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volunteeriowavistas · 6 years

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Voices from the Past: Advice from Last Year’s VISTAs

By: VISTA Leader, Helen Bisioulis

We are at that time of year where we have had many of our VISTAs end their terms and many new VISTAs start. To our VISTAs who have ended their terms: thank you for spending a year of your life tackling poverty here in Iowa. We are so appreciate of your service. To our new VISTAs: welcome on board to the Volunteer Iowa VISTA team! We are so excited to have you as part of our team. Thank you too for dedicating a year of your life tackling poverty in Iowa. Check out the advice that last year’s VISTAs have for you!

Mariah Himes, Iowa Mentoring Partnership Project Coordinator AmeriCorps VISTA July 2016-July 2017, Volunteer Iowa AmeriCorps VISTA Leader August 2017-June 2018

“Make a list of all your big ideas—or small ideas. Just have a handy list of things to do that may or may not relate to your VAD that are NOT urgent, that you can do for fun when you have less to do than is ideal. You make not think so when you first look at your VAD, but there will come times when you will get bored and need something to do, especially something that doesn’t involve being on the computer.

Go to as many conferences and trainings as you can. Meet people from fields you are interested in. Ask them to lunch or coffee; get their story. Make the connections you want.

Constantly seek out new opportunities to learn about things that interest you. Peruse local job opportunities and see what sticks out to you. Look at available positions and, for ones that interest you, review the requirements. Pursue experiences and trainings that will bolster your resume to meet some of those requirements. Use your year of service to build your resume into something with which you can walk confidently into an interview for a job you actually want.

Use your passions and interests at work. Chances are you have lots of room for influence, innovation, and initiative at your site. Fill these spaces with (or create spaces for) activities you love and find creative ways to link them to your VAD. For example, if you are an artist, find or create ways to use your artistry in support of your organization and use it as the asset it is to build capacity in unique ways. One VISTA member was working on recruitment for a nonprofit agency. She was an artist and missed painting, so she developed toolkits to help the volunteers she was recruiting work better with her organizations clients—children in need. The toolkits provided a pathway for the adult volunteers to engage children artistically as they went through tough times at home. These toolkits were not on this VISTA’s VAD, but she used her creativity to link her passion to her work in a way that would leave a lasting impact. Those toolkits will be available to volunteers long after she finishes her service site.”

Helen Bisioulis, Dubuque Circles Initiative AmeriCorps VISTA Volunteer Coordinator August 2016-August 2017, Volunteer Iowa AmeriCorps VISTA Leader August 2017-August 2018

Take advantage of professional development opportunities and networking.. Even if you have been in the social sector for awhile, there is always more to learn. Networking is a great way of securing a job in the community after you are done with VISTA and may even help you get some projects done during your VISTA year. When I was a VISTA at Circles, I volunteered at a local community fair where I met AmeriCorps NCCC members. I was just curious about what they did so I talked to them about it. Well I found out that they were looking for volunteer hours in the community and when I started at Circles, we did not have enough volunteers for the 30 children that we had. This team of 8-10 AmeriCorps NCCC members volunteered for the whole first month of my service term until I was able to recruit volunteers and interns from the local colleges. My co-worker’s jaw dropped when she saw that I had recruited so many volunteers in only a month. You never know where networking may lead!

Furthermore, if you would like to do add more projects to your VISTA year, do not hesitate to do so. While you do have a VISTA Assignment Description (VAD) that lays out your activities for the year, look for gaps that lie in your organization, think about ways that you can improve it. That is the purpose of the VISTA. The VISTA can come into the organization with fresh eyes and see things that others who have worked there for awhile may not have. While I was serving as a VISTA Leader at Volunteer Iowa, I noticed that there was a need for affordable, relatively nice, and safe housing for VISTAs. So, I went about to research such housing in all of the communities that VISTAs are serving in across the state of Iowa. This turned into a 30+ page Iowa Housing Resource Guide that I frequently show to potential employers as an example of the hard work that I am willing to put in, my attention to details, and my ability to address gaps and needs. This was not on my VAD, so don’t be afraid to try something that’s outside of it. A VAD is supposed to be a living document, too, so if you and your supervisor feel the need to change it, do it! With Volunteer Iowa’s permission of course.

Also, if you’re fresh out of college, there is a lot of adjustment that will need to be made to what it’s like to be in the work world. For example, employers like initiative, learn how to take it and be a self-starter. Learn those little things like how a scanning machine works or how to send a fax. All of your work will now be at work so when you go home sometimes, you may be bored. This is where adulting like grocery shopping, cleaning, etc. comes in. Volunteering at a local organization can curb boredom and is good for networking and resume building, especially if you want to stay in the social sector.

And when I say leave work at work, I highly recommend that you do so. For your own mental health and the sake of the organization that you are serving in, take care of yourself and don’t overdo it. If you get burnt out, that not only negatively effects your health but the well-being of the organization that you are serving at because they are missing out on all of your great energy and ideas! Burn out will happen but doing things like setting up boundaries between work and home, will lessen the impact of it. I also recommend the following very basic self-care tips:

1. Drink enough water.

2. Eat at least two meals a day.

3. Get between 6-9 hours of sleep a night. Set a regular bedtime.

4. Make room for something fun everyday.

5. Exercise daily, even if it’s just going for a 10 minute walk, it’s something that is getting your body moving.

Benet Conlin, Iowa Community Action Association VISTA March 2017-March 2018

“I'm not sure what I wish I knew before getting started. I was prepared to be it on my own- I didn't know anything about a vista leader or that even when applying you could talk with them.”

Jasmine Sronkoski, Community Foundation of Greater Dubuque Community Engagement VISTA, April 2017-December 2017

“Capacity Building and indirect service is tough and a slow but important process

Your VAD is important, and be open for it to change. Let it guide the work you do, but don't feel like you have to be rigid to it

Discuss compensation time during the first few weeks of service and get it in writing - this is important when taking care of yourself. Although service is a 365 day position, there comes a time when it is necessary to take a break. Don't feel like you are lacking in doing so.

Get to know the support systems in place in the community and ask for help when necessary”

Jackey Melton, United Way of Wapello County Literacy Coordinator AmeriCorps VISTA, April 2017-April 2018

“1. Make friends with the other VISTAs.

2. Be helpful.

3. You must step out of your comfort zone.

4. Be patient. You will learn and understand your VAD.

5. Have fun. Life is short.”

Kay Wolfkill, Iowa Mentoring Partnership AmeriCorps VISTA May 2017-April 2018

“The only thing I wish I would've known is more about my service site. So like I wish I would've taken more time to get to know the organization I signed up to serve in, what others' experience is, how prominent they are in the nonprofit scene, etc.

I would also add in there to never be afraid to ask your supervisor or coworkers for growth opportunities or any projects they have to pass down to you so you can learn something new. You'd be surprised how often you have the opportunity to gain experience or exposure to something if you just ask to sit in on meetings, help with a task, etc. This was especially helpful for me because part of joining VISTA was to figure out if I even wanted to continue on in the nonprofit sector so I wanted to take advantage of every possible opportunity to learn.”

Connor Milliken, Iowa Community Action Association AmeriCorps VISTA, June 2017-June 2018

“Be flexible to change. As a VISTA, you have to attend to different activities. Don’t let it overwhelm you, just embrace it. VISTA is not only about your host site but connecting to other VISTAs. There are a lot of different avenues to be involved. It is important to take direction & collaborate. Embrace the inbetweenness, don’t let it make you anxious. You may have some downtime, don’t become complacent. But you’ll also have times when you’re really busy.”

Melanie Bressler, Community Foundation of Greater Dubuque Community Legacy Program VISTA, June 2017-June 2018

“I would’ve signed up for government assistance ASAP, knowing that other VISTAs did it, too. You can do stuff that just interests you for your own personal and professional development. And you don’t have to follow your VAD to a T.”

Miranda Bellah, Iowa Public Television AmeriCorps VISTA, July 2017-July 2018

“1. Be assertive.

2. No more than 20% of your work should be busywork.

3. Speak with previous VISTAs about what the workplace culture is like at your site.”

#national service #americorps #americorps vista #vista #iowa

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prettyyoungtragedy · 7 years

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You and I, Just the two of us- Chapter 8

You and I, just the two of us - (AU!) 8

James (Bucky) x reader, – Steve x reader

Summary: The reader is reeling from a life changing event; a year later can she finally move on? Or will the past come tumbling down like an avalanche…

A/N: kind of sad? IDK. I had writers block so send help.

Word Count: 5430

Warnings: Angsty? That’s all I can think of,

1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9|10

Your pone buzzed on your desk again, for the 30th time that morning. Ignoring it, you continued to work on the project before you, it had been two weeks since James had woken up and you were avidly avoiding the hospital, him, Natasha and practically everyone in your life. After your outburst at the hospital you had to be sedated by hospital staff due to the severity of your panic attack and you were tired of answering questions on whether you were okay, or if you needed anything, or how you were feeling.

James was slowly recovering, he had been discharged from the hospital and was now at home. His mother saw it that he had the best care, and there were round the clock psychiatrists and neurologists working to help him regain his memories.

Natasha had asked you numerous times to go and see him, but you refused. After he had kicked you out of his room the day he woke up, you just somehow could not face him. It was not that you were mad at him, it was something else entirely.

Your phone buzzed again, irritated you looked at it, it was Steve. He had been texting you all morning and trying to call you. You had tried to avoid him as well, but he was relentless in trying to see you. He was probably the only person you had made an exception for and had seen him recently, but he could sense the distance between the two of you and you had your first fight a few nights ago, over your recent behavior and at the fact that Steve was going to be taking a project that was in Barcelona and he would be gone for 3 months. Steve couldn’t understand why you were closing yourself off from everyone, and you didn’t have the energy to explain it to him. So you had left his apartment in the middle of the night and You hadn’t seen him since.

Glancing at the screen you read his string of text messages,

‘Y/N, I am your fucking boyfriend, can you please answer me!’ 8:05AM

‘I don’t think its very fair to ignore me, seeing as you walked out on me.’ 11:02AM

‘This is a real mature way to deal with your issues, can you please talk to me? I am here for you’ 1:22PM

‘Is this about us? Do you need space?’ 1:55PM

‘I am not going to stop until you answer me, please you are stressing me out.’ 5:40PM

After 3 more calls, more texts.

‘I love you baby, just tell me what is going on…please’ 6:30PM

‘Fine, don’t talk to me. I’ll be waiting when you are ready I guess.’ 8:22PM

You sighed loudly and slumped your head down into your arms, on your desk. It had been an exhausting two weeks, you didn’t know whether you were coming or going at this point and all you had been doing was burying yourself in work. You knew you were going to have to talk to Steve eventually, so you grabbed your phone and typed out a short reply,

‘I’m sorry…’ and then you hit send.

Almost immediately your phone rang, and it was Steve.

“Hello Steve,” you answered,

“Hey babe,” he said softly,

“Can we talk?”

“Of course, do you want to meet somewhere?” he asked,

You glance at the clock, it was almost 9PM. Most of the staff in the lab had left, you were one of the only ones still working or so you assumed.

“Yeah, meet me at my place? In 20 minutes?” You said,

“Okay, I love you,” Steve said,

You didn’t respond, just hung up. Quickly packing up your belongings you hailed a cab and headed. The night was cool and crisp, spring had finally come, and you could see the rain clouds threatening in the sky.

When you arrived at your apartment, Steve was already there, sitting on the steps looking at his phone.

“Hey,” you greeted him, and he immediately jumped to his feet practically dragging you into a hug.

“Hi,” he breathed, breathlessly kissing your face,

“Come on, lets go upstairs,” you said, pulling yourself out of his grip and heading up the stairs into your building, Steve following you.

Once inside, you set about getting dinner ready while Steve sat by the island counter, watching you. You were both quiet for a few minutes before Steve broke the silence.

“So, you wanted to talk?” He said,

Your back was facing him as you stirred the alfredo pasta you were currently making. “To be honest, I don’t know what to say,” you replied, turning around and leaning against the counter, looking at him.

“Well maybe start with telling me why you haven’t wanted to see me for almost four days?” Steve prompted,

You sighed, crossing your arms over your chest and pinched the bridge of your nose. “Steve, you had just told me you were leaving for 3 months, half way across the world in a weeks’ time.” You said, “I don’t know what you expected my reaction to be,”

“Y/N, that’s not fair, its not like I wanted this, its my job!” Steve replied, seeming slightly exasperated,

“I know that, but all I am saying is maybe a fair warning next time?” you shot back, “How am I supposed to just be okay when you up and leave for 3 months so suddenly?”

“I didn’t know it was going to be so sudden when I took the role, babe,” He said gently, “Its not like I planned this,”

You turned away from him, not wanting him to see the tears welling in your eyes, “Yeah well, like you said it’s your job, so there is nothing left to say.” You said coldly, quickly wiping the tears from your eyes, you had already sort of lost Bucky and now the thought of Steve leaving you as well, was just setting you off on a spiral you weren’t ready to deal with.

Steve had obviously seen you were upset, so he came over to where you stood ad wrapped his arms around your waist, nuzzling your neck. “Y/N, I am sorry that it was so sudden, but the time will go by really quickly and I will be back before you know it,” he said softly, kissing your shoulder and neck affectionately.

You sighed, “I know, I’m sorry Steve,” you said turning to face him, wrapping your arms around his waist and placing your head on his chest.

He held you tightly against him, “I’m sorry too,” he replied quietly,

You knew you were being irrational about him leaving and fighting with him wasn’t the best idea at a time like this, especially right before he left but you were still upset by all of it. And then suddenly standing there in the kitchen with him holding you, it hit you, why you were so upset about him leaving. You were in love with him, but now was not the right time for you to be admitting that. Not since he was leaving in 3 days’ time.

Steve and yourself had a quiet dinner and then turned on the Netflix, snuggling up on the couch. It was everything you needed after the last few days, but your mind began to wander to thought of Bucky and you were suddenly wracked with guilt for not seeing him or even asking after how he was. You sighed and snuggled closer to Steve, relishing the warmth his hulking muscular body provided,

“I’m going to miss this,” you murmured, running your hand over his hard chest,

“So am I,” he responded encircling his arms around you, “Definitely, going to miss the normality of home,”

“Three months isn’t too long though,” you deliberated, “We can do this as much as it will suck.”

“Doesn’t help that its right in the beginning of our relationship,” he replied, with a sigh

“I think we should just have lots of sex and stay in bed for the remainder of our time left,” you joked, grinning at him,

Steve laughed, “That’s the best idea I have ever heard,” he said playfully, leaning forward capturing your mouth with his, kissing you passionately.

“Well what are we waiting for then?” you teased, Steve just raised an eyebrow at you with a smirk on his face before he tackled you, both of you falling back onto the couch, making out like teenagers.

_______________________________________

It was Friday morning; the day Steve was leaving for 3 months. You had woken up before him and snuck off to the kitchen to make him breakfast in bed. The last three days the two of you had spent together was full of sex, love and companionship, every time you thought he couldn’t make you happier, he somehow unknowingly proved you wrong.

You were busy placing the plate of waffles on a tray when there was a notification from the laptop on the counter, as the screen lit up. It was Steve’s laptop, you had glanced at it for a moment, but looked more closely when you saw your name on the screen.

Curiosity won over and you walked over to the laptop and looked at the screen. Your stopped short when you saw the article headline,

‘Meet Y/N Y/L/N, Steve Rogers latest conquest.’

‘The young Y/N was spotted multiple times over the last few months out with Steve Rogers, the golden boy of the silver screen. It seems Steve was quite taken with the young scientist who leads the research and development department at Stark Industries. She seems rather plain for the devastatingly handsome Steve Rogers, but that hasn’t seemed to deter him. As he was spotted visiting her home multiple times this month, the pair were seen at Lennox Hill hospital earlier this month where James Buchanan Barnes, heir to the billion-dollar Barnes industries, was hospitalized after a car accident. Mr Barnes is a close friend of Y/N, our sources are told.

The question remains, is Steve Rogers the golden boy of the silver screen and plain scientist Y/N Y/LN in a relationship or is she his little pet project? Or is this a case of young rich millionaire meets gold digger? After all she knows how to bag billionaires, seeing her relationship with James Buchanan Barnes.’

Below the article, there were multiple photos of Steve and you, out and about in New York. Bookshops coffee shops, restaurants.

You read through the article with a shocked look on your face, how the hell had they found out where you lived or your name or your friendship with Bucky. You knew Bucky wasn’t a stranger to being on page 6, his family were a bunch of billionaires and socialites who had built half of the Manhattan skyline, but you were never part of that life of his. Your mind raked through possibilities, suddenly feeling very exposed. You knew that they were going to start combing through your whole life now and this was just going to thrust you into the public spotlight, and you were already panicking.

Steve suddenly startled you by walking into the kitchen, “Morning,” he said huskily giving you a kiss on the cheek,

“Shit, you scared me,” you replied placing a hand over your thumping chest.

He looked you over with a raised eyebrow, “What are you doing?” he asked, “Ooh waffles,” he distracted himself for a moment grabbing a plate of waffles then looked back at you, waiting for you to answer him.

You didn’t say anything, instead you turned his laptop toward him and gestured to the article. Steve quietly read the article with an unreadable expression, while he ate the waffle in front of him. Then he looked at you,

“I’m sorry you had to see this,” he sighed, putting his fork down and coming up to you, “But these sites thrive on spouting bullshit like this,”

“I know, but it doesn’t make it any less hurtful. They called me a fucking gold digger who knows how to bag billionaires!” You said, becoming slightly riled up.

Steve chuckled to your incredulity, “Oh I am glad you think this is funny,” you snapped at him, moving to grab the waffles you had just made,

“Ah come on baby, it’s a little funny plus I am not a billionaire, so you aren’t THAT good at bagging billionaires,” Steve joked,

You couldn’t help but crack a smile at his comment, he was making light of the situation because he knew it was upsetting you and you appreciated him for that. “Whatever you say, Mr I’m the golden boy of the silver screen,” you teased, with a hearty laugh,

“Oh so that’s how it is,” he taunted back,

“Ohhh that’s how it is” You mocked, flicking whipped cream at him,

Steve feigned being upset at your action and lunged at you, armed with the bottle of whipped cream and sprayed it all over you. Shouting in delight, you tried to evade him, but you weren’t fast enough as he grabbed you by the waist and sprayed whipped cream all over your hair,

“Steeeveee!” you shouted, with a laugh, trying to push him away.

He peppered kisses across your face, licking the whipped cream he had just sprayed all over you.

Thinking quickly, you grabbed the can from his hand and enacted revenge spraying him with twice as much as he had you, then with an evil laugh you grabbed the flour off the counter and tossed a handful at him.

Steve let you go, a shocked look on his face before of you burst out laughing. Not wanting to lose, Steve grabbed faucet from the sink and turned it on, spraying chilly water all over you.

“Oh my god, Steven Stop!” you yelled, dodging out the way,

Steve turned off the water, both of you looking at each other with big childish grins on your faces. Then suddenly Steve took two sure strides towards you and swept you off your feet, gripping you in his muscular arms he placed you on the counter island and began kissing you. Holding your body flush against his.

His lips brushed against your jaw, worked down your throat, and you let out a contented sigh. Steve kissed your lips, with a bruising kiss as his hands pushed your legs apart, brushing across your core with barely there pleasure. Both of you already visibly turned on, as he pulled you closer to him and thrusting gently as he took you on the counter top. He took his time, savoring everything about you as he held your body to his, chest to chest, sighing with the pleasure you both brought each other, it was slow and passionate, it was love making.

A few hours later you had said your goodbyes to Steve as he got into a town car and headed to the airport, where you wouldn’t see him for 3 months. Then made your way to Stark tower to begin your work day, but as you got to the tower you saw a familiar town car parked at the curb and an even more familiar face leaning against it, wearing a pair of black sunglasses.

James noticed you immediately and stood up straight, raising his hand slightly in greeting to you. Sighing, you walked over to him, already knowing you were going to regret this.

“Hello stranger,” He said, giving you a kiss on the cheek,

“Hi Buck…James” You said, immediately correcting yourself when you remembered how he had reacted to you calling him Bucky a few weeks back,

“How are you?” You asked, when there was an awkward silence that fell between the two of you,

“I am doing great thanks,” He responded nervously, shifting from foot to foot,

You just nodded not knowing what to say to him, there was an air of awkwardness between the two of you. James was quiet for a moment, then he took his sunglasses off, “Y/N, I owe you an apology for my behavior two weeks ago,” he said,

“James it’s fine,” you immediately cut in, not wanting to have this conversation with him standing on a curb,

“No its not, Rebecca told me how you’d been there the entire time since my accident, and I wanted to thank you for that,” He insisted,

“Don’t thank me, its what friends do,” you replied, giving him a tightlipped smile

“I have a gift for you,” James said, grinning, then turned back to the car and reached in grabbing a neatly wrapped large rectangle box and handing it to you,

“What is this?” You asked, taking the box from him, “I really don’t need a gift James,”

“Please take it, it’s your birthday tomorrow and I only thought of you when I saw it, it actually helped bring back some of my memories,” James replied,

You looked down at then box and then at him, his dazzling blue eyes shining in the morning sun. He was still as handsome as you had remembered, distractingly so.

“Well thanks, I should really get to work now,” you said quickly, and began walking away from him,

“Wait, Y/N” James called out, “Can we have dinner tonight?”

You turned to him, standing just a few feet away, “I can’t tonight, I have dinner with Natasha,” you lied,

James’ face lit up when you said that, “Great, we can all have dinner together then, I’ll invite Sam.” He said,

You groaned inwardly, you were trying to avoid having dinner with him or anyone for that matter. You just wanted to be at home in your PJ’s tonight, but you knew the moment James called Natasha your little lie would become apparent, so you thought on your feet.

“Oh good.” You said a little sarcastically, “I’ll give her a call then,”

A big smile broke out on his face and before he could say anything you turned foot and walked away from him, your whole mood souring due to the encounter.

You dumped your belongings and James’ gift on your workstation, and pulled out your phone in a huff. Quickly texting Natasha,

‘Dinner? Tonight? With Sam and Bucky?’ Then hit send and waited for her response which was only seconds later,

‘Sounds good to me,’ she responded,

‘Meet me at the office after work,’ you replied and then placed your phone on the desk, with a loud sigh. How had your life gone from being so great one second to being filled with anxiety, awkwardness and shitty feelings, you thought.

Knowing you needed to get started with work soon, you flipped open your laptop and begun working on your latest project. Plugging in your headphones and turning the music up so not to be disturbed. You managed to get through most of the day without being interrupted and made progress on your project when Maria came ambling up to your desk with a delivery, by late afternoon.

“Is it your birthday?” Maria asked, placing the beautifully wrapped package, along with a large bouquet of flowers on your desk.

As she said that, you realized it was your birthday tomorrow and you had been so preoccupied that it had completely slipped your mind. You had always ignored your birthday, but Natasha and Bucky always made a big deal out of it for you, and this year they were both otherwise preoccupied, so you weren’t expecting anything. Which is why the gift came as a surprise,

“Uh yeah tomorrow,” you mumbled, distractedly as you took the card from her.

“Are you celebrating it? Is the gift from Steve? What is it?” Maria blasted you with questions,

“I don’t know, to all of those questions,” you replied to her, throwing her a look. Maria always had 101 questions,

“Well open it and read it, I want to know!” She said, sounding a little exasperated

You rolled your eyes, and pulled the card out the envelope, and you immediately froze when you read the letter head. It was from Luke, and it read:

‘Happy Birthday beautiful, I know I am a day early but have a marvelous day and I hope you love the gift, Morganite always was your favorite.

All my love

Yours always

Luke

Maria saw the look on your face while you read the card, “Are you okay?” she asked quietly,

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine,” you replied, a little too quickly, you dropped the card onto the desk and reached for the package.

When you opened the package, your throat constricted. It was the necklace and earrings he had gotten you when you were engaged, it was a gift for you to wear to the wedding. Maria didn’t say anything, she just placed a hand on your shoulder and gave you a sympathetic look before walking away.

You sighed back tears that were threatening to fall, and closed the box. This was the last thing you needed today was to be dealing with the feeling Luke brought you. You looked at your desk and realized you hadn’t opened the gift James had given you, as you were about to reach for it, Bruce walked into the lab, followed by Natasha to your surprise.

“Hey you two,” You say getting up to greet them,

“Hello Y/N” Natasha said, giving you a big hug,

Bruce offered you a quick peck on the cheek in greeting, “What are you doing here?” You asked,

“Well, we do have dinner plans and its your birthday tomorrow, don’t think we forgot” Natasha said, grinning at you,

“Here” Bruce said, handing you a package, “An early gift from Nat and I,”

You took the blue Tiffany gift bag from there, “Ah you guys really didn’t have to,”

“Shut up and open it!” Nat said excitedly, to which you obliged her and pulled out a little box. You opened the first one and there was a silver bracelet with three little charms on it, two stars and a heart. You looked at the small inscription on the stars, it read Ronan Cillian and Jonathan Rhys and the heart had the inscription of your initials on it.

You looked at Nat and Bruce in surprise, “Is this…?” you asked, breathlessly excited.

Nat nodded, and you practically squealed with joy and hugged her and Bruce. “We’re having boys!” Bruce said excitedly,

“Oh my god, I am so happy for you!” You said, tearing up, your emotions getting the better of you in the moment, “This is the best birthday present, thank you”. Natasha hugged you again with tears in her eyes,

“Come on let’s not be sappy about this its your birthday tomorrow!” Bruce said clapping his hands, “I think we should head out and go get ready for dinner with James and Sam.”

It was just after seven when stood in front of the mirror in the hallway of your apartment, putting on a jacket before heading downstairs to hail a cab. As you made your way down the steps of your apartment building, you saw James once again, leaning against his town car, waiting for you.

“What are you doing here?” You asked walking up to him,

“Picking you up,” he responded with a smile opening the door for you to get in,

“Yeah but why?” You retort not getting in,

“Y/N, get your ass in the car, or I will toss you over my shoulder walk you there,” James chuckled, ignoring your obvious annoyance with him.

“Fine,” you snapped and got into the car, choosing to sit on the other side as far away from him a possible.

Once the car ride had begun, James looked at you, “You look amazing,” he said, grinning at you, you glanced at him, it was that stupid cocky grin of his, the one that made his eyes light up and the sides of his eyes crinkle as he flashed his perfect teeth. Clearly the old James was back,

“What, not even some thanks?” He said, pretending to be offended, “Come on grumpy, what’s going on?”

“I’m not grumpy.” You snapped at him,

James raised an eyebrow at you, “Oh yeah sure you aren’t.” He said sarcastically, “I know you well enough by now to know that when you say you’re fine, you’re not.”

You sighed, “Even if I wanted to tell you what was wrong, you wouldn’t remember half of it, so there’s no point,” you snapped,

A hurt look flashed across his face and you instantly regretted saying that, “Buck-James, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.” You said quickly, trying to retract your statement.

James shook his head and looked away for a moment staring out the window in silence. “You can call me Bucky, you know” he said quietly,

“What?”

“Just because I don’t remember certain things, doesn’t mean I have forgotten everything. And if you had come and visited me more often you would know that my memory is almost 90% back” James said, turning to look at you,

You were wracked with guilt, and didn’t know what to say to him. So instead you just looked down at your hands letting the feelings of guilt take over.

“It’s okay though,” he continued, “I was an ass to you when I woke up, I get why you stayed away,”

“James, I wante..” you begin

“Bucky”

“What?”

“Call me Bucky,” he repeated, “You always have when you were being endearing,”

You sighed, “Bucky, I wanted to see you, more than anything but this has just been a very exhausting last month for me, and I needed the space.”

He nodded, “I get it, but I’ll always be here for you Y/N, you know that right. Memory or not, I could never forget you,” he reached for your hand, lacing his fingers between yours.

Bucky was looking at you intensely, “I know Buck,” you replied quietly, giving him a small smile. “I am just glad you’re okay,”

The rest of the car ride was spent in relative silence until you arrived at the venue you were having dinner at. It was one of your favorite restaurants in Manhattan, Butter. You smiled at the fact that Bucky had remembered. The two of you made your way inside, and one of the hostesses greeted you and the led you to the private dining area,

As soon as you stepped into the private dining room, you were greeted by a unanimous shout of SURPRISE. Startling you, you looked around the room in surprise, all your friends and family had gathered for the dinner, even your mother.

“W-what, oh my god,” You stuttered in surprise, looking at Bucky, he had a big grin on his face,

“Happy early Birthday Y/N” he said giving you a kiss on the cheek,

Then your friends and family all started stepping forward to greet you, “Mother!” you exclaimed when she came to give you a hug, “What are you doing here?! When did you get here?”

“I figured since we missed out on Christmas, we could celebrate your birthday together,” She replied, holding your face between her hands, “and it gave me a chance to see James after his accident, that you never told me about!” she scolded, turning around to hold Bucky’s hand,

“Well, I am happy you’re here Mother,” you said, smiling at her and Bucky,

A few minutes later, everyone had taken their seats at the massive dinner table that had been set up, waiters taking everyone’s orders, and you sipped on crisp champagne. Seated between Bucky, and Sam, opposite you was Natasha, Bruce and your mother. Your mom was excitedly gushing with Bruce and Nat about their pregnancy, you had noted that she had mentioned she wished for a grandchild soon too, to which you rolled your eyes.

The evening was perfect, food was divine, and the drinks were even better. You were starting to have a wonderful time, and dessert was just being served when Natasha clinked her glass with a knife to get everyone’s attention.

“Hello everyone,” She said standing up, holding a glass of water, “Thank you all so much for coming, before we continue with the festivities, I would just like to say a huge thank you to Bucky for putting this all together on such short notice,” Natasha raised her glass to him, and he smiled nodding at her, Sam whooped and slapped his shoulder affectionately.

“So here’s to Y/N, may this new year bring you all the happiness you deserve!” She said, everyone cheered and raised their glasses.

Then Bucky stood up, clearing his throat nervously and looked at you, biting his lower lip slightly.

“Oh this should be good,” Same whispered to you, jokingly and both of you snickered.

“Hi, I suppose everyone here knows me, but If you don’t I’m James, AKA Bucky. Guess Uhm, we are here to celebrate one of the most phenomenal women I know” Bucky looked at you, his face serious, “Y/N, you are possibly, and I speak for myself here, the most amazing woman I have ever met. You’re fearless and empowered and beautiful, inside and out, and you are and probably always will be the queen of my heart. Here’s to you and your phenomenal future.” He raised his glass, and clinked it with yours.

You were shocked, no one in that moment knew how to react to Bucky’s speech. You glanced at Natasha’s face, and she looked severely unimpressed by his words,

“Uhh correct if I’m wrong, but that sounded like a declaration of love,” Sam whispered to you,

“Sam.” You hissed, “Shut up,”

Bucky turned to you when he took his seat again, “I adore you,” he said softly, placing a kiss on your cheek. Your heart was thumping in your chest and you shifted uncomfortably as you looked across the table at both your mother’s face and Natasha’s, neither of them looked very happy with what they were witnessing.

“I’m going to get some air,” you say suddenly, getting up from the table, exiting the room discreetly. The moment you had stepped out of the room, you exhaled deeply, and then made your way to the nearest balcony.

You pulled your phone out when you stepped out onto the balcony, shivering against the cool breeze. You had forgotten to grab your jacket. You scrolled through your contacts and found the number you were looking for. Then quickly typed out a message,

‘I miss you,’ you typed then hit send.

A minute later, your screen lit up with a response from Steve,

‘I miss you too, and I love you’

You looked at his reply and then held your phone to your chest. You really did miss Steve and I hadn’t even been a day since he had left.

“You okay?” a voice behind you, startling you, it was Bucky.

“God dammit Buck, when are you ever not going to sneak up on me!” you exclaimed,

Bucky chuckled and shrugged his jacket off, placing it around your shoulders. “Maybe don’t be so easy to scare” he replied,

You just shook your head and looked out at the city lights before you, Bucky stood next to you, both of you quiet for a few minutes.

“Y/N,” Bucky says softly, “I need to talk to you,”

“I know Bucky,”

“I adore you,” he said huskily, turning to you,

“And I you,” was your response,

“I love you,” Bucky said,

You were quiet to his confession, not knowing what to say.

Your heart started hammering in your chest, and you looked at him. His face was solemn and serious but his eyes soft, and loving. “I have for a long time” Bucky said, cupping your face in his hands, “You make me feel alive, and good and you make me a better person, when I said I was waiting for the right person, I meant I was waiting for you.”

“Bucky…” you murmured, “I’m sorry…I can’t,”

“No, just listen, don’t say anything,” he hushed you, closing his eyes his placed his forehead on yours, “I love you, with all my heart and I am unashamed to admit it. All these memories that have been coming back, you’re this guiding light in them, I can’t explain it.”

“Buck…I am with Steve,” you whisper,

“I will wait Y/N, I don’t care how long, I will wait for you, whether it be five years or fifteen,” Bucky whispered, still holding your face close to his, your heart was pounding in your chest as you looked into his ice blue eyes beneath the moonlight. They shone like stars in the sky,

Tears threatening to fall, you swallowed the lump in your throat. Bucky kissed your forehead softly then placed a kiss on your cheeks, “I’m sorry,” he murmured, brushing the tears away with his thumb and then turned and exited the balcony.

xxx

TAGS: @addictionmarvel @jessla185 @seargantbcky

Please leave me some feedback, I’d really appreciate it!

#steve x reader #Steve Rogers #au!steve rogers #bucky barnes #reader x bucky #au!bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #fanfiction #marvel au #marvel fic #natasha romanoff #au!bruce #bruce banner #luke charles #au!sam wilson #sam wilson #alternate universe #Sebastian Stan #reader

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momentumgo · 5 years

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Arielle Ray

Motion graphics journalist/Art Director www.arielleray.com/ New York, NY

How did you get your start in motion design, animation, or whatever it is that you do?

My start in motion graphics was definitely odd; I didn’t really know it was a job that you could have. In high school I knew that animation was a profession and that I could work at Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network or Disney, but that seemed impossible to achieve. I’ve always liked to draw but not THAT much. I didn’t have a stellar art portfolio (mine was pretty mediocre because I didn’t have a style or apply myself) and I knew I needed a scholarship if I wanted to stay out of debt. I was also a little be terrified of the perceived impracticality of art school (my whole family is in STEM), so I ended up going a more academic route.

I ended up in a Visual Journalism program with a double major in English Literature and an Art Minor within the communications school. While there I slowly gravitated towards all of the design classes, and I thought I would end up in infographics/dataviz or doing editorial layouts online.The project that landed me in motion graphics was part of an independent study. I was supposed to be building a whole interactive site based on census data to showcase my dataviz skills...then the government shutdown happened. Fun fact, no government, no census data. So my professor told me that the science department needed an educational video aimed at middle/late elementary schoolers about aphids.

It was 5 minutes long and completely illustrated. It honestly looked like a highly animated powerpoint. My professor didn’t know how to use After Effects and neither did I. I had no idea how to parent or pre-comp things, and I think I just did a crash course in Lynda tutorials and selective googling.The project has over 200 unparented layers in one very long comp. There is no easing and the aphid has the weirdest, wobbliest walk ever. There were tears. It ended up being oddly charming though, so I got an A in the class.

Early career: I moved to NY the summer after college for a paid internship at a magazine. I was the art department intern and mostly ended up digitizing archival photos. I used my extra time to brush up my portfolio and do personal projects so I would be job-ready. I dropped off my resume at a few booths at a journalism career fair (pro tip: designers, make your resume super extra. Have a designed version and a Microsoft Word version, you’ll stand out that way) and I got a call back from the Wall Street Journal. Based on my wonky aphid video I got hired as a video department “illustration” intern doing day turn around, graphics-forward news videos. I spent a lot of time making assets, and then slowly began to edit entire videos. When I was hired on as a staff member, I made 1.5-4 minute explainer videos on everything from opioids to ISIS to Hamilton. I now work for Quartz, another media outlet and I art direct for the video department, do a lot of branding work as well as occasionally writing reporting and producing my own videos.

I use basically all of the skills that I learned in college, my English Lit major helps when writing scripts, I use my journalism background when interviewing people and doing research, my fine arts background comes in handy when it comes to illustration, my graphic design background helps with composition, art direction and color theory.

I’ve never freelanced and just moved from journalism outfit to journalism outfit doing motion graphics and I feel like I stumbled into the perfect career. I get a ton of freedom in that my team kind of lets me animate what I want, and I don’t have brand guidelines or a client brief to follow. That being said, the story is always king in journalism, so my visuals will always take a backseat to the reporting and changing timelines are common. The script/voice over is never truly locked. Your animation can get cut and it doesn’t matter how hard you worked on it or how much you love it.

I’m also on staff, and that comes with stability and health insurance and I really love that. I think I could ultimately push myself to be more creative and make more money if I freelanced, but I am very risk averse and cannot handle living in a city as expensive as NY without a steady paycheck.

At the end of the day, I really love my job, and I feel very successful doing what I’m doing. I don’t know if I’ll ever have time to produce Motionographer level work, or do a short film, but I feel creatively fulfilled and am really proud of a lot of my work.

State your privilege – What circumstances may have helped or hindered you along the way?

I was lucky enough to go to high school in a place that allowed for a lot of AP classes so I started college with a bunch of credits, allowing me to finish a double major and minor in 4 years. Those AP classes also got me a scholarship and between that and my parents help, I didn’t have to take out any loans. I worked some to take care of minor living expenses but because I was financially secure, I could choose jobs that helped my design skills and I took on 3 unpaid summer internships. I landed my internship through an alumni of my college, and that internship paid me a lump sum that covered my living expenses. I would not have taken the NYC leap without the money. My parents stopped supporting me when I moved to NY but I always knew I could move back home.

Starting out in journalism is a bit rough, and it is very, very hard to do if you have debt. You are expected to work 10-14 hour days on an intern’s salary (sometimes minimum wage) for that 3-6 months, and you are also expected to be grateful to be there. From there, there is often another level of indentured servitude called a fellowship, where you are paid under $45k (sometimes as low as $30k) and locked into that for a year. After that you have to hope you do a good enough job for that outlet to hire you/or that the outlet has the budget to bring on another staff member (they often don’t).

I was able to skip the fellowship stage but was still being paid a fellowship salary. The benefit was, I was able to negotiate a slightly better salary within 6 months. I would not be able to have reach where I am without my parents’ financial help in college, and I would not have taken such risks if I had debt.

What advice do you have for those just starting out?

I don’t know that I would want to do mograph without the journalism, but I also wouldn’t necessarily advise getting into journalism. You have to really, really love it. I personally do love my career and feel extremely fulfilled by it. I love that I have so much control over my work and sometimes tackle subjects that really make a difference, and I’m constantly intellectually and creatively stimulated. I also wonder if staying in journalism is worth it. Layoffs are always imminent and getting paid what you’re worth is a constant political game of competing offers and posturing. You can never really look past the next 6 months for guarantees. Unfortunately, journalism is a contracting industry and in New York City there are a million new Columbia grads every year who would be very willing to replace you for pennies. A graphics background makes you special, but not special enough to make you irreplaceable.

In your design work, be flexible, be multidisciplinary, and don’t be intimidated by other people’s work. Figure out that unique thing that you bring to the table and don’t be afraid to volunteer for things that are only tangentially related to what you do, you’ll be amazed what you can learn in the process. Don’t be afraid of negative feedback, it’ll make you better, but also don’t take it completely to heart. Communication is key, and that, more than software and design skills will make you invaluable to your team.

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booksbroadwaybbc · 6 years

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Why SMART Goals Are Stupid (and What to Use Instead) via /r/selfimprovement

Why SMART Goals Are Stupid (and What to Use Instead)

[Note: This originally got dinged by the automod because I linked to an infographic from a website (not my own) explaining SMART goals. Fixed now.]

Setting goals is the first step to success in any endeavour (Canadian spelling throughout, sorry!). In your self-improvement journey, you’ve likely heard about setting SMART goals, in particular. This method is commonly touted as the ideal way to set goals.

However, I think that in the context of personal development, setting goals under this framework is a mistake.

In this post, I’ll give you an in-depth explanation as to why SMART goals aren’t so smart after all. Plus, I’ll show you the goal-setting system I’ve developed, which I credit for a massive portion of my own personal success (which includes getting a full-time tech internship, maintaining a 3.9 GPA in a STEM field, and more).

The Pros of SMART Goals

If you’re not familiar with SMART goals, they are goals (obviously!) which are:

1. Specific: Your goals need to be well-defined. You should be able to say exactly what your goal is, where you can go to accomplish it, who you will need to work with, and what resources you need access to accomplish it.

2. Measurable: Your goals need to be trackable. If you cannot track your successes and failures, you’ll never know what you’ve accomplished.

3. Attainable: SMART goals are realistic and achievable.

4. Relevant: Your goals need to align with the vision you have of the life you want to live.

5. Time Based: Your goals need to have specific target dates.

There is some research that this method of goal-setting is effective. And I think they are definitely useful in some cases.

In particular, SMART goals are great for tackling projects in an academic or corporate environment.

The problem is, academia and stuffy corporate offices are typically not representative of The Real World™. And they’re certainly not representative of the type of environment you should create to foster personal growth.

The Cons of SMART Goals

The reason this method is inappropriate for personal development is twofold.

First, the idea that the changes you should make to optimize your health, finances, and relationships are necessarily easily attainable is laughable.

There’s a good chance that only massive change can bring you to the life you want to lead. Further, studies show that people actually perform better in the face of challenging goals.

Second, the focus of SMART goals is entirely on the goal-setting process.

Obviously, setting goals is desirable. But the process is useless unless it’s accompanied by a framework for pursuing them.

An Optimized Alternative

For those of you interested in becoming richer, happier, and healthier, I’ve developed my own system. Instead of setting SMART goals, you should be setting GROWTH goals.

GROWTH goals are...

1. Game-Changing:

You need to set goals that will change how you play the game of life. Forget about “achievable” or “realistic” goals. You need to push yourself to get results.

Do you think that when Michael Phelps was growing up, he thought “my goal is to qualify for the Olympics”? No way. He wanted to be the greatest of all time and worked accordingly. You don’t become the most decorated Olympian of all time by aiming low.

Find your Olympics and aim to become its Michael Phelps.

2. Reviewable:

Review your goals regularly and ask yourself the following questions:

-> Am I on track?

-> Could I be doing more to reach my goal(s)?

-> Is my goal still properly aligned with my vision?

Suppose that you had set a goal to lose fat. In particular, you’ve decided that you’d like to drop down to a body fat percentage of 15%. You might reach 16% or 17% BF and realize that you have a lot more to lose to get the physique you want. That’s okay, simply adjust the goal accordingly. In this case, you might want to now aim for 12% BF and calibrate your diet accordingly.

Conversely, it’s possible to set a goal that will need to be adjusted in the other direction, so that it aligns with your future vision. For example, continuing with the fat loss scenario, you might set a goal of 9% BF but once you reach 11% BF, you notice your strength training is suffering. If strength is more important to you than having a shredded body, there’s nothing wrong with re-adjusting your fat loss goal to suit that.

(Note: I am not advocating for you to give up on your goals early and convince yourself that you are fine with mediocrity. Be honest with yourself.)

By reviewing your goals, you’ll know before you reach them that they need to be adjusted. Not after you’ve already “succeeded”.

The frequency with which you should review your goals will depend on your overarching time-frame. A good rule of thumb is to take an inventory of your finances, health, and relationships every 90 days (about 4 times per year).

Of course, you don’t need to wait for 90 days to pass if you realize that your goals are no longer working for you. Play it by ear.

3. Optimized

Well-defined and positively framed goals are optimized goals.

Specific goals have been shown to be the most effective in academia, business, and personal development. These outperform both no goals and vague “do better” goals. Similarly, positively framed goals (e.g. “I will do my homework every day”) lead to better performance than negatively framed goals (e.g. “I will stop neglecting to do my homework).

Define your goal as specifically as possible by asking yourself the following five questions:

-> What do I want to accomplish?

-> How long should this take me?

-> Who can help keep me accountable?

-> Do I know anyone that has achieved this goal? If not, how do I find those people?

-> Where can I access resources to help me accomplish this goal?

Once you do this, when you write down your goal, make sure to phrase it in a positive way.

With well-defined and positively framed goals, you’ll be able to focus and apply yourself effectively.

4. Worthwhile

Your goals need to be aligned with your future vision. Life is too short to waste time chasing after someone else’s dreams or pursing frivolous goals.

It might be a cool learning experience to read every single one of Friedrich Nietzsche’s works but unless you want to be a philosophy professor, there are better goals for you to set.

Spelling out why you want to accomplish a particular goal is extremely motivating. Every day, as you work towards it, you’ll know that you’re working towards living the life you want.

5. Trackable

In order for you to properly review your goals (see above), you need to set goals that are trackable. That is, your goals need to be quantitative not qualitative.

Saying “I want to be rich” is a bad, qualitative goal. Saying “I want to make $250k / yr from my online businesses” is a good, quantitative goal.

Quantitative goals, by definition, can be broken down into smaller increments (quantities). If you want to make $250,000 online per year, you can easily break that down into sub-goals, such as making your first $1 online, making $1,000 per month, making $100,000 per year, etc.

Qualitative goals don’t work this way. If your goal is to “be rich”, you either are or you aren’t. You can’t be “sorta rich” along the way. Without sub-goals, you will lose all your motivation because you are never reaching checkpoints where you can celebrate your success.

6. Healthy

I mean two things when I say that your goals should be healthy.

First, it should go without saying, but your goals need to not be unhealthy. For your goals to be game-changing (see above), you need to push the boundaries of your body and mind. But don’t forget that some boundaries exist for a reason and should be respected. For example, unless you’re a bodybuilder, you shouldn’t aim for less than 6% body fat as a male, or 14% body fat as a female.

Second, your goals should be health-oriented. You should apply the GROWTH framework to goals which improve your financial, physical, and/or mental health. Focusing on these key areas will yield the greatest personal development and overall happiness.