#hopefully i have everything right to get these automatically after the joining if i start a new game (whenever that might be)

[robo-dino-puppies]

thank youuuu @salamanders-please for letting me know that my Wardens can look like Wardens in Origins :D

[dxdoha]

yaaaay, she's finally in! hi everyone, it's sera or sarah (whichever you prefer because i like both) and i'm here with my girl, bae doha - a tier c agent who mostly works in espionage, a girl can show many sides to her personality simultaneously which is probably considered crazy to most people but i swear it's not her fault. if any of your muses want to engage in some wild shenanigans, please do like to plot and i'll come over to u to plot and possibly share discords if you want that! i'll put a hopefully (?!) shortened little summary of her under the cut! if you want something more in depth, you can look at her profile here as well!

when i decided to write her, automatically i thought of spy x family as a tiny part of her backstory was inspired by it if you couldn't tell already!!

doha in a way, is trying to figure out the cause of her parents' deaths, as in who turned their house into a fire cockpit so she has been trying to get her hands on documents or sensitive information on any villain she can encounter on missions (if she feels as if they could be the cause of it).

by the way, she was about to die too in that house but her mom basically protected her til the very end and she did survive long enough to be saved.

from the orphanage she stayed at, that was when her abilities started to go out of control and she would manifest like multiple copies of herself so they'd have an extra two dohas running around. doha was just that one kid who stands in the corner, a lonely kid but with the ability to make clones of herself, people see her differently.

she got adopted at the age of 11 from super spy parents and you'd think that normal parents look for a child because they just want a normal little happy family, right? well it was like shopping to them when they decided to take doha home. her powers intrigued them and everything and they thought simply having a baby was too much work.

went into school fairly early, like a month after she got taken home from the orphanage. private school in korea pretty much, which had her parents pull some strings in order to get her into it but it worked, due to her mom's profession. went there until she was able to pass exams in order to enter the academy, which she ultimately joined once she was sixteen. finished in the top five basically, barely made it up there actually!

has been a tier c agent for not even a full six months? she's still pretty new. she has gotten better at espionage though due to her father's teachings in combat and her mom tries to help her temper her own emotions; got her charm from her.

you can be charming and be a loser at the same time, that's doha basically. the number of times she embarrasses herself during a mission was plenty but thankfully no one notices.

but anyone can definitely find other sides to her if they encounter any of her clones around doha's vicinity. just a warning that one may be meaner than the other or one much more confident and less embarrassing than the original. in the end, they are all still her. real doha is more empathetic at least.

all still her in terms of personality, ones that are buried i guess!

plot ideas anyone?

so many orphaned kids in this rp so maybe there was one that was in the same one as doha and witnessed her powers go out of control?

you dropped some sensitive information somewhere out in public that could make or break you on accident and now doha managed to find it?

met one of doha's clones out and about and then you meet doha herself and she seems completely differently from the one you met earlier? because that happens sometimes.

fellow spies apart of n.e.p.a, rise up!

not gonna lie, i am a big fan of romance whether it becomes something or not so like... maybe there is someone who just completely charms her by doing something cool and badass.

two terribly lonely souls drinking at a bar to have fun, or go to a cute bakery to have a perfectly crafted cake all to themselves.

frenemies? rivals? we love those! two people who love to compete with one another every chance they get or just one of them waiting for the other to fail / embarrass themselves so they can laugh? it's endless.

for a more serious plot... maybe you heard about that one family who became collateral damage to a villain attack and you suspect doha was apart of it in some way? as in she was effected by it? or you've been in the medical field and suspect something instantly? public isn't aware of it.

if nothing else, we can brainstorm! that's a-okay with me too!

[desiredmalfoy]

Love Lost (D.M. x Reader)

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Reader

Universe: No Voldy but still pain in this story.

Genre: Angst! And more Angst!

Word Count: 1.3k

Summary: The reader feels like she’s losing Draco to Astoria. Does he still love her? Will he fix it?

Warning: Some bad words? Not too many.

{Draco Masterlist} { Main Masterlist }

(Credit to the gif owner)

I was in a mood for angst today lol. After having writers block for so long I finally came up with this. Hopefully I can finish my wips, ships and requests soon! Let me know if you want a part 2

You usually didn’t have a problem with any of Draco’s friends. Sure, some of them could be real idiots but for the most part they were nice to you. But you had recently ran into a problem, and her name was Astoria Greengrass. She was Daphne’s little sister who painfully obviously had a crush on your boyfriend. You hated seeming like an over jealous girlfriend, so you didn’t know how to truly react to this.

He had begun to spend more time with her after she had practically begged him for help in potions. She had come up to him in the common room when you were studying and pleaded with him for help. Her eyes seemed to sparkle when he finally agreed.

He seemed reluctant at first but ultimately agreed. He had said to you, “I’m only helping her so that she doesn’t tell her parents I refused. Last thing I need is my parents' comments.”

It had started innocent, he would help her twice a week in the library. As the weeks progressed, they were hanging out more and more often. He would finish quidditch practice and then meet her in the common room. Telling you that he would see you later but later never came.

He had even forgotten one of your dates. He apologized profusely and promised to make it up to you. He didn’t, he forgot too.

One date became two and then you lost count. You were tired of being disappointed.

You had walked into the common room after spending the evening studying with Pansy. All your friends had gotten together to study for an upcoming potions exam. All except Draco who didn’t show up. After walking in, that’s when you saw the two of them sitting in a corner table of the common room. You felt your stomach drop. Your mouth began to dry up and it felt sticky. You didn’t know how to react.

“What an arse”, Pansy mumbled to you. She reached for your hand to give it as squeeze. Letting you know she’s there for you. She had heard you complain all the time, she knew the pain you felt. And she was over seeing you getting walked over.

“Oh looks who’s here (y/n)! We finally found him!” Pansy exclaimed dramatically. This caused the two of them to break from their world and turn to the two of you.

“What do you mean Parkinson?” Draco asked, breaking the silence in the room. The air felt stifling. Astoria only looked up at you and Pansy, not making a comment.

“We were all meant to study together.” Pansy answered bluntly. “Did you forget that too Malfoy?”

“What the bloody hell do you mean?”

“You seem to forget everything as of late” You got the courage to speak up suddenly, beating Pansy. You glanced over at her as she gave you an encouraging look.“ I mean you always seem to forget our dates.”

The lump in your throat grew more and more by the second.

“Babe I-”

“I’m getting quite tired. It’s been a long steady session. I’ll see you all tomorrow.” You interrupted him, stopping him before he spoke. You had enough of this and the last thing you needed was for them to see you cry.

You let go of Pansy's hand and adjusted the strap of your bag. You made your way towards your dorm, trying to get out of there as fast as possible.

You walked into your dorm, slamming it shut. You threw your book bag across the room. Letting out some of the anger you felt. You grabbed a pillow from your bed and threw it at the door. You threw yourself onto your bed, frustrated beyond belief. The door opened and revealed the last person you wanted to see.

“What are we exactly”, you asked bluntly as he walked into your dorm. Draco looked at you confused as he looked towards you.

“What do you even mean?”

“I mean I don’t feel like your girlfriend anymore.” You rolled your eyes at his lack of comprehension. “You barely want to be around me it seems. I haven’t seen you in days Draco but you know who has? Astoria.”

“Don’t be bloody ridiculous (y/n). She’s my friend and nothing more. You’re overreacting.” It was his turn to roll his eyes at you.

You stood up suddenly and went to stand face to face with you. “Really? A friend is someone who’s super touchy with you? Someone who openly flirts with you?”

“She’s my friend! You’re just jealous!” His face was becoming redder with anger.

“You’re so draft Draco!” You threw your hands up in anger. Your voice rising slightly in pitch as you kept on getting angrier. “Everyone can see it! Hell, even Crabbe asked me if I was even still your girlfriend. You know how bloody obvious it has to be for that git to see it?”

“You know you wouldn’t like it if it was another guy treating me the way Astoria is with you.”

“She doesn’t like me!” He yelled, frustrated at the situation and at himself. Because it was finally dawning on him what a horrible boyfriend he had been these past few weeks. “And it doesn’t matter if she did because I don’t like her! Please understand that (y/n)!”

“Yes it does! Because you don’t set any boundaries and let her do whatever. You let her think you’re interested. And not one time do you stop & think about me.”

“You have forgotten our dates! You literally left me all alone waiting for you in the astronomy tower because you never showed.” You continued your rant and Draco stayed silent at your outburst. He stared at you with wide eyes and shock. He had never seen you like this.

“Did you know I’m not doing the best on potions anymore? I’m struggling and you don’t seem to care Draco. But sure, as long as Astoria is passing it’s okay I guess.” You were crying at this point as you continued you’re rant. Tears freely flowing from your cheeks. You hated crying, you hated seeming weak.

Draco attempted to wipe the tears from your cheeks but you moved away. Not wanting him to touch you right now. You let out a deep breath, voice quivering. “I don’t know how much more I can handle. My heart can’t take much more.”

“What do you mean darling? I love you. Please (y/n), I love you so much. I never wanted to hurt you.”

“I think you’re a little too late for that.”

“Please. Please think about this. I’m so sorry.” He was now starting to cry himself, something that was rare for him. He didn’t just cry for anyone. But his tears didn’t take away the hurt he had caused.

“You’ve broken my trust. You’ve hurt me. It’s going to take more than saying I’m sorry to let this all go.”

“I’ll do anything love.”

“You have to see where your heart lies. If you do actually love me, you’ll have to gain my trust back Draco.”

“Babe…” he grabbed your cheeks titling your head to look at him in the eyes. Both your eyes shining from the tears. “I’ll do that and so much more.”

“For the sake of our relationship, I hope you mean it. But I think I need some time to myself tonight and maybe tomorrow too.” You grabbed his hands, taking them away from your face. You gave them a slight squeeze before letting them go. Hoping that this wouldn’t be the last time you held them.

He left without saying another word. As you watched him walk out of your dorm, you dropped to the floor. Letting all the emotions of the past weeks flowing out. All the hurt, all the sadness and all the angry flowing down your cheeks.

Thoughts? Part 2??

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[oscarseyebrow]

Here’s a prompt for you: 24 “Don’t mind if I do.”

Feel free to ignore this but I’m thinking AU Poe? Maybe something focusing on what his life would be like if he hadn’t joined the Resistanc? Thank you, love you 😘

gif by the wonderful @zoriis 💖

Rating: M Pairing: Poe Dameron x gn!reader Word count: 5k Warnings: Drinking, language, smoking. AN: Song lyrics taken (and changed) from Never Had. Masterlist | Taglist

The cantina is heaving by the time you finally arrive - late, as per usual. It really isn’t your fault. Whatever your friends may say -- if you ever make it to the table -- it’s not your fault. For every task you’d managed to wrap up at work, two more came across the desk for you and Maker, you really need to learn how to say no.

Leaving work late is the domino to topple the rest, which somehow sees you almost an hour late as you turn sideways, trying to squeeze between two groups of people. It’s so fucking busy and you don’t want to be here.

Come for drinks! They had said in the messages being exchanged throughout the day. There’s some live music on tonight. They’d then added. After the week you’ve had, the thought of drinks is a delight -- but not the live music. Not the packed cantina, full to the brim with people. You should have known it would be like this. Yet, here you are.

Everything is so warm and clammy in the dimly lit room; the heat from all the bodies mingling with very little space to dissipate between the walls and the low ceiling. It’s the kind of heat that wets your skin and causes clothes to stick to a thin covering of perspiration. You can already feel it as the smallest beads begin to build on your lower back beneath your layers. And you’re so desperate to reach the booth and relieve yourself of your jacket, but now you’re trapped. The fabric caught between the two bodies you’re attempting to squeeze between.

“Excuse me,” You tug and tug at your jacket, but to no avail. “Hey, can you… Just…” Another tug and you’re free; the abrupt release causing you to stumble backwards and straight into someone else. There’s a sudden yell that’s quickly followed by a wetness filling your boot and your jaw is already clenching as you glance down, seeing the empty glass rolling away and the contents of it now soaking through to your sock. Fucking great. Yes, please, allow this night to become so much worse than you could have ever foreseen.

Really, there are no words. You can’t blame this guy, you were the one to stumble into him and knock his drink out of his hand. But you still feel the unjustified rage bubbling in your stomach while you glare daggers at him. Without saying anything, you fix your jacket from where it has slipped down over your shoulder and then trudge the rest of the way to the booth; the trail of single wet footprints being left in your wake.

“You made it!” Zee, a friend from your previous place of work, is the first to spot you as she gets to her feet to throw her arms around your shoulders for a quick hug. “What took you so long?”

“Work.” You groan and give her one of those exasperated looks before moving to take a seat beside the others, but you’re quickly stopped by the hand of another friend, not allowing you to move any further.

“Last one in buys a round of drinks.” He grins up at you, clearly a few rounds deep already. In an attempt to keep your thoughts to yourself, you press your lips together in a tight line and look between all of the glasses on the table. They’ve barely been touched. “Hey, I don’t make the rules.” He then shrugs and leans back in his seat, looking all too smug with himself. If only he knew the tight thread your patience is hanging from right now, he wouldn’t be sitting there looking so smug. Finally, your eyes sweep back over to Zee and watch as she gives you a small, apologetic shrug.

Right.

With a heavy sigh, you turn on your heel and begin the struggle of pushing your way through to the bar; that unjustified rage bubbling away again with every shoulder and elbow that catches you as you weave between bodies. Finally, the bar is in sight, it’s only a few feet away and that’s when you stumble; hands quickly grasping for anything within reach to steady yourself as you gasp loudly. It’s a stomach turning moment, much like misjudging the last step in the dark. You lose your footing and know the floor is going to be greeting you real soon.

Thankfully, a hand catches hold of your arm to steady you and guide you forwards so that you can brace yourself against the wet bartop. When previously thinking if this night could get any worse, it hadn’t been a challenge to yourself. Yet, somehow, another domino topples over as you straighten up and turn to give your thanks to the stranger who saved you from the embarrassment of falling down. Your mouth opens but your words stall, not quite making it out as you meet the darkest eyes you’ve ever seen.

“I… Uh…” You stutter while drinking in the handsome face that’s still watching you with interest; eyebrows arching towards soft curls that have fallen free across his forehead from where his hair is swept back. Maker, he’s beautiful and all you can do is stare. “I…” You try again, but become very aware of the hand that is still holding your arm to keep you steady. A whole different kind of heat creeps across your skin now, adding to the warmth of the cantina while your eyes lower to the way his dark hair curls beneath his ear.

“Thanks.” You clear your throat, managing to force your unwilling words out. It starts as a hint at the corner of his lips, his mouth twitching ever so slightly while watching you before a smile finally curls over them. It’s a smile to light up a damn room. It’s vibrant and it radiates warmth as you watch the way his eyes crinkle, showing you how genuine this gesture is. Oh, you’re in trouble and your eyes are falling faster than you were only moments before. They come to land on luscious lips and that’s where they linger for maybe a second longer than they should -- they look so soft, so welcoming and they’re parting as he finally speaks.

“You doing okay?” Your saviour leans forwards a little as he asks that, allowing you to hear a voice that you swear drips actual honey. You should be embarrassed. But, you’re not. And for a fleeting moment, you find yourself smiling back at him, allowing him to captivate you and draw you in. It feels like the first genuine smile you’ve given since walking into this place, and you’re throwing it at a stranger you’ve just met.

“No.” You laugh, unable to help yourself. “I’m really not. I’ve been dragged here to see some shitty musician, I have someone’s drink swimming around inside of my boot and I have to buy a round of drinks because I’m late.” The man’s hand finally leaves your arm while he leans against the bar, keeping his body turned to yours now that you have seemingly caught his attention.

“Nice to meet you, Late. I’m Poe.” His hand extends towards you as he introduces himself and it takes you a moment for his awful joke to finally click. Oh. Stars. He’s witty as well as handsome. And as an automatic reaction, your hand reaches to take his, curious to know what his skin feels like as you shake it in greeting. Smooth, yet calloused. His palm holds a softness that his fingertips lack and you can’t help but wonder what his story is.

“That’s not-” You begin, as though considering correcting him and telling him your actual name, but you think better of it and simply shake your head with a small laugh. “You know what? Never mind.” Releasing his hand, you turn your attention to the bar and try to make eye contact with the server to let them know that you’re waiting. It’s so busy. You know this is going to take some time.

“Can I buy you a drink?” Poe doesn’t beat around the bush, does he? He’s straight in there, very forward with his offer while he continues to watch you long after your eyes have left him. But even as you stare at the coloured bottles behind the bar, you can still picture the jaw-line, covered with a few days worth of stubble which gives him a somewhat rugged look that counteracts the smoothness of his voice. And those lips. Full and perfectly even at the top and bottom. Your timing is all wrong as you finally glance back over at him and catch him licking at them after finishing his drink, waiting for your answer before ordering another.

You should go back to the booth. You’re here with friends, to see some live music and hopefully have some fun. But the longer you stand here, the more this offer seems much more appealing. They won’t miss you for one drink, will they? It can be quick. So you finally nod and force your eyes away from those lips, desperately trying to keep your face from showing everything you’re thinking right now.

“You can.” And so it’s decided. Tugging your jacket off, you’re hoping it helps with the heat and the way your hair is already beginning to stick to the nape of your neck, but it really doesn’t. It’s heavy and almost suffocating with all of the bodies packed inside of the cantina, yet, this man feels like a breath of fresh air. An attractive, bright, breath of fresh air and you’re desperate to breathe him in.

Poe makes a small motion with his hand on the bar and one of the servers walks down towards him, greeting him with a smile of familiarity. Interesting. This man appears to be known here, perhaps a regular - in any case, the two men know each other as they interact and Poe orders his drink first before turning to you so that you can do the same.

“Jet juice, please.” Poe watches you for a moment, silently storing that information to mind, or silently judging you from your drink choice, you’re not quite sure. But then his attention is gone and he slips the credits across the bar top to pay for the drinks. Even his profile is striking. You make yourself comfortable on the stool beside him while watching him, completely distracted from the chain of events that had brought you to this moment. It’s as though a domino in the line had fallen out of place, breaking the toppling effect to give you a break and as much as you don’t want to admit it, you find that you’re actually enjoying the evening now.

“So, why are you walking around with a drink in your boot?” Those dark eyes sweep back over to you again while Poe turns his head and after some consideration, his body turns, too. It’s now that you notice his shirt is open a button or two more than you’re expecting, revealing hints of a toned chest that’s covered in a light sheen under the lights. Maker, you can only imagine what his skin must feel like beneath your tongue. The warmth and the taste against the strong muscle while you drag it upwards along his throat -- no, stop. You need to stop. But you find that you can’t. Not now that your eyes follow the chain around his neck, right down to the ring that glints and glimmers against his chest.

Is he married? Was he married? You can only make up stories in your head about this stranger as you judge him based on what you can see.

“I bumped into someone…” You begin to explain.

“Do you do that often?” Poe’s response seems to bounce back instantly, the ball quickly falling into your court and keeping you on your toes in the most pleasant way.

“No, I got stuck. I mean, I got my jacket stuck. And then I stumbled and bumped into someone and…” You motion with your hands in an attempt to show him the way the liquid had fallen down your leg to fill your boot. His eyes practically sparkle as he presses his lips together in an attempt to keep himself from laughing at you.

“Don’t…” You warn him, despite a smile curling onto your lips again. “This is not a day to laugh at me, Poe.” There’s something that feels familiar in the way you speak his name, as though this isn’t the first time your mouth has formed the word. But, you can’t seem to place it. You’ve never met him before - That much you do know. You would remember someone this handsome.

“Is your sock wet?” The amusement drips from his voice now and he quickly glances back towards the bar as the two drinks are set down.

“Wet and sticky.” You laugh. Almost simultaneously, you reach for the glass at the same time as he does; your hand briefly grabbing his instead of the cold glass. The warmth is unexpected and not entirely unwelcome before you quickly snatch your arm back and throw an apologetic glance over at him. Somehow, you don’t think he seems to mind because he doesn’t flinch or try to pull back from the brief contact. Poe is still calm and collected as he pushes the glass towards you this time, helping you to avoid any further embarrassment. Why are you like this?

“Did you not think to take it off?”

“Take it off?” Your question doesn’t really answer his question as you take a sip of your drink and swallow down the bright liquid. It adds even more warmth to your body while it slides down your throat and seems to pool in your stomach, blazing a trail the whole way down. “I hadn’t really thought that far ahead.” You admit and then lick your lips to collect any lingering taste there.

That’s when you notice Poe’s eyes drop, almost in the exact same way yours had when mesmerized by his own lips. They seem to linger for a moment before he reminds himself to look back up to your eyes again, watching you with interest. You have his attention. And just to test that, you reach up to swipe your thumb against the corner of your lower lip -- his eyes instantly falling again to follow it. The initial attraction is no longer one-sided.

The sound of a glass smashing and cheering over the other side of the cantina breaks the moment as you both glance over, watching a group of friends laughing at a member of their group who had dropped a drink. Pity your boot wasn’t there to catch it. When you finally turn back to look at Poe again, he’s taking a couple of gulps from his drink; the muscles in his throat working with each swallow until he lowers his glass again. Look away. Look away. But all you can do is swallow thickly until he speaks again.

“Did you say you were here with friends?” That suave voice enters your thoughts and brings your attention to the present moment as Poe asks his next question, interested to learn more about you. He’s making easy conversation from the first thing you told him; your wet boot and the fact that you were here with friends to see some musician. Would you still rather be at home now?

“Yeah, they’re over…” You trail off as you sit up taller on the stool, attempting to look between heads and shoulders to spot your group in their booth. Eventually, you make eye contact with one of them and give them a small wave. “There.” Poe’s eyes follow yours to where more of them are looking now, pointing over at you and clearly having a discussion about the fact you're sitting at a bar with someone you’ve just met. You know, it’s not your usual style -- but there’s something about Poe that seems to draw you in after stumbling into his gravitational pull.

Poe also waves over to them and the look on Zee’s face is an absolute picture. You’ll fill her in about him later and how you ended up here.

“They look happy to be here.” He observes with amusement and he’s right. They really do. You’re not sure what they’re so excited about, but they’re practically buzzing as they talk amongst themselves while looking over at you again.

“They’re always happy to be here.”

“But you’d rather be at home?” Poe asks, as though he already knows your answer to that.

“Yes.” You tell him honestly and laugh again. “All day I’ve been thinking about drinking wine on my sofa and falling asleep.” Your truthfulness has him laughing this time and the sound is wonderful. It’s so rich and full of character as it rolls out from his chest, catching the attention of others around him. It’s a sound of happiness in its truest form; nothing forced, nothing fake - simply Poe enjoying the moment that he’s sharing with you.

“Yet, here you are.”

“Here I am.” You smile at him and take another sip of your drink.

“Willing to put yourself through the torture of listening to a shitty musician, just for your friends.” It’s you that laughs this time and you set your glass down, drying off the condensation against the side of your leg.

“You think he’s shitty, too?”

“Oh, the shittiest. Never seems to get any better.” Maker, he gets it. You’ve never actually heard the artist you’re here to see -- Hell, you can’t even think of the name now that you try, but Poe seems to understand. “But for what it’s worth, I’m glad you came.” There’s such honesty laced with his amusement and it momentarily catches you off-guard; your laughter falling silent while you watch him with a lingering smile.

“Yeah… Me too.”

An easy silence settles as you take the time to look over Poe’s face again, picking up subtle details that you may have overlooked the first time. The peppering of greys in his stubble, a small scar on his cheek and the way his eyelashes seem to fan out right at the ends of his upper lids. Those striking looks make it difficult to avert your eyes when his meet yours, so you hold them for a few seconds and simply smile at each other, as though already knowing where this encounter is going to end up.

But the man behind the bar interrupts the moment all-too soon; his presence in your periphery also catches Poe’s attention as he glances over at him.

“Is it that time already?” Poe asks and finishes his drink without ordering another. There’s a sense of disappointment settling in your stomach at the thought of this man leaving before you’d really got to know much about him.

“Got a few minutes, but they’re ready whenever you are.” The man taps the bar top a couple of times and then leaves Poe to it. But he’s already straightening up as his eyes find yours again and before he can say anything, your mouth is blurting out words you weren’t intending to voice out-loud.

“Are you leaving?” As much as you try to play this casually, there’s still a hint of disappointment in your voice and you know that he hears it.

“I am…” Poe trails off and then throws you a grin; it’s different to the smiles you’ve been getting out of him and you suddenly find out why. “Got some shitty music to play.” It takes you a few seconds, but then something clicks. A light comes on so suddenly in your brain and you feel your mouth open, then quickly close again -- a motion that you repeat a few times as everything begins to make sense.

“You’re-”

“I am.”

“No…” You trail off, feeling the heat of embarrassment rush to your face and the back of your neck. “Why didn’t you say something?” Maker, you’re mortified. You’ve been sitting here, indirectly complaining about being dragged to see him. He’s the shitty musician.

“You didn’t ask…” Poe trails off, as though it’s the most obvious point he could make. “But it was worth it. Your face, a real picture.” And then he pauses, as though he wants to say something before thinking better of it. Instead, he quips, “I hope your sock dries out.”

“Yeah, me too.” You smile and watch as his lips curve upwards to return it; the genuine quality of it bringing that same sparkle to his eyes before he finally steps away to make his way through the crowd of people. Within a few seconds, he’s gone from your sight and you exhale a heavy sigh before laughing to yourself. Maker. That was embarrassing, in the best possible way.

By the time you make it back to the booth -- luckily, with no more accidents -- the first song has already begun. Seconds. That’s all the time it takes for the cantina to fall silent; everyone seemingly absorbed in the man who takes command of the whole room with only his voice. There’s no theatrics, no big show -- just Poe. Poe, his guitar and a soothing voice that washes over the crowd.

And you have  to admit, he’s not a shitty musician. In fact, he’s far from it.

That melancholy voice stirs emotions inside of you that you weren’t expecting to feel tonight. They’re simultaneously heartwarming yet somber. His tones are gentle, yet rough. You’re no longer angry and frustrated at the events that had led to this moment; in fact, you’re far from it as you sit there with a soft, mellow smile on your face. Each song earns applause and sounds of approval from the crowd, causing the man on the stage to smile in the way that illuminates him brighter than the spotlight trained on him.

“There was no writing on the wall, no warning signs to follow... I know now, and I just can't forget... You're the best I never had.”

You can’t decide if it’s real or just wishful thinking, but it feels as though his eyes sweep across every so often to your direction, almost as if he still remembers where you had pointed out your friends to him earlier. You tell yourself that he’s not actually looking at you, not with all these other people in here who want to see him perform. But with each meeting of his gaze, it’s hard to convince yourself otherwise. It makes you feel almost giddy to think that in a cantina full of people, you still have his interest.

“In this motel, well past midnight... When I'm bluer than a bruise...”

It’s not a crush. It’s not. You’re not a kid, but it sure feels similar; it makes you smile and avert your eyes, it makes your stomach flip with a combination of excitement and longing to talk to him again. Maker, you want to be close enough to him to admire the way those eyelashes caress his skin with each blink, or the way his eyebrows raise to signal his amusement in conversation. You want to allow yourself to gravitate towards him again and lose track of time while appreciating the way he seems to listen to each word you speak.

But then, you swear everything momentarily stops. Everything around you becomes nonexistent, as though you’re the only person sitting there while your heartbeat kicks up a notch inside your chest.

“You come stumbling in, through the half-light, in your funny… wet boots.”

No, this isn’t a crush. In this very second, it’s a whole goddamn explosion of exhilarating amusement as you find yourself laughing out loud at the obvious change in Poe’s original lyrics. They don't even rhyme but they're about you. It’s endearing mockery and an attempt to draw you in. He knows that he has you because there’s a grin on his lips as he continues singing. Maker, how can one man be so kriffing charming?

Suddenly, you have a million reasons to be thankful you accepted the stupid invitation to come here tonight

You sit and listen to Poe’s captivating voice with a soft smile on your face, reveling in the intimacy he’s created between you with a simple reference to your shared joke. Despite the fact that this place is packed and he has a large audience hanging onto his every word, it almost feels like he’s singing for you.

As soon as the set is over, the bustle of the cantina resumes; everything becomes far too loud again. You can’t deny it, the good mood that you’re now in, mixed with the flow of drinks through Poe’s show has a relaxing buzz settling through your limbs while you try to keep up with the conversation going on in the booth.

“Another drink?” Zee motions to your empty glass that you’re still holding in your hand, having unknowingly finished it while distracted. You weigh your options and shake your head.

“No, thanks. I’m going to grab a smoke.” You politely decline and wait until she slides out of the booth so that you can follow as you pick up your jacket and slip it on. It’s still far too warm in there to be wearing layers, but you know the air outside carries a bite tonight.

Thankfully, your attempt to get out of the cantina is much more successful than the one getting in and you’re soon wrapping your arms around yourself as you step out of the way of the doors, trying to keep in some of the warmth you’d been willing to leave you earlier. Even from outside, you can still hear the muffled rumbles and voices coming from the other side of the wall.  A faint smile settles onto your lips as you slip a cigarette between them and make quick work of lighting it up.

No sooner are you exhaling the smoke and watching it curl upwards towards the cloudy sky, than the door to the cantina opens again and there’s a momentary rush of warm air spilling out into the cold night air. Your eyes slide over and that smile begins to curl further onto your lips as you watch Poe look to his right, then to his left before he spots you.

“Hey, Late.” His movements are almost a copy of yours as he steps out of the way of the door and comes to stand in front of you instead. “Your friend said I’d find you out here.” Of course she did. Your eyes move over Poe’s face, noticing that some of the curls you’d been staring at earlier were now damp and clinging to the skin around his temples from where he’d clearly been sweating while performing.

“Had to make my escape…” You trail off and lean back against the wall while you watch him. “Could only take so much of that musician.” This earns you a laugh while you pull the small, compact tin from your pocket that has your rolled cigarettes inside and offer it to Poe. “Want one?”

“Don’t mind if I do.” Poe doesn’t need to step as close to you as he does while accepting one of your cigarettes, nor does he need to rest his hand against yours while dipping his head when you offer him a light, but he does. And the smallest contact of his hand brushing against yours creates the same tingling sensation as it had when reaching for the glass at the same time.

Poe frowns slightly as he takes a deep drag from the cigarette and then exhales slowly; his tongue licking at his lips, which momentarily distracts you from everything else. The lower one glistens in the lights strung up outside of the cantina and it takes every bit of self control you have not to step forwards and kiss him. And he knows it. It’s written all over his face while he watches you without saying anything.

An easy silence settles as you take turns drawing from your cigarettes; you, still leaning against the wall and letting your eyes drink in every inch of him while he stands before you, doing the exact same. Occasionally, you share a smile when your eyes meet his and hold him in a lingering gaze. He’s still just as handsome as the moment he caught you; his striking looks having stolen your words from you while you’d tried to compose yourself.

But now he was so much more. Charming, yet a tease, with a voice that could melt like butter and ooze a delightful softness. But there was something about him that was rough around the edges; a rugged energy that drew you in and made you want to know more.

“Do you want to grab some food with me?” Poe finally speaks after what feels like the longest time. Food? With this man? Your smile tells him your answer before you’ve spoken a word, yet you still take a few seconds to keep him hanging before you finally nod.

“I’d like that.” Your answer has that smile curling over his lips again as the corner of his eyes crinkle softly.

“Yeah, me too.” Poe throws your last words to him from earlier right back at you as he holds out his arm, and with the final drag on your cigarette, you discard it and push yourself away from the wall so that you can link your arm through his.

Maybe coming to see a shitty musician hadn’t been such a bad idea after all.

--------

Taglist: @the-scandalorian @fett-ching @ohkarabast @salome-c @dinjarin-baket @meanperegrine @uncle-kenobi (hope you don't mind me tagging you, fellow poe hoe 💖) @the-little-ewok @mypedrom (didn't forget you this time sweetie 💖)

[shotofire]

Impulse

LEVI ACKERMAN x F!READER

Overview: In which you have trouble respecting Captain Levi, and he shows you whos in charge

Warnings: cursing, filthy smut, hair pulling, spanking, dirty talk, choking, degrading, angst, toxic relations, biting, oral, creampie

Season: Not specified

-

Most would jump off a cliff before they even thought about talking back to the Captain Levi. Then there was you, the girl who sure had a mouth on them. At first you treated the Captain with respect and followed orders, but then he became too pushy. You’d never liked when others barked orders at you, or told you to do one thing after another. It was common sense that things were done more sufficiently if you take your time and not rush. Captain Levi wanted things done quickly, no questions asked.

Personally, you didn’t like the guy. One could not deny that he was extremely attractive, and when you had first saw him he’d sparked your interest. Then he decided to open his mouth and it ruined the entire fantasy you had playing out.

He expected way too much out of his squad sometimes, and you really wished Erwin hadn’t assigned you to him. You were incredibly skilled but lacked discipline and could be lazy at times. There was a reason he’d put you with Levi, but you had yet to realize it.

To you Levi was a ego driven asshole who thought he was better because of his rank. He always had your squad out late running laps, and cleaning whatever he wanted you to. Purification of whatever he found unfit had to be your least favorite thing in the world. You’d been raised on a farm and constantly had to clean, then you joined the scouts thinking it’d be all action. Then your Captain has you shoveling horse shit several times a week, and for what exactly? You had no clue. There was no way this was benefitting to your skills at all, it’s not like you had to clean titan shit.

The worst part was that Levi would only make you clean it all by yourself. The rest of your squad got the  luxury of sweeping, dusting, or mopping. Then there was you trying not to throw up every five minutes while the smell of shit and piss is filling your head. It was hell and you about had enough. You’d kept your mouth shut at that point telling yourself over and over to be the bigger person. You had reached a breaking point when a horse nearly kicked you in the face, you had to get off of Levi’s squad.

That day you stomped to Commander Erwins office full set of getting assigned to a new squad. Erwin had a weird soft spot for you, mainly because he knows your tragic past. He tried his best not to let it show, favoritism wasn’t something he liked to reveal. Harsh knocks echo through the mans office and he flinched, “You may come in.” There you are bursting through the door out of breath and cheeks flaming red.

The sight was somewhat scary, but only because you looked like you were about to rip someone’s head off. The first thing you saw, that only added to the anger, was Captain Levi himself sitting across from Erwin. Why the hell does he have to be here? You thought as your hands balled into firsts.

Everyone knew you had a temper problem. That was another reason Erwin saw you fit for Levi’s squad. Levi didn’t like people who couldn’t control themselves, so he wanted to put you in your place. So far all he’s done is increase your irritability and make you want to punch him in the face. “I want to be on another squad, I can’t take anymore of Captain Levi,” you stare ahead at Erwin, not even acknowledging Levi. The raven-haired man look at you with narrowed eyes and a scowl, someone really needed to put you in your place.

“Coming into my quarters without stating your name or business will get you nowhere, neither will that tone,” Erwin said, he couldn’t believe the way you were acting. You huffed at his words, patience wearing thin. “To hell with my tone!” Levi and Erwin’s eyes widen and their mouths fall open.

Not once has a cadet talked or acted in this manner of disrespect, you had some nerve. Levi was infront of you in almost an instant, backing you up against the door as his breath fanned over your face. “You need to learn how to respect your Captain and your Commander, or i’ll have you sent to the military police. Stop acting as if you’re entitled to be treated like a princess when all you are is a brat,” he spits in your face.

It took everything in you to not knee the man in his groin. You look away from him to Erwin, seeing his armed crosses at his chest. All of you knew your actions just now we’re not justified and you shouldn’t be talking to your superiors that way. But what Levi was doing right now was completely degrading. The Commander wasn’t big on Levi’s approach, but he let him follow through. He was your Captain after all, he treated you how he saw fit. You grabbed the knob that was pushing into your back and opened the door, causing Levi to stumble back a bit. “I hate men,” you mumbled before slamming the door.

A few cadets stood outside the room with wide eyes and jaws ajar. They had heard the whole thing, some wondered how you were still alive. “What the fuck do you want?” You yelled with gritted teeth. They didn’t say a word, only scattered away. If you could talk to the superiors like that and not get your ass kicked there was no telling what you were capable of deep down.

Levi and the Erwin looked at one another with shocked expressions. “She needs to be put in her place,” Levi grunts. No cadet had pushed his buttons like you have. Erwin held the bridge of his nose with his thumb and pointer finger, eyes pressed shut. “She’s a lot like the way you used to be, you know. You gave me a hard time, I guess she’s your karma,” Erwin said somewhat amused. Levi didn’t find anything funny, not even in the slightest.

It had been a few weeks since the incident and Levi hadn’t let you catch a break. If anything things got worse, and you were doing more shit back to back. He went as far as to make you do dishes at breakfast, lunch, and dinner for a straight two weeks. Your attitude had gotten worse as well and insulting the Captain to his face had become a regular occurrence. “(y/n), I want you to clean the stables and then strip all the cadets beds. The sheets need cleaning,” he said to you with a smirk on his face. Your squad stood in a side by side line as he gave you each a chore. Everyone’s was simple and would only take maybe an hour, but yours would cost the rest of the day. “You’re such a prick,” you said with an enraged tone.

Some of your squad gasps while the others had already grown used to it. Levi wasn’t going to stop until you did, it was stubbornness against stubbornness. Even if you did insult him and yell profanities in his face you’d still do as he said. He got such joy out of ordering you around. “And you’re such a brat,” he said back with an amused smile. Before you could think your hand was starting to swing through the air, your squads face watched in horror. He grabbed your wrist right before it made contact with his face, his eyes never left yours. That was kind of hot, you thought and automatically wanted to slap yourself.

His hand remained on your wrist and his grip tightened, causing you to whimper in pain. “Go to what i’ve asked of you cadets,” he says with that same shit eating grin on his face. They all run away with startled expressions. “Let me go,” you tried to rip away your hand but it was no use. “After you’re done with your tasks come to my quarters, no matter how late it is. Also take a shower before you get anywhere near me, you smell like shit.” You scoffed at his words, “Eat fucking shit, Levi.” Calling him by his name really pissed him off, you hadn’t call him Captain since the Erwin office visit. He let go of your wrist finally and walked off, leaving you vision blurred with anger.

Your fellow cadets didn’t say a word as your sweaty form stripped their beds. The smell coming off of you was gag worthy, but they didn’t dare provoke you. If you could talk to Levi in that manner there was no telling what you’d do to them.

One wrong look and you’d knock their teeth out, no questions asked. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t half-ass clean those stables. But the afternoon was coming in and you still had to clean and hang everyone’s sheets. That would take longer than anything, and you’d probably miss out on lunch and dinner. You sat out in the sun pushing one smelly sheet into the bucket of soap and water after another. The boys bed linen almost made you throw up a few times. Did they ever bath?

After soaking them they were hung up to dry, and with the beaming sun hopefully it wouldn’t take too long. You thought about the whole reason you’d basically became a maid, Captain Levi. The man had his mind set on making your life a living hell, and you returned the favor. The threat to send you back to the military police didn’t scare you one bit, it wasn’t going to happen. You were more skilled at killing titans than anyone else on your squad, and almost all the others. Loosing you would be a great loss for the scouts, and you knew it. Some thought, if it came down to it, you could totally kick Levi’s ass. He had heard that one day and it only exasperated the man further. His ego was bigger than a mountain and that chipped the top off of it.

As the sheets dried you were able to attend lunch, but just barely. Most had already finished and were doing combat training. You managed to stuff down a few pieces of bread to keep you moving for the rest of the day. When you returned back to you duties over half of them had dried and you jumped up and down with joy.

You celebrated too fast, and Levi was coming towards you quickly. The sight made you want to vanish in thin air, what could he possibly want now? “I took a look at the stables, you didn’t even clean half of it.” Of course he went and checked. “I’ll finish it,” you grumbled. He was shocked that he didn’t get a smart response, you just didn’t have the energy to deal with him right now.

The rest of the sheets dried and you returned them to each bed. You had never felt like such a maid before, having to make beds for grown adults. Knowing you had to finish cleaning the stables almost brought you to the edge of tears. All you wanted was to lay in your bed and sleep, to relax the pain filling out your lower back. Pure stench filled your senses as you entered the stables, each horse eyeing you. To be honest these horses scared you, their beady judgemental eyes reminded you of Levi. Thinking about that made you snort out loud, your next insult was definitely going to be telling him he looked like a damn horse.

The sun had set by the time you’d finished, and you wouldn’t be surprised if most had already gone to sleep. Thoughts of your bed made you crack a smile before letting out a deep yawn. You headed straight for the showers, stripping yourself of your sticky clothing. As the satisfaction of hot water ran over your body you sighed and closed your eyes. It was a great feeling that you truly needed.

The happiness was short lived as you remembered that Levi wanted you in his office once you were finished. You wanted to scream at the thought, why the hell does he want to see you? The man can’t stand you so why would he spend his after hours to talk to you? There was no point if he was just going to insult you, but you had no choice.

After getting dressed and somwhat drying your hair, you drag your feet to Levi’s office. You stare at the door for a few seconds, contemplating just going to bed. That would ensure a even more hell filled day tomorrow, so you went ahead and knocked on the door. This shouldn’t last long anyways, right? He’s gonna throw a few insults and you’re gonna leave, easy as that. “Come in,” his deep voice says. You open the door, shut it behind you, and start walking up to his desk. He didn’t expect you to state your name or salute him, so he wasn’t too fazed. You sit down in the wooden chair on the other side of his desk, eyes laced with annoyance. He takes in your state, you looked completely beat.

“Do you know why you’re here (y/n)?” He questioned, his fingers interlocked as they sat upon his desk. The man was trying to be all serious but you weren’t in anyway intimidated. “Nope, but i’d appreciate it if you’d hurry up. See I just did all your dumb chores for you and i’m fucking tired.” The Captain presses his lips in a straight line. He stands up from his seat, moving to your side of the desk and sitting on the edge of it.

He’s close to you now, frame above yours. You look up at him, feeling small under his gaze. “That right there, the unnecessary attitude. I’m tired of you thinking you’re better than everyone, when i’m reality you’re just an entitled brat.” So he’d called you here to argue? You didn’t care how tired you were, this man wasn’t going to walk all over you.

You stand up, eye to eye with him, and growl in his face. “I’m the one who thinks i’m entitled? You order everyone around like some King, Well guess what your highass, no one likes you! You’re just some higher rank motherfucker who thinks their life is more valuable than anyone else. When will you face reality and see we’re not different!” You yell in his face, not holding back at all. Your faces were so closer, barely touching.

The air fell silent at your words and he looked into your eyes. Maybe what he was about to do was pure impulse and should be thought over. But he’s already slamming his lips onto yours in a hungry kiss before he can really think it over. He was baffled when your lips moved with his, tongues already slipping against one another. You couldn’t believe you were kissing him right now, but you couldn’t find it within you to stop.

In one swift move Levi had your back pressed on his desk as he hovered over you, the kiss only intensifying. His fingers pressed at your sides and you let out lights moans onto his lips, only boosting his ego. When his lips moved to your neck you realized what was happening, “What the hell.” Levi heard you mumble and only chuckled. His lips bite and suck at your nape and you can’t hold back the sounds coming from your lips. “I fucking hate you,” you said through clenched teeth.

It was aggravating that you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him to stop, you didn’t even want him to. His pillow lips felt like heaven against your skin and you already felt your core start to dampen. After those words pass your lips hes pressing his hand to your neck, stopping any air from making its way in. “Hate me all you want, but I know you’re dying for me to fuck you right now. I bet you’d even beg me,” he said with a smirk. His hand stays wrapped around your neck as his other hand pulls your shorts down your legs. “See, you’re already wet.” He eyes the visible mark on your underwear with a devilish smile.

He lets go of your neck and you immediately start coughing, he was for sure insane. Before you could collect yourself he was biting the inside of your thigh, causing you to yelp. He sucked harshly at the delicate skin and you wince away from his touch. He’s fast to grab your thighs with a firm grip, and you’re unable to move away. You gasp as he licks a long stripe on your still covered core. “So sensitive,” he coos.

You’d die before you admitted it, but Levi looked so incredibly sexy right now. His eyes were sparkling with lust and his lips were a light shade of red from the kissing. His fingers loops on the sides of your underwear and he yanks them off. You watch as he bites his lower lip, eyeing your wet pussy. Before you can even think, his lips are attaching to where you needed him the most.

A long high pitched moan slips past your lips and you’re positive someone had to have heard you. His mouth works against you and you’re a complete mess. You fall onto your back and raise your hips, but his arms are fast to push you back onto the surface. His left hand leaves your waist, and soon he’s plunging two fingers into your hole. “Holy fuck!” You yell in complete ecstasy, eyes rolling into the back of your head. You feel your high approaching as his fingers and mouth continue to work. “Yes, yes! Please don’t stop,” you say with tears forming in your eyes. He smiles at your words, feeling accomplished. His lips wrap around your bundle of nerves and it send you over the edge. Your legs shake as he sends you through your orgasm.

Before you could even collect yourself he was ripping your shirt over your head, and then his own. He nearly breaks your bra trying to get it off, and you snort at him. You sit up so he doesn’t have to struggle, “I still hate you.” He ignores your words and flips your body over so that you’re facing away from him. The sound of his pants being pulled down makes your stomach drop, shit. You were really about to have sex with this asshole. He enters you without any warning and you let out your loudest moan yet. The man doesn’t bother giving you time to adjust as his hips start moving at a ungodly speed. Your nails dig into the desk at the feeling. Levi was much bigger than you anticipated, definitely the biggest you had ever been with.

The sound of skin slapping together fills the air, mixed with your constant moans. His hand comes down to smack you ass, making red handprints in your skin. The stinging sensation brought you pleasure, and he noticed. His hand cracked down harder and you yelled out in pain and pleasure. “Fuck, if I would’ve know you were such a slut I would’ve already fucked you,” he says breathlessly. He grabs that hair at your scalp, pulling you back into his chest. He fucks up into you harder and you can’t think straight. His fingers stay tangled in your hair as his lips attack your neck, leaving small purple marks on your skin.

“Tell me how much you love it,” he whispers in your ear, “Tell me you love my cock.” The filthy words made you shiver even though your body was on fire. You didn’t answer, mustering up words as fucked you ruthlessly was nearly impossible. He lets go of your scalp, making you fall forward. He grabs ahold of your waist and pushes himself into you deeper, making your mouth fall open. “Tell me, now,” he says before pulling back and shoving himself deeply again. “I love your cock,” you say with tear filled eyes. He smirks in gratification and somehow manages to move his hips even faster. Soon your legs are shaking once again as you reach your second orgasm.

Levi pulls out of you harshly and you’re left limp on his desk. Arms wrap around your frail body and carry you into his bedrooom that was connected to his office. The feeling of the soft bed makes you sigh, it was a lot better than your own. He’s already back between your legs, and you finally get to take in his toned body.

You sit up to run your fingers up and down his stomach, feeling him flinch under your touch. His breath hitches when you keep moving down, fingering wrapping around his still hard dick. You pump your wrist a few times and his eyes shut at the feeling. You guide him back to your aching hole, wanting more. As he enters you, you throw your head back.

He starts moving, hips hitting yours harshly. His elbows sit on either side of your head as he fucks you into the mattress. Foreheads press against one another and his eyes stare into yours. The sight was new to you, his eyes were sparkling differently than in the beginning. You’d never seen this side of Levi, he actually looked loving. “God, you’re so beautiful,” he said breathlessly. Your stomach flipped at his words, it was the first nice thing he’d said to you. To be honest, you didn’t even know he was capable of being nice. Yet he’d just let a compliment slip past his lips.

You legs wrapped around his waist, helping him go deeper. The feeling of your third orgasm approaching had you seeing double. Levi pressed his lips against yours in a sweet kiss as you moan through your high, and he comes undone inside of you. The room is filled with heavy breathing as you two try to compose yourself.

Levi is the first to say something, “I’m sorry.” You sit up quickly and look at him confused. “I ordered you around like a dog and it wasn’t right. You just have so much pride,” his eyes look at the ceiling, “I wish I could be like that.” You smile softly, he was just damaged more than you knew. “I’m sorry for shit talking you in front of everyone,” you say and can’t help but let out a light laugh.

He smiles and closes his eyes, “you’re still a brat.”

[anika-ann]

In the Strangest Place (We Just Might Find Love) - Pt.2

Type: two-shot, pretty much canon

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader     Word count: 2750

Summary: You’re hiding from your boss in a supply closet, minding your own business, when a stranger joins you unexpectedly.

Steve is not entirely a stranger anymore; he knows about your troubles and you know about his. And he’s determined to sort out yours this very moment.

Warnings: mention of sexual harassment, a bit of angst, language, something that might be close to a panic attack if you squint

A/N: There we go... hopefully I’ll make mid-week a bit sweeter for some of you ;)

Part 1

“Alright, kids. Let’s have a trip.”

And you just stared.

…what?

“W-what?” you stuttered, suddenly consumed by the familiar feeling of losing the firm ground under your feet at the idea of trying to confront Gregory head-on. Not even Steve at your side was helping at all as the four of you started walking towards the IT department.

“I-I don’t have any prove! I can’t-- he told me he would--- that he would-”

“That he’d twist it around, convince the HR that you were crushing on him and he turned you down, which turned you into a soulless bitch craving revenge?” the billionaire finished for you and you just uselessly opened you mouth, unable to let out a word to deny it. It seemed to amuse him, because he scoffed; and there was something very bitter in that sound too. “Kid, he’s not the first asshole to take advantage of his superior position. I’ve seen the types. Relax. If Cap here believes you, then so do I. Plus, I know a liar when I see one. And you ain’t lying.”

You breathed in shakily, a flicker of hope igniting in your chest. Could it really be so easy? That couldn’t be right…

“T-thank you, Mr. Stark. I-”

“Yeah, yeah, just name your first kid after me,” Mr. Stark uttered, waving it off.

The Falcon next to you chuckled and you shot Steve a confused gaze. Was that how Mr. Stark usually was? You had never met him in person; you had only ever heard him giving a speech on TV and you knew he had a certain reputation, but this was… different.

You were surprised to find Steve watching you; perhaps he worried about your reaction to such bluntness, since he had seen your outburst in the closet. Upon meeting your gaze – probably shy and undeniably surprised – he charmed a tiny smile for you.

“It’s gonna be okay, see?”

“What are you even worried about? You have three Avengers coming with you!” Mr. Wilson questioned lightly and you bit your lower lip as you thought of the source of anxiety indeed.

Yeah, I have three Avengers and they are all men. Sue me for not being sure which side they would take – not until now.

“You’re not a full-time Avenger, Wilson.”

Falcon gasped, clutching at his chest theatrically at Stark’s remark. “Ouch, Tony. My heart.”

You let out a breathy laugh at their banter and felt yourself relax despite your better judgement. You almost let yourself believe it truly would go alright. Well, as much as dealing with such shitty thing could.

“You’re all my heroes,” you whispered timidly, which earned you a bright smile from Sam Wilson.

“Thank you, ma’am.”

“Cruel, Birdboy. You stole the old man’s line,” Mr. Stark hummed, amused.

“Heh! Sorry, Cap. But I’m sure you have a whole set of other lines to use on her.”

You choked on your own spit as Steve faltered in his steps, his grip on you growing stronger. What the hell did the Falcon just say?

“Oh my God, Wilson, shut up before we get stuck with another harassment report.”

“I don’t think this a subject for joking,” Steve interjected, slightly irritated, and you shot him a grateful look, because he definitely had a point.

Except… once you weren’t in such a sticky situation, you totally wouldn’t mind Steve Rogers using a line on you. Not at all. And his hand around yours felt nice for multiple reasons, the wordless comfort and support only being one of them. It was warm and slightly calloused, a reminder of his physical work, and it was bigger than yours, so sweetly and distractingly enveloping yours…

But now it was so not the time.

Your peculiar group approached the office and you didn’t even have the time to brace yourself as Tony Stark simply threw the door open, not bothering to knock.

“Thomas Ian Gregory, you are fired this very second,” the billionaire exclaimed dramatically.

You would think he was just being a drama queen, except he sounded deadly serious, using your boss’ full name which he must have read out on the door, and his eyes were throwing daggers at the man sitting behind the desk, looking as if he was the fucking king of the world.

Your boss blinked in surprise and eyed all four of you; Falcon with his arms crossed on his chest, Ironman minus his suit with a murderous glare and a hand raised towards him as if he wanted to point a finger and then Gregory’s gaze fell on your hand connected with Steve’s; you wanted to retrieve it quickly, but Steve wouldn’t let you, his grip growing firm. Anger flashed through your boss’ eyes for a second, before he composed himself and rose from his chair with an innocently confused expression.

You wanted to puke and you felt your legs turning into a shaking mess of jello. This was it. Now he would use his slimy words to turn this situation around and you were about to get fired and humiliated so much that jumping under a bus would be the most likeable option for you.

“Mr. Stark, it’s an honour. Captain Rogers, Mr. Wilson. What do I owe the pleasure?”

You couldn’t believe this--- this pig. Seriously. Who the fuck did he think he was?! How could he--- just lie so easily, pretending that everything was perfectly fine?!

But Tony Stark was not fooled by the charade and you mentally sighed in relief, sure they must have heard the weight falling off of your shoulders even in Jersey.

“I’m sure you heard me, Mr. Gregory. You quit and you’ll be hearing from the HR soon. And you’ll be damn lucky if this young lady right here won’t sue you.”

You honestly wished you were invisible when Gregory’s gaze flickered to you, subtle anger with a promise of consequences in his irises – consequences that would come should you not cut this bullshit right now.

“I’m afraid I don’t understand, Mr. Stark. If this is about the unfortunate feelings my assistant has for me-”

Tears of rage and baseless shame stung in your eyes at his words and you breathed in sharply to defend yourself; before you could, Gregory continued.

“Though I can see they weren’t very… honest. Obviously my inferior seems to be the ‘love them and leave them’ type, which I should warn you about, Capta-”

Breathless at his malicious made-out theories, you did not expect Steve to drop your hand in favour to tower over your boss, making him shut up with one single glare.

Alright, you could see why he had thought that simply appearing at your office would make Gregory tremble in fear. Your boss actually backed off and learnt onto a table, looking as if he was supporting himself under the weight of Steve’s judgement.

“I met this woman for the first time not half an hour ago, hiding from you, too scared of your dirty hands to return to her own workplace. Trust me, it left an impression, just like you are leaving one now,” Steve grunted menacingly, causing your heart to pound in your chest in fright even with his words not aimed on you. “If I can give an advice, you pack your things as fast as you can, apologize to her profusely, begging for her forgiveness and you don’t set a foot in this building or speak to her ever again. Do we have an understanding?”

You weren’t the only one affected. Your boss tried to reciprocate Captain America’s glare, but he failed miserably. He visibly gulped and circled his desk, still watching the soldier as if he was expecting to get hit; then his eyes just dropped to his desk and he frantically started picking random things from it.

You watched the scene in front of you, paralyzed. Your heart was beating its way out of your chest, pulsing in your temples, your breathing alternating between hitching and picking up. Your vision started to swim.

Holy. Shit.

“Cap, I think you broke her.”

Steve spun to you at instant, his eyes roaming your face; or you thought so. He looked worried now; or you thought so. Thinking and frankly evaluating the stimuli your senses were receiving was a bit difficult at the moment.

What the hell had just happened?

Gentle hands took yours, leading you out of the room. You blindly followed, unsure how to put one foot in front of the other, your body running on autopilot.

It was over. Thomas Gregory was no longer your boss and it had happened without you losing your job. And Steve Rogers had scolded him as if he was a five-year old kid – a very pervert one, but a kid nonetheless. Steve put a fucking fear of God into him. All of that happening within three minutes. And you just… couldn’t quite process all that.

You barely registered getting into and out of an elevator, being seated on a couch, having a blanket tossed over your shoulders and a cup of warm liquid pressed into your hands. You automatically brought it to your lips, only to be stopped by a tender fingers curling around your wrist.

“Careful. It might be too hot,” a pleasant voice warned you and you blinked, finally focusing your gaze, finding rather worried and very handsome face staring back.

You glanced at the cup, surprised to identify the drink as Steve’s hand let go of yours.

“Is that… is that hot chocolate?” you stuttered, bewildered. Well, more like… astonished.

“Yeah. You’re not allergic to milk or anything, are you?”

You looked up back to Steve’s face, only to find him with his brows furrowed in concern, lips thoughtfully pursed. It snapped you to action.

“No! No. It’s just… I didn’t have one in years. Thank— thank you.”

His expression cleared, as he was evidently pleased with himself. “Good. You’re welcome.”

The words fell off his lips so easily. As if he just hadn’t… hadn’t saved your career. Or your mental health, really.

You eyed the table by the couch, setting the cup down, only to fully turn to him. He seemed a bit confused at that; but God, you had something important to say and since you didn’t want to give up the blanket just yet, you decided to get rid of the mug at least to look less pathetic.

“No, Steve, I… thank you,” you whispered sincerely, feeling tears in your eyes for like a millionth time that day. His smile widened a little.

“You’re welcome. I’m sorry if I… if I scared you down there. It wasn’t meant for you.”

“You didn’t-” you blurted out in attempt to deny it and make him feel better, only to waver as his eyebrow rose, picture perfect of doubt. It made you chuckle at yourself self-deprecatingly. “It’s not your fault that I was… surprised by your little hulk-out. I guess I just didn’t see it coming.”

“Hulk-out, huh? How do you feel?”

You shrugged, exhaling slowly, thinking hard about your answer.

“Like I just watched my life take a way better turn that I would expect... and I’m still only watching,” you whispered honestly, which led to his face twisting in a grimace.

“Anything I can do?”

You couldn’t help it; you scanned your surroundings, realizing you were in something that looked fancy enough to belong to Tony Stark and was way too big to be part of an actual apartment. You ran your hand down the blanket covering your shoulders, reaching for the abandoned cup to blow on it softly and take a careful sip of chocolate. Steve’s questioning gaze observed you while you did so and you smiled blissfully into the cup as the delicious rich taste caressed your tongue.

“You mean besides comforting me despite being a complete stranger, getting my harassing boss fired and scaring the hell out of him, taking me to--- here, giving me a blanket and making the best cup of hot chocolate I had in years? Give me a second, I’m sure I’ll figure out something else,” you babbled and Steve’s smile grew, tense shoulders relaxing. “Seriously, Steve. This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. I owe you. I- I know you’re a hero and all that, but… yeah. I should be asking you what I could do for you in return.”

“That’s not-- I’m not--- ...you make a pleasant company,” he said in the end as if he realized he couldn't deny any of the things you had listed. You lowered your gaze to the chocolate as his eyes twinkled at the statement.

“Ditto.”

“Does that-” he blurted out and you tilted your head to side, watching him curiously when he stopped talking just as abruptly. “This is a terrible timing, but that’s apparently an infamous quality of mine, because usually I wait too long, and… uhm…”

Your heart skipped a beat at the suddenly embarrassed soldier scratching the back of his neck, peeking at your through his eyelashes. Was that--- was he trying to-? No, it couldn’t be.

“Yeah?” you softly encouraged him to continue.

He wetted his lips, causing your previously tight gut to warm up.

“I understand that it’s the last thing you’re thinking about right now, but… when you settle down again... and things are a bit calmer for you… would you- uhm,  like to… maybe spend some more time with--- with me?”

If he had blurted the sentence in one go, you would have dropped your mug in surprise despite suspecting this incredible thing when he had turned bashful. But he didn’t so your brain had enough time to process the words slowly leaving his lips, one after another, little shy, little hopeful. Your heart was speeding up with each of them, ready to burst when he finished with a tiny nervous smile.

Well. How could you possibly say no to that irresistible creature in front of you? You smiled into your drink.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

His face lit up. “Really?”

You wanted to chuckle at the pure surprise on his face, but it was just too endearing and so you had to fight the urge to make an embarrassing sound like an aww instead.

“Yeah, Steve. I’d really like that,” you repeated, hiding the teasing note in your voice. “But you’ve got to teach me how to make a chocolate that good, because seriously, it tastes amazing.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” you demanded, a bit hurt, rather surprised. “I don’t want you to give up your secret recipe right away! Just… in time.”

He grinned at you boyishly, leaning a bit closer to you. You held your breath in anticipating, a the change. “I could. But then I wouldn’t get to enjoy the process of preparing it for you and your smile in return.”

You stared at him for few moments, taking the statement in, wondering if he was teasing you or was being serious. The corners of his lips were quirked up as if he was indeed joking, but there was a certain spark of honesty in his eyes.

You decided to play along, whether it was a game or not. Perhaps it was the relief of newly found freedom from a sleazy man in your life that plucked up your courage and woke up your jovial side.

“Aww, Steve, that’s so sweet. Is that your way of telling me you’re planning on spoiling me? Because then I would need significantly less time to… settle down.”

His grin widened at your words. “Is that so?”

“Mm.”

“Well then…” he brought up lowly, torturing you with anticipation when he didn’t continue, only to watch you with a mischievous smile.

“...then?”

“What are your plans for Friday evening?”

Oh, you were so glad you were sitting, because otherwise the force of the moment in which Steve Rogers asked you out on Friday night would knock you down.

You tried to think of an answer that wouldn’t sound like an over-enthusiastic YES, but his blue eyes staring into yours made it very difficult for you.

Dammit, it was harder to talk to him when you could actually see--- you smiled smugly at the idea that popped up in your head and raised an eyebrow in silent challenge.

“I’m hiding in a supply closet. Why, you wanna join me?”

Steve burst out laughing, throwing his head back with that sound and the picture armed your heart so thoroughly it was unfair.

“Sure thing. Would you like me to bring muffins and coffee or do you prefer an actual dinner?”

You found yourself laughing too and you suddenly believed that your life would indeed get better. It already had, after all.

S.R. masterlist

Beautiful divider by @whimsicalrogers 

Thank you for the kind feedback on the first part and I hope you liked this one too :))

Thank you for reading!

[who-ever-said-i-was-nice]

Hey there! ^^ Can I please get a (suitors of your choice cuz I can't decide) with an MC who can turn anything into a song? Like the lyrics and beat automatically come into her mind? Thank you!!! :)

-Venus

When did this get here? Like i don't even know. I am now convinced i live in like a timeloop. Anywho. It was a nive surprise don't get me wrong. I just feel bad now for not noticing. I also saw you sent in a match-up? Idk let me know if I'm wrong or right. Now on to the hcs.

Warnings: None; not proof read

Note: if you like this please, heart or reblog it, it really helps my work do better so thank you if you do any of those

Ikevamp suitors x reader who turns everything into a song

Leonardo

Oh boy

You have unleashed the curios Leo and now you can't leve his grasp

He heard when you where joking around with Dazai

He said spme stupid pun and you sang your answer back to him

Leo was like:????👀🤭😎

Watzed over the you like:

" Wow Cara mia. Care to tell me where you learned that?"

Bombards you with questions

Now he always stays within earshot of you just so he can hear you sing

Arthur

Ok so when he hears you drumming and humming to yourself in the bathroom while you where putting away some towels

Hahaha!

Piece of teasing shit Arthur: activate.

Walks up to you when you start putting away your hairbrush

" My my, luv, didn't know you could make such pretty noises" 😎😎😎

Bad idea

You whacked him with the brush

" Oh, bloody hell, what was that for!"

But he can't help but laugh

Your to cute

Since that moment when he hers you singing he will join in

Will twirl you around and dance with you a little

Honestly just very cute

Mozart

This salty cracker

You little salty caramel ice-cream

I should stop comparing him to food, now I'm hungry

Anyway

He hears when he was walking back to your shared bedroom one night

He heard someone singing softly

As to not disturb he quietly opened the door and slipped in

He found you sitting on the window sill singing softly about the beautiful night sky and the soft wind that blew your words away, words that will never reach the ears of your lover

When you finished your bittersweet tune, Mozart clapped

He has never heard anything more beautiful

He pulles you into his arms and whispers

"Y/n you managed to surprise me every time. Once again you have me falling. You have captured my heart with your gentle sides song. My muse, will you sing for me again?"

He places a soft kiss to the tip of your nose and honestly, who are you to deny him

From then on Mozart always listenes to you sing

And sometimes, he even accompanies you with the piano

Sebastian

He was just trying to clean the library And the Arthur, Dazai and Isaac happened

They matched in and made a mess of everything

And they are so loud

Sebastian could not take it

He vowed to serve le Comte and the residents but he was at the end of his line for that day

He left the library saying he was going to give them privacy and went to the kitchen

When he entered he saw you tapping some spoons and singing a melody

"I met a boy from different time-line

He promised to give me a life time

Of love, oh oh

Of love

He works all day, what a busy man

He takes care of the house so I understand

Be he promised to give me a life time

Of love

And he does, yes he does

Yes he moves mountains for me

And he does, yes he does

I want to stay right here with thee"

Surprised pikachu face

He just walks up to you and gives you a hug

You are a bit startled but relaxed quickly

"Thank you, love. You always give me strength to continue"

"Now now Seb, don't you get all sappy on me"

"You really know how to ruin the mood"

You both laughed and he kissed you qently

Since that day, you guys always dance around the kitchen together while you sing.

William

He heard you when you where singing to Puck

He had previously told you that he had to got to the theater for a while

And now you where singing a sad song about how much you missed him

It wasn't an actual song it was just vers after vers after vers

You poured all the longing into it

He stood there and smiled to himself

His little bunny

"Such an enchanting voice"

You whipped around not expecting him to be there

He walked up to you and wrapped his arms around you

"If 't be true thee did miss me so much, thee couldst has't toldeth me. But w'rry not by quaint bunny, i shall giveth thee all the loveth thee singeth f'r."

(If you missed me so much, you could have told me. But don't worry by pretty bunny, I will give you all the love you sing for.) (hopefully it is correct)

Anyway he made sure to give you the attention you wated

Aka

Cuddles!

Yes cuddles, you nasty get your head out of the gutter

From then on he will always ask you to sing for him

Look what I orchestrated are you proud? I'm kidding, I hope you enjoy!

[pain-in-the-butler]

The time has come once again

The Bloodbath

“I’m simply one hell of a butler” says Sebastian as he starts cleaning as usual

Okay so Agni’s taking no prisoners

Work Nerd, Science Nerd, and Jock Nerd team up to form the Nerd Trifecta

Team One Brain Cell joins up with Phipps, who is quite possibly their only chance for survival

Ran-Mao remembers how Harcourt beat everyone in the unfortunately deleted round and said “Not in my backyard”

So far, everyone else has simply run away unscathed or grabbed a weapon they won’t use because the game doesn’t record weapons. Rip Tanaka

Day 1

Ran-Mao bringing the canon energy by adding a second weapon to her arsenal

Phipps somehow always turns into Team Dad during these, so I’m glad to see he’s finding time for his favorite hobbies

Undertaker up to his usual Sneaky Antics

It hasn’t even been twelve hours yet. Kind of impressive honestly

Considering Harcourt lost his mace, I’ll just assume the attack Grell “escaped” from was the vicious stabbing of his trim little schoolboy fingernails

Bad vibes

It appears that Lau also brought his canon game

Sebastian in the most recent chapters be like

I’ve actually never had this event come up before and it has to happen between two of the more innocent characters in the series;;;; god Lizzie you deserve better even in the Hunger Games Simulator

Where’s a Safety Nerd when you need one

What’s better than this? Guys bein dudes

This is probably what happened after Ciel left Weston

Sebastian will take care of this for ya, huh bud

Other events:

Agni practices his archery

Wolfram goes fishing

Othello finds a cave

Soma goes ‘splorin

Edward goes huntin

Day 1′s Deaths: Tanaka, Sieglinde, Lizzie, and Macmillan. Someday one of the ladies will win

Night 1

Butler slumber party in the woods, BYOYM (bring your own young master)

It takes a lot of energy to be this blond

I’m happy for her :)

Yeah I’ll bet you probably do Lau

A tonal shift so abrupt I got mental whiplash

Can we go back to when Grell was looking at the sky pls

Thought about science too hard. Got a concussion

Thought about Ciel dying too hard. Got an infection

Aww dad :( Hope you caught some fish tho

Looks like Harcourt won’t be winning this one, gang

I stg the hunger games simulator is misogynist because the ladies always DIE /j

Ran-Mao is hopefully here to prove the previous statement wrong

Other events:

Bard gets a hatchet

Undertaker also passes out from exhaustion

R!Ciel goes to sleep in a tree

Day 2

Oh you five are SO going in my burn book for this. It’s what Grell would’ve wanted

Ahaha just like in the real manga... right guys (;

Idk about you but I’m rooting for her

I don’t think the simulator could’ve picked four people who were less likely to team up than this

I would too if I saw my best friend was palling around with an opium dealer, a grim reaper with a lawn mower, and another grim reaper that the first grim reaper doesn’t like

Other events:

Othello chases Wolfram

That’s the only other event actually

That means today we lost O!Ciel, Mey-Rin, Harcourt, and Grell. ffs, I hope Ran-Mao kills all of you

Night 2

I’ve missed you, rare pair simulator

The “unknown sponsor” was Undertaker and the “fresh food” was O!Ciel

Confirmed: Lau doesn’t get high off his own supply

Once again a ceasefire between the strong hungry boys is formed

Girl, you don’t have to do that

“Did you kill Ciel?” Sebastian asks

“No that was William,” Othello says

Sebastian punches a tree so hard that it combusts. “God damn. Fuck” Sebastian says

Wolfram just realized I put him in the Hunger Games simulator

Other events:

Phipps thinks about “Are you winning son”

Undertaker gazes at space

Ronald becomes Lost Ronald

Soma passes out

Bard gets some water

Day 3

Damn Agni who haven’t you flirted with

Finny sees that Bard has water and thinks Bard cooked it himself, so he wants no part of that (might be burnt)

What did he even have that was worth stealing? A fish?

Well I can tell you who isn’t creating that smoke: Lau

“What’s worse than two young masters? No young masters. Now get over here and make a contract”

Everything about this sentence is a fever dream

Other events:

Undertaker decides he wants a slingy shot too

Edward chases Dad I mean Phipps

Othello gets some ouchies from picking berries

Night 3

When your young master dies, you just get an infection apparently

damn Finny’s playing hardball

I don’t think anything bad has actually happened to Bard yet. It’s just been a grand frolic the whole time

I barely remember reading the first Hunger Games but Ran-Mao’s the Foxface of this journey: she deserves to win and I just know she’ll die in the stupidest way possible

Sebastian’s like a cat that can’t reach the bird it wants to attack, so it attacks the nearest other thing instead. Poor Dad

Two white-haired anime boys and a not-white-haired anime boy talk about who will die tomorrow. Anime doesn’t exist yet so the white-haired anime boys don’t know their hair color automatically spells their doom

Other events:

Edward starts a fire, which means he’s capable of smoking opium

Ronald gets some medical supplies

Othello gets a hatchet

R!Ciel thinks about winning

Lau gets an entire explosive, but he won’t be able to light it, so no it’s no big deal

Day 4

In Soviet Hunger Games, white-haired anime boy kills you

But why murder someone when you could just mess with them

Other events:

Grey scares Bard

Finny goes hunting

Night 4

Have you four even killed anyone yet

The list of “people who didn’t start the manor fire and also don’t smoke opium” now consists of Lau and R!Ciel

The mood is too light now. Someone needs to die and it better not be Ran-Mao

At last, Father Phipps has chosen his son for this round

Agni gushes about all the hot guys he’s simultaneously in love with, giving Ran-Mao a clearer idea of who’s still alive

Day 5

Girl, it’s about time, go claim some trophies

Finny’s easily got the longest kill streak and it’s a little unnerving

Father Phipps finds a new secret fishing hole

Othello doesn’t

Lau continues to put in all the efforts of a kindergarten bully

Oh no. He’s a yandere

Other events:

Sebastian fucks around and explores the arena

Bard fucks around and hunts for tributes

Undertaker fucks around and sleeps

R!Ciel fucks around and picks flowers

Night 5

I’ve never met anyone who ships Sebastian/Undertaker but I know you’re out there

Okay, maybe these four are even less likely to team up than Phipps, Ronald, Undertaker, and Lau

Edward sees I’m making jokes about people who build fires and stays hidden

Day 6

Canonically, that is the only way R!Ciel would win a fight, so

I probably could have predicted this

I hope these are the faces they made when it happened

The “unknown sponsor” is R!Ciel and the “fresh food” is an ear that fell off his own head

I’m not sure if I should be concerned or unsurprised that Bard’s Hunger Games life is more chill than his canon life

the “unknown sponsor” was the fish and the “clean water” was “fish water”

Other events:

Ran-Mao gets her third weapon that she doesn’t want to use, which is a hatchet

Finny finds a river

Agni practices archery again, but he doesn’t kill anyone because he wants this to go on forever

Night 6

Ran-Mao I beg you please. Release us from this purgatory of mediocrity

And suddenly we’re back to canon Bard

I guess not everything can be canon

Other events:

Both Agni and Phipps pass out from exhaustion. It’s 2:50 a.m. so I should really be taking a page from their book, but unfortunately everyone refuses to die

The Feast

Finny has been a stone cold killer this entire match, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that the girl I wanted to win would get eliminated by him, but it still hurts ✌️😔

If you cheat on Othello, he will overpower you, killing you

Everyone else decided not to go to the Feast. Honestly, I don’t remember what the Feast is, but everyone who did go either murdered someone or got murdered, so I guess that was probably a good call

Day 7

I’ve had enough of this dude

Jesus Finny I can’t wait to see how many kills you got, I feel like you and Agni were the only two who took anyone down

Bard, Undertaker, Sebastian, and Phipps all hunt for other tributes but they’re useless and don’t kill anyone

Arena Event: Volcano Eruption

In one fell swoop, we lose Sebastian, Undertaker, R!Ciel, and Finny, jeez. But... that means it comes down to.............

FATHER PHIPPS VS. BARD

FATHER PHIPPS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow... Unlike his manga counterpart, this boy coasted the whole time and won... He basically went on vacation and he actually won... But then again, it’s Hunger Games Simulator and nothing is sacred

Well I hope you learned a valuable lesson today. I hope you did at some point before you read my post, because you sure as hell learned nothing from this. Thank you for wasting precious minutes of your life with me 😏

[carrotmakar]

Not Going Anywhere Without You

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

Word Count: 2.6k 

Summary: When Y/N finds out that she’s expecting, she’s scared out of her mind. She doesn’t know how she’s going to get through it all. She doesn’t know if Harry even wants to be a father. Fortunately, Harry’s more than ready to take a step back from the stage for a while to start the family that he’s longed for his entire life.

Warning(s): unplanned pregnancy, nerves, pet names, a brief argument (idek if you could call it an argument tbh), fluffiness, dad!harry

A/N: this is one of the pieces that have been on my mind since i saw the dadathon that @tbslenthusiast​ is hosting!! Everyone should go read the masterlist of submissions and join if you want to!! Also a warm thank you to @taintedwonder​ and @sunflowers-styles​ for beta reading/getting me through writing the whole thing!!! and @havethetimeofyourstyles​ for listening to me tell her about how i cried writing/editing this (ily jill) !!!!! 

Masterlist | Taglist | Request - Guidelines | Come Talk!

Reblogs help a lot and are greatly appreciated!!

*

There’s absolutely no way that this can be happening. 

She stares down at the two pink lines on the pregnancy test and has to hold back the sobs that are threatening to overtake her. How could this be happening? No. This simply just cannot be happening to her. 

Except it is. She’s pregnant. She’s carrying the child that she and Harry have created together.  The truly awful part though? She doesn’t even know how to feel about it. 

Of course, she’s excited. She’s happy. All she has ever wanted is a family with the man that she loves, but she's also nervous. She has no idea how he’s going to react to this. She doesn’t know how any of this is going to work. He’s in the middle of a world tour and she doesn’t even know if he’ll be done by the time she’s due. 

Hell, she doesn’t even know when she’s due. She doesn’t know how far along she is and the amount of unknown facts threaten to send her spiraling. 

What if he’s mad? What if he doesn’t want the baby? What if she has to do this alone? She doesn’t think she can be a single mother.

There are so many unknowns and there’s no way that she can do this on her own. For the time being, however, she knows she has to figure this out herself.  She’s in  their house in London while he’s in the States performing to thousands of screaming fans every night. There’s no way that she can drop this news on him in the middle of that chaos.

No, she reminds herself instead that he’ll be home in less than a month and she can tell him then. It’s better to do these things in person anyway.

Fortunately, that also means that she has a few weeks to calm the nerves that are coursing through her entire body. She also has that time to figure out how she’s going to break the news to him. She can’t just come out and say “Oh by the way, hey, I’m pregnant.” Can she?

*

“I’m pregnant.” The moment the words tumble out of her mouth she hears the excited squeal coming from her mother. 

She needed to tell someone about the news, and since Harry wasn’t an option yet, her mother had  automatically been her first choice.

“Baby, I’m so happy for you!” She shrieks through the phone and Y/N can see how excited she is even though the FaceTime quality isn’t great. The image of her mother all but jumping up and down from excitement brings a beaming smile to her face. “Does H know yet?” 

That question causes Y/N’s smile to falter and her mom immediately catches it. “Why doesn’t he know?”

“Well he’s not here and I didn’t want to tell him on the phone, and I don’t know, really. I just found out the other day and I guess I’m just a little scared.” She’s trying her best to not tear up, and the newfound hormones are not helping the cause, but the lump in her throat is letting her know that she’s not succeeding.

“Why are you scared?” Her mother questions softly, trying to get Y/N to open up about what’s bothering her without pushing too much.

“I’m not sure… just scared he isn’t going to be happy with me.” She’s surprised when her mother audibly scoffs at her words. 

“Y/N, sweetheart. If you really think that he’s not going to drop to his knees the moment that you tell him you’re carrying his child, you’re delusional.” She lets out a light chuckle before continuing. “He’s so head over heels in love with you that there’s absolutely no way that he could ever be upset over something like that.”

“Yeah but what if he’s not ready? He said he had wanted to wait a bit.” The tears that she’s trying so desperately to suppress are beginning to pool in her eyes and she wants to kick herself for letting this get to her again. 

“Honey, H is the only person I know that is completely, without a doubt, ready to have children.” The first tear rolls down Y/N’s cheek as she observes the way that her mother’s face softens at the mention of Harry being ready to start his family. “Y/N, the moment that you break the news to him, his entire life is going to get a million times better.”

She nods and knows in her heart that she has nothing to worry about. She continues to converse with her mom for a little while longer, moving on from the topic of the pregnancy and Harry. Her mother’s words had calmed her nerves considerably. 

After the phone call ends she decides to text Harry; it feels like they haven’t been talking as much recently, and she feels bad, knowing that her nerves have partially been the reason for that. 

Hey babe, how’s everything going? Where are you this evening? 

His reply comes in an instant, almost as if he had been waiting for her text.

St. Paul :) it’s been pretty great here! The show was great last night! Haven’t really done much lately though, it’s just been hotel room after hotel room and show after show. 

The thought of him sitting in his hotel rooms alone, more than likely nursing a drink to calm his post concert adrenaline, makes a frown appear on her face. She knows how he gets when he’s away on tour and has to watch everyone around him pair off and go out to enjoy the city that they’re stopped in. He hasn’t been up for going out as much recently and, despite her efforts, she doesn’t know why. He’s usually always up for going out to let the adrenaline run its course, but every time they’ve talked lately, he’s just been shut away up in his room. 

Why don’t you go out and enjoy the city with the band, sweetheart?

Feels wrong to go out without you, angel. Miss you being here with me.

Her heart clenches in her chest and she can’t help but feel guilty. He had asked (more like begged) her to come on the North American leg of the tour with him. She had refused, thinking that she needed to stay at home so she wouldn’t have to take so many days off of work. Looking back on it, she probably could have taken the time off  and not had to explain. It was just one of the things that seemed to happen when her boss had found out she was dating Harry Styles.

I’m sorry for not coming with you :( I miss you, though. So, so much.

The awful feeling in her gut doesn’t subside - in fact, it only grows stronger. She suddenly realizes that if she had said yes, she would be with him right now. Not only would she be getting him out of those god forsaken hotel rooms but she also wouldn’t be withholding the life changing information that she has.

It’s alright, love. I’ll see you in a few weeks and then we can be together for a while. No worrying about tour. 

The prospect of him being at home for a while, possibly even more than a year, causes excitement to course through her veins. Maybe if he’s home for long enough to where he can start raising their child with her, then he’ll be happier when she tells him the news.

I can’t wait until you’re back in my arms, bubs. I miss cuddling with you.

She can’t see him right now but she knows that - most likely - he’s got that soft smile on his face that he always says is reserved for her. He always does so when he lets himself take a moment and think about cuddling with her. 

You’ll get all the cuddles the moment that I’m home. Promise.

Their conversation doesn’t last much longer. With the time zones being so different and the two of them being in different countries, with their sadness eating away at them.

*

She’s in his arms the moment that he swings the front door open. The force of the surprise impact knocks him back for a moment, but he eventually regains his balance and wraps his arms around her. 

She sighs in content at the feeling of  warmth radiating from his body to hers. He’s always been warmer than her, but right now, after he’s been gone for months, he feels warmer than all the blankets she’s tried to keep herself cozy with. 

“Hey, baby.” He mumbles into her hair, not making any move to pull away or even shut the door.

“I missed you so much.” He can hear the crack in her voice and he immediately squeezes her tighter. 

“Missed you too, darling.” 

She’s the one to pull away first. She unwraps herself from his arms and moves to shut the door behind him. She avoids meeting his eyes knowing that he’s already sensed that something is going on. She never pulls away first, and she’s afraid that he’s going to notice and ask her about it. Hopefully, he’ll just brush it off as the fact that the door needed to be closed or that dinner still needed to be cooked.

Of course, he doesn’t just brush it off. “Is something bothering you?”

She turns away from him and begins to make her way towards the kitchen. “I’m fine, H.”

“Love, please don’t lie to me.” Her breath hitches and her steps falter. That’s the last thing she wants to do  but she knows if she looks at him and tells him what’s really going on inside her head, she’s going to completely crumble. 

“I’m not lying to you, honey. I’m fine.” He scoffs at her words. He knows they’re not true, but he chooses not to push her too far. If he continues to pester her about it, she’ll close herself off to him and then there will be absolutely no way that he’ll be able to figure out what’s bugging her. 

“Do you want me to cook dinner, petal?” He comes up behind where she had stopped and wraps his arms around her from behind. She immediately leans into him and he knows that all she needs right now is his love. 

“I can do it, honey. You’ve been busy lately.” She hesitantly turns in his arms and peers up at him biting her lip. 

Now seems like as good of a time as ever to tell him.

“H, can we maybe wait a minute on the food?” She tries her best to not let her voice waiver but she knows there’s a slight wobble that won’t go unnoticed by Harry. 

“Yeah, of course.” He keeps his arms wrapped around her and waits for her to make the first move.

She stands still for a few moments, barely moving an inch. She inhales but it’s shaky and she feels the tears bubbling up to the surface before she can stop them.  She tucks her head into his chest as the sobs that she’s been holding in for weeks escape. 

“Shh. It’s okay, petal. I’ve got you. Just let it out.” He smooths the small wisps of hair on her head and slowly rocks their bodies back and forth. The gestures calm her and soon enough the tears start to subside. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” She sighs at his question and he’s scared that he’s crossed a line, that he’s asked too much of her too soon. He knows that he hasn’t, however, when she slowly nods her head and takes a step back. 

He releases his hold on her and she wipes the remaining wetness of her cheeks. She glances around the kitchen and Harry gently lifts her up onto the counter so that she won’t have to stay standing. 

“Um, so I have to tell you something.” She starts, and she busies herself with picking at her nails to avoid his gaze. “And I don’t want you to be mad, okay?” 

She still doesn’t look up at him, but she pauses, giving him the time to answer. After he hums his agreement, she takes a shaky breath and continues. “I didn’t plan for this to happen, I promise. I just… I don’t know… somehow it happened and I just… this is terrifying. And I’m probably making absolutely no sense right now, I’m so sorry.” She can feel the lump in her throat returning yet again and she buries her face in her hands to take  a minute to breathe.

Harry hasn’t moved from the spot that he was in. He feels like his feet are stuck to the floor. He can’t come up with a reasonable guess as to what she could possibly be talking about and it’s making him more nervous that being on stage does. 

“It’s okay, baby. Take your time.” He doesn’t want her to feel like she has to rush to get the words out. 

“Um, so, I know you’re on tour and you have a career that doesn’t slow down for anyone, which is why when I tell you this I want you to know that you don’t have to stick around for it. I can do it on my own, okay?” His stomach drops when she says that, but he doesn’t say anything yet. “I’m… I’m pregnant, H. Like I said, you don’t have to help if you don’t want to, you’re terribly busy, and---

“Y/N why would you even say that?” He tries to hold the harshness back, to not snap at her right now, but the fact that she thinks he wouldn’t want to be completely present in his child’s life makes him see red. 

“What do you mean?” She’s suddenly on alert, the tone of his voice taking her completely by surprise. 

“How could you even let the thought cross your mind that I wouldn’t want to be around? You know me, love.” He’s trying his hardest to not let his emotions take over because honestly, he’s not entirely sure if he’d start yelling or break down sobbing. 

“Harry, you’re a singer. Your entire career is touring the world. Singing is your dream, and there’s no way that I’m going to ask you to give that up.” She didn’t think that he would be offended by her giving him an out, but by the cracking in his voice, it’s clear she’s never said something more hurtful to him.

“Yeah, music is my job, and I love that. But my dream, Y/N, the thing that I want more than anything in this entire world, is you.” His voice catches in his throat and she finally looks up at him. He looks broken, like the things she said, the things she thought would help, really just ripped his heart into shreds.

“H, I really can’t ask you to give that up in any way.” She wants to give in, to say that everything will be fine, that he can take time off of touring if he wants. The rational part of her, however, the part that remembers asking him to give this up to any extent could make him resent her, fights against it.

“Baby, listen to me, please.” He pleads. “You’re not asking me to do anything. Regardless of whether or not you want me in our child’s life… which I pray to the lord that you do, I’m taking time off after the tour. I want to spend time at home, with you, with both of you.” He gently cradles her face in his palms and strokes her cheek with his thumb. 

“Are you sure?” She doesn’t want to keep fighting him on it. All she wants is to raise the family that she’s wanted for her entire life with the most extraordinary love. 

“Absolutely.” He promises.

He bends slightly so that his face is directly in front of her stomach. “Daddy's going to be here for you and Mommy every step of the way, bub.”

*

Thank you so much for reading lovelies!!!!! Again, reblog the pieces that you like and don’t be afraid to leave feedback!!

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[reuska]

Aw very cool! Hopefully things go a little better for her in liyue. . . (And gosh please feel free to elaborate I'd love to learn more!!! <333)

Well ^^; You'll have to be the judge of that. I feel the need to explain that the story I described in the previous answer was originally supposed to be all of her lore, she was supposed to marry Diluc and live happily ever after. But my headcanons tend to live a life of their own, things happen that expand them, in this case I became a diehard Zhongli fan.

Despite the sudden expansion of the story, Hette actually did meet Zhongli when she and Vinn were still hiding in Birghtcrown Canyon because my friend's Snezhnayan OC Iskra brought him there (our OC stories interlace). Issa is Hette's only friend from the Akademiya, also the only person besides Diluc who knew where she and Vinn were hiding. As a journalist she decided one day that she needed to find some piece of ancient info on Dragonspine and hired a certain consultant to accompany her as a walking encyclopedia. She wanted to pay a visit to Hette but didn't know she was bringing the retired Lord of Geo along and dendro slimes are skittish so they started freaking out so hard Hette thought the whole Abyss decided to take them on. So she snapped and attacked the arriving company first.

Not that she left any scratch (Stabilize!, you know what I mean xD). To make things short, Vinn and Diluc decide they wanted to join the pocket-sized expedition too - leaving Hette little choice but to come as well because literally the only three people she cared for went. I even made a pic of their silly company :D Retired deity and tundra-born girl being ok with the cold.

At one point the group gets separated by an avalanche, Zhongli and Hette being in one group, her loved ones in the other - so she's freaking out and pitying herself over possessing a mere Dendro that is useless on this frozen rock. Zhongli, who mostly kept to himself before, gives her an encouraging speech about how unique Dendro is for being able to manipulate life, mentioning an "old friend" who once told him that with the right approach, Dendro can reach behind flora and touch actual conscious beings too. Which Hette immediately tries to find her brother and fails miserably so she feels even worse.

However, later, after the group reunites, they get attacked by a huuuge Durin-blood-enhanced matachurl. When it corners Vinn, Hette snaps and tries that ability again and this time the adrenaline gets her through. For a short moment she senses every living being in the vicinity. Their lifeforce does feel a lot like that of young trees but then there is one ENORMOUS among them. Hette assumes that's the matachurl and mentally attacks it. It so happens the Matachurl keeps closing on Vinn while it's Zhongli who suddenly struggles to move. It takes Hette a second do realize the mistake and then she successfully paralyzes the matachurl so the boys can finish him off.

BUT. This experience together with all the small hints from before (talks about "old friend", vast knowledge of everything, the generally "older than the looks" behavior) leads her to conclusion about Zhongli's identity (Hette is smart after all). She does approach him later to apologize and indirectly reveals she had connected the dots. He warns her about using that ability again to which she replies she has no intention to (it was very ugly, violating experience). And then they part ways - presumably to never meet again, case closed. (Now the story expands from what was originally planned.)

Later, when she's finally free of fear about Vinn, she goes to Liyue and settles in the Harbor because she needs to make money to meet daily needs and fund her research. She gets employed by an old eccentric lady selling premium tea which naturally means one day Zhongli shows up in the door coming for his weekly dose.

The unexpected reunion progresses to surprised Hette automatically making one of her remarks and Zhongli actually genuinely laughing at it instead of sending a rock down the roof (which petrified Hette expected for a few seconds). Seeing the actual fricking Rex Lapis in the flesh not taking himself too seriously and most importantly SHARE her sense of humor... it just completely wins her over in an instant. At this moment he is added to her loyal-to-death circle and he could ask anything from her, she would try to accomodate him.

From that moment on they do meet now and then in the store, occasionally elsewhere, and they develop a nice friendship. Zhongli finds her company very entertaining because she gives him "mortal treatment" while knowing his true identity. He always had to go incognito if he wanted to experience mortals to treat him like one of their own. But Hette keeps interlacing their communication with tons of hidden remarks targeting his true nature, remarks only he can understand and that's a new level of fun for him. As for Hette, she's just mindblown, she adores him (platonicaly) - I often compare their dynamics to a Two-Nobel-Prize-winning professor and his favourite devoted student. That's what they have.

Until one day Hette disappears. Zhongli finds out four days later when the old shop owner asks him about her. Her landlady also hasn't seen her for days. He tracks her down to a man in the marketplace who tells him she wanted to help him find his lost sack of Mora when suddenly "the ground ate her".

What happened is that Hette wanted to call the slimes to help her look for the man's Mora but it happened to be too close to a leyline disorder. Since she mentally enters leylines in order to reach for the slimes, she came in contact with the disorder and it just sucked her in and threw her back in time to the north of pre-archon-war Liyue.

Now it's finally getting interesting but i will cut it here for now. If you still want to know more, just let me know. I already love you for being interested in my girl ♥♥ Thank you sm!

[leiakenobi]

#13 + marcus moreno

13. “i’m not worthy of anybody’s love.” “that’s not true, you’re worthy of mine.” followed by the lover breaking eye-contact… + a love confession

oh, it’s “get emo about marcus moreno” hours, is it??

i slightly defied the specific circumstances of the prompt, but i think you’ll like where i took it anyway. 

also this is 1.2k i’m so sorry that i am the way that i am

——

Your friendship with Marcus Moreno has been built almost exclusively through your headset.

Brought on to coordinate between teams of heroes now that the children and grown-ups are all taking on missions, you couldn’t begin to guess how often it is Marcus on the other end of the line.

It’s often enough, though, that you’ve come to start chatting when he’s traveling, or when he’s doing recon. His voice warm and low in your ear, you settling into your chair in the back of the command center and listening to stories about missions from before you joined up. Sharing stories about your life outside of your job of – as you like to call it – superhero supervising.

You can’t say for sure when you started telling him about your dates. Probably after one of your college friends’ particularly abysmal attempts at a set-up.

Now, though, it’s late into the evening. Most of the crew has long-since gone home, but Marcus was scheduled to do this stake-out until 9 and he’s committed. And when he asks, “Hey, didn’t you have a date last night?” it is the last thing you’d like to talk about.

“Please don’t remind me,” you groan.

“That bad?”

You don’t even offer a true reply—you just make a discontented sort of noise and hope he’ll leave it at that.

“And not a funny sort of bad,” Marcus says softly. “You sure you don’t want to talk about it? You’ve got a captive audience here.”

“Hopefully not actually captive.”

Your attempt at deflection could easily fall flat, but Marcus chuckles earnestly, the sound hitting your ears and filing you with an exquisite sort of comfort. Comforting enough that you hesitate, and linger with the silence, but ultimately decide that there’s no harm in opening up at least a little bit.

“One of my friends set me up with a therapist, this time, and he just... got into my head a little bit. Before the appetizers even got to our table, he told me that I’m sabotaging my chances for a relationship.”

Marcus scoffs, and it’s encouraging. He’s right—how ridiculous. “Based on what?”

“Based on how committed I seem to be to my job. He told me that I was using the Heroics to avoid commitment and potential heartbreak.”

“All this still before the appetizers?” You hum your confirmation, and Marcus scoffs again. “What a dick.”

You smile slightly to yourself, scanning your eyes over the vacant command center. The lights are down low – an automatic switch that happens at 8PM – and maybe it’s something about the ambiance that allows you to continue. To concede, “I guess I’ve been wondering whether he’s right.”

“What? Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Don’t you worry at all that you’re putting too much of yourself into this place? Aside from everything you do for Missy, obviously,” you add after a moment’s thought, because you know that would be his retort.

The brief silence on the other end of the line tells you that maybe you’ve struck a chord, at least enough for him to have to contemplate. “Sure, I worry. But I doubt it can be summed up as easily as your date tried to do, especially after just meeting you.”

“You’re probably right.”

Pause. “But?”

And you can’t help but laugh. Your voice a little tentative as you confess, “I guess that I’ve just been second-guessing myself all day. Trying to figure out why I might be hiding from a relationship, if he was even right in the first place. And I do think...”

Is this too much? Sometimes the anonymity of this, of a phone call back-and-forth, makes it so incredibly easy for you and Marcus to open up to each other, but does he want to hear something quite so vulnerable?

“Go on.” He encourages you softly, gently.

“Even though part of me knows it’s ridiculous, somewhere around three a.m. last night it hit me that maybe the other part of me thinks I’m not worthy of anybody’s love.”

“Hey, hey, that’s not true.” Marcus’s tone has gotten harsh, almost exasperated, all of a sudden. “You’re worthy of mine.”

Unbeknownst to Marcus, that might be the worst thing that he could have said. Because somewhere around four a.m., you realized that maybe you’re sabotaging your love life because you’ve got a stupidly big crush on Marcus Moreno.

You glance at the corner of your datapad. “Hey, you’re officially off the clock. Why don’t you head home to your little girl.”

“But--”

“Talk to you tomorrow, Marcus.” You power off your headset before he can get in another word.

Stupid. Absolutely stupid. You should have kept it to yourself. Then he wouldn’t feel the need to give you some kind, encouraging pep talk about how he sees the good in you and he knows someone else will someday, too. Now you have that to look forward to tomorrow.

What you’re not expecting is to pull into your driveway only to discover Marcus perched on the stairs leading up to your front door.

You can’t quite bring yourself to walk closer when you step out of your car. Instead, you hover, hand lingering on the edge of the door while you frown at him in the dark. “What are you doing here?”

He tries to give you a kind smile when he rises to his feet, but is that a hint of nerves you detect peeking through? “You can’t cut a conversation like that off just because we’re not on the clock anymore.”

“Did you have more to say?”

“I mean, yeah, I think that finally getting up the nerve to confess my feelings for you deserves a bit of actual conversation.”

Confess his feelings? What?

Your jaw drops slightly. “What are you talking about? I thought--” You trail off and watch as he begins to take slow, careful steps toward you through your front yard. “Weren’t you just giving me... It sounded like you were trying for a supportive pep talk.”

He hesitates. “Alright, in your defense, I guess I do give a lot of supportive pep talks.”

“So many that it’s a little dorky,” you reply, a smile spreading across your lips. It makes him laugh.

“Would you give me another shot, then?”

You swallow nervously. He’s reached your car, now, and he’s standing in front of you with those soft eyes staring into yours—how often have you even gotten to really look into those eyes? How could you bring yourself to stop after this, when this moment inevitably ends? His hand settles on the door as well, inches from your fingers.

“Go on.”

“Speaking as someone else who might put a bit too much into the job... hearing your voice in my ear every day is one of my favorite things about being a Heroic. I love how hard you work to keep things running, and I love that you let me ramble on about stupid things when you probably have far more important work to be doing. And I would love to be able to see your face more often while I talk to you. Every day, if possible.”

Every day. Have you stopped breathing?

Raising his eyebrows and inching closer, he asks, “How was that for a not-pep talk?”

You grin wide. “You nailed it.”

[torisfeather]

Nightmare

A one-shot written for @creative-lampd-liberties

You can also find it here on AO3 and Ffnet

.

Janus jolted awake with a gasp, his heart pumping so hard he could feel the blood rushing in his temples. His panting mouth felt dry, while the human side of his face was way too wet with tears and sweat. His eyes, wide open, stared at the ceiling, too afraid to look somewhere else. His ears resonated with the sound of the nightmare he just had.

By the time he realized that he was in his room and that this was nothing more than a bad dream, his head started throbbing.

He winced, closing his mouth and tasting his cardboard-like tongue for a second before his glands remembered how to make saliva. He ran a hand over his hot forehead, as if he could wipe his headache away, but only managed to ruffle his messy hair more. He tried to close his teary eyes again but it was like the image of his nightmare was burned on the inner side of his eyelids.

It's all your fault…

The mere thought filled his chest with sobs.

He felt like he was suffocating, like in those legends of sleep-demons sitting on people's chests in their sleep. He could only cry, cry like a sick child, trying not to see, not to hear the remnants of his dream. His dream…

I don't want to see you ever again!

It was so painful. Why was it this painful? Dreams weren't supposed to be painful.

"Janus!"

His name cut through the pain, though he did not recognize the voice at first. A face appeared through the tears. Long bangs and eyes with dark shadows. "Virgil?"

"Janus, what's wrong?"

Even if he wanted to, Janus couldn't lie in this kind of state. He could only utter a few words : "A nightmare… My head…"

He suddenly felt something cool on his forehead, and almost moaned. It felt so good against the throb.

"You're burning up!" Virgil said, stupefied, pawing at his forehead like it could make his temperature go down. "How do you even have a temperature?"

Janus shrugged, pressing his head against Virgil's hand. Please, oh please let him stay there. His own hand reached out and squeezed the cold palm.

He wasn't sure how much time passed, but somehow, as he squeezed that hand next to him, his tears started to subside and he was slowly able to think more clearly. Eventually, he sat up and let go, wrapping his arms around him and trying to smile in spite of his splitting headache. He rubbed at the bridge of his nose, doing his best to relax, to no avail.

"Apologies for this sorry sight… I'm better now," he said.

"Yeah right, you look like shit."

"I know, Virgil, thank you," Janus sighed. "Why are you here?"

"I'm here because I felt someone's fear levels explode like a firework and the ashes haven't settled yet."

"Ah, so you wanted to know if there was a danger," Janus understood, looking down at his hands. "You see there is nothing, everything is under control."

"As if I was going to leave you, dumbass."

Janus blinked in surprise, grateful for the dark room hopefully keeping Virgil from seeing his expression. "The light sides are rubbing off on you," he tried to tease.

"Shut up. Where's the light?"

With a snap, Janus lit up his bedside candelabra and took a quick look at Thomas's internal clock, which in his room took the appearance of an old, dark-wooded, intricate grandfather clock with a hypnotic and comforting pendulum. Apparently, it was sometime in the early hours of the morning. Just the best time to wake up from a nightmare, really, too early to feel actually rested, but too late to go back to sleep long enough to feel better.

Not that he particularly wanted to go back to sleep now that he couldn't even close his eyes without seeing the miserable, desperate face of…

I wish I never knew you…

Janus needed some water.

He carefully turned to the side of the bed where Virgil was standing, pretending his head wasn't killing him right now.

"What are you doing?"

"Obviously not taking care of myself," Janus muttered, rubbing his human eye with one hand and groping around the bedside table for a handkerchief with the other.

Virgil grabbed it before he could.

"Virgil, why-" Janus stopped in shock when Virgil started gently wiping his face. Then closed his eyes in delight when Virgil caressed his hot skin with his cold fingers. Janus didn't usually enjoy the cold, but he also didn't usually wake up in the middle of the night from a stress-induced fever nightmare.

"Here," Virgil said, holding the handkerchief in place for Janus to blow his nose, which he did by reflex. "Sorry, I'm not as good as Patton for this kind of thing."

"Why are you doing this?" Please don't stop.

"Because you need it," Virgil said.

"I can take care of myself."

"Listen- stop." Virgil grabbed his face, and it should have been uncomfortable, if his touch wasn't so grounding and cooling. "I know what you're thinking right now, so stop. I want to take care of you. Now, sit tight, I'm going to get you some painkillers."

Virgil left, and Janus immediately missed his presence. He decided not to wait. Slowly, trying not to move his head too much, he put on his slippers and robe over his pajamas, and quietly slithered out of his room, combing his fingers through his hair trying to look a little more presentable in case one of the others were awake.

The hallway was dark and empty as far as he could tell. Janus resisted the urge to turn on the light – anything was better than the images jumping at his vision in the dark, except waking up anyone, plus it might make his headache worse.

That hypothesis was verified when he finally reached the bathroom, closed the door and turned on the light – ow.

Janus rubbed his temples, stumbling to the sink, and took several sips of water.

"I told you to stay where you were."

"No, you didn't," Janus replied, trying a miserable smirk as Virgil entered the bathroom as well. He handed him a couple of pills.

They were placebos more than anything, really, but that's what you get when you and your pain are both imaginary.

He washed down the pill with another swig of water, bent over the sink, and took advantage of his position to throw a little bit of water in his face. The coolness it brought really helped soothe his headache, for a moment he even felt like he might be able to go back to sleep.

Hah. He snorted wryly. As if.

"Why are you laughing?"

"I just thought of something funny."

Every time he blinked, the same thing happened. That face, that sad, reproachful face, appeared, and he could almost hear the whispers again… You shouldn't be here…

He shook his head. You should know your place…

"Hey. Hey, hey, hey, what's wrong?" Virgil said, cupping his chin to make him look up. Janus closed his eyes, and Virgil's face was replaced with Thomas's, so similar. Worry replaced with contempt. He felt more tears roll down his cheek. He tried to open his eyes and look away, but he couldn't help it.

"N-nothing," he sniffled.

"Janus, come on…"

"I… I don't remember my nightmare."

"Oh," Virgil went, realizing, his expression growing softer, compassionate. "Sounds like a very bad one, huh?"

Janus almost laughed through the tears. "No, not at all. It was nothing, really, just…"

You're the worst thing that ever happened to me.

Janus bit his tongue and muffled another loud sob. He moved away from Virgil and rubbed his ears with the palms of his hands, like it could make the words go away. Virgil quickly caught up to him and wrapped his arms around him in a tight embrace. For a moment, Janus didn't dare to move, then after a while, he returned the hug, sniffling into the other's hoodie.

"Shhhh, calm down, deep breaths, snakey," Virgil said, rubbing hard at the back of his neck in the best way possible.

Janus felt himself shake, and the tears come harder, but the need to sob was appeased somehow. He did his best to follow Virgil's advice, breathing in and out as slowly and deeply as he could.

"There we go, good job," Virgil praised him as he felt him calm down. He tilted his head back, just to look at him for a little while. "Now, what do we do when we're not fine?"

"… Self-care?" Janus tried.

"See, I knew you were still yourself," Virgil joked, and Janus smiled under the tears still running down his face. "You're going to have to help me though, you're the master of self-care, here. What do you need, right now?"

Automatically, Janus started mentally listing and self-checking his needs. He wasn't hungry, or thirsty anymore, he felt exhausted but there was no way he could go back to sleep right now, and he was so tense and hot from his headache, still covered in sweat… "A bath," he admitted quietly.

"Okay," Virgil smiled kindly. "Would you like me to stay with you, snakey?"

Janus bit his lip, but nodded. If Virgil was offering, he wasn't going to reject some company. Anything to not be left alone with his thoughts.

Virgil drew the bath, checking the temperature several times, as Janus undressed slowly, still sniffling. He laid his robe and pajamas over the closed toilet seat and let Virgil lead him into the bathtub, holding his hand as he sunk into the water.

He immediately let out a pleasured sigh, feeling his body temperature adjusting like all it needed was a reminder of where it should actually be. The tension left his neck and shoulders.

He only realized his eyes had closed when he opened them again to see Virgil undressing as well. "What are you doing?"

"Joining you, if that's okay? Nothing sexy, I promise"

Janus nodded and folded his legs to let Virgil take the other side of the bathtub. The anxious side shook his head and told him to move forward. Janus obeyed curiously, and smiled when Virgil climbed into the bathtub and sat behind him, his legs on either side of his thighs. He pulled him down against his chest and the two cuddled in the water.

"Do you still have a headache?" Virgil asked.

"A little."

So Virgil gently caressed his sides, kissing the back of his neck as his hands moved up his shoulders to his head, and started massaging his scalp.

It was like magic. Janus closed his eyes and hung his head, the pain receding between Virgil's fingers. He went completely limp, not thinking, not moving, just feeling the warm water licking his skin, resting in Virgil's embrace.

"Is it okay?" Virgil couldn't resist asking.

"It'sssss awessssssome."

"Are you lying?"

"No," Janus sighed.

"Okay, cool."

Virgil bit his lip, focused on his task. A few moments passed, and Janus could almost feel the questions starting to burden the anxious side. So despite the wonderful massage, he said: "Are you going to ask me about my nightmare?"

"No."

The surprise made Janus open his eyes again. "Why not? You obviously don't look like you want to."

"Yeah, well, you can tell me if you want, but you looked upset enough already when I just mentioned it. I don't want to make you panic again, so I'm not going to ask."

Janus remained frozen for a moment, then he smiled, and decided to let the nightmare go, settling deeper into the shared embrace of Virgil and the water.

He and Janus stayed in the water together for a long time, switching between massaging and cuddling, long enough for the water to get uncomfortably cool eventually.

So long, in fact, that as they stepped out of the tub, they heard a knock at the door, and Logan's unmistakable composed voice going: "Hello? Is someone there?"

"Yes!" Virgil replied, quickly grabbing towels for the both of them to get covered with.

"Virgil? This is uncharacteristically early for you, is something the matter?"

"I... Yes… I mean no? I, uh, I'm helping Janus."

"Janus?" Janus could have sworn he heard Logan frown from behind the door. "May I come in?"

"Uuuh…?" Virgil went, obviously unsure of what to do in the moment. Janus just smiled tiredly and nodded. "Sure?"

The door opened. Logan stepped inside and closed it again. "Very well. Now," he added, turning around to give them both a look where concern was trying to emerge behind the calm façade, "what seems to be the problem?"

Janus just let Virgil explain the situation to Logan, focusing on looking more alert than he actually was. He didn't like being this vulnerable, even with his fellow sides whom he had started trusting. So despite the lack of layers to cover his half-scaled body, he tried his best to smile and seem unperturbed.

Perhaps he didn't do as good a job as he would have liked, because Logan kept looking at him like he was a sick student. "It is to my understanding that you did not get much sleep. May I advise you take a nap this morning, perhaps after some breakfast?"

"I will not do that, thank you Logan," Janus said with his tired smile.

Logan nodded and left, closing the door to let the other two get dressed.

Janus felt immediately better when he was once again covered by his pajamas and dark robe, and to be frank so did Virgil once reunited with his hoodie. But neither regretted this time in the bath together.

"Alright, let's follow the doctor's orders," Virgil joked, leading Janus out and down the stairs.

Janus let him happily. His headache was now but a memory and the nightmare a dark shadow at the back of his mind that was slowly fading. He felt clean, relaxed, and warm in the right way, unlike before. And Virgil was holding his hand gently, like he was a delicate lady, which although a surprise wasn't unappreciated.

As they came down the stairs, Janus realized that everyone was up already. And that everyone looked up at them as they approached the table where two plates had already been put down for them. Roman pulled their chairs for them, and Remus tackle-hugged Janus before he had a chance to sit, which made him laugh internally, although he tried not to show anything.

"Ugh, Remus, be careful!"

Remus just stuck his tongue out at his brother and then licked Janus's cheek before letting him go. Janus pretended to be unfazed as he sat, wiping his face with the back of his hand.

Then Patton arrived, carrying a pan full of fried eggs and bacon, Logan in toe with some fruit and juice.

"Egg-cellent, you're here!" Patton said, smiling, as he dropped two eggs into Janus's plate, and then two more in Virgil's, before serving the others.

"What's all this for?" Janus almost laughed, incredulous.

"For you, of course, sleepy snake," Roman chimed in, grabbing the reddest apple in the basket. "Logan told us about your struggle last night."

"And nutrition is crucial to a proper recovery," Logan nodded.

As he finished serving everyone, Patton leaned over and placed a kiss on Janus's forehead, giggling at the dumbfounded face he made. "If you're going to react like that each time we want to take care of you, we might need to do it more often."

Janus didn't reply. He just felt happiness welling up inside of him as the others slowly started eating and talking and bickering as usual, but always keeping an eye on him, making sure he was okay. Far ago was the time when he had to pretend like he was in control all the time.

A bubble of trust suddenly popped up his throat into his mouth and he said, a little surprised at himself: "I'd like to tell you about my nightmare."

[captain-josslett]

Broken Melody - Part Thirty Three

Masterlist

Summary: Grammy Award winning Emma Danvers is the first to say she has a pretty good life. But what happens when it implodes around her and it looks like things will never be the same again?

Words: 8.8k+ (DANG IT! I tried not writing as much... Ah well.)

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, PTSD moments, smut...ish more mentions of?

Pairings: Emma Danvers x Lena Luthor, Alex Danvers x Sam Arias

This Part: A week before the surgery and Emma sees Alistair for an appointment.

Ek! So close! Please, please, please, let me know you thoughts and opinions. I literally have no anons 😅 @aznblossom thank you for always leaving a comment!

Thank you for reading and let me know if you wanna be tagged or any general feedback will be greatly appreciated. Please! I like knowing your thoughts.

Taglist: @finleyfray, @life-is-hella-unfair, @natasha-danvers, @supergirl-writingz, @camslightstories, @thinking1bee, @aznblossom

A Week Before The Surgery

Emma’s feet pound the pavement as she runs along the waterfront by the city, with Robyn’s partly completely album blaring in her ears.

Emma can’t help but feel pride with how good everything sounds as she passes unsuspecting members of the public. Weaving around the couples and families going for a gentle stroll in the warm April, Saturday sun.

Her face starts to feel slightly uncomfortable from the sweat rolling down her face. The face modifier causing a strange sensation and a tightness due to her heated skin. After finding this happening whenever she exercises with the modifier on, Winn and Brainy decide to develop a new model, one that will  hopefully be more lightweight and comfortable for the wearer. Including more options and will be able to change the wearer's hair and colour.

But, Emma hopes the time will come soon where Lucy gives her the go ahead where she won’t have to wear it anymore. By Doctor Hamilton’s assessment it should be another month or two before that can happen.

Emma had ventured out without it on, but that was under Lucy’s strict orders and guidance. The lawyer had organised a little outing where Emma sat in a wheelchair with a nasal cannula, giving the impression she was getting oxygen and sat with her sisters at Noonan’s. Bruises and prosthetics were applied around her face and neck to create the illusion that Emma was still healing.

Emma did query whether it would be a good idea but she had been reassured it was. Emma even asked if she still needed the prosthetics but Doctor Hamilton explained that with the severity of the trauma done to her body, she suspects the swelling would have stayed around longer than normal.

As soon as Alex rolled Emma through the restaurant's doors it spread like wildfire that Emma was out in public. Social Media lapped it up and soon a crowd of paparazzi, well wishers and fans gathered outside the restaurant. Emma stiffly waved and played her part but was grateful when they left and she could get rid of the itchy makeup and prosthetics.

Lena was meant to have joined them at the outing, but per usual, Lena had been too busy to attend.

Emma lets out a heavy breath as her heart clenches at the thought of her girlfriend. The Sunday after Nia’s party had been utter bliss with Emma waking up in Lena’s arms. The raven haired beauty had already been awake and kissed Emma’s forehead as she greeted her. The couple then laid there for a while, planting soft kisses on each other's lips until Emma needed to pee. The blonde had come back expecting Lena would want to start the day. However the raven haired beauty had not moved.

“Didn’t you mention about spending the whole day in bed?” Lena asked in a husky voice, dripping in sex. She pulled the covers back and revealed she had removed her pajamas.

Emma didn’t hesitate in flinging off her own clothing and jumping right back into bed. That day had been magical while they moved as one, the feeling of-

Her watch bleeps, pulling Emma out of her thoughts and alerting her to another mile she’s completed and calculating what her pace is. She glances down at it to check but notices the time instead, her eyes widen and immediately she turns towards Alistair's office.

‘Shit! Shit! Shit!’ Emma screams in her head as she starts running faster and berates herself for being in her own little world. Not realising she had gone further then she originally planned.

Currently she was twenty minutes away from Alistair’s office and her appointment was in ten minutes. She’s going to be late and Emma hates being late. The blonde pumps her arms and wishes she could call out for people to move or apologies when she makes people jump as she sprints past.

Finally Alistair’s building comes into view but Emma doesn’t slow down until she slides in front of the building's door and presses the buzzer four times to alert the alien she has arrived.

“Come on up Emma!” Alistair’s warm voice calls through the speaker and the buzzing of the lock follows, allowing Emma to push the door open.

The blonde races up the stairs two at a time, putting her wireless headphones in their case and turns into the hallway towards Alistair’s office door. Finding that the red headed alien was already standing in the doorway and gently smiling at her.

‘I’m so, so sorry! I’m so late! Time got away from me and-’ Emma’s mind screams out as she quickly approaches the therapist, automatically reaching up and deactivating the modifier.

“Emma, it's okay! You’re actually right on time!”

The blonde halts and frowns, immediately lifting her arm up to look at her watch. She notices the running app is still on and quickly ends the session before looking at the time.

Alistair was correct… She was right on time.

‘Huh… I must have read it wrong.’ Emma muses as she tries to visualise what she saw as she was running.

“Possibly.” Alistair agrees and moves out of the way to let her in.

As soon as she enters the office the patter of paws makes her look up from her watch as Lily excitedly trots over to her.

‘Lily!’ Emma drops to her knees and affectionately strokes under Lily’s chin. The snowy white german shepherd greets her in kind with many licks to her face and arms, lapping up the light sheen of sweat covering them, causing Emma to release a few voiceless laughs.

“She’s always happy to see you.” Alistair says cheerfully and moves towards his chair, motioning for Emma to sit on the sofa.

Straightening up Emma makes her way over with Lily right beside her.

“The water is for you as well. Did you have a good run?” Alistair asks, as Emma sits down, takes her trainers off and sits crossed legged. Lily instantly hops onto the sofa next to her and rests her head on the blonde’s lap.

Emma glances at the coffee table in front of her, on it was a box of tissues, a few books and a glass of water with a lemon slice and a few cubes of ice.

‘Thank you and yes it was good.’ Emma thinks gratefully as she carefully leans forward to get the glass, not wanting to jostle Lily too much. Seeing this, Alistair helps by getting the glass first and holding it out for Emma to take.

“Great and thank you for being willing to move your appointment to today. I am sorry about having to rearrange our time together.” Alistair says sincerely.

‘It’s okay.’ Emma shrugs, she normally sees Alistair during the week. ‘Not like I had much planned for today anyway.’ A small twinge hits Emma’s heart.

“Okay, how’s the last few days been?” Alistair asks as he leans back against the leather armchair and studies her. Emma takes a few gulps of the cool water as she thinks.

‘Yea, it wasn't too bad.’ Memories of the week flashes through her mind, who she saw, the smells, her heart clenching whenever she’d wake up in an empty apartment-

“Ah, I take it Lena is still working a lot?” Alistair asks with a sympathetic smile.

‘Yea.’ Emma answers softly in her mind, her shoulders slump and Lily licks her hand, making the blonde slowly stroke her head. ‘I understand these new investors are important, I know how important her work is but-’ Emma stops her thoughts and looks out of the window at the sea in the distance.

“You miss her.” Alistair finishes for her and Emma lowers her head.

‘Yea.’ Emma thinks weakly and can’t help but visualise their early relationship. How excited Emma was to get back to her hotel room to spend some time with her girlfriend, no matter how exhausted she felt after a gig. ‘I love her so much, I’d give my life for her but I just miss what we had when she wasn’t so busy. I mean we made it work when I was on tour and I’d call her even with the different time zones and it would be early in the morning for me.’

“That is understandable.” Alistair comments as he rests a finger beside his cheek as he ponders what Emma revealed. “You have both been through some major changes. Has she given you a time frame for when things look to be getting back to normal?”

-- -- --

During the week - Lena and Emma’s apartment

Emma checks her phone for the umpteenth time as she gets ready for Lena. On Sunday they had planned to have a date during the week and go out for dinner. Something they haven’t been able to do recently.

Emma voicelessly sighs while putting the finishing touches on her makeup, thankful that her hard work transfers through the modified face.

Standing up from the dressing table the blonde heads towards the walk-in wardrobe and takes the dress, she had spent hours deciding on, off the hanger. The dress was teal coloured, elegantly pleated and Emma had fallen in love with it as soon as she saw it. Also finding she was loving the dress even more when she zipped herself up and admired the way it hugged her toned body. She then steps into her trusted black high heeled shoes and opens her jewelry box.

For a moment she looks for her layered necklace her sisters got her. Only to feel a devastating pang when she remembers Kara crushed it.

‘No… Not Kara.’ Emma shakes her head and closes the lid. She heads out into the living area and glances at her phone again.

No new messages from Lena.

Emma flops onto the sofa, ignoring the dull ache in her head that hasn’t disappeared since leaving the DEO. Naturally when anyone asks her about it the blonde shrugs it off, not wanting to worry her friends and family anymore then she already has.

Laying down on the sofa Emma opens her phone and scrolls through social media to pass the time. She yawns and starts to feel her eyes grow heavy and eventually they close as she falls into a deep sleep.

So deep that even when the apartment door opens and closes, Emma doesn’t stir. Or when heeled shoes click over to her.

What does wake her up is a hand gently shaking her shoulder. Emma jumps, her eyes fly open as she takes a sharp intake of breath.

“Sorry love.” Lena apologises softly and strokes Emma’s cheek with the back of her fingers.

Emma nuzzles her face into Lena’s hand and kisses it before sitting up. Which causes her to become face to face with the raven haired beauty as Lena sat next to the sleeping blonde.

Emma smiles and goes to kiss Lena, until she sees the time on the oven clock. Her eyes widen and she pulls back.

“Em?” Lena pouts at the halted kiss.

“The reservation! We’re late.” Emma moves to jump off the sofa but Lena places a hand on her shoulder, halting her movements.

“I cancelled it.” Lena says hesitantly and Emma blinks at her. “I’m sorry, it got so late and you weren’t answering your phone and-”

Emma places a finger on Lena’s lips, sensing the rising guilt and panic in her girlfriend. Reaching out she unlocks her phone, noticing the messages but instead goes into Hope’s app and turns the lights up from a soft glow.

Lena’s eyes squint at the sudden light and Emma studies her properly.

Despite the make up Lena was wearing, Emma can see the dark circles under her tired, reddened eyes. Emma opens her arms and Lena immediately falls into the hug and kisses her cheek. Slowly Emma leans back into the corner of the sofa, pulling Lena up with her.

“Emma!” Lena giggles and Emma feels Lena settle on top of her and snuggles in. The blonde slowly rubs circles into her girlfriend’s back and eventually feels Lena twitch, signalling she’s fallen asleep.

Carefully grabbing her phone, Emma opens UberEats and decides to get Lena’s favourite food. Seeing that it will be delivered in half an hour, Emma rests her head back against the cushions and enjoys the feeling of holding her girlfriend. Grateful that even though they haven’t gone out on a date, Lena has still come home and given Emma this time with her.

When the food arrives Emma carefully lifts the snoozing CEO off her and quietly runs to the door. But no matter how careful Emma is at keeping quiet, when she turns around Lena is sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

“Em?” Lena’s husky voice calls out.

Emma lets out a huff of frustration as she wants to tell her dinner is ready. She wants to speak the words of love she is longing to say.

Instead Emma strides over to the sofa and places the bag on the coffee table.

“Hmm, you know me so well.” Lena smirks at the sight of the logo on the bag.

The couple settle on the sofa and listen to a playlist of soft acoustic music as they eat.

“I-” Lena starts and hesitates. Turning her head Emma gazes into regretful green eyes and watches Lena swallow before she continues. “I just want to apologise for ruining our date tonight. Time just got away from me and… there's no excuse.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it's not.” Lena tries to implore Emma to listen. “Just- this won’t be forever. I promise you that. I’m taking time off for the surgery and afterwards to look after you. It’s one of the reasons I’ve been working nonstop, so my sole focus will be on you.” She reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind Emma’s ear.

Emma beams at her, taking Lena’s hand and kisses it.

“What have you been working on?” Emma asks and Lena explains the many projects she’s been developing with the investors and her team. Emma’s eyes widen at how complex it all sounds and nods along.

Soon they finish their meal and despite how tired they both are, they head to bed for a different reason than sleep.

-- -- --

Emma comes out of the memory before she shows anything risque to her therapist. But she cannot help but smile softly at the feeling of Lena’s arms wrapped around her.

“Interesting. So there wasn’t a set time frame, just that it won’t be forever?”

‘Yea.’ Emma looks down and runs her fingers smoothly through Lily’s fur.

“Have you tried asking Lena further?”

‘She apologises and says the same thing she’s been saying for a while. Now isn’t forever.’

Alistair nods and looks down at his notes as he jots down a few more. “How are you sleeping?”

Emma hesitates, causing Alistair to look back up at her. Feeling an unease emit from the blonde.

“Emma?” Alistair asks, his eyes imploring her to be truthful with him.

‘I haven’t been sleeping well. I’m finding I-’ Emma pauses, not wanting to admit what's been happening. Taking a deep breath her mind shows him instead. Horrible nightmares that have Emma jumping awake in a panic, drenched in sweat, only to find she is alone in bed.

“You’re still experiencing nightmares?”

Emma nods.

“More than usual, less or about the same?”

‘I-’ Emma lifts her head as she tries to remember. ‘It feels about the same.’

“Okay, that is something that we will still work on and honestly I’m not surprised you are still having them.” Alistair says compassionately, trying to help Emma see she is doing nothing wrong.

“What about your sisters? How are things going with them?”

‘It’s going well. Things almost feel back to normal.’

Emma’s mind brings up the memories of Alex chasing her around the beach, laughing as she tries to catch her until she finally jumps on Emma’s back.

And memories of Kara come forward where she’d fly into the apartment bearing gifts of Emma’s favourite food, like Cadbury chocolates from the UK. The pair would snuggle up on the sofa and watch a film while they gorge on the treats.

‘I know she still feels guilty, but she doesn’t flinch when we hug or touch anymore.’

“That's a good improvement for sure. But it seems Kara is still not as open as Alex yet?” Alistair enquiries, causing Emma to pause as she reflects.

‘No?’ She answers unsure. ‘I mean, Alex still holds back in certain areas. I still catch her looking at me with such a sad expression. They both do.’ Emma plays with her hands as her sisters’ mournful faces fill her mind, that is until Lily nuzzles her nose into her fiddling hands, allowing Emma to stroke her instead. ‘Maybe it's due to Kara’s trauma?’

“Most likely.” Alistair nods in agreement. “The thing is, each of us are different, we have different likes, different dislikes and our brains are wired uniquely. Therefore we can react differently to the same events, depending on who we are.”

Emma nods and rests her head against the back of the sofa as she thinks. ‘That makes sense. So, for Alex, she has trained to be a soldier, her natural instinct is to fight and follow orders. To lead and protect. But for Kara she grew up on another planet, with a particular upbringing, she witnessed that planet being destroyed, all she had known, gone in an instant.’ Emma’s heart pangs in sympathy, remembering how shell shocked Kara had been when Clark brought her to the Danvers. A new family and a new way of life. ‘She had to be so careful, even when walking, to not put her foot through the floorboards or hurt any of us.’

“Like a god among mortals.” Alistair nods in agreement. “From what you’ve told me before, it sounds like fear was instilled in her as soon as she arrived, that she could easily hurt anyone she came in contact with.”

Emma nods.

“So, Kara broke that promise when she hurt you-” Emma immediately interrupts in her mind but Alistair holds his hand up, halting her. “To Kara, she did hurt you and I know you keep repeating that she didn’t, but from Kara’s point of view it was her hand that crushed your neck and broke your bones. She hurt someone she cares deeply about and using the powers she had sworn would protect people.”

Emma lowers her head and pinches the bridge of her nose. Feeling the pounding in her head intensify.

“Like Supergirl, you can’t protect and save everyone.” Alistair says softly, imploring for Emma to understand.

‘I know.’ Emma admits sadly, she feels Lily move and nuzzle her head against Emma’s cheek, as if sensing her pain.

The pair sit in silence for a while. The ticking of the clock being the only noise in the room.

“How are you feeling about the surgery next week?” Alistair looks up at the clock. “You’d have just gone into the theatre.”

‘Honestly, I can’t wait for it.’ Emma thinks softly and the familiar sense of butterflies start fluttering around her stomach.

“How are you feeling about that?”

‘Nervous. Excited. Terrified.’

“Terrified? About the procedure?”

Emma hesitates. Lily, seemingly sensing her tension, lovingly licks Emma’s cheek and nuzzles her head into Emma’s hand. Causing Emma to continue stroking her.

“Emma?”

‘I am terrified about the operation not working, that it's going to make things bad again.’

“How so?”

‘It seems to be a constant reminder when I have to sign or when I go to laugh or make any noise, but all that comes out is breath.’ Emma thinks mournfully and glances out the window, memories of her sisters’ guarded eyes fill her mind. ‘I know this will take time before things can go back to normal. I just don’t want the progress we’ve made to be destroyed because the op didn’t work.’

“And if that happens?”

Emma’s stomach drops at the thought. But her mind focuses on those around her. Her family, friends and Lena. How would they react?

“Emma.” Alistair softly sighs, placing his book on the coffee table and leans forward. “You need to focus on yourself. Which you have been doing and I am pleased with our progress with your PTSD. We both know this isn’t a quick or an easy road. But you need to focus on how you feel about your voice not returning right away or, possibly ever.”

Emma swallows deeply at Alistair’s words, her throat feeling like it’s going to close over. ‘I understand.’

“Good.” Alistair picks his notebook back up and settles back into the seat. “Is there anything else you wish to discuss?”

Emma pauses and focuses on Lily as she runs her fingers through the soft fur.

‘There is something else.’ Emma admits quietly. Almost as if she’s too scared to present it.

“Which is?” Alistair asks kindly, but Emma keeps her mind closed off. “Emma, you don’t have to share if you don’t want to-”

Images start filling his mind, of the world blurring and morphing around Emma. How one second she’s at one end of the apartment and the next she’s at the other end, normally crashing into something or stumbling. How she easily lifts items others seem to struggle with, lifting Lena and Alex like they were light as a feather. Her headaches and heightened senses, especially her sensitive hearing and being able to hear a whisper across a room. How overwhelming the noise can become when she’s in a crowded place.

Alistair also feels fear and confusion pour off the young woman.

“Emma, you have nothing to fear here.” Alistair implores the blonde. “And thank you for showing me. How long have you noticed these- moments?”

‘Only recently when… erm.’ Emma’s cheeks colour in an intense blush as she remembers the moment she heard a crack from the headboard during an intense orgasm on Sunday while she rode Lena’s strap. Looking down she noticed the wood was splintering and cracking under her hands.

Once Lena was asleep Emma had sat up and felt the cracks again. She stayed there for a while as pieces started to click into place. Something was wrong with her.

“Nothing is wrong with you.” Alistair says firmly, his eyes imploring Emma to listen. “Can we test this theory that something is happening to you?” Alistair asks as he straightens up.

Emma nods and watches as he gets up and goes to one of his many bookcases. The redhead picks something up and strides back over to her. In his hand is a small, shiny ball.

“Squeeze this as hard as you can.” Alistair says while handing her the ball and moves her empty glass to sit on the coffee table in front of her.

Lily sits up, intrigued by the object Emma is holding.

‘Okay.’ Emma starts squeezing and applies more and more pressure.

Nothing happens.

“Keep a hold of it but look at me.” Alistair instructs and Emma lifts her eyes and focuses on his kind crystal blue ones.

“Have they gotten any closer to finding those responsible?” Alistair carefully asks, his eyes searching Emma’s hazel green ones.

‘No.’ Emma’s face and eyes darken and she clenches her jaw.

“Are Kara and Alex putting up the right precautions to not get taken again? I imagine they are prime targets as they are close to you? Maybe someone like Winn or Lucy or maybe your Mom or even Lena could be taken next?”

The thought of her family, her friends, her loved ones being forced into what Alex and Kara have already gone through fills Emma with a powerful rage.

She grits her teeth and her hold on the silver ball tightens.

Alistair’s eyes flick down to her hand. “Emma, look.”

The blonde lowers her gaze and gapes at the hand imprint she has made on the now disproportionate ball.

“This is a ball of titanium.” Alistair says as he picks the metal up out of Emma’s hand. “Or was.” He mutters as he turns it around in his hands.

‘What’s happening to me?’ Emma thinks, terrified at what this could mean.

“I don’t know.” Alistair truthfully admits. “Maybe it’s to do with the serum they gave you?”

‘But it was a healing serum? Not a super soldier thing!’ Emma’s mind shouts, her panic starting to build.

“That may be the case, but you need to communicate with Lena, Brainy or Doctor Hamilton about this.”

‘Do I have to?’ Emma apprehensively asks.

“Yes. Because this-” Alistair holds up the distorted piece of titanium. “Is not normal.”

Emma nods but her face scrunches up in emotion.

‘You always like being the center of attention! I hate you!’ Alex’s teenage words scream within Emma’s mind, causing her to hide her head in her hands.

“Emma?” Alistair tilts his head and Lily nuzzles her nose into the side of the blonde’s face.

‘I’m just Emma, plain, simple Emma.’ Her thoughts come out weak and feeble.

“Emma, there is nothing plain or simple about you. You are one of the most talented people I know. Your voice reaches and touches millions of lives and gives them hope.” He says passionately and before Emma can respond a buzzer goes off. “And that’s the end of our session for this week.” He says apologetically. “But we’ve made some really good progress. Emma-” Alistair says to get Emma to look at him. Slowly she lowers her hands and lifts her head. Her eyes swimming in anguish. “I really recommend that you tell someone what is happening. Anyone you feel comfortable sharing with. Maybe Lucy or Sam?” Alistair gently offers. “Just don’t keep this to yourself.”

Emma nods and gets up, making Lily jump off the sofa and trots with her to the door.

“Did you want to meet up on Wednesday like usual? Or did you want to come here on Friday instead?” Alistair offers as he follows behind her with his diary.

‘Yea Wednesday sounds good.’

“Great! I’ll see you then! Have a good weekend and remember what I said.” Alistair opens the door and smiles at her.

Emma nods but feels slightly frustrated that the appointment ended just as they were getting somewhere. She quickly rushes through, feeling like she has more questions than answers.

What’s going on?

Did she have powers?

How could that be?

Over and over these questions cycle through her mind as she makes her way down the stairs.

She passes a mirror and suddenly remembers to put the face modifier on. She chooses the face with the Marilyn Monroe beauty mark that is quickly becoming one of her favourite to use.

As she exits the building Emma starts to get her headphones out and plans a route to run home. That is until a car quickly pulls up beside her and honks loudly. Causing Emma to jump high into the air.

“Get in loser we’re going shopping!” Alex yells across Kara who beams at Emma from the open passenger window.

But the blonde momentarily stays frozen, trying to process what just happened and her sisters’ beaming faces.

“Em?” Kara’s smile fades and a frown replaces it, making Emma quickly open the back door of Alex’s car and dive in.

“Seatbelt.” Alex orders as she turns to study her baby sister. ‘She must have had a hard session.’ Alex thinks and her eyes snap to Kara’s who looks to be thinking the same thing as she bites her lip in worry.

Once Emma is belted in Alex pulls back into traffic. “Hope you didn’t mind us picking you up?” She calls back to Emma and watches her shake her head in the rearview mirror.

Kara twists around so she can see Emma properly. “We thought we could have a sister’s day and have a movie marathon?”

“Sounds good.” Emma signs and tries to smile convincingly.

“Plus it's your turn to choose!” Alex says trying to sound more upbeat than normal and wants to remind Emma. Normally her blonde sister would clap loudly and take a while to choose. Going back and forth between many classics and their favourites. Even discussing pros and cons between the choices she has.

Instead, Emma simply nods in response before gazing out of the window. Making Kara and Alex exchange worried glances as they continue towards Alex’s apartment.

Soon they are parked in Alex's parking space and the sisters get out. Emma goes to walk towards the elevator when Alex stops her.

“Do you mind giving us a hand?” Alex asks while she pops the boot open. Bags upon bags of food are revealed, causing Emma to raise an eyebrow at her sisters.

“I know! I was hungry!” Kara whines and immediately grabs a donut from one of the bags and chomps on it.

“Kara!” Alex yells and swats at her.

“Sorry! Do you want one?” Kara says with her mouth full and offers Alex a donut.

Emma can’t help but smile at the pair and reaches down to take a few bags.

“Wait! Em they are-” Alex pauses as Emma effortlessly lifts them up. “Heavy… Guess not.”

Emma momentarily freezes and remembers what she had Alistair had discussed, instead she shrugs and smiles at the red head instead.

“I got these!” Kara announces and takes the rest.

“You left me with one.” Alex says unimpressed while closing the boot. “Emma, give me a few.”

The blonde looks down and hands her sister the bags full of light goodies.

“I can take a few more.” Alex raises an eyebrow at Emma and holds her hand out. But Emma responds in a shrug and strolls towards the elevator. Alex turns her head towards Kara who repeats Emma’s shrug and follows.

As soon as they enter the apartment Emma places the bags on the island and quickly disengages her face modifier. Silently sighing in relief as she massages her cheeks.

Kara places her bags on the island and pulls out a small USB drive from her jean pocket. “Winn kindly let us borrow his drive with all the films past and present. Wouldn’t let me borrow films of the future though… Especially those based on real events.”

“Wonder why?” Alex laughs and places the last of the bags on the island. She looks to see Emma’s response, but the blonde is too busy unpacking the bags. “Em?”

Hazel green eyes shoot up and an unusual blank look accompanies Emma’s face.

“You okay?” Alex asks with a frown and takes a step towards her baby sister. But Emma takes a step away from her and around the island.

“Can I have a shower? I still feel a bit gross from my run.” Emma signs while barely looking at her sisters.

“Sure! You know you don’t need to ask!” Alex utters and watches Emma nod before zipping into the bathroom.

“Shall I get you some clothes?” Kara calls out while giving Alex a concerned look, the redhead mirrors it with a frown.

Emma pops her head around the door and nods, giving them a grateful smile before quickly disappearing again.

Kara approaches Alex’s closet. “Kara, wait!” Alex yells but the blonde has already opened the door.

“Huh, Alex-” Kara tilts her head and slowly turns back to her sister. “Why are most of your clothes not in your closet?”

“Er, laundry day?” Alex says not too convincingly and can tell by Kara’s face, she doesn’t believe her.

“That’s a question.” Kara places a hand on her hip and studies the redhead.

“Okay I can explain, but I want to tell both of you. Together.”

“Okay.” Kara grins at her sister and turns back to the closet to find something for Emma to wear.

“There should be a bag of Em’s things by the right?” Alex says while getting glasses and bowls for the drinks and snacks for the marathon.

“Found it!” Kara hollers, takes the bag out and places it on the bed. She opens it and tries to find the comfiest clothes for Emma to wear.

“Do you need any help?” Kara asks after getting Emma’s things ready.

“Can you move these to the coffee table please?” Alex asks and then gives Kara a hard look when she grabs two huge bowls filled with treats. “Do not start eating until we are all sitting on the sofa.”

“Yes ma’am.” Kara deadpans and starts transferring the stuff over from the island to the coffee table, while Alex gets the microwavable popcorn ready. Finding they all prefer fresh, hot popcorn to normal bagged ones.

Kara hears the shower turn off and super speeds over to grab the clothes she has chosen for Emma and practically skips to the door, knocking on it in a quick rhythm.

“Hey Em, I got some comfy clothes for you to change into.” Kara calls through the door and hears Emma moving around the bathroom. The door opens and Emma’s hand appears to take it. “There you go!” When the door closes again Kara heads to Alex sitting on the sofa. Her sunny attitude fading as her face morphs into one of worry. “Do you think she had a hard session today?”

“Yea maybe. I mean she hasn’t seemed the happiest the past few days.”

“Mhmm, do you think it's mainly due to Lena? She’s working way too hard.”

“When doesn’t she?!” Alex takes a sip of her drink. “Shall we order or wait for Em to decide?”

“Let’s wait.” Kara nods and sits back into the sofa cushions.

“But how is Lena, like, have you gone to see her recently?”

“Yea, I saw her last night on patrol. Actually had to forcibly remove her from her office but we had a good chat. She just holds onto what her damn family says too much.”

“Yea.” Alex says softly in agreement. She’s grown to really care for Lena, despite the rocky start. “But she’s taking time off soon for the- you know.”

“Yes, that's the plan.” They both ignore the word surgery and both feel their nerves bubbling up about it. “Are you taking any ti-”

The bathroom door opens, making the sisters drop their conversation and look at their baby sister.

Emma feels more relaxed after the warm shower but the sudden stop in her sisters’ conversation when she leaves the bathroom fills Emma with an uneasy feeling.

“Were you talking about me?” Emma signs with a tilt of her head as she continues to dry her hair with a towel.

“Just about what food we fancy.” Kara smiles too brightly. “And as usual we want the complete opposite and I was asking Alex what she thought you would want.”

“Yea and I didn’t get to answer cause that’s when you came in.”

Emma stops drying her hair and looks between her two sisters, her eyes darting back and forth. She doesn’t believe them but decides to go along with their explanation. “So what are the options? I mean, we can get different things right? Not like it will go to waste?”

“Now that is an excellent idea.” Alex nods in approval and gives Kara a bright smile as she unlocks her phone to open UberEats. “So Kara you wanted-”

“Potstickers.” Emma signs at the same time Kara enthusiastically yells the word out.

“You know me so well little one!” Kara laughs, making Emma pause, realising Kara hasn’t called her that in a while.

But she carries on drying her hair before flinging the towel towards Alex’s hamper.

“Em-” Alex starts to complain, thinking the towel would flop part of the way there. But the screwed up towel lands perfectly in the laundry basket. “Ma- huh, good throw.”

Emma bows and approaches where she normally sits in the middle of the sofa.

“Peanut, what do you fancy?” Alex looks up from her phone after putting in her order too.

Emma shrugs and grabs a handful of popcorn.

“That’s for the film!” Alex hollers and slaps Emma’s hand, causing her to jump. “Which you also need to choose what you want to watch.”

“I’ll do it!” Kara super speeds to where she left the USB, plugs it into Alex’s tv and hands Emma the remote to scroll through.

“But first I need to know what you want to eat.”

Emma shoves the rest of the popcorn in her mouth to sign. “What have you already ordered?”

“Chinese and pizza.”

“I’m happy with that. Not feeling overly hungry.”

“What?” Kara blinks in shock especially when Emma can eat a decent amount of food.

“What have you eaten today? Did you have a big breakfast?” Alex enquiries, also knowing it was unusual for Emma not to demand her own food.

“Yes Doctor Danvers, I have already eaten something today.” It was only a banana but Emma wasn’t going to admit that. Her session with Alistair has unsettled her stomach.

“Yea but what was it?” Alex presses but Emma ignores her by focusing on the tv and trying to decide what to watch. Making Alex narrow her eyes. “Emma.”

But her eyes move from Emma to Kara when her other sister motions for her to stop by signing. “Can’t you see something is wrong?”

“I know but I want to find out what!” Alex tries to sign out of Emma’s peripheral vision.

“Leave her alone Alex.” Kara warns, making Alex huff which causes Emma to look over at her and Alex gives her a soft smile.

“So, any idea what we are gonna watch?” Alex asks casually and Kara rolls her eyes.

“Lord Of The Rings Extended Editions?” Emma signs hopefully, knowing the full run time is nearly twelve hours long.

“I’m up for that!” Alex beams at the TV as the menu screen for ‘The Fellowship Of The Ring’ comes up.

“Me too!” Kara claps and settles back into the sofa. Emma smiles at both of her sisters and grabs the blanket draped over the back and places it over their laps.

“Thanks Em.”

The sisters watch the opening scenes fold out, explaining the lore of Middle Earth, the darkness and the moment all things were almost lost.

When the whistle of the Shire plays, Emma’s eyes well with tears and she sniffs. Always finding this piece of music touches her. She feels a hand on each thigh as her sisters reach out to comfort her at the same time and Emma hesitantly takes each hand. Warily to not harm them and being frightened to do so.

‘Rao, is this how Kara feels all the time?’

But Emma tries to push her earlier discovery away and gets lost in the film again.

The loud ringing of the apartment buzzer makes Emma almost jump out of her seat.

“Food!” Kara yells as she flies to the door and down the stairs to grab it from the delivery person.

Emma pauses the film and turns to Alex to sign with a raised eyebrow. “Do you think Kara is secretly a Hobbit?” Emma signs, causing Alex to almost spit out the drink she was sipping. “I mean, she has what, four breakfasts?”

Alex cackles loudly and Emma smiles at the sound.

“What are you laughing at?” Kara asks as she super speeds into the room with the food perfectly balanced in her hands.

“Oh, we were just comparing you to a Hobbit.” Alex teases and grins at the blonde.

“Alex!” Kara looks outraged. “I do not have big, hairy feet!”

“It was Emma’s idea!” Alex motions at Emma.

“Emma!” Kara shifts her focus to her baby sister but Emma shrugs and grabs her pizza off the pile.

“I mean, she’s not wrong.” Alex says as she opens a tub of potstickers for Emma and her to share.

“Alex!” Kara yells outraged.

“Kara!” Alex yells mockingly back.

“Emma!” The blonde signs and the trio start laughing. Alex rests her forehead against the side of Emma’s face. Emma turns her head to nuzzle Alex’s and smiles when she feels Kara lean over and hug both of them. Emma twists to place a kiss on Kara's shoulder.

Alex clears her throat and pulls away. “Shall we press play?”

Emma nods and grabs the remote, continuing the film.

The sisters watch the first film and immediately go into the second one, which to Emma, is her favourite. Especially the scenes with Arwen in.

When they get to the scene with Arwen talking to her father, Emma swallows deeply.

“There is still hope.” Arwen whispers back.

Emma’s stomach clenches at the words. Hope.

“Little one?” Kara turns to look at Emma, hearing her heartbeat changing.

Alex immediately grabs the remote to pause the film when she sees tears fill her sister's eyes and how Emma is desperately trying to hide them.

“No, I’m fine. Please continue the film.”

“Actually I need to use the bathroom!” Kara zips up and Alex pauses the film anyway.

She watches Emma closely as she rubs her eyes, trying to force away the tears. “Em? You know you can always tell me what’s going on? Right?”

Emma nods but doesn’t look Alex in the eye, knowing she’d break. “It was a hard session today, sorry.”

“Oh Em, please don’t apologise.” Alex says and pulls her sister into her lap, hugging her close. She feels Emma stiffen but slowly relaxes in her arms.

Kara comes back and Alex gives her a sad look.

“Everything okay?” She asks while sitting down next to them.

“It was a hard session.” Alex answers softly.

“Oh little one.” Kara places a gentle hand on Emma’s back and Emma can’t hold the tears back anymore as she buries her head into the crook of Alex’s shoulder.

Alex and Kara sadly gaze at each other, unsure what they can say or do as they listen to Emma’s hard breaths and sniffs.

Kara swallows and shuffles closer, hugging Emma’s back. “We got you little one, you're safe.” Kara feels Emma shift and move her hand over her shoulder to grab a hold of hers.

They don’t know how long they stay in this position but Kara and Alex do not move until Emma feels ready. They whisper words of love and encouragement and hope she hears them.

Suddenly Kara’s head snaps to the apartment door as she hears two sets of footprints approach. The door opens before she can do anything as Sam and Lena walk through. They both halt at the sight of the sisters.

“What's wrong?” Sam whispers quietly as she places the takeaway food on the coffee table and goes to Alex’s side, perching on the edge of the sofa.

“Hard session.” Alex answers softly and kisses Sam’s lips.

“Has she mentioned anything else?” Lena asks quietly and watches as Emma immediately lifts her head up and twists her neck to find her. Lena swallows as she sees the tears streaming down Emma’s reddened cheeks, her eyes puffy and bloodshot. “Oh love.” Lena says brokenly and goes to comfort her girlfriend, but halts as she doesn’t know where she can go.

Kara immediately moves out of the way, allowing Lena to sit next to Alex and hug Emma’s back. But Emma has other ideas as she twists and moves her upper body onto Lena and holds her close, burying her head into Lena’s neck but her lower half stays on Alex’s lap.

“We got you love.” Lena soothes while stroking Emma’s damp hair and back. She feels Kara scoot close and Lena signals that Kara can join the hug. Immediately Kara wraps an arm around Lena and places a hand gently on Emma’s lower back.

The four women quietly console the broken woman in between them and each other. Wishing nothing more than to heal Emma’s pain.

In time Emma loses steam and slowly lifts her head from the crook of Lena’s neck and sniffs heavily.

“Hi love.” Lena says gently and Emma nuzzles their foreheads together and breathes deeply.

Emma feels truly exhausted, not having cried like that in weeks, well, since she found out about her paralysed vocal chords.

“Is this the time though?” Emma’s ear picks up Alex quietly whispering to Sam.

“Maybe it will make her happy?” Sam offers back, making Emma turn her head towards the couple.

“What will make me happy?” Emma sloppily signs and Kara shifts so she can see the couple too. A small smile gracing her lips.

“Well, erm…” Alex pauses. “I’ve found I’m not really living here anymore because I’m mainly around Sam's apartment.”

“So, we’ve decided that Alex will move in with Ruby and I.” Sam finishes with a huge grin.

Emma blinks and her eyes dart around Alex’s apartment. She had noticed little trinkets and items missing but thought nothing of it.

“Congratulations!” Kara yells happily and jumps to her feet to hug her sister and Sam.

“Thanks Kara.” Alex hugs Kara back and turns back to Emma, who still looks like she’s processing. “Em?”

She watches as Emma’s eyes refocus and a small smile tugs at the corner of her right lip. She lifts her hands and holds one hand with the other and firmly shakes them. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks Em.” Alex smiles back.

“And, you can totally come crash at ours anytime, use the spare room and have sister nights.” Sam smiles at Emma and Kara.

“Well, not ANY-time.” Alex burrows her nose into her girlfriend’s cheek and Sam blushes and bites her lip.

Emma raises an eyebrow and smirks at Lena. She takes a shuddering deep breath as her body calms down from her breakdown.

“Do we want to finish the film and watch the third one another time?” Kara asks while looking through the takeout bags.

Missing the way Emma whips around to gape at her.

“But then it's not a movie marathon!”

“Kara.” Lena says to get the alien’s attention out of the bag containing burgers and french fries.

“Hmm?” Kara’s eyes are wide as she looks to see what her best friend wants.

“Emma was signing to you.”

“Sorry little one.” Kara says apologetically.

“But then it's not a movie marathon.”

“I agree!” Kara nods and shoves some french fries in her mouth. “Shall we get comfy?!”

“I need to pee.” Emma signs and carefully moves off her sister and girlfriend. But as she takes a step away from them the world morphs around her.

‘Please! Not now!’ Emma’s mind yells and she tries to halt her step, ultimately causing her to trip over her own feet.

“Wow careful Em!” Alex laughs. “Rao you are getting more clumsy than Kara!”

“Hey!” Kara yells back offended, making Lena and Sam chuckle in response.

Emma smiles back at them but moves cautiously to the bathroom door.

“Did she mention anything else?” Emma hears Lena ask as soon as she closes the bathroom door.

“No, she’s been quieter than normal.” Alex sighs heavily, making Emma’s heart clench.

“Like she wasn’t here.” Kara agrees.

“Well therapy sessions can be tough sometimes and it’s good Emma is obviously opening up.” Sam tries to reassure the group while plating up everyone's food.

Emma tries not to listen but her ears can’t help but pick up her loved one’s voices. She finishes what she is doing and washes her hands. Briefly pausing and leaning against the sink.

‘Should I tell them?’ Emma wonders and her eyes lift her to her distressed expression. Immediately she wipes her face and adopts a more neutral expression. ‘They have enough to deal with anyway.’

Suddenly she feels a piercing pain in her head. So severe that if she had her voice, Emma would have screamed out as she scrunches up her eyes. Emma then feels a droplet fall from her nose and her eyes shoot open. Her nose is bleeding. She quickly grabs some toilet paper to stem the flow. But, finds nothing more comes out, the nosebleed seemingly stops before it had even begun.

Confused, Emma repeatedly wipes at her nose a few times to make sure it had indeed stopped.

‘Weird.’ Emma mutters in her mind as she stares down at the blood on the tissue. Her head tilts as she assesses the colour and her eyebrows knit together.

“Emma?” Sam’s muffled voice calls through the door, making Emma recoil away from it. “Are you okay in there?”

Throwing the bloodied piece of tissue into the toilet, Emma flushes it, quickly washes her hands and moves towards the door, opening it to a concerned looking Sam.

“You okay?” She asks as her warm brown eyes seemingly studies the blonde in front of her.

Emma nods and gives her a small smile before moving past her to get back to the sofa.

Sam follows, watching Emma closely and sits on Alex’s turquoise chair. Emma hesitates, not sure where she can sit due to the sofa looking full with her sisters and Lena already on it.

“There’s room for you on here too, it will be a tight squeeze but I think we can manage.” Lena pats the small gap between her and Alex. Emma carefully wedges herself between the two and gratefully takes the plate Kara hands to her. Already feeling a bit hungry.

“Ready?” Alex asks while grabbing the remote.

“Ready!” Sam and Kara yell back and the room is again filled with the sights and sounds of Middle Earth.

-- -- --

Later that night Kara, Emma and Lena glide through the air towards Lena’s apartment.

“I mean, why couldn’t Gandalf have just got the Eagles to fly Frodo and the ring to Mount Doom?” Kara argues with Lena while Emma listens and smiles, enjoying the debate between the two.

“Because they are their own beings plus Sauron had the Fellbeast and the Nazgûl would have seen the eagles coming!”

“Huh, I guess. But! Then why didn’t the fellowship prepare for that? Have a few more elves firing arrows? Problem solved!” Kara declares as they touch down on the balcony.

“If you say so, Kara.” Lena beams at her best friend as Kara gently places her feet on solid ground and Emma lets off her sister.

“Well, goodnight.” Kara opens her arms and hugs Lena tight before turning and giving Emma a hug too.

“Night.” Lena yawns out and opens the balcony door with Emma following behind her and waving goodbye to Kara.

They get ready for bed together and Lena can’t help but notice the far off look in Emma’s eyes. Like her girlfriend was somewhere else.

When they slide into bed, Lena gently takes Emma’s hand and lies on her side to fully look at her girlfriend.

“Hey.” Lena gently whispers.

Emma slowly turns her head and her eyes focus on concerned green ones.

“Are you okay?”

Swallowing deeply Emma turns to lie on her side to face Lena. Her mind races with what to communicate. Should she tell her everything?

“Love, please don’t lie to me.” Lena says, seeing the clogs working in Emma’s mind, and the worry within her eyes. But suddenly Lena is yawning again. “Sorry.” She blinks and widens her eyes more to keep them open.

Emma gives her a small smile and watches her closely. ‘She’s exhausted. Tell her a half truth.’

“I’m nervous about next week.”

“That’s understandable. But we are all with you.” Lena nuzzles her forehead against Emma’s and gently kisses her lips. Her hand slowly trails down Emma’s body.

But Emma pulls back and her smile widens slightly. “Time for sleep.”

“But I want to make you feel good.” Lena yawns out, even though her eyelids start drooping from exhaustion. Emma slowly reaches out and softly runs the back of her finger down the bridge of Lena’s nose.

“No sleep.” Lena whines but feels her eyes closing anyway and a tender kiss being placed against her lips. “Lve yu.”

Emma squeezes Lena’s hand three times and watches her girlfriend fall into a deep, peaceful sleep. She stays there for a while, admiring how serene and stunning the raven haired beauty looks.

Slowly Emma rolls over, picks up her notebook and pencil and faces Lena again. She sits up against the headboard so she can sketch Lena, wanting to capture the moment and take in every detail of her love.

Once her task was done Emma places her things on the bedside table.

“Hope, can you turn the lights off please?” Emma signs and carefully slides down the bed to lay back down. Emma closes her eyes and breathes deeply, willing herself to go to sleep.

But in the dark, sinister voices start playing through her mind. Digging up her fears and dread.

Emma blows a frustrated breath through her nose and turns back towards Lena, opening her eyes to focus on the raven haired beauty. Emma’s breathing becomes heavy as she tries to stay calm, but ultimately her stomach clenches and thoughts begin pouring in of what will be happening this time next week. What will the outcome be of the surgery? Will it succeed?

As if sensing Emma’s distress in her sleep, Lena shuffles closer to her girlfriend and latches on. Unknowingly calming Emma down and relieving the ache in her heart. Emma gently kisses Lena’s head, pushing aside her fears and worries before closing her eyes, to fall into a peaceful sleep.

(Part Thirty Four)

[kookdbean]

unbothered

a/n: another addition to so it goes! just little snippets of acts of service between jungkook and oc. this takes place over the first school year together. also, if you guys have any ideas for more drabbles, pls send them in! enjoy! warnings: mentions of food consumption, coffee consumption, hints at students family life.

series masterlist

i.

It's Friday, the end of the second week of school.

The past three days, Jungkook and you have been arriving at the same time. You'd wait for one another, catching up from the day before since you parted. He'd crack a joke about how he wasn't sure what tires him out more, his roommate's stupid shit or waking up early five days in a row.

Today, you're running twenty minutes behind; twenty-five minutes before school started.

Teeth brushed and face washed were your first two priorities this morning. You were able to throw your hair up into a messy updo; not having enough time for the full routine, only patting moisturizer into your skin. It would be enough to make it seem like you put some effort, right?

It's after you've parked, backpack hanging over your shoulder, tote bag hanging low from your hand, that you spot Jungkook's car and freeze.

Did you leave him waiting?

Clocked in, you make your way to drop off your belongings in your room as fast as you can. No one stops you in the hall, a small sigh of relief leaves you. Who knows how long Ms. Lee Ji-Wan, a second grade teacher who literally beams sunshine, would have kept you if she spotted you.

A moment, just a small moment you allow yourself. A moment where you're not rushing yourself, worried about being somewhere, in the comfort and stillness of your classroom. Hand rubbing your nape, head slowly rolling out to the side. Just a moment.

And it's not ruined, not when you hear three soft knocks on your door before sliding open.

Jungkook's head is poking in, his wide eyes searching the room before settling on you. His eyes quickly look you over before he allows himself in, door closing behind him.

"You didn't wait, did you?" is the first thing that comes out of your mouth, your hand moving down to rub your fingers against your collarbone.

"Not long, no," Jungkook reassures you, not staying still.

"Jungkook," you frown, reaching over to your desk for your coffee, that you realize you forgot when your fingers wrap around nothing, balling up into a loose fist.

"Here," Jungkook laughs, moving his hand from behind his back. An iced coffee.

Hands instantly clasping against your chest, big eyes and a hopeful tug of your eyebrows; your facial expression reading, "is that for me?" Jungkook laughs, holding the coffee out to you, shaking it to show you that it's real, and it's for you.

"I got here just before you, actually. I was in the mood for some expensive coffee and figured you'd like one, too," Jungkook explains, that smile never leaving his lips.

ii.

The end of a meeting is always such a relief.

The quiet, exciting buzz that comes with the meeting being called to it's end, almost like an exhale that relieves your body from the weights of the world for just that moment; weightless and carefree.

The chairs being pushed away so teachers could stand, the sound of shuffling paper and occasional crumple, quiet chatter while some people gathered together, others just making their way of the room. Talk of lunch plans, upcoming events (personal and 'professional').

That was feeling is what you look forward to at the start of every meeting.

It's the feeling you relish this moment. Tae-yeon rubs your forearm, telling you she'll see you after the day ends before rushing off to join Jae-eon, physical education teacher. You look after her, standing up, watching as the pair makes their way out of the room.

You turn back towards the center of the room, eyes scanning the room until you spot Jungkook.

Jungkook's not in the spot he deemed as his unassigned assigned seat during meetings, but at the front of the room, talking to the principal. His body language is animated; his papers on the chair closest to him, hands moving regardless of close they are to his body. You could see how his eyes widened and his tone came off as serious, passionate.

You can't help but watch. You can't help but wonder what he was so passionate about, what he was sharing with the principal.

You can't take your eyes away, not until they bow to each other and the principal is turning towards you, to make his way to the exit behind you. Quickly, you duck your head and a quiet wish leaves your lips, "have a good day, sir."

"You waited," Jungkook simply says, your head turning upwards and eyes automatically moving to his face.

"Yeah," you hum.

"You didn't have to," Jungkook reassures with a small smile, folding his small stack of papers in half and tucking it under his arm. He makes his way towards you, hand gesturing towards the door.

"Yeah, but I wanted to. We always go to lunch afterwards," you state.

"Oh," Jungkook falters behind you. He watches you make your way to the door, turning midway when you don't feel his presence.

"You wait for me," you shot back, a teasing look on your face.

"Yeah, because I haven't been sucked into a teacher's clique," Jungkook defends jokingly.

iii.

You're looking over the math worksheets from this morning, red pen in one hand, chopsticks handling japchae in other.

"This is DEAN" playlist on Spotify plays softly from your computer. You hum, in tune to the music and to the taste of the japchae that your roommate, Sana, made last night.

You don't hear the door open, your face down towards the container of noodles. Cheeks full and puffed out, you throw your head back, a quiet moan, eyes closed. God, you loved noodles.

"You okay?" Jungkook laughs, taking you by surprise.

Head lowering to look at him, your eyes are wide and don't bother chewing, just watching as Jungkook gets closer.

"I thought you had lunch plans," you struggled, slowly chewing and swallowing, repeating the process until your mouth becomes empty again.

Jungkook laughs again, reaching over to twist the cap off your bottle of juice open before handing it to you.

"Take it slow."

You wave him off, taking a sip, eyes looking him up and down.

"You didn't met up with your friend... Seokjin?" you ask curiously, hoping you got the name right.

"I did," Jungkook nods and taps his finger against your desk, "but Jin-hyung had something come up."

Your lips pout, brows furrowing, "Sorry. I know you were looking forward to it."

"It's fine, I know where he lives," Jungkook cackles, placing a small container in front of you, "but just as I promised..."

"Is this the cake he made last time?" You gasp hopefully, pulling yourself closer.

There's a glimmer in your eyes, it makes Jungkook laugh quietly, shoulders shaking and nose scrunching up as he nods.

"He gave me some extra after I mentioned that I shared it with a friend from work," Jungkook smiles, popping the lid open.

What you didn't know about Jungkook that his hyung(s) did was that Jungkook only shared food with people he really cared about.

iv.

Since the days Jungkook and you used to just magically show up at the same time to school and wait for each other so that you could enter the building together (neither you or Jungkook know that the other peeked at the time when they realized that arrive at that time, thus the new addition to their daily routines), you've both had the other's phone number.

First, texts were exchanged when one of you decided to go for a coffee run, always asking the other if they wanted something.

Then came the texts to tell the other that you were running late (you showed up ten minutes before the school day started just to find that someone turned on your computer).

Following that were the texts that came in the evening. The "what was the name of the website that you those pens?," "what was the dish you mentioned Namjoon made for dinner?," the "I have roommate cake and coffee tomorrow morning!!!"

You remember the first time Jungkook took a sick day, after the winter break, after you'd deemed yourselves friends and not just coworkers.

You're in the teacher's lounge, lips hovering over your water bottle. You're pretending to pay attention to your phone, thumb scrolling against the screen as if you're on social media, but in reality, you had your conversation with Jungkook opened. Subtly trying to type out everything you were hearing in the teacher's lounge.

"before you call me a child, I just have to say... you chose the wrong day to be absent, mr. jeon."

Jeon Jungkook: what is this? are we fourteen? are you trying to get me to wonder what the day is like without me?

You scoff to yourself, trying to bite back a smile.

Jeon Jungkook: when I woke up again this morning, it was already 10am, and the first thing that popped into my head was that it was two hours into the school day and math is almost over.

A laugh leaves your lips, the noise from the nearby teachers becoming quiet as they looked over at you.

Eventually, your texts ranged throughout the entire day. From the morning texts asking if the other wants coffee, texts swapping recipes in the late afternoon, to just asking about weekend plans and just...talking to one another.

v.

"I'll have you know, Jeon Jungkook, that my Saturdays are sacred," you gushed, waggling your finger jokingly.

Jungkook snorts, pushing the cart past you, leaving you standing there. He throws a quick glance over his shoulder at you, rolling his eyes with a smile on his face.

"No one forced you to tag along," Jungkook points out.

"You're right. But, you also know that I cannot and will not turn down a lunch invitation," you sigh dramatically.

"Ah, so when you see my face, you see a money bag?"

"Didn't you hear? The way to someone's heart is through their stomach," you sigh, hand over your chest, walking closer to where Jungkook's stopped.

Jungkook's looking at things that he can gift the students in the after school art club. You both had already gotten little gifts for your respective classes, but Jungkook had told you that he wanted to give his art kids some supplies so that they'd be encouraged to keep doing art; supplies that parents couldn't afford or in some cases, didn't want to purchase.

"I have three students who go to high school next year," Jungkook murmurs to himself, scratching the back of his neck, "but I don't want the rest of them to think I don't care about them."

"What were you planning on getting for them?" you ask gingerly, hands running over the different sketchbook covers.

"Taehyung was able to get some good quality mixed media sketch books from the art museum. They hold workshops every week and he found some extras," Jungkook turns to look at you, a hint of a soft smile, "so I was thinking a basic watercolor set, some pencils, color pencils?"

"Mmm, maybe leave the water colors for the ones going to high school? Not that you don't trust the younger ones, but water colors seems like some more responsibility," you comment.

Jungkook hums back in acknowledgement, moving to stand next to you. The hairs on the back of your neck stand at his proximity, your heart racing when you catch his scent.

"You added erasers and sharpeners?"

"Pencil set."

"Hmm," your eyes scanning down the aisle. You spot chalk hanging at the end of the aisle, hand reaching out to pat Jungkook's bicep before quickly moving down the aisle. Adjusting your bag onto your shoulder, you dramatically gesture towards the various packs of chalk.

"Not only can they make art in their sketch books, but out in the neighborhood," you try telling it to him like a salesman at a car dealership, "art that can be remade, reworked. Sidewalks, driveways, whatever!"

Jungkook can't fight off the laugh as he doubles over, his laugh echoing around him.

His laugh is contagious, it might be your favorite sound. It has you breaking character, your laugh joining his; a symphony that could bring crowds together, one that people never wanted to stop hearing.

"What? It's not good?" you defend yourself through giggles.

"Did I say something?" Jungkook chuckles, pushing the cart towards you, carefully placing several packs of chalk in.

"Did I win myself some dessert?" you turn away to peek at the other aisles.

"That already came included with the lunch offer. You, my friend, have won yourself something even better."

You realize Jungkook's movement until you hear his voice right in your ear.

"You get to pick one thing from the store and I'll buy it for you."

You shiver, stepping away from him, overwhelmed. You try to brush off the way the back your neck heats up, your heart beats a little faster, your hands get a little clammy. Just a moment to compose yourself, yet, a moment becomes too long when the hairs on the back of your neck fall back down and his scent is no longer surrounding you.

You look up with wide eyes, watching Jungkook make his way into the aisle that had "acrylic and oil points" written at the top.

"Wait!" You call out, trying to catch up to him, "you can't judge what I pick!"

tagging: @yslkook

[misha-moose-dean-burger-lover]

for @bend-me-shape-me's spn advent calendar 2020. prompt: carols.

dedicated to @one-more-offbeat-anthem!! happy birthday <3

After Chuck's defeated, and Billie's gone, and the Empty has been bargained with (semantics, any of the Winchesters would say if you asked one of the four to elaborate) into returning Cas in exchange for eternal sleep, there's peace.

After they're done, and really done, there's time.

A moment to breathe, a minute to look at the clouds, and hours stretching endless, days on end, resonating with something resembling quiet.

And then, there's a guitar.

*

"Nope." Dean declares. "Never seen that thing in here before. And I once did Christmas inventory by myself, so I should know."

Sam snickers at Dean's cavalier tone. He'd been content to examine the instrument from a distance, unlike his brother, but that didn't mean he wasn't paying attention. "You had to do it yourself, Dean. Those were the exact words of the bet."

"I was drunk, and you hustled me!"

"You've known I play poker my entire life!"

"Well, yeah." Dean flashes his best shit-eating grin. "But you've sucked, your entire life, so —"

"— sure I have —"

"— your entire life has really just been a very long, very lame hustle!" Dean spreads his arms in a display of triumph. "And ergo, you hustled me into Christmas inventory-ing. The case is rested, your honor."

"That's not how you say —"

"Sam. Dean." Cas interjects, loud and exasperated. Sam shuts up immediately, eyes falling to his lap, while Dean exchanges a sheepish look with Cas (and Jack, who to his credit, seemed to be unaffected by the mini-feud. But that's less the part about him being God-Lite and more about him being himself. A kid who grew up watching his dads bicker endlessly and mostly, uneventfully, and has come to terms with it as a primary aspect of (at least, his) family.)

Cas, as usual, puts up with less of their crap. "Is this really necessary right now?"

Dean loves him for it, except when it's targeted at Dean and since that's kind of a lot, he isn't sure he loves it, or just loves Cas and generalises the things he does under the wider bracket of Cas.

"And if it's not," Cas goes on, using what is probably his I-led-garrisons-in-heaven voice, which automatically sends a shiver up Dean's spine. "Can we agree the guitar is, somehow, a recent addition and leave it at that?"

Sam nods slightly, apologetic. Dean just rolls his eyes, but it's a yes. (Everyone there knows it's a yes.)

"It's not cursed." Jack cuts in brightly. "Or out of the ordinary at all."

"So," Dean blinks. "We just happen to have an awesome new guitar show up, completely randomly, in this top secret Bunker no one know about, minus any ulterior motives or death curses?"

Jack grins. "Yes."

"Cool." Dean says immediately, and Sam huffs an amused laugh. He thinks he sees Cas smile as well, and a smirk grows on his face.

"Dibs."

*

Unsurprisingly, nobody counters his dibs, and Dean ends up taking the guitar to his room.

It's after a few days of insecurity, leading right into embarrassment, leading further to ignoring its existence, and further still to a mostly depressive array of memories — before it circles back to insecurity, and is about to repeat all over again, when he stops himself in his proverbial spiral, and decides to just friggin' do it.

That night, he picks up the pick.

Fiddles with it in his hands for a minute, and proceeds to abandon the idea again, because it does not feel right. Different shape, different weight.

And Dean Winchester's already enough of a misfit for this project, for his guitar pick to be a poor goddamn fit in his hand too.

But there's something about being so close that stirs up motivation in his heart, similar to the first day they found the damn thing, and next morning, he's out looking for a music shop in town.

That night, he finally plays.

It's uncertain — experimental — and he soon realizes why nobody ever says a damn thing about guitars when they say you never forget how to ride a bike.

But then, slowly, and really slowly at that, music seems to return to his fingers.

It isn't smooth by any chance, or even really accurate, but there's a faint tug in his brain that leads him to the next chord, and a twitch in his wrist that tells him when to strum, and he's awful, he's really friggin' awful, but even repeatedly saying so in his head refuses to dampen the overwhelming feeling that lights him up from the inside to start to feel like maybe he can play again. There's hope, and there's terrible, off-timed, broken music, and there's Dean in the middle of it, and maybe he can actually do this.

Recollection of how to play had come to his hands as they trembled, and tried, but the exhilaration of it, and the joy, only come back to his heart once he'd stopped, heart racing, adrenaline high, and unexplainable tears pricking his eyes.

Dean Winchester goes to bed that night, giddy in a way he hasn't been in years.

And outside his bedroom, his family of three exchange confused glances when the playing stopped abruptly, and then smiles when a sound that can only be said to bear semblance to a squeal, follows the silence.

(The first song Dean had played in over twenty five years had been Joy to the World.

It had also been the first song he'd ever learned — Cassie's choice, not his. Sam, Cas and Jack didn't know any of that. To them, it had just been a christmas carol. But there was also something so moving about that, soft in a way each of them knew Dean would fight against being, that they didn't realize they hadn't budged from Dean's door, long until faint snores replaced the quiet, and they left for their own beds, wordlessly already having decided on a plan for the next day.)

*

Cas knocks first on Dean's bedroom door, and all music immediately ceases. There's a yell from inside after ten seconds of a shuffling kind of silence.

"Yeah?"

"May I come in?" Cas asks.

Another pause.

Cas wonders worriedly if Sam and Jack were mistaken when they said that Cas had to be first, that he was their best shot at getting Dean to open up — the easiest past Dean's line of defense.

Then Dean says, a little quieter. "Yeah, sure."

Cas enters, gently closing the door behind himself before his eyes land on Dean — and he fights the urge to smile, because Dean hasn't kept away the guitar or anything. It's still on his lap, not in playing stance, with his arms folded over it — but he's not trying to hide it from Cas.

"Is everything okay?" Dean interrupts his reverie. Cas nods.

Neither of them say anything for a minute.

"Can I listen?"

Cas surprises himself with his own courage to ask — no twisted words or excuses to stay, just a simple question. Things were so rarely simple for them, but this wasn't a common occurrence either so it evened out.

"Y-yeah." Dean mutters.

Cas lights up.

"I suck, by the way." Dean adds, almost immediately. "But I'll suck less with time, I'm hoping. I mean, I'm supposed to, you know, but I — uh, I mean — maybe I —"

Cas realizes that he hadn't stopped smiling at Dean and that's what had made Dean falter, and he looks away, embarrassed.

"I'll just play, I guess." Dean manages smally, sounding as embarrassed as him.

"Please."

Dean clears his throat instead of playing.

"Yeah."

Cas can tell he's nervous. Even if he weren't good at, and very used to reading Dean, he could've gauged as much. And he wishes he had the right words, he really does, but he's aware a sincere speech of how much it means that Dean let him stay, and listen, would have the opposite effect of calming.

Then there's another knock on the door, and Cas relaxes.

"Dean?"

Sure enough, it's Jack.

Sam had explained how Dean was most likely, unfortunately, to deflect if he was there — "his denial fires up, Cas. I associate it with a parenting complex of some kind, and he just won't let go of it." — so the order had been decided as Cas, Jack and Sam. No overwhelming by arriving all three at once, or one after the other as if it were planned. No, they'd enter after some time, giving the previous person time to make Dean comfortable to them before the next enters.

Cas thinks it's a rather brilliant plan, and wonders if he should ask Sam to formulate a similar one to get Dean to open up about other things too. He doesn't, ultimately.

"Yeah?" Dean yells back.

"Have you seen Cas?"

That had been the plan.

"Yeah," Dean raises his voice to answer. "He, uh. He's right here. Come on in."

And Jack does, and eyes Cas with probably too much meaning (he means triumph) for Dean to not have noticed, before turning to the latter. "Oh. Were you about to play for Cas?"

Dean colors at that, his ears reddening almost instantly, and Cas files it away for pondering later.

"Can I be here too?"

And Dean's eyes widen a little — sign of anxiety, maybe understanding — and he licks his lips and then he nods. "I guess. I mean, okay, fine. But didn't you need Cas for something?" He adds, confused.

"I," Jack hesitates. Oh no, Cas thinks. Sam's prepared him for this, but Jack looks like he's about to, as Dean would say, wing it. And all-powerful or not, he knows his son is a terrible liar. "No, I just wanted to know if you'd seen him."

Dean narrows his eyes.

"Now I do know. That, uh, you've seen him." Jack braves on, determined to reach the bottom of the proverbial hole he'd dug for himself apparently. "So now, I don't need to know anything. Now I can stay."

Dean sighs.

"I can, right?"

There's a lightness in Dean's voice instead of tension when he says, "Yeah."

"Thank you." Jack says brightly, and all Cas can do is shake his head when Jack turns to him for feedback, and the both of them proceed to wear (nearly matching, but not on purpose) excited stares as they focus on Dean.

*

The final straw is when there's a third knock on the door, and Sam pokes his head in. One unconvincing "Where's everyone at?" later, he's joined Cas and Jack in staring with a unnecessary (and hopefully unintended) comfort-the-vic's-family smile at Dean.

God, he loves these dumbasses and would give his life for everyone present in the room, but none of them can act for shit.

It's glaringly obvious they've all respectively shown up to listen to him play.

Which is bullshit in itself, because Dean wasn't being modest when he told Cas he sucks — he does suck. But then, he doesn't think any of them would mind. Sam would probably unlock new levels of the puppy eyes if he knew how happy even playing awfully, made Dean. Jack would be blunt, of course, but undeterringly sweet. And Cas? He'd probably smile at him all the way through, just — that smile of his, that always seems to make time freeze and Dean's heart stutter.

So Dean decides magnanimously to not call them out.

Right away, anyway.

Instead, he turns to them with a question. "Any requests?"

(He can't play one of the only songs he remembers having learned without errors yet, so obviously asking for requests is the right way to go. But you see, once you've given up on impressing, it's only fair to see yourself to the end of the chaos.)

"Christmas carols." Jack answers before anyone else.

"It's May."

"Sam's," Jack swallows. Dean should really get on teaching the kid how to lie. "Sam's making me listen to carols."

"In May?" He asks his brother this time.

Sam shrugs, struggling to keep a diplomatic face.

"You're going to grow up to be the young adult who doesn't take off the Christmas lights in January." Dean informs Jack, who absorbs his words with all the seriousness Dean should have expected. "And, fine. We can do carols."

Cas speaks up. "Any carol you'd like, Dean."

"Nah," Dean shakes his head. "Jack requested it. We'll do what he says." And he insists to his conscience that he said so because he wants to make Jack happy, and not because he's well aware the kid isn't being subjected to carols by Sam in friggin' May, and probably doesn't know any.

"Oh." Jack's face falls. He looks at Sam in the most conspicuous way anyone's ever looked at anyone. "I —"

"Uhhuh?"

"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer!" Cas blurts, on behalf of Jack, and there's a two second gap where Sam facepalms and Jack exchanges a conspirational glance with Cas, and then Dean's throwing his head back and laughing.

And soon, Sam's joining in with an exasperated kind of chuckling as if he's gotten stuck in the wrong team but he doesn't regret a thing, and then Cas starts too, mostly from looking at Dean losing his shit (Dean strictly ignores thinking about that part and focuses on imprinting Cas's laugh to memory) and probably also because the ridiculosity of the entire situation probably struck him, and of course Jack's smiling at all of them, and it's, altogether, everything Dean could ever have wished for.

The evening ends with Dean playing Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer (of course) for at least an hour while consistently getting better at the repeating music, and although it's him humming under his breath (like he always has while playing) that starts it off, soon all of them are offering their own awful renditions to the chaos. Cas is off-key, Sam somehow manages to screw up the lyrics, and Jack is as flat as a friggin' plateau.

And it all comes together in a wholly unmelodious kind of awesome — to Dean the same way they say a mother's love comes through for an ugly child.

After Rudolph, it's Silent Night (another song Dean's learned, it hits him, once he's trying to find the right chord) and even Cas manages to look disappointed at the lyrics Sam and he come up with to make up for not knowing the real ones, and since Jack's never heard this one, he simply listens in rapt attention leaving Dean wondering if he probably ended up learning the wrong version on account of all his concentration.

And last of all, it's We Wish You A Merry Christmas, and Dean plays the chorus enough times that he's perfect at it, because for once, no one messes up the beat or the lyrics, and everyone has the most fun.

All in all, it's an evening to remember.

What Dean learns through it all is primarily the lesson that letting your family think they tricked you into having an audience is sometimes an excellent choice to make, and that things can be crap, but still be enjoyed. That doesn't mean he's not going to practice his ass off learning to play at least the choruses of the Led Zepp tracks he gifted Cas (the idea came to him in bed last night, and Cas has always sounded like he enjoyed them, okay?) so he can play them 'for Cas' as the kid so casually put — but then, some things are different from other things, just the way some love's different too.

And while some things are about efforts, and saying the words that scare you, others are about letting go, and singing carols in bright and sunny May.

The only thing Dean's sure about is that just about all of it comes down to being free.

[flippin-fins]

Take this sinking boat and point it home

Summary: Post-Hawkmoth defeat, Marinette picks up the pieces of Adrien to make sure he knows what it's like to have a real family

Read on AO3

“Do you think he has a family?”

Chat’s words scattered her thoughts, and it took Ladybug a minute to remember where she was. They had just finished patrol, but recently had begun delaying their departures, spending more time on rooftops, enjoying each other’s company.

She turned her head to look at her partner. “Who?”

“Hawkmoth. Do you think he has a family?”

“I mean, I guess. Doesn’t everyone?”

“Do you think they know? Know he’s doing this? There has to be some kind of reason, right? Some motivation for all of this?” With one hand, Chat motioned to the city around them.

“Maybe they are his motivation, maybe he’s motivated by love.”

“Do you think they love him?”

“Chat, everyone has someone that loves them.”

Chat stilled at her words, and Ladybug held back the question on the tip of her tongue. ‘Don’t you?’

“Yeah, I guess so.” His words came out stilted, stiff, and Ladybug wished she could take her words back.

She never knew what to make of him when he responded like that. It always felt like those reactions came out of nowhere, an invisible minefield she had no right to ask about.

“I don’t think they would know,” Ladybug whispered. “Maybe he thinks what he’s doing is right, but I have to believe if he has other people in his life, they would try to convince him to stop.”

“Sure, maybe.” Chat was still looking out over the city, but his eyes were slightly unfocused, and she knew his mind was still elsewhere. “Why does he even want our miraculous?”

He finally turned to look at her, and Ladybug tried to contain her surprise. He didn’t know?

After a moment, she realized he really didn’t know. “The wish. If you combine the black cat miraculous,” she motioned to his hand, “and the ladybug miraculous,” and motioned to her ears, “you can make a wish. There’s some sort of major consequence though, but I guess he either doesn’t know or doesn’t care.”

“A wish,” Chat echoed, turning back to look at the lights of the city. “What would you wish for?”

“There’s so many consequences, Chat, I wouldn’t want to wish for anything.”

“But if you could?” There was something in her voice, something that tugged at her.

“If there were no consequences, if I could have a wish, I dunno. I guess I’d wish to not have the weight of the city on us at 14. I think I’d wish for more time to just be a teenager.” Ladybug shrugged. “What about you, Chat? What would you wish for?”

He stays silent, still looking out into the night.

She wants to reach out, to know where his mind is, but maybe he didn’t hear her. Or maybe he’s thinking of the best pun to fit with his wish.

So she sits, and waits.

She almost forgot her question by the time he finally speaks, barely audible over the sounds of the city.

“I think I’d wish for my mom. Wish my family was whole again.”

His words haunt her that night, when sleep can’t come. His wish, and his earlier reaction.

But it was fine, probably just a bad night.

~~~

“I guess he did have a family.”

Ladybug turned to her partner, wide-eyed. She thought back to that evening on the roof a few years ago, when Hawkmoth’s identity was just an idea, not an actual person who was currently being loaded into the back of a police car.

They had retreated to a nearby roof, not ready to face reporters and their questions.

Chat didn’t deserve that. He deserved a moment of peace, of being able to step away from the situation and hopefully take a deep breath.

Last night wasn’t how she’d wanted to find out her partner’s identity, but at the realization of who Hawkmoth was, he had insisted. He’d been right, after all. Finding out who he was while facing off with their biggest enemy would have thrown Ladybug off, easily causing them to be defeated. Snatching the element of surprise from Hawkmoth had been important.

All she wanted to do now was drag him to her home, wrapping him in blankets and making sure he had all the pastries and hot chocolate he wanted, and snuggle in with him as he worked through everything that had happened that evening.

But the police had asked them to stay.

She’d negotiated with them, forcing the police to allow the duo to leave the immediate scene, offering to stay in the nearby area, visible in case they were needed. But there was no way she was letting Chat Noir stay there, no way she was letting Gabriel Agreste glare at his son, running his mouth and traumatizing him further.

Ladybug had expected him to beg for forgiveness, beg for freedom. The vitriol he spit was worse, and Chat’s statue impersonation at her side made her want to flinch at almost everything he said.

She’d never been more thankful to have her parents.

Ladybug had considered destranforming and calling her parents, asking them to pick her and Chat up. She probably should give them a heads up before bringing him home, but Ladybug had a feeling her parents wouldn’t mind. He’d always been told he could have a home there, and she could already picture her parents bringing extra pillows and blankets to her room, expecting someone would be taking in the model.

She should probably call them anyway, just to let them know she was okay.

Chat rested his head on her shoulder, and Ladybug’s hand came up automatically to run her fingers through his hair.

“He doesn’t have to be your family.”

Chat snorted, not moving to look at her. “It seems like it would be pretty difficult for Adrien Agreste to separate from the Gabriel Agreste legacy.”

“Sure, but you can make your own family. Nino and Alya and me,” Ladybug tried to contain her blush, or at least minimize her hesitation. “Even my parents would be happy to give you the family you should have had. They all love you.”

“Do you love me?”

Ladybug sucked in a breath. In all the madness or the evening, she had forgotten her school crush was also the partner she’d started to fall for. Forgotten she hadn’t told him who the other boy had been.

“Come home with me.” She reached out for his hand, squeezing it.

He finally sat up, turning to look at her. The hint of a smile ghosted his features, and it took everything in her to not wrap him in a hug and carry him off the roof.

“You know I’ll follow you anywhere.”

Letting go of his hand, she flicked his bell. “Then come on, let’s make sure this stray kitty finds a home.”

~~~

Clutching the coffee mug in her hands, Marinette’s eyes were glued to the television.

Images of last night flashed on the screen in front of her, and a video of Gabriel Agreste being loaded back into a police car stayed in the corner on repeat.

She kept an ear on the trapdoor to her room, hoping Adrien would stay asleep. She had taken his phone from him, hiding it so he couldn’t check the internet for mentions of him or his father. Marinette had been hoping to keep him calm, to make sure he knew he was safe, but it hadn’t mattered. He’d been up all night with grief stricken eyes and she’d been there, holding him while he broke into pieces in front of her. He’d finally fallen asleep as the sun started to rise, so with a slight motion to the kwamis, Marinette had slipped out of the room.

Tikki had offered to join her, but Marinette knew she had missed Nooroo and Duusu and waved her off. Tikki and Plagg could come find her if Adrien woke up, if he needed her.

Marinette’s phone buzzed and she barely glanced down before answering.

“You were there.”

Alya’s voice wasn’t questioning, but instead accusatory.

Marinette nodded as she spoke, as if Alya could see her. “Ladybug was there.”

“No one knows where Adrien is. Nino can’t get a hold of him, and you didn’t call Rena or Carapace last night so he’s even more stressed. The news says that Ladybug and Chat Noir took off when no one was paying attention, not answering any questions. You were there and couldn’t be bothered to reach out, to let me know you were okay.”

“We had other things on our mind.”

“Marinette, please,” Alya’s voice, her begging, snapped Marinette out of her transe.

Guilt radiated through her, and Marinette realized she should have called them. The two of them deserved to at least know she and Adrien were okay.

“Are you with him?”

Marinette chewed her nail for a moment. “Are you with Nino?”

“Of course I’m with Nino. We’ve been trying to contact both of you, and it’s easier if we can turn to the other and share whether or not we’ve gotten a hold of either of you.”

“How soon can you both come over?”

Marinette flinched as she heard Alya snap. “Nino, let’s go. We need to get to Marientte’s.”

A muffled voice responded. The only word Marinette caught was ‘Adrien’. She really should have called them last night.

“Alya, you really don’t have to drop everything. I just figured it would be easier to explain in person.”

“It’s too late, we’re already on our way. We’ll be there soon.”

The line clicked before Marinette could respond.

“Marinette?”

Marinette turned to the small voice that called her name.

Tikki floated in the air in front of her.

“Is he awake?” Her eyes flicked to the stairs and she took a step towards her room.

“No no, I just wanted to check on you. Last night was a lot. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Marinette shrugged. “Alya and Nino are on their way, so they can fill in with any extra support for Adrien.”

“But Marinette, I asked how you are doing.”

Marinette opened her mouth to respond, but a black blur cut her off.

“Sugarcube, can you keep an eye on the kitten for a minute? I need a word with your girl.”

Marinette stifled a laugh at Tikki’s face, but she turned and floated upstairs without a retort.

“I’m sorry, Plagg, I don’t have any Camembert. Would Brie be okay for you? At least until I get to a store?”

“We both know that’s not why I’m here.”

Marinette sighed, walking over to the kitchen sink to wash out her mug.

She couldn’t look at him as she spoke. “Do you think he’ll be alright? I should have seen this, should have done more.”

“How would you have seen this? You think I’m not upset? He was stuck in that house! Nooroo and Duusu were right under my nose this whole time!”

Marinette turned around, leaning her hip against the counter. She didn’t know what to say, how to talk to him without wanting to cry about how bad Adrien’s situation had been, about how she hadn’t even noticed.

“Alya and Nino are coming over, so you might have to make yourself scarce for a bit.”

“Am I not good enough to be around your friends?”

She glared at him for a moment. “Well Alya already knows about Tikki, but unless you want to reveal Chat Noir’s identity without his knowledge, maybe we should wait until he’s awake before you harass our friends.”

Plagg huffed at her.

Marinette lifted her hand to her face, barely stopping herself from biting her nails.

“I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to make it okay.”

“Pigtails, you just have to be there. I don’t think he needs anything else right now. Just friends.”

“Just a friend,” Marinette mumbled.

Plagg opened his mouth, but a knock on the door stopped him.

Marinette started to walk towards the door. “Have Tikki let me know if he wakes up.”

“You don’t want him to see his friends?”

Marinette paused, her hand on the doorknob. “I don’t want to wake him and bring him back to all the pain he felt before he fell asleep.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a black blur go through her trapdoor.

Marinette tried to smooth her hair and plant a smile on her face as she opened the door.

Nino’s concerned eyes search her face as Alya launches herself at Marinette.

“I was so scared and you didn’t text me back and my parents wouldn’t let me go out so I couldn’t be there as a reporter or a friend and I had to watch the news but Ladybug and Chat Noir didn’t do any interviews and I was worried you were injured and something had happened and -”

“Would either of you like some tea?”

Marinette wished she wasn’t being smothered by Alya so she could see the reaction Nino had to accompany the noise of alarm he made.

“Nino, meet Tikki. She’s Ladybug’s Kwami.”

Of course Alya would take over introductions.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Nino. Hi, Alya. It’s lovely to see you again.”

Marinette felt one of Alya’s arms let go of her, presumably reaching out to wave at Tikki, or possibly pat the top of her head.

“Marinette, why did you have Ladybug’s Kwami? Did you steal it?”

At Nino’s words, Alya let go of Marinette to turn stare at her boyfriend.

Marinette snagged the opportunity to escape to the kitchen and turn on the kettle.

After a tense few moments, Alya spoke up. “Marinette, will you or should I?”

She tried to hold in a sigh, reaching over to grab a cookie for Tikki. “Go ahead.”

Nino glanced between the two girls, settling on Alya. She waved a hand between Nino and Marinette. “Nino, meet Ladybug. She’s much shorter in person.”

If she’d actually gotten any sleep last night, Marinette would have laughed at the way Nino’s jaw dropped as he rapidly looked between Marinette, Tikki, and Alya. Instead, she settled for a smile.

“No. No way.”

Marinette brushed some hair behind her ear, revealing her earrings. “Hey, Carapace. Nice to see you.”

“Ha ha, very funny. What’s actually happening?”

Marinette waited, letting it sink in. He stared at her earrings, then her hair, and Marinette could see him picturing her with the signature pigtails. It was clear the moment it clicked.

“Ladybug is my friend from school, the best friend to my girlfriend, and she sat behind me in class for years.”

“Yep, yes, and correct.”

Nino rubbed a hand over his face. “But we were 13 when Ladybug and Chat Noir first appeared.”

“Also true.”

The kettle whistled behind her, and Marinette turned to grab three mugs, pausing over a fourth. “Tikki?”

“Still sleeping.”

Focusing on her task, Marinette stopped her mind from wandering to the blond upstairs. She wanted to go up and check on him, but with Plagg and the other Kwamis upstairs, he was safe.

Handing Alya and Nino their mugs, Marientte grabbed hers and sat at the table. She motioned for her friends to sit with her, but Alya had already grabbed Nino and was on her way over. Nino still looked a little shell-shocked, but Alya had her reporter face on.

“Marinette, who is sleeping upstairs?”

“If they wake up and decide to come down, they can tell you themself.”

Alya frowned at her friend, but was ready to move on to the next question. Before she could speak up, Nino looked up from his tea.

“Do you know who Chat Noir is?”

Marinette choked on her drink.

“Of course not, don’t be silly. Right, Marinette?”

She avoided Alya’s eyes. “Actually, yes. He told me a couple of days ago. But I can’t tell you who he is. I’m only telling you who I am because I trust you, because Alya already knew.”

“Oh.” Nino looked back down at his drink. His eyes narrowed for a moment, and Marinette realized the television was still on, still reporting from the scene of the Agreste mansion. “Where is Adrien? He wasn’t involved, was he? Was he hurt?”

Marinette set her drink down. “He’s safe. I checked on him before I left. He had no idea about his father.”

“Of course he didn’t know. I just hope he isn’t being harassed. Has he reached out to you?” Alya reached out to grab Marinette’s wrist. “Was he okay last night? Should we have gone over?”

“I don’t think he wanted any of us to go there. I’m sure he’ll reach out when he’s ready.”

A crash sounded from upstairs and all of them jumped. Marinette and Tikki locked eyes, and Tikki passed through the ceiling as Marinette ran over to the trap door to her room. “I’ll be right back.”

She reached one hand out to open the door, but paused on the last step. “It’s me. I’m coming in, okay?”

She heard a muffled noise, and slowly opened the door just wide enough to squeeze inside, closing it behind her. The pile of blankets was a new addition to the middle of the floor.

Plagg was floating above the pile, pulling at the top of it.

“Adrien? Are you okay?”

The response was muffled, confirming her suspicions. Marinette padded over to the blankets.

“Did you roll off the bed and over the railing?”

The muffling came again.

Marinette looked at Plagg for a translation.

“He decided he wanted to come down the stairs, but was too cold to go without the blankets. Instead of throwing down a layer before moving, you know, like a normal person, he decided to take the stairs while still wrapped up. You can see how well that worked out for him.”

She stifled a giggle. Something told her that Adrien wouldn’t appreciate it.

Finding an edge, Marinette gently pulled on a blanket, revealing messy blond hair. A short moment later, green eyes followed.

She tried to ignore how red and puffy they were.

“Alya and Nino are here. They know I’m here and that I’m Ladybug, but they don’t know who is upstairs. They asked about you, but you don’t have to see them if you don’t want to.” She reached out, brushing some hair out of his face.

Adrien blinked slowly at her statements, and Marinette realized she probably should have slowly introduced any of those topics, instead of dropping them all at once.

He started moving his head around, and Marinette realized what Adrien was trying to do. She adjusted the blankets around his face, revealing his mouth.

“Which part of that do you want me to go over first?”

She busys herself with unwrapping him as Adrien decides.

“All of it?”

“You knew Alya knew my identity, and when she saw the news last night, she freaked out that I didn’t text her back. Her and Nino were together trying to get a hold of you and I, and between the news footage and hearing nothing from either of us, I think they freaked out. I invited them over, and,” Marinette grabbed Adrien’s shoulder, making sure he understood. “You are under no obligation to even see them, and I told them you would reach out when you were ready. Thanks to this,” Marinette motioned to the blankets on the floor, “and a misplaced comment by Tikki, they know someone is up here and was sleeping, but I did not tell them who. I didn’t want to say Adrien was here and have Chat Noir show up, or vice versa. As for my identity, Tikki was a little too excited to see Alya and I think she forgot about Nino’s lack of knowledge.”

“I am sorry about that, Marinette,” Tikki floated over.

“I figured he was going to know at some point. He is Carapace.”

Adrien watched them interact, Plagg floating closer to him but not quite settling on his shoulder.

Marinette turned back to her partner. “I told them Adrien was okay, well, okay enough, and that I knew Chat Noir’s identity and was in contact with him. They just wanted to check on you.” She reached out to hold his hand. “I’ll support whatever you want to do.”

“How do you trust me, after everything with-” he stopped, and Marinette squeezed his hand.

“You and me against the world, remember?”

He smiled. “Then let’s go downstairs.”

“Just you and me?” Marinette can’t help her grin.

“I think it might be time for Plagg to finally meet our friends, right?”

She really didn’t mean to knock him over. After all, she was certainly still sore from yesterday, so he probably was too. But his smile was so infectious, his happy, sunshine self so near to the surface, that Marinette couldn’t help but tackle him into a hug.

They froze at a knock on the trapdoor. “Marinette? Are you alright?”

Leave it to the reporter to check in on them.

Standing up, Marinette offered a hand to Adrien, leading him to the door. “Ready?”

“After you, Bug.”

Marinette felt herself blush, but pushed forward.

Maybe she should have offered Alya some warning, as the door opening spooked the reporter enough to stumble back down the stairs.

“Sorry, I just figured we’d come down here instead of having you come up.”

“We?” The hope in Nino’s voice made Marinette want to giggle, but nothing could prepare her for the expression on his face as her companion joined her on the stairs.

“Yeah, ‘we’. Maybe napping the day away isn’t the best choice.”

Alya’s yank on Marinette’s arm was the only reason Nino didn’t knock her over in his haste to hug his friend.

“You’ve been here the whole time? And you,” Nino turned to Marientte for a moment. “You didn’t bother to say a word?”

“I told you he was safe, that he would reach out when he could. It wasn’t my place to speak for him.”

Marinette saw in Alya’s eyes that she was connecting the dots, putting together everything that had been said. She’d always been good at puzzles.

“You’re him.”

Adrien’s head snapped towards the girls, but he forced the smile to stay light on his face. “Of course I’m him. It’s me, Adrien. Did you already forget? Don’t tell me my modeling good looks have given you amnesia.”

Alya looked at Marinette for the answer, but she couldn’t meet her friend’s gaze.

“If it was just Adrien upstairs, you wouldn’t have stopped us from going upstairs.”

“I never stopped you from going upstairs I-”

“You would have told us when we kept asking about him, You would have encouraged Nino to go see him. There was a reason you were vague about who was upstairs. If Tikki hadn’t said anything, would you have even told us?”

“Alya, I -”

“Unless you were worried about what we would find. Or who we might find.” Alya squinted her eyes. “You know his identity and you haven’t stuttered once talking around Adrien.”

“Alya it’s not -”

Alya spun around to look at Adrien. “Tell me, sunshine. Why would Marinette be afraid of what we would find if we went upstairs?”

“Oh she was probably worried about you finding me!”

Marinette and Tikki sighed as Adrien tried to snag Plagg, to hide him, even if it was too late. Nino looked ready to pass out.

Only Alya was smiling. “I was hoping for something more scandalous, but this is fine too. It’s nice to meet you. I take it you’re Chat Noir’s Kwami.”

“Chat Noir’s Kwami?”

Plagg turned around. “Is he always this slow, or is today a special occasion?”

Trying to channel her best Guardian voice, Marinette held back another sigh. “Plagg, don’t be rude. It’s understandable to be overwhelmed by learning the identities of Paris’s two main superheroes, especially when they are your friends from school.”

“But does he have to look so dumbstruck?”

“Plagg!”

Adrien rubbed the back of his neck as he looked between Alya and Nino. “Surprise?”

Nino was still wide-eyed, taking everything in, but Alya stepped forward.

Adrien stilled as Alya approached. She looked back at Marinette for a moment. “You should have called us. Rena and Carapace or Alya and Nino. I get you two are a team and self-sacrifice and do it yourself, but we were worried sick.” She pulled Adrien into a hug. “You owe us that much.”

“Alya,” Marinette warned, stepping forward and ready to drag her friend away or bring everyone down the rest of the stairs.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll take my hands off of your man.”

Marinette blushed, but before she could respond Alya was pulling her down the stairs towards the kitchen, Adrien and Nino following.

She didn’t know how it happened, but when there was suddenly pressure in her free hand, Marinette grabbed onto it like a lifeline. They’d come too far, been separated for too long. She understood he needed it as much as she did.

The four friends sat down on Marinette’s couch, as she was thankful her parents had chosen to open the bakery today, even with the craziness on the news.

Marinette didn’t realize she had tucked herself into Adrien’s side until she saw the look on her face. She moved to untangle herself, willing the reporter to put off those questions until Marientte could figure out the answers for herself, but the arm around her tightened and Marinette knew she wasn’t going anywhere.

Tikki and Plagg landed in their lap, sharing a cookie.

“Are we not going to acknowledge this?” Alya motioned between the two of them, snapping Nino’s focus from the two kwami to the duo.

“Your crush on Ladybug makes more sense.”

Marinette felt her eyes widen as Alya whipped her head towards Nino.

“You knew he had a crush on Ladybug?”

“I mean,” Nino motioned towards Marinette and Adrien, “doesn’t everyone know how Chat Noir feels about Ladybug?”

Marinette tried to turn to look at Adrien’s face, but his hold on her side kept her in place. She was pretty sure his face was pinker than usual.

“I just thought he was a big fan. How was I supposed to know he was her partner?” Nino rubbed his hand down his face. “How was I supposed to know both of my friends were out there fighting against Hawkmoth?”

Adrien’s grip slackened as he stiffened, and Marinette rubbed her hand on his arm. “You couldn’t have known. No one expected you to know. This wasn’t your fault.”

She could feel the couple’s eyes on her, but Marinette focused on the blond. “Adrien, look at me.” She reached out to pull his face, not waiting for him to move. His eyes were distant, and Marinette saw Plagg float to rest in his hair. “None of us blame you. No one should blame you.”

Whispering from the other side of the couch momentarily drew her focus. “Who would have thought that the top two people on my hit list would turn out to be the same person?”

Adrien’s watery eyes finally found her, and Marinette had to resist the urge to drag him back upstairs, to bury him in blankets and kwami hugs.

“He’s my dad,” Adrien whispered.

There was a flutter of motion, and then Alya and Nino were hugging Nino.

“He was your father. I’ll be your dad now.”

Marinette wasn’t sure if the wet laugh was from her or Alya.

“I think once my parents realize who I’ve been keeping upstairs, my dad will fight you for that title, Nino.”

Adrien’s soft crying settled across the room, and the three friends tightened their grip on him.

After a moment, Marientte leaned back to look at him.

“We’re your family, Adrien. We’ll always be your family.”

His eyes were red and puffy, but instead of the empty expression she expected to see, there was something else. Love.

How had she ever looked at Adrien and not seen her partner? How could she have looked at Chat Noir, turned down any of his flirtations? They were one and the same, someone she wanted by her side forever.

Marinette smiled at him, hoping she conveyed every thought running through her head. She leaned forward, burrowing her head into his shoulder.

Maybe tomorrow, or the next day, he would have to face the press, would have to go back to the mansion and release some kind of statement. But today, today he was here in her arms, and she knew that the best place for her to be was by his side, as long as he’d let her.

Partners, friends, family. Whatever he needed, she’d be there.