#hope you at least get some entertainment from the pictures lol

[siilvan]

bloodsport – IV

prologue | one | two | three | next

characters: vladimir makarov

summary: your first time back in the field is a whirlwind of emotions, especially after being forced to rely on yet another enemy. new information is revealed, and you realize that a drastic action may be the only way to fix this mess.

genre: angst, slowburn, enemies to ?, fem!reader (callsign: petra)

warnings: semi-proofread, cursing, canon-typical violence, descriptions of blood/injuries, poorly written spec-ops, allusions to trauma and stress, reader has a bit of a breakdown, graves lol

word count: 6k

note: giving a quick PSA here— please be mindful about what y'all write. i know this fic is about a very controversial and problematic character, but i try to be mindful about how i portray him and his actions. don't romanticize things that should not be romanticized, and be respectful to people. COD as a whole is problematic, but that doesn't mean we need to be a shitty community. support real victims, don't spread hate. easy peasy.

also, yes, i changed my formatting. the little text is too hard to read without my glasses, so... yeah. hope it's not ugly now :)

you spend the rest of the night tossing and turning, trying but failing to will yourself to fall asleep. soap texts you shortly before the sun comes up - a picture of himself and the rest of the team, posing for the camera. they're covered in dirt and ash, exhaustion apparent in their eyes, but the image is enough to make you crack a smile.

you give them a few hours, pulling yourself out of bed after sunrise and occupying yourself with mundane tasks around the house, before picking up the phone and calling price.

"hey, captain. sorry for calling so early." you chuckle, leaning against the arm of the couch.

"don't worry about it," price clears his throat, hoarse from fatigue, and you wonder for a second if he was asleep before you called. "was just finishing some paperwork. what d'you need?"

a low sigh escapes from you. "i know it's only been a day, but... can i come back? i really want to get back to work."

you can hear papers shuffling from his end. "i know you want to work, but we just can't take the risk—"

"there isn't going to be any risk," you assert, raising your voice slightly and interrupting him. you pause and wet your lips, speaking in a softer tone again. "please, captain, i know i can handle it. i just want to get back to normal already."

the line is quiet for a long moment, with price silently deliberating over your request. you shift nervously, gripping the phone tighter as you wait impatiently for a response.

finally, after you shift for the umpteenth time, he exhales deeply.

"i'll see if i can convince laswell, okay?" he concedes. you can hear his chair creaking as he leans back - you're assuming, at least. "pack your bags. i'll send a transport helicopter in an hour."

⋆⋆⋆

that's how you ended up at base again, with the team welcoming you back with open arms. laswell initially rejected the idea, stating the same concerns as before, but price managed to sway her after some discussion.

so, now you're in a meeting room, gathered around a table with lists, blueprints, names, pictures— any and all of the intel that the task force has gotten their hands on, scattered across the surface. you blink when price raps his knuckles against the tabletop, drawing your attention.

it's laswell who talks, shooting a glance around the table to address the group. "as you're all aware, shadow company has been a target of the konni group in recent times," she starts, sending you a cursory look, asking you for confirmation. you nod, and she continues. "not only have they been fighting the group head-on in al-mazrah, but there's been several incidents with undercover konni operatives in their ranks."

"good, let 'em fuckin' deal with it." soap remarks, earning noises of agreement from gaz, ghost, and yourself. price and laswell aren't as entertained by it.

"general shepherd, commander graves, and their men betrayed us." laswell pauses before letting out a heavy sigh. "i know none of you were happy about the ceasefire, and i know that you were furious when graves resurfaced. but, besides farah's forces, shadow company is our strongest ally."

"—and the only one capable of making any strong moves without risking an all-out war." price adds, shaking his head. everyone's displeased with the situation, that much is obvious.

"where are you goin' with this?" ghost asks. a tense silence fills the room for a long moment, making you shift awkwardly.

laswell motions towards the door on the far side of the room with her head. you cast your gaze in the same direction, watching as the door is pushed open.

as if on cue, the very man that should've been buried in flames in las almas walks into the room. the shadow himself. philip graves.

"oh, fuck off." soap growls at the man, looking ready to lunge at him from across the table. ghost steps forward and, if you didn't know any better, you'd think he was reaching for his sidearm. gaz and price are eerily quiet while glaring daggers at him, and you immediately feel the blood rush to your ears as every nerve commands you to shoot him yourself.

"i know this isn't ideal," laswell attempts to placate all of you, though the cold stare she regards him with betrays her calm demeanor. "but, for now, we're allies. we have a bigger threat to worry about."

"yeah, those konni guys are, uh..." graves perks up, languidly sauntering up to the table. he purses his lips for a second, thinking, before clicking his tongue. "real troublesome. i've lost a lot of good men thanks to them."

"good." ghost mutters, straightening himself next to soap.

price cuts through the tension with a wave of his hand. "alright, none of us want this, but we've got no other options." he grumbles. "konni's moving towards urzikstan. if we want to stop 'em, then we need to cooperate."

you eye graves from your peripherals, recalling the information that makarov gave you a couple weeks ago. graves isn't in on shepherd's plan, but he's likely the only person who knows the general's whereabouts. you need to say something while you still can. how will he take the news, though? he's betrayed you before, he'll do it again if it benefits him.

"petra, you listening?" laswell's voice abruptly interrupts your thoughts. you divert your attention back to her and notice that everyone's focus is on you.

"i have something i need to say," you blurt out. you need to bring up the general before he potentially ropes graves in.

you receive a collection of interested stares, urging you to go on.

"when i was captured, i managed to get some information," you drop your gaze, narrowing your eyes at the documents laid out. "we're not just fighting konni and al-qatala. some of the forces occupying al-mazrah are under shepherd's command."

the silence that falls over the room is almost deafening. the group balks at you with shock and confusion written on their expressions, until graves huffs out a laugh.

"general shepherd's 'forces' are my men. i can assure you, petra, that none of my shadows are workin' with konni." he says with a lopsided smile, confident as ever.

you turn to face graves fully, grimacing. "i'm not talking about your shadows. shepherd has another group under his command."

"what group?" price asks.

"cia operatives. ex-soldiers, specifically." you turn back, eyes flitting between price and laswell. "he's sending men undercover. the unmarked mercenaries that we keep encountering? that's them."

laswell shakes her head and crosses her arms over her chest. "where did you get this information?"

you freeze. your mouth opens to say makarov's name, but for some reason, you hesitate. with a deep inhale, you blink away the odd feeling and force the words past your lips.

"makarov. i'm not sure why, but he told me about it."

yet another unbearable tension befalls the group; you're getting close to ripping your hair out over it. as if reading your thoughts, gaz speaks up.

"you know about this?" he says, directed at graves. he's tight-lipped, glowering at him.

graves doesn't respond, letting the question hang in the air. he looks just as surprised as the rest of you - makarov was telling the truth, then. shadow company isn't in on the plan. shepherd has effectively betrayed his strongest ally, to your knowledge.

"i'm sure there's an explanation," graves utters, chuckling to himself. "war's a dirty business. there's good reason to send men undercover."

"he's got part of the special activities division in his pocket." laswell says.

"isn't that where you pulled alex from?" price hums, earning a nod in reply. it's a bad situation, to say the least.

you regain everyone's attention and continue. "i don't know the full plan, but makarov suspected that shepherd's doing this to put himself back on top. start a war, get himself marked as a hero, reap the rewards."

graves raises a brow at you, amusement written on his face. "and, we should trust the judgement of a terrorist?" he says while searching the room for support.

price keeps his gaze on you, though the distant look in his eye tells you that his mind is elsewhere. "i'd trust this one's judgement." he mutters, jaw clenching.

"well, there's no point in standin' around, is there?" graves seems to bounce back quickly, shrugging off the news. "we've got a job to do and a terrorist to catch. let's focus on that."

"i'll contact farah and see if alex knows anything about the men under shepherd's command." laswell says as you all break away from the table and start to file out of the room.

"keep us updated," price nods to her before turning to the rest of you. "wheels up in thirty. we'll debrief on the way."

you breathe out a relieved sigh once everyone breaks off, heading off to finish any last minute preparations before takeoff. you linger in the corridor, running a hand down your face and groaning into the palm of your hand. of course, you have no choice but to work with an enemy whilst relying on intel from yet another. at least you can be open with your team about this one.

shepherd and makarov are your targets. graves comes after. take down all three, and your headaches are gone. no more doubting yourself, no more questions, no more nights spent looking at lists of crimes that make you feel sick. you can resume your not-so-peaceful life with the rest of the task force and celebrate the world being a somewhat safer place.

your phone buzzes in your pocket, distracting you from your pondering and pulling you back to the present. you frown at the name on the caller id.

it's a single letter: 'v.'

after your conversation - if you can even call it that - with makarov last night, you saved his number. putting his name in your phone is basically shooting yourself in the foot, so you saved it under a name that gives you deniability in the event someone sees it.

you duck into an empty rec room nearby and accept the call, keeping an eye on the door as you lift the phone to your ear.

"you actually picked up the phone this time." makarov remarks upon you answering. your frown deepens, brows furrowing.

"if you don't have anything important to say, i'm hanging up."

he chuckles, far too casual for your liking. "i have an update. something that i'm sure you'll be interested in."

you shift, leaning against the back of one of the couches. "what is it?"

"in case you're planning to return to al-mazrah, just know that shepherd's men have been given strict orders to target and eliminate members of the one-four-one."

a chill creeps up the back of your spine. it's an unsurprising order, but you still rack your brain as to why he gave it. does shepherd somehow know that you know about his plans? it shouldn't be possible— until the meeting that finished just minutes ago, the only people privy to the knowledge were makarov and yourself.

of course, shepherd's allies are aware of it, but the only ally of his that you've contacted is graves. you doubt that he's talked to the general in the short amount of time since, which eliminates graves as a possibility just as quickly as you suspected him.

there has to be another source. someone feeding him information, keeping the one-four-one under watch.

"shepherd's got a mole in our group." you reply, pinching the bridge of your nose. "fucking hell. he knows that we're onto him."

"'we,' lieutenant?" he comments with an amused lilt in his tone.

"my team, asshole. he's got men undercover in your group and in my squad. he's watching all of his enemies."

makarov hums, voice dropping a little. "you have a keen eye, petra. have you asked the shadow about shepherd's whereabouts, yet?" he asks, brushing past your frustration.

"haven't had the chance," you mutter. "based on his reaction to the news, i doubt he'll give it away, though. we might have to get the location ourselves."

he exhales, audible through the phone. "it would be more convenient if you could convince him to tell you."

you roll your eyes. "yeah, of course it would. just don't expect any miracles. aren't you the one with all the mysterious ways of gathering information, anyway?" you grumble sarcastically and move away from the couch, starting to pace around the room while keeping your gaze on the door.

"i can get his location if necessary, but that would eliminate your usefulness in this operation, wouldn't it?"

he's right, and you hate him for it. "you still need me to kill him." you counter bluntly.

"i can do that, too. your team wants revenge for his betrayal. this is me being charitable - don't disappoint."

makarov ends the call before you have the chance to argue, leaving you to huff to yourself in the empty room. a moment later, a head pokes around the doorway, startling you and nearly making you drop your phone when you jump.

gaz is regarding you with a sly grin as he fully reveals himself and steps into the room. your palms immediately moisten with sweat as worry floods your mind - how much did he just hear?

"so, who you talkin' to?" gaz cocks his head to the side, teasing. he's relaxed, standing in front of you with his hands shoved in his pockets.

you pocket your phone and flash a calm smile. "that depends. you have any guesses?"

he chuckles, lifting one of his hands to playfully stroke at his chin as he thinks. "let's see... i know you weren't home for long, but—" his grin morphs into a lopsided smirk as he eyes you suspiciously. "y'got a boyfriend?"

dear god, no.

you resist the urge to gag at the thought and shake your head. "nope, it's just a... friend of mine."

gaz leans forward, an inquisitive 'ah' tumbling from his lips. "a friend, eh? they got a name?" he asks.

"he, uh... just goes by 'v.'"

"'v?' like the letter?"

you answer with an affirmative "mhm," patting gaz on the shoulder as you brush past him. "it's a nickname i gave him. don't worry about it."

gaz groans in exasperation as you stroll towards the door, trying to ignore the way your heart races. lying is a normal part of the job, but lying to your team? generally not recommended.

"most 'just friends' don't have exclusive nicknames, you know!" gaz calls out from behind as you round the corner and start down the hall, leaving him alone.

a sick part of you finds the sentiment - makarov, being anything more than an enemy - entertaining, but your better judgement steers you back on track. you've got a mission to prepare for, and the likelihood of something going wrong is as high as ever. you need to focus on the mission and getting graves to give up shepherd.

⋆⋆⋆

shadow company's gunship is a familiar sight as you climb aboard, slipping past the groups of shadows and finding your teammates gathered around what you can only describe as the command center. graves is standing close by, though the tension is palpable as you approach.

after the aircraft lifts off is when graves talks, addressing the soldiers lining the seats of the craft.

"alright, now i know we've had our problems in the past," he starts, briefly acknowledging your group before turning back to his men. "however, none of that matters right now. the one-four-one is our ally on this mission; treat 'em like your own. copy that, shadows?"

johnny snorts from next to you. "where have we heard this before?" he mumbles.

there's a resounding "yep-yep" from his men, accompanied by several nods and looks in your direction. graves pats one of the soldiers on the shoulder and looks to price.

"think you can lay out the rest, captain."

price starts down the middle row, his voice booming even over the sounds of people checking their weapons, gear, and anxiously shifting in their seats. he moves slowly, practically stalking down the length of the gunship.

"the mission is simple: konni and al-qatala have set up bases across the city. they're using gas, heavy artillery, and stolen weapons to protect themselves." price stops for a moment and lets his gaze drag over the soldiers staring back at him. "i don't think i need to remind you shadows of what konni's done to your brothers in arms. we're going to break off into strike teams - eight men - and destroy these bases. alpha team will take the nerve center in the heart of the city. you already know your assignments."

graves speaks again once price goes quiet. "the commanders are not likely going to be in any of these field bases. but, if they are, then each and every single one of you has execute authority." he announces. "first man to bag an HVT gets a reward." he adds with a smirk, earning light laughter from several of his men.

when the speeches conclude, you settle back in your seat.

alpha team includes yourself, price, graves, and five of the shadows that graves handpicked. ghost, soap, and gaz are leading the bravo team, charged with the largest and best-guarded of the field bases. the commanding chain within shadow company are leading the other groups tasked with the bases scattered around the city.

you fish your phone out of one of your vest pockets when it buzzes, reading the notification on the screen.

there's an agent in your group 11:06 am

not a shadow. special forces. 11:06 am

you frown, angling the screen back and quickly scanning the group. everyone seems to be engrossed in conversation, giving you a chance to respond.

do you have a name? 11:07 am

not yet. he's a rookie. 11:07 am

he's stationed at the base you're staying at 11:07 am

check the files. should have transferred recently. 11:08 am

thank you. 11:08 am

don't mention it. 11:09 am

you're quick to tuck your phone away again, jolting when gaz suddenly addresses you.

"texting your boyfriend, eh?" he laughs, catching everyone's attention.

soap snorts and turns to you. "since when did you start dating?"

you wave them off, sitting up again as all eyes fall on you - even ghost, who is usually horribly uninterested in gossip.

"what are you two, schoolchildren?" you ask, earning playful noises of offense. "he's just a friend. not even a close one."

you're getting yourself caught up in a lie. a shitty one, at that. all it's doing is making people more interested in who you're talking to. at this rate, you'll get caught by the end of the day.

"bullshit— no one in this job talks to a person this much if they're not special." gaz counters, pointing an accusatory finger at you.

price chuckles. "c'mon, gaz. come off it," he lightly scolds the sergeant before looking at you. "just make sure he treats you nice, yeah?" he adds, both teasing and sincere at the same time.

"he's not my— yeah, okay. i'll remember that." you concede, slumping back in your seat.

the topic is dropped not long after, leaving you to relax as people talk around you. after a couple minutes, you can feel your eyelids start to droop, reminding you of how restless last night was. the trip's going to take a while, you might as well get some sleep while you still can.

⋆⋆⋆

everything is so hot. the sun, the ground, your clothes, the air— you.

you don't have any protective gear on, your sidearm secured in your loose grip as you stumble through the ruins where a city once stood.

that's right, you think. the city was destroyed in all the fighting. reduced to nothing more than rubble. you remember when there used to be buildings here; half-toppled and abandoned, but they stood as evidence of life nonetheless.

you falter, landing on your knee and hissing as it hits the solid ground below you. your vision starts to blur as your eyes water, forcing you to rub at them with your free hand in a desperate attempt to clear them.

when you blink rapidly, trying to force back the disorientation and bleariness, you notice a figure directly ahead of you.

an ally. a friend. someone that can help.

you force yourself to your feet and stagger towards them, sucking in a hopeful breath when they start to rush to meet you. the harsh sun— fuck, it's so hot— makes you squint, preventing you from making out a face until they're already pulling you into their embrace, strong arms holding you close to their chest.

"it's okay." their voice— his voice, reassures you softly, one of his hands coming to rest on the back of your head, cradling you impossibly closer. "i took care of it, my dear. you're safe now."

hot tears streak down your cheeks, dirty with sand, dust, and ash, as you wrap your arms around his middle. you try to speak, but all that comes out is a hiccup and a pathetic sob, so you resolve to burying your face in his shoulder to muffle your cries.

you're tired. exhausted, actually. for once in this career, you want to be selfish. you want to be the protected one. fighting, losing allies, killing— it never ends.

he shushes you, but even in your state, you can tell the action is unnatural. gentleness, empathy, tender care... it isn't who he is.

you manage to lift your head enough to look at him, eyes glassy with tears.

makarov stares back at you, his callous gaze betraying the way he holds you. it makes you pause, confused, as you slowly recall why you're even here.

you were fighting konni operatives. there was a missile— no, something bigger. something that decimated the city and would have taken you along with it, had you not ducked into a shelter at the very last second. when you emerged, shaken and dazed in the aftershock, you encountered al-qatala and konni mercenaries alike.

bodies scattered in the streets, men wheezing for air despite blood displacing the oxygen in their lungs and leaking from every orifice, some still trying to fight even as they collapse in heaps of pure agony, writhing on the ground alongside their brothers in arms.

you wince when his fingers trace along the edge of your jaw, his forefinger hooking under your chin and forcing you to look into his eyes after your gaze drifts away.

"their lives mean nothing," makarov whispers, barely audible over the sound of your heart pounding against your ribcage. "not compared to you. you're better, stronger, than them. you will serve me well. you will help me usher in a new age."

he runs the pad of his thumb across your bottom lip, slightly chapped from the dry heat. on instinct, you part your lips, and he moves his hand to cup your face before leaning in to capture your lips in a searing kiss.

it's wrong. this is wrong.

you shouldn't be here. you shouldn't be doing this.

the kiss is a distraction, keeping you occupied as his other hand falls from its spot on your hip. you don't even notice the change until a gunshot rings out, and pain equally as burning as the kiss courses through your veins.

you can't even muster a proper cry as you pull back, one of your own hands flying to the epicenter of the pain, right in the middle of your stomach. your fingers brush against the spot, and you whimper when you lift them back up to your face. dark red stains your skin, dripping down your wrist.

"i just need to fix you first. under my guidance... you will be perfect, my dear." makarov mutters, catching you and holding you up when you crumple against him. he coos at you, sympathetic yet mocking, as he scoops you up in his arms, the world around you going dark.

⋆⋆⋆

you wake up with a start, shifting to the edge of your seat as you frantically rub at your eyes. there's an ache deep in the pit of your stomach, making you press your palm against the same spot as your dream.

this time, when you look down at your hand, you see nothing. a shaky sigh escapes from you at the sight - or, rather, the lack thereof.

"y'all right?" ghost asks, eyeing you from the seat across from you.

"yeah, yeah—" you respond, shaking off the lingering effects of the dream. "we almost there?"

price comes over, having been talking with graves some feet away, and pats your shoulder in acknowledgement. "about to touch down, actually. let's go."

you disembark alongside the rest of alpha team, taking up formation with price and graves, with the few shadow company operatives behind the three of you. reaching the building isn't a difficult task despite the many mercenaries standing between it and your team; as much as you hate to admit it, the shadows are skilled in the field, even with their misgivings.

the building is another high rise, like the one you infiltrated weeks ago, half-crumpled from the effects of the fighting in the city. price leads the group as you all enter it through a sizeable hole in the wall, clearing out the first floor with trained precision.

the group of shadows form a perimeter just outside as you investigate the interior with price and graves, finding it... empty?

"thought you said this was the nerve center," you mutter, turning to the men as they search around, equally as perplexed as you. "there's nothing here."

price shakes his head, standing up from where he was crouched over some rubble. "there was something here. they must've moved."

"they knew we were comin'." graves says with a frustrated huff. "probably just protecting it to keep up the charade. the real control center could be anywhere in the city."

the two start for the exit with you in tow. "could be outside of it for all we know. we need to contact the other squads." price replies before pausing at the threshold and angling his head upwards. you stop several feet back and send him a confused look, before a low rumbling echoes throughout the building, sending dust and small debris falling from the floors above.

the rumbling stops for a second, until a louder, harsher one follows. larger pieces of wreckage start to loosen and threaten to fall, small bits clattering against the ground.

"shit, the building's too unstable— it's gonna collapse—!" price shouts as a metal beam crashes into the ground less than twenty feet away from you.

while price and graves are able to duck out amidst the falling debris, you're forced to dive backwards after a piece of the floor above falls right into your path. you search for a way around it, but as the violent shaking increases and sends more collapsing down all around you, you realize that cover might be your only option.

you scan the room quickly and dive under a pile of slabs and beams, sturdy enough to not collapse under the weight of falling wreckage, but with just enough room for you to squeeze in underneath.

it's only seconds after you find cover that the thundering sounds of heavy rubble crashing down all around you fills your ears, forcing you to cover them with your hands as each crash makes you flinch.

the worst of the destruction is short-lived. a couple minutes pass by before you're willing to move, the occasional piece of the upper floors still collapsing around you every now and then. you let out a trembling breath once you emerge, pure adrenaline coursing through your veins.

the exit. you hastily search for it, but all hope drains from you when you find it and see that it's completely blocked by the wreckage.

"petra? can you hear me?" price's voice crackles through your radio.

you go to respond, coughing harshly due to all the dirt and dust floating in the air. "i hear you— i'm all right," you tear your eyes from the exit and look for another path. it's a big building, surely you can find something. "just stuck in here." you grumble into the radio.

"we're gonna try to find another way in, see if you can meet us somewhere." he says. you can hear graves barking orders at his men in the background. "be careful." price adds in a rushed tone.

you drop your hand from your radio and clutch your gun close as you carefully traverse the field of debris, mentally thanking whatever higher power that the building only partially collapsed on top of you, instead of crushing you completely.

every movement out the corner of your eyes makes you stop and aim your weapon at it; it's highly unlikely - but not impossible - that you're not alone. anyone could've snuck in after the collapse, or hidden themselves like you did. al-qatala, konni, shepherd's men— you have a lot of enemies and very few allies in the area.

you spin around at the sound of something shifting, but only see a few pieces of wood hitting the ground. you're getting too paranoid. you try to steel yourself, breathing deeply, before a smooth voice makes you choke on the air that gets caught in your throat.

"you are very unlucky, aren't you?"

you turn again, gun drawn and finger on the trigger, but stop short upon seeing a friendly...

well, you see makarov standing across the room. it's an enemy that doesn't seem all-too interested in killing you - for now, at least.

"how did you..." you trail off, lowering your weapon.

apparently understanding your question, he vaguely motions behind himself. "there's a breach." he says, glancing over the destruction as he approaches you.

you squint at him as he draws closer, briefly tightening your grip on your gun. he stops several feet away, though, so you allow yourself to relax just a bit, lowering your weapon.

"i figured you'd be staying far away from al-mazrah, it's an active war zone after all." you comment, earning a dismissive look.

"i don't mind getting my hands dirty," makarov utters with a lofty grin tugging at his lips. "besides, we need to talk."

you cock your head to the side, curious. "and, you couldn't call or text me about this? that's been working out so far." you chuckle softly.

he steps closer again, standing a little over an arm's length away. "i happened to be close by." he responds. "this is also something better discussed in person."

you nod, hesitantly slinging your gun over your shoulder to cross your arms over your chest.

"after our last exchange, i managed to gather more information from my... source." he punctuates the last word with a half-assed attempt at a conciliatory smile. "the mole planted within your group reported to shepherd recently; he's aware of our communication." he continues, before you interrupt him.

"wait, no one knows about this, not even my squad." you assert, taking another step closer to him. you're just under an arm's length away, now.

"there was an agent within the group assigned to your care when you were captured. one of the two men that accompanied us on the first day - he listened in on our conversation and delivered the details to the general." makarov speaks in a hushed tone, one you can just barely hear over rubble crumbling somewhere nearby. "the agent on your end tracked you after you reunited with your squad. something of yours was bugged, they heard us that night."

how could he... most of your belongings were clothes, which you know for certain weren't bugged. the only other item that traveled home with you is your cellphone—

"shit," you mumble, practically tearing your vest pocket open and grabbing your phone. there's nothing obviously wrong with it at first glance, but once you pop the case off and check inside, your suspicions are confirmed.

there's a small tracking device flashing red at you, mocking you, and you rip it out before tossing it on the ground and stomping on it.

"he's heard everything," you say, twisting your boot to scatter the broken pieces. "fuck, if this gets out— i can explain this to my team and make do with the judgement, but if shepherd tells any of his friends in their cushy government positions, i'm dead."

makarov shifts, looking past you, but you don't even notice the action thanks to the adrenaline reflooding your system. "that would be an issue," he mutters, reaching for the holster at his hip. "i suppose i could protect you."

you snort, dragging your gaze from your boot to his face. "i'm not joining your side, even for this."

a thin string of red light shines from the darkness behind you, aimed at the back of your skull. makarov follows it to its source, all but ignoring your rejection, as his fingers wrap around the handle of his desert eagle.

a loud gunshot rings out, echoing against the walls. you instinctively reach for your stomach, preparing yourself for the pain you felt in that dream, body tensing up as it flies into survival mode.

the pain never comes. a heavy thump makes you turn, however, watching as a soldier collapses to the ground. unmarked uniform. one of the general’s men.

"shepherd has not earned your blood. if anyone is going to kill you, it will be me." makarov lowers his gun and meets your muddled gaze. "i suggest you reconsider my offer, petra, and give me a call when you make up your mind."

you’re left in that state as he sidesteps and saunters past you, seemingly disappearing into the darkness himself. you’re sure there’s another exit that you missed, one he’s taking to avoid running into your squad.

his offer. joining him for protection.

you'll never follow makarov or his ideals, much less join him for such a selfish reason. if you can kill shepherd, then you can destroy any evidence and get yourself out of this mess. with graves' cooperation and your team to help, that possibility is well within your reach. the only crime you'll have to answer for is severely disappointing your teammates, but they'll understand.

except, there's no guarantee that graves will help, and the rules of engagement prevent you from taking effective action against shepherd. he may be on the run, but he's an american general - killing him could land the one-four-one in hot water with the government.

that'll only lead to more restrictions, more eyes on you, more questions— there's nothing you can do to stop it.

you need someone without limits. someone the government doesn't have their hands on.

you need makarov.

a series of heavy footsteps alert you to a new presence, snapping you out of your trance. you lift your head in time to see price, graves, and the shadows appear from around a large pile of debris in the same direction that makarov originally approached you from.

"petra!" price calls out, jogging ahead of the group and stopping just in front of you. "you broken?" he asks, placing a firm hand on your shoulder and dragging his gaze across your form, searching for any injuries.

"no, i'm fine. nothing major." you mumble, struggling to find your voice all of a sudden. "just, uh..." you lose it again, your tongue darting out to nervously wet your dry lips.

"something wrong?" he murmurs, quiet enough that graves and his men can't hear from their positions farther away.

you can feel every beat of your heart, rapidly thumping against your ribs to the point of making your chest ache. only price can give you approval to do something so risky, so stupid. he'll understand. he knows the job isn't perfect, but you do what you have to do—

"i have something to confess, captain."

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[luci-is-a-bitch-x3x]

Obey Me! Leviathan, Satan & Asmo with a Goth MC! : basically my thoughts on what the brothers reactions would be, how they would handle having a goth partner, ext.

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Welcome back! (If you came from the other part lol) basically the same concept as before, so i hope you enjoy! Sorry if the characters are not as you think they would be. & I apologize in advance for poor jokes, bad grammar and terrible spelling. Nonetheless I hope it entertains you! ‹𝟹

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Goth MC! who does the make up, the white foundation the "crazy" eyeliner, the black/grey or dark color eyeshadow and blush. Classic black or red lipstick with matching nail polish on the Mc's fingers. The saggy looking hair that matches the make up, oh so well. Goth MC! Who has the unkept look, but at second glance you can tell their well kept. At least to some extent. The Mc has raggy, ripped looking outfit but upon closer inspection its clear the outfit is perfectly kept up with. Goth MC! Who has an over extent looking outfit, looking like rags on rags, and the Mc has a dead looking apperance appearing to have risen from the grave. Almost the perfect example of a goth baddie. How will the brothers react?

Leviathan

When Goth Mc shows up Levi immediately thinks they look like goth characters from his animes! Like the anime "I was a dog and then I licked a puddle, which transformed me into a famous Goth idol!" Levi's cheeks flushs as he stares at the Mc in awe. He clearly thinks that Goth MC is just like the goth characters in his animes. "All the Goth characters in animes are so badass!! I bet Mc is such a badass!" Levi almost gets a nose bleed but eventually skitters off to his room.

Levi is constantly thinking of Goth Mc, he has to distract himself with games and upcoming anime releases. Excuses. He finds himself unconsciously watching animes with characters that remind him of this Mc.

Levi tells Henry (the goldfish) all about Goth Mc. Henry is never not hearing about the Mc. The way their smile brightened the room even with the dark attire the MC was wearing.

Dating Levi would be fun and domestic. Levi likes horror games, he watches horror movies and animes. So if you're a goth who loves horror he's you're man. You guys can cuddle up and game or snack and watch something scary.

I feel like Levi would get to see a more casual goth side of the Mc. I mean why would you be gaming and chilling so much in the fancy goth attire? It takes a lot of effort and energy. Levi would inevitably see the more casual goth side. Maybe just a little eyeliner or something, casual still dark attire outfit, even without being all dolled up the Mc radiats goth energy. Or thats what Levi thinks. Levi thinks it's so cool that Mc dresses casual with him! The Mc obviously feels safe enough to not be all dolled up! They know he worships them no matter what they look like. They're the perfect 3D partner for him. His player 2, His Henry.

Now outfit wise, Levi would defiantly make this Mc wear some goth anime cosplays. He makes his cosplays himself the cosplays always fit perfectly. Of course he has to take pictures of Mc in their cosplays! But thats about it outfit wise, he keeps up with some trends but ultimately he doesnt go out so he doesn't feel the need to dress to impress. You should just stay in his room with him and his other Henry! (The goldfish lol)

Levi is quick to know everything about goth as soon as he met the Mc. If he didn't already know about goth lol. Levi will buy popular goth items off Akuzon and give them to the Mc. He'll have a huge blush and will be talking through his hand. And as an excuse he'll say he got it as a extra item. Instead of admitting he got it for them as a gift.

Satan

Goth Mc's arrival in The Devildom altered Satan's life. A bit dramatic dude. Satan sees the appeal of the aesthetic, even thinks its a bit of an artistic outlit. He immediately compares Mc to a black cat. Stating all the similarities in his head.

Just like with cats Satan is drawn to Goth Mc. Just something about their presence and apperance makes Satan happy and calm. One look at Mc and suddenly hes not as angry as before. He doesn't need to destroy the room like he previously thought he did.

Dating Satan is like a love story, for example, Satan took a really aesthetically pleasing photo of Goth Mc with a black cat, it's been his D.D.D's wallpaper ever since.

Satan enjoys reading mystery/crime books, when Goth Mc suggests books with horror or grim themes Satan was open to reading them! He enjoyed reading any books usually, and reading with Mc made the book even better! Chatting with Mc about the books after reading them made him feel content.

Satan is by no means out of date in style, but i don't think hes a fashion expert. He knows what he needs to so he can look presentable enough. Satan enjoys saving money so he'd much prefer going to cheaper shops, but he will get this Mc expenisve goth attire for special occasions.

Satan enjoys the Goth aesthetic and vibe, so he caught on quickly. He read a lot of books & asked a lot of questions. Satan will buy books that are on the darker side, just to read it with you. If Satan gets anything extra thats black cat themed, it immediately goes to Goth MC. As- "Your apperance is captivating, just because you're unique people frown upon and fear you, but I my dear, see past the dark complection, there's a soft creature waiting to be loved inside of you." -this is something he would write for a black cat, and then say to Mc, saying to Mc "well you remind me of a black cat and it fit you pretty well, did it not?" Satan would also pick up any cheap goth stuff he saw, no matter how random it may be for him to randomly giving the items to Mc unprompted, he gets it anyways, just wanting MC to know he was thinking of them. And that although he's cheap, he still loves them

You cant tell me Satan wouldn't fit perfectly with a goth partner. Man's would look perfect with a Goth partner. Just sounds so adorable. Perfect partner for him change my mind.

Asmo

When Asmo first sees Goth Mc he defiently squealed out loud. Man's lost his shit. "Mc is just so cute!!~" defiently took immediate inspiration from Goth Mc. Whether that inspired his next clothes design or just a new outfit look for himself is up to you.

Asmo just wants to eat Goth Mc up! (Metaphorically) Asmo adores Goth Mc's look. I feel like Lucifer had to stop Asmo from scooping Goth Mc into his arms from the second he sees Goth Mc. Asmo wants all the details. "Tell me what products you use Mc!! What clothes are you wearing?! How long does it take for you to get ready?!? You appreciate the art of make up as much as I do!!!" Asmo is over the moon. He loves having Goth Mc around. Mc wants to try a new goth look? Leave it to Asmo! Mc will let Asmo paint their nails or do their make up, as long as it matches their goth aesthetic? Asmo loves aesthetics! He'd never ruin Mc's aesthetic!

However Asmo would encourage Goth Mc to stretch their horizions. "Why not try the pink goth look Mc?? Oh, hun. You'll look gorgeous! Pink suits everyone!" Mc really doesnt want to try pink? That's okay! Asmo knows all the fashion choices out there! He knows all kind of Goth styles Mc can try out! Ultimately Asmo enjoys how Mc looks, even if he seems to encourage Mc to try other goth styles, he just wants Mc to be happy! Mc looks good in anything in his mind!

Dating Asmo is almost like being famous. Asmo wants to take all the pictures with Goth Mc to post to Devilgram. Asmo will proudly post Mc on his Devilgram. Someone comments on Mc's style? Aw, now that hater doesn't have a social life at all! "No silly! I didn't do anything!" He totally ruined their life over a "not my type of look" comment lol. Asmo likes to do matching outfits with Goth Mc, at least to some extent. "Lets wear the same accessories!! Ooo~ that lipstick looks nice Mc! Let me try it!" It may be small things like those, or Asmo may go with a full matching outfit. You never know with him. Mans is full of surprises.

Asmo will only do some things with Goth Mc, if its not apperance based, making outfits, doing make up, ect, Asmo isn't very interested. He likes to stay clean and not mess up his freshly done apperance! But! (In the game it says it somewhere) Asmo will occasionally not very often just when he feels like it watch horror movies with Mc, but the movies have to be psychological horror. Asmo doesn't like the gore ones. (Thats what it said in game at least)

Asmo knows all the best places to shop styles. While hes out shopping he'll definitely pick Mc up some goth stuff. If he sees it and thinks of Mc he obviously has to get it for them! Asmo is great with Goth gifts. He gets aesthetics better than any of his brothers. So every gift Mc receives from Asmo is one their guaranteed to love. It fits their aesthetic perfectly!

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Thats all for now babes!!! This is not proofread! I hope you enjoyed nonetheless! Let me know any thoughts or add ons you have in the comments of reblogs! The twins will be next, and then ill do the side characters. So stay tuned and stay healthy doves! ‹𝟹

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⟡˙⋆Masterlist⋆˙⟡

[asmallmoon333]

What do you think Light would be if not a detective?

I like to think Light would become an idol after getting scouted, then go into acting with the goal of using his newfound fame for activism. Very, ah, unlikely, I know. But its a fun thought 🙈

What's your non-detective career for Light?

Okay!! This is a fun question and I've been turning it around in my head for a couple days lol. Apologies in advance, my brain took this not as "what do I think/like" but as "how would I write this" and boom, I ended up overthinking it and making a couple of AUs....again. Hope it's at least amusing!

Actor AU. I actually really like this AU, entertainment-industry!Light sounds really fun, and I don't think your idea is unlikely! Now I don't see him as the sing-and-dance type of idol, but a model and then actor? Yup, I can see this, and I think it would be really fun to explore Light's propensity to live in an act, and make that not only his daily life, but also his career. So the way this AU would start is fairly simple: he'd be walking, and some famous person, probably Misa, would be doing a public shoot. The male lead doesn't show, so she'd point Light out in the crowd and make the crew add him to the shoot as her boyfriend. The photographer wouldn't protest cause Light is handsome, and MisaMisa is a beloved idol, so why not play along? Light would be annoyed but would also play along cause he's a 'nice guy' (and also cause they'd pay him, so easy money.) Plus they would promise not to reveal his face, which is key here. In Light's mind, it's an ego boost, so why not? But, of course, the pictures do get out, showing his face and 'devoted boyfriend act,' they're well received by the public. So now Misa won't shut up about him in interviews, starts to insist they're dating, and Light gets some small fame. He's the 'prince type,' and when Misa moves into acting movies, she wants him to have a role, and they give him something small. Light kinda doesn't want to, kinda does, but is mostly annoyed by the 'small role' thing and wants to show them he can do any 'stupid acting job.' And so he does do it, and plays the role very very well, and from there he gets popular. Light starts an acting career, he does it part-time alongside Uni (which is too easy for him, so he'd bored and has free time lol). The acting jobs also pay very well which is his main concern, since they'd help him get his own place. He also finds he doesn't hate it; it's more interesting than tutoring jobs at least. By this point, he's been typecast as the romantic male lead character or the second male lead, a prince type. Acting is easy for him, he knows what emotions to put on, and so the jobs are pretty easy for him while also building his fame. Eventually, he does this more full time as the roles get bigger, and as you said he also always speaks up for Just Causes in interviews. (to both build his reputation, but also to justify it to himself that he's going this for a 'good reason'). Light developed got a very clean public image, while in the background he's experienced enough shady things in the industry that he learns how to handle it and gets good at buring his opponents. He sees it as an interesting bonus to acting, lol. Now, here's where the AU gets fun; Light grows bored of generic romance movies, and eventually picks up more complicated scrips. Historical dramas, thrillers, etc. These are more challenging, more interesting, and he soon realizes he can slowly start letting his 'real' self out for the first time in his life, shocking the viewers with his 'realistic acting' in much darker media and roles. Then he'd revert to his good-and-humble prince self in public. He'll be known as a genius actor with a great personality. While internally, he'll also get catharsis by playing darker roles and exploring the emotions he was never able to in his daily life. The act becomes the truth, and the truth the act. It's a cool reversal! (Bonus points if L one day sees a darker movie of his and is watching very intently and goes "......he's not acting." And gets interested in Light. Boom, I shoved lawlight in there too!)

Politician AU Okay, now for a darker career path for Light, another AU that I really like to think about: Politician Light Yagami. But this one is actually not a 'If Light wasn't a detective' AU, it's one that takes place years in the future, after the detective bits. In this AU, Light did go to the NPA, climbed the ranks, and eventually he achieved his canon goal of being Director of the NPA. Probably in his 30s, a stupid young age, and everyone is in awe. And Light likes it for a while, he enjoys the power, but then he stats to slowly come to terms with the fact that crime is not the real enemy, its politics. That he can't fix the real problems just by getting rid of the symptoms (criminals) but that it's the sickness itself he has to eradicate. Light gets jaded over the years here, his 17-year-old naivety is gone, and he finds even the Director of the NPA has to bow down to other people (which he hates). But he tells himself it's cause he still doesn't have the power to enact real change. But, most characteristic of all? Light is bored, probably gets there within 3-5 years as the Director. It's boring now, he's reached the top, found it to be unsatisfying, so...now what? Another 20 years of this? Nope! Now, I don't know anything about the Japanese political system, but I know that Light Yagami, using his position as a political basis, would then run for some type of public office. He'd hand the NPA to a puppet he cultivated, and move on to more powerful positions, climbing higher and higher. His hands would get so dirty, and he'd do some truly horrific things, but in true Light fashion, he'd justify it as being 'for the greater good.' After all, the system is corrupt, and Light is "the only one who can fix it," and only by temporarily playing by their rules can he take charge. Or so he tells himself. But really, Light just lives for the thrill; the political enemies to outsmart, the people to set up, the 'bodies' to climb over, he lives on it, even while always telling himself it's for the greater good. And to his credit, he does make positive social changes (he needs social support in politics, after all) and he develops a great reputation in both his offices, and as his stint as head of the NPA (since crime went down in his hands.) People trust him, voters like him, and he looks great on a newspaper or magazine cover. He's also very clean politically, because no one can pin him down for anything. Only his fallen opponents know the truth, but even they doubt it sometimes. In this AU Light Yagami would climb to the greatest social position he could get in Japan....only to eventually realize that the victory of that bores him, too. So he'd have to come up with new goals, new methods, and maybe he'd even turn his eyes on neighbouring countries that are "chaotic" and "ruining his perfect vision of the world." (Let's squeeze L into the AU here, cause someone has to stop Light from starting World War 3.) Not sure how this would all end, but history would remember him as either a revolutionary, or a terrible dictator. The type of politician no one ever wants to see again.

And, well, there you go!! Two career paths that I can see Light pursuing, and best of all two stories that I think would be interesting to see unfold! Thank you for the fun question!

[lahooozaherr]

I Will Always Find You

Chapter 4

Word Count: 5k

Warnings: angst, fluff, yearning, pining, shooting a blaster with Mando (aaaaaay) vague description of dress on reader (listen, I said it was “traditional Naboo” dress but I don’t know if such thing exists I just love that dress Padme wears by the lake lol but I’m leaving it as vague as I can incase y’all want to imagine something else, I only describe having an open back) (wanted to give Mando some skin, ok), reader runs hand through hair and has strand brushed away but no actual description of hair, Din tries to not have sexy thoughts lol

MY WORKS ARE 18+ MINORS DNI. AGELESS/BLANK ACCOUNTS WILL BE BLOCKED.

My tag list (instructions & requirements)

Summary: You and the Mandalorian spend part of your “hooky” day relaxing in a place special to you. Later, he helps you get ready for the festival. Both of you are full of conflicting emotions as realizations surface and the end of the week looms.

A/N: Welp, this is getting done later than I intended. I recently visited my grandpa who is in the dying process. I had a good weekend with him and my family and tbh I thought I would be writing/reading in my spare time then but it didn’t end up happening, but that’s ok! I was able to come up with more things I wanted to add to it before so I hope everyone enjoys it. I promise we’re getting close to the smut lol I just have story building I gotta do. Also, I realized I already messed up the timeline I was trying to work with so look forward to me fixing that when it becomes more relevant. And by timeline I mean, it def takes more than a week between this and the flashback opening of the first chapter, so I’ll edit that. I’ve also been doing my best to leave reader and some other things as vague as I can but if that starts to sound weird pls tell me, I just want anyone reading to be able to see themselves in this. I also fixed the series master list banner since I kept have nagging feelings about the pictures I originally chose lol.

Song Inspo: Unfair by The Neighborhood

Inspo Playlist

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

Read it on AO3

Din only really has himself to blame for getting himself in this position, he tells himself.

He was almost immediately mesmerized by you, and he let his heart and not his mind take the reins. That was mistake number one.

He went from experiencing loss, trying (and failing) to cope with that grief, to here. With you. He knows he has to face his feelings, because meeting you has flipped his inner world upside down. 

Every night he leaves you, images of you replay at the forefront of his mind’s eye. At first he’d brushed it off, chalking this up to some playful banter with a bored princess. But then he entertained it, learned more about you, watched you, and found himself enchanted by you. 

Somehow you had made your way through the cracks of his armor. Not exactly his Beskar, but the one he built around his heart. 

He hasn’t slept much tonight, opting to use this time to reflect and at least try to gather himself. He can no longer ignore what you do to him. How the sound of your voice has become music to his ears. How your touch sends electricity throughout his body from your delicate squeezes in the spaces of his arm that are not covered in Beskar. The way your eyes almost always find his own, despite the helm covering.

When he saw you help that lost child, when you opened up to him about your own mourning and conflicted emotions about your position, he almost snapped. Something possessive, or maybe more so protective, wanted to wrap himself around you. Prevent you from having to do this anymore. He could tell you didn’t want this. Maybe you wouldn’t say it, and he couldn’t out loud, but he could feel it.

He doesn’t know what to do with his own life and hasn’t for a really long time. Now, he’s coming to terms with his feelings, and desire, for you. 

But the life he leads isn’t a life for you. Or at least, that’s what he tells himself. This life is dangerous…..and lonely. He knows he couldn’t ask you to become his just as much as you can’t, or won’t, abandon your position. It’s easier to accept that answer over the latter.

He’s let this go too far, but he can’t help it. You bring something out in him that he tried to forget he had. It’s like he simultaneously knows he can’t make you his, and that’s he’s too scared to. Which is saying a lot; a Mandalorian afraid? But not just over anything. Over experiencing that kind of love and then losing it. He can’t go through that, on top of the rest, it’s too much. 

Yet Din ignores his instincts and indulges in you. He wishes your affectionate glances were reserved for only him, and no one else. 

Catching you yesterday was almost the final straw, taking every fiber of his being to not rip away the garment bag that separated your bodies. His helmet picked up on the wild thrum of your heartbeat; and maybe he wasn’t certain how you felt but it had to mean something, right? Even if neither of you can say it. 

For now, he will force himself to settle for what he has with you until this job is done. 

—————————————————————————

“Mando?”

Din is wrenched out of his head, coming back to himself. Both of you are on a small boat steered by a droid, him across from you. He must have been lost in his thoughts on the short sail to the area you spoke of. 

You wave a hand across his helmet’s eye-line, “hey, are you in there?”

He cocks his helmet, turning back to you, “where else would I be?”

You let out an amused huff but your eyes search his helmet, concerned but observing. Returning your hand back to your lap, “is something wrong?”

“No, Cyare.”

Your face heats up, looking away quickly thinking he wouldn’t notice. It brings him instant satisfaction, the way he flusters you sometimes. The boat comes to a stop as you stand to gather the basket you brought with you. 

“One of these days, I’m going to find out what those names mean.”

Din carefully stands in the boat, stepping over the side to the dock as it approaches, “you can sure try.”

Although, the thought of you finding out has Din’s face heated, another moment to be thankful for the helmet. 

He steps up onto the dock, connected to the other side of the lake you departed from. An expansive field full of greenery and flowers, surrounded by a forest in the short distance. It was tranquil and private, just like you had described to him. 

“Isn’t it beautiful?” You remark, maneuvering your way out of the boat until his hand drops in front of you, offering help. You stop first, looking up to him to smile before taking it. His strong arm helps lift you out of the boat, effortlessly.

“I would come here to just be alone,” you continued on as you adjusted the basket and yourself. You decided on wearing a simple set of a tunic and leggings for this portion of the day, saying you’ll change later. The combination hugged your body’s curves in a way the dresses didn’t and Din certainly didn’t mind. 

He mentally scolds himself for wandering towards such thoughts. 

He follows you as you trek through the field, heading deeper towards trees that provide shade. Picking a spot, you drop the basket and plop down next to it. Sighing and stretching your legs before settling to lean against a tree, you close your eyes and inhale. Din lowers into the spot next to you, facing the view. 

Several quiet moments pass before you speak up again, “my mother found this place.” This caused Din to look at you, waiting for you to say more. You look into the sky, tightening your lips, not quite smiling and not frowning either.  

“It means a lot to you,” Din states. At this point he could tell how sentimental certain things were to you, he has very few things like that for himself. 

“It’s special to me, there’s a lot of good memories here. Time spent with her, many books….the first place I learned how to shoot a blaster.”

Din snorts before he realizes he’s even done it, you smile, raising an eyebrow at him. 

“You? You can shoot a blaster?” He teases, emphasizing the first ‘you’.

“Are you underestimating me, Mandalorian?” Batting your lashes at Din. He can hear his heartbeat in his helmet while trying to conjure an image of you, aiming a blaster in hand.

“No….” He trails off. Your eyes trained on him with a determined expression. “I just don’t expect a princess to know how to shoot.”

“Well Mando, it looks like there’s even more for you to discover about me.”

“Alright, prove it,” he shifts to stand. He offers his hand again and you take it, firmly. When you completely stand, you're closer than he had originally intended and he can feel the tense air between you. He brushes a thumb across your knuckles before letting go. 

You give him a sly grin while motioning your hand towards him, “alright, hand it over.”

“Hold on, let’s find a better spot.”

The two of you don’t stray too far, walking into the small forest behind the tree you were previously leaned up against. Din stops and points to a different tree just a few feet away, “hit the middle of that one.”

Usually, Din wouldn’t be so keen as to just hand anyone his weapons. But, you weren’t just anyone, were you? He sets the blaster in your hand, switching off the safety. 

“Thank you,” you mutter, situating the blaster in your dominant hand, with the other coming up to steady it. 

Raising your shoulders, you assume your stance and level the blaster for aiming. He watches from behind, arms folded and observant. So far he could say you’re doing everything you’re supposed to and is already impressed, not that that shows. 

Taking a deep breath through your mouth and out your nose, your supporting hand drops and your finger twitches on the trigger. In a split second, the blaster fire perfectly hits the middle of the tree. Lowering the blaster, you let out a “Hah!” You puff your chest with pride, looking back at Din for his reaction. 

If Din didn't think he was in trouble before, he definitely is now. He hadn’t realized just how attracted he would be to a trait like that in YOU, and suddenly the armor is too hot for him.

He almost can’t bring himself to say anything in response, it feels like his heart jumped into his throat. A self-satisfied look on your face as you set your other hand on your hip, “you seem…speechless? Hard to tell.”

You were right, and that was saying a lot for Din, considering he’s not much with words to begin with. He quietly clears his throat and reaches to take the blaster from your outstretched arm, “Count me impressed.”

You beamed, but this time it’s shy as you try to look away from him as he takes the blaster. He’d tell you that was cute if that wasn’t so out-of-character for him. 

“What made you take this up?” Din asks as you return to your spot on the grass. 

“Father said ‘pick a form of self defense’ and that was my choice,” you mimic your father’s voice and shrug. “I just happened to hit it off with blasters, and now I prefer them.” 

“But have you ever actually had to use one?”

“No. I guess, fortunately?”

A silence falls, you fidget with your hands as he settles next to you, once again. 

“I know that part isn’t impressive,” you add, dejectedly.

“It’s not bad. I’m glad you haven’t had to yet,” Din then turns his head towards you. “Any more surprises?”

Your lips curl at the edges, biting your lip and stifling a giggle, “for now.” You wink at him and turn to dig through the basket you brought with, setting out various fruits. 

Din’s eyes focus on the food but says nothing. 

“Don’t worry,” you assure him, while taking a bite out of one you’d chosen. “It’s just in case you want it. I felt rude not at least trying, I can give you privacy if needed.”

Din mulls the thought in his head for minutes, considering the setting. He feels a twinge in his stomach, anxiety coming up as he shoves it back down. He’s grateful for how understanding you are when it comes to his boundaries. He hasn’t been given a lot of that when it comes to his helmet and his creed. The galaxy so far has insistently been against him when it comes to those. 

“I appreciate it,” he says. 

—————————————————————————

You choose for today, and just today, you’ll pretend. Pretend your obligations don’t exist, that you’re not a princess. That you’re just you, someone capable of being so much more than what she’s just been slated in life. Capable of being more with Mando. 

That’s when the realization finally sets in, just how deeply you’ve found yourself in love with him. You realize it’s only been several days since you’ve met him, you haven’t even seen his face! But that didn’t matter to you, you have never felt so drawn to and comfortable with someone before in your life. 

You also can’t say you didn’t let it happen, and it’s tragic almost. It didn’t help that the two of you had almost immediately fell into a rhythm together. Two stars in sync with each other’s gravitational pull, becoming a careful dance.

You can’t be with him, and he can’t be with you. But that’s assuming he feels the same way, and that you’re not really sure of. It might be better to not know. You can’t abandon your life, and he shouldn’t have to worry about you.

It hurts immensely. 

“Here, I’ll do this,” you say, shifting your body to sit back to back with him. “I can’t see you this way, and I won’t look.” 

Mando says nothing at first, visor trained on the spread you’d set out. His lack of response causes you to feel insecure. 

“I’m sorry, maybe that’s too much-“

“No. You’re fine. It works.”

You give him a small nod before turning back to face away from him. You focus your eyes on anything else; trees, hills, the sky. You hear a hiss escape from where you feel him shift to lift his helmet and your heart stops. How would it be to see that face? But you would never betray that trust he’s just displayed. 

Mando doesn’t completely remove the helmet, just lifting it enough to take bites of the fruit you’ve laid out. Fair enough, though. Whatever works for him and makes him feel most comfortable is more important to you. 

Moment’s of peaceful silence pass as you take in the sounds and scenery around you while partaking in some of the fruit you snagged. Beautiful, lush green forest and fields, a clear and beautiful sky, the silent chewing from your armored companion. You wish you could live in this moment forever.

Reality finds ways to drift back into your thoughts though, always somewhat present and hard to escape. You let out a quiet sigh, leaning your back against his. You feel him tense up, subtly. But before you can think twice about it, he relaxes back into it, giving you a small amount of physical contact. You’re relieved he allows you this.

‘I’m glad we did this,” you break the silence. “I needed a break, as brief as it may be.”

“Thank you for including me,” he says in his unfiltered voice, helmet still lifted. Your heart in your chest speeds up from hearing it. As much as you love his voice with the modulator, the actual, naked sound is music to your ears. His voice is still low but with a rich timbre. 

Worrying your bottom lip, you lean your head back onto his shoulder. He allows for that as well, maybe indulging you. It’s comforting, but also sad. 

“There’s a chance I could not become a senator, like my father.”

Mando stills, “Is that so?”

“Sort of,” you begin to explain. “We still have democratic elections. There’s a possibility of me not being elected.”

Mando gives a low hum, “What would you do then?”

A million ideas including him run through your mind at that question, but you don’t say. “Technically I’d still be serving in some capacity, it’s how our family has always worked.” Part of you had hoped he'd have something to offer, more to say to that.

It’s quiet again, this time more somber. You’d been thinking about this detail for a while, and it still felt like no way out, and you feel ashamed for even trying to look for one. Mando doesn’t respond yet, replacing his helmet to its normal position. 

You sit up and turn back to him, looking into his visor. Helmet already trained on you. 

“Thank you,” he all but whispers, barely picked up by the modulator. You give him a gentle smile in response, “Of course.”

After the afternoon had worn on some more, and some comfortable quiet moments had passed as the two of you relaxed together, you signaled it was time to go. 

Your heart tightens in your chest at the thought of every minute passing, becoming less and less time with him. You’ve tried hard to not focus on that, nor show that emotion. You want to enjoy the time you have left.

—————————————————————————

You and Din return to your suite at the palace, stopping just before the door. He assumes his regular place in front, waiting to watch you disappear inside for the time being. 

But you don’t go inside, you stop just at the threshold. You stop in your tracks, seemingly contemplating something. You turn back to him, avoiding his gaze but also not as you start to run a hand through your hair. 

“You can come in to wait for me…..if you want.” 

It’s silent again, but tense. Din can feel his heart in his throat now, mouth dry as he tries to swallow it back down. His resolve crumbles enough for him to step forward, towards you. In his usual fashion, saying nothing, he strides past you into your living space. You step to the side to allow him in and he nods to you on the way. 

Upon entering your temporary living space, he takes in the details of proof that you’ve been there. One side of the room is a luxurious, wide bed with accompanying side tables, a couch sits at the end of the bed. Across the room from there is a table with books, a rack of clothing, a vanity and dressing screen for your privacy. 

“The couch is probably the most comfortable,” you mention as you saunter past him. “Make yourself at home.”

Din does so, looking out-of-place as he cautiously sits in the middle of the soft couch. Posture straight and gaited, he looks as stiff as he feels. He is painfully aware of the effect of the whole situation on the inside of his flight suit. It’s not that he’s uncomfortable, he just never expected to be in such a private setting with you.

It’s been too long since he’s felt this kind of need and genuine desire, and that also scares him. He feels like a doomed man, mentally cursing to himself that if only you had met under different circumstances. 

You press a button on a panel on the wall near the dressing screen and all lighting in the room fades to a softer, yellow hue. You step behind the screen, bending to start removing your shoes. 

Din has to suppress the almost audible gulping sound that leaves him when he realizes he can see your silhouette through the dressing screen. He doesn’t know if you know he can see you like this and is too stunned to even say. 

“I’m happy we happen to be here right as this festival is happening,” you state. “I haven’t been to it since I was a teenager.”

He watches your shadow begin to undress, slowly peeling off your layers one by one until you’re in your underwear. Your hands move to undo the clasp on your chest band, causing an audible ‘snap’ noise. You move sideways, emphasizing a perfect outline of your front and back. He imagines your breasts must be as soft and enticing from their outline in the shadow. 

He feels a twitch in his flight suit pants then immediately seeks to contain that by resting his ankle on his knee, bouncing it repetitively to keep himself ‘busy’. He almost jumps out of his skin as you walk to the edge of the screen, only to stop just before the end and reach your hand and naked arm to the rack where the garment bag you picked up yesterday hung, plucking it.

It’s certainly not out of place for him to have nothing to say, because at the moment he can’t even muster a word. He’s way too distracted now and hopes you’re not looking for a response.

You maneuver yourself into the dress, swaying your hips side to side to slide the fabric over your body. Din unconsciously flexes his hands, imagining how those hips would feel beneath them. 

When you finish fitting the dress onto yourself, you emerge from behind the screen. When you notice him, your expression is curious and he fears he’s been caught until you ask, “are you ok?”

Din crosses his arms and stands abruptly, guarding the subtle expressions of his body language as much as he can. Give offers a curt, “Yes.” He immediately notices how flattering the dress is on you, laying perfectly with your back being the most exposed. 

You narrow your eyes at him briefly and turn to seat yourself at your vanity. Din takes the opportunity to roam the small space, observing the table of books and reading material from the event that had been unceremoniously placed there. 

You adjust yourself in the mirror of your vanity, fixing your hair. You look back at yourself with a determined look, twisting your arms to place your hair where you need it. Din watches your meticulous routine from behind, eyes flitting between your actions and yourself in the mirror. You can see him in the reflection as you work. 

“It won't be too long, but it’s a process,” you murmur, moving to grab various pieces of makeup to apply. 

Din can barely manage to offer any words as he imagines what it would be like to casually approach you, placing reverent kisses on the back of your neck and shoulders. 

“Don’t worry about me,” he finally says. 

You shoot him a questioning look where you see him in the reflection of the mirror, “are you sure you’re alright?”

Din forces himself to visibly relax, it’s uncanny how well you’ve been able to pick up on his mannerisms since you’ve met, “everything is good with me.” He feels like he sounds unconvincing and your lingering eyes in the mirror don’t help. You shrug and return to your tasks.

That companionable silence has returned as Din watches you apply your makeup, you mutter to yourself absentmindedly here and there as you move to each next piece. Some time passes before you set down your items and pat your lap, giving yourself a last look over in the mirror before standing. 

The way you look takes his breath away. He was almost shocked when he first saw how casual you’d chosen to be today but loved it all the same. He loved seeing another side of you and right now is no exception either. He felt domestic just from being allowed to watch you put yourself together. 

He wants to take you apart. 

—————————————————————————

“Well?” You query Mando as you turn side to side to get a good look over yourself in the mirror. “Do I look alright?”

He’s paused then steps closer behind you, looming over your shoulder at your reflection, you look at him. You feel your heart rate quicken under what feels like his eyes raking over you. It takes everything in you to resist the urge to turn into him and wrap your arms around his neck.

“Beautiful,” he offers the one-worded response, but that's all that needs to be said. 

You turn to him, smiling, staving off a heat that threatens to take over your cheeks, “thank you.” He cocks his helm to the side in response. 

You stride past him, noticing his helmet visibly follow. You sway your hips ever so slightly as his visor scans you up and down. Getting closer to your door, you look back and flash him a grin and gesture with a nod, “I saw that.”

���No you didn’t,” he throws back at you, sarcastically. You snicker in response, “Come on, shiny man.”

Mando stalks towards you and stifles a chuckle, “I get a nickname too?”

“I tried, not sure how I feel about that one.”

“Not as fun as mine, mesh’la.”

—————————————————————————

The festival is bustling, vendors sell their wares and trinkets while others offer delicious and exotic street foods. There are large displays of flowers and accompanying decorations across the town and performers scattered entertaining the masses. 

You point out these things to Mando as you stroll through, your hand back in its place in the crook of his elbow. He doesn’t have much to say but you know he’s invested in your excitement and what you say. 

Here and there you'd explain the meaning behind certain displays and performances to educate him. You figure you can do the same for him as he’s done for you when he’d allowed you to poke at him about Mandalorian customs. You’d share similar traditions from your own planet and how they coincide with each other. 

You tried your best to be in the present and stop worrying about tomorrow, when you’ll inevitably have to say goodbye to the Mandalorian. You’re going to miss the camaraderie the two of you had unknowingly built together in the short amount of days. You’ve never found someone so in sync with you. 

Regardless if he has similar feelings, it’s heartbreaking all the same. It’s too scary at this point to ask. If you’ve learned anything about him this past week, it’s that his actions speak louder than his words. Although it seems he reserves many of those words and actions just for you. A self-indulgent thought you keep tucked in your heart. 

Day slowly turns into night, the sun giving way to a beautiful, pink setting in the sky. You finish up a snack you’d bought earlier as you nod at Mando, “fireworks should be soon, we should find a good spot.”

“Fireworks, huh? They really go all-out here.”

“It’s Naboo,” you laugh. “What do you expect?” 

“Do you have a spot for that too?”

You scoff in response, “of course I do.”

And that you did. It’s a bold move, but you offer him your hand, “follow me.” He takes your smaller hand in his gloved one, and it feels warm. Safe. 

You lead him along, navigating through other festival-goers until you find yourself in front of part of the forest that lines the city. He doesn’t question it though, and you bring yourselves to a small path in. When you’ve arrived, you’re at a small clearing on the side of the larger lake the show will display over. 

“I never doubted you,” he proclaims. You feel like you can ‘hear’ a smile in his tone. You turn your nose up with a ‘hmm!’. You hear a faint chuckle that barely escapes his helmet’s modulator. 

The sun is finally set, giving way to a beautiful, clear night sky. You take in a deep breath of air and admire it, smiling to yourself. You look down and notice he’s still holding your hand. You don’t say anything or move it, for fear of ending the small contact. He doesn’t try to break it up either. 

One by one, lights lift into the sky and explode. The fireworks are bright and loud and your spot is the perfect and more private place to view them. You instantly become entranced in them, their reflections flash in your eyes.

You suddenly feel a familiar shift in energy, one that you’ve been feeling all week. From the times you feel his eyes on you for long periods of time. Sometimes even when his helmet isn’t exactly pointed towards you. A feeling almost hard to explain, you just know. But you don’t turn to face him just yet, preening under what feels like his warm gaze, while you can. These last few moments are difficult to approach, no matter how hard you shove back the emotions.  

What will it be like after tomorrow? Will you feel a hole in your chest? A part of your heart that knows and wishes to know him that will forever be empty? Will you always spend the rest of your life asking “what if”?

You finally turn to him and he does the same. But there are no words. You’re both silent, save for the sounds of fireworks in the background. You look into his visor and admire the reflection of the bright, colorful explosions that play out on his helmet. It’s beautiful. 

A tension builds between you, again. But what could be said? It’s too painful to say out loud. You’ll have to speak through your actions, just as he does. 

You slowly lift the hand you’re still holding, cautiously bringing it to place over your chest where your heart pounds. You fear it might be too much when his hand stills, but then relaxes in place underneath yours. You just want him to feel your heartbeat, and he acquiesces. 

But he surprises you again, after a moment passes, holding his hand over your heart. He brings his other hand up to remove his glove, carefully plucking from his fore and middle finger, sliding it off then placing it in his pocket. 

With his now bare hand, he gently tucks a loose strand of your hair behind your ear. Instead of bringing his hand back, he caresses the side of your face. You can feel him hesitate at first, hovering slightly above your cheek, seeking silent permission. You oblige by nuzzling into his palm, relishing the feeling of his bare skin on yours.

The setting is calm but the storm in your chest is otherwise and you wish you could remain like this. Tomorrow is coming too soon, it’s too much. But you know, and he knows. 

When the show ends, the two of you remain that way for a short while after. You can’t bring yourself to end it any sooner but after some time, you decide to rip off the bandaid. When you slightly move from his hand, he returns it to himself but without putting the glove back on. 

When you return to your room, after a solemn and quiet walk back, you swear you can still feel the warmth of his skin on yours. It’s all he can give right now and you’ll hold it dear to you. 

—————————————————————————

Settling down for the night, you walk around the room to fade the lights back to the yellow hue. You sit on the couch as you read the last of a book you’ve had your nose in for the last hour. You glance up, down, then quickly back up again when you notice the silhouetted shape of something from behind your dressing screen. 

Hurriedly putting the book down, you set for the screen to investigate. Behind it is the pile of clothes and one of your suitcases that had made up the shape. You realize, to your mortification, that anything behind casts a shadow than can be seen.

That means. That earlier. That he could. He could see- Oh MAKER. 

Mando'a Translated:

Mesh'la = Beautiful

Cyare = Sweetheart

@dindjarinsmut @impala1967666 @kittenlittle24 @angel-with-a-heart @leithatnight @i-usually-main-bards-tho @dins-riduur-anthe @fatima-marisa @lalalalemonade11 @n7cje

Next Chapter

[teddywrites0]

𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐓𝐨𝐨 𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐥 (𝐜.𝐲)

“𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐫, 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞, 𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥.“

summary: the stages of trying to get over your ex but everything reminds you of him. you remember it all too well. (ex!yeonjun fem!reader, hella angst, exes to lovers?, obvi based on the ts song because she is mother.)

warnings: cursing, angst, lmk if i missed any (:

w/c: 2.0k

a/n: mostly written cuz i miss my ex lol.

©teddywrites0 don’t repost, or translate my works! reblogs are appreciated (:

memories coursed through your veins like blood after a long work out. you felt overwhelmingly warm, an ice pack to your forehead as hot tears spilled down your cheeks. despite laying in a painfully cold bed that only served as a reminder that he was no longer there; your skin was on fire. you rubbed your eyes through choked sobs, the black of your mascara painting your fingertips. a few weeks prior you had come home from work to a short, vague, note on the dining table; along with a box of your belongings. including polaroids, movie tickets, and love letters you had written months ago. the box lay untouched on the table still, you hadn’t gotten out of bed besides going to work. nothing was more painful than walking into an empty apartment that was once filled with so much love. he didn’t even give you a flat out reason, sure you had your arguments once and a while, it’s normal; but his handwriting burned into your mind like a brand. “i can’t do this anymore, i hope you understand.” but you didn’t understand. you didn’t understand why he’d up and leave without a trace. had he found someone new? you didn’t even want to think about that. the only thing you could do was remember.

i walked through the door with you, the air was cold, but something bout it felt like home somehow.

yeonjun’s mother had moved out into the country side. the october air and autumn leaves made everything all the more serene. the drive was around three hours, and he made sure it was entertaining. blasting all of your favorite songs and singing along with you even if he didn’t know the words. you laughed at his mumbling to which he pouted and said, “we have different taste, at least i’m trying.” he couldn’t keep a straight face, your smile and giggles were enough to make him smile as well. he couldn’t help but stare at you, glancing at the road every few seconds. “pay attention there’s a red light coming up.” you said playfully shoving his shoulder. he chuckled and shook his head, returning his attention to the road in front of him. “you think she’ll like her house warming gift?” you asked for the fifth time. “of course she will. you being there is enough, you’re like the daughter she never had.” you smiled to yourself at his words. nothing felt better than knowing his mother loved you, knowing she approved. the breeze from the front door opening ran a chill down your spine. you slid your shoes off and hung your scarf on a nearby coat rack. she was quick to greet you both, more specifically pulling you into a hug first. “oh how was the drive dear? have you eaten?” you smiled and nodded, “i’m good mom thanks for asking.” yeonjun said sarcastically. she chuckled and pulled him into an even tighter hug. “we have something for you.” you said holding out a gift bag. yeonjun rolled the suitcases to the guest room while his mother led you to the dining room. “oh it’s beautiful, you shouldn’t have.” she held up the ceramic vase in awe. she hugged you again, and then a look of realization washed over her face. she scurried toward what you assumed was her bedroom and as she emerged with a book of some sorts, yeonjun came to join you. “i found it while i was unpacking.” it was a photo album, a picture of baby yeonjun on the front.

photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red. you used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin sized bed.

his ears and cheeks flushed red in embarrassment. “oh no.” he mumbled. she flipped through the pages, every picture was in order of age. it was like watching him age through each photo. “this is one of my favorites.” she pointed to a little yeonjun holding a soccer ball. “look at my goofy smile.” you rubbed his shoulder reassuringly. you couldn’t help but feel endeared, looking at these pictures helped you fully realize why his mother had gifted him the nickname ‘healing.’ every lost-tooth smile made you feel warm, just as his smile does now. she flipped the page and a picture of him giving the camera a stank eye caught your attention. you stifled a laugh, “what made you so angry jjunnie?” his eyes brightened with a memory, “it was summer and it was so hot outside i didn’t even want to play. i remember mom calling my name and crying immediately after the picture was taken.” he chuckled slightly after finishing his sentence. “you were such a sassy kid.” his mother said looking through the photos with stars in her eyes. you didn’t feel awkward, you felt warm, and at home. “just you wait, your children will be just as sassy.” she said as she closed the album. your cheeks felt warm with the thought of a future with yeonjun. he pulled you to his side and planted a kiss to your head. “can’t wait.” he whispered into your hair.

here we are again in the middle of the night, we’re dancing ‘round the kitchen in the refrigerator light.

in november, late nights in the apartment weren’t abnormal. you’d light your favorite candles and drink hot chocolate while watching classic romance movies you had to convince him to sit through. the ending credits of the notebook on the tv and the faint sounds of him sniffling. “are you crying?” you asked looking up at him with an accomplished smirk. “no the suns just really bright.” he said wiping his eyes. “it’s okay to cry jjunnie, besides its eleven at night. the sun isn’t out.” you said with a soft giggle. you sat up from where you had been nuzzled to his chest. you held his face in your hands and kissed his tear stained cheeks repeatedly, when he began to laugh you stopped. “i’m going to grab something from the kitchen, do you want anything?” you asked still rubbing your thumb over his cheek. “i’ll be alright, hurry back tho.” you chuckled and planted a chaste kiss to his lips before heading into the kitchen. you opened the fridge and just as you grabbed a water bottle you felt a pair of slender arms wrapping around your waist. “you were taking too long.” he whispered into your neck. you smiled softly, “it’s been five seconds.” you rubbed patterns on his hand that rested across your stomach. “dance with me.” he said turning you to face him. you furrowed your eyebrows, “there’s no music.” he rolled his eyes and spun you around suddenly, pulling you to his chest administering a laugh out of you. “we don’t need it.” he swayed you around, the only light filling the room spilled from the refrigerator. he pulled you closer to his chest forcing you to follow his lead. “we’re letting the cold out.” you mumbled into his chest. “don’t be a kill joy.” he said teasingly.

maybe we got lost in translation, maybe i asked for too much, but maybe this thing was a masterpiece till you tore it all up.

replaying everything in your mind only made you cry harder, louder. you didn’t have the mind to worry about what your neighbors would think. “what did i do? please.. just- just tell me what i did.” you said into the empty bedroom. your eyes stung, and your lungs burned. it was like the universe placed you into your own personal hell. the wind outside blew louder, frost coating your window. it was almost the end of january by now, and it was so enthralling how quick it became your least favorite month. how could he go from holding you close in your shared kitchen to leaving just two months later? you couldn’t wrap your head around it. it’s like once winter hit a flip switched and he didn’t love you anymore. you clung to the sleeves of your sweater, you never could’ve imagined you’d be in this state right now. your phone began to ring, blaring through your dimly lit bedroom. “who in gods green earth could be calling at this time of night?” you shouted. you didn’t even check the contact, just clicked the button on the side to decline the call, but it rung again. you groaned and rolled over, turning it face up just to feel a burn in your throat and an uneasy feeling in your stomach.

you call me up again just to break me like a promise. so casually cruel in the name of being honest.

you answered quickly, thinking it was too good to be true. “y-yeonjun?” your voice was shaky, he must’ve called by mistake, right? “y/n? fuck.. i need to talk to you.” his voice was equally as shaky, sounding almost hoarse. you sat up quickly, ice pack falling onto your lap, your eyes wide. you suddenly felt angry, you couldn’t even cry anymore. “what could there possibly be to talk about?” you asked sourly. you wanted to shout at him, scream and ask, ‘why?’ in this moment it felt like time was paused, you didn’t hear the raging snow storm outside, just the faint breaths on the other side of the phone. “i’m not myself without you.. and i know it was my doing and god do i regret it.” your jaw went slack, “are you drunk?” you didn’t mean to sound so accusatory. “no, no i’m not. i just keep thinking about everything, and my mom keeps asking about you. shit i didn’t even tell her, she’d scold me into tomorrow.” he chuckled nervously awaiting a response. “then why?” your voice trembled, and just as quick as the tears stopped they started again. “it’s not simple-“ — “so make it simple!” you shouted. you quickly covered your mouth with your hand. he sighed, “i loved you too much for my own good, and it scared me. i became too aware of my mistakes and i worried you’d leave because..” his voice began to break up, he was crying. “because i couldn’t be perfect for you.” your expression softened, you knew deep down he didn’t mean to hurt you. “people make mistakes… it’s all apart of being human.” you said softly, “i never expected you to be perfect.” you whispered the last sentence almost like you were thinking out loud. “can i apologize in person? i know it’s late but im not going to apologize over the phone.” you hesitated, it had been nearly a month why now? “i’ll meet you outside.” you hung up, not wanting to negotiate where to meet, if worse comes to worse you’ll be able to retreat back inside your apartment right away.

but you keep my old scarf, from that very first week. cause it reminds you of innocence, and it smells like me.

you sat patiently on the steps of your buildings entrance. hugging your coat around your torso tightly. you didn’t bother to fix your appearance, it’s nothing he hadn’t seen before. your cheeks were red with the cold nipping at them. you looked to the left and to the right a few times, nerves on edge. you saw a speck of red in the distance, and as his familiar figure approached you recognize the scarf you had left at his mothers all those months ago. you stood up slowly, arms crossed. seeing his face again wasn’t something you expected when you awoke this morning. he stopped, standing a few feet away from you, his hands in his pockets. his eyes were red and puffy, you could tell he had been crying and hadn’t slept. he stepped closer cautiously, and subconsciously you moved forward too. you were inches away from each other, he lifted his hand and carefully swiped a tear from your cheek that you didn’t realize had fell. “i’m sorry. so incredibly sorry.” you looked up at him with an indifferent expression. “im sorry for not talking to you about how i felt, im sorry for leaving without a proper reason.” your expression softened, your next few words falling from your tongue quietly, “do you remember?” he nodded, “all too well.”

[you-hate-time-travel]

tell me about hb i know he’s yuor fav :3

HELLO HI

this ask (like every other ask) is much appreciated!!! hi!!!

Anyways. GET READY FOR SOME ENTIRELY USELESS PICTURES/DIALOGUE OF THE HBs! There's. Not much to say about him/them. Sorry lol (some text italicized and/or coloured!)

Here's some Brutes i screenshotted from [S] WV?: Rise up! They're nothing special, other than that theyre some of the few glimpses we get of the non-Boxcars HBs. World's only Brute fan signing up for duty. Also check out those fuckin' chompers! Jeez!!!

Alas, poor Brute! I knew him, Droll.

Here's some dialogue that gives us a pretty nice picture of how he interacts with people.

(page 1254)

(boxcars' dialogue highlighted in red.)

You tell Slick to get his scrawny ass to the vault. It's goddamn bedlam down here. You tell him you asked Deuce for backup but surprise surprise he's nowhere to be found. Big surprise, you tell him. You tell him that was sarcasm. He says he knows.

This single interaction is so great. The man tries and fails to make a joke. Very fun

How about some... More dialogue! Yay! This one's a fair bit more serious. And what people think of him!

(page 4599)

(tumblr's colours are a bit lacking. Dignitary in orange, Jack in purple. Halloween season is approaching, after all.)

He says one of the brats staged a little rebellion on the moon. Stuck the Brute's head on a pike for all to see. Real black eye for the kingdom and the Condesce. Press is going nuts with it. Wait. The Brute's dead, you say? He says yes. Dammit. He was one of your best agents. You never really cared for the guy but you admired his brutality. We all did sir, he says. This is getting personal you say. What's the status on these little shits. Where are they now?

... Et cetera. This really does sound like neither of them give too much of a shit about him as a person. It's... a little funny, to me. Once again, Love these assholes! They kinda hate eachothers guts! ...Also, apparently, Brute was a really good agent. The brutes we met had a bit of a tendency to get fucked up by kids, fathers and mailwomen, though.

Pictured: Kids and fathers. You already saw the mailwomen.

And, for the final, most important little... Trivia/image/whatever thing...

(page 1265)

Here's him with a minigun.

I'm not much of a word wizard, but i do hope this was at least a little educating/entertaining. Edutaining. I spent way too much time on this. Bye!

[mothwingwritings]

I hope I’m not the only one here on your blog just for the Tokyo revengers content because I never watched Baki should i thought??

I have been very Baki focused as of late, huh? ^^; You are def not the only TokRev fan though, I assure you!  My first really sizable chunk of followers came from my Taiju fic, and though I have been slacking a bit on posting anything TokRev related, I promise you much more is planned/being written currentl. A large chunk of bigger fics I am working on are actually mostly TokRev, I just wanted a lil break and so I focused on smaller stuff for a bit, and pretty much all of that happened to be Baki.

Now, as for if you should watch Baki…

Short answer: Yes!  :D

Thoughtful answer: I think Baki is a very interesting take on the fighting genre, and I do highly recommend it. The saga of the Hanma family is as engrossing as it is entertaining, and there is a colorful cast of characters that support the series that you can’t help but love, hate, or love to hate. I have been kind of waiting for a Baki renaissance for a while now-I feel like other than in Japan, it really isn’t a super popular series and that’s a bit of a shame because it truly is an entertaining watch/read. The Netflix adaptation I think has helped the series a lot (and we are all grateful for it, to see our lovely boys animated so beautifully :)) and put it on the map for newer audiences to enjoy, but I definitely recommend the manga too. It’s a pretty fast read because a large chunk of it is action, but it’s pretty cool to see how Itagaki’s art has changed over the years and also how he has grown and changed as a story teller. Earlier Baki is much different than newer Baki, and some of the characters feel a bit foreign when you go back and reread some of the earlier stuff after being immersed in the newer content.

 Baki also has some very bizarre and downright comical aspects as well that kind of put it on par with JJBA  while making it very charming. The mangaka def adds some quirky flairs to his story telling, which while sometimes I can get a little annoyed/bored/confused with them, I feel like overall they make the experience of watching/reading the series its own unique and fun experience.

And if you love delinquents, Kaoru Hanayama is like… one of the best and coolest delinquents. If you put that man in Toman he would be running the whole gang within days and 90% of the bullshit everyone had to go through in Tokrev probs would have been resolved fairly quickly, if it even happened at all. This man would grind Kisaki to paste in the blink of an eye and I would pay to see it happen. :)

THAT ALL BEING SAID: Not everyone likes Baki, and that’s fine too. I know personally a lot of people are turned off by the art/how the characters look and honestly… That’s valid lol. I remember I once showed my friend a picture of Biscuit and her direct response was “Why does he look like he’s made out of balloons, like a clown constructed him?” LOOOL and often times if my friends mention weird body proportions in comics/manga someone inevitable asks when I am gonna chime in with a Baki manga panel. ^^;  Most of the rest of my friends don’t really have any desire to partake in it though, and a few that have just really weren’t in to it. It’s very heavy on fighting and martial arts, and though the fighting is rather fantastical in a lot of cases, it (usually) doesn’t have supernatural elements or magic involved. So if that seems kind of bleh to you, you may want to avoid it.

Horny answer: Incredibly sexy men who are at least half naked a large majority of the time beating the shit out of each other is very fun, nice, and fulfilling to watch. :)

So I say give it a try if you are interested at all. At the very least, some of the fics on here may make a little more sense.

REGARDLESS THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE!!! Please stay tuned for more TokRev in the future, I have at least one more alphabet ask that is for a Tokrev chara so that may be the first thing I post, but bigger stuff is coming soon too~ <3

[potential-fate]

Get to know you- Sims Style

I was tagged by @simbury

What’s your favorite Sims death? -- I find it incredibly entertaining that sims can spontaneously combust if they get too warm.

Alpha CC or Maxis Match? -- mix, but ig it leans towards realism nowadays.

Do you cheat your sims weight? -- not that I can think of. sometimes if I am shooting a specific scene and they weren't that shape at the time. but not during gameplay.

Do you move objects? -- absolutely. I'm incapable of decorating without moveobjects on honestly.

Favorite Mod? -- uhm... I guess the 3t2 traits project or ACR/Romantic Standards.

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack? -- I have been playing ts2 since it literally came out, so my first ep was whichever one came out first. I think that was Uni? but in spirit of the question, for sims 4 I only bothered downloading the game when they came out with cottage living lol.

Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing? -- aLIVE. my brain always said essentially like a movie set "and we're live!" so.

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? -- Evren Thorne (who you're more likely to see in @luverofralts or @nappe-plays-the-sims game than mine) because he's not story relevant yet, or (much to everyone's chagrin) Callum

Have you made a simself? -- at some point far in the past, yes. I do not have that sim anymore, and I probably wouldn't do it again, but yk. I was also 11 when I started playing this game, so of course I made a digital barbie of myself. (not to say it's childish to do in and of itself, but that it's definitely something that every child tends to do)

Which is your favorite EA hair color? -- since ts2 only has 4, I'm going to assume this was more ts4 centric. in which case I like the neutral blonde/light blonde colors (the two that are less yellow)

Favorite EA hair? -- eh. for ts2 I wouldn't use any of them. for ts4... the mullet thing from werewolves? ig.

Favorite life stage? -- teens or young adults. (I think I may be the only person I know how actively likes Uni for ts2 the most lmao)

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? -- oh. both. depends on my mood.

Are you a CC creator? -- yeeeup. recreationally though. (read: with no real consistency.)

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad? -- I feel like I do lmao. I at least hope they feel the same LOL.

Do you have any sims merch? -- I now have a gameplay guide for the original Sims game lol. but I think that's all I own.

Do you have a YouTube for sims? -- nope. I uh... don't like watching gameplay videos, and sims machinema is way too time consuming to make so I do not.

How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing? -- oh gosh. I was one of those edgy emo kids so it was a lot of grunge and dyed hair and bright makeup. I've honestly been leaning a bit more towards that style again though so....

Who’s your favorite CC creator? -- depends on what I'm looking for. tbh a LOT of the CC I have now is older stuff that I just still like. but anyone who isn't exclusively making 4t2 stuff is probably someone I've downloaded from.

How long have you had Simblr? -- technically this blog since January 1st 2020. that being said, I moved from LJ to simblr in like.... idk, 2012? whenever that great migration happened.

How do you edit your pictures? -- a lot of photoshop. color correction, a slight film grain at the very least. most times I also do aesthetic edits to hide clipping, and add painted hair strands nowadays. if I can't get an emotion right for a screenshot, I edit those too.

What expansion/ gamepack is your favorite? -- for ts2 I really don't think I could pick one. the problem is I use like 90% of them for SOMETHING gameplay wise, even if I don't use the main function. ie: I love the chemistry/attraction from nightlife, even though the whole downtown thing is frankly annoying sometimes (do YOU WANT TO GO DOWNTOWN? no, random townie I do not. ) But, seeing as I listed it earlier, I guess university.

Tagging uhm.... @rebouks, @pralinesims, @luverofralts, and @nappe-plays-the-sims

[ronweasleysleftnut]

3 from the romance prompt and 5 from the smut prompts with Steve please <3

Prompts:

This is me trying not to scare you away.

Please kiss me already.

This turned more into an angst to romance/fluff (didn't end up adding smut) lol but I hope you like it anyways <3

T/W - This story does involve mentions of physical abuse. If you don't want to read about that, I suggest you please skip this story and catch me in the next one <3

Opening Wounds - Steve Harrington

It was hard to get close to Steve. Although he seemed like a happy, cool guy on the outside, he had a lot of problems. Him and Y/n have been friends since they were kids, although he's never even opened up to her, not really.

At their high school graduation however, when his parents didn't show, Steve revealed a side of himself she had never seen before.

He had problems with his parents, that was noticeable from the moment she meant him, but she never really knew the extent of them. She knew they traveled a lot, and she had a feeling (although never confirmed) that his dad had a lot of... anger. But she never, ever, thought that they'd miss an event as big as his graduation.

Steve shrugged it off at first. We arrived early, we were supposed to meet our families beforehand and direct them to their seats before the ceremony started. Mr. and Mrs. Harrington however, never showed. Steve was left alone watching the other students direct some sort of family, even Y/n.

When she came back to where he was standing in line, he smiled as usual. "Hey" Y/n said, placing her hand on her friend's shoulder. "Did your parents never show?" She asked, and Steve's smile only faltered for a minute before he responded "Nah, they're still out of town" he says, "But it's fine" He waves it off, and in doing this removes Y/n's hand from his shoulder.

She can tell he's upset though, his smile doesn't go quite to his eyes. It never does when he talks about them. "Steve..." She starts, but before she can speak again she hears their principal call in front. "Everyone to your places please! We're about to start" He yells, and Y/n looks between the principal and Steve a couple times before biting her lip "We'll talk after" She says, "Of course" Steve responds, and he lets her run off to her proper place in line.

The ceremony went smoothly, names were predictably butchered but at least no one tripped on stage. Afterwards, the students and parents were sent to the gym for an after party. When you entered, there was a photo booth for families to take a picture with the graduate.

Steve walked in, reluctantly, by Y/n's side with her parents. When they got to the photo booth however, he refused to come in. "C'mon Steve!" Y/n said, trying to pull him into the booth "You're practically family anyways!" But the boy removed her hand and took a step back, "It's fine, really" He said, and the same fake smile appeared on his face "I'll just wait out here" but when Y/n got out of the booth, he was gone.

She excused herself, letting her parents go off into the party as she ran out of the gym. She looked both ways down the hallway, and when she didn't see Steve, she just continued walking. She looked around at the people crowding the hallways, but she didn't see him anywhere. Finally, right when she was about to give up, she remembered a place he might be.

Steve tended to skip class, a lot. And although in his Junior and Senior year he stopped doing so as much, he still had the same place he'd go to when he needed a break from class. It was an old drama room, practically the size of a closet. No one went in there anymore since Hawkins got a new drama room years prior. And so one day, Steve broke the lock, and since then he's been going in there.

Y/n walked to this same room now, and when she saw the door slightly ajar, she knew he'd be there.

She cracked the door open more, slipping into the dark room. Steve had previously moved some supplies into the room as well, food, entertainment, and a light source. "One thing my parents are good for, money" She remembered him saying the first time he had shown her the room.

The boy was sitting in the corner, his legs curled into his body and his eyes staring at the ground in front of him. He wasn't crying, but she could see the sadness in his dead eyes. Y/n tiptoed over and slowly sat herself down next to the boy, alerting him of her presence by bumping her knee against his own.

"Hey..." She whispered, and he finally looked over at her and grunted in response. "You left" She continued, stating the obvious to the boy. "I... I just couldn't be in that room" He said, looking away from her again. "I'm sorry" She says, looking away too "I didn't even think of that" But Steve shakes his head at this, "It's not your fault, you don't have to take care of me" Although Y/n felt like she did have to take care of him, especially since he didn't have anyone else to do so.

She looked back over at him, and gulped before reaching her hand over to his own and intertwining their fingers. "Steve" She said, and when he didn't respond she continued "Steve you're my best friend, and I love you more than anyone else in this world" At this he finally looked up, although his eyes were still trained in front of him "I just... I want to know what's wrong"

He bit his lip before turning his head to the girl, and for the first time in her life, Y/n saw Steve with tears in his eyes. She had never seen him cry before, not when he fell, not when his parents yelled, not even when his pet dog died. "I don't want to scare you away" Steve said quietly, his voice hoarse from lack of speaking.

Y/n felt her heart sink at his words, and she scooted closer to the boy, placing her other hand in his and holding them tight. "You could never scare me away" she says with finality, but Steve still looks away, not meeting her eyes. "Steve" She says, her voice hard and determined as she moves so that she's sitting in front of him, "Do you understand? Nothing you say could ever scare me"

He finally looks up and meets her eyes, the tears already gone. "I love you, Y/n" He says, and she can tell by the way he says it, that he means it. "And I want to tell you everything. I always have, but I've been so scared" Y/n gulps, taking it in, but she nods and prompts him to continue.

Steve takes a moment before he speaks, starting from the beginning. "My dad, when I was younger, when he got mad... well he hit me" Y/n's eyes widened at his words, but Steve's own face stayed solid as he continued "Mom didn't like it, but she didn't stop it either" Steve nods at his own words, and Y/n repeats the motion herself, squeezing his hands in reassurance. "When they started going on vacations, it was like heaven. They'd be gone, and I'd be left alone with cash to buy whatever food I wanted. I could have friends over, and, as I got older, I could have parties." He smiles at the last part, but then his face solidifies again as he continues "But it was also really lonely... I started calling my mom, but she only answered sometimes. At first they'd come home every holiday, but then they didn't" he shrugged at this, "I got used to living alone. I just never thought they'd miss this..."

He looks down again, and Y/n sits in front of him in silence for a moment, taking in all that he just told her before responding. "Steve... I'm sorry, I just- I never knew it was this bad" He shrugged, "I never told you" Steve always said he was with his grandparents for the holidays, but now Y/n realizes he must've been at home alone.

"Stevie..." She whispered, and scooted into the boy, hugging him close. His arms wrapped around her as well, and when they pulled apart their faces were inches from each other. "Y/n..." he whispered, "Steve" she responded, their breath mixing at how close they were. "Thank you" He said, his mouth moving closer to her own "Of course..." She responded, but the last part of her sentence was blocked out by Steve's lips meeting her own.

She felt all his pain in the kiss, but all his passion as well. She kissed him back with just as much emotion, and they only pulled apart when they were both out of breath. "I have something to confess" Steve says with a laugh, and Y/n nods "I've been wanting to do that for ages" He whispers breathily, their mouths still closer than normal.

"Come to holidays with my family" She responds, her voice just as quiet as his own. And maybe it was the bliss of their first kiss, or maybe it was Steve's clarity after finally opening up, but he nodded. She smiled, and continued "I know you don't want to seem weak, but trust me, opening up is the strongest thing you've ever done"

They sit there for a little longer, Steve wrapping his arms around Y/n and her head resting against his warm chest. Until eventually they get up and head back to the party, not wanting Y/n's parents to question her absence for too long. Steve goes in with her, greeting her parents with his usual enthusiasm. And as she watched Steve walk around the gym, she knew he'd be okay.

[lizziethat]

In the EW interview, Shannon Burke talks about the challenges of balancing the big action sequences with the more personal character-driven moments. And I was curious about your thoughts on that. How do you think they did this season?

Personally, I think they did a *bit* better than last season, with fewer gratuitous scenes (alligator attack, wasp allergy, car crash ... seriously?). I think S1 was the high watermark for character moments. But sometimes the writers get so caught up in the plot, especially in the last few episodes, that they seem to miss the point of the show -- the real reason people watch (and rewatch) -- which is the Pogues and their friendship. I don't understand this drive in entertainment to make the stakes higher and the action bigger and the mythology more elaborate with every new season (and not to reinforce stereotypes but I do wonder if that's a very male-driven impulse). Are they afraid we're going to lose interest? Are they getting pressure from the studio to go bigger? All it does is take the show further and further away from what made it good and popular in the first place -- and that was NOT the treasure hunt. I'm sure there are some people out there who do watch for the action -- and I enjoy it too in moderation -- but when it starts to overtake the story and act as a substitute for character development, then it becomes a problem for me. Anyway, sorry, that got a little ranty towards the end. :)

I don't know that they did as well as the previous seasons, actually. Or at least the mid part of the season felt very, very scattered. S1 was the strongest one in this respect for me, but even in S2 some of the gratuitous scenes you talked about had a point character-wise. And well, maybe S3 did as well, it was just characters we didn't care about!

But yeah, I think they got a little too lost in the plot, especially in the last episode. I think there's this idea, like you said, that things have to be "bigger" to be better, and it's not necessarily the case. Sometimes bigger works, and sometimes ...it really doesn't. Outer Banks was never a show that needed to be bigger, because it was never really about the treasure, it was about the people chasing it. (And I think trends in entertainment can, in general, rightfully be considered male-driven, because the industry pretty much is, with very few exceptions).

So, yes, I agree with your rant 100%. I don't watch anything -- not even Marvel movies -- for the spectacle and the action. Even John Wick, which I went to watch because I enjoy an action movie, isn't something that works if you have no emotional connection to John Wick as a character. I hope Season 3 of OBX can sort of go back to its Season 1 roots now that Big John and Ward are out of the picture, especially because the flashbacks have to be character-centric. If they execute that correctly, I think the interest will be enough to get this show another season, because that's what most people care about.

I'd love to have 5 minutes with some execs to explain these things, I really do. I would also love to explain the intricacies of fandom, lol. So many shows need a "fandom consultant," I swear.

[aajjks]

Haha, I don't know if this counts as the best version of me, but it's definitely the most real.

I come from a very strict Muslim family, so they all expect me to be so holy all the time. I used to be religious, but I think I've just drifted away over time, so I'm not that pious anymore. I still respect the moral values of Islam, but I don't feel inclined to practice Islam as strictly as I used to. I still think it's a beautiful religion with many beneficial practices, I just don't always want to be a perfect goody-two-shoes all the time. I still love the people in my life, but I guess I'm just scared to cause unnecessary conflict with my family, so I didn't say anything.

If they knew that I like reading stories about yanderes, they'd think I'm a psycho and that I need help, when I feel perfectly fine and not disturbed by fictional violence. I actually like music, I like dance, I like boys, I swear in my head and make dirty jokes, I actually want to scream and cheer and not just sit like a lady with my legs crossed, sometimes I want to make my hair look nice instead of wearing a scarf, etc. But to my family, that's all taboo. I'm not hurting anyone, so it can't be so wrong, right? Everytime I do anything vaguely fun, I get a whole long lecture. I'm not even allowed to put a picture of BTS up in my room or on my phone's lockscreen because it's a picture with faces. They're that superstitious.

I like to think that I'm still a good person because I don't hurt anyone intentionally and I'm still a kind respectful human being even though I may have some impure thoughts. They'd probably say I'm going to hell if they really knew me and they might just be right. I don't know. They'd probably disown me if they knew what I actually think and feel. I hope that someday I'll be comfortable enough to be able to be myself instead of acting like this quiet innocent child even though I'm almost 20.

Someday, I'll build up the courage, but for now, I'm just happy to be here. That's actually one of the reasons why I like hanging out here so much. Not only is there entertaining BTS content, but I feel like this is such a safe space. I don't have a single person in my actual life that I can joke with and feel unreserved with, whereas here, I have no inhibitions whatsoever. Yeah, some of the stuff that I send in here is anonymous, but I still bother to click send whereas I would never say it in real life.

I also appreciate that you're Muslim, so I can relate to you. It makes me feel less bad about being from a Muslim family and reading smut, lol. Where I come from, people would neeeever talk about sex. I'm not perfect. There's no such thing as perfect. That doesn't change that I feel like the most two-faced bitch out there. I feel like someone who's in the closet. I'm not gay, I just mean figuratively, like no one knows how I feel. Sorry, I know this was a bit of a long rant. I just needed to offload. Sometimes I wish I could meet you in person, Alina. Then at least I'd have one real friend that actually knows the real me without judging me. You're the kind of person who stands up for her friends no matter what. I know I call you a princess, but you're truly more like my night in shining armour who saves me from hating myself and from being alone. You have a heart of gold and I love you for it. Thank you for being my friend, even if it's virtual.

P.S., If this sounds off-putting to a non-Muslim about Islam, please don't use this as an example. Islam is a beautiful religion once you get to know it. My family is just a bit... extreme. They're not terrorists or oppressors. They would never force me to do anything serious against my will. I'm willingly like this. I've created this façade for myself and don't know how to get out of it. They're just very morally sound and staunchly religious. They're a little bit condemning and restrictive, but they're still good people.

I’m glad that you feel comfy enough to share your struggles n that’s okay, I’m just blessed enough to have parents who are open minded, I definitely love my religion a lot and i practice it daily but yeah….

Yay!!!! another Muslim!!!!

anytime bae, and I wish I could MEET ALL OF YOU LIKE A LITTKE MEET N GREET OOHHH I WISH I COULD 😭🩷

[destinyc1020]

phone addiction is real and normalized and i haaaate it. i feel like so many of us are on some level addicted to screens, and i just absolutely hate the feeling of it. like i love coming on here, seeing content, catching up, but when i'm away too long i honestly get really restless and feel like i 'have' to check to see whats up in the entertainment world. i've been working on this for years, too, trying to figure out ways to just chill and maybe log off of things for a few days, but i struggle to even manage that. what i want is just a nice balance of checking up on fandom stuff casually, not feeling like i need to do it or that i'm missing something if i'm away for a few days. it's baaad!! and then you go out and see people glued to their screens in restaurants, with their kids, in every situation possible. theres so many advantages to phones but i feel like their disadvantages aren't talked about enough. i love how tom has spoken up about stepping back from checking social media, i hope z for her own health does the same sometimes cause whew,cannot imagine being famous and having social media convo being about myself!

Yea girl....I feel you lol.

I think society has kind of normalized this behavior of "Phubbing" in public also. However, if you look back to old movies, or even old photographs, you'll see images or pictures of people casually enjoying one another's company at a restaurant and giving everyone their full attention.

But if you go out to eat in 2023, and look around a crowded restaurant, you're guaranteed to notice at least more than a few people phubbing the ppl they're with at the same table because they're deep into their phones. I've even seen a group of friends (not mine) all at the same table, and EVERY SINGLE ONE of them had their heads bent into their phones.... nobody talking to each other... 😑

I'm like, what's the point in even going out as a group of friends if all you're going to be doing is ignoring each other the entire night? Rofl 😆 🤣

Anyway, I totally agree with what Tom says about giving yourself a BREAK from social media, and just your devices in general!!🥰 That's just wise advice imo. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I know it sounds super crazy, but I guarantee you that if you were to delete all of your social media apps from your phone and stay away from them for two weeks, you will realize that you feel SO MUCH BETTER, and your addiction will subside. 😊

***You are addicted BECAUSE you keep going on these sites lol. If you stay away from them, the less you will be addicted, believe me. 💯

It will be tough, but that's why it's called an ADDICTION. That's classic addiction symptoms if you can't stop doing smthg, or you feel anxious or uneasy when you remove the addiction from your life.

However, it DOES get easier with every passing day that you don't give in to your addiction.

You're only feeding your addiction the more you go on it and can't stay stay away from it for many days.

Just like Tom noticed that he had a problem with alcohol and started to stay away from it, you can find (just like he did) that it gets easier the longer you stay away from it! 😊 The first step however is (as you've already done) recognizing that you have an addiction.

I know for me personally, I stop craving it when I get off of even Tumblr for a few days lol 😆 I highly recommend it. I also think that a lot of fans will STOP feeling so anxious about Tomdaya every two seconds when you're not following their every move every second of the day. 👀🤷🏾‍♀️

I'm telling you, NOT being addicted to your phone is a wonderful thing! 😊

You can even try a "Living in the 90s" Challenge by driving someplace close to home (maybe the grocery store or smthg) and actually *gasp*! leaving your cellphone at HOME!! 😳🤯😲

I'm getting anxiety just even thinking about doing that rofl 🤣, but I've actually contemplated doing that just as a challenge for myself to see if I can actually do it, and not break out in a cold sweat wondering where my phone is, what I'm missing, or whether someone has tried to reach me at some point lol 😅

I think what we will find when/if we do this, however, is that we're way more PRESENT in our lives, we make more conversations with ppl in public, and we will probably notice so many more things in our life when we leave the phone at home, or just leave it in our purse. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[mettywiththenotes]

What are your thoughts about the Curious Cat now? I was thinking back when they "saved" Ruby from Herb, maybe they did that because they were trying to avoid another situation like Alyx? When Jaune was talking about what happened, the cat looked uncomfortable during the depiction of them with Herb.

Yesss my thoughts exactly, I think the Cat jumped in because they knew what happened last time (with Alyx and Herb) and didn't want the same to happen again, or was at least worried about what the smoke would do to the girls if it lasted too long

I honestly don't know what to think about the Curious Cat atm

In the episodes prior to this weeks, my thoughts were that the Cat had bad intentions for the team and was manipulating them. I'm still unsure as to whether their intentions are good at all, but I think the one thing to glean from the past with Alyx and Lewis is that maybe the Cat trusted a human who betrayed them in the end and, when they spoke to Jaune, Ruby and Weiss about what happened, there was truth to how they felt and what happened - that they fell for Alyx's promise to take them to Remnant and got betrayed

(And the Curious Cat's fur dimmed when they were talking about what happened and that leads me to believe they were sad enough to "turn off" their "role" in a way. if that makes sense?)

Also I noticed that, even though the Cat looks unsure when they are with Herb, they smile afterwards (when Jaune is telling Ruby and Weiss about how Alyx began to distrust him) and after Alyx gives Jaune the poison, you can see the Cat's eyes glowing just before they fade with the flashback

Part of me wonders if that was the intention? To get Alyx to visit Herb and then have her dispose of Jaune so the "voice of reason" would leave them alone and she'd be left with the Cat and her brother, as a way of manipulating the situation so they could lead Alyx and Lewis to doom

But it's also plausible (more plausible imo) that the Curious Cat didn't like that they visited Herb, didn't like the effect the smoke had on Alyx and didn't like how Alyx changed afterwards. But maybe they did like that Alyx distrusted Jaune enough to poison him, maybe they thought "he was getting in the way anyway, just no fun at all. she would never do that to me though. at least she'll take me back with her and keep her promise, just like she said she would" - fine with Jaune being taken out of the picture but ultimately holding onto Alyx's promise and trusting her

Just to clarify, the difference in both possibilities is that "leading her to Herb and letting her get rid of Jaune" implies malicious intent, while "fine with Jaune being taken out but trusting her enough to fulfill her end of the promise" implies that they didn't care about anything as long as they were entertained and could appreciate the "opportunity" Alyx offered them

I know I said I'm unsure of the Cat, and I still am, but out of the possibilities I think the latter would be more likely, considering how the Curious Cat really seemed to think Alyx would keep her promise

I'm of the opinion that both Jaune and the Curious Cat have truth to their stories, but Jaune is acting on the assumption that the Cat did something really bad and their intentions were ALWAYS bad, while the Cat genuinely doesn't seem to know what to think about what happened. I also think Jaune has a few things he's still not telling the team (besides the whole thing with Penny), whatever they may be, and that the Curious Cat still has something Off about them

So you could say I'm taking both sides with a pinch of salt for now

There's still some gaps in the story. It's hurting my brain trying to figure it out lol

But there's still more left to this volume so I'm hoping the past will be elaborated on fully (or at least most of the gaps will be filled in)

[weabooweedwitch]

Nah, man, sorry to say that but your mom is straight up blind. That dark lipstick goes super well with your dark hair and light complex. Don’t listen to your mother, and be proud of that fancy and great look you got there! 💅✨

THANK YOU because, ok, there are multiple reasons I'm kind of overly pissed lol. For one, personal opinions aside, it's like critiquing the main core of the idea? It's like, idk, going to a Glass Animals concert and saying "it would have been better without the stoner music" like girl thats the point? Am i phrasing this correctly 🤦‍♀️ its like someone asking how you like their job grooming a dog and you say "oh it would just be better if it wasnt a dog" and adding nothing else

Second, like, this is my first attempt doing a full look all on my own so im already nervous but also all the time and effort? I'm talking cleanser, toner, primer, eyeshadow primer, tinted moisturizer (found one that has like natural medium coverage in my exact shade and I feel like it might be good for my skin vs a foundation? Also just general testing what works for my oily skin), eyeshadow, mascara, a little eyebrow pencil wing for flavor lol, tried and failed at some contour and will have to try that again lol, and the main piece for me at least, the dark lipstick which is transfer proof by the way!! Which is a big win for me because lip products that come off your lips when you do anything are so temporary and just feel, weird? I had to scrub with micelluar water to get this off! (I think it's called Maybelline super stay matte ink lipstick. You have to wait for it to dry but goddamn I literally drank water and hit a bong after putting it on and it stayed soooo well, virtually nothing came off)

But yeah! It's. I think I've mentioned it before but a big part of this is like, I feel like I'm actually legitimately going through a combination quarter life crisis but also a maybe more positive significant shift in how I live my life idk? For the longest time i felt too ugly and heavy and gross and just subhuman to wear makeup and now that I've gotten older and more I guess life experienced and have lost weight I've started getting into it and it's been fun! It's like art you know, and it can be entertaining to find a makeup artists or influencer you like (I like Robert Walsh and his brother James, they're twins, a pro MUA and a dermatologist respectively). They also go from funny to educational so it's just idk, fun to scroll through the sheer mass of content. Also it's kind of just like art and painting when you think about it!

And like I did talk to her and she said I kind of misinterpreted what she said but it's still like, girl, please just lie and say it looks good next time. Like she thought I looked really good but she kept saying "the lipstick is just darker than I was expecting", which, yeah I could have gone more dark red, but I kinda just wanted to try something really dark but not black? I like the look and, ha, my male friend who's approval I've been a little gaga for said it looked good too so ❤️

I hope to make more looks in the future because it was fun, collect all sorts of nice pictures of different colors and styles. This whole deal today that I even put makeup on for was literally just to run errands, like get food and go to a smoke shop, because I don't get out much, but that's also part of the journey is that I hope to get out more and do more activities and wearing makeup during so will be a fun social thing you know? I'm being kind of wordy but you probably get it.

Also! I was inspired by like, this sort of color theory aesthetic video/clip I was seeing where they were showing "dark femininity vs light femininity" so it's like, pronounced brows, sharp/bold/dakr lipstick, bronzer contour, dark or smoky eyes, versus pink blush, lighter colors, glitters and shimmers, highlighted cheeks, you know? So my mom was kind of expecting light femininity when I was doing dark femininity. So her "main complaint" is actually for a look I want to do next 😅 but hey thanks for the support, this is actually so like, fascinating but complicated and nervewracking and also so much is subjective and I'm so unused to seeing myself like this that even though, realistically I looked good, I felt like a painted clown and like, a poser? A loser, idk. But the journey continues on :)

[capnseriouslycanadian]

Hi! I love talking about domestic and parent 1988 things so much, and I wanted to drop some questions in your ask box lol. These are a bunch of “who would be better at or be more likely to do” questions.

Plan the vacations?

Gets the kids their thousandth cup of water to stave off bedtime?

Who would do what daily chores?

Who would clean up toxic accidents from children and dogs galore? (Jonny will get his dog, *shakes fist at sky*)

Who is better at entertaining guests?

Who is the chaperone on field trips?

Who’s the bigger baby when they’re sick?

Are they vampires when they sleep? Or does someone need a night light?

Who’s good cop and bad cop?

Honestly, after typing these out I realized a lot could be both lol. Hope you enjoy your weekend!

i am so SO sorry that i took forever to reply to this. i started typing out my reply eons ago and had it saved in my drafts to come back to, so i’m glad i finally had time to finish!! but let’s get to it!!

who plans the vacations? i think patrick probably tries to bully jonny into going to cabo every chance he gets, but jonny’s more adventurous and likes to go to more tropical places for his wellness retreats, hikes, ~nature vibes~, etc. so i presume that their joint vacations would be some sort of combination of bickering and indecision, but because jonny’s weak, he would eventually cave and they would go to cabo. :)

who gets the kids their thousandth cup of water to stave off bedtime? i’m gonna throw a curve ball in here and say that it’s definitely good ol’ uncle sharpy keeping the kids up whenever he baby sits, because jonny is Not a morning person and patrick has said on multiple occasions that he really values his sleep as he gets older (lol okay grandpa).

who would do what daily chores? jonny’s the cook, because he has the more temperamental stomach and more dietary restrictions, and patrick’s learned to like some of his healthier dishes. patrick does dishes and loads the dishwater. they fight over laundry because they both hate it and think it’s tedious. patrick always tidies the kitchen and living room, putting away random odds and ends that jonny seems to leave everywhere. jonny takes out the recycling because “if you’re going to throw plastic bottles everywhere, the least you could do is throw them out, jonathan.”

who would clean up toxic accidents from the kids and dogs? i’m gonna go with jonny for this one, because of how patrick said that he never changes diapers or anything for pk3 lol. i feel like it’s probably a team effort tho, and typically falls on the shoulders of whichever one of them is less annoyed on any given day

who is better at entertaining guests? definitely jonny because he’s been hosting team bonding gatherings at his apartment for as long as he can remember and he’s a little more extroverted. patrick likes his people, so if it’s hosting someone he’s not super familiar with, it can take him a little longer to warm up to them, but jonny will sense his uncertainty and plaster himself along patrick’s side, arm thrown over his shoulders, and patrick will be all laughter and easy smiles in no time.

who is the chaperone on field trips? jonny 100%. i can picture him with his backpack full of first aid supplies and extra snacks and water, trying to herd all the kids and keep them in line (much the same way a captain would). i think he would especially love going on the outdoor field trips. camping, skiing, skating, hiking, scavenger hunts, the works.

who’s the bigger baby when they’re sick? i’m going to probably say neither of them are bc they both seem pretty keen to play through illnesses. but i’ll go with patrick here, solely because jonny’s dealt with so many different sicknesses and health problems over the years that he’s probably a bit immune to being sick (as sad as it is to say).

are they vampires when they sleep? or does someone need a night light? i think they both prefer to sleep in the dark because when you’re used to sleeping in hundreds of different hotel rooms, the darkness helps it feel less hotel-y and more like home.

who’s good cop and bad cop? i think they probably tag team it, switching off so that neither ever ends up being more well liked than the other. gotta keep the playing field as fair as possible!

thank you for the ask!!

[yo-aloe-vera]

I noticed that you get quite a few comments from Sakura fans who are unhappy with the way you portray her. I think you're closer to her canon character than any of their fanworks though. I really think Sakura coerced or manipulated Sasuke into giving her a child somehow. We know she can be mean and manipulative, as seen by every one of her confessions (including the fake one to Naruto). The way she tried to kill Sasuke was also cowardly and manipulative. Naruto had just told her that he wasnt giving up on Sasuke even though the promise he made to her no longer stood, but she still wanted to kill him. She really doesnt see Sasuke as a person, she couldnt even try to understand. In Chapter 3 she tried to get Sasuke's attention by talking shit about Naruto, but he defended Naruto. She even tried to "steal" his first kiss and thought about him peeing in front of her so that she could see his dick.  She always jumped on him no matter how many times he made it clear that he didnt like it. And SS was deliberately written to be a bad and dysfunctional 'couple' in Gaiden. I think Sakura can actually be called abusive when she frightens Sarada into shutting up, shouts at her for asking valid questions about her weird 'relationship' with Sasuke and destroys her house. She's still insecure over other women and possessive of Sasuke in her 30s. She specifically covered Karin's face with her own picture to fool her daughter and she spoke badly about Ino to Sarada, so Sarada stops Ino from getting close to Sasuke. Sasuke was actually extremely unhappy to see her after all those years. He shouted "why exactly are you here!?" with a frown. He basically said he and Sakura are only connected because of Sarada and he was reluctant to say even that. He only called her his wife in front of Sarada and then Sarada has a flashback to that moment when she thinks about what kind of relationship they have. Naruto's not even her friend anymore, he knew nothing about her life, thought Karin could actually be Sarada's mom and that was the first personal conversation he had with Sarada. What does it say about them that Kishi made sure to let us know that Sasuke never even kissed her and he rejected her before he left. He looked miserable in his family photo and family dinner. It can't be a coincidence, Kishi could have drawn a happier expression if he wanted to convey a happy family. In your story Sasuke neglects Sarada because of her connection to Sakura and I think that might actually be true in canon as well

I think these are good points.

I can forgive some of Sakura’s distasteful behavior pre-Shippuden because of her age. But she had no development at all. The way she and Sasuke are in Boruto, at least as far as I can see, is just... no. That is a toxic dynamic. It is hella gross, and the way both of them treat Sarada is reprehensible (which of course is a huge and important part of the plot of SEA).

The forehead poke, so beloved of sasa stans, is deliberately a way to keep her at a distance--just as Itachi always used it with Sasuke.

The disdain sasa fans have for any kind of anti-sakura heterodoxy is also just weird to me. There are many characterizations of my fav characters that irk me in fanfic. So I don't read them? And I don't understand intentionally reading things that make you unhappy?

I've been fairly kind to Sakura in my stories until this one. I wanted this particular fic to draw on the toxic traits of all the characters, though, and her character as it developed after Shippuden ended was extremely toxic.

So I am perplexed and, honestly, somewhat entertained by the animus sasa fans have for the story. Like, OK, boo, we get it, you are mad. Noted. Oh, you're still mad. Mmkay, dumpling, hope you feel better soon lol.

Then some of them decide to take on the worst traits of their idol and go all out crazy on SNS writers like it's holy war and they're cleansing the world of evil. By being incredibly snide, by harassing writers, and just all around making poor decisions because someone writing a fanfic they did not pay to read failed to give them what they wanted.

All that to say, thank you, I agree with you. Sorry for the tangent on your comment, you unleashed the beast 😆

Thank you for reading, and also thank you for discussing your viewpoints.