#however. i am still gonna try and not order from there anymore

[hanarchy]

i ordered take out for 20 bucks and got delivered a 80€ sushi order instead AND got a refund now

[wonijinjin]

in sickness and in health

author’s note: please take care of yourselves everyone! being sick is not fun. dedicating this to my dear @babyleostuff <3

synopsis: when you get food poisoning cheol is ready to sacrifice his night to take care of you.

word count: 1.0k | genre: fluff, comfort | pairing: cheol x gn! reader | warnings: mentions of throwing up, being sick, fever, exhaustion, bad mental health

it was around 12am when you realised something was wrong; you never really got sick, but you could feel it coming before it even happened; head pounding and shivers crawling up and down your spine, making you anxious. after a bit of panicking about why you felt this bad you calmed yourself down and went back to scrolling through social media on your phone, scared of waking and troubling the man next to you. seungcheol was already asleep by that time, being extremely tired from working since 3am, having been to several music show recordings and dance practices. you found him so peaceful as he slept and you were so glad to see him rest after many days of hard work. however as the minutes went by while looking at your phone you could sense an increasing nauseating feeling in your stomach, not being able to focus on the blogpost you were reading anymore, being too occupied with trying to make it stop and squirming under the blankets of your cozy king sized bed to make it more bearable. as if on cue to the peak of your struggles cheol stirred in his sleep next to your helpessly thrashing form, turning to you, his sleepy frame trying to process the cause of your distress. “what’s wrong, my love?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper. “don’t worry, nothing. go back to sleep.” you tried to sound as convincing as you could. he didn’t buy it. “love, i know something is up. tell me, please?” he begged, more alert when he saw how your protests were interrupted by a weak sob. “i think i am gonna throw up cheol.” you mumbled with a terrified look on your face, trying to stay perfectly still so your upset stomach could get some relief. seungcheol first thought that you were trying to pull a prank on him since you never got sick, but when he looked at your features closer he realised how pale you looked, and how sweat was glistening on your skin. “you sure? like right now?” he sat up in no time as the question left his mouth, ready to take you to the bathroom to let out whatever was making you feel so miserable. you didn’t have time to answer him whatsoever as you bolted towards the mentioned room, getting to the toilet just in time for the agonising pain and suffering of the next few hours to begin. in your hurry you had a hopeless attempt to lock the door in order to shut cheol out; you hated if he saw you in any other state than your most perfect one, if he saw your imperfections, how you felt unwell sometimes or how you struggled with life from time to time. he always scolded you for thinking this way, but you couldn’t stop it; you wanted to be his strong partner, someone who he could rely on whenever he needed to. “i am coming in.” you heard him say and suddenly you felt a warm hand on your back and another one taking your hair out of your sweaty face, snapping you out of your feverish daze. “i am here, you are okay, love. breathe for me please. that’s it, good. let it all out. don’t worry i am here.” you could hear cheol’s voice through your eardums, blood pumping in your veins with much more speed than ever. seungcheol held you close to him as you spat in the bowl one last time, making sure you were really done before placing you on his lap, your knees no longer hitting the cold tiles of the bathroom, only feeling his warmth surrounding you. “my poor baby.” his voice was low and hurt while he kissed your forehead, frowning upon sensing how your skin burned under his touch. “you are burning up. you definitely have a fever my dear.“ he announced, but you could barely register his voice and words; you were utterly drained, barely able to keep your head up straight.

cheol of course took note of this, gently guiding you to lean into him even more while he got comfortable on the floor, cradling you into his chest. “i know you don’t feel good my love. do you know how did this happen?” he wondered with concern laced in his words. you slightly shifted in his arms, looking up at him. “i think i might have food poisoning, cheol.” he cooed at you, kissing the top of your head, rocking you from side to side as you whimpered in pain. “it’s okay love. it will be over soon i promise.” he chanted softly in an attempt to calm you down as exhaustion took over you, the high temperature making you shake with chills no matter how close seungcheol kept your body to his. “love, you with me?” he questioned after a few minutes of silence, but didn’t get a reply; you fell asleep fast, totally knocked out from the sudden wave of late night sickness. he was relieved to see that your immune system was trying to get that much needed sleep to heal, although he was concerned about the effects of not taking medication before your slumber; he didn’t have the heart to wake you so he let you rest anyways.

he never stopped holding you through the night, not even when he moved you to the bedroom and got a cold towel to put on your head, moving a trash can beside your bed just in case, or when he stayed up all night to watch over your distressed form, wishing that you would get better by the morning, kissing your cheek from time to time to let you know that he was there, that he was gonna take care of you no matter what.

[vrisrezis]

Just the progression of rocket and y/ns relationshio throughout the movies? Like their relationship in vol1, 2, infinity war, endgame, holiday special maybe? and then vol 3?

Vol 1 :

You and rocket aren’t the closest automatically, I imagine rocket being very sarcastic towards you as he normally is with everyone else. I imagine rocket would find you attractive right away though, and would not shy away from nicknames like doll. He’d do it in a teasing way though, to not make it the most noticeable that he’s perhaps interested in you. However if you are like him and happen to be animalistic, he is noticeably a little different in terms of his sarcasm and he’s more likely to grow a soft spot for you quickly. However, you form a close bond after you comfort him in his drunken state, when he calls himself a monster. You have no reason to be so kind to him, after everything he’s done since the two of you met, so it strikes a cord in him. From on that point he’s noticeably softer and he might even start to gain feelings that are a little deeper than just initial “oh they’re hot” his feelings only growing deeper when you comfort him when he thought he lost groot. Again, doing something out of kindness when you don’t have to.

Vol 2 :

The two of you are close friends at this point, you’ve helped him raise groot. All of them had, but you especially. Nowadays, you often talk to him while he’s tinkering with random things. You become mad at him for stealing batteries, which leads to you joining quill and the others on his dad journey. You two separate for the first time since knowing eachother, and rocket is left to self reflect on himself (thanks to yondu). He’s able to realize he’s been pushing people away or acting like he doesn’t care for them, he even does so with you. Yondu tells him, if he really loves you, he should show it. I imagine he stopped acting like he didn’t care for groot after watching him almost die, so I imagine that when he sees you again, after that point no longer pretends he doesn’t care for you. He ends up confessing he cares for you deeply, and while his confession is obviously romantic, you take it as platonic. He does this right before you try to save quill, and you’re still persistent even after his confession, so he’s forced to tase you. After that though, the two of you do finally make up and he properly apologizes to you.

I am groot:

The two of you have an unspoken relationship. You two are very much like parents to groot at this point, and groot makes this very aware to the both of you. You don’t think much of it, as it makes sense since you’ve helped rocket so much in taking care of groot. However there seems to be an unspoken tension that gets even stronger because of what he’s told you both, called you both. Rocket is not only more aware of his feelings, he’s more aware that groot knows. Rocket knows he should do something about his feelings, but he stays silent.

Infinity war:

While he is once again sad to see the two of you separate again, it’s for the fate of the universe. You decide to stay with the morons in order to keep them safe, and rocket understands. It’s in your nature to be selfless and that you’d want to keep your family safe. Also, the fact rocket and groot are gonna be with the god of thunder certainly helps you feel more secure in the fact he and groot will be fine. Rocket casually demands a hug goodbye from you, growing more comfortable at this point for his feelings towards you without saying anything outright. Your relationship always seemed very friendly, but this time it feels more intimate and romantic, despite the fact neither of you have made your feelings aware to one another.

Endgame:

The two of you find solace in one another after the loss of your family. You end up dating over the course of the 5 years you two spent on earth together. After all the grief and pain, it’s something rocket simply could not keep to himself anymore. Especially since, he truly wants you to know he loves and cares for you, deeply. He thought for a moment you were gone too, before you came to earth along with nebula and Tony. He has made the effort since then for you to realize how much he cares. The two of you seperate, you deciding to help Tony, Steve, and others go back in time. Rocket bids you farewell, giving you a nice hug and a kiss. You two reunite after all is said and done, happy to see one another in one piece, as well as your family.

Holiday special:

Your relationship is a newfound development by the other guardians at this point, but mantis still manages to find you two adorable whilst everyone else is kinda offput by it at the moment. Not in a bad way, it’s just kinda new to them. You spend a lot of your time together this day, and eventually helping mantis set up Christmas for Peter. You gave eachother special gifts to one another, you granted him a special weapon designed by the people of wakanda, a weapon that can turn into any weapon at will. And what he got you? A necklace you loved that he broke… forever ago. He’s very embarrassed about his gift in comparison to yours, but you were still happy with it. Oh, and Peter was in a funny mood that day, so he even set up a mistletoe for you two to kiss under.

Vol 3.

Since you spend most of it praying your beloved isn’t dead, you don’t exactly interact with him specifically … very much. You go through hell and back just to make sure he comes alive okay, and he does. You embrace eachother the second you see eachother again, a very different embrace than any other hug you two gave one another. A mutual agreement that you’re both glad rockets alive. You fight together (albeit you’re a little protective of him), and after everything’s said and done, rocket is the captain. You’re still by his side, but now you’re following orders. In the past you would’ve made fun of him for suggesting he was captain, but now, it just feels right.

[just-jordie-things]

i've got my mind on you - gojo satoru

word count: 9.7k warnings: heavy drinking, swearing, mentions of a toxic relationship (not reader’s) summary: whoever said drinking to forget works is a goddamn liar a/n: I've just been listening to say yes to heaven by lana del rey a lot lately so the vibe is kinda there (but I wouldn’t say it’s a songfic per se)

___

“So what’s your plan? You’ve either got to slow it down, or come up with a plan”

A giggle, a hiccup, and then a goofy smile spread across (y/n’s) face, before she leaned over the bar and pulled the straw in her margarita towards her mouth.

“Well, hic-” She’s barely gotten any real sentences out in the last fifteen minutes, but Ieiri still tried to get through to her.  “I’ll pro’lly jus’ stay a lil’ drunk forever- hic- so that I never get hungover”

Ieiri rolled her eyes with that tiny bit of affection that she feels sometimes.

And if she was going to feel affectionate towards anyone, it was going to be (y/n).  She didn’t have many friends, but she knew they didn’t deserve it.  (y/n) however… was going through a tough time.

“You know that’s not what I meant,” She sighed, twirling her own straw around the ice cubes left in her glass.  “I meant what’s the plan with Satoru?”

For a moment, a three second moment, the hiccuping and dopey smiles halted, and (y/n) stared down at her half empty glass.

The whole point of coming out tonight was to forget.  To forget him and his stupid face and his stupid voice and his whole stupid self that she was so damn in love with that it just about blinded her.  She couldn’t think when she was around him, she couldn’t breathe when she was around him.  

And she simply couldn’t have that.

“The plan’s right in front of ya” (y/n) replied, giggling again before taking a few more sips of her drink.

“Your plan is stupid, then,” Ieiri huffed, leaning her elbow on the bar, resting her chin in her palm.  “So you’ll drink forever?”

“Mmmhmmm” (y/n) hummed through her straw.

“And what about work? You gonna drink there too?”

(y/n) hummed again, looking up at the ceiling as though she were actually pondering the idea.

“We teach kids, dumbass,” Ieiri rolled her eyes, this time with less affection.  “Seriously.  You have to have some sort of plan.  Distance? Or maybe…”

(y/n’s) eyes shifted sideways, just barely glancing at her friend from the corner of her eye.

“Or maybe what?” She asked, quietly, her eyes returning to what was left of her drink.

She wasn’t sure how many of these overpriced mason jar-margaritas she’d had, but it still wasn’t enough to solve her issue.

Maybe two more? She wondered.

“You could always confess” Ieiri shrugged.

(y/n) swore she could fall off her stool right now.  The whole room was spinning.  Or was it just her?

Am I that drunk?

“You’re delusional” She snorted, shaking her head, before sliding off her seat, steadying herself with her hands on the bar.

“I’m delusional?” The brunette repeats, like it’s the most ridiculous thing she’s ever heard.

(And she’s put up with Satoru’s shit for a long, long time, so she was quite familiar with ridiculous)

“I’m going to the bathroom,” (y/n) sighed.  “Order me another one of those, would ya?” She asks, gesturing to the empty mason jar on the counter.

Ieiri shakes her head.

“I’m sure they’re done serving you, ‘ya drunk” She says, punctuated with another eye roll.

(y/n) blows it off, trying her best to walk in a straight line towards the bathroom.  She wobbles a bit, but at least makes it there.

It’s empty, to her delight because she’s been swallowing a hot lump in her throat for the last half hour and she just can’t keep it to herself anymore.

Closing herself in a stall, she fell to the toilet seat and dropped her head in her hands.  Finally, a few tears could fall without the humiliation of being drunk and crying in public.

“Ya know, you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met?” He says with that grin on his face that should make her want to smack him, but instead she’s lost in it, mirroring it on her own face.

“And you know you’re the cheesiest person I’ve ever met?” She replies smoothly.

“You calling me a liar?” He asks, leaning in closer, narrowing the space between them even more than he already had when he’d approached her.

She was trying to finish up her paperwork, making copies for the Kyoto school in the small copy room they had.  Of course he cornered her in here.  Just to flirt with her and fill her with a useless hope.

And yet here she was, following that hope, like an idiot.

“A liar? Gojo, I would never,” She smirks, before turning around to pluck her copies off the tray.  “See ya”

But she can feel him shadowing her as she struts out of the copy room and off to her small office.

“Why do I feel like you’re looking for something?” She muses, fighting the urge to glance over her shoulder at him.

“Can’t a guy just walk a girl back to her office?”

“And what’re you protecting me from?” (y/n) hums, her eyes catching a figure making his way in the opposite direction.  “Nanami?”

“Please, leave me out of it” The blonde man mutters, picking up the pace to his office.

“Don’t worry Nanamin, I’ll fill you in later!” Gojo calls down the hallway, before skipping up to walk at (y/n’s) side.  “Where to miss?” He asks, folding his hands behind his back as he stoops low to be at her ear level.

“My private space,” (y/n) replies.  “Or did you intend something else?”

“Intend…? Oh, no sweetheart you’ve got me all wrong!”

She stops walking then, turning to him, her copies held to her chest and her brow raised curiously.

“Do I?” She asked, staring up at him intently.

He pauses for a moment, which interests her because it’s not often that the great Gojo Satoru freezes, and here he was frozen because of her.  A smile blooms across her lips before she pats his arm and heads off to her office on her own.

“See ya, Satoru” She calls behind her.

She shouldn’t have felt so victorious walking away from him that day.  Because at the end of the day, nothing changed.  Whatever playful banter they had would remain just as it is.  Nothing.

With tears streaming down her face, (y/n’s) hands shook as she typed the passcode into her phone.  Her mind ran wild with scenario after scenario in which she found herself giving him another piece of her.  Another flirty comment, lingering touch, a stare that lasted just a second too long.  It was too much.

A tear hit her screen as she was scrolling through her contacts.  With poor motor skills she pulled the sleeve of her dress over her palm to wipe away the moisture, frustrated when it only spread it over the screen.

When she was finally able to type on the screen, she was scrolling through phone numbers again.  It took a minute before her shaky thumb selected- almost haphazardly- what she was searching for.

It only took one ring before he picked up.

“(y/n/n)?”

“Ya know you’re a real downer, right? Ya know that?”

A small chuckle came through, which for some reason only ignited her frustration in the moment.  Of course Satoru would find this funny.

“And while on the subject of stupid things, what’s the point of using mason jars for margaritas? The- hic- ridges makes all the salt fall off and then it’s not even really a margarita at that point is it?” She rants.  “Fuckin’ lame- hic- is the aesthetic really worth it to people?”

“The aesthetic is lame,” Satoru agreed with another chuckle.  “Where are you, sweetheart?  A bar somewhere?”

Now she knew she was wasted, as she could’ve easily mistaken his tone for concern.

“Yeah -hic- somewhere,” She slurred out.  “You wanna know -hic- what else is stupid?”

“What’s that?”

(y/n) leaned back on the seat, the alcohol in her system sending her back into the upper holding tank of the toilet roughly.  To her luck, she didn’t feel the pain of the rough smack of the ceramic into her back.  However the quick movement did leave her feeling a little dizzy.

“Ah- fuck” She muttered.

“You okay?” Satoru’s voice came through the phone a bit muffled but the concern was still there.

“I’m fucking fantastic.  I’m faaantastic y’know?”

“If you say so.  What was the bar you went to again?”

“Dunno,” (y/n) sighed, tilting her head back.  “Did you guess?”

“Guess what?”

(y/n) giggles.

“You,” She answered for him.  “You’re the stupid one”

Satoru snorts before letting out a short laugh.  It was hard to tell if he was annoyed or entertained, but she was too far gone to notice or care.

“I’m stupid?” He asks, a teasing lilt in his voice.

“Yeah, you’re a total fuckin’ idiot” (y/n) sighed.

“You’re starting to sound like Kento,” Gojo laughs.  “I thought you went out with Ieiri”

“I did, she’s here.  She’s just still at the bar”

“You’re not at the bar?”

“I’m hiding in the bathroom”

“Hiding? Why?”

“I dunno.  I’m tired.  I’m tired of this”

It’s quiet on the line for a moment, leaving (y/n) to stare at the concerning green stain on the ceiling tile, her mind drifting off as she wondered what could have caused it, or how long it had been there.

“What’s goin’ on sweetheart?”

Why did he insist on calling her that? And why was it impossible to set fire to the butterflies in her stomach when he did?

“(y/n/n)? Ya still with me?”

“Yeah.  I’m here” She mumbled back, closing her eyes before the ceiling stain could make her nauseous.

“Look, I’m on my way.  Would you go wait with Ieiri? And drink some water?”

(y/n) sighs, before forcing herself to stand, only having to place her hand on the stall for a few seconds to keep herself upright.

“Alright,” She mumbles again.  “Fine”

“Drink some water.  See you s-”

She lowers her phone from her ear and presses the bright red END CALL before he could finish.  The alcohol was getting on top of her, and she was getting too tired to continue dancing this dance.

Stumbling out of the bathroom, she finds Shoko standing there next to the door, a water bottle in hand and a gentle smile on her face.

“You alright?” She asked, uncapping the bottle and handing it over to her.

“No,” (y/n) replied.  “Let’s just go”

Ieiri nods.

(y/n) can’t help but wonder where she’d gone so wrong.  Was it the first time they met? If only she’d ignored him, rolled her eyes at his flirtatious nature and walked away.  Maybe then she wouldn’t be stuck wallowing in self pity.  Fuck, was this ridiculous.

“Oh! And don’t kick yourself over Nanami not liking you.  He’s a nice guy.  Just a guy of few words, that’s all” Ijichi added a tiny piece of advice into his tour.  (y/n) chuckled.

“Good to know”

“And Ieiri is very nice, she’s a good friend” He adds, but this time there’s a slight pink on his face.  (y/n) laughs again.

“She pretty too?” She asks with a face splitting grin.  

Ijichi puts his head down, pushing his glasses up his nose and hoping the heat in his face would go away quickly.

And as (y/n’s) laughing to herself, tucking her hands into the pockets of the slacks, she catches sight of an odd, but indistinguishable character.

He’s walking in the opposite direction, with a phone to his ear, and he seems mildly annoyed from the way he shakes his head and waves his free hand around.  That’s the first thing she noticed.

The second thing she noticed was the sunglasses he wore, which was strange because they were inside, but she had to admit they were alluring, in that mysterious way.

She finds herself watching him as he walks closer towards them.  And she thinks that he sees her too, although it’s hard to tell with the dark lenses perched on his nose.

His hair was a shocking white, only adding to his allure.  (y/n) couldn’t tear her eyes off him if she’d wanted to.

And when he finally passed, all she could do was wonder to herself who he was.

She looks back a moment later, only to find him stopped in his tracks, phone still held up to his ear, but he was clearly staring at her now.  Her brows knot in confusion, watching him as still as she follows Ijichi down the hall.

Then he grins.  A wide, almost shit eating grin.

And despite herself, (y/n’s) face feels warm, and she can feel her lips tugging into a smile before she can even figure out why it is that she’s smiling back at him.

Turning back to Ijichi with eyes rounded from curiosity and a bit of excitement, she beamed.

“Who was that?”

“Maybe I should just get a dating app and settle down with the first eligible man I meet,”

Ieiri snorted in response, glancing up from her phone to give her friend a questioning look.

(y/n) slumped against the brick wall they had been standing at for a while.  It had been mostly silent while she was slowly drinking her water, and Ieiri smoked a cigarette.  Until now.

“I mean, there’s a ton of guys on there, right? So shouldn’t there at least be… like… a couple of hot ones?”

“I don’t know,” Ieiri sighs, crossing one arm over her chest while the other waves her cigarette around as she speaks.  “You don’t seem like the dating app type”

(y/n’s) brow furrows.

“Well, then what type do I seem?”

Shoko smirks, nodding her head off to the street.

(y/n) squints at her, before following her line of sight.  There she found a familiar black car pulling up to the curb.

Ieiri grins, expecting an elated reaction from her friend.  Instead (y/n) rolls her eyes.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me”

Gojo gets out of the driver’s seat, and jogs his way over to the wall.  With that stupid grin and those stupid sunglasses, (y/n) just wanted to tell him to get out of here.

“What’re you doing here?”

The white haired man laughs, tucking his hands in his pockets as he approaches the pair.

“I thought you’d be happy to see me?” He asks.

Her brows are furrowed and the annoyed look she’s trying to give him comes off as a pout, so of course he’s laughing.  His laughter pisses her off more.

She wants to tell him to get lost.  She wants to shove him by the shoulders until he gets back in that car and drives away so that she wouldn’t have to look at his stupid face anymore.

Stupid.

“She’s had a bit too much,” Ieiri breaks the silence.  “And she’s barely drinking her water”

Tattletale.

“I never knew you were such a party animal, (y/n/n),” Gojo teases.  He’s still smirking.  “Well let’s get ya home, hm?”

She doesn’t answer him.  He’s not sure if he’s been given the silent treatment, or if she was finally over the peak of her drunkenness- and now came the downfall of heavy drinking.  Either way, he’s slightly amused, as he’s never seen her in such a state.

There was the occasional work gathering, but they were few and far between, and at most they involved a beer or two.  Seeing (y/n) obliterated was a sight for sure.

(y/n) turns to Ieiri, her lips in a frown.

“Go on,” Her friend prompts in an uncharacteristically sweet tone of voice.  “You’re the one that called”

Stupid! (y/n) mentally face palms.  The conversation she’d had in the bathroom came back to her in hazy images.

“Fine,” She finally speaks, swiveling on her heel to face Gojo again.

He had jumped for a second upon her quick motion, because surely she was going to trip over the skinny heel on her foot, but she had faced him with surprising balance, not even a sliver of wavering in her body.

“Then let’s go”

He nods, moving to open the passenger side door without a word.  For a moment there, he thought he might have to throw her over his shoulder to get her to leave.  So this was a pleasant change in plan for him.

“Goodnight,” Ieiri calls with a wave.  “I’ll call you in the morning!”

(y/n) weakly returns the gesture, before Gojo shuts the car door.  He turns for a moment, just to give Ieiri a look.  Even behind his sunglasses, she knows the face he’s making.  She grins, before putting her cigarette out on the brick behind her, and heading off in the direction of her own car.

When Satoru gets into the car, (y/n’s) leaning against the cool glass of the window, with both of her hands wrapped around the seatbelt over her chest.

“You feeling alright?” He asks.

No response.

“If you’re sick, we can wait,” He suggests.  “I don’t want the drive to upset your-”

“I’m not sick”

Her words are small, and a little slurred, but he understood her nonetheless.

He nods, and puts the key into the ignition.

(y/n’s) eyes keep watch of the dark sidewalks they pass as he drives.  There’s few people out this late at night- she briefly wonders what time it even is- and the city seems so peculiar when it’s this quiet.  It almost makes her antsy, like the next corner they turn they’ll run into some sort of conflict.

But when he makes that left and it’s just another empty street, a calmness spreads over her insides.  She sinks down into her seat a little.

Gojo sees this, having kept an eye on her for the last few minutes they’d been in silence.  He waits for a minute, before he breaks that silence.

“Did I do something to upset you?”

She looks over at him, quiet for a few moments more as she tries to untangle her thoughts.

“Do you think you did?” She replies, thinking that’s the smoothest response she could have given him.

“No, I don’t,” He answers her straight away.  She frowns, because it’s the wrong answer and they both know it, but that doesn’t make it any less truthful.  “But then you called me, which you don’t do, and you called me names, which you sort of do, but you sounded really upset”

“Yeah” She sighs, before shrugging her shoulders.

Satoru waits for her to continue, his head constantly turning from the road to her, but she just sits there, clearly content with herself.

“Yeah?” He repeats, and he wants to scoff at her.  He wants to shake his head and call her childish and inconsiderate to his feelings because clearly she had troubled him.  She’d made him think something bad had happened, or he had hurt her somehow, he wasn’t sure what but she was the one that made him worry.  And now she wanted to sit there and shrug her shoulders and stare blankly at him like she couldn’t see the concern pouring out of him.

“Yeah,” (y/n) says again, but this time her voice was dripping with malice.  “I was upset”

His knuckles are white as they tighten around his steering wheel.  Sober (y/n) would have noticed, and probably called him on it.  Drunk (y/n) just glares him down.

“Okay, well, maybe you’d like to enlighten me then?” Satoru asks.  His throat is tight as he desperately works to maintain an even voice.

He can’t remember a time he’s ever been this upset with her.  He can’t remember a time he’s even been mildly annoyed with her.  But now here she is instigating and acting like-

No.

He looks over at her again, and although she looks like she could spit on him if he doesn’t choose his words carefully, his expression softens.  And soon after so does his grip.

He lets out a breath.

“Look, you worried me, okay?” He admits, keeping his eyes on the road.

When he looks straight ahead, she can almost see his eyes.  Something in her chest melts just a little bit.

“You never call”

“I don’t like phone calls” She mumbles in response.

“I know”

For a second, in her staggered breathing and slow blinks, she’s brought back to reality.  And the reality was Gojo Satoru knew her.  He’s known her for a while, and he knows her well.  And he’s here now.

She forces herself to look away, to go back to the window and try not to think about Gojo Satoru and whatever feelings led him to being here right now, driving her home.

And then it dawns on her.

“I can’t go back to my place”

“What?”

His neck was going to strain with how frantically he was looking from her to the road.

“I can’t go back to my place” (y/n) repeats.

“Yeah I got that part,” He clenches his jaw, and he’s racking his brain to remember some old breathing exercise Ieiri had told him about a long time ago.  His mind comes up empty.  “Why?”

“My roommate broke up with her boyfriend” (y/n) sighs, before leaning over in her seat, beginning to unbuckle the uncomfortable straps around her ankles.

“Okay?” Gojo’s shaking his head, desperate for context, but clearly (y/n) was more invested in pulling the heels off her feet.

“Oh, he lost his mind and trashed our apartment”

“What?”

“Yeah, broke all our glass dishes, ripped frames off the walls, it was insane”

“Did you call the police?”

“I was out, but my roommate did.  It’s fine, but my room is a mess still.  She’s been staying with her family for support”

“Jesus Christ”

“Yeah,” (y/n) sighed, leaning her head back against the seat.  “But she’ll be okay, I’ve got eyes on him,”

He glances over at her, just long enough to see a small smirk playing on the corner of her lips.

Right.  Her cursed technique.

“As soon as he has the intention of coming to that building again, he’s going to feel a very sharp pain on the left half of his body,” She hums, and then rolls her head to the side to look over at him.  “And that will be his spleen catching on fire”

Gojo lets out a low whistle.

“You’re gonna piss off the elders when he’s a medical mystery”

“Like you’ve ever given a shit what the elders think” (y/n) mutters.

He smiles to himself and doesn’t say anything more on the matter.

“Guess you’ll have to stay somewhere else then” He says instead.

“I’ve got a couch in my office that’s comfortable enough,” (y/n) shrugs.  “You can just drop me off back at the school”

“That’s ridiculous.  We’re not doing that”

(y/n) doesn’t say anything.  Her fingers curl around the heels of her shoes that she’s holding in her lap.

She turns her gaze back to the window, and keeps to herself the rest of the ride. ___

Rushing yourself when you’re already incredibly panicked was always the wrong way to go.  (y/n) knew that.  But slowing herself down would only make her more late.

Yet there she was, balancing her cup of coffee atop enough stacks of file folders to fill a whole cabinet, and running through the hallways at full speed.  Luckily years of rigorous training and acrobatics meant that her balance was impeccable.

Until a door opened right in her path, too close for her to stop herself in her tracks.

With a squeal her files were thrown up in the air as she threw her body to the side before she could run straight into it.

And like magic she caught all of her files, in perfect condition, not a single paper out of place.

“Ha! Yes!” She cheered to herself.

And just as quickly as she’d rejoiced, her shoulders slumped as she realized there was just one thing missing.

“Oh, no, my-”

“I think you dropped this”

She spun around upon hearing the voice of a stranger, and sure enough, there he was holding her paper cup, which was also perfectly intact.

But this wasn’t just any stranger.  This was the stranger that she saw yesterday on the phone.  With the strange white hair and strange sunglasses even though they were inside.

“Wow, thanks,” She breathed out, a bit embarrassed to have acted so crazy in front of him.  “Sorry for throwing it” She adds sheepishly.

“Nah, don’t be,” He replied with a nonchalant shrug.  “You must be (y/l/n)”

Something about him already knowing who she was only made her face feel hotter with embarrassment.

“Uh- yeah, just (y/n) though”

“Just (y/n),” The white haired man repeats with a click of his tongue.  “Gojo Satoru, most powerful man in the world, teacher, and now escort-e of women in need” He introduces.

Well, he’s clearly confident.

(y/n) chuckles.

“Well thank you, Gojo Satoru, but I’m sure there are women elsewhere in need of your services”

He seems thrown off guard as she plucks the coffee from his hands and places it back on her stack of folders.  With that she grins and heads back in the direction of her new office.

“You sure you don’t need help?” Gojo calls.

“Nope!” She hollers over her shoulder.  “But thank you! See you around!”

And just like that she was running off again, having not learned a single lesson.  But at least the mysterious and cute stranger she’d seen wasn’t a stranger anymore. ___

For some reason, she didn’t think to ask any questions when the car was parked.  She grabbed her shoes and unbuckled her seatbelt, just as Gojo had rounded the car to get the door for her.

It wasn’t until he was guiding her inside that she thought twice about their whereabouts at all.

This must’ve been his place.

Her suspicions were confirmed when he pulled out a set of keys and unlocked the door.  She turned to him with wide eyes, a protest on the tip of her tongue.

But his head jerked in motion for her to go inside, and she couldn’t come up with a good enough reason not to, and so she found herself waltzing in as though she’d been there hundreds of times before.

Which in fact wasn’t close to true.  She’d never been to his place before- neither one of them had ever been to each other’s places.  And now she’s standing in the entryway looking into the living room and she’s… nervous.

“Bathroom’s down the hall to the left,” Satoru speaks, gesturing lamely in the direction he’d given her.  “I don’t have any makeup wipes but uh there’s tissues?”

(y/n) stares at him for a moment, unsure what to do with this information.

“Is that bad?” Gojo asks, mistaking her confusion for judgment.  “I could go buy some makeup wipes-?”

“No, no,” (y/n) shakes her head, turning to head off.  “Tissues are, um, fine”

“Okay, great,” Gojo nodded.  “I’m gonna try and find something for you to sleep in, since, yaknow, obviously..”

She couldn’t see his eyes behind the dark sunglasses, but she knew they were tracing the little mount of fabric of the dress that clung to her figure.  Normally she’d find her hands tugging at the hem, pretending that would lengthen it.  But instead of hiding in embarrassment, (y/n) glanced down at herself, admiring the pretty dress she’d chosen for her night out.  Black did always suit her.

“I don’t really care what I wear to sleep in,” She says.  And then maybe the alcohol gets on top of her a little bit before she continues with, “I don’t normally wear anything”

“Go,” Gojo points towards the bathroom, forcing himself to turn and walk away.  “And help yourself to a glass of water while you’re at it”

With that she finally walked away, her feet sore from the heels she’d been wearing all night, and her steps were a bit staggered, but she made it to the bathroom just fine.

Once she was out of sight Satoru let out a sigh, pushing his sunglasses to the top of his head so that he could rub his eyes.

She clearly loved to torture him, by whatever means necessary.  And drunk (y/n) was rather cruel.

He’d yet to figure out what it was that had ruined her night, but he’d hoped that the playful change in attitude meant she was lightening up.

(Hoping she’d sober up didn’t seem probable, not until she passed out at least).

When he had texted Ieiri to try and figure out what (y/n’s) phone call was all about, she hadn’t given him any real answers.  Just to ‘be a grown man and figure it out himself’.  He’d tried asking her what the hell that meant but she set her phone to do not disturb pretty much after his first of many texts.

It wasn’t all that out of character for Ieiri to ignore him when he annoyed her too much.  (y/n) was the one acting out of character tonight.

Had she been upset with him for a while, and tonight was her breaking point? Maybe the alcohol got on top of her and she couldn’t contain her hatred for him anymore?

Satoru opened his dresser drawer a little more aggressively than he needed to, nearly pulling the whole thing clean out.  He sighed before carefully latching it back into place.

He just wanted to find what it was that he’d done so wrong. He was racking his brain of her behavior the last few weeks, trying to think of any little hint she could have given him that she wasn’t happy.  There was nothing that came to mind, she’d seemed her usual, happy, playful self.  Their friendship may have been based in nonsensical flirting, but it was a solid friendship.  She knew that he was there for her, right?

Staring down at the plain tee shirt and sweatpants that he’d grabbed for her, he wondered if that was the problem.  Maybe she was getting tired of his behavior.

The sinking feeling in his gut as soon as the thought crossed his mind told him that must’ve been it.

He hadn’t done anything, and that was just the problem, he hadn’t changed.  He hadn’t gotten better, which he should have, for her.

And he should have known this all along, because the minute he’d laid eyes on her he’d had a gut feeling about her.  He confirmed that feeling when they’d met, and every day since he’s found some excuse to be close to her, even if it meant bothering her, at least he’d get a smile with every annoyed eye roll she’d give him.

He held tightly onto the fabric in his hands.

He hadn’t been enough for her.

Something in him must have snapped, because with that thought he was heading right back out of his room.

And there was (y/n) standing in his living room, her back to him as she admired the only photo he had on the mantle.  It was an old picture of him and Ieiri, back when they were in school.  The picture was clearly folded, hiding someone behind itself.  It looked awkward in the frame, and he’d known for a while that he should just put a new picture in it, but he hadn’t brought himself to do so.

“I got you some clothes,” Satoru spoke, and (y/n) jumped a bit as she spun around.  “Sorry” He apologized on instinct.

“No, no I’m just surprised I didn’t hear you” She shook her head, before making her way over to him, taking the clothes from his hands.

She’d meant to take the offering and then leave, but something kept her there.  Maybe it was nerves, or maybe it was the fact that he’d left his sunglasses in his messy hair and she was able to look straight into his eyes, which was something that didn’t come around that often.

She thought maybe he’d say something, seeing as the longer the silence continued while they just stood there, the more awkward it became.  But he didn’t.  He just stared at her.  And he was the worst person to try to read, because he would never tell anyone what he was thinking, so there was never a chance in guessing.

With her teeth sawing into her cheek, (y/n) turns to make her way back to the bathroom to change.

Satoru waits in the living room, hands on his hips, in dead silence.

It remains silent when (y/n) returns from the bathroom, in a tee shirt that hangs on her like a dress and sweatpants that pool at her feet.  She looks like a toddler that had gotten into her parents’ closet.

Satoru can’t help but chuckle.

“Yeah, yeah.  Go ahead, make your jokes” (y/n) mutters, putting her hands up in mock surrender.

“What’s there to joke about?” He grins.  “It’s about time I got you in my clothes”

She raised a brow, crossing her arms over her chest.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

His grin falters, only for a moment, but long enough for her to catch it.  He just as quickly shakes his head, before pushing his sunglasses back down onto his nose.

“It means get to bed.  I’ll get you a glass of water, but you’ve got to drink all of it before you go to sleep, alright?”

(y/n) blinks.

“I’ll just stay here,” She says, elbow jutting towards the couch.  “Looks much nicer than the one in my office,” She adds, before taking account of the intricate details on the fine leather armrests.  “Probably costs more than the entire office actually” She mumbles.

“No, no, you’re staying in the bed,”

(y/n’s) not sure she’s ever heard him sound so firm.  She begins to think that she’ll just have to give in to the offer.

“Come on”

He beckons her to follow him, and without being told, her feet follow.  She finds herself walking on the tips of her toes, trying to remain as quiet as possible.

When they reach his doorway, she waits there, while he wanders in and pulls back the covers to his bed.

Even I have to admit that’s the most enticing bed I’ve ever seen in my life, she thinks, eyeing the plush comforter that covers the king-sized mattress.  Before he had pulled it open for her, it looked completely untouched.

“You don’t sleep here much, do you?” She asks as the thought crosses her mind.

She takes a few timid steps into the bedroom.

A small scoff escapes him before he turns back to her.

“Don’t sleep much at all”

She holds his gaze for a moment longer than she maybe should have, but she wasn’t expecting such a genuine, no, vulnerable, response.  It wasn’t often Satoru voiced how he really felt, but it seemed tonight he couldn’t help himself.

“Yeah,” (y/n) glances down at the floor, toes curling into the soft carpet.  “Me either”

With haste Gojo excuses himself from the room, muttering something about a glass of water.  (y/n) watches him go, feeling her shoulders slump.

Being left alone in his room makes a chill run down her spine.  It doesn’t quite feel right, like maybe she should stand in place, and not look at, and dare not touch anything.

Then there’s a part of her that presents itself, which begs her to act on her curiosities.

Luckily, the alcohol in her system was happy to be a little more impulsive than normal.

She wanders to his dresser first, eyeing the few things he had on top of it.  Her fingers slide across the smooth oak as she studies a framed photo.  It was a graduating class photo.  A small smile graced her lips at the sight of a familiar pair of sunglasses.  A young Shoko was also an amusing sight.

The sound of footsteps brought her back from her thoughts, and she quickly took a seat at the end of the bed.

Satoru strode in, glass of water in hand.

“Please try to drink all of this, okay?”

(y/n) simply nods, taking the glass, but she just stares down into it.  Gojo’s brows furrow.

“What, you need a lemon in it or something?”

“No,” She mumbles, before looking back at him.  “Satoru, I need to ask you something”

“No one ever likes hearing that, (y/n)” He chuckles.  But when he sticks his hands into his pockets, she takes it as her cue to go on.

“Why did you come?”

“To pick you up?” He asks.

He knows full well what she meant.

She nods her head in a small motion.

“I told you I was worried,” He answers.  “You should’ve heard yourself on the phone.  Pretty concerning stuff, (y/n/n).  Who knew you couldn’t hold your liquor”

Now (y/n) shakes her head.

“But why?”

Gojo shrugs, confused.  His lips purse and he doesn’t know what she expects him to say.

“Why?” He repeats, eyebrows forming a knot.  “Why was I worried?”

“Yeah,” (y/n’s) voice is as small as that of a child who’d just awoken from a nightmare.  “I mean, I was with Ieiri,” She adds.  “I would’ve been fine, it’s not like I was in any trouble”

“Well, it didn’t sound like it,” He sighs, and crouches down in front of her, so he could be at eye level with her as he spoke.  “After you called and then hung up on me, I reached out to her to try to figure out where you were and what was going on”

“You did?”

He nods, and hesitates a moment, before ultimately saying fuck it and continuing.

“Truth be told, she wasn’t much help either.  I think my two best girls had it out for me a little tonight, hm?”

His hand reaches out, taking a loose strand of her hair and carefully placing it behind her ear.  (y/n) hopes she’s not blushing, but she knows it’s a lost cause.  Satoru’s fingers linger near her jaw for a moment before he drops his hand.

“Is that why you were upset earlier?” He asks.  “You wanted to go with Ieiri? You were upset with me for coming?”

She stares into the dark glass that covers his eyes, getting lost in her own reflection as her drunken thoughts swirl around in her mind in a tornado of infatuation and fear.  She’s scared that if she opens her mouth too hastily, the wrong thing will come spilling out, and she’ll scare him off like a wild animal that didn’t know any better than to run.

And while it was difficult to navigate her thoughts at the moment, she knew that scaring him off was the last thing that she would ever want.

She reaches out to him this time.  She’s unsure if she’d be able to touch him, unsure if he would have put his infinity up as soon as he’d pulled his hand away from her just moments ago.

But to her surprise, she’s able to carefully take holds of his sunglasses.  She pauses, as if in shock, or maybe it was just her nerves, before she slowly begins to slide them off his face.  She was certain he would have told her to stop, or swat her hands away.  But again, tonight he was full of surprises, as he just sat there, and let her take them off.

As she folds them up and sets them on the mattress beside her, she’s careful not to dirty the lenses.

She gives herself just a few seconds to admire his eyes, before she finally answers him.

“No,”

Her voice is barely a whisper.  Satoru’s lucky he’s close enough to hear her.

“I was upset because…” (y/n’s) confidence was dwindling with every second that passed with his eyes on her like this.  

It was like she could see every bit of concern, and confusion, swirling within the pools of his irises.  It made her heart beat erratically in her chest.  It made her fingers curl into the edge of the mattress, gripping tightly to it like it were a lifeline.  It made her breaths short and every second longer than the last.

She was so hopelessly in love with him that sometimes it felt like she couldn’t even function.

“I’m drunk,” She sighs.

Gojo nods, dropping his gaze for a moment, defeated, certain that she was going to say forget it and bid him goodnight.  His eyes land on her hands, gripped around the edge of his mattress like a vice.  Her knuckles were white, and he thought she might even be trembling a bit.  He makes a mental note to grab her an extra blanket.

“And I hate everything,” She continues, instantly bringing his attention back to her.  Her eyes flicker between his, and her lips hesitate to say what she’s been dying to get off her chest for quite some time.  With a shaky breath, she mentally counts to three, and then whispers, “Everything except for you”

He’s frozen for a moment, staring at her with eyes so ablaze she could almost forget they were blue.  The corner of his lips tug ever so slightly upwards, and a sense of relief relaxes his tense muscles.

“I think that might be the most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me, sweetheart,” He says.

His words are teasing, but his tone is as genuine as his smile.

He stands.

“Would you like me to tuck you in?” He asked, lifting the blanket next to her.

“Stay” She says, taking the blanket from him and pulling it back further, before sliding into the open space.

“What?” He asked, having heard her clearly.

“Stay,” (y/n) says again.  “With me”

He starts to shake his head, because it doesn’t exactly feel right.  She was drunk, she might not know what she’s saying, right?

But she pats the space next to her and gives him a small smile, and he thinks that she knows she’s making his heart melt.

“(y/n)-”

“Please?” She asks softly.  “Just till I fall asleep?”

He lets out a sigh, before nodding his head faintly.

(y/n) grins, and he quickly shoves her abandoned glass of water in her face.

“Take a few big drinks of this first,” He demands, which she quickly obliges to.  He almost laughs at how quickly she chugs half the glass down.  “Alright, alright, don’t choke” He chuckles, taking the cup back and setting it on his nightstand.

(y/n) shuffled under the covers before laying down.  She couldn’t contain the moan that came out upon laying her head on the most feathery pillow she’s ever felt.

Gojo looked over at her, with a brow raised and a wide smirk.

“This is the most comfortable pillow ever,” She breathed out.  “What is this, feathers?”

“I have no idea,” Satoru chuckles with amusement before sitting down on the bed.  “I’m glad you like it”

While he settles under the blanket, and tries his best to pretend like this was normal and they’d done this a thousand times before, (y/n) rolls onto her stomach to press her face into the feathery goodness.  She inhales deeply, taking in the clean smell of freshly washed sheets that always scratched the right itch in her mind.

Satoru admires her while she’s not paying attention to him.  Every one of his self-preserving instincts are telling him he needs to go- that she should be alone for the night and staying here with her couldn’t possibly be good.  It would make him look vulnerable if he stayed.

But then (y/n) rolls onto her back, her eyes catching his in the process, and he lays down, resting his head on his pillow.

It is pretty comfy.

“Okay if I turn the lights off now?” He asked.

(y/n) hums an affirmative tune, and Gojo doesn't even have to sit up to reach the lamp on the bedside table, tugging the little string and submerging them in darkness.

It’s silent for a moment, and he assumes that she also thinks that the dark added another layer of intimacy that neither one of them planned on for the evening.

After a minute or so, (y/n) shuffles around under tha blankets, rolling onto her side and facing him.  He turns his head to find her looking at him.  Even in the dark he can faintly make out the soft features of her face.

“Thank you, Satoru,” She says softly.  “I… I hate sleeping alone”

He nods back at her, before mirroring her position.  He hooks an arm under his pillow to get more comfortable before speaking.

“Anytime” He hums.

“That so?” She responds, raising an eyebrow curiously.

“Yeah,” He shrugs a shoulder.  “Might take a while to get your apartment fixed up.  If you need somewhere to crash for a while… you could stay here a bit longer”

(y/n’s) heart does a little backflip in her chest, or at least it feels like it.  She added ‘hospitality’ to her mental checklist of things that made him more attractive to her.

“Yeah, well, I dunno.  Appreciate it though,” She mumbles.  Her finger absentmindedly drew patterns on the sheets.  “I’ve kinda been a shitty guest so far, huh?”

“You?” He muses, and then shakes his head.  “You could never”

(y/n) lets out a humorless laugh.

“This isn’t exactly what I had in mind for seeing your place for the first time” She says, and she regrets it almost as soon as it leaves her mouth.

“Oh?” Satoru chimes.  “And what did you have in mind sweetheart? Less clothes perhaps? Hm, or perhaps more rose petals, a bit of wine-?”

“Yeah yeah laugh it up Satoru,” (y/n) rolls her eyes.  “That’s not what I meant”

“You maybe meant it a little like that though” He teases.

(y/n) shakes her head, looking up at the ceiling as if it were going to tell her how to handle this idiotically charming man.

“I would’ve liked it to be on better terms” She admits.

Satoru turns off the act, but his smile remains as he continues to pry her into opening up more.

“Well, what did you have in mind, then?” He asks.

“I don’t know,” (y/n) shrugs.  “Realistically it probably would’ve been you begging me to come help you with the paperwork you procrastinate so much on,” She muses, her imagination beginning to roll it’s film.  “But… a movie might have been nice.  Or drinks, or something”

Her thoughts get away from her for a bit as she imagines Satoru inviting her to his place, how he would have answered the door and ushered her in, taking her coat, showing her around his place.  He’d probably be over the top with his enthusiasm, but she would have found it charming like she always does.

“Sounds like a date” He hums.

Slowly, her gaze wanders from the ceiling to where he’s laying, still on his side, still studying her as though he were trying to complete a puzzle in the dark.

She laughs softly to herself.

He thinks it’s the cutest thing he’s ever heard.

“I don’t think you’re capable of such a thing,” She murmurs.  “That’s why I’m here now, like this” Her hand gestures vaguely in the air.

“Like this?” He repeats, hoping for clarity once again.

(y/n) hesitates, anxiety attacking her mind and her fondness-warmed heart.

“Don’t you think if we were to do such a ludicrous thing as a date, we would have done it by now?” She asks him.  “I don’t think that the Gojo Satoru can be tamed by just any one woman, after all” She adds with another short laugh, hoping to lighten the mood and clear her own anxieties.

He laughs with her, and she’s relieved that she didn’t upset him, but she can’t deny that her heart sinks a little in her chest.

His tongue darts out to wet his suddenly dry lips before he ignores his need to keep up a barrier with everyone he knows, and shuffles a little bit more towards her.  Her eyes noticeably widen as he does this, which he enjoys more than he should have.

“You’re not just any woman, sweetheart,” He murmurs.  

He’s close enough to her now that she can faintly feel his warm breath against her nose and lips.  Her heart can barely keep up with the gymnastics it was doing.

“But you’re right, I suppose, I don’t think I can be tamed either.  But I’d happily let you prove me wrong, any day.  Or, well, night”

It must be the alcohol, but she swore her entire body felt like someone had poured gasoline over her and dropped a match.

“You can’t do that” Her lips trembled.

“Can’t do what?”

“You can’t-” She takes in a short breath of air she didn’t realize she needed.  “You can’t just say things like that”

He chuckles, humored greatly by her nervous display.

“Why’s that?” He asks, his smirk only widening as he catches her gaze darting down towards his mouth, before meeting his eyes again.

A knot forms between (y/n’s) brows.

“Because tomorrow I’m going to wake up and you won’t be here, and tomorrow I’ll go home like none of this ever happened.  As if the whole point of going out tonight wasn’t to forget you, only for you to show up anyways and remind me of all the reasons why I should be forgetting you in the first place.  And then we’ll go back to work and you’ll continue to mess with me by flirting with me and I don’t know what to do anymore because- because it’s not funny anymore Satoru I’m actually-”

She stops herself before she could admit she actually was in love with him.  But it didn’t matter anyhow, because she’d already admitted enough to make him question her.

“You went out drinking to forget me?” He asks.

“No” She lies.

“That’s what you just said”

“No I didn’t”

“Yes… you did.  You said the whole point of going out tonight was to forget me,”

(y/n) doesn’t say anything.  It’s not like denying it was working, he’d obviously heard her, and even if she was a good liar, he was an even better lie detector.

“You got drunk to forget that you… you have feelings for me? Romantic feelings? You feel romantically about me?”

She stays silent.  It seems like the safest option at the moment.  She’d ruled out lying, and running away wasn’t exactly an option either.  Maybe she could pretend to fall asleep?

“(y/n),” His hand reaches out, resting on top of hers, halting her erratic doodling on the sheets.  “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“What was I supposed to say?” She whispers, a small, sad smile on her face.  “That I fell for the whole stupid act and couldn’t get over it?”

Gojo shakes his head.

“Sweetheart, what act?” He asks.  “I’ve been flirting with you since- well, since we met, I’m pretty sure down to the day.  It wasn’t some act, sweetheart.  Every compliment or innuendo or invitation, all of it, I meant all of it,”

(y/n) blinks, her lips parted as she tried to process what he was saying.  Her mind wasn’t as fuzzy as it was an hour and a half ago, but with all of the new information, she was having trouble processing all of it.

“You think I never meant it when I told you how beautiful you are? Or perfect? Or brilliant? Or strong? You thought I was just messing with you?”

“Satoru…” (y/n) shakes her head, the gears in her mind all jammed up by his words.

“Sweetheart, tell me, why in the world do you think I would drop everything in a heartbeat to come pick your drunk mopey ass from the shittiest bar in town? And do you really think I’m so terrible at getting my paperwork done that I need your help and only your help with it every week?” He chuckles to himself.  “Sweetheart, have a little more faith in me”

Her throat burns hot, and she realizes then that she’s been fighting the urge to let her eyes water.

“What are you-” Her words are almost whimpered, and she pauses to catch her breath before speaking again.  “What are you saying then, you’ve h-had feelings for me this whole time?”

His lips curl into a smile, and he takes his hand off of hers, so that he can reach closer, and lay his palm against her jaw, fingers brushing gently against her cheekbone.

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m saying,” He murmurs, his eyes following his index finger as he draws small shapes into her skin.  “So… do you still want to forget about me?”

Her quivering lips curl into a smile, and a tear slips from her eye.

“It didn’t work anyways,” She says in a hushed whisper.  “I ended up calling you anyways, didn’t I?” She reminds him.  Her tear slides against his thumb, and he hurriedly brushes it away.  “I fear forgetting you isn’t going to work”

“Good,” He says, grinning ear to ear.  “So that means I can invite you to my place for drinks? Or to do my paperwork for me?”

“A date?” She hums.

He nods his head.

“Okay”

“Okay?”

“Okay,” She says again, smiling so wide it hurts.  “Yeah, okay, I’ll do that”

He’s smiling back at her, his thumb stroking gently back and forth against her cheek.  Her poor heart was about to combust.

She leans in closer to him, her nose brushing into his, prodding softly as she closes her eyes, letting all of her other senses take him in.  The warmth that bled from his hand against her jaw.  The way he smells like pine, and fruit.

Just as she’s about to close the distance, he beats her to it.

His lips slide over hers with ease, as though he’s kissed her infinite times before now.

She melts almost instantly, kissing him back as softly as she could, trying to contain the overwhelming sense of urgency inside of her.

Satoru drops his hand from her cheek, and it briefly rests on her shoulder before sliding to her hip, so that he can pull her in closer to him.  

Her lips, her body, they feel pleasantly warm against him in a way he’d never felt before.  

When she parts from him, her forehead resting against his as she tries to quietly catch her breath.  A small chuckle escapes him as he brings his hand back to her face, cupping her cheek and leaning back just enough that he can get a proper look at her.

“Sweetheart,” He hums.  “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that”

Her smile tells him she knows just how long it was.

He steals another kiss from her, and he tries to be quick, but he just can’t help but hold his breath a little longer, for just a few seconds more of her soft lips against his.

“Satoru,” She murmurs against his lips when they part again.  “I’m in love with you”

“I’m in love with you too, sweetheart,” He replies, punctuated with another kiss.  “Stay the week with me” He requests, before kissing her again.

“The whole week?” She hums in between another.

“Mhm” Is all he’s able to respond with, his mouth far too occupied to carry a conversation.  (y/n) giggles until he leans back.

“And you don’t think people will notice when I show up to work with you at the same time every day?” She muses.

“Let them notice” He sighs, prodding his nose against hers as his lips search for hers once more.  

“And our students?”

This time she steals a small kiss.

“You don’t think they’ll be happy for me?” He murmurs, and she giggles again.

“I think your students might tease you a bit” She suggests.

Gojo shakes his head, grinning at her.

“They’re just jealous,” He affirms.  “Because I’ve got the prettiest, dopest girl in the whole school”

She laughs louder, bursts of bubbling giggles filling the room as she shakes her head at his ridiculousness.  But as silly as it was, her cheeks were warm with a flattered blush.

“We can talk about you staying tomorrow,” Satoru tells her, tucking her hair behind her ear.  “Why don’t you get some rest tonight, and I’ll make you a nice breakfast to cure your hangover tomorrow, and we’ll talk about it then, hm?”

She sits there for a minute, smiling at him, at his sweet smile and pretty eyes.  Her heart has never felt more full than it was right now, and she thinks maybe this is the first time she’s ever truly loved someone.  She could sit here for hours and stare at him.  Unbeknownst to her, he was thinking the same thing.

“Sounds like a plan” She murmurs.

“Alright then,” Satoru has to bite on his cheek to keep himself from grinning like a madman.  “Get some beauty sleep.  I’ll be here when you wake up”

He rolls onto his back, sliding his arm around her shoulders to keep her close to him as he lets his eyes fall shut.

He can’t quite hear, but he can feel her lips move softly against his neck as she mumbles something he can only perceive as a bid goodnight.  With a smile on his face, he runs a hand through her hair, carefully untangling it with ease.  He only has to lean forward a little bit to press his lips to the crown of her head.

“Goodnight, sweetheart” He murmurs back to her, followed by another, softer kiss.

[ i’ve got my mind on you ] ___

a/n: squealed and kicked my feet thru most of writing this btw :3

[aniimoni]

Hello, have you gushed over your hcs of miserable Narinder somewhere yet? Because.. do you mind doing it again? I think I am intrigued

First off, anon, thank you very much for asking this. Second, it’s more precisely an AU, but a hc works too!

Keep in mind this is a very recent idea for me, so I only have the gist of it.

That being said, you have opened pandora’s box:

This AU starts off with Lamb meeting TOWW (Narinder) while they are very much opposites. Lamb yearns for community and a simple pleasant life, TOWW is still a power hungry god and pretty much hell bent on revenge. However, they both see the common ground they have: the Bishops and their feelings towards them. Lamb hesitantly agrees to start the cult in his name, they find Narinder’s idea of revenge slightly intriguing, but they do not really have a big picture in mind.

Lamb is the first to try and initiate some sort of community with Narinder, especially during the times that gaining new followers was very new to them. Narinder was a familiar face, and they very honestly felt some pity for him; not having been able to step outside for such a long time and all that. They would often die on purpose in order to pay a visit, hopefully start some kind of conversation.

At first, the frequent visits confused him very much and, at times, annoyed him. Getting his revenge was the only goal in his mind, and he wanted it quickly. BUT! I imagine (no, I KNOW) being isolated (even with Aym and Baal) for as long as Narinder was, he got very bored. So, after a couple visits, and some temptations, he began to feel more curious than inconvenienced. Lamb would often bring him things from the mortal world that they think would interest him, or that he should get to know. Eventually, some form of story time became a tradition. Lamb would come to his domain and tell him a story, wether it was an event that happened that day (gossip lol) or even a folk tale of some sort. It was, in a way, ridiculous to him. But he did find them “enriching” at times.

Over time, he grew very fond of Lamb and their visits. He found that it was his way of connecting with the world after such a long time, that’s what a vessel is for, after all. And, with the growing of the cult, they would describe to him how beautifully it was coming along. They would tell him about the gleaming orchards, luminescent nights, bountiful farms, delicious food, and gorgeous architecture. But what he found a lot of interest in was hearing about how the followers were also growing. He got to hear about cultists finding each other, getting to know one another, forming bonds, friendships, falling in love, getting married, forming lives together. Narinder got to hear about community, something he had been deprived of for such a long time. Eventually, the idea of getting revenge as soon as he was set free wasn’t the most intriguing idea anymore. He began to understand and know the feeling that the lamb described as no other than yearning. He yearned for gleaming orchards, the luminescent nights, the bountiful farms, the delicious food, and the gorgeous architecture. He yearned for community. But the horrid realization he had to come to terms with was the fact that he yearned to have this all with the lamb. He wanted to experience it all with no one other than the one who took it upon themselves to bring these ideas to him (the guy would daydream for fucks sake like oh my god get a grip you are in the trenches dude they’re gonna have to die for you to be fully free wth are you doing,, anyway). He yearned for this feeling to be returned, and it made him miserable.

Yes, the lamb enjoyed Narinder’s company- yes, they enjoyed the community the cult offered- but, they had had a growing change in perspective. The amount of control the crown offered was interesting. They could destroy the other gods, the problem, easily. With the power they had been given, they didn’t need to fear. There wasn’t a need to yearn when they could just get what they want at their own will. They began to see a much bigger picture.

The time for the final sacrifice grew nearer- BUT SURPRISE! Even with impending freedom, Narinder was more miserable than ever. He came to terms with the fact he wanted the lamb to be at his side, or well, he wanted to be at THEIR side. However, there was the dilemma of the final sacrifice that was needed. And who could ever want to be with someone who needed them to die? He had no clue what to do but stall, which could only last so long.

Reluctantly, he finally informed Lamb of what needed to be done, they refused (obviously dude). They fought. Neither could really understand what it was the other was fighting for. They couldn’t understand how 2 sides of the same coin could tumble from side to side so much.

Narinder was usurped. Lamb claimed victory. Both of them were in shock, because neither had REALLY imagined this. No one knew what to do next. The lamb expected at least some anger from Narinder’s part, some form of resistance, but they absolutely did not expect him to plead.

Even he couldn’t understand why he was on his knees, gripping at their cape. All he could really understand and know was the feeling, and it was more overwhelming now, more than ever. He yearned for a life. He pleaded for mercy, for a chance. And, the worst of it all, is that the lamb understood the tears in his eyes and the begging of his words, and Narinder the stoic expression on their face and the confusion in their silence.

Lamb allowed him to stay, but had no idea what to do with him. So, they locked him (not literally) in a hut; which he pretty willingly stayed in (in an effort to ease tensions). They try to avoid him as much as they can, but he keeps clinging onto the dreams they passed down to him.

Anyways yea that’s it lol, like i said pretty simple and vague as of right now 🫶🏼 some stuff might change idk

[gavisuntiedboot]

Off Limits

Ok so there was a rlly cute ask in my inbox that was about introducing Gavi to Ramadan or taking him to iftar but it's gone now!!! I literally cannot see it anymore. But dear anon who requested a Ramadan-inspired Gavi fic, this is for you!!! So reader is Arab/ Desi/ North African/ a similar culture.

~~~

"Pablo, as God is my witness, I will break up with you if you don't get away from me."

Was it harsh? A little. But it was the only way you could get your clingy partner to leave you alone. For the past hour, he continuously tried to hold your hands or cuddle you, and you had to push him away in a panic every time. Ramadan was finally upon you, and you could not be more excited. It was a month of great food and company, and jut general peace. It was a time for you to really embrace your culture: long dresses and dangly jewelry, coffee cups painted in gold calligraphy, and lanterns decorating every possible surface.

There were several traditions in your family that took place every Ramadan, a main one being that you and your female relatives would all go and get henna done on your arms and legs, your skin remaining tinted with elaborate patterns all month long. However, since moving to Barcelona (and moving in with your long-term boyfriend), this tradition has become harder and harder for you to maintain. This led to an Amazon overtight order of about 20 henna cones, and two hours of you bent over yourself trying to pipe out the tiniest of designs onto your hands and feet. It was unfortunately during this time that Gavi came home from training, plopping onto your couch as he tried to grab your hand, smudging one of the flowers you had gone cross-eyed drawing. After letting out a yell that probably scared the dogs in Madrid, you calmed enough to explain what you were doing and why he couldn't touch it.

"So it's like a tattoo? I don't really like tattoos ya know." He said, rolling over onto his side and pouting, touch starved and desperate to touch you. You continued drawing as you responded.

"Yeah but they're temporary. And they're brown instead of black. And tattoos are hot. You would look hot with tattoos Pablo."

This elicited a laugh from the boy, his eyes creasing and his teeth dazzling. He loved watching you focused on your sketches. Your teeth was between your lips, tension evident in your features. There was nothing that you did that wasn't entertaining to him. Gavi loved looking at you, studying you, catching every minor change in your expressions or body language and storing them deep in his memory.

Eyebrows scrunched in concentration, he tried to imagine what he would look like with a tattoo.

"Maybe Spanish men aren't meant to have tattoos, amor. We just don't look good in them."

"Pablo how can you say this when Ramos literally exists?"

"Your answer to everything cannot be 'It's hot because Sergio Ramos does it'!"

"Why not? Long hair? Hot on Ramos. Tattoos? Hot on Ramos. Being a father-"

"Please stop. I am begging."

You broke out into fits of giggles, the banter flowing naturally between the two of you. When you finally finished your hands, you beckoned Gavi over. Instructing him to place his arm in your lap, you began drawing on his tanned skin.

"Ay, what are you doing?"

"Proving you would look good with a tattoo. Sit still!! You're gonna make me mess up."

"But-"

"No buts. I had to redo half my hand because of you. And besides, you're always in long shirts, no one will see."

This silenced the whines from the boy looming over you as you bent closer to his arm. Despite a flinch every so often from the cool sensation on his skin, Pablo stayed perfectly still. He brought his free hand up to move the hair from your eyes, giving him a better view of your face.

"There. All done."

A loud laugh resonated throughout the room. On Gavi's forearm sat a small angry face with bushy eyebrows.

"Is that supposed to be me?"

"Yeah. I think it's pretty accurate."

Trying to pull you in, he reached for your arm and you pulled away in a hurry.

"Pablo my hands are still wet!! No touching!"

"Are your feet still wet, too?" You nodded, afraid of why he wanted this piece of information. He moved closer to you on the couch, clean arm wrapping around you, his head resting on your shoulder.

"That means you can't run away from me." He smiled, and placed a gentle kiss to your forehead. Cheeks heating up, you snuggled into his chest, hiding your embarrassment at the affection. You two stayed like this for a while, just watching TV and enjoying the shared body heat. Once your hands had dried, you went to peel off the top layer, revealing the stained pattern beneath it. After some lotion, you returned to Gavi, peeling off his design as well, the two of you once again in fits of laughter at the angry face on his arm. You settled back into him, and he looked down at you.

"Can I hold your hand now? Or are you off-limits until the end of Ramadan?"

You interlocked your hand with his, rubbing your thumb in soothing circles. Bringing your entwined hands up to his face, he admired your hard work.

"It looks gorgeous, mi amor. You did so well." He kissed the back of your hand, straight over the delicate patterns.

"Want to see something cool?" You asked. "Look in the center there. See if you can read anything."

He brought your hands up once again, refusing to release you from his grip for even a second. He looked through the swirls, until the found a dainty "PG6" hidden in the design. He wrapped his arms around you tightly, pulling you into his chest, and nuzzling against your neck.

"I can't believe you're all mine."

A/N - I literally was writing this as my henna was drying and then I tried to open a Barbican with wet henna and I stopped for a minute and was like wow this is the most Arab experience I'll ever have. Anyways, short and sweet, hope y'all enjoy.

[catwouthats]

“Why are you getting more and more confident about lokius??”

I was an ineffable bureaucracy shipper before it was canon.

I said “Hey look at the possible meaning behind Gabriel trying to smash a fly with the “commit adultery” Bible” and was fucking right

I am also a byler truther. (There is so much for this I’m not even gonna start)

I took a film class(es) and learned about cinematography, mise em scene, symbols and motifs!!

I used what I learned from film class (and from gender race and film class) to discover the key differences in queer coding and queer baiting. (Usually queer baiting involves more so how it is advertised and joked about. Queerness is not taken seriously and it is teased in queerbait.)

I am unofficially studying queer film rep from a sociological lens as society/viewers have changed (or is it economical since it has to do with money, supply and demand… but it also has to do with the viewers and believes?… what social science am I using-)!!

While it is definitely not 100% possible for lokius to be canon, it gets more and more possible with each episode in my eyes.

With all the symbols, parallel, cinematography, music choices, etc that go in to lokius… well it makes it harder and harder for them to deflect these meanings onto something else. (An example is how in Sherlock BBC they deflect a lot of the meanings in to “they are just partners in crime and that is ONLY reflecting that” and “it was just a joke”)

Not only that, as time goes on, less and less cinematography etc. is needed in order for a queer couple to become canon (or at least that kinda was true…). They don’t need as much build up because it is getting (or was getting) more and more accepted. More normalized, even if people didn’t “accept” it. Media does not have to code it/build up to it as much anymore. (This however is not as true for trans rep. Also, as more anti lgbt laws get/have gotten passed, we will start to see a sort of recession in lgbt rep, specifically trans rep. Very unfortunate imo, as a queer nonbinary individual.)

Considering Loki season 2 was made in 2021 (if I am correct), and written before hand, it probably will have some queerness somewhere as it was probably before many of the anti-lgbt laws.

In the least, I am confident lokius will be queer coded or “left up for interpretation” as there still is a s3 that will be coming way later. (It would suck if they pulled that though, yet it would not be super surprising.)

[stupidloafofbread]

Why didn't he listen?

If he had just listened, maybe he wouldn't have been in this situation.

Or maybe, they were right: he wasn't strong enough.

Helly was known by some of the broomstown residents as a few things: A child, that one rescue team helicopter or just annoying. He couldn't help but agree from time to time with those things. But now, he was just stuck with his own thoughts.

I should've listened.

He thought. There was a storm or a hurricane that was supposed to hit, he couldn't remember. He only remembered flying out of the station then helping someone before the wind had picked up and carried him away, before sending him crashing into a cavern (idk what it's actually called, stay with me here-) where he had hit his head on the way down, causing him to lose consciousness for a bit before waking up. He had tried calling someone for help, but there was no signal. He had to face the truth: He's stuck.

And to make matters worse, the cavern was slowly filling up with water. Helly couldn't fly out, for some reason?

"Huh?...Don't tell me my propeller is broken at a time like this!"

It was. Just great, he couldn't escape..

Meanwhile, at the rescue station..

"Has anyone heard from helly? It's been awhile.."

"Come to think of it, I don't think so?"

"I hope he's alright, considering how windy it is and all"

Were they concerned? Amber and Roy seem to be, but what about Jin? It was there that poli had decided something.

"I'm gonna go look for him."

"In this weather? No your not-"

"Jin. he could be hurt, or worse.."

Jin sighed. She figured he was right

"Still, I'm not risking any of you getting damaged or hurt. You're staying here poli."

"But-"

"Nope."

So she didn't care? That's not right. He'll just have to sneak out!

Meanwhile, things weren't looking good for Helly.

The water kept rising higher and higher. He tried to escape most of it by getting into a rock, but that too was slowly being taken over by water.

"I'm not gonna get out of this, am i?" And he was right.

Soon enough, the water got closer to his face (screen? Idfk). He tried to move back a bit more but slipped, causing him to fall into the rising water. He couldn't process what just happened fast enough, but once he realized the fact he was underwater, he desperately tried getting out of the water. But to no avail, he failed. Something was keeping him down, but what? Was it because of him being made out of heavy materials that's keeping him down? Or was it because of the force of the water pushing him down? He didn't have time to find out. It was getting harder to see.

Back at the rescue station, Poli did exactly what he said he'd do and went to try and find Helly. In order to find him, he had to sneak out. Which wasn't exactly that hard, as he had help from Amber who had snuck out before and decided to go with him.

After a while of running, they decided to split up: amber went to look in the fields while poli went out to the forest to look for helly. They both had no luck, so poli called for roy to help them. It took awhile, but eventually roy decided to search with poli. Two people are better than one after all.

Wish the same could be said for helly.

His sight was getting worse as it just got harder to breathe. he figured he was drowning, but couldn't do anything to stop it. It was like, his body had just shut down. He did have to admit, the water was freezing- but it also felt nice?

Eventually, his vision went pitch black. He also couldn't feel the cold water anymore.

Back with Roy and Poli, however..

One of them managed to find the cavern Helly was in, as his signal had finally popped up.

"Poli, I've found him! I think-"

"Wait where?"

In an instant, poli had showed up right next to roy, despite being nowhere near him moments before.

"Down in that cavern"

"And how exactly do we get down there?"

"We can swim, just jump down into the water-"

"Roy, you expect me to do what now."

"Just do it, for helly's sake-"

And with that, poli was pushed down into the cavern by Roy. He surprisingly didn't hit anything on the way down, but he did end up landing in the freezing water with a splash.

"Roy! What the hell was that for?!"

"To find helly, duh"

"You didn't have to push me-"

Before he could finish speaking, something shiny and gray poked out from the top of the water. Poli swam up next to it and tried pulling it up, only to find it was none other than helly. Exactly who he was trying to find! But..why wasn't he moving?

"Helly? Hey, wake up-"

"Did you find him?"

"Mhm! But, he isn't responsive.."

"I'll get amber just in case!"

"and just leave us here? oh and he's gone-"

After an hour or so, roy and amber had arrived. They managed to get both poli and helly out, (we won't ask how, shut up-). Amber had asked to look over helly to make sure he was okay, they both agreed. While amber was making sure he was alright, poli was just worried if he was even still alive.

"Hey guys?.."

"Yeah amber?"

"Huh? What's up?"

"I uh, think he's dead"

"What do you mean "you think"?!"

"..That explains the unresponsive part..Wait what."

"Roy, I meant- nevermind. All in all, he died by drowning"

"Oh- I thought he died due to the water being freezing-"

"How'd you know it's freezing?"

"I may or may not have pushed him into the water to see if helly was okay"

"Thanks for that by the way. Now I'm cold."

"I meant, it worked didn't it?-"

"Guys, this is no time for jokes. Helly is dead."

"Right. Someone has to tell Jin"

"I refuse to. Just call her here, she can find out herself."

"Minus the fact he's dead, what's got you so upset?"

"Jin didn't seem to care if he got hurt."

"Oh? Wait yeah, she didn't even let you go out earlier to try and find her-"

"So it's basically her fault?"

Poli couldn't deny that he felt as if it was her fault, but he also felt it was his fault for not going out sooner. After a bit of silence, amber had contacted Jin and told her to get to them asap. Once Jin arrived, she was shocked to say the least.

"I didn't expect him to die! I thought he could swim, all of you guys can!"

"But you have to remember, he is the youngest of us all"

"Was the youngest."

"...Still-"

After another hour of complete silence, they all went back to the rescue station. No one knew what happened to helly's body, it was either Jin had taken it to try and "repair" him or was dismantled. Regardless, Poli only blamed himself afterwards.

If only I had been quicker, maybe he wouldn't have drowned.

Was all he could think.

-------------

I DID IT!!

Sorta a oneshot, which was requested by @darkoplayzzz :3

God I'm tired from writing lmao

Never actually expected it to be that long tho

Oh and here, @aliceangel7891

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hi mbti-notes, thank you for replyimg to my previous question. I'm the person who asked you how to stand up for myself in the face of people humiliating me for how I look. After some reflectiom, I have some questions to ask with regards to this topic.

I showed a friend a picture of 12 year old me, when I was bullied. She was surprised and told me I seemed so carefree, cheerful, expressive and an exciting and fun person to have around. Never in a million years me or my 12 year old self would have imagined someone describing me with those terms. Altough I objectively agree with her assessment, as I didn't have any fear to be authentic and express my emotions back then, I was made to feel like the most unwanted piece of worthless dirt by my peer group, and that's what I believed my entire life.

Sometimes I would attract boys romantically, so I think it was because they were able to see what my friend saw recently. But I was still almost universally denigrated, so I am confused. I came to the realization that those kids (and these adults as of recently, but also people in general) wanted to control me through shaming. The question is why? Why do they want to control me? By putting me down and telling me I am not entitled to be respected because of my appearance (that's what a drunkhard middle aged man told me in front of a crowd of strangers) what do these people get out of it?

I realized those kids (some of them who are now adult males still attempted to do it after all these years) wanted to dim my light, but why? Anyway, I realized they succeeded. I became a shell of my former self. I completely lost that authenticity and spontaneity. It still exists within me but I am unable to bring it out anymore. I am very aloof, cold, emotionless, expressionless and rigid on the outside. That's what my friend tells me now. For a long time I've felt like I didn't have the “right to exist” or allowed to have human emotions, which brings me to the second question. How can I be authentic again? I forgot both how to do it and I am afraid of doing it. I realized my problem is cowardice. I know what if I dare to affirm my existence, “express myself” and claim my space in the world I would draw a lot of attention and a lot of enemies who would try to “put me in my place” again.

Truth to be told, deep inside I don't actually hate or dislike myself, I am just obeying the people who tell me I should to in order to keep peace and “belong”. But belong to what exactly? Nothing. This is not peace and this is not belonging, but I guess I instinctively make this reasoning to justify my cowardice. I avoid to do the activities I want in order not to be seen and shamed by people (for example, I think I am highly likely to be humiliated in environments such as nightclubs, so I avoid them, which makes me feel bad in turn because I am repressing myself and letting others dictate my actions and the way I live, and the thing I want the most is freedom to be myself and live however I want without fear of everybody's eyes on me).

I know that if I dare to be confident, self-assured and expect the the best out of things, people are gonna despise me and try their hardest to put me back in my place, so I hate myself to appease them, which makes no sense because I am despised both when I make myself small and make myself unimportant and when I act confident. I'm still paid dust when I put myself down for others' appeasement, yet I still do it. I don't know why. It must be mental laziness. I was raised to be passive and punished for advocating for myself so maybe I'm just sticking to an easy habit. People at large think “ugly people” deserve less, so it enrages them when they see someone breaking the social rules they abide to at their own detriment. That's the conclusion I reached. Am I missing something? How do I move from here? How do I find the courage to claim my place in the word and deal with conflit and opposition?

If this can help with your assessment, I also pondered an early childhood memory. I was in kindergarten and other children where organizing a “theatrical play”. I wanted the main character role. After fighting for it they gave it to me, but I was afraid of everybody looking at me and having their attention so I gave the role up to someome else. So I wanted the “main character” role and the attention but at the same time I was afraid of being the main character and getting the attention I desired. I don't know why exactly. I don't remember being shamed for my appearance back then (I didn't have the traits I would be later shamed on), but I remember feeling unseen and unwanted. Maybe it originated from an early memory in my life. I saw two little boys on a slide and I asked them if I could climb and play with them. They laughed at me and told me no, and I remember feeling rejected and shaken to the core by this.

About my other question, as I said, I used to be able to attract romance as an early teen. But after I “shut down” that hasn't happened ever since. I am no longer that person and right now I feel like I am incapable of attracting love. How can I attract love again in the current way that I am?

And lastly, I've never took care of my appearance (as in, dressing well), I would always wear the same 3 shirts and sweatpants because I thought it was useless for me to care about these things since I would get shamed anyway, but lately I've found that I want to start dressing well, do my hair, wear some accessories and a dress (feminine), so when I wore a good outfit my self-esteem instantly shot up, so I am worried about my self-esteem depending on what I wear. How do I prevent that from happening? Also, how do I know if I'm dressing well “for myself” or for social validation and as a cover up for low self-esteem? Because I don't want it to be for the latter reason, so how does one draw the line between these two aspects when it comes to this topic?

---------------------

If you are referencing a previous post, please provide the post number from the url. If I have to dig for it, it takes time away from writing a response.

1) Distorted Cognition: You are wasting a lot of mental energy being preoccupied with how other people react to you. Why? With your past experience, you've convinced yourself that everyone in the world is a (potential) threat, which is simply untrue. No matter where you go in the world, there are kind people and there are mean people, and a very small minority of violent people. Unfortunately, you have been unlucky to encounter a lot of mean people.

However, what you don't realize is that your mind is now primed to pick out and remember mean people the most, which makes you a bit blind to the kind people around you. Living in fear means that you are always on the lookout for threats, and then that's all you ever see. Start looking for something else, such as the kind people, and you may find that your perception of the world shifts. Once you start to notice kind people more, you will be in a better position to surround yourself with them, which would dramatically change your social life. But first you have to recognize that not everyone is out to hurt you.

People who have experienced trauma such as bullying are often prone to emotional reasoning. Emotional reasoning is unhealthy because it distorts your perceptions, beliefs, judgments, and decision making. If this is not something you can stop on your own, then it is a good idea to work with a therapist.

2) Lack of Boundaries: You waste mental energy ruminating on why mean people are mean. By doing this, you are essentially taking on other people's baggage as your own. The way you live should be decided through the power of individual choice, but by fixating on others, you cede this power to them. Is someone forcing you to do this? No. You are volunteering time and effort that could otherwise be spent on living your life authentically.

Why are mean people mean? Frankly, it is irrelevant. You are making their meanness matter (and thus making jerks matter), probably because your thinking is unrealistic due to unhealthy Ni. If you're anything like other immature Fs, you walk around thinking that everyone "should" be nice and affirming. If you didn't have such an underlying belief or desire or fantasy, then you wouldn't react so badly when reality proves you wrong. Rather, you'd simply accept the fact that some people are nice and some people aren't, and then adapt accordingly in the moment.

What you haven't understood is that it doesn't matter how beautiful you are, how awesome your personality is, how much success or glory you achieve in life, there are always going to be people who dislike or even hate you for their own personal reasons. When you learn how to truly respect people's right to have their own thoughts rather than expecting them to have the thoughts you want them to have, then you'll understand that their thoughts don't have to be yours. You'll finally realize that what other people think, say, or do is really none of your business, and then you'll be able to focus on what's most important, which is living your life as well as you can.

Do what is best for your well-being. Wear whatever clothes you want to express who you are. Explore the world and learn more about yourself. If people don't like it, that's their business, but does it have to be your business? Their thoughts don't have to matter at all. It's simply a choice you make about where to focus your attention. The world is constantly bombarding us with all kinds of things, but not all of it requires a reaction or response, does it? Developing mature Ni requires you to learn how to tune out everything that doesn't relate directly to your main purpose.

Review my previous reply. I already brought up boundaries. Until you learn to create a healthy boundary between yourself and others, you will keep getting overrun or violated by others. If drawing healthy boundaries is something you aren't able to learn on your own, then it is a good idea to work with a therapist. You can also take workshops in assertiveness, communication skills, and conflict resolution skills to help improve your social confidence. There are lots of ways to improve your situation, but how are you going to take advantage of those opportunities when all of your attention is misspent on trying to make sense of the jerks in the world?

[sillymaxing]

...hi again. I <3 this blog sm if you can't tell.

Do you think Tord would notice if Matt had a spell of like...self concious...trauma induced stuff, like he goes quiet and stuff. I hope that makes sense. :3

Note: I turned this into Tord being uncaring when he realizes (gaslights himself into believing) it isn’t his fault.

Matt is, in my opinion, the type to shut down, let it get bottled up, and then explode.

At first Tord notices Matt becoming silent. Normally this ginger fuckhead is ALWAYS YAPPING.

Matt also does work at a very very steady pace. Something that would raise suspicion in Tord’s mind is when Matt is finished with his workload early, and asking for more things to do.

Tord would give Matt more and more things to do.

Matt would stay up late getting things done. And after Matt hadn’t slept for 2 days, Tord would just lie and say there wasn’t anymore work to do.

But Matt gets angry at this??

“You’re gonna fall behind. Patryck has work to do still, and I should lighten his load.”

Tord decides to question Matt’s lack of sleep, to which Matt just brushes off and says he’s been taking naps so it’s fine.

“Maybe you should take a break, Matt. You’ve been working so hard, and I appreciate it. However, we need you to be your best self.”

“Oh? Am I not my best self? Who’s fault is that, Tord?”

Like a drama queen, he storms out.

Tord has Patryck talk to him. He knows the two are closer.

Patryck doesn’t have any luck, and decides it would be best to take a little more extreme measures.

So they lock him in his room with orders to rest.

That’s when Matt throws a fucking fit.

“SURE! LOCK ME UP LIKE ALL OF MY OTHER FRIENDS. YOU PIECE OF SHIT! YOU CREATED THE WORLD WE’RE LIVING IN NOW! This is all YOUR FAULT.”

He’s banging on the doors, screaming at the top of his lungs. Hands pulling at his hair, scratching at his metal jaw.

“Sir-“

Tord holds a hand up, silencing Patryck.

“Matt, where is this coming from?”

Tord sounds concerned, worried for his friend on the other side of the door.

“You made me- you made me organize the supply for- I’ve been- YOU FORCED ME TO!”

Matt’s breaths sound labored, voice cracking with anguish. Pat’s face seems to flush, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Tord. Everything clicks together.

Recently Pat had assigned Matt to track and certify certain shipments of medical supplies. One specific shipment contained items for Tom. It was obvious that Matt knew what they were for. And Matt was forced to approve the package, and bring it into the base, where he knew Tom would suffer.

Pat and Tord give each other a look, not knowing what exactly to do. They both wait on the other to do something. Pat is closer with Matt, but Tord knows more about his friendships and life.

“Im sorry, Matt. That was something I overlooked.”

In reality, it was in fact Matt’s job to do what Pat told him to. But he was also his friend, so it made situations like these complicated.

“I’m going to give you the next 3 days off. We’ll talk about this another time. But there’s nothing you can do about Tom right now. Just try to rest.”

Pat looks over at Tord in shock, wincing as Matt starts cussing them both out. He had expected Tord to be a bit softer.

“Pat. He’s your problem. I have things to do. He helped us get ahead of schedule, so fix this.”

[mryaksalot]

Important changes to my Backstory AU(OUTDATED)

TW: This post is going to be sorta long, so buckle up.

As you may know, there have been a lack of many new chapters to my story The Road To Success on AO3 these past several months. I've been trying my damn hardest to keep up with updates, but I don't always have the free time in order to write. I have to attend school, work a job, deal with family matters; those things take priority too. I don't have as much free time as I used to back in 2021.

That being said, I still hold a lot of passion for this story. I first got the idea for this story all the way back at the beginning of 2021. It started as just an insightful thought, a drabble I created inside my head. Overtime, I kept expanding on the idea, fleshing out the world, making this story the best it could possibly be. Now we're at the point where the story is over 120,000 words, and it's not even half of the way done yet! I never anticipated for this story to be this long, but here we are.

Now if you are thinking that this post is about me throwing The Road To Success in the can, I just want to clarify that this story IS NOT being cancelled. But the way the story is written and formatted is going to change from what you have seen up to this point.

Just so I am transperent with you guys, here is a list of all of the changes to The Road To Success, as well as the Backstory AU as a whole.

1. The main story, The Road To Success, will be significantly shorter than the original version. The OG version, the version that I have stuck to while initially writing this story, was planned to have 40-50 chapters. That is just not possible anymore, with how busy my life has become. This new version of the story will now have roughly 30-35 chapters. As of writing this, the exact number of chapters has not been decided yet; that will be determined by the end of the year (at the latest).

2. The new version of TRTS (Acronym for The Road To Success) will be more Yakko-centric. I originally wanted to insert a bunch of extra sideplots into the main story, specifically after the Warners become actors. Wakko and Dot were supposed to have their own friend groups, and we would get the chance to see their perspectives as well as Yakko's. However, these sideplots take away from the main story, which is overall more important in the longterm. That dosen't mean Wakko and Dot won't be given any time in the spotlight (they are gonna play some significant roles later on), but I don't want their misadventures to take too much time away from the main storyline.

3. Some of the lore (the details on how the world works in this universe, how certain characters act, family trees etc.) have been and are subject to being changed and altered. I'm very much a perfectionist when it comes to the little details; they're very important imo. Sometimes, I will change my mind about a certain detail and decide to change it on a whim. I will try to restrain these changes to the lore based on what I have already written/talked about publicly, in order to not create too much confusion going foward.

4. The Backstory AU will be expanded beyond The Road To Success. That's right, folks! TRTS is getting a companion story, in order to fill in those lore gaps to answer questions that have yet to be answered. This story will focus on the parents of the Warners, covering their childhood, as well as their inevitable downfall as members of society. More details regarding this companion Peice will be elaborated on in a later post. I'm also cooking up a Christmas story, which will serve as somewhat of a flashback to previous events in TRTS. This story will come out on (you guessed it) Christmas of this year.

5. So you may be wondering to yourself: What's gonna happen to the scrapped segments of TRTS? Well that's where my drabble collection comes in. A month ago, I created a drabble collection titled Splats Of Ink, a collection of oneshots featuring headcanons, future story ideas, and now scrapped segments of already established stories. I'm thinking about fleshing out these Alternate scenes of TRTS, to show you what could have been. Expect the first of these scrapped-segment-reimagined drabbles to come out this April.

So, that's a decent laundry list of all the updates that I have made to the Backstory AU as of late. Chapter 15 is in the works as we speak, and will most likely come out sometime in March. Then it will be smooth sailing into Chapter 16 and so on! There's lots of exciting things in the works, and I can't wait to share it all with you.

Thanks to everyone who took the time to read through the whole thing. Feel free to ask questions if you need me to elaborate further on these changes. Your patience and support is most appreciated.

[terraliensvent]

guys i think civ isnt satan (edit: they lied)

EDIT: please see this post, civ played everyone like a fiddle and blatantly lied about having nothing to do with the pet species deletion. keeping this og post up to show how dedicated they were to painting their narrative

so, a few screenshots relating to their bulletin were given to me (you can see my initial thoughts here)

now as with all breaking news there are revisions to be made with new info

(all screens can be found in this imgur gallery, may be out of order because imgur is dummy stupid)

so it turns out, civ and coy actually werent contacted prior to the decision. i do agree this could have been handled differently and there should have been more of a discussion around it, HOWEVER im more inclined to the side of current terra staff. for one, they came to the decision of one adopt every two months for each staff member as compensation for their work on the team. their reasoning for cutting down coy and civ's amounts is to be fair to everyone especially considering coy and civ arent actively working on the species anymore. i dont necessarily agree with the decision to cut customs though, since people have to actively seek them out for that and its more akin to a comm service. i also want to note that i can understand why terra staff wouldnt want to negotiate about the number of adopts with civ and coy, considering that this is how it went last time

you can see in the imgur screens the original terms, notably that civ and coy collectively were allowed to make 12 adopts a month. i can see how it would be seen as unfair to not be able to be compensated as much as the people who left the place to die.

throughout the screens it seems civ is being a lot more reasonable, i think more discussion should have been had with them and after introspecting, it probably wasnt right for them to be banned, however, i dont see why they couldnt just be unbanned. i think that theyre getting lumped in with coy severely here and truthfully that isnt fair to them. i dont know how i would go about the downgrade from 6 to 2, but what i do know is they were being pretty polite about it

coy on the other hand...

throughout the screens they just seem to keep throwing salt into the wound, working through loopholes and being petty just for the sake of it. their behavior i would argue is still deplorable, and their unwillingness to work constructively is probably the reason why they and civ werent included in the discussion. ive gone over coy a million times before, these screens just keep hammering the point home

besides that, there are a couple other things to note:

Tycho's lack of presence

Tycho (furthermore referred to as cal) diverting the discussion to others is something that has happened before, and can be a point of criticism against him, but honestly my personal opinion is that shit happens sometimes. cal has very valid reasons to want to pull away from the discussion, especially with the myo compensation event he seems to be giving his best despite the situation. i am willing to give cal a lot of leeway when it comes to being stressed because we have seen the work that he and his team are putting in. i mean ffs we already have new pet species concepts not even a day after the old ones were removed. hes got a lot on his plate, and coys un-reasonability and demanding things be done NOW would drive anyone crazy even if they werent already dealing with species AND irl responsibilities. you could argue that cal shouldnt be in a place of ownership if he cant take the heat which is a valid criticism, however i think that hes a fine owner, good even, its just that these situations keep popping up one after another and he just cant keep up. these arent things that normal species owners deal with

"disgusting"

so regarding these screens (because i know some civ/coy whiteknights are gonna try and use it to excuse all their actions)

listen, was it the most professional way to respond? no. but also: (assuming it was cal who said these) i would argue this is a totally valid argument. granted, probably not to be directed at civ, but still valid. if i was dealing with the same continued problems from people who arent supposed to even be a part of the project anymore, i would have blown my lid way worse. this comment isnt even that egregious to me, its just that civ and coy have created such an echo chamber that any criticism is seen as sacrilege, and given cal's previously mentioned stressors its completely understandable for him to react harshly when they have to deal with coy drilling up his ass and being petty for no reason

civ's final words

the screens speak for themselves here. i do think there are some things to be criticized relating to civs bulletin (particularly comments painting them as this poor sad puppy dog tossed in the rain) but ultimately they are not as much of a villain in this as coy is. best course of action honestly is to just leave them alone, they were pretty professional in the screens and just seem to want to be done with it

final verdict? coy is an ass. civ kind of isnt. it could have been done differently but i really understand why it wasnt. cal needs a break. new mods are still doing good in my eyes.

and terravent fans eat good tonight

[sukimas]

witch from mercury spoilers

-i hope they're saving some of those tomato seeds. miorine would be sad if she had to start from scratch with new cultivars

-it is really nice that everyone's accepting earth house's help now, though. they finally get that recognition they needed. i hope the goat's ok though

-there is one (1) sympathetic adult in this damn show

-"if control of the fronts were lost, a massive loss of human life would occur at the very least." does this mean what i think it means. please let it mean what i think it means

-congratulations to everyone who predicted lauda of all people would get schwarzette! now: why the hell is it got purple permet stickers

-delling is STILL in the Fridge For Men despite miorine's continued mental breakdown. petra's also there now

-now, granted, miorine absolutely deserves that mental breakdown. i did basically predict that what she did wrt trying to free suletta was playing right into prospera's hands; if she had instead informed someone in power about QZ we would not be in this situation right now.

-if the control of the fronts thing from earlier is true, and with the destruction of the SAL fleet, it might just be that prospera wants to create a world where ONLY ericht can live in happiness. mom of the century (only half ironic this time)

-GUNDAM CALIBAN! or, well, calibarn, per subs. really nice that it's in keeping with the play by being considered a "demon", since it has no protection from the data storm whatsoever. congrats suletta for being invincible with the power of love. (well, probably not invincible yet, that wouldn't be dramatic and in keeping with the tempest. but she will be!)

-where IS miorine? i don't remember all the fronts in this anime, but she's not at the school or plant quetta, i don't think. there's just a normal benerit front out there, right? they say that she's in sector L4, so she should be about 60 degrees of the earth's orbit away from the moon. i don't think we know where that would be relative to the school, though that of course has to be at another Lagrange point (unless it's spending one billion dollars on staying stable in order to remain easy to access; it wouldn't be able to stay in low earth orbit alone thanks to being approximately city-sized, though. i think; i'm not an orbital dynamics person)

-interesting move from peil. let's see how that works out for them. i wonder if we'll see a sixth elan; wouldn't make much sense to just toss pharact out on its ear without destroying it in some way, it looks too cool.

-quiet zero is waaaaay out at the L2 point, on the far side of the moon. same as side 3 in UC gundam. rookie mistake by gundam governments: you gotta watch the far side of the moon or else. there's dudes with plans there. interestingly, though, L2 is an unstable equilibrium, so you'd have to transport fuel there to keep QZ from falling out of orbit even if nobody is there. of course, that's basically the only option, since all the other Lagrange points are visible from earth and at least L4 is already occupied by hostile parties.

-speaking of quiet zero: "hey i want to end war so nobody has to suffer from it anymore" -delling "sweet that sounds like a great idea. let's make something that definitely could not be used to take over the world by force and cause untold destruction to do it" -prospera "sure that's awesome" -delling

-i hope that didn't wipe out the WHOLE SAL army, though. that would be anticlimactic.

in conclusion: the payoff for these two seasons of buildup is starting to go off and i am quite excited. however, seeing as there are three episodes left, there is NO way the earth problems are getting resolved in a satisfying way unless literally all life on the planet is wiped out which i don't think wfm wants to do. i am a bit concerned for how the miorine reunion is gonna go (she is holding a green tomato in the end card, after all- now she's the one with some growing to do) but i figure they can work it out. i trust them.

[emma23]

Miguel(boss) x Y/n

« Look at me when I’m talking to you. » Miguel spoke with an intimidating tone, grabbing your chin harshly. « You’re fired. Get out of my damn restaurant!! » He finally yelled, taking his fingers off your chin while pointing at the door. Miguel has his restaurant, 5 stars, and is visited by the riches of the rich. You were hired as a chef by him. However, he ended up regretting it all over again.

« Puta madre, you’re testing me. » He chuckled exaggeratedly, covering his mouth.

You can’t move. Your fired, you don’t have a job anymore. How are you am gonna paid the bill !

The restaurant owner took notice of you not leaving. « Listen here, pendeja. Just because I fired you doesn’t mean you get to stay in my expensive establishment. The door is behind you. » Miguel’s tone went from angry to just straight up annoyed, rolling his eyes while crossing his arms.

You do the only thing you can think know, you beg. « Please ! please dont fired me ! I-I need this job ! »

« I already did you pathetic little brat. I’m not gonna change my mind just because you’re whining. If I have to say it one more time, I will call the police on you! » The famous chef rolled his eyes whilst turning away from you, crossing his arms again while going to the kitchen area. He began washing plates.

« I Will do anything !! »

Miguel laughed, but then stopped, looking at you curiously yet still annoyed. « Anything? What exactly are you offering to do? » He raised an eyebrow.

« Everything » You look at the floor to shy to look at his eyes.

Miguel thought for a moment. He knew what he wanted. « Fine. I want you to come to my house after closing hours. » He turned back to you, looking you dead in the eye. « You understand? »

« O-ok » you go rapidly.

Miguel looked at his clock and noticed it was closing hours. « You better not be late! » He spoke in a more demanding tone whilst looking you once more in the eye.

**later when your in front of Miguel house**

Your so scared but you find the courage to knock at his door.

Miguel opened the door a few moments later and looked at you impatiently. « Where were you?! I’ve been waiting for you. »

« Sorry » you look at the floor.

He huffed. « Come inside. It’s damn cold out there. » Miguel sighed and opened the door in it’s entirety for you to enter.

You just follow him.

Miguel closed the door once you had entered and started walking into the living area. « Go sit down in the sofa. » He ordered you, making it seem like your only choice was to listen.

You don’t want problem so you just listen.

Miguel went to the kitchen and started preparing something to eat, which you assumed was for both of you. He came back a few minutes later with two plates. « Eat. » He handed you one and took a seat at the dining area.

You surprise but still you listen to him.

« Once we’re done eating, I want you to show your true self and do exactly what I ask you to do. » Miguel began eating and stared at you, waiting for you to take a bite too.

You try to take a bit of the food.

The food Miguel had prepared was some kind of beef soup with vegetables and some herbs as a garnish. It looked appetizing as he kept eating, still waiting for you to taste the dish. As he chewed, he looked at you curiously.

« This why you make me come to your house ? » you ask.

Miguel sighed and pointed at you with his spoon, nodding at you. « Exactly. » He spoke whilst putting his cutlery to the side and looking you dead in the eye. « I want you to show off your real self. »

« I don’t get it » your kind of lost.

Miguel didn’t want to be more direct with you. « I want you to do something to me. »

« what ? »

Miguel smiled, but then put on a more menacing face, pointing at you once more with his spoon. « You know exactly what I want, you dimwit. The more you keep stalling, the angrier you’re going to make me. »

« T-tell me what you want and-and i will do it »

Miguel took a deep breath before staring at you dead in the eye, putting the spoon to the side again. « Fine. You can start by showing me how flexible your body is. »

« How flexible ? My body is ? »

He sighed. He really didn’t expect you to be such a prude. « Bend over. » Miguel commanded, with an annoyed tone.

You bend over even if your ultra shy but you need your job back.

Miguel smirked, looking at you now whilst placing the plate on the table and beginning to stand up with the chair. He put the chair away. « Very good. How did that feel? » He looked at you with interest. It seems that Miguel’s demands are getting bigger. He was starting to feel the power he had over you.

« It-it feel wrong »

Miguel didn’t get your comment, and didn’t have the patience to let you elaborate since he was already impatient. « Wrong? » He put his hands on his hips, trying to understand what you meant.

« I-I don’t like it but-but i will still do it»

Miguel was satisfied by your response. « Good girl. » Miguel got close to you, bending down a bit. « Tell me how much of a naughty girl you are. Don’t be shy. »

« I m-i m a naughty girl » you sob.

«  Louder! And look at me in the eye whilst you do it. » The boss ordered you, putting his head next to yours.

« I M A NAUGHTY GIRL » This time you look at his eyes. In your they tears of shame.

Miguel was satisfied with your response, noticing your eyes were filled with tears and your lips were trembling. « Say it once more. » He smiled, liking the outcome he was getting.

« I M A NAUGHTY GIRL !! »

Miguel began laughing, smiling at you with a smirk once he stopped. « Good job! I knew you’d be an obedient girl. » Miguel stood up straight and looked at you. « Now then, I want you to sit on my lap. » He ordered, pointing at his lap with his extended arm.

You listen and sit on his lap.

Miguel put his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him. He looked at you closely and smiled. « What’s your name again, cutie? » He asked you with a smirk.

« Y/n… »

Well, Y/n, your boss is quite satisfied. » Miguel smiled, looking at you seductively. « Come on. Give your boss a kiss, I know you want to. » Miguel had a playful tone, winking at you.

You hesitate but still do it. You give him a chaste one.

Miguel seemed satisfied when you finally gave in. « That’s my good girl. » He let go of your waist. « I think I’ll want to keep you around, so don’t even think of getting fired again or else I’ll do much worse to you. » Miguel warned you, with a more serious tone and look.

« So-so i can keep my job ? »

« Indeed, my dear. I appreciate what you did for me tonight. » Miguel looked at you with a smirk. « Now, why don’t you head back to your house? I still have work to do and some customers who are going to arrive later. »

« O-ok » you start to go ashamed of yourself but with you job back.

Miguel looked at you once you started walking. He smiled and chuckled, satisfied by what he had achieved with you. « I’ve got a feeling she’s gonna become my favorite worker. » Miguel mumbled to himself as he looked at the closed door.

[leopardom]

i've been listening to everybody's waiting and best year of my life on loop since they got released last midnight and oh boy the feeling i get from both songs is quite heavy but also... liberating??

why heavy? well, last year was anything but the best year of my life. it pretty much started with me realising (with some help) that i had fallen in love and, long story short, i got my heart broken very badly. at the same time, my mental health was deteriorating and as a result i started closing up and also lost one of the closest people to me. we're in good terms now, but never talked about what happened and we drifted apart like that. and it's been almost a year ever since

while losing that close connection with my friend proved to be helpful, the road to accepting this along with other things was very painful and i had to mask any negative feeling i had in order to keep functioning somehow and not make the rest of the people close to me uncomfortable. and i also had to focus on my thesis in order to finally get my bachelor's. and i did. but along with the new lows i had reached mentally, i reached and passed the point of burnout

my close ones were supporting me through my rants and i'll always be gratefull for that. but at the same time they still were telling me how good it would be when i'd be done with uni and how i would be able to get a proper job and make my own money and maybe do a master's etc. they all were waiting for something, they were waiting for more than i was already doing. they had been waiting for more than 3 years actually, but last year i was a lot closer to the goal and the pressure grew a lot bigger. and all the support i had was coming from a distance, i was still all by myself most of the time

from April til the beginning of July i was breaking down on a very regular basis, the panic attacks also became more frequent and my mental health was at the very bottom. and i couldn't even go to therapy anymore because i didn't have any time or energy for that. in the span of three months i had changed so much both physically and mentally that it made my head hurt and i couldn't process it

all i wanted was a hug from someone and to be told that i'll be okay. i didn't want everyone to tell me how things will be as soon as i graduate and how free i will feel yada yada. i only wanted a fucking hug, which i never got

after defending my thesis and graduating i blacked out completely. i can't remember myself feeling anything for the next couple of months. i only had a brief break when i went to Helsinki in September, attended all three of the jo finnish gigs and got to spend time with my friends in Finland. and when i got back from that trip i blacked out again. now i have a job and i make some money, but mentally i haven't recovered from the burnout and the high pressure. and people are still expecting things from me, from my students to my family to my friends to myself

lately, however, i kind of have started feeling again. my feelings are not usually nice and i cry a lot, but now there are days when i think that maybe things will get better with time and maybe i'll get there. a few months ago i didn't want to do anything at all and i was acting like a robot. now i want to do things, i'm trying as much as i can to do things that give me a serotonin boost so i won't have to rely only on my meds

to conclude, i still haven't gotten that hug i wanted so bad all these months ago. i'm not gonna lie, i still want it. but these two songs feel like that hug now. everybody's waiting is telling me that i'm not alone in this, there are people like me out there and we manage one way or another. best year of my life is telling me that i may have been and still am a mess, but you never know. maybe something different and even better is yet to come. and i have to be here to see it

[z1mmie]

Just finished Wednesday and I have so many thoughts--especially about our love interest boys--so I'm just gonna blab them all here:

(Spoilers!!)

I guess I'll just start with how frustrating I find xavier's character. Not from a writing standpoint--his charactization works perfectly for a teenage boy with a crush--but just how unable he was to understand Wednesday. That girl never said she was gonna be his friend and he KNEW she suspected him of being the monster

But he does NOTHING to change her mind!!!

I mean, correct me if I'm misremembering but all he did was get pissy and butthurt when she accused him and didn't give her any evidence to the contrary. She's only known you for what--a month? Maybe? How is she supposed to know what you're capable of??!

He just cant see stuff from her pov and it drives me crazy.

And now on top our actual monster tyler!

I got spoiled for this before I watched the whole show but I...am still hesitant to think that hes a full bad guy in this situation. The whole master-pawn situation leaves a lot of wiggle room when it comes to actual blame. And I wanna say that tyler is entirely faultless and never wanted to commit those murders.

Now the biggest evidence to the contrary is what he told Wednesday in the police station, but as someone else already pointed out--we don't know to what extent the master has control. Watching the scene closely I almost feel like theres a moment afterward where he snaps back after--like he was *ordered* to say that so Wednesday would lose faith in him.

However I have trouble coming up with *why* laurel would want him to do this. The only thing I can think of that she gains is that she prevents Wednesday from trying to split their connection or reach out to tyler specifically.

(As an aside I genuinely think that he liked her and that she liked him--i saw chemistry there! (tho I'd understand if he lost feelings considering she tortured him))

I just want to know more about the hyde situation and how it works in general and I'm hoping we will learn more considering one of the ending scenes in the finale.

Considering its direct connection to mental health, a further explanation could go really really poorly. We dont need anymore vilifying of bipolar disorder or traumatic stress, which is why I'm more inclined to believing that tyler is innocent of intention (relatively speaking).

But overall I really liked the show! I know theres been a lot of complaints about the Addams family portrayal and how it's not accurate and i can't say much on that since I never watched the originals. However, new adaptations will always have changes and as someone looking at this with almost no prior knowledge (I've watched the Addams family broadway musical) I think it achieved what it wanted to do. Wednesday was a fascinating protagonist, the story was interesting, and they introduced us to a new world that they can now further expand in s2. No complaints.

(I am hoping for more mooning for Wednesday tho because I think it's very amusing when she shows almost no interest in return (excluding tyler))

(I just wrote more in the last half hour for a damn tumblr post then I did for the 3 project I have due before Monday >w<)