#how have there not been seven million adaptations?

[gh-0-stcup]

We as a culture were robbed when Dracula caught on over Carmilla.

[lincolndjarin]

Best Kept Secret ☆

A MANDALORIAN SERIES MASTERLIST

[ COMPLETED ]

✩ a bodyguard!din x princess!reader fic ✩

series summary :

Married off to a prince on a planet that you hate? New husband doesn't know you, and doesn't want to know you? New husband gifts you a personal Mandalorian body guard as a wedding present? Mandalorian is a wiseass who won't leave you alone? Lucky you.

18+ mdni

do you like kitschy, campy romance novels? if you're reading this, I hope so.

behind the scenes & chapter notes + other extras (spoilers) :

chapters 1-5

chapter 6-15

spotify playlists

Lysa & Elaine information

the bks screen adaption

bks q&a

bks what if's

reader is generally not described past being picked up a few times, and having hair long enough to be put up

✩ chapters containing smut!

chapter one : honeymoon (6.7k words)

[ Absurd.

That is the only word that comes to mind as you stare at yourself in the mirror. “His favorite color is blue.” ]

chapter two : silent treatment (7.4k words)

[ Something is wrong. You bolt up from the pile of blankets that you call a bed and your eyes dart around the closet as you furrow your brow trying to discern why you feel so much different. ]

✩ chapter three : the smitten paladin (4.6k words)

[ You’re starting to think the planet isn’t the reason you’re so hot all the time.

You had woken up this morning feeling a bit better than you thought you’d be, your stomach is full of butterflies but you're still standing and considering the night you had you’re gonna take that as a win. ]

chapter four : sarad'ika (6.8k words)

[ Sarad'ika. 

You won’t forget it this time, you can’t. So you write it in your book, just under Mando’s favorite color you write the two little words that have been keeping you up at night. ]

✩ chapter five : lunar interlude : just a man (5.0k words)

[ Absurd.

It’s absurd how much the job pays. Din’s not even sure he should take it at this point because it’s too good to be true. ]

✩ chapter six : torment (5.1k words)

[ Okay, maybe you didn’t think this through. 

You didn’t think he’d actually come in and now suddenly the door is shut and you’re alone with him. ]

✩ chapter seven : just friends (3.1k words)

[ Maker it feels like it’s been an hour and you’re both just laying here. He was just inside of you; it shouldn't be so hard to find something to talk about at this point. ]

chapter eight : solar markets (5.3k words)

[ It’s nice to wake up excited again. 

You wish you could say that it happened more often but hopefully it will from now on. It’s going to be your first time leaving the castle grounds since you got here. ]

✩ chapter nine : shuk'la rules (5.6k words)

[ You need sex.

Normally you would be satisfied for quite some time after getting off but for some reason with Mando it was different. But it’s only been two days and you need more. ]

✩ chapter ten : lunar interlude : briikase gote'tuur (4.1k words)

[ He’s grateful for the break from you, even if brief. 

That’s not to say that he doesn’t enjoy every moment he gets to be in your presence but the more time he spends with you the harder it gets to remember that this isn’t real. ]

chapter eleven : he loves me not (4.6k words)

[ Something is wrong. 

All day it’s been wrong. 

He’s different. Distant. ]

chapter twelve : pretend (4.4k words )

[ Two days.

That’s what you’re willing to give yourself. Two days to get over it. One to get it all out of your system and one to pull yourself together. ]

chapter thirteen : lunar interlude : vercopa (3.5k words)

[ He did it.

He did exactly what he knew he needed to do.

So why does he feel worse than ever? ]

chapter fourteen : condemned (4.9k words)

[ You’re having trouble sleeping. 

You have no problem falling asleep, it’s mostly staying asleep. There’s a million different things that consume your thoughts and everytime you drift into unconsciousness you find yourself jolting awake, barely able to stay asleep for more than an hour at a time. ]

chapter fifteen : two tea parties (5.4k words)

[ “What did you do to her?”

Her voice breaks through his sleepy haze as he sits up properly. 

“Excuse me?” ]

chapter sixteen : absolution (4.6k words)

[ There’s a visceral sense of dread when you wake up, for several reasons. 

The glaring obvious culprit of your discomfort would be the fact that today’s your husband's birthday. ]

chapter seventeen : the apostate’s cabin (3.5k words)

[ Just Din. 

It’s sinking in as you walk in silence, holding his hand tightly as he pulls you towards his home. ]

chapter eighteen : portrait of a man (5.4k words)

[ It’s deliciously warm when you wake. You can feel his heartbeat and you can feel the soft traces of sunlight dancing along your back. You stretch in his arms slightly but freeze up as you feel him nuzzle his chin into your hair, planting a kiss against your hairline. ]

✩ chapter nineteen : reverence (7.3k words)

[ You really want to. 

You couldn’t possibly want to more than you currently do. 

It’s actually a bit mean. That he’s left you here in this state. ]

✩ chapter twenty : like real people do (8.4k words)

[ Mando and Din. 

All you can think about right now is how there must be two of them. 

You’re playing with his curls. ]

✩ chapter twenty one : te mirci't (9.0k words)

[ “It means I love you.” 

You aren’t entirely sure how long you stare at him, looking rather silly with your jaw practically on the floor. ]

✩ chapter twenty two : it’s you that i lie with (11.3k words)

[ Naboo has several trading ports. 

You could get him on a cargo ship. That would be the most inconspicuous form of transport. It would help if he was willing to ditch his armor. ]

✩ chapter twenty three : lunar markets (15.0k words)

[ Sneaking out of the castle gets easier every time you do it. 

It only takes a few minutes and you’re walking outside towards the forest trail, Din’s hand in yours, still giddy. ]

✩ chapter twenty four : lunar interlude : riduur (7.8k words)

[ He doesn’t deserve this.

How could he possibly be deserving of you? Yet somehow you make him feel as if he is. With your soft touch and the way your eyes get just a little bigger when you see him. ]

✩ chapter twenty five : wedding bells (11.7k words)

[ Four days of Leo. 

You were upset that Din was leaving you but you got over it rather quickly with the promise of his hasty return. ]

chapter twenty six : crucifixion (12.7k words)

[ “My room is too big.” 

He bursts into genuine peals of laughter and you gently smack his arm.

“Don’t laugh, it’s a serious issue! My room is enormous.” ]

chapter twenty seven : the apostate (6.0k words)

[ Silence.

That’s all there is in his brain. 

It’s hard enough as is for him to hear. It doesn’t help when he’s been beaten half to death. ]

✩ chapter twenty eight : a place for us (8.4k words)

[ You’d spent the better half of the day trying to get on top of him. 

Every time you managed to get close he’d simply set you down on the nearest surface with a kiss on the cheek and go back to doing whatever he was working on. ]

chapter twenty nine : the best kept secret (epilogue) (6.1k words)

[ The morning sun is warm against your face, you bask in it, unmoving and only half awake until you feel a tiny hand slapping your cheek. The illusion of tranquility is immediately shattered as you softly laugh. ]

[monimccoythings]

Alastor x Daughter!Reader III (Platonic)

Yeah, this is going to take place after the end of season 1, just after Sir Pentious has ascended and the hotel has been rebuilt into a bigger better version. I just don't know how to fit Y/N in season 1.

Reminder: Alastor is in Hell for a reason.

TW: This contains a very delicate matter, like PTSD and panic attacks, even though I wanted to keep it brief because I'm not very well versed in these kind of subjects and wanted to be careful and respectful with it, I'm not entirely satisfied with how I wrote it, I researched and looked into my past experiences, but still don't think I truly adapted it as best as I would have liked. Also several mentions of cannibalism. Brief mentions of controlling behavior.

This isn't proof read so sorry for any grammar and/or vocabulary mistakes.

Part I ｜Part II｜Part III (You are here!)

tags: @anonymousewrites, @nonetheartist, @littledolly2345, @sunnyx07, @ouroborostheunholy, @mo-0-o, @sydneyyyya @lbcreations-blog

Soft jazz music enveloped the room, accompained by a strong smell of coffee and magnolias, someone was humming quietly to the music. Somehow, it reminded you of home.

You blinked groggily, trying to get the sleep away from your eyes, and leaned on your elbow. Why was the ground so soft and cushioned?

Yor eyes shot wide open when you remebered the events that led you there. The blood, the laughter, the eyes, the smile, the radio static... Your heart started beating wildly inside your ribcage, and you suddenly found yourself gasping for air. You clutched your old dress, hoping that would alleviate the growing pressure in your chest in some way.

"Well, look who's finally awake!" Alastor left the newspaper on the table and turned towards you, if his grin was supposed to be comforting it was not working. Just the fact that he was acting so casual, as if nothing had happened in the last ninety years made everything a million times worse.

"You are quite the hide and seek champion, ma petite faon. It took several years for my shadows to casually find you and then it took even longer for me to believe you actually had been sent here, ha ha!" His neck bended in an unnatural way as he laughed.

Crap. Did he always know where you were? Was this just a game of cat and mouse for him?

As if he had read your mind, his eyes adopted a more relaxed expression that did nothing to soothe your nerves. "Well, for the last ten years you gave me quite the chase, cher. Always on the move, never stopping, from one part of the ring to the other. And then there's that seven year gap." He muttered to himself that last part.

You still felt on the verge of a panic attack. Your body couldn't and wouldn't stop shaking, and felt like reality was blurring around you. Everything was happening too fast, it brought you back to that night decades ago when you found that your beloved father had actually been a serial killer. It almost felt like it was mere minutes ago.

Alastor knew of your discomfort, your fear. He could see it as clear as a day, he could almost taste it. He had always enjoyed tasting the fear on his victims, but yours only left an aftertaste of bitterness in his mouth. It was rotten, putrid and nauseating. Maybe because it was the only fear he should never had a taste of. Watching you like this also brought him back to the night he lost you.

As he held your unmoving body in his arms, for a couple of seconds his brain stopped functioning, unable to accept what had just happened. The pain he felt was just like someone had ripped his chest open and pulled out his still beating heart, only to crush it, leaving an empty and cold hole in its place.

He had taken you to your room and laid you in the bed, tucking you in. You looked so peaceful, if your face and clothes weren't stained with blood he would have believed you were sleeping. But you would never wake up again.

The next couple of days passed in a blur, tracking down the man who had dared to do this to you and then run away, and giving him his fair punishment. And as he dragged his mutilated body through the forest... Well... the rest is history.

"Anyways! All's well that ends well! Now I found you, and you won't need to worry anymore!" His chirpy radio filtered voice portrayed some genuine happiness that didn't reach you. The bond and trust that used to tie you two together, had been damaged beyond repair. And Alastor knew. That didn't mean he was going to give up, though.

Before he had the chance to make things even more awkward between you two, the door bursted open, revealing several people behind it.

"Oh, you're awake, that's so great! We were all sooo worried since Al suddenly brought you here, and you seemed passed out, we didn't know if you were alive or-" The blonde haired demon kept rambling, but you barely listened to her, way too much in shock. Behind her, there was a bunch of demons: a winged cat who would be rather doing anything else than be there, a tiny cyclops with a psychotic and perky smile; a spider demon who, if anything, looked confused; a taller cyclops demon girl who found the dirt in her nails to be way more interesting than you, and some kind of moth demon girl? You wondered if they all were going to participate in your slaughter or were just going to watch.

"-aaaand who were you again?" The blonde demon asked with an awkward smile.

"I'm very glad you're asking! Because this is no other than my beloved little girl!" Alastor opened his arms widely in a dramatic form of presentation as the sound effect of a studio crowd cheering mixed with his voice.

"Wha- hold the fuck up? Your daughter??? Didn't you sing to Luci-?"

One glare full of murderous intention and loud static was enough for the spider demon to shut up.

"Now, now, how about we let the newest addition to our merry little band have a well deserved rest." Your dad not so gently pushed the uninvited guests back towards the door.

"Addition? Is she our new guest?" The moth-like demon girl asked.

Alastor's face darkened and loud static filled the room. "A҉b҉s҉o҉l҉u҉t҉e҉l҉y҉ ҉n҉o҉t҉.҉". He swapped back to his more charming persona. "She'll be joining our facility as an assistant!" His tone admitted no further questioning, and, quite reluctantly, the staff and guests left the room.

So that's the story about how you ended working in the Hazbin Hotel.

Your work was mainly small chores or helping others. Nifty needed help to clean the rooms? You were there. Someone needed you to take cover at the reception? On it. Whatever tiny task someone needed help with, you had to do it.

You were not allowed to leave the hotel. Alastor made sure of that. Wherever you went, he made sure some of his shadows followed if he was not around, just to keep you controlled; although he'd rather call it, 'lovingly checking on his little baby'. It really was not needed, even if you didn't trust nobody there and your guard was still up, where else would you go? It was literal hell outside.

Years of hiding and living in constant fear of death or something worse had left you extremely mistrustful and fearful of people. There were times were you believed this was all a ruse to lure you into a false sense of security and then hit you were it hurt most.

It's not like you didn't believe in Charlie's dream, it was just you couldn't believe it could be possible, your father had very sincerely stated that he was just sponsoring it because he loved watching doomed souls struggle to achieve something meaningful and then fail spectacularly. Of course he did.

So, at least you had a roof over your head, enough food to eat, and a no-killing rule inside the hotel. Things could be worse.

Yet, there was still something inside you, something that you so desperately tried to let go but were unable to, as it had rooted itself deeply inside your mind and heart.

It started with small things, maybe a loud sound, maybe a bit of blood, it didn't matter because you could already feel yourself breathing heavily and sweating. It was like the entire world vanished around you. You couldn't breath, you couldn't think, your mind was on edge and your heart felt like it was going to burst out of your chest. You were completely paralized with fear, your hands shaking furiously, making you drop whatever you were holding.

These episodes started becoming more and more frequent, the more you tried to fight against them, the stronger they became. Whenever Charlie, Vaggie or any guest tried to ask you about them you always tried to brush them off, not wanting them to see it as a weak spot to exploit.

After several episodes and you refusing to open yourself, Alastor had enough of watching you suffer and decided to take matters into his own hands. So, he took you to Rosie.

If you expected something out of a place called 'Cannibal Town' it certainly wasn't that. It looked so... normal, like any other town you would have found back in your time. Well, if you ignored the people eating an entire corspe on the street. Your father gently moved your face to face front, because apparently it was rude to stare.

Oh Rosie immediately adored you. 100% godmother material. That southern belle couldn't wait to pamper you and dress you up in all kinds of fancy clothes.

Talking to Rosie was surprisingly, easy, if you looked over her cannibalistic tendencies. She kindly offered you some fresh fingers, but quickly backed up when she saw you turning green, jokingly saying "Ah, teenagers and their diets."

Sessions with Rosie always left you crying and drained but in a positive way, you felt like a huge load had been lifted off your shoulders. It may be a long road ahead but it was a great start.

Talking to Vaggie also helped. Turns out being a former exterminator had left not only physical but psychological scars on her. The first months after she had been left to die in hell had also been very struggling for her. She helped you with breathing exercises, held your hands when they started shaking, and even was willing to teach you some self defence. Which your dad opposed to.

Charlie was... Charlie, always positive and upbribing but also respecting your boundaries, you were almost starting to belive she was being genuine.

There was another member of the staff who had not been present when you were first brought there and you had yet to meet. The King of Hell himself, Lucifer. Just knowing he could be there send shivers down your spine, wondering what kind of diabolical entity could he be. When you first saw that 4' overly excited manchild, at first you thought it was a joke.

Lucifer took a liking to you pretty easily, much to the annoyance of Alastor. He was curious about how someone as innocent and young as you could have ended in a place like that and vowed to protect you if someone ever gave you trouble. Your dad is seething. "Here, take this." And he just gives you a toy duck who backflips and makes the cutest rubber ducky noise. You loved it. Your dad is about to break the no-killing rule.

Alastor tried to win back your trust and love, even if he knew it was going to be a long and arduous task. He didn't care. He just got you back he was never letting you go.

He may not believe entirely in Charlie's dream, but he knew that if it was possible the one who had more chances to go straight to Heaven would be you. And he was not having that.

Alastor briefly considered making a deal to own your soul, just to ensure your safety and his control.

Up to this day he still doesn't know how you ended down there, and can't wait for the day when you will trust him enough to tell him.

He will respect your boundaries begrudgingly, he is your dad, he knows best. Will play nice and let you take your time with things. He will quietly show support for your emotional progress and make light physical contact, just enough to be supportive and not freak you out.

He cooks for you, and only you. The old homemade grandma's recipes he used to make back in your living times. At first, you didn't trust it, thinking he could have poisoned it. But the second you tasted his Jambalaya you felt like crying. Not only because after ninety years barely eating you were famished, but because for a couple of seconds, something there in the taste and smell had brought you back to simpler times. (like the Ratatouille guy)

Alastor truly desires to hear you call him 'Dad' again, you had yet to do so. Yes, you recognise him as your father, but after everything it just pains you to address him as such. It's like your dad and Alastor were two separate people. The loving father vs the serial killer, the guardian vs the Radio Demon.

He really loves you very much and it's been hard on him to keep that much distance from his little fawn. So he takes out his frustration on others, don't turn the radio on when he tells you not to.

And with time, his efforts were rewarded. Somewhat. You seemed to have gotten a bit more comfortably around him, at least you didn't flinch or recoil anytime he approached you. But you couldn't forget, you couldn't overlook the fact that he was a murderer and a cannibal and still doubted if anything you two had lived together had been truly genuine.

Honestly, it offended him that you would even think that way. Wasn't he there for you, always? Didn't he protect you from the darkness of the outside world during your living times? Wasn't he, as a father, devoted enough to his fawn?

But of course, actions spoke louder than words, and his actions had left too many cracks in your trust. But he will keep trying to win you back. Alastor's very patient demon, he has all the time in the world.

Y̸̗͉̺̱͂̕o̸̧̯̞̟̰̪̗̱̳̱̎̈̿̄̄͛̅͝͝û̴̦͔̹͈̣̥̾͛͑͗͋̅̏̂̚ͅ ̷̭͋̈͛̽͒̅̀̈́́̚ă̷̢̢̖̦͕̞͚͔̻̳̅̇̃͌̿͐̄̃̕r̵̨̢̺̦͇͚̙̈́̅̽́̊͠ę̶̺̖͋̐͐͌͘͠͝ ̶̖̲͎̜̮͚͉̰̒n̵̢͕̝͖̗̜̣̾̾̇̾̅̽͊͘ǫ̴̼̺̠̱̦̘̒̈̎̿̇́̔̉t̴͙͇̼̱̻̦̦͔̖͙̍͌ ̸̩̂́̎͒͘g̶͔͚̰̺͔͉͓͍͔̈́̽̈́͋͘͜o̵̹͔̫͚̼͚͒͑į̷̧̫͔̹͉̰̘̮̍͋͒̈n̸̢͕̙̙̞͔̓͐̓ͅg̵͖͇̜͚̗͙̤̫̱̝̉̂́̚ ̴̪̂͑̓̊͛a̷̖̞͊̄̈́͑͋̈́̄͘n̶̻̟̙̝̪̩͂̋͗ẏ̸̨̛̱̱͇̱͖̤͕̥͛́̍̂͛̕͠w̸̛̖͎̫̑h̵͔̝̣̀ẹ̵̝͍̳̟͚̪̍̒͋̒̀̊̏r̷̨͉͉̒̑̉̒̄̎̓̎͜͝͠ȅ̸̩͇̳.̵̠̪̖̍͂͠.

[goldenhickeysandramen]

We exists in grey or multicolour ;)

I agree with @humanuser0613 and @parkparkjeon on their general message they convey on their recent posts below (and i borrowed even one of their sentence for the title, ups ;))

The way jikookers behave as if there is only one school of thought...😞

I'm sorry, but that's not the case.

The messages I got on twitter two days ago were 🤬 and I just said I wasn't going to go in and debunk anything because I wasn't sure about the vid (honestly so many things matches up for me).

But it doesn't really matter… because I never said Jikook wasn't real or that the girl on the vid was JK's girlfriend. I just said that no matter what happens I just cared that they were safe and happy. They were gonna have my full support no matter what!

And yet, many jikookers sent me pictures, diagrams, warned me that they blocked me… as if I was an infected in the community that needed to be formatted

No one should dictate the line of thinking.

I believe that jikook love each other and has been inseparable for many years. I believe that truly their connection, their bond is one in a million. Friends, siblings, lovers, partners… I think they have been through all these states and their chemistry, understanding and affection are unquestionable.

But I don't know what the state of their relationship is this year cause it's been about 10 months since I've seen them live for more than a few seconds and I don't have any information about their dynamic, beyond the fact that JK missed Jimin in the first quarter of the year, and now he's totally focused on his music career and shares part of his time with us.

I do not feel able to define or explain in detail how their relationship is or works this year. And I adapt to what I see at any given moment. People change. It's no longer valid to say "jikook glued" because in 2019 they were stuck together, when clearly they are not in 2023.

So, let everyone say what they want about them. No need to lecture or threaten in posts.

My love and support for them does not change. I have spent quite a lot of money on their albums and works, and I have devoted part of my time this year to vote, report many accounts and make long threads about how beautiful their relationship was.

Nobody should come to me with the fake Jikooker thing, when many of them were tired of criticising JK when he released Seven, or calling him a puppet of the company. These same people are now celebrating the fact that he is so bold and independent today to put those fans who criticise him in their place.

Support is shown day by day with actions, and not with screaming on twitter and trying to evangelize the community.

Borahae to all 💜

[bizarrequazar]

GJ and ZZH Updates — February 25-March 2

previous week || all posts || following week

This is part of a weekly series collecting updates from and relating to Gong Jun and Zhang Zhehan.

This post is not wholly comprehensive and is intended as an overview, links provided lead to further details. Dates are in accordance with China Standard Time, the organization is chronological. My own biases on some things are reflected here. Anything I include that is not concretely known is indicated as such, and you’re welcome to do your own research and draw your own conclusions as you see fit. Please let me know if you have any questions, comments, concerns, or additions. :)

[Glossary of names and terms] [Masterlist of my posts about the situation with Zhang Zhehan]

02-25 → Rare posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun. (1129 kadian)

→ The Instagram posted a video from the latest scam concert.

02-26 → BEAST posted a teaser video featuring Gong Jun. (1129 kadian)

→ The Instagram posted another of the same.

02-27 → BEAST posted another teaser video (1129 kadian) and a photo ad featuring Gong Jun.

→ The Instagram posted three photos of "Zhang Zhehan" and "Zhang Mama" and seven of an aquarium. The previous Zhang Mama impersonator has visibly been replaced by a new one, likely due to the previous one being in declining health.

→ PRSR posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun.

02-28 → Tissot posted a promotional video spoken by Gong Jun.

→ Gong Jun posted a commercial he did for BEAST. (10:42, 511 kadian possible if you push it) Caption: "Spring is coming, and the God of Flowers is about to wake up… I hope you can meet the golden finger and find the black vanilla"

→ BEAST posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun. (1129 kadian)

→ Gong Jun's studio posted a behind the scenes video from the BEAST shoot. Caption: "The subtle fragrance stays and lingers for a long time. Meet @ Gong Jun Simon in the early spring~"

→ Xiao Chu (aka Nada), who moved to Canada at the end of last year, changed her LinkedIn profile to credit herself as the sole writer for Word of Honor, despite it being an adaptation and despite Xiao Chu herself admitting back in 2021 that it was a collaborative effort. There has also been speculation that her husband may have been involved in the writing, as his name is the one in the contract. Xiao Chu has openly been involved with the Zhang Sanjian scam, and has recently been hiring ghost writers.

02-29 → Nothing of note.

03-01 Addition 03-06: Gong Jun's studio posted a douyin with footage from the BEAST shoot. BGM is 偷心 by Jacky Cheung.

→ 361° posted a teaser commercial featuring Gong Jun. (1129 kadian) Fan Observation: The logo at the end of the video, which is used for Gong Jun's line with 361°, has what appears to be oranges added.

→ The makeup brand Za posted a photo ad teasing an upcoming endorsement with Gong Jun. (1129 kadian)

→ Gong Jun's studio posted fourteen photos from the BEAST shoot. Caption: "Spring returns to all things, @ Gong Jun Simon's warm fragrance awakens the radiant poetry."

→ The Instagram posted ten photos of the new fake Zhang Mama.

03-02 → Za posted another photo ad teaser. (1129 kadian)

Additional Reading: → Late addition to last week: The cram school that included slander against Zhang Zhehan in their test prep books after 813 are facing scam claims and resulting refund requests of 40 million RMB. → [Here] (shirtless Sanjian warning) is a really good comparison showing how much photoshopping is being done to the photos posted on the Instagram, and [here] is one showing the height difference between two different Zhang Sanjians.

previous week || all posts || following week

This post was last edited 2024-03-06.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Started watching Dead Friend Forever last week and managed to get fully caught up (shout out to @italianpersonwithashippersheart for being extremely persuasive about watching this show).

And I'm really enjoying the theories. I'm on board with there being more than one killer, and the use of drugs and tech to create paranoia, though I do also suspect there's going to be some sort of paranormal aspect when it comes to the final story.

That being said, I thought it was really interesting that while I was watching the first seven episodes (primarily the first four, before we went into flashback), my mind kept going to And Then There Were None. And this confused me, because I couldn't see why it was relevant.

I mean sure, group of isolated people being stalked by a killer, but that's true of a million things. It was weird, but my brain wouldn't really let it go. And then it hit me - it's because of the ideas around justice and guilt.

So for those of you who haven't read And Then There Were None, ten people are invited to an isolated island, and get picked off, one by one, by a killer. But of course these are not random people. These are people who have done terrible things, but most importantly, who the justice system could not touch.

As for the reason that they are untouchable, besides the fact that some of them are "high status" (rich, a general, a cop, etc), critically, most of these people did nothing directly. Everyone is responsible for a death, but in a wide range of different ways. Some of them took indirect actions, or refused to act, or lied about something important. Some meant to cause harm and some were just careless or selfish or callous. But in each case, someone died.

This makes me think of the group of boys around Non, and how some of them were deliberately cruel, and some were selfish, and some didn't want to be involved, and some were kind upfront but only for what they could get out of it. They didn't all take deliberate action to harm Non, but they're all culpable, in their own way.

There's also an interesting theme set up in ATTWN around how the killer decides to take out these people. They're clever and good at strategizing. Realistically, they could have just randomly taken the victims out in their daily lives. Why bring them to an island where there is no escape? Why make it clear from the beginning that they have been brought there to answer for their crimes? Why kill them one at a time, rather than something like a mass poisoning?

Because the paranoia and the guilt and the knowledge that what you have done is catching up to you, is the point.

Originally I was surprised that we hadn't gotten more deaths yet. I was also rather shocked that Dang was taken out so callously. It's possible he did something to participate in what happened to Non. Or...is it possible that he had to be taken out for the plan to work, but in a way where he didn't suffer like the boys do? (Not that decapitation is fun, but you know what I mean). Whereas the boys, with their guilt, are not going to get a quick way out.

(Assuming White was not planned to be there, as many are theorizing, of course).

Disclaimer - These aren't fully formed thoughts, just writing this to get my brain to stop fussing over making connections for the time being.

Also, I'm not saying DFF is at all taking directly from Agatha Christie! Just that it's interesting to think over these ideas of guilt & justice.

Side note: If you're more of a visual media person, the 2015 mini series of And Then There Were None is the best adaptation. It's one of the few that sticks to the book and doesn't try to happy ending it.

[beatricebidelaire]

handler's intro page absolutely delights me ....

Daniel Handler is the author of seven novels, including Why We Broke Up, We Are Pirates, All The Dirty Parts and, most recently, Bottle Grove.

As Lemony Snicket, he is responsible for numerous books for children, including the thirteen-volume A Series of Unfortunate Events, the four-volume All the Wrong Questions, and The Dark, which won the Charlotte Zolotow Award.

Mr. Snicket’s first book for readers of all ages, Poison for Breakfast, was published by Liveright/W.W. Norton in 2021.

Handler has received commissions from the San Francisco Symphony, Berkeley Reperatory Theater and the Royal Shakespeare Company, and has collaborated with artist Maira Kalman on a series of books for the Museum of Modern Art in New York, and with musicians Stephin Merritt (of the Magnetic Fields), Benjamin Gibbard (of Death Cab for Cutie), Colin Meloy (of the Decemberists) and Torquil Campbell (of Stars).

His books have sold more than 70 million copies and have been translated into 40 languages, and have been adapted for film, stage and television, including the recent adaptation of A Series of Unfortunate Events for which he was awarded both the Peabody and the Writers Guild of America awards.

He lives in San Francisco with the illustrator Lisa Brown, to whom he is married and with whom he has collaborated on several books and one son.

books page:

Daniel Handler Writes novels.

The Basic Eight

Watch Your Mouth

Adverbs

Why We Broke Up

We Are Pirates

All the Dirty Parts

Bottle Grove

Poison for Breakfast

And not novels.

Weather, Weather

Girls Standing on Lawns

Hurry Up and Wait

Books for the Holidays.

The Baby In The Manger

The Lump of Coal

The Latke Who Couldn’t Stop Screaming

Assorted and sundry.

Goldfish Ghost

The Bad Mood and The Stick

Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can’t Avoid

The Composer Is Dead

13 Words

The Dark

Swarm of Bees

And one as the Pope.

How To Dress For Every Occasion

All while penning children’s books as Lemony Snicket.

A Series Of Unfortunate Events

All the Wrong Questions

[dreamlandreader]

Mythology, Folklore and Behind the Scenes Fact File

Welcome to the fact file for Foolish Fire, a place where you can find more information on the background of the inspirations behind my Secret Santa gift for the amazing @popjunkie42-blog 💖

All of the inspiration I have taken from myths and folktales have been adapted to the story I am trying to tell, but where I have made creative adjustments, I will try to point out the changes below.

Erebus Forest In Greek mythology, Erebus is the personification of darkness. Some Ancient Greek authors also use Erebus to describe the particular form of gloom found in the Underworld. The concept of Erebus is most famously mentioned in Homer's Iliad, in which Erebus is the physical location that Hercules must venture into to collect the three-headed dog Cerberus. This mythology inspired the name of the forest in Foolish Fire due to the importance of how dark this particular forest gets and the impact this has within this story.

Will-o'-the-wisps These little creatures are tricky beings found in numerous forms in various European folktales. Traditionally known for mimicking the flickering light of a lantern, will-o'-the-wisps use their light to deceive weary travellers into getting lost.

Within this story, I decided to make it so that the will-o'-the-wisps are utilised by other creatures in the forest to capture prey and have a particular ability to cause a dreamlike trance in their victims. The title for this fic comes from the Latin translation for Will-o’-the-Wisp (ignis fatuus), which directly translates to foolish fire in English.

Belisama Lake The lake Feyre finds herself wading into during Foolish Fire is called Belisama Lake, a name inspired by the Celtic Goddess of lakes and fire, whose name, it has been reported, translates to ‘Most Mighty One’. During the Roman period, the river currently known as Ribble River, which runs through the North of England, was referred to as the Belisama in honour of the Goddess.

The Monster in the Lake The creature Feyre encounters in the waters of the Erebus forest was inspired by a mixture of one very famous creature from Scottish folklore, and an aquatic beast from approximately 240 million years ago.

The Loch Ness Monster The concept of creatures lurking beneath the surface in large bodies of water was not new in 1933 when the Loch Ness Monster was first brought to light on a global scale, however, Nessie is perhaps the most famous of all mythological lake monsters. Nestled in the Scottish Highlands, Loch Ness attracts vast numbers of tourists every year, hoping to catch a glimpse of the famed creature who is said to reside there.

The Nothosaurus Whilst the inspiration to add an underwater challenge to Foolish Fire came from the legend of Loch Ness, the real-life inspiration for the creature itself comes from a long extinct semi-oceanic reptile, who at 14 metres in length, dominated waters in the Triassic Period. The Nothosaurus was a carnivorous animal with needle-like teeth and a thick tail that acted as a paddle to steer it through the water.

The Empusa This shape-shifting female, with one copper leg (and sometimes a donkey’s leg, too), is commanded by Hecate in Greek mythology and uses her abilities to seduce and feed on young men. For this reason, she was compared to a vampire in the ‘Dictionary of Greek and Roman Biography and Mythology’ by William Smith (1849).

In Foolish Fire, the Empusa roams the woodlands of Pythian and is one of the most wanted creatures by all seven High Lords for the numerous violent deaths she causes yearly.

The Waterfall The waterfall Rhys and Feyre stumble upon in chapter three is inspired by Plitvice Lakes National Park and the stunning waterfalls that are found there.

The glowing element of the waterfall is inspired by the natural beauty of bioluminescent waters like those found in many locations such as New Zealand, Cambodia and the Maldives.

The Red Shoes The Red Shoes is a Danish fairytale, written by Hans Christian Anderson in the mid-1800's. It has been adapted numerous times, perhaps most famously in 1948 in a film adaptation by Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger. The tale also inspired singer-songwriter Kate Bush's seventh studio album of the same name.

The Cyclops Over the years there were many interpretations of cyclops in Greek mythology, famously however, three talented cyclopes named Arges, Steropes, and Brontes, help to craft Zeus's thunderbolt. With their distinct single eye in the centre of their heads, cyclopes are incredibly recognisable characters, even in the modern age.

Cerberus Hades three-headed dog Cerberus is the famed creature who guards the gates to the Underworld. His three heads and serpents tails makes him an incredibly terrifying creature in Greek mythology, but in Foolish Fire a baby Cerberus is the sweetest of all little pups and makes the perfect addition to Feyre and Rhysand's perfect little family.

Click here to find to the series masterlist

[nothinggold13]

Dunno iffen you've commented on this yet but: what, if any, are your thoughts surrounding Netflix's Narnia?

I have dropped a few thoughts here and there since it was announced, but I'm not sure I ever gathered the entirety of my thoughts into one place.

The short of it is that I am both scared and hopeful.

I am extremely defensive of Narnia, and have been since the moment it caught hold of my heart; there are a million things that could go wrong, and I'm never unaware of them. The sanctity of Lewis' world and vision is extremely important to me, and I'd be both heartbroken and furious if Netflix produced the series in a way that directly dishonoured it. And, if that happens, I will be first in line to complain.

But I also hate how dismissive and unhopeful everyone is being at the mere concept. Since Greta Gerwig was officially announced as a writer/director, there's been even more complaints of "how about Netflix just keeps their hands off???" and I honestly find it exhausting to read that much negativity. Personally, I've never seen anything Greta's directed. I know some people love how she did Little Women, and other people hate it; I know that I'm feeling cautious about the new Barbie movie, but I also admire the care she put into making it real with practical effects rather than CGI everything. I think there's potential in that kind of vision, especially as long as Douglas Gresham retains an important role in production, and if there's other varied creative minds behind the project as well. Right now, there's still more we don't know than there are things we do. I think a lot of us could afford to take a step back and save complaining for when Netflix has actually done something inarguably wrong with the series, and instead spend our time trying to make sure Netflix hears what the books are valued FOR, so they know what we want.

It's easy to be scared. But you know what else? I LOVE visual media. As a Narnia editor, I love the idea of having canon images to use to edit books and characters we've never seen on screen before. I love the hope that maybe we could get a more accurate production timeline this time around. I love the mere thought that maybe this time they could give us a golden-haired Lucy. And I am OBSESSED with the idea that we might finally get ALL SEVEN BOOKS ADAPTED.

I have been dreaming about seeing The Last Battle on screen for years. I have been dreaming about the design, and the colours, and the music, and the moment that all the faces we have known and loved since the series began appear before us again, all sparkling with joy and eternity, because we have reached chapter one, and for us its the end, but for them it's the beginning. I love reading those final chapters. But I am aching to see them brought to life. Can't you just IMAGINE IT? Dreaming of the soundtrack alone gives me butterflies. It could be. so. good.

And if Netflix fails to deliver, I still won't be giving up on that hope. I'll just be crossing my fingers and praying that the next company that purchases the rights to adapt the series finally sees it through. (Or that, by some bizarre opportunity, I will be able to adapt it myself. Honestly, Netflix, just hire me already.)

Again: I am scared. There is so much they could do wrong, and if they do anything directly disrespectful to the books and their role in Lewis' legacy, I will be picking up my torches and pitchforks with everybody else. I've got plenty of anger. I will direct it that way if they deserve it.

But right now, we can still have hope. And I am clinging to it until it is no longer deserved.

[savage-rhi]

Mending Shadows // Chapter 24

Summary:

Y/N was a simple Scavenger of Lucis, until meeting a deadly blow at the hands of an infected creature. At the crossroads of death, they are found by Niflheim’s cryptic Chancellor with his own agenda. Now bonded to Ardyn Izunia, and tossed into the world of Niflheim, Y/N struggles to cope with their new life as an Imperial Icon all the while battling their feelings toward their fate and that of Ardyn’s.

Click here to read on AO3

The inside of the bathhouse was quiet. Steam rose from the natural springs that the establishment was built around. It was complimented by low lighting, and soothing ambiance that screamed Altissian decorum. Y/N gazed over the walls while their body soaked, admiring the craftsmanship that went into some of the tile decorations. The blue and turquoise greens glimmered from time to time against the warmth of candles nearby. A thick fog of incense smoke slithered through the air, intermingling with the hot steam coming from the surface of the water. The scent was sweet and earthy, and not one Y/N could recall to mind. Nevertheless, they liked it. 

Inside the springs was like being cocooned in another world. For a while, Y/N didn’t think about anything. The scourge, the war, and all their obligations might as well have been a million miles away. Even the attempt at Ardyn’s life almost forty eight hours ago seemed distant. 

The heat of the water numbed their aches from the scourge, and their mind of discomfort. It was funny in a way to Y/N. If they could live twenty-four-seven in a hot tub or something equivalent, they could see themself surviving the scourge and its full misery. Then again, this plague was one that loved to adapt to a challenge. It took Ardyn 800 years before he settled with his lot, and Y/N doubted they had the same endurance as he. 

The scourge seemed to have read Y/N’s mind about their little plan, for they felt their shoulders tighten. They gasped aloud. Perhaps this was a warning, or at the very least it felt like an underlying threat. Y/N took this time to gaze downward at their right shoulder. Near the collarbone was a scourge patch, followed by a deep rash that every so often ached like a burn. They noted the color was more pale in comparison to the other day. Instead of violent reds, it had muted to lighter pinks and orange specks.

Y/N recalled how excruciating the mark was initially. It was almost as if they were being branded like cattle, with no warning for when the hot iron would stick to their flesh. Even after hunkering down at the lodge hours later, the rash remained. At first, Y/N chalked this up to a sign that the scourge was getting worse, but the heaviness of it felt like another matter entirely. 

The thought of the mildew texture of the scourge on their tongue, and how they choked on their own bile during the bleedthrough pulled Y/N out of their thoughts. With a shudder, they grimaced and shook their head. Even after all this time, it was strange to acknowledge something so putrid coursed through their body like a spare blood supply.

Their mind shifted toward Ardyn, wondering if he was alright from the attack. The situation was serious enough to where he couldn't budge from the House of the Courts, nor could he communicate with anyone until the entire establishment was cleared. Y/N reassured themself. If he was worse for ware, Ardyn wouldn't have broken protocol to send a message to Y/N about the Altissian Springs. Nor would he have dived into a history lesson via text on how the waters soothed scourge marks. Much less would he suggest they meet up after Y/N had their fill enjoying a private bath at said springs. 

It was easier said than done though not to fret after what Y/N experienced. They wondered what Ardyn saw on his end during the bleedthrough, and what sort of memories of theirs he had access to now. 

That can wait for later...The rash began to act up, and Y/N cupped some water in their left palm and splashed the area. Upon hearing footsteps, their actions ceased. Squinting their eyes, Y/N looked through the thick fog coming up from the spring water. A loud creak suddenly emitted from the entry doors, and the sound reverberated for a few seconds before the doors clicked closed. 

Save for the few workers in the main office, no one was allowed inside. It was all a matter of security, according to Ardyn. To keep Y/N safe for the remainder of their stay in Altissia while tensions were high. He privately booked this time slot just for they and they alone. 

So, who the hell is that…? Y/N thought to themself. Their answer soon arrived upon seeing Ardyn’s form come into view, and Y/N felt their heart stammer. 

He was naked save for a cerulean towel that was wrapped around his waist. It looked like the one Y/N wore earlier when they first ventured into the spring suite. Scourge marks littered his flesh and left him paler than usual. He was having an inflammation attack, much like Y/N had experienced numerous times. 

“Gods…”

“I’m afraid they didn’t wager a hand on this,” Ardyn quipped. His voice a tad too quiet in comparison to his usual grandiose. 

The closer he got, Y/N noticed the bags under his eyes. Ardyn looked so tired that Y/N was surprised he hadn’t fallen asleep right then and there. They wondered how something as old as he felt right at this second. That's when Ardyn locked his gaze with Y/N. Visible confusion dwelled in his amber eyes that had Y/N taken back. It was almost as if he knew what they had been thinking. 

Ardyn’s features quickly changed. He went back to neutrality, yet he did smile. 

“I didn’t mean to startle you,” Ardyn said softly. He stopped near the edge of the spring tub Y/N was in, and carefully sat down. His right hand held onto the towel so it wouldn't slip off and expose him. Eventually, Ardyn put both his feet into the water and let out a deep sigh in relief. He leaned his head forward, letting his auburn hair fall over his eyes. 

He looks like he's on cloud nine...

“I didn’t think I’d be seeing you so soon.” Y/N sunk into the water. Though the pool was murky due to the natural minerals and was therefore dark, they felt self-conscious being around Ardyn in this state. They themself were naked after all. 

“Well, here I am. In the flesh.”  Ardyn mused with a dark chuckle. He closed his eyes, letting his body get used to the heat. Afterward did he carefully push back his loose strands of hair, and adjusted his posture so he was once more sitting upright. 

“Shouldn’t you be somewhere hiding out?”

“Why would I cower away?” Ardyn raised a brow as his eyes opened. 

“You’re a political figure who nearly got slain. I mean, isn’t there a protocol for that sort of thing?” 

“Yes,” Ardyn nodded. He let out a huff. “And I chose to ignore it after the dust settled and the perpetrators were taken into custody.” 

“Why?” 

“I couldn’t very well leave you alone. Not when those that wish to harm me know you're a guest among my company." Ardyn shrugged.

“There’s plenty of Niflheim soldiers you brought along on this trip,” Y/N countered. “You could’ve had them or even Loqui watch over me here while you recouped somewhere safe.”

“As much as I adore his excellency’s personal foot soldiers, the emperor's men proved incompetent during the court fiasco. I wouldn’t forgive myself if they allowed you to perish under my command.” 

Y/N wasn't sure if their body was overheating from the water, but their pulse rose from his words. Blood rushed to their cheeks at how sincere he was. At least he was attempting to be. 

“You could get yourself killed.” Y/N sighed in protest. 

Ardyn chuckled. “You forget that I am immortal. Such altercations don’t have me worried about my welfare. If I am vanquished by someone’s hand, I’ll wake up at Angelgard like it was all a bad dream sooner or later.” 

“You make it sound like it’s happened a lot.” Y/N let out a nervous laugh. 

“Oh yes,” Ardyn mused. “I’ve honestly lost track. It gets rather boring, you see.”

“I can’t imagine!” Y/N laughed, watching Ardyn’s lips curl into a genuine smile. He breathed while rubbing the back of his neck, and it looked as if he could already feel sweat trickling down his skin from the humidity. 

“I’m sure you have a thousand questions as to what transpired. I know I’ve been vague thus far.” 

“And I can tell you’re not in a mood to answer every one of them.” Y/N smiled amidst the worry that was no doubt being conveyed through their eyes. “At least answer me this: what’s going on with your body?” 

Ardyn mulled over their question for a while, rehearsing in his head before deciding to grace Y/N with an appropriate answer. 

“I overexerted myself,” he admitted. “Some of the protestors took to arms when they were not allowed into the main chambers to confront everyone. As soon as they cast the first stone and attacked, I took action while keeping the Imperial Representatives safe. When I battle, I sometimes experience a frenzy through the scourge. My daemonic tendencies like to creep through. However, given my predicament, I couldn't let loose since I had an audience. What you're seeing before you is a punishment for holding back. The body keeping the score as one would say."

Y/N swallowed. “Is it normally this bad?” 

“No,” Ardyn replied. “In the past, at most I’ve had nose bleeds, but never inflammation and not to this extent. Not with the pain. It feels like I'm on fire. I believe the serum MedZin infected me with brought my defenses down. At least that's what Verstael theorizes how it works."

“It’s my fault.” 

“Y/N,” 

“It’s got to be. What with the bleedthrough and everything, and our bond--.” 

“Y/N,” He raised his voice slightly so as to not spook them and yet command attention. Ardyn gave a reassuring nod toward Y/N after catching wind of the sadness in their eyes. “Even if our bond contributed, it’s but a fragment compared to what the serum has done to my body. Please relax your conscience, and trust me.” 

The cadence of Ardyn's voice gave no reason for Y/N to be suspicious he was lying for the sake of pacifying. It didn’t subside all the guilt Y/N had, but his word was enough for now. They didn’t want to argue with him either. Not when he was hurting so bad. 

Y/N sighed. “What were the protestors speaking out against?” 

Ardyn was surprised at the change in subject, assuming Y/N would move on to the bleedthrough. Nevertheless he indulged them. 

“With surprise, it wasn’t because of the betrothal ceremony,” he chuckled. “The majority were Lucian sympathizers and anti-imperials. They were enraged over the agreement Madam Secretary made with Niflheim some months ago. Allowing more of our navel fleet to pass through Accordo’s seaway to reach Lucis. Apparently, some of our men have bullied the sea fairing folk along one of the waterways, thus causing strife.”

“What’s to be done about that?” 

“Nothing for now. It’s all hearsay until evidence is gathered. Obviously, they didn’t take kindly to our commitment of due process.” Ardyn had an epiphany as he decided to change the course of the conversation. “Speaking of evidence, did you get on well with Betrys D’Bhara regarding the tomb?” 

For a moment, Y/N looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Ardyn was tempted to repeat himself, but he held back to give Y/N a chance to recalibrate. He slightly smirked, knowing that sometimes Y/N's mind liked to jump ten steps ahead before their mouth could catch up. 

“I’d say we hit it off a little too well,” Y/N murmured and snorted under their breath. Before they’d allow Ardyn to question their statement, Y/N continued. “Betrys said the tomb was located off a small island near Avem. She stressed that if you want to have a look for yourself, you gotta do it ASAP. From what it sounded like, it’s going to be closed off indefinitely once Lucian officials catch wind.” 

“Ah, what fortune!” Ardyn sighed in relief. Hearing the news caused some of the tension he had been holding in his body to die down. “I think after another day of recuperation, we should make haste for Avem. The wedding isn’t for another week, so there’s plenty of time to tackle the tomb.” 

“We?” 

Ardyn nodded. “I wouldn’t mind you accompanying this little excursion of mine. Unless of course you’d rather be frolicking about with Higher Imperials and socialites?” 

“As if!” The blunt disdain of Y/N’s tone caught Ardyn off guard and he laughed. Life seemed to return to his eyes, and it almost pained Y/N for what they were about to drop on him. 

“I hate to kill the vibe,” Y/N began. “But the information came with a price.” 

“Price?” Ardyn furrowed his brows. “Did Betrys put you up to something incredulous?” 

“She said you owe her a night on the town. A date.” Y/N coughed, trying to ignore how cute it was that he was concerned for them. “I tried to redirect her on your behalf, but she wouldn’t take no for an answer. She made a big deal out of you not paying your dues as of late.” 

Y/N had never seen a man look so humored and mortified all at once. It took courage to not even so much as let out a giggle at his expense. 

“I should’ve known that heifer of a woman would resort to an uncouth tactic,” Ardyn bitterly remarked. He canted his head with fascination. “How do you feel about it?” 

Y/N blushed. “Why would my opinion matter? It’s your ass on the line!” 

Ardyn chortled, biting the inside of his lip as he cheekily pressed forward. “What if I were to say I value your opinion at this stage of our companionship?”

“I’d say what’s the catch this time?” 

“That does so hurt my feelings,” Ardyn slyly feigned hurt. He smiled upon seeing Y/N roll their eyes at him albeit playfully. “I am nonetheless curious, and it would be an honor if you’d indulge me.” 

There was a strong part of Y/N that wanted to tell him not to go through with the arrangement, but they had no clue how to justify themself. Not without looking crazy. Not when Y/N didn’t know why they felt overprotective of him. Nonetheless, they couldn't leave him in silence.

"I’ve come to find rich and powerful people of Eos do weird things with and to each other. It’s not my place to judge since I didn’t grow up in this world. But given your history, I’m worried about you.” 

“My history?” Ardyn huffed. “You don’t think I can court?” 

Y/N’s mouth dropped. “I never said you couldn’t, but…”

“But? ” He said it so salaciously that if he weren’t practically naked, Y/N would’ve found a way to drag him into the spring and dunk his head underwater. 

“2,000 years is a long time to not be in the dating scene.” 

“What makes you believe I haven’t had my way with numerous charming women or men who have been taken with me?” He almost looked appalled even with his sly comeback. 

Y/N hesitated. “Because of the loyalty you had for Aera.” 

Ardyn narrowed his gaze. He felt strange as mixed feelings flooded him. Anger at being called out, and joy that someone understood that old side of himself so deeply. He felt he should've known better. That Y/N would see through his coltish pride. 

“I didn’t mean to offend you. I just know because of the bleedthrough.” 

“It’s quite alright,” Ardyn gently dismissed. He sighed through his nose, and loosened his features. A faint smile pressed itself upon his lips as he tenderly recalled a memory of his beloved. How Aera plucked up the courage to tell him she had feelings for him, and how he had been clueless. It felt like both an eternity ago, and as if it happened yesterday. Time was a cruel temptress. 

“You know,” Ardyn murmured delicately. “I remember being surprised when she fell for me.” 

“Why, don’t you like yourself?” Y/N sarcastically quipped. His laugh made their body jump, causing the water around their chest to slosh. 

“I do, I just didn’t think it was contagious!" 

There was a moment of silence that arrived after the laughs died down. The only noise that dwelled within the room was the sound of moisture droplets meeting the water's surface as the humidity increased. 

Ardyn cleared his throat and gestured with his head toward Y/N. “Mind turning the other cheek so that I may submerge?” 

“Uh,” Y/N did a double take, then nodded while tucking a strand of their hair back. They averted their gaze downward. “Yeah, go for it.” 

Y/N didn’t dare look up as they heard the towel hit the tile floor and the sound of water splashing. They felt their body sway from the small waves Ardyn created after he jumped in. As he walked along the bottom, Y/N could feel the movement of his legs underwater. A weight fell upon their chest, and their heart rapidly sped. 

“There are other pools available,” Y/N said before they could stop themself. They glanced between the water’s dark green hues and Ardyn who was now chest deep and making himself comfortable a few feet away.  “You could have one to yourself.” 

Ardyn swam toward the pool ridge, leaning his head against the edge while he contently closed his eyes and laughed at the remark. “I don’t much care for large bodies of water. It gives me, shall we say, apprehension. Though if my presence offends you I could--”

“No!” Y/N interrupted. They realized how desperate that sounded especially when they met Ardyn’s eyes and the mocking expression he gave. “Forget about it. I just didn’t want to embarrass your honor, as the socialites say.” 

Ardyn snorted. “Embarrass my honor?”

“You know, see you naked.” 

“I took you for being shy but not a prude.” Ardyn teased. 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” 

“Take from it what you will.” Ardyn shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s not my place to solve every riddle for you.” 

“At least I’m not scared of open water like some people.” Y/N quipped.

“At least I acknowledge the primal fear,” Ardyn said bluntly. “Unlike someone who is terrified of potentially seeing a naked man in full. It’s quite telling of your lack of maturity.” 

Y/N scoffed. Embarrassment was close to how they would describe feeling at this particular moment. Ardyn's chortles after the fact didn’t help. He definitely won this battle of wits, much to Y/Ns chagrin. 

Y/N was thankful Ardyn didn’t seem to have anything else clever to say at the moment. He began to clean himself, his hands splashing water against scourge ridden skin. That was when something red caught Y/N's attention from the corner of their eye. Something unsettling. 

There was a large dark scab upon Ardyn's right shoulder. The exact spot where Y/N's own rash was located.

Y/N's eyes nearly bulged, wondering why they hadn't noticed until now. 

“Ardyn,”

“Hm?” He canted his head curiously as concern began to take root against his features. 

“Is that from the attack?” Y/N lifted their right hand out of the water and gestured toward the injury. 

Ardyn looked down. “A rather embarrassing moment on my part. Prior to the full brawl, a protestor managed to knife me mid-handshake. Oldest trick in the book and I fell prey to it!” 

Ardyn smiled. He was about to say something wittier until he caught onto how scared Y/N appeared. Before Ardyn could ask what was wrong, the rash and scourge markings on Y/N's shoulder came into his peripheral. His features became cold, almost stoic while he put two and two together.

“You felt what happened to me, didn’t you?” Ardyn asked quietly. He swam over to Y/N until he was standing in front of them. 

“Yeah,” Y/N muttered with a nod. “I think I might’ve.” 

“I see.” Ardyn glared and cast his gaze to the tiled wall not far from them, blinking a few times while he contemplated. 

Y/N let out a breath. “During this last bleedthrough, it popped up. I felt like my arm was being ripped open, and the rash appeared. Of all places, it happened at The Serpent Society's headquarters.”

“Did Tuti come to your aid during this blight?” 

“Yeah, Tuti made sure I was safe when that happened. She shielded me from everyone.” Y/N paused for a moment to think. “Ardyn, what do you--”

“Did you feel or sense anything else?” His eyes were serious, poised as if to strike.  

“No,” Y/N shook their head while they recalled the odd wave of emotions that overtook them when they, Loqui and Tuti made it back to the residence.

One moment they felt anxious, and the next they had a strong urgency to protect what was around them. Loqui at one point had to step in and snap them out of it because of how irate Y/N had become. The anxiety felt natural. It was a common symptom Y/N experienced when the scourge flared. However, nothing could explain the overprotectiveness. It finally dawned on why Y/N felt at odds: the hypervigilance was Ardyn's feelings during the riot, not their own. It scared Y/N at how far they had blended into him without knowing. 

Y/N knew deep down their response was a lie, and they hoped Ardyn wouldn't catch onto it. 

“Good,” Ardyn sighed in relief as if his secrets remained under lock and key. He once more looked at his wound. The sharper edges were starting to seal up from his regenerative powers. He mulled over questioning Y/N further, then decided to speak his mind. 

“I’ve never had this happen before,” Ardyn began. “A physical manifestation of one’s wounds carrying on to another is unprecedented." 

"You felt your bonded die though when he killed himself." 

Ardyn frowned. "Though I felt the pain of the blade, and the sensation of my innards tumbling outward, it didn't truly happen to me. Not like this occurrence." 

“So,” Y/N let out a breath. “This is truly new for you?” 

“Yes,” Ardyn admitted. “It explains much on my end of things.” 

Y/N was curious as to what Ardyn meant by that. They wondered if he had been experiencing emotions that were out of place, or weren't exactly of his mind's own making. As much as they wanted to recant their earlier answer, Y/N didn't dare broach the subject. Now wasn't the time. Not when he was exhausted from what happened at the House of the Courts, and not when he was perplexed at what was going on between them.

Speaking of...Y/N's eyes widened a little. They thought back to some of their intrusive thoughts regarding Ardyn. Y/N hoped through their bond he hadn't picked up on such feelings. Especially the ones that had been more inclined to intimacy versus wanting to tear his head off. They were so caught up in worry, that Y/N didn't noticed how close Ardyn was to them. When it finally hit them, Y/N felt their skin tremble. 

Goosebumps began to prickle their way down Y/N's arms when Ardyn's calloused fingertips gently felt over the rash. A look of regret washed over his features that had Y/N confused. He looked guilty of something, but Y/N couldn't pinpoint the reason. 

“You must keep this information only between us,” Ardyn warned. His hardened gaze held a quiet plead. “I know you don’t speak with Verstael, but he can’t catch wind of what's going on. This is something we'll figure out together. In the meantime, I’ll do my part to not be as reckless so you won’t suffer for my actions.” 

Y/N’s breathing became unsteady. The humidity from the springs, and their nerves being contributors. That's when they felt a compulsion begin to manifest. Y/N wasn't sure if it was of their own volition, or from the peculiar bond they shared with Ardyn, but suddenly their hands reached for his body. Their palms rested against his chest before their fingers traveled upward, and smoothly traced over the wound; nearly mimicking the same motions he had applied to their own rash. 

“I promise I won’t say anything,” Y/N murmured. They noted how Ardyn winced from the contact, but he didn't back away. Nor did he demand they stop. 

Ardyn had every intention to back away, yet he remained in place. His thumb continued to rub circles near Y/N's rash. He couldn't help but lean more into the touch Y/N provided in turn. A wave of mixed feelings began to brew in his gut and spread out. All the while, Ardyn could've sworn he could hear two pulses ringing in his ears. That of his own, and that of Y/N's. He felt the danger that presented itself right then and there, and yet he couldn't resist the devil pulling him further into the shallows. The entities within his body rapidly spoke. He couldn't distinguish what was being said, but could feel something urging him on. 

The scourge wants this... As soon as his own voice broke through his psyche, the others drifted away, little by little. Until it was only he and he alone. 

I want this...

“Y/N,” He muttered their name quietly, hoping they wouldn’t hear but he watched their expression change to concern.

"Yeah?" 

Ardyn gestured his chin toward them. “That pin in your hair. Take it out.” 

Y/N was speechless. The request was odd, but they found themself doing as he said. They pulled the small object out from their head, allowing their dampened strands to fall and cradle their face. Further surprise came when both of Ardyn's hands cupped either side. Y/N felt nervous, seeing the way he looked at them. It was like his eyes were beholding something he had lost, and now having found it, wasn't sure if he could let it go again. 

The million and one questions Y/N had all but disappeared and were replaced by a sudden urgency; a strong desire to be close. As if the scourge needed to be at home with its own kind. As if Y/N needed to get this flighty feeling out of their system.

"Even with the scourge, your light remains." 

A somersaulting flutter in Y/N's stomach grew when he leaned forward, and pressed his nose to the crook of their neck. Y/N closed their eyes, feeling a million questions fly by along with a yearning. They were surprised that he didn't attempt to feed. Instead he pulled away, his eyes boring into theirs while he whispered. 

“My morning sun." 

Y/N's mind went blank as their hands reached around Ardyn's head. Their fingers entangled into his dampened locks, and they captured his lips in a deep kiss.

Ardyn gasped into Y/N's mouth. His body remained in freeze, until the soft warmth of Y/N's lips pulling against his own made him return the affections. Every part of himself was screaming to stop, but it felt too good. Y/N felt too good. 

The pulsing beat of both his heart and Y/N's in his head drove Ardyn mad with hunger. Quick pecks began to devolve into something more primal as Ardyn's right hand left Y/N's cheek, wrapping around their waist and pulling them flush to his chest. He felt so intoxicated that he hadn't noticed himself tempting one of Y/N's legs to hook around his waist. 

The water sloshed around both their naked bodies, and Ardyn felt Y/N’s teeth begin to pull and suckle his bottom lip. Before his tongue could beckon for entrance into Y/N’s mouth, that’s when Ardyn felt the bile of darkness creep through his veins. Feeling the scourge leak from his gums, Ardyn violently tore himself off of Y/N and pushed them to the side. He panted heavily, as if he had been drowning in a sea that he wished would've taken him elsewhere. 

He slowly glanced toward Y/N, seeing they too looked just as confused and shocked. There was also an underlying fear in Y/N’s eyes that made Ardyn look at them questionably. He caught his reflection in the water and saw his eyes were pitch black, save for the dying embers that were his irises. 

“I’m-” Ardyn began, but he couldn’t find any words. There was nothing he could say to fix this or save his own skin regarding his actions. Shame was one of the many emotions he felt as logic and reason returned. 

Y/N swallowed regrettably and reached out toward him. “Ardyn, I'm so sor--”

"Don't!" Ardyn recoiled away. He averted his gaze, and with haste wiped the side of his mouth and quickly swam for the edge. As he got out of the spring and grabbed his towel, Ardyn ignored the pleads of Y/N asking him to come back as he ventured to the exit.

Ardyn slammed the doors behind him, and Y/N was once again left alone. 

[hunterssm00n]

Brighter Than the Sun / part 2 /

Lex is starting to feel like herself again after the events on Bouvetoya Island... with a little help from a tall, dreadlocked knight in shining armor at her side! | Lex/Scar |

part 2 of 3

my Scar & Lex series on ao3: here

*no cw, just humor and fluff*

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧‎♡‧₊˚

hunterssm00n © All rights reserved by me. I do not allow this work to be used or adapted in any way without my permission.

Lex managed to get herself up and out of bed by ten in the a.m., which was actually pretty impressive considering she hadn't gotten home from her tour until around two in the a.m. Right now, she was still living in her little cubby in the Adirondacks. It was a bit chilly, since it was still winter in upstate New York (and by a bit chilly, she meant cold as hell). Lex had always liked the cold, and Bouvetoya, whilst colder than anything she'd ever experienced (in more ways than one), had done nothing to diminish her love for the crisp air. She knew that her intergalactic friend from the stars wasn't very keen on the cold, and this fact made her realize even more that he indeed had a soft spot for her; she suspected he wouldn't willingly come to this icebox for just anyone.

After dressing, she unhurridly began making breakfast. She had the day off, and she planned on doing absolutely nothing. Recently, she had started taking steady work again, and it was such a relief to be back at her game again. She loved her job; loved the self-fulfillment of it, as well as showing other people the beauty of the world. Her tours were continuing in the mountains right now, and she had taken a big group on a long hike yesterday that had tired her out. It had also taken a lot of her night up, which she had expected. That was why today, she was going to park her sore butt on the couch, and kick back with some junk food and movies.

As she was eating her pancakes and bacon on the couch, flipping through tv channels, she found her mind wandering to her alien pal yet again. It was funny to think those of those two words in one sentance: alien pal. Who ever in a million years would've thought? Lex had never really been one to believe in any of that anyways. She hadn't discounted it entirely - she knew, being a partial scientist, that many things were indeed possible, and didn't always have explanations. Truthfully, she had just never really thought about humanoids existing from other galaxies. Life on other planets, sure. Like water, and plants, and organisms that had capability of movement. But a seven foot tall, scale covered dude with dreadlocks and a pension for violence? Hell no.

This had to be the farthest thing in the universe away from how she thought her life would turn out. And there was still more to come. Lex wondered, as she often did, what was awaiting her in the future. Would this relationship - friendship she had with this extraterrestrial continue? Would it escalate? Would he grow tired of her, and how very different she was from his race? Her brow furrowed at the thought; she didn't want to consider that.

A knocking sound came from her front door, and, mouth full, she turned her head towards it. Who would be visiting her at eleven a.m. on a Tuesday? Swallowing, she placed her plate on the couch cushion beside where she had been sitting, and rose to investigate. Pulling her sweater more tightly around her body, she crossed the short walk towards the entry to the house. Reaching one hand out, she peeked out the curtain, more of that bright sunlight streaming in through the window pane, making her squint to see who was at her door. A blonde woman, pretty face, waved excitedly back at her. Karen. Holy shit. Lex had completely forgotten that she had invited her friend over to her home that morning for coffee; she hadn't seen the woman in weeks, and Karen was finally back in the area after a brief vacation to the Bahamas.

Smiling back, Lex opened the heavy oak door and met her friend with open arms. "It's so good to see you! I'm so sorry, I totally forgot; I feel like the worst friend ever!"

Squeezing her tight, Karen didn't sound the least bit upset, a smile in her voice as she replied cheerily, "Oh, no worries, you've been busy as all hell! I'm just glad you're here - it's been way too long!"

Apologizing again for having pajama's on, Lex invited Karen into the warm house. She decided to make more pancakes and bacon for her friend to share, as well as turning on her coffee maker, while the two engaged in idle, pleasant chit-chat. Karen and Lex hadn't been as close as they normally had been lately. But to be fair, Lex had never really been close with anybody - she didn't have a best friend. And the friends that she did have, she grew even more distant from after everything had happened in Bouvetoya. She looked forward to talking with Karen more often; it was always refreshing to get together and just hang out with a friend, talk about life, recent experiences, etc.

There was one recent life experience, though, that Lex planned on keeping to herself. Karen probably wouldn't take too lightly Lex talking about aliens after knowing about her supposed 'unstable' mental state since the events on the frozen island. Though nobody else but herself knew that aliens were the cause of that misfortune, but she planned to keep everything to herself just the same. For her own safety, and for Scar's.

A little while later, Lex and Karen were sitting on her couch, coffee mugs in hand, talking about another one of their friends, Mariah, who had recently gotten engaged. Lex had been so disconnected from everything, that she hadn't even known Mariah had met someone. They were laughing about past dating experiences when there came a sudden thud from the roof. Lex, eyes wide, swallowed her coffee noisily in realization, and Karen jumped. "Oh, Jesus, Lex, that must scare the shit out of you every single time! That's the problem with living under the trees: once the snow comes crashing down, it sounds like an avalanche!" she giggled. Lex laughed with her, trying very hard to discern whether or not it was actually snow, or if it was something else. Someone else. For a few moments, there was no other noise besides Karen speaking, continuing their subject from before, and Lex was just about to relax when the scrabbling of feet (claws) on her roof made the hair on the back of her neck stand up.

Worst. Timing. Ever.

Lex had grown to really like Scar, but she had no idea how she was going to explain this one to Karen. Crap.

"Man, that stuff's really coming down!" Karen exclaimed, looking up at the ceiling, "Do you think my car's okay out there? It's under one of those giant pine trees,"

"Um, yeah, you know what? I'll go check on it." Lex stated, setting her coffee down on the table a little too forcefully, so some sloshed over the rim and onto her coffee table.

"Oh, I'll come wit-"

"Oh no, Karen, it's fine, really! It's cold out there, you stay in here where it's warm, I've got it, don't worry!" Lex said in a rush, practically running towards the door. Karen gave her a puzzled look before shrugging it off and sipping at her warm beverage.

Lex practically threw her coat around her shoulders, not even zipping it up before she was out the door, slamming both of them shut in her haste. She had closed them just in time, too, because as soon as she did, a huge creature that seemed to fall straight from the sky (or rather, her roof) landed heavily on two feet in the snow right in front of her porch. Straightening from his crouched position, Scar stood to his full height, chittering in greeting at her.

"Scar, hey buddy, um, listen -" She barely made it off the porch before she was swept up into those massive arms and squeezed against that brick wall of a chest in a giant bear hug. "Ow, Scar, can't breathe..." She patted him on the back in greeting as he set her down on her feet, holding a hand on her shoulder to steady her. Swaying as she gazed up at him, she once again tried to explain the situation to him. "Hey, can you come back in, like, two hours? I, um, someone who doesn't know about you is h-"

"Lex?" Came a faint voice from behind her, growing louder as a creak preceded the door opening, "Are you alright? I hear voices." Lex swung around towards her female friend, wondering how on earth she was going to explain the massive being in front of her. Well, this is going to be just great.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧‎♡‧₊˚

AN: I do not own the Alien vs Predator franchise or any of it's characters. Karen is an OC made up by me. I also do not own the song 'Brighter Than the Sun' by Colbie Caillat.

part 3

[riemmetric]

Some thoughts about storytelling and TV shows.

I'm going through a stressful time right now (for happy reasons, though!) and so I've fallen a little bit in a habit of watching random episodes of various shows I'm interested in before bed. Because I'm impatient and my brain goes a million kilometers per hour, I can't help but read IMDB pages and look at tumblr gifs, so a lot of the stuff I watched is already "spoiled" for me (in quotations marks because these are called spoilers, but they don't always stop me from watching a a show or take away from my enjoyment of it).

This post contains spoilers.

I watched Sports Night in the last two weeks because of Aaron Sorkin's writing and it made me think about how much the constraints coming for the network producing the show influence the story. The show was marketed as a comedy, even featured a laugh track in the first season, the episodes were only 20 minutes, and it didn't survive past the second season. The ratings were just not good. There are plenty of interesting themes in this show that I felt were only superficially explored and I blame it on all of the factors I listed. We didn't get a deep dive into Dan's mental health issues, because it wouldn't have been very funny. We didn't get any closure on the Dana and Casey situation, because the show ended prematurely. There was very little debate about the importance of sports and sports journalists, because the episodes were only 20 minutes, and they also had to contain jokes and relationship drama and an obligatory heartfelt monologue at the end. I'm so, so happy that Sorkin remade this idea into The Newsroom, a much more serious show, with a bigger budget, the ability to say fuck and a timeline that feels complete. It was an idea so good it was worth a second try and it paid off. It made me think about all the ideas I wasn't skilled enough to make happen, it made me think about all my past projects that deserve a second chance and it made me at peace with the concept of reusing writing that I love in new ways. Nothing is ever truly lost.

I watched a few episodes of The Good Wife because of Josh Charles and Matt Czuchry (only Matt was not enough to convince me to watch a seven season legal drama). I found them interesting, compelling, and I love they way they were filmed and colored (they remind me of Suits and The Newsroom, which both aired around the same era of television; some parallels to think about here). But I couldn't help myself and I read the IMDB page of the show, which told me Josh Charles' character dies in the middle of season 5. I watched that episode (minus epsilon, plus epsilon, which is a fun way for me of saying I also watched the episode before and after) and I liked how the story portrayed the sudden death of an important person in the characters' lives, the grief and the dissonance that come with going through a life altering event before lunch and having to continue the rest of the day among people who have no idea what just happened. It's a good piece of writing and in real life death does happen at inconvenient times, it does make you ask why over and over again with no answers to be had, so the death of a beloved character in the middle of a season is anything but unrealistic. But I couldn't help wondering. Did it really happen because the writers thought it was an important story to be told, or did it happen because Josh Charles wanted to leave the show? (I haven't gone to investigate this thought). Was the story the most important thing considered here, or was simply a contract, a real life issue, dictating the story, taking it in a different direction that was originally planned? It made me think about how fickle of a medium TV is, about all the different ways in which parts of the story have to be sacrificed. It made me think about the different ways in which writers have to adaptable, about how in TV you are sometimes forced to kill your darlings instead of it being just good advice. And it made think about the fascinating process of writing a story with the help of a community, all these different people - actors, directors, editors - contributing to the story. It's not the writer at their desk controlling everything, it's a different beast entirely, a beast with many hearts.

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball: Evolution (USA, 2009)

The Gaijin Live-Action Trilogy comes to a close with “Dragon Ball: Evolution”.  Regardless of which movie is your favorite, I think it’s fair to say that DBE was easily the most disappointing.  “Fight/Win” and “Magic Begins” were unofficial, low-budget movies from the early 1990′s, while “Evolution” was produced by 20th Century Fox.  They spent seven years and 30 million dollars on this turkey. And they had actually gone to the trouble to acquire the legal rights to make the movie.  And yet...

The movie ended up being a critical and commercial flop.  In the fandom, “Dragon Ball: Evolution” has become a byword for failure.  Even Akira Toriyama expressed disappointment with the film, which is pretty rare for him. 

For my part, I was kind of intrigued when the movie came out in 2009, and I had some hopes that it might lead to big things for the franchise.  And I remember it being okay when I saw it, but I was quick to notice that there weren’t many people in the theater that day. 

I didn’t really get mad about the movie until I saw the 2011 Thor movie, which proved that a big studio could have done a better job adapting a superhero fantasy world.  Believe it or not, there was a time when live-action adaptations of comic books were just expected to suck.   The studio would just change a bunch of shit for no good reason or to make the movie cheaper and easier to film, and if you didn’t like it then you just didn’t understand movies or something.  The idea that the movie people needed to understand the comic didn’t really gain traction until the first X-Men film came out in 2000, and even then, it was understood that the movies were under no obligation to get it right, or even try to get it right. 

So I graded DBE on a curve back then, and as the MCU Phase 1 movies started to premiere, I got more and more irritated at Fox for failing to recognize the moment.  And now, 14 years later, I’m watching DBE for the second time ever and wondering why I ever thought it was okay.  It’s a terrible movie, with only occasional flashes of appreciation for the source material.  In hindsight, I realize now that I only enjoyed DBE as much as I did because of wishful thinking.  I just really wanted to like it, and I so managed to convince myself that I didn’t hate it.

But now?   Yeah, I hate it.  This movie sucks ass.  Let’s dive in.

We open with exposition, which is generally a bad sign for movies like these.  For one thing, they go over this information several times throughout the movie, so there’s absolutely no reason to spell it out at the very beginning. 

So, like the Korean and Taiwanese live action films, this one also dares to retell the story of the first Dragon Ball hunt.  Goku meets Bulma and they search for the seven Dragon Balls, but this is 2009, and that trick has been done several times already.  A timeline...

1984-1985: Chapters 1-23 of the Dragon Ball manga.

1986: Episodes 1-13 of the Dragon Ball anime.

1986: Dragon Ball: Curse of the Blood Rubies

1990: Dragon Ball: Fight, Son Goku! Win, Son Goku!

1991: Dragon Ball: The Magic Begins

1996: Dragon Ball: The Path to Power

2009: Dragon Ball: Evolution

Even if the audience wanted to see this again, it still would have been a bad idea, simply because of how many times it had been done before.  More importantly, this was an American movie, made primarily to attract business from American fans, most of whom were introduced to the franchise through Dragon Ball Z, not the Pilaf Saga.  Fans didn’t want to see Master Roshi and Mai, they wanted Vegeta and Frieza and Super Saiyans.  This is probably why Fox put Piccolo in the role of the lead villain.   Let’s face it, it just makes sense.  Korea and Taiwan stuck to Emperor Pilaf, but they ended up turning Pilaf into some overpowered badass.  You might as well swap him out for Piccolo, a villain who actually fills that role. 

And also, DBE was meant to serve as the first installment of a trilogy.  This was all the rage back in the late 2000′s, as movie studios deluded themselves into thinking they could turn any movie into three movies just by wishing for it really hard.   Terminator 4, 5, and 6 were each supposed to reboot the Terminator franchise, but none of them made enough money to pull it off, so they ended up becoming a trilogy of failed trilogies. 

So rather than having Piccolo and Vegeta fighting Frieza, like everyone probably wanted, this movie tries to take it slow, introducing Piccolo first, in order to set up Vegeta in the next movie.  Only there would be no next movie, so in hindsight they really would have been better off putting their best foot forward instead of holding back. 

Anyway, let’s get on with this.  So in this movie, Piccolo is basically the same as King Piccolo from the manga, except he tried to conquer the Earth 2000 years ago, instead of a few centuries ago.  He was defeated and sealed away by a powerful technique called the Mafuba, and in the events of this movie, he escapes and plots his revenge.  But he wasn’t alone back in the olden days...

And this right here is where the movie fucked up.  Piccolo’s sidekick villain is simply an ape-like creature named “Oozaru”.  So any fans watching this thing will immediately see the twist coming.  I suppose general audiences might not pick up on this, but come on. Oozaru is presented as Piccolo’s “disciple”, but he wasn’t captured like Piccolo was.  Instead he simply... “disappeared”.  This is undoubtedly meant to set up the Saiyans in the sequel, but there would never be a sequel.

So we move on to the present day, where Gohan is teaching is adoptive grandson Goku.  Goku looks like Frodo Baggins accidentally wandered into the wrong movie.  DBE Goku resembles a lot of other movie characters from around this period.  Frodo, Edward Cullen, Tobey McGuire Spider-Man.  I could probably keep going, but the one guy he really doesn’t resemble is Goku. 

Gohan defeats him in a sparring contest, and Goku is too frustrated with his social life to learn anything.  The kids at school bully him, and he can’t fight back because Gohan made him promise not to use his power.  Goku seems to understand this, but he’s also frustrated that he doesn’t know how to do anything else.  This movie tries to force Goku to fit into some sort of classic secret identity trope, where he has great power but he mustn’t reveal it.  In ‘09, I accepted this as a new take on the character.  In 2023, I’ve pretty much abandoned DC and Marvel superhero comics altogether, and I can see now how stupid this was.  It’s like doing a Bugs Bunny movie and making him act like Mickey Mouse.  It’s not going to impress Mickey Mouse fans.  All it does is expose your inability to understand the classic character you have. 

They wanted Goku to be Spider-Man so badly, or maybe Harry Potter.  And I’m like, fuck Spider-Man and Harry Potter.  Give us Goku, you cretins!

Or... yeah, the Twilight connection is really starting to seem more apparent to me.  Everything in this movie is blue or orange and it pisses me off. 

So Goku’s in high school and the teacher is explaining what a solar eclipse is, which reminds me way too much of Roger Corman’s Fantastic Four movie, where a college professor literally explains the cosmic MacGuffin that gives the FF their powers.  And Goku’s too busy crushing on his classmate, Chi-Chi.  He hallucinates her in a field of flowers, eating strawberries, which is kind of like... not exactly horny, but hornier than Goku needs to be, if that makes any sense.  Chi-Chi really doesn’t serve any purpose in this movie, except to be a love interest for Goku, which he doesn’t really need because there’s enough going on here as it is.  So Chi-Chi just sort of exists in the film, liking Goku for no particular reason and being this hot chick.  It’s dumb.

Then the teacher calls on Goku and asks him what their ancestors would say about a solar eclipse, and Goku stammers some crap about how the Earth was nearly conquered by the Namekians during an eclipse thousands of years ago.  Everyone laughs at him, but I don’t understand what the hell this movie is trying to establish here.  On the one hand, there’s all this secret lore about Piccolo and Oozaru nearly conquering the world, but on the other hand wouldn’t everyone kind of know about that?  I mean, there would be historical accounts of this terrible battle, right?  It would have altered the course of history, but these high school scenes make it look like the world is basically the same as our world. 

Later, Goku sees Chi-Chi struggling with the lock on her locker, and her homework assignment is trapped inside.  So Goku uses The Force his ki to open all the lockers.  This impresses Chi-Chi, who already knows about ki.  Meanwhile, I’m confused.  At the beginning of the movie, Gohan told Goku to use his ki, and he couldn’t do anything with it.  So why did he even try it here?  Maybe his boner for Chi-Chi unleashed his hidden potential?

Chi-Chi invites him to a party at her house, and he ditches his grandfather’s humble birthday celebration to attend.  Oh, right, it’s Goku’s 18th birthday, by the way.  The bullies from school try to intimidate Goku, but he stands his ground and defeats them by dodging all their attacks and getting them to defeat themselves.  It’s actually pretty true to Goku’s style in mismatches like this, and I’d give it a little credit, except it’s too similar to gags used in the Spider-Man and Superman films.  One thing that bothers me here: the bullies are using like kicks and flips and shit.  They seem pretty skilled in martial arts themselves.  Not on Goku’s level, obviously, but they’re not just stock football players or whatever.  It’s another example of this world being sort of a half-inch removed from reality.  It can’t decide if it wants to be the real world or a fantasy world like the one in the source material. 

Meanwhile, Piccolo and Mai barge into Gohan’s house and kill him.  They came looking for his Dragon Ball, but don’t realize that Gohan gave it to Goku that morning as a birthday present.  Goku took it with him to the party, so it’s not here. 

Okay, so let’s talk about the bad guys.  Mai is basically Mai from the Pilaf gang, but she works for Piccolo here.  She has a hole in her costume, which... I mean I’m not complaining, but I’m starting to see that this movie really uses eye candy as a crutch.  Like, Rey’s pretty good looking in the Star Wars movies, but there’s so much other cool shit happening in those things that it’s not the main thing.  Here, just about all you have to occupy your attention in DBE is ogling Chi-Chi, Mai, and Bulma. 

Piccolo absolutely sucks.  James Marsters wanted this role because he was such a huge fan of the franchise, and I always felt kind of bad for him because he seemed really excited at the prospect of playing Piccolo in the sequels, only for this movie to turn into such a huge flop.  I guess there’s a non-zero chance he’s reading this, so I don’t want to be too hard on him, but there’s just nothing to this character.  He just glowers menacingly, destroys a place, then collects the Dragon Ball and leaves.  He pops up briefly throughout the movie just to remind us that he’s doing stuff, but most of what we know about him comes from other characters talking about him.  He’s mad about being sealed away for 2000 years, but we never learn how he got unsealed.  For that matter, we never learn why he wants the Dragon Balls.  He seems to want to wish for world conquest, but he was doing pretty well on that front 2000 years ago.

Also, we never learn how he knows where the Dragon Balls are.  It’s like how Baby from GT knew where to send his lackeys.  We see Piccolo destroy a Japanese village and then Mai goes down to fetch the Dragon Ball from some lady, and it’s like she knew exactly where to go.  But here, they show up looking for Gohan’s Ball, and it’s like they knew it used to be here, but they don’t know where it’s gone?

Back at Chi-Chi’s place, Goku’s Spider-Sense is tingling, so he runs back home to check on his grandfather and finds him buried under the house.  He pulls him out the wreckage, where Gohan tells him to find all the Dragon Balls to stop Piccolo, and reminds him to “have faith in who you are.”  That’s like the moral of this movie.  That and “the first rule is that there are no rules”.  Just hackey drivel presented like some profound wisdom.  Also, there’s a poem about the Dragon Balls, like the verses etched in the One Ring from Lord of the Rings.  Then Gohan dies of terminal cliche and Goku buries him in a shallow grave.

The next day, Bulma breaks into the house... Well, I guess that’s a relative term, since the house is already half-destroyed.  She accuses Goku of stealing her “promethium orb”, because she tracked it to this house.  Goku realizes she’s talking about the Dragon Balls, and when he shows her his Four-Star Ball, she understands that it’s not the same as the Five-Star one she lost.

Okay, so a couple of things.  First, if Bulma has a Dragon Radar in this story, why is she just now learning that there’s more than one of these things?  Second, after Goku tells her about the Dragon Balls, she just drops the whole “promethium orb” thing.  That seems kind of weird, since she had this whole thing planned where she was going to use them as an unlimited power source.  I can’t see her abandoning the name she came up with. 

Anyway, Bulma is easily the best character in this movie.  She’s not quite authentic to the original character, but she’s constantly pointing guns at people and growling thinly veiled threats.  It’s sort of a half-Bulma, with all the badass two-fisted scientist stuff, but none of the flirty, bratty stuff.

Also, I have to give her credit for the one (1) streak of blue hair, which is more than the other live-action Bulmas ever got.  Seriously though, this is like a symbol of the entire movie.  They wanted to put Bulma in this thing, but they stopped short of giving her all-blue hair.  Like, which is it? Do you want Bulma or not?  And if the answer is no, then why are you doing a Dragon Ball movie in the first place?

So before Gohan died, he told Goku to seek out Master Roshi at Paozu.  As it turns out, Paozu is a big city, and Roshi’s house is located on a weird little island in the middle of a lake in the middle of the city. 

Roshi is played by Chow Yun-fat, which was probably a big “get” for the studio.  He’s also the worst live-action Roshi I’ve seen, and I wasn’t very impressed by the others.  This is just Chow Yun-fat screwing around in a Dragon Ball movie.  He doesn’t have the turtle shell on his back, which isn’t much of a surprise, but he also lacks the beard, sunglasses, and bald head.  He has a waifu cartoon on his shirt, and Bulma finds a bikini magazine in his stuff, and that’s about as pervy as he ever gets.  Seriously, Goku is a bigger horndog in this movie than Roshi. 

And I’m not that fussed about this, since I’m not a big fan of Roshi’s to begin with, but it’s weird to me how all three live-action adaptations went out of their way to include Roshi, but refused to go all-in on the portrayal.  Like, if you don’t want a problematic sex-pest in your movie, I totally understand, but the solution is not to tone down the character.  Now you still have the character in your movie, but you’ve stripped away the only personality he had.

The solution should have been just to do a different story, one without Master Roshi.  Just have Chow Yun-fat play some other character, like the Supreme Kai or whatever else you want.  But if he’s not gonna ogle girls and wear sunglasses and have a bald head, what’s the point of calling it Roshi?

Anyway, Roshi also has a Dragon Ball, and he fills in the others on the whole deal with Piccolo and the eclipse, and whatever else.  There’s a lot of mysticism thrown around with this plot, where I can’t tell if Piccolo’s return was just a quirk of fate or some fufilment of an ancient prophecy or something.  Also, every time Goku touches a new Dragon Ball, he has visions of the future. 

Roshi’s plan is to train Goku to defeat Piccolo, and to track down the Dragon Balls before Piccolo can get them all.  To do that, he takes Goku to some “secret” training ground, but it turns out to be full of kids beating the shit out of each other as they prepare for a martial arts tournament.  Goku runs into Chi-Chi there, and she reveals to him that she’s a martial artist, but none of the others at home know. I don’t understand what the point is to any of this.

So the good guys move on to a different, more secluded training ground.  On the way, Bulma drives into a hole, and this turns out to be a trap laid by Yamcha.  He offers to help them out, but only in exchange for payment.  This seems like a really dumb trap now that I think about it.  I mean, how long did it take him to dig this hole?  And he just assumes someone will drive into it, and that they’ll be rich enough to make this worth the trouble he went to.  I mean, past a point, it’d be simpler to just get a job, right?  Or at least go rob people in a big city, like a regular criminal.

They sit in the hole well into the night, and Roshi tells the story of Piccolo and Oozaru.  He warns that the coming eclipse will bring forth Oozaru, which is why they have to stop Piccolo before that happens.  Why? Isn’t Piccolo strong enough on his own?  The implication is that Oozaru is like his trump card or something, but I don’t buy that.  He killed Gohan effortlessly, and no one else has displayed any greater ability. 

Yamcha thinks the story is dumb, but he has to sit here and wait for them to pay him before he can move on.  Then Roshi just jumps out of the hole and offers him a deal.   If he could do that the whole time, then why did he wait so long to do it? 

Meanwhile, Mai has been following the good guys, and she reports back to Piccolo that Roshi is training Goku to oppose him.  Piccolo then has blood drawn from his arms, which he uses to bring life to... whatever these things are.   They’re like the Putty Patrol from Power Rangers, only even shittier.

Goku just tosses their bodies in lava, and uses them as a bridge to reach the next Dragon Ball.  Don’t ask how we ended up in a lava floe.  Anyway, when he touches the next Ball, he has visions of Oozaru killing the others, so he resolves to defeat Oozaru, and Roshi starts to lose confidence in their plan.  They won’t have time to track down the remaining Dragon Balls before the eclipse, so he heads for Toisan to consult with someone else for Plan B.

That someone is Sifu Norris, played by Ernie Hudson from the Ghostbusters movies.  A lot of geek journalist sites said that Hudson would be playing Mutai-Itoh, the master who trained Roshi and developed the Mafuba technique that defeated Piccolo in the original manga.  But the character’s name in ths movie is Sifu Norris, and while Roshi bows to him in deference, it’s not clear that Norris was Roshi’s teacher.  And he couldn’t have invented the Mafuba in this world, not unless he’s 2000+ years old. 

Anyway, Roshi never took the poem about the Dragon Balls seriously until now, when the signs are finally starting to come true.  So he apologizes for his doubts, and asks Norris to help him prepare another vessel for the Mafuba.  Roshi plans to seal up Piccolo all over again, at the cost of his own life. 

See, here’s why this doesn’t work properly.  In the original story, Roshi told the other characters all about Piccolo’s original attack on the world, and how his old master sacrificed his own life to seal Piccolo away.  That was important, because you need that established up front.  That way, when Roshi begins planning to use the Mafuba himself later on, the audience knows exactly what it means, and how desperate the situation is.  The audience also understands how Roshi would know the technique, as he was one of the only living witnesses to have seen the technique used.

But in DBE, we don’t get that.  We’re only told that the Mafuba is a technique that sealed Piccolo away.  We don’t find out that it kills the user until this scene, when Roshi and Norris say so.  Roshi says he’s the only one who can do it, but we never find out why.  When would he have learned the Mafuba?  Why would he have learned it?  He was never worried about Piccolo until a few days ago.  He certainly never saw it used the first time around, because it was before his time.  And why can’t Sifu Norris use it instead?  He seems more experienced in this sort of thing. 

Meanwhile, Goku meets with Chi-Chi at the Toisan tournament, while Bulma and Yamcha commiserate over the upcoming end of the world.  There is zero chemistry between these two, and Bulma says she likes bad men, so she’s already preparing to dump him for Vegeta, and they haven’t even introduced him yet.

Roshi shows Goku how to do the Kamehameha, and Goku says that he’s heard of the technique, but Gohan never taught him because he wasn’t ready.  Roshi says that Goku still isn’t ready, but he has to learn it anyway because they’re almost out of time.   Well if he’s not ready, then what good does it do to teach him?  This movie really can’t make up it’s mind about Goku’s ability.  We’ve already seen him use ki powers, even when the movie insists that he has no aptitude for this. 

As he struggles to light torches with his ki, Chi-Chi shows up and basically offers to make out with him if he does a good job.  That’s the other weird thing about this movie, it keeps presenting this notion that romantic intimacy makes you better at fireball karate.  I mean, that sounds awesome, actually, but it’s not Dragon Ball.

Later, Bulma finds Chi-Chi in Goku’s room, and she thinks they’re having sex, except Goku’s not in there, and Chi-Chi’s doing exercises somewhere else.  Turns out Mai disguised herself as Chi-Chi.  At the Toisan tournament, she was in a match with Chi-Chi, and managed to get a drop of her blood, which she somehow used to shapeshift into her?  I mean, that’s fine, I can believe Piccolo has special magic that lets Mai do that sort of thing, but I feel like they should have explained it in greater detail.   Anyway, Goku finds the two Chi-Chi’s fighting, and he beats the wrong one, and Mai shoots him.

Goku has a near death experience where Gohan tells him to believe in himself or some shit, while Roshi uses a Kamehameha to revive him.  Uh, okay?

So the bad guys have all the Dragon Balls, which normally means they’ve already made their wish, but in this movie there’s still time, because you have to take the Balls to the Dragon Temple to summon Shenron.  So Yamcha drives the gang over there, and partway into the trip he just reveals that his truck can fly like the DeLorean in Back to the Future II.  So why didn’t he do that before?

The bad guys are already at the Temple, so I’m not sure what the point was of making this like a chase or anything.  Fortunately for the good guys, it seems to take a long time for Shenron to get summoned. Roshi tries to use the Mafuba, but Piccolo shoots a ki blast at him and destroys the magic pot?  Yeah, let’s go with that.

So all this wild shit is going on and Goku’s just been putting on his costume the whole time.  It looks like ass, but it’s a huge improvement over the street clothes he’s been wearing through 80% of this movie.  He goes to confront Piccolo and threatens to defeat him and Oozaru, but Piccolo calmly explains that Goku is Oozaru.  Or rather, he’ll become Oozaru when the eclipse happens.

This is really the closest Piccolo gets to any meaningful characterization.  He doesn’t develop his personality, and we learn nothing about him or his connection to Oozaru or Goku, but at least he gets to talk to another character besides Mai. 

So the eclipse happens and Goku transforms into... a slightly taller, hairier ape-man.  Why the hell did Piccolo need this to happen?  He explains that Goku was sent to Earth in a meteor to hid among humanity until his 18th birthday, when Piccolo would be ready to use him again.  So how long has Piccolo been planning all of this?  Again, we never learn how he got out of the seal from before, so we don’t know how long he’s been loose, or what arrangements he’s been making.  But apparently he had a space baby sent to Earth in preparation for this day. 

Also, what is the connection between Goku and the Oozaru from 2000 years ago?  The movie seems to imply that they’re the same character, but how does that work? They keep saying Goku’s 18, so is he the second Oozaru?  What happened to the first one?

I mean, you have this mysterious figure baked into the lore of this movie, directly connected with Goku, but separated by a vast gulf of time.  It’s almost like...

No. 

No. 

No, we’re not doing this. 

So anyway... Roshi tries the Mafuba and gets his ass kicked, and then Oozaru goes to choke Roshi out, but Roshi somehow gets through to Goku, who then... wills himself back to normal?  Piccolo can’t believe it, and Goku just repeats the line from the start of the movie, when Gohan told him “there are no rules”.  So I guess there’s no point in asking how Goku’s clothes were restored to normal, then.

So they fight, and it looks like crap, and Goku says some nonsense about how he has to be Goku and Oozaru and believe in himself, and I guess that was what had been holding him back.  All this time, he couldn’t properly focus his ki because he didn’t know his true nature, but now he understands what he is so he can do it?  Anyway he shoots a Kamehameha, and it’s dumb as hell.  The poses are all wrong, and then he leaps forward while he shoots it, like he wants to punch Piccolo as he shoots him. 

I mean, how did they manage to fuck up the Kamehameha?  They made it the climax of this movie, and it’s like no one involved in this production had ever seen the movie before.  Either that, or they studied the anime intensively, only to brainstorm ways to “improve” it. 

So Piccolo’s defeated, and Roshi’s dead.  Bulma says she wishes that it didn’t end this way, and Goku’s like “Oh yeah, that Dragon who grants wishes.” 

So they summon Shenron at the temple and holy shit this is bad.  This was the best dragon they could come up with?

So Roshi’s alive again, and Bulma says they have to re-collect the Dragon Balls, but Goku has one more piece of business to take care of.  He goes back to Toisan to meet Chi-Chi and apologize for beating her up before, and she says she let him hit her, so they decide they need to fight to see who’s really better at fighting, as this is the only way their relationship can move forward.  And that’s kind of cute, I guess, but it reminds me too much of the ending of Rocky III.  Also, “The Magic Begins” had a similar ending, but with Yamcha instead of Chi-Chi. 

And then there’s a mid-credits scene where some lady is nursing someone back to health and the guy rolls over and it’s Piccolo.  This was really stupid because they dragged out this reveal like it was some sort of shock.  Meanwhile, everyone knew Piccolo would survive, since he would have been needed in a sequel.  Also, they show him still in one-piece after Goku defeated him, so it’s not like this is a huge twist or anything.  

But, of course, there would be no sequel, so this was the last we saw of DBE Piccolo. 

This movie was a real garbage heap of a film, but there was one positive development that came from it.  Akira Toriyama really didn’t like how this movie turned out, and this probably had a lot to do with him getting involved with the production of Battle of Gods around 2012.  And that movie turned out to be a big success, in part because of Toriyama’s efforts, and this led to the Dragon Ball rennaissance we’re in today.  Dragon Ball Super has been a mixed bag in my opinion, but the movies have been great, and even the worst of Super is still miles ahead of “Dragon Ball: Evolution.”

And... yeah, that’s all I got.  So ends the Gaijin Live-Action Trilogy.  I’ll leave you with the highlight of the series: Puar smoking a cigarette.

[thundergrace]

Netflix’s franchise initiative comes at a critical moment, following two rounds of layoffs amid subscriber losses. It is racing to build a lower-cost, advertising-supported version of the service, which it once vowed never to do. On Tuesday, the company is expected to report losing 2 million more subscribers when it announces quarterly earnings. Its shares have sunk 70% this year.

Some of Netflix's current partners, who requested anonymity to protect their ongoing business relationships, said they have been frustrated by what they see as a lack of collaboration between the film and television groups. This has stymied efforts to capitalize on success through sequels, spin-offs or film adaptations of a hit series, they said.

Netflix has canceled 71 original series in seven years, not including series picked up from other networks. But they want franchises?

[dialogue-queered]

Article

Paul Cureton

Innovative design choices can have a massive impact in the theatre of war, so it is important to understand the principles behind their development. Recent use of low-cost cardboard drones by Ukraine, supplied by Australia, to attack targets in Russia is a good example of how this can work.

Australia has been supplying Ukraine with 100 of the drones per month from March this year as part of an aid package deal worth an estimated £15.7 million, following an agreement struck in July 2021, according to the Australian Army Defence Innovation Hub.

Emerging technologies tend to override current technologies, and in turn, this generates competitive counter-technologies. This circular relationship driven by innovation is often critical in warfare as it can provide key technological advances.

Drone technology was originally developed for military use. It was then seen to offer opportunities in the civilian sphere for logistics, delivery and disaster relief. This then in turn has offered new innovations that can translate to military applications.

Conflicts in the future will be particularly shaped by drones, which will have implications for international relations, security and defence.

The Australian firm Sypaq, an engineering and solutions company founded in 1992, created the Corvo Precision Payload Delivery System (PPDS) for use in military, law enforcement, border security and emergency services, as well as food security, asset inspection and search and rescue.

Ukrainian forces reportedly used the PDDS cardboard drones in an attack on an airfield in Kursk Oblast in western Russia on August 27. The attack damaged a Mig-29 and four Su-30 fighter jets, two Pantsir anti-aircraft missile launchers, gun systems, and an S-300 air surface-to-air missile defence system.

Design principles

The design principles behind the success of the drones revolve around several factors including the production cost, airframe material, weight, payload, range, deployment and ease of use. Other considerations include the reliability of the operating software and the ability to fly the drone in various weather conditions. Seven Network news report on SYPAQ’s cardboad drones.

Generally, small drones offer high-resolution imagery for reconnaissance in a rapidly changing theatre of war. The Corvo drone has a high-resolution camera that provides images covering a large area, transmitting footage back to its user in real time.

The importance of real-time mapping is critical in modern agile armed forces’ command and control as this can direct ground forces, heavy weapons and artillery.

In some cases, the design of small drones is concentrated on adapting the payloads to carry different types of munitions, as seen in the attack in Kursk.

The cardboard drones can carry 5kg of weight, have a wingspan of two metres and a range of 120km at a reported cost of US$3,500 (£2,750). Waxed cardboard is an ideal material as it offers weather resistance, flat-pack transportation (measuring 510mm by 760mm) and, importantly, a lightweight airframe, which enables a longer flight range and a high cruise speed of 60km/h.

Fixed-wing drones also offer longer ranges than rotor-based drones as the wings generate the lift and the airframe has less drag, so they are more energy efficient. They can also fly at higher altitudes. The drones can be launched from a simple catapult or by hand and so can be rapidly deployed.

Low-tech material, hi-tech thinking

Radar involves the transmission of electromagnetic waves, and these are reflected off any object back to a receiving antenna. Cardboard is generally harder to detect by radar – but its components, such as the battery, can be detected.

But the Corvo drone is likely to have a small signature. Radar-absorbing materials are needed to have full stealth properties. These polymers have various absorbing qualities to avoid radar detection.

Another design principle is the swarming capability of the drone. Swarms of drones can overpower air defence systems through sheer volume and or can be used as decoys in counterintelligence operations.

Swarms are highly reliant on the development of artificial intelligence, which is still an embryonic research area. But a recent drone race at ETH University in Zurich, in which AI-piloted drone beat drones controlled by world-champion drone racers, highlighted this potential.

All of these design principles and innovations have and are continuing to transform warfare and theatre operations. It is likely that small drones at low cost are likely to have further mission success in the future.

[natromanxoff]

(x)

Freddie: I do not care how they remember me

• FRIENDS of rock superstar Freddie Mercury gathered this week at his London home after reports that the Queen singer is suffering from AIDS.

• Despite official denials, what is certain is that one of rock's legends is seriously ill. His latest interview was with Showbusiness Editor DAVID WIGG. Here, Freddie talks movingly about his fears, his loneliness... and death.

BEHIND the image of rock's mischievous joker and his extravagant behaviour, Freddie Mercury is a sensitive man who confided to me innermost feelings.

Freddie told me, in the last interview he gave before retreating behind the high walls of his London home: "I don't have any real friends. I don't think I do. I discard them.

"People tell me that they're friends, but there we are. I don't believe them.”

I suggested he was perhaps frightened of people getting close to him.

“Yes and no. I’m not afraid of them, but it is frightening. That’s the difference. Sometimes, I think when they get too close, they seem to destroy me.

"I’m very sceptical and I have deliberately made fewer and fewer friends as my life has gone on.”

After a run of disastrous, tempestuous relationships around the world, surely there had come a time when he just wanted to share his life with someone?

"Yes, but nobody to share their life with me. It's not easy living with me. After all these years, I just think I’m not a very good partner for anybody.

“Because audiences love me it’s hard for them to believe that somebody like Freddie Mercury could be lonely.”

HE CONFIDED: “In fact, my kind of loneliness is the hardest to bear. Loneliness doesn’t just mean being shut away in a room by yourself. You can be in a crowded area and still be the loneliest person, because you don’t really belong to anyone.”

And if he has chosen to be alone, how would he like to be remembered?

“Oh, I don’t know. I don’t really think about when I’m dead or how they are going to remember me. I don’t really think about it. It’s up to them. When I’m dead, who cares? I don’t.

“When you think about someone like me and my lifestyle, I have to go round the world and live in hotels and that can be very lonely. and But that’s my life. I chose it.”

When I asked him what his attitude to life had been, he replied: “Having a good time, to be honest. At one time it was very serious and I was caught up in […]. I thought, this is the way a star behaves and whatever. Now I don’t give a damn.”

But there must have been bad times when he has needed to turn to someone and talk about personal problems. Who is that one person I asked?

“True. I have a lot of mirrors!” came his laughing reply. “I don’t have anyone actually. I don’t have that many people I can turn to.”

The one love of his life and the only person he trusts is Mary Austin, a quiet 36-year-old.

She has remained loyal to him for years, even after the break-up of their seven-year affair in 1977.

She now has a young son by an interior designer and Freddie, having become his godfather, adores the toddler.

“Mary’s been a girlfriend of mine for a long time. Even though we’re not together, I have built […]. She has gone through just about everything. She has the depth and quality actually to adapt to me and talk to me about very serious things. Otherwise, I just fend for myself and I cross my hurdles in my own way.”

SINCE he was struck down by illness this year, Freddie has led a more reclusive lifestyle. Apart from the odd trip to Switzerland and collecting Japanese art and porcelain he buys in London, he has rarely ventured from his £4 million Kensington home.

Mary, who acts as his personal assistant, visits him daily from the London apartment he bought […]