I wrap my fingers around the warm cup of tea. I have discovered that I like lemon tea now. I’ve been discovering a lot of things lately; my smile, to breathe without hurting, what it means to exhale, unwinded shoulders, and the love i have for my perima.
I take a sip. It’s new. It’s wonderful.
I learn to play rummy during my vacation.
I’m good at it, but my cousins are way better than me. But that’s okay. I’m still learning, and that’s okay.
I learn how to reduce points from my stack (one by one, I pick my troubles out of my chest. I don’t need them anymore), I learn that I know way more songs than I thought I knew (I look back at the path I’ve walked. How come I never noticed the flowers that lined them?).
My sister wins the game. I grin because I’m no longer in the last place.
I flip through the polaroids taken in the last two months.
click! I hold my birthday gifts in my trembling hands. They’re lovely. I burst into tears as my best friend holds me close. In her arms, I am safe. I know when I fall, she will be there to catch me, always.
click! I talk to her till midnight about all my woes. She’s saved as ‘mushroom head’ in my phone and I miss her terribly. A month later, we sit on the floor of a bookstore and she listens to me ramble about classics. The distance between us isn’t so huge anymore.
click! I’m out of breath from cycling. The girl painted in red sits behind me and yells, “Hurry! Before anyone sees us!” We sit down to catch our breath in a lonely, lively part of the forest. I look at her like she’s my sun.
click! we talk for hours and hours on the phone and dream of our future together, of grocery runs, dorm rooms and fitful sleep. Every time we meet, we end up in a pile of laughter and tangled limbs. He is home.
click! they yell my name whenever they catch sight of me, like my presence matters, like it’s precious. Our feet carry us towards each other, running, running, running, till we meet halfway in an embrace that steals my breath away. I knock my head against theirs and we exhale a laugh.
I close the album with a smile. There are many more polaroids to take.
days blur into weeks. I get my heart broken by the people I love, and I pick myself up again. I gag and push away my sister, laughing, when she bites my cheek. I goof around with my mother, learn to drive from my father and fall on my face once. The wounds don’t bother me because I know they’ll cease to burn one day. My doctor gives me a fist bump and wishes me luck for my exam.
I sleep. I wake up. I wonder what’s for breakfast as I brush my teeth. I’m glad I exist.
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