#house hates leaving her for someone else to take care of especially when she's still so small

[marc--chilton]

(mgv) the first few heats after giselle's birth leave house consumed with parental devotion. he is protective to an insane degree and if she isn't gone to stay with someone before his heat really kicks in, any and all energy that would have gone into sex instead goes to being feral over the baby. example:

house and their pup are curled up in a nest he has carefully constructed for Maximum Comfort + Hide, practically wrapped around her as they nap. wilson left earlier to go grab a snack house had asked for and got sidetracked while at the store (keeps finding stuff they may want/need/might like and it becomes a Whole Thing) so he ended up being gone for long enough that house dozed off. when he comes back and house hears the sound of the front door unlocking, his eyes shoot open and he's instantly growling -- he's not even really awake, just running on pure instinct while his brain struggles to catch up. it's enough that when wilson walks in and hears it he stops on reflex -- an omega, in heat, nesting, with a pup, growling? alpha weakness. shakes them to their blood even when it's their omega because when instincts run high like that. even those in bonded pairs will tread carefully because the omega will Not Hesitate. it's not until wilson hesitantly calls out to him that house shakes himself out of it ("rrrrmrrgghhrrr--" " 😰 house?" "--rrrmpp?"). then when wilson walks in with the snack and whatever other little tokens he found he plays it extra safe as an apology for being gone for so long; keeping his head bowed, placating notes in the scent he puts out, staying a respectful distance away from the nest until house explicitly permits him to come closer (house rolls his eyes when wilson hesitates to enter the nest even though he so clearly wants to)

[miley1442111]

Reader x Rafe. They have only been on a few dates. They do not have a claim on each other. Rafe’s cousing is visting for the weekend, unknown to her, and is a really pretty girl. Rafe posts a photo of her on his story on instagram, having dinner. Reader assumes the worst, that he is keeping his options open and dating others, and it makes her really sad when she only had eyes for him. She is aware that that they have not had a talk about dating others, and she does not have the ’’right’’ to be so sad but still is, wanting him to just feel like her, liking her so much that he does not want to see anyone else. Rafe at some point later after his family/cousin dinner is done, he texts reader at night, asking if she wants to talk on the phone ’missing her voice’ but she just scoffs sadly to herself reading it, now thinking he is just a bit of a pig, thinking she truly meant nothing to him for him to be so casual about it. Unknown to her, Rafe feels exactly the same as her, not wanting anyone but her and is walking in circles at home in panic talking to himself, wondering what he has done. He does not want to be to pushy as they have just started dating so he does not harass her with texts. A few days go by and he sees her at the bonfire with her friends, kind of approaches her like he approached Kie, very gentle and soft. She tries to just keep it short, answering his questions being polite and goes to leave after getting her drink but he is like ’’wow wow wow, wait. You’re not answering my calls. I feel like I’ve done something to upset you and it’s killing me’ and she kind of brings up the girl, not in an accusing way, more so like ’’I get it. You wanna keep your options open. I’m just not comfortable with that because I like you a lot. We had a good run but I guess that is it. Take care of yourself’’ with a sad smile but then he stops her from walking away and clears up the misunderstanding and its a sweet ending

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my promise- r.cameron

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a/n: thank you so much for requesting! sorry to everyone, i've been struggling a lot with writer's block and with college starting up everything has been super busy but I should be back on a fairly regular basis now :)

pairing: rafe cameron x fem! pogue! reader

summary: i suggest you look at the request

warnings: rafe is a bit of a dick without realising, reader is upset, pogues hate rafe, i think that's it?

+ this rafe is not show-accurate, this is another universe where he can express emotions and recognise how his action affect others :)

not entirely proofread

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Rafe Cameron was a pig. Three months of talking, and he finally asked you out. And now he was on a date with someone else. 

But what else were you expecting from the ‘Kook king’? Your friends were right. You shouldn’t have even bothered with Rafe. He would always be a fucking man-whore with too much money and too little empathy. Of course you were a game to him, what else would you be? You were a pogue. You were nothing in his eyes, just a fuck. You weren’t even his real girlfriend. He had no claim on you, and you had no claim on him. 

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You would’ve genuinely stabbed yourself in the eye if it meant you got to stop watching them interact. Rafe and that blonde girl. You’d never seen her on the island, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t from here. Random people spent summers here every year, a lot of people rented out their houses, especially the rich ones, just so someone would be in their mansions while they were busy in Bali, or the Hamptons, or wherever rich assholes went on holidays. 

She laughed at something he said and you rolled your eyes. “He’s not even fucking funny,” you scoffed. 

JJ rolled his eyes. “I hate to say ‘I told you so’, but-”

“Yeah yeah, you told me, I know,” you sighed. “Thought I could make a kook act like a human, that’s on me,” you held your arms up in defence. You two stood side by side as you shone the cutlery. Serving at the Country Club wasn’t bad, and the tips were good. It’s just you didn’t expect to see him on a date with someone else. 

You got off of work at 8pm, Rafe and the blonde girl were still busy chatting when you left. Jj gave you a lift on his bike and you decided to grab all of Rafe’s things and leave them on his doorstep, not even bothering to explain. You knew what you saw. You knew what he was doing. You didn’t care anymore, you were worth more than that. 

At about 2am you woke up to your phone ringing. 

“Hello?” 

Your groggy voice made Rafe smile. It had been a long night of entertaining his annoying beauty-queen cousin, and he wanted to talk to you, to see you. “Hey baby.”

You rolled your eyes. “Hi Rafe.”

“How was your day?” he asked. 

“Fine,” your answers were short and to the point. You had no interest in entertaining this anymore. “Yours?”

“Boring as fuck,” he chuckled. 

“What did you do today?” you asked, morbid curiosity getting the better of you. You wanted to see if he’d admit it. 

“Nothing much, worked out, golf, went to dinner with family, that’s it.” 

Of course he was lying. And using his family as a cover? Asshole. 

“Why did you call me?” you questioned, trying to act interested, but failing miserably. 

“I missed your voice,” he admitted shyly. 

“Ok, you heard it, night Rafe,” you sighed before hanging up. A part of you was angry. Another was just upset. How could he see other people? You two had a really good thing going, didn’t you? You thought he was going to ask you to be his girlfriend. How wrong you were. It just reminded you of why you were so apprehensive to date him in the first place, to date anyone in the first place. Maybe you weren’t enough for him. Maybe you weren’t enough at all. 

You let yourself try to sleep it off, but the next few days you were down, and everyone could tell. Jj had told the others what had happened, and you could see the pitying glances from Kie and the boys, and the annoyed looks from Sarah. She hated him, genuinely, but this was the last straw. She’d told him not to break your heart. She’d warned him. 

“What about the bonfire tonight?” John B offered to the group as the sunset. “That would cheer you up,” he nudged your arm and you grimaced. 

“I don’t feel like going out,” you sighed. “You guys go ahead.”

Sarah sighed. “You can’t let this ruin your week Y/n. He’s a dick, he’ll always be a dick, and it wasn’t your fault for liking him. Every single one of my friends as a kid liked him, then he showed his true colours and he’s a dick again. His behaviour is not a benchmark for your value. He’s in the wrong, not you. Come out with us tonight, even if it’s just for 30 minutes, yeah?”

You rolled your eyes, giving in. “Fine.”

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You hadn’t texted him back in three days. He didn’t want to be the pushy ‘be with me all the time’  boyfriend, but he was used to texting you at least once a day. Now you’d left him without a response for 3 whole days. Thinking back, he knew you were being weird during the phone call the other night, and he couldn’t understand what he’d done. Were you losing interest? He hoped you weren’t. You were the only girl who he’d ever been really serious about.  You were the only girl he’d ever felt a real connection with. You were his girl, at least, you would be. 

He pulled up to the bonfire with one thought in mind, find you.

You pulled up to the bonfire with one thought in mind, hide from Rafe. 

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Hiding didn’t exactly last long, especially when he was directly following you around the entire beach. If you went towards the water, he’d come near you, if you went towards the house, he’d come near you, if you went up to the fire, there he just so happened to be, roasting a marshmallow with a big smile on his face. You did notice how he wasn’t carrying around his signature corona, nor was his nose full of white powder. Huh. He’d listened when you said you didn’t like him being ‘uncontrolled’ as you called it, yet he went on a date with another girl. Strange.

You sat away from your friends, by the water, nursing a can of beer. You weren’t a heavy drinker and you’d probably go home after this, since you’d already been at the party for a little while. You watched the sea come in and out. Wave after wave, softly brushing against the shore. 

“Hey,” Rafe’s voice brought you out of your trance. He sat down beside you, dirtying whatever expensive shorts he had on. 

“Hey,” you answered.

“How are you?” He asked, his tone not missing the awkwardness of this moment. He was nervous before coming up to you, but now? Having to come face to face with your cold tone was becoming unbearable pretty quickly. 

“Fine thanks, how are you?” You asked, continuing your staring at the sea. 

“Good. Better, now,” he smiled, placing a hand over yours. “You forgot to text me back.”

“Did I?” you didn’t even try to make yourself sound sincere. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright. You been busy? How’s work?” 

“It’s fine,” you answered. After a moment of silence, you got up. “I’m going to get another beer-”

“Wait,” he jumped up beside you. “You’re not answering my calls. You’re not talking to me normally. You’re not answering my questions. Have I done something to upset you?”

You scoffed. “I wonder.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What does that mean Y/n? You’re killing me here.”

“Look, I get it you want to keep your options open and we were just casual, it’s fine. I’m just not the kind of girl to just be casual with, alright? That stuff makes me uncomfortable, and I really liked you. But if you want to go and do that, that’s fine, just don’t bring me into it,” you explained calmly. “Goodbye Rafe.”

“Wait, wait, wait, wait!” he called after you, making you turn back. “What are you talking about?”

“I saw you at the Country Club with the blonde girl, Rafe, seriously, your dating life is your own- what?” You stopped talking because Rafe had started pulling a disgusted face. “What’s wrong?”

“That’s my cousin,” he explained. “My super annoying cousin.”

And everything made a bit more sense. The family comment wasn’t a lie. Now that you think about it, they did look pretty similar.

“Oh.”

“You thought we were on a date?” 

“Well it was candle-lit,” you chuckled.

“All the tables at the club are candle-lit past 8pm!” He laughed. “That’s why you’ve been ignoring me? You thought I was cheating on you?”

“Well, we haven’t technically said we were dating so… I just assumed you were keeping your options open,” you shrugged. 

Rafe cracked a smile. “You think I’d pick anyone over you?”

You shrugged. “People do.”

“People are fucking stupid,” he wrapped an arm around your shoulder as you two walked further down the beach. “So, Y/n Y/l/n, will you do me the honours of officially being your boyfriend?” 

“Only if you do me the honours of being your girlfriend,” you smiled.  He turned to you and cupped your cheek, pressing his lips to yours. “I’m all yours, promise.”

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obx masterlist :)

navigation for my blog :) (criminal minds, obx, the bear, marvel, top gun, the hunger games, challengers :)

[atxxzist]

the crown prince | c.s

summary: with the fall of the king, the kingdom of utopia rest on prince san's hand. but when bounties are put on his head as the consequence of his ancestors' actions, he realize there's a backlog of history to undo and a lot more to prove that he's deserving of being the rightful ruler

pairing: choi san x f!reader

genre: prince!san, commoner!y/n, medieval au, angst, fluff, suggestive

word count: 19k

(ao3) if you don't like lapslock

age 8:

you live in the fifth district, the poorest and most rundown of all districts, sitting at the bottom of the kingdom with a large body of water surrounding it.

the only remarkable thing about the place is the port that's often used for traveling in and out of the kingdom. other than that, rarely anyone from other districts would come down unless they want to be at risk of a flood--which always striked the district the hardest out of any others.

but even then, despite the limited portions of food your family has to survive on each day, or the hardrock wood mattress you guys have to sleep on that frequently gives your aging father back pain, life doesn't seem all that bad.

you still have your family and a roof over your head, and a mind too young and optimistic.

age 10:

just two years after, you soon find out how hard it really is for a kid living in the fifth district, and especially one without parents or someone to love and care for them.

the fishermen had said your parents fell overboard and their bodies couldn't be recovered.

you couldn't believe it at first that no one looked even the least concerned or urgent to search for your parents, but you soon learn that their lives are meaningless, and the people that threw you out after their death made sure you knew so is yours.

"ay, kid, we could leave you out here to die if we really want to," one of the tall, scary looking man says after your episode of protesting and crying starts to annoy him.

and easily like that, they both leave you in the orphanage that's already overcrowded with other children of similar circumstances.

you lose everything in one day; the house your father built from scratch, along with anything that's ever been handmade by your mother, it's all gone. they're both gone, and you feel yourself withering away with all the loss.

before the age of eleven, you become nothing more than a ward of the district and the responsibility to a bunch of strangers who probably doesn't care whether you live or die.

age 11:

it only takes a year for you to become almost nothing like the person you were once before who was cheerful and optimistic.

all of it beat out of you, watching every day as some of the children gets yelled at or punished for doing something so trivial, it desensitized you to the point you're no longer surprise to hear someone get told no one else would want them outside of the orphanage.

you don't talk to anyone or attempt to make any friends. you keep to yourself and would often read any books you could find or hunt for any sewing materials during the few time of the day they let you guys out.

age 12:

during dinner, you hear the group of kids sitting at the nearby table talk about the upcoming coronation of the prince.

"it's not even like we're gonna get to see it," one of the girls squeak, seemingly uninterested in the topic as she pokes her food because it's true.

events like that, especially any celebrations or gatherings are only reserved for those in the second and first districts, who are usually of noble and royal status. not nobodies like you guys down here living off of scraps and remnants.

"i want to see how the prince looks like," another boy adds with a mischievous tone.

you, too, want to see what the prince looks like, but you most likely never will. he won't come here and the chances of you going up there is damn near impossible, it might as well be good as a dream.

but all of the children agrees that he's the luckiest kid in the kingdom, and for that, they hate him for it.

age 13:

through the years, you've been watching as kids go and new ones would come in.

those that left were lucky to have gotten moved or adopted into a household that were willing to take them in, and you, like all the other kids in here, tired of the overcrowding and deteriorating state of the orphanage, hope that a kind family will one day swoop you away.

but it doesn't happen at age thirteen, and you continue to share a bunk with the same girl from three years ago who's been here longer than you.

age 14:

the states of the lower districts only seems to decline as you get older with the corrupted hierarchy and the rich taking all the resources for themselves.

for hundreds of years--you've learned, that it's always been bad, but everything's looking far worse than it has even four years ago.

but with the conditions in the lower three districts deteriorating, the citizens are growing more vocal, bitter, and resentful of those that resides in peace while everyone else is suffering.

the disparity not only made everyone despite the higher ups, but also each other as the stresses of the poor states get to them. and with you living in one of the three's, it made you harbor a hatred toward the top two districts as well, unable to see them past anything but greedy and power-hungry.

slanders of the royal family increased then. talks of overthrowing the king or starting a war for equal resources for all districts, and some even saying they'd rather swim across the ocean to reach kingdom aurora than to live in this "hellhole". but at the time, they were nothing but empty threats to make one feel better.

age 15:

you were so scared at first, hearing of all the horror stories told by the older, taunting kids who's gonna get moved into a family soon, that you're gonna be unlucky for the rest of your life and not get chosen like them.

that you're just gonna stay here until some lowly men decides to buy you off, or probably meet a worse fate.

but one sudden day when the director of the orphanage comes running into the dining hall and announces to all the kids to be on their best behaviors because someone from the second district is going to be coming down the next day, your life changes for the better at the age of fifteen.

you didn't think you had a chance at all, but you still wanted to try because no matter the intense dislike you hold for the two higher districts, if there's an opportunity for a better life, you're going to take it.

it's better than staying here and suffering. everyone else is becoming desperate and you're not any different.

the lady comes the following day as expected, her carriage alerting the entire place of her arrival as all the kids are on their knees with desperation in their eyes.

you guys have never had any visitors from a district so high up before, so this is very crucial.

when she walks in, everyone bows to welcome her, the sight as equally mesmerizing to others as it is to you. never in your life have you seen anyone with so many pearls and jewels, the gown she's wearing made of only the best materials.

it then hits you harder that however this lady decides to take you in, you're going to be living a comfortable life no matter what.

she takes one look around the room, all the children secretly crossing their fingers and it's when her eyes land on you and her lips turn up into a smile.

the director tells her you're a good kid. often guarded and doesn't really get along with the others, but well behaved nonetheless.

it feels weird to be the one everyone's envious of when you were usually on the opposite spectrum, but now passing all the kids as you make way to the front door, all their burning gazes planting a seed of guilt because you understand the feeling all too well.

but with the nation in this state, all anyone can do is look out for themselves. eventually, their time will come, and this just so happens to be yours.

the lady sits you down in the carriage next to her while the coachman leads the way back. she informs you will be working under the family as a servant but will be provided housing, food, and even freedom from time to time.

"i heard you like sewing."

you nod shyly at her words.

"i learned it from my mother."

"good. then you will have the opportunity to hone the skill."

the trip to the second district takes a total of three days, the only times you guys stopped was for food or toilet breaks. when the coachman announces the arrival, your first time seeing the scenery is that to of a fish fresh out of water.

you didn't even know trees or grass could be that green. or that it's not always supposed to feel like a sense of dread that takes the smiles off people's faces until they just look straight miserable.

it's as if you've entered a completely different nation, unable to comprehend the huge difference already, even in comparison to the third district.

the lady is quick to disappear into the house almost the size of the orphanage itself, calling for someone else to escort you around and show what the next couple of years (and possibly, the rest of your life) has in store for you.

you're to wake up at 5am everyday to prepare food for the noble family, and will be sharing a chamber with three other female servants: the main cook, the main cleaner, and another young girl about your age.

you're only allowed to wander during weekends with authorization and is only to go out for groceries or other necessities. other than that, any rule breaking will have consequences.

for the next couple of days, you practice the routine.

waking up in the early morning and prepping breakfast, then cleaning, and repeat for lunch and dinner. sometimes, you'd get to do different tasks like helping the noble daughter pick out a dress or shoes for the day, but that's only if you get called.

you pick up the cooking and cleaning quite fast because you used to help your parents a lot. and though the work hours can be tiring, the food you're eating and the place you sleep in is a lot better.

you also get the occasional freedom and access to improve your seamstress skills, and it's not the ideal life, but it is the best one for someone like you.

--

you hear a grunting sound close by one morning when you decide to wake up earlier than usual.

turning to the source, you see a figure far away near the tall gates, prancing around in his heavy armors with a sword in his hand. the sight definitely amazes you as you're only able to stare in awe before accidentally creating a ruckus that catches the attention of the stranger as he turns around.

it's still dark and you can't see his face very well, only until he starts walking toward you.

"can i help you?" he asks, voice a type of husky but innocent.

"oh, no." you shake your head, "i was just uhm... watching."

he chuckles and looks to the ground, your eyes trained on the way his dark hair ruffles along with his movements until he's staring at you again, finally out of the poor lighting.

he's cute and has childlike features. definitely not an appearance that gives away he could probably slice you dead right now if he wants to.

"you're the new worker," he vocalize, and it takes you a second to figure how he knew, following his gaze to the door of the chamber behind you.

"ah, yes i am." you nod.

"cool. well, i'm the gatekeeper. jongho."

"gatekeeper?" you crank an eyebrow, so far behind on rich people terminology, you have no idea what that means.

"i just protect and patrol the place in case of any intruders. it sounds fancy but it's really not. you don't have to keep it formal, though. we're all servants here."

"i see." you smile tight-lipped.

he also does look a little too young to be manhandling weapons or putting his life on the line, but you too, are also too young to be losing your parents and getting sold off as a servant.

for anyone in the lower three districts, it is all for survival.

you soon learn that jongho was born in the fourth district but he's been living and training here for so long, he can barely recall his time there.

and you're not sure what it is about him that makes you open up given the fact you've been closed off for so long ever since your parents death and the comprehension of the cruel world you're living in, but through the year and before you turn sixteen, you find your first true friend in choi jongho.

age 16:

you get acquainted with hongjoong, a friend of jongho and a messenger who travels in and out of the districts to deliver any important information.

you're not sure how he keeps his identity on the low in spite of the growing tension between all the districts, but jongho assures you he has his ways.

jongho spends his days training with many kinds of weapons; swords, spears, daggers, crossbows, and just about everything when he's not guarding the house--which he usually isn't because the second district is still relatively safe at this time.

but if there is any outside attackers, it would be jongho's and the other men's responsibilities to protect the noble family. it's what they've all been trained for.

you still cook and clean, and your sewing skills have gotten increasingly better that you also started picking up embroidery.

on the occasion, jongho would teach you how to use a dagger just so you'd have some knowledge of self defense and protection considering the alarming state of the nation.

and now that you're living under people of noble status, royal parties and balls were the standards. not that you'll ever get to attend them for yourself, always hearing about it for an alternative or watching the noble family dress up in pretty attires that cost hefty coins before they waddle off in their carriage into the first district.

hongjoong returns a week later, informing you and jongho that the conditions, especially in the fifth district, is really bad that some citizens have decided to risk their lives in hope of reaching the kingdom of aurora since ships and boats cannot be sailed without approval from the royal family.

"it's basically a death sentence to be living in any of the lower districts at this point. i fear if the king doesn't do anything about it, a civil war may be on the horizon."

age 17:

not much changes and hongjoong has said that the king, along with other royal and noble families, refused to take actions since the dividing of resources for all the other districts would cause the first and second to falter because they do not have enough for everyone.

it's better to keep some afloat than to put the entire nation at risk.

"but sir, that's only going to keep running the citizens out of the nation, and the ones that do stay are becoming angry. the first organization against the royal family already formed, calling themselves outlaws. and they're not just ordinary citizens. they could infiltrate the two higher districts if they want to. a solution is not to only keep them happy, but to also prevent a war."

"then strengthen the security. we also have equally skilled men, if not, more. send any able-bodied men to the gates of the first and second district and don't let anybody from the lower threes enter."

age 18:

things only get worse. nobody is allowed to travel freely between the districts anymore and anyone from the first two were strongly advised not to go down because the chances of getting robbed or assaulted are high.

the four working men in the house dwindled down to two because the other two, including jongho, would be sent to guard the entrance. but during rotation when he gets to come back to sleep and eat, he'd tell you that it's eerily quiet, but that all the lower districts know the higher ones are blocking off entrance and might retaliate soon.

"we should be prepared for the worst. hongjoong said the fact they're quiet might mean the organization is planning something."

age 19:

for a while, security at the entrance decreases when it looks like the lower districts weren't gonna try to do anything about it.

jongho and the other men in the house were able to stay around longer, sometimes even for a few days straight without going back, and the outrage did feel like it was just a false alarm.

no one in the higher districts, even hongjoong, were prepared for the storm that is after the calm.

"y/n! wake up!"

you groggily groan at the voice, sounding both hushed but eager as it jolts you from sleep.

it's jongho and he looks absolutely terrified, his figure hovering over your body still in bed.

"come on, y/n! we have to get going!"

you don't have the time to take in anything, jongho already pulling you up harshly to stand on your feet as you hurl out more groans and complaints.

"what's going on? i was sleeping, you know."

"the king is dead."

it's those words that makes you more awake than ever, unable to believe as you just stare dumbfoundedly while he ravages the drawers for more appropriate clothings.

"w-what? h-how?" you can barely form anything coherent at this point, your heart racing so fast.

"he was assasinated," jongho reveals, throwing a loose, oversized shirt at you. "we're not sure how they managed to get that far up the first district, but all this time, that must've been what they were preparing for--you need to get changed."

he throws you a pair of pants and continues speaking, at the same time going through almost the entire perimeter for anything that will prove useful.

you don't even care he's in the same room, your body going into shock and quickly pulling the night gown off before putting on what he gave you.

"hongjoong thinks they're planning a raid, starting from the second district and working their way up. if we stay here, we could get captured, held hostage, or whatever those outlaws want to do with us--here."

he finds the dagger he had given you sitting in the last drawer, pulling the extra sheath out of his pouch and running to tie it around your waist.

"keep this with you at all time, and remember what i taught you. just in case we ever get separated, you need to protect yourself," he demands, passing the dagger to you with an extremely serious look on his face along with the statement just now, making you queasy in the stomach.

you can't imagine having to part from jongho for whatever reason. you wouldn't know what to do.

he gestures to your shoes and you wear it quickly.

"now come on, let's go!" he grabs your wrist and your body flings forward, only managing to grab the pouch on top the dresser before your feet's following his steps out the door despite the lingering sleepiness and that you could be forgetting something else, but it's all happening so fast, your mind struggling to keep up.

you're about to ask him about the other servants, or the noble family, but as he whisk you into the nightly air, the breeze pushing past your skin, you realize that before jongho came, you were alone.

they all left you.

"where are we going?" you ask.

"down to the third district. hongjoong lended me a map and said to go through the forest, we'll catch less attention that way. he said we can stay at one of his hideouts for now."

for the next hours, you don't see anything but trees and branches in your way, and the moon high above the dark sky as it follows both you and jongho.

your feet tired and sore at this point, asking jongho to find a place to sit even for just a few minutes because you might just pass out.

"if we keep at this pace, we'll be able to make it to the third district by morning," he informs, handing over the costrel and telling you to drink.

you nod, passing it back after finishing, observing for a few seconds as jongho takes a couple sips.

"so where did everyone else go?" you finally bring up the question bothering you.

"to the lower districts. i heard some are hoping to reach the port so they'll get the chance to sail to aurora or dune, now that the royal family is in a crisis, people don't care anymore. but as you already know, we have limited ships and boats and it's going to be a bloodbath all around."

he goes on, "we only found out the king was dead when people from the first district started migrating, and then everyone in the second started panicking, and i honestly did too initially. i was about to start heading down until i remembered you."

you smile and nudge the boy with your elbow affectionately.

"if not for you, i probably would've turned into a corpse by tomorrow."

"pfft," he scoffs, "not a corpse but a captive maybe. their target is still the royal family, and now that the king is dead, they'll most likely go after the prince. the raid is just to scare people off so they can bask in the lavish that the first and second district has to offer. but still, it's better to be safe than sorry. they did killed the king, after all."

you take in the information, asking one last question.

"and where is hongjoong?"

"he was also in the second district at the time, but after lending me the map and instructions, he said he's gonna go up in order to get more details; hopefully talk to the prince and will report back in a few days."

"do you think he's going to be okay?"

jongho nods and stands up from the log, reaching his hand out to help you.

"he should be. he wouldn't be able to survive for this long if he isn't competent. but we should get going or else the trip will be delayed."

--

the hideout is a small shack in the corner of the wood, blending into the surroundings so perfectly, you and jongho almost missed it.

it's essentially a square with a single wooden bed, one chair, and a small table with an ewer sitting on top. jongho said the water in there should still be good to use, and that he brought enough breads to survive on for a few days.

"i can take the floor," he says, taking off the crossbow and sword that's been stuck to his body for an entire night and settling them down.

"we can take turns," you offer an alternative, pitying the boy because he's the one who's been doing most of the works.

"alright."

he nods it off. he wasn't gonna fight you on it.

you and jongho passes time by training for the majority of time. sometimes, you'd just watch, but when he isn't worn out by his own routine, he'd tell you the basics of a crossbow and a knightly sword and would proceed to watch you practice with the dagger.

"you're holding it like a coward who's never fought in their life," is his usual criticism.

"well maybe cause i am a coward who has never fought before," you will retort.

"when facing an enemy, you can't show that you're afraid. you have to believe in yourself."

"easy for you to say."

but regardless of his yapping that sometimes make you roll your eyes all the way to the back of your head, he's a good teacher and even complimented you. if saying that you're a lot less awful than when you started, counts.

three days later from when you both settled, the light, passive knock at the door alerts you and jongho, you almost wishing it was one of the outlaws, preferably a weaker member just so you can put what you've learned to use.

but it's hongjoong.

"so what did the prince say?" jongho asks, quick and eager.

"he's recruiting. said he'll take in anyone still willing to stand by his side while he figure things out. he needs time."

"what about the guards and men that were in the castle? isn't it their duty to protect the royal family?"

"more than half of them ran to the lower districts. the outlaws probably won't do much to a normal citizen, but they will be vile to anyone on the prince's side."

"and he didn't try to stop them?" you join, hongjoong turning his head to you and shaking.

"he said he wasn't gonna force anyone who didn't want to stay. but for those willing to fight by his side, he'll take them."

you don't mean to come off hypercritical, but you can't help but think that the prince is being careless.

"but the outlaws want him dead, no? he shouldn't be taking in just anybody. that's too dangerous."

hongjoong just shrugs.

"that was his order."

a silence hangs between the three of you after, and one glance at jongho, you see that conflicted look in his eyes and know that he's about to say something you won't like.

"i'll go."

you snap your neck to him so fast, there must've been a pop.

"what--jongho, no," you object, worry in your tone. hongjoong just standing by and watching the incoming dispute unfold.

"it's better than standing around and waiting for something to happen."

"but putting your life on the line? for all you know, there might not even be a solution at all. look at the state of the kingdom. people are running away, everyone fearing for their own safety. in the end, you could be dying for nothing. did you forget it's because of these people that us born in the lower districts have to live a shit life?"

by now, you're both facing each other and fuming through your noses.

"and did you forget that we haven't been to the lower districts in years? ever since we got the opportunity to move into one of the top two? even if we were just servants, we were living better than a normal family in the fifth district. i was guarding and blocking off an entrance because i was so much better than the people trying to get through. you think i enjoyed doing that shit? no. but it was my job. in some ways, we betrayed our roots, y/n. and you're right. the prince could be lying and stalling out of his ass, but you know... i'm hoping that he's not. because for once, i want to feel like i'm doing something worthy. i didn't train all my life just to guard gates where nothing ever fucking happens nine out of ten times."

you watch in disbelief as he turns to pick up his crossbow and sword.

"so whether you like it or not, i'm going."

he gives hongjoong a stern look, to which the older man returns one, but is soon carried away by your voice again.

"then i'm going with you."

and jongho knows he's going to sound like a hypocrite; the fact he cares for you as much as you care for him so he doesn't want you to put yourself in the face of danger.

he also understands that you share the same sentiment in regard to him, which is why you don't want him to go.

"no. it's safest for you to stay here. you don't have the same training and combat that i do. you can barely hold a dagger the right way and it's one of the most light and basic weapon. those outlaws will pummel you like a bug."

you roll your eyes and you can see hongjoong trying to hold in his laughter.

"well geez, thanks, master. but boohoo. all i know is that i need to stab," you snark, managing to pull a small smile from jongho before switching tone. "i'm serious, though. i know i'm not gonna be pounding anyone, but i'd still like to come with. it would put a lot of my worries to rest knowing you're alive and okay."

"i'll be fine, y/n," he assures, one hand on your shoulder, "and if it'll make you feel better, if hongjoong doesn't mind, he can come once in a while to inform you of what's going on."

you meet hongjoong's gaze at that and he nods with a thin smile.

but that's still not good enough for you because how can you possibly be okay with the only person you can call family, going off and risking his life?

you're not.

which is why when they both finally depart, you wait until they're a good distance away yet still visible to the eye, tying the sheath the way jongho did and sticking your dagger in before taking the costrel he left for you along with the remaining breads and following right behind them.

hongjoong used to travel on horseback but he has to be more discreet this time around, especially going up the higher districts.

you're somewhat thankful for that because you're not sure you can keep up if that was the case.

you stop when they stop, and rest when they rest. you would try listening in on their conversations but it's always inaudible from where you're at.

you put aside the pain of an aching feet or fear of the nightly forest, afraid you would give yourself out.

two days later, you're sure you guys are close. a part of you somewhat curiously pumped because you've never wander up the first district before.

with the sun setting and the stars soon to come out, you're hoping to arrive before it gets too dark because you really are dreading the idea of spending another night hidden behind itchy bushes.

dragging yourself up the steep hill, you can't help but to admire the scenery, the air of utopia still fresh and the birds still chirp like the nation is whole, resuming your steps only to see that you've lost sighting of jongho and hongjoong, and if you're any quicker, they will catch on.

you don't panic just yet, although you're getting nervous, but carrying on because the castle shouldn't be too far from here. as soon as you can spot it, it should be easy to trace it back to the two.

the only problem is how you're gonna get in once you reach it.

as you get closer to the top, you can spot the castle's head peaking, and once finally on flat land, you're able to see the entire thing, and the dazzling white architecture is hard to miss.

the heart and soul of utopia planted right in the center of the first district, and you've never seen anything more sophisticated in your entire life. but as you sneak closer, you're sure that you're not even gonna make it past the portcullis.

if you don't find jongho, you'd be coming all this way for nothing.

--

you've been watching the guards at the gate and their patterns of behavior for the last hour, every time inching closer to the entrance with the least amount of noise as possible.

but you should've known. you've overestimated your ability (by a large margin) thinking you can outsmart people who does this for a living, and of all places, it had to be royal family's. stupid.

you barely take a step when the pressure of a sharp object against your back make your eyes go wide in horror.

you're thinking this is it. you should've listened to jongho and should have not acted like such a know-it-all, because the next time he sees you, it will be in corspe form.

the beating of your heart is loud along with the stranger's breathing, their hand going retrieve your dagger from the sheath, and if they attack, you will have no other way to defend yourself.

"who the hell are you and why are you sneaking around my castle?" the deep, masculine tone drowns your ears.

my castle?

you foolishly turn around like an idiot, feeling the pressure of the object move to your neck instead, looking up at this mysterious stranger but unable to make anything out.

the running of footsteps and commotion can be heard from behind you, a series of voices and better lighting approaching with all the torches in the guards hands, and when you're finally able to make out the pair of eyes staring back, it feels as if you forgot how to breathe.

because if it isn't the most beautiful man you've ever seen, dark locks, sly and sharp eyes to that of a fox that looks disapproving of your choices before it turns slightly softer when he sees how harmless you actually look, the weapon in his hand lowering with a clear of his throat.

"what part of 'it's safest if you stay here' did you not understand?"

jongho's loud and frustrated voice echoes through the entire hall, pacing back and forth in place as he reprimands you in front of hongjoong, the prince, and his other royal companions.

the prince (who you have to make a point one more time that he's devastingly beautiful) was unexpectedly casual when you explained to him you were looking for your friends, even returning your dagger.

"i only came because i was worried about you. i know you would do the same for me."

"yes, but something could've happened to you. you could've gotten lost, or worse."

"as you can see, i'm fine. the most life threatening thing was the prince putting a knife to my back and neck."

"because you were limping around the castle like an idiot."

"well, what was he doing outside of it anyways?"

"why are you talking about the prince like that!" he yells, and the both of you having an awakening at the same time, registers how embarrassing and inappropriate it actually is to be having a screaming match in the royal family's hall, turns to the prince and bow in apology.

"sorry," you both mutter.

"it's fine," the prince dismisses.

when you were still living at the orphanage, some of the kids would often play guessing games about the prince just because the chances of ever meeting him were close to none, everyone might as well get creative.

some assumed he's a snob because kids being kids, they were all jealous of the fact he was living better, and so it's only natural he would think he's better than everyone else.

then some thought he looked like a troll, which was why the king and queen kept him inside most of the time.

none of you guys knew a lot about the prince, but there were words on the street that he almost never went out of the castle; some even using that as confirmation for why he's a stuck-up.

but after meeting him, he's nothing like the kids have predicted.

he definitely does not look like a troll or sound like a snob, at least so far. he's actually rather soft-spoken, though a bit aloof and stoic. but you suppose one isn't gonna be jolly after the death of their father.

--

jongho had insisted that you go back immediately, and you were considerate of the castle's deities enough to pull him outside just to object.

but you only got another line in the quarrel before the prince intervened and much to jongho's dismay, said you could stay for the night since it was getting late and traveling would be difficult.

"but you're leaving as soon as the sun comes up!" he proceeds to nag the entire time you tuck yourself to bed, the prince kindly offering a spare chamber for you to stay in.

"yes. i know," you reply, all snarky tone and turning to face the other way because he's getting on your nerves.

there's a quick silence before the edge of the bed creaks with his weight.

"look, i know you only came because you were worried about me, and you're right, i would do the same for you."

you toss slowly to look him up in the eyes from your position.

he goes on, now locking you in his gaze, "but it's way too dangerous for you to stay here, and we don't know when they're going to attack. and worse, if they see you're in alliance with the prince, who knows what they'll do? i'll be fine. this is what i've trained my whole life for. you just have to believe in me."

you sigh and frown, finally deciding to cave because you do know that jongho is capable. you've never doubted him. it's the opponents that you're unsure of, their next moves could be anything.

"i'll go back, but hongjoong still needs to follow the end of the deal."

jongho smiles warmly, relieved you're no longer trying to fight him on this.

"he'd be happy to."

you nod, figuring that since you're already here, you might as well ask.

"so how many men volunteered?"

"for now, three. me, someone named yunho from the third district, and another guy named minjun. but more might wind up later, who knows."

"i still don't think it's smart of the prince to be taking in just anyone. it's way too risky. you have good intentions, but what about the two other?" you voice concernedly, your forehead starting to crease from the distress.

you just met the prince, but you know that the idea is ridiculous and you don't want him meeting the same fate as his father.

"optimism maybe? i don't know. more than half of the royal family's protections are gone so he probably can't be too picky. but i'd like to think he knows what he's doing."

but he's also still young and is currently in a worse position than his father, the king, who couldn't even save utopia. you don't think anybody is ready to be in his place, let alone lead an entire kingdom that's falling apart.

"alright. then you should return to the others; help them look after the prince. he's going to need it."

"actually, he ordered us to stay with the queen and princess."

you shoot up from position, incredulity written all over your face.

"what--why? all of you guys? then who's going to look after him?"

jongho shrugs.

"i disagree as well, but after all, he's the prince. we can't disobey orders."

"you guys should be allowed to if it's foolish. what is going on in his head?" you shake your own, unable to believe it.

you just know that something bad is gonna happen, and it would be due to the prince's own incompetence.

jongho has no idea either given he only just met him as well, but he's crossing his fingers the prince will prove both of you wrong.

"i have to go. you should get some rest because you'll be leaving in the early morning. i'll see you then."

--

you're woken up by a heavy disturbance, the ruckus happening outside of the room but also sounding so close.

it might be best if you stay here; leave whatever the noises is to the guards in the castle, but you just feel it in your guts that your prediction have came true.

carefully opening the door, you peek your head out, immediately drawn to the bright light illuminating at the end of the hall, and soon, your quick and eager feet has taken you to the shocking sight.

the prince standing before jongho and another guard as they hold back someone you can't quite recall. one of his hand tending to the cut on his left arm, and you can see the red seeping through the thin white fabric.

the prince meets your eyes when he notices you standing outside.

"i knew it!" you screech, your turn to pace back and forth as jongho watches from the side. "he shouldn't have just taken in anyone!"

you found out it was minjun, one of threes who volunteered along with jongho, who attacked the prince. apparently, he had snuck away from the other guards and was in the prince's room within minutes, a sword aimed at the young royal that could've taken his life.

"luckily, he only got off with a cut. i can't even imagine what would've happened."

jongho groans anxiously, the first day on the job and the reality of it already showing its head.

"there's nothing luck-based about the prince's survival," hongjoong's voice has you both turning as he appears from the opened door.

"prince san isn't only highly skilled in all areas of fighting, but he's the best warrior utopia has to offer. he most likely knew about the attack beforehand, which was why he only got away with a cut considering minjun also isn't just an average member of the outlaws," hongjoong reveals, the new information makes you and jongho gawk at each other in surprise.

"y/n," he calls out, and you detach from jongho's eyes to look at him.

"yes?"

"i need you to do me a favor. i trust you enough, and you look rather... harmless."

you pinch in your brows. if he wants to go off about your terrible fighting and self defense skill, he might as well just spell it out.

"the prince said he has a plan, but we're going to need to buy time. and no matter how skilled he is, we can't keep dealing with people coming into the castle in attempts to severe the prince's head. it's best if he's away until we can figure things out, for his safety and the kingdom's."

you only hum and nod, wondering where exactly this is going.

"he'll be leaving with you in the morning."

your face falls in horror, unable to believe they're entrusting the prince to you. the thoughts of being alone with someone like him both terrifying but weirdly stimulating.

"oh my gosh, she's blushing..." jongho yelps, a smirk tugging at his lips. he's seen the way you'd ogle at the prince, definitely something you never did to any other men.

"i'm not!" you cry defensively, embarrassed. "i-i just don't think i'm the right person."

"we just need the prince away from the castle for a few days. for now, it look like the outlaws are not planning on moving up the first district entirely, so the rest of us should be safe as well for the time being. you still remember the way back to the shack, right?"

you nod hesitantly.

"good. then it's settled."

--

the following morning, everyone bids farewell to the prince, the queen and princess wishing him well as the guards and hongjoong stack him with equipments, while jongho makes you carry the food and water.

he takes off the royal attire, disguising himself in commoner clothings instead, as recommended by his companion, wooyoung.

hongjoong promises to report back once things get relatively better.

at first, it's nerve-racking because you just can't help it. the prince is so handsome and your touch-starved body just reacts naturally, but once you figure he isn't gonna talk to you, only gesturing or murmuring out short instructions, the spark wears off.

"we should stop and rest for the night," he speaks more than three words for the first time, laying down his stuff and nodding to the tall tree.

"alright."

you settle your things down as well, plopping against the tree and waiting for him to do the same but he instead pulls out the sword and starts slashing the air.

when he takes notice of your gawking from behind, he apologizes.

"sorry, i'm just... practicing, hope you don't mind. you can rest, i'll keep watch."

you nod it off, sleep soon taking over, but when you wake a few hours later, able to tell from the different color painting the sky, the prince is still practicing and seems just as eager as he was before.

"prince," you call out, his movements halting in place as he turns back at the sound of your voice.

"call me san."

you clear your throat, "uh... san, have you slept at all?"

he shakes his head.

"i was practicing."

you stand up, dusting off the dirts from your pants and growing concerned regarding the sleepless prince.

"you can sleep. i'll keep watch and if there's anything, i'll wake you up," you offer, but he's quick to reject the proposal.

"no need to. i'm not tired anyways. if you're feeling fully rested, we can keep going. the sun is almost up."

you watch in dejection as he goes to retrieve his things because you're not sure you can believe he's not even the tiniest bit tired from everything so far.

--

it takes almost an entire day to reach the destination, your body tired and aching for something to sit on, the minute you reach the shack, you're sprawled all over the chair.

the prince looks just fine, though.

"it's small, but comfortable," you assure the prince just in case he has any doubts in mind. because you initially did, too, but it was surprisingly homey when you last stayed with jongho.

he nods, eyes roaming the small interior.

"it'll do."

"you can take the bed. i don't mind taking the floor," you tell him, but he instead shakes his head.

"the bed's all yours. i'll be outside practicing."

you scowl and sit up from your seat.

"again? we've been traveling all day. you should really get some rest considering you didn't get any the night before."

but he's stubborn, grabbing for his sword again as you can only sigh in disapproval.

"i really don't feel tired."

"then you should eat, at least."

"i'm not hungry."

you end up going to bed alone, only listening to the prince's grunting and slashing outside as he practices like he's trying to reach out to something or someone.

the uneasiness consuming you, seeing him always looking so miserable as if something's bothering him, unable to rest or do anything else.

it's understandable because of the circumstances he's in, but you wish he would be kinder to himself.

you only give him another two hours before taking matters into your own hand, flinging the door open to his figure dancing around the area with his sword, calling his name softly that makes him stop in track to look at you.

"enough," you mumble, quiet but stern, prying the weapon out of his hold with so much power, you think jongho would be proud.

"no, i have to pr--" he reaches for the sword but you move back, the prince grabbing only the nightly air in place.

"no, you don't," you spit, your free hand going to grab his wrist and dragging him back inside. "you need to eat and rest."

the sword clinks the flooring when you drop it, sitting san down on the bed and grabbing some of the breads and dried meat before taking the seat next to him.

"i understand you're going through a lot right now and it's tough, but you need to take care of yourself. you can't wear your body out or punish it. you're not even fully healed from the cut. if something happens, if worst comes to worst, you need to be prepared to fight."

you push the food toward him but he doesn't budge the slightest. his eyes trained on it, but everything else completely frozen.

for a second, you think all the efforts is gonna go to waste because the prince won't listen, but much to your surprise, he starts talking.

"my father and everyone around me would always say i was the best fighter in the entire kingdom; that i was one of a kind, gifted from a young age, and the future of utopia. i used to believe that as well, but what kind of prick can't even save his own father?"

a small gasp fall, fussing under your breath, "san..."

"maybe i'm only as great because i had the access and materials to become great. but in actuality, i would be no more than average in any other scenarios."

"san, you are great. hongjoong said you are, and you even fought off minjun. it's not your fault what happened to your father," determination in your delivery, finding yourself oddly caring for someone you barely knew.

"father did always lived every day as if it was his last. he knew everyone was out to get him..." he fidgets with one of the breads before taking a small bite out of it. "i thought it would make me feel better if i caught his killer, but i really don't feel any different."

"so hongjoong was right. you knew about the attack?"

you watch as he ogles at the piece of bread like it's the most interesting thing in the world, noddling lightly and taking another bite.

"somewhat, yeah. i was the one who found my father's body, and you can imagine… it's not easy for any kid to see their own parent blue in the face, lying lifeless in front of them, and especially knowing their murderer got away. it made me vengeful, but i couldn't act recklessly. i had to set up a bait because i didn't know who it was, but i knew they were coming."

you listen to each of his words so attentively, and you make sure he knows.

"it could've been your friend, jongho, or the others that came along. it could be anyone. it could be all of them. but regardless, whoever it was wanted me dead just like my father and wouldn't have passed up the chance."

you exhale, looking at the prince with sympathy and sadness in your eyes, all this time you really gave him too little credits, one of your hand somehow finding itself on top his resting one and soothing it.

"i can't do much, but i'm here to listen. if we're going to be together for a while, we might as well have each other's back."

and when san finishes his food and actually goes to sleep for the rest of the night (although you did have to fight him about sleeping on the floor), you finally feel at ease, able to go to sleep knowing he's not pushing himself.

san is the first thing you see upon waking up, his figure bending down a couple feet away and drinking out of the costrel.

he knows you're up from the movements, turning to meet your tired eyes.

"good morning."

"good morning, san."

"you should eat first. i left some out for you."

"oh, okay."

you nod politely, throwing the blanket off and getting up from the makeshift bed, but first telling him that you're gonna go wash your face.

"i checked the ewer. there's no more water in there."

"hmm," you hum, attempting to come up with a solution. "i'm gonna go down to the river. i'll be back in a bit."

"wait." his call stops you in track, half your body out the door. "i'd like to come with."

"is that okay? i mean... will that be safe?" because now that the prince is with you, you feel it is your responsibility to keep him out of danger no matter how unskillful you are. you don't want a single sighting putting his life on the line (more than it already is).

"we'll make it quick. besides, i need to wash up as well. i don't feel too clean from all those practices."

the river is actually quite close by, having never been there during your stay in this district but following the sound of nature was relatively easy to do. and you suppose hongjoong chose the spot for this reason.

once there, you're splashing your face immediately and rejoicing in the cool sensation, only just registering san's been watching you the entire time when you turn and meet his piercing gaze.

his expression blank before dropping to a smile at your wide-eye. and the first time that he does, you realize you've never seen him smile, ever. your attention taken away by the deep indentations appearing from his cheeks, and for just a second, your heart feels like it might explode.

but it's his turn with the river, you observing as he mimics you until both your faces are wet and raining with droplets.

"here," you say, pulling out the spare handkerchief you had remember to bring before coming, offering it to him then using the other one for yourself.

he thanks you, about to wipe his face when the striking design catches his eye.

"this is beautiful," he comments, your head snapping his direction. "did you make it yourself?"

you nod shyly.

"i picked up embroidery somewhere after sewing for a while."

the conversation continues on the walk back, san asking the questions because he just grasped the revelation he doesn't know anything about you.

aside from trying to sneak into his castle and being the friend of one of his guards, that's as much as he can recall off the top of his head although you're quite literally in a life or death situation with him.

"you said you picked up embroidery, so are you from the second district?"

san knows almost everyone who lived in the first district, having spent his entire life and becoming familiar with the surrounding neighbors.

during the occasional balls and parties, he'd get acquainted with some from the second districts. but he's never seen you before. if he did, he would probably be able to recognize you.

but he knows that a hobby and skill like embroidery was something only those in the top two could afford. it was a luxury, as much as san hates putting it like that.

you giggle at the thought and shake your head.

"i was a servant for a family from the second, but i'm originally from the fifth. i picked up embroidery because the daughter of the family was pressured into learning and i was there to help sometimes."

"oh..." is all he says.

maybe he expected you to have some noble blood or be from greatness, but the only thing close to the two were the shoes you shined and the people you served.

your entire life, nothing about you was ever great or noble.

you may have ran from the lower district for a better life, but you were never ashamed of where you came from.

it made you who you are, and if anything, you're a survivor.

"yeah..." you mumble, stopping once reaching the shack again.

he picks it up from your tone, correcting himself to make sure you don't misunderstand, "no. i didn't mean it like that. i'm just, curious about you and your background."

"oh?" you squeak, "then what do you want to know, prince."

you take a seat where he was sitting before, reaching for the food he left for you and looking up at him from where you are, wondering what kind of prince would want to know about a commoner like you.

"an iris," he refers to the pattern embroidered on the handkerchief, "was there a reason why you chose it?"

you smile softly, the question taking you back to a lane of memories and nostalgia.

"it was both of my parents' favorite flower. they always did clung onto any sort of hope there was when it came to our living conditions, and father would always used to say the iris not only symbolized that, but also courage and bravery. i don't know how true that is, but i tend to associate the flower with my parents. it was all i managed to take when me and jongho ran from the second district."

"that's sweet," the prince says, making your eyelashes bat as he plops down at the end of the makeshift bed but he never once look away from you. "and where are your parents?"

the death of your parents was once something that was difficult to talk about; a reality that you used to deny because you couldn't accept that they're no longer by your side and sharing the same struggles. because you guys did suffered a lot, but you all had each other.

and suddenly, you only had yourself.

it wasn't until jongho that you started to open up again; learn to let someone into your heart; to share the same struggles and to suffer all over again, but at least with someone by your side once more.

and it's with that lesson that you allow the prince in as well, unveiling some parts of yourself, for some reason feeling like you can entrust it to him.

"they passed away. the fishermen said the sea took them. it's been a long time and i've come to terms with it."

you don't miss the way his chest fall and a sullen look takes over his expression.

"i'm sorry to hear."

his life experiences and pain could never compare to anyone from the lower districts, he understands that all too well; how good and privileged he's had it.

but grief doesn't discriminate, and the feeling is... debilitating.

it makes you go into denial, nothing but a directionless road laying ahead, unable to help but think if you ever will recover.

but he feels a little better after talking to you, a living proof that no matter the loss or grief one goes through, there's a chance he will make it out fine in the end.

--

you're about to go off to bed when you suddenly remember what hongjoong had told you.

"prince," you call from below, the title just naturally rolling off despite the plenty of time he's made clear you can call him by his name.

"we have to change the dressing on your wound."

you get up to go search through one of the heavy bags, digging for some clean linens and vinegar the others had made sure to pack for the prince.

"hongjoong said we should change it every couple of days," you tell him, sitting at the edge of the bed while he stands up from the sleeping position. "your arm, prince." you gesture and watch as he rolls up his sleeve.

your cheeks for some reason start heating up at the sight, the blinking and nervous twitch of your eyes give it away, causing a giggle to tumble out of the prince at your flustered reaction.

"y/n," he speaks, once you've stared for long enough and still have yet to remove the old cloth. "that's what jongho and hongjoong calls you by."

"y-yes." you nod.

"have you ever tend to a wound before?"

"well, no. but i've been instructed on how to."

"i see." he smiles, and you're about to crack at the man in front of you. beautiful smile, perfect features, and some muscular arms to go along with it.

once you've contained yourself (or at least look like it), you unwrap the worn cut-out cloth and replaces it with a new one, every steps of what hongjoong had laid out followed to the very best of your ability.

"thank you, y/n," the prince says one more time, and the last smile on him for the night makes you think he just might be teasing you.

the past few days that you've spent with the prince, he's proven your expectations and predictions wrong over and over again.

almost like everything you've assumed is untrue in the best way possible. his aloof and stoic ways melting into smiles and laughters when you'd tell him stories about the kids back at the orphanage and how they thought he was a troll.

spending days and nights confined to a small space with someone you just met, the idea sounding awful but the reality actually quite nice because it's comfortable with him.

he not only speaks well, his words always the most soft and unoffending as they can be, but he also listens well.

day by day, the doubts you had--whether he would be able to salvage utopia, changes to the hope and belief that he's more than competent to pull it off.

but there's still questions bothering you; the strangeness of the entire picture in how utopia managed to fall to a state this bad in the first place if the prince is as level-headed as he presents himself.

he at least should've been talking sense into the king.

so you finally ask, during a routine morning where you and san have gotten accustomed to waking up the crack of dawn, sitting facing each other and munching away on portions of food that becomes less the more days pass by.

"san," you start, his name now more comfortable on your lips. it makes him pick his up head from the food to you.

"hongjoong said you have a plan, right? the reason they sent you here was to buy time. i-i was just wondering where does it go from here?" you try your utmost best to not sound meddlesome.

you're just worried.

because as much as you enjoy the time together, the unknown makes you uneasy. you don't want to doubt him but you also don't want everything so far to be for nothing.

it's the prince's personal affairs and not yours, but you just wish for there to be assurances; some kind of proof that speaks he knows what he's doing, because the closer you get to him, the more you fear losing him.

"i have a plan, yes," he answers, the calm demeanor on him a complete contrast to the troubled one on you. "why? are you worried?"

you breathe out, eventually nodding timidly.

"it's just that the state of the kingdom right now is really bad and it's going to take a lot to please the citizens, especially the group of rebellions. the idea of peace just seems so... unreachable."

you already sound like you're about to break down, when the prince--the one actually having to deal with it, looks the most calm and collective.

he acknowledges the concern, thinking it's fairly reasonable. actually, he's surprise everyone's been able to restrain themselves from spiraling for this long.

if he was someone else, he don't think he'll be able to put his trust into an inexperienced prince in hope of him saving the entire nation as well.

"the people of utopia isn't aware, but about a decade ago, the king of aurora, the closest neighboring kingdom to us had offered to help the nation after witnessing the terrible conditions most of the lower districts were suffering from," san reveals, "but my father... he denied the help."

you squeeze your brows in disbelief.

"what--why?"

"the king of aurora only requested for utopia's protections and services in return. as you know, we may lack in every other aspects, but armed forces is our strength. almost every men in the nation has some kind of experience when it comes to fighting or self defense. aurora is a peaceful and harmonious nation, but their men do not have the same training, combats, or skills that we do, and the king of aurora acknowledged the fact. though aurora was very unlikely to get into an altercation with another nation, the king said he would feel a lot better with utopia behind them."

"my father didn't see a point in tying ourselves down, binding an 'unnecessary' responsibility to our back. he said our ancestors' done it for hundreds of years without help and it will continue to be that way. ever since then, aurora has shunned us. they're not gonna start a war over it, but in other words: they hate our guts."

there's a pause from the prince, something shifting in his eyes before he starts again.

"i love and cherish my father. he is my father after all, and most of everything i've been taught were from him. i also understand that some of the things he did were for my mother, me, and my sister. but i wouldn't ever tell him i also think he's selfish; that i disagree with his view of the world; with his way of running things."

the pain in the prince's voice and delivery is seeping, your heart curling at the amount of hurt he must keep to himself, but if you can be the one to lessen it just a little, you will listen to his every words.

"but still, he's my father and i miss him. no matter how selfish and unreasonable he was most of the times, i promise that after everything is over, i will hold a proper burial for him. i will also repay everyone that stood by my side... i promise that."

his volume tapers near the end, his gaze melting into yours at the last statement.

"i also promised i will correct the mistakes of those who came before me, and if it takes my life, at least i'll be content that i went down with my morals. that i fought for what i believed in, even if the ancestors come back to tear me to shreds for it."

you chuckle, attempting to hold back just the smallest tear pricking the corner of your eye because all you ever did was doubt and doubt, and every single time, he always proved you wrong in the best way possible.

"so you're going to attempt to make a truce with aurora?"

he nods.

"i have to try. if we want equality for everyone, we can't do it without the help of aurora. if we do it now, without aide, the nation will fall apart no different than it is now. no amount of transports based on utopia alone will be enough. but aurora's economy; the standing of their nation is stable enough that helping utopia back on its feet will barely feel like a lift of a finger to them."

"but how would the message reach them?"

"on the day that i got attacked, i sent out one of my men, seonghwa. he knows the way around the sea best. by now, considering it's almost been a week, he should have already reached aurora, but it will take another couple of days to return. that's why i need to buy enough time for seonghwa to come back. i know the citizens won't believe it until they see the king and prince yeosang of aurora for themselves."

"and just what if the king and prince rejects the offer?" you're just trying to touch upon all possibilities.

"you see... i've thought of that as well. in fact, there's probably a bigger chance of them dismissing it considering our history and all. but if that was the case, i had already told seonghwa to head for dune next. it will take him at least another week and a half because of the distance, but if worst come to worst, that's our last hope. dune would be a lot harder to get on our side because they're not lacking in anything, their only weakness is they don't have any kind of alliance. and i was hoping after we sign a treaty with aurora, we could try for dune because they'd be more willing then, knowing we also have aurora, but that's only wishful thinking."

"you really thought everything through, huh?" you have to admit, you're impressed.

"you have no idea. every night after my father's passing, i barely got any sleep... until you finally enforced it upon me."

you giggle, meeting a soft smile on the prince's lips.

"well you need it. and seeing as intricate the plan of action is, you're going to need it even more. don't overwork your body, get plenty of rest in preparation of the big day. i believe you'll be able to do it."

there's a quick silence in the air before the prince speaks again.

"thank you... for believing in me, and keeping me sane of all things."

"my pleasure."

"but if hongjoong doesn't show within a few days, or does with the bearer of the bad news, we'd have to be prepared for relocation. they will pick up that i'm not in the castle and will try looking for me. if dune is the alternative, we're going to have to buy even more time."

"here," san says, coming from behind to stand in front of you, pulling out his own.

after observing one of his practices, he had asked how familiar you are with daggers since he recalled ripping it out of your sheath that day.

you said all understanding you have of it were from jongho, though he liked to find fault in your execution, and after a couple demonstrations, the prince seems to agree that there's a few areas you could improve on.

"a dagger is a short distance combat. some of the most basic requirements in becoming somewhat skilled at is, is trying to master the three primary positions."

you watch him get into stance.

"the first one is a downward thrust, usually used for an opponent who's not experienced in knife combat."

he acts out the method, thrusting his weapon into the air and turning to you.

"you try."

you attempt to mimic what he just did, the weapon a lot light and easier on your grip because the training from jongho did pay off in some ways.

"not bad," he comments, "just more confidence, and don't be afraid. because trust, when the enemy is coming, they won't hold back."

he tightens your grip on the dagger before stepping away.

"this certain method can also be used when an opponent is equipped with another melee weapon, or a firearm."

you nod, his encouragement and gentle teaching style as he tries reframing from straight up saying you stink in some ways or forms, is definitely preferred.

"got it! you are a much better teacher than jongho by a mile. you're actually nice to me," you joke, and the most flattered smile acrossing san's lips doesn't go unseen.

--

you wouldn't ever say it out loud, not to the prince at least.

that though leaving the place and each other's presence will be for a good cause, in some parts of you, you're already starting to dread the separation.

the parts that already grew fond of him in such a short matter of time, you fear there will never be another chance like this. together.

after everything is over, things will go back to the way it was.

he is a prince after all, and you're just... you.

"so, prince, what is the best defense weapon. figure i should ask from only the most competent person in utopia," you talk from your seat, staring up at him as he preps for another hour of practice.

he promised it'll be only an hour today.

"pfft," he blows, "don't say it like that. you might end up unimpressed."

"i mean it."

"you haven't even seen me on the battlefield."

"but i believe in you."

you hop out of your seat to him, tilting your head, "so?"

"i would say a spear. distance is honestly the best defense there is, though i do enjoy practicing with a sword more."

and that's when it happens. all the long days and nights of peace and harmony comes crashing down, from the corner of your eye catching a cloaked figure from far away standing on top one of the hills with a crossbow in their possession.

"prince!" you cry out, pushing his body away from target the hardest ever as he falls to the ground, and then a short second after, the most painful sensation of your chest being struck takes your vision and breath away.

the last thing you see and hear before fading into utter blackness is the sheer horror on the prince's face as his hands are covered with blood, and the desperate call of your name.

"y/n!"

the sound of jongho's voice makes you think you're in a dream, only until your lids are fluttering open that you see the both, scared but relieved expression of your best friend.

"oh my gosh... thank goodness you're alive."

by how tight he's squeezing your hands, you're glad to know you're not dead just yet.

"where am i?" you ask, your voice barely a whisper.

"back at the castle. you were out for about four days."

"four days?" you repeat, when the memories come flooding back all at once and then some. "the prince."

you attempt to sit up but the dull pain from where you've been hit prevents you, your head falling back into the pillow.

"easy," jongho soothes your body back into position, "you lost a lot of blood, and not only that, the arrow had been poisoned. luckily, the castle has shelves of antidotes for it, but we were all worried that there was just the smallest chance you weren't gonna make it."

he pauses briefly, "the prince got you here in a day and a half... he felt really bad about what happened. he was by your side the entire time and only just left yesterday night when it was announced the king and prince of aurora have arrived."

"aurora have agreed to a truce?" your tone weak, but still filled with excitement, so happy for the prince.

"yes. and hopefully the prince can get them to sign a treaty. that's the plan. it's still going to take them another two or three days to reach the first district, but the prince wanted to go welcome them formally."

"will he be okay?"

"he's under disguise. but you should get some rest and stop worrying about someone else when you're in a worse condition than them," jongho snarks.

"just making sure..."

a smirk graces your friend, a coy look on him.

"what exactly happened back there that's now making you two act like an old married couple forced to be apart? i've known you for longer than the prince and he looked like he was in more distress than i was."

"nothing that is your business," you dismiss, hoping your cheeks doesn't tint a color that gives it away, a chuckle rolling out of jongho at that.

"you used to want to tell me everything. but fair enough. rest and wait until your body is fully healed. i'll visit you every day to update."

it's hard to wrap your head around the fact you didn't wake up for four days--which, more so, should've been the highlight, but you're more intrigued that the prince was by your side up until the last minute he had to go.

you don't want to get overly giddy about it; go beyond what's appropriate and assume that he did so because of another reason, and not just because he felt bad.

but you do wish to see him soon. even if just for a bit.

--

the next few days is a routine, usually consisting of jongho welcoming you with a wholesome breakfast that's more fulfilling than breads and dried meats, then another meal at dinner.

you're in bed for most of the time, your view usually the ceiling of the castle or the empty space around you, everyone busy and occupied now that the plan is becoming a reality.

jongho tries his best to visit you every day, and hongjoong on the occasion to check your condition, but if they're not patrolling outside, they're in halls discussing the next course of actions.

you've heard that the prince have returned just last night with the royals of aurora, not a single peace or quiet outside of your room since.

you can only hope that the loud and muffled voices outside is an indication that everything is going to work out for the prince; for the kingdom of utopia.

laying around in bed all day, only watching as the sun comes up and down as the wind sways the branches outside the window, wishing you could contribute more, if anything than just wait around all day feeling absolutely useless.

the first creak of the door ever since morning is heard, jongho having told you he won't be able to bring the next meal as he'd be out with the other guards but said someone else would.

and every time, no matter how hard you try burying the inappropriate sentiment, you wish it was the prince, even if just to see him for a minute.

you haven't seen him since that day.

but still, you're grateful to have any interactions at all. even if it's not the prince.

"hey," hongjoong greets, a thin smile on as he goes to take a seat on the stool facing the bed.

"hey hongjoong," you return, finally able to sit up without feeling like your gut's about to spill out.

"you doing better?"

you nod.

"a lot better compared to before."

"good. thought i should drop by to let you know about what's going to happen the next couple of days," his voice a deeper, stern tone, "the prince and royals of aurora will be going down the districts, one by one. the prince wants to let everyone know of the upcoming changes and fix that he has in plan. me and jongho will be away, but yunho and the rest of the guards will stay in the castle with the queen, the princess, and you."

"and how long are you guys going to be gone?"

hongjoong shrugs. "really depends. it could be a week, it could be more than that. traveling down to the fifth and coming back up here is gonna be a while. but as quick as possible, i hope."

"okay..." you frown. "just, stay safe."

you care for their safety and wellbeings more than anything. all three people of whom you're most familiar with, going off and risking their lives again. you're going to feel a certain type of way about it.

but they're doing it for a good cause. for the nation. for everyone. and so you allow to put your heart at rest just a little bit.

"don't worry. aurora brought some protections as well, and if we can convince the second district now overrun by outlaws, the rest of them should be easy."

hongjoong leaves after some last words of encouragment, and him wishing you a fast healing process.

later that night, they all left for the lower districts as stated.

--

the castle grows increasingly quiet, all ruckus from before now dwindled down to almost nothing.

the guards are usually busy patrolling outside, even more now that the prince is out, and the only people that seems to actually be around are the queen and princess.

the princess is the one to bring your meals, and you feel awful about the fact when it should be the other way around.

but she is wonderful. soft-spoken, elegant in her manners, and always with a smile on her face although you know it's not easy for anyone, especially what she's going through.

she bears almost no resemblance to san, but there's still some tell-tale features, like their eyes. the same foxy and slanted characteristic trademark on both siblings that looks so mellow on the princess, but entirely menacing on the prince.

"your tea."

the soft call of her voice would get you up from bed immediately, scooting over to thank her as you two meet eyes.

once you start feeling a lot better, able to stand on your feet and support yourself fully, you stroll the garden with the princess as she reminisce about everything crossing both of your path.

"i, too, wanted to be trained in weapons and self defense, but father said it wasn't suitable for someone like me. he would always take me out to the garden instead, in hope i'd develop a liking for it just so he didn't have to deal with the persistence. and i did... i did blossomed a love for gardening."

you scowl at the revelation.

"well, that's not right."

"it's not, but it was my father's order. he was a stubborn man and didn't like to listen to anyone. i wish i could say i saw anything else for father's ending."

both the prince and princess seems to share a mutual feeling regarding the father figure. though they understand the deeply flawed king, it's hard and conflicting when it's your own father.

"brother taught me what he could, which wasn't always possible because father was always around. but san is a good person... despite the amount of pressure father put on him, i believe he would be a great king. better than father himself."

a smile cross your lips at the mention of san.

"i believe he would be a great king, too," you add. you know he will be, and you wish for nothing more than all his dreams to come true.

"brother san seems to have taken a great liking to you," the princess brings up, recalling the signs and body language of her younger brother when he was with you despite your sleeping state and lack of awareness.

an act of affection and fondness she has never seen the prince give anyone before. not even the noble daughters that would show for events.

"oh, no," you deny, shaking your head, but the way your stomach swoops at the statement is real.

"why not?" she tilts her head, a brow raising. "do you not like him?"

"no--i mean, i do. i like the prince as a friend, but anything more than that would be innappropriate, i think." your volume tapers and your eyes shy away from hers, but the soft giggle makes you snap back.

"love is a beautiful thing. you shouldn't run from it, no matter the class difference or adversities. i know my brother wouldn't."

she smiles and pat your shoulder, abruptly taking your hand and leading the way out of the garden.

"so tell me, did you know that the kingdom didn't used to be divided into districts?"

you hum from behind, "actually, i do. i read it in an old history book i found back at the orphanage."

the kingdom used to just be utopia as a whole. no divisions of anything or labels to anyone. but when the capital found out they could cheat the system and hog all resources and supplies by dividing up the nation, the district system was implemented.

and those who lived furthest from the capital suffered the worst due to change, which was why the fifth district, a once fine ground for fishermen and access to the sea, declined overtime due to the lack of available care.

"yes," she mumbles, letting go of your hand and turning around, your feet screeching with the sudden stop. "brother wishes to abolish the system, after mostly everything gets taken care of, of course. by then, none of this 'social class' would matter as much."

you know she means it from the good of her heart; soul just as kind as her brother, but it is not only the struggle of being a fifth district kid, but also the reality of being a no one as compared to a prince.

--

you get accustomed to the newer routine, waking up the crack of dawn to go help the princess prepare breakfast the best your healing body can. just the smallest, throbbing pinch still there when you sit up, but you're fine nonetheless.

the morning when the sun hasn't even shown its head yet, your body still tired and mind hazy, the opening of the door gets a silent groan out of you as you turn to the source expecting the princess to have something for you so early.

but the sight jolts you from sleep, and you know that it's him, even in the faintest lighting.

"good morning," his voice like velvet has you sitting up, your gaze trained on him the entire time he goes to take a seat at the stool.

"good morning, prince," you return, the smallest amount of joy hiding in your delivery because you really are so happy to see him again.

he went back to the princely attire coloured in white, and his hair a slicked back kind that makes him so handsome, although some strands are loose and slightly messy from the many days gone by.

"san," he corrects you, the sound of his actual name so much better when you say it.

"san," you repeat, a short giggle after that he joins along. "so you're back already. how did it go?"

your expression changing to stern that instant, if you stare at him any longer, you might just burn a hole from how serious you are.

"a lot better than i expected," he answers, a thin smile on as he scoots closer. "i really owe it to the king and prince of aurora. if they hadn't took pity in me, i don't know what else i would've done. but for some reason, they chose to believe in me, and i really am so grateful for that."

he must've been so scared but unwilling to show it. unwilling to give away the fear that the kingdom in his hand is so close to crumbling down by a mere inch, everything could fall apart just like that.

but he had to persist through the hardships and doubts; masking any weaknesses because it would scare away the people if he did. if the ruler of the kingdom itself barely has any faith in the situation.

you reach for his hand, the stronge urge to comfort him as the soft look on you melt into his.

"san, they believe in you because they can see that you're capable. and i believe as well, that you from now on, you will make utopia a better place for the people."

he thinks that you always have such a way with words; how they always make him feel so warm and at ease every time. it's never felt so easy with anyone before.

"y/n," he calls almost in a whisper, taking his hands out of your grasp to now enclose yours. "i apologize for not visiting you. but as soon as i returned and had cleared everyhing with the royals of aurora, i came to you immediately."

"no. it's okay. you have a duty as the prince of the nation, i totally understand. there's no need to apologize."

you can feel his grip on you getting tighter, his eyes a type of desperate but also affectionate.

"but still, you saved my life. you traded yours for mine. to me, you're just as important."

you're surprise by the confession, an array of butterflies dancing in the pit of your stomach and you can see the prince growing more tense, but nonetheless, he persists.

"before i go any further, can i ask you one question first?"

you nod at that. "go ahead."

"you and jongho..." he starts, only to thin out before trying again, "are you guys... dating? or, well, do you like him?"

he's nervous and if he wasn't holding you, he would probably start fidgeting to hide the fact.

"me and jongho?" you quirk an eyebrow, failing to hold back the snicker from the thought while the prince just stares dumbfoundedly.

"i love jongho, but he's more like family than anything. we've been through a lot together but i can't see him in that light."

you've given similar answers out a couple times, especially to the other servants who thought you both had a crush on each other.

the prince's chest drop in relief and you can't hide the amusement you get from it.

"what? you thought me and jongho had something?" you can't stop giggling.

"well, i just had to make sure," he says, a hint of embarrassed and shy that is incredibly cute.

he wouldn't tell you that the one time he actually decided to come in the midst of everything, jongho was already by your side and if you didn't look so happy, he wouldn't have went back because he could tell jongho is someone special to you.

"so?" you await what he has to say, the eagerness only making him more nervous.

the grip on you loosening up to a more softer but more intimate one, one of his thumb running over your hand before he speaks.

"i know this might be too sudden and we haven't known each other for long, but, if your heart isn't taken by anyone, i'd like to ask for a vow."

you just stare ahead and wait for him to finish the sentence, your heart beating exceptionally loud.

"i understand it's a bit abrupt, but... i-i've never felt this way with anybody else. there's something special when i'm you, and i'd like to ask for a vow; a promise that we'll reserve our hearts for each other."

he's so scared, willing to take the chance at first because he will regret it if he doesn't. but now, he's afraid he might've ruined whatever he had with you in the first place, retracting immediately when there's only silence from you.

"but it's not an obligation. you don't have to. i'm just--"

"--i would love to," you cut, watching the panic on his face dissipate that instant.

"really?"

"yes. i would love to," you assure once again, the thinnest smile crossing your lips that soon turns bigger when he returns one.

he's absolutely over the moon to know the feeling is mutual; that what he felt and got from the time together wasn't just because you were compelled to treat him equal to his title.

that something more came out of it.

"but..." you mumble, the smile fading when reality sets in again. "is this going to be okay? you're a prince, and i'm just... me."

"of course it's going to be okay. i don't care who or what you are," he comforts, delivery incredibly passionate, you can't fight it. "but more importantly, before you give me your words once and for all, i need to know if you'll be okay with the conditions first. you can be honest. i won't be upset because i would never try to hold you back regarding anything."

"i'm listening," you acknowledge.

"the citizens of utopia have decided to give me a chance. that chance is not only to salvage the nation, but to also prove to them that i'm capable of leading and won't repeat the same mistakes those who came before we did. i don't know how long it's going to take; specifically how many years. but i will crack down on any remaining harmful outlaw members, i will be traveling in and out of the kingdom a lot, and i will be working on making this nation a better place for everyone. that is something i promised to do, and i will do just that."

he takes a deep breath and start again, eyes on yours. "so if you don't want to wait, i won't hold it against you. if there's things or someone better out there waiting for you, you don't have to accept my proposal. but just if you do... if you're willing to wait for me, once the nation is in a stable state and i don't have to stress too much about being all over the place, i promise then, that i will ask for your hand in marriage."

the bold declaration does take you by surprise, hard to grasp that the prince of all people would want to marry you.

"i know it's a lot to take in," he says, "but you don't have to give me an answer now. whenever you're ready."

you shake your head.

"no--i mean, i would love to. no matter how long i have to wait, i think it'll be worth it. after all, the nation is your priority and the people needs you."

he's taken aback by how fast you made up your mind, but overjoy that you want it just as much as he does. he can't be any happier.

"you're sure you want to do this?" he asks again just to be sure, but crossing his fingers you don't just so happen to change your mind.

you nod earnestly.

"i'm sure. besides, i doubt any guy would ever be interested in me let alone want to get married."

he chuckles, a sound you can to listen all day.

"even if they are, they can't get you now. so i don't want to see any of them trying to woo you or something. and you can't give in because you already gave me your words."

it's your turn to laugh, the jealousy endearing on him.

"well how would i know you'll keep your words, too? what if i wait and wait until i'm a grandma with grey hair only for you to take it back? marry someone else instead and say you don't want me anymore?" you tease.

"tskk," he sneer, "that won't happen, because i would never promise anything i knew i couldn't do. so you don't have to worry."

a reassuring smile spreads across his lips as so does yours, seconds passing by when the silence consumes the room and the both of you just stare at each other, completely smitten.

you notice the slightly fallen strands covering his eyes, going to move it with your finger but your hand stopping at his cheek after, a staring contest ensuing before something comes over you, leaning over to deliver a kiss to his other cheek.

when you pull back, the shy and flustered reaction of the prince brings another giggle out from you.

"i believe you, then. go and show everyone that they made the right choice in giving you a chance. go and make the nation a better place for the citizens. no matter how long, when you come back, i'll be right here... for you."

age 20:

you're twenty years old when the district system is abolished, and when you're nearing twenty-one, it will have been a year since you've spoken to the prince, and will be a few months that you've last seen jongho.

he had been given an opportunity to stay at the castle as one of the prince's permanent companions and took it.

as for you, you moved back to what used to be the fifth district, your heart and soul still full of regard for the place no matter how far you run because every last memory of your parents are rooted here.

you didn't want and couldn't ask for anything in return for the loyalty to the royal family during their toughest time, only taking the coins they had kindly insisted on giving and proceeded to find somewhere to settle. make a life for yourself.

the first few months after declaration of adjustments were as tough for anyone else as it was for you. no matter how positive of an effect, changes are always difficult.

the nobles having to reclaim their homes again after migrating from fear of the outlaws; the party finally retreating, and the former having to piece everything back together with the thought in mind that everything won't be the same, but it will be fair.

the lower districts benefitting the most from the changes but time is their biggest adversary, because though good things are coming, they're not going to come in an instant. having to wait days, months, years, for the full glory to show can be defeating.

but nevertheless, it's coming, and tomorrow will be better than yesterday and so forth. a year later and you can already notice the difference, especially the sea that once gave up on the nation ready to ripple once more.

where you're currently at, you couldn't have done it without the help of those around you. hongjoong who gave you full rights to his hideout in the fifth district because he won't have the use for it anymore, having also been promoted to work alongside the prince.

and with the coins the royal family gave you, you put it into materials to hone the skill you're best at, now finally making a living off sewing and embroidery.

over the year, you've renovated the small shack to your liking with the knowledge you carried from your father, building something for yourself you can call home.

you can still recall that feeling; the first sinking realization of being alone and the taste of freedom. you no longer belonged to somebody or owed anything to anyone. no longer the poor kid just waiting for a better life.

you were your own person, and it feels amazing to be free, though you think it would be even better if he was there.

the thought of him crossing your mind every couple of days, wishing for nothing but only the best for him, hopeful that one day, he will return to fulfill the promise.

"those are some fine handkerchiefs you have there," a young man's voice stops you, spinning around to greet him with a smile.

"you crafted them yourself?" he asks, his tone a type of mischievious that you don't even read into.

"yes," you simply reply, always putting on your best behavior when there's a possible customer. "would you like to take a look at them for yourself?"

"i'd love to."

you untangle the basket from your arm and start going through the many fabrics of your creation.

"wow. not only is the creator herself beautiful, but so are the creations. i've never seen these kind of patterns before," he comments, a smirk on that is both amused and flirty, you can't help the way your cheeks immediately reddens.

the man only seems to find the sight even more endearing as a snicker bubbles out of him while you're still just standing there because you've never met someone so shameless before.

you're about to say something when an arm is thrown around your shoulders instead, turning to the source and your body an immediate mix of relieved, joy, and a skipping heartbeat.

"san..." you say by natural instinct, his unreadable expression meeting yours before moving to the young man in front.

"i'm sorry, i told her to not go wandering by herself but she wouldn't listen. let's go back, honey."

he snatches the basket out of your hold with his other hand and hauls you back the other way.

"i've only been gone for a year and you're already flirting with another man?" he accuses once you're able to flee from his clutch, his steps following right behind you as a pout overtakes his face.

"i wasn't flirting. i was trying to make money," you weakly defend, focus on the path back to your place that you believe the word 'cottage' would be more fitting for.

"you're way too beautiful and talented to be out there spending your days talking to young men."

"pfft," you blow, "and you're way too handsome and princely to be traveling everywhere and going to other kingdoms in the presence of other noble and royal daughters."

"and i'd still choose you, baby."

your heels dig the dirt flooring, snapping around from the pet name, a laughter at the verge of coming out.

san can see the amusement on your face, only smirking in response.

"what? i know you like being called that."

this time, you really do laugh and he follows right after, absolutely in love with everything about you. whether that's snarking back or laughing at him.

"whatever you say, prince," you poke more fun at him before dragging him by the wrist into your place.

"cute what you've done," he pass a comment while you put the basket away.

"yes. and i have just about everything i need."

it's just a little bigger than the hideout back at what used to be the third district, but it has the same convenience in that it's close to the river, cutting out trips to the bathhouse which saves a lot of time.

he nods, the dimpled smile never leaving his face.

"so... what brings you here?" you eventually ask, sitting next to him on your bed, the atmosphere shifting because despite enjoying the banter and mischief of it all, you miss him and haven't seen him in over a year.

"we just returned and arrived at the port this morning, so i wanted to come visit and see how you're doing. you know, to make sure no one was trying to sweep you off by your feet."

you playfully land a slap to his shoulder, snickering.

"you're ridiculous. all year long and my love life is so dry, but the one day someone acknowledges me, you just have to come back," you reply with sarcasm.

"i'm sorry to ruin that for you, but you can't take it back. you promised to marry me, and i will make sure every guy in the kingdom knows that."

you remember the first time meeting san, his state of grief making him almost an entirely different person. quiet, stoic, and always in distress, it's the most wonderful surprise that he's actually a child at heart.

able to let loose once in a while and just have fun.

"no need to. you won't have any competitions at all."

he chuckles quietly at that and closes any remaining distance between you two.

"you speak too lowly of yourself when you're the most beautiful girl i've ever seen."

you bat your eyelashes, shying away from his gaze. you just blush way too easy.

he chuckles at the sight and moves the subject along, "but i also came because i have good news. the king and prince mingi of dune have agreed to a treaty."

"really? t-that's great!" you stumble your wording, beyond happy for him because this was everything he wanted and planned for.

"yeah. it wasn't easy but the fact we have aurora did most of the convincing. dune was... interesting to say the least," he says, briefly recalling the month he spent at the kingdom.

"you did it, though" you smile. "it's only going to get better from now on."

"i hope so. but it seems the real challenge just began. this place is going to need a lot of work."

"that, it is. but for now, you just need to relax. rest a little and eat if you already haven't. i can make you some soup, would you like that?"

he nods.

"i would love that."

he loves how comfortale and easy it is with you. when the weight on his shoulders gets too heavy, he can always rely on you to make it better, even if just for a bit.

--

"so where do i sleep?" he asks, walking back in after washing himself by the river with the towel you gave him.

the day had been nothing short of a dream, eating and cleaning together and just small exchanges that multiplies the butterflies in your stomach.

you wish everyday was like this.

"the floor," you joke, the response making him scowl.

"i'm carrying the nation on my back and you're gonna make me sleep on the floor?" he throws the towel over his shoulder, his wet strands of hair swaying along with his movements.

"that bed looks big enough for the two of us." he points with his chin. "besides, we're gonna get married anyways."

you roll your eyes, snatching the towel from him as you go to ruffle his wet hair with it, his shout of protests underneath coming out muffled.

"fine." you land the fabric back around his neck, crawling into bed and scooting to the wall to make space.

he lays down and faces you, your gaze burning into each other's when he cranks out a smile.

"i'll be leaving in the morning and you might not see me again for a while after. don't you think you should give me something to remember you by?"

your brows furrow, your mind jumping to conclusion considering the position you guys are in and the tone in which he said it.

"i'm not gonna have sex with you," you spit, prompting the loudest laughter ever from him, followed by confusion from you.

"no, of course not. i was talking about another of your handkerchiefs."

"oh..." you murmur, feeling embarrassed.

"not until we get married at least. then, we can do it," he states with confidence, the thought of taking you to bed and inserting control another way is tempting, and he can't wait for the day.

you smack his chest lightly, as flustered as you are, you can't help the giggle that slips out.

a few seconds of silence pass by before he starts moving closer, his breath ghosting your skin and finger going to caress your cheek.

"i really do want to kiss you right now, though," he confess, "if that's okay with you."

you nod as much as your pillowed head allows you to.

"that's okay with me."

you close your eyes shut, trying to keep from flinching as you await his kiss, moments later only for his lips to crash against yours, his hand moving to your jaw and his body pressing forward as the kiss deepens.

you kiss him like it's the last kiss between you and him; like your life depends on it, the bed creaking under as he takes it upon himself to connect your bodies.

he pulls back much to your disappointment, both of your chests heaving and trying to catch your breath, his forehead bumped with yours and tip of his nose brushing your own.

"good enough," he speaks, his breath still not yet returned, "any more than this and i might not be able to contain myself."

you giggle, placing a soft peck on his cheek, flashing one last smile.

"goodnight, prince."

--

"have a safe trip, and take care of yourself," you bless, blue in your heart as san makes his way back to you after speaking to the coachman.

all the laughters and butterflies of yesterday won't be experienced again until who knows how long. he will be away after this, and you will miss him dearly.

you wish he could stay but you know he can't. he has something bigger and better to worry about.

he stops before you, melancholy in his eyes as well. he doesn't want to leave you but he has to. and as much as he wants to take you along, he can't let you bear the same responsibilities and weight.

he wants for you to be there, when he already made everything better.

"you take care of yourself, too." his hands naturally finding itself cupping your cheeks. "don't overwork yourself."

"i won't."

you place your own hands over his, desperate to salvage his touch for one last time.

"when can i expect to see you again?" you ask.

"i don't have a definite answer, but i'll be back. i promise."

you two share one last kiss before you watch him go off, blue still in your heart, but you know that someday, he'll come back, and it will be to stay.

age 23:

you're twenty-three years old when there's a knock at the door one suspicious morning.

living in the middle of nowhere, and even over the years, you're only able to count on one hand the range of selection there is when it comes to who it could be.

"hongjoong?" you squint, the man you haven't seen in forever looking slightly more buffed; mature, his hair styled and attire new and shiny.

"great seeing you again," he greets, still on horseback and glancing down at you.

"would you like to come inside? for some tea or a drink?" you ask, figuring it's only proper etiquette you do.

"i'm good. i only came to deliver something."

you continue squinting, one hand shielding your eyes from the early sun, reaching out when hongjoong hands you a letter and unfolding it.

"an invitation from the prince?" you read, incredulity as you shoot up to look at him.

"yes. the prince is finally accepting his accession to king and the coronation will be held a week from now. that is all i have for today. i have to head back soon."

you have so many more questions but hongjoong already turns his back before you can ask them, settling for staring at the ink in awe when the sound of his voice picks your head up again.

"i hope to see you there. the prince will be expecting you."

--

you leave for the capital the following day, packing only essentials and enough coins, taking along pearl, the white horse you had purchased a year back for traveling purposes.

there's been a lot changes in the four years since san took the reign, all of them for the better, of course.

some of the homes have been revamped, some new ones added, and everywhere you passed, there are greens and beauty in each sceneries.

the citizens look happier, kids a lot less miserable and even those in the orphanages are coming around to the new implements along with those in progress to solve overcrowding.

members of the outlaws have dwindled over time and quieted.

for the first time in hundreds of years, utopia is able to live up to its name in some form; a place of ideal perfection.

so you couldn't fret too much; be upset that in the three years that have passed, san's only visited you once. because if it wasn't for him, the nation wouldn't have been able to achieve the current state.

you travel to the capital with hope, expectation, and excitement at the fact you will be seeing him again; a strong belief that everything will feel just the same as last time.

you stop at inns to rest when the nights fall and start again at dawn, reaching the destination in five days total, the day before san's coronation.

there isn't any difference to the castle, not even a bit. a touch of nostalgia hitting you when thinking back to the event four years ago.

entrance is easy to get through, showing both of the guards who seems to recognize you, the letter.

tying your horse to the nearest tree, you proceed to the door with a pounding heart, banging on it twice before the castle door creaks from the other side, absolutely no idea who the person could be.

"y/n!"

your eyes widen at the sight, that nervousness replaced by delight.

"jongho!"

before he can get another word out, you're already in his arms, the warmth of your best friend something you missed greatly in the full year you haven't seen him.

you can him hear giggling in your hair, pulling away to that goofy smile of his as one settles on your lips as well.

"you came," he simply says.

"of course i did."

jongho takes you inside, your nosy eyes wandering the interior that's also the same as before but still dazzling with all its history, cracks in some of the wall, and antiques.

you greet the queen and the princess who only gets more beautiful by the years, them welcoming you with warm smiles and you can tell immediately the new changes other than their appearances.

they sound happier; no other burdens or weight pulling them down, carrying it around like a haunting that won't go away.

you walk around the courtyard with jongho after, finally a time and place to catch up. all those time of being with each other, you didn't think you could survive if he wasn't by your side, but to have gone four long years only seeing him once in a blue moon, you'd say that's some character development.

"how are things here for you?" you ask him, walking alongside shoulder to shoulder.

"amazing," he answers almost instantly, "it's crazy. i never thought i'd get the chance to work in the capital, but the royal family's castle? with the prince? it's everything i've ever wanted."

you can't stop smiling, his tone telling of just how much he means what he just said.

"that's great. i'm happy for you. you did always say you wanted all those training to go into something."

he nods.

"and you? how are things down there?"

"much better. it's coming together. the people's the most tame i've ever seen them."

jongho hums in acknowledgement.

"i heard you're going to become queen," he suddenly brings up, and you almost choke in return.

"and who the hell said that?"

"--i did."

the familiar voice that isn't jongho makes the both of you turn around, your stomach dropping and heart palpitating because you know all too well who it belongs to.

you can only stare breathless as he takes a step closer, your throat dry.

he's just as mesmerizing as you remember but like hongjoong, time have passed and he has gotten more bulky, manly, and handsome if that's even possible.

"i'm glad to see you can come," he mumbles, a charming smile on that render your knees weak.

jongho clears his throat, attempting to hide a smirk as he goes to excuse himself politely and walks back inside, leaving you stranded in the presence of san.

everything still feels the same with him.

"yeah. i got the letter," you reply, glancing around the empty area, "though it seems i might have gotten a tad excited."

he snickers, and oh... how you have missed the sound.

"you're the only one i gave a personal invitation to," he unveils.

"oh." your eyes swell, only to break the tension after. "then i guess i'm special."

"you are," he assures, closing the distance and taking one of your hand. "i have promised you that once utopia is stable enough, i will ask for your hand in marriage."

you watch as he goes to pull something out of the pocket of his suit, one of his knees pointed to the ground, his entire body falling with it.

"and now that i've finally reached that goal... y/n, will you marry me?"

it takes a moment for you to process everything, overwhelmed with joy and happiness before you can properly nod.

"yes. of course."

and he will marry you, after the rise to king and acceptance of his title as the ruler of utopia, keeping the promise just as he did to every others.

permanent taglist: @moonchele

a/n: not me talking shit abt wanting broken era to be over only to go & write a 19k oneshot. but i loved writing this & had a lot of fun bc it was v different from what i'd usually write

[sage-green-matcha]

Hi, doll!

Sorry to disturb you, but I had an idea for a request if that's okay! 💖

So, ethan landry x reader who was involved in the woodsboro massacre in 2022, and moved to nyc as anika's roommate, and ethan had an obsession with her and when they eventually get together, she stays at his and finds a gf mask, knife and costume in his closet, and she confronts him. You can choose the ending!

Sorry if I disturbed you, I love your writing 💗💗

FRIEND - ETHAN LANDRY 🫧

“And I hate the way you love me and I hate that I still care. Funny how you feel like we would ever talk again, how could you think I'd be your friend?” - Gracie Abrams 

Content includes: gf!Ethan, Betrayal, angst, Halloween party! Mentions of blood!

A/n: I was listening to this song and realized how well it matched with this request! This is a bit fast paced so I’m sorry! I didn’t want it to be too long 😭🫶

<3

<3

<3

"Anika! What are you wearing to the Halloween party?" Your voice echoed through the walkway of your dorm, Anika peeking out of the bathroom.

"A pumpkin!"

You cringed as you looked at the basic, green cheerleader outfit laid on your bed. You just sighed, slipping the tight green set over your body.

You rarely went to parties, but Chad insisted he had someone he wanted you to meet. He didn't leave you alone until you finally said yes.

And you knew he'd show up at your door with the rando if you didn't show up.

"Is it giving the girl from murder party?" You asked as Anika peeked in your door, watching you apply a bold color to your lips.

"Yeah! Just make yourself a zombie"

As soon as you got to the house everyone went their separate ways. Your lipstick rubbed on the side of your red cup, smooth liquor running down your throat.

"Y/n! Hey!" Tara slipped her arm under you, balancing herself on your body.

"Well, you're fucked" You chuckled under your breath. She just shook her head, readjusting her bandana.

"Is Sam here?" You should've known better than to ask a dumb question like that. Sam would never be caught at a house party, especially not after what happened last year.

"No, never" She poured herself a shot, pulling away from you before she waved, walking away with a smile.

You wandered around the house for a while, mostly trying to find the bathroom to fix your hair.

The air was hot and you could feel yourself start to sweat, getting slightly frustrated as you walked.

You passed through the heavily crowded hallway, your costume getting stuck on someone else's.

"Oh shit, sorry about that"

A pair of hands tugged on the green fabric of your skirt, unsticking it from a sharp piece of cardboard and tape.

"Oh shit, you're Ethan right?"

He smiled at your words, nodding his head.

"Nice costume, Guess we're matching"

"What a coincidence"

But it wasn't a coincidence. Ethan knew what you were gonna dress up as. He had known for days, since the first time you went to the costume store just hours before this. When you were slipping the costume on.

He had been stalking you for weeks. Since the semester started he got closer to Chad just to get closer to you. This was just the first step in a master plan.

"So you two finally met! And you're wearing nerd costumes, great" Chad sighed as he rubbed his temples, hitting Ethan harshly on his back.

"This isn't a nerdy costume" You rolled your eyes as Ethan nodded, smiling to himself while trying to hold in his anger.

Every time he was with Chad it was like a ticking bomb. He was so excited to kill him. To get revenge and to take you away from him. Since Chad definitely had a little something for you.

He tried his best not to show how jealous he was when Chad wrapped his arm around you, dragging you to the kitchen to take shots.

You looked back at Ethan with a small smile, his heart beating faster as he waved at you.

For the next week, it felt like all you did was talk to Ethan. You would call for hours despite only having met him once before.

Ethan was excited, the plan was going better than he could've ever imagined.

The two of you shared a lot of similar interests, sure Ethan knew a lot of them already but he was surprised to see you enjoyed other things he enjoyed as well.

Your relationship slowly started to grow, becoming more than just friends after a while.

"Okay, that's enough" Mindy cringed as Ethan squeezed your waist, his smile pressed up to your neck.

"We might die and you two are basically fucking in front of all of us"

"We never say anything about you and Ani!" You furrowed your eyebrows, Mindy continuously shaking her head.

The night ended and you and Ethan were put on cleaning duty, and since you were such a good girlfriend you decided to clean his room for him.

It was always messy, with snack wrappers and empty water bottles covering his nightstand.

You dragged the trash can Into his room, handfuls of trash into the can.

"God Eth, your rooms a mess" You mumbled under your breath, shaking off his bedsheets.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you spotted a thin black cloth peeking from under his bed.

At first, you thought it was probably just a hoodie or something, but when you pulled it out you were more than wrong.

Your fingertips were stained with fresh blood, wiping it quickly on your jeans. The more you looked underneath the bed the more you found.

You finally screamed when you found a poorly cleaned knife in a ghost face mask, dropping the items in horror.

"Really, Y/n?" He sighed at the sight in front of him, your eyes blurry with tears.

"What is that Ethan? Why do you have that?"

"You weren't supposed to find out Y/n. I'm sorry, I really am"

You were confused at his words, backing up slowly until your body made a small thud against the wall.

"Are you gonna kill me?" Your voice hitched as he went to grab the knife on the ground, his finger gently tracing the blade of the weapon.

"I would literally never hurt you, Y/n. I'm protecting you. And I have been for months now"

His tone was distorted, getting more and more defensive with each step he took towards you.

You couldn't believe this was happening to you again. And the fact that Ethan was the one behind all of it broke your heart.

"It was innocent at first. But you were just so stubborn weren't you? Had to do some more research and find out what you were gonna be for Halloween"

You gulped, knowing the only person who knew your costume was Anika.

"You were stalking me?" You weren't crying anymore, instead you were angry.

You were so tired of the ghost face shit following you everywhere you went.

You showed him your stab wounds, not knowing he was probably gonna try to stab you right there again.

"It was Innocent...Y/n, please. I love you"

Your eyebrows furrowed, a scoff escaping your lips.

"You really think I'm still gonna be with you after this? Ethan, I'm not a criminal. I'm not like you. You were probably gonna kill me next! What is wrong with you? Why are you doing this?"

He gulped, tears forming in his eyes. He needed to cry, it was the only way to make you feel pity towards him.

But he should’ve known that would’ve never worked, especially not with you.

“Are you seriously fucking crying? Ethan, you’re a killer, you killed all those innocent people!”

Your lips quivered as you tried to hold back tears. You couldn’t cry, you needed him to know you weren’t scared. You were, but you only needed him to see your anger.

“That was my dad, it was Detective Bailey”

Your mouth dropped, rubbing your eyes as Ethan sat on the bed, sad while he watched you pacing around the room.

“You’re a fucking psychopath”

“But you love me” His words came out so confidently, your eyes giving him a stern and annoyed look.

But even under all of it Ethan could see the sadness and fear in your eyes, he knew he would get you back eventually. One way or another.

[fromasgardandback]

Rocker Mayfield - Part I

Eddie Munson x Mayfield!Reader

description: Y/N Mayfield moved back to Hawkins after their father left her to be with his new family. Living in the trailer park wasn’t bad, especially with an attractive neighbor.

word count: 1.6k

warning: divorce, abandonment, crappy relationships, fluff

a/n: i will be making this a mini-series. maybe 3-4 parts?

masterlist | oneshots

Hawkins, Indiana. The dreadful town in the middle of nowhere. Farmlands, hillbillies, and rich freaks who loved to tell you they were “popular”. I hated it here, but what else was I supposed to do? I’m in my senior year and refuse to not finish just to get a GED. I am Max Mayfield’s older sister and when she was just a toddler our parents split. Mom took Max and Dad took me, but I fought to spend the summers with Mom and Max. Every summer I did except for last summer which is how everything went down on both of our ends. Max dealing with underworld demons and me dealing with my own. I practically lived alone because of how much Dad was out. I took care of myself and learned to do it all. Until one day at the beginning of summer, right before I was about to leave for Hawkins, this young bimbo walked into our house. She looked like a hooker, a gold digger, and someone with major daddy issues. That summer I found out my father was living a whole lie apart from Max and me. He created this whole other family, and by “family” it was Dad, this bimbo, and two dogs. I won’t lie, I contemplated taking the dogs. He told me to get out and move back in with our Mom. All summer I packed everything I owned, black-mailed him into getting what I needed to take care of Max and me and left. I took the eleven-hour car trip from New York to Indiana. 

I pulled through the trailer park entrance, making my way to the one mobile home that I knew too well. Putting the car in park, I got out taking in the surroundings and awful smell. From the front window, I saw Max visibly happy to see me. She ran out before I could run to her and we both fell in a tight hug.

“Y/N. I missed you. Never leave me again.” Max mumbled into my neck.

“I missed you too, kid. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.” I smiled holding her closer.

Luckily the trailer was a two-bedroom trailer, so I shared one with Max while Mom got the other room. She worked long hours and late nights. Barely being home for Max, so being home is like I came for Max. Which I did, because if it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t have returned. The place still looked the same as the last time I was in it. Brown, brown, and oh yeah, more brown. Max set up a bed for me in the corner of her room while she took the other side. Part of me felt bad that she doesn’t have her own privacy anymore, but based on the late-night calls about her nightmares and night terrors, I know she wouldn’t mind. I set my things down and turned to sit on the bed.

“One perk of Dad bribing me to leave is that I got the car. So, wanna go for a drive? Get out of here and take a breather?” I said leaning back on my hands.

“Hell yeah.” Max sighed in relief. I knew she needed someone to support her and that is who I am going to be. Her main support while Mom was out supporting us. I took Max driving down farmlands and back roads that lead to a lake. I parked and we spent the night watching the sunset before heading home.

School started within the next week or so from my arrival. The feeling of going to Hawkins High made both of us physically sick. When the first day came we regretted getting out of bed. I pulled into the parking lot and looked over at Max. Her face went from upset to straight disgust.

“It’s going to be okay. I’m here with you the entire time. Find me and I’ll be there for you. Maybe find your friends? Dustin was the sweetest to you, he can give you some kind of comfort.” I said gently squeezing her hand. 

“Thanks, Y/N. I just want to get it over with and go home.” Max said, giving me a tight-lip smile. I knew this year was going to be harder on her than anyone, but if I could make some part of her day memorable, I will.

“Listen to your music. Remember to take breathers. And I love you!” I yelled at her walking towards the school and away from my car. She laughed, playfully flipping me off. I grabbed my bag, following her into school when this guy came out of nowhere and I bumped into him.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you.” I said picking up a pack of cigarettes and handing them back.

“No, it’s fine darling.” The voice said as our hands touched. That voice, I know that voice. It was familiar. I look up to see a curly, long-haired man with a metal look. Jeans, jean and leather jacket, a bandana, and a chain connected to his back pocket and belt loops. Only one kind of person in Hawkins looked like that

“Eddie?” I questioned, finally getting to see his face.

“Y/N?” He questioned back, looking at me.

“Oh my gosh, it is you.” I smiled wide. Eddie and I used to be friends when we were younger and every summer we would hang out when I came home. Calling each other wasn’t an option because of my father, so we would write one another and I kept everyone.

“It really is. Come here.” Eddie enveloped his arms around me, holding me close. I wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him back.

“When did you get back? I would’ve helped you move back in.” Eddie kept looking over my face as if something happened.

“Last week, but I know you were working hard at the plant. I didn’t want to come over and bother you just to bring in heavy items.” I said walking inside with high school with him.

“You know I would do anything to help you. Don’t hesitate again.” He said seriously.

“Oh yeah? Just so you can go through my panties again like last summer?” I said standing in front of him at his locker.

“You weren’t supposed to be that fast in the bathroom.” Eddie’s face went red.

“You admit it!” I said laughing and walking away.

“No, Y/N. Get back here.” He laughed following me to our homeroom class.

A few months passed and it was late fall. Fall in Hawkins was similar to what a New England falls resembles. Beautiful colored leaves, colder weather, and a vibe of dark academia. Eddie and I skipped the last class which was just a Study Hall and headed to his secret picnic table in the forest. We’ve been talking about anything and everything. More than we could write in our letters.

“It wasn’t my ideal situation to come back home to basically become a mother figure to my younger sister or be her keeper, but she’s my best friend. I love that girl with everything in me.” I smiled thinking about Max. “I’d do anything for her.” 

“That’s admirable. I feel the same way about Wayne.” Eddie said, leaning over the table on his elbows.

“I haven’t seen Wayne since we were kids. How has he been?” I asked following suit and leaning my elbows on the table. His eyes sparkled at the mention of his beloved uncle.

“He’s doing good. They switched him to the night shift down at the plant, but other than being tired, he’s doing good. I can’t believe you remembered our last conversation about him.” Eddie said looking at me. Just looking into his eyes made me weak.

“Of course, I did, Eddie. I care about you and Wayne so much. You’re very close to me so I’m going to pay attention to what you say. Even if you ramble on about how “Henderson” is annoying you about winning the last game.” I laughed, smiling at him.

“It was valid!” Eddie was very enthusiastic about his Dungeons and Dragons meetings. “Do you still listen to rock music?” He asked playing with his rings.

“I do and some metal. The ones you recommended. I really like Metallica.” I smiled while looking at him wearing a shit-eatin’ grin knowing I paid attention to his requests. “You know I have kept every single one of our letters.” 

“Really?”

“Yeah. I love that we started that at a young age. It’s very endearing. I mean who would’ve pegged you for the kind of guy to write letters to his childhood best friend while being the town’s metalhead freak, but because he plays a fantasy game.” I looked him in the eyes again.

“Don’t forget to mention satanic cultists too.” He chuckled. “I’ve kept all of mine too. Wayne tells me it's because I’m in love with you.” He blushed saying those words.

“You? In love with me?” I chuckled. That’s funny because it’s not true. Eddie wasn’t in love with me, he’s my friend.

“What if he’s not wrong? Would it be so bad if I was?” Eddie leaned over the table again, this time getting closer.

“No,” I gulped. “Would it be bad if I said I am too?” He’s showing the signals. Either show mine too and get rejected or finally be able to be in love with Eddie. My hands were shaking from this interaction. I didn’t get many in New York. The girls were prettier and the guys weren't Eddie. 

“No, darling. It’d be great, so I can do this.” Eddie closed the gap between us and kissed me. I froze for a quick second, letting my brain register what was happening. I raised my hand to hold his face and kissed him back.

[kritischetheologie]

Please sewis + "just tell why you did it!" "because i'm in love with you! i have been forever."

for the anon who requested #31. cw for divorce. I kept the spirit but changed the dialogue because no offense to the list of prompts this was pulled from but they would never say that.

There are a lot of people who could have put Seb up for the night. It didn't have to be Lewis.

Seb could have driven to Mick's, or to Corinna's, without even having to leave Switzerland. He could have posted up in England with Mark. And Daniel always has space in his guest bedroom in LA-- Lewis knows that one firsthand, even though he has his own house out there, because sometimes you just can't be fucked with the Uber back to Malibu from WeHo-- as does Jenson, if he'd wanted to put a little more space between himself and...

Between himself and what, is the question. Seb hasn't answered yet, but then, Lewis hasn't asked, either.

Seb had just sent an uncharacteristically brief text message, You're in Monaco, right? Could I stay for a night or two? and showed up a few minutes later with a change of clothes in the same Lululemon backpack he's been using since the original one got stolen. Lewis had teased him for a minute, what would you have done if I was in LA, man?, and the way Seb's expression had crumpled had said enough that he still hasn't pressed any further.

They've been sitting in Lewis's living room for almost an hour, now, barely speaking.

Lewis only realizes that Seb's ring is missing-- he takes it off too often for its absence to register as weighted-- when Seb puts down his second beer, leans back into the vegan leather of Lewis's sectional, cracks his knuckles, and says, "You know, the only thing that surprises me is that it took her this long to do it."

Lewis figures out which her six hundredths of a second before those words leave his mouth, thank God.

"Did you have, like, a fight, or something?" Lewis asks instead. It was over for his parents years before he started forming memories. He doesn't know what it's like when things end between two fundamentally decent people. He's seen other drivers go through it-- Jenson, Fernando-- but Seb has always been different. He was supposed to be better than the rest of them.

"Not especially," Seb says, taking a long swig of his beer and wiping the foam from his mouth with the back of his other hand. It sticks to the coarse blonde hairs there. "I don't think either of us were up for one, honestly."

As long as Lewis has known him, Seb has never once run from a fight, let alone turned away from it in indifference.

"Ok, but something must have happened," Lewis says. His voice comes out a little reedy, desperate, like a child asking the adults to stop whispering above his head.

The sharp gaze Seb fixes him with is almost a relief, after how dim his eyes have been since he showed up, but the edge of it fades almost instantly. "She got sick of being married to someone who's in love with someone else," Seb says evenly. "I don't blame her."

Lewis almost chokes on his seltzer. For all Seb has spent a lifetime flirting with anyone he could get his hands on-- the Grid Girls, Lee McKenzie, even Geri fucking Halliwell-- Lewis has never once heard a whisper about Seb and another woman.

Lewis takes a long look at him, trying to fit this new piece of information into his mental picture. Seb's beard is the same sort of unkempt it was in 2019-- growing down his neck, like he hasn't bothered shaving in a week plus. His hair is almost to his shoulders, and greasy, weighted down with product buildup. He needs a clarifying treatment and a deep condition, desperately. Whoever she is, she's letting him get away with not taking care of himself. Lewis hates her already.

He keeps running through the possibilities in his mind as Seb sips his beer. He can't imagine Seb with one of the interchangeable Instagram models the younger drivers bring around. Susie's a spitfire, but she wouldn't do that to Toto. God, he hopes it's, like, Jamie fucking Chadwick or something-- someone fast enough to keep up with him, cocky enough to keep him on his toes.

Seb settles his beer on the coffee table gently enough to avoid it flowing over, and the sound is still loud enough enough to make Lewis jump.

"Lewis," Seb says softly. He reaches towards Lewis, taking both of his hands. "You must have known, surely."

"I don't know anything, man," Lewis says. The churning feeling in his stomach is disappointment, he decides. "Every time I think I've got you figured out, you hit me with another fucking plot twist." Maybe even anger. He pulls his hands back. "I just never thought you'd be the type to fuck around on your wife, you know?"

Seb puts his head in his hands. "Fucking hell, Lewis," he swears. "I haven't. That's what I'm trying to-- fuck, Lewis, I wouldn't."

"Then why," Lewis asks, enunciating every word carefully, trying to keep his heart rate under control, so he can be the friend Seb needs right now, no matter how pissed he is, "did she leave you?"

"Because I'm in love with you," Seb says. The words come out ragged, like they've been torn out of his throat unwillingly.

"Oh, Jesus," Lewis says. "Me?"

[jaehyunsprincesspeach2]

While I was wandering around with my friend, I suddenly thought what would it be like if murayama had fallen in love with his big sister's best friend, And I decided to ask you because I'm curious about your writing style.(✿❛◡❛)

Thank you for this request, I’m sorry it took me so long, I was deciding between a head canon and written story line like this, but its finally here!! I hope you enjoy it!!

Much love ~ ember

Unspoken Love

Wc: 1.3k

Pairing: Murayama x sistersbff!reader

Warnings: extremely fluffy fluff

It’s her. It’s always been her. It will always be her.

Murayama, lost in thought on the roof of Oya High, didn’t even realize he had missed three calls from his older sister.

Shit, she’s gonna be so mad. I just hope y/n isn’t with her, I think i'll lose my mind if I have to keep seeing her.

Walking out of the school, Murayama arrives at his older sister's car, and unluckily for him, her best friend, y/n is sitting in the passenger seat. Despite what one might think, Murayama thinks very highly of y/n. She is top of her class in academics, she is involved with volunteer programs, and she is the kindest soul anyone has ever met. She’s gentle with others, always thinks about others before herself. Murayama hates seeing her because he fell in love with her the first time he saw her.

From the first day she walked through the door with his sister, she has been on his mind. He thinks about her during school when he is supposed to be in class, he thinks about her at work, which is why he keeps getting fired, late at night he thinks about what it would be like to hold her in his arms. What it would be like to leave sweet kisses on her cheeks. What it would be like to love her the way that he knows she deserves to be loved.

For years, it's been misery for Murayama. Y/n is always around. Others ask why he won't just ask her out, but he has a lot of respect for his older sister. She provides a lot for him and takes care of him when their parents are working late into the night. Y/n is the only friend that has ever stuck with his sister, and he knows that. It’s something that he wouldn’t feel right interfering with. But my goodness, he wants her. He wants to show her that he can treat her the way that a woman should be treated. He wants to make her his queen, yet he can't bring himself to do it.

Not only has y/n been there for his sister, she’s been there for him. When he is beaten up after a fight, she has an ice pack and bandages ready. When he and his sister don't have enough money for groceries, she brings them a homemade meal. When he is out late at night, she always asks him to let her know when he makes it home safe. She's selfless, not only with his sister, but with him too.

He is unequivocally in love, yet he feels like he can't do anything about it. He can’t even bring himself to talk to his sister about it. He feels wrong about all of it. And the thought that keeps him up at night, is that he doesn't know how she feels. He has a sense of hope that she feels the same way as he does. A hope that one day she will want to be with him the way that he wants to be with her. Hope that one day, he won't have to suffer watching the woman he loves be with another man.

It’s a daily thing that y/n is at Murayama’s house. That’s why Murayama has been avoiding the house lately. He can't stand to see her, especially knowing that she is going through a break-up right now. It was a toxic situation, and she knew that, but still she stayed with him, and he hurt her, just like Murayama said he would. Y/n is gentle hearted, but she is tough. Seeing her cry over someone who is too dumb to see how amazing she is, breaks his heart more than anything else. He wants to be there for her, but he is afraid that if he is, his secret will be revealed. All he wants to do is hold her, and tell her that everything will be alright. He wants to tell her that he will be by her side through everything. He wants to tell her that he is never leaving, as he whispers sweet nothings in her ear. That’s all he wants. But it's the one thing he can't have.

Finally returning home after a long walk, he spots y/n sitting up on the roof. Surprisingly, she is alone. She was supposed to leave hours ago, she walked out the door with him when he left for his walk. He knew that he shouldn't, but he couldn't resist. He climbed onto the roof and sat down next to her, sitting in silence for a while.

“The stars are nice…” Murayama says, trying to break the silence.

“Yeah, I love them.” Y/n replies, trying to hide the emotions that she is feeling.

“You like looking at the stars?” He asks, starting light conversation.

“Yeah, you know, this is the first time anyone has sat with me and watched the stars…” Y/n began trailing off into thought, not realizing that Murayama is looking at her, rather than the stars.

“Oh really? Is that a bad thing?” He asks, trying to get a feel for the situation

“Yeah, it's something that is special to me, I don’t usually let other people join me on nights like these.” Y/n still deep into thought, Murayama feels the urge to pull her close, and hold her tight. He feels the urge to feel her warmth against his chest. Sitting under the night sky, with the woman he loves, but he can't bring himself to say anything.

Silence takes over again, to Murayama’s surprise, y/n can feel the tension just as much as he can.

“I've been talking a lot with your sister, about a lot of things…” Y/n says almost in a whisper.

“Yeah? About what? If you don't mind me asking.” Suddenly Murayama is curious.

“Typical girl stuff… gossip, crushes… things like that…” Murayama can hear the nerves in y/n voice. He shifts a little bit. A non-verbal way of showing that he is listening to what she has to say.

“I realized, after getting cheated on, that it didn’t hurt me as bad as I thought it would, or at least should. I realized that I didn't even want to be with him anyways, I just liked the idea of being with someone, I suppose. It’s a shallow thought, but it's true…”

“I dont think it's shallow, it's natural for someone to want to feel wanted… I think it's human to have those thoughts and feelings.” Murayama suddenly showed a softer side that even y/n hasn’t seen.

“Really? You think so?” Y/n asks, earning a hum of approval from Murayama.

More silence, only for a moment though.

“I told your sister that I have feelings for you…” y/n blurts out, breaking the silence yet again, leaving Murayama stunned. Frozen. Unable to form a coherent thought.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. I- I think I’m just gonna head home.” Y/n says, unable to hide her flustered state. Packing up her bag, and the things that she had taken out, she’s stopped when Murayama grabs her hand. Looking at him, he looks deep into her eyes, as if she is the only thing in the world. As if the stars themselves are right there in her eyes.

His thoughts that are normally running through his mind cease to exist, as he pulls her in, and presses a sweet, gentle kiss to her lips. Time stops, and for a moment, the world is still. Everything feels as if it's falling into place. Everything finally feels right. As if they were always meant to be together.

[iho6hi2]

hhoww would the devil's advocate! gang play dress to impress??

OK OK IM SO READY FOR THIS

Y/n: They dont even care about the fucking game fr 💀💀💀💀 they hop on dress to impress and ignore all the themes and once the ratings and reviews start they begin trash talking everyone in the chat. Gives everyone 0 or 1 stars and tells them their fits fucking suck and that they should never leave their house ever again if that's how they dress. Everyone hates them but to y/n thats an even better reaction. Loves pissing people off amd that game is perfect for them.

Natsumi: Always follows the themes diligently but is extremely stingy when it comes to ratings. Someone can put together the best outfit ever and she'd still turn her nose up and find something to complain about. Shes actually so lamee because she literally takes the game so seriously 😭😭 she always tries super hard and genuinely feels upset if she doesn't place in the top 3 and y/n needs to listen to Natsumi being insecure

Endou: He has generally good ideas about fits but is sooo confused and disoriented... He always goes to the wrong sections and gets so overwhelmed to the point his brain malfunctions and the timer runs out and he's left to walk the podium with an incomplete/absurd look... Wjy is his skin green all of a sudden when the theme is Angel 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ Always spams the most foolish poses too LIKE YOU CAN DO BACKFLIPS WE GET IT

Gouenji: He's so unbothered ajd puts in minimum effort and even then that's still asking for too much. While everyone else in the lobby is skedaddling across the sections and panicking, he's walking around and is meticulously looking around and commenting to himself like he's live streaming. The craziest part is that he somehow ends up outranking those who try hard and bought the most expensive and fancy clothes. Doesn't gaf about it tho.

Kidou: Uses his black credit card and buys all the best poses and acquires the cutest clothes possible in the game and this means he should be able to win right?? No. He always places dead last and he gets HEATED. he gets HOT because what do you mean he wwasted so much money for nothing. Thinks the game is rigged (sore loser mentality)

Kino: She likes sticking to the basics and generally doesn't experiment much. Follows the themes diligently and her avatar's appearance looks cute and is considered okay, but its not enough to wow the judges and thus, she always places 4th or 5th. Finds the game fun but doesn't like how some players are clearly biased towards their friends especially when their fits are worse than hers

Haruna: Oh god. Everything she puts together is so flashy and bright you'd think she was there to regulate traffic. Completely ignores the themes and does whatever the fuck she wants and always ranks others high. You can have someone with a completely hideous outfit and she would still give them 5 stars. Always cheers on everyone else in the chat and that's also a reason why she does so well in the game. Her outfits might be a little too much but everyone loves her and that gives Haruna bonus points!!

HOPE YOU LIKED IT!!!!

[stawpny]

GUYS I AM BEGGING YOU

SOMEONE DRAW NEW YORK IN THE 1989 ERAS TOUR OUTFIT OR THE REPUTATION ONE

PLEASE I WOULD LITERALLY COMBUST AT THE SEAMS

AUGHHH

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

-

anyways, ik a lot of ppl go on here and see when I post, hoping it’s headcannons and I just disappoint them

so here’s some hc’s for u children

ny and the south edition! (pls I don’t know much about the south so don’t kill me 😭 I’m a new yorker)

(the quotes with names on it are southerners communicating with NY or whoever else u want, but more specifically NY)

-

- NC and SC always force NY or any other state who would hate it to sing and/or play the banjo when singing a song at a campfire. Even if they suck at singing or playing the banjo!!!

-speaking of campfires, I believe that the states usually have fires every Summer and Autumn. most get together and sing songs and stuff (u can use this idea if u want)

-New York was forced by Gov to make sure a southern party didn’t go terribly. He stood by the door while Texas wouldn’t leave him alone. He stole Texas’ hat when they all passed out, drunk and still has it to date.

-as (maybe) stated before, York plays a lot of instruments, and sometimes they force him to play the acoustic guitar, harmonica, banjo, electric guitar, etc. The NE makes fun of him for it.

-acts gay especially in front of the south just to make them pissed. he’ll flirt with them and make them uncomfortable with the high amount of gay in the room with them. Florida just goes along with it, laughing and pointing at all the southerners that turn away out of embarrassment.

-made fun of Texas and California when they were outlaws and they just joined the union. “I’m tha toughest cowboy ya will ever meet!” “Mhm.” “DONT JUS’ HUM AT ME!!” >:( -Texas

-They know better than to mess with a northerner. Texas doesn’t though, he’s just stupid. York punched him once and he swore he saw him crying to Virginia after.

-has bit many southerners, does not regret it

-

-“Gimme yer best ‘yeehaw’” “yeehaw..” “Ya can do better than that! I’ve heard ya yell at Jersey.” “yeehaw.” “York, I swear-“ “YEE- FUCKIN’ HAW!”-Texas

-“just add some ol’ bay, it’ll make it taste better.” “No it fuckin’ won’t. Keep that shit away from my brownies.”- Maryland

-played poker against Texas, won and almost got shot by him. (Sore loser)

-“what are yous gonna start growlin’?” “GRRRRR-” -Kentucky

-“nah yer good ‘ere.” “Yous are ontop of me. I dunno if I should feel turned on or uncomfortable..” -Georgia

-“off-brand me.” “southerner you, which makes better.” -also Georgia (Empire State and Empire State of the south)

- “who made you this way..?” “The man yer datin’, Y’know, Mass’.” “He would never-“ “Gin, yous even know the answer to this question, it’s an obvious yes.” -Virginia

-“get rid’a the car at this point.” “Hey! I spent my life savin’s on ol’ reliable ‘ere! I ain’t gettin’ rid o’ her if she jus’ has a leak!” “Life savin’s? Jesus, what’s wrong wit’ yous?” - Tennessee

-“ that’s ‘cause Sippi’ wants a sip of that dick.” “WHAT. I ain’t gay!” *crickets* “GUYS PLEASE-“ -Mississippi

-“are yous happy to live in this shithole?” “Hey! I work hard to make this house a home!” “Work harder next time. This looks like if a hillbilly came in ‘ere trashed the place. Y’know, that makes sense knowin’ that yous idiots live ‘ere.” *walks away* “HEY! YOU TAKE THAT BACK!” -Alabama

- “I HATE YOU!” “NUH UH! I HATE YOU MORE!” “‘nuh uh’ really proves yer point, north.” -NC & SC

- “Mais sha, ya really know how shade the south, huh?” “I’ve had enough of all of yous and I’ve seen ya at yer highest and lowest, so I know what will make yous cry later.” “Uh huh, do me then.” “Nah. Don’ get me wrong, yer barely tolerable, but ya don’ get one.” - Louisiana

(loui was upset later bc he didn’t get one 😭)

-“I swear, ya say anythin’ about me bein’ in ‘misery’ then I’m gonna-“ “Nah, I don’ care ‘bout that. What I do care about is why you like mules better than horses. Isn’t that like the whole southerner thing? Horses and idiots with hats?” -Missouri

-“are yous even apart of the south, or are you like the West Virginia of Kansas?” “JESUS IS GONNA NEED TO BLESS YER ASS SOON, WHAT THE HELL DID YA JUS’ SAY TO ME?!” “I’m Jewish.” -Arkansas

-“yer mid-atlantic, but I understand why ya don’ go to family dinnahs wit’ the Northeast. If I had an excuse, I would use it too.” “You guys are scary up there, I’m shocked you still go to those things. In the ‘contract’ they said they were optional.” “FUCKIN’ OPTIONAL?!” -Delaware

-“I will eat your face.” “Uh huh.” “PAY ATTENTION TO ME OR IM GOING TO DO SOMETHING DRASTIC!” “Uh huh.” “AAAAAAAAA-“- Florida

—

could u tell I got lazy at the end?

anyway, I hope you liked

I spent so long on the quotes, trying to come up with a good one was the hardest part.

and I know half of them are reaaally bad 😭

augh

I have no clue what to do for the next chapter of a fic

but anyways, ily guys

<3

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

so i know i’m kind of always shitting on reddit users for how they talk about debbie (even though i use reddit lmao) but i saw this post and i want to talk about it:

so i say this on most of my debbie posts, and someone whos reading this who has read my other posts about her probably is like “omg we know🙄” but i don’t defend everything debbie has done. i also don’t defend everything fiona, lip, ian, carl, or liam has done because newsflash! it’s shameless. they’re all pieces of shit. (ik i said liam but i do love him he did like one bad thing but it was still iconic so…)

but season 6 is a season where 1) debbie is pretty important, and 2) debbie can be both an amazing character and a piece of shit. one thing about me and probably other people who like debbie too is that one of the things i like most about her is her writing/complexity. and jesus fuck, debbie in season 6 is complex.

so on one hand, i didn’t like her for the whole baby-trapping, trying to force fiona not to get an abortion (even though that was all just frank manipulating her and debbie is a feminist), but on the other hand, i loved how she found herself a home and a way to get money, and i loved how she actually took responsibility for her actions.

because debbie got pregnant at fourteen and gave birth at fifteen. her brain wouldn’t fully develop for another ten years. she made a really stupid decision, but, she owned up to it and took responsibility. nobody who hates debbie will admit that.

so, now finally, i’m going to actually talk about the reddit post lol.

the post says that fiona was being apathetic to debbie, and she was. she 100% was.

she was trying to teach debbie a lesson, and yeah, it fucking worked. but after 6x02 or whatever episode it was, she pretends that she just isn’t guardian of debbie anymore. she likes to ‘go all fiona on her’ and try to control her decisions, but she never actually acts like her guardian anymore, which fucking annoys the shit out of me.

i made a whole post about why i think that fiona was a shitty guardian (here). but i really feel like fiona should’ve tried to help debbie a bit.

i know that might piss people off, but it’s true. debbie can’t take all accountability for her actions at this age and she can’t make enough money to support her baby. debbie says that she can support and care for her baby herself, and that’s what she ended up having to do, but she really wasn’t fully able to, because again, she was a freshman with a baby.

i’m tired of seeing people call debbie stupid when she’s not. she made a stupid decision, but she was a kid, and she owned up to it and tried her best to support her kid while being a kid herself. and no, fiona didn’t ask for it. no, debbie shouldn’t have had a baby, and no, fiona didn’t want the responsibility but guess what? debbie still had her baby. debbie raised the baby. fiona didn’t end up taking any responsibility. i hate to say it but fiona should have taken a little bit of responsibility.

it’s fiona kicking debbie out that irks me.

like the post said, debbie wasn’t able to make a lot of money being a kid and having a kid. so, she gets thrown out of the house. what else was debbie supposed to fucking do?

kicking debbie (and franny!) out was borderline child neglect on fiona’s part. fiona was so neglectful to all of the kids once they actually became her kids, but especially ian, debbie, and liam. franny was debbie’s responsibility, yeah, but debbie was fiona’s responsibility.

fiona had no right to kick debbie and franny out. she had no right to tell carl and debbie to put her at the bottom of their emergency contact list. she had no right to just let them do their own shit, she needed to fucking help them. but instead she was apathetic.

i love fiona. and i get she started raising kids at 5 and i get why she didn’t want to raise another. but she didn’t raise franny and just because she had her own shit going on doesn’t mean she gets to just leave liam behind, let carl be a drug dealer, and kick debbie out.

if she wasn’t ready to have actual responsibility that she has to fulfill then she should’ve just let the kids stay in foster care and not become their legal guardian because she clearly couldn’t handle the actual responsibility.

i’ve also heard someone say “i don’t support teen pregnancy but i support teen moms” and i agree with that and i wish fiona would agree with it too.

i think i’m starting to repeat myself and make less sense so i’m ending the rant here but yeah.

[thewritetofreespeech]

Hello! Can you please write angst with Mammon who was a giant asshole towards MC in the beginning but soon became infatuated with her. But when he finally asks her out, MC rejects him saying that she hates him for being a cruel asshole and calls him a monster. After that he goes right back to being a self centred scumbag but never gets over her.

This is my first time asking for a request so I hope I didn't mess this up. But I really am a sucker for Mammon angst 😩. Please ignore this request if you don't want to do it. 😇😇

Mammon + Reader rejection

Mammon took a deep breath through his nose. Wiped his hands on his slacks. Then straightened his back.

Ok, he was ready.

He had been planning to tell [Y/N] how he felt about them and ask them out on a date. He figured it was time. Trying to ignore them or brush them off didn’t seem to quell his feelings, and every day they seemed to be getting stronger and strong. Which led him to being more and more irritated with them that he couldn’t make it go away. So, he figured that he needed to confront his feelings and [Y/N].

Walking into an open classroom where [Y/N] was getting ready to leave for their next lesson, the demon puffed up his chest and came over to them, “hey [Y/N]!”

“What do you want Mammon?” They asked in a surly sort of tone, but with a brow furrow that just made his heart race.

“What? Is that anyway to speak to the Great Mammon?!”

“I have to get to class.”

“Wait don’t go!” Mammon urged. Reaching out to stop them, but not actually touching them. “I mean…I’m willing to let it slide, since I’m such a generous demon. In fact, I’m even willing to take you out next Friday to this show I got tickets for.”

“No thanks.”

The demon balked at their refusal, but quickly regrouped. “I don’t think you understand. This is a VIP experience. The club owner gave them to me because I’m so awesome.” He wanted to let them know that he was admired by others. “So, what do ya say? I can pick you up at your room at 9.”

“I said no thanks.” [Y/N] repeated.

Mammon clicked his teeth and growled. “Why not?!” He was really trying here. He was being nice and generous and they still didn’t want to go out with him.

“Are you serious? You mean besides the fact that you’ve been treating me like I’m some house pet since I got here, or some dumb human despite getting better grades on the tests than you?” He flinched at that. That was…harsh. “You’ve never treated me with an ounce of kindness since I got here. If you acknowledge me at all. Now I’m supposed to be grateful your inviting me out for a night? No. Besides the fact that I don’t trust you, I’m not going to spend my night with someone like you. So can you please just let me go to class?”

The demon felt like his heart was breaking. A new sensation, since he wasn’t aware he had a heart to break. It really hurt.

“F-F-Fine!” He shouted back. Because when he was hurt, he got angry. “See if I care! I tried to do something nice for you, but this is how you’re going to act then I don’t need ya! I’ll find someone else, someone better, to go out with and they’ll appreciate what I’m trying to do for them!” He stormed out of the classroom and down the hall towards the exit.

It hurt. It hurt so much. He’d been rejected before, by nearly everyone, but being rejected by [Y/N] hurt like never before. He needed to get out of here. He needed to get away.

Out of the school and into the courtyard Mammon shifted into his demon form and literally flew away from the school. He didn’t come back home for a few days. And when he did, he was his usual scummy-older brother self to everyone. Especially [Y/N]

[spicyicymeloncat]

It’s 4am it’s angst o’clock so here’s ninja attachment issues:

I feel like everyone has attachment issues but like Zane in particular sticks to people like a sad puppy. After wu finally grew up again after s9, Zane would not let him leave the house alone and because incredibly over protective (hence him jumping in front wu every time anything happens ever). Especially after s11, Zane does not like to be left alone, he’ll start to disassociate. Whenever someone leaves he’ll try not to look sad but he will be, and whenever he does any solo missions, he does so out of necessity and so tries to put on a brave face. He’s still kinda in denial about it all but everyone else kinda knows and always have a buddy system, and get worried if Zane is alone.

Kai also does not like being left alone but unfortunately his response to anything is isolating himself. No one is allowed to leave him but he will storm off when he’s upset, only for a few minutes later he’ll realise that he actually did not want to be alone. He’s caught between trying to do things alone because he had to in his childhood but also feeling very scared of reliving said lonely childhood. Whenever Kai feels bad about himself he basically punishes himself by isolating himself but he’s trying to break that habit. So yeah he likes company and will often drive with someone on the phone (Pixal usually just because they are driving phone call buddies).

Jay is more of an introvert and definitely needs his alone time but he also requires validation every five minutes and can be really clingy and overwhelming when he is around people (which in turn is the reason why his social battery is so low, he’s draining even to himself). He definitely didn’t have that many friends before the ninja and so he’s kinda insecure and tries really hard to be around people bc insecurities. Jay’s just one of those types who assumes everyone’s default opinion of him is bad so he’s always trying to prove himself. And he thinks if people don’t want to spend every moment with him then he’s doing something wrong, and also if he doesn’t spend all the time with them then he’s conveying that he doesn’t like them. It stresses him out and leads him to try and over plan dates and occasions because it has to be perfect. Again like Kai, he’s trying to change that mindset and learn self love, and take space for himself and valuing quality time over quantity.

Cole was someone who tries to leave before he got attached, he’s family trauma making him hesitant when opening up. He’s also more on the introverted side and especially in times of hardship he just wants to be alone because people are pressure yknow. He finds it hard to rely on others and would and could disappear into the mountains for months if he thought he should. He often won’t speak his mind due to a low self esteem and he does go off on his own because he doesn’t want to bother anyone else with his problems. However, he also tries his best to accommodate for everyone else meaning he ends up internalising his own needs to stay with them. Also he’s acts really friendly unintentionally so even when he does run off he can’t help but make other friends, because usually they’re in a similar position to him (the rule of the socially awkward: make socialise best with other awkward people). He needs his space but Cole also needs to be reminded to not take on too much all on his own.

Nya is also someone who would totally isolate herself. Like Kai, being alone isn’t ideal but instead of just hating it, Nya just got used to it, and doesn’t have very high expectations for commitment. That’s why she was initially uncomfortable with the level of attention Jay gives her, or why her response to the group disbanding in s3/4 was to chug on and build a boat. Nya kinda just expects people to leave and doesn’t put in a lot of effort because of that. Like someone who used to be very clingy but then the worst case scenario came true and she no longer cares. But as time went on, she’s slowly beginning to trust and depend on the group more and is slowly healing. She’s still in the process of it all especially demonstrated in Seabound where she still couldn’t trust her mother enough to fully spend time with her.

Lloyd literally hyperfixates on every interaction ever. He tries so hard to please every single person he meets because he feels the pressure of being the green ninja, and he’s overly trusting - firstly about the nature of the people he meets and secondly, about his ability to help them. He’s kinda got an “I can fix them” complex since what happened with pre s8 Garmadon. When he first started living with the ninja, he didn’t exactly feel at home and so was a lot less sociable with them but at the same time was incredibly lonely. Although from seasons 3-7 he definitely got more emotionally dependant on others since getting kidnapped by the overlord, the group split up, his dad dying, and being possessed, but after s7 he regained confidence to start working solo. I also hc that s8 was when he physically turned 18 so by then he was kinda wanting more independence (especially because the ninja are a lot more smothering and the household is never quiet) and took on more solo missions. Lloyd is still incredible awkward talking to people outside the family especially since he didn’t have a lot of time to socialise tho. I guess all in all he’s on the more nonsocial side.

Gotta put wu, elemental master of having no friends sticking around, in here as well. Wu has seen many people come and go and usually they just leave him and he’s come to expect it. However he usually takes it as a failure on his part and will spend the rest of time being sad about it and would not continue to try and meet other people since Garmadon left. The only thing driving him to not become a complete hermit was the green ninja prophecy, and he accidentally let himself get attached to all his students. That’s another thing, Wu gets really easily attached, he’s pretty desperate to prove himself (which is why it hurts when they leave). But his attachment to the people around him, is also what causes him to push them away, because he felt he’s failed too many times and also because he wants to keep them safe.

[the-one-where-casey-watches-tv]

Heartstopper episode 2.03 "Promise"

Joe Locke and Kit Connor in Heartstopper. Image courtesy of IMDb.

This is the most I’ve looked forward to a new season of a show in a long time. I watched it all in a day and it filled my heart right up. To be a YA romance about two high school boys, it hits strikingly close to home. I was instantly enamored with season one, and my experience with it made me realize that I had actually never seen this part of myself on screen so completely before (I’ve been clinging to Olivia Wilde’s Thirteen on House for a decade). They’re high schoolers with high school problems, yet everything they go through feels significant without veering into melodrama. In fact, I think the reality of what they’re facing is so challenging, and all of these characters deserve so much credit for how they face them.

Especially Charlie. Charlie’s the unspoken protagonist of this story- when we watch this show we step into his shoes- and I think that sometimes leaves him overlooked. We empathize with all the characters on occasion- the show is really good at that- but Charlie was the one with the crush, the constant victim of unwanted attention; it’s easy to imagine ourselves in that position. But like no one’s favorite character is Harry Potter (except mine), I think Charlie can come across as two dimensional if we get too caught up in the self-insert nature of the story; like everything happens to him without him doing anything. But he’s a great dude, tbh.

And in this episode, he’s taking care of everybody else. The term is finally over- everyone in Nick’s year has just finished exams, and Charlie is ungrounded, just in time for a big party in the woods. Before leaving school, Tao declares his feelings for Elle with a new haircut and flowers, asking her on a date to the movies before the party. Elle accepts, and he takes her to see Moonrise Kingdom, a movie he hates but she loves. They both have nervous butterflies, but Elle is thrown off by the tension in the air and doesn’t like that Tao isn’t acting like himself.

They awkwardly agree to go to the party, where it’s revealed that Elle has invited her new friends, fellow prospective art students. Tao explodes, declaring that she’s forgotten all about him, and storms off (we’ll confirm later that Tao’s fear of abandonment stems from the death of his dad when he was 12; not everyone’s behavior is excused, but there is a reason that every character acts the way they act). Still reeling, Tao bumps into Charlie, who’s been separated from Nick in the chaos of the bonfire. Tao bursts into tears, declaring that he “tries too hard and talks too much and ruins everything”. Charlie wraps him in a fierce hug, and Tao sobs into his shoulder.

William Gao and Yasmin Finney in "Promise". Image courtesy of IMDb.

Nick, meanwhile, has been struggling with this night from the start. He’s plagued by the pressure he’s put on himself to come out, supplemented by Ben whispering in his ear all term that he’s treating Charlie the same way Ben used to. Nick’s taking his own promise to Charlie from season 1 very literally and feels increasingly guilty with each passing time he tries and fails to come out to someone in his life. Today, he’s promised again to come out to the rugby team, and Tori pulled a big sister move, threatening Nick if he didn’t look after Charlie tonight. The stakes are high, and he’s feeling them. He tells Charlie he just has a headache and can persevere.

But they quickly lose each other in the crowd, and while Charlie is comforting Tao, Nick is getting more and more distressed. While looking for Charlie he finds Tori instead, who skeptically points out that he’s not doing a very good job looking out for her brother. More broken promises… He finds his way into the center of the crowd, being jostled by a bunch of the rugby boys. Thoroughly disoriented, he’s endearingly still trying: “guys… there’s something… I need to tell you”. But suddenly Harry is next to him, throwing an arm around Nick and asking what they’re talking about.

Nick loses what’s left of his nerve at this point, but before he can find anything to say, Charlie appears and pulls Harry off of him: “Nick doesn’t want to talk to you, Harry, piss off!” Surprised, the other boys give them enough space for Charlie to ask Nick if he’s okay, and for Nick to say, “I feel really unwell”. Charlie declares that he’s taking him home and leads Nick out of the crowd. In the end, he’s not the one who needed looking after tonight. In the previous episode, Charlie apologized for not standing up for Nick when his brother started harassing him. In this episode, he proved that he actually learned from that moment and changed his behavior.

Joe Locke in Heartstopper. Image courtesy of IMDb.

I want to give Charlie so many points for the way he treats not only Nick, but never forgets about his friends while in the throes of his first real love. He gives Tao his full attention tonight, just like he will in Paris when he clips the Charlie + Tao lock onto the bridge, and just like he will at prom when he pulls Isaac into a group picture.

But with Nick especially, he is so genuinely supportive. Nick isn’t anything like Ben, and maybe it wouldn’t be fair for Charlie to express it, but there’s definitely something a little triggering for him about having another secret boyfriend. Nonetheless, Charlie not only takes Nick home and tucks him into bed with a cup of tea, but he makes the executive decision that they should stop trying to come out right now. He sees what it’s doing to Nick (and ignores what not doing it is doing to himself), and the relief in Nick is palpable.

But as selfless as it is, Charlie’s right: it is Nick’s coming out. He should be able to do it on his own terms. The tea is just that being gay is hard, and being in a relationship where one person is more out than the other is going to have painful moments for both people involved, and it isn’t either of their faults. And even though not everything is going according to plan, Nick is moving mountains himself. He really didn’t bat an eye before abandoning his entire friend group, not even caving for the more auxiliary members of the rugby team until they apologized and earned their way back into his life. Instead, he fully embraced Charlie’s friends, forming his own relationships with all of them.

And I’m really glad that the show doesn’t minimize the all-consuming fatigue involved with coming out. Nick doesn’t just want to do it for Charlie; he wants to be out, holding his boyfriend’s hand and kissing him whenever he wants. There are moments throughout the season where we see his own frustration with himself. But it just isn’t something that comes up naturally in conversation. It’s always awkward. It’s always at least a little bit scary. You have to bring the conversation to a stop and make an ‘announcement’, something that feels self-important and overdramatic, while doing nothing feels like keeping a cowardly secret. Struggling to come out doesn’t make Nick a bad person, and Heartstopper shows us exactly how and why.

Kit Connor in Heartstopper. Image courtesy of IMDb.

I love the way this show romanticizes all the right things, depicting both gay pride and gay struggle without one diminishing the other. Heartstopper is ultimately so full of love; this entire friend group is made up of really good people, and for everything that gives these kids a hard time, there’s something else propping them up. For every Ben Hope, there’s a Nick Nelson, for every overbearing brother there’s an overprotective sister, for every absent father there’s a perfect mother. It’s both guttingly relatable and rejuvenatingly hopeful, and while I personally will never get tired of a wholesome story, we still have far from enough queer content in this world that just makes you feel nice. If you love Heartstopper, please tell me everything you like about it and why :) <3

[augment-techs]

AND LAST BATCH:

1) Billy/Skull/Matt (bc I wanna hear you rant UwU)

2) Kim/Bulk

3) Bulk/Tommy

4) Conner/Kira (I chanced upon a fic by you yesterday that I had read and could not ascertain if it was requested or not. Don’t ask I was playing that “is it fluff is it smut” game with some friends🫣🫣)

Billy/Skull/Matt: It will never be canon, it will never be a fandom fave. But that does not matter, because the palace of possibility that goes on in my head is something that canon will never be able to take away from me. They would be lovely as just mutually supportive friends with benefits, but could you IMAGINE these three as a poly? Like, to say that they could alleviate each other's trauma is not saying enough, because ALL of these young men have been through their own kind of hell in many different ways and it kind of feels like...nobody else wants them? There is something comforting in finding kindred spirits in rejection and mutual awareness. Plus, they've all had the friendship/antagonism/growth thing. Also, they feel VERY pretty as a group. Their Colors would work so smoothly together.

Bulk/Kim: Of course I am partial especially towards them in the Coinless universe, but at this point I would take them in any and every other dimension.

There is something so comforting about a character that half the fandom hates finding love with the fandom darling that makes me go feral and foam at the mouth. And in the Coinless universe this is EARNED so hard that I also want to take a baseball bat to defenseless objects lying around the house. Kim is broken and terrified of herself in everything that's happened and everything that she's done, but Bulk actually stood by her the second she came back to the side of the light when she was ready to get torn apart. This is not mentioning this Darkest Hour Arc bullshit where Bulk will apparently protect Kim in any universe. Hello, good knight; the princess is still alive and about to burn down the tower~

Bulk/Tommy: This is ALLLLLLLLL @lordkingsmith fault, and I am very grateful for the opportunity to think about it. Truly, I could ship Bulk or Skull with anyone if I thought about it hard enough, but there is just something about how they presented it that made it feel...realistic.

Tommy feels like the kind of guy whose relationships are always doomed to fail if he involves himself with his teammates. From Kim, to Kat, to Jason, to Adam. He COULD do his best to mend any breaks in the bond, but he also feels damaged by his life in the foster care system in a way that makes it hard not to let go of the belief that his partners will eventually leave him; so it would take someone with infinite patience to see him through that kind of baggage. And Bulk is a ROCK. They could be good for each other.

Conner/Kira: I know the fic you're talking about. It was a prompt, and I didn't especially like it. I could see them in a poly setting, OT3 or OT4, but never as a singular couple. Largely because Conner never learns and Kira always seems annoyed with him. Even at the end of Dino Thunder, they were friends, but better in a group setting than alone together.

@skyland2703

[minevn]

How would they act with a mc who gets hurt very often? (things like cuts, bruises from falling on the floor, even a broken arm)

Minato: Minato is already very protective of you but seeing you covered in bruises and cuts makes him be even more protective of you. Might think that someone is hurting you at first, maybe people like Hoshi and Habiki. He'll check up on you WAY more often in order to protect you so hopefully you get hurt less.

Haruto: Knows that you're just very clumsy so he takes it upon himself to take care of you to hopefully reduce the amount of injuries you get. He knows you're bound to get hurt, but not if he has anything to do about it. You at least won't be getting any broken bones around him.

Jun: HATES seeing you hurt, however doesn't blame anyone else for your injuries. She's heard a TON of stories about you hurting yourself from Aki and has seen her fair share of incidents as well. When Jun is being super clingy with you she might get some injuries herself, like if you fall while Jun is hugging your side, Jun is falling with you. More often then not, Jun is nursing you back to perfect condition.(She may have made a nurse outfit for herself to wear when she'd taking care of you👀)

Hoshi: They use it to their advantage at first. It's so easy for you to get pranked and it's super fun pranking you. Honestly, he doesn't trust you with any other job other then cashier, but at first he'll let you take those jobs because it's super funny seeing you fail. When he starts liking you though, he changes a LOT. He still degrades you and teases, saying stuff about how "you need me." or "Where would you be without me?" but his pranks have stopped completely and he's begging his dad to just switch your position to cashier. He'll try to stop you getting hurt as much as he possibly can.

Habiki: Bullies you at first. He thinks you're useless and he tells you as much. He never fails to degrade you on your clumsiness whenever he passes by. He might have his own fun and trip you himself, not that he really has to(Or should!!) but he thinks it's a little fun. Much like Hoshi, he doesn't trust you with any other job other then cashier but says nothing about it. When he likes you he'll continue being degrading, just less(It's not Habiki without rude remarks) and he'll also try to stop you getting hurt a lot, you might just have to live with him and never leave the house!

Kage: Honestly, he probably gets hurt a lot as well, definitely not as much as you do but enough that he can sort of relate. Anyways, Kage slander is STRONG on this blog(I love them, it's just very easy to pick on them a little) he's probably not going to be able to protect you from getting hurt since the second he hits his knee on a table his entire bone structure collapses BUT the chances of you getting hurt decreases if you let him kidnap you.

Kei: Knows that you get hurt a lot and has always tried to stop it when he could, even back in high school. He's pretty successful most of time but sometimes he still fails to protect you, especially when you're at home. If you ever get hurt in front of him, don't worry he has a lot of knowledge(and practice👀) with medical procedures that can help you.

Yani: Yani is so chaotic and reckless that they probably also get hurt often so they can relate! They also use it as like a "Omg! Y/n I have a cut on my leg as well, just like you, we're sooooooo alike! Right? Right! We should be married cause we get hurt in the same areas!" Doesn't like seeing you hurt though so will prevent injuries as much as she can.

Aki: Sighs whenever she sees a new cut or bruise or gets a phone call from you inside of the hospital. She's just happy you're still alive but holy moly, please be more careful, you're giving her gray hairs. She'll make a few jokes about how you shouldn't ever leave her side and joke about handcuffing you two together.(it's a joke with her, if the others say it they're serious LMAO)

[najmiska]

pain, fear, and break :3c (for the ask game!)

Hi hi, thanks for the questions!! I will put the answers under here, bc that's a lot of writing hah

pain: What's the worst pain your OC has ever felt? Do they have a high pain tolerance?

Physically? She didn't have any major injury or anything. She often feels pain from stress, in her lower back, neck and jaw. And cramps ofc (totally not writing this while dying myself). Nothing out of the ordinary tho. She doesn't have a high pain tolerance in that department. They don't always notice the pain at first, but when they do, they won't be able to focus on anything else.

Mentally? I would say it's the trauma of living with her mother (I absolutely will write more about it, but first I think I need to learn how to flag all the trigger warnings :'> ) and losing her best friend/first love. Idk if you can talk about pain tolerance here (??), but they are kind of numb to it rn. Yes, she still has emotions and can show being hurt, especially when stress becomes a factor, but generally they will push down all that.

fear: What is your OC's greatest fear? What do they do when confronted with it? Are they open with their fear, or do they hide it away?

That would be losing the life she built herself here on Jorvik. It's not perfect, she still needs to change a thing or two. But it's all so much better than what she had known before it almost feels like a dream. They often stress about their mother trying to contact them or, even worse, wanting them back in Poland. Could she just say no and not cause more family drama? Or maybe, they could lose a house, their horse, all the people they've met. Anything changing for the worse would be devastating to her. She is motivated to do anything to maintain the status quo, even if that meant hurting herself (or, you know, people she hate) in the proces. Surprisingly, I think that is one of not so many things she is open about. Maybe she doesn't talk about it much with anyone aside from Hazel, but she doesn't actively hide it.

break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

If someone made her open up, that would leave har a mess. Also losing important figures in her life. She cares about little things building her life and she would fight to have everything as it is, but that wouldn't cause her to break down completely. It's a whole different story when it comes to people (or, well, horses). If someone she cares about was to get killed, things wouldn't be pretty. They wouldn't be able to contain their emotions, all that anger and sadness making them an unstable, dangerous entity. Every time something deeply upsetting happened she was just... crying, laughing and screaming, trying to find something to take her anger out on. The last time something like that happened was when Elisabeth died, so all of the Soul Riders and their horses saw her like that. She needed a couple of weeks to be able to function semi-normally and refuses to acknowledge that it even happened.