#his ass does NOT have a licence

[dr4yc0nic]

Peepaw where are you going. Where are you driving.

[lemmetreatya]

driving instructor!nanami who knows as soon as you step into his car, that you’re going to fail.

with your hot pink acrylics that click, clack against the wheel, your mini skirt that just about covers the round of your ass and the see-through mesh top you hone that you wear absolutely no solid material underneath. with driving instructor!nanami knows he shouldn’t look but he can’t help his eyes that glance towards your perked nipples that are clearly begging for attention.

and the thing is, it’s not like driving instructor!nanami wants to fail you, but he does have his doubts when you ask him if you can finish the test early because you have “a more important function to attend to.”

But alas, driving instructor!nanami let’s you take your test. and despite his misconception, you’re not a bad driver. you end the course with no major faults but you just about have one-too-many minors and sadly he has to fail you.

“what?! only one minor over the threshold?!”

your glossed pout is adorable and driving instructor!nanami hates that you look you’re about to cry — especially since he’s the one who’s caused your sadness.

but its when you ask if there’s really nothing you could do then and there to make things right or fix the mishap, that driving instructor!nanami suddenly has a change of heart and mentions how maybe there is something you could do to maybe fix it.

driving instructor!nanami is absolutely mesmerised by how your breast bounce in his face, your pathetic little whines of “i can’t do it, i can’t, i can’t!” as you struggle to ride his heavy cock in the back seat.

he bunches your now pleatless skirt in his hands as he grasps at the fat of your ass, swishing his fingers inside your puckered hole as he chants back “yes you can” with the utmost lack of remorse.

the double penetration is so overstimulating that you squirt a messy spray of wet juice all over driving instructor!nanami’s dick, his tan coloured trousers and back car seat darkening in colour. driving instructor!nanami moans loudly into your ears as he pulls out and cums just over your moist pussy lips. he makes sure to tap the head of his cock over the steady stream of liquid that pours from your sex.

“you think im gonna let you pass after you just spoilt my car?”

you whimper at his sign of possible denial of passing, your mind still hazy from your shocking orgasm. on impulse, your hand comes down to languidly stroke at driving instructor!nanami’s dick. as if it wasn’t wet enough from both of your cums, you swaddle a bout of saliva in your mouth before dribbling it down over his curved and semi hard cock.

as a string of spit still dangles from your chin and lips, you give driving instructor!nanami a teary eyed yet manipulative look.

“please.” you whisper.

it’s safe to say that on that day, you gained your driver’s licence.

[witchthewriter]

𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐒𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐑𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐊𝐨̈𝐧𝐢𝐠

⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!  

a/n: not a poly relationship - I just decided to have them both in one post. Let me know if you want more xx Also I went through the tags for these guys and there is nothing but SMUT. So I wanted some sweet sfw headcanons for the boys

Warnings: swearing, nsfw included (no one under 18 please).

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ | ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ ᴵᴵ

𝑺𝑭𝑾🌿

INTJ

Ravenclaw

Neutral Good

Scorpio Sun, Capricorn Moon, Virgo Rising

𝐒𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐑𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐲/𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭

・This man is fucking dangerous behind the wheel. And although he is a hot-head occasionally, it isn't when he's driving.

・Simon knows he's shit, so when people honk at him, give him the finger - he just stone-faces it. Let's them berate him because really, he doesn't fucking care.

・However he has lost his licence a few times ... and so you told him he could be your &lt;3 passenger princess <3

・Simon wasn't amused ...

・Very much the protective type, verging on possessive. Not in an abusive way, but he wants everyone to know that you're his. So when anyone flirts with you - or even when they're a little too nice, his jealousy consumes him.

・Scary dog privledges, with and without the mask. This man is intimidating as fuck.

・6'4, wide shoulders and big hands, so it doesn't matter how you look, how tall you are etc - Simon is bigger, taller and stronger.

・Yes he can be a hardass, but when he loves someone, that roughness is somewhat smoothened out. He'd hate to hurt your feelings.

・He only wears his mask to hide his identity; he takes it off when missions are done.

・And when he's home, he rarely wears it.

・Absolutely HATES being jump-scared. And his reflexes take over (you've learnt from the first and last time)

・This goes with random kisses as well, sometimes you just have to make yourself known before touching Simon

・He isn't huge into PDA, but when outside he will gladly hold your hand, bump his shoulder into yours when you make a crappy dad joke.

・The biggest misconception is that he's cold. Well, at work - obviously he is. But at home, with you, he has so much warmth. A lot of life.

・He has great banter. Absolutely has both of you laughing your asses off.

・Calls you "love," "sweetheart," (all in his gruff, chiselled brit accent). And when you're alone, he calls you names like "my love," "hun," "sweet cheeks."

・You're slowly learning about Simon's past, which he shares little by little.

・Too much information and he's scared you might feel overwhelmed and leave him

・There's some deep trauma there, but the army has therapists and everyone gets checked out before they're deemed mentally healthy enough.

・He does want kids, but only after he's done with the military. He would hate to be an absent father in any way. And he wouldn't want you to have that full responsibility.

・A lot of people characterise him as this traumatised man who can barely look after himself. But that is far, faaaaar from the truth. He's very competent. And he eats a LOT. But he also works out (to keep in shape, he actually hates the gym) (also he doesn't expect you to do anything of that stuff. He loves you for you.)

・I also have this headcanon that Ghost/Riley would love Metallica, Slipknot, Black Sabbath etc. It's one of the things that calm him down. However, if he's had an overwhelming day, he needs no noise whatsoever.

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

Teases Them (You) x About To End Them (Ghost)

The Moon and His Star

𝑹𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Opposites Attract

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

Say Yes To Heaven by Lana Del Rey

Arsonist's Lullabye by Hozier

Enter Sandman by Metallica

𝑁𝑆𝐹𝑊 🔞 No one under the age of 18 past this point, I bloody mean it. 

・There's almost like two sides of your s/o. The Ghost side, where the mask stays on, and he's rough, possessive, dominant. And then the Simon side, where he likes soft touches and when you gently stroke his face

・You've both discovered that Simon likes it when you wear his mask, gloves - nothing else - and touch yourself.

・Even with your cum juices on the mask, and gloves, he'll still wear them to work.

・It's the only kinky thing he brings with him while on deployment. You did want to take a naked polaroid for him but he didn't trust the other guys not to somehow see it.

・He likes keeping you as separate from army life as much as possible. Because you feel like home, and it gives him hope.

・Ghost loves taming your bratty side. He's short, demanding and can shut you up with one look.

"Keep on actin' like that, and see what happens."

・Of course you keep acting up, and when you get home, you pay for it tenfold.

・Ghost's hands are as big as a paddle, and when he has you over his knee, ass up in the air. He doesn't hesitate in leaving red marks (all consensual. He wouldn't do anything without having a conversation before hand).

𝑺𝑭𝑾🌿

ISTP

Hufflepuff

Chaotic Good

Aries Sun, Aquarius Moon, Leo Rising

𝐊𝐨̈𝐧𝐢𝐠

・A 6'10 king, who suffers from social anxiety but has this soft, silly side that he loves showing you and only you (I will take no criticisms on his height. It is LAW. My law.)

・Because of his anxiety, social aspects of life are much harder than work. He's highly skilled in combat, and has a lot of confidence in his abilities to accomplish missions.

・However, when you tried to speak to him, all he could do was stutter.

・You allowed him to get the words out, but he was an absolute mess afterwards and went to go train.

・But this didn't deter you in the slightest. Hell, you had been trying to muster the courage to speak to him for weeks...

・It took a while for Konig to open up about his past, especially his adolescence.

・He's told you the jist of it, but there's details that you don't push him on.

・One of your favourite pastimes together is going to bakeries and eating the most delicious pastries.

・When you're feeling down, or there's something to celebrate, there's no cake but pastries instead

・Doesn't mind animals, but understands that when he's away you will get a bit lonely. So you surprised him by getting a pair of kittens!

・You showed him over video chat, one white kitten and one black.

"I haven't chosen names for them yet, but I thought maybe you could have some input?"

"Schatz! The kittens are cute but you have scratch marks all over your arms!"

"They're very playful!" And then you leant closer to the camera and whispered, "I leave scratches on your back ..." And with an innocent look on your face, you watched as Konig shivered.

・Likes to put you on his lap when he's cleaning weapons, or getting the marks out of his mask or shoes. Okay honestly, he just wants you on his lap all the time. Whatever excuse he can come up with - he'll goddamn use it

・Absolutely loves Kate Bush and Stevie Nicks. He thinks they have such a beautiful sound that you can find him with headphones on, swaying in the bedroom, silently in his feels

・All your pet names are in Austrian/German:

"Schatz", meaning 'treasure'.

"Maus," meaning 'mouse.'

"Liebling" meaning 'darling.'

"Hase" meaning 'bunny'.

"Liebe" meaning 'love.'

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

Always Bringing Them Rocks They Think They Would Like (You) x Keeps The Rocks (Konig)

The Gomez & Morticia Adams

I Don’t Know What I’m Doing But At Least I’m Alive, Right? (You) x You’re Doing Great, Sweetie (Konig)

𝑹𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Hidden Identity & Forced Proximity

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush

The Chain by Stevie Nicks

Dance of the Druids by Bear McCreary (he loves movie scores as well. It's one of his fascinations).

𝑁𝑆𝐹𝑊 🔞 No one under the age of 18 past this point, makes me feel weird if you read it.

・Konig is a bit awkward at first with the sexual interactions you guys have. He does have anxiety, but also, the build up of sexual tension had been going on for months.

・All he had during that time was his hands and the memories of how you looked, the way your eyes met his then flicked downward - almost like you had x-ray vision.

・There was no denying the heat.

・So when you first hooked up it was a fumbling mess of grunting, clothes ripping and fast hands trying to touch and grab at any bare piece of flesh.

・You did have a shocking revelation that first time however. Because this man's cock is not only thick, veiny but nearly 9 inches when he's hard.

・That first time wasn't a true first time as the look on your face told Konig everything - you weren't ready for that part of him ... just yet.

・Loves when you ride his thigh; they're absolutely huge. Just muscled and bulky and the first time you saw them (without the uniform) you audibly gasped.

・His body is absolutely divine

・Like it had been sculpted by the gods. Large biceps, long legs, small waist, large shoulders. His hands wrap your neck perfectly.

・You feel so safe with him.

・And you have to remind him that, because sometimes he worries he could hurt you without meaning to.

"I'm a grown up, Konig. I can handle myself."

"So when are you going to let me fuck you?"

"mmm... I think I still have to get used to that. Maybe we can do fingers first..." (his fingers are ... fucking huge).

[snowwybear]

𝗣𝗢𝗩: 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗲𝗿 | 𝘃𝗼𝗹 𝗩𝗜

Warnings: fluff

𝟏.

𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱?

Vinnie.

Compared to you, Vinnie is a heavy sleepier. While it may take a while for him to settle down once he’s out, he’s out. Most of the time he doesn’t make noises in his sleep, however when he’s really tired he falls asleep on his back. And that’s when the noises start. It’s nothing too bad, he snores a little and mumbles in his sleep which can be a little distracting when you’re trying to fall asleep. As long as you’re by his side Vinnie can sleep without trouble. He is so used to your presence that when you’re not with him it makes it harder for him to fall asleep (especially for long periods of time). If you wake up in the middle of the night, a few minutes later Vinnie is bound to wake up and look for you.

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

𝟐.

𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘷𝘦?

It depends on the situation.

The two of you can be equally possessive and jealous over one another. At parties you tend to be more possessive, a lot of girls either don’t know or disregard the that fact Vinnie is in a relationship. You’re just scared that something might happen and you try to prevent that from happening. You’ll either walk up to Vinnie overly flirting, faulting yourself in front of whoever dares flirt with your boyfriend, or you walk away and avoid him for the rest of the night until he’s chasing after you. There have been times where you have just up and left the party because of how sick you are with people being all over your boyfriend. You always text him to let him know you’ve left, but by the time Vinnie reads it he’s already panicking looking everywhere for you.

Vinnie on the other hand is possessive and jealous on like a day to day situation. Some guy is making you laugh a little too much, possessive. Some guy has been leaving thirsty comments on your socials, possessive. Guys are ogling you for a bit too long, possessive. When he is possessive over you he has this tough guy persona (which you just laugh at). His arms a crossed, showing off his tattoos and he has this scowl on his face. He may say a few petty things to the other person, but never enough to start a fight. He doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable or want you to think he being controlling over you.

Both you never verbally express your possessiveness, you only show it through your body language. At the end of the day, if something goes too far you both are able to come together a talk things out, reassuring each other that you love each other and only want one another.

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

𝟑.

𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳?

Vinnie, he literally doesn’t let you drive.

You are Vinnie’s passenger princess. Don’t have your drivers licence yet? Don’t worry babe Vinnie’s got you. This man literally doesn’t let you drive. You want to go somewhere, Vinnie will take you. You need to get picked up, Vinnie’s already on his way. You need to drive around in the middle of the night because you can’t sleep, Vinnie will gladly get in at the crack of dawn and help you. Vinnie does genuinely get quite upset and annoyed if you don’t ask him.

Vinnie loves having you in his car, he loves places his hand on your thigh with he driving, holding you hand on top of the gear shift, he just loves your presence in the car. Vinnie also has things all around his car just in case you need them. Little snacks, makeup wipes, extra tampons or pads, whatever you might need he has stashed in his car somewhere. If he’s driving with other people in the car, you’re only allowed in the front seat no one else. Vinnie loves his cars so having a hot ass car and having your fine ass sitting in said car is a win win for him.

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

I’m slowly running out of ideas, someone please help 😭

In case you made it this far, my requests are open if anybody has anything. ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

[moriitis]

☠ Toby Rogers/'Ticci Toby' HCs ☠ this is just how I personally perceive him !! it's different for everyone! TWs; drugs, violence, memory loss

Toby mostly relies on drugs to help his mind and physical being. He wouldn't touch anything hardcore, some weed here and there. Being mellowed out is the only way he can really sleep due to the fact that he is an insomniac.

Doesn't remember any of his trauma. None of it at all. He knows he lost his sister and he knows he lost his dad, but in regards to how he couldn't really tell you. As for the abuse, he remembers little to nothing but as a response, his body still reacts to the things that he was exposed to as a child. (Flinches a lot for example at sudden movements.)

He has a pretty cold persona to people he doesn't know, putting up a brick wall to protect himself. It would take awhile for him to open up but deep down he's soft and goofy. He loves to make people laugh and enjoys their company however with strangers he is quiet and reserved.

His mother was German and her family remained in Germany while she decided to move to the US. Toby can speak fluently but as he got older, it became more broken as he didn't have any reason to speak it. As a child, he visited his family a lot in Germany and had a close relationship with his Grandma. He doesn't even remember her now.

He doesn't have a drivers licence but owns a car. The most reckless driver ever. Drove a motorbike once and fell off, finding it hilarious. He would do it again at some point for sure.

Got a matching tattoo with someone once (a literal stranger.)

When his hair is really messy or too long, he'll mostly bear a baseball cap to hide it. Dude gets the worst bed hair ever.

He's a pretty amazing artist.

A heavy smoker.

Also very impulsive.

Owns an IPhone and two flip phones that he mostly uses as burners. His IPhone is smashed to pieces but still manages to keep his Duolingo streak. (He has a 200 day streak.)

His favourite weather is rain and snow.

Owns a Nintendo Switch and plays Mario religiously. Would probably own a gaming console if he wasn't living in his truck.

Very underestimated, used to be a pretty weak proxy but he's earned his 'ranking' so to say. A lot of people underestimate how smart he really is.

Will play mind games with his victims to drive them in complete hysteria. He'll stalk you, putting you on edge and making you feel uncomfortable. Seeing his victims slowly lose their mind is all part of the fun. He'll break into your house, steal belongings, take pictures of you sleeping and send them to you from an unknown number. He'll call you on a specific time, every day on the dot, just to breathe down the phone. Then he'll just drop it all to make you feel at ease, giving you a break to feel a sense of comfort again before he suddenly swoops in for the attack, catching you off guard.

TOBY IS NOT AN ABUSER. HOWEVER, he has his fathers rage. Toby will say things in the heat of the moment. He can be spiteful, hurtful and downright nasty. Things will come out without his acknowledgement and he will shout a lot. But he will later feel an insane amount of guilt and he will cry a lot as a result of it.

Toby was manipulated into working for Slenderman but the urge to kill was always in the back of his mind. Slenderman is NOT a care giver nor does he protect any of the proxies. Toby is completely brainwashed into looking up to Slenderman like he is some kind of God.

He genuinely thinks and believes Slenderman saved his life and changed it for the better and now Toby will worship him in a very sick and twisted way. He is essentially a slave and will work his ass off for him just to not even be acknowledged by Slender.

Always has some kind of stubble on his chin and upper lip.

Bruises really easily.

He is a really good thief, something he trained himself to become good at due to always being on the run.

Will, without a doubt, laugh at children that fall over in front of him. Dude will POINT and laugh, he's an asshole.

Very competitive and hates the idea of losing.

Really good at playing on an electric guitar, can shred that mofo.

Considered shaving all his hair off once because 'he has free will.'

Just wanted to throw my headcanons about Toby here, I have a lot about the life of being a proxy and the 'rankings' and so. Maybe I'll write about that at some point. Remember these are just my personal HCs and they are NOT canon! HCs are different for everyone, this is just how I view Toby personally. Requests are open BTW! PLSS give me suggestions ☽

[xixovart]

mali’s hcs for aquaman’s doppelgänger i think (percy. it’s percy.)

love my og homie

i'm coming in hard and strong (that's what she said) and saying that percy would NOT love taylor swift!!!! percy is an edgy teenage SKATER BOY!!!!!! he listens to d4vd tame impala childish gambino arctic monkeys and the neighbourhood!!!!! stop the percy swiftie allegations!!!

i know this is basically canon in the show but percy, like nico, was an absolute pain in the ass for sally. this kid would draw all over. everything. do not give a six year old percy a marker he will draw on your fancy white couch. or eat it. could be either.

sally having to fight for her LIFE to get a nine year old percy to wake up for school. “mom i can't go to school im sick” “you just accidentally kicked me in the face with the strength of a motivated horse you liar”

honestly she was so done with his bs. 5th grade for percy was an ERA.

“percy no you cannot put your hand in a blender.” 

“percy we do not eat rocks.”

“percy get up from the floor, we are at the supermarket. no you cannot have a fruit roll up.”

“percy it’s three in the morning why would you want to go to the zoo.” “to see the penguins ☹️”

korra coded

reminder that he’s canonically a skater i’ll never get over this.

he loves band shirts and has a bunch of posters all around his dorm

i think he likes the rain, even though it’s zeus’ domain. it just calms him down. (im projecting)

reminder that percy isn’t dumb he’s just chaotic

percabeth skating dates i'm hyperventilating 

he really hated third grade. when asked about it he will say “the chaos and the mind games…” and not elaborate 

percy “grover is my wife” jackson

percy was actually pretty quiet in school. he wasn’t usually a class clown, he’s just the quiet disabled kid who got crappy grades (and was absolutely stunning i should mention)

captain of the school swim team <3

really likes 7/11??? for some reason?

the second he got his licence (and a car) he would nEVER stop driving. after tartarus, he would space out and disassociate, and he often had panic attacks. driving with no destination helps him calm down.  (IM PROJECTING)

estelle absolutely adores her brother. like never leaves his side. she would cling to his leg whenever he had to leave and she would BEG to come along whenever percy and annabeth went on a date

he eats a LOT. like so much.

he got used to using military time after his training with lupa and his time at camp jupiter :)

“you are just a boy, you are no man, and nobody you know will understand.” except it’s about percy in the original series, who was so heavily relied on to be a hero that he lost his sense of self. we as a fandom joke about this so much but percy lost his innocence for the people who ruined his and his loved ones’ lives. he sacrificed his humanity because of the gods’ blatant abuse and ignorance of their children. he is a child for the entirety of the original series, a child who has gone through so much and so rarely gets a break. even when he’s in school, when he’s not at camp and doesn’t have to worry about olympus, he still fucking does. he still never rests easily because the world’s fate hinges on HIM. not zeus, not his father, him. the scene with atlas was so significant because it represents so much. in a literal sense, percy, annabeth, and luke—the three who carried atlas’ burden—had the fate of the world on their shoulders. one shrug and the world could collapse. what most of the fandom fails to see is that the second percy was claimed, his childhood ended.

[strawberrycarat]

Another rant about this episode... I understand that producers can use the "Fire & Blood is a historical novel type so it's not 100% accurate and we can do a lot of stuff with it...." but, come on ! Even Joffrey said Rhaenyra's rests were still down in the red keep. It's clearly they can't fight against the fact that there are actual human remains that are half bitten / half burned by a fucking dragon - so it doesn't make sense that they killed Sunfyre (for all we know he's dead) or that Daemon is still playing in Luigi's mansion with lord Strong instead of bending knees of half the Riverlands and leading small fights for Rhaenyra... as much as we can't know for sure all those details, we know a war happened in real life even if we don't know the specifics - there are records, bodys, graves... Idk... and it should be the same in Westeros...

Producer's creative licence is making the story going so far from the book it's senseless at times + slow in moments that don't help the plot and are somewhat boring + showing preferences for certain actors whose storyline doesn't help the plot in this moment (which is not their fault) + and, worst of all, painfully fast and (sometimes) ridiculous in the most important moments (Exemple : Jace and Cregan’s oath that leads the North going South to end the Dance of the Dragons + the ice and fire pact that leads the prince that was promised + the fight against the darkness and the Others??? But no, let’s give them 3 min of screen time and make Jace leave immediately)

It is true they don't need to show a full ass battle to be interesting, like GoT did in the first seasons. But they at least had a good rhythm, a coherent narrative and plot twists that were actually surprising and logical with the characters and the story at the same time. In here, I think they are just using those "OMG or WTF" moments without thinking about the plot

Exemple -> Cersei and Jamie being discovered by Bran and him being thrown away from the tower? Made sense with Jamie and Cersei's personalities + they couldn't being discovered or Robert would have their heads and their children's, probably - and it was one of the detonating for the Three-eyed raven plot

-> Daemon having sex with his (I can't believe I'm writing this, even if it was an hallucination) mother???? like why???? what does this help to Daemon's storyline? If he had mommy issues, why is this the first time we see it? I can see Aemond having mommy issues in the way his own mother was distant and believe him some sort of monster AFTER Luke's death (kinslayer -> a terrible sin in the Seven's eyes - the religion she follows with passion) and him seeking out an older woman that had some motherly characteristics and with similar hair than her mother + then keeping Alys Rivers (a wet nurse) when conquering Harrenhall is logical to his storyline... but Daemon??? It seemed more like a "let's have a plot twist just for fun and surprise people" kind of thing)

And even when they want to create plot twist that could work in the plot they don't make them really a plot twist....... Like when they wanted to end Cheese and Blood with Alicent and Criston's sex scene. It would've worked........ if they didn't had already show us Criston Cole going down on Alicent in the middle of the episode. WE ALREADY KNEW ! like why ending with that in the episode anyways when there was no surprise - not anymore ?

honestly I don't know how can they save it now - I'm kind of only watching it for Ewan mitchell / Aemond + the acting in general

Anyways, thank you for reading, I needed to let it out.

[rapha-reads]

Things from Interview With The Vampire s02e04 (ep11) I noticed:

[Edit 1: Actually this turned into a live-commenting, sorry]

[Edit 2: Keep in mind, I haven't read the books, so all of these observations are born from the show itself and the few (lots of) spoilers and narrative plot points I've gleaned here and there.]

Both Claudia and Louis are so bored with the coven. Or maybe bored isn't the word, but... Done? Frustrated and annoyed? Restless? Louis because he never intended to join and so cares not all for all their internal affairs. Claudia because she thought she'd finally have the life she wanted and instead is being forced to relive the tragedy of her life day after day.

And Armand rejoices in drawing them further apart, scolding and punishing Claudia while begging scraps from Louis.

And he's soooo jealous. The face he makes when Louis starts explaining what Dreamstat feels like is priceless.

Also, personal theory: either Louis is indeed suffering psychotic breaks after psychotic breaks, or just manifesting his own version of Lestat because he doesn't want to let go. Or Lestat can astral project and has been stalking Louis from the moment they left New Orleans.

The coven is tearing itself apart. And normally I'd add "and Armand isn't even seeing it/taking it seriously yet" but given that the whole of them are unreliable narrators and that Armand is a shady ass bitch whose only agenda is himself, I'd say he's well aware and purposefully making it worse.

I can't make sense of Santiago yet, though. Is he jealous? Ambitious? Is he fond of Claudia? Does he hate her? He definitely hates Louis, but is it just jealousy or real antipathy? Oh, but Louis is still my precious special kitten and that speech about Paris, art and modernity, as a contemporary culture student, made me vibrate a little out of my chair, and Santiago clowning him makes me want to claw his face. We get it, you hate him and you think he's pretentious, now can you shut up and let us talk a bit more about the art scene in Paris post-WW2 and why Louis is absolutely right, Picasso isn't all that impressive in the end? Thanks. Bacon tho, Bacon is interesting. My contemporary art teacher last year was excruciatingly boring, but he had a boner for both Louise Bourgeois and Bacon and we spent several hours on them (and not nearly enough about Mapplethorne, alas). Anyway. I feel ya, Lou. I have been called pretentious too for simply getting excited about art, culture and folkore.

I'm rooting for Louis and Claudia to kill them all off and run away to Italy. I know it won't happen, but one can dream, eh.

Is Armand messing up with both Daniel by getting into his mind and Louis by switching the photos? Interesting. Two people who have a shitton of issues stuck with a sadistic, insecure and bitter control freak who's been pulling the threads since way before anyone realises. And Louis is so lost in his trauma and grief and anger, he trusts Armand and doesn't see what's happening and been happening to him for 70 years, while Daniel is just a sad, sick old man who thinks he knows his life and what his future entails. Armand is definitely having fun.

"Je n'aime pas fenêtre quand fermée" is NOT FRENCH, MY EARS. I will be picky, I don't care for artistic licence. Correct sentence would be "je n'aime pas les fenêtres quand elles sont fermées". Admittedly, if it goes into a song, you'd have to respect the length of the line and all those musical measures. But still. You could shorten the numbers of syllables by dropping the language register: "j'aime pas les f'nêtres quand elles sont fermées" ; from 12 or 13 to 9, the original line being 8 or 9. Depending on whether you say "je-n'ai-me-pas" or "je-n'aim-pas" and "fe-nê-tres" or "fe-nêtres". Anyway. I'm sure the writers had those discussions (I hope; hey, AMC, hire me, I'm a good proofreader and I speak 5 languages).

Me: oh, Louis isn't even bothering now, he's directly talking to... Wait, is Lestat eating that photo? If it's Dreamstat: the hell is going on in your head, Louis? If it's Astral Lestat: that is certainly a choice, my friend.

"Barely Balthasar", LMAO, Lestat I fucking love you. Poor Balthasar always gets forgotten in adaptations. Nope, we're not here to talk R&J, moving on.

Armand: "this is my tragic backstory. Feel pity for me. I'm the good guy." Me: yeaaah, how much of this is actually real? And, uh, no, like Lestat said: ha! You're a storyteller and a conman, Armand. You weave your story to pluck at the heart's threads of your audience, modulating it to their sensibilities to better serve your own interests and your plans. What are those interests, these plans? Hell if I know. But I absolutely do not trust you at all.

HANDS OFF CLAUDIA OR I'LL BITE

"The wilderness that is our daughter" have I said lately how much I love Lestat.

Oh, hello, the Loustat scene on the bench just broke my heart, which is funny if you consider that that's just Louis breaking up with himself. Also, do we consider Louis knew about the initials in the pocket, and Dreamstat is saying what Louis wants him to say, or is it another unreliable narrator Louis, or is it Lestat himself...?

Aw, going from the Loumand scene on the bench to "toxic gay divorce with body count" sure is a tonal shift. Lmao. You're losing your touch, Armand. Louis' awakening. Daniel's awakening... San Francisco next, that will be fun. Excited to see how they've changed that part, knowing it's the red thread of the first book.

...

Oooh, that got long. Apologies. I really need to sit and read those books.

[ebbpup]

i love overthinking meaningless jokes like in tdos when spoon steals evil computers car keys and wallet. im not questioning spoon's actions or how she did it, thats just spoon. I'm wondering how EC got car keys. that implies he has a car when did bro have time to get a car. his ass def does not have a licence get that man off the road he doesnt even have his learners.

[the-ace-with-spades]

(I don't have the energy to make some cover tiles for this chapter but here it is for the people who read it on tumblr)

5 times Jake crossed paths with Fire Lieutenant Bradshaw and 1 time he met Maverick's son

Part Four | read on ao3

The Officer's Son | 1.6k

Jake is walking down the corridor, steps fast — he’s already late to the pre-flight briefing and Maverick seems laid back but he’s sure even he had limits.

He is marching through the whole building, passing an intersecting corridor and does a double take when he glances to the right. He is sure he’s imagined him, but he still stops mid-step and turns back around, takes a deep breath and he swears he hears Javy’s voice as he struts to his goal, suddenly disinterested in impressing Maverick. Act normal.

Because Bradshaw is standing in the middle of a corridor of NAS North Island.

If this ain’t fate, he doesn’t know what is.

“Didn’t know we had a fire inspection today,” he speaks out and instantly wants to hit his head on the nearby wall.

“Lieutenant,” he says only and then quirks an eyebrow at him, looking at the patch over his heart.  “Or should I say Hangman?”

Bradshaw puts his hand on his hip, cocking it to the side, and Jake bits down on his tongue.

He is wearing the uniform, that’s how Jake’s attention got caught in the first place, the dark blue pants and button up long-sleeved shirt. His broad shoulders are perfectly shaped in the tight fabric, straining to be confined, and the front where the buttons are is so form-fitting Jake could trace his abs with his fingertips.

His ass, finally clearly visible, is nice and round, and he bet he’d fit in Jake’s palm perfectly. The turnouts were sexy but god, he definitely prefers Bradshaw like this — coated in the uniform, buttons fighting on his chest, the SDFD patch on his huge bicep, and B. BRADSHAW in a bright white thread stretched out on his chest.

“Just Jake, for you,” he remarks, sending him a wink.

“Thought it was Jacob,” he says, eyes sparkling innocently, and mentally, Jake swears — he probably knows his middle name, too, just because he saw his driving licence. He needs to make him forget, somehow. “No inspections planned. That’s not my department, anyway.”

“Don’t know about that, you can inspect me any day,” he says and it’s cheesy and not his best shot but Bradshaw is smiling, the apples of his cheeks rounding up as he bites down on his lip.

Sounding amused, he asks, “Has that ever worked for you?”

“I don’t meet that many firefighters — you tell me,” he says as he takes a step closer. He needs to lift his chin to look him in the eyes but it’s so worth it.

The sun from outside, where the planes are standing in neat rows, shines through the window wall, and turns Bradhshaw’s eyes into dark amber, sprinkles of gold shining. He looks at Bradley and he locks their gazes, eyebrows raised lazily as he gives Jake a once over — his eyes go up and down his body and Jake straightens his back, cursing how unflattering the flight suit is.

Bradshaw's gaze is unreadable and Jake feels hot in the face as he clears his throat, every move so smooth, like he's doing all with the purpose of getting Jake more flustered.

It's working, if anything, because Jake's mind is somewhere in the clouds with his jet wash.

“Not much luck then,” Bradshaw tells him, finally, turning to face the elevator, giving his a good view of his side profile, the way his jaw twitches and the curve of his nose not letting Jake look away.

The light is stuck on level three, has been for a while now. 

“It probably broke again,” he remarks, just because he doesn’t know how to keep the conversation going.

“Yeah,” Bradshaw sighs, but the soft quirk of his lips is still there. “I know this model.”

Vaguely, Jake remembers him and his crew being called to elevator rescue right after Jake asked him for his number — which, even the memory makes him cringe.  

“Thought taking the stairs would be more of your thing,” he remarks.

It's a bit cliche but Bradshaw is a firefighter after all and he's goddamn fit. Jake would gladly follow him on the way up the stairs and enjoy every step and curves that would flash in front of him as those tight navy blue pants would stretch in all the right places.

“I only have clearance to go to level four, I can’t open the stairwell."

Jake bites down on the inside of his cheek, curious who Bradshaw is going to — they don’t often have civilians on base, even rarer ones that are allowed into venturing to level four, where most of the admiralty residents. “You have an officer waiting for you?”

“My dad forgot his lunch,” he says, raising up his right arm — Jake hasn’t noticed, but he’s got a thermal bag in his hand, neatly folded between his long fingers. “I’m bringing it in.”

“A bit out of your way,” he notes — Bradshaw’s station is in the north west of San Diego. “I could escort you up.”

“I think I’ll wait.” 

At this point, Jake is sure he’s just playing hard to get. Well, two can play the game — Jake’s never had anything easy in his life so be it.

“Or I could escort you outside,” he offers, voice turning low, thumb pointing behind himself, vaguely towards the rows of jets in the window behind his back. “My jet is right there, ready to be taken for a joyride.”

He doesn't know how he'd actually manage that — he's pretty sure Maverick is laid back enough to not dishonourably discharge him on the spot but he isn't sure he's big enough of Jake's fan to fight his case with Cyclone.

Well, to hell with it.

Bradshaw puts his arm back on his hip and he must be doing it on purpose — his arm looks so huge and his chest is puffed up, like he tries to hover over Jake with all the two inches he has on him. His bicep is so big Jake just wants to drape himself all over it and then maybe get it wrapped all over himself next.

Jake takes a step closer, meeting him headfirst, the dryness of his mouth suddenly so prominent as he can't clear his throat without making a ragged sound.

“Did Nat not tell you?” Bradshaw asks.

His cheeks warm up, feeling as stupid as the moment when Tasha told him Bradshaw’s a commercial pilot in his free time. He tries to not show it — it was a dumb thing but how could he have known? — and instead pretends he doesn’t get what Bradshaw’s getting at. “Tell me what?”

“That I can fly on my own, Lieutenant,” he says, the lazy, smooth voice is back, smudging the vowels on his tongue.

“Not in a fighter jet,” he counters. “I bet you’ve never seen one up close, not to mention sit in one in action.”

The elevator opens.

Bradshaw turns to him, just a little, and shuffles closer on his feet, just a bit, enough that he can feel the warmth of his breath, before he swivels again, gracefully stepping into the elevator compartment as he says, that slow, unbothered voice penetrating Jake's lungs, “You’d be surprised."

Jake makes himself breathe again, blinking the tension out of his body. Tries to play cool, tries to cock his hips out and give him a look from behind his eyelashes, but it all feels so clumsy.

“Hey, the offer is still on. Maybe I’ll even let you pull the stick.”

Bradshaw raises an eyebrow, slowly and pointedly as he licks his lips, and swaps his visitor pass on the key panel. “Which kind?”

Bradley closes the elevator before Jake can step in.

He could catch up with him, take the stairs and meet him on level four, probably, but that is starting to sound stalkerish and obtrusive, even for Jake's asshole methods. Not to mention that he could easily run into Maverick up there or worse — into whichever senior officer that's Bradshaw's father. He doesn't remember seeing Admiral Bradshaw anywhere in the commanding list but he isn't stretching his luck when there's not much of it in the first place.

He goes to the ready room, sits down next to Javy and tries to pretend everything is alright.

Thankfully, Maverick isn’t there yet.

Javy raises his eyebrow, awaiting some explanation. 

“So,” Jake says when Javy doesn’t stop staring at him like that. “Bradshaw—”

“Your firefighter?”

“He’s not—” Javy raises his eyebrow higher. “I saw him, like, ten minutes ago.”

“On base?”

“Yeah,” he confirms, only now encoding what has happened. What he’s learned about Bradshaw. “His dad is an officer, apparently.”

“What? How do you know?”

“He was bringing lunch to someone on level four,” he explains.

Javy’s eyes widen and he whistles under his breath, looking like Jake’s situation is making his day. Amused, he remarks what Jake is mentally panicking about, “So at least senior, maybe flag officer.”

“Yeah.”

“Oof,” is all Javy adds. “Good luck.”

"It's not like I'm going to meet him again, right?" he says, but he doesn't sound so sure even to his own ears.

Javy doesn't answer anything because Maverick finally walks in and they both stand up at attention.

Maybe it's fate, after all, that he sees Bradshaw everywhere, even here, but even fate runs out of ideas at some point.

[spaceagebachelormann]

being the st. cassian chamber choir members younger sibling

pairing: st. cassian chamber choir x gn reader (platonic)

warnings: swearing and mentions of violence

a/n: inspired by a conversation @juneberrie and i had <3

masterlist

Ocean O’Connell Rosenburg

babies you

literally refers to you as “the baby” to the rest of the choir

“sorry guys i have to go pick up the baby!”

also she keeps you away from your parents at all times

makes you lunch because she knows they’ll give you a cheese sandwich made from human breast milk…

her sandwiches are normal cheese!!

anf also gives you apple juice

she loves you sm and is very overprotective, sending mischa to destroy anyone who bothers you

Noel Gruber

acts like he’s annoyed by you

(he is not, will literally kill for you and secretly loves you v much but obviously he’s never gonna tell you that)

calls you little dumbass

would switch between being nice to you and being mean

“good morning you stinky ass hoe! you look great” <3

forbids you from doing any reckless without him

ocean would definitely try to befriend you

Mischa Bachinksi

THE overprotective brother

can and will murder someone for you

upset over something? someone will be mysteriously disappearing tonight

head pats are a thing

when he walks past you best believe he’s patting your head

you sleep in the basement with him because his parents were ready for toddlers, not you two

yes you know about talia no you haven’t met her no you don’t know if she’s real

he also plans to take you back to the ukraine with him <33

Ricky Potts

you hear random star trek music and the cats musical from his room at like around 2am

invites you to watch with him

a good brother <33 looks out for you and probably gets the choir too

i don’t think hed open up to you about zolar until your like 13 or you find a notebook filled with it and force him to explain

has like a 6th sense and somehow knows when your upset

and he barged into your room like “what’s wrong and do i have to send penny after someone”

speaking of penny she LOVES you

your older sister figure

Jane Doe/Penny Lamb

the best sister ever

gives you piggy back rides

the choir will be waiting for her before rehearsals and she just has this child on her back

“uh… who’s your friend?” “this is my sibling y/n”

ricky comes over a lot so you get close with him

he can’t give you piggy back rides but he gives penny little things to give to you

she doesn’t have a licence but she takes you to get ice cream everyday

would buy you the whole stand if you asked

Constance Blackwood

helps you with hw <3

if you can’t figure something out or just give up she bribes you with sweets to make you finish it

it works every time

a movie lover and will binge watch anything with you

also gets you into a lot of fandoms

cough httyd cough

a trolls 2 fan and gives you the most SERIOUS FACE EVER when you make a pinkie promise with her

it’s actually scary

taglist: @phoneymedic @juneberrie @starlit-epiphany @presidentroarie

[artioprotection]

Jame Somerton is awful but I really wanna say the anger I feel over the flat out lies about the very actively harmful politics of JK R*wling to justify and write off concerns people have about still giving her money. Saying she actually had a very pro trans streak till recently is just flat out erasing the very real harm she pointed towards trans woman all the way back to 2016 that people have been trying to bring awareness to before she flat out said it now with the edge of spreading harmful lies about trans men. These lies are made to make people that still give her money or want to not think about her pass works implications shrug off any self reflection and also the very real pain me and other trans people feel when talking to others about the harm she does to the trans community. When I tell people that it's not ok to be buying licence Harry Pot merch and give money to a video game that lead developer abused a women because there's better things out there that doesn't directly fund the harm of my community a James Somerton ass talking points come out about "who's to really say what's goin' on" and the infantilizing of a grown woman that's asking for me and my friends to disappear not really being that bad when she's very much a hand directing englands politics.

That man does a lot of downplay to lying about the harm other queers face that aren't a gay cis man. This part showed me how much of it was just for his own benefit. He wants to not think and eat up JK garbage so he's gonna lie or believe anything that's saying it's not a big deal.

[mutsky]

long beans finale running commentary

-damn its long but we have so much plot to get through

-kao suay isnt even here anymore we can have the damn long beans

-kleur is very risa from ayaka is in love with hiroko coded

-knowing someone is betraying you and fucking them anyway is a choice

-having this argument naked is also a choice

-what is this song they licenced

-thats the palest champagne ive ever seen

-pun sib!

-thats just so much basil

-the three resignation letters 😭

-where is he staying

-oh so nab neung lied

-this happened to my buddy jin bao too

-how big is this fucking restaurant

-is that all his stuff?

-what about auto (lees character) family business

-all this for a guy whos mean to him skdnskjd

-was there no chefs beforehand?

-kleur 💖

-wait when did jj become the owner

-what exactly does plawan do?

-taste test?

-i came here to slay baby

-wait did he just start his own competing restaurant

-oh hes big mad

-ok now this is a restaurant kitchen youre defiling

-you dont understand that three months rent was paid handsomely

-the blinding ring is so stupid

-his ass is not brushing his teeth

-sailub vs getting called old

-the san school of insulting someone while proposing

cute a solid 9/10

i also love the behind the scenes at the end

[bra1nw0rmz]

*pokes you in the eyes in a very nice and kind way.* Person that made you plushie god here. (Can I have my children back? You stole dem, gimmy em back ples.) Ur pav biker au thingy I am hyperfictioning on it too much, ty for making me get the sillies from dat. Biker pav awsom. ANND BIKER LEVI ALSO IS COOL, I couldn't leave out my soggy dog core buddy.

Owwwe …… my eye

ALSO HI UM…… using this as an excuse to infodump about my biker au…………. I’m a slight nerd abt motorbikes and It’s pavlevi centred so it’s mostly about them

Levi

- Ok realistically he’d have an A1 licence due to being 18 in Europe which restricts the bikes you can ride which is LAMEEEE!!

- In Czech you have to be 24 to get an A licence, meaning you can ride whatever. But idk that feels like too much of an age jump when everyone else is the same age

- Most other places make it so you have to be 21, so I’ll just use that instead. Levi can be 21 in this au

- I mean honestly I could just get rid of the motorcycle licence tier thing all together

- It’s a modern au but cmonnnn Funger universe does not give a fuck about its youth… but eh it’s whatever

- Prefers bikes around 600-800 cc. Fast !! But not exactly death wish fast…….. I mean kinda but still

- He just likes being able to accelerate fast, he doesn’t speed too much

- The top speed he’ll go is 150-170 km/h but Pav coaxes him in races to go faster

- The type of biker that prefers to go on long drives for hourssssss

- He just likes to go on rides to clear his head :3

- Id say he’d have a Yamaha XJ900 Diversion. But I did think of a Yamaha XJ6 Diversion F too

- either way, a Yamaha fan

- I’m going with the XJ900 tho… but hey, maybe it was his first bike, got an older model for cheap and then after a while of dating Pav he got a XJ6 after persistent bugging to get a faster bike

- XJ6 is still comfy for long rides but lighter and faster… more sporty than touring (They are both sport touring bikes)

- I mean XJ6 is only like 10 km/h faster so still staying with the XJ900

- Coz the XJ900 is FAST, 900cc, a very all around good bike. XJ6 is 600cc but faster due to being lighter and more built for speed.

- And realistically he’d only have the XJ900 bc bro cannot afford 2 bikes!

- He is not made out of money and he is not selling his XJ900 !!!! it’s sentimental !!!!

- got sent to military school as a kid by his bitch ass father, so he’s a little fucked up still

- Lived in a community housing place for a while after military school as he found out his mother died and refused to move back in with his dad

- Lives in a small apartment building now

- It’s really small and Pav keeps coming over for long periods so he’s thinking of moving into a bigger place for the both of them

- Has definitely dabbled into drugs(heroin mainly) before but trying to get clean… the long rides help clear his head

- Works at a gun/hunting shop owned by August

Pav

- All his bikes are 1000cc or more bc he’s actually crazy

- Ofc only owns sport bikes, gives them all names too

- While he does go through a lot of bikes, because he crashes all the time and somehow never gets severely hurt, his go-tos are Honda or Kawasaki bikes

- His favourite and longest owned bike is the Kawasaki Ninja ZX-10R… because she was the fastest Pav owned and he has a death wish

- He named her виктория (viktoria)

- She got into a crash so she’s been sitting in Abella’s shop while Pav saves up to fix her

- Takes his side mirrors off to lane split better

- Was a squid before Levi came around (squids are people who don’t wear protective gear) but still only wears heavy protective wear on night rides when he goes super fast

- During these night rides he so takes his license plate off lmaoooo

- Averages 200-300 km/h on the rides 💀

- Does a lotta bike tricks for fun too

- Served in the military for almost a decade and a half before having to retire for an unknown reason but still getting paid (ooooo mysterious)

- Does odd jobs here and there for extra cash

- But um don’t ask where he gets all the money for his bikes !!!!! He’s super cheap in every other aspect of his life

- He’s milking randoms for their money for alcohol, food, fuel, etc lollll

- Pav has gotten kicked out of apartments a few times in which he would sleep on Daan’s couch at his bar

- the type to stare down cops and purposely speed in front of them so they chase him, always leaves them in the dust bc he drives like a maniac

- Got caught once because he didn’t realise a cop was following him and he stopped for gas

- Got out of the speeding charge by giving the cop a blowjob bc I think that’s hilarious 

- Anything to get outta spending money ig 🔥🔥🔥

- All his bikes struggle to not go over the speed limit so he has to backpack Levi when cruising around town

- Pav complains abt Levi being slow and Levi tells him to shut up lol

- purposely makes his exhausts louder than necessary because he’s definitely compensating for something

Daan

- owns a bar that motorcycle gangs frequent a ton

- It’s not even branded as a biker bar, nor is he a biker, it just naturally became one bc Daan doesn’t give a fuck about appearances and treats everyone the same

- Pav flirts with him constantly purely to try and get free drinks. Daan knows this and ignores him

- Marcoh works as the bouncer there (also a biker)

Abella

- local mechanic !!!! Pav’s go to when he can’t fix his bikes himself

- Pav will drop a completely totalled bike in her workshop and tell her to fix it and Abella will tell him to get the fuck out of her shop

- She also rides a motorcycle, I’m thinking a dirt bike of some kind?

- Definitely owns atleast a few different motorbikes though

- She’s an off road girlie at heart

Karin

- Pav smashed her side window clean off in a drive by after she didn’t let him pass her the road so she’s been trying to track him down for a while now

- just wanted to say her road rage is fucking terrible, you are scared for yours and other people’s lives if she’s behind the wheel

- still a journalist, still has anger issues

O’saa

- Owns an occult shop and rips people off with stupid card readings

- magic and stuff still exists btw, albeit heavily faded, he just overprices everything

- Marina works at the shop

- O’saa hardly even runs the shop tbh, it’s mainly Marina doing it

- He’s off doing fuck knows what

Other thoughts;

Pav has a really good poker face. And Levi is autistic so he just believes everything he says, not a single shred of doubt… and Pav is like… in awe……. He knows he’s good at lying but he’s just… Confused at how fast Levi believes him.

“Can I have a 20, I ran out of money and I need gas, I’ll pay you back.”

“ok”

“…….. this is the 6th time I’ve said that.”

“You said you’ll pay me back”

Pav feels guilty for the first time in his life so he actually does pay Levi back

Pav going on and on abt how much he hates cops (he got a speeding fine) and Daan is getting sick of it so he pulls out a photo of Pav in the military. Pav turns his head and refuses to look at it. He is like totally silent and Daan keeps on trying to get him to look at it and he just turns away more and more… Don’t ask how Daan has that photo

This is how Levi finds out Pav was in the military because Pav never says anything ever abt his life

ANYWAY THERES MORE BUT I FEEL LIKE I LOOK CRAZY RANTING ABT THIS AU SO ILL STOP

[svtcatcafe]

do NOT allow him behind the wheel !! his ass does NOT have a licence !!

[bitter-sweet-coffee]

You there, person with outrageous driving habits.

Give us your Stardew Valley driving headcanons for whoever you want tbh.

WHICH ONE OF YOU SENT THIS LMAO

okay uhhh i was gonna do all the characters but i’m tired and want to go back to fishing so here, have just the bachelors and bachelorettes

ALEX: you’d expect him to be kinda reckless, but he drives like an old person (gee, i wonder why?). his mom was a reckless driver so sometimes he thinks about driving with a bit more chutzpah, but then granny evelyn’s scowl pops back in his head and he slows down hehehehe

ELLIOT: passenger prince, cannot drive for shit. backseat drives like he can, though. if you put me in a car with him i’d drive myself off a fucking cliff

HARVEY: you’d think he’d be a good driver, right? WRONG! he overchecks his mirrors for the first 10 minutes and then proceeds to forget they exist whenever he should be checking his mirrors. signals for lanes that split organically (you can get away with not signalling for these) but then can’t merge for shit. absolute disaster. when there’s people behind him he does the speed limit but then if it’s open road he’ll do 30 over by accident. absolute menace, do not drive with him

SAM: surprisingly good driver! he just plays his music too loud and will maybe spend too much time looking over at his passengers. has never used his turn signal. irrational fear of roundabouts

SEBASTIAN: anxious driver, prefers to be a navigator and passenger prince. he is the only member of ASS with a full licence though so on the off-chance they do a roadtrip, he has to drive, and is absolutely terrified. sam and abigail call him a party pooper for being too serious and telling them to shut up when he gets on the highway because it scares him, but he means well. (NOTE: you said driving, not riding. he is fearless on his motorcycle but you put him in a honda civic and he starts whimpering)

SHANE: the best driver out of all the bachelors. actually knows what he’s doing, as he had to drive regularly before he moved back with marnie. the “roadtrip” when he and jas came to pelican town is a core memory for her, as he still uses a casette player for his music. she got to pick all the tapes for them to sing along to :3

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ABIGAIL: dare i say the worst driver on this list? she talks too much, knows none of the road rules, and can’t even get her G1/learner’s permit because she genuinely couldn’t care less. pierre tried to teach her so many times before giving up

EMILY: is surprisingly good at driving. the most average driver there is, sure, but compared to literally almost everyone else she’s fantastic.

HALEY: two words for you— ROAD RAGE. all her elegant composure dies behind a wheel, she is tailgaiting while everyone is already doing 30 over because you either pull over and get the fuck out of her way or prepare to be rearended. she drifts every fucking turn and is one of the only characters who can drive stick

LEAH: embarrassed that she can’t drive and pretends she can. kel actually taught her, but she doesn’t have a license. the few times she has driven, her motto was “i can’t get caught unless i get caught, so just avoid cops at all cost”

MARU: she’s very alex-coded but isn’t as much of a stickler for the rules (read as: she knows where all the speedtraps are and times every set of lights perfectly to know when to gun it past a yellow lmao)

PENNY: you might be expecting me to say she’s a nervous driver but she’s actually probably the most calm behind a wheel. she knows a lot about car repairs and has the bus manual memorized so she’s great at driving and basic mechanics! pam jokes that she has a nerdy pitcrew to always lend her a hand with a bus which penny finds embarrassing, yet endearing.