#holy shit i cannot believe i finished this fucking thing

[rotthepoet]

I saw you say you have writers block so feel absolutely zero pressure to do anything with this, it was just a thought I felt like you could appreciate w/ me! I saw a Ron work forever ago (cannot remember the author unfortunately) where he was your bestie and you went on a date and came back unsatisfied from your date/hookup so he took it upon himself to take care of you but can you just for a moment imagine that situation with bestie Theo 🥹

He’s already angry because you’re his girl, and pretty much everyone in the school knows that so he cannot believe the audacity of some boy asking you on a date to begin and then for you to come back teary eyed and frustrated?! He felt like he could kill the guy for it. But obviously he’s not going to leave you like that- he’d never. So he fingers you with his pretty, thick, ringed fingers until you’re so relaxed against the bed that you’re not even sure you could stand. BUT You want more. He’s so hot and god the things he whispered in your ear while he had his fingers inside you were to die for. So you ever so sweetly blink up at him, batting your eyes so cutely, and ask him to pretty please fuck you. And of course, he happily obliges.

Other boys don’t ask you on dates anymore.

Maybe you call him daddy idk I can’t really make up my mind if that would be something he’d rock with or not

oMG I DO APPRECIATE THISSS I LOVE IT

nasty ass Slytherin boys i love toxic and manipulative men 🙏

Because Theo is literally pissed all week, Mattheo keeps making a joke that hes on the rag, because theo is unfocused, smoking constantly, adhd off the wall, shits going down

If the slytherin dorms didnt have stone walls there would 100% be a hole in them.

Regardless, He’s fucking pissed. Especially the day that uou go on the date. Hes staying up all night, pacing in the common room because his ruminating was too loud for his dorm mates, and in you walk, heels in your hand, lips downturned and obviously pissed off.

And omg theo is about to kill a man. Because why the fuck do you look so fucking upset??? Holy shit.

“Bella, whats wrong? What did he do?”

“It’s not what he did, its what he didnt do. Couldn’t do, i guess.”

“Oh?”

“…”

“Oh.”

And i mean. Theo cant just leave his girl hanging, all needy and clearly unsatisfied. He approaches you, slowly, afraid you might run away. He holds your face in one hand, leaning into your ear and promising he’ll make it all better. That he’ll step up as your best friend, this is what friends are for, right?

And god when his lips are kissing down your neck, biting and sucking over the marks your failed date had left, making them his own, you cant even argue.

So its really no surprise when he has you in your bed, your dorm miraculously empty for this time of night, and uour back is to his chest, and his fingers are spreading apart your folds, and he’s mumbling so sweetly in your ear. And fuck its so hood. Its SO good. You’re finishing in now time, pussy spasming around his long fingers, the once cold metal rings now warm and stained with your arousal.

But its not enough. Nothing will ever be enough when it comes to theo. And youre so fucking whiney and pathetic and how coukd theo say no when you practically beg him to fuck you, to fill uou to the brim with his hard, heavy cock.

I mean, he would never have said no anyways.

And so there you are, face down in bed, your tears being kissed away as Theo brings you to release over and over again, your core all puffy and sensitive from overstimulation.

He isn’t stopping until half your neck is purple with his love bites, and hes sucked a makeshift “T” into your shoulder, marking you as his.

[piplupod]

talked to guy at centre about my anxiety and avoidance around applying for welfare and he was not super helpful but I expected that. however I was explaining the way I feel theres a clock ticking down to an endpoint (irt my money running out) and thats partially why I'm so stressed abt this all, and he asked me kind of hesitantly and cautiously like "...would your parents help or... ?" and I kind of was like UHHH PROBABLY NOT I DUNNO HAHA trying not to get choked up and also unsure what i can say, AND I'M JUST. ?? because what the fuck would any parents even do. if ur child runs out of money and cannot/"refuses" to work, then... what is there to do lol. like they could help w the welfare application process i guess but other than that...? i cannot think of what "help" would even mean in that situation

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is: Wormdebut! Wormdebut has published 18 fics on AO3 all in the steddie tag!

@thefreakandthehair recommends the following works by @wormdebut:

Tell Eddie He Looks Sexy With His Hair Pushed Back

Kiss Your Knuckles (Before You Punch Me In The Face)

Hell Bent For Leather

All You Have Is Your Fire

It Feels Like Fourteen Carats But No Clarity (When I Look At The Man Who Would Be King)

Worm is incredible! For a humble worm, they sure know how to write fanfiction. ;) But seriously, Worm has a way of exploring different dynamics in such depth with an immense amount of care that's so obvious in the finish products! -- @thefreakandthehair

Below the cut, Wormdebut answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

These two idiots inspire me. I mean look at them. I think the thing I love about Steve and Eddie is that to me they are destined to be together. Post-Canon, Alternate Universe. It doesn’t matter. They are meant to be together in any scenario. I could and will write about these two forever.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

Rockstar Eddie, baby. I love some good sex, drugs and rock and roll.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

Is safe (mostly)sane and consensual BDSM a trope? I like to write that. 😂

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

Tuesday’s Gone With The Wind - Thisapplepielife there is nothing quite like reading this for the first time. I truly thought I was going to explode as it was being updated.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

Omegaverse! I have a fic in the worm vault that will come out eventually. Wormegaverse. It’s coming. I’m fucking stoked for it.

What is your writing process like?

Hoooboy. It’s a mess. I cannot write an outline to save my life. (I’m looking at you King of Hell Eddie fic. I know you need an outline okay?) I tend to write in order, but if I get stuck I will skip a scene or two ahead so I can figure out how to squish two pieces of a story together OR I will write little notes about my intentions and skip it and come back. (My favorite note of all time is when I wrote “spit kink shit.” So I could remember my very pure intentions)

Do you have any writing quirks?

Boy do I! I tend to go into like writing fugue states where I will just bust out thousands of words in a sitting and if I am not doing that I am thinking and over thinking about when im gonna fugue out again. I also get really stressed when it actually comes time to write a sex scene? Weird, I know. But every single one is super important to me and I want to make sure they read well. My friends can attest that I am an absolute basket case when it comes to me writing Steve and Eddie getting down and dirty.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

God when I’m done. I am NOT great at posting chaptered fics but I am trying to get better with it? I prefer writing larger pieces though. I am an over-thinker to a fault and for some reason I stress less with one-shots.

Which fic are you most proud of?

It’s gotta be Kiss Your Knuckles. That fic is everything to me. But my Boys Who Kiss series is also so fucking important to me. Those two have so much more to tell y’all and I can’t wait to share their lives with you. I’m a musician so any of my fics that are heavily laced with performance and song are very special.

How did you get the idea for Kiss Your Knuckles (Before You Punch Me In The Face)?

I remember listening to Twin Size Mattress one day and I was like—Holy Shit, this is so Steddie-Coded it hurts. And it’s post-canon AND Rockstar Eddie? Incredible. The words just screamed Eddie Behavior and I knew Steve had to write a one-hit wonder about how he felt.

When writing Kiss Your Knuckles (Before You Punch Me In The Face), what was something you didn’t expect?

Oh I sobbed when I finished it. I couldn’t believe that I had actually finished it. It truly means the world to me and I wanted to share it with you all so badly. I cried for like an hour.

What inspired It Feels Like Fourteen Carats But No Clarity (When I Look At The Man Who Would Be King)?

Honestly? Tumblr user @ghosttotheparty had made a post about the scenario that Fourteen Carats is about and I messaged them and was like hey listen I want to take a shot at this, if that’s okay. Fourteen Carats is the first fully formed fic that I have ever posted aside from tumblr Drabbles and while I personally don’t love it I keep it up just in case someone somewhere does. 😂

What was your favorite part to write from All You Have Is Your Fire?

OH. Absolutely just eluding to Tattoo Legend and Icon, Jim Hopper. God he so fucking hot neat.

How do/did you feel writing Tell Eddie He Looks Sexy With His Hair Pushed Back?

I felt some type of a way, clearly. I think this is my favorite Eddie that I have ever written (My favorite Steve is Kiss Your Knuckles Steve) and he just kept getting more and more interesting. Like who the hell fucks you and speaks French while they do it? Tell Eddie Eddie does. And thank god for that guy.

What was the most difficult part of writing Hellbent For Leather?

Writing sub/bottom Eddie! I did this fic as a gift for tumblr user @gorgeousgreymatter-x (love you bitch) and it was hard because I don’t often write that dynamic, but god damn I loved these two Steddies.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

Ah— “It is, and I do.” Something about French chef Eddie, really—yeah. I am proud of everything I have written but if I can be honest with you I rarely remember what I have done. I often joke that it’s simply Steve and Eddie in my brain just writing what they want, because people will quote my work or talk to me about a scene and I’m like—‘I wrote that?? Nice.’

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

WELL. Once I can break myself out of this accidental hiatus I am so excited to share more of For Your Entertainment with yall. I am also so fucking excited to share King Of Hell Eddie with the world. I can’t fucking wait. I am working on a ‘Came Back Wrong’ fic that is less scary and more comedic and I am stoked for that. I have quite a few things that are happening and I am just so fucking excited to share them all with you. 

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

Just thank you. Thank you for reading and thanks for letting me be a part of all of this. I have not felt this inspired and loved in a long fucking time and I’m not going anywhere so I hope yall will stick around for the wild ride. Fucking love you.

Thank you to our author, Wormdebut, and our nominator, @thefreakandthehair! See more of Wormdebut's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[jqmalikhsgib]

blue skies

chapter:one

note: holy shit this probably won’t be as good as the original i wrote! i cannot believe tumblr fucked me! starting over. haley and aaron relationship is far more toxic in this fic. (not haley’s fault because she’s a saint!) aaron is a bit of a dick in the past (you’ll see why once i re—fucking—write the story thanks to tumblr you bitch 😩) haley and aaron separate around season two and divorce in the beginning of season three. this chapter focuses on 5x10. so yes, it will be haley’s funeral in the beginning so trigger warning for sadness!! foyet will be mentioned. 5x9 will be kinda mentioned as well so again, sadness! hopefully tumblr won’t delete this as well or i swear ill cry 😢

aaron is 43

reader is 33

also: i do not own any of the criminal minds dialogue (obviously) i will be using a few for this story! credit to the criminal minds writers!

you groan as your alarm goes off. you knew you needed to wake before your three year old daughter comes barging into your room and whining. you simply shut your alarm off before slowly lifting your body.

after finishing up your morning routine you head to the kitchen to make breakfast for your princess. you suddenly hear tiny little feet coming towards you. when you look down there was you daughter. she had the biggest brown eyes. her signature scowl on her face. one you knew she inherited from her father.

you smile before turning the stove off and lifting her. she rest her head on your shoulders. her sippy cup clutched to her hand.

“how’d you sleep, baby?”

“good, mamma! what’s for beakfast?” she still had a bit of a hard time pronouncing her ‘r’s.’

“just some eggs. you hungry, bug?” she nods her head simply. you smile before setting her down in her high chair and setting a small plate of eggs in front of her. she grabs her fork with her tiny hand and stuffs her mouth. you smile as you sit right beside her, coffee cup in your hand.

you turn on the news to see if it’s perfect weather for a park day. you knew how much lizzy loved park days on your day off.

your eyes widened when you see a photo of aaron on the screen. you turn the volume up and listen.

“…ley hotchner, wife of fbi agent aaron hotchner was murdered three night ago in their home by the boston reaper, george foyet…” your heart broke for aaron.

despite how much he broke your heart three year ago you still loved him. your best friend didn’t understand why. aaron had ended things with you the night you found out you were pregnant and blocked your number.

he told you he couldn’t love you. you were meant to be a distraction from his life. you lived thousands of miles away from him and he had a family. he told you that he could never be with you because haley will always mean more. that broke you into pieces. after almost two years of sex, cuddles, date night, jewelry you never asked for, and silent ‘i love yous.’ you were never gonna be her. you never blamed haley. you’re almost certain she didn’t know about you.

but when aaron and haley had been separated for awhile, aaron visit your small town in texas for a case, and many many tequila shots once said case was solved, you’d been wrapped in aaron’s arms.

at first you just wanted fun and casual. he was ten years older than you, tall, sexy, and fun. you didn’t expect to fall in love with the fbi agent.

but over time he visited more, he took you to the fanciest places he could find in your small town, sometimes you didn’t even have sex. you just talked and fell asleep in each others arms.

neither of you really knowing what this was. you didn’t wanna bring it up in case it was in your head. but you needed to know when you found out you were pregnant. you asked him what you were and if this was going somewhere.

aaron simply shook his head that night. he stepped back from you and broke your heart, “you and i were nothing more than fun. tell me you understand that yn? tell me you aren’t falling in love? because i cannot love you when i have a family of my own. a wife and a son!”

you had yelled at him stating she’s divorced him. she was no longer his wife. he had to move on. it had been almost a year since the divorce. but he simply shook his head, told you never to call again, and left.

you took his advice for a while. not contacting him for your whole pregnancy. but when you finally brought elizabeth to the world, you thought he should know about her. when you tried calling you’d realized he blocked your number.

your best friend hated aaron since that moment. she’d been the only family you had helped you raise the sweet little girl!

despite your best friends wishes you still gave her his last name.

“mamma?”

you break out of your trance and look over at your daughter.

“we going to the pawk today?”

you look back up at the weather channel and hum softly. “absolutely, bug!”

aaron clears he throat. he looks around to see his team and all of his and haley’s friends and family. he wasn’t sure he was able to do this.

he looks over and sees his ex father-in-law glaring at him. he didn’t blame him. haley’s death was his fault.

aaron opens up the folded piece of paper before he looks down and begins reading,

“w. s. gilbert wrote ‘it’s love that makes the world go round.’ and if that’s true, then the world spun a little faster with haley in it. haley was my best friend since we were in high school. we certainly had our struggles but if there’s one thing we agreed on unconditionally, it was our love and commitment to jack.” aaron continues his speak as everyone watched him.

you can see the grief of the man’s face. he was trying to hold it in for his son. as he finished the speech everyone tries to do their best to comfort him how they can. haley’s father and sister rest a single rose on her casket. aaron and jack were the last ones to do so. jack blows a kiss to his mom one final time before aaron walks away from his wife with his son in arms.

after the funeral everyone was gathered around. people were chatting and giving their condolences to aaron. he simply nods his head thanking everyone who passed by.

david walks over to aaron with two glasses. “i think you could use some air. i saw him with his cousins.”

aaron looks at his son before turning to his ex sister-in-law.

“could you make sure jack gets something to eat?”

jess simply nods as aaron follows behind dave. dave and aaron pass the team.

“you know i broke my promise to haley.”

“what promise?”

“i told her i would catch foyet and that i’d spend the rest of my life making it up to her.”

“you still can. you saved jack.”

aaron sighs before looking over at his son. he sees jess hand him a sandwich.

“you know, i may have the tools to do this job, but i don’t know if i have the tools to help my son.”

“you have to ask yourself, what kind of father you want to be. and when you figure that out. then you’ll know what to do.”

aaron hums. he looks down and plays with the end of his fingertips.

“i meant what i said today. things have changed. and i need to do what’s best for jack.”

dave nods softly. “you will.”

after spending an hour at the park you pick your daughter up gently. she was already exhausted. you smiled as she rest her head on your shoulders.

“mamma?”

“yes, baby?” you set her in her car seat.

“may we have ice cweam today?” she gives you these innocent bug eyes. it’s why you gave her the nickname ‘bug.’ she was too adorable for her own good!

“hmm, maybe! depends if you eat all your veggies tonight.” you shut the back door before getting in the drivers seat.

“i will. pwomise, mamma!” she smiles at you

you smile right back. your heart warming every time you see it. when you arrived home you spot your best friend, and roommate, shoes by the front door.

you were glad she’s home. she’d been on a business trip. gone for a week. you’d miss her.

you knew lizzy missed her as well. she’d ask almost every hour when her auntie jane was coming home.

“jane?!” you call out your best friends name. your daughter gasped. jane soon makes an appearance and smiles widely at you and lizzy.

“is that my favorite lizard?!” jane scoops your daughter up.

“janey!”

“lizzy!”

“miss you so much!” she gave jane a sloppy kiss on the cheek. jane return the favor.

“i miss you too, lizard! thought about you everyday, bug!”

your daughter giggles before jane sets her down.

“mamas gonna get dinner started, baby. why don’t you go and play a little?”

“kay, mamma.” she runs to her room. jane fills you in on the details of her trip. you both worked for a big tech company. you hated your jobs! but it was the best paying job you found. most of it was just sucking up to your bosses. they were the average sleaze bags who sexually harassed you even though they had wife and kids at home. you’d simply ignore it. you were great at your job.

you had plenty of ideas that were obviously stolen from you by your boss and told at conference rooms where the ceos would listen. since you were just an assistant it wasn’t much you could do.

“he made you share a room with him?!”

“yes! ive never been so quick to head to the creepy motel across the street! id rather rats and roaches crawl all over me than james.” she makes a face.

you laugh.

“he needs to be fired. who does something like that?” you shake your head as you finished up dinner.

“i know! we’re both smarter and more capable than james and martin! fire them and give us the high paying jobs!” jane grabs two plates for you and a smaller plate for her god-daughter.”

you hum in agreement. you fill your daughters plate up first.

“ill grab her.”

you wash your hands as jane washes both hers and elizabeths hands. you set your daughter down in her high chair before sitting in between her and jane.

the three of you enjoy your dinner. once finished you grab three small bowls and add ice cream to them.

“since you were such a big girl bug, you get ice cream!”

your daughter does a small little dance in her high chair. you coo at her cuteness. she truly was the light of your life.

once you were done with your ice cream you got ready for bed. when you finished bathing your daughter you lie her in her bed and read her a bedtime story.

“goodnight, bug.”

“night, mamma.” she falls asleep soon after. you take your own shower right after.

when you’re done you hear your phone ring. you frown at the unknown caller id. you decide to ignore it. resting your body on your bed. your phone begins to ring once more.

another unknown caller. you sigh before answering.

“yn?”

you knew that voice. you’d recognized it from anywhere.

“aaron?”

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

Charlie's corruption arc ✨😈

aka Broken Crown AU inspired by this post because I’ve been thinking about it intensively. So, I believe Charlie's villain arc would start with a great feeling of relief. Imagine: it's been a week since the final battle; it's been a week when Charlie hasn't been able to sleep at night. Others think she's still grieving, but the truth is different. Every night, Charlie cannot fall asleep because she's trying to cope with the relief she felt the second Adam died. She was the one who at first stopped Lucifer from finishing him, just because killing Adam didn't seem right. But when Niffty actually did it, despite everything, it felt right. It felt good.

After weeks (months?) of looking for a way to stop Adam from committing genocide against her people, after being bullied and humiliated by him, after witnessing how an unjust system enabled his despicable actions while ruthlessly punishing others for far lesser crimes, she finally, for the first time, felt like she had any agency. Just like that, her loved ones were finally safe. They could all breathe again, and all it took was a small act of violence against the person who fully deserved it. This realization changes her. While she doesn't intend to do such things in the future, she can no longer deny that exercising brutal power can be the best solution when dealing with certain kinds of people. This is the very first thing she hides from Vaggie. Not because she's scared of her judgment but because these ideas are so against her own moral values it is simply scary to put them into words.

Maybe I would be capable of killing someone in cold blood. Maybe I'll have to do it one day.

But Adam's dead, so they are safe, right? And she won't ever have to make a choice like that again. That's some reassurance.

And then, Niffty is killed by Lute. Just like that—Lute teleports to Hell by night and slaughters her in revenge because why wouldn't she? Who would have stopped her?

It obviously hits everyone hard—they just lost another friend. But Alastor? Alastor loses his fucking mind. He goes completely feral, yelling at Charlie and blaming her for everything.

What kind of incompetent fool shows their enemy mercy and lets them live long enough to get vengeance? I cannot believe I thought you could be a competent leader. You are just a fucking child. You are all a bunch of idiots.

Charlie goes through a complete meltdown because she knows he's right. If she had the guts to finish Lute or at least asked Vaggie or Lucifer to do so, Niffty would be alive. She's crying, choking on tears; she feels like a hopeless failure, but Alastor does not give her a break. He seems so infuriated she thinks he would kill her. Fortunately, Lucifer and Vaggie intervene. Lucifer puts Alastor back in his place by essentially beating the shit out of him. Vaggie takes Charlie out to calm her down. She insists that if it's anyone's fault, it's hers because she was the one who spared Lute, but Charlie knows that it's a lie. Vaggie would have killed Lute if not for Charlie's convictions. She fails, and she fails all over again, and it seems like she can't escape the evil. It's her responsibility to face it on equal terms. Otherwise, she won't be able to protect her loved ones.

After this incident, both Lucifer and Vaggie insist on kicking Alastor out of the hotel. He's too dangerous, too unpredictable. We can't allow him to treat you like this. We don't even need him anymore; there's nothing an Overlord can do that the King of Hell can't.

But that's not the truth. There's something Alastor can do that Lucifer can't: play the game. And now, grieving another of her friends, Charlie realizes she needs a teacher if she wants to stop pieces.

I have like 0 time to write the proper fic but I had to get these out of my system because holy shit I love coming up with elaborate plots I'm not able to execute. Maybe talking about it will somehow scratch the itch.

Also tagging @purrpleowl because she expresses her interest in this idea.

[plantwriting]

Okay finished relistening to episode 1 (will listen to episode 2 and maybe more tomorrow but its like 10 pm and i have school tomorrow) of bitb and heres just like small collection of things that stuck to my mind!

Rolan does in fact canonically have a car i forgot about that so sorry rolan in my fic you got to live but lost your ability to drive such is life

Kian’s first act being just drinking something…. Like he wakes up and immediately gets alcohol… grizzly honestly just does such an incredibly amazing job making kian seem so like depressing but hiding it so well behind making everything seem like just some funny rockstar stuff its amazing

Also! The super tired ��hey’ before he remembers and switches to ‘i mean whats up dude’??? Like could that have been a genuine mistake by grizz, sure, but i highly fucking doubt that. Like grizzly is so incredible at voice acting i refuse to believe that wasnt intentional

Rand. Just. How fucking mad he is at rolan. Its just painful. And how clearly done with it rolan is like you know this is an argument theyve had like hundreds of times before

So so so many details about kian that are so fucking fun to think about, specifically when he describes the look officer dudes gave him? Like (cant remember the exact quote but you get it) ‘ive seen some bad people in hollywood, people who just smile at you a certain way and you know you wouldnt want to meet them at night because they want to kill you’???? I am using that against him so hard holy shit

They just. Know nothing about how time works. They keep saying that its been a decade (it hasnt its been 15 years) and barc is supposedly old enough to have met them but no he is absolutely not and also charlie described barc as a golden retriever but then who the fuck is the black dog in rands official art just. Wow theyre so inconsistent about everything.

Theres definitely a few details about kian that i had forgotten about (like him just saying he has plenty more cars at home and whatever) but the pros of that is. I dont even need to decide to just ignore canon because i can just fucking believe that hes lying! Like its kian we cant trust his word on anything and thats great for me because i dont need to worry about messing up the canon!

Trying to just keep track of their stats and such but its. Its so hard. Because most of the time they just say ‘thats a success/hard success/failure/etc’ and not even what they actually rolled and then when they say what they rolled they still usually dont say what the number they had to beat was so just like.

Kian has 30 strength and 75 in guitar and 11 hp and that is all i can actually remember

Rand has 45 strength and 30 sanity (for like the first half hour) and ive already forgotten everything else

And rolan. Im going to be real i remember nothing already. I think he has 8 speed? But that was in the solo ep so i cant be sure. Also either him or rand had 14 hp i have already forgotten which one

Rat’s death is so hard to think about but its also very hard for me because im just thinking of kian going through the same fucking thing. Like hes aware of it and hes in pain and he just hears a buzzing and. Augh. (And kian probably died alone. God knows becky wasnt comforting him through that)

…..kian going fucking four times over the speed limit getting to galloway but then specifically not speeding with the others until theyre trying to leave after seeing rats whole thing? You cannot convince me that thats not like him being passively suicidal and just not caring about his own safety unless other peoples lives depend on it as well

Also, quick pat on the back for myself, i feel like i did very well with especially rand and rolan’s dynamic. Like just the intense care and love they have for each other but its been overshadowed by years spent apart and basically the second theyre left alone they immediately get into an argument and instantly start going right for all the things that hurt the most? Jesus they need therapy

Also kian (yes of course im focusing on him again thats my guy) just cares for them so much?? Like him immediately going after rolan and trying to help him without even knowing whats going on, also as fucking stupid as it is grizzlys plan being literally ‘im going to flirt with donna so john walks in on us and chases me with a shotgun to give a distraction for rand’ its like. So ridiculous. Yet somehow also very caring that this idiot is really willing to risk getting shot at to help rand out a bit

[waywardsou2]

I just finished The Bad Batch. Season 3 Episode 15. The finale. Man that was a wild ride. And it was amazing, seeing Wreaker work though all of that pain he was in, seeing Hunter get yeeted by scrap metal, seeing Crosshair's FUCKING CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. All of them working so hard, Echo working with all the clones to fight for his brothers and sister. Emery deciding that she was going to try and do better and work with her brothers and sister. AAA.

WE SAW A SNIP IT OF TECH. Im sad we didn't get to see him for real but it was good enough, I knew as soon as Hemlock takes about project necromancer I suddenly knew where Tech was!

Older Omega and Hunter at the very end

CROSSHAIR AND HUNTER EXHAUSTED AND SO FUCKING SHAKY GOING AFTER AND FINALLY FUCKING SHOOTING HEMLOCK. THAT BITCH.

Seeing Wrecker break out of the confinement was some of the coolest shit I've ever seen. I was hocked watching the progression oml.

OMEGA BREAKING THE ZILO BEAST OUT. O H M Y F U C K I N G G O D S some badassery right there. I love her so much.

I'm so glad the kids got out too, I was so attached to them. holy heck I'm so glad they are ok.

DUDE THIS WAS MAD AND I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT

I cannot believe when it first came out I watched about 4 episodes and got bored. I come back to it a year or so later and BINGE THE WHOLE THING AND IM SO GLAD I DID.

I love The Bad Batch so much. I'm so happy for them that they got to have a family in the end, even if Echo was still out there and Tech wasn't with them. They got to be a family. I would do anything to be a part of that squad.

I would sell my organs just to get a hug from each of them. You have no idea. How much they mean to me.

I've never been that big on Star Wars, the premise was amazing to me but I just could get into it. BUT DAVE FILONI HAS RESTORED MY FAITH. His work has got to be my favourite out of the entire franchise.

I need to draw so much art of these guys soon and probably some one shots or head canons. I'll definitely be hoping for requests on my writing blog so if you wanna request something go for it.

Oh my god, this was a huge ramble but it needed to happen. I am so happy right now. The amount of stimming and how much I bit myself while watching that was insane and the dopamine is rushing through my veins right now.

[fandomrecycling]

Well. I lost my blog chain but guess who just finished Stampedeeeeeeee

Okokokok um god okay so okay okay

- MILLIE REFERENCE OH THANK GOD good we need her to be the sunshine for the next season bc oh my god Vash

- sPeaking OF OH GOD VASH/ERIKS BESTIE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

- related but holy shit his fucking wings. I - holy shit his wing. It’s so perfect his and Nai’s duality. His white hair and suit and his lacking of hope, his design being an outright statement of a rejection of humanity. White as an absence of life. Whereas Vash’s messy wing, outfit and maternal shaped titan are all black. Black is the summation of every colour, every pain, every loss, every love, of everything that is Vash. Black as an abundance of life. And there is no touch of either colour in either of them. No black, no white, no balance.

- a L S O NAI??!?? UMM NO???? NO YOU DONT GET TO DIE STARING INTO YOUR BROTHERS EYES

- Meryl god you’re so perfect never change your perfect pls lemme give you a kiss you deserve it

- WOLFWOOD where the FUCKare you your husband needs you get your stupid ass back there and give tongari a hug

- “Half a century and you couldn’t come up with a better excuse.” I. I don’t - I want to cry I want to scream I want to hate you so fucking much because all of Vash’s suffering is because of you.

- I want to hate you so much Nai. But I can’t. I can’t hate you. You love your brother and Vash still loves you and all I can say is that I am so, so fucking sorry your happiness was ruined. I’m so sorry you became so scared of humanity that your only solution was to destroy it. I’m sorry Nai. You did so many awful things and because of your brother all I can see is the tragedy. All I can see is two brothers who love each other so much it destroys the world.

- okokokok that end scene though;

I’ll assume that this has something to do with Maximum which - despite it being awful for my health - I will attempt to read as much of it as I can before I am reduced into a blubbering mess of emotions and feathers. But also - and I cannot believe I am saying this - but god I hope Nai isn’t dead only so that I can hope for a better ending for these doomed twins.

I’m not gonna be okay for a while I already have a fix it fanfic planned

[pretentious-librarian]

ACOTAR Review

Unfortunately, I was not able to evade that cursed woman for as long as I had hoped. She got me, exploiting my greatest weakness in the way her own characters are exploited by that very same weakness throughout the book: fucking love. My best friend, the love of my life, has fallen victim to Sarah J. Maas and in her obsession she has forcibly dragged me down with her. Now that I think about it, my best friend is quite literally the only thing that could ever make me pick up a SJM book. So in the name of love, I subjected myself to booktok's finest (which isn't saying much given booktok's reputation) and here are my thoughts, namely the ones I couldn't bring myself to voice to my friend. After all, the whole point of even reading this in the first place was so that she could have someone to talk about it with. While I am not above pointing out it's flaws to her, I don't have it in me to spite the very thing she gets so much joy out of as deeply as I would've wanted to. Besides, who am I to talk as a Twilight enjoyer when I know damn well that series was a beloved dumpster fire just as much as ACOTAR is. And honestly, her love for the series and my love for her has dissolved some of my bias and frankly, distaste, for the book. And now on to the review.

Disclaimers: Spoilers, ADHD ramblings and tangents, ungodly amounts of pretentiousness from someone who doesn't usually enjoy fantasy, and yes I know this book functions as a prequel and the second book is way better (I started the second book last night, wish me luck)

ACOTAR felt juvenile in nearly every aspect. To be fair, I had just finished reading Mary Shelley's Frankenstien mere days before picking up ACOTAR so I had to remind myself to go into it with a level of graciousness. Yet all the graciousness in the world cannot override the horrific editing of that damn book. Attempting to fall in love with a whole new world and characters was incredibly difficult when the writer in me was literally dying inside. To be completely honest, I always evaluate the writing of any book I read, especially in the beginning. I'm not even going to discuss how the majority of the book drug its feet or worse, was filled with inescapable, constant monologuing. I could rant and rave about "show don't tell" for hours, which is why I am choosing not to spend more than two sentences talking about the god awful fucking monologuing (to be fair, I'm aware that slow starts and monologuing are often necessary in fantasy books but definitely not to this extent). But holy shit, there were way too many instances in which I was flung from my daydreams and smacked square in the face by the sheer... fanfiction-ness of her writing. Don't get me wrong, I ADORE fanfiction and I am a huge advocate for its existence and protection, especially as a purely anti-capitalist labor of love without a single care about the skill level at which it was written. But when I pick up a viral #1 New York Times Best Selling Author's book, the last thing I am expecting to see is such elementary writing--that I firmly believe could've been rectified if she had hired an editor that was even half decent at their job. My qualifications for making such a claim? Even I have edited a full-length fantasy novel and unfortunately, it took many harsh reminders from my best friend to at least attempt to focus on the story rather than obsess over all the changes I would've personally made before I considered the book decent enough for publishing.

THAT SAID: One of the reasons I always gravitate towards fanfiction when I'm in a reading slump is because it's just so... digestible. ACOTAR was also digestable in a very similar way, which is sort of what made it possible for me to finish it in about four days. Honestly, (aside from my autistic ass struggling to connect with a brand new fantasy world and characters I feel fundamentally estranged from) the fanfiction-ness of the writing made me feel the same as when I'm watching reality TV: aware of the quality but choosing to have a good time with it anyways. Because my friend loved this book so much, I desperately wanted it to be good. But once I accepted that the writing was mid, as well as a good bit of the plot and the characters, I was able to enjoy myself enough to lose myself in the story, no matter how much the pretentious bitch inside kept trying to claw her way to the forefront of my thoughts. It was almost freeing to subject myself to such a juvenile piece of literature. Speaking of, there is one aspect of it's juvenility that I will not explore, but rather, let Robert Pattinson's reaction to reading the Twilight books to voice the principle of those thoughts instead:

"I was convinced Stephanie was convinced she was Bella, and it was like it was a book that wasn't supposed to be published. You're like, reading her sort of, like, sexual fantasy about some...really sexy guy and she just writes this book about it. And like, some things about Edward is [are] so specific, it was like I was just convinced that...this woman is mad! She's completely mad, and she's in love with her own fictional creation. And like, sometimes you...feel, like, uncomfortable reading this thing! And I think a lot of people feel that is...in the same way kind of voyeuristic and and it creates this...kind of like, a sick pleasure in a lot of ways".

Although this sentiment about ACOTAR may not be exceptionally widespread, personally, as a far-left rad-fem socialist who has spent years learning to decenter men, some of what Rob said resonated with me. Despite that this type of book is not particularly appealing to me personally, that doesn't mean it's inherently bad quality (but can easily bar it from being good quality), and this aspect definitely would've connected to my younger self before I became a chronically online femen@zi.

Moving on. The pretentious bitch inside me couldn't help but quietly take note of what was executed nicely and what was not, even as I was doing my best to go with the flow. I might as well go ahead and discuss what else I liked about it before I'm written off completely. I adored the imagery and sensory details--it's truly what made the experience good enough to keep reading. Her descriptions really draw the reader in and make them feel like they're right there with characters, in the good times and the bad ones too. I definitely don't have aphantasia and am a chronic day dreamer so I absolutely love descriptive books. Colors, sensations, emotions, all of it. I loved and hated the way I felt genuine emotions in all kinds of scenes (hated not because I'm a bitter hater, but hated because I can't help but feel everything any character I'm reading about is feeling--good, bad, or otherwise. And boy did Feyre go through some shit). Typically, books that can make me feel deeply are the best books but in this case, it acted more as a saving grace, especially because most of those feelings that were present in this book, though intense, lacked a certain type of depth I tend to gravitate towards.

Another thing I liked was Lucien! Lucien is by far my favorite character, not because he's particularly extraordinary, but because he feels...real? rather than being another one of SJM's romantic projections. (Sorry the writing style changed half way through, I was lowkey writing like SJM because I thought it was funny but I got tired of that real quick.) In the same vein, every now and then Feyre would get real as fuck, which was greatly appriciated when reading about such intense situations. Nightmares feel like a cheap excuse to avoid having to deal with your MC being traumatized because it's not uncommon for nightmares to be one of the only aspects of trauma focused by YA/new adult writers as well as a trojan horse a romantic scene. ACOTAR felt more believable (or maybe the word is genuine?) because Feyre dealt with real consequences from her trauma such as DSM-5 accurate depression, chronic low self esteem, mistrust, trauma bonding, etc. Lastly, I can't tell if I loved or hated the way SJM tied up all the loose ends (excluding some intentional cliffhangers). On one hand, it was satisfying as a reader to not have found any glaring plot holes yet I can't shake the feeling that she was making it up as she went. Source: trust me bro

As for Feyre's flaws, I feel that other readers have already explored in those depth and I don't feel the need to keep beating a dead horse. Same goes for Tamlin--I didn't find him all that interesting or charming even when Feyre was falling for him, so my already subpar opinion of him got worse and worse and will likely continue to do so as I continue reading the second book. He is so incredibly immature I can hardly stand it. Don't even get me started on how he always wants to fuck and thinks that suffices as an expression of love and care for Feyre. Even if that's technically not how it is, that is definitely how it read. To be clear, I'm pretty sure readers aren't meant to adore Tamlin; my issue is that Feyre goes through hell for someone so mid and we as readers are supposed to think her love and devotion are justified.

Now, let's get back to some hardcore griping! Amarantha's villain origin story makes sense until you actually meet her. Interacting with her felt like interacting with a cartoon villain from a shitty kids show. She was terrifyingly sadistic yet the justification for it was too weak to uphold her sadism. She felt like evil personified rather than a fleshed out person suffering the human condition (I know she's not human but you know what I mean). Good villains don't have to be redeemable, but they do have to be somewhat believable. These fae are all centuries old and have been through so much but somehow lack the emotional maturity I gained at the ripe age of seventeen?! I too have been a woman scorned enough to do make some interesting choices but jesus christ, Amarantha, it's really not that deep. Maybe it's the trauma that makes them like that, because I certainly have not endured what they have, nor have I ever held the amount of power they wield and I will never be able to fully comprehend what that does to a person. So who am I to talk. Anyways, I could ramble endlessly about Amarantha's shortcomings as a character but I think I've touched on her most glaring offenses.

Ugh. Now I'm gonna acknowledge that damn riddle and Tamlin's heart of stone concept that was executed so, so...let's just say, uniquely. When I read Amarantha's riddle, I came up with an answer so quickly that I was certain was it was incorrect. My personal belief system is centered around love (obviously not just the romantic kind) so I thought maybe I was biased since I try to see love in everything, not to mention the answer I had come up with seemed way too on the nose, given Feyre's circumstances and how much of the plot was driven by romance/love/attachment. But to my surprise and simultaneous disappointment, the answer to the riddle was love. I feel like even Feyre should've got that because of her Amarantha-enforced circumstances. And as for Tamlin's heart of stone--that Feyre figured out surprisingly easily even though she couldn't figure out that obvious riddle--it certainly wasn't something I was predicting, and the concept of it felt a little...elementary? Not because it was predictable or anything, but because of how squarely SJM looked that heart of stone metaphor in the face and decided to... well... do that....

I'm just glad she made Feyre grapple with her decision to kill the two innocents and let it haunt her afterwards, especially when her motives are called into question. She loves Tamlin (somehow. but maybe I'm just a manhater) which is what drives her to do what she does and what puts her in direct conflict with Amarantha but I'm just glad SJM bothered to create circumstances that let Feyre's selfishness (I'm not saying I would or wouldn't have done the same thing in her circumstance) also happen to benefit the entire kingdom-world thing. Basically I feel fundamentally estranged from Feyre because I see the value of all people and would like to think I'd do the right thing based on love and respect for all living things rather than for a whiny man child. I feel like I'm getting sidetracked somehow.

TW: SA

I'm hesitant to even talk about Rhysand because I'm not sure I fully understand him as a character yet. However, I love him as a character so far even if I don't love him/his personality that much. He felt developed in ways other characters didn't, similar to Lucien but I actually liked Lucien's personality from the start, even when he pisses me off sometimes. But on the topic of Rhysand, I was uncomfortable with how SJM wrote about SA in general. As a woman, I'm certainly not unfamiliar with the topic and have had my own share of experiences, although I will honestly admit that I haven't had any big T trauma in that area of my own life so this may not be my place to discuss this. That may also be why I can't quite put my finger on what about the way SJM wrote about SA bothered me. All I know is that something about it rubbed me the wrong way, almost as if it bordered on disrespect. But again, I'm not entirely sure.

In conclusion, my best friend just texted me not five seconds ago: "I think you just have a hard time comprehending that people write fun little fantasy stories simply because maybe they just like writing fun little fantasy stories". And she would be correct. I am too pretentious to truly love and appreciate this series the way it was meant to be. I've always felt the need to look deeper in anything that I enjoy, I've always felt the need to connect personally with each work of art I choose to dedicate my time to. I am first and foremost a Supernatural fan if that tells you anything, and even my love for Twilight grew from a specific, deep personal connection I had the concept and characters. I have just driven myself mad trying to figure out why this book was written, why I as a reader should care, and what exactly fueled SJM with so much passion that she felt the need to write an entire series (which is why I'm suspecting she wrote it as a self indulgent piece; that's the only logical explanation I can come up with, anyway). ACOTAR was not written for me and that is okay. It doesn't help that I tend to avoid fantasy as a genre anyways. Yet, I'm going to keep reading it. Because I still managed to have a good time with the story and characters, and of course, I'm going to thug it out no matter what because I love my best friend. Lastly, one thing SJM did a good job with was, in spite of it all, making me curious enough about what happens next to genuinely want to read the next book.

edit: it’s been a few days and ive gotten further into the second book. sjm really got her act together, that’s for sure. im beginning to understand why people obsess over this series. it’s a shame the first book is such a dumpster fire but im glad the story is redeemed in the rest of series (fingers crossed); the characters and world building had so much potential and im extremely happy to see sjm giving them the writing they deserve in the second book. with this new perspective i also realized that acotar was so genuinely awful that it literally made it impossible for me wrap my head around why she wrote it. thank god she get her shit together so that i can finally see the beauty of the series

[marlee-goat]

What's your favorite game you played this year?

oohooohooh ok so this is sort of a toughie. favorite games this year consisted of all really fucking good games but if I had to rate them based on how I enjoyed them it would definitely go

mario wonder

pizza tower

antonblast

vividlope

(...i know antonblast isn't technically out yet, but hush)

in general mario wonder was a fucking GREAT experience. got it day 1. streamed it to like 3 people. played on my own for the rest of that day. proceeded to beat it the next. then I 100%ed it within the next two days (minus the standees because I did stupid shit and totally forgot to spend my flower coins on them so I missed all the bonuses that would have made that easier) but all in all holy shit I love that game. the online is so fun and im still trying to figure out if I can take up lexis offer on racing it heuheuheu...

pizza tower is also a Really Fucking Good Game god. I waited 5 years and I was not disappointed. this [cheesy pizza pun redacted]. i recently p-ranked the final boss to finish my 100% savefile and it's so fun to replay tbh. not to mention the modding scene god it's big and the amount of shit people are doing with this game is insane. and they're still adding new official content to the game too!!! it's crazy !! cannot fucking wait for the noise update...

ANTON BLAST 💥💥💥 was pretty fuckin good. i love the ctr boost mechanic. not to mention the voice clips and music and sound design and the animations and everything else about the game is just mwah. very pretty. it's just two levels right now and I'm having a [antonblast pun redacted]. people kept saying pizza tower is a wariolike but I beg to differ, frankly. pt is much more similar to like. sonic. i believe antonblast is the true wariolike here. can't wait to play it when it comes out ^^

vividlope was a pleasant surprise! one of my friends introduced it to me while they were srteaming it in a vc and god it's fun. best way I can explain it is like. Autistic Q*Bert. lil painter rabbit girl walking simulator.. 3 dimensional.. and they added a level editor a little bit back too so now you can make funny levels and things like this!!

although this game is fucking infuriating at times. jaklub you are a monster

also not really on the list because it's not a new game but one I've really been playing more. god i love tf2 and I will always love tf2. I've been getting back in the swing of making content for it and dear lord it's so fun. one of my main recommendations any day. might be tough to get into but I urge anyone who can to play it...

thanks for the ask sky!! ive been waiting for it ...

[everybodyloveshippos]

finished lolth's warrior!!!!

holy shit bro (thoughts under the cut)

KIMMURIEL FUCKING EXPLODING?????? im literally . holy shit holy shit dudeee that whole scene was insane. jarlaxle was so beside himself. and then just. begging kimmuriel to find another body. dude. (ruka i cannot imagine what emotions you were feeling at this time my condolences)

okay so i know kimmuriel isnt Gone Gone but that little séance was so bittersweet like 'oh you miss me' jfhshjg alexa play ghosting by mother mother

okay other than that;

i liked the ending to the war, i was worried it would be rushed but it actually made sense, a mass exodus makes more sense than being able to reform the whole city first try.

malagdorl i need you dead! i need you dead! justice for voselly.....

gromph flop baenre needed a staff of the magi to explode a stalactite when 19-20 year old catti brie did it without magic. unoriginal! hes so obsessed w her!!!!! okay just kidding i actually loved that whole bit. the second they focused more on the staff i was like oh wait oh wait i know what hes about to do lets goooooo

alsoooo did anyone else think that 'ethan sindalay' was a typo/autocorrect of Effron?? bcus thats the only thing that makes sense.......ethan sindalay the necromancer is Not A Guy i was like who tf is ethan?? you mean effron??

dinin getting the cold shoulder from drizzt is so funny i know it does make sense and drizzt does care but oh my god. something about his standoffishness made me laugh bcus both him and zak wouldve been so welcoming to vierna and you know it kfjksdzhsfjgj. i like it. i hope there's more books for them to develop a relationship.

things i found funny that i remember:

yvonnel asking if drizzt and catti want a third

artemis 'this is greasepaint from a theatre performer and a prostitutes wig' for his disguise and then not elaborating. king you are theeee funniest man alive never change also do u think in another life hes a theatre kid. did he have those on hand. i love him

saribel and ravel going off into a side room to debrief after every family meeting and being like 'our mom is NOT making good choices here' i genuinely love these two im so happy theyre in cahoots. last xorlarrin siblings standing (well, last of the core group we met).

i hope there is more books after this! the unfinished plot threads to continue we got were good like

-dahlia missing (refusing to believe shes dead bcus you cannot kill a bad bitch) girl i miss uuuuu

-yvonnel missing

-dinin is on secret lolth sanctioned toddler murder mission. my hope for this is he is allowed to babysit and becomes to enamoured of his niece to do anything except be her uncle <3

ANYWAYS

the last pages made me cry happy tears w everyone playing in the snow and also burst into tears when i finished it

excited for the webcomic but theres a few things i rlly wanna see in the near future not the 12-ish year gap to that

[theodoraflowerday]

young royals s3e3 episode reaction

episode 3 is where everything always turns to shit so I'm super not looking forward to this lmfao

ohoho the queen of sweden is having a nervous breakdown. so relatable of her.

I'm lowkey also having a breakdown over wille immediately going into prince mode just bc his mom isn't doing well.

"why do you think I didn't tell you anything? because you wouldn't be able to handle it" NNNNNOOOOOOOO

oh my god that one hit WAY too hard. I can't deal with the mommy issues today.

ugh deeply agreeing with wille. simon needs to lock his social media and throw his phone away. he's starting to stress me the fuck out.

"both for me and the people around me" oh that's... quite the sentence. I know simon just got sucker punched by the fact that it's always gonna be like this

"all I want is to be with you" well you can't!

bro I hate teenagers so fuckin much lmfao

NOT BORIS WANTING TO PSYCHOANALYZE AUGUST

that was psychic warfare from wille idc

"he's decided that I'm evil" lmao you are

"I don't see the point in being nice if he's never gonna forgive me" "well, sometimes being nice to others can make you feel very good" JDKFJDLFJDKFJDKFDJKDOGIDL BORIS LOVE OF MY LIFE

THAT IS SO SHADYYYYYY LMFAO

I genuinely cannot stand vincent. if there's anyone in that school who's legit evil it's gotta be vincent.

oh. yeah. I'm feeling murderous.

fuck you country of sweden you know what you did.

FREDRIKA TYING UP HER HAIR TOO WHEN THE HOUSEMASTER CALLS FELICE OUT OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOD

god. teenage girls make the world go round.

NOT WITH THE SCHOOL INSPECTORS PRESEEEEENTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

NOOOOO SKRKSJRLSKFLSKFLSKDLSKDLD

YOU TWO KEEP REHEARSING

NOT PLAYING A SINGLE KEY AND HUMMING SIFKDLFKSLFKSLFKSLFKDLFKDLFF

oh my god my baby boys

it's the fact that them being so public means that not one (1) person in that room believed they were "rehearsing" jdkfjdlfjdlfjdl

the crown prince alone in a soundproof room with his boyfriend? sure.

god that was HILARIOUS

"I just wish I could get a single moment with you without getting interrupted" [get interrupted]

cinema

of course vincent is going to LA. my bro is going to be an oscar winner in no time, given all the dramatics.

oh

oh sweet jesus

simon, this is NOT the time or place to die on the labor movement hill

oh god

man being a teenager was so exhausting I'm so glad I don't have to do anything like that again

when they eat the rich I hope vincent is first in the grill

I hope felice singlehandedly closed the school lmao

I don't wanna like the whole sara and micke thing I really don't but UGH it's so sweet.

oh

OH

oh he's not is he

IS HE FUCKING

BROOOOOOOOOOO THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY

"he seems nice" oh august you are so clueless

this isn't happening skfkdkgkdkflf

oh my god what is it with royal boys and going "you're the only one I can talk to" y'all can afford a therapist can't you

NOT THE BAKING OHHHHH MY BABIES

"you may have inherited my diagnoses, sara, but you're not me" oh fuck

bro I am like. super into sara and micke hashing shit out, neurodivergently

I can't take wille seriously in the chorus. I cannot. he's so funny

oh god sara is coming back

oh fuck me up I love it when they're all sun kissed and beautiful and have nice lil conversations in front of everyone bc they're boyfriends publicly ohohoho

oh

oh my god

oh is that gonna be the hallway scene

not august waving at sara??? bro get up????

omg the looks from stella and fredrika were SCATHING

not them skipping and swinging their hands together you guys I'm losing my whole damn mind it's getting bad it's getting so bad

WHOOOOOOOREEEEESSSSSSS

OOHHH MY GOD

holy fuck that was....... quite the scene huh

um

let me rewind just now for a lil bit

for science

my brothers in christ you are sluts.

something abt them getting to have slutty slutty sex and finishing off with an I love you heals something in me that has been broken since 2021 ngl

like look at them! they're my boys!!! they're in love and they get to have somewhat public (bc like, a hallway? really?) sex bc they're together and everyone knows!!! they love each other and they can express that in a physical form!!!!! my little strumpets!!!!!!!

ah. fucking figures, huh

of course, thanks micke

oh they're in the literal and metaphorical afterglow!!!!! I love this for them

oh that's not a great train of thought to have after sex now is it

"you can trust me" wille, my love my darling, I love you, truly, from the bottom of my heart, but can he? can he really?

oh that's an actually genius move to show both sides of the coin

I do think simon probably should not be there. son's gonna get too much attention

oh I just remembered the episode description a hahahahahahahaahahahahahaha ha oh I don't want to watch

that was precious but I swear to god simon think with your brain for once aaaaaaaaaa FUCK

great now she just posted his location. and he also fully reposted it didn't he

is he genuinely that dumb like at this point even if you're not famous by proxy you still should know not to post your live location?????? Simon. please.

oh right I forgot the monarchy can't be seen involved with that...... I was more worried abt his safety ldjfldjfldkf

oh

oh no

I was right to worry about his safety

FUUUUUUCK

ugh

[sluttypatrickstar]

i have suffered. i have received unspeakable brain trauma. i have read sentences that i simply cannot unread. that's right, it's time for my chaotic review of verity by colleen hoover!

now i wrote an actual, proper review of this book that used paragraphs and real grammar, but this is tumblr. you're getting the bullet points, you're getting the sweary words, you're getting the dissolution of my sanity.

there's a lot of graphic and disturbing content in this book, so if you're bothered by that kind of thing, it might be best not to read.

the plot:

so our narrator, lowen ashleiggghghghg, is hired by this guy jeremy crawford to finish his wife verity's thriller book series bcus verity was in a car accident and is now profoundly disabled (can't move, can't talk, needs regular care, etc.)

she needs verity's notes and somehow ends up living in verity's house so she can spend literally all day going through verity's office. the only believable part of this is that a writer could be so disorganised that you'd need full days to try and go through all of their stuff

for some context, jeremy is apparently brooding (though i see like, 0 evidence of this) over his wife's accident as well as the deaths of his twin daughters chastin and harper

in verity's office, lowen finds a manuscript that looks like it's verity's autobiography

verity's autobiography starts as overly detailed jeremy smut and oh my fucking god i mean overly detailed i wish i could GOUGE my fucking EYES out this is just BAD PORN this book is like 90% porn 10% no-plot

anyway as this autobiography goes on, lowen is like. holy shit. verity is cuckoo bananas. she is OBSESSED with jeremy. she does that patrick star thing of "what do you when i'm at work all day?" "wait for you to get back :(". she wants to be jezza's ONLY focus and resents her daughters for taking his focus away

like, she tries to plan out her pregnancy so that she'll gain as little weight as possible, but then she finds out they're twins and she's like omg im RUINED and tries to miscarry and abort them

after they're born, she has a premonition of her daughter harper killing her other daughter, chastin (the only daughter she likes, verity fucking hates her kids but randomly starts loving chastin). chastin does in fact die of anaphylactic shock when she's around 8 and verity blames harper

jeremy won't fuck verity because he's so sad about his daughter's death, and verity is not having this, but through some twisted logic she's like maybe he'll be all out of grief if another daughter dies! so she kills harper and stages it as a canoe accident

back to lowen, she's reading this autobiography at an absolute snail's pace (like 1 short chapter a day) while also living with Hot Dad Jeremy (she's into him, especially after reading all that Jeremy Porn), this is most of the book tbh . a series of weird things happen that convince her that verity is faking her disability

lowen is also 100% convinced that verity is PURE FUCKING EVIL from this autobiography

fast forward, jeremy and lowen hook up (surprised pikachu face)

and yes, verity was faking being disabled, where is her OSCAR for that METHOD ACTING that fooled the HOSPITAL the NURSES for MONTHS!!! she didnt even flinch when lowen tried to startle her by literally throwing something across the room. daniel day-lewis is SHAKING

lowen shows jeremy the autobiography and jeremy starts choking verity

lowen is like, stop! they'll know u did it! think of ur son, he'll be fatherless!

actually you should kill him by making her puke instead so they'll think she just aspirated on her own vomit ;)

so jeremy does that instead because that's totally the most sensible option to do in this particular scenario

7 month timeskip and all is great because EVIL verity is DEAD and now lowen and jeremy can be together forever and they even have a new baby on the way bcus jeremy came inside her no condom and apparently every woman in this book is insanely fertile and gets pregnant on the first try

TWIST TIME!!!

they go back to verity and jeremy's house to finish clearing out their stuff

but... lowen finds a note in verity's room...

verity claims that the autobiography was just a writing example to help her write from an antagonistic perspective (her thriller series is notably written from the villain's POV)

jeremy found the autobiography and tried to choke verity to death, but when that failed, he set up her car accident, after which verity decided she had to fake being disabled so she could run away with their living son crew and eventually explain everything

but this plan is an F bcus shes fuckin dead now isnt she

so much effort and for WHAT

the book leaves us with the fucking stupid dry ass cliché question of: WHICH WAS THE REAL VERITY? WHAT WERE THE LIES? WAS THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY REAL OR NOT? and actually i dont give a flying fuck i was just glad to be done

my thoughts

the characters in the book make the most ridiculous and nonsensical decisions and trust me i can say that for sure bcus i have never made a good decision in my life

in the opening chapters, lowen witnesses a car accident & is splattered with blood on the way to her publisher meeting

she encounters jeremy (tho she doesnt know who he is yet) and he takes her to the men's bathroom of a coffee shop to get cleaned up

lowen tAKES HER SHIRT OFF IN FRONT OF THIS ABSOLUTE STRANGER

i am trying to ignore this red flag maybe shes just confident

jeremy proceeds to lock the door to the men's bathroom so that no one else can come in, and lowen finds this comforting! how chivalrous of mr sexy man jeremy!

WHAT THE FUCK LOWEN? HOW IS THIS COMFORTING? I'D BE FUCKING. I'D BE PANICKING SO BAD I'D BE OUT THE DOOR

later in the book we find out that lowen has a chronic sleepwalking problem and can even open inside locks when she's sleepwalking

she broke her wrist sleepwalking when she was a kid so it's not really safe for her to be able to get out and about while sleepwalking

jeremy offers to install a lock on the outside of lowen's bedroom door, so that she can't leave her bedroom without him opening the outside lock for her

instead of finding this FUCKING TERRIFYING

she's Thrilled by his generosity! wow! isn;t jeremy so kind and thoughtful?

lowen! LOWEN!!! GIRL!!!!!!!!!

lucky for her jeremy is apparently a nice guy so jeremy's fucking weird actions are glossed over and theyre so nice arent they... haha...

dude i wanna know what the fuck jeremy has that women are literally OBSESSED with him. hes so bland. he has no personality. he's a cardboard cutout of a man but apparently he has good dick idk

lowen is so besotted with jeremy that she doesnt think it's bad that he tried to kill his wife twice and then succeeded on the third try

no! it's actually so sweet because it proves how much of a dedicated father he is! he thinks verity killed harper so by killing her he's just being such a good and protective dad haha! murder is okay

there was also just way too much sex in this book like i said it before but truly i cannot encapsulate how much of this book was sex. and in case u were wondering about the quality of the sex, 50 shades author EL james is in the acknowledgements of this book.

how are people giving this book 5 stars? it's fucking. it's laughably bad. the plot is so stupid. the characters are boring. no-one makes a single good decision. jeremy is white bread. it's like, really really bad. i really need to know if the straights giving this book 5 stars need help, therapy, or jesus. if u do, please blink SOS in morse code, i will come and get u.

everyone who has a superiority complex because they've never read a single CoHo book is correct . u guys are doing great

[seishun-emergency]

ACTUALLY. HOLY SHIT okay it's soooo topical that i was studying victorian literature this year because. there was a huge debate in the victorian era around the "condition of england" debate as it related to industrialization and art and its so unbelievably fucking applicable to what's happening with valkyrie during the war, with shu's view of art and perfectionism

so a big talking point during the victorian era was about industrialization and the role of the working class and how, effectively, they were being turned into materials or machines for the sake of "progress" - namely, the progress or benefit of the elite few at the cost of their humanity. this eventually extended into art . there's this guy john ruskin that wrote an entire thing called the stones of venice about the debate of perfection/imperfection in art, and how he believes that imperfection in art is necessary, because perfection in art/artisan craft (as was prized during the victorian era and in england) was achieved by "geniuses" at the cost of the humanity and individual creative spirit of "regular" people who could help them achieve this perfection in their craft by splitting the load. effectively, turning these humans into tools or machines for the "genius" creator to wield in order to achieve the perfect art.

sound familiar?

some quotes from ruskin's stones of venice:

"Understand this clearly: You can teach a man to draw a straight line, and to cut one [...] and to carve any number of given lines or forms, with admirable speed and perfect precision [...] but if you ask him to think about any of those forms [...] he stops; his execution becomes hesitating; he thinks, and ten to one he thinks wrong [...] he makes a mistake [...] but you have made of him a man for all that. He was only a machine before, an animated tool.

And, observe, you are put to stern choice in this matter. You must either make a tool of the creature, or a man of him. You cannot make both. Men were not intended to work with the accuracy of tools, to be precise and perfect in all their actions. If you will have that precision out of them [...] you must unhumanize them."

ruskin also has a few paragraphs talking about the idea that art or goods can be made both genuine and perfect by having a gentleman or artisan or genius design the form of the art/goods, and "common workmen" do the actual creation process, allowing for "design and finish". ruskin challenges this, saying that it's founded on "two mistaken suppositions" that 1) one person's thoughts can be accurately executed by another person's hands and 2) that the kind of manual labour necessary to actually make the finished products is a downgrade from the creative work of design

"We are always in these days endeavoring to separate the two; we want one man to be always be thinking, and another to always be working, and we call one a gentleman, and the other an operative. [...] As it is, we make both ungentle [...] and the mass of society is made up of morbid thinkers, and miserable workers."

"It seems a fantastic paradox, but it is nevertheless a most important truth, that no architecture can be truly noble which is not imperfect. [...] For since the architect, whom we will suppose capable of doing in all perfection, cannot execute the whole with his own hands, he must either make slaves of his workmen [...] or else he must take his workmen as he finds them, and let them show their weaknesses together with their strength, which will involve [...] imperfection, but render the whole work as noble as the intellect of the age can make it."

and finally: "But, accurately speaking, no good work whatever can be perfect, and the demand of perfection is always a sign of misunderstanding of the ends of art."

"but leo! shu makes all the costumes and songs and stuff for valkyrie the argument you make isn't true because it's not like shu ISN'T doing the work" I MEAN. OKAY. SURE shu IS doing a lot! but also it isn't necessarily the creation of the songs or the costumes or the choregraphy that's the focus here, the final "product" to be consumed. its the PERFORMANCE.

and mika and nazuna, during the exvalk days, essentially function like tools. their goal is to be honed to perform perfectly by shu's hand, in order to present the completely perfect final product that shu wants for his art. the analysis through ruskin's view of tools and perfection still applies, i think

anyways. i dont know if akira meant This much of an anything but it's really interesting to connect shu's victorian aesthetic of valkyrie and perfectionism at all costs to actual discourses happening in victorian england around art and perfection and industrialization and dehumanization. i hope it was meant as this much of a something i think that's a really fucking smart way to incorporate victorian debates into valkyrie and shu's characterization and i had fun pulling all this apart and putting things together

[redundare]

well my goodness, i was tagged by @dangerouscommiesubversive and i would love nothing more than to comply~

Last song: "Heaven Sent" The Steeldrivers

Favorite color: black, followed by olive green (and then many other shades of green)

Currently reading: today I was reading The Foxfire Book, vol. 1. I'm currently deep into Appalachia research, so I'm about to skimread all three of my Foxfire volumes. My library got hacked so I can't check out any digital books, otherwise I'd also be finishing my read of Mob Psycho 100

Currently watching:

Justified, s3. I am deep, deep, deep, into a hyperfixation on Justified

Interview With The Vampire S2. Holy fucking shit this show is peak television, I cannot believe it's not getting more attention. It's Hannibal all over again, in that no one's fucking watching and people will mourn it when it's gone. It's the most beautiful piece of television happening, queer or otherwise

McElroy Family Clubhouse - the only thing that brings me consistent uncomplicated joy

Dimension20 and Game Changer - again, things bringing me consistent uncomplicated joy. Can't wait for next season of d20

Last movie: I had to go check my letterboxd, and god fucking help me, it was the last movie we watched at Bad Movie Night, which was Neil Breen's latest installment, Cade: The Tortured Crossing. truly it was fucking torture for all of us.

Sweet/spicy/savory?: savory all day every day. but with some spice (ideally a hot sauce) on top to cut the fat, y'know?

Relationship status: married as fuck (and i have a tumblr tag for him and everything)

Last thing I googled: what am i supposed to look this up? i think it was probably "justified" so i could get to the wiki because i'm a fucking boomer

Current obsession(s): Justified, all i want is to be pickling my brain in it.

I would like to tag @mercyofkalr @tobermoriansass @meisim @tarantulabassett and @spaceyspaces

[beasttrash]

with twitter self imploding i thinking about shifting back here so i am cautiously starting with Some Thoughts on film red under the cut

yes!! i love the confirmation that usopp is the crew's stylist and makes their clothes. actually, i think oda might have mentioned something about usopp making t-shirts but i've also been re-reading saint young men so my wires are getting crossed, probably.

audience surrogate jinbe is great and helpful ngl. he's the only one asking the right questions and i love him for it. also?? they did just a fantastic job seamlessly adding him to the crew here. he had so many cool scenes i am so happy for him. 😭

i wanna say the most out of focus character in the movie was,,, zoro? he was. there. like he did a lot of cool things, but he didn't do a whole lot. which is fine bc i think characters like brook and usopp have been out of focus in the manga so giving them some time to shine isn't a bad thing. i honestly think the only thing zoro got out of the movie was free booze, he's happy. i'm happy.

we'll get to sanji. also zosan so do not fret i will be on brand for this.

im a dumbass who paid $25 US dollary doos for dolby digital (imax though, makes me nauseous) but holy fucking hell that was worth it, the music combined with the visuals looked so fucking Good on screen, i can't really imagine watching it on my laptop screen or even a tv. this is definitely the reason why we need theaters yet ngl.

uta gaslights the entire movie and we love her for it. i love oda's "were gonna make cute, morally ambiguous girlbosses" era

"oh no not another movie about a new character from a main character's childhood who we never met until now" actually i felt like uta's addition to the movie was a lot less contrived than sabo surviving a ship explosion, and tbf luffy is not really one to talk about his past all that much so it works for me.

most of the side characters were well intergrated into the movie with the exception of kalifa, i wish she'd done more but i guess there were already a lot of characters to organize.

im so happy they were like "brulee has such a fantastic devil fruit power we're gonna add her in here and also katakuri, sure, the people LOVE katakuri i love brulee she's so funny and my favorite charlotte sibling WEEPS

ok now we'll talk about the Boy.

sanji was a good boy

i love when sanji keeps his shit together, smooth operator sanji is such a Mood.

YES i did cry at him flirting with brulee omg that was such an adorable scene, i wish he was more flirty with older ladies like that. it feels so on brand for him to do that.

ok back in may i made a joke about sanji and zoro taking edibles in context of this movie and i didn't think there would be drugs in the film because of japan's views on illicit substances. and then uta slips sanji a shroom and i'm fuckin losing my shit. apollo pegging me with the dodgeball here.

music, violence, drugs, Woodstock 99 the anime. Anyway

i'll finish off this ramble with Zosan of course.

the pandering was so explicit i cannot believe toei made them sleep next to each other like a chaste 1950s couple with separate beds.

ok i said zoro did nothing earlier. 90 per cent of zoro's lines in the film were just him flirting with sanji and 45% of sanji's lines was him reciprocating. toei knows exactly what they are doing and its killing me.

the shoulder scene? fucking Shameless zoro. whore behavior.

imagine being anime only and watching zoro knock out a bunch of dudes with out even looking at them and sanji's leg turning into blue fire for 5 seconds. have fun wondering what that's all about.

and that 5 seconds where luffy does gear 5?? knocked my fuckin socks off

final thoughts: if i had the time i'd go watch it in theaters again. this movie?? this movie was made for me!! im sure there are a lot of flaws but personally it worked for what it was lol. 10/10.