#honest to god i dont care if you dont read this fic i just need everyone to see the art teddy did for it

[yorkmas]

Things May Not Have Come to This - Chapter 12 is up! Read it here!

Thomas and York learn they have something very important in common

[stackthedeck]

i need someone who understands to commiserate with me.

WHY are people marking spider-man - all media types when they mean "twinky tiny teeny baby tom holland and papá stark and ooh sometimes big hulking predatory gay teen fucker deadpool (i think thats his name ive never read a comic but i know he hears voices oooOohooH)" thats NOT ALL MEDIA TYPES THATS THE FUCKING TOM HOLLAND MOVIES

they can like that! i dont CARE. what i care about is intentionally obfuscating your fic premise, thereby making ME read it 😭😭😭

i know spideytorch is your fav flame but at least many torch knowers know about smth besides the movies 😔😔

(have a good day, i needed to bitch and i was like. he is the only one who will truly understand 💛)

Anon I feel you I bitch about this every day lmao the exclude mcu button on ao3 is my best friend! Like listen mcu fans can do whatever they want but like fandom etiquette dictates that if I don’t like I shouldn’t read so it’s common courtesy for them to say exactly what the fic is so I can know that I’m the type of fan who doesn’t like it so I won’t read it. Like I’ve been 5k words into pretty alright Spider-Man fic and then I’m hit with the “mr.stark” and I’m like god where’s my Spider-Man that doesn’t respect billionaires it’s crushing every time. And like hey mcu fans, y’all are the majority here if people want Tom Holland Spider-Man they’re searching that fandom tag so use it so more of your intended audience can read your fic!

I’ll be honest with you anon the reason I’m so into spidey torch is because 1 it’s a semi popular ship and 2 spidey torch fans tend to be obsessed with the comics sometimes for both the boys but they’re a super fan of at least one. The fantastic four have had nothing but shitty adaptations so their comic fandom is bigger than their movie fandoms it’s wonderful. I don’t really ship Johnny with Peter beyond like oh they probably were a friends with benefits situation or a Johnny is way more hopelessly in love situation. Nah the real goat of Johnny Storm ships is Johnny and Wyatt Wingfoot that is a power couple that can stand the test of time. But unfortunately it’s a very small tag and there’s quite a few writers who don’t know how to be normal about Native Americans. But my diehard spidey ship is parksborn and that tag is such a mixed bag! Sometimes it’s like the perfect replication of the comic dynamic, sometimes it’s the Raimi movies (functionally two different characters but also fun), something to do with the cartoons (not my thing because they’re kids doing high school drama), whatever the fuck Andrew Garfield had going with that dying Victorian orphan, or Harry is the evil ex but like evil the same way Norman was like fuck off!

Anyway spidey torch is the only spidey dude slash ship that has like consistently good fics but all the other ships you’ve gotta sift through a lot of bull shit but it’d be so much easier to find what I want if people would just tag their shit correctly!

Anyway thank you for bitching with me anon. Reminder: fuck the mcu until Sabra is removed from captain America 4, pirate your movies and comics and don’t buy shit from them. Pirate spectacular Spider-Man comics and every single Wyatt Wingfoot appearance

[sabaramonds]

if anyone is wondering if im going to do an analysis of double & mikoto i uhhh need to find more stuff to read in english about psychiatric care and dissociative disorder patients in japan but given what ive found so far im like. well this is what i expected from milgram ill be honest having read the voice drama tl and watched the mv 8573485 times (omg hanae natsukis vocals) i do have a few thoughts. mentions of CSA and childhood abuse below as well as medical abuse - mikoto2 ("john" LMFAOOOO) claims he was born from mikotos workplace stress and implies that mikoto did not have DID prior to that; DID is only developed in childhood, but its common to live your life without knowing about it until adulthood (the average age at diagnosis is 29-35 years as of a 2007 paper on sciencedirect i just double checked; according to a 2009 piece from the national library of medicine, the average patient for a diagnosis is a woman of about 30 years old and a retroactive view of the patients medical history and symptoms tend to reveal a lifetime of DID symptoms) so basically im saying that its equally possible deco and yamanaka are unaware of this or mikoto2 is lying his ass off because why would he want to tell some amnesiac teenage prison warden btw the reason i exist is because mikoto was abused as a child. why do you think our mom divorced our dad. even if es likely researched it themself and is probably aware of the statistical likelihood that mikoto experienced long term childhood abuse, why would mikoto2 say it...especially if that abuse was sexual in nature - according to this video recorded by a japanese man (a recovering hikkikomori who experienced forced hospitalization in the past), the 2017 statistics for mental hospital inpatients was that there were 280,000 patients at the time, and 170,000 of those were hospitalized for over a year. 90,000 had been in hospital care for more than 5 years and 26,000 had been in care for 20 years. he also references that most psychiatric care facilities are private in nature, not government-run, so they prioritize the amount of patients they receive in a short period of time because it earns them more profits (another video i watched compared this practice to a mcdonalds burger vs a proper restaurant; make more at a cheaper cost). likewise, long term care facilities dont want to let their patients go easily, because even if families or the patient cant afford to cover the cost, insurance or the government social security system will cover it. a combination of the psychiatric business as its run and the broader cultural attitude towards mental health (in some cases, families do not want their shame to be public, and actively do not want their mentally ill relative to be released from the hospital; if this is the case, its more likely for a patient to be forcibly hospitalized long term without anyone outside to advocate for their release) so im kind of like. hm. (see saw motion with my hand) as far as rep goes i think its kinda middling, especially because mikoto2 is the Alter Who Kills People For Some Reason trope, which always sucks and basically every journal, article, or vlog ive looked into from people with DID has said "god please stop with the murder alter trope please please", but considering the source material i think its...well, its honestly better than what i was expecting. but milgram is designed to be abstract to a certain extent and were still missing information, so who knows. maybe yamanaka and deco have something else up their sleeve regarding mikoto. but yeah i couldnt find anything specifically regarding patients with DID (or related disorders) but i did only poke around for like 2 hours in the middle of the night soooo ill come back to it and that concludes my findings on this topic for today. stay tuned for my next mikoto fic installment or whatever

[makur0]

hiii hope u r having a great day ! ur writing is so..... [froths] /pos

is it ok for me to rq a "morning after sex" fluff fic w keito? im a complete sucker for aftercare/morning after sex fics lol. also i have mo idea if this counts as non-nsfw since this is a bit suggestive so uhhhh u can ignore this rq ! i dont wanna trouble u !!

thanks in advance ^_^ (btw sorry if im not making any sense i only got two hours of sleep last night lmao)

hmmm ok! in fact, let's do all of AKATSUKI (cause why not lmao)

Keito Hasumi is a GOD at aftercare... maybe even more so than when you actually sleep with him. I will admit he follows a strict schedule and throws you off a bit, but after a while it's common between the two of you and definitely relaxing. I don't think he's the type to stay in bed and cuddle after an hour or so the two of you wake up; he's going to likely wake you up around 8 sharp and bring you into the shower, then you guys can snuggle as he gives you the massage of your life. And as you are getting dressed he'll set up all these scent sticks that he knows that will have a calming effect on you. And his favorite part: You guys sit down together and read quietly, basking in each other's warmth and silence. His aftercare is mostly mental aftercare, but will still make sure the physical side is well taken care of.

Kuro Kiryu may have a lot of energy to burn whenever the two of you go at it, but the following morning he's out. It's likely you wake up before him, his snores muffled by the blanket, and you get out of bed to do your morning routine and recover from last night. But even if the man is knocked out cold he knows that your warmth is now missing, and will fight in his sleep to try and gain it back. When you walk into the bedroom again he has his face shoved in your pillow, splayed all over the mattress. Because he's been fussing so much he woke up just a little bit to realize your presence in the room, and opens his bleary eyes to see you all freshened up and all. Will definitely complain that you didn't wake him up so that he could do it for you. But no matter- within a second your diving back into the sheets, hooking onto Kuro like a koala and shoving your face into his chest. General aftercare is just bear snuggles and nothing else :)

Souma Kanzaki would have to be taught how to do proper aftercare, just like sex. To be honest I feel like the first few times he would be needing the aftercare, you cooing little cute things into his ear as you force his sore muscles to relax. But after a while he gets more attuned to it, and soon enough he'll be the one to give you those well-needed massages and sweet words. Generally though it's never directed toward just one person, but you guys hold down each other. Either one needs it more than the other, or you guys just stay in a stiff blanket ball until you get hungry. Deadass tbh-

[ns-imagines]

I did not want to bring drama onto this page but, i need to be able to defend myself and my blog.

To the @ users i had to read ur posts and comments so you should probably read mine :D

Edited: @everyone who comments and then deletes their comment. if ur gonna talk shit unblock me. I am all for it.

It is not fair in any form that everyone involved has only read that post. Let alone the person posting things to provoke the downfall of my week old blog and for me to receive death threats and to be called horrible things. Before you key board smash in the comments read the whole thing below.

There is absolutely no r*pe in the fic i posted. The non consensual aspect of it is Nikto entering the readers personal space, touching of the hand/shoulder/thigh. Everything sexual is consensual. Could i have explained it better in the tags yes. But it does not prompt what is basically cyber bullying to occur. It is my first NSFW post in the entire history of my account 2017-present.

Also people complaining its NSFW its a NSFW post???

Now addressing @cssndra-cain

This had all started two days into the reactivation of my blog. They had posted this.

** CRAZYYYY i go back to take a screenshot of the post and its fucking GONEE. It was a screenshot of my Character Introduction for Nikto. It was basically just talking shit.

At the time MY @ for this blog was in the # portion of the post. My like four followers reached out to me bringing this to my attention. I was almost finished with my fic so I decided to be petty back and send this meme

In no way shape or form does it say what the post is about, the nsfw, the contents, NOTHING. You are absolutely mad if you think i went to read your blog and ur entire life story after you calling me out under hashtags. I am honest to god regretting not taking screenshots of the chat because it was deleted either when they changed their name or blocked me. I dont know or care how tumblr DMS work.

If ur gonna post screenshots post the entire conversation because me stating “dont be sensitive” was referring to the mass amount of nsfw content under tumblr and under the COD fandom. I stated to them in DM there was no r*pe content involved and that it was just touching or him entering the readers personal space. I made sure to directly update it after having this conversation with the other user.

They then proceeded to reblog a post mentioned pedo****a and put MY blog in the hashtags. How the fuck am i a pedo*****e making a NSFW scenario about a man that is well over 20 maybe even 30? Please tell me.

This user then proceeded to remove the hashtags that mentioned me and made the post below

I will personally provide you the link if you want it.

In this post they completely bash my account and LIE about our interaction. Saying that, and i quote

“The author who DMed me even invalidated how much I found rape disturbing by saying “well there’s worse rape fics on here” and saying that I’m too sensitive to be on tumblr.”

Post the entire conversation because this is utter bullshit. All i sent was the meme.

“Imagine telling someone with any kind of past of sexual violence, that they’re too sensitive for the internet “

Because yes, (and this is sarcasm if you are dense) i totallly reviewed this persons account and knew their entire back story of trauma.

Then we have the user’s commenting who dont even BOTHER to check the other side of the story. You would think at the age of 16 or over (tumblr’s age requirement) you would understand that people say shit they way they want you to hear it. There is two sides to each story. If you are that easily influenced and dont do your research after seeing a post on the internet i am genuinely worried.

Then what gets me the most is this person continues to mention me in post. At what point does this become bullying?? You probably wont even read this because you want to feel in the right. Almost your entire blog is complaining about NSFW and how it triggers you like the author is supposed to know. You should probably turn on the NSFW filter. Please message me and i can show you how step by step.

I do not condone or support r*pe sexual assault or pedo****a. You read a NSFW post and got mad it was NSFW.

Im tagging everyone i dont care. If ur gonna call me horrible things, send death threats fucking read this.

Since ur post mentioned things I should learn. Hopefully you learn from this. Dont call people out if you don’t expect the truth to come out. Because i aint the one to take shit talking.

@ghostsaop @fury-under-night @collinnmckinley

@snikimobius @bjahfler @obligatoryghoststare @freshlemontea @romancedeldiablo

^insane most of you guys are late 20s early 30s

I will not be replying to comments or other post im done and i simply do not care anymore i am going to continue writing.

For my followers who are just enjoying my writing. Thank you and i love writing for yall. This will be the only drama post on my account and after 12 hours i will be adding a “read more” so it isnt blocking my content.

*me when i read a marked NSFW post and theres NSFW*

[krisseratops]

Hi! How about A9, B9 and C6? Oh, and D10!

Hiiii hon! Alright lets see...

A9. Who was your first ship?

The earliest ship I remember that I got actually invested in is Reaper76 from Overwatch. I mean, traumatized old gay men who like to shoot at each other and have a HistoryTM? It covers all the basics for me. Also this ship is what made me find AO3, so it kinda introduced me to fandom as a whole and is therefore technically responsible for all the madness that came after it.

B9. Who is your OTP?

You know, I was going to say this is a hard question because I have so many pairings I like in several fandoms and I dont really pick favorites because I like different aspects about them and also Im indecisive. And then I remembered Symbrock. And nothing really comes near the level of absolutely messy devotion of (comics!)Symbrock. So yeah.

C6. Is there anything in canon that made you want to quit the show? What was it? Why do you hate it?

Oh boy, here we go... So not a show, but allllll the shit Cates did with absolute garbage & co and what came after essentially made me quit venom comics and comics in general. Do I even need to explain myself? Like I was keeping up with Venom and also Spider-man and some others because it was fun and enjoyable. And then came the egregious retconning, inconsistencies, character butchering (both how they were written but also literally), characters dying and coming back and dying again and coming back again and fucking gods apparently and how every single issue was The Most Shocking And Dramatic Things The Characters Have Ever Been Through and everything is just edgy and grimdark and angsty and so fucking STUPID and it was just. It wasnt fun or enjoyable anymore, only exhausting and frustrating and sad. And not sad like a sad story makes you feel, but sad like watching something you care about irreparably crash and burn in real time without being able to do anything about it and knowing you can never have it back the way it was (which there is enough of IRL). So I powered through until king in black where I just said "reading this bullshit is draining and depressing and doesnt bring me anything, its not worth it anymore so fuck it" and just stopped. And with my main reason for reading comics gone I ditched marvel comics altogether because lets be honest keeping up with all the different stories and timelines and crossovers and whatnot is exhausting cuz theres just so damn much going on all the time. And why torment yourself with shitty canon when you can have wonderful fanfics tailored to your specific tastes all for free? So I quit comics, read fics instead, got into some new fandoms, indulged my hc and have ever since been living blissfully unaware of the burning dumpster fire (derogatory) that is canon. I only see glimpses of it when it crosses my dash, which I use for cherrypicking for my hc and aggressively ignore the rest.

D10. What is one story idea you really want to read but no one has written yet?

I have a whole lot of story ideas I really want to read (my hcs) that no one has written yet (that would be cuz of me not writing them). But for real, I would love more stories with symbiote & spider-people shenanigans. Like there was this one comic of Peter, Miles and Gwen meeting Venom and fighting Doc Ock toghether and they were kinda buddies? More stuff like that, that has spider/symbiote interaction besides them just trying to kill each other. Maybe it exists and I just havent found it. But like, Venom in spiderverse, they have to team up with the spider gang and they kinda get along because he doesnt have any personal beef with them. He will absolutely recite and discuss Shakespear with that medieval spiderman, be enamored with little Mayday, and be nothing but gentlemanly toward spider ma'am. The other spiders find that "yeah he is freaky and has some dubious morals but isnt actually just an evil monster, he just doesnt like you Peter". The Peter in question does not like it one bit. Him and Venom (barely) tolerate each other, as they always do when they team up, but are constantly petty and passive aggressive towards each other in a funny way, bickering like an old married couple. Because of the nature of their history they also know stuff about each other and will casually drop highly personal details about the other that makes the other spiders go "👀 you sure he's your enemy and not just your ex?". Which Peter likes even less. Other story ideas i desperately need is ANYTHING WITH ANTI-VENOM HOLY SHIT WHERE IS MY BABY!?!?!?! I need stories that let him be a silly dumbass and a pathetic wet beast and occasionally getting railed that dont just exist in my head. But the amount of content on him is just dismal. I often feel like the sole inhabitant of the ghost town that is the Anti-Venom fandom. I've come across one (1) quality fic that portrays him properly (thank you @kitausuret for your invaluable service) and good art is hard to come by compared to other characters. And I realize that if I want more art of him and an Anti-Venom x Agent Venom arch-enemies-to-reluctant-allies-to-even-more-reluctant-friends-to-how-the-hell-did-this-happen excruciating slow burn, I will probably have to do it myself, which hghgnghgnhhh will take forever, but oh well.

Well, this sorta turned into an essay that turned into an impromptu vent post. Hope thats okay and you got your answers!

[lostmykeysie]

hi keysie! i dnt use tumblr like at all but i recently just finished reading the horcrux hunt n the missing link and boy do i hve thoughts i need to share. listen, ur writing is absolutely phenomenal n i cannot stop thinking abt it morning, noon n night. the way u write the friendship between regulus n remus has me crying n laughing all at the same time. they care abt each other sm. it feels so real to me. i love them so so so much.

honestly, i wasnt sure how i felt abt the platonic kissing at first but as i read on i get it. the way u portray their dynamic it js fits so well. i literally adore the way they talk to each other n ive honestly hvent found any other works like it. im so glad they had each other during the war and everything.

some aspects of their friendship tht rlly hve my heart/stuck w me:

- the fact tht regulus starts questioning his view of everything bc remus came into his life !!

-n the fact he goes into the wolfsbane project (mostly?) bc of remus - THEIR NICKNAMES FOR EACH OTHER

-regulus (especially the 'You’ve got me tearing my hair out here Rom, I’m so worried.' letter) n lilys letters to remus during the december moon 😭😭

-the fact tht they share memories on the pensieve w each other js so tht the other cn understand their feelings. IT FEELS SO INTIMATE. its like when ure telling ur friend a problem tht u cnt quite change but u js need them to listen yk?

-"I think the Lupins were always meant to be a four piece set, and now we’ve finally got you." I ADORE THEM!! regulus n hopes relationship 💗💗💗

-when regulus was like how cld u sirius??? he thought u were the love of his life n u thought he was a traitor??? i cld kill u rn. me too reg me too.

speaking of wolfstar angst,, u wrote them so well!! my heart cracks little by little with every fight they hve in the camden flat but theyre doing sm better now in tml it makes me SO happy. the fight where remus leaves for his parents house yet still left pieces of himself in the flat BROKE ME.

the fact tht remus wnted to tell sirius n the others wht he was doing so bad but cldnt, n in the end he knew it was right not to bc of the rat. honestly, the way u decipt peter has me in shambles. bc like, he was ready to betray them frm THE START yk?? like he literally became animagi for remus n STILL tried to frame him. id feel violent as well.

and lily, oh gods lily. i love her so much. the fact tht she cried bc she realised she loved james n felt like she was losing a piece of herself bc she thought tht meant she didnt love alice anymore??? broke me once again. alice is one of my favourite characters and no matter how minor of a role she plays in any fic i still love her dearly. i, too, would be in love w her.

i also love tht lily n remus were still able to repair their friendship even w everything tht happened. i dont rmb wht happened to the polaroid, did lily take it w her?

the girls + dorcas n reg getaway!!! dorcas' face jewellery omg 💗💗 i also plan to get a few piercings to my face when i cn in the future :)

reg n lily hving a truce in muggle waitrose is so funny n endearing to me bc theyre hving a heart to heart while picking up cheese and like?? breadsticks 😭😭

oh well, this is getting quite long i think. my last point: jegulus!!

ill be honest i stumbled upon the missing link before the horcrux hunt bc i was looking for jegulus fics but after seeing reg n remus interact i HAD to go bck m read thh. no regrets, i enjoyed it dearly.

reg n james kissing n reg js being like nope nope im not gns process tht. BUT LIKE NOW THEYRE HOLDING HANDS !! honestly i love how reg treats harry, their interactions has my heart. if i were james n i saw reg n my son interacting, id already be a gooey puddle on the floor, james has quite the self control. tho considering it is physically impossible for it to happen, i think he has already metaphorically melted into a gooey puddle on the floor.

lastly the part where remus was talking abt how haz takes after all the four of them. one of my favourite moments honestly.

now this is quite a lot, so if u do end up reading all of this, thank u for writing thh n tml. 💗

sending lots of love x

hi darling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

first of all i just want to say this is the LONGEST ask i have ever had lmao i didn't even know you were allowed this many characters your power is unmatched xxx it's like you wrote me a lil story you're the best xxx

i love regus friendship and i can't even remember why i was like 'you know what i need to write about this' but i will NEVER write them as anything but bffs ever again i am obsessed with them i love them so much i'm so glad you do too xxx

i think the platonic kissing was a bit of a wild ride for us all and i think some folks were a bit worried it wouldn't come across as platonic because it feels like such a romantic thing but i think once we got used to it it just became *their thing* you know?? and i love it so so much i love them and they love each other i love their dynamic so much

i love your list of faves <3 i just love the concept of people having fave things and moments it makes me sooooo happy. i think our faves are quite similiar, reggie doing the wolfsbane trial defo for me. the first night they got drunk together in reggie's flat is also close to my heart<3 and of course reg seeing sirius for the first time in years and defending remus <3

the wolfstar angst hurts but it's also just... it's not *easy* to write but they just have so much angst they really have fought a war for their relationship and it's never been smooth sailing and i'm glad i didn't just throw them together happily ever after once the war was over because it just didn't feel real enough you know? BUT i feel like we've earned the fluff now and that is ALL we have now for these last four chapters it's fluff fluff smut and fluff and i can't wait <3 <3 it tastes so much sweeter now because of the angst you know

peter was a tough one because i feel like canon implies he's just a coward but that's just. not enough for me, you know? and he's canonically a hat stall so i just love the idea he's actually this menacing creature that is so selfish and self centred that as soon as he thought he wouldn't be on the winning side of the war and voldemort had more to give him he just dipped. like how you can forsake your best friends of ten years you have to be a horrid person and a coward just doesn't cover that for me!!!!! but a person driven by selfish motivation their whole life, loyal to only themselves???? yes please

i LOVE lily i love sapphic lily but i LOVE the idea of jily being best friends. lily is so mature, much more mature - emotionally too - than the rest of them, especially the boys. it is a bit heartbreaking to not only give her unrequited love for her best friend but then to kill alice.... such an ouch i wont lie. but i love her. and i'm really excited for her future in this series too, i didn't just want to shove her into a relationship like she's got trauma to get over healthily and a kid and everything she deserves a proper arc <3

lily did take the polaroid!!! she has it in a drawer at the moment but it won't stay there <3

dorcas is a legend and i love them they're such a fun character to write and i might be inspired enough to re-pierce my other nostril and get an eyebrow... i want a ring through my eyebrow soooo bad

i love reg and lily and they will only get closer <3 <3

omg me and you both. i feel like reg is accidentally great with kids and james potter is the daddiest daddy so of course if you're great with his kid he's gonna love you. that definitely sold reg for him i think. i also love him so much in this fic because i feel like he just *knows* how to deal with the black brothers. he's not pushing reg for anything despite being quite obviously his biggest fan and i love him for it i actually LOVE them. and i didn't expect to! this is my first jegulus fic and idk if i'll write them again outside of this universe/series but i love them so much i feel like they've come together so well and they complement each other and i LOVE THEM

i do love little harry and i cannot wait for harry to grow up with all four (and more) of them raising him. i will defo do follow up fics in this series without a doubt because i just have to for my own sake xxx

thanks so much for coming and writing me your own little story in my ask box hahahah sorry it took so long for me to get to it, i am chronically OFFline xxxxxx kisses xxxxxxx hope you enjoy the final few chapters !!!!!!!!!

[ramrage]

fic concept: "dear simon"

ive been playing with the idea of writing a fic but it's told entirely through the pages of soap's journal, which have at some point become a collection of letters to ghost. of course he's never going to give them to ghost. he just needs a way to puzzle out their interactions because ghost is a cryptic pain in the ass and does he hate me or like me what's going on?

it definitely is chock full of limitations, but were i able to work around them and somehow make it benefit the narrative, it would be electric. the "truth" wouldn't matter or exist at all. it would be limited to soap's perception, colored by overthinking and shame/embarrassment despite trying to write something completely honest and for his eyes only.

shit i wrote at 3am below the cut. any suggestions/crit/feedback would be GREAT (plsplspls)

Dear Simon,

Yer never gonna read this. I’ll probably take a match to it when I’m done because yer a sneaky bastard and writing all this makes me feel like a cunt. I take to my journal, have been forever, to make my thoughts more real, yknow? not sure why i’m explaining myself to ye like yer ever gonna read it…

You’ve been getting on my last bleeding nerve, is the thing. Not like yer doin anything out of the ordinary for yerself. just the normal mysterious, aloof, fucken terrifying thing you do. with the stupid mask. fucken. i just didn’t know that /your thing/ also involved making fucken shite jokes bein endearing not as terrifying as i took ye fer. and that’s grand, except when you’re not being that way and i’m left to wonder how things went tits up.

i remember meeting you. they told me ye were some big scary fucker, and ye were, jesus, but i wanted to crack ye. after graves turned and left us to claw outta las almas, i thought i was. i didnae think ye’d wait for me, didnae think ye’d be in my ear with some of the most shite jokes i’d ever heard, but ye were. made me wanna push ye. see yer limits. i’ll be honest, i was full on with callin ye a good ol boy and tellin ye to take yer mask off. sorry bout that. but ye coulda shut me up and i know ye wouldnae struggle to. so i thought i found a boundary.

but you’ve been short with me all week. today, ye fucking head case, i do nothin more than nudge ye in the gym, tell ye yer liftin light + ye come at me like ye got a stick up yer arse. not even a quip back. whatdye say? some bullshite about respecting your superiors, /mactavish/. ye didnae strike me as a man who gave a quarter shite about vanity lifting and ye still don’t. im probably making somethin outta nothin and i dinnae ken why i even give a damn, give a damn enough to write it out like a wee fucken lovesick school girl, but here i am. i’ve not cared about people liking me for bleedin ages. and people tend to like me, no? charming and handsome bastard that i am.

maybe i don like thinking i can’t figure you out. yer rank pulling stunt has me wanting to punch the head clean off ye, but i still think i can crack ye. it’d do ye some good, lt. i told ye as much in las almas, and i meant it. not sure if ye got it, though.

well. i’ve not got anything left to tell ye, not today, and my hands are cramping somethin awful so i’ll sign off. until next time, ye jackarse.

J

notes to the readers that might exist:

in addition to literally any feedback you have, i have some specific questions about bits im particularly unhappy with/insecure about. but dw bout being too harsh or honest, i was in writing workshops (you wouldnt be able to tell smh) with liberal arts students with something to prove so my skin has been thickened yk. if by the grace of god you wanna beta pls lmk and ill have a child just so i can give you my firstborn xx

how do we feel about the strikethroughs? personally i think they can help me say shit that i want the reader to know but dont think johnny completely means or is ready to say

should i push details like that which reinforce that this is written by hand? like shorthand, writing + instead of "and"

i put slashes around things that i would otherwise italicize bc that's what i do when i journal. does it work? what would work better?

should the entries include dates?

how severely does it sound like an american trying to sound scottish lol? lmk what works/doesn't work im dying out here

i have an idea for the last chapter (despite not having a plot) and tbh it's predictable as hell but it could be zesty (;

[tojikai]

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO I CANT– NO! I SWEAR TO GOD NO 😭😭😭😭😭 IT CANT BE PLEASE NO my anxiety right now is like 📈📈📈📈📈📈📈📈📈📈📈📈 PLEASE POR FAVOR お願いします WHATEVER LANGUAGE YOU WANT, I BEG YOU NO 😭😭😭😭

SERIOUSLY, this fic is messing too much w my emotions, i dont think i can take it anymore LMAO i got the notification i was already nervous, then i started reading and my heart was beating SO FAST and i now i feel like throwing up and crying damn kkkkkkkk /smiling through the tears/ you rly making me feel all sort of things, im sad but enjoying it too much to complain lol

OKAY. I need to be honest here: i read that ask someone said how they perceived each character and i MAY feel more empathetic to Satoru now lol (ormaybeimjustbiasedwhatever) truly happy to see him working on himself and everything else but bro??? c'mon¡!!!¡!! you shouldn't be so naive atp anymore pls she was even talking to the dragon when you got home, my love 😭😭😭 hopefully she wont get pregnant, or loses the baby, or gets arrested for touching someone w/o consent, or gets in a car accident and dies– anyways, there are soooo many ways it could so i will hope for the best while hoping for the worst too;;; the things you do to me, istg 🥲

Also, Toji's showing too many red flags lol i mean, i can kinda understand him but???? Nah, it's like he isn't even trying to listen and understand the reader 🧐 girl, just take your lil girl and run, all mens are bad atp lol go find geto suguru, he knows how to be a good girl's dad and is handsome too

Anyway, after this chapter i may or may not have wavered as Team Toji 👀 its a bit worrying tbh and im that type of person who thinks "one alarm's enough, im out bye~" so cant be hypocritical here and say i want reader to stay lol but i also dont want reader w gojo bc his hag of a mother is rly unsettling, dont think its a safe environment for her or yui,,, im thinking too much im stopping and let the worry for the next

AH JUST REMEMBERED STH!!! Cant help but feel happy that satoru's father backed him up against his mother 💛 wishing a nice future for this man too bc that woman is tOTALLY INSANE!! Who the hell talk like that abt baby trapping someone???? Damn,,, reader rly should have reported her or sth i feel like she'll keep causing trouble whilst out of jail 😭😭

Muito obrigada for this chapter, was rly a great experience (tho i felt anxious LOL) and actually it always is whenever i read something from you :) hope youre taking care of yourself and having a nice week, be well <3

satoru's father would always have his back. he's literally just there for satoru🥹 he lost his first born already, he's not letting anything happen to satoru too. and yeah, toji really got his supporters torn😭 where he's coming from is understandable tho, but in a rs, it always has to be mutual sooo... yeah, thank u so so much for the support <33 im happy u enjoyed itttt

[bi-buck-coded]

WIP Wednesday

✨Thursday Edition✨

Important note/question at the end under the cut?? Please read it :( it's important to me. Here's potential scene one to NPC fic (it will most likely change if im being honest but I need feedback).

Tagged by: @honestlydarkprincess @buddiearemydads @ebdaydreamer @usercowboy

Sara speed-walks her way to the ping pong table, almost tripping, but catching herself before any of the others can see. “Guys- guys!” she says, “You will not believe what I just found!” Her voice comes out half whisper half yell. At the ping pong table Stan is writing a tally on his score-keeping note pad while Jess and Tom argue over the last play. When they hear Sara coming they turn their heads. 

“This isn’t over, I swear we’ve never played with those rules,” Jess says to Tom as Sara reaches them.

“Well Stan’s already given the point out so I think I’ll let him decide-”

“The point went to Bradshaw.”

“-nothing. He will decide nothing because you can hit the ball before it bounces.” Tom crosses his arms and looks defiantly at the other two. Jess looks over to stan and rolls her eyes. “I saw that!”

“Guys! Can you listen to me?” Sara looks around before pulling out her phone. “I know I said I was taking a break from online dating after that catfish incident, but I went on this hookup app last night - for reasons - anyway and look what I found.” She turns her phone relieving a profile boasting the username firehose. A shirtless mirror selfie in black and white shows at the top of the profile. The flash and the phone block out the user’s face. 

“Okay so you found some guy with the cheesiest username known to man why do we care?” Jess asks. Sara turns the phone back to herself, scrolls down a little, and then flips the phone back to her awaiting crowd. “Oh my god, why did he choose a blowjob angle?” She takes the phone into her own hands and stares open mouthed. 

“I’m sorry, he chose the name firehose?” Tom scrunches his face in confusion. “I get the joke, big dick or whatever, but why would you ever swipe on a guy who chooses the name firehose?” Stan laughs and grabs the phone for himself to scroll through the phone. Picture after shirtless picture stare back at him. Jess smirks.

“Maybe it actually means he com-”

“I mean he looks good in these pictures, sure, but then his prompts are so bad! ‘I go crazy for…’ and then he just put ‘you’. ‘My biggest regret is…’ ‘the opportunities I didn’t take’.” Stan pauses to laugh at that. “What? That one doesn’t even sound right!” Tommy takes the phone next.

“Would it be bad to say I’d swipe right?” The group looks at Sara and she turns her head to look away. “As if you wouldn’t,” she mumbles.

The sound of an engine backing into the bay startles them out of their bubble. Sara takes her phone from Tommy and locks it before putting it in her pocket. They watch as Buck climbs out of the engine and jogs up the stairs. “Oh my god,” Sara mouths at the others who all have wide eyes. They stand there quietly for a second, too scared to breath. It feels as if someone could tell what they were just talking about from any sudden movement. 

“They charge you extra for the full detail?” They hear Chimney say above them. Tom holds back a laugh while Sara clamps her hand over her mouth and stares wide eyed at Jess who’s biting back her own laugh. 

“So the game was 3-0 Bradshaw-” the alarm blares, cutting Stan off, and they’re off getting into their gear and the engine. “Do you think it was on these seats or-”

So I dont really know how I feel about this, writing third person omniscient (or kind of really third-person objective because idk how to write omniscient well) was weird for me and idk if I can really make it better? I'm thinking about just switching to text threads only? Idk read this and if you want in the tags you can give feedback on what might make it better or if you like the idea of just texts, because in my head texts would just make more sense? / I could make it funnier? idk in my head I feel like it'd be funnier if it were texts. Please give thoughts im begging.

[happys-crazy-queen22]

Some Like It Rough

Gif credit @bodybebangin

18+ fic. SMUT SMUT AND MORE SMUT.

Taglist @ackles-nhl. @cbouvier23.

Hope everyone enjoys it.

Happy reading dollies

"I needed you. Where were you tonight"? Kayce sat on the edge of the bed holding his ribs.

"I was out with Beth". You leaned over and grabbed the medical bag.

"For six hours"!? Kayce hissed when you pressed on his side.

"We talked, she drank...a lot. Then we played some pool at the bar". You tell him wrapping his ribs up.

"Meet any guys"? Kayce nibbled on his lip, looking up at you.

"Not this again. I didn't talk to anyone except Beth and the bartender".

"Was he a guy"!? Kayce grunted as he tried to lay down on the bed. You huffed and put the medical bag back in the bathroom.

"Yes, he was. We hooked up in the bathroom while Beth table danced. He also has a wife and a kid on the way". You lied about two things but Kayce didnt care even if you joked. He was jealous.

"I think you should go stay with your parents. We need some time". Kayce sighed, getting comfortable in the bed.

"Why? So you can go fuck every girl you see? Thats what you want? Go for it". You aggressively grabbed your duffel bag and started stuffing your clothes inside. "You wanna know something, the whole time we talked we talked about you and I. Like I couldn't shut up about you. Beth was there ask her. Because I know she wont lie for me". You scoffed and grabbed your keys.

"Y/N, I'm sorry".

"I'm tired of your sorrys. You start a fight and then apologize. We never solve anything. I'm sick of it. That's all we do, since you got back. You need to grow up and figure out what you want whether it has me in it or not. Figure out your shit". You slammed the door behind you. Kayce had a lot to think about. First he hated being alone when he was hurt. He needed comfort. So he went to his big sister.

"So what was this fight about this time"? Beth lit up a cigarette.

"What happened at the bar"? Kayce relaxed in his rocking chair with a groan holding his side.

"We talked and I got a drink. What's all this about? I thought you two were good"?

"We were but I guess my jealousy took over. She came home looking good. Guys must have talked to her. Drooling over her and shit".

"The only guy we talked to was the bartender. He was nice. But married".

"So you didn't table dance"? Kayce chuckled when he figured out he was an asshole.

"Hell no. I'm not that drunk". Beth laughed.

"I think you owe her more than just a shit I'm sorry. You need to fuck her brains out". Beth looked at Kayce seriously.

"I'm not talking about this with you". Kayce gasped getting up from the rocking chair.

"I'm a girl. I know what we want. We want a hard rough fuck and a man that knows what the hell he wants. Not some chicken shit. So grow up and tell that girl you love her. And fuck her brains out". Beth sat back in her chair proudly. She knew her shit.

"Well, it'll have to be a slow fuck cause I'm banged up". Kayce laughed with a hiss.

"Just give her that dick good and she'll know you love her".

"Oh my god. I'm leaving. My sister just said good dick in the same sentence. Have a good night. Thanks". Kayce struggled as he tried leaning over to kiss Beth's head.

"That was the pg version. I could've gone graphic. You know me". She laughed as Kayce shook his head and limped down to his car.

Kayce knew what he wanted. He wanted you. He needed you. Kayce called your cell and nothing. He called your parents, nothing. He was starting to get worried. But he knew you wouldn't go stay with friends cause they would tell so he searched at the hotels around. Only two near the house. One was a nice place and the other was a hole in the wall.

"Is there a Y/N Dutton registered here"? Kayce asked the night clerk at the front desk of the nice place.

The lady typed on the computer. "Sorry no ones named that here".

"Can you try Y/N Y/L/N"? Kayce knew if you didnt use the Dutton last name then you would use your last name.

"She's here. Room 204. But am I allowed to give you her number? You a serial killer or something"? She was hesitant on giving Kayce the key.

This made Kayce chuckle. "No ma'am, I'm her boyfriend. We're in a long distance relationship right now but she's thinking about moving here". Kayce made up something so she would give him the key.

"Alright but if I find her in the morning dead, I saw your face and I will identify you. I'm not scared of you". The clerk pulled out a shotgun.

"Yes, ma'am. That's not going to happen though. You may hear some screaming and moaning but that's not from what you're thinking of". Kayce blushed a little but was honest, he didnt want her busting in and pointing that shotgun at him.

"You do you, boo. Go get your girl". She smiled and patted his hand as she passed him the key. Kayce snickered and started up the what felt like a hundred stairs. He groaned and grunted as he walked up holding his side. In his mind he was just hoping he was able to make you moan and not pass out at your feet.

Kayce knocked on the door. "Who is it"? Kayce heard your voice and smirked.

"Room service". Kayce disguised his voice.

The door opened and his eyes went wide, you cracked the door open in a towel. You had just got out of the shower.

"Kayce, what are you doing here"?

"Um, I, god you're beautiful". Kayce stepped in, licking his lips. He grabbed you by the waist and captured your lips with his. He closed the door behind him with his boot and your towel fell to the floor.

"Kayce"? You gasped when Kayce lifted you up, your legs immediately went around his waist. His calloused hands dug into your back as he kissed you.

Kayces knees hit the bed and he slowly laid you down. He released your lips and stood back.

You closed your legs and covered your chest.  "Don't hide from me". Kayces husky voice made you tremble. Your inner thighs became wet. The heat from your center was radiating off of you.

Kayce smirked as he brought his shirt over his head and threw it across the room. He kicked off his boots and unbuckled his pants, letting them fall to the floor. When he first came he was hurting but as soon as he saw you. What pain?

He was already so hard. He could have hammered a nail with his hard on.

"Open your legs, baby. Let daddy see". Only a few times has Kayce went daddy and every time the night was amazing so you hardly ever done it so it could be special.

You let out a squeak, your legs falling open. Kayce smirked to himself when he saw how wet you were already. He took his middle  finger and touched your clit. You thought you could have came right there. You bit your lip to quiet your moans.

Kayce chuckled, his slipped his fingers through your slit with ease, massaging your with his palm. "You like when daddy does this, dont you"? Kayce evil chuckled. You nodded.

Kayce bent down and got on his knees, he grabbed you by the hips and pulled you to the edge of the bed. He started kissing your inner thighs. His beard tickled, but you loved it.

"Mmm". You started to buck your hips but Kayce held you down with his strong hands.

"Someone's eager". Kayce was inches away from your clit, you felt his hot break on your pussy lips. You felt yourself get wetter.

Kayce took the tip of his tongue and flicked your clit. Making you whimper to be touched.

He flattened out his tongue and pressed hard against your clit and started wiggling his tongue.

"Fuck". You gasped, your hand went to his hair.

He sucked on your clit, his middle and index finger teasing your entrance then slowly pushing in. It was driving you crazy for him not to be rough on you.

"Daddy". You moaned his name and he went faster. It encouraged him to go rougher. His fingers went in deep and rough. His middle finger pushing against your g-spot. "Oh fuck". One hand tangled in his hair and the other one holding on to the sheets.

"I'm gonna cum". Kayce sucked you clit as he looked up at you, his fingers never losing their pace. "I'm cumming. I'm cumming". You screamed over and over as you felt your first orgasm take over your body. It trembled and shaked as he kept fingering. He let go of your clit with a pop. Your hand reached down and stopped his. You couldnt take it.

"Such a good girl for daddy". Kayce grinned smacking his lips as he climbed up your body. He helped you scoot up the bed. His eyes never leaving yours. You let out a giggle, a blush upon your face.

"I just wanted to say...". You cut Kayce off by a kiss to the lips.

"Shut up and fuck me". You pulled Kayce on top of you. Wrapping your legs around him, a knot tied with your legs so he couldnt go anywhere.

"Yes, ma'am". Kayce gladly did as he was told.  He lined himself up and pushed in. God, he stretched you in all the right places.

"Fuck, baby". Kayce mumbled into your skin of your chest. He started kissing along your collarbone, kissing your neck.

Kayce picked up his pace and his  thrusts were deep and long. His hands resting on your back.

"I love you. I'm sorry for being jealous". Kayce spoke between kisses and thrusts.

"I forgive you". You kissed his chest and nibbled at his ear lobe. "I love you so much. Fuck". You threw your head back into the bed when Kayce thrusted in the right angle. God, did he know your body or what.

"You gonna cum again"? Kayce chuckled as he felt you start to squeeze his cock. You let out a whimper and a nod.

"Cum for daddy". Those words sent you straight to the stars. Your orgasm exploded around Kayce. His cock still thrusting as your orgasm still fired away. He was close. So close. Your walls were milking him.

"Fuck". Kayce grunted, his head fell to your chest as he came. His hot seed covered your walls. You wrapped your arms around him and held him as both your orgasms exhausted both of you. You laid there until he went soft and he pulled out of you. Getting under the covers, Kayce pulled you into his arms with a kiss to your sweaty forehead.

"I'm truly sorry that I always let my jealousy get in the way of our relationship. I'm going to work on that. Because I know you would never cheat on me". Kayce said as he cuddled you in more.

"I would never cheat on you, ever. Especially after that. Holy fuck that was amazing. You definitely out did yourself there Mr. Dutton". You giggled, moving a piece of hair from his face.

Kayce chuckled. "You'll have my sister to thank for that. She told me what you wanted".

"So you did talk to Beth and found out that I'm a good girl". You teased.

"I know that's a lie. But I know that you want me and I want you. I was just being bullheaded. I'm sorry".

"I forgive you. Now". You cleared your throat. "How bad are your ribs hurting"?

"Not to bad. Why"? Kayce eyed you.

"I want a ride again, cowboy". You pushed him on his back and climbed aboard the Kayce train. You were never getting off no matter how jealous Kayce was or how angry you were about it. You both loved each other and that wasn't going to change.

[glattandblade]

Fluff Alphabet with C!Technoblade

By Author Glatt

hi! so heres a filler inbetween fics, im currently writing 3 and im trying to take my time, so in the mean time i whipped up this, im also posting an nsfw one later :)

Warnings: none

Hc Template by: @ magical-warlock 

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Techno usually likes to stay inside, cuddling you and bonding over books you read, sometimes you guys go adventuring together but techno is pretty protective

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Techno could care less about looks, but he usually prefers his s/o abit heavier since it reminds him of aphrodite!

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Techno would be great at this, having known how it feels. He’d learn what you need, trying not to overwhelm you and just wrap you in a blanket and hand you water/whatever you need and hold you.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Techno doesn't really have a picture in mind, but he does know he will be with his s/o forever, he's dedicated to you, he’s content how it is now, so he’ll do whatever you want

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Dominant! Definitely dominant.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

It would take a lot to piss off techno, considering he’s head over heels with you, it would take a bit to forgive you.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Very grateful! Techno is grateful for every day with you, and he thanks the gods they gifted him with you.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Techno likes to be fairly honest about everything, even the voices, but he refuses to reshare anything from battles or certain things the voices say, they don't want to make his s/o uncomfortable or anything.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Techno definitely had his life lit up, he was getting rather lonely alone in his cottage, but he looked forward to coming home from battles.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Techno wouldn't get jealous too easily, he knows you love him as much as he does, although he does have times he gets jealous. 

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

I dont think techno would be too good at kissing at first, his first kiss would be with you, very clumsy but he’d learn quick and get good at it.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Oh god- it was awkward.  Techno has never done this before, what was the proper way? He asked philza’s opinion, and he ended up on your doorstep with a gold bracelet, and asked to court you.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Techno would definitely marry you, i feel he’d propose somewhere you were the most happy (like if you liked going adventuring to x) the marriage would be great, although he was always worried about losing you.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Techno would start calling the reader Porkchop! It kinda stuck, i think it would come from phil! And also princess, hes HUGE on princess/prince, because you are one in his eyes!

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Its not obvious at all, people were shocked when it came out you were dating, he never really talked about you and you never did PDA, he likes to keep it in private.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Techno prefers not to do PDA, but if asked he will confirm hes in a relationship with you, if you really wanted to he’d hold your hand in public.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

He’s quite tall! So it makes for great cuddles, that and i feel like he would always have an instinct to trade, just like piglins. So when you got him gifts, he would give plenty of gifts back :)

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Techno wouldnt be that romantic at first, hes still getting the hang of it, but as time goes on he would be more romantic, he’d be rather creative.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Of course! Techno would reassure you and do everything in his power to help achieve your goals.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

He’d be down to try out new things, but he prefers to keep to a certain routine

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He knows you pretty well, and he is empathetic but sometimes you get into fights bc hes a sarcastic asshole and he doesn't seem sarcastic and seems /srs

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

It means so much to him. Man would be taken back to be executed if it meant your safety

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Techno gets embarrassed by it, but he loves when you scratch the back of his ears, it feels nice! If hes having a rather bad day, you guys will cuddle and you’ll just scratch his ears

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

In private? Fuck yes. Man is rather touchy

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Well, hes usually out killing, so killing (get it ig) he’d be kinda urked and you could tell lol

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Like stated, he’d sacrifice himself for you, he’s hell-bent on keeping you safe, since he's such a big target from everyone.

Masterlist

[silversatoru]

Hello! I wanted to request for a chubby reader x Levi oneshot. I feel like there aren’t many stories that have chubby readers ): As for the storyline, I’m not sure if it falls in the angst or hurt/comfort category. It would be the reader feeling insecure about themselves because they have a harder time training than the others (them blaming it on their own weight) and seeing how everyone is much thinner than them, they start avoiding food. To not make it look suspicious, they’d go into the kitchen alone and put the food away along with the left overs. The reader would act normal with Levi and he doesn’t suspect anything at first. Later on, the reader would push themselves harder to the point where they’d train on their own whenever they had to chance so they can lose weight and improve their training. At this point, Levi starts noticing the reader looking paler than usual and the slight difference in their weight. One day during training, the reader ends up fainting from exhaustion and dehydration. They wake up on Levis’s bed with him looking over them. He asks what happened and the reader lies by saying they didn’t drink enough water. Levi calls it bs and ask if they think he’s stupid and goes on to tell them about how they noticed the reader sneaking off into the kitchen with a plate and coming out without it. He didn’t think anything of it at first, but he started putting the pieces together. They end up telling Levi the truth, the way they feel towards themself and how they don’t like the fact that they’re bigger than Levi. He comforts the reader and lets them know that they’re an idiot for thinking that way, etc. Thank you! I’m so sorry if it sounds so cheesy!

hello dear!! i dont think your idea was cheesy at all, i love it actually. these kind of issues live very close to my heart, so writing about them is always really fun for me. that being said,, this fic definitely got very dark and very real, and i would advise everyone to read the warnings before deciding to read this <33

empty

levi ackerman x gn!reader

synopsis: levi catches you skipping meals and does what he can to help

tags/warnings: eating disorder, skipping meals, hurt/comfort, but it does have a happy ending! 

word count: 2.2k 

Throbbing headaches and hollow, gnawing pains in your stomach — they’ve quickly become your new normal. You see everything through a hazy fog these days, nothing feels real and everything hurts but it’s worth it — that’s what you keep saying to yourself. You’re tired of lacking the same agility, momentum, and grace that your thinner counterparts have. 

Your weight was always something that ate away at the back of your head, but joining the scout regiment multiplied it tenfold. You were constantly working twice as hard as your fellow scouts, and it seemed like it was never enough. Everyone around you was not only ridiculously athletic, but so fucking thin. You didn’t hate your comrades for their bodies and the way they were born, but you made up for it by inflicting all of the hate onto yourself.

You wonder if anyone notices your zombie eyes or the abnormal paleness to your face — god, you hope they don’t. The last thing you want to do is have to confront your feelings and admit what you’ve been doing lately. Every night you shamefully sneak back into the kitchen and pour your plate of food into the large pot of leftovers. You pick at food here and there when your friends are watching, but behind closed doors you haven’t eaten much of anything lately. Your body is running on empty, and it’s only a matter of time before it fully catches up to you. 

You hear your last name echo from across the training fields, slowly turning around to see an angry captain sulking towards you. His face was twisted into an unpleasant grimace, his eyebrows knitted together into what almost looked like concern. 

“I’m excusing you from the remainder of training, leave,” his words were flat, but there was a subtle emotional edge. 

“Sorry, what?” you gave him a confused look — Captain Levi never excused anyone from training, not unless they were practically on their deathbed. 

“Go home, and eat a big dinner tonight, your energy has been less than adequate lately,” his face softened slightly, “I expect you to be back to normal by tomorrow. Your skills and abilities are needed here, so go get some rest and be better tomorrow, yeah?”

“But, I-,” you stammered, trying to come up with some kind of valid excuse. 

“That’s an order, cadet”. 

His words surprised you, and before you could even rack your brain for an appropriate way to respond, he was turned on his heels and walking away. You swallowed thickly, your throat dry and stuffed full with anxiety. 

Reluctantly, you followed his orders and made your way back to the Scout’s base early. You grabbed a stack of fresh clothing from your room before heading to the showers and scrubbing yourself free of all the sweat and grime from training. You were careful to avoid mirrors when you navigated bathrooms, and tonight was no exception, your eyes glued to the tiled floor. After showering, you hesitantly walked to the kitchen, preparing a plate of food and bringing it back to your room.

That food stared you in the eyes for hours, taunting you and teasing you and making intense nausea creep up your spine.  Tears were stinging the backs of your eyes and your lungs were shaking with heavy, anxiety-filled breaths. You couldn't do it, and you were overwhelmed with shame and guilt. If you couldn’t do it for Levi, you were hopeless that you’d be able to do it for anyone, never mind for yourself. 

After making countless pitiful attempts to take a bite of your untouched meal, you decided it was going back into the leftover pot — just like everything else. The other scouts should have returned and been sleeping by now anyway, you’d just silently creep down the hallway, dump the food, and creep back, no harm no foul. 

Except for that a certain short, dark-haired captain was standing at the end of the hallway — you didn't notice him, but he certainly noticed you. A boiling anger rippled up inside him as he felt an overwhelming disappointment in your actions. He’d been suspecting this kind of behavior for a while now, but watching you tip-toe down the hall and into the kitchen with an uneaten plate of food confirmed all of his suspicions. 

You could barely crawl out of bed the next morning, your ribs aching and your head pounding with a dull pain. You grasped at your tall dresser, catching your balance as you dangerously swayed back and forth for a few seconds. After regaining consciousness and stability you carefully changed into your uniform, having to stop and take breaks every few seconds because you were running out of breath. Your body felt utterly devoid of any kind of energy, and you wondered — when was the last time I actually ate something? 

It was far enough back that you couldn’t quite remember, maybe a few days at this point, you really weren’t sure anymore. You’d have to suck it up for training though, because the last thing you wanted was to be confronted by the captain again. 

You chugged back a full glass of water before lacing up your boots and throwing on a convincing facade. People don’t seem to notice something is wrong as long as you're smiling, laughing, and going along with what they say — it’s easy enough to fly under the radar of your fellow scouts. 

Levi’s radar is a little sharper though, and he keeps a close eye on you from the second you walk up to the training grounds. He’s disappointed in your hand to hand combat — it’s sloppy, slow, predictable. Your hands look shaky too, and maybe it's the light playing tricks on him but it looks like the color is draining from your face. 

Things are feeling deplorable on your side — you can barely stand anymore, never mind throw punches or avoid the oncoming attacks. Your vision was starting to tunnel, foggy black surrounding your periphery as you began to lose feeling in your fingertips. You tried desperately to cling onto whatever semblance of consciousness you had left, but failed miserably, your body collapsing to the hard earth beneath you. 

The soft glow of warm candles illuminated the walls around you when you finally woke up from the earlier incident. This wasn’t your room, where the hell were you? You uncomfortably shifted to the side and flinched when you saw your captain sitting in a chair in front of you. His arms were crossed and one of his legs was propped on top of the other, an icey look in his eyes.

“What happened today?” His words were very short and his tone was flooded with irritation — he didn’t even give you a chance to take in your surroundings.

“Ah- I didn’t sleep well last night,” you lied, “And maybe I haven’t been drinking enough water or something”. 

“I’m offended that you think I would fall for such a pitiful lie,” He clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth, “I saw you sneak into the kitchen last night, how long have you been doing that?” 

Your eyes grew wide with anxiety, your heart abruptly dropping to the floor — you made sure to go extra late last night, why the hell was he still up?

You stayed quiet for a moment, pondering over how honest you should be with Levi right now. The two of you had always been a little closer than he was with the other scouts, but unfortunately there was no room for things like love in this world. You also assumed that maybe he never reciprocated your feelings because of your weight — but that was just more toxic fuel to the fire blossoming in your head. 

“Pretty long,” you sighed, ultimately deciding to be fully honest with him, because knowing Levi, he’d continue to see right through your lies anyway. 

“I figured,” He grumbled, uncrossing his legs and leaning back into his chair, “Why?” 

“Everyone around me is thin, I stick out. And, I’m not as agile or flexible as the other scouts either. I just thought that maybe...,” you bit down hard on your bottom lip, rolling onto your back so you wouldn’t have to look at him, “I thought my weight bothered you too, and also that I’d be more useful to the scouts if I was skinnier”. 

“You think I’d like you better if you were dead?” Levi was leaning closer now, heat boiling in his eyes, “Because that’s where you’re headed right now. If you truly think you’ll be more helpful to the scouts when you’re six feet under, you’re delusional. And who the hell gave you the idea that your weight bothered me?”

His harsh words were cold slap in the face, your eyes burning and threatening to spill over with tears. You didn’t want to die, not really, you just didn’t want to hate yourself anymore. 

“No one! I don’t know, I just thought, maybe because I was bigger than you-,” You continued to stammer over your words, tears beginning to leak down your cheeks. 

“It doesn’t matter,” he waved you off, not wanting to push the issue further, “You’re wrong, and I’m hurt that you’d even think that. I’ve never once thought that you were anything other than the way you should be”.

“I’m sorry,” your voice was weak and shaky, but your heart was pounding against your chest at his words. 

“I’m not the person you should be apologizing to, that’s something you owe to yourself” he shook his head and stood up to retrieve two small bowls of food from a nearby table, “I brought you something to eat”.

You watched him intently, pondering over his words about apologizing to yourself.

“It’s only a bowl of soup, so you can start small, yeah?” He offered one of the bowls to you, which you hesitantly took into your hands as you sat up. 

He sat down again across from you again, leaning back and taking a sip of broth from his bowl. You were grateful that he was here, that he was eating with you — it made things a little easier. You grasped the spoon in your hands and scooped up some brothy vegetables before lifting them into your mouth. 

“Good, finish the bowl,” nodded at you, giving you a reassuring look and lifting his own bowl to his lips again. 

The two of you ate in silence until you were finished, and then he sat the bowls back on his nightstand before finding a seat next to you on his bed. 

“Stay here tonight,” he stared at you with his signature tired eyes, but there were hints of concern laced through them now, “We’ll have breakfast together in the morning”. 

“Okay,” you gave him a weak nod, trying desperately to bottle up your growing emotions, but they were becoming too much to bear. 

Small sobs began to rack through your body, your chest tightening and your stomach lurching with anxiety. You were experiencing so many feelings tonight — eating for the first time in days and being here with Levi, it was overwhelming to say the least. 

You could barely see the captain through your blurry vision, but you could feel his arms maneuver themselves around you and pull you against his chest. You stayed like that for a while, Levi’s arms delicately holding you in place while quiet sobs worked their way out of your lips. 

“You’ve dug yourself into a deep hole, I won’t lie to you,” you heard him let out a tired sigh, “And it’s gonna take time and effort for you to dig your way out, but you’ll get there. We’ll start by having breakfast and dinner together every night, how does that sound? Just you and me, no one else has to watch”. 

You nuzzled a tiny nod into his chest, your tears finally running dry. It was a terrifying thought, eating normal again, but you were starting to feel hopeful that you might actually be able to do it. 

And so the two of you met every morning and every evening for your scheduled meals, and day by day things began to get easier. You even found yourself staying over in Levi’s room after dinner and into the morning for breakfast sometimes. Spending so much time together was definitely pushing the two of you to address the feelings you’d been hiding for so long. 

But not everything was perfect, it would be irrational to think it would be. You still have bad nights, where eating is so hard you break down into tears, and where you want nothing more than to rid yourself of the food in your system. It’s a draining process, but Levi works hard to make sure you stay on track with your progress. 

It’s slow, but eventually your face starts to glow again, your skin gets smooth and soft, and the aching pains in your body start to fade. Your war with your body is far from over, but you’re doing what you can, and you’re healing yourself one day at a time.

thank u for reading this, and now i would like to give you a gentle reminder to do something nice for your body today. eating disorders and mental illnesses are huge mountains to climb over, but taking things one day at a time makes it a little easier. try and eat a meal today (even if it’s small), go to sleep early and get some rest, take a shower and rub lotion all over your legs so they feel nice against your blankets when you lay in bed. baby steps are better than no steps at all, so be patient with yourself. n go drink some water, ur body loves that shit

[enden-k]

It wasnt In my prayer actually, but I’ve been looking for something to read so I’ll def check it out!

I do not remember the name of the fic but it was super, super rough to read if Im honest— the author did amazing at portraying the events going on that slowly changed Morax into Zhongli due to passage of time and loss of those he cared for… it had a happy ending though which is good

But Childe trying to swoon Morax just stood out to me haha. On the topic of favorite fics though, I have a couple I could recommend if you’d like, I’d love to know what youve read and enjoy. Ill read the one you mentioned when I have time.

ohhh i see! tbh with this kind of fic where childe gets thrown back in time and meets morax, i always think of "In My Prayer" bc i havent read anything with a similar theme but i find it very nice

iirc its basically about childe betraying zhongli and regretting this and the pain and wrath of zhongli he caused so much, he tries smth to gain a favor of the gods and rewind time to save him. they hear his prayers but instead of being brought back shortly before the betrayal and everything happens, he gets thrown into the archon war and meets morax. its an angsty and very nice fic and i really like and felt how childe tries his everything to correct his mistakes, realizing while dealing with zhonglis old self and watching how he becomes more and more human/similar to how he is in the present that he loves him, his past self and the zhongli he knows, and just wants to save him ahhh (ft guizhong, sweet xiao and childe being so sweet together (im honestly so damn tired of people and their xiao and childe hating each others guts thing, so this really warms my heart) and menace venti) alsooo its several chapters and still ongoing but i can only rec it, i read everything in one night bc it. just got me HAH

i dont mind recs, im just very picky when it comes to (esp explicit) ttl fics bc i dont like the weird stereotypes some ppl like to apply for some reason on zhongli whenever he bottoms? didnt see those in any zc fics i read so far so with zc recs youre all on the safe side i guess

(i already posted about my top fav fics once, it was brought back up a few times too but u bet i dont have the tag or link in mind HAH but!! in general, im a huge fan of angsty, dark stuff (with a good ending bc i need my comfort after some good pain), slow build is also always very nice like. them developing feelings, its nice to see idk ahha)