#how their life has been nothing but bloodshed and horror

[kelsh]

“You were a friend when we needed it, and we won’t forget that. Should you ever need it, you have family in Baldur’s Gate.” - Zevlor

[upsidedownwithsteve]

A soulmate AU: Steve Harrington x fem!reader [2.6K]

THE TIMELINE

“Love is born into every human being; it calls back the halves of our original nature together; it tries to make one out of two and heal the wound of human nature. Each of us, then, is a ‘matching half’ of a human whole…and each of us is always seeking the half that matches him.”

- Aristophanes, Plato’s Symposium.

I. ATHENS, GREECE: 8TH CENTURY BC

The gods were angry.

Or so you’d heard. It started with whispers. Murmurs from the town and its people. Rumours spread across Athens the same way the breeze did at the start of summer. They said the gods were angry, furious.

How could the mortals be so silly? How could they possibly rile their gods like this? Again?

Stupid humans, foolish humans.

You didn’t understand.

But then one morning before the sun rose, you awoke to a reddened sky and a heavy wind, a storm brewing over the horizon, a dark mass you could see above the sea from your bedroom window. Preachers took to the streets then, standing on the cobbles with bells ringing above their heads, warning every person listening about the end of times. It had happened before, they said, their faces masks of horror. It was happening again.

The gardens all died, grass turning black, crops to dust, life fleeing from the ocean as Poseidon uprooted the seafloor, waves crashing against the cliff's edge. Athens turned to decay, colour slipping from the world as the gods ruled over it from the skies and sea. A punishment fit for the crime, the elders said, telling stories at the marketplace, of how their own grandparents had once been born together, joined at the heart, four arms and four legs.

One soul.

They said Zeus came from Olympus, that he’d crashed down to earth riding a bolt of lightning and he ripped the mortals apart. They said it was a bloodshed, rivers of red running through the plazas, wells turning thick like tar.

Zeus cursed everyone, you heard. Your kind had been getting too prideful, too full of ego and greed and want for more. The gods feared an uprising, they sat on their thrones and they resented to power you all craved.

So they did something about it.

With their wounds left to heal on their own over months and years, each half of a mortal was thrown to different corners of the earth, destined to spend the rest of their lives searching for the other half of their soul.

It seemed nothing more than a fable, a horror story for children, something you would never have believed. Soulmates? Someone made just for you? An impossible notion, you were sure you would have once thought, if you hadn’t already met yours.

He was at the forge when the first bolt of lightning hit the ground.

The concrete split and temples on the cliff sides shook, the tiles on each home shattering as they fell. You heard people yelling from your garden as the ground shuddered and an eerie quiet followed. A hollow silence, a calm before a storm and then something else hit the ground too.

Bigger, heavier, more powerful.

You dropped your basket and ran.

Still barefoot, you left the sodden clothes on the grass and fled, passing the sanctuary of your home, the temples beyond the rivers, the forests that came before the sea. You ran to the plaza, through the marketplace that was buzzing with fear, shoulders burning with pain as you slammed your way past everyone who ran against you. You were battling a tidal wave of townsfolk, each one crying and yelling.

You heard shouts of Titans! Furies!

People yelled out names they once didn’t dare whisper, each word said like a curse. Cronus, Crius, Oceanus, Thea. Standing on the marble steps of the Parthenon, a preacher in guided robes had blood running down the side of his face, a cut on his head matting his greying hair. He was ashen, clutching at his scribes and shouting at the frenzied crowd below.

“Tartarus has risen!” He yelled, “the gates of Hades have opened and we, foolish mortals, shall pay for our sins! The father of gods shall come for us, he shall feast upon thy flesh and bone and—”

The preacher's harrowing words were cut off abruptly as another crack in the earth opened up. The shining marble split and the man fell through, the world itself swallowing him whole. You didn’t have time to react more than a strangled cry coming from somewhere deep in your chest. You clasped your hand to your mouth, fearing you’d lose your breakfast, that you’d become too dizzy to keep moving.

The ocean was growing closer, too tall waves and swirling, dark pools buried into its depths. Ships were being sucked under, their white sails the last thing you saw before they were swallowed by Poseidon’s fury. A golden chariot raced down from the sky, sparks flying in the air as it landed on the roof of the Acropolis. More marble shattered and Ares, the god of war, had landed on earth to do his duty.

By the time you reached the forge, the plaza was running red, just like the elders had said it would. The bronzed statue of Hephaestus that guarded the entrance to the blacksmiths had come to life, the god himself taking its form as he spewed fire across the village, molten heat and steel dripping from his large hands, coal crumbling at his feet. The air smelled like ash, like fire and death.

As you searched for him - your other half - eyes wide and frantic, your chest heaving, Hades stood in the shadows across the cobbled road. Inky black dripped from him, from his robes, his skin, his mouth. He looked ghoulish until he stepped into what was left of the daylight, a trick of the sun turning his gaunt face handsome. He grinned at you, each tooth pointed and sharp and he held out a hand. A pomegranate was placed in his palm, the fruit cracked open and the ruby seeds spilling out of it like tiny jewels. He beckoned you, a voice in your head whispering, silky, sultry, full of promises that couldn’t be real.

Surely eternal damnation was better than a fate like this?

You moved, your body not your own, one foot in front of the other, your hand outstretched. Images flashed through your head, dark swirls of three headed dogs, rivers made of souls and gates of bones. But when they opened, there was a garden, more beautiful than the ones in Athens, with their marble pillars and fountains that led into ponds. In this garden, temples stood gleaming and tall, with maidens dancing amongst rose bushes, naked and with hair to their waists. They waved to you, more scarlet coloured fruit held in their hands and they were laughing, singing, pulling you closer--

Another bolt of lightning - bigger and louder and brighter than before - hit the ground and the maidens disappeared. The god of the underworld grinned once more before he stepped back into the shadows and turned to smoke, melting into the bloodied ground.

Zeus had landed in Athens.

And you couldn’t find Steve.

Steve Harrington, son of the town’s head blacksmith, was tending to the forge when the first god came to earth. He’d left you in bed, the threadbare sheets around you still warm, your skin littered with his leftover kisses, marks from his greedy fingers the night before. The sky had been scarlet when he walked across the plaza and in the far distance, a plume of smoke rose from what seemed like the ocean. The Methana volcano was simmering, waiting, spewing fumes of gas and dust.

A warning.

The forge cracked when Zeus arrived, the bricks splitting along with the forge floor, cobbles and bricks turning to rubble under the men’s feet. Fire and coal tumbled from the cast iron cages, half made swords of burning steel falling at their feet. The sky above rumbled, the windows shattering as bolts of lightning hit the land and people screamed, torturous sounds that made Steve run blindly out into the plaza.

Some were kneeling, their heads bent and their palms open to the sky, to the gods. A sacrifice that was ignored. Others ran, diving into buildings that immediately fell on top of them and Steve watched in horror as people dropped before him, falling like sacks, crumpled to the ground as they clutched their chests in agony. They called out their lovers' names, their voices hoarse, pleading, desperate and all at once, a crowd surged behind Steve, carrying him with them, his shoulders burning at the momentum.

He had to find you.

The market was in ruins, once fresh vegetables and fruits now smashed into the concrete, the smell of baked bread hidden under burning embers. Panicked horses fled their owners and carts, almost knocking Steve to the ground as they tried to escape the carnage. The sea level was rising, the shadows of boat sails towering over marble buildings, the hulls of ships teetering closer to pillars that once held the statues of the gods now seeking revenge. Steve had been raised to honour them, to covet them, to fear them.

And he’d never felt as scared as he did when he spotted you across the square, eyes wide and not yet finding his, your gaze too trained on the statue of Aphrodite that was crashing down too close to you. The white marble hit the floor and shattered, sending clouds of dust and dirt into the already smoke filled air and you disappeared from Steve’s sight once more.

Panic flooded him, a fear like no other and suddenly the gods that reigned from the seas and skies didn’t seem as terrifying anymore.

He yelled your name, choking on the fumes from the fires that had started to rage all around, Hephaestus riding a cloud of black coals and burning embers as he let fire pour from his palms and open mouth, a gaping maw of molten lava that dripped from and melted everything and everyone it touched. Steve flung himself to the ground to avoid the flames, crawling desperately forward before he caught himself and began to run again, hissing as the gaps in his shoes filled with shards of broken stone. Red poured from the soles of his feet but he didn’t think anything could hurt as much as the thought of losing you.

Again, he screamed for you, the letters of your name hitching in his throat, scratching like glass and more people tore in front of his path, running from the destruction. Bodies fell before him, couples forever trapped in a lovers embrace, their faces hidden in each other's chests. They became one again, four arms, four legs, two faces.

Joined at a heart that was no longer beating.

Steve didn’t want to die without you.

He found you in the rubble as Zeus moved closer, a grey and white shadow of a man, a huge hulking figure that didn’t seem real. He didn’t look like his marble castings, the statues that were gilded with gold leaf. He wore no olive laurel on his head, he bore no kind smile nor gentle eyes. Instead he held bolts of lightning in his hands like swords, like spears, throwing them at his victims with cruel precision.

A storm followed him, bigger than anything Steve had ever seen before. It turned the red clouds above the god purple and black, an inky slurry of darkness and electricity crackled between spaces. The air buzzed and Steve’s skin prickled, the static making his ripped and bloodied shirt cling to his damp chest.

Poseidon had finally shown himself, emerging from the waves, his skin a sickly green, his eyes darker than the deepest depths of the sea he came from. He held a triton, seaweed hanging from its points, his body scarred and battered from the horrors he created in the oceans. He seemed too big, a giant, an almost titan and rain poured from Zeus’ purple clouds as he advanced onto Athens.

Steve saw your arm, a limp hand from beneath a pile of stone and he cried as he lifted each piece of what was once Aphrodite. The marble face of the goddess of love smiled warmly at him and it felt mocking, it felt like an arrow to the chest.

You were still alive, barely awake, nose dripping blood and a slice across your forehead that narrowly missed your eye. You cried when Steve pulled you free, his strong arms wrapped around your torso and you clung to him, barely daring to look at the horrors that surrounded you. He smelled like smoke and fire and the metal sting of blood, but under it all, there was something like home that still lay on his skin.

He seemed frantic, calling your name over and over until you nodded and said his back, like it was only upon hearing your voice that he believed you were alive. Steve sat amongst the debris of Aphrodite and held you, your weak frame pulled into his lap and he cradled you there, your head on his shoulder and your arms around his neck.

You weren’t sure what you coveted more fiercely, the young man or your last breath.

A shadow lingered nearby, listening to the soft murmurs you shared the pretty lies you both needed to hear as you told each other it would be okay. Hades stood close, statuesque and with black plumes at the bottom of his dark robes, a midnight blue cast over his skin. He looked like he’d never been close to looking human. He held a timepiece in one hand, a golden thing that ticked too loudly and he grinned at you and Steve, watching, waiting as two creatures by his feet held scrolls of names. They were made od nothing kind, created from bone and other people’s spines, their too long tails and forked tongues that flickered over the skin of the dead as they sent their souls below.

Steve knew he’d fight a god before he let them take you.

But he didn’t get such the luxury of battling for his lover. Zeus moved closer still, rain pouring harder, electricity making his hair stand on end. The father of gods himself stood tall before you both, his eyes as white as his long hair and beard. Nothing about him softened as he gazed down at you both intertwined, blood from each other staining your lover's skin.

Steve pulled you closer, his hand cupping the nape of your neck as he pushed your face to his throat, shielding you, protecting you. You clung to him tighter, hands fisting in the rags of his old shirt and you wondered if you’d ever get to see him again. If this life was it, if this was all you were allowed.

The two of you in the ruins of Athens, the goddess of love shattered at your feet. Four legs, four arms, two faces, one soul. Connected by a heart that seemed weaker than ever in the presence of something cruel.

Silence came before the crack, the world stilling, Athens at peace. You found solace in Steve, your nose pressed to his neck as you held onto him, praying for something painless. You pushed two kisses to his skin then, the side of his throat that seemed to make your lips fizz and Steve sucked in a breath, his lips at your temple, cherishing the last touch he got of you.

“I love you,” Steve whispered and his voice cracked on each word. Tears from his eyes stream the dirt on his face, running rivers down your cheek until they mixed with your own. “I’ll find you again. In the next life, and the next again. I prom—”

A bolt of lightning, so hot it felt frozen, struck the breath of space between your chests. Something inside of you cracked then, ribs splintering as the weapon found your heart and you couldn’t feel Steve’s arms around you anymore.

You couldn’t feel anything.

[hyperfixiation-station]

Hi!!

I am totally obsessed with your fics!!! Your writing 🤌💕

I just wanted to request a fic where the reader is new to the task force but she's experienced and tough. Vibez similar to Ghost to elaborate she's more scary than Ghost cuz of her past maybe she was experimented on or trained brutally....

Reader is working hard to prove herself even if everyone knows she's the most lethal person. So one time she gets injured badly while protecting someone from the 141( probably Ghost 👉👈) and she wakes up has an emotional moment Ghost comes know about her Trauma . More like hurt/comfort....

Happy Writing 💝

Guilt-Tripped

CW: Mentions/references of kidnapping, torture, canon typical violenece Part 2, Part 3 Hiii Anon!! First off, thank you! Secondly, I am so, so, so sorry for how long this took😭 I did make this a two parter, the first part is kinda like backstoryish and the second part will be the actual story. I was gonna wait until I finished both to post but you have been waiting for way to long so I'll give you the first part now instead of waiting, again I am so sorry! I hope you like it :)) Summary: F!Reader was a part of a special program(LMK if you can guess what it is) and once she was released she joined the military.

WC: 1467 As always, I didn't proof read so lmk if there are any mistakes :3

Life had not been kind to you. Ripped from your family at a very young age, you had never known the type of love and safety a nurturing home could provide. Instead, you grew up in the confines of a Russian base, with cruel instructors and a dwindling group of girls as your only companions.

From the moment you could walk, you had been told you were a weapon. A lethal force to be honed and trained, nothing more than a tool for others to use to further their games. Brainwashed, tortured, and trained into submission, a perfect puppet. Both your brain and body were sculpted into absolute perfection, a rigorous process most people did not survive. By day, they trained to be a lethal force, an unstoppable, unnoticeable, killing machine. At night, you were handcuffed to your bed, listening to the screams of students who did not make the cut.(to this day you sleep handcuffed)

You watched, at first in horror, then with a sense of detachment, as your friendsrivals bit the dust, unable to keep up with what the program demanded of them. It got better as you got older, less girls died from their tasks. But in some ways it got worse. It was a competition now, a fight to see who would remain victorious, to see who would come out on top. It was not a place for friendship and comradery, and you learned that quickly.

You stopped trying to make friends with the other students when you were forced to shoot your best friend in the head after giving her some of your dinner when she was being punished. You were 8. And you stopped trying to even just be friendly with the other girls at 10 years old, when the instructor broke every bone in your hands after your bunkmate framed you for something you didn't do. To this day your hands are not the same, always hurting and forever scarred.

Your world was kill or be killed, and you'd be dammed if you didn't come out on top.

And come out on top you did. You graduated top of your class, a position you had fought and killed for, won through bloodshed and pain. If you had a conscience, it would have been screaming at you for the things you had done to get to the top(You laid awake every night consumed by guilt and grief)

The program was disbanded(re: destroyed) when you hit 18, just two weeks after your 'graduation'. You were given two options: Join the American military, or face a life sentence in prison. 

You had a lifetime of sins to atone for, and knew there was only one way to even begin to ease your guilt. Two days later your background was sealed up and you were shipped off to boot camp. 

And you excelled. This was nothing to you. What was a six mile run when you used to run until you passed out, then wake up and keep going? What was surviving on four hours of sleep when sleep deprivation had been the norm your whole life? What was any of this compared to what you had been forced to do everyday since you were five? 

You scared your instructors. And the other recruits. And everyone else you came into contact with. And you were fine with that. You didn't like when people got close to you anyhow.

Love got you nowhere in the world. It was a lesson you learned hard and fast. You did not care for others, they did not care for you. And you liked it that way. Until you met the 141.

A woman named General Laswell came to you one day with a job offer. Well, not a job offer exactly, but more of a…transfer of positions. A small, (mostly)four-man team that she oversaw.

You had gotten disciplined for beating the ever-loving shit out of a recruit the week before, and Laswell had watched it all unfold. She went back to her office, read your full file, and decided you would make a good fit for John's team.

You took a look at your bunk, at the trunk that held zero worldly possessions, realized there is nothing for you here, and said yes. 

Price had not wanted a new recruit, and told Laswell as much. She simply said he had a penchant for picking up strays and left your file on his desk. It took him a week to actually get curious enough to read it. A paper copy, the only one in existence that had your full, undisclosed background. He pretended he didn’t see her smug grin when he hit accept on your transfer application. 

You had been trained since youth to fight and to kill, yes, but your true purpose was espionage. You were trained to study those around you, to lie, to mold yourself to the expectations of those around you. You excelled at fitting into your surroundings, at assimilating perfectly with your peers. It was all you were good for, in your opinion. So you asked Laswell for files on your new teammates. And she gave them to you. They were full of gaping holes and redacted information, but there was enough there for you to profile them. 

Soap would be the most receptive to you. He most likely would also be the one to not give up in trying to get you to be open with them. Gaz would be receptive as well, but you know that your sealed background would put him on edge, Ghost, well…Ghost was a lot like you from what you could piece together. Yet another person who learned that the world was cruel and unforgiving, who had learned the lesson that love does nothing but hurt. And because he was like you, you knew he would trust you the least.

You felt a small pang in your chest when looking at this masked photo that you hadn’t felt in years. Not quite sadness, but…pity? No. It was different, it was sympathy. It weirded you out. 

It was hard at first, joining the 141. You had court-mandated therapy you had had to attend, and you had slowly come to realize that some trust was good, necessary even, for life. You knew you wouldn’t be able to open yourself up to them, that you would never be able to feel the sense of brotherhood you had seen amongst other soldiers, but you wanted to try. 

It was harder than you thought it would be. Hard joining men who already had comradery, who had a bond that had been forged with blood, sweat, and tears. men who weren't sure how to fit another person, much less a female, into their group. 

As you suspected, Soap was the most receptive. He was fun, you thought. His Scottish accent and affinity for filling the silence made him a very pleasant conversationalist. You didn’t have to do any of the talking.

Gaz was wary of you, but did a good job of not showing it. As you suspected, he stopped inviting you out after you said ‘no thanks’ for the third time. 

Ghost didn’t like you. You could see it in the slight tensing of his muscles when you walked in the room, the way his eyes pinched when you spoke. 

It was a rough, rocky start, full of distrust and misunderstandings. Everything about you set his senses on high alert. They way you could sneak up on him completely silent, the way you could hold your own when you sparred with him, even the way you moved had his hair standing on end. It wasn’t until a mission that would have ended with Soap's death if you hadn’t risked your life to shove him out of the way that Ghost began to trust you. 

And then he began to notice something else about you. And the more he noticed, the more concerned he grew. He noticed the way you threw yourself into battle, what little regard you held for your own life. He noticed how you never instigated conversation, never gave away the slightest bit of information that could be used against you. Noticed that you always wore gloves. In fact, he's never once seen your hands.

His constant observations of you had an unintended side effect. The longer he watched you, the more he realized you were a lot like him, the more he was drawn to you. And vice-versa. 

You found yourself willfully seeking Ghost out, willingly sharing information with him. Nothing about your past, no, you would never tell anyone the things you had done. But little things, how you liked the food served this week, how your mission went, that your new pants were really itchy. And he told you things too. Told you really bad jokes, told you Soaps stupid Scottish saying of the week. And slowly you branched out, agreeing to go to the bar the next time Soap asked you, telling Gaz that you liked his new sunglasses. 

It was nice, having people who looked at you like you meant something to them. Having people who didn’t know what you’d done, people who didn’t look at you with disgust and distrust. It was nice to have…friends. 

So of course everything had to go downhill from there.

End scene :3 let me know what you think!!6 and be on the look out for pt.2, I hope you're ready for a buttload of angst >:) Also requests are open <3

[revehae]

naiveté

pairing ↠ mermaid!chaewon × (f) reader

genre .. warnings ↠ dubcon, mermaid!chaewon x human!reader, oral, posessivelreader, dom!reader, sub!chaewon, yandere themes

summary ↠ when a mermaid far too curious about humanity for her own good washes up at your front door, metaphorically speaking, you realize that you can use her naivety to your advantage.

wc ↠ 4.0k

a/n ↠ part 4/5 of the legend has it series!

don't like it, don't read.

you couldn’t believe your eyes. 

there was a stunning girl in front of you with a beauty unmatched by any other woman in the country. she was completely naked, hardly spoke, and her wrists were sore for the restraints tight around her only moments ago. 

until you stepped in and fought every sailor on the ship she’d been brought onto, defending her from the grabby hands of every man aboard. chaewon could only watch in horror, wondering if she was next. when you came up to her after the bloodshed, she tried to writhe out of the taut knots behind her back, not understanding that you had only come to defend her.

the more you marveled her, the more you wondered how a naked girl seemed to be birthed directly out of the sea, you came to only one logical conclusion. she was not human. rather, she was not supposed to be.

it didn’t account for the supple pair of legs that she had, but it did account for her inability to use them. it was not safe for a woman around the territory where drunk men sailed for months without contact from the opposite sex. that was why you took chaewon, which she later told you was her name, all the way back to your cabin.

though on the way there and when she arrived, chaewon acted very unfamiliar with her surroundings, as if she had never seen ordinary things like trees and hairdryers before. she couldn’t walk, falling to her knees with every effort. and though you had never believed in the supernatural, unless this girl lived under a rock her whole life, then she had to have come from underwater.

“you’re not from here,” you’d confronted within a couple hours of having her inside your room. 

chaewon’s eyes flickered with terror. she had heard horror stories of what happened to mermaids when they got too close to humans.  how merciless humankind could be.  she was to stay clear of it, though she had gotten close to the surface. among other things. “that’s not true.”

you scoffed, “baby, please. it’s not hard to tell. you’re like a fish out of water.”

chaewon swallowed to damp her throat. she guessed it was an apt comparison, all things considered. never had she not been very interested in the upper world. it was so foreign and she ached to explore it and all of its dangers.

when she said nothing, you knew you were right on the money, and continued, “i don’t know how you’re here nor do i care to. but your lack of familiarity with the human world is concerning and if you want, i can teach you how to act like one of us. the second people know you’re not like the rest of us, there’s no telling what’ll happen to you.”

chaewon whispered, “you’re gonna teach me… how to be human?”

“i’m going to try,” you clarified. “at the very least, it’s important that you know how to run and care for yourself.”

that was what you said, but little did chaewon know, you had much darker intentions in mind. the second you saw her exposed body, tangled in knots, you knew that you had to have her. and you knew that nobody else could. 

still, you did teach her the basics of being a human. how to cook simple things and the like. you allowed her to step outdoors, though only under your supervision. given her curious nature, you wouldn’t be surprised if she attempted to run away, just to explore the unfamiliarities of the world around her.

everything little thing astonished her. you had never seen anyone with such glimmering stars in their eyes. nature was chaewon’s favorite. she loved holding little snails in her hands and gawking at the wildflowers near your cabin, but never dared to pick them. she likened them to vibrant coral reefs. it was astounding how life on earth could be so similar yet so different to life underwater.

things stayed that way for a while, but your urges quickly took precedence. given how frequently you were around chaewon, it was difficult to suppress them. because you only had one bedroom, you offered to let her share your bed.

the most difficult thing you had ever done was keep yourself composed while you slept not even a total of inches away from each other. when you went to bed, you were at least a couple of inches apart, though when you roused, she was cuddling you. you couldn’t stand being so close to her and not doing a damn thing about it.

that was where the lies began.

after plenty careful shopping, you presented chaewon with a number of brassieres for her to sport around the house. only, she was under the impression that they were innocent tops, much like the ones she wore back home in the ocean.

maybe they weren’t exactly the same. the tops were a bit more revealing than the ones that she used to wear, but chaewon accepted that she was not home and was more than happy to embrace human tradition.

and then it was time for you to strike. 

“chaewon,” you called out, popping your head into your bedroom. chaewon was sitting on your bed with an earbud in, listening to music you’d shown her. “i bought you some more clothes.”

chaewon’s eyes twinkled. “really?” so, so naive, you couldn’t help but think. 

she didn’t question the alarming amount of so-called new clothes that you bought her, only constantly expressing her gratitude. she could never wait to try them on, much to your amusement. and maybe your delight. there was a reason why you bought so many.

you didn’t say anything, just smiling while you outstretched your hand, the bag dangling from your fingers. chaewon instantly lost interest in the music she’d been listening to, which she’d said before reminded her of sea nymphs, and leapt up to accept the bag with the politest thanks you’d ever heard.

chaewon didn’t think twice about whether or not it was normal to change in front of you, removing the underwear set she was currently wearing to don the new one you bought her. just the sight of her naked, even if only for a couple of moments, made an ache develop between your thighs.

this set was an innocent white color with flimsy, see-through fabric. chaewon stepped in front of your mirror, eyes brimming with wonder. “it’s so cute - i love it! thank you!”

“anything for you,” you said quietly, your eyes fallen to the hind view that you had of her ass.

noticing something, chaewon’s face quickly soured. “but there’s a cut,” she said, referring to a slit in her underwear. “i think it’s ruined.”

playing dumb, you asked, “can i see?”

chaewon nodded, crawling onto your bed and spreading her legs so that you could see the cut in her underwear that had her so saddened. you crept over, separating her thighs a little more to examine the slit that gave you perfect access to her holes without the need to slip them to the side.

your mouth was watering at the sight of her pretty pink pussy. if you were being frank, you thought you deserved a round of applause for being able to wait it out this long. your patience was never good when it came to things like this.

as if your fingers had a mind of their own, one of them moved to brush against her cunt, and you swore you heard the slightest tremble in chaewon’s breath. you knew, as it were, that she was indebted to you. chaewon had only you to thank for the sense of security she felt, no matter how false, and you wholeheartedly intended to keep it that way. though you also knew that, if kept naive enough, chaewon would happily do as you asked.

chaewon shifted uncomfortably. “is it ruined?”

“no, it’s not. it was designed like that,” you said matter-of-factly, rising from the position. sometimes the best lie was the truth.

chaewon was evidently confused. you adored that she processed outwardly, all her features cutely tensed. “why?”

“because it’s a special outfit,” you replied. “it makes it easier for fun activities humans like to do.”

naturally, chaewon had ample interest in the human world and their ways of life, and she desperately wanted to be a part of them. “can we do it?” she asked.

you chuckled, resisting. though only because you knew she wouldn’t back down. “you don’t even know what it is.”

“well, yeah, but…,” chaewon trailed, sitting up now. “i’m really curious.”

you sat down beside her, planting a palm on her exposed thigh and leisurely beginning to move it in a pattern. “have you ever heard that curiosity killed the cat?”

“no, it’s always been curiosity killed the otter.”

you snickered. “and did satisfaction bring it back?”

“something like that, yeah,” chaewon chirped.

if chaewon noticed how much closer your hand got to her hardly clothed pussy, she said nothing. “i could show you so much satisfaction, chaewon,” you purred, leaning into her ear, in spite of the fact that it was only you and her there to bare witness to whatever unfolded there in your room. “but only if you want to.”

“i want to,” chaewon replied without a second thought.

you pulled back, eyes flitting up her face. “you sure?”

chaewon bobbed her head excitedly. she had no idea what you had in store for her and yet she was so enthusiastic. 

“lie back down.”

chaewon did as told, eager.

you were back between her slender legs again, separating them, and thumbed the little slit in her underwear. “you wanna know what this is for?”

“badly,” was chaewon’s response. 

you doubted there were even words to describe just how mad she drove you. without a second thought, you dove your head between her plush set of thighs, your self-restraint snapping. you clamped your fingers onto her thighs for now, only lapping at her as if you had something to prove.

little noises were already escaping her parted lips and they were the sweetest sounds that you’d ever heard. they were accompanied by little breaths, tiny moments of her quickening heartbeat before it was as if her pulse died, then came back to life.

and it stayed like that, until it didn’t. until her breaths started to come quicker and quicker, and her soft moans increased not only in frequency, but in pitch. it wasn’t difficult to be enamored with her. the second you discovered that such saccharine noises could be ripped from the very back of her throat, you knew that you would do everything in your power to keep her isolated from the rest of your world. she was not for sale and she was yours.

“woah,” chaewon exhaled, chest heaving like a raging ocean. “that feels really good.”

you hummed, though you didn’t part to speak, because you didn’t plan on moving until you were certain that she had orgasmed. desperately did you need her to cum on your tongue. and your fingers. you inserted a pair inside her cunt, her gushy walls accepting.

the stimulation from both your warm mouth and adroit fingers made chaewon’s entire body start to shudder, an involuntary reaction that she couldn’t begin to control. this was pleasure and she had never before felt anything like it. especially not when you were tonguing her clit like it was nothing, sending floods of warmth and sensitivity to wreck through her core.

chaewon could barely speak as it was, every thought evaporating from her brain, though that only proved how ravaging this feeling was. it was destruction in its natural form, in its truest nature, and it was raw.

“oh my gosh,” chaewon whimpered, the cutest little look on her face. 

there was a large part of you that just wanted to make her feel like this forever and ever, and you needed to know how much she could take. as much as she was yours (even if she didn’t know it yet), she was delicate, and though you wanted to protect her, you couldn’t shake the part of you that longed to break her.

only you could be trusted with the most intimate workings of her physical form. those sailors might’ve been motivated by the same interests as you, the same pent-up desires, but none of them would care for chaewon the way you had.

maybe it was naive of you, for a change, to think that you could keep a spirit as longing as chaewon’s kept away and suppressed, but if push came to shove, there were many things that you were more than willing to do if it meant it would keep her closer to you for another day. she would just have to understand that this world wasn’t made for her. and there was no way you could be certain she’d be safe out there.

i’m going to make her depend on me, you thought, resolved. i’m going to make her need me. she’ll forget about the rest of the world. she’ll forget about home.

that you were certain of.

“fuck,” chaewon whimpered, followed by an itching cry of your name. it did something to you, make something fracture from within.

there was something about the sound of your name on her tongue that made you lose was what left of your goddamn mind. noting that she was (obviously) close, you were more vicious in your endeavors, drinking all of her arousal like you were parched.

in a way, it wasn’t far from the truth. it had been a long time since you’d found someone to satisfy your cravings and yet you’d forgotten everybody that came before chaewon. with your mouth on her pussy, and your name on her lips, she was all that you could will yourself to think about.

chaewon only thought about you too, because you were the first to show her ecstasy of this caliber and it felt ungodly. she could make little sense of what was happening to her body - the involuntary movements and the want flaring through her core in large numbers. and second after second, it somehow only intensified.

there was a sensation sitting heavy on the pit of her stomach that she couldn’t describe. it wasn’t crushing, though chaewon knew that it could consume her not if she let it, but if it so pleased. she wasn’t chanting your name, but it was like her whines went through one of your ears and the other. you were completely gone, drunk off a hint of her.

calling out your name again, louder, chaewon followed, “i think something’s...”

the last of her sentence was cut off by a final, sharp cry of ache, heavy on her gut and weighing on her chest. your thumb was on her clit, continuing to stimulate her as she got off, wiggling her hips forward into your mouth and writhing uncontrollably.

you took great delight in watching her fall apart at the seams, because there was something about it happening at your hand. chaewon was at your mercy and you preferred it like that, because that way, she had nobody else to run to. it was your name she cried while she battled pleasure for authority over her body and ultimately surrendered every bit of it.

you didn’t stop until chaewon’s body slumped and gave in to exhaustion. rising from your knees, you came to sit beside her weak figure, observing from a different angle. “so, was it fun?”

“yeah,” chaewon exhaled shakily. “can i do that to you?”

something about the thought of chaewon’s pretty little face between your legs made you giggle, though you weren’t opposed. “another time,” you replied. “i have something else you can do.”

as if she weren’t utterly spent, chaewon’s eyes sparkled with eagerness. “like what?”

minutes later, you had a strap-on secured around your hips, and it was your turn to lie back on the mattress. chaewon had jumped to undress you the second that the words escaped your mouth, obedient and eager to please as she was, and you wallowed in every second. now, she was more than excited to ride your strap.

though she looked amazing in it, you removed the bra from her chest no sooner had she stripped you bare. you wanted to squeeze her pretty breasts in your palms while she rode the soul out of you.

chaewon glanced to you, looking at you with so much wonder, and asked, “how far do i go?”

“whatever’s comfortable, baby,” you said nonchalantly, in spite of the fact that you were counting down the seconds until she’d be bouncing.

in the next minute, chaewon was lowering herself onto you through the little slit in her underwear, careful and steady. because of the sheer size, you were surprised to see her sink completely down, though also dumbfoundedly proud.

your eyes darted to her face. every emotion was etched across. “too much?”

not anymore than she asked for. “no,” chaewon replied, shaking her head. “i can take it. i promise.”

it didn’t take a genius to understand that chaewon was resolved to impress you, no matter how taxing it was or how much it took out of her, and you were honored to realize that she had such a high opinion of you. obviously, she didn’t know the extent of how dangerous you could be, in spite of the fact she witnessed the bloodshed you’d caused in her defense, though you hoped that she wouldn’t need to.

chaewon started slow and you didn’t blame her, just trying to get accustomed to the unmistakable girth, and those pretty little sighs began to simmer into your ears again. you would never be able to get enough of them. matter of fact, you were certain they would start to replay in your head at one point.

chaewon rasped, “it’s really big.”

“do you need to go back up?”

“no!” chaewon vehemently insisted. “i can do this.”

“i’m sure you can, angel,” you purred, tightening your hold at her perfect hips.

though you’d been tempted, you didn’t try to guide her along, sensing that she would definitely refuse all help and insist that she was perfectly capable of riding you on her own. so your hands just stayed still and flat, allowing her to do as she pleased.

all the while, you were enjoying the view from below, watching her take you like a queen upon her throne. her breasts dangled tantalizingly in front of your face, almost as if they were begging to be sucked. you were of a mind to test yourself, gauging how much you could handle before your greed consumed you in your entirety.

to say the least, you knew that it couldn’t have been a lot.

it was bewitching how she managed to swallow your strap whole. though you were aware that she could barely take it as it was, you fully intended to buy larger toys to use on her. with some size training, you knew she would be taking it all like a champ in no time. she had the resolve and tenacity.

and more importantly, she had you. for whatever reason, whenever you were in the picture, her happiness skyrocketed. maybe it was because you essentially saved her life or took her in and taught her the ways of human life, but whatever it was, chaewon had her affections alloted to you.

“you’re so pretty,” you whispered with a two-minute delay. you were too absorbed in your thoughts to relay them just as quickly as they appeared in your brain.

chaewon started to beam, smile stretching from one ear to the other. hearing your praise made her whole face flush, little whines slipping from her pink lips. and though you couldn’t feel it, much to your chagrin, she couldn’t help but grip around you.

lifting one hand from her hip, you started to fondle her supple breasts, kneading them with your hands. chaewon’s eyes fluttered close as her pace quickened and she settled on a fitting rhythm, riding effortlessly now that she’d adjusted to your size. one of these days, you wanted to rail her into oblivion, but it would wait. you were more than content to watch her bounce on top of you.

chaewon, to say the least, was enthralled. not only in the wonders that were your lifestyle as a human being, but the forbidden pleasures she’d been deprived of as a mermaid. there was something about how this big whatchamacallit felt, brushing against her walls and strumming her to climax all over again.

you satiated her curiosity. some of it, at least. but what mattered in the moment was that she was satisfied, just as you swore she would be, and in ways she couldn’t fathom. from the throbbing in her core to the wriggle in her toes and the heat spasming in her palms, all of it was unthinkable.

fuck. oh my goodness. fuck, was all that floated around chaewon’s head, because if she wasn’t saying it (her mouth was far too occupied with those sweet-sounding cries to speak), she was definitely thinking it.

chaewon was far too dazed to even notice, but you, for one, were addicted to the wet sound that came with every meet of her hips with your strap. you were showing her what it meant to be aroused. and someday, if she somehow did escape you, even though you couldn’t imagine letting yourself permit that to happen, you would make sure she knew that nobody could ever bring her euphoria quite like you.

there was sweat gathering at chaewon’s face, an indication of how long and how hard the two of you had been at this, but all you really gave a damn about was how it made her skin glisten. how beautiful it looked when coupled with the sunlight filtering through your open window. you weren’t concerned with being spied on, because with how deep in the middle of nowhere you lived, you rarely had visitors and certainly no neighbors.

“it’s happening again,” chaewon noticed, referring to the sensation in her gut. 

“that’s normal,” you said, assuring.

chaewon’s movements only got more vigorous, as if she couldn’t wait to get herself there, and you knew that it wasn’t far from the truth. “i’m so…,” she trailed, breaths coming quicker. 

“you’re close,” you finished for her, grinning. “cum for me, baby. show me you can do it again.”

you knew that she could. god, she came so hard when you were going down on her. you yourself could’ve came untouched just from watching her get off.

“so close,” chaewon squeaked, rocking herself against you harder. and much, much faster. she was so impatient. “please.”

you were coaxing her there, whispering, “milk my strap, baby. come on. do it for me.”

for whatever reason, everything felt so much more intense in that moment compared to every second preceding. the room seemed a thousand degrees hotter, which the sweat down chaewon’s back was a testament to, but half the heat was coming from inside.

then the girl on top of you arched into you and it was game over, her stilling as the chase came to an abrupt halt. release was instantaneous. chaewon could feel it everywhere and it was mind-numbing and explosive. she wrung her toes, anchoring herself on your bare shoulders as raw pleasure shot through her chest and spine.

and you watched every second. you were obsessed. all you could think, eyes fixed to her orgasming form, was, she’s so goddamn gorgeous.

when the unsparing afterhighs faded, chaewon slumped against you, weakened by her continuous actions and the energy put into the hunt for climax. though you desperately wanted to push her, you would save it for another day. she was panting hard and heavy against your chest, so worn.

chaewon’s misty eyes flitted to yours, whispering, “did i do good?”

“you did perfect, angel,” you crooned, kissing her forehead. chaewon giggled, dismounting you and snuggling closer to you. “absolutely perfect.”

it was comfortable silent (other than the combined sound of your open-mouthed breathing) for maybe five minutes. you wallowed in the weight of chaewon’s body on your chest and her breath on your neck, a reminder that she was there.

what you didn’t speak was for her to ask, “can we go again?”

your eyes flickered in shock. god, this girl just doesn’t know when to quit, you thought amusedly.

[deceitfuldevout]

Mercy (Part 1)

Dark!Tommy Shelby x Enemy!Reader

Word Count: +4,034

Warning(s): +18, Non con, Kidnapping, Hostage situation, Manhandling, Mind break, Threats of violence, Forced oral (m receiving), Forced stripping, Gore, Physical violence, Loss of virginity, Forced intrusion, Public humiliation.

Author's note(s): Bringing this back this series 💞

Tommy Shelby has always believed in an eye for an eye. He doesn't care how long it takes. He'll hunt down every single person who's ever wronged him. He finds out that your parents were the ones who informed the woman that cursed his Ruby. Well, he decides to save the best for last.

Since you were a little girl, your parents always warned you to stay away from gangsters. Your entire life being shielded away from any possible dangers. Being part of a clan but residing in the city. Your father had built an incredible wealth for himself. He made sure to shield you from any possible dangers the world had. But nothing would prepare you for this.

You were taken on a Sunday evening, just after church. The men who took you were ordered by their gang leader, Thomas Michael Shelby. Peaky Blinders, they were called. A group of criminals who were only up to no good. You were the first to leave mass, not wanting to partake in conversation with anyone. You decided to sit on the steps of the church, until your mother finishes conversating with the other women. You sigh, already yearning to return home. Knowing your mother, this would take a while.

You look up at the winter sky, hoping it would snow in time for Christmas. A car drives by, and two men step out. You move to the side to let them pass. They approach you, both of them standing on each of your sides. It was at that moment when you knew, they were sent by someone. Because over here, gangsters would only come for someone if they were given the orders to. A scream escapes your lips as you fought them off.

His partner muffles your cries with a rag. You scream at the top of your lungs and cry out, "Somebody help me! Help!" sobbing for them not to take you. What business did they have with you? Nothing good. Your mother is the first to notice your absence. As soon as she hears screaming from outside, she rushes out the church. To her horror she sees you being hauled into a stranger's car. She chases the vehicle now driving off, falling to the ground with a wail. Onlookers of the church try their best to console her.

The peaky men drag you to an abandoned building, the one reserved only for their worst enemies. Where numerous men have met their maker. You're tied to a metal chair, with both wrists and ankles secured. A satchel had been placed on your head. You have no idea where they'd taken you. Tommy doesn’t know if he can contain his anger any longer. It had taken them a while to find your location. A long trail of bloodshed led them directly to the church's doorsteps.

Tommy's men inform him of your parents involvement, how they had spoken of the cursed necklace to Madame. His Ruby was gone now because of it. When he heard of you he became excited. You were their only child. Their prized possession. Tommy's wedding ring feels heavy, and for once, he takes it off before getting started.

The covering is swiftly removed, a man now stands right in front of you. He takes a good look at your petrified expression. Almost as if he were admiring it. A grabs a chair to sit right in across from yours. It's cold inside the building. You could see your breath from the freezing air. He leans in, "Do you know who I am?" he questions. You shook your head. He doesn't like that, "Use your words,"

"N-no..." shrinking into the seat. Tommy doesn't buy it, "You're a liar, y'know? And a lousy one at that," because everyone knows who Tommy Shelby is.

"M-not--" you whine as he squeezes your jaw with a gloved hand. It hurts. He growls in your face, "You will speak when spoken to," he squeezes harder, "Do you understand?" he waits for what you had to say. You look up at him with a tearful look, "P-please this has to be a mistake! I've done nothing wrong!" because of that, he begins to choke you. He voice is deep, sharp, "My daughter had done nothing wrong, yet she was taken from me," he tilts his head, "Did she not deserve to live?"

You don't know what to say. How could you to a man hellbent on revenge? The real question is, what did you do to provoke him? He lets go, leaving the skin raw with visible bruising. Tommy retreats to a desk where assorted torture devices await. He careful inspects each one, examining which tool would be used. He retrieves a scalpel, one used to slice skin and gouge the flesh, "Which part of you do I cut away first, hm?"

You shook your head, now sobbing uncontrollably, "Nononono! P-please!" looking down to your lap to cry. Tommy isn't satisfied, "Look at me," he orders, "Look at me," he doesn't like repeating himself. You hesitantly rise your gaze, now looking up at the man. There's a bewildered look in his eyes. You notice the corners of his lips were up in a faint grin. He whispers, "This is the end...this is the end of your life, yeah?" he drags the blade the side of your jaw. He enjoys watching you squirm.

Tommy looks up at the men standing behind you. He orders them to leave. Now it was just the two of you. What did he have in store? He made sure you get a good look at the blade. It shines in the dim lighting, “You’re pretty, I’ll give you that much,” he brings the knife to your face, “but for how long?” he brings it down to your neck, teasing the collar. He whispers, "From now on, you are my property," he grips your jaw to open, sliding a finger inside, "It was a tongue that gave the order," his other hand digs into the sides of your jaw, forcing your mouth to open.

Tommy brings the knife to it, "Should I cut it out first?" he digs his fingers deep inside, reaching for the muscle. You try stopping him from doing so, even attempting to clamp your jaw shut, to which he began pushing them deeper in. He mimics the way you gagged around them in a mocking manner. You sputter into a sob, begging for him not to.

Tommy then stops, "No...I can't do that...then you won't explain it to me, and I want you to explain," He grips the back of your head to face him. His features are contorted with anger, "I want you to fucking explain!" he spat. Your bottom lip trembles as you say something. Tommy removes his hand to hear what you had to say, "Please...have mercy..."

“Mercy?” He scoffs, "Is that what you want?" it was almost humorous to him, the entitlement you and your family had, “Where was mercy when they took my little girl?” he brings the knife to your neck, it lightly nicks the skin. You don't say a word, too afraid of deepening the cut. He gave you a look of disgust. As if you’d done something terrible to anger him. Like you wronged him before this.

But what? Everyone in town knew there would be nothing to worry about when a blinder would arrive. No one would ever be worried of being targeted, unless they'd actually done something. So what did you, of all people, possibly do to anger a man like Tommy Shelby? You hadn't a clue.

His leans in, his forehead now pressing against yours, "I'm not going to kill you, no..." his mood swings changes, like fire and ice, "I am going to keep you alive for a very, very long time..." He flicks the button of your blouse open with the knife, "I'll have you praying for death," a promise he'll make sure comes true.

You began to plead with him, "No please! Don't do this!" tears began to form, spilling down both cheeks. You knew what happens to people who've crossed the Peaky Blinders. What they did to their victims. Sometimes not even a body was left. The thought of you being cut into a million pieces downright terrifies you, "Help! Someone! Please! Help me!"

Tommy isn't phased, he's dealt with people in denial before, “You can scream all you want, nobody will hear you,” he promises. He finishes flicking off the last button, revealing the swell of your breasts, you panic, "Mr. Shelby please! You're making a big mistake--" Both of his hands shoot for your neck. He held them in place, squeezing as hard as he can. His face nears your petrified one. There's a hint of gravel in his voice, "A lying whore is what you are," he squeezes harder, taking joy in watching you suffer.

Never in a million years would he imagine stooping this low. But this wasn't just any case, it was personal. He loosens his grip allowing you to breathe for a moment. He sighs, clearly annoyed with your behavior. Whatever games you wanted to play, he doesn't have time for, "What did I say about lying?!" Tommy yells at the top of his lungs.

"M'not lying! I swear! Ow!" you whine from his grip on your hair. He leans in and calmly states, "Fine, have it your way," Tommy didn't plan on going easy on you. But after hearing you lie right to his face? Well, he wants to make this hurt, bad. Tommy drags the sharpened tool along the fabric of your skirt. He tears your brand-new church clothes to shreds. Until you were left only in undergarments. Goosebumps began to form on your skin.

Tommy feasts his eyes on the sight of your unblemished flesh. He rakes them up and down, mentally capturing the moment. You looked soft, supple in all the right places. His tongue pokes out to lick his lips. His lids hooded from thinking about the things he would do.

Oh...this was going to be fun.

Tommy Shelby is dead set on one thing and one thing only: Revenge. There is no room for sympathy in his heart. Not after losing his wife, then his daughter. There is no other pain comparable to that. At this point, there's nothing in this world that could change his mind. What happened to Ruby changed something inside him. He would never be the same again.

"There are a few rules," he wants you to know, "Do not fight me, yeah? Or I'll break every last one of your fucking bones," he knows he's strong enough to, "Do not speak unless you're spoken to," the last thing he wants to hear is an excuse, "You are my property, what I say is law," both of his hands cradle the sides of your head. He makes sure you know, he's dead serious, "Am I understood?"

Your teeth can't stop clattering as you shiver a faint, "Y-yes,"

"What will I do with you? Hm? Should I start cuttin you up piece by piece? No...no one would waste their hard-earned money on you," he starts to mumble, "Maybe hire you as one of my whores? You'd like that, wouldn't you?" he taunts. Tommy can't help but smile at the way you frantically shook your head.

He bit his lip, as if he were in deep thought, "No, you wouldn't make it, I know your type," he knows your kind very well, bunch of prim and proper pansies, "I should break you in first, mold you, so that you won't think of anything else other than cock," Tommy always had a way to make people squirm with only a few words.

He finds their weaknesses and uses it against them. He thrusts a few fingers deep inside your mouth, enjoying the sounds of your gargled cries. He pumps the gloved digits in and out. Drool spills from the corners of your mouth. Then an idea hits him, "How about I make you my personal whore?" he taunts, "How does the title of 'cock-sleeve' sound?" poking your forehead, "Tat it right...there," twisting a finger into the skin.

All you could do was cry. A deep wail pours from your lungs. Why? Why was he doing this? You haven't done anything wrong! "P-please, if you just listen to me--" a scream escapes your lips as he pulls at your hair. There's a burning sensation on the crown of your scalp. He's done playing games, "What did I say about speaking?" his voice booms.

Tommy's hand hovers over the tray of tools. He retrieves a gag, forcing the straps around your head. He pinches your nose shut, forcing you to part your lips. He secures the metal hooks inside your mouth, forcing it to open wide. A trail of drool leaks out. It's impossible to close it without hurting. He secures the buckles located on the back of your head.

Tommy still held onto your hair, so that you would face him. There's a scowl on his sharp features. His teeth are barred. Just looking at you pisses him off. He spits inside your mouth, watching as you squirm from the act. Your tongue swirls inside as an attempt to get rid of it. He does it again, this time right at your face, then again and again. He wants this to be as humiliating as possible for you. Bound and gagged, like an animal.

Tommy zips opens his fly, he pulls out his semi-hardened cock. He gives it a few lazy tugs before finding the right grip. Then he starts to pump his shaft while keeping eye contact with you. His cold blues stare down yours. Like a predator stalking its prey. He huffs, quickening his pace.

Tommy then grabs the back of your head and forces you to take his cock. He thrusts it as far as he could go. He bucks his hips a few times, groaning at the welcoming feeling of a warm hole. You were like a present wrapped around him. His eyelids shut, his lashes fluttering from the pleasure. He pauses for a moment to catch his breath. His hands are rough, gripping the sides of your head as he starts fucking your mouth.

You have no choice but to take it. He then plunges his member as deep as it could go, stifling your sobs. There are only squelching noises coming from your mouth, just how he likes it. He gives another deep thrust, holding it for a moment as you struggle to breathe. Your nose brushes against his pubic hair. A huge trail of drool and cum dribbles down your chin. Tommy moans, "Fuck yeah...let me fuck your throat..." he throws his head back in pleasure before looking back down at your pathetic form.

He indulges in the sight of you crying out. He could practically feel the scream trapped in the back of your throat, "M'gonna paint you with it..." His breath starts to shorten, "...mark what's mine," Tommy shuts his lids, his nose scrunches as he was close. Your throat was burning from the abuse. Soon enough he came, in hard waves. He shoots a load down your throat, painting the inside to his liking.

Tommy waits for a moment to catch breath. Some of his hair sticks to his forehead from the sweat. He brushes it back with a free hand, catching his breath. His cock was still buried deep inside your mouth. He hisses, baring his teeth while pulling it out. His cum trails from the tip of his cock to your now swollen lips. There's something so sinister about the act that he just can't seem to get enough of. He actually starts to laugh, "You'd let anyone use you, hm?" If he were in a romantic mood, he'd kiss you, make it all nice and sloppy.

But it just wasn't enough. He wants more of you. He cuts the ropes that bounded your hands to the chair, pulling you out of it. One of the first things you do is make a run for it. He groans with annoyance, what a stupid thing to do. Before you could reach the door Tommy plants a few bullets in it. You fall to the ground, shielding your head from the strays.

Tommy sighs, "You shouldn't have done that..." he places his gun back in into its holster, before approaching your quivering form still on the floor. If looks could kill, you would be dead on the spot. You're too scared to even move, trapped under his piercing gaze. Tommy's expression is purely livid. He strides over, his cock still half hard. He curls a finger, giving a nonverbal command. When you dare not to move, it only worsens his mood.

You shook your head, "Please...you don't have to do this..."

"I know, I want to," he confesses, "I want to break you,"

If you didn't want to comply, fine. He'll have to come over there. Tommy's shoe lands on your shoulder, sending you falling to the ground with a thud. He has a leg to each of your sides, now wrestling into submission. His strength is unlike anyone you've met. He forces you on your stomach. You try your best to fend off the gangster.

You land an elbow on Tommy's rib, before he ultimately wins the upper hand. He uses his belt to bind both your wrists together. As you twist and turn, Tommy lands a few hard cracks against your rear. A chain of curses escapes your lips. He doesn't stop, not even after your skin is raw. He'll make sure to leave bruises. When he hears your mumbled, pleas turn into full-on screaming, it was music to his ears. He wonders what it would sound like breaking you in.

Tommy doesn’t bother prepping, he wants this to hurt. He slides his leaking tip up and down, gliding it against your cunt. It takes him a moment to find it. Soon enough, he's pressing his leaking tip against your opening. He held your head still against the ground. His gloved hand spreads across the side of your face. His other held his cock, guiding it to your opening. As soon as he thrusts it in, you scream at the top of your lungs. Fuck did his ears hurt.

A hand shoots to muffle your cries. Tommy scowls, "Fucks sake would you keep quiet?!" he looks you in the eyes, "This isn't your first time," when he says it you only cry harder. That's when it clicked. Tommy grins, "So it is..." there's a hint of glee in his voice. He sounds smug, knowing that he'd taken something from you that no other man will, "Then I might as well take every last one..." he purrs, thrusting his hips faster.

There was something about being a woman's first that does something to a man. Tommy wanted to fuck that innocence away. He's going to train you really well, have you begging for his cock. He'll make sure to ruin you for any other man. He spits on his gloved palm, reaching down to rub at your sensitive bundle of nerves. He can feel your walls fluttering everything he rubs small circles against your clit. He can feel that you were close and quickens his pace.

He grunts, "You keep saying no..." he collects the growing slick from your folds, "But the body never lies..." he juts his hips. A stray of curses escapes his lips as changes pace. He presses his sturdy body against yours. His embrace was suffocating. Tommy only seemed to care for his own comfort, reveling in the feeling of a tight cunt. He tilts his head to face your ear, "When your husband finds out you've already been used..." he has a way to torment with words alone, "You will always remember this...remember me..." he slows his pace, now thrusting deep and slow. He's focused on making you come undone. He wants to be your first everything.

Tommy whispers, "...You’ll remember your first time, being taken by a filthy gangster,” he rasps, licking a stripe against the shell, "First fuck..." he forces your mouth to part, delving his tongue deep inside. He swirls the muscle around, taking his sweet time tasting the corners of your mouth. He muffles your whimpers in the kiss, parting with a smack, "First kiss..." his hand now rubs your sensitive nerves in short, hard circles, "First time coming undone..." he doesn't stop, not even after the waves of pleasure hits you, "All mine..."

Although you were the enemy, you have a snatch that could drain his balls dry. Tommy juts his hips back and forth, feeling for a good rhythm. He grunts against your neck, dipping his tongue out to taste those sweet tears. He moans, "You're going to take every, fucking, drop," thrusting his hips with each word. Just how he likes it, "'Gonna make you pay me back yeah?" he whispers.

Tommy fastens his pace. His breathing becomes ragged, to the point where he can only speak in short curses. He bites down on your shoulder, enough to draw blood. When he finishes inside, part of you felt almost grateful he was finally done. That spark of hope quickly dies out when he starts pressing his tip against your ring.

You've never screamed so hard in your life. You almost feel dizzy from how much pain you were in. Almost passing out a few times. Your comfort doesn't matter to him. After all, you're his property. Tommy locks an arm around your neck, squeezing hard enough to make you faint. You went limp as he began pummeling your channel. It was euphoric to him, seeing the enemy suffering.

Usually, he wouldn't feel this satisfied, not even with a killing, it was more of a chore for him. But this? There was no other pleasure like it, and Tommy Shelby has had a lot of sex. He leaves your bruised and battered body on the cold floor. Blood and spunk oozes from both holes. Tommy begins to dress himself. He doesn't even bother to look at you.

Only when he retrieves a handkerchief from his coat pocket, wiping it against your mound. He presses the fabric against the abused holes, scooping out its contents before pocketing it. He'll need this for later. Tommy doesn't feel any shame or remorse, he can't seem to feel anything. He takes a drag after a fuck like that. It helps him think. What to do, what to do, his options are endless.

There you are, his pet, still panting from earlier like some bitch in heat. He's still riding that adrenaline rush. You on the other hand, were out of it. Mentally and physically. Unable to even whimper because you had lost your voice a while ago.

Tommy crouches down, peering at your expressionless face. He mentally captures this moment, enjoying that foggy look in your eyes. He hums, "Let's get you cleaned up," he splashes a bucket of ice-cold water on you. He leaves you now soaking from head-to-toe. Your undergarments now cling onto your skin, leaving little to the imagination. Tommy forces you to stand. He held you up by the back of your neck with a firm grip, leading the way outside.

A group of onlookers see what's happening. Tommy Shelby, leader of the Peaky Blinders, parading a poor woman who had been stripped of her modesty. He doesn't bother covering your face. He wants people to recognize you. They don’t speak up, afraid of would happen if they would. He hands the bloodied napkin to one of his men, "For the parents," perhaps this will send a message.

Tommy clicks open the trunk, shoving you inside. He slams it shut before driving off to a new location. He knows that word will spread. Soon enough, it'll reach your family's ears. If it's a war they want, then it's a war they'll get. He's not worried at all about what would happen, he knows he has the high ground. He's going to enjoy watching your clan die out.

But for now, he needs to smuggle his new pet out of the city.

[yeahiamjustalittleguy]

Thanks!! Could u do a team rancher x dsmp reader where, during the hermitcraft and empires crossover, the reader somehow ends up in either empires or hermitcraft and sees Jimmy and Tango and remembers them from double life (the three of them were soulmates)

A little bit of angst/comfort where reader doesnt want to go back to the dsmp but they have to because dream has them on a wanted poster and he would travel through worlds and destroy them just to find reader and they dont want hermitcraft or empires getting destroyed because of them

CAN I JUST SAY OKAY.... Ranchers are the love of my life. I love them so deeply. I never watched jimmys pov of anything before double life. They got a grasp on me man..

Warnings: Angst, no happy ending and mentions of DSMP which is a horror in itself lol

____________________________________________

The last thing you remembered was the stinging sensation of withering, as you hid in a closed off room in a nether fortress, trying to not die. Then there was purple, and then nothing. It didn’t explain what was happening, but it wasn’t that long since you had entered a new SMP and you knew what that felt like, so you instinctively knew that when you awoke you were somewhere else. In a new world. Truth be told, the revelation came as a welcomed surprise. The DSMP was a hard place and it had never really suited you all that well. Your soul was too soft for it, many had told you. That’s why all your friends and family had been surprised when you had accepted the invitation to the double life server. Although it was more lighthearted than the DSMP, it was still known for violence and bloodshed. You’d never tell them, but you’d give anything to leave the DSMP. You didn’t care what server had invited you, it didn’t matter what double life was, you took the invite in a heartbeat. Turns out double life had been the best experience of your life too. You’d buried the feelings of why, never telling anyone on the DSMP that you’d fallen in love. The server didn’t allow for such weakness, so you buried it all.

You’re in some kind of cave when your mind comes to. It has a bunch of things you’re not entirely sure what are, and to your surprise it also has Grian. You’d known him for a long time, which was originally the reason you had been invited to double life. That’s when you knew where you were. If Grian was here it had to be the server he usually frequented, which was hermitcraft. He was just as surprised to see you as you were to see him. “How.. Am I here?” You had asked him, puzzled. This type of cross server travel was something you’d simply never heard of. The only way to usually go to any other server was through your communicator and only by getting an invite. He walked over to hug you, smiling. You tensed, not being used to positive physical contact. When he pulled away he still had a big smile on his face. “I can’t believe you’re somehow here! I thought the rift was just between hermitcraft and Empires.” He explained, and you raised an eyebrow at his lack of a real explanation. “The rift?” You enquired.

“I accidentally created a rift between servers. I don’t really know how, but I am glad you’re here. This is cool.” He was clearly excited about it, but you were worried. “How do I get back, Grian?” You knew your disappearance would not go over well in your own world. Both because your friends and family would miss you, but also because you knew the lengths Dream would go to just to make sure you stayed chained to your own world. Everyone had their part to play in his schemes, and you were sure your disappearance would somehow ruin his plans and make him go ballistic. Grian looked sad and dejected at the prospect of you not staying, but you had to go. You knew it would only cause trouble if you didn’t. “You can go back and forth through the rift, as long as it stays open. But hey, stay for just a little bit, won’t you? Just to see the server- I could show you so many things!” Once again he seemed excited at the prospect of you staying, just a little bit. 

Maybe a few hours wouldn’t hurt. There was no way that he would notice you gone until later. He wouldn’t even have to know that you’d left. You already knew it was a yes. The temptation of a couple hours of peace and happiness was all too much, and the question had never even been real. Of course you would stay. Grian didn’t even really need to convince you, nodding your head as he grabbed you once again and unfolded his large wings to carry you out of the apparent cave you were in. 

You had fun for a bit, examining Grians base with him. He was about to move on to show what his neighbor, Mumbo, had been working on when his communicator went off a couple of times. He excused himself for a second, checking it with wide eyes. “Wait here, I have to go do something.” He said, about to take flight when you grabbed his arm in panic, surprising both of you. Grian knew you were jumpy, but not this much. He was aware of the changes that the DSMP had done to you, and you had both discussed it in double life. It was hard to deny it with Grian, he had known you before you joined. He knew the person you were before that server changed you completely. He understood why the thought of him leaving you alone was so frightening to you. “I’ll drop you off with someone you know, I promise.” He settled on, and although you were uncomfortable with the idea, you didn’t want to burden him so you nodded, as he once again picked you up to take you somewhere. 

So when he dropped you off with the nearest person, who happened to be Scar, you were even less comfortable. You’d grown to like Scar over the season you had with him but you knew he was not a person equipped to babysit you. It was no surprise that as soon as Grian left Scar first dragged you around his park, but then when that ran out of interest for him you were getting dragged all over the server. Then, somewhere along the way you lost Scar. It was bound to happen with him flying around. He couldn’t carry you like Grian could. For a while you stood still, but it didn’t look like Scar was even looking for you or backtracking. So you decided to start walking, deeply on edge. Then you spotted a structure.

It stopped you in your tracks as you had to decide between trying to get help or finding your way back. After an inner battle, you decided to approach the building. It was black with blue and purple accents, and it was quite beautiful. Everything on this server had been so stunning. Coming from the DSMP it left you speechless sometimes. The only person on the DSMP who ever made anything this substantial was Foolish, and you’d never had the time to simply appreciate his builds. Walking so you were stood right in front of it, you tried to build up the courage to explore it to find help, but you just kept having that feeling in your stomach and the inability to make your legs move. 

But you didn’t need to, as voices started to approach behind you from the treeline. It was starting to get dark out, so it made sense that someone would be coming home at this point, but your brain didn’t register anything except the fact that there were people coming for you. And in a panic, you unsheathe the sword you had borrowed from Grian, turning around quickly in a stance ready to fight as the two people become visible to you, and you to them. And they both stop in their tracks, the cheerful chattering coming to a halt at seeing you. But it’s not fear or surprise on their face, it’s faces of recognition. And the same look comes to your face, as your panic fades completely and warmth crawls up your body and into your cheeks. 

They both shout your name, running towards you, Tango embracing you first and then Jimmy enclosing you both in his arms. “T-tango, J-jimmy.” You say their names shakily, somehow against your own will. It’s like a deep hidden need or urge to say them. The things you did together, the feelings both of them drew from you, it all comes back to you right then and there. Why couldn’t you have stayed in double life forever, with those two? It was cruel, but beautiful. Something in your mind couldn’t stop you from thinking it was fate, that maybe if you were lucky, you would continue to run into them like this. That maybe something would happen, and you could have this forever. But you were not that naive.

Jimmy pulled away, but left his hands on Tangos back. Tango didn’t completely pull away, but he did pull back to grab your face in one hand, tilting it up so he could look at you. His face had a beautiful smile painted on it, but you could see that his eyes were a little wet. Looking towards Jimmy, you almost burst out laughing, seeing him fully sobbing. "Hey! Don’t laugh at me.” He said, covering his face in embarrassment and then wiping his tears away. It was honestly just.. It was a lot, and keeping your tears in yourself had been hard so you couldn’t really pick on him too much. “It was a lot today, seeing both Tango and you for the first time in a while, okay!” He explained, as Tango continued to laugh deep from within his stomach. Feeling his body again, feeling the rumble of his voice leaving his chest, it was beyond any other feeling in the world. You missed it. You had missed it so, so much.

You somehow ended up on a couch after talking for hours, Tango on his stomach against you, both of you once again trapped inside Jimmys’ arms as he laid on his side next to you. He had the longest arms, you’d learned, and so he was always left on big spoon and outer layer cuddle-pile duty. It was hard to feel bad for him, as he looked so content. If you kept playing with his hair, you were convinced you could make him fall asleep. It was something you’d have to test, to be sure. Tango wouldn’t stop turning his head to look up at you, his goofy smile constantly glued to his face. It was perfect. You don’t know which god was playing with you. Giving you this taste of heaven, when you knew it could never last forever. all you would ever get was a little taste, you could never really have the full experience. It would just leave you with a craving that would never be satisfied.

And with Grian and Scar suddenly shouting your name from somewhere outside Tangos’ base, you knew it was time. Jimmy seemed to be pulled out of his half-asleep state, and Tango followed suit, sitting up. You heard Grian calling your name again, this time closer. There was a silence as you all looked between each other, Tango and Jimmy both knowing the look in your eyes. They both knew that look all too well. From when you all lost your first life to the last one, they’d seen it. The eyebrows that pulled upwards and the eyes that glossed over. You were saying ‘I’m sorry’ again. And they knew you were going to leave. 

Desperately, Jimmy latched onto your arms. “No, don’t leave us again. Stay. Just-you can stay! You can stay for as long as I can, right? Tango? They can stay-” You cut him off, knowing you would break if you let him ramble on for any longer and also for his own sake. You knew he would just keep spiraling. “I have to go, Jimmy. Everyone from your world is onboard with you being here but.. I can’t stay. The people from my server wouldn’t..” You stopped to choose your words carefully. You didn’t want Tango and Jimmy to know. You didn’t want them to worry. They didn’t need to know what the DSMP was actually like, it would only hurt them to know. 

“They wouldn’t get it. They would.. Miss me." It wasn’t entirely true, yet not entirely false either. You’re sure Dream would miss whatever plans he had for you, and you’re sure he would tear the entire universe apart to find you. That was more fun, anyways. You don’t know what his intentions are or what plans he has for you, but you’re sure tormenting you and bringing you back on your knees is more fun to him than making a new plan. And you don’t want to test him. You know what the man is capable of. Maybe if you let him take your last two lives, as he had taken the first, you could escape. But even in death Wilbur couldn’t, so you were not hopeful in that regard. You only feared to think what your purgatory would be like. No, instead you would return home. Keep going in the hopes of once again getting to hear Jimmy and Tango laugh.

Tango was taking it well, all things considered. You could tell he was sad, but he at least understood where you were coming from. Jimmy on the other hand was just looking between you and Tango, mad at you for letting yourself leave and mad at Tango for letting you leave. But he sighed, sinking back into the couch and away from you. He looked back up at you in defeat as you heard Grian and Scar call for Tango. You leaned in, putting an ascetic and fast kiss to Jimmys’ lips before taking Tangos’ hand and walking down stairs together. You and Tango both knew that Jimmy would not be able to let you go if he went with you, and Jimmy must have known too as he abstained from following you but simply sat there with tears starting to form in his eyes. 

“Oh, thank goodness you’re okay. It was getting dark and I was worried, I knew I shouldn’t have left you with Scar.” Grian rambled as he ran towards you and hugged you as soon as you and Tango came into his vision. You looked behind him, seeing a very relieved and apologetic Scar waving at you. “I definitely don’t plan on letting Scar babysit my kids.” You said, putting up a joking demeanor to block the pain that was building up inside you. Grian let go of you, stepping back. “I’m sorry it took so long, are you ready to go?” Grian asked, and you grabbed Tangos’ hand. His eyes were glossy and slightly red, but he wasn’t crying. He must have been holding it back well, just like you were. Putting the other hand on his cheek, he copied you and laid his hand on yours and you leaned up to give him a deep and final kiss, which was the goodbye between you two before you parted. 

Grian and Scar were looking at you in surprise as you separated, starting to walk away and when they regained their composure, they followed suit silently, ready to lead you back to the rift. To most, this had just been a fun little game with the idea of soulmates. But to you and your ranchers it had been real, it had meant everything. You just hoped it would not be the last time you ever got to see them.

[wildernessuntothemselves]

You Are My Queen Now | Part 6

Word Count: 17.6k (i fucking hate myself)

Genre: Smut, angst, fluff

Summary: Growing up as a child of a minor lord, you had it instilled in you since a young age that you needed to find yourself a rich and affluent husband that would not only provide a comfortable life for you, but would also help further your family’s position in the court. So it was of the utmost importance that you remain a virgin in order to land such a coveted husband.

The problem lies when the man you secretly love, Prince Beomgyu, suddenly and unabashedly propositions you.

Warnings: extremely unhealthy and codependant relationship dynamics, mentions of past noncon, graphic description of killing an animal, fucked up family relationships, hints at forced impregnation, possible poor editing lmao

The first night you spent at Taehyun’s castle by the sea was harrowing.

No sooner had you gotten to the castle safely than Taehyun had abandoned you in your new quarters under the pretense of giving you space to grief and process everything. You didn’t need space. You needed compassion and kindness, not being left alone so soon after betraying Beomgyu and witnessing such frightful actions done in cold blood.

Your newfound home was the perfect reflection of your anguished mental state, with its dark recesses and chilling winds that so resembled the cries of your loved one as it billowed through the cracks in the foundation.

You were left to wonder what became of Beomgyu and if he got home safely? How is he feeling right now? What about the families of those men, were they cursing your name to the heavens right now?

It was a miserable night with not a moment of reprieve from your own thoughts.

Thankfully, the horror and grief didn’t cloud your days for long, only your nights.  Once the light of day shone through your desolate mind, you got the chance to calm down and rationalize, and understand that Taehyun's actions that night were not done in malice.

The guards? It was your own stupid naivety for thinking you could escape from the literal prince without any bloodshed. 

Assaulting Beomgyu? To Taehyun, Beomgyu is just your captor and rapist. He holds no affinity to the prince and he doesn't share your deep sentiments towards him. 

Threatening his own men? He was just protecting your honor in a way Beomgyu never could. You've been so bothered by being viewed as the whore. Well, here is a man who will quickly and ruthlessly put an end to that. How can you complain? 

Honestly, he has done nothing but rescue and protect you. You can't fault him for it. You're just a stupid girl who thinks these things can be accomplished without anyone getting hurt. 

You can fault him for one thing however, and that is his extreme lack of emotional support and compassion. Not only did he not stay by your side that night, but neither did he any night after that. No, he leaves you to contend with your thoughts because, as he claims, he doesn't wish to give anyone the chance to make any further comments about your honor if he were to stay overnight in your chambers. In any other situation you would find it noble, but right now it just leaves you alone and grieving in foreign place. 

Still, it might’ve been understandable enough if he made up for it during the day, but you don’t get the chance to see the lord of the castle nearly as much as you thought you would. Unlike Beomgyu, who is relegated to the role of the spare in his household and doesn’t have much that he needs to attend to due to his parents’ and older brother’s presence, Taehyun is the sole ruler of his land and all the responsibility falls on him alone. So naturally, he’s not free to see you often, but even when he is, things are far from perfect. 

Now that you’re here, he has a lot of expectations for you and you can sense that you’re not meeting those as much as he had hope you would, so even the short amount of time you get to spend together is spent under a lot of tension before he has to leave you alone again to feel even worse about yourself and the situation you’d gotten yourself into. 

Well, that’s not entirely true. You can't say you're completely alone. You do have the company of Taehyun's little brother, Kai.

Kai had approached you the morning after you arrived with the curious eagerness of a large puppy. 

"So you're the lady my brother is going to make us go to war over?" 

His words had caused your face to fall as you figured he would be another one of those nobles who were bothered by your mere presence in their lives. "Oh…"

"Oh no, I meant that as a joke!" He had hurried to say, cringing at how he had come across, his voice raised in panic. "I just meant…" He started but then shook his head and extended his hand to you, giving you an apologetic smile. "Let me start over. Hello, I'm Kai, Taehyun's little brother." 

You took his hand gratefully, smiling at how flustered he’d gotten. "Hello, Kai. Nice to meet you." 

"It's so nice to finally meet you too. Taehyun has told me so much about you." 

"He did?" You had asked, trying not to sound too eager. 

"Uh, well not really." He scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "You know how he is. I just gathered little bits of information here and there from him before he'd tell me to fuck off. But it was all good things!" 

"What kind of good things?" You asked genuinely, wondering why Taehyun even chose to help you. He’d told you that it was because he saw potential in you, but you don’t know if you can believe that. 

But Kai’s words had fallen in line with that same assertion. "He said that he really thinks you could be the woman who could rule beside him." 

Your smile turns unsure. “I don’t know if he still thinks that anymore. I wasn’t exactly the picture of a strong woman yesterday. I think maybe that's why he's been avoiding me. He's disappointed." 

"Oh, no, no. Taehyun would never give up on someone that easily. He hasn't given up on me and I've been disappointing him my whole life." He declares proudly, making you burst out laughing despite yourself. "He's going to help you."

"You're cute." You grinned, finding the boy quite endearing, even more so when he blushes. 

“Thank you.” 

Following that day. Kai became your companion in this strange place, and honestly, you couldn’t have asked for a better one. 

Well, you would've preferred if the man who brought you here would've actually paid attention to you, but Kai will do.  

That’s not to say that Taehyun doesn’t treat you well, he does, albeit a bit awkwardly. You've come to know through Kai that he's never courted another woman before. That suave persona he showed you before was skin deep. He only knew how to be charming at a surface level but, lacking the experience and preferring to focus on other things, it quickly fell apart. And it becomes all the worse when he’s trying to teach you something. Then all the charm is gone and you’re just left with a strict military man. The problem is you’re not a soldier. 

Maybe your expectations were also too high because Beomgyu was so outwardly expressive towards you. Maybe this is what normal people act like when they're in love. 

Are you in love? If love is what you had with Beomgyu then no, you’re decidedly not. Taehyun is like a closed book to you. How can you read a man you haven't known your entire life and how can you, in turn, love him? 

It's not like you can ask him either. He expects you to be strong like you said you would be. You can't go and ask him if he loves you like some kind of vapid, foolish little girl. That's not what strong women do. 

So you grin and bear, your interactions with him somehow becoming more strained as time goes on. But Kai is as good a replacement as any. He's sweet, funny and kind, and a massive dork. He introduces you to his own closest friend, Jaeyun, who happens to be your archery teacher. 

Seeing how weak you are, Taehyun had decided to make you switch from a longbow to a crossbow. It's much easier to draw as it doesn’t rely on your physical strength so you’re left to focus on actually practicing your aim. 

You're not particularly gifted with it, nor have you had any training in anything similar to it before, so you need to spend countless hours practicing it, and Taehyun isn’t available to oversee your training or help out most of the time. Therefore, you’re left to train with Jaeyun, and Kai who likes to hang around you two. 

You sort of prefer it that way anyway so you can hone your skill without suffering under the weight of Taehyun’s expectations, and maybe later on you can show him what you’ve picked up and he might actually give you a genuine smile. 

God, that’s sad, isn’t it? Working so hard just so the aloof lord would show you the slightest hint of approval. You never needed to earn Beomgyu’s approval. He loved you as you are. You’re the one who wanted more than he could possibly give you, and now you’ve fallen harder than ever in your effort to chase that distant dream. 

This castle–and yes, it is a proper castle unlike Beomgyu’s cushioned palace–is ancient and sturdy, or as you prefer to describe it–old and ugly. It’s the complete antithesis to the flowery palace of the royals. The food here is terrible–you don’t even like seafood–and the man of the house is never around and when he is, he treats you like a disappointed parent. How did you go from living a plushy life with a man who adores the ground you walk on to this? 

Oh yeah, because you got it into your head that you could have not only money and power, but dignity and respect too. Well, now that you see what you have to go through in order to obtain all of that, you’re not sure you want it anymore. You could’ve been in Beomgyu’s arms right now, his soothing, deep vibrato voice reading you your favorite book as you pass the afternoon in sleepy bliss, but instead you’re here, in a filthy practice range, shooting at straw men.

You take in a deep breath and huff it all out in one go, then you aim your crossbow at the target and close one eye before you release the string. The arrow flies at the target, and actually hits it. 

You’re better at this now because for one, you had more time to practice, and two, it's much easier to wield a crossbow than the longbow Beomgyu made you try, and you can’t help but wonder if that was a deliberate choice on his part just so you'd fail and not ask to train again. 

"Nice shot." Jaeyun praises, but you’re in too restless a mood to humor his attempt at making you feel good.

"Don't lie."

He gives you an innocent look. "What? You really improved." 

"Yeah, but not enough for Taehyun." You mutter. Taehyun has made it clear that, while he understands you're not just going to be the woman he wants right away, he expects you to get your shit together and show him you can be.

“He can be a bit scary, right?” Kai supplies sympathetically. 

“A bit? Man gives me the creeps.” Jaeyun pipes in with a laugh and points the arrow he’s holding in his hand at you, “It’s not too late to escape, you know?” 

“Don’t listen to him.” Kai rolls his eyes, “You could be good for him. Like the princess and the beast.” He adds the last part excitedly, reminding you of your own younger self getting excited at fairytales. 

“Been there, done that. Not looking to do that anymore.” You say bitterly, and an awkward silence settles over everyone. 

You start stressing over having made things weird, but then Jaeyun speaks up. "So what was the prince like?" 

Kai shoots him a glare but he just shrugs. You bark out a laugh that stops just as abruptly as it had begun. 

"He was… everything. He was kind and loving and generous." You recall sadly, your heart squeezing painfully in your chest. 

"So why would you leave him to live in this dark and damp castle?" Jaeyun presses, all but oblivious to Kai’s unsubtle glares. 

"I wanted to have control over my own life.” You sigh, “He gave me all the material things and all the love I could ever ask for and, in turn, he wanted to have me all to himself while he got married to another woman. He did terrible things in order to keep me by his side. He was controlling my life like a puppet master and I never even saw it until Taehyun came along. I needed to take back my life from him and so I escaped.”

"Having control over your life is not as great as you think it is.” Jaeyun comments dismissively.   “Women might think it's freeing and empowering but it isn’t. All it does is add responsibility to you and stress you out. You think as a man, I’m in charge of my own life? No, I have to slave away in this job in order to maintain my position and provide a good life for my wife, and I don’t even get much doing it because lord righteous won't pay us like the rest of the lords because 'rulers shouldn't live comfortably while the poor people starve'.” Jaeyun complains, “You say this prince gave you everything you ever asked for and he loved you too on top of it? I'd kill to have been in your shoes, just get pampered and coddled and have to do nothing?"

"I didn't have to do nothing." You hiss, but Jaeyun doesn’t take the hint. 

"So you let him between your legs every once in a while, there are worse fates than that." He shrugs. You know he doesn't know about Beomgyu forcing himself on you but it is still insensitive to say that considering he very well knows what the reputation of a woman living like that would be. 

What hurts even more is that he’s yet another person who seems to think that you should have just accepted being Beomgyu’s whore and that you’re being sensitive over nothing. Once again, you feel stupid and weak. You couldn’t handle Beomgyu and you can’t handle Taehyun. Maybe you don’t deserve either. 

Angrily throwing your crossbow on a nearby table, you walk away without a word. That’s all you can do. In the background you can hear the sound of a smack. 

“Idiot!” 

"What? It’s true."

You wish that is the end of it but then you hear footsteps running after you, and you brace yourself for a conversation you really don't have the energy for right now. 

“Hey, wait up!” Kai shouts, his long legs helping him catch up quickly with you. “I’m sorry–”  

You spin around on your heel, and snarl at Kai a little too harshly, “Not now, Kai. I just want to be left alone.” 

“I’ll do that, I promise, but I just wanted to apologize on his behalf. He can be thoughtless sometimes but he doesn’t mean to be an asshole.” 

“It’s okay. Maybe he’s right. Maybe I’m just a stupid girl who doesn’t know how good she had it.” 

“No! If the prince was making you do things you didn’t want to do then you have every right to leave him. Not everything that looks good is actually good. I’m sure you had your reasons.” Kai protests vehemently, and something about what he said piques your curiosity. 

So Taehyun didn’t tell even Kai about what Beomgyu did to you? He kept the truth about your shame to himself and didn’t tell even his own brother. 

In that moment, your respect and gratitude towards Taehyun returned twofold. He is truly serious about giving you the respect you’ve always wanted. 

The smile that you give Kai isn’t feigned. "Thank you for being one of only two people who understand.” 

______________________________

‘Comparison is the thief of joy’ goes the old adage that repeats in your mind every day. You’ve never felt the truth of it more than you do now. Maybe if you weren’t so preoccupied with comparing Taehyun to Beomgyu, you wouldn’t feel like your life now is so lacking. Maybe you’d appreciate what you’ve gained instead of missing what you no longer have. But it’s hard to refrain from that affliction when you are used to a certain way of living and a certain kind of relationship for so long. Maybe you’d have an easier time kicking the habit if Beomgyu doesn’t make sure to remind you of what you’re missing with his constant barrage of letters that, like a fool, you subject yourself to every single time. 

And maybe Beomgyu had the right idea back when he’d tried to prevent any contact between you and Taehyun because, unlike the prince, Taehyun doesn’t make any attempt to intercept the letters Beomgyu sends, telling you that if you are to choose him, he wants you to do it out of your own free will. It’s a lovely sentiment from the otherwise reserved man, but the resulting reality of Beomgyu having this relatively unrestricted way of contacting you messes with your already vulnerable emotional state.

Beomgyu’s letters are a beast of their own. Each one unlike the one before it, but all reeking of his abysmal state of mind, and you can’t help but worry for him. He speaks to you of his broken heart, saying how he can't believe you would hurt him this bad. Saying he'll die for you, he'll kill for you. 

My princess, every day that passes me by without you by my side is simple agony. Are you satisfied now that you’ve gotten your revenge on me? 

Other times he's worried about you. 

I fear for you. Is he hurting you? 

And other times he's jealous. 

Does he feel as good as I do? Does he kiss you like I do? 

Yet other times he lets his fury take over, telling you to come home or else, threatening that he’ll attack Taehyun’s castle to kill him and bring you back.

You're mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. No one else can have you. Do you know how insane you're driving me? Come back before I really do something crazy.

You relay those last ones to Taehyun who reassures you that the king won’t let Beomgyu do such a thing. And when you suggest that Beomgyu might just kill his father, Taehyun dismisses you by stating that such an action would result in his execution–a fact that only makes you more anxious. You don’t want him to condemn himself because of you. You want him to give up on you and be happy with his wife. 

No, that’s a lie. You wish that’s how you felt but just the idea of it has your heart threatening to quit on you. You don’t want him to be happy without you. You don’t want him to stop loving you, because you don’t think you’ll ever stop loving him. 

You don’t tell Taehyun this but each letter, despite how frantic or threatening or angry it is, acts like a balm to your grieving heart, a reassurance that he’s in the same boat as you. Taehyun doesn’t need to know that. Even Beomgyu doesn’t need to know that. It’s your own sinful secret to keep as you dive into his latest letter to you. 

This time, it’s a poem, and you clutch it close to your heart as your eyes eagerly pick the letters off the page. 

My princess I have known you your whole life I have cared for you for every bit of it And I have loved you for always

From our shared naive childhood Through the clumsy teens fumbling through puberty All the way to our flourishing twenties  When your beauty reached such a peak that men fell at your feet And I was no different from those men

You were my light in the darkest of places My hope when I feared that I had nowhere and no one else to turn to You never left my side and I never planned on leaving yours You were the only woman — the only person — who was ever on my mind The only one who I wanted for all of eternity

When I told you of my feelings and you confessed your own  I thought we could finally be happy But I saw my hopes shatter in the reflection of your tears As you told me how you could never be mine

I found myself crushed And feeling as if I’d lost my reason for living You were my everything And I thought I was yours as well

I wanted to be the kind of man you wish I was The one who could put put his feelings to the side and let you go Let you find happiness in someone else  But how could I do that when I know we were meant to be? 

That night you tried to leave me You hurt me so terribly I thought I might die But I hurt you too My heart wrenched at the sight of your tears and the sound of your soft sobs  My hands itched to reach out and wipe away your tears Along with the rest of your sorrow But I couldn’t Because it was me who was making you cry

I watched you shy away from me with a gaping hole in my heart I cried myself to sleep wondering how I could make it up to you But the damage I did was too terrible for you, my sweet And so you left me for him

But I still think of you I think of the smile on your face The flush on your cheeks And the glimmer in your eyes And I think of how they’re for him now  I cannot bear it all 

I cannot bear the thought of never again seeing your blinding smile Hear your healing laugh Touch your soft skin The notion of never basking in your presence again Frightens me to no end

I am willing to sacrifice everything for you My money, my power, even my family With the hope that we could meet again And be together then

But if all my efforts turn out to be in vain If we’re not destined to be with each other in this lifetime And I must suffer through the agony of not having you as my beloved Then let me suffer But fear not

I promise to care for you in this life and every other one  I promise to love you Because even when I’m dead, darling My soul would still be yours

Would you still be mine? 

Your hands shake as you finish reading, your tears, the most familiar companion you know now, fall onto the letter to join smudge marks that were already there when you first opened it. You know all too well how Beomgyu felt writing this letter because you feel it too. 

You know he’s right. You were made to be with each other, but the gods must’ve thought it so amusing to make it so you cannot be together, and the biggest testament to that is the ring Beomgyu attached with the letter. 

It represents his unending love and loyalty towards you, but also how empty those are when reality itself is standing in your way. You stare at it wistfully, the crowning diamond so clear it mirrors the tears on your cheeks, because you know that even if you put it on, it wouldn’t mean anything. Even if you go back to him, nothing would change. You have no choice but to stay. The question is, do you want to stay?

Does Taehyun even want you to stay? 

Beomgyu has been beside himself trying to prove how much he loves and misses you, and trying to get you to come back to him in any way he can, while Taehyun has barely spent any time with you since you came here. Shouldn’t he be making an effort too? He seemed so interested in you back at the palace and he went through so much trouble to get you here, so why is he pulling away now? You have spent more time with his brother, and even Jaeyun, than with Taehyun himself. Was it a mistake coming here? 

No, you can’t let yourself get sucked into that rabbit. It’s no use wondering whether you were right or wrong when you’re already here. You’ve made your bed and now you have to sleep in it. This isn’t some book you opened and didn’t like and now you want to put it back on the shelf. This is your life now and you have to commit to it. If Taehyun won’t come to you, you’ll go to him. 

Kai had told you earlier that he and Taehyun have a sparring session today. You could go down and spend some time with them and try to talk to Taehyun a bit, get him to open up and be more comfortable around you, and maybe things will get better from there. 

With that in mind, you head down to the training grounds, determination marking your every step.

______________________________________

Your plan works out better than you thought it would, as when you reach your destination, you find Taehyung alone, his younger brother having not arrived yet, and so you jump at the opportunity to spend some time alone with him. 

“Good morning, my lord.” You greet the man who is currently sharpening a sword. 

He stops what he’s doing and looks up, a small frown on his face. “Good morning, my lady. I thought I told you that you can call me Taehyun.” 

“You did but it feels discourteous calling you that when you still insist on calling me ‘my lady’.” You explain pointedly. “Especially around other people who are probably wondering where I get the nerve to call their lord by his first name.”

His frown deepens at that, turning into a full-blown scowl. “Why? Did someone say something to you?” 

“No, no.” You hurry to dispel his suspicions. “It was just an observation. No need to get all murderous.” You try to lighten up the mood with a joke but you quickly realize your mistake when he looks down and goes back to sharpening his sword. 

“So you’ve joined the ranks of those who call me that.” He comments, voice carefully devoid of any intonation. 

You feel bad for upsetting him but you also don’t want to lie. “I have seen you kill people.” 

“You think those guards didn’t deserve to die?”

It’s your turn to frown. “No. They were just doing their jobs.” 

“Their jobs of keeping watch while the prince violates you?” He asks and that stops you in your tracks. You’ve never thought of it that way. “The one who witnesses a crime and doesn’t stop it is just as bad as the perpetrator.” 

“But they couldn’t have done anything. He’s the prince.” You try to rationalize.

“They could have not worked for him, but his money was good enough to buy their morals.” 

You look away, feeling stupid for not realizing that sooner. You always feel stupid when it comes to him. 

“You may have a point.” You concede, the conversation dying down again. 

Nervous and not knowing what to say now, you look for something to occupy yourself with and quickly spot an ornate dagger on the table next to him. Curious, you grab it to inspect it. 

“Is this yours?” You ask, and Taehyun only looks up at you to confirm with a hum before going back to what he’s doing. 

It’s a curious thing, not bejeweled with precious stones like the personal weapons of the royals, but the handle is heavy and forged in an intricate pattern that you’d never seen before. Dare you say, it’s beautiful. 

Mesmerized by how beautiful it is and how reflective the surface is, you mindlessly run your finger along it, regretting it immediately when the edge cuts your skin as easily as if it were a stick of butter. 

“Ow!” You yelp, dropping it. 

“What the hell are you doing?” Taehyun admonishes, grabbing your hand to take a look at the wound, and you pout, “I didn’t think it would be sharp.” 

“Why the hell wouldn’t it be sharp? It’s a weapon, not a butterknife.” He sighs, exasperated, and drops your hand. You let it fall to your side, not even attempting to staunch the small cut because of how embarrassed you feel getting chided by him. 

“All such weapons I’d seen before in Beomgyu’s possession were only decorative.” You justify yourself, and he snorts derisively. “Of course they were because your prince is a pampered brat. I, on the other hand, need to carry real weapons on me in case anyone decides to make an attempt on my life.” 

“Well, maybe I would have known that if you had bothered to spend any time with me since I’d gotten here, let alone train me like you said you would.”

His eyes narrow at you, and regret bubbles in your throat once again as you feel your knees buckle under his glare. “I wanted to give you some time to get used to the place first.” 

“I’m more than used to it.” You double down stupidly, “I’m bored with it.” 

He doesn’t seem to find your petulance offensive. In fact, to your surprise, you see a smile tugging on his lips. “Fine, let’s train now, shall we?” 

He bends down to pick the dagger and, in the flash of an eye, he has it against your neck. “Rule number one, never drop your weapon. Your enemy could get a hold of it and use it against you.” 

Your mouth opens and closes uselessly, the blade not even touching you but the chill of it is felt against your neck. Thankfully, he takes it away and you can breathe again. 

He turns around and marches towards a table to grab something. “Rule number two, weapons aren’t toys. Treat them with caution.” He hands you what he got–a wooden dagger. “We’ll start with this. Since your prince doesn’t seem like he’s going to give up on you any time soon, we have to prepare for the possibility of him trying to send his men here to forcefully bring you back to him. Now, the castle is well protected, but in case they do manage to get through, you will need to learn how to defend yourself in order to ward off any attempts to kidnap you.” 

As he’s describing the scenario, you feel how real of a possibility that might be. After all, Beomgyu has told you that he will do anything to get you back.

“I will pretend to be someone trying to grab you and you have to stop me in any way you can. They will want to bring you back safely to him, and that’s an advantage to you because you can hurt them while they can’t hurt you. You’re a woman so you’re naturally weaker physically but this is where your dagger comes in.”

“So in this scenario, I would stab them?” You ask incredulously.

“Yes.” He answers simply. 

“What if I don’t want to stab anyone?” 

“Then just stand there and let them take you. You’ve done that your whole life, you should be used to it.” He cocks his head to the side, expression arrogant and challenging. He’s trying to goad you, and it works. 

Enraged, you grip the fake weapon tightly and charge at him. He easily dodges it, grabbing your arm and twisting it behind your back.

“Too slow, and your intentions are plain.” He whispers, his breath tickling your ear and making you shudder, before he pushes you away, making you stumble a bit before you regain your balance. “Again.” 

You charge at him again, but just as you near him, he steps to the side, and you, not having calculated for the sudden movement, fall to the ground. 

“Hmph!” Your breath is knocked out of you. You expect Taehyun to help you up but he just crosses his arms and raises an eyebrow at your fallen form. 

“Aren’t you going to help me up?” You complain irately. 

“You have arms and legs. You can help yourself up.” 

Ugh.

Huffing, you stand up and dust yourself off, muttering, “What a gentleman.” 

“I’m not trying to be a gentleman. In here I am your instructor, not the man who is courting you.” 

You snort at that. “You’re hardly the man courting me anywhere else.” 

“What is that supposed to mean?” 

Instead of replying, you attempt to ambush him. The sudden attack takes him a bit by surprise, but he still manages to grab your wrist and pull you to him, holding onto your waist tightly with his other hand so you can’t squirm away. 

There is barely any room for breath between you two as he murmurs, “Better but still bad.” 

You open your mouth to retort but it’s squeezed out of you when he shoves you away in a manner that is decidedly not gentlemanly. You get the overwhelming urge to stomp your foot and complain, but you know this would have no effect on the man in front of you so you just keep going. 

It goes on like this for a while, with you either charging and trying to stab him or him advancing on you and trying to disarm you–or should you say, successfully disarming you every time? It’s exhausting and he doesn’t make any attempts to be gentle with you, shoving you, giving you splinters by yanking the wooden dagger from your tight grip, letting you fall, twisting your arm behind your back so many times you’re worried he might fracture it… he doesn’t pull any stops on your account. 

“Come on, it’s like you’re not even trying.” He comments disparagingly, and you seethe. The hell you’re not trying! You’re doing your best, standing in front of him, panting and dirty while he has barely broken a sweat. It’s not fair that he’s a fucking warlord yet he somehow expects you to put up any kind of close fight. 

Clenching your teeth, you grip your dagger tightly and lunge at him. But if your early attempts were predictable, this one is too–moreover, you’re thoroughly exhausted by this point–and he effortlessly grabs onto your dagger-wielding arm and shoves it, along with you, against a nearby wooden beam.

“Tsk, tsk, you’re getting even worse.” He admonishes haughtily, and uses his body to pin you against the beam. 

You’re about to give him your best scathing retort, but something catches your attention–his eyes. 

“Your eyes… They’re gray. I never noticed.” You comment curiously, getting closer to his face to take a better look. You’ve never seen them this clearly before, and being this up close in bright sunlight, you can see how strangely beautiful they are.  “They look like the sea here.” 

Your compliment catches him off guard and he unconsciously softens. You watch as the black of his pupils widen to swallow more of the steely gray of his irises as you gaze into them, breaking eye contact only to glance down at his lips when he licks them. 

Suddenly, an idea pops into your brain, and you arch into him, pressing your body flush against the hard planes of his. Hearing his breath hitch the slightest bit, you close the remaining distance between you and kiss him. 

He falters, but you don’t stop. You kiss him until he yields and kisses you back, and then you push more, opening your mouth to glide your tongue against the seam of his lips, coaxing him to let you in. Curiously, he lets you lead the kiss, allowing himself to fall into whatever rhythm you choose to set, and you take this opportunity to not hold back. 

When you feel him press back against you and moan into your mouth, that’s when you strike, using your free hand to grab at the real dagger he had slipped onto his belt earlier. You had hardly wrapped your hand around it than he shoved you back against the beam and grabbed your other wrist. Now you had both your hands pinned next to your head.  

Taehyun licks his lips, breathing heavily but with a grin on his face. "What a crafty little vixen.” 

“What can I say? I much prefer this way of fighting.” You bite your lip before you kiss him again, and this time he falls into it right away, sucking on your bottom lip before he opens his mouth and lets you push your tongue in, his strong body pressing against yours and riling you up. 

“Woah, is this a bad time?” You hear Jaeyun’s voice and Taehyun is off you faster than you can blink.

“Of course not.” He barks unhappily, and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. 

“Uh–we can come back later.” Kai squeaks uncomfortably but shuts down when Taehyun glares at him. 

“No need.” You all stay frozen in your spots and watch him march towards a row of what you know to be blunt swords and pick two up then turn back to Kai and throw one of them at him. “You’re already so late. Let’s spar now.”

What’s his problem? Why is he so upset?

With displeasure, you watch as he transforms back into army general Taehyun in front of your eyes just when you were finally making some progress with him.

Fucking Jaeyun. 

You feel eyes on you and look up to see Kai staring at you with an apologetic look and a blush on his face. You blush too, just now fully realizing that he’s caught you and his brother kissing heatedly. 

Seems like both the brothers have a penchant for catching you in compromising positions. 

“Ready?” Taehyun asks, readying his sword, and Kai looks away from you and draws his own sword. “Yes.” 

“You call it, my lady.” Taehyun requests. 

Grumpily, you step away from the beam, trying to ignore the wetness between your legs as you move closer to the two brothers. Taking a deep breath, you raise your hand then drop it, shouting, “Fight.” 

Immediately, the clang of swords fills the area, and you’re suddenly acutely aware that they’re wielding real weapons, even if blunt, unlike the wooden dagger you were practicing with. Your heart beats erratically as you watch the fight unfold. Kai is larger and stronger but Taehyun is more agile and precise. He uses Kai’s large body mass to deliver more hits, while using his own smaller size to dodge Kai’s clumsy swings. 

The fight is clearly unbalanced, almost as much as yours had been. Taehyun is evidently the superior swordsman, while Kai struggles greatly to defend himself, let alone land a hit on Taehyun. 

You realize that Taehyun had actually been rather gentle with you now that you see the brutal hits he delivers to his own brother, whether that be by sword or using shoves and kicks. Kai can barely stand up before Taehyun knocks him back down, each hit delivered with a scathing instruction or remark about how he’s not blocking the hits right or how he’s swinging incorrectly or how he’s not using his body well. 

"Honestly, all that height and strength is wasted on you." Taehyun disparages as he yet again strikes the blunt sword against Kai’s abdomen, knocking the wind out of him and driving him to his knees in pain. He scoffs, turning his back to his brother and walking away to catch his breath–not because Kai gave him any actual trouble, but because he’s so brutal with his hits that he tires himself out–leaving Kai to struggle to get back on his feet.

You look to Jaeyun, concerned about how rough Taehyun is being. “Should we stop them?” 

But Jaeyun just shrugs. “That’s how their fights usually go. Taehyun is convinced that if he’s tough enough on Kai, that he’d get better, but he never does. Kai is just not a fighter.” 

Not satisfied with Jaeyun’s complacent attitude, you walk towards Taehyun with a determined frown. Pulling out a handkerchief, you use it to pat the sweat from Taehyun’s forehead. He closes his eyes and lets you. 

“Kai is really struggling out there.” You venture, and Taehyun opens his eyes again, giving you an unreadable look that makes you nervous, but you push on. “Why don’t you go easy on him a bit?”

“You think an enemy would go easy on him?” 

His words annoy you. It’s so like Taehyun to take everything to its extreme. “No, but he’s not battling enemies right now. He is practicing with his brother, and maybe he’d learn more if you didn’t knock him down every minute.”  

It’s Taehyun’s turn to be annoyed. “I’ve tried going easy on him. I’ve been trying for years. It just makes him slack off.”

“Well, the solution can’t be to beat him up.” You raise your voice, feeling frustrated with Taehyun and worried for his poor brother. You already feel so protective over Kai and you don’t want to see him get hurt because of Taehyun’s stubbornness and militant style. 

"You think you know how to care for my own brother better than I can?” He asks, angry too but his anger has a dangerous edge to it that yours doesn’t possess. “I’ve been taking care of him since before our father passed away. What if something happened to me? He needs to learn how to fend for himself." 

His stubbornness and refusal to entertain any opposing views are uncomfortably reminiscent of Beomgyu, and your mood sours sharply. Suddenly, you don’t want to have this conversation anymore.  

“You’re right. I’m sorry for intruding, my lord. Far be it for me to dare to question you.” You say through gritted teeth.

“Don’t speak that way. Don’t act like I am some kind of tyrant.” 

“Yes, my lord.” You say, intending to anger him more, even if it’s to your own detriment. You see his jaw clench and the gray of his eyes storm over, but you stand your ground. You suppose you’re just as stubborn as they are.

“Hey, hey, don’t fight over me.” Kai wheezes, using his sword as leverage to stand up. But he’s too weakened by the beatdown, causing him to lose his balance and stumble. You quickly rush to hold him up, but when you encircle his waist with your arms, he yelps in pain and you quickly take them away. 

“I’m so sorry!” You squeak, watching him wobble but not knowing how to help him without hurting him. Thankfully, he manages to keep himself up and he gives you a pained smile. “It’s okay. I’m okay. I just don’t want you to fight.” 

“We’re not fighting.” You say tightly, giving Taehyun a pointed look before looking back at Kai with concern. “But what about you? You don’t look like you can keep going.” 

“Oh me? I’m fine.” He brushes you off unconvincingly, standing up straight and holding his sword out but you can see the wince on his face and the way his sword hand shakes. 

You were just about to call his bluff, when Taehyun speaks up. “We’re done for today.” 

“We are?” Kai asks in surprise. 

“Yes. You can take a rest.” He gives you an unreadable look before turning on his heel and walking off. 

“Wow, did you actually get Taehyun to cut the training short?” Jaeyun exclaims, “That’s amazing.” 

“That’s cutting it short?” You deride. 

“Believe it or not, yes. Normally, I’d have to be helped back to my room.” Kai laughs.

“That’s not funny.” You shut him down, concerned. “Why is he treating you so harshly?”  

“He’s just trying to look out for me.” He explains, and you open your mouth to protest but he continues. “Like he said, he’s been taking care of me since we were children. He was even the one to protect me from our father who was much harsher than Taehyun is.”

You look at him inquisitively, waiting for him to elaborate. You’ve never heard much about their father and you really want to know more. Maybe it would help you unravel the enigma that Taehyun is currently to you. “Really? Was he that bad?” 

“Oh, he was worse.” Kai chuckles breathlessly and limps towards a bench so he can sit down. You follow him and take a seat beside him. “Taehyun is downright soft next to him. He was a cruel and short-tempered man. You wouldn’t believe the beatings Taehyun had to endure on my behalf because our father thought I was a wimp and a pussy as he so lovingly liked to refer to me.” 

“That horrible! I’m so sorry that you had to go through that.” You gasp, suddenly feeling sorry for both brothers despite your anger at Taehyun. 

“It’s fine. The bastard’s dead now.” 

You’re shocked to hear the venom is Kai’s voice. You’ve never heard him be anything less than pleasant. 

“You must’ve really hated him, huh?” 

An agreeing scoff is all that he answers you with. He doesn’t seem to like talking about this much, but you can’t let it go just yet. You needed to know more. 

“What about your mother? What did she have to say about all of that?”

“Mother? She died giving birth to me so she didn’t really get the chance to say much about it.” Kai states, his hatred suddenly turning to melancholy. “But Taehyun tells me that she was the most kind and wonderful mother ever. I wish I had met her. He says he wishes so too. I guess that’s why he felt so guilty and like he had to protect me from father. I never got to experience what it’s like to have a loving parent and so as a child, he wanted to take on that role for me.” Kai smiles wistfully, “And he really did. He was such a kind and caring older brother. I got away with so much shit because of him.”

“So what changed?” You don’t mean to come off as rude, but the Taehyun you see now is a far cry from the person Kai is describing so fondly.

He wraps an arm around his bruised midsection, and you patiently wait for him to get his bearings. “He’s still very kind and caring but after our father passed away, Taehyun had to step up and become the lord of the house. It made him realize that someday, he might not be there for me and he wants to make sure that if that ever happens, I’d be able to take care of myself.”

“Oh.” You say dumbly because that’s what you are. You stuck your nose in other people’s business when you knew nothing about them and now you’re the asshole. 

“I don’t want you to take what you’re seeing now as the whole of him. He is good at heart, and he wasn’t always so serious. He actually used to be a very carefree child, but after our mother died and father ceased to have any semblance of supervision over him, he took to beating it out of him bit by bit so that he’d be able to mold him into the ruthless heir he wanted. And then after our father died too, Taehyun had to fully embody that role so father’s men wouldn’t eat him alive, and eventually, lord Taehyun and my brother became inextricable.” Kai heaves a long sigh when he’s done, and turns to smile at you. 

“That’s why I’m glad you’re here. He seems to be softer around you. Look how he stopped the practice just for you. I hope you can bring my brother back to me. Or at the very least, I hope you can make him a little more at peace with himself and with the world. He deserves it after all he’s been through.”

He really does, but what about you? Are you doomed to sacrifice your own happiness to help broken men with parental issues feel better about themselves?  

You have those issues too. Don’t you deserve to be with someone who isn’t so fucked up for a change? 

_____________________________

Damn your bleeding heart. 

You have a world of issues of your own but, after your talk with Kai, you can’t help but feel guilty and stupid for the way you talked to Taehyun.You’ve only been here a few weeks and yet you’re acting just like the spoiled brat Beomgyu has always said you were. 

You can’t help but feel like an apology is in order so you decide to seek Taehyun out and apologize to him. 

He lets you into his study with a gentle voice that clashes a great deal with the ferocious side of him you’ve come to know. As you step in and bear the full weight of his stormy gaze on you, your body crouches feebly, making you feel smaller than you already do and you just stand still in the doorway, all words escaping you. 

“Why don’t you take a seat, my lady?” Taehyun offers, and you rush to do so, grateful he’s given you something to do. But once you’ve sat down, you go back to your fish out of water impersonation. Thankfully, he gives you a prompt, “Not that I don’t so enjoy looking at you, my lady, but is there a reason for your visit?” 

You blush at his unexpected compliment. Every so often, you get glimpses of the Taehyun you met back at the palace and your heart skips a beat but then he says or does something to push you away, sometimes physically. 

“I came to apologize.” You say and he looks at you with muted curiosity. “Kai told me all about your parents and why you’re being so harsh with him. I shouldn’t have been so abrasive when I didn’t know the full story.” 

“And now you do, huh?” He raises an eyebrow at you and you can’t help but feel mocked. “What did he say?” 

You brush off the feeling and relay what Kai said to you. “He explained how your father was always cruel to you, especially after your mother died in childbirth, and how you took the brunt of it to protect him but that after your father died too, you needed to take on his role and become the lord of the house and so you feel like you have to act this way to take care of Kai.” You say all in one breath then pause under the cryptic look he gives you. “But you don’t have to do it alone. I want to help you. I want to be the strong woman you think I can be.”

"I see." Still his expression doesn't betray any emotion as he stares at you. It unnerves you to no end. You're so used to easily reading Beomgyu's expressions that this statuesque manner of Taehyun deeply unsettles you. “Are you ready to prove that?” 

You gulp. “I am.” 

“Good.” His stare softens and he leans back in his chair, allowing you to breathe again. “Next time I go out hunting, why don’t you come along with me? We will have to go over some of the things you need to know before we go, but I expect you to participate fully in the hunt. Is that something you think you can do?” 

Participate fully? That doesn’t sound good. “You mean attempt to kill the animal myself?” 

“Yes. Do you have a problem with that?" He asks, and this time you can sense his tone–reproaching and impatient. You can’t afford to disappoint him anymore. 

You shake your head. "No."

___________________________________

You’ve never gone out hunting before. It was strictly a male sport back at the palace. Not that you ever wanted to join. You never felt that murderous male urge to hunt and kill your own food so you didn’t really care.  

As it turns out, it was worse than you had imagined. 

You could ride well. It's one of the few practical things women were allowed to learn back at the palace. And after your extensive lessons with Jaeyun, you could also shoot your crossbow well enough. But the combination of chasing prey on horseback while trying to shoot it down was new and challenging. 

As the day stretches on, you feel exhausted and sweaty and gross, and frankly you don’t want to be here. For the first time since coming to this cold place, you feel hot, and the insects that swarm around you each time you slow down don’t help. You want to go back to the castle but you don’t want to tell Taehyun that in fear that he’s going to view you as weak or spoiled. You’ve just started proving yourself to him. You can’t take one step forward and two steps back. 

“There.” Taehyun says lowly, spotting a deer from far away and taking off after it. You grit your teeth and kick your horse into motion, following behind him, one hand gripped tightly around the reign of the horse while the other struggles to take aim at the retreating animal. You feel sorry for it, but wish someone would just shoot it down already so you can finally go home and take a bath. But you know no one will, because you’re the one who is supposed to do it. 

You had plenty of chances to get up close to prey animals in this hunt, seeing as you’re quite a skilled rider, but your aim while moving leaves something to be desired. So when you actually manage to land a hit on the deer, you almost can’t believe it.  Your arrow lodges itself in the animal’s hind leg, causing its gallop to falter and forcing it to limp uselessly as you catch up to it. 

“Good job.” You hear Taehyun shout, and he discharges his own arrow that strikes the animal in the abdomen, causing it to stumble to the ground. You slow down your horse as you go up to it, watching it sadly as it cries and bleeds out. 

Taehyun dismounts his horse and walks up to the dying animal to take a look at it before he looks back at you and tells you to join him. Hesitantly, you do, flinching as you get closer to the poor animal. 

What you don’t expect is for Taehyun to hand you the dagger you cut yourself on before, and order you to slit the deer’s throat. 

“W-what?” You sputter, your stomach flipping. 

“Look at it, it’s in pain. You need to end its suffering.” 

You shake your head vehemently and attempt to hand him back the dagger. “So you do it!” 

“I’ve done it countless times. I want you to do it.” 

“Why?”

“I need to know that you’re capable of taking a life if you need to. What use are all the lessons I’m giving you on how to defend yourself if you’re not going to be able to follow through with them? How are you going to possibly kill someone if you can’t even kill this dying animal?” 

Once again, Taehyun turns into the scary lord you heard so much about, and in this moment, you wish for nothing more than to have listened to Beomgyu and Wongyoung and everyone else when they warned you about him. 

“I can’t.” You continue shaking your head, and Taehyun’s expression sours more. “The longer you stand there, the more you prolong its suffering.” 

You cast another glance at the animal, seeing it weep like a small child as it feels the throes of death inch closer to it but not quite being there yet, and it just confirms Taehyun’s words. “But I don’t know how.” 

“I’ll help you.” He walks you to the animal and gets behind you, the both of you kneeling down beside its head. 

“Grab the head and pull it back.” He instructs, and the deer’s cries renew in vigor as you do so. It struggles in your grip but you hold onto it tightly. Taehyun grabs your hand that holds the dagger and brings it close to the animal’s now exposed neck. 

“Okay.” You cry, the ringing in your ear making it hard to hear yourself. 

"Don't cry. You need to be steady or you'll make it suffer needlessly." Taehyun’s voice is stern and devoid of reassurance, but you swallow your cries anyway. You need to do this for the animal. You need to end its suffering and you need to prove yourself to Taehyun.

He guides your hand to the underside of the deer’s neck and presses down as he slices upward, cutting the neck wide open. You’re surprised by how smooth the cut is and how easily the skin and tissues give way under the sharp knife. 

You let go of the deer as the blood gushes from its now slashed neck, but you don’t do it fast enough and some of the blood spurts on your hand, the mild warmth of it burns your skin and you immediately drop the dagger and stand up. But your eyes stay glued onto the deer as it kicks and kicks and breathes its last breaths. 

For what it’s worth, it doesn’t take long for the animal to die after that, and very soon, it stops moving entirely and just lays there in a stillness that forces you to reflect on what you just did. It’s apparent that it was the merciful decision to stop the animal’s suffering, but is it as clear that you had to be the one to do it? 

Taehyun seems to think so but you don’t know if you agree. Beomgyu certainly wouldn’t have exposed you to this but here you are, blood on your hands as you stare down at the animal you slaughtered and a certain warlord whispers in your ear. 

“You did well. I’m proud of you.” 

__________________________________

You cry and you cry that day, your tears falling heavily into the bath until you’re not sure if it’s filled with water or your own tears. 

But eventually the tears stop, and each time you go hunting after that, it gets easier. 

Taehyun is so pleased with your performance that he starts spending more and more time with you, whether that be hunting or sparring or even just having a simple dinner together like you are right now. 

"You look beautiful.” Taehyun ventures, snapping you out of your thoughts, and you look up to see him staring back at you bashfully. “I mean… you're always beautiful, but especially tonight."

You want to take the compliment. You really do, but you can’t make sense of the split personality he seems to have. At least Beomgyu’s actions were always consistent, but Taehyun just leaves you on edge every time you’re around him, wondering which Taehyun you’ll get this time–the cold and unyielding one or sweet and charming one. 

“Hmm.” You reply concomitantly, and he frowns. 

Oh, did you upset him with your unexpected response? Good. Now he knows how you feel. 

In any case, he doesn’t comment on it and just continues as if there was nothing amiss. 

“I have something for you.” He pulls out the dagger he always gives you on your hunts and presents it to you. “This dagger has been in my family for centuries. It bears our sigil and it’s been handed down from father to son for generations.” He explains and your eyes trace over the engraving again. So that’s what that is. “I want you to have it.” 

“What?” You breathe, abandoning your affected nonchalance in the face of such a valuable item. “Oh, I couldn’t!”

“You can. You’ve done such a marvelous job so far.” He praises you so offhandedly, not realizing how much this actually means to you. This is the first time he’s been so outwardly appreciative of your efforts and it’s much more than you’ve ever expected from him, honestly. “Besides, you need it to defend yourself. Keep it on you at all times, okay? I need to know that you’ll be safe.”

You stare at him dumbfoundedly. 

“What?” He asks uncertainly, still holding out the dagger in the air.

"Why are you doing this?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"You!” You shout, feeling like you’re going to go crazy if you don’t get an explanation from him right now. “You act so hot and cold. One moment you treat me like shit and the next you’re giving me a priceless heirloom that is supposed to stay in your family. Why are you doing this?" 

He sighs, understanding dawning on him. "You’re… a very beautiful lady, as I'm sure you’re aware by now with how crazy your prince acted over you and how much he tried to prevent other men from courting you. And well, I am a man as well. Despite how much I try to control myself, I’m still as liable to fall under the spell of a beautiful woman like any other man, and I worry that if I let myself get carried away with you, I might end up making the wrong choice. You’re a very lovely woman. I just need to make sure you’re the right person for me before I let myself get swept away."

“Oh.” Never in a million years did you think that that would be the explanation for his contradictory behavior around you. 

“That’s why I was such an asshole that day with Kai. I was angry at myself for almost slipping.” 

So one man you romanced was too obsessed with touching you that he raped you and the other is too scared to even come near you? Wonderful.

“But you can’t just ignore me or lash out at me because you think you can’t control yourself around me! I abandoned everything, the life I’ve always known, to come here with you because you promised you’ll be there for me!”

“I know and I am!” He insists earnestly, “I am here for you and I promise to be better, but it would really help if you would prove to me once and for all that you've got what I'm looking for. Then I can let go, knowing I won’t regret it." 

That pisses you off. “I’ve done nothing but bend over backwards to prove myself to you. What else could I possibly do for you to finally trust me?” 

He winces, finally seeming to feel bad for what he’s making you go through. He thinks about it for a bit then says, “You can come to court with me, see how I deal with my subjects and then you’ll get a feel of what kind of man I really am and whether I am someone you want or not, and I’ll get to see how you act in a stressful situations where you need to make a judgment and I’ll make my own decision. What do you say?” 

"Fine." You cross your arms over your chest. 

“Are you going to take this?” He asks, offering you the dagger again, and you snatch it out of his hands, huffing. 

Just then, a knock comes at the door. 

“Come in.” Taehyun speaks up, but doesn’t take his eyes off you.

A guard steps in, bowing. "Greetings, my lord.” 

“What do you want?”

“Someone is here to see the lady." 

_______________________________________

It’s been so long since you’d last seen your parents. You used to wish that when you’d meet them again, you’d be able to look at them with a sense of pride and accomplishment at having secured a marriage that would make them pleased. 

But now, as they stand in front of you, all you can regard them with is blame and contempt. Even more so as they reveal that they’re here to convince you to go back to Beomgyu. 

“He’s threatening to take your father’s business down if we can’t get you to go back to him!” Your mother exclaims as if she can’t understand how you could possibly refuse. 

“Seeing as to how you prostituted me out for that business, I can’t say that I have it in me to care much, mother.” You shoot back poisonously, but she laughs. 

“Prostituted you? Please! You were practically throwing yourself at him. I’m sure you would’ve spread your legs for him even if we never had that deal with his father.” 

“Heejin!” You father hisses in warning at the same time that Taehyun steps forward, fury dancing in his eyes, but you quickly hold your hand out to stop him.

“Oh, I see what’s going on.” Your mother says derisively, shooting a glare at Taehyun. “You found another man to ensnare with your cunt.”  

“Will you shut your mouth, you dreadful witch!” Your father screams, and Taehyun gives you a frustrated look. 

“Do you want me to throw them in the cells?” 

“I can handle this.” You insist, and Taehyun reluctantly gives in. As a powerful lord of his own city, he must not be used to just standing there helplessly, but you appreciate his respect for your wishes.  “If that’s what you want, my lady.” 

You turn back to your parents, hatred and disgust filling your veins, the likes of which you’d never felt before. It is one thing for Beomgyu to take advantage of you, but it is another thing entirely for your own flesh and blood to not only sell you out, but to stand here and shame you for the situation they put you in, a situation they benefited from so much that they’re here to try to force you back into it. 

Beomgyu is right. He’s the only one who really cared about you. If it wasn’t for him, you’re sure your family would’ve sold you to a worser fate. 

“You better get the fuck out of here before I let him get his hands on you.” You threaten, and your mother gasps and turns to your father. “Are you going to let her talk to us that way?” 

Your father gives you a pleading look. “Don’t do this, honey. You don’t know what that boy is capable of. He’s not going to rest until he gets you back at any cost.”

“Oh, is that concern I hear, father? Where was that when the prince physically imprisoned me at the palace and forced himself on me? That’s right, you were back at home enjoying the money he gave you for it, but now that I’m out of his clutches, you want to act fucking concerned?!” You scream so loudly your throat burns. 

You don’t realize how angry and bitter you are with your parents until they’re standing right in front of you. Suddenly all the things you were made to go through because they couldn’t act like real fucking parents and protect you come surging forward and make you want to hurt them. But you won’t. Because you’re better than them. 

“Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. My. Face.” 

“But the money–” 

You bark out a bitter laugh. “Don’t worry, mother, I will write to the dear prince and beg him not to cut you off.”

“Oh, sweetheart–”

“But not for you.” You spit at your father, “You can rot in hell for all I care. It’s for my siblings. They don’t deserve to suffer because of what you’ve done to me.” 

“Thank you. Thank you–” 

“Throw them out, please.” You turn to Taehyun, and he gestures to his guards to follow your command. 

Once your parents are out of your sight, you break down. Every single hateful emotion that’s been fueling your body flushing out at once and getting replaced with a sadness so deep and crushing that you fear it will swallow you whole. 

Your sobs echo around the room. You’re so caught up in it that you jump when you feel someone’s arms around you, and you look up in shock to see that it’s Taehyun. 

You laugh feebly. "I know. I'm so weak, right?"

He frowns and shakes his head forcefully. "No! You’re not weak. In fact, you’re so incredibly strong. You had the guts to confront your parents about what they’ve done to you and didn’t let them shame or guilt you into bowing to their twisted wishes, but you also didn’t let your anger at them hurt your siblings. That takes so much strength and goodness of heart. You’re honestly incredible." He breathes in awe, brushing your tears off. 

“Thank you.” You feel at a loss for words. You never expected this from Taehyun. His words alone give you the push you need to fight back against that overwhelming sadness and force it back behind its gates.

Later that day, you send out your first and hopefully last letter to Beomgyu, beseeching him not to cut off your family and advising him that he’s sorely mistaken if he thinks this is the way he’s going to get you back.

You know that this won’t be the end of it. It can’t be. But when his reply comes back, you feel a chill run down your spine. 

You’re right. This is not the way. I was just hoping that you would agree and wouldn't force me to do something extreme. But have it your way, my princess. Just know, I will get you back. 

___________________________________

What you learn from attending Taehyun’s court is that he has a very strict and rigid moral and penal code. He doesn’t make allowances for anybody, no matter their circumstances or how much they beg. You suppose, more than anything, that this is where the rumors about his merciless persona come from.  

It is never more apparent than in the case of the man kneeling in front of you right now, convicted of killing his daughter’s supposed murderer, her husband. 

“He killed her! I know he did! She was my only child.” The old man wails, “How can you sentence me to death for avenging my own flesh and blood?” 

“It’s not up to you to avenge her. You should’ve come to the court and presented your case and if it was true, I would’ve executed him myself, but you took the law into your hand and became a murderer yourself, and the punishment for that is death.” 

Your gasp is muffled under the wails of the man’s wife and the rejoicing of the dead husband's family. The wife tries to push past the guards who are taking the suspect away, shouting and screaming for mercy. 

“Please, my lord, mercy.” She cries out, “I have no one but him. My dear daughter is dead. You can’t take him away too!” 

“He sealed his own fate, mother.” Taehyun's cold reply offers no reprieve for the poor crone. 

“Curse you.” She shouts, spitting in the direction of Taehyun. 

The guards are immediately shoving her out of the room as she shouts out for her husband and he cries back in grief. “Damn you. Damn you to hell!” 

Why is Taehyun doing this? How is this the same man who could be so incredibly sweet to you? You can’t fathom how such kindness and such irredeemable inhumanity can exist in the same person, and you can’t bear to watch it anymore. You’ve only just started to fall for him. You can’t handle seeing him act so cruelly, and so you run out of the courtroom, not sparing a glance at the emotionless lord seated at the head of the room.

When your escape winds you up at a ledge overlooking the sea, you let the wind flow freely in and out of your lungs in large gasps, taking out some of your anxiety and replacing it with the salty air.   

Is this really the man you might end up with? This cold and unfeeling lord? You feel like you’ve run from the arms of one cruel man right into those of another. If Beomgyu is a deadly siren then Taehyun is the vicious sea. 

Again, you wonder what Beomgyu would’ve done in that situation. Would he have so easily doomed a vengeful father to death or would he have pardoned him? You don’t know but you know he would’ve never subjected you to any of it. You were so sheltered with Beomgyu but Taehyun seems to revel in throwing you to the wolves just to see if you would survive. 

It feels so cold without you, Beomgyu. 

You don’t know how long you just stand there in the cold breeze, letting it chill your bones as you watch the waves crash endlessly onto the shore, but eventually, you see a figure coming your way from the periphery of your vision, and then you feel just a little bit less cold as a coat is draped around your shoulders. 

“How long have you been out here? You’re shaking.” Taehyun takes note of your current miserable state, but you don’t have time for his lukewarm attempts at kindness. 

“Why are you here?” 

Taehyun sighs and takes his hands off you. “I wanted to see where you’d run off too. It’s rude to leave before the lord of the house, you know?” 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t stomach your casual cruelty.” You sneer. 

“You think that was cruel?” 

“Yes.” You reply as if it was a stupid question. “This isn’t some animal you’re slaughtering out in the woods. How can you take a life so easily?”

“I never take a life easily.” He states firmly, a hint of anger and a ton of indignation slipping into his voice. “I consider everything before I do and make sure it’s the right decision. I even carry out all the executions I order myself so I would never sentence a man to death unless I was absolutely sure he deserves it.”  

You turn on him, “How can you say that he deserves it? That man was avenging his daughter. What does it matter whether you kill the husband or he does?”

“How are you so sure it’s the husband?” He counters, turning to face you too. “That dead man never got the chance to defend himself. Maybe he didn’t do it. It could’ve been someone else. It could’ve been that grieving father himself for all we know. He could've been setting up his son in law because the dead can’t talk. Have you thought about that? Have you thought that he might just be lying?”

“He didn’t look like he was lying.” You protest lamely, and Taehyun snorts. “And what do you know of lying? Your whole life you’ve been lied to and you never saw it. Your prince lied to you. Your friend lied to you. Even your family lied to you.” 

You bristle at the fact that he’s using what happened to you against you. Well, if that’s how he wants to go about this, then you can hit back in kind. “And you’re acting just like that prince you hate so much. Neither of you can face the fact that you could possibly be wrong about something. That man could’ve been lying but he could’ve been telling the truth. How would you feel if you were in his position and someone murdered your loved one and you couldn’t do anything about it? You’re trying so hard to fill your father’s shoes that you forgot what it’s like to have some fucking empathy for other people.”

He moves closer to you and grabs you by the arms and you suddenly realize how high up you are right now. He could so easily push you off this ledge and you’d fall to your death on the jagged rocks below. 

“Don’t fucking compare me to my father.” He growls, “I don’t know what it’s like? You think you know so much, huh? You think you have it all figured out? Do you want to know how my mother really died?” 

You falter. What does he mean by how she really died? “Kai said she died in childbirth.” 

“No. That was a lie. I lied to Kai about it.” He mocks, “My mother was killed by my father.”  

“What?” 

“You want to know why I am the way that I am? It’s because I learned from a young age that without having a strong and just legal system in place, people would be free to commit whatever crimes they wanted without any retribution. I know that because my father killed my mother and everyone in court knew about it, but no one did anything because he paid them all off. Even the fucking lawmen and the priests knew!” He screams in your face, looking the most emotional you’ve ever seen him. You must’ve really hurt him. 

“I tried to kill him but I couldn’t so I tried to gather men who would help me take him to trial but no one would go against my father. They told him of my plans and he threatened to kill me. I couldn't die and leave Kai alone with him so I bided my time until he died then I confiscated the lands of everyone who helped him and hired new men, that's why I'm hated so much in court but I don’t care. I made sure to form a strong legal system overseen by myself that would punish anyone who would commit such a crime so no one would have to go through what I went through. That’s why it’s important for me to uphold the law even when it makes me seem like a monster. So don’t fucking tell me that I don’t know what it feels like, but that doesn’t mean that I will allow people to take the law into their own hands and just start killing other people without any accountability!”  

It’s quiet for a moment, the both of you just glaring at each other as the sea air carries away his indignant breaths. 

You feel sorry for him, you really do. You have plenty of experience with feeling helpless and victimized, so you don’t begrudge him his anger, but that doesn’t mean that you’ll give him a pass for it. 

"And are you satisfied with what you've done?” You ask scornfully, “At least that man is going to his death knowing he avenged the one he loved. He will go to his grave a content man while you will have to live the rest of your life with the fact that your father got to live a long life without facing any punishment for what he did to your mother." Your words make him pale as they hit him, and his grip loosens around you so you take the opportunity to push his hands off you. 

"Would you have sentenced Kai to death if he had killed your father?” You challenge, but he stays silent. Scoffing, you take off the coat he gave you and shove it against his chest. “If this is what your justice entails, letting a killer live while sentencing a father to death for avenging his daughter, then I don’t want it."

___________________________________________

You don't see Taehyun for a few days after that and you wonder if you’ve finally taken things too far and he doesn’t want you anymore. That’s fine, you can’t live with a man who is so cruel anyway. You know you were a bit cruel with your words yourself, but he needed to hear it.

You still attend your training with Jaeyun and Kai because you have nothing else to do, and if you’re left to your thoughts of what might actually happen to you if he kicks you out of the castle,  then you might lose it.  It’s not that you enjoy your time here, far from it, but you have nowhere else to go other than back to Beomgyu. 

And maybe you should. So far, he’s been right about a lot of things, and it would be so much easier to just give into him, to let him take you into his arms and shower you with the kind of smothering love that only he could give. He wouldn’t make you work for it either. To him, you’re enough as you are and he wants every bit of you. 

Just as you’ve almost given into Beomgyu’s song, Taehyun comes to you, crashing through the enchantment.

“Why are you here?”  You look at him with narrowed eyes.  Given your position, you should probably be nicer to him. You’ve seen what he’s capable of. He takes lives so easily, but you’re stubborn and just as staunch about your own morals. You’re not going to suck up to him even if your future depended on it. 

But Taehyun doesn’t seem bothered by your rudeness. He just smiles knowingly at you. "I want you to join me at dinner tonight." 

"I don't want to go anywhere with you." You turn your head away from him contemptuously. He can’t just come up to you and act all innocent after what he’s done. 

Taehyun isn’t the least bit daunted by your outwardly disdain for him. He moves around so he’s in your field of vision again and you see that he still has that damned smile on his face. 

"I didn't sentence that man to death." He informs you and you straighten up immediately, eyes widening. “What?”

"I thought about what you said. You’re right, it does eat away at me. Every night I see that man’s–that monster’s face and dream that I would’ve killed him.” He snarls, looking down at his hands, and you suppose he’s imagining even now. He sighs and shakes his head, looking up at you. “I investigated the matter of the daughter’s death. Turns out the husband really did murder her so I let the old man go.”

You stare at him in shock. 

“Of course, I couldn’t let him go back to his home or else everyone will think they can just enact their own form of vigilante justice whenever they please, and that is still something I am staunchly against. So I sent him and his wife away to another city.” Once again he sighs, “I don’t know if that was the right choice or not. Part of me thinks it’s the right thing, that I spared a grieving father’s life, but the other part is asking me what the hell I’m doing and why am I even listening to you when this is the way I’ve been doing things for so long." He shrugs and doesn't meet your eyes. “I guess what you said about if Kai had done a similar thing, would I have sentenced him to death as well, really got to me.”

He’s still not looking at you, seeming at war with himself just like he’s describing. So you take it upon yourself to jump up, beaming, and grab him, kissing him. 

You can tell he’s surprised by the sudden kiss but he doesn’t take long to reciprocate it, sighing against your lips as if he really needed the reassurance and gentle touch. Kai’s words about how they never really got to experience the love of a parent springs to mind. Their mother died when Taehyun was just a kid too. He had to live under the tyranny of his father, and even when the man passed away, Taehyun had to step up and fill his shoes. He didn’t get the chance to experience much love in his tumultuous life, but he’s done so much for you already, and maybe you can repay him in time. 

With that in mind, you deepen the kiss, not pushing for anything sexual but just allowing him to feel how proud you are with what he’s done, and when you pull back, you cup his face in your hands and whisper to him, “I know that was very hard to do, but thank you for listening to me and considering my words.”

“It was hard not to when you were shouting them at me.” He grins, “I have to say I’m not used to that. People are usually too scared of me to oppose me, let alone fight me on my decisions.” 

“Oh believe me, I was fucking terrified.” You laugh. 

“But you still spoke your mind. I thought that I wanted someone like me to rule beside me, but you’re not only strong but brave. You always call me out on my shit even if I terrify you.” He laughs warmly and you bask in the sweetness of it. He has such a melodic laugh. “You’re even more amazing than what I wanted.” 

You don’t know what to say. You’re not used to such praise from Taehyun, and it leaves you flustered. So you settle on just showing him how happy you are by kissing him again. You know he’s not a man of many words and you hope he can feel how appreciative you are through this. You think he can, as you feel him smile against your lips. 

This time you can’t help but let it turn sensual. It’s been so long since you’ve been touched, and you’ve been getting so needy. 

“I want you my lord.” You pull away to whisper seductively. 

“I want you too.” He breathes through gritted teeth, jaw clenched as he tries to hold back. “But that can wait until after the wedding.”

Suddenly, all the haze of lust flees from your brain and you step back. “Wedding?” You croak. 

“Yes. You’ve more than proven yourself to me. I’m ready to take you as my wife.” 

You feel your body breakout in a cold sweat. "So soon?" 

"It's not soon. You've been here for months. It is why you're here in the first place, isn’t it?" Taehyun frowns at you in suspicion. He must be puzzled by your strange reaction. You’re puzzled too.

“I suppose.” You gulp. You don’t know why you’re so freaked out over this. This is what you’ve always wanted, isn’t it? To marry a rich and powerful man who would take care of you and respect you, and that’s Taehyun. So why are you having second thoughts now? 

You know why. You know perfectly well why, and Taehyun seems to know it too,

“Do you still want him?” 

“No…” Your denial sounds pathetic even to your own ears. 

“Look, if you want to go back to him, I’m not going to stop you.” 

“I don’t–”

“If you don’t want to go back to him but still don’t want to marry me, then I’m not going to force you to go either. You can stay here under my protection and I am sure that I can even arrange a good marriage for you.” 

“Wow, that’s romantic.” You mutter to yourself. You honestly don’t expect him to get angry because of it, not when his attitude is so painfully nonchalant. 

“I don’t know what you want me to say?” He asks, exasperated. “I’m trying too! I keep making compromises for you, but if you don’t want me then I’m not going to force you to be with me. So just tell me what do you want?” 

I want you to love me? I want you to care? What did love get you anyway? Haven't you had enough of being pathetic for one man? 

"Do you love me, Taehyun?"

That catches him off guard. He obviously wasn’t expecting this question, and he stares at you blankly. "What does love have to do with it?"

"Nothing."  You smile at him bitterly. “Just give me some time to think, will you?” 

If this was Beomgyu, he wouldn’t have accepted that. He would’ve insisted on knowing exactly what is going through your mind. He would've tried to wiggle his way into staying. But Taehyun is not Beomgyu. And he doesn’t push for answers you don't readily give. 

“Okay.” He concedes, kissing the top of your head. “Have a good night, my lady.” 

___________________________________________

A good night is far from what you have. You toss and turn in bed, plagued by a million emotions spurred on by Taehyun’s proposal, until you fall into a restless sleep that gives you no reprieve, only for you to wake up a couple of hours later.

You open your bleary eyes and look out to see the pitch blackness of the night outside. You suppose you’re just having one of the regular midnight disturbances you’ve been experiencing since you came here, and you almost close your eyes again to attempt to go back to sleep when you feel someone’s arms move over your body and their lips kissing along your neck. 

You’re still confused from sleep but it feels nice, and your grogginess, coupled with the feeling of their soft lips on the sensitive skin of your neck and their big hands kneading your breasts through your nightgown, leave you heated in no time. 

This must be Taehyun. He must've changed his mind. You moan, arching back into him, your ass getting pressed against his hard member. 

His hands and mouth falter for a second before he doubles his effort, his hands now groping at your chest roughly and his mouth sucking a bruising kiss into your skin. 

“Taehyun!” You gasp when his fingers pull at your nipples. His teeth sink into the crook of your neck, the sharp pain somehow sending a shooting sense of pleasure to your pussy. 

“Not Taehyun.” The man behind you growls and you immediately freeze. No. It can’t be…

"B-Beomgyu?" You shudder, your teeth almost clanging together from how terrified you were. How did he manage to get into Taehyun’s fortress-like castle? 

“That’s right, princess. I told you I’d come for you. I'll always find you.” He murmurs sweetly into your ear as if he’s oblivious to your current state of terror. “How could you think it was him? Do you let him touch you like this?” 

“N-No.” You deny weakly, even though it’s the truth. Taehyun never touched you this way, but maybe the lack of conviction in your answer is due to the guilt in knowing you would’ve let him if he wanted to. 

“I don’t believe you. You were so pliant in my hands when you thought I was him and now you’re all rigid. Are you so used to him crawling into your bed that you so readily present yourself to him?” He asks, his hips pointedly driving into your ass that was still arched against him. 

“No…” 

“So you want me to believe that he didn’t lay a finger on these tits?” He goes back to growling, squeezing your breasts in his hands. 

“No.” You repeat with more conviction now. 

He hums, sounding a bit placated now, and one of his hands makes its way between your legs, making you inhale sharply as his fingers find your embarrassingly wet pussy. “What about this? Is this for me or for him?” He asks, rubbing your pussy through the soaked fabric of your underwear. 

“You, Beomgyu.” You mewl, the small amount of pleasure leaving you overwhelmed after weeks of being deprived of him and not receiving any attention from Taehyun. 

“That’s my good princess.” He praises, pushing your underwear to the side and pressing two fingers inside of you at once. You’re still not used to the intrusion as you’ve never had anything inside you apart from that night, but somehow you don’t feel any pain, only a burning sense of pleasure that leaves you feverish as he pumps his fingers in and out of you. 

“Beomgyu…ah… p-please.” You pathetically beg, needing more. 

“What do you want, princess?” 

“I want y-you…inside m-me.” You choke, rutting your ass back into him, trying to get him riled up so he’d take you. 

God, you need him. You missed him so much. You’ve been through so much shit in this horrid place. You need a sense of familiarity. You need to feel safe and protected again. You need to feel him around you, inside you. “I need you.”

“That’s all I wanted to hear, princess.” He takes his fingers out of you and you sob. “Shh, dumb baby. I’ll take care of you, don’t worry.” 

You hear him hurriedly push his pants down over his cock and grab your top leg up to bend it up, exposing your pussy to him. You feel the head of his cock against your entrance and hold your breath, preparing for the painful stretch as he eases in. With one smooth motion, he slides in, quieting your sobs. 

Once again, you marvel at how you feel none of the pain you felt the last time he took you, but you can’t dwell on it for long because he pulls back then snaps his hips forward, fucking the thoughts right out of you brain. 

"Does that feel nice, princess?"

“Mhhh.” You barely muster, your every nerve ending burning up. You love how he can make your mind go silent. 

"Look at me." 

You turn to look at him and your heart skips several beats as his pretty face comes into view. His features are so delicately beautiful. You can't help but kiss him. 

Unlike Taehyun, he's insistent, pushing his tongue into your mouth and hungrily exploring it. He only pulls back when you’re both breathless. 

"I missed you so much." He professes, the tender words sounding absurd over the lewd sound of sex that fills the room. "He's not giving it to you like you need, is he, baby?" 

“No.” You answer in a small voice. 

“Of course he’s not. Because you’re not his. You’re mine.” He asserts, his thrusts growing in harshness. "You can't hide from me. I know you miss me. I know you want to come back to me. That’s okay. It’s because you’re mine and you know it. I know what you really want. Isn’t that right, baby?” His hand goes back to your pussy, doubling your pleasure.

You sob. “Yes.”

"Yes. You’re mine. So why the hell are you thinking about marrying him?”

Guilt floods your body and you stutter, “I–I just need–” 

“What you need is to come back and let me take care of you. You think he’ll make you happy? No one can make my princess happier than I can.  Come back and I’ll never let you go again. You’ll never be able to run away from me again. I’ll make sure of it.” His grip on your thigh turns bruising as he utters those alarming words. 

“Wh–what do you mean?” You ask, throat going dry. 

“I was wrong in the past. I took you against your will and you hated me for it. I treated you well and you tricked me. Both times I didn’t go far enough. But now I know what I need to do.” He says ominously and your stomach churns. “You think your lord will still want you if you were carrying another man’s child?” 

You try to scream but it gets strangled in your throat. You try to squirm away but you can’t move a single muscle. You’re trapped in your own body by a mysterious force and you can do nothing but sit there and take whatever he has to give you.

“You’re being such a good princess. You’re going to make me cum.” He coos softly, but his thrusts turn brutal. You can’t feel your legs as they go numb but your pussy continues to throb with need despite the horrific situation. “Going to make you mine forever. Are you ready?” 

Yes.

You shoot up in bed, sweaty and panting. You look around frantically but find no sign of Beomgyu or Taehyun anywhere in your room. 

It was a nightmare. It was just a nightmare. So why do you feel this gaping sense of loss at the center of your heart?

Your whole body shivers in a sudden gust of chill and you glance at the window, only to find it closed. You look around your room, finding it still entirely foreign to you. Everything is awash with a chilly gray, the same color of the lord of the castle’s eyes and just as cold. 

You can’t stand being in this room anymore. You get up from the bed, feeling the perpetually damp floor beneath your feet before you put your slippers on and hurriedly grab a coat and throw it around your shivering body, clutching it tightly as you pad across the room and out the door. 

It’s even colder outside, the wind almost throwing you out of the open arches each time you pass one as you wander around aimlessly, feeling like a specter in an abandoned castle for how empty and desolate it looks at night.

You come to a pause in front of one of the arches, looking out to the sea. It's the exact same sea you’ve loved but it feels so different without Beomgyu. It's cold and dark and unfathomable and it scares you. You wrap your arms around yourself, feeling for the dagger that you now always have hidden under your clothes to make yourself feel just a little bit safer. 

But something warm suddenly envelops you–a tune that seems to be coming from somewhere nearby. Curious, you follow it like a moth to flame, hoping to be greeted by a warm glow. It leads you to a room with huge doors that are cracked open. You’ve never seen this room before, and you cautiously peer inside to discover the source of the music, finding Kai playing the harp alone inside. 

Awed, you stand there for a bit, just listening and letting the sweet melody soothe your chilled bones. He looks lovely as he plays, his hands moving gracefully over the strings, his concentrated features reflecting the glow of the lantern nearby, making him look like an angel. And you wonder how it is possible that he could ever be related to the stern lord of this castle? 

His heavenly features and celestial music pull you in, forming a honey like barrier between you and the cold sea outside, and you find yourself inching your way into the room to get closer to them. But you still keep your cover, opting to just observe him secretly and marvel at the beauty of the music he weaves with the strings. It’s beautiful in a sad way–the way a caged songbird sings, and you stand there listening to the sorrowful elegance of it until it stops. 

“That was gorgeous.” You gush, making him jump in shock, so unaware of his surroundings, unlike his older brother. “Oh. I’m sorry I scared you.” 

“That’s okay.” He puts a hand to his chest and sighs in relief to see that it’s just you. “And thank you. I didn’t realize you were there. Why are you still up?”

You shrug, moving further into the room to take a seat beside him. 

 “Can’t sleep?” He prompts and you groan. “No. It’s cold and miserable and I feel like a vengeful sea spirit is gonna murder me in my sleep.” You say looking around and shuddering. Then you look back at him. “No offense.” 

He laughs. “None taken. Our home isn’t exactly the plushy palace you’re used to.” 

“It isn’t.” You say simply. “I didn’t know you played.” 

“Oh, I do. I’ve been playing since I was a kid, actually. It’s a point of contention between me and Taehyun. He wants me quit and focus on practicing sword fighting or archery or whatever but all I want to do is play. He thinks I can just give this up like he did.” 

Now that surprises you. “Taehyun used to play?” 

“Sure. But more importantly, he used to sing.” He says then laughs at your stunned expression, “Don’t look so surprised. I told you he was a lot more carefree back then…but of course, he stopped because of father.” He adds on sadly, “I haven’t heard him sing in years. He used to sing me to sleep when we were kids. Never slept better." He smiles as he remembers. 

You would've never guessed that Taehyun used to sing. You wonder what he sounds like. You wonder if he'll ever sing for you.

Well, if you reject his proposal then you highly doubt he would. 

“He asked me to marry him.” 

Now it’s Kai’s turn to be shocked. Actually, the flurry of emotions that pass over his face is disorienting and hard to keep track of, but it eventually settles into a cryptic one that so reminds of his brother. 

“And what did you say?” 

“I said I’ll have to think about it.” You say, trying to get a read on him, and when that fails, you just choose to be direct, “You don’t seem that pleased. I thought you wanted me and Taehyun to be together.” 

“I do!” He insists, switching back into the flustered Kai you know so well. “Like I predicted, you’re very good for him. He’s been much better since you arrived…” 

“But?” You prompt and he looks away guiltily. “But I’m worried about your prince. I’ve sort of been asking around about him ever since you came here and well, none of what I heard back is reassuring. He seems unstable and pissed off and I worry what he might do to my brother if he were to marry you.” 

You don’t say anything. You just sit there quietly and absorb his words. Ever since you came here, you’ve been stressing over Beomgyu and what he might do, especially when he’s not been shy about making threats. But Taehyun has always dismissed your concerns and assured you that he won’t be able to actually do anything. So to hear his brother tell you how scared he is just makes your fears seem real again. 

“That’s incredibly selfish of me, isn’t it? I mean, here you are having finally escaped from him but all I can think about is what he might do if you don’t go back.” 

“It’s not selfish.” You reassure him, even if his words have hurt you. “He’s your brother. He’s the only family you have left. You have the right to worry about him.” 

“But still… he seems to be happy with you. It’s what I wanted, and I need to trust that he can take care of himself and you.” He fiddles with his harp, plucking stray notes here and there. “I’ll get over it, you’ll see. I’ll be the best brother in law anyone has ever had.” He looks up, giving you a half smile, and you give him a small smile back, appreciating the effort he’s putting in for you. 

A silence falls over the both of you, and you fall into your thoughts again. You’ve been so worried about yourself and Beomgyu this whole time that you never really considered that Taehyun might be in danger because of you. Even if you decide to marry him, should you? Would Beomgyu really attempt to make good on his promise to kill him? 

Beomgyu has never hurt anyone before but who knows what he's capable of. You never thought he'd hurt you either but he did despite claiming he loves you the most in the world. If he's willing to hurt you to have you, would he be willing to kill someone to get you back?

“Do you miss him?” Kai asks, snapping you out of your inner turmoil. 

“Who?” You ask, already knowing. 

But Kai’s reply is patient. “The prince.” 

“Would you look down on me if I said yes?” 

"No.” He answers honestly and you breathe a sigh of relief. “You've known him all your life and you've loved him for almost as long. It can't be easy to forget all that." 

"It might've been easier if your brother wasn’t so cold with me most of the time." 

"He can be hard to love." 

You snort. “You can say that again.” 

“But he is good at heart. He may be harsh but that’s just because he never wants to lie to you or deceive you.” 

“I know and that's all good and well but it's not exactly what a woman looks for in a husband. I wanted someone who would actually love me.” You fiddle with your nails, feeling stupid saying it even to Kai who has been nothing but understanding ever since you’ve met him. 

"He cares for you a lot."

"That makes me feel so special." You reply sarcastically. 

"It's just hard for him to love after all he’s been through but I think he’s getting there with you. He risked so much for you. He wouldn't have done that if he didn't feel anything for you."

“You're right.” You chew on your lip, seeing the truth in his words. "Then again, knowing how righteous your brother is, he probably would have rescued me anyway."

You both laugh halfheartedly at your joke, but it quickly passes and it becomes silent again.

 “I should go. I have a lot to think about.”

“You do. Good luck.” Kai smiles and bids you goodbye. 

You walk back to your room in a daze, not really paying attention to where you’re going or anything around you, your mind just swirling with questions that you don’t have an answer for.  

Maybe if you had been paying attention, you might’ve noticed the man creeping up on you before he got the chance to grab you. But by the time you realize the dire situation you’re in, he already has one arm around you and a hand clamped over your mouth so you wouldn’t scream. 

“I’m so sorry, my lady.”  He whispers to you in a low, but familiar voice. 

Jaeyun. 

______________________________

A/N: God this chapter kicked my ass. Literally was like giving labor. Anyway, what do think of taehyun now that we’ve gotten a better look at his unique brand of fucked upness? What are your thoughts for the future? 

Oh and the poem highlighted here was written by the lovely @smuchsmut with some edits from me so if you don’t like something about it that was probably my doing lmao. Thank you so much babe ❤️

[callsign-phoenix]

This is part four to this Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd x female!reader fic, I hope you like it!

Thank you @footprintsinthesxnd for proofreading!

Warnings: self doubt, brief mentions of trauma

My darling wife,

it’s been just a day of not seeing you, but I’m already missing you.

To say that our time together was divine would be an understatement.

I could not say that I have ever met a person as perfect as you are, it seems like we are made for each other.

I can already say with certainty that you will be the first, foremost and last thought on my mind every single day, and I am as always so proud to call you mine.

I love you more than I ever thought possible, and missing you already more than I thought I could as well.

I can’t stress enough how beautiful our and Jess and Eugene’s simultaneous elopement was and will continue to relive it every day in my mind, instead of my daily prayers.

My fellow pilots here are nice and they’ve already heard a lot about you, you’re the only thing I want to think of while going to war.

Don’t worry, I’ll be alright, the mere memory of your lips on mine is enough to keep me going.

With my dearest love and admiration,

Your Bob

My darling husband,

thank you for your letter, it reaches me well.

I miss you daily, my love, and I cannot tell you how grateful I am to have met you.

You’re so wonderful, kind and compassionate as well as just a joy to be around.

Anyone working by your side is lucky to have you, just like I am as well.

Jess and I are doing well, and while we miss you incredibly much we see each other daily, just to keep each other company.

Don’t mistake the fact that I keep busy with the idea of not missing you - I do nothing but, no matter how much I try to distract myself.

You’re my greatest joy and I hadn’t known happiness until I met you, I will keep missing it until you’re back safely in my arms.

I love you.

My darling love,

these past few weeks have been challenging, but thinking of you keeps my spirits up and my heart beating.

I have met some of the men fighting on the shores and on land and I cannot and do not want to tell you how miserable they look, like broken men with crying hearts.

I am trained for fighting and flying but I was not prepared to see such misery, all that keeps me calm is you.

I just feel like I might not be doing enough, I am not seeing the horrors of war as much as the next man, from the safety of my cockpit I have a way to shut those out as much as I can, not being quite as vulnerable as them.

I don’t mean to bother you with this or to evoke any sense of discomfort or sadness; I am well, just as any good man would questioning my efficiency in this endless bloodshed.

I am endlessly devoted to you and missing you with all I have,

Lovingly,

Your husband Bob

My loving husband,

I love you more than I can express, and hearing you exclaim your doubts makes my heart ache.

As an aviator you are keeping as many men from harm as you can, in which you might be more efficient than would you fight on land.

I beg you to reconsider your value in this, everything you do is thought-through and I am sure that everything you do is helping and has helped others.

Because of this I need to ask you to take care of yourself first; you cannot help them or anyone if you yourself are sick, injured or dead.

I love you, Bob, and I need you to promise me to put yourself first.

There have been developments in my life, in our life, that implore me to ask this of you, because it’s not just my life at stake.

We are going to have a child, you and me, and while our time together has already been perfect I cannot think about how wonderful it will become with our little one on the way.

You haven’t just given me one person to love and adore but a second one as well, and I can just hope that this news will give you as much joy as they give me.

Jess is an angel these days, making sure I have everything I need and watching out for me.

I love you so so much, and I can assure you so does the little one.

My darling,

I am at a loss for words at how ecstatic the news of our child has made me.

While I feel the loss of some of my comrades and the weight of war my love for you and our child has given me strength I didn’t know I had.

The picture you sent me of yourself is close to my heart in my breast pocket, just like on the night of our first meeting with your address and phone number.

I haven’t taken them out except to wash my uniform, they’re always with me as I know you are as well.

I cannot promise you I’ll be back before their birth but I will do my very best, as does everyone else around me.

Should it not be the case, might I ask for a picture of our little one, to hold dear like I do the one of you?

I love you most ardently, my dear,

Your Bobby

last part

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[aeoncss]

durge x gale spoilers below

this scene absolutely killed me last night, especially with the dynamic between my tav, kelarina, and gale.

he knew about the darkness that plagued the half-elf, the one that caused the death of alfina after the celebration of saving the grove. but nothing, nothing to this extent.

kelarina refused to speak up about that part of herself. the part that yearns for bloodshed to the point where her mouth practically waters at the sight of a corpse. everyday, the further her urge pressed on - whispering deadly omens, the more she despised herself. there have been many moments at camp where her eyes pointed towards the cozy fire, only to be thinking about how deserving of death she was.

with the life kelarina has taken, it was only fair that she perished as well.

so when she awoke gale in a panic, after speaking to the friend that visits her unprompted, she had to spill everything. from alfina, to how there’s a constant press in her veins to fight the cleric at last light inn — those secrets kelarina tried so hard to keep inside, to allow no daylight to stem across, they had to be revealed. to keep him safe, and to protect the others that laid peacefully sleeping.

and despite everything — despite the horrors the fighter confessed to, the mental struggle that merely consumes her on a day-to-day basis, gale still loved her.

he was the light that shined through the blind haze, his voice anchoring her when the urge fought and prodded to just win — to take over and remove any last bit of humanity kelarina had to offer.

gale saved her that night, even if he thinks it was just to deter her away from the darkness. he brought back the hope to keep pressing on, instead of letting it fall from her fingers. he’s her savior — and the fighter will always, always be grateful for him, her love only growing stronger.

[cityandking]

what do you think minah's favourite and least favourite things have been about warden life so far?

oooooooooh ok well.

her least favorite thing about warden life has been the blight. easy answer I know, but she's intimately familiar with human cruelties and hatred and gamesmanship and finds a certain comfort in being able to navigate that and come out on top. the senseless hunger and horror of the blight is so completely incomprehensible in comparison. she hates the brutality and the bloodshed and the fact that there's nothing for her to manipulate or play. how do you beat something that can't be tricked or conned or distracted or reasoned with? what's the point in performance when there's no audience to perform for? she's having a lot of trouble squaring her understanding of the world as an inherently transactional gameboard where you can come out if you're clever or quick or lucky enough with the blunt, unrelenting violence of the horde

on the flip side, her favorite thing about warden life is the relative respect and ease of access and stuff that tossing out the warden title gets her. she's got so much more freedom to come and go and be as nosy as she wants with the wardens behind her and that's kind of a relief after relying on herself (and the Orchestra) for so long. she's also pretty fond of the party, and of not having to worry about where her next meal is coming from, and an excuse to travel to neat places and be bothersome and curious as a job. like she's had the chance to steal So Much Shit since the joining. real sliver lining (literally)

[krueger4eva]

Top 12 LGBT Horror Characters

9. Jake Wheeler (played by Zackary Arthur) from Chucky

TW: mentions of homophobia, bullying, child abuse, death, murder

*spoilers for Chucky TV Series*

Moving on to another television series based on a popular horror franchise, we are now discussing “Chucky”, which premiered on Syfy and USA Network in 2021, created by Don Manicini, who originated the entire franchise.

After seven movies, the iconic foul-mouthed killer doll continues his path of bloodshed on the small screen, with his targets sighted on a new generation of kids to terrorize.

One of those kids is middle schooler Jake Wheeler.

Before Chucky came into his life, Jake was already living in a horror story.

After his mother died in a car accident, Jake’s father Lucas became alcoholic, he is bullied mercilessly at school over his sexuality, and his perfectionist cousin Junior wants nothing to do with him.

At home, Lucas’ anger is compounded by the jealousy he felt toward his twin brother Logan’s more successful life he shared with his own wife and son. Plus, he is also not very accepting of Jake’s sexuality once he came out to him. All of this brewing rage led to Lucas punching his young son in the face after a heated argument. 🥺

The only solace he had was building those bizarre, morbid sculptures in his bedroom. (A hobby that he apparently outgrew after season 1, cause it’s never mentioned again.)

Then, Jake crosses paths with the red-headed doll at a chance encounter at a garage sale. After discovering his supernatural secret, Jake becomes slowly influenced by Chucky through after sharing his problems with him. Chucky uses false empathy to sway Jake into believing that he cares about his personal issues and wants to help him out. Thus, Chucky proposes a solution to make Jake’s emotional pain go away: MURDER!

What makes this so fascinating is that we see our lead character contemplating on going through with murdering someone. There are scenes of Jake buying weapons, chasing after someone, and even willingly gives Chucky to his tormentor Lexi, knowing that she would get murdered. Even though he has a change of heart and chooses to stop this plan, part of me actually worried that Jake would’ve succeeded in giving in to Chucky’s psychopathic manipulations, becoming another Charles Lee Ray in the making. It is terrifying, yet heartbreaking to see how easy it is for a child from a broken home could be influenced to do horrific acts by a stranger.

Yet, the damage was already done. Jake’s actions have still led to many deaths around him, including classmates and family members.

Now, Jake has to take responsibility and make things right. Now, everyday him and his friends have to spend their teen years facing danger at every turn.

Evil therapists. Psychotic nuns. Sociopathic children.

And to top it off, Chucky can be anywhere…and ANYONE!!

I can’t tell you if Jake will survive Chucky once more, because season 3 hasn’t premiered yet by the time this post has been published.

Next

Previous

[legion1227]

Primal: Seasons 1-2. A Review.

I should've watched this sooner.

Primal is a TV show created by a gifted talent named Genndy Tartakovsky. The creative mind is responsible for several shows that air or aired on Cartoon Network and Adult Swim. These shows include Dexter's Laboratory, Samurai Jack, Star Wars: Clone Wars, Sym-Bionic Titan, and Unicorn: Warriors Eternal. Despite not having seen Unicorn: Warriors Eternal yet, the other shows I can attest to are high-quality, lovingly crafted, immensely enjoyable pieces of media. I have a soft spot for the Cartoon Network and Adult Swim as I grew up on the channel and still enjoy Adult Swim programming to this day. Not every show they've aired over decades has been a banger, but they have numerous feathers for their cap.

Tartakovsky has helped without a doubt, and Primal is another feather for their cap and his own.

Primal is an adult animated action series that aired the first 5 episodes of season 1 in October 2019, the following 5 a year later, and all 10 episodes of season 2 weekly starting July 21, 2022. Primal takes place during a version of the prehistoric age that features cavemen, extinct dinosaurs, mammals from the Ice Age, Vikings, magical creatures, and otherwise as it incorporates varying elements of fantasy, action, adventure, and sometimes even horror. Both seasons follow the adventures of a Neanderthal named Spear and Fang, a female Tyrannosaurus Rex who form a bond after both lose their families early and try to survive their world together making wild discoveries along the way. What makes Primal stand out amongst Genndy Tartakovsky's other works or other animated shows out there, besides its setting or compelling storytelling, animation, and so much else, is how the first season features no dialogue.

The show performs a stellar job of creating characters that have little to nothing to say besides grunts or screams. The second season begins incorporating more dialogue but remains minimal.

Primal deserves the acclaim it has received from critics. The animation is gritty but beautiful. Sometimes difficult to look at as brutal action sequences occur and sometimes hard to look away from as these beings try to survive. The story in season 1 shows Fang and Spear venturing from place to place with strong episodes that stand alone mostly, save for a few. The story in season 2 is even better as stakes and situations become increasingly complex and fascinating, ugh. The day-to-day struggle against hellish creatures while trying to survive or find someone or something is stellar. The second season also features some of the best episodes and arcs of the series so far.

Episode 4, The Red Mist, puts Spear and Fang to their limits as they face a fearsome and deadly warrior clan, featuring one of the best action sequences as Spear and Fang give into their basic instincts. Episode 5, The Primal Theory, is the one episode in the show that strays away from Fang and Spear and fast-forward to different characters in the year 1890. Upon initial watch, I was disinterested in straying away from the action Fang and Spear indulged in, but by the end of the episode, I was on the edge of my seat. And as I'm finished with the show, there's an argument to be made that it's the best episode of the series, even! It's not only an episode to show that Genndy can do an anthology series, but the whole episode relies on a premise relied upon by one of the characters early in, where they theorize that even if these elegant men of the 1800s are more articulate and advanced than their neanderthal ancestors if they are faced with a dire enough life or death situation, they may resort to their primal instincts, like their ancestors, to survive. Thus the name the Primal Theory. Not only is that theory put to the test, but the previous episode shows a blatant display of the hypothesis as Spear and Fang unleash bloodshed unlike ever before as the odds are stacked heavily against them. It's genius.

What's even more wild is the multi-episode run right until the end; They never hit the breaks. The episodes following the Primal Theory, pick up where Fang and Spear left off, returning after saving their friend Mira before launching into a three-episode arc taking place on a massive warship called the Colossaeus. The final episode of season 2 is bonkers as well, essentially wrapping up the story of Fang and Spear. Genndy Tartakovsky confirmed that Primal would become an anthology season going forward with season 3 as it was renewed in June earlier this year. If that is the case, I am waiting in anticipation.

Watch Primal if you haven't already. Season 1 is great, but Season 2 is even better. 4/5 for season 1, 4.5/5 for season 2.

[flydotnet]

Bad Things Happen Bingo! The event where you send me requests according to this marvelous card!

(Red cross is the completed prompt, character headshots are prompts I’ve already filled. I don’t have any request left, so feel free to send in suggestions for this card!).

But I will be fine. I must be.

Unofficial Gay Fates has made me super partial to both Scarlet and ships with Scarlet. I'm a Ryoma/Scarlet girly too, but also, the Scarlet-Xander support chain was too good for me not to get into the trenches and write something for it too. I may've read the official Scarlet/Chevois lore doc a little too many times compared to how faithful to UGF my Scarlet ended up being? Oh well. You never get anywhere if you never try! I don't like how Revelation handled... well, most things, and the thing with Valla is stoopid as it's written there, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy playing with a zombie country of sort. There's a kind of horror to it and I had to set a mood y'know?the number of times I had "Deessu. Kurimuzon." in my head while writing this fic is obscenely high.

-----

Bride of Crimson

Summary: Guilt will come later - for now, Scarlet needs to escort a prince to safety.

Fandom: Fire Emblem Fates (Revelation route) Ship: Pre-S-Support Scarlet/Xander

Wordcount: words

Event hosted by @badthingshappenbingo

AO3 version.

------

Vallites don’t bleed.

That’s because they don’t have a soul anymore, Scarlet has been told. They’re corpses haunted by the mindless desire to do something. Ryo has compared them to a lizard’s tail once cut from its body, trembling as if alive yet dead all the same; and she didn’t really question it. If Ryo believed Corrin, then she had no reason to suspect anything either: Ryo knew what he was doing, then why would she go against him? As far as she was concerned, nothing had contradicted what his sister had said.

 Vallites don’t bleed, which makes it oh so much more noticeable when it’s her comrades who do. It smears on the fluorescent grass of Valla and it smells like iron – not the sort that results from weapons clashing against each other, but that which has kept her on alert for so long, back in Cheve. It looks out of place right when she thought she had finally gotten used to bloodshed.

Scarlet has been through worse, though. It takes a special kind of guts to rise against a kingdom so much bigger than your country, whose nobles seem so adamant to hurt people they can’t see while they laze around and live in luxury (and someone may’ve helped with her perception of that, but one man can’t change an entire life experience of conclusions), but it’s this special kind that’s now allowing her to cut through ghosts that play pretend with everyone’s emotions and distress alike.

 A strong, belting voice screams from behind her, prompting her to briefly turn around.

“Scarlet, look out!”

She barely has the time to crouch before a sword dark as the night pierces through a Faceless’ chest. If the voice wasn’t a giveaway, then the weapon alone would be a dead seller for the ages.

“Xander?!”

He walks his horse to her, Siegfried still in hand. (A beautiful weapon, if sinister… and plain. Unfortunately, her offer to spruce it up has already been turned down).

“Are you hurt?”

“No, no I’m not, in no small part thanks to ya.” She shines him a smile.

“Very well,” he replies with stiff shoulders and a smirk just as uncomfortable to look at. “Where’s your wyvern?”

“Errrh… Vaida got injured earlier, so I’m lettin’ her a nice rest back at camp! Can’t let my ride get worse under my watch!”

“I see. I trust you can handle yourself on your own, right?”

“Of course! Dun take me for a fragile lil’ flower, Dandy-Lion!”

He blushes like a tulip at the remark, “p-please keep this silly nickname off the—”

Xander stops dead in his tracks, eyes opening wide.

“Dan…”

“Get down!”

 A hand axe cuts through the air, flirting so close to her pauldron that it tears it off from her, taking it in its course.

 Once the initial shock passes, she clutches her own axe to her and swings it at the culprit – some Vallite soldier with empty sockets for eyes, in a vague human shape, glaring at her with an expression just as soulless. Yep, no sympathy to be found here.

She slashes it in a single blow and doesn’t bother with delicacy, almost cutting the creature in two clean halves, looking around just enough to tell Ryo and his little brother have taken care of their left flank and Corrin and company the right one. The battle’s almost over, so she gets back up, straps her axe back onto her. She’ll polish it once they have downtime again.

 With an excited step, Scarlet turns around again.

“Good job spotting that, Dandy…”

A black horse is staring back at her with a nervous breath.

“…Lion…?”

It happens to have no rider.

 Urgency hurries through Scarlet’s every fibre, until she finally thinks about checking the ground. When she does, her jaw almost drops, but she clenches her teeth and runs to a crumpled body on the ground. Ignoring every feature, she puts her hand in front of the person’s nose and two fingers on their neck – air, a pulse, a groan of pain.

Good, he’s still alive (she doesn’t quite know what she’d have done if he hadn’t been). Now, for how long, she doesn’t know, and she doesn’t wish to find out. Time to bring him to safety and have someone who knows their way around with a staff do their magic.

 As delicately as she can, she picks Xander up in her arms as if carrying a bride. The irony isn’t lost on her, as removed as it is from the situation: she renounced to getting wed when she picked up a banner and threw her life into fighting for her land, yet there she is, carrying him like she’d have expected to be, when she was a little girl and she was allowed to dream.

Oh, but that was so long ago, she doesn’t know what she’s thinking about it. It’s not like she’d have looked as limp as Xander is right now, breathing almost impossible to see with how small the movement of his chest is. His skin is pale, the rings under his eyes darker than Siegfried, his limbs limp and fingers loose. In ways, she’s carrying a shadow, in others, a statue. In either case, her fingers feel like they could break something.

 Drops dripple down her shoes as she walks. The colour of her armour makes it hard to tell what it is, but the smell of iron never mistakes her. Xander’s would make it just as difficult, but whatever slashed him pierced through what was where, leaving skin and muscle naked for all to see and blood – a river of it, in fact, trailing behind them, and she wishes she could run.

The battlefield seems bigger than it was before and how does she regret not having Vaida by her side right about now. Xander’s horse can’t help them now, not with the sort of injury he has. For all she knows, it’d just make the blood loss happen faster – and gods, he’s already pale as is. Come to think of it, maybe his pallor never reminded her of the sheltered life she imagined the Nohr royals to have…

 A feeble voice calls her back to the sound of her footsteps crunching dying grass.

“Scar…”

“Keep your strength to yourself… Dandy-Lion.”

To her surprise, she sees him smile – one as delicate as his breath. It’s good enough, she thinks.

“I’m not too heavy, am I…?”

On second thought…

“You’re lighter than I expected, honestly.” She snickers. “Heh, if I had been told the High Prince of Nohr would worry about that on his deathbed, I wouldn’t have believed it, yet here we are!”

She hopes that, if he can focus on something else…

“I can’t be too worried if it’s you, can I…?”

Her face burns.

“What’s that s’pposed to mean?!” She snorts and chuckles. “Don’t make me laugh like that, there may still be enemies ‘round!”

Huh, his smile is loopy…

“Your presence… is reassuring…”

…and his cough isn’t getting better.

“What the…”

There is a thin trail of blood going down his lips and chin. Oh no.

“Scarlet, you’re…”

The good thing to do would be to make him spare his energy, but… despite it all, his voice…

“Shut up, I’m bringing you to a healer! You can tell me all ’bout it later!”

 She quickens her pace, despite the soreness in her legs and the way carrying someone tugs at her arms. Her pains are a minor thing compared to the man bleeding to death drop by drop in her embrace; and yes, she can’t call it anything else. Not when he calls her presence reassuring, not when she sees the way he makes her feel.

She clutches him closer to her, letting rust dripple down her breastplate, uncaring for any sort of aesthetic. Of course, this is a battlefield, and there’ll never be enough gemstones to make death and blood beautiful… but this is different, Scarlet finds. Everything around her is crimson, now, from the air she breathes to the skin she feels under soaked cloth.

If she could, she’d leave a peck on the forehead of a man who’s absolutely making it out of here.

 The rest of the road back to camp is long and silent. Xander’s breathing is a fragile thing, or so it feels, and he doesn’t rouse back to wakefulness. She regrets telling him to shut it, now, but if it’s so he can get some rest… then so be it.

She wonders what the scar she’s left him looks like – half out of pride, half out of shame… and a little bit of general curiosity. It’s impossible for her to tell what part of his silhouette is armour and what isn’t, sometimes, and she blames it on being starstruck.

…oh, she never even thought of Ryoma like that.

 The camp is now in view, with its white smoke and warm banners.

“Hey, Dandy-Lion…”

“Hmm…?”

“Is there someone you’re coming back to once this war’s over?”

He spits out some blood on the side. It’d have disgusted many, she supposes, but she appreciates the eternal reminder that, for all of his royal-ness, Dandy-Lion’s still a mortal at the end of the day. Makes him more approachable, more… lovable? (Oh gods).

“You mean… as a spouse…?”

“Yeah. So?”

“No… I cannot see myself take a wife… and neglect her as my father has…”

“You’re not your dad, ya big doofus. Pretty sure we’ve gone over that already.”

She isn’t quite sure what she expected he’d reply.

“Has someone… ever told you your honesty was refreshing…?”

She chuckles. For all of his princely ways, he isn’t above being embarrassingly adorable.

“Yes, you, that other time.”

“And you…?”

“Yeah?”

“Is someone… waiting for you back in Cheve…?”

She chuckles. Had the man she’s carrying in her arms the High Prince of Nohr, she’d have seen a reciprocal response there.

“Not in that way, no.”

“I see…”

His head lulls against her breastplate.

“You’ll be okay, Dandy-Lion. Just ya wait.”

“Oh, I know, Scarlet, I know…”

 She quickens her pace one last time, heart jumping up and down.

Xander lifts his head, painfully slowly, grunting under his breath. Aww…

“The camp’s not far. You’ll be fine.” It’s a little hard to believe when you see him bleeding, white like a sheet and eyes foggy, but if she isn’t here to believe in his recovery, then who will? “Sorry, by the way. If I hadn’t lost focus…”

“Peace, Scarlet… An injury is better than a death…”

“That’s true…”

“Isn’t it funny?”

“What would be?”

“That this is the second time you’re carrying me to safety…”

“Does the first time count, when it was just fixing my own mistake?”

He coughs when he chuckles with her, but he’s still with her.

“I’d say so…”

“Then guess it counts!”

 She steps into camp and, as gently as she can, gives her charge to a worried Camilla of Nohr, who, not unlike her, can carry Xander without grunting (gods, what little firecracker said really holds water). The horse, who she abandoned without meaning to, follows Camilla inside the camp, as diligently as it behaved when it was mounted.

Speaking of mounts, she’s missed Vaida very much. Maybe she can pay a visit to Dandy-Lion later, once she’s had a good conversation with her trusted wyvern about what to do when you seem to have a thing for the crown prince of the kingdom you’ve spent most of your life fighting against… oh, and once Dandy-Lion isn’t covered in crimson anymore. It’s not because beauty is never truly tarnished that she doesn’t want to see him soaked in his own blood.

She should start with cleaning her armour and weapons, actually… Blood doesn’t suit them either.

 It suits nobody, really.

[stobotnik-forever]

Soulmate AU Prologue

Little side note here:

This part is pretty much just background info to kick start the more interesting parts that will be in the next chapters(but if you don't read this, there will be some serious confusion in later chapters). And remember how I said Robotnik wouldn't be working for the government yet? Well I rewrote some things and now he is. Stone is still 18 and you'll still get to see his family life, etc. This 1st chapter doesn't really talk much about Soulmates yet but the next chapters will talk about it more, I promise! Oh and feel free to send a comment on what you think of this fic(whether you love it and wanna see more or have some constructive criticism for me)or maybe just send a like, whatever works, anyway I hope you enjoy reading this<333

"You're being stationed where," his mom asked.

"Afghanistan," his father repeated with the same hard military tone he used whenever he spoke.

"But that's overseas," his mom cried in outrage.

"I'm aware but this is the first mission I've been assigned since...," father trailed off, looking down at his right arm that stopped just before the elbow. Aban remembered that day well, the look of sheer horror and heartbreak that nearly tore his mom's soul in half when she got the call, the way she went over 100 miles an hour all the way to the hospital, and the hours of crying and endless whispers of 'I'm so glad you're okay, thank god you're okay' as she squeezed herself into the hospital bed beside the injured man and wouldn't stop hugging his father....

Stone zoned back in when hearing his father bark out a sharp, 'I cannot refuse this mission!'

"But what if you get-Nothing's going to happen, Annabelle," father cut in. "I'm not-the taller man sighed, staring at his arm again-I'm not even going to be on the front lines," he finished, seemingly disheartened that he wouldn't be at the center of the bloodshed.

"So then what will you be doing," the 18 year old asked after a growing moment of silence.

His father's fist clenched, a scowl on his face, "I'm playing babysitter for some government quack." Aban and his mother shared the same confused look before staring back at the other man, waiting for him to continue.

"I'm going to be the bodyguard to some mad man who gets off on playing with his fancy tin cans," his father said begrudgingly.

"Tin cans," Stone echoed with slight confusion.

"Robots, the sick fucker makes killer death machines for a living," his father clarified. Well this guy certainly didn't sound very nice but he knew his father could handle this mission and he could already see this taking some of his mom's worries away, knowing her soulmate wouldn't be risking his neck out on the front lines.

"Anyway we'll be leaving this week so start packing," father said, gruffly before storming out.

-------

Meanwhile overseas...Ivo was pissed, pissed they keep sending government lapdogs to his lab, pissed they already had another picked out, pissed he has to stay in this god forsaken country for who the fuck knows how long, and pissed he has to waste his precious time and brain power to create machines for braindead military men who don't treat his babies with even half the respect they deserve!!!

A good long scream accompanied by a storm of cusses, a few mysteriously broken objects, and one dance break later Robotnik calmed down. Immediately reading through the musclehead's file. Sebastian Stone. He's 41, his wife is 39, and his son turned 18 just a few months ago. The only blemish on this man's seemingly perfect track record is a recent mission in Turkey that left him temporarily out of action. The load of medals backing him combined with his so-called exceptional leading skills(and ass kissing skills no doubt)must be why they kept this lapdog in particular. Not like it mattered, he'd have this one out of here in a week.

[clicktogether]

Hamilton Edition

BOLD all that apply to your muse. Italicize all that somewhat applies to your muse.

The world’s gonna know your name / There’s a million things I haven’t done / You gotta fend for yourself / You could never back down. You never learned to take your time / I may have punched him. It’s a blur / He looked at me like I was stupid. I’m not stupid / We’re worth more than anyone bargained for / Talk less. Smile more / Fools who run their mouths off wind up dead / If you stand for nothing, what’ll you fall for? / I am not throwing away my shot / I’m young, scrappy, and hungry / I probably shouldn’t brag, but dag, I amaze and astonish / The problem is I got a lot of brains, but no polish / Don’t be shocked when your history book mentions me / I will lay down my life if it sets us free / You and I, do or die / Sometimes I get over excited, shoot off at the mouth / They’ll tell the story of tonight / Raise a glass to freedom, something they can never take away / You want a revolution? I want a revelation / Look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now / Chaos and bloodshed are not a solution / I’d rather be divisive than indecisive / I will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love / I will fight the fight and win the war / Any hope of success is fleeting / Dying is easy. Living is harder / I have never been the type to try and grab the spotlight / Then you walked in and my heart went “Boom!” / I remember that night, I just might regret that night for the rest of my days / I have never been satisfied / Love doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints / When they died they left no instructions, just a legacy to protect / Death doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints / I am the one thing in life I can control / I am not standing still, I am lying in wait / Stay alive ‘til this horror show is past / We have a war to fight, let’s move along / My name’s been through a lot, I can take it / I am more than willing to die / Just stay alive, that would be enough / I made every mistake / I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory / The world turned upside down / It’s much harder when it’s all your call / Domestic life was never quite my style / Keep on fighting in the meantime / I’ve seen injustice in the world and I’ve corrected it / Now what I’m going to say may sound indelicate /  I hadn’t slept in a week / Show me how to say no to this / Do we not fight for freedom? / You don’t even know what you’re asking me to confess / I looked up and the town had its eyes on me / I wrote my way out of hell / I will choose her happiness over mine every time / I knew you were mine.    You said you were mine. I thought were mine / Be careful with that one, love, he will do what it takes to survive / The world has no right to my heart / I hope that you burn /  I can’t have that, I’m making my father proud / Mom, I’m so sorry for forgetting what you taught me / There is suffering too terrible to name / And I pray… that never used to happen before / There is a grace too powerful to name / But I won’t apologize for doing what’s right / I’m running out of time. I’m running, and my time’s up / You have no control who lives, who dies, who tells your story  

[hismentor]

Hamilton Edition

BOLD all that apply to your muse. Italicize all that somewhat applies to your muse.

The world’s gonna know your name / There’s a million things I haven’t done / You gotta fend for yourself / You could never back down. You never learned to take your time / I may have punched him. It’s a blur / He looked at me like I was stupid. I’m not stupid / We’re worth more than anyone bargained for / Talk less. Smile more / Fools who run their mouths off wind up dead / If you stand for nothing, what’ll you fall for? / I am not throwing away my shot / I’m young, scrappy, and hungry / I probably shouldn’t brag, but dag, I amaze and astonish / The problem is I got a lot of brains, but no polish / Don’t be shocked when your history book mentions me / I will lay down my life if it sets us free / You and I, do or die / Sometimes I get over excited, shoot off at the mouth / They’ll tell the story of tonight / Raise a glass to freedom, something they can never take away / You want a revolution? I want a revelation / Look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now / Chaos and bloodshed are not a solution / I’d rather be divisive than indecisive / I will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love / I will fight the fight and win the war / Any hope of success is fleeting / Dying is easy. Living is harder / I have never been the type to try and grab the spotlight / Then you walked in and my heart went “Boom!” / I remember that night, I just might regret that night for the rest of my days / I have never been satisfied / Love doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints / When they died they left no instructions, just a legacy to protect / Death doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints / I am the one thing in life I can control / I am not standing still, I am lying in wait / Stay alive ‘til this horror show is past / We have a war to fight, let’s move along / My name’s been through a lot, I can take it / I am more than willing to die / Just stay alive, that would be enough / I made every mistake / I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory / The world turned upside down / It’s much harder when it’s all your call / Domestic life was never quite my style / Keep on fighting in the meantime / I’ve seen injustice in the world and I’ve corrected it / Now what I’m going to say may sound indelicate /  I hadn’t slept in a week / Show me how to say no to this / Do we not fight for freedom? / You don’t even know what you’re asking me to confess / I looked up and the town had its eyes on me / I wrote my way out of hell / I will choose her happiness over mine every time / I knew you were mine.  You said you were mine. I thought were mine / Be careful with that one, love, he will do what it takes to survive / The world has no right to my heart / I hope that you burn /  I can’t have that, I’m making my father proud / Mom, I’m so sorry for forgetting what you taught me / There is suffering too terrible to name / And I pray… that never used to happen before / There is a grace too powerful to name / But I won’t apologize for doing what’s right / I’m running out of time. I’m running, and my time’s up / You have no control who lives, who dies, who tells your story