#hi what a weird fucking thing to say to a total stranger

[ratbastarddotfuck]

is this nonbinary person actually "male presenting", or did you just decide that based on your arbitrary idea of maleness?

is this nonbinary person actually "female presenting", or did you just decide that based on your arbitrary idea of femaleness?

perhaps they're just "presenting" as themselves and your binary biases are clouding your judgement?

[princessbrunette]

shittysoundcloudrapper!jj was persuasive and he knew it. it took barely any convincing anyway, his pretty best friend was just so whipped for him.

“look all i’m sayin’ is all this could be yours.” he fans the money out, staring you down with the ghost of a smirk as you lounge on his bed. you push your mouth into the corner, considering his offer as you fiddle with the hem of your skirt. it’s not that you didn’t trust jj, you did — you’d just never been so exposed before. his friends would hear this song, strangers would hear this song — you almost couldn’t believe he was asking to record your moans as a backing track for his beat. as you think, your smile grows — the blonde creeping towards you until he’s stood right infront of you, looming over your curled seating position.

“c’mon mama, you smell that?” he caresses your face with the wad of money, running it over your cheek and beneath your nose. “yeah. that’s that paper. hard earned benjys. you wanna help me out, don’t you? know you do.” he cooes and you’re hypnotised, nodding your head with fluttering lashes. it’s times like this he was glad to have you under his thumb.

it’s later on in the evening that things are ready to commence. perhaps when you’d agreed to help jj out, he wasn’t quite clear on the task at hand. yes, he wanted your moans for his backing track — but he didn’t want you stood infront of a mic, awkwardly recreating a scene from pornhub premiums. no, he was after the real deal. authenticity. method acting, so he called it.

“‘cus like, i’on know what’s worse. a chick faking an orgasm when you’re fucking her, or faking it just for the sake of your music. nah, i think… we’re close enough to make the real thing happen. like — for artistic expression… purposes.” he explains as he sets up his little mic, pulling a pair of headphones over his ears to check the sound. “check, check.” he drawls into the mic before nodding in approval.

“so how are we gonna…” you furrow your eyebrows, always having been on the more innocent side of the sex spectrum. before you even get to attempt to verbalise your confusion, the blonde lifts his head — responding like it was no biggie.

“oh, i can totally go down on you. ‘f’thats cool.” his tongue darts out to swipe at the corner of his mouth and you feel your eyes widen. “really you just gotta lay there n’hold the mic. easy as shit.” he shrugs, finally sitting down and looking at you expectedly as you gawk.

“wait, really?” you giggle. you’d thought about it many times, jj maybank between your legs — but now it was all too real, and you didn’t know it would be happening so out of the blue, practically a business proposition. he’s in your space again, cupping your cheek in that way that was far too familiar to just be friendly.

“look — babe, you don’t gotta worry about things being weird, alright? i’m a munch, like actually — aaaand, are you tellin’ me right now, you would say no to a little head? i mean if you don’t want me to eat it you can always y’know, DIY—” he gestures a circular rubbing motion with his middle and ring fingers, alluding to getting yourself off instead. “little dj action. just need the moans to be real. m’going all out director mode here.” somehow, the thought of touching yourself infront of jj was more humiliating — so you shake your head, sucking on your lip in thought.

“no, you can do it.” you whisper and he grins.

“yeah? atta girl. what a team player.” your best friend praises before kissing you quickly on the mouth. something he always did, platonically — but now made your heart speed up a ridiculous amount.

as you lay back shakily on the bed, you think back on the lyrics scrawled in messy handwriting in the notebook he’d leave lying around — the contents pointing to him really being about that eating pussy life. something like ‘sucking all on her clit like it’s my lifeline — she asked to return the favour, already got mine’ underlined in red biro.

it’s a blur after he hits record, kissing on your thighs making you giggle and rubbing you until there’s a wet spot through the cotton of your panties. you know he’s smiling, because you can feel the upwards curve of his mouth when he starts kissing you through the fabric. you’re pleasing him just from letting out the sweetest whimpers, challenging himself to get you to moan louder for the sake of his song.

it’s not long before he’s got you bare from the waist down, legs fanned wide open with his arms round your thighs. by this point, he has to remind himself not to talk as to not disrupt the recording — and you’re doing him proud, not even having to try to release the most breathy, beautiful sounds that he knew would be perfect on the track.

you get pouty as soon as the whole things over, deciding your best friend was a total sicko. he’d gotten all kissy on you, wet lips smushed against yours, his eyes all hazy from arousal as he makes you taste yourself, murmuring about how you did such a good job for him before wandering off shamelessly to the bathroom to jack off. you get shy, still oozing your release onto his grey-blue bed sheets thinking back on the way you begged him to talk you through it. he was focused on his producing, but he couldn’t resist on whispering “there y’go pretty mama. lemme hear it, good girl.” whilst you cream on his mean fingers.

no one seems to think it’s a big deal but you, his friends john b and pope often lazing around his place smoking weed and playing on the playstation, totally unresponsive to jj sat sprawled on the couch with his laptop on his lap, chopping and editing away on some shitty producer plugin — your moans occasionally playing around the room as he clicks away, tongue between his lips in concentration, backwards cap snug over messy blonde strands.

the boys chime in with an occasional comment. “sounds dope, man.” pope hums out brainlessly as he stares at the tv, thumbing aggressively at the console joystick, the brunette beside him quick to agree.

“no yeah, sounds good.” he agrees, eyes even darting towards where you’re curled on the couch painting your toenails, trying to seem nonchalant about the whole thing.

when he drops the song, he promotes it everywhere — and whilst you asked for no credits for your… addition, it seems to go without saying that you’re the girl on the song, no one else even in question as wherever jj goes you’re seen hanging off his arm. his friends might not make a big deal, but you notice the stares when you go out.

rafe cameron has the audacity to corner you at the juice bar, wearing a smirk that just told you that he knew. “yeah uh, love your friends little song.” he stares you down, egging on a reaction. “been playin’ it on a loop for some reason.”

you avoid his eyes. “yeah, it’s pretty good.” you shy away, but he blocks your path.

“mm, for sure, yeah but uh, you— you know i could have sworn i recognised the… female voice in the back. got any idea who that might be or…?” his smirk only grows, licking his lips as he looms over you.

“nope…” the doe eyes give you away.

“huh, ‘cos it kinda sounds like a pretty girl i know.”

you run and tell jj, all sniffly and regretful — knowing that snitching on rafe to jj is only going to cause problems. his reaction is less defensive and aggressive than you imagined, instead leading you through to his bedroom by the waist.

“look, bae — people are gonna talk, alright? doesn’t mean shit. sure as hell don’t care about what rafe thinks.” he sits you down, standing above you as he curls a hand under your chin affectionately. “but hey, if the money wasn’t enough— think i can make it worth your while. y’wanna lay down for me, sweets? no mic this time. jus’ me and that pretty pussy.”

[moviecritc]

easiest conversation ⋆ carlos sainz

pairing: carlos sainz x fem!oc (named Angelique)

tropes: strangers to lovers

summary: carlos and angelique sat next to each other in a tennis match in monaco, leading to an endless conversation.

a/n: english is not my first language, sorry for the mistakes and poor storytelling. maybe a part 2 if you like it?

masterlist

Everybody was focused on Carlos' future in Formula 1, he tried so hard to not be worried about it, but every thing he does, the media somehow made it about his career as a driver. So, at the end, he couldn't do anything except being worried too. Many what ifs were in his mind anytime he thought about it.

The past weekend wete the Masters of Montecarlo, a tennis match, and taking advantage of the fact that he was in the city and most of he's teammates were also watching it, he attended as well.

Carlos didn't have the opportunity to talk to any of them, they were seated in different places in the public. Either way, seeing George, Charles and even Lando with their partners made him feel a little bit more miserable than he already felt. No seat and no girlfriend, that's not a very cool situation to be involved.

And there's even more, he doesn't even know a shit about tennis. He played paddel a few times with Lando, but tennis? He had no idea. So he just sat there, gasping when other people gasp and checking his phone once in a while.

"You seem lost," someone said.

Carlos lifts his head that exact moment, connecting looks with a light brunette that was looking at him above her sunglasses.

"Are you talking to me?" he asked, totally confused. Since when that woman was sitting by his side?.

"Yes. You look bored, maybe you just need someone to explain tennis in a cool way," she smiled. A beautiful smile.

Carlos also smiled a bit, in a weird way. Sometimes he forgots that there's people who can effortlesly talk to strangers in a cool and mysterious way. This woman was one of them.

"Yeah, sure. If you can,"

"If I can?" she seemed dramaticly offended. "You don't think a woman can explain tennis to you, man?"

"Oh, no, no, no. I didn't mean it in that way," he said quickly. "Please, go ahead."

She smiled and started explaining all about tennis in the most interesting and funny way possible.

"How do you know so much about tennis?" he asked.

"Well, I'm a tennis player," she explain. "I thought it was obvious."

Carlos noded a bit, noticing a few mobile phones and cameras pointing at them. He didn't realised it until now, and now he was wondering how many pictures and videos of him and that woman would be around the media.

"Uh, well... I mean, I have no idea about tennis," he said, nervously.

"Yeah, I could tell that," she laughed and she infected Carlos with the laughter. "I'm Angelique, by the way."

"Beautiful name. I'm Carlos," they shaked hands with smiles in their faces. He saw some redness on Angelique face after he complimented her. "So you are a tennis player?"

"Yeah." she simply answered.

"Are you good?" Carlos didn't want the conversation to die.

"I try to be," she said. "I'm fifth in the Women's Tennis Association, I don't know if that's enough for you."

Angelique pursed her lips, making a funny face that made Carlos smiled.

"That sounds really good," he said, truly impressed. They were both athletes, maybe that's why it feels so easy to talk to her.

"What about you?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

"I'm a race driver,"

Angelique raised even more her eyebrows and wide-opened her eyes "Ok, that is so fucking cool!" she remarked. "Which team do you drive for?"

"Ferrari, but..."

"No way! That's even cooler!" she boasted. "I mean, I have no idea about Formula 1. But Ferrari? That is cool guy material, undoubtedly"

Carlos was too invested in Angelique's voice and eyebrow game that wasn't able to tell her that he isn't staying in Ferrari for too long. But they've just met, and being unemployed isn't something to say to someone right off the bat.

He realised that it was the first conversation in a while that he didn't have to mention anything about his future in Formula 1, another reason of him being this comfortable around Angelique.

"And, how did you became a tennis player?" Carlos asked, leaning a little bit to her.

Now, she was focusing on the ball and the movements of the players.

"My brother used to use me as a ball picker when he played tennis, then he broke his arm and I kept his racket," she explained without divert her eyes from the field.

"He stopped playing tennis after that?"

"Well, yes. When he could come back, he was too old and unexperience to achieve something," she said. "But he wasn't very good anyways."

They both laughed and Angelique take off her sunglasses so she could see Carlos better.

"Have you won something in tennis?" he curiously asked.

"Yeah, of course. Matchs and all those things,"

"Have you beaten Serena Williams?" he wondered, with a smirk.

"Not yet," she admited. "But I've won against people who beat Serena."

She smiled proudly. The match was about to end, and none of them were paying attention to it.

"Okey, that's pretty awesome," he said.

She crossed her legs and accomodated her long brown hair to one side, which left Carlos eyeing her in a romantic way.

"And you? How someone decides that he wants to drive really fast cars?"

"My father has been involved in motorsports for a long time,"

"It's always a family thing, don't you think?" she said. "It is hard to find someone who started in sports by themselves."

"It is!" Carlos agreed with her.

He was going to say something else, but they announce the end of the match, everybody standed up to give an applause. Both of them copied the rest of the people.

"Wait, who won?" Carlos asked, totally confused.

Angelique lean into him, whispering "I've no idea,"

They laughed and kept applausing. That was the end of the match and the end of their conversation. Angelique's agent rapidly came to her to take some pictures with the winner.

"Wait, wait," she insisted to her agent and then walked close to Carlos. "It was lovely talking to you, Carlos,"

"Same, Angelique. You seem an interesting person," he complimented. Carlos was willing to ask her for her number, or something.

"Are you coming to the finals tomorrow?" she asked, praying for a yes.

"I don't think so... I have a race soon in China,"

"Oh," she seemed disappointed. "Well, good luck for your race and..."

"Can I asked you for your number?" he said unexpectedly.

"Yes!" she realised that maybe she was too effusive, so she lower her tone. "I mean, yeah, sure. If you want."

Carlos laughed and Angelique did it too, in a more ashamed way. He gave her his phone so she could write her number.

"There you go," she said and her agent was already near her to leave the match. "Text me!"

Carlos laughed and waved at her, when he looked at his phone, he could do anything but laughed again. Angelique saved her as "That cute girl from the tennis match".

He wondered what was about that girl that made her so unique and easy to talk to her. Carlos didn't think about it very much, instead, he texted her right after she left the field.

[lovingmattysposts]

Eastside 12

P2 P3 P4 P5 P6 P7 P8 P9 P10 P11 P13 P14 P15 P16 P17

summary: growing up in the outskirts of Boston wasn't really pretty. Life wasn't that great for most people, most people. You had Matt and no one fucked with you when Matt was standing by your side. The chief's daughter and the bad boy deliquent. A perfect love story?

warnings: sad, mentions of bad home life, drugs

y/n pov

I don't know why I was here. I guess it was like clockwork in my brain. It's like I blocked out every single thing that my mind has been racing with and knew that it was Friday, at 8. So here I was at the tracks. On the Eastside.

I wasn't expecting Matt to come. In full honesty, I didn't want him to show up. This was more of a moment for me. It was weird, being here without wanting or expecting him to show up.

Looking off onto the old rusty tracks thinking off all the old memories that were shared here. I guess the only thing that really made me happy were the tracks, because those were all the good moments with him.

Back when I would sneak out and see him running up to him, a smile plastered on his face and he would pick me up and kiss me. Two teenagers just in that gut wrenching type of love. Back when the only think we had to worry about was being caught kissing like there was no tomorrow, not even imagining there would be a time where we wouldn't be together.

But I guess that's what young love was. Your first love, when you would die before breaking up, thinking it would last forever, but it never does. First loves are amazing, but they weren't meant to last forever, I guess I just never wanted to be apart of that narrative.

I wanted forever with him, I still do. That's what hurts the most. The logical side of me wants to write him off as my first love, knowing first loves hurt. But the part of me he always brought out, wanted us to be that one in a million love, where we do end up together. Where we end up with that white house.

I just don't know how to let this go. Let him go. Because I never thought I would have to. Like he always promised would never happen.

It wasn't hard to be mad at him. I could see myself being angry with him for cheating on me for the rest of my life and feeling no guilt about it. It's what he took away from me is something that I couldn't stand. He took my person away from me, he made me feel crazy. He lied to me.

That was something harder to understand.

I told him everything that's ever happened to me. Every thought that crossed my brain without a second thought and he was keeping an entire second life away from me.

He was dealing drugs, sure whatever. We could have gone through that together. We could get passed that. But cheating on me? That was something I would like to see myself moving past, but the truth was I couldn't. Because in my brain, I couldn't see how he could mean everything he's said to me, while also hooking up with other girls. That didn't make sense.

So it meant I had to move on. I had to let him go, because he wasn't the Matt I had seemingly imgained in my brain, no. It was a total stranger.

I hated to say it, but maybe my dad was right. I shook my head at the thought. I knew Matt. I know I did. I just don't understand and I guess I never will.

Graduation was coming up soon. Then I could leave. Get out of this town alone. Move on.

I heard some sticks crack next to me. I looked up quickly, in fear. I locked eye with the one person I hated the most. The person who ruined everything for me.

She held her hands up.

"I'm not Matt" Cecilia breathed looking down at me. I shook my head as I looked away from her. "Go away Cecilia" I whispered looking down at my shoes. She sighed as she ignored my request as she sat down next to me.

"I see why you like this place. It's peaceful out here" She stated softly as she looked around us to the woods and overgrown grass surrounding the gravel around the tracks.

"You know i've lived here my whole life and have never been to the tracks?" She said looking over to me. I didn't turn to her, I didn't say anything as she spoke. She took in a breath.

"It's a nice escape" She whispered. I scoffed shaking my head. "What are you doing here Cecilia?" I asked shaking my head at her. She looked at me biting her lip as she scanned my face.

"I don't know" She breathed pulling her knees up to her chest. I just looked at her trying to figure her out, trying to figure out her motive. Still on edge from everything that happened, I didn't trust her.

"I felt like I needed to apologize" She said looking over at me with pity all over her face. It almost made me sick. I shook my head as I turned back straight. "Don't bother" I mumbled. She pursed her lips and nodded.

"I see why Matt likes you" She stated. "I didn't know him very well, but I'm not an idiot" She breathed. I looked over to her, listening to her. "I only saw the angry drug dealer side of Matt. But when I saw him with you, I saw something different. I saw him smile" She chuckled. I let out a breath, slightly smiling and then letting it fall.

"You're a badass, but you're kind" She shook her head looking at me. I glanced up at her. "A combination I never really got down" She sighed leaning back slightly. I pushed my hair behind my ear as the cold air moved between us.

"I grew up over here, with my brother Landon and I guess i've never seen anyone like you around" She stated. "I always looked up to him in a weird way?" She shook her head scrunching her nose. "Always hung out with him at the old warehouse with all his older friends. They weren't that nice to me, but I never said anything because they were the only people I had" She said. I furrowed my eyebrows as I watched her.

"I never went to high school. I never had a girl friend. Only my older brother and his dickhead friends who only looked at me like a piece of meat" She chuckled, but then her smile dropped slightly as she looked down at her lap.

"So naturally when he got involved with Slim, he got involved with the drug business" She said looking over at me. "So that meant I was too" She sighed. I shook my head looking at her.

"Why are you telling me all of this?" I asked looking at her. She sighed as she pushed her hair out of her face. "I don't know, I guess after I saw what the video did to you--" She shook her head.

"I saw something I'd never seen or felt before" She breathed. I just watched her. "Love" She stated looking at me. "I guess I didn't really know what that looked like, so showing you that video I just wasn't thinking I--" She bit her lip.

"I just didn't know love like that existed" She breathed. I sighed looking down nodding. "You've never been in love?" I asked quietly looking up at her. She stared straight in front of us, then slightly shook her head.

"I don't even really know what it is" She whispered looking down. My face turned and I almost felt bad for her. The way she looked at the ground in hurt.

"In the most non-creepy way possible" She breathed looking up at me. "Slim asked me to keep an eye on you after you say Pallo at the tracks" She admitted. "I saw you with your dad" She shook her head and then looked over at me.

"Y/n, he loves you" She shook her head looking at me, making me smile slightly. "I guess I was jealous" She sighed pressing her chin against her knees.

"I never had that. My dad left once he had me, and then my mom got hooked on drugs and overdose. So it was just Landon and I for the longest time" She breathed. "He was all I had" She said closing her eyes.

"But he's put me in positions that I wouldn't put my worst enemies into to" Her voice broke, and I saw tears come to her eyes. "I don't think that's love" She whispered closing her eyes and letting a tear run down her face.

I swallowed. Not really knowing what to say. I hated her. She basically ruined my life, but she was just a young girl, just like me who just lived a completely different life. She didn't know any better. I couldn't imagine what's she's seen or been through that aren't even in my darkest nightmares.

I sighed and wrapped my arms around her and leaned my head on my shoulders. She stiffened against me when she felt me hug her. She leaned up slightly making me lift up off of her.

"I guess I'm just sorry for everything that's happened" She breathed looking at me, tears in her eyes. I nodded. "I forgive you" I said looking at her, making her smile slightly.

"Do you even want to be doing what you're doing? With the drugs and stuff" I breathed looking down at the rocks beneath us. She let out a breath. "I don't really get a choice. I live with Landon and Landon's scared of Slim like everyone else, he just does whatever he says." She shook her head.

"So wherever Landon goes, I go. There's not another option" She stated. I pursed my lips as I looked at her. "So to answer your question" She said looking over at me. "I hate it" She shook her head.

"I wanna go to a formal dance" She said looking at me, smiling. "I wanna fall in love." She said looking down. "I hate the life I have" She swallowed. I just watched the broken girl in front of me, my heart hurting for the position she was in.

"There's always a way out" I said pushing her shoulder. She smiled up at me softly. "You're cute, but you're návie" She said shaking her head. I sighed looking down. Slightly feeling a weight come off my chest from this conversation.

"I imagine your boyfriend is going through the exact same thing right now. Looking for a way out" She said looking over at me. "It's why Slim had such a big group of people behind him" She said. "They are all too scared to stand up to him, so they just stay in fear of getting killed" She shook her head

I shook my head. "We're not together anymore" I mumbled looking down. She went silent next to me before taking in a breath. "I felt bad when I first saw him walk in, because he had no idea what he was getting himself into" She said quietly. I looked up at her.

"Can I ask you a question?" I whispered. She looked over at me and nodded. "Do you--" I sighed. "Do you really think he cheated on me with all those girls like he said he did?" I whispered. She scanned my face for a second before biting her lip.

"You want my honest answer?" She asked. I nodded. She shook her head. "No" She said looking down. "If he wasn't with you, he was dealing with some bullshit Slim made up" She said. I stayed silent next to her.

"So realistically wise, he wouldn't have the time" She said letting out a breath and looking over at me. "But all of that out-of-factor--" She said raising her eyebrows. She shook her head, slightly smiling.

"No" She said again. I sighed looking down at my feet. "You know him better than me. So what do you think?" She asked looking down at me. I shrugged.

"A part of me doesn't believe he would do that to me. But the other part didn't think he would keep being a drug dealer from me either" I said honestly. She sighed.

"It's a tricky situation" She stated. "You're his girlfriend, so he wants to protect you and you're the chief's daughter--" She chuckled next to me, making me smile slightly. "Those two factors playing against each other, it doesn't suprise me that he kept that from you" She shook her head.

"He loves you, he only would want you to see the good parts of him. Not the bad and ugly" She shook her head. I nodded. Now that she was putting it that way, it kind of made sense to me.

"Plus you're a little too soft to be in this scene" She smiled pushing my shoulder. I scoffed looking over at her smiling. "Soft?" I gasped pushing her shoulder. She laughed and turned away. I smiled and shook my head.

"Can I be honest with you?" I asked looking over at her. She smiled and nodded. "I just told you my entire life story so nothings off the table" She shrugged chuckled. I smiled and nodded.

"I've never really had a girl-friend either" I said honestly nodding looking at her. She raised her eyebrows. "It's always been me and Matt and his brothers since I was in middle school. And my dad of course" I said shaking my head. She smiled and let out a breath.

"Yeah, but they are all good male-influences. Trust me when I say that makes all the difference" She said shaking her head. I nodded and looked down. "But" She said making me look up at her.

"I guess we're not all that different after all" She said smiling. I nodded. "I guess we aren't" I said looking at her.

"This is so middle school, but I don't know how else to say this" She sighed looking at me. "But do you wanna be friends?" She asked smiling, making me laugh out loud. I looked over at her.

"I'd like that" I nodded. She smiled. "I've got no one else" I breathed. She nodded. "Me either" She said nodding. I narrowed my eyes at her.

"I'm not over you trying to make moves on Matt though" I said slightly smiling. She rolled her eyes. "He's cute, but he's not for me. I never liked him, I just said that to get under your skin" She admiited, making my mouth go wide and her chuckled.

"Plus I think he's got you down on lock" She smiled pushing my shoulder. I smiled and shook my head. I looked over at her. "You know he's got another brother" I stated smiling. She shook her head.

"Nick's gay" She chuckled. I laughed and shook my head. "No the other one" I laughed. She furrowed her eyebrows. "There are 3 of them?" She asked. I nodded.

"He's an asshole, just like you. You guys would totally get along" I smiled. She rolled her eyes. "Okay, okay I get it" She laughed. I smiled looking down.

"I thought you'd know that, being in business with Slim and all" I said looking over at her. She let out a breath and shook her head. "You think they let me in on all the information?" She asked raising her eyebrows and then shook her head.

"I'm just there to sit there and look pretty, and do all the dirty work they don't wanna do" She said her smile dropping. I frowned looking at her. "Slim goes down, he's taking all of us down with him" She sighed. I let out a breath.

"He has proof of you and the triplets involved?" I asked looking at her. She nodded. "He keeps it all on his computer, on back files" She stated looking at me. I let a smile come to my face. She looked confused and then shook her head.

"It's not use. The only people who know the password are him and Landon" She said looking at me. I pursed my lips. "You don't think he could get it out of him?" I asked looking over at her. She shook her head.

"He's farther up Slim's ass, than anyone" She shook her head. I sighed looking down at my lap, then an idea came up in my head. I smiled over at her. She just looked at me.

"What?" She asked. I just smiled as I pushed up onto my feet. She just looked at me. "What?" She smiled shaking her head. "You forget my dad's the chief of police, come on" I smiled reaching out my hand for her to take. Her eyes went wide.

"No, he'd book us all are you crazy?" She said shaking her head. I shrugged. "A little bit crazy some would say" I chuckled. She narrowed her eyes at me. "Hello! My dad was born in the 80s you think he doesn't keep his computer passwords written down somewhere? We can get to every computer base if we're on the same wifi" I explained.

Her eyes lit up as she grabbed my hand and I pulled her off the ground and we ran off the tracks towards my house.

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[aerialworms]

...would you fuck a clone of yourself?

Happy Birthday old man! Let me make fun of you!

I couldn’t decide which answer to give him in my last post so I gave him them all <3

+ Jackles bonus because that man is as deranged about Dean as I am:

(Image IDs (and episode IDs!) under cut)

[Image ID: Answers from the Buzzfeed quiz “Would you fuck a clone of yourself” meme edited over screenshots of Dean Winchester from various episodes of Supernatural.

1. 16 year old Dean from 9.07 Bad Boys looks confused and answers “I don't want to fuck my clone because it would be gay sex and I'm not gay.”

2. 18 year old Dean from 4.13 After School Special smirks and answers “I'm not gay, but I would actually totally fuck my clone”

3. 1.01 Pilot Dean stands in Sam’s apartment, smirking self-consciously, next to Sam, who looks disappointed with him. He continues the previous answer: “because I want to know if I'm good in bed.”

4.  Dean Smith, at his desk in 4.17 It’s a Terrible Life, looking concerned, answers “I'm gay, but I still don't want to fuck my clone, that's gross and weird.”

5. 8.17 Goodbye Stranger Dean sits at the map table in the Bunker and reads a porn magazine. He answers without looking up “It's basically the same as masturbating, right? So no big deal.”

6. Alternate Universe HunterCorp Dean from 15.13 Destiny’s Child sits on the other side of the map table in the Bunker. Looking bewildered, he answers “It’s not the same as masturbating; it'd be like having sex with your twin. Wrong and bad!

7. Dean, handcuffed on the floor in Endverse Dean’s cabin in 5.04 The End, tells his alternate self “I'd totally do all sorts of weird things to my clone I'd be embarrassed to ask someone else to do.”

8. In the same scene, Endverse Dean holds up his assault rifle and answers “I don’t want to fuck my clone because my self-loathing is THAT strong.”

9. Dean, completely under the memory curse in 12.11 Regarding Dean, says with wide eyes “I would not have sex with my clone because what if my clone is evil.”

10. Demon Dean in 10.01 Black, reclining naked in bed, makes a funny face and gestures cheekily as he answers “Not only would I have sex with my clone, I'd probably make a bunch of clones and just get it on with all of them at once because that's how pro-clone fucking I am.”

11. The bonus image. Dean, in Jensen Ackles’ trailer in 6.15 The French Mistake, holds up a fan magazine with Jensen and Jared on the front. He looks absolutely done. The box containing the quiz answer has been edited to look like a speech bubble coming from Jensen’s mouth on the magazine. It reads “To be honest, fucking my clone has always been my fantasy.”

All the images have been watermarked with the poster’s url “@aerialworms”. /End ID]

[itoshiexx]

mi vida

synopsis: sae never thought someone could become his life, but that changed when you came.

pairing: itoshi sae x gn!reader | words: 749 | warnings: established relationship, fluff

notes: welcome back to "things i wrote on a whim when my boss wasn't at the office"!! apparently i write a lot better in english without much planning, so yeah. this idea came to me based on a personal experience, since i call my boyfriend "minha vida" (which is the same for "mi vida"/"my life" in portuguese) and i never really thought i could consider someone to be my life before him.

i really really hope you like it, and i wanna thank you all so much for all the love you've given to Unworthy (but chosen), every note and follower made me super happy! &lt;3

and also, i'm so sorry if my description of the spanish culture is not accurate and for any english mistakes!

during his time in spain, sae learned a lot of things. mainly, how to improve his soccer career even more, striving to become the best in the world after already being the best in his country. 

he was a genius, of course, so it wasn’t really hard to learn the language or get acquainted with the city of madrid, which was a lot warmer than japan — in many ways. however, it was really fucking hard to get used to the customs of the spanish people and its culture, considering it was so different from the japanese. they were extremely welcome, and sae was anything but. if anything, he was even more closed than typical japanese people. 

in spain, people were always greeting each other with a kiss on each cheek, showing off bright smiles and making conversation with strangers. friends talked loudly among each other, giving hugs and always touching somehow. the concept of personal space? totally nonexistent. in short, it was weird. 

but nothing was weirder than couples. 

the concept of love was already foreign to sae. he didn’t understand how a feeling could envelop one so much and make it forget about the rest of the world. he didn’t know how such an abstract thing, with no sense of logic whatsoever, could be so overwhelming to the point of taking one’s life completely, until all you could see, think and feel was your significant other.

most of all, he couldn’t fathom how someone could become your life. 

“te amo, mi vida,” was what he used to hear an old couple say to each other. they were the owners of sae’s favorite restaurant, a small little place in the suburbs of Madrid, and always treated him with a kindness he didn’t deemed himself worthy of. 

at first, he wasn’t able to comprehend what the sentence meant. he could barely write it on google translate to try to get its meaning, and he didn’t really care enough. though, as the time went by and sae became more fond of the couple, he eventually gathered the courage to ask the woman about it. and he was very surprised to hear the answer. 

“it means ‘i love you, my life’,” she said, smiling from ear to ear and handing a glass of salted kombucha tea to sae. it was one of the reasons he adored the place so much — it was the only restaurant he found that served his favorite drink. 

the older itoshi could only stare, dumbfounded, and mumble, “…why?”

the woman laughed at the boy’s naiveté. “why, you ask? because that’s what he is to me.” 

sae only stared in silence, too stunned to speak.

“i… i don’t understand,” he confessed. it sounded silly, and kind of pathetic, but at that moment he didn’t really care. the woman gave another smile, this time an understanding countenance, and placed her wrinkly hand on his shoulder. 

“you will understand one day, boy. and when your person comes, make sure to bring them here, right? i’d like to meet them!” 

the soccer player wanted to tell her that it would never happen. that the itoshi sae had no time for foolish things like love, and he most certainly would never love someone so much to the point of seeing them as his life. his life was soccer, and his goal was to become the best in the world. 

there was nothing else. 

oh, how he bit his tongue. 

it was at the age of twenty two when he entered the restaurant once again, and this time, not alone. you were walking by his side, with your hand intertwined in his, chatting excitedly while he just listened. a small smile was on his face, and his features were impossibly soft, in a way they only got around you. 

you, who were light in the darkness, who were comfort after a long day of practice, who was the one he loved most. you, who was the definition of home in every sense of the word. the only one that could make his heart swell so much it made it hard to breathe. 

he pulled your chair for you to sit like a true gentleman, and sat right next to you, always in need to touch you somehow. a hand was placed on your thigh while the other one opened the menu. and he turned to you, voice gentle like you could break:

“so, what would you like, mi vida?”

you, who was his life.

© 2023 itoshiexx. do not plagarise, translate, or repost any of my work on here or other sites.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for getting a friend banned from Tumblr ? I(19nb) met a group of people through fandom (6 of us, adults) and we started talking on discord. It was fun and everyone was cool. We (privately) would send Fandom Takes on the discord and kind of make fun of how bad they were sometimes. It was pretty harmless, until one friend Summer(26f) (fake names) decided to fixate on a particular person named Brian in the fandom.

Brian was, I believe, about 13 or 14 years old at the time. They were a system blog (sorry I don't understand systems very well) and Brian was (or identified as?) a bunch of characters in this fandom from a lineage of ancestors that Summer liked. So I think Summer took it personally or something that this person mischaracterized them cuz they were her favorite characters?

Like I said, it started as harmless, privately posting some stuff that Brian had said and saying stuff like "me when I'm 13 years old" etc etc but Summer started to get an unhealthy fixation with this person and would start posting DAILY about Brian. I mean paragraph-long rants about this kid. It was getting out of hand so I started defending Brian even though I don't even know him cuz it started to sound really mean. But Summer would just kind of laugh it off and say "well its not like I'm saying this in public"

Summer also started to attack Brian personally about the whole 'system' thing, i don't really know anything about systems, and again, this kid is a total stranger, so idgaf, but Summer said that tiktok has totally bastardized what systems are and she's sick of kids thinking its an identity thing and stuff like that, since she works as a PSW in a psych ward and deals with people who have that disorder, I think this is also a big reason why Brian made her so mad, but again... Summer and Brian don't even know each other so it was getting uncomfortable, like it became so that nobody even posted in the Bad-Takes channel anymore bc Summer was just constantly posting personal stuff about Brian and it made us all feel weird about the channel altogether.

So this is where it starts to suck: Summer makes a sideblog, burnbook style, called something like We-Hate-Brian or Brian-Fucking-Sucks (cant remember the name) and starts literally copying Brian's text posts and parodying them and editing stuff into his icon photo and his art. She posts about this in our discord thinking its absolutely hilarious and I immediately start DMing everyone to mass report the blog (and her main) cuz I'm ashamed we even let it get this far.

So Summer gets banned from Tumblr, gets upset about it in the discord, and nobody really replies to her insane rant about it, she's totally convinced that somehow it was Brian himself. We all move to another discord to quietly ghost her and she messages us once in a while but I think what happened really soured everyone on her. Nobody has ever told Summer that it was us that got her banned, or why we did it. I feel kind of weird about it since we never told her and just collectively agreed to ghost her to avoid the inevitable drama. so AITA??

What are these acronyms?

[vhagarlovebot]

JUST A FRIEND TO YOU ── PART 2.

♡. ── gif credit. ; ( aemond targaryen masterlist. )

pairing: modern!aemond x fem!reader and a little bit of cregan stark x fem!reader.

summary: after you agreed to go on the date, aemond realizes what a big mistake he has made.

warnings: pining, aemond regretting all of his life decisions basically and getting what he deserves, and angsty shit bc you know i love to make you all suffer.

note: hi besties! i didn’t wanna do a part two of this one shot but since a lot of you were asking me, i heard you and here you have. and i’m already thinking about writing a part 3? or maybe a mini series? even tho i said i don’t like it. i need help!! btw if there are any mistakes i apologize, but as some of you may know english is not my first language. hope you enjoy! reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated.

read part one here.

YOU REALLY DIDN’T WANT to go on that date but, as always, you couldn’t say no to aemond.

and it turns out, you had fun.

aemond’s girlfriend —or date, or girl friend? you don’t really know— is actually nice and you hate yourself for not being able to dislike her, she’s so freaking sweet that it makes you want to throw up. and as nice as she is, her friend is also very nice and a total gentleman. and also the quarterback of the college footfall team.

cregan stark made you forget all about aemond targaryen in just a couple of minutes with him. he knows how attractive he his and also how to use his charm with girls, because he had you flustered all night. he didn’t do anything more than just smile at you, pay for the dinner and drinks and walk you back to your dorm, kissing you goodnight. on the cheek. and just a couple of minutes after leaving, your phone buzzed with a new message asking for a second date.

but as much as you enjoyed the date, once you were alone with your thoughts your mind wandered back to the last person you wanted to think about.

you knew he was on a date too, he told you it was that day. you didn’t want to know but he told you anyways because you’re his best friend, he wants to share that kind of things with you. but you wish he wouldn’t, that way your heart wouldn’t break every time he opens his mouth.

and as you thought about aemond kissing another girl, you typed your answer to cregan.

when the next day came, you didn’t feel any better.

and it only got worse the second you bumped into aemond outside the coffee shop you were supposed to meet cregan.

“there you are! i’ve been looking for you everywhere.” he says, kissing you on the forehead.

not everywhere because you were in your dorm all day and he never, not once, came looking for you. weird it wasn’t his first option.

“here i am.” you try to sound nonchalant, your lips barely curling upwards.

“aren’t you going to ask me how it went?” aemond looks excited to tell you all about his date and you feel guilty for not wanting to know at all.

“i really want to know,” what a fucking liar you are. “but i can’t right now. maybe tomorrow?” you try convince him with that smile that says ‘pleaaaaaseeeee’ but aemond, for the first time in forever, it’s not convinced. even his smile instantly disappears.

“why?”

but you don’t have time to give him an answer because the answer walks out of the shop, two coffee in each hand and a big and radiant smile that only grows the second you make eye contact. and it’s strange, because your face lights up just by seeing someone that was a total stranger less than 24 hours ago.

“i was starting to think you stood me up.” cregan says, not acknowledging aemond at all, and leans to kiss you on the cheek just to hand you one coffee. “to show you i was paying attention last night.” just by the smell you know he got your coffee order right.

aemond clear his throat and you both turn to face him. your cheeks are impossibly red and you avoid his eyes, choosing to look at your shoes instead.

“oh sorry,” cregan chuckles, and gives aemond a pat on the shoulder. “i’m going to steal her for a while, you okay with that?” you didn’t know you could be any more embarrassed, but it is possible. and you hate it.

aemond nods, looking at you one final time before turning around and walking away, leaving you with a strange and awful feeling in your heart.

but cregan soon makes you forget about almost everything. and it keeps happening for the next couple of weeks. but even him and his friends can’t make you forget about him.

you have barely seen aemond since that day in the coffee shop. you tried to call him the next day to apologize but he only texted you that now he was busy and he would give you a call when he could; but that never happened and since that day your friendship has been reduced to short and cold text messages. and it hurts. but you’re decided to not let another day pass without talking to him. or just seeing him. you miss him and you wonder if he misses you too.

but after trying to communicate with aemond all day, calling him and messaging him over and over again, you give up. he clearly doesn’t want to talk to you and as much as it hurts, it angers you too.

“i’m sure he’s just busy and will call you as soon as he can.” cregan tries to calm you as he walks by your side, his thumb brushing a strand of hair out of your face.

you only nod as an answer, looking at your phone hoping to see a text from aemond.

“hey, look at me.” he stops walking, his hands cupping your face, softly forcing you to look at him. “forget about him and enjoy the party, okay?”

it’s very sweet how he’s always making sure you are fine and listening to you talk about your best friend, not once telling you that he actually doesn’t like the guy.

you thank him by standing on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek, making him chuckle and hold your hand resuming your walk.

the first thing you notice when entering the living room are cregan’s friends drinking and chatting, but what draws your attention the most is aemond. sitting on a couch in a corner, cigarette between his lips as he looks annoyed at you two.

you fight the urge to walk to him. you miss him so much but it looks like he doesn’t miss you at all. he probably hasn’t even think about you. and that’s why you accept the drink cregan hands you, sitting by his side and trying to ignore the pair of blue eyes on you.

unbeknownst to you, aemond hasn’t stopped thinking about you since the day you accepted that date. he really thought you were going to say no and he still doesn’t know why he asked you to do it, but he regrets it so much.

but he also knows how selfish and childish he’s being.

he can't keep his eyes away from you as you laugh about something that has everyone laughing too. but he only can hear your laugh, loud and clear, and it's like a knife cutting through his chest. he wants to talk to you so badly, he has missed you like crazy, but doesn't know how to do it, what to say. he's pretty sure you're going to snap at him.

however, that doesn't stop him from following you when he sees you standing and walking away.

you're pouring some vodka in a cup when he enters the kitchen. his hands are sweating and he feels so nervous it's pathetic.

"so," he says, but you don't look at him, you just keep doing what you are doing. and that makes him even more nervous. "enjoying the party?"

there's a lot of noise, between the loud music and people talking, but the silence coming from you is louder than that.

"i was thinking," aemond says again, trying to make you talk or at least react. "maybe tomorrow we can go watch that movie you told me about."

you laugh and aemond smiles, feeling relief. but then you turn to face him and all that disappears.

"are you serious?" you ask him, but you don't give him time to answer. "that was months ago, i stopped asking you to go with me because you always had an excuse." you shake your head, looking at the liquid in your cup, not wanting to look him in the eyes; it's easier this way. "and when you did say yes, you never showed up."

it's his time to avoid your eyes, looking down embarrassed.

"i don't have time for this, aemond. you wanted me to meet new people? i'm doing exactly that, i don't know what's your problem."

"you don't have time for me." he whispers but you hear it, and your blood boils.

"it doesn't feel nice, does it?" you try not to cry in front of him but the more he stands there, looking lost and sad, the harder it is. there is something about finally giving you your place that makes you say the thing you never thought you were going to say out loud. at least not to him. "i'm in love with you, aemond, but loving you is hurting me. and i know it's my fault for never telling you and i'm not asking you to say or do anything... i just wanted you to know now that i feel things between us can never go back to the way they were."

aemond takes a step towards you, hands itching to touch you, but at the same time you take one step away from him. you know that if he touches you, the little wall you've created will come crashing down.

when you finally make eye contact, you can see the fight inside his head. you don't hate him, you hate yourself for not telling him sooner, for letting things go this far.

you smile softly at him before turning on your heels and walking back to the living room, swallowing all the tears.

cregan knows something happened the minute you sit and he doesn't hesitate to wrap his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his side, placing a kiss to your temple.

aemond watches everything frozen in place, your words replaying in his head over and over again.

maybe he did know you were in love with him and that's why he did what he did. the real question is, is he in love with you? aemond realizes that doesn't matter anymore as he watches you and cregan together, and how comfortable you are around your new friends.

he's got a lot to blame for too.

the question now is; is he really willing to lose you?

[riveracheron]

hey guys have my wild magnus protocol theory that stemmed from me just overanalyzing the little bits of content we have

i think lena is a homunculus.

(spoilers for the pilot and jonny + alex’s post pilot discussion under the cut)

basically this stems from. a lot of places w small amounts of information so some of this might be stretches. But

1. a lot of marketing around protocol mentions the theme of “what does it mean to be a person?” which. leads me to believe there’s gonna be a plot around a protag being Not Human but has the heart or whatever the fuck. standard pinnochio or wizard of oz story. sure youre not human but ur a person bc of xyz free will or whatever

2. lena’s behavior in the pilot is So odd and almost inhuman in its extremely dull corporate jargon way. she literally uses things like “you can file a complaint” or “here at the oiar we….” (advertiser shit) , in genuine conversation. she doesn’t leave the building, either and has a Generic office party.

im genuinely thinking bureaucracy and the weird eldritch stuff of the oiar is Literally all she knows, not that shes being manipulative and evil in the trailer like elias; she doesn’t or maybe cannot question the whole. asking sam about the eldritch trauma thing, something something cant understand human emotions and why that might be troubling.

also “people like chocolate cake.” that sounds weird and something someone with only base knowledge of humanity would say.

she’s described as “an odd one” by jonny and that we will “get her soon”. im under the full belief that shes the non-human character of the bunch thatll yknow. have the Real Boy plot

3. homunculus specifically comes from all the alchemy shit around protocol, and homunculi are some of the most famous alchemical creations in popular culture, and i think she’s not. an entity creation. lenas too much of an important character to just be like. tied to An Entity, as a main character extremely tied to the OIAR, that entity would have to be the basis of like the entire plot of protocol; which i doubt theyd do.

the eye is so important to archives because the themes of archives was the consequences of knowledge- the entire plot was engineered around the Eye as the Main Character Entity and the Eye was written to be that in turn, sorta similarly to how Griffindor is the Main Character House (TM) of HP with its themes of bravery. i doooont think the oiar is tied to the stranger or flesh or any other simulacrum creating entities.

all that to say i think lena is a different kind of artificial human, one that’s manmade rather than entity made yknow?

we get glances of the people above her in status, theres mentions of an ephemeral “he” in the pilot, so. heres what i think

the He in question is an alchemist whose in charge of the OIAR (and maybe other branches but lets focus w the oiar). He created Lena the homunculus to be the middle manager of the branch in his stead; “programming” her to be as dull and corporate as possible to keep the employees in line or whatever. something something shes got a plot wrestling with that and her inherent lack of persondom

EDIT: totally forgot this part

adding that the first statement’s plot was about an abomination of corpses given a humanlike shape and coming back wrong which is. exactly what frankenstein’s monster is, and frankenstein’s monster is considered a homunculus.

with the anglerfish’s importance to season 3 of archives i definitely think the Arthur monster will come up again in some form, but maybe instead of Actually being In Podcast maybe its a parallel to the main characters’ story in the same way that many s4 statements were used to give us more information on how jon is working through it all. the zombie statement when he just wakes up comes to mind especially. maybe it’s a hint and echo of what a Character in podcast (lena) is

[irishmammonagenda]

Hello! I hope your requests are open 🧚‍♀️

Can i ask, what brothers' reaction would be on MC who sings something like MSI (you know smth like "son of a bitch! God's like me!") or just alternative rock/punk in general?

Answer only if you're okay with that❤️

Have a great day🏃‍♂️

hihi‼️(i love the amount of emojis u use i can feel ur personality through the screen teehee)

i absoluetley can‼️‼️ also tysm for the new music to listen to (im kind of new to alt rock and punk i only really used to listen to MCR lmao😭)

anyway this was fun to write

grma for the ask <3

Obey Me Brothers React to MC Being a Wee Emo.

DISCLAIMER: emo is used as a word because where im from emo is used to describe nearly any type of alternative fashion bc we're all dumb over here app, also im 2% sure pop punk/poprock is emo music bc i think thats what mcr is, so we're going w/ it ig, the only thing ik abt music is that bars 13-20 in the dambusters themetune has fanfare so if i get any terms wrong lmk 😔✊

WARNINGS: There's a slight slight hint of drinks being spiked in Beel's one. nothing ever happens its just him keeping an eye on your drink at a concert just in case.

LUCIFER

He hears music blasting in the music room in the House of Lamentation.

At first he just sighs, it sounds like the type of music Belphie would listen to when trying to plan out another Anti-Lucifer League. The teenage angst probably helped fuel the seventh born’s desire and motivation to prank him.

He sneaks into the Music room. Technically he just walked in quietly, but you still jumped when you saw him.

"L-Lucifer!! Hiya!!" You say awkwardly, not looking the first born in they eyes. "What's up?" He blinks slowly at you, fighting the urge to place a gloved hand on the bridge of his nose and pinch it in disappointment (and/or second hand embarrassment) "I'm not going to say anything. Just keep it down, MC." He sighs, normally he'd have lectured you. But it reminded him too much of a wolf-cut, guyliner filled past that for the sake of his pride, he did not want to remember.

He wasn't a stranger to musical genres, the man collects records for fuck's sake.

The drums and guitars he can normally get behind. Especially with catchy rhythms.

The lyrics?....they're normally a hit or miss. It really depends on the song.

'God likes me' (MSI) 'Hail Mary, Forgive Me' (PTV) Religious references just kind of ruin some songs for him.

Lucifer spends his time collecting cursed records, but your music taste is a special kind of cursed MC.

Although, he is strangely supportive in his own way.

"MC, Lord Diavolo has gifted me some tickets to concert [small devildom band] is putting on, I thought you would enjoy it."

(Lucifer bought the tickets himself.)

MAMMON

Haha, Emo!

"Yer a wee emo so ye are, MC"

It's not exactly his style of music (the man listens to Kneecap ffs)

BUT!!! He wants to share things with you dammit! Let him listen to your stupid emo music with you!!! He's your first man!!!

He does, however learn how to play guitar so he can play some simple chords while you sing horrible improvised lyrics with horrible improvised chords.

You don't have the heart to tell him that acoustic guitars aren't normally used in Punk/Rock music.

The sound of horribly improvised chord progressions ring out in your bedroom as you and your first man stand back to back, horrible matching messy eyeliner on both of yours and Mammon's eyes as you hold a hairbrush to your mouth and improvise lyrics. That is, if you can even get them out of your mouth before laughing. "Blood in my body! Because I'm aliveeee!!!" You sing off key while Mammon strums the guitar. "Love in my Bugatti! Because The Great Mammon can drive!" You laugh. Mammon whistles while missing out on the fingering of a chord and then pretending it didn't happen.

LEVIATHAN

The first thought in this man's mind is karaoke.

He sends you a playlist of Rocky kinda anime openings that you should totally listen to.

He's the least shocked and weirded out, (not that the others are weirded out)

He really likes your singing voice. It doesn't matter if you're a horrible singer, its you so it makes him happy.

You guys could do a duet? If it wasn't too much for you to sing with a stinky smelly otaku like him :(

"Levi-" You sigh, looking at the Levi shaped lump of seaweed in his aquiriam, the demon's tail twitches through the pile of aquatic plant, showing that he's listening. "Levi... Of course I'd love to do Karaoke with you...You didn't give me a chance to answer before jumping into the tank! C'mon!" It takes Levi a few more minutes before he feels ready to leave his seaweed pile, his face is completely red, but there's a small smile on his face as you set up the karaoke machine.

SATAN

Satan enjoys your music taste.

He likes most if not all human world music because music is so important to culture and he loves learning about human world culture.

What he doesn't like however, is people dropping his name in lyrics for edginess smh.

No MC, no one in Je T'aime is his bitch. Please stop asking.

He also takes you to gigs! Because why not!

The blond haired demon sat in the bar, earning a few looks from the people surrounding them. He stuck out like a sore thumb in his jumper and jeans and the book in his hands in comparision to black denim and leather, chains and sub-cultural clothes that everyone else was wearing. Satan payed it no mind as you came back with the drinks, all decked out in clothing matching the rest of the people in the venue in style. "Hope you weren't waiting long....the lines were long!" Satan takes a drink from your hand and sips it, giving a soft smile, "Not at all."

ASMODEUS

The music is a hit and miss tbh, he prefers the more pop punk kind of thing, leaning more into pop than anything else.

He likes paramore though!

Loves the clothes associated with the genres and subcultures of the music! Adopts some of it into his own style!

(He alters it heavily, but some designs are inspired by the subcultures)

He could be your adorable gorgeous boyfriend and you could be the wee emo gremlin partner!

The opposites attract will look so cute on his Devilgram.

But he geniunely supports you and your interests, he designs and makes clothes for you in the style associated with your music taste.

He even makes you merch of your favourite bands and albums inspired into clothes.

He also does your makeup before you go out to concerts or gigs

Your his emo after all.

You squirm as Asmo runs his fingers along your flushed skin, he laughs as you jerk away. "It's just a brush, it wont hurt you darling!" He laughs, putting more black eyeshadow onto the makeup brush and applying it---or atleast trying to---to your eyelids, biting back teasing comments as you jerk away. You were ticklish god dammit! It wasn't like you were meaning to! It was a natural reflex!

BEELZEBUB

He likes it.

but not because he enjoys the music persay. Don't get him wrong he can listen to it and enjoy it but he wouldn't normally seek it out.

He likes it because you and Belphie like it, and the style reminds him of the both of you.

In terms of rock music he likes the more slow ballady types. Belphie normally listens to them when he has trouble falling asleep.

Very supportive.

If you're ever in the Mosh Pit in a concert, Beel will go with you, you're just so tiny and people can push you about! (You're tiny to him. So yes MC, his point still stands.)

Taking that back, if you're at a concert, Beel's probably with you. Unless you're with another brother, Even then, Beel's probably going to come.

Bro is like your own bodyguard.

Reports to Lucifer when at concerts and makes sure you're not taking any illegal substances, you don't know what's in them MC!

He makes sure nothing is put in your drink either.

He just wants to keep you safe :(

Beel had been staring at the cup in your hands back and forth for a while now, you smile and offer it up to him. "Want a sip, Beelie? You've been staring at my drink a lot" You practically shout over the music. You weren't in the mosh pit, and though you stood a good distance away, the music was still loud. Beel shakes his head, pointing to his pint and smiling his closed eye smile, "No thanks, MC. I'm just making sure you're staying hydrated and don't need refills." He says truthfully, though that truth isn't whole. You grin, "Aww...that's so sweet!" Turning your attention away from him and back to the stage, Beel wraps an arm around your waist. Eyes alert and wary when someone so much as walked past, or a crowd member got a little too close while dancing. He was overprotective and cautious. But you deserved to be safe.

BELPHEGOR

Give him back his albums what the actual fuck.

Look just because he takes your life it doesn't mean you get to take his music taste.

Wowwww. Petty.

Fine, you can borrow his limited edition special cut vinyls.

What? Lucifer's not the only one with a record collection.

He did not get this idea from Lucifer, No you Liar.

He did.

Belphie listens to rock ballads to get to sleep when he has trouble sleeping and when he wants to.

Sometimes when you nap together he puts some on.

It's kind of like a white noise machine.

Will go to concerts with you and Beel, but has to have slept for atleast 2 whole days leading up to it so people don't think he's passed out in the crowd.

Mention any similarites about his little music vinyl collections to Lucifer's cursed record selections he will not let you borrow any for atleast 3 days.

Long before Eve bit the apple and the brother's wings turnt black, a small boy with indigo hair wakes up from a nap, pouty lips wobbling when he realises his twin is nowhere to be found. Belphie sniffles, but doesn't break into tears. He's a big boy now! Big boys don't cry when they miss their twins! Beel was probably out on a walk with Michael and Lilith in her stroller! He'd come back! But still, Belphie's bottom lip trembled, eyes watering, the little boy didn't like being seperated from his twin! He was about to cry when he heard loud music coming from a room down the hall. More curious than anything, Belphie gets off of his bed, and (taking his teddy bear with him) walks down the hall following the sound. Though his walk was more of a waddle with his tiny legs. He'd never heard anything like it before! When Beel got back he could tell him about his discovery! Soon enough he reaches a slightly cracked open door and the music is super loud here. This must be it! Waddling into the room, Belphie could see a figure laying spread eagle on one of the beds. Half of the room decorated in colour with one bed and the half of the room with the person laying on the bed was almost completely in black with a bunch of posters on the walls. Most importantly, on the floor lay a box with a spinny thing spinning that seemed to be playing the sounds! Belphie held his teddy in one hand and lifted up the thing that was running across the big black circle. Immediately the sound stopped and the figure sat up, with layered dark shoulder length hair, layered dark black white and red clothes, and enough eyeliner to paint the colourful bright half of the room pitch black. A teen Lucifer looks down at Belphie with a sour expression, upset his mope session had been interrupted. "What are you doing here?" He asks the small indigo-haired angel. Belphie looks up at him with wide, sparkling eyes before pointing to the record player. "Why's it makin' sound? There's no choir in there...." Lucifer's eyes soften. His mope session about meeting the demon prince, not hating him, and finding him pretty like the human he met down in the human world could wait. "It's a record player, Belphs." The teenager's too emo, the end is nigh, everything sucks, too cool for love and affection persona drops and reveals his softie interior. Lucifer picks up his younger brother and places him on his bed as he takes out the record that was playing in the record player and putting on one that would be much less intimidating for someone as young as Belphie. He sits back onto the bed and the small boy cuddles up to his big brother, ever the affectionate child. As the record plays on Belphie grins up at Lucifer, revealling one missing front tooth. He had lost them early, shortly after Beel's tooth had fallen out. Lucifer grinned too, suppressing a chuckle at how Beel hadn't even realised his tooth was wobbly until he bit into his breakfast and found his tooth lodged into the food. "Luci! I likes this music!" "Do you?" "Mhm!" Lucifer grins, petting his youngest brother's head. "I'll tell you what. For your birthday I'll get you your very own record player and lend you some vinyls, we can even go to the human world and pick some new ones out. I'll show you how to play them when you have them, okay?" "Okay! Thank you Luci!" After a while, the songs change from high energy into ballads, Belphie's eyes grow heavier, as do his big brother's. Belphie curled up into the elder's side, abandoning his teddy bear for grabbing at the fabric of Lucifer's shirt with tiny grubby hands as he nodded off. Lucifer made sure to try not to move, in result of the slow rock ballad music and staying completely still so not to jostle and wake up his youngest brother who would 100% get cranky if woken. Slowly, Lucifer's eyes start to close, and he falls into a soft slumber as well.

And hey, if Michael returned from his walk, and after leaving Beel and Lilith into a play room went to check in on Lucifer and saw that sight; and then proceeded to grin and take multiple photos of said sight from multiple angles to use as blackmail on his little emo twin brother Lucikins on a later occassion, then that was Michael’s business and Michael’s business alone. And Lucifer's business when Michael didn't want to do the dishes when it was his night to do them, of course.

But if you ask, Belphie'll tell you that visiting the human world is what got him interested in that type of music.

Because he's a stinky smelly little liar and should be locked up in an attic.

On a side note he bullies you for being 'emo' :(

Bro is such a hypocrite.

But to be geniune, Belphie loves that he can share his music with you. He's happy you can bond over this with him.

Not that he'd ever outright tell you.

But you can tell in the way he gives you albums and vinyls as gifts, and makes you little playlists of ballads to sleep to. (He's gotten you into the habit smh.)

[r0semultiverse]

Mr. 6 made you do a good show to be released?? 👀 um....

This is already giving serious eye vibes.

A whole show dedicated to public humiliation?

The Mr. Bonzo suit started moving??? 👀 Serious stranger vibes. 🤡

"It actually became a sort of ritual"

I've seen people being like "don't cross tag" but buddy... the writing cross tags itself here I mean c'mon! 😂 Something something ritual of the stranger- okay, I'll keep listening!

Hey, what's with the music?? Hey, who is Terrance Menki???👀

"The police said there were eleven bodies in total and his wardrobe was full of all sorts of homemade costumes." BRO IS ACTUALLY MAGNUSPOD WILLIAM AFTON-

"It certainly had a profound effect on the Mr. Bonzo brand." Oh I'm sure it did, holy fucking shit. 👀

Oh, me using this image is rather ironic now.

"In a lot of ways I’m more his prisoner now than I ever was on my show." WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? 👀

"The witness statements from three murders over the last five years that claim a person in a Mr. Bonzo costume was at the scene? Do you think there could be a copycat?" Has the fear of clowns manifested as an actual clown-guything?

"Don’t contact us again." "Us?" "Why am I still trapped dealing with all this this- Why won’t he let me go?! Why-" So Mr. Bonzo is absolutely a clown cryptid of sorts with some sort of hold over Nigel.

Oh no, Gwen's about to fuck around & find out, isn't she? 👀

Hey, is Colin still himself & is he supposed to be back?

Hmm, okay, I guess that's him (hopefully).

"Maybe don’t tell them I’ve been on their terminals. They’ll only get the wrong idea." "If Lena asks, I wasn’t here." Seems like everyone's got their own little secret investigations going on, fun! This can only go well! 🙃

One of the episodes absolutely no one shows up to work except Lena is there & is like "where the fuck did everyone go?"

"Time to get some new hires again I guess."

Let's go!! Ruin exploration gang!!

"Like, it’s Saturday night and I’m choosing to hang out in a hole with you. A wet hole. And not the good kind either."

Alice with the absolute best quotes. lmao

That sounds like something with giant wings like a bat or some sort of cloth flapping in the wind. Let's hope it's the latter!

Oh a rusty old filing cabinet! Wait tetanus- 😭

"That carved floor in the big atrium – I don’t know what’s going on with that." Ah so we're just gonna breeze past that then. 😶

These are probably the remnants of old avatar creation test areas like mentioned in the Gerry & Gertrude episode. I'm just assuming here.

A key? Big find! Let's go!

AS I WAS SAYING-

Gwen, it was nice knowing you. 🫡

"Now get out of his house."

Archivist! 👁👄👁

"symbols of ancient otherworldly power"

Wait could this be a timeline where this universe's Jane Prentiss actually did manage to invade the building & succeed? I'm thinking out loud.

21:10 that sounds like critters, insects specifically 👀

"I have memories of weird stuff I saw here, but no context. I want to know what was happening, why they chose us… why they didn’t choose me. Maybe find the bit where everything started to go wrong." I am so captivated & intrigued please recount said memories to us- I mean Alice so we can learn more. Please. 👀

EXCUSE ME, WHO THE FUCK WAS THAT?!? WHO IS "[ERROR]?"

WHY DO THEY SOUND DISTORTED AS FUCK?? ARE THEY FROM THE PRIME TIMELINE OR IS THIS A NEW THING?

ARE WE GAZING OUR EYES UPON A WRETCHED THING FROM THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES?!

edit:

Is Lucia Wright an avatar of The Flesh now (in this universe or from the original timeline somehow)? Because it sure fucking sounds like it! 👀 Well, at least that key was put to good use! 😂

Also, supposedly Mr. Bonzo is a reference to Mr. Blobby.

Gwen, I'd be quaking in my boots too. That thing is terrifying!

Late observation but this universe & story seems to focus a lot on the cryptids & I like the direction it's going in! Loving this plot of cryptid hunters, childhood avatar experiments, a strange institute where our main character has past trauma, & just all of it is so good! 💜

Amazing episode, 10/10, I was at the edge of my seat the entire time! 💜 That Bonzo scene & the sound design were absolutely horrifying, thank you! The ending too! 🔥

[stjernehiimmel]

ever since writing the bf felix hcs, ive thought about doing them for all the members....... a banger idea imo

random bf skz headcanons.

bang chan:

he's often busy, but texts you a lot during the day and night, to make sure you're okay.

whenever he's not busy, he's cooking homemade meals for you. you always tell him how he's spoiling you by doing this, to which he smiles (totally showing off those cute dimples on purpose.)

you two would definitely wear cute matching tshirts and hoodies.

you absolutely love to ruffle his hair, especially when he's got his natural curls. he doesn't get why you like his hair so much, but he thinks it feels nice when you run your fingers through it.

lee know:

soonie, doongie and dori all love you. it kinda makes your boyfriend jealous (but don't worry, it goes both ways.)

you often go visit cat cafés together and pet cute kitties, totally making minho's beloved cats jealous when you come home and they smell the stranger cats on your clothes.

sometimes he says the most random and kind of unsettling things at random times. while others would find him weird, you respond in the exact same way, totally enabling each other’s chaotic and random vibes.

the things you two talk about make no fucking sense sometimes.

he says he likes watching movies by himself, but you've definitely seen his slight smile when you say you want to join.

changbin:

he'll gladly flex his muscles for you if you ask him to.

all jokes aside, you two often work out together. imagine you trying to do a pull-up and you find it difficult...

he'll come help by lifting you up by your waist 🤭

whenever you don't work out or go out to eat together, you watch either really shitty or good horror movies.

it's always a 50/50% chance if the movie is good or not. usually it's changbin choosing what you're gonna watch and he has a tendency to choose kind of cheesy and bad ones.

but in the chance that it's a good, scary one, he'll hold you close so you don't get scared.

hyunjin:

you can definitely expect to be a model - or at least inspiration - for his paintings. he always tells you that you're beautiful and that he wants to paint something that reminds him of you.

other times you both have chaotic energy and go terrorize the public with it. like that time hyunjin wanted to record a video of you dancing the choreography to lalalala by a fountain and then you proceeded to slip and fall into the water by accident. he has never laughed that much before in his life (after making sure you were okay, of course.)

you’re both total drama queens, but that’s what makes the two of you so good and funny together.

sometimes, however, you have to remind your boyfriend to not side eye people. mostly because you’re scared he might get airfryed… again.

han:

most of the time you two just chill and lay around, occasionally showing each other a funny tiktok you found.

and then at other times you will go buy snacks and drinks, then put on a good anime and cuddle close under a cozy blanket.

✨ just introvert things ✨

whenever you have both decided you've been inside for too long, you'll go for a long walk to get fresh air. sometimes you'll even stop by a café and get a coffee (and maybe a slice of cake you can share too!)

and then back you go to chilling 🥹

felix:

he'll definitely bake brownies and other tasty things for you.

he looks expectantly at you as you taste what he's baked for you. don't upset him 🥺

you'll often play video games together.

felix tends to be a bit of a nerd in the games you two play, but you think it's cute. especially when he's secretly built something special in minecraft for you (probably from a build he saw on youtube)

you and felix go shopping for clothes as well.

he'll wait patiently outside the changing room while you're trying on clothes. and if you're ever in doubt about something, you can ask for his opinion.

seungmin:

coffee dates. always.

he gets very excited about grabbing a coffee with you. often he'll have a small gift with him.

you two always take cute selfies together.

you can definitely expect him to be the one to take the best photos of you. he's talented!

he's super quick to notice when you're feeling sad or angry. and he'll do his best to cheer you up again.

in:

you go on marvel marathons often. even though you've probably watched all the movies over 10 times.

he likes cooking, so you two do that a lot together. although, he often ends up breaking something... he's a bit clumsy.

he just (nervously) laughs about it while you're scolding him though.

you always end up forgiving him. you can't be mad at that smiley face.

you two will also just lay around and shop for clothes online, showing each other what you're planning on buying.

[garfunklefield]

He’s into it!

18+ viewer discretion is advised

Fem!reader/Ryomen Sukuna Warnings: established relationship, furry!reader, reader is a furry, reader is into super pink frilly Sanrio stuff, Sukuna is a whipped simp, Sukuna and Yuji are brothers mentioned, fluff, mainly fluff with a treat at the end, grinding, dry humping, pet names (pup & puppy), aftercare Word count: 1644 DESC: Ryomen Sukuna hater of mullets lover of furries

This was originally a Drabble but I got carried away! I kinda wanna make this a series, should I?

Link to my Ko-fi if you want to support me!

Requests and ASKS are open!!!

Ryomen Sukuna would never admit it to you, but he likes it when you wear those ears and paws. It was a shameless hobby you had, dressing up like that for your Instagram. It was innocent but perfect. He loved how the paws were lightly colored and oversized, making you seem smaller. Then how the ears were the same.

You looked perfect. It was perfect! But… while it was all innocent and cute he couldn’t help but feel a deep and brooding feeling reside in his chest. God, it turned him on. The way you pranced around with your phone in public, taking photos with strangers if they asked. How your eyes lit up at conventions you dragged him to, forcing him to look at all the different paws and suits. Ryomen would of course pretend it was the worst thing on her, gaffing and rolling his eyes.

And then when you weren’t looking, he’d palm the fur of a pair of ears in his hand just because he loved the fluff. He had a habit of staring at cute things. Maybe that’s why he liked you. Even though he was the total opposite, with his big black tattoos and semi-shaved haircut. You two looked -acted- completely different. Yet he liked that. You could rant to him about some drama in your community and he’d just listen. Sure he didn’t understand all of it but he just wanted to keep you happy. Not to mention he just loved looking at you like that. Pouting pink lips and fluffy pink ears. Especially the clipped ones with bows and bells.

There was a point where it was becoming too much for him. He was seated on your light-colored bed, hugging a pillow to his chest as you hummed. You were changing into something he was told he wasn’t allowed to look at until you were done. Of course, he grumbled a curse and gave you a pointed look before doing exactly as you said. He caught small glimpses, something pink and frilly of course. God, he just wanted to rip it off of your curved body and fuck you senseless.

Ryomen had a habit of staring at cute things, yes, but he had a worse habit of staring at plump skin. So when he saw you, chubby and completely adorned in the cutest clothing he’d ever seen, he needed you. It was a weird thing, so weird his younger brother liked to tease him over.

“The girl's 5’4 and she’s got you completely whipped, Ryo!” Yuji would chortle, throwing his head back before receiving a coke can to the gut.

“Shut up, brat,” Ryomen retorted, rolling his eyes as always. He didn’t admit the hold you had on him to anyone else but you if you asked him. He’d just shrug and say something like “I please my woman” which was Ryomen Sukuna for “Please marry me I’m in love with you if you leave me I’ll kill myself”.

“Ryomen,” you murmured, turning on your white socks to show your outfit. My god. He was completely done for. There was no way he was going to recover from seeing you in that! Hell, it wasn’t even revealing but it was cute. It was fucking cute. And that’s what got him!

It was a ruffled pink dress, with a ribbon cinching it just below your breasts, letting the rest of the dress flow out. It came down quite low, about your knees. Then some white stockings to cover the rest. By itself it was fine. But you paired it with your favorite ears, paws, and now a fucking tail. Ryomen swallowed and blinked a few times. He had to keep the dress intact, he had to keep the dress in TACT.

Your face fell after a moment of no answer from your boyfriend. A pout formed over your bottom lip, shining in the glowing light with a hint of sparkle. New lipgloss. He looked down at his pants, groaning at the sight of his bulge. Of course, he was solid just from a look.

“Is it really that bad?” You frowned, crossing your arms. Oh don’t do that, he thought as his eyes glanced to your slightly exposed cleavage. You were torturing him in a way you never had before, and you were completely oblivious!

Ryomen muttered your name and hissed, rolling on his side and huffing to sit on the edge of the bed. He motioned his big arm in your direction, beckoning you to come over to him. You nodded and slowly crept towards your boyfriend. At that point, you had to have seen his boner, right?

“You look nice,” he whispered, wrapping one of his big hands around your waist. His other tapped your leg, signaling he wanted you on him. Even if this turned into nothing more than a wholesome interaction, he wanted you to touch him in some way, shape, or form.

“I thought you didn’t like it,” you sighed and sat down. Your eyes widened when his tent pressed against the front of your crotch, “Oh.”

“I like it,” he grumbled, “I think I like it a hell of a lot more than I should. Is that weird?” He looked at your face, which was flushed a deep pink. A small frown pulled at his bottom lip and he used his free hand to poke at the apple of your cheek, “Don’t just stare at me, woman.”

You gave him a small warning look and he quickly corrected himself, “Don’t just stare at me … princess.”

“Everyone has their fetishes. I didn’t know you liked the furry thing like that,” you spoke delicately, with a tiny smile. Clearly, you weren’t weirded out by his admission of guilt. Ryomen nodded and leaned forward, resting his head against your collarbone.

“Don’t think about teasing me in front of the brat,” he mumbled against your skin, wrapping two meaty arms around your back.

You giggled and let one hand trail up his own back to his pink hair, “I won’t. It’s kind of hot that you like it anyway…” He knew the exact expression you were making even if he didn’t see you. It was the far-away look, with an almost innocent stare. It wasn’t really innocent though. That’s why it drove him mad. You could see the sexuality burning behind your eyes as you bit down on your lip. It made him insane with lust.

“Hot huh?” He sat up, looking up at you with narrowed eyes, “I didn’t bring any condoms.” Ryomen didn’t want to admit it but he had an idea that would keep your perfect outfit on without getting ruined, not get you pregnant, and get him off. One of his hands slid down your side and up your skirt to touch along your thigh, “Grind your pussy on my bulge, puppy.”

You nodded and bit down on your swollen lip again, putting both hands on your back to remove your dress. His other hand instinctively grabbed yours and stopped you, “No. Keep it on.”

You raised an eyebrow, “Oh… okay.”

The two of you found yourselves back against the bed. Ryomen laid on his back as you ground your soaked clothed cunt against his precum-stained shorts. His hands were planted on your hips, rocking them back and forth to get the job done. He leaned his head back against one of your sanity pillows, hoping he wouldn’t cum yet. You felt so good he just needed this to last a few seconds longer. Even though he couldn’t be inside you, he didn’t need to be. Just seeing your face and how it contorted in pleasure was enough for him. You moaned like a goddess, thrusting into him for your pleasure.

“F..fuck pup. You’re driving me mad with- with that damn... mmm those ears.. f-f..uck,” he had never been so foggy.

It had to have been the outfit. Your naked body was beautiful but that’s all he’d ever fucked. He’d never fucked you decorated in all this cute stuff. God, it got him so close. He was just throbbing from the impending euphoria. Then he heard you whimper and it was all over. Your sounds got louder and louder, filling his ears with your pleasure. You placed both hands against his own, pressing your wetness further against his cock. It drove him over the edge and he gasped as a load shot out of his swollen tip. Ryomen had never cum that way, continuing to rub your cunt against him to elongate his high.

You bit your lip at the sensation, cumming a few moments later from seeing your boyfriend lose control. Even though, as he came down from his high, he felt sticky and gross, Ryomen wouldn’t have changed a thing. Seeing you in that pretty outfit grind against him made him so hot and bothered beyond belief. It was better than any penetration he could’ve asked for.

“I love you,” he whispered, pushing you down beside him. You nodded and fell forward against the bed, mumbling your own I love you as well. Ryomen Sukuna kicked off his now very soggy shorts and underwear, opting for a commando-style dress, taking off his shirt as well. You glanced at him and yawned as he sat down next to you, beginning to undo your outfit. “Ryomen…?” You mumbled in a bit of confusion.

“Let me do this, brat- er… my love,” he wasn’t very good at these sorts of pet names unless he was about to cum, it was clear. You were undressed in a few moments and pressed against your boyfriend's chest. He knew you liked this sort of thing. Aftercare? Ryomen wasn’t sure what it was exactly, but he knew it was important.

Making you happy was the most important thing in the world to him.

[blacklegsanjiii]

A very random mix but totally good and funny: North Blue Lenguage (or NBL like I started to call this) + Loved!Sanji

Judge thinks his experiments on his childrens go 100% well, when in truth just half works. (They have feelings, all of them)

Sora discovers her plan worked and decides to run away with all her kids. Because fuck it, she may be sick but letting her precious childs with Judge is a big no.

After this, things kind of go like NBL, Mihawk finding them and taking them with him to Kuraigana, Sora and Mihawk falling in love, etc etc etc. Just now it's not one but five kids.

Since just Sanji wants to be a cook, when he starts to work at Baratie, his siblings stay at Kuraigana. They still see each other but usually with their parents.

And for security, Sanji don't mention his siblings too. So no one knows about them until Karai Barai.

(This could have Acesan too, with Mihawk saving Ace and Luffy 'cause, y'know, they're Sanji's boyfriend and captain. So in Kuraigana during some time there is Zoro, Luffy and Ace recovering, all confused about WHY there's two womans and three boys who look a lot like the cook – until they found a family picture with Sanji and the chaos start, for different reasons, of course)

I've also started calling it NBL! It's still tagged as North Blue language though so it stays all falls under that. It gets long under the cut and Buggy is still competent! Also a hilarious image of Mihawk, five children and Sora all on his tiny boat. Chances are he's like 'fuck it, I'm a pirate' and steals a bigger boat.

Mihawk who is staring at these six individuals, almost all of them look identical if it weren't for the colored hair and eyebrows. Four of them have them curled one way, one has them curled the other, and their mom has normal brows. He's basically taking complete strangers to his home and the kids are all so fucking helpful it's weird. To their mom, to him, to each other, and four of them are really protective of Sanji.

Mihawk blinks at the names they have and the girl, Reiju, explains what happened to them, to Sora, who Judge is and what he did to Sanji specifically. Mihawk has fury burning inside him as he listens that he's never heard before but the kids and Sora take to him extremely well and he takes to them just as well and much quicker. Mihawk doesn't know what is going on with him.

Of course when he and Sora get together all the kids celebrate and it's actually very sweet. Sanji cooks better than Mihawk and everyone loves it. The kids all have PTSD, obviously Sanji has it the worst but Reiju isn't far behind. Mihawk and Sora talk constantly about how to best keep them secret to stop Judge from finding them, so when the opportunity to become a warlord comes up he takes it.

Imagine Ace and Sanji start dating and sending letters back and forth when Ace eats at Baratie once before he and the Spadille Pirates head to the Grand Line and he tells his family all about him and what he's like and what he's up to and how sweet they are on each other makes Sora and Reiju coo and 124ji gag and Mihawk rolls his eyes because he gets it. He's the same way with Sora after all. All the siblings want to go give Ace a shovel talk and Mihawk shuts that down. Then a couple years later Sanji sends a letter after Mihawk spared Zoro saying he joined Luffy's crew and he's setting sail and they'll be in the Grand Line soon.

They read the paper, cringe at his poster and freak out about Enies Lobby and then Perona appears. She is once again adopted and then Zoro appears and freaks out about the cook being in front of him when the crew was all sent to different places. He has no idea where anyone is and he needs to get back to Sabaody and Sora is giving Mihawk a look. But then he gets a denden call.

For a summons to serve at Ace's execution.

Mihawk immediately goes to talk to Sora and the kids, minus Perona and Zoro and they talk about him leaving the Warlord system to save Ace if it's a possibility. They all immediately agree. They can handle the backlash, Sanji had a dream and a love, those were more important than their secret. They were stronger now, they could protect themselves.

So he goes and sees Luffy and Ace and the fleet so it's a possibility and he is willing to take it so he aids in the fight. He helps free Ace and aids in fighting the admirals and vice admirals and he even cuts the lava fist that is supposed to kill Ace with a haki laced Yoru. Mihawk is unwilling to let them die and sends them off to take over the fight.

"This isn't your fight!" Ace yells at him and Mihawk stands in between him and Akainu.

"Boy, if you don't run and live for those who care for you I will follow you to Hell and drag you out myself!" Mihawk threatens. "Go!" So they do, Ace and Luffy go but Akainu throws a punch around him that hits Ace and Luffy but isn't going to kill them. Mihawk might actually be pissed enough to behead Akainu, but doesn't. When Shanks shows up and ends the war Mihawk manages to find Bepo and gives him directions to Kuraigana.

Ichiji and Yonji bring them in and Mihawk thanks Law who says the normal 'too interesting to let die' which Mihawk agrees with. He sees off the heart crew and checks on the newcomers and Zoro who has Luffy curled around him and yelling as Niji is yelling at him to lay down.

"Why are there so many Sanji's?" Luffy asks after he's calmed down about Zoro as Ace is blinking at the almost clones of his boyfriend before he has the realization.

"Oh no." Ace whispers in horror at his realization.

"If you thought I would let Sanji's love die, you're wrong." Mihawk says. "I'm not the one you should be scared of about this either."

"Huh, what does that mean?" Zoro asks.

"Our mom is scarier." Niji says.

"Your dad is the world's greatest swordsman and your mom is scarier?" Zoro demands.

"If you get us killed I'm going to haunt your ass for the next four lives." Perona threatens as she peels Luffy off him.

"You all should sleep, and you need to be in your bed." Reiju says to Luffy. Luffy whines that he and his brother almost died and Reiju says that's exactly why because Law said if he reopens his chest wound he will die. So Ace and Zoro try to cajole Luffy into his own bed and he's out fairly quickly.

Sora is bringing them food at some point and Ace asks about what Niji said because there's a reason he hasn't introduced Sanji to the fleet and that reason is the amount of shovel talks Sanji would get and Sora laughs and pats his cheek, tells him not to worry about that. Luffy asks if the rest of the crew is here since Zoro and Sora says no but they'll find the crew and check on them for him while they are off training or such.

I feel like Mihawk takes the two brothers and Zoro to Rayleigh and the Shirohige fleet, one so they can spend more time together, and two so Mihawk doesn't come back to a Zoro filled with bullet holes from his wife. Mihawk is sure she wouldn't kill him but he'd probably almost die again so off he goes with them.

"You have a lot of gall trading sides like that." Rayleigh says, almost teasingly to Mihawk.

"He dates my son and has been for some years. I'd say it was rather tasteless of you and the other members of the former Roger Pirates aside from Shanks and Buggy of all people to not step in and help." Mihawk says smoothly. Rayleigh blinks at him as Zoro grumbles about the clown and Luffy says he's lame.

"Oh, I should probably let B know I'm alive. Chances are he knows and I'm on my way back because of his network." Ace mumbles.

"His what?" Zoro and Rayleigh ask.

"You guys really think he would be that useless?" Ace yells at them.

"Well, yeah, he's lame." Luffy says while picking his nose.

"I've only heard rumors of it, a lot of information brokers use him to gauge rookies from the East Blue as well as the Revolutionary Army for their routes if I'm not mistaken." Mihawk nods.

"Wait, you have a son?" Rayleigh asks and claps Mihawk on the shoulder. "I remember when you challenged Roger and got your ass kicked." He laughs.

"I was eighteen, and I have five children." Mihawk says shrugging Rayleigh's hand off his shoulder. He ignores the balking questions from Rayleigh as Zoro and Ace hug Luffy before they head to the White Beard fleet to drop Ace off with Marco who thanks him.

"Just so you're aware whenever you inevitably meet Sanji I would appreciate it if the entire fleet did not give him a shovel talk. Ace was only told to be afraid of my wife in regards to dying." Mihawk says and Marco laughs.

"Sorry, someone married you? And had kids with you? Fuck, she would be terrifying. I think that's something we can handle." Marco nods as he ruffles Ace's hair.

"Well, I basically adopted them and then married their mother." Mihawk explains.

"They all look the same, except they have different colored hair. Sanji's eyebrows curl differently though." Ace says.

"Okay, buddy, go find something to eat." Marco says as Ace bows to them and leaves. "Okay so tell me about your wife? Does Shanks know? Does the government? How did this happen?" Marco rattles off.

"Goodbye, Marco." Mihawk says as he and Zoro leave.

When the two years are up Ace joins the crew and Sanji and Ace have their own room on the Sunny. Sabo in Dressrosa asks about them after getting punched in the face by Luffy and the stomach by Ace. Luffy excitedly tells Sabo Ace is dating Sanji and Sanji's family is so cool because his dad is Mihawk and all his siblings look just like him almost! Sabo is staring at Ace, not blinking as Luffy rattles all this off. Ace shrugs sheepishly and says they've been dating five years at that point which makes Sabo yell at him and Ace yell back.

when WCI rolls around Ace goes with. He thinks Pudding is fine but he and Sanji have been dating, albeit long distance until recently but the cook also never mentioned his family. Never. So when he sees the fight and Sanji "breaking up" with him he's pissed because he knows Sanji doesn't want to be doing this.

Of course on the way out Judge is yelling at Sanji about the best parts of him being failures and he should have followed suit with his mother and siblings and die. Sanji knows they aren't dead. He knows it but he keeps his fucking mouth shut and holds Ace back as Luffy asks why he started listing all of Sanji's good qualities and if he knows about his family. Judge demands to know what he means by that and Sanji says he'll find out soon enough.

And then a very big poster sized wanted poster comes out on the way to Wano. A family photo of Mihawk, Sora, and the kids and their individual bounties, close up photos(a decent one of Sanji too)comes out of the paper, as well as the rescue team's updated bounties.

When they eventually all go to Karai Bari because Sanji still has a separate bounty from his family the Wano team doesn't know and most of the rescue team have seemingly forgotten. So the amount of screaming is absurd to Crocodile and Mihawk but Ace is hugging Buggy and calling him Uncle B as Buggy keeps asking him if he's eating properly, how is Marco, keeps telling him where Richie is. Then Ace pulls Sanji over and introduces him as his boyfriend. 0124 look at them, then the clown, and then their parents.

"Did you already forget who my parents are?" Sanji deadpans to Ace.

"Wow, they really do all look alike." Chopper says as he looks over the kids.

"I should hope so, the boys are quadruplets. Reiju is only a few years older than them." Sora laughs.

"I'm sorry, what? Quadruplets?" Usopp asks.

"Yeah! Our mom drank poison so that Judge's experiments failed kind of, mostly Sanji failed and then the rest of us are really hard to kill." Yonji says.

"Huh?" Buggy and Ace ask.

"Check this out!" Yonji yells.

"How did it go in Tottoland?" Sora asks as Yonji shoots his hands away, Ichiji fires lasers from his eyes and Niji jokingly shocks Luffy since he's rubber.

"I think Judge got killed by Big Mom." Sanji says. "Awful otherwise."

"Well that's one less thing to worry about." Mihawk says

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA FOR NOT CALLING CPS ON A CUSTOMER?

(mentions of child abuse but nothing graphic)

I (F29) work at a big name kid’s clothing store with my coworker M (F25). M and I usually get along, but she’s always been super hard on one of our regulars who I’ll call Granny L (F70+).

Granny L has been coming here for years, at least once a week, to get clothes for her grandchildren, 2 girls and 3 boys. Her daughter is a homeless meth head and Granny L has had custody of the kids most of their lives. I think she’s amazing for taking them in and spoiling them with so many brand new clothes and toys, but M is wary of her because apparently M was also raised by her grandmother, but her grandmother was physically and emotionally abusive. According to M, every little thing is a sign Granny L abuses her grandkids. Buying them new pants? “Trying to cover bruises on their legs.” Buying them a toy? “Buying their silence.” Taking them out for ice cream? “Will be used to guilt them later.”

Usually I brush these things off, but the other day Granny L brought her youngest grandkid (M4) in, and he was just. Oddly well behaved. Walked briskly behind her with his hands crossed behind his back, like a little soldier. His mouth was puckered tightly shut like it was taking a lot to keep it closed. And a couple times when Granny L turned to him he flinched or visibly jumped back. She saw me watching and laughed and said he’s on the spectrum, so remembering to be on his best behavior takes a lot of concentration, and she promised if he was good he’d get a new video game. The kid just looked at the ground while she talked to me, and shied away from her touch when she tried to put her arm around him as they left.

I brought it up to M later as a “isn’t this weird” thing, but she practically broke down sobbing and told me to call CPS. She said everything I saw were classic signs of abuse, I said he could just be a quiet and touch averse autistic kid. She begged me all day to make the call, because I was the eye witness and if she called with secondhand info they’d just hang up on her, and I finally snapped and said she needs to start acting like an adult and stop projecting her childhood trauma onto total strangers like a fucking weirdo.

I knew I was an asshole for saying THAT as soon as her face crumpled and she sadly walked away, and she’s been avoiding me since. I don’t need to be told I fucked up there, I know I did. But I’ve been thinking of what she said about Granny L more, and idk? Maybe she’s right? I don’t actually know what signs of autism OR child abuse look like, and she’s at least more equipped to recognize one of those things. SO AITA for not calling CPS like she suggested?

What are these acronyms?

[queers-gambit]

When Eddie Munson is Mad or Frustrated HCs

prompt: headcanons about Eddie being mad / frustrated with reader.

pairing: Eddie Munson x reader

fandom masterlist: Stranger Things

warnings: cursing, is this angst i don't even know, uh, talk of anxiety, anger, uh, maybe 'physical anger' but i promise it's like one sentence? once again, please proceed at your own risk!

• Eddie's super easy-going, so he's next to never frustrated or angry with you. doesn't mean it doesn't happen, okay?

• he's the type to always use a slew of pet names, so the moment you hear your government name come from his lips, your stomach drops a little. truth is, you hate hearing your full name from him.

• he doesn't like that your eyes will go wide and your eyebrows will soften a little - he knows you're his sweetheart, and he never calls you your name. it tastes weird on his tongue but he stands firm. he needs you to know he's seriously upset.

• because, again, he's next to never mad at you - so, when he is, oh, he's big mad! and he gets this stony look on his face that makes your stomach knot together.

• he snaps a lot when he's mad. maybe uses a tone that he only uses for bullies, or when he's defending himself against his Uncle.

• Eddie gets lost in his thoughts so he glowers a lot.

• sometimes it comes off as a glare, yikes.

• all depends on what you're fighting about but it can last for a span of 6 hours, or 6 fucking days. all depends on how angry either of you are.

• look, it could be anything he's mad about, but 9 times out of 10, it's over something that can be solved. he needs to have a reaction first.

• most of his frustration and anger comes from being overwhelmed, so, the boy just needs to feel his feelings.

• depending on the fight, he uses sarcasm a lot. okay - it's a defense mechanism, he can't really help it in some cases. what's the opposite of 'cat's got your tongue?' because if Eddie's frustrated enough, he won't shut up when antagonizing or instigating you.

• ah, maybe because of his home life, he might use guilt a lot. he doesn't always realize he's doing it, he's just repeating what he's hearing you say and it's totally warped in a way.

• "oh, I get it! so, you're saying you don't love me?"

• "Eddie, I said I was feeling frustrated by how often we fight about Jason's stupid-ass! And that you need to let this shit go!"

• truth was, he knows you're Jason's math-appointed tutor but it doesn't mean he likes it!

• being said, neither of you listen to rumors of the high school hallways because they were often altered from their actual happening. so, you're both pretty good at confronting rumors.

• doesn't mean you're both totally immune, but Eddie's not the type to listen to a bunch of shitheads over you. so, if he hears something that concerns him, he'll ask you about it - and vice versa.

• doesn't mean he's always mature about confronting you but he's getting better at that!

( • you're almost at the point where you can share a joint on a Friday night and talk about the shit-rumors you both heard at some point during school. almost... )

• all that to say, if Eddie's mad, it's for a good reason because he doesn't concern himself with bullshit. and he's normally not very reactive in his anger, so, he'll silently stew in it but that usually just festers his irritation.

• Eddie gives the cold shoulder.

• he won't throw his arm around you or hold your hand. hey, that's saying a lot for two people who almost rely on physically touching one another when in proximity!

• but he'll still take your book bag and / or binders into his hands before taking you home. even when angry, he's still a gentleman and won't go back on his promise to make sure you get home safely. he'll just take your things into his own possession on your way out of school, or practice, and mutter to get in his van before totally ignoring you otherwise. dickhead.

• Eddie has a hard time with words. so, when he takes you home, he doesn't say a single thing, right? he won't reach for your thigh or your hand, he'll crank the radio and fulfill his boyfriendly duty by escorting you home after a long day of education.

• and when he's mad, he'll torture both of you. there's no touching, there's no conversation, he won't budge when you beg him to talk to you. he won't call you to invite you over for a midnight visit, he won't sneak over and let himself in through your attic's faulty window. we're talking radio silence.

• it drives you slightly insane.

• and Eddie's a fucking professional at it: giving the cold shoulder, going radio silent, allowing himself to get stuck in his head because he's trying to decide on the right words.

• he won't kiss you properly, either (another way he tortures you both). when he's mad, he's quiet but when he takes you home, he might peck your lips when he says goodbye. maybe he'll just peck your cheek, or just let you kiss him.

• he doesn't allow himself be romanced into your kisses because he has reason to be angry, damn it! so he mostly avoids kissing you because you've been known to start kissing him as a distraction. when angry, Eddie avoids your lips.

• there's lots of nonverbal communication. he'll grunt, nod his head, anything that makes you think he's not fully listening. he knows that drives you a little crazy, so, he'll keep at it.

• you're typically the one who picks 'the fight'. he's content being silent (despite dying on the inside because holy fuck does he wanna hold your hand) and pretending "nothing's wrong" because he just doesn't want to fight.

• i know, i know - huh? well, he's mad for a good reason but he really doesn't want to fight. he's a sensitive boy, and confrontation potentially triggers him. you're his everything so even though he's mad, he really doesn't want the fight that comes with it.

• but the sweet boy isn't all fluff -

• when he's really mad, oh, he's picking the fight. the claws are out and he's definitely instigating you.

• he's not the type to bring up past events but he has been known to weaponize your words against you. yikes, again!

• however, when he does this, it usually leads to a much bigger fight about his habit of doing that - so, he tries not to. he's a stubborn dickhead but he doesn't want to actively hurt you, so, he makes a conscious effort to work out of this habit.

• because it makes you feel like you can't say anything without it later being turned against you - and Eddie's favorite thing in the fucking world is talking to you, so, lesson learned!

moving along -

• Eddie's passive aggressive. making comments about whatever he's mad about and hoping you fill in the blanks. it gets really annoying when he doesn't just outright tell you what's wrong, but he feels in the right for being upset so he's not very forthcoming with information.

• he avoids you, maybe he avoids your usual routines.

• for example, Eddie usually always walked you from your math class to the cafeteria but when he's mad, dude's nowhere to be found.

• does he want to be mad? nope. but he doesn't often know what to do with his emotions so if something's wrong, again, he needs to have some kind of reaction.

• again, Eddie is always writing you letters! so, it's common for him to paperclip together a few sheets of scribbled notes because he knows you'll read it and follow along. his brain just works a mile a minute and he tries to jot down everything he can.

• these papers usually highlight the actual issue, and then you can see the train of thought he was on that lead to a bigger issue.

• you keep these letters, too.

• neither of you like arguing so tension doesn't last.

• you consider him your best friend; he considers you his best friend. so, neither of you really worry about how angry you get because it's known you both want to work it out.

• you might be one of the few people that's seen him actually upset. and it stings when you know you're the cause of it.

• Eddie's stubborn in a fight. he'll try to keep hacking at the problem at hand despite your reasoning / explanation for everything. he wants you to understand that he was genuinely upset by something, so he'll keep picking at the scab until it bleeds again.

• however, once the fight is over - it's over! no grudges, no passive comments after that from either of you.

• you have a rule that the fight lasts as long as it needs to last before it's solved - but you don't go back to it. when the fight is over, you both are almost desperate to move on, so it becomes a thing of the past.

• he might bring up a few points later, but he's asking, "what did you mean by that?" because the sweet boy is just trying to understand in full what happened, how it happened, and how to avoid it in the future.

• every fight instills a new lesson of communication for you both.

• this isn't to say Ed doesn't get, like, really angry sometimes.

• typically, it's not something you've done but you might be the final straw that breaks his camel's back. and he explodes. he doesn't yell often but when things over boil for him, he's loud. very loud.

• face gets red, hands gesturing wildly, stressfully pulls at his hair, he paces a lot.

• he might toss a few things out of anger, too. he tries not to when in your presence because he doesn't want to subject you to that, but it's happened a few times.

• never, ever does he throw shit at you, but there's been a hairbrush lobbed across the room before as he's pacing and ranting out of anger.

• the impact is nowhere near you, so, you don't react to the physical anger. you've only seen it first hand a few times, and you know it's not being directed at you.

• but you're his sweetheart and do whatever you can to help.

• your job in those moments are to be on his side and help him navigate his emotions. it's a lot for our boy, he needs a little help.

• he's intense when frustrated or angry.

• ah, you know what, if Eddie's angry, it's probably best not to touch him. he's anxious and when his emotions are overwhelming him like that, sometimes, if you touch him at the wrong time, it can feel very uncomfortable for him.

• being said! after the initial outburst of energy, there's usually a sign that he's okay to be touched again. he might tell you verbally and wave you into his chest; other times, it's when his shoulders deflate, eyes leave your face as they swell with tears, and his fingers will tremble a little. usually, that can mean the adrenaline's leaving his system and it's okay to touch him now.

• and after feeling so angry, he could usually use some comfort.

• Eddie feels guilty after every fight and that's where the mixtapes are coming in. he's afraid you're now mad at him for being mad and basically ignoring you, so, he leaves the mixtapes in your mailbox.

• despite whatever anger shown to you, when it's over and he's feeling guilty, he really doesn't do confrontation. he's been vulnerable enough, so, he's trying to edge his way back into you.

• again, you listen to the mixtapes all night and talk to him the next day about whatever's happened. but you're soft about it and just try to cover all bases so that you both learn a lesson from whatever fight just ended.

• you've discovered that Eddie communicates through music sometimes, so, you try to relate the fight to the mixtape. he might not say it but his heart swells in his chest when you do that; it's like you're trying to speak his language.

• but you speak fluent Eddie.

• when you see him after the mixtape and get him talking, he can't shut up. Eddie just word vomits everything on his mind and it's up to you to sit quietly and just listen. you'll take mental notes about somethings he says - but you have to interrupt him when it becomes a little self-deprecating.

• the boy is insecure and often feels like he doesn't deserve you. so after particularly bad fights, he'll get it in his head that it's too much for you, you don't deserve this, and maybe someone like Harrington would be a better match -

• that's when you're interrupting him, telling him that's just anxiety and self-doubt worming their way into his mind. you're a professional at talking him down from these moments of high anxiety, and do your best to reassure him that these fights are good.

• they're good because it means you both still care enough to fight.

• and you want to keep having fights with him, and not Harrington.

• typically, you'll go on a date after the bad fights. he feels guilty for it, you feel guilty for it, and you both want to spend time being in love before it all blows over. that's the usual indication the fight is 100% over and done with - Eddie takes you for milkshakes, or something.

• or maybe he's taking you to a clearing and you're laying on top of his van, stargazing.

• he gets you flowers after every fight, i don't care! whether you started it or he did, he's picking you some wild flowers (or buying them from a floral shop if he's really fucked up) and showing up at your house with a small pout.

• Eddie doesn't like fighting with you, so, you both try to keep them at a minimum. but hey, dating someone means you're in their space a lot, and odds of you never fighting are slim-to-zero.

• Eddie considers himself lucky to have someone like you. someone willing to fight it out through the rain to get to the sunshine on the other side. someone who lets him feel his emotions without guilting him, before helping rein it all back in.

• he has his rougher moments but he's mostly just a dickhead when he's angry. i still want him, thank yewww.