#honestly he cracks me up sometimes like these lyrics girl what are you on about. ur dad…

[muirneach]

‘modern country music isnt conservative!’ i cry, as i press play on a colter wall track for the millionth time

[sheisobvious]

some old stuff I found on pinterest (and below interesting things) - Part 1

Picture 1 

“One minute Taylor is busting out lyrics and being adorable in front of the camera, and the next she is like high-fashion model” 

Q: What type of music are you into right now? 

TS: A Late’80s pop. One of my favorite songs is “She Drives Me Crazy”, by Fine Young Cannibals.It was so ahead of its time.  

App she loves – 8MM vintage camera  

TS: “It lets you put a cool, 1960s-style filter on iPhone videos and gives clips a moody grain” 

Picture 2 

COSMOGIRL 2009 

TS: "My newest hobby is going to wal-mart and putting my CD in front of others in the rack. I have no shame in it!" 

Picture 3 

Seventeen Magazine (2008) 

Q: Do you think that he ( the guy from “Should’ve Said No”) secretly likes being named in your songs? TS: Yeah, probably. Those kinds of guys like getting attention – because I mean, what else is he doing? He’s probably with six different girls who don’t know that they’re being played. 

Q: Has he (Drew from “Teardrops on My Guitar”)  contacted you?  

TS: Actually, he showed up in my driveway a couple of months ago, and it was like in the movies where at the end the guy shows up in your driveway, and you have this awesome kiss – except it’s three years too late. I’m like, Why didn’t you do this years ago ?!? He was stranger by then, so I felt like I didn’t know him anymore. 

Q: Do you ever write songs about anyone other than yourself? 

TS: “Tied Together With a Smile” is about a girl I knew my freshman year. She was absolutely Miss Popular, a pageaant girl, and she looked perfect every day! Always had the cutest outfits, always looked teh best at prom. But sometimes when you get a litle closer to people who look that perfect, you realize that they don’t feel perfect.They feel they’re ugly. And that’s what happened with this girl- I became closer friends with her, and one day she confessed that she was bulimic. 

Q: How did that make you feel? 

TS: It was really hard for me to take. But I never want to make someone feel horrible. do not deserve to be treated like that. I try to reason with  them and be calm about it. After a while, I was just like, "You don't need to do that anymore." So I played that song for her, and I said, "Who do you think that's about?" And honestly, I don't think she ever did it after that. 

Q: Have you ever felt bad about the way you look? 

TS: Everybody does! Everybody looks in the mirror and is like, I wonder why her eyes are huge and mine are smaller. But I realized that if you’re lucky enough to be different from everybody else, don’t change. 

Q: Do you ever wonder what it would be like to be someone eise? 

TS: Oh, my gosh, if I were a different person and I could start all over, I would want to be Hayley Williams from Paramore! I think she’s awesome, and their music is amazing. But you know, I love country music more than anything  in the world – I would never change what I do. 

Picture 4 

“I’ve seen a lot of you get new cars”, she joke to those who worked on the album (Fearless)  

Picture 5 

YOU (2009) 

FAVORITE BOOK – Who Will Cry When You Die? By Robin S. Sharma. It’s a self-help but It’s na easy read. Every page has a new thing you can do to show the people you love that they matter to you. It makes you appreciate what you have. I have a lot more good days now that I’ve read that. 

STYLE ICON – Cahrlize Theron. Thank you for saying I look a bit like her – taht makes my whole week. 

BEAUTY PRODUCTS – My favourite lip colour is Dragon Girl by Nars;l realy like Armani make-up and there's a perfume that l get when ľ'm in the UK called Midnight Rain by La Prairie. And I love Jo Malone candles. 

I: As ever, she sounds too good to be true . It might be one reason why. If we're being honest what eveyone realy wants to see is Taylor Swit being a litte bit naughty. Surely the teetotal Pollyanna façade must have cracks? Anyway, wouldn’t a bit of teenage rebellion be healthy? 

TS: “I've been given the freedom to do whatever I want. I'm 19 –if want to storm out of the house and go to a club and get drunk and take my clothes off and run naked through Nashville, I can do that. I just really would rather not. I's as simple as that. It's not like I’ve been beaten down by some corporation that's forcing me to always behave myself - l just naturally do. Sometimes people are fascinated by the fact that I don't care about partying. almost to the point where they think it's weird.l think when we get to the point where it's strange for you to not be stumbing around high on something at 19, t's a warped world.” 

Picture 6 

PEOPLE, 2009 

Q: You just gave a $250,000 donation to schools you had previously attended or worked with. Why schools? 

TS: The schools that I went to and the amazing people I got to learn from relly turned me into who I am, and I wanted to give back. 

Q:If you’ve done all this by the time you turned 20, what do you want to do bu the time you turn 30? 

TS:I think I’d like to have made a couple more albums that I’m really proud of. I’d like to have a house. I’m not the kid the girl who makes a goal for herself of getting married or starting a family. I’ve never really put a timeline on those sorts of things. So I don’t have any personal goals by the time I’m 30. 

(midnight rain vibe)

Picture 7 

Q: What would you say is your biggest love “don’t” ? 

TS: No one wants to be with someone who desperately needs them. You should want the other person and love him, but you shouldn’t need him. If you depend on him for your happiness, that’s not good ,because what will you do when it ends? 

Picture 8 

TIGER BEAT  

I CALLED THIS ALBUM RED BECAUSE.. “all the different emotions written about on this album, they’re all about the tumultuous, crazy, insane, intense, semitoxic relationships that I’ve experienced in the last two years. In my mind, all of those emotions are red.” 

(I think this is the first time I see her referring to this relationship as toxic before 2022)

Picture 9 

BOP 2012 

Taylor Swift looks down at the floor as she talks about the songs on her new album, Red (it comes out October 22). "They're sad, if I'm being honest,"she confesses. Tay's big blue eyes get a little teary as she thinks about her life right now.In the last two years. Tay says she's felt "all of those emotions, travels around spanning from intense love,intense the workd with frustration, jealousy and confusion." She also admits. "There's been this earth-shattering. not recent, but absolute crash-and-bum neartbreak." 

(in this interview they are weird about her parents divorce)

[dailytomlinson]

Radio Deejay: transcript

RD: If he [other host] had been a singer/songwriter, he would love to performer this song, Hey There Delilah, it's a very special song for you, no?

Louis: Yeah, it's a very special song for me, it's the song I auditioned with, actually, yeah.

RD: How old were you when you performed this song for the the first time?

Louis: I was 18 years old, bare in mind I had NO experience at that stage, I had performed to about 200 people before that, and it was about 3.000 in the [XF] room. I was terrified!

RD: Was there a Delilah in your life?

Louis: I... I am sure there was, back then, yeah, yeah... Yeah... Definitely

RD: [Hey There Delilah] Is still the closing song of the show? [translator got a bit confused]

Louis: Not every show, I know, I know it was the last show, to be fair [oh so he knows], eh, but not every show. Hm, just--

RD: His daughter was at the show and she said that when the final song got played there were at least 5 thousand girls singing and holding han--

Louis: oHHH I SAW THAT! Yeah, I saw that!

RD: He [host] lives right in front of the venue--

Louis: Ohhh, amazing! [laughs] Apologies, apologies!

RD: How does it feel, eh, girls camped for three days, this is a new thing, usually people get there very early in the morning, but now it's like basically living in front of the venue for three days and three nights. How's that feel?

Louis: Yeah, honestly, I'm so... I am so blessed with the fan base... They, every single show I've had this year it's been absolute incredible, to be fair, but to finish on a gig the size that Milan was, honestly, for the first half of the set, I was just looking out, tryina take everything in. It was amazing.

RD: Your music could potentially be appreciated by anyone, but the fact that these are all screaming girls, does that make you feel afraid somehow? Or makes you feel weird sometimes?

Louis: I'm not gonna lie, I'm used to it, that's always been the way ever since I've been in the band, to be fair. So, I'm used to it, man and I love it.

RD: Have you seen... Of course you have, documentaries about the Beatles Mania

Louis: Did you watch Get Back? That was amaaaazing! AmAAAzing! Love that, love that! Yeah!

RD: How do you feel looking at this hm movie?

Louis: I think I maybe watched with slightly different eyes, because obviously I can relate in my own way, obviously being part of a band kinda of, you know, watching their... their rise up, but for me, as a songwriter, that's where, that's where I was just fascinated! Just to watch those magicians at work, and it was really, really, interesting.

RD: If you could, what would you steal from The Beatles?

Louis: The lyrics! [laughs]

RD: Is it easier to make music or lyrics?

Louis: Personally, for me, is always been easier to write the lyric than melody and music, but I think that's it's like each to their own.

RD: How long have you been away from home?

Louis: We started the tour in February and I've had little gaps in between where I managed to go back to the UK or back to LA [stunt mention]. But it's been a long year on the road, to be fair. A great year, but a long year on the road.

RD: The fans are asking when the next tour begin?

Louis: No, no, listen, I love being on the road, man. I've been working towards this moment for a long time. Some point next year.

RD: What's the feeling after the last show was finished? Was it a relief or like ahh the tour is over?

Louis: There was an element of relief because there was a lot of pressure that night, coz I was doing my new single, so it was in me head a little bit. But actually, when I woke up the next morning, on the Sunday after the show, I was gutted man, I was gutted that it was over. It's been such a great year for me, man.

RD: This was fucking great!

Louis: There you go lad, there you go! You got it down!

RD: Is Bigger Than Me about what's happening to you right now?

Louis: [voice cracks] Yeah, yeah, very much so. Fucking hell, me voice cracked there [laughs]. Yeah, Yeah, very much so, very much so. Do you know what? I actually don't wanna give too much away about what the songs are about this time, I did that on the first record, and it leaves no room for imagination so actually, for me I'd rather people draw in their own conclusions or relate to it how they want, really.

RD: Are you a fan and also a friend of the Gallagher brothers?

Louis: I wouldn't say a friend... A fan, yeah. Yeah, a fan. I mean, I like them, obviously, don't know them personally, not really.

RD: What's the best thing about their music? Individually and as a group.

Louis: I'd say, I mean, I never got to experience as a band, I've seen them both individually, but actually I mean, seeing Oasis live at the height of their power must have been unbelievable.

RD: Would 1D behaved differently, more like Oasis, if you all could?

Louis: There wasn't so much of that but also because we the youngest of us was 16 and I was the old, and I was 18, really young into it. We were really relying on people around, to a certain degree but we weren't told "do this, do that" but we got up to what we needed to, behind close doors. Do you know what I mean? :>

RD: You were probably similar to The Beatles because they were also super young and they also had a father figure, almost

Louis: Not gonna lie, that was challenging at first, being this, you know, the whole thing of being a role model especially to that younger fanbase at times, that is challenging, specially when you are 18/19/20, growing up in the industry, yeah, there are definitely times when that side was definitely challenging.

RD: Everythings great now [...] Do you ever feel like you skipped a part of your youth?

Louis: There is a little bit of an element of that. I wouldn't have it any other way. It’s not as if i would swap for a different life, I absolutely loved my time in the band and being that age and going through that with other like-minded people. The thing that I’m most gutted that I missed out on is university. I think I would have loved to have gone to university — and not for the education, only for the social!

RD: Maybe you also missed playing football? You'd played more football?

Louis: Yeah, yeah, definitely. You know what, Niall, out the band, was a decent player. Other than Niall, there's not another good footballer in the band. So it always made me look really good!

RD: What about Doncaster?

Louis: Doncaster? Yeah, my local team, EH, we're not in the best place we've ever been. We're the lowest division we've been for a long time, but you just gotta keep the hopes up as a football fan.

RD: Have they [Donny Rovers] ever been in a Premiere League?

Louis: NOOOO, NOOOOO, nooo... :( Noo, man

RD: Talking about Faith, that's the title of your new album...

Louis: yeah, Faith in the Future, I've done it a little bit different this time around, I had the album title before I had written any of the songs and it was long before C*v*d as well, and it was just a phrase that always spoke to me and then C*v*d happened and it just felt kinda appropriated, almost felt like the title had decided itself.

RD: Randomly, you and Harry are in Italy at the same time, did you exchange, maybe, I don't know, a text or

Louis: I didn't actually know that to be fair, I mean, I think both of us are really, really, busy at the moment specially this week for me, with the Bigger Than Me release week, I actually didn't know. Normally, I'm kinda of across with what everyone's doing but nah, I didn't know that, to be fair.

RD: Thank you, it's been a pleasure.

Louis: No, thank you, thank you

RD: See you in Doncaster or whenever Doncaster comes to play San Siro

Louis: We might be waiting a long time.

[imnotgoinghome]

Peter Parker

Peter Parker, the famous Spider-Man. While being an Avenger seems cool, he got teased a lot for being a cinnamon roll. He can also be an idiot sometimes, hope someone can put up with him. I know the Avengers can’t, most of the time.

Series:

FYI: They all go to the main pages of the series, you’ll find the chapters there

Alive or Just Breathing? - I would like to warn y’all now; this will be a series, marking my first series ever. Hope y’all enjoy this. Also, this is a sad story with what I hope to make a somewhat happy ending but I haven’t decided yet…

Peter Parker didn’t have an easy job. And after a while, him being gone tended to take a toll on the people he loved . After getting into a fight, he begins to wonder if he can fix your already broken relationship or if it’s coming to an end for good.

Blurs:

True love - Yes, this is based off the song by Pink (ligit includes lyrics). Not gonna lie, it’s not great but it’s fun, sooo…

Peters way of cheering you up is different then you expected

Time flies when your in love -This one was just wrote in a short amount of time, so it’s not great but I still kinda like

One simple bump in the shoulder can lead to so much more

Peto Burrito - Y’all really liked this one, I’d say fan favorite?

Peters always cute, even when he’s sad

A Sleepover with Secrets - I wrote this one a long time ago and it always cracks me up that I never thought of a summary for it and ligit just made it a quote from the story

“Can I tell you something”

She was wrong - Death is implied. Do with that information what you will. Once again with the quote summary thing, like is it that hard to make a summary?

“I can’t believe she’s really gone”

Crushing - Yes this has a part 2. Are you surprised? The part two wasn’t originally planned, but I’m kinda glad it happened. Third times a charm with the quote.

“You’ve never felt that way about someone?”

The Letters that Meant Nothing - Please just go read the first one (Crushing), then this, makes it easier on me… but I can’t control you so do whatever you want

Brad Davis was determined to get you to go out with him, will letters work?

The Past, the Future, and the Present - Based on a request by oyasumimosura. Also, just FYI, this is more about you then you and Peter. I think Peters mentioned like 5ish times, not 100% sure tho.

The powers you never wanted, caused the things you never wanted to happen

Physically Close - Thank you prompt list. This is definitely a fan favorite. Once AGAIN with the quote. And I’m not kidding when I say the “summary” is what inspired the whole story.

“Y/n, I physically can’t get any closer to you, it’s impossible”

PDA - I’m gonna say it now, if you don’t like PDA, just don’t read it. I mean it’s not bad, but I know some people don’t like it. So if your one of those people and you read this, just keep in mind that I tried to warn you

PDA had never been your thing, but you’ll accept Peters

The Pictures on Your Phone - Btw, in the beginning, I set it up like you were in a place like Main Event or a place like that. But honestly, imagine what you want to.

After finding pictures taken by you on his phone, Peter realizes that his feelings aren’t what he thought they were

Against All Stereotypes - I completely thank my brain (and Pinterest) for this. I hope you guys like it, and I’m well aware that I suck at posting on time but it’s fine

Who would have thought of a Nerd and a Popular Girl being friends?

I Think I Like This Story - For the people wondering, not this I’m not a part of my story ‘Alive or Just Breathing’. Chapter 3 is in the works, trust me but right now I just need a break from thinking about it. It’s not easy for me to write sometimes and I know I just came back from a HUGE writers block, but sometimes we just needs break, ya know? I also have been on vacation so that’s one reason why Chapter 3 Isn’t out yet, but I’ll get working on it soon, trust me. Anyways, hope you guys like this story. It’s just a cute short little blur but I think it’s cute and I hope you guys will too.

With overwhelming stress and anxiety, all you wanted was to get away. But what you failed to realize, was that this get away wasn’t going to end like the rest.

Holiday Specials:

Christmas but 10 Times Better - I know it’s been awhile, but I’ve been in serious writers block!!! So I hope you guys like it!

Christmas was a special time of year, but you had someone who made it ten times better

[survey--s]

618.

How many pieces of gum have you chewed today? None. I couldn’t even tell you the last time I bought gum. Any big events coming up? No, not really. I’m off to Manchester for the weekend next month though! Do you know anyone who is paralyzed? There’s a girl on here I follow who’s paralysed 🙂 I don’t know anyone in person, though. What did you do last night? Messed about online, watched Below Deck: Down Under, cleaned out the massive bookshelf in the living room and watched far too many TikTok videos. By doing that, what time did you go to bed? Around 10pm but I didn’t go to sleep until gone midnight.

And what time did you wake up this morning? Around 7.30am.Have you been debating anything recently? Not really.

Who was the last person to text you? Mike.

Are there icicles on the sides of your house? No, it’s August lol.

Do you get intimidated easily? It depends on the circumstances.

Does anything on your body hurt currently? Actually for once, no.

Are you often trying to escape the inevitable? No, I don’t think so. What were the first words you said today? “Come on dog” - to get him to come back under the covers so I could go back to sleep. Which lyric is your favorite from the song you are listening to? I’m watching TV at the moment.

Does it hold any memories? No. Why did you last cry?I genuinely can’t remember the last time I cried.

Did someone see you crying? …

Do you crack your knuckles? My knuckles are probably the only body part I don’t crack.

Is it really going to give you arthritis? I crack my joints because they hurt if I don’t (plus sometimes they just crack when I move naturally) so if I’m going to get arthritis, then that’s what happens lol.

Are you excited for the new year? I’m not excited or dreading it really, it’s just another day.

List three things you are excited for in ‘09? Ha, you’re 14 years out.

What is the wallpaper on your cellphone? Just an outer space wallpaper I got online.

Where is your best friend right now? He’s at work.

Can you count to 100 in any other language? French, German, Italian.

Do you headbang often? Nah.

Magenta or orchid? Magenta.

Are you a fan of Rob Zombie? No.

Last two songs you listened to? I don’t remember.

Are there any shoes you are really wanting? Not really. I just need a new pair for work.

Describe what you are wearing? A teal green t-shirt and black leggings.

Look out the window - what do you see? A bunch of stuff that’s waiting to go to the tip.

Television or computer? Computer.

Germany or France? France.

Hawthorne Heights or She Wants Revenge? Ha, I used to LOVE Hawthorne Heights. What a throwback.

Is your skin sensitive? Yeah, it is unfortunately.

Are you sensitive in general? No, not really. Who last left you a note? I honestly have no idea, probably Susie? Have you ever made a gingerbread house? No.

Who did you last get in a fight with? Mike is the only person I ever really argue with. I wouldn’t call them fights though.

Are thing resolved between the two of you now? Sure.

Did you have any weird dreams last night? I don’t remember what I dreamt about last night.

Tell me one thing you remember from it? ^ Lets have some lyrics to end this, yeah? Put your make-up on, get your nails done, curl your hair, run the extra mile, keep it slim so they like you. Do they like you?

[jaesqueso]

1980s horror film

pairing: classmate!jaemin x female!reader

summary: you decide to pour your feelings out as you watch a 1980s horror film

word count: 811

warnings: hm crack, fluff and angst? idk this is weird, based on the lyrics of the song by the same name by The Wallows

a/n: well this is a really poor attempt to get back to writing but I promise something better is coming, don’t kill me just yet! thanks for reading ❤︎

☽ ・・・・・ ☾

“You should totally come over and watch it!” Jaemin excitedly says as your mouth dries up.

You don’t know when it started but neither does every other girl in school, literally everyone has a crush on the tall handsome boy with the brightest smile. He’s obviously pretty popular and, even though he could date anyone he wanted, most find it hard to believe he never had a girlfriend. Not  for lack of trying by the female population, he just doesn’t seem interested in getting into a relationship. But that doesn’t stop the flirting coming his way.

“Y-yeah, sounds great!” You pray he doesn’t notice the nervousness through your voice.

You wouldn’t exactly say you too are friends. You share a few classes and because of an assignment he found out you share the love for horror movies so sometimes when he sees you eating alone at the cafeteria he sits down with you. After all these years your heart still skips a beat and you forget how to breath when he comes around, but once you start talking about horror movies everything else disappears and it’s just the two of you. And this was exactly one of these situations when he suddenly asked you to come to his house to watch a 1980’s horror film.

After ringing the door bell, you nervously play with the hem of your shirt as you heard the steps inside. At first you thought he wasn’t serious about the invitation, you know just something people say but don’t really mean it, but then he texted you the time for you to show up and it all became real. You are really going to Jaemin’s house to watch a film. This seems like such a typical teen movie scene but when he opened the door and let you in you knew it was real by the way your legs almost froze in place.

Greeting his parents that sat in the living room, you follow your crush to his bedroom. His room is dark, the curtains are down and the only source of light comes from the string lights decorating his desk. He gestures for you to sit on the bed as he pulls his desk chair and sets up the movie in his laptop. Settling on his duvet you can’t help the thousands of thoughts going through your head.

This is where Jaemin sleeps. Does he perhaps sleep naked? Does he lay on top of the sheets? Am I sitting somewhere his bare skin touched? I can only imagine the things he has done in this bed alone. Or perhaps with someone too. Oh I wish it was me. Feeling his hands roam through my body as my clothes slowly come off to lay careless on the floor-

“I hope you like it!” Your thoughts are interrupted by his sweet voice that brings you back to reality.

Simply nodding your tear your gaze from his dreamy face to focus on the small screen. But not long after the initial credits roll your eyes drift back to him. Its been so long since you had a boyfriend, you miss cuddling, you miss doing couple things, you miss the simple touch of someone who cares about you. And honestly from where you’re sitting you could easily lift your hand and run your fingers through his smooth brown locks. But you don’t do that. You look back to the 1980s horror film.

Halfway through the movie and you still don’t know what it is really about because while your eyes are on the moving figures your mind is on him. You can’t hold your feelings in anymore. You’re both seventeen, your finishing high school soon and god knows when you’ll have an opportunity like this again. Taking a deep breath you part your lips to speak.

“Jaemin, I don’t know what to say to you, I feel you’re always on my mind.” He looks over his shoulder and you consider stopping but you started so might as well finish it. “And now that I know what I need I’m taking the long way round in my mind. It’s not right. I can’t help the way I feel anymore and I need to ask you Jaemin.” You take a deep breath. “Could it be that you feel this way, too?”

He gets up from the chair and joins you in his bed. The light from the screen of his laptop lights the side of his face and the whole mood just seems so right. You look deep into his eyes trying to understand what he’s feeling, trying to demystify the thoughts in his head and the feelings in his heart. But then he said.

“I’m really not that into girls.”

And without saying another word you look back to the small screen and continue watching the 1980s horror film.

☽ ・・・・・ ☾

taglist: @yokshi-unbeliebubble @nc-teen @yutahoes @dimplehyunn​ @iknowyuno​ @bebskyy​ @ne0cultur3technology​ @nurenciye​ unable to tag: @chenleyang @doahflix

[jisungsmochi]

i’ve got this friend - mark lee

i’ve got this friend - mark lee 

based on the (unreleased) song by 5SOS 

neighbour & friend! mark + a very oblivious y/n (female)

word count: 1.7k 

summary: after a rumour stirs that you have a secret admirer, your neighbour and friend, mark lee begins to drop some, not so subtle, clues on who it might be. will his mission be a success?

//

mark hated lee haechan more than anything in the world right now. the little menace decided to spread the rumour that you had a secret admirer. mark was in panic mode, wanting nothing more than to roll up in a ball and cry.

“what the hell, man? what if she finds out?” mark groaned, holding the bridge of his nose, as haechan continued to giggle.

“would that be so bad? you’ve been pining over her since you became neighbours. isn’t it time for you to finally tell her how you feel?”

“what if she’s disappointed?” haechan immediately stopped laughing, furrowing his eyebrows at his glum faced friend.

“but what if she’s over the moon? you always look for the bad in these situations. you’re confessing to her, you have to” mark knew inside that he was partially right. it had been almost two years since he developed a friendship with you. although you weren’t attached to the hip, you were both friendly towards eachother and spent a fair amount of time together. haechan claimed he had a fool proof plan to ‘get the girl’ so let the games begin...

“hey! y/n, wait up” mark caught up with you as you exited your house.

“oh goodmorning mark” you smiled as you walked over to him, continuing to walk alongside him on your way to school.

“i gotta tell you something” he looks away from you, eyes drawn to the ground. you silently urge him to continue,

“i heard that someone likes you”

you immediately stop in your tracks, your face contorting into confusion yet also, excitement.

“really? do you know who it is?” you trailed slowly behind him, he didn’t even notice you had stopped briefly.

“uh yeah, i’ve got this friend, he doesn’t really want me to tell you who he is yet” you felt your heart sink, is this all some sick prank?

“mark, you don’t have to feed into these rumours-“

“no i’m being serious, you have an admirer” he softly smiled, making you feel slightly more at ease. mark had never lied to you before, why would he start now? you decided not to pry him anymore, wanting to keep this to yourself for the time being. of course you were curious as to who it was, but maybe keeping their identity hidden is giving them the courage to contact you eventually. you were hopeful, and so was mark. he wanted nothing more than for you to make your way to him.

“so is there anything else you wanna tell me about said admirer? is he tall? do i know him?” you begin to become impatient as you sat across from mark at your usual lunch table.

“um he’s kinda my size? i guess. you might know him, he does go to our school” you begin to turn around, scanning your eyes over the courtyard.

“don’t look now! he might be looking” mark hurriedly spoke, not thinking about his words.

“oh so he’s close to where we are?” you grew even more curious than before. you were going to get mark lee to crack, it was the only way.

‘oh fuck’ he thought to himself. what is he going to do now?

//

“mark, it’s honestly killing me! you really can’t tell me who he is? is he really that shy? or am i just intimidating?” you frown as you sit on mark’s couch in his basement. he invited you over sometimes whenever he was bored and needed someone to go over some of his song ideas with. mark was in a band with some of his close friends, they didn’t really have a proper name yet, and had barely played infront of people.

“you’re not intimidating at all! you’re one of the kindest people i know” he quickly jumps to your defence. he hesitates for a moment before continuing,

“well he plays the bass guitar, and oh! he thinks you would like him better if he had a car, kinda feels like a loser for not having one” your mind begins to wind, who do you know that can play bass and has no car...

well jeno was the official bassist of their band...and you remember him complaining at one of their practices that he was late because he had to take the bus. but really? did lee jeno have a crush on you? that seemed unrealistic. you barely had any interactions with him, only greeting him nicely whenever you tuned in to their practices. was mark trying to set you guys up or something?

“is it someone from your band?” mark froze, not expecting you to catch on so quickly. (not like he was being so discrete either)

“uh maybe, maybe not. i don’t know” he begins to ramble.

“i’m beginning to think you’re playing some weird prank on me, mark lee. i hope whoever this guy is, comes to me soon. the suspense is killing me!” and with that, mark knew he needed to speed up the plan.

//

“you gotta tell her soon, your stupid clues are probably making her stressed. and why the hell do you wanna make her stressed?!” haechan gave the older boy a hard smack on the back of the head.

“look, we need a new plan, asap”

“no shit, you’re lucky i’m the damage control” haechan huffed, putting on his figurative thinking cap.

“aha! you’re going to write her a song” mark raised an eyebrow at the younger boy as if he was insane, he can’t write a song in a day, not even a week sometimes.

“not an actual song! just a little snippet of a song describing your feelings, since you can’t seem to say it to her straight out. it’s a brilliant idea and you should thank me” mark understood where he was coming from. maybe if he sat you down, with his guitar and sang to you, it wouldn’t be as awkward or pressuring. lee haechan was in fact a genius.

//

“mark? it’s like 1am, what do you need me for?” you groan from your side of the phone call.

“i need to get something off my chest, meet me at the park in 10” part of you wanted to hang up and fall back asleep, but another part of you was curious as to why mark lee needed you so late in the night. you dressed yourself in a warm puffer jacket before making your way to the playground across from your and mark’s houses.

you saw him sitting on one of the swings, his guitar tucked close to him, his fingers strumming to a random tune.

“this better be good” you sigh, taking a seat on the swing next to him.

“the reason i asked you to come out here is because i haven’t been completely honest with you. i don’t want you to say anything until the song is done, it would really save me the embarrassment” he warned, making you slightly nervous. he took a deep breath, eyes focused on the strings of the guitar, before he began to play.

[ *cue ‘i’ve got this friend’ by 5sos hehe]

“I've got this friend who's crazy about you

I've got this friend who can't be without you

I've got this friend and I wish I could see

See what you'd say if I told you it was me

I want to tell you to see what you'd say

Before I jump in and I ask for that date

I've been that friend

I've been that friend and I wish I could see

How this would end if you knew it was me?”

your heart melted at each lyric. mark lee had been that ‘friend’ all along. the mark that always waited for you to walk to school together. the mark that always brought you home bubble tea when you were feeling down. the mark that always invited you over just because he enjoyed the company. it was him. it was always him.

you felt tears begin to fill your eyes, causing mark to place his guitar down and stand across from you, holding your shoulders gently.

“d-did i say something wrong? did i mess things up? i’m so sorry, y/n. i should have come clean so-“

“no mark, i’m not mad or sad! i’m just really overwhelmed. here i was thinking that this was all some silly joke when the whole time, you were my admirer” you slightly sniffled at the last part, making mark’s heart swoon. he wiped a tear that fell from your eye, as you leant into his warm palm.

“i don’t need you to say you like me back or anything, i just couldn’t go on with life without you knowing”

“i understand. and trust me, i’ve always seen you as my cute next door neighbour. and honestly, i’d be lying if i said that i haven’t thought about dating you” you felt heat rise to your cheeks, hoping he wouldn’t notice due to the cold.

“but all those clues! it must have been so entertaining to watch me struggle with piecing it all together! everything makes sense now, except for the bass guitar one. i thought you were just the lead guitarist?” you furrowed your eyebrows as mark began to chuckle.

“i kinda slipped up there, i can play both guitar and bass. i was actually the initial bassist of the band until we found jeno” mark explained, making you feel even more stupid.

“gosh, there i was thinking that jeno was my admirer” you saw mark begin to frown, causing you to stand and face him.

“but don’t worry about him, all my attention and focus will be on you now!” you smiled with glee, watching as mark copied your expression. he leaned down close to you, placing a small peck to your cheek, his breath slowly fanning your cheeks.

“so what do you say? go on a date with me?”

“of course, tell your little ‘friend’ he finally got the girl” you pulled him into a warm embrace, feeling him melt in your arms.

it was safe to say that you and mark didn’t remain friends for much longer.

[writingsfromhome]

Sorry x Rare

A/N: I got two lyric requests for Sorry by Beyonce and Rare by Selena Gomez. They were both sort of two sides of the same coin so I wrote them together it mostly goes from rare to sorry. Thanks for the requests, fingers crossed it lives up to what you wanted! <3

Synopsis: You and Harry have been together for a long time but he’s not the same man you fell in love with anymore.

-----

I move my dinner around on my plate, my gaze on the man pacing outside the restaurant on his phone. My man. But it didn't really feel like that these days. These days, Harry was a stranger to me--late nights, phone calls interrupting dinner, waking up to find him gone and not even sure if he'd come home at all.

I watch him remove the phone from his ear in a rush, stare at it, and then shove it aggressively in his pocket. He walks back in, cheeks pink and huffing.

"Should we ask for the bill?" He sits down in a flurry. I stare at his barely-eaten meal and my own dinner mashed to bits.

"We've barely had dinner."

"Babe, we've been here for over an hour since..." he takes his phone back out to inform me of how much time exactly but something must catch his attention because his sentence dies on his lips. I stare, he was so distant lately. "I'll drop you off at home, I've got to meet the boys they decided to talk business-"

"It's 8pm on a Thursday," I state the obvious. "Can't you catch up with them la-"

"This isn't an argument Y/N," Harry finally looks at me. He was done discussing it. He lifts his hands to the waiter and a minute later dinner's been paid for. He wasn't my baby, I think as we stroll outside to his car. I don't know who this man was.

***

I wake up the next morning with the weight of Harry on the other side of the bed. I could smell him, the booze sitting in his pores.

“Ugh,” I groan, not wanting to smell that first thing in the morning. I get up and start my day before I head to work. Soon, Harry appears squinting as I stir sugar into my coffee.

“I need a coffee,” he says, his voice hoarse. It used to sound sexy but now it was just another reminder that things changed. We lived like roommates and it hurt that he never wanted to talk. Half the time, he acted like I wasn’t even there.

I watch him settle with his coffee, taking the first sip and letting out a deep breath. A memory comes to me suddenly, the first year we were dating,

“I think this is the best coffee I’ve ever had,” it was the first night Harry had stayed the whole night and I’d made him coffee in my outdated coffee maker. It came out burnt half the time but that morning’s cup was decent. We’re swaddled in my blankets--the room I rented back then had poor circulation in the winter.

“I think you’re still slightly drunk,” I lean my shoulder against his and cup the warm drink. “I’ve definitely had better coffees.”

“Maybe coffees are just better the morning after,” he says, glancing at me and I know he can see the flush on my cheeks. He knew I was shy talking about certain things in the light of day.

“We can say that,” I mumble into the cup. “It’s just nice to have a heat source.”

“Here,” he takes the cup from me and reaches over to put both on the nightstand.

“Hey I wasn’t done with that.”

“I know but if you’re cold, I know this other heat source--it even works for hypothermia.”

His statement causes a blood rush that warms me already but I don’t say no to what he has in mind. I could make us another cup later.

Harry catches me staring when he looks over and raises an eyebrow. I snap out of my thoughts and twist my lips into a smile, looking back at my own drink bitterly. Who was this man in front of me? Out loud, I ask: “How was your night? You came in late.”

“I was out with the boys.” he says in a tone that meant he didn’t want to talk about it. “It got late.”

“A text would’ve been nice,” I say, still looking at my cup.

“S’not like you were waiting up,” he turns to walk back towards the bedroom.

“Learned not to,” I mumble but I know he’s heard me with the way he pauses. But he didn’t care enough to argue, dispute it, nothing. He leaves.

***

"Guess who just made a commission that's more than I used to earn in a year?" April walks into the small office, an infectious grin on her face.

"You sold him on it?" I put away the file I'm working on and jump up to hug my friend.

"I had to flirt a little--give him a vivid picture of what he could have there, and he signed! I'm bloody brilliant."

April was my American ex-pat who I met when she was looking for a flat a few years ago. And now here she was, working for me at the small real estate office I managed with a few other people I considered friends.

"Do you know if he was single?" I tune back in to hear Janelle asking.

"No, don't give her bad advice!" I scold Janelle. “We don’t date clients.”

"I'm miserably single," April pouts. "I'll take advice even if it’s bad."

"Bad advice is to stay with your college sweetheart to the point where you're not sure he even cares about you." I say to no one in particular. It was just us in the office today, and they knew everything about my life so I didn't care much. But the pin-drop silence that follows is different. I look up to see my friends eyeing each other. "What?"

"Nothing." They stay tight lipped but I push and they crack. "Well, so...we know things are rocky between you and Harry..."

"Things aren't rocky," I clarify. "They're just...nonexistent."

"Right," April slides closer. "Soo, we saw him at the club yesterday."

I raise my eyebrow, "He told me he was meeting up with his boys."

"Oh!" They sound surprised I know, but they look at each other again so I push them. "He was...there was a girl? Sitting on his lap for most of the night? Like, nothing happened I don't think so?" She turns to look at April at the end of each sentence.

Personally, I feel gut-punched even though I suspected this. I knew he wasn't where he said he was going to be sometimes, or with who he said he was going to be with. But he cut our own dinner short last night to be with strangers yesterday? I grip the pen in my hand.

"Y/N honestly...you know we love you and support you. But, you're a special girl and you deserve better than that sod."

"Yeah," Janelle puts her hand on my shoulder. "You're a gem Y/N. There's someone else out there who's gonna see how rare you are."

"I know," I blow my cheeks out. We'd had different conversations like this before, although never this direct. I guess we'd never had direct proof of what my husband was doing until now though.

"He's an idiot not knowing you're so rare," my friends try to comfort me. I feel my eyes well up and I swipe at them. I wasn't going to cry at work but they must sense the tears because they excuse themselves, "We're going to get you a tea, and some pastries to celebrate April's sale. April?"

I keep my face buried in my hands as they leave, take a few deep breaths. "I am rare," I say to myself but even that makes me laugh bitterly. Harry and I had been together for 5 years and here I was trying to count up all the reasons we should stay together when he didn't even care. He was out with other women, and I was waiting around for him.

"I'm rare," I say again. "I'm special, I deserve better. I...deserve better."

When will u be home tonight? I text Harry before I lose my nerve.

Busy he says. That’s it. And then, Why?

What time? I ask again.

8 or so, he responds.

Okay, we need to talk then. I put my phone away, too scared what he might text back. A tear falls from my cheek onto my keyboard, landing on the letter H. It mocks me. I wipe it off, and before I can think about what I'm doing I smash the letter down with my fist. I stand up and walk to the back of the office, a window overlooks the busy street. I'd had enough, I decide. Fuck Harry.

I’m not sure how long I stand there stewing, but my friends walking in with pastries and tea ends the emotional boiling pot from overflowing.

"Thanks," I take the cup from them.

“So we were talking and...” April looks at Janelle and she nods. “You should come out with us some time. Like...tonight. Dance with us, with other people...”

“I...I’ve got something at 8,” I come up with an excuse. As angry as I was, I wanted to have this conversation. It was long overdue.

***

I check my time again, the last text Harry sent me Ok. But it was 8:25 and Harry still wasn’t home. I’d give him five more minutes, I decide. I’d already tried to ring him with no answer.

I stare at the ring on my finger, it was supposed to symbolize a promise he made to me. What a fucking joke. I should’ve never said I do in the first place.

Was it young love, I wonder. Did we do this too fast and we were just set up to fail? But I remember the good memories, the soft and sweet times between us.

“I-I’ve never done something like this before,” I tell Harry. “I hate heights.”

“Listen,” he crowds around me, blocking my view of his friends who are walking up the narrow trail like it was any old walkway. “You go in front of me, I’ll have my hand on your back the whole time. I won’t let you fall. I promise.”

I look up into those gentle eyes and swallow my fear. “Okay.”

“I promise it will be so worth it,” he gushes, his excitement uncaged now that I’d agreed. “There’s no lights there so the stars are so bloody bright--I know you’re going to love it!”

I can’t help it, my lips crack into a smile at his boyish excitement. He catches it and pauses, a breath in this whirlwind of a night. What started out as a house party turned into a walk to a local beach which turned into a hike into the woods and up a precarious--and very steep--ridge to get to an isolated lookout. Only with Harry did I find myself in these situations. And I loved it. I loved him, I realise then. My expression must change because he tugs on my hand, probably worried I’d change my answer.

“Walk ahead,” he instructs and I nearly tip toe on the ridge that’s at least 30 feet across. But his steady hand on my back pushes me gently and I walk across confidently until I look down 2/3 of the way. I freeze in place but Harry’s ready. “Y/N, you’re safe here. Look at me-look...”

I crane my neck and he grounds me, oh my god how did I just realise now how in love I was with him? He squeezes my hand, asks if I was okay. I had to be, I couldn’t stay stuck in the middle.

Inch by inch we finally make it to the other side and I jump off with a yelp which sets Harry off in a burst of laughter. Pretty soon he’s lifted me over his shoulder and carries me to the lookout on the edge. My feet had been through enough, he’d said.

And he was right--it was so worth it; the view with all the stars laid out. The buildings and their light pollution below were blocked out by the outcrops and it made the stars twinkle in all their glory. It made it the perfect place to be with the person I loved.

“Isn’t it the most incredible view?” Harry whispers in awe behind me, his arms wrapping around my waist.

“I.....I have no words apparently,” I laugh and turn in his arms. “Thanks for pushing me, this...it was worth it.”

He tucks a strand of hair behind my ears and gazes at me in a way that makes me want to squirm. But I hold his gaze.

“Do you know how beautiful you are?” he asks with a smile.

“Compared to the view,” I glance behind us. “I guess I’m alright.”

“No,” he guides my face back towards his. “This view over that one, any day. M’just that lucky.”

My words die on my lips as I’m overwhelmed by this feeling between us, the one I thought would keep us together like this forever.

He raises an eyebrow when I go silent and I shrug, “I’m all out of words today.”

I close my eyes as he kisses my temple. I turn back around and we spend the moment in silence, drinking in the view. His friends chatter around us but they’re background noise. My life felt like a movie right now.

Before we leave as a group, I tug Harry back. This was a good as place as any to tell him. I press my lips to his, and it takes him a second but he’s kissing me back. Before it can get carried away I push away and tell him what I’d been thinking all night, “I love you.”

He takes a step back, and then he’s grinning and pulling me back. “I love you! I love you listen, I’ve been wanting to say that for weeks!”

“Weeks?!”

“Yeah weeks! My sister said it was too soon, I might scare you off!”

I think about a few weeks ago, I was intensely shy around him even then. Maybe she was right, but the idea that he talked about me to his sister makes me flush. I wrap my arms around his waist “I just...this moment is so perfect. I never want it to end.”

“It doesn’t have to.” he’d promised. “I’m yours forever Y/N.”

When 8:30 comes and goes I call April, she lets me know where they were. “We’re so happy you’re coming! Are you sure you don’t want us to meet you somewhere else?” she shouts into the phone. When I tell her I just wanted to be where they were she reminds me to text them when I was nearby.

I have to dig into the back of my closet, past the pantsuits I wore to work, the casual dresses and loungewear. I still had some of my old party clothes, just a bit tighter than they used to be. But for where I was going, it would fit in.

Before I leave, I take a pen and scrawl a note: “Great talk"

My friends spot me as I walk in. The music is instantly too loud, the lights too bright, and there are too many people. But one of my them shoves a drink in my hand and pretty soon it’s the best place on earth. It was exactly where I needed to be. I turn off my cellphone and enjoy myself.

After a certain point, I don’t even know who I’m talking to, but pressed up against a body, feeling wanted, it drives me to keep dancing all night. Eventually, I crash at April’s and don’t roll out of hers until 11 the next morning. Harry’s barely an afterthought until I’m tucked in the taxicab taking me home and turn on my phone. 8 missed calls, 2 voicemails and 13 texts.

I’m shocked at the volume, Harry hadn’t blown up my phone like this in over a year. I listen to one voicemail: “Where the hell are you? I come home an hour late and you’re bloody gone with this stupid note here. Pick up! I’ve called you a billion times.”

I stare at my phone, I hadn’t heard Harry this passionate since...well it was a long time. And all it took was going out late and not answering his calls, giving him a taste of his own medicine. It almost makes me angrier; I had to partake in this juvenile dance to get his attention, even though we’d been married nearly 2 years.

He’s on a call when I get home, talking numbers or something. I head directly to the shower, clean up, and take my sweet time. It must’ve driven him mad waiting for me because by the time I’m out he blows a gasket.

“What’s this stunt you pulled last night? Wanting to talk and leaving me a stupid sarcastic note just because I’m late? Where were you?”

“Out,” I shrug. “I didn’t know you were late. You didn’t text.”

“I didn’t tex--oh I see, now we’re being petty yeah?”

That irked me, “I’m not being petty. It’s not like I get the same courtesy when you’re out late!”

“I’m busy, I can’t always be texting you!”

Excuses, I laugh and he looks at me like I’m crazy. “Busy what? Screwing other women-”

“Don’t be making shit up-”

“I’ve had people tell me that they see you with other women Harry! S’not a far stretch!”

That quiets him. Finally, he comes forward to stand inches away. “Y/N, c’mon. You and me...this is stupid. Sure I go out to party but I’m not-”

“Stop.” he was actually trying to talk his way out of this. And because I’d rather step in front of an oncoming train than cry in front of him, I head to the front door and walk out. I’d find someplace to crash today, but I wasn’t doing this.

***

“How’re you doing?” Janelle asks. I’d shown up at her doorstep and she set up her guest bed. She had plans so I spent most of my time burying myself in work, trying to get rid of all that angry energy pent up in me. Janelle had just come home.

“I’m just trying to move on. I don’t want to talk about him, I just don’t care at this point--I’m fed up!”

“As you should be,” she agrees. “Listen, I know we had a crazy night yesterday but I’m going out with some friends today and...maybe it’ll help you?”

I think about the killer headache this morning, but I also remember how good it felt to forget for a bit. I agree. Before I know it, Janelle’s found something that fits me and we’re back at a different club than the night before. Her friends are familiar faces but after a few drinks we’re all best friends. It feels great. Until I spot Harry’s face.

“That’s enough,” his face looms over mine as he pushes away the man I’m up against.

“What the fuck Harry...” I trail off as he pulls me away from the middle of the crowd. I try to pry his hand off but there’s too many people and he’s moving too quickly...and I’ve had a lot of drinks. “Let me go!” I say when we finally step away. We’re in what must be a private room. He seemed familiar with it--of course.

“So just because you heard I’m out and about some nights, you decide to come here and fuck around with random men?”

“Excuse me?” I stare at him, he was out of his mind. “I’m out having fun with my friends! I’m not here because of you.”

“Really? You come to the same place I come to all the time and dance with these strangers? And you’re drunk as fuck!”

“Since when did you care?” I ask. “Just leave me alone. You’ve been doing that perfectly fine the last few months.”

“I’m your bloody husband Y/N, you can’t just-”

“Then act like one!” I shout, and in the muffled quiet of the room with the bass thumping through it rings out. “I don’t need you! And you made it clear you don’t need me. These rings are a fucking joke, here-” I take mine off and throw it at him.

“You don’t mean it-”

“I do.” I give him a level stare, suddenly clear-headed. Maybe I’d process it later, but right now I was finally seeing what he’d become. He deserved to feel how I felt, and quite frankly, I didn’t give a fuck. I flip him with both hands, “Quite frankly Harry, you can suck my d-”

“Harry!” A shrill voice rings out from the entrance that now carries the loud beats of the dance floor, swallowing my words. “Liam told me you were here!”

I glance at the brunette in the doorway and back at him. I couldn’t even muster an eye roll; I had enough.

“Y/N!” Harry calls my name as I walk out.

“No it’s me, Becky?!” she tries to correct him. I can’t help but laugh as I make my way back to my friends with a drink in my hand, feeling free.

***

“Y/N, it’s Harry. I don’t know how it got this shite just please call me back. Just give me five minutes that’s all I n--message deleted”

“He’s moved on to the office phone then?” Janelle asks, her desk was beside mine so she’d heard him as I checked my messages. It was two weeks since that glorious night when I’d dumped Harry’s ass. Although a lot of my things were still at our house, I was just staying in a hotel right now while I figured things out. One thing I knew for sure though, I didn’t want to see him again.

“It’s pretty pathetic,” I say. It was also pathetic how long I’d stayed waiting around for us to be magically fixed. But that was something I was working on getting past.

“You’re glowing without him,” April says from where she’s getting her files together. “Haven’t you got that showing out east?”

“Yeah, oh god is that the time?” I rush to get my files in order. “I’ll catch up with you later-”

“We’re still getting drinks after?”

“Yes, drinks!” I call out as I leave the office and head down to the lobby. I don’t expect Harry there, and I barely have time for him as he comes up to keep my pace.

“Harry, I’ve got somewhere to be please leave me alone.”

“Y/N, wait just please listen to me.”

“No.”

“2 minutes!”

“Not even 1,” I spot my cab out front and head towards it. I’m about to get in but Harry holds the door. “Harry let go I’m going to be late.”

“Just let me talk to you, please!”

I finally look at him and he’s quite a sight. His hair is matted and without it’s usual bounce. He’s got a rough look and a 5 ‘o clock shadow.

“You had plenty of time to talk to me for months, you were too busy at the club. Sorry not sorry,” I tug at the door and he lets go, I don’t spare a backwards glance as we drive away.

One of the showings is successful, I manage to sell the family on the home and we set up a meeting to go over details at my office later in the week. I’ve got a bounce in my step as I return to the office. I tell the girls I’d meet them at the bar as I finalize my papers at the office. My bounce falters when I go head out after 5 to see Harry waiting outside the building.

“Y/N,” he calls out when he sees me. “I’m not going to leave until you talk to me.”

“That’s called stalking,” I say. A few people walking past us turn to glance at him and he notices. He moves to the inside lobby and asks me to follow. With a big sigh I do.

“I know what I did.” he begins.

“Congratulations,” I roll my eyes.

“No wait, I know what I did to you. And sorry can’t cover it. Just let me make it up to you, we have history and-”

“You don’t get it.” I stop his monologue from going any further. “I’m gonna be just fine. Without you. You didn’t care about our history until you couldn’t have me. I don’t know what happened to you Harry, but you’re not the man I fell in love with-”

“I know,” he says, tears of frustration coating his lashes. “I fucked up, I-I didn’t see what I had right in front of me and I just-”

“Let her slip away? Is that the best you can come up with?” I scoff. “You know what Harry? I’m done with this! Boy...bye.”

“Y/N just--” he grabs my arm before I can leave and pushes something cold into my palm. My wedding ring.

“I don’t want this,” I push it back in his hand.

“Please just take it--hold onto it,” he pushes it back into mine and closes my fingers over it. “I can’t...I can’t hold onto it just take it! You don’t even have to think about it-”

“Harry,” I soften my tone. He was desperate and even though some part of me thought it was about time he felt this type of way, my heart hurt a little. I didn’t want him to see that though so I just tuck the ring into the pocket of his button up and pat it. “Goodbye Harry.”

I walk away with my head held high even though he calls out to me. I walk the few blocks to where my friends are waiting and their warm smiles are enough to help me push the memory of Harry’s teary eyes, and the real history we did have once upon a time away. I was done with him, no longer thinking about him.

I just kept telling myself, I was rare like a gem and I had to see that. And maybe one day, someone else will too.

[valeriwa]

“I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY YOU GIRLS BOTHER AT THIS POINT”

about! - inspired from that one kagehina tiktok, the lyrics are by nicki minaj lmao (full: “i don’t even know why you girls bother at this point // like give it up // it’s me, i win, you lose!)

from val! - what even is this- sorry this is brainrot  🤚

characters! - oikawa tooru, miya atsumu [gn!reader]

warnings! - crack?? like intimidation ig + there’s kissing too + it gets hot in tsumu’s cause he’s a horny piece of shit

OIKAWA TOORU

you hate his fangirls tbh

don’t get me wrong, you’re proud that he’s appreciated and you’re glad that people are giving credit where credit is due

but like can people just move the back up tf is wrong them

it’d been almost seven minutes since oikawa was talking with his fanclub, even though you clearly stated that he could go for only five minutes. it’s not like you’re controlling, but you two had been planning this date for almost a month and your mood worsened because of those damn fangirls.

honestly you had enough, you shouldn’t even have to deal with this. you know oikawa can’t help his flirty nature, and he does draw clear lines with his fans. but sometimes reminders are good too, right? 

and you walked up to them, shoving gently pushing some of the girls to get to your boyfriend. he didn’t notice as he looked at the girl who was talking how she slaved away to make this heavenly batch of cookies. 

and then you decided to make your move, taking the bag as she held it out and slinging an arm around tooru. 

“honestly, i don’t even know why you girls bother at this point, like give it up,” you opened the bag and took a bite of the cookie (you had to admit, it was heavenly).

“you lose, i win.” and with that, you pushed your boyfriend out of there as he didn’t stop to tease you.

“oooh is my y/n jealous?”

“no, your y/n is sick and tired.” that mf has the audacity to ignore you and eat the rest of the cookies. 

MIYA ATSUMU

his fangirls are obnoxious ngl just like him

and you don’t really mind his fangirls as long as they don’t cross a line

atsumu doesn’t really give them the time of day anyway

they don’t really care and you decide it’s time for them to care because this pisshead setter is yours and you’re not about to share

his fanclub was following him again, it was kind of creepy tbh. you were sure if the genders were reversed, someone would’ve called the police or something. anyway, you couldn’t find the slightest privacy because of his fangirls.

atsumu didn’t mind so much, like he’d definitely kiss you in front of everyone. so no problem. but you’d just like some privacy you were promised when you were born as a human.

so you think it’s time to give his fanclub a piece of your mind.

right now, atsumu was turned towards one of the girls probably telling them to bother his twin or something along that line. 

and you grabbed his collar and pulled his mouth on yours, but pulled away before he could reciprocate, you broke apart. then looked to his fangirls.

“i don’t why you girls bother at this point, i win, you lose.” then you dragged atsumu by the collar to lord knows where and shouted a “he’s mine, girls!”

after atsumu was over this, he pinned you against the wall and his lips were almost grazing your ear. 

“i’m yours, eh?”

[latenightdecaf]

Entry 7 - Summer of Vulnerability

part of let the pile of good things grow series - series masterlist

previous entry here

Yoongi x reader

Ft. nonidol!bts (glimpse of ex-boyfriend!namjoon)

Producer!yoongi, roommate!yoongi, soft!yoongi

slow burn romance, friendship, slice of life

series of drabbles/one shots

warnings: alcohol consumption

a/n: okay so here goes y/n remembering his ex!joon also will never get over of in the soop yoongi! can’t wait for the new season. Thank you guys for reading! 🙈

word count: 2,546

Went home from the grocery and some of their wines are on sale so you got carried away and bought 8 bottles and to your surprise, Yoongi’s cooking steak. “oh my God!” You exclaimed as soon as you saw him cooking in the kitchen with paperbag of wines in your arms. Yoongi looked at you with a confused face.

“Did you just read my mind or what??! There’s a sale on the corner deli and…” raising both of your hands as if surrendering, “okay don’t judge me yet but i got a little carried away.”

“A little carried away? You looked like the world’s going to run out of wine tomorrow.”

He smiled on your disclaimer and shaking his head as he paid his attention back to his steak.

“No.” You sighed. “Nothing went my way today, not at all—but i dont want to think about it. I’m psyching myself out of it you see, or better yet i’m drowning myself on these babies.” As you drank your first glass empty. “My eternal companion, the love of my life…”

He turned to your direction, only to see you hugging the bottles of wine that you bought.

He turned to your direction, only to see you hugging the bottles of wine that you bought.

“Come on clear the tables, your babies are not going anywhere.” He declared as he puts down 3 steaks and some aglio olio with honestly way too much garlic because it’s Yoongi.

“I didn’t saw you made pasta also. I am so happy now.” You happily exclaimed as you took a bite of your new favorite steak. “But why the 3 steaks? You hungry?”

He sat in front of you, filling your glass with wine and his too.

“You need food before you chug them all up. I’m not gonna clean up your mess. So you better get it together today. I tell you.” He scolded you.

“Sure sure.” As you immediately devour the pasta he made.

One bottle of wine down. He let you listened to a ‘sketch’ he’s been working on lately. Carefully studying your already flushed face for any reaction. He does this sometimes, ask for your opinion even though you have zero idea about music and producing or anything related to that for that matter.

All he considers is whether you winced at the melody of it, or you nod and eventually smile as it goes. But this time you’re just staring blankly in your wine glass, circling it repeatedly as the sketch ended at exactly 2 mins and 19 secs. And when it ended you looked straight at him.

“This looks like it’s almost done right?” You commented. “Yeah.” As he gulps on his wine, emptying another glass.

“And you wrote the lyrics also?” He nodded.

You looked away and sighed. “It’s too beautiful—Sad and in pain, feels tormented also but beautiful.”

He blinked several times at your words. You’ve heard several of his sketches before and you’d just always say, ‘it sounds good, but Yoongi—i have no idea about music. Zero.’ But he’d let you hear it anyway for couple more times and he’d smile at your ignorant reactions.

This time however, doesn’t seem like a laughing matter. Something about your words got his heart beating faster and he has no idea if its just the amount of alcohol he has consumed by now or just you.

You clinked on his empty glass. And asked, “You want more?” He nodded. And you poured him another. “Remember the girl, I introduced to you before?” You stopped and think for a second and it dawned to you. “Hell yeah, I remember.”

“She’s actually my ex-girlfriend.” He declared.

“Well that I did not expected. The ex part. I can tell though she looks really special.”

“Well, we’re together for a while. But now we’re just co-workers for this debut song of a girl I told you about before. That’s why she was here also the last time, we were looking through old sketches that I have after the meeting. We actually finished that quite early. ”

He never really talked that much about himself. He’s good at talking about work, which for you is already more than enough. You know that despite your living situation, he’s not really obligated to get personal if he doesnt want to. And besides, you also don’t want to. Your end of the rope for sure is scared of any form of vulnerability anyway—so you’re not expecting or demanding that from anybody else.

“So you’re just co-workers now?”

“Yeah, I think so. I really don’t know what I feel.”

“Well, relationships are messy my friend.” Raising your glass of wine as if to cheers and chugging it in one go.

Not sure of what to say next but he looks like he’s in mood to talk but the topic looks too sensitive to even crack a joke so you continued drinking despite the eerie atmosphere.

“If you dont mind me asking, what happened?” Yes, despite your immense effort to hold yourself back. Like any other novel you read, you have this eager feeling to know how it ends. Your mind is literally shouting, ‘But I gots to know!!’

And so you asked. Half fearing for your life for being too nosy and half expecting that you might be up for a good story. Elbows resting on the table, with your chin at the palm of your hand looking eager to hear the story.

“We’ve been together for a while”

“Yeah, you said that already.. and that she’s a song writer. I figured.” Unconsciously saying your thoughts out loud.

“You wanna tell the story instead?” He teasingly reacted in a straight face.

“I didn’t mean to say that out loud… I literally said that in my mind and my mouth just burst it open. They both can’t coordinate that well. I’m sorry. You may continue…sir. Please don’t cut my head off.” You love teasing him.

“You’re drunk.” He was pointing out the obvious by that time, after two bottles of wine.

“Yes she’s a songwriter. They said before thay she’s the words to my melody. Well… before.”

Something about those words just made your heart ache. Frowning in his words you continue to listen.

“We’re together for about 2 years? And then on and off after…. She cheated on me, slept with another producer from another company. I really thought that was the end but after that i still accepted her. I don’t know why.”

“Aigoo you dumbass solider of love. And then??” Continuously frowning in frustration led you to keep on drinking.

He has no plans of actually telling this story tonight, it just poured out. You’re just one of those people that actually listens. He has seen you before, how intensely you focus on a movie or in a book that it bothers you for day. You love hearing stories and your willingness felt like a safe space for his unspoken scars.

“She keeps coming back to me and I keep accepting her. That’s it.”

With a confused look on your face, “I don’t get it.”

“Like you said, relationships are messy.” He’s obviously trying to close the topic already but that’s not going to stop you—you never stop midway of the story. This is not how it ends.

“Messy is one thing, toxic is another. And since when are you a coward? You don’t strike me as one. Really.” ‘Yeah i was.’ Yoongi thought in his head. Words are just literally pouring out of your mouth by now, drowning yet another glass. Yoongi opening your forth bottle.

“Boy, I bought the wrong alcohol tonight, tequila would’ve been perfect.” You declared as he pours you a refill. He laughed at this comment, he kept wondering sometimes how easy it is for you to make him laugh.

“No but all kidding aside… Hard question coming in, Min Yoongi. Do you still love her?” Looking right at his eyes and him staring back at you as he answered. “No, we broke up a month before I moved in here.”

‘That’s quite a while, at least 9 or 10 months now…’ you thought to yourself

“Yeah but having been broken up doesn’t mean that love is gone. It’s not a switch you know.”

“I know. And I wish it was, she’s was a big part of my life I’m not denying that and maybe she always will be. But I’ve changed, she has changed—we’re no longer the same people that we were in the same relationship where I keep questioning my self worth. That’s done now, over. Love took a turn, and it doesn’t look the same anymore. We’re just co-workers now that’s all.”

You like the way he said it. Being no longer the same people that they were. You nodded in his statement not sure what to say next and also feeling a little dizzy.

“I gotta pee.” You suddenly declared and stood up, ran in small steps to the bathroom with Yoongi smiling at you and shaking his head.

And when you got back, he got you a warm water on your favorite mug.

Your thoughts are all over the place when you’re drunk, like you said—your mouth just spills it all out.

“You know what, this is all very brave of you. Being friends with your ex, I can’t imagine.”

“Why? Can’t you?” Staring blankly and holding onto your mug, eyes blinking fast in this question.

“I’m not sure. I’ve never really done it before, I’ll let you know if I can.”

You’ve been staring hard on your mug contemplating on his question. He gently touched your hand that’s been holding your mug and said, “Just drink your water.” And pulled it away as soon as you looked like your soul has comeback to earth.

“Can’t I…?” You repeated the question again, and this time out loud.

Hands underneath your chin and resting your elbows on the table. Yoongi is just staring at you, hands in his cheeks—thumb underneath his chin, not even sure if you can even see him. “I hate your question.” You looked at his eyes this time and said that and he just smiled and when he did, you narrowed your eyes. “I hate your smile too.” And this time, he gave you an even bigger one, those gummy smile. And whenever he smiles at you like that you just can’t help but grin in return.

You chugged the water and showed him your empty mug.

He got up and put the rest of the unopened bottle of wine back to the fridge just to prevent you from opening yet another. With his back facing you, arranging the couple of bottles left unto your fridge.

“Yoongi-ah, I know and I love how we respect each other’s privacy and all but just in case things get too heavy. I’m always here, you know. I mean, I’m really glad about today.”

He looked back at you, hands underneath your chin again and eyelids looking all heavy.

“Same goes for you, I’m always here…” And he turned his back again, “fixing you some food and light bulbs.”

And that statement made you smile. “Indeed, my friend. Indeed.”

He went back to the table and grabbed your wine glass and emptying it for you.

“So you wanna talk about how nothing went right today?” You sighed with your eyes closed.

“Maybe next time, my friend.” You stood up from the dinning table, offered to clean the rest of the dishes but Yoongi insisted that he’d do it instead. So you just nodded and slowly creep back into your room.

“Thanks for today, Yoongi.” You thanked him before you go, peeking behind the wall near the counter and he just smiled at you, cleaning gloves on and started washing the dishes.

Minutes later, you shouted from inside of your room.

“Hey i’ll be in the bathroom for a while. Hope you’re already done using it.”

Yoongi didnt answer. He’s already in his room.

You sat in the tub filled with water that is too hot for anyone else but not for you. Head all dizzy and pounding. It’s 2 am and nothing is more comforting than the silence of it all. Alcohol keeps you awake, more than coffee ever does. The dizziness, the feeling that is drilling in your head, makes it hard for you to sleep. Despite the fact that you always drink. You always drink on an empty stomach though, just so you’re sure you would pass out and not have a hard time sleeping.

But tonight you can’t say no—Yoongi made dinner and as much as you hate how you’re having a hard time now you don’t regret it. The question he said, still lingers. And you know your answer to this, you can’t.

Along with the headache, comes the memories you rarely remember—there are just some special days where somehow the guilt and regret still comes to you in waves, together with conversations you long to let go.

“You can’t be serious?” Joon said, voice cracking with hand on his hair in frustration. “But I am.” With a straight face you answered, “I can’t marry you, Joon. I don’t want to have kids and I know how much you want to have children.” Feeling the desperation in his face and actions, he held your hands close and hugged you. “I love you, I want to marry you. We don’t need to have kids immediately, that’s years away. We don’t have to even worry about that now.” It hurts you to seem him this way, yes both of you may be young—maybe you will change your mind but there’s no guarantee to it. You held onto his shoulder to see his face, tears kept rolling down his face and you keep wiping it off one by one. You’ve thought about this even just a year into the relationship, with all the dad jokes and tiny little shoes he kept in his room. He’s going to be a wonderful dad you thought—maybe not just to your kids because you don’t want one.

The most wonderful man in the world just asked you to marry him a few minutes ago, and now he’s crying on your shoulder in defeat. While you can’t even bring yourself to cry, everything about this just made you numb. You just know you’re doing the right thing. Keeping him by your side with a promise of a future you can’t guarantee is not what love is. You loved him—even much so that you could ever admit.

With the knock on the door, you went back to reality.

“Hey you in there?” His voice echoing at 2 in the morning.

“Yeah, I’ll be here still for a while. You need it?”

“No, it’s okay.” He quietly said, as you heard his footsteps getting farther away.

moodboard sr: x

[honeypirate]

Quick drabbles about sweet moments I would like to have with some of my favorite characters.

Fem reader sometimes

Fire force

Benimaru

He comes into your room with a sigh, closing the door quietly before kneeling at the bottom of your bed and crawling up between your legs, pushing his head under your hands holding your book and laying his head against your chest. You chuckle and set your book aside before running your fingers through his hair “hello sweetheart” you say and he pushes up so his face was in your neck now, kissing the skin softly “hello” he says and sighs into your neck. “I missed you” you say and he nods into your neck “I missed you” he says and you wrap your arms around his shoulders, hugging him tighter to you and kissing the top of his head.

Konro

You sit behind him in the bath, the hot water up to your shoulders and you lay your head against his back as he tells you about his day, his hands brushing up and down your legs beside him. You were careful to avoid the charred marks on his neck, arms, and back as you careful washed him, leaving kisses around them. You took care of him better than anyone and he felt the love you had for him every time you helped him, you never made him feel like a burden or anything less than, you made him feel comfortable in his own skin. “God I love you so much” he whispers as you finish washing his hair “it’s my turn now” he says and you carefully switch places with him, his large hands gently washing your body and kissing your neck. He washes your hair and then spends extra time running his fingers through it, loving the soft feel in his hands. You run your fingertips against his legs and up to his thighs as you talk and relax until the water gets too cold.

Obi Akitaru

He throws you over his shoulder after you get back to the compound, you giggle and lightly hit his back “Obi! Put me down!” He laughs and slaps your butt “not gonna happen. My girl was injured so I gotta carry her in” you sigh and relax in his hold “ It’s just a little burn! On my arm! I can still walk” he laughs but doesn’t set you down until you’re in his private bathroom. He helps you out of your fire force coat and pants before taking off his own, leaving you in just your underwear and a tank top and him in boxers. You smile softly up at his as he gently washes the soot off your cheeks and neck. “You’re so beautiful sweetheart” he says and you blush, reaching up and cupping his cheek with a smile “you’re not so bad yourself” you say and he grins. You take the washcloth from his hand and rinse it out before gently washing the soot off his cheeks for him “let’s hop in a shower so we can do this properly” he says as he dips down to capture your lips in his.

Hinawa

You push the kitchen door open quietly and peak in at him, he’s singing along to a old record he borrowed from Obi, some jazz from before the cataclysm. You watched him cook and sing, butterflies in your belly from how adorable it is. His voice was perfect for this kind of music and it smelled like he was making your favorite meal. You walk over to him and wrap your arms around his middle, his singing turning into a low chuckle. “Hey sweetheart” he says and you smile, placing a kiss against his shirt on his spine “it smells good but I want to know....are you on the menu for tonight?” you say and his hand holds yours on his stomach “naughty girl” he says before taking the pan of the heat and turning around in your arms, he holds both of your cheeks and you look up at him, your chin on his chest. His eyes were dark, you could see the lust in his eyes and the adoration he has for you. You stand on your tiptoes, meeting him halfway as he captures your lips his.

Haikyuu

Aone

Sitting in the living room, leaning against him on the couch as you both read together. His arm around you as he scrolls through his book on his tablet, your head against his arm, kissing it every other page turn. When you finish your chapter to mark your page and set your book on the coffee table before turning your head up and kissing his chin softly, watching his lips turn up in a smile before his eyes flick to yours after he finishes the sentence he was on. “I’m so unbelievably lucky” he whispers and you blush, after all these years he still makes you feel giddy in your heart.

Kuroo

You’re cooking breakfast while he pours mimosas, the Sunday morning air filled with sweet kisses and witty banter, him sticking to you like glue, his hands on your hips and his chin against your shoulder as he sways you to the music playing, singing the lyrics to you as you flip the pancakes.

Ushiwaka

Taking the long drive through the country for a weekend away, his hand on your thigh as he drives, you play a perfect relaxing mix of music but the radio is quiet background noise as you talk about anything you can think of. You loved that he was so open minded, you could ask anything your crack head thoughts come up with and he’d respond honestly. You never felt the need to fill any silence though, it was comfortable, he felt like home to you.

Daichi

You’re singing along to the music you had playing loudly as you did some late night cleaning while waiting for him to get come from work, he had to do some extra paperwork but you didn’t mind. You were excited to see him after being apart all day and to combat that excitement you decided to clean. When he walks in the house he smiles at the sight, you were standing on the back of the couch, the vacuum on as you suck the dust off the blinds, your foot tapping along to the music that was so loud you could hear it over the vacuum. He closed the door as he admired you before walking over to you and quickly clicking the vacuum button. You yelp as he knocks the back of your knees so you fell into his waiting arms, his smiling face made your heart skip as you relaxed into his arms “you naughty boy!” You say as you laugh and kisses your cheek “What can i say? I missed my darling”

Nishinoya

You’ve been together for years, spent traveling as you worked as a freelance photographer mostly but now you’ve decided to go home and put down your own roots, get back to family. After a few months you decided you wanted to adopt a pet tigether, finally deciding on a sweet cat you met at the shelter, he couldn’t stop talking about her so you thought it was a pretty good sign. Her first night home with you, you let her get adjusted and she kept to herself for the most part, claiming one of the chairs in the living room for herself. In the middle of a movie you were watching you got up to use the bathroom, when you returned he was mouthing screams at you pointing down, you chuckled as you saw that the cat had jumped up and fell asleep on his lap. He was so cute you about teared up for a moment before taking a picture of them on your phone, setting it as your Lock Screen. Your perfect little family.

Tendou

When he was making you homemade chocolate at his apartment for your fifth date, you took a spoon and dipped it into the melted chocolate when you thought he wasn’t looking. When he turned around and saw you with the spoon in your mouth, an obviously blissed look at how delicious it was, he knew he loved you. “Sorry” you say around the spoonin your mouth, your cheeks warming under his gaze. “You’re such a sneak, I’ll have to look out for that” he says as he boops your nose. You felt your heart race at the way his eyes lingered on you with a smirk. This man would be the death of you.

Bnha

Bakugou

You sing a little song to yourself as you break your chopsticks apart, dancing in your chair as you look down at your ramen. You were so happy to be in this moment with your favorite boy and your favorite food. He looks across the table at you, an amused smile on his face as he watches you and listens to your impromptu dumb song about how much you love ramen and love him, all the anger in his body leaving. You look up into his eyes and you feel your cheeks get warm “hmm?” You ask and expect his usually dumbass banter but your breath hitches when he says softly “I just love you is all” He‘ll never forget how lucky he is to be sharing perfect moments with you.

Midoriya

A date that’s not a date. You go to a thrift store with your friends but take his hand and lead him back to the clothing, taking turns choosing ugly accessories and coats for the other, spending the whole time lost in the moments with him. By the end you have many pictures together on your phone. You break off from the group, walking behind a few feet with him as you talk about your favorite heroes, you asked him questions about his notebook and he showed you the page he had written for you but forgot the small little drawing of a heart next your name at the top of the page. He noticed when the notebook was in your hand but couldn’t really tear it from you, that would be nuts. So he just hopes you don’t notice as you read his notes(you do) “this is amazing. I didn’t know you paid this much attention to me” his cheeks flush “y/n you have an amazing quirk! I love to watch you!” His face turns very red as you raise your eyebrows “you love to watch me?” You smirk and he starts to ramble “no! I mean I do. But like not in a weird way. I just like to see how your quirk develops. I’m not a stalker or anything” you reach out and take his hand with a chuckle “I like that you pay attention to me so don’t worry Zuku” you say and he lets out a deep breath. The rest of your group notices but just leaves you be, this was a long time going and to be honest bakugou started a bet to see how long it would take. He won when he bet it would be sooner rather than later. The first time he ever bet on Deku but only because he knew you were bolder.

Kaminari

Oh man. You were home early and he hadn’t heard you come in. You could hear he was on the phone with someone so you didn’t make any loud noises as you set your things down. “I’m gonna ask her tonight. Yeah I have the ring here in my hand, it’s so perfect. ... I have a reservation at the place we had our first date” he busts up laughing and you crack a smile when you realize he means the skate park near your old high school. “Yeah man the skatepark. But it’s actually a really nice restaurant now which I thought was so romantic. Shin, I can’t even begin to explain how sure I am about this. I can’t imagine a life without them in it.” You feel your heart skip and your eyes mist over for a moment before you suck in a breath and make your way over to the door, opening it quietly and then shouting “Hey im home early! Are you home?” You act, dramatically picking up and dropping your keys again and kicking your shoes. You hear a drawer shut and him say “I gotta go man she’s home thanks so much” before he comes out of the bedroom with a big grin on his lips “y/n/n! do you wanna go out to dinner tonight? There’s this new place I want us to try”

Aizawa

The way the breeze coming in through window ruffled his hair woke him up, it was just after two am and he must of forgot to close the window before you guys fell asleep. He got up to shut the window and he turned around, pausing for a second when he noticed you were looking at him. The moonlight framed his back and hit your face, your sleepy eyes taking in his shirtless frame as he walked back to bed. “You look like an angel” you whispered to him and he chuckles as he scooted under the covers, “you must still be dreaming if you think I’m the angel of this relationship” he mutters, trying to hide the way his heart skipped when you called him an angel.

Fatgum/ Taishiro

He comes home, his big suit in tatters and his body smaller, bruises already forming on his face and chest you can see from the torn fabric. “Oh babe I knew it was bad but I really wasn’t-“ you hold your hand to your lips to try and stop your tears as he walks over to you and wraps you in a hug and standing, carrying you with him to the bedroom “oh my angel don’t worry. I’m okay. All I need is a little bit of your home cooking and a lot of your kisses, then I’ll be right as rain” you shower with him, helping him out so he didnt have to use his sore limbs. Kissing him as much as he would want, showing him how much you love him. After you dress you make him multiple different foods, full meals so he could have as much as he wanted. He watched you cook from his spot at the kitchen table, his heart as full as his stomach will be later. The food you make for him always tastes the best, better than any food he could ever order, he feels your love through the act of service you give him every time you cook for him.

Present mic

The moment after a concert where you’re walking back to the car holding hands, smiles on your lips as your ears ringing from the level of music as you talk about your favorite songs that were performed. You start to shiver from the sweat on your body and he pulls you into a hug “I got something for you” he says quietly knowing your ears were already ringing as he kisses the top of your head “what is it?” You ask with a smile “close your eyes” he says and you lean up to kiss his lips softly before pulling back and keeping yo eyes closed. You feel something go over your head and you instinctively put your arms up through the sleeves knowing it was a hoodie “okay open your eyes” he says and you do, seeing him wearing a hoodie in front of you and looking down to see you had a matching one on “this is amazing Yama! I love you! Thank you!” You hug him tight and he laughs holding you close “anything for my girl”

Toshinori

Walking through the park in the morning, getting some coffee and people watching, hitting the farmers market on the way home he buys you some flowers while you’re distracted with the fruit. You buy an aloe plant in a pot painted with his face on it that looks like his hair for your office at the school and when you walk home you buy some donuts from the stand at the end, your arm in his as you have endless entertaining conversations.

Naruto

Kakashi

You gave him an excuse of a mission so you could go to the sand village for a few days. There’s a small bookstore there who was going to be releasing a limited edition Icha Icha book with a twist ending and you wanted to make sure you could get one. You were the first one in line and you waited all night long to be the first one in when it opened that day. You got the book and then swung by where you heard Jiraiya was, some bar by a hot spring between the sand and the leaf. “What are you doing here?” He says through a confident slur as you sit down next to him. you pull out the book and a pen and grin at him but when he doesn’t show any emotion you sigh, pulling out your wallet and handing it to him before he nods and takes the pen “I always have time for my fans”

When you get back to the apartment it’s after 2am the day of his birthday. You take the stairs two at a time, ditching your pack by the door as you enter silently. You hold the book in your hands, neatly wrapped in paper as you kick off your shoes and make your way to the bedroom. He’s sleeping peacefully in bed and you can’t wait to ruin it. You climb up in the bed and sit cross legged next to him, a smile on your lips and the book in your lap as you softly run your fingertips across his cheeks and his forehead and then down his nose before his eyes flutter open. “Hi” you whisper and he smiles as he stretches his arms out “welcome home baby. How was the mission?” He sits up and you look down at the book in your lap “the mission was successful” you say with a chuckle before looking back up into his eyes “what do you got there?” He asks and you hide it behind your back “oh nothing at all I don’t know what you’re ta-“ he talked you to the bed and stars to tickle your sides “taLKING ABOUT!” You start to giggle as his fingers hit all your ticklish spots “Kashi stop!” You beg through laughs and tears before he captures your lips with his and you relax into him, not noticing when his hand slides under your back and pulls the book from your grasp. He knows exactly what it is the moment he’s touched it. “You didn’t” he says as he pulls back and you just grin “open it” you say and he does, gently pulling the paper from the book. He holds it like he’s holding somethjng extra precious “there wasn’t a mission” he states as he looks down at the book in his hands, flipping through the new pages. “The only mission was making you happy” you whisper and he looks up into your eyes, his looking a little misty, “I love you so much, thank you” he says quietly, afraid his voice will crack. “I love you Kakashi. Happy Birthday”

[bookwrm99]

Preferred Music- OM! Brothers

Not that anyone asked me, but I was in the mood to write and I’ve gotten back into Obey Me! after a super-long hiatus.. so these are my thoughts on what the brothers listen to in terms of music. I’ve only finished S1, so forgive me if these don’t make sense in context of the later seasons T_T

Lucifer:

It’s established in canon that Lucifer loves listening to classical music and has an extensive record collection- the more cursed the better

I headcanon though that he also likes to listen to big band music, like the Glenn Miller Orchestra

I can imagine him putting one of his vintage Glenn Miller records on his grammy and asking his s/o to dance with him one night if he was feeling especially romantic. The song he’d initiate on would be Twilight Interlude, Moonlight Serenade, or Starlit Hour.

I also headcanon that Lucifer listens to crooners, like Nat King Cole or Frank Sinatra

If MC can play an instrument, especially if it’s the piano, Lucifer might lurk in the hallway for a while if he hears them playing music by composers like Beethoven, Mozart, or Chopin. He doesn’t know how or why, but he thinks their works sound best whenever MC plays them

I think Lucifer’s guilty pleasure is 50′s/60′s decade music, but only listens to them when certain conditions are met: he’s in an exceptionally good mood, his privacy is guaranteed for at least an hour, and it’s just him in his bedroom. He feels that artists like The Beach Boys, Elvis, and The Beatles don’t fit with his polished, high-class image, hence the secrecy around listening to them

You’ll know he trusts you when he allows you into his space while one of these artists’ records is on the gramophone

Doesn’t change MC’s ringtone in his phone, because one: he’s an old man and hardly uses the thing for anything besides communication anyway, and two: he wants to be the only brother who wasn’t prompted by Mammon’s ringtone change

Probably changes their ringtone after a few weeks, when his brothers have forgotten all about it

 Mammon:

The Black Crowes. Next-

It’s canon that Mammon likes R&B music

Mammon strikes me as a classic/90′s alternative rock kind of guy too, though. Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Aerosmith, U2, Deep Purple, The Black Crowes, Pearl Jam- that kind of vibe

If he’s feeling something a little more hard, he’d probably dip into Nirvana, Van Halen, AC/DC, or another band along those lines

“Money” by Pink Floyd is DEFINITELY his ringtone

If he’s trying to really focus to come up with a scheme to make Grimm, or is just in the mood for something really chill, he might pull up a lofi hip hop playlist/station to listen to in the background

If he and MC happen to be chilling in his room, though, he’d probably play whatever they’re into- not because he likes them and wants to learn more about them or anything, noooooo sir, definitely doesn’t want to know their favorite artists so he can maybe take them to a concert one day either

Probably starts listening to MC’s favorite bands and genres too as their relationship develops

I headcanon that as soon as he finds out whatever MC’s favorite song is, he sets it as their ringtone in his phone so he can distinguish them from modeling agencies and his brothers

Leviathan:

It’s canon that Levi LOVES anime music, which like- I 110% subscribe to

I think he’d also really like video game music as well. Especially if it’s a game he loves and their soundtracks are *chef’s kiss*

If the Devildom has an equivalent to K-pop, I could see him being into that too. BTS, EXO, SUPER JUNIOR, Girl’s Generation, and SEVENTEEN all give me Levi vibes

Because he used to play so many different instruments, I also headcanon that sometimes he gets in the mood to listen to some of the music he used to play

He might get started on a classical music kick for a couple hours, then be satisfied for a week or two until the craving comes up again

Like Mammon, he might try listening to MC’s favorite music to get to know them better- but if he’s too averse to it, he’ll just go back to listening to his usual music

As their relationship develops, he might change MC’s ringtone in his phone to the theme of an anime they’ve both watched together and loved, or to the theme of his favorite anime- not to be outdone by Mammon, of course

Satan:

It’s canon that Satan also enjoys classical music, especially symphonies

I headcanon though that Satan might resent this similarity to Lucifer, so listens to classical music in secret- or abstains from it until he cracks and binges for a few hours

I could also see Satan listening to music very loudly in his room to piss Lucifer off if he’s in a particularly vindictive mood, especially if it’s hard rock or metal

Three Days Grace, Shinedown, Breaking Benjamin, Disturbed, The Veer Union, Gojira, Beartooth, Steel Panther- and if he’s really mad at Lu, he’d pull out the stops and listen to some death metal

Lowkey kind of likes some of it, even though he started listening to it exclusively with the intent of making the eldest tear his hair out in frustration

For casual listening, though, I headcanon that he has soft indie playlists and stations that he’s favorited/subscribed to

I could also see him as the type to have a playlist built with all his favorite songs from his favorite Broadway plays (looking at you, Les Misérables and Cats)

When he catches wind that Mammon and Levi changed their ringtones for MC, he didn’t hop on the train to outdo them- he just thought it was a good idea. He changes it to a soft indie song that reminds him of MC in some way, whether the lyrics are explicitly about someone similar to them or the sound of the song gives them MC vibes

Asmodeus:

Asmo listens to healing music in canon

But I also imagine him listening to dance/EDM music, because it gets him pumped up for The Fall and reminds him of the good times he’s had there

I headcanon that Asmo listens to healing music when he’s pampering himself or doing spa sessions with MC, and dance/EDM when he’s getting primped up to go to the club

Asmo is DEFINITELY the type to put soft music on when he’s about to get it on with somebody to set the mood, but it’s not something he listens to on his own- he feels ambivalent about romantic music in general

With MC, though, if their relationship buds into something more than friendship- you can bet your ass that he custom makes the perfect playlist for spicy situations with them, and his opinion on romantic music changes into a more positive one

I also see him listening to Queens like Ariana Grande, Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, Beyoncé- really powerful women vocalists

Asmo might have an easy listening pop playlist/station subscribed on his app of choice, but probably has to be in the mood for it to put it on

Definitely changes MC’s ringtone to something cheeky at first, like “Sexual Healing”, but trades it for a romantic song that reminds him of them later as they get closer

Beelzebub:

The RAD newspaper reports that Beel likes the song in the “Hell’s Burger” commercial

But I headcanon that when the newspaper club asked him that question, he just didn’t know how to respond because he listens to so many different genres, so he blurted out the first thing on his mind (so of course it would be food-related)

Beel doesn’t strike me as the type to like one genre in particular to the exclusion of most others- he seems more like he’d have playlists of all different genres to switch between depending on the situation and his mood

He’d definitely have a workout playlist full of songs to hype him up, like “Eye of the Tiger”, “Welcome to the Jungle”,  “Seven Nation Army”, “Thunder”, etc.

Probably has upwards of thirty playlists/stations he’s subscribed to because of his broad tastes, but the ones I see him frequently playing are pop, indie, alternative, and punk rock

Because he shares a room with Belphie, he’s grown accustomed to listening to chill, soft piano music at night when the both of them are first falling asleep- so much so, he has a hard time falling asleep without it, so he always brings earphones with him when traveling so he can still listen to it

MC’s ringtone in his phone is the “Hell’s Burger” commercial song- the only other contact that shares the ringtone is Belphie. Hearing his favorite song helps him distinguish his favorite people from everyone else calling his phone, even if hearing the song makes him hungry and drool a little bit before he picks up

Belphegor:

Belphie likes chill piano music in canon

Makes sense to me, since he’s sleeping 99.999999% of the time

But I headcanon that he also likes punk rock, like Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, blink-182, Good Charlotte, All Time Low, Panic! At The Disco, Bring Me The Horizon, and more

He only listens to it if he has to stay awake for a long period of time- listening to piano music makes him sleepy, so that’s out of the question, even though he needs music to be able to focus

Belphie is another brother who will stick around if he hears MC playing the piano- he’s less covert about it than the eldest brother, though

He’ll straight up trudge into the music room, sit on the bench with them and lean his head against their shoulder as they play

Hope you weren’t planning on stopping anytime soon, MC

Belphie also seems like the type to have subscriptions to ASMR or soft storytelling podcasts/stations/playlists, for the times he finds he’s having a hard time falling asleep

Like Lucifer, is one of the last to hop on the ringtone train, and honestly didn’t really give a shit about it until he really thought about it. What if MC was in trouble and tried to call him while he was asleep? His normal ringtone wouldn’t wake him up in that scenario, which could end up being really bad

Changes it to something really loud and obnoxious at first, like “What Is Love” (the animal cover)

Eventually changes it to something more romantic as he and MC get closer in their relationship, like “Check Yes, Juliet”

~~

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them. <3

BTW, this is the ringtone I HC’d for Belphie lmfao: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mx5-aOGphII&t=53s

It’s my morning alarm and my family hates it, but I’m an extremely heavy sleeper sooooooo guess I’ll just keep being a menace to society

[blush-and-books]

i am always yours

canonverse juke one-shot, light angst with a happy ending :) as a part of the effort to get juke back on the tumblr fandometrics ship list! title from the end of all things by p!atd. again, fuck brendon urie, but i’ve had this hc about luke for awhile (you’ll see what i mean) and had to get this out! <3 enjoy!

When Julie told Luke about Panic! At The Disco, she didn’t just give him a list of songs to check out. She advised to listen through entire albums. 

“You have a lot to catch up on,” she said, grinning over a mug of steaming tea. Her smile could convince him to do anything. “And these guys were a phenomenon. Despite… A lot that has happened with their lead singer, you’ll appreciate the music. Just give it a try when you feel like it.”

Julie never rushed him on anything. It was one of the things he loved most about her -- she only really insisted he know how to use her phone and the internet and maybe know some memes, but the rest was up to him. She loved him -- he hoped -- even if he wanted to stay in 1995. 

However, whenever she told Luke to do something, like “look into it if you’re interested” or “check it out if you’re ever bored,” he would jump on it in an instant. 

He wondered if she ever noticed. Acts of service was one of those love language things that Flynn was always talking about, right? Does making the effort to show an interest in the other person’s life by listening to every album by a band they like count?

He would ask Reggie or Alex, but Reggie doesn’t have much experience in the love department and Alex and Willie are much better at communicating than he is with Julie. 

To be clear: Luke doesn’t have experience either. In fact, Reggie probably has more romantic experience between the two of them. 

But none of it was as serious. This weird thing he has with Julie; this undefined, label-lacking supernova of passion and emotion that he has curled up in his chest is so strong sometimes it hurts. When Julie was upset at him and ignored him, it felt like the time his mom took his guitar and locked it away for a week. 

But when Julie is around, and she’s smiling at him, he could swear that not even a roaring audience could spark the kind of nirvana he feels. 

So, the day after she gives him the name of every Panic! album to date, she goes to school for six hours and he sneaks her laptop down to the garage and starts his deep dive. 

(Yes, Julie gave him computer privileges. He knows boundaries. She’s just broadened hers.)

Blissfully and with few interruptions from his other bandmates, he goes through the first albums quickly. He skips most of Pretty Odd -- Julie should have warned him about that one -- and is enjoying himself until he gets to the later projects which are significantly less his sound. 

But he keeps going. He reaches their album from 2013, which has this neon-angsty-alt-pop vibe that he honestly has a neutral opinion on. The songs are all good until he realizes that half of them have a painfully romantic overtone that ropes his mind back to Julie every time he tries to stray. 

Fuck, one of the songs is literally titled Girl That You Love. How is he not supposed to have a montage of Julie in his head?

And then some shit called Far Too Young To Die comes on, and yes, he agrees, he was far too young to die. He also vows to never listen to it again in the next 24 hours because he is ultimately tempted to loop it until Julie comes back and kiss her breathless the second that she walks through the door. 

Moving on, Collar Full doesn’t make things much better. He is sick and tired of waiting and dancing around his feelings for her, and every time they are together he is filled to the brim with lyrics and love from just minutes in her presence. 

(“If you’re gonna be the death of me, that’s how I want to go” definitely shatters him. But only briefly. He wants to soak up every ounce of love he can get from her before the world catches up to them and he’s crossing over without his consent.)

Luke thinks that he’s out of the woods when he hits the album-ending ballad, The End of All Things. 

And then he sees that he’s still in the thick of it. 

The way it hits him is nearly indescribable -- but every line hits like a read-aloud of his diary. 

No matter where he is, or where he ends up, his soul will always belong to Julie Molina. And that’s the truth of it. He can cross over or the band could break up and he could wander the planet as a lost ghost for the rest of eternity, but his soul will linger; tied with Julie’s in an unsolvable knot. 

He is hers. 

He is hers, he is hers, he is hers. 

And he’s in love with her. 

He can’t ask her to love him back. But he can hope, right? For just a single moment where they can lay together and be Julie and Luke like they should have been.

The tears on his cheeks and under his eyes don’t register until they are streaming down his neck and onto the pillow that he’s laying on. 

He doesn’t deserve Julie, he knows that. And he knows how fucking selfish it would be to even try. But sometimes the wanting reaches inside of him and individually snaps each and every one of his ribs, and that feeling keeps him pushing and pulling like the tide. Get close to her, make her smile, make her laugh. 

Leave her alone. Stop flirting. Don’t you dare hurt her. 

Think about somebody other than yourself. 

This song, he ends up looping. Over and over and over until his emotions are exhausted and he doesn’t have any tears left to cry. He’s on his… Probably his ninth listen when the doors crack open, and the piano music is leaking out of the garage as Julie slips in. 

“Luke! Hey, uh… Oh! You’re listening to Panic!”

He guiltily allows his heart to skip at the pleasant surprise in her smile. Clearing his throat, he swipes his hands viciously across his cheeks to rid of the tear stains and shoots her one of his classic smiles. “‘Course, Boss. You told me to.”

Her backpack hits the coffee table as she slowly approaches the couch to settle next to him. “Yeah, well… I didn’t actually expect you to. People normally just say ‘yeah, I’ll check it out!’ and then no one talks about it again.”

Something rubs him the wrong way about her not thinking that he would actually follow through with her recommendation. Does she doubt him? How does she not know that she could say jump and he would ask how high?

“Well, I’m not normal people. I care about what you care about.”

He knows he got her when she averts her eyes to Alex’s drums across the room; giving Luke a perfect view of her blush. Maybe he lets himself revel in it for a moment longer than necessary. 

“Anyways, how was school? Did you have a good day?”

“It was fine,” she shakes off her previous flusteredness, tucking her leg under her body so that she can turn to fully face him. “But there's nothing to tell. I would much rather hear about what you thought of Panic! And you have to tell me why you were wiping tears off of your face when I came in.”

Luke mirrors her position and gives her a joyful grin, trying to ignore the fact that she clearly noticed him trying to clean his face and wants to talk about it. The two of them have been so good at communication, and if it were about anything else, he would tell her. 

But he was nearly sobbing because of how much he loved her and couldn’t have her, so… 

“They were pretty cool, I’ll give it to you. I liked the album… Vices and Virtues?” Julie nods her head. “Yeah, that one. I was finishing the Vegas one when you got home.”

“Did you like it? The album you just finished. It sounded like End of All Things when I came in.”

With wide eyes and an exaggerated nod, Luke is praying internally that she will move on and go on a tangent about her favorite albums and songs because he just wants to listen to her talk and quietly love her instead of dodge questions about his emotions. 

“Okay, and did you like it? Is that-” She chuckles. “Is that what got you emotional? I mean, I get it, that song hits different sometimes, but-”

Luke stays quiet. If he keeps his mouth shut, and just smiles and stares and nods, it won’t slip. 

“... Luke? Are you listening to me?”

“Yeah, of course!”

“... So? Are you… Are you okay? Did it remind you of your mom?”

It reminded me of you, he instantly corrects her with the little voice in his head. 

But the voice sounds louder than usual, and then Julie’s eyes widen, and Luke couldn’t even smile and nod well enough to cover this up. Since when is he so bad at bottling up his emotions?

Right. Since he couldn’t write songs about his feelings. Because if he did, Julie would see them, so every word of affection toward her was shoved into an overflowing filing cabinet in his brain that was probably waiting to explode at any moment. 

“It- Really?”

Mental checklist: She isn’t running away. She isn’t crying. She isn’t running away while she’s crying. 

She isn’t slapping him, or screaming at him, or expressing any negative emotions. 

Maybe he can push another inch… Just for some relief.

“Y- Yeah.” The single word takes considerable effort to stutter out, but he says it. 

Julie formulates her next move. “And… Like, what about it? What reminded you of me?”

Is Luke imagining things, or did she just shift closer to him? Oh, God. The selfishness has already done it’s damage. He’s initiating something that he definitely shouldn’t for both of their sake, but-

God, why does she look so pretty?

“Y’know,” he scratches the back of his neck, “the… The lyrics.” 

“The lyrics?” “Yeah.”

“Which ones?”

She’s leaning in. Her fingers are trailing up the side of his leg, and he wants to poof himself out of this conversation but what would hiding do? Just create a bigger gap between them?

His mom always told him he was selfish. He really, really doesn’t want to be selfish to Julie. He wants to protect her. He wants to put her health and happiness and life before his. Hurting her will never give him peace. 

Is he being selfish either way? Telling her his feelings to make himself feel better, and avoiding his feelings because he thinks it will be better without talking to her about it -- neither are ideal, are they?

His hand, which was previously resting in his lap, inches down to brush against hers. “The first verse…” Their index fingers wrap around each other. “And the chorus, and the second verse…”

Both of their hands tangle until Luke doesn’t even remember what his hand looked like before, because all he sees is a bronze-ivory marble of skin and he knows he doesn’t ever want to see his hand without hers again. 

“Luke…”

“Yeah, Boss?” “Why were you upset?”

She really won’t let it go. She clearly knows him too well, because he would hope any other person would be distracted by the fact that they were about to kiss, but this is Julie. They’re friends first. Family first. 

He owes her honesty, doesn’t he?

“Because the song was right,” he answers, staring deadlocked at their joined hands. “No matter where I am, or how much time goes by… It’s gonna be you. On my mind. My feelings will never change.”

He can’t tell, but Julie’s heart ignites in her chest. 

“Feelings? What-”

Somehow, the words still don’t want to come out. The eight letters are resisting every opportunity she has offered him, so he resorts to actions and cuts her off by raising their joined hands to kiss the back of her hand. 

His lips linger before their union drops back into the space between them.

“... Oh.”

“Yeah.”

In a moment of courage, Luke peeks up at her, just to see how she looks. If he can read everything she’s feeling in a millisecond of a glance. 

There are tears in her eyes. 

“Whoa, Jules, why are you crying?” “Why were you crying?”

“Because I’m afraid of doing this!” Her hand tightens around him at his volume. “Julie, I- I don’t want to do anything selfish. I can’t have you thinking I’m selfish. I’m afraid of-” He has to take a deep, shaky breath. “When we hold hands or when you smile at me and I just feel so much and then I tell myself that I can’t, because you have so much ahead of you, and I don’t even know what’s in my future.”

The tears well in her eyes. “What would you be doing that’s selfish, Luke? You have a second chance at life. You should fucking live it. You have a future, and it has the boys, and the band, and me. I’m in your future.” 

There’s a beat, because he’s looking at her, and he wants to cry but he wants to say it so badly. 

He still doesn’t know how much time he has in the future, but Julie is telling him that she’ll be there. And he needed that more than anyone would understand. 

“Well, aren’t I?”

Julie’s question shocks him a little because he hadn’t realized that he had been quiet for so long. Her bottom lip trembles the smallest amount when she sucks in a deep breath, and it sets him off to do what he had once deemed to be the most selfish act of all. 

His free hand tucks itself in the hair on the base of her neck and tugs her towards him before he covers her mouth with his in a kiss that he has furiously dreamed of for a long time. For such a sweet moment, there is an overload of passion behind it. All of his fantasies were rushed and adrenaline-fueled after shows before he would talk himself down; and now, that is translating to this kiss.

“I’m sorry,” he gasps as he pulls away. “That’s the selfish thing I was worried about. Fuck, I-”

Her hand wrestles free from his, and suddenly, two hands are on his cheeks like the night after the Orpheum and the love of his life is pulling herself into his lap. On autopilot, he untucks his leg from underneath him and shifts to sit normally on the couch while Julie’s legs hold her up on each side of his hips. 

And she’s kissing him again, touching him again, before he can let the panic set in. She moves her lips against his like she has her own overflowing filing cabinet of feelings and fantasies and lyrics just for him.

Her hands wondrously drain every jolt of worry and anguish from his nervous system as they run from his face to his arms to his chest and back again. Kissing Julie Molina is a thousand little feelings and it’s own feeling  in itself.

When you get cold water from a water fountain and it’s so refreshing that you insatiably want more. When the set ends and Luke is taking his bows and watching people scream and clap for their performance, knowing once again he’s succeeding in the one thing he’s ever wanted to do. 

Only now, making music is now tied with making Julie happy on that list of priorities. 

Holding her under his hands is stupidly one of his favorite things, and in this context, it is leaving him clawing for more. He applies more pressure against her back to try and press her closer, but it never feels like enough. 

Julie is an endless fountain of fervor, and he can only drink up everything he can get. 

She’s the one who pulls away this time; but she keeps her fingers knotted in his hair because she plans to not stray far. 

“You’re not selfish,” she sighs, chest heaving with deep breaths. “If you think that’s selfish, then I’m selfish. And we can do this together. We deserve it.”

Hearing the words tumble from her lips cancels out every fight he’s ever had with his mother. 

She’s right -- they do deserve it. She shut the world out for a year, he was locked away from the world for 25, and by some miraculous turn of fate, they were brought to each other. 

“We deserve it,” he repeats, a little distracted by her blown pupils and delirious smile. “We deserve it.”

They lean in at the same time to fall back into one another like it’s a new routine they’ve set. Luke doesn’t say the words, not yet, at least-

Because like she said, they deserve this. Julie Molina is on his lap, in his arms, playing him with her soft hands like his skin is the ivory keys she’s been playing since childhood. He loves her, and he’s pretty sure that she loves him -- so maybe, even though the future is uncertain, he can just wait a little longer to tell her. There’s simultaneously less of a delay and less of a rush. 

Later, when they’re in her room and staying up way too late for a school night in deep discussion, he mumbles it against her forehead while she has her head tucked into his shoulder and their shared earbuds are playing The End of All Things. 

Any concerns of selfishness fade when she wastes no time in reciprocating his declaration and punctuating her feelings with a cripplingly soft kiss above his collar bone. 

If any of this is selfish, they can be selfish together. Luke can find himself to be content in that if Julie is right there with him. 

--

tags: @lydias--stiles @bluefirewrites @willexx @moreflowersthanweeds @ruzek-halstead @xxprettylittletimebombxx  @unsaid-emily

[purpleyellow]

Road To Kingdom

The boyz 12th member

Mae’s masterlist

“A summary of Mae during RTK” 

a/n: not @/ me using the performance names as historical events. Feel free to share your thoughts with me. Requests are open! 🧡

... After the concept meeting for Sword of Victory...

Mae cracked open the door to a practice room, making sure no one was inside before dropping her stuff, as well as her body, on the floor. The lightbulb making it almost impossible to keep her eyes open reminded her that she used to do that during her trainee days.

Here she was again, feeling hopeless like she was going to face the biggest challenge ever. And the girl was sure she wasn’t ready for it. 

Minkyung had a problem of self-doubting even though she couldn’t pinpoint it, all the members seemed willing to take on the challenge, yet she felt like she’d be the downfall of the group. And yes, she had a thing for being dramatic as well, that’s why she rested the back of her hand on her forehead and sprawled out her other arm.

The door flung open with mild force, startling her from her thoughts and sending her body into a more normal position. Q entered the room without a word and just laid on the floor next to her. Both members looked at the ceiling deep in thought.

Mae went back to the idea she had during the meeting. Not a particularly bright one, though it did attack the fact she felt like an upcoming burden to the group. Taking a deep breath she mumbled, “I think I should take a hiatus”.

After her words, the room went back to silence. Her heartbeat had increased due to the heaviness of what she had spoken, and looking to the side, she saw Changmin frown.

“Are you sick?” He asked after a few minutes and the girl shook her head. “Physically or mentally unwell? Is there an issue we can fix?”

His questions made her taken back, for Mae it was very clear why her taking a break would be beneficial for the group. 

“I’m saying because of the program”

“We’re joining a competition, so you want to drop out?” Changmin sat up confused. 

“I’m thinking of the bigger picture. The group will do better if you don’t have to worry about me keeping up with you guys”.

“No, you’re not. I’m sorry, but you’re being selfish now” He chuckled. “We don’t mind if you need to repeat the same move a couple of times extra to understand how it goes. Do you honestly think it’s going to help being one person down?”.

“I figured I wouldn’t be setting you back. It can be stressing sometimes and -” She sat up trying to explain her thoughts, and he shook his head.

“Minkyung, you bring a lot to the team, just because you struggle with something doesn’t mean it’s worth losing everything else. When we were rookies I used to get annoyed because you were so quick to give up. But then you began understanding how you learn and your limits. And even though it takes you a little longer you push yourself. Why did you suddenly come back to assuming you can’t do it?”

“The meeting today. Everyone is preparing a lot, there’s so much thought involved and maybe not pulling it off would mean I failed you guys”

“I’m terrified too,” Changmin nodded, placing a hand on his chest “I mean, did you listen to the stunts they were talking about. My first thought was to run away. But then I remembered we’re here to prove ourselves” 

Sighing, Mae looked at him annoyed “You’re a great dancer, and singer and whatever else, you’ll do fine because that’s how your body works”

“And you’re an insane performer” He cut her off with wide eyes. A random giggle left his mouth before he continued “I’m talking about acting and becoming another person on stage, you literally do that in the blink of an eye. This is your chance of growth. Who cares if you pull an all-nighter to get the right angle? When you’re on stage it’s like someone else entirely, and we haven’t even done some crazy concepts like we’re planning on doing”

“If the angles are wrong then we won’t look synchronized” The girl mumbled looking at the big mirror and Q chuckled.

“And that’s why you’re not going to rest until it’s perfect. None of us is going too actually. We’re going in as a team, with all our flaws and strengths”

“It’s nerve-wracking, isn’t it?” She mumbled after a moment of silence. Changmin laughed and added. “I’m scared to death”

… Five hours before Catching Fire…

The last rehearsal before the performance had ended and the group went back to their dressing room. Sitting sideways on the couch, Mae rested her head on her arm and watched some members go get their makeup retouched.

Jacob sat on her side and stared at the girl’s blank face before laughing. “Can you blink, so I know you’re still alive?”

Blinking once, she slowly adverted her gaze to him and bit her lip “This is crazy”

“It’s not as fast-paced as they show it on TV though. At least we have some time to process what’s going on” Jacob shrugged making her narrow her eyes at him “But yeah. It is crazy”

“Sunwoo keeps going on high places. And there’s some acrobatic stuff I’m not sure how it works and-” She kept mumbling like she hadn’t been there for the tiring practices and rehearsals. Laughing Jacob interrupted her by adding.

“And you fake kicked someone”

“And I fake kicked someone” Mae repeated with wide eyes making him laugh and Hyunjae approach them.

“Hey, I’ve been jumping on high places too,” He said defensively making her stare at him and shrugged. Jaehyun laughing before patting her on the back “How about once we get home today you have a really long night to sleep”

“I’m good” Mae shook her head “I’ll sleep but tomorrow don’t let me miss the meetings please”

Agreeing with her, Hyunjae stepped back to the styling session and the girl stood up to use the restroom.

Just as Mae turned around the corner, a faint sound of a violin came from Golden Child’s door. Before she could fully process the song it was playing, the door opened wide showcasing Jangjun.

“Well, do we have a spy among us?” He laughed bowing at her and Mae repeated the gesture a little embarrassed.

“I was just passing by and heard the violin. I didn’t mean to interrupt” She said making an x with her hands.

“Nah, I don’t believe you” He teasingly said and dropped an arm over her shoulder, ultimately bringing her inside the room “So, what did you hear? Are you going to sell this information to your members? And what is it going to be your concept today, I can see the hunger games thing on your shirt, is it like a revolution”

“Uh, I don’t know… Hello” Bowing to the rest of Golden Child, the girl tried to remember what he had first asked her. “I only heard a melody, and don’t worry I won’t spread it around”

“Hyung, I told you not to play it right now” Bomin scoffed to Joochan, who seemed to realize he was still holding out his violin before hiding it on his back.

“But Mae-ssi is a friend, isn’t she? She will hold out the shock factor for us” He laughed making the girl nod and give them a thumbs up. “Do you know how to play it too?”

“I do actually” She laughed and Joochan gestured her to take the instrument “Oh, no it’s fine”

“You heard our song already. At least play for us or tell us something about your stage” Jibeom teased leading her to sigh and take the violin to herself.

Fixing up her posture, Mae quickly played a random song she had learned as a child making the boys cheer. 

“Okay, I should be going now,” She said bowing embarrassed by their compliments and Denyeol nodded along. Fist bumping her before raising a finger.

“But, Mae if you could do us a favor” He started grabbing her attention “Please make sure you show you’re surprised”

Laughing she nodded making her way to the door, before leaving she held up her hands with her fists closed “Golden Child fighting!”

“Mae fighting!”

(requested by 🍓🥛 anon) 

… Behind the scenes for Heroin…

“Why are we so embarrassing?” Sunwoo giggled and clicked his pen repeatedly. He and Mae were sitting on the same side of the table waiting for Leedo from Oneus to show up for the writing session. 

Bouncing her leg, Mae hugged the boy’s arm and looked at the door expectantly, only to get startled by it opening up. 

“Hello” The tall boy put his head inside the room and entered it slowly. The three idols greeted each other and sat down still a little awkward from being the first time they truly interacted.

“I got the demo, so we can write the raps to go with it” Leedo said unlocking his phone. A piano melody that would blend in with Sunmi’s Heroin started playing, and Mae quickly unlocked her own device.

Opening a piano app, she waited for the recording to be over before quickly replicating it on her phone in different tempos.

“You picked it up quite fast” Leedo laughed scribbling down on his paper, and she smiled. “Sorry, just a habit before writing. This way we can adjust it as we go”

“No yeah, sure” He cleared his throat and Sunwoo bit his lip to prevent himself from laughing.

“Anyway, for the lyrics, I was thinking we could talk about becoming an idol”

After finishing up with their rap parts. The three idols made their way up to the practice room where the rest had began working with the choreographer.

“Mae, come here” Juyeon called out as soon as she stepped in the room, so he could run over some parts with her and Ravn. “There’s only actual choreography for you after the last chorus, but we do some kind of puppet thing during your verse”

“My love for this song couldn’t be any bigger” Mae giggled and looked around the room for the camera “Sunmi Sunbaenim, if you’re watching this, let’s be friends”

Laughing, Juyeon pulled out a chair for them to start while saying “Watch out. Taemin Sunbaenim commented on danger, maybe she’ll actually see this”

“Wait, he did” Mae stopped with wide eyes and Juyeon nodded. “Holy sh-”

“Yeah” Laughing he pulled her arm “Just remember this is still a broadcast” 

“Honestly, if she ever reaches out let me know. I want to be her friend too” Ravn added making them giggled, and she gave him a positive sign.

“As long as you don’t tell Juyeon, because he’s been censoring me a lot lately”

“Well, we have an agreement”

Sulking, Juyeon added “I don’t see how this is fair but okay”

… 1 minute after Quasi una fantasia …

The members bowed to the staff and extras before slowly stepping away from the stage. Mae could see some of the boys crowding around Juyeon who seemed pretty upset, though she had no idea what was going on. 

Holding her side, the girl went behind the boy and gave him a back hug making them waddle together back to the dressing room. Once they were all settled back, she stepped away from the crowd and raised her shirt a bit showcasing a forming bruise right above her waist.

“Crap, how did that happen?” Kevin who looked her way at the right time said under his breath. “You need to ice it, probably"

“I bumped on the corner of the piano," She said recalling the incident. “Hopefully it wasn’t noticeable. The camera wasn’t turned to me anyway”

The one part that had gotten her most nervous during this performance was her piano solo for the climax of Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata. Not only it dictated the rhythm for the first dance break, but it was also challenging for her as she hadn’t played something like this in a while, and it ended a few seconds before her part. 

So strategically speaking, she had to run off the instrument as soon as it was done and went back to the center of the performance. Not without hitting her hip against the wood.

“Is it hurting?” He asked while waving for a staff member and asking them for ice.

“It’s starting to. Do you think it’ll leave a big bruise?” Mae shrugged and hissed as the cold hit her warm skin. Shaking her head, she tried to focus on something else “Well, not mentioning everything. How was the performance?”

“Weren’t you there to see it yourself”

“I don’t know. I kind of blackout every time we go on stage” She made him laugh, but her face was dead serious.

“Wait really?”

“Kind of. I can remember it roughly I guess. Today there was so much to focus on that I’m not sure if I was entirely present. I banged my hip and didn't feel it at first for all things”

“Dude, same I guess. I need to lay down and get smushed by ten weighted blankets tonight” Kevin added hugging her on the other side and leading them to the couch.

… 3 days before Checkmate …

“The synchronization feels off” Eric spoke from the huddle of members watching the recording of their practice.

“Mae…” Q started, but before he could finish the girl spoke “Right arm higher. I got it”

“If you got it then why didn’t you do it right away” He turned playfully to her and poked her nose. 

Massaging her back, the girl laughed and walked back to her spot next to Haknyeon. The boy dropped his bottle on the floor to help her out “Did you fall on your side?”

“No. I did trip while running from one side to the center, so maybe that was it” She shrugged looking around the room “Nobody is intact”

“Tell me about it” He pouted and called Sangyeon closer. “Hyung, maybe we should work on another part. We’ve been doing this section of the chorus for too long”

“Go talk to the captain, I’m not in charge of that” The leader laughed sending him towards Changmin, Juyeon, and Hyunjae talking to one of the choreographers.

“They would listen if you’re the one asking,” Mae said leaning on his side and Sangyeon nodded. 

“Yeah, but I already came all the way over here. I don’t feel like walking back” Sangyeon chuckled, looking to the side where one of the staff members started calling his attention.

“We’ve got the costumes ready if you want to do a rehearsal with them” Looking up at the leader, Mae separated herself from him to run for the stylists while he went to call the other boys.

After the stylists helped her put on her clothes, one of them brought a box and quickly pulled her to the side “I know we’re not doing hair and makeup for today. But I’d figure it’s best for you to have it on for the rehearsal so we can make sure it won’t fall”

“Wow, is she getting a present?” Eric laughed approaching them and the stylist opened the box to reveal a thin black tiara to go along with her outfit.

“The crown itself is one of the props, so we had to make it subtle, but we couldn’t pass away the chance to represent the nickname you were given during the program,” She said helping her adjust the thing on her head and Mae walked to one of the mirrors.

“Wow, thank you so much Unnie,” The girl said checking herself out in the mirror “My face looks dead but damn this is pretty” She added making Eric and New, who also had joined them, laugh.

“You know, during a chess game, the Queen is one of the main pieces” She turned around to them holding a hand to her chest and a teasing expression “Thank goodness we didn’t go with a narrative that would give me that role because I’d crumble under the pressure”

“Only for the first week, then it would quickly get to your head” Chanhee scoffed patting her on the back and making her giggle. Eric chuckled as well and urged them outside “Let’s go work, so we can get Kingdom’s lost princess back to her place”

“Mock me as you want, I never asked for the nickname”

[moonylvi]

Nct ot23 reaction to their s.o being really shy and blushing all the time 💗💞

A/N: Thank you so much for requesting this. It's actually my first ever reaction and I really hope you like it.💕 Also please tell me if I made a mistake, English isn't my native language. Disclaimer: This is purely fictional, means it's an AU and in no way meant to harm anyone.  Pairings: ¹/23 memberX gn! reader Warnings: Cringe-worthy content and me trying to be funny and writing some reactions longer than intended. Genre: Fluff, partly crackish?

Taeil:  Okay, I honestly think he would tease u. Gemini things, I don't make the rules. It was a super awkward moment because he told you one of his jokes, making you burst into laughter. And with that, you accidentally spit on his arm. Of course you immediately cleaned it, not being able to look at him for good 3 hours. When you finally reappeared from behind your scarf, he couldn't help, but to make another dumb joke, connected to you spitting on him.

Johnny:  Would definitely bug you about, why you suddenly acted all shy and blushed everytime he told you to look at him. Started teasing you without knowing the reason, until you finally told him that you had walked in on him showering earlier. Broke out into a huge burst of laughter. "Oh, Y/N you already saw me naked before. What's the problem?" Taeyong: He would definitely try to comfort you. First he wants to know why you've been blushing so hard and acting more shy than normally. Then he would tell you it's not a big deal, generally making you feel more secure. Hugs you and maybe also pinches your cheeks. Yuta:  I can see him not caring that much about you being shy. But when you are blushing, he'll chuckle, poke your cheeks, cuddles you and also tells you, how you look exactly like that cute girl in one of his Animes. Kun:  Very mature about it. Similar to TY, he would make you feel safe. "Y/N there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Really, if you didn't dropped it, either Hendery or Leon would have and in contrary to them you at least cleaned up the shards." Doyoung:  100% him touching, poking and pinching your cheeks. He would most likely laugh at you without any problems, but if someone else laughs at you, he probably switches into protector-mode, hugging and comforting you. Ten:  Annoyingly asks you why you were so shy and blushing all the time. Goes up to that moment where he tried to convince you that he will die, if you won't tell him. Naturally you can't let that happen, unlocking your phone and showing him a picture Kun sent to you. The two of were laughing at the dorm, looking like two maniacs. "Why are you embarrassed about it? It's cute. We should use it for our next Christmas cards." Jaehyun:  Finally, our valentines boy! Thinks you're super cute while blushing. Actually likes your shy side a lot and cuddles you, while calling you new nicknames. "My cute little flamingo!" WinWin:  Also kind on the unbothered side for most of the times. Just ignores your blush, knowing you want it to go away and pointing it out, wouldn't help at all. Sometimes he would blush too, especially if it is a situation where he is the reason for your blush. Jungwoo:  In the past few months he's been confusing everyone. He used to be a shy and reserved puppy, but now he said his hobby is Netflix and Chill with a smirk... Either way I think I'll go with him being shy too, for no reason. You were playing with your hair, while watching him reading through new lyrics. When he looked up and met your eyes, you both flushed red and quickly looked everywhere but at each other. Lucas:  I really don't know how he would act. He's embarrassing himself all the time, but mostly doesn't care and continues being weird. So for you, he'll probably laugh or at least chuckle a bit, crushing you in his arms. MAYBE, JUST MAYBE he's being shy too. Deep below I can see a very sensitive person in him, so that's where his enormous hugs come from. Mark:  Mark is the king of shyness. You remember how he tried explaining some lyrics, yeah? Well, he would have no idea why you were blushing and hiding in your sweater palms. A bit confused at first, but after he knew what caused your cheeks to burn up, he'll chuckle awkwardly and ignore it, waiting for you to calm down. In very few cases, CUDDLES. Have you seen him with Winwin? Xiaojun:  He would ensure that nothing serious caused your sudden shy behavior. Like you spilled a bit of water on the table. After a short chuckle by himself, he tries to get you to laugh over the situation and forget it shortly after. However if it was something serious, he would pull you into his arms and reassures you, everything is fine. Hendery:  I can see him being the actual reason why you were blushing the whole evening. Every other minute he tells you cheesy, but cute pick-up-lines, not noticing what it does to you. Eventually he did and stopped, laughing at your behavior, but when you bid him goodbye, he couldn't resist telling you a last one."It's not 'see you tomorrow'. It is 'see you soon'

because I'll meet you in my dreams" At this point I want to add a cringe pick up line for Mark that I found. It's a bit mean but if you take it with humor, read it, if not, skip the note. Did you just fart? 'Cause you blew me away.... Renjun:  I can't decide whether he would chuckle at you or try to make you feel less shy. He knows how it is to be teased about something embarrassing (geurae naegen neoppuniyAa), but he also teases the members a lot, so maybe it'll be depending on the situation. If it's about something big like cracking your voice on national TV he would comfort and reassure you, probably some cuddles. Also tries to make you forget it. If it's because of an unimportant situation he would laugh at you. The way you just walked into a closed door? Hilarious. He would bring it up weeks later, turning you into a shy mess once again. Jeno: I can totally see him being a safekeeper, inviting you into his arms and cuddling you, until you are ready to face other people again. Except for the cases where you stay where you are and mumble into his shirt what happened, making him laugh and squeeze you a bit more. Haechan:  Definitely in team teasing! He is probably the most annoying one in Nct and with you? Good luck, he is even more annoying. When you spontaneously went to the store, to buy a new bottle of your favorite bodywash and your boyfriend decided to tag along, you hadn't thought it would end like this. You just picked the bottle, when he screamed "How on earth smells 'Fresh Mountain breeze. Or here, look 'Chocolate cookie cream tart'." The few people who were standing in the same row giving you weird looks, causing you to blush and embarrassingly trying to pull him away from the different bodywash's. "No, look here is one called 'hot winternight wood'. Why are there such stupid names?" His outburst making you blush more. "Haechan, come on. Let's go home." Finally he looked at you noticing the red hue covering not only your cheeks but your whole face and of course he started laughing more. "You are so embarrassed, aren't you? Actually it should be the person who chose these silly names. I mean how can you call a simple bodywash 'Sparkling Starlight Rain'?" You couldn't help the laughter that now flowed uncontrollably out of you, forgetting your prior flustered state and enjoying your happy boyfriend. Please ignore this being long af Jaemin:  Would definitely tease you in a cute way. Means, he's chuckling and poking your red cheeks with his fingers, cooing something along the lines of "My Y/Nie. My little Angel is so cute when blushing." *cue you blushing more* YangYang:  Most likely also part of the teasing line, but also comforts you. He and hyuck are literally best friends. You really wish you could turn back time at the moment. YangYang invited you to the WayV dorm for the first time, but you already knew the rest of the boys, so you were pretty chill, walking down the street, breathing the cold air in. Maybe a bit too chilled, considering the fact you had pressed the wrong doorbell and with that, got to know their old neighbor, who ignored your apologizing and accused you of pulling a prank on her, especially after she heard, you were the s.o of the 'loud screaming kindergarten-boy'. When you arrived at the right door, you were greeted by Hendery, Lucas and YangYang laughing loudly. "Did you really just rang the wrong doorbell?!" Making you feel the blood rise to your cheeks. "Come in, you need to tell us everything she said. We only heard the end where she called me a kindergarten boy." Shyly you sat on the couch, fiddling with your fingers, after you finished talking, waiting for the boys to stop laughing at you. Suddenly your boyfriend latched himself onto you, comforting you in a big hug. "If you want to, we can really pull a prank on her the next time, you visit." Shotaro: Similar to Jungwoo. I still need to figure this boy out. He made those tiktok's, but now he is the cutest little smiling otter. Anyway, I think it's depending on the situation. If it is because of something one of you

said or did, he'll get shy too, copying your mannerism and surely goes into 🦦mode. If someone else caused it, he probably tries to stay calm and gets you to calm down too. Sungchan: I get a comfortable and reassuring vibe from him, so he'll kinda be like TY. When he first wanted to introduce you to the rest of the members you suddenly became really shy and tried to hide behind his back. He was confused at first, but soon found out that you were 'just' nervous. "Trust me Y/N, they are going to like you. Please don't worry! I'm not going to leave your side, okay?" Chenle:  This boy, honestly he would be laughing in his best dolphin at you. "Y/N you look like a tomato. What happened?" Which leads to you, trying to hide behind your hands. "Nothing." Of course he wouldn't believe you, switching his technique to tickling you. "Tell me what happened!" But you surprisingly stayed strong and instead settled for cuddling with your boyfriend to distract him and hopefully recover yourself from your heavy blushing. Jisung:  I have a feeling it would be mutual. Like you two just accidentally bumped your heads together and immediately started apologizing. You are both super embarrassed and shy about the situation, but eventually you will forget what happened or just ignore it. UNTIL someone brings it up again and both of you are blushing like crazy AGAIN.

[harry-styles-sunflower]

Last Christmas

a/n: Pure fluff, some cursing, 3k, thats all :) Please reblog and let me know what you think! 

//

You were walking down the sidewalk holding your trench coat tightly to your body. You made it to Johnny's Club and you pulled the heavy door open.

"Jeez," you sighed. You shook off your coat and walked to the coat room. You hung it up and took your phone out from its pocket. You turned and grabbed one of the aprons and put it on tying a knot behind your back. You slid your phone in one of the pockets and shoved your other two pockets with straws and a towel. You walked down the hallway and then behind the bar.

"Hey Matt," you said as you clocked in to your job.

"Hey y/n, what's up? Cold out?" he asked as he wiped the counter.

"Freezing, it's just going to get worse. How many people have come in?" you faced him.

"About 5 maybe?" he reorganized all the bottles on shelves, "Could have been 4," he shrugged.

"I don’t know why Johnny's making us work tonight, its Christmas Eve. Everyone is either travelling or with their families," you sighed and leaned against the counter.

"Yeah I don't really get it either," he stood next to you.

"At least you get to go home to Abby," you nudge him with your shoulder.

"Wouldn't really want you to be here alone though," he nudged you back.

"I'll be fine, I can hold my own. I'll grab my pepper spray before you go," you grab your towel from your pocket and lightly whip his knee with it.

"Okay," he laughs and goes into the back to do inventory.

Few hours later, Matt was gone and you were bored on your phone. The club was empty and the you played Christmas music through the speakers. You mumbled the lyrics to frosty the snowman and checked the time.

10 PM already. Great. Just 4 more hours. You checked your Twitter and saw people talking about 2016 being "the year" so you got off. Who can predict that stuff anyway. "Do they know its Christmas?" began playing and it was one of your favorites. You grabbed a bottle of bourbon and began using it as a mic.

"Its Christmas time, there's no need to be afraid," you sang. You spun around and lifted your hand up to the sky.

"At Christmas time, we let in light and we banish," when you spun you were shocked to see a male silhouette watching you, so you couldn’t help scream 'Shade'.

"Hi sorry I didn’t see you there," you said quickly.

"Sorry about that," he said as he came more into the light. He had long brown hair, sharp facial features, and bright green eyes.  

"It's okay," you turned around to lower the music slightly, "What could I get you to drink?" you turned back around to face him. You placed a napkin in front of him as he shrugged off his coat.

"Um Tequila, with ice," he said slowly. You nodded and got a small glass. You opened the freezer to scoop the ice and when you did you placed the cubes in his cup.

"Brand of choice?" you asked.

"No, surprise me," he smiled. You nodded and poured some 1800. "Thank you," he smiled again.

"No problem," you smiled back. You turned around and pretended to organize the shelf as you watched your customer through the mirror behind the display shelves. He was staring into his drink deep in thought. He had an accent, sounded British. Maybe feeling homesick on a night like this. He took a sip of his drink before pulling his hair up into a bun. You could see his face slightly better and he was handsome. Very handsome. You turned to face him and wiped your hands with your towel.

"Everything okay?" you asked.

"Yes thank you," he looked at you and then around the club, "What did you do to be the only one working tonight?" he grinned.

"Um, not sure honestly. Might've been telling my boss he should've given us a Christmas bonus." you shrugged. He laughed lightly and it was beautiful. Appearance wise and sound wise.

"The performance you were giving when I walked in should count as entertainment so I'd say you deserve the bonus," he smirked behind his glass.

"Thank you," you giggled and then blushed because the giggle was embarrassing.

"Join me for a drink will you?" he bit his lip.

"Um I shouldn't" you shook your head.

"Not even a club soda?" he stirred the liquid in his glass.

"Okay," you grabbed yourself a glass and poured some seltzer inside. You walked in front of the bar and settled on a stool next to him.

"So.. You're obviously not originally from New York, but is it your home?"

"Um no, I'm on break and I thought Christmas in New York could be fun to do alone after 5 years of not being alone. But it's actually very lonely," he takes a swig of his drink and you watched him as he spoke. The way his lips pursed with certain words and the way his face scrunched slightly at the burn of the tequila.

"Did you just get out of a relationship or something?" you ask. He turns his stool to face you with his eyebrows furrowed. It was as if the wheels in his head were turning behind his green eyes. You had no idea who he was or you were a great actress.

"Harry," he stuck his hand out for you to shake, "and no, no relationship. I spent five years working and now I am on uh sabbatical," he smiled charmingly. You shook his hand and nodded along to his words.

"I'm y/n," you smiled.

 It was nearing 11:30 PM and you were laughing so hard you were tearing up.

"Okay okay, what does a dentist do when he gets on a rollercoaster?" you asked him.

"What?" he giggled.

"He braces himself!" you burst into laughter and so does Harry.

"Wait wait, doesn't an orthodontist deal with braces?" you stopped suddenly and put on your best poker face. He cracked a smile and you couldn’t help it. You broke one too. Jingle Bell Rock came on and you couldn’t help but get up and go to the dance floor.

"Come on, come here!" you grabbed his hand and pulled him off his stool. "Do you know the mean girls dance?"

"Barely, it goes like this?" he put his hand up and swung his hips dramatically. You laughed and sang along to the song.

"Don't forget to slap your thighs," you show him and he copies your move. The song soon ends and you hear the familiar tune of 'Last Christmas'.

"I love this song, it's my favorite, you whispered.

"Would you like to dance?" he offered his hand. You looked at his long slender fingers that were covered by a few rings. You took his hand and he pulled you closer. He placed his hand on the small of your back.

Ah, aha

Ooh

Oh

"I like your rings," you say as you look over at your hand in his.

"Want one?"

"Do you just give your rings out to anyone like that?" you laughed lightly.

"No, but you’ve been very kind to me tonight. You can take it as a Christmas present," you nodded along and continued dancing to the music.

Once bitten and twice shy

I keep my distance

But you still catch my eye

Tell me, baby

Do you recognize me?

You could hear him singing the music quietly. You detach your hand from his and intertwine your own behind his neck.

"You have a nice voice," you tell him.

"Funny you say that," he smiles. His dimples were very cute.

"Funny how?" you ask.

"Nothing," he shook his head, "I didn’t think this was how I was going to spend my Christmas Eve but I'm glad I am," he said. You tried to hide your blush and you mumbled a 'me too'.

Face on a lover with a fire in his heart (I gave you my heart)

A man under cover but you tore him apart

Maybe next year, I'll give it to someone

I'll give it to someone special (special, someone)

The song ended and you looked up at him. His face was only inches away from yours and you could feel his breath fan your face. You both leaned in but jumped back when Usher's 'Yeah!' came on. You ran your fingers through your hair with one hand and placed your hand over your heart with your other.

"Sorry," you laughed awkwardly.

"Yeah, I'm not," you felt his hands grab the sides of your cheeks and his lips on yours. You kissed him back and placed your hands over his lightly. When he pulled away, you had a blissful smile on your lips.

"I'll take your 'peace' ring," you smile. He kissed you again and smiled into the kiss.

"Here you go," he slid the ring off his finger and put it in your palm.

"Thanks," you held it in between your forefinger and thumb. You slid it onto your thumb, the only finger it fit. His phone began ringing and he excused himself to answer. From what you could hear he was speaking to someone named Jeff and he was late to a party. You cleaned up the bar and put the glasses away. When he hung up the phone, he walked over to the bar with a guilty look on his face.

"So my boss wants me to go to his Christmas party," he frowned.

"Oh, okay. Have fun," you smiled. Fake smiled to be exact. You didn’t want him to go just yet.

"Can I get your number? Call you sometime maybe?" he asked and your heart skipped a beat.

"Yeah! I mean yeah sure," you shrugged. He walked behind the bar and lifted your chin with his finger.

"No need to try and play it cool," he kissed your forehead. You looked down and blushed. You grabbed a napkin and wrote your number on it as he put his coat on. You walked over when you finished writing on it and tucked into his coat's pocket.

"Thank you for my present, my number will be your present," you giggled.

"Sounds lovely," he kissed your lips before leaving. You sighed and wiped down the bar before closing up. Hopefully you could make up an hour another day, you needed to go home and close early.

After Harry left the bar and waited for a taxi, a man next to him sneezed into his hands.

"Damn allergies," he said.

"I know the feeling mate," Harry replied. The man sneezed again, this time in need of a tissue.

"Here mate," he handed him the napkin he felt in his pocket. Without a second thought. That was the kind of person Harry was.

"Thank you," he said before Harry caught a cab and got in. When he reached into his pocket to get your number the realization hit that he gave the napkin to the man. When he called the bar with the number he found on Google it said the bar was now closed.

//

"Fuck!" you yell at your rental car. You were currently at a gas station or as the English say, 'the petro station,' and you were trying to refill a tire. But it kept emptying. You were the only one at the gas station until a black Range Rover joined you. You decided to travel to England for the holidays since your family decided to vacation to China without you. You were getting cold and it was Christmas eve. You just wanted to get back to the small cottage you were staying in. You walked into the shop and headed for the snack aisle. The end of 'santa baby' played over the speakers in the store. You surfed the options on the shelves and grabbed a few chips (crisps) and searched for some sweets. Next song to play was 'last Christmas' and you accidentally groaned aloud. The song had been ruined for you ever since you met Harry 5 years ago and he never called. Typical musician which you came to find out. The guy behind you laughed lightly before speaking,

"Don't like this song?" he asked. You turned around with your snacks in hand.

"Bad memory goes a long with it," when the man turns around your shocked to see who it is and he's just as shocked to see you.

"YOU!" you practically yell.

"Let me I can explain," he holds his hands up in defense.

"I don’t want one!" you walk away.

"Wait! Please, I promise I'll tell you the truth." he says. Okay realistically you had no where to go before the tow truck came.

"Fine," you cross your arms.

"Well I can't believe our paths have crossed again," he smiles. You don’t. "Um well okay. So after I left that night, I accidentally gave this guy my napkin because he sneezed and I realized too late. I know it's a rubbish excuse but it’s the truth. Oh I also tried calling the bar that night and you already had closed and then when I called again the person on the phone said you were busy and I just didn't know if that was an excuse or not. I guess you've figured out who I am by now too.." he drifted off.

"I do and your excuse sounds very unrealistic," you sigh.

"It's the truth, pinky promise," he holds a pinky up. You squint your eyes at him before joining your pinky with his and huffing 'fine'.

"How come you're in England?"

"Vacationing," you stare at him slightly. "You cut your hair," you remembered it was long last time you saw each other. He ran his hand through his shorter curls and nodded.

"Yeah um cut it a few months after we met, would you want to grab a bite?" he pinched his lip between his fingers. He was still handsome as ever.

"Okay, my car actually has a flat tire.."

"We’ll use my car," he smiled at you.

When you got to his car it smelled like him. You felt slightly uncomfortable with this blast of the past coming back into your life. Especially so handsome. He began driving on a road you’ve never been on and you watched the houses pass through your window.

"So, you must know everything now," he sighed, "I enjoyed that you didn’t," he drove with one hand, his left entangled in his hair.

"That's a full of it assumption. I've heard your music and that you went out with Camille Rowe that’s all," you shrugged, "I can't believe you were in this famous pop band for 5 years and I had no clue," you laughed.

"So maybe not everything..good," you noticed he was hiding a smile. Or at least trying to. He kept driving for about a half hour before pulling into a driveway.

"Um you said we were going to grab a bite?"

"It's Christmas Eve everything is closed, I promise I'm not going to kill you," he smiled.

"Very convincing," you sighed. You stepped out of the car and followed him up the steps to his house.

"Fancy a grilled cheese?" he looked behind his shoulder and grinned.

"Sure," you took off your shoes and followed him to his kitchen. His house was huge but neat. It was modern and very bachelor like. Yet cozy and warm. You settled on one of his stools at his kitchen counter while he turned on the fireplace. When he made his way over to his stove and heated up a pan, he grabbed the bread bag and pulled 4 slices.

"So catch me up," he smiled.

"Um well. I've been working. Running an Etsy shop. Just made custom sweaters and such.. I quit the club a few months after we met. Found out I kissed Harry Styles. Otherwise I lead a very boring life.” You laugh.

“I did think of you these past 5 years, don’t think I didn’t. I wondered what you were doing and if you were okay. If you had found out who I was. If you’d come to one of my shows,” he said as he cooked.  

"I didn’t think you thought that way of me," you say honestly.

"I did, still do. I've had a 5 year long crush," he blushes. You shake your head and call bs on his claim.

"It’s the truth. But I'm glad to know you don’t feel the same," he sighed before serving you your sandwich. You got up and walked around his counter and watched as he moved to grab you a cup.

"Who said I didn't still have a crush? I still have your ring in my jewelry box crying out loud," you laughed and rubbed your head embarrassed.

"You do?" he smiled brightly. You nodded and walked towards him. You pulled him by the end of his shirt and grabbed his cheeks to pull him down for a kiss. His arms wrapped around your waist lifting you off your feet. You wrapped your legs around his waist before he placed you on the counter. You kissed him for a bit more before pulling away.

"I am hungry though," he laughed and his breath hit your face in a familiar way that made you smile.

"Okay," he kissed your cheek before handing you your plate and smiled as he saw your eyes widen once you took a bite.

LETS TALK ABOUT IT :)