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#how can i fix my brain??????
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medicalunprofessional · 4 months
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never change, man !
#phantom of the paradise#potp#swan potp#nightmaretheater#65 layers and about 24 hours . Eeeyyuppp#Look into my beautiful mind boy#Its a bit unusual to what i usually draw#but i had to push a specific look for this piece#hopefully you all are picking up on the corperate look . the advertisment look#Sneeze. Anyways my point is industry destroys creative people. This includes swan#I feel like phrases like these ; how he was put on a pedistal…. it lead him to be Like That#as awful as he is he desperately needed help#it might seem like vanity on the surface#but i think its… more than that#long story short: we need to destroy the beauty industry. the skincare industry. the anti-aging industry#It ruined his psyche forever and he cant let go of the ideal version of himself he will never truly be again#i dont think he can at this point. hes in too deep and hes suffering for it no matter how much he feels hes fixed his problems#he cant accept a version of himself that isnt that perfect young man. because he never confronted his problems. he just ran away#anyways . Hi swath *punches him**kicks him*#i dont care if nobody gets me lalalalla my truths and headcanons are awesome forever and i live in my own reality lallaallal#sorry i think im gonna be posting about swan alot for a few months hes making me sick#i wass gonna post this earlier but my internet was real bad#*lays down in my pile of pillows* eat up boys. haha#sidenote: drawing white blond people is horrifiying. Boy your skin and hair are the same color. Introduce some contrast to yourself. Please#adding on: its inportant to note this focuses on him looking st himself in the mirror alot on purpouse#to remind himself what he ‘’’’really’’’’ looks like#the 4 middle pannels all represent that too . u have to be in my brain ri get this#sorry for unleashijg another swan essay in my tags. will happen again lol
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ohno-the-sun · 8 months
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Sol
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sen-ya · 6 months
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(I would link back to the post w luffy holdin law post immortality surgery but this app hates me and won’t let me I’m sorry)
THIS ISN’T MY FAULT I WAS EGGED ON IN THE COMMENTS
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skunkes · 2 months
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#a doodley#okkk 2022: the torture chamber....i only sparsely drew al and developed talon (he was borned...) bc my mind was occupied with other things.#2023: exiting torture chamber; it took me a tiny little bit to get back to drawing and ''interacting with'' al again but i did it even#though it was a reminder of the Bad bc he's my copium#summer 2023: i view and witness media and suddenly have like 5 fictional men i cant decide on which to focus... and september (talon month)#comes along so I decide to focus on Talon after not touching him much at all throughout the entire year#(forced this btw i did not wanna do it LOL i didnt even remember how to draw him)#september 2023 to now: talon has infiltrated the brain. but i want to swivel back to al#now: i've forgotten how to Talk to al (just like i did in beginning of 2023)#(and just like i forgot how to talk to talon for most of 2023)#so ive kind of just been replaying the smunker cow al daydreams from when they first met#so I can find my way back...retracing my steps#in doing so ive kind of also forgotten how to interact with talon but still havent gotten back to al#so rn my life is so boring without imaginary bf interactions. just the before sleep plot rehashing daydreams...#or sparse visions of em Sometimes#nobody in my brain rn just like the short period last yr and its distressing#what do i draw without a love obsession.....#how do i pass time without it....! so boring. idk what to do#i miss the me of several yrs ago when i was drawing 50 different aus with al....ive downgraded in skill and imagination and creativity#so bad since then. idk. idk. i hope they come back to me soon#maybe i shld just draw al a lot which is how i kickstarted caring abt talon again almost a yr ago ?#hoping i can get him to come back before my surgery i need my big sexy boy nurse for recovery#(complaining abt things usually fixes em for me so im hoping thats the case here)
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al-luviec · 2 months
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juvie buddies
#alek art#td duncan#td mal#total drama#total drama all stars#(if i want to get technical)#2024#duncan is around 15 here... mal is around 16#ive thought really hard about them these past few days . in my brain they actually knew each other and canon is different#duncan and mike got along really well. in juvie mal refused to speak to anyone about anything and would fight as many people as he could .#he wanted to stay in there and far away from home . they get roomed together and duncan is the first person who mal can talk to . he isnt#scared of him . he relates to him a lot . like -> wow we both act out for attention and people think we are terrible because of it#duncan being a mentally ill teenager seeing mal an also very mentally ill teenager thought 'i can fix him' . mike and duncan speak too here#i cant really see anyone else fronting besides those two . their brain was on lockdown and mike wanted out so bad . i see manitoba as a#gatekeeper so hed handle some sessions with their psych. i want to say they (duncan and mike) get moved to a psyche ward just because#i have more knowledge on being in one and how it goes ... but yeah i like duncan mal a lot . this art isnt ship whatsoever though 🙏 i dont#see them as a couple their dynamic is just better as friends imo#but anyways in all stars they obviously recognize each other but have an unspoken agreement not to say anything abt it#duncan is a known criminal but mike isnt like that . mike hadnt even told zoey about that part of his life . so duncan wanted to respect his#privacy -> then mal starts hurting people and he has to step in . mal isnt a good person by any means but i dont think he was that bad in#juvie . so duncan had to come to terms that his friend wasnt the same person he was years ago (in all stars duncan is ~18 and i think mike#is almost 20... so it had been a while since they last talked)#them getting each other like no other and being in pain because they couldnt really speak . i see them having a conversation still in moon#madness abt their past and history . god i just think abt them and their wasted potential wdym mike and duncan were in juvie together#duncan was in for trespassing or destruction of private property or something really dumb . mal fought his parent(s) and got in for assault#mal was already in when duncan was placed . and duncan was let out early on good behavior + his parents (dad) mostly did it to teach him a#lesson . wrong of them or otherwise . so mal was just kinda stuck there until they realized he was actually not right in the head . think he#knew abt their DID but was only diagnosed in juvie and had to go from there . tbh he shouldve been tried as an adult but td logic . doesnt#matter dw guys . mike gets the 'was put on random meds that made him go braindead' treatment bc that was me . post mental hospital abilify#had me messed up
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hylianane · 6 months
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Do you think. That after Sanji asked Zoro to kill him. He took a moment wonder if, had Kuina lived to adulthood, at the end of their journey, would whoever killed Mihawk first have to fight the other to protect their title? Do you think the next time they fought after Sanji’s request, Kitetsu would cut just a little too close to Sanji’s throat, because her master was too preoccupied thinking, would I have been able to do it? Kill her, if it came to that? For my dream? and later when he’s carefully wiping Sanji’s blood off his blade, do you think, that maybe he would think- the dream was hers before it was mine. Would I have felt betrayed, then, if she killed me? Or proud? Pleased? Happy?
When Sanji interrupts his thoughts to say, what the hell has got you so distracted? Am I too boring for you to take seriously? do you think Zoro would glare at him in silence cause there’s no way for him to articulate that he’s never taken anything more seriously in his life.
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cxinis · 8 months
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wont stop the damen babygirl-ification
( inspo from @outfits4urblorbo )
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carlyraejepsans · 10 months
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aro papyrus warrior forever..... however. papyton doth compel me
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squashberri-art · 1 year
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Sam compilation, what can I say I just Sam
This was actually me practicing doing his face so pls ignore some of the more beaten up ones
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i wanted to try my hand at slamming Home with the puppetification beam. i told myself i wasn't gonna get attached. im attached. not sure about the outfit tho
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svtskneecaps · 1 year
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took advantage of what may apparently be the last quiet qsmp night for a WHILE to watch through some day 1 vods, since i didn't hop on the train until mid april. holy SHIT there is gold in those metaphorical hills. one day i gotta make a compilation fr but it is so tedious the way i get clips.
anyway here's a collection of highlights:
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faunabel · 2 months
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my fave form of what's basically friends to lovers is when two people meet and have all their own baggage and the connection they form together and love they have for each other forces them to unpack all that baggage if they want to make things work. the kind of relationship where you're forced to look in the mirror and stop avoiding ur own problems because that person forces u to confront all of them (and u force them to confront theirs, too) because the relationship will Not work if you keep up all these walls either from your person of interest or even from urself!!! and there's too much of something there to give up and move on because it's difficult
the kind of thing where there's romance but the real plot of it all is self transformation through loving another. like the focus is on two individuals w/ their own lives who come together and have romantic feelings for each other vs the romance itself being the plot.
and maybe in the end they don't even stay together! maybe it doesn't work out! but there's drastic change and an undeniable impact they both made in each other's lives that will live on. is changing for the better not love in its rawest form?
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b4kuch1n · 1 year
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ough brain is doing SO bad but sometimes. there are colors
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zebratimw · 1 year
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Spirit animal SQH
#svsss#shang qinghua#but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but#but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee#also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but#I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg#oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left#I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something#or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird#LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm#I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either#I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself#eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it...#I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up#I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa#man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong#cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk#its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment#with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig#and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down#but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀#irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living...#just the ol regulars yknow?#and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want?#I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what?#whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate?#so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it?#that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications#and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly#man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk
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hopeswriting · 1 year
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i love you characters who know exactly who they are, monstrous parts and all. monstrous parts and nothing else. i love you characters who embrace it fully and wholly, who are happy and at peace with who they are and have no intention to ever change their ways or interest in becoming a better version of themselves. i love you characters who've painstakingly perfected being monsters, and so they'd know they're already the best version of themselves. characters who've weaponized their monstrous parts to get every single thing they want out of life, and who are unashamed and unapologetic and proud and bold about it.
i love you characters perfectly self-aware of their monstrous parts who gleefully look straight back at the rightfully deserved and earned scorn, judgment and condemnation thrown their ways with wide grins that's all teeth. characters who say "you're right, i am a monster. and you should try to stop me. but can you?" and it's a threat. i love you characters who won't stand for anyone telling them they don't get to have love and happiness because of their monstrous parts. characters who'll stop at nothing to take hold of love and happiness of their own in spite of the world telling them they don't get to have those things, and who don't care to become even more irredeemable than they already are along the way. i love you monstrous characters who hold tightly onto the broken and bleeding forms of the love and happiness they took for themselves with no intention to ever let go of them even if it means they shatter in their hands. characters who'd rather they shatter in their hands before ever letting go of them, and who made sure to first break them and make them bleed so they could fit within their hands to begin with. i love you characters who don't think it makes it any less meaningful or worthy, and who would do it all over again and even worse if need be because how else can a monster even love anyway but with sharp teeth and claws and your blood and tears warm on their lips and tongue?
i love you characters whose monstrous parts are their oldest and most loyal and trustworthy companions. characters who find comfort in their monstrous parts and are ruthlessly and mercilessly protective of them. i love you characters who can't even fathom who they could possibly be other than monsters, and yet have this gaping, bottomless pit of loneliness and yearning for something they couldn't possibly know the name of. i love you characters who've been monsters for as long as they've had that gaping and bottomless pit inside them as far as they can remember.
i love you monstrous characters who've never imagined they could ever be loved back for the monsters they are, but then they are. monstrous characters who've never imagined the broken and bleeding forms of the love and happiness within their hands could choose and want to stay right there anyway, but then they do. i love you characters who suddenly have to confront and grapple with the idea that maybe they can be something else other than monsters once they're loved. i love you monstrous characters who're loved anyway, monstrous parts and all. monstrous parts and nothing else. i love you monstrous characters loved for being monsters first and foremost, monstrous characters loved because they're monsters, and not in spite of it.
i love you characters who know no amount of love given to them will ever change the fact they're monsters. i love you characters being loved anyway with a love that doesn't ask or want or expect them to become any less monstrous for it, but they want to try to change for it anyway. i love you monstrous characters who are loved and whose nature won't change for it, but maybe their ways can. i love you characters who try to make their monstrous parts a little less sharp and jagged and deadly, a little less often bloody and a little more merciful and kind out of being loved as they are anyway. i love you monstrous characters learning to let go of the broken and bleeding forms of the love and happiness within their hands, and having their whole world turned upside down when they choose to stay anyway. i love you monstrous characters being made completely undone not by the forgiveness for the broken and bleeding parts, but by the acceptance of them.
i love you characters who are monsters and loved anyway and who don't become any less of monsters for it, but so what of it? after all when is a monster not a monster? when there's no changing of their nature, and yet they try to not give in to it anyway just because they were born with sharp teeth and claws and a craving for blood that'd make it so easy to.
i love you monstrous characters who are loved and don't become any less of monsters for it, but who still keep being loved anyway.
i love you monstrous characters resolving to try to become more human even knowing they'll never really succeed at it because they still keep being loved anyway.
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