#hyperfixation will never recover from this one friends

[lorastyrels]

Looks like you’re stuck with me

[a-sip-of-milo]

Need a reason to live?

Recently, I made four polls with eleven reasons to live in each. Most of those reasons were given to me by people who have also been suicidal in the past, and I decided to compile them into one long list (plus some) for anyone who needs it to come back to when they're out of reasons to keep going.

⚠️ Disclaimer: Please do not turn this into one of those "ALWAYS REBLOG IF YOU SEE" posts. Thank you. ⚠️

Relationships

Your furry companion(s) (this means pets and friends who are furries <3)

Your friends

Your family

Those who look up to you

To reconnect with someone you haven't seen in a while

Your headmates (specific to those who are apart of systems)

There's someone who isn't around anymore who would want you to keep going

To eventually be a mentor to someone

To make sure your animals never have to sleep alone

To fall in love

Your partner

To meet your online friends/mutuals

To tell your mentor/the people who raised you with kindness that you made it

To see someone close to you through their final days

To make it big enough to eventually provide for those you care about

Your FP (personality disorder specific)

Group photos with your (found) family and friends

To help your friends do the same

The friends you've yet to meet

A promise you made to someone special

Acts of kindness

To be there when someone needs you

To see someone smile because of you

To make a stranger's day a little brighter

To hand out compliments to those who need it

To make the world a little bit better before you go

To treat the people around you the way you wish you'd been treated

To be the one person in someone's life who is there unconditionally.

To help someone you love to quit an addiction

To do charitable deeds

Affection

Hugs from someone you trust

Kisses from a partner, close friend or pet

Cuddles when it's cold/lonely

To laugh until your stomach hurts

Forehead touches

To hold someone so tight that they're wheezing

Doting on people when they're feeling down

To make the people around you laugh

Interests

That new game/movie/show/book/album/etc. that you’ve been waiting for

Telling everyone and anyone who will listen about your special interest/hyperfixations

To share creations that aren't appreciated enough

To save up for something that would make life more bearable

To finally complete a collection

Projects would be left unfinished

To travel

To complete a project you've been working on for a long period of time

Projects you've yet to come up with

To start participating in special interests you've had to put on hold

To laugh at the creations you made when you were younger and less experienced

Those who consume your work would never get to see another creation of yours

Spite (because I think spite deserves Its own section:))

To stick it to your abusers

To prove your younger self wrong

To prove the people around you wrong

To prove your younger self right

To prove the people around you right

To spit on the grave of someone who hurt you

As a big 'fuck you' to the world and everyone in it who tried to silence you

To outlive your enemies

To do something that you've never been allowed to do (get a piercing, tattoo, cut or dye your hair, etc.)

To show off your success to the people who doubted you

To make sure whoever hurt you doesn't win

Milestones

You've got a milestone of some kind that you'd like to reach before you go

To see your (future) children reach a milestone of their own

To see a birthday you never thought you'd make it to

To graduate from school

To see your wounds from self-harm heal

To experience old age

To get married

To recover from your eating disorder

To experience independence

To start/complete your transition

To go on your first date

To get your first job

To adopt a child and give them the life that they deserve

To rescue a pet and give them a home

To purchase your first car

To rent/purchase your first house/apartment

To have your first child

To lose your virginity

To experience the joy of knowing you escaped/got through a bad situation

To eventually publish your own book/art piece/etc.

Miscellaneous

To finally get diagnosed with something important

So if nothing else, you can still say you survived

You have a bucket list you'd like to complete

To live because you want to, not because others want you to

Comfort drinks with someone you love

You wrote a letter to yourself that you can't open until a certain date/birthday

Those rare and valuable pieces of media with good representation of a minority/marginalised group.

To read through past conversations with people and cringe/laugh/cry.

All the different foods you've yet to try

To see the world become more accommodating to those who need it

To watch the seasons change

To celebrate the holidays

For those days where you do feel okay, perhaps even good

To eventually replace the stuff in your closet with things that represent who you are now

To read back on journals and diaries you made when you were younger

If you are not in a place where any of these help, that's more than okay as well. It will be here if and when you ever need it. Being suicidal can be extremely lonely and scary and we all deal with it in different ways.

If you have your own reason and you feel comfortable sharing it with me, let me know via asks or DM and it will be added as soon as I can 💞

[buwheal]

a quick scribble of a scene from chapter 20 in this fic by @manofthepipis

(i really hope the colors are as bright to you guys as they are on my monitor lmao)

I NEED NEED NEED TO GUSH ABOUT THIS FIC RIHGT NOW HOLY SHIT

Never before have i actually sat down to read a REAL fanfic until yesterday (And today! I stopped at chapter 6 and read the rest today ^_^). I saw it in the tags of a spamton blog's art and decided to check it out since i had read a really short one without chapters on the site before but MAN was i not ready for this one!!! HOW COME NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT FANFICS????? I had always heard not so great things about fanfiction (and ive seen that most are ship based and I'm not really into ships with my favorite characters*) so I never really bothered to look, especially since I was usually more into the whole media rather than a specific character. (WHO LET ME GET AWAY WITH THIS??) I used to tease my friend for having 700+ videos saved on tiktok for their favorite actor, (but I TOTALLY GET IT NOW, I WOULD SO DO THAT IF I HAD TIKTOK) Until almost exactly a month ago I developed a hyperfixation on Spamton after learning who he was and watching Jerma's playthrough, and MAN it is SO FUN reading all the theories, headcanons, and peoples analyses of Spamton and his character/story I am totally hooked and I am SO SO SO SO glad this was the first real fanfiction ive read beacause IT IS GREAT!!!! AND I MEAN IT!!! THE CHARACTERIZATION IS SO GOOD AND I LOVE THE VIVID DISCRIPTIONS, I WAS SO SO SO EXCITED WHILE READING THIS ONE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ IT IF YOU HAVENT!!!!! I LOVE THE WAY THE CHARACTERS INTERACT AND OF COURSE I ABSOLUTELY LOVE SEEING THE HEADCANONS SPEWN THROUGHOUT!!! AAARGH EXPLODES EVERWHERE!!!! thank you SO SO SO SO much for writing this fic and i am SO going to read [[Data Recovering]]!!!

Link to the fanfiction :-)

[gardenerian]

TAG GAME! IT'S TIME FOR A TAG GAME! ty darling @creepkinginc @deedala and @energievie for this lovely walk down memory lane 🥰

how did you get into the fandom? i was here on tumblr for another fandom (shall not be named) when a friend reblogged a clip from s10. i had not kept up with shameless for a few seasons, but then i immediately rewatched and caught up... the rest is history!

how long have you been here? let's see - that was december 2019.... omg 😭 i have had this blog since 2017, and have been on tumblr on and off since 2010 tho askdhf i live here 🏡

what's the first fandom channel you found? (youtube, reddit, tumblr, insta, twitter, FB, other?) tumbles 4ever

what's your favourite now? see above 😇

which mutual have you known the longest in the fandom? i'm pretty sure it's @sickness-health-all-that-shit! one of the very first shameless blogs i followed, who for some reason decided to follow me back and i am forever grateful for my dearest rita 🥺

which tumblerinos did you have your first fandom crush(es) on and wanted to get to know? oh man so many! most of my early crushes are no longer active 😔 but they are so close to my heart always! but i also very much remember throwing my phone across a hotel room in excitement when i first saw @whatwouldmickeydo in my inbox ✨

first gallavich fan fic you read (or that blew you away that you remember)? always always always @palepinkgoat - i will never recover from my first reading of restoration.

first fan art that blew your mind? literally anything by @steorie!

fanfic trope that you were sure wasn't for you but now you low key (or high key) love? apparently i am really into the apocalypse askdfh

what surprised you most about this fandom? i think it's how... elastic (??) it is? like. maybe bc it was such a long running show, but i just love how the fandom grows and evolves over time. people are always welcome! whether they're brand new or are returning home... there's always excitement and love for everyone. it made my time away from the fandom bearable, knowing there was always a place for me to come back to when i was ready.

moment in the show (or YT vids if you're one of those) that you fell in hyperfixation with gallavich? 🗣 SORRY I'M LATE

ian or mickey? ian girlie (gender neutral) but i strongly feel you can't love one without the other!!!!

which gallagher or milkovich are you? oh. god. oh god i'm probably lip askdjlfh with the softness of one ian gallagher

TAGGING SOME BABIES

@metalheadmickey

@howlinchickhowl

@heymacy

@whatthebodygraspsnot

@heymrspatel

@gallawitchxx

@darlingian

@fionnagallagher

@rereadanon

@crossmydna

@callivich

@too-schoolforcool

@vintagelacerosette

@mickeym4ndy

@mickittotheman

@mmmichyyy

@sleepyfacetoughguy

@michellemisfit

and all the babes tagged above! 🍅

[whimsy-floof]

Holy shit my first real art post in literal years and it's a motherfuckin' crossover piece! FUCK YEAH!

Does this mean my burnout is finally gone? ...........eh, kinda.

OKAY! So A lot has been going on over the last....... SEVERAL years???

I won't go into it too much here, cuz I wanna actually talk about what I'm posting here.

So, Helluva Boss is a show I've been a fan of since episode 1.

A friend of mine and I have enjoyed nerding out about it every time a new episode drops, and Stolas is one of our favorite characters from the show.

Also, I've recently picked up a hyperfixation on the Game Grumps, and especially Dan Avidan, AKA Danny Sexbang.

I particularly really enjoy his music, from his comedy work in Ninja Sex Party and Starbomb to his more serious stuff in Skyhill and Shadow Academy to his collab cover almbums with the Super Guitar Brothers.

ANYWAY, so one day my friendo and I were flinging our obsessive nerdings at each other, and they were like "Imagine Danny Sexbang, but wearing Stolas' outfit."

And I was like, "Hmmm yes, but also consider.... Stolas... in Danny Sexbang's outfit?"

And then inspiration struck, and I had to make it real. SO I DID!

Here he is in all his glory! Stolas Sexbang!

The burnout I've been suffering for the last few years has been AWFUL, and it's so nice to finally be able to sit and do art without the consistent "UUUUGH" feeling that came with the burnout.

Does this mean I'll be posting more? No promises.

This just was a nice little burst of inspiration that I am glad to have been able to follow through on.

Guys, let me tell you it feels SO GOOD to finally have been able to do something like this again. I've been doing like random sketches here and there over the last few years, but nothing post worthy.

This was the first actual project I've been able to get myself to do, and it felt so good.

For a long time, I was feeling like I was never going to recover from this burnout, and I was about ready to give up hoping for it.

But this... Gave me so much relief. You have no idea.

All this to say I can't say I've fully recovered from my burnout, but I can at least say that I've finally started to.

[datastate]

Can you please tell me more about disabled  Qtaros, Kanna and gin(this is very much related to that one post.) I’m very interested!

of course!! thank you so much for taking interest :D though i put the gist on that reference above, i'll dive into more detail here!!

Q-TARO:

Although in-game Q-taro's been given the doll joints to replace his major injury, I do have a few personal headcanons from before that incident - namely, that he had a weak right leg from bullying (which he was predisposed to thanks to other developmental issues). This caused a life-long limp, with the occasional pain, but it was never enough that he felt withheld from sports! Asunaro still implemented something in the doll joint that would make it so that he wasn't left overcorrecting his gait. However, if Asunaro hadn't interfered, he would've eventually recovered naturally. While he can still keep in pace with his team for the most part and retains his endurance, toward the start of him being released from the hospital, there are times where he ends up staying on bench until he's called up for the final stretch as a batter - just to help him readjust & keep the pain from overwhelming him if he was up as a starter. This would be where Q-taro finally gets a cane to help him post-game if he's exerted himself too much (it usually takes a couple hours for the pain to really become more than 'annoying'; adrenaline helps to off-set it until the games end, at least). After some convincing (and prodding) from his closer friends, I imagine he'd be a bit more willing to continue physical therapy to help with managing pain/building up endurance again (safely). It's by no means perfect, and there are some hurdles to overcome in terms of figuring out his new boundaries, but he can do it! :] From here, he does also end up occasionally using the wheelchair when casually traveling with friends on much longer distances / on bad pain days. It's more inconvenient and obvious than using the cane, but his friends are good about not making him feel weird about it. At most, they'll just tease him about themselves finally being taller than him; it's all light-hearted attempts at making him feel more comfortable. At the end of the day, they're just happy Q-taro's here. ...also not pictured here, but it does also take some getting used to being essentially blind in his left eye. The depth perception is something he also works on, but he somewhat struggles on his own out on the field; he ends up pairing with someone else. It's usually easier being on shortstop because of the surrounding people, but as long as he's got back-up he can be sent further out into the field.

GIN:

Gin had some issues with how his legs were developing. It took a few years for his mother to notice due to how busy work kept her, but when he was more evidently failing to hit the typical movement milestones, that was when she brought it up. His left leg is the weaker one and the one he usually didn't use when crawling because the bone alignment was causing him pain; as he grew up, they kept him in physical therapy to work on this, and his mother favored a leg brace rather than any surgery. As he was still young, there was a chance to correct this without needing to go to those lengths, especially as she feared 1) the cost and 2) the idea that this would just hurt Gin more. Gin feels a bit guilty that his mother was so worried about him in these early years. This is, in part, why he's so insistent on proving how strong he's grown to his mother and will take on more responsibility than he's meant to, if it means she won't have to worry about himself or his step-father. ...Well! At least he gets to pick out the designs for his leg brace :] He usually swaps between different animal-themed ones to represent his current hyperfixation (in this case, he'd have an alligator themed one as of the Death Game), but I usually draw him with the paw print pattern because it's one that's really important to him! Gin specifically got this pattern to match with Mew-chan :D This is also somewhat related, though it isn't to do with the leg brace: Gin is very sensitive to loud noise/voices, hence the noise-cancelling headphones... at least to subdue the sounds. In terms of interacting with other participants, I do think Gin would have trouble talking with Alice. Whereas Q-taro is used to lowering his voice for kids who need it (and can usually catch the visual cues for it) and Reko understands the need for a certain 'level' of noise (though hers is usually that she needs something blasting because of her hyposensitivity; depending on each other's levels, they might not be able to talk very long, but they'll talk later!!) ... Alice meanwhile has difficulty managing the volume/forcefulness of his voice. In my headcanons, Alice needs hearing aids - this, and his autism, often makes it difficult to keep that "appropriate volume or tone of voice" but he does make an effort for Gin's sake :] I've also mentioned it in more detail here, but I do think Gin would really look up to Q-taro for how he perseveres. Even if Q-taro handles pain well enough for the most part, only partially using his mobility aids, it's still very important knowing that this successful adult has that side of him too. It gives Gin more hope, and also provides a healthy masculine role model.

KANNA:

Similarly to her brother, Kanna is chronically ill. More specifically, I imagine she has been recognized with iron-deficient anemia - cause for (some) dizziness and lead up to fainting. This, combined with postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, does not make for a fun combination as you can imagine... but her family is working on figuring this out for her :'] The cane helps her mostly with keeping balance, though she also eventually adds little charms to it keep her hands busy so she doesn't tear at the hem of her uniform or pick at her skin too much. Although Kanna, similarly to Q-taro, doesn't need her cane at all times and can even play games without it, she feels more comfortable having it around as a 'just in case'! This is partly why Kugie walks home with Kanna. While it began for safety's sake (since Kanna was very young), her sister being there when she fainted was actually how the Kizuchi family began to realize the severity of these symptoms and look into it for her! Although Kanna tends to downplay her symptoms because she doesn't want people worrying about her, she really is grateful that they are trying to help her. Even though it took a while for Kugie to warm up to Kanna, it was always nice seeing her sister look out for her in even the smallest ways (offering food (like the ice-cream, where the 'ice' of it helps nausea); setting up the iron supplements before they start preparing the meals (so Kanna can take it the hour in advance); so on!) On a personal level, Kanna honestly isn't too bothered by having this. It's frustrating sometimes, yes, but generally speaking... she takes it slow anyway, and always has. Walking home, she will stop by the parks or some people's gardens just to take a look; she'll sit down on a bench and just listen to everything before finally setting on homework; she just really enjoys existing in nature. Unlike Kugie, who could scale a mountain in a day, Kanna is content just lying down in the grass - but that doesn't mean she's not up for racing her sister...! :P (Side note: while the issues with 'balance' and such isn't canon, I do think it is interesting that - through the few times we've seen someone faint - both Shin and Kanna have been the ones who take a while to recover...)

[faresong]

disabled headcanons ^_^

Q-TARO:

Although in-game Q-taro's been given the doll joints to replace his major injury, I do have a few personal headcanons from before that incident - namely, that he had a weak right leg from bullying (which he was predisposed to thanks to other developmental issues). This caused a life-long limp, with the occasional pain, but it was never enough that he felt withheld from sports! Asunaro still implemented something in the doll joint that would make it so that he wasn't left overcorrecting his gait. However, if Asunaro hadn't interfered, he would've eventually recovered naturally. While he can still keep in pace with his team for the most part and retains his endurance, toward the start of him being released from the hospital, there are times where he ends up staying on bench until he's called up for the final stretch as a batter - just to help him readjust & keep the pain from overwhelming him if he was up as a starter. This would be where Q-taro finally gets a cane to help him post-game if he's exerted himself too much (it usually takes a couple hours for the pain to really become more than 'annoying'; adrenaline helps to off-set it until the games end, at least). After some convincing (and prodding) from his closer friends, I imagine he'd be a bit more willing to continue physical therapy to help with managing pain/building up endurance again (safely). It's by no means perfect, and there are some hurdles to overcome in terms of figuring out his new boundaries, but he can do it! :] From here, he does also end up occasionally using the wheelchair when casually traveling with friends on much longer distances / on bad pain days. It's more inconvenient and obvious than using the cane, but his friends are good about not making him feel weird about it. At most, they'll just tease him about themselves finally being taller than him; it's all light-hearted attempts at making him feel more comfortable. At the end of the day, they're just happy Q-taro's here. ...also not pictured here, but it does also take some getting used to being essentially blind in his left eye. The depth perception is something he also works on, but he somewhat struggles on his own out on the field; he ends up pairing with someone else. It's usually easier being on shortstop because of the surrounding people, but as long as he's got back-up he can be sent further out into the field.

GIN:

Gin had some issues with how his legs were developing. It took a few years for his mother to notice due to how busy work kept her, but when he was more evidently failing to hit the typical movement milestones, that was when she brought it up. His left leg is the weaker one and the one he usually didn't use when crawling because the bone alignment was causing him pain; as he grew up, they kept him in physical therapy to work on this, and his mother favored a leg brace rather than any surgery. As he was still young, there was a chance to correct this without needing to go to those lengths, especially as she feared 1) the cost and 2) the idea that this would just hurt Gin more. Gin feels a bit guilty that his mother was so worried about him in these early years. This is, in part, why he's so insistent on proving how strong he's grown to his mother and will take on more responsibility than he's meant to, if it means she won't have to worry about himself or his step-father. ...Well! At least he gets to pick out the designs for his leg brace :] He usually swaps between different animal-themed ones to represent his current hyperfixation (in this case, he'd have an alligator themed one as of the Death Game), but I usually draw him with the paw print pattern because it's one that's really important to him! Gin specifically got this pattern to match with Mew-chan :D This is also somewhat related, though it isn't to do with the leg brace: Gin is very sensitive to loud noise/voices, hence the noise-cancelling headphones... at least to subdue the sounds. In terms of interacting with other participants, I do think Gin would have trouble talking with Alice. Whereas Q-taro is used to lowering his voice for kids who need it (and can usually catch the visual cues for it) and Reko understands the need for a certain 'level' of noise (though hers is usually that she needs something blasting because of her hyposensitivity; depending on each other's levels, they might not be able to talk very long, but they'll talk later!!) ... Alice meanwhile has difficulty managing the volume/forcefulness of his voice. In my headcanons, Alice needs hearing aids - this, and his autism, often makes it difficult to keep that "appropriate volume or tone of voice" but he does make an effort for Gin's sake :] I do think Gin would really look up to Q-taro for how he perseveres. Even if Q-taro handles pain well enough for the most part, only partially using his mobility aids, it's still very important knowing that this successful adult has that side of him too. It gives Gin more hope, and also provides a healthy masculine role model.

KANNA:

Similarly to her brother, Kanna is chronically ill. More specifically, I imagine she has been recognized with iron-deficient anemia - cause for (some) dizziness and lead up to fainting. This, combined with postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, does not make for a fun combination as you can imagine... but her family is working on figuring this out for her :'] The cane helps her mostly with keeping balance, though she also eventually adds little charms to it keep her hands busy so she doesn't tear at the hem of her uniform or pick at her skin too much. Although Kanna, similarly to Q-taro, doesn't need her cane at all times and can even play games without it, she feels more comfortable having it around as a 'just in case'! This is partly why Kugie walks home with Kanna. While it began for safety's sake (since Kanna was very young), her sister being there when she fainted was actually how the Kizuchi family began to realize the severity of these symptoms and look into it for her! Although Kanna tends to downplay her symptoms because she doesn't want people worrying about her, she really is grateful that they are trying to help her. Even though it took a while for Kugie to warm up to Kanna, it was always nice seeing her sister look out for her in even the smallest ways (offering food (like the ice-cream, where the 'ice' of it helps nausea); setting up the iron supplements before they start preparing the meals (so Kanna can take it the hour in advance); so on!) On a personal level, Kanna honestly isn't too bothered by having this. It's frustrating sometimes, yes, but generally speaking... she takes it slow anyway, and always has. Walking home, she will stop by the parks or some people's gardens just to take a look; she'll sit down on a bench and just listen to everything before finally setting on homework; she just really enjoys existing in nature. Unlike Kugie, who could scale a mountain in a day, Kanna is content just lying down in the grass - but that doesn't mean she's not up for racing her sister...! :P (Side note: while the issues with 'balance' and such isn't canon, I do think it is interesting that - through the few times we've seen someone faint - both Shin and Kanna have been the ones who take a while to recover...)

[mrhyde-mrseek]

(ED MENTION!)

Been rewatching Scooby Doo Mystery Inc. and hyperfixating on small town gothic mystery aesthetics, so here’s my version of the gang if I were to write my own adaptation:

Fred

19, engineering major

6’2”

Autistic

His special interest is traps

Asexual and biromantic, he/him

In a pre-established relationship with Daphne, they’re a ride-or-die couple and can sometimes be sappy to the point that they gross the others out

The heart of the group, brought everyone together, is usually the one to cool down arguments

Decent at cooking but REALLY good at baking

Gets ascots from Daphne every year for his birthday

Knew Velma a little in high school, mainly from physics and math but never got to actually know her until college

Got the Mystery Machine from a sketchy car dealer when he turned 16 and loves the old rust bucket to death

Velma:

18, forensics science major, minor in history

4’11”

Also autistic, self-diagnosed because it’s really hard to get a diagnosis

Lesbian and genderqueer, she/they

Had a crush on Daphne a few years ago, but when Daphne and Fred got together she forced herself to ignore it until it eventually went away

LOVES true crime podcasts, kinda wants to start their own one day

Super blunt and sarcastic, can sometimes come off as rude to the people who don’t know them that well

Struggled with an eating disorder for a while, Shaggy helped her recover and now they’re best friends

Tech wiz

Daphne:

19, fashion design major

5’6”

Pan, she/her

Grew up in a wealthy family with four older sisters, was always pressured by her parents to fit their image of perfection, so she eventually started deliberately doing things to piss them off

Starting a relationship with Fred was the breaking point and now she doesn’t talk to them (she still keeps in touch with her sisters, though)

Natural blonde, dyes her hair

The most athletic out of all of them, used to do gymnastics and dance throughout middle school and high school

Quit when she realized how much it was negatively affecting her body image

Hates when people assume she’s ditzy just because she’s hyperfeminine

Looks mean at first, is actually super sweet

Fascinated with ghosts and cryptids

Loves ‘80s and ‘90s Heathers-inspired fashion

Shaggy:

20, culinary arts major but was undecided for a while

5’9”

Aroace, he/him

Mix of hippie and grunge aesthetic

Definitely smokes weed

Loves ‘70s and ‘80s music

Has a panic disorder, ADHD, and dyslexia

Has seen every classic horror movie to ever exist despite being terrified of them

Everyone assumes the Mystery Machine belongs to him until someone in the Mystery Gang corrects them

Will eat basically any type of food you put in front of him

Shitty relationship with his parents since they have unreachable expectations for him and constantly compare him to his classmates and cousins

Scooby:

Shaggy’s psychiatric service “dog”

Not actually a dog—in reality he’s an alien who crash-landed near Shaggy’s house and took the form of a Great Dane, the Rogers got him trained as a service dog for Shaggy’s panic disorder, and the rest is history

Shaggy still has no idea (although he and the gang do think it’s weird that Scoob can talk)

Despite being a bit of a coward he’d do anything to protect the gang, especially Shaggy

Likes horror movies just as much as Shaggy

Will eat literal garbage if hungry enough (which is all the time)

Started developing doglike traits over the years (barks at people walking by, hates the vacuum, developed a taste for dog treats, etc.)

Also here’s the full body photos i drew:

[gimmickverse-fanfic]

Chapter One- Thunder

@intothegimmickverseofficial

The thunder crackled.

Even as they looked up, even as they saw the sky darken, even as they felt the rain pour on their body, through their skin, through their bones.

Neptune didn't move until Moon called for him to return to the house. It was getting late, and hyperthermia could easily set in at a time like this.

At least they weren't home alone. While Stanley and Chell joked about Identify's latest hyperfixation- and whether or not she would ever figure it out- Neptune was led to sit down.

Moon left to get Identify before trotting to her bedroom. Barely glancing back, Moon cast a quick scan of the room to find it in stable condition for now. A sight confused her and stalled her steps, but she quickly recovered and left again.

Though they weren't supposed to be home for a while, Jollibee was watching SCP Threats on the laptop, clicking away their fingers as though the world would shatter if they were any less than five hundred words per minute. Knowing their job, that might be a truer statement then it should be.

"Heya," Jollibee walked over to the SCP, "You're home early..." Pause, "What are you doing?"

"Writing a file." Turning around, SCP leaned back in their chair, raisng an eyebrow as Tesco ran out of the kitchen. "Why?"

"Why are you home so early?" Jollibee hadn't meant to sound so accusatory. SCP looked up and immediately turned the laptop off.

"Because I got sent back before the rain fell."

"Ah." There was silence for a short while, save for the fire crackling.

Barely a second later, Identify ran out and wrapped Neptune in a blanket. Jollibee let their eyes follow the footsteps.

"You shouldn't be out so late, and in the rain too!" Identify fussed, fluffing a pillow behind Neptune, "You should've been home HOURS ago!"

"Yeah, yeah," Neptune paused, "I was... distracted."

"Distracted doing what?" Stanley leaned in.

"Organ sacrifice." Neptune mused.

"Hey, that was AGES ago!"

"Still happened." Neptune laughed before turning back to Identify, leaving Chell to bully Stanley over the aforementioned organs.

"Well," Jollibee paused, "suppose I go check on Moon and Sun?" They went upstairs without another word, SCP failing to have the heart to tell them that Sun and Moon were not, in fact, upstairs.

Jollibee found Callisto in her room.

"Feeding your snake?" Jollibee sat down next to Callisto. Jollibee found their eyes taking a while to adjust.

"What?" She jumped. "Oh, no, that was an hour ago." Callisto looked dreadful, a dreary look making their eyes as dull as the walls in the gloom.

"But," Jollibee was cut off by the snake slithering around him, "Ah, should've known it's out."

Castillo didn't bother looking out the window again, staring at the snake curling around her friend. The stars twinkled behind them, making a picture perfect painting of reality's darkness.

Even as they talked, as the snake whispered, Tesco took Jollibee's place downstairs.

"I think you need to taste this for me," SCP said. They shoved the exquisite pasta bowl in their friend's direction.

Tesco blinked. "Um."

"What, you'd rather your deity be poisoned?" SCP laughed. They would never give up that joke and that was final, according to deadly amounts of their friends.

Of course not, SCP had many enemies so you could never be too careful. Tesco hesitantly took a mouthful, only to practically melt in satisfaction. "Oh my god." It was amazing. He caught himself. "I... I think it's fine."

"You should try a sip of the tea too," SCP said, tilting their head. "Just to be safe. Sit down." Pulling out a chair, Tesco accepted the warm tea with a smile.

It took Tesco slightly too long to realize that it was practically a date, with the foundationer feeding him delicacies off their plate.

Stanley turned away from the two, laughing about their idiocies with Chell.

"They're not the first to do that." Chell mused.

"Hmm?" Stanley was barely paying attention.

"They aren't the first to do that."

"Do what?" Stanley smiled, although she'd rather do anything else right now.

"Pretend they're friends while they fall head over heels for each other." Chell turned to look upstairs.

Stanley sighed. "What's your point?"

"My point is, you're slow in both speed and conversation. However, wisdom can chase you, and you're still faster. Makes you think."

"Thanks?" Stanley paused. "Waaaaait."

Chell was already running for the kitchen as Stanley sliced a knife out of her pocket and through the gap of Chell from three seconds ago. "Return, coward!" Stanley laughed.

Tinder watched Chell run into the kitchen while he took some muffins out of the oven. Earth could barely stop Chell from falling flat on her face before she was already up and running again, out of the door. The room erupted into laughter. Until...

The thunder crackled.

[sammy--moh]

A random ramble about my identity, modern queer community and queer history bc I'm hyperfixated

(I don't want slur discourse under my post. I reclaim words that have been directly used to oppress me only and only towards myself, that's where the conversation ends)

(Cis/Hets don't touch this post

Terfs especially don't even look at this post

Anti kink fuckers don't look at this post, kink and LGBT are separate things but you cannot untangle kink history from queer/LGBT history

If your against the use of the word queer, don't clown on this post

Queer cis people are free to interact and add their opinions but don't clown on this post

Trans people and queer punks and activists please interact <3

Any corrections are welcomed as long as their constructive)

So you could probably find a few posts of me talking about some of my more modern and neo/xeno identity labels, its something I'm fairly proud of I'm a neo pronoun user and have been out as a nonbinary man for a long time

But I don't think I talk about my more, I guess classical and older queer labels and that feels disingenuous because I do still love queer history and have a lot of what would be considered ""outdated"" identieies

Yeah I'm a neo user and have some xeno gender labels, and I'm T4T which as far as I know is a label thats been around a long time but its still common and normally used today

But im also just a gender nonconformist(sometimes i use and reclaim the words transexual and transvestite just to piss off cis people who say i cant), i unapolgetically reclaim the word f4g, im in the leather community, I'm a fem man, im a cub, all things that have been around maybe since the 60s - 70s that I/still/ find connection to, comfort and community in

I mean hell I usually consider myself to currently be in a masc 4 fem relationship which you'd probably never guess by just looking at me

Which is another thing! Why is it always assumed that cubs and bears are the mascs?? I think I have more traditionally feminine clothing and presentation then most of my twink friends, I am a big, fat, extroverted, hairy cub and I am still the fem in one of my relationships and very feminine and fem presenting in general

Obviously masc 4 fem is not the only kind of mlm and wlm relationship that's stupid sndnd and expecting it is heteronormative, some people are masc 4 masc,fem 4 fem, heck not everyone /likes/ traditional masc fem labels and that's awesome!

Another thing I don't see a lot of people talk about is the fact that the bear and cub community is objectively a body positivity movement, that's what it started as that's what it always will be

Bear culture was a reaction to the beauty standards of gay culture at the time, when the ideal in gay relationships were young, thin, conventionally attractive gay and bi/multisexual men

Bear culture was specifically made to appreciate, lift up, and love large, hairy,sometimes older gay and bi/multsexual men and cub culture branched off from bears

I'm gonna be honest, I am recovering from a few body image issues and disorders that I wont go in depth on, and bear + cub culture has helped me to love myself and my body and find myself attractive more than any other body positivity space! Not to say other body positvity spaces arent important and needed, but that as a queer trans man this one has been the space I felt the most welcomed in

I wish there were a few expectations we could leave behind, like the idea that bears and cubs only date other bears and cubs, that terms like bear, twink, otter, leather gay, ect are gay exclusive and not just mlm and nwlnw terms, that fem and masc culture are gay and lesbian exclusive (dont come at me there are several moments in history we see these terms used by bi and generally queer men and that show masc and fem culture in bi and generally queer spaces)

I wish I could find more people like me in history, trans men who weren't masc, transmen and transmascs that were unapologetically feminine, I want to find transman queens in history, trans gay and mlm men, it's hard to find.. but I'm almost positive there has to be at least some people like me in queer history

But in general there's so much we can learn and keep from older queer culture that I feel has been lost a lot with younger generations

I love modern queer culture and neo/xeno labels and communities ans MOGAI and the breakdown of gender norms and sexual expectations

But im also unapolgetically a fem, leather loving, kinkster, trans fucking, fat cub, cross dressing faggot

All of these things are me

You cannot untangle or separate these identieies and labels from /me/

There are riots and loss in my history, and there is raw, unapolgetic queer beauty as well. there is pride in my veins, and fight in my lungs, and I wouldn't trade any of it for shit

[lesbian-duck-art]

Sorry if this is annoying!

Do you have any specific headcanons about sdmi?

Oh my god you’re not annoying at all!!😭 I love talking to you you’re so good! I have a few here and there so let me put them down here. so sorry a lot of this is E or Angel related!

- E has so many issues in regards to relationships whether it be romantic or otherwise. Pericles’ betrayal and being forced to leave everything and one he’d ever known at 17 did a lot of damage and I don’t think he’s ever fully recovered. It’s the reason he pushes people, including Cassidy, away. Because of his childhood best friend who he cared immensely for could betray him, why couldn’t everyone else? He’s definitely got PTSD and I feel like if he didn’t already, now has a severe anxiety disorder

- We don’t see a whole lot of Ed Machine in the series nor do we know a lot about him but I think he was closer to E and Angel than people tend to assume. Whether that means they were friends or polycule, I take either one lol

- I think Nibiru’s curse has a waaaay harder time affecting people who have someone they love. Whether that be familial, romantic, or even friendship. There is no love within the original Mystery Incorporated and they fall to shreds. MI II on the other hand comes back together through their love for one another. Marcie is able to break free of the curse because of Velma, Mayor Jones temporarily breaks free because despite the lie he does love and care about Fred, E loses both Ed and Angel one after the other and he becomes worse until he realizes Angel is gone.

- That in mind: I do think Jones cared about Fred. I think sans curse, he would’ve been a better dad and I see parts of Post-Nibiru Timeline/Sitting Room Jones peak through in both seasons. There’s a one shot fic on AO3 about him in the episode with that art monster? Highly recommend it and it’s exactly how I view him as a character

- While on the topic of Fred Jones Sr., I feel like his time in jail and away from the Planispheric disk weakened the curse’s hold. Not by a lot certainly, but by a tiny bit. I think the closer you get to the pieces the more corrupt you become

- I truly think that if things were different and E had let his walls down and interacted with the kids the way Angel did, I think the mystery inc gang would’ve gotten along with him the same way they do Angel! (This is part of why I enjoy Purposefully Silent so much lol it gives me exactly what I wish the show had) I still think everything would have gone to shit one way or another but

- We been knew that Fred is autistic but I also raise that like. All of Mystery Inc is somewhere between autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD(I say this as someone who is autistic and possibly AuDHD). With this I also think Ricky is neurodivergent

- Angel is pan, E is Bi, Daphne and Fred are also bi, I think Shaggy is pan and maybe even aro, Marcie and Velma are both lesbians. I also honestly think there’s n o t h i n g about E that screams “cisgender” but I can never decide if my answer is trans man or “he/him/they/them” non-binary

- Jones and Sheriff Stone *abso-fucking-lutely* had something going on there was nothing heterosexual present. Jones is giving gay man who’s over compensating via toxic masculinity and Sheriff Stone just seems to be into Crystal Cove Mayors

- Birds were Ricky’s hyperfixation after he met Professor Pericles. He knew all the different facts and terminology and everything. He still remembers most of it(mostly unwillingly), but it’s never relevant anymore

- I’ve said it once I’ll say it again I just think E gives off dad vibes in a way I can’t explain and this is why the Velma is Ricky and Cassidy’s daughter AU is one of my favorites and one I wanna do a fic for

I don’t want to make this too long so I’ll stop here but you’re not annoying and I’m actually so glad you asked!😭 I am always down to talk about this show and you already know I enjoy talking to you lol I feel I’m very bad at expressing my head canons so I hope this is okay!

[porcelain-flower]

Hey guys it's Esther, formerly feitansporcelaindoll. I know I've been away for awhile. Something happened and I wasn't sure if I should make a life update but here it is. Well for starters, I was being accused of some heinous things and because of that I deleted my tumblr.

I was busy dealing with life and my marriage. August of '23 I logged back in, messaged a certain Feitan mutual to ask how they were doing, only for them to essentially say "people said you're a groomer, so I can't talk to you anymore. Bye" and was promptly blocked. So I messaged ANOTHER mutual asking for clarification and was immediately blocked by them as well. Needless to say I was completely confused and caught off guard. Even though I was bored and pretty much done with the HxH fandom, I WAS going to keep my page active for those who enjoyed my content. But these people ruined that. So my page is gone and I will not be making any further content. In truth it was a hyperfixation, an escape from my abusive marriage. But now I'm in a healthy relationship and I don't need an escape.

Yes while you were busy accusing me, I was dealing with my narcisstic, emotionally and sexually abusive, gaslighting husband of 7 years.

And for the record, groomers abuse, manipulate and exploit. I NEVER did that to anyone.

No. It was happening to me.

While you were accusing me, I was dealing with my abuser. And I was scared every minute. He was narcissistic and controlling, to the point that he forbade me from getting tattoos or even cutting my hair. He gaslit me and constantly tried to coerce me and demand sex, despite my refusals. Seven years I dealt with this. Eventually I found the courage to leave him. The day I did, he had followed me to the store beforehand. I packed some essentials and found a friend's house to stay at. I was there for only a week because he found out who I was staying with and starting texting them and dropping off unwanted gifts at the house. So I found somewhere new to stay. I went back to my ex's house one weekend, when I knew he'd be gone, to get most of my stuff. I was terrified so I had my best friend come with. Then my ex came home unexpectedly. I wasn't going to risk being alone with him so I kept her by my side at all times.

But he wouldn't let me grab my belongings in peace. He put his arm between me and the doorway, stopped me from leaving and forced me to talk to him when all I wanted to do was grab my stuff and go.

Finally I got away and moved back to my home state. But the fear was still there. Every time I saw a car that resembled his, I froze thinking he'd followed me again.

I couldn't even give him my real address or phone number. That's how terrified I was of contact with him. I still am.

The day I got the last of my belongings, my ex made it very clear he wasn't letting me go so easily.

You don't know how terrifying it truly is to be married to someone you don't want to be with anymore and they're refusing to let you go. You do not know what real manipulation looks like.

A year after I had left him, he messaged again, asking if I was ready to come home. It took him a few more months to realize I wasn't coming back.

This is what I endured while you were spreading lies about me.

And I'm not playing dumb or playing victim. I have NO IDEA what I said or did that made people think this of me. And who did I supposedly groom?

Unfortunately we live in a world of guilty until proven innocent. And no one was mature enough to message me, show me proof, or let me know what was going on or being said about me so I couldn't even defend myself at the time.

Well there's no coming back once you've been accused, even falsely accused. I won't be active on here. This will be my only post. I'm locked out of my instagram fan page because I cant recover my password. I still have my personal page for those who knew me well enough to message me there. But I won't do fandoms or fan pages ever again.

The two people I talked to the longest and trusted the most were the fastest to accuse me and block me. Funny how that works.

And Hxytun I do wonder why you deleted all your Fei content as well. I was nothing but a friend to you. I listened to every rant, good or bad. Every conversation about your parents, your brother, you move across states.

Excalibur/feitansblood you're no better. You were a petrified little highschooler so I did my best to listen and give you advice because I knew how hard HS was for me. I was only ever a friend, to BOTH of you. And this is how you repay me. You yourself literally called me "mom" because I gave you advice like a mom would. Although I should've known you wouldn't have my back, seeing as you're pretty much Hxytun's lapdog and do anything they say. It's sad really. Also the fact you've been lying about your age on your accounts is shitty. Even a couple years ago when you were 15 you had your age listed as 19 so you could view explicit content. That's called catfishing btw.

But my heartfelt thanks to those who believed me and supported me. Makes me have a little more faith in humanity.

[a-route-up-if-i-fall]

assassins creed headcanons

idc how backed these r by actual canon btw. if u have a different view of these characters, that's completely okay. that's great, even. i'm just sharing mine ._.

altaïr is autistic. he fidgets a lot in private/when he's not "working." when he's ab to assassinate someone, he's hyper-focused and gets almost obsessive about every detail. his life as an assassin is his special interest and he has a waxing and waning hyperfixation on greek philosophy, specifically empedocles. he's demisexual and in love w malik. switch but always ends up bottoming.

ezio is obviously a slut. he likes to refer to himself as a playboy, and some ppl see him as a bit of a womaniser, but in reality he is literally out to give ppl a good time. in that way, he is a little whore of a man. pansexual. non committal but deeply loyal to his friends and fellow assassins.

connor likes to pretend he is stoic but i feel as though he is just shy and socially awkward. he desperately wants to understand the templars, but he finds it so difficult to sympathise with them after everything. i hope he kills colonisers for fun.

edward is secretly (or not so much) into men but refuses to admit it. he's a pirate so he knows all ab buggering let's just b honest. jim gave him like the fright of his life bc he thought he might actually be falling for a man so when she told him she was mary, he had mixed emotions. first, disappointed. next, oh thank jaysus i'm straight. that was not something he was ready to confront.

shay is fucking depressed and has issues w moral perfectionism. he wants to be good but wonders how he can b if he remains loyal to the assassins. he's also secretly not sure if the templars are in the right but thinks siding with them is the way to helping the most ppl. ambition is his fatal flaw. he regrets that things w the brotherhood ended as they did.

arno has an addictive personality. canonically, he's struggled w booze and gambling, but i think it's something that he is constantly fighting. he thought he would never be sober again after élise died, but surprisingly he found that drinking didn't bring him any comfort. he was just empty :(( he is also transmasc and i will not be elaborating.

jacob has adhd (though doesn't know the term for it obviously). one way he manages it is through exercise. so whenever he feels especially unfocused or irritable, he just freeruns the rooftops of london or finds someone to train with/fight. i can't help but imagine him as the jocks at school who ARE allies and would do anything to stand up for his queer friends but says problematic shit sometimes bc he just doesn't know the correct terms or anything. (edit: at the time of posting this i didn't know that he is canonically bisexual. as far as i can tell it was only made clear by one post from ubisoft. and i am disappointed in myself for not realising that. i feel like this is a part of a bigger issue of ambiguous queer storytelling especially in video games. it should have been far more explicit imo. but i'm always happy to see more gay rep)

evie wants to travel. she secretly writes poetry and doesn't show it to anyone. she studies latin for fun. she's really really good at maths actually. she was a bit of a snitch as a kid, but then she grew up and learnt it was better to just keep quiet about stuff she wasn't meant to see. she's a simp.

aya/amunet died before bayek. he had to recover her body from the roman hidden ones. he made sure that she had the best embalmers, a lavish burial chamber. and when he died, the community made sure they were buried together. back in the day, the chamber held scrolls that spoke of amun, with images of sekhmet and horus lining the walls. an earthquake left the tomb in the state u see it in in origins. they're buried not far from the necropolis that holds khemu's body.

kassandra loved her immortality initially. she spent her days doing impulsive things just because she could. only they got stale after a while. the fear of being alone for an unknown amount of time overcame her as she started losing people. until we get to valhalla and she learns that maybe it's okay not to be alone always, but feels like she always has to keep moving.

eivor is gender fluid. she eventually loses her eye, like odin, and despises how it makes her look like him. she never had children. ik that she's canonically into men however i feel its more comphet than genuine attraction. she ends up w randvi.

[bluescreenli]

1,2,3,6,7, 8 and 20 for Joker, Akechi and Sumi!

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

Joker: peak gender. he's just a silly funny little guy. a little goofball. a fool. you can even say he's a— a— a jok— [gets shot]

Akechi: HOO BOY be glad i am fresh off exams and brain fried and also not currently hyperfixated on p5 rn because the way i can ramble in circles about this guy. just. him being a foil to every phantom thief in some way, the commentary on the abuse children born out of wedlock face (especially in Japan), and. augh. he is a fascinating character because he has his shit together enough to be competent but not quite enough to realize that maybe his self-destruction isn't quite healthy. also third semester my beloved. there is something just so. deeply poetic about February 2nd. like. Akechi's sacrifice in Shido's palace was entirely on his own terms. he was finally doing something completely with his own agency. that decision was the first time he was completely and totally in control of his own life, and that is worth dying for. and then that's torn away from him in favor of some sweet saccharine reality where everyone is happy. sometimes i wonder if Maruki ever did anything for Akechi like he did for everyone else (besides bring him back from the dead). like. where is bro at in his free time. i've seen theories floating around that he avoids home because of his revived mother. which also brings me to the fact that Akechi sees LeBlanc as his home. man. i am now realizing that you can give a guy some anger issues and daddy issues and i will say they are my favorite character without hesitation. also yeah this man is not heterosexual.

Sumire: SUMIIIIIII MY GIRL. god you ever see a character on screen and go "haha that's me :D". cuz for me that was actually Makoto BUT Sumi is a very close second. i do think atlus bungled her execution a bit but that doesn't stop me from loving her. cuz like. yeah comparison is the thief of joy actually. especially when the object of comparison is someone close to you that you love a lot. some of Sumire's dialogue about her feelings toward Kasumi just. hit so fucking close to home. especially the "sometimes i even hated her. isn't that so awful of me?" (paraphrasing). girl i have been there and i Get It. it is rough. she was really relatable for me at the time so she is now blorbo from video game.

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

Joker: the faces and flourishes he does in the Metaverse. like slayyy king but also he is absolutely cringefail

Akechi: third semester portraits

Sumire: Cinderella theming!!!! yippeeeee!!!!

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

Joker: nitpicky gripe but the way the game handles his name being customizable is 😭. "this guy," "him" (with extra emphasis), like. please

Akechi: Vanilla P5 👍

Sumire: oh i have so many gripes about this one. i mentioned before that Atlus bungled the ball but the biggest one i have is her thief outfit. why does she look like Joker But Girl. like. let her have her own identity outside of the male protagonist that she gets a lot of shiptease with????? please??????

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

Joker: ok so this one time i told my irl friend group to psychoanalyze me based on my favorite characters and one of my friends said that i perform the image i think other people expect of me when i said Joker and i have never financially recovered

Akechi: daddy issues. anger issues. masking so much that i'm not sure who i really am anymore

Sumire: oh i talked about this one. uh haha yeah i also had a period in my life where i was depressed about not being able to compare to other people.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

Joker: i would like to thank the fans that address his trauma regarding police brutality, y'all doing god's work. also Joker's gender is. it exists (?). shoutout to the 5 gajillion gender headcanons that are all canon at the same time in my head

Akechi: the headcanon that he has shit eyesight is so fucking funny to me. imagine the pissbaby rant in Shido's palace but with "AND YOU DON'T EVEN NEED GLASSES WHILE I SPEND SO MUCH MONEY ON MY CONTACTS" tacked on at the end. also giving him longer hair

Sumire: redesigns of her thief outfit (and Vanadis)! and expansions on her friendships with the other thieves (especially Joker and Akechi!!!)

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

Joker: i need to put the phrase "he has no personality" on a shelf above where fans can reach

Akechi: ok, i love shuake as much as the next guy, but why is almost every Akechi fanwork i find focused on the ship. also stop saying his confidant is queerbait, what the fuck are y'all on

Sumire: i need to put the phrase "Mary Sue" on a shelf high, HIGH above where fans can reach. also can people be normal about her showing thighs in her thief outfit. actually, can people be normal about her in general

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

Joker: Ryuji!!!!!! they're bros!!!!!

Akechi: Yusuke. they'd be so autistic about literature and art together

Sumire: Ann! i think they match each other's energy pretty well

[cicaklah]

my girl @ronniebox tagged me and so here we go!

Rules: List ten books that have stayed with you in some way, don’t  take but a few minutes, and don’t think too hard - they don’t have to  be the “right” or “great” works, just the ones that have touched you.

Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman - my mother gave me this book to read when I was maybe 11, it was her copy that she had bought when Pratchett came and gave a reading at our local library in like, 1992. I'd say no book has been more formative to me, but in writing this I don't think thats true.

The City and the City by China Mieville - I got into Mieville through my girl @crimeandcricket, and was horribly traumatised by the body horror in perdido street station, and was way too influenced by his often pretentious writing style, but the city and the city is a masterpiece I'll never recover fully from and changed me for the better.

The Children's Hospital by Chris Adrian - I'm fairly sure no one but me loves this book, but it is also a book that multiple people stopped me when I was reading in public just from the cover image. My favourite kind of book is a book that can only be written by one person, and Adrian is a theologian and paediatrician, and this book uses every single one of his hyperfixations and also made me cry more than anything else.

The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster - Actually, this book probably did more to calcify my sense of humour than Pratchett did. The smartest, funniest, coolest children's book ever, and this has reminded me to get the tattoo of Tock on my wrist.

Ballet Shoes by Noel Streatfield - I read this every christmas morning as a treat to myself. I also adore White Boots, the ice skating book, but Ballet Shoes is such a perfect gem of a story that is the favourite of my grandmother, my mother and myself.

Shabanu/Daughter of the Wind by Suzanne Fisher Staples - The first book that made me cry, inspired my fondness for camels and was probably my first feminist awakening? I've only read one of the sequels, but it was so brutal I still haven't emotionally recovered entirely.

The Amateur Cracksman by E. W Hornung - my mastermind specialist subject, a book that consumed me across time and space, Raffles my beloved, Bunny my beloved, I remember the moment I read the first story and my life changed literally forever. The Black Mask and A Thief In The Night are also obviously amazing and really all three should be considered one book, but something in my life changed for the better when I read the line 'AJ Raffles would be my friend!' in The Ides of March and I realised oh no, they're mine now.

Exhalation by Ted Chiang - very hard for me to choose a Ted Chiang story so thankfully I will pick his second collection, which has The Life Cycle of Software Objects and also the one about the parrots. It does not have Hell is the Absence of God or stories of your life, but tbh, software objects was the first of his stories I ever read, so it deserves to be here, even if it guts me like a fish every time.

Rivals by Jilly Cooper - if I could have anyone's writing career, it would be Jilly Cooper's. Everytime I read this insane soap opera of a book it holds me hostage until I finish it, and its like 700 pages long. The most wonderfully 80s OTT sex farce about horrible people trying to buy an ITV franchise. I genuinely can't believe that disney plus are making it into a series.

The Years of Rice and Salt by Kim Stanley Robinson - One of his least famous books and yet I think his best? I had read the Mars books several times before I picked this up, but this alternate history where 90% of Europe are killed by the black death, following how world history changes through the eyes of characters who reincarnate but always find each other, somehow??? it grabbed me by the throat and never let go.

tell me YOUR formative texts pls @crimeandcricket @deputychairman @myth-blossom @skylightpirate @stickthisbig @apricotbones @postalninja @cajunandfire @within-infant-rind

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi cas! It’s Swiftie anon, happy tortured poets department release day eve! That was a mouthful lol. I’m so excited, this is my first release week, release day, etc, as part of the fandom that’s not a rerelease.

Yesterday it just hit me that the album was coming out, like it seemed so far away until yesterday. Idk if that’s bc I’ve been a little disconnected from all of it bc I have a new hyperfixation. It’s actually kind of sad, because I used to scroll on tumblr listening to Taylor, and I’ve heard people stop being so obsessed with things they need to cope once they feel better (I definitely am not done with being depressed) but I’m afraid of that happening if I do recover, and that shouldn’t be happening, because I should want to feel better, shouldn’t I?

it kind of felt like I was growing apart from a friend, but my hyperfixation got reawakened and Taylor Swift is the only thing in my brain.

but I’m kind of scared of that happening again, yk? Idk. This was supposed to be a sort of happy one, since there’s going to be a new Taylor album out in less than 12 hours and I haven’t been able to stop smiling all day.

anyway do you usually stay up for album releases? My parents are super strict, but it’s a half day and I have no school tomorrow and since I live in the Midwest the release is at 11 pm. The album should be around an hour long, so if I do, I’ll probably fall asleep at like 12:30, or 1. I really want to, bc then I’ll get spoiled when I get on tumblr the next morning. Idk, it depends on how I feel tonight.

I saw that you applied for 3 jobs last night, saying you’re nonbinary, congrats, I would say I’m proud of you, but I’m the one asking you for advice, um, idk how job applications work, but I hope you get a job you like. hope you’re feeling better, too!

long again, lol, but I usually talk to much about Taylor anyway.

Hi! <3 It's so good to hear from you! What do you think about TTPD so far? Were you as shook as I was about the double-drop?

I think the thing about hyperfixations is, (at least for me) you may move on from them a bit, but they never stop taking up a place in your heart. And a lot of times, they come back! But even if they don't, they'll always bring you a sense of comfort, and I think that's what a lot of people could say about Taylor. You may go through phases where you are obsessed with her or not, but her sings will always bring you comfort.

I hope that helps? Please tell me your thoughts about the album, I'm excited to hear what other people think!