xotrashratxo

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the weather is so gross and humid right now and it makes everything yucky and sticky and I hate it

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In the bed straight up eep’n it. And by it, haha. lets just say, honnnnkkk shoooo hoonnnkkk shoooooo

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every single person who reblogs this

every

single

person

will get “doot doot" in their ask box

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Every day I think about Money from Cabaret (Alan Cumming edition) and I go “mm. the economy.”

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is it mental illness if I feel connected on a personal level to worlds and people who don’t exist, asking for a friend???

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me when I read THAT part of the secret history

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I was thinking about gym class.

I had convinced myself I was bad at it, like so many other kids who didn’t participate in recreational sports. It was how they made friends and socialized. 

I didn’t like gym class. I picked my high school based on the fact that I could take dance instead, an effort I pursued and was repeatedly told by my peers that it was not a sport. I refused to believe this, as I’d get just as sweaty in dance class as I did playing soccer in the gymnasium. 

I think that was something else I didn’t like about gym class. My peers. They were loud and boisterous and enthusiastic, in gym class and out. They were obnoxious and crude, mean and cruel. Maybe it was a fact of middle school, where I most closely remember gym class, but I associated gym class with my perpetual struggle of fitting in. 

Like most of my peers, I wanted to fit in somewhere. Unlike the rest, I was unapologetically myself. People called me weird; their parents thought I did drugs (I did not). I was a weird art kid drawing eyeballs and flowers and abstract lines. 

I was usually picked last in gym class. 

I had one gym teacher who was significantly better than the rest. He was short and bald and always called me by my older sister’s name, which was entirely confusing because another girl in my class had the same name with a different spelling. He was kind of cringey and overly energetic. 

One time I got hit in the head with a basketball, and I lost an earring. I asked to go to the locker room to put the other one away. He stopped the whole class and had every single person look for my earring until it was found. 

But he was also incredibly reassuring, to every kid. We ran the mile twice a year, once in fall and again in spring. I always had a slow run. I capped off my 8th grade gym class career with a 20 minute mile. 

He told everyone good job. Including myself. Including the girls who walked the mile. Including the football boys who ignored him at the end of the track. 

It’s never occurred to me how much that changed my life. That one person. I still didn’t enjoy gym class, but it did make me feel better to know that someone, anyone, thought I was good at something I doubted myself in. I did 60 sit ups that year for the pacer test, more than the kid who was not only shorter than me at 14 but also asked me out as a joke. 

I was thinking about gym class. Loud, sweaty, annoying as all hell gym class. I keep thinking about how there are so many people who have changed my life without either of us realizing it. Teachers, friends, even strangers I’ve seen on the street. I always forget the impacts we have on each other. 

I was thinking about gym class. 

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I wanna feel joy from media again. not just the need to dissect and look at metaphors and symbolism and parallels and shit. I understand it’s kinda hypocritical cause something I love is dissecting meaning and parallels (I just did it in a recent post) but GOD. I WANNA FEEL JOY AGAIN. I WANNA WATCH A MOVIE AND GO “wow that was so much fun!” NOT SIT FOR AN HOUR DISSECTING WHAT SOMEONE’S SHIRT COLOR MEANT.

I do enjoy all that aspect of media consumption. I just wanna be able to recognize that I enjoyed media (books, movies, theatre, etc.) without needing to express the deeper ideas it included or being incredibly depressed. I just wanna have the simplest form of enjoying entertainment again.

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the fact that we’re rapidly transforming as a society into the hunger games:

Spectacle as distraction from the horrible things in the world

avant garde fashion steadily growing among celebrities

people supporting dictators who are genuinely hurting thousands of people

the general public of the Capitol caring more about the possibility of Katniss having a fetus in her than the fact that she’s 17 and being sent to death in the quarter quell

the sexualization of teenagers for profit and children growing up too quickly thanks to social media/television/spectacles

people trying to help save the world being branded as traitors and the ‘true villains’ in politics

the general public having to choose between the lesser of two evils in an attempt for positive progress (and that not even working)

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☆

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ALSO the “love interest” was bland as hell and got rapey towards the end and I’m like was that really needed???

also fear street: prom queen was mega disappointing. It was giving old slasher in the sense of weaker characters but epic kills and gore, and the story was really cheesy to me. The SFX were really good though. For the 80s, all of the main characters had FLAT ASF hair and bad costuming. Like the MAIN CHARACTERS were giving 2010s when they were supposed to be giving 1988. There was basically no connection to the original trilogy other than the setting being Shadyside and a STICKER IN A BATHROOM of Sarah Fier. It kind of gave “we tacked the Fear Street name on this movie to try and boost it” Overall, the only enjoyable part was what SEEMED like the practical effects. Like it was just really disappointing.

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Still thinking about Ruth’s “I used to dance ☹️” in the bbq monologues song going on 2 years later

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also fear street: prom queen was mega disappointing. It was giving old slasher in the sense of weaker characters but epic kills and gore, and the story was really cheesy to me. The SFX were really good though. For the 80s, all of the main characters had FLAT ASF hair and bad costuming. Like the MAIN CHARACTERS were giving 2010s when they were supposed to be giving 1988. There was basically no connection to the original trilogy other than the setting being Shadyside and a STICKER IN A BATHROOM of Sarah Fier. It kind of gave “we tacked the Fear Street name on this movie to try and boost it” Overall, the only enjoyable part was what SEEMED like the practical effects. Like it was just really disappointing.

[xotrashratxo]

I’m a baby horror fan and I’ve known about CryptTV on YouTube for a while. Does anyone know about any beginner friendly short films or series they have that I can start with or do I just need to jump in?

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on one hand, fashion and music can be separated, despite both influencing each other for decades on end. If someone wears a band tee just because they like the design, they should be able to without someone saying they’re a fake fan or asking them to name three songs.

on the other hand, people who say that Nirvana is a brand not a band (unironically) and refuse to listen to anyone trying to help them out just because of that one hot pink sweater REALLY grinds my gears like you don’t have to know everything about Nirvana but at LEAST know it’s a band even if you don’t listen to them like omgggg

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Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes) by Edison Lighthouse was one of the songs written for/about/by Daisy Jones before she started recording her own music.

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bro I need to find joyous media cause everything I watch has been putting me through emotional turmoil