#how to write a romcom

[4sh-n4]

Based on ^^^ that post (kind of)

Dick and Bernard don't get along. Well, they don't hate each other but they're not best friends. They're barely friends at all. Vaguely connected acquaintances through their mutual love for Tim at most. So why is it that Dick exits his bedroom one morning (in his personal apartment!! In Bludhaven!!!) to find out that his little brother's boyfriend has set up camp in his kitchen and seems to be attempting to conduct a coup over the pathetic electrical appliances in his kitchen that he had refused to replace when he first moved in as rebellion against Bruce's need to control every aspect of his life and then had just...not gotten around to doing it because he barely ever had the energy or time to cook for himself anyways.

Dick must've made some noise of surprise because Bernard turns around from where he's currently trying to curl the wire of the toaster into different angles and shapes in hopes that it'll turn on. Bernard nods at him before turning back to his task like this is a regular situation (which it decidedly is not!! Dick thinks with a tinge of hysteria).

"What are you doing in my kitchen?"

"Making breakfast? Or well, lunch technically but they're breakfast foods and also the first meal of the day for both of us. So, brunch? I was gonna make eggs and toast but I don't think I'm going to be able to wrangle your toaster under submission anytime soon so how do you feel about pancakes?" Bernard doesn't even have the decency to turn around as he answers. Or wait for a response clearly, since he's already going through Dick's cupboards for ingredients, abandoning the failed toaster to the side.

"Uh, the flour is behind that box. Yeah, right there. How did you get in here? How did you even know where I live? And again, why are you in my house??" Dick would maybe put up more of a protest usually, but he's had a really bad time for the last couple of...forevers really, so he's decided that his new policy (decided two seconds ago) is to never refuse free pancakes from anyone. And he's not an idiot, he's stolen Tim's leftovers enough times to know that these pancakes are about to be quite possibly the best things to greet his tongue in the last week. So instead of knocking out the blonde in front of him and dumping him on Tim's doorstep, he's deciding to be the bigger person. The more mature person. Who really wants some pancakes.

"Did you know the Riddler really likes pancakes? I found out that one time he'd decided to set up his base of operations in the back of that Waffle House on main street that closed down 2 months after it opened. Probably due to the aforementioned criminal activities actually. I was looking for Condiment King's cousin, you know the one that's been stealing all the dessert sauces in Gotham to feed them to Killer Croc as some sort of weird courting ritual even though everyone knows that Killer Croc only has eyes for Ratman since they cohabitate in the Gotham sewers? I made a video on it and everything for my youtube, complete with powerpoints. That's why there's a city-wide shortage of the good strawberry sauce and I have to travel all the way to Metropolis to get some even though theirs does not taste the same, no matter what Tim says. Don't listen to Tim, he doesn't know what he's talking about when it comes to dessert sauces. Other than marmalade, he's got a pretty good tongue for that. He's got a good tongue for other things too, but don't tell him I said that, I've been trying to convince him that he needs to practice with it more and I think it's finally starting to work. Or Tim is just humouring my request to kiss him more, I'm not actually sure yet."

Dick blinks as he tries to process everything that he's just heard. He blinks a few more times, just in case that improves his comprehension and then comes to the conclusion that no, whatever Bernard is talking about makes no more sense after sitting with it for a few more seconds and also that he's currently sharing a kitchen with a madman. His brother is /dating/ a madman, oh god.

Bernard has somehow managed to find everything he needs in Dick's kitchen (how? even Dick doesn't know where he'd put the chocolate chips, he'd lost them after hiding them from Damian) . He's also too chipper for...12:30 in the afternoon. Dick needs him to take a step back and give him a few more hours to wake up on his day off, please and thank you.

Dick thinks about addressing Bernard's inane chatter but decides he has bigger things to worry about and instead says, "That answered exactly none of my questions."

He knows for a fact that he checked his locks before going to bed, and his door has Wayne manufactured (and Batman enhanced) protection that should not be able to be broken by a civilian. So if he's got a security issue, he'd like to know about it before the Joker or someone decides that Dick Grayson would make the perfect target for their next scheme.

Bernard sighs and turns to give him a put out look like he's not the one currently standing in the kitchen of someone he barely knows and is being highly inconvenienced by Dick's perfectly valid questions about his safety. Dick simply stares back silently. He does seem to realise that Dick isn't willing to just let this go, so faces the stove before actually answering his questions instead of deflecting.

"Well. If you must know, my darling boyfriend is away on urgent 'Wayne Enterprises business' in Jump City," Bernard makes sure to add the quotation marks with his fingers and turns again, this time looking at Dick dryly as if telling him just exactly what he thinks of that lie. Dick jolts in his chair, eyes widening slightly before he gets his facial features under control, feeling slightly more awake all of a sudden. As far as he knows, Bernard should have no knowledge of the family's... extracurricular activities.

Luckily (or unluckily), he isn't given the chance to respond before Bernard continues, "I heard you had the day off from Duke who was complaining about how you haven't been visiting recently and got bored enough alone that I decided to drop in. I figured your windows are probably less impenetrable than your doors to account for late night visits, similar to Tim, except you also live too high up for anyone to get up without help." (At this, Bernard rolls his eyes). "So I waited until your downstairs neighbours- that lovely couple, Belinda and Mark- left the house for date night before picking the lock for their house instead and climbing up the windows for only one floor instead of five."

What the FUCK. Where did Tim find this guy?? Does Bruce know that his son's boyfriend is a maniac? Dick gapes at the man opposite him, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. He runs his hand through his hair a few times. At least that answers the question about whether or not Bernard knows about his night time activities (HOW?).

"Okay. Okay. Wow. How do you know my downstairs neighbours?" That's definitely not the biggest concern right now, but Dick honestly and truly has no idea where to even start with the rest of it so this seems like a good point to address.

"I helped Belinda carry her groceries yesterday because Mark was at the vet with the stray cat that they're thinking of adopting because they've been feeding her for a few months."

[theofficialuriel]

au where tim never became Robin, but he met Darla Aquista and decided to do crime bossing for fun.

i can’t decide if jack should know about it or not.

but Bruce thinks he knows about it. In fact, he thinks Jack is the mastermind.

jack is just trying to come to terms with his wife’s death and the strange black shadow he keeps seeing in the darkest corners of his house.

[thatpinkbetch]

I just have this idea stuck in my head of an au where Bakugou is a showrunner (or whatever) for one of those "guess that song in the first couple of seconds" game shows and Midoriya is just kind of like, randomly there one day dropping something off, maybe like as an assistant to someone or something, and when he walks into the room when theyre testing candidates for the show, he ruins the song immediately by going, "oh, whos playing Eraserhead?" And first Bakugous pissed that he ruined the song for the contestants. Especially since Midoriya doesnt even seem to know the show, or even recognize the concept until it's explained to him. But then he starts to notice that Midoriya recognizes the songs IMMEDIATELY. Im talking less than a second in, the moment the song STARTS, he'll be like "oh! I love this one!" Or "Ah, can we skip this?" And I'm not really certain how all of this would go down, but Bakugou would study him, and like, see him flipping through the car radio and how he barely even waits before skipping to the next station. "How the hell can you tell what's on?" "That was "All for One' by the League of Villains. I dont really like that one." Meanwhile Bakugou is flabbergasted. He kind of hates Midoriya for being so flawlessly perfect at this (HIS) concept without realizing how insane it is, because what the hell? How the FUCK does he know what song it is? Every time?? But then he also wants to get him on his show. So then finally, he tries to set Midoriya up as a contestant and they do a practice run, and Midoriya just freezes the fuck up LOL he cant do anything in front of an audience, hes got the worlds WORST stage fright. And then etc etc they fall in love, the end.

[inorganicorgan]

[leonardalphachurch]

post restoration fic where grif asks simmons to be the best man at his wedding and simmons has to not completely lose his mind and try to murder grif’s fiancé while still trying to deny that he has feelings for him

[valeriianz]

I've had this Dreaming The Proposal AU sitting in my drafts for a while. Then @voukkake comes out with this art and I figured it was time to brush off the dust and share what I'd written lol. This is seriously all I'm going to write so if anyone is interested I'm begging you to pick this up. I'm dying to read Dream awkwardly interacting with Hob's family (also @valiantstarlights suggestion that Betty White is Destiny?? ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT). Anyway...

------------------

Dream is about to be deported because his visa application has been denied. He is in the middle of a meeting with his lawyers when Hob, his secretary, pops in the room to inform Dream of a very important phone call and Dream comes up with the insane plan to marry Hob to keep his immigration status.

He gestures for Hob to come over and Hob, clueless, wanders into the room and stands next to Dream, who takes him by the arm and tugs him just a little bit further to stand awkwardly close.

Dream announces their engagement and Hob stands there, shell shocked and feels his mouth moving against his will. That yeah, they are getting married. They are in love, sure. It isn’t until they leave the office, following Dream back to his, that Hob’s brain seems to come back online.

“What just happened in there?”

Dream grouses, head down, already back to his work as if nothing happened. Like he didn’t just use Hob as a pawn in his scheme to get around his denied visa application.

“They were going to make Morningstar editor-in-chief.” Is all Dream says, disdain dripping from every word. He still hasn’t looked up.

Hob stands there, still as a statue. His head is swimming with words, with emotions. Anger, disbelief, betrayal… and a small tiny flicker of undeniable interest that he hastily stomps out.

He manages to put the pieces together rather quickly though, while Dream continues sifting through paperwork.

“This is illegal,” Hob manages to croak out, brows furrowing. 

“Oh, please. The government looks for terrorists, not book publishers.” Dream’s head is still down in his paperwork.

Hob blinks, taking a step up to Dream’s desk. “I'm not marrying you.”

“Sure you are.” Dream sets aside a stack of papers and finally gives Hob his attention. “Because if you don't, your dreams of ‘touching millions of lives with the written word’ are dead.” 

Hob’s jaw drops. That was a line, corny as it was, that he’d used in the panel interview for this job. Three years ago.

----------------------

“Were you not in that room? I could get fined, I’ll go to jail over this. If you want me on this deal, you will promote me to editor.”

Without even glancing up from his phone, Dream scoffs.

“Absolutely not.”

“Well then I guess you’re screwed. Buh-bye.” Hob turns with a flourish and has to bite back a grin at how Dream splutters behind him and grabs him by the arm.

“Fine– fine! Editor.” His face seems to go through the five stages of grief. He drops his hold on Hob.

“And You’ll publish my manuscript.” Hob throws in. In for a penny.

Dream’s brows narrow and he shakes as if he’s physically controlling the urge to stamp his foot.

“Sure. I’ll publish your hack manuscript.”

“Good.” Hob slips his hands in his pants pockets, staring at Dream, deciding on one last nail in the coffin.

“Now do it properly.”

Dream cocks an eyebrow. “Do what properly?”

“Propose. Like you mean it.”

Dream’s entire body seizes up, but he manages not to let it show, distracting himself by slipping his phone in the pocket of his expensive slacks and clasping his hands in front of him.

“Will you marry me?”

“No.” Hob, the arrogant bastard, is visibly biting back a smirk. “Say it like you mean it.”

Dream takes a long, steadying breath through his nose.

“Hob Gadling. Will you–”

“And get on your knees.”

Dream absolutely refuses to decipher the thrill that shoots through his body at Hob’s command. Instead he keeps his mask of irritation and indifference on as he scans the crowd around them. They are still outside the courthouse, and the concrete sidewalk is going to potentially tear Dream’s Hugo Boss black wool pants.

So he carefully lowers himself, scowling as the smirk on Hob’s face only widens as Dream slowly settles onto the ground.

Once he’s as comfortable as Dream’s going to get, he clears his throat.

“Hob Gadling,” he glares at his subordinate from under his lashes. “Will you fucking marry me?”

Hob curls his lips in mock consideration, looking up past Dream’s head. He rocks back on his heels and nods with a forlorn sigh.

“Okay.” He still hasn’t met Dream’s gaze. “Could've done without the sarcasm but it will do. See you at the airport tomorrow.” 

And turns and walks away, leaving Dream to fend for himself on the ground.

[kkpwnall]

wip wednesday: what are you doing new year's day 🎉

tagged by the ever-delightful @cuoredimuschio to start the new year off write right.

i've been working on a lil winter romcom i can't wait to share! i'm in editing-mode now, so probably no new sentences today, but here's a lil snippet from ch1:

Diner Guy’s got a stately patrician nose that looks like it's been broken at least once or twice and finally healed crooked. A jaw square enough to hang a picture off of. Stormy hazel eyes to die for, and moles dotted all over his face and neck, trailing tantalizingly down the collar of his sweater. And there, in his right ear, a tiny golden hoop. Eddie's had dinner, but he always saves room for dessert. "Hi there," he says, leaning over the bar with a winning smile.  The guy doesn’t even look up at him, just grunts. Like actually grunts, like some sort of caveman in cable knit and keeps wiping the already spotless counter.  "I don’t think we’ve met," he tries again. "I’m Eddie." That earns him a look.  "I know." Tall, Bronze, and Gorgeous deadpans. 

tagging with zero pressure and all of the love: @judasofsuburbia @fragilecapric0rnn @cheatghost @figthefruitfaeth

@snowangeldotmp3 @fastcardotmp3 @butchhorse @yournowheregirl @notbluechild

[arminthada]

OMG! Oh My Girl (2022) dir. by Pong Thitipong Kerdtongtawee

[thavron]

All I Want For Christmas

Crowley hates Christmas. Loathes it, in fact. But when he meets Aziraphale Fell, a local artist and Christmas enthusiast, Crowley starts to change his ways.

Perhaps it was the mead talking, or the ring of fairy lights that the man is wearing like a halo pressed into the blondest curls he has ever seen, but Crowley’s first and only thought upon making eye contact is fuck me, it's an actual angel of the lord.

This is my attempt at writing a Christmas RomCom in the month of December. I apologise for nothing. first chapter up, the rest will follow

First chapter up, the rest will follow.

[seiwas]

my typical writing style completely goes out the window whenever i write for atsumu 😭😭😭😭😭

[dainesanddaffodils]

FFXIV WRITE 2024 DAY 24: BAR

Tequila shots in Tuliyollal | Danwntrail, very very spoiler-light | Rated T | 354 words

“You Ishgardians and your salt.”

Estinien rolls his eyes. “That has nothing to do with this. It’s how I was told they do it here.”

“All right, all right,” Cimorene allows, still grinning. “I ‘start with the salt’ and then what, exactly?”

“Like this.” Methodically, like this is him teaching her lance work and not how to ‘properly’ take a shot of alcohol, her lover licks the back of his hand, then takes the receptacle of salt at the bar and applies some to the damp spot. He then licks it off and quickly downs the clear liquor. Finally, he takes the wedge of lime that has been provided by the bartender with the tequila and bites into it - then, setting it aside he sits back and looks at her somewhere between expectant and smug.

She blinks. “So… how often have you done this since you got here?”

Estinien laughs. “A bit.”

“Mhmm.”

“And I knew right away that you’d like it.” He nudges the salt to her and her set up of drink and lime wedge. “Try.”

Cimorene narrows her eyes for a moment, but if there’s anyone that she won’t say no to a challenge from, it’s him. It’s always been him. She shrugs.

She follows his demonstration as best she can, but she’s overeager for having not done this before, trying to match his speed. She chokes a bit on the tequila - and she never struggles with liquor - but she’s able to swallow and gets her teeth around the lime, sucking on it while she finishes regaining her composure.

It is good, she’ll admit. The whole process is a little convoluted but it’s fun. She likes when drinking isn’t just for getting drunk.

Estinien has been watching her closely and correctly reads her reaction, holding up to fingers to the bartender. Another one for each of them. Wiping the corners of her mouth, she grins.

“We should have Alphinaud try this.”

Estinien laughs one of his rare, full-bodied laughs. The kind where he actually throws his head back. The kind she is always so proud of herself for getting. “Another time.”

[lolliepops-rox]

Never watch a romcom. If you end up liking a different love interest for the lead than the one they end up with, you'll be in the trenches forever. My ship is right; fuck canon and all of y'all

[scintillatingshortgirl19]

i just have one question which is

what in the actual motherfucking HELL

[tokiro07]

Kicking my feet thinking about how many times Andy and Fuuko have kissed on screen and how I can only name one other Jump series that has had their romantic leads do it even once (it was Medaka Box, btw)

[itspileofgoodthings]

the part of the end of David Copperfield where Davy realizes he loves Agnes ……….. carved into my heart forever I fear.

[grimmusings]

rules: without naming them, post a gif from ten of your favorite films and then tag ten people to do the same.

@alwaysxinxtrouble thank you for the tag, lovely!

tagging: @potentialbreakupscng, @murder-popsicle, @biblicallyaccuratemcu, @amarvelousmencgerie, @fangsforhire, @cyberneticasset, @delightindarkness, @kobikate, @theking-blackheart-muses, @sioraiocht