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#honestly don’t know how i’m not dead
your-littlesecret · 11 months
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boy, those last 2 weeks have been HECTIC, i am glad to be finally having a day off after working 11 days straight, 10 hours almost every day
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rosenotactuallyquartz · 2 months
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(i’m sorry for making) headcanons about pearlrose during rose’s pregnancy
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[rebecca sugar’s concept sketches of rose. in the first picture, she has her hands on her pregnant tummy, and the second picture depicts only her face as she smiles and looks straight ahead.]
“rose is sad-eyed, even when smiling” — rebecca sugar
their last winter together would be like oh ms believer. as always, rose makes snow angels & starts snowball fights. pearl plays along but she feels physically ill when she realizes that the sun is starting to set later in the day & this is probably their last snowfall together
she blinks and suddenly there’s about two days left. pearl is taking care of rose; baking her everything she could possibly be craving, encouraging her to eat really well & to sleep when she’s done because no, rose, that part’s not required but it must be good for you. she tries not to tear up when she rubs her belly because she literally has forever to cry about this, and only a sliver of time left to spend with rose. so, pearl wraps her in the pink blanket that she knitted for her, & as she speaks to her, rose smiles to herself because she knows that her child will definitely recognize pearl’s voice right away. and yeah, she feels off & weak but she also feels safe, which is something she never felt in her early years. it’s something she never even felt before she was loved by pearl
she also knows that her child will get to grow up on earth with pearl instead of on homeworld with white. & that gives her all the peace she could possibly need before she dies
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cluusheen · 8 months
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i need to speak my truth before they come for me—after t*yl*r sw*fts announcement i am deeply worried for the dead poets society fandom.
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angelnumber27 · 3 months
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It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.
#I fucking hate having bpd#while I’m at it I don’t understand the fuckin audacity some people have to say they love you and do horrible things to you#I feel so stupid#I feel so stupid for believing all the lies#but I was so in love and put him on such a pedestal that I just allowed it all.#thinking about someone constantly and grieving over them and knowing they’re perfectly fine and to them you don’t exist#I’m still in such a state of grief and I don’t understand why time hasn’t healed#it honestly feels like it’s gotten worse w time#I just torture myself but I can’t help it my brain wants me dead#it’s so painful I feel so fucking stupid#being abandoned with no closure by someone who’s your entire world#for someone they were unfaithful to you with multiple times (I don’t even know how many and dony want to know) immediately#like that was the plan all along#he took our cat hundreds of miles away and I don’t even know if he still has her or if she’s still alive and I miss her every day#I never loved someone like that and it feels like the heartbreak is actually physically killing me#i spent 1/5 of my entire life with him#I was my prettiest and had the best body at the time and I wasted it on someone who didn’t appreciate me#not wasted. it wasn’t wasted. we had some incredible times together#I’ll never be that beautiful again#and now idk what do so bc i can’t decide which is worse: being alone and isolating or loving deeply and ending up horribly hurt all over#it’s all just so upsetting.#and I feel so stupid for allowing it all#he knows more about me than anyone and he made me feel like he loved me so much sometimes and then did horrid things and it’s so fucked up#nobody read this I’m so embarrassed and horribly broken#it traumatized me so much there was so much abuse and pain idk if I’ll ever recover#I deserved it but it still hurts my heart#I was so mentally ill and sick I know it had to have been miserable to be around me#there are so many things only he understands and knows about me and I need to talk about them I j wanna b able to b there 4 each other#but that girl is so beyond insecure and controlling so. if I want to talk to who fuckin gets me I’m just fucked#why lead someone on like that for years knowing you’re going to abandon them the second it’s convenient
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elizabethzoopzoop986 · 3 months
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Im genuinely very curious to see what the general consensus is in the fandom for these two…
Like will they ever be confirmed(one sided or not) to have romantic feelings for each other or will it stay in the “there just best friend” thing they have
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as-kind-as-summer · 29 days
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So when I started the show, I knew Sauron was a character so I clocked/assumed it was Halbrand early on as I think I heard it or saw photos or something. But I figured it would be something we found out like an episode or two later and not the plot twist for the whole season. So the longer things went on I was like…surely not. Surely it can’t be him. And even though it was technically spoiled, it still got me! It was still a great twist! Galadriel befriending the man she’s been hunting this whole time without knowing only for it to be revealed right at the end and then she doesn’t tell anyone? Absolutely eating it all up, cannot wait for season two. Season one has been so phenomenal honestly I might watch it again before Thursday.
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i-am-church-the-cat · 6 months
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Okay no one talk to me bc I haven’t watched the race yet but I just finished Nightbane by Alex Aster and am currently Losing It. I need the third book rn.
#lightlark#nightbane#spoilers for the book from this point on#OH MY GOD#WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE’S GOING TO KILL ONE OF THEM????#ALEX#ALEX PLEASE#I HATE LOVE TRIANGLES YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME#wait if it’s possible to bring people back to life in the Other World then could she theoretically bring Oro/Grim back?#also SHE’S DEAD???? WHAT?????#also are the dreks what Oro was talking about when he said Grim was protecting them all from something in the last book?#WAIT BUT-#SHE’S LIFE AND DEATH SHE’S BOTH#SHE’S BOTH ALIVE AND DEAD#YOU CAN BRING SOMETHING BACK FROM DEATH SO WHAT WILL SHE BRING BACK FROM ORO/GRIM’S DEATH?#also what are your bets kn who she kills?#atp signs are pointing to oro especially with the stuff that enya was saying#like isla is basically born to be his doom#but also i don’t think isla wants to go to the other world atp#idk I NEED THE THIRD BOOK#also if she’s going to shack up with grim now: how is he going to act knowing she isn’t only his?#how will they act together? just bc isla loves him doesn’t mean they’ll be all domestic like she and oro were#and god idk which couple i love more#they also hate each other so polyam seems unlikely#i think the only thing that makes sense here is that she dies as well#she can’t go and kill one guy and then live happily ever after with the other#she’ll be haunted by the loss of one of her great lives#and whoever guy lives wouldn’t be able to bear it#honestly in situations like this i’m always an all or nothing person#also i hit 30 tags so i can’t say more but gods. this series man
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jetskisonyourmoat · 9 months
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Heard a snippet of Too Much To Ask and immediately began to shed tears. Then listened to Big Ideas and cried again. I am begging Alex to start releasing music that doesn’t make me shed hot tears.
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allpromarlo · 4 months
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power scalers in jjk are the same type of insane unhinged weird as the shippers bc like. why are you comparing hakari to sukuna. that man can’t even get past the nonbinary maid
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skillzissuez · 8 months
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Depression is all fun and games until your skipping school even though you’re weeks behind because you quite literally can’t get out of bed
#god I hate it here#not to mention you mother and father#SEEING this#simply decides to ignore you like your Alr dead#like damn okay 💀💀 fuck you too ig 💀💀#I don’t know how to fix this#I’m literally gonna be held back or taken to court bc I’ve missed so many days#but oh well the sillies r keeping me alive#Also I told myself I wouldn’t vent online anymore but I honestly don’t care anymore 😭#it’s so bad though#I tried to do some of my homework last night and ended up throwing up from the stress#and it’s not like my friends just forgot about me they are GOOD friends I’ve just been pushing them away; telling them I’m just sick etc.#it’s my fault so I’m not mad at them for not knowing what to do. The closest ones try to call me#sometimes I answer and we talk. sometimes I don’t and they leave me a message abt how their a good listener and they KNOW something’s wrong.#Truly I love my friends but at this point I just need to be medicated or in a mental institution ong#but again; it’s not like my parents actually care. they canceled my therapy that was court appointed to me#My support system otherwise is gone; my older siblings have moved out and I’m supposed to protect my younger ones from my parents#but deadass my entire family is well aware that I’m useless in that department#I shake scream and sob everytime my parents yell at us so I’m no help; really#I mean recently I’ve been able to keep my emotions under control but the only reason why is because I’m dead inside 💪#As I’m typing this out I’m realizing that I should be telling the world this especially not in my mental state but like. I dunno 🤷‍♂️#I know most of you don’t care or if you do your just concerned or feel bad bc you know what it’s like and I thank you.#seriously; I thank you for being human and reminding me the world can be kind#if anything im just distracting myself from whatever this is. whether it be playing a silly game or drawing about said silly game it helps#but it also makes me feel guilty bc I RLLY should be focused on trying to pass this year. but I’m pretty sure it’s too late now.#anyways; that’s why I’ve been inactive lately so I apologize#it’s funny bc I’m typing this out but I rlly don’t feel anything while explaining this to you guys#I’ll tag this properly; I don’t know why I’m posting this and I might delete it later I dunno#tw vent#tw mention of abuse
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starheirxero · 1 year
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HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW TSAMS EPISODE YET?!!!
Bloodmoon might be coming back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LITERALLY JUST WOKE UP AND THIS ASK SENT ME FLYING ACROSS THE ROOM OMG. WATCHED IT AND HOLY SHIT. I’M LIKE ?!?!!!!! IM GENUINELY SURPRISED HE’S COMING BACK ???? I WAS SO SURE BLOODMOON WAS GUNNA STAY DEAD THIS IS FASCINATING. ESPECIALLY RUIN’S IMPLICATION OF ALTERING THEM ???? WHAT IS HE GUNNA DO 2 THE BOYS……. IM VERY INTRIGUED
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bibleofficial · 3 months
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went to the beach w kp & 4 other indian friends & 3 of us had NEVER surfed before girl WHEW it’s SO fun literally only 20quid to rent a wetsuit & board & i fucking smashed my toes on the sand so much, but also we 1) got the wrong tickets so we got off 1 stop early 2) went to find a bus & the bus that was supposed to be 15 min turned into an HOUR 3) on our way to find a bus back everyone’s phones are dying or dead bc it took us 3hrs longer to get there, cigarettes are out 4) all of the shops in town are closed & the town seems to have ONLY a tesco extra & 1 off license that sells a PACK FOR 15.65 A PACK WHICH IS FUCKING CRIMINAL ITS CHEAPER TO BUY IT FROM TESCO ARE U INSANE 5) the bus back to the other town kept skipping us bc the bus stop wasn’t the ACTUAL bus stop - i had 1 bowl since literally 11a & we got back at fucking 11p 😭😭😭
#diary#i was honestly abt to strangle EVERYBODY#‘do u have a cigarette’ ‘where’s ur vape’ ‘where are we going’ ‘which bus is it’ ‘do u have a ___’ ‘did u bring ___’ girl what am i DORA w#the magic fuckin BACKPACK ??? while ur UP MY ASS dig around & SEE IF SMTHGS IN THERE 😭😭😭😭#i literally broke sobriety again bc i was just#girl i was so agitated & there was 1 TRAIN LEFT BEFORE 11P so we needed to get the 2ND TO LAST BUS OF THE DAY#i deadass was like ‘if we miss that train i will make sure u all go blind’ ‘did u bring a knife’ ‘I DONT NEED 1’#AKSJAKSKAKKSJSKSSJAKJSKAHSKSHDLASKAKDLA#LIKE U BITCHES SMOKED ALL MY CIGARETTES MY VAPES DEAD MY PHONES DYING UR ALL DRUNK IM GOING TO KILL YALL 😭😭😭😭😭#<- me knowing i could never be a parent#tbh if i caught my kid smoking a cig id make em do the ol ‘im going to sit down in front of u w a fresh box of cigarettes & make u finish#the box or pass out’#YES IM STRICT#i think it’s so funny ok unrelated but like they’ll speak hindi & i’ve just#learned it through being around them kind of like i can’t speak it except for some word u know like matachot etc but i’ll Understand the#Context & what’s being Said#ASLKALSKALSKLAKSLAKSLAKSLA like while waiting for the train back 1 of them was talking abt me being a fool to the others - literally they’re#all indian & i had walked away so when i walked back he was still talkin but then i started giggling bc i knew he was talkin abt me & how i#pinched a bit of the kebab to throw to the seagull bc he offered it to me & i needed to bait the seagull w something & i pinched & tossed &#& he looked at me like 😦 bhenchod ! & then the seagull came over & i was like :D hi bestie <3333 but then when i started giggling after i#walked back he was like ‘what the fuck does he just know hindi now’#it makes me laugh so fucking HARD 😭😭😭😭😭 LIKE FUCK U I LIKE TO PARTICPATE IN COVERSATION IDC ABT LANGUAGE#like i’ve been surrounded by yall for the past#girl it’s been like a year i don’t even talk to british ppl or americans#ALSKALSKALSKALKSLAKSLALSLA MESS ! i love to slavsquat & kp hates it bc he’s like ‘we’re in the uk why are u sitting like this’ bc he thinks#it’s ’too indian’ ALSKALSKALSKALJSKAKDLA 😭😭😭😭😭 this hips were made for sitting#we’re definitely going to go back bc it’s SO CLOSE IF WE ACTUALLY USE THE TRANSPORT PROPERLY ITS ONLY LIKE AN HOUR OR SO COMMUTE EACH WAY#bring lunch whatever#i’m exhausted but also socially like bro i had to leave the donner place just to walk around the block for SOME QUIET#i’ve just been sososososo busy LOSING MY MIND
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storytellering · 11 months
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hey man love ur stuff. i was wondering if youd considered posting some of ur art on ao3? ive seen more ppl doing that lately, since ao3 isnt gonna ban "adult content." id love to follow u on twitter but i had to quit using that god forsaken app awhile ago lmao
Hey!
I honestly don’t plan to do that, truth be told I was initially very hesitant to publicly link my ao3 to my art account at all tjfk writing is a skill I’ve only just started brushing up on (I’ve always done it, but never seriously and not with the intent of making stuff that was to be seen by the public, and definitely haven’t studied it the way I have art) and it’s taking me a bit, still, to not feel embarrassed enough by everything I put out to not even want my name on it. I’d rather keep my art and my writing separate! If I were to I would have to make an account specifically for that, but honestly, that would only come if I felt the need to archive my stuff and not actively partecipate in the community anymore? I don’t know how to explain it. Obviously I’m still gonna keep posting my stuff even if Twitter crumbles, I’m trying to find an equivalent alternative still, and I don’t blame anyone for wanting to leave that dumpster fire, I’m just the kind of person who’s very hesitant to leave a place once I’ve figured out how it works - I honestly don’t know where else to put my nsfw if it does crumble into dust, tho. I might start posting previews on Tumblr with links to privatter in that case (they say they don’t allow nsfw but until they actively come down and delete my posts themselves, honestly, I’m gonna treat it like it is ok. After all all my posts there come with a disclaimer warning about 18+ themes and every potential CW present in the image so, I don’t think there’s anything morally wrong with that.)? I think I’ll see about that once it really comes to it. Terribly sorry if that locks anyone out! For what it’s worth, the full pieces of my nsfw are still on privatter so if you can access them there they’re still gonna be available, and for regular art I have here, bluesky, and misskey. (And Instagram, though I try to be as non-controversial there as possible because I’m honestly kinda terrified of the large anti presence there hfjfkf, so I don’t post most of my ship art there.)
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spookykestrel · 4 months
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Chat how soon is too soon to return to a job after being thrown a goodbye celebration under the pretense of you moving across the country 🫣
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hershelwidget · 5 months
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I don’t know anymore have a Caleb prepared to Fight for his bestie
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“she asked for no pickles” lookin scene
#his character arc from goofy tall guy to Don’t Talk To Me Or My Friends Ever Again is WILD#hershel’s octonauts au#octonauts gups#in all seriousness this scene is based off of the concept of lars making his way onto the ship#caleb and beast both want him DEAD dead#also to explain emma:#she gained a genuine phobia from the trauma of her experience with lars and has nightmares about him like. 3 times a week#bundle that info with the fact that caleb and emma are quite close and badda bam you have the scene#technically speaking emma did ask for no pickles. she asked to not Be the pickles.#i’m normal about these two specifically i need to study their friendship under a microscope#to ramble about caleb for a second sorry-#he had enough soup before his death for the effects to. well. take effect. and he gained a rather mild form of amnesia but still Amnesia#he doesn’t fully remember darwin but knows in his heart that darwin is important to him so he stays near them when possible#(as a result from the trauma of being murdered) he sometimes has moments where he Shuts Down#but he’ll still try to be close to any of his friends ; though those moments bring him closer to emma because she’s usually the one to#guide him when he does that (she does it too)#he wants lars dead because he’s being angry ‘on behalf’ of darwin and emma his two favourite people in the world#obviously thats not really how it works but that’s what he feels is going on#’if not me then who’ type of situation with this guy yk.#also ALSO one time he absolutely destroyed felix because he found out that he’s been manipulating emma so there’s also that#caleb is VERY protective about emma actually. most of the time it’s unnecessary honestly#it only really becomes useful against the other spirits or against lars#like in the picture !! woah it comes full circle i know right#thats my cue to post the thing . sighs . caleb i love you don’t let lars hurt anyone else
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imidori-ya · 6 months
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Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros is literal hot garbage and I will die on this hill.
#like it’s literally one of the worst constructed/written books I have ever encountered#how on earth could Yarros be married to a 20+ year military vet and yet still not even understand the most basic military concepts#it’s honestly astounding how brain dead her characters are#the way she writes makes it abundantly obvious that she thinks her readers are a bunch of idiots#who need every single story theme and element hand fed to them#the introduction of Varrish was just utter bullshit#she could have painted ‘VILLAIN’ on his forehead and it would’ve been less obvious#please tell us again how smart your main character is while she proceeds to do the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen#‘oh why won’t xaden trust me with rebellion secrets even though I basically announce my suspicions of the empire at every turn?’#idk violet maybe it’s bc you won’t do the mind training they’ve been telling you to do#so you’re constantly vulnerable to the mindreader YOU KNOW PERSONALLY#maybe that’s why no one tells you anything???#also holy shit her being like ‘I have to be careful and not let the empire know I’m questioning my duties’#and then immediately crashing into a scribe meeting to request more red flag reading??#like??? was she kicked in the head???#also the dragons stating multiple times that humans are basically like ants to them and they don’t care if they live or die#but simultaneously having to somehow be subserveant to the military????#bitch why weren’t you all enslaved by the dragons#this is such nonsense#also her prose is ass#come back when you can tell the difference between parse and parcel Rebecca#yeah a lot of my complaints are iron flame related#but that’s just bc it really hit home how bad this all is with the second book#net zero improvement#way to fail downwards Rebecca#ALSO!! what evil empire would conscript their enemies children into the one branch of their military where they get DRAGONS and SUPERPOWERS#like what??!!#in what world#what military would be so afraid of a new rebellion that they conscript the people with deep emotional ties to the old rebellion???#if real militaries worked this way there would be no more war bc we’d all be dead
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