#humans are space orcs prompts

[lovelesslittleloser]

Tbh this has been on my mind for MONTHS

Human codes… but they’re not actually codes??

A small group of humans is discovered by some curious aliens. Both sides can assume that the other is sentient. The aliens are trying to translate the humans’ language to their own, and the humans are trying to learn the aliens’ language. But since humans are tricky, they’ve decided that they don’t want the aliens to know their language, so they can have secret conversations.

So they go a little crazy. With written words, they randomly use lowercase and capital letters, even using numbers and symbols, and use a lot of slang, occasionally using words incorrectly on purpose. They’ll jumble the words a bit so that only human brains can guess their meaning (that thing where if you use all the letters and put the proper letters at the beginning and end it’ll be comprehensible), and even use additional or unofficial languages (commonly known words like ‘hola’, ‘si’, ‘oui’, etc, and piglatin, in which you typically take the first letter or syllable of a word, place it at the end, and add ‘ay’ to the end).

As for spoken words, they will do a bit of the above, mashing languages and slang, perhaps mispronouncing a few things, and quoting memes, vines, movies, and even singing parts of songs to throw off the aliens. Perhaps they will say something with a somber meaning in a joyful way to throw off the meaning, or even just naturally (‘I wanna die!’ ‘Mood’), or vice versa.

Additionally, there would have to be a TON of body language. Maybe even sign language, should they know any. Gestures and expressions, eyebrow wiggles and poorly-hidden grins. Ah, the beauties of communication.

[cyanidesymphoniesxylophones]

Hi crewmates it's your favorite poison eater slash poison checker slash freak of nature, Casks, telling you I'm now back in school and in need of therapy because how do people ??? interact with each other I'll probably write a thing to justify the HASO tag later but until then, please know there are a lot of food in the burners and that to not touch the fried potato leaves.

[brainrotwriter]

I don't know if anyone said this before, but, I think the one thing that would put the fear of an alien god into an alien would be just how territorial humans are.

Humans generally have small territories tightly packed against others, sometimes even on top of each other. They are social creatures, after all, and seem to enjoy inviting each other to their territories that might even contain other species!

So, you would think they would welcome other visitors, right?

Wrong. Humans are wildly territorial to the point even something as harmless as a fruit fly is murdered on sight. Then, surely they must allow other predators that repel such creatures, right? Wrong again, even 'useful' ones likes spiders are shown no mercy.

Alien: I apologize but I'm struggling to grasp this concept. You said you killed that arachnid as there was a possibility it could come in contact with your sleeping quarters. Doesn't your feline companion frequent there? I'm sure it couldn't do more damage than an apex predator?

Human: Uhh, okay let me rephrase that; it isn't about coming in contact with my stuff. It's about me allowing it. Mr. Pickle Jar is allowed to be here and touch my things, that spider isn't. So, it needs to die.

Alien, writing DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING UNLESS SAID OTHERWISE in big bold letters in the notepad: Ah, I see. Thanks for sharing.

[thatquietkid108]

Aliens: The pH of the soil is too high, I believe I'm gonna die!

Humans: FUCK YEAH! CONCRETE !

[injuries-in-dust]

The humans call her the "mom-friend."

The aliens call them the "human-wrangler."

Because she can usually get the humans to stop doing acts-of-human, and if she can't, she always knows how to deal with the aftermath.

[forgottenthreads]

Alien Ambassador: so I've just been to Sol, met with the Humans, and we have a problem.

Alien politician: what sort of problem?

Ambassador: remember a while back we ran into that insectoid species?

Politician: yeah there were like what 60 million of them in delta P right, such a headache trying to negotiate voting rights for them, their population was out of control.... An order of magnitude more than any other race we've encountered, Wait there's not 60 million humans right?

Ambassador: um no... There's not 60 million humans

Politician: thank the stars, those humans are a mess, I heard what they did to their system, global warming, nuclear war, then Mars... Just crazy...

Ambassador: they passed 60 Million humans before the nuclear war, in fact they passed 600 Million humans before their nuclear war.... They had 6 Billion when their global warming was first identified

Politician: oh.... Oh no...

Ambassador: the insectoids had one mother laying eggs, about half the humans are mothers, they can double in population every 2-3 years if they want, though typically they double every 30 to 50 years

Politician: so that's ...

Ambassador: they're coming up on a trillion

Politician: ... A problem. Wait how does even two planets support that many of them?

Ambassador: well they don't just live on Earth, Luna, Venus and Mars anymore, someone had the idea to turn space debris into 'space stations' and farmland... They predict their system can support 10,000x the population before running out of easily accessible materials.

Politician: ... Well the fecal matter is certainly going to hit the circulation unit when the news gets out... They have no self control... Wait a second wasn't Venus that Acid world... What the... How are they living there?

Ambassador: I figured it was better not to ask.

Politician: I think I'd better get to work, please write up a full report for .... Everyone .... everyone will want to know... *Sigh* it's gonna be a long Decade.

[writing-to-survive]

#119

"You're nothing at all of what I thought an alien would look like," Human says.

"What did you think I was going to look like?" Alien asks.

"I don't know. Multiple arms or heads. Maybe three eyes. Huge heads. Green skin," Human mumbles. "But you look like a human. Like me."

"You are very stereotypical. And—" Alien states.

"Sorry," Human winches.

"—saying we look like your species is an insult. The major difference between our two species is that mine is much more advanced than yours. I mean, you guys are still traveling to space in tin cans."

"I was wrong about what I thought you looked like, but I'm spot on about your personality," Human says.

"Intelligent and honest?" Alien assumes, grinning.

"A stuck-up, know it all who thinks their better than everyone else," Human corrects, wiping the smrik right off Alien's face.

[0-yeni-0]

Tongues are so strange like yea I have a wet appendage that moves in a extremely precise way like imagine this.

You have an alien boyfriend and you kiss him an they don’t have any fucking idea you have a tongue so they are like.

“aw this feels so sweet and sof-……why do I fell something wet and why is it moving directly at my throat”

And they go on a full panic attack because they think you got them pregnant with your weird fucking appendage

[occasionally-good-ideas]

Ya know the Phandom has a distinct LACK of the ‘humans are space orcs’ concept and just- COME ON! Give me human danny IN SPACE!!! Y’all like ghosts to much to abandon it and just chuck your characters into whatever storyline you want??? ALIEN GHOSTS!!!

Yo Danny Fenton he was just fourteen, when his parents built a Very Strange Machine, it was designed to view a World Unseen. When it didn’t work his folks, they just quit! Then danny took a look inside of it, there was a Great Big Flash! Everything just CHANGED! HE GOT TELEPORTED ONTO AN ALIEN SPACECRAFT!!!!

The aliens are fuckin SCRAMBLING to figure out What The FUCK this bipedal, sassy, stressed out little guy is and HOW THE HELL IT GOT ONBORD?!??

Danny meanwhile has gone feral mode and is running around flipping furniture trying to get away from the ‘probably ghost monsters’ and ends up hiding in an air vent until the Aliens lure him out with food

They have nothing to translate each other’s languages so they communicate with tones, expressions and body language until they can teach Danny Common (a language taught in all schools so This doesn’t happen)

Now danny has alien friends and together they have to journey to Earth to get him home!!

What adventures will they have??? What cultural differences will we encounter?????? The silly misunderstandings?????? What’s the crew like?? Are they space pirates??? Outlaws?? Otherwise on the run from the Space Feds?????

It can be a crossover!!! Sleepy Bois INC enjoyers I know you have a good chunk of stories!!! And I know y’all like dcxdp you think you can make the BATFAM ALIENS??? I think you could

[thepenultimateword]

More alien thoughts:

So you know how fireflies glow in order to attract mates? What if there was an alien species that did that. They may be insectoid, they may not be, but in any case, they just flirtatiously light up at people they’re interested in. Or maybe they also just use it as a sign that they want to form friendly relations. So when they first meet other species they blink their lights at them to show them they’re friendly.

I was reading someone’s post about how a lot people dislike bugs but like fireflies because they glow. So maybe most humans warm up to them pretty quickly because the lights immediately make them seem more cute and appealing. Later, humans need to differentiate a friendly blink from a flirtatious one.

Meanwhile, a mimicking species also glows, however they use their glow to draw in prey (like a lantern fish does). Knowing that their sister species is peace loving and trusted by the other species, they use their similar luminescent abilities to their advantage. Space soon needs to learn to pick out little differences between the two species so they know what they’re getting into when they’re glowed at—do they think you’re cute or do they think you’re dinner?

Aaand because I love unlikely relationship dynamics, maybe in very rare occasions, the aggressive species actually does come to like a human/other species, but people have a hard time trusting them because of the general behavior of their planet.

I’m imagining a human with an aggressive glowing partner, and they’re introducing them to friends like, “Look, my partner is so cute! They glow at me! It was so cute how blinky they were when we first met!”

And then everyone is like “O.O That’s one of the homicidal ones…”

[theriu]

I love posts about human customs being incomprehensible to aliens or humans having all these strange but helpful instincts, but you know what would also be funny? Aliens super relating to some of humanity’s less admirable qualities.

- Woman starts shrieking hysterically at alien encounter, aliens are pleased that someone there properly respects the momentousness of this potentially terrifying occasion.

- Obsessive collector becomes liason to aliens with dragon-like hoarding culture.

- Human crying over a papercut is first human that soft jellyfish aliens feel they can relate to.

- Massive introvert (this is not a bad human quality it’s just rarer to see in Humans As Space Orcs scenarios) who likes spending time alone in a small room is highly desirable as coworker for extremely social race that get anxious in enclosed spaces, lets them work on other things in more open areas.

- Human with poor hygeine learns aliens find the smell of sweat delightful.

- Hivemind aliens mistaking an angry mob for another hivemind, successfully open relations with mob leader.

[lovelesslittleloser]

Aliens react to customer service voices

Human: ugh, I should quit. The higher-ups are such—

*communicator sounds*

Human, with a business smile: Hello, chief, how can I assist?

Alien: *stares in confusion*

Human: any time, truely! *communicator turns off* ugh, what a prick

Alien: ???

[arsenatupin]

Born from a writing prompt last year on Reddit

After boarding my ship for the new exploration program, I took the letter that my previous commander slipped me when he learned I was gonna take my first command and have some human crew with me. It seemed strange, but boarding was done, we were on the way and outside routine reports, I had nothing else to do.

„Dear Sterpiin,

Congratulations on passing the command examination and lending your first exploration vessel. I learned you were assigned to sector 235B and you had some human crew on board. Read carefully my letter as its content means survival of your crew and success of your mission.

You see, the humans had this custom when they were still exploiting minerals on their home planet. They were bringing a yellow flying pet with them underground and if it died, it means danger and the humans were running away from that place.

Now what I’m trying to say is this: if you land on a planet, all your instruments say the atmosphere is breathable and you don’t detect any dangerous wildlife, turn to your nearest human crew member and ask them what they think of this new planet you just landed. This human is your flying pet. If it tells you, that it ressembles any part of their home planet, you put a gag-order on the ship and don’t let anyone set a single step outside.

I was on one of the first explorations with humans in year 2,523 A.S. We landed on a planet full with dense vegetation and some insectoid form of life. The human said it reminded him of a place called Amazonia on his planet. After 3 cerelan hours, we had two crew members dead after being bitten by a 8-legged horror not bigger than a plate, and some small 6-legged entities invaded the ship by thousands. Those were the worst, they dilapidated our provisions, cut cables and melt several of our Xeraus friends with some acid in their buttocks. We lost 10% of the crew before running away, 25% more due to deficiency of survival systems in the following weeks and the rest barely made it home due to food rationing. When we asked the human about it, he said that they had the same kind of bio-hazard on their planet and as they used to see those all the time, he didn’t think there would have been any issue.

Remember it well, what humans consider home is a lethal environnement for most of us and our allies. They don’t mean to downplay the dangers, they just don’t see them, they are numb and quite immune themselves.

Your human crew is your flying pet for minerals adapted to space travel. If they say that the planet you landed reminds them of any place on their planet, DON’T EXPLORE!

Wishing you safe travel out there!

PS: be careful of any pet native from their home planet that they bring onboard. Some are obedient to them, but others just ignore all instructions and knock things all over the place

Sincerely yours,

Commander Fhiljan”

I put down the letter and thought pensively... I should ask a human for the name of this yellow flying pet, that could be useful.

———————————————

First time writing a prompt, advice welcomed (written on mobile sorry for formatting)

[jpitha]

Story Prompt

Okay, I've had like, my third cup of coffee and it's not even 9am just so that you know where I'm coming from.

I want you to write a story about any Humans are X trope you want WITHOUT having a moment where your human explains the trope to your alien.

Trust in your reader to pick up what you're putting down.

[butchhatred]

What if aliens were sexually dimorphic to an extreme degree (like males are literally half the size of females or something) and theyd be baffled at how we can distinguish between men and women

[injuries-in-dust]

Writing prompt:

The Caracinos didn't have much of a sense of touch due to their thick carapace.

When they made first contact with the humans they judged their strength by giving them delicate glassware for all their food and drink.

When the glass didn't shatter in the humans grip, they judged them weak.

What a mistake to make...