#honestav

[followthewhiteerabbit]

Feeling better, I been smokin’

If you heard me say I’m sad, I was jokin’

[crystalbaby12]

I can’t let you go

I try but I always know

I wish you was holdin’ me close

Can’t be without you I’d rather overdose

[amih1ghrn]

When you're fucked up on them pills you can't hear me cry

Without them you're sick and we both know why

Pint after pint 'til the well runs dry

If only you loved me like you love getting high

[princessandtheweed]

sometimes i feel like i can’t listen to songs loud enough

[4xplay-or-2not]

I’d Rather Overdose

I'd Rather Overdose

[becausegirlslikesextoo]

You’re too blind to see you have a disease

Love pills and whiskey more than you love me

Pint after pint erasin’ our memories

If only you loved me like you love smokin’ weed

Please don’t walk away

[no1-you-know]

“When you’re fucked up on them pills you can’t hear me cry

Without them you’re sick and we both know why

Pint after pint ‘till the well runs dry

If only you loved me like you love gettin’ high

I can’t let you go

I try but I always know

I wish you was holdin’ me close

Can’t be without you I’d rather overdose”

[alittleintense]

"If only you loved me like you love smoking weed."

I'd Rather Overdose - HONESTAV

[toribookworm22]

It's been a repeat kinda mood for the past week or so, so here's what I've had

On Loop

last day on earth by Tai Verdes

The Good Witch by Maisie Peters

Where Is My Mind? by The Pixies

Upside Down by Jack Johnson

I'd Rather Overdose by HonestAv feat. Z

It Could've Been You by Hannah Grae

life's been boring by RYMAN LEON

Now & Then by Sjowgren

[pompompinkyy]

this song pierced my heart

[doitforbangchan]

I'd Rather Overdose

Mingi x reader who is an addict

TW: Drug use, alcohol use, addiction, angst, cursing, not a happy ending.

This story jumps around time a lot, but I don't think its hard to follow.

Not proof read. We die like men

Listen along while reading for the full experience.

Can't let go I can't let you go I try but I always know  I wish you was holding me close  Can't be without you I'd rather overdose

Mingi watched you practically melt into your couch. He should have known better than to hope you'd be sober when he came over. There were multiple empty alcohol bottles on your coffee table in front of you. Sighing he made his way to your drooping form. “Come on Y/N. We gotta get you to bed.” 

You blearily looked up at him, noticing him for the first time, with a smile now gracing your face at the sight of your lover. “Min you made it.” You weakly held your arms up for him to grab you.

“Yeah Y/N” He scooped you up and felt you nuzzle into his chest. This is the you he can't live without, the sweet you. “I always make it to you.”

When your fucked up on them pills you can’t hear me cry Without them your sick and we both know why  Pint after pint till the well runs dry  If only you loved me like you love getting high 

You were shaking, your whole body alight with the motion as if you couldn’t control yourself. He knows you can't. 

“When is enough enough, Y/N?” He could see the withdrawals setting in hard. 

“I’m f-fine Mingi. I’m just a little sick. It’s just the flu.” 

Yeah. Just the flu. That's why there were scattered pill bottles littered around your apartment. Bottles with other peoples names on them. That's why your hand mirror was lying face up with a razor blade on it. Sure, it was just the flu. 

Suddenly grabbing your mouth, you ran towards your bathroom barely making it in time to let out the contents in your stomach. Not that there was much.  He stood in the doorway and witnessed your downfall onto the floor. Mingi couldn’t just let you suffer there alone so he pulled your hair out of your face and rubbed your back.

I know that you hate me and I hate me too I can't get over what I did to you  You tried to help me and it wasn't going through  I hope that you miss me cuz I miss you too 

Mingi couldn't take his eyes off you from across the club. He hadn’t known you were going to be here with your friends or he wouldn't have come out with his. Even in the dark club he could see how run down you looked. Worse than the last time he saw you, a few months earlier when you were throwing him out of your home. 

This time you looked like a shell of your former self. He watched you pound shot after shot as if it was water. He felt the guilt creep in as he watched. He couldn’t help but wonder if you getting this bad was his fault. Mingi only wanted to help you. He thought rehab was going to be the solution to your addiction. In hindsight maybe an ambush with your parents who you haven't seen or talked to in years wasn’t the answer but he only meant well. He didn’t know it would lead to you saying you hated him and you wanted him out. He could still feel your small fists colliding with his chest. 

Mingi saw your head turn in his direction. Your eyes narrowed slightly as if trying to focus when they landed on him. There was a saddened look in your eyes now that you’ve noticed him. Turning back to your equally as wasted friends you tipped another shot down your throat. Mingi hoped you missed him at that moment, like he missed you. 

Please don't walk away I'm too high please dont look me in my face  You lose faith with every pill I take  I can't be without you i'd rather die today

It didn't matter anymore. The pills going down his throat proved that. If this is what it took to keep you then he would do it. Being high with you was something he was used to anyways. It’s how you met, having the same plug. It was usually only him getting pot and the occasional party drug. Pills were new to him. 

He was getting too fucked up to notice the look on your face when he swallowed those pills. If he hadn’t already taken some an hour prior he wouldn't have missed the shame that crossed your eyes at his actions. Mingi was becoming like you, for you. 

You’re too blind to see you have a disease  Love pills and whiskey more than you love me  Pint after pint erasing our memories  If only you loved me like you love smoking weed 

Mingi had you in his lap now, the smoke you inhaled previously now being transferred into his mouth. Your kiss tastes earthy, dirty almost. There was a lingering of the whiskey you had consumed mere moments ago on your breath. 

This had become his new normal. Come over and get high with you. Downing bottles of booze until you both became numb. Beggars can't be choosers, though. 

“I love you Mingi.”You were slurring, could barely get the words out. You wrapped your arms around him, relaxing into his skin. “I love you so so much. Please don’t leave me.”

He was sure you did love him. Not as much as you loved getting high, but he would take what he could. 

I can't let you go I try but I always know  I wish you was holding me close  Can't be without you I'd rather overdose

If this was the life you were going to live then fuck it. Mingi will stand with you and love you the best he could. He couldn’t let you go again. In his arms is where you belong, fucked up or not. He would rather overdose than lose you. 

A/N; I have been thinking of making this for the last few days. I do not condone drug use! be safe out there y’all

[deepintheferns]

Tagged by @infernumxx 💕

5 songs that I have been listening to lately

(aka the tism rotation)

In no particular order -

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

Okay fuck it I am just gonna give you guys the whole tism rotation ✨️

#6

#7

#8

And the last two that are slowly making their way out of the rotation -

That's all, folks.

***EDIT***

I was called out for not tagging other blogs. 🫣

*cough @infernumxx cough*

I am nominate and tag the following --

@seabeck

@theshitinstars

@spectreofthewoods

[ceceliaclarkkk]

🤷🏻‍♀️.

@codyclarkk @leithorton @lukethorton @anastasiamartin @harperalexandraaa @topperthortonn @itsjustwheezie @megsroutledge111 @rafecameron-01 @lorenzo20taylor @tobyiscooll @carsoniswack @sarahcam04 @alexaobxprincess @odette-bex @noahroutledge19 @jjmaybank21 @kieknowsbest @itsjessa-maybank @princess-mckenna @rylan-carrera