#honestly I think I’d rate this one maybe a 6 out of 10?

[lover-of-skellies]

If someone asked about og sans, why not og papyrus? :D Gotta love that skeledude <3

Classic Papyrus gets a smooch-ability rating of 10! He’s probably never been smooched before, so kisses with him could be a bit awkward at first, but he’d be the type of get flustered and maybe give a little embarrassed chuckle over it, as opposed to being upset or lashing out

1) Is Paps’ mouth dangerous? Absolutely not. He’s got some big teeth, sure, but they’re all flat. There’s nothing jagged or sharp anywhere in sight, so I’d say he gets 2 points for this

2) Would he bite, and is he aggressive? I can’t see him ever being a biter. If he did, it’d probably be an accidental nip, and he’d be eternally apologizing for it. The only time I think I’ve seen him be even remotely aggressive is when he’s goofing off with Undyne or when he’s getting (playfully) competitive over something, but in ordinary circumstances, nope, there’s not a single fiber of his being that’s aggressive in an “I’m trying to hurt/scare you” kind of way. 2 points for being a sweetheart

3) Are there any health hazards for the smoocher? From what I can tell, nope, he’s perfectly safe. Yeah, his magic is a thing to factor in, but he has good enough control over it for me to believe that there’s little to no chance that he’d ever unintentionally hurt someone with it. He could easily do it if he wanted to, but we all know he’s too nice for that. 2 points for not being the embodiment of a hazard

4) Does he have a sympathetic backstory? Honestly… I hesitate to say yes, because while he lacks a mother or father, Sans raised him and took care of everything financial. All Papyrus really had to do was stay out of trouble. He takes cooking lessons from Undyne and does all this training, trying to show her that he can be in the royal guard one day, but Undyne won’t tell him that she doesn’t think he could do it. Hence why she’s trying to teach him how to cook instead. It’s unfair to him that she’s not being 100% upfront, and also that Sans doesn’t seem completely open and willing to communicate certain things either, so while I do feel just a little bit bad for him, I don’t think he necessarily has endured as much as some of the other characters I’ve rated have. He doesn’t have to worry about money or his and Sans’ house, I’m pretty sure he has no knowledge of the resets, and even if he could be killed over and over in various genocide runs, he wouldn’t remember it. So very reluctantly, I’d say he gets a 0 for the lack of a sympathetic backstory

5) Does he deserve a smooch? He continuously trains his hardest to become part of the royal guard, he tries his best to get better at cooking, and he tries to come up with the best puzzles. He wants to prove that he’s capable, although no one around him seems to get that, unfortunately. Then if the player/Frisk chooses to go the genocide route with things, he’s one of the few characters who’s ready to approach with open arms and a sad smile, willing to give you another chance if you decide that you’re ready to stop and be a better person. He places his life on the line, despite probably being very scared, to try to talk you out of hurting anyone else. I don’t know about anyone else, but when I read through his dialogue in the genocide route for the first time in the moments that led up to his death, I actually cried. So yes, I’d say he’s completely deserving of a smooch, so there’s another 2 points

6) Is he cute or cool? He is both, frankly. He’s a cutie in the sense that he’s so sweet and considerate, he’s funny, and there’s things people have noticed that seem to suggest that he’s always very careful not to hurt Frisk/the player. He’s a gentle giant with an unconventional fashion sense and a unique sense of humor. Then for coolness,, look at him and tell me he’s not. He’s a little bit of a tryhard, but he means well. 2 points for this area, too

In total, Classic Paps gets a rating of 10. He lacks experience with smooching so kissing him with be a little bit clumsy, and I’m sure he’d be flustered and blushy for days afterward, but he’s sweet, so he wouldn’t be upset. If anything, a surprise smooch would just catch him off guard, but that’s it

[feuqueerfire]

February 2024 Movies/Shows Wrap-Up

A little monthly (spoilery!) wrap-up of all the shows, movies, and shorts I’ve watched or am watching in February 2024, general thoughts, and ranking of them all.

Recommendation of the month(s): Honestly, this month involved me watching BLs which brought something new to the table (omegaverse, fantasy & thai legends, isekai-ed into a game, lawyers and crime) but none of them stood out to me as much as I’d hoped (my greatest wish is stronger, more coherent scriptwriting). Recommendation is try whichever concept seems most appealing.

Ranking

Love For Love's Sake = Midnight Runners (2017) = Laws of Attraction (2023) =  Pit Babe = The Sign = Mr. and Mrs. Smith

Average Rating: 6/10 [unfortunate that it’s just 6/6.5s considering I was hoping for more from Pit Babe/The Sign/Laws of Attraction]

MDL Updates - Added to Watchlist: 

A section because I’m curious about how many shows I decide to add to my Watch List a month and also the ratio of watching them:adding them.

Title MDL (year) - (date added to Considering or To Watch): initial reaction

Love for Love's Sake (2024): Positive reception and Cha Woongki is in it

Marry My Dead Body (2022) - 240202: I was watching Certified Noonas What's Coming Up in Feb 2023 and came across this, Taiwanese movie where dude marries a (male) ghost

Pit Babe (2023) - 240207: omegaverse racing show wouldn't necessarily draw me in but some Tiktoks I saw of eps 1-2 (esp of Charlie woahhh beautiful boy, I even reblogged on here which I very rarely do for shows I haven't watched yet) were interesting + lately, I've been seeing a lot of praise for it (esp that week when apparently Last Twilight Ep 12 disappointed a lot of people but had a really good episode for this show)

A Shop for Killers (2024) - 240210: I saw it on the Certified Noonas coming up in January I think? But I also saw it getting good impressions on the r/kdrama on-air threads + pocha playlist's initial impression + it has Lee Dong Wook, even though it's not like I watch all his shows or anything

A Killer Paradox (2024) - 240210: Been waiting for this since literally 2023 after I watched Strangers From Hell and saw in Certified Noonas' 2023 releases that it was from the same director + is an interesting concept

My Personal Weatherman (2023) - 240215: I don't know, maybe I just wanna see their dubcon bad bdsm dynamic. also, i keep reblogging horny gifsets cuz there are plenty for this show...

The Sign (2024) - 240215: The finale still isn't properly available yet so I don't really know how people will feel about the end but oh well, I'm gonna end up watching it either way because of how much people have been loving it

Chaser Game W (2024): Another Japanese GL and apparently it has toxic-ish workplace romance + post-breakup second chance romance yay. Also, the tweet where one of the characters is like “I’m a lesbian” *thunder* is hilarious

A Little Romance/Let's Wait for the Rain to Stop (2022) - 240219: A 14-minute Chinese bromance short from this tiktok that I saw

Dead Friend Forever - DFF (2024): I’ve been meaning to watch this since like ep 1 came out and I learned it was supposed to be horror-esque/slasher and seems like people have been loving it even more these past few eps. I’m actually so excited to check it out, I hope I love it and it rots my brain.

To Watch List At Start Of Month: 62

To Watch List At End Of Month: 67

Removed from To Watch List:

Title (Year) - (date removed): reason

None

Completely Watched

Love for Love's Sake (2024)

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Jan 24, 2024 - Feb 1, 2024

Watch Via: paid, so :>

Watch Dates: Feb 1 - 2, 2024

Rating: 6/10

Overall Impression: It was cute, the concept was nice, the early 2 eps were Very promising and last ep was touching but the middle (esp 5-6) was quite meh for me. There was also a bunch of confusing stuff, esp in the second half, but I guess I won't try to investigate too much. It has people really talking and discussing and dissecting it though, which is a fun aspect.

tags: love for love's sake

Also Appears In: Love For Love's Sake Live Blogging

Midnight Runners (2017)

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Aug 9, 2017

Watch Via: Tubi (free)

Watch Dates: Feb 3, 2024

Rating: 6/10

Overall Impression: I came in with expectations of copaganda and bromance. Got the copaganda (I mean the real cops were useless af but) and bromance, as well at annoyance at these male-led shows with female victims where the story is solely about the men and they just dilly-dally through it all like why are you not upright enough to be like oh, I shouldn't waste time getting my ears cleaned by pretty girl rn, there's a 7-hour critical timeframe we were taught about, chop chop. Anyway, they were still passionate and did it, so good job but this really was just more about a male power fantasy of being the hero and beating up people and being the "saviour" because it was just about them 2 doing anything and we don't even get a moment of the girls after rescue and like 1 minute of them total before that. I can enjoy these sorts of action movies and like a good fight scene but I think I can be really averse to using crimes against women while centering men in the show (Midnight Runners, fuckass Manner of Death). I love Beyond Evil though, even though 2 male main characters were the focus in this story where a serial killer is killing women but I think that story maybe that story 1) properly showed the gravity of the crime against the women and 2) there wasn't a scene like the ear-cleaning parlor in this one and the sex scene in Manner of Death after they got that important laptop where I was supposed to either find it funny or sexy that they were doing this instead of focusing on the fucking investigation.

Agh, so many words and half of them aren't even about this movie

Laws of Attraction (2023)

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Jul 15, 2023 - Sep 2, 2023

Watch Via: paid, so :>

Watch Dates: Feb 3 - 6, 2024

Rating: 6/10

Overall Impression: I really liked To Sir, With Love which was a lakorn and so was different than every other BL I've watched and was hoping I'd similarly love this one, which is also bringing something unique to the BL table. It started off really well for me, I thought Charn was such a fun (morally corrupt) character and was intrigued about what was going on. I liked the lesbians Maya and Rose as well ofc. However, I think toward ep 7 and 8, it kinda became very meh for me (that warehouse live stream scene not counting) because the mystery was too predictable/boring and thus had no tension, people kept making incredibly stupid decisions, and I wasn't attached to the characters enough to care/be emotional about all the wedding stuff. Nawin was a great addition in ep 7 though, so unexpected and fun. Unfortunate that the meh impression ended up being the last ones since that sticks with me more than liking it in the earlier eps.

tags: laws of attraction

Also Appears In: Laws of Attraction Live Blogging

Pit Babe

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Nov 17, 2023 - Feb 9, 2024

Watch Via: iQiyi (paid, so :>)

Watch Dates: Feb 7 - 11, 2024

Rating: 6/10 [May 12, 2024 Update: Decreased by 0.5 stars when rerating shows I've watched in 2024: 6.5 -> 6]

Overall Impression: This show had everything: non-traditional alpha/alpha relationship, racecar competitions, x-men like superpowers, child trafficking, pseudo-incest if you think about it (from Kenta's side at least), and more. And it didn't have a super strong script, there were nonsensical elements and plot holes that didn't get addressed and things that happened to just move the plot along, but it was a fun watch nonetheless, both for the novelty and the entertainment factor. Babe was a very compelling character with his past and how he behaves in the present and his relationships with Tony/Way/people in general. Also helped that Pavel did a really good job with him and acted his ass off, there were quite a few emotional moments in there. I agree with some people's comments that I wish Charlie's actor Pooh as a better actor. And his character wasn't as developed or with depth as the other ones either, like in terms of emotions I guess. Although I really liked Charlie/Babe, my true ship winners might be Pete/Kenta in a Not Me ToddBlack fashion, to be honest, with Kenta as maybe my favourite character (2nd is Babe). They gave us like 2 tiny hints that they might know each other and waited until literally last 10 mins of episode 11 out of 13 to lay out their history. They have an interesting friends (-> brothers/crush) -> enemies -> allies again at the very end dynamic where I think that they could become lovers post-canon. Really had me writing a fic idea in my notes app after my few months of no drive to write.

tags: pit babe, kenta

Also Appears In: Pit Babe Live Blogging, + my fic heh

240215: I'm not starting Only Friends already because I wanna take some time to write my Pete Babe fic and if I start a new show, I'll stop writing it. However, I was in dire need of some BL and ended up rewatching just bits of Ghost Host Ghost House ep 4 after I saw a gifset on here, then watched like 2 mins of Bed Friend cat Uea and then Eps 13 - 15 of Addicted Heroin. Man, once again, 2016 Addicted Heroin cutoff must've actually been so fucking tragic. Like I'm only rewatching parts of it nearly a decade later + watched the Stay With Me remake and still it's devastating the way it just ends, I can't imagine how people who were watching it in real time coped. How has nobody leaked it even asdfghjkl Also ended up reading chapters 96 - 135 because I was like hm maybe I wanna read more but the book is A Lot, so stopped lol

Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)

Country: USA

Release Dates: June 7, 2005

Watch Via: TV

Watch Dates: Feb 19, 2024

Rating: 6/10 [May 12, 2024 Update: Decreased by 0.5 stars when rerating shows I've watched in 2024: 6.5 -> 6]

Overall Impression: This is fun and finally I will understand what people mean when they reference this movie (although I knew that it was about hitmen/spies who were married and didn't know the other was a spy as well and that's pretty accurate). Had one of my favourite tropes of having guns/knives pointed at each other and ample chance to kill the other person but they Can't!!! Todd/Black was my original for this but then we got Vegas/Pete, Pete/Kenta and now this movie which came out like 2 decades before these other shows lol Anyway, fun but not something I will think about again + the characters aren't developed enough for me to care.

The Sign (2024)

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Nov 25, 2023 - Feb 11 (24), 2024

Watch Via: Youtube

Watch Dates: Feb 20 - 24, 2024

Rating: 6/10 [May 12, 2024 Update: Decreased by 0.5 stars when rerating shows I've watched in 2024: 6.5 -> 6]

Overall Impression: I think I liked the first few eps and the potential of the series and the possibilities than I liked the actual series oof. Since everybody freaking loved this, I also had high expectations. I thought there would be more focus on the romance and fantasy and past lives aspect and less on the cop activity. I feel like they didn't choose the correct things to show on screen. I think most of the fight scenes and stuff were confusing and not choreographed very well, and some moments needed to have more time dedicated to them or have more gravitas to them. However, some moments were just shot/directed so beautifully. I enjoyed the parallels between Tharn and Phaya or their current life and past life. It shows the cyclical nature of Phaya and Tharn's lives, and it would've been even more impactful if we saw more of their past lives (their OG life or other reincarnations). Highly doubt I'm gonna think of the characters again, I somehow stopped being attached to them about halfway through - probably related to the fact that I liked the first few eps (half?) of the show better. They tried so many things, but I don't think they satisfyingly merged them or chose the correct things to focus on on-screen.

tags: the sign

Also Appears In: The Sign Live Blogging

I’m not watching anything in the last week of February because I seriously need to study for this exam and can’t have a show distracting me but am also in such desperate need of a BL, so I skimmed some stuff.

240226: Skimmed parts of History 3: Trapped’s last few episodes and it continues to hit. agh, it’s just so good. Also skimmed a bit of Semantic Error middle episodes but not as much as Trapped

240228: Skimmed some middle bits of the Our Dating Sim movie, I really need to rewatch the full thing in year cuz I think it’s possible for it to go from 6.5 -> 7

It’s a shame that I only watched 6 things this month (and 2 of those were movies that) because I had a week of break in the middle from university. Still, it’s fine because I used that week to write a fic after a couple months instead, so I’m not too sad. And since the Thai BLs were pretty like plot-involved (esp The Sign and Laws of Attraction), it makes sense that I wasn’t just jumping from show to show.

Posts Created This Month:

2024 Anticipated Series & Movies

...Pit Babe fic

[vitaminwaterreviews]

Exo - Don't Mess Up My Tempo

This is the first boy group album that I’ve ever heard. The only other male album I’ve listened to was D-Day, which was wildly different from this in like, every way. So I went into this one with basically no expectations, and I got … Red Velvet, but male, basically? The title track was fun, I’ll definitely be listening to it more. The b-sides were all way less interesting to me. Mostly slow r&b, lots of pretty vocals, but I don’t really care for those when girl groups do it. And I prefer female vocals to male vocals.

The a capella section in Tempo was SO cool. I know I just mentioned not really caring for pretty vocals, but a capella music is totally different. Same with The Grace - they teased us with a bit of a capella, and then didn’t follow through with it. And, same as The Grace, the remainder of the album was kind of disappointing.

The question that this album raises for me: do I just prefer female vocals, and therefore I won’t ever enjoy boy group music the same amount? Or is this album just not music that I enjoy? I suspect it’s the latter; Tempo was super fun, and there are other boy group songs that I really like. But more listening is necessary. Maybe I’ll check out some of Exo’s titles, and see what I think. Average score of 6.9 which might be a bit harsh, but … this album was a slog, especially near the end. So fair enough.

- Alright, I don’t actually know any Exo songs at all. I’ve got a few Kai songs on my playlist, and I heard Jopping once, and that’s the extent of my knowledge of Exo’s music. So let’s hear this.

Tempo

We’re super synthy in the intro here

Okay, now we’re a bit more r&b

And now we’re bassy

Mmmm nothing like singing over a rap, love that

Haha the “hold on, woww” was fun

Mmm the bridge is nice, I wish that guitar(?) in the background was louder

Oh my god the a capella section is going to kill me

I dunno what to rate this tbh, it’s either an 8 or a 9

9/10, good song with some Really cool moments, but I don’t really buy the chorus

Sign

Oh woah, okay, we’re all aggressive and bassy

This is like, a good song, kind of predictable though? Like it’s not Doing too much other than that crunchy bass

Rap bridge, as expected

Well, I guess I didn’t expect that outro?

7/10

Ooh La La La

A little lofi now, alright

This is nice actually, super pretty harmonies over this lofi beat

Bridge is pretty, very Exo from what I know of Exo

Honestly, more than anything else, they remind me of Red Velvet, but male

7/10

Gravity

All electronic-y

Okay that was a cool 10 seconds, at the end of the chorus and the beginning of the second verse

I’m starting to think that my main issue is with male vocals, because I feel like I’d enjoy this song way more if Red Velvet did it

Mkay, this rap verse hits at least

7/10

With You

Y’know what I wanna hear? A ballad. Let’s hear an Exo ballad.

Welp, it sure isn’t this song

I do quite like the sonic space we’re in though

Mmmm this rap section is nice

Boy group raps hit different

8/10

24/7

Hmmm I dunno about the whistle

Yeah, I dunno about this song as a whole tbh

If Red Velvet released this album I don’t think my opinion on it would be much different

Because it feels like Velvet concept RV and that’s not my jam

6/10

Bad Dream

More of the same

If this is your genre of music then I’m sure you’re all over this album

I… am not

6/10

Damage

Mkay, we’re a bit more aggressive here

Opening with a rap, alright

I can’t tell if the vocals are the issue or if I just don’t totally like this song

Again though, if Red Velvet did this song, I’m not sure I’d like it more

6/10

Smile On My Face

Floaty and synthy

Bruh this sounds so first gen to me for some reason

6/10

Oasis

This song is pi minutes long

Opening is alright, we appreciate the sudden stops

And here’s our beat, but it’s doing the sudden stop thing too

And now we build

Oh okay, we’re like, epic

7/10

[justinmoviereviews]

The best movies of 2022

I made a list of every movie I watched in 2022, ranked from least favorite to favorite. With the exception of the last three of four on this list, I basically liked every one of these. A pretty good film year, I’d say.

I’m gonna add little sentence punctuations to some of these, wherever it’s fun to do so.

67. Blonde

Oh buddy did this movie suck.

66. Elvis 65. The Batman 64. Black Adam 63. Emily the Criminal

Weird to me that everyone liked this so much. It was a B action movie with a couple lines about student debt, and that’s apparently all it took for people to call it timely.

62. The Good Nurse 61. The Wonder 60. The Invitation

The worst thing I can say about this year is that the streamers started to feel produced by technology, but this one will stand out for me for being a great example of when the algorithm breaks. The program said people like vampires and British royalty, so let’s mash them up.  

59. Smile 58. We’re All Going to the World’s Fair

A very good movie I did not like at all.

57. Sick 56. Watcher 55. Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio 54. Confess, Fletch 53. Argentina, 1985 52. Weird: The Al Yankovic Story 51. Vengeance 50. Prey 49. Bodies Bodies Bodies 48. The Fabelmans 47. Father of the Bride 46. Top Gun: Maverick 45. Hustle 44. Benediction 43. Dog 42. Nanny 41. Empire of Light 40. Causeway 39. Bros 38. White Noise 37. Living 36. Petit Maman 35. Ambulance 34. The Cathedral 33. Pleasure 32. Amsterdam 31. Spiderhead 30. KIMI 29. To Leslie 28. The Northman 27. Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery 26. Happening 25. The Whale 24. Women Talking 23. Saint Omer 22. Crimes of the Future

I might rank this higher on a future rewatch.

21. Black Panther: Wakanda Forever 20. Bullet Train

Just so fucking fun.

19. Stars at Noon

The most curious film of the year.

18. Nope

This still feels like a throat cleanser to me, but I imagine that’s good for his career in the long term. He’s easily the most exciting director currently working.

17. Triangle of Sadness

I think time will vindicate this one, which is more a farce about society than a farce about wealth.

16. Armageddon Time

I wasn’t prepared for this to be as sharp or well-observed or frankly dark as it was.

15. Don’t Worry Darling

This movie rocked. Maybe one day people will give it a second chance.

14. Decision to Leave

No question the best made film of the year.

13. Bardo, False Chronicle of a Handful of Truths

A disaster, but a gorgeous and ambitious disaster. The antidote to the Invitation problem described above.

12. Tar

Sort of the opposite of Bardo. A tight and exquisitely made film.

11. The Eternal Daughter

A really cool idea. I liked this one a lot.

10. X

2022 was a great year for horror.

9. RRR

It’s so cool to me that this ended up being a crossover hit.

8. Babylon

I’m honestly not sure why I rate this one as high as I do.

7. The Menu

2022 was a really great year for horror.

6. Aftersun

The one emotionally devastating movie I allow on a list like this of the year.

5. All Quiet on the Western Front

The best war movie since Dunkirk.

4. The Banshees of Inisherin

Great film.

3. Everything Everywhere All at Once

I suspect this will be the movie we associate with this year forever, and its worthy, though it is not my favorite.

2. Barbarian

Holy shit 2022 was a good year for horror.

1. Men

What an insane masterpiece. This is the one I want to hang on my wall.

[some-movies-ive-seen]

We’re doing music on this blog too now. Todays album:

Let Her Burn

By Rebecca Black

Rating 4/10. Maybe 3. TLDR: Overall the songs are mostly very short and all blend in just a little too much, I could play the entire album and almost not know when one songs ends and another begins. The lyrics are truly nothing to write home about. The production was very basic (assuming professional producers were hired), like there was no pushing the limits or actually trying to find something unique apart from some poorly executed tempo variations. Doe Eyed is probably the most well done, the production is tight, the lyrics are ok, vocals fine. I’d give this album a skip. If you’re really into keeping up with celebrities and want to know all about RB then I reckon just read the lyrics and you’ll be fine? FYI this mini review is only focussing on the tracks, I’m not sending any negativity toward RB the person.

1. “Erase You” - This one might grow on me? It’s very basic though. Terribly basic. I totally get the appeal some gays might have to it, it’s very “typical long bass with higher freq synth arpeggiations”, which I think is the reason ‘Into You’ (Ariana grande) was so popular with the white American gays. The vocals are lacking for the style she’s apparently trying to go for. But she definitely can sing, if there’s any pitch correction it’s hardly noticeable (except for where they intentionally went for an auto-tuney effect).

2. “Destroy Me” - not a big fan of this one. Sounds like something grimes would’ve written/produced back in the mid 2010’s. Actually song 1 also sounds like something from the producers of Grimes earlier songs. The lyrics are honestly.. they sound like something a very young musician would’ve written. The (Amen Break?) is not doing anything for this track, it’s a great rhythm dgmw, but I would’ve gone for something else because it’s clashing too much and not helping achieve whatever serious vibe I think they were going for?? Again her vocals are ok, in the times there’s less background sounds that take away from them.

3. “Misery Loves Company” - overproduced, but somehow underproduced at the same time. Way too many conflicting layers. The descending drone thing is really clashing with those fat juicy chords, and other elements sound like they’re just being added to account for an emptiness that would’ve been better left alone. Again the lyrics… “I got a graveyard of all the failed loves that I’ve paid in blood” :\ it sounds like the only effort put into this song was spent on the chorus.

4. “Crumbs” - catchy actually. So far this is the only song with time synced lyrics. There’s a high pitched static noise that comes frequently (again when you’re just trying to add little pieces you end up with way too much noise) and it’s physically painful, it doesn’t serve the track, the way it’s currently being used. I would’ve used it maybe during just certain sections of the song, novelty is also nice. The “bad bad bad bad bad” (refrain?) is just.. man I don’t even know. It sounds like a first year arts major was experimenting in a new DAW. It’s so jarring, it comes out of nowhere and then we just go back into the normal bop vibe.

5. “Doe Eyed” - oh I like the way this one was done. Oh yes. Someone fucked up though. From around 13 seconds in, “maybe you (weird fast forward) feel the same”, I thought it was the connection to my headphones but nah. Ignoring who RB is as a person (as far as I know, which isn’t a lot), this track is tight, and consistent. The lyrics are mostly pretty good, the production is nice and simple, there are less ‘beat experiments’, whatever they add (in terms of layering etc) fits well and really helps pace the track and give it a direction. Not a fan, but this track is pretty well done.

6. “Sick To My Stomach” - oh yay more time synced lyrics. *sigh*. It’s just safe. Some of the previous songs at least tried something (even though it probably could’ve been implemented better), but this just… some “ooh ooh” background vocals, simple synths and bass. It feels like I’m drinking room temperature water that’s been left out for a few days.

7. “What Am I Gonna Do With You” - weak lyrics. Things like “why don’t you slip inside .. my mind .. if you can find your way out I promise there’ll be a prize” it comes off as if she’s singing for a carnival but she doesn’t know it. Ok production though, mostly. But again it’s just the standard drums, guitar, some vocal stacking. This song could not exist and it wouldn’t do anything to the album.

8. “Cry Hard Enough” - interesting vox. Ok.. ok…. I swear to god that’s the Amen Break again.. or modified at least. Yea this is nicely done I like this track I’ll probably give it another listen. When they repeat the chorus though there’s too much occupying the same frequency range as her vocals though it kinda takes away. I think filling out maybe the bass a bit more would’ve served it better. Ugh but then again the lyrics bring it down it sounds like parts of it were written by a wannabe YA author “the thought of myself FEELING broken makes my heart sink and I FEEL small. As though I’m stranded in an airport (?????) I really thought that you should know”. Um.

9. “Look At You” - More TSL. Sounds like the previous songs. Actually all of them sound the same.. Nice vocals in this one though. Oh nice synths, very Stranger Things. It sounds like this was produced by whoever did that flash in the pan girl “I got my drivers license yesterday, just like you said we would” etc. It seems like that’s the vibe they’re trying to go for, but there’s elements which pull it in other directions completely. Very nice outro piano.

10. “Performer” - “I’m a performer (guitar strumming) got myself cornered”. Girl what. Oh hey Lauren Aquilina helped with this too, you should check out some of her songs they’re really neat. Oh no this song is really not it. I completely understand that many songwriters use this medium to relay what they’d write in their personal diaries, but a truly talented and skilled artist is able to transform their diary entries into powerful songs. This is not that. This is like someone giving a powerpoint presentation and reading every single word off the slide behind them. God it ends so abruptly, there was no variation (mainly vocally), it felt like the same one line being sung for 3 minutes.

[casketcat-archived]

@kismetkiss​ wished upon a star !

¥ Our Obey me Ships

|| ¥ for my muse to rate your muse !

BELPHEGOR ;;

Looks: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Personality: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Attraction: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Would they date them: yes | no

Favorite thing about them: “The perfect cuddle buddy! I sleep so well when Belphie sleeps next to me and lets me cuddle him. Like... the best sleep EVER. Plus, he doesn’t mind my sleeping habits... at least I don’t think he does?”

Least favorite thing about them: “He is a tease and I would appreciate it if he stopped using mind games to cop a feel of my boobs. Just ask, I will say yes. Like... Can I get a please before you treat me like a common whore? I’ll do it, but c’mon :(”

SATAN ;;

Looks: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Personality: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Attraction: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Would they date them: yes | no

Favorite thing about them: “I love a lot about Satan, but one of my personal favorites is that he’s named every stray cat he comes across and remembers them. Like, it’s such a small thing but it goes so far to show how deep his love for cats is. I wonder if he’ll like me that much one day?”

Least favorite thing about them: “.. I kinda feel like I disappoint him sometimes ‘cause I’m stupid and can’t study. I make myself nervous sometimes wondering if he’s like.. ashamed of dating a dumbass.”

SOLOMON ;;

Looks: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Personality: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Attraction: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Would they date them: yes | no

Favorite thing about them: “Many, many things. He’s talented, he’s nice in his own way, but.. I dunno. I think my favorite thing is just how naturally drawn to him I am. He’s just.. Something about Solomon makes me feel safe. Even with everything that’s happened, he’s a safe space.”

Least favorite thing about them: “..I wish I didn’t like him as much as I did. He’s... he’s hurt me quite a bit. It still stings sometimes seeing him talk to certain people ‘cause in the back of my mind, I worry he’s going to pull something with me again. Haaa... falling in love with someone who skips out on a date with you for a hookup and still loving them after that is kind of a stressful thing. Wouldn’t change it for the world, though. I love him.”

THIRTEEN ;;

Looks: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Personality: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Attraction: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Would they date them: yes | no

Favorite thing about them: “Everything. ♥ Jokes aside, She is so spunky and so, so much fun to be around! Thirteen is so... I dunno. Even just being in the same room as her makes me really, really happy.”

Least favorite thing about them: “Hm... I can’t think of much, honestly. She’s kind of like, the ideal wife I saw in my dreams as a kid. Plus she’s even hotter than my childhood imagination, but... Man, this is tough! Maybe... I wish she got along with everyone a little better. Sometimes I worry she’s jealous of the brothers. I’d love for her to be comfortable talking to me about that so I can make her feel a little better.”

[carryonblue-eyes]

Boredom

1: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette? Yes, I've managed so far!

2: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused? Confused definitely.

3: What if I told you that you were pretty? I’d say thank you.

4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”? No.

5: Are you interested in anyone right now? Yes.

6: What are you looking forward to in the next week? Seeing him, its been a while.

7: Do you want to be single? No.

8: Did you go out or stay in last night? I was working last night.

9: How late did you stay up last night? About 11pm.

10: Can you recall the last time you realized you liked someone a lot? Yes, this summer.

11: Last three things you had to drink? Blackcurrent ribena, strawberry ribena and water.

12: Have you pretended to like someone? No.

13: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it? No.

14: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months? Yes.

15: Is it hard for you to get over someone? Yes.

16: Think back five months ago, were you single? Yes.

17: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon? Working.

18: Hold hands with anyone this week? Yes. My best friend and my nephew.

19: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? Yes.

20: What would you name your future daughter? I’ve got many names I’d name a daughter.

21: Do you miss anyone? Yes.

22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night? Yes.

23: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed? Yes.

24: Are you good at hiding your feelings? Probably not.

25: Have you ever cried from being so mad? Yes.

26: Who did you last see in person? Family.

27: Are you listening to music right now? No.

28: What is something you currently want right now? Him.

29: What is the last thing you said out loud? Thank you.

30: How is your heart lately? Pretty healthy I think, normal heart rate.

31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie? Sometimes.

32: Are you wearing socks? Yes.

33: What do people call you? Heather, Hev.

34: Will you talk to the person you like tonight? Doubtful, but the night is still young.

35: Are there any stressful situations in your life? I guess, just normal life stresses.

36: Who did you last share a bed with? Him.

37: Did you do something bad today? Maybe drove over the speed limit a little.

38: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you? Today, it was my nephew.

39: Do you get stressed out easily? Not anymore.

40: Will you sing today? I did at work.

41: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t? Yes.

42: Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone? Friends.

43: Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? No.

44: What are you listening to right now? The TV.

45: What is wrong with you right now? I need a shower.

46: What is on your wrists right now? Nothing.

47: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing? T-shirt is from work, hoody is from the Chromatica Ball!

48: What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? Neither.

49: Do you make wishes at 11:11? When I see it’s 11:11 I do.

50: Are you a good artist? I’ve drawn some good pictures.

51: Love really is a beautiful thing huh? When its good yes.

52: Do you miss the way things were six months ago? No, because he wasn't back in my life.

53: Ever been on a golf cart? No.

54: Do you have trust issues? Yes.

55: Ever stayed up all night on the phone, with who? No.

56: Do you own something from Hot Topic? I did, I’m not sure I have it anymore.

57: Do you use chap stick? Yes.

58: Have you ever slapped someone in the face? Yes. Very regrettable.

59: Do you have a little sister? No

60: Have you ever been to New York? Yes, twice!

61: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? Yes.

62: Have you hugged someone within the last week? Yes.

63: What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping.

64: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? Yes. My ex, we wouldn’t have ended up together if I hadn't kissed him.

65: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? Yes, several.

66: Were your last three kisses from the same person? Yes.

67: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days? No.

68: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? Someone else.

69: Will next Friday be a good one? No idea.

[sergeantsporks]

Gilded Family

Gilded Family

Rating: Teen and Up, Gen

Ch 12/?: Someday

Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6 , Ch 7, Ch 8, Ch 9, Ch 10, Ch 11

In which none of the previous golden guards or wittebro died, actually, they're all fine and living happily together as one big dysfunctional family

Ao3

“What do you know?”

Dagger paced around a set of circles drawn in the ground. “Not a lot. Stepped on potion, disappeared in a flash of light. No traces, no magic trail, just gone. Wherever he is, it’s not somewhere we can get without the same spell.”

“Then we need the same spell,” Hunter piped up, “Can you track the witches who made it?”

“We don’t need to,” Joseph piped up, “We saw them follow after the—the owl lady?”

Caleb made a squeaky noise. “Okay,” he managed, “Okay. Hunter and I will take it from here.”

“You sure?” Cyrus piped up, “What if you need us?”

“Too many people will draw attention. Go back to the house, I’ll stay in touch. We’ll be back soon.”

The three glanced at each other, then nodded, moving towards the nearest sky boat. Hunter followed Caleb out of the city, off towards the woods.

“The owl lady? You know where she lives?”

Caleb sighed. “She’s… Achsah’s descendent.”

Hunter skidded to a stop. “Are you going to be okay?”

Caleb chuckled nervously, then put a finger to his lip, ducking into a bush. Hunter dove after him as footsteps crunched towards them.

“Are you sure the owl lady will be able to get them back?”

Hunter made a squeaking sound not unlike Caleb’s.

I’d recognize that voice anywhere.

Darius.

Caleb put a hand on his arm, and Hunter settled back, staring at the cloaked figure crossing his arms.

A smaller hooded figure shook their head. “If I know Eda, she won’t give up until she does. And she’s the only one with a link to the kids. We had the return potion. She had the connection. Neither of us could do this on our own.”

“Yes, and if someone wasn’t so intent on keeping her out of this, we could be doing it together instead of skulking around in the shadows hoping she can find a power source to use it! Face it, Songbird, our last hope was to see if the emperor’s mind held any answers to stopping his plan, and that’s shot. Those kids didn’t know what we were looking for!”

Belos’ mind? Hunter mouthed at Caleb. The original shook his head, his eyebrows scrunched together.

“We need the owl lady.”

“No. I won’t involve her. Not again. Involving her kid and… the golden guard… was an accident.”

“And now that it’s happened, we may as well ask Edalyn to join up! We’re leaving them with more questions than answers, do you honestly think they won’t seek us out? And the golden guard! We don’t even know what he’s seen or how he’ll react to it! We should be in there, helping her do the return spell and finding out what we can instead of skulking about out here!”

“We can come back to check on him. Secretly.”

“It’s not about checking, it’s about—hey, I did not say—”

“It’s okay, Darius. I know you’re worried about him.”

“I am no—worried about what damage that little try-hard will cause, maybe.”

“Uh-huh. Alright. We’ll stick around, in case he goes back to the keep after all this. After all, if he HASN’T seen anything in there to spook him, we wouldn’t want to reveal that we were the ones to send him in, would we? Or are you thinking you’d like a petrification ceremony?”

“Please. Even HE couldn’t get out of that madman’s mind without losing faith in him. I hope.”

The three of them passed by the bush, and Hunter reached out.

I’m right here

I’d help you

With Hunter, with whatever you’re planning against Belos…

I’ll help. Just…

Darius disappeared into the woods, and Hunter shook his head.

“I’m sorry,” Caleb said softly, “That can’t have been easy.”

Hunter rubbed his arms. “At least we know he’s not on Belos’ side.”

He’s not

He’s still the Darius I left behind.

“Are you going to be okay?”

Hunter shook himself. “I’m fine. But I’m not so sure about the other Hunter. Belos’ mind?”

Caleb shuddered. “If Phillip kills him in there… There’s absolutely no way we could save him, unless we got our hands on some of those potions AND found a time pool to go back, and—”

Beams of light glittered through the trees, and Hunter pushed towards the clearing that the house was in, watching the door intently.

“He knows we were in there!” came a wail, “I can’t—I can’t go back!”

The door slammed open, and the golden guard ran out, followed by his palisman. A girl ran out right after, wearing a grudgeby jacket.

“HUNTER!”

Hunter charged into the trees, and Caleb jumped, eyes fixed on the palisman. “Flapjack?!” he yelped

Hunter turned at the sound, eyes wide, his foot tangling up in tree roots and sending him crashing to the ground. The palisman stopped short, too, twisting in the air as Caleb pulled off his concealment stone.

“You didn’t tell me his palisman was a cardinal!”

Hunter tugged off his own stone. “I didn’t know what kind of bird it was!”

The bird’s head twisted back and forth, looking at its witch, then back at Caleb, eyes wide.

Little Hunter sputtered, scooting backwards. “St-stay back! I’m—I’m—you’re—” The whites of his eyes shone in the darkness, open wide. “No—you’re dead, you’re—but if you’re dead, then I—”

“You’re not dead,” Caleb told him, “Don’t worry, we’re not going to hurt you. We’re here to help. I’m sorry if we scared you. I know you’re confused, but I promise we’ll explain.”

Hunter held his hands up, approaching slowly. “This is Caleb. I’m Hunter. We—”

“You’re—you’re not—I’m Hunter.” His voice cracked, and he held out his hand for his palisman, struggling to his feet and backing away, favoring his left leg. “I’m Hunter, I’m—I’m—”

He swung one leg over the staff and kicked off, shooting away through the trees.

“Wait!” Caleb called, “Hunter—”

“We can protect you from Belos!” Hunter yelled after him.

The golden guard twisted to look back at that, his eyes still wild, but oddly… hopeful. Caleb’s eyes widened. “LOOK OU—”

The palisman tried frantically to slow down, and the younger Hunter turned around just as the staff soared under a low-hanging branch that his head slammed into with a thump and an oof.

He tumbled backwards off of the staff, and it turned back into its animal form, flapping around his head and chirping frantically. Hunter and Caleb ran forward, kneeling down next to him. A lump was already swelling up on his forehead, the skin torn open.

Caleb tugged a handkerchief out of his pocket, pressing it to the gash. The golden guard groaned, and Hunter scooped him up. “That went well.”

Caleb winced. “Usually I don’t have to do any explaining until after you’re home. First time I’ve ever had to chase one of you through the woods trying to convince you that I’m friendly.”

The palisman landed on Caleb’s shoulder, chirping and chirping and chirping.

“I know. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to leave you, I never meant… I’m sorry.”

Hunter got to his feet, hefting the teen in his arms. Even with his armor on, he couldn’t have weighed much. “‘Chase’ and ‘friendly’ aren’t usually paired together. I think he got more badly injured running away from us than he did from whatever happened in the emperor’s mind.” He nearly dropped the kid as a thought occurred to him. “Wait—Belos doesn’t think he’s dead, he said it himself in there, he said Belos knew he was in there—Belos will be looking for him!”

Caleb hissed in. “That was… always a possibility with him. And he’s seen us now, we can’t just leave him with no explanation. We can’t leave him here at all, look at him, he’s probably got a concussion, and I think he’s hurt his ankle!”

“I didn’t think we should, I just… Do we bring him home? We could always just stay out here. If he wants to stay out, if we think he needs to stay out, he won’t know where to find us.”

“We can’t stay in the woods. If that human comes looking for him, if the scouts come looking for him… we need to go. Taking a new Grimwalker home is always a risk, but one we have to take.”

By the time they made it back to the house, the gash had stopped bleeding, and the lump had settled to the stable size of a fist, ugly purple. Mrs. Wittebane met them at the door, her lips pursed, and she took the teenager from Hunter’s arms, turning back towards the house.

“Will he be okay?”

“Not the worst I’ve seen,” she said, and ducked into another room, followed by a trail of Grimwalkers, as well as the palisman. Hunter pushed through them into the room, where Mrs. Wittebane was already working on his head wound, her healing magic sealing up the gash and shrinking the lump. Her eyes narrowed at her husband. “Not the worst at all. Caleb?”

Caleb rubbed the back of his head. “He… he ran afoul of Phillip, but… he got away.”

“WHAT?!” Jason yelped from the door.

The smaller Hunter flinched in his sleep, and Caleb put a finger to his lips. “He didn’t have anywhere to go, and we couldn’t risk losing track of him.”

Cherry shook his head. “Dad, I don’t want to… but is this a good idea? If Uncle doesn’t think he’s dead…”

“Belos doesn’t know where we are, and he doesn’t have any reason to suspect that Hunter will be in this area. Even if he’s looking for him, we just have to lay low. He’s not going to find us.”

A few of the grimwalkers grumbled to their neighbors, but Caleb shooed them away. Jason scooted in, looking up at Hunter. “What happened?”

Hunter shook his head. “I… I don’t even know how to start.”

“Going to be interesting. Two Hunters around.”

You’re not—I’m Hunter!

Hunter sat down, watching Mrs. Wittebane turn her attention to the golden guard’s left ankle. “I… I don’t know. Maybe it’s time to change?”

Jason froze, then blinked. “You said it’s your name, and you wanted to keep it.”

You’re not—I’m Hunter!

Hunter sighed, resting his chin in his hands. “I think… he needs it more than I do right now.”

Jason plopped down next to him. “What’s it gonna be, then?”

Hunter glanced at Mrs. Wittebane. “I’m thinking… Phoenix.”

A small smile crossed her face, but she continued wrapping up Hunter’s ankle without a word.

“Phoenix? Like the bird?”

“In human legends they… rise up again after they die, they burst into flames and turn into something new. The same bird, but… different. Better.”

Jason stared at him for a moment, then snorted. “That’s pretentious.”

Phoenix reached over and tousled his hair roughly. “As if you didn’t pick the name of an ancient hero, commander of armies, killer of evil uncles.”

Jason pushed his hand away. “That’s different, I’m trying to be like him, not claiming that I already am!”

Hunter groaned, and Phoenix and Jason both went silent, shuffling closer to the bed. Jason hid slightly behind Phoenix, peering around him at Hunter, suspicion radiating off of him in alarming waves. Hunter’s eyes slowly blinked open, and he stared up at the ceiling for a couple of seconds before sitting bolt upright, putting his hand to his head.

“Hah—uh—huh—”

“Morning!” Mrs. Wittebane said cheerfully, all signs of doubt or worry erased from her face, “You gave everyone a scare!”

“I—it… It was just a…” Hunter’s eyes slid across the room, widening when they caught sight of Phoenix and Jason. He buried his head in his arms. “Oh.”

“Not a dream,” Phoenix said softly, “Sorry about what happened back there. But we were telling the truth, we really do want to help you.”

“Is that why you kidnapped me?”

“Would you have preferred they just left you unconscious in the woods?” Jason snapped.

Phoenix blinked at the sudden venom. “Jason, hey.”

Hunter didn’t answer that, instead burying his head deeper, fingers tapping on his arms.

“We can get you some fresh clothes,” Mrs. Wittebane said softly, “Some food, if you’re hungry. Or… just some space?”

He didn’t respond to her, either, and she got up, gesturing for Phoenix and Jason to leave with her.

“Jason, be nice. You of all people should know what he’s going through right now. Running away from home isn’t easy, especially when he’s the person you’re running from.”

Jason’s hands twisted in front of him. “Belos knows he’s alive, it’s not the same! What if… what if…”

“You heard your father. Phillip isn’t going to find us any time soon. So just… treat him the same as you would any other new Grimwalker. Permission to touch?”

Jason nodded, and Mrs. Wittebane cupped his face in her hands, giving his forehead a gentle kiss. “You’re one of the kindest people I know. If anyone can help him feel at home here, it’s you.”

“Okay,” he mumbled, but his hands were still wringing, fiddling with the end of his shirt.

Mrs. Wittebane smiled at them both, then padded down the hallway towards the door, murmuring a protective chant as she drew a circle in the air.

She’s not as confident he won’t find us as Caleb.

If he’s even actually that confident.

Jason took a deep breath, and opened the door to the room.

The window was open, and Hunter was gone.

“Mmmmmyep, definitely should have seen that one coming.

Phoenix poked his head out of the window. He could see a glimmer of gold in the trees—he hadn’t gotten far. “We’re going to go after him, right?”

Jason shrugged. “It’s either that or we tell the whole house he’s gone with no explanation on who we are and why we have to stay secret.”

“Going after him it is.”

Phoenix hopped out of the window, running towards the woods with Jason on his heels. “Hunter?” he called.

He ducked to the side as a blast of magic nearly slammed into his head. Hunter peered around a tree, pointing his staff at them. “Stay back!”

Phoenix held his hands up. “I know you’re confused. You don’t know who we are, what we want from you. And earlier was… not the greatest first impression. But we’ll explain, if you give us the chance.”

“Then explain.”

Phoenix took a deep breath. “How much… do you already know?”

“Enough to know that you’re supposed to be dead. That Belos killed you.”

Phoenix gestured to the blotchy scar on his face. “He tried.”

“He tried to kill me, too,” Jason piped up, “But we were saved at the last minute. He left us for dead, and… someone else came along to pick us up. Do you… know about what you are?”

Hunter nodded.

“Well, our ortet, our dad, he… he came for us. He rescued us.”

“That’s impossible!” Hunter burst out, “You, being here, being this age, him being alive, all of it is—it’s just impossible!” He ran a hand through his hair. “I saw you die, I saw memories of your deaths, this is just…”

“A lot to process?” Phoenix suggested.

He let out a hysterical laugh. “Finding out I’m a copy of someone was a lot to process. Finding out that my uncle’s been making and killing nephews for centuries was a lot to process. Finding out that the man I thought was doing good is planning a genocide was a lot to process. This? This is impossible!”

A chill ran down Phoenix’s spine, and he snapped up straight. “He’s what?! When?! How?!”

“I—how could you not know? Why else would he…?”

Phoenix shook his head. “I found out that his sigils had a built-in magic drainer, but I didn’t get any farther than that before...”

Hunter hobbled out from behind the tree. “They do more. A lot more.”

Before he could elaborate, a buzz went off, and Hunter startled. “Ah—not again—”

Phoenix blinked. “Is that a penstagram?”

“Yeah, I—” Hunter summoned it, still eyeing Phoenix and Jason while he looked at the notification. His face paled. “It’s Da—it’s one of the coven heads. I…” He twisted it around to show them.

Darius.

Little Prince, where are you? There are scouts looking for you.

Are you alright?

Answer me if you’re not dead

Hunter?

Answer me right now, Hunter, are you alright?

Stay where you are, I’m coming to you.

“That’s—how is he going to come to me? He doesn’t know where I am, right?”

Phoenix frowned at the scroll. “He doesn’t have guardian remote access to your penstagram, does he? He could turn on your find my friend if he did.”

“He could turn on what?”

“Find my f—oh, titan. Did you look at your settings at all?!”

“I could barely change the profile picture!”

Phoenix snatched the scroll out of Hunter’s hand, opening the settings. “You do. You left it on. You left your find my friends on?!”

Hunter snatched it back. “I didn’t even know that was a feature!”

“What are you two talking about?!” Jason yelped.

Phoenix pointed at the scroll. “Darius can track us.”

“He can track us here?! Well, turn the find my friend thingie OFF!”

Phoenix shook his head. “He’ll just head to Hunter’s last known location. I need to take it somewhere else first, lure him off the trail.”

He might be on our side, but… him knowing is dangerous for the rest of the family.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the concealment stone. “I’ll be back soon. Hunter, I know we haven’t given you any reason to trust us, but if you know something about the day of unity… please. Let us know. We want to help, I want to help.” He held his hand out. “Let me take care of this.”

Hunter bit his lip, then put the scroll in his hand. “Don’t get caught.”

Phoenix nodded, dashing through the woods and into the town, pushing his way to a crowded square and settling down to wait.

And then there he was, across the square. Frowning at a penstagram scroll of his own and scanning the crowd. Phoenix put a hand to the concealment stone around his neck, clutching it tightly. Darius looked around again, and Phoenix held up Hunter’s scroll.

Darius was across the square in a few quick strides. “Excuse me, have you seen a teenager? About yay high, blonde hair, he might be wearing a golden guard costume, you know how kids are with their cosplay.”

Phoenix stood up, showing him the penstagram. “He’s safe.”

“Fantastic, why don’t you take me to him?”

Phoenix shook his head. “He’s safe. And that’s all you need to know.”

Darius gave him a tight smile. “I don’t think you quite understand the situation.”

Phoenix met his eyes. “I know who he is. And I know why he’s running.”

Darius dropped the smile, his eyes narrowing. “Then you know why I need to find him now.”

“He’s safe,” Phoenix repeated, “We will protect him.”

“Yes, well, people have a habit of telling me that he’s ‘safe’ when he’s actually lying dead in an unmarked grave somewhere, so why don’t you just tell me where he is.”

Phoenix felt his heart tug in his chest.

I’m sorry

I didn’t mean to disappear on you.

“He’s safe. We will protect him. You don’t want to start a fight here.”

“Oh, I don’t, do I?”

Phoenix took a deep breath, steeling his nerves. “You don’t want to fight me, I promise. He sent me to talk to you. He is safe. He is taken care of. And the people he’s with want him to be happy.” Phoenix opened the settings of Hunter’s penstagram and showed Darius the screen as he turned “find my friends” off.

“He’ll contact you when he’s ready. When he’s ready to explain where he went. When he’s ready to apologize for disappearing on you, and not telling you where he’s been all this time, and making you worry. I’ll g—he’ll get in touch with you. Let him have that space. To… figure out how he feels about all of this. To figure out how to tell you.” Phoenix put the scroll away. “Don’t follow me. I’ll know.”

He ducked away, weaving through the streets.

Darius didn’t follow.

And no guardian access suddenly turned the tracker back on.

Phoenix let out a sigh, and leaned against a wall, sliding into a sitting position as his legs wobbled and gave out. He grasped his hair, pressing his forehead to his knees as tears burned at the corners of his eyes.

“I’ll tell you someday,” he whispered, “I promise.”

[frosted-night]

Jack Frost Designs Review

Yes it’s finally his time. This is going to include his book designs including previous incarnations in said books. There are more movie concept designs than book so, let’s dig in shall we?

This was in fact the first ever Jack Joyce designed while he came up with The Guardians Of Childhood. He even comes with his own backstory! (Which was cut. Sorry Joyce posts walls of text so it’s a girthy read.)

So instead of a young mischievous trickster, we got a much more depressing story of Jack. (Jack by default is sad obviously) but this one... It kind of hits differently and almost reminds me of the story he crafted for Pitch. A dad who tried to defend his family but through tragic events was ripped from them and changed completely. Design wise, he’s a lot more tree than snow. There doesn’t exist a colored version of this so we’ll never know if he sported winter and dull dead leaf colors rather than grassy greens.This Jack has a weird presence to him, I can’t put my finger on it. Rating: 6/10 He’s really neat! Just a little too Autumn feeling rather than a blend of both Autumn and Winter.

Nightlight feels like the baby evolution if Jack was a pokemon and that's what I’m gonna stick with. Below is a more recent version of him colored.

In all honesty that one is easier on the eyes proportion wise because sometimes Joyce has ‘interesting’ anatomy choices but we aint going into that today. It’s interesting how his hair somehow looks shorter and longer than Jack’s at the same time. Could be because the longer strands float seamlessly but star boy hair physics what can ya do. It’s a little hard to tell what is his skin and what is his armor, so that is a casuality in making a character only have one or two colors in their color scheme. I love other artist’s depictions of Nightlight but the canon one feels a little weak color wise. Rating: 5/10 Sorry, get some better LEDs and then come back.

Here we have a book Jack but I can’t entirely recall if this was used in the books or not. I digress. This design looks like him still wearing very Nightlight-esque armor/clothing and slowly growing into his new persona as Jack Frost. The intricacies are hard to make out but we’ll work with it. This one is very interesting to me because he very much looks like an older teen close to young adult. His hair looks very fluffy too. Not many complaints about this one but not much praise either.

Rating: 6/10 Not great but doesn’t stand out that much.

Remember when I said Joyce had ‘interesting’ anatomy decisions? Jack looks like he has half a head here and it bothers me GREATLY. This is the adult Jack design he went with. Supposedly he likes the opera and he sure looks it. This! Exists!! Kind of wish it didn’t. The outfit is nice but it just doesn’t fit Jack as a whole. This just screams to me that it’s someone else with a similar-ish hairstyle.

Rating: 3/10 Guess he’d be the...Phantom Of The Opera. (I’ll go home and so should he.)

And finally the final Jack. This is the one that almost exactly resembles the Jack we got in the movies(Probably because it was made after the movie but w/e) but just add a cape on him. I can’t really tell if hes got a hoodie and a cape, or just a cloak+hood on top of a sweatshirt. It isn’t too important because my thoughts on this one are obvious. Rating: 10/10 Edna Mode would have a field day with you boy.

MOVIE DESIGN TIME

Joyce claims this is a design he drafted when Leonardo DiCaprio was considered to voice Jack and I can kind of see that with how his face is drawn here. This Jack looks a lot more like a warrior and less of that trickster look. I can’t say I’m a fan of the weird antenna his hood has but his sword is really cool looking.

Rating: 4/10 Nice bow and sword but it can’t save your fashion choices.

This looks like a lanky 11-13 year old who would put rocks or slugs in my shoes and relish in my disgust. He has the exact look of a snot nose kid and I’m unsure how to feel about it.

His various hairstyles drafted here sort of make him softer looking or just more of a snot nose, no in between. Maybe even an Anime Protagonist.

The top right one almost looks like Hiccup from How To Train Your Dragon if you squint. It’ll be a little hard to rate them all as one individual but why not.

Rating: 5/10 I don’t hate them but they aren’t my cup of tea.

AH- IS THAT A FUCKIN GREMLIN?

Oh wait no it isn’t he looks like a 10 year old. Whatever don’t feed him after midnight. The staff’s design of not being shaped like a G is an interesting tidbit but the whole design looks like he’s really young or like a troll etc. This Jack looks like he thinks girls have cooties uses outdated slang.

Rating: 4/10 This is me being generous.

It honestly looks like he hiked his pants up all the way to his chest. A late teen with horrid fashion choices once again. Not many other thoughts here.

Rating: 2/10 Get a sweater on or something.

This is one is very interesting looking to me. His clothes looked a lot more leather based and very human-like. The tatters, tears and frays all make him look like he was a victim of an accident that never changed his clothes. It makes me wonder if this Jack had the same death as the final movie Jack or something else entirely. Either way, this one looks like hes a mid to late teen which really adds to my intrigue.

This was another image that greatly resembled the design so I included it here. It almost looks like his skin is blue here which is pretty neat to me at least. He’s also got leaf motifs here, which from the first Jack design Joyce made, we can see a pattern here.

Rating: 8 /10 I was originally weirded out by his head but now its not so bad.

This Jack is definitely dressed more like a nature boy rather than him having human influenced fashion and it’s an appealing touch. The tiny leaf sprouting from his staff is also kind of cute since the designers seemed to want to put leafs somewhere on his designs. His hairstyle is also very cute but it reminds me of Sasuke Uchiha in a sense. (Not a setback for me at least)

Rating: 7/10 13 year old Jack is going thru a phase.

I thought this Jack didn’t show up again in story boards but I was wrong!

They look a little different from each other but just similar enough to pair together, so bare with me. The first one obviously has looser pants, slightly longer sleeves and got his leaf motif going. This second Jack is a VERY green. It gives the impression that this Jack made his clothes out of plants and natural materials. Again I’m not wholly sure if greens fit his color scheme but they sure went for it for a while. I can’t say I’m a fan of it because it heavily reminds me of Peter Pan.

However a very similar looking Jack could be found in this storyboard. It doesn’t look as green as the other storyboards made it out to be and looks more like dead grass. Which is a pretty nice touch.

Rating: 5/10 I don’t hate it but it just doesn’t vibe yknow.

Speaking of a vibe...hoo this certainly has one.  This Jack isn’t old but certainly doesn’t look very young, maybe in the 20-30 range, thats just me. He has facial features that remind me of Pitch but resembles the Jack Frost of Santa Clause 3

That being said, I wondered if him looking similar to Pitch was in the storyline of them being brothers.(Which was a scrapped thing, who knew.) He’s a bit more menacing in this design but certainly seems like he relishes in his work.

Rating: 4/10 I’d make it a lower score but I gotta give it props

NOW THIS JACK IS KINDA INTERESTING. This one looks like he’s 16 and going through a grunge phase. He’s gonna play Nirvana loudly and not turn it down even if you tell him too. His staff itself has mini icicles hanging off of it and leafs look stuck to his shirt. Did you glue or staple those on Jack? His hair also looks much longer than his other designs and I kind of dig it( Shut up I’m bias.) I’m not wholly sure why else this design has stuck with me but it just has something about it that I just love. I wish there was a full body drawing of it.

(He also kinda has the same hair as the Jack Frost in Runescape but I wont go on about that hoo hoo)

Rating: 9/10 *Bad Boy by Cascada plays in the distance*

This one definitely feels like middleschooler trying to be in a band. His sticks just resemble drumsticks to me what can I say. I’m a big fan of his shoes and his color scheme screams a hibernating tree in winter. His hair also looks like it’s covered in frost rather than it being wholly white, which is very neat!! He looks like he wants to fight but has slight hesitance. Overall a very balanced Jack.

Rating: 8/10 He’s ready for band practice

Not many thoughts here, I just found these tiny Jack designs cute. His hoodie being a jacket instead just adds to the charm of this one.

No talk to him he angy.

Rating: 6/10 fun sized boi

Now this Jack resembles the one earlier that dressed entirely in leather brown colors, however he clearly is different than that one. I’m gonna say it, he looks like a zombie or undead in this design and its pretty fucking gnarly. I don’t know whats going on with his hair but I’m gonna assume it’s just the wind making it look like that. He just has the vibe that he was once human but was turned into something else entirely. It isnt in uncanny territory but borders that. This version of Jack meeting Pitch and the others would have been *very* interesting. Rating: 7/10 Eat a twinkie Jack you’ll feel better.

The final design! I can’t complain much about this one. The way his staff subtly has a G shape and a hexagon(his signature shape) is a wonderful touch. Additionally, the way the frost is gathered mostly where his hand is such an intricate detail. His signature hoodie is iconic at this point so I can’t bad mouth that either.(I can’t anyway because there's no complaints from me here.) Although, I never understood the leather straps that his pants had or their functions. I couldn’t find any colonial outfits that resembled Jack’s pants so its a total mystery to me at least.

And I can’t go on about this design until I mention the snowflake pattern in his eyes

Pure beauty. It’s at a hue of blue that almost looks impossible to have, combined with the electric blue color of the snowflake in his eyes. The amount of detail in this movie amazes me to this day. Rating: One Great Blizzard <3/10

[theenbynightingale]

Rating Total Drama ships that showed up when playing with the generator! (Pt. 14)

Note: So that was a fucking lie...

Chet and Kitty (or Chitty): Heh. Like. Like the movie about the car- Never mind. Anyway, are Chet and Lorenzo’s thoughts are girl gamers. I’m not shipping Kitty with anyone who belittles her. She deserves better. Maybe not a ship but I can definitely see her handing out with them on a good day. Rating: 4.5/10

Cody and Ennui (or Codnui): I’m honestly all for this solely for the implication that Cody just has a thing for goths, regardless of gender. That’s a beautiful thing. Would the goths eventually warm up to him the same way Gwen did? Hard to say as they’re tougher nuts to crack. But it’s still a fun idea. Rating: 6/10

Dave and Rodney (or Davney): THE SIMPS ARE BANDING TOGETHER! THERE WILL BE NO STOPPING THEM NOW! But in all seriousness, I’m not too fond of this one. But not because of “hurr durr dave bad” like usual. Rodeny’s just kinda creepy to me, tbh. But not in an uncomfortable way. I just kinda take pity on him. Rating: 4/10

Dawn and Devin (or Dawvin): No. But I’ll say this. If Dawn were around, she’d be the one to smack some sense into this blind guy. Rating: HOW OBLIVIOUS CAN YOU BE/10

Gwen and Noah (or Gwoah): No but they’d make solid gossip buddies though. Rating: Somehow Total Dramarama knew this wtf/10

Jacques and Justin (or Jacqtin): Two overly conceited, obviously gay dudes? Unless they’re too conceited to date anyone but their reflections (which could be the case for Justin), then I’d say it makes sense. Rating: 7.5/10

Jo and Brick (or Jock): Jock is an interesting case because the show kept teasing it but not to a point where it became an arc. I’ve seen a lot of love for it and, while I personally head canon Brick as gay, I get why. They’ve got a great rapport of picking on each other, while having some slight amount of respect for each other. It’s fun. They’re fun. Rating: 8/10

Leshawna and DJ (or LeDJ): They should stay friends though. Rating: Let them stay friends/10

Miles and Sugar (or Migur): Doesn’t Sugar eat literal donkey chunks? That’s, uh. That’s something Miles wouldn’t take lightly. Maybe Sugar would be better off with Laurie, I dunno. Rating: 3/10

Scott and Max (or Mott): It’s funny because they’re both so desperate to be the bad guy, except Scott actually succeeds sometimes. But they’d definitely bond over that. Who knows where that would go but it would be a good jumping off point. Rating: 6/10

Taylor and Anne Maria (or TayMaria): If you knew nothing about these characters than by just reading their bios, then you’d think it’d make sense. But being a fan, you know that it really wouldn’t. Mainly because Anne Maria can be tough and mean but she’s not a spoiled little asshole. If anything, I’d love to see her con Taylor out of all her money. Rating: 3/10

Zoey and Topher (or Zopher): ”Do you wanna tell her? Does someone wanna tell her? Who wants to tell her?” Rating: 2/10

[percabethfeelsfandom]

How I’d rate the Gods/Goddesses(riordanverse)

This is my rating based off the way Rick Riordan portrayed them in the Riordanverse. The traditional myths have been taken into account but do not make up my entire opinion. 

Hestia:

10/10 would give my life for this goddess. In all aspects of the word, this goddess is a goddess. I want a novella of her watching over the hearth and watching out for her family and the heroes. I imagine her being a very comforting presence and warm like a hug, and maybe this is me projecting my mummy issues but I just want her to hug me. 

Dionysus:

A solid 7.35/10 for Mr D. Naturally he was a bit annoying, but we were never under the pretence that he he was meant to be anything more than what he provided and I respect that. Him caring about his kids at camp, and staying relatively loyal to his wife is always a plus. And I like his relatively humble beginnings being a hero and becoming a god and then not causing that much trouble in the series. Unlike some other pieces of shit. 

Hermes:

4/10. Mans had no right blaming Luke’s thirst for mass genocide on 16 year old Annabeth. Not cool man. Not cool. He gets the points he got because he did genuinely care about Maia, and Luke, but he lost the rest of them by having a blatant favourite (who literally caused so much destruction). However I do still like his line about family in sea of monsters and never giving up on them. Nice meaning. But he was still a shitty father and only intervened out of self interest most of the time. 

Aphrodite:

2/10. I hate how low I have to rank her. But my god did Rick do her dirty in his depiction. Just the misogyny, the lack of depth, and the untouched potential she has as a character, as a goddess, THE OLDEST GOD/GODDESS and Rick really made her throw rose petals around the battle fields on one of (what was meant to be) the biggest fights of the riordanverse. Absolute robbery. If I’m not mistaken as well, she was a huge contributor to the issues and obstacles percabeth went through and we do not Stan. HOWEVER, I love her as a goddess normally, and what she could represent if she’s written properly. 

Hephaestus:

8/10. I have no qualms with this man. I too prefer the company of inanimate objects to people and get stressed about social interaction. And I too have mummy issues. So me and Hephaestus are on the same page. Let this man tinker away in his little bunker. He never went out of his way to make things harder for demigods, and was helpful when they came to him for help which I can also respect. (Point deduction because it was on his land that Bianca died…if I’m not mistaken). 

Ares:

-12/10. This man was introduced as a bully, and gives off the vibes of every phobic, known to humanity. I do not vibe. I do not agree. I do not stan. ALSO his motorbike seat is apparently made from "Caucasian human skin”!!!!!!???? We as children never questioned this? We just went sure aight move on?! Please this man has the biggest small dick energy if I ever saw it and I despite him so much. Mans was also never helpful. Ever. I don’t think. I think Mars was better than him though so I’ll give him that. 

Artemis:

9.99/10 all hail queen of the lesbians. Mad respect to this woman. In what she stands for, who she protects and in her actions. She’s what I embody when I stand up for myself in fights and when I speak to have my voice heard. I like Rick’s depiction of her and I love seeing her and her hunters pop up in his books. Would love a couple books on the hunters and their adventures. Also I love archery. And I’m biased to the moon because I love the night so she gets extra points for all of that too. 

Apollo:

Prior to Trials of Apollo 7/10, after TOA 9.90/10. Yes it’s a big jump but my god did Lester grow on me. Prior to TOA he was pretty average. He was funny, always provided a good laugh to the plot and was always helping the demigods which I loved. But I know he’s an asshole full of himself so I can’t give him any higher than that until he had some character development, which we got in TOA (specifically after Burning Maze). And I really like who he is now and the type of character Rick shaped him out to be. In the myths he’s a big creep, and I still stand by that idea, hence why he doesn’t get a full 10. 

Athena:

3.5/10…ughhh I hate to say this. But part of it is the same reasoning I gave about Aphrodite. I just have so many issues with the way she’s portrayed and it’s not accurate to what I believe in my heart she should represent. And as a child of Athena, I feel like Rick then did her entire legacy dirty. She has her moments, but since I can’t even fully recall one right now, it just proves my point. As a goddess as a whole though, what she represents is everything I aspire to be in life. She’s my entire aesthetic of hard work, creativity, and strength and grit, without taking away of being a powerful female. Zeus’ lead strategist like shit, Rick could have done so much. But he did not. And I am thus sad about it. 

Demeter:

6/10. I have no issues with Demeter. Kinda boring. I think that’s what most of the fandom thinks as well. She just didn’t get enough screen time or development. I have no attachment to her. I think the powers that she has, and has passed on to her kids is cool though so there’s that. But in the series as well she doesn’t do much. She also (initially) doesn’t fight in the battle of Manhattan so maybe I’m slightly bitter there. But yeah, i’m indifferent. 

Hades:

8.99/10 Okay so hear me out I know this man gets so much bad rep in the myths and that’s part of why he doesn’t get a full 9. But I really really love the way he’s depicted in the riordanverse, especially with his entire arc with his kids/specially with Nico. Like literally one of my favourite quotes In the entire series is “my children are so rarely happy, I would like to see you be the exception.” Out of the gods listed here (and excluding Dionysus), he acts like a genuine parent to his kids and tries. And like there’s issues, sure, but he works on them. And since so much of the first series is about how the gods are neglectful, seeing him change and seeing him fight for Nico is my everything. 

Poseidon:

7.1/10. Honestly this feels too high considering mans was nearly If not just as bad as Zeus in keeping it in his dam pants. His points come from treating Sally like the queen she is, and trying with Percy (albeit too little too late but I can see the minimal effort). That being said, he’s really shitty in the myths so I can’t really give him anything higher than this. He’s barely a dad, and sees Percy more as an ally than an actual son or human being that needs attention. I like him more in Fanon and the way that I write him lmao because I humanise him. But I won’t lie he’s dilf material, and I still like rick’s depiction of him. 

Hera:

3/10 I’m surprising myself with this rating because tbh I might even push her to 4.5 just because she’s so consistent in her own goals and agenda, and that perseverance is very admirable even if it was at the cost of some of my favourite characters. She was very much two faced though and fucked around stuff that she should have stayed out of. Her hatred for literal children though is a bit problematic. I have no attachment to her but I admire how much she just wants a family. However she just really needs to assess how she approaches that since it’s a bit messed up.  

Zeus:

-5/10 I really don’t Zeus, his character, him in the myths, everything about him. He gives off the vibes of a man who abuses the power that he was given. And I don’t like that. It makes me uncomfortable and I don’t like him at all. His treatment of his children, of the demigods, and the way he governs Olympus. Not a fan. I could rule Olympus better and I’m a mentally unstable, serotonin deficient 20 year old with a hyper fixation on greek mythology and Minecraft. However despite not liking his character, I think Rick does a great job at depicting him accurately to how he was in the myths. 

[pxayopina-unilsiyu]

Rating Avatar soundtracks

I’m bored let’s go. fair warning i have 0 knowledge of music theory outside of stuff I learned in piano/saxophone lessons years ago.

3. The classic Avatar (2009) OST

Well, there’s a lot to say about this one. Ironically, I think its greatest strengths lie in the orchestral tracks, but maybe I’m biased because You Don’t Dream in Cryo is my favorite song out of any of the soundtracks. There’s a lot of criticism circulating around it, some of which I agree with, some I don’t. In short, it serves its purpose (being a semi-blend of orchestral and ‘tribal’ motifs, representing the divide between humans and Na’vi) to the barest of minimums and then goes no further. Holds a special place in my heart for obvious reasons, but overall, a 6/10. Had potential, played it very safe, still one of the best and most iconic movie soundtracks to date.

Anyway, if you haven’t already, I’d definitely listen to the deluxe version of this one, it’s got a few bonus tracks that I think add to it. Again, I think this one works great for the human side of the movie, just not as much so for the Na’vi. But if you’re trying to represent equality between the two sides as well as the Na’vi’s triumph, you should probably put equal effort and authenticity into both.

2. Pandora: The World of Avatar Soundtrack

I’m very 50/50 on this one. To be clear I’m not counting the Flight of Passage Ridethrough and Pandora Walkthrough as I don’t really count those as ‘songs’. Am counting the River Journey ridethrough. Anyway, the first half of this is pretty good. Spirits of Mo’ara is just a rehash of songs from the Avatar OST but otherwise, everything up to Shaman of the Souls is great. Then we get to everything after it. I’m sorry to everyone who likes surf rock, but all of the surf rock songs kill this soundtrack for me. Especially the Pongu Pongu songs, they are like nails on chalkboard for me. I did not need a surf rock version of the main Avatar theme to exist, thank you. Anyway, this one still has a one-up on the Avatar OST for me primarily because it actually has proper Na’vi lyrics in it. The songs that do have Na’vi lyrics are not my favorites; The Shaman Call is literally just the same basic verse lifted from River Journey repeated ad nauseum and Bossa’s lyrics are either nonsensical or just phrases from the film. This OST also does a better job of including Na’vi motifs and straying away from just being a basic orchestral soundtrack with some chanting and drumbeats thrown in. All in all, this one’s getting a tentative 7/10. The first and second half of it feel totally different so I could honestly rate them as individual STs but they’re on the same album so it is what it is.

1. Toruk: The First Flight 

What can I say, this one is by far the best, at least in some regards. This musical is about Na’vi, and they made the soundtrack Na’vi. The use of instruments is spot on; aside from string instruments there is very little generic movie soundtrack vibes. All of the vocals sound Na’vi-ish, and by far my favorite aspect of it is that it makes use of throat-singing, something that was originally going to be in the Avatar soundtrack but was ultimately cut. It sounds awesome, and hearing it utilized so well in this album makes me disappointed it is not more heavily used in the Pandora soundtrack and that they cowardly cut it from the Avatar one. Also! It has Na’vi lyrics in it! Actual Na’vi lyrics! A lot of the lyrics are really complicated too, which elevates the authenticity even further. Also, really baffles me how the Cirque performers have better Na’vi pronunciation than some of the actors in the film, but it just goes to show their level of dedication to the project. I love how each clan’s ‘theme’ song has its own distinct feel and vibe, and each truly feels fitting to the clan it represents. The Omatikaya’s is layered and expressive, the Tawkami’s is light and playful, the Kekunan’s is brooding and ancient, the Anurai’s is mournful and lonely, the Tipani’s is fierce and energetic. There’s not much I can criticize this one for, especially since it is meant to go with a performance/show, which I haven’t seen. The only thing I’ll say is that some of the tracks feel a little repetitive, but again, I can’t make a judgement without its fuller intended context. This one gets a 9/10; for a Na’vi inspired soundtrack, it is the best of the three. It truly sounds like it was created by the Na’vi, rather than a bunch of humans trying to imitate them.

-

Ok thanks for reading I guess! Definitely listen to all of these all the way through and come to your own conclusion, they’re each great in their own regard, I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on each whether it be positive or negative. I really hope the soundtracks for the sequels will take from each - especially Toruk - and improve upon the first’s flaws. 

Makto nìmwey! I have a headache and I’m gonna pass out for an hour now.

[vitaminwaterreviews]

M.I.L.K. - With Freshness

Overall, very impressed with Milk. There was a decent amount of variety on the album, although they did maintain that kind of soft vocal mixing, I dunno how to explain it but I’m sure you can tell what I mean. The guitars felt super out of place whenever they were included but it totally worked for me. I can imagine other people not vibing as much though. It’s neat to see the “change up” in this album; Seo Taiji did similar things, but Milk are no Seo Taiji. Average score of 6.8 which feels about right. It was good, there were good parts, but as a whole I wouldn’t say the album was anything super special.

Crystal

Cracked up at the “don’t worry bout it” after that intro

The actual sound is very … well, crystal

MV is … bad CGI lol

Love the autotune, I think it’s used well here. Not bon bon chocolat, a lot more restraint

I have no idea where the chorus is or what the hooks are, but i love the vibe

The rap sections are wild. Male vocals mixed in there, with singing overtop? Nice

Are those baby noises? Cat noises?

8/10, honestly very impressed. Sounds a bit like S.E.S., but still fresh. Granted, I only know three S.E.S. songs, but still.

Come To Me

Intro is similar vibes to Crystal

Nice slow jam feel after the intro. The vocals are soft, harmonies, same with Crystal actually

Synth break at 1:08, that’s cool. I don’t think the instrumental does enough to justify it though

5/10, didn’t do much to impress me, felt very S.E.S., safe and boring. But I’m never a huge fan of this style of music anyway so oh well

Sad Letter

The synth here reminds me of this one flash game that I used to play in 2006. I can’t even remember the name of the game or what it’s about but that synth sound 100% sounds like that one game and now my memory is straining trying to figure out wtf that game was

Anyway, as you can tell by my comments, this isn’t it for me either

6/10

Blind Love

HOLY SHIT WE GOT SOME FUNK GOING ON

Okay I wish it was funkier throughout though. It’s like the vocals are necessarily mixed softly

Also is it just me or do they keep saying “danger zone”?

Yeah, more grit on the vocals. You don’t need pretty harmonies in funk, the bass is trying to carry here but I want more rap, more sax, more mph

7/10

All My Love For You

Wait what is this, ‘Cause I’m Your Girl?

WAIT WE GOT THE NMIXX CHANGE UP AT 1:40 wtff

Also whats with the random unnamed male rappers? This is like the third song where that’s happened

Oh my god though I can’t get over the change up, 

That high note at 2:32 is literally ‘Cause I’m Your Girl, also so is the male doing part of the rap

7/10, I liked it a lot but it was like an S.E.S. imitation and that felt weird

I Want You

Harry Potter intro

Or maybe it’s Dreams Come True at this rate

Actually no, now that we’ve settled into it, I think I like where this going

HOLY SHIT THAT BASS

Ughhh the bass is actually carrying this so hard

And the guitar solo like wtf

This bridge is really forced. The return to the chorus sucked too

Background guitar is fun

8/10 but could be 7. I definitely liked it more than I disliked it

Secret

This intro is cool, we like string beats

This bass sounds like something out of Phineas and Ferb

I’m not convinced by any of this, it feels like the producer got their hands on a Logic sample library for the first time and made a song with random samples

Oh that false ending was cool, that actually got me

7/10, could be 8

Reason

Mmmm we love synthesized flute samples

I’m really impressed by the bass lines in all of these, they’re a lot more interesting than most modern kpop bass

The chorus hit but I was too busy writing the previous comment to pay attention

2:30 is really cool, I like the instrumental break with this selection of instruments

Yeah, I think I like this

8/10, if one of my faves released this I’d be all over it

Wish

Again, the slow jam stuff isn’t really my vibe

I do appreciate the harmonies

5/10, not my style, but I’m sure there are people who would enjoy this

She Never…

Intro is impressing me

Chorus, not so much

Okay, that rap break though. Another nmixx moment

I really vibe with the harmonies on top of the rap break, they do that a lot, that’s nice

The rest of this song is just not interesting enough to justify that good of a rap break

7/10

Stay With Me

Mmm groovy drums

Groovy bass, synths, vocal samples

The post-chorus measures tend to be more interesting than the chorus

The chorus is like, the least interesting part of these songs. I like the instrumentals, and the raps when they happen, but the choruses just aren’t catchy to me

6/10 purely for the samples

Good Time

Again, strong intro

This bass is actually so good

THERE’S THAT SYNTH AGAIN

Is that guitar in the background before the chorus?

Bringing back the autotune flourishes

Here’s the guitar again, good stuff

Haha the bridge here, nice and distorted, lofi

Cracked up as it led into the rap break I’m crying

This feels like the culmination of everything this album has to offer, I like it a lot

8/10

[rivers-rambles21]

The one with the road trip

Part 15 of The one where Bucky has a cute neigbour series!

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader (f)

Warnings | 18+ only  - no smut but mentions of it

Chapter 15 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 1 | Masterlist

Apologies for any mistakes, this has been written on my phone and its a bit difficult to edit. Once I’m back with a working laptop I’ll give it a once over :)

Bucky had intended on renting a bike so you could ride down to Louisiana but with Sam’s suit it would’ve been an impossible feat. 

He settled for hiring an SUV and added you both to the insurance so you could take it in turns driving on the long trip down south. 

“Been together one day and we’re already on our first trip” You teased as you rested your feet on the dash, taking in the scenery as Bucky drove. His metal hand gripped the steering wheel as he peaked a glance over to your bare legs, resisting the urge to pull over. 

“You’re the one having a mid life crisis doll not me” You feigned offense and swatted the soldier beside you, pleased to get a hit in as he tried to dodge your attack. His eyes remained on the road as he grasped your hand in his. “Less of that thank you” He laughed, bringing your hand to his lips, leaving a kiss on the back before giving it back to rest on your thigh, his hand not leaving yours. 

“Looking forward to seeing Sam again?” He didn’t respond but his face said it all. “You’re so dramatic” You chuckled as you leant down to root around in your bag for the road trip snacks. Retrieving a bag of cashews, you offered it to Bucky who gladly took a handful. 

“I just know he’s going to ask a billion questions about stuff we’ve not even discussed yet, that we’re probably not even ready to talk about. He didn’t stop asking about you y’know? Y/n this, Y/n that…he kept threatening to ask you out.” 

“Oh he did” 

The car swerved slightly as Bucky's grip on the wheel tightened, his concentration lapsing for a split second. 

“He did what?” He asked, tearing his eyes from the road to glance over at you. 

“It was just a bit of harmless flirting-” You began before being cut off. 

“We flirted.” Bucky stated, his jaw clenching. 

“We also did a lot of things just friends don’t do. Relax Sarge, he only asked to get a reaction out of me.” 

Bucky grunted in response, knowing his reaction was a tad over the top but he couldn’t help it. You were his. 

“We could always mess with him in return.” You pondered as you took a swig of your drink. “Maybe hold off on telling him about us, it’s only meant to be a flying visit anyway isn’t it? So we wouldn’t have to pretend for long… play him at his own game?” 

Bucky smirked in response, completely on board with your little plan.

  The next few hours passed with the typical car games and a quick power nap as Bucky continued driving. 

“How long until you start at Starks?” 

“A month thank god, the GRC wanted me gone pretty quickly, I didn't have to work my notice which was a blessing really. I’ll schedule a day to go and clear out my desk and say my goodbyes. Will you still get your pension if we live out of the country?” 

“I’m not sure to be honest, I can pick up work wherever we are though, it wouldn’t be the first time. I’m good with my hands” 

“You’re telling me” You muttered under your breath. Bucky heard you loud and clear and let out a laugh as he recalled how you spent most of last night. “Are we crazy? Travelling with no plan, barely any money and only just starting out as a couple?” 

“Oh absolutely”

Eventually Bucky took a break from driving after you stopped for food in a roadside diner. It had been a while since you’d driven but you wanted to give Bucky the chance to get some sleep, something you knew he still struggled with. 

Despite telling him to try and get some sleep on the back seats, he remained upfront with you, doing his best to battle the drowsiness that had overcome him. He’d not gotten much rest the past few weeks, from battling the Flag Smashers in Europe, to hunting down Zemo and then back to New York. In truth he was worried he’d have a nightmare and wasn’t sure on how he’d react but upon your insistence, he tried to get some shut eye. After an hour or so he dropped off, the sound of you humming along to a song on the radio sending him off into a dreamless sleep. 

Bucky couldn’t quite believe it, he couldn’t remember the last time he slept without being haunted by memories of the Winter Soldier. Granted, he only got four hours of sleep , but it was the best he’d felt in a long time.

When it came to your turn to get some shut eye Bucky insisted on stopping over in a hotel for the night. You’d tried to convince him a motel would suffice after you lost the battle of you sleeping in the car but he was victorious. 

To be frank, after spending so many hours in the car, you were grateful to be sleeping in a bed with your super soldier by your side. 

As you slept, Bucky took the time to fire off a few emails advising he’d be ending his lease. Having slept earlier, he felt energised and was content in browsing the internet as you slept tucked into his arm. 

He did his best not to wake you as he opened a selfie from Shuri of her with Ayo and Nomble, a chuckle escaping his lips as Shuri and Nomble looked to be thoroughly enjoying themselves on a boat trip in New York whilst Ayo sulked in the background. 

He also replied to an email from his therapist's office, letting them know he’d be absent from his next session but planned on returning the following week.

Bucky was tempted to let Sam know he was coming but thought it best to surprise him.

The next day was much of the same, both of you switching the drive and stopping off at diners for food. Due to the lack of respect Bucky had for the speed limit, you were making good time and would be in Delacroix the following morning. 

“-it was like I didn’t exist. Honestly it was the most humbling experience of my life” 

“Sergeant Barnes in his uniform… now that is something I’ve got to see.” 

“Maybe one day”  

Your eyebrow perked at the thought. “Good god man” You groaned dramatically and sank further into your seat, giggling as you caught sight of the blush covering his cheeks. “For what it’s worth, lack of nutrients from the rationing clearly messed with her eyesight.” You were genuinely baffled how Peggy didn’t swoon for the man next to you.

“Where were you in the 40’s when I needed you huh?” 

“I doubt I’d have been your type” 

“Intelligent, strong woman with a great sense of humor? And thats not even mentioning your ass.. Oh no, definitely not my type” He replied sarcastically. 

“Ha ha fine, I’ll take your word for it.” 

“I’d have taken you dancing, maybe gone to a show or even the carnival. Anything you wanted.” He took your hand in his again and kissed the back of it as he pondered just how he’d of won you over back then. He usually didn't like to dwell on life before the war, the pain of losing his family and the future he lost was too much but having you in his life somehow made the memories hurt less. Having you with him now along with the future he could picture with you helped him make peace with his past life and accept that it wasn’t something he could ever go back to. 

When Steve was returning the stones, he did wonder whether he should go back with him but the realisation that there wasn’t anything waiting for him apart from a time that he didn't belong to made his decision to remain in the present resolute. And by god was he thankful he stayed.

On your way to your final hotel before arriving at Sams, you’d taken over the driving and had kept Bucky entertained with your off key singing and terrible car games. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me” As it turns out, Bucky was a sore loser. 

“What? It counts!!” 

“You cannot see bacteria Y/N” 

“Yes I can! It’s right...right… right there!” You pointed to a random bit of the car interior and held back a laugh at a clearly unamused Bucky.

“You’re so full of shit” 

“How do you know I can’t see it huh? Guess it’s my turn again, I spy with my little -” 

“No” He cut off as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Absolutely not. I’m going to choose a game.” 

You let out a little smile and continued focusing on the road until the super soldier landed on something he liked. 

“Okay okay, would you rather sounds fun. Doll, would you rather have the superpower of being invisible or ability to fly.” 

“Aw come on Buck these are tame! If I have to answer, without a doubt invisibility.” 

“Not dirty enough for you sweetheart?” A tingle rang down your spine at your new nickname. “I’d have to agree, invisibility easily.” 

“Buck you’re an actual superhero, you’ve already got powers, leave some for us mere mortals!” 

“... you think I’m a superhero?” 

“....you’re literally an Avenger.” You reached across towards the man beside you, keeping your eyes on the road as you pressed your hand against his forehead. “Are you feeling okay?” 

Bucky rolled his eyes at your sarcasm and swatted your hand away from his head. “Fine you made your point.” 

You shook your head as you returned your hand to the steering wheel, tapping away to the song on the radio. 

“The rest of these questions are boring” He muttered as he furiously scrolled through his cell. 

“C’mon, go R rated” 

“It’s no fun when I already know the answers to these!” 

“Pfft doubtful, come on, hit me” 

“Spit or swallow, you’re a swallower doll.See?” 

“Okay okay! You’re right, I give in. How about we just ask each other some questions?” 

“But you already know everything,” He remarked, throwing a few cashews into his mouth. 

“When did you first see me as someone other than a friend?” You’d thrown him off guard with that question, his hand stuck in mid air as he went to throw more snacks into his mouth. 

“Wouldn't you rather know my most embarrassing sexual encounters?” He offered but was met with silence. “Fine……. I’ve never seen you as just a friend. Yes we were friends before we became more and honestly Y/n if it never progressed further than just friendship I would’ve been fine with it, more than fine with it y’know? Meeting you was the best fucking thing-” “Buck, it’s okay” Your hand reached out towards him and squeezed his thigh as you kept your eyes on the road. 

“There’s more… before we officially met in the lobby when that creep wouldn’t leave you the fuck alone, I’d seen you around. I was coming back from lunch with Yori and he was complaining about having gone for burgers instead of our usual and there you were, headphones in completely oblivious to the world and searching for your keys in your purse as usual. You were just so carefree - everything I wanted to be. And then a couple of days later we met and I was a goner.”

You bit your lip as you fought back a smile, overwhelmed by his honesty. It was a welcome feeling, knowing you weren’t the only one that felt an attraction almost immediately. 

“I’d seen you around too, before we officially met I mean. It’s kind of hard to miss you” You chuckled as you snuck a glimpse over at him and found him doing his usual glare. “It was pretty early on for me as well, do you remember when we went for coffee?” 

“And you ordered us two cups of sugar? Yeah I remember” 

“Mocha Latte’s aren’t bad for you… they just give you a bit of a buzz” 

“Especially if you order extra cream…” 

“Anyway! I’ve always been attracted to you, I’m not blind y’know but after seeing this dark looming strong man consume a drink like that, and have some residue cream left on his lower lip mind you, I just knew that it was more than just a crush. There’s something oddly charming and attractive about seeing someone so intimidating be so soft. It’s like I’m the only one who gets to see that side of you and I love it” 

Bucky didn't quite know what to say, he was slightly flustered at the compliments you were throwing at him and by the knowledge that you’d been interested far earlier than he had ever dreamed of. 

“We’re idiots aren’t we? For not realising sooner.” 

“Oh without a doubt”

Tag list:

@iamtheonewhocares @indigo123789 @xpurpleglitter

If you want to be added drop me a message

[wangxianficrecs]

Follower Recs

Stories I haven’t read yet, but clearly need to put on my ever-expanding List.

~*~

Welcome back queen [Thank you, it’s so lovely to be back!] if ur still doing follower recs I gotta recommend I would wait for a thousand years by bleuett it’s soooooooo good

[This one was actually recced to me by two different people, the other of whom said, “ Maybe I'm crying a little so I feel like a should recommend ‘I would wait for a thousand years’ by bleuett on ao3.”]... it’s def. on my List!

I would wait for a thousand years

by bleuett (T, 10k, wangxian)

Summary:  During the worst of winter, a traveler comes to stay at Lan Wangji's inn. He wears a red ribbon in his hair.

“Do you see the rabbit?” Wei Ying asks and points at the moon. “That’s the moon rabbit, he helps make Chang’e more immortality elixir. He keeps Chang’e company.”

“I do not wish the rabbit for company,” Lan Wangji says tightly. “You are the one I want by my side.”

“And I’m here, Lan Zhan. If you go to the moon, I’ll follow you, I’ll always be here now.”

~*~

I just read a great fic by aisthuu "every love story is a ghost story", didn't see it in your recs so wanted to recommend it! LWJ is a guqin composer and teacher, buys a cheap guqin off eBay which ends up being attached to WWX's spirit from canon era. It's bittersweet, LWJ deals with Lan's homophobia (implicit in a Lan way) and his feelings towards the ghost. This is author's only ao3 fic and honestly I don't remember how I stumbled upon it, but I'm happy I did and hope you will enjoy it too!  [I’ve recently read this one, and loved it!]

every love story is a ghost story

by aisthuu (M, 59k, wangxian, my bookmark)

Summary:  The man is in Lan Zhan’s bed. Did they—he begins to wonder, eyes trailing to where the man’s body lies under the blanket. Had Lan Zhan—?

Then the sleep-fog clears and Lan Zhan realizes that the young man isn’t quite opaque around the edges.

“You’re a spirit.”

The spirit narrows its eyes. “I’m so much more than that.”

(Lan Zhan buys a guqin off eBay for a suspiciously low price, only to find that it’s haunted. And now there’s a ghost in his bed.)

~*~

Ok so I absolutely have to rec "see you yesterday" by glyphic. It's a wip, but it's currently at 101k so there's a whole lot there, and it's terrible and wonderful and beautiful all at once. The way the backstory of canon events is adapted to the modern-with-cultivation setting is brilliant, and then there's the amnesia, and then there's the time loop. This fic lives permanently rent-free in my brain.

see you yesterday

by glyphic (M, 101k, wangxian, WIP)

Summary:  

Wei Ying 21:09 hey lan zhan what’s the weirdest way youve died

Lan Zhan 21:11 Falling encyclopedias.

Wei Ying 21:12 omg no way that’s so rude turning books against you???

Lan Zhan 21:13 A betrayal I will never forget.

On Halloween night, an exiled demonic cultivator and a Lan disciple get stuck in a time-loop, find each other, and try to figure it all out.

~*~

If you are looking for recs for yourself I absolutely love (the complete!) story Just as the Snow Melts by draechali on AO3. It's a canon divergence where everyone lives, even WWX! ~ @airmidcelt

Just as the Snow Melts

by draechaeli (T, 67k, wangxian)

Summary:  Like a snowy mountain top in spring the residents of the Burial Mounds trickled down the mountain and joined the flow of society.

“I went to the Burial Mounds,” Lan WangJi said.

“Ah, yeah… I’m sorry Lan Zhan,” replied Wei WuXian, “I hadn’t thought anyone would come to visit. I am still not sure how it happened; I brought A-Yuan to Yiling to play by the river and then ended up somehow teaching a bunch of children swimming and writing along with him.”

~*~

Hello! It's come to my attention that you have not as yet read Grandmaster of Meme-onic Cultivation! Please do! It's the only thing that gave me joy during 2020 😆 like proper belly laughs and disney villain style cackling. It is a wip, and it is long but so so worth it!! The author has reworked the entire canon through these message crystals and still conveys complex characters despite the tricky format. It's just so good!! Highly highly recommend it! ❤ ~ @theladypeartree  [Oh!  I’ve been subscribed to this one, and know that @swaglexander-the-great is a reliable provider of Hilarity, so I’m excited for it to be finished!]

Grandmaster of Meme-onic Cultivation 

by Hades_the_Blingking (T, 49k, wangxian, WIP)

Summary:  The Untamed universe is exactly the same, except everybody has magical crystals that have a suspiciously familiar messaging system. The story is pretty much the same as the show, except everyone lives!! (so minor changes).

or in which Wei WuXian tries his darndest to date Lan Zhan, Jiang Cheng possibly has a aneurysm, Jin ZiXuan is still the most awkward human alive, and Xue Yang makes me write some VERY cursed things. Written in chatfic format! :3

~*~

Chomrafy on AO3 deserves love and encouragement; she’s written a body of compact, poetic, and eloquent shortfics each of which can stand alone, but that comprise an intricately cross-referential and mostly internally-consistent universe. They’re grouped as chapters in works according to theme; for example, “in cupped hands” focuses upon Jin Ling and his second-generation baggage; “Departure in Autumn” portrays the last years of WWX’s first life. Follow the tag “Chomrafy’s MDZS shortfics.” [I don’t see this tag?]

in cupped hands

by chomrafy (G, 2k, wangxian)

Summary:  Of secrets, of futures, of love. A Jin Ling-centric collection of 200-word fics.

Ch.1: Jin Ling repays a debt (JL, JC, & WWX). Ch.2: Jin Ling and a ghost in the mirror. (JL & JYL) Ch.3: A matter of friends (JL & the other kids) Ch.4: In this house we don't keep dogs (JC & WWX) Ch.5: In the end, he remains silent (JL & uncles) Ch.6: A first night hunt, of sorts (JL & the other kids) Ch.7: Jin Ling, forgiving, forgetting (JL & LXC & JGY) Ch.8: Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling argue (JL, JC, & WWX) Ch.9: Jin Ling and his father (JL & JC) Ch.10: Jin Ling speaks up (JL, JC, & WWX) Ch.11: Jin Ling and a piece of home (JL, JC, & WWX)

Departure in Autumn

by chomrafy (not rated, 6k)

Summary:  Four perspectives. A steady march to the end.

Ch.1: Because if anything happens to them, Wen Qing would never be able to heal with these hands again. Ch.2: As long as this is still home, Jiang Yanli will wait as long as she needs to. Ch.3: Five times Jiang Cheng reaches for Wei Wuxian, one time he turns away. Ch.4: Whether the road is broad or narrow, bright or dark, they would have to keep walking. Wei Wuxian digs Wen Qing's grave.

~*~

Hello, hope all is going well. I don't have an ask, by I do have a recommendation. I read this fic a while ago and found it again. I just wanted to recommend this for everyone. Let me know what you think please. Thank you. [Oh!  This one’s in my To Read list, but  I’d forgotten about it.  Mmmm, fox!wwx and dragon!lwj.]

Ten miles of Lotus Flowers

by Yukirin_Snow

M, 274k, wangxian

Summary:  He was a mischievous fox spirit, wreaking havoc where he went, about to depart on a journey that would span centuries.

He was a heavenly prince, a proud dragon destined to ascend the throne to become emperor.

Neither expected their paths to collide over the span of three lives.

~*~

I forgot if it was your blog 😥 that recommended “Bestseller” (when Wei Wuxian writes the Xianxia cut-sleeve equivalent of Fifty Shades of Grey, based entirely on his experiences with Lan Wangji, he doesn’t expect it to become the next big hit) (https://archiveofourown.org/works/21528316/chapters/51318766)

But OMG IT WAS HILARIOUS!!! I LOVED IT!! And if it wasn’t your blog, I’m so sorry for how weird this sounds 😭😭😭😭 I just loved this fic so much that I have to tell it to someone 😢 [It’s on my List, but I haven’t read it yet!]

Bestseller

by pupeez4eva

M, 8k, wangxian

Summary:  He had written the book to prove a point. It was never supposed to be a big thing, and he certainly never intended for everyone — Jiang Cheng, Zewu-Jun, the Juniors, literally everyone— to be reading about his sex life.

Oh God, he definitely needed to make sure Lan Zhan didn’t find out about this.

(Or, when Wei Wuxian writes the Xianxia cut-sleeve equivalent of Fifty Shades of Grey, based entirely on his experiences with Lan Wangji, he doesn’t expect it to become the next big hit).

~*~

I’d like to rec On Your Marks, Get Set, Bake! by @blackwiresgrowonherhead

It’s one of my absolute favorites and I laughed out loud so many times when reading it

on your marks, get set, bake!

by BlackWiresOnHerHead

G, 41k, wei wuxian & juniors

Summary:  Jin Ling resumes thumping on the door to room 721, and the small collection of freshmen starts chanting “Senior Wei! Senior Wei! Senior Wei!” with increasing volume until finally Wei Wuxian opens the door.

“Yes?” he says with his widest, most innocent eyes.

“Senior Wei!” demands Lan Jingyi, shoving himself to the front of the group. “Why didn’t you tell us you’re a contestant on this year’s season of The Great Gusu Bake Off?!?”

--

Several months ago, college student Wei Wuxian secretly competed in the most popular reality show in the country. The show starts airing in the fall. The freshmen in his dorm collectively lose their minds.

~*~

If you're in the mood for v. short ridiculous fun fic, may I suggest My chain hits my chest/When I'm bangin' on the radio by x_los It's 2k modern cultivators AU, featuring WWX calling LWJ's sword Bitchin' [omg I’m laughing so hard] and I think it's more fun going in blind?

My chain hits my chest/When I'm bangin' on the radio

by x_los

T, 2k, wangxian

Summary:  Lan Wangji finds he doesn't even need to call for help for Wei Wuxian to come running.

[sarking]

tell me about bensler for the ask meme please (you are the only writer i trust to do them <3)

THE PRESSURE.

Who’s the cuddler?

Elliot, but I couldn’t tell you if it’s his nature -- if he cuddled up to his mama as a boy the same as he does now -- or if it’s just the result of forty years of marriage and five kids. Olivia doesn’t have anything against it, but it’s not as instinctive to seek it out for her own sake as it is to dole it out for someone else’s.  

Who makes the bed?

Whoever doesn’t get called out in the dead of night and is there in the morning, but when that doesn’t happen... is there a point to having a Marine boyfriend if he doesn’t make the bed and fold the laundry? Olivia deserves it.

Who wakes up first?

See above re: middle of the night calls. But there’s also nightmares and not sleeping and, honestly, it’s anyone’s guess on any given day. 

Who has the weird taste in music?

Hmm. I don’t think either of them is weird, really. Elliot’s classic rock and like... Sinatra or whatever if he’s trying to be classy~; Liv is classic rock and Lilith Fair. (I have a whole playlist of things they can agree on.) Actually, Elliot might be a little The Mountain Goats, too? At the very least, This Year’s been on repeat the last year.

Who is more protective?

Someone should probably tell them it’s not a contest. They’re not even being graded. But they’d both get an A if they were. Neither one finds it to be the other’s most endearing trait, but...

Who sings in the shower? 

No shower singing. (But maybe Kathy sang in the shower? I feel like Kathleen got it from one of her parents.) Car singing, on the other hand... I’m just saying, they have spent a lot of time on the road together that we never see; there have been duets, if only to stay awake or prevent homicide (if someone is singing and annoying you, you might as well join in if murder would create too much paperwork). 

Who cries during movies?

O-l-i-v-i-a. (Imagine me singing that like Van Morrison’s “Gloria.”) It’s also not just movies -- Olivia is a big Queer Eye crier, but Queer Eye crying is more of an alone activity. It’s restorative, whereas movie crying is just kind of a leaky face thing she can more or less ignore. (She never watches Queer Eye with Elliot, but she’ll sometimes watch an episode a second time with Noah. There’s not really crying on the second run.) 

Who spends the most while out shopping?

This is hard. Early days, Olivia is hands down the winner. The woman has a coat problem, you know. Thousands and thousands of dollars of coats and I have no idea where she kept all of them. But now? Detective Private Security appears to have developed some expensive-ass taste living in Europe, so it’s really anyone’s guess.

Who kisses more roughly?

I feel like the word “rough” isn’t doing it for me here. It doesn’t feel right for either of them. More forcefully, maybe, and I’d say Olivia? It feels like a loud-talker thing. But I think it’s also an only with Elliot thing; in general terms, not so much. It also feels heavily dependent on the situation and the point in their relationship. 

Who is more dominant?

lmao, dear God, Olivia. I can either say just that, or write a treatise, or point to like... the interrogation in Return of the Prodigal Son or the scene with Marisol in The Christmas Episode. Elliot is just a bull in a china shop; Olivia is in charge and in control. If you’ll excuse me mixing my animal metaphors, she lets him off his leash and she puts him back on it. Also, sex-wise, I just rewatched the one where he was undercover as a sex addict and trying to make the people in the group believe he was into pinning women down? Hilarious. So unbelievable that when I rewatched Lunacy shortly thereafter, all I could hear when he responded to the suspect who was describing sex as a power struggle by saying, “Not if you’re doing it right,” was utter befuddlement at the idea of struggling rather than submitting happily.

My rating of the ship from 1-10.

6. Lots of potential, consistently struggling to live up to it.