#hope they end up like leslie (sorry)

[clockwayswrites]

So far this file is called 'birdritch'. Those of you who follow my art tumblr might know where this is going. I needed something light to write, been a low day. There has been zero editing or reading through and it is past 2am, sorry and enjoy! (Don't need any typos pointed out, ty.)

---

“You are supposed to be home.”

Danny blinked up from his work to find Lucius Fox standing in the doorway of the lab. The man had the sport of expression one wore around a child who had just done something disappointing.

(Danny was used to the look, even if it had been a long time since he'd been a kid. Or seen his parents, for that mater.)

“Okay, but,” Danny started, “we agreed that I could start at ten and take my eight hours and one for lunch—”

“A mandatory one hour for lunch away from your desk,” Lucius interrupted.

“Yes, yes, I’ve been doing that! I’ve been eating out on the rooftop garden or even leaving the building and eating out or taking lunch to the park. I’ve been behaving, Lucius, I promise.”

Lucius raised a judgmental brow. “It’s after eight, Danny.”

“What? No. I have an alarm on my phone and everything… okay, well, that only works if my phone is charged.” Danny jabbed uselessly at his phone screen. He followed the charger, which was plugged in, all the way to the wall. He resisted the urge to let his head fall against the wall. “I guess Leslie fried the outlet again or something. I’m sorry, Lucius.”

“It’s fine, Danny,” Lucius said, “but only because, one, I know you have been trying, and two, I am going to buy you the most embarrassing alarm clock I can find and mount it to something in this lab. Now it is late and I am going home and so are you, Mr. Fenton.”

“Yes sir, Mr. Fox,” Danny said and made an exaggerate show of packing up his backpack, dead phone and all.

Lucius gave a little snort at the antics, but left with a ‘get home safe, Danny’. After his boss was gone, Danny took the time to actually make sure everything was in his bag and secure. He still didn’t get why he couldn’t just work late, but apparently WE had something of an insistence of work life balance. According to Lucius, Danny crossed the line too often and so was being kept in line. (Danny didn’t think mention he didn’t have much of a life, literally and otherwise, would help his case.)

Still, Danny mused as he stepped inside the empty elevator, the rules did keep him from becoming his parents. And that was a very, very good thing! Being a mad scientist in Gotham usually ended up landing someone in Arkham. It was just that after the chaos that Danny grew up with, going back to his empty apartment was depressing. It wasn’t as if Danny never got out and did things, it was just that all those things were mostly on the weekend. Most days he just didn’t have a reason to go back to his place.

There was no getting out of it tonight, the great and powerful Fox had spoken and Danny knew better than to try and sneak back up. He lifted his hands over his head, stretching as the elevator descended the last few floors. Oh well, at least it was before ten. He could still grab something on the way home and have a full, warm meal to take his pain meds on. By the pull along his forearm he would need them.

“Night, Bill,” Danny said as he passed the security guard who was on the evening shift. He got another ‘get home safe’ in response and gave a little wave in reply over his shoulder.

Even after the few years in Gotham, it still amused Danny how much everyone wished everyone else some sort of safe travels here. As much as Gotham was a city of hardened realists, there still was so much hope about it. Hope people got home safely, that the Bats would get where they were need in time, that the city would rebuild again and again and again. The undercurrent of hope was so strong that Danny could practically feel it moving through the city like a river.

It had been one of the reasons Danny had taken the job.

He could use hope.

He also had been very careful not to look too closely into it all. While Danny’s early life may have been dominated by the occult, he tried to stay away from it these days outside of the necessary visits to the Realm for his health. As much as the Far Frozen was full of ghost yetis, Frostbite was still a being of science and being there felt more like a cold vacation to his weird relatives than anything else those days.

Danny was actually worried that he was getting close to needing another visit. He shouldn’t, not yet. He wasn’t actually due back for another three months, but the thought of visiting Frostbite had been pulling at the back of Danny’s mind. The most annoying part of it all, is that there wasn’t any concrete reason that Danny felt he needed to go, just a lot of little things: the ache was deeper in his bones, he’d been missing noticing little things, his near constant vertigo was worse, and, oddest of all, he had been feeling chilled.

Maybe he should just take a long weekend and go for a quick visit.

Lucius would undoubtedly approve of the break.

Tomorrow, Danny would ask tomorrow.

(As long as he remembered.)

[jasntodds]

Penance [7]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 8,230

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, fluff, mentions of death, hurt/comfort, mentions of scars, small description of jason's autopsy scar, smut, 18+ mdni

Summary: ❝Thesus: Stop. Give me your hand. I am your friend. Herakles: I fear to stain your clothes with blood. Thesus: Stain them. I don’t care.❞

It’s been a month and a half since Crane’s reign of terror was stopped, leaving Gotham to finally return to normal. But, what is normal? After everything Jason and you have been through, it seems normal might be some unobtainable dream state. But that’s not going to stop either of you from trying and maybe, you’ll get lucky in the end. At the end of it, the two of you have suffered enough, right?

Right?

A/N: It was my birthday a few weeks ago and 2 days later I was in the ER with a bad kidney infection so that's why this is late lol I'm sorry!! lol You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary  and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

Jason and you patrol together and it feels like old times. You work well together just as you always have and it’s something the both of you really needed. Patrolling with Tim was different because you had to and you couldn’t really do it how you were used to because it was about training Tim and showing him the ropes. But this? This is like it always was, fighting side by side, teaming up and taking turns interrogating people. You stop at Excellent Gotham halfway through and park yourselves by Jason’s favorite gargoyle to eat.

You think tonight is healing parts of you. You felt hopeless before and now you're sitting here with your favorite person as if nothing has really changed. Maybe you don’t need to punish yourself all of the time and maybe this can be good. Maybe you can let yourself heal from everything. If Jason can, don’t you deserve to try?

“Wasn’t too boring tonight, was it?” Jason quips, the both of you back in your street clothes as you stand outside of your apartment building, Jason having rode home with you to make sure you got home safe.

“Eh.” You shrug. “It was alright I guess.” You scrunch your nose at him.

“Alright?!” Jason scoffs. “Bullshit. I’m a fucking trip.”

“You’re something.” You let out a cackle and Jason is relieved to see you look so happy. You looked lost earlier. “Can I ask you something?” You ask.

“What’s up?” Jason shifts his weight to his left leg, resting the helmet on his hip.

“When do you go see Leslie again?” You look down, tugging your sleeves over your hands before your eyes come up to Jason's.

Jason's brows raise slightly before he shrugs. “Uh…few days, why?”

“Can you, uh, a-ask her if she…ya know…maybe I need…to go.”

Jason nods his head with a warm smile. “Yeah, I’ll ask her and give her your number.”

“Thanks, Jay.” You give him a small and shy smile.

“Of course.” Jason smiles softly. “Hate fucking admitting it, but it’s been helping a bit again.”

“Good. I, uh, that’s why I wanna go. Might be for the best.”

“Good. Can’t hurt.” Jason nods his head.

“Yeah.” You smile softly. “Well, I’m gonna head in but thanks for tonight.”

“Do it again?” The corner of Jason's tugs into a hopeful smirk.

“Hell yeah.” You laugh softly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” You beam before spinning on your heels and entering the apartment building.

A smile is stretched across your face as you make your way up the three flights of stairs to your apartment. No part of you believes going to see Leslie is going to be easy but if she’s helping Jason who literally died, surely she can help you. And it feels really good to finally feel like you and Jason might be falling back into some sort of normal after everything.

You enter your apartment, pressing your back against the door as it shuts behind you. The TV is playing quietly from the living room, the rest of the apartment is dark. You're so stuck on how well the night went, you almost miss the sound of Molly’s voice coming from your living room.

“Molly?” You question, pushing off the door and walking the few feet into the kitchen, looking into the living room thanks to the open concept layout.

Molly is leaning against the arm of the couch holding her phone against her thighs. A wide smile splits her face as Jurassic Park is playing on the TV. Molly is still rambling on about the first time she saw the movie, completely ignoring your presence. You roll your eyes and walk over to the back of the couch, looking at her phone screen.

“Hey.” Gar chimes.

Molly jumps. “When did you get back?” Molly ask.

“Just now?” You question. “Hey, Gar?” Your brows furrow, looking between the two of them.

Nothing going on, sure.

Molly looks at the time on her phone. “Did it go okay? You’re not mad are you?” Molly questions.

“What happened?” Gar asks.

You look between the two of them and maybe nothing is going on but from where you're standing, it definitely looks like it. You aren't even upset about it, but if something is going on, you think it's weird and confusing neither one of them would just say something but you aren't going to push. It's not really your business or your place. So, you decide, you're not even gonna say anything. You'll sit back and see what happens with them.

“Nothing?” You shake your head. “We patrolled together, grabbed some food, and came back.” You shrug your shoulders. “So, I’m gonna shower and head to bed.” You reach over the couch and steal a handful of popcorn from Molly’s bowl. You glance to the TV, watching the water in the cup on the dash of the Jeep start to vibrate. “You guys are missing the best part.” You state as you start walking away. “Get it together, guys.” You make your voice cheery, making sure they know you're joking and you can hear Molly laugh quietly as you enter your room.

You grab your change of clothes before heading to the bathroom and hopping in the shower. Music plays through the bathroom until it's interrupted by a ding from a text. You peek out of the shower just in time to see your phone screen still on with Jason’s contact on your screen. He’s texted you a quick ‘made it home’. You smile to yourself and continue washing your hair while your phone chimes again. This time when you look over, it’s a second text from Jason telling you you should just meet him at his place around noon and you can go to Home Depot together. You roll your eyes but your smile is glued to your lips while you finish your shower.

You take a seat on the toilet seat with a towel draped around your body. You pick up your phone while your stomach bubbles and twists.

You: What? Don’t trust my driving?

Jaybird: No ☠️

You: Fuck you 🔪

Jaybird: I’m really shaking in my boots babe

You: You suck

Jaybird: 🤤

You: 🤮

Jaybird: 🖕

You: Ill see you tomorrow I do like to be chauffeured around

Jaybird: How many times did it take autocorrect to get that word right?

Your jaw drops before you burst out laughing. He’s such an asshole but it did take more than a few tries to get that damn word right and he would know.

You: I will walk over to your apartment and fucking stab you so fucking help me jason todd

Jaybird: You’d have to catch me first babe

You: That a dare?

Jaybird: I dare you

You: Okay

You toss your phone and immediately start getting dressed in sweats. You don’t bother with makeup or anything else. You get the bathroom tidied up before you exit the bathroom, phone in hand before you go for your backpack. Molly is still peaking over the couch on her Facetime call with Gar.

“What’re you doing?” Molly asks.

“Going to stab Jason.” You answer casually while Molly looks to her phone at Gar.

“She’s doing what?”

“He dared me, Gar!” You yell but Molly and Gar can tell by the airiness in your voice it's really not that serious.

“He dared you to stab him?” Molly asks, unsure if she really heard you correctly or if she really wants to any sort of context.

You widen your eyes at her, nodding your head quickly. “Yeah! And I’m not gonna back down. It’s a dare.” You scoff with the furrow of your brows.

“Were they always this weird?” Molly asks Gar.

“Hey!” You yell.

“Yes.” Gar answers with a nod.

“Okay, I’ll be back!” You call with a smile as you kick your shoes on and head out, locking the three locks on your way out.

Jason prepares for you to get there, knowing you take dares seriously. He unlocks the door and shuts every light off in the place. If you want to come for him, he’s not going to make it easy. That ruins the game. It’s silly and he knows but at this point, he doesn’t want to miss even a single opportunity with you. Yes, he shouldn't have wasted a month and a half and neither should you but he’s thinking maybe that was for the best. It did give you both space to start to healing. It gave you both space to start setting up your own lives and finding out who you are today. It seems to have helped and there’s nothing saying you can’t continue while trying to get back what you once had. Optimism is not something that ever came easy to Jason Todd but he’s letting himself feel optimistic about you for just a second.

You pull up to Jason's place, seeing it’s completely dark. At first, it almost scares you, thinking maybe something happened and this is a trap. That would be something that could happen. But, that thought fades quickly because you don’t have that pit in your stomach and Jason would never have played along with anything to endanger you. This is Jason being a shit.

You dig in your bag and pull out your phone, using the flashlight as you enter the building, keeping light on your toes.

“Finally.” Jason's voice rings through the speaker system. “Usual rules?”

This was something you did at the Manor when Bruce was out. You blacked out the entire house, the only light would come from the moon outside. Other than that, it was just you two and a black house trying to locate each other. The only rules were not to permanently injure the other one -- don’t shove each other down the stairs and no lethal weapons. First person to disarm the other wins.

“You’re on, Jay.” You call as you shut your flashlight off, pocketing your phone.

You have your hands at your sides as they start to warm and glow a vibrant shade of green. Your steps are careful, using the glow to guide your feet. Back at the manor, you didn’t even need the light from your hands at one point. You had the whole place memorized from doing this with Jason which did kind of defeat some of the purpose of the blacking out the building but it served enough purpose. Plus, there are more stakes. It has the same premise as Dick’s whole thing with the blindfolds but this is more fun.

Jason is positioned at the end of the hall, carefully listening. He can see the glow of your hands which he said was cheating at first, until he realized he can also find you. He doesn’t need the glowing but it’s definitely not a bad thing to have on his end. So, he stands against the wall, watching and listening to you walk closer. His eyes track you, knowing you’ll search the full hallway before attempting the stairs. A part of him wants to dodge around you and essentially play a weird game of hide and seek but instead, he keeps his feet planted. The idea is to disarm, not to find.

Your hands stop glowing the further down the hallway you get. Jason's brows furrow, still listening to your footsteps. They echo softly no matter how light on your feet you try to be. If you know anything, it’s that Jason likes to play games. He’s going to make finding him easy the first time because that’s the point. And then you’ll have to spar it out until one of you backs off and runs off. He’s done this before so you keep walking with soft feet until you reach the end of the hallway. Jason is like a radiator. He could heat up an entire room if left there long enough so as you stand right in front of him, you can feel the space between you growing warmer.

You strike first, just missing his head as Jason grabs your arm. He spins you around as you kick your leg around his, sending you both to the ground. Jason falls on top of you, barely catching his weight on his hands to not crush you and you don’t miss a beat, crawling from under him only for Jason to grab your ankle and yank you back. Jason hears your laugh through a squeal.

“That’s a fucking ego boost.” Jason laughs with you.

“You’re not scary, sorry, Jay.” You tease, yanking your ankle free.

“Lotta people'd beg to differ." Jason defends as he hears you run off down the hallway.

“Not to me!” You sing-song, your voice echoing off the walls and staircase.

A smile stretches across Jason’s face as he shakes his head. He starts walking after you, not hearing your footsteps anymore and he knows you've hidden yourself behind some sort of corner so he’s careful with his steps.

A large part of him thought the good parts of him died and the pit kept them. It kept them in exchange for his life, maybe that’s just the price he was to pay in order to live. Someone can’t come back to life without sacrificing something. Look at Ra’s. But, over the last few days, he’s learning that may not have been in the case.

His bones still ache and something still feels hauntingly different but the good parts of him are still there. Tim didn’t even blink when Jason showed up in the alley, he was so unbothered by all of Jason’s training methods that even got you to pitch a fit every once in a while. Jason had a good time training Tim and him and you are back to doing this stupid game in the middle of the night with laughter bouncing off of the walls. He’s smiled more the last few days than he has in two months. Maybe the good parts of him aren’t entirely gone. They were just covered in guilt and remorse.

You're tucked away in a corner and you always wonder how Jason manages to be so silent as he walks. You can be quiet but you can’t even tell when he’s moving until it’s almost too late. It’s for his own protection, he’s been doing this longer, but it’s always fascinating to you and it'd be a little scary if you didn't know him. One second he’s down the hall and the next, he’s standing in front of you without ever making a sound. It’s his most intimidating quality.

But you're careful anyway, listening, focusing on your surroundings and then the hairs stand up on the back of your neck with a subtle throb starting to your right. You dodge just as Jason's fist flies through the air and you grab his arm, elbowing the inside of his arm. Jason lets out a groan and you twist it around before Jason laughs.

“It’s cute you think you still stand a chance.”

“I’ve taken you before.” You quip, holding his arm behind his back.

“You’re out of practice.” Jason chuckles, pulling his arm away before he spins back around, going to grab you but you jump back.

“So are you.” You quip.

“You sure?” Jason asks making you nearly scream. He’s right in front of you now and you didn’t feel him that time. His breath is fanning over your face and without needing to see him, you can tell he’s smirking, cheeks probably that pretty shade of pink.

“Uh-huh.” Your voice catches in your throat.

“Right.” Jason gives you this chuckle that makes you want to kiss the smirk off of his face but you know you can’t very well do that now so instead, you make your move.

You quickly slide to the right before kicking his feet from under him. Jason lands on a knee and he swipes his leg across the floor, knocking you down just as you try to run off. It’s Jason’s turn to get to his feet and find a new spot.

The two of you go back and forth like this and it’s different this time. Usually, you spar hard and you both make solid efforts to disarm the other but this time, you’re spending a lot of time hiding and running. It wasn’t so much intentional at first from either of you but the more you do it, the more you realize this is just more time to spend together. Tomorrow comes eventually and tomorrow always has some sort of surprise in it. Tonight, you don’t wanna worry about that. You spend your time in the dark, finding each other and going back forth with fists and quips.

Two hours in, Jason is hiding out on the landing of the first staircase, tucked away in the corner. The window is two feet away from him, the city lights cascading through the pains and onto the wood flooring. His eyes stay trained in front of him, hearing you from downstairs walking around. You've been looking for a few minutes and Jason is wondering if you’ll give up. And then he hears a smack and a groan from down the stairs. Jason has to stifle his own laugh, far nicer than you who burst out laughing when Jason hit the doorframe. You seem to recover okay, your steps picking up a few seconds later and he can hear you ascending the staircase.

Your steps stop right at the top.

You roll your eyes and you know damn well Jason is right behind the light of the window. He’ll be able to see you before you can see him. And if you know anything about him, you know he’s standing right in the corner, right foot lifted and pressed against the wall with his arms crossed and that stupid smirk on his lips. This game was never very fair from your perspective. You've never won. Jason’s senses have always been better, Bruce trained him well. As much as you hate the thought. You let out a sigh, take two steps forward and stand directly in the light, a taunt telling Jason to get it over with.

Jason pushes off the wall with his right foot and makes his move but he’s cautious. You do not give up, especially to him when there’s a game like this in play. He strikes first, you block him in an instant, using the light to drag him from the shadows and you get him with your knee right in his side. Jason doesn’t even flinch, throwing another hit, this time hitting you on your side. The two go back and forth, breathing turning heavy as you use the city lights to your advantage. But, it’s Jason who gets the upper hand as he almost always does, grabbing both of your wrists as you use one to try to punch him and the other to block his hands. His grip is tight and unwavering.

Jason’s chest is nearly touching yours as you look up at him. There’s a devious gleam you can make out even in the low light, the corners of his mouth perked into a subtle smirk. Your heart jumps into your throat.

“Giving up so quick?” Jason questions.

“No.” You let out a soft pout but you aren’t fighting him.

Jason can feel his heartbeat on his tongue. His grip loosens on your wrists but he doesn’t let go. Instead, his thumb rubs your skin softly, not even realizing he’s doing it. It’s been hours and he’s been having a blast and he knows she is, too. For the life of him, he can’t figure out why you both let time go by. He does know why, because it all hurt but maybe it was just getting over the hump of it all. He thinks it must be just as hard for you to overcome as it is for him. But, you both always seemed to be able to cope better around each other. It’s the understanding of every action and word that leaves your lips. The feeling that you’ll both never be alone.

Jason nods once. “Not trying very hard.” Jason whispers softly.

Last night felt so good and cathartic. Maybe you just want to live in another one of those moments for a few minutes.

“You’ll just tighten your grip.” You whisper back, watching a cheeky smirk grow on his lips.

“Doesn’t seem to bother you much.” Jason quips and his eyes glance to your lips.

What if he kisses you anyway? Just one more time. Then you can do this friend thing with the game and the banter. What if he kisses you anyway?

“No.” You answer back, glancing to his lips.

What if you kiss him? Just one more time and then you can do the whole friend like you did before. What if you kiss him?

“How’re you gonna get out of this then?” Jason quips.

Fuck it.

You lunge forward, your lips connecting with Jason’s. He groans and immediately drops your wrists as his hands come to your cheeks, pulling you closer to him. Jason melts right into you, nearly exploding at the seams with the very thought you were thinking the same thing he was.

His mouth moves with yours and you push forward until Jason’s back hits the wall. Jason grabs your hips, turning you both around so your back is pinned against the wall. He kisses down your neck, nipping and biting at the flesh. Your heartbeat skyrockets as your hand tangles into his messy hair. Your eyes are closed as a soft moan escapes your lips. Jason bites down, sucking a mark into your skin.

You pull his head back to your lips, the kiss turning sloppy and wet. Jason slides his hands under your thighs, picking you up to pin you against the wall as his knee slots into between your legs. His thigh hits just the right spot making you let out a moan into his mouth immediately followed by a groan.

You pull his hair back, getting a pretty groan from Jason before you go to his neck, leaving your own purple mark. Jason holds your hips helping you grind down against his thigh. The sound of your desperate gasps makes him want to lose his mind. He wants to surrender all control he has ever had and forget anything bad ever happened. His head is lust drunk and all he wants is you. His bulge is growing and throbbing through his sweatpants, desperately wanting free.

You feel yourself growing closer and wetter but more desperate. There’s not quite enough friction and he knows it. He knows this only ever gets you teetering on the edge but it’s never quite enough. He knows exactly what he’s doing and you want to bite him. Your pussy throbs and aches for something to fill you up.

“Jay.” You pant desperately into his mouth.

He fucking snickers.

And stills your hips.

“Jay.” Your brows pinch together as if you're in pain.

“What’s that?”Jason teases.

“Fuck. You.” You nod your head, trying to move your hips but his grip keeps you steady.

Jason leans forward, nipping up your neck making you whine. He can feel your pulse against his lips as he kisses his way up to your cheek. You feel him grin against your skin and you think your skin might set the both of you on fire.

“Say please.” Jason mocks you, whispering in your ear, his voice deep and graveled.

You think you've melted into the palms of his hands.

Jason loosens his grip slightly, allowing you to get some friction for just a few seconds before stilling your hips.

“Didn't hear ya, babe?” Jason’s eyes lock on yours with the quick raise of his brows, using all of his self-control not to cave himself.

There's a sliver of you that wants to push him, see who can actually outlast the other because you know it'll be him begging for you in about ten minutes. But, your head is swimming and your body is erupting in goosebumps. The desperation of wanting him all over you makes you lose every other thought that was once there.

You kiss him, keeping your lips close to his, pulling away just enough to speak. “Please.”

Jason doesn’t waste a single second to dropping his knee as his lips connect back with yours.

Jason pulls you with him, his back towards the second set of stairs as you both walk up them, unsteadily with your lips connected. Once you’re up the stairs, Jason is grabbing the hem of your hoodie, tugging it over you and tossing it on the floor. Jason’s hoodie is next, tossed somewhere in the dark hallway. By the time you reach Jason’s room, he’s tugging your top off and tossing it to the floor.

It’s all hasty and hot, desperate and needy as Jason pulls you to his bed. He lands on top of you, catching you to mind your fall and your hands are under his shirt. They’re warm and soft. They make him feel whole again.

The words ‘i need you’ circle his brain but never quite make it out. He needs you like he needs air. You're the breath of fresh air on the first day of spring. It’s the first day the air doesn’t hurt his lungs. You taste how the word cathartic sounds. He needs you like he needs the oxygen in his lungs.

You scratch up his back and Jason arches his back right into you. His head spins. His lips trail down to your cheek and then your neck. He leaves a second mark in his wake and your head falls fuzzy. You aren’t even entirely sure you're even here anymore. All you know is that you want him and your skin is on fire. You can’t form a single coherent thought as Jason makes his way down to your collarbone, leaving yet another mark. All you can think about his him. His mouth and his the way his teeth graze over your skin, how warm his hand is as it trails up to your breast. All you can think about is the pretty moans and groans that leave his lips as you claw his back again. You've turned to mush all over again.

He presses some kisses around where your braw cuts off, just enough to tease you before he comes back up, kissing your lips. And all you know for certain is how badly you need him. You need him today and tomorrow and every day after. Every moment with him is worth every bit of pain and agony. Every moment without him is boring and lackluster. Jason walks into a room and it’s like a color bomb explodes through the room. His laugh could light up the darkest of hallways and his eyes are the prettiest shade of green, they could convert anyway to love the color. Breathing is easier whenever he's around.

Your hands go to the hem of his shirt and try to tug it off of his head but Jason stops you, shooting up immediately. Your high immediately vanishes seeing the look of panic spread over his feature. Jason’s head comes back, still spinning but down in panic and his chest heaves. What’s he supposed to do?

“I-I’m sorry.” You shake your head, leaning up on your elbows. “I-, uh, I thought…well…I…I should have asked--”

“No.” Jason shakes his head, looking down then back to you. “It’s not…that.” Jason nearly chokes on his own words.

“What’s wrong, Jay?” Your brows tug together and even though you're the one half-naked, he’s the one feeling exposed.

Jason’s teeth grind together and he didn’t really think this far ahead. His mind was clouded with the thought of you and the desire to just have one more fucking night. His mind was clouded with the idea of chasing the feeling you shared just a few months ago. He didn’t think about this step. This part of the whole sex thing. You don’t care. You never care about scars but it hurts him.

Jason clears his throat as he brings his hands back to your hips, watching your chest quickly rise and fall with every breath. He's running through everything he could say. How is he supposed to tell you he has a thick, protruding scar from his collarbones all the way down his abdomen? That can't possibly be some sort of turn on and if anything, he's almost certain it'll send you into a spiral because it nearly does to him every damn day he looks at it. What's he supposed to say? What's he supposed to say without making you feel worse or feel like you need to push to make sure he's okay?

What's he supposed to say in order to keep this moment intact without it being just another moment tainted by painful memories?

“We can just keep doing this. Um…I-I don’t mind…if you don’t.” You try to pull in a breath. The guilt chews at your stomach. “I, uh, I don’t—“

“Y/n.” Jason cuts you off, not wanting you to spiral. “It's not that, I fucking swear.” Jason squeezes your hips and his brows twitch up with reassurance. He's just not sure if he's ready to reveal that part to you. It makes him feel guilty. He's supposed to be able to share everything with you but the shame eats at him. “I want to.” He clarifies, earning a nod from you. “It’s just…” His eyes go distant for a second before coming back to yours. “Stays on.”

You offer him a large nod and you thought it was odd he turned around before to change. Jason has never been very modest about anything ever. He has worked very hard for his chest and abs and he doesn’t mind showing off a bit, especially in front of you because he’s still a shithead. But, last night he didn’t and sitting here now, you're putting the pieces together while a piece of your heart breaks for him.

“I, uh…I know.” You nod softly, pushing yourself up to sit up fully.

Jason sits on his knees, his knees on either side of your legs.

You can't know.

“What?” Jason’s brows tug together.

“The night Crane kidnapped you, you, uh, you couldn’t get out of your gear so I had to help you.” You offer him a soft shrug. “So, uh…I just want you to know that I already know. It’s completely fine, I get it, but I wanted you to know that I already knew.”

Jason can feel his throat wanting to close and his world feels like it's closing in on him. It feels like a nightmare. He doesn't want you to know. It's embarrassing.

“You saw it?!” Jason’s voice cracks as his cheeks burn a vibrant red as he bites his own tongue to try and hide and his shame.

You nod again. “Yeah. You, uh, you were really high and I figured it would not be something you would want brought up.”

Jason shakes his head looking down. He feels tainted, ruined, a mess of broken and damaged pieces piled on the floor to be discarded and forgotten about. He's not even sure what's worse. The fact you knew and then never said anything or the fact he didn't even get a chance to make peace with it before he told you. He hates it so fucking much and it just makes him feel like the biggest failure there is. What more proof does anyone really need? He failed at being Robin, failed at taking down the Joker, failed at being a good son, failed at being a good boyfriend, he even failed at staying dead. It's just embarrassing and shameful.

You can see the gears in his head working overtime. He's going to spiral and the scar doesn't mean shit to you. Your entire back is riddled with them. Any one of those could have caused massive bleeding and killed you. The way you see it, his scars were better because most of them were just part of the job. He got them putting himself in danger for the greater good.

"I don't care, ya know?" You state with the raise of your brows and all Jason does is shake his head. "I don't fucking care about it, Jay. I know you do. Whatever the fuck you're thinking about it, you're wrong." You rest a hand on his cheek. "You don't have to take your shirt off around me if you don't want to. I get it."

"I fucking hate it." Jason states, taking your hand in his, his fingers delicate over your skin. He uses both hands to rub circles into your palm, massaging the muscles.

"For what it's worth," You let out a breath. "I don't. I don't care and I don't mind. That shit doesn't matter to me, Jay."

"I know." Jason nods his head because he knows you don't. It's something in his own head. It's just really difficult to move on from.

"So, whatever you wanna do, I don't mind." You offer him a tender smile.

Jason lets out a breath. “Thank you.” Jason says back. “Did you know? That Bruce had it done?”

“Yeah.” You pull in a breath, biting back your bitterness for Bruce. “He didn’t say why though I was screaming at him when I found out so he didn’t have much chance, I guess.”

Jason lets out a quiet but sad chuckle because even in death, you will fight tooth and nail for him. “You were screaming at him for it?”

“Well, yeah, I thought it was pointless. I figure it’s just legal reasons, maybe.” You shrug. “But I didn’t wanna hear it then.” You chuckle softly. “So, yeah, I uh, I knew he did and I knew the Pit didn’t take it away.”

It's something he's going to need to find a way to make terms with but at least, you're understanding about it. He wishes he had the opportunity to tell you himself but...he's thinking maybe this was easier. You've known and never batted an eye or said a word about it. Maybe he doesn't have to feel all that shame and embarrassment around you.

“White hair, kept all of my scars, and got the one my chest.” Jason lets out a scoff.

“Least it fixed your face.” You quip back with a cheeky smile in hopes it'll help cheer him up a bit.

You see the flash of something kind and cheeky cross over his face.

Jason drops your hand, leaning in. “What’s wrong with my face, huh?” The corner of his mouth perks into a grin and you always have a way to make him feel better about anything and everything.

Your name might as well be synonymous with catharsis.

“Did you want a list?” You raise with a smirk as you tilt your head to the right.

Jason lets out a laugh. “Fuck you.” Jason shakes his head at you and his eyes go to your lips before traveling back up to your eyes.

“Say please.” You lean in closer to him, brushing your nose against his.

Jason shakes his head, bursting at the seams with a devilish grin. His hand comes up to your cheek before he kisses you, pushing the both of you down to the bed.

“Please.” Jason nearly growls into your mouth.

Jason leans up and tugs his shirt off quickly before coming right back to your lips. Your hands tangle in his hair and give the strands a light tug. You push on his shoulder, signaling for him to roll over. You get on top before you trail down and press kisses to his cheek and then to his neck, leaving your second mark of the night.

The words ‘i love you’ bounce around Jason’s head like a pinball in a pinball machine. He’s so in love with you he thinks he might have lost all of his sanity. He did not know it was possible to feel so strongly for another person but he does. And he wants to live here forever. You make him better and he is so certain of that if not for everything that has happened but the reason that Jason doesn’t want to self-sabotage with you. It’s not worth it. You’ll fight and make up and it’ll have been for nothing. All it would do is hurt the both of you and haven’t you both been hurt enough?

You can feel Jason's hardening bulge beneath you. Without breaking the kiss, you slide your fingers into the waistband of his pants, helping him tug them down. Jason sits up, helping you get the rest of his clothes off before he flips the two of you so you're back on your back. You let out a laugh just as you always did and Jason thinks he'd never grow tired of it.

Your hands are in his hair and he can feel you smiling against his lips despite the haste of your kiss. Jason slides his hand under your back, undoing your bra before he helps you get off. His hand goes right to your right breast, pinching your nipple between his thumb and finger. You moan into his mouth as your head starts to go fuzzy all over again. You squirm under him and a grin comes to Jason's lips.

You snake your hand to his cock, wrapping your fingers around the shaft before you start pumping him slowly. Jason's mouth opens against you as his hips stutter for just a second. You start moving your arm faster and Jason's mouth trails back down to your neck. His teeth graze the skin and you think you'd let him mark every part of your body without ever putting a thought into it.

He sucks a mark into your neck.

And then another.

And another leading down the scar on your shoulder from the bullet wound.

He stops there, switching to a kiss and your stomach twists while your brain starts to turn to goo. He presses kisses back up to your lips and you're squirming under his touch as you can feel yourself growing wetter by the second. 

"Condom." You mutter against his lips before removing your hand from his cock, precum leaking from the tip.

Jason wastes no time in reaching for his nightstand to tug out a condom. You're already stripping the rest of your clothes by the time Jason has the package in his hand. 

Jason smirks down at you. "Not wasting any time, huh?"

You shrug, almost taunting him as you keep your eyes locked on his, careful not to look down at the scar. "Been a while."

Jason chuckles as heat runs over his neck. "Having withdrawal?"

"I could just do it myself." You quip back.

"Can I watch?" Jason questions and a part of you thinks he's serious.

You roll your eyes. "Maybe next time."

Jason has to clear his throat as his cock twitches with the remark. "Hold you to it." Jason mutters as he finally gets the wrapper open.

"Then I get to watch you."

Jason's eyes flash over to you as his stomach drops and spins. "Whatever you want, princess." Jason finally gets the condom on and you pull him back down to you.

His lips connect with yours, hot and fast at first, hungry as if he hasn't eaten in a month. His cock is lined up with your soaking pussy but the kiss slows and deepens. Jason's hand trails down your right thigh, delicate fingers running over your skin as goosebumps erupt over your body. You run a hand down his shoulder and to his arm, his bicep twitches under your touch.

Jason is warm and sturdy, an unwavering force that you find yourself so intertwined with, you really aren't sure how you've managed to live so much of your life without him. It always feels like he's meant to be around you like someone out there made him just for you and you were made just for him. In some ways, that's scary and feels like a big responsibility, but in others, it's comforting. It's the reassurance that it's just you and him in the end of it all. You'll get there one day. That's how it's supposed to be.

Jason pulls away, resting his forehead against yours before he starts sliding his cock into your aching pussy. The pit in your stomach grows as you start to see stars. Jason's eyes are shut and he's thinking he's left this whole plane of existence. He sinks into you slow and steady until he bottoms out.

His eyes open, locking on yours. Your fingers are lightly running up his arm and the words of 'i love you' almost spill from his lips like an overflowing cup of water. His nose brushes yours and he almost says it. He doesn't want to scare you away with piling too much on you at once. Last night and the scar tonight, he knows you're worried the Titans.

He'll tell you later.

Instead, Jason settles for something with the same meaning.

Your eyes close and the words of 'i love you' almost escape your lips like an easy breath. You brush your nose with his and you almost say it. Jason has been through a lot. You don't want to add to it, not right now. You don't want to add more pressure if he can't say it back yet. You don't want to scare him off.

You'll tell him later.

Instead, you settle for something with the same meaning.

"You and me." Jason whispers to you as he goes to kiss your cheek.

A tender smile pulls at your lips as your heart stutters in your chest. "You and me."

A smile rips through Jason's lips as his heart feels like it's just burst through his ribcage.

Jason pulls out and pushes back in, just as slow this time before he starts picking up the pace. Your mind starts swimming with his quick movements. His mouth is on yours again and you can barely keep up. Your mind is flooded with how full he's making you as your pussy clenches around him.

You try to form words, anything to tell him to keep going but nothing can form quite right, giving Jason the ego boost he doesn't exactly need. He gets the idea and doesn't lighten up. His hand grips your thigh, tugging your leg up near his hip. With the new angle, he's tapping the patch of nerves inside of you. You gasp against him, your nails digging into his back.

"J-Jay." You nearly whine into his mouth and Jason nearly finishes right there with the first word you're able to get out being his name.

"Hmm?" He hums, trying to hold his composure. "Gotta speak up, babe." Jason teases.

"H-harder." You get out.

Jason grins wickedly against your lips, doing as you asked but only for a few thrusts before he stops entirely. "Like that?"

Your eyes shoot open, pupils blow with desperation and lust. "Please."

You don't have to ask again.

Jason thrusts his hips harder and faster than before. You groan louder below him almost immediately. Your pussy is clenching around him more and more and he can tell you're getting close. He slides a hand between you, rubbing tight circles around your clit. You nearly scream with the new sensation.

You grip his hair and pull his neck closer to you just as Jason gets you to reach your high. You let out a mixed whine and moan of his name before you bite down where his shoulder meets his neck, desperately trying not to scream. Tears prick your eyes as your stomach tightens and your whole body shakes and twitches beneath Jason.

It takes everything in him not to lose himself until you're finally finished, panting below him. His hips stall against you as his head hangs in the cook of your neck, his cock twitching as he shoots his load into the condom.

Jason leans up, chest heaving and he places a kiss to your cheek and then your forehead before he rolls off of you to dispose of the condom in his bathroom.

You sit up, wrapping the blanket around you with your chest still heaving and you give Jason a tender smile as he walks back towards the bed. He grabs his clothes as you watch him and you're getting your first full view of the scar. It doesn't bother you but you understand why it bothers him. Seeing it in full, it's a harsh scar, not something that looks like it'll even fade. You think if it were you, it'd bother you, too.

Jason makes his way back to the bed, plopping back down before he leans against the pillow. His eyes are still lustblown as he gives you a soft and tired smile, and you think his eyes are filled with something you became so accustomed to. Your hand goes to his hair, brushing the white streaks away from his face. Jason’s hand grabs your hand before bringing your palm to his lips and he presses tender kisses over your hand.

“For the record,” You start as Jsaon places your hand back down. “I don’t care what scars you come home with.” You say so easily and your word choice doesn’t go unnoticed by Jason. “I know you do but I don’t…” You pause, chewing the inside of your cheek. “Just as long as you come home.” You nod a few times as your brows pinch together.

Jason sits up, his face coming just a few inches from yours. “I’m sorry I didn’t.” His voice is rough and this is a different apology than the one you got on the roof. The one you got at his safe house. There are no stakes in the apology.

“It’s not your fault.” You place a hand on his cheek and Jason leans into it. "I forgive you anyway, though."

He still wonders how you were ever able to bear it. Despite his general feeling of self-doubt and self-loathing, he knows your feelings have always been very real for him. You didn’t cope, that he knows for certain and he’s not entirely sure if you ever will. It’s something you have to make peace with just as much as he does. And he thinks about how maybe that’s an important part of you both moving forward. You forgive him for some reason but Jason doesn’t think you've accepted it yet. A part of him has, it happened to him and he’s alive. He went through it. One second, your world is moving at a steady pace and the next it’s halted, suddenly stopped with no warning and then it’s thrown in the other direction. It sounds more like whiplash. So, Jason wonders if you’ll ever hit the acceptance stage. He wonders how you were ever able to bear any of it. He knows for certain if it were him, he’d never be able to.

Your eyes are soft and tired and there’s the tiniest, adoring smile on your lips. A look Jason is privileged enough to be the only one to receive. And he thinks about he’d never be able to bear the loss of you. It rips him to shreds. It would take all of the remaining good parts of him and shatter them. He’d never recover if something happened to you. Even if it's beyond his control. It’s terrifying feeling that way about another person.

Jason nods against you before he presses a kiss to the palm of your hand. “Yeah…” He lets out a breath. “Thanks for sticking around.”

“Thanks for letting me.” You smile softly. "You and me?"

Jason offers the same smile back. "You and me." Jason confirms. “You still gonna talk to Leslie?” Jason asks as you pull your hand away.

You nod softly. “Yeah. If she has anything open.”

Jason gives you a soft smile. “Good.” He nods softly. He sits back up all the way, looking to his doorway. “Gonna grab your clothes.” Jason chuckles softly, tossing his shirt over his head before he gets up.

You watch Jason disappear through the doorway and you're quick to grab his pillow, checking to see if he’s replaced the knife with a gun. Your chest warms with the sight of your blue switchblade still locked and lying under his pillow. It’s a relief he hasn’t put the gun back. Your thoughts are jolted as fabric hits your face.

“Hey!” You yell through a laugh, your clothes falling into your lap.

“Fucking nosey ass.” Jason nods his head at you, making his way back to the bed with his hoodie in hand.

“You’re an interesting person to be nosey about.” You shrug as you get the blanket off of your shoulders. You can feel the tiredness weighing on your bones and you know if you don't head home soon, you'll end up staying here. As much as you really want to, you do not want to overstay your welcome. “Well,” You sigh as you tug your shirt over your head. “I should probably head home.” You laugh softly, seeing the orange light of sunrise seeping through Jason’s window.

“Guess so.” Jason nearly pouts at the thought. He never wants you to leave but he doesn't want you to feel obligated to always stay just because you're here late. You'll be back here later anyway. “Still gonna help me today?” Jason’s eyes are hopeful and big.

“Of course.” You laugh softly, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. “I’ll just sleep for a few hours and how about we like one?” You ask. “We’ll both be out of it if we don’t get some sleep.”

“Yeah, yeah, alright.” Jason says in agreement. “Want an escort home?” He asks but you can tell by the way he raises of his brows and the way he's already moving to get up, it's not really an offer. He's going to do it anyway.

“Thank you.” You stand up, putting the rest of your clothes on. "Just get some sleep when you get back, okay?"

Jason nods with a grin. "Of course. Gotta be well-rested hanging out with you."

"I can not help you." You quip as you grab your bag.

"Sorry." Jason lets out a chuckle.

"Let's just go." Your eyes widen at him to tease him before Jason gestures towards the door for you to lead the way.

prev. chapter

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

Tag List: @fairyofshampoo // @italiana-20 // @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai //

@makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss // @ghostkingblake // @im-done-with-this-im-out //

@velvetskies // @lilylovelyxo // @cryinghotmesss // @yesimwriting // @vivian-555 //

@stainedstardom // @baebeepeach // @legend-o-zelda // @harleycao //  @somehow-lovable-trash  // 

@xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx // @deyja-the-duck // @jasontoddslover // @captainmarvels-blog // @totallynotkaibiased //

@scarlovesyou // @whydoyoucare866 // @littlemeowmeow1000 // @ginger24880 // @urmomsgayforme5 //

@septixtrash // @kplatzman // @killxz // @lovefks // @laurelthesimp //

@strawberryforks // @mxtokko // @kolpvii // @adorabluesposts // @jasontoddthings //

@bbiaa420 // @todorokiskitten // @krishavania

[callsign-dexter]

Fireside Romance 18+

Request: I just love the very present Kelly spam on your blog too much that I'm gonna send in an idea as well ! My bday is on the weekend, but I feel bad for all the other request before me. So you don't need to do it right now ❤️

Maybe something where you're just new at Firehouse 51 and Shays new partner on 61, and also hers and Kelly's new roommate. He wasn't happy about that in the first place but after he gets to know you he can't think of a better person to live with and you 3 get really close friends. One time you're alone with Kelly, when your nasty ex finds out where you live and shows up. As Kelly opens the door your ex starts making a scene about another guy living with you, but Kelly gets into protective mode and takes care of the situation not letting him near you and making him leave again fast. Then he sees you being a bit overwhelmed by the situation so he hugs you immediately and you relax into his arms, feeling butterflies all inside you, that he stood up for you and that adding to your already present crush on him. Taking advantage of the situation you kiss him, which he returns and somehow you end up in his bed where Shay later finds you both cuddled up together naked and she fist bumps herself cause she knew that would happen and she'll mock you first thing in the morning about that? 🤭

Omg I'm so sorry it's so long !!!!

Pairings: Kelly Severide x Paramedic!Reader

Warnings: angst, domestic abuse done by OC, drinking, fluff, smut, swearing

Masterlist

A/N: @talesofreading and @imagine-all-the-fandoms I hope you're prepared for some Kelly Severide smut.....

A/N 2: Happy 6 month belated birthday! So sorry it is so late!

Leslie Shay has been your long-time best friend, like so long that you both would consider each other sisters. She was the one to push you to go to school to become a paramedic, you had shown that you were capable and you loved helping people. She was a few years older than you so she had already been through the schooling and had been at 51 longer than you. After you finished your schooling and went through the fire academy you were placed with Firehouse 51 as a paramedic with Shay and to say you both were beyond excited was an understatement. You quickly made friends with everyone on the team including Kelly Severide when you went in to meet everyone.

When you were placed at Firehouse 51 as a paramedic you were in a seriously bad relationship but you had a place to stay but that was about to quickly change. You just started working there a week ago when your living situation was no more. Shay and you had talked about it and how abusive your boyfriend was. You wanted to break up with him and move out but had nowhere to go until she suggested you move in with Kelly and her. She promised that she would talk to Kelly about it and let you know, you thanked her profusely.

 You had just gotten off work but stayed behind while the others went off to Molly’s because there was some paperwork stuff that needed to be taken care of with HR so by the time you were out of there you were getting home late. As you were driving home you ran into some traffic which made you even more late and that made you nervous. You tried calling your boyfriend, Taylor Hadley, but it went straight to voicemail and you left them but knew he would never listen to them but you still gave some sort of notification. You finally pulled into your apartment complex and walked into the building and took the elevator to your floor. When it dinged and you got out and started to walk towards your apartment everything was silent and that scared you. You took your key out and unlocked the door and was immediately met with the smell of alcohol and there was Taylor leaning against the wall arms crossed with a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand. “Where the fuck were you?” He asked in a demanding tone.

“I was down at the firehouse filling out some paperwork. I told you I was doing that this morning.” You said 

“No, the fuck you didn’t.” He growled out and then threw the bottle at your head which had you ducking but the glass shattered and nicked you and the rest of the contents went everywhere and on to you.

“You’ve been drinking. I did tell you this morning.” You said not daring to move. 

“No, the reason you’re so late is because you’re cheating on me!” He said, stalking closer to you. 

“No no I wasn't, I swear. I was at the firehouse. You can call down there and ask them.” You said as he was face to face with you. He didn’t say anything but instead slapped you hard across the face, he was strong so it sent you crashing into the side table. Tears sprang to your eyes as you braced yourself on the table. 

“You fucking bitch! Always fucking lying to me!” He growled out and grabbed you by your hair. You grabbed his hands and then threw you into the floor. Tears fell down your face.

“I’m not lying. I swear. I would never cheat on you like you do to me.” You said and that was a mistake and you knew it was a mistake and you wished you could take it back. His foot came in contact with your ribs and you could feel a couple of them break. You tried to protect yourself but that just made it worse. He was grabbing you by the hair again and bringing you to your feet. You were out of breath and you couldn’t catch it. He made a fist and punched you and blood instantly started to pour out of your nose, which meant that he broke it. He grabbed your throat and your airway was instantly cut off and he just continued to squeeze until you were almost blacking out. He backed you up in a glass cabinet and it shattered on contact and you could feel glass digging into you. He laid a few more punches into you and then he was throwing you down on the ground one more time and the air rushed back to you but it didn’t last long because he was kicking you in the stomach. 

“Stupid bitch!” He yelled out and then he was storming out of the apartment leaving you there bleeding and crying. You pulled yourself up and steadied yourself on the wall until you got to your purse and then you were falling down on the ground with your purse. You pulled out your phone and dialed 911 as you were starting to fade in and out of unconsciousness.

“911 what is your emergency?” The dispatcher asked.

“My boyfriend just attacked me.” You slurred 

“Is he there now?” They asked again.

“No, he he stormed out. He’s been drinking. He slammed me into glass, punched me several times, kicked me in the ribs and stomach. I’m bleeding a lot. I need help.” You said and you told your name, address, and the name of your boyfriend and then you were passing out. 

*******************

“What do you think about adding a roommate?” Shay asked Kelly as they were sitting down on the couch.

“Why would we need a roommate?” He asked

“Well, rent is going up and having another person would help with that and help. Also, groceries are going up and having a third person splitting it would help too.” She said 

“We don’t need a roommate; we have everything under control.” He said he liked his space but having a third person might help out. She didn’t get a reply because her phone was ringing and she was quick to pull out and she frowned and Kelly took notice of this. “Everything ok?” He asked.

“Med is calling me.” She said and she was quick to answer it.

“Shay, it’s Maggie. A Y/N Y/L/N was just brought in and you were listed as her ICE number in her phone.” Maggie Lockwood said

“Is she alright?” Shay asked, already getting up and rushing to grab everything she needed.

“No. She came in unconscious and that is all I can tell you until you get here.” Maggie said

“I’ll be down there as quick as I can be.” She said 

“We’ll see when you get down here.” Maggie said and then they were hanging up. 

“Everything ok?” Kelly asked

“No, Y/N is at Med.” She said, slipping her coat on and grabbing her keys.

“Y/N, the new paramedic that just started working there a week ago?” Kelly asked

“Yes, I got to go.” Shay said and was rushing off leaving Kelly there at the apartment alone. 

Shay got to the hospital in record time and was parking and rushing in. She ran up to the receptionist desk and was about to start asking where you were but the voice of Will Halstead quickly called out her name “Shay.” He said and she looked up and he was waving her over.

“Will what the fuck happened?” She asked and he was guiding her to your room. He didn’t say anything as he stopped outside of your room and she looked through the window and saw you and her heart broke she turned to Will.

“She was brought in with multiple lacerations, a broken nose, several broken ribs, internal bleeding which we had to go in and fix which we just got down with, and she also had strangulation marks around her neck. It was bad. We almost lost her once on the table. I had to get Jay involved.” Will said and Shay was speechless. It was so bad that he had to get his brother, Jay Halstead, involved.

“Do they have anything?” She asked

“No, they are waiting for her to wake up to get more information.” He said and Shay nodded. “If anything happens or if she wakes up. Let a nurse know and I will be down here.” He said and she nodded and then he was patting her on the shoulder and leaving. She walked into your room and pulled up a chair and sat down. 

“What the hell happened?” She asked, sighing not expecting an answer. She took your appearance in.

*********

The next time you were coming to you were in a hospital with blinding lights shining down in your eyes. You squinted and tried to move but everything hurt and tears sprang to your eyes. “Hey don’t move. You had some pretty serious surgery.” A familiar voice said and you opened your eyes to find Shay there sitting next to your bed. 

“Shay?” You asked in a hoarse voice.

“Hey, it’s ok.” She said getting up and leaning over you, blocking the light and pressing the call button. The nurse came on and she told them that you were awake.

“What happened?” You asked and she smiled sadly at you.

“I was going to ask you the same things. What do you remember?” She asked

“I remember coming home late from the station working on some HR stuff. I was late. He was drinking and started yelling and I was defending myself and he didn’t like that and then he was getting violent.” You said straining to remember. Just then Will was coming in along with Jay and Hailey Upton and Dr. Daniel Charles, you didn’t know him.

“Hey, Y/N. How are you feeling?” Will asked

“Sore.” You said and he smiled.

“You had a pretty big surgery.” He said “Jay and Hailey have some questions for you. Dr. Charles is here in support as well.” He added.

“Hi, I’m Dr. Charles and I’m the physicists here.” He said 

“You don’t have to tell us anything. You also don’t have to have anybody in her while he questions you.” Jay said and you nodded.

“I’m ok with everyone in the room.” You said and everyone smiled.

“Remember you don’t have to answer these. You also have every right to stop the questioning if you get overwhelmed.” Hailey said and you nodded.

“Do you remember what happened?” Jay asked and you nodded.

“Yes, I do.” You said

“As best as you can tell us what happened.” Hailey said and you looked at Shay and she smiled and nodded at you giving you an encouraging nod.

“I was down at the fire station working on some paperwork for HR by the time I left it was late. As I was driving home, I got caught in traffic. I tried to call Taylor on my phone through Bluetooth when I was stopped at a red light. He didn’t answer so I left a message.” You said and took a deep breath and started getting tensed and the heart monitor started to rise and Dr. Charles took notice of this. 

“Do you want to take a break?” Dr. Charles asked and you shook your head.

“No. I’m ok. Do I have to tell you the exact word for word he said?” You asked

“No, you don’t have to but you can if you want. It would help.” Hailey said 

“He asked me “Where the fuck were you?” in a demanding tone. I told him that I was down at the firehouse filling out some paperwork. I told him that morning.” You said. He said no growled “No the fuck you didn’t.” He then threw the bottle at my head which had I ducked but the glass shattered and nicked me and the alcohol went everywhere and on me.” You said

“Which would explain the smell of alcohol.” Will said and you nodded and then continued.

“I told him that he had been drinking and that I did tell him this morning.” You said. “He accused me of cheating and that was the reason I was late. He stalked closer to me. I told him no that I wasn't and that I swear. I told him I was at the firehouse. I told him that he could call down there and ask them.” You said “He didn’t say anything but instead slapped me hard across the face, it sent me crashing into the side table. I remember tears sprang to my eyes as I braced myself on the table. He yelled “You fucking bitch! Always fucking lying to me!” and grabbed me by my hair. I grabbed his hands and then he threw me into the floor. Tears fell down my face. I told him “I’m not lying. I swear. I would never cheat on you like you do to me.” I knew that was a mistake and I wished you could take it back. His foot came in contact with my ribs and I could feel a couple of them break.” You said and Will nodded confirming this. I remember trying to protect myself but that just made it worse. He was grabbing me by the hair again and bringing me to my feet. I remember being out of breath and I couldn’t catch it. He made a fist and punched me. I remember the blood instantly started to pour out of my nose. He grabbed my throat and my airway was instantly cut off and he just continued to squeeze until I was almost blacking out. He backed me up in a glass cabinet and it shattered on contact and I could feel glass digging into you. He laid a few more punches into me and then he threw me down on the ground one more time and the air rushed back to me because he let go of my throat but it didn’t last long because he was kicking me in the stomach.” You said and again Will nodded.

“Which would cause internal bleeding and cause you have to have surgery. It ruptured your kidney and it had to be removed.” Will said and Jay nodded as he wrote that down. 

“Are you good to continue?” Dr. Charles asked and you nodded.

“I remember him yelling “Stupid bitch!” Then he stormed out of the apartment leaving me there bleeding and crying. I remember pulling myself up and steadying myself on the wall until I got to my purse and then I fell down on the ground with it. I remember pulling my phone and dialing 911. I told them everything while starting to fade in and out of unconsciousness.” You finished and Dr. Charles was smiling.

“That was very good. Most domestic abuse patients wouldn’t want to give up their significant other.” He said

“He’s been doing it for 4 years.” You whispered 

“Do you mind if we take pictures?” Jay asked

“I don’t mind. I only want Hailey and Shay.” You said and they nodded and everyone else walked out of the room. She took the pictures quickly and then they were welcomed back in.

“We will put this man away.” Hailey said and you nodded and then they were leaving and now it was just Will, Shay, and Dr. Charles with you. Will and Dr. Charles talked to you a little more and then they were leaving.

“Do you have a place to stay?” Shay asked and you were silent and shrugged.

“I don’t know.” You said

“I will talk to Kelly.” She said and you nodded. She stayed for a few more minutes and then she was leaving bidding you a goodbye.

*********

When Shay arrived home, she was determined to move you in. When she got into the apartment Kelly was just plating food. “Hey.” He said looking up and seeing her.

“Hey.” She said

“Is Y/N ok?” He asked

“No.” She said as he handed her a plate of food.

“What happened?” He asked 

“Her boyfriend beat her up pretty badly. Bad enough to land her in the hospital.” She said and Kelly was actually mad. “I know you said you didn’t want a roommate but she has nowhere else to go. We have the extra room and she can make the payments.” Shay said and Kelly sighed he didn’t want a roommate but he couldn’t let you go back to that situation

“You’re right I don’t want a roommate but I can’t leave someone homeless or going back to a bad situation. She can move in.” He said and she sighed and hugged him after she put her plate down and he was fixing his.

“Thank you so much.” She said, the next time she saw you she told you that Kelly agreed and you were so grateful. You gave them the key and they went to pick your stuff up. It wasn’t much and that actually saddened them both. 

2 days before you got out of the hospital Jay and Hailey were coming in and telling you that your boyfriend, now ex, had been arrested and that he had been charged with domestic abuse and DUI. They had strong evidence against him. 

When you got out and to your new apartment your stuff had been put in the extra bedroom. Shay helped you unpack and once everything was done you joined them in the living room. “Thank you for letting me move in.” You said mostly to Kelly.

“I’m so glad to have you here.” Shay said

“You’re welcome.” Kelly said not sounding too enthusiastic but you took it. 

*********

3 months into living with them, Kelly had been getting to know you more and you doing just the little things and some big things helped and that made him slowly getting into having you as a roommate. He was also falling in love with you and you were falling in love with him too.

*

1 month

 It started out with you replacing everything that was low on stock into a month of living with them. You noticed that most of Kelly’s stuff was low so you, being a good roommate, stocked up on his stuff more and just stuff in the apartment in general. You were also having weekly sessions with Dr. Charles and weren’t there to see Kelly’s face when he noticed that everything of his and Shay’s stuff and some stuff that was hard to find like his and Shay’s favorite coffee creamer. 

Kelly and Shay had just got off work and it was a rough shift. You had taken a personal day off of your three-day shift and it was approved especially after what happened. You were at the hospital having an appointment with Dr. Charles. Kelly stormed in with Shay walking in behind him. The apartment smelled nice and it felt warm like a home. This shocked them both and they looked at each other then they saw the note: “Hey, guys I’m going to be gone for a few hours. Don’t wait up for me. I have some stuff I need to get off my chest.” 

“I’m going to take a shower.” Kelly murmured and Shay nodded as he walked into his bathroom, he noticed that fresh towels were hung up and when he looked into the shower, he noticed that his favorite shampoo and body wash were restocked. “How? It is so hard to find this.” He asked himself as he picked up the bottle. Kelly was slowly starting to come around to having a roommate but he wasn’t yet fully convinced. When Kelly had gotten out of the shower and changed, he heard laughter in the living room. He went out to see what was going on, he saw that you and Shay were on the couch laughing. You were laughing and turned your head to find him standing there and you smiled at him.

“Hey, Kelly.” You said smiling at him. 

“Hey, you have a good session with Dr. Charles?” He asked and you smiled at him and nodded as he walked in and sat on the chair beside the couch.

“I did. I was having a hard time with something about Taylor and it was stopping me from doing things” You said and he nodded and then you got to talking again but one question was on his mind when the current conversation came to an end he decided to ask the question.

“I have a question for you.” Kelly said and you turned to him and smiled and nodded as a go ahead. “I noticed that our stuff was stocked and some of the stuff is hard to find. How did you find it?” He asked and you smiled at him.

“I found them at this really small shop. They only carry the hard-to-find things. I’ve actually been looking for months around places and when I find them, I buy everything and then I found this place and boom there it was.” You explained and he nodded. 

“While we are asking questions. What did you do to make it smell so good in here? We couldn’t get that musty smell out of here.” Shay asked

“I used to clean a lot and while I was off, I deep cleaned. I also got some plugins and plugged them in the high traffic places. I wasn’t going to get a candle warmer because too many fires happen with those.” You said and they both nodded. Kelly couldn’t help falling further in love with you and how good of a roommate you were being. 

*

2 months

The three of you were at work and for once it wasn’t busy. Everyone was doing their own thing and even though the three of you were together at home you three were alone together at work. Rent was coming up and you wanting to be a good roommate actually went ahead and paid it all. “I haven’t noticed that the rent bill hasn’t come.” Kelly said.

“You know I’ve noticed that too.” Shay said and you were being quiet and they noticed this. “Have you noticed it too?” Shay asked.

“I paid it.” You said taking a sip of your hot chocolate.

“What?” They both asked and you nodded.

“Yes, I paid it. I wanted to show you how much I appreciated you guys letting me live with you so I went ahead and paid it all.” You said looking at your roommates.

“Y/N you didn’t have to do that.” Kelly said “We are roommates, we pay for the bills and food equally.” He said and Shay nodded.

“I know but I wanted to do it.” You said now feeling guilty for it. “I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” You said feeling guilty. You felt so guilty that you decided to just leave feeling like they were angry at you and the look on your face broke Kelly he wasn’t trying to be mean he was just surprised. He and Shay looked at each other.

“Did I just make her upset?” He asked 

“I think we both did.” She said

“I’ll go find her.” Kelly said and she nodded.

“Ok.” She said she was going to offer to go with him but she knew that he liked you and maybe this would help you both get closer to each other. So, Kelly went on the search for you, he checked everywhere and couldn’t find you until he decided to check outside and there, he found you sitting on the firetrucks bumper that had been moved out to be cleaned. 

“Y/N.” Kelly said when he saw you and you looked up at him and you looked terrified and he hated that. “We didn’t mean to make it sound like we were mad at you. We were just surprised.” He said and you nodded. “Why did you do it? I’m curious.” He asked.

“I wanted to show my appreciation for you both letting me move in with you. I can afford it.” You said

“I’m not saying you can't. We appreciate it but we’re roommates and we split everything.” He said and you nodded.

“I know. It’s just how I was raised.” You said

“How so?” He asked and then you were moving so he could sit and he did.

“Believe it or not I come from a wealthy family. We get along great and the way we show appreciation. When someone finds out I have money whether it be male or female they either want to be my friend and use me for money or date me for my money and then they show their true colors.” You said and he nodded and listened and as he was talking to you, he was falling in love with you and as a roommate. You two talked until the bell was ringing.

*

3 months

By the third month of you living with them Kelly was 100% ok with having you as a roommate. He was also 100% ready to take it to the next level with you and he was planning to ask you out soon but that and among other things happened so much quicker. Since you moved in you cut all ties with Taylor and you thought he would be gone for good and that he was in jail but apparently had gotten out and you were shocked when you heard the news but he didn’t know where you lived, at least you didn’t think he did. You also had a restraining order against him.

It was just you and Kelly at the apartment since Shay had a date and was going to be gone for the rest of the evening until the morning. You and Kelly had been lounging on the couch when there was a knock on the door “Stay put. I got it.” He said getting up and walking to the door as you paused the show that you two were currently watching. You heard the door open “Can I help you?” Kelly asked.

“Oh, so she’s already moved in with another guy? It’s only been three months.” The familiar voice of none other than your ex-boyfriend, Taylor Hadley, sounded and you froze. You were quick to get up and go to the door but stopped far enough away but Taylor could see you.

“You need to leave.” Kelly said 

“No, I came back for what is rightfully mine.” He growled out and that made Kelly’s blood boil.

“She is not yours anymore. You need to leave.” He said blocking the entrance way. Kelly was a lot bigger than Taylor and he could easily take him down with one push. Taylor seemed to move on from Kelly and focused his attention on you.

“You’re such a fucking bitch. Sleeping with every guy you come across, especially that cop that arrested me. I’m going to teach you a lesson for cheating on me.” He said and tried to come in but was met with a wall of Kelly and he was quickly pushing him out. Throughout the whole deal you were as silent as you could be quickly becoming overwhelmed with his presence.

“It’s time for you to fucking leave. You’re not welcome here.” He said and pushed him out into the hallway and shut the door quickly and locked it. He pulled out his phone and made a quick text to Jay. Kelly turned to look at you and you were wide eyed and staring straight ahead and shaking slightly. He was quick to walk over to you and take you into his arms hugging you. “Hey, it’s ok. I got you.” He said into your ear and you hugged him back. After being in his arms for a few minutes you pulled away slightly and that caused him to look at you. You both stared into each other’s eyes and suddenly you were leaning in and kissing him. At first, he was frozen shocked but very quickly got over that and kissed you with so much passion that the only time you broke apart was when you needed air. Both out of breath you stared at each other and his eyes were hungry and he was quickly kissing you again and picking you up which made you squeal into his mouth and then he started moving towards his bedroom. You both kissed each hungrily, teeth clashing with each other tongues battling for dominance. As he entered his room and shut the door to where it was only a crack.

Kelly walked to his bed and when he was there, he slowly laid you down on the bed and was overing your body with his broad one. The heat was quickly rising but you didn’t want to stop. Clothes were quickly shed until you were both nude in front of each other. He went back to kissing you and you could feel his erection on your thigh. Kelly ran his hands up and down your body and his kisses trailed to your neck where you leaned it to the side moaning. “I love you.” You moaned out and he stopped and looked at you and that made you look at him.

“Seriously?” He asked and you nodded.

“Seriously.” You said and smiled and kissed you hard.

“I love you too.” He said when he broke the kiss. He brought his cock to the entrance and once it was seated there, he slowly eased himself into you and you moaned welcoming the stretch. It was painful at first but it soon turned into pleasure. He was bigger in length and girth than any of your exs, especially Taylor. 

“Fuck you’re so big. Stretching me so well. I always imagined being in bed with you and how big you were but you exceeded my expectations.” You said and he smirked into your neck.

“I’m glad I could exceed those expectations.” He said and he started to move which made you moan.

“Oh fuck!” You yelled out in pleasure.

“You’re taking me so well. Squeezing me so tight.” He moaned and in turn you squeezed him and he groaned. “Keep doing that and I won’t last long.” He growled out and that sent shivers, good shivers, up your spine. “You’re my good girl.” He moaned out and that made you wet. As he thrusted into you and made you see stars, in a good way, each time he moved inside you made you fall in love with him more and that familiar knot started to grow. Nails dug into his arms which were holding his broad body up from crushing you. 

“You’re making me feel so good, Kels. Don’t stop.” You moaned and he smirked.

“I don’t plan on it. Not now. Not ever.” He said and thrusted into you.

“Please go faster.” You moaned 

“Your wish is my command.” He said and picked up his pace and that just brought more pleasure to you.

“Oh fuck! I’m close, Baby. So, close!” You yelled out and he didn’t care that you were being loud he wanted to let everyone hear he was the one making you feel this good. 

“Who is making you feel this good?” He asked 

“You.” You moaned 

“Say my name.” He growled out.

“Kelly! Kelly is making me feel good!” You screamed out and he smirked.

“Damn right. Are you going to be my good girl and come for me?” He asked

“Yes!” You moaned out loudly as he brought one hand to your clit, leaving him resting his body weight on hand which was not a problem for him, and started to rub it vigorously which sent waves of pleasure throughout you. 

“Come for me, Sweetheart.” He said and as he spoke and that added pressure on your clit did you in and that knot exploded and you were coming hard and squeezed him tightly.

“Oh fuck!” You yelled out as you came and he was close behind you painting your walls white with his cum. Both of you were sweaty and out of breath as he slowly and gently pulled out of you as he pulled back the covers. He pulled them up and you shimmed under them and he laid them over your naked bodies. You cuddled into him, face in his chest and he wrapped his arms around you. “I meant when I said I loved you. I have fallen in love with you over these 3 months.” You said he searched his face as he smiled.

“I’ve fallen in love with you romantically and as a roommate over these 3 months too. To be honest I didn’t want a roommate but having you as one has been perfect. I want you to be my girlfriend and take you out on a date.” He said and you smiled.

“I would love that. Although we skipped some steps.” You said chuckling and he chuckled too.

“We did but it was worth it.” He said and you smiled and nodded.

“Definitely was.” You said and yawned.

“Get some sleep. I’ll be here in the morning.” He said and you nodded and you closed your eyes and fell to sleep. As soon as he felt you breathe even out and that is when he allowed himself to fall asleep.

The next morning Shay was rolling into the apartment early and was confused when she didn’t hear the two of you up and her eyebrows furrowed. So, she went on a mission to find out where the two of you were. Both vehicles were here and you both clearly weren’t in the kitchen, dining room, living room, and she couldn’t imagine why you both would be in her room but she checked anyway. She then checked your room and the both of you weren’t there. A smile grew on her face as she was starting to pieces as there was one last room to check. The door was cracked and she silently opened it and there the two of you were naked cuddled together sound to sleep and she was overcome with joy. She backed out moving the door back to where it was beforehand and made her hand into a fist and fist bumped the air. All along she wanted you to move and the two of you fall in love and after 3 months it happened. She made her way to the kitchen and started to make coffee. 

You were slowly waking up and at first confused as to where you were and who was holding you but you quickly remembered and smiled at the memories that came flooding back from last night. You looked at the peaceful look on Kelly’s face and slowly leaned up and kissed his lips and he squinted in his sleep but he was slowly waking up. He cracked his eyes open to find you smiling at him. “Good morning.” You whispered.

“Good morning.” He replied in a gruff voice, smiling.

“Last night was wonderful. I never knew sex could feel so good.” You said and he kissed you.

“I will make you feel good every night for as long as you let me.” He said and you smiled.

“Please.” You said 

“Gladly. Want some pancakes?” He asked and you nodded as your stomach growled.

“Yes.” You said and he kissed you one more time before he was getting up and pulling on his boxers and sweatpants and you admired his god-like body and then you were rolling out of bed and pulling on your underwear and grabbing Kelly’s discarded t-shirt that came down to your thighs and covered everything. Kelly watched you the entire time.

“You look good in my shirt. You should wear my clothes all the time.” He said and you smiled.

“As long as you will let me.” You said and he smiled and then you two kissed each other and headed out of the living room and into the kitchen. As you were nearing the kitchen bacon was heard sizzling and as you walked in there was Shay fixing breakfast.

“Good morning love birds. Have a good night last night?” She said smirking and you blushed and Kelly smirked.

“We sure did.” He said and you smacked his chest but you couldn’t help but agree.

“Soooo how did it happen?” She asked

“Taylor found out where I lived and tried to start something and broke his restraining order and it just went from there.” You said as she handed you a plate of food and Kelly a plate of food. You both went to sit down next to each other and then she was bringing drinks over.

“I have to say I’m really glad that she became our roommate.” Kelly said and she smiled.

“She really is the best.” Shay said

“Stop you guys.” You said and Kelly chuckled.

“She’s telling the truth.” He said as he took a bite of his food and so did you. As the three of you ate and talked about everything you could feel Kelly’s hand on your bare thigh and you looked up at him and he was fully focused in a conversation with Shay and you listened loving hearing them talk but you were just enjoying his hand on your thigh and being close to him. As Shay looked down at her phone looking at and still talking Kelly looked over to you and into your eyes, his eyes were filled with love and so were yours. 

“I love you.” He mouthed and you smiled at him.

“I love you too.” You mouthed back and he smiled and you honestly meant it. You couldn’t wait to spend more time with him as your boyfriend. 

Tag list:

@kmc1989

@els-marvelvsp

@atarmychick007

@nyx2021

@grandstrangerphantom

@angenu01-blog

@talesofreading

[deadpool15]

Sugarbaby vibes ✨️

I walked out of the fitting room wearing the shit Chanel set. Let's be honest I looked to fucking die for, but once I saw the price it looked mid. Of course I wanted it and speaking of price it's Chanel what did I expect. If anything I suggested, let's go thrifting, as you can tell I didn't grow up with money. I'm still trying to get used to living this life now, it's crazy hoe just last week I was struggling to afford a pack of fucking Ramen at the convenience store and now I live in a penthouse. Your girl did, in fact, come up in life. You all better be proud. All thanks to the one and only Bada Lee.

Bada is about 28, and I'm 22, so there is a slight age gap if you care about any of that. Shit I didn't. I just needed someone to pay my bills. How we met it quite an interesting story if you think about it, I mean, I didn't sign up for a sugar mama like on the weird ass movies or stories you see on Wattpad. I was, in fact, working as a waiter in this high-end restaurant with might I add a shitty pay. Why are we serving all this expensive ass shit and in only getting made a few bucks in an hour? It's giving slavery, and not mentions my boss who, like most men, convince himself within the 3 minutes of hiring me that I was destined to be his furtre wife and the mother of his children as he call it. If you wanted to know what crazy looks like, we'll Mr. Kim is a prime example.

But we are getting of topic. See, I don't wanna tell you about my overly obsessive ass boss. I wanna tell you about the women who turned my life around. Serving tables is absolute shit, especially when no matter how rich one is, they never tip. "Hey Blue, bossman says he needs you at table six." I turned around to my partner in crime, Leslie. I'm happy to see her until I realized what she said, "I'm on break, though, like all these people around here . Can't he bother someone else." She gave me a sad smile and shrugged, "no, you know he likes to watch you suffer, because he expects after a while you will give in and let him take you out on a date." I stare at her with disgust.

"Yea, never mind your you're right. I'll take my chances with the wolves again. I'm just get going. If he asks again, make sure to tell him I chose getting screamed and yelled at my rich elderly woman over acknowledging his existence. " I hurried and jog off before she could say anything, grabbing my notepad and pen out of my pocket I had towards table six. With the biggest fake smile on. The love I have for these customers is crazy.

I stand there saying my usual line in the most chipper voice one can muster, whiteout even looking at the person sitting down in front of me. "Hello, ladies and gentlemen. I'm blue and very happy to serve you tonight. So what can I get, you folks?" I hear someone speak before muttering something about how I'm pretty, then I finally gather the courage to look up and see a group of women. All dressed to perfection, clothes tailored just to fit their figure. Those majority of them look around my age or slightly older. After a moment of being caught in a daze while overanlyzing them, I turn to her the tallest one of the bun speak up. "I would like to have a water to drink and just some shrimp pasta."

I make eye contact with her and my God. This is the most beautiful creature I've ever seen in my life. It almost feels like i should have to pay a fee to look upon her face. My stare moves down to her lips and not e how nice and pump they are. I would kill to suck on those lips, to feel what they tasted like even. I realize I've just been staring at her while the rest of the women have spoken uo about their order already. "Oo, I'm s-so sorry." I state being an absolute nervous wreck while looking down at my notepad. I hope she didn't notice that. "It's fine, sweetheart," I heard the girl that was referred to ad Lusher somewhere in the conversation state to me. I hurry up and excuse myself to go get their orders. She keeps staring at me, bitting the inner part of her check. Eventually, they leave after a while, leaving a $200 tip for me. I almost couldn't believe it. This I'd the first time someone has ever given me that much money as a tip.

After a while, the girl continues to come to our little restaurant. Same table, same confidence aura and everything. She makes it seem as if she is trying to just get something to eat. We continue to see each other even after work. She would pop in on my breaks, and around the time, I would clock out. She was intimidating. I'll get her that. I spoke with class, and her vibe just let you know she had money. And it seemed she had her eyes on a certain girl. Me. Though, after beating around the bush, Bada told me exactly what she wanted. "I want to take care of you. You'll never have to worry about a single thing when you're with me. Or lift a finger. Give you the life you deserve, baby. I mean, you are a cute little waitress, but you can be so much more. Why waste your time when you have me. Just say the words, and I'll take care of you."

Some might've immediately said yes, and to be honest, I would've to. Until Bada told me there were rules. Which did kinda throw me off a bit. I mean, I thought I had the whole idea down until well, I realized I didn't. It wasn't just about the money it was the pleasure. How much would she give me, and fuck did she give me a lot. Well lived by only a few rules, but Bada took them very seriously.

Rule 1: Don't question anything

Rule 2: Don't talk back

Rule 3: Don't touch yourself

You should've seen the look on my face when I heard the third rule, I mean, at the bright age of 22, who the hell doesn't masturbate. Literally made no sense to me until she tried to explain it further. "I give you pleasure. I'm the only one who should be touching you. I'm general baby. You belong entirely to me. That's how this works. Therefore, you shouldn't be doing anything without my permission cupcake." After finally going over the terms, I agreed in the end. At the end of the day, I was a broke college student who desperately needed the money, and Bada just so happens to be the sexy older one willing to give it to me. In a sense, I was happy with my current predicament. My life was going well. Now, back to what I was saying earlier.

I stared at myself in the mirror. Sometimes, I forget that I can look this good. "Yea, ayye, get it, girl." In the process of hyping myself up, I finally hear a voice speak up from behind me, scaring the absolute shit out of me. "I'm glad you like it, baby. It does look good on you, I told you I have an eye for beautiful things. I mean, just look at my baby girl." She says while holding on to my waist, kissing my neck slowly. I smile for a while until I realize what she is doing. "Baby, we are in public, a fitting room at that. We aren't doing that here," I say, trying to be firm while avoiding her glaze in the mirror.

"What did I tell you about saying no to me, huh? Do you make the rules?" She forcefully grabbed my chin when she caught on to the act. She grabs my breast while still making eye contact with me in the mirror. "That's right, just stand right here, ok? Gonna be my good girl, right?" I stare at the door, thinking about the people outside that will hear us. While I'm thinking about them, Bada moved the hand that was holding me under my top, slowly circling my right nipple. "Gonna be good, right?" She asks again,she never has enough patience to ask again. It seems she is being nice today. I nod my head at her question this time.

"Word babygirl, I need to hear you. Let them hear you. Just stop all that thinking for me." I whimper at her words. Finally, forgetting about the staff in the store. She moves her hand down my body, teasing me with her pace. "P-please, I'll be g-good. Gonna be so good for you." She smirks, looking down at my face before moving her hand towards my soaked pussy. "Always so f-fucking good for me, aren't you? My precious little baby. Just needs to be filled, like always." I look into her eyes in the mirror about to answer her before she insert a finger into me, all while still playing with my breasts. She knows my body like the back of her hand. Doesn't even have to try to find the spot.

"Yea, right there, come on. I can't hear you, baby girl." I know exactly the game she is playing at, but I can only stand there moaning like a bitch in heat being held on my weak jelly-like legs as she adds two more fingers. While she grinds her hips into me, fuck those bloody dancers and there hips. "Y-yes y-yes... shit o fuck right there". She just smiles at my reactions. Assuming to her if anything. "Were gonna buy this little outfit, then I'm gonna by 28 fucking more just to fuck the shit out of you in them. And you gonna let me, aren't you?. Gonna take it like a good girl who just needs her holes filled, right?" I shake my head, screaming yes over and over again while nodding profusely. Seems that's the only word my brain can come up with as she starts to suck down on my neck leaving marks while circling my clit with her thumbs. And she still continues to thrust those same three fingers in and out of me ob command.

"Fucked you dumb, aww that's adorable baby. But we just started, " She says while smirking, and I stare at her in a mix of fear and pleasure. "Now open those legs wider for me, baby girl."

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

03/30/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR: Ruibo Qian; Rhys Darby; AdoptOurCrew; CoolPirates/Trans Day of Visibility; Fan Spotlight; Kudoboard Last Call; Watch Party Reminders; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Tonight's Taika

Hope your weekends going well luvs! I know it's almost over for some of you, and others have one more day to go!

== Ruibo Qian ==

Our Pirate Queen is absolutely just slaying today.

Source: Ruibo Qian's Instagram

= Rhys Darby =

Rhys and Finn Darby did an interview at the Whammy Bar in NZ! Wanna see the video? Visit Stuff.co.nz

In addition, Rosie caught them in the newspaper!

Source: Rosie's IG Stories

== Adopt Our Crew ==

Our dear friends at #AdoptOurCrew have posted a lovely letter to all our trans and non-binary cast, crew and fandom!

@adoptourcrew Twitter

＝＝Cool Pirates ==

Lots more trans and non-binary cast, crew and fan crew spotlight today!

= Madeleine Sami =

IMDB Link

The Sami Sisters

= Zayre Ferrer =

Inevitable Foundation

Zayre Imdb

= Zackery Alexzander Stephens =

IMDB Page

Outmuseam

ZackeryStephens.com

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Cast Cards =

Tonight's cast card is Toneey Acevedo! You may remember him as one of the tribal elders in episode 2 of season 1 who was helping Stede cope! So good to see him getting highlighted, thank you darling @melvisik!

= Final Glow Up Bracket! =

Our dear crewmate @thesparklyfkingpirate has been doing the #ofmdglowup for #marchmadness this month. I have been meaning to post about it for a week now and kept getting distracted. Sorry hon! Looks like it's down to the final two! Stede and Izzy! Source: TheSparklyFkingPirate's IG

== Kudoboards Last Call! =

REMINDER! KUDOBOARDS close on the 31st. 

Go send the cast and crew some love folks!

David Jenkins

Nathan Foad

Con O'Neill

Ruibo Qian

Leslie F*cking Jones!

Matthew Maher

Vico Ortiz

Samson Kayo

Alex "Ass Tonight" Sherman!

David Fane

Gypsy Taylor

Kristian "Wee John Wondays" Nairn!

Samba "BTS and Baking King" Schutte!

Fellow OFMD Fan Crew!

== Watch Party Reminders ==

Movie: Boy Date: Sunday March 31st at Time: 10am EST / 2pm GMT. We're watching Boy (2010) Hosted By: @tillychmo & @regg_official Location / Hastags: TBA

== Love Notes ==

Hello my lovelies! How are you holding up? It's almost the end of March, which is pretty darn hard to believe.

I really hope that you're out there having a good day. I hope your heart and burdens are a little less heavy today, even if they're not weightless. I hope you get a chance to take care of yourself even a little bit, whether that's a shower, or a meal, or a walk outside (or raiding the local target for discount chocolate)-- you deserve a break, and to get a chance to feel like you again.

Remember to love yourself my dears, just like we love you. You deserve all the darn love this crazy world has to offer. I hope you can see that, if not today, one day soon.

Src: @allontheboard Instagram

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

Tonight's Theme: Video Games! For those of you who ship #Freemanji

Daily Darby Courtesy of @neonpigeons

Tonight's Taika Courtesy of @aanakin

[slasher-male-wife]

What slashers do on their s/o's birthday

So today is my birthday. I'm officially 17 and I wanted to celebrate with a fic for myself and any other April babies. I hope y'all enjoy this.

Includes: Carrie White, Michael Myers, Leslie Vernon, Candyman, Norman Bates and Jesse Cromeans

Warnings: Implied stalking in Leslie's part

Carrie White

She's going to bake you whatever cake you want her to make. She's going to go all out for you on your birthday. Like she's putting effort into making this for you.

A gift from her is going to be a special birthday outfit that she made. She had you pick out the pattern and the fabric beforehand and gives it to you to wear on your birthday.

Also probably makes you a card. That or she writes a very heart felt note in a card she bought in her cursive hand writing.

She's also cooking you your favorite dinner. Whatever it is you want she'll make it for you. She's never had a special birthday that she got to celebrate so she wants to make it special for you.

I also feel like she'd be more open to physical affection on your birthday. She's a more reserved person so her holding you hand or giving you a kiss on the cheek is a big deal to her, but she's doing it because you mean so much to her.

Michael Myers

Might not remember that it's your birthday. He's a kind of busy guy who's already doing a lot by not killing you and being your boyfriend so he doesn't think it's a big deal if he forgets.

He in general doesn't understand why people celebrate birthdays. He thinks it's a little dumb but he's not going to say that, or really anything, to you.

When you remind him, he goes out and steals a gift for you. Something he's heard you mention before. Most likely from someones house. But if he's feeling like it he might steal it from a store.

If you're really close to him he'll put a tag with his name on it. It's going to be horrible hand writing that you could barely read but him writing "from Michael" is something really special.

If you have a cake on your birthday he'll happily eat some with you. Depending on how close you are, he might lift up his mask and eat it in the same room as you but it really depends on how long he's known you.

Leslie Vernon

He's been planning this since he first laid his eyes on you. At first you were going to be a victim but he ended up catching feelings for you and now you're dating. But that hasn't stopped him from learning everything about you.

He's going to be a bit of an asshole and act like he doesn't know that it's your birthday. He's going to act like it's a normal day and ask you to go out and get something so he can set up a surprise for you.

That surprise being something that you've wanted for a very long time. Whatever it is he finds a way to get it for you and sets it up while you're out of the house.

Also buys you a cake. He tried to make one himself but he was so bad at it that he had to throw it away and clean up half the kitchen.

He also does try to scare you a little bit. He just likes scaring people and you're one of them. He's sorry about it afterwards if you didn't like it but he thought it would be funny.

Candy man

He doesn't know his birthday, even if he did when he was alive he'd probably forget it by now. But he always remembers your birthday, for as long as you're with him he'll remember it.

I feel like he didn't know how to write when he was alive but in the afterlife he learned how to, meaning he's going to write you a lengthy love poem. He's going to be detailing everything he loves about you in this poem and more.

He's also getting you flowers, partly because of his bees, partly because he's a classic romantic. He's not getting you just any flowers either. He's stealing you your favorite flowers.

He's also taking you out on a date. A non-traditional one because, well he's an undead man who has supernatural powers. But it's still nice. Probably a walk around at night somewhere romantic.

I feel like he doesn't eat food because he doesn't need to but if you have cake for your birthday he's happy to sit with you and enjoy it together.

Norman Bates

He has your birthday marked on his calendar the moment he realizes that he loves you. He double checks before writing it down on his calendar and having a countdown.

He's going to make you breakfast in bed. Whatever your favorite breakfast foods are he's going to make them for you and serve you in bed, but he's going to stress not to get crumbs on the bed.

Like Leslie he's getting you a special gift that you've been talking a lot about. Anything that you really want he's going to get for you one way or another.

He's probably going to buy you a cake. He might make one and if he does it turns out pretty good because it was his mothers recipe. But he might get too anxious to actually do that so he's going to most likely buy a cake for you.

Like Carrie he's going to be more physically affectionate too. He'll be pretty nervous the first time he holds your hand for an extended period of time but he ends up craving more physical affection.

Jesse Cromeans

He's going to spoil you the entire day, no matter if you want him to or not. This man has money to burn he's not going to let you act like you don't deserve to be treated.

He either buys you gifts you've wanted or just gives you a ton of money to go shopping with him. He'll probably find some subtle way to ask you before your birthday and plan according to that.

He also takes you out to whatever fancy restaurant you want to go to. He's a rich and powerful man so he can get his assistant to get you two a table at whatever restaurant you want to go to.

If you want a cake for your birthday he gets the best bakery nearby to make you one according to your exact desires. He writes down exactly what you want and has his assistant help with getting it done.

You know how people put cash in cards for your birthday? Jesse stuffs way too much cash in your card. As if all of what he's doing today isn't enough, you're getting at least 3,000 dollars in your birthday card.

[totallytatum]

summary ; joel shows back up to lovers quarrel with unexpected cargo and an unexpected present waiting for him.

pairing ; joel x reader

warning ; grief, heartache, not sure, head my warning

tease ; " you just left. " " yes. that was an asshole move. i'm sorry. " a/n ; so part to for you little tator tots, i tried to push this out quickly while part one is still fresh in your mind. i hope it meets to you every heart desire. i'm still learning my writing and do write most of my stories of very short sentence prompts. requests are open so if there's something you'd like to see, let ya girl know. i hope everyone got tagged correctly. your thoughts whether they're good or bad is always appreciated. i tried pushing this out as quickly and as thoughtful as i could but i had writers block for hours unsure how i wanted to go with this.

part one

" joel? "

your heart thrashed in your chest, pounding in your ears. you feel as if you could vomit right there. unsure of what to do, unsure of what your feeling. grief, heartbreak, anger? you became frozen in your thoughts, your heart sinking into an unknown pit of agony as you stared at the two outside the fence. blinking yourself back to reality, you looked over at nicholas, ushering him to let them in. your heart ached seeing him here, he was suppose to come back for you and four years later he didn't show up until today. sucking in a breath, and batting back the tears, you waved an arm toward joel and his guest. " bill and frank will want to see you but just a heads up, frank isn't doing to well..he hasn't been. " you sighed, hoping the appearance of joel will brighten the mans spirits. taking a breath, you released the anxiety that had rippled through your body moments ago. you needed to buy yourself time. you weren't prepared for the sudden drop in from joel four fucking years later.

taking the memorized path to bill and frank's it was agonizingly quiet. no one said a word but the girl he had with him, usually muttering something under her breath. pushing open the fence to the men's home, you smiled, greeting frank on the porch who painted. " afternoon frank, how you feeling so far today? got you a special someone i'm hoping that will clear up these sunday blues. "

his eyes glanced over at the three figures walking his way, pushing the gate open and up the steps, you planted a small kiss on his cheek. " joel! long time no see, been what? a million years? " frank chuckled out and small smile laying on his lips. joel huffed a chuckle out, " only what it feels like huh? " it was silent after frank courted a small nod, mumbling about ' yeah sure does. '

you dusted your hands off your pants, feeling your hands clammy with the tension. it was tough you could cut it with a knife. " well if you won't excuse me, i have to go, thomas will be needing me soon. " you gave frank a pat on the shoulder, heading down the steps. a small nod to joel and his guest, " i'll be at the white house at the end of the street if you guys need anything but i think leslie might be the best bet to help. " pushing the gate open and closing it behind you, you. a small wave goodbye and you headed down to your house.

--

tucked into bed, thomas snuggled deep into your side, gripping the soft fabric of your shirt. you laid there, exhausted but with a million thoughts running through head, your fingers messing with the bangs of your toddler. his soft breathing and relaxed face breaks your heart more as you realized how much joel has missed out on his child, how much tomas has missed out on his father. but the sadness turns into anger. but are you more angry at joel for leaving or more angry you didn't tell him before he left, leaving you to raise him alone in this cruel world. you rolled over onto your side, leaning your head against your child's, studying his face. if joel laid eyes on thomas he would know instantly that he belonged to him, the similar features on his face laid upon thomas's. you brushed your fingers across his cheek, planting a small kiss on his head before shifting out of the bed.

you weren't going to bed, not anytime soon anyways. you grabbed your rob before making your way down the creaking stairs, hoping thomas was in a deep enough sleep to not be woken up. you grabbed a small glass of water from the kitchen before making your way out the front door, not shutting it fully behind you. the cool breeze of the mid night air wrapped around your legs, causing you to shiver slightly. you sat your cup down on the small side table by the porch swing, sitting down and sighing. one leg hanging off the swing your pushed the porch, swinging slightly becoming lost in your own thoughts.

" y/n, " the voice was rough but in a hushed town, so lost in your own mind, you didn't see joel making his way up the porch, " couldn't sleep? " you shook your head, " not, not really. you? " " no, i reckon not. don't sleep much these days anymore though. may i? " he asks, motioning to the swing. you move your leg, straightening up on the swing. it was an awkward silence, internally wanting to get up and go inside to completely avoid him at all costs. you cleared your throat, shifting nervously, " did you find what you were look for out there? did you ever find him? " joel interlocked his fingers, staring at the ground and nodding slightly before glancing at you, " yeah, i did. he's um married now, got a family. he's doin' alright for himself. " a family, he has a family. something you yearned for, something for thomas. " that's good " you muttered out, avoiding looking at him. your heart ached, it felt empty. you just wanted to reach out and touch joel, to feel the longing feeling of love from him. you missed him, you missed everything about him, the rough exterior but the soft side he only showed you. the air shifted as joel leaned back, swallow hard, " bill and frank talked a lot about you and someone named thomas. i'm glad you found someone. " you snorted, laughing slightly as much as it pained you. did he really think you moved on? that you just forgot about him when he never came back? " you just left. " he rubbed his chin, taking a deep breath. " yeah. that was an asshole move. i'm sorry. " " no- you just left and never came back, like you promised. you promised you'd come back and you didn't. you left me here to raise thomas on my own. you never fucking came back. "

joel's face scrunched in confusion, " wait- thomas isn't- you're not- what the fuck. so you didn't find someone? " you scoffed, standing up from the swing, turning your back to him. " no joel, i didn't. i waited you said you were coming back, you never showed and i ended up raising my child. our child on my own. " panic struck inside his chest, his heart pounding. for the first time since sarah's accident, joel felt scared. terrified. the thought of being a dad against never crossed his mind, he never wanted to be a dad again, not in this world. maybe if the world went back to normal, he could see himself settling down again. you grabbed the handle of the door, pushing it open, " i wanted to tell you joel, the day you left. but you didn't love me like i loved you so i didn't pry. thomas had me, he has me. i raised him while my heart was broke. i put a smile on my face everyday and worked my ass off for thomas to have a normal and simple life. i was alone. that's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend. " you went to shut the door behind you, but the palm of his hand stopped the door, " i love you y/n. i lied. i thought about you every damn day. i thought about turning around so many times. " your heart broke more, you were uneasy, not sure to believe his words, " you can't come back and just say these things! " your voice was hushed and it lingered with venom., " i was alone. do you not realize this. i'm all he has and he's all i have. "

joel shook his head, reaching for your hand, " no " you huffed, choking back tears, eyes focused anywhere but him. your breath was uneasy and heavy. " look at me, " he demanded, moving his hands to your neck, cupping your face and using his thumbs to brush against your cheek. you looked up with glossy eyes, meeting his through your eyelashes. " we're going to do this together, alright? i'm done leaving your behind. that was a mistake i regret every fucking day of my life. " your hands moved for your sides to his shirt, gripping it tightly. his thumb brushed your bottom lip before his pressed his against yours, every wall you had put up faltered, your guard was down and you were vulnerable.

" i'm never leaving you again. "

tag list ; @amazonabxtch @kyuupidwrites @sloanexx @rosecoloredlenses708 @julesjewelss36 @chloelmao67 @bby-lupin @koremis @onlyrealjoy

[infernalodie]

𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐘 || 𝐑𝐮𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐭

“𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘚𝘪𝘴', 𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘐'𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘬𝘪𝘯 𝘚𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘸𝘦 𝘢𝘪𝘯'𝘵 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯“

Inspo: Tyler, The Creator - SORRY NOT SORRY

Pairing: Rue Bennett x Bennett!Male!reader

Summary: You were sorry, but they made you this way...

Warnings: angst

Words: 2068

Rue couldn’t remember a moment that she saw you happy. It was a myth. Something told in books or journals. And in part, she considered everyone’s fault, including hers. But she never liked admitting it. She never liked staring at you, her older brother, and seeing where she destroyed you. She can pinpoint each flash of attitude being partly her fuck up.

But she wouldn’t take all the blame. Leslie fucked up with raising you. Gia fucked up by nagging you and placing her resentment onto you. And Rue? Well, she fucked you up with the drugs.

That led to now, you sitting opposite her at the dinner table and blocking out whatever conversation was happening between Lesilie and Gia. Something about school and a project Gia was doing with one of her friends. And you kept your eyes focused on your food, ignoring the faint glances from either woman toward you.

You didn’t want to be here. Rue knew this very early before you walked through the door. She also knew that living in the city hadn’t made you homesick judging by the fragrance that clung to your skin and clothes. Or the golden Rolex cuffed around your wrist. You didn’t need to keep this connection with any of them, but you were here. That’s what Rue was stuck on.

“How’s work been, Y/n?” Leslie finally turned her attention to you, a smile on her lips that was genuine.

You glanced up at her for a moment before taking a bite from your steak. “Fine.”

Then there was that familiar silence that fell over the dining room. No one said a word as the unpleasantry took its place. And it took a few moments for Leslie to recover, forcing that smile back on and humming. “Anything interesting going on? How have you and Elliot been-”

By the time she brought up Elliot, your fork rattled against the plate. Enabling the silence to reappear with a far tenser aura radiating from it. You had to squeeze your hand, fisting the tablecloth. “Why are you making small talk? There has to be a reason why you asked me to come back out here?” You speculated, turning your gaze to your mother.

She was perplexed by the straightforward and snappy questions. Looking to Alie, who was sitting at the other end of the table to your left. Neither of you had shared a word or spared a look. And you preferred it that way since you weren’t planning on staying much longer after this dinner.

But Leslie cleared her throat, carefully placing her fork down and clasping her hands in her lap. “I need your help-” Before she could even finish, you scoffed and tossed your cloth into the center of the table.

Rue watched the fabric soak up the gravy, unable to see the similarities it shared with the growing tension in the room. How it was absorbing and growing damper in the mood that she had hoped would be uplifting. A possible event she could chalk up to being a celebration of her recovery. But with the way your eyes were burning into Leslie’s, that hope had been thrown out of the window.

“This is what it was all about, huh? You need my fucking help with bills?” You barked. “You got a man at the table.” You motioned to Ali. “Why the fuck do you need me?”

“Uh, we aren’t even-”

“No one’s talking to, asshat!” The insult made Leslie slam her on the table, trying to control her breathing.

“Use some damn manners when there are guests,”  Leslie exclaimed, making you sigh. “And if you’d like to know, Ali has been helping your sister with her recovery. Way more than you ever have.”

An unapologetic laugh fell from your lips. “Oh? So that’s my fault?” You questioned. “Is Dad’s death my fault now? Hmm?”

That was the final straw for Leslie, who sat up so fast her chair toppled over. Pointing her finger at you and exclaiming, “That’s enough out of you! All you’ve been is arrogant and ungrateful for what I’ve given you!”

“You want to try and guilt trip me and shit? Bitch, I fucking made what I have by myself,” you countered. “I worked for racist assholes at the mill so we could have food on the table. You gave birth to 2 dysfunctional kids that were going to kill themselves!”

“Y/n, that’s enough-!”

“I had to leave before Rue’s drug use had me reaching for the gun!” You continued. You placed weights on my back when dad died and now it’s my fault that I don’t come around? You are a grown-ass woman. Fucking act like it!”

Gia was quietly crying as Rue tried to comfort her little sister. Staring up at the two prolific adults in her life. Two that wouldn’t let her or Gia catch a break. Two people who acted like children and couldn’t put their bullshit aside to enjoy a simple dinner.

And Rue loved you. She appreciated the moments when she got to spend time with you. Going to the movies together, going to Dad’s grave, you being there for her when she was itching for a pill. But this constant bickering that was going on between you and Mom was getting excessive.

You scoffed, standing up and saying, “Man, fuck this shit.” About to walk out of the dining room, you stopped short and turned around. “Oh, and I’m sorry that 4 minutes with me had been such a chore for you to not rely on your kids to pull the weight millions of others have to deal with on their own!” You laughed, raising your arms from your side. “You ain’t shit without me! Without Dad! You are a worthless, spineless, piece of shit!”

That was Ali’s moment to stand up and speak. “You shouldn’t speak to your mother like that, young blood.”

All you could do is look at him with a raised brow. “And who the fuck are you? You’re my sister’s sponsor, right? Does being a sponsor also mean coming into the house and fucking my mom?” Rue sighed, about to speak, but you raised your hand. “Nah, fuck that! Are you gonna tell me that you know what I am going through? That you know trauma?” You laughed, shoving the man back. “You and none of us are special. Everybody got problems and mine come from the bitch that brought me into this world!”

Tears from the past rising to the surface were brought back as you placed your hands on your chest. “I’m sorry I wasn’t pretentious. I’m sorry I wasn’t going to go out of my way to make you proud of me.” You breathed in deeply, shaking your head. “But seeking validation from someone who invalidates you is stupid as fuck. And you call me arrogant because you haven’t experienced a moment of feeling great. Guess what? Since I’ve taken you out of my life, shit has never been fucking better!”

And like that, you were walking out of the house that was in disarray and pent-up emotions that none of them thought they had. Rue was quick to stand to her feet, ignore her mother’s calls and chased after you.

“Caring about you is so fucking complicated.” The statement made you stop. Frowning and turning your head to stare at your sister, who had tears brimming in her eyes.

“What-”

“One minute I want to love you and the next I want to strangle you to the death,” Rue spat. “You’re making things more difficult than they need to be.”

“Rue-”

“No!” She exclaimed. “I talk and you listen, all right?” After a moment, you inhaled profoundly and nodded with a exhale.

“Ever since you left, shit has been hard on Gia. I hate to admit it, but it also has for me.” She ran a hand through her curly strands and shook her head. “But I’ve found this station where I can finally be happy without any pills. I finally recovered. And some part of me thought that you would be willing to put all the bullshit aside and just be there for me.”

Sighing, she waved her hand. “Come around, don’t. I don’t care anymore, okay? But, please for the love of God, just be civil and figure your shit out with Mom,” she said. “You two are destroying the family more by fighting with Mom all the time.”

“You can’t act as if none of this shit matters,” you defended. “She is asking me to pull a weight for her that I cut when I left. And pulling in Ali, who I respect, truly, but what the fuck? She wants me to sit there and act like he isn’t sitting in Dad’s seat?”

“You don’t think I know that? You think I don’t understand what you’re feeling?” She questioned harshly. The tears she’d managed to keep below were rising and spilling over her crystalized vision. Rubbing them harshly in an attempt to suppress or hide the fact that all of this was falling apart in front of her.

Rue never wanted to cry. Not when it came to you. Leaving as you did. Seemingly moving on with your life and putting her, Gia, and your mom in the rearview as you pursued a career that could keep you living a life you never got. And she would never hold that against you. You went for your goals and you got them but left everyone else behind. Of course, you brought Elliot along for the ride because you two were high school sweethearts. But she held resentment toward her old friend and you for having a better life without her.

Exhaling shakily, Rue shook her head. “I wake up and put his sweater on every day. And that’s all it takes for me to be reminded of what we all lost,” she said. “But I dug myself out of the hole I put myself in. And here I was thinking that maybe we all could be a family. To be what we were before Dad died.” Licking her lips, she sniffled. “But I can see I was wrong.”

All you could do is stare at your sister, who had given up on showing the pain she felt. The genuine grief that had struck her all those years ago and how they still had some sort of leeching effect on her. But she also showed you that she made something of herself and that even if it may not correlate with her redemption quest of recovery, you could take her for inspiration. Make right by Gia and try and rekindle a relationship with your mother.

But she wasn’t giving you enough time to form a statement or apology for her. Turning around and slowly made her way to the door where hushed whispers could be heard from Ali and Leslie. Preparing herself for the belligerent comments from her mother about you.

“Rue!” The girl licked her lips, turning around and finding you smiling softly at her. “I’m happy you’re back to your old self, kiddo. No one can make me feel like a piece of shit like you can.”

And finally, after so long, she smiled. Laughing and walking over, being engulfed by your arms that took her into your warm embrace. Inhaling the mahogany wooden collagen you always wore since you two were kids. Originating from your guys’ dad’s personal preferences, and now it had carried down to you, who matched the scent.

Pulling away, she met your gaze and your hands held her face. “I’ll do what I can for you and Gia. Even if it ends with me keeping in touch with you two, I’ll help pay for things, be there for important moments, and drive down when I can,” you explained. “But you need to understand Rue, that there might be a chance that Mom and I don’t repair things.” You watched her sigh in slight disappointment. So, you tilted your head, meeting her gaze once more. “Can you live with that? Because I’m sorry that I hurt you and Gia, but I’m not sorry for what I said about her.”

And Rue took a second. Lips pursing in the compilation of a decision she was responsible for making. But when she did, she smiled, nodding. “I can do that.”

[ladytauria]

tauria if youre taking requests for whumpmas can i throw my hat in for sprained ankle with jaytim? i dislocated, relocated, and severely sprained my ankle two weeks ago and id love to live vicariously through jaytim comfort 😩

!! i hope your ankle is doing better, bean!! sorry this is so late ^^;

this... did not end up being very whumpy or hurt/comfort-y. but i hope you enjoy the boys being dumb <3

(also! i am always happy to take requests related to prompt lists or not <333)

>> AO3 <<

“If you’re going to boss me around like this, you could at least wear a nurse’s uniform,” Tim grouses.

His ankle is balanced on the arm of the couch and cradled in ice. Jason’s fingers caress the swollen skin before coming down to settle on his calf as he kneels next to the couch. His hand is a warm, solid weight that has no right to feel as good as it does. 

He’s joking… mostly. He’d pay a lot—and he does mean a lot—of money to see Jason in an actual sexy nurse’s costume. The short white dress, especially one of the ones with a zipper, exposing the swell of Jason’s pecs… the tight white skirt clinging to his thighs. Red boots… And a cute little cap to top it off.

Tim salivates just thinking about it.

(Although, if he was going to dress Jason in anything… The original Robin panties are at the top of the list. And then it’s a tie between a maid uniform and a schoolgirl’s.)

Jason snorts.“Tell you what,” he says. “If you follow all o’ Leslie and Alfie’s advice… I’ll wear one after you’re cleared for physical activity.”

Oh… Tempting. Very tempting. But— “You’re just saying that because you think I’ll fail,” he accuses. Otherwise, no way would his boyfriend, Jason Todd, agree to dress up in a sexy little costume for him. Tim asked him to keep his holsters on one night and the man turned into a blushing mess.

It was adorable, yeah, but it meant Jason wasn’t exactly the type to just… Offer something like that with a straight face.

“History is workin’ against you,” he agrees. A light blush steals over his face. “But, yanno. Anythin’ can happen. If… If you can follow most of their advice… I’ll wear the uniform.”

Tim hums, considering. When—not if—Tim wins, Jason will probably show up in scrubs, because he thinks he’s hilarious. (Sometimes he is, to be fair.) Jokes on him though. Tim probably wouldn’t pay quite as much money to see that, but he’d still be willing to pay an exorbitant amount.

Hnn… Just the idea of sucking Jason off through a pair of scrubs, or bending him over a bed, pulling them down so he can rim him…

Hot.

Either way, Tim wins.

“You’re on,” he says, sticking out his hand. “You want to claim something if I lose?”

Jason shakes. “Sure. If you lose, you have to do whatever I say for a week.”

“That implies I get a week of the uniform,” Tim counters.

Jason turns a brighter shade of pink, nearing red. “Three days.”

Tim smiles beatifically. “Three days,” he agrees.

He’s going to be the best patient Leslie has ever had.

[royjamieprompts]

Super whump jamie centric prompt / trigger warning for CSA, SA, james tartt and zava being assholes. It could be RJ/RJK (but also would love soft Will being present somehow and I love coach Bear and Jamie silent supportive relationship) ................................................................................................... ................................................................................................... I just have the icks every time I see the way Zava is around Jamie, both the way he touches him and talks to him, so I couldn't help but think of a scenario in which those touches go slightly beyond what is in canon and into sexual harassment and assault (grabbing him in inappropriate places, threatening him, making sexual gestures, and general violence like grabbing him at the back of his head like in the weight room) etc. Now from Jamie's POV he first of all struggles with "learned silence" and is unable to enforce boundaries (which is a very common thing among survivors of CSA and we're assuming he's not ever said anything about Amsterdam and this is pre-bike ride with Roy + he's canonically bad at setting boundaries with his own father and already has an off relationship with his own body #LCA). He also doesn't want to antagonize the team again since they're finally friends again and they're all super into Zava so he just really struggles every day with Zava being a piece of shit to him, everyone loving his abuser, even the coaches not taking his suggestion when he puts it out as "for the good of the team" etc

Maybe he finds support in an expected figure like Trent Crimm or Leslie or Will (my heart has a soft spot for Jamie and Will cuddling, a couple of puppies!) or Dr OSullivan or Dr Sharon.

To make it even worse, but it's not really part of the main prompt I guess, there would be something even more awful that could have happened aka either Denbo/Bug (who are aware of Amsterdam) harassing him once back in Manchester (threatening to tell Georgie or making jokes about maybe Jamie not liking it cause it was a woman) or someone at Man City academy (like a doctor or a physio - I feel weird it being a coach because then it'd make the royjamie of it all very hard to explore - who sees Jamie struggling post-Amsterdam, being irritable and sad and zoning out and who gets him to open up) actually betraying that trust and taking advantage of him and him being unable to speak up about it both because he just did and look what happened, but also, of course, because of shame surrounding it (and it having happened again) and not wanting to cause pain to Georgie and not wanting to be kicked out of the team like he's being threatened. So you can see how this all would cause even more conflict in Jamie wanting to speak up about Zava to the coaches at Richmond.

(Sorry for the angst! It would all, of course, need a good those of hurt/comfort because that is what we live for in the end. This is just the bad stuff of the prompt, but it can go in any direction in terms of how he does bring it up and recovery and getting help and the RJ/RJK of it all).

Zava gives me bad vibes all around, and he definitely pushes Jamie's boundaries in ways that make Jamie uncomfortable, so, unfortunately, yeah, I could see this happening, making the whole Zava arc even worse for Jamie.

I hope that all the coaches, not just Roy, find out about it because I need them all to realize that Jamie was right about Zava from the get go. I will forever be bitter at the show for the conclusion of the Zava arc being that he left himself and not that the coaches realized he was ruining the whole team's dynamic exactly like Jamie said he would. And this would make it soooo much worse.

[crow-collective15]

Chapter 5 of “Leslie’s slow decline into madness”

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

Chapter 5

I stare out the car window on the way to the funeral.

It wasn’t raining, it was bright and sunny. Lester would’ve been sad to know his funeral was on a sunny day. He always wanted a funeral in the rain, for dramatic effect.

At the funeral home I saw way more people than I expected. People I never met.

I was anxious around the people but I tried not to pay attention. Instead eating strawberries. They had been Lester’s favorite snack so we had tons of them.

I ended up talking to one of the people who I didn’t know. He introduced himself as lyre.

“I’m sorry about the loss of your brother,” lyre said, he looked almost guilty. I wondered why.

“No, don’t apologize. You didn’t kill him.” I slightly laughed. Coping with dark humor.

Lyre glanced around nervously before laughing as well, he looked rather awkward.

“Well, still. I hope you’ve been holding up alright,” lyre responded.

“Does talking to walls count as alright?” I ask, to which lyre only shrugs.

The conversation ended there. I felt a bit weird about lyre but I just moved on, I felt weird about a lot of things right now.

I talked to a lot of people who I didn’t know. A set of siblings: will, Austin and Kayla. They were sweet, but Kayla looked familiar to me and I couldn’t figure it out. I ignored that weird feeling too.

I talked about the concept of death with someone named Nico. He was actually really helpful and helped me calm down even in the slightest. “Death happens eventually to everyone. I know it’s so cliche, but it’s gonna be ok eventually. I know how it feels to lose a sibling.”

He also played Mythomagic to so we talked about that for a while. It was something I understood like the back of my hand and it helped to talk about something I understood.

There was a little girl, said her name was Meg. She put a hyacinth on Lester and gave me a potted plant; “so you won’t be as lonely, it can’t replace your brother but it’s something at least!” She told me. It was also a hyacinth.

I held that plant the whole day.

I certainly watered it with my tears.

I can’t remember his service, I just know I cried the whole thing.

I had written out a poem he liked and placed it in his coffin along with my mythomagic figure of his favorite god, Hermes. He liked him because tricks and pranks and shenanigans were some of his favorite things.

At the graveyard I helped shovel the dirt over the coffin.

Staring at his grave I broke down again. Seeing his name in stone made it real.

Long after the funeral was over I sat talking to the grave. As if having a conversation.

Then lyre was there, He just appeared.

“Oh- uhm- sorry hi.” I scrambled to form coherent sentences.

Lyre just sat next to me. After a few minutes of awkward silence he started talking: “I am responsible for his death.” He said.

I blink, “what?”

“Earlier you said not to apologize because it wasn’t my fault, but it was. My name isn’t Lyre, my name is Apollo, and I am responsible for the death of lester.” He took a breath. “I don’t usually tell Mortals about the world of gods, but your life was ruined by it so you are owed an explanation.”

I stare at her. “Explain,” I say sharply.

“I am the god Apollo. I’m sure you know what that means from your little card game-“ I cut her off, “mythomagic.”

“-yes that. How do I put this… I recently went through ‘trials’ of sorts, my father, Zeus made me mortal in the body of Lester papadopoulos. Which is why he disappeared and eventually died. When I ascended to Olympus I can only assume his body couldn’t handle the amount of divine power and burnt to his death. So, young Leslie, I can do nothing but apologize to you,” lyre- Apollo explained to me.

“… with all the weird monsters I’ve been seeing I can’t even say I don’t believe you,” I say, dumbfounded.

Apollo sighs. “If I could bring Lester back, I would, but I can’t.” He takes a breath. “I must be leaving now, goodbye, Leslie papadopoulos.” And he disappears in a puff of gold.

I was mad. Horribly mad. I look at my brothers grave. “Lester. I will make sure he doesn’t just- just move on without caring about what. I swear that to you. I love you.” I hug his grave.

And thus begins my insanity.

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

And we are not yet over. One or two more chapters to go!

[itookyoudown]

For the character ask game will you do the whole Lexington team?

i accept this challenge 😈

let's do this speedrun style.

LEXINGTON LAWMEN LET'S GO

Art

How I feel about this character: he's ... all right! i think he's perfect for his role in the show and he's got some nice little details (the hearing aids, his relationship with leslie & family, etc) and he has some great lines. S2's Blaze of Glory is FASCINATING for him and is my favorite Art episode ... that ending with Frank!! dksjfks both sad and funny and wow what an entirely human true neutral way to approach the outlaw VS lawman cat and mouse dynamic 10/10 no notes. we also get some interesting glimpses at his inner darkness + capacity for violence in him that's ... hm now that's very interesting (that time he smacked Boyd with the bible, the interrogation with the phonebook, him decking Raylan, etc) but i think overall he falls too much in line with the "Police Chief" character archetype. since Justified is a western masquerading as a police show, Art should have felt more like a sheriff but he didn't. Raylan was the sheriff of the show. though as Justified always does with their characters they gave Art a lot more personality and layers than LEO shows usually give their big boss characters. i also LOVE that Art's hope and trust in Raylan is FOREVER dashed and is never repaired during the show, such a great twist on what usually happens with the chief and their cowboy subordinate.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: ...well...i wouldn't call it "romantic" but i think we deserve at least one fucked up gross Art/Tim dead dove daddy issues smut fic, as a treat (for me) 🤡

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Art & Raylan. his odd almost-surrogate father/son dynamic where he literally disowns Raylan during the show is goddamn great and i never tire of it on rewatches of the show. i really wish we'd see it explored more in fic.

My unpopular opinion about this character: i don't think there's enough opinions on Art for anything said about his character to be unpopular, but ... i think Art had one gay experience when he was younger like @praycambrian's Art and stanley tucci fic is just canon to me.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: more Art & Tim interaction!! remember when Tim gets mouthy and bratty and Art verbally lays into him with a DON'T BE A SMART ASS??!! yeah i needed to have more of Tim toe-ing the chain of command and Art putting him back behind the line, please.

Rachel

How I feel about this character: she's cool! i like Rachel, but i don't love Rachel. she's just too prim and professional and filling the role of The Lawful Good Lawman to spark any fandom brainworms in me. she has my respect though. i still adored her place within the show, however. badass lady black marshal that's good at her fucking job and doesn't backdown in the face of assholes!! get it. the ways she was able to clap back on racist bullshit without the writers falling down a preachy rabbit hole for her was also chef's kiss.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Rachel/OMC and Rachel/Raylan as a treat (for her). sorry lesbian or bi Rachel truthers, that's a straight woman. in my head, after Rachel becomes the Seattle marshal she begins seeing a black man who works some sort of legal practice job with a divorce under his belt as well. they eventually married and live as Dog Parents Ever After 😌

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Rachel & Nick. loved her relationship with her nephew, she's done right by him and stepped up for her family i think Nick is going to be okay, i really think he's going to end up happy and Rachel structure & support is a big part of that.

My unpopular opinion about this character: the best Rachel fic(s) in existence is connect the dots by larkingstock. i don't care that it's Rachel/Tim fic btw once upon a time i read all the Tim fics that existed on the internet and that's how i discovered this brilliant Rachel-centric fic. never read a fic that shines such a spotlight on her sexuality, her emotions, and her wishes before while givng her a real narrative voice. also, the writing quality and style is romance novel level. 10/10 no notes.

not a fan of the Rachel & Tim bestie agenda. respectfully, they are work colleagues at best but i prefer Rachel filling a former mentor & then a boss role to Tim. he calls her ma'am with a little too much respect for them to be true pals.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: what the fuck happened with her divorce!! hello?? we only had a QUICK PEEK into Rachel's tragic & chaotic family life (dad dead from cancer, troubled sister dead, co-raising her nephew with her mother??!!) and i desperately wish we'd gotten a follow-up on what was going on there. our gal had hidden depths and i wanted to see more. they dropped the ball with the lawmen side of the plots in season 5/6 so we were also denied a deeper look at Rachel being the acting chief RIP :(

Tim

How I feel about this character: i'm not normal about this dude :) he's my blorbo my fan favorite my ascended supported character my baby boy my lil man timmy guts slutterson my gay ranger sniper deputy marshal lawman heart of my heart apple of my eye!! i just think he's neat. everything we see about him in canon spurs a hundred and zillion headcanons in my head, can never stop thinking about him. he's a character i project hard on and i love working out my various personal issues by tormenting him with them. ty for your service 'lil mister.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: everything he's my little black dress of the fandom. givenson, mostly. but also boyd/raylan/tim, boyd/tim, colt/tim, boyd/colt/tim, quarles/tim. i even ship him in things that has no tag yet. where is the wynn duffy/tim fic?! i need dan/raylan/tim in miami fic!!

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Tim & Mark. i liked the canon portrayal for them and don't find it romantic or sexual at all. i really do think they were just war buddy pals.

My unpopular opinion about this character: he would not have been out as a gay man circa 2010. i sometimes ... feel ... his service history & career as a LEO isn't factored into fic characterizations and how that's gonna fuck up his ability to accept himself as a gay man and how that might even give him a hostile relationship with the LGBT community at large. i will never i cannot personally vibe with smoothing down the sharp points of Tim's characterization and history to make him more palatable to a younger audience. i don't care for queernorm-ing and the soft boy aesthetics.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: that they spent SO MUCH time setting up his powder-keg arc and then did a whole bunch of nothing with it. we should have seen him BLOW sky high (and should have seen him blowing other men who said that).

Raylan

How I feel about this character: i'm normal about him (lying through my teeth). i love raylan, okay?? he makes me bonkers in a variety of different ways. he's my comfort character!! thinking about him comforts me.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: givenson, mainly. i also ship him with boyd in a very very VERY selective way AKA it has to be toxic and weird and dom4dom. also love putting him with both Boyd and Tim at once ala Crowgivenson. i also wrote the only Dan/Raylan fic but also took it down a while back, still ship them hardcore though only way to explain why Dan is so fucking fond of Raylan.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Raylan & Loretta. no she is NOT his daughter and those are not a parent/child dynamic. Raylan sees HIMSELF in Loretta, he is being the protective supportive adult to her that HE needed as a child. helping her heals his inner wounded child. Loretta is a mirror to a younger Raylan with a twist of female trauma. it's a funhouse mirror into his past.

My unpopular opinion about this character: he's a daddy dom sorry to the haters but that's what he is in my heart. me and the other justies into that are gonna keep being happy about it in our corner of the fictional sandbox 🖤

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: don't like the becoming a dad plotline, sorry. his romance with winona was eye-roll more to me and when they had winona get pregnant i put my face in my palms and groaned. wish it hadn't happened and they had given him a juicy career focus instead. the only saving grace to the whole dad thing is how both Justified and JCP stayed true to Raylan's character and portrayed him as being a crappy father.

(give me a character ask meme)

[jasntodds]

Petrichor [7]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader (little bit of fwb)

Words: 14,007  

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of scars, mentions of a panic attack, manipulation, canon drug use, comic book science? Titans science? (author's note at the end lol), canon violence, blood, bruises, gore, breaking bones, mentions of nightmares, canon character death (I'm so sorry)

Summary: ❝Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work.Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.❞

Gotham is home, not just for Jason but for you, too. And now that you’re both finally back home, together, you’re ready to see where this next chapter brings the two of you. He’s your best friend and you’re his. And you both might want a little something more with being back home, the place you both feel most comfortable. Surely, nothing could possibly go wrong now.

A/N: Happy birthday to Jason Todd!! So, sorry I did this for his birthday lmao I lied, this is longer than I thought it would be lol But I'm so sorry. I don't have anything else to say for myself besides canon made me do it and so did the comics lol I hope you guys like it!! If you want context from book 1, let me know and I’ll tell you!! You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

Over the next couple of weeks, Jason continues to go to therapy as directed by Bruce. To his surprise, it actually seems to be helping a little bit. He’s still having nightmares but they aren’t every night anymore. His hands aren’t shaking as badly either. He just feels a little bit better. Maybe Bruce and you were right about Leslie.

You and Jason are doing better, too. There have been moments where he’s gotten a little too frustrated but he remembers your talk and you give him a little bit of space until he’s ready to talk. It works for the both of you. You go on dates at least once a week and you both actually feel normal during the day. It’s not about being a vigilante and figuring out how to survive.

You go out on patrol three days a week instead of six. This is Jason’s thing and you know it bothers him. You can wait to patrol every night until he gets Robin back. It doesn’t bother you that much. And this way, you get to spend more time together and exist in a normal way that you desperately craved. You are a normal couple for once.

Above all of that, it’s been good. Things have been good. And while that is terrifying, you and Jason stick it out anyway. You don’t run or push. You both want to sometimes because it’s easier but you’re both fucking happy. So, you don’t. You don’t do it because losing each other is worse than anything the other could ever dish out. Running and pushing wouldn’t do either of you any good for the first time in your lives. So, you both enjoy the happiness together. Until things come to a screeching halt.

You're in the living room, having a FaceTime TV marathon with Gar when Bruce comes home. He offers a quick hello before trying to walk off but you call him anyway. He’s home a lot later than he should be since he went to pick up Jason. It was his request you stay back this time.

“Where’s Jason?” You question.

In all fairness, you wouldn’t be asking him normally but you also haven’t heard much from Jason since his therapy session ended. He said Bruce was taking him somewhere so he would be home later. And that was kind of the end of it. He’s been doing quite a bit better so you haven’t been as worried when he doesn’t text you back right away. But now Bruce is here without him.

“In the city.” Bruce answers plainly.

“Why? You went to pick him up?” You raise a brow and something happened. Jason texted you in the car. He was fine and with Bruce.

You look at the time and see that was a few hours ago.

“He’s upset. I’m giving him space. You should, too.” Bruce states.

“What did you do?” You deadpan, pulling up the text thread with Jason.

“I did not do anything.” Bruce defends. “He’ll be home soon.” Bruce states before he walks off.

“Everything okay?” Gar asks.

“Nope.” You shake your head. “I assume they got into some sort of fight again.” You roll your eyes. “Did he text you by chance?” You ask seeing the read receipt from a few hours ago.

Gar checks his phone and the last he heard from Jason was that morning. “No, he hasn’t texted me since this morning. What’s going on?”

You: you okay? Bruce said you’re upset what happened?

“I have no idea. He was fine earlier.” You let out a sigh, looking back at Gar through the tablet screen.

“You said he’s been better, right? Maybe he’s just blowing off steam from Bruce.” Gar suggests. Jason has shared some of the stuff that's happened and has complained a little about Bruce.

“Yeah, but if that’s the case, he usually comes to me to bitch about Bruce because I always agree with him.” You give Gar a grin just as your phone goes off.

Jaybird 🥰: fuck bruce I’m fine don’t worry

You: what happened? Do you want me to come get you?

“Well he texted me back and I was right, fight with Bruce.” You roll your eyes.

They fight sometimes, usually about Robin-related things or Jason wanting to do something reckless and Bruce putting a stop to it. Jason’s usually only a mad an hour or so before he’s fine and over it. Jason doesn’t hold very many grudges.

“Did he say about what?” Gar asks.

“Nope. Just said, fuck Bruce.”

Jaybird 🥰: no just wanna be alone still you and me love you ❤️

You: call or text every so often so I know you’re okay please I love you, too 🥰

“What’d he say?” Gar asks. He worries enough for the both of you/

“He wants to be alone and when Jason wants to be alone that is never good. But we have this thing where I let him be alone and then he tells me about it later. So, I guess I have to wait. If he isn’t home or texting me in a few hours, I’ll go look for him.” You reluctantly put your phone down. Giving Jason space is never easy.

“Think he’ll be alright?” Gar asks with worry in his voice.

“Yeah, him and Bruce fight sometimes. I’m sure it’s nothing too bad, Bruce probably just said something stupid and Jason was already in a mood.” You let out a sigh as the worry feeling gnaws at your stomach.

“Did you want to still—“

“Yeah, yeah, no. We can keep watching. He said he’ll text me.” You offer a soft smile while the two of you continue your show.

It’s not fair. It’s utter bullshit. Jason can’t help the way his blood is boiling and fuming while his hands shake. Bruce doesn’t think he’s good enough to be Robin. Bruce gave up on him. Jason is supposed to be his son and Bruce gave up on him anyway but he never gave up on Dick. If Jason weren’t so weak, this whole thing never would have happened. But he’s gonna prove to Bruce he can be Robin. He can be the best Robin and he can be a better Batman, too. He just needs a little help in the fear department.

He’s desperate. He tells himself this is a one-time thing. Fear creeps in his throat, grasping to be let out in the damp air. It’s a one-time thing, he tells himself. He’s out of options if he wants to be Robin. He’s out of options if he wants to keep the most important thing in his life. All he needs is a quick fix to fear and he’ll be back out there, better than he has ever been. He’ll prove it to Bruce. Bruce is wrong about him.

Bruce thinks he’s a mistake. He thinks Jason isn't worth the trouble just like everyone else. Bruce thinks Jason is weak. He thought Jason could replace Dick and he couldn’t. Not as Robin and not as Bruce’s son. But if he can get rid of his fear, he can show him how wrong he is. He isn’t just another mistake. He isn’t weak and he’s better than Dick. He swears this will be it. It won’t be bad. He can handle this. He swears it’ll all be fine. So, he hangs up on Leslie and heads inside the gates of Arkham Asylum as rain patters around him.

He’s a master manipulator. Jason knows that. It’s one of the things he’s best at. But the desperation for a cure to fear clouds every aspect of that. The desperation doesn’t let him see why Crane wants information for the cure. He can’t see Crane’s angel in his state of paralyzed desperation. And Jason has been manipulated before. He swears he’ll know if Crane is manipulating him because he knows what to look out for this time. But, desperation and the fear of being scared forever, go hand in hand. Fear and desperation cloud everything. He tosses his loyalty from the window as he gets closer to the formula. Crane gives him a piece of it with every piece of information Jason gives him.

“Tell me about the first Robin.” Crane offers this grin that sends a chill down Jason’s spine.

“Like what?” Jason huffs.

“His name, where he is, everything you know.”

“Dick Grayson. He’s in San Francisco and goes by Nightwing.” Jason explains, throwing Dick completely under the bus. He has a problem with Dick now anyway. Dick Grayson has always been the goody two shoes and Bruce’s favorite. Jason only got to be Robin because Dick abandoned Bruce. Jason was a filler. “He’s with the Titans. He got Deathstroke’s son killed and dropped me from a skyscraper.” Jason lets out a scoff.

“Interesting. Doesn’t seem to be the golden boy Bruce portrayed him as.” Crane grins and this is easier than he thought it would be. Jason has no problems rolling, apparently and Crane knows he’s going to use that to his advantage.

He’s broken. He’s desperate and Crane has the cure he wants. This is going to be easy and Crane gets all benefits. Jason lets him take down the Bat but in the best way. Crane is going to get the Bat’s son to turn on him and get rid of him. To break him. And then Dick Grayson and all of Gotham will follow. Crane finds the whole thing a little poetic. He can use him. And Jason will never see through it once he figures out the formula.

“Yep.” Jason answers simply, wanting to get this over with and Crane offers him a piece of the formula.

“The Titans. Who are they?” Crane asks, hiding the malicious intent behind curiosity.

Jason looks up to him and he doesn’t like to throw some of the others under the bus. But Crane is here. He can’t do anything. And most of them thought he was just Dick’s weaker replacement anyway. They gave up, too.

“Rachel Roth, Raven. Hank Hall, Hawk. Dawn Granger, Dove. Kory Anders, Starfire. Conner Kent, Superboy. Gar Logan, Beast Boy.” Jason pauses, waiting to see if Crane knows more.

Of course, he does. He’s in Arkham, not living under a rock. The Bat gains a new sidekick and everyone knows about it. Crane is only taking a guess the new sidekick also was a Titan based on when you showed up and your close proximity with Robin, himself. He saw Jason’s hesitance on his face. The fear.

Crane chuckles softly. “Aren’t you missing someone, pal?” Crane asks, almost a little too warmly. “Could have sworn there was one more.”

Jason grits his teeth and he’s so sorry.

When he came up with this plan, he had a feeling Crane would want information. He came prepared for it. Part of that preparation was leaving you the hell out of it. Not you. Crane can’t know about you. Anyone but you. But he does know. He already knows you're a Titan and he already knows you work for Bruce. Jason has no choice if he wants the formula. And he is so sorry.

Jason says your name with bitterness on his tongue. “Bluejay. She doesn't really like the name thing though.” Jason answers.

Crane has a soft smile. “She’s the new bird. So many of you are birds.” Crane chuckles. “I do find it interesting you would try to leave her out of it. She’s the new edition to Batman. Let me guess,” Crane boasts around his cell. “Your girlfriend.”

Not you. You've done everything you can to save him and help him. He loves you. Not you. Anyone but you.

“No.” Jason answers. “Just friends.” He bites the words because maybe Crane doesn’t know for sure you’re together and he wants you at arm's length.

“If you want the formula, you really shouldn’t lie to me.” Crane has a sinister smile. “You wouldn’t leave her out of it if you were just friends.” Crane lets the words fall with ease.

He’s so fucking sorry.

“Yeah, okay fine. Girlfriend.” Jason spits.

He knows you’ll never forgive him if you find out. You can’t tell Molly anything but he’s here telling Crane everything. You're going to hate him. But he needs a cure. He can’t feel this way forever. He can’t do it. He doesn't think he’ll be able to live like this anymore.

“Ah, young love.” Crane smiles with that shrug of his shoulders. You're going to be an interesting obstacle in this one. He’s already trying to protect you from this. Crane knows he needs to break that bond as fast as he can if he wants this plan to work. “I want to know about her.” There’s this look that crosses Crane’s eyes and Jason almost turns around.

But he doesn’t.

“Why? She’s not with the fucking Titans and she hates Bruce. She works with him because of me. That’s it. She got a suit out of it and a place to stay.”

“I’m a bit of a romantic, myself. Love stories are cute. Always having someone on your side, through thick and thin. It is quite romantic, don’t you think? If we’re going to work together, I want to know why she’s so important to you.” Crane grins. “You can trust me, boy. We want the same things and the way the Bat has treated you…it’s so cruel. But I, I believe in you. That’s why I’m helping you. You trust me, don’t you?”

You're going to kill him. Guilt chews at his limbs. His jaw squares and he thinks swallowing his own teeth would be easier than this. But he has to. Maybe Crane is being sincere. Jason thinks he is. At least enough. Maybe if Jason tells him enough, Crane will see you aren’t a problem. Maybe he’ll see you would side with them. You want Gotham to be better, you don’t agree with Bruce’s ways. Maybe Crane will understand. He’s helping Jason, maybe he can help you. You're scared, too.

“Dick found her.” Jason answers reluctantly. “She joined the Titans. We went after Deathstroke together. Got kidnapped and dropped from the skyscraper. Dick saved her. CADMUS attacked her, Gar, and Conner when I was gone. Dick left them alone when shit hit the fan. CADMUS left her for dead. So, she came back to Gotham.” Jason explains.

“She was there with Deathstroke.” Crane lets out a sigh and like Bruce, in a way, he can always tell when someone could need him. Someone who’s been traumatized. His intentions aren’t as pure as Bruce’s. “But Dick saved her and not you. Did you save her?”

“It wasn’t like that.” Jason shakes his head. “Dick tried to save me first and dropped me. Then he saved her. But yeah,” Jason nods. “I protected her and she did the same shit for me.”

“The two of you went through something so traumatic together. That really must have brought you closer. It’s not as romantic as I was hoping for but it is quite nice.” Crane grins. “She has powers, doesn’t she?”

“Acid generation.” Jason stares, leaving out the combat clairvoyance and the possibility of you having sharp shooting abilities. Two things Crane can’t prove Jason lied about.

“Now that is interesting. Does she know you’re here right now? Asking for my help?”

“No.” Jason shakes his head. “Look, she’s got nothing to with this shit. But, I can get her on our side. The other Titans targeted me for all types of shit I didn’t do and she was the only one on my side. She’s not a fucking problem. I can handle her.”

Crane grins and that’s all he needs. Jason is already hiding something huge from you. The distrust will be there and Jason doesn’t know Crane’s whole plan. If it goes the way he thinks it will, it’ll break your relationship. He will have no one left besides Crane. Exactly how he wants it. So, he decides he’ll let Jason think he believes this whole thing and moves back to the Titans.

“I do hope you’re right.” Crane sighs. “Tell me everything that happened in San Fransisco, with all of the Titans.”

Jason lets out a sigh before he spills every piece of information. He tells him everything from Trigon to Deathstroke to CADMUS. He tells him about the Titans turning on him for something he didn’t do, you talking him off the roof. Dick's confession and Donna’s death. Everything.

Then he tells Crane everything he knows about Bruce. The manor, the Batcave. Everything. He tells Crane about his training and the cabin, how Bruce found him and how Bruce found Dick. He spills and Crane lets him talk. Crane listens a lot but asks questions where he finds needed but he mostly just lets Jason talk as Jason keeps you out of it as much as he can. Jason is far more cooperative when it comes to everyone else.

Crane figures once he figures out the formula, he can get more information on you and use it against him if he needs to. He can’t have anyone if this is going to work and Crane knows exactly how he’ll be able to accomplish it. But for now, it’s about the Titans and Bruce. By the time Jason finishes, he’s got the formula tucked away in his pocket, ready to let fear go.

Jason pulls his phone from his pocket once he’s far enough away from Arkham. He’s spent the walk running over every lie he could tell you. Guilt eats at him with every step he takes. You're gonna kill him. He’s gonna lie to you because he knows for a fact, you’ll freak out. You’ll think he’s gone off the deep end and you’ll tell Dick. You’ll drag him kicking and screaming out of Gotham. You’ll tell Arkham and he won’t be able to see Crane again. It’s not fair and it’s not right. But you can’t know. And a part of him finds that to be unfair, too because he’s gonna fix his fear while you have to suffer with yours. That’s not fair to you. So, he thinks.

Maybe he can figure out a way to bring it up without bringing it up. Maybe he can try to see how you’d feel about a way to get rid of fear. If you seem for it, then he can tell you. He can see if you want to help. But the more he thinks about that, the more he thinks about Crane.

You’d have to be involved with him. Jason doesn’t want you involved with him. Not him. And he knows, the second he tells you about Crane, you’ll lose it. Even if you want a cure-all. You’ll bail the second you hear about Crane. You would never work with a guy like that. So, he has no choice. It’s that or end it and he doesn’t want to do that either.

“Hey.” Jason says as you pick up the phone.

“Jay? Where are you? I’ve been texting you to make sure you were okay.” He can hear your worry and he thinks maybe the anti-fear drug will make him not worry. Maybe you don’t want to worry so much.

“I’m sorry.” Jason clears his throat. “I needed to clear my damn head. I’m fine. Can you come get me, please?”

“Yeah, of course. Where are you?” You answer and Jason can hear you rustling on the other end.

“I’ll text you the address.” Jason states. “Thanks.”

“Of course.” You hang up and get to your feet while Jason texts you the address.

When you reach Jason, he’s soaked. Your heart aches, feeling like it’s being squeezed right through your rib cage at the sight of him. He looks exhausted and lost. He looks distant and he is drenched from the winter rain. Something bad happened and you have no idea how you're going to be able to help.

You take off your helmet, not getting off the bike. “Jay, are you okay?”

Jason gets up from the curb and walks up to you, offering you a fake smile. “Yeah.” His jaw clenches and he doesn’t even want to go home. He doesn’t want to see Bruce. He’d rather be outside in the cold. “All good.”

“What happened?” You reach out but Jason dodges you, reaching for his helmet. A lump grows in your throat. He doesn’t dodge you. Not like that.

“Bruce took Robin away.” Jason’s voice cracks as he shakes his head.

He dodges your stare. He doesn’t want to see the look you’ll give him. On the one hand, he’ll feel guilty. He’ll feel guilty for lying and talking to Crane. And on the other, you’ll give him a look that screams pity and that is the last thing he needs. Jason Todd doesn’t need anyone’s pity.

“What do you mean?” You question.

“Like fucking permanently. He said I can’t be Robin anymore.” Jason lets out a bitter scoff as he feels the anger come back to his bloodstream.

“Jay, I’m so sorry.” You say softly.

You never thought Bruce would take it away like that. Jason has been doing everything Bruce asked him to do. Ever since the Pete Hawkins thing, Jason has backed off entirely. He is putting a real effort into therapy, really trying to let the process help. Why would Bruce rip it away from him?

“Fuck him. I’m gonna fucking show him he’s wrong. He's fucking wrong about me.” Jason grits his teeth.

“He is.” You nod your head. “Come on. Let’s get you home and warm and we can talk more, okay?”

“Whatever.” Jason scoffs, popping his helmet on before he gets on the back and holds onto you while you drive back to the manor.

You get Jason back to the manor and into a warm shower. He says almost nothing. It’s as if he’s completely numb and it breaks you to see him like this. Jason is anything but quiet in a shower with you, usually. And he’s always handsy and cheeky. But, tonight, he’s just quiet, going through the motions, stuck on his own head.

You don’t understand how Bruce could take Robin away like that. It’s not fair. Jason does what Bruce asks him to and he messes up sometimes but that’s normal. How does he not see Robin is the most important thing to him? You even told him that. And he took Robin anyway. He never should have let him be Robin in the first place if this was something that could happen. Dick almost killed someone and he didn’t take Robin from Dick. Jason tries his best. Why isn’t that good enough for Bruce?

Dick was always right about him.

Jason plops onto your bed, his eyes red and puffy. His heart feels like it’s being crushed by cinderblocks. It all hurts. How did he really let another person down? How was he fooled into believing Bruce was different than everyone else? He thinks about his dad. His dad wasn’t a good person but Jason, sometimes, wonders if it was him. Maybe it was his fault his dad was like that. Maybe it was different before him. His dad didn’t choose to be his dad. But Bruce chose it. And still is giving up on him. Jason is Bruce’s son by choice, he thought the choice of picking a son, would make it different. But it’s the same old story Jason hates retelling.

He fucks up and people give up.

“Want me to rub your back while you tell me about it?” You offer as you stand in between his legs, looking down at him.

Jason looks up at you and you always worried so much. He wishes he could be better so you wouldn’t worry about him. He wonders why you choose him. You don’t have to, like Bruce. But you do. He wonders if one day you’ll stop. If his mom and his dad and his uncle and Dick and Bruce all chose other things over him, why wouldn't you? But he looks up at you and you give him this soft smile with your fingertips brushing his knees with care and he thinks you're still different than everyone else.

Jason cracks a soft smile. “Yeah, actually. Thank you.”

“Of course.” You smile softly.

Jason switches to his stomach, facing the TV just as you did the first day you started your friends-with-benefits situation. You sit on top of him and run your hands over his back. Your hands are cold, sending goosebumps up his spine. Your hands are always cold, something he always finds a bit ironic given the acid generation warms your hands. But your fingers are soft as you trace over the scars on his back. You do it every time and he always meant to ask.

“Why do you do that?” Jason asks, his eyes closed with his head on his hands.

“Do what?” You ask as you start rubbing his shoulders.

“Trace the scars.”

“I dunno.” You shake your head and you didn’t realize you did it often enough for him to notice.

You're not even sure why you do it. It’s something mindless. Maybe it’s your subconscious wishing if you trace them enough times, it’ll remove the damage the scars have caused him, like a magic eraser. Or maybe tracing the scars is confirmation he’s real.

Sometimes, you have a hard time believing he’s real. All of this is real. You used to dream of a life outside of the basement, sometimes they’d feel so real you could swear they were. Wishful thinking.

Maybe you trace them as confirmation that the raised and paled skin is real, Jason is here with you and you're not dreaming. Maybe you like the way the scars look on his skin but he managed to pull through all of his terrible shit and make it out the other end with a smart mouth and a heart of gold anyway. Maybe, you just do it because you care about him regardless of the scars and what made them.

“Does it bother you?” You ask softly.

“No.” Jason answers. “Just wondering.”

It always makes him feel vulnerable, a harsh reminder he is not invincible as much as he likes to believe he is sometimes. He might have survived those injuries but they’re there as harsh reminders. And you touch them and he thinks maybe you find comfort in them, because you have them, too. And that’s always enough for him. He thinks it makes him feel human and real and alive. He always feels a little exposed but it’s become comforting with you.

“What happened?”

He thinks he has his lies in order. He knows he might be sabotaging the relationship. Despite everything he thinks as you massage over the scar on his back, he knows. He knows you might not forgive him. There’s always a chance you won’t be so understanding when you inevitably find out because you always figure him out. But it's a risk he has to take.

He can’t keep doing this anymore. He can’t keep not sleeping. He can’t keep shaking and freezing. He can’t keep living like this. He knows he can’t. It’ll destroy him. It’ll be miserable. The idea of going back to being useless and not good enough and a disappointment, he can’t live like that. He needs help now, before Bruce finds his replacement. Maybe you’ll understand that part.

“He fucking said he made mistakes and I guess I’m fucking one of them.” Jason scoffs from under you.

You narrow your eyes thinking Bruce didn’t actually say that. You have no faith in Bruce to communicate worth a shit given your conversation with him and given Jason and Dick. And Bruce might be very good at hiding his emotions, but you know he actually cares about Jason. You don’t think Bruce would ever tell Jason he was a mistake, even if he thought it.

“He said that?” You ask, pausing for a few seconds.

“Basically!” Jason groans. “And he doesn’t want to make more mistakes and he said I can’t be Robin anymore. He thinks I’m a fucking mental case. He doesn’t care it’s important to me. He doesn’t care that I’m doing what he wants me to. It doesn’t matter to him. It’s fucking bullshit.” Jason’s voice shakes as his back tenses under your palms.

“That’s not fair. I don’t know why he would do that. You were always a great Robin.” You say softly.

You wish you could have heard the conversation so you would know better what to say. But, you also know, even if Bruce didn’t say any of that and it came out wrong, it wouldn’t change anything for you to decipher it for him. At the end of the day, Bruce could have outright told Jason he loves him and he doesn’t want him to die and Jason would still be absolutely crushed with Robin being ripped away from him. Bruce’s delivery of the message doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change anything.

“Just fucking tired of being scared.” Jason lets out a defeated sigh. “Fucking gave up on me. Ya know, thought he was fucking different.” His voice is etched in pain and you wish you could take it all away. He never deserves the pain he gets.

It’s honest. He can be honest with you about that. Maybe he wants you to figure it out.

“Yeah, I get it. Being scared really sucks. You’ll get better though. I know I keep saying it but it takes time, Jay. Bruce should be giving you more time.” You say. “I’m really sorry about him.” You lean down and press a kiss to his shoulder blade. “You still have me, okay?”

He knows. He’ll always have you. Somewhere inside of him, he knows. The anxiety of you freaking out and leaving when you figure it out is there, but he also knows he’s given you every opportunity to take off and run. And you never do. You’d understand his desperation. You'd understand why he lied. He knows he still has you.

“What if there were a cure for fear?” Jason asks and he’s glad you can’t see his face. You’d know.

“What do you mean?” Your brows furrow.

“What if there was a cure? Like we can just take it and not be scared anymore.” Jason listens carefully, feeling your hands pause on his back. He knows without looking that you've got your right eyebrow raised at him, your eyes narrowing at him as if you can’t decide if he’s joking or serious.

“I mean that’d be great, but there would be consequences, right?” You question.

You're a little concerned with the question. But, that’d be insane. It’d be insane for him to really look for a cure to fear. You swear he’s just talking, doing one of his hypothetical talks he does like you do about the zombie apocalypse.

“Like what? Being fearless sounds pretty fucking good right about now.” Jason scoffs.

“We’ll, fear is just adrenaline, right? But that fear also keeps you looking both ways before crossing the street, it alerts you when someone is following you home. Without fear, also means you won’t have excitement. You’ll probably be emotionally numb to a lot of things. Not having adrenaline is dangerous though.” You answer.

“Yeah, but isn’t that fucking better than being scared all the damn time? You’re afraid of everything, too and your nightmares are back. You wouldn’t want something to stop it?” Jason looks over his shoulder.

Your nightmares came back a week and a half ago. You and Molly were on a walk and ran into Jerry’s Gotham house. You still don’t know how you missed it, but you did. You were walking and having a good time and you saw the house and that was it. You broke and it’s like all of the progress you made over the last few months evaporated into the atmosphere. Molly had to call Jason because you were having a panic attack and couldn’t snap out of it. The nightmares came back that night.

“Of course, I would.” You shrug.

You think about it and maybe it would be nice. If nothing else, just so you could get some damn proper sleep. So, you both could get some proper sleep. Maybe if you both got some sleep, you’d be better. Maybe Jason makes a good point but then you think about how happy you are when you see him and when a new movie comes out and your marathons with Gar. You wouldn’t want to trade those feelings for being fearless.

“But not if it means getting rid of everything else. Adrenaline also keeps us alive. I’ve been numb and that’s worse than being scared. Why?” You ask. “You trying to find a cure to fear or something?”

“No.” Jason scoffs, letting out a fake laugh and he was really hoping you’d be on his side with this one. “Just fucking saying, wish there were a cure. At least so I can be Robin.”

“Look, it sucks, Jaybird. But I don’t think the answer to being Robin is being fearless. You had to use that fear to survive out there, too. You’re gonna be okay and then you can go out and be your own hero. You don’t have to be Robin. Dick quit and became Nightwing. You don’t need Bruce to help people.” You say. “And I still think you’re plenty good enough. I’m just saying, if Bruce won’t let you, do it yourself when you get better. You’re good enough.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Jason sighs. “Maybe you’re right but he doesn’t believe in me anymore.” Jason says and you know it’s never your approval he’ll need. And that’s okay but you wish sometimes, like tonight, it were enough. “I’m gonna prove him wrong.”

“Good, fuck Bruce.” You smile softly. “Just…give it a little bit, okay? Keep seeing Leslie, too. She’s been helping.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Jason huffs.

“I’m serious, Jason. You do sleep more now. Seeing her is helping, just keep up with it. And then we’ll go out together. Fuck Bruce. We’ll be our own team.” You let out a soft chuckle.

“Thanks.” Jason lets out a sigh.

You make good points but his mind is made up. He’s going to do this. He doesn’t have time to wait around and hope for the best. He isn’t going to Leslie. He’s going to make the anti-fear drug and he won’t be scared anymore. Maybe you're right. Maybe he’ll be numb to everything but he doesn’t care anymore. He is desperate for a cure. He needs it. Maybe he can only use it to be Robin, just to prove himself. It’ll be a quick fix and that’ll be the end of it. Just use it out there and to sleep. You make good points, but he has to do this. And he is so sorry he has to lie about it.

Jason turns from under you so he can face you and you place your hands on his chest. You have a soft smile and he feels so guilty but you’ll understand. You’ll get it when he can function better, it’s just until this whole shit wears off. You’ll get it. If anyone will, it’ll be you.

“Thanks for not giving up on me.” Jason places his hands on your thighs, his thumbs rubbing softly against your bare skin.

“You and me.” You smile softly.

“Yeah.” Jason smiles looking at the necklace hanging from your neck. You haven't taken it off since he gave it to you. “You and me.”

“You okay?” Your voice is filled with love as you ask. No one ever asked like that before.

“Yeah.” Jason answers simply. “Just glad you’re here.”

“You sure? I’m really worried about you.” Your brows knit together. “You know I’ll always be here. No matter what.”

“I’m not gonna walk off a roof, I swear.” Jason’s eyes widen as a grin tugs at the corner of his lips.

“Good. I just know this is bad for you. I just hope you believe me because I believe in you.”

Jason sits up and places his fingers under your chin. “Thanks. Look, I’ll be fucking fine. Trust me. I got a plan.” Jason offers you a grin.

“That’s still mildly unsettling coming from you.” You smile. “What’s the plan?” You widen your eyes as your hands come to his shoulders, a teasing smirk coming to your lips.

“You’ll see.” Jason drops his hand to your waist.

“Oh, you’re not gonna tell me?” You laugh.

“What’s that you always say?” Jason teases. “We don’t always get what we want.” And he says your name, it comes out a little groveled but his voice is teasing.

“Shut up.” You groan.

“Do you trust me?” Jason asks as his hands squeeze your hips softly.

“Of course, I do. You know I do.” You answer.

“Trust me then. I got a plan. I’ll be back out there and proving everyone else wrong.” Jason holds his head with confidence.

You raise a brow at him. “Why do I have a bad feeling about that?” Jason and plans aren’t always a bad combination but he is desperate and hurt right now. You remember the last plan he had when he felt this way.

“Don’t. I got this. Like you said, I’ll be fine.” Jason presses a kiss to your lips.

“Right yeah, you will be.” You let out a sigh and you think it can’t be that bad. He’d tell you. “Okay. You’ll tell me through, right?”

“Of course, you and me.” Jason gives you a wild grin.

He hopes you won’t be mad.

The next day, Jason rents an apartment and sets up to work on making the anti-fear drug. ?You had plans with Molly anyway and that was the perfect excuse for him to get here all by himself to get to work. Plus, Bruce had to go out of town so that's one less person he has to worry about.

He feels guilt gnawing at his stomach like a bad stomach ulcer. But he works anyway. He works through it because this is the only way. And even if he wanted to back out, he already told Crane everything. If he wanted to back out, Crane could use that information against him. But, he doesn’t want to back out anyway, so he pushes the guilt and anxiety away as he puts together a botched drug.

You grow suspicious over the next few days. Jason is making weird and random excuses not to hang out. He’s always trying to get you to hang out more with Molly or for you to head to Excellent Gotham and get to know Tim better. You always need more friends, apparently. Normally, you wouldn’t think too much of it. Or you’d be worried he was distancing himself to leave. But it’s Jason and he’s definitely hiding something, so you follow him one day.

Your phone rings as you hide in the alley beside the building Jason walked into.

“Hello?” You ask.

“Why are you following me?” Jason asks.

He caught onto you following him a few blocks from the apartment he’s been using. He was Robin and a street kid, he knows when someone is following him. And he feels bad about it. For you to follow him, you have to be really worried. He doesn’t track you unless you get kidnapped and you don’t track him on his phone. You don’t follow each other. But you are. And he needs to find a way to assure you.

“I—“ You pause. “I-I’m not following you.” You scoff.

“Yeah, you are.” Jason states as he walks through the opposite end of the alley.

“Why do you think that?” You raise, crossing your arm across your chest.

“I can see you.” Jason answers, pulling the phone away from his ear as you jump, turning around to see Jason.

To be fair, you should have known he'd figure it out. But, you tried to be subtle and keep a far enough distance away from him. You put in a lot of effort. He's just more vigilant than you are, apparently.

“Oh, hey, Jay.” You give him a cheeky smile with a nervous laugh. “Whatcha doing?”

You might be following him. You might be figuring it out a little sooner than he'd personally like. But, he does find it a little cute. And a little amusing you really thought Jason wouldn't figure it out.

“Walking, what’re you doing, babe?” Jason quips, closing the rest of the distance between you.

You sigh in defeat. “Following you.”

Jason lets out a hearty laugh. “No shit. Why?”

“You’ve been…weird, sneaking around. Worried about you.” You groan as you scrunch your nose.

He's really not trying to worry you. He doesn't want you to worry about him anymore. Even if you would be completely against an anti-fear drug, a part of him thinks maybe if he has it, you won't have too many reasons to worry about him anymore. The way Jason sees it, he was always better off with less fear. Maybe the drug helping him, will help you. In a roundabout way.

“You don’t have to worry. I’m just working on something, alright?” He’s giving you that toothy grin that is always trouble.

“Right…that’s not nearly as reassuring as you think it is.” You quip back, the smile falling short.

“It’s a surprise, alright? Don’t worry so much.”

“A surprise?” You raise a brow.

“A surprise.” Jason echoes and it’s not technically a lie. “You said you trust me.”

“I do.” You groan. “I’m sorry. You just never sneak around. It’s weird, even for you.”

You chew the inside of your cheek and maybe you're being paranoid. You've always been a little on the paranoid side, especially since Jerry. And the paranoia decided to come back in full force with the nightmares. Maybe you're just paranoid, more worried about losing him. Things have been good, between you at least, you always get scared when things are good for too long.

Jason puts his hands on your shoulders. “I’m fine, babe. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“Promise?” You ask.

“Promise.” Jason nods.

“Fine.” You sigh, taking his arms off of your shoulders and holding his right hand. “Just…whatever you’re up to, be careful.”

“Always.” Jason beams, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “I’ll see you at home, yeah?”

“Yeah, okay.” You sigh, kissing him softly.

“Love you.” Jason grins, walking past you.

“I love you, too.” You watch him walk off and you really have a bad feeling about this one. But you can’t follow him and you have no reason not to trust him. So, you let him walk as you head back the way you came.

The next day, Jason gets the formula right. He uses an inhaler to take it and every fear he has ever had, melts away. It works. He did it. He got his cure to fear. So, he heads back to Arkham, high on the drug to confirm to Crane he got it despite the shotty formula.

And Crane already had a plan in motion. He had a feeling Jason would figure it out. So, he set up a plan and it’s time for the plan to go into motion so they can make Gotham theirs. Crane needs Jason to prove it works. What better way than to have him face off with the Joker alone? That’ll surely prove it. But, what Jason doesn’t know, is that Crane knows the downside to life without fear. Of course, he does. He’s the expert in it. Crane already has someone on the outside ready to handle it when this does not go the way Jason thinks it will. But is it perfect for Crane, another thing to hold over Jason’s head to control him.

And Jason doesn’t see the motive. So, Crane tells him to go after the Joker to prove it works and prove to the Bat he can do this. Jason doesn’t need Bruce. He can take care of the Joker all by himself. Jason, lacking all apprehension and self-preservation thanks to the drug, agrees easily. He’s not scared of him.

That next night, Jason convinces you to run out to the store. You were talking about needing some supplies for your scrapbook. You're reluctant at first, but decide to go. It’ll be quick. And Jason gets to work tracking the Joker.

But, with Jason at home, something just does not feel right to you. You make it all the way to the store, hoping the feeling will it go away, but it doesn't. So, you decide to call Molly, maybe Molly can talk you down.

“Hey.” Molly chimes through the phone.

“Hey, you busy?” You ask as you sit on the bike outside of the store.

“No, what’s up?”

You pause. It’s eating at you. Jason was weird as fuck last night when he came home and he’s been weird today. Convincing you to go to the store was weird. Him not coming with is also weird. And you have that feeling in the pit of your stomach. You shouldn’t have left.

“You….uh, I don’t know. I think I’m having a bad feeling so I just…need to talk I think.” You shake your head, the helmet weighing on your head a bit.

“What’s going on? Where’s Jason?” Molly asks.

“Home.” You answer. “I went to the store, he didn’t wanna come.”

“Is everything okay with you guys?”

“Yeah, yeah, all good. Not, uh, not what I wanted to talk about actually.”

“What’s going on?”

“Uh…do you…you know when something bad is gonna happen like really bad and you just….get this feeling? Like…right in the center of your stomach?”

You think you're being paranoid. It only happened once when your mom died. But since Jerry, you're always paranoid and the feeling comes back. Sometimes it’s wrong. Sometimes, it’s just you being paranoid. And you know that’s what this has to be because what could possibly happen to Jason at the manor?

“Yeah.” Molly nods her head because it happened with her mom. She just knew. “You have that feeling?”

“Yeah…I don’t know. Sometimes it's wrong. But it just…I don’t know. Feels bad.” You let out a sigh.

“When did it start?”

“Right before I left. Like, I got on the bike and I just….I don’t know. I think I’m gonna go home.” You shake your head and you can go home. You can always come back tomorrow.

“Are you sure? I mean...what if it’s a coincidence? Two’s a coincidence.” Molly tries to assure you.

“Yeah, I know but….what if it’s not? Can you stay on the phone with me while I get back?” You just can’t do it. It’s not a big deal.

“Yeah, of course.” Molly nods her head and you start the bike, taking off back to the manor. “What do you think it is?” Molly asks, mostly to talk you down.

“I don’t know.” You answer. “Jason’s been acting weird lately. I don’t know. I can’t explain it. It’s not….he’s…something’s off with him and I don’t know why I came. He told me to and maybe I listen to him a little too much sometimes. He said he was fine but I don’t know. I got a real bad feeling.” You groan.

“How far are you from the manor?”

“Like twenty minutes.”

“Well, if something is going on, you’re not that far and you haven’t been gone long. He couldn’t have gotten into too much trouble.” Molly tries to assure you but it doesn’t work.

The more you talk, the more paranoid you get. You know Molly is right. He couldn’t have gotten into too much trouble in the last half hour. But you worry anyway.

“Yeah, hey, can you conference him in? Just…give me some piece of mind before I get back.”

“Yeah, of course.” Molly states as she pulls the phone away from her ear and adds Jason to the call. The two of you listen as the phone rings and rings and rings. And then goes to voicemail.

“Fuck.” You let out a scoff as panic starts to flood your system.

“Maybe he’s--”

“No, he’d answer if it were you while I’m out. Call again.” You state and Molly does as told, getting voicemail again. You shake your head and you pull the throttle back, kicking the bike into third.

“Slow down.” Molly urges. “I’m sure he’s fine. Maybe he’s just in the bathroom.” Molly says as she hears the bike rev further.

“He’d answer. I know he would. Double calls. He would because why would you call him twice in a row unless it were important?” You argue.

You're begging for you to be wrong. You hope against everything in your body you're wrong. This one time, you have to be wrong.

“Okay, so what do you think is going on?” Molly asks.

“I don’t know!” You groan. “That’s the problem. I have no idea what’s been going on with him. I followed him a few days ago and he brushed it off. Like it was no big deal but he was sneaking around behind my back. He said he was planning something or some shit. Whatever the fuck that’s supposed to mean.”

“You don’t think he’s like cheating--”

“No! Of course, not. He would never. I….” You bite your tongue because Molly doesn’t know about Robin. “I don’t know what the fuck he’s been doing but now he’s not answering. And I got this feeling. Hold on I’m at a stop light.” You groan, quick-dialing Jason as you watch the red light. The two of you listen as it goes to voicemail. And you try again. Voicemail. “Something’s wrong.” You say as the light turns green and you start weaving between cars.

“Because he’s not answering and you have a feeling? You sound paranoid.”

“I know.” You grit your teeth. “But he’d answer for me. I know he would. Especially calling him twice. He’d answer. I just...remember a few weeks ago when he got his ass kicked?”

“Yeah.” Molly wishes she could forget.

“Okay, so what if he went out on his own to try that guy again or something?” You spit, avoiding details about Robin because you're thinking he’s out Robining alone for some sort of spite against Bruce. He’s still mad. And maybe he froze and it got bad.

“Why would he do that?”

“Because he’s Jason.” You let out a breath.

You get back to the manor, switching the call to your phone instead of your helmet. You make your way into the manor and call for Jason. The manor is silent. It’s not even like that’s abnormal. Jason isn’t really loud and neither is Bruce. But, the quiet and lack of Jason answering is eery and unsettling.

You search your rooms and living rooms and kitchens. He’s nowhere to be found and your heart sinks further. So, you go to the Batcave. Hoping maybe, he’s just training. Maybe Molly is right. Maybe he’s just busy. Maybe his phone died and he didn’t realize it. That’s possible. It’s Jason. He isn’t the type that’s glued to his phone. Maybe.

But that hope dies as you reach the Batcomputer, seeing Amusement Mile pulled up with the Joker’s location.

No, no, no, no.

“I’m sure he went out and he’ll be--”

“Fuck!” You yell as you look to the display case. The Robin suit is gone.

Molly calls your name and now she’s worried.

“What a fucking---” You cut yourself off as you grit your teeth. “Molly, I gotta go.”

“Molly yells your name, her voice now completely panicked.

“I can’t. I’m sorry. I’ll call you. I have to call Bruce.” You rush as you hang up, running over to your own display case holding your suit. You rip the case open and grab the suit as you put Bruce on speaker. “Bruce!?” You yell into the phone as you jump around, getting the suit on as fast as you can.

This can’t be happening. The Joker? Of all fucking people, that’s who he decides he’s going to go after to prove himself? Why the hell would he ever do that? You try your best not to focus on the millions of questions you have for him and the fact you're ready to scream at him for the twenty-four hours. You have to focus because it’s the fucking Joker. He’s taken too much from you.

Bruce can hear the absolute panic in your voice. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s Jason! I fucking told you! He went after the fucking Joker!” You scream into the phone as you zip the front of your suit and put the mask over your mouth.

“I told him not to.” Bruce says calmly, but a part of him is panicking.

Bruce doesn’t panic but there is no way you would be calling him and telling him this if it weren’t true. Jason knows better. Why would he go after the Joker? On his own?

“Oh, because Jason is so fucking good at following instructions?!” You run over to the weapons once you're completely suited up.

On the one hand, Bruce could send you after him. That’s at least, two against one. But, it’s the Joker. And Bruce knows he’s more ruthless than anyone. It’s a fun game to him like whack-a-mole. And the prize is always bloodshed. He also knows how you feel and if he sends you, not only could you go out and get killed but you could kill him first. That’s a life on Bruce’s conscious.

“Do not go anywhere. I’m on a flight—“

“No! You don’t get to tell me to fucking sit here and hope for the fucking best. He is everything to me and I am not gonna sit here and let him get fucking killed, Bruce!” You seeth and the Joker should have been killed a long fucking time ago. You swear, if the Joker even lays a single finger on him, you’ll do it her damn self. Bruce is too much of a coward of what he could become if he did it. You don’t care. “The Robin suit is gone, the Joker is gonna fucking kill him and it’s all your fault!” You scream as you gather knives.

“Stay put.” Bruce is stern on the other line. “It will be dangerous and you aren’t prepared--”

“No! Fuck you!” You snip back, gathering as many knives as you can carry. “I’m gonna save him, kill the damn Joker since you’re too damn cowardly to do it and then I’m calling Dick.” You fume on the other end. “I’m gonna beg him if I have to to come and bring us back to San Franciso because fucking clearly, he’s worse off here!” You scream before hanging up the phone and heading towards the exit.

It’s not that he’s scared or even feeling uneasy. His head is clouded with a sense of nothing. Everything is just numb as he cuts the chain into the amusement park.

Jason should be scared and there’s a gnawing at the back of his head that is screaming and howling for him to be scared. To turn around. This is a bad idea. This is bad. There are red flashing lights begging him to turn around but that sense of adrenaline that would normally kick in and give him a little bit of common sense and self-preservation is being suppressed. It doesn’t exist. So, the normally loud and blinding lights that have been causing him so much pain over the last few months, aren’t loud enough. They’re useless.

As he walks further into the amusement park, he finds old and run-down games that grab his attention. This is the Joker’s hideout. It’s known. Of course, the maniac clown would like a closed amusement park. And Jason knows he should be hypervigilant. This is the Joker’s turf and he knows the Joker is here. But the drug keeps suppressing that, too.

He knows he should be more aware and more on guard but the drug gives him a false sense of confidence. He can do this. It’s the Joker. He’s just some crazy clown and if Bruce can take him down several times, Jason can do it. Bruce trained him, right? He knows better though. He should be scared and more aware. but then there’s a noise from behind him and he jumps anyway.

His heart skips before plummeting back into a resting rhythm as he spots a dead man with a creepy smile tugged on display. Jason’s eyes widen and there’s this small, tiny bit of fear that seems to bypass the anti-fear drug like a leaky faucet. And Jason starts to hear and see the red flashing lights in the back of his head in perfect color. But the point is that he isn’t supposed to feel fear at all.

Maybe his formula is a little off. How is he feeling any sense of fear? It’s barely there, barely even noticeable but it’s there enough where if he were in a normal state of mind, that alone would send him into a panic. He’d panic about being worried he’s going to panic. And that thought with the mixing of the drug, makes him miss the creeping steps of the Joker from behind him.

With a quick swing, a crowbar connects to Jason’s head and he’s sent right to the ground.

His head throbs and aches, a horrendous and shooting pain sending his head into a spin as his stomach turns. Blood drips down from his forehead, the warm liquid seeping down his cheek as he looks up to see the menacing and sadistic smile of the Joker looking down at him just as he pulls his arm back for another swing.

This swing connects with his jaw and Jason can hear the bone break. Jason’s mouth pools with blood, the taste of iron already becoming more nauseating. He groans out in agony as the Joker takes another hit to his head, his laugh echoing through the park.

His laugh rings through Jason’s ears with every blow and Jason thinks that laugh can penetrate any type of anti-fear drug. His hearing seems to get worse and worse but that laugh could pierce through solid steel. And he’s not supposed to be scared anymore.

But the Joker hits him again and Jason coughs up blood and fear starts to rush into his veins. Maybe it’s the overwhelming amount of adrenaline making the anti-fear drug wear off a lot sooner than it should. Maybe his formula needs to be tweaked. Maybe the anti-fear drug has a side effect, maybe it doesn’t work when he’s on the brink of death. Jason can’t think straight enough to figure it out. Instead, all he thinks is that he has never been more terrified than he is right now.

SMACK

WHACK

CRACK

Jason’s bones break as Joker takes a break from his face and works on his side and then his arms and legs. He swears this is the worst pain he has ever been in. The Joker hits him over and over and over again, the pain getting worse and worse as tears brim his eyes. He claws at the ground in desperation, a failing attempt to move away. But, the bones are being broken one by one and he can feel the shards with every movement. And he is so fucking sorry.

SMACK

He’s so sorry to Bruce because he should have listened. He should have been a better Robin. He should have listened. He’s so sorry he wasn’t better. He’s so sorry he wasn’t a better son. He tried his absolute best but he could have tried harder. Maybe he could have told Bruce what was going on. Maybe he could have told Bruce more about therapy. Maybe he could have explained anything that ever happened with him. Maybe he could have just tried to be a son. He’s so sorry and all he wants to do is tell Bruce he’s sorry. And thank you.

He wants to thank Bruce for trying. For taking him in. Letting him be his son and letting him be Robin. Bruce, in his weird way, cared about him and loved him. He tried even if he sucked at it sometimes. Jason wants to tell Bruce thank you.

SMACK

Jason screams as the crowbar finally shatters one of his ribs. His breathing is becoming ragged as the Joker takes another swing to Jason’s chest. The Robin suit offers a lot of protection but the Joker is relentless. He’s getting off on every scream and groan and gasp Jason lets out. It’s as if the sight of the blood seeping onto the ground and the backswing of splatter gets him off. He’s having the time of his life beating Jason to death. And Jason has never been more scared.

SMACK

He’s so scared and sorry. He’s so fucking sorry to you and he would give anything to tell you that right now. All he wants to do is call you. He wants to take it all back. He wants to go back home and crawl into your bed with you. He wants to hug you and kiss you and promise he’s doing okay and he’ll be okay. And you’ll be okay. He wants to promise you that it’ll all work out in the end, even if he doesn’t make it. He wants to tell you not to be mad or sad because he doesn’t deserve it. You don’t deserve to dwell on his inevitable death.

You both knew it was going to be him. You liked to fool yourself into thinking maybe it would be you but at the end of the day, you both knew it would always be him. Jason always knew it was gonna be him who died first. And he wants nothing more than to promise you it’ll be okay. You’ll be okay. He doesn’t want you to run yourself into the ground over him. But he knows you and he knows as the Joker takes another horrendous and agonizing hit to his skull, you’ll be miserable. This will be it for you. He’s not gonna make it and you're gonna lose your entire mind. You always said you would. And it’s all his fault.

SMACK

CRACK

He wants to shake you and tell you he’s so fucking sorry. He should have just told you what was going on. He should have told you. You would have helped him. You wouldn’t have been mad or yelled at him. Of all people, you would have understood why he went to Crane. You would have gotten it. You always understood him. And he should have told you.

He shouldn’t have lied to you. He’s so fucking sorry. And he’s so sorry for not loving you better, you deserve someone who’s not gonna do this. You deserve someone who’s not gonna get killed and didn’t even stand a damn chance. And he is so sorry he’s going to leave you alone.

He doesn’t think he’s gonna make it.

The Joker's laugh starts to sound further away as he takes another blow to the right side of his face, the crowbar connecting hard and steady against his ear. Then he can’t hear anything from that ear at all as blood starts to drip out. It’s the worst headache of Jason’s life. He can hear his skull cracking under the blows. He feels the blood seeping through his suit and onto the ground. There’s so much blood. He’s lightheaded and dizzy. It’s so hard to breathe.

SMACK

He’s not gonna make it.

And he finds himself, hoping against all odds, that someone will find him soon anyway. Maybe help will come just in time. Bruce is supposed to be the world’s greatest detective. Jason is his son. He’d figure it out. Maybe he already did and he’s actually close. Maybe he lied to Jason and he’s actually in Gotham and on his way. And maybe, you figured it out.

You're smart. You can fight off the Joker enough to get you both to safety. You were trained by Jason, Dick, Bruce. Jason believes you could do it. Maybe you're on your way. You're smart. You know Jason better than anyone. You’ll figure it out. You always figure it out. Maybe help is coming.

SMACK

Everything goes black for just a few seconds and then it’s blurry and shifted. He can’t see out of his right eye. Jason doesn’t know what’s going on as the Joker takes another smack. His laugh is just a reverberation now. The only sound he can even hear is the cracking of bones. Nothing else. And he doesn’t think he can breathe real well. He can’t move his jaw. He can’t even find the strength to try to move anymore. It all hurts and there’s so much blood.

Jason silently begs for the help he doesn’t realize will be too late just as the Joker takes a larger and harder blow to the front of his face.

He doesn’t think he’s gonna be able to hold on.

You drive to the abandoned carnival, coming up on one of the gates. Jason’s bike and helmet are right outside and the chain to the gate has been cut. You know. You know this isn’t good. It’s completely silent and you are terrified.

Silence can’t be good and a part of you hopes that maybe the Joker wants to play with Bruce. Maybe the Joker wants to kill Jason in front of him, to taunt him, that’ll give you some time to have a plan and get you both out of there, maybe. Or Bruce could make it in time to save you both.

But you creep around the grounds, cautiously but quickly. You're paying close attention to your head, making sure you don’t miss it if the throbbing you're certain will start. But, it doesn’t. Instead, you reach an open tunnel with carnival games and there’s someone lying on the ground.

It’s dark and despite you knowing damn well if it were the Joker on the ground, Jason would be over him bragging and cheering for himself, you hope it’s the Joker anyway. You hope against everything that the person laying on the ground is the Joker.

The closer you get though, the more you get the picture of the yellow and black cape.

Jason.

“No…” Your lip quivers as you pause. You're terrified to get any closer. It can’t be Jason. It can’t be. It can’t be. It can’t be. He’s strong and smart. He knows better. “No, no, no, no…” Your voice cracks as you start to walk closer and you can see him now.

There’s blood everywhere. He’s laying in a puddle of red and there’s blood splatter on the ground and the games. A bloody crowbar is tossed to the side and Jason is completely still. Your heart is in your throat as you close the distance, dropping to your knees.

“Jay…” Your voice is a whimpered whisper as you put your hand on his shoulder, pulling him to face you.

His body is completely limp and as he turns, you get the gruesome sight of what the Joker has done.

Jason’s face is mangled and unidentifiable. You can see his teeth through his jaw while there’s blood and bruising around the other side of his face. His face is swollen and paler than usual. There’s blood smeared across his face and on his lips. Some of his hair is wet with blood and sticking to his forehead. And his eyes are closed, not even trying to open.

Your heart shatters in that instant. The weight of the world has been on your shoulders for years and with the sight of his body, the world finally falls. It tumbles around you, breaking into unfixable pieces. The foundation keeping you steady is lifeless and cold and bloody.

Your lip quivers as tears start to trickle down your cheeks. Everything around you feels heavy and cold. The lump in your throat is so big and hard, you swear it’ll suffocate you finally and you’ll finally be out of this misery. The reaper creeps back from the shadow of your head, a smile similar to Joker’s shining back at you and he’s finally won. He won in a way you never thought he would.

Killing the last good parts of you, by killing him.

“Jason…” You whimper, one of your hands hesitantly going to his neck to check for a pulse. Nothing. There’s no pulse, just cold skin under the blood. “No…” You whine, tears now blurring your vision. You lean down, trying to hear him breathe and there’s nothing. He’s completely still. No breathing. Nothing. Just lifeless. “Jay, please, you can’t die.” You let out a sob, pulling Jason’s body into your lap. “I love you. You can’t die. I need you.” Your words are slurred as your nose runs and the cries grow louder.

You sob, rocking back and forth. You knew it would happen. You knew. And you should have known Jason was up to something when he didn’t go with you today. You should have known. He can’t be dead.

You swallow the lump in your throat, moving to rest Jason’s head flat on the ground while you pull out your phone, hands covered in blood. You call Bruce, putting the phone on speaker and then you start CPR. You swear it’ll be useless but you have to try anyway.

You swore every single day that you would never give up on him. And CPR isn’t going to help, but fuck it, you're not going to give up. So, you try anyway. You have to fucking try.

“Did you find him?” Bruce asks as soon as he answers.

Those words get you to let out another cry, your arms shaking as you push down on Jason’s chest. “Bruce!” You scream as your arms tremble.

Everything stops for Bruce. Pain shoots through his heart like a barbed wire arrow. He knows. He knows that cry because he’s let it out himself all those years ago. He’s heard other people. Babs. Dick. He knows and yet, it can’t be true. Not his son.

“What happened?” Bruce shakes his head, using all of his willpower not to let his voice shake.

“What do I do?” You cry, your cries are loud but there’s a weakness in your voice. “He’s not breathing and the Joker beat him with a fucking crowbar! Bruce, what do I do?” You beg Bruce to help. Your voice is slurred and panicked, pleading with all of the energy in you. He’s fucking Batman, he has to help. “What do I do? He’s not breathing. There’s so much blood, Bruce, help, please. You have to save him. Help me save him, please. Bruce, I can’t lose him, I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t.” You keep pumping on Jason’s chest but you swear it’s not working and not just because the Robin suit is so sturdy you're barely getting a compression in. You beg him and beg him, as if your pleas are enough to bring Jason back.

“I’ll send someone, keep doing CPR.” Bruce instructs with a square jaw.

“Bruce, I don’t…..I don’t think it’s helping.” You wail and you can’t breathe. It’s so hard to breathe. “I don’t think…..Bruce….” You let out a cough as your elbows shake and you're losing rhythm of the chest compressions.

“Keep going, don’t stop until they get there. I’m landing soon.” Bruce instructs and he never should have gone. He should have seen it. How the hell did he miss this?

“There’s so much blood…Bruce.”

Barbara Gordon and a few trusted people close to Bruce show up first. They find you still trying to perform CPR. You're slower now, and you're not getting the impact you need to make a difference. Your arms are weak and you're nearly hyperventilating and choking on your own tears.

The paramedics try their best to get you off of him but you scream and yell and cry for them to get off of you. You shove them off of you and you try and try and try. Bruce is still on the phone, telling you to let them do their job but you can’t. You can’t do it. You can’t because then you give up. You can’t give up on him. Not him.

“Hey.” Barabra wheels over a few feet away from you and she gets a look at the damage as her stomach turns and she knows he’s gone. “You need to stop.” Her voice is calm as she tries to keep it together.

“No!” You scream and you feel too weak to deal with any of it. He was your everything. “I can’t.”

The paramedics look at Babraba waiting to be told what to do and they know, too. His face is completely destroyed. He’s unrecognizable. The only reason Barabra even knows it’s Jason is because of the Robin suit. There’s brain matter on the ground. There’s more blood on the ground than there is in his body.

“Bluejay.” Barbara calls again, her voice cracking and this gets you to look at her. Even in the dark, Babara can see the redness of your eyes and the tears shining on the top half of your cheek above your mask. “He’s gone.” Babraba’s eyes go misty and you shake your head.

“No…” You whine and you finally stop but your hands stay on his chest. “No, not…no.” You let out a sob and you can’t even see Barbara anymore, the tears have blurred everything together. “I can’t.” You fall back, one of the paramedics catching you so you don’t hit the pavement too hard. The other paramedic jumps in and to Jason, just to be completely positive.

You shove the paramedic off of you and walk the few feet weakly to Barbara. “I-I…what--” You suck in a harsh breath, your breathing so rapid you feel like you're going to pass out.

“Sit down.” Barbara tries to keep her composure and you collapse with a loud sob, your entire chest feeling like it’s been set on fire with gasoline.

It can’t be him. Why him? He was good. He was a good person and funny and smart and kind. Jason had a heart of gold. Why did it have to be him? It never should have been him. He always deserved so much better. He never deserved this. This isn’t fair. It’s not right and it’s so fucking painful you wish the ground would just open up and swallow you whole.

“Babs!” You scream. “I-I-I don’t I don’t wanna do it anymore.” Your teeth grit together as your words are wet and slurred.

You can’t breathe. You can’t breathe. It’s hard to breathe and your chest feels like it’s all caving in under the pressure. Maybe putting your heart in a pressure cooker would be less painful than this. Everything fucking hurts.

Barbara rests a hand on your shoulder and she knew Jason was reckless but she didn’t think he’d ever actually get himself killed. He was smart. Smarter than this. You cover your face with your hands, not caring you're covered in Jason’s blood. You just want everything to stop. The pain and the world and time and everything. You want it all to be over.

“I’m so sorry.” Barbara offers and there is nothing she can say that’s going to make this better.

“I can’t.” You spit and push Barabra’s hand off you before getting to your feet.

You push through the pain, running away. Barbara yells after you but you do not care. You make yourself run through the pain and the weakness. If you can do anything, it’s run from it. You want to run as far as your legs will let you. To the bike where you can speed away from it all. Speed so fast the pain goes away. The agony will fade if you run. You can do it. You tell yourself you can as tears fall down your face. You toss the helmet on and hop on the bike, and leave. You've always been good at running. You can run from it.

You're in the bathroom back at the manor, scrubbing the blood off of your hands through tears. Everything is blurry and painful. It’s burning and agonizing and stabbing. It aches and throbs. Breathing is the hardest thing you've ever done. You try to get in a full breath but every time you do, a sob immediately follows and it’s like the wind is knocked out from your lungs all over again. Your head is spinning with a throbbing headache and your eyes are so puffy you can barely open them. But, there’s blood staining your hands, Jason’s blood, and you have to get it off. You have to get it off.

Get it off. Get it off. Get it off.

You grit your teeth so hard that your jaw starts to pulse and you hate it. You hate this so much. You hate it and you want him back. You need him. He is everything to you. He is your everything. He is your best friend and you love him more than you've ever loved anyone. And he’s supposed to take care of you and you're supposed to take care of him. And it’s not fair and it’s senseless and it was brutal and you scream at the top of your lungs before falling to the floor. You lean against the counter, pulling your legs to your chest as you put your hands on your face because you can’t do this anymore

You talked about what life you could have together. And you swear you saw it. For the first time, you were optimistic about a future. Because you had him. He gave you all of this hope for the future because Jason could survive anything. He was supposed to survive anything. He was good at it. Dodging whatever fucked up shit the world was going to throw at him. And now he’s not. He didn’t dodge fast enough. And you were supposed to have an apartment one day together. And make dinner together. And have a dog and a cat because Jason always really liked cats. He’d come home and you’d clean up the blood and he’d do the same for you when patrol got a little messy. You were supposed to have a life together.

You don’t know how you're supposed to get up again after this.

And then Molly walks in.

She’s been crying since Bruce called her and asked her to check on you. He’s worried about what you might do and seeing you on the floor absolutely hysterical, she knows why. Of course, she knew it would be bad. Her best friend just lost the person she loves. Of course, you're going to be a mess but….you're covered in blood and Bruce didn’t tell her what happened. And on top of that, you still have the suit on, minus the mask, which is another surprise Molly did not expect to get today.

Molly says your name with hesitance as she walks in, sitting on the floor in front of you.

You look up, moving your hands. “M-Molly.” You whine, your bottom lip trembling, the hood of your suit barely lets Molly get a glimpse of your face that’s covered in blood as well.

Molly nods. “Bruce called.” Her voice is just above a whisper.

“He….Molly…h-h-he…d-di-died..” You let out a sob as you shake your head and you just want it to be done. You're so fucking tired.

“I know.” Molly lets out a soft cry, sniffling softly.

“H-he’s dead.” Your entire body jerks with another cry as you hang your head. You're so fucking tired. Tired of all of it.

“I know.” Molly closes the distance between you, pulling you into a hug and allowing you to completely break against her. And then Molly starts crying because Jason was her best friend, too. “I’m so sorry.” Molly manages to get out.

“I can’t do it.” Your voice is weak against her.

“Can’t what?” Molly pulls away, her hands still on your shoulders as if trying to stabilize you.

Any of it. You can’t do any of it. You're covered in his blood and it all hurts. You're weak and tired and exhausted. It’s all agonizing and paralyzing and numb. It’s all too much. And you just cannot do any of it anymore.

“Blood and…” Your breathing is labored, your head swaying slightly. And you're so lightheaded and nauseous. “Do this.”

“One thing at a time.” Molly stands up and grabs a wash rag, wetting it with soap and water. Molly can break later. You need help. “Let me see.” You hand your hand to Molly and Molly starts cleaning.

Molly expects to find some sort of wound but she finds nothing. The more she scrubs, the more blood comes off and it’s just your skin under it. And she shakes her head because what the fuck happened to Jason that got you covered in his blood? A part of her almost doesn’t want to know. But, she has to ask anyway. Bruce was a little vague. So, after a few minutes, with your cries becoming quieter, Molly decides to ask.

“C-can I ask you what happened?” Molly is seeing that you're actually one of the suited vigilantes that roam Gotham so she’s guessing something with a bad guy went a little south.

And you don’t care anymore. None of it matters anymore. Jason is dead. It’s not his secret anymore. You're in your suit anyway and Bruce isn’t home. You're all alone anyway.

“Joker beat him to death with a crowbar.” You answer plainly Molly feels her stomach turn.

“What?” Molly’s heart stops in her chest.

You nod as you sniffle, watching Molly clean the remainder of Jason’s blood from your hands. “He was Robin.” Your voice is hoarse as you talk.

Molly pauses, blinking at you and she’s so confused. And this whole thing is growing more and more unsettling. Maybe she shouldn’t have asked.

“He…Jason was Robin?”

You nod again, sniffling. “Yeah.”

“You found him?” Molly asks. Why did you have to find him? Of all people, it just had to be you. Of course, it was you.

“Yeah.” More tears start to fall from your eyes and you can see him every time you blink. That’s going to be your last memory of him and it hurts so fucking bad you want to leave.

“I’m…I’m sorry. Is this all his?” Molly’s voice grows a little panicked. She can’t even imagine the sight you walked in on.

“There was a lot of blood. The head bleeds a lot.” You clear your throat before you sniffle again.

Molly is terrified you're going to start giving her gory details. Not on purpose but because you're too tired to care. The crying is slowing down and that always means you will talk. You stop caring and then you talk. Molly doesn’t want to know and you don’t need to relive the horror verbally.

“Okay, um…okay you stay here. I’m gonna get you some clothes.” Molly stands up quickly.

“C-can you…Jsaon’s room, there’s a…maroon hoodie. It was his favorite.” You look up at her as Molly heads to the doorway.

“Yeah, I’ll be back.” Molly nods quickly.

You let out another cry and you don’t think you’ll be able to survive this one. It’s too heavy. It’s too much. There’s only so much one person can take. And you swear as you shiver on the bathroom door with broken sobs tearing up your throat that Jason Todd was your breaking point. Jason Todd is dead and you swear you’ll never recover.

prev. chapter | next chapter

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

A/n: So, this is what Jason looks like in his death scene and he looks scared. Which, is probably a plothole because Titans (or them trying to throw us off since it's episode 1 ?? idk) but I decided I was just gonna use that anyway for fun lol Also fun fact, I was originally not going to include his death scene since we saw it in the show but then I rewatched UTRH and was encouraged by my best friend to make it worse so I did. And I'm really glad I included it lol I'm sorry but I really like how it turned out lol

Tag list: @fairyofshampoo // @italiana-20 // @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai  // @makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss  // @ghostkingblake // @im-done-with-this-im-out // @velvetskies // @lilylovelyxo // @cryinghotmess // @yesimwriting // @vivian-555 // @stainedstardom // @baebeepeach // @legend-o-zelda // @harleycao // @somehow-lovable-trash  // @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx // @deyja-the-duck // @jasontoddslover //  @captainmarvels-blog // @totallynotkaibiased // @scarlovesyou // @whydoyoucare866 // @littlemeowmeow1000

[nicolewoo]

Super Earth Part 3 Liftoff

Pairing: Roman Reigns X Reader

Warnings: None

I opened the door, and the cameras went wild. I waived shyly as I took my seat next to Jamie.  Roman’s seat was on the other end of the table. The crowd of press settled down quickly.

“Sorry to be late. I was handling last minute details.”

“Everything ok?” My boss asked.

I smiled, “Just checking the pollen counts of his samples.” I replied.

“Captain Y/N?” The reporters clamored for my attention.

I chose Leslie first. She had done great coverage of our last mission, “Captain, this is your third mission?” I nodded yes. “And the longest too. It’s well known that you asked for this mission.”

I interrupted “asked…. Begged…. Bribed….” The audience laughed.

“Why this particular mission?” Great question Leslie. She knew I could easily answer it.

I exhaled as I sat up a little. “Our planet is wounded. We are too populated, too polluted. Colonies like the one on Super Earth can be our saving grace. Think of it, an entire planet larger than our own where humanity can expand and ease our burden on Earth. The Super Earth colonists, headed by amazing scientists like this group” I motioned to the group we were taking “have learned to make electricity from the tides of the ocean.”

Jamie added, “it’s not perfected yet.”

I nodded to her. “Right, but here’s my point. The colony was built with zero damage to Super Earth. Zero. We have sworn not to ruin Super Earth by poluting there. The colonists had to learn to work with the planet instead of against it. Imagine what we can do to heal our own planet once these technologies are perfected. Getting scientists to the planet is essential. I want to do my part.”

Jamie jumped in before the press could ask a question. “Plus, we” she motioned to indicate her and me “get a three month vacation on the planet.” She leaned back in her chair as the crowd laughed.

“Yeah well,” Dr. Rhea Ripley, one of three scientists from Australia, said as she leaned back the same way Jamie did “I get a 9 month vacation while you two drive.” The crowd laughed.

Dr. Reigns’ low voice filled the room “Speak for yourself! I’ve got plants to tend to! A botanist’s job is never done.” The press loved the banter.

“In truth,” I started, “These scientists will be doing experiments the whole way. In fact, I’ve seen their schedules. It’s pretty booked.”

Roman answered “and on top of that, Captain YLN has just agreed to teach me how to fly the ship!” He’d thrown me for a loop, but I recovered my composure quickly.

“See? They’ll be busy.” I said. More laughter.

“So what WILL you do on your three month vacation Captain?” A reporter asked.

“I plan on learning about the planet and all the work being done there. But if I get the time, I was hoping to hone my chess skills.”

The innocuous answer barely registered with the press. They immediately asked Jamie the same question. She joked about getting a tan on the ocean planet, but I couldn’t listen, because I could feel Roman’s stare boring into me. The answer wasn’t innocuous to him. He understood my message, and when I allowed myself to look over at him for a second, I found him smiling.

————————————————————

Jamie hit the intercom button and motioned me to start. “Crew, passengers, we are getting ready to take off. For those of you who haven’t done this before, remember to tighten your seatbelt, turn your seat toward the cockpit and take deep breaths. If you get nauseous, close your eyes and try to relax.”

The radio clicked “Explorer, are you ready for takeoff?” Jamie answered the base.

“If you get too sick, there’s a container right by your left hand. Use it and close it. Remember we will not have gravity for this part of our trip, so if you don’t cover it, you might end up with some on you.”

“Explorer, We are ready to count on your mark.” The radio crackled again.

“Just a reminder, this is my third mission, and I haven’t lost anyone yet.” I joked through the intercom. “Just listen to me, and I’ll get you through this. We’re going to start our count down now.”

I nodded at Jamie and she answered again. “Base, we are ready. Start the count.”

We fired up the engines.

10. I checked my own seatbelt and nodded to Jamie.

9. “Let’s do this.” She said.

8 We were preparing for liftoff, checking dials, levels, buttons, all last minute checks.

7  My brain was doing continuous checks on the ships systems.

6 Roman was back there. Was he scared? Will he get sick?

5 I had to be perfect on this mission. I had to keep him safe.

4 I had a whole ship of people to keep safe. 40 total.

3 The silence in the cockpit was broken now by only the sound of the engines.

2 “Let’s do this!” Jamie said.

1 “Here we go.” I said over the intercom

———————————————

“Doctor Thorp, how are our passengers?” I asked. Thorp was our doctor. We’d worked together on two missions and were friends.

Thorp’s response was fast, “Only two pukers and 4 passed out.”

“Pretty good.” I joked back. “Everyone recovered?”

“Yup. They’re up and moving and brushing their teeth.” He laughed.

I unbuckled myself, getting out of my seat and stretching. Jamie did the same. “Who do you think puked?” she asked.

Mentally, I ran through our passenger list. “The scientist from Norway.” I guessed and she agreed. “And….. Canada… that Zayne guy.”

“No way! She laughed. It’s the German guy….. GUNTAR!!!” She overly pronounced it like he did. “It’s always the big guys.”

Checking the ship’s controls I chortled, “Wanna put $20 on it?” She shook my hand to seal the bet.

 “Who do you think passed out? Not that hottie from the US!” Her devious smile said more than her words.

I had to hide my face, before she realized I was hiding something. I busied myself looking at the communications panel. “Dr. Reigns? Nah, he’s one of those guys that never loses control.” I mused.

“I gotta say, I’m glad he’s on this trip. Great eye candy.” She fanned herself with her clipboard indicating he was hot. If she only knew…. Those muscles. That tattoo…. His Adonnis Belt……………..

I took a deep breath and tried to calm my body, but it didn’t comply. “He’s definitely handsome” I replied casually, and she must have believed the act, because she changed the subject.

“Oh! I forgot to tell you. I did manage to get a copy of that TV show you wanted…. The Tudors?” She said. “Wanna watch some tonight?”

I needed a quick distraction, “Don’t think I can. I need to meet with Dr. Zayne about his experiment.” I tried to sound casual.

Jamie looked at me, cocking her head to the side. “What’s going on?” She didn’t believe me. “What is your interest in all these scientists?” She didn’t suspect it was Reigns…. She thought something was going on with all the scientists.

Giving her the completed checklist, I looked directly at her. “Nothing…. Just….” I hesitated, trying to think what to say. Suddenly, I had an idea. “It’s top secret.”

She was shocked. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t know.”

That lie bought me some time.

————————————-

My phone beeped, and I opened it to find Roman’s stunning face smiling at me. “Hey, you alone?”

I nodded. “Yes, but what would have done if I’d said no?”

He laughed, “I was going to pretend some of my research was top secret, and you had clearance.”

“Thinking on your feet Dr. Reigns? Well done!” I smiled at him.

“I think it’s a little late to be calling me Dr. Reigns” he laughed. “Just call me Roman.”

“Agreed.” I answered, “and you can call me Captain YLN” I teased.

He rolled his eyes at me. “Can I come see you tonight?”

“No.” I answered quickly. “We have to be more careful than that. Why don’t we meet in your lab?”

“That’s pretty public!” He protested.

I laughed. “Just trust me, please.”

He laughed. “Ok. My lab. 10 minutes?”

__________________________________________________________________________________

@mindofasagitarius @lclb13 @serenityfiretrash @lustyromantic @reigns-5sos @bigpsychicbagelauthor @omg-im-such-a-masochist @marlananicole @wickedsunfire @starwithaheart @spookys-girl @pitlissa22 @snowpanda18 @thesamoanqueen @sassginaswanmills

[50calmadeuce]

Ch. 9: Jake and The Hard Deck

Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Top Gun: Maverick world, trademarked by Paramount Pictures Corporation. I do not claim ownership of the characters and the world that I am borrowing.

The story and situation I am creating are a work of my imagination and I do not ascribe them to official story canon. This work is for entertainment only and is not a part of the storyline.

I also do not own the rights or copyrights of 'Mandolin Rain' by Bruce Hornsby and the Range or 'Second Chance' by 38 Special. I just happen to really like these songs.

I am not profiting financially from the creation and publication of this story, but I do hope it gives you happy thoughts.

These stories are my own, so please do not take them and use them for yourself without my permission. If you see them somewhere else, please let me know. :)

Jake sat on the couch in his apartment, gazing out of the window.

"Bro, you've got to get out. You're starting to drive me crazy," his best friend Javy 'Coyote' Machado urged. "I've never seen you come home this upset before."

Jake turned to look at him. "Have I ever mentioned Y/N to you?"

Coyote pondered for a moment. "I think I recall. High school sweetheart, right? The reason you've been steering clear of relationships since."

"Yeah, she's the one," Jake admitted, taking a moment to gather himself. "And that's also why I've been feeling this need to prove myself, to show her I'm the best for her."

Coyote perched on the armrest of the couch. "I had no idea it ran that deep."

Jake met his gaze. "I saw her."

"Wait, seriously? She was home?"

"Her mom passed away. I had no clue until her brother asked me to help bring in cattle one of the days."

"Damn. I'm really sorry to hear that."

"We shared a kiss."

Coyote's eyes widened. "That's something, man!"

"Before I found out she's engaged."

"Ouch!"

Jake's gaze fell downward. "Yeah."

Coyote sprang up, playfully smacking Jake's arm. "Come on, let's get out of here. Shoot some pool, throw some darts. Anything to take your mind off it.:

Jake met his eyes. "True and I need to clear my head."

"Good. Now go and get dressed."

You entered The Hard Deck around 8 p.m. The place was alive with pilots and women, a mix of those in Navy uniforms and others in civilian attire.

You had phoned ahead, speaking with the owner to inquire about the presence of a jukebox and specifically if they had the song 'Mandolin Rain'. The woman on the other end was pleasant and regretfully informed you they didn't have your song, but assured you she could arrange it. You took the opportunity to share a bit about yourself and the plan to surprise Jake. It didn't surprise you that she was acquainted with him, though she was taken aback to learn about his past relationship. You mentioned that you would introduce yourself when you arrived.

As you scanned the room, your gaze settled on Jake at the pool table, dressed in a khaki uniform like the others around him. He was poised to take a shot, and you found yourself unable to look away. In that moment, Leslie's words rang painfully true. You felt like a fool. For years, you had only seen Jake as, well, Jake. The boy next door, a familiar face your family had known for years, who had professed his love for you, but it had never truly registered. You really didn't understand how deep Jake really loved you.

You approached the bar, where a striking brunette locked eyes with you.

"What can I get you?" she politely inquired.

"I called earlier. I'm Y/N," you explained.

Surprised, she gave you a quick once-over before nodding towards the pool table. "Jake's over there."

"I know. I just wanted to assure you that I'm real and I have no intention of hurting him."

She nodded. "I sensed that. You don't sound like the others." She extended her hand. "I'm Penny. Penny Benjamin."

You smiled and shook her hand. "Thank you, and it's nice to meet you, Penny."

"You want something to drink?"

"I'll take a beer."

"Coming right up." She swiftly wiped the bar.

You continued to watch Jake as he played pool, but something just seemed off. He didn't seem like the cheerful Jake you knew. Just then, a blonde in jean shorts and a white tank top walked up to him and whispered something in his ear, but Jake shook his head and the girl walked away sadly.

Penny came back with the beer. "Here you go."

"How much do I owe you?"

"It's on the house. Any friend of Hangman's is a friend of mine. H22 is your song."

You grabbed the beer. "Thanks." You then made your way to the juke box, grabbed some quarters out of your pocket, put them in when 'Second Chance' by 38 Special caught your eye. You pushed that button and then selected H22. You then stepped over to the table a couple of feet away. Close enough to watch him, but also far enough away to hide.

The current song finished playing and 'Second Chance' by 38 Special started to play.

[twistedtummies2]

Year of the Bat - Number 14

Welcome to Year of the Bat! In honor of Kevin Conroy, Arleen Sorkin, and Richard Moll, I’m counting down my Top 31 Favorite Episodes of “Batman: The Animated Series” throughout this January. TODAY’S EPISODE QUOTE: “This used to be a beautiful street. Good people lived here once.” Number 14 is…Appointment in Crime Alley.

Much like “The Forgotten,” or the Honorable Mentions “See No Evil," "Paging the Crime Doctor," and “A Bullet for Bullock,” this is an episode that shows that some of the best Batman stories aren’t necessarily tales of him taking down mad supervillains or going on grand, sweeping adventures. Sometimes, the best stories are the most down-to-Earth, simple, and unsettlingly real. “Appointment in Crime Alley” is the introduction of Leslie Thompkins – one of the more unsung members of the “Bat-Family,” in my opinion – and is based on the comic “There is No Hope in Crime Alley!” I’ve never actually read the comic this episode was based on, so I can’t judge it as an adaptation in any way (unlike previous similar instances, such as “Joker’s Millions” or “Never Fear”). Thankfully, this episode stands up so well on its own terms, that’s not really an issue.

The plot focuses on Batman/Bruce Wayne making an annual pilgrimage to Park Row, a.k.a. Crime Alley. It’s a lonely, largely abandoned section of Gotham; once one of its more prosperous areas, it has, over time, descended into ruin, becoming a broken slum where derelicts and degenerates propagate. The primary reason the sorry place remains standing is because it’s been sanctioned off as a historic site. On top of that, there are still people who live in Crime Alley, and they refuse to see their home bulldozed. This isn’t enough to stop recurring antagonist Roland Daggett: a crooked businessman who wants to destroy all of Crime Alley, so that he can use the land for his own ends. To this end, Daggett hires an explosives expert and arsonist called Nitro, who goes about setting time bombs across the area, with the intention being to blow up the whole place – people and all – and make it look like an accident on account of faulty gas pipes. When Bruce’s friend, Leslie Thompkins, is kidnapped by Nitro, Batman must try to save her and Park Row from inevitable doom, all while dealing with a gauntlet of other problems that keep getting in his way during this race against the clock.

“Appointment in Crime Alley” is one of the most suspenseful and gritty episodes of the series. The direct ties to Batman’s tragic origins are a big part of what make it so memorable; Bruce goes through all of this with the simple and sad purpose of laying flowers on the spot where his parents met their untimely ends. It’s a ritual he treats with great reverence, and what’s interesting about all this is you’d think he’d hate Crime Alley as much as anybody else, given both its reputation and his history with the spot. Instead, Bruce strives to save both it and Leslie. Of course, this is expected; he’s the hero, and Leslie is someone very close to him: she is one of his mentor figures, a sort of surrogate mother in the same way Alfred is often perceived as a surrogate father. Also, he can hardly let dozens of innocent people die because of Daggett and Nitro.

However, I think there’s more to it than even that: there’s a lot of talk in this episode about the state of Crime Alley, comparing its despoiled status with its former glory. In a way, the place seems to be a microcosm of Gotham itself: this little spot of crime, corruption, and rampant poverty, which many in the city see as a seeping, infected growth that needs to be amputated. It’s made clear, however, that Crime Alley ISN’T just a den of thieves and lowlifes: the people who live here aren’t all bad people, with Leslie being among them. Bruce recognizes this better than anyone: it’s one of Gotham’s darkest corners, but Leslie represents hope and warmth there, someone who wants to save lives and make people happy in a place where those things seem almost impossible. I can’t help but feel there’s a subtle indication there of where so much of Batman’s personality and philosophy came from: he, too, is someone who seeks to do these things, in a place that, overall, many would argue is the same, but he works on a more grandiose scale. It’s an interesting parallel, and gives us some unique looks into Bruce’s mind and heart alike. Tense, dark, emotional, and layered with ample nuance, “Appointment in Crime Alley” is an episode that matches its namesake: one small, black moment in an already dark show, yet with some surprising light hidden in its depths.

Tomorrow we move on to Number 13! Hint: “Without Batman, crime has no punchline.”