#how do i keep getting so many notes with trek posts???

[dorothygale]

i think every trek series should time travel to the trouble with tribbles. for different, increasingly convoluted reasons. they're all running past each other on the enterprise

[zee-rambles]

Lets. D0. This.

(Please note: Post will be updated as I find more resources and think of more strategies)

(Please do not re-use gif without permission…unless it’s to save Rise…)

Mutant May

YOU can watch Season 1 and Season 2 of RISE right HERE!

So I’ve seen a a lot of people still wondering if Rise of the TMNT can be saved.

There’s is a lot of hope, especially with the boom of fans joining the fandom after the movie dropped last year, people making more art on tumblr, twitter, tik tok, and so on. But also a a lot of doubt, especially after JJ Conway’s post on twitter.

BUT…I still think there is a chance…a GOOD chance. WITH ORIGINAL CAST AND CREW! Why?

We live in the internet. Information is more then easy to get out now thanks to social media. There is all kinds of ways to get the word out to people. Let’s abuse it. 😎

Fans have brought back shows before.

We need a MAJOR push through social media, more fans, more art, it’s up to us…and I think we can do it!

Fans convinced Netflix to bring Sense8 back for a finale

Fans convinced fox to bring back “Futurama” after it was cancelled in 1999.

Hey Arnold got the jungle movie thirteen years after the show was cancelled

Animaniacs got a 3 season revival 22 years after it stopped airing.

Brooklyn 99 was cancelled in 2018, and the fans convinced NBC to pick up the series.

Arrested Development was canceled after 3 seasons, but AFTER it was cancelled, it grew an audience and they made it come back!

Fans saved the original Star Trek in the 60s with letters.

They did it. Why can’t we?

So what can we do?

Well…

1. PETITIONS TO SAVE RISE that we can all sign…

PETITION 1 (The strongest one, but the more petitions signed, the better!)

PETITION 2

PETITION 3

PETITION 4 (save the content that was cut/we missed)

PETITION 5! (Make an ROTTMNT season 3)

2. Pester Nickelodeon and Netflix on social media (THE BIG ONE Y’ALL, THIS IS THE MOST DIRECT AND IMPORTANT)

Be polite, be non-toxic (don’t be rude or mean, the boys would not want that, and the Nick/Netflix won’t listen), but be LOUD, PASSIONATE, AND ANNOYING! Ask for DVDs of the show/movie, and then BUY THOSE DVDs!

MAKE SURE TO ASK FOR THE FULL ORIGINAL CAST AND CREW TO COME BACK, INCLUDING ANDY SARIANO AND ANT WARD.

Sample DM/Letter (but try to come up with your own. Too many repeats and they will ignore it)

“Dear Nickelodeon/Netflix/Viacom, I can’t tell you how much Rise means to me, and I really love that you put the show on air. But it was not fair that the show was cancelled before it got the chance to reach the audience it deserved, only because of a few bad reviews and a lack of advertising. The show is great, there’s tons of fans, tons of art, and people, including me, want so much more! Please bring it back! We want the original crew to come, Flying Bark, for the show to get it’s full second season restored, and it’s five season run like it was originally intended. People hated the 2012 TMNT when it came out, but it got it’s chance and now there are people that love it. Why can’t Rise of the TMNT have the same? It’s clear that the creators love their work and there’s a growing fan base for it. Rise just came out at the wrong time, but it deserves it chance to shine.”

The more personal you made the letter, the more you say what Rise means to you, the better.

As for me? I’m sending them a picture of Pizza Pigeon with the #wewantmoreriseoftheTMNT and #saverottmnt

Request movies/seasons on Netflix.

Ask for Rise Season 2, another season, another movie. Just keep asking!

Nickelodeon’s facebook page (Look, I know that facebook is a relic at this point, but the more people go there and PESTER Nickelodeon, the better!)

Rise’s facebook page

Leave good reviews. Share. Leave TONS of comments

Nickelodeon’s instagram

Nickelodeon’s Twitter page (treat carefully, there be Musks out there…only use if you are over 18)

Nickelodeon’s TikTok

Niceklodeon’s letter inbox

Nickelodeon, 1515 Broadway, New York, NY 10036

Rugrats was brought back because fans bombarded Nickelodeon with letters saying they wanted it back. Might as well cover our bases. This one is a BIG DEAL!

Nickelodeon’s Corporate Number

1-212-846-2543 Call them! Annoy them! Ask how we can get their attention! Tell them why you love this show! Why it deserves to come back.

Contact Paramount

Paramounts Request form

Official Fan Page Rise’s Instagram

The more followers the better.

Netflix’s instagram

Netflix’s facebook

Netflix’s Twitter (Treat carefully. There be MUSKs out there…only use if you are over 18)

SPAM NICKELODEON’S EMAILS!

feedback@nick.com

contactus@nick.com

Letterbox@nick.co.uk

help@paramountplus.coM

If anyone has any more, any deeper more direct points of contact, or more ideas, please share!

3. Leave good reviews for Rise anywhere and raise awareness everywhere you can!

One of the key reasons Rise did not do too well because it was unfairly review bombed before people could give it a chance…so get out there on tik tok, IMDB, Rotten Tomatoes, and ESPECIALLY youtube.

Make reviews! Analysis! JOKES! Support other content creators! When the Rise Reanimated video comes out, share it like no tomorrow!

No one paid attention when How to Train Your Dragon came out, but word of mouth and people saying it was good, made it the success it was. Let’s repeat history!

Anytime there is NEW RISE CONTENT on Nickelodeon’s YouTube channel, watch it, share, spread it.

Share this post on social media, across various sites, use the information here to spread awareness about how people can help and what they can do. Be relentless! (Like Leo in Lair Games)

Ask influencers to review, react, and give RISE a chance without placing judgement.

4. Make. ART!

Draw, Write, TWEET, Make MERCH, Sell MERCH, Make Tik Toks, Videos on YouTube, posts on instagram, discord, what pad, demanding more Rise, spreading the word, and just showing how much you love this show! Not only will it attract attention, but it’s also good for all of us. There will be more Rise content either way.

Make sure to @ nickelodeon on ALL of your art! SPAM THEM! ANNOY THEM! DROWN THEM IN LOVE FOR THIS SHOW! Demand DVD’s and Blue rays of the SHOW AND THE MOVIE! It’s not fair that we can’t have access to it!

PLAY THIS GAME!

If you see official Rise MERCH in the while, buy it if you can! Also support as many rise content creators as you can. If you can’t draw? Write! If you can’t create! Like! Share! Comment! Support each other!

Rise April ART Challenge

Keep in mind…there WILL be pushback.

Companies as big as Nickelodeon and Viacom care about their bottom line: $$$…money. BUT pushback, whether they are taking down your videos on Tik Tok, striking artists on twitter, mean that they’re taking NOTICE. So don’t. Give. UP!

One last thing to remember: DO NOT harass fans for enjoying other versions of TMNT

Even though Rise is the first and only TMNT I have ever loved, I don’t believe in shaming other fans for looking forward to, or enjoying other TMNT series. Gatekeeping like that was what stopped Rise from (heh) Rising as high as it should have. All Rise fans are welcome, and all TMNT fans are welcome. Rise deserves to reach more fans, it deserves another season, and it does not need to knock down other TMNT series to do it. Show them your love and your need for more Rise, without making other TMNT fans feel unwelcome.

Share, spread the word, give it your best shot! A village can move MOUNTAINS! SO let’s do it.

So that in the near future…we can MAKE THIS JOKE!

[eideticallys]

If you won't do it, I will.

pairing: spencer reid x reader

summary: you were so engrossed with images of you kissing Reid and him kissing you back that you forgot one detail—the man could wake up at any moment without you noticing. and he did wake up. You just failed to notice, too busy ogling his pink lips.

genre: fluff & angst

word count: 3.7k

author's notes: another tooth-rotting spencer reid fluff because i said so! you can listen to watch you sleep by girl in red & out of my league by fitz and the tantrums while reading this because those were the songs i listened to while writing this and i think they fit really well with this fic. also posted on ao3 (spencereids).

THAT DARN SUNLIGHT, YOU SHOULD GET YOUR BLINDS FIXED WHEN YOU’RE FREE—THEN IT HITS YOU. You just got it fixed about two weeks ago. You are definitely not in your room.

Scrambling to get up, you were about to jump off whichever bed you ended up in last night when you felt a warm, lithe arm tucked underneath yours, clasping you in a soft embrace like a lover. Now that you think about it, you could feel this person’s hair tickling your chin and their warm breath against your neck.

This is seriously freaking you out. You have no idea who you are cuddling with. Jesus Christ, how many shots did you drink last night? Why would the team let you go home drunk with some guy? 

Gently, you removed the arm wrapped around your waist and slowly pushed away the brunette positioned snugly between your head and shoulder. No way.

The person you are cuddling with is none other than your genius coworker.

Dr. Spencer Reid.

Like any other normal person would do—no person in their right mind would sleep with their coworkers, literally and figuratively—you checked yourself for any presence of clothing. Thank God, you did not completely lose your mind last night and slept with Reid. But it still doesn’t explain why you were wearing his faded Star Trek shirt and one of his pajama pants.

Fucking hell, did he change your clothes for you? You were ready to catch the next plane and disappear at this point.

You were about to start berating yourself for getting into this mess when you noticed how the sunlight made the man beside you look more angelic than usual.

The sun seemed to caress every freckle on his face, the slight pink tinge from the cold morning air, and his hair—although unruly from the tossing and turning during the night—could pass for that of a shampoo model. Pretty.

And his lips.

They looked even more inviting right now, pink and full and parted slightly, as he breathed in and out small puffs of air, finally sleeping soundly following a week of sleepless nights tracking down an unsub. You roamed your eyes once more on his face, starting from his hair and down to where his upper body was covered by an old shirt and the blanket you shared—forgetting your initial dilemma as to how you ended up in bed with your coworker (whom you have a big crush on).

Thank goodness you did not have sex with the one guy you were practically in love with for years. It would be nice to remember every detail of that rendezvous—if that ever happens. You groaned inwardly. This is not the time to fantasize about your coworker, Y/N! You need to get out of bed and out of his house.

But a part of you longs to keep pretending that this is real. That sleeping next to—cuddling, let us be honest—Reid is a usual occurrence. Pursing your lips, you closed your eyes and willed yourself to go back to sleep. Let the future version of you worry about how you will handle waking next to your coworker. Except you could not.

You wished you could tattoo what Reid looked like in the early morning light when he was asleep and without that crease between his brows that seemed to be etched permanently from all the stress of chasing unsubs around the country.

You gotta admit, some days, you yearned for Reid’s eidetic memory. You wished you could have memories of him engraved in your brain that no matter what you do, you could not help it. He would be there. A persistent thought. But then again, you were in too deep with your feelings for the man that you think, even without an eidetic memory, you could definitely recount all your favorite memories with him in a heartbeat.

So, you chose to stay awake.

This is not looking good for you. How else would you explain to someone—your coworker, of all people—who just woke up why you were staring at them while they slept. God, you are down horrendously.

He looked so peaceful like this. Pink cheeks, freckles, and messy hair. He looked so adorable you wished you could pepper his face with kisses and bury your face in his chest. And he is snoring lightly. He is endearing.

You are never getting another chance like this. This will not hurt anyone, right?

Hence, you took in every tiny detail, every freckle, every mole, and every scar you could see. You committed to memory every inch of skin your eyes could reach before the man beside you woke up. You tried to learn by heart what this man looks like when he is untroubled and at peace—what he looks like in the eyes of his future lover when they wake up next to him because that would never be you.

It would never be you.

And that could happen any day now. Reid was bound to find someone who would love him. He was the easiest person to love. He was not a prince charming nor the male lead of a romance novel kind of guy, But he has this boyish charm.

Let us be real. Reid was probably the most uncoordinated guy alive and the most socially awkward person ever. But you were taken by him. The moment he started spewing facts and statistics about anything and everything under the sun, you were done for.

He could talk to you about why worms were called worms and the probability of people dying on their birthdays. And you would listen to him willingly. You were that taken by him. Not to mention, it does not help your case that Reid was probably the prettiest person alive. Well, not literally, but he was that close to being the prettiest person—in your opinion of course.

He had messy, brown curls that looked like they barely experienced the touch of a comb, but you knew they were soft. You knew because every time Reid did something endearing—everything he did was endearing, for you—you always ruffled his hair. This would make him grumble about how he had to fix it again and to which you would reply with a cheeky, You know what a comb is? And Reid would roll his eyes at you.

He had hazel eyes that reminded you of a puppy dog. They were mostly brown with a tinge of green. Most days, it reminded you of being cozy, drinking hot chocolate by the fire. They looked like you were coming home. They always looked like they were pleading for you to stare at them. And you admit you have lost count of the many times Reid had to flick his fingers in front of you with a matching Earth to Y/N and a mini history lesson starting with a Did you know that the history behind that phrase comes from science fiction movies showing people on earth sending messages to people in space?

And Reid always wore the fluffiest cardigans and sweater vests, reminding you of your teddy bear collection at your childhood home. It was crazy how if you saw anyone else in the law enforcement track having the same fashion sense as Reid, you would probably think of them as ridiculous. He wore a pair of black converse sneakers, among other things. For heaven’s sake! Come on! You have to go after seasoned criminals—you at least have to look the part. Right? You have to look imposing and menacing to intimidate them in interrogation rooms. However, the teddy bear look—as you’d like to call it—works so well for Reid. 

What is more, is that Reid fits your ideal type. He is probably the poster boy for it. Ever since you were never into the macho guys and their big muscles. No offense to them because those are their bodies. They look good, but you like your men a little scrawny. You liked lean and really tall men. And Reid is definitely that. He may have failed his fitness test a gazillion times, but the man was in no way, shape, or form, unhealthy. He had the right muscles at the right places and besides, he literally goes after serial killers. He is fit alright.

Lost in your thoughts, you were damn near ogling the man beside you and ended up looking fixedly at his lips. You always thought he had kissable lips, minus the fact that it is probably because you were practically in love with the guy.

You wanted to kiss him so bad it is killing you right now. But in your good conscience, you couldn’t and you wouldn’t. You were completely aware of Reid being a germaphobe, and he has mentioned countless times, kissing is more hygienic than shaking another person’s hand, kissing a sleeping person was out of the books for you. One, the person couldn’t consent because they were unconscious. Two, you were not his lover. Kissing him while he was asleep would be a violation to him. Not to mention, unwelcomed and creepy as hell. Imagine waking up and someone has their lips slobbering your face. Icky!

You were so engrossed with images of you kissing Reid and him kissing you back that you forgot one detail—the man could wake up at any moment without you noticing.

And he did wake up. You just failed to notice, too busy ogling his pink lips.

“If you won’t do it, I will.”

You froze in place.

Like a deer caught in the headlights, you rushed to leap out of Reid’s bed—almost toppling over on the floor in an unladylike fashion. You probably would look worse than Reid when he was huffing and puffing during his last fitness test mandated by the bureau.

But before you could jump out and run away from the man beside you, Reid had all but effortlessly pulled you towards him. You ended up burying yourself into his chest face first as you clutched his shirt to break the fall. It is not even 8 am in the morning yet, and you have managed to embarrass yourself enough for your parents to cut off all ties with you. You would rather dig yourself a hole to die in than be here.

Knowing you have nowhere else to escape, you believe it was time to lie on the bed you made. Sluggishly, you pulled your face away from the lean chest you descended on and peeped up at the angelic face you’d been staring at for the past hour with a sheepish smile.

“H-hi, Reid!”

This is just pure torture. Reid probably knew why you looked like an actual tomato with how red you are, at this moment. He is smiling at you like a cat who ate the canary as he suppressed a laugh.

“I didn’t know you had a clumsy side to you, Y/L/N,” Reid snickered.

What?

“What?” You frowned, which made Reid chuckle some more, shaking his head.

“Nothing,” you scrunch your brows as you tilt your head in confusion, “You just seem so formidable on the field and interrogation room. I’d hate to be the one you’re tracking down,” Reid responded.

“Oh, um,” you grinned as you thought of the perfect rib for the man in front of you, “Just because I’m an FBI agent doesn’t mean I can’t be uncoordinated every now and then. I mean, I know plenty of agents who are quite the klutz on the daily,” you peered at him while he gawps in protest.

“Hey!” He argued, scowling at you.

God, he’s endearing.

“I didn’t mention any names,” you chortled, raising your hand in defense, which made him roll his eyes.

You cracked up at his juvenile actions. In turn, Reid smiled in amusement.

God, you can’t believe that you’re laying on a bed beside Reid. With Reid—like it’s an everyday thing. The smiles. The banter. The laughter. This is crazy. You could get used to this. Sleeping next to him and not just next to him—like the ones you have during your cases where you get to be roommates. No, sleeping on one bed, next to each other. Waking up next to each other. Hearing his gruff morning voice.

You could get used to this.

You can’t.

You shouldn’t.

Reid is your friend. A coworker. You shouldn’t be fantasizing about sleeping and waking up next to him, that is unprofessional. Not to mention, you would be breaking one of the golden rules of the bureau. Never fraternize with a fellow agent on the same unit. 

Seemingly lost in thought, you retreated from the man beside you, as you grimaced.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing, Reid,” you smiled glumly, “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it,” you patted his cheek gently.

“Is this about you waking up in my bed? I swear no—”

“I know, Reid,” you sighed, “You would never hurt me. I was drunk last night. I’m sure you brought me here because you were too tired to take me home. We just got back from a case and I shouldn’t have drank a lot of shots after all the sleepless nights,” you were slowly sitting up now, “But thank you, Reid. Thank you for taking care of me.”

“Always, Y/N.”

This made you smile.

Trust Reid to always make your heart flutter at the tiniest gestures. He’s probably the most genuine and compassionate person you know. It breaks your heart every time you remember that his actions might make you feel butterflies in your stomach, but he does them not because he sees you romantically—he just does them because that is just how he is—caring.

“I’m gonna get up now,” you muttered.

“So, that’s it?”

This made you pause.

“What do you mean?” You looked at him, to which he scoffed.

“You know what I mean, Y/N.”

“No, I really don’t, Reid,” you scowled, growing irritated at this whole situation, his riddles, and him, for being so perfect, “So, you better tell me because you scoffing at me is slowly infuriating me.”

“You spent an hour, eighteen minutes, and thirty-eight seconds watching me sleep,” Reid shared as matter-of-factly, as if to say "You aren’t slick, Y/N, " which made you sputter in indignation. At this rate, you wouldn’t be surprised if Reid would be considered by the Guinness World Records as the first omniscient person on earth with his brilliant mind. The man has an IQ of 187 for Pete’s sake!

“If that doesn’t tell you anything, then I don’t know what will,” he finished.

“First of all,” you started, “I did not watch you sleep.”

This made the man raise one brow at you. Liar.

“Second of all, if I did watch you sleep and you felt it,” you continued pointedly as if to tell Reid you weren’t watching him sleep. “Shouldn’t you have called me out on it? Why did you let me be then?” 

“I don’t know. Okay?”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” You pushed, crossing your arms.

“I woke up just a few minutes after I felt your stare,” Reid began rambling, “Did you know the reason why we feel someone is looking directly at us is that we have this system called the gaze detection system? I woke up a few minutes after I felt you staring.”

You smiled fondly at the man prattling facts from the back of his brain. This was your favorite version of Reid. The one who knows anything and everything under the sun and can probably talk about them if you asked him to. But right now, you have had enough of that. You won’t allow him to distract his adorable babbling from knowing why he let you stare at him.

Maybe he shares the same feelings with you.

“Reid,” you exhaled, “that still doesn’t explain why you let me watch you sleep.”

This made the man’s cheeks start dusting with pink. You were aware of the fact that it should have been the questioning done the other way around. You literally breached his privacy in his own home but you couldn’t help it. You wanted to know if he feels the same way as you. You wanted to know everything now rather than later. You know you’d probably get rejected but you wanted to get it over with.

“I wanted you to kiss me.”

This made you gasp, eyes widening—you think they were about to come out of their sockets. Reid blushed some more with your shocked expression. 

“I didn’t know what to do,” he continued explaining, “so I pretended to be asleep but I wanted you to kiss me. I thought that you would kiss me but you didn’t. So, I waited.” He looked down at his lap and bit his lip.

With your initial shock wearing off, you practically looked like a wild animal pouncing on the bed. Reid yelped at how quick you moved from where you originally stayed put. Without further ado, you reached for him. Thumbs caressing his rosy cheeks, you stared at his hazel irises.

“Are you sure about this?” You asked gently, wanting to be sure that he wants this just as much as you do. Before you could say anything else, Reid pressed his lips against yours.

As soon as you felt his lips against yours, your eyes closed. His lips were warm and soft—a little chapped but you didn’t mind. It feels perfect against yours. You didn’t want this to end but you want to see him—feel more of him. So, you did. You buried one of your hands in his curls as you caressed his chiseled jaw. Warmth blossomed in your chest as you realized you were kissing the guy you’d been pining for years and he is kissing you back.

You could taste your shared breath and feel the flutter of his long lashes against your cheeks. He tilted his head slightly in the opposite direction and nudged his nose against yours as your lips parted slightly, allowing him to slip his tongue inside.

You wanted to open your eyes. You wanted to see the faint constellations on his face, admire the slight scrunch of his brows when he’s focused—you had a feeling after this kiss is over, being with him won’t be as easy as it was before. You would be ruined knowing what it was like to kiss him. But you were so tired of longing for him. And his mouth was the softest mouth you have ever kissed. And nobody has ever kissed you like this before—loving and warm.

You didn’t stop kissing Reid until you felt like you were running out of air from running. So, you held his shoulders and distanced your face from his. He tried chasing your lips but you dodged him. Instead, you looked down at your lap. You felt your tears and willed them to not fall. Not here, not now, not in front of him. You wouldn’t want him to pity you.

“Hey, Y/N,” Reid placed his warm hand against yours, “What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?” His thumb caressed your hand soothingly.

“That’s the thing, Reid,” you explained, looking up at him right now as he flinched, noting the tears glistening in your eyes, “Nothing’s wrong. The kiss was perfect. You’re perfect.” You could see his shoulders sagging in relief after what you said. “And because of that, I can’t just pretend that what happened was normal because it isn’t. I know it won’t happen again so I can’t get used to it. And you know I’m not the type to kiss someone unless they mean that much to me.”

You were about to explain some more when you felt Reid pull you. You gulped when you felt the tickle of his breath in the junction of your neck and shoulder. “I really like you, Y/N. If it isn’t obvious,” Reid muttered shyly, “I’ve liked you for quite some time now.”

“Oh.”

If this was difficult for you, it was difficult for Reid as well—if not more—to be vulnerable about his feelings. You knew about how difficult it was for him growing up, being the only twelve-year-old prodigy in a public high school. He’s been through so much with his dad leaving and having to take care of his mom. He’s never had a proper experience with just about everything from making friends, being a normal kid, and in this case, harboring romantic feelings for someone—you.

So, you did what you thought could convey that the feeling was mutual. You gently wrapped your arms around him and nuzzled your face into his brown locks. He smelled of crisp pages of a book with a hint of pine. If you thought your favorite version of Reid was him rambling about facts and statistics, you’re probably going to give that version a run for his money. Because this version of Spencer Reid right here—the one who chose to be vulnerable, the one who chose to open up to you not knowing if the feeling was mutual—is probably your new favorite version of him.

“If it isn’t obvious to you, Dr. Reid,” you began, “I’ve liked you for quite some time now too.”

With that, you pulled him away from being tucked into your neck and kissed him again. You felt him grin widely, as you showered his pretty face with pecks, and you could not be happier. Before you could shower him with more kisses, Reid started spouting statistics about office romances.

“One in ten heterosexual couples in the United States meet at work.”

“Lucky for us,” you said as you tried to bury your nose in Reid’s neck, which made him giggle. "We are that one couple in the BAU. Now, shut up, so I can kiss you some more.”

This made Reid guffaw.

You couldn’t be happier waking up next to your coworker.

[dancingtotuyo]

Before | 1. the mountains are screaming

A Woman Story

Rating: Mature

Series Summary: Five peeks into your past before Joel Miller reentered you life

Summary: you’re alone and in need of supplies but a trip down the mountain brings you much more.

Tags: The Last of Us, set in the Woman universe, love, loss, loneliness, backstory, slight enemies to lovers vibes.

Warnings: talk of loss and grief (spouse,brother& kids), violence, blood, fight, guns

Notes: those drabbles I referenced, yeah they turned into a mini series within the Woman series! 3 chapters to be posted before we delve back into the main story with 2 more to follow on alternating weeks!

Shoutout to @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin for taking a look at this! I adore you my dear 💚

Words: 3632

Series Masterlist | Woman Masterlist | Author Masterlist

You’ve put it off long enough, but you’re low on supplies, and the homes within comfortable walking distance are long-picked over. You know going into Jackson is your best bet, but it’s a full day’s walk just to get there, and you haven’t been there in years. You don’t know if it will be abandoned still, crawling with infected, or crawling with people. It’s risky leaving the house unattended for so long, but you haven’t seen another human being in almost 2 years. In theory, no one should be here when you get back.

You have to go, and you have to go tomorrow. Winter will be upon you before too long. You figure you’ll need to make a couple of trips to get you through the winter.

You set out as soon as it’s light out. The trip there is easiest, going downhill with your pack light. You can’t even consider the trek back.

Alone, the town feels more unnerving. A few windows are broken here and there, doors rotted out in places, but relatively untouched. Dust collects in inches. You’re shocked by how much is left intact, like the town has been preserved by fate. You stuff your bag with canned foods, carefully inspecting each one before moving to the first aid supplies.

Your pack is full when you hear it, a collection of voices. A strong command echoes to spread out and clear the buildings. Your heart drops to your stomach. You should’ve come a day earlier. Procrastination has come to collect its dues just like it did in college, except this isn’t your GPA. It’s your fucking life.

You glance out the window. Several people with rifles flank the street, five in your sights, but you hear more. So many more. A couple of horses whinny. You slink behind a shelf, pressing your back against it. You have minutes, seconds maybe before they find you. There are too many to shoot your way out. You have to find a way to slip out undetected.

You scan the store, spotting the back entrance. Maybe they won’t be out back. There’s a thicket of trees around the north edge of the city. If you can make it there without them spotting you, maybe you can hide out until it’s dark enough to travel to the mountain tree line. It’s a long shot, but you’re a sitting duck here.

You move quickly, careful to stay out of sight. Your boots are heavy on the floor. The voices grow in number and volume. Your hand touches the cool door knob. You take a moment to steady yourself. There’s no time for nerves or doubts. You crack the door open. The alley is clear.

It’s open on both ends, doing nothing to ease your nerves, but the bright fall colors from the thicket call your name. Sticking close to the wall, you make sure to keep any noise to a minimum. Your heart races with each new voice.

You’re almost to the end of the alleyway. The trees are 50 yards away, a couple of houses to keep you covered as you move toward them. You can do this. Then the crunch of gravel bounces off the walls of the alley. You glance behind you. Your eyes connect with brown ones. Time stands still like a deer in a hunter’s crosshairs just before he pulls the trigger. You might look just as wild. Before he can alert anyone, the adrenaline hits. You take off toward the trees, all sense of stealth gone.

He yells and then starts after you, but you can’t spare the time to look behind you. You can’t outrun him, but if you can make it to the trees first, maybe you can find a place to hide before they catch up.

There are more shouts, more footsteps. A shotgun fires just as you cross into the cover of the trees. There aren’t a lot of options, but you’re in better shape than you were 30 seconds ago. Fall leaves crunch underfoot. You can’t run forever. You’ll reach the end of the thicket soon enough.

A dog barks. Your brain barely comprehends it. Horses, dogs, what's next? House cats? Out in the open, they’re sure to catch you. There are more houses if you turn west. Maybe you can hide until dark. The footsteps are getting closer no matter how fast you run. Maybe you should just accept the odds are not in your favor. You’re hopelessly outnumbered and outpowered, but you won’t do that. You haven’t come this far to give up now.

A body collides with your back, knocking the wind from you before you tumble to the ground. You use the momentum to roll, hoping to shake the body, but his grip is too strong. You refuse to hold still, finding his thumb and pulling it back. He cries out in pain. Your nails dig into his cheek, leaving a nasty trail of scratches down his face. It’s enough to push out of his hold.

You slip on the leaves as you attempt to get up. He grabs your ankle with his unharmed hand, pulling you back down. You manage just enough coordination to land a kick to his groin and a solid punch to his right eye. Your knuckles ache immediately, but it works until two sets of hands clamp down on your arms. You try to pull away, but they push you to your knees.

Another person helps your attacker to his feet. You catch a flash of red on his cheek, presumably from the scratches you left down his cheek. It’s little comfort when the barrel of a rifle lands at your back.

This is it. This is where you die.

“You okay, Gabe?” A woman’s calls.

“Been better.” He’s panting. Good. “Think the thumb’s broken, but I’ll be fine.”

Boots crunch on the leaves, drawing closer until the toes of them stand at the edge of your vision. Silence falls, your own quiet panting the only thing you can hear. You wonder if you look as wild as you feel. Maybe they’ll just shoot you now, give you no chance to plead or bargain. That would be more humane.

“What are you doing here?” The woman asks.

You still haven’t looked up, haven’t looked at her face. Survival says you should. Maybe they’ll be less cruel if you look into their eyes. You don’t respond.

“We got her backpack.” A random voice calls. You don’t remember dropping it, but the last couple of minutes are a blur. He comes up beside the woman. She digs through your newly acquired possessions.

“Not much here,” She says. “Your group must be nearby. How many are there?”

Dry laughter forces its way out of you. You suppose you could lie. Maybe they’d spare you, but they’d find out soon enough. There’s no need to draw this out.

“You think this is funny?”

“There is no one else.” You roll your head up, looking her in the eye for the first time.

She straightens, leaning back just a little as she contemplates your words. She’s not what you’re expecting. She wears a stern expression, but her eyes seem almost kind, like an old friend with a cup of warm tea. “I’m just supposed to believe that?”

“Why would I lie about that? I’m dead anyway.”

“Are you?”

“I’m the one with a rifle at my back right now.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Precautions.”

“What do you want from me?”

“The truth.”

“It is the truth. I’m the last one left.” The woman seems to believe you this time, an air of surprise passing through her eyes.

She looks at the men keeping you contained. “Let her go.”

“Maria,” One raises a sound of protest, but she cuts him off with a single glare.

The rifle lowers. The grip on both your arms disappears as you scurry to your feet. The woman looks between you and your bag before handing it back. “There a lot of traffic through these parts?”

“I think the stores speak for themselves,” You say. She tilts her head to the side. You won’t lie, it is effective. “I haven’t seen another human being in 2 years, but I don’t stay here.”

“Infected?”

“Had a small pod come through a couple years ago. Haven’t seen anything but strays of late.”

She seems content with your answer.

“Am I free to go?” You sling your pack over your shoulder.

“You’re gonna need more than just that to survive.”

“What makes you think I don’t have what I need.”

Once again, she cuts through your bullshit. Is this woman a mind reader or something? Or maybe it’s been the lack of human contact. No, this woman has the stare mothers develop to pry the truth from their children. It’s just as effective on adults.

“We’re gonna stay here, at least for a while. You’re welcome to join us.”

The offer catches you off guard. You’re not sure what to think. If they wanted to kill you, they would have already, unless they’re really that sick and twisted. You look around at the other faces around you. Four men including the one you hit. There’s already swelling around his eye, the scratches are bright red with drying blood. Two women, but you know there’s more. You can hear them now, clearing the buildings through Jackson.

“And if I say no, Maria?” You square up with their leader, a faint smirk graces your face. There’s a certain power in knowing her name when she doesn’t know yours.

“Then I’ll have Gabe escort you back with plenty of provisions to get you through the winter.” She points to the man who caught you.

“You’re gonna send the man with a broken thumb and bad eye? Must not like him very much.”

“Kinda been getting on my nerves lately,” Maria cracks a grin, but you don’t return it.

Gabe scoffs. “I’m the comedic relief. Can’t kill me off.”

Your face stays flat, unimpressed. “I don’t need an escort, and he clearly isn’t in any shape to be going anywhere.”

“I said you could go. I never said I trusted you.”

“I can fix him up before I go.” You nod to the man. “I used to be a trauma nurse.”

Maria tilts her head to the side. “Good. He’ll be in better condition when he takes you home tomorrow.”

You don’t know why, but the word home makes you cringe. You don’t have one of those anymore.

You set up outside of the old clinic after scouring for supplies to clean the scratches and a splint. It seems like FEDRA cleaned out a lot of the medical supplies when they evacuated, but you manage.

Gabe watches you carefully, still wearing a smile. “I don’t see how you can sit there grinning with that black eye.”

“Badge of honor.” He says, eyes glued to you. “Do you ever smile?”

“No.” You say, taking a hold of his hand. Gabe starts to ramble on about something you tune out as you focus on the anatomy of his hand. There’s something about using your old trade that sets a thrill through you, only briefly. Without warning, you snap it back into place. He screams out in pain. You look up at him, a brief smirk playing on your face. “Lucky for you, it’s not actually broken.”

“You’re better than I thought, Doc.”

“Nurse,” You say, splinting his thumb. “You should wear this for the next 4 weeks. Longer if there’s still pain.”

“Or you could stay and oversee his recovery,” Maria says, walking up. “We could use someone with your skills.”

You finish wrapping the splint before turning to face her. “I’m good. He’ll be fine.”

“It would be nice to have you around-”

“I said no.”

She sighs, crossing her arms. “Okay, but it’s an open offer if you change your mind.”

“I won’t.”

Maria shifts, sliding her hands into her pockets. “House around the corner at the end of the street. We cleared it. It’s dusty, probably rat-infested, but in decent shape. You can stay there tonight.”

You nod. “Thanks.”

You sit on the porch steps of an abandoned house. A faded red X paints the door behind you and an orange campfire flickers in your eyes. There are about 30 of them in total. A majority of them circle around the fire about 50 feet away. You catch the hums of multiple conversations, but no substance. A few children run around, catching fireflies, but it's the laughter that strikes that deep sense of want within you. Your chest aches with the grief of what you’ve lost since the outbreak, forced into survival mode. When was the last time you laughed? Or smiled? There’s been no occasion to. There’s been no desire to.

Tears blur the edges of your vision. Memories flash before your eyes of the good times, your brothers, your parents, grandparents, friends, that last summer with Sarah. Your heart clenches. You have no idea what happened to them. You can only assume they’re gone. Hoping doesn’t do you any good, and the odds have never been in your favor.

“You could come join us, you know,” Gabe says, walking up to you. He stands at the bottom of the stairs, a smile plastered on his swollen face.

You quickly wipe the excess moisture from your eyes. “I’m fine.” It’s emotionless, passive.

“You gonna sulk all night? I’m the one with a busted face.”

“I’m sorry some of us don’t feel like celebrating.” You roll your eyes, wiping your nose on your sleeve as you look back at the door to the house you’ll be spending the night in. Can’t you just be left alone? You have to spend the whole day with him tomorrow.

“You’re like one of the Eight Dwarfs,” he says.

“Pretty sure there were seven.” You bristle, standing up.

“Doleful, the eighth dwarf that never was. That’s you.”

“Doleful, really?” You say, rolling your eyes. Your annoyance with him is growing exponentially. What is his deal?

“Yeah, I haven’t seen you so much as crack a smile. Always so serious.” He furrows his brow in an almost mocking manner as he steps into your space, wearing the same goofy grin. You want to slap it off his face.

“Do you always talk to women this way?” There must be smoke pouring from your ears at this point.

“Only ones who give me black eyes.”

“You were the one chasing me!”

“You were running. Maybe I just wanted to say hi.” He’s goading you, and the annoying part is he’s succeeding.

“You’re insufferable.”

“Then walk away, Doleful.”

That’s when it hits you. How close he’s standing. His eyes flutter over your face. You can feel the warmth of him seeping into you. How long has it been since you touched another human being? Today's events notwithstanding. It’s been even longer since you had someone look at you like that.

You swallow, letting yourself dwell in the feeling for just a second before setting your jaw and turning away. You catch the sound of him letting out a breath, the same one you were holding. Your hand hovers over the door knob. “Make sure you keep your hand elevated tonight.”

“Yeah… will do.”

You step inside before he can say anything more.

You’re flush against him on a horse the next day. He insists he’s fine to take the reins despite his broken thumb. Maria also insists, muttering something about not trusting you. Experience tells you you shouldn’t let them know where you live, but your gut trusts them not to harm you.

Gabe tries to joke and make conversation. You give him nothing but grunts and one-word responses. You stop about 30 minutes from your destination to eat lunch and let the horse rest. Your legs feel numb, not used to riding.

“You gonna ignore me the whole time, Doleful?”

“Talk to the horse.”

“He’d be better conversation.”

“What is your deal?” you ask, finally fed up.

“I’m just trying to lighten the mood.”

“What mood? There’s no mood to lighten!” You finally lose it. You haven’t had to deal with the yapping of another person for years and your tolerance is at an all-time low. Carter would be disappointed at how fast this man has gotten under your skin.

He tilts his head to the side, looking at you like he’s actually thinking. That would be a first. “People still need to experience joy and laughter.”

The laugh that leaves you is free of humor. It comes out under your breath, meaner than you intend, and he hears it. “You obviously didn’t have to lose anyone.”

He straightens immediately, face darkening. “No, I just chose to not let it consume me.”

He moves over to the horse, securing the saddlebags with more force than necessary. The tension and anger ripple off of him in droves. You bite your lip, guilt instantly falling over you.

“Gabe, I-“

He holds up a hand, cutting you off. “I think it’s best if we don’t talk the rest of the way.”

You supply a nod, but the guilt eats at you the closer you get. From what you can catch of Gabe’s profile, it’s set firmly in stone. You haven’t seen him without a smile yet. It hasn’t been long, but it doesn’t feel right. It feels like you swallowed someone’s joy, put out their light with your darkness.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper. His head twitches back just slightly, letting you know he heard. “That was cruel. Of course, you’ve lost people. You don’t make it this long without it.”

You feel him tense underneath your palms, but then he inhales deeply and relaxes. “My wife and two girls on outbreak day.”

You suck in deeply. “I’m an asshole.”

“I mean… yes.” A faint smile returns to his face and light to his eyes, and maybe, just maybe, your lips tug upward a little bit. “I know it’s a little much for some people. They don’t get it.”

You relax a little. “Try a lot.”

“If I came off as too strong, I’m sorry.”

You bite your lip. “It’s okay. I guess I’m a little rusty dealing with people.”

He waits for a second, letting the silence invade. You hear a woodpecker in the distance and the crunch of leaves underfoot. A squirrel scurries across your path, presumably preparing for the harsh winter ahead.

“How long have you been alone?”

“My brother died almost two years ago. We were the only ones left.”

Gabe nods in acknowledgment. He keeps the silence for the rest of your ride.

By the time the gate fades into view, you can tell Gabe is mostly back to his usual self, not quite as smiley or annoying, but close. Either that or you’re actually growing to like it- him.

He helps you bring the food inside. You catch the ways his eyes roam your space without being too invasive. “It’s a big place for one person.”

“It’s got a gate.”

“So does Jackson.”

You look at him. He raises an eyebrow. “Part of Jackson.”

“Has more people too.”

“And what makes you think I want to be around people?”

“This isn’t living, Doleful.”

For the first time, you don’t mind the nickname. It hints at a familiarity you don’t have, but you’re starting to wonder if you want it.

You cross your arms, leaning back against the kitchen counter. “And smiling means you are?”

He cocks his head to the side. “Attempting to.”

“So what? I’m just supposed to go back to Jackson with you? Join the group and wander?”

“I think our wandering days are over.”

“Oh?”

“Maria thinks we can settle in Jackson. You said it yourself, just a few stragglers..”

“I only know from up here, not down there.”

“Stores are hardly touched.”

You know he’s right. “Why do you want me to join so badly?”

“Well for starters, you fixed me up pretty good.” He holds up his braced hand. “Could be pretty useful to have around.”

“So I’m just useful.”

“I don’t think you want to be alone,” he says. You inhale softly. “And I would really like the chance to make you smile.”

You look away, emotions you long pushed down threatening to spring back up.

“I figure I have two hours before I need to head back. I’ll wait outside.”

Gabe leaves you in the kitchen. You walk through the house, contemplating his words. The offer he and Maria both made you. Do you leave this place? A safe haven of sorts. You stop in the great room, Carter’s blood stain brown and dried on the light carpet. You’ve tried so hard to pull it out, but everything seemed to make it worse.

Sun streams through the big, picture window. You walk over, soaking it in. A small moment of peace in a tumultuous world. Something in your heart tugs, something else releases.

Gabe sits out on the deck, staring at a creased, faded picture when you settle next to him. The breeze picks up, playing with the color of his shirt. “Is that them?”

Gabe nods.

“My brother bled out in there.” You point behind you. “I’m thinking a fresh start might not be so bad.”

Gabe smiles at you. “Is that so?”

You nod. “I don’t need long to put a bag together.”

“I’m glad you changed your mind. My face isn’t so sure though.”

You’re not sure what it is, but laughter breaks out of you, a smile cresting your lips. Gabe chuckles alongside you as your crow's feet crinkle.

“I knew it.”

“What?”

“That you would have the prettiest smile in the world.”

[sepublic]

Writers’ Post-Hoot!

            As the title suggests, we just had a Post-Hoot with multiple writers from the show! Those present included John Bailey Owen, Cissy Jones (Lilith), Sarah Nicole-Robles (Luz), Rebecca Bozza (ItsRebeccaRose), Mikki Crisostomo, Madeleine Hernandez, Zarch Marcus, Avi Roque (Raine), with Zelda Black as our cameraman! I took notes, including on some cancelled storylines involving characters such as Vee, Odalia, Edric, Eda, and Hooty!

         Firstly, Zach Marcus has been writing on the show since the developmental pilot. It was confirmed Barcus was not based on him (unlike Jerbo for JBO), but he did say Barcus was ‘his’ character. I believe it was confirmed that Kikimora’s alias Miki was a reference to writer Mikki Crisostomo, and we also learned that The First Day had to be rewritten within a day! Mikki revealed she got hired for the show because she wrote a violent sample script in which someone had their rib cage kicked out, which convinced Dana she had to be on TOH!

         The development pilot is very different from the show according to Zach; It had the classic blood smear moment (in which Luz draws herself and Amity together, gets a paper cut, and uses her blood to simulate a blush as improv), and alas will never be released. JBO also said there are three poems in the show that the fandom hasn’t found yet…?!

         Dana was watching and commented a few times, such as when Avi, Cissy, and Sarah were doing the classic “Then why were you so easy to curse?!” line, commenting “Legendary Cissy line”.

         In regards to cut Season 3 storylines, Zach mentioned that there are so many versions of Thanks to Them that they went through (Dana gave a comment giving approval for them to speak on concepts). He revealed there was a version where the kids would’ve piloted Abomaton mechs in the desert…?!

         (I wonder if this is related to Kikimora, who pilots an Abomaton herself and comes from the desert of Palm Stings. Would Amity have helped in the creation?)

         Mikki also revealed Hooty was a Big Bad at one point in the writing process?! He’d have had as many legs as rib bones, poking through, as well as smoke.

         Huntlow was acknowledged as a major goal by Mikki and Madeleine (who kept asking why can’t they be happy???), and Zach joked that Huntlow wasn’t canon but c’mon. We can thank Mikki for writing the haircut that Willow gave Hunter!!!

         Dana was glad to keep the Star Trek reference, since so many crew members are Trekkies. Emmy also alluded to a ‘bog setting’ where the kids fought ‘bog bodies’… Unfortunately, her internet connection wasn’t so great so she cut out a bit and I couldn’t make out everything. But does this mean Belos would’ve reanimated corpses in the graveyard for the kids to fight?! Or the Grimwalkers?!

         JBO liked doing Luz in the human realm, as it was a different vibe than usual; More melancholy but also creepy. He wanted to explore the idea of what if a kid DID go to Narnia, and how that would affect them afterwards, and he’s happy with how it turned out… Same JBO, same.

         Emmy revealed there was also going to be a storyline where Vee was uncomfortable with having Hunter in the house!!!

         Sarah mentioned a question in the chat about the other coven heads, which could’ve been my question actually… JBO says that there was a lot they wanted to do with them, he really likes Hettie in particular. He considered exploring what Darius did to achieve his Abomination transform, speculating it’d probably take a dark sacrifice to do that. In general they wanted to see the coven heads plot with and try to kill each other; Lots of intercoven drama according to Zach.

         Zach also praised those who designed the coven heads; He lamented how designers often visualize concepts submitted by writers as so much cooler than the writers think they can do justice when writing, once they receive them back.

         Zach Marcus was described as the pun man of the writers, and when asked about what Darius’ Penstagram, they all agreed upon Goo Daddy. He was torn between Darius being a luddite, or nonstop posting what he eats, with a reflection of him in something. The writers discussed stuff like a Darius skincare routine, and him getting up every morning like a Disney Princess with animals, except they’re Abominations (fanartists were encouraged to depict this).

         JBO said he would’ve liked to see more of young Terra, Zach wanted to see more of her and Faust! As a reminder, a previous Post-Hoot had him put forth the idea that they were exes until they messily broke up and Terra tore off Faust’s lips and kicked him out, hence him living at Hexside and being so strict as a means of regaining a sense of control in his life.

         Zach also joked about everyone dying in the original Season 3 plans, but they allegedly changed it to a happy ending because the pandemic meant people needed something uplifting! They were barely in the exploration for S3 when they received news of the shortening.

         They joked about Barcus episodes, and also made a point about limitations actually being pretty good for writing, as it encourages writers to cut out the fat and leave the most essential bits. They said it was fun seeing Dana write on spite, and she thinks about a lot of the stuff they do for the story as the mastermind.

         Zach revealed him and Dana disagree on Mattholomule’s name, with Zach insisting it’s Mattholomule; His only compromise is saying his last name is also Tholomule… So Mattholomule Tholomule canon??? Zach also wanted a character named Corvus.

         Eda was a ‘horn dog’ in OG scripts for TOH, breaking hearts and all that. There was an episode with a B-plot in which Eda went on a date with playboy merchant, just so she could get a deal on crow heads, but Disney didn’t want a ‘horny old lady’. Dana commented that it was jut Eda on a date, but Disney was being weird about it.

         The writers also mentioned that they considered ‘Mom Tholomule’ and ‘Dad Tholomule’ in what they called the racing episode (I presume Eda’s Requiem’s B-plot), and they planned Steve and Mattholomule being brothers from S1! Zach joked that if the Tholomule parents showed up, they’d have taken attention from everything, with fans losing interest for Lumity, Raeda, and Huntlow in favor of them.

         They brought up their weirdest failed episodes, such as a race (which might be what they meant regarding the Tholomule parents) as well as an episode where Eda and Odalia had beef. It’d have been based on the Rats! musical poster –the one that gave Raine stage fright- and would’ve had musical elements, but alas Dana doesn’t like musicals herself due to her own experiences with them (which might be the Doylist source for Raine’s own trauma as well now that I think of it).

         Odalia would’ve been one of those obsessive parents, entering an Abomination disguised as a child for the role. Edric would’ve been angry and formed a rivalry with this fake child, wanting to be Momma’s Boy, and it’d end with the fake child getting decapitated and their head sliding off as the big reveal.

         When asked about doing ‘Blaine’ (Belos-possessed Raine), Avi explained they didn’t need to watch Rhys to copy Belos’ inflections, having watched the show plenty. They were surprised about the Blaine development when they went in to voice Raine that day and were told about it!

         When asked about favorite characters to write, Zach said he loved Eda because he didn’t need to go into anyone’s headspace when writing her, it was basically just him talking. Madeleine brought up how Matthew Rhys would charm the entire zoom call with his recording, and Emmy mentioned how twice she wrote for a bloodcurdling scream only for a VA to give more of an Ahhhhh.

         Specifically, Edric would’ve had a more bloodcurdling scream when he broke through his body cast to hug Amity (Zach wrote that, Emmy did the art for it), with everyone agreeing he should be in pain. A ‘piercing scream’ was specified, though Sarah joked about how hard VAs worked, and said a bloodcurdling scream might be done for an Oscar nomination (doing such a scream is taxing due to multiple takes).

         Mikki loves writing Lilith, calling her a big dweeb; Madeline loves Hooty the most, as he’s a wild card and she loves writing those. One example she brought up was in Hollow Mind, when Hooty shut down the Owl House. Madeleine loves it when Hooty goes from zero to sixty in either direction, fully insane.

         JBO also liked Hooty best, as well as King! They referenced the B-plot from Adventures in the Elements, in which Hooty negotiates a drawn body for himself from King, which Emmy and JBO wrote. The actual sketch used in the episode was straight-up one of their drawings, I didn’t catch whose though. Hooty’s dialogue in Eda’s conversation with him (from Something Ventured, Someone Framed) was also written by JBO, with Emmy drawing the bit where his tongue reaches for a fly!

        In regards to writing advice, JBO said to just do stuff, it’s better than nothing; Emmy concurred, it’s still worth it to write it, even if nobody pays you for it. Zach added that for writers, one of their goals is to be more of a tool; Get what they’ve made into the hands of someone who can take it further, it’s collaborative storytelling and writers need to see it from that perspective. Likewise, they mentioned having people read what you’ve written, as they can notice stuff that’s missing that you hadn’t thought of/remembered. Zach hoped for a TOH art book, as he liked a lot of Emmy Cicierga’s visual jokes and hoped people could enjoy them! IIRC Emmy did that one meme of Ariel combining her fish tail with two legs as a solution, so that tracks.

         On a final note, there was a HUGE wave of people commenting about Gustholomule throughout the entire stream. It went unacknowledged alas, but the group also mentioned they couldn’t answer spoiler questions so...

[eschergirls]

February 2024 Update & Patron Thank You!

Hi everybody!

It's a new month, so it's time for an update and, of course, thank all our wonderful Patreon subscribers. :3  

For I fixed up a LOT of posts across the DC Comics tag, though because it's so big, I still have a lot that aren't formatted correctly or have images without alt-text, but I'm slowly working my way through it.  Many of the broken or lost images or images deleted by Tumblr due to mistaken algorithmic flagging should be fixed though.

One of the big restoration projects was fixing up the posts that stemmed from that infamous Catwoman vol. 4 #0 cover image that led to a ton of redraws and also to DC actually changing the cover before it came out.  A lot of the redraws didn't get imported when we moved the site from Tumblr, but I've managed to find them again and restore the posts (as well as adding alt-text and fixing formatting, etc).

Here's a list of the redraws, some serious, some humorous:

Catwoman as an assemblage boobs and butt by Josh Rodgers

Catwoman in a true cat pose by @rosalarian

What Catwoman would look like from the side by Cameron Stewart

Catwoman before and after animated gif redraw by @miracleisyou

As well as that post, I've also restored this post featuring Pagan from Batman #479 looking terrifying in two different poses, and a pretty good redraw of the cover by Glitchy.

There's also another Catwoman picture (from Batman: Arkham Unhinged) inspired people to do a lot of humorous takes on it, such as Kainu's take on how she looks from various angles and this animated gif joke by le-mec which is very good.  I fixed up all 3 posts, found the broken pictures, and added alt-text to everything.

And finally, two other DC posts that I found images for when they broke and reformatted & added full transcription for screen readers:

this page of Artemis from Artemis: Requiem #3 offering some... interesting ideas of gender & what Y chromosomes do

this post about All-Star Batman & Robin & it's depiction of Vicki Vale as well as the infamous script notes from Frank Miller to Jim Lee (the script notes are fully transcribed by me for screen readers too)

I've restored a lot of other posts too, but those are the main ones I wanted to highlight for those who haven't seen them before (or weren't able to see them before) and would be interested in!

And as usual, I've been working my way through the Tumblr inbox backlog (which means that like very old submissions might start to show up too... I developed a huge backlog over the years and because Tumblr's inbox works from most recent to least, it means that older stuff becomes more difficult to reach as I get more submissions).  I've also been working my way through contesting all the mistaken flagging Tumblr's algorithm keeps doing (such as flagging any solid colour piece of clothing as nudity).

For those who want to follow us without using Tumblr, we have an RSS feed. (For newbies, RSS stands for Really Simple Syndication and is basically a feed you can read using an RSS reader. Simply copy and paste https://eschergirls.com/rss.xml into an RSS reader and it will keep you up to date on Escher Girls!)

Tumblr's occasional changes of policies and its random algorithmic flagging of posts and sudden removal of posts are reasons why I decided to self-host and why I am so appreciative of people helping me to keep the site up and pay for hosting, domain registration, and general site upkeep and improvements. :)   

Anyway, now I want to thank everybody who supported Escher Girls on Patreon in January!

Thank you so so much to:

Cat Mara CheerfulOptimistic Chris McKenzie Em Bardon First Time Trek Greg Sepelak Ian Cameron Ken Trosaurus Kevin Carson Kim Wincen Kristoffer Illern Holmén Leak Manuel Dalton Mary Kuhner Max Schwarz Michael Mazur Miriam Pody Morgan McEvoy randomisedmongoose Rebecca Breu Ringoko Ryan Gerber Sam Mikes Sean Sea SpecialRandomCast Thomas

And thank you to everybody for reading, submitting, and just generally commenting and engaging with Escher Girls.  It makes running the site so worth it, and your comments always make me smile. 

Thank you all so much,

Ami

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[thegeminisage]

star trek: the motion picture rewrite

star trek the motion picture was bad so i'm fixing it. here's how

problem #1: everybody got interesting setups and nobody got any payoffs.

problem #2: ilia and decker were just not that interesting (sorry ilia and decker) and they either needed to be more interesting or have less screen time or both.

problem #3: it took more than half the film for the enterprise to even leave earth. this seems like poor pacing, which the overall film also suffers from.

problem #4: those damn 20-minute cgi scenery sequences. enough is enough.

sorry in advance but this post won't make much sense if you haven't seen the first star trek movie, "star trek: the motion picture." i don't have the time or patience to re-explain the entire plot! the novelization also ties into this but i do explain some of that.

MAIN PLOT

it wasn't a GREAT plot but i'm keeping it mostly the same, except a few changes:

the enterprise leaves much earlier in the film. all the interpersonal drama can happen ON THE WAY to v'ger and it would make very little difference to the main script and series of events, but the reminds that they're only x hours away from interception would help keep things tense and moving along. also, it would get spock in here earlier. we went a LONG time without seeing him.

the engines can still fail at the outset and get fixed by spock, but it's kind of weird that he shows up out of nowhere. i would change this to kirk leaving him messages - and spock finally answering at the exact right moment (more on this in spock's section)

less of those long cgi sequences, obviously. the enterprise deserves all the fanfare in the world but we do have other stuff to do. maybe we can learn a little about v'ger through the ilia-probe in bits and pieces before we get there rather than learning all at once at the end - the book sort of did that and it was better. but i think we just need to cut them to allow time for a LITTLE more interpersonal drama - the balance of interpersonal stuff to plot stuff was WAY off, even after you consider how the tos episodes are somtimes

i don't think decker should fuck the probe.

the book and movie seem to disagree on whether the ilia-probe really "is" ilia or a very convincing copy. i think we would do better to leave it open, as scifi so often is, because both answers feel slightly wrong to me

kirk just taking the ship at the end and going "ok thattaway" was heartwarming but lacks any semblance of logic. rather than beaming down to debrief, though - in case they don't let him go back up - i'd like to see him doing a power move where the required personnel for his debrief come to HIM. and THEN when the dust clears he can go "thattaway"

CHARACTER ARC: KIRK

there's a lot more on this in the book than the movie, but kirk begins this story three years post his five year journey. in the movie he's framed as "washed up" but the book sometimes implies he's "damaged." starfleet offered him the promotion to admiral to keep him out of space because his was the first ship to come back relatively intact after a five-year and they're using him as a poster boy for their pro-space propaganda. (kirk wholly disagrees with "intact"; he lost a total of 94 crew members over those five years and objects strongly to his new legendary fame.) it's worth noting that bones begged him NOT to take the promotion and he and some other officers actually RESIGNED over it.

also, for the first year back on earth, starfleet totally just SENT HIM A WOMAN? to like keep him distracted and "happy." he got honeypotted into not going back out into space. how many planets have tried to trap people by making them happy? how many times has kirk refused to stay in such a place because it leaves him nothing to strive for? and then, irony of horrific ironies, he was trapped on earth. he doesn't realize this woman was basically sent to pacify him until the very beginning of the film/book. anyway, this woman's name is lori, she's gonna matter just a little bit later. after she left, kirk got pushed into a desk job he was utterly fucking miserable in. he notes that it was the only time he ever ignored bones's advice and he suffered greatly for it.

when the "intruder" (v'ger, obvs) is revealed to be approaching earth (via brain implants? stupid, let's just switch to everyone seeing it on TV), kirk, for totally normal reasons, jumps at the chance to take the enterprise away from decker ostensibly because he's got more experience but also because (the book gets into this) he feels like he's been jerked around on a string for the last three years by the admirals (specifically he names nogura to give us a face but they were all in on it) and also that he's totally dead inside. he has to guilt trip bordering on BLACKMAIL nogura into letting him back aboard (ie bringing up the fact that he placated kirk with a woman and sweet promises instead of like...actually caring about his PTSD). we're keeping that part because it's sexy and fun.

the question the movie seems to be asking is, "is jim kirk too old and feeble to captain the enterprise again?" i would like to posit instead we go with "is jim kirk too DAMAGED to captain the enterprise again?" they really put him through the wringer in season 3 in particular and that total nervous breakdown from the romulan espionage episode was supposed to have been REAL before they changed it, so i'm sticking it in that three year timeskip instead. in the book, jim fucks up several times - can't figure out his seatbelt, gets lost, and notably fails to be able to save his former honeypot lori and his new vulcan first officer (off-brand spock) during a transport malfunction - they get rearranged horrifically and then die right in front of him. rather than frame this as jim being old and out of practice i'd like to frame it around the totally untreated PTSD of space and his five-year finally catching up to him.

the book ALSO gets into how jim feels more at home in space, how being away from it gives him physical symptoms almost like withdrawal, and how he felt he has been brought back from the dead and out of a miserable, meaningless life when stepping aboard for the first time. IMPORTANT FOR LATER.

at the same time though i think we might greatly benefit from mixed feelings - perhaps JIM HIMSELF has wondered if he was too damaged to get back out there - if, after everything, part of him wasn't a little hesitant to go back out into the unknown and risk putting himself through the kind of hell he got put through in some of those later tos episodes. maybe he wanted the captaincy to prove it to himself, yes, but also it was something he was determined to do (even though part of him was a little worried about doing it) because he thought he was the only one that COULD. there's a hidden element in this film of facing one's fears to benefit emotionally, so it would be important to squeeze something like this in, even if it's only in hints or light implications.

the ultimate answer to jim's question of course is that he ISN'T too damaged to be back out in space, especially not if spock and bones and the others are out there with him. but to get into that we have to move to...

CHARACTER ARC: DECKER AND ILIA

i'm putting these 2 together because (sorry) i don't care very much. side characters in trek are always supposed to just highlight the main characters anyway, right? again, i'm so sorry. anyway so. in the movie and especially the book, ilia is pretty constantly sexualized - deltan females and their pheromones or whatever - and she has very little personality. decker is mostly just mad (justifiably) that kirk stole his job after 18 months of prep and sad that ilia got zapped, but we feel neither of these things very strongly. the movie doesn't even MENTION decker's father killing himself in space* which is a huge waste of potential when you consider the name of the game re: kirk's arc, at least in the book, is PTSD.

*matt decker, will decker's father, is the captain from doomsday machine (consider this a spoiler warning): when a giant machine showed up and engaged in battle with his ship, the constellation, he evacuated his crew to a nearby planet and stayed behind, planning to go down with the ship. unfortunately the machine was a planet-eater, and ate the planet his crew was on, so his crew all died while he listened to them beg him for help, and he later tried to suicide bomb the machine with the enterprise and then later one of its shuttles, which tragically ended in his mostly-pointless death. kirk did at least use the idea to suicide bomb the machine with the damaged constellation and have himself beamed out just in time though, and he had the record made that matt decker died in the line of duty, omitting some of his shadier actions so as not to stain his memory or whatever.

ANYWAY, i think the only way to make decker and ilia interesting is to foil them with kirk and spock. decker is who kirk was before his five-year: smart, capable, ready to take on anything and chomping at the bit to get out there and bite off as much as he can chew and then some. also, he's emotionally distant from women because of his status as captain/his need to not be tied down so he can explore space.

ILIA on the other hand is more like spock - she has limited telepathic abilities, she is othered and sometimes sexualized by the people around her because of her VULCAN BIOLOGY sorry because of her race, and she has a passion for learning and pursuits of intellect. and also a semi-formal telepathic link with decker - they had met before, and were preparing to bond (the way a vulcan might), and then decker more or less got cold feet and left her at the altar because his own passion for being in space left him unable to commit. but she WENT AFTER HIM (important for later) and wound up as the enterprise navigator.

for decker, instead of showing kirk up once near the beginning, apologizing, and gradually learning to get along with him, i think i'd like him to be showing kirk up a lot - being subtly snide when kirk can't work his seatbelt, for example. this film has no real antagonist aside from an incomprehensible alien entity, but we could bring a little humanity to it by having decker justifiably resent not only being confronted with ilia again but also having his captaincy snatched away from him after EIGHTEEN. MONTHS. of prep. that's some serious bullshit.

but, while decker IS younger and more familiar with the enterprise's redesign, while he's had more recent space hours and suffers from none of kirk's PTSD, what he lacks is experience - this was the whole basis of kirk taking the fucking ship to begin with, and the movie as it is kind of totally invalidates that plot point. to that end, near the end of the film when they're in v'ger, i would make a bigger deal out of kirk knowing better than to perform the scan - because that's what got the klingons killed (when v'ger interpreted their scan as hostile). decker, shaken, realizes his own hasty decision would have resulted in all of them dying horrifically, and rather than kirk grudgingly respecting decker first, we get it the other way around - decker grudgingly respecting kirk, and kirk returning that respect after decker stops being an asshole. this does the job of helping the AUDIENCE respect kirk after spending so much time wondering if he was indeed too washed up and damaged to do the job, and it helps to begin to warm us up to decker too.

also, it would be fun to have decker overhear bones arguing with kirk or spock or even talking to chapel or something, to know that kirk was thought too washed up EVEN BY THE ADMIRALS (who decker does respect bc he doesn't know better yet), and then for decker to realize later kirk got jerked around - and maybe realize, once he begins to see kirk as a person instead of an obstacle, that something like that might be in his own future even if he succeeds in almost every possible way, as kirk had. we might even use this to get into decker's dad basically killing himself after losing his crew - it can go other ways than right for captains. it can also go so, so, so wrong. (this would require some exposition, though, since we can't expect everyone to have both seen the episode and remember the details.)

another moment that wasn't used to its full potential is when decker basically has to honeypot the ilia probe - this is extremely difficult on him emotionally, and kirk knows all about the perils of emotionally difficult honeypot missions (sorry that i'm linking to this twice). i think decker realizing kirk has done this same kind of thing like a zillion times and that's part of what led to his breakdown gives him respect not just for KIRK but for the position of captain itself - he would have no choice but to do this to protect 500 lives, if it were him. you don't get to tap out when you're captain. and this is good for kirk too, because in sympathizing with decker (and the horrific situation of having to honeypot the image of his dead lover) he can learn to sympathize with himself, and forgive himself for being at less than his best during his own worst moments - some of them during the five-year, some of them after, when he felt weak and without purpose. it also gives him the job of connecting the audience to decker - through him, through thinking of decker as a younger version of him, we can forgive decker for being an asshole earlier and sympathize with his pain. and he becomes someone we root for.

as for ilia - i think she should have gotten to yell at decker rather than passively act like he wasn't even there and hide her pain. her pain at being left behind and betrayed and having to find her own way could mirror spock's (more on this in a sec) but it could also mirror v'ger and its abandonment issues, even though she was abandoned by a boyfriend and not god. there's only so much you can do with truly misogynistic writing but she could've been likable!! her sitch and spock's are the same and she gets to complain while he refuses! even one iota of a personality would have helped so much.

ALSO, on that point, at least one conversation between her and spock would have done a lot to make her more interesting too, because then she would be adjacent to him. spock, too, left his home planet to chase after a space captain he was in um a relationship with, and that bit of kinship ("your answers are not here") could lead to a bonding moment - i think spock would respect what she's doing and that would lend her a lot of credit in the eyes of the audience. much like v'ger, much like spock, ilia has left her home to find out who she is, and part of that answer lies within emotion, within the people she loves: in this case, decker. i would also, if we HAVE to fridge her (DO WE?? more on this in the ending section), choose to have her take a blow meant for decker - her last act being one of love, because the film IS ultimately about love's importance, even in spite of all the pain it also causes (see: decker in his grief).

which leads us to...

CHARACTER ARC: BONES

we have to have a brief interlude here for bones. unfortunately, bones in this movie is little more than an extremely loveable afterthought. while fixing his ENTIRE deal is out of the scope of this tumblr post, what i WOULD do is give him more screentime by having both his AND spock's lives upended by the same event: kirk, the Main Character(tm), choosing to take the admiral stripes and "abandon" them.

i think theres enough evidence in tos to argue the case that bones places a lot of importance on jim and spock's lives - he claims to hate space, but he never resigns, and he finds meaning in taking care of them, even if (to my own interpretation), he can sometimes feel like a third wheel to their legendary "friendship" (so legendary that it's historically important both in-universe and in real life). when kirk agrees to "retire" and let starfleet make him their poster boy because he has PTSD and burnout, bones CANONICALLY objects to what starfleet is trying to do to him so strongly that he literally resigns. again, kirk notes in the book that "retiring" is the only time he ever ignored bones's advice and he came regret it deeply. so kirk needs bones back - in the book, he says outright he needs bones back because he, gaslit, cannot trust himself to be making solid calls emotionally, and he wants bones to call him out if he steps out of line.

for fun, i think bones should be a little more pissed about being "drafted" and like genuinely grumpy rather than fond and gruff - at least, until kirk apologizes. he tells bones all about being yanked around by the admirals and being honeypotted and how much he regretted not listening to his advice...and the gaslighting, not bones's medical expertise, is why kirk feels he needs bones now - why all of earth needs him, because this is a mission to save the entire planet. i think bones LOVES to be needed and especially by jim and/or spock, and he of course has a natural desire to caretake, so after the apology he could soften up to "gruff." he found meaning in what he was doing on earth, but he finds meaning in this too, and kirk telling him that of COURSE he can leave if he wants solidifies his decision to stay, even at the end of the film when the immediate threat has passed. put simply: he loves kirk and spock, and, like them, he wants the three of them to stay together, even though they previously broke his heart.

i think also that once spock comes aboard this gives bones a second job, which is to poke holes in spock's outward unemotional demeanor, which he genuinely is doing from a place of love (since it was bones who said the release of emotions is healthy). instead of standing around and being a lovable and nostalgic set piece, this would give him an actual purpose and an arc, even if his arc (healing spock via negging, healing jim via not gaslighting people) is holding up the other characters.

and speaking of spock...

CHARACTER ARC: SPOCK

post five-year, spock goes back to vulcan to undergo the kolinahr, a ritual meant to purge all remaining emotion from vulcans. he does this because he detests his human half and the many weaknesses and challenges it brings him etc etc but i also would like it if he does this because kirk retires - he has no logical, ready-made excuse to be around kirk and bones anymore, and just like kirk, he truly felt at home on the enterprise, where people valued him for his skill and what he could do rather than what he was (or wasn't). (this sentiment from spock is semi-canonical - it's in william shatner's tarsus iv novel, collision course.) kirk and bones are both an important part of his support system and it is crumbling without any way to save it - of COURSE he chooses not to feel emotion rather than face that pain. every human being ever has wished at some point or another they could numb themselves rather than hurt, and spock is half human, too. (that said, i would also not complain if kohlinahr was spock's way to escape the trauma of what the five-year did to HIM, making him feel emotions differently than what he believed was acceptable, changing him fundamentally as a person, and kirk only agreed to resign because space wasn't worth it without spock aka because he got dumped, but this is a minor detail.)

while on vulcan, kirk, equally adrift, sends him messages (this does admittedly make more sense if kirk only resigned because spock did) - but spock is potentially kind of mad at him (if kirk resigned first) and also trying not to feel anything, so he ignores those and goes out into the desert to get rid of all his gross icky feelings. when the masters read his mind and see that jim accidentally contacted him telepathically (which...girl WHAT was that all about did they bond fr during amok time) and that "his answer is not here," he reads or listens to all the messages at once (maybe including the deleted one spock prime had from aos...ouch), gets emotional (or resists, but it's a near thing), and realizes that if he can't purge kirk from his mind he has to at least find out why. the last message can be about the intruder (v'ger) and their fucked up engines, spock can feel reluctant concern and race to the rescue.

spock is initially very very cold to his old shipmates because he is trying to hold onto his logic and not allow the emotion back in his mind, but absolutely nobody is having this. like in the movie, kirk and bones drag him away to the lounge to interrogate him (he should admit to feeling kirk telepathically here just as he did in the book - i don't know that i'd go into the whole bond business in this movie because that's just writing fanfiction and is also a lot of exposition but i would never deny fanfic writers their fodder).

later, after talking with ilia, who did a brave thing (in spock's eyes, anyway, because he is terrified of what HE'S doing) by chasing down her man to give him an earful, spock is troubled, which prompts bones to start going IS THAT AN EMOTION I SEE MR SPOCK? (and make him more troubled). i think spock grieves ilia's death in his own way because of how much like him she is, or was. all of this culminates in his choice to attempt to mind-meld with v'ger, in the end - if he isn't a human and isn't a vulcan, WHAT is he? if he can't live with the emotion and he can't purge it, what is he supposed to do? if he dies in the mindmeld so be it, but at least he will have been useful - iirc, i think it was roddenberry or leonard nimoy who said that was always a primary motivation of his.

of course, AFTER the mindmeld, he does indeed realize that logic is pointless without emotion, and that he's been adrift not BECAUSE of his emotions but because of his refusal to deal with them and his refusal to feel. so spock, too, will decide to stay at the end of the film.

side bar on the scene where spock cries for v'ger: it's kind of dumb because v'ger is so unknowable. i think spock crying could be a bigger deal - maybe with happiness, as he holds jim's hand, or maybe when he thinks they're all gonna die (kirk says when he sees spock crying "it's not for us" but like what if it was though). i'd prefer him to cry after he finishes laughing post mindmeld of course but either instance could work.

and finally...

THE ENDING

i don't mind the ending in its plot - that v'ger really was just looking for its creator, as a child looks for its parent - but i really want the question of whether or not the probe IS ILIA to remain open. if you make an exact copy of a person that truly believes it is the original, is it? if it's indistinguishable from who ilia used to be even to itself, is it ilia? i like leaving this open because i DON'T like fridging her, but i also think it stretches believability to have this machine magically extract a consciousness and put it in a robot when we had a whole episode of s1 revolve around this exact same plot twist (is chapel's now-android fiance really still her fiance just because he thinks he is?)

it should be spock's idea to have a human join with v'ger - it was the joining with humans that ultimately led to HIS feeling emotions he was unable to ignore, which ultimately led to his understanding and acceptance of emotion and its value in general. spock would see the ilia probe as still being ilia, but in distress, as he was when he came aboard the enterprise, as v'ger is now. and he knows what fixed him (holding jim's hand lol sorry i mean accepting his emotions) and what would fix her.

and then of course decker does join with her - volunteers, insists even. i think he takes the chance on optimism and hope - something kirk lost along the way due to various traumas - but also because this film is about the importance of love, and he can't bear to live without his, even in facsimile. it's partially a sacrifice too though - decker's life and body as he knows it in exchange for the earth's safety - because that's what kirk would have done, what he HAS done. he did learn from kirk after all.

and kirk learns from him too - decker, who by now will know about the awful years the brass put kirk through prior to the start of the film, would tell kirk to give 'em hell, like it's something that can actually be done, because at his heart he's an optimist, and that's something kirk sorely needs emotionally at this low point in his life. a very gen-z-saving0the-millennials moment. (apologies to both gen z and millennials.)

so after the dust has settled, kirk, who has just saved earth, can basically ask for anything he wants, and what he wants is not to get sent out to pasture again. so that leads into him refusing to leave the ship and letting the admirals and everyone else who wants to debrief him come to HIM instead of him going down - he finally has back what he needed, which was simply control and agency over his own life, and his loved ones - since spock and bones decided to stay aboard. i would have liked some challenging action moment prior to the ending with the ilia-probe and decker included, a moment to highlight that kirk has still got it (kind of like his badass moment in the deadly years where he saves the ship in .2 seconds once they cure his dementia). but insisting that they see v'ger directly and not deal with its probe is okay too.

FINALLY, after we've established that kirk is In Control again and not just like, stealing a starship, we can do his scene where he begins a new five-year mission, and when directing sulu, says, "out there - thattaway."

THEMES

HOPEFULLY this ties together the various themes and foils in everybody's arc - the main ones being the importance of dealing with emotions, even painful ones, the importance of love, and the question "who am i?" - the theme of seeking answers

kirk wants to know who he is - is he still a starship captain who braved the unknown and returned alive? he tried to numb himself (or rather starfleet tried to numb him) after his five-year mission with a woman and a desk job and it didn't help - he had to risk getting back out there to do himself any good at all.

spock asks if he is a vulcan or a human, and seeks to answer the question by purging emotion, but must answer it by accepting the emotion instead - and he learns this from v'ger, who is asking the same question and cannot answer it without emotion anymore than spock could. spock is and always will be both vulcan AND human and no amount of resistance on his part can change that.

bones feels adrift without loved ones to take care of - who is HE if kirk won't even listen to his advice not to "retire" - and of course he is someone who takes care of others. which is a little sad because it's not a deeper arc, but it sort of rhymes with his whole deal in tos and there ARE five other movies. there's also a little bit in there about being willing to try again after your heart's been broken, which is also something kirk and spock are struggling with, to have the trio's arc rhyming with each other.

decker asking who he is - is he a real captain or a psycho case like his dad and kirk, is he someone who could have been ilia's husband - and ilia wondering if she is someone who could have been his wife, and later the PROBE wondering if it's truly ilia or not. MORE questions that have to be answered by overcoming fear of emotional pain - decker takes the chance and joins with her to answer both his own question, and the probe's - and, of course, v'ger's.

THIS CONCLUDES. my movie rewrite. i am so glad to have gotten it off my chest, which is the main reason i wrote it, but i don't think it's terribly popular...so if you actually read this whole thing you're a rock star. okay BYE!!!

[elephant-in-the-pride-parade]

Essay: Post-Holidays, I see my Uncle's "Strange New Girls" Hate Watch in a Whole New Light.

No that is not a typo, that is actually what he calls SNW. And my macho-loving Kirk-fanboi of an uncle has been hate watching it religiously. The last time he hated a Star Trek show (DIS) he just didn't watch it. So this opposite response to SNW fascinates me. He talks big talk about there being too many women on the Bridge and hates on La'an with a particular vehemence, both because she's permitted in Starfleet despite a direct relation to the augments' leader and because she's a tiny lady running security. (I can't separate the more reasonable perspective from the sexist one, the man is both.) At first I took his persistent critiques of the SNW crew as a very straightforward anti-women enmity, until Christmas when he came out with the following bomb-shell.

"We just watched Voyager, you know Janeway: Janeway is alright. She's a good captain."

(Color me shocked we had rage-inducing debates about this in my teens and early twenties)

On the one hand, perhaps my uncle has gotten slightly less sexist towards a female captain over the last 30 years? Doubtful considering the way he layers personal criticisms on the female SNW characters. But on the other, him now enjoying Janeway's show does make me understand his hate and fascination with SNW. It's not about the women on the Bridge at all.

It's about Pike.

I'm sure there are other factors. Janeway's main Bridge crew was almost entirely male. And Voyager was written to try not to offend the sensibilities of men like my uncle (an effort that hasn't worked on him until now). But I also think it's got a lot to do with the two captains' presence on the Bridge, and how each captain is portrayed in their own show. Janeway makes many more aggressive command choices than Pike, by virtue of personality and situation. Sometimes she makes those choices even against the reservations of male subordinates. She stares down the barrel of death on numerous occasions, unblinking. She's often the protagonist in her own show. She changes the timeline to influence her past self and encourages her to make a daring and selfish choice that is applauded and shown to pay off in a big way.

And notably, while she's the first woman to have center stage in the captain's seat, her femininity and portrayal of gender is what I think is best described as micro-managed (One need only look at the dizzying array of styles the show experiments with for her hairdo). She dresses in a very feminine way off duty, but often displays more "masculine" behaviors, especially on duty. She very rarely cries. Outside of expressing anger, flirtation, and curiosity, she is not often overtly emotional. A special note for flirtation: she gets wide license to be flirtatious with everyone from enemy combatants to her senior staff to even her ship when she's trying to sweet talk it. She avoids talking about her feelings at all costs. She can't cook and that's a running joke. In all the ways that matter, she acts like one would expect a traditionally male captain to act, with just enough feminine concessions sprinkled in to keep her from coming off as "too masculine."

Pike is very diplomatic and much more rule-conscious. He's Starfleet's boy scout. He takes a back seat in many episodes as other characters get to shine. When he is center stage the conflicts he combats are very personal. He stares down the barrel of "death" (as he's referred to his future disability) and flinches. His trip to change time is done to tell his past self to step aside, act selflessly and take a back seat to a fate that terrifies him. He often listens to and makes decisions that align with his (largely female) Bridge crew's recommendations. And while he dresses in a traditionally masculine way on and off duty, emotionally, he's shown to be much more traditionally feminine. He cries over a dead horse (My uncle was particularly aghast at that). He cooks and is shown to take pleasure in it, even using it as a tool of diplomacy. He is a sympathetic counseling ear for many of his crew.

He does not get to flirt with his Bridge crew. When he is shown expressing sexual interest in someone it leads to emotional hurt and command weakness (in Lift Us Up Where Suffering Cannot Reach, he becomes aware of his love-interest's abhorrent ethics only after watching her participate in something horrific, which he is helpless to stop. And when Batel gets into trouble with the Gorn in Hegemony, his fixation on her well-being comes off as somewhat short-sighted, and contributes to command paralysis in the final scene). His very close friendship with Una may border on romantic attachment, but there's nothing sexual about their on screen interactions. And his quest to have her accepted by the Federation is one of the only major emotional decisions he undertakes that is shown to have a majorly positive outcome.

In sum I think Pike is shown to be vulnerable, gentle, and craving of connections in a way that is very human, but one that men are not traditionally supposed to be. The themes of his arc center on standing aside for the benefit of others, accepting future loss of ability and death, making peace with a future that doesn't center around you - all messages about moving from selfishness to selflessness. His lack of sexual incentives and behaviors stands out distinctly from how male protagonists typically get portrayed. He's basically anathema to the masculine ideal my uncle's spent his life trying to embody.

I still don't know what reason drives my uncle to keep watching "Strange New Girls" as religiously as he has. But I do now see his fixation on finding fault with all the women on the Bridge differently. By critiquing them, he is deflecting attention from his discomfort with the man in the center seat.

[isagrimorie]

I keep going back to what Kirsten Beyer said in the BTS for Stardust City Rag

Kirsten Beyer: "What we expect of our Star Trek heroes is that they will be able to overcome the very natural Human instincts that would in that case demand revenge." [snip] "I'm torn because my lifelong love for Star Trek tells me the same thing that the reason these people are our heroes is because they always manage to find their way to the light. But what a show like Picard is very intentionally and conscientiously doing is making the darkness a little bit deeper and darker. I sort of understand the necessity of a story like this."

Beyer hinted how much she struggled with this choice and writing this story for Seven. She gets why but it's something I feel she still struggles with because when David Mack wrote Firewall -- Beyer made sure to walk Mack back when he had a scene where Seven just killed a lot of people and walked it off.

Mack gave credit to Kirsten for pulling him back from that and how Kirsten made sure to note that 2 years post-Voyager, Seven of Nine wouldn't be just cavalier about killing people.

And that in Stardust City Rag Seven was driven to that point.

I've now read Kirsten Voyager's relaunch novels and I get why Kirsten had some reservations.

As for Jeri Ryan, as an actress, of course, she loves this kind of stuff-- the more gut-wrenching, the better the acting exercise it is for her. The one Jeri Ryan had trouble with is Seven's new speech pattern. It's only when Jonathan del Arco shared the insight that Seven might have just been masking/becoming more Human for survival

Personally, I don't have a problem with Seven killing Bjayzl, the cold open has given enough reason why Seven would.

Although I don't think Seven killed Bjayzl's guards.

When Seven killed Bjayzl her blaster (phaser?) color was red:

And then when the guards stormed in, Seven's blaster colors turned blue:

So she was, at most, stunning them on her way out.

Seven executed Bjayzl but only Bjayzl. She played judge, jury, and executioner but also as Seven said in that part of the 'verse (I refuse to consider Freecloud as part of the Federation) there was no law.

Also, killing Bjayzl might have also stopped the Borg harvester operation-- at least in her organization.

Anyway, I wish we saw Seven's soul searching after she killed Bjayzl.

How she went from here:

To this moment in the season finale of Picard s1:

I can make the leap in my head how Seven got there -- how after so many years of searching Bjayzl finally got her revenge and in the end... apart from the moment of satisfaction. It didn't really assuage her pain.

But on the show, we didn't really see this soul searching onscreen since Seven wasn't a main character in Picard s1 -- on Voyager we would be following her all the way to the end of the episode. But also, the show was called "Picard" not "Seven of Nine". And it only had 10 episodes, there's not enough runway to showcase this.

One of my favorite moments in The Originals is after finally enacted her vengeance on someone who made it impossible for Hayley to be with her infant daughter.

And how in the end, that revenge didn't even do anything.

I feel Seven needed to walk that dark path, so she could find her own way back, following her own road out.

/ETA

[it-happened-one-fic]

Maybe Not Always - Diluc

Author's Notes: This is such an old fic. This is quite literally one of the first Genshin fics I wrote. It's just been sitting, gathering dust in my to-post document since then. I'd almost forgotten it existed until I stumbled across it today. I do, however, remember doing research for this fic. Due to it's age, I have absolutely no clue about what I might have been listening to when I wrote this, if I was listening to anything at all. Anyway, reader is gender-neutral, as per usual, in this pic. I hope you enjoy!

Type: Fluff/platonic or romantic (whichever you prefer)/implied angst (kind of halfway, don't worry it's not bad)

Word count: 1879

Warnings: Injury/tourniquet

I huffed, stumbling forward slightly under the weight of the man I currently supported. As if in response, Diluc sighed as he pushed away from me to lean against a wall and rest, “You need to get home. I can make it the rest of the way on my own.” 

I shook my head, straightening to better look him in the eye, “You won’t be making it anywhere very fast at all with your leg like that.” I gestured to his bloodied leg pointedly and he glanced down at it with a grimace.

I didn’t know exactly what had happened, only that the Abyss Order had been involved. The fact that he’d gotten hurt was alarming enough as it was, but the fact he’d been completely oblivious to my presence till I’d run over was even more so.

“How did they hurt you? You’ve never gotten hurt in the past,” Worry crept into my voice as I looked at his injured leg and he raised his head to look at me.

He frowned at my concern before shaking his head, “I just hadn’t expected that many. It looks far worse than it actually is.”

I all but scowled at him from where I now leaned against the wall opposite him. It was frustrating how hard he tried to keep people from helping him.

A part of me understood. Diluc did some dangerous things as the ‘Darknight Hero,’ but he couldn’t keep this up. He was going to have to hide his injury and do his work with no one noticing.

After all, an injury like that was bound to be questioned by numerous individuals. Especially since when he’d last been in the city as ‘Diluc’ he hadn’t been injured.

I rolled my shoulders as I pushed myself off the wall before extending a beckoning arm, “Come on, Angel’s Share isn’t far now. I should be able to help you get sort of patched up there.”

Diluc frowned, but didn’t object as he hobbled over to where I offered support. He did stubbornly hold up more of his weight than he should be trying to though.

I almost sighed at his efforts to keep from burdening me, but didn’t say anything. It was a miracle he was letting me help this much anyway. He’d tried to turn me away when I’d found him earlier. 

I’d been on my way home from closing up the shop when I’d found him kneeling on the ground, hands pressed to his bloody thigh that had a make-shift knife sticking out of it.

I hadn’t asked for specifics, instead rushing over to help him. I’d been met with thanks and reassurances that he could handle it on his own. To his obvious displeasure I’d refused and assisted him to the best of my ability.

Perhaps the worst part of this trek through the streets was getting him to Angel’s Share without being seen. We had to take back alleys in order to avoid the patrolling Knight’s of Favonius who he refused to ask for assistance.

His argument was that they’d connect the dots or that Kaeya would out him to the rest of the knights. In reality, I think he just really did not want help, much less theirs. After all, he’d already tried to send me home three times.

He stumbled and let out a hissing sound, causing me to look over at him with unconcealed worry. His red eyes met mine, holding my gaze for just a few brief seconds before  they darted away as if nothing was wrong, “It’s fine.”

I suppressed the now familiar need to sigh and instead looked forwards. The path that led towards Angel’s Share was welcoming as my eyes found the very building we’d been headed towards, “Look, we’re almost there.”

 I watched through my peripheral, hardly able to keep the smile off my face as he looked forward and a relieved smile appeared on his face.

 I carefully led him over to one of the tall stone walls that encircled Mondstadt and let him prop himself up. Soon I was listening to his calm directions that led me to the hidden key for the back door.

“Okay, come on,” I looped his arm over my shoulder and maneuvered him into the darkened room. Pushing the door shut with my foot as he released me to instead support himself against the wall as he eased himself onto a stool. 

I flicked on the light before looking down at him, “Where are the bandages?” 

His eyes slowly shifted up to meet mine before he glanced off to the side and pointed, “Top shelf, over there.”

My eyes followed his pointed finger and I fought back a grimace as I beheld an impressively sized cabinet. 

Stool it was then. 

As soon as I could reach it I nabbed the box marked with the red cross on it and walked over to where he sat. Ignoring the way his eyes followed my every movement, but never betrayed his thoughts.

“I’m going to have to pull the knife out, so this is gonna hurt.” My eyes flicked up to meet his as I braced myself, “As soon as it’s out I’ll have to apply pressure which will hurt even more. Ready?”

He inhaled slightly but nodded, his eyes not leaving mine until I broke eye contact by looking down.

 I would have far preferred to leave the knife in to block bleeding and get Barbara’s help but he’d already shot that idea down. Twice.

I was surprised by how quickly it all happened once I got started though.

 One second the knife was in his leg with me gripping the hilt and then the next it was out, laying on the floor where I’d dropped it. I applied pressure to the wound that blood was now flowing freely out of, gritting my teeth as I did everything I could to slow the gushing.

He let out a pained grunt and my eyes flicked up to his face before zipping back down to his leg.  I hurriedly grabbed cloth from the box and started stuffing the wound while also trying to keep pressure on it. 

I grimaced in sympathy as I quickly finished my work. Applying a tourniquet so we could get him home where more skilled hands, like Adelaide’s, could handle the rest.

“Are you…?” I stopped myself before I finished the question. 

He was not alright. He was in incredible pain and had somehow kept himself from screaming bloody murder through all that.

He inhaled harshly but nodded, somehow still feigning calm, “Thank you…” I almost grimaced again at his pained sounding words that gave away exactly how much that had hurt.

“Do you need to rest, or-” 

I was cut off with a firm shake of the head, his red eyes now gleaming with determination as he at last succeeded in drawing a sigh out of me.

I should’ve known he wouldn’t rest. Diluc was one of the people who would keep pushing himself to the very moment he shattered into a million pieces.

That was why I stayed with him no matter how many times he tried to distance himself. At the very least I could work at keeping all of the tiny pieces in place and prevent him breaking.

“Come on then. We need to get you home anyway.” I glanced down, looking at my hasty work with a frown, “That won’t be enough, but it’ll last for the trip. Adelaide should be able to handle the rest.” 

He nodded in stiff agreement, but I was already puzzling about how to get him back to his manor. Limping there wasn’t an option, we’d never make it before dawn and he definitely needed rest.

“Do you have a wagon or something we can use?” His eyes met mine with a unique exhaustion and that was answer enough. 

“I’ll ask the knights-”

“No.” His answer was swift, but hardly well thought out.

 I stood, crossing my arms and glaring down at him, “We have to get you home and you said Kaeya already knew about your ‘secret identity.’ We might as well ask the knights for help so that you won’t get an infection and will actually be able to walk in the future.” 

He almost scowled at me but I let out a huff, more annoyed than impressed by his irritation.

“I know you don’t like the knights, but you’re just going to have to deal.” I turned, getting ready to head out into the street and flag down a patrolling knight only to get stopped by Diluc’s attempt to stand that had me turning and sitting him back down.

One of his hands grasped my arm, holding me in place with ease as he firmly held my gaze, “Fine. But… But make sure you get Kaeya…. Anyone else might-” 

I nodded, wishing that I could find it in me to be soothing, but finding it difficult to actually do so as I responded. “Yes, yes I know. Anyone else might figure out your secret. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure they get Kaeya.” 

He nodded at my reassurance, noticeably relaxing and at last allowing me to slip outside and onto the street so that I could glance around.

I spotted one of the armored men in the distance and raised my arm, “Sir!” 

He whirled like he’d been shot as soon as I shouted but came trotting over immediately, “Yes, what do you need Ma’am?” 

I almost grinned as I recognized the man. Miles. He would be perfect for the job.

“Miles, can you go get Kaeya? He is needed at Angel’s Share.” I watched the determined look leave the man’s eyes as he sighed.

“I see, a bill to be settled. Very well, he will be here shortly.” I watched as he turned and trotted off, letting out a sigh of relief as he disappeared.

 Saved by Kaeya’s alcohol habits and bad reputation. Who would have thought?

I went back into the tavern and Diluc immediately looked up as I entered. “Miles is getting Kaeya now. He assumed that our beloved cavalry captain had a bill to settle. Your secret is safe.”

Diluc managed an amused grin and nodded at me, “Good.” He fell silent, looking off towards the door, faking patience as we waited for the knight to come.

He shifted on his stool, wincing with motion but looking back towards me, “Again, thank you. This could have been much worse if you hadn’t found me.”

I nodded, a grin making its way onto my face, “Not a problem, can’t have Mondstadt’s one and only Darknight Hero out of commission, now can we? If nothing else Donna would be crushed.” 

She wouldn’t be the only one, but I kept that thought to myself. No need to guilt trip the poor man when he was taking the time to thank me for my assistance.

Diluc’s frown was almost immediate and I snickered as he deadpanned, “Don’t call me that.”

I smiled at him warmly, despite what a pain he’d been I was been relieved that Diluc was okay, “I guess the Darknight Hero doesn’t always work alone?”

I was met with a wry grin, “Maybe not always.”

[curator-on-ao3]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you so much for tagging me, @divinemissem13! ❤️

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 127

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 660,997

3. What fandoms do you write for? Star Treks, mostly Strange New Worlds, Lower Decks, Picard, and Voyager.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Tuvok’s Secret (G): Tuvok has a secret — and he trusts only one person onboard to keep it. (Kathryn Janeway & Tuvok)

Feet on the Ground (G): Something solid slams into Kathryn’s back. She stumbles forward, bumping Mark, who in turn careens into someone else. Kathryn turns to glare at the probably inebriated party-goer who didn’t watch where they were going. But, instead, she looks up to achingly familiar dark eyes and the curves and lines of a tattoo that Kathryn spent the last eighteen months telling herself she didn’t miss. (Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway)

The Halo Effect (M): Tom Paris and Kathryn Janeway didn’t intend to fall in love. (Kathryn Janeway/Tom Paris)

Fly Me to the Moon (E): Kathryn Janeway and Tom Paris never met each other years before Voyager. Never served on a covert mission together. Never fell in love. Never planned a future together. Nope, never happened. Because a secret like that could lead to some … complex dichotomies. (Kathryn Janeway/Tom Paris)

Bad Ensign (T): Harry Kim finds out he missed out on an important part of the Starfleet Academy experience. Hilarity and dirty jokes ensue. (ensemble, friendship fic)

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes. If someone was kind enough to leave a comment, I’m going to thank them.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I used to not know how to answer this question, but I recently got a kudos on Honey, I’m Home and while that story definitely isn’t “sit down crying” angst, I feel like maybe it qualifies? (Though In the Doorway might also fit under that criteria? Both stories are Kathryn Janeway/Tom Paris, but they only get together in one of them.)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Either Feet on the Ground or Youthful Exuberance (Some Kind of Love). Feet on the Ground has Janeway and Chakotay finding their way together after their Delta Quadrant trauma (note: Chakotay is afraid to leave the Sol system for fear of getting pulled into the Delta Quadrant again — Prodigy!Chakotay didn’t exist yet when I wrote that but, from what I’ve heard, he could possibly relate). Youthful Exuberance lets our heroes, Christopher Pike and Una Chin-Riley, have all manner of ups and downs, but the tags promise a 100 percent happy ending and I was determined to deliver.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not that I’m aware of, usually.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes. Vanilla because I find that interesting to write. (I’ll read all sorts of stuff.)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I write crossovers within the Trekverse. The two craziest allowed Tuvok and Geordi LaForge to have tea together (Asunder [T] Kathryn Janeway/Tom Paris) and Shannon O’Donnell Janeway to tell Benny Russell how much his writing has meant to her (Meeting of the Minds [G] Shannon O’Donnell Janeway & Benny Russell, Kathryn Janeway & Benjamin Sisko).

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Other than by ChatGPT, not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, In the Doorway was translated into Russian.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, and am doing so again.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? NCC 1701

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? There’s one I technically finished about Tom Paris and Owen Paris in the aftermath of Owen’s beta canon torture by the Cardassians. But it’s really dark and I don’t know if I’ll ever edit or post it.

16. What are your writing strengths? Adaptability (to prompts), brevity, details.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I’m having trouble lately with voice and lack of vocabulary variety.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? If necessary, a beta fluent in the language can be very helpful.

19. First fandom you wrote for? I consider that to be Voyager, but recently reflected on an even earlier fandom for me.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? My most recent fic always holds a place in my heart, so Disarmed (Mirror Una Chin-Riley/Mirror Christopher Pike) is special to me, and also was an interesting mental stretch because I’d never before written sex that the characters think is good but I think isn’t good. But my all-time favorite? Youthful Exuberance (Some Kind of Love). It’s my novel length love letter to Chris and Una, and it means a lot to me.

Tagging: Tumblr has been doing this fun thing lately where I don’t see posts from people I follow. So, if you actually see this, please consider yourself tagged with no pressure. Also, in addition to the wonderful people tagged by @divinemissem13, I’m tagging @grissomesque @fiadorable @emilie786 @genius2mania @lorcaswhisky @enterprise-come-in @marymoss1971 @sun-lit-roses @kejsarinna @iamstartraveller776 @isagrimorie @emonydeborah and the fantastic folks I’m not thinking of right now because I have tag anxiety.

[leonardcohenofficial]

20 questions for fic writers

i was tagged by @majorbaby to answer these—thank you so much!!!!!!!

i'll tag @draftdodgerag / @radioprune/ @sightofsea and anyone else who'd like to do this! answers below:

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? a grand total of five :D

2. What's your total Ao3 word count? 28,313 words!

3. What fandoms do you write for? currently have only published for mash, but i have fics for the man from uncle, star trek, star wars, doctor who, twin peaks, starsky and hutch, and black sails in drafts

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? i only have five fics on ao3 LOL

5. Do you respond to comments? i do my best to!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? i suppose it's (open your hands) given it takes place before "bottoms up" which is fairly angsty in the overall houlifield arc

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? between the two longform fics i've posted—someone is waiting and so this is the word—they both have happy endings! i suppose whatever is happier depends on if you're more of a fan of piercintyre or hunnihawk endgame

8. Do you get hate on fics? i've never received any direct hate, so none that i'm aware of.................... 

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? yes; not usually plain pwp because i like having somewhat of a story tied to the smut but every once in a while it's less plot-driven

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? i have not written any crossovers nor do i particularly feel any want to

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? nope/not to my knowledge, hope to keep it that way!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? no but would be honored and open to granting permission to do so!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? no, don't really have interest in doing so (LOL)

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? legitimately such a hard question lol; there are some ships that i don't even think about actively shipping because in my mind i nearly forget that they're not canon (see: spirk, skysolo, albert/dale, illya and napoleon, etc.) whereas there are certain relationship dynamics that continue to make me feel like the top of my head is being torn off and i think always will (twelveclara is absolutely insanity inducing, vanerackham also being a ship that really took over my brain and has not let go since, honorable mention to whatever barisi did to my psyche as a seventeen year old); not to mention all the relationships from non-fandom (for lack of a better term) media that i find extraordinarily emotionally impactful (tommy and axel in edge of the city, omar and johnny in my beautiful laundrette, whatever is happening between hamlet ophelia and horatio, same with karen joe and martha in these three, could name plenty of books and films and plays that this happens to me with)

all of this to say, it probably is piercintyre (still with a lot of love for hunnihawk) or spirk

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? i have a few mash fic drafts that have been sitting in my notes app since literally 2019 so we will see if those ever see the light of day lmfao

16. What are your writing strengths? i think i'm very good at third person limited POV, which is how i write all of my fics (i don't like first person POV fics, despise omniscient, and find second person hardest to write); i also think that i'm pretty strong with narrative structure (comes with being a dramaturg lol) and internal dramaturgy and detail when it comes to researching for my writing

17. What are your writing weaknesses? i don't write linearly (this applies to my academic writing as well as fics) which i think does often make it harder on myself when piecing together a bunch of vignettes and trying to make them flow; i think that my understanding of narrative structure helps me get around this but i do wish i didn't always throw in an obstacle to my own writing. i also think i can be a bit too succinct (this is more a challenge with my academic writing than my fics imho but is a note that i get consistently from my committee haha)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? if the writer actually knows how to speak it and isn't just throwing text into google translate on a wing and a prayer, i don't always HATE it hate it; i've read a few good the man from uncle fics where if illya is speaking in ukranian or russian it's either mentioned in a character's POV or the text is put in italics which i think is a more effective device in communicating that the characters are speaking another language rather than the one the fic is written in

19. First fandom you wrote for? i wrote very bad doctor who and sherlock fanfiction when i was in middle school which i published on deviantart LMFAOOOOOOO

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? i think the honor has to go to someone is waiting—it was just such a labor of love and weaving in all of the sondheim references that have been so important to me with a longform exploration of hawkeye's takes on love was (as cheesy as it is to say) really special to me as a writer and it means so much that it resonated with so many people! (plus it has a very good soundtrack)

[bylightofdawn]

2023 Wrap Up.

It’s officially New Years in Texas. 2023 has been a weird year for me, one that both dragged and flew by way too quickly. There’s so much pain and awfulness going on the world right now that it’s hard to not dwell on or carry that into 2024 but I’m going to try and keep this relatively light-hearted and positive if only because I want to try and start the New Year on a positive note. For me personally? I didn’t really do anything big or notable but I had some smaller but meaningful victories.

I made a New Years resolution (something I’m pretty vehemently against because I always feel disappointed in myself when I don’t follow through) that I was going to start writing again and I would try and write every day. I didn’t manage every day but boy howdy did I still keep up that resolution. The major project of course being Seeds for the Future which I clocked in at 176,456 words minus I want to say around 10,000 words which I’d previously started like 3 years ago before abandoning it. So we’ll call it 165,000 to make it even-ish.

Holy. Shit. 165,000 in one year. I did not in a million years think I had that in me. And it’s been a wild ride. At points I felt like I was being ridden by a damned demon that was demanding I write this NOW. I was especially busy the first six months or so and then I burned myself out which….completely understandable when you consider your standard basic fiction book is around 70,000+ so I wrote two fucking novels in six months length-wise. But I also wrote a bunch of other stuff. I wrote A Fragile World Between Sharp Teeth which I’m still absurdly in love with. Wrote two whole-ass Witcher fics this month and one Star Trek fic as well as some other WIPs.

By my calculations I wrote -drum roll- 233,383 words in 2023.

223,383 WORDS WRITTEN ARE YOU SHITTING ME

And actually followed through on a New Years Resolution.

I also forced myself out of my comfort zone in little ways. I pushed myself to take action on my health to try and figure out the cause of my chronic pain and while the diagnosis was a bummer as was getting diagnosed with diabetes on top of everything else this year, I am proud that I forced myself to do it. I also did silly things like bleached my hair and dyed it all manner of crazy colors.

I think for 2024 I’m going to try and hold myself accountable for my health. I desperately need to go back to therapy and as much as I hate to admit it, I need to join a gym and strengthen my body. It will be the best thing I can do for my RA if I can help strengthen my muscles and I think it will help with my pain levels. It just...it sounds like so much effort though and it scares me so we’ll see how that journey goes. I’m going to keep plugging away slowly but surely.

I’m also going to keep trying to write in 2024. I have so many fic ideas I want to write. I’m definitely not going to do anymore crazy fucking 100K fics again. It definitely takes a toll on me creatively and not going to lie, after a while it feels like I’m just kinda screaming into the void because the sad truth of the matter is, long-fic will turn readers off and they won’t click or interact with it. And eventually my imposter syndrome reared its ugly head and the last half of this year and trying to finish Seeds has been a slog for the most part and not one I enjoyed.

Now, I’m going to go pour myself a glass of Moscato, eat some stupidly expensive caprese salad and I think edit the first chapter of my Gallahir sequel. I think I might be able to get it up and posted today if I can edit the first chapter tonight. Thank you to all my tumblr buddies, both new and old who have stuck it out with me through everything. I love and appreciate y’all and I am hoping you all have a happier, more kinder year than 2023.

[floating-in-the-blue]

Twenty Questions Writer Meme

Thank you soooo much for tagging me @nuandia <3 <3 <3

How many works do you have on AO3? 84

What's your total AO3 wordcount? 341,785

What fandoms do you write for? currently (and for the foreseeable future), it's only Julie and the Phantoms (with a very minor guest spot from Red White & Royal Blue). In the past, I've also written for Metal Gear Solid and Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries with a few more random ones sprinkled in, but usually just for a single fic or two.

What are your top five fics by kudos? Will You with 409 kudos (one of my earliest jatp fics when the fandom was still hungry) Home is Where My Ghost is 253 kudos (even earlier jatp fic but let's be real, not as good) In Your Starlight  253 kudos as well (the jatp Star Trek au) Silent Souls  with 254 kudos (somehow this little Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them soulmate au got really popular) Under My Skin  208 kudos (a silly, fluffy Metal Gear Solid tattoo artist/florist au)

Do you respond to comments? I really want to say "always" but there's a few that I haven't responded to yet. Though mainly because I've been talking with the people on other sites already. But in general, save my few lapses, I do believe that it's only good manners to say 'thank you' if someone takes the time to not only read but also comment what you've written.

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Well, the angstiest ending, because very sad and bittersweet, is the one I wrote for Nature 2.0 but which hasn't been published yet but I love a lot. There's two more finished Metal Gear Solid fics with sad endings, Dear Dave and Battlefield, because they're both, strictly speaking, major character death fics. The death just happens to be more or less natural at the end of a (mostly) fulfilled life.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Except for the sadder MGS fics, most of my fics have proper happy endings so I'm not sure. The Star Trek AU has a very hopeful ending that I quite like and I think my current wip, the Alex Adoption Fic, will have a very happy ending, especially considering the beginning.

Do you get hate on fics? I have once received anon hate on a prompt fill gift fic that asked for genderswapped Snake/Otacon because the anon thought I was transphobic. It was honestly very laughable so I didn't take it very seriously. And of course there was the whole blacklist disaster in the jatp fic and me ending up on that list because I'd dared to write jatp smut (once, at that point, very loving, with aged-up characters). But I didn't receive hate on the actual fic, either on AO3 or here.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes, see above ;D I've gotten better at the steaminess, I think, but my characters still talk more than I usually expect them to (though I love it) and they're also very bad at hiding their feelings. I also like to keep it a little down to earth with some awkwardness or clumsiness and lighthearted notes. So no hardcore pwp with only bare resemblances to the actual characters from me. I do believe even the sexiest times need to make sense with the characters ;D

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? The earliest fanfic lil me ever attempted was a massive crossover of Star Trek (TOS and VOY), Stargate, X-Files and Star Wars (and maybe a few other things I can't remember right now) but I never got very far. Incidentally, that's the only fanfic of mine my parents ever read (they were very encouraging ... not sure what they would think of things now XD). But actually published fic? I might forget some earlier things, but I don't think I've ever written a crossover with characters from two distinctly separate fandoms meeting somehow (except co-writing, see answer below). Only ever AUs with maybe a borrowed universe or plotlines.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? not as far as I know. There was somebody who stole a bunch of smut fics for jatp and posted them over on wattpad but mine weren't among them. Still not sure whether to be glad or affronted about that ;P

Have you ever had a fic translated? I have! Silent Souls (Vietnamese translation) ... it's all in the title ;D It got 8 kudos and a bookmark. It doesn't really count but I've also translated rpg-turned-fics written by me and a friend into English and once I get access to those files again (hopefully saved from my old hard drive) I'd like to get back to those and finish the translation. Maybe once I run out of inspiration for jatp if no other fandom has claimed me by then.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Evidently, the answer is sort of. They weren't properly written as fic. But turning an rpg into a fic was also a lot of fun and a nice challenge. Luckily, my writing partner's and my own style meshed well enough so it was easier to put it together. As vans already mentioned, she and I brainstormed a very nice polyphantoms idea that I still quite like but we never got beyond brainstorming. I might ask her if I could tackle the idea again now she's moved on to other fandoms but I'm not sure I could write polyphantoms any more. I also once wrote a self-insert Final Fantasy X/Dark Angels crossover fic with a friend in high school. It was not good but lots of fun.

What's your favorite all-time ship? I'm assuming this is about writing and then the answer is obviously Willex (Alex/Willie from jatp) because I've written so much for them and still have so many ideas. But I also really enjoyed writing for Snake/Otacon from Metal Gear Solid. They're angstier and burdened with more baggage and their canon ending is more bitter than bittersweet but the philosophical soldier/genius nerd combination is a very nice flavour to explore.

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? Nature 2.0 probably. It's the only one of those ambitious fics I actually started posting on AO3 and so will forever haunt me there. I'm not saying never but it is very unlikely at the moment.

What are your writing strengths? I think character, dialogues, and scene flow. I'm also a decent editor (for a non-native speaker) so pretty all of my stories should be pretty readable without having to stumble over frequent repetitions or typos or weird tense changes.

What are your writing weaknesses? action scenes and PLOTTING

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Does it count as writing dialogue in another language if I'm writing in English even though I'm not a native speaker? XD As for other other languages. It hasn't come up yet, tbh.

First fandom you wrote for? Aside from the aforementioned massive crossover lil Yeo attempted as a young teen, I think it was the self-insert Final Fantasy X (never published, thankfully) with a friend.

Favorite fic you've written? This is always difficult but also not. I think the one fic I am 100% happy with is Call For a Date, (Don’t) Fall in Love the willex fake boyfriend agency au. That doesn't mean I don't love my other fics though because I generally do.

I'm not sure who's done this and who hasn't but let's try @innytoes and @jonairadreaming <3

[starseneyes]

Did you like the confession of feelings from 5.08? From Tim and Lucy?

Hey, Anon! Thanks for the message. This is a tricky one.

I tend not to post my negative thoughts much on here. Partly because I understand that so much of a show comes together because of many parties contributing to an overall whole. Showrunners. Writers. Actors. Producers. Networks. Editors. Directors. Directors of Photography. And the list goes on.

There are things that bug me sometimes about any number of areas, but I tend to keep it to myself. It doesn't seem productive to point something out on an episode that's "in the can" and mentioning it does nothing but come off as whining.

So, I'll answer this honestly because you asked directly—I liked it, but didn't love it, simply because I was confused in the middle, and that pulled me out of the moment.

I have a very hard time being "in the moment" with any television show. Let me explain why:

My mother's a hair and makeup artist in the industry. When I was a kid, I was very badly bullied by classmates, teachers, and even guidance counselors. I was slapped, kicked, tripped, punched, threatened, and had my belongings hidden, manure put in my backpack, and zero support at the school level.

My Mom's answer? She would write me a sick note and take me on set. Most of the directors were super nice, and would invite me to sit behind them at the monitors so I could watch everything.

Sometimes I helped at Craft Service. Sometimes I simply sat and watched scenes. Sometimes I was an extra. I even acted a bit way back in the day. Many of the folks would talk to me, tell me about what they did and why.

At night, my mother left her scripts out for me to collate. Sometimes, we'd get dailies or advanced copies of the episodes and I'd get to sit down and see how they compared to the script. Then compare that to the as-aired editions. I was always fascinated by the changes that came down.

I wrote my first script at 13, an episode of Star Trek: Voyager. I was complimented for the dialogue being spot-on, and to this day the biggest compliments I get are on dialogue and character. For whatever reason, that's always come easy.

I grew up in a very strange way as a set kid who also fell in love with how it all worked. I was a Film Minor in college and had a lot of fun getting blood advice from my mother (drop of blue), and I loved editing.

On top of that, one of my first jobs as a kid was doing voice replacement for Anime. And I spent about 20 years as a contract player with Studio Center doing commercials, books on tape, on-hold messages, and whatnot.

All that to say—lots of stuff stands out to me that most people don't care about a lick. I get excited by camera movements and continuity. I marvel at what we can do with drones vs having to hire a helicopter. I think about the lighting and how to motivate directionality depending on the scene.

Lucy and Tim's conversation (wow, I finally found my way back to the plot) is very them.

I've seen the shows where people have big, over-reaching confessions of their love for one another. And it fit. those. characters.

Tim and Lucy have a history of running from their feelings. For Lucy, she thought that Tim rejected her when he encouraged her to go to UC School. For Tim, he thinks that he's her greatest mistake—an almost that never should have been.

So this whole episode, Tim has been trying to encourage Lucy as a friend. He's not looking for anything. He truly is doing what he can for her, because he doesn't think she wants more. He thinks "she wants me to be her friend" and he's going to do it to his utmost.

Lucy's not even thinking about breaking up with Chris until Tim says she deserves someone who's worth the effort. That gets her brain going. Then Tim points out that Chris loves her, and she admits she doesn't love him.

"He's just not—"

You. You. We all know it's YOU. And as she's now reeling, because even if she didn't say it aloud, she thought it. "He's just not you."

And what do you do with that type of realization? That you're comparing this other guy you're actively dating to the guy beside you. So, Lucy Chen finishes out her shift, gets changed, and sets out to talk to Tim about the whole thing.

She goes into that conversation with the motivation that she wants to talk about them. But Tim's still in friend-mode, so he doesn't see the signals.

That's why it burst out of her. And I don't mind that. I don't mind it at all.

But Tim not acknowledging the change of conversational direction has always bothered me. Especially when it looks like they cut a line from him that very well may have been, "If we do this."

We skipped straight to, "No, you're right." And the first time through, I was super confused, I'll admit. The lack of acknowledgement from Tim just threw me.

There are probably a lot of people out there who weren't bothered at all. But watching Tim's body language indicate a line that was cut really confused me, and then his lack of acknowledgement of the change of direction puzzled me.

Again, you asked my thoughts directly, so I'm giving them openly. But I can hear a bunch of people rolling their eyes at me. Yes, I know I'm odd and what bothers me in a scene is odd.

Because, I don't have beef that Lucy blurted out what was really going on between them because she got impassioned by Tim's assertions about her fear and answered unthinkingly.

I think that's completely in character, especially considering her entire motivation in this scene was to feel that out with Tim. And Tim's surprise and trying to process is in-character, too, but I really missed that conversational transition the first time through. And it still stands out to me on every re-watch.

I know some people wanted a big, emotional love confession... but that's not Tim and Lucy. Neither of them is big about making speeches.

Tim talks often in two or three word sentences (see "Unless it is"). Lucy speaks rapidly, sometimes, but not in an overly elloquent fashion littered with metaphors and emotional revelations. They both tend to be fairly to-the-point in how they communicate.

If we were to get something flowery and flowy from Lucy, I'd expect it in her wedding vows, when she's had time to sit and compose something. She'll attack it like she does her UC work—thoroughly.

And Tim will find ways to show Lucy how he feels. He's more of a show guy, remember? Words aren't his forté, and if they suddenly were, it would be out of character.

Lucy speaks Tim. So, she'll know by his actions how much he loves and cherishes her.

And much as Lucy uses her words, I'd expect more pet-names and short bursts of affection (like telling him he'd do great on his first day) combined with the pranking and awkward photos that have been prevalent throughout their relationship, no matter the phase.

So, did I like the confession? Yes. It was very in-character. Did I love it? No. I had a bit of a hangup, but that's just me. I bet nobody else even noticed, or if they did, they didn't care.

I'm not here to criticize the Writers. I know the care that goes into crafting these characters and their relationships. The hours spent working together to break story, drafts, network notes, and so on. There are so many layers before we even get on-set to start shooting the darn thing.

I think a grand confession from either of them would have felt forced, heavy-handed, wildly out-of-character, and out of the character of the show as a whole. It wouldn't make sense to compromise the integrity of The Rookie for the sake of Chenford.

I do hope that answers your question (and makes a modicum of sense). It's entirely just my opinion! Everyone's mileage may vary, and that's part of what makes fandom fun. Thanks for the message!!