#hoo wow so many words;;;

[keerysfreckles]

Okay hi I don’t know if I’m doing this right and this is how you rqs something, I saw your cry for help for a luke Castellan fic,

could I pls request something like a daughter of Poseidon reader and her and Luke have been friends for years but haven’t never really seen each other as more than that until some guy starts to hit on her and Luke gets jealous asf and then the Luke starts a fight with him because he said something nasty about reader, and rewarded gets pissed off that Luke’s fighting and it’s super angsty and jealous and they fight and make up and realise their feelings and maybe a kiss?????

Hope that wasn’t too long xx

someone gets hurt — luke castellan

pairing: luke castellan x poseideon fem!reader

warnings: use of y/n and she/her pronouns, a couple swear words, character sexualizing reader

a/n: GETTING THE HOO BOOKS TOMORROW!!!!!!!!

masterlist !

꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱

"again!"

the sound of swords clanging against each other echoed in the empty field and through the forest.

"luke, how many more times do we have to do this?" y/n was out of breath. her right hand was red from gripping her sword too hard for the past hour, her hair has been tied back by now, and sweat coated her cheeks and arms.

"no offence, but your dad is into water, not swords," luke responds.

"what? you're saying i'm not the best swordsman in camp?"

luke chuckles, "obviously, because i'm here."

y/n only laughs at his response.

"swordswoman."

"what?" y/n's more than confused.

"you wouldn't be the best sowrdsman at camp. swordswoman would be the correct term."

instead of responding y/n shoves her sword inbetween luke's wrist and hip, skillfully pushing her own sword to make his fall to the ground.

"yeah, yeah, miss one time champ. go get some water," luke laughs.

"you know, after being your friend for so many years," y/n starts, but takes another sip of water as luke walks over to the bench she's sitting on. she continues, "you would think i'd learn your fighting patterns, and actually beat you for once."

"that's the thing y/n. my fighting strategies always change. once you find them out, they'll just change again," luke replies.

"you ready to go again?" luke asks for a few minutes, letting the girl have time to rest.

y/n nods, and gratefully takes luke's hand to help her up off the bench. she walks over to the dirt area with a slight limp. luke had cut her leg earlier, on accident of course, and y/n insisted she was fine. after pouring half her water bottle on it, there was nothing more than a light scar. however it still hurt.

"wow! with a limp like that, you'd think i was with her all night!"

corey andrews stepped into the clearing of the woods, with his ares brothers right beside him. ever since he got to camp a year ago he'd been harassing y/n. he always found a way to call her out in front of others. and it made y/n's blood boil.

she was about to walk over to the idiotic camper and punch him, but luke grabbed her wrist.

"leave it," his voice was soft, yet firm.

y/n gives in, and goes back to sword fighting with luke. the pair ignore corey and his friends.

corey on the other hand dislikes the silence. he walks over to y/n's side, and pokes her in the sides. it causes her to let out a small shriek and drop her sword.

"what the hell is wrong with you?" she turns and scolds corey, punching him in the shoulder.

"dude, you never mess with someone while they have a sword in their hands," luke picks up y/n's sword for her.

"oh that was nothing. we're just playing, right babe?"

y/n's stomach drops at the name coming out of corey's mouth.

"what's your problem andrews?" luke gently pushes y/n behind him. a motion the girl would soon be thankful for.

"my problem is that absolute babe, with that kinda body isn't in my bed right now," corey gestures to y/n. she's fully behind luke, holding onto his arm. was it out of comfort? or in order to keep luke from lashing out? y/n didn't know, but luke didn't mind her touch.

"she's busy," luke answers for her, feeling her grip tighten, "we're busy. so if you could leave, that'd be great."

luke needed corey to get out of his sight before he punched him. he couldn't stand what the ares boy was saying about his best friend.

"not before i get a piece of her," corey snickers and lunges to try and get to y/n from behind luke.

"corey!" luke scolds, throwing his arms out to block corey.

"don't touch me!" y/n yells in fear, now holding luke's shirt tighter than ever.

finally one of corey's friends speaks up, "corey, come on, they both asked you to leave her alone."

the other friend can't help but agree.

"y/n, go find chiron and tell him about corey," luke whispers. with a nod, y/n's running in the direction of the big house. anything to get away from corey.

before the harasser can get a gain on y/n, luke's grabbing him by the shirt. he lets go, but only to punch him square in the face.

blood instantly seeps out of his nose, and luke swore he saw fire gleaming in corey's eyes.

"why are you so protective of her? what? you sleeping with her or something?"

luke's expression doesn't change.

"if you say one more thing about her, i swear i'll punch you into the ground."

no words were spoken, making luke release his grip on corey's shirt. corey however takes the opportunity to shove his head into luke's knocking him back a few steps.

corey gets a few punches in before luke regains his balance. a few more punches land on luke's arms, before he shoves corey back, and punches him one last time before the asshole is laying on the ground.

luke's breathing heavily and corey's catching his breath on the groun as chiron speaks up.

he walks fully out of the woods now, with y/n climbing off his back. as soon as she told him what happened, he directed her to get in his back as he ran towards the arena.

y/n ran to luke as chiron started scolding corey and his two brothers, mostly corey though.

y/n holds luke's face in her hands, running her thumbs over the fresh red patches on his cheeks.

"are you okay?" there's nothing but concern filling her voice.

luke dryly chuckles, "you should see the other guy."

y/n leans up and wraps her arms around luke's neck to fully pull him into a hug. in seconds his own arms wrap around her waist.

as they pull away, luke watches chiron walk off with the three ares brothers.

"are you okay?" luke finally asks y/n.

she nods, "yeah, it's uh, nothing he hasn't said before. he's just never lunged at me before."

luke leans over to kiss y/n's forehead, before talking back to their swords. he was going to put them away, with the other dull fighting swords, but y/n's voice stops his movements.

"thank you," luke turns to the girl, "you've saved me a lot from corey, and i've never really told you thank you."

"what are friends for?"

luke's words hurt y/n, not on purpose. y/n can't help but see luke differently recently. she wasn't sure if he grew into his looks, or maybe it was just her hormones messing with her, but she started falling for luke castellan.

"you okay?" luke walks back over to the girl.

she only nods, "yeah, yes i'm okay."

luke notices the shake in her voice and her emotions changing from one to another.

"are you sure?" luke's hands rubs up and down her shoulders.

y/n only nods again, but after a moment her eyes drift down to his lips subconsciously.

luke noticed.

the boy smirks slightly, making y/n confused.

"you look like you want to kiss me."

y/n's cheeks change to the brightest shade of red, and she immediately starts shaking her head.

"no! no, no that's ridiculous," she denies

"what if i said i want to kiss you too?"

y/n's breath catches in her throat. she must've heard luke wrong.

her thought was disproved when luke leaned in slightly. he stopped, wanting to make sure y/n wanted this just as much as he did. the girl simply pulls luke to her by his neck. a small groan emits his lips once they connect with hers.

the kiss was full of force, and pent up emotions. they could both tell, and they knew how long they needed this kiss to happen.

"you guys done sucking face?"

luke and y/n break apart at clarisse's voice.

"we need the arena to practice," she states, motioning to a few of the ares sisters behind her.

"yeah uh," luke coughs, "we'll go."

and with that, he pulls a very giddy y/n out of the arena and toward the direction of his cabin.

[kwillow]

Ambroys basking in his cache of gifts and sweet words from secret admirers. Gotta be careful, though. If his ego is inflated any more, he'll pop.

(I wanted to doodle something to accompany a post answering some messages regarding this candy-colored cad but got a bit carried away. :P Well regardless, asks under the cut!)

Why thank you! He would drunkenly insult people, though he tends to be more passive-aggressive and backhanded rather than outright insulting - well, most of the time, anyway. He thinks he's a lot more subtle in his derogatory comments than he actually is.

Aaaw, this is too sweet!

Older Ambroys is much more reserved about seeking and accepting physical affection than his younger self, for myriad reasons (that one day I will expound upon in more detail, fate willing). He still enjoys it, though.

He's still proud of the stars on his cheeks and the gold in his hair and all that, but the signs of age are something he is not at peace with. For some, like the wrinkles, they're a sign that his time on this earth is finite - and death terrifies him. For others, like his paunch, it's more just embarrassing to him in a more mundane and vain "I was voted Prom King in high school and I was on the Varsity track team now look at me I'm an old man boo hoo hoo" type of way (though he's actually more physically adept in his older age than he was when he was younger for Magical Heritage Bullshit reasons, the sentiment remains).

As for your question, it's totally fine with me for Ambroys to be portrayed as non-heterosexual in fanfic or fanart or one's secret imaginings. Even though all of his "canon" love interests are women, I wouldn't rule out of the possibility of him developing affections for someone who isn't a woman. Chase your bliss!

Haha well both furry and aasimar Ambroys would bask in the attention, though poor aasimar Ambroys' jealousy is not going to be helped!

No shame on being a furry though. I didn't consider myself one either but I feel like it's harder to make the argument that I'm not given the sheer number of ponies I've drawn by now...

He would accept this, so long as you don't mess up his hair.

He would say: "good!" I would say "don't waste your life on him!"

Oh he would be pleased to be so distracting, I'm sure.

And sometimes we can't help but to have a type... I know I seem to have a thing for rich effete douchebags with buck teeth and big pointy noses... not quite sure what's up with that.

Yessss... yesssssssss... or perhaps I should say "I'm sorry."

I didn't mean to make him this way... I guess I underestimated the power of a brushable mane.

Ambroys DOES like being worshipped (way too much and way too literally, as you might be able to tell) but he wants to have his imperfections hidden if he can!

He's just horribly, horribly vain and unwilling to let go of his youth... even though he got to enjoy being youthful for three times as long as a mortal would.

YES that song is on his playlist (which I have for all my main characters because I'm a dork). It's just too perfect. One of the many ideas on my miles-long to do list has to do with depicting a scene from that song. The trouble is that it has to do with dancing, and boy am I not very good at drawing dancing poses. xD Oh well, gotta try for the boy!

Heh well I think we could agree that a normal horse probably couldn't pull off the breeches he wears quite so well... I'm flattered that you think of him when you see horsies in the flesh! Huzzah, I've ruined one of the Earth's beautiful creatures for you! >:)

Oh wow, my guy is stepping out of my brain and into other people's subconsciouses... I need to put a leash on him. :P But this was a fun read!

It's very in character Ambroys to try to undercut a rival's self-esteem by framing it as something OTHER people say, but oh no, he'd NEVER say something like that, of course. Mean girl behavior. He does have friends that don't actually like him - and he doesn't like them either. But one needs to have friends for appearance's sake - just one more accessory, really!

OKAY, I think that's everything! Or at least enough for this post, ahah.

Thanks to everyone for your kind words on my not-so-kind character.

Unlike him, I'm really humbled and grateful by the positive reception he's received. I deeply appreciate your kind messages... even when it takes me eons to reply to them, gah.

[xotrashratxo]

Nerdy Prudes Must Die Quotebook

Comment any I missed LMAO

⚠️NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT⚠️

“I am only ONE MAN’s girl, and that man is JESUS CHRIST.” Grace Chastity

“SHUT UUUUUUPPPP.” Max Jagerman *Audience cackles* 

“THE ANSWER IS STILL NO….. by the way.” Max Jagerman

“RAAH” Max Jagerman and Grace Chastity

“the fucking BOW TIE KID???” Brenda the Cheerleader

“I know he’s RICH. But money isn’t everything! Looks are. “ Stacy the Cheerleader

“WAIFU MATERIAL” Richie Lipchitz

“SHE’S TOUCHING MEEE!! LUCKYYYY!” Ruth Fleming and Richie Lipchitz

“Woooow…. These toilets aren’t even in stalls! It’s better than I ever imagined!” Ruth Fleming

“Thats some cooool kid privilege right there.” Ruth Fleming OR Richie Lipchitz

“DESTROY HIM.” Grace Chastity

“God you suck, Grace.” Stephanie Lauter

“He’s made ALL OUR LIVES a living HECK.” Grace Chastity

“The most terrifying, HOTTEST bully in Hatchetfield” Grace Chastity

“BE COOL BEANS, KEEP THE BEANS COOL.” Grace Chastity

“We’ll fight sin with sin! Let the games begin!” ‘Nerdy Prudes’

“AM I READING AS GHOST OR LIN MANUEL MIRANDA” Peter Spankofvski

“YOU’RE FUCKING USLESS PETE.” (SO MANY PAUL REFERENCES.) Richie Lipchitz

“Ugh I gotta piss….” Max Jagerman

“Oh SHIT, where’s that creepy music coming from?” Max Jagerman

“Oh shit oh fuck it’s a fucking ghost!!!” Max Jagerman

“He thinks it’s real he’s just really fucking BRAVE.” Richie Lipchitz

“BOO HOO BITCH.” Max Jagerman

“I MAKE THE DEAD RUN IN FEAR! I AM GOD GOOOOO NIGHTHAWKS!” Max Jagerman

“Oh shit oh fuck I didn’t think there’d be a skele’in HERE!” Max Jagerman

“WOW… I uh… I thought you guys hated me. But uh, thanks! This was really great! No no no, this is the nicest thing anyone’s done for me!” Max Jagerman

“That was really special.” *bows* Max Jagerman

“And with MY luck, no one will even BOTHER making me their BITCH.” Ruth Fleming

“It was an act of god!” Grace Chastity

“Oh no she’s snapping again!” Richie Lipchitz

“Oh my asthmas back…” Richie Lipchitz

“I just cut off his nips.” Ruth Fleming FORESHADOWING??? 

“Steph, you can keep it. It would bring down my GPA.” Peter Spankofvski

“I’m tryna feel bad but it’s hard when everything is objectively better.” Peter Spankofvski

“Never thought I could open my locker without the fear running through me.” Richie Lipchitz

“N-IG-HT-AWE AWE- ks!” Everyone

“FUCK clivesdale.” Everyone, repeatedly. 

“FUCK YOU CLIVESDALE WE’LL KILL YOU!” Cheerleaders and Jocks

“Zeke! The fighting nighthawk!” Jason the Football player

“We support and love you, but you fuckin’ stink man!” Jason the Football player

“FUCK CLIVESDALE! FUCK EM STRAIGHT TO HELL!” Richie Lipchitz

“I love being alive!” Richie Lipchitz

“YA BITCH.” Max Jagerman

“Of course not! But you’ve lost everything.” Max Jagerman HIT SO HARD 

“Mama I’m cured!” Grace Chastity

“HWAELL they didn’t say!” Mark Chastity

“Alright ima need the 3 of you to shut the FUDGE up about Max Jagerman.” Grace Chastity

“SHUT. THE FUCK UP. RUTHY.” Stephanie Lauter

“People tell me to die everyday!” Ruth Fleming

“Don’t be ridiculous! Wait-“ Grace Chastity

“DAN!” Angry Adult Mob

“Suddenly the show is real upsetting!” Angry Adult Mob

“Fuckin’ transcendent…..!” Cop Corey

“I wanna remember who I YAAAMmmm…” Trevor, who’s only other credit is Barbecue Monologues Man 2 

“I turned 40 today.” *pours alcohol* Ruth Fleming in Barbecue Monologues

“Oh shit not Clivesdale!” Officer Shapiro

*heavy breathing* “…… thank you.” Peter Spankofvski

“MY DAD sells WOMEN’S SHOES.” Peter Spankofvski

“Dork at the beany’s counter has more balls than you.” Stephanie Lauter

“LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS” Grace Chastity

“She’s bisexual and dead, where else could she be?” Grace Chastity, also GRACE DONT CALL ME OUT

“I’ve done horrible things! Like touching myself and lying to the police! I called god a son of a b word! Who am iiiiii…..” Grace Chastity

“Don’t comfort her, she’s fucking weird.” Stephanie Lauter

“KYUK KYUK KAH FUCK.” Max Jagerman

“I beg to differ, BITCH.” Max Jagerman

“I’ve got a gun.” Stephanie Lauter

“Are you a woman of god?” “Catholic.” “I’ll take that as a no.” Grace Chastity and Officer Shapiro (as a Catholic this is hilarious.) 

“I have no idea what I’m doing.” Peter Spankofvski (Me too Peter, me too.)

“My phone!” Stephanie Lauter

“WE DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR PHONE.” The Lords in Black

“Or fuck off!” The Lords in Black

“It’s you Steph. I’m into you.” Peter Spankofvski (IM CRYINGGGG)

“I just took a bullet for you bro!” Max Jagerman

“SO YOU DO KNOW THE BIBLE?” Grace Chastity

“But Jesus never threw a football like you Max.” Grace Chastity

“SHUT YOUR MOUTH HOLE SPANKOVSKI. I wanna hear this.” Max Jagerman

“FUCK. YEAH.” Max Jagerman

“GASP. That’s NASTY. I like it.” Max Jagerman

“WHAT. THE FUCK. IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.” Stephanie Lauter (That’s so me, Steph.)

“GRACE IS HAVING SEX WITH A FUCKING GHOST!” Peter Spankofvski

“I paid the price. Now fuck off!” *Spins* Grace Chastity

“WHAT ARE YOUUU-“ Max Jagerman

“You’re in my world now. Bitch.” One of the Lords in Black (Pokey I think???) 

“I…. Am gonna get some fucking coffee.” Officer Shapiro

“Did you guys know JASON goes to my CHURCH?” Grace Chastity

Total quotes: 85

[thefrogdalorian]

The Best of Both Worlds - Chapter Five

Din Djarin x Female Reader Modern!AU

❁ Series Masterlist ❁ My Masterlist ❁ Read on AO3 ❁

Word Count:  13,028 (!!) Rating: General Summary:  Being back in the real world and returning to work after an incredible weekend at the convention where you had so many fun experiences is taking its toll on you. The thought of collapsing on your couch in front of The Mandalorian is the only thing keeping you going. However, the universe has other plans for you. News of an out-of-hours tour for a private client that you are asked to lead almost sends you over the edge, but when you finally meet the man, he is the opposite of what you were expecting. Weirdly, he seems familiar... Content Warnings: Reader deals with some depressing thoughts and has a panic attack. Past sexual harassment of reader is mentioned but not specified or described in detail. Also I got a bit political with this one in terms of being a British Museum hater, but not sure that should be a warning when it's a pretty logical train of thought. Author's Note:  Wow. This was an absolute MONSTER of a chapter and now over a third of the total word count so far! I have to give massive thanks to my beta @suresnips for making it through such a long chapter. My brain had melted after editing it and your feedback helped so much! As you read, you'll understand why it was so long. I knew it was going to be long when I came to edit it yesterday as it was already approx. 6k. Well, I more than doubled that, ha. I don't know if it's obvious but I'm a HUGE history nerd. However, I've only been to the British Museum once (for like an hour), and I was so disappointed with it. It truly is just full of things we looted and it did not me feel an ounce of patriotism, I was pretty disgusted. So I used reader as a mouthpiece for me! Also not sure if anyone remembers the absolute legend(s) who stole things from the museum but perhaps in this universe, it was our dear reader [for legal reasons this is a joke]. All the exhibits mentioned are real things in the collection and I'll link some information about them if anyone is curious: The Sutton Hoo helmet, Dürer's Rhinoceros, Lewis chessmen, Rosetta Stone Well, that's enough nerdiness for one A/N. Really hope you enjoy this chapter. Thank you for reading and for all the kind words so far, it means the world to meeeeeee!! If you're enjoying it, please don't be shy! I'd love to hear your thoughts :)

5. He's So Tall (And Handsome As Hell) [Reader's POV]

The first few days back in your routine after the convention had ended and Ria had gone home had been so desolate and depressing that it was difficult to make it through the day without bursting into tears. Real life could not compare to how incredible ForceCon had been. It was as though, for that long weekend, you had left the real world and inhabited the Star Wars galaxy. You wanted to stay there forever. Until you had been forced back down to earth with a devastating thud once the Dockside Convention Centre’s doors had closed for the final time on Monday afternoon. 

You were grieving so many different aspects of the entire experience. You missed everything. Primarily, of course, you missed your best friend who was now a continent away, separated from you by an entire ocean. But you also missed the electric atmosphere that came with knowing everyone, no matter their age or where they came from, was there for one reason and had been united by their passion for the same thing as you. It was an incredibly special feeling to know that you were ultimately united with everyone you interacted with through your shared love of Star Wars. You felt as though you had taken for granted the amazing talks and stalls, just hearing people discuss their passions had been enthralling. And of course, you missed the cosplays. Not walking past multiple incredible Mandos every day was taking some getting used to. Being back in the real world was disappointing, uninspiring and lonely, and you were thoroughly miserable.

Things were not getting any easier as each day this week had seemed harder than the last. Mercifully, though, it was finally Friday and you only had a few more hours to keep it together at work before you would have an entire weekend to yourself that would consist of just you, your comfiest clothes and endless episodes of The Mandalorian. You had already rewatched it twice through this week, the series you so adored had once again been a crutch in your most desperate hour of need. Watching Mando traverse the galaxy had once again helped you to present to the world as a functioning human being, despite how awful you had felt every day.

Usually, you at least made it back home first before you completely fell apart and the weight of your emotions became too much for you to bear. Today, however, you had been unsuccessful in managing to keep a lid on your emotions and had practically sprinted to your favoured hiding spot – a bathroom in a back corner of the third floor – to finally fall apart. You felt slightly pathetic as you sat on the toilet and stared at the lockscreen of your phone, feeling the hot tears scorch your cheeks. It was the photo you had taken with the incredibly realistic Mandalorian cosplayer that you were sure was the same one from the panel. He had been incredibly kind, offering to take another photo with you, despite how flustered you were. You felt like you had embarrassed yourself in front of him, babbling about a cosplay competition that he was likely fully aware of, given how incredible his costume was. You were stunned when he stopped you from walking away so that he could pose properly and Ria could snap an even better photo of you. It was an incredibly kind gesture from a stranger and was something you could have imagined Mando himself doing in the show. As well as how realistic the cosplay was and the way he had moved that sent your pulse racing, the man had even sounded like Mando. The resemblance was truly uncanny.

As you sat there, clutching your phone, you were contemplating texting Ria. You knew that she would always have a comforting word of advice for you. But you also knew she was thousands of miles away, dealing with returning to work herself and overcoming jet lag. You didn’t want to bother her, so you took deep breaths and squeezed your eyes shut as you attempted to regain your composure so that you were in a position to face the world again. You thought back to the sequence of events that explained how you found yourself locked in a deserted toilet in the back corner of the offices of the museum, attempting to compose yourself before you faced the world once again. 

It had been an awful day and you briefly wondered if you were in fact cursed. The weather had been miserable and rainy that morning, you were greeted with grey skies as you stepped out of your flat. You had learnt from your mishap the previous week though, and actually remembered to wear a coat. But that was where things stopped going right for you. Your tube line had been slightly delayed, resulting in it being even more crowded than usual when one arrived and you eventually boarded. The walk to work had been uneventful, aside from being slightly frustrated by the miserable British weather, but at least you had remembered your headphones so the soothing sounds of the Mando soundtrack could transport you to a distant galaxy.

You arrived at work, grumbling as you removed your headphones and were forced to face the real world. Ever since you walked through the ornate doors into the beautiful old building that you worked in, it felt as though everyone you encountered there had been conspiring against you to make your day as hellish as possible. It was one thing after another and before you knew it, you were at breaking point.

It seemed that today, everything had gone poorly. Your coworker, Tom, whom you had always had pleasant – if a little one-dimensional – chats about The Mandalorian with, was being a little off about your attendance at the con. When you arrived at the office, he approached your desk and asked you questions about the con and the jacket you had made, having seen it on your Instagram. At first, he had seemed genuinely interested but before long they veered into the condescending and that, in addition to the smug smirk on his face, made you feel intensely self-conscious. It reminded you of when the popular kids at High School would pick on the uncool kids, like you, for their enjoyment. As though your increasing uncomfortableness was a game to them. Tom's behaviour transported you back through the years to emotions that you never wanted to visit. Luckily, unlike in High School, this time you had somewhat stood up for yourself and asked him to leave you alone so that you could focus on your work. 

After successfully getting Tom to leave you alone, there were various tasks to be completed. You had taken two days of vacation time for the con and despite how little you had missed, it still meant there was inevitably a backlog to catch up on. It meant communicating with annoying co-workers. After a weekend surrounded by people who just got you in the way people at the con had, it was incredibly frustrating to be back amongst ‘normal,’ people.

Unsurprisingly, you had found that you were able to hold more conversations with people when you were all there for a common reason. It was less daunting somehow, if the conversation fizzled out you had Star Wars to lean back on. Now, though, there was none of that. You had to make small talk with real people. Deal with their needs. Day after day. Working in a museum had been your dream job throughout High School and University. You had lofty dreams of curating your own exhibitions. An ambition that was, as yet, to be realised. Though you would not give up.

Instead of designing exhibitions, you had found yourself giving the occasional tours to school children and manning the information desk for any visitor questions. It was a more people-facing job than you had intended. Which was a shame because you loved the collection, but you hated people. You could stand for hours and talk about the intricacies of an Anglo-Saxon helmet, but making small talk with visitors was beyond you.

Which is why you found the thought of delivering an intimate guided tour to a rich asshole tonight deeply upsetting, despite the brave face you had attempted to put on when your manager had delivered the distressing news.

“We need you to stay late tonight. A client has booked an after-hours visit.” Julie, your manager informed you when you were taking your first break of the day in the staff canteen.

“Who are they? Rich? Famous? Single?” you replied jokingly. It had been a humorous reflex, designed to hide your true feelings about the situation. You were proud of yourself, despite the buzzing that you suddenly felt rising in your head.

Julie just rolled her eyes and smiled. She was well used to your sense of humour by now, she knew you weren’t seriously going to attempt to start anything inappropriate with the visitor. Besides, most of the time you hated them and reverted to insulting them in ways too subtle for them to grasp.

“Very funny,” Julie deadpanned. “You can leave to get some food and have a break after your shift, but be back here and ready to meet him at six.”

“Okay,” You sighed and nodded slightly. There was no point in getting mad at Julie, you knew these kinds of things were not her decision but came from the museum higher-ups who scheduled such tours and requested certain employees. You knew you should see it as a compliment that you were frequently requested, but instead, you saw it as a burden and something to be resented rather than celebrated. 

Then Julie gave you a name – it was Dan or something? You couldn’t even remember – but your head was spinning with too many thoughts and trying to process the news, to be in a position to absorb any of the information your manager was telling you. 

After Julie had finished speaking, you promptly excused yourself from the canteen and ran to your preferred hiding place when the world got too much – an old, enormous single toilet tucked away behind a staircase on the third floor, where no one ever bothered to go. There were far more conveniently situated toilets throughout the building than this particular one, with its heavy wooden black door, complete with brass handle, and plumbing that did not appear to have been updated since the Victorian Era. 

But for you, it was a haven. A perfect place to deal with your emotions towards the whole situation. You were more than a little frustrated at the news, which was how you had probably come across to Julie. In fact, as you sat there in the toilet fighting back tears, you would say that you were devastated. It was so cruel; the one thing that had been keeping you going, the thought of comfortable clothes and Mando, something so simple, had almost been in your grasp. You could almost feel the soft blankets that you would burrow yourself underneath on your sofa, only to hear that for reasons beyond your control, you were going to have to wait even longer. It all felt so unfair.

All you had wanted to do after such a difficult week was return home, change into comfortable pyjamas and sloth out on the couch in front of an episode of The Mandalorian. Instead, you had to babysit some rich asshole who was inconsiderate enough to hire out an entire museum like this, without any care whatsoever for the workers’ wellbeing. I mean, if it was Beyoncé or someone, you would understand their need for privacy. But some random guy you had never heard of, an absolute Z-lister? Well, you hadn’t met him yet, but you already thought that he was pathetic and selfish. 

The whole system was inherently unjust. These private visits forced museum staff, who were barely on a salary above minimum wage, to stay behind after hours just to accommodate their whims. It sickened you to think about the sums of money that would be exchanged. Dan Nobody – or whatever his name was – was throwing tens of thousands of pounds at the museum to accommodate his enormous ego, all the while you would never see a penny of. It boiled your blood with how unfair it all was.

With your desolation now replaced with defiance, you made your way back to your office to continue the work that you desperately needed to catch up on. You sighed as your footsteps echoed through the wide corridors of the stunning old building. It was an absolute honour to work in such a beautiful place where history surrounded you and you knew how fortunate you were in that sense. But it would be a lie to say that you were completely happy with the realities of working for such an institution. As much as excitement had fuelled your first few months working here… now, disillusionment lingered around every corner. Gone was the bright-eyed, enthusiastic girl who had strolled in here straight out of University, feeling as though the world was at her feet because she had just prevailed during a tough application process and would now have the opportunity to work with the largest permanent collection of any museum in the entire world. Instead, she had been replaced with a more cynical woman who felt disenchanted by the surroundings which had once excited her so deeply.

After returning to your office, you spent the rest of your day busy catching up with your work, albeit with a knot of dread in your stomach about the prospect of having to put on a smile and greet yet another out-of-touch, obscenely wealthy man. You really hoped he wasn’t another creep. Unfortunately, you had encountered more than enough of them for one lifetime. Inevitably, every few months, some minor royal or businessman with more money than sense would book out your museum and due to your knowledge and enthusiasm, you were usually selected to be their guide. You had long suspected it was certain other traits which made you a desirable tour guide, though. For instance, you thought it strange that your colleague Tom never got chosen for the tours despite the fact the two of you had started at the museum at a similar time, so had a similar position and level of experience. But Tom was never selected, and neither were pretty much any of your male colleagues. No, it always seemed to be the younger female workers who were chosen to show the wealthy men around the museum. 

You loathed every single last one of them. You had never met a single one who you didn’t want to throttle within approximately five seconds of meeting them. You knew whenever you walked up to them what you were in store for, as they leered at you with their toothy grins and always pulled you in for a hug and kiss on both cheeks. It made you feel like just another exhibit for them to gawk at, not the intensely knowledgeable human being that you were. They always dressed the same way too, in ghastly chinos and loafers. They selected the kinds of outfits that made sure any onlooker could tell just by how they dressed, the extent of their personal fortunes. You hated every single last one of them. 

It felt so wrong to you that these people – who probably had some connection, not too far back in their family tree, to the atrocities that led to the museum possessing such an extensive collection in the first place – could pay obscene amounts of money to close off an entire museum that was usually free to enter. That money would be much better spent in other places. And every single last one of them had always treated the young female staff as though they were a package deal. They seemed to have the impression that the money they had spent entitled them to sexually harass the staff. So, you weren’t exactly looking forward to when six o’clock rolled around and you would have to endure another creep.

For the rest of the day, you were somewhat grateful that you had things to catch up on. Oh sure, it was dull archival work with difficult colleagues, but it was better than having too much time to think about the horrors that awaited you in the form of a golden pinky-ring-wearing asshole at the end of the day. Plus, it gave you a chance to charge your social battery in preparation for the tour that night.

But the end of your shift at five finally rolled around and you had an hour to grab some food after the museum shut and eat before you had to meet the client at six. You thought, bitterly, as you marched down the steps that at the same time you would have to be entertaining a rich creep, you could have been well on your way home to sprawl out on the sofa in front of The Mandalorian. Unfortunately, the universe was really out to get you today. Mando would have to wait.

As you stood inside the noodle shop around the corner from the museum, waiting for your order to be freshly cooked by the friendly owner who knew your order off by heart by now – such was the frequency of your trips here – you took your phone out of your pocket to message Ria. You hadn’t heard from her all day and you just wanted to vent to her, not expecting her to reply immediately as although it was early afternoon for her and you were sure she’d be awake, she would still be adjusting to jet lag after flying over to London for the convention and probably working herself.

[ilovemando] 17:16 ugh ria i have to work late tonight. some rich asshole has booked out the museum for a private tour

Fortunately, the ellipses popped up to indicate that Ria was typing an immediate reply. You breathed a sigh of relief, absolutely thrilled that you had some virtual company in your hour of need.

[thisistheslay] 17:17: Nooooo bestie I’m so sorry! Do you get paid overtime?

[ilovemando] 17:18: yeah but that’s not the point. i just want to go home and watch my comfort episode on the couch. post-con depression is hitting hard :(

[thisistheslay] 17:18: Don’t worry, The Foundlings will still be waiting for you when you get back! I’m sure seeing Mando protecting those kids will cheer you up, even if it’s the thousandth time you’ve seen it!

You began to tap out a reply, but your order number was called before you could send the message. After grabbing your bag of noodles, you tapped out a one-handed reply:

[ilovemando] 17:26: soz was collecting my noodles lmao. but ur right i guess. i just want to watch it NOW. i wanna see my man kicking butt to protect a class of Mandalorian kids, not deal with some old creepy rich guy who thinks renting out the museum also entitles him to sexually harass me. ugh. Mando wouldn’t treat me like that!! sorry for the rant. hope ur jet lag is getting better. miss u :(((

[thisistheslay] 17:29: Awww that sounds awful. I wish I could be there for you and give you a big hug. Let me know how it goes, yeah? You can call me when you’re done on the way home if you want to rant. I’ll be thinking of you. I love you, you got this! <3  

[ilovemando] 17:21: thanks ria. love you too <3

After reading and replying to Ria’s soothing message, you put your phone away as you walked back to the museum. You wanted some peace and quiet and sought out one of the break rooms to eat your food in and mentally prepare for the evening ahead. Fortunately, the museum had almost entirely cleared out of both visitors and staff by the time you made it back and you were able to enjoy your food in peace. 

Ria’s words had definitely comforted you, but your heart ached at how much you missed her. You knew that you were incredibly lucky to have a friendship like the one you shared, even if it meant that you couldn’t always be physically close to her. Remembering how you had sobbed on the platform before you put her on the tube to the airport as you were forced to say goodbye almost made you cry again. Then, Ria hit you with a lovely quote: “How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” It had made you cry harder, but when she revealed it was borrowed from Winnie the Pooh, your tears had turned to full-on laughter. Trust Ria to pull that one out at that moment! 

You smiled at that memory. At her sense of humour and how she always seemed to know the right words to say to you at precisely the right time. She was always there to build you up when you were feeling down, and boost your confidence when you needed it and in happier times, she was there to share in them too. All that, despite the distance. You missed her terribly. In some ways, you felt as though it might have been easier if your online friendship did not translate to the real world and things could have just fizzled out instead. Then again, you couldn’t imagine your life without Ria in it. Despite the distance, at least you could keep in regular contact thanks to the power of the internet. You were so grateful that she had been there to help talk you through the nervousness you felt about the upcoming guided tour.

You mindlessly scrolled through various social media apps on your phone as you watched the minutes tick by towards six p.m., looking at various pictures of Mando in an attempt to steady your nerves. You looked through all the messages that you had missed in the group chat, too. Although the second season of The Mandalorian had only finished airing in January, it appeared from various rumours that the third season was already in production. The details were always scant and anyone with any meaningful involvement in it was surely sworn to secrecy on account of the need to hide Mando’s identity. But a source had seemingly confirmed that production was beginning at The Volume, the studios that lay just a few miles outside of London. 

The timing of the news really could not have come at a better moment for you. It was something to focus on and to look forward to. Although this tour would inevitably be as awful as those that had gone before, it would soon be over and you would be able to join in with all the excitement and theorising with your group of friends over what lay in store for Mando in season three.

So, with a mixture of emotions, you left the break room and made your way through the lofty halls of the museum towards the entrance. You were both bursting with excitement at the knowledge that somewhere – only a few miles from here – the next season of your favourite show was currently being filmed and filled with and trepidation for the ghastly man that you were certain you were about to encounter, You braced yourself for the awful man you were sure you would be tasked with showing around the museum. You were trying your best to stay calm but you were absolutely dreading the tour. You were not in any mood to engage with people, let alone a complete stranger, today. 

As you neared the front entrance, you cast your mind back to the previous Saturday. Particularly, to the way you had stood up so passionately to defend Mando at the awful panel at ForceCon. See, you could do things, even in the face of idiots. You were a capable person. You would survive this.

But when you entered the entrance hall of the museum, you found that the man you were to give a tour to was unlike anything you had been expecting. Firstly, you noticed that he was not in the standard chinos and loafer uniform of the aristocracy. In fact, he was dressed rather casually, although still smart, in a high-necked brown jumper with dark brown trousers that almost matched the turtleneck sweater in shade. You noticed that he had brown boots on, too. The guy must really have a thing for brown. Then you noticed how uncomfortable the man seemed. He had not seen you yet, but he was standing there, glancing around the hall somewhat nervously, his fist clenching and unclenching at his side. But there was something else about him that you found intriguing… because the man you were to give a tour to had a child at his feet.

You were surprised to see such a young child; he couldn’t have been more than two or three years old, clinging to the man’s leg. Even though he had initially seemed different from all the others, now you found that the sight of such a small child brought out feelings of resentment from inside you. You thought about what a waste of money it was, to book out an entire museum for just him and a child that would never remember it. But you were still intrigued at what his story was and in particular, why he seemed so anxious.

You were so transfixed by the sight of the man you were to give the tour to, that you almost didn’t even notice the fact that he was standing next to one of your friends. Mo was one of the few people you actually liked at the museum and the two of you always had conversations whenever your paths crossed. You shared similar interests and humour. Mo was about your age and was always open to your rants about the museum, given his background as the son of immigrants from Pakistan. You found him a breath of fresh air, even if he still hadn’t watched Mando, despite you repeatedly nagging him to.

As you had closed the last few steps between you, though, the man did something you found rather odd. He gave you a strange look, almost a scowl, before rapidly looking away and focusing on anything else in the museum other than your impending presence next to him.

“Hi, Mo,” you smiled at him cheerfully, in an attempt to diffuse whatever tension the sight of you had evoked for the man. Suddenly, you felt immensely grateful that he would be somewhere in the vicinity during your tour. Mo nodded at you as you stepped forward and introduced yourself. “Hello, nice to meet you. I’ll be your tour guide around the museum tonight. Dan, was it?”

But the man did not say a word. He just stood there gawping at you, eyes wide and mouth opened slightly as his brown eyes remained fixed on your face. You were a little unnerved, not least because of the strange look he had given you as you approached. For a brief moment, a look of recognition flashed across his features. But you were certain that you had never seen this man before in your entire life. You would remember if you had, you were sure of that. He was incredibly handsome, probably at least ten years older than you and presumably married, judging by the baby he had with him. Bizarrely, you felt as though the pressure was off, even though it wasn’t like a simple museum tour was going to be the start of a great love story or anything. Besides, regardless of how attractive you found him, this man was strictly off-limits; it would be completely improper to start anything having met at work like this.

The man finally seemed to shake himself out of whatever stupor he appeared to have fallen into and finally introduced himself.

“Oh! Uh, hi. No, not Dan. My name is Din… Din Djarin,” Din explained as he offered his hand to you, which you took and shook slowly.

The warmth of Din’s enormous hand as it engulfed yours, dwarfing your smaller hand as your fingers touched his palm and felt the rough calluses there sent a chill down your spine. There was an unmistakable shock of something there, caused by the feeling of his skin against yours. You tilted your chin up to look at his face as your joined hands hovered in mid-air.

You were first taken in by how brown Din’s eyes were as they gazed at you as your hands slowly stopped moving together. They were deep and warm, the colour of the wood panelling in some of the oldest rooms here in the museum. His prominent nose was perhaps his most striking feature. It was aquiline and achingly beautiful, it reminded you of some of the sculptures the museum had of Roman Emperors. Din unquestionably had movie-star good looks, but without being unapproachable in his attractiveness. Yet, you were still absolutely captivated and intimidated by him. As your eyes continued to traverse his face, you noticed too that he had a neatly trimmed moustache underneath his stunning nose. There was slightly patchy stubble dotted along his defined jawline and high cheekbones, too. But the moustache was captivating, sat as it was atop his plush lips… lips that looked so soft and inviting…

Woah! You were going too far. You dropped Din’s hand abruptly and cleared your throat as you mentally berated yourself for staring at the lips of a guy you didn’t even know – a visitor, no less! A visitor who you were about to give a tour of the museum to, a visitor who had brought his young son. It was beyond inappropriate.

“Pleasure to meet you Mr Djarin. I’m looking forward to showing you around all of the wonderful exhibitions we are so lucky to have here,” you smiled, attempting to ignore both the heat you felt on your cheeks and the confused expression on Mo’s face.

Upon hearing your voice again, Din looked slightly taken aback and that look that you had momentarily witnessed flash across his features, as though he remembered you from somewhere, returned. But just as quickly as it had appeared, the recognition was gone from his face, replaced with a stern scowl. His brows pointed firmly downwards, along with his lips that were oh, so plush. A little wrinkle in the centre of his browline above his nose suddenly became prominent, which showed his age. You thought it was cute and ached to smooth it out with your fingertips. 

For heaven’s sake! You really needed to get a grip, it was ridiculous to be pining like a little lost puppy over a man you had just met. Especially one who seemed to have an aversion to you on the scale that Din clearly did. 

You stood there, heart pounding as the scowl did not fade from his features as quickly as you hoped it might. Whatever problem Din had with your presence was lingering. Great, he doesn’t like me, you thought. How had you already messed it up? Usually, you at least managed to hold it together for a few minutes before the mask slipped and your disdain for the rich assholes became obvious. But this was a new record, even for you. The two of you had barely spoken. And you actually didn’t hate this guy, you were more intrigued by him than disgusted, even if he was behaving a little strangely in your presence.

You were just about to offer to get Din a different tour guide and apologise profusely for whatever it was about your existence that was so off-putting when he finally opened his mouth and spoke.

“Please, you don’t have to call me Mr Djarin. Just Din is fine,” Din said, brown eyes widening as he suddenly snapped out of whatever trance he had been in. Then, he nodded his head – causing a few brown curls to fall over his eyes – and added: “This is my son, Grogu. I don’t know if you were expecting him and I hope he isn’t too young for the tour, but wherever I go, he goes.”

“Aww, he’s adorable!” you exclaimed, unable to help yourself despite your usual disdain for children. You crouched down so you were eye-level with Grogu to greet him properly too. “Hello there, Grogu,” you whispered softly.

The little boy was dressed in a green onesie and his dark curly hair peeked out from underneath the matching green hood. You noticed too, now that you were closer, that he was fiddling with a shiny metallic ball, clutched tightly in his hand. It was a pretty unusual outfit for a museum tour, but you did not judge either of them. You noticed that Grogu seemed a little nervous, as he stood there, unmoving with a blank expression and contemplated you. The biggest brown eyes that you had ever seen in your entire life were staring right back at you, traversing their way across your face.

With his impossibly large eyes and deep bronze skin, even you who ordinarily disliked children had to admit that Grogu was a little charmer. Perhaps it was the fact that you had never really been surrounded by that many children which explained why you had never been particularly fond of them. Either way, even you had to admit: that Grogu was completely adorable. Even if he did not seem keen to acknowledge your existence in any meaningful way.

“He doesn’t always take kindly to strangers…” Din explained as you knelt there, waiting for a response that never came.

“Well, that’s fine!” you smiled at Grogu before you stood up straight. “As long as he takes kindly to museums, I’m sure we’ll have a great time together.”

“Thank you,” Din nodded and swallowed thickly, his voice full of an emotion that you could not quite place.

“How old is Grogu?” you asked, attempting to make some more small talk to put the pair of them at ease.

“He’s thirty-eight months,” Din said quietly as he looked down towards his son, who was still clutching onto Din’s calf with the hand that wasn’t grasping the metallic ball.

You usually found it obnoxious, the way parents measured their babies’ ages in months – just say he’s three! But there was something about the way Din looked at Grogu, the pride you saw there in those warm brown eyes, that stopped you from getting frustrated with him.

“Well, it’s a pleasure to have you both here. There’s no minimum or maximum age for loving history!” you said enthusiastically and then internally cringed. You had perhaps said that a little too enthusiastically to remain authentic to yourself. But part of being a good tour guide was giving your guests a little bit of a show and despite their somewhat mystifying reactions to your existence, you were eager to impress Din and Grogu. “Are there any areas that you are particularly interested in seeing? Unfortunately, the collection is so vast that we won’t have time to see it all, but if there are any specific areas of history that you are especially interested in, I’ll make sure that we see them!”

“To be honest, I don’t know that much about uhh… your history,” Din said, reaching to touch the back of his neck with his hand in a soothing motion.

“Well, you’ve come to the right place to learn!” you said reassuringly.

The man before you seemed somewhat embarrassed about his lack of knowledge, but you loved it when people came here as a blank canvas and you got to tell them about things they had never heard of before. It was one of the most satisfying parts of the job. 

Ironically too, when Din had said he did not know much about your history, the man clearly had no idea that most of this museum did not even show British history. It was an inescapable fact that you had become increasingly sickened by during your time working here. The reality of just how much of the collection had been accumulated due to violent pillaging and plundering of other nations' resources had led to you becoming increasingly disillusioned by the institution as a whole. Although the museum boasted an extensive, impressive collection… so much of it was stolen treasures from the rest of the world. 

You tried not to shy away from the fact, even though management would have been furious if they ever discovered you had brought such a truth up. So, you had to be tactful in your methods. After all, you were a firm believer that change came from within. Despite how tempted you had been to quit your job when you had first realised how little of Britain's history was here, and how the colonial past was gushed over, you had stayed, fearing that perhaps your replacement would have been ignorant to such a fact. You also remained, hoping that you could one day leave the museum in a better condition than the one you found it in.

“Enjoy the tour,” Mo nodded at Din. Then, he approached you and whispered for only you to hear: “Already gave him the stern, don’t-be-a-creep and don’t steal anything talk. Call me if you need anything,” Mo finished and handed you a walkie-talkie.

You placed the device in your pocket and smiled as Mo left, grateful that you had a good friend who would look out for you. Although it seemed that it would be unnecessary, given just how guarded your little tour party seemed.

“Right!” you exclaimed and clapped your hands together, unofficially marking the start of the tour. “If it’s okay with the pair of you, I would love to show you to the exhibition which contains the Lewis chessmen. It’s the oldest surviving chess set from the British Isles and it’s one of the most famous pieces in our collection.”

“Sounds good to me,” Din nodded with a smile as he leaned down to pick Grogu up. Then, he indicated for you to lead the way with his hand.

You kept your distance as you headed in the direction of the infamous chess set. Sometimes you would hang back and engage the guests in small talk or point out various features of the museum. But there was an unmistakable anxiousness present in both Din and Grogu, so you decided to give them space as they adjusted to their new surroundings.

You had intended to take them directly to the chess set, but then an idea struck you for how to get Grogu more engaged. Although you weren’t the biggest fan of children, the feeling did not appear to be mutual as the kids who visited the museum on school trips usually warmed to you surprisingly quickly. Grogu was proving to be somewhat more of a challenge though, but you dreamt up an idea to hopefully engage him a little more.

You stopped and turned around to face Din, who was carrying Grogu tightly in his arms so that the little boy’s chin was resting on one of his broad shoulders. Din came to a stop and glanced at you curiously.

“I know I promised I would take you to the chess set and we can still go there, but I was thinking first that we could pass through the wing which houses our Ancient Egypt collection?” you suggested. “I’m a guide for most of the school trips that visit us and it always seems to be the area that the kids most enjoy.”

“Oh. That’s very… kind of you,” Din rasped. “Thank you.”

You nodded and began walking ahead of your guests again, grateful that Din would not see the effect he was having on your ordinarily calm, composed demeanour. Although he appeared to be a man of few words, every time Din did speak, you felt the way your knees weakened. His voice was so low and gravelly, it was deep and rich. With a voice like that, you thought that it was a crime that he did not speak more often. Though you supposed, it was a good thing after all. His voice was so attractive that it was almost distracting.

Eventually, you made it to the Egyptian section of the museum. You really hoped that it would have the intended impact on Grogu, who was still utterly silent in Din’s arms. You knew that kids usually loved this exhibition most of all. There were sarcophaguses and all kinds of intricate patterns that all the school trips who visited the museum made it a priority to see. 

As you walked through the room, you gave a brief history of this wing of the museum and drew Din and Grogu’s attention to the most notable exhibit: The Rosetta Stone. Afterwards, you told them to let you know if they needed any help. Then, you kept your distance as you wanted to give Din and Grogu some privacy to explore the collection and hopefully become a bit more accustomed to their surroundings. You sensed that Din was not particularly used to museums and it was perhaps making him a little uneasy to be in one. Which made you all the more curious as to why he had organised a private tour.

You maintained your distance but still stood close enough so that you could help them if they needed it. But as you stood back to observe Din Djarin moving between the cases which housed so many ancient treasures, you were struck by the way he somehow seemed oddly familiar. Just as there had been a small flash of recognition on his face when he first saw you, you felt as though you had seen him somewhere before yourself. 

You wondered whether he was actually more famous than he was letting on. After all, he was handsome enough to be an actor or a model. Perhaps you had seen him onscreen somewhere before, even if it was only a minor role. At that moment, Din placed Grogu on the ground and the little boy began to toddle his own path through the exhibits. You observed the way Din followed him around, noticing that there was a certain swagger to the way that he moved and the way his arms swung by his sides that felt familiar. It was his gait, the way he held his arms, something about him gave you the strangest sense of déjà vu. 

But try as you might, you just could not put it all together, even though it felt like you were missing something frustratingly obvious. You felt like you were continually chasing something that was just out of reach. Finally, you felt as though you were about to piece everything together and had almost figured out just where you knew him from when Din called your name and waved you closer. It was a stark reminder that you had a job to do, after all. Din was your visitor, your guest… you needed to get a grip on your emotions.

You approached the case Din was standing in front of, he turned to you with his mouth open, he clearly wanted you to ask you about something. You had expected him to question you on the collection of ornately carved, wooden cat mummies that he was currently standing in front of. But surprisingly, despite the treasures that lay just the other side of the glass, Din’s mind was seemingly elsewhere. 

“Are you working overtime just for us?” Din said quietly, staring straight ahead at the display while Grogu toddled around at your feet.

You were utterly astounded by his audacity. You knew the rich and famous were out of touch but, holy shit! This guy was on a different level. Of course, you were working overtime! If it wasn’t for him, you would be back at home with nothing but you, Mando and lots of peace and quiet. But no, Din fucking Djarin over here had to get in the way of you and your comfort bounty hunter.

“I am,” you replied curtly.

“I hope you’re well paid for it,” Din offered, sympathetically. You were about to bite back with a sarcastic comment, but his next comment stopped you in your tracks: “This wasn’t my idea, by the way. I’m over here in London for work which means I have to spend a lot of time away from my home. It’s just my son and I,” Din continued and you noticed the way he clenched and unclenched his hands that hung by his sides into fists as he spoke. “So, my bosses like to book little excursions like this every so often to stop us from going crazy out of boredom. I just wanted you to know that. To be honest, this kind of thing sort of embarrasses me. I don’t feel good about all the trouble you’ve clearly had to go to, about you staying late and… stuff.”

“Oh…” you breathed. All the bitterness and simmering hatred that you felt for this man had completely disappeared. He was just a lonely single dad, staying far away from home. You wondered what Din’s story was and how Grogu came to be featured in it. There was blatantly a strong bond between them that went beyond words. Indeed, you had not heard the little boy utter a single word, even after being let loose in the Egyptian exhibition. You also, perhaps more selfishly, wondered whether Grogu’s mother was in the picture and whether he was adopted. But that was incredibly invasive, it was not for you to know such personal details. You were just here to show them around the museum and ensure that they had as enjoyable a time as possible. 

“I really am sorry that you had to stay extra late for us. Perhaps I can speak to my bosses and the museum and make sure that all of you, the cleaners, security and the like are fairly compensated.” Din said earnestly as he turned to look at you. His words and face were full of sincerity and you found yourself almost lost in the big brown eyes that had been slowly worming their way into your heart since the first time you had stared into them in the entrance hall.

You were stunned, not only by how physically appealing you found him – if a man could be beautiful, you would deem Din Djarin worthy of such a description – but you were also floored by the beauty of his words. You were stunned by what a humble man he appeared to be, despite the enormous wealth that was seemingly available to him. Surely, if his bosses were so exceedingly rich, then Din himself must be, too? It was hard to believe that because, despite his affluence, Din seemingly still retained his humanity and cared about ordinary people. You were absolutely bowled over by this man. He was nothing like what you had been expecting.

“Thank you for apologising but really, it’s fine. Just one of those things that I have to do. You’re uh, actually the first ever person on one of these visits who has ever acknowledged that. So, thank you, Din. It means a lot,” you smiled at him, feeling your stomach flip at the way he was staring at you. “It’s not like you’ve interrupted much anyway tonight, to be honest. Usually, I just go straight home after work. I’d be lying on the couch in front of the TV by now. But you and Grogu have been a pleasure to show around thus far,” you admitted. You were unsure why you had told Din such a thing, usually feeling embarrassed about your preference for solitude. But there was just something about that man, with his earnest brown eyes, that made you want to tell him everything about yourself. 

“I’m glad to hear that. Thank you for being such a great guide,” Din said appreciatively. And you knew he meant it. Din wasn’t speaking with the fake sincerity that so many of the other obnoxious rich clients that you were so accustomed to showing around the museum, either. It was genuine. You could tell that from the look in his eyes and how solemn his voice was that he meant every word.

“You’re welcome. If you’re ready, we can head to the next area that I'm going to show you to. It contains a stunning artefact known as the Sutton Hoo helmet and it’s perhaps the most famous artefact here that was not stolen from another country,” you observed, dryly.

Din raised his eyebrows at your statement and your heart dropped for a second, fearing that you had perhaps pushed things a step too far. After all, you knew nothing about this man’s background. Perhaps he was one of them. Before you could worry for much longer, though, he burst out laughing at your observation. You let out a sigh of relief and found yourself laughing along with him, too. His joy was infectious and the way the wrinkles showed around his eyes as they half-shut in mirth made your heart soar.

“I did notice that when I was reading the descriptions in this section,” Din nodded. “I don’t think Giza is in the UK. But it never says how the artefacts ended up here. They just act as though everything here magically appeared in London one day.” 

“Yeah, of course. It was just raining artefacts in the Victorian Era,” you rolled your eyes. “But uhh… can I just ask that if you get asked for any feedback about the tour at all… please, please don’t tell my boss I said that. We’re really not supposed to acknowledge that part of the museum’s history,” you pleaded, despite how much you felt as though you inherently trusted Din. 

“Of course I won’t,” Din promised as he shook his head, “I think it’s important to talk about it and it’s a shame if you cannot speak openly.”

“Exactly. I always think how can you not mention it, when it’s staring you right in the face? So I try to slip it in where possible whenever I give tours. I’ve made references to it in front of royalty before now, but they were too dense to notice. Didn’t get taught about what their ancestors did at their posh schools, it seems,” you admitted with a shrug, your blood boiling at the memory of how condescending the minor royals that you had never even heard of had been throughout your tour. “So that’s why I always try to talk about it, especially in future exhibitions I plan to curate. This is probably why none of my proposals have ever been selected, come to think of it. Colonialists don’t like it when you point out how many things you’ve stolen, it transpires.” you said with a wry smile

“No, they don't,” Din said, one corner of his mouth curling into a smirk as he regarded you.

For a few moments, all thoughts of where the tour was headed left your head. You felt immobilised by the way Din was staring at you. Gone was the scowl of earlier, you felt as though he was staring at you as though he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Not in a patronising way that you were well used to, though. He was staring at you in the same way you had witnessed so many visitors stare at the assortment of wonders in the museum: in complete awe.

“Anyway, the helmet is this way.” you said, shaking your head as you stepped out of his gaze and turned to leave the room.

Once again, you walked a few paces ahead of Din and Grogu. You didn’t trust yourself to face him at that moment because of the way that he had just looked at you. It was difficult to remain professional after that. Having someone look at you like that was something you were incredibly unused to. Perhaps you were delusional, but you were certain that Din had just gazed at you as though he was mesmerised by you, taking you in and considering you slowly. 

You suddenly felt a bit shaky after it, feeling the unmistakable thundering of your heart in your chest. Din had regarded you as if you were a beautiful artwork of some kind, rather than just the lowly museum worker that you were. It was enthralling to have someone look at you like that. You were not used to it… it had been years since your last proper relationship. But when you thought back to how your ex looked at you, you were certain you had seen that same admiration in Din’s eyes. But surely, that was ridiculous. Din was a few years older than you, possibly even married, given the child he had with him. You were probably just projecting your hopes onto a situation that was not there. It was a little bit desperate.

Mercifully, the helmet was not too far away from where you currently were in the museum and you made it there quickly enough that you did not have to dwell on the way Din looked at you for an uncomfortably long time. All you knew for certain was that the thought of him looking at you like that again was simultaneously the thing you wanted most in the world and a deeply terrifying and mortifying prospect. But there was no time for you to dwell on it or even really talk to him. There was, instead, an old helmet for you to look at and explain the history of to your visitors. 

You showed Din to the glass case it was displayed in as your heart rate somewhat returned to its normal rate. Talking about Anglo-Saxon antiques was sure to help you in getting a handle on your emotions. Fortunately, your feelings towards the Sutton Hoo helmet had never lessened, despite any more general disillusionment you felt towards the entire institution. Indeed, it was a photograph of this very helmet which had captured your imagination many years ago and sent you down a path that culminated in you working here at the museum. There was something about it that captured your imagination every time you saw it, no matter how many times you had observed it up close. Just knowing that people many centuries ago had created it and gazed upon it with their own eyes somehow made you feel closer and further away from the past than ever.

The helmet was mainly faded to a brown colour now but despite its age, it was remarkably complete. It had a cap, cheek-pieces, mask and neck-guard. The nose detail and eye holes meant one could visualise where the warrior had once placed his head. The two strips of metal that hung around and down the face piece on either side always reminded you of the tusks of an elephant. The gold strip that went from near the top of the helmet towards the nose was an indication of how ornate the helmet had once been. You, Din and Grogu – who was nestled in his father’s arms – stood there for a few quiet moments, regarding the helmet quietly.

“Incredible craftsmanship. Remarkable too, how it has survived for so long. How old is it?” Din asked. 

“We think it was made somewhere between the late sixth and early seventh centuries. So it’s well over one thousand years old, whichever way you look at it,” you explained, delighted that Din wanted you to share your expertise. “It’s a mixture of iron and tinned copper alloy. Some of the patterns have been lost but you can just make out some animals and warrior motifs. The nose and mouth-piece were cast as one and they have a silver inlay with some engraved details. It’s really a fine work and incredible to think about how old it is.”

“Fascinating, thank you,” Din said, before he leaned down and whispered proudly to his son: “See, Grogu, they didn’t make them the same way that we do.” 

You thought it was a bizarre comment, but you had no right to press Din for details, given that he had probably not intended for you to hear such a thing. Perhaps Din was involved in manufacturing military equipment, or something. You did not doubt that there was a lot of money in that line of work, enough money that would allow bosses to rent out the British Museum. 

Despite your longstanding admiration for the Sutton Hoo helmet, you found that every time you looked at it now, your mind was reminded of another helmet: the one that your favourite character wore. Since first watching the show, you found that every time you were here in the presence of the Anglo-Saxon artefact, you always thought of Mando. You marvelled each time at how people who lived so long ago possessed the technology to create such an intricate piece of art. Although much of the detailing had sadly been lost to time, it was nonetheless an incredible feat. It also made you wonder if, in the Star Wars galaxy, Mandalorian helmets were on display like this in museums just like the one you worked at. Or was the warrior race too secretive? Had anyone ever captured a Mandalorian to examine their craftsmanship? 

You were so caught up in that thought, musing over the possibility of there being an equivalent to the Sutton Hoo helmet in the Star Wars universe, that you failed to notice that at some point, while you had been explaining the helmet’s history and quietly admiring it with Din, his son had toddled off. Neither of you noticed that anything was amiss until you heard the unmistakable sound of someone rapping on the glass of one of the displays. You spun around in shock, confused and disorientated, wondering what the noise was; but Din was on it right away.

“Grogu! No!” Din exclaimed as he ran towards his son.

The sound of the metallic ball clutched in Grogu’s chubby little hands went tap tap tap as it collided with the glass case which housed one of the most significant carvings in European history.

You turned around and smiled at the sight – you couldn’t help yourself, despite the fact you probably should have been delivering a stern reprimand – as Din scooped Grogu up and held him to his chest. At some point, while you had been explaining the Sutton Hoo helmet to Din, Grogu had got seemingly bored by your lecture and wandered off to explore something he found far more interesting. 

“I’m so sorry,” Din said apologetically as you came to stand next to him.

“Oh, don’t worry. Those cases are designed to protect against chemical warfare, bullets, fires… anything you can think of,” you smiled, looking down at Grogu who seemed blissfully unaware of the panic he had just elicited in the pair of you. “An excitable toddler is no match. It isn’t like the movies, no red lasers are going to shoot out of the ceiling, I assure you.”

However, just as you were explaining you heard the unmistakable sound of hurried footsteps in the corridor outside, which probably belonged to a member of the museum’s security team as they sprinted to check what the commotion was. Grogu had probably unknowingly activated some kind of security system. The mystery security guard shouted your name and you realised it was Mo, who was clearly sizing the situation up and whether he needed to storm in, guns blazing.

“It’s fine, Mo!” You shouted in reply. “Just a little excited kiddo here, absolutely nothing to worry about.”

“Okay! Just checking!” Mo replied as his footsteps stopped. When they resumed, they grew more distant as he disappeared elsewhere in the museum.

“Thank you,” Din said appreciatively. He exhaled and turned to look at you, a mixture of embarrassment and gratitude on his face that you hadn’t made this into a big deal.

“It’s fine,” you shrugged. “You know, we don’t have too much art here in this museum. I’m surprised he was so drawn to this, I wouldn’t expect a child to like it as it's pretty much just a technical drawing and there are no colours. The art we do have is great though, although it’s nothing like the National Gallery, their collection is amazing,” you mused.

“No, but it’s still a beautiful piece. I think he just likes the look of the armour. I really am sorry about all the commotion,” Din reiterated his apology.

“Oh, really, Mr. Djarin. It’s fine,” you said reassuringly, hoping that your choice not to refer to Din by his first name would place some distance between the two of you. “The security guys just get a little jumpy after hours, that’s all.” 

“Please, I absolutely insist that you call me Din. Mr. Djarin makes me sound like an old man!” Din joked.

“Okay Din,” you giggled, but were desperate to change the subject. “You know, if Grogu is interested in art, there’s also the National Gallery, another museum here. It gets quite busy at peak times, as all museums do. The crowds particularly gather around Van Gogh’s sunflowers. I mean, I get it. He’s my favourite painter and I love that piece. But there’s so much other art that gets neglected, lonely at its expense. People just walk up to the sunflowers, snap their pictures and leave. The whole thing is very impersonal… they don’t take a second to appreciate the hours that the artist spent agonising over every little detail, you know?”

“It is a shame… that people cannot stop to appreciate beautiful things when they’re standing right in front of them…” Din’s voice had dropped to barely above a whisper as his brown eyes focused on you, smiling at you thoughtfully.

You cleared your throat and looked down, feeling the familiar warmth that came with embarrassment creep up your neck and onto your face. Your cheeks were suddenly burning. The look Din had given you when he said beautiful had made you feel slightly dizzy. You weren’t sure whether he was referring to the art or you. It made you feel slightly lightheaded. You had almost forgotten what it felt like to be spoken to like that, it had been so long since anyone had seen you in that way. 

It was somewhat alarming to you, too, how quickly you felt comfortable around Din. Perhaps it was watching his interactions with Grogu but, despite his broad shoulders and muscular frame, there was an undeniable gentleness to him. It had been a long time since you had opened up to anyone as easily as you had to Din. Oh sure, you were only explaining that you sometimes enjoyed looking at art at a certain gallery and that you liked to lounge around in front of the TV. They weren’t your deepest, most intimate secrets or anything. But for someone who took so long to feel comfortable around others, it said something about how at ease you felt with Din that you were able to tell him these little things about yourself so soon after meeting him.

“Yes… it’s a shame,” you eventually agreed. “Anyway, sorry for going on a rant about selfish gallery-goers. Would you like me to tell you more about the artwork?” you asked, remembering what you were being paid for and attempting to steer the conversation back towards something that you were infinitely more comfortable with – historical artefacts.

“That would be great, thank you,” Din nodded as he placed Grogu down.

“The piece that captured Grogu’s imagination, as it transpires, is one of the most important carvings in European history. It’s a woodcut of a rhinoceros created by a German painter called Albrecht Dürer in 1515, who never even saw the beast. He carved it based on a description from an Indian writer,” You explained as you launched into a passionate lecture about the history of Dürer’s rhino, the two pairs of big brown eyes that belonged Din and Grogu watching you intently. “Clearly, the carving is not wholly accurate, as the rhinoceros looks as though it has plates of armour on its body, rather than the skin anyone from modern times knows that rhinos actually possess. But it was the best they could do. I always find it astonishing that people from such a long time ago were able to create such intricate pieces of art,” you marvelled, hoping to fill Din and Grogu with the same sense of wonderment that you felt when you thought about the past.

Sometimes, you felt embarrassed about the extensive knowledge that you possessed, that you could always launch into such detailed lectures at a moment’s notice. There were so many people in your past who had viewed your knowledge as patronising arrogance on your part, distorted by their inadequacies to believe that you were showing off somehow and attempting to make them feel inferior. But you were not, you were just passionate and enthusiastic about the world that surrounded you, particularly the past. You enjoyed sharing that passion and knowledge with other people. It was never born out of a desire to make them feel bad for what they did not know, but to help them to learn something new and perhaps open their minds.

But you felt none of that embarrassment as you concluded your lecture, still being watched intently by Din and Grogu: “As you can imagine, this would influence perceptions of rhinoceros for centuries, even though it was not accurate. Would be pretty cool if rhinos wore armour though, wouldn’t it, Grogu?” You finished, smiling at the little boy who had listened to you so patiently.

“Thank you for that. I’m sure Grogu would agree, he likes…. Uh… armour,” Din said, reaching up to squeeze the back of his neck again, just as he had done shortly after you met in the entrance hall.

You smiled and nodded, appreciating the praise. But Din’s comment about the armour stood out to you, especially when you considered what he had said to Grogu about the Sutton Hoo helmet earlier. You were beginning to feel more certain now that Din probably had something to do with weapons, somehow. Perhaps it was his main line of work, or perhaps he was one of those enthusiasts who reenacted battles in his spare time… now that was a funny image.

But Din continued speaking before you could dwell on the comment any longer: “Grogu really likes animals too. I think he likes them more than the art and history aspect, as interesting as they were,” Din remarked.

“Oh, there’s a zoo here in London, you know? I think it has some rhinos, but if he likes animals perhaps it would be a nice day out for the two of you. I haven’t been for a while, usually, it’s full of tourists, but if I get a day off and it’s not the summer, I do like hanging out there,” you admitted.

“I would love to visit sometime, hopefully, Grogu and I can find the time while we’re over here,” Din said, touching his chin as if he were deep in thought.

“Yes, it’s definitely worth a visit. A lot of people seem surprised that London has such an impressive zoo with animals from all around the world. It often gets overlooked in favour of all the more touristy sights. You know, Big Ben, Buckingham Palace and shopping on Oxford Street. And don’t get me wrong, I do love going to those places from time to time. It never ceases to amaze me that I live in the capital city, you know. But I think there is just as much value to be gained from getting out in nature and exploring the natural beauty our world has to offer,” you said, thoughtfully.

“Me too. A lot of nature can be so… beautiful.” Din breathed, that look was back again as he used that word once more.

You felt that familiar skin-warming sensation creep back up your neck again and gazed down at the floor, moving away from his penetrating gaze as you invited them to follow you to look at some more of the collection. You roamed around the exhibition with the two of them for a little bit longer after you felt that you had spent enough time looking at the carving of the rhinoceros.

Eventually, after quickly looking at some of the art from the Arab world that was in the collection, it was time for you to draw the tour to a close. You ushered Din and Grogu back down the grand stone staircase in the main, airy room that was still lit naturally despite the late hour. It was late June so the sun did not sit till late, though the sunlight that streamed down in the day had begun to dim now. 

Din’s brown hair and eyes looked golden in the sunset light, his eyes were glowing almost the colour of honey. He was stunning. You couldn’t believe how much you found yourself enthralled by this man, even though you had just met him. Throughout the tour, you had both connected over history and your shared values. It was nothing too deep though and you were only operating in a professional capacity, but it was pathetic how much you already felt drawn to him. You needed to get over yourself. 

Fortunately, you soon would as you were about to say goodbye. You knew in your heart of hearts that, much as you had enjoyed your time spent with him, once you said your goodbyes and he left through the door with Grogu, that would be the very last you would ever see of Din Djarin. 

“Thank you for being such an incredible guide,” Din said, reaching out to shake your hand again. “Grogu and I had the best time.”

You could barely choke out a reply. You wondered whether Din had felt the same spark of electricity that you felt when he had taken his hand in yours. His skin was surprisingly smooth and warm; if you weren’t completely deluding yourself, you swore that his hand lingered on yours a beat longer than it had when you had introduced yourself to him. Even though you had both left your hands on each other for a near-uncomfortably long amount of time even then. Din looked directly into your eyes, the brown of his irises was now flecked with golden streaks. You wanted to lose yourself in those eyes. What a shame you had to part.

“It was my pleasure. I hope you learnt something new on the tour, something that you take with you always,” you smiled, still looking into his eyes. “Enjoy the remainder of your time here in the UK.”

Din thanked you one last time and even got Grogu to wave to you. Then he was gone, his footsteps echoing off the marble floors and tall ceilings. You were left there in his wake. This enigmatic man, with kind brown eyes and brown curly hair, had been so kind to you despite all your expectations to the contrary. You knew that you would never cross paths with him again and that thought pained you somewhere deep inside. You felt as though Din had brought something to your life that you had not realised you were missing. What a loss, a loss of a man that you barely even knew.

Still, you consoled yourself with the thought that at least you had your comfy couch and endless episodes of The Mandalorian to go back to. Your favourite show would always be there for you. Mando would never leave you standing there, pining for him. It was ridiculous! You shook your head, trying to pull yourself out of the trance that Din had just left you in. You needed to get home before it was too late.

You grabbed your belongings from the office and finally began to head for home, several hours later than you had been anticipating but still grateful that at least the tour had not been an utter disaster. Perhaps that would have been better, though, you mused. Rather than leaving you with such a twisted, tangled mess of feelings.

To distract yourself from the impossibly noisy drunken teenagers who were heading for a night out – suddenly making you feel ancient – you passed your time on the journey home with your nose buried into your phone, texting Ria about the man you had just given a tour to.

[ilovemando] 20:42 - RIAAAAA i just showed the hottest guy around the museum for a private tour. dreamy brown eyes, deep voice, tall, broad shoulders. he was older though and had a kid but i think he called me beautiful at one point? dgsdhgs maybe i’m delulu but wow he was fucking HOT i am yearning

You stared around the carriage absentmindedly, waiting for Ria to reply as you wished your noise-cancelling headphones could make everyone disappear, especially the drunk dickheads on your train. Fortunately, Ria was chronically online and you didn’t have to wait too long for her to reply.

[thisistheslay] 20:44 - Omg bestie!!! Did anything else happen, do you think you’ll see him again? A private tour though ugh. Eat the rich!!

[ilovemando] 20:47 - nahhh i cant see him again, didnt get his number. would’ve been unprofessional lmao. we just spoke quite a lot, i guess. it felt more relaxed than a lot of the tours i gave recently actually. he was really sweet. works a good job so thats how he got the tour… not rich arsehole vibes at all. fuck im crushing on a man i’ll never see again. pain

[thisistheslay] 20:49 - I mean, better than crushing on someone who doesn’t even exist? 

You threw your head back and snorted. That was a low blow, but probably deserved.

[ilovemando] 20:50 - RIA??????? UNCALLED FOR!!

[thisistheslay] 20:51 - Sorry, sorry. I know Mando is real to you.

[ilovemando] 20:51 - ur damn right he is lmao. gonna watch the foundlings when i get back. if no one else got me, i know mando got me… can i get an amen

[thisistheslay] 20:53 - AMEN! The only man who deserves rights.

[ilovemando] 20:54 - so true bestie. anyway gonna put my phone away and stare out of the window for the rest of the journey and listen to the mando soundtrack while imagining we’re flying through space in the razor crest together…. im so mentally stable. ill live text u my mental breakdown when watching the foundlings when i get home :))))

[thisistheslay] 20:56 - Hahah you really are, very healthy behaviour. Please do, I’ll look forward to it, work is dragginggggg

You smiled and put your phone in your pocket, doing exactly as you said. As far above you, the dense city turned into lush suburbia, you were elsewhere. Not even on this earth as you daydreamed about Mando next to you.

You almost missed your stop, such was the vividness of your daydream. You wished you could escape to that fantasy world and stop pining for a man you hardly knew. The time you had spent with Din had been the happiest you had felt since the convention since Ria had left. But it had been fleeting, temporary and now you were heading back to reality which, for you, was lying on your couch on a Friday night, watching your comfort episode of Mando for the billionth time. 

You sighed deeply as you lay there, watching the episode. It was unhealthy to compare a fictional character to reality and you knew that. But you just wished that more men could be like Mando. You adored the way he took such good care of the children. He was so empathetic, and protective; so sworn to his duty that he got himself into precarious situations multiple times throughout the episode to protect the foundlings, who were strangers to him. But Mando did it without hesitation, without anger. He was just a good man.

You couldn’t help but be reminded of the interactions you had seen between Din and Grogu. There you were, again! Caught up yearning for a much older man that you were never going to see again. This episode was meant to distract you from him and replace your newfound pining for a real, unattainable man with a familiar yearning for a fictional man who was even more unattainable because he wasn’t real. But instead, everything you saw of Mando was causing you to think of Din. It had not been the evening you had planned.

You had expected to watch more episodes, perhaps having a mini binge. You always intended to stop after one episode, of course. But the reality was quite different. You found yourself unable to stop, no matter how hard you tried as the story always gripped you. You always found Mando’s presence familiar and comforting and you had watched an entire season in one sitting before. 

But tonight, you actually did stop after just one episode. You were too distracted to enjoy it properly so when the episode finished, you headed to your room. That night, you fell asleep underneath The Mandalorian poster above your bed, trying to replace thoughts of the brown eyes and brown curls of Din Djarin by thinking about Mando and the way he took care of those children. Trying to replace memories of the tall, broad-shouldered man you had shown around the museum with thoughts of a hulking tin can man with a confident strut who was prepared to give his all to make the galaxy a better place. 

Little did you know whichever way you thought about it, you were fantasising about the same man.

Next Chapter

Taglist: @toxic-seduction @survivingandenduring

[tohisprettyc00l]

collector alphabets

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

VERY affectionate (Mans hasn't been real friends with anyone in hundreds of years please-)So yeah you being their first friend in a while he is very grateful. They don't have many ways to show their affection besides playing games though. They will still try to do things you want to do as well! It's just their still learning how to talk to people again. Not to mention that they couldn't touch anybody or anything for a fucking while.

B = Best friend

If you're able to become BEST friends with him then your life is so much more fun in every way. Listen he sees everyone he even slightly likes as their friend. But since you are his best friend. Hoo boy. If they're still trapped, he will get unbelievably excited once you show up. He Shapeshifts (or whatever that weird thing he does is) to make you laugh. Once they get out, they're not always by you, but they are enough to the point where people are surprised to see you apart.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He has super fluffy clothes, so it's very comfy. Despite them usually wearing pajamas, they are always energetic. So it's gotta be a special occasion for them to cuddle. Well for most, not for you <3. They quickly snuggle up to you. It's very warm and comfy.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

(These might be kind of different because I refuse to write romance for them) Anyway not gonna answer the settled-down question. They can just snap their fingers and boom food n clean house. But if they have to do it without magic...well... yeah no he's clueless. Though he's a quick learner (well kinda) so teach him and he'll be able to help.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) Okay wow... They're not great with their emotions, so if they need to stop being your friend, they'll kinda just Don't? Like they kinda just stop talking to you. ALSO, I want to say why they would. I have no idea for when they're free, but for when they're still trapped, Belos probably made him do it. Belos either tells him he won't set The collector free, or he comes up with some bullshit excuse why he CAN'T.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

I really don't know how to answer this for a person who is basically a child-

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

They try their hardest. I mean he has the powers of a God so, despite what it seems like, they restrain themselves a lot. Cause even the smallest mistake could end with you needing to go to the hospital. When it comes to emotions, he has no fucking clue whan they're mean. Like if you tell him he'll apologize and (try) not to do it again. But he does not know he's being mean. I feel like the dude only knows the basics of right and wrong to like-

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?) Tight and lowkey hurts, or soft and gentle, no in-between. If you have been gone for a while, expect a hug that almost breaks your back. Not to mention in those cases he's almost a blur. But, they don't mind giving you a comforting hug. <3. If they've had a long day he'll just kinda collapses on you and slowly turns that into a hug.

I = I love you (How fast do they use the L-word?)

As soon as they realize, like no hesitation. They are scared of losing you, he knows that humans don't live forever. So they need to tell you before it's too late.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they're jealous?)

(Everyone is going to have a healthy relationship when it comes to jealousy, A.K.A they aren't jealous because you have other friends and the other person is actually doing something to somewhat warrant it) Whenever he is jealous he acts like a child. Because they are one. Not towards you towards the other person. They'll stick their tongue out at them, never talk or reply to the other person, and all around br petty. It's pretty easy to tell when he's jealous. Just tell them they're still your Best friend and they'll stop.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Child. But they do live to both receive and give platonic forehead kisses.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He is a kid. And can't take care of one

Though if you have a little sibling, expect them to immediately become friends with them no questions asked.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He doesn't need to sleep so they'll probably be like a cat or any 5-year-old. Either pokes at you until you wake up, or they just stand in your doorway. Ominously.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Like said they don't sleep. So they probably ask for a sleepover, just so you stay away longer. Would love to watch scary movies with you late in the night, also despite being thousands of years old he will always be more scared than you.

Side note: they will not tolerate you not getting enough sleep. If you wake up early after the slumber parties he will stop having them.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?) They take a while to open up. (for obvious reasons.) But the more they get to know you the more they trust you. They will slowly start to tell you about his trauma if you will listen. Though they end up just dumping everything out at once.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?) Pretty patient with his friends, and also cools down pretty quickly after fights. But, when it comes to people who hurt his friends (mentally or physically) they are screwed. No Patience. Like at all. Not that that is a huge issue when people know you're (best) friends with The Collector.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing or do they kind of forget everything?) They don't remember your favorite color but remember exactly what you did for your 7th birthday. Mainly because they find "normal" questions boring. (Not saying they find you boring but y'know)

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?) The first time you won a game, hands down. It doesn't matter if it was the first try, or if it takes you 1,000 tries. Because he thinks games are a lot more fun if he can lose. (let's be honest with ourselves he barely loses when playing with other people)

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?) Pretty fumking protective. Not overprotective though. He has seen a lot of insane ways people get hurt, so they will try to get you to be a little more cautious... Whenever they're not around. He can heal and easily protect you when he's around you. Also while he doesn't need protection, he likes to feel protected. Please just hold and cuddle the boy.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) Okay for special occasions they'll get whatever room it is all bedazzled. Nailing all drawings and photos to the walls, have a bunch of songs ready to play, and the room is covered in fairy lights. (please don't ask where he got the lights, he doesn't want to tell you about his crimes on a special day)

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?) Like I said they only know the basics of what's right and what's wrong. So sometimes they'll do pretty messed up stuff without knowing it's bad, in the slightest. Also when you tell them what they're doing is wrong they'll sometimes get defensive. But a lot of the time he's also trying to convince himself he's on the right more than he's trying to convince you.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

They've been around so long they don't really care. Both about their looks and yours. Beauty standards are always changing. So what's the point of stressing about them?

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Not necessarily incomplete, just wrong. When you two first met he missed you when you left but didn't care. But as you became closer it felt weird when you left. So anytime they can they can be by you, they are.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.) Their favorite game is Hide and Seek. As mentioned earlier they like for it to be 50/50 of who will win.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn't like, either in general or in a partner?) Boring people. I feel like I've made it pretty obvious, but he needs a person to be somewhat fun to even be acquaintances.

Z = Zzz (What is their sleep habits of theirs?) As mentioned before, he doesn't need to sleep. But he can if he really wants to. So when they do they are a heavy sleeper. They NEED at least 10 stuffed animals to sleep. Also, they steal all of the blankets. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them? I don't have the energy to say 'they play games' in a different way again.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them? Your style when it comes to clothes. It doesn't really matter if it's consistent or not, if it's not that just makes it more to see if he can guess what your wearing. He kinda just doesn't care what you're wearing, you could have the most swagless outfit in history and he'd still love it.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Tries to distract you. And when/if that doesn't work he kinda panics as well. They aren't great at comfort, so all they know how to do is rub your back and whisper 'It's okay.'

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o? He never really thinks about the future. In his opinion, it's a lot funner to think of the present.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive? I'm not going to answer this for anyone because it kinda makes uncomfortable I don't know why 😕

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting? Really depends on what the fights are about, if it's anything small he'll forgive after a day or two. But after a bigger fight it would take a week or two for him to forgive you.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them? After being released he's a lot more grateful in general. Saying thank you to strangers more and more, which might seem small but he was worshiped by many people, so it's a big step for him. But after they truly became your friend, hoo boy. He smothers you with attention. Thanks you constantly for everything. You have to tell the boy to stop.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything? already answered

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems? They are a way better person now (as I've stated before-) But it's not until someone points it out when they realize. Now they also try to help you, granted they aren't the best with human problems or mortal problems. He does try though.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Already answered

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

✨ Already answered ✨

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o? I know I said I wouldn't write romance for them,but I just got an idea. So this is more of a one time thing. He accidentally blurts it out. It takes them a few seconds to realize what they said. The collector quickly apologized and tried to play it off as a mistake. They just misspoke is all! But when you say you feel the same they freeze. What? Really!? They are ecstatic! It takes at least half an hour for him to stop hugging you.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

As said before the romance was a one of thing

N icknames - What do they call their s/o? They aren't one for nicknames. Though they do jokingly call you bestie or babygirl (if your okay with it ofc)

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings? Does this count as romance? I don't think it really does in this case. Anyway they're like a stereotype when it comes to having a crush. They are a stuttering and blushing mess. You have to be the most oblivious person in the world to not notice this. But of course, you are. Though they aren't that mad about it.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching? It romance again. (Though they do brag about you-)

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship. He has the powers of a god. Enough said.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative? You've got to be kidding me

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

They try. Granted he's not the best with helping. So half the time their attempts to help do nothing but like I said they try. Also they 110% believe you can do it. And if someone as powerful as him believing in you isn't a confidence boost then I don't know what it is.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Surprisingly they like to have a little order in day to day life. That's not to say they like to have everything planned out, it's just they get kinda stressed if they don't have somewhat of an idea of the days going to be life.

U nderstanding - How well do they know their partner? Are they empathetic? They know a kinda creepy amount about you. I'm not expanding on that.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it worth in comparison to other things in their life? I've said it again and again, but you're like the most important thing in their life. He would ( and basically can) do anything for you.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon. They have a stuffed animal collection (they are the Collector after all) and all them have unique names. Also when I say unique names I don't just mean they have their own individual names I mean they have names like shampoo, nail polish, and paper bag.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle? Loves cuddles and (plationic) kisses <3. It's nice to calm down and just be comfy. They are pretty affectionate! Traps you in hugs on the regular.

Y earning - How will they cope when they're missing their partner? If it's when he was trapped in the walshe just kinda fucks around. distracts himself by shapeshifting. But if it's when he's out, he binge watches shows (mainly kids show obv)

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of? They will kill anyone who hurts you ❤️. Okay that's a bit of an exaggeration but they will do anything to protect you. 

[j-nope-not-today]

So I do roller derby and been having this stuck in my head for while, could I have Raph reacting to his s/o who does roller derby? I can picture him freaking out at first, but once he sees them on the track and kissing ass, he's so psyched and proud of them

Roller derby

A/n: I hope you like it! I didn't really want to do a reaction so I did it as a small drabble instead I hope you don't mind! Thanks so much for requesting!

I was trying to sneak out so quietly and so sneakily that Raph just knew I was hiding something so he just had to pop up behind me

"Where'd you think your goin'?" I jumped at his sudden appearance and turned to look at him

"No where special.." I knew he was gonna push until I told him, but I hoped maybe just maybe be would let me sneak off.

Although it was unlikely since I was dressed for the occasion. The occasion being roller derby. One of my many passions and hobbies and one I had to unfortunately keep from Raph since I knew I would get a big long speech about how it was "too dangerous."

"Your obviously going somewhere and I want to go with."

"Oh..sure." that's surprising to me..I was sure he wouldn't even be interested.

I squinted my eyes are him and held my hand out and he took it before giving me a smirk and allowing me to lead the way.

"Your being awfully weird right about now.." I muttered.

"I figured I would at least see what it is before I lecture you." He smiled down at me and I gave him a smile back.

Progress. At least he wanted to see it first.

And see it he did, because I was absolutely kicking ass out here. No one could knock me down.

"Woo hoo! Yes!" I laughed at Raph who was cheering in the background.

Once things wrapped up and my team won. All thanks to yours truly. I headed over to where Raph was waiting for me.

"Alright. Thoughts?" I was curious as to what he was thinking.

"At first I was scared.. wasn't gonna let you go through with it. I thought you might get hurt..." He paused and looked at me. Weighing his next words.

"Go on.." I crossed my arms and looked at him.

"I was wrong. You were amazing! I mean wow you got to teach me sometime.." I saw the look in his eyes. He was mesmerized.

"You think I looked kinda hot huh?" I smirked as he got all shy and blushy with me and I pulled him down into a kiss. Pulling back he held my face in his hands.

"Yeah alright...you were right again.."

[onsomekindofstartrek]

It’s weird. English/Anglophone exceptionalism in popular culture seems to have come 180 degrees around from colonial chauvinism (English is uniquely good/civilized) to the opposite (English is uniquely bad/hard/awkward/“barbaric.”)

And it’s like… bizarre to me because English is just… some language.

Like, sure, there’s a long history of colonial conquest making it one of the most common second languages in the world. That’s not unique. French and Spanish have both done that. And yes, owing to the long period and wide range of countries in which it’s been spoken, and the prestige which English has been given in print, it does have one of the largest documented lexicons of any language, to the extent that it’s often claimed that it’s “the biggest language.” But I genuinely think that’s just situational.

And like, sure, it’s a little notable that it has lexical influences from both Norse and Medieval French, owing to different conquests of the Isles, and from Latin, owing largely to the Catholic Church. But it’s not unique for a language to pick up words from conqueror’s languages, and in fact this happened more recently to Modern Norse, as well as like… most of the common languages in the colonized parts of the world.

Or we can discuss some popular American misconceptions about English spelling and grammar, most of which are down to the fact that in America, English grammar and phonetic reading are literally no longer taught in most schools.

Like, yeah, it’s a little weird that our spelling has a really poor phonetic correspondence to pronunciation and lots of wildly irregular words in the common vocabulary. But so does Danish! It’s not even unique among the Germanic languages much less among languages in general. Vowels in Arabic vary wildly from region to region and can be more or less strictly correspondent to the written or implied letter. There are languages where you have to memorize the pronunciation of most words because they’re written with one or two characters per word.

And our insistence on using present participles to form the unmarked present tense of verbs (is doing, is going, is walking, etc.) is not unique or even particularly strange or clunky either, it’s just that not many West European languages do it. Spanish can do it but it’s not the unmarked form. German technically can but it’s rare. And those are just the two that I speak. I don’t know about the other common ones.

And Christ, no, English is not unique because of [weird pseudolinguistic hypothesis that I heard someone say once and took as fact.] Why are there like a million of these?

So I really wonder why this narrative of English being so exceptionally weird and bad sticks around.

Like, again, I do have to stress how badly most US citizens under a certain age have been failed by the public school system. They’re taught very little grammar and a lot of them are taught to read in elementary school by a completely fallacious method where they don’t sound out a world letter by letter, but instead try to recognize the whole word at once like an adult fluent reader would, or guess from context if they don’t recognize it. Which is not how you acquire literacy. Your average US citizen under 35 has an impoverished formal education in language. Actually I’d go so far as to say that the average US citizen under 35 has an impoverished education about the humanities in general.

But this alone doesn’t account for the prevalence of weird scurrilous myths about the English language.

Is it… is it an attempt by European-American L1 anglophones to paint themselves as victims of cultural imperialism? Because if so… oh boo hoo, the two most powerful empires in history imposed our native language all over the world. How terrible for us, we surely don’t benefit from that all the time. Oh, it’s such a terrible language? Oh wow, you’re right, you’re the real victim.

But that feels like it’s not entirely true either. I mean there’s definitely some useless liberal self-flagellation involved but I don’t think that’s entirely it either. And I get that there’s some amount of overcorrection for the old English-chauvinist narrative, but that doesn’t feel like enough of an explanation either.

Does anyone have a better explanation?

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

Halloweek: Day 2

Editor: @thenightmareismyreality

Tags: @theworldofotps , @writtingrose , @letsgivethisonemoreshot , @aerynscrichton , @daddyhausen , @damnnhausen , @starwithaheart, @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin , @sophiewolfheart-blog , @sultryfandoms , @new-zealand-chic , @crowleysqueenofhell , @thealliasylum , @legit9thlunaticwarrior , @baysexuality , @josiewrites , @seeingstarks , @sldghmmr , @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch , @whenimakeitshine1234 , @blaquekittycat , @auburnwrites , @brie-mode-activated

*The underworld will never be the same after today* Bálor thought to himself as his eyes stared at you sitting on his throne. Halloween was always a boring and stupid time of year for Bálor. Well, festivities in general were dumb but this one in particular took the prize. What made it somewhat less painful though was you - you and your bubbly personality and deep love for “spooky things” made this time of the year something Bálor secretly yearned for.

He already lost count of the many different things you had been for Halloween in the years you’ve been together, but this year was by far his all time favorite. This year you are him: The Demon King himself - or should he say herself.

You had carefully matched everything, you’d painted your skin red, white and black, got yourself some fangs, claws, red eyes and even black and crimson hair. You looked equally adorable and frightening sitting on his throne and holding your decapitated human head candy basket.

“My King” Damian bowed before you with a playful smirk on his lips.

You smiled widely and greeted “Damian, my favorite torturer! Trick or treat?” The crinkling sound of candy wrappers being shook inside the basket caught Damian’s attention “I’m not sure if I should-”

“Oh, c’mon! I’m the king aren’t I?” You asked and he nodded in agreement “So go on, get a handful and let’s see what you’ve got”

Damian was reluctant at first, but when you shook the little basket in front of him once again, he finally took a handful of candy.

“Let me see what you’ve got” You clapped excitedly and Damian let you take a peek at what he got

”Uuuhhh, candy corn, Reese's cups, air head, hershey bar…Wow, Damie you got lucky, huh?!”

Damian felt his cheeks burning with embarrassment at your compliment and nickname. He cleared his throat quickly to regain some composure “Thank you, my King. I…I should get back to work now”

“Ok, but tell Rhea she still owes me my Reese’s cups” You spoke as you unwrapped a caramel apple lollipop.

“Ok, I’ll deliver the message” Damian chuckled once his eyes spotted his boss entering the throne room. He bowed to Bálor and quickly made his exit as the true Demon King approached his throne.

“Having fun, sunshine?” He tauntingly raised one eyebrow, instantly making you smirk. “It’s ‘my king’ to you, peasant” You mocked back, using the same words spoken by him when you first met in the middle of your grandparents’ cornfield.

“Apologies, my king” He bowed playfully “Is that better?” The teasing tone continued to coat his voice and features, eliciting a joyful laugh from you.

“I don’t appreciate the sarcasm but yes, it’s better, thank you”

Bálor walked the thirteen steps up that led to his throne and stopped before you, he pulled the lollipop away from your lips to place it inside his mouth. “You know they’ll be unbearable, right?” He smirked and pointed with his head towards the next room, where all the demons and demonesses were gathered around a deadly combo of too much Halloween candy and every kind of alcohol available in the human world.

“Well, that will be a problem for the real Demon King” You innocently smiled before stealing your lollipop back “And rude of you to steal my candy”

“Boo-hoo” Bálor grinned and quickly stole the candy again, making you gasp “You bully!”

You stood up on your feet and looked up at his imposing figure towering above you

“What are you gonna do about that, shortstack?” He patted your head playfully, knowing how much that would annoy you.

“I’m not a shortstack!” You quickly climbed on top of his throne in order to try to gain a few inches to your advantage - but it was pointless, he was still as tall as a tower. “It’s not my fault you’re way taller than Finn and I. And I want my candy back!”

Bálor leaned forward with a grin until his face was mere inches from yours “You want it back? That’s not my problem….shortstack”

“You know I can simply fight you to get it back, no?” Your eyes narrowed and a determined expression settled in your features.

“I’d love to see you try, sunshine” Bálor leaned back and teasingly brushed some imaginary dust off his carved abs. “So, are you up for a fight?” His eyes gleamed with malice and his fangs somehow appeared sharper underneath the fireplace lit room.

Instead of answering him, you tried to get some advantage by jumping on him - but of course he held you in his embrace once your legs clasped around his hips.

“Oh, it’s on, Demon King!” You dared as he took you towards your master bedroom.

Bálor laughed before tossing you on top of the mattress to straddle your hips “I’ve never thought that someday I would have the hots for my impostor but oh well, the more you know”.

[thedisasterracers]

*gives all the racers a flag of every country in the world, refuses to elaborate, leaves*

Vanellope: Oooooo flags imma put them up in my walls! Especially this one *The Israel flag* this one speaks to me. I think this one will be put up on my bedroom.

Candlehead acting overwhelmed: There’s soooo manyyyyy flagggsss. Maybe I should tell taffyta.

She turns.

Candlehead: OH TAFFYTA!

Taffyta: Yes.

Candlehead: What flag stands out to you for me? :3

Taffyta: Hmmmmm French. Because you can never shut up.

Candlehead: Thanks bestie westie ^-^

Taffyta: I think Dominican Republic has a lot of flair to me.

Rancis: What makes you say that?

Taffyta: Have you’ve seen a Dominican baddie? They just like me.

Candlehead: Not to forget that they play loud music!

Taffyta: Exactly. I play loud music outside of vanellope’s castle from time to time.

Vanellope seeming passive aggressive: And you caused me to wake up several times, early in the morning from those said ‘time to time.’ So what I’m trying to say is yes, Dominican very much suits you as a whole.

Taffyta: Gracias Cabrón.

Vanellope, gives a stare: I sense something you said that was very rude but I’m not going to conform it.

Vanny and taffyta have a bit of a starring contest. The glitchy president manage to poke taffytas nose before getting chased by her.

Swizzle: Damn There’s so many. But come on i at least gotta show love to my Filipino bros and sisters out there.

Jubileena: I also wanna show love to my Mexican people out there. Wooo hoo! Right sis?

Citrusella trying to listen to music: Chinga tu madre.

Jubilenna: ¿POR QUE ME HABLA ASÍ?

The two sisters argue like to two orange tabby cats.

Rancis: Are you going to do anything???

Swizzle: It’s a cat fight between two twin sisters. I can’t do anything! Don’t you know this by now?

Rancis: Im not good at information like that.

Swizzle: Hmm ok. Well your too white to understand anything.

Rancis: That was rude.

Swizzle: Ok ok. Your too British to understand anything is that any better?

Rancis does a dramatic gasp then he starts explaining about the United Kingdom and how I’m not going to write about this cuz it’s rancis. Meanwhile Swizzle knew what he was up for because he knows he’s right.

Crumbelina: Wow so many fighting here today. I think the only flag that matters to me is the Italian flag. I mean i am based of the country’s dessert and how I have this lovely accent.

MintyZ: You have an accent?

Crumbelina: I do. The only reason why you can’t hear it cuz this person running this blog has to voice me in an animatic or whatever in order to show how I sound like.

MintyZ: Ain’t that the truth. Besides you always had a good sense of fashion and words that proves you are Italian.

Crumbelina sounding a bit mad: Guessed you missed the part about my kart.

MintyZ: Why would I focus on the kart? When all I wanna do is focus on you?

Crumbs just seemed to put her hand in her face trying to hide away the blush she just received from her girlfriend’s compliment.

Crumbelina: How are you good at this…

MintyZ just shows the Japanese flag without leaving her charming gaze on her girlfriend.

Crumbelina: This explains so much about you.

MintyZ: Guess it does.

Sticky, Torvald, and Sakura don’t say anything cuz their sister already did the job for them and left to go get some take out for dinner.

MintyZ: Before you girls leave can you get me uh…

Sticky, Torvald, and Sakura: WE KNOW.

*Door shuts*

Crumbelina looks at her gf: I guess that also explains about yourself too.

Adorabeezle: Speaking of sisters, Nougetsia. Have you found the Mongolia flag yet.

Nougetsia: I’m trying to find by color coding it right know.

She starts to panic.

Nougetsia: Why is there so much red!!!

She panics more.

Adorabeezle: Take a cool down, sis. It’s flag color is taken up by blue in the middle, right? So look at the blue section and not the red one. Its because seriously 70% of flags are taken up by red. So just keep that in mind.

Nougetsia seeming overwhelmed: Okiiii.

Adorabeezle: I’m going to bathroom and I’ll be back you got this under control isn’t that right?

Nougetsia: Uh..

Adorabeezle leaves without hearing her sisters response.

Snowanna: At least I found mind. Shout out to all my South African people out there. Hehe.

Nougetsia sounding whiny: I can’t find it ohhh….

Snowanna: Don’t worry, Sia. I can help you. I already found what I needed but you seem like your going to pop. Like a Shake soda can.

Nougetsia: Thank you Snow, I’m not really good at finding things. I just really wanna represent my ethnicity.

Snowanna: Who hasn’t been there. And your not doing a bad job at representing your ethic group. If anything your as good as you think you are doing.

The two just start to have a lovely chat, Gloyd seems to only say this about his flag.

Gloyd: It’s kind of ironic how people think of South Koreans as reserved and well mannered when I’m literally just here, but no matter.

He puts the flag behind his back and starts running.

Gloyd: GO SOUTH KORE-

*SLIP*

Gloyd: AHHH!!

*THUD*

The prankster slipped on a flag and it was actually the Mongolia flag that Nougetsia was trying to find. When this happened, his shoes flung off and hit Jubi and Cit when they were fighting.

Nougetsia: Oh my mod Gloyd! You found the flag I was looking for!

Gloyd on his back in the floor: Oh yeah I totally did. *cracks his head* OW.

Nougetsia picks up the flag and said: I love Mongolia and it’s people. Especially my sister. :)

Snowanna: Awww.

Adorabeezle: What did I miss?

Snowanna: You missed out on your sisters speech.

Then the twin sisters, Jubi and Citrus pulled up and asked.

Both: WHO HIT US WHEN WE WERE HAVING OUR CAT FIGHT?!

Everyone pointed at Gloyd, he was seen in the floor, not even moving or bothering to get up. Only for him to get picked up by the twin sisters and get yelled at in Spanish. Like a mother scolding her son, it doesn’t go so easy.

Candlehead whispering to Vanellope: What are going to do with all of these flags?

Vanellope whispering back: My best bet is that we can place them in the center of our neighborhood, or probably in some big business buildings or even give them to the townsfolk.

Candlehead whispering: These ideas sound good!

Vanellope whispering: Yep I won’t let these flags go to waste, they belong in a home. Not to forget its free. So any one can get any flag of their choosing. This will do great for the community and can be a fun way to spend the rest of my week.

[broskiblurbs]

Writer's Block

Words: 610

Summary: Super short blurb of meeting a cute guy in the coffee shop. Inspired by my very own writer's block.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Writer’s block. It’s the worst. You stare at a pitch white screen and your fingers hover over the keys in anticipation to type. As soon as you think you’ve got it, you’ll type it out and suddenly, it doesn’t sound so great. You’ll hold down that god awful backspace button until you’re back at square one. Absolutely nothing. In frustration you slam your laptop shut, deciding to tackle the dragon another time. You cradle your coffee in your hands and look out the coffee shop window. 

“I still don’t know how you drink that crap,” MJ interrupts your thoughts as she slides into the booth across from you.

You give her a weak smile, “It’s good crap.”

“We literally have the worst coffee,” she says as she takes a bite of her stale doughnut.

“I don’t think your boss would appreciate saying stuff like that to a loyal customer,” you respond.

“Oh, boo-hoo,” she exclaims. You giggle at your friend’s sarcasm. 

You’ve gotten to know MJ over the summer pretty well. It was bound to happen since you came to her workplace every day and ordered coffee. She watched you tirelessly stare at your laptop as you grasp at straws for a good plotline. One day, she decided you needed a distraction and you’ve hit it off ever since. You learned that she goes to Midtown High, while you go to Forest Hills High across town.

As MJ talks about how she suspects the government is hiding something from us, there’s a chime, signaling someone has come through the door. It’s a boy, about your age it seems. He has curly chestnut brown that is tamed by some hair gel. He is stocky built with a boyish vibe to him. But that smile. It was so inviting. You believe an angel must’ve kissed him. He was the type of boy you would write about in your fanfictions. 

“Who is that?” You ask before you could even think. MJ shifts in her seat so she could see who you were referring to. 

“No way. It’s Peter Parker,” your friend calls out. Peter Parker. Sounds heavenly. It falls off the lips with ease. The sound of his name makes him perk up. Once he realizes it was MJ, he takes out his headphones and greets her.

“Hey, MJ! I didn’t know you worked today. Although it doesn’t look like you’re working.”

“Piss off. I’m on break.” He laughs. Wow. Even his laugh sounds like music. “I thought you had the Stark Internship today.” This makes snap out of fantasyland.

“No, that’s tomorrow,” he responds.

“Sorry, did you say Stark Internship?” You chime in, shyly. The two friends nod. “I’m going to be there tomorrow. I’m a new intern this year.”

“As many times as you sat in this booth, you never said anything about the Stark Internship,” MJ questions.

“Yeah, I know. I don’t like bringing it up. My mom insisted that I apply since I do so well in school. Turns out, I’m smarter than anyone thought I was.” You chuckle anxiously.

“That’s really cool. What’s your name?” Peter asks.

“Uh, Y/N L/N,” You stutter. Gosh, why do you have to be a nervous wreck.

“Jones! Back to work!” MJ’s boss hollers from the back room. She rolls her eyes in response.

“Duty calls,” MJ groans and shuffles her way back to work.

“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, ‘uh, Y/N L/N,’” he jokes and goes to order his hot chocolate. You quickly open up your laptop to hide the red in your cheeks. Could he be the next Prince Charming? Something tells you he’s going to give you a story of a lifetime.

[souperluminal]

i love your art, it reminds me of the game risk of rain 2 what are your inspirations when it comes to art and characters?

Thanks! And unbelievable, it was literally just a few days ago that I came across that game for the first time while browsing Steam's summer sale and thought, "Wow I really like this game's aesthetics, maybe I should buy it?" and today I see this. So I guess I have to buy it now!

As for inspirations, hoo boy, I guess it wouldn't be quite fair to say "everything," even though it really is the case that you can make something out of anything. I've got multiple powerpoint documents where I just store images (photos, paintings, comics, clippings of news headlines) that caught my eye enough when I first saw them that I wanted to hold onto them. And if I don't have an image of the thing that inspired me, if it was a moment I witnessed or a story I heard, I have a word document where I'll write it down.

That reminds me of a fun exercise I learned from one of my instructors where you write a list of as many things that excite and inspire you in particular as you can. Concepts, creatures, story types, color combinations, just go nuts and write everything that comes to mind. And once you've got a nice big list, pick one item from it and dig into it. Ask yourself why it excites you and what specific aspects of it draw you to it and capture your imagination. It'll help you get a deeper understanding of your own tastes so that you can bring them out to greater, more deliberate effect in your work.

Aaand I guess that doesn't quite answer the question of what inspires me in particular. Believe me it's a long list ranging from broad concepts like unlikely friendships to specific little things like black that turns blue in the light. Some of the big favorites for me are space science, animals that look alien, curious robots, and monsters that might not be what you think.

And while we're here, have a list of some of the artists that are inspiring me a lot at the moment: @modmad, @poolsofchrome, @hiziri-pro, @maximemaryblr, @juliaon, @salamispots, @doodledrawsthings, @chriskotiesen, @marionlouw, @geronimoanim, Scott Flanders, Nico Marlet, Drew Wolf, and Aurélien Predal.

[thenewfuture]

Thank you, thank you Sparks. It's been a long time coming, but we are finally done with this first arc on this blog. Which means; it's time for our very first:

ARC OVERVIEW!

Now what is an "Arc Overview", I hear you ask. An Arc Overview is where I give you the general rundown of everything in this arc; things I liked doings, things I didn't like, maybe some fun facts of things that didn't make it in, etc. With all of that out of the way, let's take dive i to the "Jabberwock Island Arc Overview"!

....

........

...............

Really? You all made it and stuck with me through this thing? Seriously? Wow... Thank you all so much. I first want to take this time and just show my gratitude for you all, for being here, supporting me and the story of this blog. It really means a lot to me.

I want to give special attention to @etriansquad-yssey, @dtgvxg, @daebreaker1, @xsuicunex2, @spyrkle4, @overanalyst556, and every anon that has been here since day 1. You all are amazing, and without you this story wouldn't have gone anywhere. So I thank you for all the support you've given me. It truly mean a lot to me in ways words can't even begin to say.

Another shout-out and thank you to is to @ghostshadow-k-r, without they didn't need to draw Kebi sprites for me, but they did, and I am eternally grateful for that. And thanks to you, our little mascot looks even more adorable!

And it's no secret that I have been inspired by Mod Bubbles, Mod Poi, and Mod Creeper's blogs of ASOOT, NWPM/DTFA, DRSurvivor respectfully, so if they see this I want to thank them again for their hardwork and for inspiring me to pursue a story blog of my own. And one more thank you to Mod Poi as well, I enjoy our talks together and your help. I really appreciate that.

But yeah, hoo wee, onto the actual arc itself. And, I feel it didn't that long at all, I mean time flew by so fast, like-

.....huh? ....Oh, I'm sorry, what? .....It's been long...like a long, long time..... W-Well, okay then....h-how long could it have been...?

A YEAR?!?!?!!?!?

That's not good.... Uh, heh heh heh......

Well, I'm sorry about that. This arc did take much longer than I was anticipating.... But with work and personal life shenanigans, as well as my mental health states, and sometimes just being not motivated or tired to work on the story did slow it down a bit...

I hope to not have this be the precedent for arcs going forward and will try my best going forward, but I think I can say the next arc won't take as long.... I hope....

Not only helped by times even I was tired of where I was in the story and just wanted to move on to the next beat because it sounded much more fun. Or simply because I forgot what I wanted to do or have characters say in certain moments.

But there was a lot I did like in this arc. I liked writing Hajime and his struggles, and the whole side arc with Mahiru was done well, I liked getting the chance to include Kebi, that was fun, and getting to show off Tenten.

But there are two big elephants we need to address, so let's do it now shall we?

Ah yes, Nagito Komaeda. Danganronpa's icon and forever meme boi. Who I am sure sparks no discourse whatsoever with his presence.........haaaa...

Writing Nagito has certainly been challenging, as you've seen I'm o the belief that not everyone should have immediately forgiven him and Nagito shouldn't be babied because of his disease and health. He is smart enough to solve the crimes or at the very least, have some suspects in mind when it comes to the class trials so he is very intelligent. And while Nagito has gotten his share of humble pie from the anons, there have also come some toxic fudge as well drizzled in there. I need not go any further for many of you to know what I'm talking about. And maybe I have mistakenly gave the impression that this kind of behavior was allowed because this arc went on for so long, but even so, there have been numerous moments where the line has been crossed.

This arc has been about characters coming to terms with their actions and striving to better somewhat, and they can't get better if they are constantly stepped down on when the attempts are honestly being made. Redemption is not an easy path for those who choose to walk it, but they also shouldn't be deliberately run over either.

But for the most part, it was pretty tame. I mean, could you imagine if there was another character like this who I may have written worse and have constant discourse battles in my ask box about this concept everytime they were on screen? Pfft! Wouldn't that be wild! Ahahaha-

Oh...it's you...... Heeeeeeeee.........Hiiiiiiiiii.......

Look, I have not hid this. Hiyoko is not my favorite character in this cast. Probably in this whole franchise. But even still, I tried to make do with Hiyoko to the best of my abilities, but as you can see, it didn't bode well with a select few.

"Unsalvageable" Many claimed Hiyoko was unsalvageable, and it's easy to see why. I will admit. I may have gone overboard with the annoying bully part of character, which as you can see brought an onslaught of dicussions and ask from her many fans or "simps" as me and Mod Poi like to address them by. And to think...this would have been so much worse...

I think it's about time I tell you all what I initially had planned for Hiyoko that would make many hate me, huh? So I'm pretty sure after Hajime's therapy and intervention session, we would just time skip to when Mikan wakes up. She has amnesia, can't remember anything, yada yada yada. All that stays the same. Except one thing; Hiyoko's there this time. And she would claim that Mikan is merely faking her amnesia. And so to prove it, Hiyoko would go see Mikan alone, bully her some more like pulling on her hair, hitting her etc, and even trying to kill her as revenge, the same way Mikan did to her. Everyone comes in just in time to stop her, then Mahiru would end her friendship with Hiyoko, and the arc would essentially end the same.

........So you can see why I dropped that, right? I'm going to claim what I rewrote was better, it was still kind of messed up, but I needed Hiyoko to truly awaken, have her eyes opened and truly reflect on what she had done. All Hiyoko does is deflect and dismiss any sort of consequence that comes her way, Hiyoko needed to be face with the reality and to stop living in her own little bubble. That was I was trying to go for with her here. And if I ever did wrong by her, then I apologize and I will try to make her better as the arcs go on.

All in all, writing this blog has been fun, stressful, calming, exhausting, exciting, and frustrating. ...But I loved doing it. And once again, I'm thankful to you all for sticking it with me this far.

I'm going to take a little break to fine tune some parts of the next arc going forward, but I also have some posts planned to stay in touch with you guys. So until then look forward to that, and I will you see you all when we return for the next arc which is...the Future Foundation Arc......

....oh god.... A-Ahem! See you all then!

-Mod

[d-parade]

transsex representation: my turn cunts

trans rep sucks so fucking much. especially for men. doesn’t help how woke transmen (or “transmasc”) characters always look like ugly emo twinks.

as a writer and story creator, i have my fair share of transsex characters. of course this isn’t their whole personality, and they actually have integral aspects outside of that. wow, shocker.

anyways, because i’m so pissy over shitty transsex men rep, i decided to make a character myself that portrays what i want to see, all while making his transsexualism a main focus of the story.

muchen (pronounced moo-kuhn). imagine the most badass, hardcore, hyper masculine person ever, with the typical japanese delinquent hairstyle, smoking a cigarette, etc. that’s how he looks. though a first year, he’s already the leader of delinquents in his school. but he has a secret he’d take to the grave. he was born with a woman’s body. and he’d do anything to bury this secret. anything.

muchen’s story is an episodic comedy series centred around battling “one of god’s many mistakes” (his words) (referring to of course, what else, do i have to say it). his goal is to “take down” anyone who knows of this secret and to prevent anyone from knowing it, with his character arc realising it isn’t something he should be so concerned/ ashamed about. and instead of harping on this aspect of himself, he should focus on other things. but this doesn’t mean he’s gna be like: yea whoop de fucking hoo, i’m transgender and proud 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

personally, this is something i would much rather see because muchen goes against the retarded stereotype of how “transmen” always look the fucking same. furthermore, it accurately shares the struggles of transsex men without falling into the woke bullshit.

but by the way he isn’t on hormones or has had surgery. his 185cm stature is from naturally tall genes + playing basketball, male body is from working out constantly, low voice from smoking all the time. his obsession with trying to look masculine enough hence becomes toxic, which creates the inner conflict he has to overcome in order to become the best version of himself.

pity that media rarely has masculine transmen. i like gekijirou (stop hibari kun) and tiger (mha) because they actually look like men but they’re such minor characters. i don’t watch western cartoons and live action series as much, but i don’t think they’re any better.

[phoenix-downer]

Enchanted Neighborhood Chapter 4

~2275 words. Sora/Kairi. Post-Canon. Family AU, SoKai Parents AU. Reunions, Fluff, Winnie the Pooh.

This is a sequel to After Ever After and Love’s Cost. There are five chapters total and the story will update weekly on Fridays.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5

Summary: Sora introduces his kids to his friends in The Hundred Acre Wood, and they make new memories together.

Haruto wasn’t sure where to look as he followed Dad, Emi, and Pooh. Having a Keyblade was awesome if it meant they got to go on adventures like this. Up ahead was that table they saw in the book, and at the table were a small pink pig, a mopey donkey, two kangaroos, a rabbit with a scowl on its face, a whistling gopher, a rambling owl, and a purple elephant. 

Cool, more talking animals. It was too bad the animals back home didn’t really talk. Guess these guys in Pooh’s world were more like Uncle Donald and Uncle Goofy than Destiny Islands creatures. 

The rabbit seemed to be scowling at a flash of orange streaking back and forth near the table. “Tigger,” he said as the streak sent everyone’s napkins flying, “stop bouncing around and—”

"The wonderful thing about Tiggers is Tiggers are wonderful things!” the orange and black-striped tiger sang as he bounced on his tail, completely ignoring the rabbit. “Their tops are made out of rubber! Their bottoms are made out of springs!”

“Tigger!” Dad cried, his eyes lighting up, and Tigger stopped bouncing. All the other animals looked at Dad, and their faces brightened and all of them but the donkey smiled. Even the donkey’s eyes got a little brighter though, so Haruto figured that was the best he could do. 

Wow, these talking animals must really, really like Dad for them to all be so happy to see him.

“Sora!” they all cried, and a moment later, Tigger sprung at Dad, knocking him over and making them both roll over the green grass. Dad’s laughter filled the air and when they finally settled, he had a big smile on his face. 

When Dad smiled like that, Haruto felt like everything was gonna be okay. Memories of when he was little and Dad seemed invincible came to mind. But seeing Dad like this really drove home that he’d been a kid once. Which meant maybe he understood all the weird teenage and growing up stuff too. 

The other animals quickly joined Tigger in greeting Dad. Dad got a whole bunch of hugs and head pats as he greeted them all. It helped that he remained on the ground so he was closer to their level. It reminded Haruto of all the times Dad had dropped to his knees to be eye level with him when he was younger. How it made him feel safer and more comfortable. 

“Piglet!” Dad cried. “Rabbit! Kanga and Roo! Gopher! Owl and Lumpy! And Eeyore too! It’s so good to see everyone again.” 

Dad really was good at this stuff, wasn’t he? No wonder he had so many friends. 

“It’s s-so good to see you again t-too, S-Sora,” Piglet said, his little pink face beaming. Dad giggled and lifted Piglet up with ease. 

“Oh man, is it good to see you again, Piglet! You haven’t gotten blown away by any strong breezes recently, have you?” 

Piglet shook his head. “N-No. P-Pooh has kept me very g-grounded.” 

Dad carefully set Piglet down. “Good, glad to hear it. And Rabbit, how are your vegetables doing?”

“There are good days and there are bad days,” Rabbit said. “Maybe they’d grow better if someone stopped bouncing through my fields.” He gave Tigger a pointed look, but Tigger just said hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo and kept bouncing. Did Tigger ever stop bouncing?

“And your tunnels Gopher?” Dad asked. “How are those going?”

“Same as ever, sonny,” Gopher whistled. He dug into the ground to demonstrate, and Dad commented on how awesome his digging was. Again, Haruto was impressed by how Dad knew exactly what to say to his friends. It wasn’t at all like how goofy and awkward Dad could be back home. 

“Owl?” Dad asked next. “How are your relatives?” 

Owl cleared his throat and puffed out his chest. “I’m glad you asked. My Uncle Albert recently went to sea again, and…”

The other animals groaned, and Owl rambled on for a good couple of minutes about Uncle Albert’s misadventures before Dad politely shut him down and turned to the elephant. “Lumpy? How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been great, thank you, Sora,” Lumpy happily trumpeted, and Dad smiled and patted Lumpy’s head. 

“Eeyore?” Dad asked the donkey next.

“My house got knocked over again,” Eeyore replied, his voice dull and lifeless. 

Dad scratched his cheek, a pained smile on his face. “Oh, sorry to hear that.” That was definitely his ‘this is an awkward situation and I don’t really know what to say’ look, but he was trying.

“Don’t be,” Eeyore replied, “it’s probably my fault anyway.” 

Dad didn’t say anything to that, just turned to the two kangaroos. “Kanga? Roo? You doing okay?”

“Better than ever!” Roo said, his little face beaming as he bounced up and down much like Tigger.

“It’s good to see you again, Sora,” Kanga said. “And who are these people with you?”

Dad’s smile got really big, but before he could say anything, Pooh interrupted. “They’re Sora’s children. Sora’s a father.” 

“That’s right,” Sora said, beaming proudly at the three of them. “These are my kids. Kairi and I got married, and I’m a father now. This is Emi, our youngest,” he said, ruffling Emi’s hair. Emi giggled and beamed up at Dad. “She’s eight years old now and very good at hide-and-seek. You’ll have to challenge her to a round.” 

“Yes!” Emi cried. “I’d love to play hide-and-seek!” 

“We can play after tea,” Rabbit said amiably. 

Dad looked to Miyu next, and she cleared her throat and introduced herself. “Oh, I’m Miyu. I’m fifteen, and, um, I like reading books and playing tag?” she offered. The animals all greeted her politely and promised to supply storybooks and play tag after tea.

“Guess it’s my turn,” Haruto said. “My name’s Haruto, and I’m Sora’s son. I like running, painting, and guessing games.” He grinned as the animals greeted him. Was he proud to be Dad’s son? Yeah, yeah he was. And it wasn’t just because Dad was cool now. No, ever since Mom had told them what Dad did for her and then Dad had nearly died saving them, Haruto could deal with a few dorky Dad-isms because Dad was a good guy. And seeing him today, he could see why Dad was so well-loved. 

“Well, shall we?” Pooh asked, gesturing towards the table. The group took their seats, and Miyu was on Haruto’s left and Dad was on his right. To Dad’s right was Emi, and the animals were seated at various other spots at the table. 

Eeyore, who was seated on Miyu’s left, gave her a morose look. “Sorry you have to sit next to me,” he told her in a flat, lifeless tone. 

“Oh, it’s okay,” Miyu replied. She looked at Haruto, clearly trying not to giggle, and he just shrugged.

“Here, dears, have some tea,” Kanga said as she carefully poured them all cups of tea. Roo added cream for them, and Gopher dropped a few sugar cubes in as Owl stirred with one of his claws grasping a spoon. Pooh dropped lumps of honey into the tea with plenty of helpings for himself in between, and Tigger bounded around singing about how delicious a good afternoon tea was. Lumpy used his trunk to carefully place the cups of tea and little plates of cookies in front of them, and Haruto tried to be on his best behavior. Really though he had to sneak a lot of looks at Miyu to remember all those obscure rules Mom and Dad had tried to teach them about fancy dinners and afternoon tea. 

The conversation was lively and the cookies and tea were pretty good. Presently, Dad asked him, “You having fun?” in a low voice. Dad’s eyes were bright and he was taking in everything around them like an eagle watching a field. 

“Yeah, I am.” Haruto said, then frowned. Dad was clearly having fun. A lot of fun seeing friends he hadn’t seen in ages. Haruto thought about his conversation with Miyu earlier. How much fun and how many old friends had Dad given up for their family? 

Of course Dad noticed something was up. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he said under his breath as he reached for his spoon.

“I’m fine,” Haruto said, then caught himself. Nah, he wasn’t fine, he had something on his mind, and it would hurt Dad to push him away. “Um, it’s nothing bad, I just have some stuff I want to ask you. Can we talk about it later?”

Dad’s expression softened. “Sure.” 

The tea party was fun, and Owl regaled them with story after story of his aunts and cousins and uncles and other relatives until Tigger challenged them all to a bouncing match. When they were all bounced out, they took a brief break and then played hide-and-seek and tag. Once they were worn out from that, they returned to the table to read storybooks, paint, and play guess who games. Miyu and Emi both giggled when Dad put on one of those goofy sets of glasses with a fake mustache, and Haruto cracked a grin too. 

Dad laughed and ruffled his hair. It was funny how Dad was just a little shorter than him now but was still acting so Dad-like. “See, the secret to being cool is being willing to make a complete fool of yourself,” he said, gesturing to his goofy glasses. “It’s when you care too much what other people think that you’ll have a hard time.” 

“But you care what we think,” Miyu pointed out.

Dad’s expression softened, and he took off the glasses. “Of course I do. You’re my kids, and I love you with all my heart.” 

Man, didn’t Dad ever get embarrassed about so openly admitting to stuff like that? But he wasn’t embarrassed, he was smiling like he really meant what he said. And Haruto knew he did. Maybe that was why he could say he loved them so easily, so openly.

“We love you too,” Miyu mumbled, her face red, and Haruto nodded.

“We do!” Emi cried. “You’re the bestest Daddy.” 

Dad smiled, but a moment later, a tear ran down his cheek. He started and then chuckled as he wiped his face. “This again, huh? I guess no matter what age I’m still a softie.” He rubbed the back of his neck, smiling awkwardly. 

“You are,” Haruto agreed, “But that’s okay.” It would be weirder if Dad didn’t wear his heart on his sleeve.

“And you shouldn’t change,” Miyu said quietly. “Don’t ever change, okay?”

Dad’s eyes softened. “I won’t. No matter what I look like, I’m still me.” He rested his hand over his heart as if to prove it.

Emi grinned, a mischievous spark in her eyes, and Dad raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Wait till Mommy sees you!”

Dad laughed. “Oh man, she’s gonna be in for the shock of her life. Seeing me like this again, I wonder what she’ll say.” He rested his hand on his chin as he thought about it.

Lumpy’s big ears perked up. “How’s Kairi? Is she doing okay?”

“She’s doing great,” Dad said. “She’s pregnant again, but once the baby’s born, I’ll bring her to visit, I promise.” 

At this revelation, Dad’s friends all cheered and celebrated and congratulated him. Dad couldn’t stop smiling, and it made Haruto excited about meeting his younger brother too. Another younger sister would be cool, but Haruto just had this hunch he was gonna have a younger brother, and he couldn’t wait to meet him.

When Emi was busy playing with Dad’s friends some more, he pulled Haruto and Miyu aside to a nearby creek with a grassy riverbank. 

“Is now a good time to talk?” he asked. “I can tell you both have something on your minds.”

Haruto looked at Miyu, and then they both nodded. The three of them sat down, and Dad took his shoes and socks off and let his feet soak in the cold water. Haruto and Miyu joined him, and Haruto wasn’t really sure how to start. Thankfully, Miyu spoke up.

“It’s just that… meeting your old friends, we’re realizing how much you had to give up for us. For our family.”

“Yeah,” Haruto said. “And also, you were really young when everything happened. I guess in my mind you were always eternally ‘Dad,’ but today I fully realized you were just a kid when a lot of your adventures happened.” 

“I was,” Dad said softly, “and it’s why Mom and I wanted you guys to have a normal childhood. And having a family was something we both wanted. I won’t lie and pretend it wasn’t an adjustment, but you’re our greatest adventure, and we wouldn’t change a thing about our family.”

He smiled and put his arms around each of them. Emi joined in too, giving Dad a hug from behind, and soon all of Dad’s animal friends had joined in. The group sat at the creek and chatted and had fun until the sun sank low in the sky. At that point Haruto felt a strange tingling in his arms and legs, and he looked at Miyu to see if she felt the same thing. The expression on her face told him that yeah she did. 

“Guess it’s time to go,” Dad said as he started fading in and out too. “Pooh, Tigger, Rabbit, Piglet, Eeyore, Kanga, Roo, Gopher, Owl, Lumpy, we’ll be back soon, okay?”

A chorus of agreement sounded out, and Dad grinned. “And next time, I’ll bring Kairi too!” 

With that they felt themselves being swept out of the book.

[starburstsobsessions]

Rangers apprentice is weird man. Like the first four books I flew through SO fucking fast because they were truly this amazing well written exciting great experience trying and aspiring to be something better. Then . Book 5. So much changes. I’ve just got things on my mind

Book 5. Everything changed here.

Rangers apprentice book 1-4 actively was showing a fictional “fantasy historical” misogynistic society and showing how the main women are dealing with that and how they are persevering and are able to aim for high status outside of just royalty. The women are high profile diplomats and go on their own missions and in due time save the male protagonists (who are shown to respect them about as much as a ya boy targeted fantasy guy is going to). Evanlyn literally rescues will from death and lives in the worst elements thus far for months ALONE and having to take care of will and his survival ALONE. She does that! She sneaks on a ship to gain information ALONE she even orders the archer line !!! and she is shown to be truly powerful.

Lady Pauline and Alyss are both powerful diplomats with cunning words and are displayed as the highest of their order. They both are revered and put on a pedestal by the protagonists and are just as well powerful and treated as such.

and. And then book 5. It’s like a whole different series after book 5.

The writing changes. The characters change. The way background characters are portrayed changes. It isn’t heartwarming anymore.

Everything changes in 5-6, which should be a good thing but it isn’t. The characters respect is dropped. Will becomes some kind of instant disrespectful ladykiller as opposed to who he was. He’s a little bitch! Alyss gets kidnapped and mind controlled instantly and her role is merely damsel in distress who is also causing friction between Will and other women. What???? Huh??? It irked me so bad!

Book 7? Hoo boy. It’s not a fan fav. It started as if it was going to be great! And then it . Wasn’t. Were my expectations too high? A prequel was definitely the right idea but there was also ... so many wrong ideas it was just kinda... ehhhhhhhhhh idkkkkk

book 8 was WELL written again (though DEF with flaws, once again with the female characters) and it got my hopes up once again 😳 it was thrilling and the lines were powerful and the characters felt right again. That seemed like the downfall though.

book 9 was. Extremely boring. Pointless even. It had no real agenda. Tennyson could easily have been defeated at the end of book 8 and it would have been SO much more satisfying. Book 9 was genuinely pointless filler chock full of sad repeated jokes and not much else. What even was book 9???? Like it had a few fun things that could have been great. If it weren’t all thrown together for a page count.

I’m not done with book 10, and I’ve been dealing with a lot lately so it’s been hard to focus when I have been reading, but... it def isn’t there either. There’s no heart there’s no merit. More looping bad jokes and travel filler while the woman and suddenly being demoted out of their positions by like, Halt.

and like. Idk what everyone else thinks it just kinda bothers me. I bought them all after reading 4 because I went WOW this series is AMAZING I’m IN LOVE and I do have a ton of fun with it, I just wish things were different. That’s why fanfic exists I guess 🧍 ANYWAY don’t come after me rangers apprentice fandom I’m right!!!!

[deepperplexity]

PLEX! Clearview Cove maam ????  Break out the sparkling grape juice and chocolate because oh my are we going to be here for a while!!! I- just there are so many things I can say (and I will don’t worry) but honestly a few fitting words would be, amazing, captivating, startling, and just down right lovely (don’t forget heart stirring) Now onward to me rambling and screaming :D

Characters:

First of all Kate😭. Sweet Kate I just want to hug her and tell her all is going to be well because wow, the amount of shit that she had to endure with her ex is absolutely heartbreaking. Some of the things you mentioned especially when it was about her size and him attacking her about these things had me :”(. It made me tear up a bit and I’m so happy that she found a partner in Ray who believed she was absolutely perfect regardless of her size. I know there were also so many other horrible things that he who shall not be named did to her but this really resonated and also her retail therapy coping mechanism hoo boi. Just the amount of strength she had to escape multiple times even if the first attempts didn’t pan out is just amazing and it was a bit heartbreaking when she realized that she would actually be okay with dying as long if that meant she didn’t have to go back and I just 🥺. Also I chuckled but also wept a little when even though she was half passed out she was ready to molly wop Ray with a candle holder.

Okay okay now Ray I just 😩😩I would like to know all of the folks you were thinking about when creating him because I was just like 👀👀👀 where, who , how, and can I get one?  His initial description had me like 🤔 🤔 🤔 and I lowkey thought of a person that I scribbled on the page but that’s neither here nor there. Such a grump with a heart of gold and his back story and his lost loved again made me go 🥺🥺 (you sure know how to make hearts wabble don’t you!). Everything about him is just so good and lovely even with his shield. And his inner thoughts and monologues when he meets Kate and such are so funny and I love how that contrasts with his outer sternness. The way he wants to protect Kate even though he is just meeting her, and the way he gets angry at her for putting herself in danger it’s just everything maam. And the little things of moving her shoes for her, cooking for her how angry he gets when he learns of her abuse I just it’s too much for my soft sooooul. But also not him leaving his rifle both times when it was needed like sir get it together lol.

Now both of them!!!! I just they were meant for each other. The hurt they both suffered the way they just match yet fit with each other just like a puzzle piece. I just love love love the age gap trope you know that ahah and just the way he wanted to protect her and the way she wanted to help soothe his hurt even if she didn’t know what it was and it was everything Plex🥺🥺🥺 And the smut girl the smut, it was so sweet and intense and the way they were basically enamored with each other from the beginning and how he was like ‘no I’ll only touch you if you verbally say it’ CONSENT KING is what Kate deserves and needs and he gave it to her and soooobbs I just love how it flowed so well with the story like it wasn’t the main thing but it tied the pieces up so well a nice little treat that accentuated an already interesting story😭😭🥺 Then the I love you’s!!! Crying, sobbing, screaming. OH ALSO WHEN SHE WAS LIKE YOUR EYES ARE BROWN and he was like :D? I laughed and thought it was so cute. I love the funny moments that were sprinkled in between even with the circumstances!

Okay but wait! We can’t forget the good girl Stella!!! I love her!! German Shepherds are one my faves and everytime she appeared I was like give her pats 🤩🤩. And her wiggle and waggles haha I got so excited and how she just loved Kate from the get go. Doggo sensed that she needed protecting and love and I just 🥺🥺 But then when Stella got injured and then the sudden cliff hanger I gasped and was like oh shit John Wick part 5 let me throw hands to???? Honestly the end of chapter 12 and then chapter 13 had me like ahah here it is the other shoe dropping things were going to well and was just waiting for stuff to pop off. And they sure did :”D

Oh and finally he who shan’t be name. fuck him the way I way I cheered at his ending like yea eat his ass up we love to see it that’s all that shall be said.

Quotes: And of course you know I had to give you just a few of my favorite quotes because I highlighted a bunch of them but here have four lol

“I’m going to fucking bust”

That just made me laugh straight up. Like I know she is struggling but I’m sorry that tickled me.

“You make me feel small..”…”No I love it I’ve never felt small”.

Girl maam. You know I love this. I feel like I don’t have to elaborate to just have to make you feel protective and consumed with loved and jfc (when will I have this the yearning Plex THE YEARNING!!)

“Then again you’re young and life is a long adventure” “An adventure I would like to share with you”

My heart can’t take it. I love them I need them to be together forever.

“I didn’t like big open spaces….hated the giant wall-sized windows that allowed every neighbour to see right through the house.”

Okay this had me like was this written on purpose (I’m sure it was) and had me like oh, because even though she lived in such a see through house no one could see the abuse that was happening :”| and that just had me like wow.

My view was finally clear

I see what you did there. And I fucking love it.

TLDR: Everything about this story was so good. The characterization, the way folks reacted to things that made sense (ex Kate’s reaction to the gunshot and her trauma), the description of just everything?? From the environment to the emotions that hurt me at times ahaha. The relationship these two (three if you count Stella because she is family of course) built in 140 pages was amazing and just sweet and the way they were protective and supportive of each other in their own ways even though they had just met just had me like🥺🥺😭 because then they just absolutely melted for each other (it do be cold in the mountains) no matter the walls they had up to protect them

Emoji Summary: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😡😡🤔😂🙂🥴🥵😥😭😍😍🥰🥰🥰 (just a range of feeling I had reading)

I loved this and I’m sorry for talking so much lol I hope all of this is coherent but this was just so damn good and I’m excited for more of your original works!! Gives you all the hugs!!

P.S the way you have formatted everything you did such a great job???!

Bonus Part Because I'm Nosy:

The names Ana and Sarah! Did you pick them because they were common names and no one is gonna be like huh?

Also the clearing of doors from shoes and such was it Ray’s military training, the fire ptsd or something else? I was lowkey thinking that it was going to end up being a plot point!

Girl you weren't kidding about me needing to grab a drink and settle in - WHAT ON EARTH IS THIS GIANT THING?! 😱😂👏👏👏

And first of all, THANK YOU! I am so so so happy you loved Clearview Cove - for those wanting Clearview Cove for free simply join my newsletter HERE and get your copy - but this "...even though she was half passed out she was ready to molly wop Ray with a candle holder..." had me fucking cackling 😂 It's one of my fav scenes in the entire thing 😂👌So glad you adored Kate and resonated with her, that means so much and at the same time I am so sorry love 👀😅❤

Now, Ray... hooo boy... I LOVE HIM. And he's not made while thinking of any one specific person even if I of course drew inspiration from several ppl as one always does but he's mostly just himself and not a concoction of other ppl. Basically, my vision of a grump with a slightly comedic heart made for caring 🥰 and this "...and I lowkey thought of a person that I scribbled on the page..."?! WHO?! Let me know girl! I'm curious af now 😂

I adore them together and I'm so happy you saw all the little things tying them together - it's often the little things that I find interesting and what matters the most to me when I write couples - and these two were absolutely made for each other, they are salvation to one another and I absolutely love how they have entirely different backstories, personalities, traits etc but still have a few things that are the same (like music taste) yet their trauma matches up even if the causes are entirely different (patting myself don't the back a little here, one is supposed to do that - right?)

oh, oh, and this "...OH ALSO WHEN SHE WAS LIKE YOUR EYES ARE BROWN and he was like :D? I laughed and thought it was so cute. I love the funny moments that were sprinkled in between even with the circumstances!..." YAS!!! 😂😂😂 I went for a little more hidden comedy in this book and it was so much fun 🥰

"...Oh and finally he who shan’t be name. fuck him the way I way I cheered at his ending like yea eat his ass up we love to see it that’s all that shall be said..." <- You'll love the second edition even more then 👀 I'm currently working on it along with huge news I'm releasing in my newsletter this Sunday (2023-02-26) 😍💌

I'm so so so very thankful for this thick review and lowkey smiling too widely over here... So glad you thought I managed to do well with all of it in such a short span of words/pages - you know how hard that is for me 😂👍 And love the quotes you picked! ❤

I've done everything on this book, from writing it to the cover to the formatting and I gotta admit I'm quite pleased with it - did you see the bonus material? The floorplan and playlists too? 👀🥰

Because you're curious about my thoughts on the matters: - Yeah, just common names but I've also always loved the name Sarah ^^ - Both his military training and PTSD, he's also a very organized guy in general except when his brain malfunctions because of his emotions, then the idiot runs out of his house without bringing his rifle 😂😂😂