#his brain being on fire AND having a photo literally stuck in there?

[mvsic0]

does your partner REALLY love you if they don’t have a literal photo of you stuck in their brain?

[tommyspeakycap]

Please could you write one with Grealish where you’re a Chelsea fan so refuse to wear a Villa shirt with his name on, and for bants Mount gets you a Chelsea shirt with his name and Jack gets all pouty?

omg I love this idea!! gets very smutty at the end ;) enjoy!

Villa Boy

A love for Chelsea had been something you adapted and grew to into as a young girl. Your dad was never entirely sure how to bond with his only daughter and your mother told him just to include you in what he loved. And so came your season pass with a little lanyard that still hung proudly in your childhood room right next to a shirt mounted in a glass photo frame with Frank Lampard's signature scrawled along the eight on the back.

It was actually how you met Jack in the first place, which is the only one single reason that he has for liking your club affiliation. Otherwise, it was one of the most annoying things in his world. It was often a source of teasing and taunting, you saying your team was better than his and him swaggering home and gloating for weeks when Aston Villa take a win over Chelsea. It was the bane of his life that he couldn't get you into that claret and blue. Not even to sleep in or wear around the house, you just would not dare put it on.

"I would feel my dad's shame emanate through the walls, maybe it would kill him. And then I'd lose every morsel of self respect I have, so not a chance." You'd snort, not even giving him a window for more persuasion.

His England shirt? that was fair game. You'd wear that with pride, to the shops, round the house, walking the dog and especially at his games but there was just absolutely no chance of getting you into his Villa shirt.

Though Jack may never admit it, it was one of his biggest wants. Seeing you in his England short was nothing short revolutionary - he'd said. It only made him want to see you in the Villa shirt more. That was his childhood club, getting to captain that was one of his biggest achievements and while he knew you were absolutely proud of him. You were the most proud and encouraging person in his life and there were no ifs buts or maybes in that.

But my god he knew you'd look fit in that claret and blue.

No matter how much it annoyed him, he wouldn't get you out of the darker blue home jersey of your favourite club no matter what he did. It was something he had come to accept over the course of your relationship, it was by and large fine.

Until that jersey said someone else's name across the back.

"Awh come on!" He yelps, mouth dropped open as you emerge into the kitchen with your toothbrush hanging out your mouth and only one shoe on. Jack knows you slept in because he switched off your alarm last night in hopes you'd miss the game, but Jack dropped a bowl when he tripped over the dog and woke you up anyway.

You going to the Villa v Chelsea game in a Chelsea shirt was bad enough, but now he's just clocked something that's sent his mind firing a mile a minute.

MOUNT

19

Not a fucking chance.

"Oi, you!" He calls out, throwing himself off the chair at the kitchen island, his feet fumbling over one another to get after you as quickly as possible. "What's up, Jack?" You hum innocently, a sweet smile playing on your lips as you stand in the doorway shoving on your other shoe. "Is something the matter?"

Jack gawks, opening and closing his mouth awaiting words to find his frazzled brain. "Yes!" He squeaks, a tone you'd never heard from a man before, let along your very deep voiced man. "There's no way that you're- what are you doing? Come back." He groans, his feet shuffling after you as you walk back through the house to find your car keys. "We're going to be late if you don't hurry up." You note sweetly, Jack drops his jaw. "We're not going anywhere until-"

"Hi Mason, yeah I got it. Fits like glove actually. Yeah, we're just leaving now. I'll meet you in the car park."

Jack's face was literally priceless. His agape, eye's wild, brows furrowed. A pout settles itself firmly into his lips the second he sits in the car with his arms folded over his chest like a toddler. You have to physically stifle a laugh at him as you beam the entire drive to Villa Park.

"M' gonna burn that." He states. You cast him a glance out the corner of your eye as you pull into the players parking. A snigger escapes despite your very best efforts and Jack resumes his frontward glare at the dashboard with his lips in a firm line. "Gonna win this game, burn that shirt and knock Mount flat."

You know he's not being serious about Mason. He's very fond of the player when they're on the same side. But you had become very close friends with him through the mutual love for the club he plays at and Jack absolutely despised that. He wasn't the kind to be bothered by your friends even to a moderate degree and even here he trusted you, he just fucking hated the concept of another club and another mans name over your back. It ticked him right off.

You know this very well. You knew what you were getting into the second Mason handed you that dark blue shirt. It was all fun and games really. You loved the club but you only wore the Mount shirt to get under Jack's skin. You thought it might even throw off his game a little.

The second he stormed onto the pitch and scored a goal 5 minutes into the game, you figured that might not be the case.

Every opportunity, every goal, every opening and every single tackle, Jack turned to you. He turned to you with fire in those brown eyes, sending you a cheeky wink. His passion, the very serious look etched onto his features and the way he was looking at you was fuelling a very different kind of fire in you.

Jack played the whole 90 minutes and he took Mason Mount down at every single given opportunity in a careful way that just evaded him getting a yellow card. He finished hot, sweaty and with a man of the match trophy for 2 goals and one assist with a majority of the game spent with the ball at his feet.

The 3 nil win should have been a lot more disappointing that it was, but he just looked so fucking good. The sweat stuck his hair to his temples, his muscles tight and protruding through exertion as he walks off the field after shaking every hand.

You're standing just outside the tunnel with Mason and John McGinn standing with you, talking about the match mostly. John makes a joke about you wearing that top more often, seems to be a good luck charm for Villa even if it's the opposing team. Mason scoffs and says; "More like an angry boyfriend wants to murder me charm."

That's when Jack appears and John barely gets his mouth open to greet him before Jack shoulders through the two footballers. His mouth finds your immediately. Hot, passionate, fiery and filled with his dominance.

He pulls back and grabs onto your hand tightly with his back to the two midfielders. Jack twists his body round with a daggering glare.

"Nobody," Jack growls, "fucks around with girl."

His tone, deep and gravelly, only serves to dampen your panties further in a way that makes your clench your legs together.

Jack's done with pouting, the teasing can resume later. For now, he's dragging you by the hand to a darkened conference room. Hiking you up his body before setting you on the table that sits at a miraculously perfect height that places you right against his bulge.

He wastes no time whatsoever ripping down your leggings and panties, his fingers finding you immediately to swirl pressured motions around your sensitive clit. "Ahh, who's got you moaning like that baby?" He rumbles, words vibrating through your lips.

"You Jack, oh god, you!" You pant as his fingers leave you feeling empty and needy. Jack easily tugs down his shorts and pulls himself out of his boxers to line up with your entrance. His victory sex is hot always, but usually there was a dry spell after a Villa v Chelsea game, so it had never been this hot.

"And who am I?" He grunts, pushing himself into you to hear your shuddering squeak of pleasure. He lays you down over the table, hands following you under your shirt to carefully and tentatively swirl his fingers over your nipples from under your bra. "Oh god, Jack," you move your hands to the hem of the blue shirt to lift it over your head, but Jack's hands stop them before you have the chance.

"No, no, no," he chastises with a smirk, "Want to fuck you in their colours," He continues to thrust roughly into you with each heavy breath, mouth and squeak that escapes you only spurring him on. "Want to fuck you with his name on your back, baby. Remind you who you belong to."

You shudder in pleasure with the feeling of his lips attaching to your neck, letting out a shaky, heavy breath as he snakes a hand down between you to swirl those circles around your more pleasureful spot once again. He knows the intricate details of your body better than any man ever has and he always ensures he uses it to his advantage, but nothing like today. His lips on the sweet spot of your neck, hitting and stretching you perfect between your legs with masterful work of his fingers pushing you closer and closer with each second that passed.

"Fuck , I'm so close-"

"Who's making you feel so good, baby?" He pants, skin slapping and heavy breathing echoing around the room. "You, Jack. You!"

"Not a Chelsea boy eh?" He grunts, teeth nibbling down over your collarbone. "Not a Chelsea boy baby is it?" He reiterates, pairing the movements of his hand only until you snap open your eyes again, "No Jack, it's all you. not a- oh god!"

Jack breathes a chuckle into your ear with an appreciative hum to follow.

"Yeah, Villa Captain isn't it? You're screaming out for a Villa boy, ain't ya?" He coaxes, edging you further and further as he speeds up to a pace he's never quite hit you with before. The adrenaline of the match, the irritation of that blue jersey and the passion for the win colliding to give him an energy he's never yet had. Watching your eyes roll beneath him wearing that stupid blue entices him on, only makes him want to pleasure you more if even possible. "Yes! Yes, I am, oh god just don't stop."

"Go on then," he encourages, voice deep in your ear. "Come undone for the Villa Captain baby."

He didn't have to tell you twice, that was for sure. The sight of your eyes fluttering, the feeling of you clenching around him with a steam of, "Fuck yes Jack!" sends him tumbling over the edge of his orgasm right after you, a strangle cry out of your name as it wracks through him.

When he lays down beside you in the table that very surpassingly withstood the pace of your antics, you're both breathless and shining with sweat. Your legs feel like jelly as you still throb from the pleasure. Jack turns his head to you with a lazy smirk, brushing some hair off your forehead as you turn to look at him.

"Well, I certainly do love a Villa boy."

[namjooningelsewhere]

Chapter - #3A

-💭A/N - So this chapter is going to be a mix of written and text and it is going to unfold the past of jack and Y/N. A lot of people are probably expecting high octane drama in this update after that furious teaser but i have toned it down a lot in here and it may seem like a splash of cold water on raging fire but believe me the drama makes no sense when Y/N herself hasn't processed the breakup yet. She has just been running away from what she feels. but talk about being bitter! Let me know what you think and also let me know if you want to be added to the taglist.

Im not adding the teasers i put out into the chapters, but incase if you have no idea what they were they're right - here

💭Taglist - @hopetookmysoul @fangirl125reader @hoodalmighty @scentedsope @miriamxsworld @sanjiroo @renhold-nightspear @taeshuworld @thequeen-kat @definetlythinkimanalien @midnight1199 @kyrah-williams @gingerspicetalks @loveyoongles @tinyoonsblog @ygimsgw @lostbitvh @jikooksgirl19 @kthstrawberryshortcake @kosmicbomb @sunshine0-0 @somelazysundays @cutiepat @speedyhandsbonkpalace @akshstudios @akshreads @mollie-a-smallcombe @bunzom @scandal-in-bohemia @crewzie-chan @jungsh0oky @noir-et-blank @imnotokayfuckup @bri-mal (The Ones in bold are which I'm not able to tag.)

Y/N paced around the hotel room gathering around the clothes and her stuff, while her attention was wholy on the door. She couldnt figure out what exactly Jack wanted to talk about but she hoped it wasnt what she thought it was.

Jack came in a minute later and he looked at her nervously while she looked at him in confusion. "Umm hi?" He said awkwardly as seconds went by and no one said anything. "Hi." Y/n replied curtly and went on about stuffing her stuff in the suitcase. "What did you want to speak about Jack?" Jack immediately shifted uncomfortably in his position, unsure of what to say he pulled her hand and led her to the door.

"Dont ask anything just come with me please?" Jack said as they waited for the elevator and Y/N struggled in his hold but he just tightened making it clear he wouldnt leave it until he was done.

"Jack i literally have to leave in an hour, Where are we going?" Y/n tried to get his attention but no avail. Jack opened the car door for her and she sat in. "Just trust me okay, and i want you to understand why i did this?" He drove for ten minutes and parked infront of a huge showroom- House Of Jade.

Y/N froze in her track as she saw herself in the poster that was right outside the store. "Jack what is this?" The words were getting stuck in her throat, The photo was taken in Paris and more importantly the tagline- YEARS OF YOU caught her attention.

Jack moved infront of Y/N and took his hand in his and looked straight in her eye- "Y/N This collection for me is all the years I've spent with you and without you. Its all in here, the love that we shared, The pain that i felt and the memories I've cherished when you weren't here with me. I am sorry i was unfair years ago when my father passed away i had to move here with my mother take over the company, build it with the legacy my father left me and you lost your father later, You had to stay back in Korea for your mother between these issues i thought it was okay to leave when we had good memories and not when our relationship became something that we couldn't tolerate anymore.

"That day at the café I didn't just leave you Y/N i left a part of me, A part that stayed with you until i met you that day here in Paris. I was so passionate about designing but when you left all that was left in my brain was an empty canvas. I never stopped loving you Y/N. Everyday I've fought battles just fucking wishing you were by my side and when Danny told me all about your breakup and how you took this project all i wanted was to comfort you hold you tight and never let you go. But when i met you everything came back rushing to me. This collection that you see back there i designed it in a night. Could you believe that? I am not saying that i want you back and this is me begging for a second chance. But this me letting you know that I'm giving you nothing but the truth and if you feel okay i want you to know you can find your way back to me. Il be right here."

Tears started streaming down Y/n's face as Jack looked away to wipe his own tears. Why did life had to do this to her, She hadnt gotten over her breakup yet and here he was giving his heart out to her.

"Jack this is the best thing anybody has ever done for me. I dont know what to say. I would be lying if i said im not moved but it is unfair to you if i come in now with a baggage that i havent even fucking dealt with yet. I will need some time Jack." Y/n looked at him and Jack just smiled, He touched her cheek with his palm and smiled, "Take whatever time you need. Its okay if you dont come back to me, i want you to choose, not do something because you feel obligated." Y/n hugged jack tightly, her head resting on his chest. She could feel the way his heart was beating rapidly.

Y/n moved back and wiped her tears and Jack cleared his throat and he fished for his phone from his jeans, He showed Y/N the screen and her eyes were almost close to popping out. "Jack what the hell?" He rubbed the back of his head. "Action of Impulse, Excessive Jealousy. I acted out of impulse, i wanted to show them that I'm no less and i am here to win you back but Danny knocked some sense into me and now all i want to do is use their reach and make this collection a part of as many lives possible."

"Jack this- I don't know what to say." Y/n was about to combust but Jack was grinning. "I said I'm sorry, it was pure out of impulse okay. I'm really sorry. I couldn't take the Collab down because my team was already in talks. I'm sorry Y/N." He nudged her and she let out a sigh. What was she supposed to do now!

"I'm sorry." Jack nudged Y/N again and she just rolled her eyes. "Yeah whatever. Now drop me to the hotel or il miss my flight." Y/N smacked his arm and he laughed.

Jack felt lighter, He had given her nothing but truth. It was her choice now.

Y/N felt confused. She wasn't ready to deal with the pain yet, and hell she wasn't ready to deal with love again. She just had too much to think off, too much to process, but she would deal with it another day.

[dustofbrokenheart]

The Lost Boys: Camp White Fang

David x Michael

Word Count: 1,641

Summary: What starts off as any other summer quickly falls apart for David when he’s forced to room with fellow camp counselor, Michael. Inspired by my love for Fear Street 1978. (Photo from Pinterest) 

Shit. Monday morning meetings really were the worst.

“I’m supposed to remind you all that curfew is ten o’clock—" The same time it had been all the previous summers he had worked here, he thought as he looked around distractedly. Honestly, he shouldn’t have to be hauled out of bed this early to hear the same old shit.

“If any of the kids give you grief for that, and you don’t feel comfortable reprimanding them, bring them to my cabin. I’m happy to go over the rules with them.”

Reprimand? Really?

No offense to the new nurse, but she didn’t seem like she had one authoritative bone in in her entire petite body. And one of David’s favorite parts of this gig was jacking up campers, especially the annoying ones, which most of them were. No way was he bringing anyone over to kind Nurse Emerson.

“That’s everything on the agenda. The kids arrive in two hours so please make sure you’re all back here by then to welcome them.” People started standing up before she had even finished talking, himself included. “Thanks again everyone. Oh, and Max sends his regards.”

The sunny smile she wore suggested that she either didn’t realize everyone stopped listening or that she just didn’t care.

Still, David found that he didn’t hate her. The comforting, warm vibes pouring off of her made it hard to.

His true complains were reserved for the new owner, Max, who literally set the early time to debrief his workers only to ditch himself. Hypocrite.

He was half way to the door along with all the other counselors when a hand tugged at his elbow. Snarl in place, he was about to educate whoever it was on the sanctity of personal bubbles.

“Sorry!” Oh. It was the nurse. “Didn’t mean to scare you! Can I speak with you, David?”

Knowing that it would be bad to get fired on the very first day of camp, he tried schooling his face into a natural expression. Key word being tried. Under previous management, he’d known how far he could push but hadn’t yet gotten a feel for the new head honchos. 

Sarcasm was at his essence and even if he managed his face, he wasn’t certain he kept it out of his tone. “You may,” he drawled. “Is everything good?”

Still holding onto his elbow, she looped hers through his, her other hand patting his bicep as they walked. Jesus. Were they in Regency England now? He’d be damned if his summer turned into a Pride and Prejudice production, or some other bullshit.

“Now, I have it on good authority that you’re one of our best counselors.”

“Who the hell told you that?” He was surprised and couldn’t hold back the swear that slipped out.

Nurse Emerson tutted at his language. “Max told me that’s what Vlad said when he was signing over the property papers.”

Ah. Good, ol’ Vlad. David wasn’t going to miss that one. At all. The only reasons he kept returning was because his boys did too and lording over kids was easy money. “Glad my reputation precedes me.”

By then, the hall was mostly empty with only two stragglers still chatting a table.

“All good things,” she promised. “The reason I’m bringing it up is because I’d like your help with something.”

He realized that she was leading them to the other two people in the room. One was definitely a camper, the last bits of baby fat still clinging to his rounded cheeks. The other was…was…

“These are my sons, Sam and Michael.” She indicated the boy first and then the older one. David felt off-balance and he hated it.

He managed to catch the name though. Michael.

“Now, Michael is about your age, David.” Michael groaned and slumped lower in his seat. His younger brother patted him sympathetically. “And since you’re going to be cabin mates, I was hoping you could be his guide, show him the ropes.”

Wait. What.

His brain which had been stuck in a daze was suddenly working double time. Cabin mates? It was impossible. “We can’t be. I always have cabin three to myself.”

“He was brought on as a counselor last minute and Max said you were the only one without a roommate.” Yeah, for good reason lady. David required lots of space to himself if he was expected to be around idiots all summer long.

And even if the curly haired, muscle laden god was pretty enough to have statues sculpted in his likeness, there was no way he wasn’t an idiot. Everyone at camp was an idiot, including himself for coming back again.

“I don’t think Michael here would like living with me much.” The guy in question sat up straighter. David tried communicating with his eyes, promising to make his life a living hell if Michael didn’t agree with him.

So, of course, the idiot did the exact opposite of what he wanted. “No, man. It’s not a problem. You’re doing me a huge favor, I’m not going to be a jerk about it.”

He would’ve punched him, if he could. Punched, and then throttled him. His prettiness wouldn’t save him. He was too stupid to live.

All three Emersons turned to him expectantly. Clearly at a disadvantage, he couldn’t give the answer he really wanted to. 

Instead, he said, “That’s great.” He swore a piece of his mortal soul shriveled up and died. It would explain why a spot behind his eyes throbbed. “Sounds like we’re in for a nice summer.”

At his words, they all smiled at him in unison once again. It was creepy and not a cool way. It was more like some weird version of a Stepford family.

Happy that her son’s situation was figured out, Lucy pulled Michael in for a quick hug. Somehow, she was able to materialize all of his duffle bags out of thin air, load him up like a pack mule, and sent them on their not-so-merry way.

David couldn’t resist poking at him once they were out of earshot. “Why in the hell did you bring four bags to camp?”

“Oh. Uh…” Michael’s eyes darted around as if he didn’t know how to answer and David pounced at that.

“Didn’t take you for a diva type. Hopefully you’re not expecting some fancy resort because you’re in for two months of bugs, sun burn, and shitty kids. Emphasis on the shitty part when you have to do outhouse clean-up.”

“Actually, I was told I don’t have to do that.”

His icy gaze cut straight to his unwanted roommate. “Everyone cleans toilets their first year. Everyone.” He still got slightly sick just thinking about when he had to do it as a first year, and would hate for Michael to miss out on such a hallowed tradition.

Just for that little remark, he was pulling some strings to make sure he ended up with that particular duty on a weekly basis.

The other shook his head so fast that his bags swayed with him despite how heavy they looked. “I don’t think I’m above it or anything! It’s just that I’m the sports counselor so Max said I didn’t have to.”

He was liking Max less and less and he hadn’t even met the camp’s new owner yet. Vlad was the original owner but after a health scare, he’d decided to move on and put the place up for sale. The area had a reputation, and not necessarily a good one, which complicated the whole thing. 

Finally, after many, many months, Max had shown up out of no where for a meeting with Vlad and had walked out as the new camp owner.

David had never met him, much less seen him but it sounded like Michael was already one of his favorites. “It’s no problem,” he said with sarcastic sweetness, “I’ll tell Maria to add you to the list. It’s not smart to make enemies on the first day, after all.”

Not giving him a chance to respond, he walked up the stairs to the cabin. He heard Michael behind him trying to catch the door before it shut but made no move to keep it open for him.

If they were going to be living together temporarily, he wasn’t going to make it easy for him. With a small amount of luck, maybe he would even leave of his own volition if he was miserable enough. The mere thought had the corners of his lips hitching up into a small smile.

Fitting his elbow around the door handle, he came staggering in under the weight of his bags which banged into everything in his path. He claimed he had them because he was in charge of sports but David called horseshit. Four was too much.

Michael waited for him to direct him to one of the beds, but David sat on the couch instead, suddenly very interested in his fingernails. Michael wet his lips. “So which side of the room should I take?”

“Your side of the room?” A delicate blonde eyebrowed raised up. “The whole cabin is my side of the cabin, Michael.”

A silence settled over them. Surely awkward for Michael but it was much to David’s pleasure. He hadn’t wanted to agree to this whole situation in the first place so he’d have to set boundaries early, the main one being that he was the one in charge.

After making him squirm for a few minutes, he prompted him toward the left side with a wave of his chin.

Michael let out a relieved sigh. “Thanks, man.” He immediately moved to dump his stuff on the bed. Yep. He was definitely an idiot. 

David gave a sort of benevolent, little bow from where he sat. “Welcome to Camp White Fang, Michael.” Let the games begin.

_______________

Oh boy, here’s that summer camp au I brought up a few weeks ago. This is my first tumblr fic that isn’t  in a x reader format, not mention that I find David hard to write, so this will be a good challenge for me. How are people liking it? Should I make it a multi-chapter thing? Thanks for taking time to read! 😊

[drabbles-mc]

Protective Detail (6/?)

Nestor Oceteva x Reader

Warnings: language, tension so thick you could cut it with a goddamn knife

Word Count: 3.5k

A/N: We finally get some payoff, my friends. This chapter is just a tiny taste of what’s in store for 7. That’s when we really get our thirst quenched. So...you know...stay tuned...

Chapter Index

Protective Detail Taglist: @masterlistforimagines​ @sillygoose6969​ @mydaiilyescape​ @lovebennycolonmiguelgalindo​ @the-radical-venus​ @gemini0410​ @garbinge​ @slutformayansmc​ @paintballkid711​ @chibsytelford​ @yourwonkywriter​ @sesamepancakes​ @mayans-sauce​ (If you want to be tagged in this fic or any of my other writing don’t hesitate to let me know!)

You had your bluetooth headphones on, lip-syncing along with the songs on your playlist as you cleaned around the house. You hated vacuuming, and you always tried to get it done quickly. The time seemed to pass faster when you were dancing to a good beat while you drowned out the noise.

One of the benefits of not having a large house, was that cleaning it wasn’t as daunting of a task as it could’ve been. Plus, on days like today when you called in and didn’t have anywhere to be, there was no excuse not to get it done. Your brain was still reeling from your interaction with Nestor earlier, and cleaning with loud music blaring in your ears seemed like a welcome distraction.

You were dancing your way over to the kitchen to get started on cleaning all of your counters when you felt someone’s eyes on you. You spun around and gasped when you saw Nestor standing there, looking back and forth between you and your phone that was in his hand.

You felt your face get hot as you pushed the headphones down so they were resting around your neck, “Jesus, Nestor. You’re gonna give me a heart attack.”

“Gotta stay alert,” he said matter-of-factly. He held your phone up, “Kendrick is on your cleaning mix?”

You laughed, “What? He’s not on yours?”

“Just didn’t have you pegged as a hip-hop fan, that’s all.”

“You have a lot to learn about me, Mr. Oceteva.”

His brows furrowed, “Don’t call me that ever again,” his face remained serious for a moment before a smirk broke out across it.

You chuckled, “From now on it’s the only thing I will ever call you.”

He didn’t dignify your comment with a response, “Anything I can do?”

You shrugged, “I’m just gonna wipe down the counters and stove. Just trying to keep myself busy.”

You put your headphones back on and got started cleaning up the kitchen. The longer you stood there staring at Nestor, the more you felt like you were going to lose your mind. What you really wanted to do was go for a drive to clear your head, but that was off the table even if Nestor was going to be in the car with you. Carefree cruising was going to be put on hold for the foreseeable future.

Once you were done in the kitchen, you moved on to the bathroom. It was the smallest room in the house but for some reason it was your least favorite to clean. You blamed it on the fact that you hated the smell of bleach, but it was just a lot of scrubbing and crouching if you were going to clean it the right way.

You stood up and were turning around to go grab a fresh roll of paper towels from the kitchen when you ran smack into Nestor. You huffed, looking up at him trying your best to have an annoyed expression on your face, although you knew that he would probably be able to see right through it.

“Quit sneaking up on me!”

He smirked, “I’m not,” he reached forward and gently thumbed a bead of sweat off your forehead before walking away and heading back to his room.

You felt like your entire body was on fire as you stood there stuck in place in the bathroom. He wasn’t much for any kind of contact at all, and that seemed like such an unnecessary gesture. You shook your head and went to grab a clean set of clothes from your room as you tried not to read too much into it. The only thing you could do right now was take a shower to try and wash away all the thoughts that were flying through your head.

You didn’t see much of Nestor for the rest of the afternoon. The door to his room was open, but you couldn’t bring yourself to go and see him. The house was silent and you finally forced yourself to put something on the TV just to keep you from going insane inside your own head.

It was starting to approach dinner time and you figured that you were going to have to talk to him eventually. Taking a deep breath you lightly knocked on the door.

“Yea?”

You stepped in to see him sitting with his back up against the headboard, computer in his lap. You leaned back against the doorframe nervously, “Dinner?”

“I’d like to eat eventually, yea,” he slowly shut his laptop, a tiny grin creeping across his face.

“I’d literally kill someone for a slice of pizza at this point,” you said with a laugh.

He chuckled, “Sure, you’d kill someone, but would you leave the house?”

You huffed, “You’ve worn me down. I am willing to leave the house to get pizza.”

He raised his eyebrows, “Wow. You feeling alright?”

You smiled, shaking your head, “You gotta admit it’s been a long few days.”

“If you wanna call and place the order, we can go pick it up.”

“Can I leave it under your name?”

He sighed, pressing his lips together for a moment, “You’re going to place an order for Mr. Oceteva, aren’t you?”

“Guess you’ll find out when we go to pick it up,” you laughed as you walked out of the room.

You never thought that you’d see the day when Nestor left the house in anything but his dress clothes. But, sure enough, he was grabbing the keys to the SUV still in his sweatpants. He had a gun tucked into the waistband, and you smiled to yourself as he pulled on a baggy hoodie to cover it up. He looked over to you, waiting for you to catch up with him.

The two of you went back and forth earlier about who was going to drive, but Nestor insisted. You were trying to be considerate because the last drive wasn’t the smoothest, but you could see it in his eyes that he wasn’t going to back down. It wasn’t worth an argument, so you let him have the keys.

Nestor walked into the restaurant first, instantly scanning the whole building. The young man behind the register looked at the two of you with a smile, “Can I help you?”

“Order for pickup?” Nestor said as he reached into his pocket for his wallet.

The boy looked over the names for orders that he had, “Are you…Mr. Oceteva?”

You could tell that he was clenching his jaw and you bit back a laugh. Nestor sighed, “Yes, that’s me.”

He was opening his wallet to grab some cash when you reached forward and snatched it out of his hands, stuffing it into your pocket before he could pay. You could see it on his face that he wanted to grab it back, but wasn’t about to start something in the middle of the pizza place. You chuckled as you handed a few bills over the counter to the young man, who looked very interested in how the situation was going to play out.

“Keep the change,” you said with a smile, “Have a good night.”

The kid nodded with a smile, “You too.”

You looked to Nestor, “Can you grab those?” you nodded towards the pizza and wing boxes.

The two of you walked back to the car, and he didn’t say anything until you both were inside of it with the doors locked. He looked over at you with a heavy sigh and held out his hand, “Wallet.”

You smirked, pulling it out of your pocket, “Fine, fine,” before you handed it over you opened it, and your eyes nearly popped out of your head when you saw his license photo, “Oh my god,” your hand flew up to cover your mouth, “Is that…teenage Nestor?”

He reached over and snatched it up out of your hands, “Give me the fucking wallet.”

“Your hair was so short!” you laughed, “Look at you and your baby face.”

He leaned his head back, looking up at the ceiling like he was praying to god for patience, “Please stop talking.”

“You were so cute what the fuck,” you laughed, shaking your head in disbelief.

“I’ll leave you here,” he looked over at you, “And I’ll take the pizza with me.”

You pressed your lips together and tried to keep yourself from smiling, but you failed, “Let’s get home before the pizza gets cold.”

He shook his head as he threw the car into drive. For as annoyed as he was making himself seem, you could see it in his eyes that he was amused by the whole ordeal. He’d never admit it, but you knew it was true.

The two of you were camped out on the couch. You had ordered a large pizza, so you decided it was easier to just set the box on the cushion between you and each of you sat cross-legged facing it. It was the first time that Nestor ever drank at home, and it made you feel like you were at a slumber party of some kind.

You took a swig from your beer bottle, “Can I be real with you for a minute?”

He nodded, “Sure.”

“I know that this,” you gestured to yourself and your house, “is not what you usually do. I know it’s probably way below your paygrade, and I know that I give you a lot of shit for very little reward,” you chuckled, “But I’m really glad that you’re here.”

He froze mid-bite, “Yea?”

You smiled, “Yea. I know I gave you and my father both a hard time about all this. But if I’m being honest? I was pretty shaken up after everything happened. It felt like if I gave into this without a fight, I was admitting defeat. But I do feel a lot safer with you here. So…thanks.”

It was clear on his face that he was trying to process everything that you had just said to him. He set his slice of pizza back down into the box, “Can I ask what happened? Your father never gave me any details.”

You sigh, leaning back against the arm of the couch, “It was so stupid,” you shook your head, “I was out with a couple friends, bar-hopping. I stepped outside to get some fresh air, and this girl runs up to me in tears, saying that her friend was sick and she didn’t know what to do. Like, alcohol poisoning sick. And she was freaking out saying that her friend wasn’t breathing and she already called 911 but she didn’t know what else to do. So, I went to help, because I’m not gonna let someone choke on their own vomit and die or something. But when I got to the end of the block—”

“No friend.”

You shook your head, “Nope. Just two dudes trying to grab me and take me away. I really don’t remember exactly what happened, how I didn’t end up dead or at least hog-tied in the back of some sketchy-ass van. But when I tell you that I have never run away from something so fast," you took a long drink from your beer, “But anyway, yea. That’s the gist of it. Obviously, I had to tell my dad about it.  He freaked out. He had no idea that he had been stirring up so much shit with business lately. And I’m assuming you got your new employment notice shortly after that happened,” you half-smiled.

He shook his head, “Sorry, Y/N.”

You shrugged, “I know better than to go anywhere alone, even with a distressed girl coming to me in tears. Just had a lapse in judgment and I paid the price for it. Just sorry you’re paying for it too,” you managed a laugh.

“I’m paying for my own lapses in judgment, don’t worry.”

You paused—that was the closest you’d ever gotten to hearing him talk about what happened on his end of things to land him in your house with you. “Sorry purgatory for you is this little two-bedroom house with me,” you smiled at him.

He chuckled, shaking his head, “Who knows, I might’ve ended up here anyway. But I definitely made the call a lot easier for them.”

“What was your crime?” you tried to keep it light but you couldn’t hide your curiosity.

His expression sobered as he contemplated whether or not he wanted to let you in on that part of his life, “Nothing as good-natured as trying to help someone with their drunk friend.”

“Not that I don’t totally dig the whole spiffy, braided, mysterious vibe you always have going,” you gestured to his whole body for a moment before continuing, “But you ever gonna not be vague with me about your deal with Galindo? I know I don’t particularly like him, but still. I like you. It’d be nice to know a little about you. I mean, c’mon, I doubt anything you say to me is going to be surprising. You know who my father is.”

He chuckled, unable to make eye contact with you for a few moments. He took a deep breath, “You remember the last Santa Madre festival?”

“Fuck, who doesn’t? Shit went sideways so fast,” you shook your head slightly, “Rebels killed that nun, right?”

His eyes were glued to the box between you, “Not really.”

There were a few moments of silence before it all clicked inside your head. Your eyes grew wide, “You…?” when he nodded all you could do was ask, “But why?”

He sighed and shook his head, “Rebels had been making the cartel catch a lot of shit. Galindo was convinced that the only way to put himself back on the right side of things was to flip the script—turn the Rebels into the problem. Put their name on the dirty work instead of the cartel’s,” he leaned back against the arm of the couch, “He was not thrilled with the call that I made on the specifics of the method.”

It was hard to picture the Nestor that you had come to know, the one who burned through entire pints of ice cream, and roughed up men who disrespected you, was capable of that kind of carnage. You knew better than to put anything past anyone, though. You could see the tension in his body as he waited for your reaction.

You let out a small sigh, “Listen, no one in the Galindo family has any room to talk about cruel and unusual punishment,” you waited for him to look at you, “And for better or worse, you did exactly what he needed. LO took a major hit in the court of public opinion after that. Don’t place a vague order if you’re gonna complain about all the details of it once the plate is in front of you.”

He let out a surprised chuckle, “Damn. If I had you around earlier maybe I wouldn’t have gotten demoted in the first place.”

“I’ll talk to him for you,” you laughed, “Just say the word.”

His laugh was genuine, “Absolutely not. I’ll be completely fired if you do that.”

“But,” you smiled as you toyed with the beer bottle in your hands, “if that happened you would get to stay with me all the time. Does that not sound amazing to you?” he remained silent for a few moments before his face broke out into a smile and you shook your head, “Shut up you could have it so much worse.”

The two of you didn’t talk for a few minutes, the television filling the house with quiet noise. You finished what little was still in your beer bottle before starting to clear up what was left of dinner. As much as you hated leaving the house compared to delivery, you had to admit that the trip was worth it.

You saw Nestor open his mouth to say something as you reached down and collected his beer bottle, but he stopped himself. You lingered for a moment, hoping that he would change his mind and say whatever it was that he was thinking, but he just reached and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

Once you finished cleaning up, you decided that you were going to try and get to bed at a somewhat decent hour so you could try to get back to your usual schedule. You walked up behind Nestor, gently resting one hand on his shoulder.

“I’m heading to bed,” you squeezed his shoulder lightly, “Goodnight.”

He didn’t look up at you as he rested his hand over yours for a brief moment, “Goodnight. See you in the morning.”

You were lying awake in bed for what felt like an eternity. In reality it had only been a couple hours, but that was a long time to lie awake staring at the ceiling. You finally caved and took your phone out. If you were going to be awake anyway, you might as well look at something.

That’s when you heard the television shut off. Shortly thereafter the lights in the living room turned off as well. You realized that you had never been awake when Nestor went to bed. You heard soft footsteps in the hall and you didn’t know why but you were holding your breath when they got close to your door.

There was a light knock as he leaned in the doorway, looking at your face that was lit up by the screen of your phone, “Still up?”

You sat upright, eyes focusing on his silhouette in the darkness, “Can’t sleep.”

“Need anything?”

Your entire body felt like it was overheating. You gnawed at the inside of your cheek, “I, uh…I think I’m…I think I’m good.”

He chuckled, “You don’t sound too sure about that.”

You laughed, fingers twisting nervously in your blanket, “Not sure how much you could help me with what I need, Nestor.”

He crossed the threshold into your room, and you were very aware of the fact that he had never done so before. He came and found a seat on the edge of your bed, “It’s what I’m here for. Try me,” his hand found its way to yours and the warmth of it caused you to release your vice grip on the blanket as he slipped his fingers between yours.

Your heart was pounding inside your chest and your breath felt like it was caught in your throat. You set your phone off to the side with your hand that wasn’t entwined with Nestor’s, and you wondered if he could feel the way your body was trembling.

“I can go, if you’re alright,” he went to stand up.

“No,” you squeezed his hand, giving him a slight tug to keep him from getting up.

“What’s up?” you could hear the smugness in his tone—he knew exactly what was going through your head.

“I,” you paused, taking a deep breath, “I’m not looking to make this more difficult for you.”

He chuckled, “Since when?”

Your whole face was hot and you were thankful that the darkness of your room hid the nervousness that was surely showing on your face, “That’s…that’s fair.”

He was halfway through a laugh when you leaned in and pressed your lips against his. There was a moment of stillness when you were waiting for him to pull back, to get up and leave, but he didn’t. Instead, he gave your hand a gentle squeeze as he leaned into you. You felt the tension fading out of your body as your free hand came up to rest on the back of his neck, keeping his lips against yours.

When he finally pulled away to catch his breath, he finished the laugh he had started before you kissed him. He cupped the side of your face in his hand, “We do not have the same definition of the word difficult.”

You giggled, biting down lightly on your bottom lip, “No?”

He shook his head, “No.”

He didn’t give you the opportunity to come up with a smart remark as he pulled your lips back to his. You smiled as you melted against him. Your heart was beating so hard inside your chest you were sure that Nestor was going to be able to hear it in the silence of your room. He pulled you closer to him, his hand sliding to rest on the back of your neck. The feeling of his hands on you sent a wave of heat throughout your entire body and you let out a shaky moan as you kissed him.

He pulled back just enough so that his lips weren’t on yours, “You good?”

You nodded, “Yea,” you smiled, your voice soft, “Don’t stop, please.”

He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to. A smirk crossed his face for a moment before he kissed you again, harder this time. His fingertips pressed lightly into the nape of your neck and for the first time you could feel the neediness radiating off of him—it pulsated through his fingers and into your skin. His touch was magnetic, and you knew that you wouldn’t have been able to pull away from him even if you wanted to. Luckily, though, pulling away was the farthest thing from your mind.

[szynkaaa]

I more or less watched The Boy!!! And by watching, I mean I skipped more or less through the jump scare parts because I cannot do horror movies at all. I haven’t watched one since 2015 and The Boy was like the first horror movie after five years

Full disclosure, the ONLY reason I started watching the movie was because someone posted a gif of Greta standing close to Brahms who was all sweaty and breathing heavily n I was like “oh shit who dat he hot” and here I am 

Can anyone explain the sandwich scene to me? So Greta was scared shitless and locked herself in her room, but why did Brahms make her favorite sandwich for her?

I did some digging for interviews and generally what people have been saying about the movie, took some screenshots from youtube to put my thoughts and musing together too! 

Can anyone explain the sandwich scene to me? So Greta was scared shitless and locked herself in her room, but why did Brahms make her favorite sandwich for her? 

So first of all, let’s start with a low resolution photo I found on IG of James Russell without mask:

which brings me to my first musing/thought/question? 

It’s all under the cut, very screenshot and text heavy, you can find more Brahms drawing at the bottom though  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So at the end of the movie, we are shown a Brahms with a broken mask and his face being burned, indicating that he was in fact in the fire.

I assumed first that the fire was created by the parents to fake their sons death and then he had to live hidden inside the walls? 

But I’ve also heard apparently it was Brahms who set the fire to fake his own death or maybe an eight years old kid really was trying to burn himself down?? 

My other theory is that his parents made the fire and tried to kill Brahms and it did burn him but he survived, and the parents didn’t wanna go to jail sooo to hide everything they made their son live in the walls

i mean the responsible thing would be to turn their kid in and have him treated and stuff;;; listened to a murder podcast about two cases where kids murdered enough kids and how they are doing now interesting read Brahms made me think of those two cases 

I also do not think that the previous nannies were killed. Like, c’mon. You’d report a person missing and sooner or later it would go back to the Heelshire mansion and if the body counts piles up? Can’t look good and I doubt that the Heelshire wants the police investigating them close up. 

Also, when the mom was like “He’s chosen you if you’ll have him” to Greta? Is it just me or the wording or does it sound like a marriage proposal/arrangement xD 

Brahms is a brat and he sees the people around him as his possession or to toy around. But I also do think that he has some abandonment issues but not in the sad tragic kind of way lmao. Even if he was the one controlling and manipulating his parents from behind-the-scene (quite literally I suppose?), he was still told as a kid to live in hiding and that no one can know he is alive. I don’t know much about the human brain, but I can imagine how damaging that must be to his mental growth and set him back in some way? We don’t know too much about his relationship with his parents - but I assume that he must have still loved them in his own twisted way. Can’t imagine that he would have been indifferent about his parents suicide. 

The scene before Greta manages to back out - first he uses the child voice to beg her to come back and promises he will be good. That’s his manipulating Greta, but when that doesn’t work and she tries harder to open the door, he becomes more desperate to keep her there and then completely loses his temper and threatens to kill Malcolm if she doesn’t return. I’m pretty sure homeboy would have killed him anyway. And then later when she returns and he is all heavy breathing and smelling her hair and then jumps up when she shouts Brahms? Idk I def think there is some sort of abandonment issue going on. 

I don’t think he is a child stuck in a man’s body or manchild or whatever. I think that he does know how to take care of himself - but he just chooses to manipulate people with the facade of a kid to do his bidding and cater to his needs. 

Anywhomst, but clearly Brahms is also a very manipulative and controlling person based, based on how the mother was reacting on the destroyed bedroom, she really seemed to be at the end of her wits and just breaking down with her “you promised you’d be good”. It was very heartbreaking to watch and also scary because it really makes you realize just how much power Brahms holds over them?? idk maybe it was just me.

Next point: the CGI mask  + the burns 

So according to some interviews with the director stated that at the first test streaming, people weren’t really scared of Brahms because he was too handsome so they had to slap a mask over his face. The face was done after everything was filmed. I’m thinking the face burns were also added post-production when they were adding the cgi mask. Otherwise, James would have needed to go through the makeup department for some wicked face burns and it would have been visible during the filming and test screening too? Which would imply that at first the fire was supposed to be just  a cover story that their son is dead and it was changed later

Observation/thoughts on Brahms Heelshire

Love how he stands there with his hands behind his back and then nods when Greta tells him to go under the cover

James Russell is 191cm tall. So like. Brahms is really fucking tall. But I notice that most of the time he stands with a slight hunch. Could be due to him crawling through the walls and crawling out of places that requires him to do a lot of crouching. His bed in his hideout made me really sad, I’ll get to it later. 

Since James didn’t get many lines in the ten minutes that he appeared, I do think that his eyes did all the acting. They stand out even more with the mask on, there is just this crazy look on it. I also noticed during my rewatch that he doesn’t seem to blink much or at all. 

Oh yeah, he also peeped on Greta and Malcolm making out on the bed and then cockblocked them. We been knowing that he made a Greta doll and very likely jerked off to it. We also been knowing that he very very very likely wanted to bone Greta at the goodnight kiss scene still waiting for the maskeless kiss scene gimme gimme. I also highly doubt that Brahms has much first-hand experience with kissing n stuff. High key thinking he was trying to do copy Malcolm and do what he observed lmao

When I first watched the scene, I assumed that the hole behind the mirror has always been and it’s just another one of the hidden passages Brahms to slip in and out, but now that I’m looking at the shape of the holes, it seems to me more like the mirror and brick wall were broken at the same time?? If that is the case holy shit boy is s t  r o n g. I mean, he also punched through the closet door like no big deal so really what have the parents been feeding him. 

I’m also leaning toward the fact that he ran there because Greta screamed loudly. I don’t think he was in the room as them when everything went down there, it seemed more like he heard the scream and had to nyoomed over and then punched a way through to get out of the wall. And then went on to attack Cole. He must have known that Greta wanted Cole gone, since that what she whispered to the doll before going to bed. 

Tbh, I fully expected him to murder Cole in his sleep, but Brahms wrote a warning message in blood to tell him to get out soooooo like. Cole you were warned and now you gotta live with the consequences ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Brahm’s sleeping corner

This scene was shown at the end after Greta and Malcolm escaped. We also see them briefly during the part where Greta and Malcolm are trying to find a way out and stumbled into Brahms’ hideout. I’m not sure why the rules are slapped on the walls. It seems to me that Brahms is very very very set on that the rules / routine should be followed. In the movie, he called Greta and suggested to her that she should follow the rules, to which she then started doing it.

I headcanon that that’s the routine that he grew up with as a kid and it’s just very very very very very hard to break out of it - not that he is trying to break the routine. 

I’m failing to find a good way to put my thoughts into words, but I guess the rules and routine is sort of his coping mechanism? 

I suppose if you had an OC that you ship Brahms with and want to change stuff around the house, the OC would have to very slowly introduce new rules and routines. Baby steps, yknow.

Brahms has a violin hanging there! Honestly I would be surprised if Brahms didn’t know how to play at least one instrument. The family also has an old ass piano/clavichord (?) and Brahms loves classical music soo yeah. Love me a boy who appreciates classical musical hehe

I suppose the egg boxes are there to soundproof the room more - maybe so he can play the violin? 

There’s also music sheets hung around his attics, it’s not clear on the screenshots but when you rewatch the scene and shove your face close to the screen. Some are hanging next to the violin and there are some taped on the wall next to his bed and porn too

nice to see he has a fridge and microwave, I was concerned that he wasn’t well fed and that leftovers might not be enough, but then again. Dude is 191 cm so clearly he has been drinking his milk

Didn’t take a screenshot of his vanity, but there is a crocodile magnet stuck to the mirror hehe. I do think that he shaves and stuff, otherwise his beard would be much longer??

We can see more music sheets stuck to a pillar on the right. 

Loving the christmas lights that he has hanging there above his bed. It’s cute. 

On the shelf he has a bunch of tupperware and empty bowls. Most of hte things are neatly organized. We can also see some books and a pen

There’s some sunlight streaming inside - I do hope that Brahmsy stays warm during winters.

Here we can see more of the food that he has there - there is also a sink but I didn’t snatch a screenshot of it. I think those are potatoes in the pot? Maybe he does know how to cook some basic stuff, I do wonder if he has a functioning kitchen up there. Probably not for fire safety reasons lol

Yall see that thing on the note sheet covered pillar? Ngl, that’s a whole ass aesthetic right there.

He got a few potted plants up there. Took a closer look at them and it seems like they were healthy. So he knows how to take care of plants, which is nice to know I suppose?

Yes, we all know what he was doing with the doll and what the tissue balled up tissue implies. However, has anyone noticed the size of the bed??? 

If you scroll up a bit to the screenshot of Greta seeing the doll, it looks t i n y. The make shift doll takes up more than half of the space. 

Yall. this breaks my heart. Dude is a beanstalk. I’m pretty sure the bed is from when he was a kid shoved by his parents to live inside the wall, does he have to sleep there in his adulthood too??? 

Even though Brahms strikes me as someone who probably doesn’t sleep much or during normal times, that bed must be so tiny for him. He must be sleeping with his knees bend and shit unable to stretch out :((( 

Brahms: is a psychopath that smashed the skull of a girl and very abusive tormented his parents and then Greta Me: omg he needs a bigger bed that poor thing :(((

Brahms’ DIY corner 

Ah yes, Brahm’s little DIY/creative corner. 

Homeboy got lot of animal traps, cages and taxidermies hanging around, pointing strongly toward that it’s a hobby of it? 

Also at the end where we see him fixing up the doll, we can get a better shot at his desk, and I gotta say the threads and stuff are all very nicely organized. Brahms’s table looks more organized than mine does lmao. 

So we know he is a crafty boy. Not sure how difficult taxidermy is but I imagine it does take a lot of time to learn? Well he had all the time in the world anyway.

So yeah, that’s a wrap. Congrats if you made it to the bottom of my incoherent thoughts and ramblings, have a bonus drawing of Brahms wearing different masks: 

[wiypt-writes]

Too Loose And You’ll Lose It

Chapter 4: You Don’t Know What You’ve Got Till It’s Gone Part 2 Co-written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​

Summary: Jake and Stella are both home for Christmas, and the annual New Year’s Party at the Jensen’s sees some unexpected guests in attendance…

Warnings: Bad Language words.

Pairing: Jake Jensen x OFC Stella Stevenson.

TLAYLI Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 4 Part 1

Jake’s eyes were focussed on the film on the large, flat screen TV that his mom had bought his dad for Christmas. Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire was playing on the movie channel, one of his guilty pleasures. He and Stel had seen all the movies on opening night to date, the pair of them huge Potter Heads. At the other end of the couch, Britney was painting her nails a bright, glittery pink colour whilst Jensen was simply doing his best to ignore her although the fumes of the nail polish were getting right up his nostrils and making it almost impossible.

The door to the lounge clicked open and the family’s black Labrador trotted in, his tail wagging and thumping on the coffee table.

“Hey Sirius…” Jake muttered, reaching over to scratch his ear.

“Who’s serious?” Britney frowned and looked at him “What?”

At that point Gracie walked into the room and plopped down next to Jake.

“Are you being serious?” Jake looked at Britney “The dog, his name is Sirius, as in Sirius Black…from Harry Potter”

He was met with a blank look.

“The film is literally on the TV…” Jake pointed.

Another blank look.

Gracie glanced at Jake and he rolled his eyes.

“It’s a cool name. Stelly picked it.” She answered Britney.

“Stelly?”

“God, what is in that nail polish?” Jake grumbled to himself as once more he turned to look at Britney “Stella, you met her.”

“Oh the loser girl!”

“Stella isn’t a loser.” Gracie spoke again in an affronted tone just as Jane entered the lounge and crossed to sit in the armchair.

“Oh, I didn’t mean it like that honey.” Britney smiled. Grace looked at her, then to Jake who was doing his best not to meet his niece’s gaze as she was clearly disgusted that Britney had, in her eyes, insulted her favourite ever person.

“It was really supposed to be our dog.” Jake shrugged, trying to move her conversation on.

“Your dog?”

This time it was Jane’s turn to sigh at Britney’s dim-wittedness.

“Stella and I got him from a rescue.” Jake explained, his eyes not moving from the screen “But we couldn't take him with us when we signed up so he ended up staying here.”

“Speaking of Stel.” Jane looked at Jake “We bumped into her and Evan at the mall”

Okay, so that got his attention. His head whipped round and he frowned at his sister “Evan?”

“Yes, her boyfriend dur.” Gracie rolled her eyes.

“What’s he doing here?”

Jane smiled at Jake sympathetically “Apparently he showed up this morning, wanted to surprise her.”

“He’s coming tonight.” Gracie smiled “I invited him.”

“Great…that’s great.” Jake looked at Jane who popped her right shoulder, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Awww yeah, it'll be fun!” Britney grinned.

“You literally couldn’t remember who she was like 5 seconds ago.” Jake rolled his eyes.

“I know but then you reminded me, and when we met she seemed really nice.”

“She is,” Jane agreed “and so is Evan.”

“Yup” Grace nodded “He’s handsome and so cool. He bought me hot chocolate.”

“Handsome and cool...” Jake mocked, in a stupid, airey voice “I buy you hot chocolate all the time.”

“Yes, but not with all the toppings.” Gracie looked at him, sticking her tongue out.”

“He really is gorgeous.” Jane added and Jensen made an angry noise in his throat.

Fuck Agent Shit Name…

Gracie sniggered besides him and poked him in the ribs. “You’re jealous uncle J!”

“And you're 6. Like you know what that means.”

“I do too. It means when someone has something you want and you get upset or mad.”

Okay, so she does know what it means…

Britney laughed “Oh baby, I'm sure I can make you a hot chocolate if you really want one.”

There was a pause as everyone in the room looked at her. Jensen took off his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose as he screwed his eyes shut.

“He doesn’t want chocolate Britney, he wants Stel” Gracie replied.

“Oh, for f- Gracie!” Jensen glared at her as she shoved his glasses back on his face.

Terrific…this day just gets better and better

“What?” Britney frowned a little.

“Ok, Grace, come on...we need to check something.” Jane said, standing up.

“No we don’t.” Gracie frowned “You said I could watch TV when we got back to Nanny and Grandpa’s!”

“Do as your mom tells you.” Jake looked at her.

“You’re not the boss of me Uncle Jake.”

“Whatever Petunia.” Jake gently shoved her in the shoulder, pushing her up off the couch “Be gone”

“Petunia? I thought her name was Grace?” Britney looked at Jake who gave another heavy sigh.

“It is. The Petunias…you know what, forget it.”

Grace looked at Britney, as if she was trying to figure something out and then turned to Jane Mom? Why is Britney so-“ “Okay, come on…” Jane hastily cut her off “We said we’d help nanny before daddy gets here so…”

Gracie’s protests fell on deaf ears as Jane shooed her out of the room, shooting Jake another sympathetic and apologetic look.

“What did she mean you want Stella?” Britney asked.

Jake groaning, of course she hadn’t missed that bit “Who knows? Kids these days.”

“I love kids, can't wait to have my own” Britney smiled and Jake choked on air.

“Good luck with that.” He continued watching the film for another few minutes until he decided he needed another drink, and to escape the nail polish smell for a moment. “ I umm I’m gonna grab a beer, you want anything?”

“No, I’m good thanks.”

He stood up and wandered into the kitchen where his mom, Dad and Jane were all in a conversation and he had a feeling he knew what about, his suspicions confirmed when he caught what they were saying.

“You know what she told me yesterday when we met?” John arched his eyebrow “That it was funny Jake and I shared the same surname!” he shook his head “I just hope that cheesecake…” he pointed at the dish that Janet was covering in foil “…has more filling than her head because damned, you point a flashlight in her right ear it’s gonna shine right outta her left.”

At that point Jake’s mom caught sight of him and she nudged his father who looked up and round at Jake who met his eyes with a glare before he yanked open the fridge. “

“Everything alright son?”

“Ask your granddaughter.” He said simply as he popped the lid off his beer and turned back to the hall, taking a deep pull.

He let out a sigh, he had really gotten himself into a mess. He was stuck with Britney whilst he was gonna have to watch Evan and Stella all night. Terrific. Just…brilliant.  Clutching the bottle, he hovered in the door and glanced at Britney, taking a deep breath. Well, he might as well play the part he supposed, after all, she wasn’t a bad looking girl…not bad in the sheets either all things considered. Plus Pooch, Cougs and Clay were dropping in, all fancying a New Years out of their respective home towns of Springfield, Monterrey, with Clay coming from base, so there would be plenty of people to talk to.  

He knocked back another huge gulp of beer before he fixed a smile on his face and walked into the lounge. “So, Brit…” he asked, dropping on the sofa, turning to her, his trademark cheeky grin on his face “What you wearing for the party, and is it suitably tight?” ***** Pooch, Jolene, Cougar and Clay found themselves in the living room at the Jensen residency all clutching a drink and glancing at the various photos dotted around. Most of them were of more recent times, family shots but a one in particular caught Cougar’s attention and he whistled, nodding towards it. Clay smiled as he took in the shot of Jensen and Stella in their army fatigues, both at training camp. Faces dirty, rifles slung over their shoulders, huge grins on their faces.

“Oh, no, no this…this is the jackpot, right here!” Pooch grinned as he pointed to another photo next to it depicting the two the evening of their prom, taken in Stella’s back garden. "Look at Jensen in his penguin suit!"

He gave a little yell as Jolene slapped him “Don't be mean...” she looked at the photo. “Damned look at Stella's dress!”

“What about it?” Pooch looked at her.

“Nothing, it's just really nice.” She said. Cougar nodded, tipping his hat slightly in approval.

“You know, she hasn't changed a bit.” Clay smiled, looking at the photo fondly.

“Who hasn't changed a bit?” Jensen asked as he strode into the room, beer in his hand. Britney was close behind him, clutching a wine glass.

“Arty.” Clay said, nodding to the photo.

“Who’s Arty?” Britney frowned. Jensen turned to look at her, not quite sure if she was being serious or not. But, then again, knowing that her brain was basically a bag of cats, she probably was.

“Stella.” Cougar chuckled

“That’s Stella?” Britney’s eyes widened as she glanced at the picture “No wonder the girl in the photos all over your bedroom rang a bell.”

“You still have her all over your bedroom?” Pooch whispered to Jakey “And you’re sleeping with this one in there?”

“Shut the fuck up!” Jake hissed, glaring at Pooch who grinned, shrugging.

“I don’t understand?” Britney frowned “Why are there photos of her all over your room and here?”

The room fell silent and Jensen saw Pooch and Cougar exchanged a glance from the corner of their eye. Pooch looked like all his Christmases had come at once.

Fuck…

“You haven’t told her?” Clay arched an eyebrow and Jake’s attention turned to his Colonel, narrowing his eyes.

Why the fuck did I invite any of The Losers?

“Tell me what?” Britney pressed.

Or her for that matter, although technically, I didn’t…she invited herself.

Ignoring her, he took a sip of his beer trying to think of something to deflect the attention away from the impending shit storm. But Britney wasn’t for dropping it.

“Tell me what Jake?”

“Yeah, tell her what Jake?” Clay asked and Jensen growled.

“Son of a bitch…” he shook his head and turned to Britney. “Me and Stel, we used to ... date.”

“Exfil on way, strategic exit points through the front and rear doors…” Clay mumbled and both Pooch and Cougar sniggered as Britney blinked, processing the information Jake had just downloaded. As they watched, her heavily made up face set and her bright pink lips pressed together.

“Oh, I see. So that’s what Grace meant before…”

Clay, Cougar, Jolene and Pooch all looked at one another before Cougar held up his bottle of Corona.

“My beer is empty so…” he gestured to the lounge door.

“Mine too.” Clay said eagerly.

“And me.” Pooch agreed. He turned to Jolene who was glaring at him, a ‘don’t you dare leave me with them’ look on her face, so Pooch grabbed her hand and tugged her behind him, out into the hallway.  

“Just when I think he can't possibly get any dumber.” Pooch shook his head as Clay glanced back into the room where Britney and Jensen were now in quite a heated discussion.  

“Well, I think that one is on us.” He turned to the rest of the team. Cougar snorted and they all made their way into kitchen just in time to see Stella and her mom enter, followed by Evan who had been holding the door open for them. Julie beamed at Clay who gave a low chuckle and stepped forward.

“Hey Jules" he wrapped her in a warm hug “Long time no see. How you been?”

As her mom returned Clay’s greeting Stella, who wasn’t really listening as she had just seen Pooch and Cougar, grinned and pushed past. “Oh my God! You guys are here!” She gave each of the men a hug and then turned to Jolene “Oh, it’s so good to see you!”

“Hey man!” Pooch smiled as he shook Evan’s hand, the man then turning to Cougar and finally Clay who had returned to their gang.

“Good to see you all again!” Evan enthused, before he politely kissed Jolene on the cheek when Stella introduced them. She’d just turned back to the woman to ask how the wedding prep was going when she felt a tap on the shoulder. Turning, her face broke into a huge smiled as Jake’s dad beamed back at her “Hey John!"

John hugged her tightly, kissing her head. “My favourite girl, looking as gorgeous as always!”

“I heard that, Dad!” Jane scoffed as she appeared at the side of them “Fucking rude!”

“I mean my favourite non-daughter girl.” He shrugged, laughing as Jane shoved him out of the way to hug Stella and then Evan.

“Good to see you again Evan.”

“You too Jane.” He beamed, before he turned to John “You must be Mr Jensen.”

“Oh, call me John, son!” he shook his hand and Stella groaned.

“Oh my God, Ev, sorry…that was so rude...let me...where's Janet?” she began looking around and Evan chuckled, wrapping his arm round her shoulder, pulling her into him a little, her cheek pressing against his soft blue sweater.

“It’s fine, Pumpkin. Stop worrying.”

But she was worrying, well not worrying exactly, maybe flapping was a better word. She was flustered because she’d never had to really introduce her man to anyone before, as everyone knew Jake...and not to mention the party was taking place at Jake’s parents. It was a little awkward, but her and Jake were over and she wanted to remain on good terms with the family she’d basically grown up a part of. She looked around, searching for Jakes mom so she could introduce Evan and her eyes stopped on Jake and Britney as they walked into the kitchen. As Stella watched, Jake hissed something to the Blonde and Stella could tell he was pissed. She knew the look well.

As he finished saying whatever it was he was saying, he looked up and saw Stella watching. They locked eyes for a second from opposite sides of the kitchen and Stella gave him a small smile. He returned it, and then looked away as Evan slid an arm round her waist, kissing her temple. Stella grinned at Evan, then spotted Janet walking towards her.

“Oh Stella, it's so good to see you sweetheart!”

“Janet, it hasn’t been that long this time!” Stella laughed “We were at the spa like 3 days ago!”

“I know but, well, considering how much time you used to spend here it still feels strange.” Janet sighed and Stela gave her a sad smile in return.

“Well, I wouldn’t miss a Jensen New Years’ party for the world.”

Janet beamed and gently touched Stella’s cheek before she turned to Evan, smiling hugely at him. “You must be Stella’s boyfriend.” Stella groaned as Evan nodded and shook Janet’s hand politely before he kissed her cheek “God I'm so bad at this introduction crap. This is Janet, Jake’s mom.” “Yeah, I kinda figured that one out sweetheart” Evan teased and she nudged him with her elbow, causing him to laugh.

At that point Gracie skipped over, tugging at Janet’s top “Nanna, mum says that…oh!” The small girls eyes grew wide and she grinned “Evan!”

“Hey kiddo!” Evan smiled down at her as she hugged his waist. Stella glanced round to see Jake, who was stood with the rest of the losers watching with a sullen look on his face, clearly not intending on saying hi any time soon. She rolled her eyes and turned to Janet.

“Is it ok if we get a drink?”

“Stella, since when have you ever asked for anything at this house?” she admonished her “Help yourself.” She turned Evan “You too, make yourself at home.” “Thank you, Mrs Jensen. It was really kind of you to let me come”

“Oh, it’s a pleasure having you here dear. Stella is like part of this family”

Evan smiled “Yeah, she has that effect on people.”

Stella blushed a little as he dropped and arm round her shoulder, the pair of them moving to the fridge for a couple of beers before Stella suggested they go back to The Losers. Evan agreed, allowing her to lead the way, his hand dropping to the bottom of her back as they weaved through the room.

“Hi JJ.” Stella looked at Jake as they reached her teammates. “Were you planning on saying hi to us eventually?”

“Hi.” Came the curt response.

“Articulate.” Stella rolled her eyes and she turned to the blonde besides him. “Hi Britney, I don’t think you’ve met Evan have you?” she turned to Evan “Ev this is Britney, Jake’s girlfriend.” As she spoke the last word Stella’s eyes met Jake’s, a look of something that could almost pass as an apology crossed his face, but it was gone almost as soon as it had appeared.

Especially as at that point they both heard Rey’s voice across the room.

“Oh God.” Jake and Stella groaned in unison and Jake arched an eyebrow.

“Was wondering when they were gonna show up.”

“Well, they’re fashionably late. You know them!”

“Speaking of late, no sign of baby Dick yet?” Jensen asked.

“Nope. Bad PH, remember?” Stella smirked at Jensen and he grinned. There was a moment where they simply looked at one another and Stell swallowed.

“Suppose I best go… “ she jerked her head, then turned to Evan “You haven’t met Dick yet.”

“Dick?” he asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Rey’s husband. Richard…Rick as she calls him, Rick the Dick to everyone else…well, me and Jake anyway.” She smiled at the Losers “Be right back.”

Jensen watched her go, his scanning her up and down as he noticed the back of her outfit for the first time. The tight grey sweater she was wearing had a scooped backline that dropped below her shoulder blades. Her dark, grey jeans clung to her, showing off her ass and her high heeled ankle boots accentuated her long legs. He felts a nudge to his ribs and he turned to look at Britney.

“Can I get another drink or…”

Jake took a deep breath, suddenly thinking to himself about how Stel just helped herself before he smiled. As much as she was irritating at times, Brit was sweet and he didn’t want to be cruel to her. “Sure, I’ll grab you one.” **** As with all these types of parties, the night passed in a whirl of laughter, drinks, chattering and reminiscing, although Jake made sure to avoid Stella and Evan as much as possible. Not because he wanted to but because he felt he needed to. Their exchange before had been friendly enough, and it wasn’t like they were on bad terms but he didn’t want anything to be awkward for her. Jake knew how much it meant for her to actually be in the country on New Year’s and he wasn’t going to take that away from her.

“Oh, oh…” his dad suddenly called out loudly, from where he was stood next to Jake, the entire Jensen family congregated by the fridge “We’re in the last minute guys!!” various cheers rang out across the room “Do we all have a drink? Let’s get ready!”

“Ready for what?” Britney asked. Jensen looked at her. Jesus Christ…

“For the reading of the constitution Sweetie!” John said, looking at Jake who rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.  

“It's the countdown, Brit. For New Year.”

“Oops, what am I like?” she snorted, grabbing Jake’s arm. “I guess I did it again. I’m so ditzy.”

Jensen blinked and his dad exchanged a look with Jane’s husband, Robert, the pair of them letting out huge howls of laughter.

“Oops I did it again… man…I can’t…” Robert snorted as Jane shot him a filthy look. Across from him, Janet gave John a slap round the back of the head and he let out a yell, before he turned to her and grinned.

“Oh, hit me baby, one more time” he smirked, pressing a kiss to her lips.

Robert’s howls of mirth drowned out Jensen groans, as his eyes scanned the room. Everyone was busy grabbing a glass of champagne from the side and he saw Jolene talking to Stella. As he watched Evan appeared at her side, passing her a flute of bubbles before giving her a gentle kiss. She smiled at him and then turned back to Jolene with that familiar red tinge to her cheeks that she always sported when she was flustered…or excited, Evan’s hand gently on the small of her back, hovering over the curve of her ass.  Jake felt a horrible twist in his gut at the sight of it. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Stella to be happy but, well, there was just something about Evan that he couldn’t quite figure out. Everyone seemed to love the bastard, hell even his own mom and sister had been waxing lyrical about him all evening, like he was perfect.

Too perfect maybe.

Once Stella, Jolene and Agent Shit Name had left the area he grabbed 2 full flutes and turned back, handing one to Britney with a forced smile, just as his dad gave another yell and the countdown started, voices chanting out across the room as Gracie started jumping and shouting

“10, 9, 8...”

Britney turned to Jake “Oh let’s make a wish!”

“It’s a New Year’s count-down.” Jake said with a sigh “You’re not blowing out candles on a birthday cake.”

“She could always blow something else and make a wish!” Robert said, winking at Jensen. Jake rolled his eyes, the dirty joke that would normally have at least raised a grin from him fell flat and Robert yelped as Jane reached up to slap him.

“7,6,5”

Across the room, Evan curled his arm round Stella’s waist and pulled her closer, bending down to whisper in her ear. “I’m so glad to be here with you tonight Pumpkin.”

Stella swallowed, his sultry voice and intoxicating cologne swamped her senses and made her head feel slightly fuzzy. Or was that the alcohol?

She turned to him, smiling “I’m glad you’re here too.”

“4.3,2,1”

Britney’s nails dug into Jake’s arm as she squealed as the countdown ended.

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

She threw herself into his arms and kissed him. It was totally over the top but Jensen went with it, and then opened his eyes to glance over her shoulder and immediately wished he hadn’t as he was confronted with the sight of Evan and Stella locked in a really gentle, sweet but deep kiss. Jake had never seen another guy or man kissing her and his guts clenched as he watched.

Here they were, in the same room at NYE for the first time in years and they weren’t together. And Jensen didn’t like it, in fact he hated it. It was all wrong.

“He doesn’t want hot chocolate Britney, he want’s Stel…” Grace’s words echoed around his mind, trust a 6 year old to point out the obvious. Fuck, he did want her. He wanted her back. Real bad.

He untangled himself from Britney with the excuse of wishing everyone a Happy New Year and moved around the room, grateful to escape for a moment. He hugged Rey, shook Dick’s hand, hugged and kissed Jules and then…

“Happy New Year JJ.” Stella smiled softly at him.

He swallows, “Yeah, erm, back at ya, Stel.”

There was a pause, and it was awkward, in a way it should never have been, especially between them but eventually Jake moved forward and hugged her, closing his eyes. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, holding her close, breathing in the familiar smell of her perfume that she hadn’t changed in years, and it was too much. He stepped back, releasing her before he turned to Agent Shit Name and shook his hand politely. With another deep breath he turned and made his way quickly out of the kitchen and into the den at the back of the house.

He needed something stronger than beer.

He poured himself a healthy measure of his dad’s scotch and stood there, studying a few of the photos on the sideboard simply enjoying the peace, having finally shaken off Britney. Yeah, he was gonna have to put an end to that tomorrow.

Great. What a way to start the New Year off…

He stood there, lost in his own thoughts, for god knows how long, until a voice broke through the fog in his brain.

“Your father is as clueless as I am as to why you’re acting like that.”

Jensen turned to see Clay watching him and he rolled his eyes “Acting like what?” he asked, although he knew full well what Clay was going to say.

“Like a headless chicken, running around making the dumbest decisions known to man.”

Jensen groaned “I don’t need this Clay.”

“I beg to differ. Someone needs to knock some sense in you, Jensen.”

Jake sighed heavily as he shook his head, before he knocked back the scotch in his hand and reached for the bottle.

“Don’t think you’ve drunk enough?” Clay asked as Jensen shook his head, pouring himself another healthy measure.

“No, I can still see straight.”

“Jensen…”

“I need to forget Clay.” Jensen said softly, picking up the glass, his eyes on the amber liquid.

“Forget what?”

“That I love her” with a sniff Jensen knocked back the drink in one, wincing slightly before he wiped his mouth with his spare hand.

“Good luck with that.” Clay scoffed “Because the only person who’s been dumb enough to even try and deny it is you. But I got one question Jensen… why they fuck did you do your best to throw her into that guy’s arms?”

“I thought I was doing the right thing Clay, cutting her loose.” Jensen shrugged “I mean, I tried it 5 years ago and then...we just…”

“That’s not an answer.” Clay said simply.

“Look, I saw it in her eyes, when I said I got my posting overseas and we were gonna be split up.”

“Saw what?” Clay’s voice was ladled with exhasperation and Jake’s head tipped back in equal frustration as his voice rose

“Fear, Clay.” Jensen looked at him “Fear. I mean she never said it but I could tell.”

“Fear?”

“Yes, fear about what was gonna happen. She’d already lost her father, how could I ever put her through the possibility of losing someone like that again?” Jensen hung his head a little, glancing at the empty glass in his hand. Now he’d said it out loud, it sounded even dumber than it did in his head.

“Admirable, and you know what? I kinda get it bud, I do, but only one problem.”

“I know, it didn’t work.” Jensen shrugged, grabbing the bottle of whisky once more.

“No, it didn’t.” Clay looked at him, “For fucks sake Jensen, did you really think dumping her would just turn off her feelings like that?”

“Well, no, but, at at least if we weren’t together she wouldn’t have had to play the grieving partner part for so long, she would have been able to move on without feeling guilty…”

Silence fell in the room, punctuated by the sloshing of liquor hitting the crystal tumbler as once more Jensen poured himself a few fingers worth before Clay spoke once more.

“God you’re a dumbass.”

“Yeah.” Jensen nodded. “No arguments here.”

“Question is, what you gonna do about it?”

“What can I do about it?” Jensen shrugged “Looks like she finally moved on. Guess I did her a favour, huh? Left the door right open for Agent Shit Name.”

“You know, what it’s worth, as nice a guy as Evan is, I don’t think she cares for him half as much as she does you.” Clay’s tone was soft “Maybe in time she might but, well, I guess that’s up to you.”

“Me?” Jensen frowned.

“Yeah, you. And the way I see it, you got 2 choices” Clay looked at him. “You either roll over and die. Or you fight for your girl.”

Jensen sighed “She’s not my girl anymore Clay.”

“Only because you told her she isn't”

Jensen looked at him, contemplating his words and he wanted to argue back, he really did, but he couldn’t. Instead he shook his head sadly, as Clay laid a hand on his shoulder, gave it a squeeze and left.

Jensen stayed where he was for a moment before he topped his glass up and headed back into the hallway, pausing in the doorway of the kitchen. His baby blue eyes glanced around the room and stopped their roving as he saw Evan with his arm round Stel as they stood talking to Pooch and Cougar.

Fuck, Clay was right-he did have two options, and he knew which one he was choosing.

It wasn’t gonna be easy, hell, he didn’t even know if it would be possible because everyone was right, Stella and Agent Shit name really did seem good together. But one thing he did know is he could fight all day long, what did he have to lose?

Nothing, because as it stood he’d already lost it.

**** Chapter 5

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Too Loose And You’ll Lose It

Ch 4- You Don’t Know What You’ve Got ‘Til It’s Gone Part 2

Co-written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​

Summary: Jake and Stella are both home for Christmas, and the annual New Year’s Party at the Jensen’s sees some unexpected guests in attendance…

 Warnings: Bad Language words.

Pairing: Jake Jensen x OFC Stella Stevenson.

TLAYLI Masterlist  // Main Masterlist 

“Knowing what you don't want can often be more valuable than knowing what you do want.” Melchor Lim

Please Read Part 1 first.

 Jake’s eyes were focussed on the film on the large, flat screen TV that his mom had bought his dad for Christmas. Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire was playing on the movie channel, one of his guilty pleasures. He and Stel had seen all the movies on opening night to date, the pair of them huge Potter Heads. At the other end of the couch, Britney was painting her nails a bright, glittery pink colour whilst Jensen was simply doing his best to ignore her although the fumes of the nail polish were getting right up his nostrils and making it almost impossible.

The door to the lounge clicked open and the family’s black Labrador trotted in, his tail wagging and thumping on the coffee table.

“Hey Sirius…” Jake muttered, reaching over to scratch his ear.

“Who’s serious?” Britney frowned and looked at him “What?”

At that point Gracie walked into the room and plopped down next to Jake.

“Are you being serious?” Jake looked at Britney “The dog, his name is Sirius, as in Sirius Black…from Harry Potter”

He was met with a blank look.

“The film is literally on the TV…” Jake pointed.

Another blank look.

Gracie glanced at Jake and he rolled his eyes.

“It’s a cool name. Stelly picked it.” She answered Britney.

“Stelly?”

“God, what is in that nail polish?” Jake grumbled to himself as once more he turned to look at Britney “Stella, you met her.”

“Oh the loser girl!”

“Stella isn’t a loser.” Gracie spoke again in an affronted tone just as Jane entered the lounge and crossed to sit in the armchair.

“Oh, I didn’t mean it like that honey.” Britney smiled. Grace looked at her, then to Jake who was doing his best not to meet his niece’s gaze as she was clearly disgusted that Britney had, in her eyes, insulted her favourite ever person.

“It was really supposed to be our dog.” Jake shrugged, trying to move her conversation on.

“Your dog?”

This time it was Jane’s turn to sigh at Britney’s dim-wittedness.

“Stella and I got him from a rescue.” Jake explained, his eyes not moving from the screen “But we couldn't take him with us when we signed up so he ended up staying here.”

“Speaking of Stel.” Jane looked at Jake “We bumped into her and Evan at the mall”

Okay, so that got his attention. His head whipped round and he frowned at his sister “Evan?”

“Yes, her boyfriend dur.” Gracie rolled her eyes.

“What’s he doing here?”

Jane smiled at Jake sympathetically “Apparently he showed up this morning, wanted to surprise her.”

“He’s coming tonight.” Gracie smiled “I invited him.”

“Great…that’s great.” Jake looked at Jane who popped her right shoulder, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Awww yeah, it'll be fun!” Britney grinned.

“You literally couldn’t remember who she was like 5 seconds ago.” Jake rolled his eyes.

“I know but then you reminded me, and when we met she seemed really nice.”

“She is,” Jane agreed “and so is Evan.”

“Yup” Grace nodded “He’s handsome and so cool. He bought me hot chocolate.”

“Handsome and cool...” Jake mocked, in a stupid, airey voice “I buy you hot chocolate all the time.”

“Yes, but not with all the toppings.” Gracie looked at him, sticking her tongue out.”

“He really is gorgeous.” Jane added and Jensen made an angry noise in his throat.

Fuck Agent Shit Name…

Gracie sniggered besides him and poked him in the ribs. “You’re jealous uncle J!”

“And you're 6. Like you know what that means.”

“I do too. It means when someone has something you want and you get upset or mad.”

Okay, so she does know what it means…

Britney laughed “Oh baby, I'm sure I can make you a hot chocolate if you really want one.”

There was a pause as everyone in the room looked at her. Jensen took off his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose as he screwed his eyes shut.

“He doesn’t want chocolate Britney, he wants Stel” Gracie replied.

“Oh, for f- Gracie!” Jensen glared at her as she shoved his glasses back on his face.

Terrific…this day just gets better and better

“What?” Britney frowned a little.

“Ok, Grace, come on...we need to check something.” Jane said, standing up.

“No we don’t.” Gracie frowned “You said I could watch TV when we got back to Nanny and Grandpa’s!”

“Do as your mom tells you.” Jake looked at her.

“You’re not the boss of me Uncle Jake.”

“Whatever Petunia.” Jake gently shoved her in the shoulder, pushing her up off the couch “Be gone”

“Petunia? I thought her name was Grace?” Britney looked at Jake who gave another heavy sigh.

“It is. The Petunias…you know what, forget it.”

Grace looked at Britney, as if she was trying to figure something out and then turned to Jane Mom? Why is Britney so-“ “Okay, come on…” Jane hastily cut her off “We said we’d help nanny before daddy gets here so…”

Gracie’s protests fell on deaf ears as Jane shooed her out of the room, shooting Jake another sympathetic and apologetic look.

“What did she mean you want Stella?” Britney asked.

Jake groaning, of course she hadn’t missed that bit “Who knows? Kids these days.”

“I love kids, can't wait to have my own” Britney smiled and Jake choked on air.

“Good luck with that.” He continued watching the film for another few minutes until he decided he needed another drink, and to escape the nail polish smell for a moment. “ I umm I’m gonna grab a beer, you want anything?”

“No, I’m good thanks.”

He stood up and wandered into the kitchen where his mom, Dad and Jane were all in a conversation and he had a feeling he knew what about, his suspicions confirmed when he caught what they were saying.

“You know what she told me yesterday when we met?” John arched his eyebrow “That it was funny Jake and I shared the same surname!” he shook his head “I just hope that cheesecake…” he pointed at the dish that Janet was covering in foil “…has more filling than her head because damned, you point a flashlight in her right ear it’s gonna shine right outta her left.”

At that point Jake’s mom caught sight of him and she nudged his father who looked up and round at Jake who met his eyes with a glare before he yanked open the fridge. “

“Everything alright son?”

“Ask your granddaughter.” He said simply as he popped the lid off his beer and turned back to the hall, taking a deep pull.

He let out a sigh, he had really gotten himself into a mess. He was stuck with Britney whilst he was gonna have to watch Evan and Stella all night. Terrific. Just…brilliant.  Clutching the bottle, he hovered in the door and glanced at Britney, taking a deep breath. Well, he might as well play the part he supposed, after all, she wasn’t a bad looking girl…not bad in the sheets either all things considered. Plus Pooch, Cougs and Clay were dropping in, all fancying a New Years out of their respective home towns of Springfield, Monterrey, with Clay coming from base, so there would be plenty of people to talk to.  

He knocked back another huge gulp of beer before he fixed a smile on his face and walked into the lounge. “So, Brit…” he asked, dropping on the sofa, turning to her, his trademark cheeky grin on his face “What you wearing for the party, and is it suitably tight?” ***** Pooch, Jolene, Cougar and Clay found themselves in the living room at the Jensen residency all clutching a drink and glancing at the various photos dotted around. Most of them were of more recent times, family shots but a one in particular caught Cougar’s attention and he whistled, nodding towards it. Clay smiled as he took in the shot of Jensen and Stella in their army fatigues, both at training camp. Faces dirty, rifles slung over their shoulders, huge grins on their faces.

“Oh, no, no this…this is the jackpot, right here!” Pooch grinned as he pointed to another photo next to it depicting the two the evening of their prom, taken in Stella’s back garden. "Look at Jensen in his penguin suit!"

He gave a little yell as Jolene slapped him “Don't be mean...” she looked at the photo. “Damned look at Stella's dress!”

“What about it?” Pooch looked at her.

“Nothing, it's just really nice.” She said. Cougar nodded, tipping his hat slightly in approval.

“You know, she hasn't changed a bit.” Clay smiled, looking at the photo fondly.

“Who hasn't changed a bit?” Jensen asked as he strode into the room, beer in his hand. Britney was close behind him, clutching a wine glass.

“Arty.” Clay said, nodding to the photo.

“Who’s Arty?” Britney frowned. Jensen turned to look at her, not quite sure if she was being serious or not. But, then again, knowing that her brain was basically a bag of cats, she probably was.

“Stella.” Cougar chuckled

“That’s Stella?” Britney’s eyes widened as she glanced at the picture “No wonder the girl in the photos all over your bedroom rang a bell.”

“You still have her all over your bedroom?” Pooch whispered to Jakey “And you’re sleeping with this one in there?”

“Shut the fuck up!” Jake hissed, glaring at Pooch who grinned, shrugging.

“I don’t understand?” Britney frowned “Why are there photos of her all over your room and here?”

The room fell silent and Jensen saw Pooch and Cougar exchanged a glance from the corner of their eye. Pooch looked like all his Christmases had come at once.

Fuck…

“You haven’t told her?” Clay arched an eyebrow and Jake’s attention turned to his Colonel, narrowing his eyes.

Why the fuck did I invite any of The Losers?

“Tell me what?” Britney pressed.

Or her for that matter, although technically, I didn’t…she invited herself.

Ignoring her, he took a sip of his beer trying to think of something to deflect the attention away from the impending shit storm. But Britney wasn’t for dropping it.

“Tell me what Jake?”

“Yeah, tell her what Jake?” Clay asked and Jensen growled.

“Son of a bitch…” he shook his head and turned to Britney. “Me and Stel, we used to ... date.”

“Exfil on way, strategic exit points through the front and rear doors…” Clay mumbled and both Pooch and Cougar sniggered as Britney blinked, processing the information Jake had just downloaded. As they watched, her heavily made up face set and her bright pink lips pressed together.

“Oh, I see. So that’s what Grace meant before…”

Clay, Cougar, Jolene and Pooch all looked at one another before Cougar held up his bottle of Corona.

“My beer is empty so…” he gestured to the lounge door.

“Mine too.” Clay said eagerly.

“And me.” Pooch agreed. He turned to Jolene who was glaring at him, a ‘don’t you dare leave me with them’ look on her face, so Pooch grabbed her hand and tugged her behind him, out into the hallway.  

“Just when I think he can't possibly get any dumber.” Pooch shook his head as Clay glanced back into the room where Britney and Jensen were now in quite a heated discussion.  

“Well, I think that one is on us.” He turned to the rest of the team. Cougar snorted and they all made their way into kitchen just in time to see Stella and her mom enter, followed by Evan who had been holding the door open for them. Julie beamed at Clay who gave a low chuckle and stepped forward.

“Hey Jules" he wrapped her in a warm hug “Long time no see. How you been?”

As her mom returned Clay’s greeting Stella, who wasn’t really listening as she had just seen Pooch and Cougar, grinned and pushed past. “Oh my God! You guys are here!” She gave each of the men a hug and then turned to Jolene “Oh, it’s so good to see you!”

“Hey man!” Pooch smiled as he shook Evan’s hand, the man then turning to Cougar and finally Clay who had returned to their gang.

“Good to see you all again!” Evan enthused, before he politely kissed Jolene on the cheek when Stella introduced them. She’d just turned back to the woman to ask how the wedding prep was going when she felt a tap on the shoulder. Turning, her face broke into a huge smiled as Jake’s dad beamed back at her “Hey John!"

John hugged her tightly, kissing her head. “My favourite girl, looking as gorgeous as always!”

“I heard that, Dad!” Jane scoffed as she appeared at the side of them “Fucking rude!”

“I mean my favourite non-daughter girl.” He shrugged, laughing as Jane shoved him out of the way to hug Stella and then Evan.

“Good to see you again Evan.”

“You too Jane.” He beamed, before he turned to John “You must be Mr Jensen.”

“Oh, call me John, son!” he shook his hand and Stella groaned.

“Oh my God, Ev, sorry…that was so rude...let me...where's Janet?” she began looking around and Evan chuckled, wrapping his arm round her shoulder, pulling her into him a little, her cheek pressing against his soft blue sweater.

“It’s fine, Pumpkin. Stop worrying.”

But she was worrying, well not worrying exactly, maybe flapping was a better word. She was flustered because she’d never had to really introduce her man to anyone before, as everyone knew Jake...and not to mention the party was taking place at Jake’s parents. It was a little awkward, but her and Jake were over and she wanted to remain on good terms with the family she’d basically grown up a part of. She looked around, searching for Jakes mom so she could introduce Evan and her eyes stopped on Jake and Britney as they walked into the kitchen. As Stella watched, Jake hissed something to the Blonde and Stella could tell he was pissed. She knew the look well.

As he finished saying whatever it was he was saying, he looked up and saw Stella watching. They locked eyes for a second from opposite sides of the kitchen and Stella gave him a small smile. He returned it, and then looked away as Evan slid an arm round her waist, kissing her temple. Stella grinned at Evan, then spotted Janet walking towards her.

“Oh Stella, it's so good to see you sweetheart!”

“Janet, it hasn’t been that long this time!” Stella laughed “We were at the spa like 3 days ago!”

“I know but, well, considering how much time you used to spend here it still feels strange.” Janet sighed and Stela gave her a sad smile in return.

“Well, I wouldn’t miss a Jensen New Years’ party for the world.”

Janet beamed and gently touched Stella’s cheek before she turned to Evan, smiling hugely at him. “You must be Stella’s boyfriend.” Stella groaned as Evan nodded and shook Janet’s hand politely before he kissed her cheek “God I'm so bad at this introduction crap. This is Janet, Jake’s mom.” “Yeah, I kinda figured that one out sweetheart” Evan teased and she nudged him with her elbow, causing him to laugh.

At that point Gracie skipped over, tugging at Janet’s top “Nanna, mum says that…oh!” The small girls eyes grew wide and she grinned “Evan!”

“Hey kiddo!” Evan smiled down at her as she hugged his waist. Stella glanced round to see Jake, who was stood with the rest of the losers watching with a sullen look on his face, clearly not intending on saying hi any time soon. She rolled her eyes and turned to Janet.

“Is it ok if we get a drink?”

“Stella, since when have you ever asked for anything at this house?” she admonished her “Help yourself.” She turned Evan “You too, make yourself at home.” “Thank you, Mrs Jensen. It was really kind of you to let me come”

“Oh, it’s a pleasure having you here dear. Stella is like part of this family”

Evan smiled “Yeah, she has that effect on people.”

Stella blushed a little as he dropped and arm round her shoulder, the pair of them moving to the fridge for a couple of beers before Stella suggested they go back to The Losers. Evan agreed, allowing her to lead the way, his hand dropping to the bottom of her back as they weaved through the room.

“Hi JJ.” Stella looked at Jake as they reached her teammates. “Were you planning on saying hi to us eventually?”

“Hi.” Came the curt response.

“Articulate.” Stella rolled her eyes and she turned to the blonde besides him. “Hi Britney, I don’t think you’ve met Evan have you?” she turned to Evan “Ev this is Britney, Jake’s girlfriend.” As she spoke the last word Stella’s eyes met Jake’s, a look of something that could almost pass as an apology crossed his face, but it was gone almost as soon as it had appeared.

Especially as at that point they both heard Rey’s voice across the room.

“Oh God.” Jake and Stella groaned in unison and Jake arched an eyebrow.

“Was wondering when they were gonna show up.”

“Well, they’re fashionably late. You know them!”

“Speaking of late, no sign of baby Dick yet?” Jensen asked.

“Nope. Bad PH, remember?” Stella smirked at Jensen and he grinned. There was a moment where they simply looked at one another and Stell swallowed.

“Suppose I best go… “ she jerked her head, then turned to Evan “You haven’t met Dick yet.”

“Dick?” he asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Rey’s husband. Richard…Rick as she calls him, Rick the Dick to everyone else…well, me and Jake anyway.” She smiled at the Losers “Be right back.”

Jensen watched her go, his scanning her up and down as he noticed the back of her outfit for the first time. The tight grey sweater she was wearing had a scooped backline that dropped below her shoulder blades. Her dark, grey jeans clung to her, showing off her ass and her high heeled ankle boots accentuated her long legs. He felts a nudge to his ribs and he turned to look at Britney.

“Can I get another drink or…”

Jake took a deep breath, suddenly thinking to himself about how Stel just helped herself before he smiled. As much as she was irritating at times, Brit was sweet and he didn’t want to be cruel to her. “Sure, I’ll grab you one.” **** As with all these types of parties, the night passed in a whirl of laughter, drinks, chattering and reminiscing, although Jake made sure to avoid Stella and Evan as much as possible. Not because he wanted to but because he felt he needed to. Their exchange before had been friendly enough, and it wasn’t like they were on bad terms but he didn’t want anything to be awkward for her. Jake knew how much it meant for her to actually be in the country on New Year’s and he wasn’t going to take that away from her.

“Oh, oh…” his dad suddenly called out loudly, from where he was stood next to Jake, the entire Jensen family congregated by the fridge “We’re in the last minute guys!!” various cheers rang out across the room “Do we all have a drink? Let’s get ready!”

“Ready for what?” Britney asked. Jensen looked at her. Jesus Christ…

“For the reading of the constitution Sweetie!” John said, looking at Jake who rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.  

“It's the countdown, Brit. For New Year.”

“Oops, what am I like?” she snorted, grabbing Jake’s arm. “I guess I did it again. I’m so ditzy.”

Jensen blinked and his dad exchanged a look with Jane’s husband, Robert, the pair of them letting out huge howls of laughter.

“Oops I did it again… man…I can’t…” Robert snorted as Jane shot him a filthy look. Across from him, Janet gave John a slap round the back of the head and he let out a yell, before he turned to her and grinned.

“Oh, hit me baby, one more time” he smirked, pressing a kiss to her lips.

Robert’s howls of mirth drowned out Jensen groans, as his eyes scanned the room. Everyone was busy grabbing a glass of champagne from the side and he saw Jolene talking to Stella. As he watched Evan appeared at her side, passing her a flute of bubbles before giving her a gentle kiss. She smiled at him and then turned back to Jolene with that familiar red tinge to her cheeks that she always sported when she was flustered…or excited, Evan’s hand gently on the small of her back, hovering over the curve of her ass.  Jake felt a horrible twist in his gut at the sight of it. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Stella to be happy but, well, there was just something about Evan that he couldn’t quite figure out. Everyone seemed to love the bastard, hell even his own mom and sister had been waxing lyrical about him all evening, like he was perfect.

Too perfect maybe.

Once Stella, Jolene and Agent Shit Name had left the area he grabbed 2 full flutes and turned back, handing one to Britney with a forced smile, just as his dad gave another yell and the countdown started, voices chanting out across the room as Gracie started jumping and shouting

“10, 9, 8...”

Britney turned to Jake “Oh let’s make a wish!”

“It’s a New Year’s count-down.” Jake said with a sigh “You’re not blowing out candles on a birthday cake.”

“She could always blow something else and make a wish!” Robert said, winking at Jensen. Jake rolled his eyes, the dirty joke that would normally have at least raised a grin from him fell flat and Robert yelped as Jane reached up to slap him.

“7,6,5”

Across the room, Evan curled his arm round Stella’s waist and pulled her closer, bending down to whisper in her ear. “I’m so glad to be here with you tonight Pumpkin.”

Stella swallowed, his sultry voice and intoxicating cologne swamped her senses and made her head feel slightly fuzzy. Or was that the alcohol?

She turned to him, smiling “I’m glad you’re here too.”

“4.3,2,1”

Britney’s nails dug into Jake’s arm as she squealed as the countdown ended.

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

She threw herself into his arms and kissed him. It was totally over the top but Jensen went with it, and then opened his eyes to glance over her shoulder and immediately wished he hadn’t as he was confronted with the sight of Evan and Stella locked in a really gentle, sweet but deep kiss. Jake had never seen another guy or man kissing her and his guts clenched as he watched.

Here they were, in the same room at NYE for the first time in years and they weren’t together. And Jensen didn’t like it, in fact he hated it. It was all wrong.

“He doesn’t want hot chocolate Britney, he want’s Stel…” Grace’s words echoed around his mind, trust a 6 year old to point out the obvious. Fuck, he did want her. He wanted her back. Real bad.

He untangled himself from Britney with the excuse of wishing everyone a Happy New Year and moved around the room, grateful to escape for a moment. He hugged Rey, shook Dick’s hand, hugged and kissed Jules and then…

“Happy New Year JJ.” Stella smiled softly at him.

He swallows, “Yeah, erm, back at ya, Stel.”

There was a pause, and it was awkward, in a way it should never have been, especially between them but eventually Jake moved forward and hugged her, closing his eyes. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, holding her close, breathing in the familiar smell of her perfume that she hadn’t changed in years, and it was too much. He stepped back, releasing her before he turned to Agent Shit Name and shook his hand politely. With another deep breath he turned and made his way quickly out of the kitchen and into the den at the back of the house.

He needed something stronger than beer.

He poured himself a healthy measure of his dad’s scotch and stood there, studying a few of the photos on the sideboard simply enjoying the peace, having finally shaken off Britney. Yeah, he was gonna have to put an end to that tomorrow.

Great. What a way to start the New Year off…

He stood there, lost in his own thoughts, for god knows how long, until a voice broke through the fog in his brain.

“Your father is as clueless as I am as to why you’re acting like that.”

Jensen turned to see Clay watching him and he rolled his eyes “Acting like what?” he asked, although he knew full well what Clay was going to say.

“Like a headless chicken, running around making the dumbest decisions known to man.”

Jensen groaned “I don’t need this Clay.”

“I beg to differ. Someone needs to knock some sense in you, Jensen.”

Jake sighed heavily as he shook his head, before he knocked back the scotch in his hand and reached for the bottle.

“Don’t think you’ve drunk enough?” Clay asked as Jensen shook his head, pouring himself another healthy measure.

“No, I can still see straight.”

“Jensen…”

“I need to forget Clay.” Jensen said softly, picking up the glass, his eyes on the amber liquid.

“Forget what?”

“That I love her” with a sniff Jensen knocked back the drink in one, wincing slightly before he wiped his mouth with his spare hand.

“Good luck with that.” Clay scoffed “Because the only person who’s been dumb enough to even try and deny it is you. But I got one question Jensen… why they fuck did you do your best to throw her into that guy’s arms?”

“I thought I was doing the right thing Clay, cutting her loose.” Jensen shrugged “I mean, I tried it 5 years ago and then...we just…”

“That’s not an answer.” Clay said simply.

“Look, I saw it in her eyes, when I said I got my posting overseas and we were gonna be split up.”

“Saw what?” Clay’s voice was ladled with exhasperation and Jake’s head tipped back in equal frustration as his voice rose

“Fear, Clay.” Jensen looked at him “Fear. I mean she never said it but I could tell.”

“Fear?”

“Yes, fear about what was gonna happen. She’d already lost her father, how could I ever put her through the possibility of losing someone like that again?” Jensen hung his head a little, glancing at the empty glass in his hand. Now he’d said it out loud, it sounded even dumber than it did in his head.

“Admirable, and you know what? I kinda get it bud, I do, but only one problem.”

“I know, it didn’t work.” Jensen shrugged, grabbing the bottle of whisky once more.

“No, it didn’t.” Clay looked at him, “For fucks sake Jensen, did you really think dumping her would just turn off her feelings like that?”

“Well, no, but, at at least if we weren’t together she wouldn’t have had to play the grieving partner part for so long, she would have been able to move on without feeling guilty…”

Silence fell in the room, punctuated by the sloshing of liquor hitting the crystal tumbler as once more Jensen poured himself a few fingers worth before Clay spoke once more.

“God you’re a dumbass.”

“Yeah.” Jensen nodded. “No arguments here.”

“Question is, what you gonna do about it?”

“What can I do about it?” Jensen shrugged “Looks like she finally moved on. Guess I did her a favour, huh? Left the door right open for Agent Shit Name.”

“You know, what it’s worth, as nice a guy as Evan is, I don’t think she cares for him half as much as she does you.” Clay’s tone was soft “Maybe in time she might but, well, I guess that’s up to you.”

“Me?” Jensen frowned.

“Yeah, you. And the way I see it, you got 2 choices” Clay looked at him. “You either roll over and die. Or you fight for your girl.”

Jensen sighed “She’s not my girl anymore Clay.”

“Only because you told her she isn't”

Jensen looked at him, contemplating his words and he wanted to argue back, he really did, but he couldn’t. Instead he shook his head sadly, as Clay laid a hand on his shoulder, gave it a squeeze and left.

Jensen stayed where he was for a moment before he topped his glass up and headed back into the hallway, pausing in the doorway of the kitchen. His baby blue eyes glanced around the room and stopped their roving as he saw Evan with his arm round Stel as they stood talking to Pooch and Cougar.

Fuck, Clay was right-he did have two options, and he knew which one he was choosing.

It wasn’t gonna be easy, hell, he didn’t even know if it would be possible because everyone was right, Stella and Agent Shit name really did seem good together. But one thing he did know is he could fight all day long, what did he have to lose?

Nothing, because as it stood he’d already lost it.

[gumnut-logic]

One of my favs

Definitely an Allie night tonight (except for that very alluring photo of Virg earlier, and the incident with the mullet :D). I has no new fic to share due to the evilness of work, so here be a repost of an Allie fic I wrote for @ak47stylegirl​ during Fandomversary 2019.

Despite not being a Virgil focussed fic, it has become one of my favs.

-o-o-o-

Freckles

This was going to suck.

Alan taxied Tracy Two into her hangar and groaned. Thunderbird Two was up on her struts, over module four, obviously undergoing a maintenance cycle. Virgil would be on the floor and he had no hope of avoiding his brother.

Not going to stop him from trying though.

Post flight, a grab of his bags and he was sneaking.

Stealth Tracy. He could do it.

First things first, locate Virgil.

From where he was standing there was no sight of him.

“Hey, Alan. Good trip?”

He jumped and dropped his bags. “Hell, Gordon, give a guy a heart attack.”

His fish brother raised his hands in defence. “Well, excuse me. Next time I’ll send you a morse code welcome from the other side of the Island so I don’t disturb you.”

Alan let out a sigh. “Okay, I’m sorry. Great to see you, too.”

And Gordon was staring at him. “Are you hiding?”

“Gor-“

“What happened to your face?” And his sunnies were ripped off his nose. “Ho, ha, this is gonna be great.”

He grabbed his glasses from his brother and shoved them back on his face. “Shut up, Gordon.”

“Does Virgil know?”

“No, and I’m trying to keep it that way, so shut up.”

His brother grinned at him and held out a hand. “For a price.”

“Price? What price?”

“Help me flush Four’s sanitary systems.”

“Aw, god, Gordon, no! I’m not cleaning up your shit.”

“Heh, then I’m going to go get Virg and have a discussion about your face.”

“Gordon, please.”

“Nope, sanitary flushing or embarrassed blushing.”

“You suck.” He glared at his brother. “I’m going to remember this. Next time Scott is after you, don’t bother coming to me for help.”

For the briefest of moments, Gordon’s eyes widened before he regained his composure. “We’ll see about that. Have fun with Virgil.” The aquanaut wandered off.

Aaargh, Gordon could be such a...

Something clattered on the concrete on the far side of the hangar. Alan shrunk into Tracy Two’s shadow.

Okay. Let’s do this.

Grabbing his bags he slipped along the edge of the hangar until he reached the module train. Creeping around the far side of module six, he peered out the around its backend.

Virgil was hanging from Two’s thruster assembly, head buried in a hatch.

Okay, he might just be able to manage this.

Stepping lightly as possible, he crept past his brother towards the elevator.

“Hey, Alan, welcome back.”

Damn.

“Uh, hey, Virg.” He refused to look up and just waved casually, his heart beating like crazy. Maybe those several metres up in the air would save him.

“Did you have a good time.”

“Had a blast. Brandon sure knows how to throw a party.”

“So I heard.”

Heard? “Uh, I’m a bit tired I’m just going to go upstairs and unpack.”

“See you at dinner.”

“Okay.”

“Oh, and Alan.”

“Yeah?”

“Nice sunnies.”

He almost looked up. Almost.

“Uh, thanks. See you later.”

Not if he could help it.

He beelined for the elevator. One annoying brother avoided...mostly...one more to go.

The elevator was blessedly cool and he leant against the silvery wall while the car carried him up to the residential levels. God, he hoped he could make it to his rooms. He felt hot and just ugh.

The elevator stopped just short of his destination.

Damn.

The doors opened and he held his breath.

Brains and Max entered and the ride resumed.

“Max, honestly, I d-do not know w-what you were thinking.”

The robot sputtered at his creator, beeping madly.

“But that was G-Gordon. You h-have an entire d-directive listing regarding his behaviour. Y-you know not to do everyth-thing he asks.”

Another impertinent beep.

“That is exactly why you h-have an entire d-directive listing!”

Apparently they hadn’t even noticed he was there.

The elevator slowed at his level and he made a point of edging around Brains. Max beeped at him, but Brains had fallen silent, chin on hand, elbow on wrist, as if posing for a sculptor.

Alan didn’t care, he just wanted out of there and  threw himself around the corner.

Straight into Scott.

“Woah! Allie, welcome back! Hey steady there.” He wouldn’t admit it, but despite what he knew was about to happen and the suffering that would follow, it was good to see his eldest brother.

And kinda nice to be held by him too.

“What’s with the sunglasses?” He could almost count it down in his head. He looked up at those mirror image blue eyes and let his shoulders drop. This was so gonna suck. “Alan? What’s wrong with your face?”

His brother held both of his shoulders and peered at him. A moment and one hand gently peeled off the sunglasses. “Oh my god, Alan. What were you thinking?”

He let out a sigh. So busted. Who was he kidding. This was inevitable. “I guess I wasn’t thinking.”

“That much is very clear. You are going to the infirmary now.”

“Aw, Scott it isn’t that bad.”

“You have blisters, Alan!”

“I have?” He hadn’t really looked in a mirror since he left the Gold Coast. Brandon, of course, had laughed at him. It hadn’t seemed that serious. A bit of sunburn was all.

That’s what you get when you party all day in the Australian sun and forget your sunscreen.

Though come to think of it, he was feeling rather hot.

“Virgil, drop everything and meet me in the infirmary.”

“Aw, not Virg, really?”

Scott wrapped an arm around Alan’s shoulders and started to herd him towards the elevator. “He is the most qualified.”

“But it is only sunburn.”

The elevator doors closed behind them.

“Alan, you know I know you know all the symptoms of exposure, so don’t even bother.”

The arm around his shoulders was very gentle.

Virgil was standing in front of the elevator as the doors opened. How the hell he had gotten there so fast...but the expression on his second oldest brother’s face told him everything.

He hadn’t managed to sneak past at all. Virgil had been following him.

Nice sunnies indeed.

Virgil approached quietly, not saying a thing. One large finger reached up under Alan’s chin and tilted his head up gently. The medic sighed and a worried frown creased his brow.

But he didn’t say anything.

Virgil let him go and led them out of the elevator and into the infirmary.

Alan climbed onto the bed as directed and waited for the lambasting. After all, he knew he had been an idiot, and deserved every word.

“Where else?” Brown eyes were looking at him in concern.

“What?” Damn, he was hot.

“Where else did you get burnt.

“Oh, arms, hands, feet...and maybe my hair? Feels like my hair is on fire.”

“C’mon, lay down.” Scott was suddenly shoving a pillow under his head. The pillow was lovely and cool. His shoes were gently taken off and that was a relief in itself.

Virgil took his temperature and frowned even more. A glass of something was handed to him and he was told to drink. It wasn’t unpleasant, but it was obviously something medical. It was cool on his throat.

Grandma appeared and as with everything Grandma, it was fussing, hugs and, well,...love.

“Did Brandon know you were burnt this badly?” Something pricked his hand and he discovered Virgil had stuck him with an IV bag. Was that really necessary?

Gordon barrelled in. “Hey, Brandon has you on his vlog!” His brother held up his phone and all the family turned to watch.

And Alan saw himself for the first time.

Sunburn panda.

Omigod.

Very sunburnt panda.

In front of twenty odd million viewers.

“Thunderbird Five.” It was Commander Tracy who spoke.

His middle brother blinked into existence beside the bed. “What can I...Alan? What the hell?!”

“John, hack the Bear’s feed. I want those images gone.” John’s turquoise eyes lingered on Alan for a moment, before narrowing on the feed spouting from Gordon’s phone.

His voice was almost menacing in reply. “FAB.”

He blinked out.

Twenty seconds later, the Bear feed went offline. Rather abruptly.

Gordon was staring at Alan. “Allie, what the hell did you do to yourself?” Obviously the hangar had been dark enough to conceal at least a little of his colouring. “Blisters?”

Virgil was hovering with some kind of medicated cream in his hands. The next moment was absolute bliss as his brother applied the ever so cool, numbing wonderment to his face. He literally sagged into the bed.

“I was so, so stupid.”

“Yes, you were.” Virgil’s voice was a reassuring rumble. “But at least we know you won’t do it again.”

“No, no I won’t.”

John blinked in again and Alan found himself surrounded by his family. As Virgil started applying the cream to his feet, Alan suddenly wondered why he had been trying to hide from these people. Sure there would be nagging, perhaps some laughter and good natured ribbing, but...

Grandma reached over and draped a damp cloth over his hair. “Feeling a bit better, dear?”

“Yes, Grandma.” It was only a bit of sunburn, but... “Thank you, guys.”

“Don’t do it again.” Scott, as always worried.

“Look after yourself better, Alan.” Virgil, always caring.

“Don’t make me keep an extra eye on you.” John, always watching.

“A panda! I’ve always wanted to see a panda!” Gordon, always loving.

Grandma gently brushed a stray hair off his forehead. “Rest, honey.” Always Mom.

His family.

-o-o-o-

FIN.

[jedimasterkelly]

Shit happens when you're a woman. A lot of shit. Bad shit. And a lot of the time, you will run into doctors who do not listen to you. Will not care about you, and will not take you seriously.

This story is about the Great Cancer Scare of 2020.

I was 49, and 3 yrs post menopause. I was pleased about that, as it means no more period ever. I could deal with the occasional hot flashes, and the snapping of necks of anyone who dared bother me. Then in May of 2020, after the pandemic fully hit and the University I work at closed and sent all of us to work from home, I got very sick. Not from Covid, thankfully, but something else. I had started bleeding, and it wasn't menstrual blood. It was bright red and HEAVY. I was filling post-natal pads within 2 hours. I called the Women's Clinic where my OB-GYN lived. They couldn't see me until July. WTF! I called my GP, who got me in on an emergency basis, I mean, 3 yrs post-menopausal women don't just spring a leak, you know? My ovarian function had been almost nil for 3 years. He called my OB-GYN and demanded I get seen right away. They made an appointment for 2 weeks later. Keep reading, because it's quite a ride!

Seriously! 2 weeks later!

In the meantime, my GP discovered my thyroid was tanked out, so I was put on Levothyroxine 25mcg. It helped a lot. I started to feel a little bit more human, at least in the brain area. I finally got in to the OB-GYN, and he did a biopsy and trans-vaginal ultrasound. We got the results 2 weeks later and he called me in to go over them. He said I had hyperplasia with atypia. Cells were dividing rapidly, and he was very concerned. He recommended an endometrial ablation, or a full hysterectomy. At 49 he wasn't concerned with me having a sudden maternal urge (I have no kids), so he was fine with either choice. I decided on the hysterectomy, because why not? Endometrium grows back after an ablation, and why bother at my age? Just yank it all and let me get back to my life.

He said he didn't feel safe doing the procedure, since the cells were most likely cancerous and rapidly dividing, so he sent a referral to one of the cancer centers in OKC. I expected a call within a couple of weeks. I mean, really, if I have the early stages of endometrial cancer, they'd call me in immediately, right? Right?

Crickets. Literal crickets for 4 months! I was very concerned, hell, worried I was going to get full blown cancer and these jackasses weren't going to try and help me at all. I called OB-GYN several times during that 4 month period, and was told the cancer center in OKC wasn't returning their calls. I called them numerous times, and could never get a person on the phone.

I was told it was the pandemic. The pandemic was shutting everything down and causing huge backlogs for non-Covid issues to be seen. I told OB-GYN to refer me to the oncologist from Tulsa, who also worked once a month in Stillwater at the SMC Cancer Center. He didn't want to, he wanted me to see the doctor in OKC (who wasn't returning anyone's calls!) I called SMC Cancer Center and asked how soon I could get in with Dr. Thomas. His office called back within 2 hours asking for my chart and biopsy results. I had the Womens Clinic send my information to Dr. Thomas in Tulsa. Within a week, they called and had me on the schedule to see him in Stillwater on his next visit.

This is where the story gets good. And by good, I mean, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. Thanks for sticking with me this far.

Got in to see Dr. Thomas. I researched him and learned we have the same Alma Mater. That day, we were both wearing t-shirts from said same Alma Mater. Instant bonding! I also work in Administration at said same Alma Mater, so we spent some time discussing (gossiping) about my department since he had taken classes with a lot of my faculty during his undergrad. Then he got serious and handed me my biopsy report. He told me he was going to assume I wasn't shown this, since I am:

1. A Master's of Science graduate student in Education Leadership - this making me a researcher who knows how to do research, do research, and understand research.

2. Work full time in a Physical Sciences department at a Big 12 University.

3. Edit manuscripts for my Dept. Chair, thus proving I am scientifically literate. You can't edit scientific manuscripts without having a good, solid knowledge of said science. If he's alternating between "adsorb" and "absorb", I have to understand his research in order to correct his manuscript. This is important because his manuscripts have to be peer reviewed before they can be published in a reputable journal.

"Read it to me, out loud," he said.

I started reading from the paper in my professional scientist voice. It didn't take long before I began to falter as I came to the realization I had been lied to.

"Read it again," he said.

This time, I read it with a lot more heat in my voice.

Diagnosis: no hyperplasia with atypia, no abnormal cells detected

Dr. Thomas waited for me to explode. I didn't. I just stared at him in anger and horror. He offered to do another biopsy to make sure, but he suggested I fire my OB-GYN immediately and find someone who actually gives a shit about me.

I was still randomly bleeding, 6-9 weeks at a time, so we agreed on another trans-vaginal ultrasound and biopsy. The attached photo shows he took 3 samples from my uterus. He wanted to be sure.

A little ditty about endometrial biopsies:

They hurt like a motherfucker.

Take 2-3 ibuprofen before you leave the house to go to your procedure.

Relax. It usually only lasts a couple of minutes. The doctor normally takes 1 or 2 samples. Pinch, snip, clip, done.

Not this guy. He wanted to be surely sure.

He went for a 3rd pinch snip clip. My uterus seized up in the most painful spasm I ever had in my life. I almost came off the table. He was seated on a little rolly stool so he shot back away from me before I could connect his head to my foot. He triumphantly held up his little weapon of Uterine Destruction and declared, "Got it!"

"Yeah, you almost got your ass kicked mister," I growled at him.

"It was worth it to get this beauty of a sample."

So, after a biopsy of your uterus, expect some bleeding and cramping. I had severe cramps for 2 days. I was not amused. We're talking laying in bed with a heating pad and ibuprofen every 4 hours kind of cramping.

Got the results back in a couple of weeks. No cancer. No hyperplasia. No abnormal cell growth. He recommended I find a new OB-GYN fast. I decided fuck it, I'm done. I'm never seeing another OB-GYN ever again.

Dr. Thomas said several times he's convinced my issues are endocrinal. I filed that away in the back of my mind.

(if you ever do test positive for cancer and you are in the Tulsa area, I highly recommend Dr. Eric Thomas! Make sure you have a sense of humor with him.)

My GP started pressuring me back in March of 2021 to find a new OB-GYN. The Women's Clinic has several, but they have a fucked up rule you can't switch doctors there. So if you go there, you are stuck with the same doctor and can't move over to his colleague on another floor. I saw my GP again, and asked if he was still best buds with a gynecologist who had his own clinic. He was always full, and not taking new patients, so GP would have to call his buddy to get me in.

Which he did. Buddy-GYN's office called the very next day to schedule me in. He had been sent my chart and was concerned about the long bleeds (6-9 weeks in duration) and why the fuck were they happening after being 3 yrs post-menopause.

I went in for a consult in April of 2021. First thing out of his mouth, "Has anyone ever talked to you before about PCOS?"

I laughed.

I laughed because every GYN I saw over the last 20 years told me I didn't have PCOS, endometriosis, or any sort of hormonal issues. I was just fat, lazy, and a piggy pig pig. I actually had one OB-GYN tell me to go on The Biggest Loser. Fat shamed while sitting there naked on his table after an invasive exam of my female bits. Thanks a lot, asshole.

I told him about that. He informed me he could tell by LOOKING at me I have the classics signs of PCOS. I use an epilator on my crazy man-hairs, so he asked if I was tweezing or waxing. I about fell out of my chair. Nobody ever believed me that I was having to remove crazy thick hairs off my chin and neck all the time. He asked if I ever had ovarian cysts. Affirmative, I was diagnosed with ovarian cysts the first time one exploded back in 1994. He stood there, holding the bridge of his nose and shook his head.

"Well, going by your chief complaints, your abdominal circumference, history of bursting cysts, and no period for 3 years, I am saying you have PCOS."

He went on to discuss my need for an appointment with an endocrine specialist, he was convinced my thyroid tanking out sent my ovaries back into production, and now my hormones are all over the place, most likely, and I needed specialized care.

He must have talked to GP, because I soon got a call from the endo clinic to come in.

This post is already long and tedious, but I am happy to say I finally have 3 doctors who listen to me. My new Endo doc tripled my levothyroxine and scheduled a follow up blood test for next month. Buddy-GYN talked me into a pap smear and cervical exam in July as well. He also wants a mammogram, which I begrudgingly need to schedule so he doesn't chew my ass in July when I walk in with no results. GP is working on my other issues (weight, bad fluid retention, etc...). We discovered from a blood test last Friday my iron levels are dangerously low. I am now on a Rx iron supplement. I've always struggled with anemia, but it never occurred to me or GP to check my iron levels. If you're a woman, and you feel like absolute dog shit and your doctor can't figure out why, have your iron and electrolytes tested. It'll probably take about 3-4 weeks for me to see any results from the iron supplement, but I can already see a reduction in fluid retention.

In September, I have an appointment with Dr. Le at Integris in OKC. He's a bariatric surgeon. I have gained so much weight from having PCOS and Hypothyroidism that I need to drop a lot of fat fast. I'm pretty healthy - I don't have the normal problems obese people tend to have. I'm not diabetic, don't have sleep apnea, my cholesterol levels are good. I am what they call "healthy fat" which seems like an oxymoron. However, it will improve my chances of getting approved for a sleeve gastrectomy.

I turned 50 last week, and had to endure 3 decades of no one listening to me. I feel I lost so many years of my life and I can never get them back. I hope this post reaches a lot of younger women having issues. Keep looking for a doctor who will listen to you. It sucks we have to hunt for these unicorns, but they do exist. I finally have a good team who actually cares about me.

You have a right to be listened to! You have a right to be heard!

I was asked: Who are my doctors?

Dr. Daniel Brown D.O. Stillwater Physicians Clinic

Dr. Yasuto Taguchi M.D. Taguchi Women's Clinic

Dr. Wynter Kipgen M.D. Stillwater Diabetes & Endocrinology

[officialleotolstoy]

Oh Dolokhov Brainrot We’re Really In It Now, aka Dolokhov playlist annotations!

A note on the cover photo: I don’t really like this one but I got tired of looking at men on Pinterest so I gave up. The window symbolizes the rum window and the smoking symbolizes uhhhhh habitual bad life choices idk

Drinking game take a shot every time I say “it’s about the vibes”

Wrecking Ball - Mother Mother

“I break it just because I can”

This is THEE ‘I am going to cause problems on purpose’ song and that is like his entire narrative purpose!! Argue with me about this one I dare you

The Good, The Bad, and the Dirty - Panic! At The Disco

“If you wanna start a fight you better throw the first punch, make it a good one”

Partially its just vibes, I won’t lie. But also the consistent spoiling for a fight is very in character

Shoot to Thrill - AC/DC

“I’m like evil, I get under your skin”

It’s got I Am Morally Repulsive But Also I’ll Steal Your Girl energy which really hits all of Dolokhov’s character traits. And of course the added bonus of gun imagery.

Mr. Brightside - The Killers

“It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this”

I added it strictly for vibes, but then I realized the quoted lyric is very much him @ the Kuragins if you take the reading that he refuses to admit he actually like them but grows genuinely fond of them over time even though he initially got to know them with a lot of ulterior motives.

Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen

“Mama, I just killed a man”

The amount of songs that are on these playlists just for what are essentially your mom jokes since Dolokhov loves his mom so much is a little pathetic. But I’m not wrong! I can’t really put it into words but something about this song has Dolokhov energy.

Feel It Still - Portugal the Man

“Give in to that easy living, goodbye to your hopes and dreams”

A good deal of what I find interesting about Dolokhov is the internal conflict he has of knowing he’s become rather wicked and problematic but also not really trying very hard to change and almost enjoying it so a lot of the songs on here are about that, including this one. The “I’m a rebel just for kicks now” also very much screams Causing Problems On Purpose.

The Bidding - Tally Hall

“I like to take advantage of the bourgeoisie”

His whole role in volume one and two is to take advantage of the bourgeoisie! This song also oozes confidence and a sense of superiority that comes from being better than the sellouts in high society, Dolokhov’s not like other girls uwu (he really is, but I don’t think he would admit that).

Say Amen (Saturday Night) - Panic! At The Disco

“I could be better but baby it’s Saturday night”

Embracing his own wickedness! The idea that he knows he could be better than he is but he doesn’t want to take that opportunity...yeah vibes

Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) - Fall Out Boy

“I became such a strange shape from trying to fit in”

This is the epitome of the “woe is me I need to be purified” phase he goes through when he’s into Sonya. Also “I’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker color” reminds me of Comet Dolokhov’s stupid eyeliner <3

Some Nights - fun.

“So what is this? I sold my soul for this?”

There’s a long stretch of this playlist that just boils down to “Woe is me I need to be purified” crisis hours, because Dolokhov’s oscillation between embracing his own cruelty and trying to be a good person is super interesting to me. This song captures the idea that he’s still having fun and there’s some good there, but he’s also aware that he’s losing himself a bit

Roaring 20s - Panic! At The Disco

“I don’t even know me”

“Woe is me i need to be purified” crisis AGAIN. This song gets more to the annoyance with society as a whole and feeling kind of lost in it

Send Them Off! - Bastille

“Help me exorcise my mind”

“Please purify me 16 year old girl! I’m 27 this isnt creepy at all ahahahha”. I do despise Sonyakhov but this has the vibes of a man feeling his own evil and wanting a woman to fix it. Not a great look.

Easy Days (Demo) - Bastille

“I don’t wanna fall back again, back into the easy days”

Near the end of the “woe is me I need to be purified” phase when he’s kind of drifting back to his old ways and he’s like wait no- wait- and then he does anyway because he’s horrible. I also really like the acknowledgment that his horribleness is easy and pleasant for him, and he has to fight against that (and he loses that fight HDJAJJD).

Undisclosed Desires - Muse

“You trick your lovers that you’re wicked and divine”

This is a Dolokhov/Nikolai song I do not take constructive criticism. Undisclosed desires...not being straight...lots to think about! It feels almost like a corruption arc? Nikolai isn’t corrupted nor does their...fling (?) last very long but Nikolai is obviously enamored with Dolokhov despite him being The Worst so I think this fits. I don’t have enough songs for a Nikolai/Dolokhov playlist so I just add those songs to both of their individual playlists

Thnks fr th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy

“Thanks for the memories even though they weren’t so great”

Also mostly a Nikolai/Dolokhov song. This man has never ended a relationship on good terms, huh. Also. Sighs heavily. “He tastes like you only sweeter” never fails to make me laugh when I think about it in the context of Dolokhov post-duel being like oh?? You’re just a stupid WOMAN Hélène your brother and/or Nikolai is hotter than you :/ which is not exactly what I think happened but it makes me laugh to consider. Dolokhov ur bitterrrrr

Dangerous - Royal Deluxe

“I’ll be the last man standing here, I’m not going anywhere”

I feel like this has the vibes of his cruelty, especially in that bit after the Kuragins have died when he and Petya infiltrate the French army.

Another One Bites The Dust - Queen

“There are plenty of ways you can hurt a man”

He will hurt you and kill you so violently :) It’s about the vibes.

White Wedding Pt. 1 - Billy Idol

“It’s a nice day to start again”

In the exact inverse to his “woe is me I need to be purified” phase, he’s like ok yes i will pick up bad habits again and enjoy them because frick you! I read once that this song is about a relapse into drugs, but I’m making it analogous to his relapse into Terrible Person Behavior after Sonya’s rejection. Also the repetition of the phrase little sister does something for my brain idk, after we know he loves his mom and sister it just fits.

Highway to Hell - AC/DC

“I’m on the highway to hell and I’m goin down”

Like White Wedding, it screams acceptance of his problematicness. He knows he’s cruel and evil and he revels in it. This is the phase we see him in most I think.

Back in Black - AC/DC

“It’s been too long, I’m glad to be back”

I think this plays every time he gets reinstated to an army position he lost by being reckless earlier. Just kidding sort of but listen to this song and tell me it doesn’t have Dolokhov vibes. If you do, you’re wrong <3

Poet - Bastille

“I have written you down now, you will live forever”

This is just here cause he ghostwrote Anatole’s love letters and I think it’s funny. It’s MY playlist and I get to choose the barely relevant Bastille songs

St. Jude - Florence + The Machine

“Maybe I’ve always been more comfortable in chaos”

This one’s more scattered lyrics than an overall vibe. “Each side is a loser so who cares who fired the gun” has duel energy also.

Hey Look Ma, I Made It - Panic! At The Disco

Confession: I hate this song. However, it’s about the about the MOM R U PROUD OF ME vibes (she is. Should she be? Probably not).

Rich Kids - Bea Miller

“It’s never enough for the stuck up types”

The not coming from wealth and having to almost scam your way into being part of the aristocratic scene is very Dolokhov. Also in my mind the rich kid he’s roasting is specifically Nikolai.

Money, Money, Money - ABBA

“It’s a rich man’s world”

I’m not SAYING the wealthy man they talk about is Anatole but - [i am shot]. Scheming and clawing your way up to wealth is Dolokhovcore.

This Is Gospel - Panic! At The Disco

I literally have no justification for this other than that i think modern AU Dolokhov would vibe with it. Look at the amount of eyeliner he wears in Comet and tell me he didn’t have an emo band phase. You can’t.

Trouble’s Coming - Royal Blood

This is not about the words at all, it’s more about the vibes. It just sounds Dolokhovish to me, don’t ask me to explain.

Sleep Alone - Two Door Cinema Club

“They’re just ghosts and they can’t hurt him if he can’t see them”

This gives me post-Kuragins’ death vibes, and I can’t pin down exactly why? I think it’s the idea of being very alone and closed off.

Golden Days - Panic! At The Disco

I can’t put a specific lyric to it but it’s the vibes of looking back on your hedonistic youths with nostalgia and rose-colored glasses. Post-Kuragins’ death vibes again.

Go Get Your Gun - The Dear Hunter

“One foot in the grave, the other one’s kickin’ its way right down to hell”

All we see of him after the Kuragins’ death is just him being particularly cruel and reckless, almost careless. This feels like it encapsulates that energy.

The Fallen - Franz Ferdinand

“They say you’re a troubled boy just because you like to destroy”

I’m aware that a good portion of this song is about a Christ figure but I’m going to respectfully ask you to ignore that bit and just focus on all the Sketchy Things the guy does instead. Thank you. He does in fact like to destroy things! Señor Cause Problems On Purpose back at it again at krispy kreme, huh.

[anna-justice]

Lost or Found - 17

Summary: As Jay, Hailey, Kim, Adam and Kevin start their junior year in the wake of a tragic summer, the past year of their lives comes back to haunt them. If you enjoyed Pretty Little Liars, this is for you! *UPSTEAD/BURZEK High School AU

...

17 - Dancing On My Own ...

Jay stood on Hank Voight’s porch waiting anxiously. He only had an hour before he had to pick up Hailey and meet everyone to take pictures, but when Hank called him and asked him to come over he figured it must be important. 

The front door swung open, revealing a man that he hadn’t seen in a long time. It was hard for Jay, he had always been close to Hank and without Erin it felt strange to be a part of each other’s lives. Especially since he had been MIA since Erin’s body was found. 

“Jay.” He said, giving him a once over. Obviously surprised by the nice suit and dress shoes. “Come in.” Jay nodded and stepped past the older man into the house, taking in it’s familiarity. He hadn’t been in the house since the night Erin went missing and almost like someone hit rewind on a tape player, all the memories came rushing back. 

It was easy to put Erin out of his mind for the most part, he was barely reminded of her anymore. As terrible as it sounds, everyone had moved on. The pain of missing her didn’t hurt as much anymore. However, being there was bringing back the pit in his stomach. It was a different feeling though, as he walked into the kitchen, it was guilt not sadness. His heart didn’t ache for his lost love anymore, if he was honest with himself it hadn’t for a long time. 

“It’s good to see you.” Jay said, leaning against the counter. 

Hank nodded, “You too.” He said, turning to grab an envelope from above the fridge. “So, what are you dressed up for?” Hank asked, chuckling as he rounded Jay to stand opposite him. 

“Oh, Homecoming is tonight.” Jay said, glancing down at his yellow tie. It was the only clue about her dress that Hailey would give him. 

“You have a date?” Hank asked, cocking an eyebrow.

Jay swallowed hard, he wasn’t sure any teenage boy in the history of the world had been in this position before and he was not happy to be the first: Telling your dead girlfriend's dad that you are going out with (one of) her best friends. “Hailey.” He choked out, watching for the fury to cross Hank’s face. It never came.

“She seems like a good kid.” Was all he said before grabbing the manilla folder once again. Internally Hank was showing a different emotion. Even though he expected Jay to move on, and he hoped he would, he wasn’t expecting it so soon or for it to be the blonde that he had met a few times. 

“Yeah.” Jay said, you could cut the tension in the room like a knife. “Anyway, why did you call me?”

“Right.” Hank said, taking a breath and looking the young man in the eye. “This is going to sound a little crazy, but I need you to work with me…” Jay nodded cautiously. 

“Okay?”

Hank pulled a stack of papers out of the folder, “Jay. I think Erin is alive.”

…

By the time that Jay knocked on Hailey’s door , he had still not recovered from Hank’s news. It was crazy, it couldn’t be true.  They had all seen her body, they had all been to her funeral. Twice. His mind was racing as fast as his heart.

Hank had bank statements, photos of girls that could be Erin, even an eye witness, but Jay still couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t let himself, all it was, was a desperate father trying to deal with his daughters death. And that was exactly what he was going to say to Hailey, but when the door opened he was sure his brain had stopped working. 

Hailey looked absolutely breathtaking and that was exactly what she did, she took his breath away. But not the “subtle gasp” kind of breathtaking, it was the “knocked on your back, can’t move or even see, don’t even know you’re alive” kind of breathtaking. He was stunned, he couldn’t look away. Her blonde hair was falling over her shoulders in soft curls, contradicting her normal messy waves, the top pinned back. Her yellow dress was almost shiny and hugged her waist perfectly, then flaring out. Most importantly, she was wearing a soft smile as she stared back at him and Jay was convinced for a moment that she was an angel. 

“Hey.” She said, a blush gracing her cheeks.

Jay sighed, finally able to breathe again. “Hey.” He chuckled nervously, looking down and noticing her nude heels, something he thought he would never see Hailey wear. He smirked, nodding at her feet. “Can you ever walk in those?”

Hailey glared at him, “For your information, I can.” She said, confidently (and gracefully he might add) walking towards him. She stopped so close to him that their chests were almost touching. “And now I’m almost as tall as you.” She said, grinning up at him.

Jay laughed, knowing for sure that still had at least four inches on her. He smiled down at her. “In your dreams.”

They stayed like that for a moment, smiling at each other, completely unaware that anyone else around them existed, until they were reminded. “Well Jay, don’t you look handsome.” Trudy said from the doorway and Hailey jumped away from him, spinning around to face her aunt, who snapped a quick photo. Hailey felt her cheeks heat up yet again as she watched Jay nod a “thank you.” 

“Let me grab my clutch and then we can go.” She said.

Jay nodded, “I’ll be here.” 

Hailey rushed inside and to the kitchen where she had left it on the counter. She took a moment to take a quick breather. Her aunt was right, Jay looked handsome. Very handsome. In fact, Hailey was convinced that her heart literally skipped a beat when she saw him. Thank God for the pacemaker.

She grabbed her flower print bag and rushed back to the door, “Ready.” She said and bid her aunt goodbye. Keeping up with Jay was harder than normal with her added height as they headed for the truck, however, it was a little easier to get in the massive thing. 

Hailey couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but in the midst of everything being exactly the same as always, something felt different. Jay was smiling a little bigger and she swore she caught him sneak a glance at her before they pulled out of her driveway. At this point her brain was just a big pile of Jay Halstead related mush.

“Can you put the arboretum or wherever we are going into waze?” Jay asked, chuckling as Hailey laughed and nodded. In the perfectness that was the last ten minutes, Jay had completely forgotten about Erin and her possible resurrection. He almost said something, but after one glance at Hailey and how happy she looked, he couldn’t do it. He could give her this night, he could give all of them this night. He was sure that whatever problem existed now would still exist tomorrow, and at the moment, he wished tomorrow would never come. 

…

Kevin stood in his living room in front of their decorative mirror, fixing his tie for the hundredth time and attempting to forget that he was flying solo. Something that he had become very used to over the past few months. However, even though he was feeling extremely alone romantically, he was still married to football.

Thankfully his terrible performance in the second half of the first game of the season was terrible, he managed to recover well. He was an absolute beast on the field and he proved that time and time again. The forced point shaving had turned out to be a blessing in disguise. It had lit a fire under his ass burning hotter everyday. 

He was headed for the door when his mother intercepted him, claiming to want just a few more pictures. “Ma, I’m gonna be late.” He said, brushing down his suit jacket. 

“You’ll be fine.” She said, capturing her son's aggravated expression with a glare on her face. “Smile.” Kevin obeyed, flashing a bright smile for the camera. 

Kevin was attempting to leave again when Vinessa came running toward him. “Kevy!” She yelled as he scooped her up into his arms.

“What’s up little girl?” He asked, tickling her gently.

Vinessa laughed loudly, “Kevy, I haff to tell you a secet.” She said, not quite hitting all the right sounds. Kevin stuck his ear out to her as to say “continue.” His little sister leaned him and whispered in his ear, “Your fiend Erin told me to tell you dat she will see you soon.” She said and giggled. 

Kevin looked at her in shock. Whoever was talking to Vinessa was pretending to be Erin and now they were sending threats through her! He was terrified and mad as hell all at the same time. Looks like school dances would have to wait, he had to get to the bottom of this. 

…

Kim hung up the phone and frowned at her friends. “That was Kev, he can’t make it. He said it was a family emergency and to not worry.” She said sadly, leaning into Adam’s side. 

“What? No.” Hailey said, looking at Jay. “I hope everything is okay, with Vinessa and Jordan.”

Jay placed a comforting hand on her exposed back, trying not to notice how smooth the skin was. “I’m sure they are fine. He would tell us if there was something wrong.” 

Hailey nodded as Kim smiled big. “Well, we can still have a good time without Kevin, just not as good of a time.” She trailed off.

“Yeah, who is going to line dance with me now?” Adam asked, acting distraught. He cocked an eyebrow at Jay, who held his hands up.

“Don’t look at me man.” They all laughed before turning to Kim’s mom who had offered to help out with photos, along with Sylvie’s. She and Matt had tagged along with their group. 

Thirty fun (and painful) minutes later, Hailey stood posed with just Jay as Kim took their picture. His arm was around her waist and hers was on his back. She smiled brightly before shrieking as Jay tased her. She heard the camera click as she fell into him, no doubt looking like a crazy person. Hailey hated being tickled. 

“Hey!” She yelled when she finally got her balance. 

Jay shrugged, “I don’t know what you are talking about.” He reached out or her hand, catching her off guard again. He spun her around, Hailey laughing as Jay watched her. She was too gorgeous for her own good.

“That was so cute!” Kim called from behind the camera. Hailey blushed, feeling reality set in again. Her and Jay always seemed to get interrupted, not that there was anything really to interrupt. Jay laughed behind her, distracting her once again. He had gotten really good at doing that, it was a miracle she had an A in criminal justice. 

Jay watched Hailey walk towards Kim. Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked over and found Matt standing beside him. “Tell her.” He said and Jay looked at him in shock. Matt chuckled, “Trust me man, just tell her.” Jay looked at Hailey as Matt headed for his date. To him, she was the only girl in the room and he wanted to tell her just that, but how could he risk it when he had so much to lose?

…

Hailey was sweaty, her curls were already gone and at this point she couldn’t even feel her toes. It had only been an hour and it had already been an eventful night, complete with Adam pouring his drink down the front of Kim’s dress and Kim changing in entirety. Going as far as to change her hairstyle to “better match the new dress's neckline.” It had been a whirlwind. 

Hailey had barely caught her breath at one of the standing tables before Jay approached. They hadn’t spent as much time together as she would have hoped, it was loud and they had a lot of friends, not to mention all the girls that wanted Jay all to themselves.

The music changed suddenly and soon the dance floor was only filled by swaying couples. Jay held out his hand, “Dance with me?” He asked.

“Jay-”

“One slow dance, Hailes.” That was it, she was done. She was literally melting in his hands. “Just one.” 

Hailey nodded sheepishly, letting her hand slip effortlessly in his. He led her to the floor, pulling her close. Hailey sucked in a breath, she wasn’t prepared to be this close. 

“Did I step on your foot?” Jay asked, panicking slightly as she tensed in his arms.

Hailey shook her head, “No, you’re perfect.” Jay cocked an eyebrow at her words, he almost thought that he had imagined it. Hailey’s eyes went wide, “Uh, I mean, you’re a good dancer.”

Jay didn’t say anything in response, he just let his hands fall to her waist, pulling her a little closer. Hailey finally relaxed, wrapping her arms around his neck. She let her cheek rest against his chest, just focusing on him.

As much as Jay loved the feeling on Hailey’s head on his chest, he wished she would move it. He was sure that she could feel his heart thumping, and at this rate he wasn’t sure it was going to slow down. 

They swayed gently to the words of Journey’s “Faithfully.” Hailey let her mind wander, she wasn’t exactly sure how she ended up there, dancing (literally) around her feelings. This wasn’t her.

Maybe it was the song or the way that he was holding her, but Hailey's feelings became overwhelming. She couldn’t think of anything but him, she wasn’t aware of the crowd around her. It was just them. She lifted her head off his chest and looked at him for a moment. His green eyes searched her blue ones, never breaking contact. Hailey lifted one hand to cup his cheek and let her gaze fall to his lips before meeting his eyes again. She stood on her toes, reaching up and connecting her lips to his.

Jay held her close to him, kissing her back immediately. He couldn’t believe that this was happening again. Hailey arched her back, pulling him with her. Finally the two had to come up for air and they reluctantly pulled away. Jay smiled brightly, bringing his hand to cup Hailey’s face. He was about to lean again and show everyone in the room that she was finally his, but something in the distance caught his attention. Someone in the distance.

It was only a brief moment, a glimpse of a familiar face, a red dress popping out in the crowd. “Jay?” Hailey asked.

“I-I’ll be right back.” He said, taking off in the direction of the figure, leaving Hailey alone in the middle of the dance floor. 

…

A/N: Sorry for the long wait and don’t worry, the dance is far from over! ALSO, I actually remembered my tag list haha

@lissethsrojas @fuckyeahkillianemma @puckluck28 @chilly7188 @thebigapocalypsewolf @karihighman @upsteadheart @ruzek-halstead

[royalnugget42]

SPN is ending

And here’s my take on how it will go down, based on the limited knowledge we have. Please be aware that these are not foolproof predictions. Title analysis can only get you so far, and some of the titles are vague enough that they could mean just about anything. Still I’d like to try my best to predict the narrative based on how I would go about it and based on the vague references.

I’ll go episode by episode, include as many details as I can reasonably add, and try to keep my Destiel shipping goggles off as much as possible. Buckle up.

14

First one is pretty easy. Episode 14, “Last Holiday” promises to be kind of literal, with a mysterious figure appearing and giving Jack, Sam, and Dean the holidays they missed out on. However, I was curious, since Supernatural has a habit of including obscure or not so obscure references in their titles, if there was any other thing we could correlate this to.

There is actually a movie called “Last Holiday” starting Queen Latifah, whose character is diagnosed with a terminal illness, which results in her making the decision to abandon her boring life and live like a millionaire in Europe.

The idea of the fight with Chuck being a “terminal illness” on the horizon could be why now is the best time for these guys to live it up.

This possible reference coupled with the ‘last’ seems to say that this episode will be a sort of final moment of levity before the endgame. Past this episode there be monsters, lads. I’d also like to point out that since it will be just Jack and the brothers if the promo photos are anything to go by, this will be a good time to get in some forgiveness and family bonding for our characters before things go downhill again.

Looking at promo photos for this episode again, I’m not sure where, but the episode may also carry some development for the plot. I’m not sure whether the photos of Cas, Amara, and Charlie were for this episode or another one (since they are not listed as cast members for the episode on IMDb), but we’ll be seeing all of them again soon it looks like, and I can’t wait for Cas and Jack to go on a hunt together again.

15

This episode will be the beginning of the descent. We’re standing on the edge and staring into the void, and we’re about to take the plunge. How do I know this?

“Gimme Shelter”, the title for this new episode, seems to have a literal meaning of the characters continuing to try to hide from God. However, as usual, the title is also a reference, this time to a song by The Rolling Stones. The lyrics to said song are nice and foreboding.

Oh, a storm is threat'ning

My very life today

If I don't get some shelter

Oh yeah, I'm gonna fade away

War, children, it's just a shot away

It's just a shot away

War, children, it's just a shot away

It's just a shot away

Ooh, see the fire is sweepin'

Our very street today

Burns like a red coal carpet

Mad bull lost its way

War, children, it's just a shot away

It's just a shot away

War, children, it's just a shot away

It's just a shot away

Rape, murder!

It's just a shot away

It's just a shot away (3X)

The floods is threat'ning

My very life today

Gimme, gimme shelter

Or I'm gonna fade away

War, children, it's just a shot away

It's just a shot away (4X)

I tell you love, sister, it's just a kiss away

It's just a kiss away (5X)

Kiss away, kiss away

Cue nervous anticipation

This is definitely where things are going to really pick up plot wise. Most likely, more will be revealed about Billie’s Plan to Kill God TM. Although, the idea of Death herself leading the Winchesters to victory feels sketchy to me still. She is deliberately withholding all the details, and she’s doing it for a reason.

Something down the line is going to make the Winchesters angry with her, and she’s not going to tell them about it unless it’s absolutely necessary. I have a feeling what it is will get revealed in the next episode.

16

“Drag Me Away (From You)” has some very clear negative connotations, and on top of everything has a weird format. It could be based on the lyric from Africa by Toto, ‘it’s gonna take a lot to drag me away from you’, or a reference to the song “Drag Me Away” by Melissa Etheridge, whose lyrics mention angels, and are about resistance and perseverance, two defining characteristics of the Winchesters. However, I’d like to point out another correlation.

Like I said before, the title has a weird format. The only other episode of Supernatural with a similar title to this one is season 12 episode 12 “Stuck in the Middle (With You)”. That episode was about what seemed like a normal hunt, but was actually a mission for Mary by the British Men of Letters to get the Colt. In that episode, Cas came ridiculously close to dying a painful and slow death, which does not bode well for this episode if it’s correlated in any way.

If what I’m predicting for Billie’s plan is true, this episode will be where the viewers are clued in on the thing she won’t tell the Winchesters about. The brothers might not necessarily get clued in (like how they still hadn’t realized Mary’s involvement with the BMOL at the end of 12x12), but whatever Billie is withholding will have serious consequences.

For this episode, I predict that Cas will come absurdly close to death again, because I believe Billie’s plan involves him dying. Billie doesn’t consider Cas a member of TFW. Multiple times in the most recent episodes, she talks about how important Jack is, how important the Winchesters are, but never Cas, and it feels like a weird oversight.

“Ever since I got this new job, I stand witness to a much larger picture. You know what I see? You. And your brother. You’re important.” 13x05 “Advanced Thanatology”

“I told you Dean, you and your brother have work to do.” 15x12 “Galaxy Brain”

Surely Cas has a part to play, since he’s one of the main characters right? But Billie doesn’t trust Cas, as well she shouldn’t. Cas is a wildcard, an angel who doesn’t do as he’s told. He straight up stabbed her in the back, something that she was completely caught off guard by.

I could make an entire post about how Cas hasn’t played by the rules of the universe since season 4 episode 18 “The Monster at the End of This Book”, but I digress. The point is that this episode is probably going to shed some light on the true threat the team is facing. Which leads us into...

17-18

Here’s where things start to get muddy. The titles from this point on get vague, and without any solid information about the previous episodes, these could be headed anywhere.

“Unity” is the next episode, number 17, and that could mean a lot of things. In my proposed timeline it is after a supposed revelation about Billie’s plan, so maybe they feel more unified after learning it.

In Supernatural‘s usual story structure, though, it feels like this episode will probably be the buildup to what seems like the end of the villain, but will actually be the darkest hour.

The episode following right after this is titled “Despair” and I think that’s telling. Supernatural writers do this often, where the boys make a plan, and inevitably when they follow it something goes wrong. “Unity” is the plan being made and carried out, and “Despair” is either the episode where everything goes wrong, or the aftermath.

[EDIT: The title of episode 18 is actually “The Truth”, which I believe may still narratively serve the same purpose, but now I’m more convinced that this is where the Winchesters learn about Castiel’s deal and/or something that Billie has been keeping from them about the plan to kill God. Thank you to @kingofthecrossroads for the updated information.]

Before I go into detail about this two-episode arc, an obligatory

Warning: Shipping Ahead

To my eyes, “Unity” seems like the perfect place for Castiel’s arc to reach a breaking point. If I’m right, and this is the episode where everything seems to succeed, then what better time for The Empty to snatch Cas away from his happiness.

If I was a writer, and I was in fact planning on making Destiel canon, this is where I’d do it. It makes the most sense to have Dean and Cas finally realizing their love for each other be the catalyst for Cas “finally giving himself permission to be happy” especially if this episode also contains a false climax regarding the Chuck storyline. Cas has said multiple times that he’s “far from happy”, so there has to be something huge happen for Cas to get there. Not to mention, Cas would be a sort of vessel for the audience, simultaneously happier than we’ve ever been because we were finally right, and sadder than ever because Cas is gone.

“Despair” won’t just be despair that the plan failed. It could also be Dean’s despair at losing Cas, our despair at seeing our hopes for them dashed.

[EDIT: Again, the title will NOT be “Despair” it will be “The Truth”, but I still think it’s telling that Despair was a working title for long enough that it’s on the IMDb page, and if “The Truth” contains the truth about how Dean and Cas feel about each other, then this will still be a dark episode.]

Shipping over, let’s continue.

19

Now we come to another referential episode, “Inherit the Earth”. There’s really not enough information to have anything solid regarding the nitty gritty details, but we can take a look at what this title is most likely referencing. “Inherit the Earth” is just a tiny part of a common phrase. It’s used in media all the time, but we’re interested in the original source.

I’m not sure if the episode will contain references to all the pieces of this passage from the Bible, but “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth” seems to build off of the last episode, “Despair”. Another translation for the word meek in this instance may have been “powerless”, and after the negative moments in the previous episode TFW would probably feel pretty powerless. Maybe, in the previous episodes, Jack failed and lost his powers again, and that’s what caused Despair, but now he will inherit the powers that God had, or inherit control of earth.

If the rest of the passage is to be taken into account here, there’s also the “poor in spirit” who will ascend to the “kingdom of heaven”, possibly a reference to Cas being depressed and fighting for Heaven to be maintained. “Those who mourn will be comforted”, and that may actually bode well for Sam and Dean, who constantly mourn for the friends they’ve lost. Maybe in this episode they’ll get some closure on that front, maybe with their friends trapped in Hell going to Heaven (Kevin). The next line after “inherit the earth” refers to “those who hunger and thirst for righteousness”, and if that isn’t Michael/Adam to a T...maybe this will be the episode we see him team up to fight God. I’m not sure who the last line might refer to other than Sam, if you have any ideas feel free to tell me.

And after all this, we have the big one.

20

“Carry On” is referring to “Carry On My Wayward Son” by Kansas, and I don’t have a clue what it will entail. If the previous episode goes well, then this will be a sort of epilogue, with a (hopefully) happy ending for TFW, maybe we see Eileen and Sam get together, some kind of family dinner with Jody and the girls to resolve that plot line, or potentially, if the writers plan on doing it, a scene confirming Destiel.

It’d be interesting if they showed the brothers going on a normal, run-of-the-mill hunting trip, like a simple salt-and-burn, or even a (different) woman in white. It would be a nice way to bookend the story, to end on a hunt, but instead of the brothers on their own, it’s the brothers with the help of everyone they’ve come to know and care about in their journey, all the lives they’ve touched.

If, however, the conflict is not resolved by the end of the previous episode, this could be the resolution and epilogue all rolled into one, though if it were me I would want as much time as possible to resolve any lingering character questions because, at the end of the day, Supernatural has survived because of the characters. They are what people stay for, what they watch for.

Reminder that all of this is speculation. I do not know what will happen, this is just how I think the story could progress based on what we know so far.

For better or for worse, at this point Supernatural will be over. Will they do a perfect job? Probably not. This is Supernatural, it’s not the most perfect show. However, I’m excited to see where the writers will go with it. They have their work cut out for them.

[EDITED]

[yet-another-fan-girl9]

Different Worlds (6)

Summary: You’re the youngest Winchester, a girl who needs to show her big brothers that she doesn’t need help. Then one day, on a totally normal vampire hunt that you had all under control, three meddling Avengers come barging in.

Warnings: language, violence, canon divergence, slow burn, me making stuff up

Word Count: 2342

A/N: I hope you all enjoy reading this chapter as much I enjoyed writing it! Please comment your thoughts and if you want to be added to the taglist! 💗💜💙

~*~

Chapter 6: In Which Dean Is an Annoying Cockblock on Earth and in Hell by Fall Out Boy

“You’re back soon.” The words spilled from Jack’s mouth when he saw Bucky.

“Yeah, I just…” Bucky shifted his feet awkwardly. Why did he come here again? He certainly was curious at everything that was going on, but there was something, someone, else.

“Come in.” The young man stepped aside and Bucky stepped into the bunker. “Did you want to see (Y/N)?”

“That would be great.” The ex-assassin did feel more comfortable around (Y/N) rather than her brothers.

They passed the library where the team had learned about the supernatural. Today, the tables were covered in strange items, bowls, and open books. Nobody was doing anything with them at the moment, though.

Jack led Bucky deeper into the bunker which seemed empty at the moment. Bucky studied the man in front of him. He didn’t look like a great fighter, but after everything that was revealed to him, Jack could totally kick his ass. They walked down a hallway before coming to a stop in front of one of the doors.

“Everyone’s getting ready,” Jack explained. Ready for what, Bucky didn’t know and Jack didn’t specify. “This is (Y/N)’s room. You can wait in here.”

He opened the door for Bucky before heading back in the direction they came from. The first thing he noticed was that (Y/N) wasn’t there. Then he saw the other door and heard the sound of running water. She was probably showering.

(Y/N)’s room was clean enough; Bucky knew that it was sometimes hard to gather enough energy to clean up. Her blankets were pulled over her bed, but it was obvious that the action was done haphazardly. Her drawers weren’t closed all the way; a sign of either laziness or being rushed. A few photographs were displayed on the nearby desk that was cluttered with crumpled balls of paper, hair ties, and a couple of knives.

Bucky smirked at the sight of the knives before turning his attention to the photos. The first one showed a group photo. He recognized (Y/N), her brothers, and Cas, but not the two other women or the man in the wheelchair. Everyone, especially (Y/N), looked much younger.

The second picture was another group picture. This time, Jack was in it so it had been taken in the past… how old was Jack? Seven years? That fact still threw Bucky off. He was used to older people looking younger, like Steve and himself, rather than the opposite.

The last photo was much older than the first one. A woman wearing a  sundress and a large sun hat was smiling widely at the camera while holding the hand of a toddler. Bucky came to the quick conclusion that it was (Y/N) and her mother. 

The sound of the en suite’s door opening caused him to whirl around to face (Y/N). Why didn’t he hear the water turn off? The woman looked up and gasped at the sight of the man in her room.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Bucky,” she scolded and placed a hand over her chest. 

That’s when he noticed that she didn’t have a shirt on. She had on jeans and a sports bra, and he saw a tattoo above her left collar bone. Bucky still wasn’t used to seeing women in just bras. Walking down the streets of New York, there were always advertisements for women’s lingerie. It made him uncomfortable, but for some reason, he didn’t feel the same discomfort around her.

As Bucky’s thoughts ran wild, (Y/N) continued swearing.

“You scared the goddamned fucking shit out of me. Don’t do that again or I’ll use you as a sacrifice,” the woman finished her rant. Then a smile broke out on her face. “What are you doing here?”

“Just—I… uh,” the usually suave supersoldier stuttered. He didn’t know what made his brain stop working. Maybe it was because of (Y/N)’s lack of shirt? Or maybe it was just being in her presence that halted all train of thought.

“What’s wrong?” She followed his gaze and looked down before laughing. “Oh, usually I get dressed in the bathroom in case something like this happens but I forgot a shirt this time. Some people living here don’t understand personal space.” Bucky’s face grew red and (Y/N) narrowed her eyes. “Was it Jack or Cas who let you in because I know my brothers wouldn’t even let you close to my room.”

“Jack,” Bucky laughed and felt himself relax. “I didn’t mean to startle you, by the way.” A moment of silence. “Is that your mother?” He gestured towards the photo.

(Y/N) moved closer until they were standing just over a foot away. She glanced at the photo and nodded in confirmation.

“She’s really pretty,” Bucky continued. “You look like her.”

(Y/N) looked at him with a large grin on her face. “Did you just call me pretty, Sarge?” 

He felt his breath hitch as she inched closer to him. Bucky was sure that she could see all the details on his face because he could see every detail of her’s. He could see a small scar near her hairline and another one above her right eyebrow. He could see into her breathtaking eyes. He followed the slope of her nose which led his eyes to her soft lips. They were beckoning to him, parted slightly as (Y/N) studied his face. When had they gotten so close? If he just bent down slightly… 

“(Y/N)!” Dean’s incessant banging on her bedroom door forced them apart. “What’s takin’ so long? Get your ass moving!” Then they heard his footsteps recede.

“I have to go,” (Y/N) sighed.

She slipped on a shirt, grabbed her knives and leather jacket, and walked out of her room. Bucky followed her out and could tell she felt the same way he did at the moment: disappointed. Why did her brother have to knock then?

They emerged into the library. Everyone looked up at their arrival and everyone but Jack did a double-take when they saw Bucky. Sam and Dean’s mouths became straight lines while Rowena, who was bent over a book, smirked.

“I guess you’re the reason she was taking so long,” Cas said.

“What are you doing?” Bucky asked, mostly to (Y/N).

“We’re going to Hell,” Jack smiled.

“Crowley took the Magicae Libro while we all drank beers the other day,” (Y/N) explained. “So we’re going to Hell to take it back from that son of a bitch.”

“Don’t call me a bitch, darling,” Rowena cooed as she added something to a bowl. “Is everyone ready?”

(Y/N) gasped and turned to face Bucky with her eyes wide. “You’re not busy, right? ‘Course you aren’t, otherwise, you wouldn’t be here.” She paused for a breath. “Do you wanna come to Hell with us?”

“Are you sure that’s wise, (Y/N)?” Sam asked.

“I’ll come,” Bucky said. “I can handle myself, I’m a supersoldier.” (Y/N) smiled at him and he was glad he said yes.

“I’m only saying okay because we don’t have time to argue,” growled Dean.

Rowena motioned for Sam who walked over to the bowl, cut his hand, and let his blood mix with the other ingredients. He stepped back next to Cas. The man in the trenchcoat nodded to Sam. Cas held his hand, that began to glow, above the taller man’s wounded hand and suddenly Sam’s hand was healed. Bucky watched the interaction with awe, but everyone else seemed used to it.

“Everyone who’s going, put your hand on the bowl,” Rowena ordered. They obliged and Cas moved out of the way.

“Remember, Cas,” said Dean. “Don’t let the fire die, or we’ll be stuck in Hell.”

“I know, Dean.” The angel rolled his eyes.

“Initium ad inferna permittatur,” Rowena read from her book. She picked up a nearby candle and lit the bowl’s content on fire.

The items in the bowl sparked and the flame turned purple. Some wind started to blow through the room causing hair to get into eyes and mouths. The library’s lights flickered as a bright white light filled the room and the purple flame jumped higher. Then everything reached its max and the flame almost reached the ceiling.

Bucky closed his eyes against the light and when he opened them again they were in Hell.

~*~

Once everyone got their bearings, you took out your weapons. You and Sam had angel blades and Dean had his demon-killing knife. Jack had his powers and Rowena had her magic.

“Here.” You nudged Bucky and held out a second angel blade. “Regular guns and knives don’t do shit to fuckers like demons.” He took it in his metal arm and examined it. “It’s called an angel blade. ‘Cause they belong to the angels. We kinda took ‘em, we did take them, but they can kill lots of things.”

Bucky smiled at you. “Thanks.”

“So where do you suppose we are?” Dean looked around.

“Somewhere in the castle,” Sam answered. “Hopefully near the throne room.”

“Looks like Fergus redecorated again,” Rowena sighed.

“Rowena is Crowley’s mom and his name was Fergus,” you whispered to Bucky when you saw his confused expression. “Don’t worry, it gave me a bit of a headache too.”

You walked quietly and cautiously down the castle’s hallways in pairs. Your brothers at the head of the line while you and Bucky lingered in the back. There were no encounters yet. Only seemingly endless doors that you knew held souls that were in line for torture. You remembered your time behind one of those doors. In total, you had spent fifteen earth days in Hell which was more like five years downstairs.

“How are you doing?” you whispered to Bucky. You were getting a bit bored sneaking around. And, of course, being in Hell wasn’t a pleasant experience.

“Fine,” he responded.

Wow, you loved his voice. Even in the literal Hell, Bucky and his voice managed to soothe you. Your mind flashed back to the moment in your bedroom. Only Chuck knew how bad you had wanted to punch your older brother for being a cockblock. Honestly, you still wanted to punch him, but now was definitely not the time.

“There’s just a general feeling of unease and despair,” he continued.

You nodded in agreement. “I never like coming here.”

“So you have been to Hell before?”

“Yep,” you said a bit louder than you intended and Rowena looked back at you with a glare. You lowered your voice and continued, “Been here both as a guest and a soul.”

“When you died,” the blue-eyed man said slowly. “You came to Hell and you were tortured?” You nodded. “I-if you don’t mind me asking, how?”

“Well, there were lots of different ways.” You trained your eyes on the ground before you. “The usual strung up on racks and cut open torture. There was some psychological torture, you know. Making you think that you’re saved, only to be brought to some demon who likes to flay people.”

You felt Bucky’s gaze and looked up to meet it. You weren’t met with pity, but rather a look of understanding. You’ve done your research on Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes and you know that he’s been through something like Hell too.

“Apparently, according to Cas, Crowley turned Hell into a giant line that souls had to wait in,” you said trying to lighten the mood.

“Can I ask you another question?”

“You just did,” you smirked at him but told him to ask away.

“You have a tattoo,” he said. “I was just wondering what it was.”

“Not really a question,” you joke. Bucky rolled his eyes, but you couldn’t help yourself. “But it’s an anti-possession tattoo.” You stop in your tracks and pull your shirt collar down to show him. “Kinda puts a damper on things when you have to kill a demon possessing your friend. All hunters get them. If you’re gonna be hangin’ ‘round us, you’re gonna need one too.”

“Can I?” He reached out his right hand and motioned towards the tattoo.

When you gave your nod of approval, he ran his hand over the inked skin, tracing it gently, leaving goosebumps in its wake. You stepped closer and his hand stilled.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“What for?” You bring your empty hand up to his and held it to your chest.

“That you had to be tortured. That you actually went through Hell.”

“You don’t need to apologize for that. Not at all.” You stepped closer. Close enough to feel his body heat. “I’m sorry as well. You basically went through Hell too.”

“You don’t need to apologize for that,” Bucky repeated.

His lips were so close. If you just moved forward…

The sound of someone loudly and obnoxiously clearing their throat forced you apart once more. You closed your eyes and tried to convince yourself that you shouldn’t resort to murder just because you couldn’t kiss someone. Dean continued to clear his throat until Bucky was at least three feet away from you.

While you were gearing up to kiss Bucky, the four other members of the group had made it to the end of the hallway. You made your way to the group, glaring at your oldest brother the entire way.

“About time,” he snarked and you rolled your eyes.

“I think we’re getting close,” Sam said quickly to change the subject. “Can you guys hear that?” He gestured to the ornate door that had escaped your notice.

You all became silent and the sound of music reached your ears. Everyone glanced around at each other in confusion.

“Is-is that,” you listen for a second longer, “Fall Out Boy?”

It was indeed Fall Out Boy. Dean pushed open the door and you all readied your weapons and defenses. You were met with a long table covered in food. Crowley stood at the head of the table with his arms open wide.

“Welcome to Hell.”

~*~

~*~

~*~

~*~

~*~

Tag List (strike though means tag didn’t work):

@grav3dollie-666 @broco8​

[itwouldbeajoytobringyoutea]

Zukka RWRB AU

Alright y’all, it’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for. (This means literally only @firebenderlesbian and @beemami.) While watching ATLA for the first time not long after reading Red, White, and Royal Blue — I want to say, oh — six times, I had a galaxy-brain moment and thus, this AU was born.

Basic character breakdown...

Zuko = Henry

Sokka = Alex

Katara = June

Suki = Nora

Toph = Bea

Aang = Pez

Azula = Philip (lol)

Ozai = Queen Mary

Ursa = Arthur

Hakoda = Ellen

The real shit...

Zuko is the crown prince of the Fire Nation, and has grown up around his shitty father, Fire Lord Ozai, his younger sister, Azula, his best friend / fellow royal person, Toph, and his other best friend / random diplomatic tie, Aang. (How does the Avatar becomes friends with Zuko? Why isn’t he killed by the Fire Nation? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )  He’s known he’s gay forever, but his father and sister have tacitly kept him in the closet. 

Sokka, big-shot-but-not-technically-royal of the Southern Water Tribe has two friends: his sister, and his ex-girlfriend. (Do not ask me Sokka and Suki met!) 

Zuko and Sokka meet when they’re, like, 18 at some diplomacy thing. Zuko instantly falls in love, while Sokka instantly fall in hate (because Zuko says something petty and Sokka is a dramatic bitch). Cue three-ish years of one-sided pining and one-sided hatred. 

Then there’s a Big Thing hosted by the Fire Nation (Azula’s wedding?? Who would marry Azula, though, let’s be real.) that Sokka, Katara, and Suki all attend. Bullshit ensues, Sokka accidentally causes a scene, and Hakoda is pissed. So, he sends Sokka back to the Fire Nation to patch up appearances with Zuko / the Fire Nation / Ozai (whomst we do not yet know is a Motherfucker™). They spend some time together and actually talk, and Sokka realizes that Zuko isn’t, you know, a stuck-up product of inbreeding who probably jerks off to photos of himself. (Woof.)  Zuko suffers the whole time because like Sokka is hot? And funny? And smart? And talking to him??? Of course, Zuko is desperately awkward.

Once Sokka goes back to the Southern Water Tribe, they start writing to each other to keep up the ruse (nothing incriminating in these letters, oh no, not yet). 

After months of long-distance flirting, Zuko visits the Southern Water Tribe for an Event and kisses Sokka before fleeing and ghosting him.

Cue Sokka’s bi panic. He always thought he was straight? Like he loved being with Suki? But Zuko? Kissed him? Basically this super bi-acting character has his bi-awakening to the surprise of absolutely no one. Suki is there to tell him he’s fucking bi guide him through it all. “Still waters, deep dicking.” is obviously still a line.

Zuko comes back to the Southern Water Tribe for an Event, Sokka confronts him, they make out, they bang it out, etc. 

Zuko and Sokka start sending letters (coded this time) and meeting up to make out, etc. Sokka is desperately trying to not catch feelings without realizing he is desperately trying to not catch feelings.

Somewhere in all this, Zuko tells Sokka about his whole family’s deal — Ozai being an abusive, awful person, Azula trying to meet Ozai’s expectations and becoming shitty in the process, his mom dying, etc. Sokka wants to kill Ozai with his bare hands.  

Katara confronts Sokka about fucking the crown prince of the Fire Nation, which means that now Katara, Suki, Aang, and Toph know. (Who are Cash, Amy, and Shaan in this AU, you ask? No fucking clue.) 

The Super Six all go out somewhere (maybe in the Earth Nation?) for a night of drinking and debauchery!!! Zuko absolutely does some sexy karaoke. 

(Maybe there’s some drama with Water Tribe politics? IDK, this AU is pretty light on the political part of RWRB.)

Sokka tells his dad about his relationship with Zuko, and Hakoda is happy for him but does nearly herniate himself.

More sexy times, more sexy coded letters.

Zuko visits the Southern Water Tribe, meets Hakoda, and hangs with Katara and Suki. Sokka realizes he’s in love, but Zuko runs away before he can tell him. :(

After being ghosted, Sokka follows Zuko back to the Fire Nation, where he declares his love. “I fucking love you, okay? You don’t make it fucking easy. But I’m in love with you.” still stands. 

Zuko takes Sokka to his favorite place in the Fire Nation (What is this? No idea!), info dumps about his passions, and Sokka falls even more in love with him.

Some level of Zuko and Sokka’s relationship is leaked, leading to Katara to imply that she’s the one dating Zuko. It helps, but it sucks. 

Not long later, their whole relationship is revealed, as their decoded letters show. They both freak the fuck out, but Hakoda supports Sokka and his relationship. Suki figures out that Ozai is the one that decoded and leaked the letters, because he wants to publicly shame/discredit Zuko.

Team Water Tribe heads to the Fire Nation in order to get a meeting with Ozai. Ozai’s plan backfires, because it turns out the world shows overwhelming love and support for Zuko and Sokka. Some kind of hand-waving happens where Aang strips Ozai of his power (and/or kills him, I want Ozai dead) and Azula abdicates (perhaps because she realizes she’s real fucked up and wants nothing to do with the Fire Nation for the rest of her life), so Zuko is now the Fire Lord!

While all this was happening, Katara and Aang start dating, and Suki and Toph either become BFFs or start dating, whatever you prefer.

Zuko and Sokka because the power couple of the Four Nations and everything is good and gay in the world!!!

There’s another version of this AU that aligns much more closely with RWRB, but I love the world building on the Avatar universe so I decided to do it this way instead. 

***

Edit: Y’all, @llamora is writing this AU and I’m helping! She’s posted the first chapter already here. Please read, kudos, comment, and subscribe!

[puckinghell]

In secret kiss with Willy?

I had this ready to go up and I figured after the stream today it must be fate. It’s so fricking long sorry I could’ve wrote a whole three part fic for this I think

–

You’d known this was going to suck, but as you watch Will’s back disappear into the crowd, you start to wondering if you should’ve just called in sick.

There’s an ugly knot in the pit of your stomach, and you don’t like it being there. After all, you and Will are not a couple.

You couldn’t be, even if you wanted to.

When you were hired as the Leafs’ photographer, it felt like the best day of your life. Who doesn’t want to do the job they love, for their favorite sports team? You were born and raised a Leafs fan and if you could’ve picked any job in the world, you would be right where you are now, taking pictures of Auston Matthews’ horrible mustache.

Didn’t mean you weren’t fricking nervous when you walked into Kyle Dubas’ office to sign your contract.

But he seemed nice enough, made pleasant small talk with you and complimented your portfolio. It wasn’t until you shook his hand, ready to leave and planning to call your dad and scream into the phone for a solid half hour, that Kyle’s face went strangely serious.

“There will be a lot of contact with the players, as you’ll be traveling with them and join them at events, but I would recommend you keep it to a strictly professional level.”

The words had thrown you and all you’d been able to say was, “Oh?”

Kyle pulled a face. “Just, our last PR person… She didn’t, and unfortunately she’s no longer with us.”

You hadn’t known it at the time but Morgan told you the story later: apparently years ago the PR girl had a thing with a player and when they broke up, they could no longer work together and one of them had to go.

And you don’t fire your 2nd line center.

But even before that story, you had seen the look in Kyle’s eyes and thought: no way.

This was your dream job, and there’s nothing, and nobody, you would risk that for.

Enter William Nylander.

You didn’t even really notice it until it was way too late, until he was pressing you into the wall in a hotel hallway, his fingers digging into your hips, leaving hot kisses all down your neck, until he muttered a quiet: “My room’s right here.”

And by then, you were too far gone.

See, at first you thought Will was just being friendly, because he’s friendly to everyone, all the time. You’ve rarely seen him in a bad mood, even when things weren’t going so well for him; he’s never rude, never stuck up, and only when things are really bad, he goes a little quiet.

But then you started noticing that he was not only being overly friendly, he was also seeking your company literally all the time, and he would touch you without reason – just his hand on your lower back or your arm as he brushed by, or a half hug after games.

And, well, yadayada, from one thing came the next, and now you think you’re kinda dating except you’re not, because you can’t and will not lose this job, but you’re definitely sleeping together, which is probably also against Kyle’s rules, but you haven’t checked.

It’s working decently well for you; Will is an affectionate enough guy that his teammates don’t bat an eyelash when he half drapes himself over you and he’s spontaneous enough that they don’t even look up when he leaves halfway through dinner.

You’re enjoying yourself.

But.

These team galas are always fun because you get to go around and take pictures of the boys having a good time, and they’ll pull you in and rope you into any conversation, so you end up just chatting with them and taking sips of their champagne.

But the last time you did one of these, you weren’t sleeping with Will yet, so you didn’t care about the fact that there’s always different girls around whose main objective, you think, is to see how many times they can bat their eyelashes at a Leafs player.

Normally, you wouldn’t mind – you do you, girl, get it – except now…

Except now you’re gritting your teeth and staring at a beautiful girl hanging off Will’s arm, and you think if you squeeze your camera any harder the lens is gonna crack.

But you can’t very well do anything about it.

“You okay there?”  Of course it’s Zach Hyman, an amused and all-too-knowing smile on his face as he approaches you.

If you would’ve put money on the first person to figure out what’s happening, it would’ve been Morgan or maybe Muzz, but it certainly wouldn’t have been Zach. Except it should’ve been, because Zach and Will seem to have this telepathic connection that means any time Will looks in your direction a bit too long, Zach seems to catch it.

He hasn’t said anything. So far.

“I’m fine,” you lie. “Don’t you have some sponsor to talk to?”

Zach only laughs, ignores your question. “That girl he’s talking to hooked up with Kappy last year and he knows it. He’s not interesting. But he can’t just ignore her with all the sponsors watching, that’d be rude.”

You absolutely do not appreciate the way your stomach lurches, at that information.

“You should go over there,” Zach continues. “He’s looking for someone to rescue him.”

You did notice Will look around in somewhat desperate fashion, but there’s not really a lot you can do about it.

Especially since you just saw Kyle somewhere in that general direction.

“I can’t,” you manage to bring out, and you have no idea what Zach knows but his face softens.

“How about,” he hums, taking your arm as he starts to guide you in Will’s direction, “you go take a picture of me and Will? Our suits match.”

Their suits are both some shade of grey, but that’s as close as they get; however you take Zach’s excuse for what it is and follow him towards Will.

When Will catches your eyes, his face lights up.

“Y/N!” he exclaims, cutting the girl off in the middle of a sentence. “Zachy! How nice to see you.”

“We did say we need a picture together.” Zach motions to you. “Found her.”

“Huh?” Will looks confused as he clearly tries to rack his brain for when that conversation happened and comes up with nothing, but then it seems to click. “Oh, I did say that, huh? Let’s do it. Sorry, Melanie, give me a minute.”

Zach puts his arm around Will’s shoulders and they pose. You take the picture and notice, to your annoyance, that the girl – Melanie – is still standing there, clearly waiting for Will to be done.

You desperately wish Kappy would appear; he’s always flirting with random blonde girls but when you need him to, he’s nowhere to be seen.

“Let me see it,” Will demands, hand grasping your elbow and tugging you closer to him. It’s a weird request, because for as much people seem to think Will is vain, he is one of the only ones that never requests to proof his photos.

Maybe he knows he always looks stupidly good.

You let yourself be tugged against him anyway, because, well, obviously, and try to still your shaking hands when he hooks his chin over your shoulder to look at the screen of the camera.

What you don’t expect is for him to put his lips near your ear and mumble: “Back door, 2 minutes.”

Before you can ask him what the hell he’s talking about he grins and exclaims loudly: “That’s a good picture! I actually wanted one with Kap, too, I’m gonna go find him.” And disappears into the crowd.

Zach sends you a knowing grin, then turns to Melanie.

“So, how’s your evening been?”

Although Melanie seems a bit downed by the ring on Zach’s finger, she still goes straight into the small talk and you manage to slip away, making a mental note to thank Zach later.

And buy him the best Christmas present ever this year.

You find the back door and slip out; it leads to an alley that’s both dark and empty, except for the blonde guy in a suit, leaning against the wall.

“Mitchy told me about this,” he grins. “Said him and Steph snuck off last year and nobody found them for hours until someone came out for a smoke.”

You don’t even manage to answer him before his hands find your hips and yank, having you stumble straight into his body, falling against his chest. His face is close enough that you can see the darkness in his eyes, and the tilt of his lips.

“Kyle doesn’t smoke,” Will whispers against your lips, and then he kisses you.

Despite being in a literal alley trying to sneak away from your employer, making out secretly beside a dumpster, Will kisses you slow and deep, until your toes are curling in your way too uncomfortable heels.

Your hands make their way to his waist and you feel the hard panes of his abs under his shirt, and then he shifts his thigh between yours and you feel something else hard, as well.

Finally he breaks the kiss. You feel a bit dazed as he goes to nip on the skin below your ear, voice low as he mumbles: “Not that I’m happy about this being a secret, but this sneaking off stuff is kinda hot, right?”

And you’re probably gonna need two bottles of wine and a four hour talk with your best friend to dissect what that means, that he’s not happy with this ‘being a secret’, but right now you kinda just want him to keep kissing you, so you decide to ignore what has the potential to be the root of a lot of pain and heartbreak along the line and instead press up on your toes so his lips slide to your shoulder.

“Impatient,” Will mumbles gruffly.

“Don’t like seeing you with other girls,” you admit. The words, although soft, sound loud in the empty alley and you wonder if they’re too much, too soon.

But Will simply breaks away and takes your chin between his fingers, forces them to look at you.

“I know,” he says, as if it means nothing at all. “But I need you to remember that even if I have to spend all night listening to them, I’m only going home with you.”

And you think as long as that is the case you can force yourself to get through this night.

As soon as you’re done with kissing Will.

(Which is not soon at all)

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