#i aint tryna start nun

[wasteland-lover]

i had another dream with ochoa in it

[urfavnegronerd]

agape- nicholas britell

summary: miles is takin down ur braids 

published: july 27, 2023

warnings: Grammarly hates me, the patriarchy, a dash of toxic masculinity, miles being a product of that grrah grah boom type masculinity, aave (no im not translating shit for you yall got access to urban dictionary and its not really a warning), i edited it myself so lmk if there are any mistakes

sueñito- little dream, bonito- handsome/ pretty boy, no me importa- i don't care/ it's not important to me

w/c: 1.5 k

reader's black coded cus im black so deal w it <3

i think this something every black boy be needin deep down

“Stop movin, ma” 

“It’s knotty,” 

“You had these in for how long?” 

Silence. 

“There's your answer right there, mama,”  

“Sorry,” 

“Nun to be sorry for, just hold still,” 

Currently sitting on the bathroom floor criss-cross apple sauce, Miles was sitting on the toilet, your head between his knees, while he was taking down the frizzy lemonade braids that barely hugged your scalp anymore. 

“Miles?” 

He hums in response, rat tail comb in one hand, a tub of coconut oil in the other, threading the tail of the comb through the extensions down your back  

“You’re the prettiest boy in all of Brooklyn,” 

“Shut up” 

“Prettiest boy I’ve ever seen,” 

“Nuh-uh,” 

“Fuck you mean ‘nuh uh’? The little freckles all over your cheeks? Cutest things I’ve ever seen, especially how they’re all slightly different shades, like lil polka dots all over your face, gives me a map a’ where to kiss. The little tiny dimple on the left side of your face? Adorable, 10/10, no notes. Also very kissable." He's still now, staring at the back of your head, using bundles strewn over his shoulder, mouth agape. “Them thick and long ass eyelashes? I could stare at ‘em all day, they look like teeny tiny butterfly wings when you rest your eyes.” 

“Shut up,” he whispers, still unmoving, the little dab of coconut oil on his fingers slowly dribbling down his wrist 

“Your mind pretty as hell, too, I like listening to what you have to hear when you let me,” you mumble, pressing tiny kisses into his cargo pant–clad kneecap. 

“Stop doin that shit, ma” 

“What?” 

“Talkin all crazy like that,” 

“I’m not talkin crazy, miles I’m being honest,” 

“You makin me out to be some weak ass lil boy,” 

“Miles.” you turn around abruptly, staring at him dead in the eye. “I’m jus being honest wit you. What's going on?” 

“It’s nothin, ma, turn around”  

“Sueñito. Lemme know what's up,” 

“It’s nothin,” 

You huff, turning around to face the bottom of the sink again. Silence bellows throughout the bathroom, Miles rubbing oil on your braids to detangle them to later drag the comb in once again and throw the discarded hair extension over his shoulder. The only sound between the two of you is the Marvin Gaye spinning on the record player, rooms away, dull basslines thrumming through the apartment. 

“Ion like this,” 

“What?” 

“Whatever jus happened, we talk about what's bothering us,” 

“Ain't nothin botherin me, ma,” 

“Then why you start buggin' the second I get to complimenting you?” 

“Cus ian wit all that girly shit,” 

“Fuck you mean girly shit, I’m jus tryna love up on you Miles,” your nostrils flare as you stare ahead of you.  

“Baby, I’m all for that but–” 

“Miles, did someone tell you boys can't get that?” 

A silence. 

“Baby.” 

“What?” 

“Jus cus you a boy dont mean you don't deserve love,” 

“Aint nobody say allat–” 

“Shut up Ian done,” you say, swiftly turning around and snagging the oil and comb from his hand “jus cus you a boy doesn't mean you don't deserve to feel shit miles. Ion know what it was like wit your last girl, but Ian her. Okay? You allowed to be a person wimme, you know that right?” 

“Ma–” 

“Shut up I still ain't done yet. Miles I’m real, I’m right here. real like you, I promise you I’m not goin nowhere right now,” 

“You done?” 

“Yeah,”  

“C’mere,” he motions to his lap, taking the comb and oil out of your hands and setting them on the tiled floor, laying out the discarded bundles.  

“ ‘s oil all up on my hands” 

“No me importa ma, come up on here,”  

Obeying and wiping the excess coconut oil off your hand, you do. Straddling his lap, and looking into his eyes, examining the twinge of sadness in his eyes. 

“Talk to me, mama,” 

“I want you to know that you deserve love and that you’re allowed to feel some typa way. I want you to talk to me, Miles. I care about you so much and I wanna make sure you’re good. I love hearing you talk, but Ion like havin to beg you to talk to me. I love jus bein in your presence, but I hate feelin like that Miles. I don’t know who told you whatever's going through your head right now but they dead wrong. I wanna know how you be feelin, I wanna know.” 

“Why you even talk like this to me?” 

“Cus I’m your girl, n I like to kiss up on you and love all up on you,” 

At this, he averts his eyes, trying to escape your gaze, his breath audibly speeding up. 

“Mm mm, don't do that Miles. Please breathe,” 

You plead, subconsciously pressing your middle three fingers under his jaw trying to measure his heart rate. Almost as a reflex to hide from you, he shrugs your hand away from under his jaw and pulls his hoodie over his mouth.

“Nah nah, don't hide from me neither,”  

“Ain’t nobody hidin from you,” 

“Jus cus you a boy don’t mean you don't deserve them random ass cuddles, or someone to tie up your durag or wash your hair. It don’t mean you shouldn't get flowers or hugs or them lil hickies behind your ear. Don't mean you not allowed to be sad or mad or wanna cry. Now Ion know who told you or made you feel that way but they dead wrong Miles. You allowed to feel with me,” 

“Ian some lil boy runnin around though, that shit ain't for me,” 

“If you wasn't supposed to feel and acknowledge your feelings, why would you be able to feel them? They there for a reason,” 

Still straddled on his lap, he looks up at you with the tiny leverage you have on him. His eyes are big and doe-like, almost as if he’s scared to make this next step, say this next sentence.” 

“Ion know why,” he mumbles, voice soft and scared. suddenly he’s kissin up on you, gripping anything he can get his hands on, like he’s making up for lost time, lost feelings. It's urgent and a little rough, though his lips are soft and velvety, a twinge of menthol chapstick on them.  

“Yo yo yo, slow down. Ian goin nowhere” you whisper into his mouth, nails gently raking across his neck “ ‘m right here Miles, see?” you ask, guiding his hands to feel on the left side of your chest, right above your heart. “ ‘s my heart under there, I'm right here okay? I’m real, Miles I swear,” 

“You’re real?” he whispers, breath shaky and uneven fisting the thin fabric of your camisole under the evergreen zip-up, in an attempt to feel more of your heart. 

“You allowed to feel your feelings the same way you feel my heart,” 

He still looks astonished, scared, and frozen. suddenly it wasn’t him you were talking to anymore. it was the scared little Brooklyn boy who had all these feelings stored away inside him, unsure of what to do or who to show them to.  

“ ‘m sitting right here miles. I’m your girl, okay? This is real, and you are real,” 

“I’m real?” tears begin to swim in his eyes. 

“You’re real miles. and those feelings in that big heart of yours? Those are real too. And if you let me, I wanna hear all of 'em.”  

His body stills once more against you, a small tear gliding down his cheek. 

“I love you,” 

And then he’s sobbing. 

“Sshh, hey it's okay” you whisper, holding him close to your chest. “I love you so much I can’t hardly breathe when I'm around you. It’s okay and you're okay, Miles. I’m real and this is real and you. You are real.” you mumble into his braids, holding him with the protectiveness of a mother with a small child. 

He just sat there, his head buried in your chest as he cried quietly, letting everything out. You just sat and let him cry and vent through his tears. All the things he had bottled up, discouraged to show to anyone. Sooner or later the tears slow to a stop, his face puffy and hot. 

Gently tugging the ends of his braids, he looks up at you. 

“You feel better sueñito?” you ask, dragging the cuff of your sweater to dry his face and pressing butterfly kisses to his cheeks in its wake. He did nothing but nod lazily, seemingly lighter, and nuzzling his face into your chest. 

“Lemme finish wiping up your face n then you can be all up on me, bonito, okay? 

He just nodded, dropping his head back to rest against the bathroom wall, the half-taken-out braids on your scalp no longer th task at hand. Reaching behind him you grab a baby wipe and swipe the tears and snot off his face, leaving his skin with a glossy finish. Holding his chin up, you look dead in his eyes. 

“You so beautiful Miles.” 

And this time, he nods. 

🩷 reblogs are always appreciated for reach <3

[jeansplaytoy]

aot people and what dogs they have

this was funnnn , no warnings !!

starting off , i feel like eren would have a french bulldog 😭 he don’t even seem like a big dog typa person (not in the animal way) but he would def name the dog after him like with the same initials or something. like ej (eren jeager) jr.

“ej jr, getcho ass back over here.”

“bruh ej jr ian even playin nomo bruh.”

“junior, why you eat my new…” and take a deep ass breath. “why you eat my new shoes?”

but to be honest he can’t even be mad cus him and the dog act just alike 💀 and i feel like ej jr would be hella nice, just play too much (like eren). like the amount of times this dog has took off down the sidewalk and eren just stood there, sick and tired of the bullshit. he’d definitely be one of those people that would be like “dogs too much to handle” but kept the dog no matter whatttt.

next up is connie, who would prolly have a doberman i’m not even finna lie. like he would want a dog that looks scary, but isn’t actually mean. and that’s specifically his dog.

like he’s trained enough that if connie tells him to attack like for real, that mf gon attack. but he’s trained enough to know if connie just playin or not. but he got it kinda good cus when i say everybody is scared of this boys dog …. it ain’t even funny 💀

everybody is scared of it except for the main group. he gotta keep it in its room (yet it had its own room) for somebody to come over his house.

and i feel like he’d name it like domino or spade (ykyk).

“yo spade come here lil bro!”

“spade go eat yo food, you had me fixing that shit for nun.”

“spade. go in yo room fool.”

he also squares up and play fights wit the dog 😭.

next up is jean. now this mf know he wrong, but he would have one of them tall ass dogs, like a irish wolfhound or sumn.

now this dog is sum else, jeans dog would be hella chill, but taking it out in public? 💀shiddd. everybody staring and looking like a mf and he honestly, HONESTLYYY don’t understand why. people will literally be like “bruh, that dog is huge as fuck.” and he’ll just be like “ion know what y’all be talmout, but ight.” AND IT AINT NO ACT cus he tall too😭.

the dogs name would prolly be clifford, ngl. the only difference is that the dog ain’t red. but other than that, he chill as hellll.

“clifford, stop tryna eat paper and shit!”

“cliff’ you chewed my bottle of water bro.”

“clifford, go. just go sit down, damn.”

there’s really no problems with this dog other than the fact that it’s big, but it’s trained a lot and hella good. like the dog knows to sit down in its normal spot when people come over and not to try to jump on people when they’re standing up, stuff like that.

so ony would probably have a small dog just like eren, and it’d probably be a papillon and lemme tell you, he would literally treat this dog like a princesssss omggg.

buy her clothes, paint her nails, brush and comb her hair, brush her teeth, treats everywhere in the bottom of the pantry. like he’ll treat the dog like his own daughter. he always holds her, she’s trained (kind of), like what else could a dog ask for?

but the namewise, i feel like he’d name his dog princeee, honestly. 😭

“princess, bring yo tiny ass-“

“you hungry, P’?”

“princess get that shit out yo mouth!”

of course he’ll only fuss at the dog if she really being disobedient like the time his bed was covered in toilet paper, like ten rolls.

now speaking of fussing, mikasa will forever get fussed at for buying not one, but two black perro de prasa canarios. when i say this girl don’t give a damn bout walking at night with her hands full at all, even when the dogs ain’t on a leash, they’re trained REALLY good. so when she’s actually scared or nervous about somebody following her, they’ll do exactly what she says. full on barking and then stopping mid bark when she says so.

everybodies scared of her dog (and connie would be jealous because not that many people really care about his when they see hers) but it’s not even on purpose, she just wants them for protection honestly.

their names would probably be bullet and gun. obviously.

“gun, bullet, why is there dog food everywhere?”

“gun, bro stop tryna fight bullet.”

“bullet, stop shaking water everywhere!”

bullet is bullet because he got a lot of energy and gun is gun because he’s more intimidating. like they got the spike collars and all, mikasa was not playing.

last but not least, sasha would have a dog that she could laugh at everyday, like a greyhound.

now honestly her and this dog will argue each other from the minute she wakes up to the minute she goes back to sleep. they would be so on and off. 😭 but she’d dress the dog up and stuff and be really nice to it.

the only thing she’d really laugh at is how skinny the dog looks. but the name would probably be bones.

“bones, stop chewing on my airpods cases!”

“bones, get out. please get out.”

“bones stop scratching meee!”

but she obviously loves her dog cus she’s the type to have it since she was like 16 maybe. and they play fight too but she always ends up losing the fight, and one of her lashes in the process.

let’s not talk about how i fg to put armin, hope u enjoyed.

[juiceedapplee]

OMG I WAS PLAYING DTI AND IM DRESSING UP AS ANNABELLE FOR THE HORROR MOVIE CATEGORY AND I SEE SOMEONE ELSE DO IT TOO BUT THEY HAVE VIP AND IK THEY DID IT BETTER BUT IM A BITTER BITCH SO I GIVE ONE STAR.

BEFORE THAT THO I CAME ON AND THEY SAID IN CHAT “WANNA BE ME?” IM LIKE HUH? MAYBE THEY JUST SAID TO SOMEONE ELSE SO I DONT RESPOND.

THEY GET FIRST AND SAY TY AND COME RIGHT NEXT TO ME AND SAY “GIRL BOO.” IM LIKE HUH????

I TYPE BACK “WDYM GIRL BOO”

SHE SAYS NUN SO THEN WE ARGUE AND MY FRIEND PULLS UP AND ARGUES TOO AND SHE STARTS SPEAKIING HASHTAGS SO IM LIKE HUH????

I DONT SPEAK HASHTAGS THEN SHE SAYS YOU WILL TODAY

LIKE WHATTTTTT LIKE GIRL I CANT EVEN READ WHAT U TRYNA SAY WTF

AND NOW SHE AINT MOVING BUT TELLING US TO MOVE AND ITS LIKE GIRL UR NOT WEARING ANYTHING ANS MY FRIEND POINTS IT OUT AND SHES ALL LIKE ILL DRESS UP ON MY OWN TIME BUT THEN LEAVES CAUSE SHE ONLY GOT A FEW SECONDS LEFT.

ANYWAY I WON THE ARGUMENT

[su-angelvicioso]

I'm not sure why you and others push for the fandom to not view Maria as evil? Maria's one of my all-time fave villains, alongside Aro and East of Eden's Cathy Ames *precisely* because she can be cold-hearted, manipulative, and evil. Even in the vampire world, plenty of covens in BD hunt humans and create companions but don't cause death and suffering on the scale that Maria does. Why can't we just love her as an "evil" character instead of pushing the idea that's she's misunderstood?

I’m sorry if this response is about to come with some Aggressive Heat. I am...

But I am saying it like this for the last time I hope because I am Simply Tired of constantly having to explain this very same thing that I have already explained and talked about a million times already. This is not just to you. This is to everyone who has ever came after me, insulted me, talked down to me, and more simply for trying to love and show a different, better, more nuanced character in the name of María.

María is not evil, she is not a villain. I don’t care what anyone says. She does not even act as a villain in the present of the series. Not even to the one that she is most known for being “evil” to. She and him are literally friends. Some characters, usually characters of color, are always portrayed and said to be So EviL when they’re not? They really are just misunderstood. Sometimes on purpose, and sometimes on accident due to ignorant and prejudiced influences.

I’m not sure why you seem to think me -and others- wanting to show that María is not evil is something that needs to be questioned. María is not a villain, point blank period. and putting her into the same category as Aro and whoever else you just named I don’t know them is exactly the problem. Because María didn’t do the morally grey things she did because she’s “cold hearted”. Also the covens in BD have been alive for who knows how long, eating the regular vampire diet. How do you know they haven’t or don’t “cause the death and suffering on the scale that María has” ??? I’m sure needing to eat people (and animals) to survive for hundreds/thousands of years surely does cause death and suffering for a Very long time does it not?

Also those covens and vampires in BD didn’t live in a literal fucking War Zone damn near their entire lives. They weren’t born into that environment, raised and shaped in that environment thinking that’s how life was all around. They didn’t have to fight for their lives living in the middle of war everyday. They didn’t lose not only their Human Life and Family but also Vampire livelihood and entire SECOND family to said war. They weren’t left all alone helpless, defenseless with nowhere to go unless risking being found and picked off. They didn’t have to learn how to adapt into a fucked up situation, all alone lest they be killed but you know who was? María.

She actually had a very understandable reason to do the things she did. Does it make it right? No. However it is wrong to me to call her evil when She Didn’t do those things because she just felt like it and/or because she had some gift and then got other gifted people and formed some government coven to rule over the entire world. That’s where the difference lies.

I don’t understand why y’all fight so hard to call her evil? I don’t understand why y’all WANT her to be evil so bad just so y’all can insult and put her down and claim it’s all “in good taste” bc “she’s bad lol”... It’s really not. Stuff like that goes south and gets racist Real Quick and I will never sit comfortable with it. Especially when they don’t understand or relate to her character on the level that I do, coming from someone who sees herself in said character and sees how just unfairly she was treated.

I remember reading a post talking about how anytime a woman of color appears on the screen and isn’t absolutely 100% perfect, people reach to call her evil when she’s really just a character who has flaws. Sometimes those flaws are Very similar to Certain Other Characters however those other characters Never receive the same energy and are even seen as good.

María is a character who has been shaped, taught and destroyed by her environment. She’s a character who’s been forced into a situation and had to adapt in order to survive. That doesn’t make her evil. María is also a character that was intentionally written to be seen as “Evil” “Manipulative” and “Cold Hearted” by a White Woman who is known for being racist and making characters she doesn’t care about, (usually poc) seem more violent, “evil”, bitter, angry, etc.. than the more popular characters (who are usually white) who are portrayed to be “pure”, happy, and good etc... She also made this character to only be used as a plot point, a device for a white male main character who didn’t need it, thus doing a disservice to her as an actual whole character and a person.. which a lot of people ran with and perpetuated and still do to this day. So much is stripped away from her because of that and no it isn’t right.

So excuse me but No. I will not be acting like she’s some evil villain nor will I ever do so. I Am So Tired of that characterization and representation for not only Mexican characters like María but also other poc who never got to see people like them shine and be the good ones and the hero’s and look nice and such, or just to simply exist and be imperfect and Not get called evil at every reaching chance by people who don’t understand.

And I damn for sure am not about to act like she’s So Evil and then turn around act like the white characters everyone loves are some angels for damn near doing some similar shit.

I Am Tired of seeing my people always be demonized in the Most stereotypical ways and making her that way and pushing that notion that she’s “So Evil!” Leads people to be so close minded that they don’t even Try to empathize with, nor understand her character.

This has been happening to her character since the beginning because people only saw her as “Evil” and that’s it. That also leads to people getting Down Dirty and Racist against her because they think that’s what she deserves for being an “Evil” character. I’ve been around a long time, at the time when nobody thought about her character for more than two seconds and when they did, it was only to call her evil and other nasty ass names and compare her to white characters who were no better and all around treat her character like more shit than Meyer did. It was sick and it was horrible, all because nobody really looked at her character, talked about her, analyzed her or anything, She was given some of the worst treatment I’ve ever seen given to a character, all because “She’s Evil.”

And not to be petty but Y’all are really starting to sound like Mermaid Man with this whole “EVIILLLLL” thing that y’all have been literally pushing since her character was introduced. But when I “push” to have her be seen as an actual person with feelings, history, character, nuance, culture, dimension, and understanding and to be treated with the same respect and empathy that yall give other characters like Victoria, Jasper, Alice, Jacob etc.. then it must be questioned? It’s been horrible for her character since forever. People have only JUST started to come around to her, understand her more, and give her the same type of care, defense, and sympathy that people have given to the likes of Jasper. People only JUST started to really ease up on her and say she’s actually not Evil and see her as a Real Character/Person. People have been absolutely shitty to her and calling her evil for WAY longer. But that time is over and frankly? It needed to be over. So when you ask me “Why can’t we say and act like she’s evil?” I don’t really understand it because y’all BEEN doing that and a lot of you still are.

If you think I’m about to act like she’s some Evil Bitch Villain all because she’s an unhinged character with gray areas when not only does it make perfect sense why she ended up that way but also damn near every other character in that series is just as, if not more gray, and “evil” then you are sorely mistaken.

The fact that you have the privilege to not already see nor understand WHY I do what I do for María and WHY I will never see her as evil and WHY I try to bring about the notion that she really wasn’t evil and/or no more evil than her white counterparts that are praised for also being manipulative and such themselves really showcases my point here, and then to tell me I (and some others) “push” so hard for it when we’re really just calling people out for their hypocrisy, Racism and ignorance when it comes to María’s character.. That doesn’t sit right with me.

I, a woman of color who has been talking about and explained This Very Thing multiple times until I’m blue in the face, and is Tired of it shouldn’t have to explain to you why I do this and why I feel it is the right thing to do for characters like her. That is not my job, and why you don’t understand it and sent me an inflammatory ask like this is beyond me.

Again, I apologize if I am coming off too harsh however I am very Sick & Tired of people (usually anon) coming at me with this same thing to me over and over again, and having to explain over and over again only for people to continue to say things about her that clearly show that she is still misunderstood because of how heavily she is ignored and simply written off as “Evil”. Her character has literally suffered so much because of that and I am Tired of it. So I put this response as bluntly and clearly as possible.

If you wanted to have a real genuine question I do not think going on anon and doing it like this is the way. Considering my past with this very thing, I do not trust inflammatory anons such as this one. I’ve been told not to take them seriously however I took this one seriously and responded this way because I am at my wits end.

[bibibuckleyy]

my thoughts on ‘The taking of Dispach 9-1-1′

this was SUCH a good episode from start to finish! *pulls out a slide show* Now i’ll show you breaking down every. single. scene-

jk lmao...unless?

spoilers below the cut!

lord. have. mercy.

these hoes are givin me major heist vibes

tiffany bby ur the driver but for me to acknowledge you as such you better be Letty Ortiz good hun

wow these thugs are a lot my organized than i first thought like i know they was carryin guns but i aint know they was packin this much like damn

Oceans 8 who?

so i wanna know where they just...got a cop car???

OH HELL NAH Y’ALL BEST NOT MESS WITH TERRY

I MEAN ANA MAY BE HIS SISTER

AND  SHE MAY BE MAKIN MOVES ON EDDIE 

BUT IN THIS HOUSE WE LOVE TERRY FLORES SO YOU GET YOUR GUN AWAY FROM SUNSHINE BBY

it’s kinda funny rewatching this scene when you know what’s about to go down

like i’m cacklin like ‘oh shooooot dramaaaa’

but i’m also like ‘SOMEONE GRAB JOSH AND RUN’

“temporary maintenance, happens all the time” cool cool cool 

i’m not freakin out you’re freakin out

josh and maddie are like friend goals i love their dynamic like yoooo

hi yes could you please get that gun away from terry’s head i would really appreciate it.

OMG SECURITY DUDE NOOOO

wow ur like the only line of defense in the dispatch center and they just kicked ur ass

is this where our tax dollars are goin??

fly high josh’s mug, fly high

that absolute look of fear on his face tho, still breaks my heart

josh russo defense squad post up homies

“i love you, howie” nope nope nope didn’t like it the second time either

when that gun went off

LET ME TELL YOU

i just,,,waited for the blood to start comin out of terry

thank god it wasn’t him

good scene lmaooo 9-1-1 writers i hate you all lmao lmao

“bees are the least of your troubles here, sweetheart” I HATE YOU DUDE

someone call mama grant please

“we’ve got dispatch” i do not like this ma’am i’d like to speak to the manager

“you’ll shoot us” man shut the hell up-

“no, we’ll shoot the person next you you” this dude is insane

lookin like mr.clean’s evil cousin LMAOOOOO

“you only do something like this so you can do something...worse”

um whAT-

“you’re being paranoid, she’s fine” CHIMNEY NO NO NO

i don’t think i’ve ever thrown this much popcorn at my tv in my life

as chimney said “don’t do it man” just picture a 5′5 lightskinned girl tripping over her blanket while yelling “DO IT CHIM, DO IT!” and you’ll have me

“sorry, we are experiencing a high call volume” BITCH MORE LIKE A HIGH CRIME VOLUME SOMEBODY GET MAMA GRANT DAMNIT-

*screams* BUUUUUUUUCK 

HI BBY

ooh nice shirt, i guess pink isn’t the only color that suits ya

he looks good in all the colors

whole damn snaaaaack

not to be an idiot on main but seriously, who watches the watchmen?

“i miss like an earthquake or something?” lmao chim is a whole vibe

“wait....why are you calling 9-1-1, is everything ok?” paired with that cute adorable concerned face he made is making me cry ok we don’t deserve buck T-T

“she’s at the call center, what could happen?” AT LOT ACTUALLY

OH THANK YOU JESUS IT’S ATHENA FUCKIN FINALLY 

*cries* mama grant you won’t believe the day i’ve had

“he’s my husband” LMAOOOOO WHAT

whoa tiffany we’ve already had our fair share of mail bombs here that bet’ not be what i think it is

THE PACKAGE IS VIBRATING AND BLINKING TAKE COVER-

ohhhhhhhhhh

it’s just takin out the security systems lmao 

“technical difficulties” BITCH MORE  LIKE CRIMINAL DIFFICULTIES

“i bet this woman really thinks you’re...worthwhile.” JOSH BBY DON’T LISTEN TO A WORD HE SAYS EVERYONE LOVES YOU

ahaha thanks i did not need those flashbacks it hurt enough the first time 

“a woman called about an omelet, i dispatched an officer”

“to the restaurant?”

“not exactly”

???

“i tried calling josh, but no answer” aww josh and buck are friendssssss :)

JOSH HAS BEEN ADOPTED BY THE FIREFAM PASS IT ON

:0

JOSH YOU GENIUS

YOU SMART SMART CINNAMON ROLL

MAMA GRANT IT’S TIME TO MAKE SOME MOVES

“nO NO CHIMNEY DON’T HANG UP!” i shouldn’t have laughed so hard

oh great he’s hastily grabbing his jacket. he’s about to do something rash and irresponsible

....someone call eddie.

that’s some good heist music right there

the bad guys look stressed....good.

“you’re here so i can keep an eye on you and make sure you don’t do anything foolish” BUT YOU LEFT BUCK

OK BUCK I LOVE YOU BBY

BUT YOU HAVE THIS HABIT OF TURNIN INTO SPECIAL AGENT 007 REAL FAST WHEN YOUR FRIENDS ARE IN TROUBLE MAN

LIKE

HE’S THE ‘EVERYONE BEFORE ME’ MEMBER OF THE FIREFAM

mama grant i ain’t questionin your authority or nun but like???

WHY WOULD YOU NOT KEEP AN EYE ON BUCK TOO?

HE’S THE MOST LIKELY CANDIDATE TO DO SOMETHIN STUPID

thats some reckless drivin there buckaroo

buck who were you tryna fool tho

athena only knows one golden retriever dude in this city who drives a grey and black jeep

“ok now, don’t be mad” LMAOOOOOOOO

HANDS DOWN ONE OF MY FAVE SCENES

HE KNEW HIS MOM WAS PISSED TOO LMAOOOO

athena’s look is sending meeeeee 😂😂

omg my god😭😂

“hey buck”

“...hey chim”

athena has some dumbass kids yo

the best part is, she knows it

the way mr. clean broke his neck when dude said ‘police cruiser’ LMAOOOO

“and if it’s not normal?”

“we’ll find out”

*blasts boss bitch*

i love the way buck is kinda concerned for his mom tho

and athena’s just like ‘it’s no sweat sweetie i do this every day’

“shoot her”

BITCH I HOPE THE FUCK YOU DO

YOU’LL BE A DEAD SON OF A BITCH

I’LL TELL YOU THAT

“shoot her, now”

try her bitch, see what happens to yo ass. 

the 118

the call center

the entire fandom 

we will collectively end you

“we got a report of a code 77″

THANK GOD THAT GOT ATHENA OUT OF THERE

what is a code 77 you say?

“ambush, proceed with caution”

well it sure nuff aint indecent exposure

*boss bitch keeps playing cause that was super smart for her to give out a code 77*

“maddie is smart, she can take care of herself until help gets there”

HELL YEA SHE CAN

SHE KICKED DOUG’S ASS SHE’LL KICK YOURS TOO

“they’re not gonna wanna leave behind a room full of witnesses”

i’m-i’m fine, i swear-

“killing people, your solution to every problem”

excuse me? do i hear morals??

they’re really fighting each other

they some grade a stupid right there 

there’s no way they are pullin this off

terry

terry what are you doing

TERRY

RUN TERRY RUN GO GO GO

OH SHIT

JOSHHHHHHHH

i thought they were gonna shoot terry

BUT JOSH CAME THROUGH IN THE CLUTCH

wowwwwww dispatch is a lot more badass than i thought

these dudes are hard core

OH

OH JOSH NO BBY

THAT LOOKS LIKE IT HURT

aii square tf up mr. clean we don’t hit josh here and you gon have to pay for that one

the way everyone is just quietly sobbing tho

it saddens me

“I need another thirty minutes”

i’m really enjoying watching this dude’s plan crumble around him

swat posted up aii i see yall

“we’ll try to get eyes in a damn windowless room”

well when you put it that way it sounds like this is hopeless

“i’m sorry i thought you were crazy”

“i’m sorry i wasn’t”

wow i don’t think i was supposed to laugh at that

and chim bein concerned for maddie is literally one if the best things ever y’all.

completely unrelated note, anybody else see bad boys for life?

“yeah i’m ok, my ears are just ringing a little” with the TEARS and the SNIFFLES and him SMILING THROUGH THE PAIN JOSH IS TOO PURE FOR THIS 

“why do you think we asked for so many RA units?” BITCH I KNOW YOU FUCKIN LYIN

for those of y’all that ain’t kno, RA units are rescue ambulance units

way to reassure people, lady

it’s like she said ‘everyone might be lightly shot by the time this is all over’

“so you are worried. it makes sense, cause all your friends keep dissappearing are they even in the same building?” WITH THAT LOOK OF STRAIGHT SPITE DAMN MADDIE BUCKLEY, DAMNNN

we stan the BAMF BUCKLEYS

“oh my god, LINDA??” lo key thought this was real for a second

“latex! is there latex in your gloves?” greg come on man you planned a heist you can’t be this stupid

SURPRISE! LINDA IS ALLERGIC TO BEES

ENJOY YOUR EPINEPHRINE ASSHOLE

OH

OH WOW

WOW DISPATCH

Y’ALL JUST-

WOW

EVERYONES GOT GUNS AND EVERYTHING OH MY GODDDDD

GIVE IT UP FOR DISPATCH 

you know it’s really funny, cause tiffany ain’t nowhere to be found

“next one goes in your head” OOOOOOOOOOOH SHE’S A BOSS ASS BITCH BROOO YESSSSSSS

(i know, two different songs, but ya gotta admit, it applies)

“you don’t get to die” 

i just-

hands down, most powerful line in the whole episode.

it’s an odd form of vengeance, saving the man that attacked you multiple times from the release of death

 that’s what it would’ve been tho

a release

he would’ve died, and he wouldn’t of had to pay for any of his actions

but instead, josh saved his sorry ass

so he gets to pay for this in the land of the living

the best revenge, actually

and, josh saved a life

he’s worthwhile

“i’m not goin back” well i knew mr. clean was gonna die from the beginning sooooooo

“we’ve got dispatch”  and it’s finally over

i’m kinda bummed that we didn’t get to see SEAL!buck or the rest of the firefam but we got  BAMF!dispatch and that was enough lmao

kudos to those off duty dispatches as well, like y’all just walked past the dead body and moved on from the whole hostage situation to do your already stressful job

CHIM’S FACE WHEN HE SEES MADDIE I AM SOBBING

THEY SAID MADNEY RIGHTS Y’ALL😭😭😭

this hug is everythinggggg 

lo key buck watching from afar breaks my heart ahaha

“she already has everything she needs”

....this is tea for another day, but...

buck, you do know people need you as much as you need them, right?

....right?

still not over that hug tho

ayeeee wassup bobby!

how was the camping trip i was extremely against?

oooooh i love the crime recaps!

i may or may not have been like buck in the bank episode when he said ‘i’m some confused, can you start over’

...ahem....

“wait....you didn’t round her up too?”

ok listen....

while i don’t condone stealing and and the extreme amount of violence they used,

i do condone outsmarting men that think less of you because you are a woman

you are a boss tiffany, and i’m actually kind of sad you got caught

“tiffany was the real mastermind” can i just.....

*BLASTS BOSS BITCH FROM THE ROOFTOPS CAUSE WOMEN OWNED THIS EPISODE! THEY WERE SO DAMN BADASS*

thanks 9-1-1 writers for that, btw. 

gotta admit, as much as they rip out our hearts and stomp on em, they know what they are doin

jake you shady shady bitch

ngl tho both plans were solid 

maybe if it was done completely by women it would’ve worked :)

“looks  like your trip’s been delayed...by about 5 to 15 years” athena you got the best lines yo

jake f’ed up the other plan too lmaoo

like i said, if it was all women, they would’ve pulled this off

and they end it with madney

gosh i loved this episode

So! These were my thoughts on 3x14! Let me know what you think, and hit up my ask box if you want me to post my thoughts on another episode! Later taters!

Oh yeah, if you liked this you can find my thoughts on ‘Pinned’ here!

[dayasbun]

Fame - Angus Cloud (3)

Summary- a luckily timed audition leads to you falling for your new and unexpected co-star.

Warnings- okay HI welcome to my first multi chapter series woah?! this is actually so exciting for me like wow especially since angus doesn’t have any fics yet im just really really excited- so warnings! smut for sure, bad words, lotsa fluff, angst- everything in one basically. here comes a ride and I hope you enjoy :)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3 {reading now}

-

Well, needless to say you got the role.

The final run through with Drake was successful, he started spewing off about how talented you were. You did your usual which was smile and nod, and Angus told you to "Stop being so shy mamas. You gotta get used to this."

Time flew as you turned in forms, focused on moving closer to set, and grew your social media audience. It was all exciting but also overwhelming, however you already loved it.

You and Angus seemed to be getting more comfortable with each other, the tension was wearing off and a simple friendship was forming. The luxury apartment you were moving into for when filming ceased was conveniently just a few doors down from his apartment, you two were going to be in the same complex. You talked quite often and filming hadn't even started yet, and you almost felt silly for feeling intimidated, if that was even the word, by him before. He'd offered to come over to help you move in- and even though the tension had faded, your {sometimes} inappropriate thoughts of him hadn't.

But today was the day everything kicked into gear, because today was the first day of filming.

You and Angus decided to meet up at a small, locally owned coffee shop before heading to set. You could both go together, and since he offered to drive, you could save some gas.

You got there early, you two were to meet at 7:30 am, you were there at 7:25 due to leaving time to dodge the traffic. Angus came through the door yawning at 8:17- due to oversleeping.

"Do you always do this?" you laughed sliding a donut over to him as he sat down across from you in the booth.

"Do what?" he asked, eating half of the donut in one big bite.

"Are you always late- like on set? Because most of my scenes are with you and I-"

"You think ahead a lot, I just like sleeping, you should like it too you feel what I mean? Sleep is just that bitch...if there was a girl like sleep then I would have a girl."

Half of the time the things Angus came up with made zero sense to you, but you always just agreed and moved along. For example, yesterday night he called you at 12:32 am just to let you know that the Frosted Flakes box had 'of corn' in small writing under the bold logo. You said you'd never noticed that- which was the truth, and then that led to him telling you the complete history of Mandela effects. You didn't get back to bed until 1:54.

"And to be fair Y/N, you kept me up last night with that Mandela effect shit." he said with a smirk as he finished off the donut.

Your mouth fell open as you rolled your eyes "Boy as if! You wish I-"

"So you quoting 90s movies now? That's new, don't really know how I feel ab-"

"Lets go," you shook your head standing up and tossing your coffee cup into the garbage.

You two walked out and into the warm LA air. "You read the scripts at all?" He asked you as you headed to his car.

"I did! We have a lot of scenes...some are quite different."

"What you mean? Not boutta lie I didn't read anything past the first episode cuz them other shits too far away."

"Well, sex is always a given in Euphoria."

"Yeah them nude scenes finna make me feel a bit violated if you know what I mean."

"You'll be fine, all you show is your ass but I have to-"

"Oh shit I gotta show my cheeks? For real? On television- aw nah I gotta talk to somebody about tha-"

"I have to show everything except my baby maker so...who really has it worse?"

"Yo' baby maker? Is that them gorgeous eyes cuz it sure does make me want to make a baby wit' you."

Was that a joke-

He did this alot. You never knew if he was actually flirting or if it was just him joking around, but you always assumed it was the latter.

"Was that a...was that a joke from you Angus? How rare!"

He flipped you off with a goofy grin at the next red light and you laughed. "No all jokes aside though Gus, I gotta show my whole body, titties and all. Like my parents are going to watch this how do I? Explain?"

“Well we can fuck wit’ all that when we get to it.”

“Oh baby...” You said sarcastically. “You didn't actually read the first episodes script did you?”

“What you mean?”

You pulled the script from out of your tote, clearing your throat before you started to read. “Jess looks at Fez with a gleam of interest in her eyes. ‘Its been awhile tiger’ she says in a certain way, a way that makes Fez adjust his- yeah I’m not reading that- ‘It has’ Fez says biting his lip. He wants her, but he doesn't know if she wants him too...he thinks she doe-”

“We gotta have sex the first episode? Nah you lying.”

“Episode 1, 3, 5, 7 and 8.”

“Holy shit what?! Aint nobody have that much sex last season...”

“Yeah but its because of our storyline. Jess and Fez constantly want each other and they think the only way to let it out is through sex- they are both terrible with commitment and Jess is afraid of Fez’s dealing; even if she wants to be with him that's keeping her away.”

“Damn, my manz Fez gettin’ the short end of the stick.”

“Jess is the only one getting a short stick Angus.”

It took him a minute to understand what you said, but as soon as he comprehended it his eyes widened. “Girl no you didnt- you know I’m packing- how you gon’ do me like that?!” he said defensively as he parked. You couldn't help but to laugh as you hurried out of the car. “Imma get you back for that!” He yelled after you. You shook your head and walked to the main trailer where everyone was to gp.

Walking in you saw only Z and Storm, Queen Bey played softly in the background showing the girls in front of you were in their element. “Hey girl!” Z said giving you a quick side hug. “Dont worry about being late, its all good. You came with Angus didn't you?”

You nodded whilst rolling your eyes and took the key she was holding out, walking back out and to your trailer.

The trailer was cozy, comfortable and not too small. It had quite a modern look to it, and the look on the outside didn't match the inside at all. You smiled as you sat on the sofa, seeing a white envelope on the glass table. On it was scribbled ‘Angus and Y/N’. Before you could get up to go over to his trailer, he walked in- no invitation, no knock, no anything. “Gee!!!! Good thing I wasn’t naked!” You said sarcastically as you glared at him.

“Yeah whateva. We gotta read this letter together I guess.” He said plopping down beside you.

“Yeah yeah okay, I can read it out loud.” You said cracking open the envelope and pulling out the bright white printer paper. “Okay here we go...it's from...Drake?”

“Ah shit.”

“Don’t worry yet, it's probably just- let me just read.”

Angus nodded and got more comfortable on the sofa as you started to read. “Angus and Y/N. On behalf of your upcoming roles I wanted to tell you guys to loosen up. Theres alot of sexy time to film, and I don't want the viewers to feel the sexual tension from Angus and Y/N, I want them to feel it radiating from Jess and Fez. Make kissing casual, make being naked around each other casual too. Don't make that shit weird. And Angus, make sure you can get it up. If it takes...oh-” you stopped for a moment.

“What?” Angus looked at you and you cocked your head to one side still inspecting the letter.

“Okay- here, he said: If it takes walking around each other unclothed then do it, take care of that tension between you two. I could feel it in the final run through, meaning that the viewers would be able to sense it as well. I'm only saying all this cuz its your first time filming together. I need art, not high school production shit. You guys have the passion, and you click. But there's something missing. Make the fuck out and get this show on the road. I'm always a call away if its not working out-- Drake.”

“Well damn. What he tryna say?”

“Angus it's clear what he's saying- I mean come on I feel the tension between us too, and I don't know what it is but hes right, whatever it is we need to get over it, and move on from that. This is business- an art form we have to work through. Ight?”

“Ight. So what I’m hearing is we gotta make out and get naked.”

“We aren't doing anything until ya girl takes a nap.”

“How you sleepy we just got here and you woke up 3 hours ago?”

“Listen man it is not my fault I only got 4 and a half hours of sleep-”

“SO you tryna say it’s mine?!” “It is! With your mandela effecr loving ass.”

He chuckled under his breath. “Okay okay, fair. But lemme sleep wit’ you.” “What? Why?”

“You the one that read the letter, we gotta drop this tension lil mama. And if we legit just sleeping, ion see nun wrong wit’ it, do you?”

You thought it over, and he had a point. There was nothing wrong with it, sleeping is sleeping...and besides, you two would have to do much worse.

“Whatever, come on.”

“Let’s go to my trailer though.”

“What? Why? Ion wanna walk come on Angu-”

“I can carry you then. But my place more homey, you just got here and your bed ain’t even got sheets.”

Damn, why is he always right? “Okay fine but carry me.”

He hunched down in front of the sofa “Get on my back and we can go.”

You grabbed your phone getting onto his back and holding on tight, your arms around his neck and your thighs squishing his sides. “Go go go!” You giggled, feeling safe as you rested your chin on the top of his head.

He ran to the trailer, causing you to laugh and hold on even tighter. Dropping you onto the bed, he looked around the small trailer-bedroom for more covers.

“You know girl,” he said looking into the closet “You kinda cute. How you was laughing out there had my heart beating fast and shit.” He found a throw and turned back around to ask you if it was good, but you were already out, completely sound asleep, and cuddled into a pillow. “Damn so you ain't hear none o’ that huh?” He sighed. “Probably better on my end. Can’t be catching feelings and shit.” He covered you over and lay beside you.

In your sleep your body detected the body heat, so you unknowingly turned over, cuddling into his chest. A smile formed on your lips as you moved closer, practically wrapping yourself around him.

The man sighed placing his lips to your forehead and leaving a light kiss. “Yeah. No catching feelings.”

-

taglist:

@nikkixostan @melaninmarvel @celiajrs @siriuslycollins

[brettdeadly]

FELL ASLEEP ON DMT w/ Nikolai Rya, Billy Nelson, Kosh (Prod. Elijah Heaps) by elijah heaps Genuine x Wanderers Recorded at The Attic 3/15/17 Mix/Master by Genuine Produced by Elijah Heaps lyrics: (nikolai rya) swerving hit the lever, or up in the 911 i tell you theres no such thing as heaven, but we live it up started to make a name now we change, make a drop hitting the block around my old spot never stop how i make them all listen this is sound from the given i take another tab up up up out of my mind I'm bleeding up out my eyes cause i was fucking blind yea another city for the round about you can't handle all the shit that i am talking why you spilling out? (elijah heaps) all i know is bout the nights without no baby yuh its 4 in the morning and I'm lonely up in the early yuh and i can't tell no lies about the people I'm evading but thats the truth of most discussion I'm just saying no i can't sow no seeds these people watching me its us against the world the government don't give nun free impostors on the slick these bitches chasing dick but lately I've been chasing everything but vacantness (billy nelson) Psychedelics take her where she wanna go (That's for sure) Found my sight won't see me less I'm with the bros (in general) Never flexing don't mention the spiritual (that's a no) Fell asleep on DMT I'm comatose (I'm letting go) Won't believe me when I say we do the most (not to boast ) Y'all been slacking on backing up what you show (minimal ) They've been asking what happening to our souls (well I suppose ) The evolutions within it won't be exposed (we chose to know ) (kosh) The way we movin Been on ganja eyes low like I came from China Foreigner but won't design us Spread your legs out like the jordan sign This shit ain't no counterfeit Better know exactly what to do with mine Been doing this from time to time Don't pull no tricks All my homies tryna work So find your purpose When you chirp Thinkin I don't know what's up Well Check my time up on this earth First realize you fuckin with a wandering soul It shows that time is really made with gold it's something you can't fold Don't fight the feelin feel the pressure Same thing that my ancestors had felt been Celled for months inside my brain but Cant obtain what has been shelled Shocked by what you see But best believe I'll plant my seed In my turf I know my worth im Reaching souls across the seas (billy nelson) Equal to holy Unleash the nature of knowing Possessing thee slowing Obsessing over me only Progression has shown me I need more brothers then homies Genuine when I wander not the ordinary scholar (elijah heaps) thinking about the days and nights when i aint even know how i survived when all those people threw the shade and then i rose to their surprise but i been drinking out the fountain stone cold, aye yeah now all my people rocking with the grunge lord (nikolai rya) yeah always take off on a mission now we good keeping it straight the whole team is so persistent we should I'm talking about going out might your fucking town come around we drown the negative out never know what could happen get tragic for acting

[horny-star99]

Whyyy not ;)

NSFW Questions

1:When did you lose your virginity? 12..yikes.  2: Rough sex or soft sex? Roughh.  3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes? Nothing, unusual pretty basic.  4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex? I would have to say a train?..lol 5: Favourite sex position? Doggystyle. 6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive? Both :3   7: Have you ever had any one night stands? Yes, who hasn’t?  8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor? Doesn’t matter, but i prefer the bed.  9: Have you ever had sex in a public place? yes, plenty.  10: Have you ever been caught masturbating? No, almost though. yikes!  11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like? Lacy thongs!  12: How often do you have sex? 2-3 times a week.  13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with? My hubby!  14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex? Both!  15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex? With my ex, I puked on his stomach while giving him a blowjob. xD 16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex? AC/DC 17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex? Slow motion- Trey Songs 18: Are you into dressing up for sex? Never have, but i’m down!  19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower? Shower!  20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be? My husband! 21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you? Yes! lol  22: Do you/would you use sex toys? Yeah, here and there.  23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture? yeah!  24: Would you have sex with your best friend? I do every week! ;)  25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink) Have a fat sesh and drink of water. than a cigarette.  26: Something that will never fail to get you horny? Kissing my neck, or touching my inner thigh... ughhh! shit gets me everytime!  27: Early morning sex or late night sex? Both but Late night cause i’m more alert lol  28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex? Everything!  29: Favourite body part on the same sex? Titttys!  30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find: Vibrator lol  31: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you: Bondage. I hook up with a guy and he pulled stuff out like that and i was not in for it at all! loool shit scarees me.  32: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?] Yeah, lol it’s just pussy. i know im clean. 33: Is it ever okay to not use a condom: Unless you dont know the person, or you aint tryna get pregnant  34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience: whipped cream! 35: Worst possible time to get horny:In traffic or at work.  36: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans? Ugh yess.  37: How much fapping is too much fapping: Non of yo damn business.  38: Best sexual complement you ever got: I give good head lol  39: Favorite foreplay activities: Bj while he plays with me.  40: What do you wear to bed? My mans shirt and thats it ;)  41: When was the first time you masturbated: 12 (i started puberty young so my hormones did to ugh lol)  42: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself? somewhere lol 43: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside? Years ago. I have my house i dont need to do that shit.  44: Have/would you ever have sex in public? idkkk 45: Have/would you ever had a threesome? Yes, i have had a few.  46: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate? ew nothing lol 47: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not? All i watch is lesbian both others don’t get me off idk why lol  48: Do you like oral sex? (why/why not) Loveee it!  49: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in? Ughh, yes daddy! lol  50: How would you feel about taking someones virginity? depends, one night stands nah they get to attached easily.  51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter? uh... idk? i dont use any but i would say nun.  52: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute? Pornstar.  53: Do you watch porn? All the time lol  54: Have you ever been called a freak? Why? My hubby calls me one all the time umm probably cuz im always tryna get freaky lol  55: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”? LOL i do all the time.  56: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair? shave yo pubs ucck!  57: If you could give yourself head, would you? errrvyday, lol  58: Booty or Boobs? booobs!  59: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?) My ex, i was 15. didn’t get the concept of a relationship lol   60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do? Fuck a chick, jerk off, do the helicopter check my body out lol  61: have you ever watched someone masturbate? Yes, lol  62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate? yes lol  63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed? Dont got a dick lol  64. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate) Rubbing till i cum lol im basic lol  65. What is your bra/penis size? 36D 66. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus? nothing lol  67. When was the last time you masturbated? this morning.  68. When was the last time you had sex? Last Saturday.  69. When was the last time you watched porn? This morning.  70. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do? Always a vibrator.  71. Guys:Circumsized? Doesn’t matter but i do prefer natural.  72. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched? my booty 73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched? clit and tits 74. Girls:Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation? no lol  75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr? no lol  76. When was the last time you have had a wet dream? a while ago. 77. Which wet dream was your favorite? me and my hubby lol idk it felt so real. 78. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with? i have no friends lol  79. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with? Ugh Charlie Hunnam, FUCCCK ANYDAYY.  80. Favorite sexual position? Doggystyle.  81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed? Not really lol  82. Are you into any BDSM? NO.  83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why? No lol  84. Do you like dirty talk? Yess.  85. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation? If people are home, im quite if im alone hell i dont care.  86. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what? I have a 3 year old so yes plenty of times.  87. What kind of porn do you like to watch? Lesbian or threesomes. 88. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them? No lmfao i dont got a dick  89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them? Ugh all the time lol i love u tho baby just im a horny freakk ahahah!  90. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them? My husband was a one night stand and now im married to him the other fuck that. im happily taken and couldnt care a less as to what they are doing.  91. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial? Oh yeah! Nah i got my man! 

[certifiablyidiotic]

Acting like a dominant girl on Omegle gets you nowhere.

I'm a cismale and I thought 'Why not act like a woman tonight?' I chose to act like a dominant lesbian and this is the results

!!!EXPLICIT CONTENT WARNING!!!

Stranger: M or f

You: I'm a fucking human. It doesn't matter.

Stranger: Bitch STFU😒

You: I just want a casual chat.

You: Is that too much?

Stranger: No come get sum

Stranger: I'm NOT gay

Stranger: So if this a guy

Stranger: Leave me alone

You: Homophobic, I see.

Stranger: No I'm not

Stranger: That's what I am not

You: You said 'Leave me alone' as if you were afraid of a little homosexuality.

Stranger: I am I don't put myself around that energy

You: So...

Homophobic.

Stranger: Is this a girl if you a girl idc if you say allat but

You: Yeah it is, but what if I'm a lesbian?

Stranger: If you a guy you kinda wierd man

Stranger: That's coo

You: Why would it automatically be weird for a guy to say this, if I may?

Stranger: Wym?

Stranger: Guys shouldn't be talking bout anything gay

You: But girls can?

Stranger: I'm not gay so I don't associate with gay stuff

Stranger: Yes your a girl🤩😂call me whateverrr

You: So you don't support LGBT+ and you shun gay dudes.

That's called Homophobic.

Stranger: But anywayssss😂

Stranger: I'm not homophobic

Stranger: Stop calling me gay girl😭

You: You sure act like it.

You: I'm not calling you gay.

Homophobic is afraid of gays.

Stranger: Ohhhhh

You: Or a hatred for them

Stranger: I don't hate it's just idc to hear bout it

You: And if you do?

Stranger: Wym?

You: You don't care to hear about it.

What happens if you do?

Stranger: Well then I'm tb gay stuff Wich I don't like tbh😐

Stranger: But when a girl tb it it's okay

You: 'tb'?

Stranger: Talking about

Stranger: Wyd tho?

You: Your fragile masculinity is laughable.

You: Would you believe me if I said I'm sucking a dick?

Stranger: Naw

Stranger: Are you

You: No.

Stranger: Why would you ask me then funny af🤣🤣

Stranger: I'm eating sum pussy rn so...

Stranger: 🤣

You: To see if you were as much of a creep as you come-

Yeah... I think I proved my point.

Stranger: I was just kidding calm tf down

Stranger: 😐😐

You: Fragile

Masculinity.

Stranger: Fradgile masculinity?

Stranger: Bitch enough big words we aint in school rn

You: School is for people who want to do something big in life.

All you wanna do is shun me for being smarter than you and shun guys for being gay.

Stranger: No idc if they gay so stop you dumb hoe

You: Then interact with men in the LGBT+ community... 'you dumb hoe'

Stranger: Prolly was sucking dick😂🙄

Stranger: Me nooo

Stranger: Your not getting me to do that who you think you is shorty😭🤣🤣

You: What does dick sucking have to do with you talking to a gay dude?

Stranger: I'm not talking to no gayyy dudeee

You: I have a bigger dick than you.

Stranger: Nada

You: Fragile fucking Masculinity

Stranger: Bitch I will fuck the back off you

You: I hope the fuck you do

Stranger: Arch that back hoe

You: You're either

A.) A perv

or B.) Rocking on fragile masculinity.

You have to choose one.

Stranger: You would be beggin for yo life if I eat that pussy how I wanted😛😈

Stranger: I'm not a perv or I'm not gay so...

Stranger: What color hair you got?

You: Fragile Masculinity means your so self conscious about someone being more 'manly' than you so you act tough around ladies to raise your personality points. And lemme tell ya, it aint workin.

It has nothing to do with being gay.

You: Why does that matter?

I'm never having your babies.

Stranger: Wtf that ain't me I was js I am not gay and keep the gay talk away from me but baby ion know where you got allat at butttt...

Stranger: Bitch I don't want you to have my babies

You: Gay talk-

Were you not fucking listening?

Being a man of fragile masculinity means you have self esteem issues about your manliness.

You: Then why ask?

Stranger: Ik what I am and you ain't about to clown me and tell me who I am you clowning fr baby🤣🤣😭

You: If I am a clown, what will you do?

Stranger: I don't

You: You do.

You: You really do.

Stranger: No I don't ouuu I would fuck the life out youuu

You: You do. Saying shit like "I would fuck the life out of you" proves it.

Stranger: But what you wanna tb

You: I wanna talk about your low self-esteem.

Stranger: Bet it up shorty

You: Or is it that your self-esteem is so high that you're afraid of lil' ol' me?

Stranger: And you must have problems about how you feel about yourself to be judging meee.😁

You: I'm living my best life.

Stranger: Who afraid of you bitch becuas I definitely am tf not

Stranger: Yea

You: Calling someone names in an argument really lowers your personality points.

Stranger: IDGAF 🤣

You: Yeah you do.

Stranger: Personality points🙄

Stranger: Yo ass is evil I like that😏😏

You: Then again, you were already at zero points, so now you're at negative-go-fuck-yourself points.

You: I take pleasure in reading that you like the evil in me.

Stranger: I get off on that😋😏

You: I bet you masturbate to CBT porn

Stranger: Evil is attractive

Stranger: To me

You: Good thing I'm not gonna ever see you in my life.

Stranger: And you got it written all over youuuu🥺😌

Stranger: See evil asl I luvvvv it

Stranger: Keep thinking positive baby

You: Good thing I don't 'luvvvv' you.

Stranger: Oh no that is luv not love

Stranger: Different meanings😘

You: Ah, luv is a pervert's version of love.

Stranger: Prostitute ass bitch stop hateing yo ass is insecure

Stranger: Fr🤣

Stranger: Just talk to me girlll😒

You: If I was a prostitute, I wouldn't be on here.

Secondly, you're insecure for thinking that I'm hating on you.

Stranger: Ik you are hahaha

You: I'm laughing so hard...

Stranger: I'm not thinking ik you are

Stranger: Go head laugh it up

You: You really think I'm laughing at your jokes?

I'm laughing at your insecurites.

You: insecurities*

Stranger: Bitch you pissing me off😒

Stranger: No I am not .

You: Good.

If you want me to stop, then talk to a fucking homosexual, you homophobe.

Stranger: Just talk normal

Stranger: Daum

You: This is my normal talk.

Stranger: Why you gotta constantly be tb sum gay or judging realshit girl if that was regular talk you gotta find better things to tb

Stranger: Wyd rn??

You: Talking to a dumbass.

Stranger: Here you go again bitch😍😂I do kinda luv that lil additude

You: I talk about great things, I just get ticked off when guys think they can treat girls like toys for their sex.

You: You think you can belittle me?

Stranger: Lmao and who is doing that??

You: You're really out here... on some fucking crack or something,

Stranger: Who is belittle you I was gon treat you good like fr b4 you started calling me names and judging you little bitch so don't think shit sweet

Stranger: Wasn't even belittle you but I'ma do it now because you brought it up so...

You: I don't care if you hate me. You're a stranger on the internet who is getting mad for some girl on Omegle.com talking shit.

Stranger: I'm not mad

Stranger: Lmaooo

Stranger: You think you getting to me naww

Stranger: Don't trip

You: I wish that were true.

You're struggling with your fragile masculinity, so you hide behind this persona of bravery and cockiness.

Stranger: Your funny tho fr

You: Learn to spell, numbnuts

Stranger: You were struggling with your masculinity who TF says that shit

You: Me.

Stranger: Your the first person I ever heard say that

You: Because no one else is like me.

Stranger: But shorty I wasn't tryna belittle you I wasn't tryna fuck nun of day I was just tryna make sum friends lmao

You: Well this 'shorty' will not be your friend simply because you have a small penis and you're afraid of me.

Stranger: I'm not afraid of you and my dick ain't small!

You: Prove it.

Stranger: How girl

You: Act like a big dick dude and prove you're not afraid.

Stranger: Girl Ik I'm not scared of youu

Stranger: .🤣

Stranger: I thought you ain't want no dick?

You: Prove you're not scared of me.

Also, I said I didn't want YOUR dick.

Stranger: Come grab this mfka then

You: What is there to grab?

Stranger: Slobber it all down😍

Stranger: Ykyk

You: I can't touch something non-existent.

Stranger: Yeah let's go ahead and play this game🤣

Stranger: Girl yk I got dickk

You: Act like it then.

Stranger: Don't even try to act like you dont.

You: Don't have a dick or don't want your micro-penis?

Stranger: I got dick promise ya girl😘

You: Well, stop calling me 'girl', firstly and then I'll consider believing you.

Stranger: What's your name here I'll treat you better

You: It's fucking Bob. I'm not telling you my name.

Stranger: Wow

Stranger: Girl

Stranger: Evil🥰🥰I luvvv it

You: No. Just staying private.

Stranger: It's okay I'm julian

You: You're very trusting.

Stranger: Thx

You: That's not good.

Stranger: You think I'm trustworthy that what you saying

Stranger: You bi polar huh

You: No. I'm saying you trust people too easily.

Also, no. I'm just blunt.

Stranger: I like it fr tho I think you is bi polar you be getting mad at me for no reasonnn

Stranger: Who said I trust?

You: I'm laughing. I'm not mad.

Stranger: I trust no one🤫

Stranger: Me too

You: What part of Arizona do you live in?

So I can maim you/

You: .*

Stranger: You in phx

You: Why would I tell you that?

Stranger: No I just don't give 2 fucxks what you gon do kill me?😂🙃

Stranger: Aint nobody onnat

You: If that's what it takes to get you to leave this conversation, then yes.

Stranger: If I meet up wit these bitches nun of them gon have me worried nun of them are gon press me

Stranger: .

Stranger: What's your issue nowww😭😭😭🤣

Stranger: You be having me rolling istg🤣

You: Just give up. You aren't going to win this battle. You're an issue and I'm losing brain cells listening to your grammar and incessant rambling.

Stranger: Bitch come suck my dick

Stranger: Idc

Stranger: Idc

You: No, I don't think I will.

Stranger: Thought you wanted dick?

You: Not yours.

Stranger: All you bitched want my dick🤫

You: Your dick is small. I asked you to prove that you even had a penis by acting like it. Are you fucking brainless?

Stranger: I got drug dealer swag baby I can give to fucs what you think bout me

Stranger: 😘

You: Ah, so you give me a reason to get you incarcerated?

Stranger: Bitch we anonymous

You: True, but I have my ways.

Stranger: You don't wanna take it their fr

You: I should probably head out before I become braindead. It wasn't nice talking to you.

Stranger: Like realshit

You: 'Kay, bye~

Stranger: Why you leaving

You: Because you're dumb. Why else?

Stranger: Okay I guess

Stranger: Could've had sum dick girl but...

Stranger: You ain't want nu

You: I'm a lesbian.

You have disconnected

[squaretfup]

Was reflecting on all the niggas who dogged me after I traveled to see them and was honestly gettin fuckin irritated bc so many folks on the twitter post tryna find reasons it's the girls fault. Like yeah, she should have been a lil more prepared for things to go south but she's literally fucking 18 like foresight is not really her thing! 18 don't make you grown! And a grown ass man KNOWS that!! She was misled and taken advantage of, point blank. So I was napping w bae as I'm thinkin about this and my brain starts to fabricate a world where he treated me like that (he would never!!!) and as we start wakin up he starts rubbin me and moaning in my ear and we make love and I know I aint got nun to worry about. It was needed and timely. But shout out to all the girls and women who travel for men who lie about liking them!! I know it's hard and you think it's your fault but tbh just don't spend no coins on these men you don't really know. Have some discretion and guard your heart. It's precious. It's men out here who can smell naivete and actively seek it out bc they're gross predators.