#rue bennett fanfiction

[infernalodie]

𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 || 𝐑𝐮𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐭

"𝘗𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘚𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘰𝘤𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘖𝘧𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘗𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦"

Inspo: Kamal. - people don't change - demo

Pairing: Rue Bennett x Black!Male!reader

Summary: Maybe you had held out for hope for no reason...

Warnings: Reader and Rue dated prior to Jules ever arriving, drug abuse, and a lot of angst.

Words: 1253

DNI IF YOU'RE YOUNGER THAN 18 OR SENSITIVE TO THE WARNINGS ABOVE!

At the heart, you wanted to believe Rue was trying to get clean. Indeed, you wouldn’t be a friend if you didn’t believe it. What made it hard was sitting in this parking lot, standing by the counter to grab your guys’ food and knowing precisely what she was doing inside your car. A powdered line along your phone case with a rolled-up bill in hand. Her shame had no limits.

And you weren’t going to try and act high and mighty because you’ve done your fair share of drugs. But you didn’t let them take ahold of your life like Rue has.

But who were you to judge? It’s not like you were someone that had control in her life. You were a mere ex-boyfriend and only recently she had befriended you again after the two of you caught up from the few months of her being in rehab.

You didn’t know how to navigate around the clear issue she had been sent to deal with. And the people in her life, like Fez, weren’t exactly helping. Him giving her drugs after knowing about her going to rehab set her back at square one. The difference was he cared about her, unlike most drug dealers. So, you could respect him for that.

Once again; what could you possibly even do?

Grabbing the bag of food, you walked to the vehicle. Rue noticed your approach and slipped out with a tired smile. “I’ve been needing this.”

You smiled. “I’m glad I can be of service.” Handing her the food, you moved to the other side of the car and took your own out.

“Yeah, man. Mom’s been on my ass about these drugs and shit. I can barely be able to go out anymore without her throwing a drug test in my direction.” She took a bite of her burger, humming in satisfaction.

A groan fell from your lips that hadn’t been intentional but simply slipped out. “Here we go again.”

Hearing that made Rue frown. Her lips twitched in a confused grin with her head tilting slightly. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Taking a bite out of your burger, you grabbed a napkin and wipe your lips. “You’re always complaining. Why does everyone keep walking out of my life? Maybe you keep pushing them away? Perhaps you’re the problem.”

Rue scoffed, shaking her head. “I don’t complain, man. Ask anyone and they’ll tell you that.”

“That’s all you do, Rue,” you laughed. “You don’t realize it, but when you were gone, Leslie had me driving Gia to school instead of the bus and I get to hear all about that shit.” Rue, of course, hadn’t known this considering the two of you ended things on a harsh note with her slapping you in front of the entire football team. Now, you weren’t going to take the full blame because you had yelled at her for deciding to skip out on your game to do drugs. And your anger came from your worry, but she hadn’t seen it that way and it resulted in her cutting all ties to you. “You complain and complain about your circumstances and why it won’t get easier. You say you want “change” but you don’t want to change.”

“Pretty high and mighty coming from the asshole smoking weed in front of me,” Rue pointed out, snarky. “If I had recovered at rehab, you would be the cause of me going back to drugs. You ever think about that?”

You smiled, leaning your arms on the roof of the vehicle and saying, “I wouldn’t if I knew you were off of them but I hear everything from Fez. You completely forget that I buy my shit from him.”

She looked about ready to walk away just so this didn’t ruin her high. But you continued, keeping her shortening care to listen. “Rue, you aren’t unique, all right? If I have to be the one to tell you, then I will. But you are just like every addict in this world that is struggling just like you. They had something happen in their lives that put them down the same path as you.” Sighing, you tapped your hand on the roof of your vehicle and said, “The difference is people in your life care and have been trying everything to help you, but you won’t accept it.”

“Why do you even care?” Rue asked.

Exhaling deeply, you said, “Because for a time, I loved you and I still care about you enough to tell you when you are being a jackass. And maybe I had hope that you would get better and go back to who you were before all this shit.” She stared at you for a few moments, perhaps thinking. Whether she was or not, you glanced away before popping open the door. “But then again, I don’t mean jack shit.” And you left her with that hanging statement for most of the ride.

Life had its way of working things out and you were sure that in some way, your words would come to reality for Rue. There hadn’t been malice for years and your intentions weren’t to destroy her. But you saw the only way she could heal was to crumble and repair afterwards. There could only be so much pain and torment she could take before she had to look for a way to pivot to either keep herself safe or keep the people she cared about in her life. And you hoped she found it sooner than later because you could already see the aftermath of her decisions if she kept down this road.

Pulling up outside of her house, you placed the car in park and allowed your hands to fall by your thighs. Leaning your head back into the cushioning of the headrest, exhaling softly.

Rue shifted from time to time, clearly wanting to express her thoughts. She could get out of the car and walk away with the remnants of resentment she’d held against you for years. But she didn’t. She sat there, uncomfortable in her thoughts that she couldn’t put together well enough to make a coherent and important statement.

Sighing, you said, “I know you don’t care about what others think Rue and I can’t change your mind. I am just an ex-boyfriend that you dated for a little while. I can accept that.” Turning toward her, you shook your head. “But your mom, Gia, Fez, Maddy–everyone fucking cares. The last thing anyone wants to see is your face on the early morning news dead from an overdose. I don’t want to see that shit.”

Rue chewed on her bottom lip, nodding to herself. As she went to grab the door handle, she stopped, looking back at you and muttering, “You know, I’m sorry about us-”

“Don’t.” Rue watched as you shook your head, glancing at her. “You don’t need to go digging into the past to apologize to me when you should be focused on the road ahead. It’s embarrassing.”

Again, harsh. But needed. And for the first time since the start of the argument, Rue didn’t bite back or protest. Almost agreeing. Because it was despicable how she desperately tried to indirectly apologize. Especially for something she knew she didn’t deserve the opportunity to apologize for. “It’s in the past and you found someone new and I’m happy for you.” Unlocking her door, you sighed. “Just don’t go ruining it like we did with our relationship.”

[mauvecherie-writes]

Roses Can Be Pink.

pairing: Rue Bennett x Black FOC!Monique.

Euphoria AU.

summary: parties can be fun with the right person.

tags: 18+ MINORS DNI, smut, wlw, euphoria AU, rue is over 21, rue is in recovery, instant connections, fingering, oral sex, mention of toys.

notes: this is the first time I’ve written queer content in a long, long time so when I say I’m RUSTY, I mean it! This one is dedicated to my best girl @melodicheauxxo I love you and I hope you love it!

word count: 1.8K

tip jar 💕 taglist 💕

“Aren’t you glad you came to the party? You’re having fun aren’t you.” Your friend, Sammie

gloats as she hands you a glass of wine spritz. You roll your eyes trying to refuse a smile from spreading across your face. You gently shrug your shoulders before bringing your glass close to your mouth.

“It’s aight, don’t get too big headed. I could leave any time to go enjoy Bob’s Burgers.” You say before taking a sip of your drink, the cool liquid soothing your throat. She rolls her eyes before linking her arm with yours and pulling you the rest of the people away from the kitchen.

It was more of a kickback than an outright party with some old college buddies. It’s been over a year since graduating from film school and you have been working in the industry since, doing what you love and you met most of the people here through college except for your best friend - who was currently dragging you to meet some new people.

Entering the room, there’s a few people already inside with an anime you’re unfamiliar with playing on the tv as they huddled close as they played UNO.

“Hey guys!” Sammie breaks their concentration and brings it to you guys as you stand underneath the door frame. There’s one person who immediately draws your attention though. Their honey brown curls unruly but they fall perfectly around her face and rest on her shoulders. Her eyes trail down your body as she leans back into the couch. They come back to your face and a smile is hidden behind her cup as you bashfully break eye contact and squirm beside Sammie.

“This is my best friend Monique! She finally left her house and grace us with her presence.”

“I’m not that bad.” You nudge her shoulder. “I’ve been busy.” You defend yourself with a smile and a roll of your eyes - a habit you happen to always do around her. You love Sammie and it’s not like you were avoiding her on purpose but her parties (parties in general) always overwhelm you so typically just stay away from them.

“Whatever!” She replies before she smiles, taking your hand and sitting you close to the woman you had been eyeing up. The warmth of your blush still tainting your cheeks. You’re a little tense but you take in her soft yet musky scent as you try to lean back into the couch.

“Please keep my friend entertained and comfortable. I’ll be back for her later.” Sammie winked at you before leaving you with the small group. You’re not a shy person so the introductions are swift and quick but the lady sitting beside you is causing your nervousness to spike which isn’t normal.

What’s worse, you think she can notice the affect she’s having on you.

“I’m Rue.” Her voice is soft and melodious. It’s kind of low in pitch but it suits her perfectly. You scold yourself for thinking too much about how her voice sounds but you can’t help it but the instant attraction is wrecking you.

“Nice to meet you.” You shake her hand that was in front of her. Like her voice, her skin is so soft, her fingers are long and slender but her nails are neatly trimmed, painted black. Absentmindedly you lick your lips thinking about her fingers and god you’re such a creep, you’ve just met her and your mind is already going there.

Fortunately the rest of the night, things go really well. The conversation flows so naturally between the two of you that you couldn’t believe you’ve only met today. She’s a friend of Maddy’s who works with Sammie and have been since childhood really and in not so many words, she had let you know that she wasn’t much of a drinker anymore due to previous substance issues from her past. She had been sipping on cranberry and blackberry juice all night as to not draw attention to herself. People were nosy and if they saw her drinking from a red solo cup, she knew no one was going to ask questions.

At some point of the night, you decide to give Rue a tour of your friend’s house finally reaching the guest room that’s your designated room wherever you slept over.

“So what made you choose film?” Rue asks you as you guys had settled on the floor, rolling a ball to each other as the muffled music from the party filtered into your room.

“I love the arts you know? I live for them. They’ve changed and influenced my life and I just felt like I want to be a part of that you know? Like being a part of something that influence change and be positive in someone’s life is a great deal.” As you speak so passionately you could feel her eyes on you which doesn’t stop the feelings she’s enticing within you. It was so strange to get such a visceral reaction to Rue and for the most part, the last few hours have been heavenly.

“Why are you staring at me.” You whisper. You chew on your bottom lip as you let your body fall to one side.

“I like watching you talk.” Rue answers candidly. “You become really animated and there’s this glow to you that makes you more attractive than I already think you are.”

You hold onto your cheeks as your shoulders pull up bashfully.

“Don’t get shy on me.” Rue licks her lips as she pulls your hands away from your face. You still turn your head away from her but with her fingers, she directs your gaze back onto hers. Rue’s eyes are sparkling in the dark as you bear into each other’s souls. The connection that you’re feeling towards her could not be denied.

“Do you feel that?” She asks as she intertwines your fingers with hers, pulling you closer to her body. You shift your bodies so that your legs are overlapping each other and the warmth of your core is radiating onto her thigh.

“Yeah.” You whisper. “I thought I was going a little crazy but I feel so … good around you, it’s insane.” Rue chuckles at your response as she cups your chubby cheeks and rubs your skin with the pad of her thumbs.

“Can I kiss you Monique? I really, really want to kiss you.”

“Yes. Please.” You breathe out before you can utter something else, her lips are on yours. Your stomach erupts in a fever of flatters, nervousness swimming in your veins as your eyes close as your softly kiss her back. However, as the kiss deepens, the lesser you were nervous and enjoyed the kiss. Slow and passionate, in no rush whatsoever and it makes you feel desired. Your hands trail down from the back of her neck to her waist and you pull on her tighter, wanting to feel more of her.

Her tongue swirls around yours which sends a shiver down your spine and your cunt clenches around nothing as your arousal sparks your body into a frenzy of need, a need Rue easily picks up on.

“Lay down.” She whispers to you and you follow the instruction without hesitation. Rue brings your legs to your waist, caressing your thighs as she hovers above you.

“Can I go on?” She asks and you inaudibly nod your head. You’re quiet as she strips your trousers and panties away from your body. “Fuck. I knew your pussy would be so beautiful.” She rasps as her hands travel back up your thighs and her thumbs part your heated core. A shiver runs down your spine as your cunt aches, you wanted more, you anticipate the next move. Rue slides the straps of your cami top down until your breasts are exposed.

Her long fingers tease and pinch your nipples which causes you to squirm. Begging for attention, Rue leans forward and wraps her lips around your areola and shoves two fingers into your cunt. Your gasp at the intrusion is loud but you welcome her finger nonetheless.

“You’re so tight.” Rue mumbles against your chest as you whimper and roll your hips. Her fingers move a bit faster, the sound of your wetness beginning to echo within the confines of your room. Your self control was slowly beginning to slip as Rue fucks you nice and hard with her fingers to the point of orgasm.

“What!-.” You exclaim as Rue suddenly withdraw her fingers from your pussy.

“I need to taste you.” She whispers before she brings her drenched fingers to her mouth. Rue sucks on her digits feverishly which turns you even more. She drops her fingers away from her mouth before she quickly shifts so that her face is hovering closer to your pussy. You try and look down at Rue but with her fingers tracing the opening of your pussy, your head falls back and your eyes close shut.

“Rue, I need you. Please.” You beg.

“Don’t worry baby, I got you.” With that, she wraps her lips around your clit which causes a loud moan to ring out from you. Her tongue is warm as she laps at your cunt.

It had been a while for you but the way Rue was making you feel, wreaked your brain but you didn’t focus on it too much as you ride her face with abandon. She’s eating you so good and you were losing your breath trying to keep up with her pace. Rue rolls her tongue around your clit over and over again before pushing her fingers back into your pussy and stroking your g-spot with hoe she curled her digits.

“Oh shit! I’m gonna cum!” Your hips are rolling to the pace of her fingers thrusting in and out of you. You fear suffocating her but your high is creeping near as you focus on your orgasm. A third finger is introduced which causes you to cry out even louder. You’re desperate now and you can’t stop yourself as you use her to reach your climax. The stretch of her fingers deepen your cunt and her tongue on your clit is sending you into overdrive.

Your release slams against you full force and your thighs threaten to close around her head but Rue keeps them from collapsing around her head by pressing one of your thighs down with her arm. She doesn’t pull away from you as she continues to lick you clean.

Your body trembles with aftershocks of pleasure as Rue finally moves away from your pussy and trails her lips back up your body. She captures your mouth and you moan softly tasting yourself on her lips. The kiss moves slow and sweet with your tongues clashing against each other as your core begs for more.

“You got any toys I can use on you in here?” Rue asks you which causes your cheeks to warm in slight embarrassment.

“Yeah.” You admit.

“Bring them out, I’m not done with you just yet.” Rue whispers. “Want to explore every part of you.”

@dhlfastestlap @queenshikongo3 @kindan3rdy951 @ricciardosheart @lewiscrown @sarah-ev @mercedesjpg @playgurlxoxo @scorpiobleue @leilaxaliel @amorestevens @nomnombibblenibble @honey-prinxess @ohkapten @aisharmi @bahatibloom @chaneajoyyy @melodicheauxxo @olyvoyl @paradisehamilton @lewisthot @mimihopie @blowmymbackout @write-fromthe-start

[genuinerio]

CHAPTER I. SAME OLD LOVE, SAME OLD BULLSHIT EXCUSE.

PAIRINGS: Rue Bennett x OC! (romantic), Fezco x OC! (platonic, siblings), Maddy Perez x OC! (platonic, best friends), Cassie Howard x OC! (platonic, best friends), Kat Hernandez x OC! (platonic, best friends)

WORDS: 2,124.

NOTES: I apologize for taking forever to write this fully, I just was thinking of how I would write this but I hope you all enjoy and happy New Year’s Eve! I had decided to change my OC’s name to Jackie and she’s now, Maddy’s sister so I hope that’s alright with everyone. Also, the text in italics is Jackie’s thoughts.

TAGLIST: @shycollectionwolfstuff

AS JACKIE STAYED LAYING IN THE EMPTY BEDROOM THAT BELONGED to her girlfriend, Rue Bennett, hoping that she wasn’t hurt while abusing drugs or worse, dead of a drug overdose. Getting up from the bed, Jackie began to pace back and forth, in constant worry. Eventually, the brown eyed brunette began to pray, she didn’t believe in god but she wanted to have hope that Rue would eventually be alive.

This is it, Jackie. You cannot do this to yourself!

The girl knew that she had to end it then and there, she was not going to keep believing that she could help Rue and that she’ll get her the help her girlfriend needs, that their relationship would be okay again. Throughout every unsuccessful fight, every ultimatum, Jackie knew that it would never work and as her best successful way to avoid fights, Jackie began to distance herself with hanging out with her best friends and sister that were Cassie, Maddy and Kat than preferring to hangout with Rue.

And unfortunately, Rue did at times notice the distance, she could tell that Jackie was pulling apart from her and she feared of losing her, losing Jackie would be Rue’s definite downfall considering how much she loved her and the strong influence she was on her.

The caring brunette was tired of this, the consistent lying, the fighting, screaming matches and having to beg for her to get better which only caused a distance of the two since Jackie wanted to no longer have to watch her girlfriend do that to herself in such a self destructive manner which led to an ultimatum that if she didn’t get her shit together, they were ultimately over.

Everyone including Rue, herself knew how much of a strong influence that Jackie was to her. Despite Jackie’s nature of being a party girl and enjoying to smoke weed at times, she never did that in front of Rue knowing that it would cause her to abuse more drugs but she never did hard drugs.

In spite of the fact that Jackie refused to see Rue for a couple weeks or days especially with her drug addiction being the only barrier standing between them and which caused her to distance herself further. It was the fact of the effects that drugs can really do to change a person, especially in personality.

Rue began to lie and become more secretive, lying to her about her whereabouts, believing her drug abuse wasn’t as big of a problem than it truly was and had no issues with not coming home until the next morning which caused Jackie to be worried sick, despite her not being religious but more spiritual, she would pray that Rue wasn’t found dead somewhere.

Jackie starting to begin to notice the time on her iPhone which was now midnight, she hated the fact that she was finally over this; with thinking and having the decision that this was it, it’s time to end their relationship. For quite awhile now, the girl refused to admit it but truthfully, could feel that their relationship was as if it was hanging on by a thread, she thought that it would be the decision and with good intentions that her deciding to finally put her foot down, a breakup was the best thing to do. Maybe in this way, Rue could finally get herself the help she needed.

With taking into consideration that the relationship was beginning to truly get toxic, the constant fighting and screaming got Jackie to pull away and become distant, avoiding Rue oftentimes to not have a argument and the fact that she felt their relationship was no longer having the love for one another like it once had but instead the two often butting heads and at odds, consistently over Rue’s substance use.

Not realising that she was playing with fingers, a habit that she held since she was a child when in times of nervousness, she hadn’t noticed that the door was finally open.

It’s finally the time, the thought of breaking up with Rue had been floating in her mind for weeks, she didn’t want to have to think of life without Rue in her life. She loved Rue, she’s so in love with her but Jackie was so over the fighting, false hopes and promises.

With tears falling down from her eyes, Jackie confronted her. “Rue, we need to talk.”

“Oh hey, gorgeous.” Rue wrapped her arms around Jackie’s waist in a loving embrace while initiating a lazy kiss, it was clear to her that she was slightly intoxicated.

The two sharing a passionate kiss which Jackie cut off a minute later had caused suspicions to Rue, “Rue, I’m serious. We have to talk.”

“Okay, then, what do we need to talk about?” A huff left Jackie’s lips as she was puzzled on where exactly to start with the conversation, the silence echoing throughout the room was very loud. “I. I don’t know where to start.”

“Just say it, babe.” Rue encouraged as she cuddled her but Jackie moved away sitting on the bed to which Rue followed, “I don’t think it’s working anymore.”

“What? What’s not working?” Rue’s voice broke at the thought of it being their relationship, “Us. Our relationship, it isn’t working.”

“What are you talking about? We’re fine.”

“We had a really explosive fight just last night. It was really bad, Rue and we can’t go on like that anymore.”

Taking Rue’s hands in her own, she confessed, “I think it’s best for us that we end this.”

Tears began to fall down Rue’s cheeks as she pleaded, “Please, don’t do this. Don’t leave me. I need you!”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’ll change, I promise. I’ll get help, I’ll go to more rehab sessions.”

“Rue, don’t say things that aren’t going to be true. You say this and then, you don’t mean it.” Jackie commented as she added, “Then, we’re back where we once started with constant fighting. And I don’t want that for us.”

“This time. I mean it though, I’ll get help.” Rue began but Jackie cut her off before she could go on, “I don’t want you to change for me, Rue. I want you to change for yourself.”

“At least think about it for your mom, for Gia.” Jackie got up with continuing, “Gia adores you, profoundly and she shouldn’t have to see you in such a tragic way.”

“And ultimately, think about it for your future. You deserve the chance of living and growing old just like everyone else and it would be awful for you to suffer such an unfortunate fate because of this drug use.” The girl stuttered as she watched Rue continue to fall apart.

A knock on the door had interrupted their conversation as Gia wanted to let Rue know that they arrived back, “Oh hey Jackie.”

“Hi Gia.” Gia felt that she could sense the intensity regarding tension in the room since it was very heavy, “Sorry, was I interrupting anything?”

“Oh no. Actually, I was just leaving.” Grabbing her purse and iPhone, Jackie wiped the tears out from her eyes while providing a quick glance to Rue who was staring back, “Goodbye Rue.”

With saying her goodbyes, Jackie rushed out of the Bennett household in hopes of hiding her teary eyed face, the girl was someone that didn’t like to show emotions much and rather preferred bottling them up but she couldn’t hide it this time. She shared such strong and intense feelings for Rue and that was very hard.

Jackie couldn’t help the fact that she had bawled her eyes out for over ten minutes while sitting alone in her car at an unknown parking spot. She hadn’t noticed that her phone was ringing off like crazy.

Her sister, Maddy was concerned with worry if she was okay but despite numerous messages and failed unanswered calls, as much as she appreciated her sister and friends’s concern, she rather preferred to be alone for a bit.

The girl began to get lost in her head, overwhelmed with overthinking thoughts regarding if breaking up with Rue was the best decision or not. It was true that she was tired of the fighting and she knew that Rue’s false promises wouldn’t change anything nor lead them anywhere else but she still felt awful about the whole ordeal.

For weeks prior, Jackie had contemplated the idea and had been interested in opinions regarding it with ultimately, seeking for Cassie and Lexi’s mother, Suze’s as well as Maddy and her therapist’s advice.

And like her therapist told her, she could love Rue all she wanted but that doesn’t always mean that Rue would get herself the help she needed so it would be the best choice to see how things play out first.

Stay strong, Jackie. This would be good for you both; hopefully, Rue will realize that she needs to get clean and she will.

After an hour of driving around East Highland engrossed into her mind, she finally arrived at her home with noticing her father sitting on the couch enjoying his beer, her mother and Maddy talking as they noticed her tears.

They could tell that whatever happened, it was clearly deeply painful. “What’s wrong, Jackie? What happened? Did you and Rue get into a fight?”

In noticing this, their mother and Maddy asked a various amount of questions and possibilities considering they deeply cared for her but Jackie didn’t want this whole interrogation, “It’s nothing.”

Turning away, she walked towards her bedroom, “I just want to be alone right now. That’s all.” As much as both were curious what exactly happened especially Maddy because they told each other everything but she understood that whatever happened clearly hurt Jackie and that when the time was right, Jackie would confide in her but not to push it.

Jackie spent hours laying down in her bed alone heartbroken over the breakup, she feared for Rue considering that at times of their many breakups, she’d abuse more drugs to cope.

Eventually, the girl got up and sat next to her desk, pulling out fashion sketches that she had created and drawn out, a hobby she began during the summer. A soft knock was heard considering that her desk was next to her bedroom door, she knew it was Maddy.

“Hey.” The two exchanged hellos, as Maddy sat close by, “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit.” Jackie spoke, Maddy was surprised at her words, “What do you mean?”

“We broke up.” The words caused Maddy to give her sister comfort, “I’m really sorry, Jackie.”

“Well, yeah. I just feel like such a heartless bitch now.” Maddy was heartbroken at the way that Jackie referred to herself, “I mean.” Huffing as she explained in further detail, “What if she overdoses and it’s fatal? I’ll never be able to forgive myself for that.”

“Because, I know that I caused that. And it’s a definite possibility, it could happen.”

“Don’t say that, Jackie. It would not be your fault nor anyone believe it is either.” The two embraced in a very sisterly comforting hug.

“Hey, you know what? Why don’t you come with us to the party tonight. It’ll be fun and take your mind off of things?” Maddy mentioned, Jackie was known for being a party girl but understandably, she wasn’t up for it tonight, “No thanks, I think I just want to be alone.”

Maddy left as she respected Jackie’s wish of wanting to be alone. Within hours however, word has spread across East Highland at the news that Jackie and Rue had broken up, peers were curious if this was finally it or just a break like normal times. In fact, her friends, Cassie, Kat and Lexi were leaving calls and messages asking if she was okay and that they were there for her at times of need.

Glancing through her window, the sun went down as it became dark in the night sky. The girl had been working on fashion designs for hours by this moment and as she was about to clean up, Jackie received a call. Her eyes widened when noticing the caller ID, Rue.

As much as she wanted to pick up the phone and answer the call as well as make up with her, she knew deep down that it wasn’t the right decision. However, she also knew that Rue was most likely in a deep crisis since even at times where they were fighting or “on the outs” of their relationship, Rue would call her to confide in when in need of comfort. But this time, Jackie put her ringer on and ignored the calls despite how badly it pained her.

[bouncybongfairy]

Shits and Giggles

Rue Bennett x Fem Reader

Summary: You become Rue's rebound from Jules; you are aware from the beginning that this wasn't a serious relationship. However, what happened in your bed with her seemed pretty momentous.

Word Count: 2k+

Trigger Warning: Smut and Drugs

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Ever since you first saw Rue, you knew you were going to get close with her. She was a beautiful mentally ill druggie and what could you say, that was your type. You guys really gravitated to each other because of your issues. It's easy to be with someone who is struggling the same as you because you don't have to explain things that are unhealthy yet normal. It was nice not having someone judge you for your depression room or wanting to rot in bed. Not to mention drinking or getting high with someone who wasn't doing it to post online. It's not like you didn't know that this was toxic, you just didn't care. Both of you had people in your life that lectured you daily. People who were always gazing at you with disappointed eyes. You were each other's escape from that, and that meant a lot to the both of you. 

You met her when you were skipping class in the bathroom smoking. She asked you for a couple of puffs off the blunt, which you gave her. You complained about how teachers would seem to pick on the kids whom they knew didn't pay attention. You asked if she wanted to ditch with you and she was more than happy to do so. You walked the 30 minutes to your house, Rue asked you if your parents would be home and this is when you told her your mom had died. She didn't say much about her dad dying but she did let you know. There was no need to explain because you both knew what it was like. Like a mutual agreement not to acknowledge each other's suffering. It was the first time you'd ever snorted a pill. You were nervous, like super scared but she talked you through everything which made you feel comforted. You turned on Jersey Shore and laid in bed together, just zoning out. You had a swamp cooler that directly faced your bed, which made the room ice cold. This brought you two closer underneath the blankets. 

After taking a nap, Rue FaceTimed her mom to show she was at a friend's house. You sat at your desk with your laptop and pretended to be working on homework. This made you both burst into laughter once she hung up. Your dad came home from his 16 hour shift and greeted you before going to bed. You shared the burger king that he brought home for dinner. When Rue lit the blunt in the middle of eating, you knew she was going to be a bad habit. The one time you did that in front of someone they called you disgusting for doing so. When she did this so nonchalantly, it really left an impression on you. 

"I think we're going to be great together," you said, stuffing your face with the golden fries.

"Are you sure about that?" she asked to take a drag before taking a bite of her burger. 

"If you let us be then yeah," you said, taking the blunt from her. 

Ever since then, you two were pretty much inseparable. It was definitely weird at times; once, you were walking down the hall hand in hand with Rue and passed Jules. It made you feel bad, especially because you knew that they were together when she was sober. It made you feel inferrer a bit, like Jules got the real Rue. You never brought this up to her, because you didn't want to scare her off. You also were doing drugs with her so it felt a bit hypocritical to say anything about that. 

You were sitting in the cafeteria with Rue, picking at your lunches. You were trying to finish a math assignment that was due next period. Rue was drawing things like bongs and weed flowers, knowing it would distract you because it had to be raised. She kept laughing when you would playfully scold her for doing so. 

"It's just a piece of paper," she would taunt you.

"iT's jUsT a PiEcE oF PaPer," you would mimic. 

She laughed and continued until you finished the last equation and raised the last doodle. You kissed her on the cheek and she hung her head down giggling to herself. You practically huffed half a cart down in the bathroom before entering the cafeteria. She pulled your chair closer and nudged you with her shoulder. The bell rang shortly after, you got up and threw both of your trays away and started walking towards your class. Rue pulled you by the arm into the bathroom, the one with the scratched mirror behind the E-building. None of the girls used it to actually go to the restroom because they couldn't examine themselves obsessively in the mirror. She helped you sit on the edge of the sink, resting each hand on either side of you. 

"And where did you think you were going?" she asked.

"5th period," you responded rhetorically. 

"Why don't we go to your place and uh, have some fun? she stated more than asked. 

"You won't get in trouble?" you asked.

"I'll think of an excuse letter," she said, giving you a kiss before helping you down. 

You guys took the bus back to your place, neither of you wanted to walk the distance. Once you were home you went back to your bedroom and cranked the AC on. Rue complained about the icebox of a room you have which made you laugh; there was no way you were turning it off. You went to your closet and pulled out your half drank bottle of Kirkland vodka. You went into the kitchen and grabbed a tall glass and filled it with ice before heading back into the room. You pour a good amount of alcohol into it, letting it chill for a minute. 

"You're so high maintenance, why don't you drink it out of the bottle?" she asked. 

"Well sorry if I don't want my entire chest and throat burning after the first shot," you said, walking over to her and kissing her forehead. When you walked back to strain the liquor into the shot glasses, she followed. 

"Seriously this seems excessive," she said, wrapping her arms around your waist from behind. 

"Quit your bitchin' and take this with me," you said, turning around and handing her the tiny glass. You quickly cheer and both tip your head back. 

You pull away from her and go digging in your backpack, grinning from ear to ear once you feel the plastic baggie. When you pull it out, you show Rue she matches your grin. It was two tabs of acid that had a faint picture of the Rick and Morty logo, barely visible due to the discolorations. It didn't take long to kick in, well it did but due to the second and third shot it didn't feel that long. You were both giggling and dancing with each other around your room. Knocking each other over every once in a while, landing on the bed. You would quickly recover once a song motivated you both enough to start dancing again. You were feeling light, like your head could lift you off the ground. Rue kept running her hands through your hair which would make you shiver. Rue kept wanting to do a line but you eventually found another way to distract her. 

The last time you fell on the bed you ended up face to face, rubbing each other's foreheads together. She kept running her hands down your arm and the exposed skin on your side. She kept mumbling about how soft you were. Hearing this come for her was making your stomach flip. Somewhere between cuddling and rubbing against one another you start to make out. She was laying on her back and you were straddling her. You were holding her head in your hands as you kissed. She quickly sits up which catches you off guard. You pull your tee-shirt off and get slightly embarrassed when you are reminded of the fact that you didn't have a bra on. She stared at your chest for a while before taking your nipple into her mouth. You let out a moan and let her pull you as she let her back fall against your mattress. You pull away and tug at her sweat pants, she takes the hint and helps you take them off. You smirk and take your shorts off, you start grinding against her. You hover back over her and start to give her a hickey on her neck. She starts playing with your chest as you do this. This made it harder to kiss her neck because you were moaning so much. 

"Fuck you look like a pornstar," Rue said flipping you over and shoving her hand into your panties. 

She started playing with your clit, using her middle finger. You bury your face into her neck and let out a couple moans. If she already thought you looked like a pornstar so you might as well sound the part. You were completely soaked, this was the first time you'd ever done anything like this with rue. The sexual tension between you had been building for so long, that even hearing her voice sometimes made you melt. It was nice to have a sexual experience with someone and not worry about how you looked or came across as. She continued to stroke you, arched you back and buckled your hip up every once in a while. You tried kissing her but you were in such a state of pleasure that your lips were just pressed together slightly. It was like she was trying to eat your moans. You pull away from her right before your climax. 

 "Do.. you wanna, uh.. 69?" you asked, trying to catch your breath.

"Yeah but only if you're on top of me," she said. 

"You're sinister for that," you said, getting on top. 

"And much more," she said, smacking you with what felt like all the strength she had. 

When you started eating her out, you were pleased to feel that she was just as wet as you. You were kind of worried that she might not be as into you as you are her but that thought quickly left. You start flicking your tongue slowly, slowly increasing your pace as she did the same. She penetrated you with her fingers which made you gasp and press yourself onto her face. When you did this, she smacked your ass with both hands causing you to squeal. You tried to keep your rhythm but you were finding this hard because of how close you were getting. You were full on riding her face and fingers at this point. You could tell that Rue was getting close because he rhythm was becoming spotty. As you started to cum, you could feel her clit harden slightly. This was just enough encouragement to keep going instead of sitting up and going full cowgirl on her face. You both rode out your orgasm before you fell back next to her on the bed. 

You grabbed your tee-shirt and wiped her face off before doing the same to yourself. You both looked over at each other and couldn't help but burst out laughing. Not because it was awkward, more likely from the drugs that were still in your system. You both change into different clothes before cuddling back in bed. Rue had fallen asleep for a while while you played with her hair. You noticed some of her curls sticking to her neck because she was so sweaty. You grabbed a hair tie and pulled all her hair into a bun. Every once in a while you would plant a kiss on her forehead or nose. She was holding onto by the waist, you woke her up to ask if her arm was losing circulation from being underneath you. 

"Don't wake me up to ask stupid shit like that again," she grumbled. Right as she finished the sentence, there was a hard knock at the door which made both of you jump. 

"Dinner's on the counter!" your dad shouted through the door, when you both looked over and saw the panicked expression on each other's faces you both started laughing.

[kaicubus]

Robbers | Rue Bennett

warnings ✩° : angst. literally so much angst, numbness, crying, saying things you don't mean, break up?, drug mentions, toxic relationship, no happy ending...unless?

pairing ✩° : rue bennett x fem!reader

premise ✩° : dating someone who doesn't want to be fixed is difficult on its own, so when you're faced with the opportunity to leave for your own good, you can’t decide.

word count ✩° : 3.7k

authors note ✩° : i actually...did not want to write this LOL bc it hurts me so much.  i’m getting back into the swing of things so forgive me if it’s a little rough. also i’m writing this as i’m listening to the song and crying so a bit of yummy raw feelings here!!

now playing : Robbers by the 1975

Rue had a face straight out a magazine. Hell, she could even be a model if she wanted to.That’s one thing you knew all too well about your girlfriend, she was perfect. In the past, you remember how you would tie back her curly hair and style it in high ponytails and buns, loving the feeling of those stringy locks pressing into your skin and wrapping around your fingers. Though the memory is well faded way now, there was not much of that Rue left at all. On the surface, Rue looked as if she were on the verge of death either from exhaustion or overdose, and past the surface it wasn't much different.  You had done everything in your power to keep your girlfriend afloat, holding her hand through life no matter how much she used you or wrung you out.

Everybody around you saw how much being in a relationship with someone who shouldn't even be in one was severely taking a toll on you, but you stood by Rue and defended her. For the longest time you've been irrevocably in love with her, but your rose colored glasses would soon come off mistake after mistake after each time Rue would find a way to neglect you and refuse your help. It was hard to swallow the fact all your calls were either declined or ignored, and that all your texts were left on delivered or opened, but you told yourself all you had to do was be patient. After all, throughout your relationship with Rue, that’s all it was : being patient. There was no winning with her, and it took you 5 years for it to click in your mind.

Well now that you've got your gun It's much harder now the police have come.

The silence is deafening. This whole time, you've been at war inside your head, one side screaming at you to leave Rue and the other trying to beg and convince yourself to stay. You didn't admit it, but you were losing the battle with your own self. Rue hadn't even noticed you zone out and had instead been dragging long, listless breaths from a joint Fezco had gave her to ‘help with her withdrawal’ which was bullshit at its finest. You knew it was just an act to think you had Rue under your radar when really she was way out of the boundaries. It infuriated you how your own girlfriend played you like a fool; it was insulting in every possible way you'd look at it. She treated you like you were stupid and oblivious to drug use and anything of the sort, however thanks to her and Fez you know everything about it.

Rue flicks her lighter open and the warm light floods the midnight air and heats up the cold air around you both. You check your phone, 12:09 pm, it’s late and you're slowly getting tired but you still have something to say before the feeling of emptiness growing larger and larger swallows you whole. You just don't know how to bring it up. Even thinking about it was similar to that of slowly prying each and every single one of your fingernails off, you didn't even want to think of it. Thing is, right now, Rue looks so peaceful. Maybe its because all of her attention is glued onto the tight joint, rolled between her fingers and getting a clean breath of smoke in. She looked perfect.

That’s when you decide to break the silence, as comforting as it was, the feeling of descending dread resting on your shoulders is too much to handle and you just have to get it off your chest.

“Rue...”  your voice catches her attention and she gives you a quick side glance as an answer. Disappointment curls your lip and you realize this conversation might not go the way you want, but then again, what option do you have? This was far more than a normal conversation and far more than you ever had to deal with.

Despite her lack of answer, you continue, “Can we talk?” Its cliche but there's no better way to bring it up.

She mumbles in response. You can tell she doesn't have a care in the world to listen to you talk, that's one of the many reasons why you feel not seen or heard.

“Please, Rue. Its important.”

She parts her lips carelessly, “Fuck, Y/n I’m listening, ok? Go on.”

You back into a defensive posture and roll your shoulders back just enough for her to see your eyes, to even get a glimpse of your guilt or your hurt. But her lax tells you all you need to know. She wasn't going to care, just like everything, she didn't care about you at all. Just like that time where you had gotten an A on a test you really studied your ass of for and she didn't show any trace of enthusiasm, or the time you got your drivers license and she barley bat an eye, or the time she ignored you all night just to pay attention to anime Ramona Flowers Jules. You couldn't even remember the last time she was genuinely happy for you or interested in what you had to say.

But if you just take off your mask, You'd find out everything's gone wrong.

“I want to break up.”

...

“What?” she asks, hardly taking you seriously, “Break up?”

Instead of dismissing her like you usually would do, you nod, “Yeah.” You cant even bring yourself to look at her. This is new territory for both of you, so each approach couldn’t be guaranteed a positive or negative reaction; like a leap of faith, you just had to seize the chance.

Your eyes flicker into hers and almost immediately your heart sinks deep past the rest of your organs harbored in your chest. Almost as if she had looked at you in slow motion, time had thickened and the look in her eyes lingered deep inside your soul with her down turned brows speaking volumes.

“What?” her voice hushes into the night sky and suddenly you see your eyes glisten in the reflection of her wide eyes.

“I…” you try and speak but your throat closes up, “I…We…Rue…”

The light of her joint dims and lights up again, casting a warm shadow on Rue’s cold finger tips.

“Have you noticed, we don’t fit like we used to?” You ask.

Rue brings her knees close to her chin and kisses the raggedy denim of her jeans, “How far back are you saying?”

“The very start.”

“Well, the very start was a while ago, I don’t even remember that far.” She pushes her lips out in thought and does everything in her power to avoid your burning gaze. All she can think about is just how fucked she knows this conversation will end up. There’s no way out.

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you about this for a while. I don’t think there’s any good way to say it.” You let out a sigh and roll your head up to the starlit sky, “I want to break up with you.”

She stays silent and allows you to speak your mind, though you’d hope she’d interrupt and fight for her place as your girlfriend.

“These past few months have been really hard, and I don’t know what’s going on. You’re not talking to me and you’re not even answering my calls. I feel like a ghost, Rue. It’s like you don’t even care about me ever since Jules.”

That name alone made Rue shudder in disgust.

“I really wanted this to work. It’s been working so far. But, I cant even force myself to believe it’s working anymore. I feel like my whole life, I’ve been forced to look after you—like it was my identity.” you fidget your thumbs in circles, still hoping she’d interject to cut you off or something, “You’ve lied to me more times that I know, screamed bloody murder at me when I told you not to shove bottles of pills down your throat, you’ve even attempted to steal my own medication I need to get through my panic attacks to get high. But it didn’t matter because I loved you.” your eyes meet hers, “D-Did you even love me?”

She picks her head up from hiding in the safety of her kneecaps and looks at you, how your eyes are now well damp with tears sloshing over your waterline and how your lips are quivering in heartache.

“There wasn’t a moment in my life where I ever thought about not loving you, Y/n.”

“How?” you choke, “How can you say that and show me nothing to back yourself up with? What have you done for me besides make me hate myself? I thought I could help you get through your addiction but no matter what I tried, you pushed me away. Was I even good enough to be an outlet for you?”

Her legs fall back down to their original position and she uses her palms to push herself closer to you. Rue isn’t good at comforting people, she barley even knew how to comfort herself, but through the countless times you’ve done it, she wraps her arms around your shoulders and instinctively pulls you into a deep embrace.

Tears finally escape their confinement as the sudden force pushes you back just enough for them to spill out of your eyes. Just as suddenly, you find yourself crying; Sobbing, even. She doesn’t kiss you, though she wishes she could, maybe it would’ve soothed you, but hugging you is all she thinks to do.

Your choice was inevitable, the end of your relationship was bound to happen, but neither of you expected it to end the way that it does. Still. She hoped you’d give her one more time. Just one more fight.

“Why?” you mumble against her shoulder, “Why are you doing this? Why now?” grief clogs your throat and drowns your words in overwhelming dejection.

“I don’t know.” She says truthfully, “I don’t feel good about this either. I just, wanted you to stop crying.”

You sniffle and pull away, wiping your eyes, “Right. I’ve-Ive tried helping you Rue, you can’t say I haven’t.” silent tears glide down your cheeks.

“No, Y/n. You were always there, always.”

God only knows but you'll never leave her.

In an attempt to gather yourself, you rub the thin, red fabric of your sleeve across your eyes — smearing your cheap mascara you had put on haphazardly before you even came here with Rue. Clumps of black product feathers across your lashes and runs down your cheek that you hastily smear clean-ish.

“You’ve done more than anyone has.” she wipes her tears numbly, “I-I can’t even be mad at you right now because I seriously deserve this. I deserve to be punished after all the shit I put you through—I knew what I was doing and I knew you’d forgive me. But it all piled up and now, now its like--Fuck!” she sobs, “I’m sorry I’m crying, I can’t control it right now and if I could I wouldn't be because I want to have a normal conversation with you like a person but I —” she manages to choke on her own tears.

Your heart squeezes for her. All this time, Rue would only ever show her emotions to her bedroom ceiling; it was rare for you or even her sister Gia to see her most vulnerable side. But right in this very moment, seeing her shed her hard rock exterior, it baffles you that she could even be capable of such emotion. Whenever she was confronted about her behavior in her life, she reacted violently with rapid pacing and shoving, hitting and screaming. Maybe it was because of the weed, but when she looks at you with such soft eyes it reminds you of the Rue you've always known — the Rue who would never hurt you.

Anybody in a situation like yours would’ve given up, and one thing about that is true. For as long as you had struggled keeping your head afloat in the raging sea of Rue Bennett, your time had come and it was finally time to stop kicking and sink. As much as you didn’t want to, you couldn’t deny the weight of it all on your shoulders.

Her fingertips find her eye sockets and press into them as if she’s trying to dig out her tear ducts to stop them from crying and blurring her vision. “I’m sorry. ‘M sorry I’m such a bad girlfriend. I’ll try harder next time please — please let there be a next time, Y/n. I cant have this be like Jules.”

“This isn’t like Jules. Rue, what we have is NOT like what you had with her. Ok?” you gently rub her tears away and guide her hands into yours, “I love you, so fucking much. And you know how much it hurts me to see you so hurt over this…which is why I think we need this. You need this. I need this.”

Rue bites her lip and shakes her head, “No, please please please,” she sniffles, “Please, Y/n don’t leave me. I need you.”

You turn your head to the side, causing your tears to gloop to one side and slosh out, “I know you, Rue. You’re going to be fine.”

“Stay…” she says, finally able to slow down and catch her breath, “Stay, stay...”

“Rue…” you look down, “Can you promise me something?”

Rue’s tongue darts out to wet her lips and catch her tears free falling onto her cupid’s bow, “Y-Yeah?”

You stare directly at her and soften your eyes—as if they weren’t soft enough—and gently cup her cheek in the palm of your hand. The sensation was too familiar for Rue to ignore and suddenly she’s flashed back to the first time something like this happened. Back when everything was still new to the both of you. She had just finished screaming at you, and you had remained patient despite such horrible things being said, but you understood her feelings. She was like an open book to you back then. Rue had cried her eyes out and screamed her throat dry and once she was somewhat calm, you inched towards her slowly and held her face in your hands. Placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, you held her in your arms for what felt like hours and stayed still as still water after a storm. You were a tower of stability and light in the epicenter of the crashing waves of her ocean.

Now, as the tides pull in and push out, you’re faded and eroded by the salt water, but still holding on.

“Promise me you’ll keep on living.”

You give her a half crescent smile before sliding your hand off her face to the back of her head and hugging her face into your chest. Rue accepts the change and closes her eyes for a split moment.

You throat moves against her forehead as you attempt to swallow all the bubbling feelings in your chest. All you can think about is how you don’t want to leave, but you know this isn’t healthy for you or for her. The last thing you wanted to do in your relationship was be the bigger person and break up with her, but the circumstances were too much to shove aside. Not only were all your close friends telling you to break up with Rue, but you knew deep down that if she wasn’t able to change for not you but her, you couldn’t continue. There was only so much you could do, and you already drained yourself dry.

Rue hugs her arms around your waist slowly and rests her head against your stomach. She doesn’t know the next time she’ll be allowed to touch you like this again, so close and so tender. So she savors every bit of it. She revels in the silence and swims in the sounds of your heartbeat, embracing the softness of your clothes and silkiness of your skin. Rue found home whenever she hugged you. The nostalgic, sweet smell of your natural scent always soothed her no matter what but now that she knew you were going to leave her, it smelled so faint. Where did it go wrong? She couldn’t even remember a specific breaking point for you, and that’s exactly why, she realized. She’s always going to love you, she’s always going to wait. She just didn’t know if you were going to do the same thing. Even if you guys were miles apart, or right next to each other, the distance that was always between you will remain the same.

That’s when you comb your fingers through her frayed and knotted hair, brushing through the stiff parts. Something about the way you gently untangle her messy hair strikes her completely vulnerable and her shoulders fall to signal it. 

You pull away quickly, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to —” you hesitate, “I mean...I...”

"I don’t know how I’m supposed to live without you,” she presses her damp lips against your arm, “I can’t think of something like that. I want to promise you that I’ll do it.”

“Hey,” you hold her face, “Hey, look at me.” the softness in your voice only makes her cry harder, “You don’t have to, not now.” Her eyes dart into yours, searching for something to get her to stop crying but she can’t. Her sobs fill the air and with each struggling breath they get louder and louder; not even when you attempt to cushion her cries with your chest does she let up.

You press your lips together and blow, hushing her and cradling her tightly in your arms.

“I just want everything to be ok. Tell me, Y/n. T-Tell me everything's going to fine.” She sobs, “Tell me you're staying, tell me you love me still, you can play with my hair again like we used to — you can even tie it up in pigtails this time and put those stupid butterfly clips in it like you always wanted.”

You shake your head softly. 

“Y/n please — tell me we’re going to be fine!”

“Rue...”

“I know I screwed up, I know that. I always screw up. But not with you.”

You pull away and take the time to wipe her tears away, clearing her red and puffy eyes of the overflowing amount of wetness clinging onto her pretty, now kind of dirty face. Her cheek hugs your palm and she closes her eyes, releasing more droplets of saltwater.

“Y/n...” She mumbles, “Fuck...I’m sorry. ‘M so sorry...”

She runs her hands through your hair and scrapes her fingertips into your scalp, pulling your body closer to hers and pressing her forehead up to your own. All you can do is bite your lip to prevent any more necessary cries from escaping your throat. You can feel the way her thumbs stroke your neck and the raggedy pattern of her breathing declines into a steady pace as it fans across your skin.

Each little touch made her head reel back and forth, and a part of her hated you for it. She hated how much she felt around you and how much she was able to feel like her actions as well as her words meant something; it meant that everything she had been working towards numbing her pain was all for nothing. She didn't enjoy it one bit. Especially now that you were choosing to leave her? How could she ever cope and recover? There’s no way.

Or maybe there was?

With her eyes quickly flickering into yours, you're almost shocked at the sudden tense and direct eye contact. Even though Rue had been avoiding your stare in fear she’d break more than she already is, it seemed like now she was peering directly into your soul and trying to reach within the depths of Y/n.

Rue knew what she had to do. So she spoke,

“What if I went back?”

You blink, “Back? Back where?” Even though the answer seemed obvious, you didn't even for once think shed ever reconsider going back,

“To rehab. Therapy. Everything. For you.”

“For me? W-Why for me? Rue if you're going back to rehab it NEEDS to be for you —”

Rue brushes a section of her hair back and rubs her palms against her face, wiping her face fully dry now, “I like who I am with you, Y/n. You're probably the only person in this world who makes me feel like I have a chance no matter how hard or how much I screw up,” her voice closes in once she realizes how serious she needs to be, “So I’m going to take a chance that will grant me more chances.”

“Rue,” you say, not even sure what’s going to happen next. Luckily, she cuts you off before you could even get the chance to speak again.

“I know this is going to take time, I know we weren't perfect. I know that. But, when I get out of rehab again things will be.”

You feel your heart race in thick surges of hope. Maybe you didn't know things were going to ever change from how they were before. Maybe you weren't sure if anything would come of her words that could very much be empty promises in the moment. Maybe your trust had been severely damaged by all the lies and deceptions over the years. But that all didn't matter right now. Because right now, there was hope for something you've longed to see for all your life : A Rue who’s happy. 

Could this give her happiness? Knowing that you'll be there waiting for her with the same warm arms you've always given her? Would that even be enough for her? Your thoughts ran rampant as you stare into her cavernous yet gleaming eyes. 

“Promise.” Rue swallows, holding up her pinkie finger.

Without thinking, you hold up your pinkie as well.

“I promise,” she sniffles between her words, “I promise you, I’m going to get better for you and keep on living.”

[theemptyartdeco]

Twin Tides (teaser)

💌 Nate Jacobs

Summary:

Kaitlyn Arundel, a former prep school princess from New York City , was a pawn in her parents' war of a divorce with fire in her was concealed by a facade of naivety and perfection.

Nate Jacobs is the king of the monsters that once haunted him, a master of control born from nightmares.

When their worlds collide, lines blur and reflections emerge, hinting that perhaps, they're not as different as they seem.

Comment if you wish to be added to the tag list❤️

Playlist

Chapter 1 Carnival | Nate POV

Chapter 2 Calmness amidst the Storm | Kaitlyn POV

[clo-thespin]

MASTERPOST TIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

HIIIIIIIIIIII <3

my name is clovia, i respond to that, or clo, or vee, or cloves, or clover/clovers lmao, i have a lotta nicknames <333

i use they/them pronouns, i am biromantic and asexual, and i am 15!

i have diagnosed adhd and bipolar, and i am self diagnosed autistic (which IS valid.)

currently, i am super into: marvel (specifically: spider-man and iron man), the x files, and euphoria

i write fanfic on ao3, here is my profile and my works

here are some of my favourite characters!!: peter parker, tony stark, pepper potts, stephen strange, bucky barnes, yelena belova, dana scully, fox mulder, rue bennett, jules vaughn, anddd steve harrington

besties for the resties:

@neptuneballs - literally the best gf anyone could ask for, love you tunes!!!

@jaytheaceenby - literal platonic partner (might be one sided but eh) i love them so much and i live for them

@a-huge-bi-nerd - this my best friend they a real bad bitch >:)

@m00nagedreamin - dont even know that much abt him fr but he's pretty cool, he listened to my playlists and we've got some common interests, so WE'RE VIBIN'

@pixyletime - met on insta and now we're like besties!! :)

and i have more moots but i literally dont know which bitch is which so i cant like- give them a spot. sorry y'all.

i am an atheist, pls don't talk to me abt converting to any religion, i get enough of that from my mother and the fact that i go to a catholic school doesnt help at all ;-;

and please im begging you, interact with me. send me asks, tag me in shit, reblog my posts with quirky comments I THRIVE ON THEM!!

also @thatspiderguyfromyt is my cute little peter parker rp blog, so, don't hesitate to check that out <333

~

this blog is a safe space, but not for the following:

terfs, homophobes, transphobes, racists, antisemitists, nazis, KKK members, ableists, pedos, bots, or any other type of poo-head.

fight me i DARE you i could literally dismantle an entire empire whilst in a manic episode and im not afraid to shut some stank-ass bitches down for talkin' schmack :D

tw, i do occasionally make vent posts which can include topics like drug addiction, cravings, dissociation, derealisation, depersonalisation, bipolar, mania, and depression

[iwritebadsmutt]

Hot new substitute ~ Nate x Fem Reader ~SMUT

Summary: Y/n's English teacher has been out for a couple of days and there is a new hot substitute and things get heated up when y/n stays back after class.

Word count: 2087

Y/F/F = your favorite food Y/C/C = your celebrity crush

WARNINGS: TEACHERS HAVE SEX WITH STUDENTS, BEING CALLED SLUT and other names, CALLING NATE SIR, DADDY, BODY SHAMING YOURSELF, BEING INSECURE, BAD WORDS, ORAL SEX, and getting Spanked. (tell me if I missed something)

A/N: you're in college bc that's fucking nasty if a teacher puts their hands on an underage student but if you are 18+ plus it doesn't matter bc you're an adult and you can do whatever the fuck you want. :)

"Did you hear that Mr. G is out?" I hear my friend Julia say as we walk to lunch. "No why would I care?" I say to Julia as we enter the cafeteria. "Because there is a hot substitute," she said excitedly. I looked at her weirdly. "What the fuck is wrong with you that's a teacher and how do you know he's hot," I say to Julia as I walk into the line to get food.

"Because Aria went into his class earlier and said that he was fucking hot like y/c/c" I roll my eyes at her as I get y/f/f. "First there is no way someone can be hot as y/c/c and Aria has bad taste in men and the most obvious HE'S A TEACHER!" I say as I pass my card.

We walked out of the cafeteria and went outside because it's a nice day outside, after a couple of minutes of eating I needed to use the restroom. "be right back," I say as I stand up from my seat. "Where are you going?" I sighed and said, "I need to use the bathroom." I said as I walked away as I put on my AirPods, and played haunted by Laura Les.

As I'm walking, a really tall and muscular guy with dark brown hair and eyes in a suit bumps into me, making my AirPods fall out of my ears. I'm not going to lie, he was pretty fucking hot. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to bump into you. I'm in rush and I'm new here and I got lost this place is so huge." The tall man said in a deep raspy voice, but it wasn't scary. It was actually quite calming in a way.

"It's okay," I said as he picked up my AirPod that fell onto the ground. He smiled at me as he handed me my AirPod. My stomach started to get butterflies at the feel of his hand. What the fuck Y/N? You don't even know his name, what the fuck are you thinking? Both I and the guy I just met were spaced out in each other's eyes. I mean, who wouldn't? His eyes are beautiful and he is fucking hot.

The moment we were having was quickly interrupted by the sound of someone walking by. "Well I have to go but it was nice meeting you." He said as he walked away, "You t—" I didn't even finish my sentence because of how fast he walked away. Is there something wrong with me? Am I ugly? I quickly walked to the restroom, which was a 2-minute walk from where I was.

I looked at myself in the mirror. Once I got in, checked my body "Am I fat?" I said to myself. I sighed as a tear ran down my right eye. What the fuck? I'm crying over a man I don't even know. I fixed myself and fixed my makeup and then I went to the toilet.

I walked back to the table where Julia was "Why did you take so long? We got to go now. I was about to leave to be honest." I rolled my eyes at her, "I know you would never leave me." I laughed as we walked off.

"We have our next class together and mister hot new substitute is going to be teaching." she smiled at me, "why are you smiling, you creep. it's probably an old man I hope his an old man if it is, I'm going to laugh in your face," I said as we were almost to our next class. "And if he is hot you owe me 20 bucks" 20 bucks, you know what I know I'm right, "alright bet 20."

"Okay moment of truth," she sighed. "Girl calm down the guy has been in your mind all fucking day it's not that serious," I said, pushing her out of the way so I could open the door. My mouth dropped as I saw who was the substitute.

"I told you he was hot you owe me 20," Julia whispered in my ear as she said that the door behind us closed loudly, making the man from earlier look at Julia and me.

The man from earlier looked at us. He had a blank expression on his face as he saw me and Julia. "Um ladies, take a seat." I kept my head down as I walked away from him, but of course, there were no more seats available at the top of the room so I had to sit in the second row. it's not the first row, so I'm good.

"Hello, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Mr. Jacobs I'm going to be your sub for a couple of days so I hope you get comfortable with me," he said as he started to teach. I pulled out my laptop and took notes on what he was saying. During the lesson, he was giving me looks, but I tried to look at my laptop, but man, he was so fine. My stomach was having an explosion of butterflies. it made me feel like I was going to throw up.

It's been 45 mins since class started and Mr. Jacobs said "It's time to go have a great day." as he said that everyone got up from their seats. Mr. Jacobs came up to me " Um go without me I don't have any classes after this," I said to Julia as she was about to leave. "Okay bye Y/N." I sighed and lightly said "bye." back to her.

"Oh hey Y/N is it okay if you can stay." Mr. Jacobs said as I was going to get up to leave. "Um sure," I said as I walked over to him. He brought me to the front of the room and pulled out a chair for me in front of his desk that was in the corner of the room. I sat down on the chair, he pulled out for me, and he sat on top of the desk, making him be right in front of me.

"Listen about earli-" I was cut off by him putting his finger on my lip. "Look I get it we both like each other love is love we can't do anything about so let's make the most of it while I am here," he said as he put his hand on my thigh. His hand slowly went higher as the room stayed quiet. "This isn't right you're my teacher," I said, but still letting him go higher up my thigh. He was getting close to my area. "That's where you're wrong because I'm your sub," he said with a cocky smirk. I rolled my eyes at him.

He took his hand off my thigh and pulled me into a soft kiss." You want this?" he said as he lifted me up from the chair and sat me on top of the desk. "Yup I'm sure," I said as he pulled me into another kiss. He started to take my top off but was still trying not to end the kiss, but it obviously ended as he pulled my top off of me leaving me with only my bra on.

I started to quickly unbutton his suit, letting me see his beautiful abs. Once I finished I put my hand on his stomach and pushed him down, making him lay down on his back on the desk."What are you doing?" I wink at him and say "you'll see".

I placed my tongue on the bottom of his stomach. I started slowly starting to go up as I went higher. I felt the outlines of his abs while keeping eye contact with him. I watched as he made the eye contact go as he rolled his head back. Once I got to his neck, I started to suck on it, making a slight moan escape from his mouth.

I went a bit higher, making it to his lips and kissing them as we are kissing, he flips us over making him on top of me so now my back is on the desk. He pulled away from the kiss and said "take your pants off sweetheart." He had a cocky ass smirk on his face and I did as he said.

I sat back down on the desk as he pulled me to the edge of the desk. He went on his knees and grabbed my leg and kissed it all the way up to my pussy. I could feel his breath on my entrance, making me shiver.

He looked at me, giving me a single glance that I knew that he was about to do something. He licked his lips as he placed his tongue on my labia, now making me have to take deep breaths because of how sensitive I am to his tongue.

After a while of him playing with my labia, he started to move his tongue to the opening of my vagina, making me moan kind of loud but not too loud. He placed his finger on top of my clit and started to rub it, making me have to cover my mouth with my hand and bit down because of how loud I almost moaned.

After a little while, my legs started to shake and I started to breathe a lot harder. He took his tongue out of me, making me want his touch a lot more. He picked me up from the desk, making me stand. He turned me around, then bent me down so my stomach was on the desk. I heard his belt being taken off, then I heard him slap the belt on his, hand. I felt him hover behind me, then I felt his breath on my neck. "You're such a little slut, but your my little slut" He whispered in my ear. A shiver went down my back as I heard those words come out of his mouth.

He slaps me with his dick. He slides his cock up and down in between my ass cheeks, making me wetter by the second. Not even letting me know he sides inside of me hard, not letting me adjust to his size, so a scream came out of me.

He slapped me with his hand "Don't scream slut or you are going to be punished". He said as he pulled my hair back so I was looking directly at him. I nodded my head in agreement. He slowly thrusts into me with every thrust, picking up his paste, but as well hitting my G-spot every time" As he started to go faster, little whimpers escaped from my mouth.

He was starting to thrust really fast, turning small whimpers into loud ones. which also made him tug on my hair, and with his free hand, he slapped my right ass cheek. "Fuck Mr. Jacobs" Once I said that he gave me the hardest tug and slap, yet it made me shed a tear.

" Don't call me that" giving a harder and faster thrust. "S-Sorry Da-Da-Daddy" Another hard slap. it burned as he took his and out, making me scream again as he slapped me again for screaming at this point I was crying a lot.

" Sorry sir" I nearly got out because of him thrusting really fast and me crying. Shortly after "Fuck I'm about to cum" good thing, he said that because I was about to cum and my legs are shaking uncontrollably. "Me too" he pulled out and came almost immediately on my ass and shortly after I did too.

THE END!!!!

A/N: HOPE YOU ENJOYED IK THIS IS ASS BUT IDK WHAT TO WRITE PLZ FEEL FREE TO LEAVE A REQUEST AND TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT MY WRITING YOU CAN BE MEAN IDC ANYWAYS I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY/MORNING/NIGHT/AFTERNOON BYE :)

[urfavnegronerd]

who do yall want nothing even matters to be about

ends ina day

[kxzorvel]

We need more Rue Bennett x Maddy Perez fics! I can definitely see them together

[fatalitysficbakery]

The End Of An Era Ep 1. Rue Bennet ft. Jules x Black Fem!Reader

Genre; Angst/Fluff.

Warnings; Sapphic BS.

Synopsis; I could feel your love fading.

↳ ❤︎ Heavensficbakery navigation menu ❤︎.

↳ ❤︎ Heavensficbakery multifandomed + oc menu ❤︎.

↳ Next episode ❤︎.

Most stories written are started with ease, a simple stroke of the brush that erupts into chaos by the second; this isn’t one of those stories.

You hadn’t known what pulled you into the arms of Jules but it didn’t take long for you to fall head over heels for the blonde, she’d become your obsession, your lover, and your favorite person rolled all into one - the sparkle never left your eyes when you looked at her; if only the feeling was mutual.

The constant fighting and bickering began at the second half of your first year with one another, Jules didn’t treat you like her lover, she didn’t even treat you like a close friend, and that’s what you told Rue Bennet.

- -

You’d lived next door to Rue for as long as you had lived, her home had become your sanctuary away from reality and vice versa- Rue and her mom would always house you if you needed it; you two hadn’t had a proper sleepover in ages when Jules started to act peculiar around you it was like the old days. Smoking weed in Rue’s bedroom and cuddling while listening to Frank Ocean. Those were the only times you felt you could truly be yourself.

You and Rue completed each other, until you got with Jules. Then, she seemed to distance herself, like you were a brand new person she hadn’t seen a day in her life.

↳

Rue was always in your corner, you couldn’t count on both hands how many times she’s saved you, guided you, grew with you - She was always there when you needed her. Always.

A small yellow jeep is parked outside of your home, two women sat in the truck, neither saying a word, with many hanging in the air.

You couldn’t stomach looking at her so your eyes stayed on the clouds, taking a big hit of the blunt in your hand, you try to prepare yourself for the task at hand.

“Y/n”? Her voice was painful now, the voice that used to sound like honey to your ears now sounded like the saddest hymn ever sang - you dreaded hearing it now, knowing you only had so few days left with her, “Can you look at me? Please”?

“I’m watching the clouds”. Your voice was flat and monotonous, hiding the pain behind numbness.

Jules sighed, you both knew and still postponed the inevitable, “Let me explain…”

You scoff.

Let her explain. You could walk away from the jeep now, no closure, no explanation, but you sat still trying to ignore the slow shattering of the last shards of your heart.

“There’s nothing to explain, not anymore. Not anymore, Ju”. You voice trembled as you spoke, still refusing to look at your girlfriend.

Jules bit her lip harshly, this was what she was afraid of - she didn’t understand.

“Isn’t it getting tiring for you”?

Your leg shook nonstop, your fists clenched and eyes cast up to the sky not allowing the tears to fall - for the last 4 months your own relationship became a chore, and now it seemed to be coming to a head, “Lying to yourself”?

The three worded lie on her tongue, it meant nothing to her. You’d look back on your relationship and asked yourself if it ever felt like she meant the words she spoke so angelically and delicately into your ear with her arms around your waist, “I love you”.

She spoke it clearly instead of answering your question, you could feel the scream threatening to rise from your throat and let out the feelings you’d so carefully kept inside, hanging on by a thinly cut piece of thread.

“You’re a liar, Ju”.

The jeep fell silent, neither of you daring to speak again before the other - There were times you wished you could climb inside the woman’s mind and take a look around, to see what her memories of your relationship were like compared to yours, you gathered they’d be shrouded with grey and static instead of the carefully rolled tapes of a romance film that they were in your mind.

“I didn’t lie. I love you, I-I do” She angles her body towards you, her lip quivering. Maybe, maybe in the beginning, you thought. Maybe she loved you then, but where did all go wrong if so?

“You just don’t love me like you used to…If you used to”. tired of beating around the bush, you hold onto the doors handle because you knew it was time to walk away, it was over between you and Jules. It had been over for awhile. Just when you’re about to get out, she places her hand on yours, pleading with you to look at her- You finally did.

“I’m sorry”.

You shook your head, there was nothing you hated more than the word sorry. It fixed nothing, and it sure as hell didn’t fix the aching in your heart; it only made it worse.

“Goodbye, Ju. I love you”.

You spoke numbly.

That’s when Jules knew she had truly lost you. For good.

~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~ + ~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~

Leaving that jeep without looking back was a hard step for you, you wanted to run back and plead with her, figure out where it went wrong and how to fix it but there was simply nothing to fix. Not when the feelings were one sided.

There sat on your porch was a swinging bench, your papa had put it in when you and your mother moved back to her hometown, it was one of your favorite places as a child, you’d sit and swing when you were upset - eventually you got an actual swing, but it could never replace the one your papa put in. It was special to you especially now that your grandfather had passed. You hadn’t sat out there in months, the pain of losing the only father figure you knew too heart clenching to endure at the time. Today marked the first day you’d sat on the thing since your pa’s death; reeling with emotion - it was also the first time you’d cried on it again as well.

You weren’t sure how long you’d been sat on the thing, tears clouding your vision - all you know is that the bench stopped swinging, and there was an arm wrapped around your shoulder, that familiar voice making you cry harder, “Need a shoulder, Lilac”?

- -

Lilac. The nickname she’d given you when you were children, because Lilacs are your favorites. You remember the day she’d come over with a fresh bouquet of them after you’d gotten stood up by your prom date. Thinking back, you realized it was always Rue who cared for you. You hated that the two of you had drifted so far so fast.

“Lilypad.. Why does love hurt”?

“You’re asking the wrong person. Hey, remember when we were kids and we’d sneak up on the roof at night to watch the stars”?

You smiled through your tears, wiping them away from your cheeks, “Yeah, it was my favorite way to escape reality”.

Rue hums. You’re confused for a moment when she stands up and takes your hands, pulling you up as well, “Come on, we have to go pack your ass a bag so you can stop stealing my clothes when you come over”.

“Rue? Wha—” Before you could even attempt to protest she pulls you into your house, and drags you upstairs.

↳

7:39 p.m, Rue’s house.

You were currently changing out of todays now uncomfortable clothes, chatting away with Rue about the stupidest shit. It felt like old times. When things hurt a lot less than they do now.

“Remind me to never love again” You joked, passing Rue the joint between your fingers. You expected her to laugh but instead she was silent, as if she had something on her mind, “Lilypad”?

“I can’t do that” She shrugged.

You rolled your eyes and rested your head on her shoulder, “Fine… Just. Don’t let me fall too deep for the wrong person again”.

You could feel that tightness in your chest return tenfold, bringing your knees to your chest, you sigh.

Rue looked at you like you were the stars themselves, making a promise that she’d finally confess to you one day, she wouldn’t allow you to be hurt again that’s for damn sure, not when she could prevent it by not being a pussy - if you loved her, that is. That neither here nor there, however.

“I won’t, Lilac. I won’t. Cuddles before the stars finally show themselves”?

You smiled at your bestfriend and crawled into her lap, wrapping your arms around her neck, and sighing. “I missed this. I really did”.

Holding you just a little tighter, Rue couldn’t help but think - she missed this a helluva lot too.

~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~ + ~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~

It would be 6 months before Rue gained the courage she needed to finally woman up and make a move. She couldn’t believe she had to get her 15-year-old sister to give her a pep talk before it happened.

Rue’d been to your house many, many times. Hell, it was like her second home, she even had some of her things there and your moms would both buy foods they knew the other liked so you weren’t alarmed when she walked into your bedroom.

“LILYPAD! madukes is pregnantttt! with twins”!

You nearly toppled the woman over trying to hug her, she knew you always loved the idea of having siblings and wanted your own, “Lilac, what did we say about trying to tackle me? I’m happy for you, princess. Um, look…I, uh, got your favorite”.

Princess. Princess. Princess. It repeated in your mind like a broken record, and those feelings unlocked as soon as you’d heard it. You pout, pulling away from the girl, “Fine, fine. My favorite”?

Rue was tall, no doubt about it. A lanky awkward individual and right now? She looked like one of those flailing balloons boys at a car wash with how she shifted side to side trying to occupy the growing nerves in her stomach; pulling out a fresh bouquet of Lilacs, she averts her eyes to her shoes.

You weren’t sure when the last time was that you’d seen Rue Bennet shy and nervous because of you, the only time you could think of is the day you first met, and you were only children then. It was baffling to see her be shy now, I mean the woman had no qualms about either of you getting changed in front of one another, and you talked about literally anything; that’s how your friendship work. So, why was she being so sheepish?

“Lilacs for lilac” You giggle, taking the bouquet standing on your tiptoes you wrap your arms around her neck and kiss her cheek, “Thank you, Lilypad. You know me better than anyone”.

“I do, I do” Rue takes a breath fidgeting with her hands for a bit before finally speaking, “Do you remember asking me to make sure you didn’t fall for the wrong person”?

You smelled the flowers, and sighed in contentment. Oblivious, not putting two and two together on why she asking you that question after giving you lilacs, you nod. “Mhm. And I’d do the same for youl”.

You don’t have to, Rue thought. The woman she fell for was undoubtedly the right person to fall for, “I already fell for someone”.

Your head shot up, your heart beating faster. You didn’t know what it was about those words but you suddenly felt fear rush over you thinking about Rue with anyone else, “Oh? And you didn’t tell me!? Who is she”!? you tried to appear normal but Rue could see right through you better than anyone, and now she knew she was doing the right thing.

Chuckling, the nerves from before melt away as she leans down, pressing a sweet gentle kiss to your lips - Surprised for a moment, you freeze but in time you realize what’s happening, and your lips move against hers, perfectly molded; made for one another.

“I was a little scared to tell her, but I think I’m ready now”.

- -

3 weeks later, the day before vacation.

You and Rue’d been dating for 3 weeks now, but due to being for 2 of those weeks, this was your first day back at school, very ironically on the last day.

You hadn’t seen very much of Jules since your breakup, only briefly seeing her in classes or in the halls - she still tried to contact you, sometimes. You’d answer, but short and dryly which drove Jules absolutely up the wall.

Truth was, she did love you. She thought she didn’t, that she’d fallen out of love with you. Notorious for doing things impulsively, she was regretting her decision by the minute. Your dry replies, and short glances in person were taking a toll on her mentally, when she saw that you’d come back after being sick, she was ready to risk everything to get you back.

↳

Jules couldn’t seem to get you alone, Rue was always with you, finally she was tired of waiting and decided she’d just ask to talk to you privately not knowing that you two were dating now.

You and Rue stood against your locker, one her hands rest on your waist, she wouldn’t admit it because with a lot of people she hated physical touch, but with you it was as if she needed a hand on you at all times, and with physical touch and closeness being your love language you didn’t mind one bit.

“Lilypad? Look at me”?

“Hm”? She looked down at you, high as hell and just happy to be there.

You smiled, caressing your girlfriends cheek, waiting until she looked into your eyes to finally lean in for a kiss, unaware of the lingering stare of your angry ex-girlfriend, unaware of the mess to come.

Unaware. Because all you ever needed was in front you. After being hurt time and time again, it was time for a change.

The end of an era.

To be continued…

~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~ + ~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~

A/N: debating into making this into it’s own universe with its own stories about the the lilac/lilypad relationship. nkneeways first sapphic fic for the gay days! waves flag fr 🏳️‍🌈👩🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏾

[infernalodie]

𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐘 || 𝐑𝐮𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐭

“𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘚𝘪𝘴', 𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘐'𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘬𝘪𝘯 𝘚𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘸𝘦 𝘢𝘪𝘯'𝘵 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯“

Inspo: Tyler, The Creator - SORRY NOT SORRY

Pairing: Rue Bennett x Bennett!Male!reader

Summary: You were sorry, but they made you this way...

Warnings: angst

Words: 2068

Rue couldn’t remember a moment that she saw you happy. It was a myth. Something told in books or journals. And in part, she considered everyone’s fault, including hers. But she never liked admitting it. She never liked staring at you, her older brother, and seeing where she destroyed you. She can pinpoint each flash of attitude being partly her fuck up.

But she wouldn’t take all the blame. Leslie fucked up with raising you. Gia fucked up by nagging you and placing her resentment onto you. And Rue? Well, she fucked you up with the drugs.

That led to now, you sitting opposite her at the dinner table and blocking out whatever conversation was happening between Lesilie and Gia. Something about school and a project Gia was doing with one of her friends. And you kept your eyes focused on your food, ignoring the faint glances from either woman toward you.

You didn’t want to be here. Rue knew this very early before you walked through the door. She also knew that living in the city hadn’t made you homesick judging by the fragrance that clung to your skin and clothes. Or the golden Rolex cuffed around your wrist. You didn’t need to keep this connection with any of them, but you were here. That’s what Rue was stuck on.

“How’s work been, Y/n?” Leslie finally turned her attention to you, a smile on her lips that was genuine.

You glanced up at her for a moment before taking a bite from your steak. “Fine.”

Then there was that familiar silence that fell over the dining room. No one said a word as the unpleasantry took its place. And it took a few moments for Leslie to recover, forcing that smile back on and humming. “Anything interesting going on? How have you and Elliot been-”

By the time she brought up Elliot, your fork rattled against the plate. Enabling the silence to reappear with a far tenser aura radiating from it. You had to squeeze your hand, fisting the tablecloth. “Why are you making small talk? There has to be a reason why you asked me to come back out here?” You speculated, turning your gaze to your mother.

She was perplexed by the straightforward and snappy questions. Looking to Alie, who was sitting at the other end of the table to your left. Neither of you had shared a word or spared a look. And you preferred it that way since you weren’t planning on staying much longer after this dinner.

But Leslie cleared her throat, carefully placing her fork down and clasping her hands in her lap. “I need your help-” Before she could even finish, you scoffed and tossed your cloth into the center of the table.

Rue watched the fabric soak up the gravy, unable to see the similarities it shared with the growing tension in the room. How it was absorbing and growing damper in the mood that she had hoped would be uplifting. A possible event she could chalk up to being a celebration of her recovery. But with the way your eyes were burning into Leslie’s, that hope had been thrown out of the window.

“This is what it was all about, huh? You need my fucking help with bills?” You barked. “You got a man at the table.” You motioned to Ali. “Why the fuck do you need me?”

“Uh, we aren’t even-”

“No one’s talking to, asshat!” The insult made Leslie slam her on the table, trying to control her breathing.

“Use some damn manners when there are guests,”  Leslie exclaimed, making you sigh. “And if you’d like to know, Ali has been helping your sister with her recovery. Way more than you ever have.”

An unapologetic laugh fell from your lips. “Oh? So that’s my fault?” You questioned. “Is Dad’s death my fault now? Hmm?”

That was the final straw for Leslie, who sat up so fast her chair toppled over. Pointing her finger at you and exclaiming, “That’s enough out of you! All you’ve been is arrogant and ungrateful for what I’ve given you!”

“You want to try and guilt trip me and shit? Bitch, I fucking made what I have by myself,” you countered. “I worked for racist assholes at the mill so we could have food on the table. You gave birth to 2 dysfunctional kids that were going to kill themselves!”

“Y/n, that’s enough-!”

“I had to leave before Rue’s drug use had me reaching for the gun!” You continued. You placed weights on my back when dad died and now it’s my fault that I don’t come around? You are a grown-ass woman. Fucking act like it!”

Gia was quietly crying as Rue tried to comfort her little sister. Staring up at the two prolific adults in her life. Two that wouldn’t let her or Gia catch a break. Two people who acted like children and couldn’t put their bullshit aside to enjoy a simple dinner.

And Rue loved you. She appreciated the moments when she got to spend time with you. Going to the movies together, going to Dad’s grave, you being there for her when she was itching for a pill. But this constant bickering that was going on between you and Mom was getting excessive.

You scoffed, standing up and saying, “Man, fuck this shit.” About to walk out of the dining room, you stopped short and turned around. “Oh, and I’m sorry that 4 minutes with me had been such a chore for you to not rely on your kids to pull the weight millions of others have to deal with on their own!” You laughed, raising your arms from your side. “You ain’t shit without me! Without Dad! You are a worthless, spineless, piece of shit!”

That was Ali’s moment to stand up and speak. “You shouldn’t speak to your mother like that, young blood.”

All you could do is look at him with a raised brow. “And who the fuck are you? You’re my sister’s sponsor, right? Does being a sponsor also mean coming into the house and fucking my mom?” Rue sighed, about to speak, but you raised your hand. “Nah, fuck that! Are you gonna tell me that you know what I am going through? That you know trauma?” You laughed, shoving the man back. “You and none of us are special. Everybody got problems and mine come from the bitch that brought me into this world!”

Tears from the past rising to the surface were brought back as you placed your hands on your chest. “I’m sorry I wasn’t pretentious. I’m sorry I wasn’t going to go out of my way to make you proud of me.” You breathed in deeply, shaking your head. “But seeking validation from someone who invalidates you is stupid as fuck. And you call me arrogant because you haven’t experienced a moment of feeling great. Guess what? Since I’ve taken you out of my life, shit has never been fucking better!”

And like that, you were walking out of the house that was in disarray and pent-up emotions that none of them thought they had. Rue was quick to stand to her feet, ignore her mother’s calls and chased after you.

“Caring about you is so fucking complicated.” The statement made you stop. Frowning and turning your head to stare at your sister, who had tears brimming in her eyes.

“What-”

“One minute I want to love you and the next I want to strangle you to the death,” Rue spat. “You’re making things more difficult than they need to be.”

“Rue-”

“No!” She exclaimed. “I talk and you listen, all right?” After a moment, you inhaled profoundly and nodded with a exhale.

“Ever since you left, shit has been hard on Gia. I hate to admit it, but it also has for me.” She ran a hand through her curly strands and shook her head. “But I’ve found this station where I can finally be happy without any pills. I finally recovered. And some part of me thought that you would be willing to put all the bullshit aside and just be there for me.”

Sighing, she waved her hand. “Come around, don’t. I don’t care anymore, okay? But, please for the love of God, just be civil and figure your shit out with Mom,” she said. “You two are destroying the family more by fighting with Mom all the time.”

“You can’t act as if none of this shit matters,” you defended. “She is asking me to pull a weight for her that I cut when I left. And pulling in Ali, who I respect, truly, but what the fuck? She wants me to sit there and act like he isn’t sitting in Dad’s seat?”

“You don’t think I know that? You think I don’t understand what you’re feeling?” She questioned harshly. The tears she’d managed to keep below were rising and spilling over her crystalized vision. Rubbing them harshly in an attempt to suppress or hide the fact that all of this was falling apart in front of her.

Rue never wanted to cry. Not when it came to you. Leaving as you did. Seemingly moving on with your life and putting her, Gia, and your mom in the rearview as you pursued a career that could keep you living a life you never got. And she would never hold that against you. You went for your goals and you got them but left everyone else behind. Of course, you brought Elliot along for the ride because you two were high school sweethearts. But she held resentment toward her old friend and you for having a better life without her.

Exhaling shakily, Rue shook her head. “I wake up and put his sweater on every day. And that’s all it takes for me to be reminded of what we all lost,” she said. “But I dug myself out of the hole I put myself in. And here I was thinking that maybe we all could be a family. To be what we were before Dad died.” Licking her lips, she sniffled. “But I can see I was wrong.”

All you could do is stare at your sister, who had given up on showing the pain she felt. The genuine grief that had struck her all those years ago and how they still had some sort of leeching effect on her. But she also showed you that she made something of herself and that even if it may not correlate with her redemption quest of recovery, you could take her for inspiration. Make right by Gia and try and rekindle a relationship with your mother.

But she wasn’t giving you enough time to form a statement or apology for her. Turning around and slowly made her way to the door where hushed whispers could be heard from Ali and Leslie. Preparing herself for the belligerent comments from her mother about you.

“Rue!” The girl licked her lips, turning around and finding you smiling softly at her. “I’m happy you’re back to your old self, kiddo. No one can make me feel like a piece of shit like you can.”

And finally, after so long, she smiled. Laughing and walking over, being engulfed by your arms that took her into your warm embrace. Inhaling the mahogany wooden collagen you always wore since you two were kids. Originating from your guys’ dad’s personal preferences, and now it had carried down to you, who matched the scent.

Pulling away, she met your gaze and your hands held her face. “I’ll do what I can for you and Gia. Even if it ends with me keeping in touch with you two, I’ll help pay for things, be there for important moments, and drive down when I can,” you explained. “But you need to understand Rue, that there might be a chance that Mom and I don’t repair things.” You watched her sigh in slight disappointment. So, you tilted your head, meeting her gaze once more. “Can you live with that? Because I’m sorry that I hurt you and Gia, but I’m not sorry for what I said about her.”

And Rue took a second. Lips pursing in the compilation of a decision she was responsible for making. But when she did, she smiled, nodding. “I can do that.”

[newwwwusername]

Fanfic requests OPEN for Euphoria (HBO)

I am currently taking fanfic requests for Euphoria (the HBO show)

I will write : - Hurt/comfort - Fluff - AUs - Canon divergence - Songfics - Any other trope (so long as it follows my rules) - Any headcanon (so long as it follows my rules) - Whatever ship you want (so long as it follows my rules)

I won’t write : - Smut or fetish fics - Pedophilia/incest (including adopted family, and including step-siblings)/beastiality ships (or anything like that) - OCs - Crossovers - Y/N - Suicide and self-harm (in reference to canon material such as Jules' self harm is fine but I will not write explicit depictions of either) - Drowning (personal trigger of mine) - Werewolf AUs (werewolves are also a trigger of mine)

Other things to note : - I do not guarantee I will write every request I get. Sometimes requests will just not click with me, and sometimes I don’t feel qualified to fulfill it. I will try to write as many as I can, though - You can also submit any requests to this prompt meme on AO3 if that’s more your style : https://archiveofourown.org/collections/newwwwusernamerequests or to this Google form : https://forms.gle/3K7STap3v715Hidu5

The following is a list of ships and headcanons I particularly like. I’ll write anything, but I’m much more likely to write it if it has one or more of the following

Pairings (/ for romantic, & for platonic) : Rue/Jules, Jules/Elliot, Jules/Maddy, Jules & Lexi, Rue & or / Lexi, Fezco/Lexi, Nate/Jules, Maddy/Cassie, Maddy platonically with most of the main crew, Jules platonically with most of the main crew, Lexi platonically with most of the main crew, Fezco & Rue, Elliot & Rue, Ethan & anyone he needs friends

Headcanons : Autistic!Jules, Autistic!Fezco, Autistic!Lexi, FTM!Elliot, FTM or Nonbinary!Rue, Asexual!Rue

[genuinerio]

SAME OLD LOVE ↠ 「 RUE BENNETT 」

PROLOGUE I.

PAIRINGS: Rue Bennett x OC! (romantic), Maddy Perez x OC! (platonic, siblings), Cassie Howard x OC! (platonic), Lexi Howard x OC! (platonic), Chris McKay x OC! (platonic), Nate Jacob x OC! (platonic)

WORDS: 1,414.

NOTES: It’s official! My intense and committed love for River and Martha and their relationship has inspired me to write Jackie and Rue’s relationship. Also, I decided to make some changes and so I changed my OC’s name to Jackie and wrote her as Maddy’s sibling instead.

SUMMARY: Jackie Noelle Perez is not the stereotypical party girl, everyone wants to believe she is, the beloved brunette is quite the kindest person in her town. Throughout such an uncertain environment that she and older sister, Maddy grew up in, Jackie was someone that was wary of certain people but still tried her best to be kind. Sometimes, to most people especially those who crushed on her, her kind nature could be at fault of her flirtatious personality. The girl always loved to have a good time and with her sister, they met and became friends with Cassie and her sister, Lexi. Throughout this whole ordeal however, this resulted in her meeting the infamous, Rue Bennett, someone she had no idea she would fall for let alone love and trust someone that she didn’t trust yet.

TAGLIST: @shycollectionwolfstuff

JACKIE NOELLE PEREZ, was known for being quite the passionate and artistic girl, she was one of the most well known, highly liked and popular girls at her school for exactly that. In fact, with the connections her and her sister had as well as being best friends with both Kat and Cassie, three of her best friends and apart of the popular clique in her high school, she along with her friends were considered one of the queen bees by those who would see her as so with the stereotypical movie tropes.

Despite what others would accuse especially considering she was a confident woman, Jackie had been one of the sweetest and kindest girls in town. She was very welcoming and offered comfort to every person she had met.

As a matter of fact, Jackie had been very comforting to her on-again, off-again girlfriend, Rue Bennett. Someone whom she had quite a close friendship which eventually had turned into a relationship as the two began to develop romantic feelings for one another because of this obvious closeness.

But despite how much Jackie had loved and cared for Rue, she couldn’t handle the fact that Rue had developed a drug addiction which ultimately, had caused very nasty arguments which led to numerous breakups and makeups, a relationship that her sister and best friend, Maddy had known all too well.

Drug addiction was just a real cruel tragedy to Jackie, she already had lost a loved one to drug abuse and Jackie couldn’t bear to lose Rue either to this drug abuse because if she did, she would never be able to forgive herself for what wasn’t even her fault to begin with in the first place.

And despite the fact that Jackie was no saint herself considering that she loved to smoke marijuana, drink alcohol and party, she never went overboard nor ever partook in doing harder drugs than marijuana.

The brunette knew that truly, she could love Rue all she wanted but there would be a point that even that wouldn’t do or stop anything, the troubled Rue had to change for herself.

Throughout the times in her childhood, she had witnessed substance addiction with the notion of her own father who was an alcoholic. Noticing the effect of how much that impacts a person let alone a relationship broke her heart.

Because of some past heartbreaks, Jackie couldn’t help but be fearful of being open with people she could at times be so unsure of but as she learned that not everyone is your worst enemy nor against you but rather, they care and love you and just want the best for you which helped break the emotional barrier of being so closed off and more open to certain people she was close with.

When Maddy and herself became friends and were introduced to Cassie Howard and her younger sister, Lexi that was when everything changed. The two sisters had eventually introduced the two to Lexi’s best friend, Rue Bennett. Jackie could never believe that she could be caught up and love someone else in a truly romantic way, considering that she was known for being a complete party girl who was afraid of commitment nor would be capable of being such a romantic person as people always felt that there was nobody that she loved more than herself or her family and friends.

However, with amazing highs in a relationship came also extremely amounts of lows for them, the two would have huge arguments over jealousy due to Jackie’s flirtatious personality, Rue’s drug addiction and the distance Jackie gave Rue which definitely hurt Rue considering how deeply in love she was with her.

As much as she didn’t want to break Rue’s heart, there were numerous times of noticing the immense change in personality of Rue due to how bad her drug addiction became, Jackie could not bare to see her like this which resulted in Jackie distancing herself from her girlfriend and in multiple attempts of said arguments and ultimatums, she couldn’t help but feel that the only chance they had in surviving this relationship was various breakups and breaks in the relationship which eventually, they made up in.

For what Jackie deemed as the final attempt to get Rue to receive help, she felt that breaking up was the best decision she made especially when discussing with Maddy and this she felt was the final breakup.

Jackie was going to stick to her word this time around, she’s aware how many times that she said that but then, got back together with Rue but this time, she was serious and Jackie wouldn’t consider a chance of their reconciliation until Rue would accept that she had a problem and get herself help.

The recent breakup had completely devastated Rue and had left her in a total heartbreaking state. The girl could not believe that their relationship was truly over this time around especially since it was an unwanted split and something she didn’t expect whatsoever.

As a way to try to accept such news, Rue had abused various drugs as a sort of coping mechanism in losing Jackie since she was still very much in love with the beloved redhead.

Through abusing more drugs, Rue felt that it would help but it truly only made things worse for her especially in her addiction as the thought of her no longer having her girl to stand beside her, being her refuge, it was clearly the beginning of the end for her.

With endless amount of drugs, it left Rue in such an unfortunate fate, battling whether she would live or die with the cause of a drug overdose, something Jackie couldn’t help but believe was truly her fault if she hadn’t left her, she’d still be okay.

In the midst of Jackie’s act of grieving over their relationship ending which happened over the summer, she retreated back to her party girl and flirtatious ways, something that she had already been doing but this time went more into extreme lengths than all the other times.

The woman felt that it would be in the best idea and interest if she didn’t focus on a romantic relationship afterwards as her way was to explore and keep her options open.

In her way of thinking, dealing with a breakup with someone she still loved was as painful as if she was to accidentally toy with someone’s feelings which was something people secretly deemed to be true of her.

Jackie had been seen as someone who could make everyone fall in love with her oftentimes all in the same minute which was also thanks to her flirty nature and her genuine aura.

Despite the various times that Jackie would see her relationship with Rue to be truly over, it was clear for those who knew the truth that it so would not be. By intending to try to do so, Jackie would hookup and try to pursue other relationships with whoever she could sense was worth her time.

At the end of it, despite any relationship that they each had which was more of Jackie than Rue, they would always find their way back to each other, the two had that same old love.

DANNA PAOLA as JACKIE NOELLE PEREZ.

ARIANA GREENBLATT as YOUNG JACKIE.

EUPHORIA CAST as THEIR RESPECTIVE CHARACTERS.

[honeybear-yammy]

𝐑𝐮𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐭 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

© Honeybear-Yammy, please do not steal, translate, copy, or transfer my work.

| $ - Smut | * - Fluff | # - Angst | ! - Dark Content |

Imagines, Blurbs & Drabbles

↳ Love Note *

↳ Bathroom $

Series/Parters

↳ nothing yet...

Headcannons

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[dvesinthewind]

Dear April | Lexi Howard & Rue Bennett (Character Study)

synopsis: Because growing up is hard, and as innocence withers away with age we face the repercussions. Sometimes it's okay to remember where you came from even if it hurts to remember life isn't the same anymore. WC 1.7K

a/n: watched waves and couldn't resist. a character analysis of this beautiful and raw friendship. enjoy.

warnings: spoilers in general, angst af, addiction, substance abuse, struggling with grasping adulthood, sister troubles, loneliness, heartbreak, lexi can't let go of the past, sandbox friends trope

A yellow hue filters itself through the blinds on a warm summer night. The street lamps tend to do this, falsely advertising what appears to be an early morning. The ceiling fan rattles with little dismay, sitting almost precisely between the two sections of the shared bedroom. It remains at the highest speed-- per Cassie's request, and Lexi shutters underneath her covers like she would if it were mid-January on the upper east coast. It isn't the cold that abruptly awakes her, she isn't sure what does, but as her eyes peer open an unsettling feeling erupts in her stomach and grows more severe as time passes. The room is dark save for the light coming from those damned street lights, and Cassie's unbothered, restful figure lays peacefully underneath a fur blanket.

Lexi's mind lingers off to Rue like it normally does at this time of night, or really at any time if she's honest. She wonders if she's high off of weed or some crazy psychedelic. She wonders where she got it from; off the street or if Fezco provided it to her. That was something she never understood but regardless minded her business. Maybe Rue was fast asleep dreaming of sobriety, an alternate life, a path she could have chosen to take. Lexi clenches her eyes shut, and pushes the Bennett girl as far as she can to the back of her mind.

When Rue first started using drugs--or at least when Lexi initially knew of it, it was too much for her adolescent brain to handle. She acted cool in front of Rue, but as soon as she was settled at home she recalled a moment of weakness; teary-eyed and wobbly lips, crying on the carpet as Cassie stared blankly at her younger sister. Cassie couldn't possibly understand, Rue wasn't her best friend, but it weighed so heavily on Lexi's chest she turned to the first person she hoped would listen. Cassie rubbed Lexi's back, at loss for words, but advised Lexi there was nothing she could do. An ache struck in the younger Howard's heart, leaving it her turn to stare at her sister blankly.

As weeks grew into months, Rue's under-eyes sunk in like dark quicksand and drew serious attention to what used to be natural beauty. It wasn't that Rue Bennett wasn't beautiful anymore-- to claim such a thing would be absurd, but something was noticeably different. She fell asleep during class with her long brown curls draping over the desk like curtains. The locks swayed with every dormant movement as if the window was latched open, and a warm breeze was responsible, but it was anything but. Lexi could find beauty in anything-- even the commencement of a tragic time in her life. The Rue Bennett that was snoring lightly in that chemistry class just a few feet from Lexi, was the same Rue Bennett she used to eat ice cream with on gas station rooftops. It had to have been. How much time had passed? The naivety in the youngest Howard sibling couldn't anticipate drugs changing her best friend that much. Was it solely drugs, or the inevitability of growing up that caused a diversion in the friendship? Younger Lexi would obliviously not choose both.

After Rue had only come to Lexi for a urine sample, Lexi had reluctantly accepted defeat. Rue was a ghost of who she used to be, and Lexi mourned her excessively as if she were really dead. Lexi had mentally prepared herself for the moment the phone would ring with Rue's mom on the other end, attempting to relay the message of a successful overdose. The death of the eldest Bennett sister could not catch her off guard. She wouldn't let it.

Naturally, Lexi considered herself to not become a cynic, but a realist. She learned from observation, from watching other people make tremendous mistakes she couldn't fathom the very idea of-- a very symptom of taking on an adult role at such a young age. The truth was that she was hurting. She was tired of living in her sister's shadow, tired of watching Rue kill herself, and tired of feeling like she had no one to turn to. Watching everyone else seemingly lose control over themselves made Lexi clasp onto responsibility as if she were clutching a seatbelt before a crash. Lexi had a life to live, a bright future if she could help it, she wouldn't let herself lose control even if it were just briefly.

She doesn't see Rue much anymore. They seldom pass each other in the hallways at school, their lives running parallel and diverging separately at a crossroad. It reminds Lexi of that Robert Frost poem, and she hopes to tell that to Rue one day. She knew Rue would likely look at Lexi puzzled, and Lexi would take her time trying to explain it. She would choose her words carefully making them as descriptive as possible, and the Bennett girl would stare off into the distance, still listening. Or at least that's how she imagined it in her head anyway.

Lexi misses Rue in a type of yearning she'd never wish upon anyone. She continues to mourn, mourn, mourn until it feels almost natural. Until she's almost convinced Rue is actually gone even when her slender figure can be seen lethargically stalking the halls.

This is around the time Lexi begins writing her play. She titles it "Our Life", and shoves all of the important events of her own and her friends' lives into a singular night. She writes with a heavy heart and a quick hand and pours her entirety into the script, and doesn't tell a soul outside of Fezco about it.

She thinks about Rue's life, her battle with addiction, and the fact that her story had never been told from someone like Lexi's perspective. Lexi wanted to preserve every aspect of Rue, before and after she became addicted to drugs. Despite how hard she tried, Lexi refused to bury the memory of who Rue used to be by paving it over with who Rue became. It was impossible to forget the times they spent on the gas station rooftops, the sleepovers that lasted weeks at a time-- essentially a sandbox friendship Lexi would unwillingly move on from.

The night of the play rolls around and Lexi is hit with a wave of nerves. She fears her friends' reactions--the very reactions that are justified judging by what Lexi was about to do--unknowingly to all of them to be exact.

Rue sits in the all-but empty crowd with healthy skin and a recently sober body. Her skin is glowing underneath the auditorium lighting and her hair is pulled back away from her face. It presents an innocence that Lexi embraces warmly. She isn't sure how long the sobriety will last, but she hopes Rue will nourish it, water it, and coddle it as if it were a precious life-- because to Lexi, it was.

The only face I know in the crowd.

"What batters you becomes your strength," Lexi reads loudly to the entirety of her crowd, voice unwavering. "Move back and forth into the change. What is it like, such intensity of pain?" She glances at the actual Rue when she recites this, Rue's focus providing Lexi with the strength she needed to continue. "If the drink is bitter, turn yourself to wine."

When Lexi isn't on stage she reflects just as she normally does. She isn't so cynical, she appreciates the friendship she once had. She appreciates Rue for somewhat sticking around. She appreciates who, or whatever for gifting Rue sobriety, for giving her another chance.

And our two strange lives it made us new, it took us through, it woke us up.

Lexi peers around the curtain when she's sure no one is watching, they're all too submersed in the mess she's created-- the art she's perfected so carefully. She watched the crinkling in everyone's eyes, she listened to the laughter ripple off of the auditorium walls, and she still could care less about any of their reactions. Lexi could disregard the fact that she was receiving appraisal from anyone, but not Rue. Rue's feelings mattered the most that night. The youngest Howard wanted to thank her for making her the woman she was becoming.

Just like you woke me up, you made me new, you took me through.

Her play almost gets ruined by the same person that's always managed to ruin everything. But Lexi doesn't allow her to, she won't let Cassie take this away from her. Not tonight, not when she had a story to tell.

The play finishes off exactly how she wanted it to. Her and Rue, rekindling, making amends, attempting to fix what's been broken. Lexi allows genuine tears to stream down her face, and she pretends Rue's lookalike is actually Rue, the one she constantly thinks about. She didn't lie when telling Fezco the play was about friendship, but perhaps that wasn't the entire truth. Our Life depicted Lexi's heartbreak over learning through observation, over observing the deterioration of her childhood best friend's livelihood. It regretfully reminded of the difficulty of facing adulthood as a young adult and sometimes acknowledging the inevitability of life's particular events that sometimes leave a bitter taste in one's mouth.

Lexi doesn't anticipate Rue's reaction to be negative, in fact, the complete opposite based off of the script she had written for the play. She believes they might have more in common now that they're damaged, than before when they were protected by the safety net of adolescence and naivety. She desires Rue to be the one who takes something from all of this, to start giving things a reason rather than suspecting they just happen for one. To adapt to each of life's seasons, swim with the tide, and sometimes sit idly by as you lose grasp and unavoidably outgrow innocence is all Lexi hoped to eventually master and hoped the same for Rue too-- even if that meant separately.

"I missed you," Lexi states, in the very last line of the play. Several months of perfected writing summarized down to just a few hours and a roller coaster of emotions.

What we had won't be the same now, but you will make something new and it'll take you through this.