#humans amirite??? crazy

[moriaarts]

Continuing with the theme; my favourite obscure transformers ship FireBolt (Skyfire/Silverbolt)

Think big science nerd marries tired bird mom

[isitsafetodrinktherainwater32]

the download's over... evil face

[meayefet]

Here's another thing I feel like we need to talk about regarding the current war between Israel and Hamas. Minor as it may be, I've been losing my mind over this.

As a person who grew up in the early 2010s, I grew up mostly on the internet and fandom culture, and have written quite a lot of fanficition in my early teens.

Something I've realized this past week is that people are seeing Palestine as a fandom. And not only does it belittle the actual problem, it dehumanizes Palestinians and Israelis alike and allows the rewriting of facts and truths as if it were an AU fanfic.

After realizing that I jokingly told a friend that I wouldn't be surprised to see RPF about the events of October 7th. I had in mind something like slash fiction of Hamas members, but today I found out people are writing fanfiction about A HOSTAGE AND HER CAPTOR.

I also found out it didn't happen in a vaccum - apparently tiktok is exploding with this stuff, saying Maya Regev - the hostage in question - had "left her heart in Gaza", because she smiled and said "shukran, bye" to her captors.

In case you have forgotten - Maya Regev was SHOT IN THE LEG AND TAKEN HOSTAGE INTO GAZA along with her brother, who was released FOUR DAYS AFTER HER. She was released with a shattered leg and without her brother - but if she smiled, her captors must have treated her so well, amirite? (Even though there are already plenty of horror stories from Hamas captivity, and children came back pale and whispering with their heads full of lice.)

Even in the early 2010s there was a debate whether RPF is legit or not (and at 26 I can safely say it's a no from me), but in this case it's even worse. These are not public figures we are talking about. This isn't One Direction or The Beatles. The Hamas terrorists are, well, terrorists, and Maya Regev is a private person made public because she was TAKEN HOSTAGE INTO GAZA. Writing a FANFIC about actual people who were actually injured during October 7th is beyond sickening, and it's probably the most immoral thing you can do on social media for the Palestinian cause (and if you guys claim to be on the side of morality you might want to be consistent).

Another thing that's driving me crazy is the difference between Israelis and Non-Israelis who grew up on the same things at the same time. my friends and I learned a lot about justice, critical thinking, and the power of art and creativity on the internet. I met a lot of my online friends in socialist youth movements and rallies, and many of them later became my classmates in Bezalel - BECAUSE we applied what we had learned into our adult life.

Non Israelis who grew up on the same platforms as I did who took part in the same fandoms, read the same fanfiction works, learned the same truths of social justice and the power of art- are now viewing the conflict as a fandom. You're either a fan or you're wrong - there is no middle. No room for critical thinking, for "Palestinians have every right to self-determination and an independent state BUT Hamas who actively prevents them said rights has comitted crimes against humanity on 7.10 and must be held accountable", or for "the occupation must end BUT the Jewish people are indigenous to the region" - there is only room for "by all means" and "from the river to the sea". It doesn't matter if they don't know which river and what sea - because if the conflict is a fandom, then they can write an AU to deal with every truth that doesn't settle with their narrative, and rewrite reality to fit their next fanfic.

[kaixserzz]

Loyal Knight 2

ੈ♡˳ Il Dottore x Gn!Reader *ೃ༄

ੈ♡˳ 8.0k words ┊ Fluff + Angst/comfort *ೃ༄

ੈ♡˳ Masterlist | Part 1 *ೃ༄

author's note ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

HI GUYS PART 2!! i accidentally posted part 1 when i haven't finished this LMAOO but it's been like a week since i started this fic SO i just wrote it in one goso :3 no beta this time so i can make my beta reader cry like a bitch, realized that reader is kinda like, maybe yandere? idk they're both obsessed with each other anyways LMAO,, also pls dottore rqs <3... WHY DID IS THIS LONGER THAN I EXPCTED NOOOOOO FUCK!!

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ cw: canon typical violence, basic dottore warnings, injuries, blood, mentions of lots of scars, experiments, and death, dottore and reader r both crazy, obsessiveness/possessiveness from both parties, dottore hits reader ONCE dw it's just to snap reader out of their shit, uhh relationship fights? LMAO idk cant have a relationship w/o errors amirite, cyro vision reader, dark humor cuz... dottore, also kinda suggestive at the end?? nothing happened, just... biting cuz its dottore LMAOO

iv. guilt

Zandik paid little heed to the Archons, celestial beings overseeing Teyvat, and the so-called 'blessings' they bestowed. His interest lay solely in their power, particularly the enigmatic artifact known as the 'Gnosis'. Apart from that, little else piqued his curiosity.

But Zandik held a particular disdain for your Vision above all others. The sight of your Vision alone was enough to sour Zandik's mood, and he preferred if you refrained from using it altogether.

It served as a constant reminder of the day he had made a grave mistake. It wasn't intentional, he hadn't meant for you to get hurt that bad. He hadn't expected it. It wasn't part of his calculations. It was his fault.

Your Vision, which you proudly wielded with joy, became a source of suffocating resentment and guilt for that day. Not that he'll admit that to you.

The sight of blood never bothered Zandik. Not one bit. Acquiring blood samples, blood dripping down his skin from his injuries, and the knowledge of blood pumping throughout his body. Yet when you lay in his arms that day, blood uncontrollably poured from the gash on your side, he couldn't help but feel a sense of dizziness wash over him.

During a routine exploration in one of the ruins you discovered, a dormant Ruin Guard unexpectedly activated and set its sights on Zandik. Despite your years of experience in combat, a ruin guard was still tiered above your capabilities.

But deep down, Zandik couldn't shake off the suspicion that the gods had shown favoritism towards you. In a miraculous turn of events, he was suddenly propelled away from the Ruin Guard's line of sight, shielded by a frigid burst of ice. The Archons had bestowed upon you the power of the Cryo Vision, recognizing your unwavering determination to protect Zandik.

With Zandik's swift actions and your valiant efforts to distract the Ruin Guard, it was eventually deactivated. However, you didn't emerge from the encounter unscathed. The new ability granted to you by your Vision proved to be uncontrollable, you had no idea how to utilize it just yet. The Ruin Guard easily overpowered you, tossing you aside as if you were nothing more than a lifeless ragdoll.

And the moment Zandik ran towards your body, barely breathing with blood soaking your clothes, he knew that he hated your Vision more than anything.

Your body was deathly cold, and Zandik couldn't tell if it was due to your Vision, or if you were already dead.

Amidst the days you spent in slumber, Zandik dedicated himself to your care. His once meticulously organized scrolls and project documentation were discarded and replaced by books on human biology, medicine, and recovery. His focus shifted to gathering various herbs and medical supplies to aid in your healing process.

Your wound was above his medical knowledge, but Zandik adamantly refused to hand you over to those who could provide immediate help. He understood the consequences you both would face if your activities were discovered. Nonetheless, he took it upon himself to do everything he could to aid in your recovery and ensure your well-being.

Zandik couldn't comprehend his own reaction to your injury. He believed it should be trivial for someone as resilient as you. If you were awake, you would scoff at the wound and dismiss it with laughter. But his emotions betrayed him, tightening his chest and filling his mind with doubts. Could he truly heal you? Would you recover completely? When did he start doubting his own abilities? After all, he was a genius, capable of restoring you to your previous state of health. Yet, the uncertainty persisted, tormenting his thoughts and weighing heavily on his heart.

His usual composed demeanor shattered in the presence of your injured form. The sight of you so vulnerable and still, coupled with the weight of his own uncertainty, caused his hands to tremble uncontrollably. Each time he whispered your name, his voice carried a mixture of fear and longing, hoping for any sign of response from you. Countless sleepless nights were spent tirelessly monitoring your vital signs, studying medical techniques, and seeking ways to aid in your recovery. The touch of his fingertips against your skin evoked a cascade of emotions within him, causing his bottom lip to quiver and his eyes to burn with unshed tears. The intensity of his feelings threatened to choke his breath, leaving him grappling with a vulnerability he had never anticipated.

In those moments when Zandik tended to your wounds, his heart clenched with a mixture of concern and fear. The touch of your cold skin sent a shiver down his spine, stirring an unsettling realization within him. Despite his intellect and knowledge, he couldn't help but question if you were still among the living. The fear that you might slip away from him haunted his thoughts, yet he couldn't bring himself to voice this deep-seated worry. Instead, he masked it with a determined focus on finding ways to restore warmth and vitality to your body, desperate to dispel the icy touch that threatened to consume you.

The surge of unfamiliar emotions within Zandik puzzled him. He had never experienced such feelings before, and it unsettled him. This vulnerability, this concern for another's well-being, was entirely new territory for him. It was a revelation that challenged his perception of himself. Zandik realized that he was capable of caring deeply for someone— you, despite his initial reluctance to acknowledge it.

Perhaps the cold has comforted you into a peaceful slumber, but it only reminded him how awful it was to feel your body so cold in comparison to his warmth.

"Hey,"

Your voice brought Zandik back to reality, and his gaze was drawn to your shirtless figure. It had been a month since the incident and a few weeks since you woke up. Standing before a mirror, you examined the new scar that adorned your body. The intensity of his stare was palpable, fixated not only on the scar but also on the Vision hanging from your waist, below the prominent mark.

"If it grosses you out that much, just tell me. No need to stare at it," You jest with faux annoyance in your tone, yet it was only met with silence from him. It was odd for Zandik to act so out of character ever since you've woken up.

The dorm was in disarray, with unwashed dishes, scattered books, and trash strewn about. You reluctantly remarked that you weren't looking forward to cleaning all of it, but to your surprise, Zandik took it upon himself to clean the mess. You expressed your gratitude and told him he didn't have to do it, considering how he had been taking care of you've since you woken up.

But he just told you to lay back on your bed and rest. To not even think about going outside your shared dorm, or lay a single finger on your sword. You were going to rest, and his words were final. Well, you weren't going to argue with that (his cooking was pretty bad though, it almost sent you back into a comatose).

Seeing how unsettled he was when you first opened your eyes, constantly checking on you and ensuring your wound was clean, you knew he was genuinely concerned. It touched your heart to see his care, and you couldn't bear to see him so down.

You took in a deep, confident breath, walked towards him, and smacked his head with your hand. Zandik let out an outraged cry, his glare that you missed so much was immediately on your smiling face. "Now now, don't be so down! I'm okay now!" Taking your sword out of its scabbard, you did a few swings and didn't feel any sort of pain at all. "You brought me back in perfect condition all thanks to your hard work and medicinal expertise! Sure, I may have gotten a scar, and I'm pretty sure you hate my Vision too,"

You blew a gust of cold wind onto his face, covering it with a thin sheet of snow. Zandik was quick to wipe it off, about to yell at you, but was cut off when you let out a lively laugh; one that he missed hearing once more in all those days you were asleep, and put a hand on his shoulder. "Instead of thinking about what happened in the ruins, just think of me! When you get cold, or see ice and snow, just think of me, and how I'll use my vision to protect you!"

Zandik silently wished you obtained the Pyro Vision instead. Then at least, it would've had warmth. The warmth that you had lacked during the days you were asleep, and the warmth that radiated from you whenever you smiled at him.

But you were content with your Cyro Vision, and so he should be too.

With a huff, he pushed your hand off his shoulder. Zandik's voice dripped with cold disdain as he uttered, "Don't be foolish. My actions were solely driven by self-interest. You're nothing more than a valuable asset to me, and I ensured your survival for my own benefit." However, a fleeting glimpse of genuine concern flashed in his eyes, betraying the facade of indifference he desperately clung to.

Your grin only widened, laughing wholeheartedly as you watched him escape, too embarrassed to stay in the same vicinity as you. "There's my Zandik." And you release a breath of relief.

The icy tendrils of his past failure and guilt were momentarily overtaken by memories of you. The sound of your laughter as you pelted him with a massive snowball, your smile when you playfully blow cool air onto his way when he complains it was too hot, and the deadly sheets of ice you conjured to aid in battle.

Somehow, the tingles he felt from your frosted fingertips were better than any warmth fire could bring.

v. realization

But the bitter chill also served as a constant reminder of the emptiness that consumed him when you weren't by his side.

A year had passed since the last he saw you.

Il Dottore remained in the dark about your whereabouts and current status. In the past, whenever you embarked on a mission, you would often find excuses to report back to him, just to have the opportunity to hear his voice, even from miles away. But now, the silence was deafening, and the absence of your updates gnawed at his heart.

You couldn't have died; Dottore was well aware of your immense strength. You were capable of battling on equal footing with Teyvat's mightiest individual, Il Capitano. Moreover, Dottore had made several modifications to your body, ensuring that death would be the least of your concerns. The notion of an enemy overpowering or eliminating you was simply inconceivable. Therefore, the only logical conclusion Dottore could come up with was that you willingly chose to depart from his side.

Il Dottore was well aware that you had left him. Your absence was palpable in the emptiness of your room, void of your presence, devoid of your clothing and your sword. It resembled the stark emptiness you met when you first arrived and were assigned your chamber within the Fatui. The tracker that you've willing injected into your skin was left on your desk, covered in dried blood.

Yes. You decided to leave him. The person who has promised to stay by his side no matter what, even if it meant venturing into the darkest recesses of the Abyss. The one who professed love for him, and whose gentle caresses would convey nothing but adoration in their eyes. You had promised nothing but loyalty, and he believed, trusted you because he knew it was genuine. You had always been truthful and obedient, never desiring to cause him any displeasure.

So why, pray tell, did you have the audacity to leave him after spending an entire century with him? Was it all in vain? Why did you choose to squander such a substantial amount of his time? Did every word that spilled out of your impudent mouth held no true meaning?

You were the one who sought him out. You willingly became an integral part of his life, unwaveringly remaining by his side and causing him both joy and turmoil. You've forcefully intertwined your life with his, so it should be his choice to leave, not yours! That's unfair of you to him.

You, claiming to be his loyal knight until your final moments, turned out to be nothing more than a falsehood. It is only now that Dottore realizes the absurdity of such a belief. You deceived him with your lies. Every promise you made was built upon a foundation of deceit. Why did you choose to betray him? Just why?

Why why why why why!?

It was unbearably cool in his personal office. The biting cold seemed to pierce through his skin, despite his body being engineered to no longer perceive temperature sensations. And yet when he walks toward his laboratory, watching the earliest versions of his segments doing their work without you in sight— he could feel his skin crawl and burn as if he was frostbitten. The sight of endless snow outside only added to the chilling atmosphere, intensifying his feelings since your departure.

"Instead of thinking about what happened in the ruins, just think of me! When you get cold, or see ice and snow, just think of me, and how I'll use my vision to protect you!"

The cold indeed reminded him of you, and in the depths of his despair, Dottore yearned for nothing than to watch his surroundings ablaze just to escape the icy pain that clawed his heart.

Dottore longs for the ability to erase your memory from his mind, desiring to rid himself of the emotions that you have stirred within him. These emotions, which he finds to be a hinderance, have tied his stomach into knots and inflicted a pain in his heart that only your absence could evoke.

Yet, deep down, Dottore couldn't shake the feeling that you wouldn't be able to stay away from him for long. Just like him, you had spent a significant portion of your lives together. You 'loved' him, after all. He was the center of your world.

Therefore, it didn't come as a surprise to Dottore when he found you standing in his chambers once again, your presence both familiar and fazing. You stood there with an air of patience, positioned by the edge of his untouched bed, as if you had been waiting for him all along.

Dottore observed you silently, noting the somber expression that etched your face, your lips pressed into a thin line. Your eyes, once vibrant with a spark, now seemed dull and devoid of their usual radiance. You kept your stare fixed on the ground, avoiding direct eye contact with him, a clear sign of guilt. A quick glance was enough for him to discern the toll your year-long disappearance had taken on you. Your hair appeared disheveled, evidence of neglect, and the presence of bags under your eyes spoke of sleepless nights. Moreover, he observed that you appeared noticeably thinner, as if the weight of your absence had physically worn you down.

As Dottore's gaze lingered upon you, he noticed a subtle tremble in the hand that rested atop the hilt of your sword. It was a nervous gesture, as if you were apprehensive about confronting him, despite having returned to the Fatui for his sake. Cold sweat trickled down your nose, evidence of the tension that filled the air. He observed as you anxiously chewed on your bottom lip, a sign of inner turmoil and unease.

Dottore scowled at your unexpected intrusion, his features contorting with displeasure. Crossing his arms, he assumed a facade of nonchalance, choosing to channel his simmering anger rather than acknowledge the concern he secretly harbored. "Well, well, look who decided to grace me with their presence again," Dottore sneered, his voice dripping with disdain. With an air of authority, he strode purposefully towards you, his steps brimming with an unspoken power. "It seems you've reappeared, after vanishing without so much as a word."

His words seemed to cause you to crumble further, evident by the way you gritted your teeth in discomfort. It took multiple attempts before you could finally open your mouth to speak, your voice strained. "Dottore, I... I didn't mean to cause you any pain. I had my reasons for leaving," you managed to say, your grip tightening on the hilt of your sword.

He recognized it as a telltale sign of your extreme unease, a habit you developed when confronted with uncomfortable situations. The realization he still remembers small habits of yours only fueled his anger, and he shot you a withering glare in response.

Dottore scoffed dismissively, rolling his eyes in a display of derision. "How bold of you to assume that your disappearance caused any pain. You were merely an inconsequential cog in the machinery of the Fatui, and your little stunt only added more irrelevant work to my already burdened table," He retorted, his tone laced with sarcasm.

The sting of his words caused you to wince, feeling the weight of his disdain. "I'm sure you had your reasons," He continued, with a roll of his eyes. "Reasons to be such an inconvenience."

"I thought... I thought it was for the best..." You whisper to yourself, but Dottore heard it loud and clear. A momentary pause ensued as he processed the ridiculousness of your admission.

Dottore's voice grew colder as he responded, his words laced with anger and hurt. "Best for whom, may I ask? Certainly not for me," He retorted sharply. "You think you can just waltz back into my life after all this time and expect everything to be as it was? Well, I assure you, it won't be."

Finally, you summoned the strength to straighten yourself, meeting Dottore's gaze with determination in your eyes. Your hands clenched into fists, revealing the intensity of your emotions. Softly, with the deepest sincerity resonating in your voice, you spoke from the depths of your heart. "No, I don't expect things to be as they were. But I... I miss you, Dottore. I miss being by your side, even if it means facing your anger."

Though, it invoked the opposite reaction you had hoped for.

Even if Dottore had begun to wear a mask, his glare pierces through the material, sending shivers down your spine. Sensing the growing intensity of his anger, you instinctively took a step back. His anger now seemed more potent than anything you had witnessed from him in the past years, intensifying the tension in the room.

"How. Dare. You." With each word, a sharp blade pierced your heart. "How dare you say that after leaving without a word? After spouting promise after promise that you'll always stay by my side?"

You swallowed down the heavy guilt as you looked away from him once more. It was getting harder not to cry in front of him.

"How dare you lie to me?" The words you once spoke, filled with promises and loyalty, were now exposed as empty falsities. The realization of being deceived gnawed at his core, deepening the resentment within him. "Making me believe your worthless vows and wasting my time? I knew you were up to no good from the moment you decided to become my 'friend'," A sarcastic laugh escaped his lips, dripping with scorn. "You liar."

As Dottore turned away from you, ready to leave, panic surged within you. Desperate to salvage the situation, you reached out towards him, "W-wait, Dottore, please! I can explain!"

"What is there to explain?" His voice carried a bitter edge, gaze hardening as he looked back at you. "Clearly, there is nothing more to clarify with your obvious betrayal." His mind had already made up its verdict, leaving little room for further explanation or justification in his eyes.

"Please, Zandik—"

"Zandik is dead!"

In a sudden burst of anger and frustration, Dottore slammed his fist against the wall, catching you off guard and silencing you instantly. The force behind his action was both startling and alarming, as Dottore had never directed such aggression towards you before. His usual demeanor consisted of light annoyance or a gentle scolding whenever you were about to make a stupid decision.

But this display was different—it spoke volumes about the depth of his hurt and anger. It was clear that he was more wounded than he was willing to admit, and the ache in your own heart mirrored his pain.

"Zandik is no more," He faced you again, this time, with his chin up. A condescending gaze set upon your anxious form, as if you were nothing but one of the mere hundreds of the Fatui soldiers that serve under his name. "There is only Il Dottore, the 2nd of the Fatui Harbingers. You are to speak with me with nothing but respect." He spat. "Do you understand?"

You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Throughout your life, you had served Dottore faithfully, dedicating yourself to his cause. While he had spoken to you with a similar tone in the past, this instance felt markedly different. The force of his words seemed to carry the weight of his power, suffocating and overwhelming.

It was as if the pedestal on which you had placed him had crumbled, revealing a darker side that left you shaken to your core. A side that Dottore would've never shown you if hadn't acted rashly. At that moment, you couldn't help but empathize with the countless soldiers who had felt the brunt of his authority.

"My command over you is absolute," Dottore declared with unwavering finality, his scowl revealing the sharp edges of his teeth. "You are to leave and never return. Now." His words hung in the air like an unbreakable decree, leaving no room for negotiation or reconsideration. The power he held over you was palpable, an undeniable reminder of the hierarchy that governed your relationship.

You stood there, dumbfounded, managing with the shock of his words. It took a moment for the reality of the situation to sink in, leaving you suspended in a state of disbelief. The weight of his decision bore down on you, leaving you breathless and overwhelmed.

His hand reached for the handle of his door, "I am giving you a chance. Do not put it to waste. Leave, before the Tsaritsa herself bestow you her punishment for your betrayal."

A sudden loud thump from behind Dottore made him pause, his attention shifting to the source of the sound. He could hear your shaky breaths and faint sniffles, struggling to form the words that clung at the back of your throat.

Dottore's instinct urged him to turn away, to escape the burden of your words and the sight of your wretched state. Every fiber of his being resisted the pull to stay and listen, to confront the emotions that threatened to entangle him further. Yet, there was a flicker of hesitation within him, a battle raging in his mind between the desire to leave and the nagging curiosity that lingered. A fleeting moment of uncertainty held him in place, suspended between the need to continue with his work and the possibility of facing the depths of your anguish.

It could be more of your lies, Dottore argued to himself. He refused to be a fool once more toward you. And yet...

"I'm so sorry Dottore... I.... I-I just felt so alone..." You started, attempting to quell your tears and wiping them off with your hands. "Ever since we joined the Fatui, you've barely had the time for yourself... Sure, we're now to the point that we don't have to eat, or sleep but... It was always work— since when did we last spend time together?"

The notion of necessity echoed in his mind, provoking questions that had long been suppressed. How could this sudden discontentment emerge after a century of unwavering dedication? You had been instrumental in carrying out his missions, assisting in his projects, and even co-creating the segments alongside him. When did it all begin to matter? Dottore hardened his gaze onto the door before him, refusing to face you.

"If you were lonely, you could've spoken to the segments instead. You know how busy I am."

You let out a small, weak, humorless laugh. "Yeah, well, they're not complete, remember?"

Dottore frowned at that, "What do you mean?"

"You removed their memories of me because... Well, you said that I was distracting..." You reminded him, a sad smile on your face. "I took it as a compliment back then. Even if I tried to talk to them... They'll just ignore me and look at me as if I'm a stranger... Funny because you do the same thing..."

Ah, yes. He did do that. Right, it was the main reason why the segments were so efficient with their work. It made him realize how much you were a hindrance to his progress. A distraction that causes him to feel unwanted emotions and urges, indulging in senseless activities like you once had when you were both younger...

It annoyed him how it seemed his make his heart clench at those memories.

"I'm not suited to be your knight anymore, not when I have little use for you now." That made him turn his head to look at you, only to see you on your knees, trembling and holding back yourself from sobbing, to continue speaking before he stops listening. "I... The Fatui can give you everything you need now... You have soldiers working for you, even the segments! Sure, you send me into missions and tell me I'm still useful but..."

Your words hung into the air, your bottom lip quivered as you forced yourself to continue. "I couldn't even protect you from that." Your eyes glanced to the mask he wore, and he immediately knew what you were talking about.

His hand went underneath his mask, the feeling of the deep, jagged scars that has healed over time through his gloves disgusts him. The scar on his face was something he deeply abhorred, but he never blamed you for it.

"I promised to protect you, and yet... I let that happen..." Your voice quivered with a mix of despair and frustration, tears staining the cold tile floor beneath you.

The mention of his scar, a symbol of his vulnerability and pain, struck a chord within both of you. Your teeth clenched, and your gaze remained fixed on the floor, burning with a mixture of self-loathing and anguish. The raw honesty in your words reverberated through the room, casting shadows of doubt upon the promises that had once bound you together.

The mask he wore, the facade that shielded his true emotions, served as a constant reminder of your perceived shortcomings and the unfulfilled expectations you had placed upon yourself.

"What kind of knight am I? I know how much you hate that scar— and I hate the fact that I could've prevented it!" You cried, "I hate seeing your mask, because it just reminds me that I'm a failure that couldn't uphold their promises!"

...Just like the deep-rooted resentment Dottore harbored towards your Vision, you found yourself consumed by an equal loathing for his mask. It was a peculiar parallel, where two individuals were constantly reminded of their own failures in the presence of one another.

As the silence stretched on, punctuated only by your inconsolable sobs, Dottore's demeanor remained unreadable. His lips pressed into a thin line, his expression an enigmatic mask. The absence of any immediate reaction from him fueled your misery, increasing the uncertainty of his true feelings.

At that moment, you yearned for a glimmer of understanding, a sign that he cared or acknowledged your pain. But the void of his response deepened the ache within you, amplifying the sense of loneliness and despair.

"I love you, I really do! There's nothing in this world that could ever stop me from loving you." You professed loudly, hoping to reach him, "From our childhood, to the Akademiya and joining here at the Fatui, my heart has undoubtedly belonged to you! You think I did all of that for nothing?"

"And when you accepted my feelings, I was so happy!" You hung your head low, trying to talk through hiccups and sobs. You couldn't stop your tears even if you wanted to. "But I know that Zandik loved me more than Il Dottore ever has." The pain in your voice as you utter your words made Dottore's poise for a moment, "I don't even know if Il Dottore loves me..."

Your words struck him harder than he liked. It was an absurd statement. His past self? Loving you more than him? It doesn't make sense.

But as he watched you sob, he couldn't help but wonder if his feelings for you were genuine or merely a facade he had constructed to maintain control over you.

Did he truly love you, or was it just an illusion he had allowed himself to indulge to keep you in check? You were the one to confessed to him, and love is such a foreign concept to Dottore. The thought haunted him, unraveling the carefully constructed walls around his heart and exposing a raw and uncertain truth.

"The day Zandik died was I guess the day your love for me died." You managed a weak laugh. A laugh to shake away your pain, yet so sad and dull. Your laugh shouldn't sound like that. He hated it.

Was he the reason for it as well?

"I tried to move on because I knew you can... But I just couldn't..." You whispered, wrapping your arms tightly around yourself for comfort. Your voice trembled with emotion as you continued, "I can't stand being away from you, I can't bear not being able to hear your voice, to see you, to be with you." You look up at him with tearful eyes, broken and full of regret.

"Please... give me one more chance," You pleaded, your voice filled with desperation. The tears streamed down your face, but determination shone through your eyes. "I won't complain anymore, I won't ask for anything... I'll accept you give me. I'll be your loyal and dedicated assistant, always by your side!"

In the midst of your cries, Dottore has stumbled upon a realization.

The cold, snow, and ice became incessant reminders of you, and it annoyed him to no end. As the days turned into months during your disappearance, his agitation grew, fueled by a mix of anger and longing that he couldn't quite suppress. He continued to send search parties after you, under the pretense of seeking revenge for your betrayal, but deep down, he knew there was more to it. Beneath the facade of vengeance, a part of him yearned for your return, unable to ignore the void you had left behind.

After all those times, did he simply miss you?

Even after you left, his hand would unconsciously reach out, longing for your presence beside him. Dottore found himself expecting to see you around every corner, only to be greeted by the stark emptiness of his laboratory, which he had never truly noticed until your absence. The flavors and aromas of the dishes you used to cook for him lingered in the air, teasing his senses with memories.

The familiar tunes you hummed while working echoed in his mind, and the pleasant chatter that once served as background noise now felt like a void in his ears.

Your absence had woven itself into the fabric of his daily life, leaving behind a profound emptiness that he struggled to fill.

He could vividly recall the echoes of those emotions from his time at the Akademiya when you were obligated to attend classes. Dottore— Zandik would insist that you not waste your time with mundane lectures when you could be assisting him in his groundbreaking projects.

He would nag you, trying to convince you to prioritize his work over your studies, much to your amusement. The memory of your laughter at his feeble excuses and playful banter warmed his heart, reminding him of the deep bond you shared.

Dottore's gaze remained fixed on your trembling figure, your hands tightly balled into fists. You couldn't bring yourself to meet his eyes. The fear of facing how he truly feels held you back.

Another realization was drawn to him.

He had always admired your resilience, your ability to endure even the harshest of circumstances without shedding a tear. It both intrigued and frustrated him, for he had never quite understood the source of your inner strength. As children, he had witnessed you gritting your teeth and smiling through injuries, embracing the pain as a catalyst for your determination. It was a quality that set you apart, that made you formidable.

Was this pain different then? There was no physical damage on your body, and yet you were here. You were one of the strongest people he has ever known, but you were on your knees, breaking down in tears and pathetically begging for his forgiveness.

His chest felt unbearable tight, seeing you so weak, so vulnerable. The image clashed with the image he had of you in his mind—strong, resilient, and always composed. Seeing you in such a state shattered his perception of your unwavering strength. Between the two of you, you were more emotional than him. But for you to grovel to his feet? It was something he'd never thought he'd ever see.

Oh, how easy for him to just kick you. To toss you on the ground as if you were nothing, and he knew you'd take it rather than fighting back and hurt him.

How come you'd never lay a hand on him? To make him feel the pain he knew a sinner like him deserves? When he has hurt you more than he could have ever known? You were suffering in silence since you only wanted to please him, to never bother him, and yet he was only ignorant to the signs, even if they're growing more and more obvious.

Your patience seemed endless when it came to him, doing everything you could do for him; exploring the most dangerous locations of Teyvat, piling bodies after bodies for his sake, and following every single command he gives you. Only for a mere hum of acknowledgement, a small smile, or nothing at all from him.

Has he shown any sort of gratitude toward you? You loved him so unconditionally, and you get little to none in return. Dottore couldn't even offer you the bare minimum.

You've always been like that, doing everything he says just to please him, to be of service, to be by his side. A massive flaw that he was well aware of ever since you were young.

Dottore wasn't even sure if the two of you were in a romantic relationship. It seemed so one-sided now that he looked back into his memories, even more so ever since the both of you joined the Fatui...

Forgiveness shouldn't be earned by a mere apology. You'd have to work for it, suffer the consequences of your misdemeanor, and he will grant you another chance. That's how it should be, how Dottore wanted it to be.

And yet, when you rose your head to look at him, nothing but remorse and resignation in your face... He couldn't bring himself to— not when he should be the one apologizing to you.

"You... you don't have to love me back..." You say quietly, snapping Dottore's attention back to you. "I-I promise... It was selfish of me to just walk out— punish me, I don't care! Just take me back, please—"

A resounding smack reverberated through the room, cutting you off. You recoil from the slap that landed on your cheek, you squeezed your eyes shut as your skin throbbed from the pain. You bit your tongue to silence yourself.

Dottore slowly got down to his knees right in front of you. As much as he didn't want to hurt you, he needed you to get your shit back together. This wasn't you. Or at least, this was a side of you that he has never seen, nor meant for his eyes. It didn't feel right to see you trembling before him, to be so afraid.

"You should have never came back." He heard you take in a sharp inhale, yet your eyes remained shut, too uncertain, too scared to look at him in the eye. "It would've been better for you to leave me." Your brow furrowed at his words.

He knew that you loved him for who he was. You probably knew him more than he knew himself, but could he say the same for you? Even if the answer was no, if Dottore should stay the same, not changing himself after this occurrence, he knows that you'd still love him.

Slipping off the gloves that he has always worn, and the mask that he had recently adorned, his hands reached for your face. Hesitantly, he cupped your cheeks into his hands. Your eyes snapped open as you jerked back from his touch. You seemed more shocked that he attempted to fondly hold you rather than hit you.

It stirred unexplainable emotions in his chest... Emotions that he'd rather not experience more, and a bitter taste settling on his tongue. He tried again, unsure if he was doing it correctly. Your discomfort didn't help either.

Dottore has never been honest on how he truly felt. He didn't even know what he felt half the time, mostly because he had only felt them with you. These emotions, these feelings, joy, anger, sadness, loneliness, and perhaps love; if it wasn't for you, he would've never known how it feels to be... more than the freak that people has entitled him to be. More than a heretic or a mad scientist. You had always treated him as if he was a person worth of your love and affections.

He should've been more honest.

"You... are worth more..." Your eyes widened at the words he spoke, "Worth more than I could ever admit... All your efforts, warmth... They have gone unnoticed... Ignored..."

"Zan- Dottore..." He could feel you shaking against his bare hands, the texture of your skin, the curve of your cheeks, he could feel them now. His hands tingled in a way he has never felt before, pulling you closer to him.

He wishes that you called him Zandik instead.

"You are nothing in comparison to all the achievements that I have accomplished. You are annoying, loud, and always stirring up trouble in my laboratory... And yet, during your disappearance..."

He shouldn't have turned a blind eye in everything you have done for him.

There were a lot of things he wanted to say, things he knew you needed to desperately hear, but they got stuck in his throat. Dottore has never been honest, it was easier to ignore it than confront things that were unknown. How ironic, given that he was a scientist that always pursued the unknown.

Nonetheless, you understood. You always did. He needn't speak for you to get him.

Dottore could've claimed that he reached to this point all on his own, with his unparalleled genius and dedication. But undoubtedly, you were there throughout his whole life, from his brightest days and past all his hardships. You've supported him more than anyone else.

And he made another mistake; letting you believe that you're nothing to him. That he doesn't love you, and that you were merely just a tool. No, that's not true. Not when his heart, his cold, dead heart, could only beat for you, and that without you, he was incomplete as you are. Lost, and lonely.

"I realized that fact too late..." Dottore closed his eyes, pressing his forehead against yours. You couldn't help but let out a sob, your heart pounding against your chest at the sudden honesty he was pouring onto you. Oh how long you've yearned for this moment, it made you tremble.

It was quiet, below a whisper that Dottore wasn't sure if you heard it... But for you, it was loud and clear, his words repeating again and again inside your head.

"I..."

vi. devotion

"What took you so long?"

As you step foot into his office, barely making it past the threshold, he already hit you a question with the most accusing tone ever. However, you respond with a genuine, warm smile, immediately feeling a sense of familiarity despite his prickly demeanor. Playfully, you quip, "Six months away on a mission, and this is the welcome I receive, babe?"

Dottore responded with a scoff and a roll of his eyes, a scowl forming on his lips, one that you've grown so in love with. His gaze fixated on your disheveled appearance, taking in the swollen state of your lips, the trickle of blood staining your chin, and the messy opening of your collar, revealing a mosaic of red and purple marks adorning your collarbones and neck. His scowl only deepened upon witnessing the spectacle, and even behind his mask, you could sense the piercing daggers of his glare aimed directly at you.

"I received news of your arrival hours ago, and yet you decided to take your sweet time before gracing my office with your presence?" He ceased his writing and put his pen down on his desk. Oooo, he's serious.

"Awww, miss me so much, you keep up to date on everything I do?" You cooed at him teasingly at him and decided to push his papers to the side and sit on his desk, directly in front of him. He chose to ignore your remark.

"What were you doing?" He asked, more inquisitive this time, leaning towards you. You responded with a playful gesture, pursing your lips in a thoughtful manner, feigning deep contemplation over the endeavors you had undoubtedly embarked upon your return.

Just by this, he already seemed unimpressed.

"Oh, you know, I passed by some cuties to your office, so I decided to have some fun!" You smirked when he crossed his arms, his scowl deepened when you pointed at the red marks all over you. It was as if a bunch of sharks had decided to latch onto your skin and bite you.

"So you cheated on me." He bluntly stated. "Again."

You gave him an incredulous look as you let out an overexaggerated gasp. "Oh my darling! I would never think of cheating with you!" You dramatically cried out, "You'd cut me up to pieces and put my parts in individual jars up for display!"

A faint twitch appeared at the corners of Dottore's lips and you swiftly abandoned your playful facade. "Hey," You pouted, your voice tinged with a hint of warning, "Don't get any ideas. I don't like that look on your face."

Dottore's scowl suddenly transformed into a wide grin, revealing the sharp teeth that you've always adored. "Well, my dear, if you were preserved in a jar, at least I would have the assurance that you'd remain there, looking exquisitely beautiful for me, without any possibility of you straying." He playfully remarked, his words laced with a hint of possessiveness that you couldn't help but find endearing.

You bark out a laugh, shaking your head. “That’s morbid, love.” He tutted at that and let out a small ‘hmph!’ in disappointment. He’s so cute. “Besides, I’m not cheating!”

“They are segments.” Dottore deadpanned, his scowl returning to his face, but you could tell it was in a much playful manner. 

You raise a brow at that, “Uh, segments of you. Designed after you. They think like you. They are literally you, but just a specific age, ‘cuz you’re crazy like that.” 

"But they could never compare to the real deal," Dottore persisted, his voice carrying a hint of seriousness. "The true original. The one who created all of them," He declared, pointing confidently at himself, and you almost imploded trying to hold back your laughter.

“I’m sorry, babe, I couldn’t help myself.” You cooed, sliding off his desk and decided to make yourself comfortable on his lap instead, “They’re irresistible.” Dottore looked extremely disappointed at you, his arms snaking around your waist and pulling you closer to him. He held nothing but disdain at the sight of the marks on your neck. 

“Yes, so much, so you let them bite you all over.” 

“They missed me. They only bite because it’s a trait of yours.”

“You have no evidence of this so-called trait of mine.”

“Babe, you for real?” Before you could say another word, Dottore seized you by the collar and pressed his lips against yours with an insatiable hunger. The force of the kiss left you breathless, a testament to the months he had spent yearning for your presence, and you decide to kiss his segments before him? The one you’ve known the longest? He tilted his head to deepen the kiss, and before you got yourself lost against his lips, he bit your bottom lip. Hard.

“Ah, fuck!” You cursed out loud, furrowing your brow at the big bruise on your lips. It tasted raw, the fragile skin easily broken with his sharp teeth. More blood dribbled down your chin as you stared at him, your turn to look so unimpressed. “No evidence, my ass! Stop biting so hard, I’m going to die of blood loss.” 

Dottore looked so proud of himself, smirking at you. “I have no idea what you are talking about, my dearest.”

You could only scoff when he licked his lips, definitely enjoying the taste of your blood. “Maybe if you were more honest, then I’d stop making out the segments behind your back.” That seemed to pique his interest, his expression reflecting an internal struggle as he debated whether to succumb to your obvious attempt at manipulation.

"I'm sorry, dear, I love you."

"See," You grin at yourself. "It's not so hard now, is it?"

Years had passed since that one intense confrontation, yet Dottore still struggled to openly express his deepest emotions, but you had come to accept it as a part of who he was. It didn't pose a significant problem for you, as you understood his unique way of conveying love. In his own enigmatic manner, he had discovered alternative ways to demonstrate the depth of his affection. He had shed his inhibitions and now allowed his love to flow freely, unencumbered by the barriers he had once erected.

Dottore hummed, "You know, my dear, I still think you'd make a splendid addition to my collection, preserved in a jar for all eternity." His playful tone hinted at his twisted sense of endearment, a dark humor that was uniquely his.

"I take it back." You glared at him, shivering at the thought. "You're mad."

A mischievous smile danced on Dottore's lips as he teased, brushing his gloved fingers gently against your cheek. "Ah, but my dear, it's precisely that madness that captivates you, isn't it?"

With a huff, you wrapped your arms around his neck, burying your face in the comfort of his shoulders. "Lucky for you, that's true," you admitted, your voice filled with a mix of exasperation and affection. "Missed you,"

He held you tight in his embrace, reciprocating the warmth of your hug. Picking up his pen once again, he returned to his work, the presence of you on his lap bringing a sense of completeness. It felt like home. "And I've missed you too, my knight," He whispered, his words blending seamlessly with the scratching of the pen against the paper, as you both settled into the comforting rhythm of each other's presence.

- ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛❛ If you like this a lot, consider reblogging! I'll appreciate it very very much! Don't repost and/or translate my work anywhere. ❜❜ ┊˚ ̥۪͙۪◌

[hashtagloveloses]

there is this new genre of "indie" (they're very mainstream, just not Big Blockbuster) film that is "look at these crazy rich people doing INSANE things! wealth inequality amirite" and they have nothing else to say except be shocking and say yeah rich people are a scourge on this earth and while i appreciate consistently hammering home that important message im like ok and can we say anything about the system that made them wealthy or anything else about the human condition or.....

[eelfuneral]

One story that I wish had been expanded on in TCW is Slick’s. It always bothered me that after realizing that the Clones were enslaved, he is condemned by the narrative and never seen again. Sure, selling out his brothers and getting them killed was objectively wrong, but I find it odd that his observation about the Clone’s lot in life didn’t get a real look beyond “lol, this guy is an asshole. Back to fighting, boys!” In fact, one of my biggest gripes about Star Wars canon as a whole is the fact that the whole slave army situation isn’t often acknowledged for what it is: a human rights violation, especially when so many of the characters brushing it under the rug are portrayed as “heroic” and other arcs are willing to condemn slavery against other groups but not the clones. The double-standard about who “counts” as enslaved and the hand waving of it altogether smells like a missed storytelling opportunity, to me.

I wish we got to see more about the clones grappling with the disconnect between wanting to do their duty to the Republic and wanting freedom to make meaningful choices. Rex meeting Cut *kind of* touched on that, but that specific internal conflict was underutilized throughout the series as a whole. The Bad Batch is doing a far better job of tackling this issue so far, and I hope that we get an outright confirmation from characters in-universe that the clones were enslaved and “protecting the Republic” was no excuse for politicians to purchase an army of people who had zero rights and zero choice but to fight and die in the war. This characterization and world-building would be SO INTERESTING, and it’s frankly criminal that the writers weren’t all over it!

I also want to know what exactly radicalized Slick and allowed him to see through his conditioning and sheltered upbringing. Once he was arrested, what happened from there? How did other clones deal with the fallout? Leaving Slick’s story off where it the writers did felt suspiciously like them going “I know that having our good guys enlist a slave army looks bad, but look at this guy! He doesn’t want to be enslaved! What a crazy asshole, amirite fellas?”

[praxieserver]

🎹 💀🍎 for Azi 👁👁

AZI! For reference, this is Azi, full name Aziraphale Page (soon to be Aziraphale Page-Pearce). Basically I gave danwil an ambiguously gendered bird child. They use any pronouns so go crazy!

Now to the questions!

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?

Wilson has probably played the violin for them, and they've probably asked him to teach them, so they probably play violin. Actually between the 2 of them, Azi used to be the only one that played the violin, but I also liked the image of Wilson playing the violin, so now there's 2 motherfuckers who woefully play the violin when they wanna angst.

Unironically probably enjoys reading. Not like as book connoisseur, but like. Just reading. For fun. She'll sit on and armchair and read the newspaper like an old man and go "Ah yes. Peak entertainment."

She does the usual Hogwarts shenanigans such as duelling, going into the forbidden forest, making a club to ship your teachers with, the works!

Lastly, he probably also cooks fairly well due to Daniel's influence.

This is all prone to change aince Azi isn't as well established of a character compared to Wilson yet, but thats what I have on them at the moment! :]

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

Again, core character aspect I haven't thought through that well yet. However.

She probably has a very strong dislike of the feeling of not being in control/having no agency. (Like father like son amirite guys kekeke—)

Basically intheir Traumatic Backstory™, they're robbed of their personal agency, denied of their humanity, played as a puppet. So after escaping that, she'll definitely place a huge importance in being in control. Thus they'd probably have a really deep-rooted hate of the prospect of being pulled along a string/being caged/being used. This sort of manifest in an interesting matter since they end up coming off as manipulative themselves. As a little kid it's more them bossing around their 'minions' so they can make their favorite teacher slash canon but it probably gets a little more concerning with age. Nothing that bad though. Probably.

I phrase it more as something she hates rather than something she fears, but I feel like she just hates it more than she fears it. It's something she's willing and ready to face, even if scary.

So, for something she fears more than she hates: Showing vulnerability to someone she trusts, but getting that vulnerability taken advantage of.

🍎 - What is the OC's relationship w/ their parents like?

Very close and very good! Because Daniel as a single father who is also a good father is super sexy.

Ok but in all seriousness, they love Daniel lots. They're extremely grateful for him since he's the one to save them from their abusive situation, so she's uber protective of him and wants to return the favor of Daniel taking her in and caring for her. In the "Hey! Only I'm allowed to talk shit about my Dad!" kinda way. She thinks Daniel's a bit overbearing (and to be fair, he is) but she'd sooner peck your eyes out for so much as breathing at him funny than hating him for it.

They have that Parent Trying to be Strict and In Control vs Silly Shithead Asshole Kid kind of dynamic going on basically.

With """""Uncle Wilson"""""" who is definitely not having a decade long will-they-won't-they dance with Daniel that Azi definitely doesn't see at all, they're a menace as a pair. A pain in Daniel's ass. And face. They've drawn on his face countless time while he's asleep. They're also a pain to house, having nearly burned his kicthen down multiple times.

Wilson is more or less the fun """""uncle""""" to them and she lets her get away with things Daniel doesn't. He's basically a second father to her and a part of the family. And in fact she will get him into the family by making him marry her dad. Modern problems require modern solutions.

[ananke-xiii]

There's a line from s11e20 "Don't call me Shurley" that got stuck into my little nogging and it's when Chuck tells Metatron "You were just the closest angel to the door when I walked into the room".

Now assuming that Chuck is a lying liar who lies I still like this line because it says way more about Chuck than about Metatron. Then Chuck goes on and delivers his cheap shot: "There's nothing special about you, Metatron. Not then… not now".

(Little aside: AND THEN Amara comes in a few episodes later and calls Metatron "The secretary"?! I mean, how can people not love her? Yes, she might have eaten a few souls so what? Sue her! He brother has eliminated WORLDS because Dean wouldn't bend the knee to him, who's the crazy sibling, huh? *insert a meta about Dean only willing to bend the knee to Cas in Purgatory and all the entendres intended*).

Anyway, for all his pettiness and shrewdness (Metatron is a great villain and I will die on this hill), Metatron replies with surprising grace:

"And I don't care if I was just the angel nearest the door. You picked me. Your light shined on me – Me! Oh, and the warmth. But then you left me. You left all of us."

My little fragile heart trembled a little to these words because... well, it's like the OG trauma, isn't it? To be chosen by your parents, to be loved unconditionally, to be somebody's favorite person... Oh, the warmth.

And so it hit me, I finally saw why I love SPN's angels so much. They are ALL (Cas included) a bunch of children screaming and kicking their feet because they want to be loved, thinking that if they follow their orders, if they fulfill their duties they will be loved.

They are all Lucifer minus the action and the mark.

These are Chuck's words to soothe Lucifer in "We Happy Few": I did. I was supposed to love all creation equally. I wasn’t supposed to have favorites. But you… You were mine. I gave you the Mark because I loved you the most, because I thought you were strong enough to bear it. And when I saw that I was wrong… When I watched my choice devour my most cherished son, I hated myself, and so I punished you. And I am so sorry."

Yes, Chuck is a lying liar who lies. Maybe he chose Lucifer because he was the one closest to the door. Who knows? Chuck doesn't care. Every angel's deepest desire is to be loved by God, to be the chosen one, to be his favorite. Which is both sad and... human? I guess it's a tragedy from the human perspective but maybe the human perspective is limited.

I don't really like the finale with Jack as God for a variety of reasons but, conceptually, the idea of a half-angel and half-human (Kelly Kline you will NOT be forgotten) becoming god is not that bad (Hello Jesus!). Especially if the half-angel part is theoretically (well in pratice too but I mean biology what amirite?)Lucifer's. Because, as Sam says in "We Happy Few": I-I can’t believe I’m actually about to say this, but… um. Lucifer is right.

At the end of the day, SPN as a narrative, did, in a very convoluted and maybe unintentional way, agree with Lucifer.

Like, Lucifer was right. And I know that if we put on our morality glasses Lucifer is evil incarnate etc but honestly? By the same lensens, the whole heavenly host is kinda evil. They ALL (Cas included) did a lot of pretty horrible stuff. All the horror and the pain for a God that doesn't care.

So I guess what should have been explored in Dabb's era was not so much nurture vs nature but more "what does it mean to be half-angel?" 'Cause really, ALL angels are a little bit like Lucifer. And if no angel really represents "good" what are we, humans, left with? Does the question "nurture vs nature" even makes sense?

There's really nothing SPECIAL about any of us, humans, angels, demons, monsters. We ALL want to just be chosen and loved unconditionally. It turns out angels are not that different from humans, aren't they?

[abysswatchers420]

POST DEVIL ENDING

saburo overall keeps yorinobu's look, changes his glasses OBVIOUSLY. figures he'll keep the updated 'modern' wardrobe and mix his preferred traditional clothes in with.

has a real adjustment period of "damn son, you live like this?" *hasnt been able to run or jog for nearly 100 years* big cringo moment having to see his own son's dick n balls. extra cringe when he's overcome with the classic human baser instinct of "i NEED to fuck" and gets flashes of yori's memories w evelyn. in fact, he gets LOTS of flashes of yori's memories, and it makes him a LIL BIT crazy. gets him a LITTLE off track.

between hanako urging him to get it together and yori haunting him, it's what makes him reach the peace agreement with rosalind myers despite her initial shittalking the whole "immortality" thing (classic politician flipflopping amirite)

his new personal project is now human cloning. He's gonna make some clones to keep this shitwagon rollin. And ALSO, yes, he had a relic made of yorinobu and kinda wants his boy back. granted, he's still salty over having the life choked outta him (does NOT like breathplay in sex LOL)

his relationship with hanako has irrevocably changed to be a little more awkward. she doesn't care to see her brother's face now acting as her dad.

[azumasoroshi]

minidura chapter 1 react

hey guys started reading minidura i think im in love

just imagining izaya going like "yahoo!! X3" man. i know mikado is the real protagonist and not being able to see through izaya's eyes adds to his charm and intrigue but like mannn itd be so fun to just watch him fuck shit up like in that one episode. he must be hilarious to people watch with

god they're so fucking cute i love this chibi style

IT'S HIMMM IT'S MY BABYGIRL

"he's the one who most fails to live up to his name"? is that like a kanji name joke goddammit

i really shouldnt just like. post the entire pages but it's such a pain to keep taking screenshots :sob: you guys have no idea the pain my wrists were in after that drr ten react

haha dramatic irony but i just realized i have no idea what exactly izaya takes responsibility for and what stuff he blames on human nature/self-interest/naïvite and now i have to find out ugh

durarara illustrators draw simon normally challenge :sob: im so sorry they do this to you king if i ever get around to drawing you ill do you justice

also tiny shizuo <3333

obsessed with walker's cat face he and erika are so platonic(?) soulmates besties cringefail weeb team rocket ass duo

i was 100% ready for erika to start grilling mikado on his supposed raging homosexual unrequited love(?) 300k slow burn romance but oh well. it happened in my head so it must be canon

i dont care enough about the raira trio to ship mikakida or whatever their ship name is (isnt the celty head girl named mika too. oops) but i do think it's funny that their ship name could be kidado because that sounds like cuidado. watch out

ok i know they're trying to make him look cool but he does not look cool in the chibi art style lmfAOo

itd be really funny if they switched the styles to the normal manga style during serious moments like i think the bsd wan manga/anime did lmfao

LMFAO??? i like how we only see the top of izaya's head pff-

celty my bbygirl i love your shadow puppets dont listen to them

yk what it's actually a crime this didnt happen in canon

AND HERE HE ISSS!!!!! cringefail pathetic loser my beloved

god i hope he narrates the entire minidura (he probably wont)

ok he's really cute though....catboy irl fr

CAUGHT MID MONOLOGUE

cant believe they're both on a rooftop together whoa prime spot for confessions amirite (<- delusional)

im posting the tiny floored izaya on his own later because that's adorable. he's so cute when he's half dead

itd be really funny if all the events from minidura were all in izaya's concussed ass head from this moment as explanation for being noncanon

the "doctors hate him" meme but it's convenience store workers and shizuo heiwajima

actually construction workers probably hate shizuo too. and urban planners and anything that has to do with city work and also doctors because shizuo evades their healthcare insurance because he doesnt need it (i looked up japan's healthcare costs for this joke and concluded that i dont have enough time to pit the sources that say it's expensive and the sources that say it's reasonable against each other) and also vending machine companies

the "doctors hate him" meme but it's all of ikebukuro and shizuo (and also izaya)

i love how izaya just. stops bleeding. his platelets working mad crazy

(it's pretty easy to find translations online but here's the site im reading on anyway)

[spicyicymeloncat]

talk/doodle about hatsune miku for the art/opinions thing

Hatsune Miku???

Oh wow… my favourite Ninjago character… ig I can work with this…

Happy belated birthday Hatsune Miku

Hatsune miku is a vocaloid (a vocal synthesiser) created by Crypton Future Media and she is used to sing (and feature as a character) in songs (usually in Japanese) created by various artists that own her software. She is a widespread internet sensation, globally famous making cameos in various other mediums, like comics, anime and lady gaga concerts.

If you’d rather not delve in the horrors of EC (which is murder and everything that’s worse than murder) then just skip this paragraph. Miku tends to be given character of a sentient doll constantly in an existential crisis and severe daddy issues. One of her roles is Maria Moonlit (which could be counted as her first appearance (or her last), if we’re counting song wise in chronological order. Idk? who’s counting amirite?). Maria Moonlit is an orphan born near the beginning of time, got struck by lightning and chosen to be the prophet and figure head to a technologically advanced medieval civilisation. She supposedly had the power to hear the voices of the gods who claimed to be her parents. However, the gods were evil and trapped somewhere and wanted to be born into human vessels, so she made up a lie to trick the people into starting a project to create magic twin babies to house the gods. This turns into an incredibly convoluted science experiment which involved serial killers, cloning, incest????, the government being overthrown, dragons and the entire city exploding and all technology being lost as the world is thrust into the dark ages. Maria lives the sad life of wondering who she is and wondering whether she’s just been used like a plaything to the gods, and technically she was, because she was a doll wound up like clockwork to repeat her miserable life forever (literally, there’s time travel shanigannery). We can assume she’s a doll because she’s the reincarnation of one that has been sent back in time. Okay Ik that was entirely crazy but that’s only the first part of evillious. Miku’s two most prominent parts in the series however, is trans lesbian servant girl Michaela, who got assassinated in the name of a jealous betrothed of a man with a one sided crush on her and became a tree - and licensed doctor by day, drug supplier mafia member by night, Margarita, who is unable to sleep because she’s secretly a doll and her husband only married her because she was rich and he likes gambling and sleeping around, so she released an airborne toxin killing a whole town whilst calling herself the sleep princess. The first girl, Michaela, is part of the more well known section of the series, the story of evil. She was originally a tree spirit in the form of a bird, who became a human in order to become close to a depressed peasant girl who was ostracised from her village due to her ancestry to a certain clan. She learns the joys of being human, hanging out with her friend, falling in love with said friend, but eventually her otherworldly beauty causes conflict and the continent goes to war, which ended in the genocide of a country and Michaela stabbed and left in a well. The other girl, Margarita, is a pretty significant character in the series due to the fact that the series is structured around the biblical seven deadly sins, with her story being Sloth (Michaela is a side character of Pride’s story). Margarita may seem like an odd choice for sloth as part of her story follows how she is unable to sleep, and instead works hard to develop her gift to her loved ones (but gift in the German meaning of the word check below image). But sloth also means lacking devotion or care, and Margarita by the end of it, despite once vowing she’d always her husband, couldn’t give a damn about him in the end, describing herself again like “a plaything, broken from the start” and eventually she gives up on everything. All these Miku characters all have the same things in common (other than being screwed over by men), which is their relationship with inhumanity and artificiality, which is kinda meta given how Hatsune Miku is an artificial singer made for the amusement of others. But at least she’s not about to poison anyone because of it.

I’ve spoken too much evillious, so let me info dump about a much more palatable Miku related thing. That was a pun because it’s Colourful Palette. Or Colour Stage? Uhh Project Sekai. Yeah. A rhythm game (that’s free), that revolves around the concept of different genres of hatsune Miku that come from magic other worlds and are really good therapists. There are five storylines of different music groups that have really strong feelings tm that their emotions spawned whole other worlds that are inhabited by vocaloids, who want to help the main characters, discover what their feelings are so they can write songs about it. Yeahhh… Miku comes in five different flavours! School, idol, street, catgirl clown and depressed! ALSO EVILLIOUS DID A CROSS OVER WITH THE GAME SO THE POISON LADY IS HERE ALSO. The songs used in the rhythm game consists of a lot of iconic vocaloid songs as well as songs specifically commissioned for the game, sung by both vocaloids and the real life voice actors, which is very fun. Hatsune Miku, due to coming in different forms in this game, kinda works like a character from a multiverse story (like spider verse or the incredibly convoluted branch of the undertale fandom), and it seems like Miku is kinda just born from emotions and music, which makes her way more cryptid/deity like than the game presents her to be. Miku is just an entity yknow? I haven’t finished the main storylines of the game yet, but they’re good and also the vocaloid side plots are cool. For example the School world Miku tries her hardest to act like a mentor figure to the humans, whilst Luka (another vocaloid) who is more of a mentor figure to Miku looks on. I think in the fandom, the theme park theatre storyline and the emo shut ins storyline are more popular (because they are the embodiment of the “nothing in life matters” millennial vs gen z meme), and can we talk about depressed Miku because she’s literally born out of somebody’s mommy issues and depression but she’s really sweet. The whole “Miku’s personality is based around the feelings that are put into her songs” are again in reference to how the character of Miku works.

To round off this ramble about Miku I’m going to talk about some of my favourite Miku songs. I’m more of a kagamine Len listener, especially when I was younger and first discovered vocaloid but these are my Miku picks.

Miku by Anamanaguchi: yeah so this chiptune song is about Miku herself and it’s pretty iconic. A lot of vocaloid songs are kinda vague, but this one seems to describe who and what Miku is in a way that makes her seem mysterious, like an interesting technological phenomenon which checks out. She mentions how “anyone can find her” and that people can “play me break me” referring to how she’s easily found on the internet and she can be used to make songs. The ending of the song seems to take a more sinister turn where Miku seems to want to make you stay forever (in like a ddlc Monika way). It does make sense in a way, since Miku is a program that relies on other people’s interest to stay alive and relevant, and in a sense, people’s dedication/addiction to Miku is what keeps her going. She’s like one of those spooky maybe??sentient AIs.

The Disappearance of Hatsune Miku by cosMo: so this is a song depicting what happens to Miku when no one likes her. Specifically this is supposedly about that one time in 2007 when suddenly, Miku disappeared from the search engines, and every time someone tried to look her up, the search results came up blank. She became incredibly popular in a short amount of time that allegedly people searched her so much that Google and yahoo blocked the search, because it looked like spam. The incident upset people so much they created a fan made character, that later was recognised as an official derivative of Miku, based on their boredom. There’s also a conspiracy on whether this was actually a motivated attack on Miku’s popularity due to an anti Miku campaign lead by an advertising agency that influenced the Japanese music industry but idk there are a lot of stories on the internet. Evidently the problem is fixed. The song came out around that time and is about Miku lamenting the fact that she’s getting shut down, and all she wants to do is sing before she dies. Yeah. The song is notorious, not just for its background but also for its incredibly fast paced rap?? part that gets as fast as 240bpm, and I think the fact that’s is almost impossible for a human to sing it, works well with Miku’s struggle with the fact that’s she’s not human.

Okay that’s a lot of talking so here are some quick recommendations:

The maiden of the tree ~ Millennium Wiegenlied ~ by Akuno-P: this is the evillious song about Michaela the spirit turned human lesbian. Very boppy!

Patchwork staccato by toa: I like this one for the actual music it’s a bop. There’s a few interpretations of the song but generally it’s about relationship problems, be it one sided love or a toxic relationship that’s hard to break away from.

Kagerou Daze by Jin: more of a rock song, which is part of a wider vocaloid series (The Kagerou Project) and it’s about a boy who keeps living through the same day over and over again because his friend keeps dying no matter where he takes her. It’s a time travel trauma loop! The song ends when the boy realises to break the cycle, he has to die instead, and m the last verse of the song reveals the girl is also trapped in the same loop. Fun! The actual story is a little different but I don’t need another incredibly complex and convoluted vocaloid series to cry about so I didn’t get into it. Also the animation for it is so cool

Anything from the Night ∞ Series by Hitoshizuku-P x Yama△: a series consisting of four songs sung by eight vocaloids (ofc Hatsune Miku is included), which tell the tale of a group of actors who get trapped repeating the same play of a manor in the woods forever which also becomes real life because someone lost the last page of the script (and also someone perhaps died??). The songs all tell the same story from different perspectives and end differently (but usually either Miku or everyone else dies). There’s a novel about it. It’s confusing spooky and good music. I also feel like I’ve listed way too many dark songs oops.

Aww man I can’t talk about “all phone zombies lead to Rome” by manbo-p because it’s a gumi song, not Miku. It was going to be the one not tragic song on this list! Oh well you should totally listen/watch it, it’s hilarious and also educational.

Well yeah that’s it! My tastes in Miku songs are a little intense but yeah!

[crybabydraws]

"Toriel letting Frisk leave the ruins is her giving up on saving Frisk's life and giving up on preventing war between humans and monsters."

(sarcastically) Yeah I wonder why she didn't go with Frisk out of the Ruins or why she let Frisk leave the Ruins at all! It's almost like she's done this before, knows Frisk won't be happy, and is trapped in traumatic cycle in which she is forced to let kids go again and again. But that would be crazy, amirite? I mean, even if she was trapped by her trauma, why would she just let Frisk out of the Ruins like that?! At least she'd be protecting them even if it would be kidnapping!! She clearly didn't try very hard to keep Frisk there in the Ruins. All she did was tell Frisk about how if they leave they're going to die, try and destroy the one way out of the Ruins, offer to try and give them a happy life, and fight Frisk so they could prove to her that they are strong enough to survive. That's not a lot AT ALL! She should've at least set up a safety measure or something for if they did leave the Ruins like having someone promise to watch over and protect them aNd ShE nEvEr DiD aNyThiNg LiKe tHaT!!1!!

[ilikedyourablogithere]

Going through the Abrahamic mythos for dislyte wishlist

like ya I usually just dismiss it cause all everyone is just going to say is jesus revives in three turns or lucifer... as a pretty man (game changing ideas I know)

but no... seeing as this is a more likely to happen than not since they're using demons for bosses now, let's make the list

starting with angels I want

Sandalphon

The Chief of the 7th Heaven

The one in charge of receiving prayers for God

And noticably described as tall which is saying alot seeing how angels can shapeshift. So dudes gotta be pretty big to be described as a tall angel

The 7th Heaven is where the angels that sing to god reside. So another singing esper with some sort of support

Legendary Creatures I'll pick the

Re'em

Described as unicorn, some sorta african bovine or a rhino. I say it'd make for a cool furry (I mean we don't have a rhino furry yet)

gigantic has strength very durable and a horn that can reach the sky. these things were mistake for mountians

a defender wind esper that works similar to Li Ao, where it removes characters from the field for a set number of turns

I can't really say I want a satan of all things but I guess I'll pick

Mastema

I mean according to the story he's not actively tempting human into doing evil so they go to hell and burn for all eternity. From his perspective he's just tempering humanity, giving out test, making them stronger...if someone can't hang and end up failing to meet up to standards well... well the bible doesn't tell stories about those people now do they?

A gimmick controller that extendeds buffs and debuffs

For fallen I'll pick

Eligor

mostly cause he's a knight with a horse so I imagine his esper would get some cool looking armor and some crazy design horse to ride which would be pretty cool

"discover hidden objects, kindle love and lust, knows the future of wars and how soldiers should meet, along with procuring the favor of lords, knights and other important people. He is apt for divination and the performance of spells to strategize one's life."

So wind support. basic attack has chance of ignoring defense. second kindles love where he shares hp and ultimate kindles lust damaging attackers. think alexa but in full metal armor

Okay for humans of note I pick

Deborah

mostly for that name (the inner DBZ nerd in me was reminded of debura) also I have no girl esper ideas on this list.

Anyways Deborah. The judge of Israel the "fiery woman"

had a part in the bible called "The Song of Deborah" which appearently may be on of the earliest hebrew poetry ( history is a trip amirite ). I think that's like 4 star esper worthy myself

and gonna be 100% I just want some hardass of a woman with a fire stand. just a lady who stays mad...and because she's an esper she gets fire powers.

Because I think that would be cool. the end

And ya I think that covers the bases for me. what about you guy? got anyone of your wishlist

[canyonkingdom]

cowardly drunk

tw: alcohol

then i'll defy the laws of nature and come out alive

"I hate them."

then i'll get you

---

Broomskingdom manuscripts #3988

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^^^^^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have been forced to document everything about Rhye Juno is the first sea of Rhye and the closest to Broomskingdom. It is generally very calmand no known sea creatures possess it. It is the safest out of the seven seas.

Oh, boy. Wait until they reach Calla.

-Maxwell Rollingham

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^^^^^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been several hours into the conquest and everyone on the ship were bored out of their mind. Helly sat on the crow's nest, partly enjoying the slightly orange skies dotted with fluffy clouds and the sound of the small waves.

"Have you tried bonding with the others, Helly?" Posty asked as he nudged Helly.

"They're..." Helly started. "Intimidating."

"The two buff dudes are, but the lady..." Posty moved next to Helly and whilstled.

Amber did look stunning. Everything about her was made to be wife material. A kind, soft-spoken, and a great medic.

"She's pretty." Helly commented.

"I know!" Posty fawned, "She's everything I could ever ask for in a girl! Yet I got no chance with her, man. I'm just a mailman loathing my life!" he whined, hitting Helly's shoulder.

Helly watched as whiffs of Amber's blonde hair blew sweeped through.

"You're right, you fuck, she's not gonna like a short humanized version of a chihuahua." Helly chuckled, earning a slap on his face.

Posty huffed, his cheeks red. "I doubt she'd like a former drunk-"

"That became the queen's personal adviser-"

"Who is still a drunk with more manners-"

"Do you see me craving alcohol in this trip-"

Their feud was interrupted by the breaking of glass.

"There's whiskey in this boat!" Roy gleefully said as he dug in piles and piles of the precious liquid.

"Get me some of that, handsome." Amber chided as she walked up to the whiskey bottles.

"Oh, fuck yeah. My favorite." Helly said happily, standing up and leaving the crow's nest.

Posty was agape. "Drunkard." he muttered, smiling at Helly grabbing a whiskey bottle. He followed suite.

"I don't do alcohol." Poli sighed. He leaned against the mast of the boat, watching as everyone else chugged whiskey like they depended on it.

"Oh, it feel goods to drink again." Amber said.

"Don't leave me out!" Cap groaned. "I'm driving all of you to Rhye, I should atleast get a shot."

Helly and Amber continued to drink roughly, while Roy took soft sips. Posty walked up to the captain's deck.

"I got you." Posty asserted, shoving the tube of the whiskey bottle down Cap's throat.

Cap's frantic movements immediately pulled out the bottle, choking on the slightly bitter taste of the aged whiskey. "Fuck you, man!" he screamed, still coughing. Posty laughed.

---

Queen Jin sat atop her balcony.

"Max, will they possibly serve justice?" she asked.

"I'm very sure, your Majesty." Max answered suite, a smile on his face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^^^^^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They're not living another day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^^^^^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I know they will, your Majesty."

---

The crew were drunk.

"Oh my God." Cap stifled.

-///-

we love a little shenanigans amirite

[mediumtires]

i enjoy your work so so much :) what do you like most about writing toto and christian? you make them sound and their relationship so real

what an excellent opportunity to overshare anon, thank you!!

first of all, i wish i could pinpoint what exactly it is i find so hilarious about them. maybe it’s that the Gay For Eachother is so obvious. like fr, christian come on.

however. what i genuinely find so compelling are established relationships. there is such a vulnerability to the fact that they have already moved past the terrors of…. being known? learning each other, unapologetically? and still they continued to stay and commit, despite knowing each other, all of their flaws and faults and imperfections. i love the idea behind that. love can be so traumatising and being human is such an unforgiving, cruel, pitiless experience. in my mind, they are best friends above all. by having established who they are to each other and who they are with each other, they have built a connection that goes beyond being “just” partners, they really are each other’s ride or die. they are the only people who know each other, better than anyone else in the world. i am terrible at establishing relationships, in writing as in real life, and so to me the idea of two people recognising each other as their future and being brave enough to commit to this idea and being brave enough to be vulnerable for the other in that way is really powerful. because in the end we’re all just terrified of getting hurt and abandoned amirite?

and. what i also really love to do, and this is just double hermeneutics at this point, is to subconsciously feed my writing with characteristics i find compelling in relationships (read: nice). healthy communication. maturity. honesty. people getting over themselves. people making themselves vulnerable because the other person is worth it. i love that shit. give me all the healthy love, none of that mind games shady flaky shit. i love authenticity and i love people who are mature enough to reflect on themselves and keep themselves in check. meaning, yeah we all fuck up! we’re all still learning and growing and healing but there’s such a power in doing this with the help of others. it’s work and it hurts and it needs to be an active commitment, but it can be so so worth it.

also. i dug quite a hole for myself by putting them in a Literally So Established aka Married For Years relationship but i love that hole because it comes with so many fun angsty themes! longterm commitment! concept of self! loss of identity! add to that their high pressure crazy ass jobs and christian’s inability to Not Fuck Shit Up Constantly and we have ourselves a fun little hot pot of marital angst and emotional clusterfuck!

why i projected all of this on two middle aged petty rich dudes i cannot tell you.

[convexicalcrow]

So I should probably go pluralise the tag I'm using for this bc there isn't just one Vex magic grimoire, there's three. You've all seen the big one, I've posted about that one the most. (and I am STILL waiting for my paints to arrive ty AusPost delays wooo. -_-) But there's two other ones, smaller ones, that are part of this collection.

The big one covers Vex magic in all its forms and styles, and the idea/concept is for it to be mostly written by Pharaoh Cub, but with bits written by Scar as well, along with some illustrations bc who doesn't want an illustrated grimoire amirite? Also I want an excuse to DO art to begin with, so. :D So the canon for this book is that it's being written during season 7.

This one is the potions book, and was actually the first book I started for this project long before it became a project lol. I, like many others, am a notebook hoarder, and I had originally planned to use this one for actual planetary magic rituals and such, but for whatever reason, that never happened because my interest in planetary magic shifted away from needing that kind of thing.

So this book has sat by my monitor, unused and unloved, until I got an interest in potion making that collided with my Cubfan hyperfixation, and my brain decided to use this book for potions instead, both minecraft stuff and witchy stuff, in the same way that the Vex magic grimoire will have, like, cake recipes in it bc why not. :D

The illustration there is meant to be of netherwart, but I haven't got around to finalising that sketch yet. And it's on paper because the thing I drew on the other side I coloured with markers and it bled through quite badly (no you can't see it. XD) so I wanted to cover it up somehow.

In my head, this is like just one of Cub's random potion notebooks, with recipes and formulas and experiements and other things of note. There's no specific place in the timeline where this fits in, it's just there idk. The kind of book that was maybe started ages ago, forgotten about, and then he came back to it later when he had run out of other notebooks to fill perhaps. I feel like I'm gonna have to remind myself how to take lab notes again bc that feels like his style.

bc Scar absolutely does magic based on vibes, whereas Cub has a more experimental style that includes taking notes. That's what I feel anyway. Cub's absolutely going to do crazy stuff, but you'll know what he did and how he did it, whereas Scar's more like, idk it just worked idk how! about everything. XD

This is the newest one, The Book of the Stars. This is why I've been cataloguing the names of the stars in Cub's pyramid. I want to include notes on each of those, as well as including a bunch more stars as well bc I will definitely need them to fill out this thicc boi.

I want to finish the star map first before I decide what kind of information I want to include with each star (and galaxy and nebula and constellation). Also how I want to organise and classify them all. A-Z? Type? Real and then not-real? idk idk idk. Part of me had wanted to include, like, idk lore or something with each one, but I'm not sure that's necessarily the right way to go. idk. We'll see.

This is mostly meant to be a catalogue of stars as opposed to a grimoire, tho there may be some stellar magic information in here too idk yet. But the canon associated with this is that this is where the Evokers take their names from, from the stars listed in this book, to honour the knowledge Cub has taught them about Vex magic and how to use it more effectively. bc humans - players - name things, and once upon a time, the ConVex named a High Priest, and that is the origin of Evokers having names. Vex don't need them bc they are a collective (unless they need to stay in the overworld or are possessing a player, but even then, it is simply a tool and not something that belongs to any individual Vex alone), but Evokers aren't Vex, and are individual enough to take them on bc they all have different skills and talents and ranks amongst the Vex.

(@calcium-rods that's the star you're after <3 hidden in the corner on the eastern wall)

I've also wondered about whether to include the screencaps I took from the pyramid to show the stars and their names like the one above but I suspect that might be better suited to a sideblog type of situation bc printing all those out would go through far too much black ink. DX So we'll see what I do with that.

Also I'm approaching this as a practicing witch, and that's been a very interesting exercise. I love creating magic systems, but I also love writing about witchcraft and magic, and this is such an interesting project for me intellectually as well because it's not just creating new magics and explaining them, but also looking at different mechanics and ways to do magic, and how those blend in with some of the real magic stuff I've been studying, like astrology and stellar magic, planetary magic, and potion making. It's not my aim to be, like, evangelising about these practices through this project and trying to get others into witchcraft. I'm just doing something creative with my interests. It's like how you learn more about your own native language by studying another, right? I'm doing this more for my own mind and seeing these magics in a different context can help me make sense of them for my own work.

Also the current page I'm working on in the grimoire about Scar's glamours is I think going to end up getting quite deep into identity and masks and shapeshifting, and that's a very interesting idea to roll around in my head as much as it is to write fanfic about. bc masks can be used in very interesting ways for magic and shapeshifting, and the ConVex wearing their Vex masks asks a lot of those deep questions about the magic those masks use, and how they deal with identity in spite of the blackouts and possession the masks seem to give them. I'm also on board with the idea that the masks enable shifting into their Vex forms, that it unlocks that magic that they wouldn't otherwise be able to harness.

And so that's a really deep and interesting topic to explore, and to see how Cub and Scar might explain and understand it. bc from the start, I wanted this grimoire to be a conversation between them, as opposed to a dry feeling grimoire with academic-style articles. That's no fun. I want to practice voices, and characterisation, and explore the Vex stuff in a way I don't think I could do with a more prose-based bog-standard fanfiction style. And I get to flex my creative muscles in new ways, and that's very stimulating right now.

Tho i still have no idea how to classify this stuff. Is it fanfic? meta fanfic? something else entirely? idk anymore. I'm just gonna keep working at it and posting my progress and hopefully I'm not the only one who ends up really enjoying following this process. <3

Anyway. I think I've rambled enough for now lol. I have more work to do on this, but the star map work can wait bc migraine lol, so I might do some more mask chat and see where that conversation takes me.

Also, if anyone has advice for how to archive this project properly on tumblr, lemme know? I want to make sure it's all easily found and in one place, but not sure if a separate page on my main or a sideblog is the better way to do that alongside the tag I'm using for updates here. idk what works best for tumblr so, any advice would be much appreciated, ty. <3