#honestly just a bunch of things i wanted to draw all rolled up into one picture. thats all

[purupurple]

i think yellow suits her

[cosmosis]

MOVED TO @seratopia

miguel o’hara x reader (fluff) - jealousy

miguel gets jealous possessive after a new intern flirts with you this is part of the same universe as my call oneshot!

Being 2nd in charge of the multiverse is... honestly not that hard for you. It’s mostly just co-leading, and being a secretary. Lyla helps out a bunch, but sometimes, a sassy AI can only do so much. 

Jess informed you of a new intern she recruited. Apparently, he’s having his first day today, which means you’ll probably have to do a quick run-through of things with him later. 

For now, it’s your fated duty to sit with Miguel at his desk so he doesn’t get all pouty later. He starts huffing and puffing when you aren’t near, takes it out on the kids sometimes. 

Thanks to your suggestion, Miguel invested in a nice desk and swivel chair for the office, so now it looks more like an actual workspace instead of a maniac’s plot room. (either way, he his one lmao)

Since Lyla’s gone for the time being, you’re standing up on the office platform, tapping away at a multitude of screens. Miguel lays lazily in the office chair, swiveled up behind you to rub his face into your upper back, as well as run his hands along your tummy. 

“Hun, you gotta let go. I needa tour the intern.” You mutter, closing in on an ID photo of the recruit.

“No.“

“Well, if I don’t do it, then who will?“ You ask. 

“Jess.“

“She’s busy on her break. Pregnant women need breaks, you know.“

“Ugh. I don’t want you to leave.“ He whines. squeezing you tighter. 

You start squirming out of his grip, pulling his pinky off of your stomach. Inching away, you push Miguel away by his head. Reluctantly, he starts letting you go, lazily running his hands onto the skin of your hips and lower thighs before letting go. 

“I’ll see you in a bit, baby.“ You say, scuffing up his hair with your palm. Gracefully, you leap down from the platform, somersaulting onto the floor and skating out the exit. You hop over a few stray cardboard boxes. 

Miguel watches you stroll away, and fixes his hair back into place. 

Lyla magically appears, phasing in and out with a different sly look each time. She snickers, flickering all around Miguel’s head. 

“Whipped.“

“Shut the fuck up.“

. . .

Miguel’s blood starts to boil as soon as you roll in with that stupid, bastard of an intern. He’s too close to you for comfort, so close to his arm nudging yours... Miguel’s teeth start to clench, his fangs close to drawing blood from his mouth. He’s paying too much attention to you, there’s a vibe he gets that he hates to his core. 

Everything about him is aggravating; the blonde hair, the snarky smirk, all of it.  

“...and this is Miguel’s office!“ You say, gesturing your hand to the majority of the area. 

“Sweet, nice to meet the bossman.“

Bossman, his ass. Miguel would only ever let you call him bossman. 

“Miguel! Come down!“ You yell, and his heart warms in his chest. He turns around from his standing form on the office platform, eyeing the intern in order to scare him a bit. 

“Hey, what’s up man! Glad to finally meet the man behind the slaughter!“ The intern exclaims, his hands rested on his hips. 

Miguel fights every urge to both roll his eyes and tackle the recruit, keeping a somewhat straight face on. He chuckles a little, not a single trace of a smile on his face. 

“Heh, yeah? Excited to meet the bossman?“ Miguel taunts, but it looks like the intern can’t tell he is. 

“Heck yeah dude! Where do I start?“

Miguel starts nodding a little, plastering on a face smile, chuckling a bit...

Before he throws the entire office chair at the recruit. Not to hit you, though. He’d never, ever hit you. 

Instantly, the intern turns away, shielding his body with his hands. In the nick of time, though, you latch your webbing onto the chair, slinging it away to side before it could harm anyone. You cross your arms. 

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry about tha- MIGUEL!“ You scream. 

And he throws a literal file cabinet at the man. Again, you latch it out of way without problem. 

“What th'heck, man?! What’s your fuckin’ problem?!“ The intern yells, spreading his arms out. 

“My fuckin’ problem is you nagging my wife!“ He roars. 

“Wait a sec- she’s your wife?“

Miguel then  leaps down from the platform, chin held up high in a sinister glare. Slowly, he steps over towards the both of you, fixing his eyes on the intern the entire time. 

Miguel’s tall, really tall compared to the newbie. He pokes his finger to the recruit, leaning in real close. 

“Stay at least 5 feet away from my wife at all times.“ Miguel utters, and you kinda feel bad for the new guy. 

You cross your arms. “C’mon, Miguel. He’s literally new, take it easy on him!” You say back, and Miguel pouts, whines. Possessively, he reaches over to you, pulling in you in by the hip to try to soothe you. It doesn’t work, and you present yourself from giving into his needy touches.  

And then, you turn around back to the newbie. “Gosh, I’m so sorry about that! He’s usually not like this-”

“Man, fuck this.“ The intern exclaims, taking a few steps back in agitation. “Take me back home, I ain’t dealin’ with this shit!“

He storms off, kicking a stray cardboard box on the way out. 

“Aw, crap.“

“Finally.“

You swerve back around, hands on your hips. “Miguel, that was uncalled for.”

“Yes it was! He was smothering all over you!“ He yells, throwing his hands up in the air like it was the most obvious thing ever. 

“Well, now thanks to you, we lost a recruit.“

“One of literally thousands!“

“And now, there’s papers everywhere on the floor!“

“Shhh, honey, I’ll clean it up later.“

Ignoring your frown, Miguel finally pulls you into him, pressing your lower back into his own with a nose into your hair.

“I saw the way he put his arm around you. He was flirting with you too. Hated it.“ Miguel utters. 

“When?“ You ask.

“On the surveillance.“ He says, and you sigh. He’s right, the guy was flirting with you for a bit, but you chose to ignore it so you could get over with the tour faster. 

“Eh, he gave me the heebie jeebies from the beginning.“ You say, and Miguel automatically squeezes you tighter into him, a deep grumble bellowing from his inner throat.

“I’m never letting you tour anyone ever again.“ Miguel admits.

“After that? Go ahead.“ You scoff, and finally, he sighs in relief. 

He tries drags you back to the office platform again, but then forgets that he threw the chair, grumbling in regret. Instead, he just hovers behind you for the rest of the day, occasionally pressing a smooch to your head. 

[aidaronan]

"First movie you ever saw in theaters?" Steve lounged opposite of Robin on the couch in his living room, the stereo on low, spitting out Madonna on the local radio station.

"Oh, that's easy." Robin bit off part of a licorice. "Freaky Friday. I remember because I was terrified for weeks that I'd end up switching places with my mom and have to, like, balance a checkbook or something."

Steve laughed, separating m&ms in his hand. "You still don't know how to balance a checkbook, do you?"

"Like you do." Robin playfully glared at him. "Okay, here's a good one. First kiss."

Steve ate the sole blue m&m first, a grin spreading across his face because he usually lied about his first kiss, but he didn't have to. Not with Robin. "Camp Stronghold when I was nine. We met up in the boathouse after lights out to trade contraband."

"Contraband, huh?" Robin raised her brows.

"Candy. I swear my parents loaded me up like I was going to prison. 'This is as good as cash in there, Steven.' I think my dad wanted me to network or something. Because, you know, I was totally gonna start a small business with a group of eight-year-olds."

Robin snickered. "And the kiss?"

"Ah. I didn't actually want candy. I just wanted this kid to like me so bad, and I didn't know why until we were there in the dark tripping into each other because we couldn't see. I had all these butterflies, and we were standing close enough that I could feel the heat off his sunburn in the air." Steve could still picture it. The way he couldn't see more than a few inches in front of his face. "Then he kissed me, just this quick peck on the lips before he turned tail and ran. I left the boathouse with a Snickers and one massive first crush."

"Did anything else happen?" Robin asked.

"No. It was the last week of camp and I think he freaked himself out over it. I don't know. He didn't even really say bye to me after we climbed off the bus to meet our parents. Never saw him again. I honestly never even thought to get his name."

"That sucks."

"Yeah. I just hope he's doing okay, you know? That he's got people in his life that make him feel like he's allowed."

Robin looked at him softly, reaching out to give his ankle a squeeze. "Hey, you never know. You might run into him again someday. Maybe he's your soulmate or something."

"Please. I think you're pretty obviously my soulmate." Steve nudged Robin with his foot. "But I guess he could settle for 2nd place."

"Oh, there's a toast for sure." Snacks tumbling off her lap, Robin reached for her can of Coke on the coffee table and raised it as high as she could reach. "To both of us finding our 2nd places."

"Cheers to that." Steve thrust his own Coke into the air.

____

It felt like a big cosmic joke that Steve would be in a boathouse when he realized who Eddie Munson had been all that time. Eddie had looked so different when he'd transferred into Hawkins that Steve had never even given him a second look, not during their shared classes, not during any of those cafeteria tirades. Not during the numerous occasions where he gave the kids rides to D&D.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait!"

It was the eyes that finally pulled back the curtain and cut away all those in-between years. Steve had never been close enough to clock them, but he couldn't deny them now. Not at such close range, Eddie holding a broken bottle against his neck, trembling with so much fear that Steve worried he might actually use it.

Dropping the oar from his own shaking hands, Steve said the only thing he could think to say.

"Well, this brings back memories."

Eddie didn't respond, the fear in the air drawing out every second, making it feel infinite. Behind them and in another universe, Dustin said a bunch of stuff Steve barely heard for the pounding in his ears. He watched beads of sweat roll down Eddie's forehead and waited for something to give.

Like clouds fat with rain, Eddie finally broke open, tension draining out of him, arm and weapon dropping to his side. He exhaled a shaky breath, maintaining eye contact, his expression too complicated for Steve to fully read.

Steve was about to say something else when Eddie finally spoke, cocking his head to the side and leveling Steve with a look.

"And here I spent all these years thinking you forgot."

[nickfowlerrr]

🦋 - “what would you do without me?” with steve rogers maybe…? please? :}

(you don’t have to if you don’t want to, it’s totally up to you because ik you probably have a bunch of asks and you’re busy. and ofc if bucky instead of steve is better for you then im fine with that too! love you sweets and again… happy 3k ❤️)

working overtime

pairing: steve rogers x curvy!reader

warnings: literally nothing but smut and a lil bit of fluff. 18+ only.

words: 1.6k

notes: look what you made me do. 💀

but actually, lol, thank you for the request. i wasn't sure i was gonna do it, but i woke up this morning and decided to at least try. i have such a hard time writing steve, especially smut with steve, but this just took off on it's own once i started! hope you enjoy it. not edited and quite hastily written, so sorry for any errors!

thank you in advance for reading! as always, reblogs and comments are more than welcome and so appreciated. let me know what you think! 🩵

"Oooh, fuuuuuck," the sultry moan draws out from you as you grasp onto his body even tighter, pulling him down even closer as you whimper in his ear, your hot breath across his sweat dampened skin and your legs circling his waist as best they can.

His thick length is hitting just the right spot deep inside your warm walls and you swear to god you're about to combust from the never ending pleasure he's torturing you with.

Your nails are leaving marks all over his solid back, and his heady grunts in your ear are doing nothing but pushing you closer and closer to the edge of ecstasy.

With every deep stroke of his cock inside you, your chests are brushing together. You arch up into him, you need him closer. You need to feel him, every inch of him that you can, along your hot, sensitive skin.

Your lips are searching for him, desperate for his kiss as he fucks you so perfectly.

You nip at his jaw and earn a moan that spurs you on, your lips now incessant until he finally turns his head a bit and meets you. His lips are soft but adamant against your own, hot and fervent as he continues thrusting into you just the same.

"Please, Stevie," you mewl against his lips breathily, sounding so debauched and pathetic.

He fucking loves it.

He drops his body down on yours, but continues to hold most of his own weight with his arms either side of you, one on the mattress and one on your fleshy hip, keeping you exactly where he wants you.

His hips are flush to yours now, he makes sure you feel him, pressing you down into the mattress until you're a mess of broken moans squeezing around him. He can't take his eyes off your pretty face. The way your eyes are closed tight in your pleasure, how your lips are parted just slightly as you let out the most beautiful sounds, just for him.

His gaze stays trained on your face as he begins to slowly roll his hips against yours. The gasp you let out and the way your eyes snap open when he stimulates your sensitive clit with his movements send him even closer to edge he's been on for the past few minutes. He holds himself back, though. He just wants one more orgasm from you, and then you can call it a night.

He said he'd be quick, but from the twinkle in his eye as he kissed your neck, his big hands wandering all over your soft body, those big blues peering up at you, you both knew he'd be anything but.

It'd been a prolonged torture as he ate you out like a man starved, his tongue ceaseless as his thick fingers brought to the edge over and over again before he finally allowed you to come.

When he finally slid his throbbing length into you, you honestly could've come right then, but he took his time with you yet again. He moved slow and deep inside of you, ensuring you felt every inch of his heavy cock as he fucked you like you were the most delicate, precious thing in the world. And to him, you were.

He touched you so gently, large warm hands squeezing and caressing every inch of your body that he could. He slid out of you, turning to sit against the headboard of the bed before he pulled you onto him.

He nuzzled into your neck as you sank down onto his cock, the stretch of him had your head falling back in bliss as his held you to him, his hands on your back, keeping you close.

You rode him just the way he liked, your hands in his hair, holding him to you as he kissed, nipped, and sucked on your sensitive nipples, his hands smoothing up and down your backside as he kept you astride him.

When he felt your walls tightening around him, he grunted deeply, trying to keep hold of himself. He moved a hand around your hip, traveling down to where you met him, his thumb finding your clit and working circles of the bundle of nerves. He had you coming around him in seconds.

You swore you were through after that, but he had other ideas.

He kept hold of you, turning you back over onto the mattress as he hovered above you.

He gave you some time to come down, leaving his cock inside your tight walls, but not moving within you as he kissed you softly, trailing his lips over your skin as he hummed and whispered praises to you.

When he felt your walls squeeze him, he smirked and found your eye. "You ready, sweetheart?" he asked.

"Steeeeve," you bemoaned, "I have work in the morning," you complained while tilting your head to give him more access to your neck as he continued kissing you. You could feel his smile against your skin and couldn't keep your own from gracing your lips.

"Just one more for me, baby," he murmured against your skin, "then we'll sleep."

With that, he began fucking you once more, but his thrusts weren't as slow.

He was hitting you just as deep, but his pace was quicker.

And now here you were, teetering on the edge of your third orgasm of the night.

With every slow, deliberate roll of Steve's hips into yours, you swear you could cry from the overwhelming sensation. It felt so incredibly good, you couldn't stop the gasps and whines that were leaving you even if you'd wanted to.

"You take me so fucking well, angel," he groans. "Squeeze my cock just like that. Oh, fuck. You're so good to me, baby.," he praises with every rock of his hips.

His hand squeezes your hip tight as your legs starts to twitch. "I'm gonna give it to you, baby, don't worry," he soothes as you cry, the pressure compounding as the coil in your belly tightens even more - your muscles taunt as you can feel your walls starting to clench down on him. "I know what you need, sweetheart, I'll give you every last fucking drop," he grits out as his pace falters a bit.

One particular thrust finally has you coming completely undone. You can barely hear yourself as your body shatters around him, your moans and cries and his name like a prayer falling off your tongue are all lost to you as your walls pulse tightly around Steve's cock.

The sensation mixed with the sounds coming from your lips have Steve finally letting himself go; his thick, heavy load painting your walls as your body refuses to let him go without draining every last drop of release he has to offer you.

You're leaking him by the time he finally stops coming, heavy pants from both of you filling the air as he easily grabs your plush body and tugs you into him as he lays down, wrapping his arms around you and sighing in contentment as you let yourself nuzzle into him. You're both a mess of sweat and stickiness but you can't seem to mind all that much as he holds you.

"That was so good," you mumble in your exhaustion, your tiredness now more evident than ever as you melt in his arms.

"Yeah," he smiles. "And see, you're all tuckered out and ready to fall asleep now," he teases.

"I need to pee," you pout into his chest. He laughs and takes a breath before he suddenly moves to stand, holding you in his arms with ease. You know he's super soldier strong, but you'll never get used to how easy he makes it seem.

Your legs are around him, surely making a mess of his abdomen, but he doesn't seem to care as he walks you to the bathroom.

He sets you down gently with a kiss to your forehead before he turns, "I'm gonna grab the towels from the dryer," he says, leaving you to relieve yourself.

When you're washing your hands, he returns, clean towels folded and ready to be put in the cabinet.

"Wanna shower now or in the morning?"

"What time is it?"

"A little past eleven," he tells you, having the decency to be a little sheepish with the information.

"Steve!" you admonish with a whine.

"I'm sorry," he laughs, "but really, do you have to go in on a Saturday? You sure the boss needs you that badly?"

"Oh, the boss needs me pretty damn badly," you answer. He smirks at your quick response.

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind you calling out one day," he says.

"No? Well what would he possibly do without me there?"

He shrugs, "I have a feeling he's gonna be taking the day off, too," he smiles as he gets closer to you, arms wrapping around you.

"Is he, now?" you question.

"He is," he whispers as he leans close to you, brushing his lips against yours. "We both deserve it."

It's your turn to smile then as you kiss him gently. "We do," you agree. "Thank you," you add with another kiss.

"Mmm," he hums against you. "What would you do without me?" he jokes. You chuckle.

"Might get some fucking sleep for once," you shove him playfully, laughing as he humors you and pretends to be affected by your push. "Start the shower, Captain, you're a mess."

"Yes, ma'am," he says with a smirk, his eyes trailing your body, lighting a fire under your skin as he does. "You gonna join me? I know you cleaned up some," he says, pulling you in by your arms, "but we could always get you a little more dirty."

[pxgeturner]

omg tell me why i was just thinking about making out with miguel and your glasses bump together and his break 😭😭 you’re all panicked and whatever and this man just does not give a fuck he’s tossing them aside while the arm is bent at a whole right angle… straight back to undressing you like the loser he is

he was probably like a 30 yr old virgin tbh he is king of dorks. wc: 763.

he has you sat on his desk, laptop and papers pushed to either side to accommodate you. he fumbles with your coat as he kisses you, but slips as he slides the sleeves down. you’re caged in as he’s forced forward. the tupperware box in your lap fall to the food and your heads collide with a glorious clack.

“miguel!” you try to slide off of the table to rescue the food. “i-” a kiss. “need-” another, “you need-” you put your palms out before your lips can touch again. “you need to eat lunch, no more working through your breaks.” you take a second to gulp in air as you keep looking down at your skirt. hod, kissing sure takes a lot out of a girl. miguel tilts your chin up, making you look at him.

“i-”

“OH MY GOODNESS! your glasses!” you pluck them from his face, examining the webbed cracks in the left lens and the hinge bent completely out of shape.

“cariño, you want me to eat, no?” he moves the glasses out of your grasp, discarding them off to the side of the desk. you nod. he kneels and you think he’s about to grab the lunchbox, but instead he hooks his hands behind each of your calves and says, “and you’re so nice for that, muñeca, to bring me a meal. but honestly there is only one thing i want.”

you nod again, “uh, huh,” stretching to get his glasses. your fingertips graze them, but miguel bumps the desk and moves them from reach

“baby,” he’s slipping off your panties. you’re still trying for the glasses, your torso turning so far it’s almost making a ‘c’. “baby,” he says again, softer. This time you feel his breath right against your clit. you sit up straight, your hands going straight to your boyfriend's hair. you look at him, smirking at you, hands at your hips, keeping your skirt bunched up

“miguel!” he nips at your thigh and you squeal. “what are you doing?” he lifts your legs over his shoulders.

“I’m taking my meal.”

“what ? no! we are at your work!! anyone could come in-”

“it’s lunch. everyone is out. we have twenty more minutes until people start filing back in.”

“that’s not a guaran-”

He nips at your other thigh.

“TEE!”

“remind me, where are we?”

“Your of-office,”

“and what’s special about my office?”

“It’s-it’s yours.”

another bite.

“um, it, it’s-”

“mi cosita, i’ve fucked you dumb without even touching you.” you whine, he’s being so mean, not touching you. where’d your sweet boyfriend go? you grind into the air looking for some friction. “oh, poor little thing, do you want me to remind you why my office is special?”

You nod, whining.

“i’m the boss, preciosa. I run this whole place. I get a nice office, all to myself, so i can draw the blinds down and fuck you stupid.”

“miguel,”

“yes, pretty girl?”

“touch me.” he puts his lips to your pretty pussy

“do you deserve it?”

“you, you, said, you need to eat.” what the fuck are you saying? You must sound so stupid.

a lick to your clit snaps you out of it. you look at your miguel. his eyes are closed, he looks like an angel— no, a demon. a sexy, tempting, demon who knows how to get exactly what he wants from you. you roll your hips onto his tongue, egging him on. you have to lay down– it’s all so intense you don’t trust yourself to sit up.

he moves his hands up from your thighs, up to your waist. he holds you down and rubs circles into your tummy. his mouth mouths effortlessly against you, and you squeeze his head between your thighs. he nuzzles into you, his slight stumble making you yelp. his nose rubs against your pretty little button as he moves. whenever he hums, it shoots sparks through your spine.

“miguel–”

“i got you baby,” he started somehow doing more, and you couldn’t hold off even if you wanted to. he’s licking, sucking, nipping. and you pull at his scalp, he loves it, it’s like saying god job, keep going. “you’re right there honey, i know you are, just let go baby.”

“mi-miguel i–” he sucks at your clit one more, and you’re seeing stars, back arched and knuckles turning white gripping onto miguel’s hair. he keeping going, working you through it, and easing you back down. once you’re back on earth, he stands, and helps you sit up.

“thank you, tesoro.” he kisses your temple.

[box-architecture]

I was rereading some of your stuff on Ao3, and went “huh. I know Sapnap kidnaps Dream out of a misguided idea of what’s happening at one point, but how does that all go? How did Dream react? What was Sapnap like?”

So now I’m asking you. At 12:20 am. I have class in 7.5 hours!

Okay so we're going to ignore how long this has been sitting in my drafts, half answered. Okay? Okay. Awesome

-

So at some point during the Discovery Of Many Kinks (because when you're having a weird poly relationship with your former Warden, you're going to try a bunch of different things. For Science) awesamdrunz attempt to do a sex tape. It gets left around and found within like three days. By Sapnap.

So of course because of burning curiosity he has to watch the mysterious tape to see whats on it.

Then the only reason he kept watching was shock and also trying to figure out who the hell the third person was, why they looked familiar but also what the hell happened to them. Fun ways to find out your former best friend wasn't lying when he said he was horrifically tortured by your kind-of finance: finding his sex tape.

And listen, originally it was a fun crack idea to have him see this relationship nonsense where awesamdrunz was basically fucking in sex dungeons (made by Sam) after kidnappings, and decided that this was actually a really good template to fix his own relationship. He ends up trapping Quackity and Karl in what might be a previously unused sex dungeon!

(Resounding success: both of his boyfriends did not murder each other (due to bars in between them) and even spoke to each other in order to escape. This is the most progress he's had in months.)

But then! Alternate Idea! Sapnap sees the sex tape and (honestly not unfairly given his prior knowledge) believes Punz & Sam are at minimum, pressuring Dream into this relationship, and somehow this is a worse crime than murder. No wonder Dream couldn't stay in the prison! (Which. Not inaccurate.) So Sapnap sets about needing to find and protect Dream.

Sapnap finds Dream, and tries to convince him that he'll protect him. Dream is confused about what Sapnap saw, and has a tough time refuting anything. He also does really miss his friend. So he,,, doesn't really fight when Sapnap takes him to a secondary location.

-

"The windows are nice. Not as defensible, but you'll know if the enemy approaches." Dream commented, staring at the cloud-covered sea.

Sapnap laughed nervously, pulling open kitchen cupboards. "Yeah, I don't know. There shouldn't be any way for someone to find us out here though; its not like I told anyone where we were going."

Dream pursed his lips, but said nothing, eyes following the way the waves crashed against the shitty boardwalk Sapnap cobbled together half asleep. He figured Dream wouldn't want to be cooped up in the cottage all the time, not after… everything, so they could go sit out on the beach and fish, maybe, or go look for seashells. They hadn't built a sandcastle since they were kids, either, so it would definitely be something fun to try. Just like old times.

The wheat was crumbling in his hands, so Sapnap quickly tossed it on the counter.

"Are you hungry?" He called out, trying for a bit more cheer. Dream's gaze pulled to his, and Sapnap began pulling more ingredients out on the granite. "I know I'm not usually the person who cooks, but I've been getting into it lately! I made rabbit stew for Karl the other day, and he didn't even make a face when he was chewing."

He didn't really think about the potatoes as he dumped them into the sink, but he did notice the way Dream flinched, drawing in on himself and towards the doorway.

"Dream?"

"Just…" Dream looked back out into the sea. His fingers, what remained of them, dug into the fabric of his pants. "Nothing with potatoes. Please."

Sapnap felt his anxiety roll like the tide.

"Yeah, dude, that's cool. Doesn't sound appealing right now anyway." He said uncertainly. Dream's shoulders relaxed marginally, but Sapnap still felt off. "Anything you're in the mood for, though? Beet soup? Cheese sandwich?"

"Whatever you cook is fine." Dream reassured him. A brittle, but teasing edge appeared in his smile. "Unless you somehow got worse at baking bread."

He had, but god forbid would he ever admit to that. He grinned, and sat up on the counter. "Oh, like you're so good at it. I tried your stupid 'Everything' bread, and it tasted like ash."

"You turned off the timer and it burned."

"Well maybe next time don't leave random timers on the oven and expect anyone to know what they're for."

"Maybe next time you should assume its there for a reason and not touch it." Dream said in exasperation. Sapnap stuck his tongue out, and Dream threw his hands up, exiting the kitchen. He was so dramatic, Sapnap thought fondly.

-

Its a lot of Sapnap attempting to reestablish their previous connection and realizing how much Dream has changed, and staring at the scars when he thinks Dream isn't looking. He gets Super Protective and promises he wont let anything else happen to him. Dream is instinctively upset (why now, why does it matter now, why do you care, I am Perfectly Fine) but its one of his People and he is So Tired.

Sapnap is sorta kinda keeping Dream with him. It's not exactly against Dream's will, but it's also like, if Dream could walk out the door and come back later without Sapnap freaking out he'd rather do that. But Sapnap is freaking out, and seems to believe that there is a credible threat against Dream if he leaves. Given Sapnap's previous relationship with Quackity, Dream is willing to believe he might know something and that alone makes him anxious enough that he wants to stay.

Sapnap gets more horrified the longer he's with Dream (Dream flinches under his touches, his fingers are gone, Dream makes a snide comment about Quackity when Sapnap asks about the scars,) and this only convinces him more that clearly he needs to be protecting Dream. Sapnap expresses a lot of fury towards Sam, and Dream doesn't have any good arguments against it. There's a lot of stuff that he just sorta, decided to ignore, and now that coming back up is messing with him.

They get into a brief yelling match when Dream gets tired of what he presumes is pity and fake behavior, and it ends with Sapnap holding Dream to keep him from leaving or collapsing.

(The irony(?) of Dream comforting Sapnap for most of his life only for them to switch places in this moment is not lost on him.)

He gets to snuggle with him under the covers and gets a kiss on the chin (Dream is half asleep, and thinking about how much he missed him.)

Meanwhile, Punz is going to Murder Sapnap.

Punz has no context for why Sapnap took Dream so he is assuming Sapnap is going to attempt to imprison Dream again (after failing to kill him) and while he is 100 percent confident in Dreams abilities he also is aware that Sapnap is one of Dreams People and therefore capable of hurting Dream emotionally. Hurting Dream is Not Allowed.

Sam is having a panic attack because Dream isn't within sight line and isn't with Punz and therefore everything is Wrong and Bad in his world.

When you finally get a confrontation between Sam and Sapnap (because at this point, they don't know that Sapnap knows about Punz, so Sam is going in first), Sapnap responds viciously, tearing into Sam both for the scars on Dream's body, but also stating he knew they were fucking, and there's no way that's even remotely acceptable given the position of power Sam had (he's not wrong. this is a true statement of fact for everything that occurred prior to the prison break. it's just that things got weird after that). Sam has no good rebuttal, and faced with violence from Sap, has to flee. He's left shaken from everything.

Dream: listen he may have enabled my torture and abuse, and starved and isolated me, and accepted sexual favors from me while being in a position of power over me But he's also a very sad wet cat of a man, and I'm a control freak

Punz tries to talk with Sapnap on slightly less,,, angry grounds? On his part. Knowing about the interaction with Sam, he feels better about the fact Dream is probably safe and Sapnap probably has good reason for what he's doing.

To be clear though, Sapnap is furious with Punz. Right out of the gate he reveals he knows Punz was involved. At first, he's assuming that Punz was paid off to help Sam, but Punz decides "fuck it" and reveals at least part of things. He explains he was working with Dream after the prison break, that he felt bad for betraying him, and that they had a relationship. Dream wanted to involve Sam post-prison, Punz was against it, but wanted Dream to be safe.

Sapnap: you're forcing him to do this! Punz: I DON'T EVEN WANT HIM TO BE DOING THIS Sam: >:(

Sapnap needs to take some time to processes that, but he then presses to clarify; Dream and Sam had a relationship while Dream was in prison? Yes.

Sam had a hand in the torture and Dream's condition? Also yes.

After he broke out, despite all of this, Dream still felt like he wanted to return to Sam? Yes.

Sapnap: And you LET him?!

Punz doesn't have a good answer for that, other than Dream is his own person, and Punz can't stop him from doing what he wants with his life. To which Sapnap responds, yes you can motherfucker

It's a very fundamentally rift in their two perspectives. Punz, particularly post-prison, couldn't morally justify restricting Dream or telling him how to life his life or cope. Sapnap, thinks that Dream was not in a position to make a choice like that.

Punz doesn't have a good answer for that, it's the exact thing he's been feeling guilty over. So he ends up leaving, Not for forever. Just to think.

Meanwhile, Dream overheard everything. He now understands what Sapnap is seeing as the "real issue" (or at least, the current threat at hand), and he knows that he's going to make his own choice here.

Dream: I understand that my decisions are problematic but have you ever considered that I've made my choices and will continue to make them, even if you don't agree Sapnap: NO

Dream tells Sapnap gently that he's leaving now. He wants to go back. Sapnap doesn't want him to, he makes fair arguments about how much Dream could be hurt here. Dream understands, but he's also an adult, and he's decided what he wants. He's forgiven his stupid creeper hybrid boyfriend. It might not make sense to, but he has. It's his choice in the end.

Sapnap doesn't like it, there's a long people where he's just holding Dream and in tears. He's apologized a lot. For leaving Dream there. He says it again for good measure. Dream gives him a soft kiss on the forehead and he doesn't say it's okay, but he does say that he loves him. That it will be okay.

Dream has to go now, but he promises to come back, they set a time and they get to just spend time together. Talking about things one at a time.

(Sapnap and Dream see each other a lot now, as he slowly enters Dream's life again. Occupying his space and checking up on him and fretting. They get more kisses, more cuddles in bed. Once a week they come back to their little cottage and grow something that isn't what they used to have, but its still good, and its full of love.)

Later, Dream will be reassuring Punz that he made the best choices he could make, sighing and pulling Sam out of his prison depression hole. Kidnapping once again proves to be a great way to solve problems.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 24 thoughts

here we are. the s3 finale. i am so excited!!! and after such a fantastic last episode, my expectations are high. also, having now seen 3 season finales, i have the sneaking suspicion that this one will also be a cliffhanger, which will get on my nerves a bit i’m sure as i get all my s3 stuff around before beginning s4, but again i extend my retroactive sympathies to the people who had to wait like a year to actually see what happened next back when it was airing. 

(author's note: since this one involved a lot of shape shifting, writing a play-by-play description of what was going on was quite tricky. just know i did my best and hopefully that is what matters <3)

this episode description makes it sounds like i’m gonna cry from some mulder family angst. i am preparing myself mentally. 

we shall begin.

we open at a food court sort of situation, which makes me once again mourn the fact that i missed the golden age of malls, as i would have devoured that. oh, it actually seems to just be a restaurant. well, my own wishful thinking, i suppose.

this man is very upset and making others uncomfortable with his loud yelling slash crying. so he pulls out a gun which makes people even more uncomfortable. he says the kids can leave but everyone else has to stay which seems like it will make things much worse for those kids?? but i digress.

a second man emerges from the back, asking the fellow with the gun to please not shoot. this second man is in a suit and tie, and has a very calming presence. to me, he shall be calming man. calming man talks him out of shooting, and i’m thinking yes!! what a save!!!

... until the gunman sees the police arrive, and then he DOES start shooting into the crowed. this is so sad to see happening. shooter has a bullet wound to the chest from the snipers outside sent to stop him, but calming man says he is not going to die, and heals him by placing his hand on him????

WOAH….. calming man….. you have powers…… get him in a hospital STAT, we need him to lay hands on a LOT of people... like a priest with a 100% success rate

mulder and scully are rolling up to the scene. scully is baffled because there is no one that needs medical attention, despite hearing that a bunch of people got shot!!

so she talks to one of the guys that was shot, and he only has a little hole in his shirt, which she simply lifts up and looks under. and i was laughing because she was in Doctor Mode but it is lowkey weird as hell to just lift some dude’s shirt up and analyze his tummy LMAO. oh she is so endearing to me. this man explains that even though he was shot, calming man touched him and said everything would be okay, and it was! that's suspicious. that's weird.

mulder is peeking his head into the car where the shooter is being held (typical mulder activities, peeking his head into places and whatnot) then he gets right in there with him. the shooter’s name is mr. muntz, and mulder wants to know what happened. mulder has some messy hair going on, but he is speaking very calmly and professionally... that oxford psych degree is showing!

mr. muntz says god spared his life, assuming that calming man must have been sent by god OR is god himself. which i suppose is a logical conclusion to draw.

somehow, calming man just DISAPPEARED from the scene. which is not what you want a guy to do in such a situation!!! unless, perhaps, he has fled to do some more miracle working, in which case i hope he teleports far and wide.

cutscene to rhode island. this lady is approaching a house, which is filled with plastic covering all of the furniture.

(author's note: i literally had no idea that "this lady" was mrs. mulder. and honestly given how much attention i pay to all the details- from the exact episode mulder mentioned jimi hendrix that one time to knowing scully did her residency in forensic medicine- i have no excuse for this. it is deeply humbling to realize the limits of my memory, which so often i think is close to fool-proof. i apologize to mrs. mulder but i, for some reason, thought she had brown hair. please accept my heartfelt apology, mrs. mulder. i have only seen you briefly before, which is a reason, but not an excuse for such a careless mistake)

she walks in, and sees a door is open to the outside. so she (author's note: mrs. mulder) follows along, and who does she see but CANCER MAN??? he remarks that everything changes but the sea. well the sea is constantly changing so take that, cancer man.

this woman (MRS. MULDER, god i'm cringing at my past self) wants to know what exactly he wants from her, and he says “we used to have so much to say to each other” ???? “SO MANY GOOD TIMES AT THE MULDERS’ SUMMER PLACE” HUH???

he makes a jab about how bill wasn’t as good at water skiing as he was, but that could be said about so many thing, couldn’t it? and WHERE DOES THIS DUDE GET OFF? 

(this is funny because cancer man lowkey sucks at his job and i won't let him forget that. like at the big UN council meeting everyone was pissed at him for losing the tape and trying to kill skinner and being generally just Fucking Bad at his work, so for him to say all this is quite comical)

the woman says she has repressed it all and i don’t blame her because i would also want to repress any moments with this man, but he says he came her to make her remember something. they’re fighting as a camera takes pictures. WHO IS TAKING PICTURES OF THIS?

okay, back to the virginia crime scene with our agents. calming man has given his name as “jeremiah smith”, but left a fake P.O. box and has no driver’s license. suspicious!!!!

mulder gets a call from skinner- one that “might cause him some alarm”. it’s his mother!!! she has been admitted to the hospital in rhode island, in serious condition!!! skinner stumbles on the pronunciation of the town she's in, but clearly it means something to mulder, because he knows where she is!! he says he is on his way

next thing we see is him bursting in into the room, with scully waiting behind him. something so lovely about scully coming along to be with him at such a terrible moment.

OMG IT’S HIS MOM….. why did i forget what his mom looked like?? am i actually the worst at this?? (<- the moment i Realized)

he grabs her hand and puts his hand on her forehead (i’m going to cry) and scully comes in and explains that she had a stroke. he notices that she is cold and puts another blanket over her (oh my gosh... such an attentive and caring son) and scully tries to reassure him not to think the worst, that people recover from these situations all of the time. i paused to write this down and he has this big sad eyes and i’m gonna CRY. he’s touching her hair and whispering “mom” and AUGHHHH. his only remaining family member...

apparently a 911 call came in… i guess that it was probably cancer man who called. and who probably did this somehow.

OH! she opens her eyes! he smiles at her and tells her everything is going to be okay. ohhh, sweet man...

scully realizes mrs. mulder wants something to write on, and busts out a pen and paper because she is always prepared!!!! and i love that about her!!!

so mrs. mulder writes on the paper “PALM”, which he looks at and repeats, but it’s not clear if he gets what that means or not. here i am thinking that it means some sort of treasure will be hidden beneath a palm tree

he’s watching her being taken away to another hospital as scully looks at some paperwork to figure out what exactly happened to her. and she uses her doctoral skills to tell him that they are optimistic on her recovery. it’s so sweet 😭😭😭 she does everything she can to ease his worries. i love her!!!!!!

but mulder thinks there is a correlation between what went down at the shooting in virginia and here- because she wrote the word “palm”, which is what calming man used to heal the victims of the gunman. and that seems like a stretch to me and to scully, but a grieving mind works in intricate ways, and we already know that mulder has the most intricate of minds, so maybe he's onto something.

he senses that it’s a bit of a leap, and she tries to very gently explain that it might not mean anything, that her brain has been radically changed. she says she is gonna drive him to the nearest motel (😭😭😭) and he says no, we’re going to DC and finding out who this calming man "jeremiah smith" is. omg buddy let her book you a motel and get some rest... but no, for he has entered his bloodhound mode, and there is no stopping him in such a situation

so now it’s 8:25 am the next day, and they are watching some tapes from the news footage while she sits on his desk. and sure enough, they find the guy on the newsreel- calming man jeremiah smith- and they even see that he vanished! it seems like someone else took his place, wearing the same clothes??? now how would that work….

mulder decides he must leave, and where to? “if i told you, you’d never let me go” <- okay well at least he’s sort of honest? scully reminds him he hasn’t slept in 24 hours, but he goes on anyway, telling her to give him a call if she finds anything on the tapes. a sigh from scully as she wonders what the hell he is up to.

now we’re at the social security administration, which is frankly pretty dystopian- so very aggressively white, with spaced out desks, giving extreme retro futurism in that special 90's kind of way. but here is the calming man at a desk, as tons of people in suits and with microphones come in! calming man jeremiah smith walks out the back door and is snagged… under the watchful eye of CANCER MAN??????

seriously, what does this dude even DO beyond be mysterious and nosy?!!!

so they put calming man jeremiah smith in a full body restraint and bring him into some sort of jail cell???? i just KNOW he was not read his rights, too...

mulder, meanwhile, has driven all the way BACK to rhode island, to the house covered in plastic. it is very quiet and dark. he makes his way outside, where we see someone watching him. it’s X!!!!!

X opens the door and tells mulder that cancer man was HERE WITH HER. IT WAS ON HIS ORDERS THE PHOTOS OF THEM FIGHTING WERE TAKEN!!! or maybe it was him hiding in the bushes snapping the pics?? that option is funnier to imagine, so i shall.

X is shocked that mulder didn’t know his mother and cancer man knew each other, but he very seriously says that he has no idea. and X clarifies that he didn’t hurt her, she collapsed AFTER he left- it was X that made the phone call to 911!

ah, that makes more sense than cancer man doing the calling, as i had suspected. although, clearly cancer man WANTS something from her, so maybe he would want to save her life. but then i had assumed he was the one who somehow made her have a stroke- but if he wanted something from her, nearly killing her would make that hard, right? unless he just comes close enough in killing her to scare her... hmm, i'm theorizing, and it feels like some sort of sick chess game.

OH! it seems cancer man wants something in this house. and mulder is surprised because on the day his parents divorced, she promised to never set foot here again. in the "SUMMER HOUSE"- yes, that was the wording he used. bro... how much money were they paying his dad to mess with aliens for them to live in martha’s vineyard AND have a summer house? 😭😭 that was blood money they were paying him fr and it must have been a hell of a paycheck. i have student loans, maybe i should get into the alien secrets business.

so whatever is here has to be important. but mulder tells X he has no idea what it is. xXseems to be hiding something, but maybe that is just his face.

back at the FBI, scully is heading out- or possibly heading back into work? as she does this, “jeremiah smith” arrives! she is very taken aback but jumps into work immediately. he says he is here to turn himself in, because it was claimed he fled a crime scene.

SO WAS THAT NOT HIM IN THE FULL BODY RESTRAINT?? or are we dealing with teleportation here? i mean we have healing already, teleportation isn’t much of a jump i suppose. 

(i was so damn confused lol)

now we are with calming man jeremiah smith in skinner’s office, where he claims that everything seemed like a dream from the moment he told the man to put his gun down forward. he claims he doesn’t remember anything, not even giving a false address. he only remembers showing up for work the next day. so... was his body like possessed or something?

he’s like “what did i do wrong :(“ and scully says he didn’t do anything wrong!!!!! skinner says that he can go, but to let them know if he leaves town. she shrugs her shoulders at skinner, not knowing what happened. scully is so kind...

back to rhode island, where mulder has a flashlight. the house is covered with children’s artwork and whimsical chickens. he’s looking through all of the stuff for anything of interest. it’s a fascinating walk through of how they must have lived, with her sewing kits tucked in drawers and toys in boxes. something about seeing their childhood makes my heart want to melt. poor kids, they had no idea what was to come...

he’s getting angry at not finding anything of use, tossing things around, before sitting on the now non-plastic covered couch, when he pulls her note out- and realizes that “palm” is an anagram for “lamp”! is this a clue??? must we inspect the lamps??? of which there are many???

yes, we must. he’s throwing this first one into the wall like link when he sees a pot that might have a rupee in it. but it doesn’t seem to have anything useful in the first one, so it becomes a lamp tossing session. and in the second one, he finds a metal tube thing!!! 

when he presses the side of the metal tube thing, a giant needle emerges!! is this one of those needles they used in s2 to vanquish the nearly indestructible aliens?? are there more in any other lamps??

now cancer man is back in the jail cell with the dude he took hostage that i thought was calming man jeremiah smith. well, whoever it is, he has jeremiah smith’s face. cancer man very dramatically sits in front of him and lights up. jeremiah says he isn’t ashamed of his actions, but cancer man says he isn’t “allowed to put your indulgences ahead of the greater purpose”. OH! so this must be a real life alien. that takes people’s shapes? i suppose?

YES! like that hit man did in the s2 arc that wound up with mulder nearly dead after the battle of that strange submarine!! whose blood induced the virus that led him to be soaked in an ice bath! i’m recalling!!

so, calming man jeremiah smith says he no longer believes in the "greater purpose", to which cancer man replies “then your fate is just”.

now hold on. what are you going to do to this man? there might be some intergalactic diplomatic repercussions for acting unwisely here, bucko.

they’re having a poetry off as they talk about duty and the terror of jeremiah smith giving the people hope. cancer man says men can never be free because they are “weak, corrupt, worthless, and restless”, some of my favorite adjectives . so he sees himself as this authority figure adjacent to god in this world in which man no longer believes.

well he's wrong on many accounts for 1. he is not god, just a guy who lowkey sucks at his alien job, and 2. scully is very much a believer of god and science, so take your stupid dichotomies and ego and smoke on THAT, cancer man

oh, but the tables are turning. “how many must die at your hand to preserve your stake in the project?” ooooh read him, calming man jeremiah smith!!! get him for me and again for missy.

cancer man seems deeply unsettled and tries to get out because calming man jeremiah smith is no longer calming man… HE HAS A NEW FACE?? IS THAT DEEP THROAT! he seems deeply scared… was cancer man scared of deep throat??? what was their power dynamic?!? oh, the things we will likely never know...

i have missed seeing deep throat around. but cancer man basically says that this alien’s execution date is coming. damn. they kill you for saving others. we really live in a society...

back to mulder, who is barging into skinner’s office. he tells his secretary to hold his calls, and it is appearing evident that he has not slept in a long time. he walks right into a meeting between skinner and scully, and says he wants his name and everything about "him"! which "him", you ask? you know the one!

“i want the smoking man smoked out; i want him exposed to be the murdering son of a bitch that he is” he says, and YAAAAS i have been wanting to say these lines for 3 seasons now!!!

skinner is not pleased with this, and reveals that he doesn’t even KNOW his name, nor how he can find it, and they are yelllling. mulder says to scully that cancer man is trying to kill calming man jeremiah smith, but she says that he had JUST been there, and he works for the social security administration, which sets mulder off on another quest. in which she joins!!

(skinner says something really interesting here- that there might have been a time when he could have been able to find out cancer man's identity, but that time has since passed. very interesting, i'd love to know what that means...)

off to the faraway and magical land of the social security administration, where mulder apprehends jeremiah smith. he looks to scully asking what is going on, and she also has no answers. 

so they get to the FBI and he starts to bolt!!! he falls down and comes up… with a new face?!! and then he disappears into the crowd!!! 

SO WHAT IS GOING ON??? are there TWO ALIENS?? are they TELEPORTING?? are they shapeshifting?? HUH??

cancer man goes back to the individual i shall now refer to as the “jail cell alien” because he no longer bears the face of calming man. damn, this is really confusing to write out, and very much tied to visual media as a storytelling vessel. i hope that you are familiar with what i’m talking about so you have any idea what i’m even saying, because i realize it sounds deeply incomprehensible.

alien asks why cancer man is so afraid of him, and claims that he knows everything about him. OH! “you think you’re god- you’re a drone, a cataloguer, chattel”, says cancer man, to which he is met with the reply “what you’re afraid of is they’ll believe i am god”

HEY WHAT! so what exactly is this dude’s job description?? like, either of them.

they’re talking about god and belief and fear and rule- “they don’t believe in Him, but they still fear Him” <- ooooh banger line on part of the cancer man.

(it seems that there is probably some very intentional real-world commentary on the illusion of freedom under democracy, the nature of the surveillance state, and how people are satiated under capitalism with all this talk to appeasement and there not being a god, but i’m not trying to crack that right now. i’m trying to figure out what this alien dude does beyond heal people and be cryptic. he says that humans have love, which makes them “better than us- better than you” SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? can he feel no love?)

they’re referring to some sort of process, and how cancer man wants to be involved when it begins, which i’m guessing is referring to some sort of alien-human joint conquest or hybridization or something?

GASP! alien changes his face again and proclaims that cancer man is… DYING OF LUNG CANCER!

fork spotted in kitchen. however, cancer man is sincerely gagged and doesn’t believe it. the absolute buffoonery going on…

now the alien from before that had escaped from the clutches of our agents has shape shifter again?? into the hit man we saw in s2! with the special alien killing needle!

so my memory is foggy… these aliens that the hit men are hunting are dissenters from the overall alien regime, right? they’re not different species of alien entirely? 

but then what/who are the little grey ones…. are we witnessing intergalactic warfare here…?

(i gotta be so honest, i come here for the lingering tension between mulder and scully, so i’m a little fuzzy on how the actual alien stuff works)

anyway, the cronies of cancer man are bringing the hit man and his lethal needle into the cell where they’re holding the alien formerly known as calming man jeremiah smith, but… he isn’t in there!!!!! where did he go!!?!

so we have two aliens, both shapeshifters, taking the same face at times, one trying to kill the other. also cancer man is here and mulder’s mom is in the hospital, and for some reason she had one of those needles in her house. okay, i’ve got it.

back to the hospital- his mom isn’t getting better, and he is struggling to hear that, pulling a chair next to her while his eyes fill with tears. he’s crying as he holds her hand to his cheek. poor mulder :( losing all of his family :( it’s so sad honestly to see him cry :(

he leaves the room, attempts to compose himself, and sees cancer man in the hall!!!! uh oh! so mulder GRABS him, throws him against the wall, and pulls out his gun, saying “you gonna smoke that, or you want to smoke on this?” <- WHEW!!!!!!! he was not playing around before but now he is a NEW level of locked in… but careful… if you kill him, what he knows goes with him….

he even offers to give him brain damage but not kill him, so he can suffer like his mother does (DAMN!), which prompts the reveal that cancer man has known his mother since before he was born. he thinks about this and decides that he does NOT give a fuck.

he claims that SHE contacted HIM, (which isn’t what happened because we SAW what happened at the start of the episode?? he wanted her to remember something??) and also that he has possible information on his sister’s location. how many people are going to use this line on our guy...?

mulder puts the gun down as a nurse walks in, pivoting to asking where his sister is- but the man who might have that information has disappeared, according to cancer man. so he must be referring to the alien formerly known as calming man jeremiah smith.

mulder keeps saying that he has what he wants, presumably referring to the lethal needles, but cancer man denies wanting anything except to see how his mother is doing. he furiously puts his gun away. 

back to scully cam!!! it’s late at night, but she is still at work, and she has her glasses on because she’s on the computer <3 she seems… puzzled. for the social security administration has records on SIX different jeremiah smiths, all from different locations, but with the SAME FACE!!! this is weird enough to prompt a call to mulder, who has no service, but is very angry in an empty parking lot. 

X emerges into the parking lot- he is always emerging from places- and asks if he has “it”. he demands mulder give it to him, but he refuses. 

mulder (correctly) points out that it is a weapon used to pierce the back of an alien's neck, which is the only way we can kill “them”. and X says it’s value will soar when the truth is revealed, so i’m wondering if we can get a rough time frame on when that will be so i can get my things in order before then. X says they will kill him for it, even if it risks making him a martyr and his research coming to light. oh, they must want it really bad... maybe it's a special kind of needle you just can't get on earth.

mulder says to X, so you’re talking about colonization, and you have a date, don’t you? but he refuses to give the weapon over. prompting a battle! they seem pretty evenly matched, and they both pull their guns out. 

“if you shoot me, you’ll never find it” “i ought to shoot you anyway, after everything i’ve given you” says X, and WELL! X, you didn’t really do all that distribution of clues to mulder out of the goodness of your heart, did you… you’re leading him on a little quest on cancer man’s order’s, aren’t you???? I THINK YOU ARE!! but i don’t KNOW, because why then would he SNITCH on cancer man with those photos??!!!!

(not super clear on why exactly mulder wants to keep this thing other than keeping it out of the hands of evil, but maybe that is enough of a reason for him)

so they both have guns pointed at each other, and they’re limping away, and X announces that mulder is a dead man one way or the other. ????!!!!! i do not want him to be a dead man...

scully comes home to her place at 1 am… but someone is at the door. someone claiming to be jeremiah smith!!!! chat... do we believe it? and how did he even find where she lives...

he asks to be let in… and she is gonna let him in…? with only 3 minutes left in the episode….?! seems a risky move!

he says he has information on her partner and his sister. and scully says, well why didn’t you bring that up before!!! a very valid question! but get this- it's because he’s never SPOKEN to her before- that other man was an imposter, sent there to kill him!!!

OOOOH okay. so now the dual shape shifting aliens thing makes sense. one sent to hunt the other for breaking the rules... got it.

her phone is ringing as this goes down. it’s mulder, saying that “they” are looking for jeremiah smith, and to meet up off the I-95. so it’s very dark and creepy as they go to the rendez vous point.

mulder makes scully get behind him, getting between her and the alien formerly known as jeremiah smith (🩷) as he pulls out the alien killing needle. and this guy claims to be the OG calming man that healed those people, but that’s not really enough evidence for a guy like mulder. despite mulder's suspicious, the alien keeps saying he can explain everything. but first, mulder orders that he must come to see his mother.

OMG! so he wants to use the alien's powers to heal his mother! do you think it could work? i mean, a stroke and a bullet are different kinds of hurt... but maybe he could pull it off?

OH NO!!! who rolls up to this dark and creepy scene, but the hit man!!! a loud crescendo of music is playing and we get a TO BE CONTINUED

DAMN YOU, CHRIS CARTER!

i mean, i knew a cliffhanger ending was coming, but STILL.

okay, so what am i thinking about this episode… i am thinking that i don’t really know what is going on or where the loyalties lie. but it seems that alien colonization is eminent? and where does X fall on all of this? i assume he wanted the needle killer tool so HE could kill the REAL alien formerly known as calming man jeremiah smith, like cancer man wanted, for rebelling against their alien treaty and healing someone. but if that is what he wanted it for, and he is aligned with cancer man, why did he go behind his back to do the snooping on him with mulder’s mom?? was he trying to get mulder as an ally to do cancer man’s bidding through sneaky tricks??? or was he going to keep the needle out of cancer man's hands, and felt he could do it better than mulder could, so that by asking him to give up the needle, he would be saving mulder's life and risking his own? does he actually give a damn about mulder? also, how many different kinds of aliens are there??? and are they all lying about samantha?

so huh. umm. that was a lot of questions and not a lot of answers.

as interesting as this episode was plot-wise, and as much as i love angst, and how it pains me to see mulder mourn the potential loss of his mother, something in this episode just didn’t quite compel me. and then i realized: not enough scully. a criminal mistake, imo. takes what could be an amazing episode into an inherently mediocre one. 

but, what we did see of her was her kindness, using her doctorly knowledge to try and lift mulder’s spirits, risking a lot of danger to try and get the answers for him, even if it means getting involved with alien bullshit. maybe she thinks it’ll bring her answers about her sister and her own abduction… yes, that has to be it. still, a grave sin to omit her. it just feels fundamentally Off.

so, that was the end of s3! well, as i have done twice before now, i’ll make my season wrap up posts before i get onto s4- even if it does end with a cliffhanger that is honestly SO rude. i’ll have to go over all my notes again to find the best moments and compile them, which is always a task (even if it is a major treat). and i have a feeling there will be a LOT of favorite moments this time around. plus i'll update the masterpost.

thank you to everyone who read this far, and reads this blog at all. i can't believe i am on season 4! it really makes my day to see people's reactions to the episode, learn fun facts, and experience the community in this fandom that i am otherwise denied by my persistence in avoiding spoilers. please feel free to go back and interact with old posts, too- it makes me so happy when i get notifications from that.

until next time, you agents in a dangerous back alley with some skirmishing aliens!

[abarbaricyalp]

Written for the @sambuckylibrary anniversary event! Rated G, no CWs.

"You know, he's not half so scary in person," Carlos said from Sam's far side.

Sam finished crushing trash further into a garbage bag before he followed Carlos' gaze across the party to the table where Bucky was regaling many, many children with an, undoubtedly, dramatic story. There were enough swooping hand gestures and mimed explosions at any rate.

"Yeah, the TV adds seven layers of hostility," he joked. "He's actually just a good actor."

Carlos snorted and rolled his eyes at Sam's ribbing. "You always were the first one to offer a second chance to anyone and anything. Do you remember when you--"

"When that stray bit me three separate times and I still cried when animal control caught it and took it away?" Sam finished for him. The story had followed him along since he was thirteen. If someone wanted to boil Sam Wilson down to his essence, that was the story they told. "To be fair, someone told me while I was in the hospital getting stitches for the last bite."

"You spent weeks afterwards tryin' to borrow anyone's home phone to call and ask about it 'cause your mama wouldn't let you use y'all's phone," he continued.

"He wasn't a bad dog. Just scared," Sam chuckled softly. He moved his fingers over the textured edge of a paper plate. "It wasn't his fault."

Carlos just smiled at him like he and Sam were on the same page, which was never true. Carlos was usually seven steps ahead of Sam. It's probably what had made him and Paul Wilson such good friends, even though they were otherwise very different men. He clapped a hand on Sam's shoulder and then moseyed away.

Sam looked over at Bucky, still in the midst of his story, and wondered when the last time was that he'd had teeth bared at him as he offered out a helping hand. And, honestly, cold shoulders and sarcasm aside, he couldn't remember. DC all those years (and not years) ago, probably. Even watching the Winter Soldier work again a few weeks ago hadn't been enough to remind Sam that Bucky could be that kind of dangerous. Especially not when it only took a touch and a look from Sam for him to draw back out of the character again. Sam was in no danger of being bit. No good person around was. Definitely more like the kind of dog that wanted to be a lap dog despite being a hundred pounds of muscle.

Sam made his way over to the table, just to make sure he didn't need to offer Bucky an escape. From the angle he was coming at, and the way Bucky's head was on a constant swivel to keep up with all of the laughing and teasing and questions around him, Sam got a chance to just look at him. The sun was bright on his face, making his eyes look like they were lit up and painting his hair more of an auburn than Sam had ever seen it. There were curls forming close to his head, brought out by the humid salt air and Sam had never seen that either. It kind of knocked the breath out of his chest.

Finally, he stepped closer, about to interrupt whatever exaggerated story Bucky was telling, but the man's words stalled him before he could.

"And Sam came out nowhere!" Bucky exclaimed, miming a sudden flight dive with his hand. "He took out a whole bunch of bad guys without breaking a sweat. Steve told me it was the coolest thing he's ever seen."

"Steve Rogers thinks Uncle Sam is cool?" Cass asked, all wide eyed. Sam would be offended, but it was less that Cass was in disbelief and more like he wanted to hear Bucky say it again.

"Steve thinks Sam is the coolest!" Bucky assured. "That's why Sam's Captain America and not someone else."

Sam raised an eyebrow that no one was going to see, but he supposed that the simple version was best while Bucky recounted glory days with a bunch of kids. Bucky reached out to catch a girl by the back of the shirt as she worked on climbing to the other side of the table so she could stand on the bench. She struck a dramatic pose and stared off in the distance for a moment.

"I wanna have wings. How do I get wings?" she asked.

"Well first, you have to eat all your vegetables. And you have to make good grades," Bucky explained, tugging her down to sit. "But you also have to be kind and not selfish, right? Gotta behave like Sam does."

"Even to my brother?" she asked with a frown.

"Even to your brother," Bucky agreed with a solemn nod.

When Sam couldn't stand it anymore, he came over to put a hand on Bucky's shoulder and tug him back from the table. "Hey, mythmaker, you're gonna have to help clean at some point. Come on, let's go," he encouraged, pulled Bucky's shoulder until Bucky dramatically flailed backwards.

"I'm not a mythmaker," he argued as he carefully extricated himself from the table. "I don't exaggerate."

"I do not believe you," Sam promised lightly.

Bucky clicked his tongue and then waved at the kids around the table who had quite eagerly taken his spot, clambering over each other even as Sam and Bucky walked away.

"You can never let me have the spotlight," Bucky sighed. When Sam glanced over at him, Bucky already had his eyes on Sam and he was grinning easily.

"I'm really jealous, what can I say?" he jokingly admitted. They walked for another moment, past all the trash they really should be taking care of, before Sam jostled his elbow against Bucky's side. "It's not like they were listening to stories about you anyway," he teased gently.

"Well, just the last one. Or the last two, depending on when you showed up," Bucky defended. It was unconvincing, especially when he snickered to himself anyway. "Your stories are more family friendly."

"You were sounding pretty bragadocious of those stories."

"Oooh, there's a vocabulary word," Bucky laughed. He nudged Sam towards an empty pier and sat down so he could dangle his legs over the edge of it. Sam followed suit and watched the water lap at the old wood. Algae and barnacles clung to the supports and drifted in the repetitive current.

"I'm proud of you," Bucky eventually said, barely audible over the water. The noises of the party were far enough away that Sam could almost believe he was underwater, with the way his head went light with the compliment.

"Thanks, man," he said back just as softly. "You're not doing too bad for yourself either."

Bucky knocked his shoulder into Sam's and then stayed leaning against him as he stared out over the water. Sam let his own head come to rest on Bucky's, tucking his cheek against Bucky's sun warmed hair. The birds called overhead, waiting for their chance to swoop in on discarded food and open trash. Music started up from somewhere near the heart of the party. The water continued to gently keep time with the wind and the current. And Bucky was warm and solid and constant beside him.

Sam was pretty damn proud too.

[vega-creates-things]

Muse (Part 3)

ROTTMNT Leo x GN/Rabbit Yokai!Reader

Warnings: Fluff, Embarrassment, Aged-up Turtles

Synopsis: You've been visiting Run Of The Mill Pizza maybe a little too often just to see the blue clad turtle of your affections and draw him. You're pretty sure he hasn't noticed you at all, bad news for you, he has and he is far too curious about why you watch him.

A/N: I'm not sure how many parts of this I'm going to do, but let's enjoy this story while its still going on, yeah? Honestly I'm just trying not to jump ship to a different Leo x reader story that I'm DESPERATE to write... but I digress!! This is a repost from my old side blog since I wanted to make a main blog for this stuff. Let's get this show on the road.

♡♡♡

The days had gone by pretty quickly, and at this point you had begun wondering if maybe, just maybe you should cave and show Leo your sketchbook, maybe it would be fine… you were a little surprised by his dedication to figuring it out… maybe it would be fine. Okay- yeah. You would show him, just to reward his dedication. The moment you had come to the decision a worry had started to bloom forth in your brain. What if he stopped talking with you entirely after he got what he wanted? As much as you liked to think the two of you had become much closer over the course of four weeks, what if he didn’t actually feel the same way…? What if his kindness was solely to butter you up?

No! No. You were assuming things, letting your fears and anxieties talk you out of your decision. Besides, if all he wanted was to see the sketchbook and he left afterwards, then you didn’t need him in your life… but it would hurt- If it is not meant to be it is not meant to be. It wasn't like you were dating anyway.

You took a few calming breaths, walking along the pathway through the group of street vendors and the crowds that surrounded them. You just needed to get to the one that sold what you were looking for, hand made crystal necklaces. They were nothing special of course, but you had always loved the way they looked and had finally saved up enough for one at your part time job.

When the stall finally came into view you relaxed, squeezing through the last bunch of people with a quiet apology before making your way up to the doberman yokai behind the stall who was currently in the midst of writing in a small black book. You smiled a bit. “Hey, Alden.” You greeted, watching the way he instantly closed his book and folded his hands neatly on his lap, looking up at you with intrigue.

‘Y/n! It’s quite good to see you again,” he insisted, smiling ever so slightly before he began to speak again, “where have you been? I was beginning to miss our daily talks.” He leans forward, book set aside as he rested his elbows on the table, resting his chin on his hands while his docked ears pointed eagerly in your direction. From the sound  of it, business hadn’t been great lately.

You smiled in response, chuckling and fidgeting with the strap of your leather satchel. “Well… I’ve been busy, making a new friend-“

“Ah, replacing me.” He shook his head, chuckling to show he was only teasing, his hand over his heart in mock offence.

Instantly rolling your eyes, a smile that reaches your eyes spreads across your face and you relax at how easy and comfortable this is. After all, Alden had been your friend for years, practically since you were both kids. “Oh hush, no one could replace you, drama king.” You hum, eyes flitting over his wares and you swear you see the curiosity bubbling in his chocolate coloured eyes. “So, I was hoping to get a necklace with rose quartz?” You offer, your gaze having lingered on the crystal for a little longer than you’d realized. You hand him the money for it, having become acutely aware of his prices from spending time here constantly.

Alden pauses at that, any teasing comment he was going to say being cut off by a bewildered expression as he tucks the money away. Nevertheless, he lets you pick one of the rose quartz crystals he has on display and then carefully winds some wire around it to make a little pattern and also hold it securely in place before putting it on a black wax cord that has simple metal clasps. “You know…” he begins, already standing to help put the loose choker necklace on you. It still takes you by surprise at how much taller than you he is. “Rose quartz is one of the most sought after love stones.” He murmurs, carefully hooking the necklace on you and adjusting it to sit properly.  “It’s meant to build trust, tolerance, and true unconditional love… So who is it then?” He muses, moving to lean against the side of his stall, head tilted.

You feel your face heat up the moment he explains the gem you had chosen. It wasn’t like it was your intent to pick a love stone, you just thought that one was pretty, you had felt drawn to it! “Oh- I- um…” You feel your phone buzz and swallow thickly, having a pretty certain idea of just who that might be, eyes darting down to the pocket of your denim jacket before meeting Alden’s unintentionally intense gaze. “Just… some guy I met… He’s- he’s really sweet… and funny-“

He holds up his two toned black and tan hands in a placating gesture and grins at you for a second, before moving back behind his stall and digging through his collection of rings, murmuring to himself. Soon enough he comes back around the stall and takes one of your hands, sliding the silver ring into your hand. “Green aventurine. For luck- in love and life in general.” He lightly taps the perfectly glossy and rounded gem in the centre of the intricately designed olive branch shaped band.

“How much is-“

“Free. You’re my best friend, dumdum. I’m giving you this for free.” He hums, huffing in surprise when you quickly hug him tight around his torso, burying your face in the soft fabric of his v-neck black sweatshirt. Alden can’t help but smile, holding you close, one of his hands resting on the back of your head, softly rubbing his thumb between your ears, earning a soft purr from you.

You pull away after a moment and look up at him fondly, already easing the beautiful ring onto your your thumb. “You’re the best, you know that, right?” You inquire, pausing when your phone buzzes again. You don’t want to be rude though, so you don’t answer it just yet. 

Waving you off dismissively, Alden just offers you a simple smile, gaze gentle as he pats you on the shoulder and then moves to sit in his chair once more, putting his feet up on the small milk crate you know is behind there so he can sit bunched up. “I think someone is trying to get your attention.” He hums, flicking one of his ears in the direction of something behind you, a bemused smirk finding its way to his face showing that he has a feeling on who it is.

You glance in the direction he had gestured in and pause at the sight of Leo weaving through the crowd and attempting to get your attention by furiously waving his hands. Growing slightly flustered before glancing back to Alden, you move to speak, but soon a new customer grabs his attention and you’re left with the knowledge that your best friend is 100% able to tease you about your crush.

Shaking your thoughts aside, you turn smoothly and wander over to one of the silk scarf stands where Leo is squirming through the crowd. You begin wondering why he didn’t just portal over to you, fully aware of his special skill since he had used it countless times to startle the hell out of you and try and get the drop on you. Shaking your head, you move to carefully guide him through an opening you had spotted. “Now why would a turtle with portalling abilities not use said skill to get out of that mess? You inquire, tone lighthearted and teasing.

Rolling his eyes, Leo offers you a cheeky smile, nudging you playfully. “I wanted to go it the old fashioned way.” He shrugs. You can’t help but notice the way he is glancing behind you in the direction of Alden’s stand. Before you can comment on that, he quickly brings it up for you, “so who was that? Your boyfriend?” He casually asks, starting to walk with you to look at some of the other stalls clearly not as familiar with the wares as you are.

“Oh, he’s just an old friend of mine. We’ve known each other since we were really little. More like a brother, really.” You offer, not at all missing how he seems to relax ever so slightly at that… but, that can’t be right. No. You imagined that. Why would he be tense about the possibility of you having a boyfriend? Because he wasn’t, obviously.

Leo nods to himself. “Cool, cool, cool-“ he began, pausing after a minute or so and then gesturing at your new necklace. “That’s new- pretty. It matches your nose!” He muses, referring to the pink splotch on your otherwise dark brown nose- one of the small things that normally made you a little self conscious about your looks. He seemed quite pleased with that realization, glancing into one of the stalls with intrigue.

You sit there for a moment, dumbfounded and gently kicking a rock off of the dirt path as he looks at the sweets, but you quickly shake yourself out of the flustered state you had begun to enter, carefully fiddling with one of your ears by softly brushing your hands over it. “Oh-! Um… thank you.” You murmur, noting the amused smile he offers at how flustered you got. “I recommend the  meringues.” You offer quietly. “The ones Donna make taste exactly like roasted marshmallows.” 

The idea of that alone seems enough for him and he quickly purchases two of them, not missing how the woman behind the stand seems to look between you both with intrigue, thought the familiarity towards you is what intrigues him most. As you’re walking away, he takes one of the pale gold sweets out of the small parchment bag and gestures the other one to you. “I got you one.” He offers lightheartedly. “Mm, also! Do you know everyone who works here or something?” He inquired, already taking a careful bite out of his meringue after he had assured himself that you’d taken yours.

Shrugging and guiding him over to a bench, you easily sit down, looking over the sweet with a bit of a far away stare. “Well, yeah. I do know everyone that works here. I used to spend all my time in this place, people watching.” You admit, noting how Leo has already finished his dessert while you hadn’t even started yet, quickly making work of it since it was only small anyway.

The slider quirks a brow, nodding to himself and sitting in deep thought, leaning himself against the back of the bench and even resting his arms on it in a very open gesture that has your face heating slightly, after all, in the movies you’d seen that was normally always a way the male love interest would wrap his arm around his love interest. “Huh. So why did you stop coming here as often?” Leo asks, glancing at you curiously.

You shrug again, not exactly wanting to admit to him that he was the reason. “I got curious about Run Of The Mill and discovered I really like their pizza.” And by pizza, you totally meant Leo. Sorry Hueso.

He nods in understanding, drumming his fingers on the backing part of the bench behind you for a moment before he notices you fidgeting with your bag a bit. “You okay, Y/n?” He inquired, soft concern lacing his usually confident voice.

You swallow thickly, not looking at him as you remove /the/ book from your bag and hold it out to him. It’s only when it has been a few minutes of just holding it there that you turn to look up at him, almost confused by his own confusion. “You can look in it-“ you urge quietly, nearly entirely loosing your nerve, especially when his gaze leaves the book and he instead completely locks eyes with you and shakes his head.

“Nah. I don’t think it’s time.”

“What…?”

Leo smiles slightly, standing up and widely stretching. “You’re giving in because of how much I bug you about it- probably telling yourself you’re giving me it to see as reward for how dedicated I am to my cause- or something like that.” He chuckles at that, not looking back at you just yet, not until he starts speaking again. “I want you to give me the book to look through when you actually feel comfortable doing it. I don’t want you to force yourself just to make me happy.” There’s a sincerity to his words that has your heart lodging itself in your throat and thrumming so loudly you can hardly hear it as he offers you a simple, “bye, little rabbit.” With a flashy wink and smile before swiping his sword through the air and disappearing into the bright blue portal before you can say anything.

Your hand that was holding the book goes slack and the object falls to the ground with a soft thud as you simply stare at where the portal was. That was new. You had thought Leo would jump at the chance to finally sate his curiosity, but apparently you had misjudged him.. expected the wrong outcome. Part of you wondered why he had denied himself, but you do know that you appreciate how he wants you to give him the right when you’re actually ready and not just “giving in” like he had said.

Boy… you were down bad.

—

First , Prev , Next

[the-next-miss-american-trash]

Every now and then I like to read how people are getting ready for Artfight, and a hot topic is that people start drawing early every year, and it only increases. Here's the real reason Artfight discourages starting early, and why they're not enforcing it.

Artfight is a simple Art game. You versus another person draw art for each other. That's the art trading part. Those art pieces then have point values. That's the game part. Things after that point, make the game complex: how to determine the value of art, how to keep score, how to make things fair, etc.

The game part of Artfight includes a time restraint. There's only one (1) month to get as many points possible for your team. To make things fair, it is recommended to only start drawing during that month. Let's look at an improbable example as to why:

Team A make up a majority of people who start only after Day 1 begins. It takes them a few hours, up to a few days depending on the intricacies of their piece, to make an attack and have it scored. Boom! One day in and they start racking up 100 points that day!

Team B makes up a majority of people who all started early. They spend weeks making the nicest art possible because they don't feel any pressure. When Day 1 rolls around, they all immediately upload their art and BAM! Instant 100 points! They now have an immense lead as they get started drawing for other people, who are now behind in points.

To make the game fair, it's recommended to not draw early. So why isn't it a rule?! Well, quite obviously, no one can prove you started early or not 😋. Plus, it would be incredibly insensitive to accuse someone that there's no way they drew a full body fully shaded scene in so little time, when quite a lot of artists are just that fast. Plus the excitement of drawing can contribute to speed, yadda yadda yadda. And it would look even worse to have admins policing a bunch of artists, because then it makes the whole event too serious and unfun, and we lose the spirit of art trading as things get major competitive. And quite honestly, if we start policing each other, no one likes a party pooper. No one will draw for you.

I'm not an early starter, and honestly I won't ever be. I am also a competitive player. I'm quick enough of an artist, with some practice, to be able to draw something worth a good chunk of points. My art motivation is contained within the month, so personally I ruin the consistency for myself if I start sketching ideas beforehand. I do however save and follow a bunch of people beforehand so I can get into the excitement of drawing and don't feel lost on who to attack first. Other people starting early gets me a little sad, but I won't go out of my way to stop people when most have genuine reasons too, like overwhelming fatigue and such. No two artists are alike. And if someone were to accuse me of being an early starter, and start going into a tirade that it's not "morally right" and "you're ruining the game", you're getting blocked because who has time for people that annoying. Art how you want, and game how you want, but don't go forcing your ideas onto others.

[tiktokitssinoclock]

Weight- Marc Spector

... ʰᵉʸ ᵉᵛᵉʳʸᵒⁿᵉ.

No I'm not dead, and no I really wasn't that busy until the semester started up. I fell off the writing wagon a few months ago and still kind of feel that way. Just recently I've been working on some stuff again so I hope I'll get back into the flow of things soon, but I don't want to risk burn out. I won't be posting as often as I used to, but I'll still post sporadically here and there. Hopefully that changes as inspiration comes back to me! :)

SFW// Minors and ageless blogs, DNI // You will be blocked

Summary:

You have a really important day tomorrow, but can't get to sleep for the life of you. Fortunately, Marc has the perfect suggestion.

Word Count:

1.5K

Warnings/Triggers:

None

One of the things you loved about the boys' place was the sounds of the traffic around the building. The soft 'whoosh' of cars as they passed by, the muted squeaks of tires cruising along on wet pavement when it rained, the surprisingly welcome harmony of whiny breaks and car horns when a light turned red. Steven had his complaints about it, and while you could sympathize with him, you yourself never truly minded. It worked almost like a noise machine in the flat, the London hubbub providing a constant hum in the background.

Tonight, however, as you found yourself laying quite awake, you were starting to better understand what he meant. Every time you closed your eyes, trying in vain to get some sleep, the smallest noises from the street were trying their damnedest to get you to open them again.

The hardly audible road rage between two people might as well have been an argument just outside in the hallway. The chirp of a parked car getting locked seemed to echo throughout the room. Hell, even the slamming of a car door was almost enough to make your ears pop.

You let out a quiet sigh as you continued to catch bits and pieces of the ongoing squabble, pinching your eyes shut before opening them once more in defeat. Of all the nights for the sounds of distant traffic to fail you...

Sweat was beading on your brow but you opted to ignore it, the usually inviting cotton sheets feeling much too warm. You tossed over onto your side, your nails digging into the pillow in your grasp as you tried to focus on the sound of Marc's slow, even breaths.

There wasn't much else to distract your gaze from straying, which wasn't helping, either. Like a moth to a flame, you find yourself stealing glances at the laptop perched on Steven's crammed desk. Again and again, however, you forced yourself to stare at the wall beside you. You were playing a game of cat and mouse, it felt like, and the universe was doing everything in its power to work against you.

Your usual white noise was practically blaring. You'd long since kicked the sheets off your body, the material bunched awkwardly at your feet. The sliver of moonlight peeking through the blinds glinted off the laptop's reflective case, only drawing your attention towards it even more.

You found yourself staring at it again before you could help yourself, eyes squinting in annoyance as you chewed the inside of your cheek.

A few more minutes wouldn't hurt.

As you slowly began to sit up, knuckling the sleep out of your eyes, your mind was already racing with things to do.

I haven't got the numbers from quarter two completely memorized yet, and it wouldn't look good if I have to keep referencing that slide during the meeting. And honestly, I don't know what I was thinking adding all those slide transitions. I'll have to edit them out. Maybe I'll pack a quick lunch for myself, too, that way I can just eat at my desk instead of having to pop over to the cafeteria. Yeah, that'll give me more time to finalize everything.

Your legs swung over the side of the bed as you lazily rolled your shoulders, a few satisfying 'pop's greeting you.

I could probably iron out my outfit, as well. I'll never hear the end of it from Jen if there's a wrinkle in my top when I'm presenting. God forbid clothing does what clothes are known to do-

Before you had the opportunity to stand up, however, you felt the weight of the mattress suddenly shift. A pair of arms wrapped around your waist, lips warm with sleep meeting the back of your neck.

"Where're you going?" Marc mumbled against your skin, his voice sleep logged.

You refrained from leaning back into his touch, fingers lightly circling around Marc's wrists.

"Bathroom," you offered, shooting him a reassuring smile over your shoulder.

When he was barely awake, Marc seemed much... softer than usual. His hair was lightly tussled, bits and piecing sticking out in various directions. The usual bags under his eyes didn't seem so pronounced, the gleam in his gaze ever present. You could stare at him for hours, it felt like. The only things tarnishing the view, however, were how his eyebrows began pulling together and the way his lips were pressed in a thin line. Despite just waking up, he was onto what you were up to in an instance.

"I'll only be up a few minutes."

"No you won't."

You could only look at him for a moment before finally speaking again.

"Don't be silly," you said, gently pulling yourself out of his grasp.

"Honestly Marc, I'll be back. You need the sleep and- hey!"

Marc ignored your protests, pulling you in until your back was pressed against his chest and he could lazily throw his leg over both of yours. His cheek pressed itself against the back of your shoulder, each of his soft exhales fanning across your neck. You ignored the goosebumps his breath left in its wake, the frown on your face deepening.

"Marc."

"Hmm?"

"Please let me go."

"So you can agonize over your keyboard until the sun comes up? Why would I do that?"

"Because I'm stressing out- and rightfully so. There are so many ways I could be productive right now and instead I'm just... I'm laying here."

You sucked in a deep breath.

"I'm not getting to sleep at this rate. I might as well make something of my time."

"That's a horrible idea," Marc replied bluntly, his voice still tired.

"How so?"

"Because-"

Marc interrupted himself with a groan as he gave a stretch, nonchalantly readjusting his position.

"You're gonna tell yourself 'Oh, I'll just review this and I'll be done', right? Then that'll turn into 'I'll rearrange some things real quick' or 'I should make a better version of this table' or whatever else you think up."

You couldn't see his face, but you could practically feel one of his eyebrows arch.

"Am I wrong?"

Too stubborn to confirm or deny his train of thought, even though he was very much correct, you only locked your jaw and sat in continued silence. This hardly phased Marc, however, so he continued.

"You'll just keep changing and adding, changing and adding, until you've got an entirely new presentation you're unfamiliar with. Then by the time you have to present it, you'll get overwhelmed and trip up because its nothing like what you practiced with. You'll be tired, too, which doesn't help. That's what happened last time, from my understanding."

You leaned further into Marc's chest, appreciating the feel of his skin against your own, and let out a heavy sigh.

"Things have to go perfectly to make up for that. I want to prove to them that I can do better."

Another kiss pressed itself against your skin.

"And you will, if you get some rest."

"I... I just can't. I'm all wired up right now and I don't know if I'll be able to get any sleep."

Marc was silent for a beat, only giving you a low 'hmm' in response. Several minutes had passed and you almost thought he had drifted off before he was speaking again.

"What if I laid on you?"

You rolled your eyes with a scoff, earning a chuckle from the man.

"No, not like that. What if I literally laid on you?"

You frowned, turning in your boyfriend's grasp to better face him. his tired eyes and a small smile greeted you.

"I don't see how that would help."

"It would be kind of like using my body as a weighted blanket. I think you mentioned having one in your apartment, right?"

You considered it for a moment, silently appreciating the way his thumb drew small circles on your hip. It was true- you did have a weighted blanket you often made use of back in your flat. And you would be lying to yourself if you said you didn't regret bringing it with you...

"You can say no if you want. It's just a suggestion."

"I know."

You toyed with your bottom lip, pondering the idea. What did you have to loose in trying?

"Let's give it a go, then."

"Fine by me."

Marc briefly released his hold on you only so he could roll himself on top of you, resting his head in the crook of your neck before he let his arms lazily circle you once again. You hummed contently at the shift in pressure Marc's weight provided, an instantaneous calm buzzing through your limbs. After several quiet moments of laying together like that, both your rapid heartbeat and breathing finally slowing, he groggily spoke.

"Better?"

"Mmm hmm."

"Good."

Just a few minutes later and the two of you had peacefully drifted off, the noise from the busy streets below falling on blissfully deaf ears.

[thedawningofthehour]

I just saw that post from four days ago about the threats you received, and I liked how you ended it because as a teenager I can say that teenagers are stupid.

I don't like going around saying that I'm better than most people my age, but genuinely, they're all so stupid and irresponsible. I don't understand. Of course, I'm still learning, but as I've gotten more mature I've started hating kids and teenagers because of how stupid they are. Most of them don't even care if they hurt someone else but when I do I feel like the worst person in the world. And then I hide from them for the rest of my life. And developed self-worth issues that may have already been present., but that's beside the point. Teenagers and kids just don't see the reason why people try to be kind. And that sucks, because in history kids grew up way faster than we do now. Something changed, and it could be any number of things. Social Media, Public School systems (by the way, who on earth thought it was a good idea to put a bunch of irresponsible, easily influenced children with a single adult. They're learning bad habits from each other, not good ones from the teacher. It should be the other way around. Kids are meant to grow up with lots of good adult influences). There's just so much wrong with today's society. I can't even write it all.

"It is important to draw wisdom from many different places." -Iroh (ATLA)

I'm very religious, so I don't swear, drink, smoke, stuff like that, and I think those standards and my parents childhoods definitely played a part in how I think today. Of course, everyone's lives are different and anything could cause anything, but I'm really sad how unhappy and careless people are nowadays. Kids should be taught to be kind to others, not just striving for their own joy. True happiness always comes from gratitude.

(If you haven't seen it already, check out Nothing Ever Changes by Nico Collins)

The world is stupid. A lot of people are cruel, and it shouldn't be this way but people don't care enough to change. It's sad, honestly. I've really enjoyed when you touch on stuff like that in Third from the Son because I feel like someone else sees the same things I do.

Good luck navigating the absolute monstrosity that is today's world, and thanks for providing us all with such an amazing story.

- A kind of sort of maybe mature teenager.

...Well. This is a lot to unpack.

So first of all! I do not think that today's children are any stupider or less mature than my generation or the generations before. Quite the contrary-I think you guys are doing great considering the 'gestures to everything in the world'. You guys are well educated and you want to make a difference. You want the world to be better. I think that's wonderful and I'm really proud of all my younger readers.

It's just that...teenagers are dumbasses. All of them. You guys have limited experience and your brains just aren't braining all the way. Even the smartest, most mature teenager is going to be fathoms wiser in ten years-if they aren't, something's gone wrong. That's just how wisdom works. Even if you're starting with a strong base, you still need time and experience to develop that. (this circles back to my thing about Donnie doing a bunch of dumb shit in the show-because yes, he's a genius, his brain is so big it literally alters the shape of his skull, and he's also a moron because he's fourteen) I know a lot of teenagers will really dislike hearing that, lord knows I hated hearing it when I was in high school. But five years from now you're going to be a greatly improved version of yourself and you're going to look back on your current self and roll your eyes. Maybe smile with fondness. But you will be different, and hopefully you will be better. I graduated in 2013 thinking I was super wise and mature. I'm wiser now, and in 2035 I hope I'll be wiser still. (if we're even still here by then)

And the idea that 'kids grew up faster' in the past is just false. Kids worked more, sure. They got sick more, died more, experienced loss more. But the whole idea that kids were considered full-grown adults the moment they hit puberty, married off and forced to start having babies and shit? Patently false. For one thing, people historically lived in multi-generational homes, so a lot of the things we associate with 'growing up' now-moving out, supporting yourself on your own income, blahblah-just really wasn't a thing. And apart from the nobility, people didn't marry and start families much younger than they do now. It was pretty common to wait until your twenties. Late teens sometimes, but those were often "shit I'm pregnant quick marry me so we can pass the baby off as an eight pound preemie" situations. (we really underestimate how many illegitimate babies were born before birth control, in many cultures it really wasn't a big deal) Teenagers of the past had more responsibilities, yes. They were still stupid about them. And often that stupidity had bigger consequences than their dumbassery immortalized on the internet.

I'm glad those responsibilities aren't on them now. That was messed up, kids shouldn't have been responsible for raising their siblings or making sure their families were fed. I love public school. I love education, it's actually very good for children developmentally to progress with peers rather than just trying to copy adults. I think social media is very much a double-edged sword, I think there are advantages to having it but I can't deny the negative effect it has, especially on kids and teenagers. It's a complicated issue and I haven't read every study there is about it, plus I want ice cream and don't feel like going into it right now.

And dude, I graduated from a Catholic high school. I knew a lot of kids who thought their godliness and purity made them more mature and put them above their peers. For one, most of them started partying like crazy the moment they got to college and got into tons of trouble that way, but they were all still idiots. There's nothing inherently immature about cursing or drinking a beer. It's absolutely fine if you're not into that scene, I wasn't either and I'm still not. But it doesn't make you better than the people who are.

I'm sorry if this comes off as dickish, that's not my intention. When I was eighteen I also thought I was better than my classmates. I was not.

[hoshizorax]

if you think that kentaro isn't going to eat cute themed foods and desserts, you would be horribly mistaken. he will gladly take and eat anything. hello kitty? eaten. rilakkuma? eaten. pusheen? eaten. doesn't matter at all. he will eat it. also, yes.. he works out and keeps his figure.

i imagine satoru being the one to call kentaro "kenny" and him absolutely hating it. correcting him until he just gives up and accepts his fate.

kentaro uses his katana to imbue his cursed energy with it. his domain expansion is lethal as once it is cast, not only does roots hold the target down.. but when he stabs someone with his katana.. roots and flowers rip through their body and tear them apart inside out from his sword. it's why it's called dākuyuri (dark lily).

if you have kentaro's phone number, you clearly are close enough to him to get weird texts from him. he is unashamed and unapologetic in weird thoughts and texts you will get from him at 3 am.

kentaro has a plethora of memes at his disposal. he can and will send you a bunch of them if you need cheering up.

kentaro's domain and powers are very centered around tree roots and flowers. sort of like hanami. the moon is also a huge factor as well. the night is when he's most active and his cursed energy is very powerful. don't be surprised if you see him undressed and can see the root-like markings on his body that show how much cursed energy that runs through him. if you've seen survivors of lightning strikes, it looks like that.

kentaro is the type of person that people think isn't very strong. like his powers aren't much but then they watch him in a fight and are heavily surprised. depending on how much your muse knows him, they could see him as silent or very isolated. even a goof ball. but when it comes to fighting or exorcising curses, he takes it seriously.

kentaro is a 28 year old virgin. never been kissed or anything.

kentaro writes poetry. you may see it, you may not. he does not make it known that he writes poetry. he doesn't make it known that he does a lot of things because that's something he enjoys keeping private. maybe he loves submitting poems anonymously on forums. taking in compliments and criticisms alike. figuring out where he can improve without drawing a face to the literature. maybe, just maybe, you will receive one when the time comes. to enjoy his writing and think back on him.

kentaro, first time in america finding really good restaurants. finds a place called texas roadhouse. is absolutely the one that falls in love with the rolls and literally eats almost all of his bodyweight in that and ends up making himself sick. still craves texas roadhouse rolls.

to those that think they don't want to corrupt this precious bby.. he's already corrupted. he used to get into bloody fistfights with other teenagers when he was also a teenager. cursing them accidentally as well. his parents also died in a tragic accident. this man is silent and calm for a reason.

kentaro is recognized as a special grade 1 now. he was a grade 1 in school but with him not being as strong as a special grade (in certain terms) he was given this recognition once he graduated. he can conjure a lethal domain which is rare and difficult but it also takes a lot out of him once done. his black flashes aren't as rapid as yuji's. he's got to maybe 4 or 5 at most.

kentaro unknowingly got dākuyuri from his biological father.

not only does poor kentaro have the gojo bloodline but he also has the kamo bloodline. poor guy, honestly.

there is a bit of an ability that i finally ironed out in my head. while he can do it within his domain expansion, depending on the intent he can brand people with a curse when he touches them. the grade of curse depends on how angry/irritated he is. mild irritation are very low level curses. severe anger are special grade. it's basically a lure. it's not something he makes known.

[starlightshadowsworld]

Danganronpa 3 Future Arc episode 7

Thonks

(We're back!)

I find it interesting that people blame Makoto for Junko's death.

I get why because he's the one who defeated her. He's the one who won the final trial, learned the truth and beat her at her own game.

He's Ultimate Hope and she's Ultimate Despair.

However, Junko's death is not Makoto's fault. She's the one who pressed the big red button and had all of this set up.

If anything Makoto was trying to prevent her death.

But of course her followers can't blame her so they pick him.

Man... I'm like barely a minute in and I'm on a rant.

Monaca in a dictator outfit while a bunch of Monokuma's at a bar.

Not a visual I expected.

Well Monaca is definitely embodying Junko, doing a lot of her mannerisms and such.

I do find it ironic that Junko's death gives people such despair, it's what she would have wanted.

And Monaca made herself the heir to Junko rather than Komaru.

Junko Enoshima the 2nd aka Monaca Towa doesn't really roll off the tongue, maybe workshop that.

Ayyy Nagisa!

Okay okay the Warriors of Hope are in on this too and know where Monaca is.

Okay but Nagisa's reflection dead ass looks like Mukuro.

I'm not the only one who's sees it, right?

Awh hell yeah Komaru's blasting Monokuma's with a microphone and taking names.

And Toko is here, trying her best.

I love Komaru's inner monologue of how she was just a normal high-school girl before all of this, while taking out Monokuma's.

Immediately the "hopes not my thing neither is despair" her whole I'm just gonna leave that up to my brother attitude I love it.

Have I mentioned I love the Naegi siblings? Because I absolutely do.

And Genocider Sho is here. I love how Komaru has befriended both Toko and Sho.

Hmm maybe let's not tell Komaru that Makoto was about to either be locked up for an eternity, or if Munakata had his way, executed.

Nooo not the Byakuya fantasy.

What in the world... Why he look like that? Why she look like that?

Ima skip this...

I feel so bad for real Byakuya who is somehow aware of all of this... Poor guy.

It's cool seeing Byakuya's inner monologue. It's no hangman's gambit but it's interesting to see him think stuff over.

And it is suspicious that the killing game isn't being broadcasted, shows they've got something to hide.

I love how Byakuya isn't even that far up in the Future Foundation but takes control abd everyone's just like yeah sure why not.

"Do not fret, for as long as I draw breath this organisation will not fall. I swear it on the dignity of the Togami name."

Nevermind I see why, he was the ultimate affluent progeny, dude was quite literally born to lead.

And it's nice to see it, especially seeing how he's changed and doing this to help his friends.

Also his name means nothing in this world and yet he makes it mean something, man so cool.

Toko and Sho heading into Monaca's base.

This should be good. I love that Nagisa said they don't have the man power and yet these two are just running inside.

It is highly impossible to be more Junko than Junko.

That's just basic maths.

"You're not gonna lay a hand on my brother!"

... No one let Komaru meet Juzo or Munakata.

Actually... Someone please do.

Wait, she surrendered? Huh...

Oh wow she really did blow this pop stand.

And there's a Monokumamobile.

Monaca be acting like every ex Junko cosplayer.

I kinda like this Monaca, just like oh yeah the whole Junko thing eh that was a phase I was going through.

Just laying down and playing games and eating crisps.

I don't trust it tho.

"I don't get it, how did you become such a lousy excuse for a human being."

WOAH!

Komaru!

Wow Komaru Naegi really gives no fucks. She's so over all of this, can't blame her tho.

I... Forgot about the whole Nagito was their servant thing... Huh.

Honestly going soo far down the road you think you're become a Despair filled Nagito... Yeah that'd make me stop in my tracks too.

Nevermind that is the evil smile.

So there gonna kill one of the previous survivors.

... Please don't, Makoto almost lost it when they fake killed Asahina I don't think he can handle a real one.

And Monaca knows but won't spill.

Wasn't prepared for Monaca to actually go to space.

Sure, why not maybe she'll find Kaito.

... Too soon?

I like how it actually gets to Sho that one of the past survivors could be killed.

Komaru being upset at the idea of losing Toko is so sad and sweet.

Aww Komaru and Makoto video reunion.

.... Komaru! Better ways to phrase it, don't say hey Makoto my dearly traumatised older brother.

Monaca told me someone's gonna die because of you.

Like, I get it we don't have much time but don't rip the plaster off that hard.

He's not gonna take this well.

Especially when he's standing next to a survivor from the first game.

Byakuya's attitude of that's complete bullshit, is my thoughts exactly.

"Somebodies gonna die.. Because of me...."

SEE! What did I say?! Oh man I was already concerned for mental state of Makoto Naegi.

And this is only increasing that concern.

I am stressed.

[inner-space-oddity]

Vent under the cut

What I learned from being in a mental hospital for three hours

Yesterday, I called the suicide hotline.

It’s been a long year for me, a long life, really. I’m only 19, but it’s just been a lot.

I’ve struggled with depression for over 10 years, anxiety for over 6, and C-PTSD for over 5. Over the past two years, I’ve developed chronic pain that makes it difficult for me to do the things I love like dancing and going outside.

Yesterday, I just felt so hopeless. My medical bills are adding up every day — my primary care physician recommended I see a psychiatrist (whom I can’t get in with until June), my astigmatism contacts cost over $600/year, I should be seeing a physical therapist per my prescription, and my antidepressants are being exchanged for a different type that will require an EKG (heart monitoring check-up) if I am to start them.

I feel like I haven’t been able to live up the the standards I’ve been given, or even the ones I want to achieve myself. I’ve been in a depressive episode for two weeks now.

So I called the hotline.

Here’s what I learned from the experience.

1) When the responder said he would send someone to come talk to me, three police and three paramedics showed up.

They were all wearing disposable gloves, and they didn’t sit down when I asked them to. They were all standing around me, and I felt cornered.

2) When they came to get me, they sent an ambulance.

It wasn’t scary — I’ve been in an ambulance before, and the medic was nice and she talked to me on the way. They took my blood pressure and pulse continuously on the ride and put seatbelts over my body.

3) Because I didn’t struggle or fight at all (I called willingly and I went willingly), they let me walk into the ER instead of being rolled in on the gurney. I appreciated that because it gave me a sense of control.

4) The mental health rooms in the ER actually looked like those in a horror movie.

This was the most surprising part.

The walls were beige and peeling, there was a blue cot in the middle of the room, and there was a security camera and a mirror in two of the corners. There was no handle on the door, only a lock, which I could use to open it, but I didn’t know I was able to until I left at the end.

They told me to put on scrubs and honestly, when I saw the grippy socks, I broke down sobbing (again). They weren’t even real socks lol, they didn’t have a heel, just grips on either side of the sock. They weren’t comfortable either.

After I got dressed in the scrubs, they opened the door again, but it took a while, and I was scared. I didn’t want to be alone, and they left me in there for at least ten minutes.

I don’t think anyone was actively watching the security cameras, since it took a while for them to come in after I was dressed. (I didn’t take off my underclothes, and I have no qualms with my own nudity, so it didn’t bother me too much.) They could have just been busy — it looked like a high-traffic night. But that doesn’t make it much better.

5) You aren’t allowed to have any personal items at all. At all.

I came in with the bare minimum because I didn’t know what to expect. But when they asked me to put my clothes in a bag, I asked if I could keep my sweatshirt because it’s my comfort item. They said no.

Honestly, I can’t fathom why I can’t have a sweatshirt with me to comfort me, especially since they didn’t provide anything to do after asking me a bunch of questions.

The guy who took my blood (they also collected my urine, both for drug testing purposes) told me he’d asked the administration to provide edible chalk for the residents to draw on the walls.

I have ADHD, so those three hours were THE worst. No chalk for me. I made a fortune teller out of a tissue. XD

6) The nurses misgendered me even after I corrected them.

This is a big reason why I won’t be going back to that specific hospital. I didn’t want to go somewhere that wasn’t connected with the behavioral health service I was already in contact with, but they don’t have ER care so that wasn’t an option.

The nurses also repeatedly used my legal name even though I told them my preferred name and a couple of them wrote it down on the forms.

I can safely say that this is one of The worst things you can do to a transgender person in a mental health crisis.

7) They fed me.

I…. Did not expect that at all. It was very much like a high school lunch, but it was good enough, and it helped improve my mood. They gave me Sprite instead of water, which was probably good for my blood sugar, but considering that I had been crying for the past three hours, it wasn’t exactly the choice I would have made if I were them.

8) As an adult, the hospital didn’t call anyone.

However, since I called the hotline number associated with the service that already had my information and emergency contact, that service did call my emergency contact.

9) Even through everything, my parents still made the 2 1/2 hour drive down to come support me.

I remember the first time I told my mom that I wanted to die, she spanked me. She had said that she raised me better than that, that she raised me to value my life. So when the nurse handed me the phone, I was terrified.

After all the medical bills, the stress, the trouble that I had caused my parents…. I don’t know what I expected, but there wasn’t a hint of anger in my mom’s voice.

And my dad, who always gets cagey when I try to talk to him about my mental and physical health, made the drive as well. He wanted to stay with me while I was hospitalized.

In the end, I was only there for three hours, so my dad went home instead of driving the last hour to see me, but I will see him tomorrow when the family comes to see my concert.

10) Despite everything, I am loved, and you are too.

I’ve been contacted by three different mental health services today. I called my mom this morning because I said I would. My roommate came to pick me up from the hospital even though I hadn’t been a good friend to her in my depression. One of my close friends contacted me this morning to ask to see me.

Hospitalization sucks. It costs money, it costs time and energy, and it feels like it isn’t worth it. But after last night, I think I finally realize how much effort has been put into helping me keep living.

Despite feeling like I’m a burden, like I’ve never done anything good for anyone, like I’m not worth the worry… everyone still came to help me.

I’m not alone. And you’re not either. Even if you think you have no friends or family there for you, there will always be someone in your corner.

You are worth it. You are loved. Seeking help is the strongest and most powerful thing you can do.

You are not weak. You are resourceful and resilient. You will get through this. You will.

[myxinidaes]

been a while! been busy irl and also not in the best headstate but. A short writeup of what i've been reading/watching/doing.

Watching: Our Flag Means Death, assorted horror movies, Adventure time.

OFMD season 2 has been tons of fun so far! I've been watching with a friend at my place and we get to harass the orange cat while we watch. He loves attention so he doesn't mind (much). Can we talk abt the bell scene, though? hot damn. awakened things in me.

Horror movies watched have been: Barbarian (spooky but I think more disgusting/sad/pathetic than truly scary), Pet Sematary (halfway through, p spooky!), Jennifer's Body (not scary, very fun), IT (rewatch, still a solid time), Malignant (partway through, a fun time), Repo! (fun! very fun!), and probably more? there have been a Lot of horror movies between weekly streams with internet friends and dinner+drink+horror nights with housemates

Somehow I missed the Adventure Time craze as a teen, but i've been enjoying catching up! a fun show to watch when i dont want to think abt anything. The art style seems very uhhhhh inconsistent though? a bit disorienting

Reading: She Who Became the Sun by Shelley Parker-Chan. Hoooly fuck. This book is driving me insane in the absolute best way. I tried reading it last year and fizzled out around the gorge scene even though I was really enjoying it. I've been on a bunch of long bus rides lately, so I picked it up again and truly losing my mind. All of the POVs are so distinct and well-done, the opening scene of the girl stealing her brother's name and the way Zhu Chongba goes on to claim her destiny as well! The gender fuckery! The woman disguised as a male monk meeting the eunuch general! The rage and horror and disgust present in Ouyang's narration, the razorwire cunning and determination of Zhu Chongba's, the complexities of Esen's court!!! And the main romance is absolutely fucking insane. A woman who wants the world at her feet and a wife just trying to survive. Screaming, crying, etc etc etc.

There have been multiple times in the book where I had to pause and lose my mind silently for a few seconds like. WOW. Dearly looking forward to finishing this book and reading He Who Drowned the World. Pictured below, one of my favorite passages.

Other things I've been reading (wip fics):

Tarnished Gold, Scum Villain fic. Absolutely engrossing fic where Shen Yuan transmigrates into Gongyi Xiao instead of Shen Qingqiu. The characterization is beyond top-notch, it's honestly aspirational. The POV is a Luo Binghe fresh from the Abyss and hellbent on causing Gongyi Xiao's complete and utter disgrace. The slow shift from plotting and scheming to a completely in-character Binghe obsession to (eventually) romance? Delightful. So crunchy to read.

Tasting the Outer Road: the Outlaw's Guide to Good Gunsmoke Eating, Trigun Maximum fic. I'm obsessed with everything this author puts out tbh, but a post-Trimax canon fic featuring Knives as a food reviewer and examining consumption, the twins' place in the world, and the harm wrought by Knives is everything I've ever wanted.

Welcome! Everything is Fine. IDW Transformers fic. A Good Place x Transformers mashup... kind of. It's fun! It'll make you laugh! It's got Starscream/Minimus aka the transformers ship of all time!

Listening to: So much. It's been a lot of Hozier lately (concert is less than two weeks away!!), but there was a man at the farmer's market this week singing the Decemberists and that reminded me how much I love them so. shrugs. let's just say i've been rolling around in indie albums.

Working on: Classwork. VW bangfic. I've been busy and I'm very much at the stage in the fic where I'm hating everything I write. But that's fine, the important thing is that it gets written (I say as I contemplate my wip which hasn't had meaningful progress being added for a While now i am so very stuck). My arm's been positively fucked these past few weeks, so I haven't had the opportunity to draw much. Hopefully eventually! I want to do gift art for VWBB friends still, but I'm running out of time.

I've applied to be an officer at a club, curious to see if I get the position. Fingers crossed, I guess? I haven't done IRL leadership stuff in a while, it would be nice to get back into it.

I've been journaling a lot lately, giving it another go after it just made me spiral hard during the early pandemic era. Not sure if it's been helping, but it's definitely better than losing my mind in public on social media? Baby steps.

Final note, very important: Please appreciate the orange cat being harassed.