#his normal ballet teacher self

[underoossss]

the way you move - s.h – 3

pairing: jock!steve harrington x ballerina!reader

warnings: language, brief s4 mention, some angst

words: 1.5k

an: part 3 is here and they’re so so close to jumping! this hurt a bit to write but hurt comfort with Steve is always so wonderful to write. I hope you like this! Please let me know if you 💕✨

part 2

✰✰✰✰

There’s only been a few times when Steve’s felt helpless. One of them, that incident in the Upside Down. Even now, he’s sure he would’ve died if it wasn’t for his friends getting the bats off him. It had been hard to breathe or think back then, but he eventually found his footing once he had help and that allowed him to defend himself too.

Now though, he’s truly helpless. You’re crying in his arms, and he doesn’t know what to do.

It had been a normal day, a happy day even. Steve woke up and got ready for the day, then after a quick coffee and breakfast he set off to pick you up. You had ballet class at 11am as you did every Saturday and there had been a skip to Steve’s step at the thought of seeing you again. So he arrived to your house and picked you up at your door, hugging you close and breathing you in for a moment before leading the way to his car a big smile on his face as a result of your own.

You’d been excited all week for your teacher would be announcing the parts assigned for the nutcracker after Saturday practice. Steve had his fingers crossed so you’d get to be the fairy, not only for his own benefit of seeing you dance front and center at the theater, but for your happiness. You’d worked hard, never once complaining even as your feet hurt while you prepared to audition. Today you’d find out for sure though but showed no sign of nerves as you talked animatedly with Steve in the car.

Then that Bad Boys Blue song you love had played and the two of you sang along, off-key but happy; you, pretending to know French for some of it and Steve laughing at your ridiculousness. A warm feeling had fallen over Steve, and he knew he’d just fallen in love again with you. It happened every day, and when the studio was on sight, Steve was grateful to see it. Another moment with that smile of yours next to him and he would have done something stupid like kiss you silly.

Once at the parking lot, the two of you had bundled up for the cold weather and crossed the street to the studio. Then upon noticing Madame Laverne wasn’t there yet, Steve followed you inside where he leaned against the mirror and smiled while you got ready for class. You’d been wearing that black open-back leotard he loves on you, with a lilac chiffon skirt wrapped around your waist. The probable wrath we could have faced from your teacher had been worth it then, to see you look so pretty in front of him. When you heard a car park outside the studio, you’d ushered him out, laughing and smiling when Steve picked you up and spun you around in farewell. You’d bashfully said goodbye, knowing all eyes were on you and self-indulgently Steve placed a gently kiss on your cheek.

But then after practice, the day took a turn for the worse. You weren’t the sugar plum fairy, Agatha Francis was.

Steve had to give you credit for being an excellent actress though. He had no idea of what’d happened when he picked you up later that day. You’d left the studio with a bright smile, said goodbye to some of your classmates and skipped to his car where he had the passenger door already open and waiting for you. Steve assumed you were given the role you wanted, with how happy you looked. But when you wouldn’t meet his eyes and silently buckled your seatbelt, he began to wonder if something went wrong.

As he drove out of the parking lot, he glanced at you in worry. “Everything okay, babe? How did it go?” He’d asked and your happy façade vanished.

Big tears began cascading down your face and you pressed your lips together when they began to tremble. “Awful.” You’d whispered between tears, “awful, Stevie.”

It broke Steve’s heart, especially when he offered his hand out to you and you clung to it as he drove you home.  It wasn’t until you’d arrived at your house and Steve walked inside with you, that you let yourself crumble. The weight of your disappointment sat heavy on your hunched shoulders, and you let your bags fall on the floor in favour of hugging your arms around yourself. It tore Steve to pieces to see you like that and it filled him with another level of protectiveness he didn’t know he had.

“Oh baby, come here.” Steve gathered you in his arms, which is where you’re now. Your body curled up against his chest, legs over his thighs with your face hidden under his chin. Your cries don’t seem to stop, the disappointment you’re feeling overflowing in the form of cascading tears.

“They don’t know talent.” Steve huffs against your hair, feeling angry beyond words for you but keeping calm to help you. “You would’ve been a better fairy, beautiful. You know that.”

“I’m not good enough for that Stevie, they made it clear.” You sniffle between words, hugging him tighter and trying to make yourself smaller. Your voice breaks in between your next words and it hurts Steve even worse than a physical punch ever could.  “I’m playing a petal. A petal.”

“Then you’re going to be the best petal there ever was,” Steve’s voice is quiet but fierce with honesty as he holds you closer and kisses a spot above your brow. Fuck them for making his girl feel like this, no one gets to do that. “They won’t know what hit them.”

You shake your head against his chest, but Steve continues earnest in his reassurance. This isn’t like you, to get stuck in a negative mindset but then he supposes it’s hard not to be when your dream role was snatched away right in front of you. “They’re going to look at you and say, ‘why wouldn’t they make her the sugar plum fairy, that petal is so beautiful and talented the play should be about her.’”

When a weak laugh escapes you, Steve finally feels like he can breathe a little easier and his shoulders relax the tiniest bit. “Come on, look at me.” His thumb and index finger hook under your chin gently, bringing your gaze to his. You meet his eyes hesitantly and Steve gives you a small smile he hopes can comfort you.

“Their decision says nothing about you,” Steve whispers softly as he wipes the tears that have cascaded down your cheeks. “They lost the most talented lead. Let them bore people to death with Agatha, it’s their loss. Babe, you’re too talented to believe their choice has anything to do with whether you’ve got it.”

“Told you Agatha’s Madame Laverne’s favourite.” You murmur, brows meeting in the middle as you look away from his searching eyes. Yes, you’d told him so a while ago, right after you told him Agatha said you shouldn’t get your hopes up. God, no wonder you’re so hurt, you think she was right.

Steve kisses the wrinkle between your eyebrows away, not giving any second thought to you perceiving all the affection pouring out of him. “You’re mine.” He smiles brightly and is rewarded with the most beautiful teary smile of yours in return. “Okay? You’re my favourite; I’ll cheer so loudly for you they’ll kick me out.”

His words have the intended effect, they make you laugh despite your red eyes. They fall closed while you throw your head back. When your laughter fades you look at him, soft and teary eyes vulnerable with an ocean of affection. And Steve… he feels lightheaded with love, it takes all his willpower not to kiss you right there.

“You’re everything, Stevie.” You whisper as you look into his eyes, amazement and something terribly close love shining in the tears that gathered in your eyes. “You’re everything.” With a shake of your head, you lean closer and hug him tightly again. A wave of love bigger than a tsunami washes over Steve when you do, both of your hearts synchronizing immediately.

If he had any doubt your feelings weren’t the same as his, they’re close to none now. What he’s feeling is all-consuming and powerful; and it must be because it’s mutual. The very thought of it makes his heart skip several beats which he ignores to hold you close. He’ll hold you as close as you want, for as long as you want, because you’re everything too. His everything.

✰✰✰✰

Part 4

reblogs are always appreciated!

masterlist

[corrodedcoughin]

Okay I'm back and this time its not with a song but another au. Listen, Ballet dancer Steve, I literally cannot stop thinking about it. Like, his father made him do sports like a real man, following in his footsteps etc (hence the basketball and swimming). But his mother insists he do ballet from a young age (maybe she always wanted a daughter?) And this is something she is not backing down on - as much as his dad hates it. And Steve is loathe to admit it to anyone - especially his parents - but he actually really enjoys it?

He goes to all the lessons, takes extra classes, not telling anyone and working it around his sports that he's got that season. Clears out his living room and practices at home, folds his laundry while casually stretching and doing the splits.

The first people to know are Dustin and Robin, and it's nice having someone know and not insult him the way he knows Tommy and Carol would have. Spitting slurs and calling him a pussy. Hes super self conscious about this thing he loves, but isn't goin to admit that either. Eventually Dustin doesn't bat an eye when he tells him he can't hang out that day, he's got ballet. Just complains like a normal teen that they haven't hung out in ages, God Steve. Robin will occasionally ask him to try and teach her ballet positions at their sleepovers. She doesn't tease him for this, and he doesn't tease her when she stumbles or trips over her own feet.

And then he meets Eddie, and he befriends Eddie, and he's crushing on Eddie. And I absolutely want Eddie to be someone who walks in on him and finds out, rather than being told. Mostly because Eddie would have a heart attack seeing Steve in his ballet tights, muscles on show, strong and graceful as fuck.

I’m banging my knife and fork on the table MORE PLEASE MORE!!!!

I’m getting billy Elliot vibes??? A little???? Maybe in a different life (or this one, who knows with him) Murray is a ballet teacher and is the one that taught Steve, cue comedic relief ‘you’ve got to be the swan Steve. No not like that, Swans don’t look like they are constipated and experiencing violent diarrhoea at same time steve come ON! From the top!’

How about Eddie catches him when he’s cooling down one day. Steve is in his living room with his headphones on, listen to billy Joel and just trying to relax his muscles out while zoning out to his music. Eddie just walks into the house because of course he does and Steve’s music is so loud he doesn’t hear a thing so when he opens his eyes he makes eye contact with Eddie who’s been standing in the doorway for god knows how long. Both of them speechless, both of them flushed but maybe for different reasons. Cue Dustin barrelling in after Eddie, ‘hey Steve, eddie drove me over, I knew you’d be busy. I’ve got this lasagna from mom, she said make sure you freeze some. Hey do you think you could kick somebody in the head? I’m just saying, I think it would be a good idea to try, self defence yknow?’

Neither Steve nor Eddie has said a word or moved. Both too scared to incase the other bolts. Dustin prompts them ‘don’t you think so eddie?’

‘What Henderson? What did you say?’

‘That Steve should practice kicking people in the head! Would be great for surprise attacks’

Eddie is on the verge of brain static again before saying louder than he meant to ‘can I be the target?’ They make eye contact and steve gives Eddie the most tentative smile, suddenly bashful but something must switch in his brain because then he’s looking directly at Eddie and fucking winks

[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

Hi I love you @my-cursed-brain (if you want me to tag your alt in the future just lmk bc. I will probably split this into different posts just for the sake of organization) Anyways!! Regarding the Dance AU, I'll give you a little bit of bg information first. Night Raven Dance Academy is a prestigious school with availability for anyone from the middle class tax bracket right on up to royalty, but the difficulty and the quality of the lessons are dependent on your financial standing. (For example, Vil, Neige, Leona, Riddle - they all have the best teachers NRDA has to offer, with a rigorous training schedule and their academics are less of a priority than dance is in terms of personal goals, and are done via asynchronous classes to accommodate for their schedule. Ace, Deuce, Vizzie (OC), are still in a pretty intense dance program, but they still have their normal classes to attend in person). NRDA is divided by floors based on where you're going for classes. Now for Neige, Riddle and Vil. They are the queen bees, studying specifically ballet. Since Leona took a temporary leave from the academy after a dance related accident, the three of them have been competing to be the top dancer at the school. They've got a "Mean Girls" sort of dynamic going, where they treat each other like enemies as much as they treat each other like friends. Part of this is because they've known each other since middle school. Part of this is the (mostly) friendly competition between them. Part of this is the Gender Envy. Neige is openly gender fluid, with supportive (adoptive) parents. This somewhat irks Vil, not just the self expression and the support, but it seems to give Neige more flexibility as their instructor knows Neige is comfortable playing either a typically female OR male lead, resulting in Neige being picked over Vil for leads often, never due to skill, only due to the comfort level the instructor has been made aware of. However he has major imposter syndrome and nobody he can talk to about it because he knows Vil and Riddle will kind of tear him apart, but his parents don't really acknowledge his issues, just telling him he's perfect and he knows its not true. Vil can't say he wants the female lead. He has considered coming out to his father as trans, but overheard a conversation his dad had with Riddle's mom, and realized the moment he told his father he would be disowned, his reputation would be ruined, and his dance career would be over. So he stays quiet, silently seething as Neige gets the glory he wishes he had. Riddle is afab in this universe. She is in denial about being trans, as she knows her mother would not be supportive, which has severely impacted her motivation and passion for dance. Everything just Feels Wrong, and when she looks at Vil and Neige she wonders why she feels a sense of loss or like something's missing. So her performance hasn't been as good as it has in the past, leading to more issues and one-sided conversations from her mother, and empty promises that she'll try to do better but she really doesn't know what's wrong. Her mental health starts to wear on her quite a bit, but Vil and Neige pick up on it eventually.

There will be a day, eventually, in which the three of them are able to really talk to each other and sort their shit but it takes A While to get there. wheeee thank you for asking about it I love talking about worldbuilding and stuff and its a great reward for when I finish chunks of hw so I really appreciate it in that way too lmao

[romeoandjulietyouwish]

Below you will find a (mostly) complete list of all the aus created here on my blog! Do you have an idea? Send me an ask about it! You can tip me on my ko-fi!  (seriously y’all I’ve spent a lot of time on these aus so it’s really great to have my work appreciated!)

#happy ending au - The Raven Queen doesn't come for Vax, instead he's able to build a life with Keyleth after everything. (also on ao3)

#hunger games au - Pretty self explanitory, a vox machina hunger games au. (Do not send me asks or prompts based on this au)

#ballet au - The vox machina are members of a ballet company, this is mostly vaxleth and percahlia with a shit ton of angst but also some fluff (also on ao3)

#childhood friend au - What if Keyleth had met the twins before they left Byroden? This is mostly vaxleth, but also some percahlia

#twitch au - All of vox machina are twitch streamers, this is mostly fluff (but with occasional doses of angst)

#soulmate au - Soulmates can feel sensations from the other, pressure, pain, etc. vox machina

#medieval au - Keyleth is a princess and the rest of VM are knights/hunters/healers (also on ao3)

#percy’s deal au - Percy took the deal with the Raven Queen instead of Vax, giving his brother the remaining years of his life to spend with his family

#modern au - Pretty self explanatory, it features EMT Vax and farmer’s daughter Keyleth

#foster care au - A modern au where Percy and Cass are fostered by Kima and Allura after their family’s murder and grow up along side Keyleth.

#famers market au - Vax and Keyleth meet at a farmer’s market and she offers him and his sister a safe place after they run from Syldor. A few months later Percy wanders onto the farm covered in blood.

#firefighter au - All of vox machina are EMTs, firefighters, or social workers.

#bookstore au - Keyleth runs a small bookstore and Vax is working for the Clasp, things don't go well. (also m9 is here and forcibly adopting Keyleth)

#biker au - All of VM are bikers when Vax and Vex are forced to take in Velora.

#vampire vax au - Vax was turned into a vampire by Sylas.

#aasimar percy - Exactly what it sounds like

#lighthouse au - Vax gets sent to work at a remote lighthouse as a punishment but meets the very bubbly Keyleth, the daughter of the owner.

#arranged marriage au - Beau and Bren get married, Bren to find information about the Cobalt Soul and Beau to find out how to break Volstrucker programming.

#kiki and percy arranged marriage au - Keyleth and Percy get married and live in Zephrah and have a qpr

#kiki and percy childhood friend au - Keyleth and Percy are nextdoor neighbors and family friends born three weeks apart. They meet the rest of VM at a fancy private school.

#space au - A future version of Exandria is corrupted by magic and uninhabitable, Exandrians take to the stars. VM and M9

#paranormal au - Percy has always been sensitive to ghosts, something that comes in handy when he joins Vex and Vax's paranormal investigating team.

#lavish chateau au - Vex, Vax, Scanlan, and Grog are courtesans at the Cheateau.

#teacher au - All of VM are teachers at a public school, the M9 are some of their students.

#keyleth’s wife - Many years post VM, Keyleth finds love again in widowed Tempest Blade Elenora.

#rock band au - Vox Machina is a rock band.

#ashton de rolo au - As a teenager, Ashton was adopted by the de Rolos. Years later, he and Vesper joined the Bells Hells.

#werewolf kiki au - I mean, it's what it sounds like.

#four seasons au - All of VM represent different times of year.

#baby box au - Kaylie is left in the hospital as a baby with only a phone number, when NICU nurse Pike calls it, she finds her college friend Scanlan.

#dragon au - All of VM are dragons, the Chroma Conclave are an adventuring party trying to take over the world.

#age swap au - What if Percy and Cassandra’s ages were switched? Normally this au features 18 y/o Percy, Kid!Percy denotes him being 15.

#orym's baby au - A few years into their marriage, Orym and Will adopted a baby halfling girl.

#empire siblings neighbor au - Caleb is Beau’s tutor as she grows up, they lose touch when he’s taken to the Soltryce only for them to reunite as adults.

#surfing au - Keyleth, Pike, Grog, and Vex are all surfers while Vax is a lifeguard and Percy makes surfboards. Scanlan plays loud music on the beach.

#keyleth’s brother - What if Keyleth had an older brother?

#cassandra in vm au - Cassandra was the one to escape Whitestone instead of Percy.

#circus au - all of VM are circus performers

#once upon a time au - All of VM, M9, and BH are stuck in Storybrooke. With only Vesper and Vax to save them.

#royalty au - Vex and Vax are a prince and princess, the rest of VM are commoners who befriended the twins without knowing who they are.

#cassandra is julius's daughter au - exactly what it sounds like

#zombie apocalypse au - Exactly what it sounds like, VM

#broadway au - All of VM are broadway performers

#reincarnated au - Vax is brought back to life with a single purpose, to kill Keyleth

#fight club au - Inspired by Creator Clash, Keyleth is a boxer in an underground ring.

#wild west au - a cowboy retelling of the Chroma Conclave are

#cheerleading au - all of VM are cheerleaders on the same squad

#volstrucker au - Caleb is sent to kill Princess Jester of Nicodranas. She tries to break is programming

#siren au - Vex is a siren and she draws Percy in, but falls for him before she can kill him

#pixie hallow au - all of VM are pixie hallow faries

#byroden au - Percy goes to Byroden after his family was killed

If you want to request that I write any fics in in these aus, or any fics in general, please refer to this post about my request guidelines before sending anything in And if you want to write a fic in any of my aus or based on any of my headcanons, all I ask is you credit me with the idea/au and tag me or link to my blog if you post on Tumblr. And if you post it on ao3 please list it as a related work if it's an au I've already written or link to my Tumblr or AO3 page here’s the link to a post with the rest of the aus tagged, this should make it easier to find all the posts for each au!

[0l1zv34n-l1v13xy]

My HEADCANONs and Theories of Gangle's Backstory from Tadc

GANGLE - ever since she was a child, she's always neglected and being told to shut up Because she was never learned how to control her emotions because her parents neglected her ALOT, mostly because they were working for her ballet teacher, which Therye trying to force her to be a ballerina for the parents to be proud even tho GANGLE didn't want to ballet, ballet hurts so much meanwhile she dont know how to control herself so she just cries ALOT, her parents abused her to stop like 'this is what u get for being such a Bother..' like that, so she always flinch whenever someone raise their hand or voice because she thinks she's being mad at or being hit or yelled, she has eating disorder and PTSD because of her parents who wants her to be like a skinny ballet

Ever Since She got in the show, she was like pomni at first because she worries if she would never meet her parents again even tho shes and adult and have her own life but her parents still controls it around their finger, but since shes in the show for few days, she started to slow not trying to escape because she feels like she wasnt pressured and nobody was really very bad as her parents, even tho she gets teased by Jax, she does cry cuz of it but At least she has a better life now, she doesn't wanna escape much for now, that's why she was mostly and likely Caine's favourite because Caine can see that she's confident and comfortable in his world because Caine never have a third friend who would like to be in his realm world,

But she was still sensitive but at least Ragatha is there for her, Zooble would hang out with her,(MY AU THAT JAX WOULD ALSO BE NICE TO HER WHENEVER THE OTHERS AREN'T WATCHING),so she loves being The child in the show, she still have Trauma but at least it wasn't THAT bad anymore.

(IM RESPECTING GANGLE YALL, I AIN'T GIVING HER TRAUMA...

nah I'm kidding, so anywhizzles)

For some reason, maybe...she was acting that she's fine and comfortable but in reality, she's panicking, whenever she's wearing her comedy mask, she has another self of her who's in the Sad mask who was having a panic attack because she can't even make a solution or a plan on how to get out, she's still scared, she's confused because she doesn't like her IRL life but she's Scared of her TADC life because she doesn't wanna live in that way she just wants to live happily and normally, ..she would help Jax to Find a way how to escape because Just the two of them who always don't sleep and wake up every night to find keys or clues on how to find an exit, Jax was first, GANGLE sees him so she just wanna go along and talk to him because she wants to spend time with Jax Bec she sees her like an older brother even tho he always teases her but yknow, he was the most sane person she ever meets, meanwhile Jax also be nice to her because he's always tired so he feels numb and can't control his Emotions, he might have panic attacks or cry or scream or get irritated only st night cuz he feels numb but they both comfort each other if GANGLE or Jax is feeling upset.

[br0k3nhe4rtz]

08.08.22

dear diary,

my name is unimportant here, no one will know me no one will see me. it feels like a dream. I'm unimportant, sitting here in my lounge room, next to my dad who's watching airport patrol videos on the flat screen, next my brother's drying clothes on the clothes horse. they don't know my life here, they won't unless I say they can. which I won't.

how amazing is that? I can sit in this online room, in my four walls, and do whatever I like. I mean, it's not like I haven't done that before, but they always find me, and I always have to pretend. because when one finds me, then the others do, then all of a sudden I am politically correct, im confident in myself, in my body, my face, my writing.

I am undiagnosed so I need to be quiet. I have no problems, I am the normal friend. the one who like men and women and enbys and everyone but im just bi because I can't actually be queer because I am just too straight looking.

I can't have a cool sense of style or listen to lana del rey because then I am too emo. I can't criticise my own singing because im better than they are. but I want to be a star, on the stage, in front of others. I wanna dance and sing and be just like roxy heart but in a cool non murdery way.

I wanna have false angst, I wanna bathe in my sadness. I want to be a mentally ill teenager in 2004 getting secretly cyber bullied online by the popular high school girls while getting groomed in a homemade short film about toxicity of the internet. I want to be a ballet dancer who flies above the rest, and immediately collapses right after she sweeps into the wings because she's malnourished because her ballet teacher told her she could see her lunch.

i want to live in the city and know how to walk in it. I want to use public transport and get over 10 000 steps a day, just so I can lose all my stupid car dependant weight. I want to shop at woolworths instead of aldi I want my dad to pay for everything I ever need and I want him to die tomorrow. I want my religious family to one day wake up and realise they're trapped in a cult, and I want to live in the odious joy of god and dance and sing as if my local aristocrats who own fifteen dozen slaves get married. I want to chase after their carrage and then wander home to my twice-my-age husband and my daughter and my farm animals as we sing ourselves to sleep.

I am a bundle of contradictions and I am here on tumblr where I can be as over dramatic and poetic as I want. I can be made of fun of, but no one can ever tell if im about to throw a party or slit my wrists or do both. I am not depressed but I have trauma, I am thin and pretty but I am self conscious. I want to be unimportant, and this is the way to do it.

hi tumblr, I am sure this girl is nothing new to you. enjoy her while she lasts. :)

[hi-i-vent-here]

Today we will talk about me and school. Tw: self harm. Tw: Vent and abuse.

I hated school, I could do the subjects at the time but no one knew how to actually teach me. I could do the exams and get enough to pass, but it was hell.

One of my happiest memories is me skipping class to go to my abuser's house when he wasn't there, eating popcorn and watching south park, and coming back to my house while it was raining. I would do anything to not be in school, but funny enough I was known for being smart (and also insane). Yes, some part of me takes pride in that even if I dropped out.

I was known for being unstable because of how I spoke, for being short tempered, physically fighting my peers, and for self-harming.

Some weird part of me also takes pride in physically fighting my peers at a young age, because in my ill head this is a good thing and I was protecting myself (they were kids like I was), but I consciously know it wasn't a good thing that I was beating other kids until they cried, still. (A very odd episode that I clearly remember was me threatening a girl with a razor because she said something about my hair. I was 12)

About how I spoke, I sometimes say things that don't connect, so I might sound like I'm saying gibberish but in my head they make sense, sometimes it was funny, sometimes it wasn't.

My short temper was difficult, I would constantly fight people, it didn't matter if they were teachers, I would throw things, fight and get mad at them for no reason.

My mother would have to go to school because of the fights I would get into. But this was when I was like 8 years old, when I got older she didn't cared that much anymore. She would only get called in my school if I was self-harming in class or skipping too much, and the "warnings" that I got, I would just sign her name. /my abuser found that out and it was fucking hell, like it always was with him./

I was really into theater and ballet as a child, but I abandoned it.

I grew isolated of almost all my peers, for obvious reasons. I wasn't bullied, like BULLIED, I knew how to fight back, I was just isolated from everyone. It's funny how relatives told me that I was so happy and talkative as a child but I grew quiet and isolated, I wonder what happended...

This is elementary/middle school, highschool was a whole different can of worms.

I already mentioned it but I didn't mentioned how my abuser would put so much pressure, so much pressure, I was having panic attacks thinking about the future (15 years old) I had an awful mental breakdown in front of him because I couldn't hold it until I was alone. HE would do this to me, he would constantly mess with my head and when I had breakdowns he would pretend like he didn't mean it or he didn't said nothing. ( I remember a specific case of one of his girlfriends seeing me having an crisis while they fought and saying "Do you want me to end up like THAT? Do you think this is normal? Look what you did to your child!". I believed I was going to die, I even said goodbye to people and said that I loved them in case something happended to me. I was 15 years old, I was 15, I was 15. This wasn't even close to the worst things he did.)

The time I dropped out, was almost the same time I cut ties with him at 16(which also I have a lot to unpack about this). He manipulated me into going to that school, he knew I couldn't do it, everyone knew. I stopped going slowly and I became homeschooled/would study at the library. I studied my HEART out, I studied sooooo hard sooo sooo fucking hard, like I had never studied before, and no one was forcing me to do so. I studied because I wanted, because I want to get my GED. At this time I even learned french, read books, studied, (learned chess to impress my mother) watched a billion of lessons used a billion of books from the library, then I burnt out. At the time I wanted to study abroad. I'm poor, that is impossible for people like me.

I stopped studying all togheter after march of this year. Btw all this time I was studying and I would tell my mother everything I studied and she didn't gave a fuck, she never gives a fuck. I was never enough. I left school because I wasn't learning, they didn't knew how to teach me. I taught myself but I always would be a disappointment. I'm simplifying things but I would be everyday fighting people in my house because I dropped out.

That's enough for today.

[izusun]

*hands you an AU dump to hoard like a little goblin handing a small coin to a dragon*

OKAY so basically: after the doctor's visit where Izuku learns he's quirkless (I hc that they went when he was about five n' a half), Inko does a little bit of research on quirks and more specifically on her son's notebooks, learns that he's even more brilliant at quirk analysis than she originally suspected, and (after looking at some not great quirkless statistics) she instead informs Izuku that no, he's had a quirk all along! It's an analysis quirk!

So she updates the quirk registry, and Izuku goes through his life believing he has an analysis quirk, albeit teased for being a late bloomer, but he still can't shake the insecurity being quirkless for that one and a half year gave him.

He does research on all sorts of things, hacking, knife throwing, first aid, and building his own support gear and takes to all of it like a duck to water. He also does research on UA's policy for support gear in the entrance exam (cause surely they've gotta have a policy for non-offensive quirks like Koda and Hagakure) and finds that he can take one with him if he builds it himself. He goes fuckin bonkers.

Anyways: he trains with Katsuki, cause they're relationship is pretty good since Izuku has a 'quirk.' They both demolish the entrance exam. (Also Izuku kinda swears a lot because Katsuki rubs off on him)

Aizawa doesn't notice a goddamn thing is amiss until the battle trials on the second day (he decides to shadow All Might that day), where when he was using his quirk to silence his students while Izuku was rambling, he just didn't stop, as if he didn't notice anything was wrong. It happens again during the USJ.

So at some point during the sports festival, Nedzu (who is now intrigued because of Aizawa's complaining) invites Izuku into his office during a free period and lets him go ham on analysis, all while Aizawa is secretly there erasing Izuku's 'quirk.' Nedzu invites Izuku to be his personal student (making Aizawa go grey), he says yes, and then Nedzu drops the absolute BOMBSHELL that Izuku is actually quirkless. Cue an existential crisis.

(Also Izuku gets captured at the training camp alongside Katsuki because of his "analysis quirk," wonder how well that goes for him~)

- Goblin anon (sorry this one was kinda long)

GOBLIN?? DUDE???? HOLY SHIT I KNEW YOUR AUS ARE ALWAYS PHENOMENAL BUT THIS RIGHT HERE??? D U D E

i misunderstood the prompt a bit but i genuinely don’t know how to backtrack, so here you go goblin. sorry again o(TヘTo)

ok first of, inko taking on a stronger stance to support her son? love that of her. like, she doesn’t say sorry when izuku turned to look at her and cried that he can’t be like all might. instead, she took him in her arms and assures him that he will be a great hero. at first, of course half of it is lip service because she doesn’t know how to help her quirkless boy be a hero, since, you know, heroes need quirks.. (or do they)

and then she comes across a quirkless self help group which rang many many warning bells in her head. what kind of life do quirkless people live when a google research of them resulted in subsequent pages of results like how to stay safe when quirkless, or how to find jobs when quirkless, or quirkless mortality rates?

she fears for izuku, until she notices that her son’s smart. too smart for his age, but inko thought she’s just being biased. but izuku’s wit is something many people notice, for an instance, when izuku goes to the park to play and his friends’ (the few ones who stayed) parents tell her that her son’s smart for a quirkless person, she realizes that izuku’s wit is far more vast than normal.

then a thought worms into her head but wouldn’t it be bad to lie…but also, no one would be any the wiser.

further pushed by all the statistics she keeps seeing, or the lack thereof, about quirkless people, she makes the decision and pours it to izuku.

izuku who’s far smarter than his age and understood what his mom is asking from him. izuku who already saw the disparities between quirked and quirkless people at the tender age of five. izuku who knows what it means to lie about something as personal as a quirk, but realizes that it’s necessary for him to do so if he wants to live a “normal” life.

so he agrees; he tells inko that he’ll work even harder to sharpen his mind, and to keep expanding his knowledge.

when izuku’s quirk file is officially updated, he watches how his peers and teachers revert back into treating him as izuku. he regains his old friends, but he chose to drop them because he doesn’t want to surround himself with people who thought he was less for being quirkless.

katsuki stayed, surprisingly. katsuki stayed and everyday he kept bothering izuku to “get your quirk already!” katsuki stayed because he can’t fathom that the smartest boy in their class (of course not as smart as him, psshh) is quirkless. deku couldn’t be quirkless. (but if he found out that izuku, indeed, is, i wonder what would happen…)

katsuki was one of the loudest to celebrate when izuku announced that his quirk arrived.

“finally!” he screams and bothers izuku about the semantics of his quirk. he really wasn’t surprised to find out that izuku has an analysis quirk because he thought that nothing else would better be suited for izuku.

he doesn’t know that izuku pours so much of his time into learning and studying, often bypassing basics and intros to take more of the developed courses that are usually recommended for older ages. he doesn’t know that izuku is just a naturally smart kid with the ability to fill the gaps of his young mind with knowledge upon knowledge, storing and stacking them until he feels that he’s laid a sturdy foundation for his fake quirk.

then izuku began threading into different areas. he learns how to get into cyberspaces; hacking into accounts and delving more into how to access private information. he doesn’t thread too close lest he gets caught, but he learns the logistics of maneuvering around the web and burrowing in empty spaces to branch out his own. he creates and designs web algorithms for himself, just so he doesn’t trigger anyone who is looking into the web movements. he hones this and uses it to access more information.

then when he deems it enough, he turns his attention to something more tangible and something more physical. he learns other ways to be a hero; how to fight without a physical quirk, how to win against bigger opponents, how to use analysis quirk in fights.

izuku becomes more than a fake analysis quirk user; he creates it.

mental quirks are hard to describe, more so to compress, thus he creates new definitions of an analysis quirk. what used to be a silly lie is now a tangible fact that izuku believes in. because what makes a quirk? because what makes analysis a quirk? he learns these semantics (often political) and uses it to his advantage.

then he finally threads to hero analysis. at first it were classmates he analyzed; eyes running quickly at their forms and watching with great interest before calculating everything he’s seen and transversing it with the things he learned, and bridges these two facts together to create an analysis. it was a struggle at first: he didn’t know which to put emphasis on until he realizes, he doesn’t need to. he weaves them together and lets his analysis run long and watches how his hobby comes into fruition.

following his classmates are current heroes. these were more tough and more fun, and any of the information is less shared. he doesn’t tell his classmates or teachers about his analyses, only katsuki. and katsuki’s breath hitch every damn time at izuku’s talent quirk.

it is in their second year of middle school that midoriya begins to incorporate the facts with himself to create physical performances. the issues and things he learned through observing are now practiced by himself. he calculates the best way to fight with a body as petite as his, often taking examples from pro-hero hawks and other women heroes. their agilities and physicality suit izuku’s young body; he doesn’t see the merit in punching his way through things when he physically cannot.

so he learns ways to ease his muscles. he learns ballet and gymnastics; lets his muscles contort and mend themselves anew. he finds his balance and roots himself firmly, and learns to calculate his actions so he doesn’t waste his energy. katsuki doesn’t say anything, but he sees izuku’s dance and falls in love.

then in the spring of their third year of middle school, izuku learns how to build and handle weapons.

this is the easiest. izuku learns that weapons aren’t tools, but extensions of his arms and hands. they are not to be revered and not to be depended on because they can fail. instead, he learns to wield weapons as though they are parts of his bodies. he learns how to use swords and often narrowing to wooden sticks that can be picked up anywhere; he learns how to fire guns and how to hide daggers in his uniform. he learns that his body is the best weapon to use and that tools are just arsenal to help him win.

then he learns how to build them.

by summer, izuku begins reaching into UA’s servers. they are hard codes to crack, but not impossible. it takes him five days to access old entrance exam videos. the next day, the videos are snuffed and he is left to try digging deeper into UA.

he fails.

nezu must have caught onto his codes and proceeded to build walls against it.

so he slithers out. but a five minute video of last year’s entrance exam is enough for izuku because he learns two things: one, heroes must defeat villains and two, heroes must save others.

izuku prepares for this. unknowingly, katsuki is taught these same principles. katsuki would grumble and tell him that he knows what heroes must do, but izuku continues to hammer it down to him.

by the time of the UA entrance exam, izuku falls into the ease of having a fake quirk. he passes the written exam with flying colours and although it took three teachers to approve his support gears (present mic had to pull in powerloader, midnight, and hound dog to ensure that the well designed support gears are made by the hero student examinee and not by a support student examinee. majima saw the works and begged nezu to allow izuku to be his student.), izuku still succeeds and dominates the entrance exam.

when the zero pointer was released, he had flung himself towards the girl crushed by debris and yanks her out. he doesn’t waste a modified grenade to explode the zero pointer because through his calculations, doing so would not only create more collateral damage, but would also endanger the examinee in his arms because she still would be caught in the crossfire.

nezu hums in appreciation from the screening room, after all, smart minds always do think alike.

izuku gets a whopping 92 in the physical aspects of the entrance exam.

katsuki gets 85.

aizawa gleefully takes them in.

izuku thinks that no one will ever know of his and inko’s secret, but one look at nezu’s beady eyes and he knew that the stoat knew. it became a game to them, then. a game to see who else would realize.

and while izuku is smart, he doesn’t realize that nezu has basically taken him as his personal student the moment he and izuku had created a bet.

it takes two months for aizawa to figure things out. surprisingly, he is the only one to do so and he only realizes due to the many untimely attacks of LoV.

——

how angst would it be if katsuki realizes that izuku’s always been quirkless during their captivity in the LoV’s hideout.

[accuratepicuresofanthropologists]

Katherine Dunham

via the LOC. Dunham at the age of 16, according to Joanna Dee Das’s biography of Dunham.

Katherine Dunham’s parents broke the color barrier when they moved to the posh Chicago suburb of Glen Ellyn. Her mother, Fanny, was a well-educated school principal who was light enough to pass for white. Her husband, Albert, was a decade younger than her and much darker. When they bought land to build a house, people assumed Fanny was a widow and Albert her servant. When they found out the truth, someone lobbed a bomb through the window of their house. Undeterred, Albert got his shotgun and sat watch outside his property until the home was complete. No one bothered them again [Dee Das loc 493].

Dunham never got to know her mother well. Fanny passed away of stomach cancer when Dunham was three years old. Her father remarried and became abusive. She and her brother Albert Jr. moved between Glen Ellyn, Joliet, and the South Side of Chicago as they grew up. It was not easy being shuffled between different members of her extended family. In addition to the normal difficulties of such dislocations, Dunham also experienced radical shifts of class as she moved from middle class homes to families where she knew extreme want and deprivation. Katherine developed an interest in theater, dance, and world cultures. For instance, she scandalized some members of her church when she performed an “Oriental” dance at a cabaret which she organized as a fundraiser. At the same time, she learned emotional detachment and aimed for intellectual sophistication. This mix of passion and disengagement would become a central feature of her personality.

Katherine’s brother Albert was admitted to the University of Chicago, and a year later in 1928 she joined. Chicago was a rare example of a university which had no racial or gender restrictions. It’s new president Robert Hutchins had just pushed through an ambitious reform of the college:it admitted freshman at the age of sixteen, who skipped their last two years of high school. Courses were optional: the college would grant a degree to any students who could complete a series of grueling six hour long examinations. It was an atmosphere that bred self-reliance, rigor, and independence. Most students attended the classes which prepared them for examination, but others — such as Dunham — could do as they wanted. 

And there was a lot for Dunham to do. Like Harlem, Chicago was in the throes of a black renaissance in the late 1920s and early 1930s. Dunham became active at The Cube Theatre, an experimental and interracial space and in 1930 created the Ballet Nègre, a black dance company who performed ballet, which had only became a fine art in the United States. Influenced by Isadora Duncan, Ruth Page, as well as her teacher and partner Ludmila Speranzeva, Dunham opened a dance school that mixed ballet, modern art, and ‘primitive rhythms’. She also began developing choreography that combined these different currents of dance.

via the NYT. Katherine Dunham in L’Ag’ya in 1938 according to Joanna Dee Das’s biography of Dunham.

Dunham’s interest in non-Western cultures led her to anthropology. She began working closely with Robert Redfield, at the University of Chicago, and Melville Herskovits at Northwestern. Herskovits was a Boas student with a focus on Africa. He was interested in ‘acculturation’, a popular theoretical current of the 1930s which examined how cultures gained and lost new traits. His best known work argued that African Americans retained African cultural traits and did not have their customs and traditions completely obliterated by slavery. When Dunham expressed an interest in the connections between African American and other forms of dance, he suggested that she apply for fa Rosenwald fund grant.

Although little-known today, the Rosenwald fund had a huge impact in anthropology. Julius Rosenwald was a nice Jewish boy from Springfield, Illinois who rose to become the head of Sears and Roebuck, which was then stationed in Chicago. After he had made his millions, he created the Rosenwald Fund to give it away. It was an unusual philanthropy. Unliked Carnegie or Rockefeller, Rosenwald did not want to be remembered or memorialized. The only reason there is a ‘Rosenwald Hall’ at the University of Chicago is that the building was completed when he was on vacation, and when he came back to find his name on it he was too bashful to ask that it be sandblasted off [see Diner for details]. Rosenwald also wanted his to have a real and immediate impact, so unlike Rockefeller and others, he insisted that all of it be spent in the years after his death. He was particularly attracted to the cause of black education, and his fund built almost 5,000 elementary schools - 4,977 to be precise — for blacks in the south [Diner loc 2297]. More than two thirds of southern blacks went to these schools.

The fund also supported artists and academics, and Dunham was both. Her original grant application to the foundation requested money for her to study ballet and then travel to Egypt and Ethiopia and immerse herself in ancient civilizations. When the committee interviewed her and asked for clarification, she said “it would be easier if I just showed you”, took off her shoes, and began dancing. They funded her, but for a much smaller and more Herskovitian project: She would visit the Caribbean and study African elements in Jamaica, Haiti, and the Bahamas. From June 1935 to April 1936 Dunham did her fieldwork in the Caribbean and fell in love with Haiti in particular. She was initiated into voodoo in a lave tete ceremony and rubbed elbows with some of the country’s most impressive thinkers and politicians. Haiti became central to her life, both because of its rich and powerful dance traditions and because it enabled her to see black people as a diaspora community whose connection was stronger than the ties of nationality.

On her return to the United States, Dunham found she could no longer balance the life of an academic with the life of a dancer. She graduated with a Ph.B. (an bachelor degree) from Chicago in August 1936. abandoned her plan to pursue an MA, and became a full-time dancer. She slowly developed what became known as Dunham Technique: a mix of ballet, modern, and Afro-Caribbean elements which was distinctly her own. She was opposed to the then-prevalent view that black people had an intuitive knowledge of primitive dance but were untrainable in sophisticated white fine art traditions of dance. She believed, rather, that primitive dance was a cross-cultural phenomenon found in primitive societies all over the world, and that it needed to be taught just as ballet was taught — none of her American students naturally took to Haitian dance just because they were black, after all. For instance, she choreographed a ‘Melanesian’ style dance called Rarotonga, despite the fact that Rarotonga is in the Cook Islands, far from Melanesia. She choreographed hula without having studied with a kumu. She was opposed to the gratuitous sexualization of black women’s bodies for the white male gaze, but felt sexuality was a powerful and primal force in human life which was deeply connected to the religious and spiritual sides of human nature — she was, after all, married to Damballah. And she certainly had no problem flaunting her sexuality on stage as well as using off-stage. When she created choreography which was abstract, modern, and also distinctly black, white elite audiences turned away. When she incorporated ethnographic and erotic elements, they called it entertainment and not art. In the 1940s when Pearl Primus and others are explicitly creating political art, Dunham’s work was seen as insufficiently dedicated to racial uplift. In the 1950s, when nations in Africa became independent, nationalists seeking to protect and promote their cultural heritage wondered why an American was performing ‘African’ dance.

via the Dee Das biography

Dunham spent the late 1930s in Chicago and on Broadway, taking larger and larger roles dancing and choreographing numbers. She established a style of revue in which different dances from different parts of the world would be performed, often with a simple romantic narrative. She began incorporating dance forms from the American south, on at least one occasion performing in black face, despite her lack of familiarity with that region of the country. Dunham became a Broadway star — she had at last arrived. During the 1940s she made the leap to movies, moving to Hollywood and starring in several adaptations of her Broadway numbers. She aimed to use dance to introduce people to other cultures, but succeeded in becoming a favorite pin-up girl for black GIs fighting in World War II. She also married her set designer, a white man named James Pratt. An interracial marriage was tremendously difficult in the 1940s, not the least because the black literati expected Dunham to marry inside the community. She and Pratt would have a long and loving marriage, despite the fact that they would spend extended periods away from each other, and that Dunham slept with many people who were not Pratt, even settling down with one of them for several years. Unable to bear children, she eventually adopted a daughter who was raised by Pratt, Dunham, and the extended family of Dunham’s dance company and close acquaintances.

Dunham in Le Jazz Hot in 1939 via the US Library of Congress.

The cultural and sexual politics of Dunham’s work and its reception by different audiences was complex. This image from the Dunham archive at Southern Illinois University dates from 1 November 1952 carried the caption “ "THE LEGS  THAT PUT A KICK INTO ANTHROPOLOGY - She's here again, her legs as long and lithe as ever. And scholarly old gentlemen are polishing up their pince-nez and hoping for another lecture. Katherine Dunham, the girl with a kick like a million volts - here she is doing the Cakewalk - is paying her second visit to the West End, leading an American troupe of dancers. But Katherine, besides being a dancer, is a Bachelor of Arts and a Bachelor of Philosophy. She was invited to talk about Negro cults to the Royal Anthropological Society." 

Dunham grew disgusted with Hollywood, lamenting the fact that she would never be cast as anything other than a maid [Dee Das]. She moved to New York in 1944 and opened the Katherine Dunham School of Dance. The school was a marvel. It was co-organized by Franz Boas’s daughter Franziska, who was also interested in exploring anthropology and dance. The school was integrated and offered lessons in dance as well as classes in anthropology and other subjects. It represented Dunham’s vision of a holistic education which included the whole body and cultivated cultured individuals. It was also incredibly popular, attracting anthropologists such as Claude Lévi-Strauss, then just a down-on-his luck refugee from World War II — he attended the lectures, not the dance lessons! In addition to a number of dancers who would go on to be important (such as singer Eartha Kitt, who played Bat Woman in the first Batman TV show), she attracted movie stars such as James Dean and Marlon Brando. Mongo Santamaria and other musicians were involved with her in this period. The school would close in 1955 as Dunham focused on her dancing company.

The school ultimately closed. Like many of Dunham’s other projects it suffered from a mix of grand ambition and neglect. Dunham’s vision was always impracticably large, and she was perpetually working on several projects at once. What’s more, she was not an able administrator. She was a micromanager who wanted to be involved in every decision that was made, but rarely had time to make these decisions. She delegated jobs to people who she trusted, even if they were not especially competent. She was not good with money. Running a school of dance or a dance company is almost impossible to manage financially, and Dunham tried to do both simultaneously. Even worse, her penurious childhood had left her with expensive tastes and a love for a lavish, glamorous, and expensive lifestyle. It also left her with a heart of gold, and she loved to offer students scholarships and tuition reductions to her school. As a result, most of Dunham’s projects failed, and she herself lived on a financial tightrope, living a glamorous, jet-setting life while always a few months away from poverty. In 1950, for example, she had a romantic affair with the Pakistani prince Ali Khan, who gave her a diamond necklace. She pawned it to pay her dance company’s bills [dee das p. 102].

In 1947 Katherine Dunham took her dance company on a world tour. It would last fourteen years, until 1961. World War II was over, the Cold War had begun, and Dunham’s company made her an international superstar. She was know note world over as a celebrity, and intellectual, and a member of the new global high society. America was now a world superpower, and the State Department was eager to promote Dunham as cultural ambassador. Her status as a black woman performing American  cultural dances with diaspora connections made her an ideal foil for Communist claims that America was a racist country. Dunham paid a price for the support. For instance, her dance number Southland was groundbreaking in its portrayal of a lynching, but was shelved after a frosty reception from the US government. While Dunham felt revolutionary politics and propagandistic art were beneath her, the FBI had opened a filed on her during her time in Hollywood. She may have travelled abroad in part to avoid MacCarthyism. No doubt this had a chilling effect on her political involvement as well.

Dunham at Habitation Leclerc ca 1958 from the SIU archives. There is YouTube video (unattributed) which features an interview with her in French from around this period.

Dunham disbanded her company in 1960. They had run out of money and she was tired of being rootless and unsettled. In 1951 she had purchased an estate in Haiti, Habitation Leclerc, and had tried running it as a medical clinic, cultural center, and residence during her time on tour. She now met Dick Frisell, a twenty four year old trust funder from Sweden. They become lovers and she, decades older than him, convinced him to settle down in Haiti with her and use his fortune to renovate the property. They called themselves husband and wife and, remarkably, lived together with Pratt, her husband, and her daughter Marie-Christine. Leclerc was formerly a mansion where French colonizers lived and tortured slaves. Dunham was made a citizen of Haiti by François Duvalier and settled there just as he appointed himself president for life and used state terrorism to secure his position. Dunham became involved once again in Voodoo, becoming a mambo. She turned the estate into a tourist resort, desperately trying to keep poor Haitians (she called them squatters) off the grounds and find ways to finance the tremendous cost of the property. During this period she was also a cultural consultant in Dakar. An American who was considered an expert on Haiti who might also be a settler in Haiti, and an African-American whose essentialized conception of African dance were not welcomed by a modernizing and nationalist Senegal, Dunham’s intercultural position was increasingly under question.

In 1967 Dunham began the final chapter of her life when she moved to East St. Louis. Her brother-in-law was a professor at Southern Illinois University in Carbondale. He connected her with the university, hoping she could choreograph productions there or become a professor of dance. The civil rights era had brought tremendous interest in bringing people of color into the university, and education was heavily funded during this baby boomer era. SIU was a state school which traditionally served students from the farmlands which surrounded it. Increasingly, however, it hoped to attract students from East St. Louis. East St. Louis (the half of St. Louis which is on the eastern side of the Mississippi and thus in Illinois and not Missouri) was a picture of white flight. Once a prosperous town, it had hollowed out after World War II as jobs dried up and the middle class moved out. Now a majority black community, it suffered from poverty and high crime rates. SIU saw this as a community it could serve, and helped fund Dunham when she established her Performing Arts Training Center (PATC) there in June 1967.

Now in her sixties, Dunham put dancing aside and focused her energies on Leclerc and the PATC. She slowly built up the PATC as a community institution, drawing men — who in this age of Black Power felt dancing was feminine — into the center through drumming lessons. She taught children and added classes in anthropology and other topics. She took her children company to the White House, mobilizing the community and demonstrating the power of the arts to bring people together. When community members were arrested, she followed them to jail to make sure the police did not abuse them. After the assassination of Martin Luther King, Dunham worked with the community to stop the self-destructive rioting which was tearing her neighborhood apart. While she was still under FBI scrutiny, Dunham was able in the late 1960s to perform the political choreography that she wanted. 

Source

Dunham was a vital person and had a long life. Although increasingly frail and wheelchair-bound, Dunham lived to be 93 years old, passing in 2006. By the time of her death, she was remembered as a pioneer dancer and civil rights advocate, and much of the controversy about her earlier career was forgotten. Today she is remembered as a major force in American dance as well as in anthropology.

[pillow-anime-talk]

his talented baby. {pt.1}

synopsis: You as a person with a huge (and hidden) talent, and also a girl who really surprises your boyfriend.

# tags: scenarios; current relationships; romance; fluff; some PDA; sfw

includes: female reader ft. ken kaneki & nishiki nishio {tokyo ghoul} + yuuma isogai & itona horibe {assclass}

— KEN (ft. singing)

Your closest friends invited you to a popular karaoke bar on one Friday night to celebrate a successfully passed semester in college. Of course, you couldn’t forget about your lovely boyfriend, who was at the same university, but in a different field (i.e. Japanese literature) and always supported you with all his might, knowing how much you want to do your dream job in the future.

So you went to the meeting together, and on the way to the designated place you talked all the time about what the next year of study would bring you. As soon as you reached the room where your three closest besties and one male friend were waiting for you, you both greeted them warmly, immediately taking off your thick coats and taking your seats on a soft, leather couch next to a table filled with tasty-looking snacks and colorful drinks.

Long minutes of conversations between the six of you resulted in drunk plenty of alcohol and blushes on the faces. After drinking, you always got more talkative and more self-confident, so you suggested using the TV and the karaoke machine. Of course, you first offered your friends and Ken to sing something, but they all declined, saying that you should start as an initiator. One of the girls, blonde-haired Minami, smiled at you with a sparkle in her pretty golden eyes, adding that you are the best in this and you should show how to do it correctly. You chuckled in response, waving your hand at her to dismiss compliment.

Kaneki, on the other hand, frowned as he looked at the boy who was sitting on his right.

“... Oh, you don’t know? Y/N-san hasn’t yet praised herself to you that she has a wonderful voice? Huh, huh.” The black-haired boy shook his head, reaching for the glass filled with blue something again. “Hmmm, well. Normally Y/N’s very shy, but she always sings at trips when she’s drunk.” He chuckled while you picked one of your favorite songs in the meantime. So everyone looked at your standing figure, then heard the characteristic sounds from one of Selena Gomez’s songs coming from the gray speakers.

“My dear, I dedicate it to you~!” You looked with joy on your face towards the eighteen-year-old, giving him a quick wink, and then you started your little performance with ‘Love you like a love song’ from the above-mentioned artist.

Your friends didn’t seem surprised and instead started clapping to the beat of the music... but Ken’s eyes widened and he spat out his high-percentage drink, not knowing how to react to the fact that for nine, long months of your relationship, you concealed the fact that you could sing so well and so beautifully. Your voice was perfect for the song that was playing now, and you seemed to be having a great time – there was a huge smile on your lips, your eyelids were slightly closed and your hand was over your heart. If it weren’t for the fact that you were at a karaoke bar, everyone would definitely think you are playing a concert on the biggest stage in Tokyo city.

After the song was over, another girl got up to present a completely different choice, and you handed her the dark microphone, bowing in the process.

Kaneki still seemed speechless and as soon as you sat down next to him, he immediately kissed you on the warm forehead, asking you to sing more to him, especially when you two are going to be alone, because he probably fell in love with you once again and just wanted to experience that love every day thereafter.

— NISHIKI (ft. ballet)

Nishiki, as a pharmacy student, didn’t have much time for extra-curricular activities or unnecessary meetings; in addition, the fact that he was a bloodthirsty ghoul and had to watch over himself made it difficult for him to function normally in the life of Kamii University. However, the brown-haired man always found time for you, for his beloved girlfriend.

You had been dating for over three, long years, and the man definitely couldn’t imagine his own life without you by his side. You knew each other better than anyone else in this world, but sometimes some tiny things of your ordinary day eluded Nishio; of course you understood it perfectly and you weren’t angry or disappointed with him. After all, he had to protect himself, you, take care of his specific menu, be vigilant at every step, and additionally he had to pretend to be the perfect student, senpai (or kouhai) and friend of other people.

So you weren’t surprised when one day you handed him a silverish ticket for probably the most important show of your life and he just looked at you in wonderment. At the beginning, the twenty-year-old asked if it was a performance related to singing or playing an instrument due to the fact that the colorful paper didn’t tell him too much, but you just smirked as you tweaked the unruly, soft hair on his head.

“Hmm. If you don’t remember what I do in my free time, it’s even better, I guess. Come and see it for yourself, honey. I think that thanks to this you will even calm down a little and rest due to the recent weeks.” You announced in a light tone of voice, and the young man sighed under his breath.

“So... I’ll find out in three days, am I right?” He made sure by correcting his glasses and you nodded, then grabbing his rough hand and kissing his cool cheek. A short while later you suggested going to your apartment and catching up on a few episodes of your favorite series that you started quite recently.

The anticipation of your important day passed very quickly and on Saturday, at 6 p.m., when everyone took their seats (with your boyfriend sitting on one of the balconies with the best view of the stage), delicate music was played in the theater, which made everyone shiver on the whole body. Until then, the brown-eyed boy somewhere in the back of his head had the impression that it was a theater performance or an opera, but when he saw your person appear on stage in a beautifully tailored dress and ballet shoes, all the questions that flickered in his mind disappeared in literally one second.

‘Well, yeah. I remember now. She always told me about ballet classes and new shoes.’ A huge, proud smirk came on his pale face and you glanced out of the corner of your eye towards his VIP seat.

Though your expression was cold and composed, you felt an enormous heat in your small heart as the man waved at you, showing two thumbs up. His lips moved even slightly, and although Nishiki tried to hide it, you knew perfectly well that the pink blush and mute ‘I love you’ was sincere and even better than being able to play Odetta, the White Swan, in a ballet spectacle.

— YUUMA (ft. songwriting and guitar playing)

Christmas at school was never what you enjoyed; maybe due to the fact that before, your classmates on main campus were quite specific and you definitely didn’t fit with their strange ‘ideals’. It was only in the class E that you felt that you could find real friends or people who would share your ideas.

But, hmm. Still, you seemed to stand out from the rest of the girls in the class who had more... down-to-earth hobbies or characters than you; Okuda liked chemistry and was really excellent at it, Kirara loved reading, Rio was the best at English and had a great sense of fashion, and Toka was pretty good at cooking. Contrary to them, you preferred to... do more ‘intimate’ things. Writing short poems filled your heart with peace and prevented you from being as critical of yourself as usual. And when you wrote the lyrics of the songs, made notes or melodies to them and sang quietly, you could feel like a real artist that everyone wanted to admire and imitate.

Therefore, when your first and last class holidays with the rest of the 3-E students were fast approaching, Koro-sensei was the one who asked you for a short talk. You weren’t sure what this was about, but moments later your uncertainties were dispelled.

“Y/N-san, I think you mistook your notebooks today and instead of giving me your homework, you gave to me... this.” He said in his as always happy voice, and seeing the black notebook in which you always wrote songs and notes, you blushed all over your face, apologizing profusely for the mistake. “Huh? But this is no mistake, my dear. If it weren’t for this, I would never even think that we have such a talented soul in Class 3-E. So would you like to perform in front of the rest of the students and teachers during the holidays?” The easy question made you widen your eyes and sighed.

“I-I’ve never played in front of anyone, so...” You admitted shyly, and the tall, yellow octopus just chuckled.

“I’m pretty sure they will love it. We can practice together.”

Well, you couldn’t refuse (especially when Koro-sensei offered to bring your favorite, foreign snacks...) and on class Christmas day you showed up with your acoustic guitar and a notebook full of chords and songs. Everyone was surprised and curious at how well you play guitar. After all, you’ve never even mentioned that you can play any instrument before. On the other hand, the class representative, and your boyfriend at the same time, immediately came up to you, asking if you were really okay; better than anyone else, Isogai knew that you didn’t like too much attention and big crowds. But you reassured him it was okay and promised your teacher you would do it, so you smiled at him and then took your seat under the blackboard with a wooden guitar on your lap.

The song you chose for the day was a song you wrote quite recently. It had a little bit of magic, and at the same moment it seemed very romantic and delicate. Even Karma seemed delighted with your beautiful play and soft voice that echoed from time to time between the walls of huge classroom.

At the end of the song, you decided to raise your gaze and simultaneously look at your all friends, three teachers and other half; everyone was really happy and positively speechless. So you gave Yuuma a slight wink, making him blush sweetly.

The young teenager definitely hoped you would show him more of your songs someday, not necessarily the happy Christmas carols Kaede and Ritsu asked for.

— ITONA (ft. dancing)

“... You never mentioned that you can dance.” He admitted softly, and you squeezed his smooth hand tighter.

“So... I mention it right now. It’s not a big deal, baby. I just ... like it and enjoy it a lot.” You giggled as you correcting the black sports bag over your shoulder, then opened the heavy door to the training room, immediately jumping up at the sound of loud squeals and greetings from your closest friends. “Guys, this is Itona Horibe, my boyfriend that I told to you before! Love, it’s Aki-chan, Yui-chan, Kazuya-kun, Saburo-kun, and our cameraman and editor Ryuu senpai. Most often, the five of us cooperate with each other when it comes to dance in groups of five people. And... today we are going to cover a song so I hope you’ll like it. I’ll go change and you all, please, don’t scare my boyfriend and give him something to drink!”

As a group leader, you often came up with choreographies and warm-ups for yourself and others. So, it couldn’t be otherwise this time. For the last week and a half you have been practicing the choreo you came up with and today you were supposed to record material for the video on your quite popular YouTube account. You were extremely excited, not only with the new content, but most of all with the fact that your beloved one would be able to watch it live and evaluate your skills that have been refined over the years. So as soon as you got back to the teens waiting for you, you kissed the light-blue-haired quickly on the right cheek and told him that he could sit against the wall, close to the table full of snacks and the contact for charging the phone.

Then you talked with everyone for a while, doing a short warm-up and reminding the cameraman about how to move the cam. A few short minutes later, you lined up in the middle of a huge white room with Ryuu in front of you. You knelt down in the center, of course, gently moving your shoulders to calm your rapidly pounding heart and heavy breathing, and when a song by Ariana Grande started playing all over the bright room, you all looked at the already activated camera, shaking your heads and then you got up from the wooden floor.

Itona... was speechless. He has never seen people dancing before, he has never even been interested in others, only you and what you like. Today he got to know your little passion, which turned out to be a breathtaking talent, and the boy wondered if you could do anything else; are you good at one specific dance genre or are you able to move your body in a completely different rhythm than he currently saw?

From Koro-sensei’s history lessons, when you two were in junior high, the eighteen-year-old remembered perfectly well that there is also classical dance, tango and breakdance. So could you also do that? He had to ask you about it later.

But now his curious gaze was focused on you and your huge, radiant smile, and the sound of feet hitting the ground. He also looked at your legs, tiny hands, stomach, and hair, while he wondered if he might learn to dance too, to be even closer to you and your hobby. After all, you looked so beautiful and so joyful... He wanted to share these emotions.

[namethat-i-oughttohavetoldyou]

Hi this is @fluffytuffles and I don't have any particular questions but if you wanna use this as an opportunity to infodump here ya go 😁

Oh!! Sjskfjksdajsdhjsf that's so sweet of you!

Okay, I will say something to the stage that most Cats productions use, because it's a little unusual for dancing. Under the cut because it got longer than I meant it to be.

You see, dancing on a slippery floor is basically a death sentence, or at least really, really hard to do, especially with such a demanding choreography as Cats has. So usually, a so-called "dance-carpet" (tbh, I don't know what it's called in English, but deepL translator said it was dance-carpet) gets taped on the floor. This carpet isn't a carpet in the traditional sense, but it's something like a plastic tarp that you can cut to your needed length and width. When you need a dance-carpet "to-go", dance teachers just bring a roll of the stuff with them and stick it to the floor with duct tape. In my dancing school, we have one studio with normal parquet floor and one newer studio with fancy dance-carpet floor (yes, you can also order it as flooring instead of a big roll of tarp). In the fancy studio, you go in there, put on your dance shoes, and you're good to go. In the old studio however, you put on your ballet slippers, either wet the soles with water or rub some colophonium (that's a type of resin for pointe shoes... and for violins.) on the bottom and only then you're good to go without sliding around like you're on ice. I'm exaggerating, but you get the gist. The older a dance-carpet gets, the more slippery it gets, so you will have to use other means to have "grip" on the floor. Think of it like the chalk or magnesium powder that acrobats use, but for shoes.

Well, now to the Cats stage: if you look at it, you don't really see a plastic tarp there. No, actually, you could see your mirror image in that floor because it is smooth and slippery as fuck. I suspect this is mostly because half of the actors spend the show crawling and sliding around on their knees (just look out for it; in some productions the kitten actors literally dive down and slide across the entire fucking stage in one go), and they'd need really thick fabric on their trousers to not rip it after going slippy-slide on a dance-carpet for like five minutes. It's more ouch than getting floor burn on a school gym floor, btw. Their jazz shoes most probably have received some kind of treatment so they won't slide right off the stage into the audience, but the use of that only goes so far. Given how many of them are running around there, there's gonna be some kind of dust and dirt on the stage, and if they don't have like a two centimeter layer or resin on their shoes, which I highly doubt, then it'll probably smooth the shoes' soles over the course of the show.

The point I am trying to get to here is: the amount of body control and safety and self-trust the dancers have to have to dance on that stage is insane. All those spins and jumps and especially the acrobatic shit that Tumblebrutus-actors do? I'd bet that a lot of practice went into doing that on a smooth-as-glass floor.

Just-- I have so much respect for everyone who ever danced (or even just ran across the stage!) in Cats while singing while making it look like it's just your regular floor.

[onlyanidala]

onlyanidala fic archive

These are fics with titles J-P.

A-D     E-I     R-T     U-Z

searchable desktop version available here

more anidala fics can also be found in our fic tag!

the link for each fic can be found by clicking the title!

Title: just a bliss Author:  stranestelle Status: complete Rating: T Summary:  A lightheaded Anakin Skywalker wakes up to the heavenly vision that is Padmé Amidala. Can you blame the man for wanting to kiss his wife on the spot? Well you can, when the whole thing is witnessed by a room full of senators caught in a hostage situation... and she'd really rather they had waited for later.

Title: just carry me home tonight Author: gemma Status: complete Rating: R Summary:  "I – I didn't mean to, it's only that… Well, the Force, it lets me feel… What you feel, and I know this wasn't exactly what you imagined for your wedding night, so I…" His flesh hand rose to scratch his neck awkwardly, "I suppose I just wanted to make this special for you…"

Title: king of my heart Author:  catiiasofia & misschrisdaae Status: complete Rating: T Summary:  Anakin Skywalker's holiday to the small country of Naboo takes an unexpected turn when he unknowingly foils an assassination attempt meant for Padmé Naberrie, the nation's Crown Princess. Saving a Princess is crazy enough. The only thing crazier... well, actually, there are a few things. Things Anakin is well on his way to experiencing.

Title: lights in the valley outshine the sun Author: elizabeth7 Status: complete Rating: G Summary:  What would happen if Padme survived and Darth Vader finds out? Padme & Anakin Darth Vader.

Title: look into my eyes it’s where my demons hide Author: shelivesfree Status: WIP/Unupdated Rating: T Summary:  Each time he comes back to her, a little piece of him is missing... left out there, in the field, with his brothers. She can see it in the way he smiles and it doesn't reach his eyes. In the way he cries to himself when he thinks she's not awake. And all she can do is hold him.

Title: lost Author: pinkeastereggs Status: complete Rating: G Summary:  “I feel lost." “Lost . . . what do you mean?” Padme couldn’t help but frown, searching for any signs on her husband’s face that could give her an insight to what he meant. But Anakin was just frowning to the side, seeming conflicted about something. He seemed distant, his eyes filled with an emotion that the young wife couldn’t begin to describe. How long had Anakin had this look in his eyes? Had she been oblivious to it before now or was this something new? Anakin and Padme have a heart-to-heart when he admits to feeling lost and frustrated with the Jedi Council. With truths about his relationship with Palpatine coming to light, Padme fights to talk some sense into her husband.

Title: madam president Author: skywalkersamidala Status: complete Rating: R Summary:  Between late nights and headaches and mountains of paperwork and fierce opposition from her political opponents, President Padmé Amidala already had enough on her plate. And then she just had to go and fall for one of her bodyguards, a relationship which would ruin her reputation and his career if anyone were to find out about it. Also, someone's trying to kill her.

Title: make the world a little colorful Author: estrangedlestrange Status: WIP Rating: G Summary:  The morning after meeting her soulmate, Padmé woke up and saw color for the first time. In the midst of a political crisis, Padmé had just met a gungan, two Jedi, and a slave boy and his mother. She, like any rational young woman, assumed the padawan learner was her soulmate. Ten years later, after having accepted that she would never be with her soulmate, Padmé, reunited with both her supposed soulmate and the slave boy, she realized how wrong her assumptions were. The slave boy, Anakin, who had looked at her with wide hopeful eyes and asked if she was an angel, was her soulmate.

Title: the masterplan Author: stranestelle Status: complete Rating: T Summary:  In the midst of the endless galactic conflict, Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala have made a shocking discovery that brings more questions than answers. And maybe, just maybe, an end to the never-ending war. Sequel to Give Me A Signal.

Title: mother knows best Author:  catiiasofia & misschrisdaae Status: complete Rating: M Summary:  A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.... Shmi Skywalker Palpatine had ruled the Galactic Empire on behalf of her son, Anakin, since the death of his father. For his part, the next Emperor has been content to leave politics to his mother and engage only in military exercises. All that is about to change as Padmé Naberrie, former Queen of Naboo, comes seeking aid for her charity, Amidala's Crusade, and Anakin's long-dormant crush comes surging back. What should be a perfect match is opposed by a mother determined not to lose her son and convinced hers is the only way...

Title: no colors in our skin Author:  JTHM_Michi Status: Abandoned Rating: T Summary:  Anakin grew up knowing that his masters called him the wrong words. They all called him “girl” or “girl-child” and it was just another way for them to dehumanize him. He didn’t know that, of course, not in those words, but it was true enough. His mother was always very clear with him, from the first time he came to her and asked her if she knew which master had taken his “boy parts”, that just because his masters called him a girl didn’t make him one. a.k.a. the Transgender Anakin Skywalker Verse

Title: no heroes on the high seas Author: spellcleaver Status: complete Rating: T Summary:  When Luke's aunt and uncle are executed by order of the Emperor's right hand, Lord Vader, he flees his home to search for his sister and the mother he never knew. But then Obi-Wan Kenobi stows away aboard the same ship, Vader gives chase, and Luke is dragged into a conflict that his family are at the very heart of. Gen.

Title: nos cedamus amori Author: skywalkersamidala Status: complete Rating: M Summary:  Anakin is a gladiator and a slave. Padmé is the wife of the Roman emperor's heir. Circumstances should never even allow them to meet, let alone fall in love.

Title: of mutated worlds Author: gemma Status: WIP Rating: M Summary:  Nobody saw the end of the world coming. It happened overnight, no warning, no escape. They came from the shadows, biting, paralysing, and killing little by little until they were the majority. One day, everything was normal and then, suddenly, Padme Amidala Naberrie woke up in hell.

Title: of options and comlinks Author: estrangedlestrange Status: complete Rating: G Summary:  In that moment it seemed like there were only two options: help Master Windu arrest the Chancellor and secret Sith Lord or heed to Sheev Palpatine’s begging and turn against the Jedi. But then, in a split second, a third option revealed itself.

Title: order 66-S Author: disco shop girl Status: complete Rating: M Summary:  The order was to exterminate all Jedi: Past, Present and Future. Captain Rex has a different plan. Order 66-S: to save General Skywalker.

Title: parent-teacher conference Author: skywalkersamidala Status: complete Rating: G Summary:  Anakin has to meet with the twins' second grade teacher after Leia punches a classmate in the face. But he hadn't counted on Ms. Amidala being quite so pretty.

Title: pas de deux Author:  catiiasofia & misschrisdaae Status: complete Rating: M Summary:  When Padmé Amidala and Anakin Skywalker meet at their mutual friends' house party, the sparks immediately fly, resulting in a one night stand that both of them want to be the start of something more. Except it turns out that Padmé works at the ballet company Anakin just took over. And Anakin is in the middle of a very heated divorce as he tries to gain custody of his daughter Leia. With pressure coming at them from their private and professional lives, making their fledgling relationship work will prove the biggest role of a lifetime.

Title: the path of the dark Author:  catiiasofia & misschrisdaae Status: complete Rating: T Summary:  Vader triumphs. Padmé resists. Series:Three Paths Not Followed. Series: The Darker Path.

Title: perfect Author: skywalkersamidala Status: complete Rating: G Summary:  The war is over, Luke and Leia are five years old, and Anakin and Padmé finally have the peaceful life and big family they've always dreamed of. But their life is about to get a little less peaceful and their family a little bigger.

Title: perfect strangers Author:  catiiasofia & misschrisdaae Status: complete Rating: R Summary:  Anakin Skywalker meets a masked angel at a Halloween costume ball, and the two of them hook up for the best night of his life. But when the morning comes, she is nowhere to be found. Padmé Amidala forgot to get the name of a guy she hooked up with at Halloween before running out for work on November 1. A few weeks later, she realizes she's pregnant. Two perfect strangers, certain their paths are never going to cross again. Oops.

Title: pipe dream Author: skywalkersamidala Status: complete Rating: T Summary:  Padmé's new plumber is the most attractive human being she's ever laid eyes on, so naturally, she keeps faking plumbing emergencies so she can keep seeing him.

Title: pocket full of sand Author: philthestone Status: complete Rating: T Summary:  “I’m Leia Skywalker,” she says, and there is something unfathomably life-changing about that little declaration. “We’re here to rescue you!” Luke remembers the circumstances of his mother's arrest with a frustrating amount of clarity. AU series where Anakin never falls, Padme is a spy in the senate, and the dynamic duo of Force Sensitive twins don't know they're related.

Title: purgatory Author: helent Status: complete Rating: T Summary:  A newly dead Anakin Skywalker wakes in a new world - given the appearance of his 23 year-old self. However, the self-sacrifice that ended his life has also given Anakin an unexpected boon that he isn't sure he can accept. Worse, it comes with conditions that might just be impossible to meet. A moment of redemption is one thing, but a full reformation another entirely.

[actuallyadhd]

Hi!! How r u? So, I kinda think i may have adhd? i tend not notice time flying by when im interested in something (eg. biological fitness of yersinia pestis) and i can get real spacy if i find something boring. I also tend to forget or mess stuff up even if I was paying attention eg. my ballet teacher showed a sequence and i payed attention but i still manage to mess it up somehow, but at the same time i never had trouble with school and actually quite enjoy it and my mom says i have good focus

Sent April 15, 2021

These examples are totally normal things for most people. Everyone can get so absorbed in something they’re interested in that they totally blank on the passage of time. Everyone spaces out when things are boring. Everyone makes mistakes, even when they’re paying attention. And ADHD is much more than just difficulty with focus and attention. So I can’t really say.

HOWEVER! If you are struggling with something, you 100% deserve to find out what’s going on so you can get help to deal.

As your first step, have a look at our self-diagnosis post (https://actuallyadhd.tumblr.com/post/117637029570/adhd-self-diagnosis), and then if you still think ADHD is a possibility, talk to your parents about the difficulties you’re having and ask if they can help you get assessed. Do that anyway if you’re struggling.

-J

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Tw: Minor use of sarcasm, mention of abusive teacher/coach, triggers, warning it’s mostly a vent

Hi I’m sorry to bother you, but as it is approaching holiday season, I just got a new gift! i found out a trigger! (Sarcasm ends here!) And it’s unavoidable! It’s the soundtrack for a very popular Christmas ballet that I really used to enjoy. And while normally I could just not listen to it, I have to go to a performance of it for my younger sister, who has the same teacher that had been cruel to me and several others, destroying my self esteem. I’m so tired. Its just not fair. Why does this person get to be so happy and run their show, and now I can barely listen to music I love? Why can’t anyone believe that she did hurt me?

Hi anon, 

You are not a bother. I promise. 

I am sorry that your trigger is something you used to enjoy. You are not alone in this experience and I am sorry it is hard. 

For what it’s worth, I believe you, anon. I believe that she hurt you and it’s not fair that it’s ruined music that you love. And it’s okay to feel and acknowledge that. 

Please feel free to ignore this advice because you didn’t ask for it but I wanted to mention it in case it’s helpful. (Below the read more so it can be easily ignored.)

If this is where you stop reading, anon, please know that you are valid. You are not alone, and I believe in you. 

When it comes to dealing with triggers, grounding techniques can be so helpful. Maybe this means bringing a comfort item with you, or something you can touch to keep yourself focused. (Like a small item you can roll in your hands to focus on.) You could try bringing some sour snacks since sour can be jarring. Personally, the hard candy war heads always bring me out of grounding because they are very sour and hard to handle for me. You can also just bring gum, or other hard candies to focus on the taste. 

Some mental grounding techniques might be helpful. Things like an anchoring phrase, or thinking in categories (for example - naming every dog breed you can think of, or every tv show, etc).  I really encourage you to try some before going as they can be harder to do if you’re overwhelmed. Maybe have a plan for self care after, whatever that looks like for you. 

If it’s possible (depends on how well you can hide it) maybe you can have ear buds in? Whether you have long hair, or I’m not sure if it’s acceptable to wear a toque to be “festive” (I should probably explain that a toque I think might be known as a beanie if you’re not Canadian?). On the note of festive, maybe you could wear a “santa hat” to hide your ear buds and then play something in your ears. While it might not drown out everything completely, maybe it would give you something else to focus on. 

(Also, I get that you may be forced to go, but if you aren’t, please know it’s not wrong of you to not go if that’s an option.) 

A reminder if you kept reading that you’re valid and your trigger is valid. 

April

[mysticalphantussy]

Obey Me! HHS!AU

an obey me AU where the boys are human going to a regular degular high school? so original lmaooo

TW: mention of sexual harassment between a teacher and a student for Asmo, physical assault(it’s self defense but just in case)

Lucifer

He’s that super smart kid that’s condescending and a bit of an asshole but he’s hot and all the girls and gays love him

He’s the valedictorian. No one even came close to beating him. Not when he’s so well decorated

He’s student council VP, he helps organize all school events, he volunteers, he tutors others, won countless awards for his prowess in chess and chemistry, and takes all AP classes

If you’ve ever seen Ouran High school host club he’s Kyoya

He’s Diavolo’s right hand man and they’ve been friends forever

Gets invited out on weekends by other students and always turns them down because he’s busy

Nobody really understands how he does it. there are rumors that he’s a vampire and doesn’t sleep

Superlative: most likely to succeed

Mammon

He’s the stereotypical class clown.

he’s not as stupid as everyone thinks he is.

He needs more of a challenge because normal classes are too easy but he’s too lazy to take honors or AP because he enjoys having free time

Math is his strongest subject

He’s on the track team, he’s good in all individual events and is the last leg(person?) in the baton race because he’ll make up any time deficits

Nicknamed “the hurricane” because he’s the fastest person on the team and his hair is white

Only when his coach threatens to boot him from the team because of his grades does he get his life together and makes the honor roll. Everyone was shocked

Very competitive. Hates losing and won’t accept anything less than gold

Fashion icon. Pierced ears, leather jacket, combat boots. Surprisingly doesn’t ride a motorcycle. He also lives in his captains jacket on comfier days

Mammon’s always dating either a cheerleader or a football player

He’s a bit of a flirt, but he’s not as bad as someone we know

Superlative: class clown

Levi

WEEB

He’s not that weird kid that’ll Naruto run to his classes but he does wear anime tshirts to school everyday

He is the president of the schools anime club. He gathers his fellow weebs in the auditorium and they watch anime on the projection screen once a week

He’s in theater but he’s too nervous to perform so when play season rolls around he makes the costumes and shocks everyone with how amazing he is

He cosplays and he makes every thing himself, of course he’s amazing

He’s just really good with his hands in general. He’s an amazing artist and sculptor

The art teacher has requested less anime inspired art pieces and sculptures but still encourages him and his passions

His anime club friends mean the world to him

Gym class is mandatory but he sits out because he has “terrible” asthma

Has gotten his phone taken away in class for watching anime instead of paying attention

Superlative: most likely to survive the zombie apocalypse

Satan

He’s #2 behind Lucifer and the gap may be getting smaller due to his efforts

He may or may not have brought a cat to school once or twice

a lot of people think he’s a bit of an asshole, and they’re right

he knows he’s smarter than most and has a tendency to talk down to others... he’s working on that

don’t mention anything good about Lucy around him unless you wanna see him explode

he’s a nerd, 100% eats his lunch in the library

he’s the president of the book club

Don’t fuck with him. He may be a book nerd and a lot of people don’t know about his temper but...

He’s actually quite fit. He’s a boxer, it helps him channel his anger

The foolish people that try to pick on him end up with broken noses if he doesnt hold back.

He also knows to never hit anyone without witnesses so the teachers know the punch was justified

Superlative: most likely to take over the world

Asmo

One of the 2 male cheerleaders

The most flexible out of the entire squad

He’s a Flyer

Has flirted with every one on the squad on numerous occasions

They know he’s a flirt so they know not to take it to heart

He’s dated every football player and basketball player at least twice, except Beel. Not because Asmo didn’t try but because Beel said he looked like a handful 😂

Flirts with teachers too if it means he can get a good grade

He’s a bad student. He spends class time talking to classmates, texting or playing games on his phone

He does the bare minimum to stay on the squad(perfect 2.0GPA 😂)

Senior year, the history teacher enjoyed Asmo’s flirting a lil too much and tried to take it too far... it didn’t turn out well

Cheerleaders are athletes and while Asmo may look weak he’ll fuck you up

He knows that people think he’s weak so he takes martial arts

Not a lot because while he likes guys with big muscles he doesn’t think they suit him

Anyway, he grabbed that teachers hand and lowkey crushed it

That teacher never tried that again and gave Asmo an A all year(no the teacher wasn’t fired. You know how America is with males and sexual harassment, big yikes)

Superlative: biggest flirt and cutest couple with Solomon

Bubzie

Star quarterback on the American football team

Start forward on the basketball team

Strong AF

intimidating to freshman who’ve never seen someone that’s 6’4 and hella muscular

Carries his school stuff in his sports bag and snacks in his backpack

The lunch ladies love him, they give him extra large portions

He really is just a big teddy bear. The freshman usually steer clear but he helps them if they look lost and they realize he’s a nice person. Just tall, and strong

In the hall of fame for most 3-pointers in a single game

Also for the most sacks in football

Pretty good student as long as he’s got a snack so he can focus. When he’s hungry he falls asleep until the bell rings so he can hit up his locker for a snack or run to the vending machine

Will one hundred percent use a bathroom trip as an excuse to go buy something from the vending machine

Superlative: most likely to eat an entire buffet by himself

Belphie

That one emo-kid with the black hair covering one eye, black eyeliner, black shirts and ripped jeans

He’s also known for unintentionally intimidating the freshman

He listens to heavy metal and hates “cookie cutter” pop music

Always asleep in class. Always. Teachers don’t even bother trying to wake him up anymore

Everyone is genuinely shocked that he has all As and aces every test even though he’s always half asleep

He and Beel became friends when Beel was working out in the weight room and Belphie was looking for a place to nap and heard the band Beel was listening to and got excited

He never thought any of the lames at this school would know who SlipKnot was and the rest is history.

Beel makes sure to get Belphie lunch when he fired through the line otherwise he won’t eat

Nobody knew Belphie could smile until he and Beel became friends (my chest 🥰☺️)

If he sees anyone looking at him when smiling he’ll immediately start scowling again

Belphie will nap on the bleachers while Beel practices and then they’ll go get something to eat afterwards

He’d kill you if you ever found out, but he’s never had a real friend and he loves Beel more than anything.

People don’t understand that they’re really just friends, more like brothers tbh. They joke that Beel could be his big tiddy goth gf 😂

Beel knows belphie’s number 1 secret: he’s trained in classical ballet (his leaps are unmatched)

Superlative: most likely to burn the house down and unlikely combo with beel

[sparetimedoodler]

She hated the first day of anything. No matter how much she studied, how much information she gathered, there was always unknown variables. The first day of primary school, for example, she had learned the phonetic alphabet, her numbers up to 100 and the life cycle of the butterfly. On her visit she had memorised the layout of the classroom, particularly where the toilets were, and every teacher and TA in reception. Nothing could go wrong, except of coarse it could. The unknown variable in this case was Victoria templton. Within the first week of school Victoria templton had made sure everyone knew exactly how weird and out of place she truly was.

The same thing happened wherever she went, swim class, ballet, the playground even. Victoria templtons were everywhere, able to pinpoint who didn’t belong even if they weren’t sure why. Sometimes they were the Hugh coopers of the world, or the Tracy stones. She hoped beyond hope that this time would be different, that she wouldn’t be the odd one out anymore.

That is why she found herself holding her breath, as a boy with impossibly blonde hair strode into the compartment, looking to all intense and purposes as if he owned the train itself.

This is it she thought, “I’m Hermione Granger, nice to meet you”, she cringed at herself internally, who says their full name at age 11?!

He glared at her lingering in the doorway. Now she was sure she had made some kind of social faux pas, her first interaction with a school mate and already she would be branded an outcast. She heard the thump of the heavy heavy book falling to the compartment floor. She had nudged her over packed bag and sent it toppling, the book landing at the boys feet. He picked it up, turning it over curiously.

“Draco Malfoy. Why would you carry such a heavy book onto the train?”

So relieved he hadn’t immediately rejected her, Hermione overlooked his condescending tone, “it is quite heavy isn’t it, but I just can’t put it down. I’ve read it several times already of coarse, I like to be prepared and what better what than readying Hogwarts a History, but every time I reread it there’s something new I hadn’t seen before. I’m not sure if it’s the book or me but I just can’t put it down.” Logically Hermione new magic existed, she herself being proof, she just wasn’t entirely sure of the perameters. Were evolving books normal? Or would they call her crazy.

“You’re saying the book gives you new information about Hogwarts everytime you reread it?”

She nodded, now extremely self conscious. Then the boys eyes widened from the assessing squint he’d been giving her and she saw something come alive.

“I’ve been telling my friends this! I guess if they bothered to actually read it they might actually see for themselves!”

Hermione let out a relived little laugh, this had to be the most success she’d had with a peer. Beaming at each other they spent the next hour of the train journey looking at her copy of Hogwarts a History, debating which would be the most interesting subjects and what the mysterious sorting ceremony might involve.

“If we have to stand up in front of everyone and be sorted into a house by other students, i might just beg to be put back on the train” Hermione groaned through her hands.

Draco laughed at the ridiculous idea “Don’t be dramatic, it’s unbecoming of a lady, well that’s what mother would say,” he smirked, but she didn’t even offer half smile “You’re really worried about this? I’ll just make one of the older kids chose you, and then we can be in the same house. See not so bad now.” He folded his arms and leant back.

She looked up in shock. Had someone, someone her own age no less, actually said they would choose her? She wouldn’t be left at the bottom of the rejects pile for once, alone. She lunged forward looping her arms around his neck.

“Thank you Draco” she sniffled. Hope bubbled up in her chest at the mere thought of having just made her first long time friend. Maybe I really truely do belong here, she thought.

Beep .....beep. The sound was coming from inside her bag. She quickly let go and started rummaging in the front pockets.

“Ergh my parents made me bring this,” she held up a pager, “I tried to tell them it wouldn’t work properly in the magical world but they wanted to try.” Draco stared blankly at her as she smiled at the device. “I just need to nip to the loo.”

Smiling brightly at him she practically skipped out of the compartment. When she got back he was gone, however, before she had time to wonder, another boy came in frantically looking for a pet toad, and because Draco malfoy had made her feel as though she really belonged, it gave her all the confidence to reach out.