#i am a slow editor when it comes to my own work forgive me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

soyouareandrewdobson · 4 years

Text

Alex ze Pirate Mini Review 3: About pacing and terrible dark revelations played as jokes.

And here we are at the second part of the arc, which was titled “Abandoned”. And just as a word in advance: While “Underappreciated” was mostly defined by the shitty behavior Sam experiences by his crew and how Dobson crossed comedic lines to the point Alex and her crew come off more as abusive than “funny” in the way they treat Sam or interact with their environment, this one is defined by another major issue Dobson has in his bigger stories overall: Pacing.

See, the right pacing in a story is really one of the most important basics a creator kinda has to grasp. He or she needs to know primarily the following things in relation to pacing, when planning out a story: What are major events/storypoints/key scenes I want to work towards to, what happens inbetween these points and at which speed do I get from point A to B, C etc.

Cause the truth is, a lot of stories out there follow certain tropes or expectations, particularly when they are part of a certain genre, so people more or less have ideas when a certain “point” is hit, what the next point, if not even the endpoint is going to be down the line. And people also kinda want to reach the endpoint of a story, particularly if they expect doing so will finally give the protagonists they care for (and the audience itself) some sort of satisfying conclusion.

The one thing you can now do however, which can in the worst scenario totally kill an audiences/readers enjoyment of the story and even break your creation apart, is get the pacing wrong. For example by unnecessarily dragging out your story instead of just getting to the point, especially when people just want to reach the next major beat, resulting in increased annoyance by them. This can e.g. be seen in a lot of fanfics when writers create damn arcs within their own shit, or (to give a professionally published work of fiction as example) the manga Bleach, when instead of fighting Aizen and his two major supporters directly, the “war” against him was unnecessarily dragged out by having e.g. a pointless flashback sequence that barely shed new light on certain characters and gave EVERY damn main and sub captain of the Shinigami a shot at some random villain/minion Tite Kubo created on the spot but no one cared about really, just to make the story arc run longer.

Obviously, the opposite can also be the case, where people just rush too fast from one point to the other instead of giving the audience time to even properly comprehend or explain what happened and why it happened. Which can get additionally frustrated, when by rushing through plot points the work of fiction gets overloaded with concepts and ideas that may on first glance look interesting, but don’t have any real payoff in the big picture of things, making it come off as pretentious in some cases and pointless overall. Like the movie Southland Tales, which deserves to be burned off the surface of the planet.

The “best” case scenario when pacing a story, is to know when you need to slow things down (give characters and the readers e.g. moments to breath and emotionally comprehend a situation they are in, giving also insight into a characters emotional state or personality) and when to speed things up (e.g. when there is a big battle, to know which moments are meant to focus on, but also when to be “faster”, giving really the impression that time is of the essence, that high stakes in a short amount of time are given and to hit a key event at the right moment to get a satisfying reaction from your audience)

And now, after giving a glance on my general opinion on pacing, in order to avoid me commiting the cardinal sin of dragging things out, lets just get to Dobson’s actual artwork.

As you can see, the chapter starts off again with the island, but this time now with Sam not part of the picture and its consequences (no one cleaning up the place in the morning). This is not really a bad thing to start the chapter of, primarily because it creates a nice contrast to the beginning of the first part.

Page 3 to 5 however…

Lets just say I get what Dobson tries to show here, but I think is exaggerated to a degree that kinda hurts the narrative; the fact that without Sam, shit does not quite get done.

The problem is the execution of the idea. See, instead of putting the fact Sam is missing into the forefront, the fact stuff has not been done is. Stuff the crew should be able to handle after a very short time of adjustment easily. I will admit, Talus suspecting they were robbed but then asked if he had also looked into the cabinets, is kinda funny. I mean, it fits the character (and sometimes people in real life) to be so adjusted to seeing a certain situation as routine every day, that when it is slighty changed they may initially assume the worst but in reality just one convenient step of the routine was left out. Less forgivable I think is the fact that seeing how Sam did the clothes the day prior, I have to wonder how dirty those guys are that already everything is left in piles of dirt to the point they have only the following alternative as wardrobe.

Halloween costumes.

…. Ok, why is there Halloween, and likely a modern day variant of its celebration, in a comic set in a fictional world compared to ours, in a time period it would not exactly exist anyway? Christ on a pogo stick, consistency is all I ask for. Oh and of course NOW they realize Sam is gone. Because they finally put together that their daily luxuries they took for granted are no longer available.

Hey now, Talus. You all are guilty of being terrible friends. In fact yu are so terrible, you would make Twilight Sparkle vomit at the sight of yours. Also, why of all characters are you wearing a costume? Unlike those two bitches, you still had clean clothes on a few pages ago. Speaking of bitches, Atea in the middle panel looks readyto be edited in a cumshot video. Just saying for all those “creative” editors out there.

YAY! Lets get our slave back so he can do all the stuff we care about but do not want to do.

Seriously, if Dobson tries to convince us they want to get him back because they care for him as a person, he fails miserably. Both by the choice of wording in this page, where Atea and Talus react angrier about the fact that without Sam things don’t work smoothly, rather than concern about his well being, as well as any behavior expressed in the previous chapter. These people are not reacting like friends in worry, they act like spoiled brats. Especially Talus who could still get his stupid burgers if he, as the cook of the crew, would just do his job. All he has to do is additionally open a few cabinets. Also, where in the heck is Uncle Peggy? Oh just go to the next pages so we are getting this over with.

Oh great, the lolcat pirates are back. Because they were so hilarious the first time. And look, they got defeated again. And what is their contribution to the story? To give information on where Sam may have gone.

And it is here now where I have to stop and come back to the pacing issue. Cause the last ten pages here? They are a good example of what I meant with rushed pacing and how it ruins things.

Once more I need to say, I get it. I get the major points Dobson wants to get across. That a) Sam is gone that b) without him things are not all that good for the crew anymore c) they decide they want to find him d) they get information of where he is by going after the one feline that can provide a potential hint. Four major story points Dobson wants to get across. And he is free to get them across. But the way he does it, is just way too fast. Neither the characters, nor the reader really gets time to comprehend that Sam is gone and what that means aside of the surface level loss of luxury Alex and Co are now experiencing. The emotional weight of Sam’s “loss” is pushed aside for the sake of cruising through the plot defined by its surface premise, as fast as possible. And considering that the meat of this story is supposed to be how much Sam means to the others as a person as well as his personal tragedy, intend and execution, thanks to this pacing, does not compute.

Pacing and overall structure are way off and fail to engage us in addition to just killing any suspense in what is going to happen next or surprise us in an interesting fashion. In other words, I am not entertained by this story. It is not funny, it is not sad, it is not “adventurous”.

Personally, I would suggest to actually use the “premise” of those ten pages and turn them at least into two independent chapters of this story overall, to give the premise actually some meat on the bone. The first chapter being a multipager with the crew realizing Sam is gone first BEFORE realizing that without him their luxuries are gone (putting also emphasize this way on the fact they care for Sam also more as a person instead of just the things he does for them) and then once they realize he is missing, deciding to go after him. Only to realize that when they want to prepare themselves for the task (getting their gear together as well as lunch e.g.) that everything is dirty or damaged because Sam normally takes care of it. Leading to a sequence of them having to experience doing Sam’s work for once, making them already there indirectly in part realize what he all does they took for granted.

The second chapter would then be them on the sea, trying to think of where to look at and eventually stumbling upon the cat pirates. Only instead of defeating them easily this time and getting the information, expectations are subverted and the cats actually fight back first, leading to a more hilarious confrontation where Alex and her crew can actually also show how they can be funny and badass, instead of Dobson just always “talking” and trying to convince us they are cool. And look, I do not expect a multi chapter One Piece like battle against the cat captain who turns out to be a master of Scratch Jutzu or something the moment he sniffs catnip. But please, give me something in this story. Some conflict, some diversion, something for characters to actually do that shows they can be badass, funny and awesome. Something that is as cartoony as Dobson likes to claim Alex ze Pirate is, but has never shown in its entirety.

Instead we get to this page, where of all characters Talus is the one who finally seems to realize how he and others took Sam for granted.

And again, even this page is a good example of terrible pacing. Cause this realization, now shoved in within this and the next page? It would mean so much more if it happened in parts somewhere else in this story before or after, slowly to everyone stepwise. Cause then it would actually feel like a “development” of a chain of thoughts and internal realizations. Instead it is half heartedly thrown in all at once in those pages, to get the point across that NOW Sam’s “friends” finally realize, they took him always for granted.

Congratulations on realizing that you are the real scum in this story. What do you expect from me now? To give you hugs and feel pity for you like you are characters in Steven Universe, all because you had an epiphany? You do not deserve mine or any readers sympathy, just because NOW you feel bad for your terrible behavior. Cause if I did, it would just feel rewarding in a certain manner. And you do not deserve a reward. You have to make things up first or at the very least put in some sort of effort to show me, that you are not just feeling bad, but are willing to change for the better. Otherwise you are in the future still just the same toxic abusers you were two pages ago.

... man, that really felt like me already venting at Steven Universe.

Anyway, we have reached the town where Sam is from…

And it looks NOTHING at all like the artwork from Legends implied parts of the town to look like

Where are the badly drawn docks? The houses that imply this is not just a small village on the beach but an actual small town? The twon square where they sell underaged boys as slaves? Jesus Christ, what is the orphanage going to look li-

Nevermind. The orphanage is crushed. And all the people that lived in it are dead.

... WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU, DOBSON! This is genuinely a sick joke here. Look, I am all for black and dark comedy myself, but this feels cruel. I need to remind you, Alex ze Pirate in Dobson’s eyes was also meant to be a comic for all ages. Meaning something also little kids should be able to read and enjoy. Pushing aside how much of that would be bullshit by the shitton of sexist and sex jokes in other strips of the comic alone, this here is not the kind of joke I would like to see a little kid being exposed to when reading any form of story.

Look, I am not saying you can’t make fun about death. But Death is also a major part of life, which many of us are already being exposed to at an early age. And I think it is important that when we talk about death as a subject in a story for kids, we should actually address it in a “mature” manner the kid may understand. That death, as in the genuine loss of a life and not e.g. an awesome interpretation of the Grim Reaper as written by Terry Pratchett, is tragic. That it means permanently losing someone you or someone else loves. That when talking about it, we should talk about it in a serene manner. And there have been great kids stories who tackled the subject directly or indirectly. A Land Before Time for example, the loss of Littlefoots mother and how he “copes” with it while the majority of the plot still focuses on an adventure to find the Great Valley… that is great. But this thing here that Dobson does? To create a shocking revelation and then sell it as a joke based on the fact that Alex, Atea and Talus react with jawdrops to it? It is not handling the death of those children with any form of gravitas in a story that supposedly is meant to be emotional and play with your heartstrings. And yes, we know nothing about those kids, they are essentially non entities to further the plot. But in context of the story, you have to consider, those kids that are “unimportant” to the reader? For the character of Sam, those people were family. At page 14, we as readers start to realize what Sam finding this locket and going back to his hometown only to find out everyone he knew is dead must mean for him. We, people with even an ounce of empathy and understanding how tragedies should be in part written realize, that shit just hit the fan for Sam and that the story should genuinely focus on how Sam would deal with such a tragedy. But does Dobson treat this revelation with any grace or dignity? NOPE!

It is just a bunch of information dropped on us randomly by an old guy who (I guess similar to Dobson) does not even care that kids died. They are just a plotdevice. Oh and also most of those kids died of an infectious disease where most people die of dehydration after literally shitting non stop. Just to add additional gravity and dignity to the loss of prepubescent lives that should count as Sam’s siblings.

You know, I have to change my opinion on Alex. She is not the worst abuser of Sam. The worst person to ever abuse Sam is Andrew Dobson himself. Cause at least Alex did not kill his extended “family”. And to think this “children comic” was written by the same guy who made a “So you are a Cartoonist” strip where he talked about how kids media can tell more mature comics with more gravitas than live action stuff and novels meant for people that aren’t just children, young adults or mentally stucked manchildren. Dobson, after this page you have no right to call your stuff “appropriate for children” or mature anymore.

I am genuinely furious at this page right now as that I can go on. So here, have the last page of this chapter so I can wrap this up and enjoy some good forms of fiction…

Well Atea, everyone he knew from this village and potentially cared about died in an house collapsing with no one having removed the remains still and he is going on a cemetery. UNLIKE DOBSON WHEN WRITING THIS, USE YOUR BRAIN YOU INSULT TO LESBIANS!

#Andrew Dobson #adobsonartwork #syac #alex ze pirate #sam the cabin boy #fuck you tom preston #tom preston #webcomic #comics #comic review #talus #atea #loss #so you are a cartoonist

49 notes · View notes

duratrans · 4 years

Text

Satoshi Mizukami Q&A, 3/3

Satoshi Mizukami recently took questions from the editor's desk, and publicly from write-ins, for an interview to celebrate the first volume of Solte going on sale (Jan 9th!). So I translated them all! It’s in three parts, so I’ll post them one by one.

Here is the third and final section, general questions of all kinds.

Q: I heard you were pretty impressed by Masakazu Ishiguro's Hero (note: Debut work in Gekkan Afternoon, 2000), and when you met him you said "You're my rival!" right to his face! Is there anyone that comes to mind you would still consider your professional rival today? A: Oof. I don't think I have that spirit in me any more. But, even while myself and so many of my friends are starting to slow down, when I see them putting out work, I do feel encouraged to stick it out.

Q: I've heard you started working to become a manga artist because you "wanted to live in a fantasy world" yourself. If you really could jump into a fictional world, what kind of work would it be? Who would you be in the story? The main character, or maybe the last boss? A: I want to live in a porno game. Somewhere with no danger or fighting.

Q: From any medium, can you think of one piece that you liked the most or inspired you? And can you explain why? A: There's probably too many to try and pick just one, but in terms of what really influenced me; For manga, late 90's Shonen Sunday and early 2000's Afternoon. Then, 90's new-wave light novels. For anime, Diebuster. In film, La Puta. A handful of Sega Saturn games. Some scifi stories on forums, and a bunch of other works on Shosetsu-ka ni Narou.

Q: What have you seen/read/played more recently that you liked the best? And can you tell us what you liked? A: Manga: Touge Oni. It was the first thing I read in a while that made me jealous. In books, The Three-Body Problem. I liked the second of the trilogy best, but they were just good page-turners. For anime, Karakuri Circus. The manga ended long enough ago that it felt like going in fresh again, so it hit just right. Really liked the OP too. Film: Interstellar. Tenet wasn't great, so I rewatched this again and still good. It's exactly the kind of movie I was wanting. Games: Ring Fit. I had the idea if I got a little bit in shape, I might get some motivation back. I feel like it might be working? Just the teensiest, slightest bit. Light novels: I Am the Only One Who Knows This World Is a Game. It's just the right amount of bonkers.

Q: If you had ultimate freedom to do any kind of manga you wanted, what would it be like? Would you want a long series, or something shorter? -Ruha A: I was going to say I haven’t exactly had any restrictions, but actually a few things did come up with Solte. But even still, I can fit in any ideas I really want to draw, so I think things are pretty good as they are.

Q: If you had to put yourself in a genre, what kind of manga artist do you think you are? Sci-fi? Or maybe romance? -Takeshi A: I'm a little surprised to see "romance", even as an example. If you ask me, you can categorize me however you want.

Q: Which character are you most attached to, out of all of your works? -Habu A: Anima from Biscuit Hammer.

Q: When you're designing your characters, how do you come up with a good balance when it comes to the composition and relationships in the cast? -Yoneko A: Oh, man. I just kinda... Feel it out.

Q: I've been a big fan of your work forever! I really like your drawing style. How do you make your art the way you do? -gum A: I dunno, that's just how it turns out when I draw. I've been telling myself "Wow, I need to work on my art" for 19 years, since the day I was first published.

Q: Has raising a child had any effect on your stories? -Tai A: It means I work less.

Q: I want to draw manga too, but I'm not very confident in my skills. Do you have any advice? -Tai Arima A: First, do you mean you're not satisfied yourself with the quality of your work, or you're just not confident enough to put it out there? Don't worry, this is always a fundamental issue for creators, things rarely come out just how you imagine them. It's like how you can only print out photos at a resolution as sharp as your camera can capture them. I recommend you start by just making something. Sit down, do it, and finish it, and you'll learn a lot from it. It'll be up to you whether you show that around, but when you start, I wouldn't necessarily make a big deal out of it, you can just work on it quietly without making a big announcement. That way, there's no pressure, and if it's not working out, you can still stop or take a break without feeling bad about it. You decide how to use your time the best.

Q: When I went to a promo event for Planet With at Loft, you and Rensuke Oshikiri (Hi Score Girl) both talked about how as you get older, you find it harder and harder to stay motivated. Have you found anything that helps you in that regard? -Tayu A: I listed to some cheerful music for a while last week and actually found it helped my mood a little.

Q: I love how expressive all of your characters are! Is there anything particular in your process for when you are working on faces and expressions? -Arbel A: I have to be careful I don't go overboard making the same expression I'm drawing.

Q: I write for a hobby, but I always have trouble planning out how the story comes together. Do you have any advice or a favorite method for composing a story? -Nigou A: I read and re-read what I've got, and anywhere I think it's getting dull, I change the scene or add some exciting development. Make the last thing you think would happen, happen. And don't worry about how to tidy everything up, that's a problem for tomorrow you. Today you just has to lay it out.

Q: Hello, Sensei. I've read all your works, and I'm a big fan, but what really impresses me is your dialog. I love how it always just flows off the page, it reads so naturally. So, my question is, when you are writing the dialog, do you just hear it unfold naturally in the character's voices, or do you write more deliberately like "oh, here they would probably say this?" That probably sounds weird to people who've never written manga, but I'd like to know about your process. P.S. Good luck with the Ring Fit grind. -Kiki A: First I decide how the dialog needs to play out in order to advance the story in the direction I want. Then, I just let the characters talk among themselves, and if it doesn't turn out right, I go back, shake things up, and try again. And sometimes I get good material, but it just needs to be trimmed or re-arranged just right.

Q: A lot of your stories have some sort of turning point where the back half really kicks it up a notch and things just keep getting more intense. Do you already have these developments planned when you start a manga? -TKO A: I usually have a few ideas but it's always pretty vague. I never know if I'm gonna wind up putting in or cutting certain scenes, so I don't worry about it too much.

Q: Do you have one favorite scene or a particular line from your own work? -yamatozo A: At the beginning of Spirit Circle volume 6, where the bad guy falls down the stairs and goes "I've made a lot of missteps".

Q: Do you have any idea of what genre you'd like to draw next? -Umehoshi A: I won't say no, but I don't want to give anything away (for my next work, or this one).

Q: If you weren't successful as a manga artist, where do you think you would be? -Ayuta A: Jail. But I'd be a model prisoner.

Q: How much longer do you think you'd like to continue as a manga artist? -Ayuta A: If I could pay the bills for the rest of my life with 24 pages a month, that's just what I'd do. At some point maybe I'll get to be unsatisfied with that and start to push myself to work more and more until I get sick of it, but no telling when that might come.

Q: How do you think of your character's names? -Takeshi A: They just come to me. I look at how I designed the characters and just imagine.

Q: I feel like some kind of forgiveness or absolution is something a lot of your characters go through. Does "forgiveness" have a special significance to you? -Bow-wow A: I'm not sure. Maybe it's me who is seeking forgiveness.

Q: Do you have a favorite phrase or motto? A: I like Shigeru Mizuki's (Gegege no Kitaro) 7 Rules of Being Happy. I don't really go around saying them or anything, but it's something I like to remind myself of, and helps me be mindful of other people. Also, I like "fortune favors the bold."

Q: You like frogs enough that you always draw yourself as one. What do you like about frogs? And do you have a favorite species? A: Frogs are cute. I like green tree frogs the best.

Q: You've drawn a lot of different youkai in Sengoku Youko, but out of all the youkai that most people know from stories, which is your favorite? Could it be the Chan Chu (chinese money toad), or possibly the oogama (monstrous giant toad)? A: My favorite youkai is Mizuki Shigeru.

Q: You've been doing Ring Fit, and eating oatmeal, are you doing anything else to help stay in shape? A: I put the Karakuri Circus season one and season two OP on a playlist and listen to it while I walk to work.

Q: If you were stranded all alone on a deserted island, what are the three things you would want to have with you? A: Really? Okay. I would bring two essential tools I can't find on an island, and a map.

Q: Do you have a favorite actor or celebrity? -Umehoshi A: Nope.

Q: What's the best kind of alcohol and snacks you've had? Where did you drink it? -Ikaninjin A: In the middle of a hellish summer and probably suffering from heatstroke at an amusement park with my kid, I had the best beer of my life in an air-conditioned food court. And the delicious spice to top it off was the bright sun knifing through the window that I just knew was tormenting everyone still outside.

Q: What do you want to be when you grow up? -Ayuta A: A youkai.

Q: What does your internal mindscape look like? -Rou A: An empty lot.

Q: Has anything happened recently that you're happy about? -Sanachan A: My son is starting to read and write.

Q: What kind of hotpot are you looking forward to this winter? -Tommy A: I'm not crazy about hotpot.

Q: I'd like to go to another event where we can toast again, would you consider it?

-Uta

A: If current events allow.

Q: How many times have you thought about quitting Ring Fit? -Honyarara A: 2 or 3 times. A week.

Q: I know you call it your "100-day Ring Fit Diary" on twitter, but since you've been taking breaks too, will you be going past 100? Will the illustrations be collected and published anywhere? -The Dieting Gentleman A: I'm going until I clear adventure mode, but it'll probably be finished by the time this article is up. I'll probably do some sets here and there. No plans for the illustrations.

Q: Do you have a favorite panel out of all your works? -Umehoshi A: You guys are really focused on my favorite everything. I have a lot of panels I like, not one in particular.

Q: Hi, I really enjoy all of your works, and there's one thing I think I notice (sorry if I'm wrong), and that's a love of glasses girls. Out of your manga so far, which is your favorite of all your glasses girls? Do you have a particular girl you've become a fan of recently? As for myself, I really like Yoru from Sanjin Sadou, so I'd love to see a story with her and her sister! -Bashi A: Glasses girls aren't particularly a thing for me.

Q: When you're doing authographs or sketches, does it bother you at all if people request characters from your past works? If I get a chance, I would probably ask for Hyou Shimaki from Biscuit Hammer, for instance. -Akasha A: If it's a promo event for a Mag Garden title, and you were to ask for a character from a Gahosha title, for instance, it might technically bump up against merchandising contracts, which makes it a little weird (I'm typically not allowed to to create any merchandise without going through the publisher), but my managing editors are usually cool enough about it. But if it's specifically a Sengoku Youko event, for instance, and I'm constantly getting asked for Biscuit Hammer drawings (let's say more than half), that would probably be an issue and they might make a rule against it for next time. Also, I tend to forget how the older characters actually looked. For personal reasons, I probably won't be doing any in-person events like this for a while, though. There's also the whole "current state of the world" thing, and my profitability and if bookstores actually want to do it, a lot of issues to solve.

Q: You usually draw Anima working out on Twitter, but did you have plans for any other characters to show up doing Ring Fit? (Like from Angel or Sanjin) -RYO A: I did, but forgot.

Q: Will you put together another oneshot collection, like Geko Geko? -Friday A: I don't know.

Q: Question! What is love? -Shirae A: To live is to love.

Q: How about this, do you have any questions you want to ask your readers? -Buriki A: Would you rather have: A. One series a month, from roughs to completion, all done by me B: Two series a month, with roughs by me and final touches by someone else

Q: I know thinking positive is half the battle, but what can I do about people who're determined to get me down? Can I give them a Samidare Punch? -Nondakure A: Your fist, and the choice of how to use it, belongs to you alone.

#mizukami satoshi #satoshi mizukami

7 notes · View notes

lavenderlattaes · 4 years

Text

let’s get married. | kim seokjin

⇒ summary: it’s no secret to your friends that sneaking into wedding receptions for the buffet table has been an ongoing tradition between you and your best friend, kim seokjin. but what happens when your friends get engaged? you become their wedding planners. and, let’s also not forget about the fact that you’re both in love with each other, so maybe all the wedding planning has gotten the best of you.

⇒ [ friends to lovers! au, wedding crashers turned wedding planners! au ]

⇒ pairing: kim seokjin x female reader

⇒ word count: 11.4k words

⇒ genre: fluff

⇒ warnings: like, one or two swear words and an excessive use of the word stupid/dumb, just me being absolutely in love w kim seokjin so this is me imagining what it would be like to end up w him lmao (send help) this may or may not be a slow burn but idk how slow burn fics work so

⇒ note: hello and after an entire decade (lol jk) i am back w a bts fic! I feel like i’ve only been writing for txt lately so here’s a long ass seokjin fic for you guys! I’m a lil bit rusty so please forgive me in advance. without further ado, ignore mistakes bc im a bit of a blind bat and enjoy! ＼ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ／

“Saturday, 10 am, at the hotel near the publishing house,” Seokjin throws a pastel pink cocktail dress at you, and you groan at his actions, pushing the freshly dry-cleaned dress away as you directed your attention to a rerun of your latest drama that aired last night. Being an editor for a magazine had its perks, that’s for sure, but you absolutely abhorred the times when you’d have to work overtime and miss your dramas.

“Who’s getting married?” You ask, popping popcorn in your mouth as your roommate slash best friend, Kim Seokjin plops down onto the couch beside you, grabbing a handful of popcorn for himself.

“I don’t know them personally of course, but I heard they’re Jeongguk’s friends from college,” Seokjin shrugs and you choke on your popcorn.

Seokjin turns to you worried, and pats your back comfortingly as you take exaggerated coughs. When he realizes this, he rolls his eyes and goes back to looking at the tv.

“Jeongguk’s friends?! So they’re his age?” You sputter and Seokjin can merely sigh. “Unfortunately, so. We’re definitely gonna end up alone with about fifty cats.” You snort at his statement, folding your legs underneath you.

“Firstly, we’re not that old. We’re just older than Gguk by what, five years? And secondly, you’re not gonna end up alone because you have me, and you don’t even have a single cat.” You point out the facts and Seokjin looks up in thought before shrugging.

“You’re right. Besides, I’m too good looking to end up alone.” He proudly states. You can only nod in agreement.

“What are they having for their lunch?” You return the topic to the next wedding you’ll be crashing and Seokjin shrugs.

“I don’t know. I’ll have to ask Jeongguk because I think he knows.”

Most of the time, you didn’t exactly get caught when you pretended to be on the guest list and act like you knew the couple despite having a few loose ends; you were just that much of good actors. You’ve known Seokjin all throughout college and you know how good he is at acting too, despite being a business major. He once told you that if it were up to him, he wouldn’t even be taking up business if he didn’t have to inherit his dad’s company. He wanted to be an actor, or at least have any job related to the field.

You hum in response. “Can’t believe kids younger than us are actually getting married before us,” Seokjin speaks up after a while, and you snort. He still hasn’t moved on from it, apparently.

“You’re gonna find someone to marry soon,” you reassure your best friend and he only shrugs.

It’s the day of the wedding, and you’ve both managed to sneak in — again, and you’re both enjoying the food by the buffet table while couples danced in the middle.

“Hyung!” You hear a familiar voice and both you and Seokjin stop munching on the chocolate truffles to find the owner of the voice.

It’s Jeon Jeongguk.

He grins mischievously at the both of you, and gives you a hug as he squeezes himself in between you both. You feed him a truffle and he gladly accepts, his cheeks puffing out as he chews on the sweet dessert happily.

He swallows the bits of the truffle before turning to Seokjin. “I see you’ve managed to sneak yourselves in, again.” Jeongguk laughs and you let out a scoff. “It was easier this time, actually. Turns out Jin actually somewhat knows the groom so we managed to play it cool with a few facts about him,” you shrug and Jeongguk raises an eyebrow.

“Really?” He looks at Seokjin in disbelief and the older boy grins proudly. “You have so little faith in your hyung, you know? You underestimate me,” he pats the younger boy on the back and Jeongguk shakes his head, a twinkle in his eye.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you guys would end up together,” he comments and you and Seokjin both choke on your food as Jeongguk giggles, snatching another truffle and stuffing it in his mouth.

“See you later, guys!” he turns around and runs back to the dance floor where he starts breaking out into dance when he sees his friends. You turn around fully, watching Jeongguk in the middle, when your eyes flit over to the couple. You observe the gentle way the groom held onto the bride’s waist as they danced, the way he looked at her with so much love, and you can’t help but sigh.

Seokjin turns around after swallowing his fifth - or probably sixth - cream puff, glancing at you before following your line of sight. “What’s with the sigh, dork?” He bumps his shoulder with yours and you break out of your trance, turning to look at him. He looks at you curiously and you break eye contact to take a sip of your wine.

“Am I ever going to get married? I’m almost 30 and I haven’t dated anyone since college,” you state worriedly, and Seokjin stares at you long enough to see if you were joking or not.

You weren’t.

When you don’t hear a reply from your best friend, you turn back to look at him again. “You okay?” You ask and Seokjin looks at you for a while longer before shaking his head. “You’re gonna find someone who’s gonna love you for you, I’m sure of that.” He ends up saying and gives you a close lipped smile. You chuckle and sip on your wine again. Seokjin follows your movements before turning back to the floor where Jeongguk was already leading a train with his other college buddy, Kim Yugyeom.

With his own glass of wine just close to his lips, Seokjin whispers, “If you don’t find anyone by then, you’ll have me, at least.”

ii.

“Hey, how was the business trip?” You greet from your spot on the couch, typing on your laptop as you hear the door open. Seokjin’s suitcases land on the ground with a soft thud. You soon feel his lips plant a small kiss on the top of your head before ruffling your hair.

“Tiring, but I think we got the investors to go with our proposal. We’re gonna find out by the end of week,” Seokjin finally speaks up, walking over to the kitchen where he grabs a bottle of water. You stop typing and decide that your article can wait until tomorrow. You close your laptop and stand up to grab some food in the cupboard, knowing all Seokjin needed after a long business trip was to watch movies and eat until the early hours of the morning.

“Let’s go out for some pizza,” Seokjin announces and you stop in your attempt to climb a chair and open the top cupboard. “Aren’t you tired? You just got back,” you ask him, and he shrugs. “I’m craving for pizza right now. Let’s just go out for dinner then come back.”

You plop down on the chair you were supposed to stand on and pull your legs up. “Then we can just order in some pizza then,” you propose and Seokjin pouts at you. “I wanna go out, I’ve been so cooped up in offices and cars lately,” he whines. You stare at him and he just pushes his lips even more and you hate the fact that when he’s trying to be cute, you can’t resist him.

“Ah, whatever. Let me go get changed,” you stand up and Seokjin claps his hands triumphantly. “Tonight’s dinner is on me!” He calls after you and you laugh, climbing the stairs to your room. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever,” you shout back, waving a hand dismissively.

“I thought we were just going to have dinner?” You ask in confusion as Seokjin suddenly drives to the boardwalk after receiving a text. “What are we doing here?” The car comes to a stop and Seokjin looks at you. “Someone’s going to propose tonight, remember?” Your eyes widen in realization.

“Wait, Yoongi’s going to propose tonight?! I thought it was next week,” you mentally facepalm. Seokjin unbuckles his seatbelt and turns the car off. “Me too, but I got a text from Namjoon asking where we were. Apparently, we were supposed to help them set up hours ago,” he says and the both of you get out.

Shutting the car door, you run around to Seokjin’s side as you both hurriedly make your way to the beach. “Ugh, I feel so bad now. Yoongi’s proposing to my best friend and I was stupid enough to forget,” you sigh and Seokjin pats your shoulder. “We were both busy, so they’ll understand.” You both make it in time to see Namjoon asking your other friends to get into their positions. Hoseok notices the both of you approaching and laughs.

“Where have you guys been? Hopefully not at some wedding again,” Hoseok teases and Namjoon turns around to greet you both.

“You’ve got a wedding about to happen in a few months right here where you don’t have to actually sneak in and you don’t even show up on time?” He adds and the younger guys laugh.

“You think about food way too much,” Jimin pipes up and you both groan. “We were busy with work, don’t make us look that bad,” You whine and they all laugh.

“Okay, okay. Y/N, you can take care of the lights, and Jin hyung, you can go give us the signal when Yoongi and Y/F/N walk past your hiding spot.” Namjoon instructs and you both nod, going over to your spots.

“Hey, when am I going to give the go signal?” Seokjin asks and Namjoon’s about to answer when Taehyung suddenly speaks up, “Guys, they’re almost here!” “Quick, hide!” Namjoon calls out and all of you get ready in your hiding spots.

“Wait, wait-” Seokjin shuts up when all the lights go off and he can hear the sounds of footsteps approaching.

“Yoongi…” the soft voice of Y/F/N dies in the air and Seokjin can see their footsteps move past him.

“Y/F/N, we’ve been together since college. You’ve been my best friend for a longer time, and I’ve always known that it was always you,” Yoongi begins and Seokjin got so focused on Yoongi’s words - his friend is being so expressive right now, when did this happen? - that he forgot to give the go signal. The place was still dark and Yoongi was already down on his knee.

“Y/F/N, will you raise Min Holly with me and stay up writing songs with me? Will you make me the happiest man and marry me?”

It’s only then that Seokjin suddenly breaks out of his trance and panics, giving the go signal, just as you manage to realize what’s already going on and turn the lights on as Hoseok plays the music and Taehyung and Jeongguk start taking pictures, all a little too late. Y/F/N jumps in surprise at the sudden flash of lights and the music that started playing. Jimin plays the surprise video a little too late and Namjoon pops the confetti way too early.

In conclusion, you guys were terrible friends and ruined the perfect proposal Yoongi had planned in his head for weeks. Y/F/N looks around and despite the fact that for Yoongi it looked absolutely terrible, her eyes only saw how much Yoongi loves her. Her eyes started to water and she turned back to Yoongi, smiling down at Yoongi who had his head down, thinking that he probably ruined his chances of marrying the only girl he loves.

“Min Yoongi, look at me,” she whispers softly and all of you managed to tone down the chaotic mess you created. Hoseok turned the volume down a bit and Jeongguk started to film the moment instead, while Taehyung turned the flash off.

“I’m sorry, it wasn’t supposed to go like this, I promise everything was carefully planned out, I- I don’t know what happened and I know it’s a mess but -”

“Yoongi.” Y/F/N giggles and Yoongi looks up at her. His eyes widen and his mouth is slightly agape as he sees tears in her eyes. “Yes.”

“Wait, what?” Yoongi tilts his head in confusion and your best friend lets out a watery chuckle. “I said yes, Yoongi. Yes, I’m going to raise Min Holly with you, yes, I’m going to stay up late and write songs with you, yes, I’m going to make you the happiest man. Yes, I’m going to marry you.” She finishes, and pulls Yoongi up to stand.

“Wait, are you serious?” Yoongi asks again and she hits his shoulder weakly. Her tears fall and she laughs, “Of course, you’re crazy for thinking I won’t spend the rest of my life with you. You’re not getting rid of me that easily,” she starts crying now and your tears start to well up with happiness for the couple. Yoongi slips the ring on her finger before pulling her into a tight hug.

Seokjin is the first to clap and everyone follows, hoots and cheers coming from the younger boys. You start clapping too, wiping the tears away as you cheered for the engaged couple. When Yoongi and Y/F/N pull away from the hug, they turn to look around and all of you come out of your hiding spots to properly congratulate them.

You dash over to Y/F/N and she looks at you in surprise before pulling you in for a hug. “You’re part of this too?” she squeals and you chuckle. “Apparently,” you shrug your shoulders and hug her tighter. “I’m so happy for you and Yoongi,” you coo and she smiles as the two of you pull away from the hug.

“Alright, alright. Now, who messed up my proposal?” Yoongi calls out and the laughter dies down a bit as Seokjin sheepishly raises his hand up. Yoongi’s eyes widen.

“Hyung? I thought it would be Jeongguk or any of the maknaes!” Yoongi exclaims in disbelief and the younger boys start to protest.

“Hey, if you must know, I was the first to arrive here!” Jimin speaks up.

“I came right after Jimin did! I knew what to do too,” Taehyung pipes in.

“I’m in charge of taking pictures so I definitely wouldn’t be late! Besides, Seokjin hyung and Y/N almost didn’t make it because they forgot!” Jeongguk exposes the both of you and the couple turns to you.

You raise your hands up. “Hey, again, we were busy with work,” you try to reason and Yoongi waves his hand dismissively. Y/F/N giggles, nudging you playfully as you wrinkle your nose at her.

“You guys were probably eating at home again!” Yoongi accuses you both and you sputter out excuses.

“No, we weren’t!” “We went out for pizza because Seokjin didn’t want to order which means you’re lucky we were out and were just around the area!”

“Oh, so you guys went on a date?” Y/F/N raises an eyebrow and you stop trying to explain yourself as Seokjin stops talking as well.

Jimin pulls you to stand beside Seokjin and you almost stumble, but he manages to catch you and steadies you by the shoulders. Your friends all turn to look at the two of you with curious eyes.

“So,” Hoseok smirks. “Is there something we don’t know about you guys?” Namjoon asks. “Do you, maybe, I don’t know, wanna share something with us?” Hoseok adds.

“Are you guys dating?” Taehyung wastes no time in beating around the bush, causing yours and Seokjin’s eyes to widen.

“WHAT!? No, we’re not!” you both say at the same time and everyone breaks out into laughter. You start to fan yourself, your face heating up. Seokjin looks away, causing the guys to laugh even more, as his actions only expose his red ears.

“You guys seem pretty bothered by it,” Yoongi comments and you stop fanning as Seokjin faces them again.

Before you can say anything, Seokjin beats you to it. “There’s nothing going on, okay? We just went out for dinner. We were supposed to go home right after but then Namjoon reminded us about the surprise that we completely forgot about because again, we were busy with work, so that’s why we were late and I didn’t know when to give the signal and that’s how I messed up your proposal,” Seokjin explains.

The boys turn to look at each other, laughing lightly, and Seokjin stares at them as your eyes stay fixed on Y/F/N who was whispering something in Yoongi’s ear, giggling quietly. Yoongi nods and grins as his eyes glance at the two of you.

“Y/F/N and I have agreed on something,” Yoongi speaks up and everyone quiets down.

“To make up for tonight, the two of you have to help us with the wedding preparations.” Yoongi proclaims and your mouth drops open.

“Yah, why? I’m going to be really busy starting this month! Father’s going to hand over the company next year and there’s still so much to do!” Seokjin complains.

“And I have a lot of schedules set for this month! There’s so many deadlines to do!” You add in.

“Firstly, you guys are gonna have important roles at our wedding. Y/N, you’re obviously going to be my maid of honor. And Seokjin, didn’t you have a rock-paper-scissors battle with Hoseok for best man when I first told you guys that I was gonna propose?” Yoongi points out.

You both shut up.

“And secondly, who knows how to handle weddings the most than the two of you? You know what kind of food goes well together, right? You know all the best venues in Korea, and I’m sure you guys can take care of a lot of stuff, considering how you’re used to hectic lifestyles anyway,” Y/F/N adds.

Hoseok bursts out in laughter, making the others laugh as well as you chuckle weakly.

“I guess you’re right,” you give in and Seokjin scratches the back of his neck. “Well, I guess we can make our schedules work somehow.” Y/F/N claps her hands excitedly.

“Great! You guys are meeting up with us tomorrow, okay? Make time for us around 3-5 pm,” Y/F/N informs you and you turn to look at Seokjin. The guy can only shrug and offer you a small smile, making you grin at his actions.

Wedding crashers turned wedding planners, huh?

iii.

For the past two months, you and Seokjin have been meeting up with Y/F/N and Yoongi to help out with the upcoming wedding which was set to happen in three months. Which also meant that you hardly got to crash other weddings OR have marathons with each other.

“I’m going with Y/F/N to fit her wedding gown today,” you explain as Seokjin eyes you all dressed up early on a Saturday. He hands you your cup of coffee which was made just the way you liked it, not too sweet, not too bitter. You sit down across from him on the table as he eats a spoonful of cereal. “How about you? Any plans with Yoongi today?” you ask, before taking a sip of your coffee.

He plays with his spoon before putting it down, leaning back in his seat. “I’m supposed to go look for a suit with him too, but I have to go meet with some of the stockholders with Dad today. He really wants me to go with him but I’m not sure if I’ll make it on time so I told him to ask the other guys.”

You nod and finish your coffee, standing up to bring it to the sink. “You go ahead, I’ll wash it for you,” Seokjin tells you and you grin.

“This is why I’ve always loved living with you,” you comment. “Don’t mention it,” he replies casually as you go back upstairs. You almost make it to your room when your exchange suddenly registers in your head. You pause and turn back around, debating if you should correct yourself or not. The reasonable part of yourself assures you that Seokjin thinks nothing of it anyway and you turn back around again.

Meanwhile, Seokjin’s thinking heavily about your words, even long after you’ve left the apartment.

“Hm, nope not that one,” you say, leaning back against the velvet cushions, as Y/F/N groans and goes back inside the dressing room. You laugh and she whines, “Why are you deciding for me? You’re not the one getting married.”

“Remember what you asked me two months ago? ‘Who knows how to handle weddings the most than the two of you?’ You have complete faith in me, don’t you, Y/F/N?” You tease her and she shuffles out of the dressing room again as you check a text message on your phone.

“This better be good, because we’ve been here for the past four - wow,” you’re cut off when you look up at her. The dress was beautiful and the fact that it perfectly embodied Y/F/N’s personality made it look stunning. It hugged her body in all the right places and it was both parts stylish and sophisticated. Wordlessly, you made her turn around and she obeyed you, feeling a little anxious at your reaction.

“What? Do you not like it?” Y/F/N finally asks and you look at her directly, tearing your eyes away from the gown. You give her your brightest smile. “You look beautiful. It’s this one, you should get this one.”

She lets out a relieved laugh, telling the boutique assistant she’ll get the gown. “That’s the most sensible thing you’ve said to me the whole day. I thought you were going to say something like, ‘wow, you clean up nicely, Y/F/N’,” she teases you and you chuck a pillow at her. “Whatever, go get changed. We have to look for your shoes.” She salutes playfully and goes back inside the dressing room.

Your phone beeps with a text and a smile makes its way onto your face when you read the text.

Partner in crime???: hey, how’s the wedding gown hunting going?

“I’m so sorry, the meeting ran a little longer than I expected,” Seokjin rushes inside the store and is surprised to see all five of their friends there with Yoongi. They all turn to him and Taehyung greets him. “Hey, hyung! That’s okay, we just got here awhile ago, you’re just in time.”

Seokjin plops down beside Taehyung and Yoongi’s going through the racks of black tuxes. “Hey hyung, what if you wore a pink tux?” Jeongguk suggests playfully and Yoongi turns around to give him a look.

The younger boy laughs and Yoongi sighs. “It’s not going to match the theme you know,” Yoongi comments, making the others laugh. “But what if you did wear pink? Would Y/F/N get mad?” Jimin pipes in.

“She won’t,” Yoongi leans against a wall casually. “The fact that she said yes even after hyung destroyed my proposal is enough proof that she loves me a lot.” The boys all burst in laughter at that while Seokjin just leans back in defeat.

“Min Yoongi, go find your top choices and we’ll help you decide,” Seokjin says tiredly, and Yoongi grins at him.

When Yoongi enters the dressing room to try on his top picks, Seokjin whips his phone out to text you. Almost immediately, you reply and Seokjin smiles at your response.

Wedding crasher buddy: all done! We found the perfect dress. How about you guys? And how did the meeting go?

“Hyung, do you seriously not have any feelings for Y/N? You’re smiling at your phone like an idiot,” Namjoon comments from across. Seokjin looks up and sees all of them looking at him.

“He has, but he’s being a coward about it,” Yoongi calls out, walking out of the dressing room all dressed up. They all turn to Yoongi and grin.

“We’re not being lazy but you should get that,” Hoseok comments. “Yeah, you look good in that,” Namjoon agrees. Yoongi nods. “I personally like this one the most too.” He goes back inside and the boys turn back to look at Seokjin.

“You’ve been living under one roof since you were freshmen in college, don’t you ever get jealous whenever she brings guys home?” Taehyung asks.

Seokjin blinks. “Woah, what’s with the interrogation? And no, because she never brought any guy home.”

“Has she ever spent a night away from home? Like, slept over at someone else’s house after a party?” Jimin continues.

“Uh, we always go home together after parties and if she did sleep over at someone else’s house, it would always be at Y/F/N’s and I know because I drove her there every time,” Seokjin answers.

Without looking at each other, the boys all say, “They’re in love with each other.”

“I agree!” Yoongi shouts from the dressing room and Seokjin groans. “Min Yoongi just come out here, will you?”

On cue, the man in question walks out. “Do I tell them?” he smirks. The five all turn to look at each other. “Tell us what?”

“This was a stupid idea,” Seokjin groans, picking your wasted self up on Byun Baekhyun’s couch. You had insisted on attending the friendly and energetic boy’s party after stressing out on your finals the entire week. Now that it was all over, you wanted to relax. Your brain had enough of words and you claimed that Seokjin’s supposedly had enough of numbers as well.

‘It’ll be fun! I promise’, you told him prior to leaving the apartment, and Seokjin gave in. Apparently, your’s and Seokjin’s definition of fun weren’t the same. While Seokjin drank moderately and talked occasionally to his classmates and friends , you downed just about every cup of liquor you could get your hands on, and that also included having dance battles with Park Jaehyung from your creative writing class and trying to sing higher notes than Baekhyun’s best friend, Jongdae.

So here you were, passed out on the couch and Seokjin could only hope you wouldn’t vomit the following day. He was expecting to carry you normally like he usually did when you stayed up late to study and fell asleep on the couch but he wasn’t expecting you to weigh like a huge rock boulder. You were heavy and maybe it was because you were completely passed out. He adjusts his hold on you and manages to somehow thank Baekhyun for the invitation before leaving.

He’s lucky enough to hail a taxi almost as soon as he steps out of Baekhyun’s apartment, and he manages to bring the two of you home all intact. The ride home was really peaceful - you were asleep in Seokjin’s arms and didn’t move much.

But when you arrived home and he had to put you down on your bed, that’s when things started to get a bit messy. “Hmm, it’s hot,” you mutter, and Seokjin sighs. He takes your socks and jacket off, and you’re left in your jeans and shirt. “Y/N, go get changed.”

Your eyes open slightly, and you give him a lazy grin. “Help me out, Jinnie.”

Seokjin’s ears turn red. You hardly called him Jinnie and when you did, it always got him flustered. Your arms reach out for him and he pulls you up gently, but you wouldn’t budge. “Y/N. I need you to get up for me,” Seokjin begins gently, tugging on you.

You weren’t doing anything and Seokjin’s been trying to get you out of bed for the past ten minutes. “Y/N,” Seokjin tries again for possibly the twentieth time that night. He tugs on your arms a bit harder. “Y/N, I swear to -” when he pulls on your arms with more force than intended, you suddenly sprang up, and your sudden action surprises Seokjin that he pulls on you even more.

The action causes your lips to land messily on his and his eyes widen at your action. His arms go still at his sides while your hands rest on his shoulders. Truth be told, Seokjin’s always thought something like this was bound to happen between the two of you; you’re now in your third year in college and you’ve both been single ever since. And maybe because Seokjin was starting to fall for his best friend.

Your lips move slowly against his and what was he supposed to do? Ignore you? Seokjin kisses you back and his arm wounds around your waist, pulling you in closer. Seokjin was getting lightheaded and he’s stupid for not acting on his feelings sooner. He would’ve saved himself from going insane all these years. He pushes you back to lie down and he’s hovering above you. But then you suddenly fall asleep…?

Seokjin breaks the kiss and lets out a small laugh. He looks at your adorable state - eyes closed, lips pouting slightly, hair a mess and flushed cheeks. Seokjin decides to just turn the temperature down and tucks you in properly. He smiles and presses a soft kiss to your forehead.

And Seokjin thought, that maybe it wasn’t such a stupid idea after all.

Until the following day came and you couldn’t remember anything except for Baekhyun’s other friend, Park Chanyeol.

“You kissed Y/N?!” All five of them exclaimed while Yoongi just casually sipped his coffee. Seokjin throws his head back on the couch and groans.

“And you never told us?” Hoseok gapes at him. “He told me,” Yoongi points out. “But I was drunk when I told you that!” Seokjin exclaims and Yoongi shrugs, “Point taken.”

“So, you just never told Y/N you kissed her and just let her date Park Chanyeol until the end of your third year?!” Taehyung exclaims. “Hyung, why would you chicken out like that!” Jeongguk adds.

Seokjin sighs. “They just dated for the second semester guys, calm down. I couldn’t lose Y/N as a friend, okay?”

“But hyung, how could you just watch the girl you like date someone else?” Jimin asks sadly. Seokjin purses his lips before answering, “I guess it was better to see her happy with someone else than to risk her not looking me in the eyes. I don’t know if she felt the same way, and I just couldn’t risk it.”

“But don’t you think it might’ve made a difference if you tried? Knowing Y/N, I don’t think you’d lose her as a friend,” Namjoon joins in. Seokjin just looks down and checks the time on his phone. He’s greeted with a picture the two of you took after meeting up with Yoongi and Y/F/N two months ago. He hasn’t changed it ever since. You were pouting and Seokjin was giving you a weird look and on most days, it made him happy. Now, it just made him feel hopeless.

“Well, we can’t change what already happened.”

You plop down in the corner booth of the cafe you frequented at while you were in college, exhausted from all the shopping and going around with Y/F/N. She sits down in front of you, equally exhausted.

“I don’t understand why you didn’t just get a wedding planner, you dummy. It would’ve saved us all the trouble,” you breathe heavily. Y/F/N kicks you under the table. “Ow!”

“We’re talking about my special day, Y/N. I want it to be perfect and you’re the only I trust enough to be able to pull it off. Both you and Seokjin know us better than anyone else,” she points out.

You sit up. “That is true.” She smiles and sits up as well. “Now, do you want anything? It’s my treat.”

Your eyes sparkle and she laughs. “The usual?” You nod, and she pats your head playfully before standing up to order for the both of you.

While waiting for her, you look outside the window and see couples left and right, going on dates. You rest your chin in the palm of your hand, sighing. You haven’t dated in so long, you’re sure you’ll end up alone. The first and last person you dated was Park Chanyeol, and it only lasted for one semester because he thought you were cheating on him with Seokjin. Besides, you didn’t really have much to talk about.

You scoff at the memory. Seokjin didn’t even think of you as a woman. You’ve always been Y/N to him, his best friend whom he met the summer before college.

“What are you thinking about?” Y//F/N breaks your train of thought and you turn to look at her. She’s back with your order and you help her set everything on the table. She returns the tray before sitting back down in front of you.

You take a sip of your drink. “Just, how single and alone I’ve been since college…?” you offer a lame response and she rolls her eyes. “You haven’t been alone, Y/N. You’ve always had Seokjin.”

“Yeah, but I mean, romantically.” You explain and she shakes her head. “You have Seokjin.” Confused, you furrow your eyebrows at her. “What are you talking about?”

Y/F/N sighs and leans back in her seat. “You have Seokjin so you’re not alone and you’re not gonna end up alone, okay? I know what you’ve been thinking, that you’re not gonna end up marrying someone and you’re gonna die alone.”

You give her a look. “That’s a bit too much, don’t you think? The dying alone part,” you say. She smiles sadly at you.

“Why are you looking at me like that? Y/F/N, don’t give me that look,” you inch further into your seat. She shakes her head at you. “You’re both so dense, you know that? Anyone with eyes and a common sense can tell how much you love each other. Except for the two of you, unfortunately.”

Sighing, you hold Y/F/N’s hands in yours. “I think you’re just tired, let’s get you home, yeah?” She rolls her eyes at you playfully. “I’ll leave you to figure it out on your own.”

Y/F/N opens the door to the apartment and inside you see all seven boys deeply immersed in a black and white film. “What’s up with them?” you whisper and Y/F/N snorts quietly. “I don’t know, let’s just go watch with them.” you nod and Y/F/N makes her way over to Yoongi.

“Hey, you guys are here,” Yoongi greets and the boys all raise a hand in greeting, their eyes still focused on the film in front of them. You laugh at how in sync they are and plop down next to Seokjin. Out of impulse, he raises an arm to wrap around you and you cuddle closer to him.

“I’m tired, let’s all just sleep here,” you mutter, resting your head on his chest as he rubs your arm gently. “If they don’t kick us out,” Seokjin whispers into your head and you grin, nodding. Suddenly feeling sleepy from the warmth Seokjin was radiating, you chose to close your eyes instead of watching the film.

The next time you open your eyes, you’re facing the door to your closet and you realize you’re already in your own bed. You pout, because Yoongi and Y/F/N kicked everyone out for sure. You turn around and come face to face with Seokjin’s sleeping figure, soft snores leaving his lips.

A gentle smile crawls up your lips, and your finger reaches out to run along his face. You trace the bridge of his nose, the curve of his lips, and count the lashes on his eyes. He looked so peaceful sleeping. It’s then that you realized how long it’s been since you last fell asleep next to Seokjin. It usually happened on really cold nights in the winter when you just needed that extra bit of warmth.

Your finger moves up to brush the hair out of his face when you suddenly remembered Y/F/N’s words from earlier that day.

Anyone with eyes and a common sense can tell how much you love each other.

You look at your best friend. Kim Seokjin understands you better than anyone else. Y/F/N understands you too, but Seokjin knows you like the back of his hand. He can read you like an open book and you could say the same for him. It’s always been like that. Ever since you both met way back in the summer before your first year in college (at a wedding you both crashed on your own for fun), you’ve been attached at the hip. Maybe it’s also why neither of you have been in long-lasting relationships. Seokjin dated like, one girl in your freshman year and you dated one guy in your third year in college. That was it. People either thought you were a couple or you were just too focused on your studies to actually date, but it was neither of those reasons.

But if you knew Seokjin as much as you thought you did, why couldn’t you tell whether he actually loved you or not?

As you’re approaching the buffet table, the alarms start to go off in your head. A guy around your age was hanging out by the table, munching on some cupcakes. He spots you and immediately straightens his posture, suddenly looking just a tad bit alarmed at your presence. Noting how he suddenly felt after seeing you, you calm down and approach the table.

“Excuse me,” you say calmly, and he moves to the side as you reach for a cupcake.

From your peripheral, you can see him watching you. Deciding to take the risk since you weren’t going to lose anything anyway, you ask, “So, whose side are you on?”

He blinks, once, twice, surprised at the sudden conversation starter. You glance at him before turning to fully face him. “The groom’s,” he answers you confidently and you nod, smirking.

“Me too,” you decide and you turn to face him. “Really? How come I’ve never seen you at previous events before?” He asks casually, giving you a suspicious look.

You take a bite of your cupcake before answering. “I studied in the U.S. and I flew in just yesterday for the wedding.”

He shrugs, accepting your answer. “My brother’s great friends with the groom,” the guy says and you look away, hiding your smile.

“Rule number 1. Don’t say stuff like that unless people ask. It blows your cover,” you say and turn to him, grinning.

“I- how did you-”

“Seeing where we’re standing right now, I think we’re here for the same reason. I’m Y/N.” You extend your hand out for him and he looks at you in awe, before taking your hand in his.

He gives you a firm shake.

“I’m Seokjin.”

iv.

Stupid idea. Bad idea. Dumb idea.

You sigh, leaning back in your chair as you tried to find the energy and motivation to write an article about the rising new rookie group that was set to perform at the PlayStation Theatre in New York, just two months after their debut. But instead of going over the recording of your interview with the group, your mind was somewhere else.

Just two days ago, you (somewhat) finally acknowledged that maybe you actually had feelings for your best friend. It didn’t help that apparently, everyone kept saying that they knew that the two of you were in love with each other. Except for the two of you. And ever since then, you’ve been ignoring Seokjin. Well, trying to.

Stupid idea. Bad idea. Dumb idea.

The wedding was set to happen in three months. Can’t you wait for the wedding to be over before you started avoiding Seokjin? Or maybe at least, until the month ended so you’d reason with the monthly pay for the rent, or something?

Can’t you wait for a reasonable excuse before ignoring your best friend?

Seokjin immediately knew something was up. From the moment he woke up in your bed and you weren’t there to poke fun at him, he knew something was up. He thinks maybe you found out how he felt and just wanted to stay away from him as much as possible. What he didn’t know was that you were just conflicted about your own feelings and didn’t even know how much his heart yearned for you.

He gave you your space, although not entirely. He still made your morning coffee for you, he still left the curtains open for you in the morning because you loved how the sunlight streamed in through the windows at 7 am, he still did little things for you. It was hard to get rid of doing those things for you, especially since he’s been doing that for years now.

Your phone beeps with a text and it’s Seokjin himself.

Partner in crime???: i’m going to check on the venue and decorations today, are you coming?

Despite everything that’s been going on between you two lately, Seokjin still kept things professional. You stare at your phone long and hard, when another text comes in.

Partner in crime???: it’s okay if you’re not coming, i can go alone. You must be busy.

You think about Yoongi and Y/F/N, who both entrusted you with the most special day of their life. You can’t let them down just because you’re clueless and lost about your feelings for your best friend.

You: I’m going, I’ll meet you there?

Partner in crime???: i’m downstairs.

Oh.

Shutting your computer off, you grab your bag and exit your office.

“Oh! Noona, are you going somewhere?” Your intern, Kim Seungmin, asks when he passes by your office. You nod and he bows lightly. “Okay, I’ll just leave some papers on your desk, I’m getting them from Mr. Lee’s office right now.”

“Thanks, Seungmin,” you smile at the young intern and he smiles back before going on his way.

The sun is shining brightly when you step out of the office and Seokjin’s leaning against his car, scrolling through his phone. “Hey,” you call out and he looks up. He offers you an awkward smile and you smile back softly. He opens the car door for you and without looking at him, you get inside.

He soon follows and he starts the car right away. He drives away from the curb and out onto the main road, and you turn the music on to get rid of the awkward silence. You stop at a red light and Seokjin taps on the steering wheel softly.

You clear your throat and Seokjin turns to you. When your eyes meet, you turn away and face the window, causing him to focus back on the road instead. “I’ve already checked on the invites, and almost everyone has confirmed their attendance. I’m just waiting for a few more people.”

“That’s great, all that’s left would be the food, if we finalize everything for the decor and venue today.” Seokjin replies and you nod. “We’ll be meeting up with Yoongi and Y/F/N for the food tasting tomorrow, right?” You ask.

“Yeah, we’ll just meet up with them at the restaurant.”

“Okay.” you reply.

Seokjin doesn’t say anything else after that.

You’re almost done with the food tasting when Y/F/N puts her fork down and folds her arms. You pause and look at her.

“Alright, what’s up with the two of you?” she wastes no time in beating around the bush, catching you both off-guard.

“Yeah. We can practically feel the tension radiating off the both of you,” Yoongi comments.

“Nothing’s wrong,” the both of you say and they give you looks. “We’ve known you both since college. We know something’s wrong,” Yoongi frowns. “Did you guys get into a fight or something?”

“No, we didn’t.” You say first and you can see Seokjin lean back in his seat tiredly.

“Then why-” your phone rings and you take the call immediately, grateful for the interruption.

“Hello?” the three turn to look at you and your eyes widen. “Yes, what? Okay, I’ll be there, thank you.” You end the call and stand up. Seokjin stands up too and you turn to look at him.

“What happened?” Y/F/N asks. You break your gaze from Seokjin and turn to look at Y/F/N. “There’s been a problem with your flowers, I’m heading over to the flower shop to see what it is. Just finish up here, okay? Don’t worry about it, I’ll make sure everything goes well.” You take Y/F/N’s hand in yours and give it a squeeze.

“I’m going with you,” Seokjin announces and you shake your head. “Stay with them, I can do it.” You insist but he just sighs. “You don’t have a car and I have one, we’ll get there faster,” he latches his hand onto your wrist and pulls you along with him.

“Uh, drive safe?” Yoongi suggests and Y/F/N lets out a laugh when you’ve both left. “What the hell was that?”

Yoongi smirks. “I think they’ve both figured it out, but they’re just missing a piece.” Y/F/N picks her fork back up and takes a bite out of the ice cream cake. “Hmm, this cake is good, but their tea is better,” she laughs and Yoongi stares at her.

“Babe, your jokes are-” Y/F/N pushes a finger to his lips. “I know I make no sense, but you should really try this cake,” she offers a slice and Yoongi rolls his eyes playfully before opening his mouth. He chews on the sweet dessert, nodding in agreement.

“Told you so.” she grins.

The bell above the flower shop door rings noisily, signalling your presence. “Hello?” You call out, stepping inside with Seokjin following behind you. A woman in her sixties comes out from the door behind the counter and you both give her a bow. She smiles and walks from around the counter.

“Hi, you’re Y/N, right?” she greets. “Yes, ma’am. What happened?” you ask and she sighs. “One of our gardeners got into a minor accident and another two have been called back to their hometowns for family emergencies. Given the lack of manpower right now, my grandson and I won’t be able to finish carrying out your order in time for the wedding. We’ve received a lot of orders lately, because so many people want to get married in spring. We’re really sorry because we wanted to arrange for your wedding as well but we probably won’t be able to do it.”

You turn to look at Seokjin but he’s thinking deeply. “We can recommend a few other flower shops that would be able to do rush orders, if you want,” the woman suggests. “How hard is it to arrange flowers for a wedding?” Seokjin blurts out and you and the woman turn to him.

“Well, it’s not that hard, but it’s a lot of work. Why do you ask?” the woman answers. “Maybe we can help out? Our friends really wanted this flower shop, because the groom has been buying flowers for the bride since they first started dating. Maybe you know them? Yoongi?” Seokjin replies.

A look of realization and recognition crosses the woman’s face. “Oh, Yoongi! Yes, he’s always bought bouquets here. He’s great friends with my grandson, Jisung. And oh my goodness, I apologize, I thought you were the ones getting married,” she chuckles, embarrassed. You and Seokjin laugh awkwardly.

“No, we’re just the wedding planners,” Seokjin answers. “Slash best man and maid of honor,” you add and Seokjin nods.

The woman laughs in understanding. “Well, of course you can. But only if it’s not getting in the way of your own personal schedules. We’re trying to look around for people looking for a part-time job for spring break, so maybe we can find more help,” the woman answers.

“I can leave the office anytime as long as I don’t have any meetings to attend,” Seokjin says and you look at him. “I thought you were still busy this month? You’re replacing your dad in a few months.” Seokjin shrugs. “It’s fine. He knows I’m busy with Yoongi’s wedding so he’s kind of given me a break.”

“Okay, then. I’ve been kind of chill at work lately so I guess we could make it work?” You turn to the woman. Her eyes shine brightly. “Oh, that’s lovely! You’d really help us out?”

You smile and nod. “It’s the least we could do for you and for our friends. We just want their special day to be perfect.”

The woman holds onto your hands and gives it a squeeze. “Of course, you must know how that feels, right? Wanting your special day to be perfect,” she glances at Seokjin and you both realize what she’s saying.

“Oh!” you wave your hands in front of you frantically. “Uh,” Seokjin says at the same time. “We, uh, we’re not exactly...dating,” you trail off.

The woman looks between you two and blinks. “Really? I thought you were even married.”

You turn to Seokjin and back at the woman. You purse your lips and shake your head slowly. The woman looks at the two of you again before giggling. “Ah, my bad. Sorry!”

You and Seokjin can only give her an awkward laugh in return.

vi.

“Tomorrow’s the big day, huh?” Seokjin starts a conversation and you hum in response, taking the used plates to the sink as he clears up the table. “I didn’t think we’d be capable of pulling it off, honestly,” you comment and he chuckles. The past three months went by so fast, you could hardly catch your breath. And how you managed to somewhat ignore Seokjin whilst continuing to work by his side for the wedding amazed you.

“Yeah, me too.”

Neither of you say anything after that.

vii.

You’re holding back tears as you listen to Yoongi say his wedding vows. Yoongi’s standing in front of the altar, Y/F/N’s hands clasped in one as the other held the mic.

“Y/F/N, you’ve been there for me since the day I was late to music history and the only seat available was next to you. I was up the night before composing my shitty songs and you were kind enough to lend me your color coded notes with all those cute little borders and banners. I couldn’t even arrange my music sheets properly and here, this pretty girl was so organized to have her sheets arranged in a folder and her notes neatly written. You stayed up with me all the time, and you helped me out of my writing slump every time. Y/F/N, now that you’ve given me the honor to spend the rest of my life with you, I promise to be there for you always, like you always have been for me. I’ll write songs about you until the day I die and I’m going to make you laugh for as long as I can make stupid jokes. I don’t ever want to make your heart ache and if I break that promise, I’m giving you the rights to sabotage my compositions. That’s how much I love you,” Yoongi says, and everyone’s both laughing and crying by the time he’s finished, especially Y/F/N.

You wipe your tears away and from across you, your eyes lock with Seokjin. He gives you a smile and you can only smile back at him, ignoring the way your heart sped up. Just a little bit.

The wedding ceremony soon ends and after taking the mandatory wedding photos, Seokjin leads everyone to the reception while you sit down on one of the church pews.

“I don’t think I’ve sat down to talk to you in such a long time,” Namjoon speaks up from behind you and you turn around. He sits down beside you and you smile at him.

“I’ve been really busy, I guess.” He nods at your answer.

“You should talk to him. Properly, I mean,” Namjoon corrects himself and you look at him. “What?”

“Hyung. You’re both running away from each other,” Namjoon continues. “You’re scared to face each other, because you don’t know what or how much you could lose.” Namjoon turns to face you.

“Just try talking to him about how you feel, Y/N. You’ve both been busy with the wedding so maybe you haven’t really had the time to think about your feelings, but I don’t think you need to think too deeply about it,” Namjoon begins. “You met in the summer before college. You hit it off really well and the fact that you were lucky enough to have been accepted into the same college way before you even met made things even better. You both lived in the same apartment since your first year and until now, you still do. He makes you laugh, he understands you better than anyone else,” Namjoon pauses. You stay silent, and Namjoon decides to continue. “He loves you and you love him. What’s there to be afraid of?”

“Okay, in 3, 2, 1!” Y/F/N tosses her bouquet and all her bridesmaids giggle and move to the side, leaving you in the center. “Wait, what-” the bouquet lands in your hands and everyone cheers, rendering you speechless.

“Hey, wait! Is this even legal?” You protest and the crowd laughs. Y/F/N laughs hysterically, taking the microphone Jimin hands to her. “Oh, come on Y/N! You’ve been complaining about how single you’ve been since college! This is my gift to you for planning all of this for me and Yoongi,” she teases while you bury your face in the bouquet.

“Now, onto the next part,” Y/F/N grins and sits down on a chair. Yoongi laughs before walking over to her. He whispers something in her ear and Y/F/N nods, laughing. He kneels in front of her and pulls the garter down and the guests all cheer.

“Oh, boy.” You decide to take a break and head over to your favorite part of the room, the buffet table. You eye the chocolate fondue and grab yourself a plate, selecting all the desserts you’ve been lusting over since the food tasting when people start cheering and laughing from the front of the room. You turn around when you recognize Hoseok’s loud laughter and the sound of someone falling to the floor, most probably Jeongguk.

When you turn around, Taehyung’s already running towards you. Sensing the possibility that he’s going to drag you, you put down your plate of desserts just as Taehyung reaches you.

“You’re so dead,” He cackles, pulling onto your wrist just like you had expected. “Kim Taehyung, I’m wearing heels! Calm down!” Taehyung doesn’t stop dragging you and when you reach the front, you’re greeted with all of the boys and the bridesmaids laughing and cheering. An empty chair is positioned next to the laughing newlywed couple and beside the chair is none other than Kim Seokjin, holding the wedding garter in his hand.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” you mutter and Jeongguk excitedly takes you from Taehyung, leading you to the chair where he pushes you down to sit.

“Jeon Jeongguk,I swear-” he shuts you up with a chocolate coated marshmallow (where did that come from?) and you have no choice but to eat the fluffy sweet.

Seokjin appears in front of you and suddenly you’re self-conscious, the marshmallow making your cheeks puff up. Despite his red ears, Seokjin still laughs at the sight of your cheeks. He kneels down and your heartbeat picks up. He looks back up at you and your eyes lock.

Lifting your foot gently, he slips the garter on and pulls it up your leg. Your cheeks heat up and if it weren’t for the camera clicks and flashes going off around the two of you, you would’ve forgotten people were watching.

Contain yourself, Y/N. You remember your sophisticated British classmate, Alexandra, from college. It was something she would often say to you, whenever you passed by the cute athletes on the field. It was a sucker that she didn’t finish her studies in Korea, since she had to go back home to the UK.

Your thoughts are interrupted when the garter moves past your knee. Seokjin stops momentarily to look at you and you just nod at him. You don’t know what happens next, except that Y/F/N suddenly pulls you up and a slow song starts playing.

“Go dance with your future groom,” she whispers in your ear before she’s whisked away by Yoongi. You look at them fondly and you aww at the sight before you, Y/F/N tearing up as Yoongi led their dance, words leaving his lips and his eyes bright. You can only guess whatever he’s saying to be full of love and you can’t help but smile brightly.

A gentle hand rests on your lower back and Seokjin stands beside you. You look at him and lock eyes. Cliché as it may be, the world around starts to blur out and you can only focus on your best friend.

“Is it too much to ask for a dance?” he smiles softly and offers his hand out for you. Placing your hand in his, you shake your head. “If it’s you, never.”

Seokjin smiles, and leads you to the dance floor along with the other couples. Your eyes meet Namjoon’s and he smiles at you. You smile back, before turning to fully face your best friend.

“Hi,” he begins and you laugh softly. “Hello.” Seokjin sways the both of you slowly and you sigh.

“I’m sorry I tried to stop talking to you,” you apologize and Seokjin nods. “I was confused and scared, I didn’t know what to do about my feelings.”

“I wish you would’ve talked to me about it, but I understand. We were both cowards, let’s not deny that.” He replies and you nod. “But,” Seokjin tightens his hold around your waist and pulls you closer.

“I’m also sorry for not telling you things sooner. I’m sorry for keeping things from you,” he says, making you furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “What do you mean? You’ve never kept anything from me.”

Seokjin sighs and looks down. “That’s where you’re wrong,” he looks up again. “I kissed you. Long before Chanyeol ever did,” he admits. You can only look at him and he decides to just tell you everything. “Baekhyun’s party, the end of first semester of our third year in college,” he starts. “You were passed out on the couch and I had to carry you all the way home. I was about to tuck you in when you somehow regained consciousness. You were feeling a bit hot so I told you to get changed. I’d already taken your socks and jacket off then. You wanted me to help you get up so I did but you wouldn’t budge,” Seokjin watches your reaction but he can’t get anything out of the stare you gave him.

“After a few more tries, you finally decided to get up but I pulled on you too hard and you ended up kissing me. I thought you’d just move back but you kissed me and I kissed you back. I already had feelings for you back then,” Seokjin notices the light pink shade dusting your cheeks and it definitely wasn’t because of the makeup. “But when you woke up the next day, you only remembered Chanyeol.”

“Jinnie,” you whisper and he chuckles softly. “You called me Jinnie that night too, and I guess because I always loved it when you called me that, I badly wanted to confess to you.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“I was stupid, I was scared that maybe I’d lose you if I told you how I felt. And, as a roommate. I couldn’t pay for the rent on my own you know,” Seokjin jokes, trying to lighten the mood. You laugh and poke his cheek.

“You were stupid. I remembered the kiss, but I was scared that it meant nothing to you and you were only being nice. That’s why I said I only remembered Chanyeol because I was hoping to get a reaction out of you.”

Seokjin throws his head and lets out a whine. “Ugh, you mean to tell me we could’ve possibly been engaged or married by now if we weren’t such cowards in college?!”

You giggle at his annoyed look and nod. “Yes, you dummy. I can’t believe us,” you say and Seokjin huffs. “I can’t believe I let you go on all those dates with Chanyeol,” he pouts and your heart starts to ache for his adorable pout. “He even kissed you, held your hand and hugged you for an entire semester!” Seokjin starts to rant, and you laugh, knowing he’s not going to stop talking.

“How could I let him buy you that shitty coffee at the café when I knew how to make it better than those baristas? How could I let him give you those flowers that wilted after a day-” your lips shut him up and he stops talking.

His eyes widen and his ears redden again. “You’re talking too much, Jinnie. I didn’t even like Chanyeol that much,” you lead him away from the dance floor and out onto the balcony outside.

The cool spring breeze blows softly in the night and before you could even react, Seokjin drapes his coat around you. He rubs your covered shoulders in an attempt to warm you up and you smile at him. He makes you face him and before you could say anything, he leans down and kisses you softly.

You smile into the kiss and wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. His arms wrap around your waist tightly. He tilts his head so he can kiss you better and if it weren’t for his arms around you, your knees would’ve given up on you.

“I love you,” Seokjin whispers, when you break away for air. His lips are still brushing against yours gently, and you give him another short, sweet kiss.

“I love you too.”

vii.

1 year later

“Gucci, come here!” You call out, and the overly energetic Maltese puppy jumps onto your lap, his tail wagging excitedly and his tongue sticking out. You stroke his hair and scratch his head happily, the puppy leaning into you.

“Ah, you’re so adorable, baby,” you coo, nuzzling your face in his neck. You hear the door opening and a smile crawls up your face.

“Aish, I can’t believe I bought my girlfriend a puppy for her birthday so she wouldn’t feel lonely when I’m away and now I have to fight said puppy for my girlfriend’s attention because apparently she loves him more than she loves me,” Seokjin announces, walking into your apartment.

You remove your head from Gucci’s neck and let go of the puppy, who barks happily and runs over to Seokjin, jumping up and down. “Hey, you’re home,” you greet and Seokjin bends down to greet Gucci with a few head scratches.

He walks over to you and you lean up, kissing him on the lips. “I missed you,” he whispers and you grin, pulling him on the couch. You lie back down and he crawls on top of you, his arms resting on both sides of your head. He presses a kiss to your forehead, and you lean up to kiss his jaw.

“Can you not go away for more than a week?” You ask, cupping his face as he adjusts the two of you on the couch so that you’re cuddling. You lie on his arm as he entangles your legs together.

“I’ll try not to, but I really can’t help it, babe.” He kisses you again and you hum, burying your face in his neck.

You love it. You love the lazy days with Seokjin on weekends, but you love the days that he comes home after business trips more. “What did you wanna do this weekend?” He asks after a few minutes of comfortable silence and you look up at him. You purse your lips and look up in thought.

“I don’t know, but we have to take Gucci to the groomer’s though,” you say and the puppy comes running back, jumping on the couch to squeeze himself in between you. Seokjin groans and you giggle.

“He’s being too much. He’s had you all to himself the entire week!” Seokjin whines. You kiss his nose fondly. “I love you more though,” you point out and Seokjin grins.

“I miss sneaking into weddings with you,” you sigh, and Seokjin rubs your back comfortingly.

“Wanna sneak into another wedding again?” Seokjin sits up, pulling you up with him. Your eyes sparkle and Seokjin’s heart starts to pick up its pace. He nods and you squeal.

“Really? Where? When?” you ask and Seokjin reaches into his pocket.

“It’s not happening anytime soon, but I think it’s happening in 8 months or so,” he says and you look surprised. “Wow, how did you know about it this early? Is it someone you know?”

His hand comes out of his pocket and you raise an eyebrow at his clenched fist. “I don’t, but I’m just hoping it happens in 8 months,” he says and you laugh. “Jinnie, you’re not making any sense.” He smiles and lets out a shaky exhale.

You gasp because Seokjin’s suddenly kneeling in front of you, and in his hand is a velvet box. He opens the small box and a shiny, diamond ring greets you.

“I met you in the summer, when we both snuck into a wedding. We didn’t know each other that well but we clicked and the next thing I knew, I was sharing an apartment with you the entire time I was in college,” Seokjin begins, his eyes watering slightly.

“You kissed me first when we were in our third year, and you still kissed me first last year when we finally had the guts to admit we were both in love with each other. Y/N, I ruined Yoongi’s proposal last year so that’s why I’m doing this here, and now. I don’t trust myself enough to be able to pull off something extravagant like Yoongi. But I hope this is enough to let you know that I really want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don’t wanna sneak into weddings anymore, because I want to have our own. I know a year ago I said I was worried about ending up alone and raising fifty cats, but you told me that I already have you and Gucci isn’t a cat.” You chuckle, the tears falling down.

“Do you wanna do the same things we did for Yoongi and Y/F/N’s wedding last year again but this time, for our wedding, with me? Will you marry me?” Seokjin asks and you don’t waste another moment. You kneel down in front of him, nodding and hugging him.

“Yes, Seokjin. Yes, I’ll marry you,” you answer and Seokjin wastes no time to slip the ring on your finger. He brings your hand to his lips and presses a soft kiss there, his tears falling on your knuckles. You let out a watery laugh, and he looks up, kissing you on the lips.

“I love you, Y/N. I always have.”

“I love you too, Seokjin. Let’s get married.”

Gucci barks up in excitement and your moment is broken as the puppy starts to wiggle his way in between you, again.

“Are we gonna raise fifty dogs instead?” You ask Seokjin and he shakes his head immediately, making you laugh.

“I’m not competing for your love and attention with 50 dogs, Y/N.” Seokjin states firmly.

“But, Jinnie!”

“No.”

“Can we have a kid instead?”

“Well, I can’t say no to that.”

“I love you, Kim Seokjin.”

⇒ let me know what you think or hmu with anything under the sun here!

53 notes · View notes

bajuuuu · 4 years

Text

The Spiral- a short #UnusAnnus stor

Endless spiral all around me. It must have been just a few hours but it feels like eternity. Does time even work the same around here? Who knows… maybe not even a day passed above- above, in the real world. Huh real world, is that what I am calling it? I guess, but if that is real where am I now? I am not dreaming, I can’t be dead- I think- and this definitely isn’t the same place where I was a few hours ago. Where am I? In the machine! That’s where I am, that is certain, but that still doesn’t mean I can’t be somewhere else as well. For all I know the stupid coffin can work just as an entrance to another universe which we naively call “The Machine”. Where am I? I would love to say I am in the middle of nowhere but even that isn’t true! I am not in the middle! I am just nowhere! Absolutely nowhere!

How could it all go so bad? We had everything in control didn’t we? Didn’t we? Sure we did! At the beginning! But then it all went to hell! How could I let that happen? The worst part is I could have prevented this! I could have, god damn it! And if nothing else I could have prevented Ethan from paying for my mistakes! I keep waking towards the nonexistent middle. A fun little channel! It was supposed to be just a fun little channel! But nah! I must always go just a little further! Always just a little more! Always further beyond! And look where that got me! Look! And sure I was tricked- tricked into the machine- but it is till my fault! All of this! My fault! Oh Ethan will never forgive me for this! I wouldn’t if I was at his place- Wherever that even is…

No! You are not taking my friend you stupid piece of machinery! No matter what you try to do to me! I am still Mark Fishbach! And if nothing else I am going to get Ethan out of here! Somehow…

...somehow...

Ah what am I kidding… it would be a miracle if I even found him let alone found a way to get us out of here! All of this! It is just me trying to keep my head above the water. Just a sad and lonely Mark trying to keep myself sane by assigning myself a probably pointless task without any assurance it is fulfillable! Am I doing this just because I don’t want to believe I have failed again? Probably! Have I already failed? Definitely! Can I make this right? Who the hell knows?!

I should be hungry and thirsty but the only thing I am is tired- tired and so incredibly stupid! Why did I ever think making a deal with two death gods was a good idea? I want to slow down! I want to stop for a moment and get some sleep but I am afraid that once I slow down for even a single moment I won’t be able to get back up. I have to keep going! I have to, or else I have failed yet again. And so I continue on, into the nothing in front of me, getting forever further from the nothing behind me. I wonder how Amy is doing. Does she know? Does she have a suspicion? Or is she still blissfully oblivious to the fact that her boyfriend and his friend have been replaced by dangerous entities from another dimension? What do the editors think? I hope they are not in danger too! That’s the last thing I need now- more people I put in the harm’s way!

How long did I already walk? Who knows?! I don’t! That’s certain! How ironic I am inside of a clock! I can even hear it! Each and every second of it! I hear it! Tic. Tac. Tic. Tac. Over and over it ticks away my time. Yet I don’t know how much time I have. All I hear is the constant ticking! I feel like I am going crazy! Who knows, maybe I already am! Even if I was, there isn’t anyone to tell me is there?!

W-way- Wait a minute! Do I-? Is-is that-? No way! I gathered all the last bits of strength I had and started to run. Don’t let your hopes up Mark! Maybe you really are going crazy. You know what this place does. But it has to be! Who else would it be? Breathing heavily I ran right to the silhouette that emerged from the spiral in front of me. The closer I got the clearer it was- I found him! Against all odds I did it! I found Ethan! Still panting I stopped just a few meters in front of him. “Ethan?!” I spoke in between my breaths. But I got no answer, Ethan was sitting right in front of me, curled into a ball with his head hidden by his legs. “Ethan?” I asked this time more carefully, his behavior startled me. No answer. “Ethan it’s me, Mark!” I repeated once again. “Sure and the voice you sent last time was also you right?!” Ethan finally spoke, still not looking at me, his voice was tired, exhausted and quiet. “What? What voice?” I asked. The initial excitement was now replaced by confusion. “Oh don’t play dumb with me! Why do you keep thinking this will work?! You tried so many times before, why do you think this time I’ll believe you?” “B-but it is me, Mark! Please just look! I am right here in front of you!” I started to fear for Ethan’s sanity. “Don’t let your hopes up! Don’t let your hopes up! Don’t let your hopes up!” Ethan whispered to himself as he started to tremble. “Ethan! Please! I am right here!” I said once more but with each word Ethan just trembled more and more. Alright whatever I am doing, it is not working. I need to try this differently… but how? Damn it Ethan I am supposed to be the crying bitch baby! “Ethan just tell me what can I do to make you believe I am really here if you don’t want to look for yourself?” I asked. “Shut up!” Ethan shouted. “Just shut up and leave me alone!” Do I want to touch him and make him look? No, no I can’t, if anything I would just make him even more afraid. Startled, I accepted my defeat and sat quietly down a few meters away from Ethan, waiting for him to do something first. What happened to him? Should I be afraid for his sanity? I-I mean I already am, but should I be?! I don’t know how long we sat there like this but we did. Just the two of us… in the literal embodiment of nowhere. Finally Ethan moved his head and gave me one quick look before flinching and looking away again. I wanted to do or say something but I feared that any movement might scare him even more. Just a moment- that’s how long it took Ethan to avert his eyes back to me, he was still trembling in what I imagine was fear but in his eyes I saw disbelief and surprise. “M-Mark?” He asked shyly. “Yes! Yes, it is me Ethan! It is really me.” I spoke as calmly as I could. “What are you doing here?” He continued with the questioning. “We opened the coffin, remember?” I said. “And since then?” “I tried to find you.” I answered not fully understanding why would Ethan ask that question. “It really is you?” Ethan asked once again. “Yes! Here in the flesh.” Silence.

“What did you mean when you spoke about the voice?” Now was my time to ask questions. I disn'r want to break the silence but the tension in the east was unbearable. “From time to time I hear a voice- your voice and it keeps calling to me. Telling me that you are here but no matter how hard I look around, you are never there.” Ethan’s voice started to crack. “No matter what I do, and no matter where I go you are never there!” His voice finally broke as Ethan started to tear up. “Never there! So I decided to just close my eyes and hope it disappears soon!” He spoke between sobbs. “I don't know if it is this place messing with my head or if I am just crazy but in the end it doesn’t matter. In the end nothing really matters in here apart from your own sanity fading away slowly in front of your eyes.” “I am here now, okay? I am here and I am not going anywhere.” I tried to comfort him. “Can you please hug me?” Ethan asked suddenly, tears still filling his eyes. I stood up and walked closer to him, carefully, as if I risked breaking something in the process, he was almost still, his eyes looking at me through the layer of the salty tears. I closed the gap between us and finally embraced Ethan in a long and tight hug. I really cannot tell who needed it more. Was it the trembling Ethan or the exhausted me? I don’t know but at the moment it didn’t matter.

“Are we going to die here?” Ethan broke the silence, he was still terrified. “No-“ I tried to console him but he cut me off. “Don’t lie to me Mark! Are we going to die here?” Ethan saw right through me. He broke free from the hug. “I-I don’t know.” I said, now truthfully even though the sentence was breaking my heart. It was me who caused this! And it was my place to find a way out of here, not Ethan’s! Heck he wasn’t even supposed to end up here in the first place! “B-but we have a whole year to figure something out! I promise I will do anything in my power to get you out of here!” “A year? What are you talking about? We have a week at best! We have one day, if that annoying prick occupying my body is telling the truth!” Ethan raised his voice both in anger and confusion. “No- No, that can’t be right! A day?!” I too was confused and fear quickly made its way back into my head. This can’t be right! “This place- it plays tricks on you Mark… time and space lose meaning here. Left can be right, right can be left, down can be up and up can be down. There is no floor under us nor a ceiling above us. There is just the never ending spiral and nothing more… and on top of that, it literally sucks energy out of you probably to fuel the machine- you probably experiwnced that. I have been here for a long time- probably way longer than you. And if Unus is telling the truth then in our actual world we have a day before the timer hits zero-” How long have you been here Ethan?! How long have I been here? Do we really have just one day? No! No, No, No, No, No! That can’t be! I still have to make things right! “What to you is a day, to me is a month and all of it is completely different from the outside world anyways so it doesn’t matter!” Ethan’s voice was just a little too calm given the situation. I must say it scared me. “And for every real-world day that flies by, that stupid idiot above comes down and tells me ‘Hey! You wasted another day!’ In the most uplifting way possible so it makes you go even more crazy!” Here Ethan’s voice finally revealed the full power of his despair and fear that until now I could just guess was still inside of him. This however wasn’t really time for in-depth analysis of Ethan’s feelings. “Wait… wait… wait… by the stupid idiot you mean Unus? He has visited you?” If anything this was time to get the hell out of here and even for that it was probably too late. Time… funny that time is what we need. We are in a place that doesn’t follow the rules of physics and yet we are fighting for time! We are in a place that literally screams ‘Time is a social construct!’ on top of its lungs yet time is the only thing we need right now. I want to laugh at the irony of it but my mouth is sealed shut unable to say a word. “Of course he has visited me! Always with his black little suit, and a body that belongs to ME!” A short pause. “Do you want to tell me that mister Annus up there didn’t come to you at least once to remind you just how much time you have until you DIE?!” Ethan asked, spitting the name Annus in a mocking tone from his mouth. What he said must have been a rethorical question because he didn’t even give me time to answer. Of course he didn’t… Of course! Or else you would’ve known that we don’t have a whole year but one mere day!” Ethan said almost in one breath. “I-I-“ I wanted to say something- anything- but there was nothing I could say to make the situation better. There was noth I could do! And this feeling of hopelessness enveloped me until I couldn’t think about anything else.

Something suddenly caught Ethan’s eye as he stopped in his angry rant and looked behind me. “Speak of the devils!” He shouted angrily, waking me from my despair and making me look his way. Indeed I immediately saw and recognized two figures standing in front of us. Unus in black, Annus in white, both with bodies that once belonged to me and Ethan. In fact they would be exact copies of us if it wasn’t for the skulls sitting where the head should be. Perfectly still, they stood there, in their classic postures and with their palms forming the notorious triangle. “Come-” Annus said, his voice identical to mine. “-the livestream is about to begin.” Unus added.

I hope you liked my short story. It would mean an incredible amount to me if you told me what you think and if you upvoted it! I secretly hope Mark and Ethan will notice this and read it on the livestream so if you could upvote it would mean the world to me.

Momento Mori my friends

#UnusAnnus

#unus annus #unusannus #UnusAnnusEndParty #unus annus fanart #unusannusisoverparty #unus annus is over party

3 notes · View notes

hisgloriouslove4anintjfemale · 5 years

Text

Joshua 4

youtube

I have so much to be grateful.

I just finished my 2nd publication ( though, I strived to get it done rather than abiding in Him). I have been restless and anxious. In my heart, I was putting my work above anything else including my kids, my family, marriage, etc.

I don’t know why. I just wanted to get it done as fast as I could so I don’t have to deal with my editor and the chores of editing. I thought if I get it done, I will be in peace.

Then, when the paper was published, I became anxious over how I am going to promote the paper. Am I writing emails to enough number of people? Should I have spent some money that I don’t have to promote the PR? Did I write enough articles to publish for my PR? Have I been stuck because I haven’t gotten in touch with enough number of people? Where would I find clients and trainees? What about my existing clients? i haven’t heard anything from them.

Then, the Lord gently reminded me to let His love take over me.

And, I found an article talking about surrendering before Him.

“ It’s not striving but abiding.”

I often forget. I don’t know how I could forget; but I was thinking about how slow my career was promoted. I forget that it was because that’s what God had for me, not because I didn’t do it enough or did it enough. Or, I should have done other methods that people used to promote their careers...

As if I could have placed myself where I am today. I forget that it’s God who brought me this far according to the time and plan that He had in His mind.

I forget that I can’t even write a single word on a paper, let alone a publication on my own.

Lord, I ask for your glory.

I want to see your beauty. I am sorry that I was proud and wrong. Instead of abiding, I tried to pursue my own pride. I ask for forgiveness.

Lord, I want to see your beauty. I want to see your glory. I didn’t come here to be just here, Lord. I want to see your beauty.

Lord, change me so I can abide in you, Jesus.

6 notes · View notes

codeofelm · 5 years

Text

Day 9 - Unity & DoozyUI - Practicing Menus

So today, I opened Unity and most likely lost all my work more than once.

Please forgive me.

First things first, I noticed that Unity had yet another version out. Unity 2019.2.8f1. Of course, being the junkie that I am I immediately decided to upgrade the project and supersede the previous one. Something I shouldn’t be doing, but will likely continue doing until major progress is made on the project. Or so I tell myself.

Upgrading

Upgrading is just the click of the button. While I waited for this process, I moved onto to working on the projects GDD, also known as a Game Design Document. This is because you’d be surprised how much functionality you just ‘assume’ will work a certain way. It’s always better to plan these things and see the problem ahead of time.

When Unity finally did open, it opened on a very empty scene. The menu and menu scene I had created previously, was not there. (I later realised it was probably on a different branch that through my own dumbness was also destroyed.)

For reference, above is the last simple menu I implemented. I managed to learn about canvases, and buttons and played around with them being responsive. It was actually relatively simple.

Fixing the broke

I noticed some packages I had were now out of date. These were default packages that the project just happened to have. The Test Framework Package and the Rider Editor Package. I assumed the best thing to do was make sure everything I had was now up to date, whether I needed it or not. You never know.

Of course, the first thing I did once this was all done was try and build it. It was now an empty scene, but the project would not build. Strange.

And a little scary.

The debug log showed me that the Rider Editor was causing a lot of issues. I had no idea what I needed it for, so I searched it up. It was a package that allowed a better workflow between the Rider IDE. I don’t use this, and probably never will. So it’s now gone. With that out of the way I installed DOTween and DoozyUI 3.

The game finally built. Sure it was an empty blue screen, but at least all the errors were out of the way.

I updated the .gitattributes and .gitignore files to stop giving me crlf to lf errors and allow me to submit onto github, and I drew up a main menu mockup that ended up being a little too spooky.

Placement wise though, I think it’ll be okay. For the title font, in this placeholder at least, I wanted something a little quirky and ended up going for the font Pacifico. It’s a free google font, meaning its good for both commercial and personal use.

Next I changed my Master Canvas to be relative to screen size and set its anchors to the center. This means whatever screen size you’re viewing on, it should scale to the right dimensions instead of trying to stay in a fixed place and look awful. To make my life easier, I’ll be creating this project in a 4K resolution, so I only have to deal with scaling down instead of scaling up - to preserve quality. I really have a problem with wanting everything to be the best quality it could possibly be.

Then I reopened Github, and saw a lot of conflicting files. Was I on the right branch? I don’t know, it was all a terrible mistake.

Of course, after trying to fix up this mess something broke and things won’t build. I managed to restore the main menu set up from the bin, but was going to have to set up the connections again.

I reimported all my external assets (DoozyUI and Discourse) just to be on the safe side of things.

Then it broke again. By broke I mean I messed up by switching branches, mid project, while it was open and it became a real mess full of conflicts. I should know better.

The solution here is probably to not work on something so infrequently you forget about another branch and potentially lose all your work. So my new approach, is now that I’ve got this out of the way. To make every fortnightly build, its own branch moving forward. Originally, i wanted to split branches up by features, but I imagine I will wait until the very base of the game’s functionality is complete, and all that’s left to implement is the content heavy events. Such as dialogue and art. Those can be split into event specific branches.

Needless to say, if you do it wrong. Version control can be a real fickle bitch.

On the other hand, it’s probably my saving grace. I can recreate the menu much cleaner now, and have some better ideas on how I would do things. I also really could have rolled back to a previous version.

Reviewing the build

I checked out the build, the framerate was perfectly fine, but it felt a little slow. I probably needed the transitions to come in a lot faster. 1-2 seconds can feel awfully slow when you’re used to an immediate response.

The last unity build was only 83 MB. This might be a lot to some, considering all I put in was a fancy menu, but I appreciate how Unity strips out everything it feels isn’t being used. Somehow my previous build was actually bigger at 90 MB. I’ll have to see how it runs on other machines, and make use of loading screens. I’ll also have to get familiar with the Unity Profiler, but this may be a Unity Pro only option - something I’ll have to look into.

The unity documentation does have a few guides to optimising for mobile, which while not a goal currently -it’s not something I want to rule out just yet.

What’s Next?

Next on my To Do List for build 0.1.2 is:

Complete more UI visual concept.

Including an about/social media toggle button on the main menu.

Re-do the main menus in grayscale, so it doesn’t impact the design choices. Right now I’m focusing on placement, not colours.

Main Menu

Settings

Gallery

Remove menu/slide backgrounds and keep all main menu transitions on a low opacity alpha.

Remove button text from heart, possibly change it to an exit menu.

Implement a windowed mode, and include choices for this in the settings menu.

Allow options to change screen resolution

A help tutorial when you press play, and a help button to access it at anytime from then on.

Set up Graphics Quality toggles

Add in a splash screen scene (other than the Unity opening screen).

Add a Do you want to Quit? Popup, and code it in so it’s functional.

Toggle this so the popup comes up when you press escape, rather than ESC leading straight to quitting the application.

Do some research on existing GUIs from things like visual novels. Iv’e received recommendations such as:

Will: A Wonderful World

My Only Sunshine

The Shadows That Run Alongside Our Car.

Which should be due on the 19/20 of this month. See you then!

#Companion #To Do List #Gamedev #UI #UX #madewithunity #menu #gif #design #dailyjournal #DoozyUI

1 note · View note

larryssunflower · 6 years

Text

TRR AU- The Non Royal Romance -Part four

Please read past parts to catch up!

A special thank you to @simplyaiden-blog who helped me out with my intense writer's block!! Seriously this girl is my editor who helps me with parts im stuck on and always is super helpful with brainstorming about each part! (she is also gorgeous omg!!) Love ya girlie!!

I’m sorry for taking so long with this chapter!! Please forgive me!

Summary/teaser. Part one part two part three

Tagging my lovelies 💕- @simplyaiden-blog @butindeed @mfackenthal@confessionsofabrokegirl @american-duchess @drakelover78@monosodiumglutamateme @crookedslimecreatorpasta@mrsdrakewalkerblog @traeumerinwitzhelden @gardeningourmet@speedyoperarascalparty @agent-zephyrkah @liam-rhys@snyggflicka

——

Drake’s Pov-

The sun shines high above us as we make our way down the docks for the Royal Regatta. The princess and Queen Mother Regina talk as they stroll down the dock towards the boat. They have finished the announcement and we’re about to get on board to begin the first race. “Please wait a moment with Walker while I go scout out the yacht, your highness,” Davidson, a man of the Queen's guard, says to the royal women before turning and walking onto the boat to scope it out. “How are you baby?” Queen Regina asks Alana softly, cupping her cheek. Alana reddens, her eyes flicking to me for a moment before looking down. “I’m fine mother.” She says, averting her gaze in embarrassment.

“Hell Yeah! Let’s win this baby!” A loud voice sounds from behind us, making me turn around warily to see Maxwell running down towards us, a mischievous grin on his face. This should be fun. Alana runs past me, throwing her arms around him, shrieking with laughter. Davidson comes back down, informing the Queen that the boat is clear and ready for Maxwell and Alana. She nods before calling out to her daughter. Alana and Maxwell walk over, taking and laughing as they make their way onto the boat. “Good Luck Mr. Walker,” the Queen says to me with a knowing smile, before taking her leave with her bodyguard following close behind.

I sigh and make my way up the boat. It’s not like I should even be on this boat, and neither should Alana. It shows favoritism towards Maxwell, but Alana doesn’t seem to care. I walk around the small boat, getting to know the place a bit. “You alright there?” Mage sounds in my ear, making me jump. I always seem to get used to the peace and quiet before she jumps in saying something. “I’ll be fine Mage, thank you,” I mutter as I walk around the small kitchen downstairs. “But you know what happened, like back when-“ She says, and I cut her off. “I’m fully aware of what happened Mage. And I’ll be fine. I’m here to protect Alana and I will. It’s my job and I can’t let personal things affect my work,” I say sternly. “Well, shouldn’t you be watching her then?” Mage says cheekily, unaffected by my strong tone.

“You’re right,” I sigh, walking back up to the deck of the boat. I look for Alana for a minute, then spot her, in a red bikini, lounging on a sunbed with Maxwell. My stomach swoops at the sight of her. “Damnnn” Mage curses in my ear, making my face heat up. I can't help gazing at her long tan legs, stretched out in front of her relaxedly. Her face is peaceful, her eyes closed and her mouth parted slightly. I can't even comprehend how someone is just that beautiful. I glance over and spot Maxwell setting up his phone to the speakers to presumably play some terrible music. My eyes flick back to Alana, who just slightly moved, stretching her enticing body out more. My eyes wander up her toned body like they have a mind of their own, making my face burn. Jesus, get a hold of yourself man. I force myself to look away, and out to the sparkling blue sea.

Soon enough the Queen announces the start of the race, and the boat lurches forward quickly, the hired boatmen working hard. I grab the railing quickly, stabilizing myself. I close my eyes for a moment, calming myself down. Don’t freak out. Don’t freak out. I repeat in my head, taking a deep breath. Alana’s voice suddenly breaks through my clouded brain, her voice loud and clear. “Drake, who do you think will win?” She asks, turning to me, her hand shielding her eyes from the bright sun. I blink at her for a moment, before I come back to reality. “Oh hopefully, Maxwell,” I say, clearing my throat. She nods, a small smile on her face. “I hope so too,” She says, turning back to Maxwell to start up a conversation. I take another deep breath, thinking to myself. How does she do that so effortlessly? She instantly clears my head yet clouds it up at the same time.

What has this woman done to me?

---

Alana’s Pov:

Leaning against the railing beside Maxwell, I chuckle in amusement as he attempts to sing along Cardi B, his face scrunched up as he tries to keep up to her fast rapping. We are about halfway through the race, quickly moving through the clear blue sea. I glance down, noticing my empty glass and turn around, heading back to the sunbed where the iced champagne lies. Our boat is just about to turn around the boey and it seems like we’re in the lead so far. I try not to look at Drake as I walk nearer to him. Hes standing right next to the sunbed, his hands folded in front of him. Being exposed like this in a bikini is fun when I’m stretching out, trying to get his attention, but I can't help feeling self-conscious being this exposed.

I place my drink down and I’m about to reach down to the bottle when the boat turns sharply, catching me off guard. I slip, losing my footing. my eyes widen and I let out a squeal as I rapidly fall towards the railing and water. Knowing there no way I’m going to be able to save this, I brace myself for the tough landing, scrunching up my face and tensing my body.

I fall against something hard, still bracing until I feel the boat straighten out and slow down. I’m not in water, but I know that I’m not against the railing. I blink slowly in confusion, and my eyes adjust to the bright light. Drake’s concerned face comes into view, and my heart skips a beat. He caught me? Its Drake’s warm arms that are wrapped around my almost entirely bare body. I realize that my own hands are clutching onto his shoulders tightly, my legs intertwined with his. I feel winded as I stare up at him. I don't know if it's because of the fall or the fact that im in Drakes' arms. I can barely even breathe as I gaze up at his deep eyes, my heart pounding in my chest. The world around him seems to blur and all I see is him.

It feels right, being wrapped up in his arms like this. Even if I wanted to move, I don't think I could. I’m lost in this moment, completely compelled within his brown eyes, drawn to him like a moth to a flame. Even this close, doesn’t seem close enough. All I want is to be even closer to him, to close the distance between us, to feel his lips on mine; my fingers in his hair. How does he have this effect on me?

Even as I gaze upon his steely brown eyes, he’s hard to read, but I swear I can feel the same passion I have for him reverted in my direction. Like we’re being pulled together like magnets.

So close

So very close.

Just a little bit more-

“Oh man! That was insane!” Bursts in an over-exuberant Maxwell, grinning from ear to ear. At this point his hands are on both of our shoulders, suddenly bringing me out of the trance I was in. “And Drake! Coming in with that save! What a hero!” Maxwell praises, clapping his shoulder. My skin suddenly feels red hot and Drake and I spring apart at the same time. He awkwardly coughs, scratching the back of his neck. I tuck my hair behind my ear, my face hot. How long were we like that? It could have been hours, days, but it doesn't feel long enough. Did Drake feel that too? Did he feel that desire that I felt? Anytime during that moment, he could have moved away.

But he didn’t.

Maxwell seems oblivious to my embarrassment as he starts jabbering off to me, talking excitedly about something that I’m not really paying attention to. Maxwell starts walking back to the front of the boat, gently guiding me with him. I glance over my shoulder at Drake, who is watching us walk away, looking just as dumbfounded as I feel.

—-

Because of my fall, the boat had slowed down to avoid further damage. Liam’s boat then overtook us, therefore being the winner. We dock last, and I make sure to put back on all my clothes again. We say a quick goodbye to Maxwell before Drake escorts me to where Liam is waiting because I need to congratulate him on his win and take photos for the press. Once we break through the crowd, I spot Liam. His face brightens as he notices me. He’s standing on a small platform, my mother behind him underneath a tent. Drake stays back on the ground as I climb up the stairs to the platform. Liam offers his hand as i come up the last step. I smile in thanks, and he bows, kissing my hand. “Hello Princess Alana,” He says, grinning up to me.

“Congratulations Liam,” I say politely, and he straightens out, his hand lingering on mine. “If it meant winning a million races for just a moment of your time, it’s worth it,” He says, and the crowd lets out a chorus of “aww’s” as they swoon at his comment. I just laugh lightly, my cheeks heating up a bit. “Always the charmer,” I smile, and he shrugs, his grin still very much apparent.

“Princess! Princess! Can we get a picture!” The paparazzi shout at us. Liam turns to me with suggestive eyebrows. “Shall we?” He asks, motioning for me to get closer for a picture, his arm out. I nod, smiling. I can feel Liam as he respectively places his arm around my waist, his hand resting on my hip. My eyes immediately find Drake, who is staring unwaveringly at Liam’s hand, a stony expression on his face. His jaw clenches and his eyes flick up to mine. The second they do, my stomach swoops and I force myself to look away, trying not to find excitement in the fact that he hates Liam’s arm around me.

What am I doing? Why am I trying to catch the eye of my bodyguard while I have such a handsome man on my arm? I think to myself angrily before turning and smiling wide for the pictures. He did look pretty jealous. I think, not being able to stop the fluttering of my heart. No, its just because hes my bodyguard. He is just naturally suspicious of anyone. I argue with myself, trying to seem reasonable. There's no way that he feels that way for me.

It's funny that with Drake. his arms seemed like they were supposed to be there. Supposed to be wrapped around me. With Liam, his arm feels foreign, like it's not supposed to be there.

“What do you think Alana?” Liam abruptly says, and I just blink at him. “What?” I ask, and the crowd laughs. “I said, What do you think about meeting up at the beach party?” Liam chuckles, and I smile. “Oh! Of course,” I say graciously and unbelievably, his smile grows more. “I’m looking forward to it,” He winks, leaning forward and kissing me on my cheek, making the crowd swoon once again. I just smile and nod, as he steps down and heads to his car which will then take him to the private beach party.

I head back down the platform, and while I’m halfway down the stairs, a hand comes into view. Drakes' hand. He has it out, offering to give me support as I descend down. Great. Now he thinks I’m a clutz. I still grab his hand anyway, grateful for any contact with him. He leads me to the car, as we go I smile and wave to the crowd, blowing a couple kisses. We reach the car, and drake opens the door for me. I graciously step in, and he closes it for me before sitting up front with the driver.

I instantly slump into my seat, rubbing my forehead as I sigh deeply.

What has this man done to me?

---

We arrive at the beach in no time, the fun beach music thumping loudly. I change from clothes over my bathing suit to a flowy dress which doubles as a cover-up. I think I’m ahead of Drake as I lean forward, starting to open the door before he can get to it. I don't need him for everything. He then opens it at the same time, and I fall forward, into his arms once again. He just clears his throat and I look up at him, my hands clutching tightly on his arms. He cocks an eyebrow at me, a small smirk in the corner of his mouth. Fuck you, I think as I jump up and off him quickly, brushing myself off. “I think I’m a little off today, I’m not usually this clumsy,” I say, trying to sound convincing as he just nods, humming slightly. “. Of course Princess,” He mumbles, nodding, amusement glinting in his eyes. I’m gonna get you back, just you watch.

I grumble and stalk ahead of him, making a beeline to Maxwell, who is currently talking to Allie who is standing behind one of the buffet tables, holding serving tongs. “Hey, guys!” I say happily, and they both turn to me. “Hey sexy lady,” Allie says jokingly, making Maxwell look at her. “I thought I was your sexy lady,” He says in mock disappointment, making both of us laugh. “Well, is there anything I can get for you ladies?” Allie asks, clicking her tongs at us. I get a couple sliders (if I got an actual burger it may cause a scandal) and a coconut drink. We stand around, talking and laughing for a while, enjoying the sun. I have to keep stopping the conversation everytime someone comes up to us, starting a new conversation with me.

“Here, let's go to our cove for some privacy,” Maxwell says quietly, and Allie and I nod. When we were all in middle school, we found a secret beach and declared it as our own. You have to pass through a vine wall to get to it. beyond that is one of the prettiest beaches you will ever see. The white sand is nearly untouched and we have a little ‘hut’ we set up with string lights, old pictures as decor, and a cooler full of expired sodas and some ‘stronger’ stuff. We start towards it, making sure no one sees us as we go.

Drake’s Pov:

“Where are you going?” I ask as I spot Maxwell, Allie and Alana we are heading somewhere. Alana freezes before turning around with a guilty smile. “Oh hey! Drake, what's up bud? We-” “-Tell me the truth,” I say, crossing my arms. She slumps her shoulders in defeat. “Fine! You can come,” She says, before turning back around, following Maxwell and Allie through the brush. I start following half because it's my job and half in pure curiosity.

We walk through the brush of the beach, away from the party. Where are we going? The three of them are nearly silent as they make their way through the trees. We break through this vine wall, which opens into a secret beach. It looks untouched beside some strange structure with string lights an a cooler. Maxwell immediately removes his shirt and shoes, running into the water. Allie does the same, going down to her underwear and following him in, shrieking with laughter as Maxwell tackles her into the waves. I head toward the strange structure, looking closely. I glance around to see Alana remove her cover-up and head to a cheap sun lounger I assume they once dragged here. She picks up a bottle of sunscreen, sitting down on the lounger, starting to apply the sunscreen to her arms, legs, and stomach.

I turn back around, looking at some of the pictures pinned to the structure and the cooler. I can make out three kids, clearly, Alana, Maxwell, and Alie when they were younger. I can’t help a small smile forming on my face at the goofy picture. Alana has set up the camera with a timer but clearly didn’t quite make it in time. Allie and Maxwell are sitting smiling and Alana is just a blur of tan, trying to dive into the photo on time.

“Drake,” I hear Alana call and I turn back to her, who is looking over her shoulder at me. I sigh, walking up to her. “Yes?” I ask with a sigh. “Can you please apply the rest of the sunscreen on my back?” Alana asks, a sly smile on her face. I’m taken aback for a moment before I speak again, my heartbeat speeding up. “U-uh don't you think that's uh- inappropriate?” I ask, and she just shrugs. “It's your job to protect me, correct? Allie and Maxwell are already distracted by the water. You wouldn't want me to get burnt now would you?” she asks slyly, this time looking up at me, her eyes challenging me. This woman is gonna be the death of me. I clear my throat. “I suppose not,” I say quietly, making her smile. She scoots forward on the sun lounger, giving me some room. I feel hot in my black suit jacket so I take it off, folding it over a low branch.

The bed dips down slightly as I sit down on it, Alana right in front of me. She slowly brings her hand up, brushing her hair to the side smoothly. Maxwell and Allie are distracted in an intense water fight, shrieking and laughing as they do. My heart pounding, I squeeze a bit of sun lotion onto my palm. I look up at Alana, who is sitting, unmoving, looking forward. I rub my hands together before bringing them up onto her back and she shivers slightly, a small moan escaping her lips, torturing me. I swallow thickly, running my hands down her toned back, hearing her suck in a breath as I do. I circle my hands, trying to massage the lotion well into her skin. Or I might just not have the willpower to stop touching her.

Since the moment we let go earlier, after her fall, I've been craving her. To be close to her. To touch her. I know it’s wrong but I can't help be captivated by this incredible person in front of me. I just can't quite figure her out. I finally force my hands from her tantalizing body, standing up quickly. She sighs deeply, standing up as well. “Thank you,” She says, her voice quiet. I just nod, turning around.

“Don't worry about it, Princess,”

-- end of part four--

Thanks for reading!! I hope you guys enjoyed it!! Sorry again that it took so long! I promise to be much more active from now on! I’m also planning on a new fic that I will start to publish in mid-November to December!

#The Non-Royal Romance #drake #drake walker #mc x drake #trr drake #part four #trr #pixelberry #mc #choices #playchoices

44 notes · View notes

theblueroute · 5 years

Text

On March 27, four Widener English majors–all Blue Route staff members–and two faculty members traveled to Portland, Oregon to attend the annual Association of Writers and Writing Programs conference. Along with nearly 12,000 other writers, readers, editors, and publishers, the team enjoyed three amazing days of panels, networking opportunities, enlightening readings and keynotes speeches, and of course, the pacific northwest! Read on for a few words from all four senior English majors about their time in Portland!

Kelly Bachich Carlie and I signed up for an hour of manning the FUSE table in the book fair section of the conference. While we were setting up, Carlie nudged me and said, “Kelly, doesn’t that dog on that poster over there look just like the one you wrote about in Historical Fiction class?” Low and behold, I look over and the juxtaposing booth is sporting a poster of Laika, the space dog from the Sputnik II mission that I had just written about the week before coming to AWP. Naturally, I had to go over and investigate. I asked the woman working the booth why Laika was on the poster and she informed me that their book press had published an author who just wrote a biography on Laika. Not only were they selling copies, but he would be there signing them in an hour!

I purchased the book and stood waiting in line, mustering up the courage to ask the author, Kurt Caswell, if I could send him my short piece to read. I am a pretty confident and outgoing person but, for some reason, the minute I was next in line I almost chickened out. I told him about the poster and why I had to buy his book and meet him to tell him that I had also just written about Laika. He handed my book back to me after a really great conversation about Laika and I knew my window to ask him to read my story had closed. Then, to my complete shock, he asked me to send him my story to read and even gave me his personal email to send it to. I was elated.

Later that night, Rohan met a panelist named Shayla Lawson who wrote a poetry chapbook mixed with Frank Ocean songs and got us invited to a “battle of the bands” where she performed her work with her band. One of the opening acts, however, incorporated the song “Space Oddity” by David Bowie into his piece. The minute I heard the lyrics my head snapped over to look at Carlie who was already staring at me, mouth agape. “Space Oddity” is also an integral part of my short story about Laika. In a three-page story there is not much room and for two major aspects to crop up so blatantly at AWP had to be a sign for me to continue working with that piece. AWP is an invaluable resource for English and creative writing majors, it is a hub for creative minds and a space where we can feel important and bond with other professionals.

Vita Lypyak The first panel I attended at AWP was one of my favorites. It was titled “Translators Are the Unacknowledged Ambassadors of the World,” which is a play on the famous Percy Bysshe Shelley quote, “women are the unacknowledged poets of the world.” I speak two languages besides English, so languages and translation is something that always interested me. The final panelist opened my eyes to the Iranian culture and the struggles associated with translating Iranian literature to English. Unlike the first two panelists, she explained that Iran, as a nation, hinders its own artist by utilizing strict censorship and even executing writers. As a whole, this panel made me understand the crucial role translators have in the dissemination of literature. It helped me understand that translating is also a form of creative writing; a translator has to not only present the same meaning of the original work, but also closely match the same style.

In a sense, translators are poets and makers of things, too; they give readers access to things they could have never reached, due to a language barrier. AWP features a lot of intellectually stimulating and educational panels, which are great, but they can also cause a lot of mental fatigue. By attending poetry readings and readings of other kinds, it really helps your mind slow down and recharge, at least that was my experience. At “A Wild Girls Poetry Reading,” I was particularly moved by one poet, who wrote a collection of poetry where she was attempting to deal with the grief associated with her younger brother’s suicide. The stories she told the audience and the poetry she read were so raw and they made me empathize with her so much. I attended this reading on the first day and I could not stop thinking about her work. Her words impacted me the entire trip to the point that on the last day, I went and bought her book. I had to or I would never forgive myself. After I purchased it, I sat outside and read it from cover to cover, and her words continued to move me.

Rohan Suriyage I decided to go to Page Meets Stage, a reading that is a yearly tradition at AWP. This was the best decision I made throughout the time of the conference. The reading consisted of five poets reading and performing poems after one another, “popcorning” in order and choosing what to perform based on what was read before them. The panel was led by Taylor Mali, four-time poetry slam champion and arguably the most famous American spoken word poet, and consisted of other notable poets like Anis Mojgani, Mark Doty, and Shayla Lawson. For the whole hour I just sat there, mouth agape, at the incomparable stage presence and refined performing art they all shared with the room. When it was time for Shayla Lawson to read, she prefaced her poems in explaining they were all from a book of poems inspired by Frank Ocean, an R&B artist and one of my main artistic inspirations. When Shayla finished performing “Strawberry Swing” from her poetry book I Think I’m Ready to See Frank Ocean I struggled to retrieve my jaw from the floor and knew I had to speak to her after. Upon the panel’s conclusion I was able to do so.

We talked about Frank and our common interests, and after we spoke, she invited me to come to a reading she was orchestrating in downtown Portland. Of course, I obliged and I ended up going after the last of the panels of the day. In the library room of the Heathman Hotel, I heard Shayla and 4 of her colleagues read marvelous poetry. All of them are part of an association of writers called the Affrilacians, about 2,000 southern writers strong (per Facebook). Two of them I met and spoke with, published poet and educator Mitchell L.H. Douglas and former Kentucky poet laureate and educator Frank X Walker. Both were incredibly down to earth men who gave me insight on getting published and furthering my education, and I thank them for that. To whoever made the decision to take me as one of the students to go on AWP this year: thank you. Thank you. What I owe you can never be repaid. This was a span of days I can’t see myself ever forgetting, a span of days I firmly believe will prove to be important as I further my writing career.

Carlie Sisco One of the panels I attended was titled “8 Techniques Guaranteed to Take Your Script to the Next Level.” Using examples of films such as “Juno,” “Star Wars: A New Hope,” “Pulp Fiction,” and “Little Miss Sunshine” among others, this panel offered techniques relative to character, scene structure, descriptions, and dialogue. Though I do not write screenplays myself, I have always loved reading the screenplays to my favorite movies and television shows. It makes a very visual experience feel like reading a book. This panel demonstrated the ways in which some screenwriting techniques have the ability to transcend into fiction writing, because, even if I am not worrying about camera angles, it is still storytelling. Screenwriting can sound like a novel just as a novel can read like a screenplay.

Something that stood out to me in particular had to do with a tip on character development: “we watch movies because we want to connect with our characters.” Is that not the same for fiction writers? Shouldn’t I also be focusing on want versus desire, asking emotional questions in scenes, considering symbolism and foreshadowing, making my language visual or finding imaginative ways to introduce my characters? Isn’t it good advice regardless of the medium to think about increasing tension and suspense by slowing down, using misdirection to reveal information, or revealing my characters through their actions? I chose to go to a variety panels on screenwriting and playwriting not because I want to try my hand at either one, but because I know that the techniques between them and fiction writing are interchangeable. I also know that films and television serve as my influence, the driving force that compels me to provide visual detail and intricate characters. I would not have been able to explore what that means to my writing or how related the two mediums are had I not been given this opportunity. My path may not have been the one most fiction writers would typically take, but I think that is what was so amazing about AWP at the end of the day. I was able to find what interested me and gained insight from an influencing medium all while taking my own unique path.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

by Carlie Sisco

Recently our senior staff members attended the 2019 AWP Conference in Portland. Click the link to read about their experience! #AWP2019 On March 27, four Widener English majors–all Blue Route staff members–and two faculty members traveled to Portland, Oregon to attend the annual…

#AWP #Books #Creative writing #Poetry #short stories #Undergraduate Writing #Widener University #Writing

1 note · View note

ibitchytimemachine · 6 years

Link

Chapters: 22/30 Fandom: Dragon Ball Rating: Mature Summary:

MEDIEVAL AU: Princess Bulma's home is attacked in the night by an unknown enemy. She flees to her homelands strongest ally, the country of Vegeta to beg the King for his army's aid, and finds an unexpected friend his his proud, gruff eldest Son Vegeta. VegeBul, Slow burn.

*Ninja edit: The writer got in touch with me so I can tag her now! @neala-ernswa

Thoughts below the cut. Beware spoilers!

I had a really hard time reading this one. The story is interesting, good. I like the AU. Vegeta’s character is OOC, but that doesn't bother me. The moments of smut in this fic are really hot. Something about when Vegeta tells Bulma she tastes like a peach did things to me. The moments they are together physically are vivid, romantic, sexy. The writer incorporated things like the Oozaru and characters such as Piccolo and 18 in an interesting way. I like how physically brazen the writer makes Bulma also. Bulma kicks the shit out of Raditz and it is hilarious and after what I am calling Bulma’s heroes journey she fucking kills King Cold. She is badass. The meat of this fic is nicely written, but it is obvious, in the middle chapters especially, that editors were needed. The grammar and spelling is rough. Honestly it did slow me down reading, but I enjoyed the immersion enough that I could forgive the flaws. I feel like the writer had great ideas, but needed refinement to the style and technique of this story.

I liked this story, I don't read a story to the end if I don't enjoy something about it, but the thing that really made me want to share this story happens in Chapter 17: The Kings Final Accent (I am pretty sure they meant Ascent, but this is the type of spelling/grammar issue I was talking about earlier). In the story Bulma has lost her whole family. Her father was killed in an attack from the Colds. In her culture, the (I’m fairly sure this is only royal) survivors are responsible for making sure their loved ones get from the palace to the Temple. Because Bulma is the lone survivor of her family she is tasked with doing this by herself. This is almost her hero’s quest. She must pull a cart with her fathers remains up a steep hill to the Temple and push him into flames so he will move on to the afterlife. She struggles. She has doubts. She is alone and resolved to do this in a way that would make her people proud. She falters and a young girl comes to her aid. Not Vegeta, not ChiChi, not a member of the house guard or army. A peasant girl. This was a poignant moment for me personally because it reminds us that no matter what we think we can do, it is important to remember that people care. People are inherently good, and want to help.

I have really struggled with depression and anxiety and my family situation makes it hard to settle down. We move a lot. I just got to another new city, am trying to ingratiate my daughter into another new school with more new friends. I am job hunting again, while staying home alone with our two year old. My husband works a lot. His job is 40 minutes away (this is where we could afford to live) his schedule has him leaving at 9 in the morning and getting back around 9 or 10 in the evening. He is also working on his dissertation so he is constantly studying and writing. I am not good with making friends. I worry about what to say to people and I worry I am bothering them. When I move away from a place, it is incredibly difficult for me to continue a relationship with the people I have grown close to. So it is safe to say I have no real friends. The few good friends I do have are those friends who you don't really talk to much but the second you get together with its like you haven't been apart. Except I am apart from them. They are on the other side of the country, and here I am trying yet again to start over at 34. I’m not good at making friends online, or ingratiating myself into online communities, so online friends are really not a thing for me. My skill set is quite specialized and the market for my skills in my area are saturated, so I would have to take a low paying entry level job, which adds to the issue of trying to meet people.

All of the above was a way to say that I understand Bulma’s character in this chapter. I feel her pain. Sure she has Vegeta right behind her, but she is alone in this task. She has friends and people who she cares about and who care about her, however she has no one who truly understands her plight and the pressure she is under at this moment. Vegeta is there, but he has not suffered the loss she has. She is alone in her grief and there are no others who can truly understand her. Then the girl, who Bulma calls pure, identifies that there is this person who is broken and in need and regardless of what society thinks is acceptable reaches out and helps. It is exactly what Bulma needs, support. This chapter was phenomenal.

I would recommend this story to anyone who wants a VegeBul fic in a high magic type of setting. If you can look past the issues I talked about earlier and want a romantic slightly OOC Vegeta,and and interesting almost Game of Thrones kind of world you may enjoy this fic.

If you liked this review, after you check out this fic, head over to my A03 and check my stuff out too!

#bulma #vegeta #bulma x vegeta #vegebul fanfiction #ao3 #fan fiction review #AU #slow burn #interesting world building #recommending for personal reasons #Spelling errors #grammar issues #still a good story #BTM Fic Review

20 notes · View notes

filmstruck · 6 years

Photo

Learning the Ropes: Early Scorsese by R. Emmet Sweeney

Martin Scorsese is not just a name, but a phrase that conjures a world of lower east side street corners, Italian-American toughs and mob rituals. He has built a remarkable resume over 50 years of filmmaking and preservation work that has managed to retain outsized artistic ambitions as Hollywood’s continues to shrink. He has become a living institution, which can sometimes obscure some of the work that built that reputation. FilmStruck is programming three early Scorsese films to re-acquaint ourselves with a portrait of Scorsese as a young director: WHO’S THAT KNOCKING AT MY DOOR (’67), MEAN STREETS (’73) and ALICE DOESN’T LIVE HERE ANYMORE (’74). Today I am writing about the two lesser-known films, WHO’S THAT KNOCKING and ALICE, which show Scorsese inhabiting and reaching beyond his roots.

WHO’S THAT KNOCKING AT MY DOOR took four years for Scorsese to make and get into theaters, first conceived in 1965 while he was still an undergrad at NYU. He received $5,000 in seed money from his professor Haig Manoogian (listed as a producer). It was intended to be the second part of a trilogy in which MEAN STREETS would be the conclusion. The first being the never-produced JERUSALEM, JERUSALEM. The trilogy was to be a semi-autobiographical story of a lower east side NYC striver named J.R. (Harvey Keitel in his first feature – he was making a living as a court stenographer), hanging out in social clubs in between short-term jobs, hoping for a break. The film went through many variations, first as a short film called Bring on the Dancing Girls, which was then incorporated into a feature called I Call First (where it premiered at the Chicago International Film Festival and was positively reviewed by Roger Ebert).

It received its final form after sex film distributor Joseph Brenner agreed to pick it up if Scorsese would add some nudity. Scorsese described to Anthony DeCurtis in 1991: “We shot it in Holland, because I was up in Amsterdam doing some commercials for a friend of mine. We flew Harvey [Keitel] over and we got the young ladies there and we did this nude scene. I came back, kind of smuggled it back into the country in my raincoat, put it in the middle of the film and then the film was released. But it was still a rough sketch to me…ah, it’s the old story: if I knew then what I know now it would be different.”

The film follows J.R. as he kills time with his buddies at their social club and at bars drinking the hours away. But there is also a flashback to J.R.’s fractured relationship with a girl (Zina Bethune) he picks up while waiting for the Staten Island Ferry. She reads F. Scott Fitzgerald while he is an expert in Westerns. Their first conversation revolves around John Ford’s THE SEARCHERS (’56), since there is a photo of John Wayne in the French magazine she is reading. They swiftly fall in love, but J.R. is still something of a child, prone to outbursts and totally uncomprehending that a woman can have an inner life of her own. When she reveals that she has been sexually assaulted, instead of offering solace, J.R. is repulsed, his Roman Catholic upbringing thumping in his brain, telling him she must have brought it upon herself.

Scorsese, deeply under the spell of the French New Wave, proceeds with a heavy use of jump cuts, though here it feels like less of a rhythmic element and more of a way to stitch together disparate footage shot years apart. He was lucky enough to hire Thelma Schoonmaker right off the bat, but here was a reclamation job she could not entirely succeed at. But there is remarkable skill and daring on display here, especially in the use of slow motion, superimposition, and especially in the use of music. The closing montage is a quick-cut portrait of a Roman Catholic church, with The Genies’ “Who’s That Knocking” plastered on the soundtrack, forcefully displaying J.R.’s inculcated roots in the church, the source of his warped views on women, as well as his interest in breaking free. Early on he begs his social club boss Joey (Lennard Kuras) to go get a drink in the Village, and is rebuffed. The Village, and later, the Girl played by Zina Bethune, are symbols of escape. But he doesn’t really understand either. He is shocked when the Girl is upset when he “forgives” her for being assaulted, and retreats back to the cocoon of Joey and his neighborhood pals. There is an extended take at the end of a bar – where J.R., Joey and a young kid they dismissively call Sally Gaga (Michael Scala) sit and laugh. They toss napkins at each other, like high-school kids at lunch having spitball wars. They are still, for all intents and purposes, children. And yet they have been loosed upon the adult world and the poor women who will have to suffer their notions of Catholic guilt.

After MEAN STREETS, Scorsese was a hot commodity and instead of doubling down on small time NYC crime stories, he shifted gears into a sweetly romantic road movie – ALICE DOESN’T LIVE HERE ANYMORE. Instead of NYC, it’s the sunbaked climes of New Mexico and Arizona, where a struggling single mom and singer (Ellen Burstyn) is trying to make her way to California to make a living for her son. Opening with credits in Academy ratio and a booming Miklos Rozsa-esque score, it’s clear this is Scorsese’s attempt at a Hollywood melodrama in the Douglas Sirk mode, only filtered through the New Hollywood sensibility.

Ellen Burstyn approached Scorsese to take on the project. According to the AFI Catalog, she had received the script by Robert Getchell from Warner Bros. president John Calley, and though it had been passed over many times, Burstyn was attracted by the character of Alice. Coming off of THE EXORCIST (’73), she was given her choice of director, as well as final script approval (she also advocated for more women to be hired on the crew, including editor Marcia Lucas and art director Toby Carr Rafelson). MEAN STREETS had not been released yet, but it was getting strong early reviews and the two hit it off. They worked on improving the script together and participated in extensive rehearsals and improvisations (the bit about Alice’s first stage act was Burstyn’s improvisation, drawing on her real-life act with her brother).

The movie begins with a fairytale, WIZARD OF OZ-like back lot set, a pigtailed girl walking down a lane to her clapboard house, only this time with way more cursing. It’s a cutesy way to introduce the character of Alice, who is a combination of sweetness and a salty mouth. The film is really a showcase for Burstyn, who appears in nearly every scene, giving a performance of gallows humor and deep pathos. She establishes a natural rapport with Alfred Lutter, who plays her son Tommy. Their relationship is one of mutual needling and teasing, one that can ratchet up to anger at moments of extreme stress. At one of Alice’s low ebbs, when she has to postpone her singing career to take a job as a waitress, they let off steam by getting into a water fight. It escalates from a little joke into a full-blown soaking for both, a diversion of stress into play violence. The duo become expert at coming up with games to lessen the anxiety of their tenuous economic existence. And like on WHO’S THAT KNOCKING AT MY DOOR, the soundtrack provides not just a backbeat but insight into the characters’ lives, from Tommy’s blasting of Mott the Hoople to sensitive-boyfriend type Kris Kristofferson’s mellow take on “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry.”

Where WHO’S THAT KNOCKING AT MY DOOR provides the doomed tough guy Scorsese template that he would elaborate on for the decades to come, ALICE DOESN’T LIVE HERE ANYMORE shows he could apply his talents just as skillfully to the melodrama, as he would occasionally detour to explore again in films like THE AGE OF INNOCENCE (’93, newly out on Blu-ray from Criterion). So while the crime films will always be synonymous with Scorsese, the TAXI DRIVER (’76) and GOODFELLAS (’90), we should expand that association to include ALICE right alongside them.

#FilmStruck #Martin Scorsese #Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore #Who's That Knocking At My Door?#StreamLine Blog #R. Emmet Sweeney #Ellen Burstyn #Harvey Keitel

52 notes · View notes

nomoregraydays · 7 years

Text

Under The Stars (G.D. Fanfic) - Part 9 Archery and Shopping

POV: First person

Word Count: 2,787

A/N: I know that this is not their parents’ names, I just didn’t know them nor feel like looking them up.

****

“Hey babe, I have a semi-serious slash important question to ask you.”

“Mmmhm?” I looked away from my laptop to give him a look to proceed on.

He fiddled with his phone in his hands and finally took a deep breath. “Would you want to come back to Jersey with E and I? Meet our parents, we can eat good food, go dirt biking, four wheeling, all that.”

Obviously, he needed a lot of encouragement to ask me this, and part of me wanted to say no, but I couldn’t do that. I mean, I guess we are at that part of our relationship where I should meet his parents and see where he grew up.

I gave him a smile. “I’d love to do that.”

***

“Why the fuck did I agree to meet your parents?” I let out a deep breath.

Ethan was snickering from the back seat as per usual. “Cause you wove Grayson Bailey Dolan.” He babied.

I rolled my eyes. “Shut up. That may be true.. I just… What if the parents don’t like me?”

Grayson looked back at Ethan and they started to share a similar laugh.

“What?”

“I don’t think either of them will dislike you. My dad may actually want to take you out to the shooting range. That’s his way to get to know someone. My mom… she’ll probably want to go shopping or crafting, that’s her detecting strengths.”

I cocked a brow. “You’re kidding, right? The only guns I’ve ever shot are a pistol and a bb gun. Shopping and crafting.. I’ve mostly got covered.”

Ethan was suddenly in the middle section between Gray and I. “There’s archery too. He’ll probably ask which you prefer. Doesn’t matter which one you choose.”

I hunched over, bringing my knees to my chest, and I made some sort of dying dinosaur sound. Then I stayed there, trying to think of what to do, and pull myself together; it's just how I work.

“Is she okay?”

After a couple seconds, I went back to sitting normally and let out a deep breath. “I’m fine. It’s gonna be fine. If your dad asks, we’ll do archery. It’s been a few years, but it's better than the other. If your mom asks for shopping or crafting, no problem.”

Chanelle now popped up from the backseat. “Dude, I don’t know why you’re being crazy about meeting their parents.”

I huffed lightly. “Really? You don’t? You’re not dating one of their sons.” But she wishes she was.

Her cheeks flushed. “Oh, right.”

Grayson and Ethan exchanged clueless looks, then Grayson looked at me and I shot him a look, switching my eyes to Ethan. These boys can be so horrible with picking up on signals. I’m shocked Ethan doesn’t know Chanelle has feelings for him; though she’s actually pretty good at keeping her cool.

“Do you think your parents will ask me to do that stuff with them?” Chanelle asked as Grayson pulled off onto a dirt road between the walls of trees.

“Uh..” Ethan started, then closed his mouth with a puzzling look. “My mom might, I mean just as a girls day out or something?”

I couldn’t help snorting. “That should be fun. Chanelle, if she asks, please go with.”

“Okay.” She sighed.

I smiled as we all unbuckled and stepped out of the Bronco. I felt my knees wobble a little though and then one locked. I huffed as I kept walking to pop it and sort of limped to the trunk to grab my duffel and backpack from Grayson.

“What’s wrong, babe?” Concern was etched his face.

“My knee locked. It’s fine.” I leaned up to kiss him on the cheek and when I pulled away he was giving me a look. I rolled my eyes. “Seriously, I’ll be fine. Just gotta walk it off. It’s not my first rodeo.”

He didn’t say anything else as we all headed inside to their childhood home. I… How am I moving right now? I feel like I’ve stopped, yet my surroundings keep changing as I walk through different areas in the house. It was more spacious than I was expecting to be honest. What should I have expected? Nothing I ever think is actually reality; most of the time anyways.

A women came into the living room, her brunette hair swaying perfectly as she walked over to her sons for hugs and kisses. Then a tall, broad shouldered man came into the living from what seemed may have been the garage? Okay, I can see how Grayson, Ethan, and Cameron are all attractive. Their parents must’ve been some goals couple, still probably are.

A breath hitched in my throat as both of them looked at me, their mom with brown eyes and dad with blue and friendly smiles were on their lips.

“Hi there.” Her voice was so light, airy compared to the boys, or even Cameron’s. Though, I haven’t actually met Cameron in person yet.

Their dad was upclose in my face now. “Are you okay?”

“Yes.” I cleared my throat. “Yes. Sorry, I’m Kat.” I reached my hand out to shake, but now I was given some weird looks.

Their dad chuckled and tugged me in for a hug. “It’s so nice to meet you. I’m Freddie.”

“Agreed. I’m Laura.” I looked her and could see she was ready for a hug as well.

I was not expecting this reaction. They’re not at all worried about the age difference? Or do they know? I’m just not going to mention it right now.

“Well, the feeling is mutual.” I laughed lightly. “You have a lovely home, from what I’ve seen so far.”

Laura snorted, batting a hand. “Yeah, just wait another hour or so when these two are let loose.”

I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing as Grayson and Ethan came in with groaning protests; I could tell Chanelle was trying not to laugh too.

Freddie and Laura looked at Chanelle now.

“You are?” Freddie prompted.

“A friend of the boys, and Kat. I’m Chanelle.”

Laura gave her a bright smile. “Welcome Chanelle. It's nice to meet you too.”

“Yes. Glad you could make it out too.” Freddie added.

“Thank you.” Chanelle mumbled back, seeming slightly embarrassed; not at all what I was expecting.

“Let us show you to the guest room and you can get settled.” Laura prompted and started to walk away.

“Uh, mom.. thought Kat would stay in my room.”

A slow smirk crossed on Freddie’s face. “Adda boy. That's okay, Kat can stay with you in your room.”

A snort escaped me before I could stop it and I covered my mouth and nose with one hand, but continued to laugh. I cleared my throat finally, “Sorry, sorry.”

Grayson seemed a bit off as we entered his room and he shut the door. He threw his backpack onto his bed and went into the connecting bathroom that Ethan also had access to through a different door; that should be interesting.

“Gray, what's wrong?” I approached the open doorway and rested my head on the siding.

“I…My dad is my dad, but when he made his comment, why did you laugh? Believe it or not, my parents don't know everything that goes on in our relationship. So he didn't know that we didn't have sex yet.”

“Whoa, whoa. Lemme get this straight, you're upset that I basically told your parents we weren't sexually active?”

“Well… my dad, at least.”

I rolled my eyes with a small scoff. Then I sighed lightly as I saw his actual emotions seeping through. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his torso from behind. “Gray... if your dad has ever made you feel bad about not gettin it right away, then fuck him. It's our relationship and we're not ready.”

He sighed heavily and turned around to look at me as he leaned against the counter. “I know… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you because of this personal problem between my dad and I. I'm really sorry.”

I reached up to brush back the fringe that’s growing out. “Babe, you can talk to me about these things anytime. Don't let it build up, and yes, definitely don't snap at me because of it. I forgive you, and always will cause I love you.”

My heart nearly stopped for a moment, then sped up. The words flowed from my lips so easily though, but maybe that's what scares me a little. And I have no idea if he feels that for me yet.

A hint of terror and shock crossed his face, but then a quirky smile spread on his lips. “I love you too.” He dipped his head down to kiss me, slowly, and I smiled.

Not really how I saw saying our first “I love you” going, but it was still wonderful. I'm immensely happy, and I think Gray is too.

***

“So, Kat, what did you say your major was?” Freddie loaded up his blue and orange arrow before stringing back and letting it go at the target; it was nearly a dead center hit.

Clearly, Grayson did not give him much information on me and he was trying to get more of a read; including my age. Well, this is probably going to get worse.

I strung my own red and black arrow with a slight struggle, but then raised my bow to pull it back. I focused as much as I could and tried to not show any shakiness. I let the arrow go, it whipping past my face a little, and it landed on the third ring in; not terrible.

It's really been a while. I sort of forgot the physical strength that goes into archery; it's not easy to master, I only learned from years of girl scouts and other camps.

I cleared my throat. “Uh, I hadn't said yet. My major was creative writing and my minor was graphic design.”

He looked at me a little dumbfounded and he cocked a brow. “You're graduated? You only work now?”

“Yes, I’m a script editor down in LA, Chanelle works there as a screenwriter. I'm twenty-one. Twenty-two in October.” I decided to add it on before he'd ask. It was going to be the follow up question, I know it.

“Huh.” He strung another arrow and made his aim; he hit dead center this time. “Look, I don't mind the age difference. I like the fact you've got a full-time job, you support yourself and you're not taking advantage of Grayson in that way.”

“I never would. Really, I never ask Gray to pay or buy anything for me.”

“Good.” He, now, distracted himself again with shooting. “Cause I know if you were to ask, he'd do or get anything for you. Hell, this kid would probably take a bullet for you. That's the kind of person he is.”

I was a bit stunned and his words hit hard. I cleared my throat. “I know… but I would never ask him to do that.”

Freddie stopped, lowering his bow and arrow, and he looked me dead in the eyes. “I don't think you get it. I know you'd never ask him to, no one would, but he'd do it anyway cause he loves you.”

I swallowed hard. I don’t want to think about Grayson taking a bullet for me or doing anything like that; even though I know his dad’s words were true.

“I'm not exactly sure what you want me to say right now.. I do understand. I don't want him to take a bullet for me. I'd probably push him out of the way and let the bullet hit me cause I love him. I don’t need or want anyone taking their life for me.”

Freddie had still been looking me straight in the eyes, but now he looked away. “Good.” He went back to hit a bullseye and didn’t utter another word.

Part of me was relieved and I went back to doing my archery as well. I think his dad likes me alright, as long as there is no bad air I think I’m good.

***

The air felt more easy as Chanelle, Laura, and I walked through the decent sized mall they had. I think it’s because Chanelle was there, their mom seems more chill, and we’re in a mall.

My eyes set on the Adidas store up ahead and I knew I was in trouble. If you asked me a few years ago if I’d ever shop there, my answer would’ve been Hell no. But times changes, and their shoes are cute and comfy; sort of becoming an aesthetic of mine.

“Would you like to go there? You seem to have that love at first sight look going.” Laura commented with a small laugh.

I looked at Chanelle and she shrugged. “Up to you, my dude.”

I noted the Vans store that was across the way from us. “We could go there next?”

“Sounds good.” She replied as she walked into the Adidas store.

I guess we’re going in.

Laura seemed to stay close as we browsed, though she was silent. Now, though, she stopped and picked up a red, dry-fit style tee that had the three stripes logo on the left side of the chest.

“This would be good for Grayson.” She mumbled.

I cleared my throat. “It would be. Red is a good color for him.. And the style of it would be good for his workouts.”

A smile spread on her lips. “You’re right.”

I was about to offer to pay for it all or part of it, but I think as his mom she’d like to buy it. I pointed to the black on in the same style. “That one would work for Ethan.”

“Thanks. I know there would be a riot if I came home with only a shirt for Grayson. So pricey though..”

Before I could talk myself out of it, I suggested, “I could buy Grayson’s.. You can still say it’s from you.”

I think I may have just unlocked her loving me more mode as she pulled me into a hug. “Freddie told me about the age difference and everything, but I don’t care. I am so happy Grayson has found you.”

I laughed under my breath. “I’m really glad to be with him, really he’s… he’s perfect in every way and I feel completed when he’s around. Like.. I could be in a bad mood and if he comes around I feel better no matter what.”

As she pulled back, she was wiping away at underneath her eyes. “I’m ecstatic to hear you say that. He deserves a girl like you, and Ethan… he should man up and ask that Chanelle out.”

I busted out a laugh. “Wait, did he tell you he likes likes her?” Wow, I felt like I threw myself back into middle school with that ‘likes likes’ phrase; cringe.

“No.” She scoffed lightly, “But moms know their sons. Does she like him?”

I snorted now. “That’s a joke.” Laura looked at me a bit confused. I shook my head. “Yes, she does. A lot, actually.”

A sort of evil look came about Laura’s eyes and I shot her a look.

“What’re you thinking?”

“To get one of the two to ask the other out.”

I really had to bite my tongue to not laugh out loud obnoxiously. “I think Gray mentioned we were all going dirt biking and four wheeling tomorrow, maybe I could convince one of them to ask the other out officially?”

“She does seem like a great girl, and Ethan seems smitten. If you could try, that would be helpful.”

“I’d be a pleasure to help meddling those two together. The tension is getting ridiculous.”

Laura took my hand in hers and started walking us towards the cash register. “This is the beginning of a beautiful bond, Kat.”

“I’m glad.”

I pulled my card out to pay for the red shirt for Grayson and then handed the black bag to Laura. “Here you go.”

I looked around for Chanelle, only to realize she was sitting on one of the benches outside of the store, waiting for us. I approached her with a slight sheepish look. “Sorry, we were deciding on some shirts for the boys.”

“They’ll love them, I think.” Laura added on.

Chanelle jumped up from the bench. “It’s all good. Now, let’s find me some cute ass Vans to show off.”

Yeah, to show off to Ethan. Laura and I exchanged looks after Chanelle had her back to us and we laughed under our breaths as we followed her.

Next: Dirt Dirt (Part 10)

#Grayson Dolan #Grayson Dolan fanfic #Grayson Dolan fluff #Grayson Dolan Imagine #Dolan twins #Dolan twins fanfic #Ethan Dolan #Ethan Dolan fanfic #Fanfic #Fanfiction #Grayson Dolan fanfiction #Ethan Dolan fanfiction #Dolan twins fanfiction #Under The Stars #Archery and Shopping #Meeting the parents #Going to their home

21 notes · View notes