled against her calming touch, his eyes closed in pleasure.

“I tried too much for one night, I pray that my lady can forgive my ambition.”

She smiled as his hungry lips found her damp creases, the heat coating his mouth as he cherished her body and silenced her mind. Watching her, watch him take her, was the greatest aphrodisiac. Spencer shivered with lust and returned to work. The slightest lick sent moans through her, his usual techniques were softened, allowing her to unfold the layers of tension she had been holding, one by one. Spencer knew once she was on the brink, but he needed her to tell him. He wanted her to know he was doing this for her, that her needs mattered first. He hummed quietly as her hips bucked back, “Is my lady ready?”

“Yyyes, ready and waiting,” Y/N whispered. With a thorough broad tongue-stroke, Spencer finished her. Growling against her clit as she mewed over the precipice, the clenching of her muscles pulling her hips further into a seated position. Spencer used his rented jacket to clean his hands and face, waiting for his lady to speak her mind.

The release did little to sate the hunger inside you, your core craved to be filled. You ignored your aching body as you dove for Spencer, mouth crashing against his, sucking, nipping and biting to be closer to him. His body had responded and you soon were dragging his pants down, leaving him bare-assed on the backseat of your Jeep. His injured leg was improving but not enough to balance in such tight quarters, so you slid diligently across his lap rising to your knees as his firm cock was directed beneath you. You kissed him fiercely as you enveloped him. His head flew backwards with the tightness around him, you started building a rhythm as you watched his face contort with his pleasure.

“Does my lord need to play with any other maidens?” You challenged, pinching his chin and dragging his jaw to catch your glare.

“Your lord was a scoundrel and a fool, my lady.” Spencer’s strong thumbs found your nipples through the sheen of your dress.

“Are these tits enough for you?” You demanded, pinning his palms over your breasts with your hands. Spencer didn’t answer, but buried his face in your cleavage, leaving love bites over each crest. He wrenched the dress down, freeing your aching nipples for his cursed tongue to lather. The wet and warmth of one nipple and not the other caused the spiraling to return to your abdomen, you deepened the grind with each roll of your hips. Suddenly he bit your breast, the pain mixed with pleasure sent you reeling, calling out his name in shocked gasps.

He hummed in satisfaction, “My lady is the only maiden I desire,” he bucked against you, holding you at arms length to increase his angle. You fell against the driver’s seat back, but ignored it. “Oh god, Y/N, look how you ride me. How could I ever want anyone else?” You moaned, his thumb trailed over your jaw, filling your mouth. You sucked deeply on the digit, clenching around Spencer’s cock in time.

He grunted genuinely and you coaxed him over, teasing his thumb with your tongue and teeth. His desire filled you and still you continued to ride him, drawing everything from him he had left. You buried his face in your chest as you slipped off of his cock, claiming him and treating him at the same time.

Suddenly a buzzing sound came from Spencer’s pocket, you both laughed, guessing the toy had turned itself back on. Then a gentle rapping on the driver’s side window. Too exhausted to move and too embarrassed to crack the window, you called out into the hushed night.

“What is it?”

“Y/N? Could you move your car?” Penelope’s chipper voice asked. “The way the valets parked, you blocked us all in.”

@reidsexualwriting @dontshootmespence @cherry-loves-fanfic @bookofreid

[scarecrowsbasementceiling]

Hunt Me Down And See What Happens: Prologue

A Marvel/Beauty and the Beast crossover

(Y/N) Quill, Peter’s sister on their father’s side is sent by Fury to another world to retrieve a magical item. Thing is, it’s in a different dimension all together.

No pairings yet. 

Words: 3,053

Characters: You, Nick Fury, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton, Wanda Maximoff, Peter Parker. 

Mentioned: Belle, Gaston

The sunlight shines through my curtains, successfully blinding me into wakefulness. I let out a light groan as I slowly sit up and stretch my upper torso, sighing at the cracking sound it makes. Jumping out of bed, I stretch each leg out.

My clock reads: 8:30am

Holy shit! Did I seriously oversleep again?!? How can one human oversleep as much as I do? Oh wait, I’m not human. Oops, guess that slipped my mind.

I grab a grey tank top, along with a black sports bra and some black spandex shorts then head to my bathroom for a shower. If I’m late I might as well take my time. Besides it ain’t like I’m missing anything special today, as far I can remember I don’t have any meetings and I know Tony won’t say anything to me about not being there.

The hot water hits my back and I feel my muscles relax almost instantly. Damn hot showers feel good, but I can’t spend too much time in here, I’ve got some training to do. Well not training, just working out, but I consider it training.

I lather my head with shampoo, running it through my hair and roots. The soap swirls down the drain as the water washes it out of my hair and scalp. I begin to rub my entire body with Winter Candy Apple body wash from Bath and Body Works, it might not be winter but it still smells good.

Turning off the water and wrapping a towel around my body, I got to the mirror and begin to dry my hair. Thanks to being part god I don’t need a hair dryer. Take that girls! As soon as my hair is fully dry, I run a comb through it to get all the tangles and stuff out of it before going to brush my teeth. I normally brush them before and after I eat, I can’t stand how my mouth feels when I first wake up in the morning, it’s honestly disgusting.

A noise rings from my room, it’s my cell phone. It was probably Natasha wondering where I am, she knows I’m at home so I don’t worry too much about it. I usually zone out her lectures sometimes, if they aren’t important of course. Oh well I’ll call her later.

Quickly getting dressed and heading out to my room, I pick up my phone and head to the training room, time to get some action, wow that sounded wrong.

As soon as I enter the training room, I begin my warmups:

Squats

Climbers

Jumping Jacks

Push Ups

More boring stuff.

Panting and slightly out of breath, I call out to FRIDAY,

“Alright sweetie, time to start the real stuff. Begin simulation number 4 please.”

“As you wish (Y/N)”

Suddenly the scene changes. The training room is no longer visible, instead it’s a deserted street in Florence, Italy. I smirk at the scene change, straight out of Assassin's Creed. I snap my fingers and music fills the room in an instant. (Fox On The Run by Sweet)

Guards come out of the alleyways and from the roofs of multiple buildings, quickly surrounding me. I grin and click the button, allowing my mask to cover my face as I take out my sword. This is only the first part of the simulation, but my adrenaline is already sky high.

They run at me, shouting in Italian. This one never fails to trick me into believing it’s real. Tony’s technology is almost as good as my illusions, they fool me sometimes.

I tap my foot to the beat while I dodge each sword strike, countering them with a slice from my own sword. It isn’t long before half of them are down. Child’s play, but it will get harder. More will come soon, I know it.

I feel a hand reach for me and I duck, grabbing ahold of the guard’s leg and throwing him at the guards in front of me, knocking them all down. I allow my energy to flow to my hand, creating electricity throughout my hand and down my arm.

The guards are quickly taken care of as I shoot the energy at the fallen pile of men. I whoop as I continue taking out guard after guard.

After that, guards come out, two with swords, and a few others with different weapons; along with new moves and faster reflexes. Now it becomes challenging.

I flip and take a guard between my legs and slam him onto the ground hard before stabbing him. Another one charges at me full speed, catching me off guard. He hits me, throwing me back into the wall of a building. Wow these dudes have gotten a lot stronger now. Time to step up my game.

“How about some target practice? I could use it,” I taunt them as I whip out my gun blasters. My mask and guns were identical to Peter’s, a gift from him once I helped him kill our father. What a bonding moment.

I begin to shoot each guard one by one, watching as they all fall down continuously. Oh yeah, I still got it. I fly up and look down at all of them as they scramble to reach me, guess flying hasn’t been added into this one. That’s a shame, oh well guess I should get this over with and go see what Nat wanted.

After all of them are taken out, the simulation ends and I’m back in the training room. I notice how hard I’m panting, wow I really wore myself out didn’t I?

My phone rings, knocking me out of my euphoria. I check the caller ID, looks like I don’t gotta call Nat after all. I take my mask off and put the phone up to my ear,

“Hello?” I answer with a sickly sweet tone.

“Did you just get out training (Y/N)?”

“You know me so well,” I giggle as she lets out a groan.

“Well you’d better be here soon, Fury has a mission for you.”

Natasha hangs up and I roll my eyes, a mission huh? Oh boy I wonder what it could be this time around. Probably taking out some HYDRA agents or tailing a lead on some magical object they need. Boring. Better head to the meeting anyway I guess.

As I stroll leisurely down the hallway, I pass by the youngest member of my little team, Spider Boy. His real name is Peter Parker but I call him Spider Boy most of the time. The kid hates it, always insists on me calling him Spider MAN, and I always tell him the same thing. Not with that voice you’re not.

“Hey (Y/N)! Where you headed?” He asks curiously, a little bit of drowsiness in his voice. He’s so cute. Always wondering what’s going on all the time, he just wants to be included in things, I have respect for him. He’s honestly just happy to be here and that’s okay.

“Just to a meeting, nothing special. Sorry kiddo, maybe we can do something cool another time, yeah?” I tell him. I gotta admit, he is fun to hang around with, even if there is a HUGE age gap.

“Oh ok! Have fun with that, you didn’t do anything bad this time around did you?” Peter asks me with concern. I laugh and shake my head.

“Not this time around Spider Boy.”

He pouts a little at the name, but nods his head and goes on his way. I watch his figure fade into the distance with a small smile on my face, I have a great team. Better than the other Quill’s for sure!

Speaking of him, I haven’t seen my half brother for awhile now. That’s odd, he usually visits me once a month. He’s probably busy collecting bounties on random criminals across space, flirting with Gamora the entire time.

Finally, I get to the meeting room in the tower and bust through the doors with a smile on my face. I make my way to my seat and put my feet on the table like I usually do, ignoring the scowl on Fury’s face.

“I see you’ve gotten comfy haven’t you agent?”

I smirk and nod my head, “super comfy sir! Thanks for asking.”

He rolls his eyes and begins relaying the mission to me. I perk up when he mentions an important object with magical properties. He wants me to retrieve it? Awesome!

“I’m in! Where is it though?”

“It’s not only a matter of where, it’s also a matter of when too,” Fury tells me. My brows knit in confusion, time travel? I can do it, but I’ve never had to before. This thing must be super important then.

“Alright. But first before you tell me when and where, what exactly is it again?”

“A mirror.”

“A… mirror?” I question him slowly, not knowing if this is a joke or not. Is it April the first yet? No no, it’s June.

I look into Fury’s eyes and see that he’s dead serious. What the hell does the thing even do? Well, judging from the fact that it’s a damn MIRROR, it probably has some sort of glamour effect perhaps?

“What does it do exactly? Change appearances?” I inquire quietly to myself, only to be heard by Fury. Damn, I gotta work on being a lot more quiet. But then again, it is a valid question. Ugh I’m tired I want to take a nap, but I can’t, this mission is important. At least I think it is.

“Close, it can show you where anything or anyone is at all times should you wish it. We believe it could come in handy for future use,” Fury answers me. I frown at his answer, disdain clear on my face.

“So you’re gonna use it to spy on people?”

“Yes, but only when needed. Don’t worry, we’re not going to do routine spy checks on any of you, agent.”

I lean back in my chair and ponder to myself, should I decline? Nah, this is too good to pass up! Well, it could be dangerous, I don’t even know where the thing is! I look up at Fury and nod for him to continue explaining.

“It’s in France. But not our France, a certain fairytale France,” Fury informs me. Fairytale? Like Disney and stuff like that? Wait a minute…..

“NO WAY I’M GONNA GET TO MEET BELLE?” I scream out in joy. Ever since I was little and I got away from the insane father, I’ve always loved the Disney princesses. Now, Belle was never my favorite, I was an Ariel fan myself, but I did admire and respect her. I will never admit it to anyone, but I’ve always had a little crush on Gaston.

Yeah he’s the villain and a seriously evil dude, but I couldn’t help myself! I’ve always attracted trouble so it was only natural to like the bad guys and girls. Now I can’t believe I’m gonna get to possible meet him, this is almost unreal. But then again since I’ve been working for the Avengers and knowing my lineage nothing really seems unreal that much anymore.

“Now you will be leaving here shortly since you don’t really need to pack anything. Plus it’s going to be just you, don’t let me down on this (Y/N)”

I shoot him a big grin and nod my head and stand up from my seat to face Fury. Oh this is going to be so much fun!

“Don’t you worry bout a thing boss, I’ve got it covered!” I wink at him and give a mock salute with two fingers, skipping out of the door and into the living area. I’m then interrupted by a growl coming from my stomach. Oh yeah that’s right, I haven’t eaten yet. Looks like I have one thing to do before I leave.

I bump into Tony as I enter the kitchen, I give him a wave as I move towards the fridge to get the milk for cereal.

“I heard you had a meeting with Fury, what was it about?” Tony asks me while peering over my shoulder.

“Oh nothing really serious, just a little mission.” I lie, but doesn’t last long as I let out a loud squeal and jump into the air, almost hitting my head on the ceiling.

“Doesn’t seem like it from that jump,” he jokes with a finger pointed at the ceiling. I snort and roll my eyes playfully before hitting him lightly on the shoulder while I pass him with my cereal.

“I’m gonna get to meet one of my favorite Disney princesses dude! Imma meet Belle yo! THE Belle! I can’t wait this is gonna be awesome,” I bubble with joy as I let him in on the news. He raises an eyebrow at this. Dude probably doesn’t believe me, which is kinda weird for him but it’s Tony so…

It isn’t long before more of the team shuffles into the kitchen while I sit at the island enjoying my cereal. I can hear Tony announcing my mission to the gang, which produces gasps from some of the team and silence from others. Clint bursts out of the kitchen and slides into the stool next to me.

“You’re gonna see a damn princess and you’re not taking me? I am OFFENDED!” Clint complains and I only point at him and snicker in victory. A hurt expression forms on his face before it’s quickly overtaken by laughter.

“I’m just kidding, not really but I know I can’t come with. Good luck and don’t give away too much information. Also get me an autograph from Gaston and Belle. Thanks, I gotta go now.” He waves at me before leaving. I shake my head and take my bowl and put it in the sink.

Once I finish cleaning my bowl and putting it away, Nat comes up behind me and grabs my shoulders, causing me to jump and scream.

“Damn it Nat, don’t do that! I could’ve shot you ya know,” I mutter while catching my breath.

She lets out a quiet laugh and lets go of my shoulders while taking a step back,

“No you wouldn’t. If you had though I could stop it with ease.”

“Yeah but can you stop my guns AND my foot?” I question her.

“We’ll see when you get back. If you get back that is,” she says, I detect a bit of worry in her voice.

“I will be back Nat, have no fear,” I assure her gently. She smiles and touches my hand gently before walking out of the kitchen to who knows where.

I’m left to my own thoughts before I feel another presence coming towards me.

I perk up as Wanda comes near me, I really like her, she has powers almost similar to mine so we could relate a lot easier than anyone else in the tower.

“Come with me (Y/N), I’ll be teaching you how to get to your destination for the mission,” she tells me. I give a small bow and motion for her to lead the way.

We walk along a hallway that leads to an enclosed space, with walls made of metal. There wasn’t anything in the room, minus us and a pad in the middle of the room. Jeez this place looks boring, it is in serious need of a makeover.

All of a sudden I feel really blue, I haven’t gotten a chance to see my brother before I leave. He’ll probably worry his ass off once he finds out what I’m doing. He knows I can handle myself, and I know he can handle himself, but we’re siblings it’s our job to worry about each other.

“Wanda, can you do something for me?” I ask her gently.

“What is it?”

“Can ya tell Quill where I’m going and that I’ll be back soon, I don’t want him to worry too much.” I say, “Just a little bit of worrying is good enough,” I add, trying to lighten the mood.

She squeezes my shoulder and gives me side hug, that meant yes in Wanda language I suppose.

“So what are we gonna be doing?” I probe, staring at her with a glimmer of adventure in my eyes, the sadness slowly disappearing.

“This is how you will be travelling to the world. I know you can do it on your own, but the thing is you haven’t done it at all, so you are out of practice. The pad will help you direct your energy to a spot so you can make a portal and get there, it’s simple. All you have to do is imagine creating a portal that will take you to the place you need to go and focus the energy on the pad.” Wanda explains, pointing at the pad and staring at me.

I swallow, slowly becoming nervous. Wanda was right, I had never done something like this before. Will it even be stable enough for me to go through? Your eyes widen as another thought crosses my mind, when will I be getting there?

What if the whole Belle and the Beast thing will have already happened when I get there? Will that make things easier or harder?

“Do not worry, you will be in control of that too,” Wanda assures me with a short smile.

I nod and give her a thumbs up, signalling that I’m ready to do this. She takes a step back and allows me to get in front of the pad. I close my eyes and begin to focus my energy on the pad.

I can feel the energy course through my veins as I direct it onto the pad, the place already burned into my mind. A whirring noise begins to appear, getting louder with each blast of energy I pump into the pad.

“Good, it’s ready. You can go through now (Y/N), good luck,” Wanda tells me. Once my eyes are open, they close instantly at the bright light now in front of us. I slowly walk towards it, and then take a big leap into the portal.

Let’s get this party started...

Next Chapter

Tags: @antlers-inallofmy-decorating

[redgoldblue]

Phase 3 MCU Movie Rankings By Your Humble Host

So I just saw Far From Home finally and then went in the group chat and that somehow culminated in this; a definitive ranking and brief ‘review’ of every phase 3 MCU movie from Civil War (no. 9/10) to Far From Home (no. 5).

No.1. Thor: Ragnarok. I’m sorry Carol and T’Challa but Taika’s got you beat. I mean Korg? Proper Thor? Valkyrie? Proper Loki? Sugar Daddy Jeff Goldblum? I have never enjoyed a superhero movie so much and there’s honestly not a lot of movies full stop that I’ve enjoyed more.

No.2: Captain Marvel. I will admit putting this over Black Panther is entirely subjective and like objectively from a critics stance it should probably be the other way around HOWEVER did BP have reunited wives? A cat that was actually an alien? Baby Nick Fury? Obligatory 90s jokes? Villain Jude Law? Really cool alien characters? I don’t think so!

No. 3: Black Panther. Like i said it’s mostly only below Captain Marvel bc given two things on fairly level footing I am always gonna prefer the more comedic one. However, literally all the major characters in this movie are actually just… really great characters and I’m including T’Challa, Shuri, Nakia, Okoye, Michael, the queen whose name I can’t remember (Ram…?), the lad who led the other tribe whose name I also can’t remember (started with M?), and Martin Freeman’s character in that and that’s a lot of people to successfully develop in one movie so on that alone it would have to be a top-rated one never mind that it was also enjoyable.

No. 4… Antman and the Wasp. The Antman movies are like criminally under appreciated by both critics and the fandom bc again. Great characters (Cassie, Hope, Hank, Scott, Luis, etc.), great relationships between those characters, in this movie especially a REALLY good villain like sure maybe Ghost’s like… power continuity could have been better but otherwise she was terrific, and also your main character getting consistently dunked on by his love interest and her father who’s also his mentor? What more could you want from a movie? Apart from that it be directed by Taika Waititi.

No.5: Far From Home, like… half bc of MJ but also Jake Gyllenhaal and Happy Hogan and Aunt May and Nick Fury. Like maybe the plot wasn’t the best piece of writing Marvel’s ever produced but it was pretty decent and this is the last Infinity Saga movie so they really just had to give us some fluffy fan service and they went over and above that both with the awkward high school romance and with Peter’s storyline about struggling with Being A Hero and Tony’s death and legacy. And also Jake Gyllenhaal.

No. 6: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 - it was sort of a letdown after the first one being probably my favourite phase 2 movie but like. It wasn’t awful. It was pretty fun. It had Baby Groot in it which obviously adds a +10 boost immediately. Gamora and Nebula had some cool scenes. Good conceptual message about rejecting toxic biological family for found family if a little messily executed at points. A guy called Taserface.

No 7: Spider-Man:Homecoming. Again like, it was okay? Obviously as a Spider-Man origin movie it was blown out of the water later on by Into the Spiderverse but that’s a given. I can’t actually remember a whole lot about it but it did properly introduce us to the MCU’s MJ and Aunt May and also Peter himself who is Baby so it gets points for that. Also all the ones from now on are starting to get actually bad and it wasn’t bad so. 7.

No. 8: Endgame. Ooh, putting Endgame above Civil War or Dr Strange. Daring, you may say. To which I say, a) Civil War was terrible, b) Dr Strange was racist and orientalist and I know this without having seen it, and c) Endgame honestly could have been a hell of a lot worse. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t /good/, but it did have some redeeming points - Thor’s storyline once you got rid of the fat jokes was good +we got to see Frigga and Valkyrie again, it was probably Natasha’s second best movie after The Winter Soldier even though she died (or possibly because of it that might have been why they let her have an Actual Personality), Clint had more than two lines even if they did sorta fuck up his Ronin storyline, and Tony’s storyline was also pretty good apart from you know the death. They fucked up Steve and they didn’t give Scott or Carol enough screen time and they didn’t let Nebula kill Thanos but those were their only major mistakes I think so for a 3 hour movie which had to follow Infinity War… it coulda been worse. And actually they did pretty well with Steve for most of it it was just the ending and the bits forced in prior to foreshadow it.

No. 9&10: Civil War and Doctor Strange. I’m merging these partly bc I haven’t seen the latter and so don’t want to independently rate it and partly bc the issues with them are sort of incomparable? Like from what I gather DS had an alright plot and also his sidekick seems cool from later movies it was just the Entirely Avoidable Racism, whereas Civil War was not racist (that I remember) but was just…. a mess. It was a fucking mess, and not in a good way. There’s a reason why the Civil War storyline took up an ENTIRE COMIC RUN and that’s because it’s the sort of plot line that requires an actual proper setup. Also almost everyone was out of character? And for T’Challa that’s because they didn’t know how to write him yet and for Natasha it’s bc she really just doesn’t have a franchise-consistent character but they had no excuse for everyone else??? And the worst part is most of the things that everyone did could have been justified in character, as fandom meta later showed, but they weren’t, again, set up properly. Also I find it hard to separate this from all the fucking fandom ‘Team Cap or Team Tony there’s no such thing as acknowledging maybe they both had points but also both did sucky things’ drama afterwards.

No. 11: Infinity War. Lads, I know you were trying to do your big grand finale movie but you failed… so bad. So bad that you literally had to kill off half your characters to make the next movie bearable. We all knew it would be terrible. We all knew you can’t fit that many characters into one movie. We been knowing. Also they killed off Loki in the first five minutes and wrecked Ragnarok’s entire ending so like……. bad start dudes. They tried to compensate for having too many characters by instead spending too much time on their villain, only somehow they still failed to make him understandable or compelling. They killed off Gamora as well as Loki. The only good part of this movie was that it set up Thor to join the Guardians and even then Endgame had to be there to follow it through. Wait also Peter Dinklage as a giant dwarf. And ‘dude you’re embarrassing me in front of the wizards’ and the scene with Peter and Tony and other Peter on the ship and our 2.5 seconds of Pepperony. But other than that it was just…. terrible. You bombed hard bros.

[ri-writing]

Part Two of Six - Luxury

Part Two – Luxury

Jyn wasn't an expert on the Rebel Alliance, but she was starting to believe that she was given more freedom to operate than most people.  No one complained when she was found slugging a heavy bag in a training room at 0300 or when she was asleep at 1030.  No one insisted she follow military protocol.  The armory didn't give her a hard time when she searched for a few weapons she needed, despite the fact there were no records assigning weapons to her.  It wasn't until Mothma agreed that Bodhi could pilot the upcoming mission that Jyn put everything together.

“I think I'm Councilor Mothma's special project,” she told Bodhi as they made their way through the mess line.

“You're just figuring that out?” Bodhi joked.  When she didn't respond right away, he said, “Oh. You, uh, you just figured that out.”

It was, Jyn suddenly realized, obvious to everyone but her.  She knew her face was coloring slightly and quickly reached for a wrapped sandwich.

“Hey, I'm not complaining,” Bodhi kept talking.  “I get to fly her out to some important meeting instead of picking up foodstuffs at a shady space station because of you.”

“The meeting is at a shady spaceport,” Jyn pointed out, turning away from the line and towards their normal table.  She stopped.

“Change of scenery, then.”  Bodhi continued to happily chat as he snagged a piece of fruit from a basket.  “Stay on her good side, Jyn.  I'm starting to like this nepotism – what's wrong?”

Jyn inclined her head at Cassian Andor, sitting at a table with several men she didn't recognize.  She hadn't seen him since she overheard his conversation with the unknown major.  It had been easy to lock him away in a new hatch in her mind and pretend as if he was no one of importance.  Now, suddenly, he was there, just across the room, and she was forced to admit that the hatch had yet again failed to protect her.  Jyn's stomach dropped and she felt her face flame as his words began repeating in her mind.  

It was then that Cassian noticed their attention.  His eyes met hers, dark and unreadable.

“Jyn?”  Bodhi sounded far away, despite standing next to her.

She blinked, then forced herself to look away.  “I...”

“I've got to run some checks on the shuttle for tomorrow.  Mind helping?”  Bodhi asked, turning his back on Cassian and heading towards the exit as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

You're leaving in the morning, she reminded herself.  And chances are, he’ll be off on a mission and won't be here when you get back.  As if she always meant to grab a sandwich and go, she followed Bodhi from the mess.

She didn't start breathing again until they were half way to the hangar.

~*~

If Jyn was being honest with herself, she might have some lingering resentment for the higher ups in the Alliance stemming from how she originally met them.  Binders and kidnapping had that effect on a person.  

Still, she found she didn't hold onto it nearly as much with regard to Mothma than she did where others were concerned.  The older woman could have ordered Jyn around like a soldier, the way Jyn saw high ranking officers order those beneath them.  Instead, Mothma spoke to her as if her opinion mattered, as if she was an equal, as if she wasn't a criminal who spent her formative years in and out of prison, fights, and temporary fringe organizations.  Jyn wasn't sure how to respond to this treatment, but she found it warmed her towards Mothma personally and Alliance Command generally.

When Mothma asked Bodhi's opinion on what life had been like in the Holy City prior to its destruction and listened attentively to what he described as if receiving a briefing from someone like General Draven, Jyn decided that maybe it was time to let go of what little resentment was left.

Now, as they hurtled through hyperspace, the questions began to wiggle their way through her mind. There were far better people than Jyn and Bodhi for this mission. There were people who were trained to negotiate and recruit.  There were people who knew how to handle difficult conversations with grace and smooth over rough edges.  There had to even be people who Mothma would trust to travel into Imperial space with far more than she could trust two people she barely knew.  “Why me?”  Jyn broke the silence.

“I'm sorry?”  Mothma looked up from the mug of caf she'd been nursing.

“You requested me, specifically,” Jyn pointed out.  “For this....”  She waved a hand at the shuttle.

“Oh.”  Mothma nodded.  “Yes. The group we're meeting with is the sort whose political opinions trend towards Saw Gerrera's.  I believe some of them had been in contact with him these past few years.  Having someone who's lived that life on the team is useful.”

“I give you credibility,” Jyn translated.  It made sense.  Even dressed in a set of fatigues – and they were very nice fatigues – Mothma did not look like a soldier.  There was a look about the Partisans, about soldiers like them, that you couldn't adopt unless you lived it.  Even now, years later, Jyn knew she still carried the look.  She didn't deny that people felt more comfortable around someone they thought they understood.  Another Partisan-style solider, standing quietly with an Alliance diplomat, sent a statement.

“You do,” Mothma agreed.  “I'm not going to deny that walking through the door with Saw Gerrera's mysterious foster daughter isn't going to get us the kind of attention we want, but that's not why I wanted you on this mission.” She sipped from her caf.  “The briefing materials you prepared are impressive, and you understand these types of organizations.  You understand the people.  That knowledge could help us find a way to sway their hearts to what we're offering.”  A small smile appeared on her face.  “And you're better at it than you think.  I don't believe you realized the effect you had on our last meeting.”

Considering the people in the only other meeting she'd been to with Mothma were either dead or not among her fan club, Jyn wasn't going to touch that comment.  She caught herself playing with her necklace and forced her hands to still. “Why are these people important to the Alliance?”

“It's a strategically important system, and the cell here is large and established.  If we can find common ground, we could work together and accomplish more than either organization could do on its own.”  Mothma looked up from her caf. “I believe the quote goes 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend.'”

“But you kicked Saw out.”  Jyn finished.

Mothma nodded.  “We've had recruiters communicating with this cell.  They're more extreme than we'd like, but not on the order that Saw was.  We think they may be willing to modify tactics.  Before now, they've been unwilling to hear us out, but the recent discussions with the recruiters have been promising.”

“What changed?”

Mothma looked at her and gave her the smallest of smiles.  “Scarif,” she said.  “If our tactics get those types of results, well, perhaps there's something to them. Nothing will be resolved on this trip, but hopefully it will be a step in the right direction.”

“You're risking a trip into Imperial space because you hope you will be able to form a strategic alliance some unknown time in the future.”  Jyn said.  She did a poor job of hiding how foolish she thought that was.  Mothma had a price on her head, and they were going to an Imperial-held world for something that was more likely than not to be a waste of time.  It was, in Jyn's opinion, the definition of foolish.

Mothma smiled again, as if amused by the entire conversation.  “I seem to remember someone insisting that rebellions are built on hope.”

The image rose in her mind.  The street on Jedha, the cool temperatures chilling her skin, the foreign smells wafting from market stalls, and the sound of many unfamiliar languages.  Cassian Andor, standing far too close, as he took her scoffing and easily replied, “Rebellions are built on hope.” Jyn pulled her jacket tighter.  “I might have borrowed that from Captain Andor.”

Mothma laughed.  “Well.  It was a good line to borrow.”  She returned to her caf and added, “And a good person to borrow from.”

“Yes,” Jyn agreed as her hand began to fidget with her necklace once more.  “ He's very dedicated to the cause.”

~*~

“You have a lot of weapons for a diplomatic aid,” Bodhi observed as their rented speeder flowed with traffic through the city.

“I have three,” Jyn protested. “Saw used to carry at least double that when we had to meet with Alliance representatives.”  She realized belatedly that Saw was probably not the person to hold up as a sign that her behavior complied with societal normalcy.  Saw hadn't even been considered normal within a group plotting to overthrow legitimate governments. She quickly found a better excuse.  “I carry all of them around the base and no one blinks.  Besides, I'm a bodyguard today.”  She glanced up at the tall buildings they were weaving through.  “You, too.  If anyone asks, you're deadly.”

“I thought I was just driving the rental speeder.”

“Oh,” Mothma spoke up from the backseat, “Everyone knows the best chauffeurs are the deadliest. My family's chauffeur on Chandrila was ex-military, worked in special ops before coming to work for us.  He could do everything from snapping the neck of a fully grown man in a brawl to making someone quietly disappear from under the noses of top security officers.”

Bodhi dropped his voice.  “Is she serious?”  He whispered to Jyn.

“You're wanted on six worlds,” Jyn remarked, ignoring the question.  “Under three different names.”

“Only six?”  Mothma asked.  “Hm. We need to do better on our screening for speeder chauffeurs.  They should at least be wanted on eight.”

“I, uh, I can't hit the side of a building with a blaster...” Bodhi started.  “I don't even like that I have to carry one for this.  If we could, maybe, come up with a more, a more convincing story...”

“All you have to do is stand silently and scowl,” Mothma told him, her voice reassuring.

“And pretend you're wanted on six worlds,” Jyn added.  “There were people who left me alone when I was working with various organizations because I looked at them like I wanted to hit them.”

“Did you?”  Bodhi asked.  “Want to hit them?”

“Usually,” Jyn conceded.  She tilted her head back against the headrest and shut her eyes.  The sunlight felt warm on her face.  “But if you stand there and scowl, they won't know the difference.”

“I don't expect any trouble.” Mothma added.  “They want to talk with us as much as we want to talk with them.  That means everyone will behave themselves.”

Jyn snorted.  She gone to one of Saw's meetings with an Alliance representative.  The two men hadn't exactly engaged in civil debate.  At the time, she'd been surprised it hadn't gotten violent.  Nine year old Jyn had thought it should have, convinced Saw would win the fight and get his way.

In the backseat, Mothma amended, “No one will shoot us.”

~*~

Jyn had found the Alliance Council's meeting about the Death Star to be both frustrating and ridiculous. An hour into Mothma's meeting with the resistance cell, she realized just how much worse meetings could be.  She'd found the various factions among the Alliance to be bickering and unfocused, but at least those factions came from different organizations operating in different sectors under different conditions.  This cell was supposedly one cohesive group.

Supposedly.

Jyn was convinced no one involved in this meeting had the first idea of what cohesion meant.  There were no less than fifteen representatives from the resistance cell because, as she quickly learned, there were fifteen conflicting points of view on what everyone should do.  It was no way to run a resistance organization.  She didn't know how Mothma was still calmly and rationally speaking with them.  In Jyn's opinion, this was all a waste of time and her nine-year old self's approach to problem solving – beat the other guy into the ground – was looking better by the minute.  

“The problem I have about your proposal,” an older man with a nasty looking scar splitting his cheek was speaking, “Is that your Alliance,” he spat the word, “Is withholding all aid to us unless we do things your way.”

“Failure to avoid civilian casualties is not an option.”  Mothma replied, still calm, but her voice getting the smallest bit sharper.  “The Empire is the enemy, not the people who are unfortunate enough to stand near a stormtrooper in the street.”  Okay, Jyn amended, maybe not quite as calm as she had been.

“It's not like the Imperials let us waltz into their bases to have a go at them,” a woman about Jyn's age remarked, not bothering to mask her frustration.

“That's something we can help with,” Mothma turned to the woman.  “That's why we're discussing a strategic partnership.  We can provide you with intel and with operatives trained to do things like get you inside a base to have a go at the Empire.”

“I don't even know why we're talking about this,” the man with the scar cut in.  “Your way of fighting had you hiding in shadows.  You can sneer down your nose at us all you want, but with our way, the Empire knows people are fighting back.  They know we’re a serious enemy.  We’re causing damage.  People know what we can do.”  He'd made the argument at least seven times now, and seven times, the majority of the cell's representatives murmured their assent.  They began murmuring again now.

“Oh for the love of....  Your way isn't working,” Jyn interrupted, her hands slamming on the top of the table.  The room became quiet.  She had their attention.  She wasn't supposed to.  She was supposed to stand behind Mothma with Bodhi and scowl.  This was blowing up spectacularly.

Jyn was not a politician.  Her knowledge of how to communicate with other rebellion groups was limited to watching Saw as a child and watching one Council meeting as an adult.  She had the room, though, and for the first time, no one was muttering. 

Oh, well.  They were about to be thrown out anyways.  “You might be causing chaos for the Empire, but you're alienating the people.  You're feeding the Empire's narrative – that you're everyone’s enemy – and you're driving every civilian into the Empire's arms because they want to feel safe.”

“People who sacrifice freedom for safety don't deserve either,” someone hissed.

“That's bantha shit and you know it,” Jyn shot back.  “You aren't offering them freedom.  You're just offering them a different thing to fear.”  She saw the movement out of the corner of one eye.  Jyn twisted towards the motion and saw a hand stop part way to a blaster.  She held the gaze of the young man, wondering what she would do if he didn't back down.

His hand fell back to his side.  Jyn let out the breath she'd been holding slowly through her nose so that the others didn't see her relief.

She was aware that everyone was still looking at her, and it felt, suddenly, as if the room was now holding its breath.  Jyn looked at Mothma, who gave her a small smile and nodded once for her to continue.

Except she didn't know what to say. She'd opened her mouth and put herself into a conversation she wasn't supposed to be a part of.  She was here as a bodyguard, and maybe to provide a bit of insight on how people like these soldiers thought, because their approach was similar to....

She swallowed.  “I was rescued from the Empire by Saw Gerrera when I was eight years old.”  Her voice sounded more confident than she felt.  What little confidence was there wanted to leak from her as the room became more electric than before and she heard someone whisper something about Saw’s daughter.  Jyn didn’t have time to think about what that meant.  “He raised me.  He taught me everything I know about fighting the Empire.  And some of you,” she let her eyes sweep the room, “I know some of you met him.  You know the type of fighter he was.”

“One of the best,” someone called, as if Saw was a hero from myth and not the broken, paranoid man he'd been at the end.

“Yes.”  Jyn agreed, keeping her voice as even as she could.  “He was a great soldier.  But he was never as effective as he could have been.  His tactics alienated a lot of people who would otherwise have helped him.  People who would have been allies, who would have provided supplies, or hid fighters, or sent information.”

“The Alliance's tactics are to hide in shadows and rely on assassins and spies,” another person spoke. “What have their tactics accomplished?”  A chorus of assenting murmurs began to rise in the room.

“Destroying the Death Star.”  Jyn replied, point blank.

The chorus fell silent.

“Councilor Mothma is not saying you shouldn't fight, or that you have to fight from shadows.  She’s saying that if you narrow your targets, make strikes on military targets while avoiding civilians where possible, you'll see better results.  Less terror.  More allies.  More military disruption.”  Jyn glanced at the table.  “Maybe if we'd done that with the Partisans, we'd have liberated worlds instead of causing headaches for the Empire.”

“Has the Alliance had any success with these types of strikes?”  A different man asked.  For once, the tone was not combative.

“We have,” Mothma answered the question.  “Worlds have been freed, and we're gathering support across the galaxy as well.”  She sat forward and rested her hands on the table.  “Let me tell you how we liberated Contruum.”

~*~

Returning to the spaceport was one of the most anti-climactic things Jyn had done in recent days. Considering that her last foray into the political arena ended with her somehow leading an army of assassins and saboteurs (plus two Guardians and Bodhi) to invade an Imperial stronghold in an attempt to stop a super weapon, she supposed she didn't really know how these types of things were supposed to go.

“I think that actually went,” Bodhi paused, “Well, not-bad.”

“We've opened a constructive dialogue with what could be an extremely useful ally,” Mothma agreed.  “I'd optimistically say it went very not-bad.”

“And no one was shot,” Bodhi added.

“That too.”  Mothma looked at Jyn. “You know, for someone who never had the luxury of political opinions, I'd say you made quite a debut.”

Jyn shoved her hands into the pockets of her jacket and followed Bodhi onto the walkway leading towards their landing pad.  “I'm not a politician.”

“No, you're not,” Mothma said, “And that's a very good thing.  You-”

“Hey!”  Bodhi hollered.

In front of her, Jyn saw him point, and followed the motion.  At the end of the landing pad, the thrusters engaged on their shuttle.

It was not the first time Jyn had watched a ship thief take off with her transportation.  It wouldn't be the last.  And yet, the righteous anger at being left behind by her shuttle flared as if it was a never before felt wound.  She pushed past Bodhi, running along the walkway as she drew her blaster and tracked the ship's movement.

The shuttle climbed higher into the sky.  Slowing to a stop, Jyn lowered her weapon as the futility of her actions set in.  A lone woman with a blaster wasn't going to stop a shielded shuttle from leaving.  Just wonderful.  Some bodyguard she'd turned out to be.  On her first mission, the damn shuttle was stolen...  All she could do was watch it move further and further away.

And then it exploded.

Notes – The remark about Jyn being present when Saw was meeting with the Alliance is pulled from the Rogue One comic adaptation.  I'm aware another possible source conflicts as to whether they met.  Mon's belief in Jyn and desire to champion her is pulled from the Rogue One novelization.  Contruum’s liberation is a reference to events in old canon that were spearheaded by Airen Cracken.  Since he’s included into new canon, I made an allusion to that history.

Sorry for the ten thousand edits.  I keep finding coding I forgot to remove.

[gokinjeespot]

off the rack #1245

Monday, January 14, 2019

 Sorry this is going out later than usual. It's freezing outside this morning -18 degrees C (or 0 degrees F for all you non-metric folks). A good reason to stay under the flannel sheets and down comforter a couple of hours longer.

 We had a National Geographic moment here yesterday when a hawk managed to capture a male cardinal right at our bird feeders. They are both beautiful birds and the hawk was only doing what comes naturally but it's still traumatic to witness the circle of life being played out right outside your window. Penny saw the raptor fly off with its bright red meal clutched in its talons.

 X-23 #8 - Mariko Tamaki (writer) Diego Olortegui (pencils) Walden Wong (inks) Chris O'Halloran (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). X-Assassin part 2. Laura and Gabby rescue their "sister" from the bad guys. Whether the X-Assassin appreciates it is still to be determined. I like this straight forward story where the girls are trying to do the right thing and the villain is clearly defined.

 Thor #9 - Jason Aaron (writer) Mike del Mundo (art) VC's Joe Sabino (letters). This lead up to "The War of the Realms" features Roz Solomon and it's great. Sometimes I'll read a comic book with a lot of writing and wonder partway through when is it going to finish? This time each word balloon and caption just carried me along as Roz fights a frost giant and gathers important intel as an Agent of Wakanda. I loved the little scene with ex-boyfriend Thor.

 Domino #10 - Gail Simone (writer) David Baldeon, Michael Shelfer, Alberto Alburquerque & Anthony Piper (art) Victor Olazaba, Ed Tadeo & Michael Shelfer (inks) Carlos Lopez (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). Soldier of Fortune conclusion. The team up with Longshot ends, tied up with a big fat bow. I found the pacing of this story to be too fast. The good guys go to the Mojoverse to see if they can heal Longshot, fight through an army of guards and get into the hospital where a doctor cures their friend. Then it's back to their own universe and a long nap. All in 20 pages. They glossed over the fact that both Domino and Longshot have a luck power, which was what made me want to keep reading this story. I would have liked more depth. I'm also not a fan of art by committee. I don't mind a couple of artists working on an issue but four different styles is too jarring visually for me.

 Young Justice #1 - Brian Michael Bendis (writer) Patrick Gleason (art) Alejandro Sanchez (colours) DC Lettering (letters). Yay Young Justice. When I saw the ads for the new Bendis books I was most excited to see this teen team. I loved the old series written by Peter David. I am so happy to see Impulse/Bart (RIP Mike Wieringo), Robin/Tim, Superboy/Conner, and Wonder Girl/Cassie back on the racks. It's going to be neat to see how Amethyst, Jenny Hex and Teen Lantern fit into the team. This intro is a pulse-pounding fight between the teen heroes and warriors from Gemworld. I probably would have read this no matter who drew it but Patrick Gleason makes this new book an automatic add to my "must read" list.

 Criminal #1 - Ed Brubaker (writer) Sean Phillips (art & letters) Jacob Phillips (colours). Meet lowlife Teeg Lawless fresh out of prison and already in the hole for 23 K. How's he going to pay that off? You'll find out if you stick with this story of a hardened criminal. I love how Ed Brubaker writes about these extraordinary ordinary people and Sean Phillips is perfect for this slice of noir life.

 Captain Marvel #1 - Kelly Thompson (writer) Carmen Carnero (art) Tamra Bonvillain (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). Yep, it's another number one for Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel and you can jump right in and follow her new adventures without missing a beat. You know there's a Captain Marvel movie starring Brie Larson hitting the big screens in March right? I've followed Captain Marvel ever since she was a he in 1967 wearing the green costume with the fin on his helmet. Carol is my favourite character to use the moniker. This first issue is a standard introduction with the requisite super hero fight where Carol saves the city from a giant monster with the help of another of my favourite super heroes, Spiderwoman. Nice to see Jessica back on the racks. The twist at the end will surprise fans expecting another boring super hero comic book as Captain Marvel finds herself leading a whole new crew of do gooders. I'm going to stay tuned.

 Batman #62 - Tom King (writer) Mitch Gerads (art) Clayton Cowles (letters). Knightmares part 2. This is a very intense fight between Batman and the villain Pyg. The last two pages makes this issue more than what it seems.

 Die #2 - Kieron Gillen (writer) Stephanie Hans (art) Clayton Cowles (letters). Die is not just the singular for dice but it's also the name of the place that five former Dungeons and Dragons players find themselves trapped in. It's a very scary place and I think their quest to get home will ultimately fail. I'm sure some of them will die in Die. I wish I liked this more but none of the characters appeal to me and I find the story depressing. This fantasy with real life characters can go on without me.

 Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #1 - Tom Taylor (writer) Juann Cabal (art) Nolan Woodard (colours) VC's Travis Lanham (letters). I was hooked on this new Spider-Man book as soon as I saw the names in the credits. Tom and Juann are in my top five list of writers and artists and they didn't disappoint me. Check out their X-23 story that just hit the racks as a trade paperback. Everything you need for a good comic book is here. You've got a little bit of super heroic action, mysterious bad guys, a damsel in distress and two little kids with glowing eyes on the last page to make you want to read the next issue right away. You have to wait until January 23 for that though. I know some Marvelites have complained that Marvel's new number ones are priced higher at $4.99 US but this one has a back-up story worth the extra buck. Peter Parker's Aunt May has been around since day one and has faced many threats. This latest one by Tom Taylor (writer) Marcelo Ferreira (pencils) Roberto Poggi (inks) Jim Campbell (colours) & VC's Travis Lanham (letters) might just break the two of them. If you've stopped reading Amazing, Friendly Neighborhood is a good replacement.

 Prodigy #2 - Mark Millar (writer) Rafael Albuquerque (art) Marcelo Maiolo (colours) Peter Doherty (letters). I love this kind of pure fantasy where the hero is a super intelligent guy with unlimited resources and the bad guys are pure evil. Showing the villains hunting children with rifles leaves no doubt. The threat is pure science fiction and the stakes are impossibly high. This is the kind of story that keeps me wanting to read every issue.

 Man Without Fear #2 - Jed MacKay (writer) Stefano Landini (art) Andres Mossa (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). Oh, so that's what happened. Matt was hit by a truck while saving a kid. That's why he's lying in a hospital crippled to the point where he has decided to retire Daredevil. This issue's narrator was a surprise and made me wonder if they're going to resurrect this character again. Jed has done a good enough writing this weekly mini so that I want to keep reading to see how Matt recovers to don the devil costume again.

 Avengers #12 - Jason Aaron (writer) Ed McGuinness & Cory Smith (pencils) Mark Morales, Karl Kesel & Scott Hanna (inks) Erick Arciniega (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). S.H.I.E.L.D. is gone. Now we have the Agents of Wakanda. This issue introduces some of those agents. They're a mix of misfits and oddballs. I like the I.T. guy and the guy out in space. Ka-Zar is a surprise but I like him too because I hope to see Zabu soon. These Avengers are dealing with Namor and his Defenders of the Deep but also another threat coming out of Transylvania. I like who they recruit to deal with the vampires but I thought he was in prison. Nope, just checked. He got 3 years for tax evasion and was released in April 2013.

 Miles Morales: Spider-Man #2 - Saladin Ahmed (writer) Javier Garron (art) David Curiel (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). I love the cover showing everything this young man has to juggle while living a dual life. Imagine trying to do it without a smart phone? I like that the Rhino doesn't have one just like me. So Miles and Rhino are trying to find some missing kids. The trail leads them to an old warehouse where they fight the bad guy but lose him. The good guy showing up on the last page will help them continue the search. Saladin must have gotten some writing tips from Brian Bendis to keep the audience panting for more.