#hints & tricks

[whoopsyeahokay]

Cuddle Bug

summary: a flashfic exploration of Wally's inability to be anything but a plural image when you're within reach. aka: he's codependent as fuck and neither you nor he care.

pairing: Wally Clark x fem!reader

warnings: fluff. smut lite. AU - everyone is alive (zesty). lore established offscreen.

bon reading, frens

___________________________🍃

Wally Clark's love language is physical touch. No surprise there. The guy needs cuddles like flowers need sunlight to thrive. Always has. Being a ghost for 40 years exacerbated that need, and now that he's a real boy again, he can't help himself. Wally sits too close, hugs hello and goodbye, touches arms and knees when he's telling a story.

It's just that much more amped up when it comes to you.

He was affectionate before you and he became inseparable. Lightly grazed your hand when he walked beside you, found every excuse to tackle you when he tried to teach you football techniques. Ajay and Charley stood there like extra wheels even though it'd been Wally who'd rallied everyone to the field.

What? Your giggle's so damn cute! No way was Wally going to be able to focus on anything else!

Besides Charley's just as bad when Yuri's around, and Simon can't even function when Maddie gives him the eyes. So, everyone can suck it as far as Wally's concerned.

During group activities, Wally would find a way to sit next to you. Would squish his long limbs between you and Maddie and give you a bright, boyish grin. Sometimes he'd stare Xavier down until he got the hint and scooched closer to Nicole at the lunch table, leaving a gap that Wally could settle into beside you. His arm around your shoulders and his knee touching yours. Totally innocent.

Wally brought your favorite snacks to Game Night, established himself as your personal chauffeur despite the fact that you lived closer to Simon and Rhonda, and loyally helped you filter clothes when you and the girls went shopping. Yes. He'd made himself one of the girls just to spend time with you. Don't look at him like that; it worked, didn't it? 👀

Since accepting him as your boyfriend (he grins so big, his cheeks ache), Wally's dependence on your touch, warmth, shape against his, has increased a hundredfold.

You sit on the picnic table before the first bell, chatting to Maddie and Claire about something Wally isn't listening to, his arms around your waist, upper body slumped between your legs, head resting on your thigh as you rake your fingers through his thick hair. Oh, he could die all over again and be the happiest of ghosts just for this. Not that he wants to be a ghost again. Not unless you're with him this time. Which would require you to die, too, and that's a terrible thought and he's never going to tell you about it. But the sentiment remains. Wally doesn't want to do anything without you, ever.

He managed to convince the secretary to put him in all your classes, pouting and pleading his case that he'd been dead since 1983 and, "it's so traumatic coming back, she's the only thing I have that feels real...please?" A tactic that he should stop abusing, but it worked on all the teachers when he requested to be sat next to you. Every time a teacher caved, Wally would fold into the desk beside you, beaming like a winner. And who cares? Mina and Ajay, and Charley and Yuri pulled the same doe-eyed trick and got what they wanted, why couldn't Wally do the same?

On Fridays, everyone piles into Wally's high school best friend's living room—Rodney now Wally's legal guardian for reasons—to have movie marathons. There's trivia to guess the movie. Winner gets one veto and can insert their own choice, but there's three movies in total so pick wisely! They figured out awhile ago that Wally sometimes (always) lets you win trivia when it's his turn to play his lineup. You never veto anything, equally as eager to watch what he opts for. It drives Simon and Ajay insane.

He takes over a whole couch, the three-seater, sprawls long-ways and tucks you between his legs, your body draped over him like a blanket as he wraps his arms around you and doesn't let go for anything. He traces patterns on your back, cradles your head against his chest, soaks up the physical contact like a sponge after years of ghostly numbness.

In the school halls, Wally keeps his hand on your hip. He kisses your head and cheeks and jaw. Doesn't care who sees because you're his girl and he'll do what he wants, thank you. He's proud that you call him yours and wants to show off who his heart belongs to. This one! This one said yes!

You're in his lap more than your own seat when the group descends upon Max's Diner after football games (that, no, Wally doesn't participate in. That era is firmly in the past and he'll never don a jersey again; sorry mom, God bless, rest in peace). His hands are all over you as you engage Rhonda in conversation; on your thighs, waist, back, hips. Anywhere and everywhere that's still appropriate in public. His head under your chin, eyes closed as he listens to your heartbeat, strong and steady, the rhythm matching his.

Wally rolls over in his bed, crushes you beneath his weight as he plays dead—knock on wood that that won't happen again for many years—and tries to stifle his laughter when you struggle to reverse the position. Eventually, he showers your skin with kisses, nudges between your thighs and laces his fingers with yours, pressing his smile to yours before kissing you deeply.

The sex is amazing, but nothing beats the afterglow when he has you pliant and sweet, curled into him on your side, your face in his chest, his hand on your lower back, whispering how much he loves you as you doze. Call him codependent, but Wally doesn't want to spend even an hour without you. He isn't a lost puppy, knows how to behave like a man. He just spent too many years being forgotten that he still has trust issues.

And you don't mind. You welcome it, in fact, and that makes Wally feel safer than he ever has. It makes it easy to ignore the looks people give you and him when you agree to go somewhere, "only if Wally's invited, too" because you and he are a package deal. And he does the same for you. Obviously, not for the same reasons, you're perfectly fine being alone, it's just that Wally's not ready to experiment with your absence just yet. Maybe never will be.

Rodney's long since accepted that Wally's room has become your room. From married and childless to married with several formerly-dead teenagers and their SOs, Rodney and his wife have accepted their homebase status like champs. They treat you like family—you have a house key for the rare occasion Wally isn't with you after school—and acknowledge that Wally can't sleep without you without suffering.

He stays curled around you all night, kisses you awake, big hand trailing from your waist to your hip as he nips the top knot of your spine and grinds his morning wood against your ass. God, you get him hard so easily, Wally sometimes thinks he should get checked out. You hum then sigh then turn in his arms, hook a leg over his and press yourself against him in exactly the right way.

Through half-lidded eyes, Wally gazes at you. Licks his lips as he rocks his hips slowly and watches your expression go from sleepsoft to wanting. You like how that feels baby? You want it inside you? And he kisses you deep and thorough, rolls you onto your back to fit between your legs, groans when one of your hands squeezes his ass through his boxer-briefs.

He needs to be inside you yesterday, loves how you feel, tight and wet and hot around him. Soft touches turn hard, light sweeps of lips turn to teeth and tongue and fresh bruises on your neck. Wally loves to taste you first, to prolong his pleasure by giving you yours, his tongue delving into you and sucking your clit gently; deliriously slow because he can't get enough.

It's not until you're begging him so pretty for his cock that he finally lets himself fuck into you, so hard and sensitive his brain explodes upon fitting deep inside you on the first thrust. A refrain of fuck, yes and oh God baby, you feel so good fills the room—sorry Rodney—the headboard smacking against the wall in time with Wally's hips. Throughout, Wally holds you like something precious, kisses you like salvation, breathes you in like he can't live without you.

He makes sure you come first before he even thinks about letting go, the sensation of you shaking apart around him ripping his own release right from his core. Wally licks into your mouth, moans like a beast, and then, one two three more stunted thrusts and he goes still. Hazy eyes hold yours and you can see the depth of his emotion for you. At least, he hopes so. How he'll treasure you forever. He'll never love anyone as much as he loves you. That's a promise and a threat and he smiles a lazy smile at you as you begin to giggle.

"What's so funny, baby?" Wally nudges your cheek with his nose.

"Nothing, I promise, I'm just...really happy." You tell him and he moans in delight.

"You don't feel suffocated or claustrophobic like Rhonda said you would?" Wally asks, a little insecure. Okay, a lot insecure, even if he doesn't usually feel that way about how reliant he is on your proximity. You've never given him a reason to feel anything but safe and happy and loved, but still. Rhonda knows how to hit bone even when she means well.

You shift, forcing Wally to look at you, your hands cradling his jaw, "Never. I will never, ever want this, us, to be anything but exactly how it is. I love having you all over me."

"Yeah?"

"Yes." And you grin, a warm little thing, "I like sharing everything with you. It's nice. My very own witness to my life."

Wally kisses you again, another slow, deep, sentimental gesture; everything he feels poured into it, before he settles down on top of you, careful not to crush you, his head above your breasts and his eyes fluttering closed. Relaxed. Sated. Safe.

Wally Clark's love language is physical touch, and, in this second chance at life, he's profoundly grateful to have found someone fluent in it.

🍃___________fin.____________

(Marshmallow Miles)

also on AO3!

if you liked this, you may also enjoy Fifty Seven.

fluff. between 1982 and 1983, Wally meets and falls completely head over heels for a girl who changes everything. his biggest fan, his greatest love. you.

[ravenromanova]

Bunny

pairings: Dom Wanda x Dom Natasha x Innocent reader

Warnings: All porn and very little plot SMUT! DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18+!!! Innocence kink, Mommy kink, Daddy kink, Face sitting, Enchanted strap, vibrator use, pet names (Bunny) Sight bandage. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDERAGE

Summary: Wanda and Natasha have fun teaching their bunny new tricks.

A/n: Hiii!! so this story came from this request and i loved it so much so i amped it up and made it a wandanat fic!!! Enjoy ;)

Kinktober masterlist - Main masterlist - Send me requests!!!

~

The sun has shone through the soft white curtains of the room kissing your cheeks. You grumble when you felt the sun in your eyes and tried to hide. But unfortunately for you no matter what you did it didn’t go away. When you finally gave in the mother natures torture you sat up to see that you were alone. Normally one or both of your girlfriends were with you when you had woke up but they are nowhere to be seen.

Deciding to get to the bottom of their sudden disappearance you grabbed your robe and slippers and walked out of the room. When your slipper covered feet approached the kitchen you finally found them. Both redheads were making breakfast as you walked in with a small pout.

“Hi dekta” Natasha greeted with a smile walking over to give you a sweet kiss and sit you down at the table.

“Hi” You grumbled when you sat down and both her and Wanda titled their heads in confusion.

“What’s wrong bunny?” Wanda’s voice was smooth as she spoke handing you a plate of waffles, fruit, eggs and bacon. Taking the plate you eat for a few minutes before finally speaking.

“Woke up ‘lone” You mumbled shoving waffles in your mouth like you did as a child. Both women walked over and sat on either side of you shaking their heads.

“We were going to make you breakfast in bed bunny but you woke up a little too early, mommy and daddy are sorry bunny” Wanda cooed rubbing your back slowly helping you slip into your submissive headspace. They both knew helping you get into this headspace made it easier to deal with your feelings.

“It’s okay…just missed you” You let it a sigh of contentment feeling Wanda’s hand on your back and Natasha’s on your thigh. The two women had a whole plan for the day but clearly they were going to have to make some adjustments.

See about a week ago you had let it slip that you had wanted them to use you during your sleep. So being the good girlfriends they were that’s what they were going to do today since they both had the day off. But of course their bunny just had to wake up too early. But it was okay since they still had a lot planned for you today.

Natasha had gotten up to finish breakfast for her and Wanda before coming back to sit next to you. And the three of you ate breakfast like you did every morning talking, laughing and of course little make out sessions. It was moments like this that truly made you feel loved by the witch and spy. And truthfully it made them love you even more if that was even possible.

After you three finished breakfast Natasha cleaned up and Wanda helped you get ready for the day. She had laid out a black tank top and dark red leggings accompanied by a black and red lingerie set. You happily got dressed and then sat on the bed for Natasha to braid your hair.

“All done bunny” She said tying off the second french braid before giving you a kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you daddy” You beam giving her a hug and a kiss. You settled yourself on her lap clinging to her like a Koloa.

“You’re so welcome bunny. What do you want to do today?” She asks as Wanda sits next to the two of you rubbing your back.

“Just wanna stay in” You respond getting comfortable on Natasha’s lap adjusting so your legs are parted in her thigh. She takes the hint and her hands make their way to your hips. Wanda is quick to know exactly what you want she gets up and stands behind you. She runs her hands up and down your sides earning a shiver from you.

“I think today should be the day we do all the things we’ve talked about. Do you like that idea bunny?” Wanda asks kissing your neck softly. You nod your head eagerly thinking about all the things you’ve told your girlfriends you’ve wanted to try but never did.

The thing is you weren’t a virgin you’ve had sex with one guy a two girls but they were all vanilla. So after being with Wanda and Natasha for about six months you’ve finally opened you about all the things you wanted to try. At first they were a little taken aback from how dirty their innocent little girl was being. But after the initial shock wore off they were more than happy to help you become more equipped.

Your thoughts were cut off when you felt Wanda lift your shirt over your head and then remove your bra. Natasha continued grinding you down on her thigh eliciting soft whimpers from you.

“Please” You beg not wanting to be teased right now. They both shared a knowing look before Natasha placed you by the pillows and then they both sat in either side of you.

“Okay okay okay bunny we won’t tease but we will have fun” Natasha said with a slight chuckle in her voice grabbing some toys from the bedside table. And to say your eyes widened at the things she pulled out is an understatement. She had pulled out a red strap on, a long red piece of silk and a black vibrator.

Even though you were a little nervous you couldn’t help but smile at the fact that they remembered all your conversations. Your excitement was very evident to the two redheads though they didn’t mind and found it quite adorable. Natasha was the first one to make a move by grabbing the silk and vibrator and settling between your thighs.

“W-What are you going to do with those?” You question watching the woman kiss your soft skin. Her green eyes lock into yours before her hands slide up your thighs ave remove your panties. She moves in a way you can only describe as dominating and loving.

“Well this” She holds the vibrator up turning it on. “Is going to go right here.” Natasha spreads your folds and placed the vibrator right on your clit.

“O-Oh f-fuck!” You scream as the unfamiliar sensation hits your most sensitive area. The spy holds it there letting you squirm before giving Wanda a look and taking it off. Wanda then grabs the red silk then straddles your waist.

“And this” She says in a low voice playing with the silk in her hands. “Is to tie those pretty little hands up” Wanda then uses her magic to tie the your arms to the headboard with the silk. She is quick to then free herself of her clothes with a flick of her wrist staying straddling you.

And as Wanda is tying you up Natasha attaches the strap around her boxer clad waist. You’re not quite sure when the spy ridded herself of so her clothing leaving just her boxers and sports bra but damn she looked good. You stare at the older woman as her hands rub up and down your thighs. She then runs the strap up and down your wet folds collecting your slick on it and you squirm in response. Her and Wanda share another look and she nods giving the younger girl the go ahead.

“Remember how you told mommy you wanted her to sit on your face?” Wanda asked rubbing your cheek and you directed your attention to her with wide eyes. You nod eagerly at her question completely forgetting about the feeling in between your thighs. Your heart and body burning with desire as you watch her hover over your face.

“Be a good girl and make Mommy cum while daddy fucks you okay?” Before you could even respond she was spreading herself and sitting on your face. Your lips instantly circle around her clit and start sucking causing her to buck her hips.

“Fuck you’re so good bunny such a good girl” She praises gripping your hair and riding your face. Natasha takes advantage of the fact that you are distracted and thrusts into you. You try to scream but it’s muffled and reverberates onto Wanda making her grip your hair harder.

As Wanda is riding your face she gets an idea and wiggles her fingers and a flurry of red circle the strap. “Oh fuck” Natasha moans when she feels the warmth of your pussy around the faux cock.

“Fuck Wands did-did enchant it?” She asks a little fuzzy from feeling how tight you are. Wanda nods her head not being able to form words as her grip on your hair becomes tighter.

“I’m gonna cum bunny-FUCK!!!” Wanda screams coming undone all over your face and tongue. You groan happily licking her clean before she removes herself off you and lays next to you.

“P-Please l-let me touch you mommy” You beg but the words come out broken feeling Natasha’s pace get faster. The younger woman uses her magic again but this time she releases you from your restraints. You quickly grab her face and bring her into a bruising kiss moving into her mouth as your second orgasm builds. She reciprocates the kiss and plays with one of your nipples to add extra stimulation.

Natasha grunts as she feels her orgasm build up from feeling your wall clench down in the faux cock. She feels everything, every flex of your muscles, your clenching, and her favorite she feels how tight you are. Her and Wanda have never used the strap on you yet because they didn’t want to hurt you. But seeing how pretty you are when you come undone she regrets not doing this sooner.

“D-Daddy i’m-im gonna cum again ~mnph~ Please can i?” You plead feeling the coil about to snap. The pleasure you feel is so good and it quickly becomes overwhelming but in a good way. With Wanda pinching and tugging on your nipples and Natasha fucking into you it’s an overload of your senses.

“Y-Yea bunny c-cum for me i’m right behind you-Fuck” Natasha mewls her head falling back as she grips you hips to keep from falling over.

It only takes a few more thrusts and tugs off your nipples and you’re screaming as your back arches off the bed. “OH FUCK!” You squirt all over the sheets and strap earning happy moans from both women.

“O-Oh fuck bunny” The older woman keeps fucking you chasing her orgasm. She follows behind you and cums with a guttural moan. Her orgasm hits her harder than normal causing her to pull out and lay breathlessly on the other side of you.

“You did so good” Wanda praises softly littering your face in kisses as Natasha takes off the strap ave throws it on the floor.

“You really did bunny. Mommy and Daddy are so proud of our little girl” Natasha coos rubbing a thumb over your flushed cheeks. You are so overwhelmed by the two mind blowing orgasms and their love but it feels so right.

“Thank you” You whisper shyly trying to hide your face in Wanda’s chest making the two women chuckle.

“Oh no don’t try to hide now bunny. We still have things to do” Natasha husks in your ear kissing beneath it before walking off to the bathroom. You whine as she leaves but quickly realize she’s drawing the three of you a bath. Wanda gives you a quick kiss before picking you up bridal style and walking you two over to the bathroom.

She places you into the warm tub then gets in behind you and Natasha gets in the front. You smile and lean back into Wanda looking at both of your girlfriends in a hazy state relishing in their love.

“After our bath what do you say we watch some of your favorite halloween movies?” The spy asks giving you a kiss on the nose. You smile and not happily giving her kisses all over her face earning a soft giggle from her.

“Hey what about me?” The younger woman asks with a sight pout across her face. You giggle looking over your shoulder ave bringing her in for a sweet kiss earning a low hum of happiness from her.

The three of you finish the bath and then Wanda helps you get dressed in your favorite hoodie of hers and sweatpants from Natasha. And then like always Natasha braid your hair whispering words of love into your ear as she does so. Then she takes you into the living room where Wanda has set up a blanket fort, snacks, drinks and queued up your favorite movies.

The rest of the day you three stayed on the couch watching movies, laughing and having the occasional break to slip in an orgasm or two. It was the best day off either one of the redheads had ever had.

~Bonus scene~ Wanda and Natasha had just came home from a week long mission and they were exhausted to say the least. When they had gotten back to the compound they didn’t even bother debriefing before they left and went right home to you.

What they had expected to come home to was you on the couch watching tv but you weren’t there when they got in. They shared a confused look as they went to go find their bunny. And what they had found when they opened the bedroom for almost made them both faint on the spot.

You were sitting on the bed on your knees with your palms upward in nothing but a thick red lace lingerie set. Around you were some new toys you bought when they were gone it consisted of a whip, handcuffs, nipple clamps and a double ended dildo.

“Welcome home” You said with a devilish smile as the two woman approached you with wide eyes.

That was the night they realized their bunny was definitely not innocent anymore.

~The end~

I do not give permission for my work to be copied or translated on other cites

[300foxholecourtt]

Vampire Jean x human Jeremy where Jean lusts after Jeremy’s blood and Jeremy is perhaps a bit too turned on by Jean feeding on him 🥸

It’s like you knew I’m watching true blood right now damn you’re right tho, Jeremy is such a giver and so desperate to please and be useful. He’d be the first one at a blood bank donating to vamps for ethical blood and he’d also be the type to show up with his STI results and blood test for a “you can feed, too 😊” type hookup at the bars because he is so so so desperate to be used and useful and praised ugh this man

“Is it- supposed to feel like this?” Jeremy gasped, head thrown back. In the past he allowed a quick little nick, a quick lick of someone’s tongue while they were in the middle. It always amped up an orgasm and he loved knowing he was flowing inside their veins.

But this was different. This should have felt more clinical, calmer. Jean was sitting in front of him on a stool, gently cradling his arm as he lapped at the small bite marks on the inside of his wrist. Jeremy’s pants were too tight.

“Like what?” Jean asked in his deep French accent, the fangs making it even hotter than usual. Jeremy whimpered. He threw his free hand over his eyes, because the visual of his blood sliding down the side of Jean’s fang was too much.

“Like sex,” he admitted, cheeks flaming. Jean’s tongue moved over the bites again and Jeremy shifted on the couch. “I mean- I’ve done this before. During. Not- we’re still clothed. And you don’t-“

“Don’t what?” Jean’s undead breath ghosted across his skin.

“Don’t breathe, that was a trick,” Jeremy accused, looking down to see the crinkle at the side of Jean’s soft grey eyes. A ring of red surrounded them, the only hint that he wasn’t just pale and naturally cold. “You don’t like me,” Jeremy sighed.

“Says who?” That sigh, that was an accident. There was no way Jean could fake it so well. “You’re the one hooking up and pretending we don’t smell the different colognes when you come to practice.”

“I-“

“You are allowed,” Jean’s tongue ghosted over his wrist, doing far more work than had to be required, “to have sex with whoever you want.”

“I think of you,” Jeremy blurted out. He didn’t know why he said it. Couldn’t think of a good reason, but Jean was between his legs and holding his wrist and his pants were so fucking tight right now. This was going to live in his memory as the most embarrassing night.

“Is that right?” Jean sounded so innocent. Jeremy didn’t expect the feel of his fangs in his skin. He certainly didn’t expect the way his stomach tightened, orgasm rocketing through him as Jean sucked the blood out his wrist.

[dustedmagazine]

Dust Volume 10, Number 5

Arab Strap

It’s lovely out. The lilacs are in bloom. The weather is warm enough to make a sweater/sweatshirt/coat redundant, and the bugs are swarming happily all over the garden. And yet, here we are, inside, ear buds in place, music on high, because however nice the weather, what if we missed something? What if, you, our readers missed something? Well, fear not, because we’re back with another set of short, impassioned reviews. Scottish lifers obsessed with their phones, South African jazzmen nearly forgotten, mumbling rappers, untethered improvisers—it’s all here for you. What, you were going out? Too nice to stay inside? Well, okay, it’ll be here when you get back.

Contributors include Ian Mathers, Justin Cober-Lake, Ray Garraty, Bill Meyer, Bryon Hayes, Jonathan Shaw, Andrew Forell, Christian Carey, Alex Johnson and Jennifer Kelly.

Arab Strap — I'm totally fine with it 👍 don't give a fuck anymore 👍 (Rock Action)

Even more surprising than this Scottish duo’s perversely triumphant return a few years ago is that in 2024 Aidan Moffat is writing more about the internet than about cheating and booze. (He’s still writing about those things too though, don’t worry.) Less shocking is that his laceratingly keen eye is no less effective when turned on his own relationship with his phone, or the way women are treated by the “fathers, husbands, sons and brothers” around them as soon as the deniability of a screen is in place, or the psychology of someone who turns to QAnon. And not just technology; with songs addressing those who’ve never recovered from the early-pandemic hit to their ability to go outside and those capitalism leaves to die in solitude, this might be the least relationship-y Arab Strap LP to date. Malcolm Middleton roughs up their sound again to match the bruised, heartfelt brutality of Moffat’s subject matter and the result is one of the most simultaneously empathetic and unsettling records from a band who’ve never been short on either quality.

Ian Mathers

Bad Nerves — Still Nervous (Suburban)

For their second album Still Nervous, punk rockers Bad Nerves take their ready-made formula and just amp everything up. Everything's loud and fast; the band clearly descends from the Ramones, but they've gone more manic. They secretly mix in flourishes of power pop. Underneath all the ruckus, they have a knack for catchy melodies, guitar solos and even vocal harmonies. Then Bad Nerves rough up the pop elements to make sure their disaffection comes through with enough spite to keep everything properly punk. The record does little to vary mood or tempo, but it doesn't need to. The band does one thing, but they excel at it. The Strokes comparisons the band's received mostly work, but the lo-fi production keeps everything sounding as if it's in an actual garage. “Plastic Rebel” offers a youthful rampage, bubble gummy enough to touch on Cheap Trick, but continually plowing forward. The Essex quintet closes the album with “The Kids Will Never Have Their Say,” an evergreen sentiment for the young and irritable. The point doesn't break new ground, but it's beside the point. Bad Nerves tap into something long running and rush the tradition on with plenty of verve and a hint of bile.

Justin Cober-Lake

Conway the Machine — Slant Face Killah (Drumwork \ EMPIRE)

If it wasn’t for Conway’s name on the copy to the album you��d think this was a long solo producer tapes with 40 guests on it, each mumbling about something nobody’s interested in except for the mumbler himself. It is not an exaggeration: it really lasts more than an hour, has close to 20 guests (depends on how you count) and even though Slant Face Killah is produced by a dozen of people the beats all sound the same. If it already sounds awful even for the diehard Conway fans, grip for the worst part of it. It ain’t even worth the trouble to skip all the tiring guest verses for the Conway verses because they are not good anyway. A total failure.

Ray Garraty

Alex Cunningham — Rivaled (Storm Cellar)

Remember October 2020? The time of still-subdued traffic, no shows and a looming election? Rivaled is an artifact of that moment. Nowadays, Alex Cunningham is an intensely active improviser, based in St. Louis but active all around the middle of the USA. Back then he was stuck at home and moved to make some noise. “Faith” and “Void” offer two paths to obliteration. The former is pretty plugged in, with electronic effects and appropriated radio noise turning Cunningham’s violin into a full-on electrical storm. The latter is unreliant upon electricity, but maybe even more dogged and savage. Originally released as an edition of 20 cassette, Rivaled is now a CD with a bonus remix that mashes both tracks together, both vertically and temporally, like a piggybacked highlights reel. Of noise relaxes you, you’ll want this close at hand when the next election rolls around.

Bill Meyer

Dun-Dun Band — Pita Parka Pt. 1: Xam Egdub (Ansible Editions)

Dun-Dun Band is an all-star cast of characters comprising some of Toronto’s most creative musicians and led by musical polymath Craig Dunsmuir. Dunsmuir is a shape shifter, trading guises and styles for decades: a guitar loop conjuror known as Guitarkestra, a purveyor of mutant disco vibes alongside Sandro Perri in Glissandro 70, a welder of minimalism, dub, and avant-garde weirdness as Kanada 70. His Dun-Dun Band collects members of Eucalyptus and Badge Époque Ensemble along with stalwarts Colin Fisher, Karen Ng, Josh Cole and Ted Crosby. Pita Parka is the group’s debut on vinyl and features three extended cosmic jazz jams that fuse multi-horn interplay to African-inspired polyrhythm. The music slyly winks at 1970s fusion but is more akin to that of modern ensembles such as Natural Information Society. The extended nature of the pieces allows the reedists to stretch their lungs and roam around, and for the rest of the ensemble to engage in creative interplay. Pita Parka is a stellar offering from some of Toronto’s finest players and one of the city’s most inquisitive and inventive minds.

Bryon Hayes

Roby Glod / Christian Ramond / Klaus Kugel—No ToXic (Nemu)

The three participants in this session are all veterans of middle European jazz that’s free in spirit, if not always in form. Bassist Christian Ramond and Klaus Kugel are from Germany, and soprano/alto saxophonist Roby Glod is from Luxembourg; their collective cv includes work with Kenny Wheeler, Ken Vandermark and Michael Formanek. Online evidence suggests that they’ve played together as a trio since 2015, which explains their easy rapport and nuanced interaction, but this is their first CD. Freedom for these folks means having the latitude to linger over a tune or to settle into nuanced timbral exchanges, but if you carded them, they’d all have jazz driver’s licenses. This music swings, often at speed, which is a very important aspect of their shared aesthetic; the excitement often comes from hearing Glod invent intricate, evolving lines that are lifted off by fast walking bass lines and kept in the air with light but insistent cymbal play. While the album is named No ToXic, the sheer pleasure of hearing these guys lock in could truthfully be labeled counter-toxic.

Bill Meyer

Göden — Veil of the Fallen (Svart)

Longtime listeners of death doom will recognize the name Stephen Flam, guitarist and co-founder of storied band Winter whose Into Darkness (1990) concretized the subgenre in the US; the record was great, and still is. For his recent work with Göden, Flam has dubbed himself “Spacewinds,” and his bandmates follow suit, with stage names that are equal parts risible and ridiculously gravid: vocalist Vas Kallas performs as “Nyxta (Goddess of Night)” (those parens seem to be her idea…) and keyboardist Tony Pinnisi appears as “The Prophet of Göden.” Okay. This reviewer’s inexhaustible appetite for Winter’s slim output disposes him to think kindly of Flam, and there’s nothing especially terrible about Veil of the Fallen — but that’s only because there’s nothing all that special about the record. The sound of the title track is appealingly austere, and the NyQuil-chugging riffs of “Death Magus” are sort of fun. But any listeners hoping for flashes of the inimitable, awesome awfulness of Winter would be well advised to recall the meaning of inimitable. Not even Flam, it seems, can provide a convincing replica of those energies and textures.

Jonathan Shaw

Mick Harvey — Five Ways to Say Goodbye (Mute)

Former Birthday Party and Bad Seeds member Mick Harvey looks back at his life on his autumnal new album “Five Ways to Say Goodbye.” Although he contributes only four original songs, his skill as an arranger and interpreter reaches its zenith. Harvey imbues his own and others’ songs with intense emotion that never tips into melodrama or histrionics. Augmenting his acoustic guitar with evocative string arrangements which provide counterpoint and color to his lyrics “When We Were Young and Beautiful” may be the finest song he has written; poetic in structure, elegiac in feeling, Harvey faces his past with dispassionate empathy for lost friends and acceptance of where he is now. His version of David McComb’s “Setting You Free” locates a Faustian menace in the song, using the strings to carry the dynamic thrust and emphasize the turbulent ambivalence of the original. “Like A Hurricane” becomes an intimate, piano ballad. By changing the tense from present to past and stripping the song of its rock roots, Harvey creates an emotional impact missing from Neil Young’s original. On “Demolition” Harvey replaces Ed Kuepper’s funereal drums with an off-kilter drum machine that clatters like an old projector to evokes the disconnections inherent in the lyrics. Harvey’s treatment of songs from The Saints, Lee Hazelwood, Lo Carmen and Marlene Dietrich are beautifully rendered. A wonderful summation of Harvey’s often underrated talent and an album that deserves a wider audience.

Andrew Forell

I Like To Sleep — Bedmonster’s Groove (All Good Clean Records)

This combo from Trondheim, Norway started out bridging the sound worlds of Gary Burton and Sleep. That’s a canny move if you’re looking for relatively untrodden ground, and as it turns out, a successful one. On Bedmonster’s Groove, which is album number four, the trio has dialed back the heaviness; you won’t hear a power chord until the beginning of side two. Instead, they have taken a turn towards experimentation. The microscopic applications of filters and effects give confer a variable glitter to Amund Storløkken Åse’s vibraphone, squeezable padding to Nicolas Leirtrø’s six-string bass, and some texturable variety to Øyvind Leite’s drums, which are all shown to good effect by some lean grooves and uncluttered melodies. Åse has also added some instrumentation; synths flicker and swirl in the empty spaces, and a mellotron heads a deliberate charge towards prog territory.

Bill Meyer

Kriegshög—Love & Revenge (La Vida Es un Mus)

Throughout the long existence of Kriegshög, it’s been customary to identify the band as a d-beat act. Love & Revenge is Kriegshög’s first release since 2019 and only its second LP in their (at least) 16 years of playing in and around Tokyo. Prolific, they ain’t, but the music is always worth waiting for. On this new record, the band rolls back the pace a bit and amps up the crusty, metal textures. Less squall and rampant chaos, more muscle and riffs that roll up in well-worn biker leathers — but all those qualifiers are relative. There’s still a raw edge to the production (if that’s the term we want…); the bass is laced with so much fat crackle that you’ll want to fry it and eat it. Sort of fun that one of the most volatile tunes on Love & Revenge is titled “Serenity.” Make of that what you will, but don’t spend too much time thinking about it. You’ll miss the next couple songs.

Jonathan Shaw

Niels Lyhne Løkkegaard and Quatuor Bozzini — Colliding Bubbles: Surface Tension and Release (Important)

Niels Lyhne Løkkegaard is a composer based in Copenhagen. On his latest EP he joins forces with the premiere Canadian string quartet for new music, Quatuor Bozzini, to create a piece that deals with the perception of bubbles replicating the human experience. In addition to the harmonics played by the strings, the players are required to play harmonicas at the same time. At first blush, this might sound like a gimmick, but the conception of the piece as instability and friction emerging from continuous sound, like bubbles colliding in space and, concurrently, the often tense unpredictability of the human experience, makes these choices instead seem organic and well-considered. As the piece unfolds, the register of the pitch material makes a slow decline from the stratosphere to the ground floor with a simultaneous long decrescendo. The quartet are masterful musicians, unfazed by the challenge of playing long bowings and long-breathed harmonica chords simultaneously. The resulting sound world is shimmering, liquescent, and, surprising in its occasional metaphoric bubbles popping.

Christian Carey

The Ophelias — Ribbon EP (self-released)

Ribbon is stormy, scathing and often quite beautiful. “Soft and Tame,” the EP’s emotional center, is all three. It begins wistfully: easy acoustic guitar strums and Andrea Gutmann Fuentes’ layered violin, nostalgic and close to sweet. Vocalist Spencer Peppet also starts slow, talking us through the aimless sensory motions of missing someone – “the sun on my cheek/as I walk around/I pick up a pear/I put it down/the radio plays a song we loved.” It doesn’t take long, however, for the skies to darken and the scene to become bleaker. By the line “the hollow sound/my jugular makes as it rolls around,” Mic Adams’s foreboding drums and a percussive creep of electric guitar have stalked in. And by the time Peppet has shown us “an overturned bus on the highway,” heard a“tornado warning” and told her subject to “stay the fuck away” for the second time, the band has built to a blown-out, climactic frenzy, the violin finding operatic heights over mammoth cymbal crashes.

In her review of The Ophelias’ last album, Crocus, Jennifer Kelly described Peppet as sounding “like she’s tilting her chin up and squaring her shoulders.” Likewise on Ribbon, where the band seems resigned to but also quite prepared for a fight. If “Soft and Tame” is aimed to knock “love in southern Ohio” down for good, then “Rind,” the final song, may tell us why they’re in the ring at all. At a brief break in the dynamic, flowering arrangement — it could be a particularly bucolic Magnetic Fields instrumental, especially in Gutmann Fuentes’ spry riffs — Peppet bursts out, “There you go!/On tour with my hometown friends/fucking score/they must have all forgotten!/Look back at what I tolerated.” There’s more to the story, but Peppet pulls back from the fray, settling things ominously: “to name it/makes your life/a little complicated.” Whatever “it” is, The Ophelias seem to have landed their punch. I don’t think I’ve heard more cutting, triumphant “Oohs” than those that end the song and Ribbon’s multifaceted fury with it.

Alex Johnson

Paperniks — Oxygen Tank Flipper 7-inch (Market Square)

Jason Henn is a master of catchy psychedelic punk. Honey Radar, his highest profile outfit, has unfurled a constant stream of hook-laden gems for well over a decade. Paperniks is his newest guise, a solo home recording project that amplifies the Guided by Voices meets Syd Barrett vibe of Honey Radar and doses it with nuggets of guitar noise. This tiny slab of wax is the sophomore Paperniks outing, following a single-sided lathe cut that strayed toward the clamorous edge of the octopus’s garden. On display are a pair of tunes that bear a striking resemblance to Honey Radar. “Oxygen Tank Flipper” is a groovy dose of psych replete with a catchy riff and a roller coaster bassline. Handclaps up the catchiness factor, as does Henn’s honey sweet sigh. “Essex Poem Dial” is a punky, garage-inspired tune. Henn’s reverb-soaked vocal hides inside the propulsive guitar chime. A noise interlude leads to a mellow vignette that slowly fades away. Paperniks showcases Henn’s boisterous side, and the music is certainly engaging, so hopefully there are more songs on the way soon.

Bryon Hayes

Ribbon Stage — Hit with the Most (Perennial/K)

Ribbon Stages hits the giddy sweet spot between punk and pop, their raucous guitar-drums-bass racket pounding on sweet, wistful little songs. The mixture varies with some cuts veering into the snaggle-toothed dream pop of, say, the Jeanines, while others rage harder and more dissonantly. “Stone Heart Blue,” the single, pulls the drums way up in the mix and lets distorted guitars and murmured vocals do battle attention behind them. The result is an uncanny balance of urgency, angst and solace, which is exactly what you want from pop-leaning punk. “Hearst” pushes slashing tangling guitar racket up to the foreground, letting a billowing squall spill over crisp drums and shout-sung vocals, while “Sulfate” lets a sighing romantic croon loose over boiling lavas of rock mayhem. Nice.

Jennifer Kelly

Rio Da Yung OG — Rio Circa 2020 (Boyz Ent)

This is exactly what the title says: a compilation of Rio songs stashed on the label’s HDD, no more, no less. No filler but no hits either. The tape has a “Circa 2020” feel to it, reminding us of when Rio did what he wanted with no shades of doom hanging over the songs. It’s unlike the music he wrote after the trial when he knew he had to do some time. There’s a little bit of everything in here: three songs with RMC Mike, two tracks featuring Louie Ray, a song on a Sav beat, a song on an Enrgy beat and a song on a Primo beat. Yet it’s hardly enough to last us until Rio is free.

Ray Garraty

Spirits Rejoice—S-T (Fredriksberg)

Spirits Rejoice! by Spirits Rejoice

A remastered reissue of a 1978 recording, Spirits Rejoice captures boundary-crossing South African jazz scene, which touches on fusion, rock, funk, soul, disco Latin and African sounds. The ensemble includes some of that time and place’s pre-eminent jazz musicians, Sipho Gumede of the fluid, loping bass lines, breezy, insouciant reeds-man Robbie Jansen, South African pioneering percussionist Gilbert Matthews, keyboardist Mervyn Africa and a very young Paul Peterson on electric guitar. The music is ebullient and clearly tilted towards pop accessibility, and the gleaming sheen of 1970s often dilutes its heat and fury. This is especially true on “Happy and in Love” which could double as a lost Earth Wind and Fire cut. Elsewhere, though, as in “Woza Uzo Kudanisa Nathi,” fervid polyrhythms, tight squalls of sax and an exhilarating call and response light up the groove, fusing African chants with a swaggering samba rhythm. And “Papa’s Funk,” is just what it sounds like—a slithery, stuttery, visceral bass-led swagger that bubbles and smolders and twitches in a universal funk.

Jennifer Kelly

Various Artists — GmBH: An Anthology of Music for Fashion Shows 2016 – 2023, Volume 1 (Studio LABOUR)

GmbH: An Anthology of Music for Fashion Shows 2016-2023 Vol. 1 by Various Artists

LABOUR is a multimedia project of Iranian musician Farahnaz Hatam and American percussionist/composer Colin Hacklander. Based in Berlin, the duo has collaborated widely and eclectically to produce soundtracks for sustainable, underground fashion house GmBH. This compilation collates 12 examples and showcases a variety of work from an international roster of artists including Iraqi-British oud player Khyam Allami, Turkish born DJ Nene H, Kuwaiti musician Fatimi Al Qadiri, American performance artist MJ Harper and Indonesian noise duo Gabber Modus Operandi. The thread that runs through all this is cross pollinations between genre, geography, and chronology. Allami’s oud plays against LABOUR’s electronic washes and synthetic percussion with each element emphasizing and interrogating differences in modality and structure. On “White Noise” LABOUR contrast a 16th century harpsichord piece with static and effects dissolving into a robotic club beat which ends up evoking a cyborg Hooked on Classics. Their collaboration with Harper on the spoken word “ablution” is a reflection on love, religion, and abnegation with elements of gospel, eastern and creeping doom ambience. The Anthology has much of interest but is essential for Belgian composer Billy Bultheel’s “YLEM” featuring German countertenor Steve Katona who soars incandescent from a backdrop of industrial grind. The contrast between earthly weight of the music and radiant purity of the voice is breathtaking.

Andrew Forell

Vertonen — taif’ shel (Oxidation)

taif' shel by Vertonen

Give the Oxidation label credit for radical truthfulness. One of the bummers of our time is the frequency with which folks on BandCamp and elsewhere will call a short-run, blue or green-faced disc a CD when they are selling you a CD-R. Oxidation, on the other hand, is named after the process that will eventually render its products unplayable. On to the sounds. Vertonen is Blake Edwards, who has been working around the edges of sound for over 30 years. On taif’ shel, he displays absolute mastery over the combination of collected, electronically generated and carefully edited sounds. His skill rests on three qualities; knowing where to place sounds, knowing how long to let them carry on and having some pretty good ideas about which ones to use in the first place. He can make a drone of infinite (but never unnecessary) complexity, or punctuate flipping film-ends with a precisely situated, never repeated sequence of chops and splices, to name just two examples found on this impermanent but thoroughly rewarding disc.

Bill Meyer

Villagers — That Golden Time (Domino)

That Golden Time is Villagers’ sixth album. The Conor O’Brien led project presents its most eclectic outing to date. A number of the songs are afforded pop treatment, consisting of memorable tunes and gentle, polished arrangements. The double-tracked vocals on “First Responder” is a case in point, about a relationship fragmenting while the singing coalesces, an interesting tension. “No Drama,” initially pared down to piano and O’Brien’s laconic vocals, eventually adds a coterie of Irish traditional instruments. “Keepsake” veers closer to mid-tempo electronica, with overlaid synth repetitions and treated vocals. The title track employs sustained violin lines, played by Peter Broderick, and an intricate form with supple harmonic shifts. “Brother Hen,” on the other hand, recalls the folk influences present from Villagers’ beginning. The diversity is diverting, even though That Golden Time feels like a collection of singles instead of an album statement.

Christian Carey

[cristalbeesnow]

in view of a possible renewal (? perhaps) of shadow and bones and having now passed months I have some considerations to make. so in the meantime I liked season 2, in some things more than 1, in others much less. the first is more compact, the second necessarily more dispersive and at times almost too mature compared to the first (the whole story of kaz) instead in others less (the whole story of alina.) . which confuses the viewer as if they were two different stories and not parts of the same show. I remain of my opinion that it would have been better to divide everything into 3 seasons and not into two. I really liked the whole story of matthias, which I imagined much less present in the show. I liked the dynamics between the crows and also nina's fake betrayal (I fell for it and how much I hated it!) I really liked the first part of kaz's story but I wonder how they will fix his line storm having already put his showdown with pekka (will he have another one? dunno!) and the fact that he is already the king of the barrel as well as the fact that they have already used the fake plague trick which confuses me a lot about what they have in store for him... and also for inej to be honest. i loved nikolai as much as i hated that inej already left kaz. for my part I hope the story of a threesome with tolya is not true because I don't see them and it would ruin her story with kaz. at least for me. it's just a small personal opinion. i wish i had more flashbacks to kaz growing up (although i was happy with the little they showed us. i love actors who play kaz and jordie and i want a movie about them even if i never get one. ugh!) i wanted a real flashback on jesper but i still appreciated his hallucination even if i wished they wouldn't accelerate already his coming to terms with his being grisha. i love her romance with wylan but i wish they would look into his gambling problem more, just a hint. I'm happy out of personal sensitivity that they didn't put jordie's terrible scene even if it partially diminishes kaz's trauma (but I don't think they could shoot it for censorship. it's a very strong and macabre scene but I thought there was... ). i liked the firebird storyline as much as i found disappointing the way the second amp was rendered and aleksander's storyline( i wanted him on ravka's throne at least for a while, i didn't like his illness nor how they made the nichevoya. no. they are not at all like i imagined ) i am slightly disappointed that they removed the apparat subplot and i am not sure i liked shu han one hundred percent. i did not like the final battle, too much rushed. i loved the story of genya and david! instead i wanted more parts of alina with aleksander. alina's ending, although not that of the book, intrigues me a lot. i want to see what happens! however I found the first half more beautiful than the second even if I don't know why. all in all, however, I can say I'm happy... I hope that, if they go on, they'll deepen and maybe fix what they haven't said here, or have anticipated or done less well... we'll see.. anyway the actors are all very good!

[ifbfreshcatch]

Garlic Butter Prawns Recipe

Garlic Butter Prawns is possibly the easiest recipe I have, but also one of my family's favourite rich and flavourful prawns with garlic butter sauce, which is one of those go-to meals for any occasion. If you are in the mood to have a quick weeknight dinner or want something to dress up for entertaining, this should do the trick.

Why You’ll Love This Recipe

Quick & Easy – Ready in under 20 minutes.

Minimal Ingredients – Uses pantry staples like garlic, butter, and lemon.

Versatile – Pairs well with rice, pasta, or even crusty bread.

Rich & Flavorful – The combination of garlic and butter creates an irresistible taste.

Ingredients

To make this delicious dish, you’ll need:

Main Ingredients:

500g large prawns, cleaned and deveined

4 tbsp unsalted butter

5 cloves garlic, minced

1 tbsp olive oil

1 tsp red chili flakes (optional, for spice)

1 tbsp lemon juice

2 tbsp fresh parsley, chopped

Salt and pepper to taste

Optional Additions:

½ tsp smoked paprika (for a hint of smokiness)

2 tbsp white wine (for extra depth of flavor)

1 tsp honey (for a slightly sweet contrast)

Step-by-Step Instructions

Prepare the prawns First, wash and de-vein your large shrimp If you are using the frozen prawns, defrost them in cold water for about 15 minutes and then use a paper towel to pat them dry. You need to de-moisturize the prawns so they sear properly instead of steaming from their own moisture.

Step 2: Sauté Garlic You will need to use a large pan or skillet and heat some oil with the lowest heat you can then add this to the mixture. Garlic- Add to some heated oil in the pan and sauté for 30 seconds or so or until fragrant. Garlic can get bitter so be really careful not to burn it.

Step 3 – Cook Prawns Place prawns on the pan in a single layer. They should be cooked for 2-3 minutes on each side until they turn pink and slightly tented. As with all prawns you do not want too cook them for too long as they will dry out and turn rubbery.

Step 4: Melt Butter and Season Reduce the heat and melt the remaining 4 tablespoons of butter while also coating it completely all over the prawns. Salt, pepper and red chili flakes (if using ) Sprinkle everything together and stir very well until the prawns are nicely coated.

Step 5: Finish with Lemon & Parsley Use the juice of 1 tablespoon fresh lemon to add color, tang and brightness to the prawns. Sprinkle freshly chopped parsley to garnish both visually and for freshness. If your wine is white, add this now and stir for 1 minute to amp up the sauce.

Step 6 : Serve & Enjoy Take off the heat of prawns just simmer and serve them. They pair beautifully with:

Garlicky Butter Sauce on Steamed Rice — This is perhaps my favourite concoction. Pasta: Add cooked spaghetti to your prawns for a quick gourmet pasta meal. Warm Baguette-crusty Bread – Absorb that creamy sauce Garlic Butter Prawns to Die For

Use Fresh or Manage Prawns– The best taste you can get is bright maintained from days ago fresh prawns. Fresh – Use this particular premium quality large prawns if freezing did not appeal. Do not Over Cook your Prawns – They are quick cook so be vigilant. As soon as they’re pink and they have the opaque, drop them. Give season with salt to taste — If you like a little kick in spicy, then add some chili flakes or just a little cayenne pepper. Double the Butter-Garlic-Lemon — If you like your dish saucier, just up the quantities of butter, garlic and lemon to taste making more delicious liquid to dip. Real Ingredients – Fresh garlic, lemon juice and parsley bring an entirely other level of flavor to the veggies over their processed version.

Garlic Butter Prawns Variations Creamy Garlic Butter Prawns: thick the sauce with ¼ cup of heavy cream Garlic Butter Prawns – For the spice card, toss in more red chili flakes, sriracha or freshly chopped chilies for chili heads. Garlic Butter Prawns with Vegetables: Add bell peppers, Zucchini or Spinach for some nutrition and vibrant colour! Garlic Butter Prawns: Asian style – 1 tbsp soy sauce and spoonful of sesame oil for more depth of flavours. Storage & reheating directions (chili) Refrigerator: Store leftovers in airtight containers for up to 2 days Freezer– Though prawns are at their best fresh, frozen cooked prawns can easily be stored for 1 month. Freeze thaw slightly before reheating. Reheating Hacks: Stovetop: Warm the pan over very low heat for a moist sizzling with just a touch of butter. Microwave – Steat within short bursts (15-20 seconds) Oven: Wrap it in tin foil and bake at 150°C (300°F) for about 10 minutes COMBO-2 PAIRING Garlic Butter Prawns go well with the following sides and drink recipes:

Side Dishes: Garlic Bread- Essential to get the buttery richness out of your sauce. Mashed Potatoes — Make a warming and comforting side that helps to focus flavour. Grilled Vegetables — A new vegetable addition with a touch of colour.

Drinks: Sauvignon Blanc or Chardonnay (to cut through the rich butteryness) — A refreshing (bleached in sauv) white wine like Citrus Lemonade – Kick the Garlic & Butter with this fresh acidity Ice Cold Beer – Perfect pairing for your sea-food, a light lager or pilsner. Final Thoughts Garlic Butter Prawns is a super-easy elegant meal that anyone can make. You can make it so decadent with such simple ingredients, it will make any seafood lover swoon. If you use it as a side or the main course, this recipe has got you covered.

Use this recipe with large prawns from IFBFreshCatch for maximum flavor and texture! Enjoy Your meal 🍤✨

[pickleballjewelryfromdaytonight]

How to Transition Your Pickleball Jewelry from Day to Night

Pickleball jewelry isn't just for the courts—it's a versatile accessory that can shine in the boardroom or sparkle at the dinner party. Transitioning your pickleball-inspired pieces from a daytime charm to evening elegance is simpler than you might think. Here's your ultimate guide to taking your pickleball jewelry game to the next level, ensuring you look fabulous 24/7.

Understanding Your Jewelry Basics

Before diving into the specifics, let's break down some basic jewelry terms:

Statement Piece: This is a key item meant to be eye-catching and bold. It's the centerpiece of your jewelry ensemble.

Layering: Wearing multiple pieces of jewelry at once, which can add depth and intrigue to any look.

Versatility: The ability to adapt or be adapted to many different functions or activities—your pickleball jewelry should do just this!

Daytime Dazzle: Keeping it Professional and Playful

Subtle Yet Sophisticated

Start your day with something understated yet unique. A delicate pickleball necklace or a simple charm bracelet can signify your love for the game without overpowering your professional attire. Think of these pieces as the quiet heroes of your jewelry box, ready to add just a hint of personality to your workday wardrobe.

Functional Meets Fashionable

Consider functionality with a stylish twist. Earrings that mimic the design of a pickleball cufflinks shaped like tiny paddles can serve as conversation starters while still fitting into a more formal setting.

Nighttime Glamour: Elevate and Impress

The Power of Transformation

As the sun sets, it's time to amp up the drama. Transform your look with bolder pieces. Swap out your daytime necklace for a dazzling pickleball-themed statement necklace or layer several bracelets for a more dramatic effect.

Mix and Match

Don't be afraid to mix metals or incorporate colored gemstones that reflect the nighttime vibe—deep blues, purples, and metallics can transition your look to evening effortlessly. This is your chance to be daring!

Practical Tips for Seamless Transition

Keep It in Your Bag

A pro tip for those always on the go: keep a small jewelry bag in your daytime purse with one or two statement pieces that can easily take your outfit from day to night. It’s like a little magic trick you can pull out at a moment’s notice!

Consider the Occasion

Always consider where the night may take you. If it’s a casual dinner, maybe a silver pickleball-themed anklet will do. Heading to a gala? That calls for those sparkling, paddle-inspired earrings.

Layer for Impact

Remember, layering isn’t just for clothes. Piling on necklaces of varying lengths or combining several rings can give you a bohemian yet chic look that's perfect for an evening out.

Conclusion: Jewelry as Your Day-to-Night Companion

Transitioning your pickleball jewelry from day to night doesn’t require a magic wand—just a bit of creativity and planning. By choosing versatile pieces that you can dress up or down, you're ready for anything, whether it's a last-minute client meeting or an impromptu dinner date. So go ahead, let your jewelry take you from a day at the office to a night on the town, all while keeping your love for pickleball proudly on display!

[candycottonchu]

hell yes.

(I don’t even have it, but saving for later!)

Idk I’d this has been shared but saw this on twitter and thought I’d share! 

[wornoutmouse]

May I request Ogun with a Black shy female reader doing a training session that leads to a little bit more 🙈

Anon please

You’re a second-generation pyrokinetic (Like Joker and Maki). Idk why but I made up in my head that you have flint-bottomed tap-dancing shoes that briefly light when you scrape your feet against the floor…..so that’s where you get your fire from 🤣🤣🤣

This one is a bit longer than normal cause i gotta build the tension

I am terrible at action scenes bruh

Chug- lift heels, slide forward, and then drop the heels at the end of the slide forwards

“Hey, Y/n!” You look up from the bland mashed potatoes and corn Company 5 had prepared. It was a hot Sunday morning and your partner in crime was as excited as ever. He stood a few feet away at the back entrance in the cafeteria. Cocking a thumb behind him, he dawns a toothy grin. “Want to play a quick game?” The game Ogun hinted at was one you were quite familiar with and one you should have known he would ask you to participate in today. “Fine, but don’t cry when I win.” You scoop another spoonful of corn before tossing your tray away for recycling. You’d need all your strength cause Ogun never lost without asking for back-to-back redos.

.You didn’t quite understand the need to be sweaty all the time, but always gave in to his whims

Ogun preferred to train in the field where the sun shined the most throughout the day at the far left of the Company. Often as you went on throughout your day-to-day training, you’d spot Ogun doing laps and practicing his attacks throughout the day.

“I’m feeling fired up today Y/n, you might want to be worried.” You close your eyes as you stretched an arm over your chest. You had yet to lose but you knew Ogun only saw that as a personal goal to get past. “Let’s get this over with, I’m tired.” The smell of smoke enters your nostrils giving you enough time to dodge Oguns boosted attack. “I told you about letting yourself known Mr. Montgomery.” You open your eyes, Oguns skin was lit ablaze with his pyrokinetic abilities.

From afar you’ve always admired the swirls that decorated his skin whenever you got amped up, and this time was no different. “I see you’re already using “Flaming Ink” what, you already scared?” Ogun widened his stance, glowing white eyes watching you shift your feet. “I’ve been working on a new move that I want to show you so why don’t you try your little fire trick.”

Curious, you scuff your shoe on the floor and draw your fire...only the fire doesn’t come. You do it again and the light goes out just as quick as it came. “What did you do?” You narrowed your eyes at Ogun. “Oh nothing, I’m just faster than you now.” You take a few steps back, “Oh that’s how you want to play it? Okay!” You take off running at the very edge of the field and Ogun is fast behind you. Internally you admit that he had gotten much faster, but a simple fact as that wasn’t going to make you lose.

Doing your best to maintain speed, you chug and draw the flames close to your chest out of Montgomery’s line of sight. It was small, mostly snuffed by the kick of your legs as you ran but it was big enough to get the job done. Similar to Ogun in his natural state, you too could throw projectiles just not as damage-inducing.

Turning around as you run, your eyes widen when Ogun appears just inches in front of you, “Surprise!” Your flame is snuffed and you tumble bringing Montgomery down with you. You prepare to feel your body be crushed by his muscled one but at the last minute your shoulders are grabbed and you flip again. The change in elevation causes you to lose a bit of focus, but you can still clearly feel Ogun cushion your fall.

“Oh wow, this looks like something out of an anime.” Ogun laughs when he finds himself lying flat on his back, you positioned comfortably on top of him. The position was completely ridiculous with your thighs straddling his stomach but you were thankful that you wouldn’t be in any sort of pain later.

“Looks like I’ll need to train harder huh?” You playfully punch Ogun’s shoulder. Even though the whole ordeal only lasted 6 minutes, you could feel your back drenched with sweat. While you couldn’t wait to get in the shower, Ogun seemed content with being in a salty state. “You’re dripping all over me you know?” Your head immediately snapped down to look at Ogun with wide eyes, “Excuse me?”

Ogun had a neutral look on his face not hinting at any humor behind his words. “You’re sweating really bad. Did little ole me get you all worked up?” He had to be teasing you at this point, but you couldn’t find a single crack in his facade. “Yeah well, maybe if you didn’t choose this big ass field with no trees I wouldn’t be 2 seconds from passing out.” You stand up, a bit wobbly, and help him up. “I’m going to go shower, you can stay out here if you want to.”

Ogun happily joins you on the way to the showers. You could hear his excitement from finally beating you. “Don’t get cocky, it was a one-time occurrence Ogun.” An arm is slung over your shoulder. In a smug tone, Ogun mocks you, “Don’t be mad cause you lost. You’ve had enough time to be cocky on your own terms.” You gasp mockingly before turning your head to spit back a remark but lose your breath from how close his face is to yours. At such close proximity, you become aware of small details. How his skin shinned in the sunlight, how Oguns eyes contained such a very specific hue of orange that they mimicked the fire of Sol almost precisely. You even wouldn’t be surprised if they would burn to the touch.

“What’s the matter, got nothing to say?” Out of instinct, you shove his head away with so much force he goes flying before landing on his ass. Before any questions are asked you deflect, “Gross I got your B.O all on my shoulders.” From behind Ogun scoffs, “How dare you, any other fine lady would be blessed to be near my manly musk.” Stifling a laugh you utter one final tease before slipping into the girl’s shower, “Yeah, manly must.”

It was endless labor as your captain followed you around, blowing that damn whistle. Given laundry duty, you had to take multiple shifts back and forth throughout each level of the building to collect everyone’s clothing. When you came across Ogun’s level your job was hindered as you were forced to wait as he sifts through his piles of dirty laundry, “Trush me Y/n, there’s a shirt that I accidentally put in here but it’s actually clean.” “Ogun if it’s in the dirty clothes then it’s dirty.” You try to haul his stuff out but he stops you. “I swear if you don’t move I’ll burn your stuff.”

Ogun chuckles, “You burn my clothes and it’ll catch your clothing as well.” Ogun reaches inside the pile you held pulling out a blank white T-shirt that looked annoyingly similar to the 12 other T-shirts you had watched him toss to the side. “Unless of course, you’re trying to go streaking which by all means I encourage you to.” You ignore his joke and pretend it doesn’t strike a certain feeling in your gut.

For your next task, you had to prepare different levels of activities for a group of 5th graders coming to the company the next day. Of course, Ogun would be assigned to the same task as well so while you worked diligently to bring equipment from the storage room, Ogun spent his time using each of the items incorrectly. “Please stop bouncing the footballs with the tennis racket before you get hurt.” Ogun ignored you as he dribbled with the racket. “Don’t be mad cause you’re not as creative as me.”

Well, as you predicted Ogun ends up getting punted in the face when he tries to toss the football in the hoop. Even though the sound it made on impact was loud and hollow, Ogun barely flinches when it ricochets. “Wow you seem pretty experienced with getting hit in the face with balls, you barely moved.” Ogun glared as he watched you pick up the football. Absentmindedly you spin the football as you speak, “You know if I didn’t know any bet-” Your speech is gargled when your mouth becomes stuffed.

While you weren’t watching Ogun through a basketball at your hand making you push the end of the football in your mouth. “Wow you seem pretty experienced with balls in your mouth, you gotta show me some time.” You cradle your mouth, it throbbed with dull pain and resentment filled your mind. “I’m sure it’ll be easy, there aren’t going to be too many inches stopping me.”

At this point, both your nerves are on high alert, and the energy in the air shifts from playful to angry. “Oh yeah?” Ogun walks slowly and calmly towards you, raising a brow when you stumble back yet still maintain your glare. The hand cradling your jaw is held tightly in his grasp, “Would you like to try?” The dare only eggs you on, “You won’t last a second.” The faint twitch of his temple lets you know you hit a nerve.

*Wheeeeze*

Both you and Ogun’s heads snap to the left. Pan stood at the gym doorway arms waving and whistle blowing, a clear attempt at reprimanding your laziness. The playful aura comes back and you and Ogun are subjected to extra work for your negligence. “This is your fault you know.” he shoots back, “I don’t want to hear it Montgomery.”

Ogun walked down the hallway in search of a new victim to torture, so it was only pure convenience when he stumbled near your living quarters and caught you just before you walked inside. “Y/n! You were absent for dinner.” You take one look at him before dashing into your room. All you wanted was to sleep, training with Ogun, and then having to complete your own set of chores plus extra was tiering. So seeing Ogun wandering out and about during the late hours only met trouble.

You jolt from your train of thought as your door is banged on. “Go away Montgomery, I’m trying to sleep.” Ogun whined, “Well you weren’t trying too hard cause you weren’t in your room yet, now let me in.” You kicked the door back, “No, now go away!”

No sound is heard, not even a shuffle. Sighing you walk towards your bed with a content smile, you’d apologize to him later but now it was your time for rest. Heavy wind billowed through your opened window making you shiver as the curtains tickle your skin. The sharp coolness made your teeth rattle but it was just the right amount of cool you needed in order to head off quickly to dream land. Turning the dial of your lamp, your room is shrouded in darkness and you climb underneath the covers. Nothing could stop the relaxation you were about to receive…….nothing but the feeling of “something ain’t right.”

Opening your eyes and expecting the worse, you are then greeted with the worst as the same fiery eyes you admired hours before, hovered above your face. “You should really close your window.” You scream and throw a punch in Oguns direction but it is in vain as he catches it and pins it down. “I should really get you back for doing that earlier.” Ogun doesn’t make any move to let you go or even speak again. “How the hell did you get there so fast?” You are unable to look away from his eyes, nothing else would have mattered anyway.

More wind blows through your curtains. “I told you I’ve gotten faster.” You can feel his breath caressing your cheek the closer he gets to your face. The hand wrapped around your wrist tightens despite your body being slackened. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah”

No one knows who moved first. All you know is that your pajamas were being ripped off of your body as Ogun aggressively devoured your lips. Tossing everything to the ground, Ogun sits above you, with his shirt was off, you are given the liberty to admire his chiseled body. Ogun makes quick work with fingering you open, watching with a toothy grin as your chest shakes and your breath stutters. “Not talking much now are you?” He doesn’t care if you respond, all he cares about is wearing you down. You pull him closer, nails dragging down his back, as your orgasm overwhelms you. “Ogun!” Your legs are hiked up and over his shoulders as he positions below you.

“Good job, I don’t want to hear anything else but my name.” The stretch was burning and filled you tightly. “How many inches you think that is?” You weakly slap Ogun’s arm as he weakly ruts into you before pulling out completely, “S-Stop making fun of me.” “ Aww, but it’s fun!” Ogun is slow and precise as he mashes his hips forward. There is no hesitation and the pace stays at a fluid toe-curling pressure. “You’re so silent now Y/n. Tell me, how does it feel, huh?” Your back raises from off the bed, “It...good-I oh god!”

The simple fact that you couldn’t speak sent tremors to Oguns cock. He wanted to tease you more, make you break. Your pussy was wet and sopping for him and not even Sol could make him stop fucking you, not when you looked so beautiful underneath him. But a mischievous streak doesn’t go away that easy.

Leaning back on his haunches, you are put back on top of Ogun, the same position you were in when on the feild. He doesn’t move and just looks at you, “What are, what are you doing?” You try to bounce but he holds you down making you pulse around him. “Please let me move.” But he doesn’t, the only movement you get is when you’re held down harder on his cock. “How many inches Y/n?” You shrug, “I don’t freaking know like 5 or something!?” You just wanted to cum not answer a random questionnaire.

Ogun uses his strength to lift you up and slam you back down. “Wrong, try again.” It takes a moment for you to catch the breath that got knocked out at the second stroke. “Do you really want me to stroke your stupid ego, fine 8inches!” You are slammed down again and this time it hits a special spot just short of your G. “Wrong again, don’t be a smart ass Y/n” He rubbed your side. “Come on, play my game for a little bit, don’t you want to cum on my dick?” Oguns hands squeeze your breasts, thumbs rotating the dark circles of your areolas leaving your nipples to tingle in need.

“Si-Six damn it! It has to be like 6.” your answer is mumbled but is loud enough to satisfy Ogun. As if you weighed nothing less than a piece of paper, Ogun uses his thighs to bounce you on his cock. Your chest bounces in his face taking his immature mind to cloud nine. He could feel the tell tell sign of his own orgasms cumming, as your ass slammed down on his shaft. “Stop squeezing down so damn hard!”

Being the person you are, you don’t listen even after you feel Ogun spill inside of you. “Oh fuck!” You rearrange your own legs and start bouncing at your own pace. The tight grip on your waist means nothing as you chase your second cumming. “Hurry up you little shit my balls are burning!” Ogun tossed his head back as his mouth releases cracked moans. His cock continued to twitch as it became softer but still stimulated. Soon, Ogun couldn’t take the stimuli anymore and pushes you down on the bed. The feeling of his fingers thrusting in and out of your pussy was a little less satisfying than his cock but you cream around it just as easily.

You lay down giggling while Ogun goes in and out of sleep. “I was right, you didn’t last a second.” “Shut the hell up, you’re like a vice.” Your sweaty state somehow doesn’t bother you as you rest in the afterglow. Your blinds continue to shimmer as the wind continues to blow. “Five and a half.” The numbers mean nothing to your muddled brain, “What?” Ogun looks at you, “5 and a half inches is the correct answer but I appreciate the 6.”

Suddenly the glow was no longer worth it.

[datawyrms]

Ectober Day 27/3 Cobwebs

On Ao3

Did he like intentionally looking for trouble? No. Did he really have a choice in the matter? Nope. They barely managed to keep Phantom from bolting after an unknown foe, and he was pretty sure the demon was still angry about it. At least he agreed to be patient and lurk in the shadows for now. He had zero idea what they were going to do once the demon knew what Gregor looked like, he’d been hoping to just avoid conflict. That wasn’t going to be possible now, no matter how bad their odds were.

Like, he gets it. If that big wolf was a friend, he knows why Phantom needs to try and help. Leaving him stuck under someone’s thumb, unable to speak would be too cruel. He just wishes they had a plan that didn’t totally suck. Trying to maybe trick a demon, or a fae creature with a deal? That didn’t sound great.  As long as they stayed in public, that should limit the amount of demon stuff their foe could do- but that went for Phantom too.

Really, the worst thing was this restless energy he couldn’t quite pinpoint. It was sort of like when he was dreading a test, only more constant. He wasn’t even sure it was his own fear, or Phantom’s bleeding over to him somehow. Both? The fact his shadow kept jittering made both seem pretty likely. The papers he and Sam worked together to make as ‘backup plans’ didn’t reassure him much. They tested the shields and warding glyphs, but the more offensive options were…untested. He wasn’t down for launching electricity in his house, or fire, or the weird tree one Sam insisted was the best idea. Phantom picked out one that should let them have a temporary portal to get the hell away if they had to, but he really worried if that might send them into that nothing place again. It wasn’t fun the first time!

You’d think, amped up as he was, as cautious and worried as he was, Gregor would be unable to startle him.

“Ah. I see the demon is being protective today? Told you countless lies, no doubt.”

Gregor totally startled him. He barely managed to bite down an ‘eep’, flattening against his locker the best he could. “D-Demon? What are you talking about?” He said, choosing to play dumb. It’s not like either Sam or himself had actually confirmed anything personally.

“Oh, the little beast that won’t let go of you. I was hoping your friend might make you see reason.” Gregor leaned against the lockers as well, as if mimicking him. “That creature does not aim to help you. Tucker.”

Well. Clearly playing dumb wasn’t working. Sending off a ‘help’ message one handed was easy enough, he just had to play it cool and make sure Phantom didn’t do something stupid, “Hey, I know you’re just being helpful, but I think I can handle this on my own, okay?”

“Which you think because the demon is telling you I am an enemy, yes?”

“Maybe I don’t like your style? Like you had some wolf follow me?” Tucker tried to seem confident, switching tactics. Phantom hadn’t said much about Gregor at all, really. In fact, he was pretty surprised the demon hadn’t said anything yet.

“For safety. I could see the demonic influence getting stronger on you. Now it is bold enough to cling to you like an insect.” The white haired boy adjusted his sunglasses. “Souls are fairly bright, but I can hardly see yours, lately. I worry.”

So he’s saying he can just see souls? Is that a demon thing? Phantom hadn’t mentioned such a skill. “You don’t have to. Seriously, I’m fine.”

“You think you are. That is why they are insidious.” Gregor refused to take the hint. “Why do you think it is so quiet now? It fears those that know it’s tricks.”

How did he know Phantom wasn’t taking? Was he okay? His backpack felt a little heavier...but why? Too many questions! “Or you’re just trying to freak me out.”

“Tucker, hey! Was wondering where you were.” Sam walked up, doing a fairly good job of masking the fact she likely had sprinted over after getting the text. “You better not be harassing my friend.”

“Of course not. I only harass, as you put it, demons.”

“Well I’m not a huge fan of people who harass living things. We’re going.” Sam grabbed Tucker by the arm in an attempt to help ferry him away.

He seemed unbothered by their retreat, still relaxing against the lockers. “You pity them, but they are far below animals.”

“Don’t move. Webs in the way. Go the other way.”

Oh, now the demon speaks up. What kind of webs? Cobwebs? Those wouldn’t be a big deal?

“Entanglement.”

Would it kill him to explain a bit? At least Sam apparently also got the message, turning on her heel instead of continuing. 

“To you maybe. We don’t need to agree with your opinion.”

“Even as it tries to take your friend away from you?” He seemed amused that they’d stopped, a lopsided grin on his face.  “Has that little demon told you about it’s family? How many they kill?”

“I’m not talking to his family.” Tucker frowned. ”I don’t think he’s as bad as you say either.” It’s a pretty dumb hope, but maybe Gregor will just...go away once it’s clear they want nothing to do with him or his help, and won’t hand their friend over. Except the whole Elliot thing...and Wulf...

“Clearly. It is understandable. They are known for their cunning, after all.” The chatter of the halls felt distant, even though people were wandering by like always. As if they’d been cut off, but still present. “I will be frank. That creature leeching onto you is a menace, and I wish to dispose of it.”

“I’d rather if you didn’t, thanks.” Tucker felt the need to clutch his backpack closer, a shudder running down his arms. A busy hallway shouldn’t feel so enclosed, so empty, especially when he could see people from the corner of his eye.

“I am aware of this. I would prefer to not make a mess.”

“If you think you can threaten us with some magic tricks, you have another thing coming.” Sam stiffened, half stepping in front of Tucker.

“No threats. Just knowledge about the creature you shelter.” Gregor ran a hand through his hair, too much at ease with how Sam glared at him. “An old history, plenty of corpses coated in cobwebs. Go ahead, if you do not believe me. Ask the little beast.”

“We’re not interested.”

“You should, considering how those corpses were made. Betraying those who trusted it, of course.”

“Liar.” Phantom’s hiss crackled in his head, making Tucker wince with the sheer vehemence. 

“Though I expect it would word it differently. That it didn’t know what it was stealing was so important. How many children perished for a prank?”

Sam bit her lip, eyes flicking to Tucker and back. “You know about this because? It doesn’t sound like something you just ‘learn’.”

“I expect you have an idea, Sam. Elliot is...difficult, at times.”

“Wait you’re just admitting-” Tucker sputtered, backing half a step away.

“It is only temporary. Once I have dealt with that demon, he is free to go. If you feel so passionately for these creatures, you may take the others I have in my care as well.”

“Don’t agree to anything.”

How was nobody reacting to this? Gregor just...admitted to being some sort of bodysnatcher and nothing!

“They don’t perceive us right now. Easy to do.”

Sam filled the silence, trying to hide the waver in her voice with more volume. “I don’t see any reason to do what you want when you’re just using somebody like this.”

“Like I said, I do not like to make mess. You are merely being influenced by the demon and know no better. That creature is not a harmless speck, and owes you nothing. I am willing to reward you, if that is what you wish.” Gregor picked at his nails while he spoke, not even bothering to watch their reactions.

“You want to bribe us to hand over our friend? Dude, that’s fucked up.” He adjusted his grip on the bag, noticing the odd lump inside. Was Phantom cowering in there?

“I doubt it is a friend. Or, it would not call you one.”

“We’re not interested.” Sam crossed her arms.

“Ah, you speak rashly. I be more clear. We do this the clean way, and everyone is happy.” Gregor stopped leaning, standing up straight and brushing off his jacket. “We do not do this cleanly?”

His hand twisted with a sickening snap, leaving Tucker fumbling with his bag- something silvery wrapped around both. Another click and a shadowy mess hit the ground with a shriek, green eyes wide and white claws scrabbling at a silvery collar around his neck.

Sam immediately moved to try and get it off, but getting a grip on the demon while he was scrabbling and insubstantial accomplished nothing.

Tucker reached for the first thing he could find, slapping the rune down and hoping it might snap the strands, but the flicker of flame died before it got close to the silvery abomination strangling the demon.

“I take him back hard way. Up to you.”

The hallway grew close again as he turned and gave a sarcastic wave. Only after he turned the corner did the strands release Phantom, who instantly darted back into the bag, a low whine echoing in their skulls,

[gendercraft]

When I Fell Overboard [Chapter Eight: Never Been The Type To Trust]

Read on ao3

Synopsis: Sebastian struggles with his relationship with Maru as she strives to get close to him. Meanwhile, he and Elliott get closer and closer.

Trigger warnings: Panic attacks, fighting, snapping, potentially unsympathetic Robin, crying, food mention, let me know if I missed anything please

Fall came around full force. Nearly overnight, the leaves turned red and orange and yellow, crisp breeze carrying them across the cobble walkways. Pierre and Caroline had Abigail help them hang a huge sign above their entranceway advertising their ‘one of a kind’ and ‘Joja-free’ pumpkin seeds. Gus brought out a new menu, similarly pumpkin themed, but Sebastian couldn’t say he hated the spiced pumpkin mead. 

He and Elliott spent most days together. Any time he had to pull himself away, either to get some alone time or catch up with Abigail and Sam, they stood behind Elliott’s closed door with their arms wrapped around each other, Sebastian safely cradled against Elliott as they promised to meet again soon. 

Sebastian was falling hard. Every time he saw Elliott, he couldn’t help but smile. Elliott would do something small, like whisper an “aha!” when he figured out how to fix a plot hole, or accidentally burnt himself with his raspberry tea, or made too many crab cakes and had to share, and all Sebastian could think was, “I love you.” 

It was becoming a little bit of a problem. Elliott showed no signs of feeling the same way, gave Sebastian no hints, nothing to work off of. He eventually broke and spent a good twenty minutes venting to Sam and Abigail, who stared at each other, and then him, and then each other, then Sam sighed and left the room. 

“What’s his problem?” Sebastian asked, face hot. 

“You. You’re an idiot.” Abigail grabbed her drumsticks. “Come on, if we start he’ll come back in.” 

Abigail was spending a suspicious amount of time with Maru. Occasionally Abigail would come over while Sebastian was working and stay shut inside Maru’s room until he finished, sometimes for hours. There was an awful lot of laughing, though Sebastian couldn’t understand why. 

He eventually accepted that if she and Abigail were going to be friends, Maru and Sebastian had to be a little more than civil. Not quite friends themselves, but close. So when Maru reached out, he forced himself to stop snapping back. He still didn’t like that she was so insistent on them having a good relationship, didn’t understand why she didn’t already have enough—you’re stealing my best friend and you want me, too?—but he had to let it go. He couldn’t lose Abigail. He’d die. 

“Is it cool if I invite Maru with us to the saloon tonight?” Abigail asked during band practice one day. 

“Sure,” Sebastian mumbled. “Oh, and Elliott gave the okay for next week.” Sebastian asked if the three of them could use his cabin to rehearse one day so they could see how their songs would sound how they were meant to, on the piano. 

“Awesome.” Sam plugged his guitar into the amp with a wicked grin. “I am ready to give my mom a headache.” 

Sebastian rolled his eyes. 

After practice, they headed out to the saloon, an order of pizza and a round of beers already waiting for them. Sam gave Shane a cheerful wave and a smile, who returned it with a grunt. 

Abigail hopped onto Journey of the Prairie King, cussing the arcade machine out while Sebastian killed Sam in pool. Elliott showed up to drink his share of the beer and wrap his arms around Sebastian’s shoulders from behind. Sebastian blushed under everyone’s stares, but couldn’t bring himself to push Elliott away. It always made Sebastian so happy when Elliott touched him, a feeling of me, he’s choosing me. He could have anyone else right now and he’s choosing me.

It was hard to push aside the dread piercing Sebastian’s stomach when Maru came through the saloon doors. He focused on the game, not meaning to ignore her but trying to act casual and, well, taking it too far. 

“Hey, Sebastian.” Maru smiled. 

He glanced up. “Hey.” 

They stared for a moment, then Maru stepped aside to join Abigail at the machine. 

“So how are things going with you?” Elliott asked, giving him space to shoot. 

Sebastian bent over the table slightly with his pool cue. His tongue poked between his lips as he analyzed the set up, then moved and shot, hitting three of his balls into the holes and knocking aside two of Sam’s. 

“Damnit!” Sam side. “Fuck, Seb.”

Sebastian grinned. Then he remembered Elliott’s question and it faded. “Right. Um… fine, I guess? I mean, she’s here, right?” 

Elliott nodded slowly. “Right… is she still asking for your help with the robot?” 

“Yeah. Every other day, pretty much.”

“Why don’t you help her?” He rested a hand on Sebastian’s shoulder. 

“She doesn’t need my help,” Sebastian muttered. 

“I think she does,” Elliott said gently. 

Sebastian shook his head and leaned against the pool table while Sam considered his move with a snail’s pace. 

“What does it matter?” Sebastian asked in frustration. “I thought you were staying out of it, remember?”

Elliott smiled nervously. “Right.” 

They played a little while longer, until Sebastian won and they were all tipsy. They stumbled out the saloon doors, milling around for a second while they figured out who was going with who. 

“Did you still want to see those videos of the Stardew caves?” Abigail asked, shyer than usual. 

Maru nodded with a smile. “I have a good computer. Wanna spend the night?”

She nodded. “Sebastian, you coming?” 

“Uh…” He glanced to Elliott, tipsy enough to allow the hope to show plainly on his face. 

Elliott laughed and wrapped an arm around his waist. “You can spend the night with me. You know I never mind.” 

“Well, I’m going to my own house,” Sam said, holding his hands up. “Have fun.” 

Maru, Abigail, and Elliott laughed, and they all split ways. Sebastian slipped his hand into Elliott’s when they were out of sight. 

Elliott smiled at him. “Want me to read to you when we get home, my dear?” 

Home. 

Home home home. 

Sebastian nodded. “Yeah.” 

Then Sebastian saw it. He looked up and Elliott was smiling softly, his brows relaxed, eyes sparkling. He was… happy to see Sebastian. 

Elliott chuckled. “What?” 

“Nothing,” Sebastian murmured. “Just…” He bit his lip. How could he say this? He forced the words out, “just… happy to… to be… you know, to be with- with you.” 

Elliott brightened. “That is so sweet! Sebastian!” He squeezed his hand as they stepped onto the beach, kicking sand as they went. “Before we head inside, do you want to go on a walk?” 

With the alcohol buzzing pleasantly in his head and the moon hanging above them, there was absolutely nothing Sebastian would rather do. He nodded. 

They strolled along the sand, headed towards the tidepools on the other side of the beach. When they arrived, Elliott broke off, and Sebastian missed holding his hand but it was worth it to watch him run around the tidepools, picking up shells and holding them to the starlight. He came over to Sebastian with a small, smooth black and purple shell and held it out to him. 

“Reminds me of you,” he said sheepishly, and that was it, Sebastian was in love. 

He cradled it in his hands, staring up at Elliott with the widest grin. 

Kiss him. 

Sebastian’s grin weakened. He couldn’t do that. He could never do that. What if he read everything wrong, and Elliott didn’t like him at all? Sebastian wouldn’t survive the embarrassment—or the guilt, if Elliott didn’t feel the same but kissed him anyway to spare Sebastian’s heart. 

“I had a really good time with you tonight,” Elliott said softly. He stepped closer and fit his hand into Sebastian’s. He cupped Sebastian’s face. “I always have a good time with you.”

Sebastian couldn’t speak, just smiled up at him, eyes damn near close to watering. 

“I was worried, with Maru being there. You guys always have so much- so much friction, and I know it upsets you. I don’t want anything to upset you. Maru is truly trying though, and it means a lot that—” 

He stopped. His face flushed, eyes widening. 

“I mean…” 

Sebastian frowned. “What are you talking about? What does that mean?” 

“No, nothing.” He brushed Sebastian’s hair back. “It was nothing.”

Sebastian took a step back. His hands trembled. “Have you been talking to Maru?” 

He hesitated. “Sebastian…” 

“Have you been talking to Maru?” He asked harder. “You promised you wouldn’t meddle in my relationships.” 

“I- I know. And I’m sorry. But after we started getting close, she came to me, and she was so upset, Bastian-”

Sebastian shook his head, eyes squeezed closed. The shell fell to the sand. “You promised me. Why would you… I can’t believe you’d…” 

“Please don’t be upset,” he begged. He stepped closer, and Sebastian stumbled back. “I just want you to be happy.” 

“That’s none of your business!” Sebastian exploded. “I told you not to get involved, it’s none of your business whether Maru and I get along or not! I can’t believe you’d- you’d-” 

Fuck, now his eyes were watering. Shit. He shook his head and turned, stumbling over the tidepools. 

“Sebastian! Wait!” 

“Just leave me alone, Elliott!” 

He stormed away. 

He was grateful it was so cold, because his body was hot, sweat pin-pricking his brow. He slammed the door open to his house and stormed towards Maru’s room. He banged on the door until she answered. 

“Sebastian?” Her anger faded. “What is it?” 

“I can’t believe you’d talk to Elliott behind my back,” he snapped. “You’re really so desperate to have a relationship with me that you’d trick me into it?” 

“Seb?” Abigail peeked over Maru’s shoulder. “What’s wrong?” 

He couldn’t even get the words out anymore. Part of him knew he was overreacting, knew he’d regret this, but his stomach boiled and his chest was tight and he was so, so angry, so upset that Elliott and Maru would… 

He squeezed his eyes shut. 

“Sebastian, you need to breathe,” Abigail said firmly. 

Her cold hands cupped his face. He blinked his teary eyes open. 

“Whatever you’re mad about, it’s okay,” she soothed. “You can figure it out.” 

He turned and hurried away. He barely managed to get his bedroom door shut and locked before he sank to the ground, hands trembling and body numb. 

He’d never been the type to trust people. In all honesty, he probably doomed his and Demetrius’ relationship from the start. Maybe he doomed his and Elliott’s, as well. 

All he knew is he didn’t trust Elliott anymore, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to.

[wisherbysharlight]

WHAT IF... SANDERS SIDES BUT MAKE IT A TROPEY TEEN BEACH AU

Endgame!LAMP. Dukeceit, Remile

Just 2k stream of consciousness words from a plunny that grew legs TW for v slight underage drinking, one joking mention of violence, and a non-specific discussion of intrusive thoughts

-Janus has just moved there because his parents wanted to start a new "adventure" and he is a Stereotypical Teenager. Very "ugh MOM I wanna go back to my FRIENDS for my LAST SUMMER BEFORE COLLEGE"(most of his friends suck. He should not spend time with them. He does not know this)

His Parents buy him a surfboard and tell him to try it out as a way to get him to Shut Up

Hes a Skater Boy(cue music) so he picks it up super fast from like,,, youtube videos

 -He gets told to Get a Job if he wants to like, keep buying surf gear?

All the local kids work at like one restaurant/yacht club type place right on the beach

Janus gets hired as a host

 -Logan is a beach badge checker, Patton, Roman, and Remus are beachfront restaurant waiters but Roman just Really Wants To Surf, Emile and Virgil are Lifeguards, and Remy is a bartender

 -Janus is Very Good At Customer Service because Fake Smiles

Patton recognizes this Immediately

He shows him the Rage Closet which is a tiny room with an arm chair that locks from the inside where you can punch a pillow on your break when it gets to be Too Much

-Janus is Attached now and there is no getting rid of him

Patton Fully Endorses this and introduces him to the rest of the group

Janus Knows Immediately that LAMP is In Love but says nothing because he aint no snitch

-Remus surfs, but he also always wear a thong while doing it

Roman wears a full wetsuit and somehow still gets Board Rash. Remus is somehow immune and it infuriates him

 -Janus, not knowing that the twins live right on the beach cuz they are RichTM: Hey Ree I kinda wanna learn how to surf would you be able to teach me 

Remus, who religiously watches Janus surf every morning, but is absolutely willing to play this game: Yeah absolutely

Patton, later: “lets rinse off at the twins they’re right here” Janus: theyre.... What?!

 -Meanwhile, elsewhere, Virgil and Roman are double teaming Logan to drag him into the water with them cuz he’s pouting about losing a debate with their manager about how he didn’t really be mean to the dudebro who wanted to get his buddies onto the beach without paying, he was just enforcing the rules. And if the dude was so offended by Logan’s Very Accurate Dragging that he complained to management then, well, that’s his problem not Logan’s

 -Logan is never without a book. Ever. And its always a different book. Janus is starting to think he owns a library

One day he is just... reading a Physics textbook. Not taking notes or anything. Just reading. 

Roman is Very Very Alarmed by this because he is Gay and Math is Scary

"Roman I'm also gay that is not a determining factor"

"Yeah but you can't drive"

"...fair"

 -the first time janus has a shift with the twins, he cant stop staring, not just because hes like,,, super attracted to Remus but also because they are like Chaos Incarnate and yet somehow get the most tips??? He doesn't understand???

It's just cuz they are both Huge Flirts and Flatterers and the patrons dont care that they're not-so-subtly beating the shit out of each other right there on the dining floor because theyre just so charming

 -one of the bartenders gets aggressively snapped at by a customer and called "sweetheart" and before Janus can even begin to react Remy is there, sunglasses off, fire in his eyes, telling them to settle their bill and get the fuck out

Janus, used to City Restaurants- "Wont you get in trouble with the owner?!"

Remy, who knows Nothing Else But This- "What?? Not likely I only did it cuz Thomathy wasnt here to do it himself"

 -the restaurant is closed Monday and Tuesday so that is the Pseudo Weekend for the staff where everyone hangs out at the beach

Emile and Virgil take Tuesdays off but still work Monday’s cuz they feel better being the one watching over their friends

 -Roman, staring at Virgil on the lifeguard stand: ugh he’s so pretty I almost wish I was drowning just so he could give me cpr 

Janus: you wanna potentially get your ribs broken just for lip contact? 

Remy, staring at Emile on the lifeguard stand: listen, if that’s what it takes, I’ll take it

Remus, immediately going up to the lifeguard stand because he has 0 impulse control: hey my brother and cousin want you to break their ribs 

Virgil and Emile: excuse me?????

 -Patton will literally spend hours in the water. Logan physically drags him out to put sunscreen on him every two hours to the minute. Patton does not admit that he purposely "forgets" just so Logan will do so

Logan is Dark and has never used sunscreen ever but Patton is so pale and he just gets so concerned about him. Patton thinks its adorable

He has pages of research on proper spf determination.

Roman and Remus use spf 15 just on their faces and have never once burned in their lives

Logan wants to submit them for scientific study because that shouldnt be possible

Virgil calls Logan out on the fact that he also should be wearing sunscreen and Logan like... blue screens he cant believe in all his research he missed that

 -Patton is like... a ridiculously strong swimmer. Virgil still has a heart attack every time he goes for laps when there is the slightest hint of an undertow

Patton Knows This so he tries to stay in Virgil's sight line for the most part if there is an undertow. Or just dives over the waves again and again.

His nickname is Ariel. He thinks its just cuz of the swimming and the fact hes a red head. LAP all separately also tack on that its the swimming, the red hair, and the hnng pretty 10/10 would follow out to sea ala Prince Eric

 -first beach bonfire Janus goes to Remy is Fully In Emile's Lap like... half an hour in

he has had like maybe a sip of a beer

Remus says he still claims this is because he is a Clingy Drunk

no one will call him on it, least of all Emile

 -there is truth or dare. Roman may or may not skinny dip you have no proof

 -Logan gets infuriated that he cannot roast a marshmallow properly

Patton does it perfectly every single time but its ok cuz he shares and Logan eats it right from his fingers and Roman and Virgil are just in the background Trying and Failing not to be the Most Jealous

Patton thinks theyre upset they didn't get marshmallows and makes some for them too and there is lots of Significant Eye Contact involved

Janus is going to spontaneously combust if they don't get their shit together

 -Janus is out walking on the beach one night on a full moon cuz he cant sleep with everything so quiet around here when he sees a bright green patch out in the water and goes ...wait

he calls out to Remus and he comes into shore and is like "waves are perfect at night you should join me" so janus goes back and gets his board and they surf and chat for like the entire night

Janus finds out Remus couldn't sleep cuz intrusive thoughts were keeping him awake

Janus listens and doesn't judge, just lets Remus talk it out

They go back to shore and fall asleep on the sand next to each other like mid sentence still talking, now about whatever creative business idea Remus had, and get woken up by Logan's morning rounds like "come on guys you know you're not allowed to sleep out here" but they dont care theyre both just *blushing emoji*

-Logan Always Has A Notebook right? And a regular book he reads. And everyone assumes they are like Notions and Observations, but no, it’s actually blank paper and he uses it to sketch and then one day he leaves it behind and someone either Virgil or Patton finds it and flips through it and it’s all sketches of them and Roman and they’re like??? Actually really good? Anyway that’s how they find out Logan is actually minoring in art even though he’s majoring in something Very STEM 

And he never told his best friends because like almost all his pre college art is Them and he doesn’t want to be caught having Feelings and by the time it gets to college it’s been too long and he can’t tell them now 

Roman takes one of the sketches of him surfing and makes it his profile picture on All Social Media He Has and Logan is so flustered he nearly breaks his damn phone

Patton is so offended he didn’t get invited to Logan’s first showcase that he doesn’t talk to him for like two whole hours 

Virgil quietly asks if there is any art of all four of them, finds out there is, and makes a print and keeps it on his bedside table

 -They are all Pining Outwardly Now and its Worse

 -Remus : you have known them since pre-k please ask them out I beg of you 

Roman: You just dont get it 

Remus: I asked Janus out after 4 weeks what is your problem

 Emile: Virgil, I love you, you are my Partner in Anti-Drowning but you are so stupid 

Virgil: What???? All I said is that you and Remy are really cute and I'd love to be in a relationship like that 

Emile: I am not a violent person, Virgil, but I have the strong urge to smack you

 Patton, in the Rage Closet: They're all just so hOT and ReSPEctFUL 

Janus, waiting for his turn, trying to act like he cant hear him: I Am Looking Elsewhere

 Logan: I just don't understand why they were more upset that I didn't tell them than that I'd been making art of them for years?? Shouldn't that second part be worse??

Remy, who has been partial to Every Single One Of AMP Waxing Poetic About Logan: Yeah, no idea /s

 -the twins get into a surfing competition as a pair and everyone goes to see them and support them

Thomas airs the competition on every tv in the restaurant cuz he’s Proud of his Bois

They WIN cuz they are Creative and Talented and came up with all sorts of crazy tricks while they were fucking around in the water but it earns them Major Bonus Points for originality

 -Roman does the run off the podium and into Love’s arms trope with just like... whoever’s closest lets go Patton because he is a Waif and forced himself up front so he can see

The other two are Devastated because well shit but then Roman pushes through the crowd, still holding Patton’s hand, and gives them this smile and is like “remember in like second grade when we said we’d do everything together and made a pact on this beach”

Analogical: uhhhhhh yeah

Roman: holding you both to it. No take backs. This counts. Now kiss me, dammit, we WON and they DO MANY TIMES AND ITS REAL CUTE

 -Meanwhile dukeceit have Mysteriously Disappeared and No One wants to be the ones to go find them. They show back up, eventually. Janus has a branch in his hair and remus' hair is sticking straight up and when he opens his mouth roman glares at him and tells him in no uncertain terms that they do not want to know

 AnYWaY these are my children and I will gladly answer any questions about them. I left out Janus Backstory and Creativitwins Angst and Many Individual LAMP Scenes and Remile/Dukeceit getting together and Epilogue but can absolutely provide such things on request

[popculturebuffet]

The Legend of the Three Caballeros: Shangri-La-Di-Da and Sheldgoose Squaredance Reviews: The Last Ride (Comissoned by WeirdKev27)

SALUDOS AMGIOS.. THIS IS IT! The finale review of my retrospective on the Three Caballeros THE RIDE OF THE THREE CABLLEROS. It’s the final ride. While there will be, as i’ve said the last few time, a little epilogue to celebrate finishing this, as clocking in at 15 reviews, one best of list coming next week and covering a film, two sizeable comic book stories, and 18 episodes of television, this has been one of my largest projects and one of my proudest. But there will be time to look back next week. For now i’m amped up, excited about this series and excited to finish. So after the cut join me for one last full ride as our heroes face their final hour! 

Shangri-La-De-Da: Our penultimate adventure begins with the Cabs returning home after training with King Arthur, where they apparently got a years worth of training in a day.. because apparently Camelot is one giant hyperbolic time chamber. But the training’s paid off as our heroes are now at their most skilled and most powerful: As a result Jose skifully and perfectly cuts an orange in seconds, Panchito ropes an apple from a nearbye stand (and the owner’s really cool about it since Panchito gives him the money for it “Thanks magic rope!”) and Donald.. breaks everything but in a really impressive ways. Our heroes are at their best and ready to take on Feldrake when the time comes, while Ari and the Bear.. are hiding what happened last episode with the girls investigating. Hey can’t win em all. Meanwhile Sheldrake is leading Sheldgoose into the Manor.. after a few goofs on him running into the barrier because he’s a petty asshole. They decsend into the depths bellow leaving Leopold to guard. 

Back at the Cabana Donald just wants one more thing... Daisy. 

I’ve.. gone on about why he shouldn’t do this last time. He deserves better. Xandra is right there and while she’s treated him shabbily from time to time. it’s more human error versus... everything with Daisy just everything. This plot point has been nothing but pain and suffering for me and it’s not changing that track record in these last two episodes, though thankfully it’s barely in the finale, so my own track record of screaming about daisy in text form every time she shows up will also remain in tact. He does this because Xandra offered them a vacation so he won’t be distracted.. again why isn’t she the love intrest? I dunno maybe sh’es more into Jose.  And Daisy sucks on arrival, phrasing, as her response to Donald’s call wasn’t to just.. tell him no but to go to his place to clearly tell him no to his place saying “Let’s recap, you abandoned me in a bad part of town, spent our date in the bathroom all night in a hula skirt, then brainwashed my nieces into helping you trick me with a dummy”. Okay Daisy, you want to recap, you insufferable, pompus, selfish, self absorbed, overly demanding, overly haughty, golddigging rose colored shrew?

Let’s fucking recap: He left you in a bad part of town because he got FIRED from his job and found out his house burned down, something you REFUSED to let him explain. You found out about this and then proceded to berate him over dinner, saying he couldn’t possibly help people. While he did spend a while in the bathroom with a hula skirt nad never explained it the ONE point you have.. he LEFT to go help his friends, with you once again leaving instead of letting him come back and explain later or leaving but going to his place to hash this out or just dump him. THEN, something you CAREFULLY omitted, you moved on which is fine.. as a way to make him jealous, bringing the guy to his door to rub his beak in your new relationship with not a hint of shame,a nd ran off whie he was fighting for his life clearly. Now seeing things were more complicated, you asked NO follow up questions, imposed a date on him and while he did lie your nieces WERE NOT FUCKING BRAINWASHED. This was of their own free will you unbleivible she demon. You are so up your own ass you can’t even see the obvious. And then you came here JUST to say all this and be mean to Donald one more time. While Donald shoudln’t of called you up it’s not because of all that it’s because your a heartlress, selfish, shrivled husk of a person. You care about NO ONE but yourself, and that includes Donald. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on. 

So Xandra just zaps them away and says she’s perfect for Donald. 

Donald and Daisy end up in the himlayas.. cue the music. 

Why isn’t this game on Switch? Questions for later. Point is our heroes find a cave to duck in and a yeti.. who after clearing their throat reveals Xandra left them at the entrance for Shangri-La, and the inside is intorduced.. with a very lackluster musical number. A weak note for the songs to go out on but not bad, though Donald is pissed off because that’s his schtick here.. though credit where it’s do: Since I didn’t know everything and hadn’t finished it turns out his anger was delebrate.. but we’ll get to that and why it dosen’t work in a moment.  Back at the Cabana the boys fence with bread before Panchito gets a flash as Sheldgoose puts the first amulet into..some kind of melting pool... and the girls confirm what happened seconds later. Feldrake has the amulets, which were used to seal him last time as revealed in last episode, and is melting them into his own power. The final battle is nigh! So Xandra goes to fetch Donald.. and comes back as she CAN’T. Donald and Daisy signed a contract and they can’t leave till ALL their problems are solved. And given Donald is carried off after his anger issues not only are evident when, given a pillow representing his frustratoins he destroys it, but he DENIES having anger issues, he’s dragged off to some extreme thereapy.. i.e. a Self Reflecting reflecting pool that manifests his anger as a giant, sausgey, pissed off version of himself and he reacts as you’d expect and gets flattned.  Back at the Cabana, Xandra breaks the bad news.. and whie Jose TRIES to reassure them, his amulet is next to go so he gets a flash of it being destroyed and our heroes now have to scramble to take on Sheldgoose.. WITHOUT Donald.  Back at donald’s inner hulk.. man I love this fucking job, Donald is pounding away until his own flash breaks things for a moment.. and sends him into his own head. We’re then treated to an acid sequece, an homage to Donald’s surreal reverire from the original movie that while not as wild, is still gloriously bizzare. Donald rencounters the teapot ghost thing that’s apparently part of his psyche from the first episode that gets him to consider why his life is like this and he goes through a lot of moments of the first episodes.. conviently eddting out daisy’s questionable behavior and the fact some things had actual catalysits.  See the idea of Donald FACING his anger issues and growing from them is fine. But this has two faults. One, it assuems you can just.. cure anger issues. You can’t. Anger is a normal emotion and as someone with them I hope to generally work thorugh mine with a therapist.. but I know they just don’t magically go away and therapy is a process and your mental issues are lifelong things you have to grapple away. It’s not the MOST insulting treatment of emtoinal issues i’ve seen, as Total Drama you know had someone with MPD cured with a fucking button press, but it’s not great.  And the second is this was poorly set up. Donald was an angry asshole all series yes and it was an issue.. but it wasn’t really FRAMED as a character arc. Just Donald being donald. So while having that be the source of his issues is a good idea for a character arc for im it comes off sloppy and forced because it’s been treated more like a joke or a character trait and less like a SERIOUS issue or the problem with him and Daisy. Hell they put the whole Dapper duck thing in there when he was fine that episode and is rightfully angry about that if at the wrong person. This whole thing just feels rushed, forced and unsatsifying and is a hsame for such a good idea

The payoff is good though, as when Donald awakens and let’s his anger wash away.. he just stands as the anger donald tries to beat the crap out of him.. but can’t do anything to him since he’s calm. He’s fine, and he’s released.. and his shock collar is disabled. Good quick gag.  Meanwhile our heroes aren’t sure what to do despite having tons of magical items.. until they think what would donald do.. and he’d just at least try and thus corm a GIANT FUCKING MAGIC CANON OUT OF THEM. Very nice. They blow the doors off.. and through the back.. and into the money bin where we get a scrooge cameo. 

And he’s voiced by Eric Bauza.. which is sadly not great because it’s far from his best work and dosen’t even really attempt a scottish accent. 

But our heroes storm the gate.. after Xandra easily disposes of the dog guards.. who Sheldgosoe apparently raised to do this... still not entirely over that. They find the staircase and the triplets op to go back while the rest charge in and prepare to fight leopold. 

Back at the Cabana, Donald and Daisy return via tub and Donald, seeing the swirling vortex of darkness outside sheldgoose manor, tells daisy he has to go his friends need him it’s his destiny, gives her one hell of a kiss she dosen’t deserve.. oh and earlier he told her “Thanks for being patient with me” and she tells him it was worth the wait. Ha ha... I hope you get hit by a rusty tractor you unfathomable blight on duck kind. 

So part one ends with Donald heading for the treasure chamber to armor up. 

Sheldgoose Square Dance:  Part two begins with Sheldgoose putting the staff in place, and an egg emerging. Weird.. and as a result of that Leopold sense his ‘Daddy’ and leaves, and before the cabs can charge in donald shows up, now confident, at full strength and after tripping as you’d epxct, with the other cabs armor and in his. The guys suit up, and we get to see both jose’s.. amazing.. toned.. stomach. 

And Panchito’s big belly.. which I have one of those so we’re twinsies. And Xandra of course watches Jose change slyly. Eh i’ts a bit creepy but I can’t blame her for sneaking a peak as long as she didn’t linger. 

So our heroes are suited up, look awesome and have their trademark weapons Let’s fucking go!

Back at the ranch, the Nieces talk to daisy and having grabbed a weird document last time, are trying to piece it together. Daisy.. is suddenly really good with puzzles and helps them with it. They reform it and.. don’t really do much until after the danger has passed and I avoid another cornary yelling innterally at this unpleasant pile of hippo excrement. 

So while the Cabs dash to stop feldrake feldrake awakens.. as a demon baby. And Sheldgoose has about a minute of mockery before feldrake smacks him around with telekensis and agrees while his mind’s affected by his current state, he’s still fully aware and can talk and seeing the cabs are coming gives him a bit of power, i’d say about as much or a little more than what feldrake had as a staff, and sends him after the cabs. 

So we get one of the most awesome moments if not THE most awesome moment in the entire series as something from EVERY episode makes a come back as shelgoose, after trying some zaps, back in full robe and cloak, MAKES HIS OWN ZOOM POINT. Thus it becomes an utterly awesome back and forth as sheldgoose summons one thing from the past and xandra summons another to counter. And it avoids reptititon as the sheer sight of characters from each episode battling it out, and never knowing which ones next, keeps it intresting. 

In order: Sheldgoose summons the moon bots, Xandra summons the roman gods to hack them to pieces, after the boys get some shots in too. Sheldgoose blocks the way with lava lizards, the cabs respond with a goblin army who block the lava river and use a cat launcher against them, courtsey of king vomit. Sheldgosoe unleashes the tengu, the cabs unleash king arthur.. and we get the immortal line from donald “Thanks king arthur!”. Sheldgoose summons his ancestors, the cabs summon the ghost presidents! And in a call back that had me clapping Sheld summons the termintes.. and xandra summons THE MINOTAUR! And Sheldgoose thirsts over him. .huh.. so shledgosoe is bi good for him. And for a final distraction sheldgoose summons.. the dragon.. that was from the adventure they just had he had no way of knowing about. 

So with that out fo the way our heroes and villians both reach feldrake.. whose awakened and is.. this

Really.. weird , if still threanting, deisgn aside, Feldrake now at full power turns new quackmore into the psycadelic starry battlefield we saw in the intro to the series and thus the final battle begins. We see the fight from the start.. but it’s now even MORE beautiful and glorious with context. Before we saw three strangers, if ones we knew from other works fighting some evil we never met. Now we’ve seen our heroes grow, both as people, and as heroes, learning from every encounter, getting stronger with every fight and slowly getting noticably more compitent: going from falling all over themselves just to work a ship, to defeating dragons, tengu, and other horrors as a team. And we’ve seen jus thow petty and cruel feldrake is.. and how serious the stakes are and what our heroes tand to loose should they fail. It’s not perfect.. we could stand to loose daisy and new quackmore dosen’t mean much, though Sheldgoose gets to zap regina into a worm, but it’s still AWESOME and feels like a tremendous payoff and Donald’s predator bro fist thing with Panchito has more weight. Our heroes have risen to their peak and now they face one last obstacle to becoming legends.  The fight is fluid, awesome and gorgeously animated and utterly epic in every sense of the word and we catch up to their seeming defeat.. only for something we DIDN’T know about last time to help.. Xandra who gets htem out of the way. It’s a long and fantastic fight, with our heroes eventaully getting knocked over to a pool while Xandra tries her best to hold feldrake off, but is clearly wearing down despite doing her best. 

Yeah while itw as established Feldrake was melting down the amulets and we saw a pool of resdiual magic, so teh magical pool of stuff the cabs find them at WAS set up.. but what happens next remotely wasn’t. The cabs fall in and commuincate with blazebeak the creator of the amulets who embues them with their power. Where he came from, why he’s just showing up n ow.. I dunno, it comes off as a really badly setup deus ex machina.. but it still dosen’t hurt the finale that bad. A little yes, as everything else is so well paced and feels like so much payoff.. but the awesomeness of our heroes glowing with their signture colors, rushing in to save xandra and then ari, who swiped the rest of the magic goop, giving it to xandra to reivvie her.. overrides it. Sometiems somethings too stupid to be awesome.. and sometimes it’s so awesome it overides common sense. So yeah poorly set up yes.. still fucking awesome also yes. 

Our heroes tear feldrake apart and realize once they see the now empty staff floating in the void they can simply reseal him. Sheldgoose interupts it.. but the nieces arrive riding on humphrey and knock him inot a golden toilet... again I fucking love this job. Our heroes then try ghost bustering him back into the staff and SHeldgoose tries saving him by breaking it.  And it seemingly fails.. new quackmore is restored, Sheldrake’s gone and the town remembered EVERYTHING, cheering at their new heroes and saviors. Sheldgoose finds the staff gone and bemoans his lost master.. and soon looses his presidency as regina strips him of it. With his own powers gone Sheldgoose flees on Leopold, and while Regina tries to take the presdiency for herself.. the girls reveal the document explains if a sheldgoose is absent.. a coot takes his place. And since Donald is the only remaning coot apart from Della and she’s busy actually raising her kids in this continuity apparently, Donald is the new president. While Regina vows to beat him in an election.. our heroes are now happy, with the lawyer from the first episode backing Donald’s claim up. So Donald now has a new job, a new purpose in life, his girlfriend back, which is negiably a good thing, and a new family he dearly loves and tells them as much. Awww. Also he gets the mansion, which our heroes promptly plan to move into. Donald and Daisy fight, of fucking course, our heroes claim roms and Xandra and Jose share a moment. The series gets a truly satsifyign and happy ending.. and a sequel hook as it turns out feldrake is now in sheldgooses body and the tow are going ot have to share it as Sheldgoose has leopold take them to a house with legs.. so the baba yaga then. Sadly we’ll probably never see with this leads.. and this is the end. 

Final Thoughts on the finale two parter: While the first half is a bit weak in the yeti stuff, the rest of it is incredibly strong and Sheldgoose Square Danc,e while having the worst name of the series.. is easily it’s best episode, tying everythign together greatly and being one, tense and epic finale the whole way through. A true masterpiece and a clear sign the series would be even BETTER going forward had it actually been allowed to live and a true shame.. but even with the sequel hooks aside.. it’s still an utterly sastifying, joyous note to go out on and i’m GLAD I saved this one for last, as it provided a great capper for both the series and this retrospective. 

Final thoughts on Legend of the Three Cablleros:

This series.. was excellent. While at first I wasn’t sure it’s rep was warranted, as the first three episodes were good but had flaws and four and five were not great.. everything after that is sublime. The series has it’s flaws, the character devlopment is uneven, the characters can be made into caractures of themselves once in a while and the writing on Daisy is horrid and i’ve said enough on that to last me a lifetime and is easily the worst part of an otherwise fantastic show. But yeah.. as I said OTHERWISE fantastic, as while the daisy stuff is very bad, it’s for the most part in the background of a VERY good show with great voice acting, fun pacing, and beautiful animation.  It’s a loveletter to clasic disney animation, holding tons of mythology gags and refrences and having humphrey as a main character, but with unquie touches like letting the nieces have a starring roll and everything about xandra and sheldgoose. It’s a unique, wonderful and awesome addition to the disney animated canon and deserves a second season or some other sort of revivial. This was a wonderful note to go out on and I’m throughly glad I finally watched it.  So with this the Ride of the Three Cablleros is almost over.. but come back, let’s say next week, for one last party as we count down the top 12 cabs moments and celebrate these happy chappies in matching serapes one last time. Until then.. it’s been a pleasure.. and Kevin.. thank you. 

[xxfanfiction-emo-trinityxx]

Prejudices - Tyler Joseph x Reader

Requested

Summary: Josh has wants to introduce you to his friend Tyler, but you’re far more interested in the lead singer of the band Josh just joined.

Warnings: prejudices, implied bullying in the past

Word count: 2 293

A/N: Kinda inspired by an idea from that post that said high school Tyler looked like the kinda kid that would beat up high school Josh

“I swear, (Y/N), give him a chance,” Josh almost whined.

You raised your eyebrows, and took a sip of iced coffee. It was by far not the first time Josh tried to put in a good word for his friend Tyler. And you had a feeling it would not be the last time either. But so far everything Josh had told you sounded too perfect, and yet some things really raised red flags for you. Most of all: the fact that Tyler had played basketball for his high school, and if you had learned anything from your time in school, it was that someone like you should stay as far away from the sports kids as possible. How Josh was friends with someone like that was a miracle to you. And thanks to your prejudices, you had not even met said Tyler yet.

Josh sighed as he saw your reaction.

“You don’t even know him,” he argued.

You could not deny that it amused you how he basically lead this discussion on his own.

“I’m pretty sure you’d really like him. And he’s looking forward to meeting you too,” Josh mumbled.

“You told him about me,” you finally asked, putting down the glass with your beverage.

“Yeah, of course! You two are like… you’re my best friends. Understand now why it’s kinda taking a toll on me to never be able to have both my best friends in the same room with me? So yes, I talked to him about you.”

You nodded quietly. Of course you had always been very close to Josh, but you had not known he had considered you one of his best friends; you were not used to people appreciating your friendship.

“I’m sorry, Josh, but you know that I kinda have a problem with-“

“With people who you think are pricks because they are good at sports, I know. But Tyler is not like the guys from school. And you can always leave when you feel uncomfortable, I promise,” Josh tried convincing you.

You wet your lips, and took another sip of your iced coffee.

“Do I have a choice,” you eventually sighed.

Josh grinned, knowing he had finally won the discussion that had been going on for weeks between the two of you.

“Come to the show tomorrow evening then? You can see me play, and afterwards you meet Tyler?”

You nodded in agreement.

“The show with that new band of yours, twenty one pilots,” you asked, a feeling of uneasiness settling in your stomach. Meeting Tyler would probably end with Josh being disappointed that you two did not get along. But he would never have stopped bugging you about it, if he would not see it for himself. At least you had a nice concert to cheer you up beforehand.

“You do know I totally plan on setting you two up, you know,” Josh reminded you, grinning triumphantly over the edge of his cup of coffee.

“Yeah, Josh, I know,” you rolled your eyes.

~*~

The concert was in a small hall that usually was used for parties and medium sized events. You assumed about fifty to seventy people would fit in here, but when you came in, there were only about thirty. Opposite the entrance, a stage was set up with Josh’s drums, a piano and a mic stand, together with some amps. It seemed like you had come just in time, because only moments after you had found a good place to stand for the duration of the show, not too far away from the stage, yet not too close either, Josh walked up to his drum set. People clapped and cheered a little, and so did you.

But then your attention got drawn to the other band member, who walked on stage.

Josh had never bothered to share his name with you and right here, right now, you knew that there was no way Josh would get you to be interested in his Tyler tonight, not when you had just laid eyes on the most intriguing person you had ever seen. Why was Josh so dead set on introducing you to Tyler, when this guy right here, wearing a skeleton hoodie and dancing around on stage, was so much more interesting?

In the beginning he had been wearing the hood, which had been zipped closed in front of his face, and you already found yourself noticing the energy that seemed to flow out from underneath his clothes, energy and excitement, and nervousness and eagerness all at once. It drew you in and you could not help but curse Josh for never telling you this guy’s name.

You had to remind yourself that you had been intrigued by this man’s presence even before you had seen his face, because once you did, you were absolutely certain you would spent the next week (at least) swooning secretly over him. Dark, short hair, almost black eyes and fragile features made a strange contrast to the confident behaviour he put on, which did not match the helpless glance over the small crowd.

It took just one look at him to know he was up there for the same reason Josh was, for the same reason why you painted: He needed a way to deal with whatever his mind tortured him with. You had seen that expression often enough on people. Maybe it was not obvious to people who never had to face these dark, dark demons of their mind, and his confidence on stage was, if not real, very well faked, so it was not obvious for everyone, but you just had a feeling about it. That would at least explain why Josh was so happy that he had gotten into the band; finally there was someone who made music and understood him. Just when that thought had crossed your mind, the singer, now with the hood pushed off his head, microphone in hand, jumped on top of the amp closest to you. He looked over the crowd again, and for a moment his eyes met yours.

You were unable to concentrate on anything other than him for the rest of the show.

The concert was amazing. And not only because of the singer. The music was great, the sound could have been better mixed, but then again the people and their enthusiasm made up for everything. Somehow you had managed to forget about the unpleasant encounter that was waiting for you, until the musicians had walked off the stage, and the rush of adrenaline slowly faded. Leaning against the wall next to the door, you wondered how much hell Josh would give you if you snuck out now.

You did not feel like ruining this perfect evening by meeting up with some stupid, egocentric asshole who somehow had tricked Josh into liking him; you would much rather dream a little about that singer, and maybe ask Josh for his name tomorrow.

You were torn out of your thoughts by an unfamiliar voice. Quickly you looked up, and found yourself almost getting a heart attack from looking directly into the face of the singer. Up close he was even prettier. His overly confident stage act had molten away. Instead he seemed pretty comfortable now in his own skin, a little sweaty from the show, maybe mixed with a hint of shyness, but trustworthily normal.

“Did you enjoy the show?”

Hastily you stood up straight; pushing yourself away from the wall you had leant against, and nodded, feeling how a blush was rising to your cheeks.

“It was amazing, yes,” you answered, “Josh never played me any of you guys’ music before, so I didn’t know what to expect, but I really loved it.”

The man giggled at your rambling. It was a lovely sound.

“You’re a friend of Josh’s then,” he asked, pushing his hands into his pockets.

“Yes, we’ve known each other for years,” you explained, “since school.”

There was an awkward silence for a moment, neither of you knowing what to say. You were about to introduce yourself, when he spoke up again.

“I saw you from the stage,” he told you, a teasing half-grin on his face that made him look way too adorable. “Seemed like you were having a good time.”

You laughed embarrassed.

“Oh great, I made a complete idiot of myself,” you joked.

“Not at all! I like it when people have fun at our shows. Means we aren’t too bad at our job,” he laughed, “so is there a chance I’ll see you again at one of our future shows?”

Surprised you looked up at him. The last sentence had sounded shier than you had expected him to sound.

“Um, yeah, of course,” you nodded, “I’d love to see you guys live again some time.”

“Great,” the man smiled relieved, “’cause that gives me the opportunity to get to know you better.”

You raised a challenging eyebrow at him.

“Is that so?”

“Uhm… yeah.” He laughed, not sounding shy anymore.

“Well, then I really have to come, don’t I? Given I survive the rest of this night…”

His face turned from friendly amusement to a frown immediately.

“Survive the rest of the night? Why? Something going on?”

“Nothing big really,” you shrugged, “just… Josh’s wanted to introduce me to one of his friends, and I got a real bad feeling about it.”

“Why? He’s an asshole or something,” the singer asked, making you nod.

“I got a feeling he probably is. But if it makes Josh happy, I’ll meet him. Maybe then he’ll finally believe me that we wouldn’t get along.”

“Ugh, friendships, always so much work,” the other shrugged, “I’m sure it’ll work out somehow, I mean… if not… you could always give me a call and I’ll kidnap you or something.”

“That actually sounds like a plan,” you laughed, glad that the guy in front of you found a way of cheering you up, and also definitely flattered that he was flirting with you.

“So… can I give you my number,” he asked.

“Uhm, yeah, sure, if you like,” you mumbled, feeling a little shy suddenly.

“Here-“ the guy pulled out a felt-tip-pen, “got a paper?”

Shaking your head, you quickly rolled up the sleeve of your shirt, and presented your forearm to him.

He giggled quietly, and stepped closely next to you. Holding your arm with one hand, he scribbled down a series of numbers on your skin. He was about to add his name, which you were incredibly thankful for, when you suddenly spotted Josh’s brown mess of hair at the other end of the room.

You sighed quietly, knowing your time with the wonderful person at your side was up, when Josh spotted you and waved.

“(Y/n)! Tyler!”

You froze. Had he just called the guy here Tyler? Had you been talking to Tyler all this time?

“Josh, hey!” The person next to you cheered.

Dumbfounded you looked down to your arm, and sure enough there stood that cursed name right underneath the phone number.

“You already got talking,” Josh cheered, a shit eating grin plastered on his face.

“You - you’re Tyler,” you asked stupidly, making the men laugh.

“Yeah, yeah I’m Tyler,” the guy at your side laughed and closed the pen again, “Josh said you had some worries-“

“-so we thought it might be best if you got talking to him before you knew who he is.”

“Oh wow, great, now I feel more stupid than ever,” you mumbled.

Actually you felt sick. You knew prejudices were useless, but that you had even told Tyler that you thought he’d be an asshole… Dying seemed like a great way to leave that social situation right now.

“Oh no, don’t, please,” Tyler pleaded, and wrapped his arm around your shoulder, giving you a side hug; a distractingly comfortable side hug. “I know that the sports kids don’t always have the best reputation, I get it. Don’t worry.”

You shook your head, but before you were able to say anything Josh already spoke up.

“And it’s not like you never looked at Tyler throughout the show, is it,” he teased.

“I-“

“It’s fine Josh,” Tyler came to your rescue, “We already established that they’re gonna come to future shows so I can get to know them better, and that I jump in to kidnap them in case this conversation goes downhill, and they allowed me to give them my number so really I’ve done all the flirting on my own already.”

There was no denying that Tyler sounded incredibly proud at all of that.

“And now you even sneakily got your arm around their shoulder,” Josh pointed out. “I should never have introduced you two, now I’m the third wheel. You are as good as married!”

“Let me take him out on a date first,” you grinned, making the other two laugh.

“Alright, where to,” Tyler asked jokingly.

“Nah nah nah, not so fast! For tonight the plan was to go out for dinner all together, remember?“

“Our wedding will have to wait, darling,” Tyler announced in a fake sad voice, making you giggle.

“We might survive it,” you shrugged, “so: where to?”

“Taco Bell.” Tyler and Josh answered together at the same time.

“Are you sure it’s not actually the two of you who are getting married,” you asked.

“Uhm…”

“Shit, I knew there was something!”

The three of you laughed and moved towards the door, Tyler holding it open for Josh and you.

On the way down the street to Josh’s car, which had been chosen as the ride, you kept joking and your heart almost leapt into your throat, when Tyler’s hand brushed against yours, intertwining your pinkies with each other.

Taglist (if you want to be added or taken off, please let me know):

General: @justawriterinprogress @robinruns @jayloverthe3rd @lookalivefrosty @butterfly-writes @starduststyx @angelevansfalls @rene-royale

[smokeybrandreviews]

Smokey brand Retrospective: Red Pill Me

Cinemacon has passed and there has been a lot of awesome sh*t revealed. On the top of that list, obviously, Spider-Man: Far From Home has me geeked to high heaven but there were a ton of other noteworthy reveals. There was some Batman reveals, a few Mission Impossible 7 and Top Gun 2 trailers, plus audiences ever got a surprise screening of Ghostbusters: Afterlife. Now, that would be great on it's own but cats even got a little sizzle real for Matrix Resurrections: The long gestating fourth Matrix film. Apparently, this thing is releasing in December. I am lukewarm at best. I have fond memories of the Matrix trilogy as a whole but, since it’s final release some twenty years ago, the Wachowskis have been revealed to be one trick ponies. They kind of suck at film making. I mean, i liked Speed Racer but i just generally enjoy Speed Racer. It helped tremendously that Christina Ricci was Trixie, too, but everything after that was kind of balls. I also really like V for Vendetta but that’s not real their movie, they just adapted it. I guess you can say that about Speed Racer, too. Anyway, in light of there near Shyamalan-esque track record with their films, i wanted to revisit the first three Matrix films and see if they hold up, to try and muster some sense of excitement for what comes next.

The Matrix

Of the trilogy, this is easily the best film. Everything about it is exceptional. The Matrix was a whole ass shift in the cultural zeitgeist. It was a lot of people’s first experience with accessible cyberpunk and I'll always love it for that. I’ll also love it for normalizing Hong Kong style action sequences and giving us the most breathtaking application of Bullet Time I've seen to date. The Matrix s why the theater exists. If you’ve never seen this thing on the big screen, you missed out on something very special. I had just just turned thirteen when it released and checked it out at the dollar theater. I had only ever seen anything like this, in anime. Seeing all of my favorite Eighties OVAs filtered through the big budget Hollywood lens was incredible. I even like the rather pedestrian narrative. I think the story worked for what the movie was trying to do. It’s a shame the Wachowskis have tried to rewrite history about the narrative as of late. I understand the underlying themes of identity and sexuality but come on? That’s some college film theory bullsh*t that got tacked on after the fact. Now, if the original script is to be believed, then, yes, all of that, but what we got is not so profound. This is a basic Chosen One narrative with Dope ass effects that were ahead of it’s time.

A fr as the cast, what can i say? These motherf*ckers were perfect. Keanu Reeves as Neo was inspired. It’s wild to say that because dude is a plank but it works. He’s the POV character, he’s who you see that world through. Making him a blank slate so to speak, helps with immersion and that is a world you definitely wan to be immersed within. This was my first experience with Carrie-Ann Moss and I've loved her ever since. Her Trinity fast became one of my favorite characters and I'm actually pretty excited to see where she is in the new film. Lawrence Fishburne as Morpheus was an interesting choice. I wasn’t mad and it worked perfectly but it was weird seeing him in such an active, action oriented, role. That said, for me, this movie is made by Hugo Weaving. He is absolutely monstrous as Agent Smith. He’s got this scene chewing energy that mirrors Christoph Waltz’s Hans Landa and we all know how much i love that Nazi f*ck so that’s really high praise. To this day, I've got his Humanity is a Virus speech memorized. It was just that f*cking good! The Matrix is an exquisite watch and it is absolutely mandatory viewing if you consider yourself a fan of cinema.

The Matrix Reloaded

Whoo, boy, talk about a drop in quality. Reloaded released four years later in 2003 and it screams Studio Mandate. I was a sprightly eighteen years old when this thing dropped and made it a point to see it opening day. I really enjoyed the first outing so i figured this one would be just as amazing. Indeed, i remember leaving the theater thinking to myself how decent of a sequel it turned out to be. It wasn’t better than the first but it didn’t sh*t the bed like most follow-ups do. Fast forward to present day and, after watching this thing again for the first time in probably fifteen years, it’s kind of f*cking bad. Like, as a cinematic experience, it’s pretty tight Everything is amped up. Tons more action, way more bombastic set pieces, stakes have been raised considerably; The Matrix Reloaded is everything you want in a summer blockbuster sequel. However, that’s it. Everything else is worse. The acting has become way too hammy and the new cast members fit into this narrative like a square peg in a round hole. Why is f*cking Niobe even in this thing? Who even is the Merovingian? Why is Mouse? The pacing is all over the place, too. Like, this thing stops dead in it’s tracks on several occasions but that’s not the worst of it.

The worst thing is the narrative. What the f*ck even is the story trying to be told in this movie? It doesn’t make any f*cking sense. The Matrix was, very obviously, a standalone film. That was a closed narrative. Neo’s story had been told. Everything after that is unnecessary. This movie is an exercise in the unnecessary. I appreciate all of how unchained and manic Smith is in this but, outside of that, what the f*ck was the point of this whole narrative? It’s filler. This movie is filler and it feels like it. The returning cast is serviceable and seeing Zion was interesting. I like how all the survivors are just sweaty black people. I literally hated everyone added to the cast though. Well, that’s not quite true. I rather enjoyed Collin Chou as Seraph. Dude was inconsequential but i love seeing Asian martial artists not name Li or Chan getting some shine. Also, Monica Bellucci is in this and i kind of just love her in general. Her Persephone is absolutely disposable but she looks damn fine in that plastic wrapped dress of hers. I literally can’t be bothered mentioning anyone else. They are that forgettable. This movie is that forgettable. And it’s arguably the best of the two sequels.

The Matrix Revolutions

Talk about going out with a thud. Man, i saw this with my best friend, rest in peace B, and we both hated it. He was an even bigger fan of The Matrix than i was so his disappointment was palpable. I’ll never forget his visceral reaction when that rainbow spread across the super happy Hollywood ending. Dude was hot and he had every right to be. The first Matrix set up this intriguing, immersive, world full of fanatic visuals, great piratical stunts, and a very through provoking premise. The second Matrix was your basic Hollywood sequel; More shine, less substance. But Revolutions? Man this is peak Wachowski fail. You saw hints of this messiah sh*t in the first, it’s literally a Chosen One narrative, but thy went all in on that sh*t in Reloaded. By the time Revolutions finished, this whole narrative was so far up it’s own ass, it didn’t know which way was up. It just f*cking ends. Everyone is dead and it’s over. The Wachowskis went heavy on the Jesus imagery, they were not subtle, and the f*cking conflict just ends. Robot don’t stop using people as batteries. Flesh and blood Humans still have to live in Zion. The only thing that’s changed is Neo’s dead and Agent Smith has been deleted. That’s it. The Matrix still exists, people are still trapped in it, and everything that happened in these films doesn’t f*cking matter. Literally right back at the start of the whole goddamn conflict. Revolutions is so f*cking disappointing, dude, by every measure of that metric.

Hugh Weaving is still pretty good as Smith and Keanu does his best imitation of white bread as Neo but, like, everything else is just so pedestrian. Plus, this thing is long. Like, unreasonably so. Why the f*ck is this movie two hours? The entire trilogy is kind of like that but it’s most egregious in this one. This story could be told in ninety minutes, just like Reloaded. Why the f*ck do i have an extra half hour of bullsh*t in this? Like, that whole “Neo Lost” arc was unnecessary, in both sequels. F*cking why? I don’t hate Revolutions. It’s not a “bad” film per say, it’s just disappointing. It’s the poster child for the law of diminishing returns. The Matrix Revolutions is the what happens when you let creatives with fresh egos, run amok with one hundred and fifty million f*cking dollars. So much spectacle but even less substance that Reloaded and that motherf*cker was a hollow mess. Still, The Matrix Revolutions is better than anything Michael Bay or Zack Snyder has ever made so i guess it’s got that going for it.

[ginezu]

The Librarian

Part 1

Luka Arnette {Werewolf!} x Female Reader {Human!}

Centuries passed, and much changed for Idlen. The old little town in the Craven Kingdom, just south of the Capital. However, for one stubborn library that refused to go, there was a generation of librarians loyal to its books and scrolls.

Where our story begins, its little life, is in the very town of Idlen, following the very librarian who now watches the library. To watch over the library, her grandmother taught her to keep a very trained eye. The library moved on its own playing tricks and just being downright mischievous. Mara could not turn her back or it would attack. Last time she did, the library changed all its books to Creole, which no one in the vicinity of the library knew. So her patrons left. It took a scolding, to get the library to return to English, even then it pranked her with ink explosions when she opened a book. However, after all that, the library still tucked her into bed when she fell asleep at her desk reading its scrolls.

-❈-

On a fine cloudy day, Mara helped Miss Leona Price find a book about ancient heroes. Miss Leona was eleven years old, every time she finished a book, she would ask Mara what her favorite book was so she could read it. Of course Mara never ran out of favorite books so she gave Miss price a list, and since then the library’s most popular patron was Miss Price. For Miss Price’s sake Mara ignored Miss Prices little crush on her.

After Miss Price left with her new book, Mara waited for the familiar jingle of the front door bell, with a book in hand. She reminisced of when her grandmothers face lit up when she heard it. The library always amped up the jingle for her grandmother as she got older and her hearing got worse. So, Mara would keep ear plugs in as a little girl.

It took about seventeen minutes for Mara to hear the bell ring. Mara shot out of her seat and bookmarked her page. When she went to welcome the patron, the library seemed to not want her to. It shifted creating an intricate maze of bookshelves blocking her from greeting the patron.

Mara stomped her boot scolding under her breath “Lib!”

The bookshelves didn’t budge.

(Y/n) weaved through the maze finally making it to the door, to see no one.

She clenched her fists at the library, by now it would seem the Patron was wandering the library.

The library calmed down as she went back to her desk to find the floor plan of the library. It seemed the library was up to its mischievous ways again however she was ready with an enchanted map that could spot anyone in the library's location.

She saw the customer in the ‘beast, creatures and everything in between’ section. It seems they stopped and were staying their for the time being.

(Y/N) squeezed through the library’s shelves, it was keeping up its shenanigans and not letting her through.

Once she was through for some reason (Y/N) grew nervous approaching the patron whose back was to her. A very broad and handsome back at that. His focus was into a book she was familiar with ‘Lycanthropy.’

In her Library was a werewolf. A very large and handsome one at that.

Mara walked up to the wolf greeting him like any other patron. “Welcome, do you need help finding a book, sir?”

The wolf jumped and turned around knocking his elbow into the bookshelf.

As his eyes looked into hers they widened into saucers. He froze with a hand on his elbow.

Mara laughed and asked “are you all right? These shelves are pretty hard.”

Just as she said that Lib dropped a book on his head. A very big encyclopedia.

“Ow.”

The werewolf rubbed his head. Mara winced and hovered her hands over him. “I’m so sorry, why don’t we head to my desk and I can get you some ice.”

Mara wondered how an encyclopedia ended up in the beast creatures and every in between section.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Mara blushed at the voice she thought sounded like honey. She lead him to her desk and walked to the back struggling with her kitchen freezer as it wouldn't budge.

After a while she came back with a back of ice wrapped in a paper towel.

“Here, I’m so sorry, that's really never happened before, that book wasn’t even in the right section.”

“Its all right, my pain disappeared when I saw beautiful your face.” He cockily grinned holding the bag of ice on his head. To Mara he looked ridiculous but she couldn't help but blush harder.

Now that she got a good look of him, she could see his curly black hair, deep blue eyes, and a gorgeous pair of hands. He looked exactly like what she pictured a royal guard to look like. She heard rumors about the handsomeness those guards possessed.

He didn't have the normal burly bulky werewolf look. He looked half werewolf half Fae to Mara.

The man put his elbows on the desk looking at Mara across from him with a dopey smile.

Mara quickly got her shit together, her grandmother would scold her for acting like this with a boy or even talking with a boy.

“So what exactly were you looking for or were you just browsing?”

“Well.......my sister seems to love it here, she talks about this little bookstore and its most intelligent librarian. I came to see what the fuss was about. Now that I’ve come myself. I see how beautiful this librarian is.”

Mara almost melted.

“your sister.?”

Mara tilted her head quizzically. Was he talking about Miss Price?

“yeah, Leona, I always wondered where she wandered of to.”

He let out a small smile when he talked about Leona, and Mara scolded her self for what seemed the hundredth time because of the butterflies she felt.

“Miss Leona is the wandering type.” He laughed at that.

“So Ms. Librarian, may I have the honor of knowing your name?”

“Oh of course its....um...Mara. Now may I have the honor of knowing yours?” Mara smirked gaining a hint of confidence and getting control back from his spell.

“Luka, nice to meet you Mara.”

“you as well.” she curtsied playfully.

Both of them laughed playfully. 

“Prince!!!!” A sudden voice came running to Luka. Once in front of him he pointed to Luka full of rage. “You and your sister are one in the same, your highness.”

Luka glared at the man who abruptly entered the library. 

“Damnit.” Luka mumbled under his breath. 

The voice ‘Quin’ bowed to Mara. “I'm very sorry to interrupt your day but the Prince must be leaving now.”

“Prince?” Mara said quizzically.

Luka, winced as she said that. He knew how people reacted when they see royalty he was ready to leave getting up from his spot on the other side of the desk.

What he didn't expect was Mara to Belly laugh in front of him and his future attendant Beta.

They both looked at her with quizzical looks.

“You?!” she asked dumbfounded wiping tears from her eyes.

Quin began to scold Mara but was held back by Luka. “What's funny?” he asked.

“I'm sorry its just, I've read and heard things about you, and from the royalty my family has met you are a pleasant surprise.”

“Thanks? I guess...what do you mean about Royalty you've met?” 

Mara walked over to a bookshelf behind her grabbing a heavy looking  book. She placed it on the desk in front of her. She flipped through it and rotated it toward the two men. She pointed to a picture. 

“My father?” Luka asked. He was surprised at the picture. Not only was his father in the library in the picture but he was at least 20 years younger looking through a book with his mother. 

“Mother?” He said gripping the edges of the book tightly. Mara then flipped to pages before. She showed him all the royalty that came to this library. 

“My grandmother told me about the King, he was always bringing the queen to the library after visiting the village. They came to ask my grandmothers advice on many occasion.”

Luka looked toward Mara who looked affectionately at a picture of her grandmother.

Mara finally flipped to the last pages of the book. She came pointed to a picture and tapped twice. A little boy and girl sat on the floor thighs touching, a book laid across their legs. Whereas the girl marveled at the pages, and pointed with a smile, the boy was looking at her with a wide grin. 

“We’ve met before Luka.”