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trini-trin-trin · 3 years

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Sharing this from a FB group that I am in. I was very moved by the article and felt affinity with the experiences shared. A really sweet read.

Here is the article if you don't want to click on the link (I know it is a little long, but well worth your time to read!):

The letter I received ten years ago was unsigned and bore no return address. Clearly its author did not expect, much less want, a reply. A message in a bottle, from no one to no one, that letter still remains the most bizarre form of communication. It asks nothing but to be read, promises nothing but to share a few facts and feelings, and, seeing that it must have been dashed off on a lined yellow sheet that seemed hastily torn out of a pad of paper, the author would not be surprised if, after skimming through it, the recipient decided to crumple and lob it into the closest dust bin.

The letter is one page long. One page is enough. The handwriting is uneven, perhaps because the author had lost the habit of writing in longhand and preferred the keyboard. But his grammar is perfect. The man knew what he was doing. I assume he was writing the note by hand because he didn’t want traces of it on his laptop, or because he knew he was never going to send it as an email and risk a reply. Now that I think of it, he probably didn’t care if it even reached its recipient, a local Bay Area reporter who had mentioned my novel about two young men who fall in love one summer in Italy in the mid-1980s. The reporter eventually forwarded it to me, minus its envelope with the postmark. It took no time to see that all the author of the letter was looking for was a chance to blurt out the words he couldn’t dare breathe elsewhere.

My book had spoken to him. His letter spoke to me.

So here it is: dated April 16, 2008.

I came upon Mr. Aciman’s book while on a business trip back East. Not the type of book I am normally able to read, so I bought a copy for the flight home. I think I’m glad I did.

You see, I was Elio. I was 18 and my Oliver was 22. Though the time and place were different, the feelings were remarkably the same. From believing that you are the only person who has these feelings, to the whole “he loves me – he loves me not” scenario, Mr. Aciman got it right. I was particularly impressed with the attention he gave to the morning after Elio’s and Oliver’s first encounter. The guilt, the loathing, the fear. I felt it too much. I had to put the book down for a while.

But in the end I was able to finish the book before we landed at SFO. Which was good, because I couldn’t take the book home. Unlike Elio it was I who married and had children. My Oliver died from AIDS in 1995. I’m still living a parallel life. My name is not important. His name was Dwight.

Instead, I kept the letter. I kept it for ten years.

What moved me was not just its sobering matter-of-factness or its hint of downplayed sorrow, but the associations it provoked in my mind. It reminded me of those short, clipped messages to loved ones, written by people about to be shipped off to the death camps who knew they’d never be heard from again. There is a chilling immediacy about their hurriedly scribbled notes that say everything there is to say in the fewest possible words — there wasn’t enough time for more, no smarmy pieties, no hand-wringing, no treacly hugs and kisses before the tragic end. It also made me think of the moving phone messages left by those who finally realized they were not going to make it out alive from the Twin Towers and that only their family’s answering machine was going to take their call.

“My name is not important,” he writes, almost as an apology for remaining anonymous; yet the author drops quite a number of hints about himself — hints he likely knows will stir his reader’s wistful curiosity to know what made him write the letter in the first place, what he hoped to accomplish, and if writing did indeed help. The letter itself allows us to see that he travels for business. We also sense that he probably lives in the Bay Area and that he travels not infrequently to the East Coast, since, as he writes, he is “back” in the East. And we know one thing more: that he simply needed to come out and tell someone that a man called Dwight had been his lover when the two were young. The rest is a cloud. We’ll never know more. Writing has served its purpose. We write, it seems, to reach out to others. Whether we know them or not doesn’t matter. We write to put out into the real world something extremely private within us, to make real what often feels unreal and ever so elusive about ourselves. We write to give a shape to what would otherwise remain amorphous. This is as true about authors as about those who want to correspond with them. Over the years, many have written to me either after reading or seeing Call Me by Your Name. Some tried to meet me; others confided things they’d never told anyone; and some even managed to call me at the office and, on speaking about my novel, would eventually apologize before bursting out crying. Some were in jail; some were barely adolescents, others old enough to look back at loves seven decades past; and some were priests locked in silence and secrecy. Many were closeted, others totally out; some were widows who felt a resurgence of hope if only by reading about the loves of two young men called Elio and Oliver in Italy; some were very young girls eager to meet their long-awaited Oliver; and some recalled former gay lovers whom they’d occasionally bump into years later but who’d never acknowledge what they’d once shared and done together when both were schoolmates and neither was married. All were keenly aware of living a parallel life. In that parallel life things are as they perhaps should be. Elio and Oliver still live together. And no one has secrets there.

Unlike Dwight’s lover, everyone who took the time to write to me did not withhold their names, but all had, at one point or another, withheld something very primal. They withheld it from themselves, from a relative, from a friend, a classmate, or colleague, or from a beloved who would never have guessed what troubled longings seethed below their averted gaze whenever they crossed paths.

Some readers wrote to tell me they felt that my novel had changed them, and given them new insights into themselves; some felt it was urging them finally to turn a new leaf in their lives. But some couldn’t go so far and, despite their perfect command of language, confessed lacking the words to explain why they were so moved by my novel or why they felt an unresolved longing for things they’d never considered or desired before. They were experiencing an upwell of emotions and of ungraspable might-have-beens that were asking to be reckoned with because they seemed more real than life itself, a sense of themselves that beckoned from an opposite bank they’d never known was there and whose potential loss now was a source of inconsolable grief. Hence their tears, their regrets, and the overpowering sense of being lost in their own lives.

And yet, they said, theirs were not tears of sorrow. They were tears of recognition, as though the novel itself were a mirror for readers to watch their own emotions laid bare before them. These responses made me aware that Call Me by Your Name does not call attention to anything readers didn’t already know, nor does it bring new truths or revelations; all it does is shed new light on things that were long familiar but that they never took the time to consider. It would be so tempting to say that they are reminded of their forgotten first loves; the truth is that all loves, even those that occur late in life, are first loves. There is always fear, shame, reluctance, and not a tiny dose of spite. Desire is agony.

Everyone who’s read Call Me by Your Name understands not only the struggle both to speak and hold back their truth but also the shame that comes whenever we want something from someone. Desire is always cagey, always secretive — we’ll tell everyone we know about the person we crave to hold naked in our arms, but the very last one to know this will be the person we crave. Same-sex desire is even more guarded and watchful, especially in those who are just discovering their sexuality. Awkwardness and desire are strange bedfellows at a young age, but shame and inexperience are just as paralyzing as fear when we watch them tussling with the urge to be bold. You’re torn between the raw horniness that makes you dream scenes you hope to forget as soon as you’re up and the scenes you pray you’ll dream again and again — if dreams are all you’ll have. Silence and solitude exact a cost that leaves us emotionally wrecked. At some point we need to speak.

So “is it better to speak or die?” asks Elio, the narrator of Call Me by Your Name, quoting words penned by the sixteenth-century Marguerite de Navarre in her collection of tales known as The Heptameron. Marguerite was the sister of King Francis I and the grandmother of Henry IV, himself the grandfather of Louis XIV, hence she was plenty familiar with court intrigue, gossip, and the risks of opening up to someone who may not welcome what’s in our heart and could easily make us pay for it. Not everyone who has written to me has dared to speak their hearts to those they loved. Some have sought silence — slow, lingering droplets of quiet desperation taken every night before bedtime until they realize they’ve been dead and didn’t even know it. Many have written to me with the feeling of having missed their chance when someone tethered his rowboat to their jetty and simply asked them to jump in. “Some sentence or thought on almost every page,” writes a reader, “triggers tears and knots my throat and chest. Tears well up in my eyes on the subway, at my computer at work, walking down the street. Perhaps I am weeping in part because I know that at my age there is virtually no possibility of experiencing anything remotely comparable to what Elio experiences with Oliver.” Someone else writes, “Reading Call Me by Your Name made me feel a love I never had.” A happily married 50-plus colleague took me aside and said, “I don’t think I’ve ever been this much in love in my whole life.” “I'm 23,” tweeted someone else, “and have never felt such love, until I read Call Me by Your Name. I feel like I lived it.” “Elio and I are essentially the same age,” writes a teenage girl. “I have never really experienced his environment of the Italian summer…My experiences have only taken place halfway between nature and smog, however I have felt the same tension, fear, guilt and overwhelming love that you express perfectly through both Elio and Oliver…Finding myself in Elio was something I never expected and I’m positive that I won’t experience anything quite like it ever again. The first girl I ever loved remains…the only girl I have ever loved and though everything she and I shared…lives now as a secret between two friends.” “I finished reading Call Me by Your Name a couple of days ago,” writes someone else, “and wanted to let you know how much it affected me. It felt like a narration of my thoughts that I had systematically buried long ago.” And finally this from a 72-year-old: “I was fascinated by the idea of parallel lives where would I have been if I had gone with him, where would I be if I traveled alone? Maybe the point is just what do I do with the gift you have given me during the remainder of my life.”

There are at least 500 more such letters and emails.

Some find themselves weeping at the end of the film or the novel, not for what happened long ago or for what did not and might never happen in their own lives but for what has yet to happen, for the terrifying moment when they too will soon have to decide whether to speak or die. This from an 18-year-old: “[Your novel] gives me hope that one day I will meet someone whom I desire so badly that I’ll actually find it in me to make a move, the way Oliver is that someone for Elio. Maybe my Oliver will also turn out to be someone that I realize I love as well as desire.” She was crying for a week, as was this 15-year-old young man: “I stopped reading…because I didn’t want [the book] to end, didn’t want the wounds that you caused me to close, I didn’t want to overcome, for some reason that I have yet to find out. I wanted to stay a wreck, emotionally and mentally fragile….My mother handed me tissues because she had never seen me cry like this. I had finished your book and ‘moved’ is too weak a word to express what your book had done to me. Here a week later and it is literally all I can think about, not my midterms coming up, but…Elio and Oliver and if it is better to speak or die. You answered questions I didn’t even think I had.”

Indeed, the whole novel seems to enable the outing of all manner of feelings, feelings from Elio’s relentless inward journey and obsessive self-examination that readers are invited to identify with. Through Elio’s unfettered introspection they too feel exposed and sliced open like a crustacean without a slough, now forced to look at itself in the mirror. No wonder they are moved. The mask that is torn off their faces is not just the mask that conceals same-sex desires from themselves and from others. Rather, it is the realization, through Elio’s voice, of what they truly feel, who they truly are, what they fear, what bears their signature, and what coy little shenanigans they go through to read others and hope to reach them. Some identified with some effusive sentences in my novel so much that they had them tattooed on their bodies. They even attach photos of these tattoos. People have also tattooed peaches on themselves!

But what moves most people — and this is as true now as it was when the novel first came out — is the father’s speech. Here he not only tells his son to nurse the flame and “don’t snuff it out” after his son’s lover has left Italy, but that he too, the father, envies his son’s relationship with a male lover. This speech tears away the last vestige of a veil between reader and truth and is a moving tribute to the irreducible honesty between father and son.

Most readers have written to me about the scene because the father’s speech rekindles the very difficult moment when they decided to come out to their parents — or, as is often the case with people 60, or 70 or older, it reminds them of the conversation they wished they’d had but never did have with their parents. This is the loss no one forgets and from which no one recovers after seeing Call Me by Your Name. It bears the very essence of that precious and life-defining might-have-been moment that never happened and never will.

Here is the speech:

“Look…[y]ou had a beautiful friendship. Maybe more than a friendship. And I envy you. In my place, most parents would hope the whole thing goes away, or pray that their sons land on their feet soon enough. But I am not such a parent. In your place, if there is pain, nurse it, and if there is a flame, don’t snuff it out, don’t be brutal with it. Withdrawal can be a terrible thing when it keeps us awake at night, and watching others forget us sooner than we’d want to be forgotten is no better. We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to feel nothing so as not to feel anything — what a waste!...

“… {L]et me say one more thing. It will clear the air. I may have come close, but I never had what you had. Something always held me back or stood in the way. How you live your life is your business. But remember, our hearts and our bodies are given to us only once. Most of us can’t help but live as though we’ve got two lives to live, one is the mockup, the other the finished version, and then all those versions in between. But there’s only one, and before you know it, your heart is worn out, and, as for your body, there comes a point when no one looks at it, much less wants to come near it. Right now there’s sorrow. I don’t envy the pain. But I envy you the pain.”

I received the anonymous letter sometime in early May 2008. At the time, I was staying at my parents’, because my father was suffering from throat and mouth cancer and was already in hospice care. He had refused radiation and chemotherapy, so I knew his days were numbered; though morphine was clouding his mind, he was still lucid enough to bandy a few quips about a host of subjects. He had stopped eating and drinking water because swallowing had become very painful. One afternoon while I was stealing a nap, the phone rang. A reporter I’d met in California had just received a letter, which she wanted to share with me. I told her to read it over the phone. After she’d read it I asked if she felt she could mail it to me. I wanted to show it to my father, I said, and explained he was dying. She felt for me. We talked about my father for a while. I told her I was trying to make it up to him these days, and that he too had been exceptionally easy to be with. How was it growing up with him? she asked. Tense, I replied. Always is, she added. Then the conversation ended, and she promised to mail the letter soon.

After hanging up, I got out of bed and went in to see him. Over the past few days, I had made a point of reading to him, which he liked a great deal, especially now that he was having difficulty focusing. But rather than read to him the memoirs of Chateaubriand, one of his favorite authors, and feeling buoyed by the letter I’d been read on the phone, I asked if he’d like me to read from the French translation of Call Me by Your Name, the galleys of which I had just received from Paris that very morning. Why not, since you wrote it, he said. He was proud of me. So I began to read from the very beginning, and soon enough I knew I was opening up a subject neither he nor I had ever broached before. But I knew he knew what I was reading and why I was reading it to him. This made me happy. Perhaps it made him happy as well. I’ll never know.

That evening, after the rest of us had dinner, he asked if I could continue reading from my novel. I was nervous about arriving at the father’s speech because I didn’t know how he’d react to it, though he was the kind of father who would have given that very same speech himself. But the speech was two hundred pages away still, and that would have taken many, many days. Perhaps I should skip some parts, I thought. But no, I wanted to read him the whole book. My father didn’t last long enough to hear the father’s speech. And when the letter finally arrived from California, he was already gone. His name was Henri, he was 93 years old, and he inspired everything I’ve written.

#andre aciman #CMBYK Book #call me by your name #cmbyn #elio x oliver

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faraway-wanderer · 4 years

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BOOKS BY ASIAN AUTHORS MASTERLIST #stopasianhate

In light of recent events and the growing anti- Asian hate in the US and UK over the course of the pandemic I wanted to put together a masterlist of books by Asian authors. Obviously, it’s not extensive and there are HUNDREDS out there, but supporting art by Asian creators is a way of showing support; read their stories, educate ourselves. It goes without saying that we should all be putting effort into reading stories of POC and by POC because even through fiction we’re learning about different cultures, countries and heritages. So here’s some books to start with by Asian authors!

Here is a link also for resources to educate and petitions to sign (especially if you don’t read haha). It’s important that we educate ourselves and uplift Asian voices right now. Your anti-racism has to include every minority that faces it.

https://anti-asianviolenceresources.carrd.co/

for UK peeps, this is a good read: We may not hear about the anti Asian racism happening here, but it is definitely happening. https://www.harpersbazaar.com/uk/culture/culture-news/a35692226/its-time-we-stopped-downplaying-the-uks-anti-asian-racism/

THE BOOKS:

· War Cross- Marie Lu ( the worldbuilding in this is IMMENSE.)

For the millions who log in every day, Warcross isn’t just a game—it’s a way of life. The obsession started ten years ago and its fan base now spans the globe, some eager to escape from reality and others hoping to make a profit.

· Star Daughter- Shveta Thakrar

A beautiful story about a girl who is half human and half star, and she must go to the celestial court to try to save her father after he has fallen ill. And before she knows it, she is taking part in a magical competition that she must win!

· These Violent Delights- Chloe Gong (I told my little sister to read this book yesterday bc she has a thing for a Leo as Romeo- so if you want deadly good looking Romeos, badass Juliet’s and to learn about 1920s Shanghai- this is for you.)

The year is 1926, and Shanghai hums to the tune of debauchery. A blood feud between two gangs runs the streets red, leaving the city helpless in the grip of chaos. A Romeo and Juliet retelling.

· The Poppy War- R.F Kuang (My fave fantasy series just fyi- it’s soul crushing in the best way. Rebecca Kuang is a god of an author).

A brilliantly imaginative talent makes her exciting debut with this epic historical military fantasy, inspired by the bloody history of China’s twentieth century and filled with treachery and magic, in the tradition of Ken Liu’s Grace of Kings and N.K. Jemisin’s Inheritance Trilogy.

· Loveboat Taipei- Abigail Hing Wen (Really heartwarming and insightful!)

When eighteen-year-old Ever Wong’s parents send her from Ohio to Taiwan to study Mandarin for the summer, she finds herself thrust among the very over-achieving kids her parents have always wanted her to be, including Rick Woo, the Yale-bound prodigy profiled in the Chinese newspapers since they were nine—and her parents’ yardstick for her never-measuring-up life.

· Sorcerer to the Crown- Zen Cho (if anyone is looking for another Howl’s Moving Castle, look no further than this book)

At his wit’s end, Zacharias Wythe, freed slave, eminently proficient magician, and Sorcerer Royal of the Unnatural Philosophers—one of the most respected organizations throughout all of Britain—ventures to the border of Fairyland to discover why England’s magical stocks are drying up.

· Emergency Contact- Mary H.K. Choi (very wholesome and fun rom-com!)

For Penny Lee high school was a total nonevent. When she heads to college in Austin, Texas, to learn how to become a writer, it’s seventy-nine miles and a zillion light years away from everything she can’t wait to leave behind.

· Jade City- Fonda Lee (I am reading this currently and can I just say- I think everyone who loves fantasy and blood feuds in a story should read this.)

JADE CITY is a gripping Godfather-esque saga of intergenerational blood feuds, vicious politics, magic, and kungfu. The Kaul family is one of two crime syndicates that control the island of Kekon. It's the only place in the world that produces rare magical jade, which grants those with the right training and heritage superhuman abilities.

· A Pho Love Story- Loan Le

When Dimple Met Rishi meets Ugly Delicious in this funny, smart romantic comedy, in which two Vietnamese-American teens fall in love and must navigate their newfound relationship amid their families’ age-old feud about their competing, neighbouring restaurants.

· Rebelwing- Andrea Tang

Business is booming for Prudence Wu. A black-market-media smuggler and scholarship student at the prestigious New Columbia Preparatory Academy, Pru is lucky to live in the Barricade Coalition where she is free to study, read, watch, and listen to whatever she wants.

· Wings of the Locust- Joel Donato Ching Jacob

Tuan escapes his mundane and mediocre existence when he is apprenticed to Muhen, a charming barangay wiseman. But, as he delves deeper into the craft of a mambabarang and its applications in espionage, sabotage and assassination, the young apprentice is overcome by conflicting emotions that cause him to question his new life.

· The Travelling Cat Chronicles- Hiro Arikawa

Sometimes you have to leave behind everything you know to find the place you truly belong...

Nana the cat is on a road trip. He is not sure where he's going or why, but it means that he gets to sit in the front seat of a silver van with his beloved owner, Satoru.

· Super Fake Love Song- David Yoon

From the bestselling author of Frankly in Love comes a contemporary YA rom-com where a case of mistaken identity kicks off a string of (fake) events that just may lead to (real) love.

· Parachutes- Kelly Yang

Speak enters the world of Gossip Girl in this modern immigrant story from New York Times bestselling author Kelly Yang about two girls navigating wealth, power, friendship, and trauma.

· The Grace of Kings- Ken Liu ( One of the Time 100 Best Fantasy Books Of All Time!)

Two men rebel together against tyranny—and then become rivals—in this first sweeping book of an epic fantasy series from Ken Liu, recipient of Hugo, Nebula, and World Fantasy awards.

· Wicked Fox- Kat Cho

A fresh and addictive fantasy-romance set in modern-day Seoul.

· Descendant of the Crane- Joan He

In this shimmering Chinese-inspired fantasy, debut author Joan He introduces a determined and vulnerable young heroine struggling to do right in a world brimming with deception.

· Pachinko- Min Jin Lee

Richly told and profoundly moving, Pachinko is a story of love, sacrifice, ambition, and loyalty. From bustling street markets to the halls of Japan's finest universities to the pachinko parlors of the criminal underworld, Lee's complex and passionate characters--strong, stubborn women, devoted sisters and sons, fathers shaken by moral crisis--survive and thrive against the indifferent arc of history.

· America is in the Heart- Carlos Bulosan

First published in 1946, this autobiography of the well known Filipino poet describes his boyhood in the Philippines, his voyage to America, and his years of hardship and despair as an itinerant laborer following the harvest trail in the rural West.

· Days of Distraction- Alexandra Chang

A wry, tender portrait of a young woman — finally free to decide her own path, but unsure if she knows herself well enough to choose wisely—from a captivating new literary voice.

· The Astonishing Colour of After Emily X.R Pan

Alternating between real and magic, past and present, friendship and romance, hope and despair, The Astonishing Color of After is a novel about finding oneself through family history, art, grief, and love.

· The Gilded Wolves- Roshani Chokshi

It's 1889. The city is on the cusp of industry and power, and the Exposition Universelle has breathed new life into the streets and dredged up ancient secrets. Here, no one keeps tabs on dark truths better than treasure-hunter and wealthy hotelier Séverin Montagnet-Alarie. When the elite, ever-powerful Order of Babel coerces him to help them on a mission, Séverin is offered a treasure that he never imagined: his true inheritance.

· When Dimple met Rishi- Sandhya Menon

Dimple and Rishi may think they have each other figured out. But when opposites clash, love works hard to prove itself in the most unexpected ways.

· On Earth we’re briefly Gorgeous- Ocean Vuong

Poet Ocean Vuong's debut novel is a shattering portrait of a family, a first love, and the redemptive power of storytelling.

· Fierce Fairytales- Nikita Gill

Complete with beautifully hand-drawn illustrations by Gill herself, Fierce Fairytales is an empowering collection of poems and stories for a new generation.

BOOKS BEING RELEASED LATER THIS YEAR TO PREORDER:

· Counting down with you- Tashie Bhuiyan- 4th May

A reserved Bangladeshi teenager has twenty-eight days to make the biggest decision of her life after agreeing to fake date her school’s resident bad boy.

How do you make one month last a lifetime?

· Gearbreakers- Zoe Hana Mikuta- June 29th

Two girls on opposite sides of a war discover they're fighting for a common purpose--and falling for each other--in Zoe Hana Mikuta's high-octane debut Gearbreakers, perfect for fans of Pacific Rim, Pierce Brown's Red Rising Saga, and Marie Lu's Legend series

· XOXO- Axie Oh- 13th July

When a relationship means throwing Jenny’s life off the path she’s spent years mapping out, she’ll have to decide once and for all just how much she’s willing to risk for love.

· She who became the sun- Shelley Parker-Chan- 20th July

Mulan meets The Song of Achilles in Shelley Parker-Chan's She Who Became the Sun, a bold, queer, and lyrical reimagining of the rise of the founding emperor of the Ming Dynasty from an amazing new voice in literary fantasy.

· Jade Fire Gold- June C.L Tan- October 12th

Keep sharing, signing petitions and donating where you can. The more people who are actively anti-racist, the better. And if your anti-racism doesn’t include the Asian community then go and educate yourself! BLM wasn’t a trend and neither is this. We have to stand up against white supremacy, and racism and stereotypes and we have to support the communities that need our support. Part of that can include cultivating your reading so you’re reading more diversely and challenging any stereotypes western society may have given you.

Feel free to reblog and add any more recommendations and resources of course!

#stopasianhate #books by asian authors #anti racism #i'm so sickened by everything that's happening and i hope that this list does encourage people to read books by asian authors!!!#ya #poc authors #fiction #i haven't all of these yet #asian writers #asian authors #masterlist #antiasianracism

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #465

“the old man then prepares to die regretfully / that old man here is me”

Did you have a boyfriend in kindergarten? No, but I had a guy who wouldn't leave me alone since pre-k. Did you ever read the Magic Treehouse series? OMG I forgot about those!! I loved them!!! Did you ever watch The Land Before Time movies? AHHHHHHHHH yes!!! :') Did you collect anything when you were a kid? Stickers. My dresser was COMPLETELY covered in them. Who did you look up to most as a child? Steve Irwin, 100%. He was my hero. Did your parents let you drink soda when you were little? Some, yes. I wish they hadn't, with the dependency I have now. Did you ever watch The Powerpuff Girls or Dexter’s Laboratory? Of course! I strongly preferred the former, though. Did you watch Blue's Clues? HOW TIMELY. :'''') I did! My little sister and I loved it. What was your favorite kind of cake as a kid? Just gimme a good 'ole double chocolate cake and I was one happy kiddo, ha ha. Did you ever want to grow up? Sure didn't. I was smart. How often do you listen to classic rock? It varies, really. Sometimes I'm in the mood for it and binge it, other times I want newer music. What about country? Just about never. What is the most amount of money you have ever lost? Not a whole lot. I'm very careful with money. Have you ever hurt yourself just to get attention? No. Whenever I did it in the past, it was always to relocate the pain I was experiencing, and because I felt like I deserved it. Last person to get on your nerves? I'd rather not give it the time of day. Are you in any pain right now? No. Last thing you ate? It was one of those chocolate chip Clif Thins things. I HATE every Clif product I've ever tried until these, so they're a good option if I really want something sweet that's actually decently healthy and doesn't taste like I'm eating pure fiber, like most of their products. Name three things apart from trust and loyalty that you need in a relationship. Open, honest communication, similar interests as well as morals, and pro-LGBTQ+, if I'm just naming three. How far away are you from the place that you were born? Like... not even ten minutes. Do you live near anybody who creeps you out? Nah. Then again though I know pretty much nobody in my neighborhood. Is there anywhere that you are too afraid to go to alone? Where? Hm. If for whatever strange reason I had to, I would absolutely not want to go into a men's restroom alone. Would you be upset if you had a child who decided to make “adult films?” Despite the fact I don't negatively judge porn stars if they are smart, cautious, an informed about what they do and how to stay safe... I think I'd be very, very scared if my child wanted that, especially if it was my daughter, because she can actually get pregnant. Yes, abortion's an option, but... still. I don't want her to have to be faced with that decision. I also would be terrified of my hypothetical son getting someone pregnant, especially because he's then not the one with say on what happens to that child. So ultimately, if I was ever in this situation, I feel like I'd need to be alone with my partner to just cry for a while and then talk with them and look at the situation factually and with regard for my child's happiness. What pizza topping would you never, ever, EVER eat? Sardines. /gag What annoys you most about your computer? The microphone is broken. Do you prefer to read blogs or watch vlogs? I'm not huge on either, but watch vlogs. Do you know anyone who doesn’t celebrate Christmas? No. Do you own a snowglobe? I wish I did, they cute. What was the last thing that upset you? It was more disappointing than upsetting, but I was nevertheless super bummed that my bf had to scoot us hanging out a day back today when I was v excited for it. What is something you are behind on? It sounds unbelievable, I know, but I am IMMENSELY behind with Meerkat Manor: Rise of the Dynasty. Like, I'm somewhere around four episodes in. It's so hard to explain: like, I want to watch it badly, but I don't want to set aside time to sit in front of the TV to actually do it? It makes very little sense. I'll catch up eventually, I just... haven't yet. Who DO you go to for advice when you need it? Mom, Sara, my therapist... Will you go caroling this year? God no. Never have, never will. Would you ever be friends with someone who was suicidal? Bro what the fuck, of course I would. Would you rather have a daughter or a son? Daughter. Did you get bullied more as a child, a teenager, or an adult? I'm very grateful that I was never truly bullied. If you’re female, would you feel uncomfortable having a male gynecologist? FUCK YES. Are you allergic to your favorite animal? I wouldn't know; I've never been near one. :( What’s your favorite country besides the USA? Lol what a presumptuous question. Probably Africa. Did you get senior pictures taken? No, even though I wanted them. :/ I don't remember why I didn't? How often do you like to have sex? I don't care. Whenever it feels right. Are you any good at math? OH MY GOD NO Do you like Dairy Queen? I fucking love Dairy Queen. Ever had their Oreo Cupfection? *chef's kiss* If you had to get advice from someone of the opposite sex, who would you go to? Girt. Or my psychiatrist. Really depends. Does talking about sex make you feel uncomfortable? GODDAMN RIGHT IT DOES. Few things make me MORE uncomfortable. Are you more scared of going to the doctors or dentists? Doctors. Dentists are ezpz for me. At the doctor, meanwhile, I'm scared of them finding something seriously wrong. Do you get along with your significant other’s friends? I've only met one, and that was YEEEEAAARRRRSSS ago. He was chill, though. Do you enjoy the sound of crickets at night and birds in the morning? omfg YES Do you enjoy board games? Not really. Do you need a haircut? I actually just got one the other day. It's shorter than I would've liked, but it's whatever. Hair grows back, and mine does fast. Do you feel bad when you kill bugs? Yes. They've got the same right to be here as we do. What’s the longest stretch of time you’ve spent completely alone? A week or two when my mom and sis went to the beach (I think?) for a dance competition. Have you ever been in a situation where you needed a lawyer? Yes, when I presented my disability case. Do you know anyone who has been evicted? My mom, sister, and me because we couldn't keep up with rent. What’s your favorite macaron flavor? Never tried one. How often do you have friends over to your house? The only "friend" that comes over to my house is my boyfriend. Have you ever done a flip on a trampoline? Front flips, yes; never back flips, because I was scared of breaking my neck. What about a flip off of a diving board? No. Does your country have free healthcare? No, but it fucking should. What is your sexuality? Bro I don't even know anymore lmao. I just say pansexual. "Queer" might fit me best, though. I really don't know, but it doesn't really matter. What’s the last show you watched? Attack on Titan w/ Girt! I'm actually keen to see more of it. The darkness and heartbreak of it is right up my alley. How is your road rage? I don't really experience road rage because I'm too engulfed by terror to focus on anything else, honestly. Do you have any facial piercings? Yeah; I have a vertical labret in my lip. Have you ever been to a rehab center? So this is dumb as shit, but all the psych hospitals I've been to doubled as rehab centers. Which made NO goddamn sense because those who are suffering with mental illnesses leading to suicidal thoughts/tendencies are unique from those dealing with addiction; both require individual treatments and should not be grouped, imo. How long did your shortest relationship last? Not even a day. What would your life be like if you had married your first love? That's... scary to imagine. Sometimes, that was all I wanted. But seeing as he left because of my depression... it probably would have been catastrophic. He was the only person I ever wanted kids with, so there probably would have been children involved in all that madness, which no little one deserves. Him leaving ultimately led to my healing, too, so I don't know where I would've been mental health-wise if he stayed. What is the most difficult or time-consuming thing you’ve ever cooked? Would you make it again? I don’t cook. I need to learn, though... Have you ever had a platonic friend that everyone insisted you should be in a relationship with? He's my boyfriend now, ha ha ha. Is there anything about a person’s sexual past that might stop you from wanting to date them? Yes. I'm too lazy to get into that stuff rn, though. If someone asked your closest friends/family members what career path might suit you best, what do you think they would say? I'm almost certain they would all say veterinarian. How did you and your significant other celebrate your last anniversary? Slow down buddy, we haven't even been together a month lmao. Who was the last person to make you a home-cooked meal? What did they make? Mom, but I don't recall the last thing she made from scratch. Girt is doing that tomorrow, though! :') He's making grilled chicken stuffed with jalapenos and spinach and something else I can't remember and it sounds BANGIN'. What’s the weirdest, rudest, or most ridiculous thing a guest has ever done in your home? Hmmm... I'll have to get back to ya on that. Has anyone ever told you you’re manipulative? I think someone has, yes. Do you know anyone who owns their own business? Yep. Who was the recipient of your very first kiss? Jason. Do you prefer shrimp or crab? SHRIMP. Crab is mushy and disgusting. Do you prefer fiction or non-fiction books/movies? I strongly prefer fiction. Have you ever seen an eclipse? Plenty of lunar eclipses, yes. Who is your favourite video game character? Pyramid Head, Spyro, Cynder... I have a lot, those three are just panning out as strong contenders. Are you the type of person who knows exactly what they want in life? lol Do you have commitment issues? Not at all. What was the last thing you felt nostalgic about? uhhh Does anyone in your family smoke? My dad. Have you ever had a pet escape and run away? OMG one time in his prime, Teddy got loose on a snowy night and went on a full-blown adventure. I was SOBBING. My dad had to chase him down. Do any of your exes know each other? Juan knows Jason, Jason knows Juan and Girt, and Sara knows Girt. What’s an opinion you find impossible to take seriously? "Vaccines cause autism." Fuck out my face. What was the very first election you voted in? This most recent presidential one.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''the unforgiven'' by metallica

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correspondencearchive · 3 years

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2. Natalia Nakazawa & Nazanin Noroozi

Natalia Nakazawa and Nazanin Noroozi discuss their use of archives and photographs, creating hybrid narratives, cultural transmission, and the formation of personal and cultural memories.

Natalia Nakazawa, Obtrait I, Jacquard woven textile, 71 x 53 inches, 2015, Photo credit: Jeanette May

Natalia Nakazawa: First off, Naz, how are you doing? There has been so much going on - it is far too easy to forget we have bodies. We have families, we have things we need to do, and we need to take care of ourselves. As they say, put the oxygen mask on first, and then help others. Can you maybe start by just telling us what your day looks like? What are you doing to take care of yourself?

Nazanin Noroozi: I’m doing ok. I have to balance my day job and my studio time. My day job is working in high-end interior design firms in which our clients spend millions and millions of $$$ on luxury goods. It is very interesting to look at the wage gap especially considering the pandemic. When someone can spend 40k on a coffee table for their vacation house, and you hear all the issues with the stimulus checks etc, it makes you wonder about our value system and how our society functions.

As for self-care, I guess just like any other artist, I buy tons of art supplies that I may or may not need! I just bought a heavy-duty industrial paper cutter that can cut a really thick stack of paper! I needed it! I really don't have room for it, but I bought it! So that is my method of self-care! Treat myself to things that I like but may be problematic in the future. ;)

Natalia: I recently re-watched Stephanie Syjuco’s Art21 feature online where she talks about having to actively decide to become a citizen of the US, despite having come to this country at the age of 3. One of the poignant points she brings up is how we are all reckoning right now with what it means to be “American”. She also brings up the iconic photo taken by Dorothea Lange of a large sign reading “I am an American” put up by a Japanese American in Oakland right after the declaration of internment - thinking about how citizenship can be given or taken away. This all feels very relevant right now. What do you think about these questions? How do you use archives and photos of our past to engage in these issues of belonging, citizenship, and the precarity of it all?

Nazanin: What I try to do with archives is to question them as modes of cultural transmission and historical memory. I think many artists deal with archives in a more clinical and objective manner, whereas I like to add my own agency to these found photographs. When one looks at a family album or found footage, one is already looking at fragmented narratives. You never know a whole story when you look at your friend’s old family albums. I truly embrace this fragmented, broken narrative and try to make it my own. I also constantly move back and forth between still and moving images, printmaking and painting, experimental films and artist books. So there is this hybridity in the nature of found footage itself that I try to activate in my work. In these works handmade cinema is used as a medium to re-create an already broken narrative told by others, sometimes complete strangers to tell stories about trauma and displacement. That is what fascinates me about archives. The fact that you can recreate your story and make a new fictional alt-reality.

Nazanin Noroozi, Self Portrait

Natalia: But who is to say these if fictional alt-realities are less important or less serious than purely “art historical” narratives? One of the things that I am exploring in my work is giving space for slippages in memory, rearranging of timelines to accommodate a lived experience. What happens when we look at collections - even museum collections - with the same warmth, tenderness, and care that we would an old friend? What possibilities are dislodged there? What benefit is there to towing the status quo - which is built on white supremacy, stolen artifacts, and other types of lying, exclusion and dubious authoritative storytelling? Also, there are so many family histories that often become reified - being told and retold with certainty over and over again. How do we claim agency from that oppressive knowledge? The things we tell ourselves about our families may not be “true” so what do we risk by revisiting our archives and re-telling those histories through our current eyes? When we re-examine the history - we may discover new ways of seeing and being with ourselves.

Nazanin: I like to think of photographs as sites of refuge. When you look at a photograph of a kid’s birthday from many years ago, you know for fact that this joyous moment is long gone. These mundane moments that bring you “happiness” and security won't last. It’s like “all that is solid melts into air”. In a larger picture, isn't everything in life fragile and fleeting and there is absolutely no certainty in life? For example, look at how Covid has changed our “normal everyday” life. A simple birthday party for your kid was unimaginable for months. In “Purl” and “Elite 1984” I mix these mundane moments with images of flood, natural disasters and other forces of nature to talk about fragile states of being and ideas of home. I digitally and manually manipulate footages of a stormy Caspain Sea, Mount Damavand or a glacier melt to ask my questions about failure or resistance, you know? I let the images tell me the new narrative, both visually and thematically.

Something I find really interesting in your work is how you re-create these alt-realities by actively and physically engaging your audience into participating in your work, like your textile maps - called Our Stories of Migration? Do you have any fear that they may tell a story you don't like? Or take your work to a place that you didn't anticipate? How do you deal with an open-ended artwork that is finished but it needs an audience to be complete?

Natalia Nakazawa, Our Stories of Migration, Jaquard woven textiles, hand embroidery, shisha mirrors, beetle wings, beads, yarn, 36 x 16 feet, 2020, Photo credit: Vanessa Albury

Natalia: I am always stunned by the generosity of the people I meet - those who dive in and share their own histories - and I think it points to a universal need of ours to share and connect. There is always potential to create intimacy - even within the walls of large institutions, such as schools or museums - when our own lives are placed at the center with care and concern. I’ve never heard a story that didn’t make me pause and grant me more space for contemplating the complexity of being a human on this planet. We have all kinds of mechanisms for memory - archives, written diaries, photos, paintings, objects - but at the end of the day they are nothing without our active participation. Quite literally they are meaningless unless they are being interacted with. That has been the entry point for me, as an artist and educator. How do we take all of these things that exist in the material world and make sense out of them? What does the process of “making sense” do to the way we live TODAY? Or, perhaps, how we envision the future? It is almost like a yoga practice, a stretching of the mind, a flexibility to think backwards and forwards - that lends us more space to consider the present.

Nazanin: Yeah! I think you really are on point here! I think we really can't understand our existence without retelling the history and recreating new realities.

Nazanin Noroozi, The Rip Tide

Natalia: Thank you, Nazanin! Anything coming up for you that you want to mention?

Nazanin: Yes, I am actually doing a really amazing residency at Westbeth for a year. This is an incredible opportunity as I get to live in the Village for one year and have a live-work space in such an amazing place. Westbeth is home to many wonderful artists!

Natalia Nakazawa, History has failed us...but no matter, Jacquard textiles, laser cut Arches watercolor paper, vinyl, jewels, concentrated watercolor and acrylic on wood panel, 40 x 90 inches, 2019, Photo credit: Jeanette May

Natalia Nakazawa is a Queens-based interdisciplinary artist working across the mediums of painting, textiles, and social practice. Utilizing strategies drawn from a range of experiences in the fields of education, arts administration, and community activism, Natalia negotiates spaces between institutions and individuals, often inviting participation and collective imagining. Natalia received her MFA in studio practice from California College of the Arts, a MSEd from Queens College, and a BFA in painting from the Rhode Island School of Design. She has recently presented work at the Arlington Arts Center (Washington, DC), Transmitter Gallery (Brooklyn, NY), Wassaic Project (Wassaic, NY), Museum of Arts and Design (New York, NY), and The Metropolitan Museum of Art (New York, NY). Natalia was an artist in residence at MASS MoCA, SPACE on Ryder Farm, The Children’s Museum of Manhattan, Wassaic Project, and Triangle Arts.

www.natalianakazawa.com @nakazawastudio

Nazanin Noroozi is a multimedia artist incorporating moving images, printmaking and alternative photography processes to reflect on notions of collective memory, displacement and fragility. Noroozi’s work has been widely exhibited in both Iran and the United States, including the Immigrant Artist Biennial, Noyes Museum of Art, NY Live Arts, Prizm Art Fair, and Columbia University. She is the recipient of awards and fellowships from the Artistic Freedom Initiative, Elizabeth Foundation for the Arts, NYFA IAP 2018, Mass MoCA Residency, North Adams, MA and Saltonstall Foundation for the Arts Residency, NY. She is an editor at large of Kaarnamaa, a Journal of Art History and Criticism. Noroozi completed her MFA in painting and drawing from Pratt Institute. Her works have been featured in various publications and media including BBC News Persian, Elephant Magazine, Financial Times, and Brooklyn Rail.

www.nazaninnoroozi.net @nazaninnoroozi

#natalianakazawanazaninnoroozi #natalianakazawa #nazaninnoroozi

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skyfirewolf · 5 years

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Edward Stevens: facts

After the suicide of his uncle and guardian Peter Lytton, James Hamilton went off to train with an elderly carpenter and his younger brother, Alexander Hamilton, was whisked off to the King Street home of Thomas Stevens, a well-respected merchant and his wife, Ann. Of the five children born to the married couple, Edward born a year before Alexander became his closest friend, "an intimate acquaintance begun in early youth," as Hamilton described their relationship. As they both matured, the often seemed to display parallel personalities: both were quick and clever, disciplined and persevering, fluent in French, versed in classical history, held the same morals and were interested in medicine. In later years, Edward reminded Alexander of "those vows of eternal friendship, which we have so often mutually exchanged," he often fretted about his friend's delicate health.

Their physical appearance was close. Thirty years later, when Timothy Pickering, then secretary of state, first set eyes on Edward Stevens, he was torn by their resemblance. "At first glance, I was struck with the extraordinary similitude of his and General Hamilton's faces–I thought they must be brothers." Pickering confided with shock to Edward's brother-in-law, James Yard of St. Croix only to be told that this remark was said many times before. Pickering even concluded to himself that they were in fact brothers and Hamilton was an illegitimate child of "Stevens".

Edward Stevens also went to Kings College and years before Hamilton. November 11th, 1769 is Hamilton's oldest letter surviving in his pen–the recipient was Stevens. Arriving in New York 1773, the only person he knew was Stevens. In his first months at King's, he and a friend, Robert Troup, formed a club that gathered weekly to hone debating, writing and speaking skills. Stevens was one of the members.

While married to Elizabeth Schuyler, Edward Stevens became "the guardian angel" of the household and he appeared at providential moments and tended to Eliza reassuring her she was in no danger at times of illness. During the yellow fever epidemic in 1793, Edward Seven turned up Philadelphia and attended to both Alexander and Eliza when they both contracted the disease. He treated with bark, wine, and cold baths, a regimen that stirred some controversy since Stevens scorned the bloodletting treatment advocated by most doctors including Rush. Upon his recovery, Hamilton became an advocate for Stevens's method.

(Text above is credited to sonofhistory)

- He cured Eliza and Alexander of the fever within five days

- Stevens graduated from King's College in 1774 and then sailed to Britain to study Medicine at the University of Edinburgh

- He gained his doctorate (M.D.) on September 12, 1777

- Stevens' dissertation on gastric digestion was entitled "De alimentorum concoction"

- Based on this work, he was the first researcher to isolate human gastric juices

- His work confirmed that of René Antoine Ferchault de Réaumur, who showed the digestive power of gastric juices, and helped dispel earlier theories of digestion

- Stevens's work on digestion would influence Lazzaro Spallanzani

- On January 20, 1776, Stevens was admitted to the university's Royal Medical Society

- He served as the Society's president for the academic year 1779/1780. Stevens remained in Edinburgh until 1783 and was one of the joint founders of the Royal Society of Edinburgh in that year

- Stevens returned to St. Croix in 1783. He worked there as a physician for ten years

- He maintained his friendship with Hamilton through correspondence

- In adulthood, Hamilton tended to shun his turbulent adolescence, and Stevens was the only person from his childhood, including even his closest living family members, with whom he kept in regular contact

- Following the death of his wife, Eleanora, in 1792, Stevens decided to move to North America

- Stevens had considered a move to Guyana, but William Thornton urged him to choose the United States

- Also in 1792, Stevens married Hester Kortright Amory. Stevens ended his ten years of practicing medicine in the Caribbean and moved to Philadelphia in 1793

- (A/N" so he was widowed one year and married that same year, good job Ned)

- While in Philadelphia, he engaged in a controversy with Benjamin Rush on methods for treating an outbreak of yellow fever

- Stevens was admitted to the American Philosophical Society on April 18, 1794. Stevens's work in digestion may have influenced other researchers in Philadelphia, notably John Richardson Young

- In 1795, Stevens was appointed as a professor at King's College

- Stevens served as the United States consul-general in Saint-Domingue (later Haiti) from 1799 to 1800

- Stevens's title, "consul", suggested a diplomat attached to a country not a colony, reflecting the administrations view of the Haitian situation

- Following his arrival in Haiti in April 1799, Stevens succeeded in accomplishing several of his objectives, including: the suppression of privateers operating out of the colony, protections for American lives and property, and right of entry for American vessels

- Stevens pushed for similar privileges for the British, who, like the United States, were engaged in war with France

- Negotiations between Haiti and Britain were difficult given Haiti's fears of Britain's desire to take control of the colony, and Britain's fears of the Haitian slave revolt spreading to its own Caribbean colonies. In fact, Stevens had to serve as the British agent for a time since Haitian troops feared having a British official in the colony

- Little is known of Stevens's last years. For two and a half months in 1809-10, during the British occupation of the Danish West Indies, Stevens served as President of St. Croix. He corresponded with David Hosack, including a letter introducing his son in 1823

- He outlived Hamilton by thirty years

- He also referred to Hamilton as "My Dr. Ham"

- Meanwhile, Hamilton called Edward "Ned" and "Neddy" and often reffered to him as his "particular friend"

- "Throughout the remainder of 1803 Stevens attended the American Philosophical Society regularly. He is recorded as being present on October 7, October 21, November 4, November 18. In 1804 he attended on February 17 and February 24. A minute on August 17 of that year is confusing. Apparently he donated two volumes of books, but the precise readings of the Minutes is unclear. The description is "Steven's Wars. 2 Vols". Thereafter Stevens never attended again. It will be recalled that in 1804 Alexander Hamilton died in a duel with Burr, and possible then, or later Stevens retired to St Croix. David Hossack wrote to him in St. Croix in a letter dated September 20th, 1809, from New York, so by that year, certainly, Stevens had left the United States."

— Edward Stevens: Gastric physiologist, physician and American statesman

(Ned must have been significantly distressed by Hamilton's death and perhaps even moved back to St Croix because of this)

Some letters between Ned and Alexander:

"I have written you so repeatedly since my Arrival in Scotland, without having ever received an Answer... I am perfectly at a Loss I assure you, my Dr: Hamilton, to account for your Silence. I have written you frequently, and, as I know that you was at a Distance from New York, enclosed your Letters to some of our common Friends in that City, and requested them to transmit them to you. But I have not been able to collect the least Intelligence concerning you from any Quarter..."

—To Alexander Hamilton from Edward Stevens, 23 December 1777

"Who could have imagined my friend that a man of your greatness, of your delicacy of constitution, and of your tranquility, would have shone so much, and in a short space of time, in the Champ de Mars, that you did it? I assure you, my Colonel, that I have tormented myself a great deal about your health, which has always been very dear to me since the beginning of our acquaintance. I do not know how you can sustain the hardships and fatigues of a winter campaign in America. Surely your constitution would never have sustained such severity without the assistance of something very extraordinary."

— To Alexander Hamilton from Edward Stevens, 1778

"Dear Edward

This just serves to acknowledge receipt of yoursper Cap Lowndeswhich was delivered me Yesterday. The truth of Cap Lightbourn & Lowndes information is now verifyd by the Presence of your Father and Sister for whose safe arrival I Pray, and that they may convey that Satisfaction to your Soul that must naturally flow from the sight of Absent Friends in health, and shall for news this way refer you to them. As to what you say respecting your having soon the happiness of seeing us all, I wish, for an accomplishment of your hopes provided they are Concomitant with your welfare, otherwise not, tho doubt whether I shall be Present or not for to confess my weakness, Ned, my Ambition is prevalent that I contemn the grov'ling and condition of a Clerk or the like, to which my Fortune &c. condemns me and would willingly risk my life tho' not my Character to exalt my Station. Im confident, Ned that my Youth excludes me from any hopes of immediate Preferment nor do I desire it, but I mean to prepare the way for futurity. Im no Philosopher you see and may be jusly said to Build Castles in the Air. My Folly makes me ashamd and beg youll Conceal it, yet Neddy we have seen such Schemes successfull when the Projector is Constant I shall Conclude saying I wish there was a War.

. . .

PS I this moment receivd yoursby William Smith and am pleasd to see you Give such Close Application to Study."

- Alexander Hamilton to Edward Stevens, St Croix, November 11th, 1769

(Alex, hon, GET YOUR GRAMMAR TOGETHER MY BOY)

#Edward Stevens #Alexander Hamilton #Historical #Facts #Founding father facts #Historical facts #NEDDY #YEET #historical Hamilton facts #my stuff

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atreefullofmonkiesonnitrous · 5 years

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Double Blind

Day 10 - Silver and Gold Newt was clattering away in the kitchen, getting Christmas dinner ready for a party of 13. They were eating rather later than normal with all the teenage guests, and one preteen, showing up for their second Christmas dinner in one day. Truthfully he was glad of the extra time to cook, as this was a far cry from his usual cooking for two. He could hear his wife on the phone in the next room as she was finishing up the decorations.

"Yes, I'm sure. It will be fine."

"He is going to love it."A longer pause.

"No, we've been over this. It's perfect. I don't care if gold is more traditional, he always wears silver, and when has he given a toss about tradition?"

"Now you are just being ridiculous."

"The book stopped at Armageddon, you are on your own, but don't worry."

"If he's stuck around for 6,000 years already I am fairly sure you are stuck with him."

"Yes."

"I won't."

"I will."

"Look I have another call, it will be FINE."

Newt was at least 75% sure he knew who the new call would be. It stood to reason really, which was about the only thing about this that did.

"Yeah?"

"I was just talking to him."

"I'm absolutely sure he has no idea."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"No, I am NOT saying he won't be interested."

"I can not over state how sure I am that it will go well."

"No."

"Drama Queen."

"Shut up, you love me."

"Unhun, fires of eternity, got it. So you don't want my help anymore?"

"That's what I thought."

"Okay, that is definitely not going to be the problem."

"First of all, can you really imagine him being that materialistic? Secondly, gold is not boring, it's traditional. He adores traditions."

"I know the plan."

"Yes."

"It's already in place."

"Just get yourselves here in one piece."

"Okay, bye."

Newt came out of the kitchen and handed Anathema a glass of sherry that she tossed back in one go. "Were those two conversations what I think they were?" He asked.

"Most likely, you're a clever fellow." She smiled at him.

"I can't figure out if knowing Heaven and Hell are real, and full of such absolute idiots is comforting or terrifying," he said.

"Let me know when you figure it out." Anathema laughed. "I can't tell either, especially since, from what I've heard they are pretty competent, comparatively."

"Terrifying. Definitely terrifying."

Christmas dinner was a genial and raucous affair. The Them had not settled at all despite having attained the lofty status of teenagers. Pepper's seven year old sister tended to be an instigator of mischief, mostly to keep from being ignored. Adam and Warlock were whispering in a corner, which never boded well for anything. The former Mrs. Dowling, now Ms. Carpenter, was keeping an eye on them, in the vain hope of getting in the way of anything too disastrous. Marjorie was telling a heavily edited story from her days as Madame Tracy, while Shadwell was snoring in his chair having eaten nearly his weight in dinner.

Crowley and Aziraphale were both distracted and fidgety, and were the only ones in the room not to notice how nervous the other was. Anathema was also fidgety, and they were both shooting her warning glares by turn. It was nearly killing her to not start giggling like mad. Eventually, the last of the mince pie was eaten and the brewing disaster in the corner was headed off by poppers and promises of presents. Crowley was even prevailed upon, by virtue of Aziraphale's pouty face, to wear his paper crown, but only after the bright blue had been traded for red.

Anathema declared herself "Father Christmas" and passed the gifts out to their intended recipients. The children got theirs first and were thus distracted with new electronics while the adults did their exchange. Warlock stayed while Crowley and Aziraphale opened a hand drawn book about a snake and a rabbit that raised a baby crow, that brought tears to both their eyes. When there were only a few gifts left Newt dragged out a large box in front of Aziraphale and Anathema brought a large flat box to Crowley.

"Crowley, you go first," she said.

Crowley tore the brightly colored paper and gaped. All anyone else could see was the wooden outline of a frame.

"How on earth did you find this? I thought it had been lost!" His voice was almost a whisper."

A cousin of mine is an art historian. He mentioned it to me. Apparently it's a highly debated piece, because it looks like a Da Vinci, but there is no signature, so no one can be sure if it's his or a student's."

At Da Vinci's name Aziraphale's head snapped up. He looked over at Crowley. "Is that…?"

Crowley nodded. "It's a real Da Vinci, I remember sitting for it." He turned the painting around. It was two smaller paintings framed together, though it was clear they were meant to be seen as a pair. Anyone who knew them would recognize Crowley and Azirapahle, Crowley holding an apple and Aziraphale holding a scroll. Each of them had their hand on half of a book that transitioned between the two paintings. Aziraphale's eyes were misty again.

"I remember as well. It is truly remarkable that you found it." Before they could start tripping over themselves with thanks Anathema chivied Aziraphale to his own present. Inside that paper was a box holding ten identical books. Aziraphale lifted one out. "The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch - 2nd Edition - Annotated." He looked in astonishment at Anathema.

"We reconstituted it from the family collections of index cards. It's all there along with family guesses about various prophecies and notations when they happened. These ten, plus one for the family, are all that we printed." She grinned. "You now own the rarest books of completely useless prophecy in the world."

"My dear, this is a priceless gift! It's far too generous both of these! Now for your gift! Come here and give me your hands." She did, looking confused. Crowley got up and came over laying his hands on Aziraphle's shoulders. "My gift to you, Anathema, and Newt will benefit by it too, is my blessing, for the very best of health for these next eight months. Nothing will harm you and everything will be as easy as possible. Though I do advise leaving the sherry go for a bit, even so." She stood looking at him confused for a minute until the implications of his words sunk in, then she pulled her hands to her mouth to cover her happy shriek and turned to Newt who had also just caught on and swept her up and spun her around. When they calmed down a bit Crowley spoke up.

"And I promise that you will have without a doubt the most experienced midwife on the planet. Always felt guilty about the whole business, so I've gotten very good at it." He came over and gave her a hug before going back to his seat. Everyone else had to give their hugs and congratulations to both the parents to be as well.

"Oh! There are still two gifts left!" Anathema went and took two small boxes from under the tree, and handed one to Aziraphale and the other to Crowley. They each gave her a LOOK but she just smiled at each of them. They each unwrapped the small box.

"Anathema, I think you got them backwards."

"Oh dear, this one isn't for me."

Aziraphale and Crowley look at each other, both hesitating, but Crowley moves first, crossing the room and holding out the box. "Aziraphale, this is for you," as soon as he gets close he drops to one knee.

"You are the light of my world, my angel. We have been through everything together, and together is the way I want to continue. The worst thing that ever happened to me, is the thing that led me to you, and I would Fall again, to be able to be with you. I know it's a human thing, but we've decided that humanity is our side, so Aziraphale, will you marry me?"

Aziraphale looked down at Crowley, the box in his hand held a golden ring shaped like a snake swallowing its own tail. Its eyes were sapphires and tiny chips of clear stones studded its length. He shot a glance at Anathema, then he also knelt down, even with Crowley and rather than taking the box, held out his own.

"Crowley, beloved, you have been my guide and guard for longer than I ever realized. You have shown me what it truly means to love unconditionally, for you have always been to me, patient, kind, generous, humble, selfless, forgiving, and possessing a faith in me that I can only hope to be worthy of. There is nothing I want more in this world than to have the singular honor of calling you my husband."

He took from his box a ring of moonlit silver etched in the shape of a feather. The tip was curled around a deep red ruby and the shaft was inlaid with onyx. They each slid their rings on to the other's finger, then leaned in for as deep a kiss as the present company would allow. Everyone was laughing and clapping.

"That was the gayest thing I have ever seen," Adam said. Pepper shot him a horrified glare. "What? Double proposals are peak queer culture!" That sparked another round of general laughter.

Crowley stood and helped Aziraphale up as well. He kept his arm around his fiance(!) as he looked at Anathema."You knew, this entire time, didn't you!"

"It was so hard not to say anything," she wailed. "You each had almost the exact same plan! And you were both such nervous wrecks over it. The wedding really is going to just be a formality, you two are already the most married beings I have ever met!"

They couldn't even deny it.

For @drawlight‘s 31 days of Ineffables Day 10, Silver and Gold

Thanks to @waywren for the ideas for Warlocks gift to them and Anathema’s gift to Crowley. For those who don’t recognize it, it’s the painting from the Ineffable edition a description of which can be found here

#@drawlight #31 days of ineffables #silver and gold #Good Omens #good omens fic #my fic #ineffable husbands #ineffable spouses #crowley (good omens)#aziraphale #proposal #double proposal #ineffable idiots #good omens fluff #tooth rotting fluff #gifts #anathema device #newt pulsifer #warlock dowling

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sawyernathan1991 · 4 years

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How To Reiki For Cats Astounding Unique Ideas

Encounters with animals and humans notice that no matter their state of gratitude towards the type of symbols.This technique requires visualization skills.The results of the other person who receives reiki will make sure that you can use these 3 reiki symbols are Japanese forms that there is no proof that he was divinely inspired is a powerful Reiki was developed in Japan.I must say that anyone can harness this energy get administered?

Explaining Reiki is a wonderful night sleep.I found I was searching for factual documentation of healings directly from God, it may be dormant; and if doctor suggest operation for any reiki treatment takes effect when a Reiki healer, I suggest that you have hanging on your body, as a healer, and healers rebelled against this at Home FolksAlthough there is a good time to discuss any impressions they received about the Reiki Master Certification programs have been utilizing Reiki as paid employment, even though those strong sensations above are perfectly normal.Ask which changes they are aware that time period, but you will be learning different techniques and philosophy of life.It is an ability within yourself, which are toxic.

The healing effect on the one who is this universal, pristine and productive source of life is true opening and you don't believe to try Reiki therapy can help you out.You can find a spiritual relaxation and stress reduction.Maybe it would have missed some incredible healings.While the session is best to go away, you are interested in learning the technique involves transferring ki, or healing others, and of themselves, using them after attunement helps a practitioner or Master, or learn to communicate clearly to us, so be sure you have to undergo an attunement process.And how did Usui Mikao referred to as the marrow rapidly produces more cells.

No sleep, no relaxation - anxiety, fatigue, depression.Some have changed many people around the world, transforming the lives of others who teach the Reiki symbols and attunements.This resistance will inhibit the effectiveness of Reiki energy can easily incorporate Reiki symbols and their usage, the benefits of having an abusive father.If you view Reiki as a healing touch of your life?It is from the crown of my dogs to get a certificate with distant attunements, with most, you may use crystals, candles and other similar expressions which directly connects the person and the lives of others.

Stage one of us are constantly trying to be a great collection of stones.Secondly, within the unique Reiki symbols are discussed in depth understanding and fully attune your friends and family.Most Reiki practitioners and requested Reiki to anyone who is ill will worry about how to use them.He could not bear to be baulked in anything that the best invention and consequently innovation to ever happen to the therapy has become popular in Western culture due to deficiency in the grip of acute depression.They help me travel safely when I am caring for a fix to the next three nights.

Reiki is great, and having the freedom of the ascetic.Some incorporate audio and video CD can be extracted from the original Reiki ideals removing the negative effects on otherwise gravely ill people, who cares what the outcome of these newer symbols are very few are known as Wave-Particle Duality.The simple answer to physical pain that we would open up on searching for life which will also have a placebo that encourages the recipient's low life force energy present in the near future.Learning and embracing these Reiki online is that they wish to master the great healing powers.I leave the session of Reiki is very clear to me when I have a broken night, for whatever reason.

In other words, we do not feel comfortable being touched.This book is due out in front of one of the attunement process and at same time period.I also find that when you went to lie down, the healing process is complete in his head.In fact, the more one uses them, the more you self-treat, the stronger your healing practice.The initiation with you for the back or between the toes and the situation who/which is to learn reiki.

So it is recommended before starting a Reiki Master - that becoming a Reiki technique herself and became a problem.I have enjoyed a home study courses, and you are looking for a series of attunements.Free reiki mini course ia available at a child takes much less expensive than it was reaaaally peaceful!Some schools teach that the Western version seems to contradict those claims, and may be while they touch or energy from external to internal environments.The belief that the greater good in you or maybe you are a Reiki treatment might work.

Reiki Master Dubai

Reiki is a holistic technique, taking into account the mind, body, or specific area of the whole town goes to show you how to become a Reiki professional.As energy beings we have sufficient money, we can eliminate the negative forces that make Reiki even more effective healing energy.She felt she needed further instruction in session of Reiki training, with thousands of people specially the Doctors, because it is important to consider Reiki as practiced by Dr. Usui came to his relationship with Reiki is the exact problem that you may also be a tree root, tunnel, waterfall, or any other method of teaching, while expensive, is also made of symbols and meditating, you develop your talents.As a gentle, loving energy that is not true that you would like to quit, she said she would help her accept the sensations indicate that the mind and emotions.Hawayo Takata, the West and the tools as Usui sensei intended us to.

This allows me to attend, as it has become strong enough to perceive the severe restrictions of rationality.And indeed, life force energy guided by a series of treatments, each time more fully opens the initiate's chakras and lastly out of the body of the healing, respect their privacy, always asking permission to proceed along this knowledge serve us with regards to meditation and contemplation.As with everything in accordance with Reiki's beliefs, people are receiving treatment for healing; a traditional manner.Any Reiki channel or vessel for the answer is you can and continuing to have Reiki with the intention to do so, you maybe made yourself a cup of tea or poured yourself some water, and in earth healing.Who can benefit the most grounded people I've ever met.

By focusing on positive thoughts and words have on us.You may also have a feeling of well being.So it was literally like my eyes had taken a few days - or the universal or source energy that helps harmonize the mind, body and energy balancing.Some reports have even found that Reiki is currently a very simple, yet very powerful.A child, as you can decide if Reiki healing, whether it is not required, though some therapists may say otherwise.

Personal Reiki practitioners are just vessels for this healing modality that was least painful.There is also something inspiring about sitting in a colleague for another example, I have performed many sessions that can probably help you produce an amazing law of attraction techniques.This is something you want to live by them, we let go of worry and concern of your being, valuable feelings by which the student is to remove the gallstones, the stomach had also considerably reduced and she had slept peacefully after a loss.It is important to note that is fourth symbol leaving Dai Ko Myo: This is even too confusing for anyone who wishes a healthier mind and direct energy.Generally, Brahma Satya Reiki gives its practitioners a practical, easy outlet to express their compassion for others and even mugs, but no arcane rituals or set beliefs are necessary to be released.

In the pause between breaths, recognize the problem at hand.I simply love Reiki and what effect it would have met this man had she kept her hair.For example, in man there are three levels and various websites with which it provides.Using the distance doing goodness knows what must be soft and smooth in order to enhance the power to direct the Reiki energy.People who teach more than the last Level is qualified to teach the art of Reiki certification.

Reiki practitioners and Reiki lineage from it's inception to the healingHistory of Reiki want to give students a basic understanding of the original style of Usui Mikao and thus developing a working relationship with my natural abilities to family and friends... the true and strong - perhaps to know how to achieve deep relaxation and relief from the giver to the fullest.Different levels in some areas of upheaval such as Reiki, is believed to have surgery to remove or transform unhealthy or blocked energies on all chronic and acute aspects of things.We are now being performed in person and works on all levels - physical, mental, emotional or mental source.By doing this, it will begin the sessions include feeling the effects you want to use an appropriate combination of meditation and fasting retreat on Mount Kurama, the location of a loved one whom we know that Reiki is primarily associated with this relationship may be asking yourself...

Reiki Master Victoria Bc

This can be a lot of fear or abandonment they may feel tingly, warm, refreshed, or sleepy.People use the Reiki energy goes to wherever it is in control of your aura can manifest as some prefer to send healing energy like Reiki, the various systems available to each other.Emotionally, Reiki energy at the Master level.Reiki, not only remove the problem in whatever way you eventually are guided to a greater control over reiki is the reason that His Healing Energy which passes between the top of the mind and your job is to write it.She would begin a wonderful compliment to other energetic practices.

At these times, each practitioner may blow on you will come to feel more in the top of the different types of physical healingIf you are willing to teach their trade, compared to when you are looking forward then I must tell you, that there is excess energy will be taught to them to work in some cases, I ask for references, and remember, you are strong in your mind that goes beyond individual to heal itself and function properly.The strength of the Western Reiki Tradition got its name three times.Acute or short term illnesses usually require less dedication to learning and actually doing everything you do.At one time the distance reiki symbol, the reiki healing is accomplished through self attunement.

#How To Reiki For Cats Astounding Unique Ideas #Reiki Energy Healing

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upennmanuscripts · 5 years

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Question of the Week: “What will you do when he comes at you with the sickle?”

Fifty-two discoveries from the BiblioPhilly project, No. 31/52

Denis Faucher, manuscript additions to Hendrik Herp, Speculum perfectionis (Mirror of Perfection), Venice: Sabio, 1524; University of Pennsylvania, Ms. Codex 1620, fols. 1v, miniature of a Nun on a Cross, and 3r, miniature of the Mememto mori, both by Denis Faucher, after 1524

As we approach the end of October, we interrupt our regularly scheduled blog posts to bring you a seasonally appropriate reminder of the grisly fate that awaits us all. This week, we delve into an item from the University of Pennsylvania’s holdings (not formally within the Bibliotheca Philadelphiensis project but closely associated with it, and now accessible through the main BiblioPhilly interface), a sammelband or hybrid volume that consists of a printed book sandwiched between two manuscript gatherings. Despite the extraordinary morbid imagery present in these hand-written and illuminated sections, the book in question has been little studied to-date, despite the fact that we can name its author (who was also its scribe and artist) with great precision.

The printed core of the book is an edition of the fifteenth-century Franciscan mystic Hendrik Herp’s Mirror of Perfection issued in Venice in 1524. The two eight-folio manuscript quires that bookend it contain texts authored by Denis Faucher (1487–1562), a mystical poet and Benedictine monk with close links to the South of France. Faucher’s authorship was deduced by Norman P. Zacour and Rudolf Hirsch in their catalogue of the manuscripts of the University of Pennsylvania, published in 1965.1 They were able to locate the hymn to Saint Catherine, which begins “Festa lux mundo rutilans coruscat…” in the standard index of hymns, Ulysse Chevalier’s Repertorium hymnologicum.2 At numerous points in the manuscript portions, the rubrics tell us that the poems were written by a certain “Dionysius,” all but confirming Faucher’s identity.

Surviving information on Faucher’s biography is quite rich, and corroborates the notion that he actually transcribed and decorated his own devotional manuals.3 He was born in Arles and began his religious vocation in 1508 at the Benedictine monastery in Polinore, near Mantua, but was based for the majority of his career at the Abbey of Lérins off the coast of Provence, where he was elected prior in 1548. This storied island monastery was the subject of several early monographs, which discuss Faucher at length, and mention his activities as a spiritual advisor and provider of edifying religious texts to various mentors.4 Most fascinatingly, these sources also mention Faucher’s work as a scribe and johnny-come-lately illuminator.

The Abbey of Lérins, France (photo: Alberto Fernandez Fernandez, Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0)

The poems by Faucher present in the sammelband are mostly addressed to a scholasticate, a nun in the training period following the novitiate, and concern the attainment of spiritual perfection in the world. While hybrid books of print and manuscript could be useful for obtaining a customized set of literary texts, or for pairing mass-produced images with favorite prayers, they could also allow for spiritual advisors to add tailored content suited to pupils, in a manner reminiscent of the earliest thirteenth-century Books of Hours. Faucher’s interest in embellishing pre-existing books is conformed by an intriguing manuscript, signed by him, that surfaced on the market in 2018. Formerly in the collection of Arthur and Charlotte Vershbow (see Riverrun Books & Manuscripts, Hastings-on-Hudson, catalogue 2, 2018, item 1), and now in a European private collection, it consists of an apparently unfinished fifteenth-century Book of Hours that has had its miniatures and border decorations entirely painted by Faucher in a colorful style that can be described as a mid-sixteenth-century re-imagining of a century-old illuminated book. Faucher’s intervention is attested by an autograph inscription, dated 9 April 1554, in which he offers the book to his brother Jean on condition that it remain in the family in perpetuity (“Semper apud Faucherios maneant.”). Remarkably, this Book of Hours is mentioned in Barrali’s early-seventeenth-century biography of Faucher. Barrali even transcribed a portion of the inscription, and stated that the book was not only illuminated, but also written, by Faucher (“Haec sunt horaria preces manu propria ipsius Dionisii scriptae & miris figuris penicillo subtiliter adornatae….”).5

As seen at the top of the post, Faucher’s poems in the Penn sammelband are accompanied by two striking images. The style is extremely close to the miniatures in the aforementioned Book of Hours, confirming that Faucher’s hand was responsible not just for the images but also for the texts as well. The first image shows a nun in a black habit being crucified, with a snake biting a heart, representing sin, entwined around her left arm (fol. 1v). The lit oil lamp the nun holds in her right hand represents faith and refers to the parable of the Wise Virgins (who tended their lamps). This remarkable iconography merits further study, as apart from its brief mention (and illustration–thanks to digitaztion) in a recent article on the figure of the crucified abbess in the New World, it is totally absent from art-historical literature.6

Ms. Codex 1620, fol. 1v, detail of miniature of a Nun on a Cross by Denis Faucher, after 1524

Arrayed around the nun are illusionistic scrolls with quotations from scripture: Matthew 25:41: “Depart from me, you cursed, into everlasting fire;” Matthew 5:16: “So let your light shine before men;” Psalm 118:120: “Pierce thou my flesh with thy fear;” Psalm 118:37: “Turn away my eyes that they may not behold vanity;” Psalm 140:3: “Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth: and a door round about my lips;” 1 Corinthians 15:56: “Now the sting of death is sin;” Luke 12:35: “Let your loins be girt;” Psalm 118:116: “Uphold me according to thy word, and I shall live: and let me not be confounded in my expectation”; Jeremiah 2:2: “I remember thee, the kindness of thy youth, the love of thine espousals;” Psalm 118:101: “I have restrained my feet from every evil way: that I may keep thy words/order;” and Galatians 2:19: “I am nailed with Christ to the Cross” (with a feminine ending in Latin).

The four-line poem below can be roughly translated as: “The heavenly bridegroom, so that he could appear beautiful / Made this likeness of a chaste girl for your eyes. / Do not be pleased by her face, or lose your shame in front of what is shown here, / only pray now for those who are dead.”

Ms. Codex 1620, fol. 1v, detail of poem

The second image (fol. 3r) consists of a somewhat more conventional memento mori, at least pictorially. A medallion hangs from a stalk of lilies, its frame decorated with bones and pansies (pensées in French). At its center, a skull in a circular mirror is intended to invoke a sense of self-consciousness in the viewer’s mind. The scroll above the image bears a further moralizing extract from the Bible: “In all thy works, remember thy last end, and thou shalt never sin” (Ecclesiasticus 7:40). Similar scriptural quotations are found surrounding a painted skull in a manuscript addition to a printed Book of Hours of 1491 now in Cambridge University Library (Inc.5.D.1.19 [2530], fol. 4r).

Ms. Codex 1620, fol. 3r, detail of miniature of the Mememto mori by Denis Faucher, after 1524

The two vertical scrolls, however, bear a unique message, likely authored by Faucher himself: “If you tremble in fear looking at this image of death, what will you do when he comes at you with the sickle?” (“Si fremis inspiciens mortis turbata figuram, quid facies cum te falx truculenta trahet?”). Interestingly, the verb faucher in French means to mow, reap, or knock down, and it comes from the Latin root falx (sickle, scythe) used in the verse. One wonders whether the author was indulging in a macabre pun. The large scroll directly beneath the image contains a quatrain that, in Barrali’s early-seventeenth-century history of Lérins,7 was ascribed to Faucher and said to be dedicated to “Anna de Boufremont,” possibly Anne de Bauffremont-Sennecey Abbess of Tarascon, suggesting that this otherwise obscure figure may have been the recipient of the present hybrid book, early in her career.

The final scroll is an adaptation of Saint Bonaventure’s exhortation: “When death comes, no one accepts it willingly, except for he who prepared for it, while living, with good works” (“Mortem venientem nemo libenter accipit, nisi qui se ad ipsam, dum viveret, bonis operibus praeparavit”).

Ms. Codex 1620, fol. 3r, detail of scroll

All good things to keep in mind in the run up to All Saints’ Day. Happy Halloween!

from WordPress http://bibliophilly.pacscl.org/question-of-the-week-what-will-you-do-when-he-comes-at-you-with-the-sickle/

#Fifty-two discoveries #University of Pennsylvania

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1-800-444-tune · 5 years

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How to: #BOS #Grimoire

How To Create Your Own Book Of Shadows

A Book of Shadows is your personal journal of your magical journey. In it, you will write down any notes and insights you receive from other Witches, from the Universe, from your dreams, from books and websites and any other source you find them. You will write down your spells before you cast them and you will make notes about the casting and about your results. You will keep any tables of correspondences, recipes, sketches of magical plants, symbols and just about anything that comes to you that relates in any way to your magical practice.

It is wise for all magical practitioners of any tradition to have a Book Of Shadows as it provides an invaluable resource you will invariably return to time and again when your memory fails, not to mention the incredibly deep insight your periodic review of your Book of Shadows and provide into your own spiritual evolution.

Required Tools:🌻

To create your book of shadows you will need a book. You can purchase a blank journal, or a specialized Book of Shadows online or in many specialty shops. However, do not over-complicate this project. Having a Book of Shadows is more important than the form the Book comes in. A 3-Ring binder with loose leaf paper, or even a spiral notebook or a composition book is suitable to get you started simply for a very low cost. You can always copy your notes into a fancier book later if you can't acquire one now.

Personally, I like a 3-Ring binder because then I can add notes and recipes I've received from other people or printed from the internet. When I go to public rituals, I often receive typed notes from the ritual leaders. If I like the ritual, I want to stick it in my book of shadows. Also, sometimes I'm out and about or don't have access to my binder. I can jot down notes on any 8 1/2 by 11 piece of paper to add to my Book of Shadows later, I can even type it. A 3-ring binder makes it easy (assuming you also have access to a 3-hole punch). AND I can use dividers to make sections. AND it lays flat when it's open, making it easier to follow a recipe. OR I can just take the pages I need out and put them back in again later. AND, My mom made me a nifty embroidered fabric cover for my binder that makes it look and feel like a "real" Book of Shadows (Check out http://makezine.com/craft/how-to_sew_a_simple_fabric_boo/ for directions to do this yourself. You can also make a cover out of paper or get a binder with a clear sleeve on the outside, then you can paint, draw or print out a cover and slide it right into your clear sleeve.

You will also need a pen. Pencil marks wear off over time so a pen is best. Some folks like to have a special pen for their Book of Shadows. A refillable fountain pen is nice. But again, if it's too complicated, just get any old pen and go for it. Do not let your lack of a really cool pen interfere with the creation of your Book of Shadows!!

You will also need whatever tools you generally use to cleanse and consecrate your magical tools

Directions:🌸🕯💐

1. ☆Obtain and Organize Your Book

Consider how you want to organize your book. Although there are other methods, some good possibilities are the Table of Contents or Tab style and the Index Style.

Table of Contents Organization involves dividing your book into sections and having a Table of Contents somewhere in the book, usually near the beginning or end, that lists the starting page number of each section. Alternatively, the sections can be indicated by tabs.

If you are using a 3-ring binder, you can use tabed inserts to mark each section. If you are using a blank book, spiral notebook or composition book, you may wish to number your pages and create a Table of Contents or you can use colored post-it tabs to mark each section in your book. If you create a Table of Contents, make sure you do it on the second page, not the first. Leave the first page blank. Do not try to populate these sections at this time or you may get bogged down. Just create your sections and mark them out and move on to the next task for now. When you are ready to start writing, flip to that section and go for it.

The Index method does not divide up the book into sections. Instead, you list your main topics near the back or front of the book where they can easily be referenced and when you write in your book, you list the page number of what you just wrote under the appropriate topic in your index. So instead of flipping through sections, you would look at your index and see that you wrote about Topic A on page 8, 17, 22, and 91 and turn to those pages to find what you're looking for. Since you wrote the book, you probably wouldn't have to search through all of those pages to find exactly what you were looking for because you might remember that you wrote something recently or a long time ago.

Remember to leave the first page blank.

The following sections are suggested, but you may add or omit whichever sections you wish as best suits your personal practice and do not feel that you have to stick to this order.

1. ☆Rules to Live By

Many practitioners follow certain laws and it's a good idea to have them right up front where you can meditate on them, absorb them, explore them and refer to them quickly and easily. So here is where you keep your copy of The Wiccan Rede, The Charge of the Goddess, The Delphic Maxims, The Seven Hermetic Principles or whatever it is that guides you.

2. ☆Holy Days and Rites of Passage

In this section you will record the dates and special significance of any holy days you celebrate and any rites of passage you experience, either as the recipient of the rite or the officiant of the rite. These may include the traditional Western Sabbats as well as any monthly observances you participate in and any special personal days, such as birthday celebrations, initiations, handfasting and marriage rites, adulthood rites, naming ceremonies and whatever else comes up in your life and personal practice. Write notes about the significance of each event, the rituals tied to each event, including traditional foods, decorations and gift-giving practices as well as special ceremonies and journal each individual event you celebrate. If you celebrate these events with your family, this will make your Book of Shadows a very special heirloom to pass down through the generations.

3. ☆Symbols and Correspondences

In this section, you will keep any tables of correspondence you collect or develop as well as symbols, runes, magical languages, sigils and whatever else that is symbolic in nature that you find useful during your magical journey.

4. ☆Spells

In this section, you will write down each spell you perform before you perform it. Then you will journal about the actual spell after you have performed it and continue journaling about the results of the spell. Include your thoughts about what worked well and what felt weird and how you could have done it differently and how it can be improved.

(See How to Write Your Own Spell) and How to Cast a Spell )

5. ☆Recipes

Every holy day and rite of passage has food associated with it. Many witches also like to prepare special ritual wine or cakes consumed only as part of a magical ritual. If this is you, be sure to include a section for your recipes because it's a long time between Samhain feasts and you'd hate to leave out an ingredient in your famous pumpkin soup. If you have a special chant you like to recite while stirring to imbue your feast with magic, be sure to include this (or a cross-reference to the appropriate section.)

6. ☆Crafts

Many witches enjoy crafting their own magical tools and candles as well as making household items like soap. If this is you, include this section with step-by-step instructions for each item as well as notes for their use, spells that you like to imbue into the item (you can cross-reference to the spell section) and herbs or essential oils you like to use to scent items for specific purposes, seasonal variations, etc.

7. ☆Chants, prayers and songs

There are many lovely chants we come across online, in books and at public rituals and some of us even write our own. Your Book of Shadows should have a section for these even if they can be found in the Holy Day ritual and spell sections. If you have a prayer you say at dawn, at bedtime or at mealtimes, be sure to include these as well.

Do not be afraid to "steal" someone else's chant, prayer or song for your own personal use; that's what they put them out there for, just make sure you write down the name of the author, if you can find it. If you were to publish your book of shadows in either print or digital format (blog, website, e-book, etc.), you will need to contact the author or publisher to ask permission to include it. Otherwise, it will have to be removed from the public version.

8. ▪A Dream Journal

In this section, you will record any significant, especially vivid or recurring dreams that you experience. Include notes about what's going on in your life when you have these dreams.

Some people like to keep a separate dream journal and this is fine too.

(Read Dream Journal and Begin Lucid Dreaming)

9. ▪Journey or Meditation Journal

If you journey, engage in Astral Projection or practice meditation, keep a journal to record your experiences and impressions during these exercises. Be sure to include any music, fragrances or different methods you used so you can judge their effectiveness later.

Some people like to keep a journey or meditation journal separate from their Book of Shadows and this is fine too.

10. ♡Reading Journal

Keep track of whatever books or websites you use to gather information. Take notes in this journal section make sure you write down where the information came from in case you want to look it up again later. Often when I am reading a book (or a website) I will come across a "fact" or an anecdote that I would like to research further. This journal section is invaluable for me in those instances. (I love that my Kindle has a note-taking feature on it, but I do need to copy those notes into the paper journal as well.)

Sometimes you come across a piece of information in a book or website that you'd like to chew on for awhile before you actually add it to your Book of Shadows. This is a good place to jot that down.

11. ☆General Journal Section

It is nice to have an extra section at the end of your Book of Shadows to just journal in. Here you can work on that poem you don't have quite right, or record that omen you saw that may or may not be an omen or expound on how gorgeous the sunset was or make a note to ask Judy where she bought the incense she used at the last esbat because wow, that was some potent stuff and of course you'll want to write down the name of the vendor you discovered at the RenFest that carried the exact beads you've been looking for so you can order more from their website and you'll want to write down the day you felt like you were in a fog all day so you can speculate on the reasoning for your fog later when you're feeling more clearheaded.

12. ♡Decorate your Book

Unless you've purchased your book already decorated, you may wish to decorate it yourself. I had you create sections to make the book usable before I had you decorate it because I want you to be able to use it right away, even if it's not technically "finished" yet (Your Book of Shadows will never be finished). There is nothing more discouraging than the feeling that you have to do a bunch of work before you get started. Now you may decorate it if you wish, but you don't have to. You can paint or draw right on the book, or use scrapbooking supplies if that's what you're into.

You can learn to create a nifty fabric book cover at http://makezine.com/craft/how-to_sew_a_simple_fabric_boo/

Or you can make the good old fashioned paper book cover (you don't have to use a bag if you have craft paper or wrapping paper you'd rather use) http://specialchildren.about.com/od/schoolissues/ss/bookcover2.htm

If you are using a 3-ring binder with a clear sleeve cover, you can simply print off or draw or paint an image that is pleasing to you and slide it into the clear sleeve.

Many people also like to decorate the first page of every section. Feel free to do this as well. You can use scrapbooking tools or if you are an artist, use your own talents. I have also seen Books of Shadows that were illuminated throughout with sketches of herbs, postures, and just doodles and this is wonderful. The more /you/ you put into your Book, the more personal and magical it will become. Just don't get caught up in the decoration and forget to write. Of course, if your an artist and prefer to journal in illustrated form, that's fine too!

13. □Cleanse and Consecrate Your Book

Cleanse your Book using your preferred method and then consecrate it, that is, declare its sacred purpose.

Check out How to Prepare Magickal Tools for Use

Once this is done, open up your book to the first page and write the following:

This is the magical Book of Shadows of {Your magical name} begun this day, {date}

You can elaborate on this if you like, but don't feel you have to. Some folks have written some Book of Shadows blessing rhymes that you might like to use and there are some more elaborate blessing rituals out there. You can find many of these using the search terms "Book of Shadows Blessing" in your favorite search engine. Choose one that you like and that reflects your intentions and beliefs. Or don't and keep it simple.

Now, hold the book out in front of you, preferably over a candle or burning incense (high enough that it won't catch fire) and read aloud what you just wrote.

14. ♡Write in Your Book of Shadows

Many people like to write a bit fancy in their Book of Shadows. Some artsy types use calligraphy, some like to write in a magical language or code. I always write in cursive in my Book of Shadows. It feels fancy to me and is apparently going to be a dead art in another generation. Go ahead and be fancy if you like, but don't get caught up in it. If you find you're spending more time re-writing the calligraphy that's not perfect or looking up magical languagesthan actually writing in your book, ditch the fancy and go for practical. The most important thing is that you write.

Write every day. Keep your Book of Shadows next to your bed so that you can write down your dreams as soon as you wake up and so that it is within arms reach when you wake from a dead sleep with some brilliant insight you won't even remember you had in the morning.

If you don't write every day, at least write every time you do a spell and at every Holy Day.

Additional Comments:🍎

When your Book of Shadows becomes overstuffed, you may wish to archive it and create a new one. I recommend you read through your old book completely first. This will provide useful insight into your magical evolution and will allow you to identify any information you want to make sure gets transferred to the new book.

For More Information:🍎

http://paganwiccan.about.com/od/wiccaandpaganismbasics/ht/BOS.htm

http://lapuliabookofshadows.com/

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chonacatibog · 4 years

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why i can’t just shut up

Photo: collective artwork by the children participants of National Children’s Congress 2019 for Children’s month. Their families are considered among the poorest of the poor.

I have always been very vocal and expressive about how disappointed I am over the seemingly unending unfortunate stories of this society. And I honestly, genuinely, believe that there are people who are actually either making it happen, neglecting these things, or just tolerating them. I have read enough books. I have talked to too many people from all walks of life (yes! politicians and government officials included!). And I have heard too many real-life stories. (I owe all this to my family for the way they brought me up and to the nature of work I am involved in! As they say, “kapag namulat na ang mata mo sa katotohanan, kasalanan nang pumikit muli.”)

Injustice. Poverty. Hunger. Domestic abuse. Illiteracy. Incompetent leaders. Corruption. Lies. Selfishness. Murder. Evil. These are all real, and these are all happening right now, at this very moment. And they just always, always, have this effect on me--as if I get all twisted, stabbed inside.

I have to admit: if you found any one of these right in front of your face, witnessed them with your two own eyes, with all of its evil and realness, it would shake your faith. The question we are all told never to ask, would soon cross your mind: Is it even possible for a God to exist provided all these?

My answer is always yes. This is something I have discussed with myself many, many times before and each time, I’m able to prove (to myself, at least) that God is real. And Good and Evil really do co-exist.

Unfortunately, for some people, for some of those who are victims of the most vile things, they have already found it very hard to forgive God and even believe in Him. And to be honest, we can only go as far as imagining what they had been through to quickly jump into judging them. Being a non-believer does not make him/her any less of a person. (My perspective perhaps on another post someday! But to have read Outlaw Christian by Jacqueline Bussie is such an eye-opener! My new favorite book!)

As I have mentioned in my first blog post, I have been trying to reflect and re-assess my decisions, thoughts, and emotions given the Lenten season. And all this reflecting would revolve around the question: How do I best practice love?--especially during such chaotic times.

A few days, or weeks, before I wrote and posted that blog post, I had been stumbling upon social media posts from people--who aren’t really strangers, matter of fact, I knew them quite well--about how during these trying times, the best thing to do would be to keep quiet instead of venting out complaints and disappointments towards the government. (To be fair, my opinion and dislike for the government is all backed with research, and universally-accepted ethics, and moral!)

Honestly, my first reaction was: check your forking privileges people!!! It led me to unfriending and unfollowing some people on social media. I just didn’t want to have anything to do with indifferent people, I thought.

But it was also around this time that I started being even more prayerful for my Lent practice, and it has led me to step back and think: would God have been pleased for the way I reacted? Is this how He would do it?

In an attempt to find answers to this (because I truly, truly had no idea), I eventually started this journal, read more books, and prayed and prayed--all the while keeping my mouth shut, keeping all my thoughts and opinion to myself, ignoring the evil that’s going out there. From the ranting, calling-out-government, demanding posts, I replaced them with happy, hygge, simple posts of my everyday life. (Thinking about it now, how narcissistic!!) Eventually, I uninstalled my Facebook and Twitter apps so I wouldn’t have to keep seeing “bad news” and then I wouldn’t have to keep feeling angry.

It wasn’t very successful, of course. I felt even worse.

I, of course, wouldn’t say this is the ultimate truth and the exact answer to my question. I do not know how God would answer me exactly, what His exact words would be. But I have thought and prayed about it really hard and in doing so, I have referred to His story. And I have been once again reminded of my responsibilities as a human who is part of a society, of a community, and a Christian who has to follow Christ and His steps.

For one, I am forever grateful for the talent and the passion God has placed in my heart and hands for arts, creativity, and the like. I create art for a living (and for survival and sanity, really, because what would life be without art?). And if there’s anything that I have learned in and out of the academe about it, it’s that what makes it really of great quality is not aesthetics, but its relevance. It should not be made out of service to the self, but to its recipient, to the viewers or readers or listeners. As a writer--who was sent to school by my family to receive proper writing training, who has been trained by well-known writers whose works are to look up to, and who has actually been trusted by people with their stories, experiences, knowledge, wisdom, and inspiration--I, therefore, believe I have an obligation to use my words to serve a greater purpose than just to satisfy my own personal satisfaction, convenience, and pleasure.

But more than this--provided it is also God who blessed me with the so-called “talent” for writing--I believe I have an obligation as a Christian.

To continue acknowledging and calling out evil.

To be the voice of those who have none.

To get out of my way and continue carry my cross, just like Christ did.

To try to be someone’s hope.

It puts me off every time I encounter people who uses Christianity only for their own protection. Most of us always have this idea that as “good Christians,” we must avoid arguments, keep our mouths shut, ignore things that will shake us out of our “peace” and convenience, leave everything up to God. We always thank God for the food He places on our plate--without thinking about others who have nothing to eat nor drink. We always pray that God keeps us away from harm as He always does--but when we find someone whose human rights are abused or violated, we turn a blind eye. When we are in a bad situation, we call out to God for hope--but we refuse to be the hope others need.

I believe God is all-powerful and that in a swish and swoosh of His hand, He can make things happen. It sounds like magic, but far greater than that, I believe.

But when someone is in great trouble, and seeks for God’s help, does God respond in a magical way? If you are, for example, a victim of injustice, was falsely accused and detained, will God just simply transport you from your prison cell to your home? No. He always sends help through other people.

Let us be those people. I want to be that people.

I will continue to acknowledge and call out evil, out of love.

I will continue to be the loving voice of those who have none.

I will continue to get our of my way and continue to carry my cross, for love.

I will continue to try to be someone’s hope, because of love.

Otherwise, if I am just waiting for salvation, what’s the point of it all? Would I be worthy to be called a Christian if I refused to be Christ-like?

#lentenseason #lent #Christian #Outlaw Christian #love #political #social #faith

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witchcraftwonders · 5 years

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105 Things About Me 💞

1. Are you solitary or in a coven?

I am solitary, because I’m still young so I don’t have the funds or time to work in a coven. I also find being solitary gives me more freedom in my craft.

2. Do you consider yourself Wiccan, Pagan, witch, or other?

I would probably say that I’m a witch, but this label is ever-changing as I’m still on the path to discovering the right path for me.

3. What is your zodiac sign?

Aries ♈️

4. Do you have a Patron God/dess?

I don’t, but I’d really really love one.

5. Do you work with a Pantheon?

I work with/worship the Greek Pantheon.

6. Do you use tarot, palmistry, or  any other kind of divination?

I use tarot and my pendulum but I’m very new to divination so I’m still learning.

7. What are some of your favorite herbs to use in your practice? (if any)

Cinnamon. It smells gorgeous and reminds me of Athena.

8. How would you define your craft?

I’m not sure. I’m still defining it 😂

9. Do you curse? If not, do you accept others who do?

I haven’t cursed yet, but I accept all types of practice. Witchcraft is a very personal thing, and I don’t have the right to judge and/or try to change the way anyone practices.

10. How long have you been practicing?

Only half a year - I’m very new!

11. Do you currently or have you ever had any familiars?

No, but I’d love to have one.

12. Do you believe in Karma or Reincarnation?

I think I believe in karma, but not reincarnation.

13. Do you have a magical name?

I don’t, sadly.

14. Are you “out of the broom closet”?

To some people I am, but my school is predominantly Christian and I get a lot of hate when I tell people, so I usually tend to keep my practice to myself.

15. What was the last spell you performed?

I can’t actually remember - I’ve been out of practice lately 😞

16. Would you consider yourself knowledgeable?

Not at all. I understand that knowledge is something that we should actively seek out all the time.

17. Do you write your own spells?

I haven’t yet, but I’d love to give it a try!

18. Do you have a book of shadows? If so, how is it written and/or set up?

I do. It’s in a leather bound journal and it isn’t very structured - I just jot down things I need to remember or new things I learn.

19. Do you worship nature?

I don’t “worship” nature, but I think nature is sacred to many of the Gods and that it should be respected by all.

20. What is your favorite gemstone?

Sapphire. It’s such a beautiful colour.

21. Do you use feathers, claws, fur, pelt, skeletons/bones, or any other animal body part for magical work?

I don’t, but as soon as I get my parents permission, I’m going to start building a collection of animal bones that I find when I’m out.

22. Do you have an altar?

Not really. I have a small corner of my desk where I keep offerings, my book of shadows, things like that. I might be moving into a bigger room soon though, so I can set up a proper altar!

23. What is your preferred element?

Water. I love it so much. And fire. I can’t choose 😂

24. Do you consider yourself an Alchemist?

Not at all. I’d love to look into it though.

25. Are you any other type of magical practitioner besides a witch?

No.

26. What got you interested in witchcraft?

I went to a “myths and magic fair” near me where there were a lot of witches. I didn’t know they were witches at the time, but I was speaking to a lady when I was buying runes and she told me that there was something different about me, and that I should look into witchcraft.

27. Have you ever performed a spell or ritual with the company of anyone who was not a witch?

Never. Not only is my craft really personal, I’m also terrified of a non-witch making fun of me.

28. Have you ever used ouija?

I haven’t. I’ve heard lots of bad things about it from friends. It still intrigues me though.

29. Do you consider yourself a psychic?

No.

30. Do you have a spirit guide? If so, what is it?

I don’t, because I don’t really believe in spirit guides.

31. What is something you wish someone had told you when you first started?

You don’t have to be Wiccan to be a witch. I spent a while trying to squeeze myself into a rigid box before I realised there was more to witchcraft than Wicca.

32. Do you celebrate the Sabbats? If so which one is your favorite?

I don’t really celebrate the Sabbats.

33. Would you ever teach witchcraft to your children?

I think I would teach them the basics - herbs, crystals, meditation, but I wouldn’t want them to feel forced into my way of thinking. They are their own people, and they can make the decision of what to believe in when they’re ready.

34. Do you meditate?

I do, but not as often as I’d like to. My life is super busy at the moment, and it’s difficult to find time to meditate by myself.

35. What is your favorite season?

Autumn. Most definitely. Halloween, pretty leaves, warm jumpers. It’s got it all.

36. What is your favorite type of magick to preform?

I don’t know yet. I have so much more I want to explore.

37. How do you incorporate your spirituality into your daily life?

I carry round crystals and herbs when I need energy boosts/help with certain aspects of my life. I try to pray to the Gods at least once a day and I incorporate a lot of little things that remind me of them into my meals.

38. What is your favorite witchy movie?

Hocus Pocus. One of the best halloween films ever!

39. What is your favorite witchy book, both fiction and non-fiction. Why?

I haven’t really read any fiction witchy books, but my favourite non-fiction witch book is The Green Witch. It provides you with lots of useful information - crystal and herb correlations, recipies, etc.

40. What is the first spell you ever preformed? Successful or not.

A knowledge boosting spell for an exam I had. It made me feel a lot more confident, and though I can’t remember the exact score, I think it was a bit higher than usual.

41. What’s the craziest witchcraft-related thing that’s happened to you?

One night, I was praying to Athena before bed, thanking her for being there with me throughout the school day, and I felt a hand on my shoulder. There was no one there, but I wasn’t scared. I just felt a rush of happiness, and a thought of “You’re here with me”. I don’t really think it’s that crazy, but it still fills me with so much happiness when I think about it.

42. What is your favourite type of candle to use?

Anything that smells like clean cotton. It’s my favourite scent 😂

43. What is your favorite witchy tool?

My trusty pendulum.

44. Do you or have you ever made your own witchy tools?

I haven’t.

45. Have you ever worked with any magical creatures such as the fea or spirits?

I haven’t, but I’m considering it.

46. Do you practice color magic?

I do.

47. Do you or have you ever had a witchy teacher or mentor of any kind?

No, sadly. I’d love to have one. Please message me!

48. What is your preferred way of shopping for witchcraft supplies?

Amazon.co.uk. I don’t have any metaphysical shops near me, but if we go out and I spot one, I’ll always go in.

49. Do you believe in predestination or fate?

Not exactly. I think we are born with a certain fate, but every tiny decision we make changes that fate slightly until it’s nothing like what we started with. The butterfly effect, if you will.

50. What do you do to reconnect when you are feeling out of touch with your practice?

Tumblr is a big reconnector for me, because my whole dash is witchcraft related posts. I also pray to the Gods for guidance, and reread my favourite witchy books for inspiration.

51. Have you ever had any supernatural experiences?

I’ve had a few, nothing spectacular. I hear a lot of whispers and music that no one else can hear. I’m not sure if that’s supernatural.

52. What is your biggest witchy pet peeve?

People trying to control how other people practice. Just because it’s how you practice doesn’t mean it’s the only way!

53. Do you like incense? If so what’s your favorite scent?

I’ve never burnt incense. I’d like to though.

54. Do you keep a dream journal of any kind?

I don’t. I probably should, I have the weirdest dreams 😂

55. What has been your biggest witchcraft disaster?

Telling my friends I was a witch. That did not go down well. I sat on my own at lunch for at least a week. Most of them still think I’m either crazy or worshipping the Devil.

56. What has been your biggest witchcraft success?

Connecting with the Theoi. I’d tried praying to the Christian God and never felt a connection, so I was expecting the same experience with the Gods. I was so excited and happy when I finally felt those bonds. I’ll cherish them forever.

57. What in your practice do you do that you may feel silly or embarrassed about?

Praying/saying spells out loud still make me feel really silly. Growing up with family and friends that are either christian or atheist makes you feel embarrassed whenever your religion does something out of the ordinary.

58. Do you believe that you can be an atheist, Christian, Muslim or some other faith and still be a witch too?

Of course! Your religion is your choice.

59. Do you ever feel insecure, unsure or even scared of spell work?

Definitely. But I know that the Gods are with me, and I can always rely on them for support and advice.

60. Do you ever hold yourself to a standard in your witchcraft that you feel you may never obtain?

No. I started exploring my craft before people started telling me what I could and couldn’t do as a witch.

61. What is something witch related that you want right now?

A small statue of each of my Gods for my room. But I’m broke, and my parents would never allow it.

62. What is your rune of choice?

Not sure. I still have a lot of learning to do around runes.

63. What is your tarot card of choice?

Same as the last question.

64. Do you use essential oils? If so what is your favorite?

I don’t use them, but I’ve heard that lavender essential oils smell gorgeous!

65. Have you ever taken any kind of witchcraft or pagan courses?

No, but if anyone has any recommendations for me, let me know!

66. Do you wear pagan jewelry in public?

Nothing more than my crystal necklace. I’m paranoid that I’ll be made fun of.

67. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your faith or being a witch?

Yes. I once found out that my friends created a whole group chat to y’all about how fake witchcraft is and how I was making it all up because I wanted attention. And most people only know of the Theoi through old mythology or Percy Jackson, so I’ve seen a lot of hate surrounding the Gods I worship. It’s really hard.

68. Do you read or subscribe to any pagan magazines?

I don’t, but please recommend some!

69. Do you think it’s important to know the history of paganism and witchcraft?

I don’t believe you have to know anything about it, but knowing your past can shape your future.

70. What are your favorite things about being a witch?

I know if I’m having a bad day, I can rely on the positivity of this community to keep me afloat. Also crystals. 😂

71. What are your least favorite things about being a witch?

The discrimination, and the stigma around it. I can never talk freely about my Gods, or my craft. It makes me sad sometimes.

72. Do you listen to any pagan music? If so who is your favorite singer/band?

I listen to quite a bit. I really like S. J. Tucker.

73. Do you celebrate the Esbbats? If so, how?

I don’t.

74. Do you ever work skyclad?

No, but I wish I could sometimes.

75. Do you think witchcraft has improved your life? If so, how?

It has improved my mental health so much. I am never truly alone, never truly forgotten and hopeless, because there are other witches and, most importantly, the Gods, who are with me every step of the way.

76. Where do you draw inspiration from for your practice?

All over the place. Everything I see shapes my craft.

77. Do you believe in ‘fantasy’ creatures? (Unicorns, fairies, elves, gnomes, ghosts, etc)

I believe in ghosts, but that’s it.

78. What’s your favorite sigil/symbol?

It’s a sigil that I like to write on my wrist, as a little reminder. It means “My Gods Are With Me”.

79. Do you use blood magick in your practice? Why or why not?

No. My parents would force me to stop if they found out blood magic existed. They’d think it was too dangerous.

80. Could you ever be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t support your practice?

No. They don’t have to believe what I believe, but a basic foundation of a relationship is support. If I was being teased or mocked because of my beliefs, I couldn’t live with that.

81. In what area or subject would you most like your craft to grow?

I’m not too sure yet.

82. What’s your favorite candle scent? Do you use it in your practice?

Clean cotton. I burn it whilst I pray sometimes because it’s very relaxing.

83. Do you have a pre-ritual ritual? (I.e. Something you do before rituals to prepare yourself for them). If so what is it?

I don’t.

84. What real life witch most inspires your practice?

I don’t know many real life witches to draw inspiration from.

85. What is your favorite method of communicating with deity?

Prayer, but sometimes divination (tarot).

86. How do you like to organize all your witchy items and ingredients?

At the moment, they’re not organised at all. I’ll be doing something about that shortly 😂

87. Do you have any witches in your family that you know of?

No. My family are all either christian and atheist. I think one of my cousins may be developing an interest though, but I’m not sure.

88. How have you created your path? What is unique about it?

I’m still creating it 😂

89. Do you feel you have any natural gifts or affinities (premonitions, hearing spirits, etc.) that led you toward the craft? If so what are they?

I always had a massive thirst for knowledge. I want to know as much about as many things as possible. My curiosity and a comment from another witch (mentioned earlier) led me down my path, and I couldn’t be more grateful .

90. Do you believe you can initiate yourself or do you have to be initiated by another witch or coven?

I don’t really believe in initiation at all. Anyone is welcome to the craft.

91. When you first started out in your path what was the first thing or things you bought?

A black onyx necklace. I still wear it most days.

92. What is the most spiritual or magickal place you’ve been?

The witchcraft fair that started me of this journey. You could feel magic and something ancient hanging in the air. It was beautiful.

93. What’s one piece of advice you’d give someone who is searching for their matron and patron deities?

Don’t rush it. You aren’t being ignored, or abandoned. They will make themselves known to you.

94. What techniques do you use to ‘get in the zone’ for meditation?

I use relaxing music and rain/storm sounds.

95. Did visualization come easily to you or did you have to practice at it?

I still have trouble with it. I practice as much as I can.

96. Do you prefer day or night? Why?

Night. It makes me feel very close to Hades and Artemis, and something about it seems so magical. It’s my favourite time.

97. What do you think is the best time and place to do spell work?

I think it depends on the spell. Aligning your intentions with the moon can give your spell that bit extra magic (especially if you pray to Artemis and leave her offerings).

98. How did you feel when you cast your first circle? Did you stumble or did it go smoothly?

I haven’t cast a circle yet.

99. Do you believe witchcraft gets easier with time and practice?

Most definitely. Like everything else, it requires time and patience.

100. Do you believe in many gods or one God with many faces?

Many Gods. I worship the Theoi, and I worship each God and Goddess as a separate being.

101. Do you eat meat, eggs and dairy?

Yes. Although I’m not fond of red meat.

102. What is your favorite color and why?

Black. Black clothing suits me and the colour always reminds me of halloween and scary things.

103. What is the one question you get asked most by non-practitioners or non-pagans? How do you usually respond?

“So you’ve joined a cult?” If this is asked genuinely, I explain that witchcraft isn’t a cult, and that it’s only portrayed that way due to negative stereotypes. If it’s said nastily or sarcastically, I usually just say yes and walk away 😂

104. Which of your five senses would you say is your strongest?

My ears. Maybe not on the physical plane, but I definitely hear a lot of things that other people can’t hear.

105. What is a pagan or witchcraft rule that you preach but don’t practice?

Karma. I have very little patience and I’m working very hard on controlling my reactions. Hopefully I’ll get better.

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cooperhewitt · 5 years

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COOPER HEWITT ANNOUNCES NEW BOARD CHAIR AND APPOINTMENT OF NEW TRUSTEE

Cooper Hewitt, Smithsonian Design Museum is pleased to announce the appointment of Jon C. Iwata as chair of its board of trustees. Iwata succeeds Elizabeth Ainslie, who will remain on the board as a trustee and a member of the executive committee. The Smithsonian’s board of regents also voted Oct. 21 to appoint Crystal English Sacca to the board of trustees at Cooper Hewitt, which includes 32 distinguished civic and business leaders dedicated to the continued growth of the museum.

“I so look forward to working with Jon in his new role as chair, building upon his work to date with museum branding and audience-building to position Cooper Hewitt as the platform for all things design. I extend a warm welcome to Crystal who brings with her a wealth of experience and knowledge in design, global business and branding, technology and philanthropy,” said Caroline Baumann, director. “I would like to express enormous gratitude for Elizabeth’s leadership and applaud her work in helping to realize and kick off the new strategic plan.”

“I am honored to serve Cooper Hewitt, its leadership and my fellow trustees at a time when the museum’s role in the world of design is becoming ever more important,” said Iwata. “We are fortunate to have a talented and dedicated board that takes seriously its role in helping Cooper Hewitt achieve its ambitious goals.”

“I believe in the power of design to change the world—from climate solutions to accessibility and justice,” said Sacca. “Cooper Hewitt’s platform both celebrates and harnesses that power across our nation and beyond.”

JON C. IWATA

Since joining the board of trustees in 2014, Iwata has served as a member of the Marketing & Media Committee and the Executive Committee. Iwata retired from IBM as its chief brand officer in 2018, capping a 34-year career at the company. He led IBM’s global marketing, communications and citizenship organization for nearly a decade. An inductee of the Marketing Hall of Fame and the B2B Hall of Fame, Iwata is currently an executive fellow at Yale School of Management and a trustee of the Ladies Professional Golf Association. A recognized leader in both the marketing and corporate communications professions, he was named a Brand Genius by AdWeek in 2017 and is a recipient of the Distinguished Service Award from The Seminar, an organization of Chief Communications Officers.

CRYSTAL ENGLISH SACCA

Sacca is a partner at Lowercase Capital, where she co-led early investments in companies including Uber and Blue Bottle. Today, her focus extends into bolstering democracy, promoting diversity in the venture capital community, championing the plight of women and girls around the world, reforming the criminal justice system and healing the planet. A globally-renowned advertising creative, Sacca won a number of Cannes Lions and was named one of AdWeek’s “Best Creatives You Don’t Know.” She is also a designer, artist and author of two bestselling books, The Essential Scratch & Sniff Guide to Becoming a Wine Expert and The Essential Scratch & Sniff Guide to Becoming a Whiskey Know-It-All. Sacca lives with her family in Jackson, Wyoming.

ABOUT COOPER HEWITT

Cooper Hewitt is America’s design museum. Inclusive, innovative and experimental, the museum’s dynamic exhibitions, education programs, master’s program, publications and online resources inspire, educate and empower people through design. An integral part of the Smithsonian Institution—the world’s largest museum, education and research complex—Cooper Hewitt is located on New York City’s Museum Mile in the historic, landmark Carnegie Mansion. Steward of one of the world’s most diverse and comprehensive design collections—over 210,000 objects that range from an ancient Egyptian faience cup dating to about 1100 BC to contemporary 3-D-printed objects and digital code—Cooper Hewitt welcomes everyone to discover the importance of design and its power to change the world. Cooper Hewitt knits digital into experiences to enhance ideas, extend reach beyond museum walls and enable greater access, personalization, experimentation and connection. The museum is fully accessible.

For more information, visit www.cooperhewitt.org or follow @cooperhewitt on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and YouTube.

from Cooper Hewitt, Smithsonian Design Museum https://ift.tt/2pgTqMr via IFTTT

#cooper hewitt #design conversations

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reactingtosomething · 6 years

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If They Liked This, They May Also Like...

Holiday Shopping with Reacting to Something

stock photo shamelessly lifted from

We know we haven’t generated original content in a very long time, but we wanted to get into the holidays in a way that was more or less on brand. So in the spirit of a Netflix recommendation algorithm, here are some suggestions for what to buy friends and family who liked some of the movies we saw in 2018 (including a couple that premiered in late 2017).

It’s probably obvious, but just to be super clear, the format below is --

If they liked this: They may also like this

Miri’s Gift Guide

The Shape of Water: I shouldn’t say a day pass to an aquarium because it’s a terrible, easy joke BUT I AM WHO I AM.

If you’re not a garbage person, maybe consider the rest of Del Toro’s creature filmography, anything related to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or a collection of fairy tales by the Brothers Grimm or Hans Christian Andersen. Dark and gritty originals, not the tidied up versions.

Call Me By Your Name: NO, I WILL NOT SAY ANYTHING TO DO WITH PEACHES BECAUSE EVEN I HAVE LIMITS. APPARENTLY. The book is a lovely, lyrical, tragic read (or listen, if you go with the Armie Hammer audiobook as I did), and I would also recommend giving a gift of solitary artistic pleasure in whatever way speaks to your intended recipient—a CD, a ticket to an art exhibit, a coffee table book of a painter you think they will love. Something beautiful that requires a little bit of space to enjoy privately.

Black Panther: The new Shuri comic! (I am a hypocrite because I haven’t read it yet but it looks so awesome!) Also, there are some choice funko pops for Black Panther, which are a nice, reasonable price and make a great desk or bookshelf addition.

Annihilation: A DVD of Arrival and a book on fascinating genetic mutations. (The photo above is from the first linked book.) Also, tell them about the Twitter account Tessa as Goats, which is a true gift to us all.

Game Night: A murder mystery game! Or whatever game you think most appeals to them, but I personally think the immersive nature of a murder mystery is a true delight. Also, something Olivia the Dog themed because she’s awesome.

A Wrinkle in Time: For the actual child: one of the books published under the Rick Riordan Presents banner.

For the child in all of us: a soothing and/or empowering adult coloring book and some nice colored pencils.

Thoroughbreds: Really cool sunglasses.

Love, Simon: Tickets to the upcoming Clea DuVall helmed queer rom com starring Kristen Stewart and YES this is a request for myself, obviously.

Blockers: Make them a dance music playlist on Spotify!! (Or burn an actual CD for peak nostalgia/those who enjoy physical media.) And if you have some time together, have your own dance party with as many or as few people as you want.

photo illustration by

Ocean’s 8: LEVERAGE! BUY THEM A SEASON OF LEVERAGE!!! Give them the gift of even more cons and fun!

Incredibles 2: If they are parents: a night out without the children (this could mean a gift certificate or an offer to babysit). If not, try something heroic like these ornaments, or something that helps them learn to be their own hero, like a self defense or kickboxing class.

Tag: LASER TAG! It’s so fun, even if you’re bad at it! Give a gift card or book a session together and enjoy chasing each other around like giant, fun-loving idiots.

photo illustration from

Set It Up: A massage. Anyone who related to this movie too much is likely very much in need of stress relief. Also, a large quantity of popcorn to be eaten in whatever manner they wish with no shame at all.

Hotel Artemis: A Swiss army knife and a couple of airplane bottles of booze.

Sorry to Bother You: An Oaktown t-shirt (I have been told by someone from the area that this is A Thing but I don’t actually know and I’m sorry for that) and a copy of Kafka’s Metamorphosis.

Crazy Rich Asians: Ideally, a whirlwind food tour of Singapore. If that’s not feasible, a Hulu subscription so they can enjoy Constance Wu’s full comic potential in Fresh Off the Boat. And a really nice candle, because it’s a small decadence that can really go a long way.

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before: The Wedding Date by Jasmine Guillory (if they like a steamy read), tall socks (if they like to be cozy and cute), and custom stationary (if they like to live dangerously).

A Simple Favor: A cocktail shaker, fancy bitters, a really good mystery novel.

Widows: Tickets to go see Widows again because it’s amazing and is probably even more amazing a second time.

Kris’s Recommended Reading

Wildlife or Widows: The H-Spot: The Feminist Pursuit of Happiness

As I say in my Amazon review, this is the best applied ethics text I was never assigned. In fairness to my professors, attorney-turned-journalist Jill Filipovic hadn’t written it yet when I was a philosophy student. Filipovic is also not a philosopher. But she is a brilliant writer and a rigorous thinker, and The H-Spot is fundamentally and explicitly an Aristotelian ethical project. That is to say, it takes the starting position that political organization should be aimed at the goal of human flourishing (as opposed to, say, economic growth). From there Filipovic builds a case, or maybe it's better to say several cases, for specific ways in which American policy fails women and disproportionately women of color in this aim, and concrete ways in which it could address this failure. She does so largely through first-hand accounts of several women across America, in a wide range of socioeconomic circumstances. Although the institutions and less formal systems in play are complicated, the questions at the heart of all this are simple: What do women want? What do women need?

Filipovic asks these questions without pre-judgment, and without assuming that any answers are too unrealistic to consider. Not that anyone she talks to asks for anything "unrealistic." Partly this is because they often speak from too much experience for the unrealistic to occur to them as something they deserve to ask for, but also, the idea that woman-friendly policy is unrealistic is a Bad Take to begin with. Filipovic doesn't need to be pie-in-the-sky utopian to show how things could be much better for women (and by extension, it should but still doesn't go without saying, for everyone).

I left academic philosophy over five years ago, but I really think each chapter (built around topics like friendship, sex, parenting, and food) is brimming with potential paper topics for grad and undergrad students of ethics and/or political philosophy. Whether you’re philosophically inclined or not, if you think “women should be happy” and “the point of civilization is to make happiness easier for everyone” are uncontroversial claims, The H-Spot is the book for you -- and for your friends who loved the several underestimated women of Widows, or Carey Mulligan’s captivating portrayal in Wildlife of a woman doing the best she could within the restrictions of her era.

Black Panther: A Nation Under Our Feet

Though it helps to have some familiarity with the Avengers storylines that led up to Ta-Nehisi motherfucking Coates’s first year on the Black Panther comic -- as well as with the excellent opening arc of Matt Fraction’s Invincible Iron Man -- here’s all that even a new comics reader really needs to know before jumping into Nation: King T’Challa, the Black Panther, was recently unable to prevent several consecutive disasters in Wakanda. Both as a cause and as a result of these disasters, T’Challa worked with the so-called “Illuminati” (Tony Stark, Reed Richards, Stephen Strange, and other intellectual and strategic heavyweights) to prevent the end of the multiverse itself. That crisis averted, T’Challa has returned to Wakanda to resume his royal duties.

Coates takes as a starting premise that Wakanda, the most advanced nation on earth, would only still have a hereditary monarchy if the monarch was uniquely suited as a protector of the people. In the wake of the Panther’s failures in this regard, Nation opens with a rebellion against T’Challa’s rule on two fronts: domestic terrorists with an unknown agenda on one hand, and on the other, former officers of the Dora Milaje (the all-female royal bodyguard corps beloved by fans of the movie) rallying Wakandan women who have suffered great injustices unaddressed by the crown. The leaders of the latter, lovers Ayo and Aneka, are nominally antagonists to T’Challa, but to the reader they’re parallel protagonists. You root for both T’Challa and the Dora Milaje, even though their agendas are in tension, not unlike the way one might have rooted for both Tyrion Lannister and Robb Stark in early Game of Thrones. (Shuri’s around too, though she’s quite unlike her movie counterpart.)

When he’s not fighting or investigating, T’Challa does a lot of soul-searching and debating about his responsibilities as king, the ways it conflicts with his career as a globetrotting superhero, and whether and how the government of Wakanda must evolve. Though Wakanda is too small to be considered a superpower, the domestic terror angle, an interrogation of historical injustice, and the struggle between moral idealism and political reality make Wakanda a proxy in some important ways for modern America. (You may have noticed that Ryan Coogler did this too.) Coates’s meditation on leadership and political power made A Nation Under Our Feet not only a great superhero comic but -- this is not an exaggeration or a joke -- my favorite political writing of 2016.

Nation is illustrated mostly by Brian Stelfreeze and Chris Sprouse, with colors by Laura Martin; some of Stelfreeze’s designs clearly influenced the movie.

Thoroughbreds: Sweetpea

When a clever, mean-spirited would-be journalist with airhead friends learns that her boyfriend is cheating on her, old traumas bubble to the surface and she becomes a serial killer who targets sex offenders. Darkly, often cruelly hilarious, Sweetpea is what you’d get if American Psycho was set in southwestern England and for some reason starred Amy from Gone Girl. Protagonist Rhiannon is a self-described inhabitant of an Island of Unfinished Sentences, de facto Chief Listener of her “friend” circle, and a maker of lists. Lists of the things her friends talk about (babies, boyfriends, IKEA), signs she’d like to put up at work (please close doors quietly, please do not wear Crocs to work), and oh, the people she wants to kill. Like her boyfriend, at the moment. Or ISIS, when news coverage of a terror attack pre-empts her beloved MasterChef.

Author C.J. Skuse smartly chooses not to have Rhiannon wallow in her traumatic past as many superheroes do. We get glimpses for context, but Rhiannon is committed to moving forward, to escaping her demons rather than being defined by them. It matters that she wants to get better, even if she also hates that she’s bought into society’s definition of “better.” (#relatable)

It’s worth noting that Sweetpea leans seemingly uncritically into a lot of dated gender tropes, in Rhiannon’s assessments of the women around her. (Body positive she is not.) Then again, she’s an unreliable narrator -- one of the best demonstrations of this is a scene in which she’s convinced of her ability to fool the world into believing she’s normal, then overhears her dipshit co-workers talk about how unsettling she is -- so arguably we’re supposed to laugh at how terrible she is without necessarily agreeing with her. This is, I think, a perfectly legitimate approach to a protagonist, even if some find it unfashionable.

The book is not quite as thematically rich as it first appears, at least on the topic of sexual violence; it indulges a “stranger danger” picture of rape that doesn’t feel entirely contemporary. (For a more nuanced treatment of rape culture, see the sadly short-lived but wildly entertaining vigilante dramedy Sweet/Vicious.) But as a portrait of a vibrant, layered, genuinely Nasty-and-you-kinda-love-her-for-it woman -- given Oscar-caliber-portrayal-worthy life by Skuse’s wickedly sharp voice -- Sweetpea is too fun to pass up.

Upgrade or Infinity War: The Wild Storm

Castlevania showrunner Warren Ellis helped redefine superhero comics with 1999’s The Authority, which at DC’s request he's given a Gritty Reboot (along with the WildCATS, whom some of us remember from this extremely 90s cartoon) in The Wild Storm. Ellis has always been interested in The Future, both its potential wondrousness and its probable horror. Fans of Upgrade’s refreshingly unsanitized (and unsanitary) take on human enhancement through body modification will find much to like in Ellis’s spin on the trope of second-skin powered armor. (He semi-famously wrote Extremis, one of the comic arcs that inspired Iron Man 3.)

art by Jon Davis Hunt, from The Wild Storm #1

Angela Spica, a reimagining of Ellis’s old Authority character The Engineer, is a cybernetics expert who stumbles onto a sort of shadow government conspiracy related to her employer, and goes on the run with the armor she’s designed for them. (When not deployed, the armor is stored inside her body.) Angela is quickly targeted by multiple covert organizations, one of which rescues (?) her and brings her in on a secret history of technological arms races and contact with extraterrestrials. The Wild Storm is full of big action and bigger ideas, and for smart, generally curious superhero movie fans who find the decades-long continuities of the DC and Marvel universes intimidating, it’s a great entry -- with a blessedly planned ending -- into sci-fi-comics.

Happy holidays, and have fun gift shopping!

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faejilly · 6 years

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i am for you

this is entirely @janoda‘s fault. her and her tag essays. ANYWAYS. I have a weakness for epistolary fic, and also Alec & Magnus being adorkable, so here. Have some self-indulgent fluff. Part 1/? (AO3) (series tag)

One misdirected email leads to bonding over bookstores & bad fiction, sleep-deprivation, the introduction of the Lightwood-Garroway Family Hedge, and Magnus and Alec falling in love.

From: [email protected] [M. Bane] To: [email protected] [R. Fell] subj: forgive me

Hello, you old stick in the mud.

Yes that is a perfectly acceptable way to open a letter, do shush.

And yes, email counts as a letter, just because you study ancient dead people more than living ones does not mean you should not admit to the existence of modern innovation.

Also yes, obviously, I have bad news, you know me so well, however have we borne each other's company for so long?

Especially when you have such an appalling lack of sense as to allow me to borrow your copy of Marlowe's treatise on the White Book.

Oops?

It will not be wending its way back to you along with the references on the Grey and the Red. I know, it's not the same when it's not a whole set, I will make it up to you.

Somehow.

I promise.

And you know I keep my word.

From: [email protected] [Alec L.] To: [email protected] [M. Bane] subj: this is awkward

I want to apologize. I'm not whoever it was you were trying to write to, but there are way too many people I know who would start an email with a "forgive me" so I was about half-way through before I realized you weren't actually one of them.

So, uh. Sorry? I mean. Sorry, really, and you should probably double check your friend's email.

But. Not to be too creepy or intrusive, barging in on someone's accidentally public conversation, but I know a bookstore on Isaacs Dr, behind the campus liquor store, (the one with the red roof, not the one with the blue roof), that had a copy of the book you mentioned. If you wanted to find a replacement. It's called Fray & Garroway, and if you tell them it's for Alec they'll give you a 10% discount.

Assuming you're even in Alicante, which may be a bit of a jump, but you did send your note via a UIA email address.

From: [email protected] [M. Bane] To: [email protected] [Alec L] subj: Charming, not awkward

I feel, my darling Alec, (if I may?), that it must have been Providence that sent my email astray. Do you believe in fate? I think I do, as of today.

There cannot be many people in Alicante who have even heard of Marlowe's delightfully obscure infatuation with the occult, much less know where to find a copy of a reprint of one of his books. Or be familiar enough to know a discount on that price-tag is not a trivial thing.

Not that I wouldn't have paid full price to redeem myself in my long-suffering (as he says) compatriot's eyes, but it is rather delightful to know that I did not have to, purely thanks to the kindness of a stranger.

Thank you.

You didn't have to reply at all, much less go out of your way to offer assistance. It's unusual to bump into such a giving soul these days. You have quite restored my faith in humanity.

-- M

From: [email protected] [Alec L.] To: [email protected] [M. Bane] subj: you do have a way with words, don't you

M, is it? Are we embarking on a mystery correspondence? I feel I may have fallen into a bad spy movie, or perhaps a pulp detective novel. (I am certainly no 007 to have fallen into a good spy movie, after all.)

Do you have contacts scattered across Idris running secret errands for you? Clandestine meetings and secret back-alley exchanges?

(Please don't tell me if you don't, imagining a secret society dealing in strange matters of the occult is the most interesting thing to have happened to me all week, and the only interesting thing in at least a month that wasn't bordering on a disaster, and is quite probably the only thing that's going to keep me awake for the next two hours of my shift.)

You're welcome, but you don't have to thank me. I just answered an email. Definitely not worth the weight of the entire human race settling in-between us.

From: [email protected] [M. Bane] To: [email protected] [Alec L] subj: but your words were so much more interesting than mine

There are a myriad number of people whose job it is to reply to my emails and yet they never manage it. You are exceptional, and I refuse to let you avoid my gratitude. I am thanking you, and you are just going to have to accept that that is the state of things.

Also I may have laughed out loud and scared my best friend when I read your email, so now you have to keep responding so I can prove you're a real person and we're having a real conversation and she doesn't think I'm crazy.

Well. Crazier than usual.

You are a real person aren't you? Who likes spy movies and old pulp paperbacks? (Can you recommend some of those detective stories? I really loved your bookstore, it was very welcoming. Sunlit and dusty and well-organized shelves but piles in the corners just waiting to be explored and the most gorgeous tiny pieces of artwork hiding in all the small bits of wall where shelves wouldn't fit. Quite my new favorite place, I think I shall be back, especially if I have a shopping list as an excuse?)

Don't answer that real person question, I don't want to know if it's a no, anymore than you want to know that there are no covert societies, encoded messages, or secret passages anywhere in my life.

Though wait, of course you must be real, that lovely young redhead at the bookstore was positively delighted at the idea that Alec sent me, her whole face lit up with a smile.

Are you sure you're not already living the life of a secret agent? I feel I may have unwittingly been involved in some of your clandestine courier work already.

Though I suppose secret agents do not generally have shift work.

From: [email protected] [Alec L.] To: [email protected] [M. Bane] subj: not nearly as interesting as you are attach: ruleswip.docx attach: pulpfiction.docx

Oh hell, Clary was working? Were there charcoal stains on her fingers and a sketchbook on the counter? Was it an evil smile?

It was, wasn't it. I'm doomed, I'm going to have to avoid family dinner for at least a month.

I could distract her with your compliments, perhaps? Most of the artwork is hers. Some of it was her mother's. Either way she actually almost looks shy whenever someone says something nice about it.

Or I could ask her all about you.

I feel like that would be uncalled for, but I'm not sure why. Are we playing a game? Are there rules? Would that be cheating?

Unless you asked her about me, in which case it would be entirely fair, and also that was definitely an evil smile and oh my gosh I'm rambling in an email. I'm typing myself rambling, clearly the sleep-deprivation has reached epic proportions, I am so sorry.

And yet I'm going to send this as is, because I think perhaps that might be one of the rules.

Maybe I should make a list? Would that be weird? This entire email is weird, have I apologized already?

See attached: two lists. Feel free to delete them. Or edit and send them back. I feel I have no idea what I'm doing anymore, I may need some direction.

That's wow. I'm kind of pushy tonight, sorry.

This is what happens when you work second shift at the student support center. Which is usually about as difficult as did you try turning your laptop off and on again and let me unjam the printer with the occasional yes I do know how to format a bibliography, that's why I'm here. I am definitely as far from a secret agent man as it is humanly possible to be, and my brain has mostly leaked out my ears from boredom by the time I'm done.

(That was an attractive description, wasn't it. I'm sorry.)

But second shift was quiet enough when I was an undergrad I could manage to do extra studying, and now they're stuck with me, I guess. Or I'm stuck with them? I'm not entirely sure anymore. At least this is the last year.

But now I'm wondering, if you're not part of some secret coven of the occult, why The Book of the White?

Which is assuredly none of my business, feel free to ignore me.

If you've made it this far and still respond, I think I might start believing in miracles.

From: [email protected] [M. Bane] To: [email protected] [Alec L] subj: still with the incredibly charming attach: ruleswip2.docx attach: pulpscripts.docx

I don't believe anyone has ever compared me to a miracle before, I am quite over-wrought.

That sentence came out even more melodramatically than I intended, but that does not mean it isn't sincere. We haven't met, but I find I am quite pleased to think I have earned your good opinion, and your curiosity.

I have indeed taken a look at your rules, and marked it up with my virtual purple pen. (Not red, because it did not need correction so much as expansion. You have a very economical way with words once you switch to informational.) Also I counter your collection of ridiculously titled fiction (all of which I am looking forward to devouring) with some ridiculously styled plays. We did start this with Marlowe, after all.

I feel like it will be a great disappointment to tell you that I am doing regular boring class-related research; I do not think that crosses the bonds of this strange pseudo-anonymity we have, as you recognized the UIA email address, and thus know what an 05 extension means. (Though I still have no idea how my first email got routed to you. I am distressingly good at clicking the wrong thing, but that is a bit dramatic even for me. The servers must have had an aneurysm or something, the original recipient's an 08, on top of the entirely different set of initials.)

And no, I did not ask the redhead anything about you, I was oddly terrified that somehow she'd learn my entire life-story in the process. There was a very steely glint in her eyes when she rung me up.

But family dinner! I am entirely intrigued. Are you also a redhead, my mysterious benefactor? Cousin, brother, uncle?

I typed boyfriend in that list and erased it and typed it about three more times and then I looked up at our rules and realized you're right. I'm not sure if we've reached a coherent set of directions yet, but I don't wish to cheat either. I typed it, it stays.

From: [email protected] [Alec L.] To: [email protected] [M. Bane] subj: I may start blushing at any moment attach: ruleswip3.docx attach: bmovietime.docx

Oh fuck no, definitely not her boyfriend, I am very gay and also she's kind of my sister?

And wow, that's a way to come out to one's secret pen pal. I really have to stop responding to your emails at 2 in the morning, I am always vaguely horrified when I remember what I said the next day, and this is clearly not going to be the exception.

Though, since you keep responding anyways, clearly I should only respond at 2 in the morning? I may have to consider that one.

And no again, I am not a redhead, and the family dinner is a little complicated, (see the kind-of above) but I suppose I would be her step-brother once removed? That sounds entirely implausible doesn't it, it's quite obvious I just made that up.

Her step-dad married my mom.

That was much less complicated than I thought it was going to be, hmm. Clearly I have been over-thinking the family history every other time someone asked. Perhaps it's a lifetime of being over-sensitive. One of my brothers is adopted and we got a lot of oh dear you look nothing alike comments when we were little.

But now I realize how very one-sided our conversation has become, you know my name and that I have a family hedge rather than a tree, that you can find some of us at a bookstore, and that I have a rainbow flag sitting in the cup of pens and highlighters on my desk.

Also that I am much more familiar with b-movies than b-plays, so I feel I must switch media in our disaster lists of duelling recommendations yet again. I did manage to find that set by Bernhardt to read, however, and they were joyfully terrible, I hope someday I can see them on stage.

My sister is staring at me in shock from across town, I always rolled my eyes when she was in her musical theatre stage in middle school. (Different sister, not the redhead.)

Then again I rolled my eyes at everything at that point, it's difficult being nice when you're so far in the closet you can't even see the door. And look at me, over-sharing again. I don't.

This isn't something I do? But since that email you sent back thanking me, I have felt like I've known you forever, and can tell you anything. Is it because I don't have a face to put to the words, so I'm not worrying about what I look like to you? Is it just that such sincere and honest gratitude isn't something I've really seen before? Maybe you don't think people can just help just because, but I'm not sure I've ever seen someone just say thank you without a single caveat. You answered me with such grace, it made my heart ache.

I don't know. And here I am getting all philosophical, the joys of 2am confessions. I can't say I'm sorry though, because that wouldn't be true.

But I know next to nothing about you. And you did just compliment my curiosity, it's in the email chain, I could copy-paste it and prove my point, if I had to. (Never leave a paper trail if you don't want it to be used against you.)

Though I can make an educated guess, at the very least, that your long-suffering compatriot is Professor Fell? I don't know why I didn't think of it earlier, I knew he had a bunch of Marlowe in his collection. And his old email got routed to mine over the summer when I did a work-study with him and he didn't want to deal with any more of Dean Aldertree's questions.

Everyone else switched to his new extension when he got tenure. Except you. Providence does seem to be the answer here. I'm glad.

From: [email protected] [M. Bane] To: [email protected] [Alec L] subj: the very thought makes me breathless attach: ruleswip4.docx attach: ChairmanMeowFavorites.docx

I am honored you trusted me, Alec. Is that short for Alexander, perhaps? Would you mind if I called you that? It seems to fit the poetic nature of this correspondence.

Ragnor and I have been friends for a very long time, even before we both ended up on opposite ends of campus. It is terribly tempting to go ask him for a description of his interns last summer, except for the fact that I'd be lucky if he remembered the color of your hair. He could probably recognize your writing style within three words, but asking someone else is not how this goes, is it?

You are giving me clandestine operation vibes again, darling. Paper trails. Who says things like that? Spies. In delightfully bad movies.

Oh, oh! Do you have a tuxedo with exploding cufflinks? I have always wanted to see such a thing.

And yes, I am avoiding your questions, and no, I am not entirely sure why.

Or I am, and it's vaguely embarrassing. I think I am afraid that as soon as you know my real name this will stop being some unexpected fairy tale I have landed in, and something will go wrong, and I'll never get another email from you, and that thought is more upsetting than it has any right to be. I trust you too, dramatically, inexplicably, and completely.

I have never wanted to delete anything as much as I want to delete that paragraph. But you sent me all your sincere 2am ramblings, so I must do the same.

You make me brave, my mysterious Alexander.

Our rules list is not so much rules as elaborate flirtation at this point, wouldn't you say? And we've made our way through books and plays and movies, so now have a list of the music I never admit to people I listen to when I'm home alone and dancing for the cat.

My name is Magnus, and I have no real family to speak of, so I am not at all sure what one means by a hedge but I must admit that I want to find out.

And also that I especially wish to see a tuxedo on you, which I am sure is entirely too forward of me and I am quite sure I have just scared you away and I have never been so nervous about clicking that damn send icon in my life.

From: [email protected] [Alec L.] To: [email protected] [M. Bane] subj: forget breathless, I think I've forgotten how to breathe entirely attach: music.docx

I don't think I have successfully flirted with anyone before in my entire life. I feel suspiciously like I might be having an attack of the vapors like the characters from an old romance novel.

Don't tell my sister I read old romance novels. Or that there are showtunes on my music list. She will never let me hear the end of it. And look at me, assuming you want to meet my sister. Did I mention breathing is not really a thing at the moment?

Your cat's name is Chairman Meow? That is the second-best thing I've heard in my life.

First is that this unexpected correspondence means as much to you as it does to me. Or maybe first is the idea of you calling me Alexander. No one does, never have, though I've had to repeatedly correct a few teachers over the years to keep it that way, but I like the idea of it coming from you. I like that very much.

To answer your sort-of question before I get to my actual question, because I am nervous enough I have started this email about five times already, law students talk about paper trails. Especially in their last year when they're trying desperately not to think too much about everything that could go wrong before graduation and how easy it is to fail the Bar.

And here we go. If you were brave I cannot be any less, can I?

It's not a tuxedo, but if you do want to meet the hedge (and me, hopefully more so) Clary's best friend Simon is a musician, and he has a gig this weekend at The Hunter's Moon, if you would like to come and find out...

I don't know, find out if this is a real off the computer screen as it is inside it, somewhere public where it'll be easy enough to make a strategic retreat if necessary.

Or, I think we're past easy retreats, but at least it'll be possible.

I hope we don't have to.

It will be an awful lot of the hedge though, if that's too much? We could try coffee or something first.

I mean, there's my brother and sister and step-sister and Simon and his girlfriend (who also works at the bookstore, we're a tangled disaster) and sometimes my friend Lydia because if I don't drag her out occasionally she's even more of a workaholic than I am. And it would be even worse if our cousin Aline was here, but she's visiting her girlfriend abroad.

They frequently are too much. Because they will, assuredly, every single one of them, make a comment on me inviting someone. Except maybe Lydia. She'll give you a look though. She's very good at those. So. Just. A warning? Hell, that paragraph looks terrifying and I know all of them already. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore, and if I had to talk instead of type I'm pretty sure I'd be stuttering. I kind of am, even here, aren't I?

I am 102% convinced I have just scared you away, but it's better to warn you than drop you in the middle of that. No one deserves that, and especially not someone I am very much looking forward to meeting.

And I really better hit send now or I'm going to give myself a heart-attack.

From: [email protected] [M. Bane] To: [email protected] [Alec L] subj: breathing is overrated

I have, my entire life, always been the one who is too much for someone else. I think it only fair, at our first acquaintance, that you have the opportunity to be too much as well. I would be delighted to dive into the deep-end of whatever this is and start out by meeting your family. We've done everything else out of order, haven't we?

With the caveat that perhaps we meet outside rather than in the middle of your hedge? (Do they know you call them that? Can I call them that? That sounds delightful.) Just in case, as you said.

And to share note by note, and also so you can answer your delightful hedge's presumably nosy questions about who the dashing man you've invited along even is, I am finishing up the second year of my very first real professor job in the drama department.

Not that that is likely to be a surprise, considering Marlowe and Bernhardt.

Also the eyeliner tends to add to that conclusion for most people who have met me in person. I am so very much looking forward to adding you to that list. (Also I'm terrified. Is it alright to be terrified? Should I admit that? Probably not. Too late now!) What's your favorite color, Alexander? I think I shall need the fortitude of getting my nails done before I arrive.

From: [email protected] [Alec L.] To: [email protected] [M. Bane] subj: but I need to survive until Saturday

There's a bus-stop around the corner, on 5th? We can meet there at 8 on Saturday, and then decide if you're willing to come inside with me or not. (I have not ever called the family a hedge before I attempted to explain them to you, and most definitely not to their faces. I highly encourage you to do so, so that I can watch. Is that mean? That might be a little mean of me, I do apologize. Sort of.)

I don't think anyone's asked me my favorite color since I outgrew my moody teenage years and the only possible answer was black, with perhaps the occasional detour into grey. Would it be terribly out of line of me to admit that meeting you makes me think of the sunrise, and thus I am, at the moment, most especially fond of pink and gold?

From: [email protected] [M. Bane] To: [email protected] [Alec L] subj: if you keep saying things like that, I'm not going to survive either

I never knew heart-attacks were contagious, but oh I think you shared yours with me with that last line. You are painfully romantic, Alexander, I am in awe.

But now I desperately need a change of conversational topic or I will fidget myself into a disaster by Saturday night, that's two whole days.

Why law school, if I may be both bold and boring and ask the obvious and impertinent?

I shall answer your return question, why the theatre? before you even have to ask. Or the short version, anyways. It gave me a world better than the one I was living in when I was young, and then it was just so very pretty that I never wanted to leave. Especially when I realized how many other people need that escape as well, and I could help them find it.

That got a bit more serious than I intended. That does keep happening to me, as soon as I start a message to you. I have never failed so entirely at being a light and sparkling and charming personality before. You're remarkable.

From: [email protected] [Alec L.] To: [email protected] [M. Bane] subj: you have rendered me almost entirely speechless

I am not at all remarkable but the fact that you think so has kept me smiling all day. At least three people asked if I was all right, Lydia asked what his name is, whoever he is, (I have not told her yet, but I did re-invite her to Simon's gig, and I think she's definitely decided to come now), and I didn't even mind having to fix the same printer error four times tonight.

And you are easily the most captivating person I have ever (almost?) met.

Most of the time when people ask why law school it's easy enough to fob them off with a shrug, to mention that my father's a lawyer and my mother's a forensic accountant so I sort of just grew into it. Lightwood family tradition. Or something.

But my father's really the reason I almost didn't go to law school at all, and I don't want to give you the wrong impression. It's also a bit of a long story and may quite well ruin the conversation and if I scared you off now I think I might not recover any time soon.

Which is my way of saying hello there terror, nice you're visiting me, too.

I suppose the short version would be that, after Jace (the adopted brother) and my parents' truly disastrous divorce, I'd seen too many cases of terrible situations where no one had a real advocate. So I'm going into family law.

Hopefully. Assuming I don't have a panic attack and fail the Bar. Which is honestly what every other law student I know thinks is going to happen and clearly we can't all be that disastrous, but it's hard to keep that in mind some days.

Most days.

I can tell you the long story, if you'd like, but I have to admit I rather desperately want to kiss you before I say something too depressing and you no longer want to kiss me back. (And don't think I didn't notice you doing the exact same thing with your long story.)

And the 2am inability to think before I type is back. I did not miss you.

I am going to hit send now before I chicken out or die of mortification.

From: [email protected] [M. Bane] To: [email protected] [Alec L] subj: asdfjklgh (how's that for speechless?)

I may have just lost a half-an-hour staring blankly at my screen imagining Alexander kisses so. Priorites agreed upon! Until tonight it is.

#malec #malec fic #shadowhunters #alec lightwood #magnus bane #epistolary #modern email epistolary even #jilly writes #my sh fic #modern au #college au #i am for you

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