#i am a Goblin and i was running around to find a place 2 live and i found a cool village and stopped for the night

[altfire]

i literally cant help but rp in any game im literally thinking abt the lore of my current. modded minecraft world w my friends. god

[alexissara]

Recruiting Minthara Without Doing A War Crime - BG3

Opening Disclaimer: I do not know every variable, I am sharing what I did to recruit Minthara in BG3 since basically every guide in the internet is wrong and says you must do a war crime to recruit MInthara. You will lose out on the Minthara post battle sex scene and she remains mutually exclusive with Halsin you either have her or him but she can be obtained as a party member and even has exclusive voiced dialogue for Karlache and Wyll whom many say you are also locked out of to recruit her. Also this is totally intentional and accounted for but in my personal run I am getting some bugs, idk if it's an everyone issue or a me issue the game is still very new.

To Attack The Grove or to Kill Everyone In The Goblin Camp, that is the question, one that needs not an answer. You can do quests in both places, talk to Minthara, and more and still walk away from this fight.

All you need to do is simply progress the plot ignoring these two binary options. You'll need to ensure Minthara does not know the location of The Druid Grove so for me the way I did it was I rescued Sazza then killed her in the goblin camp before she could rat out the location and turn on me right before she would have walked me over to MInthara. It triggered a small fight but I destroyed the drums they played to trigger an alarm and have everyone fight me meaning I only had to kill four Goblins or so. I went to talk to Minthara and told her I had no clue where the druid grove or her item were but i'd totally look into it. I grabbed everything I wanted from the Goblin camp and before that did all of the Tiefling kid side quests except stealing the artifact in The Druid grove, upgraded Karlache's infernal engines, looked around everywhere I could. I did not at any point meet or talk to Halsin.

Then from there I simply went to the Underdark, you may be be able to take the Gith path instead, idk I didn't do it but I personally went to The Underdark by way of Feather Falling in the Phase Spider Monarch's layer down into it. From there I found some slavers, killed them and stole their boat. I sailed away to a forge where more slavers were living, I helped them save a true soul, helped the true soul kill them and then killed The True Soul. With that I was on my marry way and entered act 2. This I believe triggers time to have progressed in the game and everything will have gone into motion. I wanted to be sure though that I had done everything correctly so I headed to Moon Rise towers as fast as I can. I did some fights, got to the tower and found Minathara getting yelled at by her boss and thrown into a prison. In the prison two women are trying to wipe her mind. I killed all the guards before trying to help her out in the prisons area and freed some other prisoners. Stole a bunch of stuff then went to the girl herself. I then killed the people trying to brainwash her after talking to them for a little, walked out with Minthara, the guards at multiple times were like "why the fuck do you have Minthara" I smooth talk my way out of each situation, we leave moonrise and I tell her she can stay in our camp. From there she is a party member.

The game suggests you don't bring Minthara back into Moonrise Towers with you, I have got some light glitches on my own run when going to areas that are before you can normally recruit minthara and going to camp sometimes she spawns over at The Goblin camp where you first meet her. The Goblins seem to be basically fine so what happened with the tiefling and druids. Well the tieflings were forced to leave the druid grove but they were gonna do that anyway and the same quests are triggered as if you didn't do that as far as I undertand. I have met one of the tieflings already in act two and they were not mad at me for not helping the grove. The grove however did do the ritual and is no longer accessible. I will update this when I enter Baulder's Gate if I find out I like idk caused the death of a bunch of characters for not siding with either but I don't think I cased any deaths at all, I think I spared the most lives, the most peaceful bitch.

I want to end of the note that there is more to Minthara than Girlboss, Gaslight, Gatekeep. She for narrative reasons is a fun character to have. She is cold for sure but I think the game does a pretty good job justifying it and you can see right away glimmers of her warming up. In terms of a party member her kit is interesting, she starts with tadepoles already in her head so if you were totally avoiding them like me you'll be able to see a few of the powers in action given you have no option to remove them from her.

[fanelectricboogieloo]

Lancebolt a Nomadic Dwarf fortress

ok currently in my DF50 Nomad (traveling through the world using dfhack to manipulate the fort site’s global min/max x/y coords) style experience I decided to send a bunch of Dwarves into the caverns to travel through them.

long effort post down below

uhh it ended up with the starting group getting mauled,

leaving them behind (taking the wagon and just literally leaving them behind) for a couple of human monster slayers and trekking it on the surface scooping visitors who wanted to explore the caverns,

traveled deep into the hilltop to start seeing the mounds (the dirt hole homes the dwarves live in) and decided to settle into testing if I could recruit the non-historical figure having citizens of the hilltop to my fort. Then uhh during the experiment to see if I could get more citizens I ended up gathering migrants and visitors from the treetops for a bit due to the original embark’s nanofort size and the trees growing lil to closely to the edge of the map causing visitors to show up in the tree branches.

while everything was a bit chill 3 invasions hit one of them being some necromancer showing up to reanimate some horse and dip.  the zombie horse mostly fended off the human invasion army of 2 people while the goblin one went in to ask for a parley which also ended with them murdering the goblin snatchers that came along after I accepted the parley which may have broken the process of giving them stuff. any way the experiment proved that hist figs are required for friendly units to even petition otherwise you just get a bunch of friendly faces that just stand there. the invasions depleted the population of 50+ back down to 12 which led to me slow marching the group out of the hilltop after causing so many bodies many being the citizens dying from the zombie horse assault... oh yeah during all that I ended up picking up an undead elf who shown up during the goblin siege, and I sent a werebeast goblin off to conquer some site which may or may not spark one of the invaders, the werebeast goblin had never return so it’s consider a boon. during the trek out of the hilltop I spotted a tunnel system and decided to go back to the cavern fort trek plan again with a bit more folks(the number jump up to 30) and a bit more wiser on building a bunker for the dwarves to live in so they don’t get jump while waiting for the map to shift to the next location.

art depicting what usually the small hole in the wall that stores a wagon.

the road arc of this session was interesting as I notice some interesting things on my travels like a burning pile of webs which led to learning that the roads intersect the gem cluster map events by paving a road through the gem cluster box and causing the game to activate the event on map load. I learn of this being the case when I spotted a demon in the middle of the road

this cavy humanoid made of coral fought and killed a giant bat and was really interested in the crammed pack of people behind a sealed door. so after some thinking I botched a plan to just dig away and just unload the map when the group double back and assault the cavy coral beast, the undead elf from earlier pop the cavy’s head off their body with a pickaxe. 

so after that event I was starting to feel like I should find the next settlement to probably end the run, and realize the tunnels like placing zigzag roads for going diagonal which mostly for my nomad setup means I’m burning seasons to make a right or left turn for 2 spaces. after a while of following the tunnel roads I got a sudden death by old age and it was one of my human civilians dying at uhh 87? with the remaining humans being around 44, 50ish and 61. this being a wake-up call to see how far I am on the world map I stop and pop open the embark menu and charted down the trek path I took.

so at this point I decided to just jump off the tunnels and just continue going west(still in the caverns) in hopes of finding a fort to hang out in.

during the off-road journey to the west I found a pack of ant people chilling, feeling hospitable I setup a mini tavern to rest and had the citizens entertain the group.

... I forgot about the caged vampire dwarf stored in the wagon... uhh so weird side-story I think the vampire dwarf got founded when I notice their name was different when I was trying to nickname them.

So Shem got persecuted by some religious baroness that pretty much been hated for their crusade which made me feel like Shem should get revenge... also only found out about Shem identity when they assisted in defending the fort during the invasion which is how I pinpointed which dwarf Shem was. So with a lil powers of dfhackery I summoned the baroness to the fort which I convict them to a crime they didn’t commit... as well as convicting Shem to a crime they confessed and had both of them lock up in cages, this was done during the hilltop arc and both of them were stored in the wagon ever since. the baroness later waste away from Dehydration while the vampire still alive just probably extremely thirsty. Any way this experience of playing somewhat vanilla dwarves... in an extremely entity modded world with Elephant-people having access to dragons and giant whales and other creatures.  Is pretty fun and has been scratching that adv mode itch I been getting since DF50 started with out it. though nomad style does give a refreshing different feel to DF that reminds me of the old advfort days. as eventful this fort is it also like the side fort to the one with a bunch of elephant people and a giraffe person.

[notquitecanon]

Do you do scenarios or headcanons? If so, how many characters can we request for scenarios or headcanons? Would you do the same prompt with different characters? Can we request for male reader, female reader, gender neutral reader, etc? Other than Astarion, are there any characters from Baldur's Gate 3 you would write? Are there any topics you won't do like rape, suicide, etc? Do you do poly ships x reader? Would you mind if we request for Alternate Universes or Aus like AU where the character lives happily? Would you mind if the request is suggestive, implied sex, or mentioned sex but no explicit sex? Would you do NSFW requests? For Baldur's Gate 3 requests, would you mind if we don't specify the race/class to leave it ambiguous or if we ask specify the race/class like human/healer? What kinks would you accept for requests? Thank you in advance!

Honestly, I’ve just never had those kind of requests on here. I also am very bad about answering requests bc my brain is a goblin with a pencil who is very picky about what sparks my interest enough to push past the usual fog of writers block. But funny enough I used to run a Star Wars fanfic blog so I do have answers to these questions:

1.) I’m not opposed to doing scenarios/ head canons! Sometimes doing them is what sparks a full fic or it’s just fun to slow down and enjoy imagining things!

As for how many, to prevent burn out I’ll probs stick to 2 or 3 characters at a time. If someone requests more than 3, I’d probs pick the 3 that I had the better ideas for / knew the characters better

2.) Requesting different gendered readers. Full transparency, I’m a cisgender woman.

I feel most knowledgeable writing feminine presenting characters, as I can use my own experiences! That being said, I do write things to be gender neutral and can do that on request. As for writing for a male reader, I’m open to trying! It’s not in my realm of experience nor have I done it before, but if I got the right request, I’d be happy to try! (I just don’t want to not write to my usual standards and I especially don’t want to offend anyone because of my lack of knowledge!)

3.) I’ll write for any of the romanceable characters, except Minthara (haven’t been able to recruit her yet so I don’t know her)

I’m more likely to write for characters that I’m most attracted to such as Astarion, Halsin, Karlach, Gale, and Lae’zel.

4.) I won’t write graphic depictions of rape or suicidal. I will use mentions of trauma / mental health struggles in my writing, and I always mention them in my TW section. Not so much a problem in this phantom, but I also don’t write incest. Or inappropriate age gaps.

5.) I have never written a polyamorous relationship, but I’d be open to trying with the right prompt/request. I have a lot of love to go around, so I think I can do this.

6.)  when it comes to AU’s I mostly try to keep it in universe, and I will do what I call fix it fics. That way if the work I am trying to do takes place after the end of game, I can still have all my little guys because I refuse to believe that there’s not a happy ending for everybody. And if there isn’t one, I will create one. But I don’t really do coffee shop they use or flower shop use or anything that takes them out of the world that they are in.

7.) at the moment, I don’t write outright smut. It’s not because I don’t want to or can’t, I just don’t think I’m very good at it. I will use mentions of sex, heavy-handed, make out sessions, and honestly pretty much everything right up until the point of actual sex. So you request smut, but I might not be as quick to answer those others. Personally, I find the tension leading up to this smut the fun part to write and read.

8.) as for race/class of BG3 readers, I will try to keep it, usually fairly and ambiguous. Though, how I have written everything that I have written, even though I’ve only posted one thing, I, based all of my writing off how I played the game personally. So, if you have something specific in mind, you’ll have to specify in the request, or I will default to what I usually do. (Reference I love playing Rangers. They are my favorite, so I have knowledge of nature, survival and some medicinal skills) 

9.) as for kinks, I accept, I will accept anything in the ask box, even if I don’t write it. no kink shaming here as long as the kinks don’t fall under any of the things that I don’t write, which are listed in the above points

Thank you for asking, and being so respectful about my writing! I really appreciate it and hope that you request something :) 

Disclaimer, I hope everything that is written in this makes sense, I’m using voice to text as I do something else.

[plethomacademia]

Uhhh can I get 🔴, 🔮, and ⚽️ for Maeve?

Answering this meme while I pretend I am writing. Pre-emptively throwing in a jump because there's three and we know how this will go.

🔴 Red- What is a trait your OC has that those around them don't see very often? Is it seen by a rare few or completely overlooked?

Boring trope, but she is very insecure in relationships, especially when it comes to being loved/liked for who she is, not what she is. And she is terrified of asking for it.

Her cult loves her as the flesh of their god. This is her nightmare scenario.

I think Enver sees this insecurity on occasion. I am still deciding what he does about it but it's coming up soon! When she was insecure about her place in the alliance, he told her to stop pouting, so I expect it will go well! But I know deep down she never tells him she loves him because she expects to be rejected, that's why just saying he's her friend is scary enough.

Jaheira sees right through her bullshit for sure. Immediately. The second she joins the camp she pegs Maeve for the giant softy she is.

Astarion sees it only through sheer exposure to her. The night before they go to fight Orin when she thinks she's going to die to Bhaal is the only time she's open about it. That's why I'm going to write that scene one day because it's angstyyyy.

I think most of the party figures it out, she's a lot like Astarion after all and they see right through him. I could see Karlach missing it, only because they butt heads in act 3 so much and I think Karlach suffers from black and white thinking to a degree. She probably sees that brave front Maeve projects and takes it at face value only because Maeve truly is very blunt with Karlach and once Karlach finds out she worked with Gortash, I expect that colored her perspective on Maeve quite a lot.

🔮 Crystal Ball- What kind of future does your OC want to have? What would they do to make it real?

In the short term, she desperately wants to be a traveling story teller. I think she would love finding some kind of traveling circus gig and just being a side act. Like those people at renn fairs that heckle people when they walk by. She just wants to have small moments of human connection and make enough gold to live on.

She doesn't know it in game, obviously, but she did truly love running her cult when it came to the performance aspect. She was created to be convince people to kill, after all. She just wants to not run things for a while. She has been a leader her entire life.

To make it happen, I head canon that she and Astarion do the canon "travel the world" ending but she starts picking up small gigs to get started. Astarion thought it would be all cool stealing and being little goblins, but now he's partnered up with an aspiring Volo. He's a little shit about it.

Even longer term, there's that bard you can talk to that owns the music shop in Baldur's Gate and I think she would love to do something like that when she's ready to pick a city. Just work somewhere she can talk music all day, then play some random shows as she wants.

High elves live so long and she is still really young. Maybe she'll want more, but just getting to exist and experience the world on her own terms, share joy through story and song, that's the dream.

⚽️ Soccer Ball- Who is someone that your OC believes in and roots for? Are they private about their admiration or do they make it well known?

She rooted for Gort so hard she got stabbed in the head. She thought she was being slick about it, but when you aren't allowed to socialiize, well.

For in game, the obvious one is Astarion. Their relationship starts out very shallow but she ends up so impressed by how he sees a problem and just sets to solving it, even though he's usually out of his league. Even his act 2 "hey uh i think i'm falling for you whoops" episode, she thinks he is so brave for just saying that? She would have dumped him if she were in his shoes. That said, she would rather eat rocks than compliment that man to his face.

The real answer is Shadowheart. Maeve thinks Shadowheart is amazing. She talks about how Shadowheart is amazing. She thinks she is so strong, so resilient, so brave, so beautiful. Shadowheart also stood up to a god and she just did the thing. If the game let us do third act romances, Maeve would romance Shadowheart, but act one Maeve does not think she deserves Shadowheart (she deserves no one but she'll play with the fuckboy elf lol). But Maeve is a Shadowheart #1 fan very quickly and EVERYONE hears about it. In the end, Shadowheart is her first real friend.

[the-good-neighbors]

2022 Art summary (poetry edition)

1: Little Witch “Little witch”,  the one with the calico cat How is it that everyone calls you that?

It’s you they say, are funny Although you’re sweet as honey

Dead, least week, you found the garden hare But still you chase him, like he was there

To the cemetery, you bring a meal for two How strange, but the others don’t see like you do

And to you the desperate people come To talk to passed loved ones, for a sum

Little witch, with hair that’s red You seem not to mind that your friends are all dead

2: Fables Around in circles, the mushrooms do grow And with them spread fables, you know Of Folk, who cannot be trusted Of changelings, of elves, goblins, and witches

And if you were to leave a gift in their home Out in the forest where they roam To you, what might be entrusted A chance to own, unmeasured riches 

3: To Someone Sweet Hushed, silent, fantasies and dreams Are all my heart seems to know Pushes and pulls and stresses my seams And if I were to share them my happiness would surely grow

Out of place I feel in your kaleidoscope I am a moth while you fly with painted wings And I beg my heart not to fall down this slope My fair princess, you are rich with many things

If you should, for just one moment brief, pay me mind My heart would shout and I would dance at your feet I’m much more than silence, you’ll find Even so, I have more than the soft verse, neat But silent dreams and silent fantasies remain silent While I, the last withered rose, am left to pine

To someone sweet To someone kind To someone charming To someone like you My sweet Mavourneen

4: On music

 What is music but the painting that fills the air and space around our heads

Flowing seamlessly through countless lives

 all yield to song

Chests rising and falling to her rhythm as each breathes their note

And in the cage of their bodies

a shard of life’s sweet melody, beats steadily as it is the pulse in their heart

Music, she affects us all 

for, when two fall in love, they share the same time

5: The Apothecary’s son

Young man, the apothecary’s son

What to do when my work is all done

Who you are is still a mystery to me

And yet it’s you who they believe me to be

Perhaps I should’ve been around you longer 

So my impression of you would be stronger

But then there’s the mistake that I did not

Your name, your actions I have wrought

Bended and twisted to suit my need

The differences, for better, none will heed

So little boy, who’s place I took

Not even your family made a second look

6: Pasture Winds

Tell me how gently the wind blows through here

Washing through when the skies are clear

Softly shaking every bow of the trees

Singing with the voices of the grass and the reeds

And there it kissed your face with a soft breeze 

When through the pasture it speeds

Running and laughing as to tease

Under its touch, all life comes to ease

[feral-witch-hat]

Gremlin AU. Octogoblin!

Little mini headcanons about a gremlin for Octogoblin! I may expand on this in an actual fic, but I currently am working on two fics at the moment, (I'm on Archive of our own) and I want to finish one before i start another fic.

My username on AO3 is LibraThyWriter.

Anyway, let's get into the headcanons/mini fic!

Takes place in the Raimi Verse after No Way Home. 20 years into the future like other fics.

Otto and Norman are already together.

Otto goes out with Peter at night to help fight crime, leaving Norman alone most nights.

Its fine for a while, Norman happy with Otto doing good in the world and fighting with Spidey.

But after about 2 months, his feelings start to change.

As he smiles and waves to Otto goodbye, he can't help but feel a tugging and empty feeling in his chest.

He feels useless.

He hides this from Otto for a bit, but bottling up the feelings is a bit overwhelming.

After Norman says bye to Otto as he leaves, a forced smile on his face as he fights off a frown. He goes to lie down, a depression about him from the useless feeling. Wishing there was a way to go help Otto and Peter.

He then gets an idea.

He runs into his lair, which has since been cleared of all the weaponry and glider, and looks around if the *thing* is still there.

It is.

It's a beta version of the Goblin Formula, something that Goblin had grabbed the first night he appeared as well as the other final versions of the formula.

The beta version is like a semi clean slate, maybe he can edit it and making it so it only improves strength without the side effects! He's not a scientist for nothing after all!

He grabes the Beta Formula and gets to work.

Over the next couple weeks, as Otto goes out with Peter, after the goodbyes and goodnights are said, Norman jumps up and gets to work on the Formula.

He uses trial and error to find out and narrow down what chemicals to use and take out to ensure there's no unwanted visitors with the new Formula.

Otto notices how tired Norman is in the mornings and ask if somethings wrong.

Norman claims he's just had some nightmares and Otto then promises that he and Norman will have a night in soon.

This brightens Norman, but there's a touch of disappointment afterwards because he knows afterwards that the nightly going outs will come back and the uselessness will come back.

This fuels Norman's determination to continue working on the Beta Formula.

Work continues.

Otto starts to suspect that Norman's up to something, but doesn't call him out on the account of wanting concrete evidence that Norman's doing something.

A month goes by, and the formula is pretty much complete in Norman's opinion.

He's taken out all the possible mind altering chemicals that could cause the Goblins return, and replaced them with alternate chemicals.

It hasn't been fully tested, but Norman's patience in himself is growing thin while the while the useless and empty feeling is growing stronger, egar to help his honey.

After its done mixing, he eagerly grabs it and holds it up.

Unlike the original Goblin formula, this one is a more light green than dark green.

He's about to down it, but then gets second thoughts.

what if it goes wrong again, what if the Goblin comes back?

But then, other thoughts enter Norman's head.

What if Peter and Otto get really hurt or worse and no ones there to help them, what if Norman has to live the rest of his life not only burdened with the death of his son, but his husband and other son as well?

The second round of thoughts make his decision and without any more hesitation...

Norman downs it.

To be continued in Part 2!!!!

[nyeddleblog]

Unsteady.

Pairing: Andrew! Peter Parker x Fem!Reader. Warnings: some swearing, angst, mentions of death, short. Summary: He really thought he lost you, but now he had a second chance. Request: 1. heyyy! i was wondering if you could write an imagine on andrews peter parker in nwh. so basically ned and mj are doing the whole portal sequence where they're trying to find tom's peter, so they accidentally bring andrew. before that they try to find y/n they find her, only she's from andrews au. then andrew comes along and they start crying, hugging, kissing etc bc y/n dies in andrews world. it's such a sad yet cute idea to me :) (they're dating before y/n dies in his world) 2. hello it could be a request from andrew peter where the reader returns, despite being dead, as otto and goblin. and all angst and happy. because I read that emma stone was going to appear but due to the covid she couldn't. 3. i was just wondering if you could write fluff imagine with andrew!peter parker x reader who was his girlfriend in another universe but they broke up and then she died (not necessarily for the same reason as gwen, you can come up with something new) and when he meets her it feels like it all they had never passed? just fluff, but you can make second part with smut thx <3 4. i found out your requests are open and i am so happy! can i pretty please request fic? Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield) x Fem!reader?What about this one. Y/N runs to save child but she hurts herself. After she returns the child to the parents, she falls away and Peter tries to save her.... Thank you very much!

It was difficult for Peter to get over the fact that you weren't coming back. He still had the memory of your eyes fading, as the color in your skin slowly went away; your soft hair sprawled all over the pavement and your clothes dying of a dark red.

He couldn't save you; he didn't even realize he should have been there to save you. It was supposed to be a harmless date; a last date before he finally proposed.

He had everything planned, the ring was in his pocket, and he was taking you to this empty coffee shop that for some reason you loved.

He would spoil you all day until you came back home, he would take you to the prettiest places, make you spend the most magical moments, have you wondering all day when he was going to do it because he knew you knew this was the day.

And then, as you hung your keys and your coat, he would kneel behind you and surprise you.

But things didn't go as planned. Maybe it was the universe telling him that he just didn't deserve you...

You just... You wanted some ice cream. And who was he to say no to you, right?

And you waited for him sitting in that bench where you guys had your first kiss, and he ran to the ice cream shop. And he patiently waited for the guy to scoop your ice cream...

And then he turned around, because the look on this guys' eyes... He would never forget.

It had been so silent.

A girl was crying, held desperately by her mother. And your body laid there, trying your best to not close your eyes.

Maybe if the car hadn't left. Maybe if you had accompanied him to get the ice cream...

Maybe if you just hadn't gone out that day.

But you did. You did and now you were gone.

Peter blamed himself even if it wasn't his fault. He blamed himself because he wouldn't be able to live with himself either way.

So when he saw you again, it was like he finally got some air after being underwater for four years.

You were there, confused, and dressed up in the same sundress you had left him with. And when you saw him, any sign of fear left your face.

Peter almost fell to his knees.

"You... You know each other?" Ned asked.

Before you could say anything, Peter stumbled his way to you and pulled you into his arms.

"I guess that's a yes..."

Your soft hands traveled to his hair, caressing it in the way only you did. The smell of your perfume was sprawled all over his suit, it made you wonder what happened.

He looked a bit older, a bit more thin, but overall, it was your Peter.

"I missed you so much" he cried. You frowned immediately "Please don't leave me again, please."

"I would never leave you" you said, clueless.

He cried harder, because he knew it was a lie.

Oh, how easy would it be to just think that you chose to leave him.

Your eyes went all over his trembling body. He was on his suit, his hair longer, his beard sloppily shaved, a chain with a ring hanging from his neck...

"Did I..." You were scared, your eyes trying desperately to find his, but he just wouldn't pull away "Did I die, Peter?"

He shivered at the word, his head on your neck. You didn't need any other answer than that, and you hugged him harder.

It wasn't an easy task, but the expectant teenagers needed to find a way to save you. And if they could save the villains, they would definitely find a way to get you back with Peter.

TAGLIST: @itssvphia @swaggysposts @allisonxmcu @elarasstardust @lartdestrouvailles @crying-is-your-latest-fashion @mrsbarnes107th @pastel-painted-sunrise @allisonxmcu @endlesssummerfun @glytchfic @apoloslut @ceyoongs @yunho-leeknow @starfirette @justbookworm

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (March 31/2021) - George Lore

George sleeps.

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VOD LINKS:

Foolish

Quackity

George

Ranboo

Captain Puffy

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TW: Derealization

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- George talks to his conscience, as voiced by Quackity.

Georgre Lore Part 2

- George has been thinking about the past. He’s had things happening that no one knows about, and he wants to talk about it.

- Quackity turns back into George’s conscience. George introduces his conscience to Lore Man (voiced by Wilbur). Lore Man tells George’s conscience that George beat him on the field of battle. He cannot sheathe his sword until George has been defeated.

- Lore Man asks if George ended up winning the vice presidency. George tells the conscience that he was supposed to be running for president.

- He was taking a stroll when Lore Man jumped out at George, but George was prepared and beat him fair and square. George, though he won, was terribly wounded, and he had to rest. The sword has an enchantment on it to make people sleep.

- George experienced an unexplainable lapse of time. He woke up and everything was gone, everyone was mad at him. There was a scar on his arm, dried blood, and he was confused. 

- George harvests the day’s harvest.

- George asks why he’s doing all this work, putting in his blood, sweat and tears for people who care not. He goes to explore a nearby ravine.

Georgre Lore Part 3 George’s SEcret marrieg 

how did he become divorce

It’s Possibleer

- They visit Fundy’s Pet War arena: the ancient battle ground, Lore Man’s “scuffle pad.” Ranboo arrives and asks if there is a scuffle going on here.

- Lore Man gives George a scuffle rock and tells him to meet in the middle of the scuffle pad. They will do ten paces. 

- They take ten paces and scuffle. George begs Lore Man to spare him. Lore Man says farewell and leaves with George’s lore and also his dignity.

Georgre Lore Part 4

why georg not h ave lore

THe trip to Lmanb

- George visits the crater that is L’manburg. He could have had an excellent presidency. George’s conscience tells him to think about all the terrible memories this place holds. He leads George to the bomb room and tells George to think of a life where he owned L’manburg.

- They visit the shrine where Friend is. The thunder booms, and a voice from the sky calls out to George: Mexican Dream himself. He has a story to tell. If George had become vice president, Mexican Dream would never have existed. He owes George his existence, and wants to repay him.

- MD tells George that the issue is, he wants to repay George but he’s dead. He tells George that this is all a figment of his imagination. He’s dreaming, getting information through his sleep. MD is reaching out to George through his conscience.

- Lore Man comes back to ask when MD is giving George sloppy.

Lore Man: “What’s left of you, Georgenotfound? You are a husk of what you were.”

Georgre Lore Part 5

geirge visits his Old home

- George visits his house (now a catmaid cafe). He goes inside and finds Badboyhalo crouching in a hole in the floor

- Lore Man breaks through the window and tells George that he should be happy he isn’t asleep, because every sleep brings him closer to his demise, and he will make sure George sleeps through everything ever again. George asks if Lore Man gave him a sleeping curse. 

- Lore Man tells George to make the most of his cat house, because soon he will be sleeping in it forever. Outside, George finds a massive bed by his home. His conscience tells him that he must go to sleep within his dream.

- Lore Man tells him he has a revelation to reveal to George before he goes to sleep...he knows who George’s parents are, canonically, and also his surname:

Lore.

George Lore.

Georgre Lore Part 5 6

GEORGE SEES A NEW GUY

- George’s conscience tells him that though this is not real, it is a manifestation of something George feels guilty about.

- George sees a little kid crying at the edge of the lake. It’s Quackity. He’s crying because today, he lost the elections because George slept in.

- A new character appears. It is Lore Woman! She presents a cornflower to George. Lore Man hands Lore Woman a scuffle rock. Ranboo takes off his crown and becomes the Scuffle Man: overseer of the scuffle.

- Quackity shouts that he will fight alongside George. Even though George has disappointed him, he will fight with George to defeat the Lores. 

GEORGERO LORE Part 8

THE FORMER CANDIDATES FIGHT TOGETHER AGAINST LOREMAN AND LOREWOMAN

- The two pairs stand at the scuffle grounds. George speaks to Badboyhalo, the floor goblin, for words of wisdom.

- Lore Man and Lore Woman are standing on bales of hay. Lore Man asks George to remember the wheat he harvested as a young boy.

- Lore Man tells Scuffle Man to begin. Quackity asks George if he has any last words. George places down the cornflower on the battlefield. It is time.

Scuffle Man: “Ten paces SCUFFLE!”

- The scuffle begins. Quackity’s legs are broken. They continue fighting. The Scuffle Man stops the scuffle. Something has gone wrong: Lore Woman has been shot in the head! She rebrands to Lore Lady.

- Quackity tells them that it must end with George and Lore Man in one final scuffle. Lore Man says he wants to use the weapon meant for George: the enchanted sleep sword. George responds that he shall plunge the scuffle rock into Lore Man’s chest.

- Lore Man tells George that they have known each other for many, many years. But he deserves to know the truth: he deserves to know his father.

Lore Man: “I am your father, Georgenotfound.”

- Lore Man and Lore Lady intended to create George to be the king of lore. But here he is, having slept through everything. Lore Man tells George that he wants George to make his first bit of lore. He says to take his sword -- named “Lore” -- and that he has only one canon life left.

- Lore Lady protests, but Lore Man insists that George must make his lore. George must make a widow of Lore Lady.

- Lore Man bows his head. He tells the floor goblin to take good care of his wife, and says to Lore Lady that he wishes for her to marry this man. George tells Lore Man to place his head upon the hay.

Lore Man: “Make me proud, son.”

George: “Farewell, Lore Man.”

- George decapitates his father.

GEORGE LORE.

LAST PART

WAKING UP.

- His conscience wakes George from a bed at Spawn. George discovers he has the Lore sword. George marches down the path into the distance.

- George’s stream starts off with a distorted version of C148′s Minecraft.

- George has no items. He speaks to Niki and Bad. Bad is confused when George mentions the floor goblin. Was it all just a dream?

- George turns around to see Mexican Dream. Mexican Dream tells George the story of how he visited Tommy and Dream killed him. He came back to see Mexican L’manburg. He found a way to come down here.

- George and MD reach the place where Mexican L’manburg used to be. They’re confused. Where is it? 

- Mexican Dream shouts at George -- where is Mexican L’manburg? George insists he thought it was there. Bad says George destroyed it while sleep-mining, or at least someone who looked like George.

- George asks, what if it was Bad? Niki vouches for Bad, she doesn’t think it was him. Mexican Dream is heartbroken. He doesn’t have much time down here. The timer already went off. He doesn’t know how long he has left.

- Bad says the person looked like Quackity, but with different clothes. Mexican Dream doesn’t know who Quackity is. George does, but he doesn’t know where Quackity  lives.

- Mexican Dream sees L’manhole. He’s shocked, but MD doesn’t care. He made Mexican L’manburg because he hated L’manburg. He was going to do it eventually himself anyways.

- They go to Quackity’s old house underneath Karl’s. MD tells them to leave the room while he inspects.

- George wonders why he smells smoke. They run back in to see MD lighting Quackity’s room ablaze. MD tells George to find out where Quackity is, or else. He then disappears.

- Badboyhalo says this might be a good thing, actually. Quackity has been rebelling against the Egg for so long, he had this coming. Niki is upset. She vouched for Bad, and now he’s happy that Quackity’s house is gone?

- They ask if Bad was trying to frame Quackity. Bad says that he can tell Quackity that this is what happens when you double-cross the Egg. 

George: “The Egg has actually messed you up. Can you even hear what you’re saying?!”

- Bad says they’re both coming with him. They’ll take a little trip to see the Egg. George asks why he’s acting like this. Niki whispers to George that maybe this is good, maybe they can find out what’s going on.

- Bad tells George that, anything he could possibly want, the Egg can give it to him. If Quackity asks what happened to his house, they have to lie to him and say that the Egg did it.

- DreamXD joins the game and greets them. They explain what’s going on.

- DreamXD tells George that he heard that yesterday, George made a deal with the devil and lost, so he kills Badboyhalo. The world is at balance now.

- He tells George that the stuff is his now, but George hesitates, wondering if it’s infected. Bad grabs the stuff back before George can take it.

- DreamXD returns to George, telling him that he gave him a chance at full Netherite. George asks for another chance, but DreamXD refuses. When George insists, DreamXD’s voice distorts.

George: “What happened to your voice?”

DreamXD: “You try and abuse my kindness -- I save you?! I save you, I give you full Netherite, you throw it away then you ask me for MORE!”

George: “I thought it was -- I thought it was fine?”

DreamXD: “Oh, it’s so fine, it’s fine -- everything’s fine! It’s all just a game to you, George!”

George: “I don’t know if I like this, DreamXD.”

DreamXD: (normal) “Oh, ok.”

- Niki asks if he’s sure he’s awake right now. George gets annoyed at Enderman sounds everywhere. He asks why DreamXD is acting like this.

- DreamXD says he doesn’t come here very often. George points out that he comes here a lot when George is here. DreamXD explains that George invited him. DreamXD doesn’t want to scare George. It just comes out sometimes.

Dream: “George, it’s me, Dream!”

George: “Dream? ...Dream?”

DreamXD: “Hm...he’s gone.”

- George says he would rather be with Bad and the Egg at this point. DreamXD starts to chase him.

George: “Dream?”

DreamXD: “Who’s Dream?”

- DreamXD laughs and says he’s not going to hurt George.

- George asks what DreamXD wants. DreamXD says he simply wants George’s acceptance. He wants to be George’s friend. 

George: “I can’t even hit you. What’s wrong with you? And now you’re flying.”

DreamXD: “I’m god.”

- George tells DreamXD to prove it by giving him the best armor in the world.

DreamXD: “You really try and abuse me again.”

George: “No, we’re friends, we’re friends! This is what friends do, they give each other gifts.”

DreamXD: “All friends beg each other for stuff?! Apologize!”

- George apologizes. DreamXD forgives him. 

DreamXD: “I mean, at least you don’t try and like, hunt me or something.”

...

George: “Dream. How do we just go back to normal?”

DreamXD: “What do you mean?”

George: “How do we fix this? You’re being --”

DreamXD: “I’m not Dream...I’m not Dream. Sort of. I’m a part of him.”

George: “You look like Dream.”

- DreamXD gives George some diamonds. George asks what to make.

DreamXD: “Whatever your heart desires.”

- George gets a holy spoon. They see Badboyhalo approach. DreamXD shouts at him and scares Bad off.

- They do it again, George aiming to troll Bad. But DreamXD gets a bit morbid. George says he doesn’t think DreamXD should have done that, but DreamXD thought it was a fun prank.

- They go over to Karl’s Harry Potter home and descend into the wedding chapel. DreamXD doesn’t understand what he’s doing wrong.

- George gets frustrated by the Endermen sounds again. DreamXD wants to learn. He doesn’t know when things are too far because he isn’t like George.

- George then teaches DreamXD to apologize to Bad, then suggests they prank Niki. Instead, DreamXD scares her away too.

- They pull a harmless prank on Niki in Church Prime, but Niki didn’t find it very funny.  DreamXD asks if Niki would like to see a magic trick. He makes her “disappear” by killing her. DreamXD brings her back. He says he sent her to Hell and brought her back into the church. 

- Niki tells George good luck with him and then runs away. George says he’s done. 

DreamXD: “Why are you giving up on me?”

George: “You’re scaring me.”

DreamXD: “I don’t wanna--”

George: “I just want to go back and eat my food like I used to, you know, back to the old times, farming my food, all in peace, where I don’t have to worry about you killing people, being weird...”

DreamXD: “But you’re giving up on me!”

George: “It just doesn’t look like you’re making an effort. I don’t know. I’m sorry, but...it looks bad on me, you know?”

DreamXD: “Well...well I’m sorry...”

- DreamXD says George can teach him. He makes a pun about axes. He’s learning!

- DreamXD asks for forgiveness. George asks what’s in it for him.

DreamXD: “I can give you your heart’s desires.”

- He doesn’t know what’s in it for George, but asks for George to just forgive him. George says that he’ll forgive DreamXD and give him a chance only if he gives George Netherite armor and tools.

DreamXD: “We can be powerful together! You can teach me, and I can teach you! I can teach you so many things!”

- George says he’ll be his friend if DreamXD gives the things to him. DreamXD insists on forever. George has to promise.

George agrees. Forever. DreamXD says if he’s lying, he will tear George limb from limb. They will be the best of friends!

- DreamXD gives George the Netherite. DreamXD puts on his Ender Dragon head. They will remember this moment. They take a celebratory picture.

- George posts it on Twitter. (DreamXD doesn’t like Twitter because they cancel him for murder)

- DreamXD says he will see George another time and disappears.

- George goes off on his own, wondering why he keeps hearing Endermen where there aren’t any.

- A sentient anthropmorphic cow version of Quackity visits George in the spider spawner and shows him a dog in the floor named Pluto, then starts talking to George about Yeezys

- George notices the cow is holding a...scuffle rock? Cow Quackity says goodbye and George wakes up in his bed at Spawn again.

He has everything DreamXD gave him.

[caffeinatedrogue]

some rock band shit for my writer pals

Here’s Another Post Nobody Asked For, Really! well, except @saintsofvoid and @butwhatisit (thanks for enabling me)

But I know my writer pals, you all want to get shit right, and maybe you want to write the cute local rock band au of your dreams or early Samurai days Silverdyne fics (hello CP77 fandom)

 I’ve spent literally half of my life being around different varieties of the goblins commonly known as rock musicians so I figured I’d compile some fun things I’ve gathered from my experiences as an enthusiast observer and also my partner’s tales - who is one of those goblins. This applies mostly to small to mid to ‘big in the indie scene but not mainstream’ tier bands, not the big names. (Wish I could hang out with the rolling stones even if they’re geezers now, but eh) anyways, under the cut, it’s very long

Touring is fun, especially the short and sweet ones, but also extremely stressful and can feel like a chore. The gigs themselves are a blast, but unless you're a celeb the rest of the time involves endless driving between locations that are hundred of kms away, because the booking agency will work towards cramming up your schedule as much as possible. It's often spending entire weeks/months on the road, it's washing the same 2 sets of sweaty stage clothes in hotel rooms sinks and being sleep-deprived and hungover constantly. Touring is when personalities clash and tensions will arise and explode between band members. Good angst potential here pals.

 Backstage demands lists are a thing at every professional level, not just Big Names, and they're often hilarious. They range from food to weed to ????. And I'm not talking about insufferably-extra celebs that want wild, unrealistic shit, just the random guy from an indie band that kindly asks to find water and also, idk, an uncut tuft of lettuce for unknown purposes better left to the imagination.

 Musicians have to show up hours earlier to the gig location, because they have to put all their gear together, cable up, and do the soundcheck - which is VITAL, as every place sounds different because of architcture and the individual sound systems -  and if there's something every musician is gonna be a big fucking bitch about, it's how they're sounding. Then there's the chill hours between that and the actual gig, dinner and drinks and chats, and it usually ends up with at least one in the band getting prematurely shitfaced (but usually still able to play perfectly because musicians know their limits, and also know the others will absolutely 100% kill them if they mess up the performance). After the gig you get wrecked but also make sure 1. that your stuff is safe in the van first and foremost 2. that you get paid

There's one very important thing to do before playing and it's putting down or at least agreeing on a tracklist to follow on stage - if you’re opening for another band, you have time constraints and you must adapt. Also, everybody on stage has to know what song comes next to keep the flow. But it can end up very much like herding kittens, cause one is drunk, the other can't be found, and then there's The One Actual Saint holding a marker and a piece of paper, screaming into the void and trying to make the rest sit down for a minute and agree on it. (If you’re in the cp77 fandom yes, that would absolutely be Kerry.)

Unless you are touring BIG and have a service and/or a dedicated driver, you regularly use and abuse some friend to drive you around and help you load and unload the gear that is packed like 3d Tetris in the cars or van. Guitarists and bassists alone will NOT play without their own, personal, precious, beloved amps and those beauties are big. If the drummer is carrying his whole personal set, well... good luck. Also bands who share a stage often lend stuff to each other because maybe you busted a cable the night before. If you steal or break borrowed stuff, you’re forever in the band’s shit list

The Merch Guy is usually the same person as The Driver or The Friend Driver or someone you can equally Fully Trust with the shit. (Unless you're a top-tier band with staff and all that jazz). That's a HIGH TRUST JOB people. Because merch sales account for a good chunk of the money you make in a night if you’re an indie band. They're handling the band's income, quite literally.

Musicians will talk a shitload about music in general but also... GEAR. Guitars. Effect pedals. Amps. (Bonus if they're made by some random ass guy who idk, lives in a shed in Montana with 15 cats). Or That One Guitar Sound From This 1993 Album And How to Get It. It's not very romantic, just nerds going off for hours about very specific items of music-making electronics.

Rehearsal rooms: now, creative processes vary, but most of the bands I know don't really do the composition part in there. Maybe you're unwinding and just jamming and something nice comes out of it, so you decide to keep it to work on it further. It's mostly because renting out a rehearsal room costs money and most musicians might maybe make a living out of it, but aren’t exactly rich. So either a. you're really rich or you’ve made it big - then gtfo to your jacuzzi b. someone in the band has a space that can be turned into one (it takes a bit of work to make it soundproof otherwise it's Reverbtown) and well, they all live there now! c. The lead composers will meet and do their thing together to brainstorm ideas/jam and put down the groundwork for the songs. Often people have lil home studios to compose and do some basic recording.  But then everybody does their homework separately (both writing and polishing their own specific insutrumental lines and sheer practice).Then the tracks are rehearsed together and tweaked. Before tours or recording the sessions are very long and intensive because you have to make sure everything is pitch-perfect and sounds just as it should.

Recording and mastering an album is hella expensive and that’s why being under contract is great, because the label will pay that for you amongst other things (like PR and booking agents). But it’s not the Beatles chilling at Abbey Road, more like several people spending entire days in the recording studio working like crazy both recording instruments and listening to the recordings obsessively, because you have to get everything right in those few days the studio’s paid for before you send it out for the sound master. The recording process and master is what makes an album sound a certain way and it’s a craft of its own, choosing the right people for the job is extremely important in rock productions. Again, they’re nerds.

 Songwriter life be like:  running in the room while singing a melody out VERY LOUDLY on repeat, while frantically looking for the instrument and any recording device or they'll forget. Replaying a bit of music over and over and overrrrrrr to figure out the harmonies. Asking your partner/friend to harmonize even if they can't sing because gotta hear if it sounds good.  'Hey how does the track sound? You sure it's not a bit too much like *insert obscure experimental band name* ?' - 'I have never heard of them but I'm sure it doesn't'. Texts at 2 am arguing over something music something that doesn’t sound quite right in the tracks. Go off my beauties

[rallamajoop]

...and the unironic joys of better living through chemistry

How do I love Venom: The Hunger, let me count the ways…

It’s by far the shippiest Venom/Eddie story to come out of the character’s heyday. It’s the only story of the era to treat Venom’s violent wild-animal instincts not as an immutable fact, but as something that can be managed. It pulls off an aesthetic like nothing else that was being done at the time.

And then there’s the way it says, Does the world around you seem sinister and foreboding? Do you lie awake at night contemplating metaphorical oceans of despair? Well shit, son – have you considered you may be suffering from a mundane neurochemical imbalance, and a round of the right meds could clear that right up for you?

It does all this without breaking the atmosphere, without a whiff that our story has been interrupted for a Very Special Message about mental health.

In the near-decade since I was first prescribed anti-depressants, I don’t think I’ve read another story that lands the message “Sometimes, it’s not you, it’s just your brain chemistry,” so well.

Fair warning: if you have not read The Hunger, I am about to spoil every major plot point. If you have, well, maybe I can still give you a new appreciation for a few details you might have missed.

It’s a strange book, whatever else you take from it. It’s almost the only thing either author or artist contributed to the Venom canon, and it’s so different stylistically and tonally from the 90′s Venom norm that it feels like a tale from some noir-elseworlds setting instead of 616 canon. When you take risks that big with a property, you leave yourself precious little landing space between 'unmitigated triumph’ and ‘abject failure’: if this book hadn’t absolutely nailed it, I’d be dismissing it as edgy, OOC dreck. Fortunately, if The Hunger is nothing else, it is a story that $&#@ing commits – to basically everything it does.

Now, I'm not going to tell you Venom: The Hunger is a story about overcoming depression, because I don't know whether author Len Kaminski even thought about it that way while working on it. There's always space for other readings, and this one take is not gospel. That said: holy shit is this thing unsubtle with its metaphors. And with that in mind, let’s start by talking a little about Kaminski’s take on Eddie himself.

As I may have mentioned before, I like to divide 90′s Eddie into two broad personas: the Meathead, and the Hobo.

Kaminski’s Eddie nominally belongs in the angsty, long-haired Hobo incarnation, but that’s a bit of a simplification: this version certainly has plenty of angst and plenty of hair to his name – but nowhere, not even at his lowest ebb, does he doubt that he and his Other are meant for each other, which is usually Hobo!Eddie’s primary existential quandary.

He’s also taken up narrating his own life like a hardboiled PI.

So that’s... novel.

The only other time Eddie’s sounded like this is, er, in that one other Venom one-shot Kaminski penned (Seed of Darkness, a prequel that sadly isn’t in The Hunger’s league), so I think we can safely file it under authorial ticks.

Then again, Hobo!Eddie’s always been one melodramatic SOB, so maybe this is just how he’d sound after learning to channel his angst into his poetry. You can’t argue it fits the aesthetic, anyway.

We’d also be remiss not to mention Ed Halsted’s art, which I can only describe as gothic-meets-noir-meets-H.R.-Giger. Never before or since has the alien symbiote looked this alien: twisted with Xenompoph-like ridges and veins.

But Halsted doesn’t treat Venom to all that extra detail in every panel. Instead, the distortion tends to appear when the symbiote is separated from Eddie or out of control – and I doubt you need me to walk you through the symbolic importance of that creative decision. More importantly, Halsted’s art provides exactly the class of visuals that Kaminski’s story needs.

Did I mention this is a horror story? You might be surprised how few Venom stories really fit that genre, but if all those adjectives about Halsted’s style above didn’t clue you in, this is one of them.

Anyway, with that much context covered, let’s get into the main narrative of this thing.

As our first issue opens, Eddie’s world has become a dark and foreboding place. He’s not sleeping, though he mostly brushes this off. (Fun fact: trouble sleeping is one of those under-appreciated symptoms of depression. Additional fun fact: the first doctor ever to suggest I might be suffering from depression was actually a sleep specialist. You can guess how that appointment was going.)

Just to set our scene, here’s all of page 1.

Eddie’s narration has plenty of (ha) venom for his surroundings, but the visuals are here to back him up: panels from Eddie’s POV are edged in twisted, fleshy borders and drained of colour, the people rendered as creepy, goblin-like creatures. A couple of later scenes go even further to contrast Eddie-vision with what everyone else is seeing:

As depictions of depression go this is a little on the nose, but then, you don’t read a comic about a brain-eating alien parasite looking for subtlety, do you?

Eddie  doesn’t see himself as depressed, of course. As far as he’s concerned, he’s seeing the world’s true face: it’s everyone else who’s deluding themselves. He’s still got his symbiote, so he’s happy. He’s yet to hit that all-important breaking point where something he can’t brush off goes irrevocably wrong.

But he’s also starting to experience these weird... cravings.

He just can’t put a name to exactly what he’s craving until a routine bar fight with a couple of thugs takes a turn for the horrific.

(I include this panel partly to point out even in The Hunger, the goriest of all 90′s Venom titles, you’re still not going to see brains getting eaten in any graphic detail. We don’t need to to get the horror of the moment across. The 90′s were a more innocent time.)

Eddie himself is horrified when he comes back to himself and realises what he’s done.

Or rather, what his symbiote’s just made him do.

Kaminski doesn’t keep us in suspense about why, though. Eddie may have just done something horrific, but there’s a reason, and it’s as mundane as a vitamin deficiency. He’s bonded to an alien creature, after all, and his symbiote is craving a nutrient which just happens to be found in human brains. And if Eddie can’t or won’t help it meet that need, it’ll do so alone. 

Now, giving us that explanation so quickly is an interesting creative decision: this is a horror story, and horror lives in what we don’t know. Wouldn’t it be all the more horrifying had the symbiote been unable to explain what’s going on, leaving Eddie without the first real clue as to where this monstrous new hunger had come from?

The Hunger doesn’t take that route though, and I love it. Eddie isn’t a monster, this isn’t his fault: he has a fucking condition, and wallowing in his own moral failings is going to get him nowhere. You might as well try to cure scurvy or rickets with positive thinking. Just like depression can make you feel like an utter failure at the most basic parts of being human, and all the affirmations in the world won’t fix it when it’s fundamentally your brain chemistry that’s the problem. Or like addicts aren’t weak-willed for struggling not to relapse, they’re dealing with genuine chemical dependency – or even like how someone who’s trans isn’t at fault for being unable to reconcile themselves to the bodies and the hormones they were born with by pure force of trying. Free will is more than an illusion, but we’re all messy, biological organisms underneath, and your own brain and biochemistry can and will fuck you over in a hundred wildly different ways for as many wildly different reasons and it’s not your fault.

We aren’t monsters. But if we do, sometimes, find ourselves identifying with the monster, there might be a reason for that.

(Ahem)

I’m just saying, that’s fucking powerful, and we need more stories that say it.

Anyway, in case you missed it during that tangent, issue #1 closes with the symbiote having torn Eddie’s heart in two itself free to go hunting brains without him.

I’m trying not to get too sidetracked at this point talking about Kaminski’s take on the symbiote itself. Suffice to say there are broadly two schools of thought on how it ought to function while separated from its host: the traditional ambulatory-slime-puddle version, and the more recently popular alternative where anything-you-can-do-with-a-host-you-can-also-do-without-one. I’m not much of a fan of the latter, personally: if your symbiote doesn’t actually need a host, I feel you’ve sort of missed the point. (The movie takes the route of saying symbiotes can’t even process Earth’s atmosphere without a host, which is a great new idea that appears nowhere in the comics, and I love it. Hosts or GTFO, baby!)

Kaminski has his own take, and I can only wish it had caught on. Without Eddie, the symbiote becomes an ever-shifting insectoid-tentacle-snake-monstrosity, driven by an animalistic hunger. It’s many things, but it’s never humanoid.

If you absolutely must have your symbiote operating minus a host, I feel this is the way to do it: semi-feral, shapeless and completely alien (uncontrollable violence and cravings for brains to be added to taste).

Issue #2 comes to us primarily through the perspective of the mild-mannered Dr. Thaddeus Paine of the Innsmouth Hills Sanitarium (yes, really).

Yeah, he’s not fooling anyone. Meet our official villain! He joins our story after Eddie is picked up by the police and handed off to the nearest available institution, on account of how completely sane and rational he’s been acting.

Naturally, Dr. Paine soon has copious notes on Eddie’s ‘crazy’ story about his psychic link to a brain-eating alien monster. Fortunately for Eddie, Paine also runs some tests and makes an interesting discovery. 

Congratulations, Venom: the ‘vitamin’ you were missing officially has a name!

Finding the right meds isn’t always this easy. I got lucky – the first ones my psych put me on worked pretty well – but I have plenty of friends who weren't so lucky. In fact, the treatment for Eddie's problems is so straightforward it arguably has more in common with, say, endocrine disorders like thyroid conditions or Addison’s disease, which differ from clinical depression but present many similar symptoms (but can sadly be just as much of a bitch to get correctly diagnosed – please do read author Maggie Stiefvater’s account of the latter when you get the chance, because forget Venom, that is a horror story).

‘True’ depression remains much less well understood by medicine, either in its causes or how to effectively treat it. But simply having a name for what was wrong with me made so much difference, and that’s an experience I imagine anyone who’s dealt with any long undiagnosed medical condition could relate to. It put my life in context in a way nothing else had in years.

(I can’t speak to the accuracy of the way phenethylamine is portrayed in this comic – a quick google suggests there may be some real debate that phenethylamine deficiencies have been overlooked as a contributor to clinical depression, but having no medical background, that one’s well beyond me. Either way, scientific accuracy really doesn’t matter in this context – it’s how it works in-universe for story purposes that we should pay attention to.)

Since this issue is mostly from Paine’s POV, we don’t get Eddie’s reaction to having a healthy amount of phenethylamine sloshing around in his brain again, just the assurance that treatment appears to be ‘completely successful’.

He’s still a paranoid, hostile bastard though. Meds can turn your life around, but they won’t make you not you.

But even if Eddie’s feeling better, he’s still psychically linked to someone who isn’t. Symbiote-vision still comes through drained of colour and edged in viscera.

That’s the thing about meds: they won’t solve all your problems overnight. If you’ve been depressed for a while, there are good odds you have problems stacking up. But working meds can be a godsend when it comes to getting you into a space where you can deal with your problems again, whether said problems are doing-your-laundry or all the way into not-giving-up-completely-and-just-accepting-you’ll-die-alone-on-the-street.

For Eddie, ‘dealing with his problems’ begins with stealing a keycard and busting out of the asylum.

Of course, that’s the easy part. How do you solve a problem like a feral symbiote? Like any good 90′s comic book protagonist, Eddie tackles it by putting on his big-boy camouflage pants and kitting himself out with weapons and pouches while quoting “If you live something, set it free. If it doesn’t come back, hunt it down.”

We can add this to the list of things I love about this comic. Even if The Hunger is a weirdly-stylistic tract about depression at heart, it’s also still a goddamn 90′s Venom comic, and not ashamed to be.

We’re into issue #3 now, and back to hearing the story from Eddie’s POV.

Eddie is very much aware that his symbiote has murdered innocent people while they’ve been separated. Even if this is the result of extreme circumstances, there’s a good case to be made that the symbiote is too dangerous to be allowed to live. Plenty of heroes would treat it like a rabid dog at this point.

But Eddie isn’t a hero, he’s a mess of a character and an anti-hero at best, so we don’t have to hold him to the same standard. He’s well aware his symbiote may be too far gone to save, that he may have to put it down – but that’s only his backup plan. He wants to help it. He wants it back. He’s down in that sewer with screamers and a flamethrower because he knows all his symbiote’s weaknesses, but he’s also carrying a large jar of black-market synthesised phenethylamine, because if he can just get close enough...

Depression can’t make you a literal monster, but it can make you an asshole. Miserable to be around, lacking even the energy to care who else you’re hurting. The depression doesn’t excuse that, but it makes everything harder, and it’s that much easier to sink back into your spiral when everyone around you has given up. It can make you think everyone around has given up even if that isn’t true.

So to have Eddie here say, in effect, I don’t care how many people you’ve eaten, I know it wasn’t your fault. I still love you. You’re still worth fighting for – god, does that get me right in the id.

There’s still a whole issue left at this point – we’ve still got to deal with our real villain, Dr. Paine, who we’ve just learned is into eating brains himself and torturing his patients recreationally, and who wants to capture the symbiote for his own purposes. There’s the scene where Eddie and his symbiote finally bond again, and Venom beats up all Paine’s goons while singing David Bowie because like I said, this is still a 90′s superhero comic and this is what Venom does.

But for our purposes, I'm going to skip to the penultimate page of the story, because the way it mirrors our opening page is really lovely.

Remember that shot of Eddie dealing with a beggar back at the beginning of the story, thinking about how these people would 'get their despair all over you'? Here he is again, cheerfully forking over the last dollar in his pocket to the next man to ask him for change. For all the gothic atmosphere and gore, it’s moments like this that make The Hunger easily one of the most positive, uplifting Venom stories ever written. Funny, that. (I could probably write a whole other essay on sympathy for the homeless as a recurring motif in Venom stories, but that... well, whole other essay and all that.)

What’s Eddie learned from this experience? Don’t take your symbiote for granted. Is ‘symbiote’ a metaphor for mental health here, is paying attention to its needs an allegory for paying attention to your own? I still don’t know how literally Kaminski meant us to take this, but it’s a lovely note to end on no matter how you parse it.

At the end of the day, The Hunger isn’t flawless. The conflict with Paine ends on a thematic but slightly unsatisfying note. Eddie makes much of his symbiote's loneliness and desire for union, but when the two of them are finally reunited, the only reaction comes from Eddie's side. In fact, the symbiote seems to have no response to being able to return to Eddie at all, and that’s an omission that bugs me.

But Kaminski is more interested than any other writer of the era in the truly alien nature of the symbiote, in its relationship with Eddie from Eddie’s side, and though plenty of others talk about the symbiote's love/hate relationship with Spider-man, no-one else had the guts to portray their relationship this much like a romance.

And Venom: The Hunger is no less interesting in the context of Len Kaminski’s other work. You don't have to look far into his Marvel and DC credits to pick up that the guy has a real thing for monsters. (“All of my favourite characters are outlaws, misfits, anti-heroes,” he says, in one of the very few interviews I could find with him, “I wouldn't know what to do with Superman.”) He's written for vampires, werewolves, victims of mad science, and all of three at once, littering his work with biochemistry-themed technobabble, melodramatic monologues, gratuitous pop-culture references, and protagonists who must learn to embrace their inner demons. So The Hunger represents more than a few of his favourite running themes.

For our context, his more notable other work includes Children of the Beast, in which a werewolf must make peace between his human and animalistic sides, and The Creeper, in which a journalist must make peace with the crazy super-powered alter-ego sharing his body. In fact, The Creeper and The Hunger share so much DNA (including an evil doctor posing as a respected psychiatrist who uses hypnosis on our hero while he's trapped in a mental institution) that it’s quite the achievement that they still feel like such very distinct entities beyond that point.

The human alter-egos of both werewolf and Creeper even use prescription meds while wrestling with their respective dark sides. The difference, in both cases, is that these are stories where meds play their traditional fictional role – and that's a role that could be as easily filled by illegal drugs or alcohol without making any substantive difference. You see, if a protagonist is using them, it's a sign of unwillingness to tackle their 'real' problems. Even among work by the same author in the same genre, The Hunger represents an outlier. And that's just a little disappointing – at least to me.

In real life, of course, prescription meds are no magical cure-all elixir. Depression meds that work for one person may not work for another, or may not keep working in the longer term. Everyone has heard stories about quack doctors who prescribe them to the wrong patients for the wrong reasons, about lives ruined by addictions to prescription painkillers, or the supposedly-damning statistics about how poorly SSRI's perform in rigorous clinical trials. The proper way to treat depression is obviously with lifestyle and therapy. People will still airily dismiss medications that we all know previous generations got along just fine without, or suggest that figures like Van Gogh would never have created great art if they hadn't been mad enough to slice off an ear. I mean, the fact you think you need those bogus mediations is probably the best possible sign of just how broken you are, right? Who do you think you’re kidding?

Our popular fiction loves stories about manly men who bury their trauma under a gruff, anti-social exterior and come back swinging at the world that broke them, bravely refusing even painkillers that might dull their manly reflexes. Other genres make space for broken people confronting their demons in grand moments of catharsis, finally breaking down into tears when someone gets through to make them face their problems. "I could barely make it out of bed in the mornings until I found a doctor who started me on this new prescription" is not only wildly counter to the accepted social narrative, it's a hard thing to know how to dramatise.

 Even other Venom comics have been guilty of this.

Believe me, I recognise all of this, and just how much progress we've made in the last few decades. But I haven't the slightest doubt that for so many vulnerable people, the stigma against prescription medications does infinitely more harm than those same meds could ever do. And just having the right to externalise my problems into it's not you, it's your brain chemistry, may have helped me more than the meds themselves.

(And again, no, being prescribed SSRI's didn't fix me overnight, but I honestly don't know if all the talk therapy and tearful conversations with family members in the world could've got me as far as I've come without them.)

I love Venom: The Hunger. It's no-one's idea of high art, but it doesn’t need to be. There is a whole other post’s worth of things I love about it that I’ve already cut out this one as pointless tangents, and that may actually be it’s biggest drawback as a go-to example: I fully recognise that I would not be making this post if The Hunger hadn't also also grabbed me as a great bit of Venom canon, being the massive fan and shipper that I am. Other people who are just as desperate as me for more stories with the same core theme, but not into weird 90's comics about needy goo aliens, probably won't get nearly as much out of it as I have.

But if it sounds anything like your jam, maybe you'll enjoy it as much as I did.

If nothing else, it proves that you can make a viscerally satisfying story out of a message that shockingly unconventional. And you may even have people still discovering it and falling in love with it 25 years after the fact.

[thecagedsong]

Forgotten Light: Chapter 7: Preparations

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11

Chapter 7: Preparation

Agad came in over breakfast.

“Agad, welcome to my home,” Seth said, taking a long drink of milk. He wiped his mouth with his sleeve, “Have a seat. What have you got on Kendra?”

Agad looked more tired than Seth had ever seen him, and let Seth’s joke go flat. He sat down and the six-armed woman that worked in the kitchen put a plate of oatmeal out for him. “Thank you, Simrin,” Agad said. “I have some news, not much of it good. I was able to track the goblins that stole the barrel, they were hiding in Goblin town.”

“Sounds like a fun place,” Seth said.

“You would probably enjoy it,” Agad said, bowing his head, “Just make sure not to lose your eye, or your tooth. It’s in Nevada, not a proper preserve, no caretaker. But they keep to themselves and have general distractor spells, so everyone leaves it alone. I found Slaggo there.”

“Long trip for a goblin on the run.”

“The Sphinx probably helped him, and a wizard named Vernaz. I thought she was an ally and gave Mendigo’s materials to her to be reconstructed. She was good at laying enchantments, much better than me. Her other talent is teleportation, and could have easily helped Slaggo leave Fablehaven with the barrel. I’m positive the barrel made it to the Sphinx.”

Seth finished his last bite of oatmeal, “Then we’re sure that the Sphinx and Ronodin are working together. That sucks, one of them is bad enough.”

Agad massaged his forehead, “I fear it was a mistake to make the Sphinx an Eternal. It will certainly keep the new demon prison closed from him, but I underestimated how cunning he is, even with his Shadow Charmer powers diminished.”

“What did you do to him?” Seth asked.

Agad shrugged, “Not enough apparently. He can’t hear the undead anymore, but we couldn’t dampen much else without killing him. He can put out fires, undo locks, shadow walk. That’s apparently enough to strike against us.”

“The Sphinx had this huge rant about refusing to be a captive,” Seth said, “We should have paid more attention to it. There was no way he was ever going to live by someone else’s say so. Remember, you gave all of us the call, we’re all to blame.”

“Yes, the long life seemed the greatest weakness to the mortal locks,” Agad replied, “It made sense at the time to have at least one person who would not feel that burden, but you are right. He firmly believed in his own rhetoric, and not acknowledging that was a mistake. Both the Sphinx and Vernaz have slipped away. Vanessa is going to be insufferable, and I am going to deserve every minute.”

Seth gave a joyless laugh, “Plenty of mistakes to go around. If the Sphinx happens to die, will that open the new prison? Asking for a friend.”

“No, the prison will remain closed,” Agad said, finally a little amused, “I do not think you would be able to let him die, and that’s fine. But if he happens to die, there are enough already constructed locks in place that the demons of Zzyzx will remain sealed. If the Sphinx comes under your power, save him because you are good, or do not save him because he has harmed those you love and will continue to do so for his own benefit. Do not worry about Zzyzx.”

“Noted,” Seth said. Agad finished breakfast and Seth led him to the War Room.

“I also examined the barrel here,” Agad explained as they walked, “The other half appears to be deep underwater.”

“Why would they do that?” Seth asked. “Did anyone touch the letter we left?”

“Your letter remains in place. An interesting response, and I see only advantages in it. The letter remains physically here, my only recommendation is to make it waterproof so when they pull the barrel up and remove the letter, it doesn’t get ruined by surrounding water. Which answers your other question. They didn’t destroy the barrel, which means they likely intend to use it again.”

“Can you find it?” Seth hoped. “Even a general location would help narrow down the search.”

Agad was already shaking his head, “It’s too deep, and somewhere protected. I can’t get a read on it aside from the fact that it is deep enough that the pressure would kill a human.”

“Great,” Seth said, running a hand through his hair. They approached the War Room, and Seth sat down with Agad across from him. Grandma and Grandpa were already there, and rushed to greet Agad. They updated him on Tess running around the preserve with the Cloak of innocence. Agad gave them the same information about Kendra.

“Any other leads?” Seth asked when everyone was caught up.

“Not quite,” Agad said, “I was unable to gain contact with the Fairy Queen, so we are waiting to see if her connection to Kendra remains strong. No further leads on Bracken either. The only good news I have is that Warren and Vanessa managed to help the caretaker regain a foothold of the Crescent Lagoon sanctuary.”

“I have Bracken’s horn,” Seth said, blinking. He was glad that his friends had some success, but they were okay, Bracken was not. He pulled it out of his emergency kit, “Kendra gave it to me before she lost her memory, along with the medallion and a bunch of information she was keeping to herself.”

“Bracken did say that he had re-established full connection with his horn,” Agad said, “May I see it?”

Seth nodded and offered it to the wizard. Everyone was silent as Agad’s brow pinched in concentration.

“The connection is weak, it feels as though he is under water. No, underground and under water,” Agad said, snowy eyebrows rising, “I would not have been able to tell had I not recently examined the barrel, but working around the water, earth and darkness, I can sense that he is not currently in pain. He seems…bored. He can’t sense me on this side of the connection. But…I would venture to say, he’s at approximately the same depth as the barrel. Within a couple hundred feet of each other.”

“Good,” Grandma said, “Ronodin is handling everything from a master base. There is a good chance Kendra is near them as well. Can you tell Bracken anything about Kendra being near him?”

Agad concentrated, then shook his head, letting out a shaky breath and lowering the horn. “At most, I might be able to push his subconscious thoughts in a certain direction. But I’m positive thoughts about Kendra already haunt him. His last prison ended with her after all.”

Uggh, of all the times to be a lovesick dummy. “Ronodin wants the horn,” Seth said, “That’s what Kendra told me, and I think he tried to get her to give it to him at the Dragon feast.”

“I shudder to think of why he wants it,” Agad said, then offered it back to Seth. “If he wants it badly enough, he’ll find whoever has it. He will likely be more willing to deal with you, knowing how much you want Kendra back. He will also suspect that you have it if Kendra does not. If he contacts you, use your judgement, rely on your grandparents and allies, contact me, and do not endanger the world.”

Seth took it and nodded, placing it back in his adventure kit, silently thanking Agad for placing the lead back in his hands. He would have thanked him out loud, but didn’t want Agad to rethink the choice.

There was a knock on the door, and Knox opened it, letting Tess fall through. “Seth! Seth! I saw the nice dragon! It was so huge!”

Nice dragon? Oh, she left with Eve and they went to see Dromadus. That’s okay then.

“Tess made it back,” Knox said, following her. Patton Burgess’s stingbulb shut the door behind them.

“We took turns flying the winged mounts and walking along the road, over all a very short trip,” Patton said, taking a seat next to Seth. “We heard about Kendra losing her memory. I’m so sorry.”

Patton offered his arms for a hug, and Seth took it, squeezing tightly.

Patton smiled and patted Seth on the back, returning the hug. “Don’t get too attached, I only have a day left.”

Seth released him, “I know,” Seth said, “But I’m glad you’re here while you are. Kendra was kidnapped by Ronodin and the Sphinx working together, and we’ll take any help you can give.”

“Hey, I deserve a hug too,” Doren protested, and both he and Newel tackled Seth in hug, ruffling his hair, before settling back like nothing had happened.

They went through yet another round of catch-up, as Tess squeezed herself in between Knox and Seth, fairly bouncing while waiting to tell her story.

“Tess, this is serious,” Knox scolded, “Kendra’s in a lot of trouble.”

“I know,” Tess said, holding still, “But the fairies at Fablehaven told me all about Bracken and Kendra. Bracken is like, this super cool fairy prince who likes Kendra and totally saves her all the time. And Kendra has a bunch of wicked cool powers from the Fairy Queen, they’re going to be okay until you and Seth rescue them, if they don’t rescue themselves.”

Not how Seth would describe them, Kendra spent a lot more time saving Bracken than the other way around, far as he knew. He was surprised that the Fablehaven fairies were that nice about Kendra though. He wasn’t the only one.

“The fairies said that?” Grandpa asked.

“Well, they said Bracken pitied her, not that he liked her,” Tess admitted, “but that’s what girls always say when the cool boy likes someone else. And they said that the Fairy Queen gives Kendra powers to do stuff for her, and the Fairy Queen is the most powerful person ever. So everything is going to be okay. Really, we need to worry about us.”

Attention snapped to Tess like a guitar string.

“The Dragons are planning to attack us. Tonight! Dromadus doesn’t know how, but he heard them acting like they already won,” Tess explained. “I was supposed to tell Seth. Oh! And don’t tell anyone who told us about the dragons, that’s a secret.”

“Tess,” Knox said slowly, “That’s the kind of thing you say right away.”

“But it’s rude to interrupt people,” she said, confused.

Seth stood up, and he saw Grandpa raise his eyebrows in surprise. Why was he surprised? This was Seth’s job, after all, for a little while longer anyway.

“Okay Agad, welcome to the next round,” Seth said, “Did you check the magical defenses? How are they holding?”

Agad shared an amused look with Grandpa, who just nodded. “I did. The protections seem more secure than ever, even more than when I was caretaker here.”

“The Dragons are certain of victory, but will be unable to mount a frontal assault,” Grandma mused.

“Is Celebrant being hasty?” Patton asked, “From what I understand, dragons with losing streaks don’t stay king for long.”

“Perhaps Dromadus is toying with us,” Marat offered, “His help is rather unexpected.”

“I don’t think Dromadus would do that,” Seth said, “When Kendra and I met him, he seemed kind of like the Fair Folk. Didn’t want the sanctuary to fall, but not gonna do anything about it. And if he isn’t right, and the dragons don’t attack, there’s nothing to gain. If he lied, we wont trust him in the future.”

Marat tilted his head, acknowledging Seth’s statement.

“Anything is possible,” Agad said, “It could be that Dromadus is working with Celebrant, and they are hoping to find a weakness as we scramble to cover ourselves.”

“We have to treat it like a real threat,” Seth decided. “Whatever we show, it can’t be worse than them coming after us when we are unprepared. Possible weaknesses?”

“We should go over our magical defenses one more time,” Marat suggested, “Review the treaty and see if there is anything we missed. It is possible we have a traitor in our midst that will grant them access.”

Unfortunate, but true. He hoped they had been careful enough, though he hadn’t been around much to make a good guess himself.

“What about the barrel?” Knox asked. “We know where that is now, right? Could that be the weakness?”

Agad frowned, “It feels out of character for Celebrant to brag of a victory achieved by allies on the other side of the barrel, but we should not discount it. It is currently the greatest hole in our defense.”

Something about what Knox said bothered Seth. They know where it is now. They weren’t dealing with the Sphinx, but they kind of were. What had the Sphinx done in the past while they thought they were safe? And what was it about Knox’s statement that bothered him?

There wasn’t the textbook method: create a problem, send a friend to help, friend is a traitor. This was a different tactic. The Sphinx liked to stay one step ahead, control the board from both sides, and make threats to force you into action when you’d really just like to sit on your winning streak. Seth thought about the stories he had shared with Knox. Sometimes he planted a traitor, and sometimes the Sphinx sent invisible assassins after you because he already knew where you were going to be. Sometimes he let demon dragons out of their prisons when you weren’t looking.

“Guys,” Seth said, a sick feeling in his stomach, “Hey,” he stopped Marat and Agad in the middle of their discussion about magical defenses. “Bad thought. Someone was controlling Mendigo way before when the barrel was first stolen, right? Probably Ronodin, since he’s been hanging around the preserve and making deals with the Dragons. We thought the person left with the barrel, but it was in the basement the whole time.”

He waited for someone to deny what he was hinting at.

“Ah,” Grandpa Sorenson said, “I see. Between the time the barrel was lost and found, both sides of the barrel were out of our control, and Mendigo was available on our side to assist a sleeper agent.”

Grandma, Tanu, and Agad all looked like they were about to throw up.

“What are you saying?” Knox asked.

“Seth is suggesting the possibility that someone is already here, but remaining hidden,” Marat clarified, “An insightful observation and deduction.”

“Celebrant could claim credit for successfully distracting us,” Agad admitted, “Not as good as a frontal assault, but enough for him to claim the win. Especially if he can claim the kill. If the enemy is hiding near the Blackwell, it would be nearly impossible to sense them around the aura of the undead.”

“The question is,” Grandma said, “whether the source of the threat is already here, or will it come through the barrel yet. I am loathe to give up our only connection to Kendra.”

“Any way we can make sure we aren’t being listened to, Agad?” Grandpa asked.

“Not that I can create without knowing our spy and what he is using,” Agad said, shaking his head. “We will have to plan even though we may be spied upon.”

“There can’t be a bunch of them,” Seth decided, “I can see through most hiding spells, and I haven’t seen anyone. I can’t get around distractor spells, that was Kendra’s half…” he looked down at Tess, fairy struck, who was sitting still and paying attention like a good girl. Plans were starting to come together “Let’s not talk about everything here. I want everyone to split into groups. Agad, Marat, where’s the best place to examine the magical defenses?”

They shared a look, “The tower where the Roost used to be,” Agad said at last. “The protections still form a small dent there, where a dragon may come closer than other area.”

“Okay, head to Seth Tower, I’ll meet up with you after.” Seth said. It was energizing, being heard and listened to. And to actually be doing something! The brothers nodded.

“Tanu,” Seth said, “I want your potions ready by dinner, whatever happens, you’re going to need to be stocked and ready to go.” Several people caught his emphasis, but didn’t say anything, just like he wanted. Well Tess asked, but Knox shushed her.

“I would appreciate an assistant,” Tanu said.

“I’ll help,” Patton said, standing up, “Unless you have a job for me elsewhere.”

Seth shook his head, “Helping Tanu is perfect.”

He turned to Grandma and Grandpa, “I need you guys to work with the staff. Let them know we’ve been warned of a threat, organize extra lookouts and patrols, organize a watch over the barrel, that kind of stuff. We don’t know what direction the threat coming from, so we cover as many directions as possible.”

Now it was time for Grandma to look amused, and Grandpa to look proud.

“Understood Seth,” she said. “We will retreat to the Winter Study to plan. Henrick will be back soon, and his help will be invaluable with this. We should wait to inform the staff until after he joins us.”

“Great idea, go for it. Er, where’s the Winter Study?” Seth asked, trying to remember from their tour.

“Directly below Kendra’s bedroom,” Agad said. “On the first floor.”

Seth nodded, he’d knock on doors until he found the right one.

Seth turned to his remaining players, “And finally: Doren, Newel, Tess, and Knox. I have a very special job for you. Wait outside the door while I make sure of something with Agad.”

“That’s our cue to leave,” Grandma said, patting a hand on her husband’s leg.

“The abundance of caution while in command suits you,” Grandpa said, standing up. He put his hand on Seth’s shoulder as he passed, “I’m proud of how you’re handling this situation.”

Considering a little over a week ago, he’d gotten a stern lecture about endangering his cousin and the consequences to trying to trick magic, this was quite the change. Grandpa smiled, and walked past him. There was a small lump in his throat. This feeling was why Kendra always did her best to make people proud of her. It was rarely sent his way.

Tanu and Patton also left, then the satyrs and his cousins went just outside the door.

Seth walked close to Agad and lowered his voice, “Tess is Fairy struck, can she see through distractor spells?”

Agad nodded.

Seth smiled and nodded as well. He whispered. “Can you bring the treaty document to the tower?”

Agad shook his head, “It is locked in a box in the Winter Study. The medallion opens the box. I recommend against moving it.”

Seth looked at Marat.

“I agree, with my brother. We have the contents memorized, we should only consult them upon need.”

Seth nodded, then stepped back.

“See you at Seth Tower soon.”

The two of them left, and Seth took a moment to fling himself on the couch and groan. The energy had left when everyone else did. Leading was such hard work! For the millionth time, he wished Kendra had let him turn the key. Sure he’d be kidnapped and being trained into an evil Shadow Charmer right now, but Kendra was so much smarter than him, she would have figured out about the intruder way before.

Probably because she had better judgement than him and didn’t usually trust terrible people right off the bat. And like she said, people usually had enough confidence in her to just trust her with important stuff.

The door creaked open, “Uh, Seth, did you have a job for us?” Newel asked.

Seth got up and went to the door. Remembering from his first day, he used the medallion to unlock a desk drawer in the corner, and pulled out a key ring, slipping it into his adventure pouch.

“Yeah, follow me, I don’t know how much of the keep Tess and Knox got to see,” Seth said, “And it’s a good time to get an updated map of it, in case we come under siege. It’s possible the Dragons are just going to stare us down until we run out of food. Any of you got any talent at drawing maps?”

There was a pause as Seth led on.

“I’ve dealt with a fair amount of treasure maps in my day,” Doren admitted, “And I’m not a shabby hand with a pen. I can draw.”

“Awesome,” Seth said, “Start with the storerooms in the basement storerooms, where the barrel was before, then the dungeons, then the ground floor. If you can get through those floors by lunch, that’d be great, but make sure to do them all. I want you three to go with him, and look for anything that seems suspicious. Look through the dungeons, but if any of you touch the Blackwell, or the chain next to the Blackwell, I’m throwing all of you inside it,” Seth said.

Seth had led them into the library and started pulling out loose sheets of paper, “Doesn’t matter how small. If it seems out of place, make a note of it.”

“Are you sure this is the best use of our time Seth?” Newel asked dubiously.

Seth grinned, “It’s a very good use of your time.”

Seth started writing on various blank papers, while they all watched him. He turned to his younger cousin when he was finished.

“Right. Tess? I want you looking for pictures and weird things on the walls.”

On this sheet of paper, Seth had written:

Every single time you see a person or creature, point at them, say something nice about them, and ask if you can talk to them. Knox will either say that you’re busy, or that the person isn’t there. Nod and keep walking every single time. Don’t let anyone know what’s written here, keep it a secret. Put a clean sheet on top of this one.  

“Here’s a list of the things you should look for. This is an old castle, there might be secret passages that we need to find out about before someone sneaks in,” Seth said, handing her the paper. She immediately started reading.

“Knox, you’re looking up higher, pay attention to cold or warm drafts and the items in the rooms, make note of which ones have weapons, look for places where the intruder could be staying,” Seth said, handing him a piece of paper that read:

Tess is going to ask to speak to everyone she sees. She has magic eyes like Kendra. If you see who she’s pointing to, tell her that you’re too busy to bother them. If you don’t see who she is pointing to, tell her that there’s no one there and you don’t have time for games. Make notes, but don’t engage.

He turned to Newel, “Your job is to make sure no one runs into walls while writing stuff down, and make sure to explore everything. Bring the cool stuff back to me, so that our item troll doesn’t try to keep it for the shelves.” Seth said, spouting nonsense. “Write down where you find it though, in case Agad says we need to return it or unleash another apocalypse.”

“Better to ask forgiveness than permission,” Newel nodded with a salute. Seth handed him a paper that read:

If someone was listening to our meeting, they are going to be following you. Watch for them. Tess and Knox are going to be acting weird, just ignore them. You’re on protector duty.

And Seth handed fully blank sheets to Doren, “And, of course, you’re on the map. Here’s paper, pens, clipboard, and scotch tape. Everyone know their job?”

The four of them looked excited as they nodded. “Good,” Seth said, “Meet back in the War Room after lunch.”

Doren and Newel slung another salute. Tess tried to copy them and slapped herself in the face. Knox just rolled his eyes.

They left, and Seth debated between going to check up on Grandma and Grandpa, or heading straight to Seth Tower.

His grandparents couldn’t set anything in stone without Hendrick, so he’d head to the Tower. He’d be able to see Henrick coming back, and take him to Grandma and Grandpa when the Alcetaur arrived.

Up at the tower room, Marat and Agad were waiting for him.

“So, magic defenses in place?” Seth asked.

Agad nodded, “Perfect, just like I said twenty minutes ago. Mind explaining more of your plan?”

“Sure,” Seth said, “Grandma and Grandpa are doing exactly what I said they were. Running the past week from Blackwell made them the best people for that, until Hendrick gets back to help. Tanu is also doing exactly what I told him too.

“I sent Tess, Knox, and the satyrs looking for people hiding themselves with distractor spells, but they look like they’re creating a fresh map of the lower floors. Tess is pointing out everyone she sees to Knox, Knox is telling her that they’re too busy to talk to anyone and taking note of the people that Tess sees that he doesn’t. Because they’re the group doing the most suspicious work, I’m hoping any spies here are following them, letting the rest of us get things done. Newel is on the look out for someone following them, and thinks that’s what he thinks they’re doing. Doren is actually creating a map.”

Seth was rather proud of that plan, and feeling pretty ingenious for coming up with it in only ten minutes.

“Once again, not bad,” Agad said.

Seth gave a dry smile, “I learned from the best teacher. The Sphinx betraying me and my friends over and over. After this, I’m going to do my own sweep, trying to see through the shadows while shadow walking.”

“Might I recommend also holding your unsheathed sword at the same time?” Marat said. “That is the sword of Tregain, yes?”

Seth glanced down, “Oh that’s right! This sword helps make people look away from me, especially bigger creatures. I’ll definitely do that.”

“A very pro-active plan,” Agad said, “I will admit to not even considering the idea of someone hiding in the Blackwell. The barrel messes with the traditional rule of only allowing visitors a single night of stay, as that magic is activated upon crossing the boundary.”

“I do not believe that is all to our caretaker’s plan,” Marat said, amused, “I believe he feels he will do more for our mission elsewhere, and intends to return the mantle of caretaker to me.”

Agad gaped, then turned, “Is this true, Seth?”

Seth nodded, “Celebrant is no longer co-caretaker. The issue we came here to solve, the weakening barrier, is fixed. There’s no problem with Marat being caretaker, according to Dromadus, so long as he stays in human form. I’d be a lot more useful helping track down Kendra and Bracken.”

“Before you go any farther,” Agad said, holding up a hand, “There are things I wish to disclose to the caretaker of a dragon sanctuary. The remaining lines of defense after the sanctuaries fall. We can continue to discuss your possible resignation afterwards.”

Seth hopped onto a wide window ledge, “Okay, hit me. What else we got before the next apocalypse?”

“These secrets should not be repeated,” Agad warned, “Except to your most trusted ally at the time of greatest need.”

Seth glanced at Marat, who nodded, “I am already aware of the provisions my brother speaks of. Do not worry.”

“The first is why Dragons from fallen sanctuaries have yet to invade the mortal world,” Agad explained, “There is a magic item, perhaps the most magic item in existence —”

“More then the Wizenstone?” Seth asked, eyebrows raised. He was starting to suspect that there wasn’t an actual standard for how ‘magic’ an item is.

Agad paused, and Marat chuckled. Agad continued, “No, I suppose, not greater than the Wizenstone. Possibly it’s equal. I would not like to test either object against the other. The skull of the first dragon that ever lived, Abraxtus, is more heavily ensorcelled, than any other object I have ever come in contact with. It is called The Sovereign Skull. It takes all the disbelief in magic that all mortals generate, and creates a repulsive barrier against dragons. This is our absolute last line of defense, and must be protected at all costs. Only a few wizards know the location, and that information will never be divulged for its own protection.”

Seth nodded, “Can I have the name of a wizard that does know? Just in case.”

Agad looked him straight in the eye. “No.”

Seth nodded, “That’s fair. Sounds like we’re hoping it doesn’t get that far.” As though they had ever had any luck in that department.

“Another line of defense: the Dragon Slayers,” Agad said.

Seth grinned, “The Somber Knight was so cool. A bit of a downer, but a real life-saver. He’s still a bit…messy, after rescuing Kendra from being dinner. You’re talking about the ones at the other six sanctuaries, right?”

Agad nodded, “In addition to the other six at sanctuaries, there are five others that have been living in the world, waiting to be called upon again. It will take a while to wake them up, but Celebrant declaring war was the key.”

Seth nodded, “You did the same thing with the dragon preserves that you did with the demon prisons. How are these guys at handling immortality? We sure they didn’t try to off themselves?”

Agad said, “They all already had experiences with extended lifespans, so hopefully we are rousing them from a pleasurable retirement. And then there is a line of defense you are slightly more familiar with: the three treasures in the secret dragon temples.”

“Right, gauntlets that control dragons. Every dragon in a hundred miles comes by to kill you if you look at them funny,” Seth recited, remembering Thronis’s warning.

Agad nodded, “There are two other items, and two other sacred temples guarding these items at dragon sanctuaries. The harp that can send any dragon to sleep, and the shield that can defend against any dragon’s attack. These items were necessary to winning the war against the dragons the first time, and now that we’re facing war again, we need them back.”

Seth tilted his head, “Did they already get new guardians for the temple here at Wyrmroost? Cause we killed them, and its not like those were your ordinary, everyday dragons, and no one besides Gavin and Thronis knew we went there for the obsidian waste key.”

“It would be foolish to assume they aren’t guarded,” Agad said, considering carefully, “Though it is also strange that Celebrant has never ranted against your party for that affront. The answer is that I do not know.”

There was a moment of silence as everyone thought about the predicament.

“Well,” Seth said, “How buried is the translocator? Me and Kendra have been in the temple treasure room, we, er, I, for the moment, could grab the gloves and come back in a snap.”

Marat spoke up, “Bringing the translocator back into play at this time would be a dangerous move. That item is really too powerful. Dragons in human form could use it to escape the sanctuaries without a fight.”

Agad nodded, “All the artifacts are currently inaccessible. We used the Chronometer to hide the translocator, the sands of sanctity, and the occulous six more years in the future, waiting for us to finish designing the vaults. The Font needed to remain in the present, to support our first immortal, but that is the only artifact accessible. At least, until the Sphinx made off with it during his escape. Good thinking, but unfortunately untenable.”

A horn sounded from the parapet over the gate.

“That means a dragon is coming, right?” Seth asked, turning around in the window. “Raxtus maybe?”

“It means official visitors,” Marat clarified, “It certainly has been seeing its use this week. It also announced the arrival of the carriage from Stormguard.”

“Got it,” Seth said, standing up, “Anything else you need to tell the current caretaker of wyrmroost about the grand scheme of defenses?”

“No, those are our three lines: talismans, dragon slayers, and The Sovereign Skull,” Agad counted.

“Okay, I’ll keep those in mind, and never tell anyone, unless I absolutely have to,” Seth said, drawing a cross over his heart for good measure. “My plan is simple. Celebrant is a great big ego, right? He hates Kendra for insulting him, and it’s embarrassing that he keeps losing to a couple of kids. He’s getting help, he’s getting desperate, no matter what his plan is, right?”

Agad nodded.

“So, I’m going to offer him one last insult as caretaker,” Seth said with a grin, “His little rebellion isn’t even worth my time. After we deal with our guests at the gate, I’m going to do my sweep of everywhere while walking through shadows. Then I’m going to give being caretaker over to Marat, and we’re going to leave, with the barrel. That’s Blackwell’s biggest weakness, and it doesn’t need to be here for us to use it. I’ll leave Marat with a parting note to read to Celebrant, letting him know that we have better things to do.”

Agad started chuckling, moving his hand to cover his mouth when it didn’t stop.

“Boom,” Seth said with relish, “Biggest weakness removed, whoever is in the castle has to figure out how to kill Marat, who’s going to be a lot harder to kill than me, I get to go after Kendra, and we throw one last insult over our shoulder.”

Agad continued to laugh, but the most Marat gave was an amused look.

“And how exactly do you intend to leave?” Marat asked, “The walkway between the typical entrance and the Keep will not be guarded for this trip.”

“We have some pretty cool rides,” Seth said, “Not sure you saw them when Patton came in, but Kendra met up with a fairy godmother and boom, the luvians we were riding all have wings. We’ll need to make it so they can leave the sanctuary with us, but if they can make it through the sky on a festival night, they can probably get us past the barrier. We’ll have to ask them of course, but I think we’ll be in pretty good shape. They strike me as adventurous.”

“I would like to make one suggestion,” Agad said, wiping a tear from his eye, “Leave in peace, no one attacks at all, and leave before night falls. I’m sure they intend to strike in the dark. You leave two hours before sunset, and Celebrant likely wont have time to demand to know what you’re doing. Use Tess’s cloak of innocence to see you safely past the barrier.”

“Oh, that is wicked,” Marat chuckled. “But we have dawdled enough. The horn summons the caretaker to official business.”

Seth took one last look out the window and down the road, and paused. He pulled out his eyeglass from his adventure pouch. “Is that…Henrick leading a bunch dryads?”

[caitybug]

It may be February but... why not haha. 

Below the cut, organized in chronological order, are the fics I wrote in 2020! All put into one place :D. Thank you to everyone who read, kudos’d, commented, beta’d, and supported my writing. It was my first ever year writing fanfiction, and I am so thankful for all the friends I’ve made because of it.

<3 <3

If Not For You

Word count: 92,461 Chapters: 36 Rating: M

Summary:

Simon was born and raised in the midwest, and he thinks he has his life figured out. He has a girlfriend that he feels happy with, is excited to drive for his junior year, and can't wait to get away from his father when he goes away for school.

However, this all changes when his mom dies and he is carted to the east coast to start at a boarding school. Simon then has to deal with having a roommate (who hates him), living with his mother's death, and wanting to be anywhere but where he is.

To add to it all, one day he gets a strange phone call, and he wonders if his mother's death was really an accident at all.

author’s note:

This was my first like actual fic. And my first try at writing something. This fic will always have a special place in my heart because it helped lead me to all the amazing people I now call friends <3

Not only that but it was a bit of therapy for me. (Self insert? In MY fanfiction? More likely than you’d think!)

Anyway, whenever someone comments, leaves kudos, or otherwise acknowledge that the fic exists I get emotional haha. I also have like three playlists for it too haha.

The Heist

Word Count:7456 Rating:T

Summary:

It's the fourth year of the Halloween heist, and Baz is determined to win. He thinks he has it all planned, that he knows Simon Snow through and through.

Despite this, somehow Simon still manages to surprise him.

author’s note:

b99 AU bahaha. Need I say more??

Pay Your Fines, Snow

Word Count: 1524 Rating: T

Summary:

Baz Pitch works at the local library every summer. He's annoyed at kids who run around, people who don't follow directions, and Simon Snow- who can't pay a fine on time.

author’s note

This fic was the first of the fics that sparked all my crazy prompts haha. It was so much fun to do! 

There is a wonderful podfic of this made by the amazing and beautiful @xivz​, and it also has art now by @peachpit-gabe!! Go check it out here. 

A Rebirth

Word Count: 3374 Rating: T

Summary:

Simon and Baz need to finish their presentation for their Art History class. However, Baz also got pulled into watching his younger siblings for the weekend.

Frozen 2, chicken nuggets, sword fights, and themes of Renaissance.

author’s note

I wrote this for the amazing @krisrix as a prompt! It was so much fun to do and I legit wrote the whole thing in like one afternoon and had it looked over and posted it haha. I still feel bad because Kris legit asked for babies and I kicked the babies out at the beginning of the fic LOL. 

Coming Together in Three Parts

Word Count: 4639 Rating: M Chapters: 3

Summary:

Three snippets of their lives after Wayward Son.

author’s note:

The summary definitely leaves a lot to be imagined haha. But I decided to pull a @ninemagicks and give a metaphor of threes and I love yous. So it’s three lovely stages after Wayward Son. There’s the I Love You, the moving in, and then a marriage proposal. I was fairly proud of this! And I did this as an exchange fic as well. 

The Three Acts of a Wizard

Word Count: 6439 Rating: T

Summary:

Today, Baz is giving Simon a reprieve (or, that's what he is telling Simon.)

Cue a removal of cursed body parts, a grumpy fireplace who *knows* what is happening, and a shrill frizzy-haired friend threatening to poison some scones.

(this is a remix fic for @ninemagicks​ HMC AU YWSAFS

author’s note:

I wrote this for Nena’s birthday in the summer! Their friendship has meant the world to me, and this story is what I think gave me the gall courage to message them and harass them with 2k word comments/metas haha. If you’ve not read their fic, make sure to do so!

Heaven is a Place on Earth

Word Count: 12,711 Rating: M Chapters: 5 Summary:

Five hours each week. That's all Simon and Baz get.

But we know that's all they need to fall in love...

~~

A San Junipero AU

author’s note:

This fic idea came to me randomly and I literally wrote it in a week. I love it so much, and despite being MCD I think it’s still generally happy (I mean.. they do end up together??) Idk, it has a special place in my heart. And I made @krisrix read Baz with an american accent so... win win haha. 

(Un)Sexy Saturday

Word Count: 6157 Rating: M/E Chapters: 9 (they’re different stories each chapter.)

Summary:

Summaries vary by chapter. Overall it’s just a collection of silly stories where sex gets interrupted. 

author’s note:

Honestly this series was so fun to do. I need to continue it sometime! From beauty blender butt plugs, to swingers, to garlic allergies... it just makes me laugh haha. 

5 Times Simon Wanted a Fistbump, and the 1 Time He Finally Got It

Word Count: 5489 Rating: T Chapters: 6

Summary:

Simon Snow hasn't had a lot of friends in his life. He has Penny, who is great, of course. He has Baz (but does he count as a friend?)

So now, seeing Shepard, he's got a chance at a friend. A bro of sorts.

Simon sees the final hurdle in their friendship to be a fist bump. A simple signal of their friendship.

But how long is it going to take to get it??

~~

5 + 1 Yearning for a Fist Bump.

author’s note:

Simpard. Friendship. And art by @nick-eyre?? Perfection. 

A Goblin’s Skull, Maccies, and a Door Handle

Word Count: 2017 Rating: T

Summary:

Simon Snow wakes up in a building he doesn't know, tied up and blindfolded.

Luckily his best bro Shepard is there too.

author’s note:

Wrote this as a little bday treat for @nick-eyre :D. Decided to give Simon a friend who would also lust after goblins with him haha. 

One Word, Four Letters, A Lifetime's Worth of Pain: IKEA

Word Count: 2428 Rating: T

Summary:

Baz comes home and notices the house is suspiciously quiet.

When he finds Simon, surrounded by unfinished pieces of furniture, he can't help but ask... why?

Author’s note:

This was written as a birthday gift for @foolofabookwyrm! She is an absolute gem and has never been to IKEA, but now I hope she understands the struggle of building IKEA furniture haha. 

The Beat of My Heart

Word Count: 2230 Rating: T

Summary:

Simon is kneeling on the ground, waiting for Baz to come home.

He has a question. One he's wanted to ask for a while.

author’s note:

This was written as a birthday gift for @krisrix! A little proposal fic for the rat king <3 <3

Out of My Mind

Word Count: 10876 Rating: M Chapters: 3

Summary:

Baz and Simon are living their lives, domestic and content. They have a nine-year-old daughter, a Sunday morning routine, and plans to be alone for the first time for a while.

But when a girl who is growing into her powers reads something she shouldn't, they get into a predicament they don't expect.

author’s note:

This was a COE gift for @krisrix! Body Swap! Parents! Married! I tried to do it all for him haha. 2020 was really the year where I was like yeah, let’s write Kris a million fics. And honestly—wouldn’t have it any other way.

Imposter vs Crewmates

Word Count: 754 Rating: T

Summary:

Everyone has their quarantine coping strategies.

Simon tried to bake bread.

Baz watched Twilight.

But Penelope...

She introduced the gang to Among Us.

author’s note:

Look. I’ve no excuses for this lolol. Just thought it’d be silly :D. 

The Ethics of Wanting You

Word Count: 1417 Rating: T

Summary:

Simon Snow realized recently that he has a crush on Baz.

Penny suggested he find reasons to spend more time with him, so he suggests a study session for their ethics exam the following day.

(It doesn't go as planned, but the result is very much worth it.)

author’s note:

Birthday gift for @peachpit-gabe <3 <3. Just a cute one shot with snowbaz.

Pumpkin, Let’s Make a Patch

Word Count: 2516 Rating: T

Summary:

Simon Snow is trying to create a neighborhood pumpkin patch.

Baz, unknowingly, rips the pumpkins out of his front lawn.

(How will he make it up to him?)

author’s note:

This was done for the COC. I based it off this cute tiktok series with this kid who rode around on his skateboard and plants pumpkins around his neighborhood.

Weathering the Storm

Word Count: 2248 Rating: T

Summary:

Shepard was nine when he first met a boy he'd learn was Simon Snow.

He was in a ditch crying, and Shepard wasn't sure what to make of him.

This boy lived in his mind until he saw him again years later.

And today, when there's a storm unlike any other in London, he knows who must be at the center of it.

author’s note:

Honestly. This is probably one of my favorite things I’ve ever written. IDK. It’s so short but... I love it. And if you like to listen to fics— @bloodiedpixie did a phenomenal podfic of it! And @nick-eyre did AMAZING art for it too <3. 

New Beginnings

Word Count: 2090 Rating: T

Summary:

It's the first New Years Eve after the Christmas that changed everything.

After Simon Snow and Baz kissed.

After they defeated the humdrum.

After the Mage's death.

But, as many of us do, it's time to take the New Year as an opportunity to begin anew.

author’s note:

Part of a server exchange I did for @knitbelove :D. 

And, all of the prompts I’ve yet to put on ao3... lolol

[thoselethalarts]

𝓝𝔂𝔁 𝓝𝓸𝓬𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓷𝓮 - 𝓟𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓸𝓷𝓪𝓵 𝓢𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂

(SSR) Birthday Suit Up (Part 2): “Happy Birthday!”

(Scarabia Dorm – Birthday Party Venue)

(NRC Newspaper “Birthday Interview” ~Nyx Issue~)

( What sorts of things are you passionate about? )

Nyx: Art, mostly!

Digital’s my main medium these days, but I still do traditional a lot for practice and figure drawing.

( As an artist, can you tell us a bit about what inspires you? )

Nyx: Inspirations...? Heheh... well, isn't that an interesting question~ I don't think I've ever had someone ask me that before.

Let me ask... are you familiar with the legend of the Dark Soldiers from the Land of Keys?

( I can't say that I am. )

Nyx: Well, you see, the Land of Keys is a super mysterious place, even though there's a lot of people that live there today. And it's absolutely saturated with magic energy.

There's this legend that's native to there... of shadows that emerge from the earth and steal peoples' hearts.

They’re different from regular monsters; they say these creatures are born from the darkness that lurks in peoples' hearts. All their negative emotions: hatred, malice, disgust, envy, greed, pride, and gluttony...

When those people die... that darkness rises from the husk the person left behind, and springs back to life!

Those creatures, the Dark Soldiers, hunt after the living to try and steal their hearts, craving the light of the living to match their own saturated darkness, so they can finally become whole and live again...

( Sounds like an urban legend. )

Nyx: It kinda is! But unlike most urban legends, people have actually reported seeing them around hundreds of times before.

They’ve mostly only been reported in the Land of Keys, but sometimes people claim to seeing them in other countries too.

But see, the sightings alone aren’t just what makes them interesting, but also the way they act when they’ve been sighted.

While some of them hunt people down indiscriminately for their hearts... the bigger and stronger ones don't.

There’s a running theory that’s the main reason why they’re called “soldiers” and not “thieves”, and that’s somebody must be taking control of them once they become strong enough and using them like a personal army.

Theory stands if you look at how they act. The little ones are like feral goblins, but the big ones always pack together and work together in an organized, intelligent troupe.

Nobody really knows who could be doing it or what they’re after, but there are accounts of old villages and small towns that’ve been completely ravaged and abandoned because of them.

But regardless of their history... those dark soldiers are... HELLA COOL~!!

( C-Cool...?? )

Nyx: Well, yeah! Who wouldn't think something like that is cool as hell?!

I-I mean, anyway, I've got a huge affiliation for the dark and macabre, so stuff like that is just super interesting to me.

Anyway, there hasn’t been a major attack from them in like hundreds of years. Plus defensive magic is so much more common and refined nowadays that the little ones really aren't that big of a worry anymore either.

There’s kinda a cult following behind them nowadays, actually, especially since sightings of them have become so rare. Plushies, t-shirts, jewelry... you can find stuff made in their likeness everywhere if you know where to look.

The top I wear in my dorm uniform is emblazoned with the same symbol that appears on the bodies of the Dark Soldiers, and the creatures I make with my UM are based largely off their designs...

So, uh... I guess you could say I'm just a little bit obsessed~ Hehe~

/ To be Continued...

[theincaprincess]

Culture Shock

Main master list here

Forever tag list @amyf20​ @deepestfirefun​ @blankdblank​ @moonfaery​ @catthefearless​ @meyoko10​ @tolkienprincess​ @starlightintherain89​ @southsidesarcasticwriter @fuer-immer-jetzt​ @fizzyxcustard​ @lady-of-lies​ @xxbyimm​ @miabee0706​

Ori tag list @bettythedwarfqueen​ @tolkien-fantasty @thesmellofasinnamonroll​

Thorin tag list @phanaelion​ @soradragon​

Hobbit/LOTR tag list @Slither-in-a-half

Warning: Little bit of swearing.

@random-thoughts-003​ requested 

(Part 1) I shaved my head today and was wondering if you could write a fic of a fem!reader from this world shaving her head after a few weeks in middle earth and the dwarves and Bilbo being confused while Gandalf isn’t for some wizardly reason. Hope this isn’t too much!

(Part 2) Sorry if I’ve already sent it, but maybe you could do a little thing where a reader who is from this world that is brought in by Gandalf somehow? And after a while she gets annoyed by how dirty and tangled her hair has gotten so she uses one of the weapons to shave her head? And the company is confused on why she would do that and doesn’t recognize her at first? Like they point their weapons at her and ask who she is ending with them confused and laughing? And asking questions?

Word count 1,166

Months you had been travelling with the company of Thorin Oakenshield, after Gandalf somehow dragged you from your own world into Middle Earth and still didn’t know how to get you back home, even Lord Elrond didn’t know, you had a part to play in this adventure, and only after you had completed your task the way home would be seen. 

Your hair had become so matted and dirty within the months, you did have a small hairbrush in your bag that you had been carrying with you when you arrived, but that was lost when you and the company ended up in goblin town and the goblins searched your bag and took everything that was in there, you weren’t really bothered about your money as you knew you couldn’t spend it here in Middle Earth, but you really missed your hairbrush and the small pouch you kept spare hair ties and clips in. As a girl you always had a few hair ties on your wrists, but after a while, those snapped as your hair got thicker and thicker full of dirt and knots, even Kili had shared some of his ties with you but at last, they snapped too. 

….

Laying on the ground you were currently looking up at the stars, listening to the sound of snores coming from the sleeping company, lifting yourself up to your elbows you looked around and saw it was Gandalf’s turn on lookout duty, pushing yourself to your feet you gently made your way over to Gandalf dodging feet and hands on your way over, before lowing yourself down next to the wizard, seeing Bilbo at his side, writing in his journal away in his own world you thought as you said a soft “Good evening” as not to scare them with your sudden appearance. 

“Good evening” both Gandalf and Bilbo greeted back with a soft smile before going back to what they were doing, sitting quietly next to the wizard you were trying to build up the courage you ask your question, when Gandalf broke the silence “I know what you are about to ask me (Y/n), and it’s not possible, because if it was I would have done it for you already.”

Looking up at Gandalf you wet your lips “So you can’t spell my hair to not be knotty?”

“No I can’t” Gandalf said, taking a puff from his pipe. 

“Yet you can turn people into animals” You said adding a little sarcasm to it. 

“That is different, I spell the whole body, not just one point if I could help you I would, I’m sorry (Y/n)” Gandalf said patting your back and giving you a kind smile. 

Nodding your head you stared out into the night hearing the sound of a river not too far away, and an idea popped into your brain as you smiled to yourself, raising to your feet you wet your lips “I’m going for a wash” you said as Bilbo nodded and Gandalf had a sly smile like he could read your mind. 

Feeling the water cascade over your body, you felt your muscles relax as you laid on your back, looking up at the sky as you could see the dawn was approaching with the sky being painted with oranges, pinks, and red hues, it had been a while since you and the company weren’t running for your lives and you could enjoy the simple moments in life, sitting up in the river you reached for your borrowed sword and knives and pulled the first strand of hair in front of your eyes, and got to work.

….

Looking around the camp the company started to panic finding the wizard and hobbit fast asleep and you know where to be seen, calling out for you Thorin ordered the company to draw their weapons as Ori packed up your bag and placed it next to his in hopes you were coming back. 

Hearing your name being shouted as you made your way back to camp you smiled at yourself knowing the wizard and hobbit would be sleeping, this was the fourth time this has happened so far, breaking into a sprite to get back to camp before Thorin blew up and Gandalf and Bilbo you shouted out “I’m fine, I just went for a bath and lost track of time.” 

“I hear her” Ori shouted to the company as Bilbo and Gandalf were rudely awoken by Thorin slapping the back of their heads before turning his eyes to the tree line as a woman with no hair stepped out of it, making all the dwarves gasp and point their weapons at the intruder. 

Throwing your hands up in the air you let out a laugh at their shock faces “Guys it is me, it’s (y/n)” you spoke as you looked at each one of them seeing the fear and confusion in their eyes. 

“What have you done to (y/n)” Thorin’s voice boomed across the field as he stomped forward holding his sword out, making you lift an eyebrow at the dwarf king. 

“I am (y/n)” you argued, placing your hands on your hip staring down at the king, clearly annoyed at his actions. 

“No you’re not, (y/n) had long hair, you’re an imposture” Thorin argued back.

“I know I did, it was tangled as fuck and Gandalf is a shit wizard who dragged me here from my world and he can’t even spell my hair not to get knotty” you screamed  “No offence Gandalf” you added and watched the wizard wave his hand at you. 

“It’s really her” Gandalf said as he stepped next to you lowing Thorin’s sword with his hand as the company followed suit. 

“Why did you cut your hair off?” a small voice asked from the back as all eyes turned to it to see Ori holding one of his drawings of you with your long hair.

Pushing your way over to him you sat on the floor and told him your reasons as the rest of the company sat down and started to listen, “it’s not really a big deal, people from my world cut their hair like this all the time” you said as you ended defending your actions. 

“Well actually hair is sacrate to us dwarves and part of our culture” Ori said, making you feel bad for what you had just done. 

“Well the good news is my hair will grow back, and I promise I won’t go so dramatic with the hair cut next time” you said holding a smile as Ori smiled up at you with puppy dog eyes. 

“So people in your world do this to their hair all the time?” Kili asked as the rest of the company nodded along clearly wanting to know the answer. 

Inhaling a deep breath, you started to tell them about your world as you had never really talked about it and you answered any and all of the company questions.

[mhdiaries]

Classroom Cleo de Nile & Ghoulia Yelps Mad Science Class Journal

Today was the dreaded “Choosing of Partners for Group Projects” although it could just be me that dreads it. I guess it is because there always seems to be a fight to see who gets to be my partner. I suppose that is an arrogant thing to write but it is true. In some ways it is flattering in other ways, not so much. Even Manny Taur goes out of his way to be nice to me. He is not exactly good at it, but he does try. Mr. Hackington decided this year to try and mitigate the chaos by putting all our names into a skull and drawing them out two at a time. There was some complaining about this new development until he finally said, “You get what you gets and you don’t pitch a fit!” My parents used to tell me that when I was a little ghoul, well probably not the way Mr. Hackington said it but he got his point across. Regardless, at least it keeps me from having to say “yes” to one classmate and “no” to the rest. 

Cleo complained the loudest about the new system until our names got pulled as partners... sigh... I love Cleo and she is my beast friend ever but I was really hoping for... well it does not matter. He got paired up with Frankie and I am sure they will do just fine. Normally having Cleo as a partner means... it means the extra credit work I usually do when I am working on a project by myself seems to be enough for both of us to an “A”. Cleo’s main functions include reminding me to do things I have already done and calling Deuce to bring us lunch or lattes. Not that I complain too much about that, and Deuce does have a way of keeping Cleo focused. She also insists on giving the final presentation, which usually goes well since she does command attention. This time though our assignment is to research the Science of Perfume, and then our final project will be to create our very own fragrance. I must say that I was completely surprised by Cleo’s enthusiasm for the project. I am not sure whether to be excited or frightened by this development. 

Finally a project worthy of my royal attention! I must say on past projects I have allowed Ghoulia to do the dragon’s share of the work but this is something I can really get my bandages wrapped around. When we still lived in Egypt, before “the difficulties”, one of my jobs was to oversee the royal perfumers. Nefera used to tell me that it was a job reserved for “a princess who would never become queen” but I didn’t care. While Nefera was in some dreadfully boring meeting about how much grain would be harvested for the year or where to build the next royal monument, I would go down and meet the trade caravans. They would be loaded with spices, oils and exotic flowers from the South and East, and the air was always filled with their fragrance. The royal perfumers and I would choose the best of everything to be had, then they would take the ingredients back to their perfumery and work their magic. I always wanted to join them as they cooked, ground and mixed the different ingredients to make perfume and scented oils, but this was looked upon as a task beneath a princess, so I could only watch. Now that I have a chance to get my hands dirty, so to speak, I can’t wait to get started. 

I have been pleasantly surprised by Cleo’s contributions to our project. She has really taken the dragon by the horns and unlike past projects together, I have had to “run” to keep up with her. Her enthusiasm and deadication to the project are quite refreshing and she has filled my in box with recipes and suggestions. So for the first time in, well, ever, I am feeling like the “weak link” in an academic setting. I find myself not entirely liking it, which makes me feel just a tiny bit selfish and unneeded. Yes, I know that this is completely illogical, but what if it becomes a habit? Will I lose my place in the group if my brainpower is no longer needed?... #DepressingThought

Ghoulia seems to be off her game lately. Usually she’s the zombie equivalent to a ball of energy when it comes to these projects, but lately she’s gone completely passive on me. It’s starting to scare me, and not in a good way. I admit to being more than a bit self-absorbed, but I can always tell when something is really wrong with one of my friends. I asked her what was wrong, and she said she was fine. I know better than to press her on it, or she’ll just retreat into her brain’s fortress of solitude and not come out for days. I suppose I’ll just wait until she’s ready to talk, but I really want her input. She’s my beast friend, and I want us to have fun together on this project. 

I told my mom I did not feel well today and stayed home from school. It was not a lie, but it was not because of a physical ailment, either. Cleo called me several times, but I chose not to answer my iCoffin. I mostly stayed in bed and then I thought maybe I really was getting sick since I did not feel like eating and could not generate enough excitement to read the newest issue of Dead Fast. Apparently my absence was noted, and the cavalry descended on my house after school. I heard the doorbell ring and then I heard the front door open. The voices of Cleo, Frankie, Lagoona, Draculaura and Clawdeen all called out to my mother, “We’re here!” I could smell the aroma of baking cookies drifting out of the kitchen - I thought she gave in to my request to stay home a little too easily. They all headed to the kitchen except for Cleo. I heard her heading down the hall toward my room - I knew it was Cleo because she has a very distinctive gait. She got to my door, knocked once and walked in. “All right, ghoul friend, what, in the name of Bast’s cats is going on with you?” I said nothing was wrong with me but Cleo was in one of her “royal moods”, and I could tell by the tone in her voice that she was going to pester me until I gave her an answer, so I did. I told her how I felt about my role on the project and how I was afraid that my intellectual abilities were the only reason that she and the rest of the ghouls wanted me around. Cleo just stood there staring at me with the strangest look in her eyes.

For a moment I could not decide if she was on the verge of being angry or sad. Then she simply spun on a heel, stepped to my door and yelled down the hall, “Ghoulia’s room - NOW!” The ghouls got to my room in a blink albeit with mouths full of freshly baked cookies. Cleo pointed at Frankie whose mouth seemed to be less full of cookie than the others, “Quickly, when you think of Ghoulia what’s the first thing that comes to mind?” Frankie sparked and said, “She’s kind and helpful!” Then Lagoona said I was “trustworthy and sincere”, Draculaura said I was “funny and sweet” and Clawdeen said I was “brave and determined.” Finally Cleo looked at me and said, “Notice anything in those descriptions that was missing?” I hung my head, a little embarrassed and a lot encouraged. “Now we are going back to the kitchen to eat more cookies, you could join us if you’re feeling up to it... oh and you better be in class tomorrow. We have a lot of work to do.” It turns out that my mother’s cookies are a miracle cure. Who knew? 

Now that Ghoulia is out of her funk, we’ve been able to make some progress. I found several trunks at home filled with jars of oils, extracts and spices. Nearly all of them are still labeled. Probably should be careful with the ones that are not... I seem to remember some were rather volatile when mixed with certain other ingredients. Unfortunately, I could not find any of my old recipes, so this will truly require real experimentation. 

Experiment Notes

Batch #1

Top notes of leather - old gym shoe leather - with a sweaty angst-like finish. It is a smell reminiscent of the odor that emanates from the boys’ locker room after summer football practices. FAIL

Batch #2

Complex floral notes of troll cabbage and broccoli with none too subtle undertones on burnt microwave popcorn. It was quite... breathtaking and also Mr. Hackington’s favorite. FAIL

Batch #3

It smelled like cheese at first then spoiled milk. Disgusting. FAIL

Batch #4 

A frightfully woodsy scent, mysterious yet approachable and our favorite by far. It also hardened in the beaker like cement. We may have discovered a way to create scented construction material but as a perfume - FAIL

Batch #5

Eau de Pit of Goblin Arm. FAIL

Batch #6

Two words - wet werewolf. FAIL

Batch #8

We used an unmarked bottle from Cleo’s collection. It was an odorless black elixir but when we mixed it with vanilla, juniper berry and patchouli oil it opened a portal to another dimension that sucked in half of our experiments before we could put a stopper in the beaker. Cleo blamed the patchouli. FAIL

BATCH #13

Lovely top, middle and base notes - check.

Accentuates rather than overopowers - check, check

Would we wear it ourselves? - check, check, check

Perfection!

Final Grade - A+

Best. Lab project. Ever.