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petersasteria · 3 years

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hope ur ok || holland!reader

sour masterlist || holland!reader || sour taglist

3,637 words tw: sad shit bc spoiler: someone dies, italics are flashbacks, bold is a letter i don't have a holland reader banner so i used the olivia banner instead. also, sorry for the delay of posting this lmao

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You were in your room, sitting on your bed as your eyes looked around. Your room was painted your favorite color and it made your brothers jealous because their rooms were painted white, it was boring. Yours had posters, polaroids of you and your siblings, fairy lights, a bean bag chair, and a simple full body mirror. You heard a knock on your door and you looked to see that it was Tom smiling brightly with a plate of your favorite cookies.

“Hey.” He said softly as he entered the room and shut the door behind him with his foot while balancing the plate of cookies in his hands.

“Hi.” You smiled.

“Sam kicked me out of the kitchen, but I was there first and fortunately, I finished the cookies on time. I hope they taste alright.” Tom said as he sat beside you, the plate of cookies in between you.

“They smell good, so you did a good job.” You chuckled. Tom took one cookie and looked at you, “Taste test.”

He took a bite and chewed it a few times before saying, “It tastes alright. It’s not like how Sam makes it, but I’m not Sam. I’m Tom.”

Both of you erupted into a fit of giggles as you talked about random things. The plate of cookies were now on your bedside table and only half of the cookies were eaten.

“Hey, how’s your friend?” Tom asked casually. Both of you were laying on your bed, facing the ceiling.

“Which friend?”

“The blond one who had one hell of a musical talent.” Tom said. “He used to come here and play on Sam’s piano.”

“Oh, James! I don’t really know what happened to him. We, uh, fell out of touch.”

“I see.” Tom said. “I hope he’s okay.”

“Same here.” You told him. “My friend, Madeline, got a scholarship last time I checked. She got accelerated in school and she got to attend uni ahead of us. I’m really proud of her, y’know?”

“Where is she now?” Tom asked.

You looked at Tom with sorrow in your eyes. He glanced at you and he could see how hurt you were. “We don’t talk...anymore. We used to. She’s basically like a sister to me, but we don’t talk anymore. Regardless, I’m really happy for her and I miss her. Wherever she is, I hope she’s alright.”

Suddenly, there was a knock on your door and Tom sat up quickly. The door opened and revealed Sam. “Hey, it’s time to eat dinner. You’re washing the dishes tonight, Tom!” Sam said before leaving.

“That little shit.” Tom laughed. “C’mon, Y/N. Let’s eat!” He got up from your bed and you followed suit with worry and concern in your eyes. You shook your head and shrugged it off. What you’ll say can wait.

Both of you went down to join everyone on the dining table. You sat in your usual seat, but didn’t contribute in the conversation. You were just happy to be there. You looked around and saw how happy your brothers were. You looked at your parents and saw them smiling. It was a beautiful sight to see. After all, all you wanted was for them to be happy. They deserve to be happy.

Harry and Tom cleaned up as you watched them help each other. “Next time, we should cook Y/N’s favorite dinner.” Tom said. Harry looked at him and shrugged, “Why not? I never liked it, but I’m sure she’d appreciate it very much.”

The next few days were spent with Tom. He never left your side and he made sure you were alright. You were the youngest and as the eldest Holland child, he made it his job to look after you. He wasn’t close with you before, but somehow as you grew older, it changed. Tom was now excited to spend time with you. He loved talking to you and he loved laughing with you. In his opinion, you make his stress and worries fade away.

Your birthday is coming up and he wanted everything planned out. He already had plans, actually. He knew what cake you wanted, he knew what decorations to put up, he planned the food, and he even had a theme in mind. He was really prepared. Paddy had to go with Tom in town just to buy balloons. Tom was really going all out.

“Are you going to help me set up tonight? Y/N’s birthday is tomorrow and I want her to be surprised when she wakes up. I can already imagine her face.” Tom smiled excitedly as he parked the car in the driveway.

“I can’t help you tonight. I have homework.” Paddy said as he looked at Tom who just shrugged. “Alright. No problem. Stay in school, Pads.” Tom smiled before exiting his car with Paddy following him.

They walked in and Tom saw you sitting on the arm of the couch with Sam and Harry. Tom smiled at the sight. “Hey, guys!” He greeted, causing the three of you to look at Tom and Paddy.

“Wow, you went shopping for a lot of things.” Harry pointed out.

“Yeah, what’s up with that?” Sam asked with a grin.

“Nothing.” Tom smirked. “I’ll put these in my room.” Tom left and went upstairs to his room as Paddy walked to the couch and sat next to you. You looked at Paddy and smiled. You weren’t close with him, but you loved him dearly. You were only one year younger than him and he was always kind to you and you liked hanging out with him.

You looked at Sam and Harry and you held back a chuckle as you watch them annoy each other. It was a lovely sight to see.

Night time came and dinner was over a few hours ago. You were just standing in your backyard feeling the wind blowing and you knew that something was about to happen. You just didn’t know what. The backdoor opened and you turned around to see Tom with a small smile.

“What’re you doing out here? It’s cold.” He said as he tugged his jacket closer. He walked towards you and stood beside you. “What’s on your mind?”

You shrugged, “Nothing. I guess I’m just tired. I think I’ll rest now.”

Tom nodded. He suddenly remembered his plan and said, “Yeah, you can go upstairs now. I, uh, prepared your room.”

“Thank you.” You smiled at him. You walked towards the back door and stopped to turn around to look at Tom. He was already looking at you and you said, “I- Good night, Tom.”

“Good night, Y/N. Sweet dreams.” He smiled sweetly. You opened the door and walked in and went straight up the stairs to your room.

Tom stayed outside for a minute before walking in. He locked the back door and went to the living room where his brothers were. “Hey, guys! Ready to decorate?” Tom asked with a huge smile on his face. It was evident that he was excited.

“What’re you talking about?” Sam asked, looking at Tom with a confused face.

“Yeah, what’s happening?” Paddy questioned.

Tom scoffed and crossed his arms, “How could you guys forget?! It’s our sister’s birthday tomorrow and you guys aren’t preparing at all!”

Tom was yelling as the rest were looking at him sadly. Sam’s eyes were clouded with tears as he looked at Tom. Harry and Paddy looked at Sam, not wanting to be the ones to remind Tom. Sam sighed and closed his eyes and his tears fell. He wiped his tears and opened his eyes to face Tom.

“Tom, mate, she’s dead.” Sam said softly. “She’s been dead for two months now.”

“W-What are you talking about?” Tom shook his head slowly. He looked away from Sam and he saw you standing behind Sam. “She’s right there, Sam! She’s literally right behind you! How can you not see it?!”

“Tom, stop! She’s gone, okay?!” Harry exclaimed. “Y/N’s not here! She won’t be here anymore and it’ll be that way forever. We just have to accept that.”

“It was leukemia, Tom. She didn’t make it and we had a funeral and everything.” Paddy said softly.

You were confined in the hospital for about a week now and you were getting weaker and weaker as the days went on. Your family was trying to be positive, but all of you knew that it was your time to go. Before you were confined, you had written letters for them to read after you die and it was now hidden in their drawers.

Tom and Harry weren’t there when you passed because they were in a different country. They immediately went home when they heard the news. All of you knew that you weren’t going to make it, but all of you ignored that fact. Everyone except Tom was grieving. He held his mother as she cried and he stayed strong for his brothers. He couldn’t remember the last time he and his brothers slept in one room and he hated that they chose to do it again as soon as you were gone.

It was like a sleepover. They all talked about you and everything you did that the others didn’t know about. Turns out, you had secrets you shared with everyone except Tom.

“Wait, she told you guys about her secrets?” Tom asked that night.

“Yeah.” Harry nodded, eyes bloodshot from all the crying. “If something happens to her, she tells the first person she sees.”

“She never told me anything.” Tom stated.

“That’s because you’re the eldest. No one tells people about themselves to the eldest sibling.” Paddy answered.

“That’s unfortunate.” Tom frowned. “I wish I knew the things you knew.” He added.

“It’s alright, Tom. She didn’t have major secrets, anyway. Besides, she was just scared to tell you. That’s why she did that.” Sam explained.

Tom couldn’t sleep that night as he looked at his brothers. They were cuddled up next to each other and were fast asleep. Tom couldn’t help but think of you before finally drifting off. Days later, it was the funeral. The whole house was quiet and while your mum, Nikki, would appreciate it, for once in her life she wanted the noise. She wanted to hear boisterous laughing, heavy footsteps running up and down the stairs, yelling, the sound of Sam cutting vegetables, Dom’s loud typing, Paddy talking to his friend on the phone, Harry telling you to wake up and calling you a lazy bum for not being productive, and Tom playing with Tessa outside. Now, there was none of that.

When a husband or wife dies, the one they left behind is called a widow. When a child dies, what do you call their parents? No one’s ever come up with a word for that yet because it’s too painful to think about. You were young and you deserved all the best life has to offer. Nikki was devastated, but she knew that wherever you were, you aren’t in pain anymore and that was enough for her.

Tom wanted to scream, but he didn’t. He was numb. After the funeral, he and Harry decided to take a break from traveling to spend time with the rest of the family. He stopped working for a while and everyone understood that.

When they got home, Tom went straight to his room and cried. He cried and cried until no tears came out. His head ached, but he didn’t want to get up and get himself a glass of water. He grabbed his phone from the bedside table to ask Harry, but his phone died. Tom scoffed, sat up, and reached the drawer of his bedside table. He leaned over to look for his phone charger, but he saw a letter instead. It had his name on it and he realized that it was your handwriting. Tom quickly grabbed it and put his phone back on the bedside table. He opened the envelope and read what you wrote for him.

Dear Tom,

Hi. When you read this, you know that I'm gone. I'm sorry that we never got to bond a lot. I guess it's my fault because I was so scared of you. Despite that, I want you to know that I'm really happy for you and I'm proud of you.

You're my inspiration and please know that I'm very proud to be your sister.

I don't know where I'll end up when I'm gone, but please don't worry about me. I'll be okay, I can feel it. I'll just go where the wind takes me.

You're a kind person for the whole time I've known you. I'll miss everything and I'll miss your pranks and jokes. Please never stop doing those just because I'm gone. I hope you think of me whenever you tell a joke or pull a prank on Harry again.

I wish we bonded more. I wish we made cookies until Sam kicked us out of the kitchen because he needed to prepare for dinner. I wish we watched movies together and I wish we spoke often.

I'll miss you all the time and I love you. So much. Never forget that.

Your sister,

Y/N/N x

Tom cried again until he slept with the letter resting on his chest. The next morning, he got up to go to your room. He dreamt of you and he wanted to tell you about it. He glanced at the door and noticed that it was unlocked. He slowly opened it and to his surprise, he saw you standing there watching everyone outside from your window.

“Y/N.” Tom said.

You turned around and smiled at him, “Hey, Tom.”

“I dreamt of you! And in my dream, you were a ballet dancer. We did ballet together. Wouldn't that be something? It could be a bonding thing for us." Tom said with a big smile as he fully entered your room. All of a sudden, he forgot about your sickness, your death, your sickness. From an outsider's point of view, it was a sad sight to see. He was clearly in the denial stage.

Harry was on his way downstairs when he heard a voice coming from your room. He quietly opened the door and saw Tom excitedly talking to thin air.

"You know, I'm not doing anything anytime soon. Why don't we go out? It'll just be you and me, Y/N." Tom smiled. Harry's heart broke upon hearing this. His older brother was imagining their dead sister. Harry kept it to himself because he thought that Tom was coping that way.

It wasn't until Sam witnessed the same thing. Tom was in the kitchen and he was talking to thin air once more. Sam watched as Tom laughed and said a bunch of things. Sam kept it to himself too.

Paddy, however, was different. He went to Harry and Sam's room, unannounced. He closed and locked the door behind him as the twins looked at him in confusion.

"Okay, I can't be the only one to notice it." Paddy said with arms crossed.

"What're you talking about?" Harry asked.

"Tom." Was all Paddy said. The twins looked at each other before looking back at Paddy.

"What about him?" Sam asked, his eyebrows were raised a bit.

"Tom told me that he'll bake Y/N's favorite cookies tomorrow because Y/N said she was craving for it." Paddy explained.

"I saw Tom talking to thin air the day after the funeral. He was in Y/N's room." Harry confessed.

"I saw him doing that too, but he was in the kitchen this time. I'm worried about him." Sam said.

"What should we do?" Harry asked with a frown on his face.

"Let's just let him be for a while. Let’s just intervene when it gets out of hand.” Sam decided as the other two nodded.

They just let Tom be until they had enough.

Tom couldn't believe what his brothers were telling him. He felt sick to his stomach. His baby sister was gone and the thought of it ate him alive. He shook his head and Sam said, “Tom, everything will be alright. We’ll get through this together. We’ll be fine.”

“That can’t be true. I’ve been speaking to her. Stop fucking lying.” Tom cried.

“Tom, wake up! She’s not here, alright?! She’s not in her room anymore. Her things will forever be untouched and her books will be dusty. Her phone hasn’t been charged since she died and it’ll stay that way. All we have left are pictures, videos, and memories of her. We should accept that because no matter what happens, we can’t bring her back!” Harry said as his voice was raised.

“Just go to bed, mate. You’re tired.” Paddy said softly. “We’ll deal with this in the morning.”

Tom wiped his tears and went up to his room, slamming the door. He went to sleep and dreamt of you again. Both of you were on top of a small hill and the wind was blowing softly.

“Why can’t they see you?” Tom asked you.

“Because I only showed myself to you. I know that we haven’t been really close and I figured you’d want some kind of closure. In truth, I’m only here because of you. The light has been calling me and they want me to leave already, but I can’t because I know you’d be sad. I hate seeing you sad.” You explained.

“Then stay here.” Tom begged, but you shook your head.

“You need to let me go, Tom. It’s time. I can’t stay here forever.” You chuckled lightly.

“I just- I feel like nothing. When you were around, I felt like I had a purpose. Now, I just wish I could be with you.” He admitted.

“Don’t say that. Imagine how everyone will react if you’re gone. They’ll be upset. I’m so proud that you’re alive and well because you’ll get to go on with life and grow old. If you can’t do it for yourself, then do it for me. Live the life I never got to live. Trust me when I say that you’ll be happier when you move on.”

“I don’t want to forget you and I don’t want you to think that we’re having fun without you.” He said.

“I won’t think that way because all I ever wanted for all of you is to be happy and healthy. I love you and I miss you, but I want you to have fun and to keep doing everything you love. Don’t stop because I’m gone. Don’t let me be a hindrance because that’ll make me sad and I’ll haunt you forever.” You said as Tom chuckled. “Besides, you don’t have to forget about me. I’ll always be in your heart.”

“Alright.” Tom said. “I think I’m ready to let you go.”

You smiled and nodded as you walked away and stepped into the light. Tom shouted, “Happy birthday, Y/N!”

You looked back and smiled. With that, he knew you were thanking him not just for greeting, but also for everything.

Tom woke up and it was already morning. He decided to get ready and to head to the cemetery. He walked downstairs and saw his brothers eating breakfast.

“Where are you going?” Harry asked before eating his cereal.

“The cemetery. It’s Y/N’s birthday.” Tom said. “I’ll go now. I don’t know what time I’ll be back.”

Tom left and the drive to the cemetery was short and quiet. He parked the car and walked to your grave. He smiled when he saw a small, framed picture of you that Harry placed there not too long ago. He sat in front of your grave and smiled, “Hey, Y/N. I know you can hear me.”

“I guess I did look crazy for a while and I now understand how everyone felt. I, um, I read your letter. I’m sorry too, y’know? I’m sorry I never made the effort to spend time with you. I guess it’s because all my life, I’ve only known about having brothers and when you came along, I didn’t know how to act. But I’m really happy that I got to see you grow up and I’m happy with our few moments together.”

“When you were five, I was fourteen. It’s a wide gap and I remember being so annoyed because your toys were everywhere.” He chuckled at the thought. “Regardless, I loved you and I still do. I’m happy that you grew up to be kind and loving. I’m really fucking happy for that.”

“In your letter, you said that I shouldn’t worry about you. Y/N, I’m sorry, but I can’t promise that. I’m your older brother and that automatically makes me sort of like a second parent especially when mum and dad aren’t around. So, I’ll always worry about you even though I know you’re okay and not in pain.”

“I do, however, promise to always dedicate my pranks to you. I know you’d love that. I’d wish that we bonded, but we already did that. You gave me a chance to get to know the sister I never got to know and that, above all, makes me so happy and grateful. That’s enough for me.”

“I don’t want to say cheesy shit and ask for guidance. I don’t want to burden you in heaven. Like, it’s called a resting place for a reason and I want you to rest easy. I just want to say that I miss you so much and I love you. Happy birthday.” He finished.

Just then, he felt the wind blow in his direction and he knew that you were okay.

* * * *

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#tom holland #harry holland #sam holland #paddy holland #holland!reader #tom holland x holland!reader #petersasteria #k's works #sour album

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fandom-puff · 4 years

Note

hi i have a request! imagine for tommy he picked you up at the bar so he doesn’t know you very well but you guys ~do the nasty~ and later he overhears from your one friend telling lizzie that you faked your orgasm and he hunts you down determined to make you cum for real

HI! thanks so much for this request- I adored writing it!

Word count: 3.3k

Warnings: SMUTSMUTSMUTSMUT also swearing bc... peaky blinders?

It was the grand opening of the Shelbys’ new bar, and naturally, almost all of Small Heath was crammed into the main room. The whiskey and gin (from Shelby Company Limited, of course) was flowing, and the Swing Band was playing loudly, much to the joy of the inebriated men and women dancing. You hummed to yourself, touching up your lipstick before calling for another round for you and your girlfriends, Ada and Lizzie. “You want another drink, Linda? Maybe just stout?” you asked, getting your coin purse out.

“Don’t bother yourself. I won’t succumb to that temptation. Just tonic water for me,” you rolled your eyes and soon received your drinks. “So you won’t touch gin, but you’ll happily play in the snow, eh?” Ada smirked, winking at you as she sipped her drink. You spluttered into your own.

“Come on, ladies,” you said, sensing the tension growing between sisters-in-law. “Let’s dance before the band starts playing that American rubbish,”

Together, you joined in with the dancing, giggling and cheering each other on. “C’mon Lizzie! Spin me around! I wanna be twirled,” you squealed, and the taller woman happily complied. You were new to the company, and she wanted to make you feel welcome before the boys scared you off. Soon you left the dancefloor, leaving the girls, to get another drink. You arrived at the bar, giggling and breathless, and ordered your favourite drink.

“Miss YLN,” a low voice rumbled next to you as the bartender poured your drink. “I don’t believe we’ve properly met. Been keeping the books, eh? My brother John says you’ve very neat handwriting, and hardly cross any number out,” You nodded as your eyes met Thomas Shelby’s.

“Oh… yes, Mr Shelby,” you murmured. “I try to make them neat so you lot don’t get muddled up,” you said. He nodded. The bartender put your drink in front of you and you reached for your purse. Tommy stopped you and gestured to the bartender that your drink ought to be on the house.

He soon took you into the side room, kicking Finn and Isiah out. “My secretary, Lizzie, recommended you to me,” he said as you perched opposite him. He lit a cigarette, rubbing it along his lip before taking a drag. “And I’ve been trying to figure you out. Couldn’t find anything,”

“I didn’t grow up ‘round here. When my mum died I took her maiden name. Most of her lot were killed. The Somme, I think,”

“And your dad?” he asked, watching you as you drank.

“The bastard died in France too, as far as I know. But I left home after Mum died. That was before the war,”

An hour later, you were still talking, although the pair of you had drained a bottle of whiskey. You were giggly and warm when drunk, but Tommy only closed in more. This didn’t bother you in the slightest. You leaned forward and smirked. “So, Mr Shelby, do I meet your approval, eh?”You were so close to him, and your pupils were dilated with what could only be described as a mixture of inebriation and desire.

“Yes. Yes, you do. C’mere,” he grunted, dragging you into his lap. He pressed his lips to yours in a bruising kiss, his hand already running up your thigh. You groaned and wriggled, sucking his lip into your mouth, grinding your heat onto his tenting trousers. He growled, unbuckling his belt and shoving his trousers down, and tearing your knickers down. He stood up, bending you over the table, before rutting into you animalistically. You whimpered, crying out, pushing back into him. His thrusts soon became sloppy, and you reached to stroke your pulsing clit- but he grabbed your hand as soon as he saw you moving, pinning you down and shouting out his release. It was a good job the band had started playing a popular song, otherwise, the whole of Birmingham would have heard you.

You panted, expecting him to carry on thrusting to bring you over the edge. Instead, you heard the sound of a belt buckle and the door slamming shut.

The experience sobered you up slightly and you straightened your dress, fixing your lipstick and hair before slipping out of the side room. You bumped into Lizzie and told her you were going home, as you were working in the morning. She nodded and took in your dishevelled (despite your best efforts) appearance. “Get some rest,” she said knowingly, giving you a wink.

The next day, you arrived at work despite your headache. You lit a lamp, as it was still a little dark out, and started on the books, flicking through the notes scribbled by various members of the Shelby clan. You worked in peace for ten minutes before Lizzie and Pol came into the room, chatting.

“There she is. How’s your head?” Lizzie grinned, sliding you some aspirin. You smiled gratefully and took the tablets.

“Holy shit,” Pol commented, staring at the bruise on your throat. You blushed deeply and tugged your collar closed. You hated wearing this blouse buttoned all the way up, but needs must.

“Wild night, eh?” Lizzie asked, getting her own paperwork sorted as Pol went to fix tea.

“Not really,” You sighed, looking down. You wanted to ground to swallow you whole.

“Oh, piss off. You came out of that side room five minutes after Tommy, looking like you’d been dragged through a hedge backwards, and you show up to work with a dirty great love bite on your throat,” she grinned. “I’m not judging you, by the way. If anything I’m impressed. He’s been a right prick lately,”

“And he was a right prick last night,” you hissed. “Moody bastard, and a lousy fuck as well. Didn’t even finish me off, I had to fake it in the end,” you glared down at your paperwork. Lizzie chuckled and rubbed your shoulder gently. Polly came back into the room with the cups and teapot, pouring for you all.

“So who’s the man? Boyfriend we haven’t heard of?” She asked, smirking.

“It was Tommy, Pol,” Lizzie explained. You kept your eyes down. “Apparently he’s a lousy fuck. Our poor YN was treated worse than the back alley whores by the sounds of it,”

Prolly frowned and set your tea in front of you. “Wouldn’t think a lousy fuck would leave that mark,” she said slyly. “Use a cold spoon and some powder when you get home,” she advised.

“And then tonight, go dancing and get a man who’ll treat you right, eh?” Said Lizzie. “You deserve better than someone rutting against you like a dog,”

The two women had cheered you up significantly and you smiled weakly until Arthur’s loud voice cut across your conversation.

“Rutting like a dog? Was that what you and Tommy were up to last night?” He grinned, having overheard, and you flushed angrily.

“Hey, no need to be embarrassed, YN, you are a pretty little thing-” he said, his smile dropping when he saw that his banter wasn’t making you laugh like normal.

“No. I’m not embarrassed. If anything, I’d be embarrassed for your brother. Who would’ve thought Thomas Shelby didn’t know his way around a woman, let alone how to properly please her!” You turned around. “Pol, I’m going home. My head is banging and I need to concentrate on these books. Arthur’s done all the adding up wrong. Dock my pay if need be,” You took the heavy leather-bound book and tucked it under your arm, before storming out of the betting shop, right past Tommy without even noticing.

The peace of your home was what you needed. You brewed yourself a pot of tea with the nice teabags you had picked up from the market, and settled yourself at your rickety old desk, going through the books and copying them up neatly, and more importantly, precisely. You even hummed to yourself, soon letting the stress of the previous night slowly fade away.

That was until there was a sharp knock on your door. You sighed, getting up. There was another knock. “Alright! I’m coming. Rent’s not due for another week, though!” You called, going to take the door off the latch.

There in the doorway, in all his glory, was your boss. His cap was drawn over his face and he blew out a breath of smoke. “YN. Can I come in?”

You wanted nothing more than to slam the door in his face and lock it, put the chain on and drown him out with your rusty gramophone. But-

“Fine. But put that cigarette out before you step over my threshold. The last tenant was a bad smoker and I’ve only just got the smell out of the cushions,” when the door shut, you turned around, crossing your arms. “What do you want, Mr Shelby?”

“Mr Shelby, is it now?” He asked, smirking. “That’s no way to greet a guest, is it. Are you going to offer me a drink?”

“No, I’m not. You don’t take me as one for cold tea with no milk,” you quipped. “What do you want?”

He arched his brow, looking you up and down as if you were a fresh cut from the butcher. You stood a little straighter, determined not to look small. “What I want, YN, is to know what your little fuss was about earlier on,” he said lowly.

You scoffed. “Oh please. You know exactly what it was about, and even if you didn’t, I’m sure the boys would’ve informed you,” you said coldly. “If you must know, I was pissed. Still am. Because I let you… have me. And I’m pissed because you treated me like a common whore, and I’m pissed because everyone knows and will think less of me,” you said, flushing, brow furrowed.

“And what’s all this about being a lousy fuck, eh?” He asked, face like stone.

“Oh you heard that part well enough, didn’t you?” You suppressed an annoyed laugh. “It’s true. You are a lousy fuck. D’you bend all your women over and hump them like a dog in heat or am I just special?”

“YN…,” he said, voice low, standing up and walking to you.

“You know, I’ve had better shags when I was a teenager. At least the lads I used to go out with had the decency to finish me off once their balls were empty!” You ranted, unaware of him stalking closer and closer, like a panther on the prowl.

He pushed you against the wall, arms braced either side of your head. You gulped. Had you pushed him too far? You looked up at him through your lashes, and couldn’t help but lick your lips, your breath already becoming shallow. “Finish you off, eh? Is that what you want?” He asked lowly, leaning to growl in your ear, sending a shiver that crawled all over your skin and made your eyelashes flutter.

You bit your lip and nodded. “Y-yes…” you whispered.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes please, Mr Shelby,”

That was all he needed. He gripped your hips and pulled them tight against his, kissing you ferociously, his hands gripping, squeezing, stroking every inch of you he could reach. You moaned against his mouth and scrabbled at his heavy coat and jacket, pushing them to the floor. You began fumbling with his belt when he grabbed your wrists, holding the, above your head.

“Ah Ah Ah,” he said roughly. “I intend to make up for last night. And believe me, YN, I’m feeling particularly generous tonight,” He hoisted you up by the thighs and held you against him, carrying you to your bedroom and kicking the door shut. He deposited you onto the bed, before looking down at you. “Dress. Off.” He demanded, and you all too eagerly complied, much to his satisfaction, casting it aside, quickly followed by your slip, leaving you in your knickers and bra. He chuckled darkly at your eagerness, and when you went to undo your garter and stockings, he halted your hands, shaking his head. You nodded obediently and watched as he kneeled down in front of you. You pressed your knees together, but he tutted and caressed your legs, from ankle to thigh.

“Don’t be shy, YN,” he murmured.

“No one’s ever…” you whispered, shifting your thighs together. He cocked his brow up and smirked.

“No one’s ever what, pet?” He asked, pushing your thighs apart and making quick work of your stockings. “Tasted you? Not even all those boys who knew how to please you, eh?”

You nodded and bit your lip, gasping at the new sensation of his hot breath skittering across your core as he pressed filthy, open-mouthed kisses against your heat. He nipped the inside of your thighs to get you to spread them further and inhale your musk, shuddering at the scent of your arousal.

“You won’t even remember your own fucking name once I’m through with you, love,” he promised, stroking his finger lazily up the seam of your underwear, pressing it against your clit. You clenched your fists into the sheets, thighs already trembling. This did not go unnoticed, and Tommy chuckled darkly at your desperation. “So responsive,” he murmured, dragging your underwear down torturously slowly, before burying his face between your legs. You whimpered as you felt his tongue running up your slit, gathering your arousal before he swallowed with a groan, gripping your thighs tightly and holding them apart. He traced your sopping folds with the very point of his tongue, his nose occasionally bumping your swollen clit, but giving it nowhere near enough attention for your liking.

“Tommy please!” You whimpered after at least ten minutes of him scrubbing the flat of his tongue against your heat, nipping at your thighs, and even pushing his tongue into you. He pulled away and looked up at you with raised eyebrows, your slick glistening obscenely on his chin.

“Please, what, YN? Use your words,” he demanded.

“Please, touch me!” You cried, shifting your hips, trying to get some friction to your needy clit.

“Touch you where YN? I can’t help you if you don’t tell me,” he said smirking cockily, pinning your hips down to still you.

“On my… my… here!” You whimpered, reaching a hand down to flick at your throbbing nub. “Please, Tommy, please!”

He growled and knocked your hand away, instantly attaching his lips to it, sucking like a man starved and flicking his tongue under the hood. You cried out and tipped your head back, gripping whatever handful of hair you could, swearing like a sailor. “Oi. Watch. Eyes on me.” He commanded, although slightly muffled by your writhing hips. You whined softly but nodded, focusing on watching the gorgeous man devouring you. Your eyes fluttered when you felt a familiar tension building up in the pit of your belly, your clit beginning to throb against his tongue. Your breath came in sharp gasps, and you bucked your hips up, desperate to tip over the edge, so close already-

Then… nothing.

You groaned, glaring down at the man before you, who still held all the power despite being on his knees. You whined trying to grab him back. “What the fuck? Please, I was so close!” You said, intending to sound angry, but actually sounding needy and desperate. He grinned.

“I know,” Bastard. He repeated this routine several times, bringing you right up to the edge, but dragging you away at the last moment, until you were practically sobbing with need. When he had taken his fill of your nectar, he worshipped your breasts, sucking and nipping and kissing and lathing his tongue over your nipples until you were writhing, arching your back, convinced you would cum from this stimulation alone.

“Please, Tommy!” You whined, fingers tangled in his cropped hair as he sucked a dark mark on your breast. “Please, Tommy, you’ve proved your point, please!” You sounded pathetic, begging like a whore, but to be quite frank, you could give a bigger fuck if you tried. “Just… please, Tommy, I need you. Need to feel you,” you whispered, stroking his jaw as he resurfaced, his piercing eyes trained on yours. “Need you to fill me up, claim me… I’m yours, Tom. Don’t you want to feel me cumming all over your cock?”

Your words were meant to rile Tommy up, but they made you shift and whimper and buck despite yourself. “Good girl,” he whispered. “I’m very impressed with you. I’m going to fuck you, YN, and I’m going to do it properly,” You nodded eagerly and watched with glazed eyes as he discarded his waistcoat, shirt and trousers. You licked your lips as he dropped his underwear, groaning at the sight of his long, thick cock bouncing free, already leaking.

All for you.

You whimpered as Tommy crawled up the mattress towards you, already spreading your legs for him. “Please,” you whispered, reaching for him. He nodded, slowly pushing himself into you, bracing his elbows either side of your head. You cried out at the stretch of him, arching your back to press into his warm chest. Already, you were digging your nails into his back, and he grunted at the feeling of your walls clenching onto him for dear life.

“Fucking hell,” he groaned into your neck, drawing back almost completely, before driving back into you with slow, measured movements, his forehead pressed to yours as he fucked you slowly, yet each thrust was ended with a sharp snap of his hips. You whined out, throbbing around him, trying to meet his thrusts with faster, needier ones of your own.

“More, Tommy, more!” you cried out, scrabbling your nails down his back, clinging to his shoulder blades. You raised your legs to wrap them around his waist, angling your hips up more, eyes rolling at the deeper penetration gained by the new angle. “Please, faster,” you begged, writhing eagerly beneath him. “Please?” you whimpered, practically sobbing with need.

Tommy grunted and nodded, holding you tight to him as he fucked you harder, faster, more relentlessly, growling into your ear, before suckling dark marks down your throat and to your collarbone. Moaning, he pistoned his hips into you, each thrust bumping delicious pressure onto your aching clit. It was too much.

You moaned wantonly, arching your back and biting his shoulder. “Fuck Tommy, I’m gonna cum,” you whined, clinging to him, not wanting him to pull away before your release again.

“Good girl,” he groaned. “Cum around my cock, love, that’s what you want. That’s what I want,” he grunted, his thrusts sloppy and harsh. With his permission, you yelped out, crying his name as you came, seeing white spots, even when you clenched your eyes shut. Feeling you clench around him like a vice, he shouted his release, spurting into you, filling you with his hot cum.

Panting, he pulled out, and for a moment you worried he would buckle up his belt and leave you like a whore again, but the mattress dipped beside you as he lay down. He drew you into his side, holding you close.

“You alright?” he murmured, kissing the top of your head. “You okay, love?” you nodded, resting your head on his chest, breathing deeply.

“I-I… more than alright,” you murmured, causing him to chuckle. He lit a cigarette and grinned, rubbing your side as you drew the covers around you both.

“So, still think I’m a lousy fuck, eh?” he smirked. You grinned and looked up, reaching to kiss him.

“Not sure,” you said cheekily. “That might have been a fluke. You’ll have to repeat that display a few more times so I know you didn’t just get lucky,”

“Oh, I got lucky all right,” he smirked. “Sleep. We’ll take the day off work tomorrow, and I’ll show you that wasn’t a fluke, eh?”

#tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby #peaky blinders #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders imagine #smut #tommy shelby smut #tommy shelby x you #prompt #request #sorry jesus

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vanchlo · 4 years

Text

The Firsts / #6, “The First Festivities”

*not my gifs*

---> NEXT BLURB: Coming soon, I hope! Keep an eye on the series masterlist for updates!

READ THE ASSISTANT, AKA WHAT CAME FIRST

SERIES MASTERLIST

READ ON WATTPAD

LEGEND:

+ : a break in the story; a time jump.

and i’m too lazy for italics bc tumblr ignores formatting that i do in Docs so sorry i give up

WARNINGS: Prepare for some angst and sadness, but don’t worry it’ll be ok c:

WORD COUNT: 8.7k

SONG: Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney (click to listen)

sneAAAAAAAKY PEEK!

“Because loving somebody means loving them when they’re okay and when they’re not okay. I knew that’s what I was signing up for when I started loving you, so long ago. I knew that you could be a good person, Harry, and you are. I knew that just because you’re okay one day doesn’t mean that you will be the next day and every day after that,” I tell him, lacing the fingers of my other hand with his limp ones. His unblinking eyes fill with tears and then drain of them, staring ahead and disagreeing with mine. “Please let me help, and come home with me. I’ll stay with you.”

“All I can say is that you make me... you make me into someone I couldn't even imagine. You make me happy, even when you're awful. I would rather be with you - even the you that you seem to think is diminished - than with anyone else in the world.”

― Jojo Moyes, Me Before You

The tiny tree drowning in miniature lights and ornaments taunts me as I pour the pale creamer into the steaming mug. Clucking my tongue, I drop a spoon into the beige colored abyss. I begin to stir it in never ending circles as my flats carry me down the hallway.

“You know, the break room looks more like Christmas than your house,” I jest, turning to close the door behind me.

“If ‘s such a problem t’ you then why dontcha do sumthin’ ‘bout it?” they remark sarcastically, turning to face me with an eyebrow raised in my direction. A corner of his mouth quirks upwards as I shake my head with a bemused smile.

“What do you call what I’m doing right now, huh?” I reply, handing the mug of coffee to him.

“I call it bullyin’ me into submission, Ms. Lawyer,” Harry giggles, bringing the hot mug to his lips.

“All I can say is that I learned from the best,” I shrug and he shakes his head into his mug. “Ugh, I don’t know how you can drink coffee when it’s so hot. You must have no taste buds left, anymore.”

His laugh tickles the air as he swallows, moving to set it down on a frosted black coaster beside his keyboard. Smiling, he licks his lips before they part, “Reckon I don’t anymo’ then, maybe that’s why I liked yer poppy seed bread befo’ you told me you’d doused it in icing t’ hide tha fact it was burnt,” Harry chuckles, and I press my smiling lips together. Shaking my head, his giggle nudges at my own lips framed by flamed cheeks.

“Hush,” I say, turning away and walking towards his sofa where my purple knit blanket has found a new home with my Macbook.

“And what if I don’t?” he teases, taking hold of my waist and stopping behind me where I feel his breath on my ear.

“Really?” I ask in a titter, moving my body to face him and his ethereal looking smile. A sight I had gone so long without seeing that I wasn’t sure if it could find its home anymore.

“Really really,” he grins, dipping to leave kisses along my cheeks. My eyes fall shut with a smile accompanying it, and I enjoy the feeling of his lips along my temple, and then my cheek. It still feels so new, all over again, and I won’t let what came before it shadow it.

“I think you should get a tree, Harry, it’s Christmas next week, babe.”

“Then come with me t’ tha tree farm t’night,” he murmurs against my skin, followed by my intake of air when his teeth sink into my ear. Our giggles mingle when he releases it and continues his journey down my neck.

“Wait, really?” I ask excitedly, pulling away to find his lips falling into a frown. “You’re finally agreeing to go all out with me? The real tree, decorating the tree while cookies bake in the oven and-.”

“Yes,” he answers hurriedly, his lips considerably closer to mine than they were a second ago.

“Watching Christmas movies together with a fire in the fireplace, exchanging presents on Christmas morning-.”

“Yes, Becks. Whatever you’d like, love,” he wheezes with that light once again on his face. My favorite kind of sunshine. “Now, would ya stop talkin’ so I can bloody kiss ya already?” and I nod, soon smiling into his lips that press a long kiss to mine. “Think they’ll even have any good ones left?” he asks a moment later, dragging the tip of his finger along my birthmark with a content smile grazing his lips.

“I dunno, I guess we’ll see but it’s probably picked over rather well,” I shrug, and he does too with an exhale, pulling me against his chest.

“Hmm, wonder what kinda Christmas traditions we’ll start t’getha this year, bug.”

“Well God, I hope this isn’t going to be a lasting tradition,” I muse, crossing my arms over my chest as I hold back a laugh. Turning my head to look at him, his eyes reluctantly make their way over to me after brushing the stray needles off of his coat that he keeps around for things like this. His “manly man coat” as he calls it, as if this tree really required it.

“I don’t wanna hear anotha word outta you,” Harry remarks, pointing a finger at me while giving me a dirty look. My lips part and he dips his head at me with raised brows. “You said it was cute when we picked it out, and how many times do you tell me ‘ya get what ya get and ya don’t throw a fit?’ Huh?”

“Okay, but, Harry,” I begin until a laugh overcomes my words and he groans in response.

“Somebody jus’ had t’ have a bloody tree,” he grunts, walking away and over to the closet under the stairs where he hangs his tattered coat.

“Hey! I like it, but . . “

“But what?” he sighs, and when I tear my eyes from the tree he’s giving me another annoyed look.

“But I like big things, you know that,” I tease, meeting him by the kitchen island where I slip my way into his arms. But one of mine wanders down his chest and to the front of his jeans that he slipped on for the outing that greet my fingers with cold fabric.

“Dontchu try t’ butter me up, woman,” he says with a roll of his eyes until it dissolves into the sound that often coasts from his lips lately. I hate when my mind automatically goes to those few weeks where I yearned to hear it around the firm, but I never did.

“I’m not, and I’m just kidding. I really do love the tree, I think it’s a perfect size, not too big, not too small,” I tell him in a coo and he nods with slight hesitancy to the action.

“Yer sure?”

“Yes,” I answer, letting my head fall to his chest after my arms wound around his middle. “I like our first Christmas tree, it’s tiny and cute. I like little things too, they’re just so adorable.”

“That’s not what you were jus’ sayin,’” he whispers, squeezing my ass and I almost jump. Now, it’s my turn to roll my eyes as I exhale, admiring the four foot Christmas tree. The tallest one we could find at the farm that wasn’t scrawny or sick.

“Hush, and go and get the lights and ornaments while I start the cookies and dinner.”

“‘Kay,” Harry hums, leaving a kiss on my forehead. “Missed you . . missed this.”

“Missed you,” I smile with melancholy sticking to its edges, leaning into his touch as a long sigh leaves my lips. In the silence, my hand drifts along his back and to the hole that I know mars the red flannel he wears. I’d told him how many times to get rid of it already, but he can’t give it up. “What do you want to do for Christmas day, for a meal?”

“Was actually gonna ask you t’ come t’ me mum’s, she does a Christmas lunch ev’ry year with Gemma and tha kids.”

“Yeah, that sounds fun. I’ve really missed Harper and Ollie,” I remark, closing my eyes and inhaling his smell dotted with fresh pine.

“They’ve missed ya too, bug. Harper hasn’t stopped askin’ when ‘m gonna bring Anty Becky over,” he almost wheezes. I don’t stop myself early enough, because it’s too late, and I hear the sadness clinging to his voice. That hellish month wasn’t contained to just us, and I see it in people’s wandering glances at the firm. Maybe even more now that rumor’s gone around that we’ve gotten back together, only fueled by our public friendliness with each other since, and despite the professionalism we both tried to carry. I’d missed his niece and nephew more than I thought I could, his sister, and his mum too, and when those thoughts appeared in my head it all hurt even more. I didn’t know that my heart could squeeze any more pain out after losing him, and in the way that I did.

Sometimes, the silence feels unsettling still, and I hate that. I hate the hesitance I see in his actions still when he goes to touch me, or the look on his face at dinner with Myles and Jeanie the other night when the waiter berated him to order a drink too. It’d only continued the next day when it was my first time back at his house and the wine cabinet was starkly empty, and so were all of the spots that held my things. Neither of us had brought up me moving back in yet, and sometimes I thought I was ready to . . sometimes.

“Yer not goin’ t’ Madley Christmas day are you?” he hums, pulling me away from my thoughts, and I welcome it. “Course, if you are that’s okay.”

“No. Um, I’m going the day after, that’s when we always do it. You’re welcome to come, if you’d like.”

“Hmmm,” he thinks aloud, warmth spreading across my scalp when his closed mouth rests there. “I dunno, Robbie seemed rather pissed tha other day when he stopped by tha firm and saw me, so I can only imagine how yer dad would act.”

“Harry-,” I start, moving away so I can look at him, but he doesn’t let me.

“‘s fine, Becks, okay? I don’t blame ‘em. ‘m gonna go and grab tha decorations befo’ it gets too late. I don’t wanna be up all night cookin’ and decoratin’,” he finishes, leaving my arms. I nod silently to myself, arms cold and empty as I watch him walk away, assuring myself it’s okay and I’m okay because he’s coming back.

Only a few days after getting back together, and I wish things would go back to normal already. I’ve never gotten my wish for normalcy, now have I?

“Stop it, I mean it,” Harry attempts, but the firmness in his voice is lacking as a laugh interrupts it. “We both know that ya know all tha words, but I wanna hear ‘em too, ‘kay?”

“Fine, but for the record, you’re no fun.”

“Reckon we both know that too,” he answers, feeding buttered popcorn between his bubblegum pink lips. My eyes return to the telly where the other Harry and Marv continue their infiltration into Kevin’s house, but he anticipates their plan, and I giggle at the next booby trap he’s set.

Looking to my Harry, I find him lost in the bowl of popcorn that sits on his lap where he lies beside me in my bed. Clearing my throat loudly, he looks up and over to me, lifting a brow. “Are you sure you’re okay?” I ask, repeating the question I’ve asked too many times today, and I know it.

“Yes, ‘m fine.”

“You sure? Because Home Alone is a cinematic masterpiece and if it doesn’t make you happy then there something’s wrong with you,” I joke, tossing a Red Vine onto his lap, missing the popcorn bowl that he’s peering into again while sifting around for a chocolate drizzled one. “I’m just kidding, it’s only a film, but you haven’t been yourself today, Harry, or well, yesterday either. For a few days now. Will you please tell me what’s bothering you . . so I can help?”

“There’s plenty o’ things,” he whispers, and my face creases into a question.

“What’d you say?” I ask slowly and seriously.

“I said there’s plenty o’ plain popcorn in here, far too many ‘cuz somebody ate all o’ tha chocolate ones,” he says with a shake of his head, picking up the licorice that soon appears between his teeth. He rips at it until he begins to chew and meets my eyes with a forced smile.

“You snooze, you lose,” I tease and he offers a laugh in between the licorice as my eyes stray to my artificial Christmas tree. I watch the twinkling lights dance along the window, wishing it felt like Christmas and all of its cheeriness.

I can’t remember the last time that I had a happy Christmas.

What wakes me is a creaking sound, and when I look around, the sun isn’t peeking through the windows and the birds aren’t chirping. The multi-colored lights donning the tree are the only light around me, and they shed some on the section of bed next to me. The sheets absent of Harry. Instead, they hold a half folded page which pulls my eyes to my desk where I can just make out my favorite journal from Harry, opened and with a pen sitting in its middle.

Sitting up, I turn the light on and grab at the paper, immediately opening it. Little did I know that after reading its secrets, that part of me would feel ashamed for wishing that I’d never read it and just gone back to sleep. Ignorant and blissful. The other side of me reads it quick and fast, feeling my heart climb in speed with every word that my eyes can’t believe.

Becks,

I’m sorry, love, but I just can’t do this. I can’t do this to you. I’m not enough for you and I don’t know why I ever thought that I could be. You deserve so much better than me, so fucking much. I’ve been going to the meetings and I think that they help, but I had a drink last night and I wanted to keep going and I did. I stopped myself, but I hate myself for not stopping myself earlier than that. I don’t want to do this to you again, and I won’t. Please don’t try to change my mind, because you can’t. I love you, so so much, Rebecca Ann, and that’s why I have to do this. I have to leave, because I don’t want to keep ruining your life. I’ve been doing that for far too long, years now. I love you more than I could ever make you know and I hope that you can forgive me one day. Call that bloke Max that liked you the one time, he seemed like a catch. I dunno.

Merry Christmas,

Harry xoxoxo

Tears had already begun their descent down my cheeks, from the very first words, and they only grew stronger as I went further down the page. I didn’t remember that I was holding it as I tore from the bed and into the hallway, searching for him in every corner. In the flat, through the hallways, on the lift, and in the lobby downstairs. I couldn’t find his face, and the fright grew and grew inside of me until I thought I would explode from it. It followed me through the green lights and threatened to topple over at the red ones. It led my feet to his door and to the spare key I know that he hides under the flowerpot on his porch, and guided me blindly through the empty house. The twinkling lights on the tree greeted it and shrunk in its sight, our tree. Our home. The fright sent me out of there with a new sob and it fed another when I got onto the lift and walked through the dark halls.

It only began to shrink when the door to the firm opened with ease in my hand, and I was met with the emptiness of its walls. My impatient steps echoed loudly in my ears and I couldn’t care if I tried, not even when they stopped in front of the door bearing his name and the words ‘Managing Partner & Attorney’ below it. The fear grew at the lack of light underneath his door, but it was smacked down when the handle twisted in my grip, and I found him before me. If he heard me, he didn’t show it. If he knew I was coming, he didn’t try hard enough to hide. He didn’t lock the doors behind him of his own firm, unoccupied on a Saturday. He didn’t try hard enough, and that’s all that I cared about.

“You really think that a lousy note is going to make me stay away a-and stop loving you?” I cry, lingering in his doorway, wanting to surround him with myself but not knowing if he’d let me. His head falls where he stands in front of his window, looking nothing like himself in trainers and a hoodie, his makeshift pajamas. “Harry, y-you had a relapse, it’s okay.”

“But ‘s not, Becks,” he says in a strained voice, his figure soon shaking with a sob. “‘s not gonna be okay when at Christmas yer dad stares at me with disdain in his eyes knowing what I did t’ you- t’ us, and knowin’ deep down that it could happen again ‘cuz I can’t stop,” he insists, vigor in his voice. “‘s not gonna be okay when it creeps up on me down tha road when we have kids, and I pick up tha bottle ‘cuz ‘m stressed out from late nights with a baby.”

Gulping, my throat feels dry with the absence of words and the onslaught of tears. The wanting to know what to say stirs the verbs and adjectives within me, but they don’t go anywhere. Then again, neither is he right now and that seems to be the only comfort that I can find in this moment.

“‘s not okay, Becks. ‘m not okay,” Harry says with languid plaguing his voice, refusing to turn around.

“But I love you even when you’re not okay,” I insist, my clenched fists shaking despite my attempts to calm them, and yet the only thing that could calm me has run away from me. “I do, and I always will, Harry! That’s why I came back, because I love you and I want to help you. Yes, you hurt me, but I forgive you because I love you. I love you because I forgive you,” I sob, wishing that he would say something - that he’s sorry for leaving and that he’ll try again. I just wish for something to come out of his mouth, because his silence is terrifying me. I don’t know how much more I can take.

I know that I can’t take a world of mine without him in it, and too many years of yearning for him across a room doesn’t count. I can’t do that again, not any of it. That’s what pulls my feet away from the door and towards him.

“I’m not leaving you, I’m not going anywhere no matter how hard you try to get rid of me. I’m going to stay and help you, please just let me,” I beg, curling my fingers around his forearm, watching a tear collect at the point of his nose. “Can we please just go home and go back to bed? I want to spend Christmas with my best friend this week, even if things aren’t okay.”

“‘m broken, Becks. ‘m a mess, how could you love me still?” he asks quietly, lifting his eyes to peer out onto the sleeping town where only the lights are awake. Lights strewn on trees in the park and alive on the buildings. “I thought ‘d feel okay when we got back t’getha, and I did . . but then I didn’t. I dunno what happened . . what’s happenin’ t’ me. How can you love somebody like that?”

“Make sure that I don’t have a drink?” he says in a tone that I don’t like. Squeezing his hand doesn’t help, it doesn’t spur life into him or send encouragement to him. “Ya can’t be there ev’ry moment o’ ev’ry day makin’ sure that I don’t drink, Becks, and I don’t want you t’. You deserve such a betta life than what I can give you,” he continues, meeting my eyes for the first time since I stepped into the room. Now, I wish that he hadn’t, because I see it before I stop myself. I see the answer in his eyes, the one that’s probably been there all along and the one that I couldn’t take away. The one that I can’t take away.

It stays there in front of my eyes, when he walks out of the room and when I fall back into my bed with defeat and my eyes stinging with the arrival of new tears. It stays there as I stare at the tree from under my sheets, and when I unplug it and shove it in the closet. It remains as I toss and turn under the sheets, and when I wake with his smell on the pillowcase, lulling me into a nonexistence that stays until I remember. I wish that I hadn’t.

He didn’t answer. His texts or his calls. His doorbell. His emails. He wasn’t there at work, at the team meeting, or at the pre-trial for our client. I was afraid to ask at first, but then I was texting his mum and his sister before I knew it, asking if they’d heard from him. I asked Myles, Rory, and Rose, and they didn’t know either. Nobody did.

I absently continued to work on our case, despite the worry that climbed in my gut, not knowing where he was or if he was okay. It all hurt too much and suddenly, I hated him again for hurting me like this. The pain only came harder when I thought about how he thought he was saving me from the pain when he was only inflicting it more.

Wiping a stubborn tear from my cheek, I exhale shakily and close the folder in front of me filled with his handwriting. I gulp and return to Docs on my Macbook, and stare at the blinking cursor, unsure of what to do. He always knew what to do in these lost moments. The next best step for a case, who to interview, where the best place is to find evidence, who to nudge at the courthouse for information, and how to make me feel better. My shoulders sag and I feel the wall inside of me begin to crumble.

Knock knock!

Whipping my head towards the door, I see a glimpse of him until I blink a tear away and he runs away. Again.

“Hey,” Myles says softly, hovering in my doorway, unable to meet my eyes. “Is it a bad time? I can come back later.”

“No no, it’s okay . . Have you heard from him?”

“Yeah,” he begins, but his voice doesn’t fill with happiness or drench me with relief. The way that his eyes are strangers to mine don’t wick the tears away. “He’s okay, Becky, but he wants to be left alone. He wanted me to tell you that he loves you and that he’s sorry, but he needs some time to himself. He’ll contact you when . . when he’s ready . . I’m sorry, love,” he finishes, at last meeting my eyes, if only for a moment. “Please, let me know if you need anything, anything at all. And, I’ve asked Rory to take over this case, since he’s the only one free at the mo’. So, go home and take it easy, okay? Take care of yourself, and have a merry Christmas.”

I see it. The way that he corrects himself too late, knowing what he just said by habit. He can’t take it back now, the habitual ‘Merry Christmas,’ and I can’t withdraw the pain that slaps me in the face and leaves me looking at the floor. That’s all that I wanted, a merry Christmas, and he stole away every chance of that. A small ‘thanks’ greets the air around me before his leaving footfall, and I watch the tears fall onto my desk. Onto the keys of my Macbook that he got for me, a purple case and all, and the desk that he picked just for me. There are small puddles littering its surface by the time I pull myself away from it and start my way home, sure a happy Christmas’ doesn’t exist.

“You’re sure it’s okay if I go?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine, Ree,” Skye insists with a sigh filled with sorrow. Even the tips of her fingertips against my forehead leave trails of it along my skin.

“Maybe if I say it enough times, I will be.”

“Oh, Ree,” she exhales with honey coating her words, and I hate it.

I hate all of this. Lying in bed like a pathetic mope on Christmas Eve, even denying Robbie to meet his new girlfriend, and Dad to come home early. I told the both of them that I was sick, and although it didn’t feel far off, the guilt ate at me. It was surpassed by the fear and anguish at the prospect of telling them the truth, and how it eradicated the balance that had been restored to my life within the last week. Once again, it had been chucked into the bin, and I didn’t know what to do, or how to do anything. I didn’t know how to be okay again, and somehow, this time hurt worse than when he would get plastered and yell at me. Somehow, him leaving willingly and in the right mind was far worse.

“I won’t be gone all night . . Ring me if ya need me, alright? I love you, Ree. I wish that there was more I could do,” she exhales, leaving with an awkward kiss to my temple, and then she’s gone.

An emptiness sings throughout the flat and I watch the twinkling of a star long off in the distance. I wish that I could be there, far and away from all of this, like the Grinch separated from the Whos. But, that’s not what I want and I know that. I just want him, a happy Christmas with him.

A creaking awakes me and I sigh, rubbing the back of my hand against my eyes while licking my lips, “I’m fine, Skye, go away. I’m trying to sleep,” I groan with a yawn breaking through my words. Groaning, I shuffle my legs under the covers until I find a good spot again.

The bed dips underneath me and my annoyed moan follows suit, especially when somebody slips under the covers behind me. Mutterings escape my lips and I yank the covers higher, rejecting their arms that come around me, until I freeze. My eyes fly open and I inhale again, and again. The scratchy feeling against my cheek does it, and I spin around, knocking heads with the person. Him.

“Ouch!” he exclaims, holding his forehead. A laugh unfolds on his lips as his breath wafts over me, and all of a sudden, he’s real. He’s here and I’m okay. “You okay, love? Ya really hit yer noggin’ hard with mine,” he continues, wheezing between his words.

“Becks?” he asks and I nod emphatically, and then, I begin to sob suddenly. “Oh, honeybug, c’mere.”

“Harry,” I sigh shakily into his neck when he surrounds me with his arms, and I find his holey flannel with my hands.

“‘m so sorry, Becks, ‘m so fookin’ sorry. I thought I could do it without you, but I can’t, baby, I can’t. Please, don’t let me do it without you. Don’t ever lemme leave you again, I was such a bloody idiot. ‘m so sorry, I ruined our first Christmas t’getha, baby,” he rushes from above me, worry sewn into his voice until his tears make their arrival.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s not ruined, just please never leave me again. I can’t- I can’t do any of this without you either, none of it. I can help. I’ll go with to the meetings, if you want Just, tell me what I need to do to help and I will. I just want to help you, Harry, I love you so much,” I confess impatiently, finding warmth in his stubbly neck and his scent that I’ve missed almost as much as him.

“All I need ‘s t’ be with you, promise. I love you, baby, I love you, I love you, I love you. Ev’rythin’s gonna be okay, we’re gonna be okay, ‘m gonna be okay, and yer gonna be okay,” he coos to me, sponging kisses along my head and forehead until he’s brought my eyes forward and to him. A small smile curves his lips upwards and he touches his finger to my nose. “Can’t tell you enough how sorry I am. I got on a flight, can’t even rememba where. I jus’ had t’ get away from here, but I knew I did tha wrong thing not long afta, and it was a mess tryin’ t’ get back with layovers and all that shit with Christmas.” I nod, watching him lace his hand with mine and give it a squeeze.

“I’m just glad you’re back and that you’re okay.”

“Me too, sweetheart,” he echos, dipping to kiss me on the lips. Pulling away, his eyes leave mine, and I turn to follow his to the window behind me. “Looks like I made it in time, 12:05 . . Merry Christmas, Becks,” he hums when I look back to him and the words soon meet the air in my voice, too.

“Merry Christmas, Harry,” I sigh, laying my head against his chest. He moves to lie on his back and his arms stay surrounding me while his lips find the crown of my head.

“Sleep, baby, ‘m not goin’ anywhere, not ever again. I know we both need it . . We’ll do presents in tha mornin’ at mine, ‘kay? And finish our Home Alone marathon and cookie decoratin’ too. Promise, promise ‘m never leavin’ you ‘gain, sweet girl.”

“Okay,” I reply sleepily, feeling myself relax when his fingers start to dance through my hair.

“Becks.”

I hear my name and then feel the kiss that follows it, and the next one. A loud raspberry on my cheek eliminates any chance of falling back to sleep. What sounds obnoxious and loud fills a laugh that graces my ears, and yet, I couldn’t want to wake up to something more than that exact sound.

“Harry,” I say, joining with his laughter that grows as more raspberries cover my face. “Stop it,” I groan, but I don’t mean it and I think he knows it, because he continues. At last, he stops and I’m left staring up at the man of my dreams, unshaven and with the cutest of bedheads.

“Merry Christmas, bug,” he coos with a contagious happiness to his lips that spreads to mine when I kiss him.

“Hey, at least these aren’t burnt,” he remarks as I sit down next to him and try to hide a smile. “Dontchu even gimme that look, ‘m doin’ this fer you, and I swear if you bloody tell anybody.”

“What? I didn’t say anything,” I giggle and he rolls his eyes as he bites off the snowman’s head from his sugar cookie. “By the way, you’re going to ruin your appetite.”

“Such a mum you are already,” he sighs, holding the rest of the cookie between his teeth as he sits up on his knees to reach under the tree. “Pickin’ out me clothes fer me and tellin’ me I can’t have cookies befo’ our meal. Tsk tsk,” he groans dramatically as he picks up a giftbag with holiday greetings scrawled on its outside.

I laugh and watch him set it in front of me, and it only makes me wonder how he pulled this all off. I had had my presents for him wrapped and under the tree for a few days now, before everything went to shit, but somehow under the tree has grown fuller since then. I haven’t dared to ask or even make a joke about it, because I just want to enjoy this, even in all of its silliness and sadness. Even when my smile dims at the memory of waking up to that note and how it flipped my world upside down when I thought he had just placed it rightside up.

“Hey, ‘m kiddin’ ‘round. Tha pj’s are cozy, and tha cookies are delicious. ‘m sure yer breakfast cookin’ in tha oven will be too,” Harry hums with a strong smile, squeezing my arm. I nod and watch as he looks away to answer a text, having told me that he gave his family a fright too and now they won’t stop bugging him. “C’mere, you, time t’ open yer first present,” he says and he surprises me by lifting me up to place on his lap. Giggles erupt into the air when his fingertips caress my sides and his stubbly lips pepper kisses along my neck.

I wish I could freeze this moment and stay in it forever.

The next few days passed and they were rather normal and that’s all that I could ask for. An unsettling awkwardness passed after a few minutes of being at my dad’s house, and at Harry’s mum’s. Harper and Robbie were to thank for that, whether it was Robbie showing Harry his new guitar or Harper clinging to my leg the second I walked in the door and refusing to ever let me leave.

Sitting on Harry’s sofa under the glow of the Christmas lights now, I heave a sigh remembering the last few days and how wonderfully ordinary they were. Even with the A.A. meeting over Zoom that we worked in and the way our families went to lengths to leave alcohol out of their glasses and out of the conversation.

“What took you so long? I want to start the movie before we get too tired,” I moan, falling to lie on my stomach as I peer up at him taking the stairs two at a time.

“Sorry, I had one mo’ thing t’ wrap,” Harry answers, padding across the wooden floor to me where I wait with rosy cheeks. His own soon dimple with a smile when he falls onto the sofa next to me, once again lifting me onto his lap. He breathes in loudly and then yawns before nuzzling his cheek against mine, brushing his fingers against my side. “Open it,” he says, placing a small box in my hands.

I oblige and begin to tear the red wrapping paper away from the dainty box until I’m looking at a black matte box with a lid. “Harry,” I say warily, turning to look at him behind me. His smile stays and he nods towards the box.

“‘s not that, promise. Jus’ open it and you’ll see,” he insists, sponging a peck to my temple. “I know we’re both not ready yet,” he comments and I inhale slowly as I lift the top off to find a shining, silver ring waiting for me.

“Harry, is this . . ,” I try to say, but my emotions get the best of me as I turn around to face him and his reddening cheeks.

“‘s a promise ring, a knot ring, they call it . . . It symbolizes a knot that’s not tied quite yet, but I have ev’ry intention of tyin’ it one day, when we’re both ready. This ‘s a promise I swear t’ ya I won’t ever break,” he explains, and his widening smile grows blurry from the happy tears that fill my eyes. “I hope those are happy tears, love . . I love you, Becks, so much and ‘m so sorry for what ‘ve put you thru’ lately. I know that I can’t do life without you in mine, and ‘m done tryin’ to be too strong or noble- or whatever. ‘ve known for awhile that I wanted you in my life fer always . . make you Mrs. Styles one day and have loads o’ babies t’getha . . Will you wear it, bug?”

“Yes, yes, of course,” I answer, swiping at the tears on my cheeks. A nervously happy laugh coats his lips as he lifts the dainty ring from its place and takes my left hand in his. “Wow, you’re really good at this,” I joke and he nods laughing while sliding it onto my ring finger, punctuating it with a kiss.

“Thanks, hope so.”

“And what do we tell people when they ask why I have this on my ring finger?” I ask him, watching him close the box and set aside before winding his arms around me.

“That ‘s a promise ring, ‘course,” he tells me, pressing a kiss below my eye. His smell surrounds me when his forehead comes to rest against mine. I lean against him and glance down to my hand, holding it out in front of me to admire it. “Does it fit alright? I tried t’ rememba what size you are, but we can get it adjusted. I hafta say it looks perfect on you, ‘s just a shame it came in tha mail late.”

“It’s perfect, Harry,” I answer, not knowing if there are any other words that could do it justice. “God, you have to stop one-upping me on presents all of the time,” I titter and his loud chuckle echoes mine as I relax against him, staring at the ring.

“Hmm, not sure I could do betta than this next year,” he says, and we both hear it in there. The way he said it with nervousness wicking his words away that maybe next year will follow this tradition with another ring.

“There’s no need to. This Christmas was so great, Harry.”

“But it wasn’t perfect, and ‘m sorry fer that,” he comments sadly from above me where he hooks his chin over the top of my head.

“It was, just getting to spend it with you made it so.”

“I really dunno what ‘d do without you, bug,” Harry confesses softly as the fireplace crackles away beneath the tv that waits for us. The scratchy feeling of his stubble leaves my head, and when I glance up I find his eyes glassy with tears. “‘ll be makin’ it up t’ you fer tha rest o’ me life that I ever tried t’ test that.”

“It’s okay, I forgive you . . because I love you,” I tell him, my thumb greeting his warm skin slick from his lingering sadness.

“I love you mo’.”

“I love you most,” I say, completing our special saying, something I can’t remember saying since before all of this shit started.

“I love you mostest,” he follows up, and my jaw soon hangs as I stare at him in disbelief before our lips dissolve into a laugh.

“Harry!” I shriek when his lips soon cover my face in kisses, and his fingers litter tickles along my body. I lie there in his arms, savoring the sound of our laughs mixing together, hoping that it will always be like this.

I hope that it will always be this easy to love him.

My buzzing phone brings me back to the present. I find the strength to pull away from Harry and locate my phone in the folds of blankets. A text lights up my home screen once I locate it, and my lips soon fly higher.

“Hey,” I say slowly, turning my eyes to Harry to find him tracing the ring on my finger. He looks up with a question quirking his brows and my heart squeezes at the sight of him. How can a grown man be so adorable? “Is it okay if we push the movie off until tomorrow?”

“Sure, why d’ya ask?”

“You wanna go to a Christmas party with me?”

“A Christmas party? On December 28th?” he almost laughs, his greens twinkling underneath his knitted brows.

“Yeah, it’s- oh, nevermind actually,” I say, embarrassment whisking my eyes away from him and to my lap. God, how can I be so stupid to even ask?

“Hey, what’s tha matter, bug? I don’t mind goin’, and I might actually wanna if you tell me who’s throwin’ it.”

“No, it’s okay. I changed my mind, I don’t want to go anymore. Don’t worry, please,” I insist, a nervous laugh marking my words. His fingers had stilled on mine and I take the chance to adjust the piece of jewelry on my finger. “Wow, it’s so pretty and shiny.”

“Becks, don’t change tha subject,” Harry almost sighs, taking my hand in is and hiding the ring away from sight. “Then let’s go and show off that ring o’ yers, at this party.”

I remain quiet, growing chilly at the silence that seeps into our conversation and we both know it. The difficulty of saying it steals the words away from me and the gap between us grows larger with every second.

“Rebecca Ann,” he says with impatience spilling over in his voice. His palm is a welcomed warmth against my cheek with its cradle. “What aren’t you tellin’ me? Y’know you can tell me anythin’ in tha entire world . . ‘s always been that way b’tween us.”

“I don’t think it would be a good idea, Harry, it’s a party. They . . “

“Oh,” he says, the realization heavy in his tone.

“I don’t mean it like-,” I begin, finding the nervous sadness in his green eyes that try to stray, but they don’t go far.

“I know you didn’t mean it like that, Becks,” he remarks with a curve to his lips, leaving a kiss on my forehead. “Thanks fer lookin’ out fer me, bug, but I feel okay. I think I can be ‘round alcohol without losin’ it right now, so why don’t we give that party a shot, huh?”

“Really?” I ask, perking up in my seat beside him. He nods with a happy sound tumbling off his lips.

“But, first, you hafta tell me whose party this ‘s. ‘m dyin’ t’ find out.”

“Bloody hell, I dunno ‘bout this, Becks. Reckon ‘m too old fer shit like this.”

“Hush, believe it or not, there are people here older than you, Harry,” I tease him, chuckling at the way his jaw hangs loose from his face in disbelief. On my tippy toes, I press my lips to his cheek and pull him forward.

“Wait, so what ‘s this ‘gain? I don’t understand.”

“It’s a Christmas party . . for my cohort,” I tell him, leading him through the throngs of people filling the large apartment. Many mingle in groups with drinks in hand, and I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the sparkling grape juice and sodas claiming the counter, instead of only beers and Whiteclaws.

“Oh yeah, reckon ‘s been a year since ya graduated. God, already?”

“I know, right?” I say, squeezing his hand when I see that proud glint in his eye. The twinkling Christmas lights donning the space catch my eye as well as the ugly sweater memo that I’m glad I didn’t miss. “Wait, is that- No way, Becky!”

A shock of red curls turns around to face me, and their face explodes with happiness. Before I know it, they’re crossing the small space and I’m swallowed by their arms in a hug.

“Hi to you too, Rube,” I laugh into her hair that smells of cherries, just like the last time.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?!” she exclaims after she finally lets me free.

“Si and I wanted to surprise you.”

“Well, you did a good job of that,” she comments, and within seconds, I’m forgotten. “Oooo, who’s this?” she teases to me, bumping her shoulder against mine. “Wait, is this-?” Ruby cuts herself off short as realization dawns on her face as her eyes stay pointed on Harry who glances around the room mindlessly.

“Ruby, this is my boyfriend, Harry. And, Harry, this is my best friend from uni, Ruby Tucker,” I say, suddenly remembering all of the times I wanted to do this, and most important of all, that day in the lecture hall.

Looking to my side, I watch as Harry comes back to us and his eyes wander to Ruby whose infectious smile affects his own. The dimples soon fall and his eyes come to life as he holds out his other hand to her that she takes.

“Pleasure t’ meet you, Ruby, ‘ve heard good things ‘bout you,” he says warmly. A laugh sputters in my throat when I watch Ruby’s cheeks turn the same shade as her hair.

“I bet I’ve got you beat for that,” she says, flitting her eyes to me before briefly winking.

“Oh, ‘s that right? Care t’ tune me in on this, Becks?” he poses to me, lifting an eyebrow as a question waits in his teasing eyes.

“Becks?” Ruby coos and I shake my head at the both of them.

“Just that day in the lecture hall when you came to talk to our class.”

“Ah, makes sense. What, were you lot droolin’ over me too?” he jokes and Ruby’s loud laugh fills the air around us, interrupting the Christmas jingles.

“No,” I insist, but Ruby disagrees. Soon, I find that my cheeks could give hers a run for their money as they flame with embarrassment. “Fine, I may have gotten a little lost in the moment.”

“‘m sure that’s all you did,” Harry teases and I shove at his arm, savoring the sound of his laugh. It falls to an end when he caresses my head with his hand and kisses the top of my head.

“Hell, you two couldn’t be any cuter,” Ruby comments from beside us, and I feel my cheeks fill with warmth. “I’m really happy for you two. Really, I am. I can’t remember ever seeing you this happy, Becky.” Tears prick at my eyes when she squeezes my arm and smiles at me like she’s never done before. “Lemme go and find that guy of ours, I bet he’s the one behind this plan.”

“I like her,” Harry wheezes next to me, and I find the full smile that sits on his lips when I look. It shines down on me as his finger coasts along my forehead, moving a lock of hair out of my eyes. “I must agree with her, it makes me so happy t’ see how well yer doin’ now. Reckon I only saw a glimpse o’ yer life back then in uni, but yer happier now, I can tell.”

“Hmm, I can only wonder why,” I giggle and he tries not to. A Mariah Carey song comes on next and the room erupts in loud cheers. My eyes fall to our intertwined hands and my spare that covers his, tracing the familiar curves of his rings.

“Well, lookie who it is!” somebody almost shouts. I know the voice without even having to look. “Becky and her main man!”

“Hi, Si,” I smile as he approaches us in a red and green Fair Isle sweater, considerably dominant to Ruby’s grandma looking one. Harry lucked out with a festive knit sweater with several shades of red, but he could make a hospital gown look good. Meanwhile, the next best thing I could find in Harry’s closet was a blue and white number with a cheery snowman on the front.

“Hey, and Harry it ‘s, correct?” Si says, stepping forward with an outstretched hand. They both shake hands as Harry nods, and then I’m pulled into Si’s strong arms. Laughing, I make a break for it moments later, remembering I hadn’t seen them since graduation, or sometime around then.

“I knew it, you know,” he says to Ruby beside him, shaking his head with a glow to his face.

“Me too,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest as she smiles at me, knowingly.

“You knew what?” I ask them, finding Harry’s hand again with my own. Mysterious laughs float between them and they spur one on mine, but mine fills with nervousness as I trace the knot on my ring finger.

“That you’d go and work for Harry, again. Duh,” Si says, as if it’s the easiest secret in the world.

“I bet Si fifty pounds you’d go back.”

“I bet Rube seventy that you’d be back in three months,” he jests, straight white teeth showing behind his wide smile as laughs overcome the four of us.

“You guys are so bad!” I chuckle, looking to Harry who just shrugs his shoulders.

“What? We both shoulda seen it coming, it was a given, Becks.”

“Becks, huh? I haven’t heard that one before,” Si comments, bringing a tall stein to his lips. He pulls it away and wipes at the creamy yellow liquid left behind on his lips.

“Ya, um . . I called her by her last name fer awhile-.”

“And some last names that weren’t mine,” I interrupt, making everybody laugh, even Harry who seems to remember for the first time in awhile.

“As I was sayin’,” he continues, raising his eyebrows at me. “I got tired o’ Holte, tha name and tha girl.” Cue the laughing. “Anyways, I dunno, nothin’ else seemed right. Not tha classic Becky, ‘cuz ev’rybody who was anybody called her that. She was never called Rebecca, or Becca, but Becks jus’ fit her somehow,” Harry concludes, and for a few moments, it’s like there aren’t twenty people around us. It’s just us, and his neverending green eyes.

“Looks like that ring fits rather well too,” Si comments, and my eyes go searching before I realize what he’s saying.

“Si, you idiot, they’d tell you if they were ready,” Ruby scolds him, swatting at his arm.

“Um, ow!” Si exclaims, shaking his head at her. “Sorry,” he tells us after Ruby gives him a good glare.

“It’s okay, it’s not an engagement ring. Harry got me a promise ring,” I tell them, and yet, I can’t keep my eyes off of Harry whose sunshine beats down on me.

“That’s so great, Becky, congrats to you two!”

“I haven’t even met a bloke who’s cute enough for me, and look at you two,” Si exhales, draining the rest of his drink with a sad smile.

“Don’t be a party pooper,” Ruby remarks, shoving him away from her when he gives her a goofy look. “Anyways, I want to hear about all of your cases together! I can’t believe you got into Styles and Lawson, Becky- Well, I can now, but tell me about it! You two got that massive Lawton and Williams case, how was that?”

“Yeah, we’ve just been dying over here, dragging our feet through dry civil cases at Xavier’s,” Simon says with a roll of his eyes, but flashes me a smile.

“Oh, yer at Xave’s? If yer lookin’ fer somethin’ new, my partner and I are hirin’ fer a new position, maybe we could fit one o’ you newbies in. We always love havin’ new graduates- well, yer a year old now, but if you’d be up fer it,” Harry announces, and my heart swells at the emotion on the both of their faces.

“It’s a bloody miracle one of us is dating a bigshot lawyer innit? Any cute guys work at your firm, Harry?” Simon says, and us two girls bust out laughing as he looks around confused. Harry stays silent and Simon remains serious until his lips coated in eggnog spew a laugh and then we’re all laughing. “Just jokin’, mate!”

They followed us into every next conversation and between our cups of eggnog and plates of cookies. I certainly wouldn’t have thought this time last year after graduating uni and missing the hell out of him that I’d be here. Sitting next to Harry on a sofa with my two best lawyer friends sharing stories as we all died laughing, and with a promise ring on my finger.

I slowly started to let myself believe that things could be good again.

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twoidiotwriters1 · 3 years

Text

Young Blood II -(PB/WITS Crossover)

A/N: Peter is also a non-existent character btw, or he never befriended the marauders doesn’t matter the point is that he isn’t here either lmao -Val & Danny

Warnings: Not proofread bc in this blog we don’t fear god

Words: 4,625

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Summer 1988

The day was warm and a little windy, it could’ve been peaceful as well, hadn’t been for the constant screaming coming from the garden.

“Ari! Come back!” The little girl shouted anxiously. “Mum told you not to climb that high, you’re too small!”

Mel ran around the tree desperately trying to reach for her little sister, but as an eight-year-old, there was a limit to the distance her arms could reach. She was whimpering and flinching with every movement her little sister would make; behind her, little Harry Potter and Perseus Black approached with curious expressions.

“What are you doing?” Percy asked.

“She’s up there!” Mel panted. “I’m trying to get Ariana, but she climbed all the way up! I don’t want her to fall!”

“You’re missing the games,” Harry complained. “It’s our party and you’ve been chasing your sister around, c’mon it’s almost time for cake!”

“Daddy told me to look after her!” She argued. “Your parents asked you to do the same with your babies! Where are they?”

The boys shared a look and then turned back to her with equal disinterest on their faces.

“The girls are probably in the kitchen trying to steal food,” Harry shrugged. “Who cares? It’s our party, I’m not going to waste it looking after the twins!”

“Mel,” Percy approached, he was usually the one to mediate between them during an argument. “If we help you with Ariana will you come and play? Dad bought us all new brooms!”

Mel didn’t want to disobey her parents, but the promise of a brand new broom waiting for her was tempting enough.

“Okay,” She sighed.

Ariana laughed hysterically above their heads, she hung upside down on the branch and Mel yelped, quickly hiding her face behind both hands.

“Hi!” Ariana waved at them. “You look tiny!”

“Get her down!” Mel pleaded in horror.

“Maybe if we lure her down with food..?” Harry offered, tilting his head.

“I already tried! She won’t come down!”

“Ari!” Percy stepped forward, an easy-going smirk instantly forming on his face. “Would you get off the tree now, darling?”

“Okay!”

With a swift movement and a short jump Ariana landed neatly in front of them, her lopsided grin mocking her sister’s pale face.

“‘Darling’,” Harry snorted. “You sound like our dads.”

“Dad told me we have to treat girls nicely,” Percy replied without an ounce of embarrassment. “Maybe the twins wouldn’t put shaving cream on your pillow if you were nicer to them.”

Harry made a face. “Whatever.”

“Is it time for cake?” Ariana asked, not really caring about what the boys were arguing about. “I’m hungry!”

She ran back to the house, Mel followed her with her eyes, mouth wide open.

“I hate her,” She pouted. “She always does this— Never listens to me just to make me cry!”

“Well, you cry all the time anyway, Mel,” Harry muttered.

The little girl narrowed her eyes and closed her fist ready to throw a punch, but her father’s head peered out the back door to call them in.

“Remus is here!”

The three children ran forward screaming their uncle’s name. The man opened his arms and the avalanche of children pushed him onto the floor.

“Dear god,” Remus grunted. “I swear your kids multiply every time I come visit.”

“Well, it’s like you said, Remus,” Persephone smirked, lovingly patting her belly. “We have to keep ourselves busy somehow.”

“This is why I hate rich people,” Remus teased, staring down at Persephone’s stomach. “So you’re going for the fourth, then?”

“And last,” Persephone sent a glare at her husband, but the man just grinned.

“What are you saying, you twat?” Sirius chortled. “Those books of yours have given you galleons over galleons! You’re rich, you just won’t admit it.”

“He might not admit it, but his robes speak for him,” James joked, picking up one of the twins from Remus’ chest.

“Kids,” Lily called over the yelling mass of tiny bodies. “Ivy, stop pulling your sister’s leg like that!”

“But I want daddy to carry me too!” The little redheaded girl whined.

“No worries dear, that’s exactly why I was born with two arms!” James said, happily picking up his daughter.

Sirius did the same with his younger son Leo, and Matthew carefully took Ariana away from Remus’ leg.

Seven-year-old Lyra Black approached her uncle and held his hand carefully.

“Are you okay, uncle Moony?” She asked quietly. “You fell.”

“I’m okay,” Remus smiled down at her. “Don’t worry, I’m very strong.”

“Can we eat cake now?” Harry asked in annoyance, the adults looked at him and laughed.

“Harry, don’t be rude!” Lily scolded her son while her youngest one, little Joshua, kept his arms tightly around her neck.

“Okay, gather round!” Emily called, placing three chairs together. “Where are the stars of the show?”

Mel, Percy and Harry sat, shoulders touching and squeezing together to fit as close as possible in front of the table.

“Make a wish!” Sirius said blithely.

Matthew flicked his wand and three huge cakes appeared, each with eight candles on them. Mel squirmed on her place excitedly, Percy eyed them with immense interest without making a sound, and Harry was practically hovering over his, ready to eat the whole thing alone.

“Happy birthday!”

Their families clapped at the sight of the three firstborns of the group blowing off the candles. While Sirius and Persephone started to hand out the cake to the guests, Matthew and Remus moved to a corner to chat.

“So, famous writer Remus Lupin is back from yet another tour around the world,” Matt smiled. “What now, Moony?”

Remus shrugged, his eyes fixed on little Mel, who was the oldest out of all the children.

“I have a new book in mind, but this one might be the last I’ll write in a while, I’ve missed most of the kids’ childhood, I want to be close when the real fun begins.”

Matthew’s smile faltered. “What do you mean?”

“Mel starts school soon,” Remus chuckled. “Harry and Percy as well.”

“Oh, but that’s years away!” Matt brushed it aside. “What does it matter anyway?”

“Oh please, don’t pretend you’re not worried,” Remus laughed. “The boys have all they need to be the next James and Sirius, and your daughter adores them, don’t you think they’ll drag her to their mischief?”

The young man looked at his daughter in sudden fear. Remus was right, Harry and Percy had the genes to charm his little girl into all kinds of mishaps, he couldn’t let that happen. He would not let that happen. Matthew was going to talk to Mel as soon as he had the chance.

October 1991

“No.”

“What do you mean ‘no’?”

“I won’t help you with your stupid pranks,” Mel said.

Percy and Harry had managed to intercept Mel before she could go eat breakfast, and now they were trying to convince her to help with their plans before she could leave the tower. It wasn’t working.

“They’re not stupid!” Harry argued. “We just want to put Percy’s cousin in his place!”

“Not a real cousin—”

“Your dad and his mum are cousins, so you are too,” Harry rolled his eyes.

“I had never seen him in my life until he stormed into our compartment acting all stupid!” Percy made a face.

“I’m sorry boys,” Mel sighed. “I promised my dad, my uncle is the headmaster and dad wants me to make a good impression…”

“You’re such a bore,” Harry frowned. “What happened to you? You used to be funny.”

Mel’s face twisted with indignation, she slammed both hands on the table making the two boys jump.

“I am fun! It’s you two who turned insuferable since we started school! You run around with Ron and his brothers pranking people and annoying Malfoy, everyone melts at your feet because your families are rich and popular—”

“You’re rich too,” Percy pointed.

“But I, unlike you, don’t enjoy being the center of attention,” She scowled. “I thought you would be better than this, Percy, you’re supposed to be the sensible one.”

“I am!” Percy replied. “But it’s just… Malfoy, he really gets on my nerves, you know?”

“Well, if you ask me, I think Hermione’s right,” Mel turned up her nose. “You boys are being ridiculous.”

“C’mon, don’t be silly,” Harry let out a silly giggle. “You never say no to a good laugh, it’ll be fun!”

Mel’s brown eyes stared at him harshly, Harry felt a cold shiver ran up his spine.

“I have to set a good example for my sister,” She said. “Leave me alone — and Percy, I hope you think twice before actually doing this, I really don’t understand why you agreed to it.”

“I already told you, Malfoy gets on my nerves!” Percy rolled his eyes. “He’s an idiot and I hate him. I’m not repeating myself, honestly…”

“Idiots,” Mel rolled her eyes. “Both of you, your mothers will send you a howler someday and I for once, am glad I don’t have to be there to witness it. Have fun in detention.”

Harry was speechless. Never, in their whole eleven years of friendship, had Mel refused to help them or show up for moral support. He didn’t understand why she was suddenly acting like this.

“Mel, you’re overreacting,” Percy said, though he was losing his patience. “Even your parents misbehaved when they were here, you should relax, have fun…”

“I’m having fun,” Mel picked up her bag. “Hermione and Erick are fun. Clever too, I enjoy their company — now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ll be listening to you from now on, Paddie, since you clearly prefer to follow Harry around, if I’m honest,” Mel looked down at Harry with a bit of disdain. “Your cousin isn’t even that bad.”

Both boys gasped at her statement.

“He’s not my direct cousin!” Percy said.

Mel left the common room without saying anything else, Ron entered the tower at the same time and she briefly waved at him. He found the two boys there, seated in silent shock, and asked them what was happening.

“Mel, that’s what,” Percy shook his head sadly. “We’ve lost her... I knew I shouldn’t have let her spend all that time with Granger!”

“And Flint,” Harry said through gritted teeth. “She prefers Flint over us! I can’t believe he took away my best friend!”

Percy looked back at him with utter disbelief. “And what the bloody hell am I, then?”

“She’ll come around,” Ron shrugged. “Granger and Flint only care about studying, she can’t possibly love homework that much.”

“I’ll win her back, you’ll see,” Harry’s eyes narrowed. “Mel was my friend first.”

August 1993

“WHAT?”

“I won’t repeat myself, James.”

“Hang on, so you’re saying Dumbledore hired you,” Matthew intervened. “As the new defense against the dark arts teacher?”

“Yes.”

“Even though Snape has been trying to get that place for years?” Matt added, a little smile playing on his lips.

Remus smirked, nodding silently.

Sirius and James roared with pleased cackles, Matthew’s eyes shone and his smile widened, although he tried his very best to remain neutral, typical Dumbledore behaviour.

Emily walked into the room to say goodbye to her husband, the men usually picked a house where to hang out once a month while the women would all spend a whole day in London simply having fun and leaving their husbands to babysit their children for a whole weekend.

“Remus got hired to be our kids’ teacher, Mily,” Sirius said delightedly. “Guess what subject he’ll be teaching?”

Emily froze, her eyes widening.

“You got the job?”

Remus laughed, nodding once again.

“Snape must be having a seizure,” She replied. “Had it coming, the idiot — Mel says he likes to bully our kids, what kind of man is he?”

“Yeah, Harry says that too,” James said darkly. “I’m telling you right now, if that twat tries to bully my girls I’ll go to that castle and turn him into a weasel.”

“I don’t think that’ll be necessary,” Remus said happily. “I’ll keep an eye on him.”

“Do the kids know about this?”

“Nah, I want it to be a surprise.”

“I’m sure they’ll be delighted,” Matthew grinned. “Their favourite uncle teaching them how to deal with water demons and stuff, bet they’ll plan to cause mischief during your classes, Moony, so you better be careful.”

“There’s no way Mel will let them get away with it,” Emily shook her head. “She’s a good girl… even if she misbehaves a little during summer.”

“Hey, Moony, do me a favour,” Sirius leaned over to Remus, grinning. “Take a picture of good ol’ Snivellus once he finds out you’re the new teacher, I just need to see his face.”

September 1st, 1993

The night sky welcomed the children into the Hogsmeade station, the Potter twins ran away as soon as they left the train, following other first-years, Lyra and Ariana stayed behind with Mel, Harry, Percy, Ron, Hermione and Erick.

Ariana tried to remain as close as possible to Erick, she had a not-so-subtle crush on him and everyone except Erick knew it, or at least that’s what she thought. Erick was well aware of it, but since she was two years younger, he wasn’t interested. It wasn’t that she was trying to make a move anyway, whenever he was around, Ariana was uncapable of uttering a word.

Once they got to the carriages they had to split since the group was too big to fit in one.

“See you guys at the feast,” Hermione said politely.

“Sure,” Ron answered.

Mel made an attempt to follow Hermione, but a hand closed around her wrist and stopped her. She turned and met Harry’s eager eyes.

“Let Lyra go with them, you can come with us...”

“I never said I wanted to go with them,” Lyra frowned. “It’s rude to speak in the name of others, you know?”

Percy’s sister followed Ariana to the other carriage, Ron and Percy shared a smirk but didn’t say anything, climbing up the carriage first and leaving Harry and Mel last.

Harry didn’t know why he’d stopped Mel from going, he just knew that as soon as the school year started she was going to leave him and spend the whole year with Hermione and Flint, and he didn’t want that.

As soon as they got to the main entrance Mel tried to find her way to Hermione once more, but Harry stopped her again. Mel let out an annoyed groan and turned to face him.

“What?” She spat.

“Eat with us,” Harry said simply. “C’mon, Mel, just this once?”

Ron whispered something to Percy and he snorted, pulling the Weasley away from the conversation. Mel and Harry were left completely alone one more time.

“We sit at the same table every day, Glasses,” She replied patiently. “I don’t see the difference.”

“The difference is that we have tons of fun during summer and then here you ignore us,” Harry said.

“I don’t ignore you,” She crossed her arms. “I keep my distance. Which is what my dad asked me to do.”

“Ruddy’s exaggerating,” Harry rolled his eyes. “We don’t get in trouble that often!”

Mel raised a brow.

“You have no self-control. All Percy has to do is to dare you and then there you are, throwing firecrackers at Filch. You say I’m the one who acts different, but the truth’s that you and Percy turn into insufferable prats as soon as we walk into the castle.”

Harry’s mouth fell open in shock, he blinked and stammered a reply, something about lies and Mel’s lack of sense of humour when she was at Hogwarts, she sighed.

“Listen, I don’t care if you like the attention, but I don’t, so please don’t try to force me to get involved. You should reconsider your behaviour this year though, Cassia and Ivy are starting their first year, they need someone to look up to.”

“They have you, since I’m such a twat,” He scoffed.

“Very well then,” Mel said, straightening her posture and looking at Harry with just a little bit of pitty. “Have fun, Glasses.”

Once the sorting was over, Cassia and Ivy Potter (both Gryffindors to no one’s surprise) sat next to Mel, although they were doing just fine without her, they were loud and hilarious, soon Fred and George made their way to them.

Harry continued to stare at Mel from his seat, frowning as he watched her talk happily with Ron’s brothers, Percy was fed up with this and decided to address it.

“She rejected your offer again,” He said calmly. “Told you not to try so soon.”

“Well, why don’t you try it, then? Since you’re such a know-it-all?” Harry responded defensively.

“That was the original plan, you prat, but as usual your impulsive arse couldn’t wait,” Percy scoffed.

“I don’t understand why you want her around all the time,” Ron yawned. “I like Mel, she’s fun and everything, but we wouldn’t get as many attention from the girls as we do now if she were with us, right?”

Both Percy and Harry stared at their friend with the same shocked expression. Since they didn’t reply, Ron decided to continue.

“You guys are wasting your time, almost every girl from our year wants you to ask them out to Hogsmeade this year and you’re crying because Mel won’t help you light a firecracker!”

“I never asked them to follow me around!” Percy exclaimed. “I don’t know why they do it!”

“It’s because you’re ‘perfect’,” Ron smirked. “Girls melt at your feet when you hold the door open or offer your little sister your cloak so she doesn’t get a cold.”

“That’s the way Dad taught me to treat people, isn’t that how everyone’s supposed to act? It’s decency!”

Ron looked at Harry and raised a brow.

“See? That’s exactly what I mean. ‘Decency’ I tell you…”

“That’s not the point,” Harry brushed it aside. “I don’t want to date any girls, I just want Mel to admit that we’re fun! Either way she would atract more girls than any of us, she’s a people magnet— and I know she likes to cause mischief as much as us, but it’s just… this has to be Flint’s fault.”

“How is Mel calling you a twat his fault?” Percy snorted.

“He’s a stuck-up idiot, just like your cousin dearest, only that he hides it better,” Harry said. “Mel wants his approval for some reason, so she acts like she hates us when he’s around.”

“Yup,” Ron said in disbelief. “That settles it then, you’re off your rocker. You’ve lost it.”

“Harry, she would never pretend to hate someone to get a boy’s approval,” Percy shook his head. “You have to face it, mate, she doesn’t like to cause mischief, she… she likes being a good student.”

Ron and Harry both grimaced.

“Well, that,” Ron grinned. “Or she has a crush on Flint.”

Harry choked on his pumpkin juice.

“WHAT?”

“We know Ariana has a crush on him,” The young Weasley shrugged. “Who says she can’t?”

Harry’s mouth suddenly felt too dry to respond, at the teachers’ table Dumbledore stood up and everyone fell silent. It was time for his speech.

“To our new students, welcome,” He smiled. “To our old students, welcome back! A few things before you go to your rooms. This year will have two new Professors! I reckon you know them well by now, but still, formalities ask me to do this presentation. First, we have Rubeus Hagrid, who’ll be the Care of Magical Creatures Professor, since Kettleburn has decided to finally retire.”

The students clapped and cheered, Hagrid was loved by most of the school, Harry and his friends included.

“Second, I’m very pleased to inform you that your new Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts is none other than Mr Remus Lupin, who’s decided to take a break from writing to teach you about his discoveries during his years of research.”

The Great Hall erupted into loud and excited exclamations, Lupin was widely known in the wizarding community for his work, the Aurors in training would use his books as a guide, he was a legend. But to the Potter, Black and Dumbledore children, Lupin was their favourite uncle, and they were beyond pleased to have him around.

Remus walked towards the front of the table and smiled at the students in front of him with satisfaction, he gave a short speech thanking Dumbledore for this opportunity and winked at his nieces and nephews with a bit of mischief. He, of course, took the opportunity to send Snape a subtle smirk and nodded towards him, Snape pretended not to notice.

Once the hall started to be emptied, the group of children ran excitedly towards the table, their faces glowing with happiness.

“You should’ve told us!” Harry exclaimed.

“I wanted to surprise you,” Lupin laughed, softly patting his goddaughter’s shoulder, since Mel was currently hugging him.

“You’ll stay permanently?” Percy asked.

“As long as I’m allowed,” The man nodded. “Or at least, as long as there’s one of you here, which will be a long time. I’ve missed too many moments, I don’t want to miss any more.”

“Cool!” exclaimed the Potter twins.

“Wait, does that mean you’ll tell your parents if we get in trouble?” Harry frowned.

Mel scoffed, which didn’t go unnoticed.

“Nah,” Remus grinned. “I think Professor McGonagall takes care of that. Doesn’t mean I won’t send you to detention if I catch you cheating on a test or using magic in the halls. You won’t get any kind of privilege from me, you hear me?”

Harry, Cassia and Ivy all groaned. Percy sighed in resignation, Ariana and Lyra were just happy to have their uncle around. Mel finally broke the hug, she looked at the others ready to lead them like she always did.

“Time for bed, everyone!” She said. “Let’s go!”

As usual, the group obeyed and walked out of the hall after saying goodbye to Lupin, already looking forward to the classes with him. Lyra and Ariana wished the others a goodnight and left to their respective common rooms. Hermione, Erick and Ron were nowhere to be found, and when Percy, Harry, the twins and Mel got to the tower, Percy stopped her before she could go to bed.

Harry wanted to stay too, but the twins dragged him away while they excitedly begged him to give them a tour around the castle the next morning.

“Okay, this is the one time I’m asking you this year,” Percy said. “Harry’s driving me and Ron mad. Please, help us with one of our pranks so he can shut up.”

“You know my answer, Paddie,” Mel tilted her head sweetly. “I can’t. If I help you and then I get away with it people will think it’s my uncle turning a blind eye on me and then Ariana will try and follow along, you know how she is.”

“C’mon, Mel,” Percy implored. “Can’t you just pretend to be at least slightly interested? Harry’s losing his mind, I’m telling you — the twins will call you boring!”

Mel’s mouth twitched a bit and her eyes narrowed, she was adored by the younger girls, she didn’t want to lose that and Percy knew it. She pushed her hair back in exasperation and huffed.

“No. Stop asking.”

Percy ran a hand across his face tiredly and shook his head.

“Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you,” He raised a brow. “Harry’s getting desperate, and he won’t play nice.”

“What do you mean?” Mel asked, but Percy was already halfway to the stairs. “Black! What do you mean?”

The boy merely looked at her over his shoulder, a cocky grin on his face as he shrugged without speaking.

“Oh, no...” Mel shivered, already sensing what was coming her way.

May 1994

Saturday mornings were usually peaceful around the castle, Remus enjoyed strolling around the empty halls, but today the peace and quiet was rudely interrupted by a bunch of shouting kids.

“HARRY JAMES POTTER I SAID STOP!”

Remus freezes immediately at the familiar sound. He’s heard that voice before, but he’s never heard it so angry, more so when pronouncing the boy’s name. He carefully turns the corner and looks at the scene:

Percy, Ron and Harry are all staring at Mel with exasperated expressions, behind her Draco Malfoy and Vincent Crabbe float above them, cursing and demanding to be let down. Hermione Granger stands at the corner, looking at the boys suspended in the middle of the hall and she’s between amusement and horror.

“Mellow, didn’t you hear what he called ‘Mione?” Harry demands. “He said—”

“I heard it,” Mel replies bluntly. “But hanging him upside down won’t make him stop, he’ll just want to get back at you like he always does!”

“That’s alright, we have all the time in the world to put him in his place,” Ron shrugs, casually twisting his wand and causing Crabbe to crash against Malfoy.

“Don’t you think this is getting a bit old?” The girl steps forward but Percy gets in the way, raising a brow at her as if silently saying ‘D’you really think you can stop us?’ “Ugh! This is so stupid! You’re acting like children, you’re too old for this kind of stuff!”

“You look so pretty when you’re angry,” Harry teases.

Remus almost wants to laugh at the absurdity of this, the story somehow is repeating itself, how did this happen? Mel and Harry were getting along just fine last July…

He then abruptly remembers that he’s a teacher and he’s currently watching three Gryffindor students attack two Slytherins, he can’t stand there and just watch!

“What’s going on here?” Remus asks in what he hopes is his most convincing angry voice.

Percy’s eyes widen at the sight of his uncle but he expertly recovers, he gives a step forward to the man and and speaks in a polite voice.

“Malfoy was insulting Miss Granger, Professor, he called her… well…”

“He called her a mudblood,” Harry made a face. “As if he’s made of anything better than dung.”

“Enough,” Remus looks up at the boys floating above them and raises a brow. “Well? What are you waiting for?”

Mel pushes Percy aside, he complains under his breath.

“I tried to stop them,” She says to the man. “They weren’t listening — Can you please tell them they’re being stupid?”

“I can’t tell them that, Miss Dumbledore,” He raises a brow. “I saw what you were trying to do, you and Miss Granger can leave, I’ll take it from here.”

Mel nods and turns around to take Hermione away, Percy’s eyes find Hermione’s and he tilts his head lightly, vaguely making a head movement as if saying ‘you’re welcome’, and he smirks a bit. Hermione doesn’t reciprocate, she frowns. Percy’s expression falls instantly.

Harry mumbles something to Mel as she walks past him and she stops, looks him directly in the eye, and responds:

“You are the biggest prat ever.”

Ron chortles beside them, Harry’s jaw tenses as he watches her leave.

“Better luck next time, Harry,” He grins.

Malfoy and Crabbe are already on the ground demanding Remus to send the three boys to detention, and he has to admit he can’t ignore this, he looks at Harry and the boy sighs heavily.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” He pushes his hair out of his face. “Detention for a week.”

‘I have to talk to the others,’ Remus thinks, watching the three boys leave the hall without looking even remotely sorry about their actions.

Next Chapter —>

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@dee123ksha @vampiregirl1797 @siriuslysirius1107 @stardusthigh @mikariell95 @vernon-dursley @thesuitelifeofafangirl @tomshollandz @kylosleftbuttcheek @reverse-hxlland @bloodorangemoonlight @omiwashere @t-rexs-world @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @21bruhs @i-am-scared-and-useless-bisexual @dielgonacoffee

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#twoidiots writing #hp fanfic #Harry Potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter xoc #WITT fic #Pure blood #Sirius Black x Oc #young blood crossover #500 followers celebration

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winryofresembool · 4 years

Text

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 9

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: Calypso and Leo have a therapy session of sorts.

A/N: New chapter and some (more) Caleo focus this time! About Leo's fear of fire: fire's obviously a big part of Leo's character and ofc I wanted to put that into this fic somehow. I always wished that he would have had a moment in HoO where he would have come to term with his issues (since he in fact didn't like using his power in TLH bc of reasons but then later on just seemed to forget about it) so, that's kind of what I'm trying to do in this fic. Don't worry, he'll definitely deal with his fear eventually!

Big thanks to Cris again for helping me solve some problem parts! :)) I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and let me know what you think!!

Characters in this ch: Calypso, Leo

Words: 1356

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / next chapter / AO3

...

As the fall progressed, Calypso got inspired to burn candles on the common room table to bring some light to the darkening evening. She had already forgotten about the fire alarm incident a few weeks before so when she heard a scream from the common room while she was reading, she didn’t immediately understand the reason for it.

“What’s wrong?” Calypso rushed into the room, worried something had happened to Leo.

“Don’t. never. ever. leave. a fire. here.” Leo breathed harshly and had to sit down to collect himself. He also looked paler than usually, Calypso noticed.

“But… it’s just a small candle… and there’s nothing burnable nearby… and the fire alarm won’t react to such a small flame either…” Calypso tried to reason. “What’s so bad about it?”

“It just is! You never know what it could do if you leave it unsupervised!” Leo exclaimed, gripping the couch fabric hard with both hands.

“I was just in my room, I would have noticed if something had happened!” Calypso said defensively. Then she remembered the talk she had had with Piper earlier and Leo’s burn marks. “Wait a minute. Is this about that fire... In your house?” she asked quietly, looking at Leo worriedly.

Leo was scowling at her, his expression screaming ‘how do you know about my house’, but he said nothing.

“Piper told me,” Calypso said as calmly as she could even though Leo did look kind of scary with his eyes burning as bright as the candle.

He ran his hand through his hair and made an annoyed growl. “What did she tell you exactly?” he asked after a while. Calypso had to admit to herself she hadn’t expected this kind of reaction from him, about a sole candle.

“Not much more, really. Just what happened to the house, that’s all,” she replied.

“Oh. OK. Good.” Leo seemed to calm down a bit after that piece of information even though he still kept glancing at the small flame nervously every once in a while and his hands were as fidgety as ever.

“You know, there’s nothing wrong with being afraid after such an incident. I have gone through something similar myself. But I think I could be able to help you get over it. Isn’t it hard to be a mechanic who has to avoid fire? Don’t you have to for example weld the metals?”

Leo rubbed his neck awkwardly. “I usually get help from Jo with that,” he admitted.

“Okay. Well, would you let me help you?” Calypso asked.

“No sé," Leo said and Calypso remembered how Piper had told her Leo often goes for Spanish when he’s nervous.

“Please?” she attempted again, trying to make her best Piper impression.

“Fine. Can’t hurt, can it?” he said, still a bit hesitantly.

“We’ll take it slowly. Promise.”

“Okay.”

Calypso sat down next to Leo on the sofa, which seemed to be a bit too close to the candle for his liking, but still far enough that he didn’t just leave. Then she turned towards him and gently lifted his chin so he was facing her directly.

“Now. Tell me a happy memory. Could be anything that comes to your mind. Just a moment you remember enjoying.”

“What kind of hocus pocus is this supposed to be?” Leo asked skeptically.

“It’s not hocus pocus!” Calypso said with annoyance. “It’s called positive reinforcement, making you associate fire with more positive things than you do now.”

“Fine,” Leo said, trying to think of a happy memory. He was quiet for a good while, almost enough for Calypso to break the silence, but then he finally continued: “One of my favorite memories is from the time I found out that I’d get to stay with Jo and Emmie. Until that moment everything felt so… unsure. I didn’t want to wish that it would actually happen because I was so scared of getting disappointed again. I had a bit too much experience on that already. But then they really sat me down and gave me the papers that would make it official. I have never written anything as fast in my life. After that we had a good meal – tacos, of course, because Jo and Emmie already knew I love them – and Georgie helped them bake a small cake. Best cake I’ve ever had.” He smiled crookedly at the memory.

“Oh, that’s a good one!” Calypso said encouragingly. “Very sweet. Your family sounds great. I’d love to meet them one day.”

“Maybe you will,” Leo shrugged. “They live in this town and sometimes drop me something I’ve forgotten.”

“That would be great! I mean, seeing them,” she added quickly, “not you forgetting something… although it’s not hard to imagine that happening to you,” she said teasingly. “Har har. You should know better than to think that kind of teasing would work on the great Leo Valdez.”

“Great? Sorry, Repair Boy, but you’re just too easy to tease.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“Am not.”

“Are too!”

“Is this your idea of distracting me, Sunshine?” Leo asked suddenly.

“What?”

“You are like, 3 inches from me,” he pointed out.

Calypso immediately jumped farther from Leo. She hadn’t even realized that as they were bickering, they had slowly inched closer to each other. Her face turned red and she seemed rather interested in the hem of her shirt when she muttered something like ‘idiot’ under her breath.

“What was that?” Leo asked, a mischievous smile rising on his face.

“Nothing,” Calypso mumbled.

“Anyway,” Leo decided to change the subject. “I shared a memory that’s important to me. I think it’s only fair that you do the same.”

Calypso felt like cursing him, still embarrassed by what had just happened, but then she remembered that she was trying to help Leo get rid of his fear of fire. “Okay.”

She had to think long and thoroughly. Her best memories were from the time when she had still been living with her mother in Greece, which had happened a long time ago. Finally, she remembered one specific moment.

“I was maybe 7. It was summer and we were on a vacation in Malta. My dad had a boat so my mum, my sister and I took it one day while dad was taking care of his businesses and we sailed for a good while until we found a small uninhabited island. We stopped and had a picnic there, nothing too fancy, simple bread and grapefruit, but something about that island… it felt like I was connected to it somehow. Later mum revealed that I had been born there. She and dad had been sailing a few weeks before her due date when she had suddenly started showing signs of being in labor and they had had no other choice but to stop there. It wasn’t until I was already in this world that a medical helicopter had picked them to the hospital.”

“Woah. That’s kinda crazy," Leo commented, looking genuinely interested in her story.

“Yeah. Fate works funny sometimes. Would be interesting to visit that place some time again.”

“Mmmh. I’d like to see some of the world outside this country at some point too.” Leo nodded.

“Well, did it work?” Calypso asked all of a sudden, changing the subject.

“Did what work?” Leo asked with confusion.

“This? Talking? Did it make you forget the fire?” Calypso clarified.

“Oh!” Leo glanced at the flame again but he realized that he had already gotten used to its presence. “You know what? I think it did.”

“Good.”

“But do not push your luck more,” Leo grinned, blowing the flame off. Calypso felt something weird in her stomach when she saw the light reflect from his eyes for a moment. But the moment was gone almost as fast as it had happened and it became darker in the room. Suddenly Calypso felt Leo reach for her hand, squeezing it briefly and telling her: “Thanks, Cal. Maybe we can continue this some other day.”

Calypso was thankful for the lack of light because she was convinced her face was currently more red than her newly dyed hair.

#caleo #leo valdez #calypso #heroes of olympus #percy jackson and the olympians #trials of apollo #my fics #caleo uni au

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there2is0more2to1life · 4 years

Text

1 (790, 12k)

every day is just... getting worse. Spiraling.

I need to get my thoughts out, so here we go:

told my mum I was going to therapy again but I didn‘t want to talk about it because it was late. told her to wake me up tomorrow morning at 7am for an appt to figure out a way for insurance to cover the cost. she started making assumptions about why I‘m feeling like this, putting the blame on me for my situation.

i didn‘t sleep at all. not a second. i go to the doctors office to get an mri of my head bc of headaches, they put in the needle for a contrasting fluid and I almost faint. didn‘t eat the day before. the nurse asks me if I eat enough. I tell her yes, she doesn‘t believe me “your weight says otherwise“ „you should always eat breakfast“... embarrassed. she was nice though

mri is done, i go to my bf‘s place, exhausted. he is still in bed, cuddles me, then starts talking about breakfast and making offers of what I could have with him. I refuse, but let myself be convinced of a bite, I stare at half a piece of toast with cucumber, I fidget and wait, he offers to take half bc I‘m close to tears. for the rest of the day i feel shitty about that fourth of a bread slice (40) and coffee with milk (70)

12 am, my therapist appt - too much to say for one session - talk about clinics and options and my mum and how i feel. insists on seeing my scars and I let her, for the first time. beyond stressed and dizzy, barely walking up the stairs. she gives me work to do, message three more clinics, get some paperwork to the psychiatrists office. my brain isn‘t working, I write it down but forget what exactly she said.

Boyfriend picks me up, I fall into his arms and I‘m finally relieved for a second, but then I remember I have to get the document to the office the same day. my boyfriend suggests going shopping for bread and dips, he ends up buying cinnamon buns bc they smell good, i panic.

we get to his place, he wants to be intimate, I let myself fall for him, warm, safe.

memories flood my brain after. dark and i can‘t see. cold, unsafe.

he offers a bite of cinnamon bun, I try it (50), inside I‘m screaming, he puts on criminal minds and we cuddle. can‘t focus but I survive, I can feel, smell, see him as he reassures me with light hand squeezes.

doctors office, not sure what to do, just gonna drop off the document, maybe they know what to do, already stressed anxious confused, brain fog. i tell the receptionist about the form, she looks confused, gets my name and then remembers my therapist has already called. she is annoyed, points at the stack of documents that are still waiting, tells me those things take time, the doctor has to fill it in, faster isn‘t possible. i leave with the same document, guilty. ashamed.

the dark cloud is bigger than ever, i can barely hold it together on the train back home. i‘m at the train station, some men drinking, watch me walk by, hear one say „this is a good one but a bit small, short“ the other laughs. terrified. anxiety. walk away quickly, feels like i‘m being torn apart, like my body can‘t physically hold so many emotions, so much cold and darkness, thoughts. wishing I could get drugs to OD or at the very least forget, be numb. wishing I could leave this all behind.

come home, happy smile. make myself a salad (70), yoghurt (100), frozen soup (300), feeling like a failure. my sister offers chocolate (60), my brain calculates, little sister sad that nobody wants to try her homemade drink (100 more), defeated.

i wanna be better, i need to feel better, but how?

#roughday #inpatient #eating #fainting #mri #clinic

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papipopsicle · 5 years

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BULLETPROOF HEART

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Genre: angst and some fluff here and there

Summary: In which Billy's only saving grace in Hawkins is his witty neighbour with cotton candy hair. Y/N was sweet, with a soft touch and caring eyes- too bad she's got a boyfriend, and he's a real dick. AU where Billy has a different backstory than in S3.

Request: Could u do a Billy Hargrove x fem!reader where she is in an abusive relationship but he doesn't know bc she's always covering her bruises and cuts with makeup and clothes, until she arrives at his house all f*cked up? You choose the ending, thanks boo! @ghost-broccoli

Song: Sweet Creature by Harry Styles

Warnings: nothing so far

Words: 1.6K

a/n: fluffy beginnings means angst is to come...

feedback is always appreciated

Billy Hargrove had no idea what love meant. His mother had died in a driving accident eleven months ago. Maybe before that the four letter word held some kind of meaning- he'd never admit it, even back then, but she was his entire world.

But his father found no trouble in moving on, less than a month after the traumatic loss and Neil had a new girlfriend. It took three weeks for him to cheat on Susan Mayfield, and a further week for her to convince him to move their entire life to a dingy little town the other side of America. They were as bad as each other, they deserved to strangle one another with their venomous deceit and end up with nothing but hatred in their hearts.

Billy Hargrove didn't know what love truly meant anymore, but if it was an all consuming feeling of irrevocable passion and a want for someone to be truly happy, then he had found it seven months ago on his first day in Hawkins. Yet he did nothing about it, because she seemed happy in her own little world, but Billy would soon find out it wasn't only his father's appearance that could be deceiving.

"So you're the family moving into Mister Clarke's house?" Y/N called out with a small smile hanging from her lips, skipping down the steps of her porch and crossing the road to greet a boy with ringlet hair and olive skin. He seemed to be unloading a cardboard box from the boot of his navy Camaro, keys carefully balanced between his teeth.

"What?" The boy grunted in a muffled voice as he turned around, bored with the conversation already. Not even an hour into arriving in Indiana and he couldn't take another second of this shithole. His eyes were met with a cloud fogging up his vision, or rather, curls upon curls of long cotton candy pink hair bouncing towards him. Y/N grinned while he shimmied the box to take the metal object out of his mouth, "Yeah, I guess I am."

She wore a short white dress with little blue and pink flowers dotted all over it, knee-high grey socks and black combat boots- it seemed utterly bizarre, but without even knowing her, Billy thought it suited her vibrant personality. Cute.

Y/N slung a small pink bag over her shoulder and stuck her hand out, bright smile making the corners of her eyes crinkle ever so slightly. It was refreshing, rather than having puckered lips in his face and tits pushed so far up you couldn't even see a girl's collar bones, that she smiled with ease and had the most beautifully kind eyes his had met in the past four months.

"I'm Y/N Y/L/N, I live just across the road with my mum and little sister. So, are you going to be coming to Hawkins High? I'm a senior- you know, you might be the first new face I've literally ever seen. Well, apart from a newborn, of course." The girl retracted her hand after a few moments, realising both of his were preoccupied and she instead opted to brush some hair away from her face, which fell right back not even a second later.

"Looks like it." Billy smirked a little, letting a genuine smile fall to his features after a moment. He watched her feet bounce up and down a little and her bubblegum hair moved on que, "Billy."

"Well, Billy," Y/N tried to mimic his golden coast tinged accent, eyes racing over the neglected house behind him before returning to his well built figure, "I'm only a few seconds away if you ever need anything, apart from tonight."

"And where're you disappearing off to tonight then, bubblegum?" The Californian boy couldn't help but mirror her happy tone, finding her positivity overwhelming and infectious in the best kind of way. If it were anyone else, Billy would've started to get annoyed at their preppy attitude, but he simply wanted to protect her from anything bad the world could send Y/N's way. Boy, did that thought haunt him to look back on.

"I'm going on a date." She squealed, failing to hide her pure unadulterated excitement, "A first date, actually. He should be here any minute."

Y/N checked her watch and saw that Declan Harper was twelve minutes late to pick her up. Her lips pursed and she chewed at her bottom lip in thought, disappointment hidden behind her shiny eyes, and her mind raced to find any possible excuse. The girl hated being kept waiting- she always put in a conscious effort to be on time when meeting up with someone and when they didn't do the same it felt like she wasn't their priority. But she was certain Declan wasn't like that.

His eyes rolled playfully, catching sight of Y/N's pink glossed lips for two rather long seconds, "Have a great night, bubbles."

Billy sent the curly haired girl a wink, and turned to bring the box into the house he was meant to call a home from now on. Y/N wandered back over the road after telling him to have a great night settling in, sitting on the steps to her porch and glancing down at her watch again to see that more time had ticked by.

"Hey," The girl's head popped up again as Billy reappeared, crossing the road halfway with the first serious look she'd seen him wear, "come find me if he doesn't treat you like a princess, I'm only a few seconds away."

He mirrored her speech, sending a warm fuzzy feeling straight to her head. She ignored that the same feeling hadn't appeared when the basketball player asked her on a dinner date four days ago, and then again when she noticed his car approaching her house.

The night went by, Declan showed up with a small bouquet of yellow and orange flowers in one hand and an apology in the other. Y/N had a great night, pushing aside the twenty minutes of waiting when he made her giggle and blush at his compliments. She kissed him on the cheek goodbye, but just as she was about to open her front door he twisted her around and locked their lips with a passionate grip on her waist.

She let out a yelp, stumbling backwards in surprise only to find his hands steadying her against his toned body, deepening the kiss before finally setting her free. Y/N chuckled awkwardly, stuttering out a goodbye through burning cheeks and bruised lips.

The girl watched through her windows waving Declan off, moving to her mother's room to let her know she had a good time and was home safe before ten. Y/N began to feel flustered and hot, unable to breathe as she removed her make up. She swapped her girly dress for grey tracksuit bottoms and a bright pink sweatshirt reading 'Barbie' in white text.

My first kiss, Y/N though to herself. It wasn't what she was told as a child and imagined for the past ten years. There weren't any sparks or fireworks and there definitely wasn't a giddy spinning surge of happiness in her head. But that was probably just fairytales and fiction, it was nice enough and Declan seemed sweet.

Y/N tied her hair into a ponytail taming her lions mane, chugged down a glass of ice cold water and went to sit on the porch steps where she had been waiting at hours earlier. Her dad always used to yell it wasn't safe to sit there late at night, but nothing ever happened in Hawkins, other than Mister Clarke forgetting to check his post until midnight.

"So," a deep yet soothing voice called from what seemed like the indigo night sky.

"God?" Y/N whispered in disbelief, looking around to see a shadowy figure appear across the chewed up road.

"Girls have been known to call me that." Billy chuckled, his person dimly lit by the nearby street lamp. His new neighbour looked all too sweet sat on the bottom step of her porch, chin sat against her fleece covered knees, eyes almost glittering in the amber light.

"Shush, you cheeseball." She patted the empty step beside her "Come sit for a bit?"

For over an hour, Y/N Y/L/N and Billy Hargrove chatted about all kinds of nonsense. She told him about the date and her kiss, unable to hide her reservations from Billy that she hid so well from herself. But he didn't say anything, he let her pretend to be happy because, at least her smile was still beaming with hope.

Looking back on it, now with her fragile frame pressed up against his on the exact same steps. He never realised how tiny she was until now, small whimpers and hiccups jolting their body's with his hand pressed against the bloodied forehead he had kissed goodbye too many times.

If only he knew sooner it wasn't hope in her eyes, but the want for something so pure and honest that she never knew what love truly felt like. Declan warped her mind into believing this was love, that love hurt more than healed, and Billy blamed himself for all the torture this flawless soul had to go through.

part two?

Taglist:

@ilkaeliseb @florenceivy @annas-unicorun @astro-sweetheart @4everchrista @delicatelyherdreams @mautand @me-a-hopeless-romantic @buckysjuicyplums @fengarifood @lucyrocks86

Wanna be tagged?? Just send in an ask x

#fanfic #fanfiction #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #billy hargrove #stranger things fanfic #stranger things imagine #billy hargrove fluff #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove fanfic #billy hargrove angst #billy x reader #billy imagine #billy angst #billy fluff #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove imagines #billy hargrove x reader

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matildastuartsold · 5 years

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hshq task twelve: a timeline

it reads as a semi lil self para’s and part news report...bc i didn’t wanna self para as a 3 year old. tw: abortion, implied drug used, mentions of underage, mentions of age differences, image issues, pregnancy, mentions of possible grooming, body image issues, possible signs of bulimia,

december 19th, 1997

for the third time in the last four, almost five years, the town crier of edinburgh stood just inside the gates of holyrood announcing the birth of a third princess, named matilda.

june 18th, 2001

at three years old, princess matilda made her first public appearance with her family at the royal highland show. the littlest princess made her appearance well known running off excitedly with yells of “maude-y!” following her, showing off her cartwheeling skills, and waving at everyone who looked especially those with a camera.

november 30th, 2005

she doesn’t know a life without the media and having to parade around them. like today, skipping through st. andrew’s day activities some of her earliest memories surrounded people with cameras desperately clicking and yelling the names of her mum and dad, her sisters and her. matilda liked it though, she could simply become the only name they yelled with a simple smile or a wave. she liked it, but she was tired of being called matilda. she didn’t want to be called matilda, she wanted to be called tilly, like her friends all called her. it’s why she turned around with a frown at the reporter who yelled matilda. “i’m not matilda! my name is tilly!” crossing her arms across her chest, she stuck her tongue out annoyed at the her full name. even with her mother and father’s scold of “matilda!” and her tilly let her father scoop her up in his arms making a face at the paparazzi as she was carried away.

january 4th, 2010

“but i don’t want to go to gordonstoun!” not that even mattered, ever since her mother became a queen last year it was never even worth putting in her own thoughts, not that it ever had been. now though it was going against the queen, not just her mum. tilly just didn’t want to go to gordonstoun with her sisters. it seemed so boring. still the press release was already out, trunks already in her room ready to be back. “if i have to go someone will regret it!”

september 19th, 2011

crushes were nice, all the boys in her year, the year above her, some even in margot’s year paying her attention, she’d be dumb if she didn’t enjoy it. so what if she kept sneaking out with them to smoke cigarettes and drink beers on the roof. she likes the attention from it. what was the school going to do? make her do laps? please, she wouldn’t do it and they couldn’t make her. so she found herself giggling at whatever connaugh mcdaniels was saying and took the sip of beer he was offering, because all eyes were on her in a way that they hadn’t been before.

april 31st, 2013

“i’m the fucking may queen!” throwing her head back in laughter, tilly twirled around the flower crown a top her head never moving. sneaking out to go to beltane, was the smartest decision she’d made in a while. falling back against her favorite duke to be she’d been going almost all the way with frequently, she took the flask from her best friend, georgia, taking a far too long sip of the vodka. she was happily drunk, feeling the brisk spring air on the hill hit her. she didn’t care about the obvious presence from people taking pictures of them. it didn’t matter she was drunk and determined for her goal of the night, losing the v card. “richard,” she smirked up at him. “we should head back to the tent, your may queen demands it.” letting out a giggle she moved back going for another twirl as she reached for his hand.

july 27th, 2014

she still doesn’t understand what the big deal is, her mother pacing back and forth going on and on about propriety. catherine looking like a mirror of her mother’s upset. her father’s disappointment. “i’m sixteen, just because i’m under this bloody crown doesn’t mean i’m not gonna go out and have fun!” her eyes glanced at the various magazine and newspaper headlines in front of her. she doesn’t see the issue with it, minus the invasion of privacy, in the picture she’s just pressed against the wall making out with one of her guy friends. she’s hearing the words come from everyone’s mouths but she’s not listening. just blankly sitting there.

february 3rd, 2015

“you’re what?! tilly you can’t sleep with your math tutor!” tilly turned at the exclamation from her friend, a look of confusion on her face. “why not? i need to pass and he apparently wants to fuck a princess it’s a win win! besides he’s not that old i doubt he’s even thirty.” besides it was better than any of the guys in their class asking to lose it with her. at least it would be good and she’d pass. she didn’t see an issue. plus it felt good to be wanted, to have someone want her and not want her to be like her sisters. who cared if he was a married man approaching his 30s? he wanted her.

september 10th, 2015

she woke up on her bathroom floor in just the lingerie she wore under her dress before going out. not that she cared after all, she’d probs look skinnier from throwing up all the drinks from the night before. she brushed her teeth, throwing her hair into a ponytail. Wiping off the remnants of her make up from the night before she looked on at the stranger in her bed. “get out before a walk of shame is too embarrassing, for your own well being.” Watching the man leave she shook her head curling into bed ignoring her phone continue to blow up again and again, no doubt people seeing pictures of the night before.

may 4th, 2016

“fuck! jesus fucking christ i look awful!” seeing the press release photo on the cover of the magazine sitting in front of her on the table, she picked it up and tossed it straight towards the trash can. looking back at her partner for her textile project, she gave her a look. another example of her being the worst of the family. “tell me why you thought bringing a tabloid where i look awful in would really make a good study environment?” shaking her head, she picked up her phone seeing who could come over tonight, she might be able to convince richard to get on a flight. she’d slept with arthur a few times maybe him? there were more than a few posh boys at oxford she’d met on her visits. shaking her head she motioned at the fabric she brought. “they’re all recycled, should work for what we need.”

january 3rd, 2017

"matilda herietta annabelle stuart how could you be so wildly irresponsible?!” her mother is screaming, her father looks disappointed. she knows she fucked up because it’s just the two of them. having her parents attention on just her, she could probably count the times that’s happened on just one hand alone. she doesn’t regret flashing the paparazzi though, the magazines printed with trainwreck tilly subtle covering where she’d lifted her top, but it was still obvious she had. “i was drunk, it was hogamany, i must have been black out by that point.” she knew it didn’t matter, watching her mother go into another rant. still, it felt nice for once to be the only person that mattered to her parents.

october 31st, 2017

she was didn’t know where she was really not that it mattered. she went up to oxford to party with the posh guys and all her. you could barely call the white lingerie she wore an angel costume, something she thought would an irony. she probably mixed too many liquors and too many drugs together. still she reaches for the hand of the guy she’s leaning on pulls him to a door, hoping one will be a bathroom or a bedroom. with her luck she’ll see what happened tonight on twitter in the morning.

august 7th, 2018

they told her to be on her best behavior, that she’s technically working edinburgh fringe festival. still she thinks she’s doing a charitable deed. she’s buying these poor struggling actors alcohol and then getting into drinking contests with them. it’s all rather sensible if you ask her. she’s doing a charity besides it feels good being the center of attention. she’s sitting on the actual bar, a rather attractive actor from some play or some shit she watched today has his hand on her thigh. why would she do anything else?

september 7th, 2019

she knew that the braemar gathering was a big deal, she’d been to it almost every year of her life. still it didn’t mean she wasn’t bored as hell after a day of it, it’s why she’d pulled richard aside at the noble dinner at balmoral later that evening. her own personal playground as a kid, she knew exactly which cupboard to push him in. it would have been so much nicer if her mother’s fucking cheif of staff hadn’t opened the door when she was on her knees. the yelling wasn’t even bad, it was the punishment. her life being packed into suitcases around her as she sat on her bed back in edinburgh 24 hours later. no what hurt the most was her mother’s last words to her before she got on the plane to dubai, “i wonder if you’ll ever stop disappointing me.”

december 23rd, 2019

“you’ve got to be fucking kidding me?! happy birthday, happy christmas, we’re marrying you off to the crown prince of venezuela! how could you do this to me mum? catherine just said-” she doesn’t think she’s ever been more furious in her life. opening the bottle of vodka and lining up the cocaine she said on her. “you know what i don’t care if i was drunkenly with him once, mother it doesn’t mean i want to fucking marry him! you’re ruining my life! forgive me, your majesty. i won’t forget from now on i’m your subject, not your daughter. have a happy christmas, goodbye.” she threw the phone, then threw a shot back looking at the lines she set up. “lola!” she screamed walking towards her suitcase. “i want to look sluttier than a prostitute whose rent is due tomorrow, a christmas present to my mother given my engagement. i don’t want to remember tonight.”

janurary 21st, 2020

she knew for days, something was wrong. she wasn’t how she always was, then she got sick, consistently, three mornings in a row. sitting staring at the line of positive pregnancy tests that were in her bathroom sink she looked at cora rubbing her back comfortingly. “i need to call or text or- there are only two people i don’t make wear a condom and i haven’t slept with richard since september.” grabbing her phone she sent a quick ‘come over now’ text. and threw her phone towards the bed. “burn the tests tonight, get them out of her, taking them to the fucking mcdonalds to throw them away if you have to. they aren’t gonna be anywhere near me though, it can not ruin everything. my mother already hates my existance, she’d send me to the fucking gallows if i ruined her one chance at getting rid of me. not a word of this to her spy either or catherine.”

janurary 24th, 2020

it was cold and she was crying. laying on the chair in the doctor’s office, she held onto cora’s hand like it was her only way of living and she felt so much relief knowing that if she needed it neil would carry her out of the building. “i know, i’m not the model catholic or really any religion, but i still feel wrong, i feel guilty. i don’t know what else to do though.” so she cried, letting her communications advisor and his wife comfort her like they were her parents. sometimes they feel more like parents than her own. when the doctor comes in, tells her its going to pinch and might be uncomfortable, she lets cora distract her with stories of her and neil when they started dating. while she doen’t need him to carry her out, she leans on them both the whole way to car, letting herself come to terms that she wasn’t pregnant anymore.

march 9th, 2020

“félix, i’m going to get fucking wasted at the beach,” she wasn’t sure when she got fucking domestic. she lives with her fiancé, they share a bed, fucking wedding magazines are sent to her. it feels like she’s in a snow globe. one where she barely recognizes who she is. she still looks in the mirror and remembers that if things had been different her stomach would probably have a bump now, not be the flat as it is. so instead, she’s taken to more day drinking, trying not to think about the thing only 6 people in the world know about and why it makes her feel so empty.

#hshqtask012 #this is 2200 words of why tilly is as fucked up as she is #pls send her to therapy #ok her go my triggers #tw abortion #tw pregnancy #tw body issues #tw mentions of bulimia #tw possibilities of grooming #tw mentions of age differences #tw drugs #ok i think thats it?? scrolling is so MUCH WORK #im on a roll tonight tho #*here go #as always i hope u all realize richard is a filler name and its a dick joke

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hqkj · 5 years

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she’s here · kaia

date & location — wed. feb 5, 2020 / vancouver, bc. tl;dr — the apa’s welcome a new family member featuring — @maiimitchell, charlie mitchell, emma brown (charlie’s gf) trigger warning(s) — NONE

KJ: Emma was due any day. A walking piñata and the prize inside? His soon to be best little friend, his daughter. Her ankles were swollen to double the size and that in itself was enough of an indicator, right? Over the last few weeks, KJ and Maia had tried to spend as much time with Emma and Charlie as they could without coming off as overbearing or smothering. It was a thin line to walk but as the days counted down to the official due date, it became harder and harder to contain their excitement. No matter how excited he was, however, the young actor still had to go to work. At the present, that is where he was: sitting on the floor of his trailer, waiting for the next scene to get set up so they could shoot. HIs phone vibrated beside him but, lost in his script, KJ didn’t bother looking up. It stopped. It started again. He ignored it. It stopped. A short pulse. Another short pulse. A third. Annoyed, he grabbed his phone. Two missed calls from Maia. Three texts: EMMA’S WATER BROKE. IT’S HAPPENING. BABY COMING.

Maia: Maia knew how scared Emma was about having this baby. KJ and her had been able to take some worry away when they decided to adopt the little girl growing in her belly but there was little they could do to ease the stress of having push the baby out. Maia did her best to distract the younger brunette, bringing movies over to watch with her and trying to make her as comfortable as possible. Today was the one day she’d planned to stay home and finish getting the babies nursery stocked up. Everything their friends had sent them had been washed or assembled and was ready to be put away. She’d just started filling the dresser with fresh onesies when her phone rang and Charlie told her Emma had gone into labour. In a panic Maia quickly called KJ. Emma wasn’t due until the weekend and she wasn’t even sure KJ could get off work at this point. Rushing her way to the hospital found herself in an empty waiting room, pacing the floor as she waited for any more news from Charlie and Emma. In all the commotion these past few weeks they never had figured out how this part went. Did they go into the delivery room? Did they wait here until a nurse brought them to meet their daughter? These were the things the parenting books hadn't taught her and the lack of clarity had her getting more anxious by the second.

KJ: “She’s coming...she’s coming!” Scrambling to his feet, KJ grabbed the nearest jacket - Archie’s football letterman jacket - and practically leapt from his trailer, taking off towards the parking lot. “I gotta go--” He ran into (literally ran into, collided with) the episode’s director, stammering his excuses, praying that the plan he’d set up with production would stand...even a week earlier than expected. “My -- my daughter’s coming!” Not slowing down an inch, he only heard the faint calls coming from behind him, assuring him he’d still have a job waiting for him upon his return. The car ride there was a blur and soon, the redhead was bolting through the front doors of Vancouver General. He was all but shouting Maia’s name, unsure where to find them. Of all the talks that had been had in the days before Lilah’s arrival, a step-by-step hospital plan hadn’t been one. Had they all gone into a delivery room already? Looking around, KJ found a familiar head of messy brown hair, pacing. “Hey hey, I’m here.” He wrapped his arms around her, catching her body mid motion. “How’s Emma and Char? Where are they? Did they go in? Are we gonna go in? What’s happening?” His mind and heard and body were going a mile a minute. He needed to breathe. After a deep breath in and out, he looked down at his wife. “Our girl is almost here.”

Maia: Maia continued to pace, wearing a hole in the linoleum floors. Her mind racing as she wondered if KJ would make it, if Lilah would have a safe delivery, if Emma was okay. While Maia had been unusually calm in the weeks leading up to this it seemed she was falling back into her old worrisome ways. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a familiar voice behind her. The thick accent was unmistakable and much needed. “Kaje,” she exhaled softly, her arms wrapping around him as he pulled her close. “You made it! I wasn’t sure they’d let you leave.” For a minute she just hugged him tightly, letting some of her stress melt away. “I don’t know, they haven’t told me anything. Charlie said the doctor was checking her out to see how dilated she is. I don’t know—- we never talked about that. The nurse said in these sort of situations they can take the baby from one delivery room into another where we can be waiting and see her right away. That way it’s not traumatic for the birth mum and the baby still gets to bond with a parent and be soothed after being born. Is that okay with you? We wouldn’t be in the delivery room but we’d get to see her right away.” She knew how Emma and Charlie felt and was sure the less time they spent with the baby today the better they’d feel. “I can’t believe she’s almost here.”

KJ: “No one was gonna be able to keep me away,” he murmured into her hair, their bodies swaying slightly as they took a moment to embrace one another. “Go in with her. Be with Emma, she’s gonna need someone to help her through this. Things are rocky between the two of them, Charlie not wanting to be in the room when it happens is understandable and Emma not wanting me in there goes without saying. I’ll stay with Char in the other room, hang with him, but I feel like Lilah Love should have at least one of us there when she rips into the world. Hopefully Emma won’t mind.” While there was very little about this entire pregnancy/adoption that fell into the traditional category, KJ was still very much a traditionalist and his not wanting Lilah to be brought into the world without the people she would know as her parents present was simply his parental instincts beginning to kick in. “And then you can bring her to me whenever you get the green light. Would you do that for me, babes? I’d feel a lot less anxious knowing you were in there in case something goes wrong.” They said it all the time, the two of them, that they were a team; where one ended, the other began and this was just another perfect example to that claim. Maia could represent for the both of them and if hers was the very first face Lilah saw, the kid would start her life off right.

Maia: Maia squeezed him a little tighter as he told her no one could keep him away from their daughter. It was crystal clear to her that he was ready to be a father and would stop at nothing to be the best man he could be. Pulling back Maia met his gaze, wanting to make sure he was really okay with her going in and being with their daughter "Are you sure? I didn't want you to be all alone out here." She appreciated him wanting to stay with Charlie, she knew he didn't want to be in the room. He wanted to separate the thought of this baby being his mistake and focus on it being the little niece he's going to love the hell out of. "I'll do it, I'll go support Emma and help bring our little girl into this world. But you better be ready to cry and fall in love when I bring her to you," she smiled up at KJ before pecking his lips." Time moved slower as she made her way down the hall to Emma's room, hugging her brother and whispering "I got this" in his ear. She'd never forget the look of sheer relief on his face as he realized his sister was coming to the rescue yet again. "KJ is in the waiting room waiting for you. He'll buy you some coffee." Charlie gave Emma a kiss and whispered some motivational words before heading off to meet his brother in law. Maia was sure she heard the sigh of relief as he walked out the door. Now it was time for Maia to be Emma's rock and get her through one of the hardest things she'd ever do.

KJ: “I love you and I promise I’ll be a bonafide basketcase the second I see her. It’s the least I can do. Now go. Be your superwoman self and give some of that badass energy to Ems. Pretty sure she’s gonna need it about now.” With that, he watched his wife disappear behind a set of swinging double doors. Next time he saw her, she’d have their daughter in her arms. Talk about a mindbending thought. Did KJ want to bear witness to the birth of his first child? Of course. But right now, Team Apa needed to be in two places at once and this was the only arrangement that made sense. Maia and her freakish memory would just have to retell the entire experience in a few days time when the sheer chaos of Lilah’s arrival calmed down. Jill wasn’t even set to fly in for two more days, not expecting the baby to come early. By the time KJ rejoined Charlie in the waiting room - the Kiwi actor double fisting hot vending machine coffees - he could hear Jill’s voice echoing, radiating from the facetime call happening on Charlie’s phone. Exhaustion waved over him the second he collapsed on the seat beside his brother in law. He remained silent, simply listening to Charlie and Jill speak in hushed but excited tones, making plans for when Mama Mitchell touched down. “And KJ.” His mother-in-law’s voice directed at him caused his attention to focus back. Charlie tipped the phone until he saw himself in the bottom corner. Jill wore a large smile, her eyes glassed with obvious emotion. “Congratulations, sweetheart.”

Maia: Maia always said she couldn't love KJ more than she already did, her heart was full beyond capacity because of him. But in moments like this it was like she could feel her heart grow a little bigger just so she could love him some more. "I love you and the next time I see you I'll be bringing you our little girl." Maia beamed up at him before saying her goodbyes and making her way into the maternity ward. At this point Maia saw Emma in an entirely different light. Over the last month Emma had moved from her brothers girlfriend to her babies birth mother to her friend. They girls had spent enough time together lately that she felt honoured to be in the room next to her, talking her through the painful contractions and fears of child birth. It took hours before Emma was finally dilated enough for the nurse to get the doctor. "Just a little while longer, you're almost there. I can see the baby start to crown so I'm going to page the doctor, okay?" The words coming out of the nurses mouth felt too surreal. Before the doctor could arrive Maia typed out a text to KJ. 'It's showtime!' she text him, butterflies spinning around her stomach as she prepared for their whole life to change. The sweat and tears it took to bring Lilah into the world left Maia feeling a whole new sense of admiration for the mothers of the world. "Is she okay? Did I do okay? Maia--- is your little girl alright?" Emma asked, breathlessly after passing the after birth. Meanwhile a nurse had moved the baby to the far side of the room to clean her up and clear her lungs and Maia couldn't take her eyes off them. "You did amazing! She's here and she looks perfect. They're just cleaning her up, don't you worry okay? You did. You're okay now. You just breathe and relax!"

KJ: Hours passed. He knew babies sometimes took their sweet time making their grand entrance but this was bordering on ridiculous. He knew Lilah wasn’t biologically his but this whole diva act, making everyone wait on her? That was something he would do. This was something he hoped would eventually stop: his bad habit of constantly searching for things about her that could potentially be attributed to him. It more than likely came from that insecurity he felt deep down in his chest, the one he had tried to convince himself didn’t actually exist, the one that picked at the frays of his heart and reminded him that he wasn’t Lilah’s father and that he never would be. Before he could go too far down this rabbit hole, his phone buzzed with Maia’s update. He hit Charlie on the shoulder and showed his screen, both boys instinctively sitting up a little straighter in their seats. It was such a surreal thought, to think somewhere a few rooms down, Emma was giving birth to the tiny little girl everyone was waiting so eagerly to meet. Him especially. About half an hour later, a nurse came in and escorted them into the maternity ward, guiding them to an unoccupied room that had a rocking chair beside the bed before letting him know Maia and the newborn would join them momentarily. Somewhere down the hall, a baby cried and don’t ask him how but KJ knew. “That’s my girl,” he whispered, so quiet he wasn’t even sure Charlie had heard him. And just like that, any nasty insecurities he had let himself buy into vanished. He was officially a dad, he had a daughter...there was no other truth.

Maia: Exhausted, and rightfully so, Emma leaned back against the bed and smiled up at Maia. “We did it,” she sighed. Emma had put a lot of stress on herself these last few weeks. So many people were counting on her to deliver this perfect baby to KJ and Maia and she was so worried she’d fall short. What if the baby was ugly? What if it was born with some sort of a disorder? All these thoughts and more ran through her head right until she saw Maia grinning ear to ear at her and telling her the baby was okay. “You’re going to make a great Mum Maia,” she whispered once more before the nurse told her to rest. The doctors escorted Maia out to stitch Emma up and prep her to head over to recovery. Her only request was that she send Charlie to her room when she saw him. In other room a nurse cleared the baby, telling Maia she was breathing on her own and had a strong heart beat. When she passed the baby over to her she felt herself fall in love all over again. Looking down she laid eyes on her daughter in her arms for the first time. Her bottom lip trembling from being in the cold air outside the womb. “Oh you’re just like Mama, you don’t like the cold either.” Her eyes were filling with happy tears as she rocked the baby and tried to keep her warm. “Your husband is in the maternity room down the hall waiting for the two of you. You can take your time heading over and a nurse will meet you both there in about a half hour for her first feeding. We’ll show you both how to help her take the bottle.” The nurses soft and sweet voice was appreciated as they tried to help Maia navigate the day her whole life changed.After spending a few minutes just staring at her daughter and memorizing her little face Maia felt it was finally time for her to meet KJ. “C’mon little bug, I think Daddy’s waiting for us.” Maia only got a few steps into the hall when Lilah began to fuss, reminding her that the baby was probably getting hungry. “I know, baby I know. We’ll get you some milk in just a second okay?” She held her to her chest, kissing the soft hair on the top of her head. Rounding the corner she poked her head into the room, her face lighting up when she saw KJ. “Look who I found Little bug.” Lowering her back down to cradle in her arms she showed KJ Lilah for the first time. “There’s Daddy!” She smiled so wide it almost hurt as she extended her arms out to offer KJ the baby. Once she’d passed her off her hugged Charlie and whispered a thank you in his ear. There was a quick congratulations from him before he went off to find Emma and give them some alone time. “Isn’t she perfect?” she whispered to KJ.

KJ: Soon enough, Maia appeared in the doorway, a tiny pink bundle cradled in her arms. The edges of the blanket peaked high enough that, from his vantage point, he couldn’t see her face until Maia was beside him. But once she was there, once his gaze found Lilah’s little face, his normally steady breathing hitched. Her tiny nose, her tiny closed eyes, her tiny mouth forming a tiny O as she cried. And then Maia was extending her arms, offering him his first opportunity to hold his daughter. “Are you sure?” He whispered, suddenly second guessing everything he knew about childcare. Taking a deep breath, he took Lilah in his arms, mimicking the pose he’d seen Maia sporting moments before. The infant squirmed in his arms and all KJ could think was don’t drop her, don’t drop her, don’t drop her. He watched as Maia and Charlie hugged each other and exchanged hushed words, his gaze quickly returning to Lilah who seemed to be calming herself, snuggling into the crook of his arm. She was so small, it was unreal. He could hold her head in one hand and she fit lengthwise on his forearm. Charlie left and Maia returned to his side as he sat on the edge of the bed, allowing his wife to sit in the rocking chair. “She’s beautiful,” he agreed, his eyes welling up as the gravity of reality finally settled upon him. “This is it,” the young man mused, his eyes never leaving Lilah and her perfect face. “Our very first moment as a family of 3.” Only then did he force himself to look away from his daughter and instead at his wife. His smile beamed as he moved to hand her back before he gave into his deep urge to squeeze her way too tight.

Maia: “Mhm, you got this,” she whispered to him. Once she passed over the baby she traced a circle with her palm along his back. Silent words of encouragement that he would be great with their daughter. Seeing KJ hold Lilah and fall as in love with her as Maia was truly made her heart feel so full. She wished she could stop time and hold onto this moment right here for a while longer. “She’s a little fussy. The nurse said she’s going to bring buy a fresh bottle and help us do her first feeding in a few minutes.” Like an allstar dad KJ seemed to have no problem soothing her and getting her to calm down. Pulling out her phone Maia snapped a photo of Lilah snuggling into KJs arms and sent it to the family group chat with the caption, “I think he’s in love!”. As soon as she saw the tears in his eyes she knew she was a goner. She’d be a sobbing mess if he kept this up! “The Apa family are finally all together.” Slipping into the rocking chair she made herself comfortable before KJ passed their daughter back to her. “It’s scary how much I love something so tiny,” she chuckled softly. “Lilah Love, you the best gift your Daddy ever gave me. I’m so thankful for you both!” With misty eyes she bowed her head down and kissed her soft newborn cheeks.

KJ: He heard the snap sound of Maia taking what would go down in history as the first picture he had with his daughter, a sound that made him smile down at Lilah even bigger. He wanted to memorize every single winkle on her face, the shape of her fingernails, the dip of the bridge on her little nose. “Lilah, it’s Dad. Welcome to the family, sweet girl. We’re so glad you’re finally here.” In an afternoon of firsts, her tiny fist gripping his pinky finger perhaps topped them all. Once Lilah was back in Maia’s arms, KJ took his turn to sit back and soak in the scene before him. As adamant as they’d both been about waiting to start their family, he couldn’t deny how right this all looked and felt. Her whispered words to their daughter brought another wave of tears to his brown eyes. Lowering himself, he pressed a kiss atop Maia’s bowed head, one hand resting lightly on Lilah’s, his thumb brushing gentle strokes against the dark brown fuzz of hair she was already sporting. “This might have started off looking like another one of our off-the-cuff decisions but this is exactly--” His words caught in his throat, choking on a quiet sob. “Exactly how our family was supposed to start, wasn’t it? This is how everything was meant to happen.”

Maia: Happening in front of her was the exact moment that KJ was falling head over heals for their daughter. Fortifying the father daughter bond that they’d have for the rest of her life. After growing up without her Dad for the better part of her life she felt so proud and so honoured to have been able to marry a man like KJ and give their kids a father that they really could look up to and count on. “Daddy’s officially out numbered,” she said softly with a little chuckle. In all honesty she could sit there all day happily listening to KJ babble to their daughter. It just made her so happy to sit back and watch them together. Once she had Lilah back in her arms she soothed her until those little eyes fell closed again. It wasn’t love before KJ hovered over her, kissing the top of her head as he nestled in close to his girls. At his comment she nodded slowly. “You were always meant to find us Little Bug,” Maia whispered back to the baby. “You’re the best decision we ever made.” Turning her head she looked at her husband, grinning as she spotted his misty eyes. “I knew you’d be the crier,” she teased him playfully. “I can’t believe we did it. She’s here! She’s here and she’s all ours! This is our life now!” In her arms, wrapped in a pink blanket, was their entire world. The person they would move mountains for and protect at all costs from here on out. “I’m so happy Kaje. This life with you is all I’ve ever dreamed of. Thank you baby.”

#— f2f.#p — she's here.#— maia mitchell.#CRIES INTO THE ABYSS FOREVER

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bitchronan · 6 years

Text

Sun-Struck

Millicent/Ginny

Non-magical, college, texting AU

Warning for language & alcohol use

ao3

Tuesday, 11:04

Pansy to what was our group chat name again: Millie.. what was that?

Millicent: what was what?

Pansy: you just walked into a tree?

Millicent: I literally did not

Pansy: idk how else to say this .. yes you did

Blaise: hate to agree w/ pansy but I also bore witness

Millicent: ur all dirty fucking liars

Tracey: Ginny weasley just walked past

Tracey: don’t worry millie I don’t think she saw

Theo: wait what????

Theo: ginny weasley!!!?????

Millicent has left the group

Pansy to dynamo titties: don’t think ur getting off this lightly

Millicent: why couldn’t I have better mates

Daphne: fuck right off we’re amazing

Astoria: heard you’ve got wet knickers for weasley female

Millicent: I’m blocking you all fr

Millicent @itsmilliebitches

for sale: shitty friend group, will poke their giant noses in ur business and leave their dirty socks on yr floor (DRACO), starting bid: $0.06 and a piece of gum

reply / retweet / like

Wednesday, 09:43

Pansy created the group weaslette recon

Pansy added Millicent to the group

Pansy added Draco to the group

Pansy added Daphne to the group

Pansy added Blaise to the group

Pansy added Astoria to the group

Draco to weaslette recon: oooo exclusive members only club

Pansy: this is serious shit

Pansy: no fucking around

Blaise: except for millie

Blaise: ba dum tss

Daphne: please never say that again

Pansy: you have all been chosen for your unique talents

Pansy: Millie obviously u have no talents ur just here bc ur the one w the mega crush

Pansy: Daph ur weird friends w potter we can use that

Millie: oh thanks

Daphne: weird friends …

Pansy: Draco ur just super nosy

Pansy: Tori u and Ronald are still ‘friends’ right?

Pansy: and blaise u just have weirdly good stalker talents

Blaise: right so why are you here?

Pansy: im the brains obviously

Astoria: obviously..

Wednesday, 12:17

Astoria to ronnie 🌸: what are you up to??

Ron to tori 🌟: just laundry you?

Astoria: you know

Astoria: I have laundry to do too

Ron: 😊

Blaise to draconis: you know I think the binoculars are a bit of a give away

Draco to blaze: it’s part of the look blaise

Draco: I’m committed to the aesthetic

Blaise: god ur gay

draco @dracodormiens

need new friends who can truly appreciate the effort I put into being the only one w/ taste or sense of style.. or a skincare routine

reply / retweet / like

Wednesday, 13:54

Draco to weaslette recon: this is what I have learnt thus far about weasley the smallest:

Draco: she literally does not own any shoes other than sneakers

Draco: which, quite frankly, is a crime

Draco: she’s a lot taller than you think she is

Draco: I would say around 5’7

Draco: bearing in mind millie that you are actually the shortest person alive

Draco: that could present issues

Draco: also she’s friends with loony lovegood which doesn’t speak highly of her taste

Astoria: okay I actually learnt something useful so I’ll go now

Draco: ‘useful’?? okay Sherlock do your worst

Astoria: Ron said she plays football Monday, Tuesday and Fridays and some weekends

Astoria: she’s on the varsity team

Astoria: she works at that coffee shop by the science building

Astoria: she loves animals and volunteers at a rescue shelter when she has the time

Astoria: he also said she’s the most annoying person alive, has no sense of personal space and always takes his shit

Astoria: seeing as he’s her brother I think this is a bit of a biased assessment

Pansy: Astoria thank you for your good work

Pansy: draco I’m doubting your usefulness to this mission

Draco: guess I’ll just die then

Wednesday: 16:02

Daphne to cilliment: ginnys at the library

Daphne: surrounded by admirers

Millicent to dangly: can u blame them

Daphne: god ur wet

Millicent: 🖕🏼

Millicent @itsmilliebitches

Some people are actually like the sun and everyone is just drawn to them ☀️

reply / retweet/ like

Wednesday, 19:16

Ron to grotty sibling #6: Astoria was asking a lot about you earlier

Ginny to roonil: I wouldn’t find your girlfriend asking about your family odd apart from the fact that Draco Malfoy and Blaise zabini were following me around w a pair of binoculars

Ginny: btw I bagsie letting mum down in favour of my social life this week

Ron: fuck no I already have plans

Ron: also, not my girlfriend

Ginny: not if I text her first you don’t

Ginny to birthgiver: mom I can’t come to dinner this weekend I have important plans

Ron to Mom: Can’t make dinner this weekend but Ginny will be there she has nothing on xx

Molly to Family: Any more of my ungrateful children want to stand me up this weekend?

Fred: now you mention it….

One notification [view / ignore]

Ginny Weasley @ginnyweasley like your tweet: “@itsmilliebitches: Some people are actually like the sun and…”

Thursday, 11:07

Theo to what was our group chat name again: why have we not spoken for like three days

Theo: wtf is going on??

Blaise: definitely not bc we have a new secret gc w/out you

Theo: hahaha I would rip your throat out

Pansy: :/

Theo to bbbbbbbBLAISE: who is in this secret group chat

Theo: ANSWER ME

Blaise to the-no: if I told you it wouldn’t be secret

Theo: you’d better sleep with one eye open fucker

Luna Lovegood has sent you a message request [view / ignore]

Luna Lovegood to Millicent Bulstrode: there’s a party at phi delta alpha on Saturday

Luna Lovegood: I thought you might want to come since you clearly have a massive crush on Ginny

Luna Lovegood: She’ll be there, in case that wasn’t obvious

Luna Lovegood – Add Friend / Message

Millicent to main group chat with everyone not secret cooler group chat: what are we all doing on Saturday

Millicent: rhetorical question we’re going to a party at pda

Draco: still the best fraternity name ever

Thursday, 14:12

Daphne to ditties (dynamo titties): anyone (millie) wanna go get coffee specifically at that place by the science building for no particular reason

Tracey: I’m down

Daphne: don’t remember inviting you but okay I guess

Millicent: how do you know she’s working today

Daphne: Penelope Clearwater from my business class is a manager there

Daphne: she showed me the rota

Millicent: on what grounds??

Millicent: Hey penny can I see the staff rota for the coffee shop you manage for vague and unspecified reasons

Daphne: pretty much yeah

Daphne: slytherin

Tracey to ditties (dynamo titties): okay what’s everyone want?

Tracey: millie ur ordering for everyone

Tracey: millie??

Daphne: I think shes literally lovestruck

Daphne: I want an oat milk latte w vanilla syrup

Daphne: oh look there’s potter we should go sit w him and his pals

Daphne: the sister of my friend’s best mate is my crush and all that

Tracey: as the spice girls so wisely said

Tracey: if you wanna be my love you gotta get with my friends

Daphne: zigazig ah

Tracey: pray be upstanding for the mighty spice girls

Millicent: fuck off im actually about to crap myself

Daphne to potter: oi potter who are your pals?

Harry to daphne g: daphne, fancy seeing you here

Daphne: we have ulterior motives

Harry: should I be worried?

Daphne: ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies

Daphne to ditties (dynamo titties): millie whats that on your cup??

Millie: ??? what do u mean

Tracey: there’s something drawn on your cup

Tracey: it looks kind of like a sun

Daphne: why does she look like shes about to pass out?

Luna Lovegood invited you to the event shindig / Saturday, 21:00

Going / Maybe / Can’t go

Saturday, 19:38

Millicent to skkkkrrrr: okay I need help of the wardrobe variety big time

Pansy: omw

Millicent: id rather not look like a bdsm stripper but thanks for the offer

Pansy: don’t speak to me or my 47000 pairs of similar but slightly varied fishnets ever again

Daphne: just wear like

Daphne: clothes

Millicent: thank fuck for that idea

Millicent: fuck u all theo will help me

Pansy: if you want to look like a stressed librarian be my guest

Millicent to main group chat with everyone not secret cooler group chat: everyone but pansy and daphne I need help with my outfit

Draco: fishnets not on the menu then?

Pansy: I resent the implication

Theo: how about a nice sweater?

Pansy: im not saying anything

Astoria: theo it’s a party not a meeting of grammar lovers worldwide

Blaise: you’re all hopeless I must truly do everything myself

Millicent renamed the group blaise + fake friends

Blaise: I approve this message

Saturday, 22:17

Millicent to blaise + fake friends: hey

Millicent: crazy idea

Millicent: what if we /didn’t/ go

Draco: we’re here so a little late to chicken out

Millicent: who’s gonna fucking stop me

Tracey: literally all six of us

Blaise: right who wants a drink?

Pansy: I want 5 please

Pansy: oh tori there’s ur boyfriend

Astoria: are u sure u know what a boyfriend is pans

Pansy: bite me greengrass miniature

Astoria: 🙄

Draco: if you’ll all excuse me I’m going to go get blackout drunk

Theo: who said you don’t have hobbies

Daphne: come on millie I’ll hold your hand whilst you pine over weasley from afar

Saturday, 23:45

Harry to daphne g: I have ur friend

Daphne to potter: is this a hostage situation?? Bc I don’t really want her back

Harry: she just did three shots of tequila then downed an unidentified drink george gave her

Daphne: definitely don’t want her back then

Harry: I think she’s gonna hurl

Daphne: oh don’t worry millie doesn’t vomit she just ruins her life through questionable decisions

Harry: ever thought that perhaps that is worse?

Daphne: but infinitely more entertaining

Harry: daph

Daphne: fine im coming

Daphne: where are you?

Harry: kitchen

Daphne to potter: where are you???

Harry to daphne g: she got away, im in pursuit

Daphne: what do you mean got away??

Harry: gave me the slip, did a runner, kicked me in the shin and took off running

Daphne: I hope it bruises

Daphne: youre a terrible babysitter

Daphne to weaslette recon: anyone seen millie?

Astoria: yea she’s with me

Daphne: is she plastered?

Astoria: she seems fine??

Astoria: we’re playing foosball w ron and ginny

Astoria: hmmm

Daphne: what??!!

Astoria: she just took her shirt off

Daphne: must’ve been slow acting

Sunday, 00:03

Draco to blaise + fake friends: are my eyes decieveing me or is millie making out w girl weasley w no top on in the middle of the living room

Blaise: unless this is a shared hallucination in which case I will be gracefully committing suicide tomorrow then yes

Tracey: dw im filming the whole thing

Daphne: maybe we should stop them before they fully have sex in front of everyone

Astoria: or millie suggests body shots

Millicent: BODDY SHPTS!!!

Astoria: oh shit

Sunday, 08:39

Daphne to millie before you ask yes you did take your top off and suck vodka out of weaslettes navel last night: not to be dramatic but I think an angry dragon has taken up residence in my head

Draco: if any of you are truly my friends you will bring me 7 mcdonalds hash browns and 5 advil

Draco: and a coffee

Pansy: already omw to mcdonalds

Pansy: anyone else want anything?

Blaise: you could see if they’ve got millie’s dignity laying around

Pansy: doubtful

Pansy: recon in draco’s room in 15

Pansy: those of you who are alive

Daphne to cilliment: [Attachment: 1 image]

Daphne: a hashbrown or 9 to wash away the shame

Millicent to dangly: I’m literally dropping out and going home

Daphne: you kicked harry in the shin

Millicent: he probably deserved it

Sunday, 08:55

Ron to tori 🌟: so my sister and ur mate have got further than we have

Astoria to ronnie🌸: I can’t think what you mean

Ron: what are you doing today?

Astoria: trying not to die

Astoria: trying to stop Millie from killing herself

Astoria: the usual

Ron: I don’t think you need to worry about that

Ron: [Attachment: 1 image]

Astoria: omfg!!!!!!!!

Astoria renamed the group ginny weasley loooooooves millie

Astoria to ginny weasley loooooooves millie: [Attachment: 1 image]

Astoria: @Millie

Blaise: omg

Draco: maybe weaslette has taste after all

Tracey: :’) it’s a proud day for all of us

Pansy: if you’d worn fishnets she’d have called you mind-blowingly fuckable instead of just hot

Pansy: just stating the facts

Ginny Weasley – Add Friend / Message

One notification [view / ignore]

Ginny Weasley accepted your friend request

Ginny Weasley to Millicent Bulstrode: so.. I know more of your bellybutton than I do of you

Ginny Weasley: but what I do know I like

Sunday, 09:27

Astoria to ronnie 🌸: so where are we going tomorrow?

Ron to tori 🌟: tomorrow?

Astoria: on our first date

Wednesday, 13:48

Ginny to birthgiver: about Saturday

Molly to Ginny: You’re not getting out of it this week. I haven’t seen you in almost 3 weeks now.

Ginny: actually I was going to ask if I could bring my girlfriend

#hp #hpfic #millicent bulstrode #ginny weasley #millicent x ginny #ginny x millicent #*fic #mine

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