#however I think she’s portrayed as more neutral to the blacks for a reason and she is ignored and misunderstood by key green players bc the

[shortnotsweet]

after being on the hellscape that is Twitter and reading hot take after hot take now I literally want to write an miniature essay about HoTD and character resemblance to Greek mythology figures and how Helaena being a dreamer in the show is—while not from the source material and an ability that could have reasonably been given to another character—an intentional detail meant to both further flesh out the Greens AND illustrate their incompetence as a family unit + their ideologically conservative ties that mimic right-wing propaganda. In this essay I will—

[bbygirl-aemond]

I know that the relationships are complex in Stormbreak however would you say that Aemond is developing Stockholm syndrome? I saw this mentioned in a comment and couldn't stop thinking about it.

ooh i've been waiting for an ask like this one so i can explain in more detail what i think aemond's relationship with daemon and rhaenyra is like right now in terms of power dynamics & overall healthiness.

to answer your specific question: no, i don't think he quite has stockholm syndrome. he has developed postivive feelings for his captors, but a key part of stockholm syndrome is that the feelings have no rational basis. they're simply a coping mechanism to try to increase your chances of survival and are honestly independent of the captors. neutral interactions are seen as positive, and positive interactions are seen as much more positive than they actually are. the excuses for why the victim is now sympathetic towards the captor are far-fetched ("i thought he had sad eyes and didn't want to do this") or completely nonexistent.

a big part of why aemond is now more open to his relationships is because most of his prejudices against the blacks have been corrected. this is a psychologically sound reason for his change of heart. the clearest example of this is with rhaenyra. he thought she wanted to kill him and his family, and it's at least 90% of why he feared her; it's not irrational that his feelings towards her became more positive once he found out this wasn't true.

oh also, two quick disclaimers:

1. some parts of this will always seem squidgy to modern readers because of the nature of arranged marriages. aemond married rhaenyra for political reasons, not because he liked her personality; but this would have always been the case for him no matter who he married.

2. rhaenyra is always going to be the sole monarch, and is always going to have more power than aemond as a result. but she's going to have this over everyone. think of queen elizabeth and prince phillip's relationship as portrayed in the crown; there are situations where she will probably have to use this power to set her foot down, even if she doesn't personally want to.

these two things are never going away, even in a best-case scenario, and even at the end of this work.

okay now that i've said all that, let me make it clear that this by no means indicates that the current situation is healthy or that aemond's ability to consent isn't compromised. we are not yet at the best-case scenario, but we'll get there! right now aemond isn't on equal footing with rhaenyra or daemon, but also within dragonstone as a larger whole. he has basically re-named his knights from jailors to protectors, but they're very much still there. like, even if he wanted to go on a walk on a whim, he wouldn't have the freedom to do so unless the guards chose to let him.

aemond hasn't even asked to see vhagar. you can bet that if he was truly himself, he would have already gone and seen her without even asking permission. but he hasn't done that, and he hasn't even bothered asking, because he's convinced that the answer will be no. he's convinced that, on some level, he's still a prisoner. so how does this prisoner mentality affect him? a fundamental part of being a prisoner is that your captors have the capacity to punish you, and you do not have the capacity to fight or flee. so you live in fear of punishment, and that creates a hesitance to say no, or even to disagree with your captor.

in this most recent chapter, aemond only offered his opinion when he was specifically asked. this is in part because he is afraid of voicing an opinion that rhaenyra might disagree with, so it's safer not to say anything at all. when he did speak, he was visibly nervous or uncomfortable, again because of that fear. and when rhaenyra went against his wishes in appointing his personal guard, even though he knew she didn't mean to, he was still too scared to speak up because he did not know if she would deny him and become angry. now, if rhaenyra knew this she would of course tell him not to worry and to follow his own desires; but she doesn't realize. neither does daemon.

so, in conclusion: big progress has been made with the dismantling of prejudices, but there needs to be more progress with the equating of power dynamics before we can get to the best-case scenario with these three.

[kaylamae2023]

Virtual Sketchbook 2

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Unity, Scale and Proportion, Balance, Emphasis and Subordination, Directional Forces, Repetition and Rhythm, all make up a piece's composition. It makes the piece look more appealing and draws your attention longer.

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5.2 Art Criticism - Figure 5.7 - Clothing and Customized Citroen B-12

Sonya Delaunay-Turk

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As you can see, the white lines are the highlighted directional forces. There are a lot of parallels and, with most of the lines being vertical. It makes the photo look consistent and pleasing to look at.

The green lines are highlighting how things are balanced so that there isn't too much action going on one side and not the other side. The car is dead center which shows symmetry. The woman is on the right side and the pillars are on the left side. If the woman was standing on the left side it wouldn't look as good.

One of the biggest things I noticed with this piece is of course the patterns. The boxes on the car match the woman's jacket. The photo could also be showing unity, with all the box like shapes.

The light colored building also contrasts with the bush, the window, and the the dark colored car and shadows. Because this is in black and white, and a film photo which means it had to be developed, there must be a lot of contrast so that the shapes are easy to make out.

The last thing I noticed was that the scale of the car is the size of the whole image. It also puts more emphasis on the car and less on the background.

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Color expresses life in so many ways. Whether it's tied to emotions, time of day or year, color themes, pastel or neon, etc. In my opinion, I think pastel colors like pastel pink, pastel blue, sage green, and neutral colors like beige, white, greys, browns, etc. describe my life the best. I don't really like saturated colors as much, in fact my whole wardrobe is mainly neutral and pastel shades. I used to live in Minnesota, and the color pallet was always very neutral forestry colors. Most of the time Minnesota is cloudy, but I like when the leaves turn orange and brown and it becomes sweater weather. I love when it snows and going ice skating. In Florida, I do like the scenery, but it's a lot different than Minnesota. I love the sunny weather and going to the beach, but the more muted tones of Minnesota are comforting to me.

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Medusa is usually portrayed as an evil villain who turned people to stone. However, there is actually more meaning behind her character. Medusa represents empowerment and strength, and a lot of people get tattoos of her because of this reason. I've always admired what she represents.

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[irenedubrovna]

A post regarding Euphoria for the benefit of myself and basically no one else

So, it really bothers me when people say Euphoria is groundbreaking, progressive media. Here’s a dissection of why I don’t think it is, because this is what I feel like doing at work:

The character of Rue is objectively great. She by far receives the least overt sexualization, and is treated neutrally in terms of active sexuality. She’s treated like a normal teenage girl with mental issues and an addiction to drugs. She falls in love with a girl who she pines for and places on a pedestal. The reason I think she is written this way is because she is a Sam Levinson proxy. She written with gender ambiguity and with little regard to the experiences she’d go through as a black gay female, probably because Sam Levinson has no insight to that aspect of life. Her performance is heightened of course by Zendaya, who breathes unique life to the Sam Levinson’s artistic extension, and without her performance this show would not get even half the acclaim it gets. Attribute that to Zendaya of course, because the director has done little to deserve this acclaim.

The rest of the females, sans Lexi, are pornified to a disgusting extent, not only due to the fact that they are supposed to be underage, but also because their existence as people is treated as being absolutely secondary to their sexual appeal. They are foremost presented in terms of their relation to sex. Cassie, Maddy, Jules, and Kat cannot be removed from their sexuality without disrupting the plot or their journeys in relation to the plot. Why are the females so intrinsically linked to uber fetishized versions of female sexuality, or uber fetishized versions of blossoming female sexual identity?

Maddy is presented not only scantily clad 90 percent of the time, but also dressed in a precariously unattainable sexual fashion. At any given time she is styled to look straight out of, simultaneously, a high fashion editorial, and a “barely legal” porno. She is airheaded and profane, and promiscuous, her mannerisms dictated by the adult films she’s “studied” in order to project an image of perfect hyper sexual femininity. She’s complacent in becoming a prototypical housewife because it will earn her a comfortable place as a trophy wife. She has no aspirations beyond that. So, let’s unpack all of that. Maddy’s role in the show is mostly passive. The most active thing she does in the plot is revenge fuck a man in the pool of a party. Nearly everything else she does in the show that is plot relevant is of someone else’s volition. Even less of what she in the show is related to anything other than a man. She is abused and then pressured into framing another man for said abuse. She has no agency as a character. The only notable difference to this rule is when she takes drugs at a carnival, knocks a pot of chili over, and calls her ex’s mom a cunt. Removed from her active sexual life and carefully cultivated aesthetic, she’s a trite stereotype of an unambitious girlfriend who gets treated poorly. I see people call Maddy iconic, but if she wasn’t gorgeous and well dressed, I doubt anyone would even think twice about her, let alone create fancams and Instagram pages dedicated to her. She exists as a plot device, and as pretty set dressing to build up the shows aesthetic. Her emotions are not well explored, her motivations are sexist, and she is often there to be demeaned, objectified, or to say a bad word. The most damning part of her involvement in this show is her episode where it is stated that she, as a fourteen year old girl, lost her virginity to an adult man, and it is stated she was in control of the situation. This is a dangerous thing to say about a character, to any audience, but especially a young one. To imply that a precocious young girl was in control during her first sexual encounter with a much much older man implies things that frankly border on rape apologist ideology. This show states this unflinchingly and with no further elaboration. If there’s one thing that tells you that Euphoria is a bad show, let it be that. Also, if there’s one thing that tells you about Sam Levinson as a person, and the way he views girls and women, let it fucking be that.

Jules is a young trans girl. She also likes to have sex with men as a means to “conquer femininity”. Scratch that, she likes to have degrading sex with older men in order to “conquer femininity”. This mindset is shown to be toxic, of course, but I think the problem with this idea in general is that there’s no deeper exploration for what this mindset means. It implies that she believes women are the sum of their intrigue and degradations. This mindset I can only assume would be a cultivation of dysphoria and internalized misogyny, which this series is absolutely not prepared to address in a tactful manner. Jules is a teenager with mental illness, trauma, and is undergoing an identity crisis. There’s something powerful in her character, something worth saying, however we only get trimmings of those meaningful things, and are ultimately left with a hurtful depiction of a trans girl because all of her musings on womanhood and identity are incomplete, and they fail to reach beyond the surface of their thesis statement. She wears colorful clothing, is overtly feminine and artistic in her presentation. Everything about her screams insecurity over her own womanhood. That is the crux of her character. Now, I think we should ask ourselves, is trans person who is insecure about their identity peak representation? Is this what trans people deserve? Is it “groundbreaking “? If this show was run by someone else, I might be inclined to say that there’s nothing insidious about this, but this is the guy that made Assassination Nation, so I think we know what he thinks of young women, the way they should be portrayed (that is, for the capitulation of a man) and realize his inclusion of a trans woman in his cast is no more meaningful than the inclusion of any other woman. Women to him are made to be categorized and should, at the end of the day, be easily palatable for the capitulation of a man. The device of having Jules being interested in older men and rough sex for identity reasons is transparent. Trans women are exploited and objectified with a similar fervor to cis women, the caveat being that they are “a forbidden fruit” of sorts to straight men. Jules is sissified, her presentation fetishistic. Her role in the plot is more involved. Her relationship with Rue is sweet, though toxic on both sides. She is ultimately betrayed, blackmailed, and snowballs into something of a manic episode, all well portrayed by Hunter Schafer, but I don’t think her inclusion in the show absolves it of any of its many sins.

Let’s talk about Cassie. Cassie is the Eurocentric beauty standard exemplified. She is the blonde haired blue eyed girl next store, and her boobs are of course always on display. She is notably promiscuous, something I say right off the bat because that’s how she’s introduced, as a so called slut through the words of the devil (Nate Jacobs). She is a girl with daddy issues, which we are all familiar with at this point. Her sexual boundaries begin and end at the whim of her partner. The terms of her consent are much like the terms of consent of many young girls brainwashed by society and the rising tide of degradation porn: everything is alright as long as you provide them comfort and affirmation afterward. You can touch them roughly without asking, you can use them as a tool to affirm your masculinity. This is the way men prefer their women now: just broken enough to say yes to anything they want. It’s become a joke at this point. Men like girls with issues, but only the ones that will feed their own desires. Cassie Howard is meek. Her inclusion in the plot I suppose ties to themes of drug addiction and how it divides and destroys the people you love. It doesn’t show what it does to her beyond shaping her sexual encounters, which is no surprise. Overall I’d say Cassie is in this roster of females as the most traditional categorically, in relation to how men view women and further how they sexualize them. She has a relationship with someone who doesn’t really love her. That mostly what she does here. Gets used. Doesn’t drive the plot or conflict much. More pretty set dressing. More aesthetics. How this show consists of so many women but is driven so much by men is unsurprising, and, again, very enlightening in the grand scheme of things.

Lastly we touch on Kat. I’d like to begin with the fact that self actualization through sexual exploration, in a show run by a man, is just a cloak for a woman to gratify the audience with her sexuality. Regardless of whether or not she is plus sized, this is overt objectification. She is on this show to be sexy. Beyond that, the fact that a minor using sex work as a form of liberation is disgusting. Whether or not she is portrayed as “owning” her sexuality is negligible, and speaks to the same mindset discussed with Maddy. Minors cannot fucking consent to sex, sexual acts, or anything within the confines of such. It’s crazy that this occurs with two different characters in such a similar way. It has echoes of “Well, she looked older..” and “Well, she wanted it..” or “She’s advanced for her age”. Never, not once in the events of the series is there meaningful introspection on what doing this kind of thing does to a minor. Moreover, these acts are explicit, and made clearly for sexual gratification. None of these things are absolved by the fact that she’s plus sized. If anything, her body type is fetishized in this context. It’s also another case of a “good girl to bad girl” transformation, which are archaic and, of course, sexist. With the rise of adult websites targeting minors for explicit content, this is even more reprehensible. Once again, in terms of representation, is this really what speaks to you as progressive? Groundbreaking? A girl gains control of her own narrative by having sex with lots of men. She gains control by being sexy. She gains control by dehumanizing and objectifying herself. No she doesn’t. Media controlled by men will tell this story to you thousands of times, don’t listen because she’s bigger than a size four.

ALL OF THESE CHARACTERS ARE UNDERAGE. ALL OF THEM HAVE EXPLICIT SEX SCENES, EVEN THE SEXUAL ASSAULT IS MADE CINEMATICALLY PORNIFIED. THESE SHOTS ARE MADE TO BE OBJECTIVELY SEXY. THIS IS NOT A CASE OF SOMEONE CREATING SOMETHING FOR THE SAKE OF REALISM. IT IS ABOUT MAKING SCENES THAT SPEAK TO A MALE AUDIENCE. THAT CATER TO THE MALE GAZE. ARGUE WITH THE WALL.

I won’t go further into the plot, other characters, or the structure or the episodes for sake of brevity, but I felt compelled to air my thoughts on this to the void. I can only hope I was critical enough that Sam Levinson will one day see this and cry because another bad feminist thinks something that he made sucks

[darkqueenofshadows85]

Shadow the Hedgehog (2005) Story Review

Disclaimer: I will be judging this game by the plot and writing, not the gameplay.

Introduction

Greetings, mortals! For today's review, we'll be looking at one of my all-time favorite Sonic game stories, Shadow the Hedgehog.

This game marks the beginning of what is commonly referred to as the Dark Era, which I believe got its name due to the darker storylines and grim atmosphere.

This is part of a series of reviews in which I’ll be going into slightly more detail about my thoughts on the main series Sonic game storylines, and why I think they're either well written and engaging, or an absolute trainwreck (or somewhere in-between). I’ll be giving my stance on the character portrayals, visuals, soundtracks, voice actors, and what themes/messages they had to offer. Keep in mind that these are just my own personal thoughts. Whether you agree or disagree, feel free to share your own thoughts and opinions!

Anyway, let us begin! ^^

Plot

Shadow with amnesia gets visions of Maria, he wonders who she is. Suddenly, Black Doom and his Black Arms army arrive. Black Doom asks Shadow to collect the seven Chaos Emeralds as promised. Shadow decides that Black Doom is the key to his past so he joins in. The player then chooses what Shadow does next: joining Black Doom and the Black Arms, joining Sonic and friends, or going alone.

Characters

Like in the previous games, Shadow is portrayed quite well here. They got the edginess just right, to the point where it isn't overwhelming and stupid like in the Meta Era. I like how he gradually regains his memories and rediscovers himself. I honestly never understood why some people blame ShTH for how Shadow was portrayed in the Meta Era, saying that this game is what ruined the character. I disagree. Shadow has amnesia in this game, so he has a narrative reason to be different, and when his amnesia goes away, he becomes the Shadow that we know from the 2000's. The Meta Era games have no narrative reason for Shadow being what it is.

Sonic and the other characters didn't really contribute much to the plot, and they were just kinda there for the most part. However, the Chaotix did make a significant contribution to the plot during the climax.

I love Black Doom because he is the most complex villain in the entire Sonic franchise. Sure, he did seem power hungry, but in a way it seems more he desired to obtain power in order to keep his people thriving. Like, it's very clear that he cares a lot about his people, and sometimes he does get a little bit selfish in his desires, but who doesn't? He's still a villain, but a villain with understandable and even somewhat sympathetic motivations for what he does. That's why I not only consider him to be my favorite Sonic villain, but also one of my favorite Sonic characters, period.

As for Dr. Eggman, he tried to convince Shadow that he was an android in the Neutral route, the Eggman Empire went to war with both the United Federation/GUN and the Black Arms, and he did later confirm that Shadow was in fact the original Shadow who we saw in SA2, so that's at least something.

The GUN Commander's backstory makes no sense. He was friends with Maria aboard the ARK and then he saw her get killed by a GUN soldier, so now he works for GUN, the same organization that killed his childhood friend. What the hell? Also, why did the GUN Commander blame Shadow for Maria's death? That never made sense to me either.

Visuals

To summarize, the CGI cutscenes look fantastic, and the in-game character models, while dated, do look really good for their time. In fact, I'm actually quite partial to the Heroes/ShTH character models myself. I think they look adorable ^w^

Soundtrack

This game's soundtrack is my absolute favorite out of all of the Sonic soundtracks. I love all of the vocal tracks to be honest, but my personal favorite is the main theme, I Am... (All of Me).

🎶“I See No Hear No Evil!!!!!”🎶

Voice Acting

ShTH was the first Sonic game to introduce the 4Kids voice cast, and honestly, I consider them to be the best Sonic voice cast. Jason Griffith is the perfect voice for Shadow in my opinion. He perfectly captures Shadow's dark, mysterious personality. I absolutely ADORE Sean Schemmel's voice work as Black Doom. His voice is so soft and dark... >w<

Some of the other voices I liked include Jason Griffith (Sonic), Mike Pollock (Dr. Eggman), Dan Green (Knuckles), Lisa Ortiz (Amy), Jeff Kramer (E-123 Omega), James Carter Cathcart (Vector), Amy Birnbaum (Charmy), David Wills (Espio), Rebecca Honig (Maria), among others.

Theme/Message

The central theme of the story is search for identity. Shadow's goal in this game is trying to find out who he was in the past and what his purpose in life is, because he has amnesia (continuing the narrative from where Heroes left off) and nobody wants to tell him about his past for some reason.

Conclusion

I fucking LOVE this game's story. Despite having divided opinions on it within the fandom, Shadow's solo game as a whole is not as bad as some people say it is. Quite the opposite, in fact. Sure, it does have its flaws, and there are some things in the narrative that don't make sense (the GUN Commander's motivations and backstory in particular comes to mind), but for me, the pros definitely outweigh the cons. I love the story, I love the soundtrack, and most of all, I love Black Doom, he's the best part of ShTH, and the best part of the franchise >w<

💜💜💜💜💜💜

My final score:

5.8/5 (Amazing)

[zevlors-tail]

So, I'm through episode 2 in Tears of Themis, and I would like to give a little review and say some things.

Spoilers for episodes 1, 2, and the beginning of Vyn's story BTW!!!

As far as functionality and storyline, those things are great. I am extremely interested in where the story is going, and the characters and plot are captivating. The game runs pretty smooth too, and it's not too different from Obey Me in terms of a card system and the episodes, though I do feel it could have been made a bit simpler...

So now that I've given my praise, I want to address a couple...issues that I have with the actual content of the game. 😬

I'll just be blunt. I don't like the fact that so far, mental illness has been portrayed the way it has. Quite frankly I think it's not only extremely harmful and misrepresenting of those who actually are affected by it, but also in poor taste to include it in such a prevalent way in an otome game. I'm not sure I understand the point behind it other than using it as an excuse for a motive for some of the cases and situations, which to me is absolutely just...yuck. And for that matter, there have been no warnings whatsoever for players who might be sensitive to those subjects either. It just pops up in the story randomly.

In Vyn's very first story segment, you literally see someone with SH marks, and it's MC's job to somehow read into that and come to the conclusion that one of Vyn's students is suicidal. In epside 2, bipolar disorder (idk the current/correct term or if that one's outdated, I'm sorry! I'm only quoting the term from the game!) is literally used as a piece of evidence and the motive as to why a man murdered his wife. Also, let's not forget the way Estelle literally used Janus' illness against him to try and manipulate him to go public with their marriage, saying "I have to take care of you and your depression, but who's going to take care of me?" That was quite possibly the most toxic line from this game I've read yet. And even in episode one, there was a brief mention of Grandpa Vern having depression after everything that transpired with Pedro and Penny's Comfort Foods, but MC and Artem quickly pass it off with something along the lines of "Well the trial's over now, so he'll be fine!"

Are you kidding me? 😳 I just feel like if you can't write a compelling murder mystery plot without having to make someone mentally ill to give them a motive, maybe you shouldn't be writing that plot. Also, you're misrepresenting everyone with mental illness and spreading misinformation about what it's really like. In real world situations, it's never black and white like that. It's so different for everyone, and it cannot be 'cured' or just 'go away' just because the main stressor or source of the problem does. It doesn't work like that, but I digress...

Note: I didn't really mention it here, but because I bring up Mystic Messenger in a later comparison, I would like to note that while MysMes also had a similar issue to this (ie. Rika, her cult, and mental illness), I feel that it was handled significantly better and multiple characters recognized her wrongdoings and condemned her and her actions for it. I haven't played through Saeran or V's route, so I can't vouch for that content. I just feel that MysMes handled it better (not perfectly), which is why it wasn't brought up here.

I think I've said enough about that. On to my next qualm:

I've noticed there have been several conversations about MC's figure and weight already, including Luke saying something akin to "I've always thought you looked too skinny," and MC thinking they were fat or asking/acusing Luke of calling them fat. I can't remember exactly what was said or mentioned but it made me feel uncomfortable for several reasons. The first is that weight didn't really need to be mentioned at all, and that is a particular sensitivity of mine, and the second being that Luke calling MC skinny is, well- it assumes that every single player is...skinny.

That is quite obviously not the case. Whatever their reasoning for it, they've now made every person who isn't considered skinny feel left out and shitty. I would even go as far as to say it's borderline fat-phobic with the type of comments that were made.

And on that topic...there is also no representation for POC whatsoever when it comes to MC. As far as I know, MC isn't customizable. Someone correct me if I'm wrong on this, but I never saw an option to change skin color, hair color, eye color, or just icons in general. Why? I'm tired of the "skinny white girl" rhetoric. Not everyone is skinny, not everyone is white, and not everyone is a girl or feminine.

Which leads me to my final big issue! I understand that an otome game's target audience is usually women, so I understand MC being a girl. I do. However- in comparison with Obey Me and even Mystic Messenger, the MC in Tears of Themis is overwhelmingly feminine. Again, I understand target audience, but come on. Even Mystic Messenger only occasionally poked at the MC's specific gender and even hid their eyes so make it slightly more anonymous/neutral (not to say the game wasn't in the wrong for it, bc they very well could have made the MC gender neutral apart from the CGI's), but I feel like this game specifically really paints a picture of a female MC that's extremely hard for me to relate to as a nonbinary person.

Also, even though I'm supposed to be the main character, it feels like I'm playing through someone else's life. They've fleshed out MC so much that she isn't actually relatable anymore, at least in my opinion. She's unnaturally upbeat, has an entire story about her childhood, specific hobbies and a designated work place, and has an entire appearance on screen. And unlike in both MysMes and Obey Me, you actually don't get the option to choose different responses to characters. It's just a set story. The only place you get to choose anything is when you're presenting evidence and testimony in court. So no personalization of MC is really my issue here, I think.

Props to Obey Me for making MC gender neutral, and props to MysMes for at least keeping MC relatable and giving them choices to respond with even if the game set their gender. And hey, MysMes even had different icons to choose from for MC too. Tears of Themis, what's the hold up? 🤨

It's generally a good game when it comes to it's working functions and systems, and I understand that no one is obligated to tag triggers, really. But it's still a game, and it's not above critique.

I give this game...3 stars out of 5. Functionality is great, plot is interesting when it's not misrepresenting, and the love interests are interesting and attractive. The art is beautiful. However, it ranks third on the list of otome games I've played so far (and I've only played three, meaning it's last on the list).

Obey Me takes the cake at number one with it's beautiful art and gender neutral MC as well as its multiple love interests and ridiculously hilarious plot. Mystic Messenger comes in at a solid second place, also with beautiful art and an interesting plot. MysMes also gets props for the way their hourglass system works and the way the story unfolded in different routes and all the different endings you could get. And finally we've got Tears of Themis in third...it could stand to do a bit better.

Well, that's pretty much all I got. Others are welcome to add on to this as well. If I'm wrong about something, please let me know respectfully.

[walkerwords]

“The Savior Sessions” Part 28 of 33 - Negan x GN!Reader

IMAGE CREDIT: AMC

SERIES MASTERLIST

Summary: Negan is slowly getting on good terms with the Alpha, the reader is slowly becoming desperate, and Alpha has a plan in motion. 

Word Count: 4243

Warning: Swearing

Song I Wrote To: “Little Black Submarines” by The Black Keys

Note: I am trying to finish this before the 28th when TWD returns. Remember, this will not go past the 10B finale. Some of these chapters are getting shorter, but that is mainly because Chapter 30, which is the hilltop battle, will be quite long! ALL OFFICIAL DIALOG IS PROPERTY OF AMC.

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"Well, that's...creative,” Negan said as he was looking at the disassembled body that sat at the Southern border. Negan thought the tiki torches were a nice touch even if they were a tad dramatic and that was coming from him.

It was early that morning when Alpha approached him and told him to follow her. Knowing his history with her enemy, she had asked for his counsel on an issue. Considering they hadn’t known each other long, Negan was confused but went along with it anyways. However as soon as he saw what was at the border, he knew what was going on. The other side had finally made their move. 

"They are declaring war," Alpha said, tilting her head to the side. Negan noticed that she did that a lot and it made him both uncomfortable and intrigued. 

"Isn't that what you did when you put nine of their people on pikes?" Negan asked. Alpha looked at him with a neutral expression. Negan shrugged, the bat on his back shifting on his leather jacket. Alpha had returned his weapon shortly after they had met. She said that if he had even attempted to try to swing it without her permission Beta would gut him within seconds. Negan didn't doubt that. The giant man was even more psychotic than Simon was and that was saying something. Negan was always wishing for a gun whenever Beta was around and he could bet that you were too. 

"The archer?" Alpha asked, her voice quiet but still very calm and emotionless. Negan took a few steps towards the dead man and kneeled to look at the body and then up at the decapitated head.

Seeing as there were no penetrating wounds that Daryl’s bow would have caused, Negan didn't think this was his handy work. Also, if it had been Daryl, he probably wouldn’t have taken the head off. Daryl was ruthless when he needed to be, but removing the head like this was too personal and if Negan knew Daryl even a little bit, he would have done something more simple. No, this was someone else. 

"No," Negan said, moving the body onto its back. The headless body reminded him too much of Glenn and Abraham, especially with the amount of blood. It was never a good moment when he thought about his victims, especially when he was portraying a persona who was supposed to enjoy the kill rather than shying away from it. Shutting away those memories, Negan examined the other wounds carefully. 

Looking at the clean cut at the neck and then the two hits to the chest and eye, Negan realized something. It was a clean kill with a sharp blade. There wasn't any type of torture or prolonging of death. With the depth and width of the strikes, he finally recognized the blade.

Jesus' broadsword. Your sword.

"Dammit," he muttered under his breath.

"Do you know who did this?" Alpha asked. Negan shut his eyes for a second before turning to her with his own neutral expression, not letting her see how affected he was by his discovery. 

"Couldn't say for sure, most of those assholes handle blades."

"Shame, he was a good soldier," said Alpha. Negan furrowed his brow.

"He was one of your men?"

"Sent him in to...gain information," she said. "Didn't think he'd be this foolish to be caught."

"Can't all be winners," Negan said, turning his attention back to the body. He had seen a lot of dead bodies since the world ended, but there was something about this one that was bothering him. You were not this...cold. At least not since he had gotten to know you. There was something off about the way you had done this. Anyone else, besides maybe Daryl, wouldn’t have noticed, but he did. 

Negan had only seen this deadly side of you a few times and it made him do a double-take every time. The first time had been that first night in the clearing. You were nearly out of it, blood trickling down your collar. 

He had just threatened Rick and was laying down the rules when his eyes had fallen on you. Dwight had to keep his hands on you in order for you to stay upright, but you were still hanging on. Your arm was reaching out to Daryl next to you, not quite touching him, but enough for the archer to know you were there. 

Your eyes, however, were switching from staring at the ground to staring at him. Negan wasn’t sure if you could actually see him at that point. Throughout his speech, his eyes kept flickering back to you as you fought to stay upright and awake.

When he killed Abraham, your eyes never left Lucille and the blood that dripped off her wooded form. It was only after he had Daryl pinned to the ground and Glenn’s blood was splashed against your face that you locked eyes with him and in those irises, he saw pure fury. It wasn’t long after that first look when you fell over from the head trauma. 

However, that one look was enough for him to remember you. The second time he saw that look was when he had brought Carl home from the Sanctuary. You didn’t seem to care about Spencer and while you were pissed about Olivia, nothing bothered you as much as seeing him parading Carl around Alexandria. While he didn’t speak to you, seeing your glare from the top of the Gazebo as he walked in had made him remember your face from the clearing. 

It was from then on that he found himself always looking for you when his people met yours. Little did he know that your talents with a rifle had you always watching him rather than the other way around. You were always so precise with your shots so he shouldn’t have been surprised to see how clinical you had been with Dante’s body. However, the idea of you removing his head and doing this made him a bit sick. Though, he didn’t let Alpha see a second of that. 

“How are you going to retaliate?” Negan asked. 

“I have something in motion,” Alpha simply said. 

“Can I get a hint?” Negan asked with a sly grin. Alpha just looked at him with her signature look and Negan raised his hand in surrender. “No worries. Gotta win the boss’ respect, I get it. 

“You talk too much,” she observed as she turned away from the border. 

“So I’ve been told,” he said, catching up to her. “Force of habit, I’m afraid.” 

“Tell me more about these people who held you captive,” Alpha said. 

“Not much more to say,” Negan said. “Their old leader is dead and their new ones don’t really know what the hell they’re doing. Got some good fighters, but they don’t have a central person. They don’t have an alpha,” he said. 

“Then they have weak spots,” Alpha realized. 

“More than one, I bet,” Negan said. 

“Have you seen my daughter with them?” she asked and Negan forced himself not to hesitate. 

“Lydia, right?” he asked and Alpha nodded once. “She’s around, seems to be alright.” Negan tried to get a line on Alpha’s reaction to hearing about her daughter, but like with everything, the woman remained stoic. He also then noticed some discoloration on her arms. It didn’t take long for him to realize they were the same wounds that adorned Lydia’s arms. Negan fought to keep relaxed as he remembered what Alpha had done to her child. You had told him about the abuse, it was one night when he had been able to spend the night with you…

Months earlier…

The cold air from the winter weather outside seemed to be seeping through the walls as if they were made of paper.

Negan lay next to you in your bed, his arms securely around your waist. He had only woken up a few moments ago and couldn’t help but watch as you slept peacefully next to him. These nights when Michonne and Gabriel found that they still had a heart and would let him spend the night indoors rather than freezing in his cell were his favourite.

Whatever the reason was, he was just happy to be there with you. With a deep breath, you turned towards him, slowly waking up. Your eyes opened just a bit to see him and when you did, a tired smile spread across your face. “Why are you awake?” you whispered. 

“Why are you?” he countered, leaning down to kiss your forehead. Being able to kiss you or hold your hand whenever he could, was the greatest gift anyone could have given him. Negan was desperate for your touch and whenever you gave it to him, he relished in it.

Reaching up, you caressed his face as he leaned into your palm. Even with the cold weather, he had stripped off his shirt, using his own body heat to keep you as warm as possible. Dancing your fingers across the tattoos on his chest, he shivered under your touch. Just as he was about to pull you on top of him, a noise broke the tension.

Confused, you both looked at each other before sitting up in bed. A second later and the noise happened again and Negan finally realized where it was coming from. Nudging you, he pointed over the side of the bed. Crawling to the edge, you looked down to see Lydia fast asleep on your floor, a blanket thrown over her as she softly snored. 

You and Negan shared a look then that said everything you both were thinking: the teenager was scared. Lydia must have snuck into your bedroom just as you both had fallen asleep. She had been staying in the guest room downstairs, but you now figured that she wasn’t used to sleeping alone. 

“Do we wake her?” you asked him. Negan shook his head, grabbing you again and pulling you back into bed. He slid his arms around you and tucked your head under his chin. 

“Let her sleep,” he said in your ear. “The girl has been through enough.”

“And yet she feels safe enough to sleep in here? She barely knows me, knows us,” you argued.

“She trusts you,” he said. “She needs you.”

“She needs someone who can protect her from her mother,” you said. “I won’t let Alpha lay another hand on her. She is never going to be hurt by someone she loves again.” 

“Her mother is abusive?” Negan asked and you just nodded.

“Shit,” he swore, pressing his nose into the back of your neck. 

“I have to protect her, Negan,” you said as you rolled over and lay your head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. 

“You will,” he promised. “We will.” Looking up at him, he leaned in and kissed you firmly before tugging the blanket up further onto your shoulders. 

“I love you,” you whispered.

“I love you, too,” Negan said. “Forever.”

Negan was pulled out of the memory as he and Alpha arrived back at the Whisperer’s main camp. An ache had opened up in his chest as he thought about you, but he kept it suppressed. He had come too far to mess up now. Especially since Alpha had taken an interest in him. 

As Alpha went off to do whatever she did during the day, Negan began scouting the camp. He checked out how many people were in her little army and the kind of weaponry they had. There was no way that she would have everything out on display for some newcomer, but he was getting a decent idea of who these Whisperers were and he hated them more by the second. 

It was a little while later when he ran into one of Alpha’s scouts. The man looked worried, but angry as well. “What’s got you all freaked out?” he asked the man. 

“Enemy near border,” was all the man said. 

“Did ya tell the boss?” 

“Can’t find the Alpha,” the scout said. 

“Big man went that way,” Negan said, pointing towards where he saw Beta disappear earlier. The scout nodded to him and went on his way. While Negan knew he should be doing more to be seen as a “team player”, curiosity got the best of him and he headed towards the border from which the scout was coming from. 

It wasn’t far, and he figured it was probably Carol trying to figure out a weakness in Alpha’s defenses. However, it could have been another body drop, which would only light Alpha’s fury even more. Then again, Negan wasn’t sure if she really cared if a few of her men and women were sacrificed for her greater good. Just another thing Negan hated about the woman. 

Continuing through the thick trees, it took him a bit longer to reach the ridge that looked over the specific border he was looking for. As soon as he made it to the tree line, he was struck by what he saw. It wasn’t Carol at all or even Daryl. 

It was you. 

You, and the young woman he knew as Enid, were walking along the invisible line that separated your territory from Alpha’s. Walkers were following you as you and Enid took them out with quick and fast strikes of your sword and her knife. 

His heart jumped in his chest at the sight of you. He couldn’t hear what you were saying, but there was something about your body language that made him worried. 

There was a hardness to you that he hadn’t seen in a while. There was no doubt in his mind now that you had been the one to put the Whisperer’s head on the pike. Watching as you killed the Walkers, all he wanted to do was reveal himself, to tell you that he was still there, but he couldn’t. Still, he didn’t move as you continued to cut down the undead enemy, whether it was risky or not.

-------

The weather was heating up and you didn’t like it at all.

Kicking out at another Walker, you kept walking, ignoring Enid’s looks that she had been sending you since you had met up with her earlier in the day. “You know, if you want to say something, just say it,” you finally said. 

“I’m not sure you want to hear it,” Enid said. 

“Try me,” you said. Enid sighed but finally said her piece. 

"Antagonizing her wasn’t the best idea, (Y/N)," Enid said as she pulled her blade out of another Walker.

"What else was I supposed to do? I am sick of playing offense," you said, slashing down another Walker who came at you. Flicking away the blood off your sword you continued forward. It had been a long day and a long night. Siddiq was finally resting with Coco not far from him. Rosita was feeling better and everything back home was finally getting back to normal. It was only the external force that threatened your family now.

"You need a strategy," Enid said and even with your back turned to her, you knew that she was giving you one of her "doctor looks".

"I have one," you argued.

"Is that why Lydia is out there by herself?" Enid asked. Looking over your shoulder, you narrowed your eyes.

"I didn't tell you that for you to judge me," you said. After reviewing the maps, Lydia noticed a few landmarks that you had circled in red. She was sure that she knew where she could start looking. According to Lydia if Negan was your family, he was hers as well. Lydia had left early that morning with the promise that she would be back within a day or so.

"I can't believe you let her out there alone," Enid said.

"She knows what she's doing," you argued.

"She's a child!"

"So were you when you fought against the Saviors," you reminded her.

"That was different," Enid said.

"No it wasn't," you said. "Lydia was raised in this world. She knows what needs to be done and so do I."

"You're losing yourself in this vendetta against Beta and this drive to find Negan."

“Weren’t you just telling me that it was okay that I was still doing that?” you asked her. 

“I didn’t mean for you to go all slasher film on Dante,” she accused. 

“I had to send a message,” you said, ducking under another Walker’s arms and shoving your blade into the back of its skull, sending it to the ground to join the others. 

“To Alpha or to Negan?” she asked. 

“Does it matter?” you snapped back. 

“You still think he’s around, don’t you?” she asked. Pausing, you took a moment to collect yourself. When you had invited Enid out to join you, you hadn’t expected a full-blown interrogation. You figured that she would still be rather reserved from the trauma she had sustained, but clearly, she was doing better than you thought. 

“Yes,” you said with a sigh. “I don’t know what he’s doing, but I don’t believe that he’s completely gone.”

“What if…” Enid began. “What if you’re wrong?”

“I’m not,” you said defiantly. “I can feel it. He’s not lost and I will find him.”

“Just prepare yourself, okay?” she offered, landing a comforting hand on your shoulder. You let the weight of her touch soothe you as you got your thoughts together. It hadn’t been that long since you had last seen him, but it had been long enough. Waking up in the middle of the night, you found yourself reaching for him next to you only to find the spot empty. That coldness that echoed in your blankets mimicked itself in your heart and it was only a matter of time before your entire body froze over. 

You needed him home and you needed him now. 

A chill ran up your spine just then, that feeling of being watched returning. Turning towards the tree line, you narrowed your eyes. You knew it was a risk to be this close to the border, but you were willing to risk it. However, if the Whisperers were watching you this closely, it wasn’t for regular observation. 

“What’s wrong?” Enid asked, noticing the change in your behavior. 

“We need to go,” you said, gripping your sword tighter. You began to move back towards the main road when your radio lit up. 

“(Y/N), come in,” Carol’s voice crackled over the line. 

“I’m here,” you responded. 

“I need you back home,” she said simply and that was all you needed. 

“On my way,” you said before hooking the radio back onto your belt. “Come on, I gotta get back,” you said to Enid who began to follow you to the point where you both would turn off to go home to your respective communities. Just as you were about to leave the clearing, you glanced back over at the tree line and you swore you saw someone watching you. 

---------

Negan watched as you disappeared again and was frozen in that spot for a while before deciding to head back. 

It was dark when he finally returned to the camp. If anyone asked, Negan would say he got lost. He didn’t want to be around people and he didn’t want to be around Beta especially. He needed a moment to clear his head, though that did turn into several hours. 

Arriving back into the fold, Negan was glad to see that he wasn’t met with spears or blades. In fact, it seemed as if nobody noticed that he was actually gone. Negan figured that nobody would really care if he had left. Then again, as he approached the fire, he did happen to see one person who looked up as soon as he was in view. Alpha had returned from wherever she had been.

The woman looked incredibly determined and actually quite smug. It made Negan a bit nervous. Still, he sauntered over to her, leaning into his hips with that sly grin on his face. “Just the Alpha I was looking for,” he said. 

“What do you want?” she asked. 

“I wanted to talk,” he said. 

“About?”

“Well, I hear we're supposed to be keeping our eyes peeled for a spy lurkin' in the woods. I have an alternate theory to run by you,” Negan offered. Alpha gestured for him to sit down and he did. 

“Go on,” she said. 

“The spy you're looking for? Right here in your camp,” Negan said, enacting the next part of his plan. Divide and conquer. 

“My people know the enemy have nothing to offer except lies,” Alpha said. 

“Maybe they do. Maybe they don't. Believe it or not, I have been where you are right now. And if you don't want to end up where I am right now, I suggest you zig where I zagged,” said Negan. Alpha narrowed her eyes. 

“You and I, very different,” Alpha said with a dismissive look, but Negan didn’t back down. 

“I had people. I had a system. I thought they believed in it, just like you,” a flash of Simon’s traitorous face echoed in his mind and Negan pushed it down. “See, the thing is, you stay king or queen long enough, with people telling you all day, every day that your shit don't stink, eventually, you start to believe it. The thing is it still stinks.”

“Who?” Alpha asked, getting impatient.

“Well, based on my own personal experience, I'd say look closer to home. And, no, I am not talkin' about Frankenstein's Hemorrhoid. That big dude is clearly a goose stepper. But the little one?” Negan said, referencing Gamma. “You see, she is close enough to you that she knows exactly where that horde is. But she guards the border, which means she's close enough to the enemy that they could've gotten to her.” 

Negan had overheard Gamma a day ago telling Alpha about a man with a metal arm. Negan wasn’t surprised to hear that Aaron was trying to be a hero. He was the type. However, this news did offer him an advantage. He didn’t think Alpha would care much about Aaron, which was good because his death was the last thing Negan wanted. He actually quite liked the man. Gamma, however, Negan didn’t care at all what happened to her.

Alpha didn’t like his tone all that much after his suggestion. “I will not have you sowing paranoia,” she said and then drew her knife, levelling it at his groin. “If you breathe a word of this to anyone, I will take these,” she said, pressing the blade to his jeans. 

“Fair enough,” Negan breathed as the blade bit into his inner thigh. When Alpha withdrew the blade, she returned to staring into the fire with a proud look on her face. While he didn’t plan on sowing any further paranoia, he had planted that small seed in her brain which was exactly what he wanted to do. After a moment longer, curiosity got the best of him.

“You look rather thrilled,” he said, breaking the silence. “Did I miss something while I was out taking my evening stroll?” he asked. Alpha looked back at him as she cleaned her nails with her knife. 

“Our problem won’t be lasting much longer,” she said and a coldness fell over Negan. He had a sudden image of your head on a spike and it made him feel rather sick. Like always, he pushed it down. 

“What did you do?” he asked in a teasing tone, leaning closer to her. Alpha looked at him and there was mischief in her eyes. It was the kind that made Gotham villains so special and the kind that Negan really didn’t like.

“Carol wanted the horde,” Alpha said slowly, “and so I gave it to her.” Negan didn’t know what that meant, but he didn’t like the sound of it. He knew that Carol was out for blood when it came to Alpha and that she had been quite reckless with her vendetta. He remembered the day he went home and found out that she had taken a shot at the leader of the Whisperers. He wouldn’t be surprised if she had tried again. However, based on how elated Alpha looked at the moment, it seemed that Carol had lost this round. 

Looking back at her, Alpha was watching him with a fire in her eyes that wasn’t solely mischief. If the circumstances were different and he wasn’t in love with you, he may have taken her up on the question that was so clearly written in her irises. Yet, he knew he wouldn’t. If there was any chance that he would get back to you, he didn’t need something that big weighing on him. You could forgive a lot, but him taking a tumble with the enemy would not be something you could turn the other cheek with. 

Negan distracted himself then, looking around the camp at the masked soldiers. However, one in particular was still missing.

Where was Beta? 

--------

In the dark of a cave, survivors struggled to find the light. 

Then as night settled on Alexandria, a grave was no longer empty as a large shape, armed with knives, emerged into enemy territory.

TAGS: @lucillethings @cameronsails @stark-dreams @amaroho @thanossexual @yes-sir-hotchner @boom-bunny @delusionalteenagewhispers @scootankle @ritajammer21 @writteriguess @tea-atfive @jennydehavilland @waspyyy @yespleasejayhalstead @hoemadegrace @writingdeadangel @huffledor-able541 @pulplorrd @felicisimor

[cacti-are-like-flamingos]

addiction

Pairing: Dabi x Reader

Warnings: Serious themes - mentions of drugs and addiction, depression, swearing

Summary: The pain of injuries can only be tolerated for so long before they become too much. 

Reader is gender neutral

...

Sometimes it was bearable, other times? Dabi straight up wanted to die. He was tired of the endless cycle of healing and then burning his wounds over and over and over again. He just wanted it to stop. Why wouldn’t it stop? I mean he tried everything. He tried not using his Quirk for a year, but for some reason, it just didn’t get better. He thought that if he could stop using the main cause of his never-ending torture, he’d be fine. But then...why did he still want to die? Then again, there’s his past, and that by itself would make anyone want to kill themselves.

Sighing, the raven haired stretched over the couch, his hand reaching over to the bottle of pills sitting beside the raggedy couch on the termite infested nightstand. Unscrewing the cap, he quickly took two little white pills before popping them in his mouth and swallowing them down. Placing the cap back on, he examined the bottle itself. See-through orange plastic with a worn, dirty white label on it. The corners of it peeling off to reveal sticky black residue. 

OxyContin

(oxycodone hydrochloride)

Take 1 tablet every 3 hours as needed

He scoffed under his breath. 

Every three hours my ass, he thought. By this point, his body was too dependent on the readily available drug. It needed it to survive. And all he could do was be a slave to the need.

Reaching into the inside pocket of his coat, Dabi pulled out a small box of cigarettes, taking one out before putting the box back to its rightful place. With a snap of his fingers, he activated a small blue flame at his fingertips. Pushing the tip of the stick to the flame, he quickly put the flame out before placing the stick up to his lips. The flesh molding over the cigarette beautifully as he breathed in the nicotine. And there folks, was another addiction of his. Nicotine. He remembered the first time he smoked, he was young, possibly around 13 years old. In his mind, it was bound to happen. Afterall, his quirk was fire based and his father’s as well. Wherever there’s smoke, there’s fire, he remembered someone once telling him.

He was 13 years old when a group of gangbangers came up to him and asked him for a lighter. He legit has no clue as to why they would as a literal child if they had a lighter but whatever. Instead of pulling out one, he snapped his fingers just like now. They were so impressed by his Quirk that the gifted him a cig, telling him that it was good and shit like that. In the end, peer pressure got to him and he took a huff. Sounded like an asthmatic afterwards but yeah. That was his life. Pills, cigarettes, and depression. You’d think he’d be an alcoholic; however, surprisingly enough, he didn’t like the taste of alcohol much. I mean he drank, yeah, but liberally. Nonetheless, he’s life was literally depressing. There was the occasional excitement he received after joining the League of Villains, scaring kids was beautiful. Putting Pro-Heroes on their toes was also beautiful. But it was also quite tiring. Especially with Shigaraki’s constant babbling about stupid shit. And then, all of a sudden, Shigaraki and Kurogiri call for a meeting. 

They want to introduce a new member to the team?

What?

He knows everything and yet, he didn’t know this? Impossible.

And here you come. Strolling through the door with a small smile n your face, your eyes sparkling with both nervousness and excitement. Yet, the faintest hint of death rang about them. 

You were a sight to behold. That much he could admit.

“This is (Y/n). She’s a powerful player in our game against the Heroes so treat her well.” Was all Shigaraki said.

Soon after, Toga had taken on the responsibility to annoy you until your ears bled.

He wanted to say you were different, but in all honesty, you really weren’t. You had your fair share of traumas, you had bloodlust, you had a sickness. You just went about it in a different method. You never once really laid a hand on the children of UA, and that by itself earned you trouble with Shigaraki. In fact, you were even informing the students bout their mistakes, teaching them the correct way, and how to get out of the box with their fighting style. At first, he just couldn’t understand. Why were you helping the enemy? And then he heard you say something to them. Not just to one, but to the whole class.

“My enemy isn’t you. My enemy is the Hero Commission. And it should be yours too. Before you even join something, you should research everything about it.”

In his eyes, you changed. Or more so, his view on you changed.

After that night, his relationship with you shifted. Back then he didn’t talk to you much, just a few words whenever you bumped each other in the ungodliest of hours. The two of you finding it hard to sleep. He would often joke that if he didn’t have skin grafts under his eyes, he would have raccoon eyes just like you. And you quickly retort with, “What are you even talking about? You’re a literal zombified raccoon.” How long has it been since he’s genuinely laughed like that night? Hell, he couldn’t even fucking remember.

As time passed, he began to notice that whenever he was with you, the pain would be more bearable. Maybe it was because your quirk’s minor power was healing, or maybe it was also because you had somehow become his little dose of serotonin. Either way, he was addicted to you. He still popped pills, but it was less. He still smoked, but it was less.

He smiled at the mold-covered ceiling, eyes glowing neon blue as thoughts of you popped into his head.

“Dabi?” Speak of the devil.

“Hm?” 

“Hm.” You responded before coming over and settling yourself into the couch, flinching as you felt the cracked skin of the leather couch dig into your bare thighs. Clicking your tongue in annoyance, you shifted so that you were now laying your head on his left shoulder, your hair tickling the skin of his neck.

Seeing the orange bottle in his hand, you paused. You just stared at it while he stared at you from he corner of his eyes. And with a blank expression, you gently pulled the bottle out of his grip before stretching over to place it back on the nightstand. All before moving back to him and snuggling into his warmth.

He found comfort in your silence and unquestioning nature. You never talked about his addiction, never pestered him with questions of his childhood like Toga or Twice did. Never mocked him like Shigaraki. You were just quiet. Never judging, never scolding, never prying. Yeah, now that he realizes this, never once had you asked him to open up. You never once tried to fix him like most of fanfic’s depict. Instead, you just accepted him for his present self. However, that didn’t mean that you agreed with how he handled his pain. Most of the time, when ever he used his Quirk for a long period of time, you could always make sure to heal him causing him to lessen his pill taking. One time, he even tried detoxing. All by himself. That was a shit idea. 

He could’ve sworn he was quiet, but apparently, your ears could catch even the steps of a mouse for in mere seconds you were already knocking at his door. You must’ve arrived from a mission too because when he didn’t answer, you barged right through the doorway still wearing your get-up. The look of pure rage on your face kind of made it worse but we don’t really talk about it. Despite all this, it was then that he learned you could help with withdrawal symptoms. And it was also then, that your relationship shifted into even deeper territory. 

He wasn’t able to stop his addiction. 

Instead, he developed yet another.

The horrible addiction of that is

you.

...

(A/N): I just wanted to portray Dabi in a different light because a lot of people forget that if Dabi’s has burns all over his body, he would most likely develop an addiction to pain killer’s because they would heal and then get burned again--- or at least that’s how I see it. Also apologies if this a bad representation on addiction, it’s my first time writing about the subject. But nonetheless,

Hope you enjoyed!

[duskwoodraven]

Hello! Can I ask what you think of all the main characters so far? Thank you!

Hello to you too and I’d love to! ☺️

———————

Thomas

Even in the beginning I never really suspected him of anything serious, more like a man who is not afraid to get in trouble to find Hannah.

He annoys me somewhat with how secretive and evasive he can be, and the fact that he lied to us in episode 6 about going to help his family still makes me mad.

But I also sympathize with him for feeling like the group is shutting him out because they find him suspicious or not trustworthy. When in reality he had been distancing himself from his friends. He just seems like a guy who cares about Hannah deeply and wants his friends approval and companionship.

If I where to rate him on how suspicious he is from 1 to 10, it would be a 4.

Dan

Oooooh I hated him at the start 😂

He seemed so rude and terrible to his friends, he reminded me of those guys who sit at home all day and act like they know everything and everyone else is wrong. (And if it turns out he was wrong he’d throw a tantrum.)

When he didn’t show up for his first shift at Aurora I just contributed it to him being a slacker and his interest in Jessy as flakey with little seriousness.

But to see him practically wallowing in self pity at the Black Swan with whiskey had honesty made me turn a 180 on my opinion of the guy and what he values most, and that’s Jessy and his friend, Thomas. Dan was willing to get himself into legal trouble to help his friend and even votes against Lilly (who he might have been hooking up with) to have the player stay in the group because MC listened to his woes when no one else did.

Also his memes are *chefs kiss* top notch.

Suspicion rate: 1 out of 10

Cleo

I think my opinion of Cleo has stayed consistent throughout the game so far, how she portrays herself and her values has remained constant through her actions.

She gives off the vibe of a book nerd who isn’t afraid of private property laws. In other words she is nosey and nothing will stop her from the truth, plus she is very blunt and straight to the point. A persons feelings isn’t very important to her if she is trying to get information.

Maybe future updates will change my opinion on her, especially since the last time we saw her she was breaking into Aurora, but right now she is a true neutral that we haven’t seen emotionally hurt like the others, even the kidnapper stalking her twice didn’t seem to faze her.

Suspicion rate: 3 out of 10

Jessy

I love her, but I am also concerned...

When she first appeared I thought we was going to be whiny or Thomas’s secret lover. Just because of the fact that she seemed uninterested in everything.

Turns out she is very friendly and probably the only person 100% on our side that isn’t Jake. She also seems to care about the player on a deeper level then just friendship 😏

But now her actions are becoming a little unnerving, especially after the vote. She seems less trustful and more prying over the player, asking questions about Jake that makes me feel uncomfortable. I still trust her, but now there is a seed of doubt in my mind that she is hiding something.

She also seems to believe that Jake is using or threatening the player in secret, which is understandable if she cares about MCs safety. As an outside party you would of course jump to the conclusion that the scary hackerman is threatening and planning to harm your online friend. I hope for everyone’s sake that Jessy is true and genuine, because I’d be heartbroken to lose her friendship.

Suspicion rate: 5 out of 10

Richy

If Jake hadn’t captured my heart Richy probably would have. 😂

At first I was disappointed that it took so long to talk to him one on one, I enjoy his laid back attitude and realistic thinking.

Now however, the charm has turned to suspicion... For many reasons I have stated before in other posts, I believe that Richy is the most likely person to have kidnapped Hannah and so now all chats with him are over analyzed for clues.

I still think he’s funny and charasmatic, smiling through all his challenges, and even if it was him this whole time, I probably won’t hate him. He seems like he would have a reason for why he (might have) kidnapped Hannah.

Suspicion rate: 10 out of 10

Jake

Mr. Hackerman~

Have I mentioned that I stan/simp for this boy? 😂

My adoration for this character could probably deserve its own post but to keep it short, at the beginning I thought Jake was going to be the stereotypical hacker character you see all the time in media. Mean, sarcastic, demoralizing and making fun of people who aren’t tech savvy, cold shouldered and straight up robotic.

But behold! He was none of those things 💛

I was shocked by how much personality this character actually has after we get to ask him about himself. Those moments of friendship and carding interactions without Hannah’s case getting in the way, has me hooked.

He is sweet, trustful, and capable to do what he believes is right. He cares about the player early on and their opinion of him, he is even willing to deny his feelings to keep himself and MC safe.

There is a lot of suspicion and unanswered questions rising up though. Especially at the end of the latest episode so It is getting a bit more angsty 😂

Suspicion rate: 2 out of 10

Lilly

I didn’t like her before and I don’t like her now...

She is way to shady to trust with anything right now and she knows more then she is letting on. I won’t move my opinion of her until we actually get to talk to her 1 on 1 and get the answers we need.

(Also it makes me so mad that she knew Jakes name, because Jake telling us his name was a sign of absolute trust and it felt like Lilly violated that trust by telling the whole group without Jakes permission. It was just a scummy thing to do!)

Suspicion rate: 8 out of 10

——————

and those are my thoughts 😅 I hope it makes some sense.

I apologize for not being as active as I used to be, life is just getting hectic again and this account has been put on the back burner for right now.

[kg2hub]

so let’s talk about the kindergarten amino. 

there are issues we need to address like grown ups, which some certain people refuse to do.

i’m not gonna lie, i avoided getting amino for the longest time because i am aware of how much of a festering cesspool of toxicity it is there. it’s terrifying, how shitty people can be on there honestly. the community?  garbage. absolute garbage, and despite not having an account there i personally know my friends have been affected by the utter bullshit that goes on in there.

sure, i know many of the wonderful creators there, good friends who mean the world to me, and amazing talented mutuals of mine spanning multiple social media platforms who are on the amino as well. good people exist. but so do the bad ones, and it seems on amino specifically, the bad people are more prevalent there.

it’s kind of really stupid, how much of a horrible place that app is, and yet the kindergarten communities i’ve personally witnessed on tumblr, discord, instagram-- are so much kinder, supportive and not at all what a certain mod team describes. 

how curious! it’s almost as if the behaviour you allow freely in a community breeds likeminded people in that community! :) mindblowing, isn’t it?

on that topic. the kindergarten amino mods. 

according to the oxford dictionary1, a moderator is defined as being 1. a person whose job is to help people or groups who disagree to reach an agreement ;  4. ​a person who is responsible for preventing offensive material from being published on a website. 

notice how none of these definitions say anything about uhhhhh “talking like a simp” lmao? 

like what they said to a friend of mine who asked why she didn’t get the mod position she applied for and when she asked what was “wrong” with the way she spoke to people when they answered her, case in point:

:)

under the cut, here are the requirements for how a kga mod is supposedly obligated to speak to people, straight from the mod team themselves (and how the above and below are incredibly unfitting for someone supposedly in a moderator’s position):

the above images are the message that came before the first screenshot from the convo from my friend shown above the cut. now, let me point out the issues with this list. the 1st definition of “moderator” portrays a mod as helping two parties reach an agreement with one another after an argument. the 4th definition of “moderator” is someone who is responsible for preventing offensive material from being published on a website (in this case, app)

“talk casual” is not applicable to these definitions. this has little to no relation to how a mod may mediate a situation, but there are a few conceivable pros and cons.

pros: both parties in an argument may find them easier to talk to, and might understand each other’s points better when explained in terms that come off as relaxed and not like a serious adult wagging their finger at a child. 

cons: the exact opposite might happen due to the fact they will sound less professional and may be taken less seriously, and there is no guaranteed way the two parties in question will interpret the mod’s efforts in either a good or bad way. 

in conclusion, speaking casually to someone as a mod is not important nor does it affect how the actual act of moderation occurs. “speak respectfully” is the phrase you’re looking for, kga mods. it doesn’t matter how formal or casual you are, as long as you’re not straight up being a dick to anyone.

“try to make negatives sound neutral” is, in other words, deliberately wording a situation to avoid taking one specific side of an argument. --the issue with this, is that there are some situations that are rooted in facts, and you cannot change a negative fact to “make it sound neutral” because it exists in reality as a negative fact no matter what you think or how you try to convince yourself otherwise. there are cases where one person is wrong and one person is right, and that is the end of that. there are cases where it doesn’t matter what the user’s intent behind their actions were; well-meaning or not, if they did something wrong, they did something wrong. tell them what they did wrong, issue a warning, let them apologize and move on if they won’t do it again. if they’re a repeat offender, take the appropriate actions for the situation and deal with it responsibly as the person in the authoritative position. end of story.

there are differences between petty arguments (eg. who is the “best” character), and serious matters that should be dealt in a serious way (eg. art theft, rape jokes, bullying). nothing in this world is completely black and white, but there is a clear difference between what will harm a person, and what will not; what is good for the sake of a community, and what isn’t. and frankly, if you think you can dispute that and take a neutral side on urgent issues anyway, you are incredibly mistaken. 

this can be a tactic used for de-escalation, absolutely, and for making sure you aren’t inserting your personal opinions into the argument by looking at it from an objective point of view. but it is not fit for every situation, and the fact that it’s listed as “one of the ways a mod is supposed to talk to people” puts it in a checklist for the “standard” of how they should speak, which therefore implies that a mod needs to “try” to use it in every situation possible. instead of, you know, judging the situation and reacting accordingly rather than going a roundabout way that doesn’t go straight to solving the actual issue between users. i would count that specific point as bad wording on their part, but my point for all of this still stands regardless.

“be patient” does play an important part of handling arguments between two people, i will agree with that. it’s advisable to be the calm, rational one when dealing with two people whose emotions are influencing them to only see their side and no one else’s. that’s only assuming the situation isn’t as serious as other ones may be, however, and that there are multiple sides to the argument at all. 

of course this isn’t the case for other things that are much worse, and if we recall the 4th definition of a moderator in modern, internet-associated terms, it is the mod’s duty to prevent offensive, harmful material from being posted on a website. not everything can be solved with patience and talking things out when someone is breaking the rules. a moderator also needs to be able to put their foot down when needed, and take action especially in the case that the mod isn’t actually being listened to.

as a person being confronted by a mod, it’s easy to say you agree and won’t do it again but you’ll just do it again anyway. which is why punishment, repercussions, consequences (banning, reporting, etc) are put in place to prevent these things from happening. relying only on talking things out cannot and will not stop people from doing what they want, if they don’t listen and have no desire to change for the better.

“try to make your users comfortable while talking to you” is not applicable in every situation either. of course it’s important to ensure you are respected as a mod, and that you are respectful towards other people as well. it’s nice to have a friendly disposition when talking to people, so they aren’t intimidated or scared of you, or think you’re stuck up or unlikable or mean and whatever else. 

but in the end, it doesn’t really matter what everyone thinks of you, whether you’re a mod or not. not everyone will like you at any given point, ever. that’s just a fact of life. what matters as a mod, is doing your job properly. the way others see you is a factor in it, sure, but as a mod you will always inherently be someone who some others are a little jumpy when talking to you. but most people also don’t have any reason to be uncomfortable if they aren’t doing anything wrong in the first place. if they’re hurting people and being toxic, it doesn’t matter how comfortable they are when talking to you.

in addition, it’s possible to be amicable while also being firm and direct about moderation work. and it is also possible to separate how you speak in a friendly conversation with someone, compared to speaking to someone who has seriously messed up and broken the rules. 

“smiley face trademarked” this straight up has nothing to do with being a mod. it’s just a typing quirk. it’s not important to what makes someone a mod. it also is typically used for passive aggressiveness so. if the kga staff wants to come off to their community that way, i am not fishing out the one (1) radioactive shoe in the sewers that is the kindergarten amino. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

“de-escalate situations or try to stay calm” does fit exactly with what i was talking about earlier. this is the 1st definition of moderators, and essentially is part of their job. i legitimately don’t have objections to this, that haven’t already been said, because it is a mod’s job to keep the peace between the people in an online community.

this message came after the list they provided, before the screenshot of my friend asking if her not sugarcoating things was the issue. for context, she had challenged their authority before this instance, and critiqued the way the mods would usually handle situations. in that, they don’t actually handle the situation and would opt for “being a simp” rather than solving the issue. (keeping this in mind, it’s hard not to suspect they rejected her because of past hostility against her for speaking her mind before this.)

it’s not hard to change the way you speak according to the situation. you don’t talk to the principal (or your boss if you’re older), the same way you would talk to your best friend, or the way you would talk to a sibling, and you don’t speak to a stranger on the street, or significant other in any of those ways too. 

it doesn’t matter how she spoke when she critiqued the mods. the way she spoke for that occasion was appropriate for the topic, and does not in any way correlate or give any indication to how she would speak to a general person if she was in a mod position.

it doesn’t matter about how “relatable” you are as a mod either. that has nothing to do with moderation and does not make you do your job any better or any less than someone who “isn’t relatable” whatever the fuck that means. 

a teacher can be relatable all they want, but they can and will get booted from their job if they’re, y’know, not actually doing their job; aka teaching. a teacher can teach without being engaging in any way for the students at all, and that arguably isn’t good either, but the difference is, as much as the students may not like it, that’s not a requirement for their job, hence why a teacher would not get fired for being boring but still getting information through to their students, but a teacher would get fired for not teaching no matter how fun, relatable, or friendly they are. 

the power a mod has is supposed to be used to moderate, while “being relatable” is not needed, even though it can be beneficial, to actually do your job properly.

ah yes, this screenshot again. urban dictionary’s 1st definition of “simp” is:  Someone who will say anything to please someone, particularly a girl, in the hopes that they will be in good favor with that person.

and that really speaks for itself why simps are unfit to be in a moderator position. essentially, they are suck ups. fakes. they will, by this definition, say anything to win the good graces of other people, to win approval, and make people like them. --and as i mentioned before, this is not the job of a mod in any way, shape or form.

it is not beneficial for a mod to suck up to someone who is breaking the rules and hurting others. it doesn’t matter what the community’s opinion is of how likable a mod is; the mod is the person in a position of power, and it is their job to make sure no one is breaking the rules or posting anything harmful to others or to the community. that has nothing to do with popularity contests.

and, this shows how these mods handle situations if they “talk like a simp” to the perpetrators. it’s a substantial reason why this mod team doesn’t actually get their work done if this is the way they speak to people. to talk in this manner means they are not really telling the perpetrators what they’re doing wrong and trying to get them to stop, but are rather encouraging and enabling them to keep doing terrible things because of the fact that “it will please them, and that person will think good of the mods”

--another point i should talk about, is the “we have to be kind and try to understand” part of what they said. 

according to one of my friends, some people in the kga mod team are over 18?? i don’t know if this is true, and i don’t really care. but if it is, maybe fucking act like it lmao. if you really are adults-- even some young teenagers already know this-- but you should already know it is completely possible to be kind and polite to someone while disagreeing with them and telling them they are wrong and what they did is wrong. 

it’s word choice. there is a deliberate difference between choosing to type “wow you’re so stupid, don’t you know you’re not allowed to post this? delete it, dipshit” and “hey there! this post doesn’t fit the posting guidelines, so please take this down. thanks!” 

there’s also a neat little thing where a person can understand why a person did something and the reasons why they think something is right, looking at an opinion that is not their own and the contexts for why other people may think that way-- but still realize that it’s fundamentally wrong and they shouldn’t do that anyway! it’s called critical thinking. it comes with the experience of growing up, which, doesn’t necessarily correlate to how old a person is. 

so even if the mods are adults, they have no excuse for not being able to connect saying things in a kind way while also being firm about moderating and doing their job without being a doormat. 

we, as adults, are supposed to be the responsible ones when dealing with minors, and mods are the designated responsible ones over every member of an online community by proxy. by now, you should have learned these things. but i will acknowledge that not all people may be mentally capable of thinking and speaking this way as easily as others. and that’s fine and dandy and doesn’t make them a bad person-- but that also means they should not be mods in the first place if they can’t deal with things objectively but respectfully and kind at the same time.

--kinda funny how that screenshot under the simp screenshot practically agrees with that notion, huh!

( plus the fact those under 13 are not allowed to use amino in the first fucking place, yet they allow a fucking 12 year old to join without doing anything about it?? children should not be on that app until they’re old enough. it’s detrimental to them and everyone around them, and unsafe for them especially. i’m pretty sure more than two people are aware of this incident, and the fact the mods did nothing about it? pure incompetence. )

^ she put it pretty well in her own words too.

and now onto this bullshit. i, on the other hand do not personally know these people on the kga mod team, but i do not care for their opinions on me considering i don’t know them and do not care for the amino community-- nor do i have the obligation to suspend my belief on whether they truly are lovely people or not. 

they allowed my friends to get hurt, everything i’ve seen from them is incompetence, and frankly, the simp one especially made me actively lose braincells trying to comprehend that any human on this planet thinks that is a legitimate, reasonable response to anyone in any situation. if it was a joke, it is their fault for putting a poorly placed joke in the middle of a serious conversation. if it wasn’t a joke, i really cannot fathom how anyone believes that is an intelligent or beneficial way to talk to people while moderating.

anyway. that response of theirs? that passive aggressive “don’t say thank you when you hate us :)” while disregarding literally everything else my friend said is incredibly childish on the mod’s part. i have legitimate trouble believing anyone but a child is typing these arguments, and i’m not saying this to be mean, but i seriously cannot imagine with every single one of my synapses, that an adult would make such a halfassed “argument” like that.

on the other hand, twitter drama exists. so. perhaps i can believe there are adults who can’t communicate properly.

either way, their true age has no relation to the immature behaviour they show throughout this conversation. child or not, adult or not, they are still being unreasonable and immature and the bottom line is that these people really shouldn’t be mods.

“the next message probably isn’t me so like don’t blame kga staff” that really does not sound like anything but an excuse to say whatever you want without actually owning up to your actions. 

a friend when i was 11 would say shitty things to me and then say “omg i’m soooo sorry that wasn’t me, my cousin used my computer!!” and that sounds just like that imo. 

i will give the benefit of the doubt for this one assuming multiple mods are using that account(?) but the “don’t blame kga staff” makes zero sense, like my friend says. if someone from your mod team says something, it means you all either agree with it (especially considering it seems you only let people like yourself and not anyone with varied opinions become mods) or you would have to retract the statement as a team and own up to what your actual opinions are. you can have individual opinions as individual mods, but i’m pretty sure that if you say things as the kga staff as a whole, it must be assumed those opinions are at least shared with most if not all members.

there are problems involving the kga staff. of course the entire kga staff will be blamed, no matter who the individual was, for causing problems in the first place.

“abrasive and downright impulsive” buddy, you and your little mod posse have had these issues spanning several months, according to my friends. there’s nothing impulsive about poking the hornet’s nest repeatedly and then getting surprised when you get stung. or in this case, called out with the truth. because the truth isn’t “abrasive”, it’s just real. 

consider: you’re being spoken to this way because you won’t listen to literally any other way whenever your inadequacies of being mods has been brought up in the past lmao. being nice obviously hasn’t worked (oh the irony). what else do you expect to happen?

“if everyone despised us and we put no effort into getting a little liked from the community [...]” you said “simp” behaviour was required for all mods. there’s a huge fucking difference between “too nice to mod properly or tell people what they’re doing wrong”, and being well liked and respected while still being competent. again, being liked by everyone is not what makes someone The Best Mod(tm). doesn’t matter if you don’t actually do your job.

“the problems aren’t with the entire staff. so I don’t see the need to blame everyone” this is exactly like saying “this cancer tumor isn’t affecting all of your body so i don’t see the need to remove it before it gets worse”

“the reason we need this more lighthearted [...] and those involved in the problem” again. it is entirely possible to be kind to someone while also dealing with problems in a responsible manner.

yep. as she said, the kga staff is the first one to throw insults at her, not the other way around. and it is incredibly hypocritical of them to talk that way. not very simp-like when you’re directly being called out on the shit you’re doing wrong, huh :) 

and you heard it here folks; the kga staff doesn’t care about the opinions and critical feedback of it’s own members! “a bad opinion based on next to nothing” you mean the stuff you sweep under the rug and the shit she’s personally witnessed the whole time she’s been on that amino?

sure, that first mod is not specifically responsible for what the second one said. but you’re both still mods, and whole idea of being a mod is being responsible for others in the first place. and that responsibility includes amongst yourselves. if you don’t know how to police your fellow mods (and on the case if it happened, speak up if another mod is being corrupt), can you really expect anyone to believe you can moderate other people if you don’t know how to check yourselves first?

“you’ve never been a mod. you can’t judge how we do our jobs” that is a shitty argument and always has been since the dawn of time. 99.99% of people have never and will never be president or work in parliament. that doesn’t stop them from criticizing how the government runs things. the majority of an audience have never worked on a movie set before. that doesn’t stop them from saying whether they thought the movie was absolute shit. they don’t have to know how much “hard work” is put into being a mod to judge you. what matters is the outcome, they see the outcome, and will judge you because the outcome directly affects them. 

and in both of the above situations, the feedback from the outsiders are incredibly vital and influence the way the government, or the movie directors, make their next move. because if the next move they make is complete nonsensical garbage to everyone else? they’re ruined. they have to listen to everyone else or their reputation, and trust everyone else has for them, will suffer. it’s the exact same thing in an online community where its members create the content, and this is just the way humans function. she, and i, and many others of us who agree with her absolutely can judge the way you do your jobs, and at the same time you have the option of not listening. but that option isn’t always the best option for the sake of the community. these are what people who are actually fit to be mods have to decide, whether they actually want to listen to the people they’re governing, or if they’d rather avoid facing the many, many issues in their community and admitting the fact they fucked up. i’m pretty sure we all know what the kga staff is gonna pick.

you people really shouldn’t have become mods if you’re so sensitive to criticism and can’t handle confrontation. i’m pretty sure the critique you’ve been given was never a personal attack on you as people, but the point of it was, and is, to make you better mods. something which you don’t seem to care about doing.

i’m almost done here.

i have a whole bunch of disclaimers in the event whoever-the-fuck decides to argue with me on all of this. because goddammit i am a tired adult and i don’t give a shit about “mean anons” who are gonna attempt to out-logic my logic because by the end of this post, i will be done here. i will laugh as i delete your asks, on the assumption anyone will actually bother trying to fight me after everything i said. i don’t feel i’ve wasted my time with this post, but i will not waste my time arguing further with some random person on the internet. 

i’m 1000% aware that being a mod for this amino is not a serious thing. i don’t care. i know it’s not a job job where you’re getting paid to actually do shit so you don’t really have to do anything at all. which is probably why the amino community sucks so bad. i’m just saying, being in that mod position still means you’re fucking responsible for when people get hurt in your community, and when people post inappropriate shit. it may not matter to you, and it may not matter in your life in the long run, but those experiences matter to someone. and it will always be, in part, your fault because your mod team was responsible for it at the time. if you don’t care? i don’t care that you don’t care. it won’t change the fact you let people get hurt and have no regrets about it. which is even worse. 

yes, i wrote all of this out. i typed out this longass fucking essay for a few hours of my life despite that these people are likely never going to read this, or care, or take into consideration anything i said because they clearly can’t handle criticism-- because of the sheer amount of salt i have for these children, these adults, these people who can’t fucking do their jobs right. i haven’t wasted my time typing this, and i don’t care if other people see it that way because i don’t. and unlike some people, i’m not so insecure in myself that i care so much about what other people think. i wanted to do this. i’m happy with this decision. i don’t care that this isn’t a “real issue” or that “i could have done better things with my time” or “wow i’m a loser with no life” sure, thanks. honestly this was a better use of my time than staring at youtube all day. so. what i care about is that real people are affected by the things this excuse for a mod team has been pulling for way too long.

yes, i talked about how it’s easy to be kind while being firm. no, i am not being kind but the difference is that i am fully aware of it because i am making the choice to not put up with this bs. yes i’m some adult on the internet getting riled up that these people are trashy af. because some of the people i do care about are involved. your point?

and if you’re one of those mods on the kga and will not read all of this? i don’t care for your short attention span. mine’s the size of a goldfish’s too, dw. you read it and don’t care about what i have to say? great! here’s an uno reverse card. i do not know the mods or have any desire to know them based on what i do know of them. if they are willing to actually be reasonable, i may change my mind. until then, this criticism still stands.

no, i do not use amino other than the salt account i made today just to see firsthand what things go on there in the first place. i don’t care what happens to that account and have zero plans on posting on it. other than maybe a salt post, maybe. a specific phrase that really stuck as i was browsing was the community being described by one of the mods as an “emo daycare”. like i said way earlier in this post, the behaviour you freely allow is what breeds likeminded people in a community. that means: it’s your own fault that your community consists of mostly horrible, toxic people. if you actually did your work as mods, you wouldn’t have that issue with the people in the first place :) 

it is the kindergarten fandom, but that doesn’t mean you all have to act like a bunch of kindergarteners. everything they said about the fandom is completely wrong if you actually look in the right places and, y’know, stop keeping your head in radioactive sand like a fucking ostrich while refusing to look at everything else around you. i am personally friends with so many talented individuals for this fandom, and in my experience this fandom has done nothing but good for me and my overall creativity.

no, of course i’m not above criticism either. unlike some people i am rather open to it and am aware it is important and something everyone needs to deal with in their own lives including me. i just don’t care for petty squabbling. i do have better things to do after this post, after all. i’ve said everything i needed to say, and @ whatever else the people who may disagree think of this? c’est la vie. so. yeah. i’m done here, that was me being pissed off by the sheer lack of braincells i’ve witnessed tonight, gonna draw now, bye.

[calliecat93]

Callie’s Disney Princess Retrospective: The Little Mermaid

(Snow White) (Cinderella) (Sleeping Beauty)

By the time of 1989, The Walt Disney Company was in it’s Dark Age. Walt had passed, the Nine Old Men were retiring, and their films were viewed as jokes. The Dark Age tends to get what I feel is an overly harsh reputation, but that’s not what we’re here for. The cold hard truth is Disney was a shadow of its former self. Their films just weren’t getting the same praise as they once did, and now with Don Bluth gaining success, with films like An American Tale and The Land Before Time, they weren’t even the top studio anymore. Their lowest point was the colossal failure of The Black Cauldron and while films like The Great Mouse Detective earned some praise, it was just never enough. They’d start getting some steam with Who Framed Roger Rabbit? but considering that they commissioned Richard William’s studio in England over Disney’s own animation studio, it seemed that even the company itself was losing faith in their own talents.

That all changed, however, with the release of their 28th animated feature. This would be the film that changed everything. It brought Disney back into prominence after years of being laughing stocks. It would enter the animation medium into its Renaissance, a time still fondly remembered by many. And for the purposes of this series, it is the film that both resurrected and revitalized the Disney Princess franchise. All of this would be due to 1989’s The Little Mermaid.

Overview

Ariel is a mermaid, but she dreams of one day being able to be part of the human world. Always collecting whatever surface world treasures she can find, to her father’s disapproval, Ariel one day stumbles upon a ship celebrating the birthday of the handsome Prince Eric. It’s love at first sight, but as he is a human, her father King Triton reacts negatively. Hurt, Ariel goes to the sea witch Ursula, who grants her human legs at the cost of her voice. To remain human, Ariel has three days to get Eric to fall in love with her and kiss her. But Ursula has her own wicked plans for Ariel, plans that will endanger both land and sea. Will Ariel be able to get Eric to fall in love with her and become part of his world? Or will Ursula triumph?

Review

I have been waiting for this day for SO LONG. Do you want to know why I decided to do this series, to begin with? Aside from 2020 driving me to insanity? It’s because while the complaints against the Disney Princesses in general have frustrated me for as long as I can remember, there were two in particular that always made my blood boil because they made no sense. Cinderella was the first one, which I already covered. The other? Ariel. I think you all know what I’m referring to here, but let’s put a pin in it for now. We have a LOT to discuss before we get to analyzing Ariel herself. First, let's go over the film.

The film is based on the story of the same name by Hans Christian Anderson. Walt himself had actually planned it long before, but sadly was never able to make it a reality. When the directors pitched it, at first it was denied due to Disney having already releasing a mermaid film called Splash not too long ago. But it was allowed to continue to be worked on as a future project and after a great deal of tweaking, expansion, and reworking, it was approved as a feature film to come out after Oliver and Company. There were a LOT of changes from the original story. The sea witch went from neutral to the villain, characters were expanded and added, and of course the story of unrequited love that ended with the little mermaid committing suicide was thrown out all together. A lot of the story basis was still there, but Disney was taking it and making it their own arguably even moreso than with the Classic Three.

The animation is fantastic. Many of the films prior like The Rescuers and Oliver and Company, while they looked nice, had this… roughness to it. I mean they were outright recycling animation for a good while, with Robin Hood being the biggest example. But the animation here is some of the nicest, most fluid that they’ve had in quite a long time. It’s colorful, expressive, and grand in feel. This is especially true with the musical numbers. I mean Under the Sea has SO much going on, and it is a true spectacle! It’s especially prominent when Ariel is mute. Since she can’t express herself with words, the animation had to be on point so that we could still understand her thoughts and feelings. They did an amazing job. From things like her visual glee at being human when going to bed the first night, to her annoyingly blowing her bangs during the canoe ride, turning into excited glee when Eric guesses her name. It helps Ariel feel more like a three-dimensional character and illustrates everything to us that words couldn’t at that point.

The biggest animation challenge for this film would be to convincingly portray the illusion of being under water. They had to convince us that Ariel was living under the sea, and I’d say they did a pretty good job. It is no easy task and trying to describe it is… hard. But I never had any doubt that they were underwater, especially compared to the scenes that were on the surface/ just look at how Ariel's hair is constantly flowing compared to how it sits when on the surface. It’s that attention to detail that I always appreciate. The opening especially, seeing the underwater landscape thriving as we see the silhouetted merpeople until the grand reveal of King Triton’s castle. Not to mention the seashore setting of Eric’s own castle and kingdom, a perfect match for this sort of movie. As someone who loves water/seaside settings, it’s always a joy to see!

While several of these people worked on the Dark Age films, this is really the first film that allows the then-new talent of Disney to shine. The directors were John Musker and Ron Clements, who are VERY important names to the Princess line. They not only gave us Ariel but also Jasmine, Tiana, and Moana. They’ve been attached to many of Disney’s most beloved films and event cult classics like The Great Mouse Detective and Treasure Planet (both of which you should watch). You also have animators such as Glen Keane, who would go on to animate Pocahontas and Rapunzel and work on some of the future princes (The Beast and Aladdin), and Mark Henn who would animate Belle, Jasmine, Pocahontas (alongside Keane), Mulan, and Tiana. They both would be the supervising animators for Ariel, and go on to have very successful careers in future productions. 

But this film also gave us what may have been the best decision that the new management ever made. For the music, they hired lyricist Howard Ashman, who chose composer Alan Menken to collaborate with him. I cannot stress enough how important these two’s contributions were for this (and the next film we’ll be discussing) production, especially the former. Ashman became very passionate about this project and was very influential on it’s direction to the point of being credited as a producer. Menken of course would go on to have a LONG, successful career as a composer on many of the Renaissance films. Many of which we’ll be touching on in this retrospective. These guys won two Oscars for The Little Mermaid for a reason.

I haven’t talked a whole lot about the music in these films outside a little bit about the main song. That’s because while not unimportant, the music didn’t really move the story along. Like Someday My Prince Will Come/ is cute, but does it really drive anything forward? Or tell us anything about Snow White that we didn’t already know from I’m Wishing? Not really. Ashman, using his stage musical experience, wanted to use that kind of styling with The Little Mermaid. To use music to add depth to both the characters and to the story. We’re all used to most Disney films being this Broadway-esque spectacle nowadays, but this film was the first to truly do so. Considering how this formula is still being used to this day, I think it’s safe to say that it was VERY successful. Again, the music won two Oscars for a reason. Heck for a LONG time, the music was all that Disney was able to win from The Academy, so that says a LOT as to how good this was.

So now that we’ve made it here, I’m going to discuss the vocal tracks individually and give my thoughts on each of the major ones:

Fathoms Below: Might be the most underrated song of the bunch. It’s in the style of a sea-shanty discussing the legends of what is below the sea. It’s a great intro to the film, letting us know right off the bat what kind of movie we are in for. I know that it sure had me invested~

Part of Your World/Reprise: I’m gonna go more into depth on the song’s meanings when we analyze Ariel, but this song is perfect. It’s the song that tells us Ariel’s wants and dreams and Jodi Benson does such a great job putting so many different emotions into it. The animators also did a fantastic job with the expressions, fully showcasing Ariel’s longing, sadness, and desperation to be part of a world that she cannot. The reprise equally does a great job showcasing her evolving revolve, going from ‘longing’ to ‘determined’. The song is fondly remembered for a reason… and it almost didn’t make it into the film. During screen testings, Jeffrey Katzenberg (the studio head at the time) wanted the sequence cut as the kid audience was ‘bored’ and ‘restless’. The directors and Ashman HEAVILY disagreed and argued back, with Glen Keane ultimately being the one to convince Katzenberg to keep the scene. Thank God for it because this adds such a strong, emotional core to both the story and to Ariel’s character and it would have taken so much away if removed. I love it~

Under the Sea: This was the number that won the Oscar. I… find it the most overrated track tbh. Not that it’s bad, FAR from it. It’s probably the best animation-wise with how much is going on. Sebastian somehow managed to conduct… all the sea life into a mass spectacle that certainly had me convinced to living under the sea. The calypso style is very fitting and fun, and Samuel E Wright sings it with so much passion. I guess that I find it overrated because I just like other songs more, but this is still a true showstopper that’s worth revisiting.

Poor Unfortunate Souls: Aside from I think Cruella DeVille (and even then Roger’s the one singing it), I think that this is the first true villain song in a Disney film. If so, then they started on a GLORIOUS note. I love this song! It was THE perfect song for Ursula. The first half with her fake reformed villain act but with this condescending air to it (Pat Carroll’s delivery with the  ‘Pathetic’ line is perfection) was already grand, but the second half? Pat Carroll just lets loose and goes utterly insane. It is AMAZING and has so much charisma to it that you can’t help but be invested. It’s also very creepy, especially in the end with Ursula's cauldron bubbling and especially how she takes Ariel’s voice. This would inspire many great villain songs in the future and to this day remains one of the all-time greats.

Les Poissons: I never thought that seeing a chef cook would be so horrifying… the song is fine. It’s a silly sequence, albeit morbid from poor Sebastian’s perspective, and Rene Auberjonois did a fantastic job despite the song being pretty short. It’s my least favorite track, mainly because it doesn’t really add or enhance anything. But it was fun… poor Senastian though XD

Kiss the Girl: The love song of the film. I love the animation for this one. I mean what’s more romantic than taking a canoe out on the lake? That’s where I’d want my first date to end! The mood is set so well with the use of shadows and once more, Sebastian is able to conduct a spectacle effortlessly. Once more Samuel E Wright does a fabulous job singing, this time with a serenade style. Even if poor Scuttle didn’t get the appreciation that he deserved. Let the seagull sing, dang it! The only thing that ruins it is the eels capsizing the canoe, jerks! But yeah a beautiful serenade that is bound to convince anyone to… well, kiss the girl XD

And that’s not even getting into Alan Menken’s score! Alan Menken is my favorite composer of all time, so I love everything that he has ever done. I still remember the opening, hearing the instrumental of Part of Your World and immediately became invested in this film. The man is an EGOT for a reason, and this is only one of the many fantastic soundtracks that we’ll be discussing in this review. He also did some additional music for the Broadway version of the film, and there’s a whole body of demo work that he and Ashman did that you can probably find on Youtube, Spotify, or whatever music streaming service you use. Listen to Ashman’s rendition of Part of Your World, you WILL be driven to tears.

So now we get to characters… and HO BOY do we have a lot. For the sake of this review we will be going over King Triton, Sebastian, Flounder, Scuttle, Ursula, Prince Eric, and as per usual Ariel will have her own section at the end.

King Triton, while not evil, serves as an antagonist early on in the film. By all appearances, Triton is a capable ruler who wields a great deal of power due to his triton. He appears just, and for the most part he is as well as a caring father. The only problem is… well, his anger issues. Triton HATES humans and the surface world. We’re never told why aside from him calling them ‘fish-eaters’ (the DTV prequel suggests it’s due to the death of his wife, but the canonicity is debatable), but considering that his youngest daughter’s greatest passion is learning about the surface world… yeah. Needless to say, they have issues between them. But he is otherwise loving and was even excited that Ariel may have found love until he found out about their species. With how overprotective he is, that was a nice subversion despite how brief it was.

Triton often gets the ‘abusive’ label thrown against him and while I do think that that’s a little too strong, there is no denying that his hatred and anger affects Ariel emotionally. He may have seen destroying Ariel’s grotto as for her own good and is likely the culmination of however long Ariel’s been going to the surface finally boiling over. But to do this right in front of her when she is begging him to stop and outright ridiculing her for saving Eric’s life… yeah. It’s… it’s a horrifying scene that does NOT make Triton look good and is what pushes Ariel into seeing Ursula. It doesn’t matter the reason, destroying your children’s things is something that WILL scar them emotionally. To be far, the moment Ariel breaks down Triton clearly realizes that he crossed the line, but he just leaves because… yeah there was NO WAY that they were reaching a reconciliation at that moment.

Triton has a lot of issues, but the reason I don’t call him abusive and like him as a character is because after the grotto scene, he was clearly remorseful. After Ariel goes missing, he outright says ‘What have I done?” and his demeanor expresses a lot of remorse. If that wasn’t enough, I think that him both selling his soul to free Ariel AND turning her human after realizing how much she loved Eric more than showed that he has learned his lesson. Triton had to learn to allow Ariel to grow up and choose her own direction in life, even if he didn’t like said direction. It’s very relatable to how some parents struggle to let go of their children as they grow up. My only real complaint is, as I said, we don’t know why Triton hates humans so much. If we did and saw him work through it, it may have helped us understand why he was so against Ariel’s passions and not come off as needlessly cruel as he did. Nevertheless, he realized his wrongs and made it right. His hug with Ariel at the end is one that gets me every time.

The sidekicks of the film are Flounder, Scuttle, and Sebastian. IDK why they named Flounder Flounder because he isn’t… well, a flounder. He looks like some kind of tropical fish. Flounder is kind of the kid appeal character, even being voiced by a child in all incarnations except Return to the Sea since he had grown up. He is Ariel’s best friend who goes with her on her adventures, despite almost always being easily frightened. He’s well-meaning, but can cause more trouble like when he accidentally exposed Ariel’s excursion during the concert. But he’s also a sweet little guy and very loyal to Ariel. The kid outright went out of his way to somehow recover the Eric statue, which is ten times his size, and deliver it to her grotto to make her happy. That is friendship. He doesn’t really develop, but he’s a nice supporting character.

Scuttle is… well, dumb. But a fun dumb. He’s a surface creature and thus has more knowledge about surface world items than Ariel does… except he doesn’t. He’s not smart, but they manage to keep him entertaining because he’s so sure that he knows what he’s talking about. Imo, dinglehoppers are a MUCH better name for forks than forks, dang it! He tries to help, like it was his idea to try the serenade during the canoe ride… too bad that he can’t hold a note. Poor bird tried. They also DO allow him to be useful at the end, discovering that Ursula had tricked Eric and he amassed one heck of an army to humiliate her long enough for Ariel to reach the ship. It is one of the funniest AND most awesome moments in the whole film. Scuttle is just fun comedic relief who doesn’t overstay his welcome and his VA Buddy Hackett did such a great job~

But if there’s any character aside from Ariel that we remember from this film, it’s Sebastian. This Jamaican crab is the royal musical conductor and Triton’s advisor. He’s often the one who has to watch over Ariel, which clearly frustrates him on multiple occasions. Tbh, Sebastian probably has the most character development in the film. In the beginning, while understandably upset that Ariel being a no-show ruined his conducting debut (though tbf… NO ONE bothered to make sure she was in place? Really?), he’s mainly upset that /he/ looked bad. After the storm, he’s more concerned about getting into trouble with Triton than about Ariel herself. He knows how much the human world means to her, and while one can argue that Ariel /should/ be more aware of how her actions affect others, Sebastian isn’t much better. He only discourages her to save his own shell, not for her own good. Which eventually leads to him breaking and exposing what happened during the storm when he should know damn well that Triton will explode. Yeah it was because he misunderstood, but still.

However, Sebastian isn’t a bad crab. After the grotto's destruction, he immediately feels guilty and tries to apologize to Ariel, but she angrily dismisses him. He tries to convince Ariel to not go to Ursula, but as she’s still upset she bitterly brushes him off and tells him to get her father since he’s good at that. He therefore follows with only Flounder and at first, panics after Ariel is human. It’s understandable because… yeah, that’s bad. His first reaction is to get Triton to fix this, with Ariel trying to stop him. Once he sees the heartbroken look on her face, Sebastian realizes just how miserable Ariel would be back home. At this point, it's reasonable to assume that Triton will only be stricter about letting her have her ventures, and thus she’d be stuck in an unhappy life. This, along with the situation at least being partially his fault, convinces Sebastian to hold off and help Ariel win Eric over. Which he certainly tries his best. 

One of my favorite scenes is Ariel going to bed and being so excited to experience these new things as Sebastian tries to advise her on getting Eric to kiss her. But he stops when he sees that Ariel has fallen asleep with the biggest smile on her face, and he just affectionately calls her a ‘hopeless child’. The affection in his expressions and Samuel E Wright’s delivery is just so sincere and it really shows that for all his bluster, Sebastian does care for Ariel. The crab is also a seriously talented conductor. Like I said, he put together both Under the Sea AND Kiss the Girl in zero time and they’re both amazing numbers because of it. He really tries hard to help Ariel and once Ursula strikes again, he decides it’s finally been long enough and gets King Triton. Sure that doesn’t go well, but at that point it was absolutely the right call. He also helps fight off Flotsam and Jetsam, willing to put himself in harm’s way to help both Ariel and Eric. 

Sebastian became a much more understanding, more selfless crab over the course of the film, realizing that he needs to care less about saving his own skin and to understand why Ariel does what she does. It’s especially notable at the end. In the beginning, he advised Triton to keep a firm grip on Ariel when he asks if he was too harsh. At the end? He advises him that children have to be free to lead their own lives, which is what convinces Triton to grant Ariel legs. It’s a really nice character arc and this along with Sebastian’s two spectacular musical numbers leaves no question as to why he’s so beloved.

But what’s a great film without a great villain? For that we get one of the best, Ursula the Sea Witch. She is a fantastic villainess. She’s a large octopus woman who used to work in the palace, but for reasons unknown got banished. In early versions, she was going to be Triton’s sister which would have added a VERY twisted dynamic to the whole thing. Maybe that’s where they got the idea for Scar in The Lion King… anyways! Her design was based on Drag Queen Divine who was also going to be the VA for Ursula, but she sadly passed away of an enlarged heart before any recording to be done. After going through various performers, the production staff settled on actress Pat Carroll, who did a spectacular job. You can just tell that she is loving every single second of this role, and she has always happily returned whenever they need new Ursula material like in House of Mouse or in the parks. Just listen as she goes off the chain in Poor Unfortunate Souls that is some amazing acting.

Ursula is confident, manipulative, and a true actress. Her entire gimmick is manipulating vulnerable, insecure people into making deals with her. Deals that are pretty much impossible to keep and thus, she claims them as hers and adds them to her ‘garden’. She targets Ariel specifically because of her passion for the surface world and since she likely knows of Triton’s hatred for it AND of his anger problems, she’s just waiting for the day he screws up and Ariel is vulnerable. I’m gonna go MUCH more in depth with this when we get to Ariel, but this is SO important to note. Ursula struck when Ariel was hurt, emotional, and not thinking straight. It shows just how manipulative she can be. This is who she preys on. She knows how to sway them to act how she wants them to. She’s a saleswoman, and BOY does she sell it. It doesn't help that she gives Ariel very little personal space and manipulates her feelings for Eric to be further swayed. Yet Ariel is the stupid one because she was manipulated by a master manipulator… patience Callie, you’re gonna be able to let it out soon enough…

Ursula works so well as a villain because of how smart and manipulative she is. Like I said, she knows how to prey on the vulnerable and insecure. But she also knows when to get herself involved. After Ariel almost kisses Eric on the second day, Ursula disguises herself and uses Ariel’s voice to hypnotize Eric. And even though Scuttle and his undersea army humiliate her and Ariel gets her voice back, she bought just enough time for the sun to set and the spell breaks. Ursula won. She captured Ariel, forced Triton to sell himself to save his daughter, and claimed ultimate power. It was a truly methodical plan that ultimately succeeded. You gotta give her props for that.

Don’t make any mistakes though. While Ursula is intelligent and confident, she /is/ still evil. I’ve seen people say that she should have won just because they don’t like the ‘abusive tyrant’ Triton. Aside from what I already said about Triton above, Ursula is shown to be far, FAR worse. I mean… I hate to use the term, but she essentially s***-shames Ariel throughout Poor Unfortunate Souls. I mean she outright calls her a ‘little tramp’ after the canoe scene, which in this context is a G-Rated way of calling her a s***. To a sixteen year old. Yeah… plus we saw how power-mad she went once she got the triton, and it didn’t bode well for either land or sea. Triton’s temperamental, but he isn’t a tyrant. Ursula’s only redeeming trait is that she DOES care for her henchmen Flotsam and Jetsam, and their death at Ariel’s hand is what provoked her to go mad with power. This was ultimately her undoing as she was so focused on tormenting Ariel that it allowed Eric to take his ship and kill her. It’s a pretty gruesome Disney Villain Death (we outright see her SKELETON FLASHING at one point), but she brought it upon herself.

If you asked me what villain helped shape many of the ones we got during the Renaissance… I’d say Professor Ratigan from The Great Mouse Detective. But Ursula was the first Renaissance villain, and she started it off right. She’s enjoyable enough that we love it when she’s on screen, but still detestable enough that we want her to lose. Many complain about doing ‘purely evil’ villains. That villains HAVE to be sympathetic or nuanced, otherwise they are poorly written. While there’s nothing wrong with sympathetic, or even redeemable villains, having a purely evil one is also perfectly fine. Disney is the master of this. Ursula’s motivation is strictly to gain power, but it works because they give her character so much personality and charisma. Petty motivation, but excellent character writing that makes us not mind. I’d say if you want to learn how to do a Pure Evil character right, study Ursula in particular along with Jafar and Hades. They’re all great examples of how to do it right.

Finally we come to our leading man, Prince Eric. So far the Disney Princes have acted more as a necessity than anything. It’s as I said in the Sleeping Beauty Review, Florian and Charming fill out a plot point and while he was more proactive in comparison, Phillip fell into the same trap. Did Eric finally break the curse? Well… yes and no. He's a firm middle ground between ‘necessity’ and ‘actual character’. He’s allowed FAR more than any of the other princes thus far. Eric is a seasman, he loves going out on the ocean in his ships. He’s adventurous, good-looking, and an overall nice guy. We see that he isn’t really into fancy stuff, outright cringing when Grimsby unveils the statue. He also isn’t interested in Grimsby trying to set him up with various noble women. Like Jasmine and to a degree Prince Charming, he wants to find love for love, but on his own time. These are the traits that attract Ariel to him. Plus he’s also heroic, going back to a BURNING SHIP in order to save his dog Max… yeah I’d fall in love with him too.

After Ariel saves him, Eric becomes determined to find her. But he only briefly saw her face and heard her voice. Funny how NO ONE gets on Eric for this while hating on Ariel, but again we’ll get to that soon enough. When he meets Ariel he recognizes her face… but since she can’t talk, assumes that she can’t be the mystery girl. Still, being a good person, he takes her back to the palace to give her shelter. It’s not long before he becomes endeared by her though. She’s pretty, sweet, and even though she can’t talk he has a good time showing her around the kingdom. It's so clear by /Kiss the Girl/ that he has fallen for her, to the point that even Grimsby points it out to him. It gets him to give up on the mystery girl which is VERY important. It shows us that Eric didn’t fall for Ariel because she happened to be the girl he was looking for, but because of who she is as a person. It shows the audience that his feelings are genuine which makes us further root for him and Ariel… too bad that Ursula goes and ruins it.

As far as personality goes, Eric is more fun than his predecessors, but he’s still stuck with the standard prince-like personality. He’s given more lines than all of them combined and has a real charm to him. You can see why Ariel would like a guy like him. He’s kind, fun, adventurous, and even a little rebellious. He is her ideal vision of what humans are like. The end of the film lets him prove himself as well, going out to help Ariel despite the danger and of course using his own ship to kill Ursula. It does cause Ariel to be a bit of a Damsel in Distress, but she DID save him much earlier and she stops Ursula from blasting him to smithereens, so it balances out. It was enough to prove himself to Triton, at least. So Eric is a nice step up as far as princes go, but we’re not quite out of the well with them yet. But it won’t be much longer, heehee XD

There’s other supporting characters that I really don't have much to say about. Ariel’s sisters are nicely designed, but ultimately bland. I think the series and Ariel’s Beginning did more with them, but otherwise there’s not anything to discuss. Grimsby is fine enough, being the closest thing that Eric has to a parental figure (where ARE Eric’s parents in all of this anyways?) and is stuffy, but otherwise a decent guy. Chef Louie is… crazy. That’s all that I can say. This film has a lot of characters, let’s put it that way. But of course, we have one more to go over. The titular little mermaid herself. I’ve been hinting at this throughout the review, so I think you all know exactly how this will go…

Ariel Analysis

I cannot stress enough how massive a step Ariel was for the Disney Princess line. As much as I have defended the Classic Three and standby all of that, there is certainly some repetition going one with them. All three are beautiful, passive, and can’t directly do much to accomplish their dreams. And at least two of them are dreaming mainly about a man, which is NOT a bad thing, but it was certainly getting old. Feminism has also been evolving since 1959, the last time a Disney Princess film came out. A lot had changed in those thirty years. Women in media could now be more proactive, take matters into their own hands, and have their own hopes and dreams that weren’t just about love while still being allowed to find love. Simply put, as much as I love Snow White, Cinderella, and Aurora, the times had changed and it was time for Disney to get with those times. Thus we got Ariel, and she was exactly the right princess to take the line into a whole new direction.

The beginning of the film is a pretty clever way to set her up. The Classic Three are known for being angelic singers, and for good reason. It’s pretty much the first thing they do when we meet them (well, as an adult in Aurora’s case) so the concert sets this up. It’s Ariel’s ‘debut” and her sisters all have the looks and angelic voices that fit the archetypal Disney Princess. But then the shell opens up… and is empty. Then we cut to Ariel, who is about to go inside a sunken ship to look for surface world artifacts. It is an excellent subversion, setting up a Classic Princess move and flipping it on it’s head. It’s shown very quickly that Ariel is adventurous and actively seeking out her dreams despite her situation instead of trying to just make do with the way things were and hoping for the best. We also get a fun sequence of her and Flounder escaping a shark, so first time a Princess got an action scene as well.

The film very quickly establishes Ariel’s love and fascination with the surface world. Exploring sunken ships, going to Scuttle to get more information, later we see her grotto that is filled with so many items that we would consider standard, but that she considers treasures. These mean so much to her. She finds the surface world ‘wonderful’. But there are setbacks and consequences for her actions, in this case her forgetting about the concert. She didn't mean to and feels bad about it, and Flounder mentioning the reason why didn’t help. It’s clear that Ariel and Triton have been arguing about this for a long time, the latter failing to understand how much this means to Ariel and is at his wit’s end. His demands for her to stop upset her, causing her to storm out of the throne room and head for her grotto.

This leads to Part of Your World. This song/sequence is vital to understand Ariel’s character. This is the song where she expresses all her hopes and dreams. How she wants to be human. How she wants to learn more about the surface world. How she wants to experience things like walking down a street or finding out how a fire can burn. Throughout the film, we never learn how Ariel got so interested in human culture and just why she’s so passionate about it. But we really don’t need an in-depth explanation because this song conveys so much sincerity and emotion that it makes us believe in her passion. We understand how much this matters to her, and in turn it makes it matter to us. It’s why if it had gotten removed, it would have robbed Ariel of this depth and in turn, rob the film of something essential to its story. Thank God it remained intact.

This is a good time to talk about Ariel’s voice actress, Jodi Benson. Having originally been in Howard Ashman’s failed musical Smile, she was brought in originally as Ariel’s singing voice before being promoted to also doing the speaking the lines. This was not only her voice acting debut, but as far as I can tell her film debut as well. She did such a lovely job in the role. She perfectly conveys Ariel’s passion, drive, and sincerity while still coming off as a sixteen year old girl. Her singing voice has been rightfully praised, and to this day Ariel is often considered the best singer among the princesses. Benson has gone on to do other voice roles such as Barbie in the Toy Story films, Patsy and Ms. Doe in Camp Lazlo, and Aquagirl in Batman Beyond. She has continued to reprise Ariel to this day when needed and has always expressed so much love and gratitude for the film and her part in it, She’s also supported others who have done the role like Auli’i Cravallho (aka Moana) for the ABC Musical and Halle Bailey for the upcoming live-action remake. She’s a lovely woman and may she continue to do well~

Going back to the film, Ariel finds herself at a ship and this is where she sees Eric for the first time. It’s love at first sight. Of the Renaissance Era Princesses, Ariel is the one who gets the ‘love at first sight’ critique levied at her the most. Belle and Mulan of course didn’t have that issue and I usually see Jasmine and Pocahontas be given a free pass in this regard. Now of the five, The Little Mermaid IS the most blatant with the trope, but let’s look at it through Ariel’s POV. This is the first time that she’s seen so many humans up close. Eric is around her age (to my knowledge, at least. His VA was 16 at the time IIRC). It is very quickly established that Eric is jovial, uninterested in things like statues in his image, rebellious as he has rejected all the women Grimsby has arranged him with, and wants to find love for himself. He has many of the traits that Ariel herself has, being a rebellious, free-spirit teen herself. But most of all he is heroic, as demonstrated when he goes back to his burning ship to save his dog.

In other words, Eric is Ariel’s ideal vision of what people are like. She saves him from drowning, the first time that a Princess has saved her Prince, and is able to look at him more closely. She is clearly infatuated and seeing this man, this good-hearted, handsome young man who is everything that she ever dreamed of. This is what pushes her from just dreaming about being human to swearing that somehow she /will/ be human. Yes, she gets motivated by love, but the goal was there before this moment. It just became a solidified goal. One that she is going to make a reality someway, somehow. She even notes in the Part of Your World Reprise that she doesn’t know when or how, but it doesn’t matter. Compared to how fleeting her hopes were in the main song, the reprise is so much more triumphant and determined and continues to show just how important this truly is to Ariel.

Sadly however she still has one obstacle in between her and her dream; her father. The next day she is so happy and lovesick and it’s really cute, but Sebastian knows that this is going to cause major issues with her father. His big Under the Sea plea goes ignored, and Ariel is led to her grotto by Flounder, who has brought her the Eric statue. She’s so happy and acting like… well, a teenager in love. But unfortunately due to Sebastian jumping the gun, Triton finds out and he is enraged. Not only is he angry that Ariel again went to the surface, but she both saved and fell in love with a human. Thus we get the dark scene of Triton, in his rage, destroying the grotto. Every item, treasure, and relic that Ariel has gathered for who knows how long has become nothing but a pile of dust. Including the statue of the man she loves. 

Say what you want about ‘love at first sight’ or Ariel being a lovesick dummy, but this is outright traumatizing. This sixteen year old girl, a girl who aside from forgetting a few engagements has done nothing wrong, had all of her hopes and dreams shattered by her own father all because of his own blind hatred. Imagine being a teenager and your parents destroying everything you love all because they hated something that you loved. Even if Triton regretted it, it doesn’t change the pain that he inflicted upon his own daughter as she breaks down. She’s so upset that she rejects Sebastian trying to apologize and just tells him and Flounder to go away. They comply, leaving Ariel to cry in her now bare grotto… that is, until Flotsam and Jetsam appear.

So.. let’s now talk about Ariel going to Ursula and accepting the deal. First, her going in the first place. When Flotsam and Jetsam bring Ursula up, Ariel… /refuses/ to go. She is aware that Ursula is bad news. She had no intention of going to her at first and outright tells the eels to leave. What makes her agree? The two knocking the remains of the Eric statue in front of her. At this point, Ariel’s pretty much been rejected by her father and all of her treasures that kept her seabound are gone, so… what’s she got left to lose? She follows and naturally Sebastian tries to stop her, but she just angrily tells him to get her father since he’s good at that.

Ariel enters Ursula’s domain, and we come to the scene. Ursula declares to have changed, demonstrates her power, and offers Ariel the deal to become human for three days and it’ll be permanent if Eric kisses her. If Ariel fails, she not only becomes a mermaid again, but she belongs to Ursula. She also has to give up her voice as payment. Now we all know the big criticism against this, that being Ariel selling her voice and leaving behind her family and all that she ever knew and loved… for some prince that she hasn’t even really met yet, let alone spoken to. Now do I see why people dislike this? Yes. It’s a very rash, very stupid decision not just for those factors, but the fact that Ariel is essentially selling herself to the devil for this one thing. None of this is a good thing… but here is the big question, does the film do enough that this makes sense for Ariel’s character? Is this something that I can see her doing?

Yes, yes I can.

Let’s look at this piece by piece. First, Ariel is clearly uncomfortable the entire time that she is in Ursula’s lair. Ursula continuously gets into her personal space, laying on the manipulation at every step. When she lays out the deal, Ariel is at first hesitant. She herself brings up that if she takes it, she’ll likely never see her family again. She’s also hesitant when Ursula lays out the terms of payment, not just because she has no idea how she’d woo Eric without it, but just the concept of losing her voice clearly unnerves her. Look at her face when she grabs at her own throat, she is NOT okay with this. Even when Ursula begins to create the brew and poof sup the contract, Ariel isn’t excited or just jumps to it without thinking. She is VERY CLEARLY hesitant and unnerved about everything. 

So… why does she do it then? Well remember, she’s still emotional after her confrontation with her father. Her father has rejected her in her eyes and destroyed everything that she had worked for. At this point, her dreams and feelings for Eric are all that she has. She is hurt, emotional, and desperate and when we are hurt, emotional, and desperate we tend to make rash, even outright stupid decisions. Especially when we’re teenagers. Ursula waited to strike at this very moment for this exact reason; so that Ariel wouldn’t be thinking rationally.  These are the exact kind of people that Ursula preys on, and as I said above, she knows how to manipulate them to act how she wants. She gives Ariel the offer of her dreams, assures her that she can woo Eric without talking, poofs Eric’s image up at one point, and makes it clear that she’s giving her very little time to think it over. 

With absolutely nothing left to lose and it being clear that her father will never support her dreams, Ariel reluctantly signs the contract. She outright turns her head away when she signs. She KNOWS that she’s making a big choice and she isn’t 100% okay with it. She didn’t just give up her life callously for a man like some like to make out. It was a rash choice, but she had reluctance and fears about it. But it’s the only chance she’ll get to get her dream of being human and being happy, which is what ultimately drives her to make her choice. Given how she risked her life already against a shark, this is in-character for her and shows how far she’ll go for her dreams. And as we’ll see, this is going to have consequences as we near the end of the film.

So the deal is made. Ariel loses her voice and is transformed into a human. Once she makes it to shore, she gets to see her new legs, and for the first time since the confrontation, is happy. She has legs. She is human. The one thing that she had wanted for so, so long has finally come true. Naturally Sebastian wants to get Triton, but she stops him and gives him the saddest, most pleading look that I think I’ve ever seen. This is Ariel’s one and only chance to get what she dreamed of. Triton would not only stop her, but considering what happened before, who knows what else he’d do if he saw her as a human. It is 10% understandable why Ariel doesn't want him involved, especially once it would just lead her back to a life of misery. Sebastian realizes this and agrees to help her, which pretty much gets her to forgive him for what happened before.

Thus, we get to the first true meeting between Ariel and Eric. Of course, Ariel can’t explain who she is because of her voice being gone, so Eric assumes that she can’t be the same girl he saw despite her looking like her. But he sees her in the makeshift dress that Scuttle got her into and assumes that she’s shipwrecked, especially since she can’t walk well. So he takes her to the palace, and Ariel is able to get refreshed and get used to walking on legs. She is clearly delighted by everything. She is now part of the world that she longed for,, and she is loving every second of it. Sure she quickly finds out that forks aren’t combs, but hey she’s learning exactly what she wanted to learn. She is in utter bliss throughout the two days that she’s on the surface, doing thinks like learn to dance and ride a horse-drawn carriage. It’s all she ever hopes it would be.

But of course, Ariel still needs to get Eric to kiss her, or all of her dreams will end. She almost makes it with Kiss the Girl, which despite not being able to talk she made it pretty clear that she was willing and ready for Eric to kiss her. Ursula ruins that, but Ariel HAS endeared herself to Eric and he even prepares to go to her after giving up on the mystery mermaid. But of course, Ursula disguises herself as Vanessa via Ariel’s voice and hypnotizes Eric into marrying her. It’s sad because when Scuttle informs her of the proposal, Ariel is elated. She runs down the stairs, excited and gleeful… then she sees Eric and Vanessa, and you can see her heart break in two. It especially hits hard as she watches the ship take off, broken-hearted. She’s lost the man she loves, in moments she will be a mermaid again, and she will belong to Ursula fair and square. She pursued her dream, and it all seemed for naught.

But once Scuttle finds out about Ursula, Ariel quickly springs into action. With her friend's help, she reaches the ship just as Ursula’s necklace gets broken. This is a nitpick but I don’t like how Ariel ultimately wasn’t very active in helping rescuer Eric. Tbf IDK what she could have done, but I’d have liked to see her stand against Ursula before things go downhill. Otherwise it feels like this and the other events after… kind if feel handed to her by convenience and luck. But regardless she gets her voice back… but she fails to kiss Eric before the sun sets. That’s right folks, the so-called selfish, stupid deal that Ariel made? She failed to uphold it. She reverts to a Mermaid and now belongs to Ursula, and Triton can’t break it as it’s legally binding. So even if you DO think that Ariel made a bad choice, the film shows that yes, it WAS bad and she is now paying the consequences. Sure Triton sacrifices himself to take her place, but that still means that Ursula not only gets power, but her father is now a husk.

Ariel is enraged at this. Despite everything, I don’t think there’s any doubt that Ariel still loves her daddy. She was reluctant about never seeing him again before, and now seeing how her deal has lead to his fate upsets her. One big issue with Ariel is how… well, the film doesn’t make it clear that Ariel grew or learned anything. Sure there are consequences to her actions, but we don’t see her ponder over them. This is the closest we get to her showing regret as she tries to apologize to Triton and outright attacks Ursula for what she did to him. But she doesn’t express true regret for her actions. She doesn’t have a true reconciliation with her father so that the two can reach a resolution. I guess we can blame timing since we’re in the final ten or so minutes here, but it makes the end feel… convenient.

Eric saves Ariel from getting blasted by Ursula, and she manages to save him from Flotst and Jetsam. How? Bu yanking Ursula back and causing her to kill her own minions. Sure it’s not the Big Bad, but again Ariel marks a First in Disney Princess History by indirectly killing a villain. This provokes Ursula to go kaiju and essentially torment Ariel, who is unable to do anything at this point as she’s caught in a raging whirlpool. While one CAN say she’s a Damsel-in-Distress here (hence why I suggested Ariel should have gotten to do more in the wedding crash), she HAS saved Eric twice now. Plus by allowing Eric to kill Ursula, he essentially proves his worth by saving both the ocean AND the surface, and it contributes to Triton’s ultimate decision.

So yeah, Ursula dies, Triton corrects his wrongs by making Ariel human, and Ariel and Eric can live happily ever after. As I said, it /does/ kind of hurt Ariel’s character as she doesn’t really learn a lesson and it feels like she got incredibly lucky at the end. But at the same time Ariel is still a good character, and she marks a LOT of progression for the Disney Princess line. Sure she is a little selfish (though she usually means no harm), but she’s also someone who actively goes after her dreams. She doesn’t have to wait for it, nor does it center on love. Sure Eric is the catalyst, but that’s it. A catalyst. She’s allowed to rescue her prince. She’s allowed to fight against the villain. Sure she’s still emotional, falls in love, and needs her friends help. But she is also a very proactive, curious, and ambitious girl. Her dream was by far the most impossible of the Princesses thus far, but she still managed to achieve it.

Ariel is divisive, and I get why. The film DOES have some narrative problems (minor, but still) and I get why Ariel may rub some the wrong way. Me personally? I love her. She was a refreshing breath of air in the Princess line. She’s different from the Classic Three. She’s a bit more bratty and far less classy, but she also feels the most like a teenager and she follows her dreams in a very different manner. She’s still a good-hearted person, but she’s a flawed person. That’s what I love about her, she’s imperfect. Could more have been done to develop her? Maybe. But her flaws aren’t so bad that she’s a bad character or unlikeable. Her actions make sense and stay true to her character. I understand why she does what she does. I care for her because I see the sincerity in her. I relate to her longing for something that seems out of reach. And while it was nowhere near as conflicted, I know what it’s like to be in conflict with my father who loved me, but never truly understood who I was. But I loved him, he loved me, he ultimately would have let me lead the life I wanted, and in the end that’s what matters. It’s why Ariel and Triton at the wedding always makes me cry. Yeah, watching this two years after my dad passed… really hit hard.

The point is, I cared about Ariel. I related to Ariel. I did when I was a child, and I still do as an adult. Anyone who loves something or someone despite everyone around you not understanding or being against it I think can relate to Ariel and her position. Plus again, she set forward a new direction for the Disney Princesses. It’s a precedent that stands strong to this day. I’ve done my best to shed light onto Ariel, but it won’t convince everyone. If you hate her, fine. I can’t change your mind and tour free to make all the arguments you want. But I’m allowed to stand by my argument, and I am. Ariel is one of my favorites. She inspires kids to follow their curiosity and their ambitions. It teachers parents to accept their children and who/what they love, and to let them go forward in their lives. One can even argue that her film teaches kids to be careful when emotional to avoid the mistakes that she made, but still achieve a happy ending as well. Either way, I think that the hate against this little mermaid is far too harsh and it ALWAYS centers on the deal without taking anything else into account. It’s time we change that.

Final Thoughts

I love this film. The animation is lovely, the music fantastic, and despite a few issues here and there the story is sound. I don’t remember when I first saw it (it came out four years before I was born so not then), but I’ve loved it since that first time. I’m pretty sure I love the ocean and mermaids in general because of this film. Sure it diverts a good deal from the original Hans Christian Anderson story, but honestly? As someone who found that story unnecessarily cruel? I will take this version any day (no offense to those who like the original story, this is just me talking). It is a masterpiece that changed the game for Disney, for animation, and for the Disney Princesses. Ariel was very much a huge inspiration for many of her successors, and I am grateful for all that this little mermaid did.

Upon its release, Disney was FINALLY able to step into the light after spending over 20 years stuck in the dark. The film was a monumental success. The biggest success that Feature Animation had had since Walt’s days. They also finally beat Don Bluth, winning in the box office over All Dogs Go to Heaven, and returned to the top of the animation world. The Disney Renaissance had officially begun, and it wasn’t even close to slowing down. Just two years later, another Disney Princess film would be released. One that would achieve greatness, but also face great tragedy. So come and be our guest as when we return, we discuss a tale as old as time with 1991’s Beauty and the Beast.

Image Sources: Disney Wiki, Animation Screencaps Other Sources: The Making of The Little Mermaid: Treasures Untold

[scientistowengottlieb-newtkelly]

Thoughts and feelings about Pacific Rim 2?

you sure you wanna open up that particular can of worms?

movie review time! be warned i'm not in a good mood as i am shaking in pain, however this review would have been scathing regardless. and none of this is to say pacific rim is perfect, it's not, but... aye, i have no words for the world of difference there. oh wait! i do:

so. first and foremost, i hate it. as both a movie and a sequel. did i find it entertaining? yes, mildly, so i suppose it did its job, however the only thing that keeps me watching it is because, simply, it's part of the pacific rim franchise whether we like it or not. therefore, i squeeze as much salvageable content from it as i can, such as how one might analyze the precursors, how we are to view hermann and newt as characters pre-, during, and post-uprising, what we are to expect from drifting (though this one i take with a grain of salt, there is a whole other rant preserved for the joke of an attempt to develop that shit within the movie)

one of my biggest issues with pacific rim is really simple: it plays out like DeKnight did not watch the first fucking movie or was scrolling through twitter while doing it and decided he'd make a cash grab since the first one was relatively popular. "haha the kaiju were going for mount fuji the whole time!!" bitch no they weren't!!! why the fuck did they end up anywhere near sydney, australia, then!!! why did they turn tail on places like manila and san fran instead of heading straight for japan!!! WHY DID THE ONE THAT WAS IN JAPAN NOT SUCCEED, THERE'S NO WAY WITH THOSE MARK 1 JAEGERS THEY'D HAVE BEEN ABLE TO REASONABLY FIGURE OUT THEIR PLAN AND WHERE THEY WERE GOING IN TIME TO STOP THEM!!! newt literally lays out what they are doing in the first movie and they completely ignored that!!! not to mention, if the destruction from elements found in mount fuji would have been enough to terraform the earth, WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST FUCKING DO THAT WHEN THEY WERE SUPPOSEDLY ON EARTH AGES AGO??? THERE WERE VOLCANOES WITH THOSE SAME ELEMENTS BEFORE RIGHT NOW, VOLCANOES ARE NOT A RELATIVELY NEW THING EARTH CREATED SUDDENLY AND I WOULD IMAGINE NEITHER ARE THOSE ELEMENTS!!! IT MAKES NO SENSE!!! and.... okay the fucking drones. how did those bitches make breaches??? we know the breach is some result of precursor/kaiju technology, apparently they know the breach's atomic structure as hermann said in the first movie, but how tf some kaiju organs and tech from earth only is ALL it takes to open a breach... illudes and confuses me... why were no more breaches made by the precursors once they realized how long and how many resources it was taking to kill the humans off??? if it's??? shit they could do with simple earth materials + their own biology??? they could have ended things much faster??? shit just doesn't add up, idk, that was Vague and Annoyed Me

and the jaegers.... were....... strange? the fight scenes were so underwhelming, i could count on one hand the number of maneuvers—NOT SCENES, MANEUVERS—i thought were badass and moved well. their fighting was confusing and paced really weird and some of the moves they pulled... don't... work like that... like some of those scenes were just hand-to-hand combat but in big robot form and they didn't sit right with me at all.

and the characters......... oh my word, the characters. look: i love jake pentecost with all of my heart and soul and john boyega's beautiful acting just barely saves the movie from its poor writing. i do love him as a character. but can someone explain to me why in the world they thought it was a good idea to make the only black guy a black market thief/runner, deep-record criminal with daddy and authority issues, and who they dare try to play off as some kind of lazy??? they made him every stereotype they could and said "yeah let's go with that". i'm- aaaaaaaaaaaaaa and what was with the child soldiers??? ROBOCOPS?????? mako....... character assassination at its worst........ my baby......... but the movie was paced so GOD DAMN POORLY I GOT BORED AND LITERALLY MISSED HER DYING THE FIRST TIME I WATCHED IT. and i couldn't tell you the names of half of those poor damn kids, i really couldn't. and can i also say they killed off one of the only two darker skinned kids?? like y'all???? the other darker skinned kids (one of the children i can't remember the names of because it was uttered ONCE in the entire movie or some shit) didn't even GET characterization. my whole heart goes out to her and those other underdeveloped fucks. speaking of...... i am ashamed about jules. from the movie that brought us the mako mori test, they threw in a girl simply for the sake of some shitty, awkward, and unexplained love triangle between jake and White Angst without much else to put to her name. she deserved better. amara was... a decent shot, but very hit or miss because of the writing. i, personally, am very neutral about her leaning towards liking her, but i know people who swing love and who swing hate. liwen was like,,,, they tried really hard to make her unlikable at the beginning because "oh no, she must be the villain! GOTTEM plot twist!!!" and then suddenly she's no longer. threatening everyone except newt. idk i feel like they leaned to heavily one way and i got whiplash when she's actually another but there was nothing to... portray that. at all. i do like her character, and that says a lot because they got me to sympathize with a capitalist without actually regretting it later, but there could/should have been More there. she was powerful, though, in multiple different aspects, and we saw that from her CONSISTENTLY and i 😳🥵👀💕 mako mori test pass for her

now, let's talk about hermann (and by extention, newton, however he'll be getting a section all his own the rat bastard). that man is one of the single instances of decent cross-movie characterization i saw in the whole god damn film. the idea that he takes on newton's roles, that he is more outspoken for himself, that he is just slightly more unhinged after his drift with newton: THAT is on point. he's himself, you can see it, you still know that he's hermann with ever step, but there's something that has shifted in him in those 10 years and it's good without being too much. the "i still get nightmares" scene, the way he presents himself, that scene gives me chills because god bless burn gorman and his acting ability. every face and intonation of his voice is just wonderful and i think his performance was great for what he was given. king shit.

the biggest disappointment of my life came in the form of a kaiju vest wearing bitch at work. at his corporate job. as a boss. for a tech company that undermines all of his and, frankly, hermann's work over their lifetimes. 10 years older and exaggerated to the teeth. newton "move you fascist" geiszler. let me preface this by stating for all to see that i do not hate the idea of newton being the villain. story wise it was a bold move and there was something possible there. BUT THE IMPLICATION THAT ONE OF THE MOST OBVIOUSLY NEURODIVERGENT CHARACTERS IN THE WHOLE FUCKING FRANCHISE, ESPECIALLY GIVEN THAT HE HAS BEEN CHARACTERIZED AS HAVING A "BORDERLINE MANIC PERSONALITY" AKA HAVING ONE OF THE MOST DEMONIZED MENTAL ILLNESSES OUT THERE, ENDS UP ACTING AS THE GOD DAMN VILLAIN OF THE STORY IS A HOT GARBAGE TAKE WHEN YOU FACTOR IN THINGS LIKE POOR WRITING NOT MAKING IT CLEAR WHETHER OR NOT NEWTON IS EVEN IN CONTROL OF HIS OWN FACULTIES AND THE VAGUENESS OF "WILL HE BE 'REDEEMED' OR NOT" BEING UP IN THE AIR LIKELY NEVER TO BE CANONICALLY FUCKING ANSWERED BECAUSE BECKHAM AND DEKNIGHT SHAT OUT A MOVIE THAT BOMBED IN THE BOX OFFICE. we aren't even gonna TALK about the fact that this bitch got AWAY with it despite not even acting in a remotely stable way comparable to himself in the first movie in the 10 years he supposedly dropped off the map from all of his friends because, clearly, hermann hadn't seen him or he wouldn't be so excited with a picture of the two of them on his desk, nor would he have to tell newton about his idea for rocket thrusters with kaiju blood fuel because he would have simply written to him about it. for some strange reason people see his ass show up decked out in a suit he wouldn't even wear for Stacker Fucking Pentecost and a behavior of "Haha Gotta Listen To The Boss" and think "ah, yes, well, time changes a person. THIS BITCH HAS APPARENTLY BEEN LIKE THIS THE WHOLE TIME, YOU THINK HE GOT A JOB WITH LIWEN LOOKING AND ACTING LIKE HE DID BEFORE AND THERE WAS A SHIFT OVER TIME? NO, HE HAD TO HAVE CHANGED IN A SPLIT DECISION AND LIED ABOUT HIMSELF THROUGH HIS TEETH AND NO ONE CONTACTED HIM, OR WAS WORRIED ABOUT HIM, OR DECIDEDLY THOUGHT "YOU KNOW, HE MAY BE EMBOLDENED THAT HE SAVED THE WORLD, BUT I THINK SOMETHING LIKE THAT WOULD HAVE THE EXACT OPPOSITE EFFECT ON HIM AND HE WOULD DO HIS BEST TO AMPLIFY HIS CURRENT STANDING TRAITS. LISTENING TO AND KISSING THE BOOT OF AUTHORITY FIGURES? DIVORCING HIMSELF FROM HIS WORK WITH KAIJU XENOBIOLOGY THAT EVEN HERMANN PICKED UP? TO BECOME THE THING HE HATES? AND FOR WHAT? MONEY? FAME? BITCH WHO ARE YOU?" unreasonable. ridiculous attempt to do this just for a plot twist that was underwhelming at best. i've decided to stick to the fan theory that he was not in control 99% of the time but literally that movie causes such a hellfire path to appear in my wake as i think about it because i know people who don't take it like that and think newt wants what's happening because "haha horny kaiju man" and i wish to scream at the top of my lungs because this is exactly WHY you CANNOT spare ANY EXPENSE to the GOOD, PROPER, INTRICATE directing and writing of a character who is neurodivergent and also ONE OF THE CENTERS OF NOT JUST THE MOVIE YOU'RE WRITING, BUT THE FUCKING MOVIE AFTER THAT. i could go on but i sincerely don't fucking want to, despite how long i've been waiting for someone to willingly hear me out on all of this. all i'll say is if by some miracle they are greenlit for a third film and deknight's working on it and i see ANY sign of a bury your gays end for newt, i'm going to commit the first hate crime against a cishet white male.

to end, the only valid kaiju in that movie was the mega-kaiju, i don't remember the appearance or the names of the three that got through the breaches but the mega-kaiju could kill me and i'd die happy 🥰 beautiful design, that scale comparison when it came face to face with newt? amazing, chills, *chef's kiss* there are exactly two things i liked about uprising and that bitch is one of them.

sorry if this isn't what you wanted, but as i said i am in a bit of a bad mood and have been curled up in bed trying not to think that i'm dying and i've repressed all of this for a couple months now and very few people have actually heard PORTIONS of my frustration so. here it is.

[404fmdminjung]

aesthetic & headcanon — art muses

summary: she loves art, but not in the ‘haha funny i love art and i’m so artistic and creative look at me sense’. the aesthetic highlights her top three current favorites — agnes martin, giovanni boldini and egon schiele. all for various reasons, but she uses them as muse in terms of things musically and visually when she does get time to sit around and paint. she doesn’t get excited about much, but you bring up artists to her and take her to a museum that houses these artists — done and set, she loves you already. (headcanon on elaboration on what she loves about the artists / more artists that she admires). warnings: none wc: 906

as i’ve said it before — minjung is not one of those “haha i love art, i’m so pretentious look at me i’m so creative and artistic” type muses. yes, she does love art but it’s more of a familiar feeling the art brings her and she actually has a real appreciate for the fine details / lines, and keeps track of her favorite pieces — aka, she has it written down when certain cities have specific exhibitions that she wants to go to. (kinda big brain, but you know — minjung has the biggest brain out of my three muses).

she buys art pieces with the money she makes — yes it’s a shit load of money, so she has very few real pieces.but she spends because 1) they’re investments / not taxed in korea 2) the pieces mean more to her than any other superficial items she’d buy otherwise.

 agnes martin — the american abstract artist.

minjung really loves agnes martin because of how well and tasteful the minimalism is inside her subtle changes in the works. there’s geometric patterns such as grid work that becomes a commonality throughout all her pieces —but the part that gets minjung the most? is that each line and brush stroke is hand drawn. she doesn’t think she’ll ever be that steady, but she can only hope.

the geometric pencil lines are her favorite!! there’s a softness to pencil / graphite, and the way it often smudges across the palms of hands. yet, there is none of that to the point where it is eerie perfection inside agnes martin’s work.

the last thing she gets inspo from is the coloration — a lot of the colors are often muted, pastels. imperfections that almost mimic watercolor. however, minjung knows watercolor is a hard medium because of how unpredictable / uncontrollable it is. agnes martin is a genius for keeping the small imperfections and keeping it perfected and crisp. 

giovanni boldini — the italian portrait painter

to be fair, she doesn’t actually like boldini’s actual pieces always on display. she’s a fan of his sketches, and how it inspires her own sketches. his actual works are too finessed to her liking, and often takes the ‘oohs and aahs’ from the crowd. what she fell in love with was his sketches

a portrait painter, there was always a detail when it came to facial definition. even in his sketches, he would do very impeccable work by grabbing all the details and honing in on them, only to leave the outlines of the body in lines — this juxtaposes the differences between the face versus the body, and she likes that disparity.

often his works take in a lot of neutral colors with pops of pink whereas his sketches are primarily in black and white with pops of watercolor — maybe, seo minjung is just a sucker for the mixture of graphite and watercolor but it just amazes her how so much detail can be done in showing expressions and cheekiness through the face while leaving the body almost subjected to the background.

because of boldini, she often experiments with this graphite / watercolor mix.

egon schiele — austrian figurative painter

he’s probably one of her favorites if not most. yes, gustov klint is all fun and games but she thinks egon takes the cake as his protege one upping him all the time.

his line work is out of this world (i hate this saying, but literally she does not take any inspiration other than his lines). the lines he uses she hopes to inspire the lines inside the sketchbook she has.

the one line drawings in the present, she takes that all as an ode to egon schiele and wonders why people don’t appreciate his linework more. i think she started doing a lot of one line work (for fun, and for friends who just want a special drawing on their walls) but always 

she also enjoys the subtle pops of color — aka the often times oranges and red, the warm vibrant colors he adds into his figures. 

the faces arent often realistic, nor are they ‘aesthetically pleasing’ to look at but the beauty of mangled faces and people drawn gholish — that’s her ish. his sensual nature of his work also inspires minjung a lot when she’s inspired by him.

jenny saville — the english flesh painter

she LOVES jenny savile!! this is mainly because of saville’s works on the human body and capturing each curve and roll to maintain realism

the coloration of human flesh is done so perfectly in minjung’s opinion. 

along with that saville explores more gory aspects? blood, human face — captures the bruised and swollen details with the perfect colorations and overlap of brush strokes. it’s this perfect harmony portrayed inside the paintings that makes minjung fall in love with saville each time she sees a new piece

yes, some times the bodies are overdrawn and over-exaggerated to look grotesque? but it’s that morbidity in the realism that she appreciates so very much about saville

i’m gonna shut up now because this sounds really ridiculous to go on about why minjung loves certain artists. however — i will mention there are a few honorable mentions she’s not particularly inspired by but does see the beauty in how they’re publicized on mass platforms.

honorable mentions: warhol, basquiat, rothko, picasso, piet mondrian, and yayoi kusama.

[percival-queen]

Mun likes symbolism and The Little Prince jokes went way too far: a guide

{Special thanks to @stardemon39 for wasting an incredible amount of energy on figuring out my dumb dream symbols!} {LONG POST BELOW}

{For those of you who don't already know, for the past... idk... WHILE, I’ve been dropping cryptic hints about Percy’s dreams— particularly one consisting of a lot of imagery of yellow/gold roses, red foxes, and snakes in the grass! The first clue to deciphering literally any of this— which, interestingly, stardemon39 never once mentioned— is that all the imagery comes from the fairy tale of The Little Prince, yet another symbol that’s been talked about on this blog. We already know from Percy that, fitting to her name and manner of being portrayed, she is The Little Prince. But what do the other symbols represent?

Let’s start off with the easiest one— the rose. In The Little Prince, the Little Prince loves a rose: she is the first relationship the Prince has, and for a while, the only relationship he has. However, she unintentionally harms him with her thorns (which, as an anon pointed out, is in and of itself symbolism for the words she uses to protect herself from getting hurt). I thought this fit pretty well overall with Ramsey, and Percy’s first experience of loving someone outside her own family— especially considering he’s a criminal who starts off hurting her just by his way of living (think back to the thread where he broke out of prison and showed up beaten at her doorstep). However, the most important thing to me when devising this symbol was the color of the rose. The original rose in The Little Prince is red, and the Prince’s relationship with her is romantic. (It’s a fairy tale, don’t ask.) However, you all know my Percy is very firmly romance-repulsed, and I needed a way to distinguish that I was not taking anything in a shippy direction considering roses themselves are usually associated with romance. So after a bit of double-checking my flower meanings, I decided to explicitly make Ramsey’s rose yellow— or, as Percy retcons later, gold. Yellow roses (and flowers in general) are the symbol of friendship, and gold just so happens to be like a very intense version of yellow. This was perfect for me, because it links the flower directly to Ramsey, while also showing Percy’s state of mind regarding him: she knows she doesn’t feel romantically about him (red), but she’s not used to the experience of friendship at all (yellow), let alone one that’s so strong it transcends the usual color scale (gold).

TL;DR, Percy realizes that Ramsey means a lot to her, but struggles to put her feelings into words because they don’t fit with any of the relationships (normal flower colors/meanings) she was raised with.

Now we get a bit messier. I’ll confess that I DID briefly consider assigning BOTH the rose and red fox title to Zora— but I realized that while some of the rose’s themes fit her, the only reason I thought of the fox was because Zora herself matches with the stereotypes of a fox (cunning, tricky, clever), which all fit with the snake motif later anyway. Besides, the red fox had a much better match in the context of the story: Meryl. There are a few traits of the fox which suit Meryl well— the fact her hair is, in fact, red, added with how the fox wishes to make friends with the Little Prince (incidentally, because the Prince’s hair is “golden like wheat,” and will give the wheat-fields pleasant meaning for him), while the Prince himself is originally hesitant— but the most important key here is in the quote Percy once spoke to an anon:

“To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world . . .”

This is, essentially, how Percy views Mundies. It’s already pretty obvious at this point that she uses Epithets to recognize people, not to mention her beliefs about Inscribed being “chosen” as those worthy of gifts to serve others with (a belief further explained by Parapet). But her recent encounter with Meryl— which has been in the works for a long time— has started to give her a new perspective on that. She realizes, in one of those “oh, this should’ve been obvious, but I was too wrapped up in other thoughts to care” moments, that Mundies have unique personalities, strengths, and weaknesses, too— and that maybe she doesn’t hate Meryl’s as much as she thought. Allowing herself to “tame” anybody is risky, because then “[she] shall need [them],” but with Meryl, it’s even more profound, because accepting Meryl is a person is giving her a clear identity rather than just another Mundie/coworker/innocent. “To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world . . .”

TL;DR, Meryl forces Percy to recognize that all people (including Mundies) are unique when you get to know them, and that forming a kinship inherently adds to their value from a personal stance.

Which, finally, brings us to the snake in the grass: Zora. The snake in The Little Prince is a trickster, much like many snake stereotypes, but I found that it could give a more impactful meaning when you consider that before Zora, Percy never questioned her beliefs. Yes, she was always gullible, but as far as morals were concerned, she saw the world in black-and-white. It was Zora who forced her to think differently on this matter, and it’s Zora who she can’t bring herself to harm even though she has and continues to kill people. A sort of tragic reckoning; the Prince is never as wary of the snake as he should be, and continues to be drawn in by his words despite the danger. Not to mention, we have literally seen Zora as a snake before! And I’m not even the one who sent in that M!A!

Of course, with the end of the fairy tale in mind, what does this mean for the future...?

...Like I’d ever spoil that! But one thing is for certain: Percy should learn to recognize her own feelings, or she’ll be running into battles blind. :)

TL;DR, Zora twists Percy’s way of thinking and also represents an inherently dangerous foe, who Percy continues to encounter and treat on neutral ground even though that poses immense danger in every conceivable way— for better or for worse.

ULTIMATE TL;DR: MUN SPENT WAY TOO LONG MAKING UP SYMBOLS FOR NO APPARENT REASON BESIDES THE INHERENT AESTHETIC OF FAIRY-TALE SYMBOLISM.}

[incorrectikemenrevolution]

Alice the First and Cradle

In Ikemen Revolution, we are told by Blanc, “the thing is, ‘Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland’ is more than just a story - it’s real” and “Some time ago, a person with the same powers as you lost their way here. I’m sure you’ve heard of her; her name is Alice... Yes, Alice from ‘Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland’ was our first ever visitor from the Land of Reason.” Knowing this, I’ve researched the book and it’s characters to come up with some theories about Alice. I also relied on what Blanc has said about her, as I believe he was alive to meet her, as it is often implied that he is very old. I want to present to you my theories and see what you all think. (For those interested, most of Blanc’s quotes can be found in the prologue, the chapter titled: Wonderland and Magic Crystals)

Alice

As for what I think Alice was like, I believe she is much younger than Alice the Second (who is implied to be in her in he mid to late twenties). In the novel, Alice is believed to be only Seven years old. While I’m not sure if she was that young, I do believe she was either a teenager or a young adult, as Blanc says, “The first Alice was quite the mischief maker, running around breaking magic spells left and right”, implying that she could have been very youthful.

I also believe that Alice wrote the book as a strained truth. Blanc says, “There are no talking animals, ghastly beasts, or armies of cards here”. We see many major didferences in Cradle and the Land of Reason, largely including the use of Magic Crystals in Cradle. I believe Alice recognizes the dangers of revealing another world to the rest of the Land of Reason, and made the novel into one that seems to be entirely fiction. However, it is true that the novel does tell a true story because of Blanc’s previous statements.

The tricky part is when do I think Alice was in Cradle. Based on what I’ve found, I believe Alice landed in Cradle 100 years ago. Although the book was published in real life in 1865, which is around the time of Alice the Second (the prologue starts by mentioning that it was the nineteenth century), I believe Alice was in Cradle in the 1700s because of how the book lines up with things mentioned in the actual novel. In Edgar’s route, it is revealed to us that 100 years ago, a Jack of Hearts was put on trial for attempting to overthrow the Red Army. In the novel, Alice attends a trial held by the King and Queen of Hearts because the Knave of Hearts (Knave being another word for a Jack, in relation to cards) stole one of the Queen’s tarts. However overthrowing the government is much different from stealing a tart, as I said before, I believe Alice strained the truth of the story to make it more unrealistic and less believable, as it could prove dangerous.

Now, something I thought about for a while was the publication date. Blanc mentions, “You can only imagine how surprised I was to find out that the story of her time here was published in the land of reason.” To me, this sounded like the book was published much longer after Alice was actually in Cradle. For this I looked into the origins of the story itself. The story originated as a tale the author told to a group of young girls, including Alice Liddell. It is debated wether or not the Alice in the novel is based off of Liddell, but for my theory I assume that she is. Sorry goes to say that Alice told the author to write the story down for her. Now, for my theory, I believe that Alice the First told her stories about her time in Cradle to those close to her, and eventually had it written down. Women’s writings were often ignored for a long time, so I believe that the story was stored away for a long time, only to be rediscovered and eventually published under a different author 100 years later.

Cradle

Another thing I thought about was what Cradle was like during Alice’s time. Obviously, the Red and Black Army we’re still around during the time, as the fighting began 500 years ago. However, I believe that Alice did not have many encounters with the Black Army, as she mainly refers to the Red Army in the novel. Now, I want to explain some of the characters in the novel and their relation to Cradle.

Queen of Hearts

However portrayed as the villain in many adaptations, the Queen of Hearts is merely an obstacle in Alice’s adventures , not an adversary. I do believe that the Queen of Hearts was a woman, and not a man like Jonah, but that she did not serve in the military. It is described in the book that the Queen was the monarch of Wonderland. I believe that the Queen of Hearts was the center of all things politics, as she often called for executions.

King of Hearts

As with the Queen, I believe the King of Hearts was also mainly a political figure, as it was written in the book that the King often tried to calm the Queen and resolve all of the executions that she ordered. I believe that this shows how the King was not so much of a soldier as he was a strong negotiator and political leader. However, as the head of the army, I do believe that he watched over and made decisions in terms of military command. As for when things switched and the King and Queen joined the military, I believe that was a result of the Jack of Hearts’ trial, as he would be the head of the soldiers and was placed with another occupation on top of the military.

The White Rabbit

As I said before, I believe the White Rabbit was actually Blanc. However, his role was very different back then. In the novel, the White Rabbit worked under the King and Queen of Hearts, and I believe that Blanc did work under the Red Army at some point, as he was appointed Cradle’s Official Record Keeper. I don’t believe that a random civilian would be given such a valuable role in society, despite his age. I believe that he was appointed his role under the Red Army, and later left the army. I believe he left after Alice left Cradle because he was often described in the book as often coming to Alice’s rescue, despite being a very nervous man when around her. I think this shows that Alice had a major impact on Blanc, and that because of her influence, he left the Red Army.

Gryphon

Although not a character in the game, Gryphon is an important character in the book because he was the one that explained Wonderland to Alice. I believe that he was the neutral character before Blanc left the Red Army as he helped Alice many times, but did little to interfere with other characters. I think that he passed away shortly after Blanc became neutral as he was often described in the book as coughing often.

What do you guys think about my theories? I’m curious to know what you guys honk and what you’ve come up with!

[mommy-and-leader]

How Henrietta Lacks’ Story Taught Me How to be a More Compassionate Leader in Healthcare

The story of Henrietta Lacks is both a story of miracles and of tragedy. The history of the HeLa cell is truly the stuff of scientific miracles. However, the story of Henrietta Lacks, the patient who unwittingly donated the cells, and whose family has suffered as a result, is heartbreaking. In reading Rebecca Skloot’s best-selling book, I admit that I read the story through the eyes of a leader in healthcare. I was ready to defend my field and my peers in the field. However, as I read both the personal story of Henrietta Lacks and the Lacks family, as well as the story of the HeLa cell, I was astonished at the amount of betrayal I felt as a warrior of science. Many criticize Skloot’s book as reminiscent of a novel, and problematic in the way that she reports it like she sees it- from sexually transmitted diseases, child abuse, abusive marriage, child molestation- Rebecca leaves no stone unturned in her ten-year mission to learn about Henrietta Lacks and her contribution to science.

Christoph Lengauer, the first scientist that was willing to speak with the Lacks children, said it best by stating, “Whenever we read books about science, it’s always HeLa this and HeLa that. Some people know those are the initials of a person, but they don’t know who that person is. That’s important history” (Skloot, 2011, p. 266). Rebecca Skloot’s book was successful in uniting the person, Henrietta, with the cells. The cells were not the only important discovery in science. The story of the person was important for healthcare and could teach us a lesson about being a compassionate caregiver in healthcare.

Critics state there are problematic elements in Skloot’s portrayal

In a poetic analysis of the book, Lantos (2016) reinforces the idea that Skloot’s book further exploits the Lacks family in its overshare of private details of their lives, namely Deborah’s abusive marriage and divorce, the imprisonment of her children and details of the crimes, and even the amount of Deborah’s social security check. Daniel Podgorski, a literature reviewer for the Gemsbok, comments on Skloot’s exploitative position relative to the Lacks family, stating that she, however, tells an important and even story (Podgorski, 2016). Podgorski (2016) states:

Skloot adopts a neutral tone throughout her book and presents the facts of the cases and lives involved evenly, and, in doing so apolitically, manages to expose the inextricable story of racial segregation operating above and with scientific progress in the twentieth century without sacrificing journalistic integrity…she presents all people in her book as part of this one grand narrative of humanity, each a character as in a novel, susceptible to moral and critical judgments by the reader, and a human being, and so representative of a faction of reality (Podgorski, 2016).

While most of the Lacks family disagrees, two Lacks men have come forward regarding their feelings of contempt toward Rebecca Skloot, and HBO, who produced the film portrayal of Skloot’s book. Bustle reports that Lawrence and Ron Lacks (Henrietta’s son and grandson) feel exploited by Rebecca in the same way that they felt exploited by Johns Hopkins. “Skloot portrayed the Lacks family as falsely uneducated and poor. ‘She made us stereotypes…people think we’re dirt poor’” (Truffaut-Wong, 2017). Lawrence Lacks even goes on to tell the Bustle reporter, “It’s bad enough Johns Hopkins took advantage of us. Now Oprah, Rebecca, and HBO are doing the same thing. They’re no better than the people they say they hate” (Truffaut-Wong, 2017). However, the article goes on to give a comment by HBO, stating that the film had overwhelming support from many Lacks family members.

In my reading of the book, I found a number of details cringe-worthy in their honest horror, and I admit that they horrified me as a woman and as a mother. First, there was Day’s character as a young husband and father. Early on in the book, in Chapter 1, Day is painted as an adulterer (Skloot, 2011, p 13) and later on, it is explained that the sexually transmitted diseases he passes on to his wife, Henrietta, are the reason why her cervical cancer is so aggressive. Later, in Chapter 15, Deborah’s physical and sexual abuse by her uncle, Galen, is another one of those details that breaks your heart and keeps you up at night. You wonder if you can do without hearing these atrocities suffered by this family. Then you keep reading on and get to the part where Day, her father, did not protect her from this incestuous monster (Skloot, 2011, p. 113) and you want to both kill Day again and embrace Deborah in all her suffering. This rollercoaster of emotion keeps you reading voraciously and really humanizes this family.

While I do agree that these details are of a very private nature, they served their intended purpose in conveying the message that Henrietta was a real person. She is not just a cell. She is a real woman who had a real family- who are still alive today- and still suffering from the aftermath of the notoriety of the HeLa cells, which were taken without Henrietta or her family’s consent, and have changed the face of medicine (and made millions since their theft). What makes a person or a family more human than the reality of their flaws?

How the story helped me in my role as a leader in healthcare

This story is not only an exposé of all of the skeletons in the Lacks family closet, but it was a discussion on racial disparity and medical mistrust in the African American community, and of informed consent, or the lack thereof, for Henrietta and the Lacks family. It was the story of any and all of the above. As an African American woman visiting a public ward in the 1950s, Henrietta had no choice when it came to research, as was the same with all the black patients at Johns’ Hopkins’ public colored ward (Skloot, 2011, p. 29). This was the era of racism, segregation, and Jim Crow laws. Black patients had no choice but to trust the word of their doctors, and not many words came from these doctors. They weren’t informed of many details of the treatment for Henrietta’s cervical cancer, nor were they informed of the cells they took from her in research, nor were they informed of the fruit of those cells- a medical revolution.

These cells crossed the world. In 1952, they were the first living cells shipped via postal mail. They helped develop the polio vaccine, the cervical cancer vaccine, and many drugs. They were the first cells ever cloned and were also the first cells ever hybridized with the cells of an animal- a human-mouse hybrid. The discoveries were endless and are still being made. The fruit of the research of the HeLa cell was ample, and the financial gain was enormous. However, this was all unbeknownst to the Lacks family. In fact, they were unaware of the existence of these cells until 1973- more than 20 years later! It wasn’t until 1975 that the Lacks family knew of the immense contribution to science and the commercialization of the cells after a reporter for Rolling Stone interviewed them and published a story about Henrietta Lacks. Their mother’s cells now had a name, and a family, and her medical history was out for the world to read about.

This is what pulled on my heartstrings. As a medical professional, I am a bleeding heart. I regularly encounter some of the most vulnerable sick people who just need someone to take care of them and often to advocate for them. Here was this woman- a poor and educated minority who just wanted to trust her caregivers- who died at the age of 31. She left behind a family of many small children, one of whom was disabled. That family defined struggle. They were uneducated, poor, and struggled into adulthood. Henrietta needed a caregiver, an advocate. Her children needed this, too. When they learned of their mother’s cells and notoriety, they felt deceived and rightfully so. Here they were struggling from health issues of their own and could barely get medical insurance- yet their mother’s cells created much of what we think of when we think of modern-day healthcare. Where were the Lacks’ caregivers? Why did no one in the medical field feel that they needed to be taken care of, in their vulnerability?

 With this lesson of bioethics and medical mistrust: How do we prevent this from happening again?

Though Henrietta’s contribution to science was immense, it was done without her consent or the consent of her family. When Henrietta was identified and her family was made aware of the enormity of this situation, the Lacks family was still kept in the dark. The scientific and medical community continued to take advantage of the Lacks’ by deceiving them into giving blood to further their research into Henrietta’s genome and disguised this as “cancer testing” (Skloot, 2001, pp. 183-189). There were so many opportunities for the medical community to make this right, but no one stepped up to bat.

So how do we make sure that this never happens again? First, we need to remember why we went into this field- to help others, to save lives. Some of those that I have worked with in healthcare are caregivers in every sense of the word- they are bleeding hearts and some of the most moral and ethical people that I have ever met. Physicians down to nurse’s aides, almost everyone I have worked with have come into this field to make this world a better place by helping those that we can. As a leader in the field, this is an important trait that I look for in all members and prospective members of my team. In order to prevent this from ever happening again, we must convey a culture of ethics and compassion. By selecting and hiring ethical employees and fostering ethical decisions by acting ethically and helping your employees act ethically, you instill a compassionate and compliant environment (“How Managers”, nd). Talking through decision-making and being seen as a moral authority are important to convey an ethical and compliant culture in your organization.

As a caregiver in healthcare, it is always important to put yourself into the patient’s shoes. What if this were you? What if this were your mother? Always treat the patient as you would like for your family to be treated- or like you would like to be treated, yourself. Always be an advocate- just because you understand doesn’t mean they do. Informed consent was a big deal in this book, and it is a big part of the mistake that we do not want to be duplicated. It is important to talk through every diagnosis, every treatment, every procedure, until they understand. It is good practice to make sure that they can reiterate and explain it back to you. Informed consent is not only a form to be signed- it is peace of mind for both the caregiver and the patient.

Conclusion

In The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, Rebecca Skloot goes into detail regarding Henrietta and her family’s life in order to tell a story apart from the story that was currently understood as conveyed by science- the story of the HeLa cell. By separating the story of the HeLa cell from the story of the Lacks family, Skloot effectively conveys the ramifications of the HeLa cells’ scientific contributions and commercialization on the Lacks family. Rebecca Skloot’s portrayal of Henrietta Lacks and her family may have been intense, but that intensity was key in conveying the central idea of the abhorrent treatment of the Lacks family by the medical and scientific community. This book was meant as a lesson, and I hope that the whole field hears it loud and clear.

    References

How Managers Can Encourage Ethical Behavior. (nd). Lumen Learning: Principles of Management. Retrieved March 8, 2020 from: https://courses.lumenlearning.com/wm-principlesofmanagement/chapter/how-managers-can-encourage-ethical-behavior/

Lantos, J. D. (2016). Thirteen Ways of Looking at Henrietta Lacks. Perspectives in Biology and Medicine, 59(2), 228-233. Retrieved from https://search-proquest-com.contentproxy.phoenix.edu/docview/1876059666?accountid=35812

Podgorski, D. (2016). Creative Journalism: American Race Politics, Perspective, and Shifting Culture in The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. The Gemsbok. Retrieved from: https://thegemsbok.com/art-reviews-and-articles/tuesday-tome-immortal-life-henrietta-lacks-rebecca-skloot/

Skloot, R (2011.) The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. New York, NY: Broadway Books

Truffaut-Wong, O. (2017). What Does the Lacks Family Think Of 'The Immortal Life Of Henrietta Lacks'? The Movie Portrays Their Heartbreaking Story. Bustle. Retrieved from: https://www.bustle.com/p/what-does-the-lacks-family-think-of-the-immortal-life-of-henrietta-lacks-the-movie-portrays-their-heartbreaking-story-51712