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readyplayerhobi · 4 years

Text

La Douleur Exquise

; Horse Hybrid!Taehyung x Lovebird Hybrid!Reader

; Genre: Fluff, angst, smut

; Warnings: Penetrative sex, dirty talk, unprotected sex, creampie, impregnation kink, filmed sex

; Word Count: 14.9k

; Synopsis: Taehyung is in love with his best friend. The problem? He’s a stallion, a horse hybrid who’s basic instinct is to collect a herd of women to protect and procreate. His best friend is a lovebird hybrid and they mate for life. He knows it’s pretty much impossible to be together and that you’d end up hurt, but what happens when he finds out you love him just as much?

; A/N: So, my first fic in like...two months? I started this fic in early July and honestly...I just wanted it finished. If it seems a bit disjointed or something then it was very stop and start...I hope you all enjoy it anyway and that it doesn’t disappoint or anything! It’s taken a WHILE for me to get back into writing (honestly, I almost left lol). Please reblog if you enjoyed and leave me comments and asks!

“Oh...fuck. Fuck, you’re so big, mmm,” The girl on her hands and knees in front of Taehyung moaned, her ass wiggling in desperation as he thrust his hard cock into her soaked pussy. “Harder, please. Please, fuck me harder.”

He hissed as she clenched around him, his entire length disappearing with ease inside her as his hips moved rhythmically. Large hands groped at the globes of her ass, squeezing them and spreading them wide to give the best view possible. Grunting, he slapped at one cheek hard and smirked when she yelped, jerking slightly.

“Such a pretty girl, so pliant and willing, hmm?” Taehyung questioned, his voice low and brusque as he moved hard enough to cause the room to be filled with the sound of skin slapping on skin. “A greedy pussy, so eager for your stallion to get you in foal, aren’t you?”

She moaned in response, her face unseen to him but her body reacted by squeezing around his cock once more. Running one hand along her spine, he hummed in delight before leaning forward and biting down on her shoulder. It was instinctual, something deep in his genes telling him to hold her steady while he filled her up and impregnated her.

His other hand moved down to her clit, the bundle of nerves still soft and silky with her excitement but also swollen hard with her impending orgasm. Years of experience let his fingertips find the exact spot he needed, swirling them in quick circles and making her cry out even louder, hips bucking beneath him.

“That’s a good mare,” He panted, trailing his nose along her neck slowly. “Come for me, come on, you can do it. Tighten that pussy around me and I’ll breed you as you want.”

Her orgasm hit seconds later, body convulsing tightly around him and he grunted, hips jerking forward even more rapidly. She was whining, a babbling mess beneath him as he continued to stimulate her, the effects being just as pleasurable for him too until he too came.

Pressing into her hard, he felt the slight resistance of what must be her uterus against the tip of his cock but she didn’t complain of any pain. One of the benefits of being a fellow horse hybrid was that a mare was biologically compatible with the large cock stallions had. One hand held her hips steady, making sure she didn’t move away as his balls convulsed rhythmically, each time causing his cock to twitch as he continued to ejaculate inside her.

She was breathing hard now, her body covered in a fine layer of sweat that caught the light perfectly and he hummed in appreciation, finally feeling the end of his orgasm. Slowly, he pushed himself upright and licked at his lips as he gave a few, shallow thrusts to wring out his final moments of pleasure and also make sure she got all of his cum.

“You were a good girl for me. We’ll get a nice colt or filly from you.” He mutters, stroking along her back appreciatively. Her skin was darker in certain patches and lighter in others, a result of her American Paint Horse breeding. It was pretty and he let his fingers trail along with the colour distinction.

Finally, though, he pulled out. The noise as he did so was extremely wet, but that was nothing compared to the rush of thick, white cum that slipped out of her used pussy. Pursing his lips, he looked it over carefully before dragging his fingers through some of it and pushing it back inside her. It didn’t matter, stallions were renowned for the large amount of semen they produced and she was probably filled inside.

“And cut!” Called the director, his voice interrupting the silence of the set. Taehyung let out an immediate sigh of relief and sat back, his cock rapidly softening now that the scene was over. His co-star sat up with a groan, stretching to get out the kinks in her back from the position she’d been in for the last ten minutes.

As she did so, the trickle of cum once more became a torrent, slipping down her thighs to collect on the bed. She didn’t pay attention to it and he didn’t say anything, the two of them used to scenes like this by now. Wheein was a consummate professional and one of the best in the porn industry, just like Taehyung.

“That was a good scene,” She complimented him, smiling in gratitude to her assistant who brought a robe that she used to cover herself up with. “Even if the whole ‘dirty talk’ is a little overdone nowadays.”

Taehyung rolled his eyes in agreement, grinning as he accepted the cleaning wipes from his assistant. Without a care in the world, he began to wipe his cock clean as he continued on his discussion with Wheein. She was quickly wiping down her thighs and between her legs as well. They’d both clean up more properly when they went to their dressing rooms but he wouldn’t be seeing her again after this.

Not unless they worked on the same set again.

“Right? It’s so fucking cringe. I wish they’d hire someone who’s an equine if they’re going to write a script featuring two of us. Who even talks like that?” He muttered, tugging on his robe and tying it closed before slipping his feet into the sandals provided to him.

The laugh Wheein gives is sweet, making her entire face light up. She really is a beautiful woman and her body is equally divine, only made even better by her kind and bubbly personality. Not that she’d been able to show that during this scene of course.

It struck Taehyung that she’d probably make a good mare for his herd. Despite the fact they were lamenting how lame the script was that they’d been given, there were some truths to what they’d filmed. A stallion like Taehyung would actively seek out fertile mares from good stock for his herd to breed with.

The better quality the mare’s breeding, the better his foals would be.

At least, that’s what horse hybrids were meant to do. Wheein would probably even agree to it if he asked. He knew that she wasn’t in a herd already and she’d made it pretty clear to him that she’d be open to something outside of their work if he wanted. His deeply-rooted instincts demanded that he take her home and breed her properly, but he just sighed deeply instead.

He may be a horse hybrid, with all the possessive and protective instincts that provided him as a stallion, but he had no actual interest in living his life like that. Which is why he makes a little more small talk with Wheein before leaving to go to his dressing room. The shower he takes is quick, making sure to rub viciously at his body as he tries his hardest to remove any scent of the mare he’d just fucked.

Hybrids were something that had been created long ago. So long ago, no one knew how they were made anymore. The knowledge had been lost in the Hybrid Revolution, three centuries ago when hybrids had refused to be slaves for their human masters anymore. Ever since they’d been treated as equals to everyone else in society.

That didn’t mean that they’d integrated fully of course. Hybrids of different species more often than not stayed with each other or mated with humans. It did happen though, but the differing instincts meant it often was better for a hybrid to simply stay within their species.

Something Taehyung had always found amusing though was the fact that even within their species, a lot of hybrids would only mate within their own ‘breed’. Wheein was a pure American Paint Horse, coming from a long line that could be traced back to when the humans had been breeding horse hybrids for manual labour, protection services and sports purposes.

Back then, the humans treated hybrids exactly like actual horses. They had a studbook and would breed stallions to certain mares to produce characteristics they wanted. Placid nature, easy to work with, intelligent, quick to learn and so forth. When they’d been released, the breeds had continued on the studbooks to this day.

There were plenty who didn’t follow that ideology, of course, Taehyung’s parents were not the same breed after all, but a lot seemed to put stock in being ‘purebred’. It was just another way to act superior in his opinion.

Besides, his parents may not be from the same breed but he was still technically a breed all of his own. His mother was an Arabian while his father a Thoroughbred, meaning he was a breed called an Anglo-Arab. That was considered a breed in its own right, though perhaps not as prestigious as either of his parents.

Whatever he didn’t care about all that. Taehyung had no real interest in following the cultural norms of his heritage. And the reason for that was waiting for him back at his apartment. The thought of that spurred him into cleaning up even faster, making sure he was squeaky clean before pulling on the clothes he’d removed earlier in the day.

Glancing in the mirror once finished, he sighed deeply and looked himself over. A quirk of his kind was that they looked distinctly hybrid in ways that didn’t match others.

A dog hybrid may have the ears of a spaniel while a cat could have the tail of a Persian. Horse hybrids didn’t have any of their animal counterpart’s physical characteristics though, no tails or ears or anything like that. But their animal genes had manifested uniquely in their skin and hair.

If someone was a bay then they would have brown skin in a range of shades while their lower arms, legs and the space around their mouths and nose would be even darker and their hair a luscious black. Taehyung blended a little better than most other horse hybrids, but for others like Wheein, it was more obvious. Her skin was covered in patches of alternating dark and light while her natural hair grew in white and dark brown.

He knew that certain breeds had distinct characteristics as well. An old high school friend was a Friesian with coal-black skin and the most luxuriously thick, wavy black hair. One of his Taehyung’s siblings, on the other hand, had a Lipizzaner mare in his herd; her skin and hair was snow white. It certainly made them easily identifiable.

Taehyung wasn’t quite so obvious. His palomino colouring was visible; pale white hair that was a little too long and softly tousled matched with rich golden skin. Broad shoulders tapered down into a slim waist, currently covered in a loose white button-up. His hair was still wet, dripping onto his shirt while his strong thighs and calves were contained within equally loose-fitting tan trousers.

He didn’t look like someone who’d just filmed pornography, but then again, what did that look anyway? Just a person? Still, he felt a small sense of satisfaction at how well he was going to blend. The last thing he wanted was to go home and have it look obvious what he’d just been doing, even if it was his job.

Chewing on his lip, he grabs his leather cross shoulder bag and exits the dressing room. He promised to get takeout tonight, and he wasn’t going to renege on that deal.

“I have food!” Taehyung calls out, placing the bag of takeout he’d just picked up on the kitchen counter before shrugging off his jacket. By the time he gets back from hanging it up, you’ve already emerged from your bedroom and are pulling plates out of the cupboard while trying to see what he’d gotten.

“What did you get? Chinese?” Looking up at him with a raised brow, Taehyung’s heart stutters for a moment at just how pretty you are. There’s not a trace of makeup on your face right now, you didn’t bother when you were at home, and yet you were still the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

Like him, you were also a hybrid. The two of you had met in the first class of freshman year in college and had quickly become best friends, despite the differences between you both. He’d also fallen deeply in love with you at some point, even though he knew nothing could happen.

Just as he was driven by the instinct to have sex with multiple women to form a herd, you were driven by your instincts. Only yours were dictated by your lovebird genetics, which meant that you were strictly monogamous. As in, once you entered a relationship and truly fell in love with them then you would never have another relationship.

The antithesis of a horse hybrid then. Taehyung had long known that it meant he would never be able to be with you the way he wanted. You craved monogamy and it simply wasn’t in his genes.

So he’d stayed your best friend, and for the last five years since finishing college, he’d also remained your roommate. The two of you shared a mid-sized apartment in the city centre, close to the university that you worked at as a music professor and within easy driving distance of his workplace.

“No, there’s a new Ethiopian place that’s opened close to work. Seokjin was telling me about it it’s a vegan restaurant and I thought it’d be cool to try it out. No idea what you’d like, or what I’d like, so I just got a bunch of things to try.” Smiling at you, he starts to pull out the carefully packaged food and chuckles as you ‘ooh’ at it all.

“Oooh, I’ve never had Ethiopian food before. I’m excited.” And then you turn that blinding smile onto him and he has to let out a deep breath as slowly as possible to stop himself from doing something silly. He’s long been used to his feelings yet you still make him feel like a teenager again.

Once everything’s out, the two of you take it over to the little table that’s set up between the kitchen and the living room and lay it all out. You quickly dart over to the fridge and grab some water for the two of you before settling down and humming in excitement as everything is unpackaged.

Like Taehyung, you didn’t have many physical attributes of your animal side. Which would have been exceptionally strange given the difference between humans and birds. What you did have though, were black irises to match your pupils and the most exquisitely beautifully coloured hair. The front was a blend of peach, yellow and red which slowly morphed into the familiar lovebird green.

It was all-natural and incredibly pretty, suiting your face and personality so well. The original purpose of lovebird hybrids had been as companions due to their loyalty to their partner alongside musical pursuits. Not everyone was great at music but more often than not, lovebird hybrids tended to excel at singing.

Taehyung loved to hear you sing. Or play the piano or any of the other instruments you’d learnt how to play over the years. You were practically a prodigy when it came to the musical arts and he would forever be in awe of just how talented you were.

Your singing was one of the reasons he’d fallen for you so quickly; your buoyant and always effervescent personality had made him determined to befriend the sweet lovebird hybrid in his class. But it was your singing that had truly captured his heart.

The sweet sound of your voice could be as light as a dandelion seed on a summer breeze or swell as loud and strong as a hurricane. He’d been immediately fascinated the moment he’d first heard you sing and it had never let him go. Taehyung genuinely couldn’t imagine his life anymore without hearing your singing around the apartment; from the quiet songs when you were concentrating to the ones you belted out when you were in a happy mood.

He loved it all. As cheesy as it would sound, he just knew that his life would be dull and quiet without his music-obsessed, colourful, chatty best friend. Which was why he couldn’t give up the small hope of something with you. It was a tiny chance, but as long as you remained unattached then it was there all the same and he would grab onto it tightly.

“Did your shoot go well today?” You distract him out of his wayward thoughts with your question and it takes a few seconds of it to truly penetrate his mind and for him to understand. Almost immediately though, it causes him to twist his lips as he begins to spoon out the food he wants from the containers onto his injera, Ethiopian flatbread, that covers his plate. He hated talking about his job to you. It was like a reminder of what he couldn’t have every time.

But he was a big boy, so he took in a deep breath before looking back at you and giving you his trademark boxy smile.

“It went okay, nothing went wrong which is always a good thing. Wheein was nice and very pleasant to work with, good at her job. The script was just as bad as I originally thought.” Snorting at the memory, he takes a mouthful of food and chews thoughtfully as he takes in the new flavours.

“Let me guess...full of lots of over-the-top horse innuendos and dirty talk?” Chuckling to yourself, you take a drink of cold water before tilting to your head to look him over carefully. Taehyung pauses, unsure of himself for a second before quirking his brow at you.

“Yeah, something like that. I shouldn’t be complaining really...no one watches what I make for the dialogue.” He’s very aware that there’s a slight pout to his lips as he looks back down at his plate, missing the way your expression changes to one of sympathy and protectiveness.

“Well...true I guess, but you’re a great actor outside of that. And I’m not just saying that to you because you’re my best friend TaeTae. You’re genuinely good.” Now he does look at you, taking in the way you look at him with concern and he feels a flare of guilt rise in his stomach. Taehyung would never let you know that the only reason he’d started to work in the pornography industry during college was so that he could satiate his desires without dating multiple women or accidentally creating a herd.

The fact that he was still doing it, seven years after beginning, was because he still held out hope. He knew that he could’ve been something better, entered the world of television or film acting, maybe even theatre. But it would have meant having to flaunt an unending trail of women in front of you.

At least he had a valid and acceptable reason for fucking so many women as a pornstar. The fact that he had no emotional connection to the women who worked alongside him now was a bonus, allowing you to see that he was more than capable of leaving his work in the studio.

Giving you a tight smile, Taehyung nods his head in appreciation. “Thanks, chirp. I appreciate it. And I know, but I think it’s too late now. Too old, you know?”

“Pfft, no way. There are loads of actors who didn’t start their careers until they were older! And no offence, but you’re a guy so you’ve got the kind of lifespan that most women aren’t allowed. You’re only twenty-nine!” The outraged response from you is almost immediate, the piece of injera almost flying out of your hand at your reaction.

Thankfully, you’d just eaten the vegetable wat that you’d scooped up already so there wasn’t any risk of the floor or wall being decorated with Ethiopian stew. That would just be a waste of some good food in Taehyung’s opinion.

But that was irrelevant.

What was relevant was your vehement defence of Taehyung and his talents. The two of you had had this conversation many times over the years and yet it never failed to make him smile. You were adamant he could do better and he knew that he could too. But he didn’t want to. Despite how good his acting was, he had no real interest in actually taking it up as a career outside of porn.

He didn’t care for the lifestyle or travelling or fame. Porn worked well for him at the moment. It satisfied his instincts, it paid well enough and he had a manager that ensured Taehyung only received the best directors, co-stars and films.

What Taehyung would love to do, was to work in fashion design. He loved putting together interesting and unique looks while also thinking up ideas for clothes. His best friend, Jimin, had started a clothing brand of his own a few years ago thanks to the money his parents had loaned him. It was doing pretty well so far and Jimin was constantly sad that Taehyung wouldn’t join him.

The older man, he was only two months older but that meant everything to Park Jimin, had tried everything he could think of to lure his best friend into his company. From offering a creative director role to his sub-brand that would operate almost independently from the parent brand, Calico. And Taehyung had promised him that he’d accept one day.

He would as well. Just not yet. It wasn’t time yet.

“Thanks. Anyway, how was your day? Didn’t you say you had some exams this morning or something?” His segue into another conversation works like a charm and you happily begin to complain about the exams that you’d given your freshman students today. It still boggled his mind that you’d willingly insert yourself into college life again, even if it was in a teaching role but you seemed to thrive in the social aspect of it all.

The two of you continue to talk until there’s no food left, every single piece happily was eaten. Admittedly, most of it was eaten by Taehyung as he had a far larger appetite than you did. It was even bigger today given the workout he’d done during his work hours but you’d been content to hand over what you didn’t want to eat anymore.

Or rather, you’d been content to feed him what you didn’t want. Something he’d had to get used to very early on in his friendship with you was that you retained the instinct to feed those you were close to. That’s what you’d told him anyway, though if he was to be entirely honest he hadn’t seen you feed anyone else before.

Then again, none of the friends you both shared in common was the kind of people who would accept being fed, no matter how much they liked you.

It’s a few hours later that you’re both ready to go to bed; eyes sleepy and movements slow after watching three episodes of The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina while curled up beneath the couch blanket as you both digest your food. Taehyung could have happily fallen asleep where he was, the warmth of you not close enough for him to feel but your scent strong enough to lull him into a peaceful slumber.

“I’m going to bed.” You say loudly, causing him to jerk awake quickly as you push the blanket off your body and stand up. It’s not as quick as you’d normally be but the stretch you give combined with the extraordinarily big yawn lets him know you’re pretty tired.

Not a surprise. It was after 11 pm now and you’d been up since 5:30 am to make sure you had everything set for your classes. A slight wobble as you lose your balance causes him to jump up, resting a hand on the small of your back gently to provide careful assistance while he reaches for the remote with his other to turn off the television.

“Careful, you’re gonna hurt yourself.” Taehyung chuckles, kicking away the blanket which had also become tangled around your feet. A quiet hum from you lets him know that you’re more tired than he’d initially thought.

Not saying anything more, he runs his free hand through the pale blonde strands of his hair as he directs you towards your bedroom. The door is closed to the outside world, unlike his, but the interior is familiar to him once you open it up.

One of the habits you had that came from your lovebird side was that you liked to nest. Which meant your bedroom had everything you loved arranged exactly how you wanted it. Your bed was a canopy style, completely cocooned away from the world except for the entrance. He’d been in once or twice to wake you up when you’d been late for something and he would admit to being fascinated by just how dark and...comfy it all looked.

Soft sheets, multiple fluffy pillows and more covered the top of your bed. He’d love to see what it was like to sleep in it one night because it looked like it could easily be one of the comfiest nights of sleep he’s ever had. A bonus would be if you slept next to him.

One of the more fortunate, or unfortunate depending on how you looked at it, aspects of his heritage was that Taehyung could sleep anywhere. He’d even been known to sleep standing up, which meant that he wasn’t that bothered about what his sleeping space looked like.

Taehyung knew it was something of an honour for him to be even allowed in your bedroom, to be honest, given how protective and territorial you got over your own space. It had been amusing for him to realise this at first, particularly given he wasn’t particularly bothered when it came to his own physical space but upon realising you wouldn’t let anyone else in, he’d used it as a badge of pride.

To himself, of course. No one else would care or even be surprised that your best friend and roommate was the only person allowed in.

Shaking his head, he wishes you goodnight before closing your door quietly and heading to the bathroom for his nightly ritual. The downside to being a porn actor was that he had to follow a proper skincare routine to make sure his skin looked the best. Because obviously, people were paying attention to his beautiful face instead of his massive dick.

Not.

Still, it helped to book more shoots. He had a ‘statuesque’ face that appealed to women or something. So he went along with it and had, admittedly, fantastic skin as a result.

The last thought before he finally fell asleep was that he was pretty sure the oversized black sweatpants you’d been wearing were his.

Taehyung doesn’t get to see a whole lot of you in the next few weeks. He’d ended up having to travel for a shoot that lasted a week and by the time he got back, you were on a much-needed vacation with your friends. As such, he was getting a little grumpy at the lack of interaction with you.

Which was entirely the reason that he’d almost jumped on top of you when you’d finally walked through the apartment door; three long weeks after seeing you last. You’d let him know that you’d be coming home today and he’d had to wait as patiently as he could on the couch, pouting at the fact you hadn’t accepted his offer of going to the airport to meet you.

But with everything in the apartment turned off, he’d used his superior hearing to the best of his abilities and had listened as hard as possible for your footsteps. After so many years, he knew exactly what you sounded like when you walked.

So when he finally heard that familiar beat, alongside the rolling of the wheels on your suitcase, he’d leapt up. There may even be a hole in the wall from how forcefully he’d yanked the door open, his excitement causing him to not pay attention to his strength for a moment before he’s giving you the biggest and brightest grin he possibly can.

“I missed youuuuuu!” Whining loudly, Taehyung wraps his arms around your waist and lifts. The squeal you let out soon dissolves into laughter when he spins you around, mentally marvelling once more at how light you were while his sense went haywire with you so close again. He could feel the softness of your hips as he lets you down, smell the soft peach of your shampoo along with the slight hint of sweat after so long travelling.

It was perfect, and something deep within him relaxed.

You were home. You were safe.

“I missed you too, Tae! Can I please actually come in?” Your laughter is sweet, infectious as always and he stands to the side to let you enter the apartment. Without even asking, he gently takes the handle of your suitcase from you and lifts it with no complaints, heading over to your bedroom.

Given he’s not facing you anymore, he doesn’t see the way you practically swoon at the sight of him using his strength so casually. Or the way you almost drool at his broad shoulders in the plain white shirt he’d thrown on today, the muscles working in a way that made your hands twitch.

“Did you have a good time? Please tell me that Yeji doesn’t have some embarrassing story again this year,” While your yearly vacations with your friends were mostly for sunbathing and catching up, he knew that you all enjoyed re-enacting some college years and that copious amounts of alcohol were drunk. “And I’m not saying about you, I mean just embarrassing full stop. I’m still feeling secondary embarrassment over two years ago.”

“A story which will forever remain buried, thank you very much. But no, we were good this year. Or rather, we weren’t good but I think we’re starting to get a little too old to be drinking so heavily, you know? We can’t recuperate the same way and I get hangovers way too easily. I do not have the physiology to cope with their drinking levels!” There’s a slight whine to your voice, making him smile in amusement as he moves over to lean against the doorway of your room.

While he was fully welcome into your space, he knew that you liked it to be your own. Especially when you’d been away for a while.

“Well, I mean...you are a lovebird. I don’t think there are many alcohol-tolerant birds out there.” That gets him a subtle glare, your pretty lips puckered into a pout. It’s an innocent action, something that shouldn’t bother him in the slightest, and yet his heart stutters and his stomach twists on itself.

What he wouldn’t give to kiss you.

Shaking his head, he tries to force the thoughts out of his mind. Honestly, he was perfectly fine when he was away from you. But when you were around, it was like you were all he could think about. Still, it was hard not to when you looked at him so fondly.

“True. There’s no need to point that out though. Salt in the wound much? Anyway, it was fun. They kept trying to get me to swim in the sea but like...no thank you. Water is for drinking and washing, not for swimming around in.” You’re crouched down, unzipping your suitcase and pulling out the dirty clothes before separating them into the individual bins you have.

Unlike Taehyung, who simply separated his clothes when it came time to wash them, you were very tidy and had bought fancy clothes hamper with three sections. This was probably why Taehyung would accidentally end up with a shrunken shirt or pink underwear from time to time. You paid far more attention to that stuff.

“Swimming is fun though.” Is all he responds with, standing back when you carry the laundry hampers past him. Putting the colours into the washing machine, he watches quietly as you add everything before turning it on. It was fascinating how you’d only been home for less than ten minutes and yet you were already cleaning things up.

Not that he’d made the apartment untidy or anything. It’s just you had a different idea of what was clean to him.

“Okay but, you can say that because you’ve got those shoulders to cut through the water. Not to mention you’re strong anyway. Not so fun for the rest of us. And I don’t mind swimming in a pool. Where I can see the bottom and the size is posted. The ocean though? That’s huge. No thanks.” Smirking, he flops down onto the couch and sighs happily when you push him up before sitting down yourself, letting him rest his head on your thighs.

There was no convincing you though and Tae gave up on the argument pretty quickly, not that he was trying too hard. One thing he’d learnt long ago was that you were perhaps the most stubborn person he’d ever known. It was an endearing trait, most of the time.

“Did you audition for that role?” Your question is innocent, soft fingers trailing through his hair that would have him purring if he was a cat hybrid. Instead, it was just making him get the urge to groom you in turn, his fingers twitching with the need. Ignoring it, he forced himself to just enjoy the touch.

“Yeah. Not sure if I’ve got it though. I got the feeling they weren’t looking for someone like me in the role.” It wasn’t surprising really and he wasn’t offended by the producers of the film he’d gone for. Even porn wanted specific people for specific roles sometimes; it would be silly to think he could get every role he went for.

Not to mention exhausting.

“Well, they’re missing out then,” You say, scratching his scalp until he hums in delight. “Anyone who doesn’t want you is missing out.”

Your words make his heart jump, his breath stuttering as he inhales and wonders if there’s a double meaning to that. But you’re too busy watching the show that you’ve started on Netflix to notice Taehyung’s existential dilemma. Part of him is glad, but there’s another part that wishes he was brave enough to bring it up.

He chooses not to engage with it though, instead just sighing and letting himself relax into the cushions of the couch. It’s nice to be surrounded by your scent once more and to feel your warmth.

“I appreciate that, Chirp. But I’m not letting it get me down. Sometimes they just can’t handle all this.” Gesturing half-heartedly to his body, he’s pleased to hear you laugh at his joke. The sound is sweet, even if the two of you lapse into a comfortable silence after that.

You’re too busy watching your show while he’s half dozing off, eyes closed and breath getting deeper as he starts to drift away. It’s comfortable on the couch, with the temperature just right and his body perfectly relaxed. Which means it’s unsurprising that he falls asleep pretty quickly, completely unaware of anything that’s happening around him as he sleeps.

Taehyung is more than a little disoriented when he finally awakens; the room dark and silent with the lights and television switched off. Frowning, he blinks rapidly before rubbing at his eyes with a hand while sitting up. Stretching his arms out above his head, the groan he lets out is one of relief as stiff muscles relax and a few bones crack.

Reaching out to the coffee table blindly, he grabs his phone and winces when the bright light almost blinds him. Unfortunately, he hadn’t been hugely blessed with the better night sight horses had. Well, he could see better than humans but nothing amazing. Didn’t make it any better when he was subjected to bright light suddenly though.

“Ah, fuck.” He curses, squinting until he can finally focus on the screen. It’s not too late, but it’s a good two hours or so since you’d finally gotten home. Frowning, he just sits there for a moment as his mind finally catches up with the fact he is awake.

Yawning loudly, he finally pulls himself up and decides he should probably go shower before collapsing into bed. Taehyung hadn’t even realised he was tired, but it could have been the comfort of knowing you were back and safe. It wasn’t like he was some over-protective asshole who needed to know your every movement - more that he just felt more content when he knew you were okay.

Walking to his room, he’s scratching at his exposed stomach lazily when he hears the sound of your voice. The door leading to your bedroom is firmly closed but there’s light at the gap on the bottom. His enhanced hearing means that he can easily hear everything you’re saying, which is nothing new.

Over the years though, he’s learnt to carefully block out anything you’re saying when you’re in your room. You deserved your privacy, even if he couldn’t help the fact that he could hear everything perfectly.

And that would have been exactly what he would have done right now. Just carried on through to his bedroom and continued with his plans. Only he can’t help but stop when he hears the familiar syllables of his name. Taehyung knows it’s wrong, but the way you said it is different than normal.

He can’t help but listen, expression curious and his head tilting without even realising it. Your conversation is one-sided but he pays careful attention, still in the middle of the hallway.

“-you know Taehyung, he’s always being attentive and sweet. It’s just his nature, he’s like that with everyone. Yuna...it’s just Tae. He hugs everyone, you’re looking too much into it,” There’s a longer pause now, presumably your best friend talking extensively to you. “Come on, isn’t that what you always tell me? We haven’t seen each other in a while, it’s not surprising he got all touchy.”

Taehyung frowns, lips twisting as he begins to understand a little. Or at least, he thinks he does. If he’s right, Yuna thinks that he likes you. His cheeks heat up as he realises how obvious he’d been with his feelings, even though you make a good argument against it. But you’re wrong and Yuna is very much right.

He does like you, and he’s not quite as touchy-feely with everyone else. Taehyung isn’t even sure how you got that opinion. The only other person he’s remotely as affectionate with is Jimin, and that’s only because he’s known the calico cat hybrid since they were babies. Tae’s mom had worked with Jimin’s mom for decades now, which meant they’d grown up with each other.

“Yuna,” Your whining now, voice going high pitched and your words getting longer. “I thought you were the one who was telling me that I need to get over Tae! And now you’re telling me he’s obviously into me? Make up your mind, woman! Do you want me to ignore my feelings for him or consider telling him? And no, you can’t backtrack in a week or so like you always do. This is serious. I’d be humiliating myself by telling him.”

It’s almost like the world has paused around Taehyung. For a second, he almost feels dizzy and has to rest a palm against the wall as he sways. Your feelings...for him? Did he hear that right? Was he twisting your words into what he hoped you were implying?

Before he can contemplate it anymore in his mind, you go on to say something that shatters the norm for Taehyung.

“It would be humiliating Yuna, you know that. You know what I am, we’ve talked about this. God, I can’t tell Taehyung I love him because then that’s it, I’ve sealed my fate and I won’t be able to get over him. It’s already hard just trying. Having him know? I can’t, not when he can’t give me what I want.” There’s a pain in your voice and his heart twists, stomach bubbling in a way that almost makes him want to vomit as his world changes.

You love him. You. Love. Him.

“It’s not his fault Yuna, we’ve gone through this so many times. I have my instincts and he has his, I’m not going to get angry at something we can’t change. Please...can we just talk about something else? Something that’s not going to make me cry and spend all night thinking? We agreed that we’d try to get me over this, dammit.”

That’s the last thing Taehyung hears as he walks quickly back to his room, having decided that he’s heard far too much of a conversation he clearly shouldn’t have heard. Guilt roils in him, flooding his veins as he flops down onto his bed and stares at the white ceiling of his room. He feels dazed and confused, not sure what he’s meant to think about this sudden change in events.

Taehyung being in love with you was something he’d long ago accepted. But he’d also accepted that nothing would happen from it because of what you wanted in life. Finding out that you wanted him too was game-changing. It was also heartbreaking to know that the only reason you both weren’t together already was because of his instincts.

Suddenly, he sees his career in a whole new light. What was a coping mechanism for him to reduce his innate desires and allow him to give you all the best bits of himself, was probably pure pain for you. The knowledge that you loved him was both exciting and, surprisingly, horrifying.

He knew that love birds would only have one partner, and from what he’d read over the years it meant they only really truly loved one person. If you felt this strongly for Taehyung then did that mean he’d stolen any other choices from you? He’d been holding back to make sure you had a chance to be happy but had he just made it worse?

Swallowing thickly, Taehyung realises there are tears in his eyes as he wonders if he’s ruined everything. The logical part of his mind knows that it’s not his fault if you’ve fallen in love with him, just like it wasn’t your fault he’d fallen for you. But he certainly hadn’t done anything to truly push you away, to try and get you to find someone else to fall in love with and enjoy a happy life.

Had he been selfish?

Rolling onto his stomach, he buries his head into his pillow and lets out a yell. It’s a good job your hearing is only on the level of a normal human because he was positive the extended noise he made would have brought you running otherwise. And he needed to think right now.

There’s probably a solid ten minutes of silence in his room as he lays there, unmoving while his mind races through all his options. If he admitted that he’d overheard you, then he would probably embarrass you. Taehyung would jump at the chance to finally date you, but he knew that you wouldn’t be able to cope with his career.

You were supportive of him now, but you weren’t in a romantic relationship with him. And he doubted you would be comfortable with the knowledge that he was coming home to kiss, cuddle and have sex with you after having done the same things with random women earlier in the day.

If he was honest with himself then Taehyung knew that he wouldn’t be happy with that too. Despite how he was raised, his mom had been one of many mares in the herd his father had kept over the years, he wanted to be the one for you. Which meant he wouldn’t be content to do things with other women that you only wanted to be done.

He wanted the traditional relationship that many horse hybrids would wrinkle their nose at.

So, he had to figure out how to navigate that.

Lifting himself, he grabs his phone and opens up Google. Taehyung didn’t know many horse hybrid’s who wanted to have a monogamous relationship, but he had met a few over the years. Racking his brain, he tries to remember what they had talked about when he’d queried how they could cope with only being with one partner for life.

Despite his interest in the topic, he’d been young at the time and had still very much enjoyed sleeping with as many women as he could. His feelings for you hadn’t quite become what they were today, so he hadn’t listened too intently. Taehyung regretted that now. Tapping his lips for a moment, he contemplates what to write before he begins to type his request into the search engine.

Horse hybrid hormone inhibitors.

It’s three weeks later when Taehyung finally feels comfortable and knowledgeable enough to make a move. He’d made an appointment with his doctor the very next day after overhearing your conversation. He specialised in hybrid care, in particular those for equine hybrids like Taehyung along with the rare donkey or zebra.

Which meant he wasn’t all that shocked at Taehyung’s unusual enquiry. He probably got the occasional query from an equine hybrid about how to be monogamous. It was rare but not unheard of after all. What had shocked him though, was the fact that it was Taehyung asking it.

Kim Taehyung, the infamous porn star who had built a living on his ability to fuck his way through multiple women on camera. Who had his damn fanbase based almost purely on his cock for god’s sake? It was embarrassing to think about, but he’d known what he was getting into when he’d signed the contract in the first place.

He wouldn’t lie and say he didn’t enjoy his job because he did. Taehyung hated that he did, but the sex with many women helped to alleviate all those deeply held instincts and urges within him. Still, now that he knew about you he had no intention of carrying on with his career. Not when he had a chance.

Which was why he’d admitted his feelings towards you to the doctor. Something he’d never thought he’d end up doing, but once everything was out in the open then his doctor was far more understanding of Taehyung’s request. Even encouraging of it. Taehyung was pretty sure that he found the whole story a little sweet and romantic.

Either way, they’d worked out a plan for him to make his life easier if you accepted him. Medications that he would need to take to reduce the overwhelming instincts that drive his hybrid nature and would allow him to engage in monogamy. The idea of that was unbelievably exciting and he’d begun to take his medication only days after the appointment.

After that, he’d gotten together with Jimin. Their weekly hangout usually occurred in a bar, a restaurant or sometimes just hanging around one of their apartments. His best friend had shrieked with delight when Taehyung had explained his predicament and what he was doing to go forward with.

Which had led him to finally asking Jimin if that job offer was still on the plate if everything went right. Taehyung wanted to finally pursue his dream of being a fashion designer and it was so tantalisingly close. He was on the verge of finally having the life he’d always wanted. Hopefully with you.

The first week of being on the medication, which reduced the high levels of testosterone he produced and helped to inhibit his base reactions, had been rough as hell. Taehyung had been on the verge of calling in sick for the first time to a shoot, his body struggling to cope with the change in his body. But he’d pushed through and two weeks later, here he was.

Nervous as fuck and waiting for you to finally come home.

Everything all depended on if you’d accept his request to start a relationship. A serious, romantic relationship that was entirely monogamous. If you said yes, then he had a lawyer all set up to break his contract and a contract just waiting for him with Jimin.

Although really, he’d be quitting his job no matter what happened. He was tired of the porn scene, even if he’d met some wonderfully kind and talented people there. Taehyung had finally decided that he would be moving on with his life and accepting the job with Jimin.

It was up to you whether you wanted to be alongside him, and in what capacity.

The pizza he’d ordered for you both arrived at the same time you came home; a large box of vegetable pizza held in your hands and amusement in your pretty eyes. It makes him smile brightly to see you happy, knowing that you’re pleased he’d taken care of dinner tonight. Especially as it was from your favourite pizzeria; six different kinds of cheeses combined with peppers, onions, eggplant, tomatoes and spinach.

Your favourite kind of pizza, alongside a bottle of red wine that he’d already filled a glass with to let it breathe. The amusement soon turns to suspicion, your brow rising as you kick off your shoes and shrug off your coat.

“What’s all this about?” Gesturing at everything, you settle onto the couch next to him with your legs curled up beneath you. Taehyung bites his lip, sighing softly before reaching out and opening up the box. He doesn’t explain for a few minutes, just letting you both eat a slice of pizza while he watches his beer on the table.

He felt like a teenager, his stomach fizzing with a combination of excitement and nerves that almost makes him feel nauseous. Maybe he shouldn’t be eating right now, but he hasn’t been able to eat all day so far. There would be no use in making himself ill. It would be mortifying for him to throw up all over you.

By the time you’ve eaten two slices, Taehyung has only managed one. But he’s decided that he’s waited long enough. It’s time.

Taking in a deep breath, he lets it out slowly before clearing his throat. After so many years of being friends, he knows that he can talk to you about anything. There are many memories that he’d much rather forget that you’d seen of him, such as that awkward time when he’d had an upset stomach and hadn’t been able to get to the bathroom quick enough.

Not his finest moment and you’d gagged more than once but hey, it was all a bonding experience. Right? Or was that just his opinion on it?

Still, Taehyung found himself pausing; his words sticking in his throat even as he mentally told himself to pull it together. You’d seen all his low points and his highpoints, he did not doubt that you would treat his question with the respect it deserves. But it was still a worry that you might turn him down.

Maybe you’d finally found someone else and wouldn’t want him anymore. The thought made his chest hurt, but he had to know. He had to get the answer to the question that had burned in his thoughts for years now. If you rejected him then he’d be hurt but he’d get over it, especially if it meant you found your happiness.

So why was it so hard to get the words out?

“Hey, are you okay?” Your shoulder bumps into his, pretty face dipping low to catch his eyes. He should have known that you would have realised there was something wrong, or that he wasn’t quite being himself. The way you look at him with such worry and concern makes his anxiety melt away, causing him to smile before he nods.

“I have something to ask you. I mean...you can say no. Please don’t worry about that, if you don’t want to then tell me no. I’ll accept it, I promise. You know I’d never try to force you, right?” He winces, realising that he’s messing this up already given the way your brow creases in confusion. “I mean, god I’m fucking this up. I’m sorry. I just...I have to be honest with you. I accidentally overheard your conversation the other month. I didn’t mean to, it was when you’d come home after your vacation and I’d fallen asleep so I was going back to my room and I overheard you.”

Taehyung is babbling, and he realises that when you gently press a finger to his lips. It would be nice to say that you didn’t look bothered, but there was fear on your face that made him feel sick.

“I believe you.”

Your words are so soft and he almost hums in delight as you run your fingers through his hair, grooming him without even realising. It makes him smile, both at your steadfast belief in him and how you always want to be touching and cleaning him in some way. His fingers itched with the desire to groom you in turn.

He restrained himself, fully aware that if he did then it’d just end up being one half an hour of you both trying to clean each other. The perils of two social hybrids who both have a culture and instinct for grooming. Not what he wanted right now.

The reassurance you give him, combined with the unwavering belief in your eyes, convinces him to just say it. To just get it out and lay his cards on the table. He was nervous, sure, but he’d been nervous many times in his life and he’d overcome all of those moments.

“I heard you say that you like me. In a romantic way. I was really surprised at hearing it, mainly because I didn’t think you’d ever looked at me that way before. Not when I’m the opposite of what you’d want in terms of a relationship. But I want you to know that hearing it made me the happiest I’ve been in a while. Because I like you too. And I have done for a while now. Years.” He says it all with a carefully neutral face, watching you carefully to see if he can gauge your reaction.

For a moment, your expression is a perfect picture in neutrality. The Switzerland of faces, giving nothing away and not letting him see anything that’s going on in your head. It’s frustrating for him when he’s probably feeling too much, but he doesn’t push. Just waits to see what you’ll say.

“What?”

Okay, so perhaps not the eloquent acceptance of his feelings that he’d expected. But it’s not an outright rejection. He can work with this, there’s potential here.

Licking his lips, he takes a deep breath before carefully shifting until he’s facing you on the couch. Your eyes are so wide, shining in the light and making him think it looks like you hold the secrets of the universe deep within. He can’t help but smile at it, at how young and innocent you look.

Smile at the tentative hope he thinks he can spy.

“I like you, Chirp. Like, like you. Probably would use a stronger word if I wasn’t already afraid I’m scaring you away. I know that I’m not what you’d want in a partner, which is why I’ve never made a move over the years. But I’ve always hoped, which is why I never got a herd of my own,

“I love being around you, I love hearing you sing and laugh, I love talking to you, I love hearing you talk to others, I love how you’re so affectionate and always want to groom me along with chatting my ears off. I never said anything though, because most of all, I valued our friendship. And I knew that you wanted someone who could be your life-partner, something I wasn’t sure if I could be.” Taehyung pauses, twisting his lips before looking down at his hands.

“But then I heard you talking and I realised that there might be a possibility. A small one maybe, but I knew I had to at last try. Something I want you to know though is that everything I’m about to tell you that I’ve done has been done for myself because I finally realised that I have to move forward with my life. So, firstly, I talked to my doctor and I’ve started some medication that helps to inhibit my instincts when it comes to relationships and sex.” Pausing, he eyes you to gauge how you’re taking the news.

The head tilt you give is very birdlike, causing him to chuckle without even meaning to. He can’t help it though, not when you look so sweet right then with your bright hair and big eyes.

“I don’t have the urge to have sex with lots of women or make my herd anymore. We talked about it extensively and decided this would be my best course of action to allow me to have a healthy, monogamous relationship. Because of that, I’ve also quit my job and taken up the offer Jimin’s been giving me for years now.”

Despite the fact he’s mid-confession to you, the excitement in his stomach at that very moment is more to do with the fact he was going to finally have his dream career. That he was going to be doing a job which he’d been wanting to accept for years.

Understandably, his words cause you to suddenly gasp in delight before you’re clapping your hands eagerly. The excitement and happiness are purely for him finally taking proper control of his life, ridding himself of the pornography career that he’d enjoyed but hadn’t loved. Something you’d known for a while now.

“Oh my god? You’re going to work with Jimin?! You took the job! TaeTae, I’m so happy for you!” Even though he’d just admitted to you that he was near enough in love with you, your emotions were purely focused on the fact he’d taken the job. Feeling your approval and genuine joy at his life change, he can’t help but give you a wide, boxy grin even while the apples of his cheeks turn a soft rose.

“Thanks, I think Jimin was more excited than anyone to be honest. Pretty sure he’s already organising a design space for me in his building alongside an office. Makes me feel kind of bad for waiting so long to take him up on it but I feel like I’m finally at a place in my life that I’m truly ready for that career change.” That seems to remind you of what he’d told you earlier, about his medication.

Your elated expression slowly fades and he watches in trepidation as your brow creased, the mood dimming. Were you unhappy with his choice? Taking a deep breath, he holds it for a moment before letting it out slowly.

“I want you to know that there is no pressure on you. For anything. I’m going to continue taking this medication because I want to focus on my new career without having to worry about any urges taking over. The side benefit to it means that...well,” He pauses for a moment. “I can have a proper relationship. Or at least, the kind of relationship that you’d want. If you want that. With me.”

There’s complete silence in the room and Taehyung feels the sudden urge to grab another slice of pizza and start eating. Just for something to do with his hands and to distract himself.

He doesn’t push though, just lets you process what he’s told you. It was a lot, so he wasn’t even particularly expecting an answer tonight. If he were being honest, then he wouldn’t be surprised if you took yourself off to your room for the night. Or even went to one of your friends to talk it over with them.

But as usual, you surprise him. You may be small and dainty compared to him, light as a feather and full of cheer, but your personality has always been big and bold. Which is why you tackle the topic head-on.

“I didn’t mean for you to hear, you know that right?” Is your first question and Taehyung nods quickly, reaching out to encompass your much smaller hand with his own. There’s nothing too familiar about the gesture, just a squeeze of reassurance to let you know he understands and isn’t mad or anything.

“I know. It was entirely my fault. I should’ve carried on as soon as I heard that you were talking but I just heard my name and...well.” He trails off, giving an awkward smile that causes you to smile in return. The gentle pressure on his hand makes him realise that you’re now trying to assuage his fears that you were annoyed.

“Hey, it’s okay. You may not have too many physical features of your animal side but you’ve got plenty of their abilities. We both know that you can’t control the fact that you can hear much better, so I don’t blame you. Nor do I blame you for stopping to listen. Especially when you realised what I was talking about,” Now it’s your turn to look abashed, gaze skittering away from his and down to your still joined hands. “I’d have done the same thing if I heard you talking about me.”

Swallowing, Taehyung wonders how he’s meant to respond to that. He didn’t know what he’d say anyway as his stomach feels like it’s full of butterflies suddenly. Really big, horrible butterflies that are making him feel nauseous.

“So yeah, I’m not angry or annoyed over that. Please don’t worry too much. If anything...I’m kind of glad. Because it means you’ve confronted this head-on and now we both know how we feel about each other. Which is that we like each other. A lot. In case it wasn’t clear, I like you too. Really like you. But I also thought it wouldn’t work because I know what I want and need from my partner in my life and I knew that your instincts clashed with that. Again, not your fault. You can’t deny nature and I tried to make sure that you never felt like I was.” There’s a hint of something in your voice but Taehyung can’t figure it out.

Pain? Embarrassment? Worry?

Whatever it is, he doesn’t get a chance to query it because you forge on. The sweet lovebird he’d known for years seems to be wavering between shyness at talking about your feelings and determination to have everything laid out.

He can understand the feeling.

“You know, I’ve fantasised about this for years, but now that it’s happening-”

“You don’t know how to communicate what you’re feeling and it’s all way more awkward and not nearly as romantic or sexy as you’d imagined?” Taehyung finishes for you, biting his lip as he grins broadly. You snort in amusement before nodding, playing with his fingers for a minute or so as you try to rationalise it all in your head.

“Did you go on whatever that medication is...for me? Like...because you wanted a relationship? With me? I know you’ve said it’s also because you wanted a career doing something you’ve always wanted but…” Trailing off, you can’t seem to look him in the eyes.

Carefully, he uses his free hand to lift your chin until he can see you. There’s a brief moment where you try to avoid his gaze before you give in, staring back just as deeply. Nerves, fear and hope are warring within him and he imagines that he can see it reflected in your own eyes.

“I’m not going to say no because overhearing your conversation was what spurred me to talk to my doctor. Finding out that you liked me back and that I might have a chance with you made me want to try to make sure you get the best of me. I knew that there are horse hybrids out there who have monogamous relationships and who are happy, but I didn’t think that would be a possibility for me. And given what I was doing for my career, I thought it was just better to carry on as I was,

“But then when I was talking to him about it all, I realised that it would help me in other aspects of my life too. Yes, I could finally offer you the kind of relationship that you want and that I want to have with you, but it would also let me leave behind the porn and start focusing on what I want to do. You know that I’ve never really been one of those stallions who wants a herd and the porn helped me to get rid of those urges without giving in to them properly. I looked into it for you, but I took it for me.” Licking his lips, Taehyung realises that he feels lighter.

Like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders and he realises it’s because of what he’d told you. He’d been convinced that he was doing this to have a chance with you in the way he’d always dreamed of, but it was startling to realise that it was having such a positive effect in the rest of his life. For once, he was no slave to his instincts and had full control over himself, his emotions and his desires.

Just the thought of never having to do another film filled him with joy and happiness.

“Good. I wouldn’t want you to have changed yourself for me. But given that you have...what does it mean? Tell me.” Those pretty eyes, so big and wide, watch him intently and he gives a small half-smile as he shrugs with one shoulder.

“I mean...it’s basically like an inhibitor I guess? Reduces the amount of testosterone I produce, makes me less reactive to the scent of mares in heat and all that. There’s a whole bunch of medical stuff that I don’t understand but I just know what the doctor told me. It’s safe, it’s been tested many times before, and if things don’t work out, then I can come off them and be back to my old self. It just means that I won’t have the desire to have a herd or to...well sleep with multiple women, you know? Let’s be monogamous, a one-woman man. Finally.” Chuckling to himself, he runs his fingers through his pale hair so it’s out of his eyes.

“So...we could be together? Like...in a relationship? Just me and you?”

“Yeah. The doctor said that as long as I’m on the medication then I’ll be like any other human or hybrid who doesn’t have a poly instinct. Not that there’s anything wrong with that obviously, but it means we can be together. In the future, if you want to be in a relationship or something...then if we decide to have kids or to not have them, I can get gelded and that’ll get rid of the instincts permanently.” Now your eyes widen in horror, hand covering your mouth as you gasp loudly.

“Gelded? They’d castrate you?” There’s a glance down from his face to his groin from you and he can’t help but laugh at the thought. Even if it does make him want to cup his balls protectively.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay! It’s okay! It’s just a vasectomy. Because I’m a stallion, it’s called being gelded. After that, I’d be officially known as a gelding. No longer able to have babies and with no real instinct to make my herd anymore.” Thankfully you look relieved at that and he wants to tease you about being so worried about his testicles. But instead, he just feels happy that you don’t tease him in turn about talking about potential babies already.

That’s a good sign.

“Okay. Okay...so, let’s think about this logically. I mean, is that being too cold? You admit that you like me back and you’re on medication to allow us to be in a relationship and I’m saying we need to think logically?” Taehyung pauses you with a finger to your lips, a smile on his own before he carefully wraps his arms around your shoulders.

He makes sure to give you plenty of time to make sure that you can pull away if you want to if you’re not comfortable with this, but you don’t. Instead, you almost seem to relax into him and link your arms around his waist. You can probably feel his heart beating through his chest, the muscle working extra hard while he feels a little breathless.

It’s not the first time he’s held you, but it feels different this time. There’s something more intimate about it and he can’t help but take a deep breath in, enjoying your scent.

“It’s fine. I’m kind of glad because I’ve made a complete mess of explaining myself here. So at least one of us can think more logically about it.”

“You didn’t do a terrible job. I mean...I’m certainly not going to vote for you or anything but it wasn’t bad. My question to you then...are we dating now?” And just like that, Taehyung’s breath is taken away. To the point, he almost chokes on his spit and ends up having a coughing fit.

Directly into your face, ruining any hint of romance.

Yep, he’d truly fucked this confession up. Taehyung was just lucky that you’d known him for so long that it just made your nose wrinkle as you wiped at your face with your shirt, grumbling lightly before pushing his shoulder.

“Gross.”

“Sorry! I wasn’t expecting that though! I mean, you just straight up asked. I was expecting like...more talking and exchanging feelings. More awkwardness.” Leaning away from him, you give him a very droll stare that makes him wince. Well, at least it was awkward now.

“Sorry for not living up to those weird expectations I guess? I just figure that we’ve spent long enough dancing around each other, right? I don’t want to waste any more time or have any more miscommunication so if it’s too abrupt for you then I’m still not sorry. I like you, Kim Taehyung. And given what you’ve told me, and what you’ve done for me, I want to finally have that relationship I’ve been wanting for so many years.” The authoritative tone in your voice is more attractive than he’d expected, causing his brow to rise.

Feisty.

“Okay. Yes. Yes, we’re dating. Together. We’re together. Boyfriend and girlfriend. I need to shut up.” Clamming up, he forces his mouth to shut and for his muscles to remain still. In reality, he wants to jump for joy and scream out that this was happening. Even if part of him is embarrassed that he’s incapable of talking now.

It’s all worth it though when you give him a huge smile, so big and bright and full of happiness.

“You’re cute, you know that?” Now he’s blushing; cheeks high and a delightful rose as he tries to contain his smile. He’s supposed to be cool, the epitome of an educated man who is extremely experienced around women. And yet here he is, acting like a teenager getting his first girlfriend.

“Not what I normally get called.” You’re the one who looks a little shy at that, your eyes darting away from his as you bite at your lip. There’s a hint of nerves to you now and something else, something he can’t quite figure out. The way you wiggle slightly in place has him frowning in confusion, wondering what’s made you suddenly so quiet. This was the behaviour he’d been expecting from you, so it felt a relief to finally get it but also strange given how confident you’d been.

“What’s wrong? Where’s my bold girlfriend gone?” Gently poking your waist, he tries to ignore the thrill that rises inside him when he calls you that. It was going to take some time to get used to it.

Thankfully, it also manages to breakthrough whatever shell you’d suddenly formed around yourself. Grasping his hand with your own, you let out a soft whine as he continues to prod at you and he quickly intertwines his fingers with your own. For a moment, he’s too busy staring down at your hand in amused awe to remember what he’d asked you.

“Your hand is tiny, you know that?”

“No, you just have huge hands. All of you is huge, just like all of me is small. The difference between a horse and a lovebird.” Now it’s your turn to push at his stomach, a small smile on your face. Taehyung grins at that, but he grins, even more, when he catches your eyes flicking down to his lap.

It all clicked into place in his head, from the way you got shy at him saying he’s not normally called cute to the way you call him huge. You’re not wrong; Taehyung is massive when compared to you. Denser bones add to it at all, allowing him to lift and move heavy weights with ease whereas you’d developed a lighter bone structure that was more reminiscent of birds.

Taehyung had never broken a bone before, whereas you had to be careful doing certain things. But the size difference between you both was made even more obvious when he thought about sex. He was bigger than most human and hybrid males down below, and he wondered if there was something wrong with him that the knowledge you knew that turned him on.

Not that you’d ever seen him naked or anything, but you weren’t stupid. He was infamous in the porn industry for a reason.

Which suddenly made him consider something, his head tilting slightly as he narrowed his eyes at you.

“Have you ever watched my stuff? Like my films or anything? I know for a fact that some of them are on those free porn sites.” Biting his lip, he watches closely for any positive sign. One of the benefits of being a horse hybrid was that he was highly attuned to microexpressions in others.

Originally meant to watch out for danger and keep himself safe, it was more useful for getting an idea of where a conversation was going. It also made Taehyung feel very stupid that he’d never noticed you were in love with him before.

He doesn’t need to have any extra abilities to read your face right now though, not with how you look almost like you wish the floor would swallow you whole. You can’t even meet his eyes and it delights him.

“You have!”

“No! I wouldn’t do that, you’re my best friend. That’d be weird.” Taehyung can sense the distress in your voice and he forces himself to tone down. He had no issues with the idea of you watching his stuff; if anything it was a turn on. But this relationship was so new that it had barely been born and he didn’t want to push your boundaries just yet.

Still, he felt like he had a right to know.

“Hey, listen to me, it wouldn’t bother me if you did. I actually would find it a turn on to know you’ve watched me. I hope you weren’t upset though, I only did all of that to satisfy my instincts so that I could enjoy my time with you. But I made those films and videos for people to enjoy. If you got off to some of them that I’d consider it a job well done. Don’t feel embarrassed if you did.” Using his free hand, he lets his fingers trail along your cheek. It’s warm beneath his touch, the blood rushing in response to your tumultuous emotions and he reassuringly runs his thumb across it.

“You’re...you’re not bothered by the idea of that?”

Taehyung chuckles at your disbelief and shrugs genially, making sure to portray an aura of calm and serenity. The only thing that bothered him about the idea of you watching his videos was that he was already sporting a semi at the very thought of his supposed ‘innocent’ best friend watching him railing some mare.

Which should be a terrible thought, but it just meant that he was all the more experienced for you. There would be no doubt in his mind that he could show you a world of pleasure that you’d never even imagined; as pompous and egotistic as that sounded.

Sex was his area of expertise though.

“I mean...I knew it was a risk when I started. I make porn. Porn is available freely on the internet and I fully expected some of my friends to be at least a little curious. Plus, there’s the whole ‘horse hybrid’ thing going on. I don’t tend to get embarrassed easily around sex. If anything, it’s kinda exciting knowing that you’ve seen some.” You’re giving him a look of pure confusion and he can’t help but laugh heartily.

Oh, he loves you. He loves how befuddled you are at his refusal to adhere to your expectations. Given how reserved you were normally about sex and relationships, it was delightful to shatter your illusions surrounding him and make your perusal of his work sound like a benefit rather than something to be ashamed of.

“So...what did you think? You’ve never given me a rating before, so I’m curious.” Once more, your eyes dart away from his and he has to stifle a snort at how you suddenly find the wall so interesting. The artwork on there was nice, he’d picked it out himself, but it wasn’t that nice.

He doesn’t push though. What he wants is for this relationship to start on trust and honesty. So if you want to trust him enough to be honest about your opinion then he’d accept that. If it was still too early for you; he’d accept that too.

“It was good. I mean, I haven’t watched much. It was years ago and only a few minutes before I felt weird. Like I was spying on you. That’s it though! I swear I haven’t seen anything else. It felt like I was...perving on you or something.” Grasping at his hands desperately, you give him such big eyes that try to get across your honesty.

It makes his lips quirk in amusement and he links your fingers together once more, squeezing lightly. For a few moments, he considers how to respond to you before deciding to just go for it. Which means he slowly leans forward to you, eyes flicking down to your lips and giving you plenty of chances to pull away and leave.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s a little bit of a relief, knowing you’ve seen at least something. But most importantly...can I kiss you?” Taehyung swears you deflate, your entire body seeming to relax with a deep breath you let out.

He’d be worried if it wasn’t for the huge grin that you have painted on your face now, the delight making your skin almost glow with health and happiness. It’s a beautiful look and he feels like he’s enraptured once more, falling in love with you all over again. At least now he has an outlet for these mushy feelings.

“Finally!”

There’s only time for Taehyung’s eyes to widen in shock before you’re shaking your hands free of his own and grasping at his shirt. With a surprising amount of strength, you jerk him forwards and his lips crash against your own. That’s the only way to describe it, as it kinda hurts. His lips mashed against his teeth a little and his nose bumps against yours, causing him to whine.

You let him go almost immediately, looking intensely embarrassed as you rub at your mouth and nose. He does the same, making sure that there’s nothing wrong with his beloved nose while licking at his lips to soothe the dull ache. But then he can’t help but laugh, the sound bright and rumbling up from his chest as he contemplates what just happened.

Every time that he thought you would zig, you instead zagged. Over the years, he’d learnt to go with the flow with you in regards to this with his friendship but for some reason, he’d never quite realised that it would be much the same with a romantic relationship. You defied his expectations and made him feel like he was constantly on his toes.

He loved it, including when almost headbutted him with your first kiss.

“I am so sorry-” You start, your eyes wide and worry emanating from you. He shakes his head, trying to stifle his amusement before reaching out and cupping your face with a gentle touch.

“Okay, how about we try this again but...a little slower this time, yeah?” Keeping your face steady, he inches forward until he can feel your warm breath on his cheek. You’ve already closed your eyes in anticipation and he has to squash the desire to grin, instead fulfilling both of your wishes by pressing his lips against your own.

It’s a soft and gentle kiss at first, exploratory and uncertain. Neither of you knows how to kiss the other properly, or what the other likes, and so you both simply...take your time. Taehyung’s thumb strokes along with the softness of your cheek while your hands flatten against his chest, palms hot where they rest.

He’s kissed a lot of women in his life; some he’s proud of, some he’s not and some he doesn’t even care about. But this is the best kiss so far. Even as slow and unsure as it is, it’s still the best.

Because it’s you.

There’s more than a hint of inexperience in your kiss and it doesn’t surprise him. He knows that you’ve at least kissed a few people before, but you didn’t have a huge amount of experience in it. Instead, it’s just enough that he feels comfortable but not enough to have you take the lead.

So he does, instead. And given how bold you’d been earlier, he takes the initiative to be bold this time as well.

With almost minimal strength required on his behalf, he slips his hands down to your hips and grips them tightly, lifting and depositing you onto his lap without breaking the kiss. He doesn’t even make a noise as he does so, your weight nothing to him.

His ancestors had been bred for heavy lifting and pulling, after all.

What he doesn’t anticipate though, is the way you moan into his mouth or how you wiggle slightly at his action. Pulling from you, one brow lifts as he looks you over inquisitively. His question is silent, but you understand it immediately. There’s nowhere for you to look now, not when you’re so close to him.

So you stare at his chin instead, carefully avoiding his eyes as your hands move to play with his soft hair. The blonde strands are almost golden instead of platinum in the soft light of the nearby lamp, just visible in his vision from where you stroke them.

“I forget how strong you are sometimes.” The words are muttered and he gets the impression that you’re hoping he doesn’t hear. And that he won’t query it further. But he does, of course, he does.

“Do you have a strength kink, Chirp?”

“Wha-no! That’s, why would I-” Spluttering, you lean back a little and take a moment to shuffle until you’re more comfortable on his lap. Your legs are on either side of his now, comfortable in their almost kneeling position but most of your weight is on his legs. He takes the opportunity to wrap his arms around your waist and tug you closer, enjoying the warmth you give him.

“It’s cool if you do. I can fulfil that. Not yet though, if that’s okay. But I need you to know something right now. I don’t want us to have sex right now. Not yet. Since being a teenager, I’ve been obsessed with sex. An unfortunate side effect of being a stallion. For the first time in my adult life...I don’t feel an insatiable need for it. And it’s kinda nice. I don’t want us to start our relationship with sex. I want us to explore each other and our relationship first and then introduce sex. I need to learn that sex is something intimate and between only us now. I’ve spent too long viewing it as work.” He tries to make sure that his words are carefully said and that he’s not rushing them, but now he’s the one a little nervous.

You’d been far bolder than he’d ever expected and now he was worried that you might expect sex from him immediately. It was an easy, even acceptable, assumption to make given what he was and his career. But he didn’t want that. As he’d said, he wanted to start this relationship with love and trust.

Lust could come later.

There’s no answer from you for a moment and he sighs, letting his hands awkwardly stroke at your sides in an attempt to give them something to do.

“I’m sorry if that’s not what you were expecting. Or not what you wanted. I’m a little surprised you’ve been so forward with me and-” A soft fingertip presses against his lips, causing him to quieten instantly.

Smiling softly, you lean forward and kiss him. It’s just as chaste as the one previously, only you’ve controlled yourself a little more compared to your first attempt. He takes solace in it though and now his body is the one deflating. There’s a silent acceptance in that kiss.

When you finally pull away from him, he finds himself chasing after you. It’s an odd sensation for him to do that without any intention of going further but he finds that he likes it. There’s no doubt that you can feel what’s going on in his pants; he can’t control everything after all but just because his body is saying yes doesn’t mean his mind is.

And you accept that. He can tell instantly, from the reassuring smile you give him and how you embrace him so warmly and carefully.

“It’s okay, Tae. I’ll admit to being a little disappointed but I can understand your reasoning behind it. And I’m not going to force you to do something you don’t want to. I know you’d do the same for me. I guess it’s just going to make it better when we finally do get to it, right?” Teasing him, you stick your tongue out and poke at his cheek.

Almost immediately, his nose wrinkles and your laugh lightly. For a moment, the sounds are almost like chirping and he can see your lovebird origins so clearly. That was to say nothing of the fact that you were now subconsciously grooming his hair, fingertips running through the platinum strands and getting rid of any unfortunate kinks or knots.

“Thank you.” He whispers, letting his hands wrap around your waist until he’s hugging you. It takes minimal effort to have you plastered against him, head resting on his shoulder as he embraces you so tightly. You smell heavenly, and he wonders what he did to be given the chance to be with you after so many years.

“Can we go on a date though? I mean...like now?” Tilting his head back, he frowns before looking at the table and the pizza boxes.

“What? Where? We’ve already eaten?”

“Okay, but I’m kinda horny and you’re kinda horny and I think we both need to talk a walk and cool down. So...how about we have our first date? I’ve been waiting a while for this, Kim Taehyung.” Your smile is so big and bright, dazzling him and making his stomach flutter.

He doesn’t even realise he’s nodding until you practically launch yourself from his lap, rushing over to the door and chattering away. If he was being honest, he had no idea what you were talking about as you quickly pulled your shoes on and sorted out your bag.

Taehyung didn’t even care, because he’d done it. He had the girl he’d been in love with for years, who he’d been certain he had no chance with. You could regale him with a thousand and one tales and he’d listen to them all with a content smile because he was yours, and you were his.

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druigswhores · 3 years

Text

you’re alive in my head

summary: in which natasha no longer had to live in a world without you, there you were in her arms once again. but why can’t she remember your life before westview?

content warning: natasha romanoff x fem!reader, set after endgame, angst, mentions of death, trauma, their relationship ending on a bad note, trust issues & previous steve x nat, there is some hints to homophobia in this chapter :/ (WANDAVISION SPOILERS!)

note: sorry this chapter was late!! it’s 3.3k words and i got my friend to spell check and edit it, ty ashy ily <33

REQUESTS ARE OPEN! (lmk if you want anymore content like this!)

‘моя любовь’ = ‘my love’ in russian <3

‘принцесса’ = ‘princess’ (i used google translate so idk how accurate it is

SERIES MASTERLIST

PART THREE COMING SOON

Death.

It's a complicated thing; A theory.

Nobody knows what happens to you after you die. Nobody knows what happens to your soul after you die. We make things up to make ourselves feel better, and convince ourselves that our deceased loved ones are watching over us, all the while convincing others that our loved ones are in a better place now.

But in reality, those are just dreams dying to be true.

Natasha didn't know if you were dead or alive. She just knew your body turned into particles of dust, your soul disappeared along with the rest of you. She didn't want to believe that you were truly gone, so she spoke to you.

She spoke to you, thinking you were listening to her; believing you were listening to her and that you were still around.

It was almost as if she was speaking to your ghost, the mere presence of you that remained with her, the piece of you that was a part of her. It felt wrong being in the compound without you, she felt as though she was trapped; trapped with the many reminders of how she failed you. The walls were suffocating her. Every time she thought about what had happened it felt as though the rooms were becoming smaller. The large 'A' plastered around the compound taunting her, reminding her of what they lost. Of what she lost.

So she had to get away.

Natasha found herself taking trips to the beach, the one the two of you adored oh so much. She'd walk along the sand, the harsh wind blowing against her face. The air smelled of salt, and she'd take a deep breath in with a smile. She'd reminisce all the times the two of you managed to get away from the compound, how effortlessly gorgeous you'd look with the breeze blowing through your hair, your laughter sounding like a melody that Natasha now longed to hear once more.

If she stood really still, she could, once more, feel the warmth of your fingers dragging against her skin, gently tracing shapes onto her body. Her heart would ache whenever she'd turn to the side, finding that nobody was beside her.

She had to get used to living in a world without you.

"моя любовь..." She sighed, fumbling with a stone she'd picked up, before swinging her arm and throwing it into the rippling water. The temperature was dropping. Christmas coming closer and closer every day. Natasha wrapped her coat tighter around her body, staring at the waves in front of her, observing the way they'd hit the shore before pulling back into the ocean. In the distance, she could see boats, and although they were far away, she noticed how the water carried them; the movement of the ocean pushing the boat into the direction of the wind. "No sailors.." Natasha realized, her eyes following a lifeguard boat making its way to the empty boats, likely checking for any survivors.

Yet another reminder of how the Avengers had failed.

It's only been a couple of months since the battle yet the traces of you continued to fade away. The sweater that was once yours now clung to Natasha's body as she made her way back home.

She'd do anything to bring you back. She'd do anything to have you in her arms again, complaining about something you'd undoubtedly forget hours later. She missed the way you'd never share your snacks with anyone but her. The feeling of warmth that would blossom inside her when your eyes met in a crowded room. All the times when your knee would brush against hers during a meeting. She missed the way it felt to lay next to you. She missed forgetting the world with you.

God, she missed you so much.

But there she was. In the same room as you, years later, preparing breakfast. Her hair was coiled and pinned up, keeping it in place. Her dress fit her perfectly, the skirt swaying with her movements as she elegantly makes her way across the kitchen floor. Her every movement seemed like a performance; like she was the performer and you were the audience, watching her in awe. She was captivating in every possible way, her enchanting voice pulling you in like a siren.

"Good morning, honey! I've been up all morning making us a delightful breakfast." Natasha greeted you with a kiss on the cheek, her performance almost seeming comical. "Nat... it's just peanut butter and jelly sandwiches." You pointed out, glancing over your shared kitchen, seeing the mess that was made. Somehow milk spilled all over the counters, dripping onto the ground, you immediately recognized the smell of burnt toast that hung in the air as you continued looking around.

"Peanut butter and jelly is your favourite, remember?" Natasha reminded you. Your eyes widened at the realization, thanking her. You helped her bring the food to the table, making a note to yourself to tidy up the kitchen before the dinner at Wanda and Vision's that the two of you were invited for.

But you couldn't recall Wanda telling you about the dinner?

"Are you okay, моя любовь?" She placed her hand above yours on the counter. The two of you sat in front of each other, your half-eaten breakfast resting between the two of you. "Of course, why wouldn't I be? I'm with my best girl." You smiled softly at her, and though your words said one thing, Natasha could easily recognise the distant look on your face as you stared off into space, lost in your own thoughts. "What's going on in that pretty little head of yours принцесса?" She teased, squeezing your hand gently.

"What time are we supposed to be at Wanda's?" You asked her, snapping yourself out of the trance you were in. Natasha hesitated, eyebrows furrowed as she watched your every move. Something was bothering you. "We're going to Wanda's in the evening моя любовь, she asked us a while back if we could help out before the others arrived, remember?" Natasha stated as the two of you brought your plates to the sink, beginning to tidy up.

"I'm not sure how much help you'll be sweetheart." You teased, pointing at the mess that was created due to Natasha making breakfast. She feigned hurt in response, "Oh принцесса, you're breaking my heart!" She made her way around you, passing you the cutlery as you rinsed the plates. You chuckled softly at her playful behaviour. "I think we should stick with me making us breakfast so our kitchen doesn't end up getting flooded, wouldn't you agree?" You chuckled, as you made your way around the kitchen, the two of you tidying up the mess Natasha had created.

"If only we were a robot," Natasha sighed, wrapping her arms around you from behind. You leaned back into her, embracing the warmth which radiated from her body, "or had powers." This was a position you were so very used to. "If only," she responded playfully. You turn your head back at the grinning redhead, as she leaned in for a kiss, her eyes fluttering shut as she felt your lips meet.

"You know," Natasha started, "we do have some time to spare-" you then cut her off.

"I like the way you think, sweetheart," You smiled softly, turning in her arms before making your way to your shared bedroom. Natasha followed closely behind.

The two of you were dolled up, looking your best.

Your dress ended just below your knees, the skirt extenuating your hips; it swayed with every movement you made. The short sleeves of the dress looked as though they were about to fall off your shoulders. Natasha's dress, however, was much more slim fitting and hugged her hips perfectly before flowing down, much like a waterfall, making it harder to look at anything else but her.

"Do you think Wanda will get mad at us for arriving a bit later than expected?" You asked nervously, fumbling with your fingers as the two of you made your way down the path that led to Wanda and Vision's home. Natasha shuffled around balancing the tray of pastries you'd prepared in one hand while using her free hand to rub your back gently, comforting you, "I'm sure she won't mind, моя любовь," she reassured you. As you near the house you could hear mumbling from the inside; you heard three or more different voices.

"Is that- is Vision singing?" You asked worriedly, glancing at Natasha who was mirroring your reaction. She knocked on the door, and the singing inside had abruptly stopped. "Oh, that must be our other guests," You heard Vision exclaim, "perfect timing!" You could hear his footsteps gradually get closer. The door swung open and Vision gave a nervous smile, glancing down at the tray of food Natasha was holding before letting out a sigh of relief. He hugged the both of you before welcoming you into his home. He introduced you to Mr. Hart, Visions boss, and Mrs. Hart, his wife.

"Oh hello," Mrs. Hart greeted, "no need to be so formal tonight honey." she smiled at you, pushing away the hand you had extended for her to shake. Instead, she pulled you into a tight hug which quite honestly surprised you. You awkwardly pat the older yet noteably shorter woman on the back before pulling away to quickly greet her husband. He glanced at you and Natasha in confusion, opening his mouth to say something before getting interrupted. "Oh here, let me take that, Natasha. You stay here and I'll go get a plate to put these on." You glanced at everyone in the room, offering them a smile before making your way to the kitchen, Vision stopped you before you got to the door, extending his arm out.

"Thank you," he leaned down to whisper to you. You squeezed his arm in response. You weren't used to seeing Vision in this form. He looked human. You rushed into the kitchen, startling Wanda, "I've figured you needed help." You smiled sheepishly at her, placing the tray down onto the counter, taking in all the chaos that was going on in the kitchen. It reminded you of this morning.

"Well, this isn't the first chaotic kitchen I've walked into today," you teased, reaching out for a plate before neatly plating the pastries onto it. Wanda laughed nervously in response, as she flicked through the recipe cards, searching for the right one. You walked back into the living room, placing the plate onto the coffee table prompting Vision to jump up out of his seat and offer Mr. and Mrs. Hart an appetizer. Looking to Natasha, you gave her a wink before swiftly turning around, your dress swaying with your movements as you made your way back into the kitchen, missing the frown forming on Mr. Hart's face.

"Oh, what was I supposed to do next?" Wanda began rambling, "what was the main course again?"

Making your way to the recipe cards floating in the air you attempted to help her find the card with the right recipe, steak. You could hear Vision playing a song on the ukulele while Natasha unwillingly sang alongside him.

"That's not it" You sighed, sifting through the cards, "is this one steak?"

"Steak," Wanda started, "Diane!" she accidentally yells. Her eyes widened as she realized what she'd done. She looks to you with a frown. You just barely heard Vision respond with a, "yes dear?"

"This is going terribly," Wanda frowned, leaning her head upon your shoulder. You chuckled, rubbing her back gently before pulling her away, forcing her to look at you, "Hey, you can do this, okay? You're not alone," you reassured her, attempting to raise her spirits. She sighed in relief, repeating to herself ", "I can do this, I can do this, I can do this..."

Vision barged into the kitchen unexpectedly, his nerves radiating through room. Wanda panics, accidentally using her powers to throw the lobsters out of the window.

"How can I be of assistance." Vision asks, mirroring Wanda's expression.

"Well," Wanda started, "the chicken is no longer a chicken and the lobsters just flew the coop, so the steak is the last man standing," she explains, making her way around the kitchen. You held the recipe card in your hand, skimming the instructions, "it says here you could cut down the prep time with a meat tenderiser." You recited, looking at the couple once more. "Excellent plan! Where's the tenderiser?" Vision questions, ready to help in the kitchen.

"I'm looking at him," Wanda began, holding her hand out to pass the tenderiser to Vision. You pull her hand back before Vision reaches out for it. "No. What you need to do, Vision, is go entertain your guests. Have faith in your wife and I, okay?" You pushed him out of the kitchen, before turning around and clapping your hands.

"So, where were we?" You asked, hopefully.

After a stressful couple of minutes, a brief visit from a woman with a pineapple, and Natasha almost spilling water on her dress; dinner was served.

Well technically, breakfast was served.

The six of you sat around the dining table, nervously looking around. Mr. and Mrs. Hart looked at the food in confusion, staring at the cooked bacon and eggs paired with the red wine and chocolate covered strawberries.

"Breakfast for dinner?" Mr, Hart began, with obvious judgement written all over his face. "How very-" "European." Mrs. Hart cut him off, smiling reassuringly at the two of you.

"European?" You muttered, glancing at Wanda in confusion, who then motioned her hand in a 'I'll tell you later' sort of way. "Oh, let's have a toast!" Vision began, raising his glass up. All of you followed suite as Vision continued.

"To my lovely and talented wife," he gloated, unable to take his eyes off her.

"And to our esteemed guests," Wanda added. You didn't miss the wink she threw at you and Natasha, causing the two of you to stifle your laughs. Everyone clinked their glasses together and dug into their food. It wasn't long after when the questioning began.

"So, where did you move from?" Mrs. Hart began, "what brought you here? How long have you been married? And why don't you have children yet?" She interrogated Wanda and Vision, and you glanced over at Natasha, hesitantly, who shrugged in response before continuing to eat her food. Her eyes then met Mr. Hart's, who's eyebrows were furrowed at the interaction, waiting for his wife to finish speaking so he could say something. You didn't notice Wanda struggling to answer the questions being thrown, while Vision looked at Wanda desperately waiting for an answer. It was almost as if the two of them didn't know themselves.

You also failed to notice Wanda zoning out of the conversation, staring off into the distance as Mrs. Hart continued pestering her for answers. "And what about the two of you, huh? You two roommates?" Mr. Hart questioned, noticing how closely seated you were next to Natasha.

"Something like that," Natasha responded, biting back the smirk that was fighting it's way onto her lips.

"Two lovely women such as yourselves shouldn't struggle to find a man. Why don't the two of you have husbands yet?" Mr. Hart asked, leaning forward. You felt the hair in your arms rise as you realised where the conversation was leading. Glancing at Natasha nervously, you noticed how her fingers were clenched around her cutlery.

"We just prefer each other's company," you stated simply, shoving a forkful of eggs into your mouth to distract yourself.

"What do you mean? Are you- that's unnatural!" He ranted. You ignored him, noticing that Wanda was still trying to answer questions about her and Visions marriage.

"Yes, yes, we were married in," Wanda paused, getting lost in her thoughts. Mr. Hart continued his rant to you and Natasha as You, Vision and Natasha glanced at Wanda nervously.

"You're both women! That's wrong!" Mr Hart argues.

"Well, what's your story?" Mrs. Hart questions Wanda.

Mr. Hart began shouting, slamming his fist onto the table as Mrs. Hart continued to grill Wanda for answers. Wanda snaps back into reality due to a sudden, unexpected noise. She turned to face Mr. Hart who began to choking. You stared at Natasha, frightened and unsure as of what to do in this situation.

"Oh, Arthur, stop it!" Mrs. Hart laughed. She repeated the words 'stop it' over and over again, her tone gradually becoming more panicked as her husband continued to choke. His hand rested on his throat. Vision stared at Mr. Hart in an unsure manner, his hands resting against the table almost as if the were pinned against it. You only just noticed how Mrs. Hart turned to Wanda as she continued repeating those same words.

"Stop it," she pleaded, her voice shaking as she looked at Wanda, who was staring at Mr. Hart in shock. Mr. Hart fell off his chair and onto the ground as he continued to choke. You wanted to rush over and help him but it felt as though your hands were bound to the table and you couldn't move your legs. You were only able to watch as the man continued to choke while his wife chuckled.

"Stop it."

"Vision, help him," Wanda demanded. Vision rushed out of his seat and next to Mr. Hart, phasing his hand through his throat and removing a whole chocolate covered strawberry.

When did Mr. Hart pick up the strawberry? You thought to yourself.

"Let me help you up," Vision offers, helping Mr. Hart back to his feet. The atmosphere in the room had immediately changed, going back to exactly how it was before. It was almost as if a switch had been flipped and everyone forgot what was happening.

"Would you look at the time!" Mr. Hart exclaimed making his way to the door as his wife followed behind him.

"Well," Wanda started, "are you both alright?" she questioned nervously, as she stood up. "Yes, we better be going. We had such a lovely time!" Mrs. Hart reassured. The couple left the house very abruptly, mentioning something about a promotion before exiting the front door.

"Oh, we must be going as well!" Natasha exclaims, pushing herself up out of her seat before saying goodbye to the two. She hugged them both before making her way out of the door. You hugged Vision and thanked him for having you over before making your way to Wanda.

"Tonight was wonderful, Wanda," you reassured, pulling her into a hug. You felt her shoulders slacken in your arms, sighing softly as she returned your embrace before pulling away from you, her arms resting on your shoulders.

"Thank you, thank you for everything."

As the two of you made your way home, you couldn't help but let Mr. Hart's words play on repeat in your mind. You could tell Natasha knew what was bugging you as she squeezed your hand gently. The two of you continued to hold hands as you made your way home.

"I know we can't get married," you started, as you stood in your living room, staring at the woman who made you feel most at home. She nodded, waiting for you to continue as she rested her hand against your cheek, allowing her thumb to gently stroke your face.

"But I just want you to know that I'm here for you. For better or for worse. I never want to be apart from you," you chuckled softly, staring at her in awe, allowing your eyes to glance at her lips before you looked back into her eyes.

"I know, моя любовь. And I'd do anything for you," Natasha began.

"Even die for you."

natasha romanoff taglist: @blackxwidowsxwife @severepeanutartisanhands @madamevirgo @starsvck @umsolikeblog @baddecisions-png @yourmcu

all works: @teenwonder @amourtentiaa @husherstan @peggycarter-steverogers

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flowersandskeletons526 · 3 years

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“The Harshest Future We Could Have Imagined” - Lumity Future AU Fanfic Part 2

Here’s chapter two! Luz and Amity finally get their reunion and get a short chance to catch up.

----

Luz tackled Amity in a hug.

"I missed you guys so much!" she exclaimed, laughing past the tears in her eyes. "I'm so happy I get to see you again!"

Amity hesitated, eyes wide and watery, before finally putting her arms around Luz. The human winced as Amity's nails dug into her back but didn't let go. "Tell me I'm not dreaming," she gasped, clinging to Luz. "Tell me you're here."

"I am here," Luz whispered. "I'm sorry I was gone so long."

Forcing herself to pull back, Amity beckoned to Willow and Gus. Both grinned and jumped on their friends, locking them in a tight hug. Eda, Lilith, and King followed. Luz laughed under the smothering hugs and held her family tighter. She somehow managed to keep from crying as Amity buried her face against her neck, talons still locked in her back.

"I missed you, Luz," she whispered in her ear.

"I missed you too, Ami."

They all stayed like that for longer than any could tell, until Eda released them with, "Alright, enough with the parallel arms thing."

Everyone broke apart laughing. Luz stayed close to Amity, pressing their arms together as Amity wiped at her eyes. Willow shot Luz that old knowing smile over Amity's head.

Luz grinned at everyone. "Okay, you guys have to tell me everything that's happened while I was gone," she said. Every smile in the room disappeared. She frowned. "Guys?"

Eda sighed. "Come sit down, kid. Amity, Willow, why don't you explain?"

Luz looked around with a concerned frown as Willow led her to the table. She sat beside Luz while Amity hovered behind them, tying the long part of her undercut into a messy bun. Luz watched her for a moment before Willow tapped the table to get her attention.

Only then did she notice the scar on Willow’s face. Deep and ragged, it curled down the side of her face, revealed by her much shorter hair. Glancing back at Amity, Luz noticed the scars that littered her pale skin, as well. She noticed the dark shadows and creases beneath everyone’s eyes, their cuts and bruises, the fresh blood and dirt that covered them. They were her age; logically, she knew that, but looking at them now, it seemed that far more years had passed for them than had for her. Even Gus, though still short, had grown into hardened features and haunted eyes. Luz swallowed hard and looked to Willow.

“After you left,” the witch began, “things started to get bad.”

Her voice was somber and hollow. Luz’s stomach dropped.

“Belos started recruiting more members into the Emperor’s coven, powerful magic users and foot soldiers. They stopped allowing study of different tracks and anyone caught practicing outside a coven was arrested. The multi-track at Hexside was outlawed. Using glyphs was grounds for immediate arrest.”

Luz felt for the pad of paper in her pocket and took a deep breath.

Willow went on. “Remember how Gus was digging tunnels beneath school?”

“It was just supposed to be one at first,” Gus interjected.

“Well, he finished them. There’s a massive network under there now that we used to meet in to discuss plans, mostly on keeping them away from the Owl House and Eda while they tried to fix the portal. After that speech I made during the petrification, after people found out we stole the portal back, everyone started getting angrier with the entire idea of the coven system.”

“Most people,” Amity said bitterly.

Willow sighed and reached out to squeeze her hand. “Most people. Anyway, once all that started, Belos put us in martial law and put everything under complete jurisdiction of the Emperor’s coven and their leader. Alador Blight.”

“Blight? You mean…?”

“My father.” Amity gripped her staff harshly. “And now my brother.”

“Edric?”

“What about him, Amity?” Eda asked.

“He’s Belos’ new commander. We ran into him today at the fight in town. Eda, we’re going to need to set up more security for a while and try to keep him away as long as possible. He knows too much about us.”

“So, you’re all fighting the Emperor’s coven now?” Luz asked.

“We are,” said Willow. “Belos, specifically. Eventually he started petrifying people and spouting all that Titan’s will bullshit, so we got angry, and we snuck into his castle a year ago and tried to kill him.”

“You what?”

“Willow did,” Gus said.

Willow smirked and tapped her scar. “That’s what this is from.”

“You’re kidding,” Luz murmured. “Really, Willow? That doesn’t sound like you at all.”

“Maybe when we were younger, Luz. A lot has changed since you left.”

“I guess so.” Luz rubbed the back of her neck. “What’s going on now?”

“War. Amity and I lead the rebellion. We’re doing our best to just take him down and destroy the coven system. We’re trying but it’s been awful.”

“Once it’s calmed down again, we should bring Luz through the Isles,” Gus suggested.

“I’m not sure if that is such a good idea,” Lilith said.

Eda shook her head. “No, she should. She’s back with us now and she needs to know what’s been happening.”

“Tomorrow we’ll go on a stealth mission through town so she can see what’s been happening,” Amity decided. She touched Willow’s shoulder. “Does that work?”

“That works.” Willow stood. Luz stood as well, seized by a sudden sense of respect for the newly realized leader in her old friend. “Gus and I have to go. We have to make sure the base is secure before heading home. All our dads are waiting for us.”

“Your dads are part of the rebellion?” Luz asked.

“My dads help with the healers and Gus’ dad circulates our messages and newsletters.”

“Wowza.”

“I’ll come with you,” Amity said.

“No, Amity, stay here,” Willow ordered gently. “We’ll be fine. We need you here.”

“Okay.”

Willow and Gus pulled Luz into a tight hug. “We’ll see you tomorrow, okay? I’m sorry we couldn’t stay long right now. It’s been an awful day.”

“It looks like it,” Luz said. “I’m sorry.”

“Tomorrow we’ll take you through the new Isles,” Gus said.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye, guys.”

“Bye, Luz.”

Luz sank back down in her chair as Willow and Gus left, staring at her hands in her lap. “What did I do when I left?” she whispered.

“It wasn’t you, Luz,” Eda said. “This has been a long time coming. It was just bad timing. Amity, why don’t you and Luz go set up her bed with you upstairs for now?”

“Okay.”

Amity grabbed Luz’s backpack and nodded to the stairs. Luz caught Amity’s hand, making Amity blush, and followed along beside her.

Upstairs, Luz’s room - now Amity’s - hadn’t changed much. Eda’s clutter still bordered the room. The old, weathered Azura poster hung in its place on the wall, with the entire series stacked beneath it beside King’s bed. Along with the string lights hung up, multiple glowing orbs hung in the air. Sitting in the corner was a writing pad and pencil with multiple different glyphs scattered around it, including several light glyphs. A little keepsake box with an A on it sat on the windowsill.

Luz stopped in the doorway as Amity nudged her bed to the side. She grabbed another mat and sleeping bag from a chest on the side of the room as Luz looked around.

“You didn’t change much, did you?” she asked.

“Not really. I was planning on you coming back soon so I didn’t want to move anything, and when you didn’t, well…” Amity shrugged. “It made me think of you. I used to read Azura sitting with King beneath the poster.”

Luz nodded. Forcing a smile, she tried at their old joke. “Did you miss me that much, Blight?”

“Yes, actually.” Amity paused. “And it’s Clawthorne now.”

“What?”

“My name. It’s Amity Clawthorne.”

“Oh. Since when?”

“Six months after you left, I think? I got into a fight with my mother because she found out I was hanging around the Owl House. She told me she was my mother so I had to listen to her, I told her I didn’t care, and she said fine. Then I must not care that I’m a Blight, either. She threw me out, I came here, and I shaved my head the next day. Eda and Lilith agreed to let me take the Clawthorne name a little after, and that was that. I was going to look for a bird palisman too, like them, but Raja came along and changed my mind."

“Oh, geez, Amity, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. Honestly, I ended up better than I ever would have been if I stayed in the manor. Better than what happened with Edric, anyway.”

A hush fell over the room. Luz sighed and took Amity’s hand. Amity glanced at her.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to get back here,” she murmured. “Believe it or not, the human world doesn’t have many how-to books on fixing portals.”

Amity laughed sadly. “Well, we weren’t exactly quick on our side, either. I’m just glad you’re back now.”

“Me, too.”

King scurried into the room. “Luz! Amity! I demand cuddles!”

Amity laughed and sat on her bed. King jumped into her lap, curling up as she scratched his back. Chuckling to herself, Luz sat with Amity and patted King’s head. King closed his eyes and snuggled into them.

“You two get along now?” Luz asked.

“She gave me a cupcake!” King chirped.

Luz raised an eyebrow.

“I came by with peace offerings a few weeks after you left,” Amity explained. “I wanted to make up for being an asshole before we became friends.”

“I’m glad you get along with everyone now.”

“It was touch and go for a little bit, but we got there. Eda really trusts me now, especially after everything started getting bad.”

“That’s good! I still remember the whole burning memory thing.”

Amity groaned, grinning as she went red and shook her head. “Titan, Eda did not like me back then. I was such an idiot when we were younger.”

“Only a little.”

The conversation drifted off. They smiled at each other, King sleeping between them, quiet in the fading light coming in through the window.

Luz cleared her throat. “I really like your hair, by the way.”

Amity blushed and touched the shaved part of her hair. “Really?”

“Yeah. The brown looks nice. And you look, I don’t know, happier, now, even with everything you’ve told me about.”

Amity pulled her knees to her chest. “A little. It’s mostly because you’re back.”

Without warning, Amity jumped into Luz’s arms, scaring King off her lap. Luz stuck one arm back to keep them both upright. She wrapped the other around Amity’s waist as the witch hid her face against Luz’s shoulder. Luz nuzzled against Amity, smiling as her pointed ear flicked and turned backwards, holding her tight. Amity let go of a long breath and relaxed in Luz’s embrace.

“I missed you so much,” she said. Hot tears dripped onto Luz’s shoulder. “I didn’t know if you were ever going to come back. So many years went by and we weren’t able to do anything and I didn’t think we would ever be able to fix it.”

“I know. I was scared, too.” Luz sighed and adjusted to put both her arms around Amity. She shot King a look. He nodded, taking the hint and bolting downstairs. “I only thought about you and the others when I was in the human world. God, Amity, my mom was so mad at me.”

“She thought you were at a camp, right?”

“Yeah. And when I finally told her where I really was, she thought I was crazy. She tried to send me to another camp.” Luz shuddered, thinking of the therapist’s office and all the brochures that woman showed Camila. “Well, not really a camp, but, something like it. She thought it was going to help me. I got out of it though, after a lot of talks and convincing. I’m still not sure she totally believes me, but I think she just finally, I don’t know, accepted it, I guess? I think she thought that most of my pictures were photoshopped, too.”

“Photoshopped?”

“It’s a way to edit pictures in the human world. Anyway, I showed her pictures of you and everyone else and all the weird things on the Isles, and I don’t know if she gave up or actually believed me, but she stopped trying to fix me. I think she was just glad I finally started acting normal in public, Isles aside.”

Amity pulled back, still leaning on Luz and only inches away from her face. “You told me you hated how everyone acted in the human world.”

“I did. I do. But I knew that if I started acting the way she wanted me to, I could focus on finding a way to get back to you.” Luz turned aside and cleared her throat. “Um, all of you, I mean. Get back to all of you and get back to the Isles.”

“Right.”

Amity glanced down and went red in the face. Pursing her lips, she sat back away from Luz. The human smiled sadly and pulled one knee up to her chest.

“So,” she said, “how is it being a Clawthorne?”

“It’s… fine. Eda and Lilith care about me, at least.”

“Are they still getting along?”

“They are, which is more than I can say for my own siblings.”

“Is Emira part of the rebellion?”

“She is. She usually fights with my squad, but sometimes she gets put with the old detention kids.”

“Viney, Jerbo, and Barcus?”

“Mmhm.”

“What about everyone else from school?”

“I haven’t heard anything from Skara and her friends. That little jerk from the construction track joined the Emperor’s coven, and we’ve seen him a few times on patrol, but not much. Last I heard of Boscha, she just stayed away from everything.”

“Huh. Knowing her, I would’ve expected her to join the coven.”

“She almost did. She got sick of the idea of being told what to do and dropped off the map. No one has seen her since then.”

Luz nodded. She looked outside at the purple sky, watching the stars light up like the light orbs glowing in the room above them.

“So much has changed since I left.”

Amity sighed. “It’s been hard. I won’t lie. But, we’re trying.”

“I’m glad I’m here to help now.”

“So am I.” Climbing to her feet, Amity dragged a hand down her face. “I’m going to go take a shower. You should get some sleep. It’s going to be a long day tomorrow sneaking through the Isles.”

Luz laid out her sleeping bag beside Amity’s and stretched out. Staring out the window, she took a deep breath and fished out her paper and pencil. She drew a light glyph and sent it into the air besides Amity’s pink-tinged lights. She sighed and allowed herself a tiny smile, the lights dancing in her eyes. Some things didn’t change.

Amity turned after a while, dressed in torn pajamas with her hair down. Luz turned over to look at her and froze. Her heart jumped into her throat. Amity was always pretty to her when they were younger, but now it suddenly hit her how beautiful she really was. She flashed Luz a little smile and lied down beside her.

They faced each other, barely a foot apart. Luz held out a hand that Amity took. With hands clasped between them, they closed their eyes, finally at peace with the other beside them again.

****

Luz crouched behind Willow. Hexside stood before them, reduced from its former glory to a smoldering, pitted, burnt out husk. A picture of Belos’s mask with a red X through it was graffitied across the mighty tower in front. All the trees surrounding the campus were cut or burned down, leaving only stumps behind. The top of the tower and the eye inside were blasted away. Her heart sank at the sight. She clutched Willow’s hand, unable to look away from the ruined school.

Willow lowered her head a touch. “That’s Hexside,” she said quietly. “When they found out we were meeting in the tunnels and using Viney’s passages, they sent in squads and destroyed the place. They wouldn’t let anyone fix it, either, even to continue using it as a school.”

Luz grimaced. “Do I even want to see Bonesborough after this?”

“Probably not, but you should.”

Willow ushered her along.

The town looked no better. Little fires burned everywhere. Most buildings were scorched in places or had holes busted through the walls. Doors were torn off their hinges and windows were cracked and shattered. The normally busy town was deserted by its citizens, replaced by white robed soldiers and little flying creatures. The soldiers shouted at anyone wandering the streets. Some were forced back into buildings. Others were clubbed and forced into chains before being carted away.

Propagandic pictures of Belos’ proud visage were plastered on every wall, alongside wanted posters of Willow and Amity’s dangerous caricatures. Luz was reminded of Eda’s old posters displayed everywhere.

Hiding on a hill overlooking the town, the crew watched as a new patrol squad marched through the streets. Their leader stepped out in front of his soldiers and took off his mask.

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hope-faith-love-abide · 3 years

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I haven’t been keeping up with Heartland season 14 updates the past few months, but I decided to catch up on some of it since the premiere date is coming up and the teaser trailer was released recently. And I noticed some interesting speculation about what might happen in the new season, and I have...a lot of thoughts about it, haha. I think I need to write it out in order to really sort out my thoughts and feelings on it, but I think it might get kinda long since it’s pretty major, so I’m going to put it under a cut.

[NOTE: This post was written approximately a week or so ago, and I’ve been just sitting on it trying to decide if I wanna post or not. But having watched the full trailer for Season 14 now...I’m like 95% certain that this seems to be the route that the season is going. Still have about 5% doubt because trailers can be misleading and I could just be reading into it. We won’t really know for sure until we see the first episode, and I’m so torn between being somewhat excited just because I want to know for certain and nervous because I know I will still be sad if it’s true.

Either way, I wanted to get my thoughts down before the season premieres so here it is I guess lol]

So...it’s actually possible that Ty might die/be dead when this season begins? Which is utterly bizarre to think about because I never would have considered this to be an actual possible situation for the show. Even when there was that summary that leaked earlier this year, I still didn’t think it was a real possibility. I thought for certain that was fake, because this is Heartland. It’s one thing for a side character to disappear from the show or to be killed off, but a main character? A main character can be hurt, injured, and on the verge of death, but they won’t actually die. Especially not a character who is in one of the two major ships on the show.

Until now?

Of course, if this does happen, I don’t think it’s something anyone on the show wanted, not even the writers. In an ideal world where every actor wanted to be in every episode of the show, I imagine they’d be perfectly happy continuing to write that story.

But in cases where an actor no longer wants to be a main character on the show -- well, obviously I can’t say definitively that this is the case, because as far as I know he has never specifically said this in an interview, but from an outsider’s/fan’s perspective, it feels like that is a possibility. I don’t know the reasons behind it though, and I’m not going to go that far into speculation.

But let’s go with this scenario hypothetically. Because it does sometimes happen with television shows, where an actor for one reason or another no longer will be part of a show.

What do you do with that character?

The character could be recast, I suppose, but I don’t think that would work in a show like Heartland. How would we explain in-universe why Ty suddenly looks different when everyone else is still the same? Even if you can find an actor that looks similar enough, we know what Ty looks like after 13 seasons, and I don’t think anyone would be fooled into thinking it’s the same guy. I guess it could be explained with the trope that he got into such a bad accident that they had to reconstruct his face, but that feels cheap and too much like a soap opera.

So that’s a no.

The character could be written out in other ways. Ty could just be off screen somewhere...all the time. He’s at the clinic, he’s spending the day with Lyndy, he’s at a vet conference, he’s gone back to save wolves from poachers again, he’s gone back to Mongolia for the third/fourth/fifth/ten billionth time.

That, honestly, would be frustrating. It’s maybe the least painful short term option, but long term, it’s not very enjoyable. It’s like when important side characters suddenly disappear from the show, occasionally mentioned but never seen on screen again, only 10 times worse.

Or he could be written off by...y’know, breaking up him and Amy. Which, frankly, is the absolute worst option in my opinion. It would immediately, retroactively, destroy the entire show, past, present, and future. Ty and Amy aren’t the only important part of the show, but they are a major part of it. The show has spent 13 seasons building up this relationship (with obvious ups and downs throughout, but I’m not focused on analyzing their whole relationship in this post), so to suddenly turn around and have them divorce would be an absolute trainwreck.

What would even be the reason? Even with some of my disagreements in the writing of certain decisions the characters have made (*coughtheMongoliaplotcough*), I don’t think those are reasons enough for these two characters to break up over it. So something new would have to be invented, and it would likely be something completely ridiculous and out-of-character for them both and also likely ruin their character development from past seasons.

Which leads us to yet another option: Ty dying. A year ago this was something I never would have considered for the actual show (or any of those other options, frankly). It could be interesting to explore in a fanfic, but on the show? No way.

But...things change. Reality sometimes gets in the way of a television show’s ideal storyline, which is one of the difficulties of the medium, especially a live action one. And just because one actor hypothetically doesn’t want to be on the show anymore doesn’t mean it should be derailed for all the other actors and crew who are on board.

So you get rid of the character. It isn’t hard to do. Probably the hardest part will be the very first episode when it’s revealed to the audience. How did it happen? Did it happen before the season begins, or does it happen in the first episode? Or if it happened before, do we get any flashbacks?

Is it due to complications from the gunshot at the end of season 13? A freak car/motorcycle accident? An accident during a vet call? Depending on what it is and the context of it, it can be a strong final note on the kind of person Ty has become. If during a vet call/because of an animal, it happens while he’s doing what he loves, taking care of animals. If from the end of S13, it’s from him protecting his wife. If a car accident, maybe he was going to pick up Lyndy to spend time with her after leaving a vet call, because he’s a loving father. All of those are inline with Ty’s character and still support the growth that he’s had from the first episode to now.

And then there’s all the story potential and character growth that it opens up for all the other characters. Because this is something that majorly impacts the entire family. And the description of season 14 that was put out does talk about a “life-changing challenge,” particularly for Amy for obvious reasons.

How does she deal with losing her husband? They’ve been together for so long, not just as romantic interests but as best friends. What does her life look like without him in it? How does this affect her work? Is her work with horses a comfort for her, or does it remind her too much of him? How does she guide Lyndy through this?

And then the rest of the family. How does Jack deal with his loss? Considering Ty became like a son to him and “officially” joins the family when he marries Amy, how does it affect Jack to lose him? Especially if it was in something like a car accident, similar to Marion. How does it affect Jack and Lisa’s relationship?

Not to mention Lily, and Lou, and Georgie, and Tim, and Caleb, and Scott, and Cass. Ty was a huge part of all their lives, so this will affect them in major ways too.

Again, it’s not ideal. But I do feel like this option provides the best story opportunities without ruining the characters in the process the way certain other choices would.

And, of course, this is all purely speculation. We won’t really know what’s going to happen until the season actually airs, and it’s entirely possible that the “life-changing challenge” will be something completely different, and Ty will be fine. And if so, that’s okay with me.

But if Ty is gone...I think I could learn to be okay with it. Though it does still depend on how they handle it. Like if everyone’s sad about it for one or two episodes, but then everyone immediately moves on and everything’s fine, then I wouldn’t be happy with that. We don’t need a whole season of everyone crying all the time, but we also don’t need this to be something that’s swept under the rug. We, the audience, will need time to grieve along with the characters. Because this is a main character that we could be losing here, not just a minor side character like Mr. Hanley for example. So I hope we get to see all of the characters going through the stages of grief and processing their loss in their own ways throughout the season.

Anyway, it was nice to write through my thoughts on this. It’s kinda funny thinking about how not that long ago, I would’ve been completely 100% against this idea ever happening in the show, but now I’m like almost on-board with it. Maybe it’s the effect of 2020 or something lol

#brigette's rambles #heartland

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littledrummeraussie · 4 years

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as we burst into color. / getaway series

Word count: 3600+ Warnings: Smut. Again: blink-and-you-miss-it Dom!Ash. Kinda public sex, but not really. Author’s note: The fifth part of my getaway series. Shout out to my friend for requesting this months ago - look, I finally made it! Sorry for breaking you during the process. ❤️ Thank you all for being such lovelies! Feedback is always appreciated, and stay safe all you beautiful people. ❤️ If you missed the previous parts:

getaway masterlist. / masterlist.

The late afternoon sun peeked through the curtains of your little forest cabin, painting everything gold and yellow from floor to ceiling. You’ve spent the majority of your day sitting in the open window, enjoying the sunshine warming your skin as you shared the cookies that Ashton insisted on baking. You played along when he put half of it in his mouth, leaning closer to make you bite off the remaining part, brushing your lips together just for a second and trying not to choke on laughter afterwards. He braided your hair as you talked about music and their upcoming plans, pulling you closer and pressing a kiss on your temple when he was finally done. You wished you could stay there forever, wrapped up in each other’s love and embrace for eternity.

Then he slipped off the windowsill, telling you to wait until he gets back and then disappeared in the direction of the back porch. It was in Ashton’s nature to be full of surprises. Sometimes you could see the exact moment when an idea was born in his mind, his eyes suddenly turning into sparkling orbs, mouth twitching into a smile he couldn’t hide even if he tried his hardest. It wasn’t any different this time around, his bouncing knees and the dimples appearing on his cheeks both telltale signs that he was planning something – and honestly, you couldn’t wait to find out what he had in store for you.

Ashton appeared some time later, the smile still sitting on his face as he pulled you up and covered your eyes with his hands. He laughed as you questioned his intentions, but promised that you will be having fun, you only needed to trust him. With pressing his front against your back he started steering you in the direction where he came from, making sure you’re not tripping over anything on your way towards the porch. Even after days spent in your little getaway house he could still manage to come up with the most unexpected ideas. One of them being…

”A hot tub?”

”Told you I have a surprise for you,” he grinned at you, wrapping his arms around your waist as he pulled you closer. ”What do you think? You wanna jump in with me?”

”Tell me you packed me something?” you blinked up at him, and Ash just rolled his eyes, pressing a kiss on your nose.

”Of course I did. Though you could be naked as well, I wouldn’t mind it,” his hand slipped down to your ass, lightly squeezing it. ”It’s just the two of us, nobody will see you other than me.”

”You saw plenty of me in the last few days,” you answered, but a smile played at the corner of your mouth. ”Let me change and I’ll meet you back here?”

”I’m not going anywhere,” he gave you a wink then started pulling off his shirt. ”And as I already have my trunks on, I’m just gonna get right in.”

”You do that, Superman,” you laughed, playfully pinching the soft flesh on his waist, and he pulled away with a giggle, shooing you away from him.

You blew him one last kiss as you made your way back to the house, smiling to yourself. Ashton really did put a lot of effort into your week away, and you appreciated every little thing he came up with. You just hoped he knows how much all of this means to you – and you hoped he felt that you were also trying your best to make him feel loved.

Rummaging through your bag you’ve found the bikini he packed away for you, and you needed to stifle your laugh. Of course he chose this one, it was his favourite. Ash liked to play with the strings on the sides, untying the knots then tying them back together. It was a game he liked to tease you with – how long can you keep a straight face while he slowly undressed you under the water. You were never actually caught before, though the blush on your face must have given you away a few times. Not that anybody cared.

Ashton was already soaking in the water by the time you’ve got back. His head was thrown back as he enjoyed the last rays of sunshine, the purple bruise still visible on his jaw. He flashed you a smile when he caught sight of you, eyebrows wiggling as he motioned you to come closer. You sat down on the side of the tub, giving him a questioning look.

”I hope you’re not tricking me into an ice bath…”

”You think I would be capable of doing such things?” he leaned forward, splashing the water your way.

”Do you even have to ask?” you laughed as the warm water landed on your thigh, and he just settled back with a satisfied grin.

”I haven’t seen this bikini on you since Calum’s pool party.”

Calum’s pool parties were famous, and there was only one strict rule you had to keep to: swimwear was mandatory. There was no way you could avoid being pushed or thrown into the pool by one of the guys, so it was better to keep your clothes safely stashed away somewhere, and just wear something fitting for the occasion. Ashton was really excited about the upcoming gathering, saying how it would finally give you some time to get a breath of fresh air and a few uninterrupted hours where work and commitments didn’t matter.

Ash made it his mission to get you into the pool as soon as he could, picking you up in the kitchen when he saw you in your bikini and running outside to jump into the water with a shout. He kissed away your breathless protests when you finally surfaced, pushing the wet hair back from both of your faces, laughing as you pretended to be annoyed with him. Throughout the next two hours he played the same game with you, throwing you into the pool when you least expected it, jumping after you to pull you to his chest for kisses and hugs as peace-offering.

The two of you pulled away to one of the corners for some time, nuzzling into each other as you shared sweet words and naughty thoughts, Ashton’s fingers slowly playing with the strings keeping your bikini bottom up on your hips. His smile was soft and beautiful, skin sun-kissed, eyes sparkling with mischief and love. You were more than happy to get lost in that moment with him, and you were sure he already had plans for when you finally got back home later that evening.

But then a few missed calls on your phone caught your attention, and your stomach flipped when you realized they were from your boss. You quickly called her back, already knowing what she will tell you, and when she ended the call with a “get here ASAP”, you knew that your fun afternoon was over and that it will end Ashton’s happy mood.

”Ash, hey,” you crouched down next to the pool to run your fingers through his hair, trying to get his attention.

”You’re ready to come back?” he grinned at you, hands already sliding up to your waist to pull you into the water.

”I can’t… I have to go…” you sighed, already hating yourself for what you were about to say.

”What’s wrong?” he furrowed his brows, looking at you questioningly.

”I’m needed in the office. It’s an emergency.”

”Oh,” he let go of you to push himself out of the water and sit next to you. ”I guess it can’t wait, can it?”

”Seems like it,” you pouted at him, brushing the hair away from his forehead. ”I’m so sorry. But if I go now I might be able to get back for one last dive.”

”Sure baby, it’s okay,” he shook his head, giving you a half-smile. ”Not your fault.”

He repeated your exact words back to you from that time you needed to skip breakfast because of their interview, and it just made you feel even worse. You both knew these things were not something you could control, but it did not change the fact that you needed to cut your time short with him and your friends. You leaned forward to press a quick kiss on his lips, and he hummed in agreement.

”Take the car,” he brushed his thumb over your cheek. ”Keys are in my pocket.”

”Thank you. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

”I know. Check in with me?” he asked and you just nodded, squeezing his shoulder.

”I will. Love you.”

”Love you too. Take care.”

You gave him one more quick smile before going inside to change into your clothes and letting Calum know that you needed to go. He made you promise that you’ll be back later, and with that you left his house, making your way to the city and your work emergency. The next time you checked your phone it was well past midnight. You’ve never checked in with Ashton.

You locked eyes with Ashton as you slipped into the water, and he immediately reached towards you, pulling you close to sit in his lap. He wrapped his arms around your waist and you grabbed onto his shoulders, lightly squeezing them. He had the same soft, beautiful smile on his face like on that day.

”Finally, I’ve thought I’ve lost you in there for a minute,” Ashton pushed a lock of hair behind your ear as he searched you with his eyes.

”Sorry, did I zone out?” you asked, and he just nodded in return.

”What were you thinking about?”

”Calum’s party,” you confessed, your fingers slowly tangling into his necklace. ”How it could have been such an amazing day, but I needed to fuck it up. Big time.”

”Hey now, we’ve been over this,” he tilted your chin up to look back at him. ”We both made mistakes, and bringing them up again and again won’t change anything. It’s just gonna ruin our present moment.”

”I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to–” you started again, but Ash just shook his head, pushing a finger against your lips.

”Shh, stop with that. I want to spend this beautiful evening with you, making new memories. So… no more wasting our time on the past. Okay?”

His hazel eyes shone in the setting sun, making you lose yourself in the different colours of greens and browns looking back at you. You cupped his face as you leaned closer, capturing his lips in a kiss. Ashton hummed softly, pressing his lips back against yours as his hand slid up your back, pushing his fingers into your hair, slowly untangling the braid he previously made. He brushed through the tangled strands, curling them around his finger as he pushed his tongue in your mouth, making you both moan. He lightly nipped on your lips as you pulled back, still cupping his face in your palms. You nuzzled your face against his cheek, laughing as the short hairs scratched against your skin.

”You’re so scruffy,” you brushed your thumbs over his growing beard, and Ashton laughed back at you.

”You like my weekend look?” he pulled you closer, rubbing his scruff against your neck.

”Ash! That tickles!” you laughed into his hair, and he repeated his nuzzling, pressing a kiss on your collarbone.

His embrace and the warm water bubbling around you eased your worried mind, and you happily snuggled up to his chest, leaving small kisses on his chin and face, lightly sucking on the skin of his throat. Ashton’s sighs got more breathy against your ear, his hands on your back slowly sliding down to your waist to pull you even more into his lap. Your making out got more frantic, tongues and teeth working on another set of hickeys, bodies pressed together until you started giggling against Ashton’s lips, fingers slipping into his hair at the nape of his neck.

”Hmm, I felt something.”

”Yeah? What was it?” he pushed his lips against the corner of your mouth, already knowing what you were thinking about.

”A snake…” you whispered into his ear, looking back at him with a grin.

Ashton bit his lip to hide his own cheeky smile, but pressed his hips forward to grind his hard cock against you. You hummed against his cheek as his hand made its way up your back again, back down on your side, then slowly up again, his fingers sneaking under the cup of your bikini top, softly massaging your breast. He kissed away your moans as his thumb circled your nipple, giving it a light pinch as you bit his bottom lip.

”You’re terrible,” you laughed into your kiss, his fingers still teasing your hardening nipple.

”I can stop…” he grinned, licking a line up to your ear to whisper his next words. ”If it’s too much for you…”

”Don’t you dare,” you tugged on his hair with a whimper, pulling his face back for your next kiss.

He was more than happy to kiss you back while his hands found their way up to your neck, his fingers doing quick work on the strings holding your bikini top up. When he was done with the first knot he quickly undid the other set around your back, pulling the fabric off to throw it back on the porch. His hands slid up to cup your breasts, massaging them with his palms and fingers, his lips slowly pulling away from yours to make their way down on your neck, nuzzling against your collarbone. Then you felt Ash wrap his arms around you as he slightly tilted you backwards, lips closing around one nipple to suck and bite on it, switching to the other, giving it the same attention. You threw your head back with a moan and he grinned against your skin, giving one last lick to the hard nub.

”You are absolutely gorgeous,” he pulled you back to his chest, and you grinded against his cock again.

”I want you so bad,” you whined against his lips. ”Fuck, Ash, I need you.”

”Not so quick, baby,” he kissed your jaw as he grabbed your ass, pulling you over onto his thigh, pushing it against your pussy. ”Don’t want it to be over so soon.”

”Ash, I–” you licked your lips as you rested your forehead against his temple, already moving your hips, looking for any kind of friction.

”Yes baby, just like that,” he slowly guided you as you rubbed against his thigh, helping you find the perfect spot where every movement was a delicious little stroke against your clit. ”You know exactly what you need, don’t you? Come on, don’t be shy to take it. It’s the sexiest thing ever.”

You moaned into Ashton’s mouth as he helped you grind against him quicker, working yourself towards an orgasm. Ash tugged on your bikini bottom until it slipped out of the way, making you rub against his thigh without anything between the two of you, the skin-on-skin contact the perfect friction against your swollen clit. You buried your face in his neck and he bit your earlobe, hot breath tickling you as he whispered.

”So desperate to cum, aren’t you love? You can’t stop grinding against me, you need it so badly. So fucking beautiful, baby, your needy little sounds as you try to make yourself cum on my thigh. Do it,” he kissed into your ear, hands still guiding your hips. ”Don’t hold back. Cum, baby. Cum for me.”

It was too much to take – the hot water around you, his touches and his encouraging words in your ear, his body under yours giving you the pleasure you needed. Ash pulled you in for a kiss as your orgasm washed through you, slipping his tongue in your mouth as you still worked your hips against him. You were shaking from head to toe as you slowed down, collapsing against his chest with a whimper. His lips were in your hair as he wrapped his arms around you, fingers caressing your skin as you tried to catch your breath.

”Always so beautiful,” Ashton brushed his lips against your ear, fingers sliding over your hips and into the knots of your bikini bottom, pulling on the strings.

As he slipped it off you reached for his swim trunks, rubbing your palm over his bulge, closing your own fingers around his hardness. You started to stroke him through the fabric, feeling how his cock already pulsed under your touch, and Ash threw his head back with a groan, giving you the perfect opportunity to finish a hickey on his neck. You were both desperate for the other – while you tugged off his shorts to finally feel his hot flesh in your hands, Ashton slid his hands between your legs, teasing his fingers over your sensitive pussy, rubbing them against your clit as he pulled back.

”Fuck, turn around,” he lifted you off of him, pushing himself up to sit on the edge of the tub. ”I need you to ride me.”

”You’re so bossy, ‘shton,” you let out a breathy laugh as you did as he told you, sitting back against him. ”It’s so hot.”

”Come on, babe, I need to feel you around me,” he wrapped an arm around your middle, the other sliding up to your chest to tweak your nipples.

You moaned against his neck as you reached for his hard cock, rubbing it over your wet lips and you could feel Ash grab you a little harder, holding you up against his chest. You pushed the tip of his cock against your entrance, slowly sliding down on his length, taking every inch he could give you. You rested your back against his chest as you let him stretch you, getting used to his size inside you. His lips skimmed over your neck, peppering small kisses against your skin as he slowly pulled his hips back, sliding his cock in and out of your pussy. You clenched around him with every thrust, wanting to be filled up again and again, wanting to keep him as close as you could.

”Look at you, like a fucking piece of art,” Ashton moaned in your ear, hand sliding down from your breast, over your stomach, pushing you down on his cock to take as much as you could.

You opened your eyes, catching glimpses of the last rays shining through the leaves above you, the sun painting your wet skins golden in patches. You let the heady feeling of being fucked like this take over you – in that moment you did feel like a piece of art with Ashton’s arms wrapped around you, nipples hard and breasts heaving, his hard cock pounding you into oblivion. You matched the movements of your hips to his thrusts, fucking back against him until your thighs shook, body ready to come again.

Ashton’s fingers slipped between your legs, fingertips circling around your clit while his hips rocked against you, pushing you towards your next orgasm. His lips never left your neck, kissing and whispering against your skin, his words heavy with lust as he finally lost himself in pleasure, his teeth lightly sinking into your shoulder, cock pulsing inside you. You slid your hand over his, guiding it back against your clit to press his fingers over it, helping you ride out the last of your own pleasure while he slowly fucked his cock in and out.

His arms held you close as he slid back into the water with you, resting his back against the side of the tub, breathing heavily as he came down from his high. Ash pulled you back into his lap, letting you curl up against his chest as he kissed your hair, brushing the wild curls back from your face. He nuzzled closer, brushing your lips together in a sloppy kiss, holding onto each other as your trembling bodies calmed down. You looked up at Ashton, the colour of his eyes slowly changing back to a light hazel, the smile on his face soft and sweet. There was a moment between the two of you as you brushed your thumb over his cheek, and he pressed a kiss against your knuckles.

”What’s that smile about, little moon?”

Ashton shook his head with a blush, tilting his face up to push his forehead against yours, kissing you soft and slow. You held onto him as you kissed back, giving in to the moment. You did not need words to let the other know how you felt – you could feel his heart pounding against your palm, the same fast paced rhythm that made you dizzy too as he nuzzled his face into your neck. His fingers drew wet lines on your back as he breathed you in, and you smiled as you felt him finish the small sun pattern on your shoulder blade.

”Yeah,” you sighed against his hair, kissing his temple. ”I feel the same.”

”You’re the sunshine of my life,” Ash hummed softly, wrapping you in another hug. ”My beautiful, beautiful sunshine.”

”I think it’s your time to shine now,” you smiled back at him, rubbing your noses together while your fingers caressed the moon tattoos on his arms.

”Actually, I think it’s time to get out of the water,” he laughed, pulling your wrist to his mouth, pressing his lips against your skin.

”Yeah, maybe that’s a good idea,” you kissed him one more time before pushing yourself out of his lap.

Ashton held your hand as you got out of the water, reaching for the towel he left on the bench for you. As you wrapped it around yourself he started giggling, and you looked back at him questioningly. He crossed his arms on the side of the tub, resting his chin on them, his smile crooked and full of mischief.

”What now?” you asked as you picked up your discarded clothes, and Ash just snorted again.

”Told ya you won’t be needing that bikini.”

part 1 // part 2 // part 3 // part 4 // part 5 // part 6 // part 7 // part 8 // story tag.

#ashton irwin #ashton irwin x reader #ashton irwin fanfiction #series: getaway #fiction time #afic: getaway

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iamtheblondestblonde · 4 years

Text

Slides and Serendipity

Part Eight (4.5k)

Masterlist

AN: Lots of stuff happening. Also I wrote most of this after emptying an entire bottle of cider by myself so I take no responsibility for any mistakes (yes I sunk that low)

Warnings: probably swearing (idek anymore), alcohol?

“I’m in trouble Lisa, he’s definitely trouble”, I said to my best friend as I stood in my closet, phone pressed to my ear. Ever since the party my thoughts had been running wild and I had come to the realization that I couldn’t handle being just friends with benefits with Tyler. Right now it was more like friends with one-sided feelings.

“Yeah I saw that coming from a mile away. What changed?”

I told her how I’d been the last one to leave Tyler’s house at the party last week. After dancing around with Roope and Jamie I’d sat outside for a while to cool off, Tyler joining me on the sofa not long after. He’d started pestering me for juicy details of my threesome, but Lisa and I had promised each other to not tell any specifics. As soon as he realized that I wouldn’t tell him who it was with he gave up on the topic, switching to something less intrusive instead.

We’d spent the rest of the night there, only leaving once to grab more blankets as the temperature dropped. With my legs tucked underneath me and his arm around my body, apparently I’d looked like I was cold, we’d spent hours talking and trying to see the stars dimmed by the city lights. As the time had passed I’d found myself snuggling closer and closer but at one point I practically couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore.

He tried to convince me to stay, but with my house only being a five minute walk away there was no logical reason to accept his offer, even if I really wanted to. The dogs had all found comfortable spots on his couch to sleep and the sight was so domestic that it almost broke my heart to wake Yogi up so we could leave.

Tyler had insisted on walking me home again and as I hugged him goodbye I knew that I was in some deep shit. It wasn’t like I’d actively tried to avoid falling for anyone up to this point, I’d just had a more it’ll happen when it happens approach, meaning I didn’t particularly look for anyone either.

In hindsight I should have seen it coming with the amount of time we spent with each other and the way he reminded me of the one guy I’d ever had feelings for but yet it still took me by surprise.

He’d texted me a couple of times while being away and saying that I wasn’t looking forward to his snapchats would be a lie.

“So what are you going to do now?”, Lisa asked after listening to me telling her about what happened. I had thought about this a lot, especially since Tyler had asked me to come over for a bit before his first game of the pre season tonight. I wanted to go and watch in person but Mia wasn’t free tonight and I didn’t want to go by myself, so I promised I’d cheer on him from the confines of my couch.

Mia, Jason and I had finished working on our first day together an hour ago and I had just stepped out of the shower when Lisa had finally returned my calls.

“I don’t really have a choice, either it’s just friends or something more and I’m pretty sure that that isn’t what he is looking for right now.” I didn’t want to ruin our friendship by admitting anything to him prematurely so my only option was to wait for him to take the first step.

“You don’t know that.”

“Well no but I don’t know, seems highly unlikely.”

I put her on speaker as I put on some yoga pants and a loose shirt and when I looked at my screen I saw that I had a message from Tyler.

Ty: I’m cooking do you want some?

Me: Depends on what you’re cooking because I’m not in the mood for food poisoning

Ty: Funny as always..

Ty: Pasta, salmon and some salad I think even I can handle that

I hadn’t eaten lunch yet either, so I called for Yogi and then told Lisa that I had to hang up now.

“Go get your man.”

“Fuck off Lisa.”

The weather was nice today so it came as no surprise that Gerry was enjoying the pool, Marshall and Cash still wet from having taken a dip themselves sometime before we arrived. Yogi was more than happy to join the action and I already dreaded having to brush out the tangles in his fur tonight.

The food actually smelled really good and this time I let Tyler tell me what to do, as I didn’t want to mess with any pre-game superstitions. He did let me make some adjustments to the pasta sauce though. We took our meals outside so we could properly enjoy the sunshine, something I knew we both liked to do.

I tried to act normal and I was pretty sure that I was doing a great job or at least Tyler didn’t let it on if he picked up on something being off.

It was crazy, ever since my realization my feelings had snowballed and now I found myself overthinking every little action, trying to figure out what was going on in his head while also being confused of the mess that was my thoughts.

Afterwards we settled in the media room to watch some kind of animal documentary that Jamie had recommended, but we ended up mostly just talking and laughing until it was time for his nap and for me to go home again. Time always seemed to fly with him.

“I won’t wish you good luck because you’re definitely too good for that. Have fun tonight Ty, I’ll be watching closely.”

“Thanks, I’ll try my best to put one in the net for you.”

I hugged him closely and he pressed a kiss to my temple, making my thoughts go crazy. Perhaps him leaving for over a week on a roadtrip after the game would give me some much needed distance.

He didn’t put one in the net for me that night and I felt bad for him because of the loss, even if it was still only a pre season game. The team had been doing well after that, winning the following two games but Tyler hadn’t been on the ice for those.

Mia had asked me to go out with her because Elias would be staying with her grandparents for the weekend and without having any say in it I found myself in a crowded country bar on a Saturday evening. I’d even donned some boots that Mia had dug up from somewhere but I drew the line at the jeans shorts and a flannel, opting for long skinny jeans and a normal shirt instead. The boots were cute but I was nowhere near a country girl so the full get-up would only feel phony.

Mia taught me some dance moves and I even tried riding the bull-thingy, unsurprisingly not lasting very long. It did make me thirsty though so I made my way over to the bar, which offered a broad selection of beers to my delight.

“I could give you some lessons if you want me to”, I heard a voice next to me. I turned to my left and recognized the guy who had sat on the bull before me. While the time he lasted on the damn thing was impressive in itself, I’d been more captivated by his looks.

He had given me a ‘The Longest Ride’ vibe from the moment I laid eyes on him, a dark haired version of Scott Eastwood. For a second I contemplated shooting him down, but he gave off genuinely nice guy vibes with his bright smile and I could really use the distraction right now.

“How about we start with a drink instead?”, I asked, giving him my best smile. He chuckled but waved over the bartender nevertheless, ordering a round of shots and beer after taking a look at the bottle that I had in my hand.

His name was Mark and he had to lean down to hear me because he was so tall. This made me miss my heels but I also kind of liked the way he had to get close to me during our conversation at the bar.

“I’m actually here with a friend though and I don’t want to abandon her.”

“No need for that, why don’t you just bring her over to our booth over there?” He pointed over to a small group of guys that could have made up the cover of a cowboy calendar. Mia would be more than happy to spend some time with them.

She didn’t mind at all, of course, only telling me that this reminded her of our days in college when we didn’t have to spend any money at all and still stumbled out of the club drunk.

Hours later I was still dancing with Mark but what had started innocently was not so innocent by now. He had taken off his flannel long ago and his cowboy hat was now firmly planted on my hair while got to enjoy his tan skin and muscular built, results of hard work on his horse ranch.

I hadn’t gotten laid in almost two months and all the confusion from the situation with Tyler made me want to go further than I usually did with random strangers. It also helped that he could be the lead actor in any country romance movie. Mia seemed to really get along with one of his friends who promised to take good care of her and gave me his address so I could hunt him down if needed. Let’s just say it wasn’t like she minded me disappearing either.

It wasn’t until the next morning, after seeing Mark out, that I realized that I had forgotten to check on Tyler’s game, his messages from last night still unopened and portraying the frustration he felt after playing and having to watch Minnesota put six in the net.

Tonight I would finally get to watch Tyler play. I had to miss the game on Thursday because I had to attend some meetings for Bumble in Austin yesterday but now it was finally time.

After a brutal workout at the gym I’d gone over to his house in the morning to make breakfast after his morning skate, something that had somehow turned into our weekend routine.

It was the last game of the pre season and against Denver out of all teams. Mara had texted me earlier to tell me that while she was still rooting for the Avs, she wouldn’t be mad if they lost tonight, which was a compliment in itself.

Mia had arranged for a sitter so she could come to the game with me and I insisted on going over to AAC early so we could watch the warmups, wanting her to get the full experience for her very first ice hockey game. I didn’t have a Stars jersey but I did own a hoodie in victory green. Tyler had offered to hook me up with some merch but I declined because I honestly couldn’t handle wearing his jersey right now.

Mark had been an alright distraction but as soon as I saw Tyler again after the trip I was reminded of the mixed feelings that I was desperately trying to get in order.

The sex with Mark had been fun, although not mindblowing, and under different circumstances I probably would have hooked up with him again but I needed to get my shit together first. While throwing myself under someone else to get over whatever this thing with Tyler was sounded very appealing, I knew that it would only distract me for so long.

Mia honked from my driveway, ripping me out of my thoughts and I checked Yogi’s food and water again before grabbing my things and making my way out of the door. Following Emily’s recommendation I had installed a doggy door that would only open when a chip in his collar got close, meaning he was free to roam the backyard as he wished while still not enabling any instrusions. It was kind of ugly but I’d figure out a way to make it look good. This way he would be fine on his own for the next couple of hours at least.

I could tell that Mia was excited, her choice of music only pumping her up even more. I was really looking forward to this as well. My last hockey game had been during the playoffs in Denver and while watching the games on TV so far was fine, nothing beat watching them live.

We were early enough to still snatch a spot up at the glass for warmups next to a family, something I’d never experienced either. Whenever I’d go with the girls one of us had always taken longer than planned so by the time we’d make it to the arena we could only watch from our seats.

Mia and I had seen each other almost every day of the week so far, but yet we still found things to talk about until the guys finally stepped onto the ice. After passing some pucks Tyler skated a lap around the rink, stopping in front of us when he finally spotted me.

“Look who finally made it”, he teased and I was tempted to flip him off but I was also very aware of the many eyes watching our every move so I only stuck my tongue out at him.

“Yeah and you better win tonight or I’m not coming again.” I was kidding of course.

“I guess I have no choice then.”

“I know you’ll do great. Go ahead and crush them”, I said and he looked like he wanted to say something, but then stopped himself, which of course only made me curious. It was times like this where I was almost convinced that perhaps he liked me back as well but I knew how unlikely that was. I might not be a professional athlete but I did understand the perks of not settling down as well.

He was called over for some drills, effectively breaking the look we shared right now and he shot a quick smile at me before tapping his stick to the glass and then skating off.

“Just friends my ass”, Mia whispered in my ear and I elbowed her in turn. I was surprised that she’d picked up on the weird tension between Tyler and I. We’d talked about him a couple of times during the week, especially as we’d made plans for the game tonight, but I hadn’t told anyone but Lisa about my current dilemma. She sensed I wasn’t in the mood to elaborate though and quickly let it go after that, which I was really thankful for.

After the warmups we decided to grab some food and drinks before finally settling in our seats. Katie had asked us to join her and the others up in the box but I declined, wanting to spend some one on one time with an old friend during the game. Besides I’d be up there during opening night soon enough.

The game wasn’t off to a very good start and while the first period was action packed on both sides, it left the Stars trailing behind by two goals. Mia was a bit confused at first but I gave her a quick crash course and soon enough she picked up on the mood in the arena, following the lead of the other fans on when to cheer and when to boo.

I used intermission to wait in the ridiculously long line for the restrooms and to check my phone, Mara flooding the group chat with messages that were practically a play by play of the game. I shot a quick text to Tyler, even if I knew that he probably wouldn’t get a look at his phone until after the game.

It was different to watch a game when you actually knew the players on the ice. I probably hadn’t been this on the edge of my seat during any sporting event since the soccer world cup finals in 2014.

After Tyler finally scored my screaming could probably be heard by Mara all the way in Denver. Mia and I were hugging each other, way too excited for the Avs still being in the lead.

Colorado scored again in the third and at this point I was already considering my options on how to cheer Tyler up. Mentally I was already going through my cute animals folder to pick out the cutest puppies to show Tyler afterwards, something that always made me feel better.

With less than four minutes left the Stars scored and Tyler had the assist so it was back to screaming and jumping for Mia and I. By the time Jamie scored to even out the score we were practically wrapped around each other, hoping for one last goal.

It didn’t happen and overtime wasn’t any better, not for lack of trying though.

“Your first time watching a hockey game and you get to watch a shootout you lucky bitch.”

“I’m just glad because this time it will be easy to follow the puck, the stupid thing moves so fast that I lose it every few seconds.”

At this point we couldn’t even stay seated if we wanted to, not that we did, because everyone else was on their feet to see what would happen. Shootouts were always brutal and not for the first time that night I was glad that I’d put on some lipstick because otherwise my lips would probably bleed from constantly biting them. Life hack by the way.

With the sound of the final buzzer I was pulled into the arms of the middle aged man to my left that I had never seen before, but I didn’t mind because I was so happy that the Stars had won. For this being only a pre season game things surely had escalated quickly.

Mia was still buzzing by the time we made our way out of the arena, enthusiastically recounting her favorite moments of the game. She would probably never watch games on TV but I knew from experience that it was hard not to fall for hockey when you got to watch games live. Perhaps I could take her again sometime, I had a feeling that she’d like glass seats even better.

The amount of fans trying to leave at the same time had slowed us down quite a bit so we were still at the parking garage when I felt my phone buzz with a call.

“Hey Ty what’s up?”

“Sorry I just got out of the shower or I would have called sooner but I wanted to ask if you want to come out with us tonight. You should bring your friend too, we’re celebrating the end of a good pre season.”

I really tried not to think of him dripping wet from his shower but it still took me a couple of seconds to relay his invitation to Mia.

“Sorry I can’t, the sitter can’t stay over that late but you should definitely go out with them.” I didn’t want to abandon Mia in the parking lot like this, but she practically forced me to say yes and not soon after I was led through the arena by a security guard that Tyler had sent.

There was a group already waiting outside the locker rooms when I arrived, some of the guys greeting me enthusiastically. Roope even went as far as to lift me up so he could spin me around, saying that I was their good luck charm. I didn’t spot Tyler yet but I did see some of the girls so I made my way over to them. Some people must have already left, especially the players with kids, but the group was still big due to some of the rookies coming along as well.

I was just talking to Katie and Dominika about the game when I felt strong arms wrap around me from behind. By now I was very familiar with Tyler’s scent so I didn’t even hesitate before reaching up to put my hands on his forearms, tilting my head so I could smile up at him.

“We won so that means you can never miss a home game again”, he said and I laughed, not quite remembering that part of the agreement but also not willing to protest either.

The group must have finally been complete because now everyone was walking towards the exit, making a lot of noise and drawing looks from the few remaining employees.

I’d gotten my fair share of VIP treatment, money does solve a lot of problems after all, but yet I never really got used to the judging looks of people when security guards usher you through. The bouncers didn’t even question the presence of the rookies, even though some of them were definitely still underage, yet another bonus. It was the same club I’d been to with the girls a couple of weeks ago but up in the lounge everything was much more relaxed and the tables were actually clean.

“First round of shots is on me as a thank you for being so nice to me ever since I met all of you”, I called out before handing the waitress my credit card, loud cheering erupting from the rest of the group.

“Ooof our sugar mama, look at that shiny black”, Katie whooped and I just winked at her, receiving a kiss on the cheek in return. Meeting Tyler had been great in itself, but the friends I had made through him were a close second. I’d endure an eternity of unrequited feelings if it meant getting to keep everyone else in my life.

Several rounds of shots later I was out of breath from all the dancing, choosing to take a break in the lounge once again. Our group was split up by now, some lingering up here and others still tearing up the dance floor. I’d done my fair share of dancing as well, jumping around with the boys and pulling out the sexy moves with the girls. Hockey players definitely came in clutch for that part, as not a single guy came up to bother us, too scared of the human fridges that always kept a watchful eyes on us.

I’d danced with Tyler the most, his slight lack of rhythm being a great excuse to make him wrap his arms around me so I could ‘guide’ him. Perhaps I was a masochist after all.

I could spot Esa and Anna having a dance off with Klinger and Fanny from my spot against the railing and I watched them for a while before looking around some more.

Tyler was standing close to the bar, currently talking to one of his friends that had arrived some time after us. Tonight had been the first night where I could see his NHL fame in full action and it was both mesmerizing and terrifying to watch.

At all the other parties he’d known the other guests to some capacity at least so it wasn’t as bad, but tonight I got to watch girls literally throw themselves at him. Yes literally, I’d watched one of them ‘accidentally’ trip so he had to prevent her from falling not long ago. Some waited until I left his side, some just straight up didn’t care, interrupting our conversations or dancing without any regard for me. To my surprise I’d seen him turn down every single one of them so far but it was like a Roman battle formation, others always stepped up to close the gap. They were hot, there was no doubt about that and if I’d swing that way I’d definitely pick up some of them myself.

“I’m surprised Tyler let you out of his reach.” Roope’s voice ripped me out of my people watching trance and I looked up to him in question.

“I just overheard some of the rookies talking about how you’re fair game because they think that he hasn’t locked you down yet. I kinda want one of them to make a move so I can watch him put them in their place, he knows what’s going on.”

“You’re being mean. You were a rookie not so long ago.”

“Yeah and I had to deal with lots of shit so now it’s my turn.” I only shook my head at his ridiculousness, not really wanting to respond to his statement. Technically they were right and no matter how much I tried to convince myself of the opposite, that definitely stung a little bit.

“I’m being a good friend right now so I’m telling you that there’s this girl who’s been looking at you all evening and she looks like she’s nice. You could even braid each other’s hair,” I deflected, pointing towards the girl in question. Roope shoved me before flipping me off but his smile said that he’d go down to talk to her either way.

I chugged down the last few sips of my beer, quickly making my way back downstairs before any of the rookies could act out on their stupid idea. I doubted that Tyler would actually lash out at them if they did but I also didn’t want to tempt fate. Tyler waved me over as soon as he saw me walking down the stairs and I slowly made my way towards him, the writhing sweaty bodies and my height, or lack thereof, not helping at all.

I wasn’t even surprised anymore when he pulled me towards him as soon as I finally made it. Despite his bad boy looks I knew by now that he was a big teddy bear who loved to cuddle, the alcohol only making it worse. Or better, because he gave amazing hugs. He’d introduced me to his friend a while ago and I seamlessly slipped into their conversation until Tyler took me by surprise when he asked me if I was ready to leave yet. A closer look made it clear how exhausted he really was, his tired eyes not something I’d noticed up until this point.

“I honestly would’ve just gone straight home after the game but the others practically forced me to invite you along so I had no other choice because I wanted to spend some time with you”, he said once we had made ourselves comfortable in the backseat of the uber.

My heart was doing somersaults of course but my brain told me that it couldn’t keep up reminding me for much longer that there was no way he actually liked me back. I’d never been on this side of feelings and I definitely wasn’t handling it well.

#Slides and Serendipity #tyler seguin imagine #tyler seguin fanfiction #Tyler Seguin #Dallas #dallas stars #nhl imagine #nhl #hot hockey players #nhl writing

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jaxsteamblog · 4 years

Text

Home

Click here to read the full fic on AO3

It was weird having other people pack her things. Granted, Katara had absolutely no free time, but it was still odd to be in the middle of a meeting and know that other people were sorting through her clothes and packing up her books.

For the fall, she was going to stay at the Avatar’s residence in Republic City with Thuy’s instructors. While Thuy was still firmly entrenched in her earthbending training, it had been common practice that all of the instructors would live together to oversee all aspects of the Avatar’s training.

Having spoken directly to Kyoshi, Thuy understood that Kuruk’s companions had been very close, so at first she had enjoyed living with them. Katara was optimistic about the situation, since she was at the very least friendly with everyone that would be there.

She was less excited about Thuy’s animal guide though. A giant catgator was not ideal to keep around.

When everything was packed and ready to go, Katara met with Rohan in the library. They still had their head shaved, but wore normal clothes. It was odd to see the blue tattoo run up the back of their head, but mostly it was due to the climate and less to do with their fashion.

“Are you ready to go?” Katara asked. Rohan turned, holding up a heavy tome.

“Can I take this?” They asked.

“Sure. But what is it?” She replied.

“A philosophy book. I think Meelo would like it.”

“Meelo?”

“Hey, me and my siblings are all complex and nuanced.” Rohan tucked the book under their arm with a smile. “Let’s head out.”

Since riding on Dawa months ago, Katara actually preferred it to normal flight travel if she was the only passenger. There weren’t a lot of flights in or out of the Poles, so the environmental cost was hefty each time. So when she could, Katara often asked Rohan for a ride. It helped since they were going in the same direction and Rohan had been staying in the Northern Air Temple.

As they walked out of the palace, Katara watched them in silence for a moment.

“Rohan?”

“Hmm?”

“Did you ever get to meet Aang?”

Rohan’s eyebrows shot up but they still looked forward.

“Well yeah. I was seven when Pop-Pop died.” They answered.

“Is it weird, being around Thuy?” Katara asked.

Rohan sighed and tilted their head from side to side.

“Sometimes. Like at her birthday party and seeing Pop sad. But he was my grandfather, you know? And he was busy with the war. Well, so was Pop. But anyway, my mom says I’m a lot like Pop-Pop so mostly I’m just glad that Thuy likes me.” They explained.

“Does Thuy talk to him?”

“Yeah, but we don’t ask.” Rohan said with a laugh. “That’s just a little too much.”

They then sighed again and rubbed the back of their head.

“Honestly, I miss my aunt Yangzom. She idolized Avatar Kyoshi and married a Kyoshi Warrior, using the excuse of protecting her spouse as a way to wriggle around her monastic vows. She kicked serious Fire Nation butt.” They said.

“Did she?” Katara asked.

“Yeah, she and aunt Jun died when the Fire Nation was taking a mining town.” Rohan cleared their throat before continuing. “Jun’s fans had been wrapped in orange robes.”

“I’m sorry Rohan.” Katara said softly.

Rohan finally turned to her and smiled. “It’s fine. It’s good to speak of the dead. It lets them know we still love and honor them.”

Katara touched her necklace and smiled back.

“Did I tell you that I think Suki and I are related because of aunt Jun?” Rohan asked excitedly. Katara laughed and shook her head.

Rohan talked about their family for the whole trip, and it was interesting to hear. They definitely had a different perspective on the Air Nomads than Tenzin, and it amused Katara to think of the future council meetings.

When they arrived at Avatar Island, Thuy was there to meet them. She had grown since her party and was as tall as Katara now. As they hugged, Katara could smell the dirt in Thuy’s hair. But as she smiled she heard a threatening hiss from the ground.

“Oh stop that.” Thuy turned and put her hands on her hips, glaring down at the catgator. “You’re old friends by now.”

“Mister Whiskers.” Katara greeted with a flat tone.

“Avatar Roku’s dragon was named Fang.” Rohan remarked playfully. “Very intimidating.”

Thuy rolled her eyes and held out her arms as she faced them.

“I was four, okay? And I didn’t have any fancy Fire Nation pride or fun Air Nomad names.” She stated. “She has whiskers and she’s dignified. Her name is Mister Whiskers.”

“How on earth did a toddler befriend a catgator?” Katara questioned.

“Let’s just say if I wasn’t the Avatar and Mister Whiskers was a regular catgator, then she would’ve gotten me and not just Uncle Farid’s arm.” Thuy replied.

“This is bizarre.” Rohan said. Thuy pouted and knelt on the ground, wrapping her arms around Mister Whiskers’ flat head.

“Hey, Mister Whiskers ate two Fire Nation soldiers for me!” She said. Both Rohan and Katara held up their hands.

“Fair enough.” Rohan said.

“Katara!” Zuko called and Katara lifted her head.

Of course she knew that her priority was in handling Thuy’s affairs, but she had been looking forward to this most of all.

“Zuko!” Rohan yelled and ran to intercept him. Katara and Thuy laughed as Rohan launched themself skyward, only to have Zuko crabwalk to make sure he caught them. Landing lightly, Rohan put their arms around Zuko and said something. Zuko only shook his head and continued walking, still carrying Rohan.

“Pop-Pop would’ve really liked you.” Rohan stated when they were all together.

“The Avatar?” Zuko asked, dipping down to let Rohan free.

“I already do like him.” Thuy said and then stuck out her tongue as Rohan rolled their eyes.

“Shouldn’t you be training?” Katara asked.

“Sifu Toph is still asleep.” Thuy said.

“We all know that’s not a real answer.” Zuko countered. Thuy stood still, trying to maintain her bluff, but finally let out a breath and ran off. Mister Whiskers moved frighteningly fast after her.

“That thing terrifies me.” Katara announced.

“Oh yeah. You do not want to run into Mister Whiskers in the middle of the night.” Zuko said and shuddered.

Their days were spent in a leisurely routine. Toph dominated most of Thuy’s time with rigorous training. Earthbenders usually split their time between strengthening their bodies and controlling their bending. Toph, a stout but slender woman, definitely had Thuy lifting weights, but spent more of her time teaching Thuy how to see with her feet.

That was what made Toph an extraordinary Bender, more so than the metalbending. She was so completely in tune with her element that she didn’t need to be a bulk of muscles to do impressive feats of strength. Thuy excelled very quickly and was excited by the prospect of being able to see in the dark.

Zuko still hovered during a lot of those training sessions as he argued with Toph about chi and specific points in the feet and hands that were important to Firebenders. As Thuy ran around without shoes, Zuko worried that she was blocking off part of her chi circulation. Toph argued that Thuy couldn’t continuously have tenderfeet, as that would lead to more injuries. Katara, always having to step in as a mediator, created a simple compromise; after every training session, Thuy had to go to undergo acupressure.

Oddly enough, the best practitioner Zuko could find was one of Azula’s former friends, and there was a bit of awkwardness when Ty Lee arrived. Luckily, she, Thuy, and Rohan were all kindred spirits and she assimilated quickly.

Ty Lee and Rohan got on remarkably well in fact. When they started to disappear, Katara tried not to ask questions.

Katara’s role hadn’t changed much from the duties she had as a queen. Instead of managing the finances and policies of the three tribes, she instead was taking a break to manage the finances and schedule of the Avatar. Gifts had to be sorted, invitations answered, and documents proofread. In the evenings, she, Zuko, and Thuy would sit together and go over various things.

Every single city-kingdom within the Earth Kingdom was upset by this arrangement. Having two heads of state directly advise the Avatar was a terrible concept on paper. And Katara would admit that there were times that she wished she could always act in the best interests of her people instead of constantly being diplomatic. But that was what always rose to the top, for both Katara and Zuko; they wanted to guide Thuy into being the best Avatar she could be.

In this rare time of peace, it was the best opportunity, and they both felt like they had earned this from their time in the war.

Also, the only thing that made Thuy actually sit and listen for the whole time was their promising to talk about their wedding plans with her.

At night, Zuko and Katara had to go their separate ways. Their unification could be a euphemism but was always a very real, tangible thing. If they were going to sleep together, it had to be approved by their people, as it would - on the stage of global politics - be two kingdoms that went to bed.

It took Katara longer and longer to fall asleep the longer she stayed on the island. When the fall ended, she would be taking Thuy on her political visits while Zuko went back to the Fire Nation. Katara would have to visit the Swamp Tribe and leave Thuy there with Toph while she continued onto the South Pole. Then, before the spring equinox, she would have to return to the North Pole.

Never would it feel like going home.

With Katara’s new position, Sokka felt more comfortable closing the shop. It was actually preferable as his business had exploded; many wealthy patrons were obviously trying to buy access to the Avatar but Sokka was smart. He and Suki had visited a handful of times already and brought piles of gifts for Thuy; all of which had been distributed to various organizations or charities and the presenters had been sent a lovely thank you note from Thuy.

Still, all in all the palace was a lonely place. It made Sokka feel weird and he made a point of avoiding the Spirit Oasis. But at the South Pole, everyone treated her differently. Katara had wanted what Sokka had, a quiet life doing enjoyable work. Instead, she ruled a kingdom split over three continents.

With a heavy sigh, Katara threw off her blanket and got out of bed. The light of the full moon trickled in from her blinds and light enough of a path for her to make it to her door.

The hallway felt the same way her body did; dry, warm, and in need of a tall glass of water. But as she made her way down to the kitchens, she heard someone clattering around.

Expecting to find Rohan rummaging through the pantry, Katara leaped into the doorway with a yell.

Zuko dropped a teapot and swore colorfully.

“Oh no! I’m sorry, I thought you were Rohan.” Katara said and rushed into the kitchen. Zuko knelt down and picked up the pieces of the teapot.

“It’s okay. I know how to repair this.” He said and stood up, holding the large pieces in his hands. He looked at them, tilting his hands slightly to catch the light in the outer glaze.

“What I love about Kintsugi is that the beauty comes from the fixing, not from the damage itself.” Zuko looked up at her and Katara suddenly felt embarrassed.

“So, want some tea?” He asked as he walked over to the counter.

“Sure, but why are you up so late?” Katara replied and followed him.

“Couldn’t sleep.”

Katara pushed herself up onto the counter and watched Zuko make tea. There was an electric kettle with settings for different types of tea, but Zuko chose a metal kettle and heated it himself. It was a slow process and Katara flicked her gaze from his face to his hands.

“Why do you bend like that?” She questioned. Zuko looked up at her, confused.

“Like what?”

“Like you’re not a Firebender. You don’t do a lot of, you know,” Katara paused to make quick, jabbing punches in the air. “Firebender stuff.”

“I absolutely still do a lot of that.” Zuko retorted, clearly offended. “I am and will always be a true Firebender.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant, you’re very,” Katara struggled to find the right word and strained over it. “Adaptable?”

Zuko looked down at the kettle, staring at it intensely. After a moment, he decided the water was hot enough and set it on the stove to prepare a new teapot.

“I am going to tell you something I have never told anyone.” He said as he opened up a cupboard.

Gripping the edge of the counter, Katara stayed quiet. Zuko rummaged through the cupboard and pulled out a tea tin, examining its label before replacing it.

“I met Avatar Aang.” He said.

Katara still stayed quiet and Zuko pulled out another tea tin, approving of its label and prying open the lid.

“It was just before he died. He came to the palace to speak to my grandfather. I was nine, so obviously I wasn’t allowed to officially meet him since he was trying to persuade my grandfather to stop the war.” Zuko scoffed and scooped tea into the teapot’s strainer. “I was only the son of the second born prince of the Fire Lord. I was a nobody.”

“And now you’re the Fire Lord, making his own tea in the Avatar’s house.” Katara interjected. Zuko chuckled and pointed the tea scoop at her.

“A vast improvement to be sure.” He said. He then continued making the tea and with his story.

“I snuck out that night while they were all at dinner. I remember my main reason for doing so was because we had to eat vegetarian since Aang was and I didn’t know what that meant.” Zuko poured water into the teapot and slid on the lid.

“Well, they had all been arguing and suddenly out comes this really old guy. I mean, he looked better than my grandfather, but ancient was ancient. He looked really angry and I wasn’t supposed to be out of bed, so I was terrified. I thought he was going to drag me into the dining hall or something.” Zuko shook his head and leaned against the counter next to where Katara sat, crossing his arms over his chest. “But instead, when he saw me, he just smiled. He knelt down and introduced himself to me, looking very interested in what a nine-year-old nobody had to say. And then, I’ll never forget this, he put his hand on my shoulder and looked directly at me and said, ‘Zuko, be better than them.’ And then he got up and walked away.”

Zuko paused for a moment, staring off into space, and then turned around to pour the tea. He spoke as he handed Katara her cup.

“He sent me a gift for my tenth birthday a few weeks later. Aang had written on the inside of the wrapping paper, saying he hoped I’d be friends with the next Avatar. He had died while the gift was in transit.” He concluded.

“How did that impact your bending?” Katara asked, rolling the teacup gently between her hands.

“Azula was always a better Firebender than me. But I could be a better Bender. I could be like the Avatar and respect all of the elements and use their teachings to live a more harmonious life.” Zuko brought his teacup to his lips but hesitated, suddenly laughing. “I mean, as a kid it was all because I thought I had some grand destiny and was a self important idiot. But during the war, my uncle really helped me get my head sorted and I was able to put it together.”

They drank their tea and Katara sighed in contentment.

“What are you going to do when you go home?” She asked.

“What do you mean? I am home.” Zuko replied. He set down his teacup and held Katara’s hand as she set hers down before sliding off the counter.

“I’ve put out the fire wall in the throne room, dismantled statues, and closed up other manors. I have the palace, and I have you. One for work, and one for home.” He continued softly, holding onto her chin. He kissed her and Katara’s breath fluttered in her chest.

A door opened nearby and Katara jumped, making them both laugh even as voices approached. Rohan and Ty Lee walked into the kitchen and stared.

“It’s about time you two got back.” Katara snapped. Ty Lee looked mortified while Rohan just laughed.

“What are you old farts doing up so late? It’s way past your bedtime.” They retorted.

“You’re three years younger than me.” Zuko said.

“And yet you act like my Pop.” Rohan clicked their tongue while shaking their head. “What a waste of youth.”

“Did you want any tea?” Katara asked.

“Sure!” Ty Lee chirped. Rohan went around to rummage through the pantry and found a bag of cookies, turning the quiet moment into a midnight tea party. That woke up Thuy and Toph, making the whole thing an event. They laughed and chatted, mostly about a new video game Rohan and Thuy were playing. At one point, Zuko took Katara’s hand and squeezed it. A gentle reminder that they were home.

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#zutara #fanfiction #jax writes #modern au #zutara month 2020 #the fic that prompts built

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queenbirbs · 4 years

Text

the way home | Ch. 2 | Edward x MC

Pairing: Edward Mortemer x MC

Word count: 1,977

Summary: In which traveling to the past is only half the battle; or: Elena finds her way back.

Warnings: language, some violence

Read from the beginning or continue on Read on AO3

Tag list: @writinghereandthere

------

Throngs of people breeze through the streets of the port town, unfazed by the stacks of boards and pallets of bricks that block sections of the main route.

The hurricane’s damage is much more obvious this close: swatches of roofs torn away, replaced with makeshift sheets of tin, the steeple of a nearby church gone, with only splinters remaining. Elena recalls the story about how she saved her home from a hurricane and hopes that she hasn’t arrived too late. Having wasted time doubling back to her buried bag and stowing away the clothes she arrived in, she hurries through the packed streets as best she can. The new boots pinch at her feet with every step. It would be nice, she bemuses, if she could keep her clothes with her when she travels back in time.

“Would’ve saved me a fortune,” she mutters, navigating around two men haggling on the price of a goat.

Complaints aside, she loves the feel of the silk vest against her skin, of the fresh leather across her hip where her new sword gleams in its holster. She even bought a cavalier hat, excusing its purchase with the protection from the sun it offered.

It’s nice to be back, to resume her role as Elena McTavish, infamous pirate. The years of holing up in her sister’s apartment or Robert’s hotel rooms, scouring documents and scrolling through endless message boards for time-traveling artifacts was no life to call her own. The occasional trip to Calgary or Edinburgh or New Orleans to hunt down a lead was the closest she ever came to a real adventure back home.

Up ahead, she spots the tavern and winds her way through the crowd to reach it. The inside is as dimly lit as any other pub she’s been to, no matter the century. Ignoring the jeer of a drunken man near the door, she makes her way to the table Robert has commandeered near the back. His new attire fits him well, colored dark as to blend in with the shadows -- just as he likes. He slides a mug to her before launching into his update.

“I found us a ship. Decent crew. They need four extra hands.”

Elena sips at the ale and raises her brow. “Did you tell them that the two of us are just as good as four men?”

“Aye, that I did.” A smirk flashes behind his mug. “They agreed to take us aboard. I told ‘em that we’re interested in finding an associate who’s likely to be farther north. As it so happens, that’s where they’re headed for a trade route.”

“Did they know anything about--”

“You know as well as I do that Edward has made enemies -- none as big as the Admiral, but enemies nonetheless. I thought it wise to keep mum about who exactly we’re looking for, especially when they’re our ride out of here.”

Elena frowns, though she dips her head in acknowledgement to his point. “I asked the ladies in the shop, but they didn’t recognize his name. This port gets its fair share of traffic.”

“Aye, we’ll have better luck with the smaller islands.” After a subtle glance at the other patrons, Robert leans over the table and drops his voice to a mumble. “I managed to find a few of my old contacts. Both of them said the same thing: that he’s offering a bounty of sorts for information on you.”

She takes a slow sip of her drink and attempts to act nonplussed. “When did they hear about this bounty? Recently, or…?”

“Within the last three months. So, that tells us that he’s in the area.”

“Yeah,” she sighs, unable to hide the daunting weight to her words, “the area of one million square miles.”

“Oi.” He nudges her arm, bringing her sour gaze up from her mug and back to him. “The hardest part is over. We made it back -- and this time, hopefully, for good. Don’t beat yerself up. I told you that I’d stick with you until we find him, and I will.”

Elena settles in her chair, holding back the relieved sigh that’s building in her chest. She doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing how much that means to her.

On their first return, he’d all but left her in the dust when the wormhole they used spit them out in a church in Salvador, down on Brazil’s coast. When their time ran out and they were both sucked back to the future a few weeks later, the leopard had changed its spots, so to speak, and Robert admitted his own faults with trying to go at it alone.

“How do you manage to slip back into the accent so well?” she asks, unsubtly changing the topic at hand.

“Helps if you learned to do so in the first place. When you first showed up, you hardly attempted to assimilate. Didn’t help you any when you waved yer mobile about.”

“Says the man who stuffed gunpowder into little tubes and tried to pass it off as an original idea? And it’s not my fault that I ended up being put on trial! Edward was the one who broke the Code by letting me come aboard.”

Robert shrugs off her point, hiding his grin behind the glass.

“We would’ve shot you first, if that’s any consolation.”

“Honestly, as someone who swam half a mile in a dress, it is.”

------

Adjusting the sails alongside Rhodes, the ship’s boatswain, Elena looks out across the deck of the Little Death and to the green spot on the horizon.

The ragtag crew welcomed them with somewhat open arms, more desperate than anything else to have help running their sloop. It didn’t hurt, of course, that Elena and Robert knew their way around boarding and pillaging merchant ships. On their journey from Santo Domingo’s port, they manage to pin down two ships along Hispaniola's southern shore, and then another as they pass by Tortuga, long abandoned by the buccaneers that ran it during the mid-seventeenth century. After stopping briefly in the West Indies to gather more crew, they head north into Great Britain’s territory. The islands here are smaller, clustered together within twenty to sixty nautical miles of each other.

“Sail ho!” someone cries from up in the crow’s nest. “Got a brig comin’ ‘round to starboard!”

Along with everyone else, Elena eagerly searches the expanse of water. The Red Duster flag fades into view soon enough. She frowns at the British merchant vessel, turning the ugly flare of disappointment into fierce determination when she boards it twenty minutes later.

The merchant crew is really no match, she finds, after tying several of the men together with their own twine. Captain Delaney, a chiseled man without a single ounce of humor in his entire body, gets right to business with giving his crew orders on what to plunder.

“Montgomery and Lear, supplies!” he shouts.

Snapping into action, Elena and Robert disappear down the ladder and into the ship’s hull. It had been his idea, of course, to use fake surnames. There was no need for their temporary crew to know their real names, especially with the rumor of a reward for--

“McTavish!” a voice blurts from the darkened corridor.

Her step falters; she knocks her shoulder against the wall before righting herself.

“Keep moving,” Robert hisses in her ear, brushing past to hide her from immediate line of sight.

“Shut up!” Rhodes demands over the sickening slap of skin on skin.

“What if it’s--”

“It’s not,” Robert cuts her off, bending down and shoving a crate of supplies into her lax hold. “If it were, they’d call you by yer given name.” He moves about the room as he speaks, pitching his voice below whoever is outside calling for her. “Don’t look at them. Make them think they’re just confused.”

Shifting the crate in her grip, Elena nods her head. “Got it.”

“C’mon.” He dumps a smaller box on top of hers in an effort to hide her face. “If the captain wants more’n this, he can send down another--”

“Elena McTavish!” the voice cries again when they exit the room. “I know it’s you -- it’s me, Doyle! Officer Doyle! Please, you can’t let them kill me!”

Behind her mountain of supplies, Elena rolls her eyes at his begging. Robert’s nudge at her back urges her to ignore the man. Their path is blocked by other members of the crew waiting their turn to return to the deck, leaving her at the mercy of Doyle’s pitiful wails. “I -- I have a family, now, a wife and a little boy. Please, you have to tell them to let me go!”

“Oi!” Rhodes knocks him back against the wall with a kick to his ribs. “What did I say?”

“I’m sorry, please, I’ll -- I just -- Elena, please, I helped you when--”

“For god’s sake, shut up!” she snarls. She turns on her heel to face him, but Robert blocks her with his own bulky crate. “We aren’t going to kill you, you idiot. And my name isn’t McTavish. I’ve never met you before in my life.”

“I don’t understand. Please, Elena, you’re my only hope! You can vouch for--”

“Rhodes?” she calls down the corridor.

The sharp thunk of skull meeting wood echoes through the small space. Her lungs seize, unable to see the damage for herself as guilt races through her.

“You’ve a soft heart, Rhodes,” another of their crew says with a smirk. “I woulda done more’n knock him out.”

Elena clenches her jaw against the grating noise of laughter. Robert joins in, adding his own insult that gets them going once more. Adjusting his load, he reaches down and pats her arm, nodding at the question in her eyes. She welcomes the breath of relief that fills her lungs.

After they leave the merchant ship behind, Rhodes approaches her out on the deck. He drapes his arm around her shoulder in a casual gesture. Elena decides to ignore the gaze he seemingly has trained on her breasts.

“I thought your name was Elena Montgomery?”

“It is,” she scoffs. “Moron mistook me for some poor lass, I guess.”

“Hmm. Poor lass indeed,” he agrees.

Glancing up, his face tightens around a grimace before his smirk springs back. His hand squeezes her shoulder for a beat before he moves off with a wink.

“God, could he be any more obvious?” she asks without bothering to look up from her task.

Robert grunts in agreement, chuckling under his breath.

“Aye, he’s probably considering what he could buy himself with that many pieces of eight.”

“How many, exactly?” Elena questions, curious.

“Six-hundred, according to my contacts.”

Her jaw drops a fraction before she snaps her mouth closed. “The same payout as losing an arm, depending on a ship’s Code. Which is, I imagine, what Edward’ll do if Rhodes here threatens you to get that coin.”

“That’s…” she trails off, still trying to move past the sum.

“Not his best play, I’ll give you that.” He tips his head to the side in consideration. “But it keeps mouths moving, keeps people looking.”

Finishing off her last knot, Elena shifts to lean against the railing. She could corner Rhodes when night comes and threaten to slice his balls off if he tells anyone else -- but then that would be all the convincing he would need. Keeping her head down is probably the best way to go about it, but that runs the risk of him feeling brave enough to pull a stunt on her down the line.

“Dead men tell no tales,” she recites in a sing-songy tone.

Robert steps up to join her at the railing and crosses his arms, glaring out over the deck at the man in question.

“Leave him to me.”

#edward x mc #edward mortemer #distant shores #distant shores fic #Kaila writes things #f: the way home #I think tumblr is finally letting me tag people so if you'd like to be tagged just let me know!#I know some people in the past requested to be tagged but it's been a long while and i don't want to bother #choices

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rattlung · 5 years

Text

sorry this took so long! it kinda got away from me after a bit (it’s like 6k words so i’m rlly hoping this read more works on mobile lmao) and turned into a lot of introspection, as my stuff often does when it comes to mirage for some reason. hope you enjoy :^) and ty for sending smth in

(yeah ik mystik keeping in contact through fuckin fan mail is a bit of a stretch especially since crypto mentions burning letters, implying communication through paper, but it was the only thing i could come up with and i didn’t want this to take longer than necessary. just kinda shrug it off because at this point - eh yknow??? the letter mirage comes across is based off the one crypto sends to mystik in the loading screen with him and gibby

also, i looked up a ton of different sites and even checked the wiki but i’m still nervous about crypto’s name and how to write it properly. if i’m still doing it wrong, please please PLEASE let me know. i will literally rewrite this entire thing lmao)

established relationship kinda idk and also set in a kinda canon divergent au where the games hold seasons that last a few months with set teams

----=----

Despite popular belief, Elliott was a smart guy. He lived and studied under his mother, an amazing engineer in her own right, and even had a huge part in the development of some of the tech he used in the arena. It’s just that, sometimes, even he forgot about his own intelligence. Standing next to his fellow legends, it was like any confidence he had left in one fell swoop. He would stutter under their gazes and second guess himself on anything he said the second he said it. It’s something he’d always berate himself on later when he’s alone in his dorm where no one could see him.

Because he was smart. He’d tell himself that when he looked at his own smiling face, as surrounded as he was by it. Apex merch, some fanart, some cutouts they had stood up in stores he’d been sent. Elliott would stare at it all and remind himself that Mirage in the media was who he was. He’d gotten to legend status on his own, and that wasn’t something to write off. He was as intelligent as the rest of them, he just needed to remember that.

Though, admittedly, it did take Elliott a good minute to realize that the message he’d been sent wasn’t for him.

But, in his defense, this wasn’t an issue that had ever come up before. After their breach that forced them to move planets, the Apex Team had taken extra precautions when it came to legends getting fan mail. Elliott hadn’t blamed them, but he still couldn’t help but raise a brow at the extent they went to. In his opinion, it was just, like, two steps above sending it in on paper the old fashioned way. Honestly, that would go faster, since that didn’t need to be scoured by security software. Sometimes the dates lagged by so much that Elliott would get things months after a someone sent it.

So, yes, it did require a few read through’s for him to parse what was going on in the small paragraph. To be fair, it had his name in it. Don’t act so pretentious, TJ, everyone knows who Mirage is. The rest of the message was written in the same way: to someone who wasn’t actually Elliott and from someone who’s seemingly exchanged letters with this “TJ” before.

Maybe the program was on the fritz, picked out Elliott’s alias and sent it over to his inbox. It was something worth mentioning to the higher ups, because that absolutely had to be a liability in their new safety protocols. But more importantly - and definitely the thing he was going to address first - who was this letter for? Who was TJ?

There were only a few options, as most of the legends had opted to come forth with their real names when signing up for the Games. Elliott knew Bloodhound still operated under a veil of mystery, but he doubted they could be TJ. From what he remembered when he walked passed their dorm - which was usually something he tried to do quickly, since the bird Hound kept in there with them seemed to like Elliott only a little more than it liked Pathfinder - they didn’t even have a computer set up. No contact to the outside world unless it was through interviews.

Wraith just recently came across her name, Elliott remembered. She’d mentioned it in passing before disappearing for a few weeks in an abrupt request for time off. Wraith never really talked to anyone, so it kind of made sense. Everyone needed someone to vent to, even if it was about Elliott. What could TJ stand for? Taylor Jenkins? Tanya Jones?

Tilly Junior.

But then again, it really could have been any of them. Elliott wouldn’t put it passed Caustic to be using a fake name. Any of them could be using a fake name, and he doubted going around and asking would get him anywhere.

Elliott let the holopad slip onto the cushion of the couch he’d been lounging on, his head falling back to thump against the wall. Crypto would be able to help with the new mystery, that was at least something he was sure of. The amount of badgering and begging needed to actually get the hacker to relent and do any helping? Now that was unknown as well.

In the months that the season encompassed, he and Crypto ended up getting closer than probably either of them would have liked - at least in the beginning. Elliott couldn’t imagine what he would have thought then if he was told that most of his nights out of the arena would be spent at the other’s side, in his dorm, Crypto fiddling with some of the tech Elliott had lying around as Elliott himself talked his ear off.

Crypto was a good listener, he found. It was something in the quiet he maintained around him, a whole lot different than, say, Bloodhound’s. Not that Bloodhound was cold and off-putting; it was more so like what Elliott imagined stepping into an ancient library would be like. Something about Bloodhound made anything above a whisper seem too loud, and out of respect for said library, Elliott left them alone.

And then there was that time Crypto had caught Elliott staring at him when he blasted Caustic with a Charge Rifle from about 300 meters away. The only thing he’d done was give Elliott that knowing smirk then followed it up with an honest to god wink. Elliott was gone after that.

Things had changed in a steady progression. Instead of Elliott being the one to find him, Crypto would seek him out rather than hide away in his own dorm. When Elliott would invite him to his dorm, mostly joking, Crypto would surprise him by accepting. There wasn’t any verbal confirmation in the shift, though, and sometimes Elliott would worry about it, wonder if he was reading too much into things. Not that it was a big deal. He never cared much about labels, except when he really, really did.

But then Crypto would sometimes push Elliott against a wall in the downtime during the games while they were looting, or even when they were just hanging out. He’d silence ramblings by covering Elliott’s mouth with his own, and who was Elliott to tell him no?

They were close, now, yes, but for as good as Crypto listened, he didn’t talk much. It was something Elliott attempted to change. He tried to get him to open up in various ways, but the longest he’s ever gotten Crypto to talk was when he asked about the Holo Gear Mirage used on the field. Even then, Elliott did most of the talking. He’d gushed about his mom, how she did a lot of the work and he handled more of the fine tuning, reminisced about their workshop, the long days they used to spent together. Elliott remembered picking up something different from Crypto, then, something almost sad. Like maybe he’d been missing something, too.

Elliott never got to ask about it. Crypto had retreated to his own quarters pretty fast after that. He was too confused to wonder what he’d done wrong, and the worry was put to rest before he ever actually got to worry about it at all when Crpyto sidled up next to him the next day right before the drop. The situation just reaffirmed that there was a lot that Elliott didn’t know, like what kept Crypto so quiet, who he thought about when Elliott talked about working with his mother, what he always seemed to be working on when he was alone.

Or his name, Elliott realized.

After a pause, he scrambled back into a sitting position and grabbed the holopad again. There was public information on every legend that signed up for the Games, but the last he’d checked there had been something wrong with the page dedicated to Crypto. It showed multiple different error codes that were random upon opening the page and sometimes it would even crash a browser entirely. Forums still existed, though, and Elliott would use that to his advantage.

Quietly, in the back of his mind, he felt guilty, felt like he was doing something he shouldn’t.

A lot of the threads were just talking about the recent games and Crypto’s happenings in them. They talked about his marksmanship, which was pretty impressive, Elliott had to say. It wasn’t until a few minutes of scrolling - spent looking through GIFs and videos of highlights, that he won’t admit to - brought him to a specific thread. The person who posted was wondering about the drone Crypto had in his possession, asking about its name, speculating on the model. The top comment on it claimed to have spent time behind the scenes on the Apex Games Production team and declared that the drone Crypto used had a lot of similarities to the ones they use to film the Games.

The next comment didn’t exactly discredit the correlation, but they did say it was likely that the drone’s blueprint was leaked and got sold to another company, not Crypto having the clearance to use Apex equipment.

I doubt they’d let him have one of the official ones, with all the controversy surrounding them, the commenter said.

Elliott bit the inside of his cheek and narrowed his eyes in thought. It was a stretch, but it didn’t stop him from backing out of the forum and searching “apex filming drones”.

The first result wasn’t a link to the Apex Game’s website. It was another website with comment threads, its title “look what i found???”.

So, Elliott did.

i was doing some VERY LEGAL digging around, because i was wondering where the new guy came from and all that, but there’s literally NOTHING that isn’t hidden behind encrypted messes that would take like ten years to get through but when i tried, i got something on some dude named hyeon kim but when i went around looking for more i found this

??????

Below the post was a screenshot of an article from a news site called Outlands’ Journal. Elliott read it over, but the only thing he processed was “Disgraced computer technician, Tae Joon Park” and “Mystik, Joon’s former caretaker”.

And then, a little more down, was the comment, “Isn’t that the dude who’s wanted for murdering his sister or something?”

----=----

Despite popular belief, Elliott was a smart guy. In that moment, though, it really didn’t seem like a good thing.

----=----

The decision was one he made almost subconsciously: Elliott was not going to tell anyone what he’d found.

How would anyone even believe it? Elliott was hardly sure he even believed it. Spoken out loud, it would seem like such a tin-foil-hat conspiracy, and it’s not like he could use the thread he’d found the information in to back the claim up. He’d checked it again when he woke the next day, wanting to make sure he hadn’t had some fever dream, but the entire thread had disappeared. Even the account it was posted from was wiped from the site. On a whim, he checked his history and went to the link directly, but that only got him an error page.

The code was something he remembered from Crypto’s buggy Legend profile.

Elliott had almost been late getting ready for the games, he sat there for so long and stared at it. Luckily, the turbulence that signified they were getting close to the closed off arena literally jolted him as a physical reminder. Elliott shook his head and stood, making his way over to the collapsible, garage-like door in order to pull it down.

Isn’t that the dude who’s wanted for murdering his sister?

He was almost regretful that he wanted to go looking for more information. What if Crypto was somehow able to track the searches that were relevant to the article? That could be how the thread was taken down so fast, how the account disappeared. Was that what he was doing all the time, bent over his computer? Working to hide what he’d done?

Why even join the Apex Games, a program that was widely broadcasted across planets? Wouldn’t he want to keep a low profile? How did he even get the clearance to sign up? The producers had run background check after background check when Elliott had been brought in for an interview. So his public intoxication got put under the microscope, but the murderer they let in for free?

And yet, that didn’t sound right, even when he thought it. Sure, yeah, they all technically participated in a blood sport - but the technically was heavily implied. No one actually ever died; sometimes bones were broken and people had to retire after a serious injury, but that was just about it. Everyone who signed up was capable of killing.

But capability of killing was different than cold blooded murder. At least in Elliott’s opinion.

He was just pulling on the last of his Holo Gear when the door rattled in its frame. “Pull y’self outta bed, we got a game to win!”

“Door is closed for privacy,” Mirage berated.

Lifeline only cackled shortly before replying with, “I ain’t lookin’ at you, am I?”

Mirage pulled the door up so she could see his put-off pouting, which didn’t do much of anything besides getting her to laugh again. He followed her into the loading bay, passing Bloodhound and Wraith. They each gave him a respectful nod, always frighteningly eager to board their dropping platform. Still, Mirage responded with a courteous wink and two solid finger guns.

As the automated commentator announced the approaching drop zone, Mirage was suddenly very aware of the empty space beside him being taken up by another person. At first, neither of them said anything, but that was weird for him, so he had to say something, didn’t he?

“Fashionably late, as always,” he greeted, going for something half-joking, half-flirty. Honestly, he would proudly say he hit the mark, but Crypto didn’t say anything back. “Long night?”

Then, a too long second of silence fell between them as the dropping platforms began to hiss. Freezing air blasted, chilling his face, blowing his hair around, but it wasn’t the reason why his blood went cold in his veins. A voice went off in his head almost like an alarm. He knows, it said. He knows you found out. He knows.

“Always,” Mirage heard, just barely above the wind whipping between them.

And it was stuff like that that made him felt immediately guilty for the fear he held just moments before. There was that haunted, pained tone that took hold of Crypto’s voice that Mirage always seemed to catch when he knew he wasn’t supposed to. Just like how he caught something like longing when Mirage had spoken of his mother. How Crypto’s empathy felt different than others when Mirage mentioned his brothers.

He didn’t talk often, sure, but Crypto couldn’t stop himself from expressing in some ways. Not around Mirage, not anymore.

Obviously, there was the possibility that Crypto had done something - that very specific something - but Mirage just couldn’t see it. He had that gut feeling, and following those types of feelings got him to where he was right then. Standing among Legends.

Legends, and Tae Joon Park.

----=----

It’s about a month of doing his best of forgetting what he’d uncovered when he realized a problem he’d overlooked. Elliott had already come to the conclusion that Tae Joon and Mystik were close, close enough to risk each other’s safety by maintaining their pen pal status. They kept in contact that way, so the fluke Elliott had gotten in his inbox was not the first letter that had ever been sent between them.

Which meant that Crypto was going to be expecting a letter from his former caretaker that Elliott didn’t know how to give him without starting a shit show.

Just another thing to add to the reasons he wasn’t getting sleep at night, because “doing his best to forget” was awfully hard. Tae Joon’s silences were just periods of dreadful anticipation to him now. Every time they were together and the tapping on Crypto’s keyboard would pause, Elliott would expect to look up to see Crypto already staring at him, glaring, asking him how long Elliott had known -

But Tae Joon’s eyes would be on the monitor when Elliott would brave looking up, watching text wrap around the screen at all kinds of speeds. Sometimes it would freeze all at once, certain words blinking, and a corner of Tae Joon’s mouth would pull in an annoyed grimace - meaning he’d done something wrong, and the typing would start back up with a new kind of spiteful energy to it. Elliott would go back to what he was doing, wishing he could let out the breath he felt he’d been constantly holding, because sooner or later the typing would stop again.

Elliott was stressed out of his mind and it was starting to affect his performance on the field, but a horrible, evil little part of himself relished in knowing something others didn’t. That stupid, childish thrill of secret keeping. He wanted to hold it close to where no one else could see it, because he really, really wanted to. If not telling anyone meant protecting Tae Joon, then he wouldn’t tell a soul - even if that included Tae Joon himself.

But that was kind of backwards, wasn’t it? He was literally harboring a criminal, wasn’t he? Regardless of what Elliott’s stupid gut told him. Crypto was wanted for murder - but what was he supposed to do? Tell the authorities and get a potentially innocent man potentially killed? Or tell Tae Joon himself and be proven wrong, find out the very dead way that people Elliott found attractive really are out to get him.

Knowing what he did and not doing anything about it was dangerous either way. Hence the trouble sleeping.

People were starting to notice, too. Tae Joon noticed - and it was stuff like that that was going to get Elliot into trouble. He found himself switching the names around in his head. Tae Joon Park and Crypto were now interchangeable; the only way he avoided not messing up out loud and inadvertently revealing himself and what he knew was just by... not talking.

Which was hard to do.

It was easier than trying to condition himself to stop using the name, though. Because Elliott liked knowing it. There was a certain level of intimacy to it; it felt different now whenever Crypto would corner him or when he’d let Elliott turn him away from his computer. It felt like he was holding someone more, in a way. Not a mystery, but a person. He was holding someone. He was holding Tae Joon, kissing Tae Joon in secret, making a mess of Tae Joon’s bed. It was so much, and in those moments the secret was something he almost couldn’t bear. He’d just barely hold himself back from breathing the name, he’d bite his tongue to stop it.

And then the guilt would flood into his head, because he was lying. It felt so wrong to know this when Tae Joon wasn’t the one to tell him. So, Elliott withdrew. He was polite in the games, communicated as much as necessary, still bantered with Lifeline. Slowly he weaned himself off of flirting with their other teammate and reverted back to the beginning of the season. Except, not quite, really. Even in the beginning Elliott couldn’t help himself when it came to Crypto, but back then it was petty arguments that he didn’t know he craved. Now, it wasn’t much of anything besides civility.

The worst part of it might have been that Tae Joon never asked why. He allowed the regression to happen nonchalantly, but that was on purpose. Every so often, Elliott would still get pushed against a wall, when no one else was around. Tae Joon wouldn’t ask why Elliott didn’t talk to him, didn’t visit him, didn’t invite him to his dorm anymore. He would just kiss him, hard, desperate. It was almost like it wasn’t surprising to him. Like maybe Tae Joon had been waiting for it to end the entire time.

Shame would tear Elliott up after he’d pull away without a word. It would tear him up even worse when the next time Elliott saw him, Tae Joon would act as if nothing happened. Business as usual.

----=----

It had to end in some way, so Elliott really shouldn’t have been shocked when it actually happened - or that it was his fault that it went down the way it did.

----=----

He never had liked fighting Wraith. Mirage had been on her squad a few seasons ago and they’d spent a lot of their time in the arena watching the other work. So Mirage knew her tricks, but worst of all, Wraith knew his. Besides his good looks, charm, and being a crack shot with the Wingman, tricks were just about all Mirage had.

She had followed the sounds of his footsteps when he’d cloaked earlier in the gunfight to heal, weaving through the decoys he’d dropped without skipping a beat. It was a mess of bursts from SMGs, Wraith phasing away to duck behind cover. Another few bursts and MIrage would get sprayed down, only to disintegrate into lights and have him reappear around another corner.

Mirage strained to hear over the firing outside for her footsteps, placing her somewhere downstairs. He continued up, for once being grateful for the Skyhook buildings and the buffer they provided with their multiple levels. It gave him time to repair the damage done to his shields as Wraith presumably did the same before she began her chase again. They were bound to run out of supplies and floors at some point, but all Mirage needed to do was buy time for his teammates to secure their kills so they could come and take her off his hands.

It was a good plan up until it stopped working. Thing was, Wraith was fast, and Mirage was learning that if you’re not in her squad as often as you used to be, you forget just how fast she could be.

He heard the cocking of a Peacekeeper after he was a few paces onto the roof, which is also when he remembered seeing a fucking zipline in the building on his way toward the stairs. He hadn’t thought about it, immediately stored it under the dumb idea section; zipping straight up to the top floor just for Wraith to light him up and have him fall straight back down like a ton of bricks? No thank you, he’d take the stairs.

“Fuck,” Mirage said quickly, just as a shotgun blast exploded in front of him. Most of the spread was dodged by running around one of the pallets stacked with construction materials, but it still cracked through what was left of his shields.

He was dead, Mirage was absolutely dead. There was no way his Wingman was going to win against a Peacekeeper, not unless he hit every shot and Wraith missed all of hers - which she didn’t, she never missed.

A kick was placed neatly between his shoulders and Mirage flailed wildly, gripped at the metal framing of an empty wall and used the momentum to swing around -

- directly into another shotgun blast, one of which he took right into the stomach. That sent him sprawling. He landed hard on his back and the air was knocked out of him, leaving him gasping for it as he skidded a few paces forward.

Calmly, Wraith sauntered over to stand above him, reloading the few shots she’d used in her Peacekeeper. Mirage wanted to say something to maybe lessen the blow his pride and his body just took, but the only thing he could get out was a wet cough.

She grinned at him and knelt, shotgun going to one side so she could show Mirage the blade she held before pressing it to his throat. “Don’t worry,” she whispered, leaning in close. “I would have gotten you either way. Zigged or zagged.”

Mirage would’ve rolled his eyes had it not been for the kunai at his jugular, so all he did was swallow and wait for the push. But it never came. In the very next moment, Wraith was sent flying to the ground next to Mirage, her side smoking from a fresh Mastiff shot, the sudden sound of it nearly deafening him.

She pushed up unsteadily in an attempt to get to her feet, but Crypto beat her by grabbing at the scarf at her neck. “It seems like you zigged,” he started, mocking her previous low tone with his own smug lilt. Mirage watched as he raised his hand and his drone seemingly appeared in his grip while he finished with, “When you should have just quit and gone home.”

The drone came down against Wraith’s head hard, and in the time it took Mirage to blink, she was replaced with a golden case.

Crypto turned to face him, then, showing off the small smirk he’d been wearing. “Fashionably late,” he announced with a shrug.

Mirage couldn’t help the relieved grin that spread across his own face. “As always. Love that about you, kid.”

Crypto knelt at his side, taking the place Wraith had left behind, and fished around in the pack around his waist for the syringes he kept there. Once it was plunged into his chest, all of Elliott’s muscles seemed to twitch, but he felt his heart rate lower down to something manageable. He lost a lot of blood, though. He was going to have to huddle in a corner and lick his wounds for at least another five minutes before he’d be anywhere close to mobile.

“Thank you,” Mirage said in between a few deep breaths. “You’re a lifesaver.”

“Match isn’t done yet,” Crypto chided lowly. He stood up straight and held out his hand for Mirage to take.

Which he did, but he only got halfway up before he hit the ground again. The cracking snap of a Kraber shot echoed in the empty air above the buildings and Mirage stared up at the blue sky, wondering why he wasn’t feeling any pain. Then, he heard the sound of himself hitting the floor for a third time and thought, that’s weird, I thought I already did that.

After that, he thought, I lost a lot of blood.

Tae Joon, is the next thing that came to his mind in the form of a horrible realization, one that he ended up voicing out loud in fear, in panic. He sat up from the adrenaline that panic gave him, hysterically hoping that maybe that the other hadn’t heard him, but mostly to satisfy the need of having to see if Tae Joon was okay.

And he wasn’t, not really. He was on his back, too, propped up on one elbow, one hand clutching at his shoulder that was spilling red between his fingers. But worst of all, he was staring at Mirage like the pain was second to the shock.

Mirage didn’t like the look he was getting, and it was especially devastating that it was Tae Joon who was the one giving it to him. Underneath the cloud from the medicine coursing through his system, he knew he had to explain, had to make it so Tae Joon could understand that Mirage knowing his secret wasn’t a big deal, that’d he’d known for a long time and nothing bad had happened.

So, he began with “Tae - “ and then, for some reason, finished with, “Tae - tuh - tuh - uh - totally thought you were going to die from that.”

Finally, he thought, Nice save, and collapsed.

----=----

They didn’t win, but that was the least of their worries. Well, maybe not Lifeline’s, but that was beside the point.

Elliott left the medbay as soon as he could, which still took a good amount of time. The nurse had mentioned something about the side effects of the Revival Syringe along with blood loss and not using anymore meds to stabilize after he was injected. They spent extra time checking his vitals and Elliott didn’t have to be a doctor to tell them that those were going to be skewed.

His heart was still racing when he made his way back into the dorms. It was a little relieving to find that it was empty; after the games, everyone typically accumulated in the mess hall to celebrate the winners. But the at the same time, it was disappointing. He almost wanted to see Tae Joon standing around every corner Elliott rounded waiting to confront him, because getting this over with meant getting back to normal, and Elliott couldn’t wait for that.

So, he risked a glance over at the other’s dorm across the sitting area as if getting a look at it would help him decide on whether or not he should knock, initiate it himself. The door was pulled up, though, left open. Elliott blinked at it once before wandering closer.

The room had always seemed bare, but the emptiness was emphasized now. He noticed that the blanket that was supposed to be folded and draped across the back of the couch to show off the South Korean flag was missing. The box Tae Joon had shoved under there and filled with parts and drives was pulled out, tipped over and empty. Even more, the drone’s docking station was gone.

Elliott rushed over to the desk and tapped the first key he could reach. Only one of the monitors flashed on, glowing blue and asking to proceed with setup.

“Oh, no,” Elliott muttered. He hurried back out to the seating area and looked up to the screens displaying that day’s match stats. Scrolling across the top was the ETA for the ship’s landing. Ten minutes. “Oh no, no, no you fucking don’t,” he continued to say, practically running to the hall for Boarding.

It Tae Joon got into the city before Elliott could catch him on the ship, it was likely that he’d never see the man again. He couldn’t let that happen.

But Boarding was empty, too, bar the few bots that managed the floor. Elliott practically skidded to a stop in front of one of them, startling the unit’s arms up and out.

“Hey, buddy, you wouldn’t have happened to see a guy, this tall - “ He holds up his hand, palm down, level with the top of his own head. “ - might have looked pissed off, which would be my fault, so I’m trying to find him. Have you seen him?”

The bot’s screen on it’s chest flashed red in the negative, then blue in an apologetic sad face.

Elliott grunted in disappointment. “Nah, don’t sweat it,” he assured the bot, even thought he was absolutely going to.

He was biting his lip when he exited, nervous. The ship held at least sixty people on it at once. It was a decent size and if someone like Crypto was hiding on it, someone like Elliott wasn’t going to find him.

Elliott swore, once in frustration, twice in shock when he was thrown roughly against the hard, metal wall of an empty hallway. Someone held him there with a fist against his shoulder and the threat of a pistol pressing into his abdomen. He was blinded before he could gather his bearings by a sudden flash of green light, leaving him blinking rapidly to clear his vision.

“Where did you get a gun?” Elliott chose to ask, deliriously, for some reason. “They don’t let weapons on the ship - “

“Who are you?” Tae Joon questioned. The aggression in his voice was something Elliott hadn’t heard since the first few weeks, around the same time Tae Joon was just as likely to twist his arm as he was to snap at him.

“What? Babe, you know who I am - “

“Elliott Witt is too clean, everything on him was too easy to find - they wouldn’t send an Elliott Witt to hunt me down.” His expression was neutral, but there was so much going on in his eyes that Elliot couldn’t look away, even when the gun reminded him of its presence with little jabs. “So who are you?”

And maybe there were a few things Elliott should have been offended by. Like how he wasn’t prestigious enough to warrant a protected record, or Tae Joon’s implication that he wasn’t capable of something he had already done - mostly on accident.

But what he ended up asking was, “You think I made everything up? You think I lied about my entire life for, what? Getting into bed with you?”

Tae Joon didn’t seem taken aback by the hurt that was evident in Elliott’s voice, but it did leave enough room for one second of hesitation. “Then they got to you,” he whispered, somehow sounding equal parts flat and devastated.

Elliott shook his head in confusion. Who was they? “No one fucking got to me, I actually don’t know who or what you’re talking about,” he tried to explain.

“Then how?” Tae Joon asked - angry. Elliott was finally able to identify one of the things burning in Tae Joon’s glare. Anger, and maybe confusion as well. Fear.

How did this happen, they both seemed to be thinking. How did I let it get to this?

“How did you find out?” Tae Joon snapped when Elliott spent too long watching him. “Who told you?”

“Mystik,” Elliott blurted, shocking the other enough to pull back just a little bit. “Kind of,” he went on in a hurry. “She sent you something, and I - I think the new software they implemented for security read my name enough times in it so it got forwarded to me - I don’t know exactly! I didn’t do it on purpose, it must be mald- malfuk - bugging out! So, I went to check, and I’d show you the forum post I found, but it’s gone already, I swear.”

Tae Joon took a step back, then another. “What did you find?”

Elliott let out a breath, wet his lips in a nervous tic. He shrugged. “Just - just an article.”

Disgraced computer technician -

Wanted for murdering his sister -

Tae Joon looked away suddenly and down the hall, like he was planning on running again. His frown was so intense a crease began to form between his brow.

“I didn’t tell anyone,” Elliott said firmly. “I promise. But - what happened?”

“I can’t tell you that,” Tae Joon told him quickly. “If you don’t know, I can’t tell you.”

“Okay,” Elliott replied, despite how much he wanted to push.

Tae Joon seemed to sense that, gave him a troubled look. “I didn’t do it.”

“I know,” Elliott told him. “I believe you.”

It it was so easy to say, but they both knew it was more than the words spoken out loud. The admission meant Tae Joon’s shoulders could drop from their high strung, protected hunch. It meant they could both breathe. It meant Elliott could push off from the wall, get close - slowly - and gently retrieve the gun Tae Joon held to find that the safety was on. Because if he didn’t have to, Tae Joon wasn’t going to hurt him. He‘d never wanted to hurt anyone.

He put his fingers on the cool metal lining Tae Joon’s jaw to get him to look at Elliott.

“I believe you,” Elliott repeated, and Tae Joon kissed him for it. He put an open hand on the back of Elliott’s head and threaded his fingers through the curls that were there, pulling him in roughly. Elliott made a surprised noise but recovered fast enough. He pushed an arm underneath Tae Joon’s open coat to wind it around man’s waist and pressed his front to the other’s, hoping that somehow he’d get Tae Joon to feel the honesty in his words through an embrace. Thinking that he could show off the part of Elliott that was dedicated purely to him by just holding him against his chest.

Anything to get Tae Joon to stop kissing him in that same, desperate way as before, like he was still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Elliott said when they broke apart. He didn’t let the other go, though, and rested his forehead against his. “So you can’t either.”

Tae Joon’s features darken in a very particular way. “Don’t say that.” When Elliott lifted his head a little to show him a confused expression, he goes on to explain. “They take everything.”

Who’s they? I’ll kick they’s ass.

“They can’t take Mirage,” he said, smiling. “According to you, he’s too hard to carry.”

Instead of laughing, or giving that smarmy little smirk, or even rolling his eyes, Tae Joon raised a brow and asked, “What about Elliott?”

“Elliott’s yours,” he told him without thinking. “No one’s taking that.”

Tae Joon Park moved back in to kiss Elliott again.

=====

thanks for the prompt :^)

#apex legends #crypto #mirage #elliott witt #cryptage #cryage #those are the tags i know i'm sorry #kon's a writer #tae joon park

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the--blackdahlia · 5 years

Text

5 Times

Title: 5 Times

Summary: 4 Times Motley Crue tried to kill themselves, and 1 time they did

Warnings: Suicidal thoughts. Language

1-Nikki

Seventeen years old. No money, no job, no family, no home. That’s exactly the way every kid wants to finish of their childhood, right? Being unloved, broke, and hungry, sitting on the curb outside of a bar and watching the drunks go by.

Frank Feranna, no, Nikki Sixx, would’ve done anything to not be in that situation right then.

He had a knife burning a hole in his pocket. He had cut his arm before. He still had the scar to prove it. How else was he supposed to get away from that mother of his? And he was not about to go back to it. But the only way he could see on getting out of his situation was at the sharp end of a switchblade knife. He pulled the item out of his pocket and stared at it. It almost seemed to glow under the flickering street lights. He closed his eyes, trying to find something in him that wanted to fight, wanted to live.

“Hey kid,” A voice called out from the entrance of the bar right behind Nikki. He turned to see a man standing there. “What are you doing out here? Shouldn’t you be at home?”

“I guess,” Nikki grumbled. The man took a step towards him.

“Jesus, you’re a fucking skeleton,” He looked Nikki up and down. “I tell you what. I need an extra hand. The Hollywood Vampires are here tonight and I’m a man down. You help me out, and I’ll let you eat whatever you want when they leave.”

“What?” Nikki asked, a little confused.

“Come on. You look like you could use a burger and I need help. What do you say?”

Nikki looked down at the knife and slid it back into his pocket before getting up and following the man into the Rainbow, where he spent the night serving the Hollywood Vampires and their guests, and eating until he couldn’t eat another bite.

2-Mick

What fucking good is a guitarist with ankylosing spondylitis? No fucking good, in Mick’s opinion. What was he going to do? Sit on a stool and strum while everyone else in his band got to run around and have fun? No fucking way. He wasn’t going to be some invalid.

But the depression that came with the diagnosis was starting to take a toll on him. He could already feel it slowly destroying him. And he honestly wanted to destroy himself before it had a chance to.

Vodka dulled the pain, but only for a little bit. Pills helped, but got the same results. He couldn’t handle the short term pain management anymore. It was starting to get so bad, he decided the best way to handle it was to do both at once. It would either kill him or help him, either he would take right then. He stared at the mound of pills in his hand and the bottle of clear liquid in his hand.

There was a knock at his bedroom door then. He cringed, thinking it was her, but a small voice accompanied the knock.

“Daddy?” Les’s voice could be heard through the door. “Are you awake?”

Mick took a deep breath and deposited the pills back into the bottle before going to the door.

“Hey Les,” Mick crouched down in front of him. “What’s up?”

“Daddy, can you read me a story?” He held the book out to his dad, which caused a smile to spread on Mick’s face.

“Sure thing kid. Want to help me read to Stormy?” Les nodded excitedly and took Mick’s hand, going to his baby sister’s room to help daddy read to her like a good big brother.

3-Vince

He didn’t sleep. The nightmares of what he had done kept him awake. He had killed someone, injured two others. Every time he closed his eyes, he could see Razzle’s mangled body, the twisted metal of the car, he could smell the booze, and it all made him so sick. So he didn’t sleep until his body physically wouldn’t let him go on anymore.

It all came to a head during Theater of Pain. Nikki and Tommy were two busy who could snort the most lines, and Mick was trying to pass off his vodka as water. No one seemed to notice how fake his smiles were, how tired he was. As long as he put on a good fucking show, who cared? The fans sure didn’t, Doc didn’t, the other people in the band didn’t. As long as he belted out the songs right, signed some autographs, and banged a few chicks, no one gave two shits about him.

That’s why he was sitting in his dressing room, staring at the wall. That’s why he was thinking about the ways that he could end it. Because he should’ve died that night. He was the one that was drinking and driving, and he was the only one who walked away from it. How the fuck did he get to live when Razzle died? Beth had left him and taken the kids with her. He had court appointed sobriety tests until his probation was up. And no one fucking cared. They all drank in front of him, smoked and snorted in front of him, and partied it up while he was having to stay sober and sing the same shitty songs over and over again. If it wasn’t for Home Sweet Home, the album would’ve blown hard core.

He held his head in his hands. What was he supposed to do? His marriage was over. His kids only saw him a couple times a month, and the band that he had once loved, he now hated. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do, all because of his big fuck up.

“Yo, fucker, it’s time to go!” Tommy called out.

“Come out and play Vinnie!” Nikki’s voice echoed. He was sure that Mick was out there, shaking his head at the two idiots.

“Vince! Come on man let’s go!” Tommy hit the door. Vince sighed and shook his head before getting up and opening the door. “Bout fucking time dude! Let’s go!” Tommy and Nikki took off down the hallway. Mick snagged Vince’s arm.

“I know that look,” He told him. “I know what you’re going through.”

“I’m fine Mick. Promise.” Vince lied. Mick shook his head.

“You know where my dressing room and hotel room is every stop. Don’t go through this alone,” He squeezed Vince’s shoulder before walking after Tommy and Nikki, Vince following up the parade.

Maybe someone did care after all…

4-Tommy

He was twenty-three. At twenty-three, he should’ve been getting drunk, playing music, and having the time of his life. Not standing in a courthouse getting a marriage annulled. He thought all his relationships would end up like his parents did. A proposal within hours of knowing each other, two kids, and a loving, lasting relationship. His parents didn’t fight, they didn’t resent each other.

Why was he so broken that he couldn’t find that?

He honestly thought Eliane was going to be the one. He followed everything exactly how his dad did, yet here he was, just a couple short months after tying the knot with her, he was separating from her.

“Fuck!” Tommy screamed out before he started throwing everything in his hotel room that wasn’t bolted down. Mattress, TV, lamps. It all went as far as he could throw them. He felt like his world was coming to an end. Why had it come to this? Why couldn’t he just have a moment of happiness?

He sank to the floor, surrounded by his mess. He wanted to go to sleep and not wake up. He wanted to just disappear. If he already screwed up marriage by twenty-three, what was he supposed to do next in life?

“T-Bone!” Nikki called as he came through Tommy’s door before stopping dead in his tracks. “Dude, what the fuck happened in here?”

“Go away Nikki,” Tommy mumbled, pulling his legs to his chest.

“Shit, what’s wrong?” Nikki sat on the floor by Tommy. “Hey, it’s me we’re talking about. You can’t hide things from me, you know that, right?” He nudged him with his elbow.

“I’m divorced,” Tommy whispered. “I screwed up and I’m divorced.”

“I don’t think this marriage falling apart was all your fault man,” Nikki told him. “I mean, you guys only knew each other a week, right?”

“My parents only knew each other a day,” Tommy grumbled.

“And you’re not your parents dude,” Nikki stood up and pulled Tommy to his feet. “Come on. Let’s go.”

“I don’t want…”

“No. We’re going out and that’s final.” Nikki stated before pulling Tommy to every strip club in town. By the end of the night, Tommy was feeling better. At least, a little bit. He leaned against Nikki as they stumbled back to their hotel.

“Hey Nik?” Tommy slurred.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t ever let me marry a pornstar again,” To which Nikki just laughed.

5-Motley Crue

White walls, large windows, support groups, therapy. It all fucking sucked. But it was needed. They had taken the role of the Bad Boys of Rock way too far, and it almost cost them. They needed this, despite what Vince said. This was the second time he had gone through it, and it wasn’t any better the second time around. He wouldn’t have gone through with it if Tommy didn’t have to be such a follower. Anything Nikki did, Tommy wanted to do. And Tommy convinced Mick, which left Vince. And he was not about to be the asshole who said no to rehab just because he didn’t want to.

But a couple months after they walked through the doors, bodies tired, hair greasy, and more drugs than blood in their system, they walked back out those doors, leaving behind a heroin addict, a cokehead, and two alcoholics in their wake.

They killed their old selves to start anew, and this was the first time, they all actually went through with it.

Forever Tags: @anathewierdo @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogarukes @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @supernaturalwincestsblog @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316 @horrorpxnk @tommyleeownsme

Motley Crue Tags: @primal-screamer @waywardprincess666 @twistnet @saint-of-los-angeles @vader-kai @motleyfuckingcruee @sharon6713 @kawennote09 @2dead2function @nikkisixxwiththebass @iamtiber-andtiberismusic @jayprettymuchomw @charlyallise @you-know-im-a-dreamer @sweet-dreams-on-butterfly-wings @estxxmotley @arianareirg @the-normal-potato @nikki-sixxtynine @jjjjjjjoshdun @just-a-normal-fangirl18 @stella20131991 @tarahell @wowilovenikkisixx @i-want-to-shoot-myself @motleycrueee @sams-serialkiller-fetish @getbackhonkycatt @are-you-reddie54321 @flamencodiva @lesliethegroupie @deacyduck @scarecrowmax @major-tom-is-a-junky @anyasthoughts @bandaids-not-groupies

#Motley Crue #Tommy Lee #nikki sixx #mick mars #Vince Neil #fanfiction

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babyloontrash · 5 years

Text

Wedding Day (C.H.)

Summary: Calum on a wedding day. Words: 4,5k Note: Don't hate me, please.

Today was the day.

It had been marked in his calendar for months. A large notice with the word 'WEDDING‘ written in all capitals and filling up the whole space for that day. As if there was any need for that. How dumb and ignorant he would have to be to forget about such an important day? There was a bunch of cute doodles it too, in a pink and red gel pen, the glittery kind. She was the one who put it all down, and he could still remember how wide were her eyes and how bright was the smile she wore then. Even just the thought of that moment made him smile. Figuring out the perfect date was not an easy task. Not when she had this day planned out pretty much ever since she was seven. Though there had been some changes made during the years. For example, she no longer insisted on having a bouncing castle on her reception, nor making each of the guests bringing a pet with them. Those were brilliant plans if anyone asked him, but she had just rolled her eyes and laughed when he brought this point up. Hearing that laugh had made his heart flutter and to be honest, he would have no problem with making both the bouncing castle and the puppies really happen.

She had stated that the only thing she really needed from him on that day to be truly happy is to not have him bail on her in the last minute. "If you won’t be there when I’ll be walking down the aisle, I swear to God that I am gonna find you and make you pay real bad for hurting me like that.“

He had no doubts that she would really be capable of doing that. She did not look exactly terrifying when she had said those words out loud, considering that she was rather tipsy and both of her arms were wrapped around his neck as she needed the support so she wouldn't trip, but he believed her. He knew his girl well enough. There was nothing she needed to worry about, of course, he would be there. He loved her and she meant the world to him. Always had and always would. Forget all the fame and the money he had earned, not even the awards he and his band won could compare to how amazing it was to have her in his life and to how happy he felt when she sent him one of those smiles that were reserved for him. Of course, he would be there. Looking nice and sharp. Just for her.

They had only talked together on the phone last night. Her girlfriends had planned a sleepover of a kind and he was not allowed, naturally. She had sneaked into the bathroom though just to give him a call and ask how he was doing. She needed to hear his voice. It wasn’t like she had any doubts about the next day. Not at all. God, she had been waiting to marry and spend the rest of her life with him for so long. The scenarios of the guests not making it in time, the weather acting up, the cake not being as good as she had wanted it to and so on were filling her mind and driving her crazy. She wanted her wedding day to be perfect and he understood, allowing her to vent to him for as long as she needed before assuring her that it would be okay. Everything would be fine. Even if something would end up going wrong, it was not like it would matter that much anyway. Even if it would rain and her uncle got drunk and caused a scene, she was going to be a married woman on the end of the day and that’s what it was about. The love was the most important. Years later, she for sure wouldn’t even remember any of those things she was stressing about. Listening to all that did help her calm down. But maybe it wasn’t about what words were being said but about who had been saying them. He always seemed to have this soothing effect on her. There was something in the way he spoke that made her feel that yes, everything would turn out to be okay. And if it wouldn’t, well, she would always have him. "Don’t you dare to cry when you see me in the dress,“ she warned him playfully in the end, just before they were about to hang up because her friends had figured that she was missing and they got afraid that she's talking with the groom. "You know how puffy your eyes get afterwards and I can’t have you look like a mess on the pictures.“ He didn’t get to make any promises since the call had already ended, but truth be told, it would be rather unwise to make such promise anyway. Calum did not cry very often but he was rather sure that seeing her in her wedding dress, walking down the aisle would bring him to his knees.

As he put on his clothes he couldn't help but wonder about what would she look like, even though that he was going to see her in just a few hours. What dress would she be wearing? He remembered her liking bunch of these lacy ones. But that was long before the proposal even happened. Or maybe she would wear the kind with the skirt looking as if it was made of cotton candy... She always made fun of those, but then again, there was a time when she was joking about getting married to him out of all the possible people one day. Nothing was impossible. It didn't matter what dress she chose though, Calum was sure that she would look absolutely amazing. Little her always talked about how this would be her princess moment. Smiling, he went back to those memories in his mind. His fingers carefully buttoning up the shirt she picked with him specially for this occasion while joking about how if she wasn't engaged, she would have a great dilemma when trying to decide whether she wants to tear the shirt off or ask him to keep it on because he looked so good in it. Calum was right in the middle of tying his tie when Ashton's head peaked into the room. "You ready mate?" He asked and Calum simply nodded his head. He didn't even hear him walk inside but that didn't come as a much of a surprise with how loudly the music was playing. Ashton went to complain about that right after he turned it off, telling him how he had spent at least five minutes in front of the front door, waiting for him to let him in. "When you weren't coming I had to use the spare key. Part of me got worried that you decided to stay at home... I mean, I wouldn't blame you. You know my opinion on this." Calum didn't let him tell anything else, piercing him with a glare in the mirror. "I know. I know. Sorry. My opinion doesn't matter. You love her and you want to do this." "Exactly. Just be a good friend and say that you support this decision." There was a moment of silence. "I am a good friend and I support you. No matter what. You know that," Ashton finally said and then smoothed the jacket Calum put on. "You look great. Very handsome. Girls and women of all ages are gonna get weak in their knees when they see you." In the whole world, there was only one girl that truly mattered to him though.

"I am not going to play wedding with you. It's dumb." He kicked the ball towards her in hopes that she would kick, or maybe throw it back so they could play with it instead. "It is not!" She argued and her hands settled on her hips. Such a stupid gesture. His sister and his mum did the same thing when they wanted no more arguments from him. The ball stayed just a few steps away from her. If she moved a little bit to the left... "It's not dumb," he said in the end. Anything to make her stand and look differently at him. He didn't like the expression on her face. She seemed angry with him and he didn't like that. "I just don't want to... How about we play the spy thing. I will play the villain." She clearly couldn't say no to that, right? Everyone always wants to play the cool spy. It's way better than playing a bride. What they do anyway? Walk with some flowers in their hands. That's boring. "The last time you were over and I played the goalkeeper, you promised that I would get to choose what we play next time." God. He really did promise that. "You were an awful goalkeeper..." "That doesn't matter! We played what you wanted and now it's my turn. Or do you want me to tell your mum that you are a liar who doesn't keep their promises?" The frowned expression was gone. Her chin pushed forward and she looked at him almost with a triumph. Calum let out a heavy sigh, kicking the little stone that was near his foot away."That's not true. You know that." "It will be if you won't play with me."

To be honest, it didn't turn out to be as bad as he thought it would. Not that he would ever admit it. They got to bring all the plush toys outside into the garden, her mum made them put some blanket on the grass first so they wouldn't get all dirty, and they set them down as the guests. It was a bit boring when she later disappeared to get ready and he was left alone, but at least he got to steal some of the cookies they had set on the table as a part of the following feast. He didn't understand what was happening at first when the small radio they brought out and left at the door started playing. She got a little bit frustrated when she found him not standing at the made-up altar but he quickly rushed over there, having to wait for a moment before she adjusted the tape and the song started again. He also had to promise that he didn't see her before. He wasn't really lying. He did not see much. Just a stupid piece of curtain hanging over her face. He wondered how she would be able to talk through the aisle with that. She somehow did though and he was honestly impressed so he stared at her in awe. She had to nudge him, muttering how he needs to put the veil away. It didn't strike him that he could simply lift it up, instead, he literally tugged on the curtain so the little tiara she was wearing fell down to the ground as well. She shot him a glare but then took his hands, smiling at him a little while she nodded her head every once and then as if the large teddy who played the officer was really saying something. Soon, they were both saying their 'I do' and the celebrations could start. He was looking forward that part the most because it would mean eating all the cookies but before that, the kiss thingy had to happen. They exchanged a look but soon Calum decided to push through it and pecked her lips real quick. He always made fun of how his first kiss was actually a wedding one.

When Calum arrived at the venue, most of the guests were already there. "Everything okay?" One of his mates asked him when Calum walked up to them. He blinked his big brown eyes at that. Wouldn't they stop asking him about it? Of course, everything was okay. More than that actually. He was thrilled. He couldn't wait for the ceremony to start. "Yes," he ended up answering anyway because the look he sent them clearly wasn't enough to make it clear. Calum looked around, examining the surroundings. From what he could see, everything looked magical. Exactly like she wanted to. The weather shouldn't be an issue either. He checked the weather forecast in the car and there was not a mention of even the smallest possibility of rain. She wanted to get married outside and while Calum was there when she was picking up all the decorations, he was surprised with how amazing it looked all put together. She really did a great job with all of this and when he sent her a text telling her that he just got there and that the place looked absolutely lovely, she sent him a heart emoji. That small red heart made him realize how quickly his own heart was beating. He turned down his friend's offer of taking a sip from his flask. It would take the edge off, they said but Calum shook his head immediately. He wanted his mind to stay as clear and sharp as it could be. There would be plenty of time for alcohol later. Calum greeted the people he knew, all of them exchanging smiles and sharing their excitement about this lovely day, and he also got introduced to a lot of people he didn't know until now. Finally, he spotted his parents and his sister while they were walking out of the large tent where would all the celebrations take place later. As soon as they got close enough to each other, his mum pulled him into a tight hug. She went on about how nice everything looked and how surreal this whole thing felt. She still remembered when they were just little kids, running around the garden half-naked. And now there was a wedding. Time flew so fast. He stopped her in her rambling before she started crying and she smiled brightly at him, nodding her head and assuring him that there won't be any more tears now. She stroked his cheeks with her thumbs and then kissed him before going off to say hi to someone else. His dad and Mali stood there with him for a while, and while he was always the type of person who enjoyed his family presence, right now there was only one thing he could focus on and he couldn't stop his mind from wandering in that direction.

"Are you sure that the boys won't get upset that we left them alone?" She asked and pulled the hoodie a bit closer to her body. It was a summer night but the breeze that was coming from the ocean was making her feel a bit chilly. "Have you seen them?" Calum laughed and shook his head before collapsing down onto the grass. "They won't even notice that we are gone," he assured her and then patted his hand on the spot beside him when she kept standing and just looked down at him. He said her name to call her over, motioning for her to come down again and after a moment she finally did. "Fuck you," he let out when she managed to lay down on his hand in the process. "Sorry," she laughed and once she was comfortable, she reached for his hand that he was keeping close to his chest now while looking at her with a hurt expression. "Don't be a baby." She rolled her eyes when he called her out on laughing at his suffering. She laced their fingers together, smiling in the dark at how warm his hand felt against hers and also at how well their hands fit together. Carefully, as if not to cause any more 'damage', she brought their joined hands up to her lips and kissed the back of Calum's. "Is it better?" She wanted to know but Calum struggled to let out any sound at all. Did she really just kiss him? He felt like a dummy for suddenly feeling so funny in the pit of his stomach. After all, he knew how soft her lips were. They had pressed against his cheek many times before but that was always a simple, friendly gesture. Somehow, the kiss now felt more intimate. Maybe it was because they were completely alone, in a dark of a park she loved to visit so much. Her grandpa used to take her there when she was a kid and this place held a very special spot in her heart. He knew that, and to be fair, that was probably the main reason he brought her here. He sneaked her out from the party she threw for them before they would be leaving for England the day after tomorrow. He didn't have much time. And for the longest part, he thought about not letting her know how much he is going to miss her once he would be gone... What would be the point in telling her how much she actually means to him when he was going to leave? Michael then came up with this "if not now then when" talk and Calum hated him for that from the bottom of his heart. His friend seemed to have a pretty good point though. If she wouldn't like him and this confession would go terribly, at least he wouldn't have to face her after for some time, and once they would meet again, the whole thing may as well be long forgotten. But if it would work out? If she smiled at him in the way that made his heart speed up? Then they could use these months to think about whether their friendship that had lasted for years was worth putting on the stake and they maybe could have their happy end as a couple. It was embarrassing how much time he had spent thinking about that during the past year. Damn. Calum had this whole talk prepared but his throat suddenly felt so tight that he doubted he would be able to let out any of this. All just because of her hand securely holding onto his and her breath tickling his skin. Love was dumb. Who came up with that shit anyway? She turned to her side, using one of her hands to hold her head up while she continued to hold him. "Are you really not going to talk to with me because of that? Come on..." She grinned when he remained quiet and she nudged his foot with hers. "Of course not." He quickly shook his head. "I was just... thinking." "Yeah?" Her eyebrows raised. "Up for sharing that with me?" "I don't know," Calum admitted and shrugged his shoulders. "It's sort of dumb." "Is it?" He nodded his head, smiling a bit when she made this 'mmmhm' sound. "Dumber than letting that Cole guy pierce your lip?" His brows furrowed and he gently pushed her away from him. "We agreed we don't talk about that. Ever." "You agreed. I know that I will never recover." The park was completely quiet except for her laughter and Calum knew that even if he wouldn't force himself to speak the truth about his feelings, he wouldn't regret leaving the party and spending some time just with her right here. Her hand left his and he looked at her curiously when she made him turn his face towards her. She brushed her finger over the spot where the piercing once been and shook her head slightly in disbelief. "I still don't know what the hell you were thinking then." "Guess I just wanted to be cool." "You are cool. Even though that you are in the stupid band...." She joked. "You love my band," He reminded with a serious look. He heard her swallow before she spoke out again. "Yeah. I do." Their eyes met for a moment and she parted her lips as if she was going to say something but in the end, she pressed them tightly together again for a couple of seconds. "I can't believe you are leaving to make music in London. I am going to miss you." There seemed to be a hint of sadness behind these words and Calum couldn't stop himself from reaching out for her and pulling her to his chest. "I'll miss you too." He said the obvious and she offered him a little smile in return. "I'm going to drown you in messages. You will be so annoyed you will just keep on wishing that the guy gives you a break." "You will?" "Yes! For sure. You will not get rid of me that easily. You made a promise. You are stuck with me for life." She started laughing again and Calum automatically felt so happy with himself for being the one to cause that. He didn't need to say more, she knew exactly what he meant. The wedding. By now, she had made her peace with the fact that he would never let her live that down. They both had so many embarrassing stories on each other that it was quite scary, actually. As long as it was just the two of them talking about it and they didn't reach the ears of any stranger, though, it was good. Just like now. They spent the next hour or two actually laying in the grass, talking and laughing their asses off, reminiscing about all the great times they spent with each other. There was only a one little small thing missing for them to be as happy as they possibly could be, and Calum couldn't believe that he was really doing this when he suddenly leaned his head in and kissed her. He interrupted her story about old Ms Brown telling on them that they broke into her garden. She hated being interrupted and he knew it but he simply couldn't stop himself at that moment. The sun started to come up and she looked so beautiful in that gentle light. "I am sorry," he started to stammer out, his face so close to hers that their lips actually brushed against each other when he spoke. There was no slap, no 'what the fuck are you doing' or any other negative reaction. There was no reaction at all actually, and Calum really started to wish for the ground to swallow him whole as quickly as possible. With his eyes closed, he started to pull away but a pair of hoodie covered arms stopped him. "No. Come here," she mumbled and gently rubbed her nose against his before kissing him.

He was standing at the same spot where it had happened years ago, a wide smile on his face as he thought about it. About how she started to giggle as they made out because his hand under her shirt tickled her. About how she then rolled on top of him and made him tilt his head back in pleasure when she kissed his neck. About how they just made out and cuddled until the sun completely came up and they both needed to go home. Calum was absolutely in love with her then and he loved her just as much now. He needed to tell her. His heart would burst if he didn't. He fished his phone out of his pocket and then dialled her number. "I need to talk with you,“ he said into the phone in a shaky voice once she finally picked up. A part of him struggled to wrap his mind around the fact that this was really happening. "Babe, I’d love to but we really don’t have time… My heel broke so we quickly had to find some new shoes that would fit and now we are late and… I know small things like this don’t matter. I swear I am not stressing out. We are running late. I’ll talk to you later after the ceremony, okay? Love you.“ "Love you.“ When the call finished, Calum checked the time. It made sense that everyone seemed to be at their places already as the ceremony was supposed to start in only a few minutes. It didn't appear that any of them knew about the little delay of the bride. Still, he needed to get in position too, so everything would be ready for when she would arrive. Shoving the phone into his pocket he started to walk towards the group of people that were waiting aside. He smiled at some of the bridesmaids that were already there and then spend the time while they had to wait chatting with the groomsmen. Suddenly, the two bridesmaids that were missing showed up beside them, saying that it's about time that they start. And so they did. The music began playing and they walked through the aisle to the cute arch that was put up just for this occasion and that was covered with flowers. If anyone asked him, Calum wouldn't be able to tell what song was playing when his feet carried him there, nor could he tell how were all the people in the seats looking at him. He moved automatically and there was just one person on his mind. Her. He couldn't wait to see her. He tried not to fidget too much because of the nerves and he searched for the faces of his family and his closest friends. They were all giving him their best smiles. They knew how he felt. Then a new song started and everyone's eyes turned towards her. He could feel the tears starting to sting in his eyes. He had tried to brace himself but it didn’t seem like he did a very good job. She looked wonderful, absolutely stunning. Some people seemed to gasp and he honestly didn't blame them. She carried herself with such grace that it almost seemed as if she was floating through the air. There was a small, a bit nervous smile playing in her lips and he noticed how tightly she was holding on the bouquet that was made of her favourite flowers. When her and Calum's eyes met, she made the corners of her mouth turn up a bit higher before she shook her head a little bit. "Don't cry," she mouthed towards him but when she looked down he saw how quickly she was blinking her eyes. This was a very emotional day for her. For all of them. The aisle wasn't too long and yet, it felt like ages to Calum. Ages during which he couldn't stop himself from admiring how beautiful she looked as a bride and also thinking about his past and future life. When her father finally brought her over to where the officer was standing, he shot Calum a little encouraging smile. Calum's head nodded slightly in acknowledgement and then he swallowed thickly before looking down while her father handed her to the groom.

Fuck all the fame and the money he had earned, fuck the awards he and his band won. If it wasn't for them, he was pretty sure that he could be the one marrying her and the smile that made her eye crinkle would still be reserved only for him.

#5sos #5sos imagine #5sos blurbs #5sos fic #5sos blurb #5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer imagines #5 seconds of summer imagine #5 seconds of summer fic #calum hood #calum hood imagine #calum hood fic #calum hood blurb #calum angst #calum fluff #calum hood angst #calum hood fluff #5sos angst #5sos fluff

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xoruffitup · 5 years

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Adam in Burn This (6/12)

I saw Burn This again on June 12th and HOO BOY, for this show I’ve got nothing but flail! I think I’ve already worked through most of my critical analyst urges already, so this is gonna be just pure, chaotic Adam fangirling. :’)

The man was robbed of his Tony. Pale is this character who I would absolutely hate on the page or in abstract. But then Adam, the utter jerk, barges and flails his way on stage and makes Pale so human and compelling and just absolutely riveting to watch that hating him becomes physically impossible. I mentioned before how the play functions to make the audience Anna’s proxy (down towards the end of the second section here), and never has that been truer than last night. I literally was Anna, okay. I was repelled and intimidated and scandalized by Pale’s uncontrollable, massive presence; his encroaching, searing physicality; his unpretentious, guileless anger and passions and frenetic creative energy.

One second, you’re watching this massive brickhouse tumble into crying, sniffling pieces so vulnerable and wrecked it could tear your heart out. The next he’s cracking a joke, flirting, cussing, and every single swing is so bracingly authentic that you’re literally pulled to the edge of your seat, unsure if in attraction or revulsion. Either way, you’re along for the wild ride with him every step of the way, feeling the same conflicted and unwilling compulsion towards him Anna is. Pale doesn’t just unwittingly seduce Anna; Adam absorbs every single audience member’s attention like a black hole and before you know it the audience is caring for him even before they have any hope of deciding whether they even like him. (Evidenced by the collective gasp of fear that rises from the audience when Pale, drunk, climbs outside onto a fire escape.) To call him magnetic, electric, a revelation to watch – They’re all woefully inadequate descriptions. He’s a literal inferno, blazing even when he’s silent.

So even though I have yet to reach a personal resolution on whether I accept Pale from an ethical perspective, I am nevertheless complete trash for him because Adam really leaves me no choice in the matter. Damn him. <3

Last night I sat in the upper balcony for the first time, but my friend brought binoculars we passed back and forth (lol, yes really) and I actually saw so many new, detailed nuances to Adam’s acting. I’ll go through the moments that really stood out – though it’s honestly hard to pick because he really is that Extra during the entire damn play.

Act 1

When he puts his leg up on the couch to show Anna how “fucked up” his pants are, then kind of realizes he’s standing there with his leg all weird up on the couch, asking her to look at his pants… Then just smoothly lifts his leg over the table before he lowers it, then makes the coyest face ever at her while he does this slow, deliberate twirl with the most shit-eating look on his face. The audience dies, then he cracks “I coulda been the dancer,” and the audience falls apart again.

The way you can feel his momentum and buzzing energy begin to darken, right before he breaks down completely. When he stops pacing around for the first time and his voice changes, going soft as the guilt and sorrow creeps up on him in the form of physical pain he feels driving straight through his heart. And it’s alarming, when he goes still for the first time.

I swear I’ve never seen him cry so much as last night. Once he broke down, the sniffling was constant, with these utterly, completely broken sounds mixed in whenever he tried to talk.

“Nah, this ain’t me…” “I’m trying to picture him here.”

And he keeps aggressively pushing his hair back while he’s crying, as if he can force the tears away with brute force.

OKAY so watching their first kissing scene through a pair of binoculars was like being personally undressed and ravished, holy god. A bomb could have gone off in the theater and he wouldn’t have looked away from her, he had such consuming focus. When he slides close to her, the first thing he does is slowly lift a hand to touch her hair, his eyes darting between where his fingers brush the strands and her face, gauging her reaction. And then when he leans in so slowly for the kiss, watching her first before his attention shifts to her mouth, and the kiss is slow and deep and….

Yeah I felt things.

From up in the balcony.

Adam’s kissing sex appeal is literally so flaming strong, I felt that heat from the damn balcony. I dare you to show me another man with such raw, intense sex appeal. Go on, I’ll wait. He asks her, “You okay?” when he pulls back, and she says in a sort of daze, “I’m fine.”

….Girl, I feel it too.

AHEM ANYWAY MOVING ON.

And then in the next scene, as if totally oblivious that he’s a literal tornado of sex, he just sweeps out the door with an over-the-shoulder “Alright I’m outta here” and it’s so blasé and masterfully hilarious.

Act 2 When he’s laying on the couch alone, half-asleep, and starts vaguely waving his arm in an attempt to remove invisible blankets. Then, without a single word, he reduces the entire audience to hysterics when he spends a solid two minutes pulling at the collar of his coat in a completely futile effort to take it off. That’s the level acting we’re dealing with here. He’s one-hand fighting his own coat and trying so damn hard and it’s the most entertaining thing of your entire year like WHAT EVEN.

God alsdfjsdlakjf okay when he comes out in the kimono robe and it’s open at first, for like 30 blissful seconds that massive, toned chest is out there to see above those tight black briefs and it is SO MUCH I blacked out and couldn’t even process the sight the first time I saw the play. …. Then he closes the robe, carefully ties it, fights with the sleeves because they clearly aren’t built for massive fuckin arms like his, and in an instant he’s the softest being I’ve ever seen and I’m confused as hell as to how I’m aroused and ‘omg bb’ adoring at the same time??? I think I need therapy? Or Adam needs to stop being massive and sexy but also awkward and soft at the same time, for the sake of my sanity?

I fail to imagine an image that will make my life more than giant Adam in this tiny bright purple silk kimono that barely reaches his thighs, bare foot, tying a dish towel around a pot of tea he just made like a tea cozy, then oh so carefully carrying the tea pot over to the table with his one arm still out of the sleeve and this look of intense focus on his face. I was overwhelmed and could not even begin to name the feels.

Let’s make it even WORSE shall we? When he hands Anna a cup of tea, kisses her forehead twice, says “That tea’s no good for a bad stomach. You want some milk?” then strokes her hair back, then asks “You want some eggs?”

GOD PALE GET OUT WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT

(^ We are all Anna)

The part where he sneakily picks up the phone to eavesdrop on Anna and Burton’s phone conversation, and stays completely silent for a long minute before hilariously bursting out, “YA GOT SOMETHIN’ TO SAY, BRUCE?!” And then AND THEN Anna angrily storms out of the bedroom and the bastard hides his face behind the empty robe sleeve and bats his eyelashes at her and bends at the knees in this cutesy little sorority girl squat and IM….?! “Real cute,” Anna says, trying real hard to be unimpressed, while the audience is in an uproar and everyone’s desperately trying to process all these newfound perplexing Adam Driver feels (WELCOME TO HELL, BITCHES. IT DOESN’T GET BETTER)

Okay okay there are SO many juicy bits during the exchange when Anna’s explaining she wants things to end between them. I was watching through the binoculars and when Anna says, “We’re apples and oranges.” He immediately gets this hella adorable smirk when he goes, “Oh yeah? Who’s the apple and who’s the orange?” Then the smirk grows when he’s all “Ever had an apple tart glazed with marmalade?” And then he’s just grinning because he’s so damn proud of how clever he is and he’s still in the FUCKIN purple kimono and he is ridiculous, I’d hate it if he didn’t own me body and soul.

Then it gets BETTER when he says, “You told me you ain’t been with no one else since you was with me a month ago. Me either. I figure one more time and we’ll have ourselves a hat trick.” And oh my GOD the shit eating grin! He looks at Larry, just grinning like a 5 year old and Larry gives him this hysterical disapproving, unamused shake of his head, but Pale just looks back at Anna full-on sunshine smiling and I’m like WHY ARE U MY PERSONAL BABY

(PS: JJ – That is what we need to see on Ben Solo’s face in TROS. You better deliver!)

He says some of my favorite dialogue here – The bit about “people walking down the street don’t mean a thing they’re doing.” He grows somber here, and this is a portion of the play’s call to its characters to strive for both emotional and artistic authenticity no matter what the price.

And then the scene gets heavy…. He stands up, disappears to get partially dressed, comes out, they start arguing, he’s still determined to make her see what’s clearly between them… And then she drops the definitive bomb over everything: “I don’t like you and I’m frightened of you.”

I watched his face through the binoculars while she delivered the blows, and it was literally like seeing a candle snuffed out. His expression melted like ice – Resolute and hard and determined one moment, and the next moment her words rush over and visibly crush him as the certainty melts from his face and leaves him empty and shell-shocked. Three seconds of silence when nothing moves but the set of his mouth and the light and strength in his face, but you’ve seen a grown man utterly crushed.

Ah, the last scene. In the first performance it was devastatingly, beautifully heartbreaking. In later performances it was humorous even while tragically inevitable. Either way, it’s brilliantly written and exquisitely acted. (Though as I’ve expressed before, I do prefer the more serious, helplessly sad versions.) I’ve never seen the two of them clutch each other as desperately and heart-rendering tenderly as they did in this performance. She fell into him on the couch, and he cradled her entire body to himself – Reaching a hand down to her thigh to pull her across his lap so his arms could engulf her entirely. They rocked together, and she clutched his arms still tighter to herself, and he kissed all over her hair while they made sounds near tears. And then Pale does break open a bit with something approaching a sob, before he curses and objects “I’m gonna cry all over your hair.”

But he only holds her tighter, as if they’ve both lost all conscious control over their bodies at this point, in the face of the all-powerful compulsion drawing them into each other’s orbits. The ending of this performance was absolutely stunning, leaving you with a myriad of unraveled emotions that are at once painfully incomplete and ill-defined, and yet just as bitingly complex and untamable as the most compelling moments of reality.

Over all, it’s nothing short of incredible to see how Adam continuously succeeds in upping his game throughout the course of the play’s run. He already brought the house down at the very first preview, and yet he manages to find new twists and interpretations to embody each and every time. What struck me this time is how boldly natural he’s become in the role – The way he leans into the accent like he’s really spent his entire damn life using the hard edges of the pronunciation like verbal brass knuckles. Adam has gotten to the point where just a single emphasized vowel sound brings the audience to hysterics:

“I heard that mollaaases you were pourin’ over maaam. Needed a shot o’ insulin.”

“Good niiiight, sleep tiiiiight.”

“Drinkin’ and thinkin’, man. Worse than drinkin’ and drivin’.”

“Fuckin’ hate Christmas. Look out… ribbons.”

“Get outta here; You’re useless!”

“Lemon will kill yaaa!”

“That was me and youuu up there.”

He has mastered how to pitch his voice for perfect, killer comedic effect. What’s more is how effortless he makes it seem; How utterly guileless. How he can swing from ugly crying to casual insensitive quip in the span of a minute, and make it just seem like the routine (if highly irregular) over-active synapses of a guy on coke. Even just his body language, the way he paces around the apartment in Act 1, completely out of sorts and out of his depth, like he’s never seen a coat rack or a stove before; A physical embodiment of his discomfiture with the emotions that don’t feel like they belong within him. His presence is imposing and even threatening, and yet his body language is alert and defensive, sometimes even self-flagellate. He embodies so many idiosyncrasies and tensions, it’s easy to see why his emotions burst from him in such tidal, chaotic floods.

I’m so thankful to have tickets to the final performance next month! I shudder to think of the feels I will drown in over how absolutely legend-level powerful Adam’s performance will be at that point. What a talent. What a man.

I’d be overjoyed to receive any and all questions/thoughts about the play! :) Thanks for reading!

#Adam Driver #Burn This #Burn This Broadway #driverdaily #Pale

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lovskim · 5 years

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back to you

pairing; byun baekhyun x reader

genre/warnings; neighbors! au, idol! baekhyun, ceo! reader, kinda crack, fluff, a tiny bit of angst

word count; 6.4k

:: summary; the hole in your living room wall isn’t so great. the fact that you have to pay for it and wait a whole week for it to be repaired honestly annoys you. but at least you’re suffering the same fate as your witty neighbor, byun baekhyun, and that alone doesn’t annoy you one bit.

( gif credits to owner. )

You stare at the hole in your living room wall.

You swear under your breath. The hole in your wall gave you a clear view of your neighbor’s living room, due to the stupid pipe leak, which somehow disintegrated you and your neighbor’s wall.

The hole wouldn’t be fixed until next week, sadly, and it was a rather large hole. If you crawled, you would be able to enter your neighbor’s house and steal whatever you wanted, which was what you were not going to do. Luckily, the leak was stopped and no sort of liquid was on your floor.

You’re scared of your neighbor. You never met him, but that was what made you scared. The only thing you knew about him was that he came home during the early hours of the morning, and left the house only a few hours later, like 6 or 7 o’ clock in the morning.

Sometimes, he would have friends over. He had a lot of friends, and they were always loud. You always had trouble sleeping when his friends came over. Still, you had no idea on how he was going to react to this hole in your wall. He could either get really mad, or he’ll be completely fine with it.

You panic once you hear your neighbor press the passcode to his apartment, and you quickly place a painting over the wall, covering most of the hole. You run towards your kitchen just in time, pretending you were preparing for lunch. You catch your breath, clutching your chest.

You calm yourself. There was nothing to be scared of. You were a high-class CEO who could fire someone with a snap with a finger. You could handle your neighbor. You gain some confidence to walk to the living room.

Being a CEO was hard, you had to admit. You were on your own, and you had no one else but yourself. Aside from all that, you were constantly being criticized, and judged, due to you being a woman. It was rare that you saw another woman in the same field as you, and you constantly had to watch your image.

When your father announced you as the successor to his company, you were shocked, to say the least. Your older sister originally had the position, but instead gave it to you, saying that she was “too old for this.” When you protested, your father decided to agree, talking about how you got high grades and went to a good college anyway.

You ended up having the CEO position, with your father and sister to guide you. Soon enough, they let you drift on your own, believing you could get through the trials by yourself. It was difficult, but you had to admit it did make you a stronger woman.

Suddenly, there was the sound of someone knocking, but not on your door, on the painting, the same painting you used to cover the wall. You realized that it was probably your neighbor, and you calm yourself, deciding to not answer the knocking sound.

Soon enough, your neighbor will have the assumption that you’re not home, and leave you alone. The knocking stops, and you hear his footsteps fading away, but not before you hear him say something that made you smile.

“A painting to cover up the hole? Smart.”

Later that night, you’re sitting down on your couch, typing up an email and sipping some tea when the knocking sound happens again.

You decide to not be a jerk and open up. Thank God your makeup was still on.

You walk towards the painting and carefully move it away, and soon enough, you’re face to face with your neighbor. He looked young, around your age, and he had a bright face. His eyes were sparkling, and he had a smile on his face. He laughs when he sees your reaction.

“Hello! You must be my neighbor. We haven’t met yet, I’m Byun Baekhyun.” He puts out his hand for you to shake through the hole in your wall. You smile at his friendliness. What a nice person. “I’m Y/N L/N.” You shake his hand.

“A firm handshake. I like that.” Baekhyun’s comment makes you laugh, and you crouch down so that you can see him clearly. He was wearing an oversized t-shirt with some sneakers, and his blonde hair was pushed back with a headband.

You’re a hundred percent sure you’ve seen him before, but you can’t remember where.

“Hello Ms. Y/N. Do you happen to know what happened to our wall today?” He asks and you feel more comfortable now. He wasn’t an old grandpa who would yell at you if something like this happened. Baekhyun looked like fun, and you felt yourself clicking with him instantly.

You explain what happened, with the pipe leak and the cleanup. “So it won’t be fixed until next week?” Baekhyun stares at the hole. “Sorry. That’s the earliest they can come. Unless you want it to be next month?” You tease, and Baekhyun scoffs but smiles at your attempt to make him laugh.

You were cute, and a bit funny too. You looked around his age, but you looked professional like you were from a rich family. Baekhyun found himself liking you instantly.

“Thanks a lot for updating me about the hole, Y/N.” Baekhyun nods his head. “Technically you were the one who knocked on the painting, but you’re welcome anyway.” You smile, grateful that Baekhyun was a nice man.

You pick up the painting, about to return it, when Baekhyun comes back.

“Oh yeah.” Baekhyun turns around before you can return the massive painting. “Expect me to knock here more often.” Baekhyun points at your painting, smirking, and you blush.

Damn, he was a cutie.

You were about to leave for a meeting when Baekhyun knocked on the painting once more. You were actually pretty early, so you thought you had a little bit of time to talk to him.

You moved the painting aside, and you’re surprised when you see Baekhyun’s face covered with flour. “Hey. Going somewhere?” Baekhyun wiggles his eyebrows and you laugh. “A meeting. What happened to your face?”

“Flour. Speaking of which,” He avoids eye contact with you before continuing. You raise your eyebrows. “This is kinda embarrassing, but can I borrow some sugar? I forgot to buy some and I’m too scared to borrow from the scary old lady from the apartment across from me.” Baekhyun makes you laugh, and you shake your head as you walk towards your kitchen.

“Is that a yes?” Baekhyun calls out and you come back with a jar of sugar. “Don’t forget to return it.” You point your finger at him. “How about I use as much sugar as I want, return the sugar and give you cookies?” Baekhyun’s negotiation makes you think. Cookies did sound good right about now. “You’ve got yourself a deal.” You shake his hand and hand him the sugar.

“I’ll give you the cookies later!” You nod before Baekhyun disappears from sight, probably to finish baking the cookies. You return the painting, before picking up your bag and leaving your apartment.

Truth be told, you never really stopped thinking about your truly fascinating and attractive neighbor, Byun Baekhyun. He was charming, he had a handsome face, and for once, wasn’t a jerk compared to your other neighbors. He had a comfortable and friendly aura, which made you want to be with him more.

When you return from your meeting, you’re surprised by the plastic container in front of your door. You pick it up and go through the package. So Baekhyun did deliver the cookies. You look at the cookies. They were rather large as well.

The package came with the jar of sugar, a note, and a polaroid of him posing with the jar of sugar.

“Dear Y/N,

Thank you for the sugar! I used it well… I hope you enjoy the cookies just like I enjoyed making them. They now taste delicious because of you. Happy munching!

P.S. They taste better with milk.

With love,

Baekhyun xx”

You fold up the note, placing it inside your pocket before you tuck the container under your arm and enter your apartment.

A few minutes later, you sit down on your couch; one leg crossed over the other while you munch on the cookies Baekhyun gave. He was right; the cookies are especially good with milk. You dip your third cookie in a glass of milk as you scroll through your phone, looking up Baekhyun on the internet.

Turns out you were right. You did see Baekhyun before. That was probably because Baekhyun was a whole ass superstar! You never really paid attention to K-Pop and idol groups before, but Baekhyun made you want to change your mind. Turns out he’s part of a famous group called EXO, with eight other members, and he’s the main vocalist.

So Baekhyun sings…You munch on another cookie, nodding your head in approval. Your neighbor was practically perfect. Not only can he sing, or dance, his cookies weren’t bad as well.

The next time Baekhyun knocks though, you promised yourself to pretend not to know that Baekhyun was an idol so that things wouldn’t get complicated.

You’re walking into the kitchen, tying your hair into a bun, before you can start preparing yourself dinner. You had to admit, your cooking was pretty good. Your grandmother and mom taught you how to cook ever since you were small, so it was pretty much in your genes by now.

You’re putting on your gloves and you’re about to start before someone starts knocking on the painting. You ignore Baekhyun’s knocking before you continue cooking your meal until the knocking starts again. You groan, taking out your gloves and walking towards the painting.

“Yes, Baek-” You stop and stare at the friendly face that was staring back at you. It was definitely not Baekhyun. You recognize the smile as one of Baekhyun’s friends. You bumped into him once in the hallway. He was nice and helped you with the large packages that arrived at your door.

“H-Hi! You’re Y/N, right? Baekhyun told me about you!”

“That’s me.” You chuckle, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. His friend was rather tall, so he sat down instead of, unlike Baekhyun who usually squats. “I’m Park Chanyeol, Baekhyun’s best friend.” You shake his hand through the hole in your wall, and Chanyeol looks down in embarrassment.

“What best friend?!” Someone else yells inside Baekhyun’s apartment and you laugh.

“This is weird, especially since we just met, but Baekhyun’s releasing his clothing line today, and it’s his birthday, so we were planning on surprising him. Do you wanna help?” Chanyeol asks. Oh, it’s Baekhyun’s birthday.

“Sure, I would love to help.” Chanyeol smiles widely at your response. “In that case, can you help with the cake? It’ll be a bit suspicious if one of us get it.” Chanyeol scratches the back of his neck and you stand, wiping your hands on the back of your jeans.

“Of course, I’ll go get it now.” You smile and Chanyeol thanks you again. You quickly return the painting and grab your coat before walking out of your apartment.

You enter the elevator and gasp when you see Baekhyun. Chanyeol probably wasn’t ready yet. Baekhyun smiles as he sees you. “Y/N!” He holds the doors open. “Where are you going?”

“The lobby! I have to pick up something, and I need your help. Can you come with me?” You ask, hoping Baekhyun says yes. “Sure. Let’s go.” Baekhyun hops inside the elevator once more and you sigh in relief, pressing the button to the lobby.

The elevator ride is silent, none of you speaking. “How were the cookies?” Baekhyun asks, and you turn around to face him. “They were amazing. You are quite the baker Baekhyun.” You compliment him, and he smiles proudly.

“Thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed them.” The elevator doors open and Baekhyun holds the door open for you, and you quickly step out. “What are you picking up anyway?” Baekhyun’s question makes you freeze.

“It’s my cousin’s birthday, and I’m picking up her cake.” You smile nervously as you go up to the concierge and ask for the cake. Baekhyun stands a few feet away so you hope that he can’t hear you. “Can you hold this for me?” You hand the cake to Baekhyun and he nods.

Once you arrive on your floor, you take the cake from Baekhyun. “Thanks for holding this for me. Now, I know it’s your birthday, so I’m giving you your gift.” You arrive at your doorstep, and Baekhyun nods. “How did you know it was my birthday, though?” Baekhyun’s question makes you laugh nervously.

“Your friend, Chanyeol told me a while back. He helped me with my mail.” Your excuse was lame, but Baekhyun didn’t seem suspicious, so you sighed in relief. “I’ll just head inside to change first.” Baekhyun walks towards his door and you grab his wrist out of reflex.

“No! It’ll be really fast so don’t worry. Just wait out here.” Goodness, you were bad at this. Chanyeol is going to kill you. “Okay then.” Baekhyun laughs at your reaction and you relax, opening your door and practically running inside.

You remove the painting off your wall and call Chanyeol’s name. Chanyeol crouches down and you carefully hand him the cake. “Baekhyun’s outside. Keep your voice down, and I think I blew it for us. He was in the elevator when I was going to pick up the cake.” You whisper, and Chanyeol nods his head. “It’s fine. Thanks for your help, Y/N. Come join the party later.” You nod and smile, taking Chanyeol’s offer.

You put the painting back before exiting your apartment, where Baekhyun stands, leaning against the wall. You had to admit he looked good like that. “So I kinda forgot your gift in the car…I’m sorry.” You say sheepishly and Baekhyun laughs. “It’s fine, it’s not the end of the world.”

“I’ll head inside now,” Baekhyun says and you wave at him. You watch as he enters his passcode and the lock of his door click open. Baekhyun opens his door and gasps when he hears his friends yelling a birthday song for him. You join in, singing him a happy birthday and clapping your hands.

Baekhyun laughs, looking back at you when he realizes you were part of his friends’ entire surprise plan, and he hugs you. You’re taken by surprise but nevertheless hug him back. “Thank you!” He smiles and you hug him back. “Of course! Happy birthday! Blow your candles!” You laugh and Baekhyun turns around to blow all the candles on the cake you delivered.

The rest of the night is spent with Baekhyun celebrating his birthday with you and the rest of his members. There was food, there was cake and of course, there was alcohol. By the time the party ended, you’re knocked out on Baekhyun’s couch, looking extremely drunk and extra sleepy.

Not only were you extremely drunk, you managed to flirt with not one, not two, but three of Baekhyun’s friends and you were convinced that you had a special aura because of how confident you were.

“Baekhyun!” You giggle when Baekhyun sits next to you. Chanyeol was drunk as well, and he sat next to you, waving his hands in front of Baekhyun’s face. “Woah, Chanyeol. You have such big hands!” You giggle as you give him a high five, and both of you burst into laughter. Baekhyun chuckles at your silliness.

“Come on, Y/N. Let’s take you home.” Baekhyun pulls you up and you instantly collide with his chest, making you laugh. “Woah, so manly, Baekhyun!” You hit his chest and he winces because of the pain. “I’m sorry!” You gasp when you notice Baekhyun’s pain.

“It’s fine.” He laughs once more. He thought you were so cute when you were drunk. He hands you a bottle of water. “Drink this first.” You chug down the entire bottle of water, feeling a bit more refreshed and you feel your mind get a bit clearer.

“Let’s go.” Baekhyun wraps his arm around your waist and holds you up. You’re quiet when Baekhyun helps you and practically carries you to your doorstep.

You type in your passcode wearily, obviously tired. “Thanks, Baekhyun.” You mutter, a bit soberer. You smile at him, and you slowly stand on your tippy toes and kiss his cheek, giggling in the process. Baekhyun chuckles at your drunken self and helps you in. “You’re welcome. Thank you for today.“

You groan the next day as you feel the hangover set in. You stretch on your bed, hearing your bones crack before you relax. What happened last night? Baekhyun’s party, you obviously drinking, Baekhyun carrying you home, and you kiss-

You jerk up in your bed as you gasp. You kissed Byun Baekhyun. Idol Byun Baekhyun. On the cheek. Not that bad but it could have escalated if you were still drunk. You hit yourself in the head. Were you that whipped for Baekhyun?

You can imagine it now. The articles, the paparazzi, the anti-fans, swarming, ready to end your career. You were done for. Your career was over. "CEO Y/N L/N in a relationship with EXO’s Byun Baekhyun?”

Haters will come for you, and you’ll never see the light of day again. You panic at the thought, burying yourself in your pillows. Just as you thought it could get any worse, someone rings your doorbell, and you instantly think it’s the paparazzi.

Here they come.

You check your appearance. You fix you slightly messy hair and check your pajamas. You don’t remember changing to pajamas. Unless Byun Baekhyun did it for you.

You shake the weird thought out of your head and do a silent prayer before walking towards your front door. You’re reluctant as you reach for the handle. It’ll be over soon.

You swing your door open and you practically collapse in relief when you see your older sister and your niece by your doorstep. Right, you were supposed to babysit today.

“Why are you so shaken up? It’s just us.” Your sister chuckles as she enters your apartment. You sigh in relief before shutting and locking your door. “It’s nothing.” You shake your head, but your sister’s too busy taking care of your niece to pay attention to you.

“Daphne, you’ll be staying with your aunt today, okay? I will be fetching you later.” Daphne, your niece, nods her head. You sister fixes your Daphne’s dress collar before standing up. “I’ll be going now. Thank you for taking care of her.” Your sister hugs you once more, and you pat her back.

“Say goodbye to mommy.” You pick Daphne up and she giggles before waving at her mother. Your sister laughs before waving at her daughter. “Don’t give your aunt a hard time!” She says before leaving your apartment. You sigh once the door’s closed, and you put Daphne down.

“So Daphne, do you want to play?” Your niece practically screams with joy and jumps in your arms, making you trip and fall on the ground. You giggle as you brush her hair with your fingers.

It was going to be a long day.

Three hours later, after playing with Daphne and running around with her inside your home, you walk into the kitchen to prepare lunch. Daphne was in the living room, doing her math exercises prepared by her mother.

“My God.” You mutter under your breath as you wipe a bead of sweat that formed on your forehead due to the activities you did in one single morning. You were planning some strawberry jam sandwiches for a snack. You open the fridge to get the strawberry jam, just to find it gone.

Daphne must have stolen the jam from your fridge.

“Daphne!” You call out, looking over your shoulder. No response.

You walk out to the living room to find her gone. “Daphne?” You check your room, the bathroom, all the nooks and crannies of your house, just to find her gone. “Daphne? Are you playing hide and seek? If you don’t come out now you won’t get ice cream!”

Still no response. Usually, Daphne would come out right away when you mentioned the sweet dessert, but for some reason, she wasn’t coming out. “Daphne?” You call out once more, but still nothing.

Your eyes go wide when you see your front door open, meaning Daphne obviously went out. You immediately run to the door, opening it wide open to check if Daphne was outside.

Daphne was gone. You panic, wondering how the heck you were going to tell your sister that you lost her daughter. Maybe you should call the police? Or maybe the lobby first so you can check security footage. Or maybe-

You hear laughter coming from one of the apartments. Not just any laugh, Daphne’s laugh. You sigh in relief, thanking God your sister wasn’t going to kick your ass. You hear your niece’s laugh once more, realizing it came from the apartment next to yours.

Baekhyun’s apartment.

Damn it. You swear under your breath as you fix yourself. Out of all of the days you had to meet Baekhyun, it was today. You give yourself a tiny pep talk, before walking over to his apartment and knocking on his door.

Baekhyun opened the door, Daphne safe in his arms. You’re relieved, but at the same time, you had to admit he looked good. He was wearing glasses today, and he looked absolutely adorable with them. You smile awkwardly and wave before turning to face your niece with an angry expression. “Daphne, what are you doing here? Didn’t I tell you not to move?” You scold the child, and she pouts.

For a while, Baekhyun looks shocked but clears his throat before speaking.

“Daphne is your kid? You’re..married?” Baekhyun looks confused and shocked at the same time, but you immediately shake your head in panic. A wave of embarrassment washes over you. He thought you were married? Did you look that old?

“N-no!” You scoff and Baekhyun opens the door for you to enter. “She’s my niece, my sister’s daughter.” You explain quickly.

Daphne giggles as she plays with Baekhyun’s hair. “She came over asking help with her math homework. She was too cute, so I couldn’t say no.” Baekhyun carefully sets Daphne down.

You enter the apartment, seeing crayons and markers scattered all over the floor, as well as some sheets of paper filled with Daphne’s failed drawings. “Show your aunt what you drew, Daphne,” Baekhyun tells Daphne sweetly. Daphne holds up a drawing of what seems to be a flower. Baekhyun holds up his own drawing of a house with a childish grin on his face.

Seeing them together made you smile, and all your worries seem to wash away. “Are you done answering your math homework?” You turn to Daphne and she nods. “He thought me how to do it.” Daphne points at Baekhyun and you and Baekhyun laugh. “He has a name, you know?”

Daphne doesn’t seem to care and continues drawing. “You’re great with children.” You smile at him, and Baekhyun immediately returns the smile. “Thanks a lot. You know, for taking care of her.” You pat Baekhyun’s back as he nods. “Daphne’s a great kid, she has potential. She’s smart too.” Baekhyun pats Daphne’s head and you had to agree. Daphne was an amazing kid, and she could definitely be the successor to the company someday.

You turn to face him with a serious expression on your face. “About last night-”

“Don’t worry about it. You were drunk. It was nothing big.” You let out a big sigh and Baekhyun laughs. “Did you actually worry about it?” His face makes you roll your eyes. “You’re an idol and of course-”

You realize what you said, and you cover your mouth. “Shoot, I didn’t mean that.” Baekhyun looks confused, and you sit down on the couch. “I was supposed to act like I didn’t know you were an idol. You would think I’m one of those fans trying to get close to you just because you’re famous.”

Baekhyun sighs. “Who cares? I don’t really care whether you know if I’m famous or not. Frankly, I know you’re a CEO and I don’t hang out with you just because you’re rich.” Baekhyun watches Daphne with a soft expression. You scoff. “You know I’m a CEO?”

“I did some background research on you too.” You hit him in the arm in shock. Baekhyun did research on you too, huh. “What? I’m not the only creepy stalker here!”

“Bold of you to assume that I’m a stalker.” You stick your tongue out at him. “You seem really professional, Y/N.” Baekhyun rolls his eyes and stands up. “Daphne! Do you want to bake cookies with me?” Hearing this, Daphne stands up almost immediately. “Yes! Let’s go Baekhyun.” Daphne calls him by his name and your eyes go wide.

“Uncle Baekhyun, Daphne! Do not call older people by their first name!” You correct and catch up with them. “You’re such a bad example. She didn’t even have her lunch yet!” You scold Baekhyun and he picks Daphne up in his arms.

“Your aunt is trying to take away all the fun, right Daphne?” He looks at Daphne. Daphne giggles before nodding her head in agreement. You gasp at the betrayal and Baekhyun spins her around. “Majority wins, Y/N. Deal with it.” You roll your eyes before following them to the kitchen.

“Fine. Only today. I’ll only allow it today, okay? I swear your mother’s going to kill me.” Baekhyun and Daphne cheer, as they run to the kitchen to prepare the cookies.

After basically trashing Baekhyun’s home, baking cookies, and eating them for lunch, you’re ready to take Daphne home. The child is crying, and you pat her back as she cries in your arms. “Don’t worry, Daphne, I’ll see you again soon.” Baekhyun’s voice calms the crying child. Daphne continues to cry, trying to reach out for Baekhyun. Baekhyun kisses her forehead softly.

“How about we go see a movie today before you leave?” Baekhyun’s suggestion makes the child stop crying. Daphne face immediately brightens up at Baekhyun’s idea and she nods her head.

Daphne sniffles. “O-Okay. But can we get ice cream after?”

You shake your head no, giving a Baekhyun a threatening glare. He smirks. “Sure, of course, we can. Consider today your cheat day.” He takes Daphne from your arms and the little girl hugs him tightly. “But before we watch the movie, we need to see someone first, okay?” Baekhyun wipes Daphne’s tears and you look at him with a confused expression.

At that moment, someone rings Baekhyun’s doorbell and he sets Daphne down. You take Daphne’s hand, as Baekhyun walks over to the door. He opens it wide open and you stare at the unfamiliar woman by the door. Who was she? His manager?

“Girls, this is my girlfriend. We’ll be watching the movie with her today.”

To say you were heartbroken was an understatement.

The movie date was so boring, and you felt yourself contemplating and thinking about Baekhyun’s girlfriend. How old was she? When did they meet? How long have they been dating? Why doesn’t the press know?

After watching the movie, you took Daphne to say goodbye to Baekhyun and his girlfriend. You had to admit she was extremely pretty, but it still didn’t feel right. Daphne didn’t really care as she licked her ice cream happily.

Daphne said goodbye to Baekhyun and gave him a peck on the cheek. He insisted on the two of you staying for dinner, but you didn’t want to be a third wheel, or even fourth wheel any longer.

You’re ready to leave, and you take Daphne’s hand to lead her to your car. You turn around and smile at them before Baekhyun suddenly stops you by grabbing your wrist.

“Hey, Y/N. I trust you enough, so I hope you don’t tell anyone about my girlfriend. We want to keep it a secret for as long as possible.” He whispers in your ear and you nod. You smile a fake smile, hoping Baekhyun doesn’t notice the pain in your voice. “Of course. Your secret’s safe with me.”

Baekhyun brightens up at your statement. He smiles softly at you. “Thank you for being so understanding. You’re an amazing friend. I don’t know where I would be without you.” He hugs you tightly and you rub his back.

That’s all you were, a friend.

You politely thanked the two of them and brought Daphne home, where your sister picked her up and stayed for dinner. Daphne talked about what happened that day, and your sister looked at you with raised eyebrows.

After dinner was finished, your sister went up to you. “Your neighbor seems interesting. What’s his name?” She asks as you wash the dishes. She leans against the counter as you sigh. “Byun Baekhyun, and don’t worry, he has a girlfriend.” Your sister looks shocked for a while, before her expression changes and she scoffs.

“Byun Baekhyun of EXO? I don’t know them well but they’re pretty legit. Never heard about his girlfriend, though.” She picks up a banana from the counter and peels it. “That’s because they didn’t announce it to the public. I’m sure they’ve been dating for a while.” You finish up the dishes and wipe your hands.

Your sister nods as you walk out into the living room and pick Daphne up. You kiss her forehead and she hugs you tightly. “Thank you Aunt Y/N.” She smiles and kisses your forehead as well. You laugh before handing her to your sister.

“Have a safe trip home, you guys.” You hug your sister before they say goodbye and leave your apartment.

The next time you and Baekhyun saw each other happened somewhere you thought you would never go in your life.

Baekhyun was having a launch party all the way in LA, for his brand, Privé. It was hard, but you had to do it for the company, especially since a large portion of the event was sponsored by them.

You and Baekhyun were still neighbors, sure, but you two never really spoke after your wall was fixed the day after Daphne visited. Maybe Baekhyun sensed that you were a little annoyed and mad at him, so he didn’t bother to talk to you or to even apologize.

There were times where the two of you would bump into each other in the elevator, or in the parking lot. You guys just never really stopped to talk. The two of you would just smile at one another and say hello before going back to your usual business.

So there you sat, watching the event go on in the VIP section. There was a lot of EXO-Ls present, screaming loudly to hopefully get Baekhyun’s attention. You took a sip of a fancy drink that almost looks like alcohol, but in real life, it was just plain sparkling water.

Baekhyun was there, of course, mingling with the people. He looked better than ever. His red hair was now permed, and his entire outfit screamed “confidence”. If you didn’t know better, you would’ve thought he was a strip club owner or a mafia leader.

You watched but never engaged. You never really liked these types of parties, but it was cool to see the clothes and outgits Baekhyun designed. It showed he really was someone special, not just an idol.

His eyes still sparkled as he talked to the interviewers about Privé and his clothing line. You smiled as you watched, admiring the way he looked and how he tried his best to answer each question they fired at him.

Sadly, even though months passed, you were still in love with him.

The press soon found out about Baekhyun’s relationship, but Baekhyun never questioned you or asked if you told anyone about it. Maybe he did trust you that much. Much to your surprise, Baekhyun didn’t break up with his girlfriend and maintained his relationship until this very day.

You sigh as you watch Baekhyun enter the VIP section, sitting rather close to you. You don’t notice him, but you watch as other people go up to him, talk to him and ask him questions. People were giving you strange looks, wondering why you weren’t interested in his presence at all, or why you never made a move on him. You honestly couldn’t care less.

After secretly eavesdropping on Baekhyun’s conversations with other people, you decide it was time for you to leave. Watching him talk to people made you interested, and you continue to watch Baekhyun.

It was human nature for people to be drawn to pretty things. People just can’t help but stare at them. Whether it be clothes, other girls or something pretty in a store, people always turn out to be drawn to them.

That was what was happening to you with Baekhyun.

The way his eyes sparkled, the way he laughs when someone tells him a joke, it made your heart leap for joy. Maybe a little distance will get your mind over him.

You realize that you couldn’t stay any longer, and called your driver to pick you up. A few minutes later, you stealthily exit using the back exit, which leads to an alleyway.

You groan as you msassage your aching ankles. You didn’t walk much, but the heels you were wearing were just really uncomfortable. Just as you’re about to enter your car, someone calls your name. “Y/N L/N!” You turn around to find Baekhyun running towards you. “Baekhyun.” You greet and smile, and you watch as Baekhyun catches up with you, panting.

Shouldn’t he be at the party? What was he doing here? You really thought you left the party without anyone noticing.

“Why are you leaving?”

“I suddenly don’t feel well, so I’m heading back. You answer, leaning against the door of the car. Baekhyun tries to place his hand on your forehead before you grab his wrist. “What are you doing?” You glare at him.

“You seem fine.” Baekhyun pulls his hand away.

You sigh. “What do you want, Baekhyun?” You cross your arms.

He doesn’t say anything for a while, just stands there before taking in a deep breath.

“I broke up with her.” Baekhyun broke up with his girlfriend? You were quite shocked to say the least. The single statement makes your heart leap with joy, and you can feel your heart rate increasing. You luckily manage to keep a poker face. “Why are you telling me this? I’m not part of this.”

“The news outlets will find out tomorrow.” The statement makes you raise your eyebrows. He’s here to waste your time once more.

“Thanks a lot for the info, Baekhyun, but I’m going to go-” You’re stopped as Baekhyun grips your arm. “Don’t go.” He practically begs, and you don’t know whether it’s because of the desperation on his face, or simply because you were drawn to him, but you found yourself staying.

You sigh once more as you signal your driver to wait as you step out of the car.

“What do you want?” You’re genuinely starting to get annoyed now, and if Baekhyun doesn’t get straight to the point, you’re leaving. “The reason why I broke up with her,” Baekhyun stops to suck in a breath. “was because I wanted to be with you.”

You’re surprised and shocked but nevertheless, keep your stance. “Okay?” You didn’t really know how to respond, whether to say no or to tell Baekhyun that you loved him too. Baekhyun senses your confusion and decides to explain.

“Why do you think you got a personal invite to this event?” Baekhyun’s question makes you laugh out loud. Did he really forget?

“Uh…I don’t know? Was it because we literally sponsored this event?” You answer sarcastically and Baekhyun sighs. “Aside from that, I wanted to be with you.” His words made you heart flutter, but you had to admit what he said was kind of cliché. You honestly felt like laughing.

“We’re literally neighbors, Baekhyun. You could’ve knocked.” You state, finding his idea a little bit absurd. “You would’ve slammed the door in my face.” Baekhyun pointed out almost immediately.

That was true. You nod in agreement.

“Listen, it’s okay if you don’t take my confession, but I want to be with you. The reason why I broke up with her was because I realized I love you, Y/N.” His words were sweet, and you think about it for a while. He loves you, and he wants to be with you.

“You’re an idol, Baekhyun. No matter what you say, I can’t be with you. How will your fans react? I still have an image to protect, Baekhyun. I’m a CEO, and if my image is damaged, my entire company’s image is damaged. It’s hard enough being a woman.” You tell him, looking down.

You really wanted to be with him, but you knew it was practically impossible because of Baekhyun’s status.

“Chanyeol approves it.” He mutters under his breath, and you chuckle at his statement. “Even if. I don’t want to live the rest of my life running a business with your fans sending death threats at me.” You cross your arms and Baekhyun thinks for a while.

After a few moments of silence, Baekhyun speaks. “I’ll make a statement,” Baekhyun says. “I’ll stop it. I promise.”

You raise your eyebrows and stare at Baekhyun. He looked so vulnerable, but you still had to protect your image, so there was nothing you could do. “How will you make this work?” You ask, checking your watch.

“When we get back, I promise I’ll take you on the best date you ever went on. We can even bake cookies after.” The memory makes you smile, and you realize that one date wouldn’t hurt.

You hate that you can’t say no.

“You have one date, Byun. If I get any sort of death threat, or I don’t like it-”

“Don’t worry. You don’t ever have to see me again. I’ll even move out.” Baekhyun’s punishment on himself was a bit harsh, but you nod in satisfaction and shake his hand. “Deal.”

Now’s the time.

Baekhyun immediately brings you in for a hug, and you laugh as he lifts you off the ground and spins you around. He presses his lips against yours and you laugh. “People might see.” You mutter against his lips but that doesn’t stop him.

“I’m making a statement, remember?” Baekhyun’s way too excited to care right now, but he carefully sets you down for your sake. "You still have one date. I’m not your girlfriend yet.” You can’t help but smile at him though.

You laugh, taking in the familiar scent of his cologne as you hug him, and he chuckles as he kisses your forehead. “You’re literally making me the luckiest man alive.” You laugh, as he takes your hand.

“Tell your driver to go home. I know you’re not sick, so after the event, I’m taking you out to dinner.” Baekhyun says as you groan, walking back to your car. Baekhyun can’t help but laugh at your cuteness. You were just too cute.

You roll your eyes as you walk back towards the venue. Baekhyun takes your hand and you lace your fingers together.

“This is where we part ways. I’ll tell them I had to go to the bathroom because of the number two.” You laugh at his excuse. “We’ll meet here after exactly one hour, okay?” He says by the back entrance of the venue. You nod in agreement.

He gives you a quick peck on the lips as he holds the door handle. “Thank you for giving me a chance.” He smiles sweetly before he opens the door, the loud music and the chatter of the crowd filling your ears as you enter the party once more.

That’s when you realized how much of an impact Baekhyun had on you. No matter how much you resist, no matter how many times you say you won’t, there’s always going to be this one person you always go back to, and his name is Byun Baekhyun.

#byun baekhyun #exo #byun baekhyun fluff #byun baekhyun imagines #byun baekhyun scenarios #byun baekhyun x reader #exo fluff #exo scenarios #exo x reader #exo k #exo m #exo fic #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun imagines #baekhyun scenarios #my angel👼🏻#mine

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reallyautomaticvoid · 5 years

Text

Calling It: Good Intentions: Chapter 9: Six Types of Faux Cheese

Summary:

Batman tries to catch up with Red Robin. Then Bruce does have a conversation with Tim. Sort of. Oh, and Jason is horrified with Tim’s dining choices.

TW: angst; minor violence

Batman is not eavesdropping. He's monitoring. There's a difference.

He can feel Alfred's disapproval.

Two checks are already in the mail to the young woman (Jayla Smith) and the Williams from the Wayne Foundation.

Batman knows Red Robin is in town before Nightwing catches up with him during patrol.

"You did what, Nightwing?" Bruce pulls a weary hand over his face, trying to comprehend what his eldest told him. "You understand what an enormous invasion of his privacy that is?"

"You sound just like Babs," Dick pouts. It's the same pout that Dick used to use when Bruce had told Dick he couldn't bring an elephant home with him from the circus.

"Good." Because that means Bruce is doing something right.

Dick runs a hand through his hair. "I just wanted to know how Tim's doing."

"And you didn't just ask because…" Bruce lets his question trail off, squinting at Red Hood's current location.

Dick doesn't answer. Because they both know what the answer would be.

"How's Hood's let's teach Robin how a family works lesson going?"

Bruce nods a few roofs over. Nightwing's head swivels to look.

Both winces as Red Hood drags Robin down a fire escape to spy on something while Robin refuses to move. Unfortunately for Damian, Jason easily has a hundred pounds on the youngest (and virtual no shame in doing this), so Robin's going where Hood wants.

For what it's worth, Jason appeared to be having the time of his life. Damian…not so much.

"Well, it could be worse I suppose," Dick sighs, watching Damian trying to remove Robin's cape (or Jason's hand; could be either one honestly) with a Batarang.

Bruce grunts.

"Should we go and help?"

"No," Bruce grimaces as Hood puts a hand on Robin's forehead to prevent the younger vigilante from hitting him. "They're almost done. Robin has a test in the morning, and Hood promised Robin would get at least six hours of sleep."

"Alright," Dick hums. "I have a few leads I need to run down for O. See you." Nightwing takes a running leap before landing on the neighboring roof.

Batman watches his eldest son until he disappears in the direction of the docks before turning the opposite direction.

Before patrol, Bruce found Red Robin's usual Gotham patrol route. He had wanted to observe Red in the field; something he hasn't done in an embarrassingly long time. It takes an hour of searching before Batman touches down; finding Red Robin fighting a group of muggers.

Batman sticks to the shadows, not wanting to draw focus from the fight, but still close enough he could hear and step in if need be. Bruce observes his youngest adopted son. However, it doesn't appear Red Robin will need Batman's help.

Red moves like water.

For the briefest of moments, Batman's hit with pangs of nostalgia. He wants to help Red take down the muggers like he'd been Robin. Batman wants to have Red's back and for Red to have his.

Batman quashes the feeling. Regret is for Bruce to deal with; not Batman.

Instead, Batman studies Red's moves.

They were precise. Controlled. Deadly.

Batman's eyes narrowed.

Red perform a distinct flip over mugger number two that flows seamlessly into a kick to mugger number three chin before taking mugger number two and throwing him into mugger number four.

Batman clenches his fist, exhaling through his nose. He recognizes the fighting style Red's using. Batman forces himself to inhale slowly from his nose. There's only one place in the world where Red could have learned those moves. Batman's mouth became a thin line. Red's elbow soared into mugger number four's nose.

He knows he'd never taught Tim those moves. He never wanted Tim to know those moves.

Dick was right. Bruce had been out of the loop longer than he realizes.

With a mixture of pride and fury, Batman watches as Red takes down the last of the mugger. Red grabs mugger number one by the collar before leaning in. Batman looks on as Red whispers furiously to the mugger. The man looks frightened. The mugger wildly shakes his head no before Red shakes him again. Dazed now, but still terrified, the mugger continues with his head shaking.

Red growls before punching the mugger out cold. He then shuffles through the mugger's pockets before dropped him like a sack of potatoes and kicking him aside.

Batman stiffness at Red's actions. Back when Tim was Robin, Bruce had never seen Robin be so…aggressive. Tim's always been the best at controlling his emotions. Measured. Purposeful of his movements. Precise. Sometimes, to an alarming degree.

Red, however….

Red's back straightens before looks directly at Batman. It's Red's turn for his mouth to thin. They stare at each other for a full minute. Bruce opens his mouth to say something, but in one fluid motion, Red turns his back on Batman, tying up the mugger before pulling out his grappling gun before shooting it onto the roof and flying away.

In a blink, Red's gone.

* * *

Shit, shit, mother fucking shit. How long had Batman been watching me? Goddamnit.

The ground rushes pass under Red's feet. The lead that he's been following for the better part of a month had just hit another dead end. Annnnnnd He's all out of clues.

Annnnnnd Batman had been watching him. He'd seen Red's momentary lose control.

Red soars over two roofs landing hard next to a pair who were robbing an ATM. Because he can't catch a fucking break tonight.

"Ah, great, it's a freak in a fuckin' cape."

"Yeah, that's on my business card," Red punches robber in the face. "Red Robin: Freak in a fucking cape, for all your party needs." The second robber grabs Red from behind, but Red throws him over his shoulder onto the ground. "Guess what?" Red grabs the robber he'd punches in the face before slamming him against the wall. "I'm running a two for one special tonight."

"Lucky us," Robber number two grunts.

"Yup. That means you two," Red pulls a net out, throwing it to catch the robber who started to run away, "are going down for the price of one."

"Yeah?"

A flicker of motion in the corner of his eye catches Reds attention. He glances over. Of course. Red scowl. Batman had found him.

Again. Why in the Hell did Batman pick tonight of all nights to babysit him?

"Yeah," Red pulls out zip ties from his belt, looping them around the robber's wrists, pulling them tight. The wail of sirens screech towards him.

Goddamnit, Batman.

Apparently, the Dark Knight decided Tim isn't able to handle his patrol tonight.

Fantastic.

Red fires his grappling gun, shooting it towards the farthest building Batman, cape whipping around as he flies. Red's feet slam down onto the rooftop. Pausing, Red looks around.

The Perch is miles away. Red's brain flashes to his bike, still tucked in its nook in his garage because it was going to be an easy night. Get the info and get out. That's it.

Even if he made it back to his apartment, Batman already proved he isn't shy about breaking and entering.

Although lost in thought, Red notes Batman is following him. A few building behind but still.

Batman doesn't even trust me to get home on my own. Great. Fan-fucking-tastic.

Switching gears, Red turn, sliding down a fire escape. Landing with a soft thump, Red slides into a dark corner which doubles as a secret entrance to one of his safe houses.

Punching the code into the keypad, the door open with a soft hiss. Red is in the safe house before the door properly opens, fumbling to secure the door again. There's a distinct metal on metal whine before the satisfying chirp of his security system coming to life.

Red flicks the switch to the camera feed from the alley he just vacated. Batman slides down the same fire escape.

Batman slowly wheels around. He's studying the alleyway, trying to figure out how Red escaped his clutches.

Good luck. Hood helped Red set up this safe house specifically to escape the Bats.

"We need to talk, Red." It's barely more than a whisper. Tim's not even sure he correctly. He'd have to look over the footage again before he can be sure.

The Dark Knight's lips thinned before the cape crusader disappears with a whirl of his cape.

Red lets out an irritated snort.

That went well.

Ripping off his cowl, Red throws it to the side before sinking to the ground, rubbing his forehead in vain hope to get rid of the headache beginning to bloom behind his eyes.

He's out of leads. Instead of hunting down new ones, he's been forced to spend the better part of the night trying to escape different members of the Batclan, who, for some Gods only know reason had chosen tonight to pretend to give a crap. And to top it all off, Tim's got fucking board meetings all day tomorrow.

Tim glances at his watch and groans.

Crap.

In less than four hours, Tim had board meetings all day.

Knowing he isn't going to make it to the Perch that night, Tim stands up and in one motion takes off the rest of his uniform before setting his phone's alarm to go off in three hours and crashing onto the bed.

* * *

Bruce's chin is resting on his interlaced fingers. Staring (glaring) at the Batcomputer, watching the footage of Red Robin fighting the muggers on a loop for the last hour. Bruce had thought Dick had been overly dramatic about Tim (as his eldest tended to do).

Now however.…

Tim had never run from Bruce. Or Batman. He'd always been the one Bruce counted on to run towards him, in either form but Red had fled when Batman tried to catch up with him before disappeared completely, of course. Bruce ground his teeth. Red disappearing before Batman got a chance to talk to his son fills Bruce with a sense of fury and pride.

A cup of coffee appears in front of Bruce with a soft clink. "

Masters Damian and Dick have gone to bed, Sir. Master Damian was unusually exhausted after his night of ‘pointless actives'," Bruce didn't need to turn to see the old man's smirk. "Master Jason is still out on patrol but radioed in saying not to wait up. What's are we watching, Master Bruce?"

Bruce glances up at Alfred who is standing at Bruce's shoulder, staring up at the screens.

"Red," Bruce grunt. He leaned back in his chair. "Notice anything?"

"He is quite thin."

Bruce suppresses a snorted because, yes, that would be the first thing Alfred notices. "Yes, he is. Recognize the style?"

Alfred frowns, leaning in. "Is that—are those…?" His voice trails off. "My word. Those are—"

"League of Assassin moves," Bruce scowls at the screen. "Apparently, Ra's has been teaching Tim some new moves." Bruce ran his hand down his face. "I knew…I knew that Tim had taken some time. Explored the world." Guilt began to weigh down in Bruce's gut. "I knew that Tim had some difficultly after losing Robin. But going to Ra's…."

Bruce's voice trails off, watching for the hundredth time his third son land a complicated motion. The Demon's Trap. When the hell did Ra's taught Tim this? Why the hell did Ra's taught him this? Bruce only knew about the move because Talia had shown it to him once, telling him it was a jealously guarded Al Ghul secret. No one outside of the family had ever been taught it. Not even Damian, who was deemed too young.

But here's Tim, doing it like he's been doing it his whole life. It's natural. It's deadly.

One millimeter. That's all would take. One millimeter to go from a stunning blow to a deadly one. But Tim knew right from wrong.

He wouldn't slip.

He couldn't slip.

Unwanted memories threaten to overtake Bruce. One of a young Red bubbled to the surface.

Bruce could still feel the brisk night air on his skin. He'd only taken the Batman mantle back from Dick a few weeks before. He was still getting back into the grove of being Batman; working with a new Robin. Bruce hadn't known that Red Robin was in town. He hadn't seen his son since Tim had pulled Bruce from the time stream.

This hadn't been the circumstances Bruce wanted for their first meeting. Then again, having a screaming match with one of his sons across a roof was on-brand for Batman.

"You don't understand what he did, Batman." Red crosses his arms.

Batman looms over Red, staring at his once partner. "It doesn't matter, Red. There are some lines we never cross."

"I tried to stop it! Hell, I stop my plan! Why else would I be up here? How the hell was I supposed to know Ra's was sending along some added insurance?"

"Because you should always know."

"Not all of us are omniscient, B. Some of us make mistakes."

"Then you should be better."

"I didn't pull the trigger!"

"No, you didn't. You just lined up the shot. And now someone's dead." Bruce's eyes stray over to the cold body of Harkness. Blood is still oozing from the bullet hole in his skull. "And there isn't anything we can do to get around that."

Red coldly laughs. "Except for Hood and your new little Robin, right? They'll get as many free murder passes as they want, right?"

Batman didn't answer because Bruce doesn't have an answer.

Red shakes his head before disappearing into the night.

The next morning, Bruce read the Gotham Gazette and discovers Jack Drakes' murder had been killed the previous night. A suspected gang shooting. Isn't it always in Gotham? That or a vigilante.

Tim Drake-Wayne had not been available to comment. He'd been back to San Francisco before the sun kissed the morning sky.

It had taken months of arguing between himself and Selina and himself and Alfred to see that Tim was just another victim in this.

He'd tried to talk to Tim about it, but anytime a discussion would stray away from work (WE or otherwise) Tim would shut it down. Tim barley tolerated Brucie Wayne interference at Wayne Enterprises back then. He would smile and say all the right things for the cameras and listening ears, but when they were gone, so was he.

So Bruce back off. He let Tim come around in his own time. And he'd started too. At least, that's what Bruce thought.

Alfred puts his hand on Bruce's shoulder, squeezing it. "Don't worry, Master Bruce, Master Tim will come back."

Bruce continues to glare at the screen.

Alfred sighs, "Master Bruce, I know this will be hard for you to understand, but not everything is lost. He's still here. You're still here. I've never known you to give up a fight." Alfred paused before murmuring, "even if it would do you some good too."

Bruce didn't react to the words.

Alfred sighed. "Not everything is your fault, sir."

"No. But I think this might be."

* * *

Beep, beep, beep.

Tim shuts the alarm off on his phone without a looking. Despised being tired, Tim hadn't been able to sleep. Natural solution? Starting his post-mission reports.

"Da fuck are you doing here? Don't you have a nice, cozy apartment, not one mile from here?"

Tim glances up from his laptop to see Jason coming in through the window before going back to his computer. "Long story," Tim crisply replies.

Jason hums back while he heads back to the kitchen. Staring at his laptop, Tim cringes as he heard one, two, three crashes and Jason swearing coming from the kitchen.

"Motherfucker. Who the Hell put this kitchen together," There's another crash followed by a nasty crunching sound. "Goddamnit, Replacement! What moron taught ya how ta put a kitchen together? I'd like ta shoot them."

Tim doesn't remind Jason that he's the one who put the kitchen together.

Tim glance up to see Jason in the doorway, holding a bag. "You know nothin' eatable should be this color, right?"

"I like cheese puffs."

Jason shakes the bag. "And why the fuck do ya have six different types of fake cheese but no actually cheese?"

"I like cheese puffs," Tim repeats.

Jason reads the bag he's holding. "Dis says it's with real cheese."

"See health food."

"I don't see cheese listed in the ingredients."

"I'm sure it's there."

"Ya shouldn't eat anything this color."

"Yeah, well, sue me."

"Okay, how much ya worth?"

"Less than it's worth to you to deal with the press."

"Good point."

"Jay?"

"Ya?"

"Get out of my kitchen. What the fuck were you looking for?"

"I was looking for food. Ya know, the stuff that's supposed ta be in a kitchen," Jason turned back into the kitchen. "Is there anything in here that isn't processed?"

"Coffee."

"Doesn't count."

"Oh. Probably not then." Tim glares at his report which is refusing to make any sense. The slight throbbing behind his eyes isn't helping. What was he writing up again? Right. The lead that has him following the—suddenly, his laptop is yanked off of his lap.

"Hey," Tim scowls at Jason, "I was working on that."

"Yer always working," Jason shoves a burrito into Tim's empty hands. "Take a break. Eat." As if on cue, Tim's stomach growls. Jason smirks at him before sinking onto the bed next to Tim. "Sound's like you're hungry."

Tim glowers at Jason for a second before taking a comically large bite, almost choking on it before getting the food down. Jason snickers at Tim.

"Shut up," Tim coughs.

"Ya can take down an international arms dealer without any coffee but can the great Red Robin take down a breakfast burrito? Wait until the Rogues find out," Tim flip Jason off while Jason laughed. "Oh, yeah, that' real intimating. You got a little egg right," Jason reaches out to smack Tim in the face while Tim laughs, ducking Jason's hand.

"Fuck off. I'm fine."

Jason snorts.

"What? I am," Tim adds, defensively.

Batman probably sent him here to check up on me because I beat the crap out of those mercenaries last night.

Expect, Jason wouldn't do that, right?

"Riiiiiiight. And I'm well adjusted."

"I'm glad to hear you say that, Jason. I know the others have been worried about you. Personally, I don't see why. Who isn't well adjusted after being beaten to death by the Joker and brought back to life by their adoptive father on again off again Baby Mama?"

Jason blinks at Tim before throwing a crumpled napkin at Tim's head that Tim easily avoids.

"Dick."

"Sorry, not sorry; he's not here. Check the Manner."

Jason snorts. "Speaking of Dick," Tim tense, not liking where this conversation is headed, "we had a family meeting."

"Really?"

See, no invite, not part of the family. And that's fine.

"Yeah. You came up."

Tim's suddenly fascinated by his burrito. He doesn't want to talk about this (whatever this is) over crappy half-frozen breakfast burritos.

Or to Jason.

Or at all.

Short of jumping out a window, Tim doesn't see a way out of this. It's a tempting thought, though. Then again, Jason would probably jump out after him and sit on Tim while they chat. That would be uncomfortable for both parties. Although for Jason it'd probably just be the whole, he's sitting on Tim thing rather than Tim who would be suffocating.

Instead, Tim waits. "And?"

Jason shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

Great, they probably want me out of the city and Jason drew the short straw. Wonder if they'll give me enough time to move out all of my stuff before running me out of town?

"Dick said dat he took the Robin away from ya."

Ah. That's what this heart to heart was about.

I'd rather be run out of town than talk about this.

Tim drops his burrito before getting up and heading towards his closet. It houses some emergency Tim Wayne suites just in case.

"Old news, Jason. It's fine."

"Bullshit," the venom in Jason's voice make Tim pause. "That's bullshit, Repla—Tim. You might be able ta hoodwink the others but not me. I'm the only other person on this fucking planet who knows what the fuck that feels like."

"Jason, I don't know what—"

"Yeah, ya do."

Yeah, he does.

"You know it's okay ta be pissed at him."

"Jason. It's old news," Tim Wayne's voice is firm. Decisive. There isn't any grey area in his tone. "I'm fine," Tim ignores Jason's disbelieving eye roll. "I'm over it."

"Bullshit. There's no fucking way you're over it." Jason pauses before he muttering, "I'm not fucking over it, Tim. There's no way in fucking hell that you're over it."

Tim pauses because, shit, "Jason—"

"Nah, that's really old news, Tim," Jason gives Tim a wry smile, "I was dead, after all. Who'd known that I was gonna come back?"

"Batman. Or Talia."

Jason laughs before sobering. "You know, I'm here for you Timbit, if you ever need anything. Talk about your feelings, hid a body, whatever. I'll even make sure it doesn't get back to the Bat."

A smile brushes Tim's lips. "I know Jay. Thanks."

* * *

Thump.

Tim looks up from the mountain of forms to see that Tam had placed a full mug of coffee down in front of him. He nods his thanks before picking up the full mug inhaling deeply from the cup. It was Tim's favorite blend, an Arabica bean blend from Costa Rica, cost twenty dollars a pound, and only brought out for emergencies.

Which can only mean one thing.

"I have good news, bad news, and worst news."

Called it.

"How are you so giddy when you're about to give your boss bad news," Tim reclines in his CEO chair.

"Talent," Tam smiles, "hey look, bonus good new for you bossman! You have a talented, patience, wonderful assistant who is criminally underpaid."

"I already knew that, Tam," Tim chuckles, sipping his coffee. "You tell me that weekly."

"And I have yet to see a raise," Tam sighs dramatically.

"I'll put it on my to-do list," Tim studies Tam as he sips his coffee. She's subconsciously shifting her weight from one foot to the other. This isn't normal Tam behavior.

"Alright then, out with it."

Tam waits for Tim to put his mug down before launching into her speech, "Mr. Wayne is here to see you. As in, Bruce fucking Wayne is sitting in our waiting area refusing to leave until you see him."

A minuscule groan escapes from Tim before he could help himself. It's been three hours since Tim had seen anyone in the Batfamily.

Tam doesn't comment, "he also said to tell you that it's been a while since Brucie has done anything overly…eccentric."

An acute throbbing beginning to form in Tim's front temple. Tim sips his coffee.

Tim squeezes his eyes shut so the light couldn't enter his vision; praying that he could hold off the migrant that was threatening to take over his skull all morning. He exhales slowly through his nostrils trying (and failing) to control the pounding in his head.

"I don't suppose you told him that I had a full day," Tim's controlled voice asks.

Tam tuts, "what, I'm I new here? Of course I did."

"A full day that includes a meeting with the board and investors," Tim continues, ignoring Tam's sarcasm.

"Told him that too."

"And he doesn't care?"

"Not in the least."

"Great."

"Yep. You want me to show him in?"

No.

"Fine. Call me when the board meeting is about to start. The last thing I need today is to miss that meeting."

"Will do, Tim," she turns to leave.

"Hey, wait a minute," Tam pauses, looking back at Tim, "you said you had good news."

"Yeah," Tam smirks, "I brought you coffee."

Tim snorts making a mental note to an email to the payroll department later that day to give Tam a pay increase.

Tam give Tim a significant smile before cracking the entryway open, "Tim will see you now."

Tam moves aside as Brucie strolls in bearing a large paper bag. Tam's mouths behave to Tim before shutting the door. Bruce and Tim watch each other for a moment before Bruce crossing the room in three strides, settling in one of the two chairs in front of Tim's desk.

"Bruce, what can I do for you," Tim inquires, twirling around in his chair, sliding papers about, searching for his notes for the board meeting. It has nothing to do with the man settling himself in Tim's previously vacant seat.

Really. It didn't.

"I don't have very long; the board meeting is about to start, but, if you want to give me the deets real quick, or write them down, I'll get to it as soon as possible."

"Tim," Tim's body freezes for a split second, old Robin training kicking in because that tone never meant anything good, before remembering he's not that Robin anymore (remember?), "I'm not here for anything. Not a case, not to start a fight."

Tim's fight or flight response twitches as despite Bruce's calm tone. It makes Tim think of better times, back in the days when Tim had been Robin, and Bruce had comforted the then young Robin after a rough patrol. Tim shakes himself, remembering the time and place they're currently in.

"I have something to give you."

Tim searches his memories. Why on Earth would Bruce be giving Tim anything? Or anybody else in the Batfamily for that matter? Is there something he'd missed? Tim glances at the calendar fastening to the wall. There aren't any holidays coming up; Tim ceased celebrating his birthday years ago.

A swirl of painful memories well up whenever Tim thinks too hard about his birthday so he'd stop celebrating it. There isn't any reason for the Bats to be giving Tim the time of day, let alone anything else.

It takes Bruce clearing his throat for Tim to register that he'd frozen while looking through his papers. Tim seizes the notebook he'd been hunting for before turning back to face Bruce.

Tim lifts his eyebrows at Bruce; keeping his voice indifferent, he says, "oh, you already have the info for me? Great, I'll look at it when I get back from the board meeting. But I have to get going now, or I'm going to be late."

Tim makes to get up, but Bruce is faster.

Fucking Batman.

He flips the paper bag over, dumping the contents onto Tim's desk. Jumping back into his chair, he almost topples over (silver lining, he doesn't shriek). Recovering himself quickly (because, well, Bats) Tim inspects the bits of paper that littered the top of his desk.

It was regular, white, dull, printer paper. Tim studies several pieces of confetti with the WE letterhead on it. The print on the paper was minuscule. He picks up a bit with his loopy signature on it. There are at least three more pieces.

What the hell would Bruce have with my signature all over it?

Tim shoots Bruce a cynical expression before his CEO mask slips back on, "shredded paperwork? Is this some sort of bizarre protest? You want WE to go paperless or something? Or," Tim picks up a handful of the confetti, throwing it up in the air, "do you want us to host a party?"

Jerk move? Sure. Every so often though it was worth it.

Bruce furors his brow. "No."

Yep, he's getting a Bat induced migraine. Great, been a while since I got one of these. Tim waits for his former mentor to say something while Bruce stares unblinkingly at Tim.

Tim sighs, "look, Bruce, I have a board meeting," glancing at the clock on his computer and wincing, "liiiiiike now, so could you tell me what you need?"

Bruce gives Tim an unimpressed look. Not that Tim isn't entirely used to that look by now, typical though, it was a bit more subtle.

And from Damian.

Or Dick.

Although Batman had been known to give all of his Robins that look at one time or another.

Once, Jason and Dick argued over who'd gotten that look more often. After an hour of fighting, Alfred finally put the argument to rest with a raised eyebrow.

Tim hadn't said it at the time, but he knew he was the one who got the most Wayne unimpressed looks.

And not just from Damian.

With a buzz and flashing red light of the intercom, Tim broke off the staring contest (battle of wills) between himself and Bruce.

"Hey Tim, the board meeting is about to start," Tam's voice crackles through the speaker.

Tim presses the intercom button, "thanks, Tam. I'll be out in just a minute. Can you tell the board I'll be there shortly?"

"Will do bossman," with a chirp, the intercom's red light goes out.

This time, when Tim gets up, Bruce does not shower his desk with shredded paper so, yay for small victories, right?

Tim grabs his notes for the board meeting, praying his pounding skull won't turn into headache until after the board meeting. As Tim reaches for the door handle, those dreams are dashed.

"How's Ra's?"

It was a simple question.

It really is.

One that makes Tim stop dead in his tracks.

How the hell did Bruce find out about Tim's vacation (shut up Con, it was. I slept and everything, okay?!)? He vaguely remembers Bart or Con or someone telling him they talked to Jason when Tim was gone, but they'd kept Jay on a need to know. They only told Jason that Tim was missing and texted Jay when Tim back.

Mostly.

Tim knows his team wouldn't have said anything about his time with Ra's.

Mostly because they still didn't know anything about what happened with him and Ra's.

There's only so many times you can turn down a millennium-old megalomaniac before his feels start to get hurt.

Then again, this is Batman he's dealing with. Tim wouldn't put it past Bruce to put a tracker in the back of his neck like a dog one of the many times he'd been unconscious in the Batcave. It was just the sort of thing Batman would do.

This must be the real reason Bruce bothered to visit Tim today. It's probably why Batman followed Red for hours last night. Maybe it's just another fucking power game between Ra's and Bruce. It's been a while since I've been caught in the middle of one of those. Fantastic, those are always a fucking mess to clean up.

Keeping his CEO mask firmly in place, Tim turn. Bruce hasn't moved from his chair. He's gazing up at Tim with a calculating expression. Tim raises an eyebrow at him.

"What are you talking about, Bruce?"

A flicker of annoyance and something else (concern? Couldn't be. That feeling is revered for essential people) flashes across Bruce's face so quickly, if Tim had blinked he would've missed it. As is, Tim isn't sure what he saw it at all.

"I think," Bruce's voice is controlled like he's choosing each word with great care. Odd but okay, "you know exactly what I'm talking about Tim." Bruce pauses, clearly expecting Tim to say something, but when Tim remained silent, Bruce carries on, "Red has picked up some new…moves."

Oh.

OH.

OHHHHHH.

Tim has to physically stop himself from slumping in relief (a small sigh of relief does escape before he could stop it). Bruce's talking about Red.

Specifically, the training that he received from Ra's during Bruce's disappearance. Bruce doesn't know about Tim's vacation; otherwise, Tim would be wearing a Goddamn ankle monitor.

Bait's hard to find nowadays.

Especially good bait.

Carefully, Tim says, "you know I spent some time with…them when you were…gone. What did you think we were doing? Drinking tea?"

Bruce presses his lips together so tightly, they're in danger of disappearing. Evidently, this isn't a good enough answer for him. Well, too fucking bad, that's all he's getting. Tim glances at his watch, willing his headache not to get any worse.

It does. Plus Tim's late.

Great.

"Look, Bruce, it was great seeing you and all, but I have to go. Gotta make sure your family company stays in the black."

Bruce grimaces. "That reminds me, last night Dick--"

Tim walks out of his office before Bruce could finish his sentence.

* * *

Despite what the clock in board meeting said, Tim is sure he'd been in that room all day. Like really, how many times does Tim have to shoot down the idea of selling WE's stock to Queen Consolidate? Even if they offer double the asking price, it's the principle of the matter.

His pounding head hadn't helped matters. Tim managed to ignore it throughout the meetings, but now he's going to have to pay the price.

Reaching Tam's desk, Tim glancing around for any eavesdroppers. When he doesn't see anybody, he turns back to Tam. "Hey, Tam," she glances at him while typing on her computer.

"Hey, Tim," Tam smiles.

"Yeah, hey. Listen, tell me there isn't anything else on the books for today," at Tam's narrowing eyes (which clearly says, you want to skive off work don't you?), Tim is quick to continue, "it just, I'm getting the worst headache, and I don't want it to, you know, get any worse."

At the mention of Tim's headache, Tam's eyes soften. Being as she was the only person at WE who knows about his missing spleen, whenever Tam hears a sneeze she'd happily send her boss home. Typically, it's annoying; Tim ignores most things Tam call ‘debilitating disease'.

Who doesn't come into work with walking pneumonia? It's called walking for a reason.

This does give Tim a distance advantage at the moment. Whenever he askes to leave because of illness, Tam always obliges.

Tam opens his calendar on her computer, looking at his schedule, "well, there aren't any appointment for today. I knew you were going back out of town for work, so after the board meeting I didn't put anything else on the schedule."

Tim feels a real smile pulling at the corners of his lips. "Great, thanks, Tam."

Tam hums in acknowledgment. Tim enters his office and sees the heap of shredded paper still on his desk. Tim sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Tam?"

"Yes, bossman," her voice comes from right behind Tim. If Tim hadn't once been a Bat, he would've jumped.

Periodically, Tam tries to do something to startle Tim. She has yet to succeed. Instead of discouraging her, she seems to have taken this as a personal challenge.

Instead, he turns to look at her, gesturing at his desk. "Why?"

Tam leans around Tim to look. She raises an eyebrow before walking around him and over to his desk. Tam picks up a shredded piece of paper.

"Wow. I wondered what Mr. Wayne did with those contracts."

Tim give Tam with a puzzled look, "contracts?"

Tam fixes Tim with an incredulous look. "He came in last week, asking for the contracts that would change ownership of the company from you to Dick, Damian, or himself," she shifts guiltily. "I, uh, might not have been the most polite about giving him the contracts."

Oh, Tim could imagine what Tam would have been like with Bruce. She'd made her displeasure over the documents existing known, stating quite clearly that if they were ever signed, she was quitting on the spot.

The memory of her glaring at Tim still warms his insides.

"Anyways, he asked to see the contracts yesterday and when I…inquired as to why Mr. Wayne would need these contracts…well, I think I have a decent idea what Gotham Criminals see nightly," Tam grimaces. Yeah, Tim has gotten a few of those looks in his lifetime. "So I pulled the contracts and gave them to him, but I got a call before I knew it, he was gone."

Yeah, that sounded like Bruce.

"What's that got to do with…all of this?"

Shooting Tim an annoyed look, Tam says, "what do you think?"

She holds up the piece in her hand for Tim's inspection. Sighing, Tim takes the bit Tam's holding out before she dumps handful onto his palm.

It could be…no. Bruce wouldn't be stupid enough to shred the paperwork giving him back the company. Although this arrangement does give him more time for Batman….

As Tim muses to himself, Tam takes his recycle bin from the side of Tim's desk and starting to sweep the shredded paper into it. At the very bottom of the pile of debris, there's an envelope with Tim's name written in elegant handwriting.

Bruce's handwriting.

Bruce must have slipped it under the confetti somehow.

Fucking Batman.

The last scrap of paper flutters into the bin Tam's holding as Tim picks up the letter. Flipping it over, he sees the Wayne family crest on the envelope.

He wrote this at the Manner. He wrote this in the Manner before bringing it here. It's something he planned. Not a spur of the moment thing.

Tam, eyeing Tim, says, "I'll be right outside if you need anything, Tim. Okay?"

"Yeah, thanks, Tam," Tim absentmindedly replies.

Tim waits until he hears the door click shut after Tam. He weighs his options.

He could one, open the letter now, two, wait until he got home to open it, or three (and the most logical course of action), tosses it.

Ignoring Bruce is never a good idea. He can be just as, if not more, persistence than Dick once he's noticed something.

This is going to be my life for the next year, isn't it? Various Bats harassing me until they get bored or there's another alien invasion? This is Hell, isn't it? I'm in Hell?

Before he can dive much deeper into that thought, Tim's head gave another powerful pulse. Tim, cursing his bad luck (like migraine, man? On top of everything else? Who fucking needs them?), drops the letter into his briefcase before departing.

Link to AO3:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18106355/chapters/48214189

#calling it #fanfiction #chapter 9 #Tim Drake-centric #dick grayson #Jason Todd #bruce wayne #tam fox #angst #minor violence

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hunnywrites · 5 years

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Arcade Dreams: Chapter Fourteen

Summary: There’s a new girl working at the Palace Arcade and Hawkins’ Family Video. Billy can’t stand her, and the feeling is mutual. No matter what everyone else seems to think.

Pairing: Billy Hargrove/OFC

A/N: Alright so it turns out writing about Billy having feelings other than angst is pretty tough. But you know, we’re finally making progress on the romance front. Enjoy!

Teddi ended up chickening out over calling about the apartment. It had been about a week or so since Hopper had come into the video store, and the idea of living off on her own was still constantly on her mind. If only she could just make herself call. Instead she could only trace the phone number that she had written on the back of one of her notebooks. She hadn’t brought it up with Billy either. He would’ve been supportive of the idea, Teddi knew he would. She didn’t have any siblings to worry about like he did. No strings tying her to her family. And she could already practically hear him joking about her apartment being the new party spot. Like she’d let that happen. But there was this part of her that worried that he might think the whole thing was stupid. That he might tell her she was running from her problems or being a baby. So for now she would keep it to herself.

Now Teddi was in the library during her free period, mindlessly tracing that same phone number as she chewed on her lip. Initially she’d decided to use her free period to finish up on some homework before she had to go to work, but her mind was much, much too busy to focus on any math homework she had. In fact, she was so spaced out that she didn’t even notice that someone was walking up behind her.

“What’s that?” Teddi jumped at the sound of Steve’s voice.

She held a hand to her chest, glaring up at him as he pulled the seat across from her out and plopped down. “It’s nothing.” she said a little too quickly.

Steve raised an eyebrow. “...That definitely doesn’t sound suspicious,” he grinned. “Come on, Ted. It’s me, Steve, you can tell me. You got a boyfriend you’re keeping a secret or something?”

Teddi rolled her eyes. “Nothing so scandalous,” she joked. She supposed there was no real harm in telling Steve. He was a much more impartial party compared to Billy. “...You know that apartment building you told me about at the New Year’s party? The one out by the steel mill? I’ve kinda been thinking of moving there. Like getting out on my own and all.” she eyed Steve nervously while she waited for his reaction.

“Pfft, I sure wish I could move out,” was all he said. “My old man’s constantly down my neck about what I’m gonna do after school. Like I’m supposed to have any idea.” he scoffed.

Teddi let out a small breath of relief and smiled. “You don’t have any colleges lined up?”

“Uh, well I was trying to pick out a few to apply to...but then I couldn’t really decide on any...and then I kinda missed all the deadlines to apply,” he nodded, flashing a sheepish grin. “What about you? I mean, you’ve gotta have schools trying to kick down your door, right?”

College. That was another subject that Teddi wanted to avoid. She’d been busting her ass working two jobs and making sure her grades were nothing short of amazing so that she could make sure to get into a good school...but there wasn’t really anything she dreaded more. And she was completely aware that it didn’t make a lick of sense. “Well, actually I got into NYU which was like...my dream school...but I don’t really know if I’m gonna go if I’m completely honest.”

Steve’s eyebrows shot upwards and he grinned. “Wait, what? Teddi, that’s amazing! Why wouldn’t you want to go there? I’m pretty sure Johnathan Byers would kill you just to take your place.”

Teddi let out a snort before shrugging. “I don’t know...I know it sounds dumb. Trust me. I’ve just been wondering lately if I actually want to go to college or if I’m just doing it because it’s what people our age are supposed to do, you know? Or if it’s just like an excuse for me to get out on my own. And I feel like I finally have actual friends here now and I’m up and leaving. It kinda bums me out.” there was also the added fact that she had absolutely no idea what she would major in. She didn’t like admitting to people that her life wasn’t as put together as they might think.

Steve shot Teddi a knowing look before leaning forwards. “Please tell me this isn’t about Billy Hargrove.”

Teddi scoffed, sinking down in her seat. “Oh please, Steve.” sure Billy was part of it. Of course he was part of it. Teddi was as close with Billy as she was with Steve, maybe even more so now. Which was ironic since they had been sort of mortal enemies, but it wasn’t solely about him.

“What’s the deal with him anyways? You can’t honestly be falling for this whole ‘nice guy’ act he’s been pulling lately, can you?” Teddi could definitely understand Steve’s skepticism. After all, he was the guy that Billy had beaten unconscious just four months ago. At the same time though Teddi had a hard time imagining that the Billy she knew now could ever do something like that.

“Look, I know that he’s not exactly Mr. Rogers,” Teddi said. Steve let out a snort. “But he’s really a lot different now. It’s like a 180...well, maybe more like a 150. We’re not completely there yet. I think if you two can get over your weird alpha male thing you have going you could probably even be friends,” Steve only shot her a disbelieving look. “If I can be friends with him then so can you. You’re friends with Johnathan Byers now, aren’t you?”

Steve held up his hands. “Yeah, yeah. Look, I’ll take your word for it. I mean I don’t think me and him are gonna be hanging out any time soon...I just want you to be careful. If Billy really is trying to not be such a shit head then great. But just...keep an eye out.”

Teddi would be lying if she said she didn’t have her own reservations about Billy’s behavior. There was this tiny part of her that wondered if maybe it was all some sort of an act. Like Billy might be pretending to be a genuinely nice guy to get in her pants. But she always brushed it off. She wanted to have more faith in him than that. And she definitely wasn’t going to voice her paranoia out loud. “Yes, mother hen.” was all she said instead, grinning at Steve.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Cute. Really cute. Hey, do you have the notes from history?”

“You mean you didn’t take any?” Teddi asked with a smile as she started to search through her backpack for her notes.

“...Oh, totally. I just wanted to compare them with mine.”

Teddi let out a snort. “Uh-huh...shit. I don’t have my binder. I think I left it in my gym locker. I’ll be right back, okay?” Steve threw her a thumbs up before Teddi rushed out of the library.

---

Billy usually liked to spend his free period in the gym. It always got quiet after gym class ended, and maybe aside from a few girls that liked to sit on the bleachers while he practiced his free throws no one really bothered him. Teddi had asked if he wanted to join her in the library while she finished up some homework. He’d said that he’d rather chew off his own foot than voluntarily step foot in the school library.

There was also the fact that there was something that was bothering her and she actually seemed to think she could hide it from him. Teddi was somewhat of a shitty liar. Or at least he was really good at seeing through it when she lied. He wasn’t really sure which it was. Probably the latter. The bigger issue was that he had asked if there was something going on and she kept lying. So he had dropped the issue. But he also definitely didn’t want to sit around for a whole hour while she dodged his questions and acted like everything was perfect and told him to stop being so pouty.

“Billy!” someone called just as he gracefully tossed the basketball into the basket. Billy turned, trying his very hardest not to roll his eyes when he spotted Cheryl leaning up against the bleachers. The small group of girls sitting a few feet away didn’t bother to hide the dirty looks they were shooting in her direction.

He had been trying to avoid her for the last week or so. Teddi had been right; Cheryl Burns made him downright miserable. But ignoring a girl like Cheryl was proving to be pretty difficult. She didn’t really like to take no for an answer. Which he found pretty annoying. Just two days ago he had turned her down for a night out at the drive in, and yet there she was wagging those long, red nails at him beckoning him over like it had never happened.

Billy let out a soft huff and jogged over to her, nodding once at her. He wasn’t going to try and charm her like he did with every other girl he spoke to. It would just give her the wrong idea. Cheryl bit her bottom lip, smiling up at him as she batted her eyelashes at him. “You busy?” she asked, tilting her head to the side. Her hands rested just barely at his sides.

Billy looked at her and back out to the basketball court. “...What does it look like to you, Cheryl?”

She playfully rolled her eyes. “I need to talk to you for a sec.” she reached out and took one of Billy’s hands in hers and pulled him towards her.

He pulled away. “Can we do this some other time? Like I said, I’m busy.”

Cheryl definitely wasn’t the sort of girl that got turned down often. Billy wouldn’t really be surprised to find out he was the first to do so. There was a moment where the sweet, seductive look Cheryl was giving him turned into one of annoyance and he hoped that it meant she would throw a fit and stomp out of the gym and leave him alone.

He wasn’t so lucky. “And I said that I need to talk to you.” she nearly spat through her teeth.

Billy rolled his eyes. “Fine. Talk.”

The seductive smile was back just as fast as it had disappeared. Cheryl happily took his hand in hers once again and pulled him out of the gym and into the hall. Whatever it was that she had to say, she clearly didn’t want to do it in front of an audience. She lead him two doors down to the girl’s locker room. Cheryl did a quick scan of the room to make sure they were alone before she spun around, giving Billy a soft shove against a row of one of the lockers and kissing him roughly.

Billy’s hands instinctively went to Cheryl’s waist before his conscience (which he was annoyed to realize seemed to sound a lot like Teddi’s voice) told him to stop. His hands moved to Cheryl’s shoulders and he pushed her away gently. He smirked down at her, raising an eyebrow. “I thought you said you wanted to talk?”

Cheryl blinked up at him innocently, or as innocently as a girl like Cheryl could manage, and ran her hands down his bare chest before resting on his stomach. “Did I say that?” she all but giggled. Billy supposed he should have seen this coming. It was definitely a trick he would try to pull. He knew that he needed to get out before he did something he’d regret later. He was pissed at Cheryl. He didn’t even like Cheryl. So why was he sticking around? Christ, he thought, don’t pull on that thread.

“Cheryl, if you want someone to fool around with how ‘bout you go find that moron Brian Jean?” he asked with an expectant look. After Christmas break ended Billy had offered to kick the shit out Brian for ditching Teddi to hook up with Cheryl at David’s party. Teddi had practically forbidden him, but that didn’t mean Billy wasn’t allowed to fuck with him. And he definitely hadn’t missed the pleased look on Teddi’s face a few days earlier when Billy “accidentally” happened to brush his keys down the entire side of Brian’s shitty little Chevette.

Cheryl rolled her eyes. “Are you honestly still mad about that? That was forever ago, Billy. I didn’t even think you’d care,” Yeah, that’s the problem, he thought with a scoff. Cheryl hands snaked around his neck, pulling him down closer to her. “Come on, Billy, let me make it up to you.” she purred. Billy liked to think of himself as a strong guy. That he wasn’t swayed easily no matter what the situation was. But as annoying as he found Cheryl Burns, there was something about her that seemed to short circuit his brain. The shorter, more simple answer was that it was probably because she looked like the girls in his Playboys.

Everything after that was sort of a blur. He wasn’t sure how long he had been there with Cheryl. The bell hadn’t rung yet. That was really all he was able to discern. Billy had turned the pair of them around, pushing Cheryl’s back up against the lockers. His hands had a firm grip on her ass while her hands were tangled in his hair, her long tails scratching gently at his scalp. He hadn’t really thought much of the situation until he heard the locker room door open and a very familiar voice say “Oh, jeez. Sorry. Jeez. Uh I just…my locker…”

Billy spun around. Teddi was standing by the door with a hand over her eyes. He felt his stomach drop. Cheryl scoffed. “Can we help you?” she asked, glaring daggers at Teddi.

“I, uh, gotta get something out of my locker is all...and then go and die from embarrassment.” she muttered. Teddi rushed passed Billy and Cheryl and disappeared for a moment. Billy heard her locker open and close before Teddi nearly bolted out of the room. He quickly followed after her, ignoring Cheryl’s protests.

“Teddi! Teddi, can you fucking slow down?” he called, jogging to catch up with her quick strides. He grabbed her arm to stop her and spun her around to face him. She refused to make eye contact with him. He wanted to say something. His brain was screaming at him to say something to her. But he couldn’t seem to get anything out. “...I’m sorry.” was all he could manage.

Teddi still wouldn’t look him in the eyes. “Sorry?” she still sounded surprised to hear him use that word. “What’s there for you sorry about?”

“I mean…” he turned and gestured back towards the locker room awkwardly. “What just happened. Cheryl said she wanted to talk and then all the sudden-” all the sudden what? He asked himself. Teddi caught you fooling around with the same girl you said you were gonna stop fooling around with? Idiot.

“You really don’t have to apologize. Really. I just needed some history notes. I’ll see you around, okay?” Billy didn’t think he’d ever seen Teddi so frazzled before. Everything about her at that moment was so unlike the Teddi he knew. He was a little surprised she didn’t give him an earful about how he needs to stop seeing Cheryl and leading her on. Now it just seemed like she would rather be anywhere that wasn’t near him. His jaw set firmly. “Don’t do that.” he didn’t let go of her arm.

“Don’t do what?” she asked with a loud sigh.

“Don’t act like nothing happened. Where’s the lecture?” he asked, leaning down so his eyes would meet hers. “You don’t have anything to say to me? No matters of the flesh comments?” he hated how angry he sounded. He was angry with himself, not Teddi.

“Billy…” Teddi’s eyes were pleading. He felt bad all over again. He dropped her arm quickly as if it had burned him. “...I’ll see you later.” she muttered. All he could really do now was helplessly watch as Teddi nearly ran down the hall and away from him and the locker room.

“God, what is taking you so long?” Billy’s hands clenched into fists at the sound of Cheryl’s voice. He whirled around to see her poking her head out of the locker room. “Are you coming back in here or what?”

“Fuck off, Cheryl.” he spat, stomping past her and back to the gym. This whole being nice thing was definitely stressing him out more than he expected it to. He actually felt embarrassed. Embarrassed that he had been caught doing something so completely stupid. Embarrassed that he cared so much about how upset Teddi seemed by the whole thing. And it was definitely embarrassing to admit to himself that he knew why he cared so much. It wasn’t a secret that he was into Teddi. He definitely hit on her enough. But it was a little more than that.

He couldn’t even say the words in his mind. That he liked Teddi. Something like that seemed so pathetic to say out loud. Not to mention it would get him nowhere. Teddi had turned him down enough times to know he didn’t stand a chance with her. Still, the feeling he’d gotten when he saw that she’d walked in on him and Cheryl was that same feeling he’d had when he’d walked into the Palace Arcade before New Year’s and saw Teddi talking to Steve.

It made that familiar anger bubble inside of him, but in a different way. He was angry at himself. He felt pathetic. Practically pining over some girl. Maybe that was part of why he kept Cheryl hanging on. She was a way to momentarily forget about any sort of feelings he might have. Which was also pretty pathetic.

There was also the option of just saying something. To stop acting like such a little bitch about it. Yeah, he thought with a scoff, I think I’d rather let Max hit me in the dick with that bat than do that. He shoved the gym door open and grabbed his bag before heading back to the locker room for a shower. At the very least they’d have to talk about this. He completely dreaded the idea. He was sure Teddi was dreading it too. But this whole ignoring each other any time shit got tough thing was getting old.

But he underestimated Teddi. When she didn’t want to talk to someone, she meant it. He hadn’t seen even a glimpse of her for the rest of the day. He’d even skipped out on his last period early to catch her in the parking lot. When he got there her van was already gone. When he dropped Max off at the arcade he asked Keith if she was around, and he’d said she was off on her break. Billy still wasn’t sure if he was telling the truth or covering for her.

He felt a little panicked then. Like finally he had gone and really fucked up. Maybe now Teddi wouldn’t want anything to do with him anymore. Maybe he had gone and chased off the one friend he had in Hawkins. To say he was angry with himself was an understatement. He thought about calling, but quickly brushed the idea aside. He’d give her her space. She’d come to him when she was ready to talk. The only problem now was trying not to go absolutely insane while he waited for that to happen.

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove fic #billy hargrove x oc

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