pettitfour-blog

[lazylama9]

You know, sometimes I feel like I don't have an opinion in some very important topics anymore. Cuz there are so many people who say stuff on internet and it's so polarizing. I don't know what of it is true or sometimes if it's okay or too radical. And it's so frustrating for me... Maybe it's a part of life but it's like I can't decide whether I am basically a good person in my mind. Like if my opinions are based on true facts or it's just some lies and biases that I grew up with and believe in only because of that. It's very confusing for me...

[vermillioncrown]

reread dbd for the nth time and I don't know how to put into words how much this fic means to me. I'm not sure if I've ever read an isekai that spoke to me so much. I love the worldbuilding especially and all the authors notes at the end of chapters. I relate a lot to how zyx feels about gender and identity, and this fic helped me get through some tough times too. (sorry, I'm not sure how to articulate all the feelings I have...)

(pt 2) I usually leave anon messages (<- anxiety... I've left a lot of anon messages before) but I thought I'd drop an actual message this time since this month marks 3 years since I first read dbd, and that's a long time for something that hit so close and feels so dear. I really, really love dbd. in other news, I hope you're doing well.

first off, the action of sending such a sincere message is its own message, so no need to worry about articulating everything. thank you very much!

in terms of technical skill, dbd isn't my most polished writing, but by nature of its canon material + pov it is the closest to me as SI and author. that closeness means it's able to be more introspective on the topics that will always matter to me (gender, identity, culture, etc) and fits with my belief that a sincere SI fic is one that helps the author self-actualize. even wish fulfillment requires honesty on what wish you want fulfilled, right? where i am, my SI fics are less about the wish fulfillment and more the meta-wish of "what actually fits with me as i am, not me as i envy/lack?"

(tbh the backdrop of identity as a performance, be it gender or culture or what have you, is always at the background of my SI fics bc it's me. can't run away from myself, right?)

knowing that dbd means something to you, personally, beyond just "fun fic!" is such a fulfilling thought. i wrote dbd because nothing spoke to me to that extent, and surely i wasn't alone in how i felt and navigated the world? and yeah, i'm not, and the readers i've interacted with over the years of posting are proof of that.

thank you again, i understand the ask anxiety so i'm grateful you came off anon to write this. hopefully, i'll feel the itch to get back to dbd soon (i write on whim, and it's not because i don't know what comes next that i'm not posting lol 😅) i'm doing well enough, next part of my life, and i hope the same for you as well. may you continue to survive your tough times, if they must come.

[brandwhorestarscream]

Have you got any hcs you give to different frame types like in behaviours or habits and culture. Like miners, warframe.seekers, praxian etc.

I always find it so hard to find other world building lore and hcs on other frame types. Usually only seeker stuff which I love. Just don’t know anything about grounders.

Oh and if you know any places I can find some please recommend them. :]

I've been holding onto this ask for a little while and I really wanna do it well but. All I have concretely are seeker thoughts (._. )

Sooo time to wing it and talk about the few things that I do have! I could talk to you about the entire political sphere of Vos and the intricacies of its independent society, but... I don't have near as much detail and planning for any of the other cities. I guess the only ones that come close are Polyhex and Crystal City, but that's not what we're here for

I'm rambling. I'll stop now. ANYWAY. Thoughts about warframes... 🤔 admittedly these may not be very spicy, but have some more homey ones, typically set in the context before or void of their oppression:

- Warframes in general are very touchy but private people. Under unfamiliar eyes they may seem cold and apathetic or even disdainful, but in a comfortable social context they're actually rather tactile. Not just in the very tender ways seen among close family, but I'm more playful, heavy ways among friends. Many activities were social for them, and they tend to form strong bonds with their groups and clans. Bathing was one of the most common social activities, helping wash each other's backs and preening transformation seams.

- Frametypes best suited for mining really, really enjoy a good cave so long as it's not functioning as a prison. Many of them have very sensitive optics, meant to see in near complete darkness, so strobe lights or particularly bright sunshine will have them flinching back before their vision adjusts. Yoo long in too bright light can cause optic strain or even migraines, if they're unlucky. Caves are the perfect remedy for that, and most miners really love a dark, personalized place with natural walls on all sides and a ceiling above them. Perfect, dark, safe den

- Next is the Praxians. My most outstanding idea for them is that their chevrons and doorwings are very important sensory organs. Their wings function almost like a second pair of optics, reading changes in the wind and the airspace behind them, giving them a much more articulate awareness yo their surroundings than most. On the other side, their chevrons are very sensitive, packed with nearly 3x the normal amount of sensory nodes compared to the rest of their bodies. With it they can detect changing moisture or gases in the air, as well as more acutely hone in on scents and temperature changes. In Praxian families, the most intimate form of greeting or comfort is to press one's forehead against another's, letting their chevrons line up and gently touch. Done right, it can stimulate warmth and calm just as holding something warm in your hands can, and to touch someone's chevron without their position is the gravest insult

Sorry there's not more of these! I tried my best, so I hope you were at least a little entertained 😅 if you wanna chat more about any of these, you know where to find me ^-^

[gffa]

Sorry in advance if this is an incoherent ramble, but I have Thoughts about the Jedi and emotional regulation I want to share with you, if it's okay.

So I have ADHD and pretty strong emotional disregulation that I really, really struggle with. In my late teens/early twenties I was convinced that my emotions, all of them, were inherently destructive and harmful to others because of how intense they are.

My favorite Star Wars character is Anakin and I think you can guess why 😅. I don't really like admitting it but I understand him and relate to him sooo much.

Okay here's the relevant part: I love the Jedi Order's teachings about mindfulness and emotional control. So often I do feel ruled by my emotions! I can so easily see how embracing that leads to the dark side, and I know that staying in the light really is a constant battle against one's own darkness because I've done that! Without the psychic/telekinetic powers, obviously, but honestly it's a good thing I can't accidentally fling objects around the room if I get upset. I've often wished the Jedi Order was real and I could be part of it just so I could learn to better control my emotions.

It's why I just don't get the argument that Jedi "repress" their emotions. Where does that even come from? They have such sensible responses to such stressful situations. And unbridled unregulated emotion is NOT a good thing, as I know far too well. The Sith don't practice "emotional freedom" or whatever those people call it. With my disregulation problems I'm not "free," I'm even more shackled by it. I hate it and I want to control it- which is what the Jedi practice.

Anyway, just wanted to share my point of view on that whole debate. I also just want to say thanks for running this blog! I adore your meta posts and I love your unending Jedi positivity. You're definitely my favorite Star Wars blog. You're so good at articulating analyses that I can see for myself in the text but am terrible at putting into words lol. I'm sorry that your popularity attracts so many people who want to argue with you or be nasty. I hope you know how happy you make us fellow Jedi-supporters. 😊

Hi!  This ask was from before today’s discussion on the Force and emotions (here and here), so it’s good timing to come across it in my drafts again! You and I are in a similar boat--I relate to Anakin the most, too.  And I had a lot of years in my life without a solid grasp on my emotions, where my anger was entirely justifiable, but it was absolute misery and cost me a lot of time and relationships with people.  In the moment, it felt good to lash out with that anger, but I was consumed by it, that’s all I was so much of the time, and it really, really was not good to let my emotions run rampant that way.  So, I understand and I’m sorry that you’ve gone through that and I’m glad you seem like you’re in a better place now. While the Jedi may not be real, thankfully a lot of the same ideas totally are, like Buddhism is real, different kinds of therapy techniques are real, we absolutely can learn to regulate our emotions, even if it’s really hard.  You could probably even do a Google search for “how to learn to regulate my emotions” and find some good starting places! I can’t speak for any part of fandom, especially one I’m not part of, but I suspect that a lot of the “Jedi repress emotions” thing comes from a conflict of how mainstream media almost always supports the idea that emotions fuel powers, that if you tap into your anger or any other intense emotion, you’ll get a major power-up and you can save the day with it.  Think of almost any major display of power in a superhero movie and it’s usually because the character just had an explosion of emotion, right?  Because their control on their temper finally snapped or because they suddenly became tunnel-visioned about who they needed to save.  It’s everywhere. Star Wars, in contrast, says:

But we’re primed to think emotional regulation is suppression.  We’re primed to think that it’s not being true to ourselves, that we’re chaining a part of ourselves up.  We’re primed to think that any kind of sacrifice or concession to the greater society is suppression of the self. So, along come the Jedi who say, “Actually, emotional regulation is good.  Sometimes you do have to sacrifice things to make the world better, but the selfness love for other people is worth it.” we’re primed to think they’re suppressing themselves and living half-lived lives. But that’s not true for the worldbuilding in Star Wars.  Individualism is not king in Star Wars.  Selflness and care for others and the willingness to understand that life is impermanent and we have to let go of things are the core themes. And you’re absolutely right--one of Lucas’ themes in Star Wars is, "Most of my movies are about the fact that you're in that little place, it's the little prison in your brain—the door's open but you can't leave. But all you have to do is walk out and say, 'Hey! I'm gonna do this.'” (Sundance Q&A, 2015) and  “All of my movies are about one thing.  Which is the fact that the only prison you’re in is the prison of your mind.  And if you decide to open the door and get out, you can.  There’s nothing stopping you.“ (American Voices, 2015) The dark side is a prison in your mind, one you’re trapping yourself into.  You’re not free, your emotions are ruling you.  They control you because you can’t stop yourself from screaming or lashing out or destroying things in your rage, you can’t stop from saying hurtful things to the people you care about.  That’s not freedom, that’s being dragged along in the wake of your own unchecked feelings.  It’s a dark pit that you have to decide to climb out of. And the Jedi echo that theme:     "You said we would be trapped."     "Not by the cave you were but by your mind. Lessons, you have learned. Find courage, you did.  Hope, patience. Trust, confidence, and selflessness." --Yoda, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, “The Gathering”

[wickedworm]

hey all! i know its been a minute but i was writing this little cringe ass blurb and havent finished it. i got some inspiration from the lovely @golden-gypsy after she sent me an ask nearly a year ago 😅 this has been living in my drafts for a while. im not sure if ill finish it unforunately. things have been weird and ive been going through my adhd cycle of interests where i dump the last one and move onto the next. anyway, enjoy whatever the hell this is.

December, 1994

Jerry

This is fucking pathetic. It's midnight, it's freezing, and I'm alone on the street, calling my wife on a payphone.

I stood out in the freezing Seattle cold, clutching a payphone as I called my wife. I wanted to laugh at myself for how pitiful it all seemed. I've barely talked to her - shit, I haven't even seen her since I went to Oklahoma. We talked on the phone but I never had much to say. And I didn't really know what to say. But I thought about her. I thought about her all the fucking time. And I would've actually talked to her, made that effort, had I felt worthy of it. I didn't deserve it. It wasn't fair to her. I needed to get my shit together.

When I came back to Washington, I tried to give Raven - and myself - plenty of time. I didn't want to go home right away, I wanted to try to get back into the swing of things. I set up some dates to write and rehearse with Sean and Mike. When that all fell through, I got pretty discouraged. I went from motel to motel, couch to couch, trying to write some of my own stuff. I was pretty much living in my car for that whole week. And I just wrote. A lot. I wrote about everything, but especially her. It felt like I would never stop.

And it hit me that I had freewill. I could just go to her. I could turn on the engine and drive home.

I was sitting in my car that night, trying to get at least a little sleep. But I couldn't stop thinking of Raven. I thought maybe I could get to sleep easier thinking of her. I imagined her next to me, leaning on my

shoulder and pointing at stars through the windshield. Tracing out constellations I've never heard of with her finger.

"Are you sure?" I asked, trying not to sound or feel like a begging dog.

"Just come home, Jer."

I'm not ready. I can't go back. I don't deserve her. I can't break her heart anymore.

Her voice, even over the crackling of the payphone, was soft and tired. But soothing. I could imagine her face, resembling her voice. There was moonlight shining through the window and over her face,

reflecting in her eyes. I pictured her holding the phone in one hand, and with her other hand she twirled and tangled the cord between her fingers.

"I just- I d-don't-" Fuck.

I leaned my head against the steering wheel, hoping the cold leather against my forehead would help me think straight.

I slammed the phone down. What the fuck is wrong with me? I can't even get a full sentence out and I'm completely sober. She wants me home. I don't know what to do. I went back to my car and threw

the door shut.

'Just come home, Jer.'

Her voice repeated in my head. Her soft, gentle voice. Just come home.

I sat back up. Ok, I'm going home.

Raven

I sat on the porch steps, waiting in the dark and cold for Jerry. I fidgeted with the frayed edge of the blanket I wrapped myself in, couldn't help but feel nervous. What would I see in front of me when he arrives? Would he look the same? Sound and feel the same? Or would he be completely different? It had only been a year since I'd seen him, but was that normal for a married couple? Maybe it was,

considering our circumstances. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't spend that year worried sick about him. And I'd definitely be lying if I said I didn't miss him. It tore me up to see him the way he was before

he left. And it tore me up to not see him at all.

Over the phone, he tried to make it sound like he didn't need help. If only he knew just how much I can see through his bullshit. I mean, he articulated his emotions very well, he wasn't afraid to show or

tell people how he felt. But in the past few years, there were times when he really shut down. Especially when Layne started to lose himself.

I blamed myself a lot for what happened. I thought if I kept myself calm and collected, Jerry maybe wouldn't have left the way he did. I remember I could physically feel my heart breaking when I watched

him storm out of the door. I know he wouldn't have done that had he not been under so much pressure. He couldn't take anymore of it.

I must have fallen asleep on the porch waiting for him. I jumped awake at the sound of him shutting his truck door. I immediately shivered, noticed it was snowing. Through the flakes, I looked up at Jerry. The fading porch light just barely made him visible.

I remember I called Sean a few hours after Jerry left the house and felt my stomach drop when he said he hadn't seen him. Then he called me the next morning saying he turned up at his apartment,

hungover and soaking wet from the rain. He put Jer on the phone, he told me he was sorry and he was going to leave for a while. Then he told me he loved me and hung up. He didn't let me get a word in.

I was relieved that he was ok. But I was scared, too. And even still, I wasn't sure what of.

"Have you been out here this whole time?" He took a few steps toward me.

His voice. It's him.

I jumped up to my feet and nearly tackled him to the ground. He lifted me up off the ground into his arms. I squeezed as hard as I could, needing to feel him to make sure he was real and that he was ok. I breathed in his scent, the usual old spice and tobacco.

"Come on." He held me close to him and carried me inside.

"I missed you," He whispered into my hair and hugged me tight. "I'm sorry for everything."

I don't know what came over me but I just couldn't let go. I felt a lump in my throat and I didn't bother holding it back, he couldn't see me cry anyway. Not with my face buried deep in his jacket. I could

barely breathe but I didn't care.

He set me down and I grabbed his face before I could even put my feet on the ground. I've been waiting for those words.

"What took you so long?" I could barely get it out, I choked through the words.

"I'm sorry."

I didn't want to go back to that.

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. He said it but why didn't it feel like enough? In the months before he left, I spent more nights alone in bed than I did with him next to me, where he was supposed to be. He

was somewhere else, doing God knows what at God knows where. There were days where I'd be worried sick about him, only for him to show up drunk later that night.

Jerry

"God, I missed you." She whispered, her voice just barely audible in the quiet of the house.

She didn't let go for a long time, and I just let her. She had to be freezing. I could feel the sting of her cold fingers against my neck as she held onto me. I shut the door behind us with my foot and felt the

warmth of the house envelop us. When I set her down, she pulled away and looked at me. I saw my wife for the first time in a year. And she looked the same. Did I think she'd be different?

"You ok?" Her voice was small, but I could sense her concern.

Her cheeks were red and cold. I didn't even realize I was touching her face until she leaned into my hand. Flecks of white snow dotted her dark curls and I wiped one away from her eyebrow. Even in the

cold winter, the freckles spread across her face were still prominent. Like a beam of sunlight always followed her. I just stared. I felt like a little kid, gawking at a beautiful girl.

I snapped out of whatever trance I was in, just enough to nod and reassure her.

"Ok." She mouthed.

Raven

I traced my fingers over his face, his stubble. I smiled to myself, realizing his goatee was gone. He knew I hated it.

"I like this." I told him while holding his jaw.

He chuckled. "Yeah. I know."

[tadpolesonalgae]

helloooo, i hope this isnt weird at all.

u really inspired me to start writing one of the wips ive had cooking in my head for 10,000 years with CBMTHY (i love your interpretations of all the characters across everything youve written, even dark! versions of everyone).

but how do you get the thoughts in your head onto the page :( its a little demotivating to not be as good of a writer as I'd like. so im terrified constantly that the story isn't coming off correctly. it certainly doesn't help that I've been stewing on this fanfic concept since i initially read acotar and tog, (crossover shit woo!) but the scenes are so vivid in my imagination that everything i can actually type out seems to fall flat or seems jumbled with the amount i try to include.

like, i posted a part last night after having it ready to go for months (there are several more im hiding 😭) and have reread it 3 times and have to remind myself its fine and i dont need to delete it. but idk if im just being crazy tbh. Im also very much the same type of person who needs feedback in order to continue with creative projects. however the idea of even asking about it here is intimidating, especially after your stories helped push this lil amateur to write. But any help would be so greatly appreciated, especially becsuse theres no one ik personally who enjoys the series who would be willing to chat about it 😅

again, i hope its not weird that im not sending anything in directly related to ur work and asking for advice 😅😅 but i hope you have a good rest of ur day/ night !!

haha, don't worry about it! I'm not sure I'm the best person to offer advice on this since I'm just kind of writing what I want to write though, but I'll try and help.

What you mentioned about struggling to get thoughts down on the page - I think an element of it is probably feeling comfortable enough to put them down there in the first place? That and also having the words to know what you mean? Read around, listen to music, chat with people if you can and see if you can find stuff you resonate with and then pay attention to what it is and try to figure out why. And it can take a while to find the right words, so let yourself breathe.

Suddenly jumping into a project you've been hyping up in your mind won't come out pristine immediately, it might be a case of writing paragraphs once, then writing them out again beneath that but trying to improve on what you've already written with a thesaurus in hand. It might also be a case of listening to music that simulates the emotions you want to write out and then trying to articulate them in the moment. Also writing without thinking can help. Or writing exactly how you're thinking, I guess? It doesn't always work though, so I'd sincerely suggest trying to write some smaller things to start with or have on the side to help practice.

In terms of trying to find people to give feedback, I think interacting with other writers can help. I'm not the best person for this since I like being away from my computer/phone as much as possible, but chatting to writers off anon, or if your writing blog isn't your main one then switching to your writing blog to leave a comment or reblog and leaving notes in the tags is a really great way to show other people you're interested in acotar/tog and writing. If the idea of coming off anon to interact with writers is (like I find it) absolutely terrifying, you can always keep anon on but sign off using a specific pseudonym or emoji that will be recognisable! That way you can get used to chatting without entirely compromising your anonymity and hopefully become comfortable. Asking other people what they do to help them get their thoughts down too can help since you'll be more likely to find someone similar.

I'd also recommend that if your story is long to try planning it out roughly as chapters or bulletpoints so you don't have to store it all in your brain. Have playlists on hand or boards on Pinterest to look over.

I think it's great that you've posted a chapter though - if you have a project you want to do well it's so easy to get caught up in wanting it to be a good as possible that you never actually get around to posting it, so I think what you've done is a great start. If you're unhappy with it after a few months or so you can always edit, nothing's written in stone.

And if you want to write in again please feel free to! I promise it doesn't have to be about my writing and I would think other writers would feel the same. If you want to turn off anon that's fine, and if you want to use an emoji as a sign off that's cool too, you can work your way up to chatting more openly about the stuff you enjoy :)

Also, if anyone else thinks they have some good tips for writing, getting thoughts down, keeping up interest/motivation with a project please add them!

And anon if you want to send in a link to the first part of your story feel free to, or if you want to chat with me directly I'd be interested to have a peek at what you're writing? I love acotar but tog still has a special place in my heart so I'd love to read more content around it too. I know how scary it can be sharing stuff you've worked hard on :)

[showmey0urfangs]

i love your thoughts on claudia, especially what you said about the past 6 episodes. you’ve pretty much articulated all my misgivings with this season but far more thoughtfully and succinctly lol. ive been iffy about their handling of her since the lazy writing that was the assault in s1 but in terms of motivations and personality i felt like s1 was still coherent and convincing when it came to her. s2 though, yikes. feels like she got a personality transplant and it’s so rough to watch. where is the shrewdly perceptive cunning woman who outsmarted everyone? desperation/loneliness or not, trying to convince anyone that she’d be so clueless to the point of begging for entry into this tacky coven is laughable. if it wasn’t for delainey’s performance i wouldn’t buy any of it for a second. she’s fantastic and probably my favourite thing about this season but like you said, an actor can only elevate the material so far. it’s unfortunate that the writing isn’t meeting her halfway. i keep hoping for a last minute twist and for something to be revealed about her characterization, be it memory failings or outright lies but the more the season progresses the more more i think this uneven, patchy characterization might just be who they think claudia is :( and i hate that for her (and me lol)

Hi! Thank you for saying this, it makes me feel so much better. 😅 Sometimes I feel like I'm taking crazy pills or smth because I don't see anyone else pointing out the weird writing and characterization this season.

It was even more blatant in this most recent episode. Armand is the most powerful mindgift user out of all the vampires and the show makes it a point to show us the extent of his powers many times. We see him unearth Daniel's deepest and most shameful secrets in ep3, as easily as if he was reading from the phonebook. But somehow we're supposed to buy that he's not aware that Daniel is working with the Talamasca and that Rashid is a double agent operating right under his nose? Come on now! And clearly, the writers were aware of this plot hole because Daniel snarkily points it out in the very same episode. But still, no good explanation is ever given for it. Repeat after me Uncle RoJo, characters pointing out flaws in the narrative in a clever bit of meta-textural self-derision does not prevent it from being bad writing.

I also don't understand why Louis would buy the silly lie that Armand was "given a choice" by the coven. I could not prevent it my butt! Louis's seen how powerful Armand is. He should know Armand would have absolutely nothing to fear from those theatre freaks when he can freeze and barbeque all of them with a snap of his fingers. We see him do it in ep 4 with ease. So is Louis a naive dum dum or is he simply too dickmatized—by a man who the story repeatedly lets us know Louis doesn't care for and no longer even has sex with by the looks of things? (#justiceforloumand! We were robbed of all their freaky BDSM scenes 😭)

It's such a bummer because I so wanted to love this season. There are so many moments that are exquisite and the entire cast was acting their skinny overcaffeinated asses off. They were giving Oscar-worthy performances under less than ideal circumstances of multiple strikes, a major recasting etc. But unfortunately, the overall narrative just falls flat because of the incoherent writing choices.

My fingers are crossed that maybe something will be revealed in the next two episodes, that explains why a lot of the characters feel so ooc and behave like naive clueless dum dums in order to allow the plot to happen.

[abysscronica]

Hey there! Thanks for pointing out the admirals details, I had never noticed the opposites thing with how their powers and ideologies clash, oops 😅😅. I always thought they were just supposed to be references to those famous Japanese actors and directors, but your analysis makes wayyy more sense. I did have another semi or un related question. Warm is associated with Kid quite a bit in your story, but recently Ive been reading a lot of the questions and answers here and has changed my interpretation by a lot on birdie and Kid’s dynamic. So is the warmth birdie associated with Kid different than the one warm memory with Kuzan, in that instead if it being a heartwarming feeling, it’s like a “burning to death” feeling? And not saying that the questions or your answers are bad or unhelpful, it’s on the contrary! They have just been having me see a lot of different scenes differently and in a more…..pessimistic(?) way like watching a tragedy unfold 😭😅😅. This may change the further we get in Bonds, but now for me it feels like…..we should be supporting them not being together? I’m not really sure if I was able to articulate this at all because I’m still confused lool But it does have me curious on if we are starting off as Kidxbirdie and evolving to birdiexDrake, etc. moving forward

You're right, the Admirals' look is in fact based on famous Japanese actors. Oda does that sometimes, he takes real or fictional personalities and draws characters with their features: the Admirals, Gan Fall, Vegapunk, Enel...

SO! The association with Kid and warmth: there is no clear-cut reply, because the thing is that Kid covers a spectrum. He can go from comforting warmth, to sensual hot, to painful, burning blaze. This, along with what is "right/necessary" for birdie, is something the reader has to decide. One of the most important warnings I put at the beginning of the book is that it portrays many aspects of an abusive relationship, but it's absolutely not to be taken as a mean to justify ANY kind of abusive relationship in real life. You have to read the story and decide what is right or wrong for yourself, what you can or cannot forgive, what you hope for birdie and Kid. I have a story to tell, but the conclusions are yours.

[sunnie-angel]

hiii sunnie!! i hope your day has been going well!! i just wanted to thank you again for the self ship asks you leave in my inbox they're always so creative and fun to work through they make my day really <33

i also want to know a little more about your own self ships so. about jaysun, what's a favourite literary work or piece of media that gets both of you going insane? a book or a movie or something that makes you want to tear your hair out with how good it is and make some time to consume it and dissect it together?

and for sunford, what's a place that's very special to you two? like maybe because of a memory you shared there or somewhere you dream of visiting someday?

hi ariel!!! i hope you’re having a wonderful week 💕 i love reading all about your selfships. these were such wonderful questions, i had the most lovely time thinking them over

when it comes to books, jason is sat and reading eros the bittersweet by anne carson and the paradise by emile zola with me. eros the bittersweet is technically an adapted phd on love and desire in classical greece but it’s one of the most interesting books on love i’ve ever read. my personal copy is annotated to hell and back, and it’s that copy that i give to jason to read. he adds his own notes and thoughts to it and we trade it back and forth until it’s basically unreadable. i could talk about it for ages, and i think jason would end up getting so emotional about love being described the way she does. just, desire being found in the distance between the boundary of yourself and your lover, a distance you endlessly reach out across looking for connection. nothing to do with deserved or earned, simply existing as naturally as you or any other person. reading this book, to me, is an endless revelation of things you’ve sort of half understood in the back of your mind but can’t quite articulate. i feel like i’m not doing justice to it at all, but jason would listen to me ramble about it anyway. now the paradise, this is a book that i drop into jason’s lap and wait for him to come find me when he’s finished. i think he’d look at the plot and the setting and see so many parallels to his own surroundings. he’d take the message about the inevitability of consumerism and commercialization devouring the lives of the people it exploits and take it as a challenge.

when it comes to movies, well that’s a little trickier. i live and breathe film at uni, and jason very kindly listens to me ramble about whatever it is that i’m studying this week. the significance of sound in this particular movie, the postmodern critique of queer history in that film, how the director of this new one is clearly obsessed with bazin’s realism. i drag jason through my new queer cinema phase, and it’s not really his thing but he likes watching me get animated, hands waving and eyes bright.

this next answer is a little long, so please bear with me 😅 but there’s this place i grew up going to as a child in my grandparents’ hometown. it’s the kind of town that’s nestled between the sea and mountains — not the barren rocky kind, but the type of mountain that’s thick with trees and greenery. to get to this place, you have to drive part way up the mountain on a winding road that frequently has warnings for wild boars roaming. when the weather’s right in the early summer, fog builds up at the top of the mountain, thick enough that you can’t see the bottom anymore. it’s an entirely different world up there, cooler too without the sticky summer heat. when you get to the top, that’s where the onsen is. the building is surprisingly new, glass wall windows and high ceilings. it’s one of the bigger bathhouses in the area with a little food stand and more than one sitting room. i think just the whole concept of onsen and public baths is so foreign to conrad and it takes some convincing to get him to come. but he’s here to meet my family and it’s just something we do here, like going out for coffee or to a neighbourhood barbecue. it's after, when we're sitting on the raised tatami platform in one of the sitting rooms, that's special. his hair is damp and curling around his ears, towel around his neck. he's staring off to the side, where the old timers are watching sumo on the television without sound and toasting each other with perspiring beer cans. there's an uchiwa fan in his hand, one i made him bring because he's not used to the heat and choking humidity. conrad enjoys himself more than he expected to, out here in the middle of no where in particular. out here, he's not conrad oxford, he's little sunnie's trophy boyfriend that gets introduced to every person over the age of 65 by her grandparents who are so pleased to show him off. he's trying so hard to adapt and fit in even though he was clearly so uncomfortable in the beginning and it's in that moment that i know he's in this for the long run. it's such a small thing, isn't it, being willing to learn and participate in the little rituals that mean something to me but i think it's one of the grandest declarations he could have made. this place is special because it's where we both knew we were committed to every part of each other, even the bits we didn't understand yet.

[curlyxxx]

Hi! I really like making beats, recently started to make a discord server🔞 where only a few of my friends have joined.... Most of them are people that I've met in the last year or sooner. All of them haven't treated me any differently from me being as myself as I can be. Normally, I don't share my thought's or creative outputs due to fear of judgment. I've made this Tumblr for me to post anything on my mind or to post openly. Anyways😅

...

My name is Curly, I'm a Transgender female, in my 20s... I've been involved with music for 10+ years but this year, I started Producing my own beats. Previous experiences has lead me to Video editing (12+ years). I haven't only spent my time living in the City.. I grew up kind of in the mix between country & Bigger Cities.. Younger me liked to explore a lot, I'd go on walks and disappear for hours listening to the same tracks on an iPod Classics... One of those old ones with 256gb. I maxed out the storage in middle school. I'm glad to be out of the toxic space I was in & I kinda finally feel like I'm headed in the direction I want to be going. Through my journey, I've lived in the woods (a fishing resort) for about 4 months. Learning all kinds of trades. With stories like being charged by a bear with mom's cubs climbing a tree😆. - I should note I normally use a lot of emojis... I tend to because I feel as though I can't articulate myself properly... Plus I really don't want people to misinterpret what I'm saying at all...😅 I enjoy gaming... So much to the point I've been guided by a friend to make a game. I've been taking my time to learn & slowly get organized, as I move soon. More Space! I finally get to use 2 monitors again & have a setup with a decent chair.. The game I'm going to make is a visual novel, I have 2 - I'm currently working on with a few other ideas I could work on in the future... I'm learning pieces of Python, Ren'py and small amounts of other code. I'll be making the entire visual novel myself, both games! I might get some help through people I meet through my future journey.. & I really look forward to it! but I'm currently still in a learning phase for what I really wanna do. It took me a really long time to realize or find the right people I needed to surround myself with... or I guess people I want to be around! I'll probably post again tomorrow, but I don't really have a schedule until the move... I really enjoy writing, I spent most of my high school years trying to figure out how rhythm works with words... Trying to match words to a beat... Took me a really long time to figure out on my own. Now, I'm so grateful for the people around that have nurtured me especially when I was most vulnerable. I care very deeply for those around me & sticking around. I was essentially left in the Dust by a group of YouTubers trying to make a Quick Buck during the Pandemic. I never made a penny... I tried to keep up with their level of business and dug myself a hole... Now I'm building what I hope to be my future from this point on. All I want to do is draw & learn... I want to constantly Learn from/with people. I have a huge interest in what's going to come in the future! Hope whoever reads this has a good weekend. Hopefully I'll post again soon. Stream plz cut it out by Curly | Listen online for free on SoundCloud

[creativepromptsforwriting]

Hello! I wanted to ask if you had any first kiss prompts? Like.... innocent, soft, shy kinds of first kisses, I guess. Dialogue or otherwise. I really love your content by the way! I'm sorry if my ask is confusing or not clear in any way, I'm not the best at articulating my thoughts 😅

Hi and thank you :)

Not confusing at all! Here are my thoughts on first kisses:

First Kiss Prompts

"I would very much like to kiss you right now." "Please."

"I'm not sure how to..." "Just follow my lead."

"Is it ok if I kiss you?" "I would like that very much."

"I knew I would love kissing you, but this was..." "Even better than the dream?" "Yes."

"This would probably be the perfect moment for a kiss..." "And we probably shouldn't waste it."

"I would like to show you how good I feel when I'm with you."

"I've never done this before. I'm probably not going to be great at it." "Neither have I. But we could figure it out together."

The first kiss was not like the movies. It was a bit too stiff and at an awkward angle. But the second one was already better. Later that evening they had already become masters.

It was always exciting to kiss someone new. The first shy touches of yet to be claimed lips, leading to soft sighs and deepening feelings.

The feather-light touch on her lips made her feel warm and safe.

It was the first time their lips were meeting, but they immediately knew that it wouldn't be the last.

Hope you like them!

- Jana

[stormblessed95]

I'm relatively new to tumblr and twt even tho I've been in the fandom for 6yrs (I'm not really a fan of socmeds) so idk what I'm doing. Anyway, I've been having this thought for so long and my brain was starting to physically hurt due to hm I've tried to figure it out myself. So i truly do believe that jikook are romantically involved, but of course i still doubt it sometimes.

Like In the Run BTS (don't rem the exact ep) jimin and jungkook were playing the pushing game and they were giggling/grinning like fools, and so jin suddenly asked if they're together.

If jikook are actually an item, why would jin ask that infront of a cam, knowing full well that it'd be aired in their popular variety show which millions of fans watch? If they are truly in a hidden rs, it wouldn't make sense for the other members to say stuff like that right? especially not in public.

Like in this Run BTS in canada too, Jimin and Jungkook were wearing identical denim polos and Namjoon said they looked like a couple. Idk, It feels like they shouldn't say that because it might cause suspicion or something. Maybe all the members are comfortable enough to jokingly admit that they're a "couple" and are aware that even if they say stuff like that fans wouldn't take it seriously?? Like them fully utilizing the shipping culture's 'umbrella'??

Am i making any sense? (Sorry I'm just really bad at articulating things)

Hi! Welcome to the madness that is social media 😅💀 good luck while you are here! I noticed you also just followed me today. So HI and welcome again to my little corner of the internet! I haven't talked about the Jin one specifically, but to me that reads as a joking "stop flirting and play the Damn game, we've got things to do" comment to jolt jikook out of their own little world. Lol I have talked about the Namjoon one though here and that basically covers the sentiment of what my opinion is for all these "are you/you are acting like a couple" comments from the members to jikook. That post can be found here:

You also mentioned at the end of your ask about the members jokingly being okay calling themselves a couple too. Which I sort of already made a post about too. Clearly in both of these cases you mentioned, it is obvious they were using the word couple in a romantic sense of the word. But often times the members will refer to themselves as a couple and will not mean it as a romantic couple at all and that they don't mind the jokes too much either. That post over the word couple is here:

Hopefully those posts help! 🥰 Thanks for the ask! Hope everyone has a good day/night!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Tbh I feel myself being drawn in by your analysis and perspectives on twst rather than your general headcannons and one shots (no criticism on your writing at all btw! Your writing is absolutely lovely and I could go on a rant on how much I love it-which I am now seriously considering) nothing compares to opening up tumblr and getting a huge surge of dopamine when you post a personal thought. The quality and the manner in which you articulate your thoughts so sophisticated and well written, your points just glide right off the page. Even thought I might not necessarily agree with all your points personally, I still feel excited to read up on whatever you post because it’s such a deep dive into a character’s motivations, personal issues, etc. or how a ploy should have functioned that I find myself convinced by the ending of the post and agreeing with you. And even if I have seen a certain point before stated by someone else, hearing you go into your own personal reasons and often going into even more detail than other people i have seen before makes my heart pound out of my chest istg; everytime an new event comes around I immediately start waiting for your thoughts and what you enjoyed and what you think would be improved. You’re such a fantastic writer and I wish I could find the words to give the praise you deserve. ahahaha….i hope that didn’t come off as too intense or fanboyish..

Uwawawawawawawawah… (〃▽〃) Thank you very much, Anon!!!

It’s not every day when I receive such lengthy and detailed feedback for my work, so I really appreciate it!! I actually really like receiving asks like this, as it gives me something substantial and meaningful to chew on, reflect on, and incorporate into my writing as I move forward.

I’m happy that you’re enjoying both my creative writing and my more analytical/theory posts (I’ve been doing more of the latter lately because I’ve been busy with irl things 😅)! Depending on my mood, sometimes I find analysis and theory posts more entertaining to write than creative pieces are.

I’ve always been an advocate for being critical of the media one consumes, and that means sharing thoughts and inviting differing opinions in so that everyone comes out of it with something new. It also means being okay with constructive criticism—realizing that you can love something while also being unhappy with aspects of it and wishing for better. You don’t necessarily need to overanalyze everything to enjoy it, but I find that doing so brings entire new worlds’ worth of meaning to me. Analysis is what I personally choose to do (others may not and just wish to enjoy the franchise casually, which is equally as valid).

I just hope that by mindfully sharing my own thoughts and rambles, I can impart some of that wisdom onto the TWST fandom at large. I want to encourage intellectual discussion about the characters we love and how the lessons TWST teaches us can apply to the real world. I want to open minds to the possibilities that the rich world of Twisted Wonderland has to offer.

I’m always eager for new content 😌 and I’m just as eager to word vomit my thoughts on that new content out. jxhsvsjsbjwns I didn’t realize that people (like you, Anon!) actually looked forward to it; I feel like I mainly make posts on new content for my own records (so I can retroactively look at it later and wonder “what was I thinking back then???”)… but I’m happy that my ramblings were noticed and deemed to have value.

Maybe I really am making a little bit of a change through my writing 😌 Maybe… my words really have reached someone.

What a nice thought~

[lily-janus]

Saw you're doing prompts (at least it's in the pinned post xd) and since I'm trash:

"say that again" or "Just pretend to be my date." with loceit? :D

Okay sorry this took a while but I ended up doing both. Also I hope you don't mind but it's part of a series I wrote on AO3 and continued a bit here on Tumblr😅 I don't think you need to read those to understand this one though😊 hope you like it💛💙

Being Different

Summary: Logan and Janus struggle with other people's assumptions about their relationship.

Pairing: queer platonic Loceit

Some context: Logan is AroAce and Janus is Freyromantic and Freysexual

Warnings: missed understanding and assumption about QPR being a romantic relationship, internal want to not be aspec and that's it I think, let me know if I missed anything.

Word count: 1,388

It was not uncommon for people to assume him and Janus were dating. It happened a lot actually. Logan didn't always mind it, there were times when they both agreed to do it on purpose for entertainment reasons… but then there were times they weren't.  

Of course, Janus always encourages him to not care about what other people think, but it's not about that. It irritates him because of the simple fact people assume so easily that they know everything about their relationship and its nature. It would have annoyed him even if they were in fact dating. It's the principle. 

"Awww you're such a cute couple!" The waitress commented and Logan could feel his eye twitch in annoyance.

"We're not dating." Logan hissed lowely, Janus immediately laying a hand on one of his own that were clenched to fists on the table.

The waitress didn't seem to get the hint. She winked "maybe not yet."

Logan nearly growled in frustration. "No! Not ever! We're in a QPR and you don't get to assume-"

"Logan." Janus said softly, cutting off Logan's angry rant and he trailed off with a huff.

Janus turned to the waitress. "Sorry, it's a difficult spot for us, can you leave us for a minute?"

The waitress blinked at the sudden outburst. "Ah… sure." She said and left.

Logan sighed. "I'm sorry Janus, I know I should stop caring about this by now but…" he trailed off, looking away in shame.

Janus was still holding one of his hands, his thumb now stroking it soothingly. "Logan, it's okay to be upset about it." He said softly in that silky voice of his that always seems to calm Logan down.

"In an ideal world, people will stay out of other people's lives and businesses. Now, I don't justify this behaviour, but try to understand." Janus leaned forward a bit, forcing Logan to face him and meet his eyes. "We didn't know about this possibility either, you can't blame people for being ignorant on a subject that's far from well known. But, you are allowed to be hurt by this, your feelings matter regardless of others' intentions."

Logan let Janus' words sink in for a bit, before letting out another sigh and nodding.

Janus smiled softly at him, squeezing his hand reassuringly, before smirking. "What do you say we get out of here? This place's theme is too mushy to my liking anyway."

Logan didn't get a chance to articulate a response before Janus led him up and out of the restaurant. 

He was unusually quiet for the entirety of the car ride, thinking over Janus' words, feeling his frustration fade away slowly.

The car skidded to a stop and it took Logan a few moments to realize where they were.

"The beach?" Logan questioned as they got out of the car, the sky pitch black above them. He thought over what one usually does at the beach, "I don't think swimming is recommended at this time."

Janus snorted. "Oh Logan, no, no, geez. I'm not Remus"

Logan blushed slightly. "Then… why did you bring us here? The usual activities at the beach are swimming and watching the sunset, both of which are not appropriate for this time of day."

Janus smirked. "As always you are right. But, there is something I know you like more than sunsets that comes out at this time." Janus tilted Logan's head gently towards the sky and Logan gasped softly.

"Stars." Logan wasn't dumb, he knew Janus is trying to distract him. But well, he didn't really mind it. The sky was as clear as glass and the stars shone bright, he could almost see all the famous constellations and some of the less known ones too.

Without realizing it, he sank down to the soft sand, eyes fixed on the sky, and started talking about all the different stars and galaxies. After all, space was one, if not the, favorite subject for him to talk about.

Janus stayed quiet listening intently, and, after a while, they both fell to comfortable silence.

Logan finally managed to tear his eyes away from the breathtaking sky and looked closely at Janus. Their eyes met.

"I know that look, don't you even go there." Logan said.

"What look?" Janus asked innocently.

Logan resisted the urge to snort at that. "Don't you dare bring up-"

"Remember your sister's wedding?"

"The wedding." Logan finished a second too late, sighing. "Yes, Janus, I remember. I was so lost, I didn't know what to do. So then you said-"

"Just pretend to be my date, and everything will play out smoothly." They recited at the same time, smiling nostalgically at each other. So much has changed since then.

"It did not, in fact, play out smoothly." Logan pointed out and Janus rolled his eyes fondly.

"Yes darling, I was there. To be fair…" Janus laced their fingers together. "I did warn you not to listen to me."

Logan chuckled lightly and they fell to silence again. Inevitably, Logan's thoughts circled back to the waitress and he sighed sadly. "You know, we can't escape this. No matter how many people we'll tell and explain it to, there will always be twice as many people that are still ignorant."

Janus sighed too. "No, we can't… But we can face it head on, with our chins up, and take whatever society throws at us. We have each other, nothing will change that and that's all we need, Logan. Heteronormativity and society be damned. I love you, Logan, and that's all that matters."

Logan felt the corners of his eyes sting, he sometimes wonders what has he ever done to deserve Janus. "S-say that again." Logan asked, voice full of emotion.

Janus turned to him, smiling. "I love you Logan."

Logan threw his arms around Janus' shoulders, holding him tightly as he cried, tears streaming down his cheeks and soaking Janus' jacket. "I just… I know I shouldn't and… and I really came to terms with myself and who I am, I promise…" Logan trailed off with a sob.

"But?" Janus asked gently.

Logan took a shuddering breath. "But sometimes I wish I was… Normal… like everyone else… it would make things so much simpler. I'm so tired of explaining myself to every new person I meet, of feeling isolated and having the majority of people not relate or understand me. I sometimes wish it'll all just stop and I could take a breath or two and… be able to live my life like everyone else." 

Logan sniffed, burying his face in Janus' shoulder, unable to meet his gaze from shame, he's basically saying he wished their beautiful relationship would not be… Janus must be so hurt right now-

"I feel that way too sometimes." Janus said quietly, rubbing soothing circles on his spine. "But then…" Logan could hear Janus' smile in his voice. "Then I remember that I have you, and we have this. And I wouldn't trade that for anything." Janus pulled back a little so they're eyes could meet, he was indeed smiling and Logan almost felt a mirror smile tugging at his lips. "No one ever in my life understood me like you. So much so that sometimes I wonder if you could actually hear my thoughts." He chuckled softly.

Logan rubbed his warm cheeks, wiping his tears and sniffing. "I would be truly lost without you, Janus… thank you."

Janus smirked. "Ah yes, what would you do without me, I'd imagine life will be quite boring."

Logan smiled, grabbing his hand and lacing their fingers. "And lonely too." He added, not missing Janus' smirk melting into a gentle smile.

"Life will never be simple for us. Sometimes it will feel like too much, and sometimes it won't." Janus gave Logan's hand a squeeze. "But I'm sure that if we stick together, we're sure to figure it out."

He got up, pulling Logan with him and they both dusted themselves to get rid of all the sand.

Logan studied Janus' reassuringly familiar face the whole ride to his apartment. He was suddenly struck with the realization that none of those 'normal' people Logan was so jealous of, will ever feel that kind of connection with someone. He smiled to himself, maybe being different isn't all that bad…

[softguarnere]

never really done a ship request before, so bear with me. we're branching out into the unknown here. (i'd say new year new me but it's not a new year for me, i've just elected to go hogwild.)

let's get into it i guess.

i'm Very Short. my god, it's an actual injustice, and if there's a god, when i die we are going to have Words. i think i'm even shorter than perco, which, Yikes.

i've got pretty broad shoulders and despite being Tiny i'm weirdly strong. (i was volunteering the other week and lifted So Many crates, freaking out everyone in the process. i guess i look like i have the strength and fortitude of flat stanley.)

i guess i'm conventionally attractive? i personally think i look like an idiot, but apparently i'm somewhere between a golden age hollywood actor and a small woodland creature. don't ask me how this works, because i don't understand it myself. (the woodland creature looks are definitely there though, my parents used to call me bambi as a kid because i was clumsy and had big brown eyes.)

in any case, people have allegedly flirted with me, so that's something. i say allegedly because i thought they were just being nice, and i doubt anyone would flirt with me. if they are, one: they're crazy, and two: i'm certainly not going to pick up on it.

personality wise, i think short man syndrome is stupid but i am absolutely filled with rage. or, as politely put on report cards in school, i'm very "passionate." it did not take me long to find out that by passionate they meant "mildly annoying and weirdly opinionated." *sigh*

(that being said, having passion about a subject/knowing what they're doing is by far the hottest trait in a person. i once made out with someone because they went on a ten minute rant about the psychology of a campbell's soup ad.)

despite the inner rage, i am almost always the calmest in the group. (i am large, i contain multitudes, etc. also, repression!) i'm very much a parent friend. i Always carry bandaids, cough drops, neosporin, ibuprofen, hand sanitizer, and a tiny screwdriver. it never hurts to be prepared, and someone always needs something. also, i feel like it shows that i care. i'm big on keeping snacks and extra food in case friends are over (and i keep note of who likes what)

i hate pretentious people, but i also hate ignorant people and any version of anti-intellectualism. i find it completely impossible to date anyone who isn't at least a little smart (book smart, street smart, smart in terms of creativity, it doesn't matter, i just need proof you've got a brain).

never really found that liking the same things is conducive to a good relationship. my mom's always said that having a good relationship isn't about liking the same things, but about hating the same things, and by god is she right.

hope i did this right! you're absolutely fantastic, keep up the good work :-)

Anon, your vibes are immaculate, and I honestly had a very hard time deciding who to ship you with. Every time I started to write this, I would change my mind about who I was going to pair you with, and I really really hope that this turned out okay 😅And thank you so much for the compliment 🥰

I ship you with . . .

Joe Toye!

Listen, it's gotta come down to the passion for me. Y'all probably initially hit it off during basic while complaining about something that Sobel did. He just feels angry, but he sees that you're able to articulate the things he also feels into coherent opinions and he's like "whoa, who is this?" Meanwhile you see his fire and think the same thing. You start talking and recognize something in the other that's similar to something in yourself and boom! The rest is history (Literally the embodiment of that Wuthering Heights quote that's like, "Whatever souls are made of, his and mine are the same" imo)

When he first takes an interest in you, he probably thinks that he's got to watch out for you because of your size. But after watching you during PT and seeing how strong you are he's like "damn, maybe I'm the one who needs someone to watch out for me" lol

Don't worry about not picking up on him flirting with you at first. He's so direct, he probably just tells you that he's into you the second he figures it out, because why wait and beat around the bush and make it all confusing like everyone else does? There's a war going on, no one's got that kind of time

He knows that you like smart people, which he assumes means book smart. That makes him kind of insecure since he didn't finish high school. But when he finds out that you like street smarts . . . oh boy. Is he ever gonna show that off for you, especially when he's had a few drinks and is a little more confident than usual

Even if you're both super passionate about the same things, he still just feels really calm around you. At some point he realizes that you sometimes repress your emotions, and he learns to set his own aside and assume the Dad Friend™️ position for a second so that you can let loose. Instead of "hold my beer" he's just like "GO WILD BABE! EXPRESS YOURSELF!!"

You always seem to have what everyone needs, but what do you need? He is an acts of service man, so Joe would make it a point of figuring out the things that you like and making sure that he has them on hand so that you can also enjoy yourself when you guys are out with friends. He wants you to know that you're also cared for, and what better way to show you that he cares than by doing it the same way that you do for other people?

If you're into physical touch, sometimes he just holds you, especially if you're feeling angry and want to calm down. Which is great, because who wouldn't want to be held by Joe Toye? Jealous of you ;)

Anon, I really hope I did ya justice. Thanks for the request, and I hope you like this 💕🕊️

[mooshs-crack-headcanons]

Ooups im so sorry it's really my fault, I read the rules but a long time before making the request so i forgot im so freaking sorry 😰, but I would like to ask Law with # 20, #5 reader who receives or 28 with reader riding please?

I hope I didn't make a mistake this time, im so sorry again 😓😓

Don't worry you're good! I was waiting for someone to request the devil fruit related one with Law, his is just perfect for it! Though bit weird to write 😅 still hope you like anyway!

Day 5: inappropriate devil fruit usage

(Cw: it's Law fruit, the one which allows him to rearrange body parts freely and body horror stuff so definitely if this is a subject that makes you feel uncomfortable please don't feel pressured to read this work any further)

(This work includes: gender neutral!reader)

(NSFW under the cut as always)

It didn't hurt like you first thought it would when bringing up the idea to Law. It took days and hours whenever you got the chance to be alone with him to convince him to go along with the idea and even though you really got warm and tingling I'm all the right places when he finally did agree to do it that night, ground rules and all set, still in back of your mind you couldn't help the subconscious thought that it even if it didn't hurt it at least had to feel... weird in some way. You saw the fruit it action; how it scrambled up marines in weird and sometimes funny combinations and thought to yourself plenty of times how fun it would you to get scrambled up in the bedroom since quite literally but still it had to feel weird being like that in some way didn't it?

The answer was shockingly no - it didn't, it actually felt like... nothing, even the slicing up part. It was truly in that devil fruit wonder since of just; amazingly felt like nothing - and right of now you were just a head! It definitely takes time to get use to and just how weird your body is headless and slacked over on the chair by Law's desk that Law has to kick the chair out of view so that you could articulate with your new... situation. You watch carefully as the view of the world around changes as Law picks up your head placing his hand that the bottom of your neck to show you there's nothing but invisible barrier there - no blood or anything and explain a basic premise of and invisible connection ties you still have with your body and all it would take to put you normal back together it to plop your head back onto you neck (think of a lego)

With you comfortably situated, steady hands move to the sides of your neck lowering you to the eye level length of his cock and a low voice tells you to knock from the other side of the room. It takes a moment, you closing your eyes to control your connection to you across the room and low and behold your knuckles scrap across the metal of the submarine walls.

"If you need to stop, knock. Loudly."

"Or I could just bite your dick?" You tease, his eye above you twitches. "I'm joking, alright, I'm ready." He gives you a look over, gentleness easing the worry slowly behind dark eyes before he takes your head and places it over his cock, a curse immediately out of his lips the second your tongue flickers and hugs against it.

It's overwhelming, him pumping your mouth slowly on him somehow within the realms of devil fruit logic hitting the back of your throat as he fuck slowly into your face. You moan around his length, jelling away while your body doesn't have to do a damn thing as he sets the pace for you. Tears creep in the corners of your eyes with pleasure as your tongue wraps and jerks the cock in your mouth and the bland taste of pre filling and sticking to the roof of the palate.

When he pulls up, you gasp for desperate air before begging to be put right back down again and going right back to town and relishing all the unheld back noises that your captain makes. Law grips so tightly to your hair on the back of your head as he fucks you mouth, letting himself go yet still holding that last bit of control to look over to your body that's squirming and wiggling around in his chair just in case things take a sudden turn and he has to move quickly to make himself to stop and see you're alright.

Luckily, it never comes as the surgeon feels the deep squeeze of his lower gut coil and he feels himself approaching faster and faster. He leans forward into the feel of your mouth with a loud; "Shit!" before announcing he's hit his end and he's filled your mouth full. When he pulls you off, you swallowed - his come all gone in that devil fruit logic manner - and you pant and gang your tongue to show him the mess. A amused chuckle, a not so much a strange sound you've come to hear many time in the span of your relationship, comes from him as he lifts your head to mesh into a kiss. When he holds you back your eyes dart around and an amused smile already wide a cross your lips.

"Wow, I guess I really-"

"(Name), don't-"

"-lost my head there."

Law can't help but to groan as the room echoes with your roaring laughter until you feel the sudden shock of be lifted and zapped out of the air - next thing you know your head is on your own shoulders again as you go to feel yourself finally connected again you look back to Law, with his legs arms crossed and avoiding eye contact.

"That was funny, Law. It's alright to laugh."

"If I was interested in puns I would back at the Strawhats ship with the Skeleton." You watch as a small smile succumbs to his face.

"But you get the exception - now come back over here I don't think we're quite done here."

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