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deepseavibez · 2 years

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Nerve_Epilogue || KNJ

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Nerve [Namjoon x Reader]

Prompt - @casnextdoor

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Part 30 - Finale [E]

Epilogue

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Genre - cheating; aftermath; husband au;

Summary - You would never expect it really. He’s doting. He’s sweet. He’s hardworking. But he’s forgotten his morals. Suspecting it is one thing, but when he confirms it, will you stay or walk away.

Word Count - 3.4k

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A/N - This is it. The end of the first era. GODDAMN. I mean 13 months is a long time. And just for context, the whole au, is over 300k words. So if you've read all of that, hats off to you.

My amazing betas. Thank you for being with me on this long journey. @hxseok-honee for the first ever read of Nerve, spurring me onward. My sister from another mister, my love, @casnextdoor for the prompt, the one that started it all, betaing numerous chapters, reading my rants and essays on who what when where and why, for naming chapters like Dependency, and giving me strength for chapters like Finale [R] and for loving me, to always check on me and make sure I'm not putting writing before food and sleep and mental health which I have before. @shina913 for the whatsapp messages, the inspiring talks, the ideas and discussions, the betaing and the friend that you are thank you so much for treating Nerve as you have, as your own. @jaysdimples for the betaing, for the hype and the love and the genuine support and the voice notes and asks, sigh, I adore you. And my best guy friend who I know usually checks in on here because he's as invested in my writing as I am, and he's watched me pace around my office and squeeze in writing time and bitch about the emotions my characters are feeling, I appreciate you.

My honourable mentions, @moresarcasm for listening to me bitch about my plot endlessly and for always welcoming me with open arms every single time I needed it.

Some of the supports that I would not have continued to update without @justmewondering-recs you are absolutely the one that dissects and makes me think and research and believe and I have loved every single reblog even when they were long and clogged up the TL. @onlythehobi as if I can ever do without your username popping up, thank you for being there every single week and having me look forward to your feedback. @cuteipat , three reblogs at a time, the hype cannot be compared, thank you for being such a great friend to me. @blushingatyou, @codeinebelle, @toriluvsfics for the dms, that hold my hand and remind me that I can talk, that I can be true to my vision, that I am a great writer and how much you love Nerve and I have loved every single second of your support, you are absolutely amazing people. To my commentors I would love to name you, but the post only allows for fifty mentions and I'm out here like?? But thank you for the weekly reads, the comments, the INVESTMENT.

Sharing Nerve was something life changing because of the ones who have read it and have appreciated the au for how it's played out. It was by far one of my longest commitments and something challenging that I seem to have accomplished.

Thank you for being a part of this with me. Truly.

- Dee 🖤

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Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways. - Sigmund Freud

'Not surprised to find you here.'

Helen lifted her head toward the voice and smiled. She'd heard his footsteps on the walkway to the terrace. If he didn't want her to, he'd have made sure of it.

Turning back, Helen let her surroundings in. The moon was high, round and white, sitting in the blanket of the night sky. Finding stars was hard when the cityscape robbed the tiny dots of its luminescence.

Helen preferred the city anyway.

Helen Mei didn't have time to waste on trivial things like watching the stars and spinning dreams like a hopeless romantic.

No. She had a lot of work to do.

'You left pretty early.' It was more an observation than a question, but he answered her regardless.

'Namjoon and Hoseok were becoming… problematic.' He said in his signature robotic tone.

Throughout all her schemes and plans, Huru had always been her trump card.

And not only was he the strongest one to have, she knew he’d also never let her down.

Huru sighed. 'Besides,’ he chipped off his robot voice with each word, acknowledging her privilege to experience his emotions, ‘Kenta is too occupied to have me followed for once. How could I not make the most of it?’

'Hmm,' Helen smiled as she sipped from her glass, the golden liquid chilled from the winter air, 'the whole band seems to have that 'being a problem' thing in common. And a few others.'

To be fair, Kenta was a great guy, Helen had a lot of respect for him. It was just unfortunate that he always stuck his nose in where it didn’t belong, most of the time it was all things y/n. And that didn’t bode well for Helen. Her now brother-in-law was too smart for his own good.

Huru stepped up to her, and rubbed his hands down her arms, before bringing one of her palms up to his lips. He gently nipped at her fingers.

'They won't be a problem any longer.' She felt a tickle from his breath.

Tearing her gaze away from the buildings below, Helen turned in her boyfriend’s arms. 'How are you so sure?'

He gave nothing away. He didn't make a face. He didn't fidget under her scrutiny. He met her stare head on.

It was his inner strength that had always called to her.

'Every single one of those men has too much going on. And with your sister and Kenta out of the way, y/n will be more vulnerable than ever.'

Helen's lip curled up in distaste. Kim Y/n. A permanent thorn in her side.

She didn't hate, y/n. Not at first anyway.

But build ups only had one final destination.

‘I’m surprised you didn’t come to your sister’s wedding.’

Helen didn’t imagine the twinge in her gut, but she did push it away as soon as she acknowledged what it was. 'My presence wasn't necessary.' Yuna made that perfectly clear.

'Well… your absence was felt.'

A streak of satisfaction curled around Helen's spine. She needed Yuna to miss her.

Yuna had always been one of the most important people in her life. They’d shared a womb after all. But beyond that, they shared memories with their parents, stories about the boys in the playground and the mean girls that needed to be put in their place. Clothes, toys, a mutual understanding of hobbies. Above all, Helen had always valued secrets, until Yuna stopped telling her those.

Sometimes… it really was a lost cause.

‘Heli! I submitted my script for the school play!’

Helen scrunched her eyebrows in confusion. ‘The final draft?’

Yuna nodded excitedly.

‘Without a beta?’

‘Oh, I had y/n read the final draft. And I was just too excited to wait to submit.’

But we brainstormed it together.

‘I emailed you a copy.’ Yuna turned to leave their shared bedroom.

‘Uncle Kwang is treating us to Italian, let me know what you think when you get to it,’ she called over her shoulder.

Helen’s lip curled in distaste; a mild reaction compared to the storm in her heart.

They spent endless hours on the floor of their bedroom talking about characters, and reactions and, and…

It was not Helen’s work. Yuna had every right to consult with Y/n and talk about the play and even submit. But the act of excluding Helen, made her feel… small. Like her opinion didn’t matter anymore.

And it was not the first time.

‘Yuna I thought you were going with the pink.’ Helen watched as her twin donned a dark green dress with a skirt that flares from the waist, the pastel pink, sweetheart-neckline column dress thrown haphazardly on the bed.

‘Y/n said I should try a different color.’ Helen looked down at the light blue carbon copy of the pink dress on her own body. The ringing in her ear caused her to glare at her sister through the mirror.

‘Just because she doesn’t like pink, doesn’t mean everyone around her should stop using the color.’

‘She didn’t mean it like that.’ Yuna dismissed her sister. ‘She just suggested I try a different color dress for once.’ Yuna twirled in the mirror. ‘And I have to admit, the green really compliments my skin tone.’

Helen had to admit, she made a good point. The green was a rich tone that offset Yuna’s mocha, but Helen was not about to say any of that out loud.

It was always y/n.

‘Y/n can sleep over.’

‘Y/n can share my blanket.’

‘Y/n what do you wanna do?’

‘I’m sleeping over at y/n’s, she needs me.’

What about me, Yuna, don’t I need you…

‘But Y/n said –,’

‘But Y/n thinks –,’

‘But Y/n wants –,’

Y/n. Y/n. Y/n! Always Y/n!

Helen shook her head against the thoughts and her rising anger.

She felt Huru's arm tighten around her in comfort.

Helen could have dealt with her jealousy of Y/n's life. She could deal with the fact that Y/n had everything she could ever ask for. Both her parents. Old money handed down to her. A legacy to follow up on.

Y/n had a path laid out before her, and all she had to do was live up to it.

Helen wasn't whining in that aspect. It was good to be in control of destiny. Make your own choices and decisions. But she had always been indebted to her uncle. Yuna and Helen were not his daughters, but he took care of them anyway as if they were.

It was hard to feel like she constantly had to ask, and there was a tab accumulating that was owed, but by far the worst was feeling like a burden.

And maybe it would have been manageable if the ones present in the makeshift family, were able to actually be that family.

But Yuna clicked with Y/n. And that was fine. Helen would never fault her sister with having friends and making them and she would do her best to get along with them. And Helen tried, she really did try to be friends with Y/n. But the more she tried, the worse it got.

Then it was her house that y/n always be present in. Then their time. Dinner. Outings.

And at last, it was her Uncle.

‘Did Uncle Kwang show up, like he said he would?’

Helen loved her Uncle. She would always be grateful to him… and more than a little protective. A flash of y/n’s face crossed her mind… especially when it came to spineless bitches.

‘Yeah, he put on quite a show.’ Huru spoke, a tiny bit of admiration laced in his words. ‘I’ve never seen y/n that uncomfortable. Add in Kenta, Namjoon and the whole Scooby gang, all in all, it was quite entertaining.’

Good.

Helen could understand that Kwang connected on a different level to Y/n. She shared his knowledge of architecture, indulged in his hobby for non technical based drawings, and they connected on their perspective of the world. Animated discussions would take place over the kitchen counter as the food was cooked, views and comments on the latest news would be exchanged, debates on company politics… even Yuna knew when she was excluded from the conversation, but her sister took it in stride – Helen did not.

All Y/n did was takeover. It was in her blood, just like her father.

Maybe Kwang never did actually have the capacity to be a parental figure, but Helen would have liked for him to have the chance.

He could have attended Yuna’s plays, Neenah’s first trial, weekly family dinners if they were lucky, instead he was always cooped up in his office with Kim Y/n.

It wasn’t until much later that Helen had learned why.

It was disgusting the way y/n had sold herself. Whether it was her Uncle’s attention, or dirt on him so she could steal his shares, the game y/n had played was slow, methodical and beyond repulsive. Helen’s actions paled in comparison.

And for far too long, Helen had let it go. She’d stepped away, took a backseat, as a friend, as a sister, even as a niece, but once her Uncle told her about y/n’s antics, it was game over.

‘Heli,’ Huru nipped Helen’s chin. ‘Where’d you go?’

‘Thinking about our next step,' she replied wistfully. ‘Maiya is definitely out of the equation.

'So ‘Neenah’ is not going to represent her and get her out?'

Helen clicked her tongue, the light teasing in Huru’s tone keeping her annoyance at Maiya at bay. 'She's played her part. She had all the tools, including a gun and her role all but set out for her in easy steps and she still fucked it up.'

Maiya Song had been one of Helen's roommates in university. It was an easy friendship. Maiya wanted to find her brother, and Helen wanted to be a good lawyer.

Over the years Helen had handled helping find Mihlan, convincing him of his sister's intentions, that all she wanted was to provide a better life for him. Helen had even designated herself the Song family lawyer, saving Mihlan more times than she could count and playing an active role in his journey in and out of rehab centers.

But everyone had their limits. And Helen was no longer the soft-hearted, giving woman she was when she was younger.

At some point Maiya was less of a friend, and more of a burden. But Maiya always begged, and pleaded to save her brother, even when Mihlan deliberately did the wrong things and joined the wrong crowds and Helen understood the love one would have for their sibling… But enough was enough.

Helen didn't even care that the most recent incident wasn't Mihlan's fault, he'd used up all of his ‘get out of jail free’ cards and Neenah had a lot more going on.

Gambit had cheated her out of that promotion. Her superiors had known that she used a different name outside the practice. It was non-legal and not ethically or morally wrong. Her name on the bar was Neenah Jae for chrissake.

But it was all too 'iffy' according to the board. And such a character could not be on the front-line of the firm.

They would live to regret their decision. Helen would make sure of it.

So yeah, Maiya Song was done, so was her brother. They were effectively removed from the situation. And if Maiya sang like her surname implied, Helen had a lot more to nail her with. Mihlan Song had been very busy.

And Huru had been saving her ass, so many times, in the secrets department and more. That heads up before Y/n and Namjoon visited Gambit was so small, but also one of many perks to having him on the inside.

'Thank you for splicing the footage by the way,' Helen curled her fingers between Huru's, 'and for planting the gun behind the counter of VIP3 for her to pick up with her Orbit uniform.’

Huru shrugged. ‘It wasn’t hard.’ He rested his head on her shoulder and looked toward the city nightlife. ‘When I was checking the counter for cameras or chips, I just had to strap it under, so the ‘waitress’ for the evening could easily get a hold of it.'

‘Yeah, Bree’s security is quite thorough, especially with weapons. Only certain bodyguards and security detail can get around the rule. Her own bouncers aren’t allowed to carry firearms.’

‘Too bad Maiya didn't use it properly. It was a complete and utter shitshow.’

‘Just like her brother.’

Helen clenched her hands on the railing in front of her and let the cold of the steel bite her skin. ‘It would have been so easy, so easy, if Y/n just left him.’ Or if Maiya just got a lucky shot.

As far as Helen knew, Y/n was always insecure about her relationship with her husband, she always thought she was less, that he deserved better. She was right.

And by blowing up at her straight after the confession and telling her to stay with Namjoon out of desperation, Helen thought Y/n would be too proud not to leave him. Obviously not out of self-respect, but of the fear that she really would never be enough for the idol.

Y/n’s world would crumble if only Namjoon was removed from the equation. Helen had already bided her time, waiting for her sister to take Kenta away.

Having her husband, having Yuna, Kenta, the band to turn to, gave Y/n a strength that no one, not even Helen could contest with.

But one by one, her plans had been falling apart.

‘As for the footage, it didn’t take long. The same system was used at the bar.’

There was a consolation there. ‘At least Kenta doesn’t suspect anything about that footage.’

‘He doesn’t because he hasn’t seen it. That harddrive was taken by Yoongi and Jin.’ Huru had been collecting facts ever since she’d decided to put him on their radar.

Helen knew Y/n would want to keep things quiet, always thinking practically about reputation and career longevity. But even then, y/n would want to have some sort of control of the situation when the pictures were ‘leaked’.

A private investigator, one whose skills were too good to pass-up. Kenta knew he’d fucked up by pulling Huru in, but Huru was the best, and it was too late now.

Of course, Huru knew who Maiya’s roommate was. Helen turned her head to rub her cheek against Huru’s. He knew Neenah Jae, up close and personal.

‘But they can’t have any of the drive’s contents getting out so it's most probably destroyed. To top it off, the band wouldn’t want to actually see any of that footage again. It was too disappointing for them.’

‘Collateral damage.’ Helen heard herself say. The idea that Namjoon cheated on Y/n of his own free will, may have not played out as well as Helen liked, but it was still a solid one.

Getting a hold of the drive from Hazey’s bar was not a priority, but she would have to look into convincing Huru to take the risk to look for it. If Kenta watched it as meticulously as he watched the club footage, he’d find the parts that Huru deleted. Particularly the parts containing Maiya lacing Namjoon’s alcohol with hallucinogenics. If Namjoon were to be put through a urine test the days after, his results would have lit up like a Christmas Tree. Ketamine. Xanax. PCP. All capable of leaving him fatigued with uncoordinated movements, and completely susceptible to suggestion… he could have died considering she’d tied it all with alcohol, but they were a small dosage and it was worth the risk. Kim Namjoon loved his wife to obsession, and he was physically imposing, healthy, due to strenuous workouts and precision-based choreography, not to mention diets that kept him functioning.

Helen had to face it. A naked woman could approach Namjoon and he’d never take her up on the offer – Y/n was too important.

‘The wake-up call for that family is necessary.’ Helen shook her head in mock disappointment. ‘If only they knew each other’s secrets. A relationship under the radar, the oldest’s secret obsession, the demons that haunt every single one of them…’ she scoffed at the information Huru had dug up about the band. It was only a matter of time before they fell apart. She turned her head up to look at Huru. ‘And you’ll be y/n’s knight in shining armor when all hell breaks loose.’

She scoffed. Y/n was always too important to everyone.

Poor Namjoon. The sad part was that he would never know, he was never the one at fault. The only ones who knew about the drugs were either in jail, or would never say so. Huru definitely wouldn't.

Huru smirked. ‘Jealous.’

Helen glanced at his lips and back. ‘Very.’

It was always the plan to make it look like he was into y/n. Everyone would be more focused on him trying to get close to y/n and not suspect ulterior motives.

Possession. Jealousy. Protectiveness. They were all very volatile emotions, easily straining the band’s so-called strong bond with y/n and paving the way for an eruptive response purely for the cinematic experience.

When they broke away from their soft kiss, she breathed deeply, letting her thoughts be, oddly feeling more relaxed than she thought possible.

‘I’ve never asked you this,’ Huru started, ‘to be fair, I actually assumed that this was all about exposing y/n and making her as miserable as possible in the process, but…. I have yet to hear of that part of the plan. So what’s the endgame?’

The question made Helen frown. It was a redundant one, especially because they were so deep in the game.

‘Exposing y/n will do no good. We don’t have proof of it.’ Helen scoffed. ‘It’s a long shot when everyone trusts her so blindly. Any accusation… will fall on deaf ears.’ She folded her arms when Huru finished the last bit of her drink. ‘Do I want her without her family and her husband, sure, but my endgame has always been to separate her from my sister.’

Huru fell silent. ‘I’m not sure that’s possible, Heli.’

‘We’ll make it happen.’

Making y/n miserable was only a perk. Having her feel alone, having her loved ones ripped away from her, watching her life fall apart – Helen would be there for every minute of it.

‘I’ve already got Yuna across the country.’ Helen thought out loud. Huru tilted his head sideways in confusion. She smiled as she answered his silent question. ‘Who do you think negotiated the contract to get Yuna Mei to produce her own movie?’

A minute of stunned silence.

‘Wow.’ Huru said without emotion.

It didn’t take much. Gambit handled the studio’s legalities in Korea. Neenah played a part in the legal team, and slipping in Yuna’s name, along with her resume didn’t take much work. Yuna was, after all, very good at her job.

‘I’d do anything for my sister, Huru. You know that.’ Yuna might never love her as much, as she had stated, ‘at some point it’s your character… and I can’t deal with it anymore’ but Helen would always look out for her.

‘I know,’ Huru’s arms curled around her and crushed her to his front. ‘I’m here for you, baby. Whatever you need. I just hope it’s all worth it.’

It will be.

Helen was not naïve enough to believe that ruining y/n’s life would make her happy, but she did know that some part of her wanted to feel less… pain.

She had survived losing her parents. She survived losing her sister. She survived being alone and having no one to turn to. She survived that failed test, the cases she lost, the physical attack from one of her clients, the misogynistic behavior at her firm, the bitchy senior lawyer she got fired, processing her uncle’s experience – Helen survived it all and she survived it alone. But being strong didn’t negate the amount of struggle she had to go through. And maybe she was obsessed and a little psychotic and maybe it didn’t make sense to anyone else and maybe it never would… all Helen knew was that she would not be the only one to suffer anymore, consequences be damned, but Helen Mei would not be the only one with a heart broken beyond repair.

Taglist - @casnextdoor @jaysdimples @belliebelle @pinkcherrybombs @sweetjellyfishland @blushingatyou @jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue @somewhereinthestarss @k-brownsugar @namsona17 @taejinxkoya @notsooperfect @zae007live @its-hopes-world @shina913 @bri-mal @piecesofapril11 @kissme-ornot @toriluvsfics @agustdmwah @lochness-butmakeitsexy @petalsofink @definetlythinkimanalien @masterpiecejoonie @gcintia @danietoww04 @roguesthetic @rjsmochii @amymikaelson @hello-kittyy @mschievous247 @onlythehobi @deliciousdetectivestranger @daddypkj @callmemadhatter @rkivecenter @codeinebelle @creolesoul2seoul @nochelunaxx @serendididy [closed]

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Part 30 - Finale [E]

Epilogue

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#bts aus #bts au fanfic #bts au #bts #bts namjoon #bts fic #bts au fic #bts angst #bts fanfic #namjoon angst #angst #namjoon x you #namjoon x reader #kim namjoon #namjoon #namjoon x y/n #namjoon x oc #bts namjoon x reader #nerve au

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sohmariku · 8 months

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My phone died... T_T

This morning I awoke to a working phone, I used the toilet and then... it was dead.

Or rather, it started having a seizure. Once in a while, it buzzes, or flashes me a green screen with a blue and red square. Aside from that, it's just black. I cannot turn it off, I cannot reboot it, I can only wait for the inevitable moment that the battery runs out and it will stop to live... Considering it is fully charged, that may take a while. (The internet diagnoses it as a hardware problem, so there is literally nothing I can do.)

And just like that, my whole plan for today was thrown out of the window. No going for a walk, enjoying the clear weather, playing Pokemon Go, and doing some shopping. Instead I'm just sitting inside the house, in a bit of a daze, not entirely sure what to do.

IT'S SO WEIRD!

This must be the first time in years that I actually feel cut off from the world. Which is insane to say when I still have a working Wifi connection and laptop to access it. But... I can't tell you how many times I have thought to myself today, "Let's look that up," just to realize I do not have a mini-computer in my pocket that will allow me to do just that!

There is also the realization that, with my phone in this braindead state, I have no convenient way to contact my husband. First, I cannot call him. Although we do have a landline, we never connected a phone set to it. Second, Web WhatsApp is currently useless, because it's currently not connected and I need my phone to do that. Third, he doesn't check Facebook Messenger consistently enough to use it as an alternative. Fourth, the same with email. Fifth, I cannot even text him, because reviving my previous phone also failed. It refuses to charge/turn on.

In short, I can only wait for him to come home from work, so I can inform him I want to go shopping for a phone this evening.

Yes, I feel very cut off from the world.

#riku's random life

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matan4il · 1 year

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Alice, is there anything we can do to help? The museum occurrence sounds terrifying and I am so sorry you had to go through that. I'm so sorry this is happening but if there is anything us online folk can do, let us know. Even if it is just to listen to you vent about how you're feeling. Sending you lots of cyber hugs.

Dom, my darling! Thank you so much for the kind words! *hugs* I honestly thought, when I made that post, that I'm venting and no one would take note. It's just not the first time in my life that I've had to deal with things like this, and not even the first time that I momentarily cracked and needed to vent online for a second to be able to continue moving forward. So I just hope that you and everyone else who reacted know just how much it means to me. I am so, so grateful for the fact you care!

Regarding what can be done, I wrote about a few options in this ask reply, but I wanna repeat that even just knowing that you care already means a lot!

TBH, I do have more to vent about, because since I've posted, another person died due to a previous terrorist attack. On Friday, there was an attack on a family car, on its way to a holiday vacation in the city of Tiberias, on the shore of the Sea of Galilee. It left me reeling. When my sister was pregnant, I wanted to give her a special bday gift, one last vacation with her sis before she gives birth, so I asked her where she'd like to go together to, and she said Tiberias. Waze took us exactly through the junction that the terrorist attack happened in this last Friday. Every time I think that that could have been my sis and my unborn nephew, I feel like I can't breathe.

The terrorists shot from their own car at that of the Jewish family, a mother and her two daughters, 16 and 20 years old girls. Then when the mother was wounded and her car came to a stop, the terrorists stopped as well, one of them got out, walked over to the family car, and shot the mother and her two daughters again, from up close. This is referred to as "dead checking," meaning the terrorist makes sure the victims are dead, not just wounded. And the two daughters were indeed dead, but he missed that the mother was still alive. For a few days they fought for her life in a Jerusalem hospital, but the other day she passed away, too. Their names were Lucy (Leah), Maya and Rina Dee (may their memory be a blessing). This is their picture:

The husband and father, Rabbi Leo Dee, chose to donate organs, to save others. He also asked for people to share the Israeli flag on social media. One of my dear colleagues is a British Jew, and he's friends with this family. He shared on Whatsapp a beautiful video of people lining up the route of the funeral of the late Lucy Dee, they were standing in the rain just to wave their Israeli flags for the grieving husband and father. So I'm gonna do exactly what he asked for, I'll share the Israeli flag as well.

Thank you so much, my beautiful friend, I'm sending you all the love and hugs right back!

#personal #israel #fandom love #kindness #thank you!#<33333 #ask #dominikadecember #anti terror #terrorists #terrorism #terror #terror attack

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survey--s · 1 year

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543.

Have your parents ever tried to control your relationship? No.

Have you ever had to give someone directions before? Sure, loads of times. I lived in a tourist village for ages and people were constantly asking how to get to various places, lol.

Speaking of which, are you good at understanding driving directions? I’m better at following road signs than reading a map.

How many people do you text daily? Maybe 2-3 people, but that includes text, WhatsApp and Messenger.

Do you have an iPod or an MP3 player? Which brand? I use my iPhone for music.

What was your favorite television show as a child? Arthur, Barney, Smurfs, Teletubbies.

Do you play any instruments? Which instruments do you play? Not anymore, but I used to have piano, recorder, cornet and guitar lessons.

Is there anyone who you call by their last name? Not anymore.

What did you do on your last birthday? It snowed pretty badly - I had a couple of cat visits to do and we got takeaway but otherwise that was it.

Which of the Seven Deadly Sins do you commit the most? Sloth, for sure.

Has anyone ever told you that you're incapable of whispering? Yeah, definitely.

What is your least favorite subject in school? I always hated maths.

Have you ever been involved in a custody battle before? No.

Do you know a couple who constantly sucks on each other's face? Bleugh, no, thankfully not.

Who was the best kisser you've ever dated? My husband or Joshua.

When was the last time you watched a YouTube video? Yesterday. I watch quite a few TV series on there that I can’t find anywhere else.

Have you ever babysat a newborn baby before? No, just toddlers and up.

How many times a week do you usually see the person you love? We’re married and live together, so everyday, multiple times a day lol.

When was the last time you held someone's hand? I have no idea, I’m not a fan of hand-holding really.

How many meals have you eaten today, so far? Two - cereal for breakfast and a jacket potato for lunch.

Do you think it's stupid for people to call others "hot?" No.

Do you personally think Wikipedia is a reliable source? It can be if you check all the references properly.

Are you someone who listens to more girl or guy bands? A pretty even mixture of both.

Have you ever shopped at Wet Seal before? Did you like it? We don’t have that store here.

Do you care about spending money if it's someone else's money? I’m definitely more cautious if I know someone else is picking up the bill.

What is your favorite Disney movie of all time? The original Alice in Wonderland.

When you were a child, did you ever want to become a wizard/witch? No.

What are the color of your walls? Do you want to repaint? The walls in this room are red and grey, the kitchen is cream, the bathroom yellow, the spare room is green and the bedroom is pale purple. Our bedroom, bathroom and kitchen all need repainting at some point.

Would you rather have hardwood floors or carpet? I love the look of hardwood + rugs but living where we do, carpets make much more sense as it gets so cold in winter.

Do you have any siblings you neglect you? I don’t have siblings.

Who would you say is the most selfish person you know? No-one in particular is coming to mind right now.

Who was the last person you yelled at? Why? The dog for eating cat shit lol.

As a kid, did you ever go to camp? Yeah, I had to go to day camp most summers and I absolutely hated it.

What were the last three movies you watched in theaters? I haven’t been to the cinema for years lol. The last film I saw was Cats but I can’t remember the ones I saw before then.

Have you ever made out in a movie theater before? Sure, loads of times.

Are you currently trying to learn to play any instrument? Nope.

Do you believe in ghosts, spirits or demons? I don’t believe or disbelieve in them.

When was the last time you went somewhere you thought was haunted? Never.

What is your favorite breakfast meal? Poached eggs on sourdough toast with avocado and bacon OR American-style pancakes with butter, maple syrup, bacon and blueberries.

What does the lead singer of your favorite band look like? Dead, lol.

Who was the last person to compliment you? I can’t remember, Suzy maybe?

How old were you when you got to go on your first date? Fourteen.

Would you call your parents over-protective or under-protective? My dad was definitely over-protective, my mum got the balance about right.

Did your parents ever let you play in the pits of those multicolored balls? Sure. I remember our local garden centre had one of those for some reason and my dad used to take me there on rainy weekends a lot.

What is the best movie you've seen in the last five years? I honestly couldn’t pick just one.

Has anyone ever called you a good kisser before? Sure.

Have any of your siblings ever had a crush on your significant other? No siblings.

Are you the jealous type? Everytime I’ve experienced jealousy it’s been for a valid reason.

Does life ever seem overly ironic to you? Ha, definitely feels that way sometimes.

When was the last time you felt like you were high on life? I honestly don’t know.

Do you know someone who cares about themselves more than their child? Yep, lots of shitty parents out there unfortunately.

Do you still watch cartoons on television? I watch The Simpsons but I don’t really watch any kids cartoons.

What do you usually order at Taco Bell, if you go there? The nearest Taco Bell is hours away - I’ve never been.

Is there anyone currently annoying you? Just how humid it is. It’s giving me a headache.

What's your favorite hairstyle you've had so far? Meh, my hair doesn’t really do decent hairstyles lol.

Do you have freckles? I have a few on my nose and cheeks, but they’re not very noticeable.

How many dogs do you have, if any at all? One.

Have you ever witnessed someone being beaten up? Yes.

Do you think biting is weird or sexy? I mean, it depends on the circumstances.

Would you rather be called hot or beautiful? Beautiful.

#survey #surveys

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fullspectrumdiary · 2 months

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OMIGOSHOMIGOSHOMIGOSH

I get so excited when a new crop circle drops! This is the latest one that was emailed to me by the Crop Circle Connector website. I recommend everyone check it out, and once you've taken a good look at all of the ones available for free you get the archive access too because it's SO good.

This one in particular reminds me of the quadrants and zones of Integral Theory. I spent some time meditating on my crop circle tattoo at Stonehenge and since then all of the ones that have come out seem to me to be like replies to what I have been doing on Earth. They are sooooo beautiful on a spiritual level as well as a visual one and this one is so novel and cool. I couldn't even imagine that Ets would ever like box shapes! As a hippie I always thought squares were for squares! Anyway, what I get from it is that the ETs recognise and accept Integral as a valid operating system for humanity, and the boxxy attitude as being basically one which we love!

Anyway, the last few days have been pretty slow. I went out with my friend Paul to a nearby village called Copplestone, which is on the St. Michael Line, the long great ley line that passes through many sacred sites diagonally across the UK. I meditated in a field for a while, and it was just so lovely with all this beautiful black energy coming out of the ground. We also went to a pub and I had an arabbiatta pasta, while he had a pork chop. I'm vegan so I always have to be careful when going out for food. Then I spent a couple days and nights getting back to a decent sleep schedule (check what time my posts drop to see how that's going :P) and watching a whole bunch of anime. Then I went out with Paul again, this time to Exmouth for a beach walk and some more food. I had a falafel and houmous wrap and he had a kebab. It was tasty! Also, during the beach walk, I had a long and pleasant meditation looking at my tattoo with my hand on the cliff face. It was just so good to feel all that deep energy mixing with that of the extraterrestrial intelligence passing through me. I love that sort of thing <3

Since then, I've been browsing 4chan, listening to music, watching YouTube videos and practising more meditation.

Getting back to the main topic of this diary which I am working on paying more attention to, my feelings: Lately I have been experiencing the feeling of success! Just constant wins and wins, making me feel so good inside. For this reason, I'll make an AI image in orange colours for the image post that corresponds to this blog post.

I don't really evaluate myself according to cultural standards. As long as my basic needs are met, I regard myself as a person who functions well enough in society that I can begin to do serious spiritual practice. I don't really feel all that lonely, even though I barely speak to any real-life people, because I talk to people constantly online through 4chan (for far-away, anonymous frens) and WhatsApp (for friends and family who are close to me). My mum and her husband just got home from their holidays, and I'm looking forward to seeing them soon <3 For these reasons, I can feel a pervasive and powerful feeling of success even though I'm not working a job of any kind or juggling lots of social activities, and still not be lonely.

This is the culmination of the feeling of freedom from effort that I talked about in my last post. Not only do I get the sense that I no longer have to exert a special effort to be more than I was before and truly excel and exceed my previous self in some extreme way (contra all that super-super discipline-motivation fitness dogma I fed myself for so long), but now I realise that my efforts do come to good fruition because of the good intentions behind them. If I could do more without much pain or suffering, I would, but I honestly feel that I am now actually giving it my all, 100%, without actually choosing to feel pain just for the sake of getting better karma. So I'm proud of that. I think I'm going to make a red image that symbolises this feeling.

As always, dear diary, thank you for being there for me - I am glad my mum convinced me to do this. It really helps!

0 notes

eunicemiddleton421 · 5 months

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How to Catch a Cheating Husband on WhatsApp

In today's digital age, communication platforms like WhatsApp have become integral parts of our lives. However, they can also be avenues for infidelity. If you suspect your husband is being unfaithful, especially on WhatsApp, it's essential to address your concerns. This article delves into strategies for identifying and handling potential infidelity.

Signs of a Cheating Husband

Changes in Behavior

One of the first signs of infidelity is a noticeable change in behavior. This could manifest as sudden secrecy or defensiveness about his actions.

Secrecy with the Phone

If your husband becomes overly protective of his phone, guarding it closely or taking it with him everywhere, it could be a red flag.

Unexplained Expenses

Keep an eye on any unexplained expenses, especially if they correlate with suspicious behavior or absences.

Emotional Distance

Emotional distance or disinterest in spending time with you could indicate that your husband is investing his emotions elsewhere.

Ways to Catch a Cheating Husband on WhatsApp

Checking His Phone

While invading privacy should be a last resort, checking your husband's WhatsApp messages can provide insight into his interactions.

Using WhatsApp Web

If your husband uses WhatsApp Web on his computer, you can discreetly monitor his conversations from your own device.

Tracking His Online Activity

Several apps and software allow you to track your husband's online activity, including his WhatsApp usage, without his knowledge.

Using Spy Apps

Consider using spy apps designed to monitor WhatsApp activity. However, be cautious and ensure their legality in your jurisdiction.

Approach with Caution

Confrontation vs. Gathering Evidence

Before confronting your husband, gather sufficient evidence to support your suspicions. Confrontation without proof can lead to denial and further deception.

Emotional Preparation

Prepare yourself emotionally for any outcome. Confronting infidelity can be emotionally taxing, so seek support from friends, family, or a therapist.

Protecting Yourself Emotionally

Seeking Support

Don't hesitate to seek emotional support from trusted friends or family members. Talking about your concerns can help alleviate some of the stress.

Taking Care of Yourself

Ensure you prioritize self-care during this challenging time. Engage in activities that bring you joy and maintain your overall well-being.

Moving Forward

Confrontation or Seeking Counseling

Decide whether you want to confront your husband directly or seek couples counseling to address the issue together.

Making Decisions for Yourself

Ultimately, prioritize your own happiness and well-being when making decisions about the future of your relationship.

Conclusion

If you suspect your husband of infidelity on WhatsApp, trust your instincts and take appropriate action. Whether it's gathering evidence, seeking support, or making decisions for yourself, prioritize your emotional well-being above all else.

FAQs

1. How do I approach my husband if I suspect he's cheating on WhatsApp?

Approach the situation calmly and with evidence to support your suspicions. Avoid accusations without proof.

2. What if I find evidence of infidelity on my husband's WhatsApp?

Take time to process your emotions before deciding how to proceed. Consider seeking counseling to navigate the situation.

3. Is it legal to use spy apps to monitor my husband's WhatsApp activity?

Laws regarding privacy and surveillance vary by jurisdiction. Ensure you understand the legal implications before using such apps.

4. How can I rebuild trust after discovering infidelity on WhatsApp?

Rebuilding trust takes time and effort from both parties. Open communication, honesty, and counseling can help facilitate the process.

5. Should I stay in a relationship with a cheating husband?

The decision to stay or leave is deeply personal and depends on various factors. Consider seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor to explore your options.

#contact a hacker #phone hacking service #find a hacker #phone hacking #spy phone #hire a hacker #hacker for hire

0 notes

intolerancecare · 8 months

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See...

Did viber recorded my convo? or the devil did?

I'll do a timeline:

That effing devil asked me something about Dina (my roommate) and Carlos (his roommate) He is feeling close. I don't like him. them. My alterego ate or maybe the baby don't like them. Understand? They were not raised poor.

Then he asked again if I have a phone. I'm not interested actually. I have an analogue. I just wanted a laptop for YM and movies. But he mentioned Viber, which is not yet in the Philippines then, (he knows because he came to Kwt, around 6 months before my batch) He even asked me that day to join him because they are going to the mall. He even waved like a puppy from the other bus.

I didn't join him, but I did take a phone because I learned that it was their mode of communication. Everyone even whatsapp. So, he is the first person that I asked about the app. I was so haphazard in checking. He sent so many food stickers.

January birthday celebrants prepared a party (I think they collected money from us too) I wanted to join. That's how we were raised in school. K? We were kinda like part-time actors. All performing arts after school. Yes, like Singapore's Private classes. The top students like Korea's cram school. I thought maybe because the pop student was a director's son. Yes, he is not the relative. Going back, when I asked him about the party, he didn't answer that was his style. I was a bit insecure at that time. He doesn't answer even those he hears me he was kinda like internalizing.

Then C and her minions attacked me. Real? She you? It wasn't necessary. Jim's dopple ganger was right. No expectation. I know my place. They made this epic. It wasn't necessary.

March, your anniv? She kind?

My friend's birthday.

I panicked, so I asked a friend. A late acceptance to his prior invitation. I don't want to talk to the girls. The bastard cried. I'm used to hanging out with friends. Why would he cry? I'm supposed to be the one crying on that day. I wanted to meet new friends. I think I knew then that the white lady from H&M was in their flat. That extortionist? That's what I know. And Dina also talks a lot about Carlos, his roommate. That's me. I needed friends.

I knew then that I was dealing with... If I am a robber, I was seeing pick pocketers. You know, scheming planners. Like these, that I am blubbering. building effing network. A network's name...

They just hit me hard. Obando after Jerry. They turned him. Yeah, they became Millionaire's children.

He is not real to me? Then what was his purpose for getting close to me? You know when gossip mongers whisper their cuss, they will gather around me. Then he'll say "apat dapat" (must be four) He, Melojane and Monatus. See, they ganged up on me. Threat? because I was surrounded with foreign friends. Sayang naman panlilibre at pagkocoat nila for a dinner sa hotel. Eliting the arabs? Elite e. Melojane was like: My husband brought me this for this KD. Yes, 3 idiots' mr. price tag. I know some real rich people would say I bought this BRAND for a cheaper price (but of course it was not really cheap). Then Arjun will say: We used to be rich. My father had a business. He a fortune teller? He is so fucking amazing? Fucking kind to everyone right? Haha! See, they like throwing parties. I just like parties. No bribery. No political advertisement. They look so effing rich. Monatus said his mother is a DOH secretary (he was a grocery bagger)

Me and Melojane was chosen as the trainer cum assistant. They had to go back to the stores. Look here. During our team building and send off party for them, he sat beside me. Didn't notice him until he asked (surrounded by everyone) "Did you love me?" How do relationship starts? I dunno? but maybe I should try. I think my quick thoughts was actually the possible impediments of my finances, like, if I can handle him if this is a kasubuan, like, not for fun. I still have responsibilities. I mean gf can be so I said "yes, maybe" (duh! how did your first relationship started? Love at first sight? He's not handsome, He's not intellectual and he is not good looking and not articulate) THEN HE CRIED LIKE A DRAMA ACTOR. WATERFALLS. saying "my girlfriend is coming" I said ok. For me, it was just a try. An answer to his question. When he said that then, it's invalid. Truth is, in my blog, I was thankful for the shady part. It didn't become a commitment. Wait for the effing bluntness. What actually confused me was after his drama, he acted like a victorious actor. They rode a taxi, I was left with Mina. We walked to our place. Then I realized, maybe he cried for me? That was another loss? So, I cried, while Mina was tracking our way in his GPS. Accidentally, my phone fell on the beach that night. Thankfully, I don't need to talk to him. He was my chatmate. I chat with others too. Even Don (not dawn) I was not interested. More cautious with them. Because I don't know their culture. What I didn't know was the desperate kababayan culture. We have mixed friends right? Gender? Come on, adult doctors that I know male and female mix too. I have group of friends that are very very mix. Pride. I was testing waters, we mixed during the training.

You will think, to see if you can handle the consequences. But it was just all good intentions. Fucking trust in humanity. I have broken relationship with my family. Rehab wasn't the norm, but we do argue, just a spur of emotions but we normally make up so yeah, when I'm kind, I'm weak. Kind people don't win. Devils won.

Anyway, I did cry. But I was really happy about the training. They know I love the brand. My phone was off for days. I even yahooed, It said I should open it, let it dry and bury it under my rice. (Devil's advocate, hey, I read it from a local pocketbook) I tested my phone during our lunch break at work. In less than a minute, it rung. He was calling. He never call. I think not in viber. He called. I was very happy then. It was nothing really. Honestly. Not necessary to avoid. The thick faced called. Laughing! Did he think that I closed my phone because of him. How many times did he try? Instant rung? Coincidence? Thick face right? I searched him on FB. I didn't see any picture of a girlfriend or a name in all his posts. His family? Fat. Dark. Shady. No right to be mean. Who like who? I am not Cherry. But I only have filipinos to rely on. I don't belong to christian church too. Not kidding. Not religious but, very student for me. You know, like me as a student and nurse. They do recollections every week. See, my lola was a community prayer leader. I always join her. She pinches me whenever I move my head or say "hipus" eventhough I am not talking to anyone. But we just pray the rosary. My tita brought us to a catholic group. There was a seminar for new joiners, me and my cousins make fun of what we do sometimes but we listen. Some acts are too dramatic but we've done it in school. The priest invited us to his seminary where my father used to study. I don't know how long. I'm not an atheist. We just attend mass after the orientation.

Then one time, Melojane invited me to visit everyone at avenues. we saw him with Carlos. He was too elated, fooling around. Not disciplined? It was so effing awkward. What I did instead is stand before Carlos who was doing embroidery at some baby blanket. I shut my ears. I was too shy. It was awkward. He was too happy. I thought, this is what I do at my lola's house. Maybe I didn't think of that, but that is what I normally do. I watch skilled people.

Fucking people who said I'm the bitch.

0 notes

alsjeblieft-zeg · 1 year

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463 of 2023

What object in your room is really important to you?

All my books.

Are you good at hiding your feelings?

Yes and no. I don't even know how to explain it, I tend to keep to myself, but at the same time people see on my face that there's something on my mind.

Would you kiss an ugly person for $1,000?

Define ugly, it's highly subjective. This question is so dumb.

What kind of sense of humor do you have?

Dark, sarcastic, self-depreciating and that typical teenage boy humour, when I start laughing at the sound of fart. My sense of humour is really all over the place.

Do you usually tell people when they hurt your feelings?

No, I don't. I just change my attitude towards them and leave them confused.

Do your initials spell out a word?

No, they're all consonants.

Do you sing in the shower?

All the time. Poor people who hear it lol.

Where is the last place you went shopping?

Delhaize, I bought some freshly made sushi.

Do you have the same name as one of your relatives?

No, thankfully. My name is alreasy too common. However, I was supposed to be named after my grandpa.

Are you looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend?

No, I'm already married and one pain in the ass is much enough.

Do you prefer a call or a text?

Text, but I'm bad at texting. Phone calls make me anxious.

Drinking anything?

Just drank some Coca Cola.

Do your parents drink coffee every morning?

They do. Luckily they still can, unlike me.

Have you ever donated blood?

I'm not allowed for medical reasons. Which is a pity, because my blood type is quite rare.

One song that's meaningful to you?

Shiver by Vildhjarta.

How long is your hair ?

Too long for my tastes. Still short, though.

Addicted to anything?

Yeah, to music.

What were you last listening to in the car?

I don't remember, probably my husband's playlist. We share a Sotify account.

When was the last time you sang out loud?

This evening.

What did you have for breakfast?

Rice pudding.

Is your birthday on a holiday?

Sometimes it comes around Easter, but not always.

What instant messaging service do you use?

WhatsApp, if ever.

Can you cook?

I can, I wouldn't starve, definitely.

Did you have a nap today?

I just got up, it's morning.

What do you wear more jeans or sweats?

I wear these parachute pants. Funny name, by the way.

Do you swear a lot?

I do, but mostly when angry.

Where did you get the shirt(s) you're wearing?

I'm wearing a hoodie, you loser.

Do you have any regrets?

Yeah, one. I' ve been neglecting my health for too long.

What's the first thing you notice of the opposite sex?

That they're not men. What else?

Do you want something you can't have?

Yeah, perfect health.

What color are your favorite shoes?

Black.

Who would you like to see right now?

My parents.

Are you a social or antisocial person?

I hate that the term "antisocial" is misused. It's not the same as asocial, you know? Antisocial is a sociopath.

Have the cops ever come by your house?

Yup, it's a normal procedure in my country that the police visits your house when you move in, to check if you really live there.

Ever been in love?

I loved and I love, that's for sure.

Would you rather sleep with someone, or alone?

No preference, but my husband is snoring at night.

#survey #q&a survey #random survey

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myempirepro-blog · 2 years

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7 Stages of Emotional Affairs + Additional TIPS

Welcome back to LOLAandOLA.com. Let’s talk about the 7 stages of an emotional affair; a sequel to “5 signs of an emotional affair”.

--> READ THE BLOG POST HERE https://lolaandola.com/stages-of-emotional-affairs/

--> WATCH VIDEO VERSION HERE https://youtu.be/HmScpwrCVf8

Be sure to watch that video too.

As usual, we are answering your question. Feel free to continue leaving them in the comment area or send an email to [email protected]

Let’s check out this story.

“So my wife seems to be having an emotional affair with her boss.

She locked me out of her home computer a few months back (it was shared).

Just before that I noticed she'd been trying to find a way to stop her phone messages being saved in the cloud.

When I did see some of her messages she's been texting with him all times of day and at weekends.

When she went away on a trip a couple of times, he was getting pictures and texts etc. I got nothing.

He talks back with her a lot.

She's deleted a lot of the texts (presumably the worst ones??).

Some of the texts seem to be suggestive but I can't see if they lead anywhere but I don't think anything physical has happened.

It's more flirting.”

Sorry about this trauma. It’s going to take a lot of work to get out of this funk. And I am sorry you have to go through this.

Maybe understanding the stages of emotional affairs can help you put things in better perspective so you can move forward in the most effective way.

Let’s get into it.

Stage 1

Void

In order for another person to occupy the space of intimacy in a relationship, there must be some type of void.

This is not to blame or assign fault away from the transgressor to the other partner but to highlight the fact that it is what it is.

If you caught your partner in this type of bad behavior, always remember it’s not your fault but that’s not equivalent to not assuming responsibility in the overall status of your relationship.

Stage 2

Friendship

You’ve always had friends anyway. For women, they often need to feel safe and secure.

So the closest person to that when there is a void they want to fill in their present relationship or marriage are ex’s.

Ladies. Be careful with keeping friendships with your exes. It might seem innocent because after all there are stages.

You probably already know that everything feels wrong but right at the same time with this inappropriate relationship.

If you are not careful, you will eventually find yourself justifying it. Don’t wait for it because again, friendship is a seemingly innocent stage of emotional affairs.

Stage 3

Sharing

In this stage, the transgressor is getting comfortable and starting to share intimate details with the loser on the side.

Why are they losers? It’s just the reality because you are clearly not 100% emotionally available but yet, they are hoping to build something serious usually.

There is a void as I stated in stage one but it is not the same thing as being emotionally available which is a requirement for a healthy relationship.

Not only was that lady sharing details, when she went away on a trip a couple of times, the loser was getting pictures and texts while the husband got nothing.

At this point, the marriage is in the danger zone.

Stage 4

Secrecy

What happens next? The transgressor is leaving exhibits and digital footprints on SMS, text messages and WhatsApp right?

These are now secrets which in this context can be described somewhat as lies. They have to tell more lies and create more secrets to cover up.

But there is a problem.

No matter how much they try to delete messages, it gets worse because even though… remember that story…

“She's deleted a lot of the worst texts ,the remaining seem to be suggestive.”

Yes he couldn’t see if they led anywhere or think anything physical had happened. But the mind doesn’t know that.

Stage 5

Fantasy

Up till this stage, nothing has necessarily happened physically. But the natural order of things is for the mind to engage images of going all the way through.

At this stage, the transgressor is starting to fantasize not just about physical intimacy but also about what life could be like with the side person.

The mind won’t rest or let’s flip it. The mind may not be able to comprehend the danger in all of these until a physical act has happened.

That’s why people would call it a mistake while in reality this can only be realistically described as premeditated in reality.

Stage 6

Dependency

At this stage, the transgressor has spent a lot of energy on this side relationship. Yes. they might as well call it a relationship because it’s denial.

They’ve started to fantasize about life with this person and the last thing they want you to call the interaction is an affair.

If you don’t speak to them in a day, your mind won't rest. It’s an unhealthy dependency because you can’t really live in truth; nonetheless a dependency.

Don’t forget that the transgressor still depends on the actual partner for something hence the difficulty in just leaving as opposed to cheating.

Stage 7

Justification

At this stage, a transgressor is actively trying to turn a lie into a truth.

Actually, they are probably being honest since they have been intimate with another person consistently over a period of time.

There is an illusion of greener grass on the other side.

So even though it’s a dishonest lifestyle, it was filling a void and therefore feels like the truth and it’s just being actively justified.

At least, it might feel justified. It is not. That band aid must be ripped off that open and rotten wound once and for all.

Many pieces of advice on the internet will probably be conclusive and I know that you probably don’t want to end the marriage. So it’s confusing at best.

You might not know how far the affair has gone but it really doesn’t matter. Emotional affairs can hurt just as much if not more because of the fear of the unknown.

Reference our last video for recovery tips if you’ve caught your partner in this bad behavior. It’s called “5 Signs of An Emotional Affair + 5 RECOVERY TIPS”.

We share our own story inside the book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK" which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com

Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and share with us below what you'd like us to cover on the next video.

Check out this episode!

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nooneelsecomesclose17 · 3 years

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Daddy's first pride

This is probably terrible, if so I'm sorry. From the Ana'verse.

"Plain iced cupcakes with different flags or rainbow icing." Robert announced as Aaron walked in the door with Ana on his hip and Seb following, making a beeline for his toys, giving his Dad a half hearted wave, as usual too interested in playing than anything else.

"Is this a quiz or..." He sets Ana down on the floor having picked her up from Sarah. He just stares at his husband, surrounded by recipe books, tapping away on his laptop, Sara in her bouncy chair in front of him fast asleep.

"For Pride. I can't make my mind up. Which do you think would be better?"

"Can we go back to the beginning, because I feel like I've walked in halfway through the series."

"Charles came in the cafe today, he's organising Pride in the village and he asked me to get involved." Aaron hasn't seen Robert look so eager about anything for ages, not since he came out of prison and he smiles along with him. "He's asked all local businesses for sponsorship or to be involved. I'm doing refreshments and stuff."

"When is it?"

"Next month. He said he'd called at the yard but couldn't make you hear." He goes back to scrolling on his laptop. "What do you think of these?"

"Must've had the crusher going." He shakes his head and picks his way through the mess surrounding Robert before he can sit down, lifting Ana onto his lap. "I can't hear a thing with that going you know that. What am I looking at?"

"Cookies. Maybe Mum could ice them, you know, all the different flags?"

"Yeah, why not. You know I'm the wrong person to ask, all I care about is if they taste nice."

"Idiot." He leans over to kiss him, closing his laptop. "I've put tea in early because there's a meeting at the village hall at six."

"About?"

"Pride, Aaron! I'm on the committee so I have to be on time. So you'll have to do bath time and that. I'll be home before they go to bed."

"There's a committee?"

"Yes. It all has to be arranged. You can help if you want. Mum's already volunteered, and there's Matty, Ethan, Charles, Nicola and Vic, oh and your Gran." He couldn't help smiling because he'd not seen Robert this animated in ages even if he truly couldn't remember any conversation they'd had about any of this.

"I'm not one for meetings am I, but I can do heavy lifting and that." He hesitates, not wanting to dampen Robert's mood one bit.

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just...you've never really seemed interested in going to pride or 'owt." Robert looks down and he instantly feels bad. "Oi, it's not a criticism, I just wondered...you seem to be going at this hell for leather that's all. Did you want to go before or...?"

"Not really...I, nearly went once, in London. Chickened out at the last minute, worried someone from work might see me and just know which was daft I know, and when you and me got together, something always seemed to get in the way. I just thought...I know who I am now, and I'm happy. That's something to celebrate, isn't it?"

"Yeah, course. Be my first time too." He winks making Robert laugh. "Right, so, what else have you got planned?"

--------

"Robert!" It's only been a week and Aaron is wishing the days away so he can have his husband, and his house back. He's come home to a living room full of boxes.

"Oh, you're home. You're early."

"I thought I'd sack it off for the day and we could go to the pub for tea with the kids. I didn't expect to come home to...well this."

"Daddy look!" All of a sudden Seb emerges from behind the pile of boxes with what looks like a door curtain trailing behind him.

"Very nice mate. Robert what is all this."

"Ah...well..." Robert scratches his head as he untangles Seb from the decoration he's wrapped himelf in. "The thing is, I'm kinda in charge now."

"How come?"

"It was meant to be Andrea, although if you ask me she only agreed because she thinks it'll keep her in with Charles." Aaron nods, even though he really has no idea what he's talking about, but then Robert's always been more into village gossip than him. "Anyway she's cried off, I don't know, some kind of drama with Jamie again, and well Charles needed the help."

"And you agreed."

"He was stuck!"

Robert and Charles have struck up a kind of friendship since Robert came home, and Aaron knows that he's confided in him, stuff he doesn't want to tell Aaron, or things he needs to sort out before he does.

"Right, so basically the house is going to be a store room for the next fortnight?"

"No, I'm moving it all over to the village hall, but it needed checking, and Mum was going to help but then Ana wanted to go to the swings so she took her, and Sara."

"I'm helping!" Seb pipes up, with his head inside another box as Robert shook his head.

"Well how about you help me and Daddy move these boxes and then we can go and get some tea?"

"Chips?"

"If you get your head out of that box and stop spreading stuff everywhere then maybe."

--------

The next few weeks are a flurry of plans, of Robert having daily brainwaves or panics about one thing or another, and his phone is constantly lighting up with WhatsApp messages, but finally it's the evening before and he thinks Robert has calmed down. He's at one final committee meeting leaving Aaron in charge of the kids tea.

"You alright mate?" Seb's pushing his pasta around the plate rather than eating.

"Where's Daddy?"

"He's at his meeting, you know sorting things for tomorrow. He won't be long."

"What's Pride?" He says after pushing a few more bits of pasta around. He supposes he shouldn't be surprised Seb's asking, it's all they've spoken about for the last month or so after all.

"Well in some places it's like a big parade and it's full of colour and everyone's happy. Emmerdale's a bit small for a parade though ain't it, so it's just going to be like a big party with music and face paints and food and all sorts of things."

"Oh."

"What's up mate?"

"Oscar, at school, he said havin' two Daddies is weird." Aaron's never head of this Oscar, and he has to remind himself it wasn't the kids fault that he obviously hadn't been taught properly.

"Do you think it's weird?"

"No. You and Daddy both play with my trucks and take me on the swings."

"Exactly, some boys and girls have a Mummy and Daddy, like Eve, some have two Mummies like Moses and Johnny, and some like you, Ana and Sara have two Daddies. But all of you have fun, and everyone loves you, so it's not weird. Oscar maybe just doesn't understand hey?"

"But I had Mummy too." Aaron let out a breath, it'd been a good while since he'd mentioned Rebecca, other than saying goodnight to her photo every night. He wished Robert was here, he was always better at dealing with it than him.

"Yeah, well, Moses has a Daddy too doesn't he? A family can be made up of whoever, and still be the same as everyone elses. Do you understand?"

"I think so. And pride is like a party?"

"Yeah, celebrating the fact that people like me and Daddy can be together and stuff."

"But...why?"

"Because years ago we wouldn't have been allowed to get married or be together and some people still think we shouldn't."

"That's silly."

"Yes it is. Really silly."

"Can we go see Daddy?" Aaron smiles, and nods, happy that Seb's satisfied with his answer.

It's a bit of a struggle, managing the three of them, but eventually he gets Seb to push Sara in her chair, while he carries Ana, and they're heading towards the village. Suddenly Seb stops, mouth open and Aaron stops fiddling with Ana's cardigan to see what's wrong.

"Wow." Main Street is literally awash with colour and Seb's eyes are as wide as Christmas. "Look Daddy!"

"I am mate. Cool huh?" He can see Robert in the distance, with Charles and he nudges Seb to carry on walking, smile growing wider as they gets closer to his husband, seeing how happy he is.

"Daddy! Everything's pretty!" Seb all but abandons the buggy to run the last few metres to Robert who immediately picks him up and sits him on his shoulders.

"What do you think young man?" Charles asks him and Seb giggles. He likes Charles, had crazed them to be allowed to go to the after school club he'd set up in the village.

"I like the colours! Daddy said that Pride is cos he and Daddy are allowed to get married. Is that right?"

"Something like that yes. Do you remember we talked about it last week at after school club?"

"When we coloured in?"

"That's right. All of your drawings are hanging up in the church so maybe you can show your Daddies tomorrow."

"OK!"

"Come on chatterbox, let Charles get home."

"He's fine. I'll leave you to it. It looks really good Robert, you've done a great job getting everyone organised, especially last minute."

They take a slow walk home once Robert's done one last check of everything. Aaron's just happy to wait, happy to watch him. It's been a strange couple of years since he came out of prison, ups and downs along the way and he knows Robert's struggled with village events sometimes, feeling as though people are watching him, judging him. Seeing him taking such a delight in organising everything hopefully means he finally feels properly back at home.

"You ready?" Finally finished he kisses Aaron, Seb resting against his shoulder, suddenly tired. "It does look ok, right?"

"Yeah. Proper proud of you I am."

--------

"She's sleeping again." Aaron clicks off the light and slips into bed beside him, not getting any response from his husband. "You ok?"

"Hmm? Yeah. It's just..."

"What?"

"Charles asked me if I'd say something tomorrow."

"Ok, and...you don't want to? I'm sure he'd understand."

"No I do but...I don't know what to say."

"Just say whatever comes to mind. You don't have to make a big speech, just welcome everyone. He wouldn't have asked you if he didn't think you could."

"I just...it has to be perfect."

"Robert, it already is. Look at what you've done, the village looks amazin', and tomorrow is going to be brilliant and that's down to you."

"People helped."

"Yeah, but they wouldn't without you geeing them up. It's all set up now...you get to enjoy yourself."

"Mmm, love you, you know. I'm glad I didn't go that time in London, I'm glad my first pride is with you."

"Soppy git."

--------

"Right, I'm ready." He's barely set a foot on the bottom stair when Robert stops him.

"No."

"What do you mean no?"

"You are not wearing all black. I will suffer it the rest of the year, but not today."

"Why the hell not? Last I checked it was a free country and I can wear whatever I want."

"No Daddy. You has to wear colour! It's the rule." Aaron bends down to Seb who has his arms crossed, mimicking Robert.

"Oh is it? Well I heard that it's the rule to tickle little boys until they shouted me to stop!"

"No! Daddy, stop it! Daddy help me!"

"Seb's right." Aaron stops tickling his son to frown at his annoying husband. Robert's wearing a t-shirt with PRIDE emblazoned across the front in the colours of the bisexual flag and before he can ask what he considers colourful enough he's handing him a bag. "I got you this."

He glares at him a moment longer, pulling what looks like a t-shirt from the bag.

"I knew you wouldn't actually wear proper colour so I got it made up in black." The shirt has 'love wins' across the front made to look like rainbow paint splatters. "Will it do?"

"Fine." He sighs, but he's smiling.

"I, er, I also got these, for the kids." He hands him three more shirts each saying the same thing. "You like 'em?"

"Perfect. Right then, I'll get changed, you can sort them, and then finally we can go!"

Fifteen minutes they're off, Seb running ahead, while Aaron has Aaron on his shoulders, little hands clutching at his hair. Robert's behind them, stopping to adjust Sara's sunhat.

"Seb hang on mate." He stopped at the top of the drive until Robert catches him up.

"Oh my God."

Main Street was full of people, and Aaron couldn't wipe the smile from his face.

"Look what you did."

"Yeah." He sounds stunned.

In the crush, the lose each other after a little while, and it's not until he hears Charles announcing Robert's name that he knows where he is. Making his way to the stage that's been set up next to the church he stands to one side with Sara's pushchair, Ana still on his shoulders. He can see Seb at the side of the stage with Vic so he's happy to stay where he is.

"Um...I don't quite know what to say. When Charles talked about this, I don't think any of us expected quite so many people. Er, it took me a long time to accept who I was, that, um, that I'm bisexual, that it's ok...Fifteen years actually, and now I'm married to the most wonderful man in the world and we've got three kids, and I'm happy. It's been a hell of a journey but I'm truly happy. Anyway I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's ok to not know, to take your time, to go at your own speed...so, have a wonderful day everyone!"

Aaron can barely hear himself think at the cheer, the whistle as Robert steps off the stage, picking Seb up and kissing him as he goes.

It takes a while but eventually they find each other and he sees that Seb had convinced his Daddy to let him get his face painted, cheeks perfectly matching his t-shirt that proclaims 'my daddies love me' with both a pride flag and bisexual flag.

"Was it ok?" Robert asks as Aaron moves Ana so she's standing with Seb, holding onto his hand.

"Did you hear them? It was perfect." He kisses him before hugging him tight. "Love you so much."

"Love you too."

"Daddy I'm hungry! Can we get a cookie from Ganma now?"

He laughs into Robert's neck as the moment's broken. It didn't matter, the whole day has been perfect from start to finish.

#ok so i'm really nervous about this #robron fic #but i couldn't have aaron at pride with ben #it had to be robert #also all black...no #also no andrea #anyway enjoy #and if it's terrible i apologise #ana'verse #i also love the idea of robert and charles being friends #robert needs that person he can go to with his troubles when he doesn't want to burden aaron

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headcans-oneshots-and-stuff · 4 years

Text

Luckiest thing (Drabble)

Warnings: none, except maybe shitty writing tbh Word count: 1,5k Summary: On the fourth of July you have a little surprise for your husbands family

Requested by my amazing @sirkekselord: Hello my wife. Because you never write my fucking things I ask you on Whatsapp... Here I am. Just give me some Jason fluff after what you have done to me. Making me cry twice. Him happy, having a wife and a happy family. Give me the family life. Domestic stuff. Batfam being the great batfam they should be! I am done. So done. Also I'm not gonna ask you on Whatsapp this and I won't look at the fandom list but will you make an exception and write for Eddie Brock? If you don't? Love you sunshine. ♥

A/N: Two things: first, I don’t live in America and have never celebrated fourth of july so this is all just how I imagine it, second: since Gotham is a rather special place, in my fanon lore for this fanfiction there is a city wide ban on all kind of firecrackers and rockets.

It was strange, really, how on almost every other day of the year, no matter if holiday or not, Gotham's villains couldn't give two ducks about if it was a good time to rob a bank or try to bomb an orphanage, but on the week surrounding the fourth of July, the crime rate just dropped. Every year. So, with his family being busy most of the year and unable to remember the last time they all did something together, Bruce decided that it would be a good chance to have a little get-together at the manor. With that choice made, he notified the family and handed over the preparation to Alfred who relished in planning something other than a Gala or a ball or something that would happen again in less than a month. And he wasn't the only one who was more than happy about this possibility, no, when you answered Bruce's call and accepted his invitation you were over the moon. It would be the first time since the wedding that you and Jason would meet the majority of your husband's family in one spot and it was the perfect opportunity for a little surprise.

The few weeks between Bruce's call and the fourth of July passed in a flash and soon you stood in front of the kitchen island in the beautiful house in the outskirts of the city that Bruce had gifted you for your wedding, decorating the blue, red, white cupcakes with matching toppings and little edible stars on all of them except one, which just got a single, big, silver one. "We both know that Alfred will have more than enough food prepared, you're almost offending him when you bring something too," a husky, deep voice told you from behind you, sending a warm shiver down your spine. Along with the words were arms that found their way around your hips and pulled you against a broad, muscular chest. You sighed in content, comfortable as you could be against Jason. "I know, I know," you chuckled and smiled up at him, "But it's tradition to bring something along." Your husband playfully rolled your eyes before leaning down and kissing your forehead. "We should get going soon," you hummed and helped yourself out of Jason's arms, walking over to one of the shelf to get out a transport carrier for the cupcakes, making quick work as to place the inside, while Jason nodded and went into your bedroom to get his festive leatherjacket. When the sweets were stored, you walked over to a mirror in the hall, checking over your outfit. You were wearing a flowy, blue summer dress with red ballerinas and a small red bow in your hair. It was simple, but you felt really cute in it so you just nodded at your reflection and went back to get the carrier before going into the garage to fix it to Jason's motorcycle. "Are you sure we should take the Bike and not the car? I mean-" "Don't worry your pretty little head Jason," you threw him his helmet (a normal one) and started flexing you own, careful not to destroy your hair. Before he could protest again, you jumped onto the vehicle, patting the driver's seat in front of you. You could hear the small sigh that Jason made, but he obeyed and sat down, turning on the motor.

The garden of the manor (or rather the parts of the park-like surroundings that were close to one of the backdoors) looked astonishing. There was a table placed in the middle, decorated with a blue and white tablecloth and red plates and glasses (that Alfred must've extra bought for the occasion), on the trees that were near were little blue, red and white lampions, perfectly placed, along with little star fairy-lights, and on the side stood a rather pompous grill with Alfred standing behind it, wearing a 'The Grillfather' apron. The entire family was standing around in the area. Bruce and Dick were standing the closest, only a few feet away from the backdoor, chatting about something, Tim, Steph, Duke and Cass were sitting on garden chairs in the shadow of a tree and Damian was sitting on the grass, playing with Alfred the cat and Titus (or more like he was playing with Titus and Alfred was laying in the sun). When you and Jason came out in the garden, Alfred was first to notice and come to you. "Hello Master and Misses Todd," he said, winking at you slightly when you blushed at being called Misses Todd for one of the first times since the wedding by anyone besides Jay. "Hello, Alfie-" you pushed the carrier into Jason's arms and went to hug the man "-you really overdid yourself this time, it's beautiful." "Thank you very much," he smiled and you took your cupcakes out of Jason's arms again to give him a chance to hug his surrogate Grandfather. When they parted again, Jason gave you a small kiss on the cheek before going over to Dick and Bruce who were waving over to you. "What do you have here," Alfred said with a curious gaze directed to the box in your hands, prompting you to open it and show him the cupcakes with a smile. "I know you most likely have everything prepared already, but I couldn't help myself and bring something along." "Don't be silly darling," he laughed slightly and took the box out of your hands, "You can never cook enough when cooking for this family." You continued talking for a while before he turned to bring the cupcakes to another table beside the grill that was serving as a buffet and get back to the barbeque.

The noon turned into the evening and everything was going wonderful. For a while, you went around talking to everyone while Alfred and Damian were basically glued to your side, before Alfred called for dinner and everyone sat down at the table, Jason on your right and Damian on your left. The sun was already starting to set, the Lampions were turned on and much brighter than you'd expected when you remembered your little surprise. You poked Jason's thigh under the table to get his attention and he seemed to immediately understand what you meant, smiling at you with just a glimpse of excitement in your eyes. "I know we just ate Alfred's wonderful food, but I tried a little something new for my cupcakes and wondered if you would mind tasting them?" you asked and tilted your head slightly to the side while looking at the people around you and their unknowing faces. A choir of agreement answered you and you clapped into your hands, expectantly looking at your spouse who gave you a small 'Are-you-serious'-face before pushing his chair back to get the cupcakes and placing one in front of everyone. "Why does father get the special one," Damian huffed and crossed his arms in front of his chest, frowning at Bruce's cupcake that had the single big star on top of it. "Uhm...just because," you shrugged, aware of the thinness of that excuse. "Anyway, how about we all try on three yes? Okay," you averted the topic and continued the conversation. "One, two, three," Jason counted and on cue, everyone took a bite out of the little cakes, but your eyes were fixed on Bruce. At first, his face seemed to be very happy with the sweet and full taste, before it contorted in confusion. He pulled the cupcake away from his mouth and used his other to pull something out of it. "What the," he muttered, using his napkin to clean the object and reveal it to be a pacifier. For just a second his eyes were filled with complete confusion until they lit up with recognition. "Are you- Really-" he started and looked at you with almost tear-filled eyes attracting the attention of the others around him. "Yes," you nodded and felt tears also starting to fill your eyes, unconsciously setting your hand onto your stomach. "Whoa!"s and "What?"s filled the air until everyone understood what you and Bruce were talking about. "I'll be a grandfather," Bruce smiled proudly, running over to your side to pick you out of your chair and swirl you around. The rest of the night was filled with congratulations and people cluttering around you and Jason who soon started to slightly feel neglected with all the attention you were giving the people around you. At that moment you felt in the right place, you felt at peace and you knew, that almost running over Jason all these years ago, when you had first met him and almost immediately fell for him. was maybe the luckiest thing that could ever happen...

#Jason Todd #Jason todd x reader #domestic jadon todd #fourth of july #july4th #independenceday #batfam #batfam x reader #batfam imagine #drabble #fluff #Independence Day

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ambidextrousarcher · 3 years

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The Beat of a Heart

In honour of Doctor’s Day (barely in time), here’s a short story by my hand. It’s based mostly on real-life experiences, most of the scenes based on things I have seen in clinical postings. I am not sure whether I got the main character’s emotions right, but I did my best, so I guess that counts.

[Image ID: A stethoscope with blue tubing, silver diaphragm and black earpieces lying on top of a blurred keyboard, a blue pad to the left of the stethoscope, with a piece of blank paper pinned on it. On the bottom left, the words ‘The beat of a heart...’ are written in red England Hand font. End ID]

I’m tagging my usual writer mutuals and putting the actual short story under a cut.

My taglist: @ambitiousandcunning @medhasree @shaonharryandpannisim @chaanv @arjunaparantapa @hindumyththoughts @spockswhore @ashsnipes @annlillyjose @seekerbrave @avakrahn @a-confusedmess @arachneofthoughts @paneerlajwanti @vishnupada @bookdragonfanish @iamnotthat @foreveres @shellweed @will-die-without-chai.

She coughs a little, ignoring the rasp in her throat, wishing she could reach for her water bottle, but is impeded by the sheer number of people between her and the bottle in question. She reaches for the hand rub instead, the familiar smell of ethanol almost soothing for a moment. She blinks, turning to the older man sitting across her, the familiar questions on her lips.

‘Can you tell me why you’re here?’ she asks, noting down the man’s anxiety, trying to make her voice sound soothing. That is all the prompting he needs to launch into his long-winded story. She stretches a little, noticing the line of people in front of her, and the students hanging on each of her words standing behind her chair.

She smiles, looking behind her at the students, gesturing subtly for one of them to take over. ‘Make sure to examine him properly,’ she instructs. The student she had instructed nods, her eyes wide. ‘Yes, ma’am,’ the younger girl responds, leading the man to a bed. She can see the couple of students who had bothered to attend all clustered together, their discussion hushed.

She suppresses a grin. They’ll learn. She herself had. And indeed, one of the the students comes forward tentatively, stopping her peer who had been taking the man’s history, and begins the examination.

She turns to her work, leaving the students occupied for now. It’s a familiar battleground of questions and answers, having to rush the patients because of the lack of time. ‘Ma’am?’ it’s a young gentleman. ‘Yes, sir?’ ‘I am sorry,’ he says hesitantly, ‘I don’t understand what you said.’ She nods. Clears her throat, looking wistfully at the bottle that still is too far to reach, and too empty besides. Looking at it only diverts her attention to the humidity the fan is doing little for, the sweat trickling down her back.

She shakes her head. Do not divert your attention. Her colleague shoots her an understanding look, as she explains the prescription once again. He nods, with a quiet ‘thank you.’ She nods back at him as he leaves.

‘Ma’am?’ She turns once more. If nothing else, she muses wryly, choosing medicine has definitely taught me to multitask. The students lead the first man back to her, their clinical skills enthusiastic if a touch inexperienced. One of the girls excitedly details the sound of an ejection click. She smiles, lending the younger girl her own stethoscope. The girl listens in with the man’s permission in quiet absorption, the ritual being repeated by each of her friends, all of them clearly awed.

The gentleman looks amused at the furore the click of his valves, amplified by his metallic pacemaker, has elicited. She corrects them when needed, leading to a response of all heads nodding at once.

As the clock strikes 1, the students ask for leave to disperse and the crowd of patients mercifully thins. She tells them to go and come back for a short class in the evening, finally leaving behind the pursuit of her elusive lunch and the all-important water.

Her lunch in front of her, her thirst finally quenched, she ruffles through her iPad for information to make the class slides for tomorrow’s discussion. All too soon the short break is over, the slides still unfinished, and she stands, following her friends out of the Duty Doctors’ Room to go on ward rounds. Her eyes flit to a notification on her News app, of a doctor being beaten by goons. She sighs. There is no use pondering over this. I can only do my best. She knows protests do little good, so she hardens her heart and strides out, sliding her phone in her pocket.

Somewhere in the middle of the rounds, the students following her and the senior doctor like ducklings following mother duck, one of them comes running to her. ‘Ma’am,’ his voice is high with fear. She gives him her immediate attention. ‘There’s a man on that bed…’ the boy points, ‘…17, he’s…he’s not really breathing.’

Oh, no. Her friend steps up, running to the patient, while she looks for his details, adrenaline sharpening her senses.

He is a new patient, there is next to nothing on his chart. She can hear a lady wailing and she winces. No one should see their loved one in such a situation, she thinks, even as she squares her shoulders, moving towards the bed, shaking her head at her friend, who had already started CPR. She gently moves the lady aside, trying to console her, even when there is fear in her own heart that the news she might have to deliver could be irredeemable.

‘Doctor?’ asks the lady querulously, ‘you’ll save him, won’t you?’ She looks down for a moment, before meeting the lady’s gaze. ‘We will do our best,’ she replies quietly, grave as the situation is. The lady nods, tears still pooling in her eyes.

She can hear her friend panting. Quiet and quick, she swaps her place with him, continuing CPR. He shoots her a grateful look. She turns her attention to the patient. Between the three of them, they manage to get the patient breathing, she notes with relief. That relief doesn’t last long, though, as she looks the patient over. The catheter connected to him, filled with orange urine, the gross ascites and icterus. He’s on Rifampicin. TB with hepatic encephalopathy. One glance at her friend tells her that he, too, is thinking the same.

The lady with the patient…his wife by the sound of it, reads the grave news on their faces, facilitated, perhaps, by her intubated husband’s gasps of breath. She sinks into the bars of the hospital bed for support. She is at a loss for a moment, as she always is when confronted by the inevitability of death. She kneels then, her hand on the lady’s shoulder, silently commiserating.

When she stands, she looks at the downcast yet awed students and forces a smile. ‘Well,’ she says, stopping them as they turn away, towards the exit, clearly assuming that class is cancelled for the day. She has no intention of doing that, though. They need to learn that life doesn’t stop for those of us still hale.

At the sound of her voice, they turn as one, looking at her with eyes comparable in size to dinner dishes. ‘I’ll just wash my hands and come back,’ she says firmly. ‘You guys go wait in the Duty Doctors’ Room for your class.’ They keep staring at her for a few moments. ‘Go on,’ she instructs. They obey, darting reverential glances at her, talking in hushed whispers. How could someone literally save a life and just go back to normal like that? She hears one of their voices, quiet, dazzled. Despite knowing the truth, the innocent fascination in the boy’s face makes her smile.

I don’t know! She hears one of his friends reply. I want to be a doctor like that, when I finish my degree, when we really become doctors, the girl says, making her smile wider. The younger girl sounds like a young child deciding the goal of her life.

She tamps down the giddy joy and the grief simultaneously warring inside her, long since used to contradictory emotions, keeping a straight face as she strides to the washbasin.

When she enters the Duty room for the class, they’re discussing the exposure she could have had. She smiles wryly for a moment. This kind of exposure is a fact of life, she nearly blurts out, deciding not to, enjoying their impressed approval for a moment, before she clears her throat.

They all look abashed. She decides to proceed as if the moment before had not occurred, which was helped by one of them asking about the man she had done the CPR on. She summarises the case, gives them a few topics to read on and sends them home.

Before leaving the hospital proper, she circulates the wards once more. The CPR patient crashes again. This time, though they try long and hard, the lose the man, the beat of his heart forever silenced.

Her senior takes responsibility of the formalities, telling her to leave. Leave she does, casting one last glance back at the shell of the man, helplessness overtaking her for a moment.

She checks in with her colleague manning the night shift if she is free to go, fighting the uncanny feeling of déjà vu that comes with every patient they lose suddenly, the realisation striking anew that life goes on.

It is a leisurely walk back to hostel, the cool air soothing on her sweat-soaked shirt. She is thinking once more of the next day’s presentation, the number of slides still left to finish off.

After a quick wash-up and dinner, she sits with her iPad. It is nearly midnight when she finishes her work, fighting her drooping eyes. She checks in her WhatsApp, shooting a quick goodnight to her parents. The statues of her medico friends are full of calls for justice against the recent violence. Her non-medico friends are, as usual, conspicuously silent on the matter.

Ah, well, she thinks, it’s not like armchair social media posts can actually do much. Besides, this is not an issue that they face. Why judge? They’re probably thinking the same I do.

She debates posting a status of her own then decides against it, for again, social media can only do so much. The bitter truth can’t be changed.

Her mother’s voice echoes in her head, what mama had said the last time she had shared news of such violence. At least they didn’t kill him. You people get a lot of respect, you know?

She shakes her head, banishing those thoughts. She doesn’t want to have nightmares. Besides, tomorrow, she has to report for ID duty. She needs to be well rested for that. So she thinks of the awestruck students, the young girl’s voice playing in her head. I want to be a doctor like that, she said, when I finish my degree.

She falls asleep with a smile on her face.

When she is leaving for duty the next morning, she loops her stethoscope along the back of her throat, the diaphragm of the steth sitting firmly over her own beating heart. Time for another day at work.

Some terms that might be unknown:

Ejection Click: In some patients with heart problems, there is some backflow of the blood when the heart contracts. This backflow is heard as a ‘click’ sound when a stethoscope is used. This ‘click’ is amplified if the patient has a prosthetic metallic valve, as in case of the old gentleman in the story who is based on a real patient.

Rifampicin: A drug that is part of the four-drug regimen for Tuberculosis (TB). It increases the effect of another drug in the combination, Isoniazid, which is toxic to the liver. India has a huge number of cases of TB, being one of the TB-endemic countries. The orange urine is one of the most noticeable side-effects of using this drug.

Hepatic encephalopathy: Loss of proper brain function due to inability of liver to remove toxins. The patient on whom CPR was administered was in a coma due to this condition. He, too, was based on a real patient.

Ascites: Swelling of the abdomen due to accumulation of fluid in the abdomen.

Icterus: Yellowing of the sclera (whites of the eyes) and bulbar conjuctiva, a hallmark of jaundice.

The doctor here makes the diagnosis of TB with drug induced hepatic encephalopathy because of the ascites and icterus combined with the rifampicin usage and the coma. It is an unfortunately common condition here.

I just noticed that I haven't clarified ID Duty. It means Infectious Diseases ward duty. In this case, I meant COVID-19 duty, though it may not always mean that.

#doctor's day ramble #fiction #sort of #original work #nila writes #scribbler scribbles #nila rambles #doctors #tw: violence against doctors

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vedicnakshatra · 4 years

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Second Marriage in Horoscope

Second Marriage is becoming more and More relevant Nowadays and it is going to become more relevant in the coming days. No of Divorce and separation is increasing in our society at an alarming rate. So We will see how to Predict Second Marriage in astrology. There is a lot of similarity with Prediction of first marriage timing but the houses will differ.

In this article, I will try to give you a step by step guide to determining the possibility of second marriage in astrology and if there is a possibility how will be the condition of that marriage and the timing of second marriage in astrology.

Second Marriage comes into Picture only after the end of First Marriage. So before discussing the second Marriage Let’s see which are the planetary combination in a Horoscope that can spoil or end the first marriage.

Houses which are important for Predicting Marriage

The Primary house for marriage is 7th house from Lagna. This is not only the House of Marriage but also responsible for the relationship in our Life. For example, if 7th house or Lord is associated with 8th house or 12th house or their lord it can give extramarital affair also. Benefic Planet in 7th house will promote a healthy relationship between husband and wife. But any affliction to 7th house and its Lord is an indication that the marriage of the person may suffer. Malefic Planet Like Mars, Sun, Rahu etc in 7th house are detrimental for Happy Marriage.

The next House which we need to see is the 8th house. 8th being the second from 7th, it indicates the sustenance of marriage and also the Maraka for Marriage. If there is an affliction to the 8th house as well as to the 8th lord, Marriage can break. Planets Like Mars, Rahu, Saturn etc in 8th house is capable of ending a marriage.

Second House is the house of family is also need to be seen.

One more thing we need to see except this house and that is Upapada Lagna. Upapada Lagna is the Arudha Pada of the 12th house.

How to calculate the Upapada

Suppose a person is born with Aries Lagna and his 12th Lord Jupiter is placed in Cancer. From 12th house Pisces to cancer, the distance is of 5 Sign. So we will add 5 sign from Cancer and we will reach Scorpio Sign. Scorpio will be the Upapada Lagna for this native.

The second House from Upapada Lagna is very important for the Longevity of the Marriage. If there is Malefic Influence in the second house from Upapada Lagna, there is a possibility of breaking the marriage and having a second marriage in astrology.

We have to see the Navamsa also when considering Marriage prospect. Navamsa Lagna, its lord and 7th house and 7th lord has to be seen. If there is an affliction to the 7th house in Navamsa, there is a high chance of breaking the first marriage. Like if Rahu-Ketu is placed in the 1-7 house of Navamsa, the chances of divorce increases to a great extent.

Planets Which can give Divorce and separation in Astrology

Without Divorce or separation from the first marriage, we cannot go-ahead for a second marriage in astrology. The main agents of Divorce or separation in astrology are Mars, Rahu, Sun and Saturn. Saturn is least malefic in case of Separation. Saturn gives pain and suffering but does not allow a person to break or come out of the relation. If Mars, Rahu or Sun is in 8th house it is a strong indication Separation. Presence of Malefic Planet like Sun and Rahu is Very detrimental for Marital Happiness. Some people will be surprised to see the name of the Sun. But yes, Sun is very much detrimental for Marital Happiness. But I want to share my view with you that a Proper Kundli Matching can reduce the chances of divorce or separation.

The significator for Marriage Venus must be afflicted otherwise a strong Venus can save a marriage.

Planetary combinations for Divorce

Now let’s understand some principles for Divorce and separation in Astrology.

6th house is the House of Enemy, struggle and Obstacles. It is also the 12th house or Loss of Marriage. 8th house is the house of hindrances and Maraka for 7th house. So when 6th lord and 8th lord is present in 7th house, it is a bad Yoga for marital Happiness.

Malefic Like Rahu, Mars and Sun is placed in 7th house can indicate divorce. Mars in 7th house also creates Manglik dosh in the Kundli. If the sun is placed in the 7th house, there can be ego clash among the partners.

If the 7th Lord is Debilitated or afflicted or retrograde it also gives an indication of Bad marriage.

The second House from Upapada Lagna is afflicted by Malefic Planets or debilitated planets can also harm Marital happiness and bring an end to the marriage.

When the 7th house in Navamsa is afflicted by Malefics like Saturn, Rahu/Ketu, Mars etc the chances of divorce is very high.

The Significator of marriage venus when gets afflicted in Rashi chart as well as Navamsa Chart, there is a strong indication of separation in astrology.

Second Marriage in Astrology

Now as we have understood the combination of divorce in astrology, we can check for second marriage in Horoscope. The second is marriage is seen from the 2nd house of Horoscope. 8th house shows Longevity. So 8th house from 7th house i.e. 2nd house will indicate the second marriage in astrology. For third marriage, we have to consider the 8th house from 2nd i.e. 9th house from Lagna. So we need to see the condition of 2nd house and its lord in the Rashi chart as well as in the Navamsa chart. Some people consider 9th house as the house of second marriage in astrology because 9th is the 3rd from 7th. They consider the second spouse to be the sibling of your first spouse. Some people also advice to use 11th house like the house of second marriage astrology. But Eminent Astrologer Mr.Sanjay Rath is of the opinion that 2nd house should be used for second marriage and I have also found it correct in case of Practical example. Readers can try both 2nd, 9th or 11th house for second marriage astrology and see the result.

The 8th house from the Upapada Lagna will indicate the second marriage in astrology. So the 8th house from Upapada Lagna will show the Maya associated with the second spouse and relationship with the second spouse in astrology.

But we must remember one thing, even after the end of first marriage we can not neglect the 7th house. It rules over the physical organ of Sex which is an important aspect of any marriage.

If you are interested to know how your partner will be, you can message, mail, WhatsApp or call.

Combination of Multiple Marriage in Horoscope

Divorce or Breakup of first marriage does not guarantee the second Marriage. So let us see what are the combinations that can give second marriage in Astrology.

Presence of Multiple Planets in 7th house. Specially Planets Like Rahu increases this chance.

If there is malefic influence on 2nd house and 7th house, Multiple marriages can occur.

Lord of 7th house placed in 4th house or lord of 9th house placed in 7th house indicates second marriage.

Mars + Venus placed in 7th house and lord of 7th house placed in 8th house and Saturn posited in 12th house indicates more than one marriage in astrology.

The Dasha-Antardasha must support a remarriage.

When the 7th lord is Exalted and Vargottama there is a chance of second marriage.

If the 7th house is a Dual sign or 7th lord placed in a dual sign, more than one marriage can happen. Gemini, Sagittarius and Pisces are known as a dual sign.

Conditions for Happy Remarriage

If the 2nd House from Lagna is strong and free from Malefic influence, it can give a Happy Second marriage.

When the 2nd house and 2nd Lord in Navamsa is strong and beneficially placed, it also gives an indication of good second Marriage.

The 8th house from Upapada Lagna has to be considered for second marriage. when this house is aspected by benefic and its lord is well placed, it also shows a Happy second Marriage. We have to see the second house from this New upapada i.e. the 9th house from the Upapada Lagna. There should not be any Malefic planets placed in 9th house from Upapada Lagna for a happy second marriage in astrology.

I have tried to give some information about how can we judge a second marriage from Vedic astrology. But do not use them Verbatim. Astrological principles do not work in isolation. We have to see them considering all the factors like aspect, conjunction, divisional chart, Nakshatra, depositor etc.

God Bless You!

#vedic astrology #indian astrology #vedicnakshatra

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