#how does one boy have so many issues and be a bully and a terror while still clearly being such a good person in any other situation

[sunshinechay]

The flashbacks in this episode were…something. I’m going to likely be that person who goes against popular opinion and say that I actually liked the use of the flashbacks. Were there too many? Absolutely! However, I do appreciate what they were trying to be. A way of visually showing Kang contexualizing his feelings for Sailom as they happened. Most of the time, when a character in a drama realizes that they like another, there is that montage of romantic moments of the two characters growing closer to each other. The big difference is that while there is usually only one, this time, the editors seem to air on the side of being too heavy handed with the metaphor.

Kang spends the episode conflicted about his feelings about Pimfah, about Sailom and about Pimfah’s feelings about Sailom. Love triangles are tricky things to do and I liked this one. I even liked how quickly it started and got resolved. Going too deeply, and spending too much time lingering in, Pimfah’s feelings for Sailom would have slowed the show down in a way that wouldn’t have worked (and yes I do agree that the show needs a bit of a slow down). It also risks turning Pimfah into a character she isn’t. She isn’t meant to be a jealous girlfriend nor a competitor for Kang. She is her own character with her own storyline (*looks at Pimfah and the student teacher* Harold they’re lesbians). She also serves as a narrative device to help Kang and Sailom get close (Guy also serves this function within the episode). Kang needed to see her feelings for Sailom in order to confront his own about her and Sailom.

Each flashback serves this function. Every time something happened, it would be accompanied by a flashback and more often than not, a pensive look from Kang (a part of me would very like to know exactly how many times Perth got “now I need to stare thoughtfully into the middle distance” as an instruction). Kang had to rethink and recontextualize just about every interaction he’s had with Sailom since being forced to be tutored by him. Kang does not have much in the way of emotional intelligence (which is the result of many factors both within and outside of Kang’s control) so he doesn’t, can’t, figure it out quickly. Kang himself has said that it has been told to him since he was young. He has to grow up, find a nice woman, get married and have children to carry on the family name. He doesn’t believe he can deviate from that path. That it’s the only path that will make his father proud, that will make his father pay attention to him and love him. It’s the only path that will make him feel worthy of something he should be getting already, his father’s love.

Which also brings to a thought I’ve been having since the beginning. I don’t know how many other people have thought this, but I don’t think Kang has ever actually liked Pimfah. They get along fine and are friends, but I don’t think Kang has ever actually had anything in the way of romantic feelings for her. I think he just decided on her because she was a safe choice. She is his friend, one he knows he gets on with, she seems to like him well enough and also, she is the daughter of one of his father’s business associates. There is no way his father would disprove of her. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that Kang’s father has mentioned something about Pimfah in the past or Kang and Pimfah’s fathers wouldn’t have tried to get them together a few years down the line.

Kang has buried how he really feels so far down. He has to take the time to truly dig it up and come to terms with it and I honestly don’t even think he really did that before he kissed Sailom. He figured it out sure, but he hasn’t come to terms with it. He just knows that if he doesn’t act now, he’ll lose Sailom to someone else, whether that is Pimfah or Guy or someone else. It also hasn’t escaped my notice that both of the possibly “love rivals” Kang has had have been characters that are a part of the shows secondary ships, which I also absolutely think is intentional.

The flashbacks are a narratively and visual tool to help the audience go on that journey with Kang. There were too many of them sure, but even that works in this situation, because it shows that Kang isn’t just going off of instinct. He is re-examining his feelings, even if he always jumps to the wrong conclusion in the end, but hey denial will do that to you. This show does have its issues and I think a lot of them do stem from the philosophy of “airing on the side of too heavy handed for it’s own good” in its use of tropes and pacing but in this particular case, even if they were kind of annoying by the end, I think it still worked.

[johannestevans]

M3gan and a lonely child

“She’ll take care of the little things, so you can spend more time doing the things that matter.”

From left to right, M3gan (Amie Donald), Gemma (Allison Williams), and Cady (Violet McGraw). Image via IMDb.

M3GAN, directed by Gerald Johnstone and written by Akela Cooper, is a great little horror film — it’s funny, it’s freaky, it’s well-paced, and obviously M3gan herself is a really great character who’s already had a lot of impact in memes and pop culture.

Cady (Violet McGraw), a quiet and self-effacing little girl, is orphaned when her parents are killed in a car accident, after which she’s sent to live with her Aunt Gemma (Allison Williams). Her aunt, a workaholic engineer at a famous toy company, pairs Cady up with the newest toy in development — M3GAN, standing for Model 3 Generative Android, a life-sized human doll that uses AI learning models to engage with, teach, care for, and otherwise be a companion to the children she’s paired with. M3GAN (played by Amie Donald, voiced by Jenna Davis) spends time with Cady while Gemma focuses for the majority of the film on her work, not realising that she’s neglecting Cady’s emotional needs or that M3gan’s learning model is more dangerous than she anticipated.

One thing I didn’t expect going into it was how much the central politics of the film would hit me and how hard — M3GAN throughout shows you a deeply unhappy, lonely little girl, and step-by-step goes through what has made her that way.

It would have been very easy for the film to basically treat M3GAN as a metaphor for the terrors of “screentime”, and how too much screentime harms a child — it stunts their growth! They become too used to screens! They become lonely and sad!

I don’t disagree that too much time using screens can be detrimental to anyone’s life and development, but it can’t be denied that screentime is frequently used as a boogeyman to distract from the real issue: that many caregivers give their children TV, computers, or their phones, because they don’t want to waste their time interacting with them. Children are stranded with screens and technology because their parents are busy, or tired, or just want them to be quiet. The technology itself is not the problem, but the desire to put this technology in your child’s hands and then walk away or mentally disengage so that you can do something else.

While there are a few moments in the film where Gemma (Allison Williams) treats M3gan with the casual disregard she might do an iPad, the core of most of the film is in that M3gan is making Cady feel cared for, which nobody else does.

Before I dig in, according to the NSPCC, these are the four main forms of child neglect:

Physical neglect. A child’s basic needs, such as food, clothing or shelter, are not met or they aren’t properly supervised or kept safe.

Educational neglect. A parent doesn’t ensure their child is given an education.

Emotional neglect. A child doesn’t get the nurture and stimulation they need. This could be through ignoring, humiliating, intimidating or isolating them.

Medical neglect. A child isn’t given proper health care. This includes dental care and refusing or ignoring medical recommendations.

Apart from medical neglect, in the course of M3gan, Cady experiences all of these forms of neglect from Gemma, and potentially from her parents as well. As well as Cady, a boy called Brandon (Cady’s bully who is killed by M3gan) also appears to be neglected by his mother, and Dewey the dog is also heavily neglected and not given appropriate care as a pet by Celia, Gemma’s neighbour.

The whole film is about desires to replace the basic responsibilities of caregiving with various alternatives, and also about avoiding the basic responsibilities of other relationships with each other and our communities.

M3gan’s not the cause of any of these, but a symptom, and a catalyst for their being shown more obviously.

Read on Patreon / / Read on Medium.

About 10k, a 38min read.

[multiples-fandomswontkillme]

~Metal Family headcanons~

These are like my... general hcs)? which means I didn't include my main hc that Glam, Ches and Vicky are polyamorous, married and started dating after Glam met Vicky, and absolutely everything that implies for the kids and the relationships between each member of the fam. Maybe I'll make a separate post for that or maybe not! Who knows lkfwnlfqnf

Glam

Bisexual

Glam has constant nightmares and ocasional night terrors ever since he ran away home and is an active sleep walker. Ches helped him through the worse ones when they were younger, and learned how to deal with them, always preferring not to wake him up but being with him until the episode passed. Vicky has learned how to deal with them, though she normally asks Ches for advice with it cuz she comes out short sometimes.

He has PTSD. I bet it's diagnosed too, he takes medication and goes to therapy, it doesn't mean he still doesn't have his bad days anyway. He's trying to get better.

Glam has talked to Vicky about his past, his father and his family. This is a direct contradiction of Alina's confirmation that Glam doesn't talk about it with anyone but man FUCK THAT. We love good communication in this house, Vicky tries her best to help him, but there's only so much she can do to help.

Glam enjoys gardening, cooking and making models, he also likes doing his make up, painting his nails and dressing up in fancy, extravagant clothes even if he has nowhere important to go.

He likes taking care of everyone's hair, and constantly helps Vicky brush her hair cuz there's so much of it, Dee when he gets stressed over how tangled it can get, buys Ches hair products so he actually takes care of it, and chases Heavy so the kid actually washes, untangles and brushes his hair.

This one is kind of weird, but I refuse to think any adult in the family is unarmed at any time. Glam owns a taser and pepper spray. They're bright pink and sparkly.

This man cried his eyes out while watching Coco. He's hell to watch movies with cuz he talks and predicts what's gonna happen during the movie, judges them with scores at the end and all.

Vicky

Also bisexual!

Vicky's the one who does everyone's laundry most of the time. She prefers it that way since she's the only one that knows how to wash their black clothes so the colors stay vibrant. (This is based on my gf shaming everyone but Vicky cuz their black clothes always look so muted and almost gray, but Vicky's whole outfit is always the same vibrant black colors, so we decided that neither Glam or the kids know how to wash dark clothes)

She has anger issues, if it isn't obvious. I think she also has PTSD, mainly survivor's guilt due to her surviving the accident her brother died in. She blames herself and cannot bear to talk about it, in some sort of deep denial. If she can't remember, it can't hurt as much, right?

She has scars on the right side of her back and her hip, from the road rash she got on her brother's accident, she never treated it due to grief and it scarred badly. Apart from that, the scar of the caesarean section from Heavy's birth. She doesn't really mind both of them, they happened, nothing to do about them.

She likes watching boxing competitions, brawling matches and motorcycle repairing on TV. Loves doing BBQ's and going to the pool. Also an enjoyer of teasing her kids, kissing and loving her husband at random times, spending time drinking and bonding with Ches and bragging about her family and punching anyone who thinks they're not that cool.

Not particularly a fan of make up, skirts and dresses or any traditionally femenine-perceived stuff. But has been making exceptions due to Glam and Ches being unashamed of being seen as femenine, and actually rocking the looks. The internalized misogyny is kind of slowly dissapearing.

Apart from the guns she carries in each arm (I mean her biceps, have you looked at the size of those?? She strong) she has brass knuckles on her at all times. Glam gifts her new ones sometimes, she loves having multiple choices to punch people teeth in.

Loves horror, thrillers and action movies. Falls asleep during rom-coms and dramas. Ironically, loves gossip and talking shit about people. Enjoys hearing Ches talks about the gossip going on in the nursery home even if she doesn't know who the hell he's talking about.

Rest of the family under the cut!

Heavy

Heavy is a trans boy! He doesn't know his sexuality yet though, he's still figuring himself out. When he's older, i think he definitely dated some men but had better luck with girls.

Heavy has had innocent crushes on some girls on his class before, but they never turn into anything more cuz he's not the best at expressing himself. He follows the bother-the-girl-to-death-until-she-hates-you gimmick, and unsurprisingly, it doesn't work.

I'm sorry to break this to u but Heavy totally had an among us phase, and uses so much reddit and twitch slang... You know he does.

Likes bullying and teasing his brother to death. You know that when Dee had his first romance, Heavy was ALL up in his business being a tease and a bad attempt at a wingman. He means well tho.

He's not squeamish at all. Also has great pain resistance. This kid has picked cockroaches with his bare hands and loves cats, of course the cats have scratched him. He's tough!

Grows up to be the charming himbo he was always destined to be.

Dee

I hc him as demisexual. Kind of inherited his dad's tastes for the takes no crap, intimidating but pretty kind of people.

Can't cook. He tries but he can only do basics like rice, cereal, chicken nuggets or eggs. Complicated meals always burn or don't taste like anything at all. It drives him crazy.

Dee was a quiet and very well behaved toddler before Heavy was born. He never threw tantrums or got whims. After Heavy was born though, and despite the fact he understood his brother was small and needed special care, he started craving attention often and cried and got mad at little things. Typical jealousy of the oldest sibling.

The first time Dee fell in love with someone, he didn't recognize it was love at first. He just thought his interest on the person was born out of curiosity and aesthetic attraction, but as soon as he realized he seeked validation and companionship, that he liked seeing them smile, that he wanted to protect them, that he yearned for more time alone with them and that he wanted more than what just a simple friendship implied, it was an instant 'oh hell no'. He wanted those feelings to get the hell away, but unfortunately, they were there to stay.

Canonically likes MLP, psychological and horror anime like Death note and Hellsing, so I'm deciding he also watched Death Parade, had a FNAF phase, is very into The Walten Files. This guy enjoys any kind of specially dark ARG's and knows a ton of lore of real crime, unsolved cases, ghost appearances and other stuff. Doesn't believe in the supernatural, but sure is entertained by it.

He's a mess at romance. Flirting? His attempts at compliments are hardly flattering. Giving gifts? The best he can manage is jewelry and you can kind of tell he asked his dad for help. Dates? He's so nervous he's silent for most of it, but begins getting comfortable and having fun if his partner really knows how to get him down from his negativity cloud.

Ches

Pansexual.

He's very good with kids. He has the patience of a saint and he's laid-back, chill and fun but still is an authority figure who knows how to put limits. Sure, he's gonna let the kids light up a house on fire BUT hey, now they know everything about fire precautions, burns and how to treat them AND how to get away with arson. What an educational evening, am I right?

Due to certain info from the "Goodbye" official comic, I headcanon Ches as depressed. I don't want to elaborate a lot 'cuz of spoilers, but... God, everything related to his mom fucking hurts, man. How did he deal with all that?

Ches has been Dee and Heavy's babysitter so many times he cannot count them with all his fingers. He learned how to put those kids to sleep almost immediately (Sing Bon Jovi's "This ain't a love song" and any cheesy love song in a slow lullaby style and they're out), which movie were their favorite as kids (Heavy loved 'Monsters Inc.' and Dee never looked away during 'Meet the Robinsons'), how to console them after nightmares (Heavy needed reassurance, sweet words, and to be with someone until he fell asleep again. Dee just had to be tucked in, get his nightlight turned on and kissed in the forehead). He practically raised those kids along with Vicky and Glam.

More than once, Dee and Heavy have slipped and called Ches "Dad". Ches immediately gets his shit eating grin on and answers "Yes, son?" and does a couple of dad jokes just to mess and embarrass them. He's actually very flattered and surprised at how proud of himself he is for being a father figure to both kids.

Has a scar on the left side of his forehead due to a bottle his mom threw at him when he was younger, around the time he met Glam. He hates the scar with passion, it's a permanent reminder of the fact she never cared, that's why he always keeps it covered with his headband. Gets sad about it sometimes.

Ches likes to spend his time with a group of grannies of the nearby nursing home. He genuinely considers them his friends and gossips and hangs out with all of them on weekends. Bingo, billiards, walks in the park, soap opera marathons, you name it. I even designed them, gave them names and backstories... God, i just love the concept too much. I'll make some art about Ches and his granny gang FOR SURE, you're NOT ready for them.

Carries a pocket knife on him at all times. This man grew up on a bad neighborhood and absolutely knows how to defend himself, he can be intimidating when he wants to be and will pose a threat if needed. He's fucking terrifying when genuinely mad. Just cause he looks harmless doesn't mean he is, darling.

That would be all!

[redrobin-detective]

My issue with the Tucker's jealously subplot wasn't just that it was unresolved. It was like: how? He had front-row seats to Danny struggling in school, barely sleeping, living in terror of his own family, getting hurt and beaten and blasted through walls on a daily basis...how could Tucker be jealous for longer than a month? Like, sure, the powers are cool and all, but Tucker knows better than anyone the cost, the baggage the powers came with, and that it never truly got much easier for Danny.

See I guess I can understand it a bit. One, issues like jealousy and such are rarely logical vices and not exactly something one can help. Two, these kids are 14 which scary and astonishing and it's totally believable to me that a young boy who loves superheroes would want powers himself. Three, and this is the big one to me, Tuck's jealousy is less a comment on Danny and more on how Tucker views himself.

We see over and over that the trio are at the bottom end of the totem pole and get bullied and verbally abused daily. That does things to a kid's self esteem. And then your best bud (also possibly the only one Lower on the social hierarchy not that we're keeping score but shh we kinda are bc thats how teens) gets badass powers overnight and is now a superhero? Tuck has seen up close and personal all the shit Danny goes through as Phantom, he knows bc he's been beside Dan the whole time. Hell, in Kindred Spirits it was outright stated that being the 'support' Tuck and Sam often get the short end of the stick with clean up and damage control while Danny is off fighting. He gets all the stress and tension and danger of ghost fighting without the dope powers.

But its more than the powers, Danny is now somebody. He's powerful and kind and a good leader, he's gonna be a beloved superhero if not Ghost King. Early trip ups or not, Danny now has value to society. Sam is rich and determined and smart, she was always gonna go places. Tucker is feeling not only left out by his only real friends but examining his own worth compared to an OP superhero and wealthy kickass heiress. Tucker cannot see his own value and is viewing himself as the perpetual sidekick, destined at best to be Danny/Sam support and at worst to be deemed unworthy and forgotten while they go onto bigger and better things.

This is all nonsensical bc Sam and Danny adore Tucker and he himself has many amazing qualities but self esteem is hard to reason with, much less with a very young, very stressed child. Now a young, stressed child can't really conceptualize the difficult notion of ones own worth to others/society so it primarily manifests in jealousy over Danny's powers. This feels realistic for Tucker and his age group and I approved. I am mad we didn't get the resolution he deserved which would be Sam/Danny validating Tuck's importance as a person and also giving Tuck a chance to be his own man outside the trio. The throwaway Tucker is Mayor now at the end of PP was an attempt to wrap it all but it was disgusting and we don't talk about that foolishness.

I really liked the idea of Tucker running for Student Council President and taking an active part in the school OUTSIDE of his friends/ghosts. It would have given him a confidence boost, a chance to put his skills (organization, leadership when need be, planning, technology) to use and earn some credits for himself. Plus he could be more of an aid to Phantom by giving his friend some leeway in school with having some authority. That would be the confidence boost he needed but didn't get. But in my mind eventually Tuck/Sam/Danny DO talk about it and Tuck gets some relief and goes on to be successful and happy with his own endeavors while still being a close and integral part of Team Phantom.

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 6)

Last time, we talked about Natsume's growing crush on Mikan. As the festival continues, his feelings will only grow. Today we'll discuss how these new feelings will affect him, and particularly how they have the potential to create tension in his friendship with Ruka.

Chapter Twenty-One

Mikan is guilty for not having already gone to Iinchou’s haunted house in the latent ability class area. So they end up going together. Although Mikan is easily distracted and wants to try everything in the latent area, Natsume is strict on going straight to the destination with no tangents.

Iinchou lets them in right away without having to wait in the hour-long line. Mikan puts on airs about being a country girl and, just like she’s unafraid of bugs, she’s also not afraid of ghosts. Except she totally is.

Ruka and Natsume don’t seem particularly scared of the haunted house so far, but Mikan is, and she clings to Ruka, desperate not to be left behind, even if it means she hurts him with her grasp.

The person who posted these TokyoPop scans forgot a couple pages so for the longest time the beginning of the chapter was so confusing to me...

Natsume looks behind to see them and is jealous, yet again. Just like with Tsubasa, Natsume is unhappy with his fate to be the bad guy in general. He goes out of his way to look bad to protect people and as a result will not be the one clung to. It’s different from Tsubasa though, because this isn’t some nameless middle schooler that Natsume can take his anger out on: this is his best friend, somebody he’s never felt anything but affection for. Natsume doesn’t want to hurt Ruka; he’s just sad that the situation is so messed up.

Lucky for Ruka, Natsume gives up before there can even be a competition.

It’s for the best this way, after all. For Ruka to be happy, for Mikan to be with somebody kind who deserves her, and even for him, because maybe this way Mikan won’t be used against him like everybody else he cares about.

Natsume makes this decision without talking to anybody and before anyone can even figure out that there’s a choice to be made in the first place.

Then they run into a crawling hag and nobody’s immune to the terror that being chased after by that demon brings. All three of them run for it, but they end up in a new spooky room, which freaks Mikan out so much she screams and faints, foaming at the mouth, causing Natsume to fall and twist his ankle and for Ruka’s rabbit to run off. He chases after it, leaving Natsume and Mikan alone. Iinchou breaks whatever causes the electricity to run in the building and now they’re trapped alone in the dark, unable to get out.

Mikan tries to figure out a way for them to escape, but climbing the wall is out of the question since Natsume’s ankle is twisted. He suggests that he blow up the wall, but Mikan is adamantly against that idea because the latent students worked hard to make the mansion. Natsume acquiesces. That’s fine. He doesn’t mind spending more time with her. It just means she’ll have to stay in the dark for longer.

She is very clingy when she’s scared, and although he complains he doesn’t really make any moves to get her off. I mean, why would he? This is exactly what he wanted, though he did only get it because he was the only person around that she could cling to. There’s a moment where he spooks her, perhaps so she would hug him more, but then she whines for him to stop scaring her and the panels are quite sparkly. Natsume is distressed about his new crush and the effect it has on him. Really her whining and puppy-dog eyes are not any less powerful on Natsume than they are on Ruka. He’s just better at hiding it.

He looks at her softly and then has a moment where he looks almost peeved to have felt so fond at all... but it won't last. These days he has more affection for her than irritation.

Mikan tries apologizing about getting angry with him at Anna’s cafe, but he pretends like he has no idea what she’s talking about. To me, this cements that Natsume wants to look bad to her in particular. He doesn’t really want her to figure out that he’s kind deep down or that he’s selfless 99% of the time. He doesn’t want her to think he cares at all because it’s best for him to continue being the same jerk he has been for the past twenty chapters. He’s okay with her hating him, because that way she won’t become the new Ruka, used by the academy as a pawn to get him to jump through more hoops.

She tries to make him smile and that’s another big deal. Most people think Natsume is cool for being so unaffected. His fans think he’s the man, a tough guy who frowns all the time. Even Ruka’s approach to this issue was to stop smiling too.

Mikan’s approach is to tell jokes.

Of course, it doesn’t work, and the jokes aren’t any good, but Mikan is trying something nobody else has done: instead of looking up to him or going down to his level of misery, Mikan’s trying to lift him up. She wants him to smile and be happy and that sets her apart. She’s immature and childish and that brings out the childishness in him too. And like I mentioned a while ago, childishness in Natsume is a good thing. With her, he can bicker and argue and tease like he used to before he came to the academy. She has no idea what he’s going through and her mood changes so quickly she can’t even stay mad or upset. She’s just a joyful and loud girl who rubs off on everyone she meets and Natsume is far from being an exception.

He can just mess around like a kid for once. He doesn't have to be serious around her all the time.

Thus, the next important thing in regards to analyzing their relationship is that the last page of the chapter has him teasing her and then smiling at her reaction. We’ve only seen Natsume smile twice before: with Youichi for a brief moment, and then with Ruka on the cover for Chapter Sixteen (Natsume's evil smile when Mikan gets bullied by middle schoolers doesn't count as a real smile). This officially adds Mikan to the incredibly short list of people who can make Natsume smile. She’s angry with him, arguing, but being able to let go of all his darkness and just tease a girl and have her act with such strong emotions is enough to make him happy. And that’s what this is: Natsume is happy.

Chapter Twenty-Three

The musical creates some tension between Natsume and Ruka, as expected, because liking the same girl can make rifts between friends. On the other hand, this isn’t your typical love triangle. Usually in love triangles, the two guys are already positioned against each other. Though Natsume and Ruka may be opposites in many ways, they are not rivals at all. They love each other, and that love is not at all damaged by the conflict of falling for the same girl; it just becomes tense between them.

In fact, the beginning of the chapter has some Class B pals eagerly going backstage to find Ruka before the somatic ability class musical. When they find him, Natsume is the only one to not laugh at or tease him, and seems to be the only one really concerned with Ruka’s feelings about being cast as Snow White.

When the sticky ball incident occurs, there’s a lot more damage done than there is in the anime. In the anime, some cast and crew get stuck, but ultimately nobody was in any real danger of being hurt. In the manga, there were potentially catastrophic consequences for the blast and a lot of equipment got damaged in the process. A somatic child playing one of the seven dwarves is about to be hit by a stagelight when Natsume rushes to get him out of the way, resulting in them getting stuck together. If Natsume hadn’t stepped in, that kid could have gotten really injured, at least.

As a result of Natsume’s heroism, Narumi suggests that he dress up as a forest friend. When Natsume refuses, the child is to be kicked out of the play, and the seven dwarves will be changed to six. Natsume sees the kid pout and with absolutely no more need for convincing he goes to get changed into a cat outfit.

This is noteworthy because the cat outfit is humiliating (not that Natsume hasn’t worn similar things in official art… just saying) and it’s something he truly does not want to do, but he does it, even though he doesn’t even know the kid. It’s some random somatic kid, not Ruka or Youichi or even Mikan, and yet he goes out of his way to do something truly selfless so that the kid can perform what he’s practiced. Natsume is kind in quiet ways, and not just with the people he cares about. Like with Anna, Natsume puts the needs of someone he isn’t close to in front of his own reputation.

Now, Natsume is in a horrible mood, embarrassed to be seen in the costume, and Ruka is confused why he’d even bother, until he sees the smile on the little kid and everything snaps into place for him. Mikan is a very intuitive and emotional girl who can sense things about all sorts of people, but when it comes to Natsume, nobody knows him better than Ruka, who can tell right away the motives for any of his actions.

I work at a restaurant and kids Natsume's age will be like, "I don't want a kids' menu" and act all grown up and then see how big the adult portions are, so they end up eating the Cub Pancake anyway LMAO. Do you want extra whipped cream and chocolate chips, Natsume?

Onto the actual NatsuMikan portion of this analysis, at long last, Mikan is overjoyed to see how adorable he is in his costume and she is the only one who won’t hold back from saying so because she’s not scared of him. I’ve seen someone complaining that Natsume says “Don’t call men cute,” but I always found that line funny because Natsume is a literal ten-year-old boy… He is not a man at all. It’s the sort of thing you’d expect a kid to say, especially one who wants to be a grown-up as soon as possible, which makes the line endearing to me, but that’s my personal feelings about it. (Like the above caption, I find it very amusing when little kids pretend they're all grown up.)

Anyway, Natsume is as much an idiot as he is in the anime, volunteering Mikan to be the prince, even using one of his three wishes to make it happen. This is all motivated by his feelings of humiliation, and he’s taking it out on her, arguing that he doesn’t want to wear the outfit for no reason so the show has to go on no matter the cost--but this will bite him in the ass sooner rather than later.

Chapter Twenty-Four

The chapter begins and Mikan is very nervous about playing the prince, particularly about looking the part as she is very uncomfortable with her hair down.

This is actually the first time we see Natsume’s feelings about it, but he’ll only make it more clear in about ten more chapters. Here, Mikan wonders if she should put her hair back up and Natsume snaps, “No!” before walking away in a huff. It’s a small scene, and it’s even told through tiny text, but it’s enough to let any reader paying attention know that Natsume also thinks Mikan looks cute with her hair down. Yes, he’s embarrassed to have said anything, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t say it.

Don't worry about him, he's just in a bad mood.

Natsume mainly observes, and nothing noteworthy happens. He eventually goes and gives his line and his aura alone is threatening enough to discourage anyone from laughing or “aww”ing.

The next important moment is when Mikan sees the stage direction to kiss the princess directly on the lips. Narumi says it’s because he’s trying to make up for the loss of sizzle due to the accident, but knowing him, there’s probably more to it. Naru likes stirring the pot and causing drama, although I can hardly tell what his motives are half the time. Truly, I believe he is the most mysterious character in the whole story.

Natsume does not allow this to happen, so he throws something at Mikan’s head--some random box thing--and Hotaru shuts off the lights.

Natsume does something kind of selfish here. He didn’t want them to kiss, so he stopped it. The fact that he grabbed the first thing he saw meant it was a sudden choice to chuck it. I wonder if he had any intentions of just toughing it out and dealing with it, but eventually jealousy won out and he did the selfish thing.

When I say selfish, I don’t mean “bad”. I just mean that for once Natsume is acting based on what he wants, rather than what will make somebody else happy. When it comes to this kid in particular, I actually want him to do selfish things more often, because he very rarely does. He’s been selfless and heroic enough for one day, having saved a kid from getting injured and then wearing that embarrassing costume. He’s allowed to have done this one thing for selfish reasons.

It’s not like it was a bad thing to do either. It would have only benefited Narumi, and possibly the somatic class to have a spicy musical kiss, but it wouldn’t have been good for Ruka or Mikan. Having their first kiss under such conditions, especially when Mikan was just doing the class a favor by acting in the play to begin with, would have been sad. Natsume essentially saved her from the consequences of his own actions, because it would have been his fault if they’d had no choice but to go through with it.

Moreover, like I said earlier, Ruka can simply tell what Natsume’s motives are from a single look. It’s more obvious in the anime, of course, but I still think manga!Ruka is aware that Natsume intervened. He knows Natsume better than anybody, and he’s too smart to think that box came out of nowhere.

This is just the beginning of a long-standing tension between them, one that they will dance around and pretend isn’t happening for quite a while before actually addressing it properly. For now, they have undiscussed feelings and jealousies that will go unchecked and unresolved for some time, building an even deeper divide between them. After all, Natsume and Ruka have enough of a gap on account of Natsume’s missions and his general feelings of not being able to fit in with anybody. This only broadens the gap.

Chapter Twenty-Six

The dance will be very fun to analyze from Mikan’s perspective, but we’re not nearly finished with Natsume’s, so that will have to wait.

For now, we’ll discuss Natsume’s softening, which Permy points out bitterly on account of being surrounded by closet fans. Previously, she says, they were terrified of him, and why wouldn’t they be? We talked ad nauseam about Natsume’s first thirteen chapters of misery and coldness. He was a scary and unkind guy, definitely unapproachable. Even his admirers in Class B were scared of him, equal parts affection and terror. In a very short time, Natsume has softened and it’s obvious. He even dressed as a cat for the somatic musical! His reputation for being cold and dangerous is softening and the girls who used to fear him are now flocking to him to ask if he’s willing to accept their last dance proposals.

But with all this talk about romance and dancing, Mikan feels left out and can’t relate. Her frustrations only grow when some girls start gossiping about her and she ends up taking it out on Natsume, saying she would never ever wanna dance with Natsume for the last dance. He brushes this off, but he still pouts, obviously affected and a little hurt. Their relationship was on the rise, after all. They were starting to hang out more and were bickering often, something Natsume doesn’t make a habit of doing with most people. But just because Natsume is feeling more fondness for her, that doesn't mean she feels the same way.

He expects this in some way, of course, because it's partially his intention. He expects that she would only tolerate him after everything that happened with them, but that doesn't mean he likes the feeling of rejection.

They're so cute when they pout!

Having a crush is bad enough, but hearing that girl shout that she’d never wanna go out with you is even harder, even if you were maybe purposefully making her angry with you to try and protect her. It would be a tough emotion to bear, especially for a kid unversed in romance. He proceeds to be just as huffy as her.

And as twisted as it is, I’m happy for him.

Natsume was cold and mean and difficult to talk to before he fell for Mikan. Now he’s way more approachable and expressive, willing on occasion to show an emotion that isn’t rage, like hurt or grumpiness or amusement. He can now sit at his desk and pout, something he wasn’t doing before, like a kid throwing a fit.

At the actual dance, Natsume is still hurt, still pouting. It doesn’t help that Mikan glares at him upon spotting him. It’s interesting to see how much this affects him. One girl said something harsh in the heat of the moment and he is taking it so personally. Of course, he gets hurt or angered by many things. Upperclassmen bully him and call him a murderer and he simply uses his alice on them to shut them up. He keeps his face straight, moves on, and forgets it. Naturally, the hurt and resentment sit there in his gut to torment him, because he’s a kid and they’re awful things for anyone to hear, but he’s not acting like that here. Here, he’s grumpy and pouty. His feelings are hurt but they don’t come with urges to punish like being called a murderer does.

And it’s obvious he has no genuine hard feelings because Natsume then shoves Ruka onto Mikan, since Ruka was being transparent about his gaze. He goes on to dance with someone else, anyone else, because Mikan made it clear that she too would rather dance with anyone else, just as long as it wasn’t him. He’s clearly still in a bad mood, though.

He's so used to not getting what he wants that he will do all of Ruka's work for him, so that Ruka can get what he wants.

Later, when Mikan and Natsume are singletons in the middle of the dance floor, they notice each other. Here would be a perfect opportunity to dance, but she made it clear she hated the idea, and he’s not about to embarrass himself to ask. Hence, he huffs again, pouting because there’s no way he’ll ask her to dance once she’s said such harsh things. They stand in silence for just a moment, until he finds some other girl to dance with and leaves Mikan all alone.

They’re both grumpy over the way they’re being treated by the other. Natsume is being immature and petty with his feelings, almost childish (heehee it's all I want for him!). With all the dark and depressing divide between Mikan’s academy life of fun and laughs and Natsume’s life of secret missions and physical abuse, he’s somehow found a way to wedge himself into hers. He’s taking something so minor so seriously. He’s been on the front lines, used his alice to hurt enemies and been hurt by enemies and dangerous ability types alike. He is literally dying and he’s aware of it! But he’s still pouting because the girl he likes was a little mean to him.

But the dance with the girl obviously wasn’t much fun, because Mikan quickly finds him again, away from the party, along a secluded path by some trees. He’s in a pouty mood and obviously needs some time alone with his thoughts.

It shows that he’s done some thinking because he doesn’t even mention her angry words from earlier.

Instead, he just calls the whole festival stupid.

We’re reminded here of a scene from way before they liked each other, when the festival was first announced. Then, she also found him playing with a dog, all on his own, using anger to mask his feelings of hurt. He said the same thing back then, that the whole thing was stupid and it was dumb to get all worked up about it. He’s doing it again now, but it’s a little different this time. Their relationship has changed, improved. They actually care about each other now, and although Natsume starts off just talking through his anger, he eventually turns honest.

The truth is that these periods of childishness will always have to end. It’s just an extended version of the dodgeball game. No matter how much emotion he puts into these experiences, they will be overshadowed by his real life. Now matter how much fun he has, he will always have to stop smiling and go kill himself on Persona’s orders. And even more honestly, the more fun he has, the harder it will be on the people he has fun with. It’s not enough for the ESP and Persona that Natsume completes his missions and does all his work; they find pleasure and relief in his constant misery. The second he cares about something, they use it against him. His joy is never meant to last and will always have consequences for the people he loves.

I hate tumblr's 10 image limit. I hate it. I despise it. I abhor it. I cannot come up with a caption. So instead I'll say again. I hate the 10 image limit.

And so he explains, for once, that he’s simply different from everyone else. The festival is something that doesn’t belong to him. He’s merely been an observer this whole time. He’s never actually been a part of it. And then he tells her that she should stay in the light, stay out of the dark. He calls her naive, but it’s not as much an insult as it used to be.

She is childish and loud and optimistic and annoying and a little sweet and even though he hated all these things about her before, he now realizes that these traits are things to be protected. The more she mingles with him, the darker her life will be. After all, her light is not the only thing that’s contagious: his darkness rubs off on people too, and in his mind it will only hurt her to be involved with him. She should stay in the light--in the shiny, sparkly side of the manga, where everyone is concerned with sports and coming up with ideas for the festival--and keep out of the dark--where there’s murder and blackmail and danger and death. It’s bad enough he can’t keep Youichi or Ruka out of it: Youichi is already in the DA class and Ruka came running after him. He can’t distance himself from them. The most he can do is protect them and raise their star ranks or keep them off of dangerous missions. But with Mikan he has a chance to really protect her, prevent her from being used against him at all. Ideally, she’ll stay away and he won’t need to worry about her as much.

And he wants her to be safe and gone, so when she asks what he means, he changes tactics and decides to be rude and mean instead, telling her to get lost and insulting her. She gets angry and it almost seems like it’ll be another bickering match, where they will both be childish and hurl insults at each other, but he doesn’t take that path.

She is complaining about how he doesn’t seem to know that she has a name, thank you very much--and then he calls her Mikan. He concedes to her demands. He does what he perceives to be the mature, adult thing, ending the argument so she will leave for good. When she has nothing left to argue about, she will have no choice but to walk away, and she does, once he makes it clear that his last command is for her to stop complaining about what he calls her.

Natsume chooses to do the selfless thing again, and gives up the first thing in a long time that made him happy. He barely had any time with her at all, but he lets her go, because she can only continue to be sunny and cheerful away from him. He’s giving up before anyone can tell that something was around for him to give up.

He has no idea how much one word has affected her.

Conclusion

Natsume is a selfless kid. He gives up on what he wants very easily, but especially because he knows that the second he gets what he wants, those things could be destroyed, just by association with him. He just wants the people he loves to be happy, even if it means he could never be.

In the next segment, we'll talk about what Natsume is willing to do to protect Mikan, even if it means being cruel and hurting her. NatsuMikan is the living embodiment of the "break her heart to save her" trope, and I very much adore that trope with my whole heart, so we're going to be having a LOT of fun with the next essay!

Also, disclaimer: I'm not smart. I refuse to take responsibility for any mistakes I make in these essays. There also are no mistakes. I've never misspelled a word in my life.

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[slasherholic]

DBD Survivor!Michael headcanons (except he’s the exact same murderous bastard and absolutely nothing is different)

This isn’t even an AU, it’s just a silly “what-if” scenario that’s been stuck in my brain asdfgh

● Entity Very Displeased. Here’s the thing when it comes to Myers—he’s such a ruthlessly efficient hunter that the Entity is willing to give him free rein over his trials (more or less). A few hook sacrifices here and there is all it asks for, and Michael is free to stab, strangle and suffocate the rest. By all means, a solid compromise. There’s just one little issue: Michael is Michael. Hooks? Boy never heard of ‘em. The most gratifying moment of the hunt comes when he watches the life fade from that squirming, squealing body in his hands, and no disembodied-spider-leg-god is going to take that pleasure away from him.

● What’s a malevolent deity to do? When torture gentle persuasion does nothing to heighten The Shape’s willingness to plop those damn survivors on its hooks, The Entity has an idea. An awful idea. The Entity has a wonderful, awful idea: if it denies The Shape the satisfaction of the hunt, then that stubborn brat might just fall in line with its agenda. In other words, if you won’t hook ‘em, Myers, you can join ‘em.

● Oh no, he’s hot! The survivors trickle in one by one from their trials to discover a fresh face waiting for them at the campfire, and boy, is it a pretty one. Slumped with his curly head of hair propped against a log, dozing peacefully, the unconscious twenty-something-year-old looks almost angelic—scars and all. Alright alright, give him space! He’s coming back to it!

● Aaaand it’s a massacre! Who could have ever guessed that upon waking to find his usual prey served up to him on a silver platter, The Shape would attempt to terrorize, chase and strangle them all? Among the victims are Nea, Ace, Kate, and Michael’s nose—courtesy of David’s right hook. The slaughter gets Michael promptly banished from the campfire.

● Anti-Sea-Bear-Circle needed. Thanks to a bit of Entity interference, a line in the dirt is drawn that Michael is unable to cross. (Much like the exit gates!) While the circle puts a temporary end to Big Bastard’s reign of terror, the survivors can still feel his eyes on their necks as he lurks like a panther in the treeline, watching them from just beyond the reach of the light…

● It’s a lot for everyone to handle, but especially Laurie. Myers has had his hands on her countless times in this realm, and while her fear of him has grown, so has her resentment. She liked it better when she could imagine the thing who took away her friends as a faceless, mindless monster, with empty black pits for eyes, and not the ruthlessly human ones she can feel on the back of her neck right now.

● Laurie entertains a fantasy. It is a fantasy of standing from the campfire, of walking up to the border keeping her monster out, of putting her toes on the line, of staring at him with all her rage and hatred and anguish; of looking her monster in the face, and refusing to blink first. Maybe she will, she tells herself. Just as soon as the tears stop coming.

● No end to the misbehaving in sight. Unsurprisingly, Michael continues to fail miserably at not being a murderous bastard. His first trial is cut tragically short when he abandons the objective in favor of stalking and strangling Dwight (much to Amanda’s confusion, who had been crouching in the grass nearby. “Who is that sexy new piece of ass and why is he doing my job for me?”)

● But the Entity has a solution! For every attempted murder of his teammates, Michael earns himself a swift eviction from the trial by way of spider-appendage through the gut. Surely he’ll learn his lesson now, right? ...Right?

● Good one! Pain of death is absolutely not a deterrent to The Shape, not when he knows how fleeting death is in this realm. Michael’s second trial ends the exact same way as the first. So does the third. And the fourth. And then The Entity stops counting.

● It works eventually, but not really. Michael finds plenty of other ways to bully his team that aren’t murder. Such as:

Yoinking people off of generators

Yoinking people out of lockers

Trapping people in corners to do nothing more than stare at them and breathe

Facecamping his own hooked teammates

Dropping god pallet

Dropping every pallet (because watching his team run to the places where pallets should be only to find them already used is peak entertainment.)

Being a nuisance from afar (“He’s just standing there… menacingly!”)

Refusing to fast vault windows, leading to many sandbaggings.

Tricking Claudette into thinking he’d let her patch up his wounds, only to nab her when she got too close and hold her captive in his arms for the remainder of the trial.

Stomping on hatch when Ace opened it with a key.

● Even the killers are bullied. Despite the absence of his Entity-steroids, Michael is still ungodly strong. While he couldn’t take on Evan, (although he certainly tried, and suffice it to say nobody came to save his sorry ass when he got hooked) he immediately became Legion’s worst nightmare. Frank tried to stab him; Frank got mori’d with his own shiv. Susie cried when Michael pounced on her in the basement. Joey and Julie picked up on The Shape’s ambush tactics and learned to watch their backs, but the paranoia cost them trial after trial. Honestly, what on earth was The Entity thinking? 

● A lesson learned, but not by Michael… Controlling Michael takes far more effort than it is worth, and luckily for everyone’s sanity, The Entity wises up to that fact quickly. Michael is restored to his former role. The survivors are glad to be rid of their horrible useless bully of a teammate, and The Entity is glad to have its most dedicated killer back. Carry on, you evil, stubborn bastard… carry on.

[chibimyumi]

Hi, I hope you're doing well and staying healthy. I've read your post about how Elizabeth attacking ciel is sexism. What about Sebastian getting bully by Frances? Frances is a noblewoman grabbing a servant's hair in front of other people. And fans (including me) are like: oh! What a lioness! Even the devil himself is terrified of her! what if it was the other way around? The idea of a nobleman grabbing a governess's hair calling her nasty and indecent makes me uncomfortable and even angry.

【Response to post: Sexism against men and Kuro Sexist jokes】

Dear Anon,

I’m doing well, thank you very much. I hope you too ^^

Your question is a very good one, and it really had me thinking for a while! I myself admittedly do laugh very hard at Sebastian getting a hard time from Frances. But indeed, like you said, it is still bullying, and bullying is bad. In this post-feminist era, we have been so trained to see women bullying men as ‘funny’ or ‘empowering’, but women getting bullied as unambiguously bad instinctively, that sometimes we forget to check our double standards.

Feelings are feelings, we can’t help what we feel. But how come then that to many of us, Frances bullying Sebas is so funny, but Lizzie almost murdering O!Ciel and Nina bullying men not? This post is merely an attempt to explain this feeling for myself too, but hopefully we can all reach SOME explanation together as well???

Let us first look at in what ways Frances has been making Sebastian’s life hard. From all the interactions we have of these two so far, her main points of criticism seem to be his hair and his lack of professionalism.

Slovenly Hair

Sebastian’s hair is something we’ve gotten quite used to now after more than14 years. In Sebastian’s time however, his hair really would have been the height of impropriety for his profession.

Just like I translated O!Ciel’s looks to 2020 standards, I quickly translated Sebas’ hair to 2020 standards as well. Very clean, innit?! Very professional, innit?!

Even without the translation however, if we look at the worst of wigs from the Kuromyus, we can also see how Sebastian’s hair would be atrocious in any formal setting. Look past the fact that these actors are supposed to represent a drawn character. Just imagine being in a fancy restaurant and encountering a dead-spider feather duster on your waiter’s head.... erm....???

Something that is objectively bad on Frances’ end however, is that chapter 14 is not the first time that Frances has seen his ‘slovenly hair’. If his hair really is so unacceptable, as an authority figure Frances has the right to say something about it. However, as it seems, until this point she has never communicated at all (no, “hinting” is not the same as communicating), so Sebas had no way of knowing what he “did wrong”. She immediately grabbed for Sebastian’s hair without mercy, probably because her crept up frustration got the better of her. This is indeed entirely too harsh for a first time call-out, and entirely on Frances.

Much later in the story Frances criticises and touches Sebastian’s hair again, and this time in public while he was infiltrating as a teacher. Here Frances is even publically humiliating Sebastian in front of his students and other high ranking guests.

Especially when you keep in mind that Frances is a noblewoman and Sebas a mere servant, Frances is indeed abusing her power against a servant who cannot strike back at all.

This is indeed power play. However, though it does not justify anything, in the very least her criticism does have ground; Sebas’ hair is by all measures inadequate for any professional setting. Just be nicer about it, Frances.

Useless Butler

Now, let us look at the other reason Frances disapproves of Sebas. Sebastian is a very competent butler according to most people. To Frances however, this claim is empty. When she arrives, parts of the estate have been destroyed and something very literally exploded in her presence.

Even though Sebas is not the person actively causing the explosion or the destruction, as the senior servant of the household, it is literally his job to manage the other servants. So yes, here too, the fact that things can be destroyed in the household because he either hired inadequate staff or because he mismanages his household, DOES INDEED prove he fails at his job. As the aunt of O!Ciel who cares about her nephew AND her paternal home, Frances is in her right to be concerned and call Sebastian out for NOT doing his job.

In chapter 14, Sebastian’s schedule was all over the place and kept changing the plans for Frances. It is no wonder that she would be quite annoyed and doubt Sebastian’s adequateness. When you know your 13 year old nephew’s household is in the hands of somebody so apparently inadequate, anybody would probably be concerned. However annoyed though, Frances does not overstep any boundaries about this specific issue; she is simply supremely unimpressed. Fair enough?

Compliments where due

Something that is quite interesting though, is that despite disapproving of Sebastian, Frances does also know when to compliment him when due. After Sebastian has saved Lizzie’s life without boasting, Frances recognised how the butler does indeed have some value and the correct attitude as a servant.

She says “though you look indecent what you say is true,” and it is yet another jab at the demon’s expense. But here she is also showing that she is willing to acknowledge somebody’s achievements, looking past appearances.

Before Frances leaves, Frances jabs at Sebas a bit again, but she really is not doing anything dickish this time. Instead of making Sebas think she’s simply chosen him as target to be a prick towards, she concretely states why she doubts his professionalism. She mentions the smashed tea set, bare garden and burnt food; mistakes that are objectively unacceptable. Instead of yelling at him, she actually gives him constructive criticism. So here too, Frances is quite stern, but her grounds are solid.

In the Campania arc Sebas shows up again with the hair Frances disapproved of. Frances clearly wants to do something about it again because in her eyes, the butler simply won’t learn. But given the circumstances and Sebastian’s proven usefulness, Frances actually does shelve her agenda. Just like above, here too Frances shows that she is capable of acknowledging somebody despite their looks.

Later when the zombies dramatically outnumbered the living humans, Frances sends Sebas - who had come to her aid - back to her daughter and nephew. By sending Sebas back, Frances also shows that she in fact trusts this ‘slovenly butler’ with the lives of two children she loves deeply. Sebastian protests, but Frances immediately replies: “don’t you trust our ability as swordsmen?” Here what Frances is functionally saying is: “I trust you with your abilities, so you can trust us back.”

In short, Frances is harsh and doing power-play against a servant, but she can shelve her agenda, and does acknowledge Sebas when due.

Contrast to Nina and Lizzie

So now we have seen how Frances bullies Sebastian, and her motivation behind all her points of harshness. As we have seen, Frances’ only points of criticisms are concrete ones; Sebastian’s lack of professionalism in looks, and his lack of professionalism in management. She goes about them too harshly, but all points are legit criticisms, and something Sebas CAN and probably SHOULD work to improve.

Nina

This is in stark contrast with the way Nina bullies her victims. As far as we have seen, none of Nina’s victims have offended her in any way, nor does she ever give any concrete criticism. She has just decided that because men are men, they don’t deserve proper treatment. Even when providing clothes for men is literally part her job, she refuses to provide the ‘professional service’ she is being paid for. And because she is AN EMANCIPATED LESBIAN!!!!!!! #FEMINISM, it’s FINE (!?!?!?)

Unlike with Frances’ criticism of Sebastian’s inadequate hairdo and managing, being ‘men’ is not something any of these men can do anything about (except Sebas, but Nina doesn’t know). Bullying is always wrong, always low. But it’s EVEN lower when you bully somebody for who they are, and not what they do wrong. What does not help is that Nina seems to only be capable of treating people nicely if they happen to be sexuality-wise compatible with her... but if you are, you’ll get molested. What is wrong with you, Nina????

Yes, Frances is saying: “you are a man, and yet your fringe is so long”. So on the most surface level, it is a woman saying this to a man because he is a man. As we later get to know Frances a bit better though, she would be harsh to anybody who looks slovenly. She just has different hairstyles which she considers appropriate for men and women respectively. Had Sebas been a woman and his hair was the ‘feminine equivalent of slovenly’, Frances would most likely have acted exactly the same. So in this sense, unlike with the jokes using Nina and Lizzie, it is not purely: “Haha, girl bullies boii, lol.”

Something else that is terrible is that what Nina does seems to be systemic. Logically it checks out too; it can’t be that only since the past few weeks she’s decided only women and young boys deserve her kind treatment. For all we know, Nina’s been treating the male Phantomhive staff like this for 2-3 years. Sebastian’s comment about Nina thoroughly ignoring men again with “as always” further supports this theory.

With Frances in contrast, in chapter 14 (so barely a year ago in story time), Sebas seemed to have no clue whatsoever about Frances’ terrors. Sebas announced Frances’ arrival to his master and is very calm about it. It was not until O!Ciel alerted Sebas about his aunt that anybody even guessed what hurricane was headed for them. As such, we can safely conclude that Sebas had only been subjected to Frances’ criticism a couple of times, unlike having had to bear with Nina for years.

Yes, Frances still should have communicated, but I already addressed the details above. Still, the point remains that even though Frances is overstepping boundaries and abusing her power, her criticisms are at least not empty.

Lizzie

Lizzie too just like Nina, had zero grounds for showing that much aggression. She did not give anybody the benefit of the doubt, did not communicate, or even so much as give O!Ciel any chance to explain the situation. So far O!Ciel has given Lizzie no reason to think he’d cheat on her, and yet she hurled so much aggression at him Sebas had to intervene.

Still, Lizzie is marginally better than Nina because she is not systemically bullying O!Ciel. It is a one time event. However, this one makes me more annoyed with Yana because it means that even Yana had to use this stale, stale trope of “LOVE TRIANGLE COMEDYYYY”. Have I ever mentioned how MUCH I hate love triangles and jealousy???

Conclusion

Feeling wise, the most important reason for why Sebas being bullied by Frances is funny is probably because of who Sebas is. Sebas is otherwise an all-powerful demon, but to see him inventing colours to shit at Frances - a human Sebas could crush between his fingertips like a cookie - is just hilarious. Had Sebas been a human though, I would not have laughed so hard personally.

Rationally however, Frances is doing power play against a servant who cannot talk back, so it is still bullying, and bullying is inexcusable.The only bit of “right” Frances has is that she does not seem to be systemically bullying Sebastian, and that her criticisms have some ground.

So if Nina and Lizzie’s behaviours played for jokes are like... a -7 and -9 respectively, Frances’ at least scores a -2 for me?

(Yes, as we’re talking about bullying anyway, I just have to make a jab at Vincent.)

Afterword

Something not really related to why “Frances:Bad”, “Nina-Lizzie:Worse”, but I do wish to mention is Yana’s improved drawing skills. I have no proof, but I think it MIGHT have been where this Frances-joke originated.

Yana’s time in the more traditional mindset of manga-worldview really showed, especially at the far beginning. Besides, she was still in the process of finding a way to draw handsome men. In the more traditional mindset of the early 2000s, handsome men were just not supposed to have slicked back hair - “that was reserved for old men and nasty dudes!!” Yana’s discomfort with drawing handsome men with slicked back hair was clearly visible in Sebastian’s early appearances, and making the ‘”hair, back!!! says old-fashioned lady” was potentially even a way of Yana to laugh at herself.

I don’t know who else is old like me and grew up with 80s to early 00s manga, but at the time, hair for handsome men was a BIG deal. In that world ‘slicked back hair’ just carried a certain laughability about it; a “rule of not-cool”. To me at least at the time this ‘laughability’ really resonated with me, and Yana probably also trusted this same ‘unspoken rule’ to resonate with her audiences.

Much later though, Yana clearly grew more comfortable and  maybe even fond of slicked back hairstyles as she confidently chose to portray Sebas as ‘appealing’ while wearing his hair in the style Yana previously disliked.

Again, I have no proof, but I can’t help but think that if Kuro had started 10 years later, the running gag revolving Frances might look altogether different.

What do you guys think? ^^ Cheers, and stay healthy!

Character analysis Nina Hopkins

Character analysis Vincent Phantomhive

Sexism against men and Kuro’s sexist jokes

MASTERPOST Gender in Kuroshitsuji

MASTERPOST Analyses & Info

[thatasianstereotype]

Damn, You’re Looking Fine.

To my utter delight, my crack writing Fuck. I’m Gay. got a good reception. I was not expecting to write more for this AU/pairing. But why not? I got some ideas and a computer to write them down on.

So this fic is the took-a-while-to-put-together sequel. It’s focused on the downfall of one certain Liar-la, Damian wooing Adrien with all the flair and romantics as his Chaton deserves, and Adrien being a blushing hot gay mess. 

P.S. Damian’s formal way of talking is an utter pain to write but hilarious to read.

P.S.S. Creative liberties were taken. Again. I just feel this needs to be mentioned. 

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So Status Update:

Adrien and Damian are definitely dating (It is totally official. Told you ya boi got game).

Adrien still calls him Hot-And-Sexy from time to time much to his utter mortification (He can’t make himself stop. Please send help). And Dami gets amused by it every single time, that arrogant smug jerk.

Marinette still puts the fear of god in Damian and he is wary of her. She feels very proud about that. Adrien wants to facepalm.

Fuck Gabriel Agreste.  

And Lila Rossi is still a bitch.  

Adrien and Marinette were made aware about Damian’s alter ego —well mostly because he is utterly terrified of Marinette’s seemingly sweet (icy) smile she gave him when she politely asked how he obtained the Butterfly and Peacock Miraculous and partly because of Adrien’s pouting kitten eyes. 

They truly were a pair to reckon with. 

.

“I am not sure why the Justice League dismissed your concerns and pleas for assistance. So I am taking the initiative. My name is Damian Wayne, the son of Batman and the current Robin and leader of the Teen Titans.”

He’s a superhero too?! And it’s Robin!!! One of his favorites!! Can you hear him internally squealing in excitement?

Adrien bit his lip to keep from fanboying right then and there. But a slight pink hue spread across his face. 

“You’re not lying.” Mari has gotten pretty good at deciphering through people’s bullshit. Whether it’s because she is now a Guardian or because Lila’s bitchiness made her a human lie-detector remains unknown.

Damian took it in stride. “I am not.”

“Paris is still our city.”

“I am only offering my assistance.” He won’t barge in on their superhero duties to the city. He has more class than that.

Mari didn’t have to look at Adrien to know his decision.

She smiled, a bright genuine smile. “Then we’re allies.” Before her eyes gained a spark of mischief and her smile turned teasing. “Hot-And-Sexy.” 

“Marinette!” Adrien immediately covered his blushing bright red face with both hands, utterly mortified. 

His sister was evil. E. V. I. L. And why is Damian smirking and looking so smug? Fuck! He even makes that look completely hot. Curse his Adonis genes. And curse his teenage hormones. 

He regrets introducing the two of them together. What a pair they make. Truly a couple of fur-midable terrors here. 

.

Back to the matter at hand, Marinette is able to ensure that Hawk Moth and Mayura will never be out again and another akuma won’t be made. She already made sure that the miraculous were better protected. 

Damian has enough evidence to put them behind bars for their crimes but Marinette wanted to go through it and make sure that Adrien won’t suffer the repercussions of having a villain for a dad so they held onto it until they figure out how best to protect their sunshine. 

.

Ah Shit. 

“Duusu? Where are you?” 

Did Gabriel lose the miraculous again? 

But when he looked into the last place he left it, he groaned. Fuck. His brooch was a fake again.

He knew he shouldn’t have made a miraculous fashion line and had replicas of the miraculous jewelries made. It was his most popular items to date. He has gotten lot of praises for getting the details just right and capturing the essence of each miraculous holder. No surprise there. He deals with them on a daily basis. He should get the details fucking right. 

It’s a wonder he only came up with a line because there was talk that he was becoming obsolete with no new ideas coming forth and if there is one thing that Gabriel Agreste isn’t, it is being obsolete. 

The line was just a joke, a parody of the heroes and villains if you will, but apparently people like it. Ladybug and Chat Noir were the most popular obviously (he should’ve seen that coming to be honest). Hardly anyone buys Hawk Moth or Mayura and he is left with boxes of fake brooches. 

It is annoying.

Especially since he keeps fucking misplacing his miraculous. 

.

Adrien felt like he could be a Disney princess and just skip his way to school and sing for the world to hear. 

Now that the Butterfly miraculous were safely with Marinette, he doesn’t have to worry about another akuma. He could just die happy right now. His dad doesn’t have a hold over him anymore. He doesn’t have to put up with Liar-la anymore. But if they put up a fuss? Well, worst case scenario is he becomes a Dupain-Cheng. 

And he doesn’t mind. He’s already an honorary one. 

And if that somehow doesn’t work out (which he highly doubts), Damian offered to make him a Wayne. 

.

Françoise Dupont High School experienced a shock that morning. Specifically Ms. Bustier’s class. 

When they saw Adrien and Marinette walking in class with arms intertwined, laughing and smiling together. 

What the actual fuck?

Did they cross into an alternate universe? Marinette is a nasty bully and Adrien’s a pure sunshine child. Why would they be acting like they were the best of friends? 

Lila glowered darkly when she saw them walking towards the back and sitting at the same table. Didn’t Adrien care about what his father thinks? Doesn’t he want to still be able to go to school? 

She bit her lip and turned on the waterworks, her eyes close to bursting into tears. She made herself be the very picture of a pitiful woe-is-me victim as she cried out in a hurtful and betrayed tone. “Adrien, what are you doing with her? I thought we were close friends.” 

The sheep class instantly catered to Lila, pointing their fingers at the pair. 

Alya, her biggest supporter, led the charge as always. “Adrien! What do you have to say for yourself? How could you cheat on Lila like this? And with her?” 

Adrien narrowed his eyes at his former friend. Bitch, how dare she implies he was in an actual relationship and had feelings for that harlot. 

Wow. 

He has been spending way too much time around Damian. 

"Yeah, bro!” Kim said, raising his voice. “How could you do her dirty?” 

“Okay guys.” Adrien cut in. “I don’t know where you heard that but me and Lila are not dating. Like at all.” 

“Please.”Alya waved him off like he didn’t know what he was talking about (he was highly offended at the notion he didn’t know what his heart yearns for). “We all know you have feelings for Lila. You’re just in denial over them.”

Bitch, what?

Is no one catching onto his chaotic gay vibes here?  

And oh, how his fragile little heart was betrayed yet again when he saw Nino supporting his girlfriend. He still couldn’t believe the first friend he made all by himself was a part of their rabid pack. He deeply mourned the loss of such a great friend in the midst of that deceiving fox’s claws. 

“How many times do I need to say it?” At this point, Adrien was about to throw hands. “I don’t like Lila like that. I feel nothing but pure spite for her. Also, me and Marinette are not dating if anyone’s wondering. We’re just really good friends.”

“But Marinette’s a big bully.” Alix piped up, a hard edge in her voice. “She treats Lila horribly.”

“Marinette didn’t do anything to her. Rossi is lying.” 

“Oh Adrien.” It was Mylene of all people who spoke up. “Did Marinette get to you with her lies?” 

He was done. 

Completely and utterly done. 

He looked over at Marinette who shared his exasperation at the class’ antics. 

Adrien already said it before. But it bears repeating.

Lila Rossi is a bitch.

Luckily (or maybe unluckily), that was the moment Ms. Bustier chose to step in the room and class started. 

When the teacher’s back was turned, Adrien pulled out his phone and proceeded to spend the rest of the time alternating between taking notes and texting with Damian. 

They were currently at the stage of their relationship to be sending animal pics and memes back and forth, with a few puns added from time to time. 

He really does have the perfect boyfriend. 

.

They cornered him after school. 

One: Rude. 

And two: Double rude. 

He was excited to meet Hot-And-Sexy (daMn iT! It’s Damian! Get it right brain) at the bakery and spending time with his two most favorite people in the world (Tom and Sabine don’t count because actual parents don’t have a ranking). 

His former friends were looking all concerned and everything because they somehow collectively came up with the idea that Marinette actually brainwashed him to believe Lila was evil. 

The fucking irony. 

They actually had the audacity to say that Marinette —sweet and honestly badass Marinette— was no good and just wanted to use Adrien to get ahead in the fashion industry (as if Mari actually needed him for that). He shouldn’t be around her. Lila was a much better person to keep as company. 

Adrien laughed in their faces and left. 

.

Onto happier events, Adrien was having a blast hanging out with Mari and Dami. His boyfriend (he still can’t believe he managed to score such a hottie!) fit right in the everything-that-matters siblings’ dynamics. 

They were in Mari’s room. Adrien was cuddling with Damian on her bed. And Mari was at her desk working on fashion designs. 

“So what’s your family like?” He played with Dami’s hair. It was so soft. Like what the fuck. It is so unfair. 

Damian thought about it for a few seconds. “My family is a bit...crazy. We drive each other insane every other day but at the end of the day, I have no doubt they have my back as I have theirs.” 

“You guys sound close.” 

“We were not always. We had an extensive amount of issues to work through before we actually bonded as a true family.” 

It was quiet for a minute until Damian casually said. “I would appreciate it a great deal if you can make time to visit Gotham for the summer.” 

Adrien stopped playing with his hair to look at him with wide incredulous eyes. “Summer’s only two months away.” 

“I am aware.” 

“You really want me to meet them? Isn’t it too early?” 

“I met yours the day we started dating.” 

True but....

Adrien averted his eyes. “Do you think your family will like me? You guys fight criminals and my dad’s a villain.” 

Damian put his hands over Adrien’s and gave them a light squeeze, making his Chaton look back at him. 

“My mother is a villain and I was raised as an assassin. Yet despite of that, my father accepted me. And I am fairly confident he will do the same to you. Mon amour, you have a pure and selfless heart. You are a better person than I am. I have no doubt that my family will love you from the start. 

“Are you being fur real right meow?” Adrien tried to lighten the atmosphere but he could feel his eyes tearing up. 

"I wouldn’t lie to mew.” 

He let out a small laugh, wiping his eyes. How did he ever get so lucky to land such an amazing guy? “You always know the purr-fect thing to say.” 

“We get it you’re in love. It’s amazing. Now stop it with the puns.” Mari rolled her eyes, utterly exasperated at these idiots who just ignored her and pulled out even more cat puns. “You have got to be kitten me.” 

Before she noticed what she said and groaned in faux despair. “Oh you two are so dead.”

Adrien stuck out his tongue playfully. “You can’t catch me. I got a handsome knight in shining armor to protect me.” 

Damian interlaced their fingers. “Always, mon amour. I’ll protect you from everything like your wicked father.”

“Does that make me the dragon here?” Mari joined in. “Cool. I can breathe fire and torch people. Too bad I can’t do that to a certain liar.” 

“Liar-la is totally the witch here.” Adrien said before thinking for a few seconds. “Does this make me the princess?” 

“Well, knights always have to save the damsel in distress.” Mari said. 

He frowned before crossing his arms indignantly. “Dami, I love you more than Plagg loves his stinky cheese, but I’m no damsel in distress.” 

Damian rolled his eyes. “Tt. Of course not. You can destroy things with a single touch. It would be not be in my best interests to downplay your abilities.”

Adrien relaxed and beamed a sunny smile. “Good. Remember that.” 

“Mon amour, I look for an equal as a partner, not some weak spoiled harlot that can not defend their self.” Damian placed a flower crown (that was just sitting on Marinette’s nightstand, must be one of her projects) on Adrien’s head. “Having said that I do believe you are a prince that deserves all the love and care in the world.” 

And oh my. 

Adrien can feel his face burning scarlet and his heart almost bursting at how sweet this incredible, conceited Adonis was. 

He was falling in love with Damian over and over again each time they meet up. 

“You deserve love too, Dami.” 

And sweet, caring Hot-And-Sexy (Ah, fuck it. He will never grow out of that) placed a soft kiss on his cheek. 

Oh dear, he didn’t know his face can burned any redder. 

He could almost hear Mari cooing in the background. 

And in case anyone was wondering, Tom and Sabine adores their everything-that-actually-matters son’s boyfriend. Damian Wayne seems like a responsible young lad. And he makes Adrien really happy which is a major plus. Anything that makes their son happy is good in their books. 

.

Lila was not at all pleased. 

Why was Adrien suddenly hanging out with Marinette? Yeah, he doesn’t buy into her lies but she was confident he will be lured into her charms. Why wouldn’t he be? She was young and way more beautiful than a baker’s daughter. He was supposed to be hers. 

She and Gabriel are going to have a talk about his rebellious son. 

Except when she arrived at the Agreste mansion, Gabriel was apparently too busy to see her. 

He was too occupied with searching through boxes of fake miraculous to find Duusu to bother with her. 

“I don’t have time for you.” 

“Excuse me?!” 

She was aghast. How dare he speak this way to his biggest supporter —well, besides Mayura and Nathalie. 

“You’re excused. Now leave the premises.”

Before the door shut in her face and she was left fuming, her face an unflattering angry red. 

.

Being Damian’s boyfriend, Adrien has come to learn that Damian does nothing by halves. Including asking him out on a date. And the actual dates themselves. 

Today as the sun fell down and night came about, Damian and Adrien were taking a stroll in the park. It was relaxing and it was nice. They talked about everything and anything. 

Adrien did not think Damian planned anything more. 

But he really shouldn’t underestimate the son of Batman. 

Because when the last of the sun’s rays were gone, Damian led him to a gazebo strung up with beautiful lights giving the whole place an ethereal feel. And with the bright moon out tonight, it looked like fairies dancing in the garden. 

He didn’t notice Damian pressed play on his phone and classical music filled the air. 

He definitely noticed Damian bowing with a flourished and holding out his hand with a charming smile. “May I have this dance, Chaton?”

Adrien would have to be a huge fool to say no. 

“I’ll loved to.” He placed his hand in Damian’s and let the Adonis lead him in a simple waltz. 

This was his life. 

His life was one big sappy romance novel. And you know what, he doesn’t care if it is. Between dealing with his shitty father and Liar-la, this kitty deserves some happiness. 

.

It was a scene from one of those Disney fairy tale movies Adrien used to watch as kid. The magic. The love. The romantics. He felt like Cinderella and wished this night will never end, that the clock will never strike midnight. He just wanted to stay in his Prince Charming’s arms forever. 

Under the starry night sky, the lovebirds danced to their heart’s content and when another song ended, Damian tilted his head down to place a tender kiss on Adrien’s lips. 

“I harbor a great deal of non-platonic affections for you, mon amour.”

“I love you too, Hot-And-Sexy.” 

.

What the fuck?!

Seriously. 

What the actual fuck? 

Lila was simply walking home after her disastrous meeting with Gabriel (She was still not over how he simply dismissed her like she was nothing. How dare he). 

When she saw them. 

Adrien and some guy (she’s pretty sure that was a guy) dancing in the park. She can feel that disgusting jealousy just burning in her veins, a cold anger thrumming underneath. 

Things were not at all going her way. 

First, Adrien is back to being friends with that Mari-whore. Then, Gabriel ignores her. Her. And now, she is seeing her Adrien in the arms of someone else. 

Oh this will just not do. 

She took out her phone from her pocket and snapped a couple of pictures, making sure Adrien can clearly be seen. She didn’t care too much about the other guy. He’s probably just another pretty airhead Adrien knew through his father. He’s not important. 

A cruel smirk appeared on her face at the thought of the perfect revenge. Adrien was going to have a rough time at school tomorrow. After all, he should’ve known better than to make a move against her. 

.

“Seriously?!”

“Wow.” 

“I’m sure there’s an explanation for this.”

“Yeah. Adrien is obviously gay. That’s the only explanation.” 

“....Maybe not? There could be another reason.”

Lila had watery eyes and a sad frown on her face but inside, she was fucking smiling like a Cheshire cat. She made sure to be at school early so she can show the class the picture of Adrien’s little date last night. Who —predictably— were shocked at their sunshine child being with a guy and made plans to confront him about his supposed sexuality. 

She glowed at the thought of her plan working. This will teach Adrien to know his place or become a social pariah like his little friend Marinette. 

“I thought Adrien had feelings for me.” Lila wiped the “tears” from her eyes. “How could he lead me on like this when he’s been gay all along?” 

Alya —predictably— comforted her. “I’m pretty sure he’s just confused. He doesn’t know what he’s feeling.”

“I’m sure that’s it.” 

The pair didn’t notice Juleka and Rose glaring at them. 

.

Damian was not at all pleased. 

He was rightfully angry. 

How dare that poor sense of fashion taste trollop tried to shame his mon amour for being gay. How dare she try to say he was simply confused and didn’t know any better. How dare she defame his reputation because he holds nothing but spite for her person. 

How dare she. 

As Adrien’s boyfriend and future husband, it is his duty to correct this travesty and defend his Chaton’s honor. 

.

When the Damian Wayne, youngest son of Bruce Wayne, appeared at Françoise Dupont High School, you know that people are gonna stare and talk. 

When he headed towards the courtyard where Adrien and Marinette were sitting at, boy are things going to get juicy. 

Lila and her followers who were sitting a bit father from the outcast pair were utterly confused. They could possibly get Adrien knowing such a super hot celebrity but for him to be on good terms with Marinette too? How inconceivable. Absolutely flabbergasted. 

“Hey Lila didn’t you tell us you knew him and his family?” Max brought up. 

“Uhhh....” Lila knew she dug herself in a corner here. She never thought that the Damian Wayne would ever visit here. At this second rate school. 

“Well, let’s go, girl!” Alya exclaimed. “I’m sure Damian just hasn’t seen you. That’s why he didn’t walk towards you.”

Before proceeding to practically drag Lila to where Damian was talking with Adrien and Marinette. 

Lila, on the other hand, was cursing out Alya in a bunch of different languages in her mind while trying to come up with something to dig herself out of this mess. If they talk to Wayne, the class will realize she was lying all along. 

She was not going to lose control of her kingdom like this —well, not without putting up a fight. 

But when they and the rest of their classmates walked close to the trio, they were shocked when they saw Marinette playfully punching Damian in the arm. 

“Okay. How the hell are you so close with Damian Wayne?” Straight off the bat, Alya was on the offense as she glared at Marinette as if it was Mari who did something wrong. 

Damian answered before the bluenette could. His face was impassive and his glare cold. “I’m Ms. Dupain-Cheng’s top model for her fashion business.”

What? 

Even Lila was taken aback at the news. She knew that goody two shoes likes designing but she didn’t think anybody would actual buy her stuff. She didn’t think a Wayne would like her stuff. 

She could feel her fists clenched. How dare Marinette steal the spotlight again. 

“I’m also Adrien’s boyfriend.” Damian continued casually as if that wasn’t a huge bombshell. 

Everyone’s minds screeched to a halt. 

They knew about the possibility of Adrien being gay since Lila showed him on going on a date with an unidentified but clearly male person yesterday. But they didn’t think there was actually something there. 

Lila could feel her anger clouding her mind. Adrien was supposed to be hers. He was her ticket to fame and fortune. 

“And what about Lila? Aren’t you guys best friends?” Alya put her hands on her hips. How could Damian just ignore someone he is close friends with but give Marinette all the attention? Lila deserves better than that.  

Damian was unamused. “I don’t know her.”

“Yeah, you do.” Alya ignored Lila’s gestures to stop talking. Lila was too shy about her achievements and she was going to have her amazing best friend’s back. “She’s the one who helped your family out multiple times.”

“She did not. And I am appalled that you believe I would know a harlot like her in the first place.” Damian’s face twisted with disgust as he glanced at Liar-la like she was a mere insect. “Please. I have class and dignity.”

“Take that back!” She screeched. “You are so rude.” 

“Are you honestly going to lecture me on my rudeness when you plebians are being hypocrites?”

“What? I’m not a hyprocrite.” 

“Lila Rossi is a pathetic liar who begs for attention like street dogs beg for scraps. She never once saved Jagged’s cat nor does she help out with green charities. Lastly, she is not on close terms with myself nor with my family.”

“No! You’re lying!”

He raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “Ok then. Look her up on the internet. If she is as grand as you lot seem to think, she should have articles dedicated to her. Show me proof of her actions that isn’t your subpar blog and I will give you an exclusive.” 

Alya’s eyes gleamed at what should be an easy challenge. But when she pulled out her phone and typed Lila’s name and what she did in the search engine, her smile disappeared. 

She spent the next few minutes scouring the net for anything, any mention of a Lila Rossi that wasn’t on the LadyBlog. 

She found nothing. 

Lila Rossi was a fucking liar all along. And Alya and the rest of the class believed her. 

“We tried to warn you.” Marinette said in a soft voice. But anyone who knew her knew she was trying to hold back her laughter. 

“Marinette,” Rose cried out as she realized the class has been total jerks to the one person who always had their backs. “We were horribly wrong. Can you ever forgive us?”

She shrugged. “I forgive you. But this doesn’t mean we’re friends again. Because we’re not. Seeing how easily you drop me for that liar without even looking for any kind of proof hurts and I’m not eager to be friends again. Maybe in the future but not right now.”

“That’s goes ditto for me.” Adrien added his two cents. 

Their former friends classmates wore gloomy expressions, utterly devastated at ruining their friendship with their Everyday Ladybug and Sunshine Child. 

And with that, Adrien and Marinette left the courtyard, with light hearts and heads held high. 

Damian shot the class a razor sharp grin. “Well, it’s been nice to meet you.” 

Everyone knew he meant anything but. 

“I always knew teenagers were prone to be foolish imbeciles. But seeing the collective stupidity of you people today made me realize that the bar can in fact be lowered.” 

.

Adrien was fucking ecstatic. 

Elated. Overjoyed. Jubilant. Drunk on happiness. All the synonyms associated. 

Because Lila was finally exposed. The class realized what utter assholes they have been. His father will receive his due (soon according to Mari and Dami). 

He was happily humming a tune as he swung his and Damian’s intertwined hands back and forth. 

He was entirely grateful that Damian showed up to school today. Although he was a bit mean for Adrien’s taste. 

But oh man. Payback was so sweet. 

He smiled giddily. 

Mister Hot-And-Sexy definitely earned himself a kiss. 

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[anonymouslyangsty]

I would love to hear about Taka secretly being the murderer instead of Toko!!

HEHEHEH I now have an excuse to talk about the Brainrot. Also gosh. This is real long. And kinda just a string of thoughts, though no more so than usual I guess. I got into this one

First and foremost, we got to establish how close to the Toko/Syo situation Taka would be in this case. For the sake of simplicity, we'll say it's another situation of Taka and Ishida being separate personalities, just like with Toko and Syo. I think there's definitely merit to them being the same person, but I'd have to think that over since...well I've never thought of this concept from that mindset before. 

Let's consider Taka not knowing. I like that it's kinda a metaphor to some degree? Because as kids, we all have a very black and white, pure idea of morality and justice. Don't steal from others, don't lie, don't hurt people, ect. And that clear cut morality is very much in line with Taka as a character. He follows the rules! All the time! Even in a death game he'll yell at you for running in the halls. And this morality of his is so pure and simple, to the point of being childish.

But morality is not black and white in the real word. It's complicated, with tons of different factors to consider more often than not. Is it already to steal if you'll starve otherwise? Is it alright to lie if the person you're lying to has bad intentions, even if they are a authority figure? Is it okay to hurt someone if doing so saves others? Morality isn't clear cut and sometimes rules need to be broken. But when we're immature, it's easy not to realize this. 

So having Taka not know about Ishida would be representative of this concept of immature vs mature morality. The immature morality, the black and white view, is unaware of the need for complexity. This would be Taka, because Taka seems unable to accept grey morally. His interactions with Mondo reflect that. When he thought Mondo was bad, he was totally bad. He was violent, lazy, and a criminal. When he decided Mondo was good, he was totally good. He was the perfect man, unable to do any harm, let alone kill someone. 

So Ishida would be the mature morality, the one who realizes that the idealistic views of the immature morality are just that, an ideal, not reality. Ishida would understand that Taka's belief that, if he can just bring his ideas and morals into politics everything can be solved, is wrong. Corruption runs deeper than Taka's willing or ready to confront. And even with all the hard work in the world, Kiyotaka isn't going to be able to solve everything. 

How do you solve society's issues when the avenues to legally solve it are corrupt? Who do you call when the cops abuse the people? When the billionaire has all the judges paid off? How can you uproot corruption when so many politicians benefit from it and strive to perpetuate it? 

You can't. And that's what Ishida's there for. Ishi is more of the revolutionary that Taka is, the one who's willing to break the rules to ultimately create a better world to live in. 

So yeah. Ishida is a murderer. He kills corrupt authority figures, those who'd would lie and bribe their way out of trouble if he didn't kill them. Because for far too long justice has only affected those who couldn't pay their way out of it. I guess he's kinda a Sparkling Justice kinda situation, motivation wise. 

His calling card would definitely be different from Syo's. He'd probably leave a file of all the crimes the politician was executed for. Nobody knows how he gets the info, since so much of it was covered up, but he has it. Along with this, his victims are always decapitated. This is in reference to the French Revolution, where the people rose up and used a guillotine on the ruling class. (I’m sure there’s a more Japanese appropriate revolution I could make reference of, but I don’t know what it is.)

Now actually, how does Ishida get all that info on his victims? Not sure fully myself, but he probably uses Takaaki's position as an officer to his benifit. I'm sure he can get a lot of confidential information by breaking into police files. He has his ways.

Also, it should be noted that someone like Mondo wouldn't become a target for Ishida. Ishida doesn't deal with petty criminals, or even serial killers. He deals with criminals that'll powerful enough to manipulate the justice system to their advantage. Ishida only kills those the law refuses to deal with. 

Unlike Toko and Syo, I think that Kiyotaka would be totally unaware of Ishida. I like the idea of Ishida attempting to protect Taka from what he does. Because Taka is everything Ishida fights for; to protect innocence by destroying corruption. So Ishida wouldn't want Taka to know about what he does. 

Perhaps fittingly, this isn't exactly a good thing. How can Taka grow as a person, learn to be a leader himself, if he isn't aware of the corrupt world he's getting into? Taka does need to evolve into mature morality, but Ishida won't let him in his desire to protect Taka. Ishida keeps Taka innocent and naive, which isn't always a good thing. 

Moving on, I want to talk about backstory for this AU. It's basically the same. Toranosuke's corrupt in his actions as Prime Minister, probably cheating many out of their livelihoods and ruining lives in the process. He's eventually found out, leaving him and his family in dept. As far as I know, Toranosuke never serves a prison sentence. I don't know why he didn't in canon, but I'm going to say he bribed his way out of it in this AU.

And all of this is...upsetting to Taka to say the least (I'm going to say Taka's like 8-10 at this point) . Because even if his father tries to hide it from him, Taka's aware of the fallout of what his grandfather did. The thousands who were cheated, the workers left jobless, the safety violations that were ignored. He knows what his grandfather did was wrong. And everybody, from the news reporters, to the people on the street, to even his own teachers, say Toranosuke should be imprisoned for what he did. 

The situation is terribly unfair. Why should everyone hate him because of what his grandfather did? Why should his dad have to work all day just because of Toranosuke? Why isn't his grandfather in jail if he did so many bad things?

Kiyotaka is a passionate boy, and while he's well behaved, that level of passion wouldn't be easy for a 10 year old's willpower to contain. I think that eventually the stress of everything becomes too much. The constant bullying at school, the fact that he never sees his father anymore, the fact that his mother left them after grandfather got in trouble. It's all a lot for a child. And Toranosuke, the man behind all that heartache, is still there. An old, withered man, just laying in bed while everyone else suffers for his mistakes.

It's not fair. It's not fair that the bad guy gets away with it, and Taka hates his grandfather so much for it. Perhaps if Toranosuke had spoken to him, had said anything in explanation for what he'd done, Taka could've dealt with it better. But he didn't, so Taka didn't.

I think Taka eventually does something drastic. It's not planned or calculated in any way, more like a child having the worst possible meltdown. Perhaps he pulls out his grandfather's life support, or he smothers the man with a pillow. Either way, Toranosuke Ishimaru dies at the hands of his grandson, a young boy who couldn't handle the stress the world put on him. 

And Taka's horrified when he realizes what he's done. Because he just killed someone, someone who had hurt so many people, but someone nonetheless. And regardless of how angry Taka was with his grandfather, he honestly didn't mean to kill the man. 

So Taka does what any terrified child would do. He runs as far away as possible, with absolutely no plan. And it's days later before anyone finds him and brings him home. He's completely catonic when Takaaki finally finds him. 

 Taka's fingerprints being on the crime scene wouldn't be suspicious, since he lives there and is in charge of taking care of Toranosuke while Takaaki's out. So it wouldn't be hard to assume someone came in, killed Toranosuke, then cleaned up any evidence before leaving. After all, Toronosuke was dead for hours before Takaaki returned home. 

It's possible that Takaaki knows what actually happened. I mean, Taka's still Taka. He'd probably confess what'd happened once he's less catonic. But, regardless of if Takaaki believes the confession, he sure as hell isn't going to accept it. 

It’s the only time Takaaki ever yelled at his son. Not out of anger, but a panicked terror of not knowing if his son was deeply traumatized and blaming himself. or if he was truly guilty of murdering Toranosuke. He makes Taka swear to never say he killed his grandfather again. 

And somewhere in the midst of all that issue, Ishida starts being a thing. Perhaps it comes from Taka’s immaturity; his childish views on morality are completely incompatible with what he’d done. And how he’s promised to never bring it up again, but that means that he can’t do the right thing and confess. It’s a horrific contradiction and a horrific situation. 

Perhaps Ishida is Taka’s means of coping with that. Taka doesn’t remember what happened on that day, but Ishida does. Ishida carries the burden of that day and, as Taka gets older, all the other deaths.

Does Takaaki know about his son’s vigilantism? Who knows. 

Anyway, as for in the death game. I would still say the murderer gets revealed in ch2, but I’m not quite sure how. There’s no way that Taka could tell anyone he’s Ishida (or whatever the media calls this ‘mysterious killer’), since he himself honestly doesn’t know. 

I feel like it would be possible for Togami to catch him however, assuming there’s info on his case in the library. When the secrets are passed out, Taka would probably be pretty vocal about his being a “total false accusation”. After all, there’s no way he killed his own grandfather! These so called secrets are clearly just slander, right?

Given how honest Taka’s shown himself to be, Togami might think that’s suspicious that he likely honestly doesn’t remember his secret happening. Which might be enough for him to connect Taka to the string of murders. After all, Toranosuke would fit the bill of the killer’s usual victims.

I guess to get Ishida to front, Togami would have to convince both the class and Taka that he’s the aformentioned murderer. It would be...A very bad time for Taka. Bringing up a lot of repressed memories. 

Also, gotta talk about Ishida a tad more! With Toko and Syo, the fact that they have such different personalities is part of the charm. So, it seems kinda lame to keep Ishida as “just Taka but loud and rude” like in canon. Not to mention that Ishida wasn’t made with Mondo in mind, so it wouldn’t make sense. 

My first thought is that Ishida is almost the total opposite of Taka. He’s still just as militant as Taka, but he’s far more serious, less expressive. He probably very openly consiters making Togami his next target for the whole mutilating a corpse thing, but decides not to on the grounds that he’s a minor (and also because they’re in a death game and Ishida doesn’t want to risk Taka dying)

Also I’m realizing that, if Togami sets up the killer like he does in canon...That means he cuts off Chihiro’s head….Ew

[unmaskedagain]

Marinette Vs Santa

A quick Christmas drabble.

  How did Marinette find out she was adopted? Well… her little half-brother tried to kill her.

           Also, that’s how she found out her biological dad was Batman. Because… why not. As if her life wasn’t weird enough already.

           And to think Marinette had been secretly writing Santa every year since she was three to like nine asking for a sibling of her own. She didn’t think it would ever happen

           Then one day, on a cold December night, as Ladybug ran across rooftops to see as many of the Christmas decorations as possible. Suddenly every instinct she had told her to duck. And she did just narrowly avoided a sword to the throat.

           Marinette readied herself to fight an Akuma, only to see an angry ten-year-old with a sword and a mask. He was dressed in green, red, and gold.

“Die, usurper!” He roared and attacked her again.

           Ladybug dodged and jumped every attempt to kill her and tried to resist the urge to punch a child.

           Eventually she got the better of the kid, and ended up hog tying him.

           Marinette put her hands on her knees as she struggled to catch her breath, “Who. Are. You. Nightmare. Child?” She asked in between breaths. Ladybug picked up the fallen sword and pointed at him. “And what is your problem? What did I even do to you?”

“You are Marinette Dupain-Cheng, first born blood child of our father.” He hissed at her, “I am our father’s rightful heir; not you.”

           Our father?  Did her dad have a lovechild? Did he cheat on her mom? No, Tom Dupain would never.

“What?” Marinette pinched her nose. “You want to be head baker?”

“Fool!” He tsk’d at her. “I’ve no interest in your adoptive parents’ holdings. I will follow Father’s footsteps and rule the night. I will be Batman. Not you, sister. Kneel before me and renounce your heirship, and I will spare your life.”

           …Wait Adoptive? Batman? Sister?

           Marinette just stared at him. Not saying a word. For a while. Awhile he insulted her.

           She looked out at the colorful lights that glowed against the freshly fallen snow and sense of peace that filled the air, and Marinette whispered the only thing on her mind…

“Fuck Santa.”

           The boy stopped struggled and gave her a perplexed look, “What? What does the jolly fat man have to do with anything? Why has he made you angry, sister? I will avenge you.”

You just tried to kill me, she wanted to say.

           Marinette just rolled her eyes, “Never mind. We need to talk.” She picked him and tossed him over her shoulder. “In my room.”

           Running across Paris with a struggling kid on your shoulder and a sword in your hand wasn’t easy.

            When she got to her room, she dropped the kid on her bed as gently as possible. “Do not escape,” She ordered. “If you do, do not destroy my room. I’m going to ask my parents if…” If they’re really her parents. Why didn’t they tell her?  Why? Just Why? “What you say is true. I won’t mention Batman.”

           Or the psychotic ten-year-old she had tied up in her room. Who may or may not be her brother.

           Marinette de-transformed. Tikki hid in her hair before anyone could see her.

           She came back to her room half an hour later with a cheese plate, full of veggies, fruits and crackers. And a tray full of chocolate chip Christmas cookies and two glasses of milk. She sat them down at the desk.

           The boy glared at her.

“You were right,” Marinette sighed. “I was adopted. My birth mom was just nineteen when she had me. The sister of one of my mom’s friends.”

           The news had been a blow. Her parents had kept repeating how much they loved her and how they had been planning on telling her when she was older. Older than fourteen. They wanted to know how she found out. She said her little brother had gotten in contact with her.

           Marinette eyed the still tied up boy… her brother. He no longer struggled against his bonds, just stared with an angry expression on his face. “I don’t want to be Batman,” She told him. “The title is all yours. I like being Ladybug. It’s a name I earned, worked hard for. A name I’m proud of and will not part with easily. Is that something you can understand?”

           He stared at her for a moment before nodding slowly, “You created your own hero persona to find the terror entrapping your city; all by yourself. …Father did the same.”

           He said the last part with a sad tone that Marinette’s new found big sisterly instincts go haywire. “And you think just because you’re his… partner,” She said, instead of sidekick because she was sure that word would get her killed. “And not a solo hero, that he will find you unworthy of being his heir.” Marinette sat down next to him, and patted his hair softly. “Did you ever think that because he is the one who’s training you, that because you fight by his side, that he’d trust you more? Trust you to take up his mantle in the way he can’t trust me. He doesn’t know what I’m capable of entirely. But he knows exactly what you can do because he taught you.”

           Her brother scoffed but his face lost some of its anger and he seemed to relax.

“I’m going to untie you now,” She told him. “Do not attack me.”

           When he was untied and given back his sword, which he sheathed, Marinette brought over the food. “You know my name,” She said after he took a bite a cookie and seemed pleased with it. “What’s yours?”

“Damian,” He answered. “Damian Al-Ghul Wayne. How did you obtained magical powers? And what is the creature that thought it could hide from me?”

           Marinette just blink. Because Dammit Tikki. The pink ball of fluff out with a chastised look on her face. Unfortunately that look meant nothing as all the other Kwami Marinette now protected as Guardian thought that meant they could come out to.

           Plagg straight to Damian and sat on his lap, “Cheese. Now.”

           Marinette face-palmed. The Kwami had taken trying to declare dominance ever since Ladybug took the ring back from Chat Noir.

           Damian could only stare at the being, animal, and sprite as he reached slowly for a piece of cheese from the selection of food and handed it the small creature. That was all the other Kwami needed to rush to him for attention. Damian was easily mesmerized by the little creatures and saw no issue in showing them affection. Apart from the fact that Oracle, and Father, and thus the rest of the family were watching the feed, through the mask, while they attempt to locate him. Damian could only disable their trackers for so long. Annoying as she was, Oracle was a genius.

“Okay, little brother,” Marinette shrugged. “You tell me your story. I’ll tell you mine.”

           And so they did. The two siblings spent the next few hours telling the other all about their history. Neither were happy.

           Marinette was beyond furious that her little brother was raised by ruthless assassins, cast into the role of Robin (though mostly by his own doing), constantly risked his life, and had little no childhood.

           Damian was pissed, which was putting it nicely. His beloved sister had no training when she was charged with the task of defending the city as the hero Ladybug and fight a supernatural terrorist, dealt with sexual harassment from her once trusted partner, then her master died in battle but not before he bestowed one of the most powerful magical artifacts of all time to a teenager. To top it all off, his sweet sister was being bullied by a pathological liar who turned all her friends against her, nearly got her expelled, leaving her with little to no Allies to aid her in her fight against evil. Marinette had cried at the end of her tale.

           …He was going burn Paris to the ground.

           Little did he know, the Batfamily found it hard not to agree as they watched the livestream from the Batplane?

           Dick had gone from jumping up and down at the sight of his adorable new sister, Marinette. She was a hero called Ladybug, how cute was that? To being rather angry at what she had to put up with. It was too much pressure for a kid, superhero, superpowers, or not.

“What do we do?” Tim asked.

           Batman was still having trouble processing. He had another daughter; a beautiful little girl who seemed to have taken after him without ever having known the man. Nature versus Nurture, he supposed; nature won. Marinette who had been fighting to save her city like he fought to save his. Who was her mother? Why didn’t she tell Bruce he had another child? Granted Brucie wasn’t who most people thought would be an ideal father but still… Hadn’t he proved himself?

“Find Hawkmoth,” Jason growled. “Punch a hole through his face. And Send Steph and Cass to have a “Talk”, he air quoted. “With that Lila chick. While we have a little talk of our own with Chat Noir. End of story.”

           Cass nodded, gleefully, that little girl would pay for what she did to Cassandra’s sister. And if she was lucky, Lila would even live to tell the tale.

           Stephanie was wondering if the Batfamily, her sort of-adopted family, could really get away with murder.

           …Who was she kidding? They totally could.

“We don’t… kill?” Batman said as he turned around and stalked away. “I’ll inform Alfred of the development.” Maybe have him prepare a room, he thought with hope. He’d like his daughter to visit and feel at home whenever she could.

           When Batman left the area, Tim looked around at his siblings, “Did that sound like a question to anyone else?”

           Marinette and Damian fell asleep next to each other, with the Kwami cuddled close. The next morning she woke not only to sound to the sound of the Kwami but to the sight of five additional vigilantes heroes, in addition to the one from the night before, hovering around her room.

           Two girls who were discussing with Trixx and long about their abilities. A hero in mostly black and red, who sat on Marinette’s top bunk with Marinette’s laptop on his lap, and Pollen on his shoulder. Damian still had Plagg with him, which Marinette wanted to tsk at because she told him not to play favorites. A blue, clearly the oldest, was laying on the floor playing with the remaining Kwami like they were puppies.

           She sat up in her bed and tried to wipe the sleep from her eyes. She glared at Damian, “Want to explain?”

“Mornin, sunshine,” A guy in a redmask said, with Barkk on his shoulder, as he chopped on a leftover cookie, not noticing the way Tikki glared at him. “Name’s Red Hood. Real name Jason. Dad’s downstairs talking to your parents.”

           Dad?

           She glared even harder at Damian. He shrugged, “Marinette, these are our… brothers and sisters.” He said. “They were adopted.”

“You should get better security on your computer,” The hero on her bed said. “Name’s Tim. I go by Red Robin.”

“Cassandra,” One the girl introduced. “Blackbat.”

“Stephanie. Batgirl,” The other said.

“I’m Dick!” The one on the floor laughed. “Nightwing. Welcome to the family.”

Tim continued, “I’ve located all personal information on Lila Rossi. I believe we can now move forward with the plan.”

Jason clapped his hands together, “Awesome. Operation: Get That Bitch is a go.”

Marinette just started at them. Six. She had six siblings. One for every year ever asked for a sibling for Christmas. She just had one thing to say as she tossed the covers back over her head to hide from the world…

“Fuck. Santa.”

           Finding out Bruce Wayne, cough Batman cough, was her father was one thing. Meeting him in person was another. He stared at her with cool blue eyes that made Marinette realize she probably should’ve questioned where she got her own long before.

           Her parents had been surprised when Bruce Wayne walked into their bakery and asked to speak with them alone. Even more so, when he claimed to be the biological father of their daughter. It had been long conversation between the three. But Bruce made it clear that he had interest of just taking Marinette from them. However, he would like visitations and for her to spend time with him over the summers. And to take her out for the day so she could meet her siblings. Also, about adding Wayne to her last name.

           So that was how Marinette found herself sitting in one of the most expensive restaurants in all of Paris, in the best dress she ever designed herself, with her… family.

           The initial awkwardness was broken up by all her siblings. Though they seemed to know to how to behave in public, they had no problems messing with each other and teasing.

“How long have you been into fashion, Marinette?” Bruce, her Papa, (As her dad would always be her dad).

           She smiled, “Since I was really little. It’s my dream to have my own line.”

           Bruce’s eyes got bright at the chance to help his daughter, “I can help you with that. I can drum up a connect or two, to get you started.”

“He’ll throw money at it until someone cracks,” Jason translated which cause Marinette to laugh and Bruce to glare.

Marinette discovered Damian had snuck Plagg with him to the restaurant.

           Marinette just groaned.

“You brought Tikki!” Damian defended.

“I’m the holder of her Miraculous,” She hissed back as low as she could. “Paris’s main and sometimes only hero. I need her.”

           Damian huffed, “That’s no reason he shouldn’t be allowed to attend as well. He’s with me.”

           Before Marinette could continue the arugment…

“Wayne?” Gabriel Agreste asked, tailed by Natalie, Adrien, Chloe, and Chloe’s parents: Audrey Bourgeois and André Bourgeois. “Bruce Wayne?”

           Bruce put on his most charming smile as he stood up, “Yes and you are?” He put out his hand.

           Gabriel shook it, clearly wondering why the billionaire was there. “Gabriel Agreste.”

           Bruce nodded, “The fashion designer.”

“This is my son Adrien,” Gabriel introduced. “My assistant Nathalie. My longtime friend Audrey Bourgeois, of the Style Queen, and André Bourgeois, mayor of Paris, and their lovely daughter. We’re here for a quick lunch.”

“Same,,” Bruce nodded. “I’m here with my children. My eldest Dick, followed by Jason, Cassandra, Stephanie, Tim, Marinette and my youngest Damian.” He introduced them.

           At the sound her name, all the newcomers eyes went to Marinette. She gave them a small wave, “Good to see you again.”

“Dupain-Cheng!” Chloe gasped.

           Damian growled, “Dupain-Cheng-Wayne.” As he glared passed her at the blond boy, the former Chat Noir.

           The blond girl was stunned, “How could you not tell me?”

           Hadn’t the two moved passed their difference and become friends? The two girls, and Kagami and united together when the liar seemed to take hold of the rest of the class.

“No one knew,” Marinette defended. I didn’t even know, she wanted to add. But they had discussed and agreed on the story that Bruce and an unknown woman gave up Marinette to the Dupain-Chengs when she was born. Nothing scandalous about it.

           Gabriel paused as he tried to think of what to say. How did he not know there was Wayne living in Paris, that his son was classmates with a Wayne. The girl had power in her pinky when she was still in Nappies, then either of the older Bourgeois had currently in their entire bodies. She would’ve been a much better playmate for his son than Chloe; the vapid, girl that she was.

           Audrey was thinking nearly the same thing. “Such a brilliant daughter you have, Brucie,” She smoozed. “I still can’t believe she turned down the internship I offered her. I want her to come to New York with me, you know?”

           Bruce beamed, “I’m glad someone sees her brilliance.”

           This went on for a while as each of the parents tried their hands at flattering the billionaire.  Bruce finally had enough and all but dismissed them

“I’m glad our children our such good friends,” Gabriel said finally as he turned to leave.

           Marinette fought he urge to scoff. Adrien was not her friend.

           The boy in question looked anywhere but at Marinette as he left. He had chosen to side with the other students when the Ice’d out Marinette until the girl stopped being a bully and being mean to Lila. Even if he knew it wasn’t true. Most declared they weren’t her friends anymore. Alya said she’d never be friends with Marinette again.

Coward, Damian nearly hissed. When they were gone, he turned to Marinette, “The blond girl is your alley, correct?” He asked. “Your Queen?”

           Marinette nodded, “There’s Luka and Kagami as well.”

“I will test to ensure they are worthy to fight at her side,” He declared.

           The others nodded. Bruce got a dark look on his face, “We all will.” He would not allow his daughter to suffer another Chat Noir.

           That was it, Marinette thought as she threw down the sliver napkin, she was starting to hate Christmas.

           The end of the weekend the entire world knew that Marinette was Bruce Wayne’s daughter. This made going to school Monday morning a huge spectacle as paparazzi crowded the outside the bakery and outside the school. Each one trying to get the attention of Wayne’s crown jewel, new Princess of Gotham, as the media dubbed her.

           Suffice to say, Bruce had taken her to school that day flagged by Dick and Tim as her other siblings combed the city for traces of Hawkmoth.

           The principle had practically fallen over himself to speak with the Bruce Wayne. But quickly hid in the shadows, when the first thing Bruce said to him was, “Ah, yes, you’re the man who expelled my daughter without a proper investigation. I’ll be talking to you later. So will my lawyers.”

           Marinette tried to hide her blushing face her father walked her to class. Students did everything they could to get a look at her. Chloe and Kagami waited outside her classroom, that was practically bursting with noise.

           However She practically drop dead when Tim complimented Kagami’s sword fighting skill and offered to duel her, and Kagami blushed. Blushed. Kagami?

           Marinette shook her head as she kissed her father and brothers goodbye. This world just didn’t make sense anymore.

           The two other girls flanked Marinette’s side as they walked into class. All noise stopped instantly. Marinette didn’t even bother spare the other kids a glance as the three took a seat in back of the class.

           Chloe quickly pulled her into a conversation of the places she’d see that summer in New York.

“I’ll be spending the end of Christmas break in Gotham too,” Marinette said shyly. “I’ll open my presents there. Papa wants me there for the Wayne Ball was I can be properly introduced to society.”

           And not because Bruce Wayne was scared of what Alfred would do if he didn’t get to mean his new granddaughter before the new year. That and Martha Kent were the ultimate overprotective grandparents.

“A Ball?” Lila squeaked, poorly concealed jealously on her face. She still couldn’t believe the little twit was Wayne. IF she had, Lila would’ve been a hell of a lot nicer. No wonder Marientte always knew when Lila was lying. She probably knew the celebrities through her father. “You’re going to the Waynes’ Annual New Year’s Ball.”

“Everyone goes,” Rose awe’d. “It’s basically a red carpet event. I watch every year. And Selena Gomez had the most beautiful dress on last time.”

           Juleka hummed in agreement, “Clara Nightingale looked like a princess.”

           Marinette just shrugged as each of her classmates offered their input on what the Ball would be like. She wasn’t about to make nice with them. They had turned their backs on her, betrayed her trust. Her brothers and sisters had warned her to be watchful for phony friends.

           Alya, who’s face had been turning steadily more red, as the classmates speculated who Marinette would meet. “Girl!” She burst. “How could not tell me?”

           Marinette raised a thin eyebrow, “We’re not friends, Alya, by your own declaration. I don’t believe I have to tell you anything. And even when we were friends, I only knew you for two years. Why would I tell a journalist anything important about me?”

“She was right not to,” Kagami stated, “With how quickly you all turned on her, I’m surprised she ever told you anything at all.”

           Alya flinched back as if slapped. So did a few other students.

“It’s not fair,” Alya continued as if nothing happened. “I could’ve gotten so many interviews. OH! I could with you to the Ball. It’ll be bomb.”

           The three girls in the backrow just stared at her.

“We. Are. Not. Friends,” Marinette repeated slowly. “Kagami and Chloe, and their families are invited because Kagami. And. Chloe. Are. My. Friends. In fact, my only friends in class. Luka is invited as well as well as his family,” She turned to Juleka who turned bright red. “Luka will receive invite tonight. If you attend with him, I will do my best to be polite. My father allowed me to invite them so I would have additional company if it gets too busy. The Ball is invitation only.”

           Allowed? He insisted. Marinette doesn’t even know how he found out all their names and who their families were. For reason, Marinette had the gut instinct to blame a redhead and Tim. Batman wanted to test his daughter’s team. And if they were lacking… Well, he’d promised to shape them up. Or else.

“I’m going to the Wayne Ball!” Chloe shouted. “And you didn’t tell me. It’s mere weeks away. I need a dress. I need to tell Mother.”

           Kagami had frozen. She knew well that the Wayne Ball wasn’t just any high society event. It was the High society event. Her family had never been elite and rich enough to receive an invitation. “I thank you for the invitation,” She bowed her head. “It will be a pleasure to attend.” She paused as she pulled out her phone and stood up. “I must also tell Mother.” And with, she quickly left the room.

           Which was much more polite than Chloe who called her mom then and there.

“Mama!” Chloe sang, “Marinette invited us to the Wayne Ball this year!”

“WHAT!” Was heard from the receiver.

           Marinette giggled. She ignored the glare Alya sent her.

           Rose grasped Juleka’s arm and jumped up and down. “You’re going to the ball. Ahhhh!” She screamed. “What will you wear? Your hair? You have to take pictures.” Rose suddenly reared back and took a deep breath. “You’re going to walk the red carpet.”

“You know, Marinette,” Lila smiled sweetly. “I would be honored to help you navigate the world of a celebrity. The ball will be so stressful. If you needed me there, I’d be happy to attend.”

“No, thank you,” Marinette said. “My siblings have promised to guide me through. It will be a bonding experience.”

           Lila forced a smile on her face, “Of course.” She fought the desire to scream and throw a tantrum. How could this happen?

           Adrien on the other hand fought to keep the smile on his face. His father would not be pleased. He had instructed Adrien to get close to Marinette, and thus the Wayne family. Adrien hadn’t had the courage to tell his father that they weren’t friends anymore. And that because of the lack of friendship, the Agreste were not invited to the party of the year.

           Marinette went to bed that day with a smile on her face. The Christmas season may have started off rocky but it would get better.

           Suddenly her phone started buzzing like it was on fire.

           The first text she read was from Chloe: You’re dating Roy Queen?!!!!

           Marinette’s entirely body froze. Who?

           Suddenly, she got another text… From Jason: Hey Baby Bats, I need a favor! Can you fake date my friend Roy. I already told everyone you guys were a thing. Bruce is freaking out! Thanks! Love you.

           Her mouth dropped, raged filled her entire body. And then she remembered how she joked with Alya that she wanted a boyfriend last year for Christmas last year.

“FUCK SANTA!”

[niamaggie]

100 - Julie and the Phantoms Prompts

In honor of my favorite holiday and one of my more recent obsessions, I have been posting fic prompts over on the Julie and the Phantoms Discord server (https://discord.gg/2WC6GD23UT). Today I reached a milestone of 100 prompts and decided to masterpost them here. 

Some of these are fluffy, but many are angsty/whumpy, but they’re all ones that have popped off in my brain in the last month or so. Many are of the guys and Julie, but they’re are prompts for pretty much every character. I’ve done my best to put triggers before the actual prompt, but if I’m missing any, please let me know.

These are free to use, however, I do ask that you tag me or send me a message if you decide to fill one since I would love to read it and add it to this list. <3 

Prompt 1: *Triggers - Body Horror* The Phantoms feed off of Julie’s energy to stay corporeal. The more energy, the longer they can stay visible and the easier they can interact with everyone. At first, it’s really great. The guys get to meet everyone officially and things are looking up. But, Julie is having a harder time staying awake and keeping it together. She feels guilty since she loves how the guys are able to enjoy themselves. She doesn’t want to end that for them. Eventually, she can’t keep up anymore and tells them what’s going on. Queue cuddle time to recharge and talk it all out. They decide to slowly build up Julie’s abilities. Bonus: ALL THE CUDDLES

Prompt 2: What if Julie knew Caleb outside of the guys (maybe history with her mom)? What if she considered him family and didn’t realize he was the one causing issues with the guys? They run into each other when Caleb comes after the Orpheum performance expecting the band to take his deal. Julie: “Uncle Caleb?” “Julie?!”

 Prompt 3: *Triggers - Nightmare* Julie has a night terror after the Orpheum performance, thinking the guys are gone. She runs into the studio and the guys are all there sleeping/napping. She breaks down, and just grabs onto them and won’t let go. They all cuddle her to calm her down, telling her they are still there. They all fall asleep on the couch.

 Prompt 4: *Triggers - Child Neglect, Child Mental Abuse, & Anxiety* There’s more to Alex’s story with his family than what Luke said. They don’t just disapprove of him; they outright pretend he doesn’t exist. It gets to a point where he completely breaks down in the studio after having a bad practice day (the kind of day where nothing is going right). Being a ghost, is like what his family did to him, but on a much bigger scale. It’s much harder to deal with... Just want the band to comfort him, please?

Prompt 5: *Triggers - Mental Health* Reggie really, really wants to be able to interact with Julie’s family. Now that they can touch her, he shyly asks if they can officially meet them. “If that’s ok?” “It’s just they..” She beams and says, “ Of course.” Reggie just hugs her super tight with watery eyes.

 Prompt 6: *Triggers - Murder* The hotdog’s weren’t rancid; they were poisoned. Why did someone want Sunset Curve dead? (Not Bobby/Trevor)

 Prompt 7: With all the new found fame for “Julie and the Phantoms”, the band starts amassing quite a fan following. One particular “fan” thinks Julie doesn’t deserve/is good enough to be playing with them. They’re determined that she needs to go. #ProtectiveGhosts.

 Prompt 8: Hanging out with the boys has some perks (especially since they can now touch). With practice, the guys can do a lot more than just poof away. So, they decide to use more ghostly tricks on Julie in their set/show. Julie phasing through the boys like in Bright, teleporting her to different areas of the stage, helping her with magical costume changes?

 Prompt 9: Ray decides he needs to meet the boys, especially after that performance. If nothing else, he just wants to thank them for saving his daughter and his family. When he does meet them (and catches the little things they say about their families), he decides to officially/unofficially adopt them into the family. There is no way he can let any child (let alone these ones) think that no adult is in their corner.

 Prompt 10: The boys being involved with Julie’s family. Simple things like helping set up the dinner table (spots for all of them and Julie’s mom) and talking about their day. Cue, Tia Victoria showing up and being condescending/rude to the family. So, the boys decide a little payback is in order. Meanwhile, the Molinas just sit there and are like “What are you talking about? We didn’t see/hear anything?”.. #TheBoysDon’tPutUpWithThat

 Prompt 11: *Triggers - Physical Abuse* - Julie notices things are off with “Nick”. She can’t explain it, but she knows something isn’t right with him. He’s asking all sorts of questions about the Phantoms, asking who are they, how did you meet, how does it work, etc. Julie tries to brush him off with short answers, but, “Nick” is persistent and he wants what he wants. “Nick” eventually gets fed up with playing nice and grabs Julie’s arms hard enough to leave bruises. Julie gets away after a few moves (there’s no way that girl doesn’t have some killer martial arts moves). She shows up to practice with angry tears. The guys ask what’s wrong, but tells them it’s nothing and tries to start practice. Luke holds her arm and she hisses while taking a half step back. The guys are shocked when Luke pulls up her sleeve and they see the finger-shaped bruises. #ProtectiveGhosts #PissedOffGhosts

Prompt 12: *Triggers - Bullying* What if people did notice Julie talking to thin air? She’s shunned/bullied by everyone at school including Flynn (Julie never gets to sing “Flying Solo�� to her). It gets so bad that she runs away after an exceptionally bad day. The boys try to convince her to go home, but she refuses. Feeling guilty, they decide to watch out for her. So, her new life a mix of epic shows at night with the guys, but the reality is she’s still homeless on the streets of LA. Eventually her dad and brother find her (and with some words from the boys about their own regrets), they all take her home.

 Prompt 13: *Triggers - Bullying* One of Carrie’s dancers decides to pick on Julie about her mom, thinking it will put them in better standing with Carrie. Unfortunately for them, that type of “attack” on Julie was the one thing that Carrie won’t stand for. Because even if Carrie and Julie aren’t friends any more, they have a mutual/silent agreement that their moms are off limits. Carrie apologizes to Julie for the attack and says she knows better. They don’t magically end up best friends again, but they’re no longer enemies.

 Prompt 14: *Triggers - Murder* The line in “fit to kill” from “You Got Nothing To Lose” stirs up some ideas because what if Caleb was responsible for the boys deaths? After all, he does seem fixated on them... Maybe he just wants them as more ghosts for his club or as a part of his house band? Maybe it’s more their potential? Either way, the boys ruined his plans by not showing up for 25 years… Good thing he had Willie keep an eye out for them… But then again, he did bargain with Willie for his freedom in exchange for theirs.

 Prompt 15: *Triggers - Child Neglect & Abuse* What if Julie’s family were the opposite from cannon because they blame her for her mother’s death? … If only, Julie hadn’t needed a ride from voice lessons and a reckless driver was actually paying attention… Julie connects with the boys on another level since none of them have good families. They become each other’s found family instead.

 Prompt 16: There are consequences for using the likenesses of the deceased. What happens when Julie and the Phantoms get CEASE & DESIST notices from the boys’ families? What do they do since they can’t play/preform?

 Prompt 17: Julie and Flynn think it’s time that the boys got some new clothes and personal items. Queue ghostly shenanigans at the mall/stores with all three of them.

 Prompt 18: Actual Witch Julie! She meant to summon her mom (also a witch), but accidently summoned the guys. Oops. She tries again using part of “Wake Up” lyrics to talk to her mom, but it doesn’t go anywhere… Julie’s best gift is her voice, good thing she’s working on her enchanting skills.

 Prompt 19: *Triggers - Injury* Concussion – Julie has an accident and has some retrograde amnesia of the last few months, meaning she doesn’t remember meeting the guys. How do you explain to someone that you’re ghosts, but only you can see them unless you’re preforming together? “Like how?! That doesn’t make any sense?!” Just want the guys trying a couple of different ways to convince her, but Julie is being stubborn. Think first scene of them together, but more denial and more of “Stop talking to them. They’re not real. There’s no such thing as cute ghosts.”

 Prompt 20: Comic Con?! Julie and the Phantoms go to Comic Con (either as guests or maybe as performers?). They’re all super excited, but Reggie can’t contain himself. How can he with all the costumes, the artists, and the actors. Hello?! “There’s so much to see!” Plus, how much mischief can they get into? 😉

 Prompt 21: Rules/Boundaries – You know how Julie keeps mentioning boundaries and the guys keep breaking them? She decides to come up with a list to keep in the studio… Honestly, I would just like to see little moments where the guys keep breaking Julie’s rules. Could be a 5+1 fic, where most of them are comedic, but the last one is gut-wrenching?

 Prompt 22: What if Julie was more physically connected to the guys? Like when she’s sick, they’re sick, etc. And what if they start showing signs of aging like their hair getting longer as months go by? What does that mean?

 Prompt 23: Julie starts experiencing shooting chest pains. At first, she brushes it off, but they’re getting worse. During practice, she gets another one, only this time she can’t take in a breath. Can the boys help her?

 Prompt 24: When the guys are “preforming” at Caleb’s club, Julie goes looking for them. When she finds them, she can tell they’re in trouble and decides to crash the party. She helps free the guys and everyone else from Caleb’s clutches with a musical number of her own. Without the other ghosts feeding his abilities, Caleb fades away into nothing.

 Prompt 25: Birthdays – Would love to see everyone else’s birthday moments, but with Julie and the Molina family? Maybe a little angst since I don’t think Reggie or Alex’s family really celebrated theirs and here are the Molinas stepping up for some boys who are eternally 17?

 Prompt 26: *Triggers - Body Horror, Human Remains, Murder* The guys are feeling pain again, but it’s all over, and it feels - different and wrong. It takes a few days to find out why. On the news, are their photos. They’re bodies are being exhumed as their deaths have been reopened as possible homicides.

 Prompt 27: Band Life – Just a little cut scene where everyone is doing warm-ups. But, I really want to see the guys helping Alex stretch before (since apparently drummers can get terrible muscle aches/cramps).

 Prompt 28: Holidays – Just imagine the guys’ first holidays with Julie’s family. All the usual cheesiness, but must include a trip to the mountains and a snowball fight.

 Prompt 29: Sleepover – It’s late and the band decides to have a sleepover in the studio. After a bit, it turns very deep and emotional. It becomes a really eye-opening experience for Julie as she learns more about her bandmates and they her.

 Prompt 30: *Triggers - Allergic Reaction* Food - The boys are very protective of what the Molina family eats. I’m talking they will throw out, reheat, overcook food if the food is at all questionable. One day, they throw out Julie’s peanut butter and jelly sandwich “because the jam looked off”. So, they make her a peanut butter and fluff one, too bad that they didn’t know Julie’s allergic to corn (which can also be used to make marshmallows).

 Prompt 31: *Triggers - Cheating* The guys ask Julie what the situation is with Carrie and why she’s seems to be out to get her? Julie explains that they used to be best friends before Carrie’s mother cheated on her dad and Carrie caught her in the act. “After that, Carrie was gone from school one week and it was like her personality changed overnight into this plastic I’m-better-than-you robot. I tried talking to her, but she ignored me for months. Anytime I tried, she pretty much just harassed me to go away. Then my mom got sick and then she died. I just didn’t have the energy to keep trying.”

 Prompt 32: Julie singing in Spanish and the guys being in awe.

 Prompt 33: *Triggers - Death of a Parent & Grief* Rose’s death… How did she die? What were the Molinas like in the first year after her death?

 Prompt 34: Something where the Julie is being interviewed and has to describe the guys and they her?

Luke – Contagious, Sensitive, Intense

Reggie – Lovable, Goofball, Questionable

Alex – Loyal, Emotional, Careful

Julie – Gifted, Fiery, Thoughtful  

 Prompt 35: Luke singing “Unsaid Emily” acoustically for a show (Julie did reach out to the Pattersons beforehand).

 Prompt 36: *Triggers - Illness* Julie having to perform while she is seriously sick. The guys try to convince her to postpone, but she’s being stubborn. She continues the show until she literally collapses at the end of it. The guys are worried and take her home afterwards to recuperate.

 Prompt 37: I really want a protective Flynn fic where she doesn’t trust the boys after they ditch Julie and her at the dance. She makes them work hard to make it up to them.

 Prompt 38: *Triggers - Character Death* What if Rose was the one who found the guys after the rancid hotdogs and called 9-1-1?

 Prompt 39: *Triggers - Injury* The jolts happen to Julie instead of the guys. Despite the guys being the ones cursed, every jolt is felt by Julie instead and she gets weaker and weaker. What better blackmail and incentive to the guys need to join Caleb’s club?

 Prompt 40: *Triggers - Possession & Stalking* The guys notice possessed Nick stalking Julie at school and eventually her house/studio. #PhantomBodyguards

 Prompt 41: *Triggers - Bullying* What if Carrie witnessed Flynn and Julie being bullied by another student? Something in her snaps and she rips the bully a new one before helping Flynn and Julie.

 Prompt 42: With Julie’s help, Luke is able to track down Reggie’s and Alex’s families as a surprise/gift. He wants to give them the same closure that Julie gave to him.

 Prompt 43: Role reversal – After a performance, Julie is the one to poof out.

 Prompt 44: What if Julie was a medium (since birth) and was trying to talk to her mom, but can’t? Instead, she got the guys?

 Prompt 45: *Triggers - Physical Child Abuse, Child Emotional Abuse, Child Mental Abuse, Child Neglect* The boys’ lives are a lot darker than canon. Reggies’s are physically abusive, Alex’s are emotionally/mentally abusive, Luke’s are neglectful/never around. 3+1 (Molina family being awesome).

 Prompt 46: *Triggers - Suicidal Thoughts & Ideation* Reggie was suicidal before having found a family with Luke and Alex (and then Julie and her family). He looks back on where he was and where he is now. “I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.” And “All it takes is a beautiful fake smile to hide an injured soul and they will never notice how broken you really are.”– both Robin Williams

 Prompt 47: Julie is the new student at school, but the guys are still ghosts. How would it play out if no one knew Julie before “Bright”?

 Prompt 48: JATP are being interviewed (virtually) and the interviewer starts asking inappropriate questions about Julie and the guys’ relationship. Julie is clearly upset (as are the guys). It gets so bad, the guys decide to disconnect and refuse to continue. Afterwards, they cuddle Julie and talk about it.

 Prompt 49: A lifer from Caleb’s club sees a JATP performance and are not happy to be paying for an exclusive ghost experience only to find it available for free. As time goes on, more and more lifers are refusing to go to Caleb’s club until it’s an actual “ghost town”.

 Prompt 50: Bobby/Trevor is a lifer at Caleb’s club.

 Prompt 51: *Triggers - Murder* Bobby/Trevor made a deal with a ghost in 1995. Help him become famous now and in return, he will join his ghost club after his death. Too bad Bobby/Trevor didn’t read the fine print. He didn’t just sell his soul.

 Prompt 52: Battle of Wills – Julie goes to Caleb’s club and tricks him into letting the boys and Willie, by intimidating him with her “powers”. Something like, “If I can do this now as a lifer, I wonder what else could I do?” Caleb would then threaten her life and Julie would reply that she would just come back as an even more powerful ghost and make his afterlife a nightmare. Instead of his nightly parties, it’ll be nightly riots. Caleb eventually agrees to let the boys go in exchange that they (and Julie) never enter his club again. After being freed, they meet up back at the studio and the guys are in shock. They can’t believe she did that. Julie responds saying, she couldn’t just leave them behind. They’re her band, her family. Plus, it’s not like she has any actual powers that could take on Caleb… Or does she? #BADASSJULIE

 Prompt 53: *Triggers - Murder & Body Horror* What if Caleb took more than souls? Turns out he drains the life of the living to run his club, and then takes your soul as part of his deal. The drain isn’t a part of the deal, but rather a consequence of going to the club itself. The more often you go to get answers about the other side, the closer you are to joining it.

 Prompt 54: *Triggers - Murder* What if Julie was also a ghost? A terrified ghost who doesn’t remember how she died. Her mom is still alive and her family still lives in their house, but they’re more zombies than people. Julie can’t interact at all with them unless she’s playing with the guys. The guys try to help her remember as her family grieves. As time passes, Julie gets flashes of memory of her death or rather, her murder. She was killed in the studio by Bobby/Trevor after discovering he stole Sunset Curve’s songs. It isn’t the first time he’s killed…

 Prompt 55: *Triggers - Death of a Parent & Grief* Before Julie played their CD and the guys appeared, changing her life forever, she was just a girl grieving for her mom. One day, something sparks her to laugh. A laugh that makes her feel so light, that’s she’s floating only to crash down to earth when she realizes her mom won’t ever laugh like that again… Julie refuses to laugh if her mother can’t… Just want something where someone tells Julie that it’s ok to laugh again.

 Prompt 56: How did Alex and Luke find out about Jar Jar? 😉

 Prompt 57: *Triggers - Bullying* Carrie’s getting harassed by someone and breaks down after a Dirty Candi number. Julie sees it (or maybe Alex spots it and tells her) and puts a stop to it and defends Carrie and her performance. It leads to Carrie sticking up for Julie a couple of days/weeks later, and it slowly leads back to a road of friendship.

 Prompt 58: *Triggers - Possible Injury* (Before 1x9) In his excitement to catch ghosts, Carlos sets up a trap for the guys, but Julie gets caught in the crosshairs. Option A: She’s more annoyed then injured. Sibling hijinks ensues. Option B: She gets hurt and Carlos has to help her. Either way, the guys apologize for making her life harder and antagonizing Carlos.

 Prompt 59: *Triggers - Injury* Julie gets a concussion at school (I’m thinking gym class). She’s extremely confused, which the nurse warns is normal but also gives her a list of protocols to follow. Julie gets home and can’t see the guys, but she can hear them. She doesn’t understand what’s going on and gets very frustrated with them and herself. As she starts to cry, she asks for her mom.

 Prompt 60: *Triggers - Possession* You know how Flynn yells at demon and Carrie responds? What if Carrie was actually a demon? Think Buzzfeed Unsolved (fandom) head canon with Shane, a demon posing as a human, and Ryan, as the unsuspecting human.

 Prompt 61:  *Triggers - Medical Condition* Julie arrives home after school with a migraine that’s been building all day. Everything boils over when she steps into the kitchen and Ray’s cooking dinner. She heads right for him and seeks comfort. The guys are a bit lost, but are quiet as Ray whispers to Julie.

 Prompt 62: *Triggers - Character Death & Missing Characters* What if the guys don’t actually know how they died? And what if, their bodies were never found and that they’re still considered “missing”? How would that change things?

 Prompt 63: I can see this falling under Witch!Julie, but it doesn’t have to? Julie marked the boys by gifting them Dahlia pins (which they wear with pride) before they visit Caleb’s club. He goes to mark them on the night of the dance, but the stamp doesn’t “stick” and his other powers don’t work on them. He makes up some excuse, but he decides to investigate. He goes to the house and confronts Julie. He tries to pull on his usual bag of tricks, but they don’t work on her either. Caleb threatens her, “I’ll get them one way or another.” “I wouldn’t bet on it.” “Haven’t you heard, all bets on me?” “Yeah, the odds aren’t in your favor.” “Who do you think you are?!” “Julie Molina, from Julie and the Phantoms. You... obviously don’t get out much.” #FlusteredCaleb

 Prompt 64: After a couple of weeks of constant late-night rehearsals, gigs, and studying for finals, Julie can’t keep her head up during band practice. She keeps nodding off at the piano, blinking rapidly, and shaking herself to try to stay awake. The guys stop playing after the nth time Julie slows down or misses a cue. They decide that it’s time for her to go to bed. They drag her to her room and with strict instructions to change, go to bed, and that she has to sleep in tomorrow until noon.

 Prompt 65: Slang Exchange – Flynn and Julie teach the guys 2020’s slang while the guys teach them early 90’s slang. They each keep explaining more obscure and crazy words/phrases until it turns into a friendly competition of each era’s craziest terms.

 Prompt 66: In Julie’s dance class, they’re given their mid-term or final exam where each person must preform 3 different styles of dance with a partner. Julie asks if the dances can be performed with people outside the class or even multiple someone’s and the teacher agrees as long as the person or persons are there on the day of the exam. Julie asks the guys to help her since they have such distinct body moves/styles. Examples: Hip-Hop, Rumba, Salsa, Waltz, Cha-Cha, Swing, Tap, Foxtrot, Jive, Tango, etc.

 Prompt 67: *Triggers - Physical Child Abuse & Scarring* Julie walks into the studio after school and sees that only Reggie is there and he’s changing his shirt. It’s not an usual sight to have Luke or even Alex change shirts in front of her, but Reggie had always been a little shyer. When she sees his back, she now knows why. There are a lot of thick old scars near his spine. When she drops her bag in shock, Reggie gets spooked and poofs out. Julie then spends the next few hours anxiously waiting for him to come back. When Luke and Alex later poof in and see her distress, she explains what she saw. Luke and Alex exchange looks and Alex tells Luke to go talk to him while he explains things to Julie.

 Prompt 68: Ever notice the amount of jewelry the guys have? I would just like to see the stories behind how they got them, particularly their necklaces? My head cannon is that the necklaces are gifts from each other over the years.

 Prompt 69: *Triggers - Mental Health* Five times Julie can’t touch the boys when they needed comfort and the one time (and more), she can after the Orpheum show.

 Prompt 70: *Triggers - Mental Health* After Julie can touch the guys and after Ray and Carlos know about them, the Molina family decides to surprise them with their first family meal. The guys are super happy, but a little worried. The last two times they ate, things didn’t end well (the hotdogs and Caleb’s club). The idea of being able to food or being able to eat, feels… tarnished?... #FamilyComfort

 Prompt 71: JatP debuts a new song and they decide to switch things up, literally. One second everyone is in their normal position, the next everyone is playing a different instrument and killing it. For example, Alex on guitar, Julie on bass, Reggie on piano, Luke on drums.

 Prompt 72: *Triggers - Death of a Spouse* Can we have a Ray and Rose moment like Amelia and Dr. Harvey from Casper (the scene with the red dress)? One where they tell each other how much they love and miss each other?

 Prompt 73: *Triggers - Mental Health* During the day while Julie is at school, Luke is in Julie’s room. He knows he shouldn’t, but he’s been feeling off and being in her room makes him feel better. But, the more he looks over her pictures and reads through the writing on her desk (he learned his lesson about breaking her trust with looking in her dream box), the more he feels guilty when he can see all the good memories in them. He feels so guilty because it feels like everything wrong or that has gone wrong lately is his fault – running out on his parents, having the idea to eat the hotdogs, making Julie’s life difficult by making her lie to her family, needing to get revenge against Bobby/Trevor, which led them to Caleb and missing the dance, which breaks Julie’s trust, almost not making it to the Orpheum show… He just keeps spiraling until Alex and Reggie come looking for him.

 Prompt 74: After that magic hug, Julie takes note of the guys Orpheum outfits.

 Prompt 75: *Triggers - Mental Health* Empath!Julie. She feels things on a deeper level and can sense what other people are feeling. She channels her emotions through her music and it’s why it feels so alive. It’s why her family has been so worried about her not playing music for nearly a year. She was so shut down, they feared they would lose her too… When the guys show up, she isn’t ready to open herself up emotionally to them. It’s also why she can’t touch them. As time goes on and she opens a bit and she tries to touch them, it doesn’t work because she’s not strong enough yet. It’s only after “Stand Tall” that she allows herself to be vulnerable/strong enough at the same time that she can touch them.

 Prompt 76: During “Perfect Harmony”, when Luke says, “Step into my world”, Julie actually steps into the ghost world. After that, she can see more than just the guys and now sees ghosts everywhere.

 Prompt 77: *Triggers - Food Hoarding & Child Neglect* The guys were food starved before the hotdogs. Reggie’s family was poor and couldn’t afford enough good food at home. Luke didn’t have much money for food after running away from home nearly six months before he died. Alex wasn’t welcome at home, let alone the dinner table.

 Prompt 78: *Triggers - Graphic Murder, Possession, Medical Condition, Possible Medical Disability* This one is gruesome and it’s based on a nightmare… Caleb possesses Nick a little earlier than cannon. He still goes over to the Molina’s with flowers and rings the doorbell. When Julie opens the door, he slashes her throat and then stabs her. He runs as Julie staggers with her hands on her throat and torso. Ray hears her struggles and rushes over, yelling for Carlos to call 9-1-1. The guys try to keep Julie calm and in the present. They follow the Molina’s to the hospital, where Julie is placed in a coma. She’ll live, but her ability to talk, let alone sing is unknown. Meanwhile, the police think it was a crazy fan because of the dropped flowers.

 Prompt 79: *Triggers - Body Horror* What if Caleb’s stamp only caused the guys pain if they’re playing their instruments or preforming outside of his club? Being unable to perform is excruciating, but spending their afterlives as Caleb’s puppets isn’t enough/real either. Which leads to Luke’s words, “No music is worth making Julie, if we’re not making it with you.”

 Prompt 80: *Triggers - Body Horror & Nightmares* Caleb haunts Julie’s nightmares and causes her to sleepwalk into danger. Think the nightmare scene in “Anastasia” where Anya nearly jumps off the ship thinking she’s jumping into a lake to see her family. Who/what does Julie see? Who/what wakes her?

 Prompt 81: Halloween special! The Molina family are a bunch of werewolves. Can you imagine the craziness when the guys realize what they are? The questions they might ask (particularly with Alex’s “softer touch”)?

 Prompt 82: *Triggers - Mental Health* Reggie’s biggest fear is being alone and the absolute worst thing you can do is ignore him. His parents used to do it all the time to punish him. So much that, he felt like a ghost long before he died. The only thing that kept him afloat were the guys, and now Julie with her family… After a bad day of flashbacks of his old life, all he wants is to be with his new family.

 Prompt 83: *Triggers - Child Neglect, Child Mental Abuse, Child Emotional Abuse, Mental Health, & Anxiety* The feeling of not being enough, let alone good enough is something that haunts Alex constantly. He was a good kid, who had good grades, never talked back or caused trouble. He helped out around the house and did everything his parents asked of him… So, why wasn’t he enough for them?

 Prompt 84: *Triggers - Mental Health* Julie comes home upset and runs into Alex. He stops her and talks to her. Over time, he calms her down enough to explain what happened. She does and he hugs her as he tells her that she can always come to him. After all, a big brother always looks after their little sister.

 Prompt 85: *Triggers - Body Injury/Horror* Some thing a little different? What if the guys didn’t know how they died (or anything about their past really)? What if they only knew their music/instruments, their friendship, their first names, and not much else? It’s pretty much a foggy mist when they push too hard. Julie has to play detective to figure out who the guys were and what happened to them. She still loves music, but she’s not ready to play/sing quite yet. I just imagine Julie in the studio trying to piece together bits and pieces of information to dig into the mystery of who the guys were/are.

 Prompt 86: Artist!Julie. She’s obviously a creative soul and I can just see her drawing the guys in their element. And also sketching them how she sees them in normal everyday activities in their afterlives.

 Prompt 87: Julie walks in on the guys hanging out with her family. She realizes that the guys are more than family to just her. Her family is their family too and she loves them all the more for it. Later, she gives the guys extra hugs/cuddles.

 Prompt 88: *Triggers - Stalking* After a gig, Julie is harassed outside by a creep. The guys poof to her wondering what the hold up is. They end up scaring the creep off by becoming visible and corporeal. The creep is terrified.

 Prompt 89: Willie teaching Alex the choreography to “The Other Side of Hollywood”. As Alex opens up and allows himself to relax, he teaches Willie some dance moves.

 Prompt 90: The guys help Julie and Flynn study for finals. Luke – English and Music Theory, Reggie – Calculus and Chemistry, Alex – Social Studies and History

 Prompt 91: *Triggers - Mental Health* Reggie overhears Julie talking to Flynn on the phone about being a waste and thinks they’re talking about him… He’s obviously very upset and decides to leave, but not before leaving goodbye notes/gifts for everyone. It takes over a day for Luke and Alex to track him down and bring him home.

 Prompt 92: *Triggers - Illness & Mental Health* Burnt Out!Julie. Suffering dehydration, exhaustion, and just feeling overwhelmed, Julie isn’t sure how much more she can take. The guys step up and force her to take a break. They may be ghosts (sorta), but she’s still human and she needs to rest.

 Prompt 93: During a Molina family dinner, the guys are curious to what they’re having and Julie replies it’s ____, her mom’s favorite dish. The conversation stalls, and the guys offer up some of their favorite dishes (and least favorite) to help ease the tension.

 Prompt 94: *Triggers - Racism/Sexism & Mental Health* Someone says something bad or gives a backhanded compliment to Julie about her looks, but compliments the guys. The guys are horrified/disgusted with that person.

 Prompt 95: Family Game Night – The Molina family, Flynn, and 3 ghosts play classic board games (think Twister, Monopoly, Payday, Clue, Uno, Pictionary, Apples to Apples, Taboo, Jenga). I just keep imagining Alex with his “let someone with a softer touch” and being the most competitive one.

 Prompt 96: *Triggers - Mental Health* Julie writes a song about missed opportunities in honor of the guys. The first time she plays it for them, the guys just break down. After that, they decide it needs to be part of their set list with an acoustic version.

 Prompt 97: For a school project, Julie has to take a play and then write a song about it, however, they’re not allowed to say which play it is or name any characters. After the songs are presented, the class gets to guess what play it is for extra credit. She’s given Romeo and Juliet… And she knows exactly what to write about.

 Prompt 98: Alex being introduced to Adam Lambert. That’s it, that’s the prompt.

 Prompt 99: *Triggers - Mental Health* When Julie calls Luke out for only thinking about himself before walking away, her words hit a lot harder than in cannon. Luke poofs away and breaks down because he knows she’s right… Because all he can think about right now is how much he misses his parents… Just want more expansion from Luke’s POV.

 Prompt 100: *Triggers - Possession & Injury* When Nick starts acting weird, Julie grabs his arm to get his attentions. She let’s go immediately because her hand feels like it’s on fire as Nick screams in pain. Something is not right… She realizes it’s not Nick and forces Caleb to release him. Julie and Caleb both feel the burning pain, but Caleb gives up first. He’s forgotten what actual pain felt like and vacates Nick’s body.

[alphacrone]

title: for better or for worse pairing(s): Zen & Kiki, Zen & Kiki & Mitsuhide tags: au - canon divergence, arranged marriage, manga spoilers summary:

In a world where Zen never meets Shirayuki, he is still expected to marry. Unfortunately, Kiki is the best choice among his suitors.

Or, Zen has many awkward conversations and realizes something about love.

-

Zen Wistalia, second prince of Clarines, was 20 years of age when his brother commanded him to marry. 

It wasn’t that Zen misliked women, or even that he had grand dreams of finding true love. But Zen had never been comfortable in the company of noble ladies, who did not share his interests in sword fighting and horseback riding through the mountains. He loved his mother dearly and looked up to Queen Haki like an older sister, but the only woman who’d ever truly understood him was Kiki and she, unfortunately, was not an option. 

“I don’t understand the issue,” Izana said, only the barest hint of frustration in his tone. “Lady Kiki is one of your closest aides and a dear friend, is she not? That is a better choice than most in our position ever have.” 

Zen clenched his jaw. “She is…” he hedged. 

“Then it is her appearance?” Izana continued, casting his eyes down to the papers on his desk. “She’s grown lovelier since the days of being mistaken for a boy. But perhaps you prefer a brunette, or something else entirely…” 

“Kiki is very beautiful,” Zen snapped, more out of habit than anything. He’d grown very protective of her when she first arrived at the palace, and there had been more than a few hushed comments on her boyish appearance. “That’s not the issue.” 

“Then, my dear brother,” Izana sighed, bringing a few slender fingers to press at his temples. “What is the issue? I thought, of all the acceptable candidates, Kiki would be the best option—no, the only option. You’ve refused marriage interviews with any other lady. Please.” He cast a tired gaze at Zen. “Enlighten me.” 

“She’s in love with Mitsuhide.” 

Zen smacked a hand over his mouth, horrified. He hadn’t meant to tell his brother anything of the sort. 

Izana blinked once. Twice. Then he closed his eyes and sighed. 

“Is that all?” 

“What?” Zen froze, mouth agape. “What do you mean? I couldn’t do that to her or Mitsuhide.” 

“What is it you would be doing to either of them?” Izana asked, idly picking up one of his papers and examining the contents. “It’s not as if they are ever going to marry.” 

Zen pinched the bridge of his nose. “You don’t know that! When Kiki returns to take her father’s place-” 

“Kiki has already proposed to Mitsuhide,” Izana said without looking away from the document, reaching out to grab a pen. “And he has already rejected her.” 

It was said, for many years later, that every soul within a mile radius of the palace heard Zen’s strangled cry that day.

“He did what?! ” Zen slammed his hands down on Izana’s desk, scattering papers everywhere. Izana glared at him. “Why did he- How could he- Why didn’t she tell me?!”

“I didn’t ask,” Izana said drily. “I was quite too busy discussing the logistics of an heir marrying a crown prince with her and Lord Seiran.” 

“Kiki knows about this ?!” Zen slammed his hands down again, knocking over an inkwell. Izana stood swiftly, righting the bottle and tossing a handkerchief onto the spilled ink to soak it up before it could stain his work. 

“Of course she does,” Izana snapped, tossing a few books to the ground, out of harm’s way. “Because, unlike you , she understands her duties to her family and to her country. If you are to ask for her hand in marriage, Lady Kiki Seiran is ready to accept.” 

The blood in his veins turned to ice and Zen’s hands went cold and numb. Kiki, the third friend he’d ever had, the only woman who’d ever treated him as a peer, was willing to marry him. For life! For her whole life, she’d- she’d what? Support him? Work beside him? Dance with him at balls and parties? She did all of those things already, usually with a sword in hand. Perhaps…

But there were other things that came with marriage, things that resulted in heirs . Zen’s face burned at the idea of seeing his friend naked, of doing... things with her. He’d never even kissed a girl before, and now he would have to- he shook his head to rid himself of the thought. 

“This is my ultimatum, Zen,” Izana said, voice heavy with an unleashed sigh.  “Either make Kiki your fiancé, or I will choose another woman for you.” 

Zen buried his face in his hands, too overcome to respond immediately. Finally, after a long, torturous moment of silence, he nodded. “Okay,” Zen whispered. “Alright. I’ll talk to Kiki.” 

Izana tilted back his head, shoulders drooping as if he’d just set down a heavy burden. “Thank you,” he said, and it sounded sincere. “I do think you will find happiness in each other.” 

“Thank you, brother,” Zen said. He thought of his sister-in-law, the way she threw everything she had into her duties, the way her eyes lit up when she caressed the growing roundness of her belly. Haki certainly had not been in love with Izana when they’d said their vows, but every day the two of them worked together to find small joys in their marriage. 

With a tense bow, Zen left the King’s office, hurrying away to his own wing of the palace. He needed to talk to Kiki, then yell at Mitsuhide, then- 

Zen huffed in frustration. Were he a coward, he’d have let his brother choose someone—anyone—else and live with the consequences. But Zen was too bullheaded to let his brother make that decision for him, and so his stubbornness would trump the terror he felt at the idea of asking Kiki to marry him. 

“Zen!” 

That voice...was not one Zen wanted to hear just now. He turned to see Mitsuhide approach and he felt all his earlier anger well up in him. 

“ You ,” he hissed. “You idiot !” 

Mitsuhide stopped in his tracks, hands raised in defense immediately. “What? What did I-”

“You-! Kiki proposed to you?!” Zen jabbed a finger in Mitsuhide’s face. “And you rejected her ?!” 

His aide’s eyes grew wide. “I-I-” He grimaced. “Yes. I did.” 

Zen stared at him until Mitsuhide averted his gaze. He knew the man before him could be thick at times, even downright stupid, but this …

“Don’t bully him, Zen. He’ll cry.” 

Startled, Zen jumped as Kiki approached, face far too placid for someone approaching the man who’d turned her down and the man who was reluctantly planning to propose. Zen frowned. “I think he deserves to cry a little.” 

“You know, I asked King Izana to let me tell you about this,” she said with a sigh. “I assume you’ve just come from speaking with him?” 

“Yeah,” Zen said. “I, uh. I think we need to talk?” Despite himself, Zen felt his face turning pink. Mitsuhide clearly noticed, because the fear in his eyes turned to concern. 

“Is everything okay?” he asked, looking between Zen and Kiki. 

Kiki nodded, still far too stoic. “Zen is going to propose to me, I believe.” 

The silence that fell was staggering. Zen’s face burned like he’d stuck his head in an oven. Mitsuhide’s eyes grew comically large. Kiki, the demon she apparently was, had the gall to smile, just a little. 

“Y-y-you-” Mitsuhide sputtered. “P-p-pro-pro-pose?”

Kiki looked at Zen. “Am I mistaken? The King seemed certain you’d choose me over a stranger.” 

“I…” Zen rubbed at his forehead. “I didn’t imagine Mitsuhide would be here for this conversation.” 

“Really?” Kiki looked genuinely surprised. “I imagined he would be here for every step of our marriage.” 

Despite his better judgement, Zen asked, “ Every step?” 

That, it seemed, was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Kiki’s impassive stare turned dark. Mitsuhide doubled over, hyperventilating. The hallway was suspiciously devoid of staff.

“That’s not what I meant!” Zen exclaimed, gripping at his hair. “I just- fuck .” 

“Maybe I should leave the two of you to talk,” Kiki said, slapping Mitsuhide on the back as he struggled for air. 

“No,” Zen groaned. He could feel a headache forming in the base of his skull. “No, you and I need to talk about this.” 

“What is there to discuss?” Kiki asked. “It would be mutually beneficial for us to marry. Your brother and my father approve. We don’t hate each other. It seems logical.” 

“Don’t you find it weird?” Zen asked, his voice shooting up an octave. Next to him, Mitsuhide was still wheezing, so Zen joined Kiki in pounding on the man’s back. “The idea of marrying me ?” 

“Not particularly,” Kiki said with a shrug. “I’ve always known I would probably need to marry for political benefit, not love. Since my love belongs to Mitsuhide, who can’t return it, then I’d rather marry someone I care about than someone I don’t.” 

The sound Mitsuhide made sounded like a cross between a dying cat and breaking steel. Zen sighed and moved to rubbing comforting circles in Mitsuhide’s back. 

“Okay, but what about the...intimate parts of marriage? Heirs will be expected…” 

“Zen.” Kiki cast him an incredulous look. “Did no one prepare you for that when you were younger? Does Mitsuhide need to give you the talk? He can explain how it works.” 

“I know how it works!” Zen protested. “But isn’t it weird, doing it with someone you don’t...love? Love like that?” 

“I have three cousins, all girls,” Kiki said, hand stilling on Mitsuhide’s back. “All of them married much younger than me, all to strangers. They all have children now. As nobles, we are raised with the understanding that we will have to copulate with someone for whom we bear no feelings.” 

Shame and embarrassment stung the back of Zen’s throat. “So you...aren’t scared?” 

Kiki’s gaze softened. “Of course not. It’s you .” 

“ I’m scared,” Zen admitted, pouting a little. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship.” 

“Aww…” Mitsuhide cooed. Zen smacked the back of his head, causing him to fall to the ground. 

“It would take more than sex to do that, Zen,” Kiki said drily. 

Zen looked down at his feet. “You’re right,” he said. “But things will change.” 

“They will,” she agreed. “But then, they always do.” 

Zen swallowed back his worries and smiled, genuinely. Then, unceremoniously shoving Mitsuhide out of the way, he bent down on one knee, reaching out for Kiki’s hand. She gave it to him, returning his smile. 

“Kiki Seiran, would you do me the pleasure of becoming my wife?” 

“Why Prince Zen,” she deadpanned. “I thought you’d never ask.” 

Zen pinched her arm in retaliation, then placed a chaste kiss to the back of her hand.  Kiki turned her grip to haul him back to two feet, and they stood there for a moment, hands clasped in a familiar gesture of comradery.  This was what their relationship was built on: trust, loyalty, and years watching each others’ backs. If it was like this , Zen thought, then maybe marriage wasn’t so scary. 

A loud, watery sniff came from the floor, and both turned to see Mitsuhide watching them with emotional, teary eyes. “You guys ,” he said, then pulled them both into a tight hug. “You’re both- Zen, you’re so grown .”

“Oh, don’t even ,” Zen sniped, trying to wriggle free. “I’m still angry with you. Kiki, did he make you cry? Be honest with me, I’ll put him to work in the stables if he did.” 

Kiki cast a look between the two men. “I did find myself getting a little misty-eyed, now that you mention it.” 

Mitsuhide gasped. “You did not -” Then grunted as Zen pulled him into a chokehold. “ Kiki- help-” 

“Oh, no,” Kiki said. “I consider this a wedding present from my fiancé. I’d like to see how this fight ends.” 

Zen laughed and let Mitsuhide break his grip, then yelped as the older man lifted him off the ground. Kiki hid a smile behind her hand, watching her closest friends wrestle, and Zen felt a weight lift from his chest. 

It wasn’t a storybook romance, this love of theirs; it wasn’t a romance at all. But when Zen was with Kiki and Mitsuhide his world was soft and warm and safe. These were his friends, the people he loved most in the world, and while their dynamics would change and relationships would grow, this —the family he’d found for himself—would be the only love story he’d ever need. 

[nefariouscryptid]

here's a fun one: dare you to do the entirety of that list with a character of your choice >:3c

Gotta do it with my boy Peter!

1. What is one word to shut them up?

Murray

2. What is the thing they feel the most guilty about?

He’s not torn up about it or anything but he feels bad about what happened to Mary, or what could of happened to her.

3. What is the worst pain they’ve ever experienced?

Getting your face and eye slashed open is pretty painful.

4. Describe their worst nightmare.

With his job being kidnapped and tortured is pretty plausible. He thinks about that one a lot.

5. List 3 fears; one “surface level” fear, one “repressed” fear, and one “deep dark” fear.

Surface: the ocean

Repressed: being taken advantage of without his knowing. Reminds him of his childhood.

Deep Dark: losing Jason in any form. He’s be a broken man left to his own devices, and his own safety would be completely compromised.

6. What is something that never fails to make them feel sick?

Gunshot wounds and deep cuts. He cringes at those.

7. What feature (physical or otherwise) do they hate most about themselves?

Physically he’s not a big fan of the scars he has or his general face structure but it’s not enough to keep him up at night. Mentally he doesn’t like how he gets when triggered and how easily it is to trigger him.

8. Do they have anything that triggers them?

Certain physical sensations but mainly what others do to him, such as rubbing their thumb on his hand, whispering behind him into his ear, stroking his hair while he’s standing, and certain phrases. If a woman talks seductively to him it’s easy for him to get triggered, but when men do it it’s a lot less frequent unless certain phrases are said. Country music is a big no go but he can listen to old country.

9. What is their greatest physical weakness?

He’s half blind and slowly going blind in the other eye

10. What is their greatest mental weakness?

How willing he is to throw everything away for someone (his Jason) and his apathy after the accident makes him blind to potential dangers.

11. Do they have any vices?

Smokes a lot of weed, used to be a heavy drinker but quit, did a lot of coke and before Durante starts he had just managed to escape a meth addiction.

12. Have they ever done something illegal? What was it?

His whole life is illegal. His worst crime would have to be aiding in terrorism

13. Which of the 7 Deadly Sins best describes them?

Greed and lust

14. Are they prone to outbursts (of violence, extreme emotion… exc… )?

Yes but he’s quick to calm himself down, and Jason can calm him near instantly.

15. Who do they hate the most?

Kind of hard to say, he hates a lot of people. He hates his parents but he’s since moved on as much as one could from them, he hates Anahii but he finds ways to tolerate her existence, and he hates Ivan for what he did to him but his breakdown made it impossible for him to really plan any retaliation other then killing his wife.

16. Is there anyone who makes them feel inferior?

Not that I can think of

17. What sound always gives them a headache?

Women’s voices lol. Mainly naggy ones.

18. Is there a certain flavor that disgusts them?

Hates bitterness

19. Do they consider themselves ugly?

Honestly yes, sees himself as a butterface.

20. Do they consider themselves unloveable?

Yes but it’s manifested and internalized more subtly and masked.

21. What is something that causes them great anxiety?

Broken glass and lack of contact with people he needs to be with.

22. Do they have any mental illnesses?

I’m not going to diagnose him specifically with anything. But short answer yes a lot.

23. Have they ever been assaulted/abused/raped?

Raped multiple times by his mom as a child, beaten by his dad, and you could call his and Anahiis marriage abusive.

24. Do they fear the possibility of being assaulted/abused/raped?

He feels he can defend himself better and stay out of situations where that would happen but it’s in the back of his head.

25. Have they ever been betrayed by someone they thought they could trust?

His parents

26. Have they ever been seriously injured?

Other then his face he has been shot before in the chest.

27. How many times have they been in the hospital?

About 7 times not including doctor visits after an injury (checkups)

28. Is there a certain type of person that disgusts them?

There isn’t really any person that disgusts him on a moral aspect. There’s people that he thinks are absolutely retarded and blind, but no one really makes him recoil.

29. Does what they cannot see scare them?

No, he pretty much knows it all

30. Have they ever been bullied?

Yes a lot in his school years.

31. Do they have self-confidence or self-image issues?

Yes but it doesn’t stop him from putting on a facade. Like I said early, it manifests differently.

32. Do they have a bad relationship with their parents?

He wishes he killed them.

33. Have they ever been in a relationship that didn’t work out so well?

Anahii lol

34. Have they ever self harmed?

Yes

35. If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be?

If he can’t change the whole lot he won’t change any.

36. Are they in control of their emotions, or are their emotions in control of them?

He’s in control of his emotions for the most part.

37. Have they ever had their freedom taken away?

Sort of. He’s been in many holding cells and was in jail at one point.

38. Have they ever been imprisoned?

Yes

39. Have they ever been accused of something they didn’t do?

Many times but he’s been able to prove his innocence

40. Do they often blame themselves for other people’s problems?

Depends on the situation. He won’t blame himself he the problem can’t be directly linked to him.

41. Do they get sick often?

He gets eye infections sometimes but not much.

42. Are they comfortable with where they are in life?

Fuck no lol but least he’s well off financially

43. Do they wish that they could change their pasts?

Doesn’t do him good to do so, so no

44. What’s one thing they wish they could do more often, but can’t?

Take a break. He’s love to run away from his life with Jason but he knows they’re both too greedy to do so, even without being trapped.

45. What is the emotion they most commonly experience?

I would say apathy but it’s hard to explain. Other then that, yearning.

46. Have they ever contemplated suicide?

He’s attempted a few times in his life.

47. Have they ever gone so far as to attempt suicide?

Yes

48. Is there anyone that they would willingly kill?

His parents, Ivan if his job allowed it, Anahii if he’d have a chance, literally anyone Jason dates, whoever took Mary

49. If [name] was put into ______ situation, they’d rather die than live to see it through.

If Peter had to see Jason die, get tortured, have to kill him, or any other variation.

50. Create your own!

Would history repeat itself if he had children?

He’s observant and understands himself enough to see the patterns of his parents in him. Since he would love his children deeply he would be able to stop himself from being like his parents towards them, but he wouldn’t be perfect.

[smolbeanethel]

Ashton (Age: 8)

- Was an only child. It was a miracle that he was even born at all with every miscarriage his mother would have. It was believed that she wouldn’t be able to have children yet she did... Only she had wanted a girl, not a boy.

- While his mother chose to neglect and ignore his existence, his father chose to take out all of his frustrations on the boy. It had really only been physical at that point.

- This changed when he opted to sexually abuse the boy. His father had his own issues and problems with himself, showing more disgust towards himself rather than at Ashton- Ashton was just a vulnerable outlet to take all that stress and rage out on. 

- His first ever crush was his own father too. His feelings kinda warping to the point where he didn’t mind if his father would beat or berate him, anything, it never mattered to Ashton anymore. He was getting attention? And being punished like he believes he should be.

- This now just made his father despise him even more.

- Ashton only really had two friends at the time- the little girl in the attic from his neighbor’s house- and the boy who’d always come to play with him through his bedroom window.

- Always bruised super easily.

- He’s learned to associate abuse as attention. If he’s being beaten (or more) then at-least someone is focusing on him.

- Because of his mother’s neglect and occasional comment about him not deserving to be born- he firmly believes he needs to be punished, he’s upset his mother? Clearly upset his father too- it’s only fair that he gets treated poorly? His existence is a crime- anyone should be allowed to harm him.

Theme song: Disperse

Ashton (Age: 16)

- His father died when Ashton hit the age of sixteen, leaving him feeling hollow and kinda unsure what to do. His mother’s silence (punishment) was kinda deafening, he always felt alone around her.

- But that was the age in which she kicked him out, she didn’t want to see his face anymore. Even claiming that she wishes he’d die in a ditch somewhere, maybe all the drugs and alcohol will slowly do him in. He wouldn’t be missed.

- His addiction to drinking and taking drugs had only gotten worse, no matter how many times Alexander would try to get him to stop. There was just no helping Ashton, this was the only thing making Ashton hang on- he would’ve killed himself much sooner if he let them go.

- Ashton did manage to get himself a job after pushing through with his classes, he’d become a nurse’s aide/aide. But that was thanks to Alexander not allowing him to give up on that, soon even Sonia was helping to make sure he stuck around too.

- Doesn’t bother to talk to his mother much, he knows she doesn’t want to see him anyway- she made it clear that she’d rather see him dead.

- At this age, he was more prone to his emotional outbursts but they were only ever harmful to himself- bordering on severely bringing himself pain. It has only gotten worse as he’s gotten older.

Amelia (Age: 10) 

- Actually used to really adore her mother, she was pretty much stuck to her mother’s aide 24/7- much to her mother’s delight as the two loved to play games together and paly outside.

- Used to love watching her bio father paint, he was striving to become a famous artist- and used to love painting whenever Meghan and Amelia were outside, to him the sight was beautiful, especially the outdoors.

- Her father eventually had gotten very sick, he had ended up passing away a few months later. From there, everything had changed.

- Amelia was still close to her mother though. Always tried to cheer her mother up whenever she felt that her mother was upset, she was missing her father too, after all. 

- New father’s eventually came and went. Amelia was never too fond of them either. 

- One stuck around much longer but he was never interested in Meghan, instead focusing his interest on Amelia- one night he had gone way too far and ended up sexually abusing the girl too, threatening to kill her mother if she even uttered what he had done to her, she only wanted to protect her mother, so she had no choice but to accept this.

- Part of her had grown cold and distant with her mother.

- This abuse continued way into her teenage years until she just adapts to enjoying it, even starting up her own ways to earn money.

Theme song: Memories

Amelia (Age: 16)

- Despite being so young, Amelia had grown into being sexually active and started her business off slowly during these years. All the while, she never told her mother anything, leaving her mother in the dark.

- She continued to sleep with all of her mother’s husbands and wives, only a few truly seemed to care for Meghan, and never sought out anything with Amelia, she left it at that. 

- Part of her was unsure whether or not she hated her mother but she knows she resents her.

- Gotten into smoking and drinking alcohol. It helped give her a sense of control over herself.

- Pretty decent at lying at this age too.

- Got into plenty of arguments with her mother too, she had said some pretty harsh stuff and even made her mother cry. It didn’t feel good but she felt like she needed to lash out.

- Stolen quite a bit too, though it was always just money or one of her step parent’s things of alcohol.

Sonia (Age: 13)

- Sonia was the older half sister to two younger brothers and one younger sister. Her father had left her mother right as she found out she was pregnant with Sonia.

- Her mother had grown to blame this all on Sonia, the love of her life had left her behind just because this brat was born. Her hatred for Sonia was always made clear, she was never as affectionate with Sonia as she was with her younger siblings, and she always lashed out at Sonia.

- She’d resorted to kicking Sonia in the stomach many times. Even slapping and burning the girl with her cigarette whenever she got the chance. It had gotten to the point where Sonia had started to wonder if she should’ve never been born at all.

- Eventually she was locked away in the attic, whenever she would come home from school, she would be sent up there, just so her mother wouldn’t have to see her or hear her voice.

- Her mother had hated hearing her so much that she wanted the girl to stay quiet whenever she was in her presence, whispering never made her happy. She didn’t want to hear the girl period.

- Sonia was the girl in the attic that Ashton had befriended, though they had never spoken a word to each-other. He had done his best to write out his messages to her, pressing them to his window for her to see- eventually she had started to do the same.

- Always came to school all bruised and upset, she wouldn’t tell her teachers anything, she just kept it all in.

- The only time she ever might’ve felt love was when her grandparents would stop by to visit their grandchildren. They’d never hated her. Even gave her a music box that she still cherishes.

Theme song: The Empty Doll

Sonia (Age: 21)

- She thought that if she succeeded in school, did everything she was told, and got into college- that her mother would finally love and accept her. Yet that turned out to be all for nothing.

- The only way her mother would ever be happy, is if Sonia were to die somehow- in her own words too.

- Now she has moved far away from her mother and step father, she tries not to think of them but part of her still feels pained. She only wanted to be loved. She wanted to be treated fairly.

- Tries to not get angry but... she just can’t keep it in all of the time.

- Part of her wonders if it is even possible to love her, hence why she tends to keep herself guarded and finds it hard to talk to others- especially when she was only ever met with judgement from those her age.

- Used to be friends with Amelia but... Marx kinda ruined that when he had sexually abused Sonia while Amelia was away. She had tried to tell Amelia but... that didn’t go well.

- Still friends with Ashton, kinda spoils him when he stops by the bakery she works at. He’s her first ever friend, she feels attached to him in some form.

Marx (Age: 11)

- Marx was always a problem child. His own mother and father thought the same too, they found it hard to deal with him at times. He only ever wanted things to go his way and hated being out of control.

- He had to be taken to anger management as he would lash out and hurt his mother every single time. They thought he had changed, and maybe he did, but he only ever learned to manipulate his parents.

- Never was kind to kids his age, and if they told his parents, he’d just warp it to make himself look like the victim. That the kids were just bullying him because he was smaller than them. In truth, he was the one being a bully.

- Even as he child, he liked having control and power over others. Marx took joy out of intimidating others and making them do things they didn’t want to do, it amused him greatly.

- To his parents though, he seemed liked a well behaved boy, he had changed, he only ever wanted to make them happy now. Make up for hurting them like he used to. What a huge lie that was. 

- Marx was still a jerk as a child, and still a jerk now that he’s an adult. That never changed, he just knows how to hide it well.

Theme Song: Hate

Marx (Age: 24)

- Inherited his father’s business at the age of 24, he had been trained to properly run the place and knew how to run the place. It made his father super proud of him, thinking he left the business in good hands.

- It was, for the most part. But Marx also had another job, he was part of gang that kinda sought to terrorize innocent people. He’d gang up on them while they were alone- and it would go from there.

- Likes to make girls and boys cry- he gets a kick out of it. Gives him a sense of power- he’s completely sadistic towards them and treats them like he owns them. In his eyes, he does own them.

- Spends his money on those he’s with, he still acted like a sugar daddy- but like how it is now, his money being given meant sexual favors would have to be returned.

- Still keeps up the aura of a gentleman around his parents yet he’s far from being a gentleman. 

- Money doesn’t really matter to him. He’s always had money on hand, who cares if he decides to throw it around? It gets him what he wants in the end? People love money, he loves sex.

Meghan (Age: 12)

- Grew up in a pretty loving household, her parents had always been super kind to her.

- Loved visiting her grandparents house, they had this beautiful butterfly pantry/house, the butterflies and flowers that were inside, always left her in awe. She loved them so much.

- Met her first love too, they had started as childhood friends which soon turned to lovers as they got older. The two were always so inseparable, even as they’d go outside. He’d follow her outside and claim he would act as her knight, she was his princess. She always humored him with this too.

-  Always super honest.

- Loved going to church with her parents (and sometimes grandparents).

- Spent most of her Sundays baking with her mother and grandmother. They always had dinner together, and would bake a dessert to go along with their meal.

- Had a silly sense of humor back then and still kinda does. 

- Was better with tending to flowers than her mother, who always ended up killing her plants. It always left the girl to lecture her mother and teach her how to take care of them. It never really worked out.

Theme song: Winter lullaby

Meghan (Age: 25)

- Meghan was married by the time she was 25, married her childhood friend and was pretty happy with her life.

- While he was striving to be an aspiring artist, she was running a flower shop. She never stopped supporting her husband either, was always quick to rush to his side whenever he was being hard on himself, or was about to give up.

- Wanted to make her own butterfly pantry/house, having seen her grandparent’s one always was a huge inspiration for her.

- When she got pregnant with Amelia, she had opted to stay home. Started working on setting that up whilst also setting up Amelia’s room. Meghan was overjoyed at thought of being a mother, she’d wanted to start a family of her own too.

- Continued to support her husband even during her later terms of pregnancy- she never wanted him to take his stress out on himself, or for him to simply give up on his dreams. She wouldn’t stand for that,

- Her family life was perfect after Amelia was born, the three would spend so much time together. They’d visit family, go to parks, to to church, and would continue to bake and eat together just like Meghan’s family had done with her. She wanted Amelia to experience the same things too.

- Losing her husband had been hard on her, she never thought she would lose him yet lost him anyway. She’d try to stay strong for Amelia but it was always hard.

- Everything changed, she’d found love in others and yet- they always left. Her relationship with Amelia had gone cold and distant, Meghan had tried to get to the bottom of it but Amelia never let her.

- Now, she’s married to Marx, and deals with the brunt of his abuse each time. As well, as the knowledge that her daughter is now sleeping with everyone she manages to get with. She feels lost.

Alexander (Age: 8)

- Alexander had to grow up fast for his parents. Being the eldest, a lot was expected out of him. He couldn’t afford to spend him time on useless things, he could only do what he was told to do, and what was set out for him.

- Everything was decided for Alexander, what he would learn, what he would be doing for the entire day, what he would eat, and how much he would eat, etc. He never had much control over his life which frustrated him a lot.

- The time he met Ashton, was the first time he had ever chosen to do something for himself- he’d sneak out each time to come play with the other. Even if it could only be done through Ashton’s bedroom window, and it was pretty risky too.

- Hated getting dirty even as a kid. It would lead him to freak out and throw a tantrum, he didn’t like messes getting on him, or being around messes.

- Affection never existed when it came to his parents. They were always too bust to have time for that, and had flat out told him that if it doesn’t benefit them. What’s the point? He was expected to agree with them too.

- Time had went on and he’d become an older brother to four younger brothers and one sister.

- His parents taught him to show respect to his elders, and that’s stayed with him ever since. He could never entertain the idea of disgracing them with unruly behavior.

- Part of him does want to do his own thing. Not allow anyone to dictate his actions or feelings.

Theme Song: Isolation

Alexander (Age: 16)

- He had finally left his parents and chosen to follow his own path, this action didn’t please them. They’d given him an ultimatum, stay with them and inherit everything, or leave and no longer be their son. He’d chosen to leave.

- He shared a home with Ashton for some time, taking care of the male- he was completely attached to Ashton, he meant the world to him. He still means everything to him to this day.

- Despises anyone trying to control him- he doesn’t have to listen to them.

- Falling in love or feeling love- is new to him? Part of what he parents felt and believed had stuck with him too. Hence his annoyance with himself over falling for his darling, love wasn’t supposed tp matter to him.

- Hasn’t spoken to his parents in a long time, he had left them behind for a reason. There was no way he’d force himself to go back to them, not when he finally feels free.

- Anger and frustration had become common for him, there were so many things he couldn’t understand and people just really pissed him off. He assumed it might be best if he kept Ashton as his only friend.

[amberlarks]

“Half”, 2019-2021, oil on canvas, 48”x 60”. It’s about growing up half Asian in America. Art is about wearing your heart on your sleeve and I have a lot to share about this one. It would really mean a lot to me if you read the story behind it. I reflect on the current events of the past week and past year. It feels very vulnerable sharing all of this, but I also know how important it is to share. This is one of the most important and personal paintings I’ve made in my life and I’m so happy I finally finished it. Thank you for your support, your inspiration, and for listening❤️

Growing Up Half Asian in America: A Reflection on Identity and Racism

By Amber Larks

I finally found my words. Day 1 I had no words, only grief. Day 2 I was furious with rage. And now I feel a sense of healing. Grieving together and supporting each other even just virtually has been so healing. And it inspired me to finish a painting I started sketches for in 2019. I’m not sure what strange force or feeling came over me to put it down and not pick it up until now, but I think it was meant to be.

These two years have been huge for talks about race and I’ve learned so much. I think my painting was finally ready to be completed because of how much I’ve experienced and learned and because of that, found my voice and identity in this movement.

This painting was art therapy for me and I know a lot of people will connect with it. I had been struggling for so long on my thoughts on current events because I am half. Half Chinese and half white. Somehow, I always feel my thoughts or feelings aren’t valid because “I don’t know what it’s really like to be Asian”. I have always struggled with imposter syndrome because I’m half. I constantly straddle two worlds. But being Chinese is who I am, it’s half of me. I was gaslighting myself wondering if my grief was valid. Thoughts like: “You’re not really Asian so stop playing the victim here”, “People will think you’re just a white girl trying to look woke” and “You should be sad, yes, but grieving like you knew them? That doesn’t make sense”. How fucked up is that?

But this is what being half is like. You feel like an imposter even though it is 100% genuinely part of your identity. And I honestly think this is where a lot of my social anxiety comes from because I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere. But being half is also a beautiful blessing where I’ve cultivated a deep understanding and practice of empathy.

Being half, you experience direct racism but more often racism in the form of people being racist in front of you not knowing they are in front of an Asian person. My first memory of racism is being in second grade and two white boys in my class pulling their eyelids up and down taunting “Chinese” “Japanese” “Chinese” “Japanese”. I will always remember it and the feeling I felt.

And Seattle, my city, as much as a beautiful, progressive haven that we are, we blindly participate in passive aggressive racism. I can’t tell you how many times people have complained to me about “Asian tourists” as if they are not human, but instead an inconvenience to your white city. As if they are not people who have worked hard and saved for years to take their family on vacation, land in a foreign city with a foreign language only to be scoffed at and not welcomed. Where is our empathy there? Where is our humanity? So much of racism is not seeing others as human which makes it easy to be so cruel. The dehumanization of minorities is pure cruelness.

Maybe we don’t do things like you, look like you, or talk like you, but that doesn’t make us lesser. We have feelings. We feel pain. We have depth. We’re smart. We can read between the lines. We know when we are not welcome and it hurts. We know when we are being ridiculed and it hurts. We know Hollywood only sees us as objects and it hurts. We see our brothers and sisters getting murdered and it hurts.

Growing up half taught me to hide my Asian side because from age 5 I deemed it unsafe to show in fear of being bullied. As I grew up, I continued to hide in fear of being disrespected, stereotyped, harassed, and sexualized. That last one is huge for Asian women and disturbs me to my core. I hope I never hear the phrase “Asian persuasion” again or “exotic” like we are some seductive fetishized foreign object rather than individuals.

Also mixed kids need to be normalized. Being mixed is becoming more common now thankfully but growing up in the 90s and early 2000s, I had people ask me if I was adopted, if my mom was my nanny, or “what am I?” and “Where are you from?” This is so alienating. And we’re still at a point where we’re being fetishized because of “how exotic we look”. Please take a moment to understand why these are issues.

It’s only within the last few years that I’ve gotten more comfortable sharing my identity as the world becomes more accepting of different cultures. Although current events show why I’m still weary with sharing my identity with people I don’t know.

And yes, I am privileged in many ways to be white passing because I have the option to blend in easier. I have realized this year more than ever just how privileged I am and oblivious I was. But I also feel the weight of pain our communities feel. And grief is grief. Struggles are struggles. Pain is pain. We need solidarity to move forward.

So I’ve been really touched the past 24 hours how much support and outcry there has been. My boyfriend (also half Asian) and I were saying how it’s actually weird seeing all this Asian stuff. I had to do a double take at what was happening- to see so many people talking about it. We’ve always just dealt with it and somehow society made us feel that’s just how it was. We were used to it. We learned to expect it. You learned to deal with it. And you don’t complain. “People have it harder” “We’re lucky to be where we are”. Silent strength. And silent suffering.

I think of my grandma and her strength. And how she never complained. And it breaks my heart to think of the things she must have endured throughout her life. She was my hero. So strong and so quirky and so herself. And I think of how all of that is in my mom and my sister and I. Being Chinese to me is to be resilient. My people have been through so much yet we’re taught to keep our heads down, work hard, and not complain.

So it really warms my heart seeing so many people speaking out about this and supporting us right now. It’s really moving to see how much positive support can help heal a hurting community. Just seeing people speak up is healing in itself. That people are listening and our problems are actually real. That we’re not overreacting. Victims normally don’t see themselves as victims if they’ve been manipulated to think their pain is normal.

That’s how it’s been for Asian people. (model minority myth at play here). And this is the problem with the model minority myth: It is crafted out of white supremacy to preach “congratulations you should be proud you climbed your way out of poverty. Not like those other folks. Look at the bright side. Forget the rest. Forget the torment we put you through. Forget the past. Aren’t you so glad to be you, a model citizen, a respectable citizen” when in reality it is giving a false sense of security and false praise in a society that is still so very hostile towards you. It delegitimizes our pain and manipulatively puts us against other minorities. It “deems” us closer to white even though that’s not true at all. It’s not a scale of white to black and everything in between. We are all unique cultures and something we just happen to have in common is that we are all not white. We all know what it’s like to be the minority. And we have strength in solidarity.

This has been a moment of clarity for me for my identity. I grieved and I’m still grieving for those lost and their families. Because they could have been me. They could have been my own loved ones.

Empathy can create so much change and healing. So please, when a community calls out for help, please return the call. Picture yourself in their shoes. For them to endure so much pain to finally reach the breaking point of calling out for help- it means it’s serious.

This past year has shown how much white supremacy upholds our society. It really does permeate every major artery, crack and corner of this place. It’s also shown how easily it’s tolerated. Excuse after excuse is made to uphold it and it’s time for that to stop. Thank you thank you thank you to everyone being vocal about this, everyone who is evaluating how their thoughts, words, jokes, or actions could be part of the problem(it’s not your fault, it’s the society we grew up in), and to everyone who reached out. Thank you.

I feel like a weight has been lifted finishing this painting and at the same time I am finding peace with my identity. Being Asian is having an unspoken bond with other Asians because you’ve all been through similar struggles. You are brothers and sisters in solidarity. And that’s what I love about the Asian community. We have an unshakable strength in each other. But recently our community has been violently rocked and traumatized seeing our brothers and sisters murdered and abused. It takes a toll on a community. It’s a collective grieving we are going through. So thank you to everyone returning our call for help. Thank you for listening. And thank you for your love. We will heal but we will need everyone’s help to get rid of white supremacy, racism, and domestic terrorism. And until then we will continue to stand in solidarity with all communities fighting for the same cause✊

I ask of everyone reading this:

Please try and use a lens of empathy to understand why marginalized communities are marginalized as well as their history and struggles.

Please take the time to reflect in the moment if your everyday actions, words, and thoughts perpetuate stereotypes and racism. I’ve caught myself many times. It’s in all of us because we live in a toxic society built on white supremacy. But that’s where the progress comes- when you address it and try and fix it.

Please vote and support leaders who are anti racist. Who work to uplift all communities. Voting and activism works. Rhetoric matters. And politics is not just an old man’s game anymore.

Show solidarity. It means you care.

Have empathy. Do your part to make the world a better place- not just for yourself and the people you care about, but for every human being. The light in me honors the light in you❤️

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 4)

We are at the turning point so things are about to get super fun! Pretty much everything we've gone over until now has been exposition and set-up for this arc.

More than ever there's a trigger warning here: we'll be discussing mental illness, depression, child abuse, and a genuine suicide attempt here so it will get quite heavy and dark.

Chapter Thirteen

We are approaching a significant turning point. This arc is heavy with things to analyze and important revelations about Natsume. Pretty much all the stuff I analyzed before now was just extended exposition, to be entirely honest. We were setting things up, establishing Natsume in every way we could and it will all come to a head right here. This is the arc we've been waiting for.

The chapter opens with Natsume, and from the start we can tell that we are in for a treat. We’ve never seen his perspective like this, only little snippets like “I know I used my alice on her”, or remembering Aoi’s hair-clip. Here, we have much more to work with, and we don’t have to do as much guesswork to make conclusions!

He’s having a nightmare, which is also what he calls it, much like the one he had in the anime. He’s running in darkness and there’s too many people’s voices. Being called a murderer, being told to obey or else… and all the while he’s telling them to shut up already. It’s enough to make anybody feel crowded. He just wants relief, to get out of the darkness, for the nightmare to end.

Even when he's all alone, he's bogged down by noise and taunts.

He wonders if he'll ever get real reprieve from the constant hell he's in. All he ever does is run, his life entirely enshrouded by darkness. He wants it to stop, and later we'll see how exactly he'll attempt to do so.

The fact that the arc begins with this scene despite the fact that Natsume does not feature heavily in this chapter or the next is foreshadowing that something must change by the end of it. He's despairing and hopeless now, and these points will all be brought up later as things come to a head, so something must shift by the end of the arc.

We later find out Natsume’s in the hospital, and then inevitably he gets kidnapped by Reo. He spends about two chapters unconscious, so we’ll be moving on to two of the most important chapters for Natsume’s development.

Chapter Fifteen

Natsume wakes up in the warehouse, but the way he wakes up is very interesting. He knows he’s in a strange place, not in a hospital bed. He thinks so much like a soldier or spy here, using his senses to observe his scary new surroundings and clinically filing away information until he opens his eyes and sees his classmates gnawing at each other’s binds. It’s fascinating to see inside his head, to see the dangerous ability training in action, that he doesn’t think like his peers would, or how any ten year old should.

He's intaking information, filing it, analyzing his situation, all before his eyes even open.

He is understandably irritated by the presence of his classmates, considering he’s been kidnapped, drugged, sick, and has to deal with an alice barrier on top of all that. He gets that he’s screwed, and, with Mikan and Sumire in the mix, his chances aren’t looking too great.

If you want to make yourself sad, it’s worth noting that Natsume doesn’t think he’s going to make it out of this situation alive. He’s processing his options and considering the best thing to do going forward, but he’s well aware that there’s also a good chance he might die tonight.

They manage to get into contact with Narumi, who instructs them to stall and keep quiet, also telling Natsume to use his alice. He’s strong enough to overpower the barrier, so it shouldn’t be an issue, but Natsume is sick. In order to get a small flame, he exhausts himself, and is even less of a state to run away than he already was. Their kidnappers realize the kids are awake because of the disturbance in the barrier, so they confront them to try and figure out their alices. Reo wants this information for nefarious purposes, planning on selling them. It’s already been said earlier in the story that alice children are more valuable in the human trafficking trade, so it’s in his best interest to know what exactly he’s selling.

Mikan has nullification, so the voice pheromone doesn’t work on her, but Sumire is affected, and about to reveal her alice when Natsume interferes. He’s exhausted, but he might have more or less already given up on himself. The most he can do now is try and protect his classmates who came to save him, even if it’s all he can do. So Reo does move on to confront him, taunting him by telling him all the plans they have for him. He’s to be assimilated into the organization, joining Z and becoming a child soldier for their ranks.

Reo brings up an excellent point: “What difference does it make if you start working for Z instead? Everyone there hates the academy like you do.” It’s true. Natsume might even prefer it slightly because it’s an anti-alice organization and he is by no means pro-academy (unlike in the anime where he becomes a poster boy for abuse apologism). At the academy, he’s surrounded by abusers and those subservient to the abusers, by bullies and kids who whisper behind his back, accusing him of murder and arson. Maybe at Z he could be around like-minded people (albeit people who are supportive of child trafficking).

But no.

Natsume doesn’t even consider it.

Maybe Reo should consider that Natsume doesn't want to be a child soldier at all, hmm?? Maybe he'd be better off just being a normal kid? Did that occur to him at all or...?

He immediately smacks Reo’s hand away. Even sick, even heavily under the effects of Reo’s alice, even despite being weak and drugged, he still resists. There’s not even a temptation or hesitation. His choice has been made for him.

Interestingly, Reo was also used by the academy. He knows how twisted the school can be, but he’s still confused and surprised by Natsume’s refusal. I’m assuming based on this that perhaps Natsume is a special case. It would be reasonable to assume most of the kids used in the dangerous ability class are threatened and cowed into obedience, their physical and mental safety in jeopardy if they rebel in any way. Natsume is a child, and we’ve seen him run from his own teacher in abject terror. He’s obviously not a fan of putting himself in physical and mental jeopardy. But the way to get to Natsume is not by threatening him; it’s by threatening Ruka, or Aoi, or Youichi, because Natsume doesn’t care about anything as much as he cares about them--not even his own life.

And that’s why Reo is surprised and confused that Natsume would say no to him and choose the academy over Z.

And it’s because Natsume is not actually choosing the academy over Z. He’s choosing Ruka and Aoi over Z, like he chooses them over everything. Natsume knows that resisting Z here is tantamount to suicide, but he’ll choose that, because he’ll choose his loved ones over his own life.

And then something surprising happens: Mikan gets in between Natsume and Reo, protecting Natsume.

This is new; Natsume is used to being the one doing the protecting. He was more than willing to take all Reo’s wrath to distract him from using his pheromones on Mikan and Sumire. He’s being protected now though, a little, but it’s really just a taste of what’s to come. Mikan stepping in is unexpected… and unwise.

Now Reo can conclude that she has the nullification alice. This is bad news in general, but a great opportunity. Reo and his goons are distracted and there’s enough time for Sumire to use her own alice and see where they are and what’s around.

Turns out there’s dynamite and other explosives a couple warehouses away. This instantly gets Natsume’s attention and he’s already formulating a plan.

He tells them to run for it, reassuring them that he can take care of himself. He says he’s only helping because he’d feel guilty otherwise, not because he actually cares much for what happens to them, because it’s their own fault they followed him.

We know this isn’t the truth. Since he woke up, Natsume has been prioritizing the girls over himself.

He can hardly stand up so the idea that he can escape on his own is a little ridiculous... but he knows that too and he's known it from the start.

The escape begins and the girls run for it, with Natsume distracting Reo and his goons by threatening to blow up the dynamite two warehouses away.

This is a genuine suicide attempt. Natsume has no intention to save himself. He considers himself a lost cause. He’s sick, exhausted, in no condition to run. He can stall long enough to let the girls escape, but he’s gonna blow up the dynamite, taking Reo and part of Z down with him. Reo’s kidnapping whim will prove fatal and catastrophic, and the Black Cat will be eliminated.

Chapter Sixteen

This arc turns so much darker.

Yes, Natsume seems to have no choice but to kill himself to protect his classmates and eliminate the Reo threat. The first page of Chapter Sixteen also establishes that this isn’t just Natsume’s own plan. He’s been commanded to commit suicide in this kind of situation by Persona. If he’s ever trapped and can’t escape, he’s to kill himself, so that he can’t be used against the academy. He’s too powerful. The academy would rather this child die than fall into Z’s hands. In fact, if Natsume were to rebel, in any way, even by not killing himself in such a situation, the academy will hurt the people he cares about.

This is a grown ass man telling a child that his life is only important if he can be a tool for the school and as soon as he can't be anymore, he ceases to have value and is better off dead.

I will once again mention that Natsume is ten years old. The academy is not just an abusive institution, it’s also a human rights violator, since child soldiers are prohibited by international law. A child soldier is any child under the age of 18 who is compelled to fight or otherwise service any state or non-state armed group (the academy counts as an armed group because it has a division of child soldiers with magical powers ready to kill and maim on command as well as teachers with magical powers willing to threaten these children into submission). Natsume is a child soldier and the fact that the dangerous ability class was never fully dissolved is an actual human rights violation.

Anyway, this arc is where we see Natsume clearly for the first time. Compared to all the fun and mischief of previous chapters, these chapters are dark and scary. There’s no exciting dodgeball game or howalon-related antics. This is life-or-death, suicide attempts, threats.

This marks the difference between the life the rest of the kids at the academy are living and the life Natsume has been struggling through. How do you live through missions like this, watching your life whittle away, being threatened on a regular basis, and then go back to school and pretend to care about math or about sports or friends? It makes perfect sense that Natsume would feel so isolated from everyone. His experiences are too different.

Of course, this whole thing is about to get a whole lot worse.

Reo asks why Natsume would even bother with this. Is there even a reason? He even gives a pretty good deal: If Natsume backs down, Sumire and Mikan will be spared.

But Natsume doesn’t bite. He’s ready to die, because the academy told him to, because he wants to protect his loved ones, because he wants to help Sumire and Mikan escape, and--most heart-breakingly--because he genuinely wants to die.

Now that Sumire and Mikan are gone, he doesn't have to lie about his plans anymore.

Natsume has been appearing in the last sixteen chapters, showing up to offer a sarcastic quip, set something on fire, and be generally unpleasant. But more than that, we’ve seen glimpses into what appears to be a horrible, miserable life. Natsume hates the academy, only has one friend, goes on life-threatening missions, frequently visits the hospital, despises his own alice, and he never smiles. All his appearances up to this point have been an explanation: this is why Natsume wants to kill himself.

Natsume isn’t just forced into a suicide attempt. There’s a reason he submits so easily to the idea of dying here. He’s ready. He’s been ready for a long time. He might have even been waiting for it; to get it over with because it’s bound to happen sooner or later.

He says he feels like he’s living his life cowering on his knees, like his head is constantly under a pool of shame. “I’m sick of the academy. I’m sick of you all. I’m sick of everything!”

Natsume is going to die in a few moments and he’s okay with it. He’s even happy about it, because there is really nothing worth living for. He doesn’t have a future, or hopes and dreams. This whole time he has been living for Ruka and his family, doing everything he can to keep them safe. Nothing he’s done in the past two years has been for himself. This may be the very first selfish thing he has done in all this time. He’s ready to die.

It’s not like he had something to look forward to anyway.

Natsume is about to die, until the wind is knocked out of him and he’s suddenly on the ground, with Mikan grabbing his shirt and screaming into his face that he’s an idiot. He’s lying on the floor because one of his stupid classmates--the one he hates the most, the stupid girl with the nullification alice and her head so full of rainbows and butterflies and happiness he could barf just thinking about her, the one that walked right into the worst thing that ever happened to him and smiled about it--tackled him and stopped his suicide attempt.

Just one split second changes everything and there's nothing he can do about it.

Yes, the previous chapters leading up to this explained why Natsume wants to die, and how miserable his life is, but they also mark another thing: the only fifteen and a half chapters where Natsume isn’t in love with Mikan.

In this moment, she saves his life. She risks her own safety on a whim to protect him, and she does. She didn’t come all this way for nothing! She’s willing to fight Reo and any henchmen to protect Natsume, who can’t even walk without help. Natsume was not expecting this.

He asks why she even came back, but she makes it clear it wasn’t a choice--they’re partners, after all! It’s her job to look after him.

The next few scenes are Mikan protecting Natsume, and it’s important to point out that nobody has ever done that before. Natsume is always the one doing the sacrificing and protecting, and he’s okay with that. He doesn’t want Ruka to be burdened by his hardships, or for Aoi to be held responsible for something she did under a dangerous fever. He will do the hard thing, will be the caretaker, because that’s who he’s always been.

It might be uncomfortable and strange for him, but Natsume is being taken care of here, led to hiding spots and being protected. When he tries again to convince her to leave him behind, he’s using all the insults he can think of. This is another way of protecting people: hurting them so that he can further distance himself from them and keep them safe.

But Mikan fights back, saying, “Who do you think I came back for?”

Here Natsume finally understands something. The girl he has hated ever since she voluntarily enrolled into the school that uses him as a human weapon is more than a bumbling idiot. Her sickening optimism and determination are the reason he’s still alive now. He gave up on himself, but she refuses to. She’s the kind of person who would risk her own life to save a boy who has caused her nothing but grief, because she can see value in his existence that he can’t.

Natsume's never thought of himself as even having a future before, let alone a happy one.

And she says, “Everyone is waiting for you.” Natsume used to look down on her optimism and rose-colored lenses, because how naive is it to think things will just work themselves out? That the future will be better? That there’s something worth working for, even if you aren’t sure what it is? It’s stupid. Natsume knows better: life sucks and then you die because you get kidnapped and you have to commit suicide or else your loved ones will get hurt. Relying on stupid things like positivity or hope is just a waste of time.

But not this time. This girl is saving him because there’s a bright future awaiting her, but more than that: she sees a bright future for him too. She thinks things will work out for him too, that he has moments to look forward to where he will laugh and cry and live--moments he hasn’t seen yet. There’s still so much life left for him to live, and he’s never thought of it that way.

For the first time in a long time, Natsume is thinking about his own future.

He doesn’t argue when Mikan stands up to protect him, or when she grabs his hand to try and lead him from danger. He trusts her now and even more, he wants to live.

And then Mikan gets overpowered by a goon, who slams her into the wall in order to get to Natsume.

And that pushes Natsume’s berserk button, because now he cares about Mikan, and he goes absolutely unhinged whenever someone he cares about is hurt.

Mikan has become precious to Natsume only a few minutes ago, but he's kinda ride-or-die so it's like going from 0 to 100.

Just a few chapters ago, a middle-schooler grabbed Mikan and threatened to hurt her if Natsume didn’t back down and Natsume just laughed. Now he’s detonating a whole shipyard because somebody shoved her.

Yes, he does set off the dynamite, because he’s no longer thinking rationally and how dare someone hurt Mikan?

We’re not really sure what consequences this had, if he ended up inadvertently hurting himself or Mikan in the process of getting revenge against this man for hurting a girl who he just started having feelings for like five minutes ago, but both of them end up hospitalized.

Conclusion

This whole arc is a fucking MASTERPIECE. We’ve met Natsume before, but that was the old Natsume. That Natsume was miserable and didn’t have anything to look forward to. We’ve just met a new Natsume; a Natsume who has hopes and desires and will do selfish things because of them. His life is still dark and dreary and miserable, but there’s a light coming in now, and he’s content now just to be in the sun for a little bit until his life comes to a complete end, which will still be sooner than later.

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