#here’s the good thing! yes if you open the package you’ll see it is ‘what you owe to the world’

[soxcietyy]

my request is yuta finding readers toys and testing it on her the next time they do the deed 🙏🙏

Rating’s

This is embarrassingly late, I’m so sorry 😭🙏🏼

Nobara comes over to your house with a mystery box just to be disappointed with the contents inside. Yuta shows up unexpected and seems very interested in it.

"Hey! Guess who finally got the goods! Can’t wait to see what’s in here." Nobara said as she stood in front of your door with a cardboard box in her hands. It took you a second to even figure out what in the world she was talking about. What plans could of you guys made that you had forgotten about?

Ah yes last week she had mentioned that she made a new friend who owned a company. He said that he needed people to review his new products before he could launch them in his shop. Before he could reveal what it was Nobara stopped him, telling the guy that she wanted it to be a surprise. She promised to run over here once she received the package so you guys could be surprised together.

"What do you think it could be? Clothes? Food? Candy? Skincare? Makeup?!" Nobara said excitedly as she squeezed passed you. She didn’t need permission to enter because she would barge in even if you said no.

Walking into your apartment she decided to put the box on the coffee table. A loud thud could be heard as it made contact with the glass top. She took a seat on the floor as she waited for you, excited to see what was inside. She almost looked like a kid eager to open there gift. That would have to wait a second though. Walking to the kitchen you grab some wine glasses and a bottle so you guys could enjoy together. Whatever it was would go perfectly with a cold bottle of wine.

"Hurry up!" She says as she crosses her arms.

Yyou let out a sigh as you lean on the island, then you tell her to open the tape up while you poured drinks.

"I’m so excited!" Nobara says as she pulls out her keys and drags it across the tape to tear it open. While she did that you opened the bottle and poured the drinks into the glass. Once you had finished you approach her and place the cups down. Nobara didn’t want to waste anymore time, she pulls you towards her so you could look above the box with her.

"Okay I’m going to open it in three, two, one."

She opens the box to reveal what’s inside. Both of you look at each other in shock. It was a box full of toys and they weren’t the kid friendly ones. You put your hand inside and pull out a pink silicone toy in the shape of a male body part. You couldn’t help but crack a smile at your friend.

"That disgusting monster!" She says in disbelief.

"Hey now, I’m sure he was going to tell you what it was before you stopped him." You say defending the man.

She rolls her eyes as she sits back down on the floor with her legs crossed. As she continued to pout you pull out some lube that was brand new and sealed. You quirk your brow as you read the flavor of the lube, popcorn… interesting.

"Common Nobara this isn’t bad at all! You don’t get laid enough so I think this could help you out." You tease.

"Ha Ha, very funny y/n" she stood up abruptly and started to walk away.

You furrow your brows as you turn to look at her. "Where are you going?" You ask

"I’m not intrested in this kind of stuff, you’ll probably use it well. Your man probably doesn’t satisfy you enough so have fun." She says throwing shade back. As she opens the door you see someone standing in the door way. Her jaw drops when she noticed it was Yuta.

Speak of the devil.

"Uh y/n … Yuta is here."

You quickly put everything back and kick the box on the floor behind you once you heard those words fall out her mouth. You had forgotten that he mentioned coming over today. You didn’t need him finding such things in your house, he’d get the wrong idea. You scramble to stand up with the glass of wine still in your hand. Taking a sip of your drink you run to the front door. To find him with a concerned look.

"You okay? You look pale." Yuta steps inside and holds your face to examine it.

You kindly put his hands down and assure him you’re fine. Your friend on the other hand had already made her escape. Seems like she didn’t want to be apart of what might happen in he finds the box.

Shutting the door behind him you watch him make his way to your couch. Maybe he would ignore the box. You had it closed so he wouldn’t open it right? He tends to respect your privacy after all.

You stood by the door watching him anxiously walk past the box. He took a seat and turned his attention to the tv that had drama playing. You sigh in relief seeing he had no interest in the box.

"You want some wine? Nobara didn’t even take a sip out of hers, it would be a waste." You say heading towards him.

"Yea I’ll drink it but could you please bring me some cheese and crackers? You know I cant have wine without them." He asks you nicely as he sat up from the couch to take a whiff of the wine.

You make your way in the kitchen and start making him his plate. While you did that you could hear him shuffling around, most likely getting comfortable. You couldn’t help but look over him a few times as you were occupied. Eventually you got fully focused on cutting the slices perfectly that you forgot to check on him. While cutting last bit of cheese you decide to look up but when you did the knife in your hand drops. Yuta was sitting on the couch with the box in his hands wide open.

He looked at you and the box back to back until he decided to place the box down to approach you. He had a concerned look on his face as he grabbed your hands.

"Am I not enough? You could told me this, no need to resort to that kind of stuff." He says with a sad tone.

You couldn’t help but stare blankly at him.

"N-no! Yuta you have the wrong idea. Nobara came over to drop thoes off so me and her could test them out." You say panicked.

You watch as his jaw drop from disbelief. Of course you worded it wrong. "Her friend owns a company and they have these new products! He needs a review before he drop it. Of course we’re not going to test them out together! Apart because we’re not like that."

He drops your hand feeling at ease with your answer.

"I’m relieved but you’re going to use these on your own? I doubt you would know how to use them." Yuta said as he walked to the box and pulled out a rose toy. Turning it in different directions so he could get a good look at the weird contraption.

"I’m more than capable of figuring it out." You roll your eyes.

He stalks back towards you as he held a wand vibrator in his hands. Bringing it near him mouth to use it as a microphone. "Two reviews are better than one." Yuta says as in the "mic" .

Putting the wand down next to the cutting board he pulls out the rose, clearly being interested in that one the most. He lifted you up and sat you on the counter you down on the counter. Pulled your night gown up as he tried to figure out how to turn on the flower.

Grabbing it from his hand you slowly direct your finger towards the power button so he could see. Once you pressed it, it started to vibrate in your hands letting out a humming noise. He quickly grabbed it to feel the vibration in his hands. A small smile appeared on his face as he put it against his hand.

"This has power." He says as he felt how strong and fast it was. Bring his hand down he tried to put it against your privates but you stopped him by covering the area.

"You’re not going to wash it first?" You looked at him.

He quickly turned on the faucet that was next to you and washed it with soap and water. He came back immediately to not ruin the mood. He then brings up the toy to his mouth and begins to lick it.

You were in disbelief from his actions. He was licking it and swirling his tongue on it as he pulled your panties to the side. He then pressed it on you once he was satisfied with the wet coat he had just created it. You jolt at the sudden vibration it created. You bite your cheek as you grab into his shoulder for support. You never really used something like this because there was no need. Yuta managed to satisfy your needs easily so this was entirely new to you.

Yuta would gradually go fast and faster until you were at your climax but this toy got to the point. It didn’t take long before your legs are shaking and your grip on him tightened. You begged him to not press it up your bran to hard but he didn’t listen. Instead he studied your facial expressions and mocked you when you would open your mouth from pleasure. Asking if you like this better than him.

You would shake your head but he didn’t stop. He was clearly trying to teach you some sort of lesson but it wasn’t getting quite through. Not even ten minutes passed and you were orgasming in his hand.

"Five stars" he says as he walks away.

While you try to catch your breath you find him Infront of you once again. You were surprised he came back so quickly. He saw your struggle to get down so he helped you down with one hand. You lean onto him as you try to regain your composure but he gave you little to no time as he bent you over the counter and shoved something in you.

You gasp at the sudden familiar feeling of being full. It wasn’t as filling as you were used to taking but it still felt amazing Turning back at him you see Yuta with an intrigued look. He pulled out the object out of you and slammed it back inside. You let out a loud cry from pleasure. He then pulls it in and out in a steady pace as he watched you squirm. You beg him to slow down In between moans.

You try to grip onto the counter as he pounded you with the toy. Hitting the right spot over and over again.

"This mouth was so hungry for something huh? Look at her drooling all over this toy." Yuta says as your juices run down his hand. You close your eyes out of embarrassment. Your legs loosing the will to support you in the process. Yuta was quick to catch you before you could fall.

He ended up paying on the couch While resting your body on his chest. You relaxed in his embrace until you felt the toy go back inside you. You look up at him with an annoyed look.

"What? We need to rate this toy. Won’t be possible until you finish." He kisses your head as continued were he left off. You grip his shirt as he started slamming the silicone toy in you. Body jolting everytime he dug it deep inside your body. Was he really planning on testing everything out on you? There was no way anyone could go through such a box. That’s at least twenty five orgasms in one go.

Another orgasm rippled through your body. You moan out his name as you grab his arm that was helping move the toy in and out of you.

"Seven, took you way too long to orgasm. Even I can do it in less time, it got the job done though. 3 stars."

"No more" you croak out in desperation.

"Why not? We just got started." Yuta sits you on you couch.

You pull your dress down with a flushed face.

"I can do the rest in my own with my own pace. Plus these toys are usually meant for self pleasure. It wouldn’t be fair to rate them together." You say hoping that wound stop him from continuing.

"Oh" he says "then masturbate with them."he says.

"I will, eventually." You say as you grab the toy Yuta was using as a microphone not too long ago.

"Do it right now, Infront of me." He tilts his head.

You look at him shocked.

"I couldn’t possibl-"

He grabs your hand with the toy and pushes it down there. You swallow hard as he looked into your eyes.

"I won’t touch you. I won’t bother you." He smiles as he sits on the couch opposite from you. "I’ll just sit here."

You bite your lip as he tells you to go on. You have no choice but to listen. Pulling your panties down you put your legs on the couch. Spreading them apart until he had a full view of everything. You watch as his hands roam on his pants. Caressing his member that rested under those pants.

Closing your eyes you turn on the device and put it on your bud. You let out a shameful moan out immediately because you were already so sensitive. You rubbed it up and down your area. Hips rolling back and forward from pleasure.

It felt so good but something was missing. You couldn’t think of what it could be. Maybe more of a stronger vibration? A faster speed? A better shape? Or maybe it was the man Infront of you.

You let out whimpers as you open your eyes too look at him. He was sitting down watching you pleasure yourself from afar. Eyes not looking away from you even for a second. You couldn’t help but wish for him to touch you and to do more.

"Yut-a" you flutter your eyes at him.

He tried his best not to respond since he said he wasn’t going to bother you but the look you were giving him made him turn on his words.

"Yes baby?" He asks.

"I want you to do it form me." You say.

Yutas leg jolted from excitement but he knew he shouldn’t. Still he stood up and approached you. Sitting on the floor right in front of you.

"Common baby you can do it." He says moving your hand a bit lower so you could get a better position on it. The small movement made a huge difference. You were now squirming like crazy. Legs twitching uncontrollably. All that came out your mouth now was your moaning and small profanity’s. Yutas name coming out time by time which he loved.

"Such a good girl, come for me no?"

He said as he kissed your thighs up and down, trying not to intervene too much. You cry out his name once more as you came. Body completely shutting down on you. Yuta was quick to move the toy out the way and bury his face in between your legs.

"Y-Yuta!?" You squeal

You tried to push him away but he was not moving until he decided he was. He ended up eating you out until he left you clean.

"Sorry I couldn’t help myself."

[marvelobsessed134]

Package delivered

A/n: Back again with more Nat smut because I love her and I am down bad soooo yeah enjoy!

Pairings: Masculine!Natasha Romanoff x Fem!reader

Warnings: smut, strap on use, degradation, rough sex, reader wears a maid outfit lol, dom!natasha, sub!reader, squirting, and I think that’s it let me know if I forgot any.

Summary: you and your girlfriends special package as arrived and you have some much needed fun.

It was just a normal afternoon in your small home in the outskirts of New York City when the doorbell rang. You told Nat you’d answer it, right when she was about to get up. The assassin’s eyes were trained on the screen since the New York Giants were playing against the Miami Dolphins. Of course, her being a big Giants fan she has to watch this. However you’re a Dolphins fan so the two of you butt heads all the time about what team is better but it’s all in good fun.

You’re not as invested as she is, you only picked the dolphins because of their name and the cute dolphin logo. You opened the door to find a medium sized cardboard box. Immediately you were filled with excitement and you felt your panties getting wet at the knowledge of what’s inside that box. You picked it up before closing and locking the door, skipping into the living room happily.

“Oh Natty…” you cooed. She looked at you, taking her eyes off the game before asking, “What is it, babe?”

You held the box in the air, “It’s here!”

You saw her eyes go darker and her demeanor shifting. “Oh, our special stuff is here?”

You nodded and jumped up and down before sitting on her lap, pecking her on the lips.

“Can we open it?” You asked.

“Sure, baby of course. Been waiting for this for months.” Long story short you and your girlfriend looked through a sex toy website and got a couple things. A couple sexy costumes for you and a strap for Natasha to wear. You’ve never really had experience with a strap but you’re definitely open to it.

The redhead used her pocket knife to cut through the tape and open the box. Inside were a bunch of packages for the costumes and she took them all out before quickly closing the box.

You furrowed your eyebrows.

“It’s a surprise, detka. There’s a reason I ordered this on my own.” She chuckled.

That made you more excited. You didn’t know what it looked like, how big it was…

Your eyes drifted down to the costumes. They consisted of,

A sexy maid

A sexy nurse

A sexy cop

And a sexy Harley Quinn outfit that was just labeled as a ‘Jester Girl’ to avoid copyright or whatever. The two of you love to act out cheesy porn scenarios and these are the perfect things to do it with. Minus the Harley one because Natasha is a big DC fan and just wants to see her girl in a Harley getup. Can you blame her?

“So, which one do I try on?” You asked.

Natasha scoped over the costumes before her eyes landed on the maid outfit. “This one for sure. You’d make a dirty little maid.”

You chuckled, “Okay. Should I go put it on now?”

“Oh yes please baby.” And with that you walked into your shared bedroom and put on the outfit. It has a short, black velvet skirt with white lace trim and a small apron, a matching crop top with puff sleeves and white detailing.

The skirt was short and you could see your white, cotton panties through them. Natasha loved when you wore white panties for some reason. Something about how innocent it looks.

You took a deep breath before walking out of the doorway and yelling, “Can I come out now?”

“Yes.” Nat called back and you walked down the hall and into the living room. Her eyes were immediately glued to your body and she bit her lip.

“Well, do you like it?” You asked, batting your eyelashes.

“Oh definitely. Give me a twirl baby.” She demanded and you did as you were told.

“Fuck.” She muttered under her breath.

“Nat, I know we’re supposed to do the whole roleplay thing but I’m so horny I need you now.” You whined.

The redhead looked amused at that, “Well then, you’ll be pleasantly surprised with my new cock.”

“Get down on your knees baby.” And you got on your knees, right in front of her crotch. You could see the bulge through her pants. You watched as she undid them before dropping them and her boxers off, revealing the pretty large strap. It was about 7 inches.

Eyes widening, you said, “I don’t know- how is this going to fit in me? I don’t know if I can take it.”

“Oh, you’ll take it. Now, are you gonna suck my dick or not?” So, you quickly got to work by first licking up to the top then taking the whole thing in your mouth. You began to suck her cock while she was sitting back still watching the game.

“Yeah, let’s go!” She cheered.

“Natty?” You asked. You wanted to see if she was enjoying this too. Not just you.

“No talking, slut. Suck my cock.” The Russian said sternly. Your lips parted in shock before obeying her. Fuck, you loved sucking it. It got you even wetter than before.

You moved your head all the way down, taking it at the back of your throat which made you gag. “Oh yeah, look at you choke on my cock.” She smirked.

After awhile, your jaw was tired and Natasha could tell so she grabbed your hair and pulled your head up. She saw the drool dripping from your mouth down to your breasts and the string of saliva connecting you with the strap.

“Tsk, such a dirty maid. Come on up here and lay down for me.”

You laid on the couch and your girlfriend pulled your panties down. “Looks like someone made a mess.” She chuckled before diving into your pussy, eating you out like you were her last meal.

“Oh! Oh god!” You moaned.

Her tongue flicked on your clit before going back in between your folds. “Mmm Nat.” You moaned again before feeling you coming closer and closer to your finish.

“You’re close, I can feel it, cum for me sweetheart.” And you did, crying out.

“Good girl. Hm, you think you’re ready for my dick?”

You nodded furiously.

“Hmmm I don’t know, this pussy’s pretty tight.” She teased as she started to slowly pump two fingers in and out of you.

“No, please, I can take it. I want your big cock so bad.” You moaned desperately.

So, she lined up to your entrance before pushing in. Your eyes rolled back, you whimpered as you felt it stretch your walls.

“Fuck you’re so so tight,” The assassin groaned before starting to thrust into you.

Your brows furrowed and you gripped onto her shoulders. “Mmm faster.”

“What do we say?”

“Please.”

“You want me to go faster baby? I’ll show you faster.” And she quickened her pace, now pounding into you without mercy.

“Yes! Yes! Oh yes!” You cried.

“Oh my god you’re so beautiful.”

“I love you natty.”

“Fuck, I love you too Y/n.”

And as she kept hitting your g spot you clenched around her before squirting all over the toy and the leather couch.

“Holy fuck that’s hot. I didn’t know you were a squirter.” She pulled her strap out before licking up everything. Then, she forced you on your knees again.

“For a maid, you’ve made quite the mess. Clean it up.” Natasha demanded and you sucked her cock once again, licking up your own cum and arousal.

The redhead leaned back, wiping some sweat from her forehead. “Fucking love this day.”

[ramblingoak]

Care Package

Papa Emeritus IV x GN Reader ~ You take care of Copia after he gets sick at the end of the tour

Warnings: Copia being dramatic while sick, fluff, sfw, 1k words, not proofread forgive me

“I’m dying.”

Here we go.  It was a good thing your back was turned because Copia would pitch a fit if he saw you rolling your eyes.  You sighed and continued to pick up all of the used tissues that were littering the floor.  When he let out a pitiful sigh you groaned, turning your head to glare at him.

“Copia, you’re fine.”

“No, no this is it.  I can feel it.”  You bit your lip to stifle the laugh that wanted to bubble out.  Copia was endlessly dramatic whenever he was under the weather.  “It’s near.”

“What’s near?”

“Death.”

“Oh Lucifer, you’re not going to die from a cold.”  He started to respond but was immediately interrupted by a series of violent sneezes, the whole bed shaking from the force of them.  You turned back to the dirty tissues, shoving them into a trash bag while he recovered.  The sound of him blowing his nose filled the room and right when you were turning to check on him again a wet, balled up tissue hit you right in the face.  “Son of a fuck!  Copia!”

“Eh?”  His adorably confused look stopped you from leaping onto the bed and strangling him, but just barely.  The sight of his red, watery eyes made your irritation disappear.  His face was flushed from the fever and sweaty locks of hair had fallen across his forehead.  When Copia realized you were staring at him he groaned and threw his arm over his face.  “You shouldn’t see me like this.”

“Like what?”  You dropped the trash bag and grabbed another box of tissues, slowly walking around the bed to sit by his hip.  He whined when you tugged on his arm so you could see his face.  “Hey, like what?”

“Pathetic.”  You cooed at him, reaching out to brush his hair back.  He sighed when you placed your cool hand on his forehead.  “Weak and old.  Hideous.” 

“Well, this is all true bu–”

“Dolcezza!”  Copia’s voice broke while he whined and he was overcome with a fit of coughing.  You helped turn him so he was coughing away from you, rubbing his back as they came to an end.  “Ugh, why are you here?”

“Someone has to take care of you.”

“You’re going to get sick too.”  He rolled back over on his back with a groan.  “I don’t want you to catch this.”

“I’ll just have to risk it.”  You smoothed his hair out again, giving him a soft smile when he met your eyes.  “I want to take care of you, Copia.”

“Fine, fine.  Twist my arm.”  He managed a weak smile and you resisted the urge to lean down and kiss him.  “Thank you, amore.”

“You’re welcome, Papa.”  You reached towards his night stand and grabbed the damp cloth you had set there earlier.  Copia let out a relieved sigh when you wiped the sweat off his face.  “Now, I’m going to clean you up a bit and then you’ll need to eat something before you take any more medicine.”

“I couldn’t possib–”

“It's homemade chicken noodle soup.”

You laughed when he grabbed your hand, his eyes lighting up at your words.

“Did Secondo make it?”

“Yes, your brothers gave me a care package for you.”  Copia sniffled a bit and you let him pretend it was from his cold.  You got up to grab the laundry basket Terzo had given you and brought it over to the bed, setting it at Copia’s feet so you could show him everything inside.  “Your ghouls also added a few things.”

“Anything good?”

“Primo gave me a salve I’m supposed to rub on your chest.”  You shook her head at him when he waggled his eyebrows.  Even when feverish he couldn’t help himself.  “And Terzo added a book and these penis shaped hard candies for your throat.”

“Where does he find this stuff?”  Copia made grabby hands for the candies and you tossed them over.  He opened the bag quickly, popping one into his mouth and smiling around it.  “These aren’t bad though, what book is it?” 

“The Hobbit.”  His eyes immediately started watering and you frowned.  “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing.  He used to read that to me when we were kids.”  Copia cleared his throat and smiled.  “What did the ghouls send?”

“Um, Phantom knit you a sweater but he ran out of yarn so it’s missing a sleeve.”  You held up the bright blue monstrosity that the quintessence ghoul had proudly shoved into your hands that morning.  “Other than that you got some eucalyptus candles and tea, a few crossword puzzle books and Aurora is letting you borrow her box set of all the Halloween movies.”

Copia’s face lit up at the last item, both he and the ghoulette had bonded over an intense love for slasher movies.  You laid the sweater over his chest and handed him the dvd’s then busied yourself putting the basket away and setting the candles around the room while you both pretended he wasn’t crying.  After he blew his nose a few times you wandered back over, the book from Terzo in your hands.  Copia yawned and settled back into his pillows while you fussed over him, helping him get comfortable.

“Will you read to me, amore?”  You wanted to get him to eat some soup first, but rest would be good for him as well.  As carefully as possible you got up on the bed and sat next to him, smiling when he scooted closer and rested his head against your thigh.  “Just until I fall asleep.”

“Whatever you need, Copia.  I’ll be right here.”  His breath was already evening out, his body going limp as you ran your fingers through his hair.  You quietly opened the book in your lap, taking a few seconds to watch him before you started to read.  “In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit…” 

If you'd like to be added/removed from the tag list (or if I accidentally left your name off) of this fic or any of my others please leave a comment or send me a dm! Thank you! Also if you'd prefer to only be tagged in my reader insert stuff that's ok! Feel free to let me know!

My Masterlist ~ My Archive of our Own ~ My Ko-Fi Tip Jar

[damiansgoodgirll]

imagine being jey uso girlfriend and finding out you’re pregnant, how would he react?

this is so cute!

are you pregnant?

you’ve been sick for over a week but you couldn’t understand what was wrong with you. it started as a simple stomach ache but from day to day it got worse, especially in the morning.

you woke up nauseous and even if you were hungry you couldn’t eat anything, even the smell of food made you sick.

one morning you texted your best friend telling her that you had to cancel breakfast with her because you kept feeling sick. of course she understood but something started growing inside of her mind and that’s how you found yourself being stuck in your home with your best friend at 9 am.

“i got something for you” she said making her self comfortable on the couch. you were lucky jey was training otherwise he would have scolded her for the lack of good manners.

“what did you get?” you asked her before she handed you the package.

“open and you’ll see” she smiled.

you were speechless when you saw the pregnancy test in the little box.

“why did you get me a pregnancy test?”

“because i’m pretty sure you’re pregnant…the morning sickness, the nausea? c’mon, connect the dots, plus you told me your period is late this month…” she said and everything that came out from her mouth started making sense.

“oh fuck…”

“okay before you panic you better take the test…go girl, i’ll be waiting for you!” she gave you a warm smile before you went to the bathroom.

you did everything you had to in order to take the test and now you waiting, sat on the cold marble floor of your bathroom.

positive

you were fucked.

your best friend knocked on your door when she saw you wouldn’t come out.

“honey? are you okay?” she asked a bit worried.

“can you come in please?”

when she saw you sat on the floor she immediately joined you, probably knowing the answer to the test.

“how am i going to tell jey?” you asked her “we’ve never talked about kids…i’m not even sure if he wants to have kids, you know with everything that’s going on with his work” you started panicking.

“just tell him in the most rational way, like two adults. no surprises and no video for tiktok” she joked “but seriously, just be you…”

“okay…”

“and whatever happens you know i’ll always be here for you” your best friend said. you thanked her and walked her to the door. it was only you and your thoughts now.

you were impatiently waiting for jey to come back home from training and after lunch time he came back home.

“hey babe” he greeted you with his big smile and wrapped you in a big hug.

“hi…” you smiled but he immediately knew something was off.

“is everything okay love?” he asked.

“can we talk?” you asked without answering his question.

“sure…” he got worried, you never acted like this.

once you were both on the couch you weren’t sure how you were going to tell him that you were pregnant.

“okay so…there’s something i need to tell you but i don’t know how you’re going to react so…” you started saying.

“baby are you okay? are you hurt? did something happened?” he immediately got worried.

“i’m not hurt i promise but something definitely happened…jey give me your hands” you said and brought his hands into your smaller ones “there’s a thing…we’ve never really talked about it but it happened” you whispered the last part while his eyes were focused on your face “i’m pregnant” you said, the bomb was out.

“you - what?” he was shocked.

“i’m pregnant jey…”

“this means? it’s mine right? i mean of course it is but - we’re having a baby?” he was thrilled. you thought he was going to be mad or something because in this past year of relationship you’ve never discussed on starting a family so his reaction surprised you.

“yes baby, we’re gonna be parents…” your eyes full of tears of joy when you saw his face. he was crying and looking at your belly, already thinking about the life inside of you.

“i can’t believe we’re gonna be parents, this is the best thing ever” he said touching your belly “i know you’re the size of a popcorn right now but i want you to know that you’re already so loved, mom and dad can’t wait to meet you love” he talked to your belly and that made you cry harder.

of course your baby was going to be loved, jey was the best man you could have by your side and now thinking about the fact that he was going to be the father of your baby made you feel complete, you had the perfect man to grow a family with.

[stars-o]

〖𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙲𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝙷𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚎�� 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝟸��

《Yandere Cove Holden x Female Reader》

Alright here’s part two! Here are a few things I must say before you can read. Steps 3 and 4 WILL have some smut scenes and in case anyone forgot, you’re both 18 in Step 3 and 23 in Step 4 in the game. 

And one more thing, I am not good at explaining sex scenes so please have mercy if those bits suck ass then part 1 lol. Tips and advice would be greatly appreciated though!

Tags: masturbation involved so PLZ MDNI 18+

︻︻︻︻︻︻

Step 3:

♡ Ahh, the end of high school is here, you’re both 18, and sooner or later if Cove doesn’t make ANY moves on you, he’ll surely lose his grasp on you. While it angers him to be away from you during the summer, he enjoys reading the letters you’ve written for him or any care packages you had sent. He’s missed you so much. Cove’s become...desperate for anything. 

♡ Locked in his old childhood room that he’s stayed at during his daily summer visits to his mom’s place, he pulls out one of your recently worn pair of panties. Well, before his trip to his mom’s, he might or might not have stolen one of your panties. But don’t worry! He’ll return it... after he washes it. Cove knows this is wrong. To shamelessly pleasure himself using one a pair of your panties. But he can’t help himself. Cove misses your smell. Your natural smell brings him both pleasure and comfort. Reminding him of moments you both had. cough there’s too many to count cough

The sound of whimpering and soft groans echoed the empty apartment, pleas and repeated ‘fuckfuckfuck’s came from one room. There in the room clothes were thrown wherever as Cove sat on his bed; legs wide open, heels digging into the mattress as he hungrily pumps his throbbing cock into his fist. His other hand had your lacy panties that he had stolen from you before leaving, nose buried into the soft fabric, inhaling your scent.

“M-miss you! want you so b-ah!” Cove whines, surprised at his own actions, hips jerking upward as his cum-covered fingers slide up to his chest to pinch and pull at his pink nipples. With the stimulation it was enough for Cove to let out a high pitch moan as he came all over his stomach for the nth time. 

Panting, Cove removes the underwear from his face to inspect the mess, or messes, he left. “Holy shit...” He moaned, gathering cum around his fingers. A sudden ping catches his attention. He sees the notification pop up with his special nickname for you

     Mine ♥ : 𝗁𝖾𝗒!! 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖿𝗋𝖾𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝖼𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗋𝗇??

Cove bites his lip at the thought of hearing your sweet voice after a few sessions. One coming up as beads of precum leak from his red, throbbing tip. His eyes glancing at the time on his phone. 8 PM. His mom doesn’t come home for another few hours, he has plenty of time for another round or a few. And the best part, you’ll be helping him! Though you won’t know. 

With that set, he shakily presses his thumb onto the phone icon. Cove wraps your underwear around his, now hard, cock, and waits for to you to answer his call. 

♡ Cove has been running on countless ideas on what he needs to do to make you official and that’s when the gods and goddesses have answered him. He’ll ask you to accompany him to the ORCA fundraising diner. Of course you said yes because why wouldn’t you? He has so many plans on confessing to you tonight and tonight can’t go wrong. 

♡ It’s finally the fundraising diner, he’s outside looking into your window, waiting impatiently so he could be near you again, touch you. The diner starts in 30 minutes and he’s been waiting for you for 13. Cove paced around his car to hold himself back from crawling through your window and pulling you into a passionate kiss and proclaim his love for you. But for now, he’ll wait to confess. Deep down, Cove knows he doesn’t have the nerves to actually do that.

♡ After waiting forever, you finally make your way outside to Cove’s car, your dress hugging your curves perfectly. Cove’s eyes stayed glued onto you as you rushed over to him, hair flowing behind you, your perfume assaulting his senses. He could feel his face heat up when he noticed a shiny piece of jewelry hugging your ankle. An anklet. Oh fuck. What would he give to bend you over his car hood and fuck you senselessly. 

♡ Maybe coming to the fundraiser with you was a bad idea, all the looks you’ve been receiving from these... disgusting animals almost makes him want to leave. But it’ll all be worth it in the end. You both had your food and desserts and are currently on the dance floor. Busting it down  Arms wrapped around each other, chest pressed snuggly, it’s like a puzzle piece. Cove has known for a long time that you’re made for each other.

♡ Finally! Finally FINALLY! It was time! the event ended with you enjoying yourself and having a good time with Cove but now it was time for the main event. He’s shitting bricks but he needs to do this. He needs to claim you as his, it’ll only be temporarily. Maybe in the next few years, Cove could give you his last name...

𓆩⟡𓆪

Step 4:

♡ He’s done it. 5 years ago, he confessed his feelings to you after the fundraiser and you accepted his confession. Now, at 23, you both been living together after Cove asked you to move in with him at 20. Even though he wanted to you to move in with him as soon as possible after telling both your families that he’s been looking into moving out. He almost cried in frustration when you declined, stating that you both should wait awhile before jumping the gun. 

♡ Living with Cove has been amazing. Ever since he’s gotten more comfortable sleeping in the same bed as you, he’s been nothing but a cuddle bug. Make the slightest movement to adjust your sleeping position or use the bathroom, he always wake up and waits for you to come back so he could wrap his arms around your waist and sleep soundly. He can’t afford to be separated from you after chasing you for so long. 

♡ After living together for 3 years, you’ve had sex a few times. But those few times always leave you fucked out and twitching uncontrollably and they always last up to 2 rounds, 3 if Cove’s feeling extra possessive. Speaking about how often you both are busting it down, if Cove could, he would’ve made your love making life into something more wild and kinkier. You sitting on his face as he overstimulates your throbbing clit as you suffocate him with your plush thighs, Cove shoving his tongue into your pussy while you sleep soundly above him, grinding his hard cock against your thighs as he pins you against the cold sand as he begs you to allow him to fuck you in the empty beach, etc. This guy’s a beast! But luckily for you, or not if you’re into those things, Cove’s shyness stops him from expressing those thoughts to you. 

“P-please!” Cove sobbed, grinding his weeping cock against your thighs, spreading precum all over you and your swimsuit. Head buried in your neck as you wrapped your arms around Cove’s shoulders, moaning as his tip repeatedly bumped into your clit. 

“ I wan’ fuck you, wan’ fuck you so badly, please..!”  He kisses your neck, hands wondering all over you. 

Cove

More whimpering came from Cove as he started grinding faster, the knot in his stomach threatening to break the faster he went. 

“Fuck! ‘m gonna..! gonna cum!” 

Cove!

Cove arches his back as he came in his boxers, the crotch of his sweatpants darkening. Whimpering escaped Cove’s lips as he gave a few more thrusts to the air before opening his eyes.

“W-what?” he gasps, now realizing what happened. He was in a wet dream and you woke him up.

“Man that must’ve been an intense dream,” You murmured in concern, rubbing his shoulders. ‘Good,’ Cove thought, a sigh of relief escapes his lips. He didn’t want you to figure that it was a wet dream instead. 

“Y-yeah...” Sitting up, Cove covers his crotch with the blanket he was sleeping with. It smelled like you. “It was...really intense.”

♡ Now onto the fun part, the promise he made to himself before confessing to you. To propose to you. To become your husband. And what better way to propose to you then back at your childhood home on your favorite hill. Cove bought the ring months ago and made sure to bring it with him as he left to go back to Sunset Bird for your Moms’ dinner anniversary. The ring weighed down on his mind as he nervously awaits your arrival.

♡ When you arrive, you’ve noticed at Cove’s nervous attitude, always stuttering around you, greenish blue eyes fluttering away from your confused ones. Normally, he loved talking to you, making eye contact with you, but now, he’s back to his 13 year old self, way before you started dating. Cove tries his hardest to not make it obvious but it doesn’t help when his parents and your question if he was alright. With Cove’s confusing personality switch, he always makes it up to you by cuddling you tightly when you sleep. 

♡ Time skip to everyone at his father’s house, when his mom mentions a showcase of Cove’s baby photos, you light up with glee at the thought of baby cove. Cove notices this and your comment about him in his onesie, makes him think about having children with you. His cheeks flare up as he imagined a mini you just running around the house as he cradled a mini him in his arms as you peck his cheek. Now he’s even more determined to make that dream come true. 

The sound of crickets echoed through the air, the fireflies and the moon lighting up the small town of Sunset Bird on a warm summer night. Cove had brought you to your favorite hill covered in poppies, where you both first met 15 years ago. During this whole trip back, you’ve been worried about Cove’s sudden nervous behavior but waited until he opened up to you about what was on his mind. 

“(Y/N)…” Cove began, voice wobbly. You let out a hum in acknowledgment as you await him to continue. 

There was a slight pause. You tilt your head as Cove softly cupped your hands into his. Cove falls to his knees, grunting at the impact before fixing himself into the correct position. One knee up, the other kneeling. He hasn’t looked at you yet in fear he might get overwhelmed and chicken out. But his determination of having a family with you, gets him ignore his fears. So with a deep breath, Cove whips his head up to stare into your eyes with his determined ones. 

“You-you... have always been there for me... through thick and thin. Defending me from b-bullies left and right.” He began, voice cracking here and there as his eyes become misty. 

Noticing where this was going, your eyes also become misty, a smile painted on your face.  "A-and I wouldn’t have it any other way. You are the missing piece of me I thought I had lost a long time ago.” 

More silence as Cove’s collects himself for the golden question.

“(Y/N) (L/N), will you marry me?”

                                          ︼︼︼︼︼︼

A/N: I am FINALLY done!! Once again SO SORRY for disappearing for like 2 months. 

[laylajeffany]

targeted ad - microfic

Wednesday stepped into her shared bedroom after the sun had set one evening, finding Enid holding out a little blue bag with orange drawstrings. She wore a beam of a smile so big, it practically hurt Wednesday’s eyes as much as the offensive color scheme of the package clashing with her overly printed sweater.

“Finally, you’re back! I saw this on Insta, and I know you’ll think this is totally lame and not your thing, but it’s also - fully you.”

Wednesday tried not to wrinkle her nose. “I believe we’ve spoken about you giving in to targeted advertisements on my behalf. You have to stop allowing corporations to get the best of you, Enid. The American dollar is worth less every day, partially due to the over consumption of cheap goods manufactured overseas.”

Rolling her eyes, Enid pulled open the strings of the bag, still wearing a smirk. “These aren’t cheap, okay? And yes, it was targeted at me, for you, and I’m aware I’m playing capitalist games, or whatever,” She said in Wednesday’s classic deadpan voice. “But this one got me right through the heart and I couldn’t help myself. You only accept dead-accurate shots. So, reach in!”

Giving her own eyes a spin, Wednesday placed her backpack on Enid’s colorful quilt on her bed and closed her eyes, reaching into the bag. Her fingers gripped around something surprisingly soft and squishy. Pulling it out, she stared harshly at a six-inch wide plush raincloud, with a severe frown stitched onto it with a face and…feet.

“Isn’t it so cute!? And what totally sold it – guess what the name of it is?”

“Sunny,” Wednesday quipped flatly.

“Amuseable Storm Cloud! That’s what your dad calls you sometimes!”

“I can’t say I find it amusing,” She grumbled, placing it flat on her palm, taking in how the legs sort of dangled over the edge while it pouted.  

“Well, I think it’s very fitting. Thing likes it!”

The hand gave a thumb up from where he appeared over Enid’s shoulder. Enid picked it up the plush with a little squeak of a sound, squishing the sides of it together before holding it up next to Wednesday’s face, giving a delighted nod. “Yup – as I expected. You’re twins.”

“The doctor said I ate mine in the womb,” Wednesday argued.

Enid continued to glow, skipping across the floor and putting it on a shelf next to one of Wednesday’s taxidermized squirrels. “Not your usual sort of stuffed creature, but for sure – less likely to decompose.”

“I’m very good at my craft. You don’t know what chemicals they put in the polyester stuffing. No doubt some sort of acidic compound that could burn through your skin and lead to necrosis. I’d argue that’s worse than decomposition of the dead.”

“Sounds like a Wednesday Addams personal challenge,” Enid teased, bringing the stuffed storm cloud back and waving it in front of Wednesday’s face. “Give it a hug – see if it causes you to burn from inside to outside!”

When she didn’t move a muscle, Enid carried on, “Unless, of course – you’re scared to hug a plushie. I get it. Very intimidating to show such vulnerability in the privacy of your own room.”

Without betraying a single movement of her face, Wednesday reached out, squished the plush creature to her chest, then threw it across the room when Thing snapped a picture of the moment on one of Wednesday’s old timey cameras and the flash went off.

Enid chastised him and picked it up as Wednesday sat herself at her desk, pretending not to be any further fazed. Enid sat the plush beside her typewriter and slid a hug over Wednesday’s shoulders, holding on for about ten seconds. Just when Wednesday felt her about to pull up, she lifted a hand, clutching her arms together over them before turning her face upside down to look at Enid – where her frown would be a smile.

“Thank you for thinking of me.”

“Always, Storm Cloud.”

X

Black Menagerie Update coming tomorrow  | buy your own Amuseable Jellycat Storm Cloud here

[experimentfae]

Valentine day special

Hazbin hotel x reader

Oneshot / fluff

⁎⁺˳ ✧༚ ˎˊ˗ ♡ ˗ˏˋയ ✩

Today is the holiday most people love it some hate it or some just don’t care for it plain and simple. Hell you didn’t even think you were going to get anything this holiday.

You were used to wallowing into romance movies and chocolate by yourself but turns out fate had other plans for you, pleasantly surprising plans.

You heard a knock on a door “(y/n) it’s me Charlie I wanted to let you know that you got a package.” This made you raise your brow “I didn’t buy anything.” You got up and opened the door to see Charlie holding your package for you.

“Are you sure it has this address and it says for (y/n).” She then gasped “maybe it’s a secret admirer!” She smiled which made you laughed at the thought “Me getting a valentine?! Ha no way, as to be some prank.” “Who would do that?” Charlie questioned the only demons you could think who would do this is alastor or Angel to fuck around with you.

“I have two demons in mind.” She then shrugged her shoulders “oh but speaking of valentines gifts, this is yours.” She handed you a little heart box that filled with chocolate no doubt “thanks Charlie.” Smiled back “it’s from me and vaggie, we are heading out for a romantic dinner non of you wait up on us.” You nodded “have a good time you two.” “Thanks (y/n) have a great valentine day as well.”

She walked away then you said to yourself “as if I could get a nice one, most of them are mundane for me.” “Wow that sucks.” This made you jump to see Angel dust “Angel you gotta warn a demon when you do that.” This only made him laugh “but it’s funny as hell and besides, what you got there hun.” Huh, ‘hun’ that’s new “I’m not sure I think someone’s messing with me, it’s not you Is it?”

“Nope.” hmmm “are you lying?” This confused him “why the fuck would I need to lie about that?” Actually that’s a good point “fair, alright let’s find out I guess.” You knew he wanted to see so you let the door open knowing he let himself in.

“Hmm gotta clean in here.” You rolled your eyes “I’ll do it later not like anyone else is coming here or Niffty does it.” You opened the box to see a Vox tech item? “Voxtech?” This surprised him as well “weird it’s a Valentine’s Day special one.” That’s true the tech was pink, red and hints of blue on them I instead of the usual black and blue.

Then you noticed that there is a love potion a collaboration between Valentino and Velvette, Angel seemed to notice two and got a angry look on his face “I can’t believe these motherfuckers.” he growled out.

“What do you mean?” You asked he huffed out “just don’t go near them ok?” You nodded your head immediately you’re not gonna question Angel he would know more than anyone how these guys work. “Wait does that- just then alastor interrupted you two by knocking on the open door.

“I know open but I- he stopped himself when he saw the Vox tech in the box “darling I didn’t take you for having poor taste in entertainment.” This made you laugh “naw someone gifted this to me, I thought it was you or Angel but YOU buying Vox tech is impossible even if it is to mess with someone, also the love potion.

Just then alastor halted at the box then he snapped his fingers and the box was gone you assumed he threw it in the garbage “here’s a REAL valentines gift.” Alastor boasted as he brought out flowers and a Heart shaped box but instead of chocolate you saw it was meat a giant meant shaped like a heart.

“Wow thanks alastor I’m surprised you got anyone anything but, did you get that from the cannibal colony?” One thing you knew about yourself is that you’re not a cannibal but alastor was a different story “why yes it is this one meat was a sinner named frank.” This both made you and Angel dust give him a wtf look.

“Um I appreciate the flowers but I think you’ll enjoy the meat more then a I do.” He seems to remember that I’m not a cannibal “right I forgot you don’t enjoy demon meat I’ll give you something else then.” He snapped his fingers again and instead there is a mug with a cheesy valentine dad joke.

“That’s sweet thanks.” You took the flower and mug.” He smiled wider “then Angel interrupted yeah, yeah, here’s your thing hun.” He handed you a pink mouth gag and a pink whip “I… what.” He smirked “well come on you gotta admit it’s perfect for this holiday.” He gave a wink, You continued to look confused while alastor look disgusted.

“Um thank you Angel.” You smiled nervously you put both of their valentines gifts away. “Yep and happy valentine times day.” He smiled and looked back at his phone walking away “happy v-day as well Angel.” “Happy Valentine’s Day my dear.” Spoke alastor “you as well alastor.” You smiled as he left to do whatever he does in his spare time.

You were surprised that anyone thought to get you anything especially alastor what was his end game and you couldn’t but your finger around why Vox, Valentino and velvet would sent you anything never had a conversation with them.

You went out of your room and went into the kitchen planning to get a snack. Maybe some cookies you saw in a jar but before you could grab the treat you felt someone poke your shoulder. You looked over to see sir pentious seeming to be nervous.

“I I umm g… just take it! goodbye!” He slithers away in a hurry “wait sir pentious?!” You looked to see a red box with a black bow “again? How?” You opened to see a projector “wow this is the best one actually, too bad I probably won’t be able to thank him properly.” You looked to see a card with it as well inside, you saw it was a poem painfully romantic one.

“Sir pentious has a thing for me?!” You questioned yourself “wow I what am I gonna- just then a text from your phone interrupted you. You looked to see you got invited to a group chat called 3V, you immediately knew who it was it’s not a hard guess.

You joined just to see why they sent that stuff Velvette:[did you like your gift cutie?] You:[why did you guys give me those?] Val:[Why not baby? Your too hot to not be spoiled] Vox:[exactly, but hoe you loving your new tech?] You:[tbh I firing get to try any of your guys stuff alastor threw them out] Vox:[fucking knew that radioshit would do that know worry I’ll get you another] Val:[no worry baby I’ll get you sex toys this time you’ll able to do more with that] You:[no worry I’ll be fine without those stuff got a working phone already and I don’t want that sex stuff to be honest] Velvette:[at least can I get a trending outfit for you?] You:[alright that seems pretty good thx and happy Valentine’s Day<3]

They also texted you happy Valentine’s Day and you went back to getting your cookie you carried your gift and cookie to the bar, to talk to husk. “Husk there you are, how are you?” He looked towards you “meh as usual.” “Yeah that’s how I felt when I woke up until everyone started to give me gifts, which is weird.”

He looked to see the box you’re holding “guess so but speaking of Valentine’s Day gifts here ya go.” He handed you a gift too?! You took the bag to see it was a favorite color wine glass “wow husk this is nice, you going soft on me?” He glared at you “no just doing what you’re supposed to do for the holiday or whatever.” He blushed looking away “yeah sure.” You smirked.

“I feel like a jerk tho I got nobody anything but everyone got me something.” You stated he shrugged his shoulders “it’s fine what I really want is alone time.” He replied with very little card but your own words gave you an idea.

“I’ll be right back!” You ran back to your room got your wallet, phone and keys and left before husk can say anything back.

3 hours later

You thankfully found gifts for everyone that was in my our budget as well felt like a miracle except for the 3Vs you’re pretty sure they got everything they need, especially Val your not even gonna try for that guy.

You brought each of the gifts to everyone, they all loved it, funny a holiday you never cared for became the same holiday that made you realize how important you are to everyone and how important they are too you as well.

Happy Valentine’s Day <3

<- Back to MasterList or back to hazbin hotel

[written-in-flowers]

Kimura Delivery Service: Pt. 1

Pairing: OC x S.W.O.R.D leaders (yes, you read that right)

Genre: smut, fluff, angst,

Word Count: 9k

Fandom: High & Low: The Story of S.W.O.R.D

Summary: After a life of swinging her fists, Sakyia is hopeful about her easy going job of delivering packages…However, her aunt neglected to mention the “regulars”: The gang leaders of S.W.O.R.D. and the undeniable affection they all grow to have for her.

Overall Warnings: blood and violence, fighting, gang activity, crime, mentions of death, multiple relationships, girlboss being a girlboss, not really ‘poly’ but girl has a string of lovers.

Prologue < | > Part 2

Tagged: @belle643

Chapter 1: S is for Sannoh Hoodlum Squad

The apartment above the store was smaller than her old home, but it looked cozy. Even with the old furniture, chipped wallpaper and musty carpet underneath her feet, she felt a sense of warmth throughout the room. Looking around, they’d certainly have to fix it up to be comfortable. With a separate bedroom on the side, the bathroom remained the only other room. She figured her and her mother would be sharing a room until they could afford a bigger place. She didn’t mind. It was better than having no bed at all. She opened a window to let out the stuffy air, and saw the spectacular view…

A small courtyard and the opposite building behind them. 

When her mother and aunt came back up, Sakyia noticed they’d brought two young men with them. One was tall with long black dreadlocks, and his companion was darker and shorter. She guessed these were Junpei’s friends. The boy with the dreadlocks smiled when he saw her, then nudged his friend, who also grinned. 

“Sakyia,” Hana said, “I’d like you to meet Tettsu,” the tall one waved, “And Dan,” the short one bowed slightly. “They come and help me from time to time.”

“Because Junpei tells them too.”

“Cobra doesn’t force us to do anything,” Tettsu immediately said, placing down one of their boxes. “We’re always here for our neighborhood. It’s what Sannoh Hoodlum Squad is about: protecting and caring for the town.”

She tried to stifle a laugh, “Sannoh Hoodlum Squad? That’s your gang’s name?” It wasn’t the worst name she’d ever heard. 

“Yeah,” he replied. “Cobra is our leader.”

“His nickname is ‘Cobra’?” she snickered, picking up the box of kitchen items. “It would be.” 

“Sakyia!” Midori furrowed her brow, “Stop being rude.”

“I’m not being rude,” she put it on the counter, giggling softly, “Just voicing an opinion. You told me Sannoh is a good place to live.”

“It is,” Dan told her reassuringly. “You’ll see once you’re settled in. Sannoh Hoodlum Squad isn’t like the ones you’re probably used to seeing. We take care of our people.”

“You can come to the diner and see for yourself,” Tettsu suggested. “It’s called the Itokan Diner.”

“Ooh! That sounds nice!” Midori said. “Is it a new place? I haven’t been home in such a long time; everything’s changed around here.”

The pair began explaining it to her as Sakyia helped unload the car downstairs. They seemed nice, but most gangsters did. However, looking them both over, and listening to them talk, they did not seem the type to be in gangs. They were friendly and helpful to her aunt, who appreciated them enough to offer rice balls the next time they came. They didn’t brag or flaunt any fancy things they’d bought. Should she have passed them in the street, they’d appear like any normal youths. Sakyia knew more than most that appearances can be deceiving. She decided she’d leave her judgment for more contemplative hours; she had work to do. 

Sakyia spent the rest of the day putting things away and trying to make something of a home in the apartment. She made shelf space for her art supplies and books; her mother brought small potted plants to place along the window sill for some life. Family photos went on shelves and walls; they’d put her father’s remains in an ornate wooden box on the bedroom dresser. By the time they’d finished, night fell and the apartment seemed less empty and shabby. 

“We need food,” her mother frowned when she saw the empty fridge. “I’ll order take out for tonight. Burgers, Blossom?” 

“I guess,” she shrugged. 

“Don’t get burgers,” Hana said, unpacking the last kitchen box. “There’s a perfectly good diner down from here that serves way better food.”

“That diner your friends mentioned?” asked Sakyia. 

“You’ll love their food,” she insisted. “Naomi is such a great cook, and the prices are reasonable.” Midori looked at Sakyia with raised eyebrows, and Sakyia shrugged again. They turned to Hana who nodded, “I’ll place the order. Sakyia can go pick it up. You can walk there, it’s not too far.”

“Ugh, Auntie,” she groaned, plopping onto the couch. She let her body sink into it as she said, “I’m so tired. Can’t they deliver?”

“They don’t do that,” Hana replied. “Stop being lazy. You’re young. Besides, Junpei might be there.”

“Um okay, so?”

She caught her mother and her aunt looking at one another. She groaned and let her head fall back on the couch. It was inevitable that this would come up: Cobra was a young man. Sakyia was a young woman, new in town. “He’s a man of few words, but he’s very nice-” Hana began, but Sakyia cut her off. 

“-I literally just arrived,” she said. “I’m not looking for a boyfriend. I’m looking to sit down and never get back up again.”

“We weren’t thinking that at all,” her mother said unconvincingly. She grabbed a bottle of wine that Hana brought, and said, “Your aunt was telling us what a nice young man Junpei is, that’s all.”

“Mh-hm, your mom keeps complaining to me about how you’re always at home, you don’t go to school, you don’t have a lot of friends-”

“-Well, I wasn’t really in a place to make any friends.”

No, she hadn’t been. Yes, there’d been fighters she became friendly with in the warehouse, but nobody she saw outside of the place. Twelve years fighting on dirt and sawdust, her hands and wrists wrapped up, forged her into something. A weapon. Jiro took up most of her time, so she never went out with friends or her mother all that much. The one person she'd grown closest to sat in a Rasen prison cell. Sakyia recalled the times she’d tried fitting in with girls at her school: going shopping, wearing makeup and pretty clothes; talking about boys they liked and things they did over the weekend. She wanted that life. She wanted a circle of friends who stuck by her side, and lifted her up. Often, she imagined going shopping with a group of friends, and visiting her mother's salon togethet. 

But, Jiro pulled her away from that to fight in the pits. Plus, the bruises kept people at a distance. Thinking of the endless fights night after night already tired her out. She withdrew the small sketchpad from her bag with a pencil, and returned to her drawing. 

She was done with fighting. She did not mind a bit of practice to keep herself in shape, but fighting people? Sakyia refused to do it ever again. She’d wasted her life on pointless fighting. She’d only done it because of Jiro; otherwise she might’ve given up on it entirely and focused on her art. Martial arts used to be something her father and her shared. When he died, it felt meaningless to continue. Sakyia looked forward to helping her mother in the salon, doing simple tasks and meeting people. Maybe she can enroll in a beauty school and become a stylist herself. She could still go, if she wanted; she was only twenty-five. She still had so much ahead, and with Jiro and the warehouse gone, she could be something more than that.

“-Alright, she’ll come by to pick it up,” Hana said over the phone. “Thank you, Naomi. Have a good night.” She turned back to Midori and Sakyia by the television, “Alright you, time to go. Here’s the address,” she scribbled it down on a piece of paper and handed it to Sakyia, “She says it’ll be done in thirty minutes or so.” 

“Then, I’ll go in thirty minutes.” 

“No, young lady,” said Midori, picking up her glass of wine from the coffee table. “You’ll go now. That way it’ll be hot when you bring it back.”

“You two just want me out of the house so you can have the wine to yourselves,” Sakyia accused, putting her pad and pencil aside. 

“That’s right,” she smiled, pouring her sister a glass. “I haven’t drank properly since I married Jiro,” she said to Hana. “He said he thought women drinking was an ugly trait. I can’t believe I actually listened to him.”

“I can’t believe you married him!” said Hana, sitting on the sofa between her and Sakyia. 

This was her cue to leave. She slowly stood from the couch, slipped on her jacket and shoes, and headed out the door. Once outside, she entered the address into her phone and began walking. The sky started changing from day into night, and she saw businesses already closing. She did receive curious looks from locals who’d never seen her, but she nodded politely. Walking down the street, Sannoh did not seem like such a rough place. It did appear a bit run down in places, yet she liked that. It felt real. Sakyia saw herself living in this small town. She could inherit the salon or start her own art gallery and sell her drawings, if they were good enough. She smiled softly. This could be a good place for her and her mother.

She found the Itokan Diner wedged in a corner of the street with a small sign bearing its name in bold letters. Sakyia took a deep breath, and then pushed on the door. Her stomach growled at the scent of savory food in the air. She took a look around the small diner: it had bench tables, posters and words plastered on the walls, and chandeliers made from glass bottles. The rustic, comforting look must draw in a good amount of people during the night. She then noticed the room going quiet when she walked in. 

“Hey, Sakyia!” Tettsu called to her from one of the tables, “You actually came!”

“Um, yeah,” she said, caught off guard by his grin, “My aunt ordered some food and I’m picking it up.” 

Behind the counter, a short slim woman with brown hair stirred a pot over the stove. Sakyia guessed this was Naomi, the woman her aunt mentioned. She turned around when the door opened and smiled at Sayika. 

"You must be Sakyia," she said. "Hana said you'd be coming by to pick up the food. It won't be ready for a while, so if you want to sit and have a drink, you're welcome to."

"Thanks," she took a seat at the bar. "They kicked me out so they can have all the wine to themselves. What do you have to drink around here?"

"Beer mostly," she replied. 

Beer wasn't her favorite, but she asked for one. She gazed around the diner and noticed a drawing on the wall. It was a crown with two tigers on either side with the gang's name on a banner. She snorted. It was a decent design. She'd still seen worse. She took a swig from the beer Naomi placed in front of her and noted the photos on a shelf nearby. Two men stood together in front of a familiar logo on the wall. Two snakes tangled together in a circle underneath the words "Mugen" was a familiar sight to her.

"This used to be Mugen’s place?" the question came out before she stopped herself. 

Naomi finished wiping a glass and said, "Ah, no. My brother, Tatsuya, was in it before he started the diner. The other man was his best friend, Kohaku. Why? Did you know them?" 

"Not personally, but guys in the warehouse used to wear their vests and talk about them." She took another drink of beer when Naomi moved closer to her.

"Warehouse?"

She'd said too much. If this woman's brother was part of Mugen, she might not know about their part in the fighting rings. "I used to be a secretary in a warehouse in the bay area. With so many men around, they all try to impress you and say they know guys in Mugen or are a part of it."

"A lot of guys used to do that," said a male voice behind her. 

She turned to see a dark haired man sitting not too far away, his own plate of food in front of him. His wide shoulders slimmed down his torso, though hidden behind the green sweater he wore. Judging by his face, he didn't like what Sakyia was saying. 

"Doesn't mean Kohaku was involved," he said. "Guys in Mugen used its name to do bad things like deal drugs and women. But we weren't involved in that."

"Never said they did," she replied, a bit taken back by his reaction. "Just things I heard." She noticed another photo with Cobra and the other man with the first two. They also wore Mugen vests. It explained the man's reaction. 

"She was only saying, Yamato. She didn't mean anything by it," Naomi defended her. 

Men were so sensitive. She wondered what Yamato might say if she told him that Mugen members liked to fight and bet in the warehouse. Drinking her beer, she remembered a boy she'd fought who boasted about being part of Mugen. He made it sound as if she should've been scared of him. Sakyia would admit he dislocated her shoulder, broke her upper lip, bruised up her stomach and nearly choked her, but she'd beat him. He lost when a swift kick to the temple knocked him out. Sakyia smirked to herself. She recalled what she'd said to his manager. 

"It appears that Mugen isn't as tough as they say."  

"You were a part of Mugen, then?" she asked. 

"Cobra and Yamato were," said Tettsu, coming over to her side, "But the rest of us joined them when they started the Sannoh Hoodlum Squad."

"Is there a signup sheet or something? How do you even join a gang?" The idea amused her. Naomi laughed as she turned back to the stove. 

"Well, um, you sort of show up to the base and, kind of, join?" 

"Why? Are you interested?" a deep voice asked from nearby.

She turned around to see Cobra sitting in a corner booth, a motorcycle magazine in front of him. In the dim lighting of the diner, his hair shone a dark gold color and softened his features. She understood her mother's suggestion at once. Even Sakyia wouldn't deny it: he was handsome. He didn't smile and spoke in a low voice. 

"What if I was?" she asked, leaning back on the bar. "Do you accept women?"

The men in the bar laughed, but Cobra gazed at her. She tried not showing her uneasiness at his silent staring. His eyes remained absent the usual flirtatiousness; they observed her closely, as if they could see through her act. He studied her and she didn't like it. It reminded her too much of the men at the warehouse, who examined her like a horse for sale. The men who trained her said she had a slim body good for dodging and speed. She often fought men and women larger than her and her size came in handy. Cobra looked at her the way they did now. 

"Depends," he said, "How good of a fighter are you?"

"Fighter?" Dan furrowed his brow. 

Yamato turned to him in surprise, "What do you mean by that? She's a girl."

"That doesn't mean she couldn't fight any of you," said Naomi, who continued stirring her noodles. "She's got the body for it. She’s smaller and probably quicker than you, Baldy."

“Hag,” Yamato spat back, though his smile gave away the affection. 

"Oh, I can't fight to save my life," Sakyia fibbed, finishing her beer. "I can't do all that fancy, tough guy martial arts stuff that guys do nowadays." It wasn't anyone's business what she could and couldn't do. Her father used to tell her not to show off or boast about her skills; that way she had the element of surprise. "I don't mind watching though. It’s kinda hot when guys fight each other," she added, winking at him. She expected a reaction, but didn't get one. He continued staring, and she stared right back. "What about you guys? What's your gang all about?"

"We protect the town," Cobra said. "There are other gangs around here who like hurting people and stealing. We stop them. We look after each other and make sure everyone is safe."

"How admirable. Most gangs I know deal drugs and fight all the time."

"Don't be fooled," said Naomi, putting rice into a small styrofoam container. "These guys use their fists to solve their problems all the time. You won't believe the amount of times they walk in here all bruised up and bleeding."

"But we win," Yamato quickly added, digging back into a hot plate of food. 

"That’s not why we fight though,” said Cobra, going back to his magazine. “We fight hard because this town is worth fighting for. We all came together because of that shared love for our town. If you stick around long enough, you'll see it for yourself."

"Who could possibly want to mess with this little place?" she asked, the smell of the food making her hungry again. "There isn't anything here."

"People who want to step on the weak," he said. "The people who steal from those who already have nothing." 

“I suppose my mom and I should be glad we moved into such a well protected area then,” she said, smirking at his righteous statement. She found it funny how serious he sounded. “So, do I call you if I ever need ‘protection’ or do you guys operate like Batman, and you happen to show up at the right time?”

The younger members chuckled at the joke, but stopped once Cobra stood up. All the nerves inside Sakyia lifted her shoulders slightly. She didn’t want to fight. Cobra came a few feet to her, then said, “I don’t think someone like you needs protection in the first place.”

“Meaning?”

“You claim you don’t know how to fight,” he said, “But then explain the scars on your knuckles.” 

Sakyia looked at the hand on the bar, where a long scar stood out against her skin amongst smaller ones. “Accident,” she answered quickly. “It’s how I got this too, if you were planning on mentioning it,” she tapped the thin scar where Yoshi busted her nose. It healed well enough, but left a mark. “I was riding on a motorcycle with a friend, and it turned over. I broke my knuckle bone and my nose. Nothing suspicious about that.” 

Cobra’s seriousness broke into a shadow of amusement. “I’ve been riding my motorcycle for years. I’ve never seen people get such specific injuries from an accident.” 

“Are you some kind of motorcycle accident expert or something?” she spat back, “I got them from an accident, that’s it.” 

"Your mom said she was opening up Sungmi's salon," Tettsu said, taking your attention from Cobra and his questions. "Will you be working there too?" 

"Yeah," she nodded, peeling her eyes away from Cobra. "I'm not a stylist or anything, but she says I can clean and do reception."

Naomi came to her holding three styrofoam boxes. "Oh, she's opening back up the salon?"

"She'll be helping run it, yeah."

"Thank god!" She sighed in relief, "All the women around here have been going to the barber because the salon’s closed. It'd be nice to get a proper haircut."

"And a manicure or pedicure," Sakyia added. "My mom is hiring some nail artists to bring in more clients. She's going to have it properly running in a week or so. She actually does my hair," she showed off her short wavy bob, the ombre colors of brown and black fading out. "You should stop by when it's open."

"I definitely will," she said, "And I know plenty of other women who will stop by."

"I can come too," Tettsu chimed in eagerly. 

"Salons are for women, Tettsu," Yamato rolled his eyes. 

"There's nothing wrong with a man going to a salon," Sakyia said to him. "Same as a woman going to a barber shop.”

"Then I will come by," Tettsu smiled. "And you can come to my family's onsen."

"Your family's bathhouse is for men," Naomi told him. 

"We could make a private space for her." 

Sakyia chuckled, "The offer is nice, but no thank you." 

"Well, if you change your mind…" he blushed, turning away. “You can just, you know, drop by or whatever.”

"What's with your nickname anyways?" She turned to Cobra again. She hated how he’d seen her scars and deduced their cause. She needed to prod him back. Her mother might scold her, but she didn’t care. "Is it supposed to compensate for something?"

Yamato nearly choked on his food. Dan and Tettsu stifled laughter and Naomi busied herself with putting the food in take out bags. Cobra didn't smile but he didn't glare either. His lack of reactions had begun to annoy her. Also, his stare made her squirm inside. 

"In school," he said, smiling somewhat when he saw she wasn't being malicious, "There was this grapple I learned how to do. People said I did it so tight, it was like a cobra squeezing them. Someone said it and the name stuck," he shrugged. 

"Maybe you can show me," she suggested, picking up the plastic bags Naomi handed her. "You know, since this town is so dangerous and I'm a defenseless woman wandering the streets at night." 

Yamato gawked at her, "Wow, this girl's bold!" 

“I doubt you’re defenseless,” Cobra smirked. 

She tried not laughing at their reactions. She paid for the food and drink, thanked Naomi and said her farewell. Once outside, she giggled to herself. Men were so easily shocked by bold behavior. They seemed like a decent group. She decided she might stop by the diner more often. 

That was how people made friends, right?

When she returned to the shop, she climbed the stairs and heard her mother laughing behind it. Sakyia stood outside the door for a moment to listen. She hadn’t heard her mother’s laugh for a long time. Full of mirth and giddiness, she’s sure the wine is helping it along but Auntie Hana’s presence adds to this. A surge of hope actually swirled in her chest. Maybe things will work out for them in this little town. 

“Ma, I’m back,” she called into the apartment as she entered. 

“Oh, good! We’re starving!” Hana sighed in relief, coming to the kitchen counter where Sakyia placed the bags. She began opening the bags, deeply inhaling the food, “Perfect. Naomi is a great cook. You’re both going to love her food.”

“Okay, okay, let’s get to eating.”

Her mother grabbed utensils, and passed them around. Sitting at the small dining table next to the kitchen, the women dug into their meals. Sakyia agreed with her aunt about the food: it was delicious. The tender chunks of meat stew melted in her mouth, full of seasonings and spices that complimented the bed of rice underneath. Only her mother’s own cooking surpassed it. Dipping a piece of broccoli in the sauce and eating it, her mother spoke. 

“Sakyia,” she began, “Your aunt and I have been talking while you were gone.”

“Uh-oh.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Hana asked, affronted. 

“Because whenever she starts a sentence with ‘your aunt and I have been talking’, it’s about to be something crazy.”

“Ah, hush you,” her mother nudged her with a smile. “I know we talked about you working with me in the salon, but Hana here told me she’s been looking for a delivery person for the store.”

“Okay…” she listened, eating another piece of saucy steamed vegetables. 

“I think it’d be a better fit for you,” she stated, eating a bit of her own rice. “You’d be bored in the salon. You used to whine and wail about it when you were little, and you haven’t changed since then. Going around the districts, seeing the different places and meeting new people might be better for you. You’d be occupied and stimulated instead of sweeping floors and listening to gossip.” 

“I wanted to sweep floors and listen to gossip,” she said. After the years she spent in the rings, she’d somewhat looked forward to ‘boring mundane work’. 

“No, you didn’t,” her mother said. “You only want that because of, you know, your last…job.” She watched her daughter for a moment, seeing the way she avoided her gaze. “It’d be good for you,” she added. “You might make some friends that way and have a normal life.” 

It sounded convincing, she wouldn’t lie. Sakyia knew deep down she’d get tired of working in the salon. It’d been the same during her childhood. She looked at Hana, “What would I be doing? Just delivering stuff to people?”

“Yes,” she nodded, drinking some of her wine. “People drop off their packages or send them in through other people; I charge and stamp them, and you’d take them where they need to go. Before you ask, a lot of these people don’t have the means or the time to give the packages and letters themselves. The family service is there to help them out. Besides, it’s good money,” she eyed them both before eating from her bowl. “It’ll help you greatly to have two incomes instead of one.”

“She’s got a point,” her mother agreed, washing down her food with water. “It’ll be good for us to have extra money coming in; then we’ll be able to get our own place quicker.”

Sakyia mulled this over while she ate. Her mother and her left their old home in a hurry, leaving them with little chances to find a proper and affordable place. If they save enough money, they can move into an apartment and leave the dingy flat above the postal shop. 

“How would I get around?” Sakyia asked, seeing the flaw right away. 

“You can use Koichi’s scooter,” she said. “He left it behind when he moved out of town. It’s in the courtyard between our building and the ones behind it.” She saw Sakyia’s hesitancy. “It’ll be good for you. Trust me. Not to mention,” she smirked to herself, “Some of my regulars are rather handsome.”

“Ooh!” her mother smiled, eyebrows raised at Sakyia. 

“I’m not interested in that.” 

“Oh please! A heartbreaker like you? I doubt it,” she rapped her arm and Sakyia smirked. “I remember all the little boys your mother used to tell me about; all of them trying to gain the attention of Tanaka Sakyia and being ignored. You don’t have to marry them, but,” she sneered, “It doesn’t hurt to have some fun.”

“My daughter is not that kind of girl, Hana.”

“I never said she was, but come on, Midori. We used to do the same when we were her age. You didn’t have a proper boyfriend until you met Kenji. But, that’s not important,” she said. “The job is easy and simple. The clients tip well for the service, and they’ll tip twice when they see how pretty you are. You won’t be fighting anyone or be in any sort of danger.” When Sakyia did not appear convinced, she continued, “Look, try it out for a week. I have clients around the district here, so you’ll at least get familiar with the area before you make a decision. How about it?” 

Sakyia weighed the pros and cons of this job. It’d include a lot of travel and talking to strangers, going into places of the district she’d yet to explore. Yet, she’d be making her own money, and contributing to her home rather than sweep floors and take calls in a salon for free. This new job will give her something to do, since little Sannoh did not appear to offer much. She looked to her mother, who smiled at her encouragingly. Sakyia felt slightly disappointed. Boring work sounded so nice. No bloody fists. No broken bones or bruised skin. No rings. She’d have only a broom and dustpan; a phone and a computer to write down appointments. With this little bike and parcels, she may run into trouble, which she wished to avoid. But, looking around their new home, they needed the money. 

“I’ll give it a shot,” she finally said. “How hard can it really be?” 

Hana cheered and smiled widely, “Excellent! Oh, you’re gonna love it! It’ll be an easy gig for you, I promise.”

“You’ll do well,” her mother added, gripping her hand gently. 

“I hope so.” 

The three women finished their dinner, and then Hana left for the night. Sakyia felt too tired to unpack anything else, so she showered in the small bathroom and crashed onto her new bed. The full mattress squeaked, and felt slightly firm underneath her. It was better than nothing. Her mother took the bed on the other side of the room, and both of them fixed their beds for sleep. 

“I think this will be good for us,” her mother said, her voice breaking the silence in the dark room. “This is the new beginning we needed. No debt collectors. No punks. No Jiro. Just you and me and this shabby apartment.” 

Sakyia smiled to herself, turning her head to look at her mother a few feet away. “We’ll find a way to make this apartment a home, until we find our own. You’ll buy Sungmi’s salon and have your own business again.” 

“And maybe you’ll finally make friends.” She then hesitated, “Possibly even boyfriends.”

“Boyfriends?” she scoffed. “As if.”

“Eh, well, you’re a lot more popular with boys than you’ve ever realized. Jiro kept you so close and isolated, you never noticed the boys. Maybe now that you’re older you’ll become the little heartbreaker your father said you’d be,” she snickered at the last point. 

She snorted, pulling the covers to her chin. “He never said that.”

“He did,” she insisted. “He kept saying he’d have to train more to fight off the line of boys that’ll be at our door.” She then said, “Just make sure he’s a nice boy? You know, who comes from a good family, has a job, is kind and gentle with you. A real gentleman.”

“Oh, Ma, can we stop the boyfriend talk, please?”

Midori laughed at her daughter’s groaning, remembering briefly how her husband used to do the same. “Alright, fine. Goodnight, Blossom.”

“Night, Ma.” 

****

Her mother busy with setting up the salon and acquainting herself with employees, she’d left Sakyia to her own devices. She ate a quick breakfast of leftovers and washed up. Pulling on her father’s bomber jacket, dark navy and worn in the seams, she tied up half of her hair and went downstairs to find stacks of parcels left on the counter. Hana moved around them, smiling at her. 

“Ah good, you’re here,” she said, kissing Sakyia’s cheek. “I got some packages that need to be sent as soon as possible. Don’t worry, I picked out local places so you can get familiar with Sannoh first. That way, if you decide you don’t want the job, my regulars won’t be accustomed to you.”

“Sounds good to me,” she nodded. “What do I do with them? Can that little bike hold all these?”

Hana began explaining the job to her. People normally made calls to have packages picked up or dropped off from one place to another. Sakyia only needed to drop it off, have them sign for it, and she went on to the next place. To pick up orders, she’d have to go to the address on the appointment sheet, and make sure to be there on time since the longer she took, the lower her tip is likely to be. The job sounded easy enough, especially with the bike in the back. 

“Here it is,” Hana led her to the courtyard behind the shop, each woman carrying stacks of boxes. 

Against a wall leant an aquamarine and white motor scooter. The previous owner painted orange and red flames on the back, and plastered bumper stickers that were later scratched off. Sakyia never rode one before, but it could not be much different from a motorcycle, which she knew how to navigate decently. Attached to the back was a wire cart, which she guessed added extra space for parcels. 

“It’s not the fanciest thing in the world,” Hana said, putting her stack carefully in the cart. “But it runs well. If you ever have trouble, there’s a little mechanic shop in town where you can go. Yamato is very good at fixing bikes.” 

She recalled Yamato from the previous night. “Hm, noted,” she said, adding hers beside them. 

“Here are the keys,” she handed her a small set of keys. “The first place on your list is the Dan Convenience store. The owner is a good friend, but he’s too busy with the store to pick them up. Make sure they get there in one piece.” 

Sakyia looked at the clipboard her aunt put on top of the parcels. On it were several names, addresses, and times to be delivered. Her aunt must’ve spent the early morning making phone calls to get them. She supposed she should start right away. Putting on the matching helmet hanging off the handle, she guided the bike around the side of the shop and onto the street. She typed the address into her navigation app, and saw a clear path to the little store. She planted herself firmly on the seat, nerves starting to numb her fingers and toes as she turned on the engine. It hummed to life underneath her, and she pressed the pedal to jolt forward. The first few starts startled her, but once she finally turned onto the street, she got the hang of it. Thankfully, years of maintaining balance helped. 

The app took her to a small store a few blocks away. It appeared to be the typical convenience store, with the wide windows displaying special deals or sales. She turned off the bike and removed her helmet. She went over what she’d say as she picked up the first of the big boxes. A simple ‘hello, package for you’ might be a good start. It did not need to be a whole conversation. Though, being the newcomer in town, she might have to actually have a conversation. She’d done fine the other night in the diner. This won’t be any different. Keep things easy. Keep things flowing. 

“Welcome!” Two voices said in unison. 

Twin girls stood up from the register counter, hands behind their backs and formally bowing their heads when she walked in. She noticed they wore pink and black jackets, and long pink aprons. They were also tall. They almost towered over her. 

“Um, good morning,” Sakyia said, “I have some packages for the owner…” she looked at the name on her clipboard, “Dan?”

“Dan’s not the owner,” said the twin with long brown hair. 

“His dad is,” said her sister, who had shorter hair in two braids. 

“He’s not here right now.”

“You can leave the packages with us.”

“Alright…” she said, but then someone else came up. 

“Oh, Sakyia, you’re here.”

It was Dan, one of the Sannoh members, she remembered. Tall with black hair parted to the side, he gave her a smile as he wiped his hands on his apron. 

“Morning, Dan,” she said, showing she hadn’t forgotten his name. “I take it by the name, this is your family’s store?”

“Yes, it is,” he nodded, taking the box from her carefully. “My dad’s not here, but I can sign for the packages.”

“Okay, good.” 

She handed him the clipboard, and stared around the store. She recalled the empty fridge back home, and considered picking up some of the basics. Sakyia knew she had time in between locations to put the things back home. “Do you sell ready-to-eat meals?” she heard herself ask, peeking the fridges along the wall. 

“We do,” he nodded, handing her the clipboard. “We sell lots of things here for a lady on the go,” she noticed his friendly smile, “As well as necessities.”

“Hm, good,” she nodded. “My mom and I moved in yesterday, and neither of us has had time to shop.” She checked her phone for the time. She could do a bit of shopping. 

“Oh, so you’re the newcomer,” said the long-haired twin. “Naomi mentioned you. I’m Oshiage-”

“-And I’m Shiba,” said the short-haired one. “She said your mother’s a hairstylist-”

“-And that she’s opening up Sungmi’s salon.”

Did they always do that? Sakyia nodded slowly, “Yeah, she’s working there. She’s really good at what she does. Her salon back home was really popular.” 

“Where was, um, home?” Dan asked, hands in his back pockets. “Ms. Kimura mentioned you came from another district.”

“Chikuni Bay,” she answered. “We lived near the warehouse district by the water until we had to move.” 

“Gosh, it must’ve been nice living by the water,” he smiled, gazing over her face. Why was he doing that? It unnerved her. 

“She’s not interested,” said Shiba, irritably. 

“Stop being a creep.”

“I’m not being a creep!” he exclaimed, mouth agape and a blush tinging his cheeks. “I’m only being friendly, that’s all. She’s new and as part of the Sannoh Hoodlum Squad, it’s my duty to make people feel welcome here.”

They rolled their eyes together, unconvinced by his argument. “I think I’ll go, um, get the rest of the boxes-” she began to say, backing away to the doors. 

“-No, no, I’ll get them,” Dan insisted. “You can take a look around the shop in the meantime.”

“Alright, thanks.”

She left him to get the packages, while she picked up a basket. Scanning the different aisles, she picked out bread and fruits for the home. She’d been looking at the refrigerated area, examining the different types of ready-to-eat meals on the shelves, when she heard another person enter the store. 

“Hey Junko,” the twins said together. 

“Hey Twin Towers.”

Sakyia did not really pay much mind to the women who walked into the store. She’d been deciding between a curry meal or a bento box when footsteps approached. The chicken curry and rice sounded more to her mother’s taste. She’d be fine with a bento.

“Hey,” a voice caught her attention. She looked to see two girls dressed in black with long pink and white jackets standing a few feet from her. The one with the short black hair seemed to have spoken. “You’re Ms. Kimura’s niece?”

“I am,” she nodded, putting the two items in her basket. “Who are you?”

“I’m Junko,” she said. “This is Asuka,” she nodded to the girl wearing a long ponytail behind her. “We’re part of Ichigo Milku.”

“Strawberry milk?” 

“It’s our favorite drink,” said Asuka. “It's our gang name.”

Ah, another Sannoh gang. “That’s…cool,” Sakyia said, “I wasn’t aware Sannoh had a girl gang.”

“We’re the only ones,” Junko said proudly. “We take care of the women in Sannoh, and make sure they’re safe.” 

“How admirable,” she checked her time again, and saw she was running out. “It was nice meeting you guys, but I gotta check out and then get back on my route.” 

“We heard your mom’s opening up Sungmi’s salon,” Junko said. “Is she any good?”

“She’s amazing,” she told them honestly. “She does my hair all the time.” Like with Naomi, she showed them her hair cut. “It’s faded out, but she retouches it for me when she has the time,” she added, in case they thought the dye job was bad. She walked over to the register, putting down her items. It wasn’t much, but enough to get them until they could shop together. “She’s hired nail artists too, if you all are interested in that,” she said, “and all the old stylists that used to work there before Sungmi left.”

“That sounds great!” Asuka beamed, “I’ve been dying to get my nails done!”

“Us too!” the two twins said. 

They began scanning her items when she spotted the cupcake display. Vanilla and chocolate cupcakes with different colored frosting and sprinkles lined a small case by the register. They looked good. Sakyia could not remember the last time she ate anything sweet. Jiro often kept her on a strict diet, and prohibited sweets. She knew if he stood next to her, he’d sharply scold her for thinking about it. It made her want one even more.

“-Junko,” Asuka whispered her name and nodded to the door. 

Sakyia saw Junko’s hard exterior melt once she looked at the door. She turned to see Cobra walking into the shop, hands in his pockets. Sakyia guessed Junko liked him by how she stared at him with dreamy eyes. It reminded her of the girls she used to know in school. She recalled how they acted around boys they liked, and the stupid things they did to get his attention. Sakyia never had time to care about boys; Jiro took up most of it. Cobra noticed them all in the shop, and his eyes locked with hers for a moment. He was as broody today as he’d been last night. Still such a mystery to her. 

“Morning,” she said politely, nodding her head at him. 

“Morning, Sakyia.”

He took a spot behind her in line, and she noticed the nervous glances Junko and the other girls gave one another. She turned back to the twins, who finished scanning and bagging her meager selection. 

“You’re taking up Koichi’s job then?” Cobra asked her, much to the shock of the other girls. 

“I am,” she nodded, fishing for her wallet in her jacket pocket. “It helps out my aunt’s business and gives me a little extra money.”

“I’m glad Hana’s back in business,” he said. “Her service helps a lot of people in Sannoh.” 

“And helps me out at the same time,” she said, trying her best to joke. He made her nervous with his stare and his handsome face and his presence. She looked at the dessert display again. “How much are the cupcakes?” she asked the twins. 

“216 yen each,” said Shiba.

She sucked her teeth. Her slight against Jiro would have to wait another day. She paid for everything, and stepped aside. Another check of her phone told her she needed to get going before her next appointment. She hated her impulsive decisions. Dan having removed his packages, she had space for her bags. 

“I’ll see you all around,” she said. That’s something friendly people say, don’t they? 

“See ya, Sakyia!” said Asuka and the twins. 

“Bye Sakyia!” Dan popped out from the back with a wide smile. “Come back whenever you want, really!”

“Ugh, you’re so pathetic, Dan,” said one of the twins. 

Junko seemed too transfixed on Cobra, who only nodded at Sakyia. She felt his eyes on her still as she left the shop. It bothered her so damn much. Why did he have to stare? It made her hot under the collar, and her cheeks flushed pink. She set her bags down inside securely, then looked to see that she needed to get to her next location soon. She entered the next address on her phone when someone came up beside her. 

"Here."

Cobra stood next to her bike, handing her a small bag. Inside, on a plate, sat a vanilla cupcake with baby blue frosting. Sakyia looked between him and the cupcake, a bit confused and stunned. 

"Thank you," she said, gingerly taking the bag. "You didn't have to do that. I would've gotten it another time."

"I wanted to," he replied, shrugging. 

She straddled her bike and put on her helmet with urgency. The small gesture reminded her of another person she’d known. He liked to give her random gifts as well; he used to brush it off too. Jesse was never one for grandiose gestures of affection even at fourteen. She placed the cupcake bag with the ones in the cart, and looked back at him. 

“Why?” 

“You looked like you could use it.” 

“I could use a lot more things than a cupcake.”

“Still, we can find happiness in the little things too, you know.” Her phone pinged, and he said, “Looks like you have a busy day ahead.” 

“Seriously busy,” she said. “My aunt’s orders are super backed up; there’s more waiting at the store. I’m sure it would’ve been worse if your friends hadn’t helped her before.” 

“Your family’s business helps a lot of people around here, and Hana’s a good friend of my parents,” he said. “It would’ve been cruel of me to not lend a hand. She also helps keep the balance around here.”

“Balance? What ‘balance’?”

“Between the gangs in SWORD,” he answered. “There are five gangs in Chikuni, and we all use your aunt’s business when we want to deal with one another. That way, nobody walks into each other’s territories without warning first.” 

“SWORD? The city’s Chikuni though.”

“It’s the nickname. I thought your aunt told you?”

“She neglected to mention it to me,” she grumbled. “Five gangs? Are they dangerous?”

“They can be, if you’re not careful. But, I’m sure once you tell them who you work for, they’ll lay off you,” he explained. “I’m sure Hana’s already informed the other leaders about you too.”

“Lovely. She warns them, but not me.” 

“She probably didn’t want to scare you off the job,” he suggested. “Besides, perhaps she thinks you’re capable of handling it. Koichi was a pretty good fighter too.”

“Fighting?”

“Like I said, ‘five gangs’.” He stepped forward, “I could, you know, come with you? That way, you’ll have some protection.”

“I don’t need it.” She said this quicker than she meant to. “I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

Her sudden rejection didn’t upset Cobra. He smirked and said, “Yeah, you will be, huh?” 

She hated the feeling that smirk gave her. Cobra’s gentle eyes and words made her nervous. Not in the ‘fight-or-flight’ way she’d become so accustomed to either. Her mother used to call it ‘the butterflies’, and she didn’t like them. They made her warm and hopeful, like she’d been as a girl in school. 

“See you around,” she said quickly. “Thanks again for the cupcake."

"No problem."

Sakyia started the scooter and went on her way. Chikuni City had five gangs, all controlling different parts of the city, and her aunt’s little delivery business kept them from fighting. Sakyia knew the job sounded a bit too good to be true. She decided she’d ask her aunt about it later, but she’ll keep it from her mother. Her mother worries plenty about everything else; Sakyia won’t pile on any supposed possibilities. She just hoped she did not have to fight. She was done fighting. Sakyia pushed Cobra and the gangs to the back of her mind, then carried on with her day. 

She dropped off a few more packages to different locations, meeting her aunt’s customers and people around the town. The gangs aside, the people of Sannoh greeted her with friendly smiles. Mrs. Saito owns an antique shop, and she gave Sakyia a small beckoning cat keychain for good luck. Mr. Ito runs a grocery store, and told her amusing stories about his youth in Sannoh whilst she waited for his signature. People seemed to know all about her parents, and her mother opened the salon. Sakyia did what she could to spread the word herself, hoping it’ll help. She’d gone to the salon for lunch, giving her mother one of the meals she’d bought, and told her about her morning. 

“Ah, I remember Mrs. Saito. Your grandmother loved going into her shop. She has a lot of interesting things in there,” she smiled fondly at the memory. She sat across from Sakyia on one of the hair drying chairs, who sat on the barber chair. “I missed this place,” she said, chewing a piece of chicken curry with rice. “I always meant to bring you here one day so you can see where your father and I grew up, but I never got around to it.” She noticed the cupcake Sakyia had sitting with the rest of the groceries. “You bought a sweet treat, huh?” she smiled, “Jiro would’ve scolded you if he was here.”

“It’s why I wanted it, but I didn’t have enough for it.”

“Then how did you get it?”

She slurped some of the chicken broth in her cup, then said, “Junpei.” Her mother hid her grin behind a scoop of rice. “Ugh, it didn’t mean anything. He was only being friendly.”

“There’s a difference between ‘friendly’ and ‘friendly’, she smirked. “Your aunt tells me he’s a very nice boy.”

“Ma…” she said warningly. 

“Alright, alright,” she finished off her meal, and dumped it in the trash. “I’ll lay off. But, you can at least try making friends your own age. I know that’s easier said than done, but I…I want you to have a life, Sakyia.”

She knew this. Jiro robbed her of a proper social life and childhood. From thirteen to twenty-five, Sakyia cannot say she had any ‘proper’ friends. 

“You know who you should call up one day?” her mother broke into her thoughts. “That boy you used to hang around with when you were younger. What was his name? Skinny boy with black hair? Never wore his shoes the right way?” 

“Jesse?”

Sakyia’s stomach rumbled, and she stopped eating her ramen. She remembered Jesse vividly. A lot of teenagers fought in the warehouse pits during her time there. The managers often pitted them against one another to keep things fair, but occasionally she’d fight people bigger than her. Jesse was one of the kids she often fought against. Strong and fast with lots of stamina, it always took several rounds before either of them went down. Jesse never yielded. He either knocked her out or she knocked him out. One night, after a fight, they got to talking in the locker room and clicked. She often met up with him at the warehouse since he lived in Little Asia, and she lived near the bay. He liked her. She didn’t know at the time, but as a woman now, the signs were obvious. He went easy on her in fights; he often tended to her wounds afterwards; he hung around her before and afterwards, and even brought her a flower for her birthday. 

“I heard he’s in prison,” she said, remembering the boy who wore his sneakers like sandals. Word spread that he’d been lifted by police and gone to Rasan Prison, where he’s been for a long time. “So, there isn’t any way of ‘calling him’.” Not that she would. It’d been so long ago, she doubted her recalled her at all. 

“What a shame,” her mother mused, going back to fixing up the hair station. “He’d liked you a lot.” 

Her phone rang in her pocket, and Sakyia sighed. “I have to go, Ma,” she told her, cleaning up her spot and dumping the garbage. “Auntie Hana gave me a long list of drop-offs for today, so I might not be back until later.”

“Be careful, Blossom,” she said, kissing her daughter’s cheek. 

They said their farewells, and Sakyia went back on her route. Sannoh didn't seem like a bad place. People were friendly in a way that threw her off at times. She blamed it on the places where she received nothing but grimaces of pain or dirty glares. She briefly remembered Jesse, who'd always smiled at her approach. He did it when he fought her too, teasing and goading her into charging at him. Sannoh might've been different after all. 

The sky turned dark by the time she finished delivering packages around the area. She’d driven back towards home when she noticed the gas tank dial. The tiny yellow hand pointed dangerously close to the ‘empty’ symbol. She’ll admit she’d put off getting gas since she wanted to get to her drop offs and pickups on time. Yet, cruising through the streets, she worried she may not make it home on a near empty tank. She remembered passing a gas station on her way southwards, so she searched on her phone for the station and drove in its direction. 

‘Hina Gas’ went across the top in bold letters. It appeared a bit run down, but nothing that threw her guard off. Sakyia parked the scooter by a pump, then went inside. ‘The butterflies’ made their return. Cobra sat behind the register, magazine in his lap and his feet propped on a counter. His head poked up when the doorbell jingled throughout the small store. 

“Hey,” she heard herself say out loud. 

“Hey,” he said. “It’s late. Shouldn’t you be home?”

“Shouldn’t you?”

“I live nearby.”

“So do I.” Why is everything an inquest with this man? “I just needed gas,” she nodded to the pumps outside, “Otherwise I’d get stranded.” 

She walked up to the counter, and he stood from his chair. The air remained tense and quiet. They didn’t have to talk. It’s not needed. Yet, the butterflies continued fluttering in her stomach. Cobra put in the gas charge, and she fished through her bag for the cash. 

“How was it?” he asked, processing her payment. 

“Huh?”

“Your day,” he specified. “How’d it go?”

“Oh, um, it went well. My aunt kept most of the addresses in Sannoh, so at least I can see the rest of the place,” she said, fiddling with the strap of her bag. Her fingernails picked into the polyester strap, dragging over the prints nervously. “It’s actually a nice place. The people I’ve met are nice, at least. Mrs. Saito from the antique store gave me this little cat charm,” she showed it to him, the golden cat hanging from her keychain. “For good luck,” she continued. “Overall, not a bad day. How was yours?” it only felt right to ask, since he did first. 

The corner of his mouth twitched at the cat. He handed her back the bills, and said, “It’s been a quiet one, that’s for sure, but not unpleasant.” He hesitated, about to add on to it before stopping himself. “It is, um, you know, getting late though. Sannoh isn’t always as pleasant at night. You really shouldn’t go on your own.”

“I have my scooter. No worries,” she insisted, putting her money away. “I can just ride away if danger comes near me.”

“Still,” he said, looking over her face, “Be careful.”

“I will, thanks. Night.”

“Night.”

She moved to leave when someone else entered the shop. Seeing his black hair hanging over his eyes, dressed in a hoodie and jeans, Noboru leaned on a walking stick as he walked in. He looked different from the young man who’d come to her old house a month and a half ago. His eyes met hers, and he gave a friendly grin. 

“Oh, hello, Sakyia,” he said, giving a bow of his head. “I heard you and your mom moved into the neighborhood.” He went over to the counter, giving Cobra a fist pump. “I hope you settled in okay.”

“We did, thanks,” she said. “What happened to your leg? You weren’t injured when we met.”

“You’ve met before?” Cobra asked, looking between them. 

“An accident,” he answered Sakyia. “It’s a bit of a complicated story, but I no longer work for the Iemura family.”

Sakyia did not need him to tell her more. He must’ve upset them somehow, and they’d punished him for it. She pitied him. “I’m sorry that happened to you,” she told him. “You and Kawata helped my mother and I a lot. She told me later you’d been the one who suggested the exchange.” 

“I thought it’d benefit everyone involved,” he shrugged. “You and your mother could have a new life somewhere else, and Iemura would get their money.”

“And Jiro?” she asked cautiously. 

“I don’t know,” he shook his head. “They’re still looking for him, from what I heard.”

Jiro escaped them. She figured he would. He’s too cowardly to own up to his mistakes. It was why he forced Sakyia to do it. “I know this might sound harsh to say, but I hope they do find him,” she said. Knowing Jiro, he’ll crop up somewhere eventually. “He deserves whatever they give him.”

“That is a bit harsh-”

“-I’m sorry, but how do you two know each other?” Cobra asked a second time, a bit louder. 

“Sakyia’s mother sold her salon in Chikuni Bay to Kuryu,” he told him before Sakyia could intervene. “I heard she’s managing Sungmi’s salon though,” he looked at Sakyia. “I was just talking to Naomi, and she told me.”

“She is.” 

“Why did she sell her salon?” asked Cobra.

“Because we were moving,” Sakyia lied. “She couldn’t manage it from somewhere else, so she sold it to start over.” 

Cobra did not believe her. She could tell in the way he slightly raised his eyebrows. “I gotta go,” she said hurriedly. “It’s getting late, and my mom’s waiting. I’ll see you guys around.”

“Night,” Noboru said innocently. 

“Night.” 

She left the gas station before any more questions came up. Her mother waited for her at home, and she’d been out too long already. She didn't have time for anyone’s prying questions. 

Especially not Cobra’s.

[slowlyhardgoatee]

‘Wake up, faggot.’

I swam up out of the darkness, back to full consciousness. My head was splitting. I had no idea how long I’d been out. I tried to turn my head and felt something around my neck. I reached up and felt a light but strong steel collar. My hands, I realised, were also handcuffed.

‘You starting to get it now, pig boy?’ The voice belonged to a gruff-looking older guy, who stood in front of me with no shirt on, smirking down at me. ‘You ain’t going anywhere. You’ve been sold. No one knows where you are, and me and that Berkeley guy went through your pockets and divided up all your stuff between us. Burnt your clothes, destroyed and wiped your phone, and drained your bank accounts dry.’

I gazed at him in horror.

‘Hell,’ he said, adjusting his package and making sure I could see, ‘I even fucked a load up you while you were passed out. And let me tell you, faggot, you’ve got one accommodating cunt. No resistance when you’re passed out, you see. You took my thick cock to the fucking root on every thrust.’

Despite my situation, despite the collar and cuffs and my apparent destitution, his description of what he’d done to me while I was unconscious got me hard. He laughed at my erection. 

‘What do you think you’re gonna do with that thing, eh? You wanna jerk off?’

I nodded, and found my voice finally. ‘Yes please, Sir.’

‘Well, tough shit, faggot. You need my permission to even touch your pathetic excuse for a cock, and you won’t be getting it this side of the turn of the century, boy. The only reason your hands are cuffed in front of you, rather than behind your back, is because you’ll be playing with my nipples while I rape your faggot throat. But that’s all. You’re a faggot pig boy. You exist to be a slave for real men. There is no reason why you should ever need to touch your own cock again, boy. Now, sure, there’s a chance you might cum hands-free while I or anyone else is fucking you, and I guess there’s not really much we can do about that. But we won’t be acknowledging it. We won’t be slowing down, or stopping for you to catch your breath. We will be entirely ignoring the fact that you’ve cum. And we certainly won’t be helping you clean that shit up. In fact, if any of us get even a drop of your dirty faggot cream on us, you’ll be booted in the balls until you throw up, faggot. And once you’ve thrown up, the first phrase out of your pig mouth will be ‘Thank you, SIR.’ Is that crystal fucking clear, boy?’ 

I nodded. ‘Thank you, Sir.’ 

‘Good pig. Now, my cock’s obviously been up your twat, but I haven’t sampled your throat yet, boy. I also haven’t cleaned my cock off since fucking you, either. So let’s kill two birds with one stone, shall we? Open wide and suck me, slut.’

‘But I thought-‘ I began, and instantly received a hard slap. 

‘You must be mistaking me for someone who gives a fuck what you think about anything, cunt boy. The only reason I haven’t had a medical professional come in here and sever your vocal cords is because nothing turns me on more than a faggot begging me to stop while I’m raping him. So, again. Get my dick in your fucking mouth, faggot. Suck it nice and slow and deep. Lick all your pussy juice off my cock. And remember where your hands belong while you’re doing it. If you’re a good boy, I’ll let you remain conscious when I breed your cunt later. Again.’

‘Yes, Sir,’ I said. ‘Thank you, Sir.’ 

He took hold of my hands, and placed one on each of his nipples. Then he slid his bare cock into my mouth, and then forcefully rammed it into my throat. I gagged instantly. 

‘Yeah, fucking gag on it, boy,’ he said, laughing at me again. ‘I’m gonna train your cunt throat to take every inch of me. This time next week you’ll be a professional cock eater. You’re gonna go to sleep every night with the taste of my spunk in your fucking throat.’

I moaned as he thrusted deeper. 

‘Fuck that’s a sweet and talented mouth, faggot. I can’t wait to start passing you around and charging complete strangers to fuck you. And the less attractive you find them, the better, as far as I’m concerned. You are nothing but a public cunt, and you’ll have absolutely no input as to who gets to use you. Now hold still, boy, and tug on them fucking nipples for me. Sir’s gonna dump his fucking load. Fucking yeah… fuuuucking yeeeeaaaahhh, swallow the fucking lot, you CUNT.’ 

He creamed, grunting loudly as I gratefully swallowed every drop. I wanted to be upset at my new situation, but deep down I knew this was where I belonged, what I needed to be. A cum dump. A pig. A slave. No free will, and no thoughts beyond servicing Sir’s meat. 

As his cock came out of my mouth, I fell to all fours and bowed my head. ‘Thank you for putting this collared faggot in its place, SIR. I hope I can prove worthy of Your attention. I am nothing but a slave. Please, PLEASE treat me like one. Like the cum pig I am, Sir. I promise, I won’t let You down.’ 

‘Good boy,’ he said, and stroked my hair. ‘And you know what’ll happen if you do, don’t you, pig? You’ll beg me to boot your fucking balls off for you.’ 

‘YES, SIR!’ I shout. 

‘Welcome home, faggot. Right where you fucking belong.’ 

[starlightrosa]

Just found your blog and I looooveee your writing!! Your Fizz fic is so 🤌🏾🤌🏾!! Here’s a Welcome Home prompt if you’re still doing them; Lee! Eddie with Ler! Howdy, I can see Howdy just terrorizing the poor mail man for delivering the wrong package to him! I think their dynamic is like very funny 👏🏾👏🏾

Return to Sender

Summary: Eddie lands in a bit of ticklish trouble with a certain shop keeping caterpillar when the mailman hands over the wrong package. Wuh-oh.

Word Count: 1.9k

A/N: Thank you ever so much for the sweet words, Fluff! It warms my heart when people say they like my writing, best compliment one can get! I am sorry for the long wait, my lovely, but I do hope you like it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Howdy whistled a tune to himself as he moved the delivery crates from the truck and into his shop every morning, ready for the days business. The fruit barrels were set up near the door, the flowers by his counter, the vegetables ordered by colour, size, and in alphabetic order to boot. The sun wasn’t up yet, but Howdy was an early bird. Uh… early caterpillar.

“A for Apple, B for Banana, C for Cauliflower, D for Dill, E for Eggs! Now I know each ABC, who’s the smartest? Me, Howdy!” Howdy sang as he worked, ordering the foods neatly. Howdy liked a good bit of neatness in his store. It made it easier to find things, and it made his customers smile at the proud display. Howdy was a proud shopkeep. Quite honestly, best in all of the neighbourhood! Granted, he was the only shopkeep in all of the neighbourhood, but hey, it still counted.

Howdy folded each of his sets of arms, smiling proudly at the produce stands all lined up neatly. He turned to look at the clock hanging on the wall beside the door to the supply room. Eight in the morning. Prime time to open!

Howdy did his final checks before walking to the door, and flipping the sign upon his door from ‘Closed’ to ‘Open’. He smiled, his antennae wiggling proudly as he took his spot behind the counter. Howdy knew his customers and the time they arrived each day. Wally might be along soon. Perhaps Sally, for a new fabric reel for one of her costumes. Barnaby, for a hot dog.

Well, all of Howdy’s guesses were wrong. He soon heard a voice. Too jovial to be Frank. Too deep to be Julie, Sally, Poppy or Wally. Too Southern to even be Barnaby B. Beagle. No, that could only be-!

“Oh, hear the bells ringin’, a ding dong, ding dong! Feels like forever, but it ain’t been too long. Oh yes, honey, deliverin’ whatcha want, any time. Eddie the mailman don’t ask for a dime~!” came the soft voice.

Howdy found himself smiling. Eddie rarely ever sang on his rounds. He must be in a good mood. And Eddie’s happiness was contagious, for even Howdy felt himself smiling widely as the singing was comforting and welcoming.

“Oh, I don’t ask for a dime, no I do not indeed. Eddie the mailman’s got just what ya need. So come on by, friend! Don’t you be shy! Eddie’s here for ya, from mornin’ until-! WHOA!” Eddie continued singing, but that was cut short by a sharp gasp. Eddie soon tripped over a small rock in the road. His eyes were closed as he sang that jaunty tune, and then the poor mailman went face first into Howdy’s strawberry display. The mailman got himself up, his face comically coated in strawberry juice and the front of his shirt stained red.

“Oh gracious, Howdy! Ever so sorry, there!” Eddie stammered, backing up immediately. Howdy sighed. This was a regular occurrence, unfortunately. Eddie was a very clumsy individual.

“Howdy-do, Ed. You know, you really gotta watch where you’re goin’. You’ll get more bruises on ya than a banana before long.” Howdy said, trying to make light of the situation.

“Sorry, Howdy. I can’t seem to help trippin’ over things.” Eddie apologised. The poor mailman was very upset with himself.

“Hey now, Ed. No use cryin’ over it. What can I do for ya?” Howdy asked, a kind smile on his face.

“Oh right! Lemme just see here… I got a package for ya.” Eddie drawled, fishing in his mail bag for the package in question. Soon enough, he found it and presented it to Howdy. Howdy raised a fuzzy eyebrow as he curiously took it from Eddie and opened the wrapping. Out fell… art supplies.

Howdy looked at each of them. Paintbrushes of all shapes and sizes, some with softer bristles, markers, a soft washcloth too. Howdy didn’t really draw very often, so this couldn’t be for him at all. He suspected Eddie had given him the wrong thing.

“Eddie, pal… are you sure these are for me?” Howdy said slowly. “Wally might get more use from these. He’s an artist.”

Eddie’s smile slipped off his face as he looked at the label. The label on the package said it was for the business bug, but he was right. Howdy didn’t draw often at all, or have any need for this. Eddie felt himself get a little embarrassed.

“Aw, I’m sorry, Howdy. I musta given you the wrong thing again. Here, let me take ‘em back.” Eddie said, gently reaching out for them. But to his confusion, Howdy lifted the art supplies out of reach.

“Actually, scratch what I said. I might get some use from these after all.” Howdy mused, though an evil smirk began to grace the caterpillar’s face.

“But you ain’t an artist, Howdy. What possible use could you even get out of those? Hand ‘em back, and I can get ‘em to Wally!” Eddie implored, trying to reach up and get the supplies.

But that was when Howdy moved. He shot two arms out and caught Eddie’s hands, raising them above his head. “Gotcha, pal!”

“Hey now, Howdy! Let me go! I don’t have time for games!” Eddie responded, trying to gently get the businessman to let go of him.

Howdy used his other set of arms to get a paintbrush from the case he was given. While Eddie struggled, Howdy began softly stroking the paintbrush against Eddie’s stomach. Eddie tensed up almost immediately, a soft giggle leaving him before he could suppress it.

“Oh, don’t be tellin’ me you’re ticklish, pal. Is that right, Ed?” Howdy asked. Oh, this was going to be fun.

“Noho, that just ain’t true. Howdy, let gohoho!” Eddie shot back, giggles littering through his rich Southern accent as he squirmed in Howdy’s hold.

Howdy grinned and gently dragged Eddie to the floor, the caterpillar holding Eddie down quite easily. Ah, the fun of having four arms.

“You know, Ed. I think we should test these supplies before we hand ‘em off to Wally. Gotta make sure they all work the way they’re supposed to, I know Wally gets frustrated as anything if his supplies aren’t good enough to draw or paint with.” Howdy said, even as he gently pushed up Eddie’s shirt, revealing the fuzzy yellow belly underneath.

“Howdy, just what are you about to try?” Eddie asked, trying to wriggle out of the caterpillar’s grip but ultimately getting nowhere.

“Why don’t I test out these here paints first?”

Before Eddie could protest, Howdy dabbed a bit of paint onto one brush and began to paint Eddie’s belly. He had picked a green paint, drawing lines and curving the brush round on Eddie’s stomach, a move that made the mailman burst into laughter near instantly. “Guess what I’m drawing on ya, Ed! Come on, guess!”

But Eddie could not guess, being thrown into a world of laughter. He remembered when his mama used to tickle him when he was growing up, after she came home from her own mail deliveries. Eddie had thought he’d be less ticklish as he aged, but that wasn’t the case at all for the mailman. Rather, Eddie seemed to have gotten more ticklish since then.

“Oh gohohohosh! Oh, uh… ah! I-I don’t knohohow!” Eddie guessed, doing his best to wiggle about a bit in an effort to get Howdy to stop. But Howdy did no such thing.

“You don’t know? C’mon, Ed, you’re a smart guy.” Howdy teased, switching from green to red as he drew in the next part of this. “Hey, quit laughin’! You’ll make me colour outside the lines!”

“Buhuhuhut it tickles! Howdy, you’re tihihihicklin’ me!” Eddie yelped, trying to move away. But Howdy kept him down easily. Howdy finished doodling on Eddie’s tummy, his drawing of a flower resting right in the middle of Eddie’s stomach. Howdy then took that moment to gently flip Eddie on his stomach with one set of hands, the other set holding onto these art supplies.

“Okay, well the paints are definitely workin’. Now we just need to do the markers. Let’s play a game, eh Ed?” Howdy enquired, hoping Eddie would say yes.

“W-What kihihinda game?”

“Dead easy, really. It’s called Hangman. I’ll draw a word on your back and you have to guess the word. If you get all your guesses wrong, I win. But if you guess right, you win.” Howdy explained. It did sound fun…

“Fihihihine.” Eddie giggled, letting Howdy work his white shirt up. Thankfully, the strawberry juice seemed to have dried into his shirt, so Howdy didn’t get his hands stained. The shirt was a write off, though.

Howdy drew a series of little lines on Eddie’s back to make up two words. Both words, eight letters long.

“Alright, Ed. Gimme a letter. Any letter. You got twenty six to pick from.” Howdy said.

“Oh goodnehehehess… um, P.” Eddie said. Howdy snickered a little from above him.

“Not a P to be found, bud. Oh well.” Howdy said, slowly drawing the first section of the hangman’s platform. Eddie was thrown into laughter again as he felt the marker going over the divots of his ribs.

“HAHAHA! HOHOHOWDY!” Eddie cried out, squirming like anything. Howdy’s laughter from above let Eddie know that the caterpillar was having way too much fun with this.

“I’ll give ya the second word, because I’m a nice ol’ caterpillar. It’s what you work as.” Howdy smiled.

“Mailman! Mahahahailman!” Eddie guessed. His laughter grew louder as Howdy drew in the word.

“Nice! Now just one word to go.” Howdy reminded. “Pick a letter, Ed.”

“Uhuhuhum…” Eddie giggled, the feeling of the marker ghosting his ticklish back making it rather difficult to focus.

“I need an answer, Ed~” Howdy teased.

“Gah! Hahaha, oh no! Uh, R!”

“Aww, nope.” Howdy laughed, drawing the next section and the first part of the hangman diagram, the head. “I’d start getting them right, Ed, if I was you.”

Eddie’s honey rich laughter hit Howdy’s ears in response. But the mailman was nothing if not determined.

“Okay… ah, I’ll sahahay… the letter I.”

“Ah, nice. We’re gettin’ somewhere, bud.” Howdy smiled, drawing in two ‘I’ letters. “Got any other guesses?”

“T!” Eddie shot back, trying his best to keep his voice steady. Howdy nodded and drew in a T.

“Got any guesses yet, Ed?”

“I give up, Howdy! I give, it tickles too much!” Eddie gasped, barely able to stand this.

“Alright, fine. But the full phrase was… ticklish mailman~” Howdy snickered, before he set the supplies down and helped Eddie up, grinning wickedly.

“Well, think we can agree that Wally’s got some good quality art supplies coming his way. You better go wash up, Ed.” Howdy said, grinning. “You got strawberry juice all over ya.”

“You sure we don’t need a second opinion on those art supplies, Howdy?” Eddie asked, finally sending a playful grin of his own back to the shopkeep.

“Oh, I don’t think thahat’s nehehecessary, Ed.”

“Oh, but I think differently. You’re pretty ticklish too, ain’t ya Howdy?”

“Not true!” Howdy shot back.

“Oh, it is true. Get over here, Howdy~!”

“GET AWAY FROM ME, ED!”

“C’MERE, HOWDY!” Eddie called back, chasing after the caterpillar with Wally’s art supplies.

Safe to say, Wally got his art supplies a bit later than expected, and both Howdy and Eddie had pretty flowers drawn on their stomachs for a few days after that. But neither would have changed their friendship for anything.

The End!

[lorata]

I’m now just imagining Lyme and Brutus comparing stats and mocking each other over how many capitolites think they could take them in a fight. Misha definitely fans the flames somehow

re: this post

I wanted to get this done before the holidays, but my brain took a vacation, so. here's a late gift for everyone. enjoy!

It starts, as with so many things, with an envelope. Delivered with the monthly mail, wrapped in a crimson ribbon, containing a scant few sheafs of paper. Ronan, designated handler of unassigned packages deemed safe by the VA, slides his bone-handled knife along the top edge and removes the contents. He pauses while everyone in the room pretends they’re not trying to peek.

Misha has gotten better at her poker face. Not that she was ever bad at lying — she won her Games with the best damn grift the Arena had seen in a decade — but for a dedicated con artist who can, and has, literally fooled everyone around her to save her life, a ridiculous urge to gloat passes over her when the stakes are low. Devon will catch her peeking around corners or spying from the windows or cackling like a cartoon villain from behind the sofa just because it’s funny.

“You could get away with it if you didn’t do this,” he said once, when her wide grinning over a prank on Callista got her resigned to cat-box duty for an entire week. “I watched your Games in Residential. You even had the trainers fooled. Do you want to get caught?”

“Yes,” Misha said with exaggerated patience. “It’s half the fun. Some tricks are good when they’re anonymous, but most of them are better when they know who played them.” Then she snapped the top of the garbage bag open and closed so the scent of cat turds wafted up into Devon’s face, and he kicked her in the shin.

They agreed ahead of time, though. This one is only funny if it’s organic, and he made Misha swear. No gloating, no grinning, not a hint that they’re involved.

“Uh, okay, sure, but you’re the one who confesses to Daddy any time you think you’ll get in trouble,” Misha scoffed. “So maybe worry less about me.”

Sometimes he thinks Misha hit her head in the Arena.

But for now, Misha’s sneaking glances like the rest of them but also using the distraction to nick one of Callista’s brandy chocolates (which are also … BDSM-themed? one of them has handcuff-shaped drizzle, and that one is, okay well that’s just a buttplug). Devon definitely stares at Misha too long, which would usually be a tell, but this time it’s because she took the strawberry vibrator truffle and his brain refuses to process the entire scenario.

(Earlier Emory ate the vanilla clitoris Callista offered her without even blinking, and he knows he and Misha will be debating whether she recognized it for the next three days.)

“Fascinating,” Ronan says, blank-faced to the end, and passes the envelope to his left without another word. Devon wants to be him when he grows up.

Brutus, next in line — perfect, excellent, thank you Ronan — stares at the paper for a long time. Turns it over, holds it close to squint at it (he will never get glasses, but probably should have five years ago), before finally recoiling like a wet cat and exploding: “Well this is some bullshit!”

Devon loves his mentor so much.

“Give me that.” Lyme snatches the paper away, then reads aloud in an incredulous voice: “‘Which of the following Victors, if any, do you think you could beat in a fight if you were unarmed?’ … What the fuck?”

“It’s a Capitol poll.” Ronan, placidly signing a stack of photographs, adds. “They aggregated the data. You can see the full methodology on the last page. It’s quite fascinating.”

“Social science,” Adessa sniffs dismissively.

“7% of Capitol citizens think they could beat you barehanded,” Ronan continues in the same helpful tone, to which Adessa sits bolt upright and hisses out I beg your fucking pardon in a tone of such icy poison that everyone in the room reflexively sits back.

Devon does not make eye contact with Misha — if he does they’re made, they’re done for, it’s the end of the fucking line — but she has to know. They cannot get caught now. Adessa will skin them and use their hide for tasteful sofa cushion covers. It’s the most fun he’s had in months.

“Poor Seeder is at the bottom,” Lyme says, which, yeah, okay. There are older Victors, but she’s the only one who never made a single kill. “Respect to the 33% who think they couldn’t take her, though. Some decent self-reflection there.”

Brutus has his thundercloud face on, and Misha cocks her head to the side. “Who’s at the top?”

Lyme’s grin turns sharp. Claudius, not an idiot, catches on. “Oh, hey, yeah, boss, who’s at the top? Who’s the one nobody says they can fight?”

“Nobody, technically.” Lyme tosses the envelope to Claudius. “2% of Capitol citizens think they can win a fight against me.” She pauses long enough to give it significant weight. “Without weapons. But five percent think they can take the big guy over there.”

Misha lets out a laugh so startled and delighted it’s obvious she didn’t fix the numbers. Devon watches as Brutus squints at her, then huffs in irritation, satisfied at her genuine reaction.

And he’s right, is the thing. Misha didn’t sabotage Brutus’ numbers — Devon did.

Each of them agreed to a limit of one interference, and made a pact not to boost their own mentor in the ranks, as that would be far too obvious. What Misha clearly did not understand, but Devon does, is that as much as he idolizes his mentor, killing Brutus’ results is far, far funnier.

And now it’s Claudius’ turn to frown at the results. “Huh,” he says slowly. “More people think they can fight me than —“

To his credit, he stops, but nobody in this room was Reaped yesterday. Petra pushes herself off her chair and snatches the papers out of his hands without a word. “Interesting,” she says crisply. “Innnnteresting. 45% for Claudius, 38% for me.”

Huh indeed. Petra is very much a badass, but Devon would swear that nobody in the Capitol remembers the girl with the mace, covered with blood and screaming for survival —

Misha catches his eye and twitches her eyelid in the briefest of winks before turning back to her autographs.

Huh. Looks like both of them did something unexpected with their given sabotage.

“Okay look.” Claudius holds up both hands. “You are a stone-cold badass. You hold the kill record, I am not arguing your numbers. But forty-five? Half? Half the Capitol thinks they could take me?”

“Perhaps they read the question incorrectly,” Callista suggests. Lyme chokes on her brandy and gives her an absolutely murderous glare, but Claudius only blinks at her. And yeah, the day Claudius gets a sex joke on the first try is the day Lyme dances ballet in a tutu. “Never mind, darling.”

Petra scans the rest of the page, nose wrinkled. “23% think they could defeat Odair. It’s an even spread of 30% for the One siblings. Did they even watch the Games, or just buy the fashion spreads?”

A shared look flickers across the gathering, quick as lightning, before Petra glances up. “The people remember what they want to remember,” Odin says, an understatement for the century, but Petra screws up her face in distaste and does not argue. He glances over her shoulder, eyebrows creeping into his hair. “And we must assume there is something of the ego, as well. 12% for me, my goodness.”

The packet makes it around the circle with mostly predictable results, a few outliers — far too many people think they could fight Emory, a fact she takes with good grace and Petra with outrage, and Johanna Mason apparently has the Capitol unduly terrified for a woman her size. There’s a tense moment when Enobaria learns she’s second on the list to Lyme and everyone braces for a scrap, but she only scoffs.

“They’re afraid of carbs.” Enobaria rolls her eyes. “They think a seven-minute workout will give them muscles like Nero. They don’t know anything. If we really want to know who’s stronger we can take it outside anytime.” Lyme raises her glass in salute, a rare moment of camaraderie.

“So,” Devon says that night, curled around Misha under the quilt. They’ve cracked the window for air, and crickets sing in the grass below. “Did you tank Claudius, or boost Petra?”

Her cheek stretches in a smile against his forehead. “I’m not telling.”

“I can’t believe people actually think they can beat any of us in a fight, though. Even Caleb, or Woof. Have you seen him when he’s sleeping?” Devon yawns. “You walk past his chair and he’ll crack your kneecap with that truncheon he keeps in his cupholder.”

“Eh. It was good fun. Plus it’s nice to remind everyone we’re dangerous.” Misha runs her fingers through Devon’s hair, nails dragging lightly across his scalp. “We could kill them all, if we wanted. We just choose not to. That’s why they pretend like they could fight us.”

There’s something about that, Devon thinks, something Brutus wouldn’t like, but Misha’s hand is soothing and his blanket cocoon is warm, and he sinks into sleep before the thought can fully form. If he forgets in the morning it can’t be that important, anyway.

[anteroom-of-death]

Mistaken Identity

Synopsis: Malcolm is back in government. It's time for a budget. UNIT disapproves of their funding being cut. Whatever will happen?

a/n: two fics??? In the same year??? wow, prolific!!! And yes, this is leading to another fic, hopefully. In my mind several. I am pushing an agenda here, you'll see. Don't read if you dislike heavy language. It's a UNIT x The Thick of It crossover baby.

The meeting room echoed discordant with the sound of a water bottle being opened up. Conversation was at a near stand-still. The last time some one said something it was it was a string of epithets and a metaphor that fell apart rather quickly.

The Scot bore an aggrieved look into the head of UNIT. (another fine example of alphabet soup that needed pruned of government…) A heritage position, he noted. He remembered the last head. This was his daughter. A fussy little thing trying to be formidable. A hollow echo in regards to her father. At least he could give what was dished to him back. Or at least fucking take it with a grain of humor and salt.

Budgets were extra hard these days since some limp-dicked moron convinced the people that they needed to leave the EU.

Who knew putting the kibosh on the unrestricted travel and cheap trade of people, goods and services would backfire so spectacularly!

Malcolm was brought back in a snap election after the last man, who lasted slightly longer than a head of lettuce or that socially pure-secretly deviant blonde bitch. An old spin-doctor for a new Britain. Hopefully a better one. There were talks about whimpering to Brussels for a reunion ,or at least a better flow of things.

The pruning had begun.

And these absolute weapons were exceedingly aggressive. To show up, out of order. No forms for a proper meeting filed. Just showing up, guns nearly blazing, demanding a meeting with the cabinet.

Apparently he resembled some probably sterile expert they had on dial. At least seeing this cunt writhe at the differences between him and some bloke nicknamed “The Doctor” gave him a bit of fun. Or rather similarities.

Or lack thereof…

“I don’t mean that we don’t…care about the NHS or the fact that 62% of the country relies on food banks…it’s just a more pressing issue. We are attacked more than you’ll ever know by forces you can’t…we can’t even fathom.” She tried explaining diplomatically. Her little mate with an oversized rainbow scarf and horn-rimmed glasses swallowed, her chin dissolving into the mass of knitting.

“Oh, you don’t not care.” He snarled back pointing at her and switching his view point to the Prime Minister. “Oh that’s bloody so kind of her! Marie cunting Antoinette over here doesn’t not care. Alert the Sun and the Mirror! Let’s all eat cake made from fucking wishes and dreams! Tell the damn Guardian, print ‘Your children will die of hunger or scabies! But you’ll fucking be protected from forces you can’t fucking fathom!’”

“There’s really no need for that language.” Someone echoed with many in agreement.

“There’s no damn need for a fucking tax package the entire GDP of the Czech Republic.” Malcolm roared.

“Yes, we have to deal with-“ the current Prime Minister checked notes in an envelope, “Crumbling cement in schools and the maintenance of, “ He checked the notes again, “Lunar defense systems?” He grimaced. Unable to fathom why he went into politics at this point. The old guard, in the form of the Screaming Scot and the Head of some kind of Alien fighting organization both looking at him as if they knew exactly the time and place his body would be found if he didn’t appease either one. He really didn’t know what he was thinking when he was just a wee back-bencher almost several decades prior…

“Both seem vital in the process of protecting both King and country!” He tried a smattering of diplomacy.

Malcolm looked like he was going to launch himself at the PM. He automatically went to protect his teeth with his lips.

What came out of Malcolm’s mouth was almost a call for regicide threats and, for him, a thinly veiled death by spittle.

The meeting didn’t go as planned and neither side was happy.

UNIT declared, “We’ll be back when you lot see sense!”

And Malcolm trudged off to have a cup of coffee and wish he still smoked like he did in the 90s…

What kind of power did they get off having? He bemused as he remembered the first time this organization became relevant. (Despite bring in existence since the 60s.) It was after Jones and before that one that went mad after a week in power and killed the US president before getting shot by his own wife moments later. Malcolm thought that it was probably well-deserved. She looked like she was on the end of a battering or three at his hand.

Then things became less crazy. Then crazy again.

UNIT sopped up money and demanded more like a good piece of bread on a plate after a saucy meal.

This was the new Labour. Filled with Millennial and Gen z hopefuls that still had an ounce of morals and a smattering of hope for the future. All very tech dependent. He’d have a coronary coming out the shitter and seeing some puddle of them filming the next big viral dance video or hitting their vapes indoors.

Jokes on them, however. Their nicotine abuse would have them looking older than him within the decade.

A few days passed.

Malcolm went outside for a walk instead of launching basically his new Ollie Reeder out a window. These days, such activities would actually involve jail time. They’d go crying to the cops, the press and to mummy and there’d be actual repercussions for his actions…

His face crumpled into his hands as he leaned onto a bench.

Suddenly, like a bat out of fucking Hell, an armed battalion descended. Out of the mists and shouting, Kate Stewart emerged.

“Doctor, Zygons have returned! They’re in the sewers!” She shouted, helping a solider load him into a Range Rover.

He hadn’t the time to speak up or protest, the extreme speed and painful maneuvering they did in the process had winded him completely. He wasn’t a young man anymore. Such vast swathes of action upon his body weren’t so easy to recover from.

An iPad got shoved into his hand with screen glimmering. It was the entire sewage map for the south of England, some remarks showing something he had no fucking clue of.

“You’ve got the wrong fucking person, Twatty Katie.” Malcolm exclaimed, once he finally caught his breath.

Kate, slightly smugly sympathized: “Oh, do you have amnesia? This happened all the time in that one body of yours. Don’t worry.” She leaned over him and clicked a file. Basically a welcome back to being package. With this so-called Doctor’s faces glaring up at him and he whirled back to the so-called 12th face of his. The resemblance was frightening. Minus the poufy hair, which Malcolm wondered if he was a pouf, and the ageing rock star aesthetics, it was a perfect match.

Even down to the stress veins popped out.

He turned the iPad to her and put this man’s face next to his. “This ain’t fucking me, love. I’m not this fucking dude.” He thought maybe calling her love would get him one point. A little sweetness to dull the vinegar…

“Don’t play this game again! Time is of the essence! Call Clara! We can’t reach her!”

“Who the fuck is Clara?” He screamed, trying to slam his body into a door that would not unlock.

The Range Rover sped dangerously through the center of a roundabout. The entourage of Military vehicles followed in pursuit.

Malcolm slammed his palm into his forehead. The budget wasn’t stretched thin enough already!

The “love” didn’t work…

So he went back to his normal tactics of getting what he needed.

“Hey! Over-fucking-paid terrorists! You’re going to let me out before I take this ones fucking scarf and strangle you all so fuckin hard that you both see shitting stars before you go.” He pointed at Kate Stewart, jamming his finger into the space between them.

The words coursed out from Malcolm’s mouth the purest venom from a snake backed into a small space. Harassed, in a bad mood, plucked from his environment with no power except spray venomous spittle from his bared teeth and strike physically. Although the difference between a snake in a small space is that the humans that at least the snake had the power to permanently disfigure or kill it’s captors. Malcolm had no such luck. These people could wipe out his entire bloodline with a well-aimed barrage if he tried much of nothing…

After wearing himself our with his words, Malcolm resigned to fume silently.

Eventually the motorcade went into some underground bunker. He begrudgingly allowed himself to be dragged out and into it.

The taxpayer would flip their fucking lids if they got wind of that. He was gagged by the impressive size that seemed to defy all logics of physics and Euclidean mathematics. It was bigger on the inside!

He was led into a meeting room, cold water as well as cappuccino heaped with enough sugar to overwhelm an entire preschool’s population was waiting for him.

A team of scientists and soldiers seemed expectant. Like he was to give orders. Usually he loved giving orders. But this was the rare case he didn’t.

What little he gleaned from the iPad was that he resembled the most recent face of some shape-shifting Alien. Said alien had been working with them since the 70s. What was the immigration procedures for extraterrestrials, he felt himself wondering.

Of course the Tories previously to his regime would fucking allow a alien to live in the country and get such reverence. But not the untold number of decent fuckers fleeing absolute shit shows. He had a right mind to ring every prime minister and drive them to an assisted suicide.

“I’m Malcolm, not this fucking poof!” He grabbed at the iPad from Kate and tried to point at it. As if that would drive his point in a tad bit.

“Has he placed himself in a chameleon arch? Martha Jones mentioned these…” one scientist speculated.

“Jesus Christ…” Malcolm muttered rubbing his eyes and scratched his bridge of his nose. This was the point of no return for his already fragile sanity. He groaned.

He yet again resigned himself to one more, this time under his breath, string of expletives.

“What can I do to get me to leave this fucking doomsday bunker quickly?” He asked frankly.

“We have to train our eyes at these ships.” The screen flashed on, showing some massive blobs just past orbit of the Earth.

“They resemble our latest intel on Zygon space craft. Lower profile. They may be coming back on second thought from our last encounter…”

Malcolm groaned deeper.

“…and we may have to escalate and start an interplanetary war this time. Especially if the one leader still can shape shift into your associate, Clara and several of our employ. They could triangulate much of our defense systems using what’s blank in their retrieval of memory.” Some twee bitch in a cardigan and hipster glasses lectured.

“Yeah, just don’t do that.” He responded.

A flash of this associate, Clara, came onto the screen. He remarked that she was a hot piece of ass. He could see why this Doctor kept around. Smart and attractive. All big brown eyes and soft-looking skin…

They probably weren’t able to be reached for this fucking clusterfuck because he was shaft deep in her in some exotic, possibly off-Earth location. So he had to do. Fucking lovely.

Interplanetary war sounded expensive and deadly. Especially with shape shifters. Were all aliens shape-shifting? Were humans the only honest species that stuck to their same face that they were born with? (Minus plastic surgery.) (But even then…)

“Just fucking monitor them. Don’t pull the trigger until you see the whites of their eyes.” He waved his hands and dismissed.

“And what if they’ve already started invasion?”

“Put the fucking kettle on and entertain them until they get annoyed and fuck off on their own. I have faith in your abilities there!” He swathed, pointing absolute daggers at Kate.

Kate did some sort of hand signal.

“And do you think monitoring them is important? Important enough for finding loopholes for funding?” Ah, it was a trap.

“Well fucking played, Stewart!” He tossed the now-cold coffee at her and slammed down the cup, shattering it. He skittered the chair he was sat on backwards. It hit the wall with a huge crash-bang.

“We had no other choice, but to show you how important our work was!” She tried to reason.

“You cunt faced cow! Take me back now or I’ll make sure UNIT never fucking sees a pound of funding no matter what happens. I’ll sure as shit make legislation that fucking forbids you from so much as getting a penny!” He roared.

“So we have a deal?”

“For fuck’s sake!”

“We’ll release you if you give us funding…”

“Fucking fine, fuck, I’ll tell them to not cut the damn funding! We’ll gouge the normal armed forces. But if the rate of homelessness rises even a quarter of percent, I’ll order a goddamn drone strike on your fucking family’s estate. You hear that? Loud and fucking succinctly clear? You cockswabber?” He slammed his hands down in resignation.

Sometimes politics is about difficult choices and compromise, even if it means harming your constituents.

It went against Malcolm’s ethos, but at least he’d be free from this hell!

“We have your word, Tucker?” Kate edged closer, cautiously.

“Fucking, fine, yes, you do.” He slumped onto the ground, kicking a piece of shattered porcelain cup. The words came slow and sputtering.

“Good.”

Here’s led, crestfallen and slaw-jawed back to the motorcade and escorted back to 10 Downing. He went to the loo and looked at his reflection before splashing cold water in his face. He felt like he looked fifteen times older and ten times more grey than he did this morning. He pinched the edge of his nose and worked on his breathing.

He steeled himself before bursting into the Prime Minister’s office.

“So that damn budget proposal…” He drawled, a bit of the cup still lodged between his nail, dragging in the pain of that which was announcing, “…I have a cheeky fucking rework…”

[because-she-goes]

chocolate

warnings: none, just fluff. Enjoy!

What do you get for the boy on the other side of planet who has everything he could ever possibly want. What do you get the girl all the way back in America who could simply thrift or create whatever she needed.

The answer they both came up with was flowers. Matty’s being a classic romantic and liked red roses. Nora loved daisies and how summery they were. They also decided on dessert deliveries. Matty sent muffins for his muffin and Nora sent him the unreal brownies he loved from her place in New York.

So, now here we are. April 8th, 2017. Matty’s 28th.

Matty woke up that morning in his London home, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. They had started work on the next album, still untitled. Him and George were pulling late nights and drinking too many redbulls. His plaid pants hung low on his hips and he pulled on a robe, his house freezing. Going to make his morning cup of tea, he starts checking his phone for any overnight emails or texts from Jamie… he sees a missed call from Nora from last night at about 10pm - 3am London time. He checks the clock and sees its only about 5:30am there, Nora won’t be up for hours. Other than that, no immediate fires that need to be put out. Sipping his tea, he walks to the front door and grabs his newspapers - all the boys collecting them for album material. He loves these types of mornings - slow, relaxed, sleepy. He just wishes Nora could be with him, she had a work meeting tonight with a friend she had who was interested in commissioning something. She told him she would be getting the next flight out of New York in 2 days. He couldn’t wait. Her presence alone making the concrete house feel warm and comforting - like raspberry iced tea and summer time. He worked on a demo for a few hours and by the time lunch rolled around, his doorbell rang. Who could that be? He didn’t order anything and wasn’t expecting anyone. Matty swung the door open, and didn’t see the royal mail person there. Just a box with a note. Looking around again, shrugging his shoulders and picking up the box wrapped in twine with his name and address in a beautiful caligraphy.

Taking the package up to his kitchen, he unwraps it and the note falls to the ground. He takes the card and unfolds it. He inhales sharply when he recognizes the handwriting.

“To My Matthew,

Happiest of birthdays, Handsome! I am sorry I could not be there in person, but figured in the interim before my arrival you’d like a little piece of me. I love you so much, more than the English language will ever be able to articulate. I organized some things to arrive for you today so hopefully you like them. The first of which is a package of brownies from the bakery you love down the street from me, and before you even ask I did get the oreo ones you go nuts for. Don’t spoil your appetite, handsome… the boys’ll be round later to take you out. Have fun and again, I love you more than you’ll ever know.

Xx always,

Your Nora”

Matty was misty eyed, no-one had ever thought to send him something overseas when he was away. No girlfriend ever going that far for him. Putting that out of his brain, not wanting to get too emotional this early in the afternoon he tore open the box of brownies. The decadent smell of chocolate and candy filling the space around him, Matty thew his head back in bliss. “You’ve done it again, Downey!” He says to the universe - hoping someway she hears him. Munching on the brownie, he calls her.

“Well, good morning birthday boy! Gotten any of your gifts so far?” Her peach sweet voice comes through the line after a few rings.

“And a lovely afternoon to you, Honey! Yes actually, the brownies just came. Half already gone I’d like to report. Best brownies ever! What else is in store may I ask, beloved?”

“Oh, you’re good Matthew. I will be honest, I may have ordered a pack for myself to get delivered to the studio later. They truly are god’s gift to baking. As for the rest of the agenda, that is for me to know and for you to find out. Wouldn’t exactly be a birthday surprise if you knew, now would it, Handsome?”

“No it wouldn’t, Darling… Just know that when June rolls around and I’m locked away in a writing dungeon, I am gonna outdo whatever you have 10 fold.”

“You got yourself a challenge, Handsome.” She smiles. “Okay, I gotta run. I love you baby and happy birthday, I’ll be there before you know it.”

“Okay, good luck, Honey! I love you and am counting down the minutes.”

With that, another ring of the door bell comes as Matty hangs up the phone. Before him he sees a floral van and a young girl nervously holding a delicate bouquet of red roses and what look to be little bits of eucalyptus and white hydrangea. Oh, she knows him way too well, he thinks as he opens the door to the teenager.

“A Matty Healy?”

“I’m him! Thank You, doll. Have a good day!” He says to the girl as he tips her a few pounds and shuts the door softly. He grabs a vase and holds the flowers to his nose, he sighs in content. She really does know him incredibly well, a perfectly beautiful yet subtle arrangement.

Matty enjoys the rest of his day, texting her a picture of the brownie box now empty once the boys came and the flowers in their vase on his kitchen table. He blushed as she sent a kiss emoji and a “all for you, birthday boy <3”. Maybe 28 wasn’t going to be so terrible after all.

June in New York, Nora Downey turned 25 as the clocks struck 3:51am on the 16th.

She awoke quite differently than her other half. She slept through her alarm and wokd up a whole hour later for an appointment with her therapist. Calling the office, she rescheduled for the following day and was told it wasn’t any issue. Deciding to grab some coffee and swing by the local bookstore for her monthly magazine grab. Getting some copies of i-D magazine, DORK, Rolling Stone, British Vogue and British GQ. Heading back home excitedly to read her magazines, she gets a call from Matty.

“Hey baby, hows your birthday going? Doing anything fun today?” She smiles at his voice and the petname.

“Uhh, just heading home to read some magazines and things. Then maybe go to my painting and wine class!” He wishes he could be with her, but things with the album and the guys wanting to go to the countryside for the summer to write and work was just getting a little hectic. He does appreciate though that she is atleast doing something for her day, she raves about these wine and paint classes she started years ago. He still kept his plan of sending her a little something to her apartment, but she must have not seen it yet.

“Oh, that sounds fun! Me and the guys were gonna drive up north today and work at that studio I mentioned last week. Maybe I can facetime later and we can have a little virtual dinner date, yeah?”

“Sounds lovely, Handsome. I’m almost home by the way so sorry if this cuts out or if I go quiet trying to get upstairs.”

“Not a problem, take your time, Muffin.”

Getting to her building and clicking the button for the elevator she is shocked when she reaches her door.

“Healy, what have you done? Oh my god, don’t tell me you actually went through with the thing I joked about in Apri…”

“Oh, yes I did, Baby! Hope you love them, gotta run! Happy Birthday and I love you most!”

“Impossible, Handsome!”

Hanging up, grabbing the gorgeous bouquet of roses and daisies and the box she slides her keys in and kicks the door open. Knocking it closed, she carefully puts down the gifts on her entry table next to her key dish. Running to grab the cold champagne she keeps in case of emergencies from her fridge, a glass and a vase she makes me way back to the entry for the flowers. Setting the vase down on the living room table, she fills it with water and the flowers. Pouring her champagne, getting the box and magazines she sets up her afternoon. Nora goes to her bedroom, slides off her overalls and throws on a flannel shirt she stole from Matty and jean shorts. Gathering her hair in a ponytail and walking back to her idea of heaven, she sits comfortably on the couch. Snapping a picture of her and her treasures, she sends it to Matty - fully knowing its gonna drive him crazy that she’s in his shirt alone in her apartment.

“Couldn’t ask for a better start to 25 xx” She presses send and takes a bite of the incredible chocolate swirl muffins. She couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend.

[mephinomaly]

[TL] Lady-killer in the Midst of Good Fortune/Chapter 3

Time: The next day

HiMERU: (A luxury coffee blend only available from the vending machine…HiMERU will have it.)

(...Hm? This vending machine has a prize to be won. The roulette is spinning.)

8, 8, 8—8?

(Fantastic, HiMERU got all the numbers…There’s no need to wait around. Since HiMERU won, he gets to pick another drink.)

(However, this one coffee is plenty for HiMERU…hm?)

—Hakaze-senpai, perfect timing.

Kaoru: HiMERU-kun? Do you have something for me?

HiMERU: HiMERU won the vending machine roulette. He has around 20 seconds to choose another drink.

Would you like to pick your favourite drink?

Kaoru: Eh. Is that alright~? This time limits come just to confuse me.

Then, don’t mind if I do…I’ll have the juice ♪

Sorry that I just happened to be passing by.

HiMERU: No, HiMERU wouldn’t have known what to do with the extra so Hakaze-senpai came just in the nick of time.

Kaoru: Anyhow. This is the first time I’ve seen a vending machine with roulette. It’s crazy that you won.

HiMERU: HiMERU agrees, he did not think he would win. The likelihood of one isn’t high.

Kaoru: It’s that good luck of yours. Maybe it’s Inaba-kun the white rabbit’s power ♪

HiMERU: …Why do you know that name, Hakaze-senpai?

Kaoru: Rei-kun was talking about it last night when he came home. Saying that something along those lines happened at today’s recording.

When I heard about it, I thought it was pretty weird for a rabbit to read someone’s future.

Running into you here must be the reality of your good luck, HiMERU-kun. The fortune-telling was right…or so I think.

HiMERU: I see, is that how it is? Well, it was certainly strange to have Inaba-san jump onto HiMERU’s lap…

HiMERU doesn’t think that fortune-telling will bring extreme luck.

Winning the roulette was also something of a coincidence… HiMERU believes it to be just a rare event.

Kaoru: Yeah? If it happened to me, I’d just take it as it is. Much more fun that way.

Well, you just said your winning was also something of coincidence. What other lucky things have happened to you?

HiMERU: —Nothing that can be counted as super lucky.

However, on the way home from the TV station, there wasn’t a single red light.

And Nagumo was playing a game, and HiMERU pulled for him and was called a “God Gamer.” That was somewhat lucky.

Kaoru: Ehh, is that so?

Maybe you’re gonna get even luckier from now on~? I mean, you were told to “please prepare for tomorrow”, right?

HiMERU: You’re quite informed on the situation.

Kaoru: Ahaha, sorry? Rei-kun likes to gossip, and I’m a good listener ♪

…Anyway. The resting room has got some snacks, right?

HiMERU: Ah, yes, there is. Someone’s set up a dagashiya[1], with hard candy, gum, etc.

Kaoru: Hey, how about trying out your luck?

Well, even if you win, I guess you’ll say it doesn’t really mean anything.

HiMERU: –Mhm. As a thanks for taking the juice, HiMERU will give it a go.

Kaoru: Let’s see… hard candy, gum, chocolate, gummies. Any of those are fine, so let’s just choose a few at random.

HiMERU: Alright…

Kaoru: Oh? You picked the one in front of you and one on the top without much thought.

HiMERU: It would not be a proper test of luck if HiMERU deliberated on it.

Kaoru: I see. If HiMERU-kun’s actually lucky, you’ll be able to win another.

HiMERU: HiMERU doesn’t himself believe in it, but if that’s how it is. Shall we open it right now?

Kaoru: OK. With this kind of thing, it’ll say on the inside of the bag or package as to whether you've won or not~.

Woah, the gummy I opened was a win! How about yours, HiMERU-kun?

HiMERU: …Both the hard candy and the chocolate are a win.

Kaoru: Eeeh. Wait a sec. You haven’t open the gum yet, do it now—

HiMERU + Kaoru: “You won”...

Kaoru: …No way. I just made a suggestion but it actually worked. What a twist.

HiMERU: —HiMERU agrees. It’s quite troubling how far these coincidences are going.

Kaoru: Is it really a coincidence…? Since, y’know, your good luck has already started.

HiMERU: No, HiMERU is positive, these are all coincidences. Besides, we don’t know how many of these candies are meant to be wins in the first place.

Kaoru: Well… I opened some gum and chocolate just now and neither of them were wins.

Honestly I’m a little disappointed. I thought I could ride your wave of success as well…!

…Guess that’s just how it is. You don’t seem very pleased with these continued wins.

I could tell with every word you said. You’re the type of person who won’t believe in divination no matter how good the results are, right?

HiMERU: …HiMERU supposes you could say that.

HiMERU’s own words and actions, versus third parties— As for the current situation, it’s fortune-telling but…

It’s a force outside oneself, that you can’t see. It’s uncomfortable to be viewed from a pre-decided point of view.

HiMERU will decide for HiMERU’s self.

Kaoru: Hmm… Is that how it is for you?

Well, everyone’s entitled to their own opinion. HiMERU-kun can keep thinking it’s just a coincidence if he wants—

???: Aah! HiMERU-senpai’s here…!

I finally found him! Sakuma-senpai, over here!

HiMERU + Kaoru: ...?

basically they’re these shops that sell super cheap sweets for like 20 yen? and often on the inside of the packaging it might say youve won!! and then you get another one for free

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[oh-surprise-its-me]

Phanie and I talked about for their first anniversary Tom and Ron get Chris a puppy. So here’s that…

@aki-draws-things

They had used so many favors. Tom whipped out blackmail he had been keeping for months. But by god they got the next week off.

Tom swings by David’s house after work. Has to pick up the ‘package’ thank fuck for David keeping Chris at the station late today. Tom takes the box from Lucas with a laugh. Ron refused to come along for this.

Ron is at home cooking. Traditional food from both of them. Polish and some classic southern foods.

When Tom opens the box he can’t help the small gasp he gives. He had met the little darling earlier the week but good god is she adorable. God Chris is going to lose his mind.

-

“I’m homeee!” Tom and Ron grin at each other. They both know the greeting isn’t for them. It’s for the two cats. Chris comes into the kitchen holding the two of them. “Holy shit why are you two here?” Ron grins at him. Chris had obviously assumed that this morning was the only anniversary celebration.

Tom takes a cat from Chris. The other one practically throws itself at Ron. Tom leans down and kisses Chris slowly. “Figured we would surprise you. Got a full week off.”

Chris gasps. He throws his arms around Tom’s neck. “How? No don’t answer that. I don’t have a week off though?” Ron shakes his head, he loops his arms around Chris’s waist. “Yeah you do. David worked his magic.”

Chris spins around in their arms, both cats had been dropped back to the floor during the conversation. “We would’ve taken you somewhere but we got a gift that couldn’t travel.”

Chris blinks at Ron. “What the fuck.”

Tom laughs. He kisses Chris’s neck. “Don’t worry you’ll love it. But dinner first.”

Chris puts his hand blindly behind himself. One arm around Ron’s neck the other around Tom’s. “Are you sureee? I can’t even convince you two to have another sort of celebration?” Ron pinches Chris’s hip. “Later pretty boy.”

Chris makes a sound that would be described as indecent. Tom kisses his neck again and pulls him to the table.

They all end up feeding each other bits of food. It’s a good dinner. Relaxing in a way they don’t get super often.

-

Afterwards when they’re in the living room Chris runs to grab his gift for them. They in turn grab their gift.

Chris freezes when he sees the box. He passes them the bag. “Open yours first.”

Tom and Ron smile at each other. They pull the paper out to find photos.

Fuck.

Those are insane photos. Tom blushes. “Who the fuck took these?” Ron nods he keeps flipping through them. “Who got to see you like this.”

Chris can only laugh. “Lucas. He’s a magician with a camera. Don’t worry he’s sworn to never tell David.”

Ron and Tom both go silent, they can only stare at the photos. Both are grateful. They’ll have incredible photos to have on the ship when they’re away from Chris for so long.

They both slide over to the couch and kiss Chris. They get a little distracted before the box makes a thud sound.

Chris jumps. “What the fuck.” Tom smiles at him. “Open it baby.” Chris leans down and pulls the top off the box. He gasps. Tears come into his eyes.

He pulls the puppy out. It’s a little golden retriever. Chris has actual tears running down his face now. The puppy is licking them. Ron makes a small noise of worry. “You like it right.”

Chris can’t stop staring at her. He’s so happy. “I love it oh my god. You two got me a puppy.”

Tom nods and kisses him. “All yours. Now you see why we didn’t take you on a trip.” Chris shudders. He yanks Ron down into a kiss. “You two are fucking incredible I love you both.”

Almost like the puppy knows she’s being ignored she gives a small yip. “Oh yes baby you’re so right I love you too.”

Ron looks at Tom over Chris’s head. “She’s allowed to sleep in the bed.” Tom and Chris both gasp. “No way what? Did you hit your head?” Ron gently flicks Chris’s ear. “She was mostly Tommy’s idea think of the bed thing as my personal gift to you.”

Chris kisses the puppy’s head. “Does she have a name?” Tom shakes his own head. “Nope all yours to name.”

Chris stares at her for a second. “Sage? Or Bluebell. Bell for short? I dunno what do you two think. She’s our kid now.”

Ron shudders a bit at the kid remark. Knows they all want a kid can’t lie and say that’s most of the reason why he agreed to a puppy. “Sage. It’s cute. Easy to call.” Tom nods he pulls out a bag of dog things. He passes over a pink collar. “Figured we could get Sage a different one if you want but this’ll work for a while.”

Chris wipes the rest of the tears off his face. “I really love you two. Thank you for an incredible anniversary. Hell for an incredible year.”

Ron and Tom both lean down and kiss Chris’s head. Tom brushes a hand over Sage’s head. Ron gives it a small pat.

-

That night they have to fight for space on the bed. Who knew a small puppy could take up so much room. They end up with Chris in between with Sage curled on his chest. Tom and Ron are awake longer then Chris and Sage are. They kiss over them. “Thank you for an incredible year. For letting me join and loving me.”

Ron brushes the small tear that escaped Tom’s eye. “Don’t thank me. Of course I love you. Always have always will. Thanks for being incredibly patient with me.”

They both lay back down. They put their arms over Chris. They hold hands over him. Tom kisses Sage and then Chris’s head. Ron quickly follows.

Ron knows a puppy means torn shoes and so much for fur but hey. If it makes them this happy he’d get them three more puppies.

(He wouldn’t that would genuinely kill him. But the sentiment is there.)

[booksandbo]

Imagine: Remus with children

“So what’s all this?” Remus came home from a Order mission late on a winter day.

“I think you’re gonna wanna sit down.” You looked at him with a smile, a small package in hand.

“If you’re gonna ask for a divorce before we even get married…just tell me and I’ll be gone” Your hands met carefully and you stepped back.

“Uh ok” he slowly opened the small package, Lily had suggested white like she had with James a month prior.

“Do you like it?” His head nodded very quickly, looking at you with tears filling his eyes.

“We’re gonna be parents?” He smiled at you, arms wide for you to come to him.

“Yes Moony, we’re gonna be parents!” He squeezed you tighter and then let go.

“What about the full moon’s? Will you be safe?” His eyes have way to incoming fear of what will be your future.

“Yes love, we’ll be safe. Plus, every time I’m with you lot….you get protective of me and hopefully one day it’ll be your kids. I think they could be great, maybe a bunny like me or a big rough wolf like yourself but not bitten” He smiled as you reassured him that your life wouldn’t be at stake with his lycanthropy.

“Have you told anyone else?” He asked politely.

“I told the girls, Lily was the one who had the idea for the box cause she did the same with Prongs- but nope, you boys are the last to find out” You moved to hug him tighter.

“Well best get on with it then, you know how dramatic Sirius is” You both laughed before walking towards the fireplace.

————————————————————————

Remus hung back at the door, hearing 4 seperate giggles in the house. Three belonged to your darling triplet girls and one to yourself.

“Know what? Your father’s gonna be home soon and I reckon we could all use something sweet….brownies work” the girls giggled again as you’d gone to the kitchen and he’d walked through the door.

“Bunny I’m home!” He removed his shoes and placed his jacket that covered his jumper over on the hooks.

“Hello love, how was Poppy? She let you out earlier this time” Last night had been the full moon, his first without his bunny.

“She was good, asked how our three were doing and also gave me some medicine for you and for me” You walked into the room to see him playing with your young girls.

“Well, should I ask what was for me…cause I know yours is for pain relief” You gave him a pointed look.

“If you look in the bag I put onto the table, it is simply “something for women”as she put it” you summoned the bag towards you wandlessly.

“She made something for stretch marks?” You asked a little confused.

“ I suppose it’s one of the things from those healer classes she’s doing to help the 7th years when they graduate, but she said it’s the best one she got besides her own” you looked at both balms carefully.

“I’ll take it! I’ll make sure to tell her thanks the next time I do see her” you said as you went back to melting chocolate for the brownies.

————————————————————————

“Hey look it’s the owl!” Your girls had been looking forward to their Hogwarts letter’s which would inform them of their official education with their father.

“Thank you love, here’s a treat” you gave the small owl some nuts for the three letters it had given you.

“Alright! We have one for Maeve, one for Luna and one for Minnie” You passed them out to the three girls, you stood back to watch the chaos unfold with your husband.

“MUMMY WE GOT INTO HOGWARTS!” Maeve was the first to yell.

“DADDY DOES THAT MEAN YOU’LL BE TEACHING US?” Luna excitedly yelled, she’d always been the closest to Remus.

“Yes I do believe that means I get to teach my girls” you all hugged each other as you also grabbed Maeve’s letter she still held to read what they needed for their first day.

“I don’t understand how Mcgonagall sends these out so late- I just know we’re gonna have a row with the Malfoy’s if they’re around” You mumbled to your husband.

————————————————————————

“You know what house I want to go into?” Luna said out loud.

“Which one?” Her sister Maeve stood on her left, Minnie on her right.

“Gryffindor like dad, or Slytherin like mum….break the streak even and be a hufflepuff” Luna laughed at the end.

“Hey don’t laugh at the Hufflepuff’s, they’re meaner than you’d think” You said as you walked to the brick wall, Remus was already at the school awaiting not just his girls but the other students coming back or beginning at Hogwarts.

“What do you mean?” Minnie looked at me just as we ran into the wall for the train.

“I was almost put into Hufflepuff, and your Uncle Sirius’ cousin is in there too….her mother is also a Slytherin” you looked at all your girls.

“Now can we go on the train mummy?” Luna jumped excitedly.

“Fine fine, have fun loves. And if you see your father, remember to tell him you love him too?” You smiled as they all ran towards the train to find a spot.

————————————————————————

“Dear mummy,

You wouldn’t believe it, but the hat put us into seperate houses! I have no doubt dad will send a howler about it but I wanted you to hear it from us first. I ended up in Gryffindor, Luna in Ravenclaw and Maeve is in Slytherin,

Love Minnie”

You read the letter twice over before another two letters and a howler arrived.

“Alright, better send a howler back. Surely Minnie will be fine for receiving them all?” You walked back to the study and started to compose a howler for your girls.

————————————————————————

“Oh look the owls have come in! Minnie why is there a howler coming in our direction?” My newest friend, Sarah, had asked as it dropped right in front of me.

“Oh god, what has mum written us?” I looked up to see my father rather curious until he got his own letter.

“Good job loves! You’ll all get your own magical experience at Hogwarts, together or apart! I can’t wait to hear more from you Minnie, and hopefully SOMETHING from the other girls- see you, love you, bye!” (Yes I got that from TikTok)

“MINNIE! You told her? ALREADY???” Luna moved fast from the Ravenclaw table and her sister from the Slytherin table.

“Alright, you three outside. NOW!” Professor Remus Lupin, our father, never got mad unless needed….we either just got into big trouble or he wants to scare us.

“Look, you three can’t go about fighting between houses- especially you two” pointing at me and Maeve “and you know why. I’ve told you how bad house wars go, especially if they start early like with me and professor Snape back when we were kids. Now I want you to for the love of Merlin, follow the rules, be nice and wrote to your mother?” Our dad had rushed out very quickly.

“Yes dad” We hugged each other quickly and went back into the Great Hall but before we completely back inside our dad whispered “your mothers pregnant again…oh my god”