#i am eating this art. like actually. crunch crunch

[plushiehamuko]

seeing you so enthusiastic about p3 has made me genuinely want to try getting into the series again so i just wanted to say thank you :]

WAH THANK YOU THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL… THE MITSUHAMS…

[mrchiipchrome]

The Museum

W.C. - 5.2 k

this is so the 'pookie looks absolutely fire' tiktok couple coded

thank you to the anon that requested this, much love to you:)

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The skittles made a crunching sound as your molars bit down on them, it was an every day snack for you, tasting the rainbow more often than not. It was a relatively new habit, but when your ex had broken up with you, you promised yourself to become a better person.

It obviously had to be you who had something wrong with them, otherwise she wouldn’t have fallen in love with someone else and out of love with you. Quitting smoking was the first thing on your agenda, hence the skittles.

The next thing was to get away from the small southern town in Texas, move so far away that you left the country entirely. The only thing you’d taken with you on the plane was a carryon with 2 changes of clothes, your cowboy hat and a dream of bettering your life.

The third thing you bettered was your health, going out for a run every morning through the streets of London, going to the gym after work, doing push-ups before bed. It worked wonders, the tips you got from the ladies at the bar where you worked were simply incredible.

The fourth thing you wanted to improve was your cultural knowledge, the exact reason why you were standing in the middle of a museum, old renaissance paintings in every corner of the large room. It was something you appreciated, none of that modern bullshit where people just taped a banana to a canvas and called it art, it was back from when people actually painted.

Your hand slipped down your body into your jacket pocket, fetching another piece of candy, although a voice speaking up from your right startled you nearly enough for you to drop it back into the bag.

“You’re not supposed to eat in museums, you know?” The woman had a foreign dialect, just like you. You guessed it was from somewhere in the middle of Europe, maybe Germany or any of the neighboring countries.

“It’s not a problem if you don’t tell on me, no one has to know.” She seems just as startled by your accent as you were by her speaking to you, her cheeks dusted with a light pink at the wink you sent her.

“What are you going to do if I tell them? Take me back to your ranch on your horse?” The mystery woman teases, obviously making fun of the accent and the cowboy hat sitting perched on your head. In response you laugh under your breath, shaking your head in amusement.

“I’m afraid that I left the ranch back in Texas, Miss. All I have here is a small one bedroom apartment.” She looks up at you through the side of her eye, her half smile distracting you more than you’d like to admit. Her brows knit together when she notices a security guard eying the two of you curiously and her elbow digs into your ribs when you once again reach for the skittles in your pocket.

“Nice hat, my friend would be jealous.” You nod in agreement, plucking the stetson off your head and turning it around in your hand. In a brief moment of stupidity, you place the cowboy hat on the pretty stranger’s head, it falling down the front of her face to cover her eyes. It’s frankly adorable, the way she brings her hand up to push it back to the crown of her head.

The reassuring smile on her face tells you that she approves of your action, a relief to your entire being. She takes her phone out of her back pocket, turning it on and snapping a picture of you both, the cowboy hat still perched on top of her head.

In response, you snap a picture of her alone, the woman posing like a cowboy would for you. She was going to be the wallpaper of your phone for a while, even though you didn’t even know her name.

“So, do you have a name or am I just going to have to call you mine?” The cheesy pickup line just slips out, not at all consciously, it was like instinct took over, a pretty girl was to be flirted with.

“I wouldn’t mind being called yours, but for now you can call me Lia.” The woman doesn’t seem uncomfortable by your advances, in fact she embraces them, teasing smile telling you that she found it amusing how worried you got over a simple pickup line.

“Lia, a beautiful name for an even more gorgeous girl.” She gains her pink tint back, the compliment likely the cause of her blush. It wasn’t like she never got complimented, it was just the attractive zing your accent put over the words that made them feel more sincere.

“And how about you? A name attached to that pretty face?” Now it was your turn to blush at the other woman’s words, her lips splitting into a full toothed smile.

“Y/n. Y/n Y/l/n.” You imitate Bond to introduce yourself, sticking your hand out for her to take, a firm handshake and the tip of an imaginary hat letting her know who exactly it is you are. 

“Good to know my future last name.” She winks at you and the blush that’s already covering your face deepens significantly. The insinuation that you were to marry the girl beside you too much for your poor little heart to take. 

She starts to walk away from you and towards another section of the room, looking back over her shoulder when she realizes that you weren’t right beside her, walking. Waving her hand in a “come here” motion, you quickly catch up with the older woman. 

“So, why skittles? Is there not any other sweet you’d rather have?” She asks as you match her slow rhythm of steps, your hands shoved in the pockets of your coat with your arms forming loops. Lia threads one of her arms through yours, leaning her head on your shoulder, standing still all of a sudden to look at a painting. It didn’t feel like you’d just met, like you’d just introduced yourselves to one another, it felt like you’d known each other for decades, easily slipping into being comfortable with each other.

You gaze at her as she looks at the painting, making sure to map out all her gorgeous features and commit them to memory. She was like a breath of fresh air in a world of polluted oxygen.

“First of all it’s called candy, not sweets, candy. Secondly, they’re amazing for when you want to stop smoking.” Her cheek smushes against your shoulder as she turns her head to look up at you, her eyebrows scrunched together adorably.

“You were a smoker?” You feel the strong urge to place a peck atop her lips, soft and warm against your own. But in the end you resist, you’d only just met the woman for god’s sake, you don’t want to make her uncomfortable. Her eyes hold so many emotions that you just can’t read.

“Yeah, only for about a year. My ex stressed me out so much that I felt it was the easiest way to deal with it. But when she broke up with me, I decided to get my life back together, moved here, got a job at a bar and that’s it. That’s why I’m here.” Lia listens intensively at the story you’re telling her, the way she looks at you suggests that she’s hanging off your every last syllable.

“So no more smoking at all for you?” You puff your chest up, proudly displaying the grin on your face and your now discolored tongue. Lia looks on in amusement at your actions, a grin that could light up an opera house on her face. 

“Nope, I’m never picking up a cigarette again.” The amusement turns into a sort of profound proud feeling, a feeling that she definitely shouldn’t be feeling for what is practically a stranger. A stranger that in the matter of a mere hour had worked their way into her heart and made themselves home.

“Good, I’m really happy for you.” The softened look on Lia’s face makes you blush, it was the way most people looked at their loved ones. You couldn’t help but imagine what it would feel like to be one of her loved ones, how it would feel to see her first thing in the morning, to gaze into her tentative eyes and try to read her like a book just because you know exactly how it is she acts, how she feels at that exact moment, what she thinks.

At your faraway look Lia nudges you in the ribs, giggling at the embarrassed expression that occupies your face. Her giggle could only be described as a ray of sunlight, lighting the glum room up in seconds, giving it a golden glow.

The older woman doesn’t miss the fondness in your gaze as you watch her laugh, your own lips splitting into a smile and soon after a loud belly laugh bubbles up in your chest, welling out of your mouth like water out a dam. 

Only moments later the both of you are doubled over in laughter, tears slipping down your cheeks and arms crossed over your stomachs. Some scattered guests give you two dirty looks, as if you were peasants in a house full of royals, but they are counter effective because it only makes you and Lia laugh harder.

The security guard from earlier approaches you both as you drop down to the floor with a loud thump, Lia bursting out into an entire new fit of laughter as you try to catch your breath.

“Y/n, I’ve already let you get away with a lot today but this is your last strike. Up you get, I’ll escort you and your lady companion to the exit.” He speaks through his thick mustache, his round beer gut bobbing up and down with every word like he needed every fat covered muscle of his stomach to get the words out.

Small giggles escape you both as Lia and you are led out of the building by a firm grip around both of your arms. You both watch in amusement as the fat man gets winded walking back up the stairs he just led you down, bending over for a brief second at the top before disappearing back behind the door.

“So, I take it you know the security guard then?” She sounds a little out of breath as she speaks to you, flyaways sticking out of her bun, your hand itches to reach up and smooth them out, undo her bun and run your fingers through her hair. But you don’t. 

“Yeah, he’s my regular. Comes in every day and buys a pint after work, a good friend of mine he is. He lets me get away with eatin’ in there every time I come.” You stand right in front of the brunette, hands again in your pockets as you smile at her tentatively. Her hand comes up to rub at your arm, and you feel as though you were going to pass out at any moment, the electric feeling of her ring covered fingers touching your arm overwhelming in a good way.

“Ah, a museum nepo baby then.” You can tell that she’s joking by the way her eyebrows raise all the way up to her hairline, and you imitate her by doing the same thing. Another fit of giggles ensues, Lia looking directly into your eyes, holding eye contact for a prolonged amount of time.

It makes you nervous, her somewhat challenging gaze locking on your face for a moment longer than necessary. When she grasps your hands in hers you finally look back at her, meeting her tender gaze with your own.

“I really enjoyed today, I was hoping we could do it again sometime.” The older woman looks at you sheepishly, nearly nervously. You’re mesmerized by her gorgeous simplicity, simple smile grazing her lips as you nod, a recognisable warmth behind the hug she gives you, the quick kiss she places on your cheek haphazardly before walking away, not looking back to see your rose tinted cheeks.

It’s only when Lia has disappeared far behind the horizon that you realize that you have no way to contact her AND that she essentially got away with your favorite cowboy hat. You aren’t as distraught about your hat as you are about not getting her number, it was a dumbass move from you.

You drag your feet all the way back to your apartment, not knowing that only moments after you left the museum, the girl of your dreams ran back all the way to get your number. And like you, she dragged her feet all the way back to her apartment, sulking and questioning her own intelligence.

Arriving at the bar that evening was strange, you felt almost empty without the girl you’d met earlier that day, no light brown cowboy hat perched atop your head nor a beaming smile. It was weird to everyone around you, you always had that damned hat on, but now it was a completely different one, black with a few white accents.

“What happened to you? It looks like someone ran over your dog.” Your co-worker and best friend Marla asks, placing her hand on your shoulder softly as if you were to break if she did it any harder. Shaking your head, your other friend and co-bartender Jason comes up to rub your back softly, the comfort from both of your best friends loosening you up significantly and soon after you spill everything that had happened up to that point.

They were both smirking at you when you finished up the story, knowing that despite only just meeting the woman in the museum you were already in love. 

“So do you have a picture of this goddess who’s making you drop to your knees?” Marla asks you, looking knowingly at your other best friend, who in return wiggles his eyebrows at her. You knew something would happen between them soon, and you’d rather be in hell than to watch it.

“Yeah, just give me a quick sec.” Pulling out your phone, you quickly unlock it and enter the photo app, not needing to scroll as the most recent photo was of her, Lia.

“Girl, are you fucking with me?” You look at the dark skinned girl in confusion, her eyes widening as she realizes that you had no fucking clue who it was you had met. She looks to her ‘boyfriend’ quickly in shock, who looks back at her equally appalled.

“Are you telling me you don’t recognise her?” The moment you shake your head is when the green eyed boy facepalms, not believing your stupidity. “Not at all? You haven’t seen her before.” When you once again shake your head the man sighs in disappointment, all faith in your intelligence practically gone.

“Girl. That is Lia Wälti, you know one of the best midfielders in the country? Arsenal Women’s player.” Now it’s your turn to look shocked, not at all knowing that she was a footballer. All the times you’d gone over to Marla’s house to watch footy, she’d probably been injured.

“Are you fucking kidding me? I didn’t even recognise her.” You lean against the door, sliding your body down until you’re sitting flush on the floor, head in your hands. Jason places his hand on your shoulder, smiling softly at you as he tries to reassure your overwhelmed mind.

“Hey, man, it was probably a good thing that you didn’t recognise her. She knows that you’re not some crazed fan trying to kill her, eh?” Marla’s hand plucks your cowboy hat from your head and runs her fingers through your hair, your shared shift started in mere minutes and yet they were there, comforting you.

“I’m okay, just a bit shell shocked.” They both laugh, pulling you up by your hands and bringing you into a group hug, patting your back before Marla gives you your hat back, smacking both you and Jason’s asses before disappearing out to her office.

“You know, we have an extra ticket to the Arsenal game on Sunday, so I mean if you want to see her again then you’re welcome to join.” You smile at the man’s kindness, telling him that you’ll definitely take him up on his offer. You didn’t have a shift at the bar either way that day so spending it looking for your … well you didn’t really know what it was she is to you. All you know is that you wanted to see her again.

Two days later you find yourself sitting as close to the pitch as you possibly can, waiting for the North London derby to start. 

Lia is in the starting lineup, looking determined as she waits for the whistle signaling the start of the game to sound. The shrill noise cuts through the air and the game starts.

It’s physical right from the start, loads of pushing and shoving coming from both sides, red and white. There are a few times where you nearly jump to your feet as Lia gets pushed but the fact that your friends sat there right beside you made you choose not to.

At half time the score is the same as the beginning, nil-nil. Despite not knowing much about football you join in on analyzing the first half of the game, mentioning all the times Lia went down. Marla makes some ‘innocent’ comments about how you’d much rather have her ‘go down’ somewhere else. The blush that overtakes your face is enough for you to blend in with your jersey, the red of the Arsenal shirt the same shade as your face.

When the second half starts, you’re basically on your feet all the way through, cheering loudly when Alessia scores, meaning that the gunners were up one-nil.

It’s particularly hilarious when Lia finally notices you, a pause in the game meaning that she had the time to look around at the fully packed Emirates Stadium. When those eyes you love to gaze into meet yours for the first time since Friday, her face split open in a smile, a smile reaching all the way up to her eyes.

It looks like she has to physically restrain herself so that she doesn’t run over to you, her body shaking slightly as she calmly inches her way towards you, the cheers of the fans around you becoming louder as the player comes closer. Lia tunes them all out though as she looks at you, the only thing cutting through her trance being the whistle signaling the freekick being awarded. 

Lia looks back towards you as she walks in the direction of the group of players and you wink at her, even though she’s far away it seems like she saw it, the deep tint of red dusting her face definitely more than exertion from the game. 

When the three loud whistles sound throughout the arena, it explodes in cheers as Arsenal manage to keep their one-nil lead and in doing so make London red again. But you don’t even acknowledge the win when there’s a speeding Lia Wälti heading straight in your direction.

She only starts to slow down as she reaches the barrier which separates the fans from the pitch and players, with you standing up behind it to watch her come closer and closer with every quick step she takes.

Lia throws her arms around your torso when she comes close enough, the way that she had been longing for your touch had been driving her crazy in the days since you first met. She also knew that it wasn’t smart to do it all out in the open, fans and professionals alike were probably going to know everything about you within a few days. You didn’t seem to mind though, content with having her in your arms again.

Pulling away from her, you quickly take her face in your hands, looking her over to see if her face was scratched up from all the times she’d met the ground in the game. 

“Shit, darling, I think you spent more time on the ground in this game than on your feet. You ought to be more careful.” Your southern drawl is especially thick when you speak to her, the worry you’d experienced the entire game bubbling to the surface.

“I’m perfectly fine, I think you’re forgetting that I do this for a living.” She smiles at you reassuringly and you calm down fully, her hand placed on your arm a sure factor of it. Lia’s head turns to your side, looking directly at your friends who both send her starstruck looks. 

“Hi, I’m Lia.” The footballer smiles in their direction and they both remain in their seats, completely unmoving. She looks back to you concerned and in response you just laugh, they were apparently not expecting her to actually greet them. “Are they okay?” 

“I think they’re just a bit starstruck.” Gesturing towards their gaping mouths, Marla quickly slaps your hand away from her face, biting at the air to show you that she wasn’t afraid to bite.

“Oh okay, well do you think they want anything signed? I can ask the team, or maybe if you want we can go meet them?” Lia sounds unsure of herself, apparently doubting that her first impression on your friends was good.

“I think that they’d love that sweetheart. But judging from all the looks we’re getting from that same team, I do think they want you back.” You glance towards the women gathered in a clung in the middle of the pitch, all of them staring at you and Lia interacting. She sighs at their slightly invasive culture, but alas there wasn’t anything that she could do about it. When you smile and wave at them, you’re thoroughly amused when every single one of them repeats your actions back to you, some in confusion and some in amusement.

“A guard is going to tell you to follow him, just do as he says and we’ll meet again soon.” By that point the stadium was almost empty, everyone wanting to go home and brag about their team’s win over the archrival. So as Lia walks away from you, you’re totally free to stare at her ass, only stopping when Marla slaps your arm harshly.

“Did that just happen?” Jason asks shakily, running his hand down his face in embarrassment.

“You’re damn right it did.” You laugh at their stupid expressions, their embarrassment clear on their faces. “Well look on the bright side, y’all are going to meet the team.” With that their embarrassment turned into excitement, meeting their favourite athletes quickly turning their mood around.

“Y/n Y/l/n? Come with me and take your friends with you.” Walking around the labyrinth of slinging hallways and narrow paths, you appear in front of the locker room in no time, the loud music escaping the door a clear indicator of the Gunners good match.

“Now just wait out here until they come out, they’ll probably be out in a few.” The guard tells you unbothered, not caring at all that he’s leaving people he doesn’t know outside of the locker room.

“Yes sir.” You speak up clearly, mock saluting him as he disappears down the hallway with a sigh.

“I can’t believe that you’re 28, you act like a 12 year old.” Marla tells you jokingly, leading to you pushing her away from you. In the span of a few seconds both you and Marla find yourselves on the floor, engaging in a wrestling match. It only gets broken up when the sound of the door opening echoes through the hallway, both you and your best friend quickly getting on your feet.

“Nah what’s going on here?” A very amused Irish accented voice escapes the player exiting the locker room, one Katie McCabe staring at you and Marla.

“It was her fault.” You point at Marla so as to gesture that it was her who started it, the woman vehemently denying it.

“So I’m guessing you’re Lia’s cowboy then?” Katie completely ignores the blame game currently going on in front of her as she talks to you. Blushing at being called Lia’s, you quickly start to stutter out an answer.

“I- uhm yeah, I think so?” Laughter coming from behind the Irish woman makes you glance in the direction of the sound. Seeing Leah Williamson of all people is not what you expect, a bit starstruck yourself.

“Of course it’s the cowboy you buffoon, who else would wear a cowboy hat in London? You have to tell me where you bought the one Lia brought home, I need a new one. Mylie-moo chewed mine to filth a couple days ago.” Leah throws her arm around your shoulder as if you’d known each other for years, the woman clearly having heard a thing or two about you.

“Oh well I’ll be sure to bring you one next time I go back to Texas, my buddy Carl, he’s 72 and he makes the most gorgeous hats you can imagine. Last time I visited him I made him an instagram page, I’ll send you the link if you want?” You speak enthusiastically with the England captain, her arm still resting around your shoulders casually. Both Marla and Jason are in a conversation with Katie and Lotte, who just got out of the locker room.

“Important question, so answer me truthfully now, do you like country music?” She looks at you skeptically, trying to deduce if you’re being truthful or not. The question itself makes you roll your eyes playfully, but alas it didn’t surprise you. It was widely known that Leah was quite the country fan.

“Ma’am I grew up in Texas, yeah I’m a country fan. I’d be disowned if I wasn’t.” Leah looks at you like you’re her hero, it was clear to you that she accepted you. The hinges of the door squeak as a few other players exit, namely Lia.

“Lia please let me steal her, she’s perfect.” Leah says jokingly, holding onto your arm softly like she was a little kid. Lia looks at her weirdly, but quickly catches on to the joke, walking over to the two of you.

“I know, that’s why I want to keep her.” Lia wraps her arms around your waist tightly, her newly washed hair curling up into adorable curls, head placed on your shoulder. 

“Sharing is caring.” Leah is on the verge of laughter as she talks, the statement a shocking one for sure. It was hilarious though so you also had to keep from laughing.

“I mean I wouldn’t mind-” Lia shoots you a mean glare at your half serious words, and even though it was like being glared at by an adorable kitten, Lia already had you wrapped around her finger. “Actually I’m taken so I don’t think that would work.” 

All it takes for you all to break character is a shouted ‘WHIPPED’ coming from one of the players watching the interaction like it was a soap opera, the three of you laughing like it was the last thing you’d do.

“Alright, anyone want a drink? Not to brag but I can make a mean cocktail.” The women all cheer as you ask them, everyone rushing out to get into their cars and get to the bar. Just as you’re about to follow them, someone takes hold of your collar, making it so that you can’t go. 

Lia looks back when you don’t follow her but you just wave her off, telling her to go on without you. Turning back, you’re met with all the ‘scariest’ Arsenal players, looking like they’re about to beat you up.

“Listen carefully now, because this will only be said once, if you hurt a hair on her head, do anything to hurt her emotionally, if you do anything wrong that makes her sad, we will not hesitate to take your knees.” It’s Katie that speaks, all the others just nodding intimidatingly, glaring at you. 

“I’m going to try my best to make her happy, I know that she deserves the world.” They let up the facade of intimidation at your words, patting your back and pushing you in the direction of the car park. The conversation as you all are walking out of the building is pleasant, when you arrive at the parking lot there are just a couple of cars left.

Both of your best friends had left you to carpool with one of the remaining players, Lia called dibs though the second she looked at you, so it was with her you went.

“They weren’t too scary with you right? I know how they can be.” Lia says over the soft music being played from the radio, some Tyler, the Creator song. You look at her face, she was in deep thought and absolutely adorable. 

“Nah, it’s like being threatened by a pair of teddy bears. Let’s just say that I’ve had worse shovel talks.” She giggles as you start to tell her about all the weird shovel talks you’d gotten back in Texas, everything from being threatened with Chinese water torture to being hung upside down from a tree for simply speaking to a girl that wasn’t her.

When the bar comes into sight you see that multiple people have parked their cars right in front of it, telling Lia to just park on the curb.

“Y’all are such dickheads.” You laugh, slapping both Marla and Jason’s heads hard, they left you stranded. 

“Well you’ve got a girlfriend now who can drive your broke ass.” Marla shoots back, rubbing her head in pain. You roll your eyes at her dramatic actions, the slap wasn’t that hard.

“One-nil to me then, at least I have someone.” The sibling like banter was normal between you two by now, she was your best friend after all.

“C’mon cowboy, let’s sit down for a little.” Lia’s hand rests on your stomach as you both sit down on the booth, the place to sit being suspiciously small, to the point in which Lia had to throw her legs over your lap to get enough space.

It was nice to sit and talk with the team, they were regular people just like anyone else and it made you glad to see them just relax after a match. The atmosphere was calm, so calm in fact that Lia managed to fall asleep on your shoulder, quiet snores escaping her mouth.

Only moments later you fall asleep too, after having fought sleep for as long as possible. Your head rests on top of Lia’s and the girls think it’s absolutely adorable, some of them taking pictures of you both to send to their group chat.

“I knew being friends with her would pay off.” Jason jokes, thinking naïvely that you were fully asleep, getting a few laughs from the girls in the room. They get startled though as you utter a quick;

“Hey!” In protest, everyone soon laughed at your dramatic reaction to his joke.

Who knew that going to the museum would result in you getting a date?

[turbulenthandholding]

👀 just wondering if you’re writing anything these days!

1. Hi, hello, thank you for the ask @anxietycroissant! ❤️

2. I am...or I am trying! I am about 16,000 words into what is probably going to be a pretty long fic. It's an unexpected pregnancy/speed-run-the-relationship Sydcarmy and I am happy to be writing it because it's what my brain wants to read but it alternately falls out of my head and gives me great angst. I had been pretty blocked for more than a week but 3000 words fell out of my head like nothing last night which was a nice surprise.

Excerpt (Syd and Carmy are at IKEA):

“Sammy, right? Weren't you Carmy's sous?”

Sydney looks up to see Claire standing before her. “Claire. Hi. It's Sydney, actually,” she says and rises. Claire's eyes fall to Syd’s abdomen. “And I'm his CDC now.”

“Oh, that's so cute!” Claire says, her eyes falling to Syd’s belly. “You finally got over your weird obsession with Carmy and moved on,” Claire says. “Congratulations!”

“Weird obsession?” Syd asks. She feels pinned again like she did the first night she met Claire during the reno, glared at for reasons Syd at least thinks she understands now. Jealousy, and this time, lingering anger at her breakup with Carmy, which Claire lobs at Sydney like a knife.

Syd struggles to respond. “Sorry...are you like here to look at a couch? Or like, eat some meatballs? Sorry.”

“How do you feel about a lingonberry juice box?” Carmy asks Syd as he returns, focused, unaware, unwrapping and inserting the straw as he moves to hand it to her. “Got some water too,” he says, finally engaging with the scene in front of him.

“Carm, hi,” Claire says, features pinching. Syd takes a sip from the straw.

“Uhh, hey, Claire,” Carmy returns. He slips his arm around Syd, possessive fingers digging into her hip. A united front.

“Just one…” Claire begins. “Did this, uh, overla…how far along are you?”

“Due at the end of February,” Syd says.

Claire calculates, glares at Carmy. “You didn't waste any time.”

Carmy shrugs.

“Well, this is just so fucking precious,” Claire says through clenched teeth. “I guess when you said you didn't have space for fun or enjoyment in your life, you really just meant you don't have space for me. Cool. Cool. That's just…I’ll see you around, Bear. Good luck with whatever.” She slings her bag over her shoulder and stalks off back towards the escalators.

“Uhh,” Syd says, before taking a last drink from her juice box. The lingonberry juice is good, a little tart cutting through the sweetness. The box scrunches and crunches in her hand and makes the sound that juice boxes do when they are finished. “Sorry, that was loud. And just like…sorry that, uh, this happened.”

(2.5 - I could probably use an alpha reader if any of my Sydcarmy mutuals wants to take a look and tell me if it's bad or that I'm crazy because it could very well be!)

3. I'm also working on a soul mark/soul scar Sydcarmy. It's probably about 3k words so far but I put it to the side because I realized I had a huge plot hole and haven't quite figured out how to come back from it yet.

Excerpt:

Sydney gets really good at applying foundation to her arms, pressing it in with setting powder to help keep it waterproof just in case. The number of tattoos gracing her arms has been growing exponentially over the last few months. There's a pyrex measuring cup holding the whole world, a couple of angels, a fish. S-O-U on the fingers of her hand. She's a senior in high school on track to graduate with honors and the body art would be a distraction, a mark against her. An indication that she's not serious enough to do anything other than make terrible decisions or jeopardize her future; a constant, tangible reminder that she doesn't have the grace about things like this than people whose skin is lighter than hers. She wishes she didn't care. But she does, so she covers them up every day in a routine that feels like it has become her religion. She wears button-down shirts with long sleeves secured at her wrists most days, even when the heat and humidity in Chicago are oppressive. Counts the seconds until she can go to the CIA where maybe the sight of Schrödinger’s tattoos (simultaneously hers and not hers) won't hold her back.

[art-that-fucks-you-up-tournament]

Our Copyright Problem Submissions

The two Maori artworks (New Zealand does not have a fair use/fair dealing clause for parody/satire, and while this MIGHT qualify as review/criticism, this is tumblr. I am not comfortable saying this is NOT satire):

Kohatu by Selwyn Muru at the Museum of New Zealand Te Papa Tongarewa in Wellington

This Land is Ours by Buck Nin at the Auckland Art Gallery.

The other Indigenous artwork that hit a stumbling block (Kent Monkman's website requested we fill out a form, and Mod Salix couldn't make it load, and other mods didn't find the time, so we erred on the side of caution instead):

mistikôsiwak (Wooden Boat People): Resurgence of the People by Kent Monkman on the artist's website, it is on display in the Metropolitan Museum of Art. commentary: (Art) history as I used to learn it was very whitewashed seeing this large painting harking back to the so called 'canon' but focusing on native view point, gives me life. (anonymous)

The three tumblr artists who did not get back to us! No reposting here!

The Watcher by seamlessoo We've actually been unable to refind this one after the submission for some reason!

Untitled by petersolarz commentary: The colours are so bold and crisp, it reminds me of toothpaste and i get the urge to eat it. Would it be soft, like toothpaste? Or crunchy, like hard candy? I want to eat it to find out, but since I can’t, I can only stare at it again and again as I try and figure the answer. It also feels like tubes of neon illuminating the night, and like a zap of electricity. It’s something about those colours being so bold that draws me in. I want to touch it. I want to crunch it. I want to squeeze it. I can’t think of many paintings that intrigue me so much and draw such a strong emotion. (thegirlsinthecity)

Internet Cat by hannahlockillustration commentary: Look. At. Those. Colours. It’s so bright and vibrant and full of joy. I want to 1) hug the cat, he looks very fluffy, and 2) jump into the screen and live in this vibrant world. It almost hurts my eyes, in the best possible way. I keep zooming in to look at all the little details. I want to burn this image into my eyelids. (thegirlsinthecity)

and one artist who respectfully declined to have their art entered!

grendel-menz

[gamerbearmira]

Porcelain skin

As the day wore on the hardened skin only spread further. they wouldn't be able to hide it much longer.

Mirabel didn't know what scared her more, what was happening won't stop or telling abulia. 

After another it was lunch and they were both getting hungry. 

Stopping Mirabel brought out the lunches she'd packed for both of them. Antonio finished eating quickly and started playing with his new animal friends that had come to join them. This made her happy it was a good distraction for him.

  For the next few minutes Mirabel just sat there eating watch Antonio run around till he fell

Antonio was able to catch himself, for the most part all except for his knee that slammed into the ground.

Mirabel shot up rushing over with some of her mama's food in hand.

Dropping down next to him Mirabel rapidly start asking questions Antonio are you ok, does it hurt, what happened 

The next words that Antonio spoke made her stomach drop

"Mira Mirabel i can't move my leg!" Fear was evident in his voice flipping antonio over and taking a look revealed that his knee was completely fine the reason why was obvious and much worse

The hard glass-like skin had grown to completely cover the joint making the leg unmoveable. 

Inside Mirabel was terrified but she didn't let it show that would only make Antonio more scared. 

With her support She got him on his feet problem was that with only one leg Antonio was forced to jump around well holding on to her kind like how people with crunch moved well at least that's what she'd read no one ever need crutches in the encanto

Lucky for theme a solution quickly protected itself parce Antonio new jaguar friend crochet down indicating for Antonio to get on his back 

Lifting Antonio up Mirabel succeed in getting him on parce back

Packing up there lunch Mirabel could only think of what she was going to do

quickly coming a decision she desired to tell abulala what was happening after dinner tonight 

If it was just herself she could handle what was going on but she wouldn't risk Antonio.

no matter what happened to her she would make sure Antonio was safe. 

Hi there couple of things first I'm back from vacation seconds I thought I would send in something I have been working on hope you like it 

Also if you have any tips to improve my writing and lengthen my chapter that would be greatly appreciated

Sorry one more thing that picture you made gave my an idea may I use it don't worry I will give you credit also I may not use it just thought I'd ask I didn't want to steal your work

-----

Ok one. AMAZING❗❗ Love it so far. As for tips ummmm, I would say? Maybe add some more dialogue, or even descriptions when you don't want talking. AND AND. Something I do a lot: explore characters point of views. You know, write it from their eyes, that's what I do; it explores what they're thinking and it helps add more length <33

ALSO I AM SO SORY FOR NOT SEEING THIS SOONER. I don't get notified of submissions, and I often answer asks from my notifications board, so I often don't see things like this u til I actually go to the inbox itself. Sorry <333

And yes❗❗ You can use my art, I don't mind as long as you credit me. Even if you don't end up using, I don't mind.

[the-cosmos-withinus]

Why do I hear crunching?

THIS IS THE LAST ASK LIKE THIS I'M GOING TO ANSWER

I have a pinned post that states what my rules regarding the askbox are and I have updated it to try to be more clear about what sort of questions are and are not appropriate to send here. Please read them.

I've answered a few in a similar vein to this because I had funny response, but I cannot emphasize this enough, this is not an RP blog, it's an art and writing archive based on a private au RP on discord that I will answer questions about

and I have said repeatedly that am not responding to ask directly interacting with Philip and Astrophel because you are not a character in our RP

The closest thing to that I actually answer is things like creating a situation for them to react to, and if that's the intent here, the rule for that is you can create situations but there is no 'you' to participate in the situations with them.

But even if that's what you were intending this to be a situation for them to react to, this ask is far too vague to respond to regardless. Why is there crunching? What's making the crunching? Is this ask directed at Philip or Astrophel? What sort of response am I supposed to make from this??? Beats the hell out of me-

-because this ask reads very much like you are trying to 'catch' monster Philip/Belos in the middle of eating someone, which would also be god-modding (controlling my character) if this actually were an RP blog and also shows blatant disregard of my portrayal.

I like making these little art responses, it's been a fun way to explain some of the AU's lore, and most of the asks I get are on anon so I don't want to turn it off. I can block anons and I will if this continues, but I don't want to have to do that either. Please read my rules and send appropriate asks for the type of blog this is.

[hookaroo]

Laden of the Torn (16 of 25)

AO3 link Catch up on tumblr: One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen Fourteen Fifteen Tagging @priscilla9993 @cocohook38 @killian-whump <3

The Less Clan healer’s alcove was not nearly as cozy as that of the First. Killian did not see any beds, or even seating, for that matter. Patch’s limited supplies were gathered at the base of a dead tree. Killian found a flat spot by the wall and dropped heavily to the ground. Patch tossed a ball of fluffy plant fibers, dripping with disinfectant, in Killian's direction, then pointed at the stiff stain of blood on his upper leg. Wincing, he reached forward and scooped it into the bloodstained claw his hand had become. Minerals dissolved in solution began a chemical reaction within his open wounds, its bubbles like boiling water poured all over his palm. Growling, Killian dropped the fibers into position covering the tooth punctures in his thigh, and the vigorous fizz soon had that area similarly aflame.

Killian sat back, closing his eyes and grinding his teeth. It would be easier to bear if it had any meaning, but as it was, he had gained nothing but more injuries to add to his extensive collection… some serious, potentially even life-altering. He was no closer to rescuing Puzzle and thus could take no solace in possibly getting one step closer to Alice. Frustration offered no balm, only salt rubbed into throbbing wounds. 

Killian bit back a yelp as Patch began scrubbing roughly at his mutilated palm, which was no more than he had expected from an enemy caretaker, but still felt like Hellfire seeping its way down to the bone. Those long hours spent under Mandible’s paws seemed like pure bliss compared to this. 

“I am sorry,” murmured Patch with surprising sympathy. “You will thank me later.” 

“Maybe,” Killian grunted, trying not to squirm. “I am a bit partial to this hand. Would prefer not to lose it.” 

Patch dipped her cloth into fresh disinfectant and resumed her task. “I cannot promise anything.”

Some excruciating length of time later, the scrubbing gave way to that unique red-hot shock that could only belong to one thing: the helpless insect he was growing too familiar with. Through the squeezing heat of its venom, Killian heard the quiet crunch as its body disappeared between Patch’s jaws. 

“You may have the next one,” offered Patch. 

With gritted teeth, Killian shook his head. “No thank you.” 

Eating insects always stirred up unpleasant memories of desperate times. And he was too woozy to be hungry at the moment anyway. Still, considering how much of a delicacy Patch’s species considered them to be, it was kind of her to offer. Killian risked a quick glance at the next struggling ant, just to confirm its identity. 

“I was under the impression that your rivals were the only clan to use Warrior Ants in their healing arts.” 

It wasn't a particularly important question, but it gave him something to take his mind off of the ruins of his hand he’d just glimpsed. Patch carefully applied the next set of jaws.

“Mandible told you that?” 

“Yes…” He thought for a moment, then amended, “Actually, it may have been along the lines of his being the one to perfect the technique.”

“That is closer to what he told me as well.” 

“You've spoken to him?” 

Killian had thought that the animosity between the two clans would prevent any casual contact between their members. To his surprise, Patch said, 

“I learned most of my healing skills from him.” 

Figuring that any additional intelligence about clan dynamics could be used to his advantage, Killian asked, 

“How did that come about?” 

The Less healer glanced up at his face in brief hesitation before responding. “I was born to the First Clan and discovered my purpose there. Mandible is a good instructor, and it was only after he taught me all he knew that I became the chief healer of the Prime Clan.” 

“And what made you decide to switch sides?” 

Patch set aside her container of ants and opened a pouch containing bandaging material. “Our Chieftains arranged a trade. The Prime had just lost their only healer, and the First needed a skilled metal forger.”

Killian had been watching the monkey's face but lacked the ability to read complex emotions. Thus, he could not tell how Patch felt about the situation. 

“Were you given any sort of say in this trade?” 

Patch waited until her bandaging job was underway before answering slowly. “Favor willed it so.” 

Killian managed to turn a derisive scoff into an only slightly exaggerated grunt of pain. “Just because someone is in authority over you, it doesn't mean they have your best interests in mind. Quite often, the opposite is true.” 

Patch said nothing and Killian did not press the issue. A moment of silence elapsed, then he sighed. 

“I suppose you’re completely loyal to your new clan now. Considering the infallible wisdom of the two chieftains. You couldn't possibly have retained any sense of belonging to the family who raised you. Not a dutiful servant such as yourself.” 

Patch would not meet his gaze. Killian allowed himself to feel a glimmer of hope and tried a gentler tone. “You couldn't be blamed for not feeling the same animosity. Especially if you still have friends on the other side. Look, surely you don't condone this whole kidnapping business, after having been through something like it yourself.” 

With nimble paws, Patch secured the bandage and sat back on her haunches. She glanced over her shoulder, then said, 

“My opinion does not matter.” 

Killian lowered his voice, even though there was no other being in sight.

“You're the only one who might be able to help! You know I don't stand a chance against Quake; not like this.” He indicated his freshly bandaged hand and winced. Patch remained motionless, and Killian dared to believe he saw indecision in her eyes. 

“Think back to when you were first brought here,” he urged. “You must have felt so frightened and alone; I know I would have. It couldn't have been easy, knowing you may never see your friends or family again. Do you really want to leave Princess Puzzle to that same fate? Or arguably worse, considering her intended role?” 

Patch's coppery fur puffed out in a sudden shiver, and she busied herself once again among the tools of her trade.

“Of course not,” she hissed, eyes averted. “But what can I do? Lack would never listen to me. If I spoke up, it would only anger him, and that would make life very difficult for me.”

“I wouldn’t ask that of you,” Killian assured her, trying and failing to find a comfortable position in which to rest his hand. “Perhaps just some information; something I could have found out on my own if I’d had enough time. Doesn’t have to be anything that could be traced back to you. I would be grateful for anything at this point.” He raised an eyebrow and flashed what he hoped was an encouraging smile at her. “So… what do you say?”

Patch had turned her attention to the bites on his leg, tending them through a rip in his trousers, and she did not answer immediately. When she did begin speaking, she kept her volume to a level just barely audible.

“The princess is under guard at the edge of the marshland to the south of here. Chief Lack is fiercely possessive and does not trust the rest of the clan to be in easy contact with her, so she will be kept out of the way until she is mature enough that he can claim her. If you could manage to defeat her guards, it’s likely you would not meet much resistance all the way to the edge of Prime territory. Hardly anyone ventures into the marshes. Predatory and venomous reptiles call that place home.”

Killian did not relish the thought of another confrontation, but with all the references to “escorts” and “guards,” he knew it was all but inevitable. “Do you know how many are guarding her?”

“My best guess, only two at a time. They will be formidable warriors, but female. No cause for a jealous chieftain to worry.”

Killian nodded slowly, calculating. He would learn the way there whenever he was granted his request to visit Puzzle. They would be more alert to trouble at that time, but perhaps he could steal away later in the evening… that, of course, would mean navigating unfamiliar and hostile territory in the dark, without a map… what were the chances the princess would know the way home?

“There is a secret trail through the marshlands,” Patch said hesitantly. “As a young First scout, I would accompany a group of warriors to spy on the Prime, using the marshes as our route in and out. You only need to travel in a straight line between the stripe-barked trees, and there will be solid ground beneath the mud.” 

She began winding a bandage around his thigh, adding, 

“I do not believe the Prime are aware of this path. The final tree, the one up on solid ground… it points the way to a Stone Forest entrance within First territory. Head northwest a short distance and you will come to the border where you first encountered the Prime sentries earlier today. From there, you can simply retrace your steps to return Princess Puzzle to her family.”

“Easy enough,” replied Killian, already so exhausted from merely thinking about the journey. Travel through the treacherous bog would require at least some daylight, so a night-time rescue was out of the question. “Are there no sentries at the other end of the marsh?”

“There is always a risk, wherever you are along the border.” She tied a secure knot on the bandage, then reached up to pull his shirt away from the scratches adorning his ribs. He did his best to assist, using his stump to hold his shirt out of the way while she applied the abrasive antiseptic to the scratches. 

Now that he knew where the princess was being held, perhaps he would not need to stage the rescue while in his current state. He could bring his findings to the First, wait to regain the use of his hand, then return using the back way through the marsh for a more capable rescue. Even if the First clung to their stubborn beliefs about interference and refused to accompany him, at least he would stand more of a chance against the pair of Less guards. It would mean a longer imprisonment for Puzzle, which would be unfortunate, but probably worth it if it meant a greater chance of success. However… all of this depended on the Less keeping their word and letting him go the next morning. And he had already learned not to take their promises at face value. 

“Tell me, Patch... what do you think the chances are that I'm truly set free in the morning?”

She ducked her head slightly, ears flattening in an almost cringing motion. “They will keep their word. You will be escorted from here and released into First territory. Then…”

She trailed off, and it didn’t really need to be said. Killian closed his eyes and allowed his head to rest back against the wall. “Fair game?” 

“I am sorry,” she confirmed. “The Torn are not worthy of the gods’ attention. Chief Lack’s misleading of you will not provoke their wrath.” 

Killian sighed. “I was a bloody fool, thinking I could come in here and do some good for once. So, in summary: in the morning, I could choose to release the princess only for me to remain behind to be eaten, ensuring that she would be recaptured swiftly. I could leave her behind, take my chances with the entire Prime Clan, and if by some miracle, I managed to escape, sneak back through the lizard-infested swamp to attempt to break her out when I'm stronger. Or, I could make my move today when I'm escorted to visit her, while everyone is on high alert for just such a thing and I have no usable hands and a similar measure of reserve strength. Would you say that's an accurate assessment of my three equally terrible options?” 

Patch put the finishing touches on her dressing, stopped to scratch her back with a hind paw, then paused, deep in thought. Killian watched her with one eye slitted open. 

“Wait here,” she finally said, then dashed off. Alone with scattered thoughts and pains old and new, Killian heaved a quiet groan as he attempted to rest. His hand throbbed unbearably, feeling three sizes too big, and the pressure from the bandage offered little relief. He tried wiggling each finger in turn, and the only partial victory came with a feeble twitch of his pinky. He winced and gave up.

“Oh Alice,” he sighed. “Your papa is not nearly as clever, brave, or strong as either of us believed. You deserve so much better.”

Some white knight he was. Bloody white elephant, more like. How many times had he counseled her to never give up, to believe in herself and her dreams of freedom? Too many to number, surely. If she could see him now, this bloodied, defeated mockery of the example he’d always endeavored to be for her, she would be met with the reality he had so naively sought to deny: he was not father material, and never had been. His upbringing and a long life of depravity had corrupted his soul, and the love he felt for her was not enough to compensate. It would have always come to this, sooner or later. Captain Hook deserved only suffering, and he’d been a fool to hope for a happy ending.

But… even if he didn’t deserve happiness, certainly Alice did? As much as it felt like the universe was conspiring to make him fail, he had to believe that Alice’s innocence would add weight to the opposite end of the scale. He tried to envision her adoring smile in an effort to wipe away the imagined disappointment that had festered a little bit more deeply inside with each additional failure. He needed to take his own encouragement to heart. 

Mindset is everything, he recited at the vision of his daughter. 

Everything starts with belief, the memory of her voice chimed in. And he swallowed his pain, drowned the discouragement, and met the eyes of a returning Patch with weary resolve.

“I have informed Chief Lack that you require one hour’s rest before you visit the princess,” Patch told him. “I can mix a draught that will boost your energy for a short period, but it will work better if you have a chance to relax first.”

She stopped nearby, clutching a small pouch and looking Killian over once again. Silent, he nodded his assent. Patch scoured their surroundings for any sign of eavesdroppers, then she lowered her voice.

“Now. This is the course of action I would advise you to take…”

[daechwitatamic]

WWH Drabble: Okay this one is new and I think is cute, not too juicy but well...I'm scanning all the chapters and i thought of the first facetime call (chapter 2), Would you give me Taehyung beging Yoon for Yn's phone number please!!!!? hahahaha cause I don't think Mr MYG is going to make it easy for him.

(banner by @itaeewon)

What Was Hidden 

POV Drabble #3: Minefield

WC: 1k

Warnings: language, drinking

A/N: All references are from Chapter 2 :) To @pamzn (and everyone else) I hope you enjoy!!!

Taehyung stares at the text swimming on the page before him. 

“Am I stupid?” he asks Jimin, who sits on the opposite couch, typing away. “Seriously. Am I dumb? Why can’t I understand this?”

“Which one of those questions should I actually answer?” Jimin murmurs, without looking up.

Taehyung considers this. “None of them,” he decides. He closes his copy of Strindberg’s five plays and tosses it to the side. “I know the answer already. I am, in fact, too stupid for these lit classes.”

“You’re not stupid,” Jin tells him from the kitchen. “You have attention issues.”

“I’m paying attention,” Taehyung insists hotly. “It just doesn’t make sense.”

“Sparknotes, bro,” Jungkook says mildly.

Taehyung groans, closing his eyes. “I need Namjoon.”

“He’s not going to help you unless you actually did the reading first,” Jimin reminds him. “He doesn’t like to enable us.” He punctuates this with air quotes. 

The front door opens and all three boys look up to see Yoongi coming in out of the rain, shaking his jacket before hanging it up. Behind him, a pretty girl takes off her rain-spattered glasses and wipes them dry on the hem of her shirt. Taehyung recognizes her - your roommate, the quiet one. He’d met you two girls at the same party, less than a week ago.

“Good evening, Miss Kiko,” he says. Yoongi throws him a glare just as Jimin pelts him with a throw-pillow.

“Don’t be fucking weird,” Jimin scolds. 

“Hi Taehyung. Hi guys,” Kiko says shyly.

“Great,” Yoongi says dryly. “We’ve all said hello. Let’s go.” He leads her wordlessly through the room and to the stairs that lead to his basement lair. 

“It really is like living with a gremlin,” Taehyung remarks. 

“If you’re not going to do your homework, come help me stir this,” Jin calls from the other room. Taehyung snorts, but stands. It does smell good in there. 

“Yes, Mother,” he drawls. He eyes the basement door as he passes, the wheels in his head starting to whir.

–

It’s a waiting game, but it’ll be worth it, he hopes. Taehyung knows he has to wait until Kiko's gone - Yoongi's a little more tolerant with Taehyung than he can be with others, but Taehyung knows if he's trying to sweet-talk his friend into something, his chances are better if he catches him alone.

From his bedroom, sometime not long after they eat dinner, he hears the telltale sounds of Yoongi taking Kiko back to campus - their voices mingling at the bottom of the stairs, the jangle of car keys, the slam of the front door, and the dull hum or the car's engine. Taehyung listens to the car pull away, gravel crunching under tires, and goes to wait in the living room, scrolling on his phone. When he hears the car pull back in, about half an hour later, he stands up and plasters a sickly-sweet smile on his face.

When Yoongi comes through the front door, he freezes instantly as he spies Taehyung, standing in the middle of the room like a work of very creepy art.

“Hello, my very favorite roomie,” Taehyung says sweetly.

Yoongi rolls his eyes. “What do you want?” 

Taehyung considers, quickly, if he should lay on more charm or if he should just spill. Losing patience quickly, Yoongi narrows his eyes, and Taehyung makes a snap decision. 

“I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve been spending a lot of time with Y/N’s roommate,” he starts. 

If possible, Yoongi’s eyes narrow even more. He doesn’t answer this, just crosses his arms over his chest and lifts his chin a little, daring Taehyung to try him.

“The reason I make this observation,” Taehyung continues at a clip, before Yoongi can decide he's had enough, “is because I am in dire need of help with my Strindberg paper -.”

“I’m not making Kiko do your homework for you,” Yoongi tells him, and brushes past him towards the kitchen. Taehyung follows, undeterred. He finds Yoongi rummaging in one of the cupboards for a wine glass. Still in ass-kissing mode, Taehyung moves to the kitchen table and picks up the bottle of red and brings it over, popping the cork as he does.

Yoongi watches this wordlessly, holding out a hand to accept the bottle. 

“I don’t want Kiko to do my homework,” Taehyung says evenly. He waits while Yoongi pours himself a glass of wine, then shakes his head no when his friend raises his eyebrows, silently offering a glass. “I don’t even want Kiko to help me with it.”

Yoongi considers this, eyeing Taehyung over the top of his glass. “So, then?” he prompts. This is a good sign, Taehyung knows. 

“Y/N is tutoring me twice a week,” Taehyung explains. “But I don’t see her again until next week and I am seriously very fucking stuck on this paper. Extremely stuck. Mind-numbingly stu-.”

“I get it,” Yoongi cuts him off. 

“I just need her number,” Taehyung finishes. “Please?”

Yoongi raises an eyebrow. “The university didn’t give you her contact info?”

“Her school email,” Taehyung admits. “But that feels so weird. Like, what the fuck would I even say in an email? Good evening, Y/N, this is Kim Taehyung from tutoring, as you can see by the university email address I’m using…”

“That’s only what you would say if you had zero social skills,” Yoongi points out. He seems to be humoring the conversation a lot more now that he knows Taehyung isn’t really trying to talk to Kiko. 

“I want to call her,” Taehyung says, tone a little begging. “I’m better speaking than typing, you know I’ll make it weird if I have to write it…” 

“I think you’ll make it weird either way,” Yoongi tells him, and Taehyung pouts, bottom lip jutting out.

“Pleaaaaase,” he begs. “Ask her for Y/N’s number for me? It’s for school. It’s not even for…” he trails off, realizing he’d revealed something he hadn’t meant to.

Yoongi is on this crumb immediately, looking pleased and a little devious. “Not for your own dirty purposes?”

“They aren’t dirty!” Taehyung protests, offended. “I actually like-.” He shuts up again, makes a loud noise of aggravation. “I swear, talking to you is like walking in a minefield!”

Yoongi laughs, shoulders shaking. “Only if you have things to hide,” he laughs, and Taehyung rolls his eyes good-naturedly. “Now, if I were to ask Kiko for the numbers... what would I get out of this?”

“Really?” Taehyung demands, but he’d half expected this turn of events. “We’re bartering? For a phone number?”

Yoongi shrugs. “Suit yourself then,” he says, and moves to push himself off the kitchen counter like he’s going to walk away.

“Ugh, fine!” Taehyung caves, like everyone involved knew he would. “I’ll do your laundry for a week.”

“A week?”

“Two weeks. And I’ll pay for your gas next time you need to fill up.”

Yoongi considers this, then nods. “Alright. I’ll text it to you when she sends it.”

Taehyung deflates with a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

Yoongi makes a noncommittal noise and moves to leave the kitchen. He pauses in the doorway, then turns back. 

“You know,” he says slowly, voice suddenly completely different - gone is the teasing, game-playing Yoongi, and instead Taehyung’s faced with the older friend who he’d often gone to when he needed quiet advice. “It’s okay if you like her.”

“Yeah,” Taehyung says quietly, not really agreeing, just accepting the comment. “Thanks.”

Yoongi doesn't move, instead hovers in the doorway, looking at Taehyung searchingly. "It might be good for you," he says finally, voice very quiet, and then disappears into the living room. Taehyung hears the basement door open and then close behind him.

A few minutes later, his phone buzzes in his pocket. Yoongi’s text - your number.

Taehyung makes his way upstairs, stopping in Jimin’s doorway, feeling like he needs a confidence boost from his best friend.

“Begone, traitor,” Jimin tells him flatly, not even turning around from where he sits at his desk. “I heard you call Min Yoongi your favorite roomie. You’re dead to me.”

Thank you so much for reading! My full masterlist can be found here :)

[herecomesaspecialghoul]

special! do ghouls need to eat human food? *can* they eat human food??? if you can what are u n your bandmates favourite foods !

We don't eat or sleep or none of that stuff, but, in order for their shapeshifting to be the most convincing and good, I have trained my siblings in the arts of shapeshifting teeth- we ain't got mouths usually- and biting stuff so as to appear like they're eating. They all have favorite things to chomp, hopefully that'll work for you :)

🔮 Well, is it not obvious? 🔮

💧 I like how it sounds when I crunch a well-done toast piece. 💧

⛰ I am going to say a joke now. I like to bite my drumsticks. This concludes the joke. For a genuine answer, apples. ⛰

🔥 Marshmallows. 🔥

🇨🇭 Pretending to eat pizza is probably my favorite biting exercise. Humans have so many types of it!🇨🇭 ☁️ Anything! ☁️

🌩 Special's tail! 🌩

☀️ I haven't done much food stuff yet but ice looks interesting. Especially the kind that comes in different colors! ☀️ (I hope my emoji picks for my siblings make sense!)

And then there's me... Well, I've been pretending to be human much longer than they have, so I've got more experience in this, but I don't know if I've, eh, got a favorite food... Actually, I do! Pasta. Just... Pasta. It is a thing that does so many different, like there's the pasta "kingdom" and then you have phyla and order and separate pasta species! And raw pasta sounds a lot different from cooked, eheheheheheheehehe.

[janiestumb]

Tokyo

Yesterday’s early morning rain and wind made for a humid, sunny mid-morning. Yesterday’s 7-10am weather event was truly the only weather wrinkle in an unexpectedly warm trip thus far. So I won’t even remotely complain. But I had planned to take the train to Kamakura at 8am and hike to Buddhist and Shinto shrines in the wilderness early so I could make my way back to Tokyo for a pre-planned omakase at 6.

I, of course, did consider hiking in the rain. Because I’m nuts here. More on that later. But when the unfriendly weather and time crunch forced a pivot, I decided to listen to reason (Pee Wee) and escape the heat in some of Tokyo’s truly overwhelming number of museums (dedicated to art! origami! military weapons! packaging!) and continue to do what I love most here. Walk and walk and walk and and walk. And walk and walk. And walk. And have a coffee and charge my phone. And find a bakery and eat bread. And think and look and go "wow" and take a picture. And walk and walk.

At about 10am, I was making my way north toward a museum complex in Ueno when I found myself sweaty, frizzy and self-conscious in the modern, airy business district of Toranomon.

From the moment I arrived in Tokyo, I have felt incredibly out of place here. Not just for my phenotype, but because I am dressed like a piece of shit. That said — despite sticking out, no one in Tokyo has given me even the slightest sense that I don’t belong or any sense of judgment. This is internal. I keep expecting France-style side-eye and getting none!

Before coming here, I of course knew that Tokyo style would be cool, but I am still blown away. People are dressed breathtakingly, stunningly simply and chicly. Not just some people. All people. I mean it.

The common cut of women’s clothes is loose but well-fitted, modest and refined. Not a lot of extraneousness. No prints. No logos. Nothing flashy. Just clean, interesting, modern but classic, and perfect.

“Loose” for locals is not for me. I learned this the fun way a few days ago when I tried on a pleated skirt with an elastic waist at a boutique in one of my favorite new areas, Nekameguro. Already feeling like a hulking ogre in my clunky hiking shoes, dirty shorts and anything-but-understated backpack, I squeezed the skirt over my hips and it squinched my stomach like a hairband. I pulled back the dressing curtain and signed to the shop clerk, “bigger?”, making a circle with my thumbs and pointers and then expanding. She shook her head. “Only one.”

Yes, stores sometimes carry only one size, and that size is too small for me.

So there I was, yesterday, in my extremely non-modest leggings showing off my above-average-for-this-city size, feeling self-conscious that I brought a short, purple rain jacket when that is simply not the cut nor color here, and I was wondering about the salary men.

At every corner in the large district of Minato City, there are groups of men waiting for the walk signal (no jay-walking here) in extremely expensive-looking suits, all going to or from this office or that. Where are they going? What do they do all day?

Sometimes you travel to a place and wish you lived there (Portugal), but this is not one of those places for me. I am obsessed with this city. My heart and mind are expanding at an untenable pace, but I have no desire to live here because I recognize that my life as an outsider is totally different than that of someone living here with a career.

Work-life balance in Tokyo is notoriously tough. My dinner host from Sunday (who I have to devote an entire other blog post to) told me that her late husband used to come home at 11pm and leave for work again at 7am. You get PTO, but never for more than a week at a time, and then sometimes you have to cover for a coworker, so actually just forget it. Time off is never a guarantee. But for me? Without travel, I would be dead.

What’s unbelievably moving to me, in contrast, is that wedged between the modern office buildings, and skyscrapers and businesses and monuments to capital, there are extremely old, fucntional shinto shrines.

And as people come and go throughout their day, they actually use those shrines. They follow the ritual — cleansing their hands and mouths when they enter, bowing, clapping, praying, then bowing again at the exit. Imagine if you were in New York on a Tuesday at 10am, hustling your way from the gynecologist on E 72nd to your office at a media company on 23rd, and on the way you stopped for a quick traditional prayer. It’s breathtaking to see.

Some very brief, reductive info on Shinto - it’s not something you can convert to. It’s Japan’s native belief system. Japanese people can practice it along with Buddhism. Not at odds. I told my host I loved the shrines and she asked if I could even enter because I’m Judeo-Christian. (This is not an unreasonable question! I googled it. Some Christians feel they can not!) My version of spirituality is “all roads lead to the same place and g-d is everywhere.” If I don’t have to pray to a deity or through an intermediary, it’s a go.

Anyway, every day of my life, I feel like I have to make up for lost years, for time spent dealing with death, for giving away my life to career paths that spat on me and a dude who sucked, for actually never having PTO because I was full-time but freelance (still mad), and of course COVID. This is my first non-working vacation in a really really really really long time. And I haven’t had PTO in about a decade.

Yesterday, contemplating what work is all for, I texted my friend “But what do salary men do?” He responded, “I think we are salary men.”

Here’s the thing — he is right.

I had a career pivot this year. I officially stuck the landing of re-entering the full-time employee corporate sphere, selling my soul for health insurance, but the tradeoff for benefits has been that I find myself having to wake up at 7am, sign on and work until 6pm, without ever having the chance to even change into real clothes. I’m still falling behind somehow, and the stress is horrible. (Funny enough, my large mega-corp is based out of Japan.)

I think that’s part of why this trip feels like I’ve been shot out of a rocket. All I do all day long is sit sit sit. Every day is the same. There’s no movement. There’s no meaning. No nothing. Lately, it’s been actually kind of stupidly bad because all that’s consuming me beyond the drudgery of whatever I’m doing is the barrage of horror in the world and my sadness over the way the government is handling it and people are handling it online, my disillusionment with what it means to be progressive, and America slipping further and further into a country of hateful, gun-toting mavericks without any hope for socialized medicine. The tension between my desire to have a family and not wanting to be stuck with some loser partner, no longer being able to travel the way I like, and also wanting to throw up at the thought of what a kid being raised in our modern world has to face. To step away from that right now made me feel worried and guilty, but it has been wonderful.

And life in LA is obviously as good as it gets in America, but don’t come for me, I still think it mostly sucks. It isn’t a city for walkers. It isn’t a city for exploring. It’s a city of cars. I hate traffic and freeways and repetitiveness. And a lot of the time, I feel a weird tension with it.

[Redacted rant about LA because no one cares]

But then, to land in Tokyo. And find a New York meets Paris but way bigger, extremely safe, quiet, clean and tremendous and its entirely own thing that is so fucking pretty and cool and interesting with a phenomenal history feels like shooting off the starting block. I’m flying.

My hips are aching, my lower back is tight and my already-calloused heels have blisters. Despite my brain wanting to keep going going going going every night, at some point I have been forced to stop exploring and assess if I should rest.

I feel this spiritually too. I’m 37 and making up for lost travel time. I’m making up for all the places I haven’t yet seen and trees I haven't touched and people I haven't met and wondering when I’ll get to go back to each place I only see for the first time. My physical ability and my being alive are not guaranteed for one second longer than this moment. Soon, will I be forced to rest?

There are places I go - like here - that my mom would have loved but she never made it. I grieve her so much when I travel. She’d be proud of me. She’d know this person I become when I travel - someone who’s more curious, humble and brave - as me. There’s certain things she said to me that I carry with me when I travel, that nailed the exact kind of person in and of this world I want to be.

I always wish she was with me. She is, but she isn’t. There’s an awe I feel that I get to experience anything at all.

And every day in Japan, I’ve felt what the Portuguese call saudade, a unique nostalgia. For me, it’s for the fact that this trip will end and I’ll be back in my stupid chair 13 hours a day and then trudging through traffic to get to an office in Culver City and back. I’ll be wishing I was traveling. I’ll be feeling like each day is meaningless.

But I’ll get PTO.

Until then, I am simply here — and in life —needing to go and go and go until the wheels fall off.

[mauannacreates]

Day 2 Flufftober: Family, Friends, Loved ones

Here's my second day that I did for the flufftober Made by @flufftober. Hope you guys enjoy. (And this is my first time trying to write in Marielle's perspective.)

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I glance around the table standing in front of us. To have the wondrous Elaine sitting in the desk as she goes and fiddles with her fork. One where a smile trails across her face. And then with Tynan… The darkened knight whose brows twitches as he searches through the two of us.

It’s our first time sitting in the desk together like this. But then, we’re having a lot of firsts together as a power couple.

“Why are you so happy about this?” Elaine says, and I give a smile. 

“Because Lainy, you’re just so funny when you’re always just asking countless questions about me. “It’s like I’m an anomaly to you, lil’ sis.”

“Please do not call me your little sister.” 

“Oh, right. I forgot.” I laugh, “I’m the cool, awesome mom, while you’re the little big child who needs to be pampered in the cottage constantly.” 

“Marielle!” Elaine's hard and sharp voice says. But I keep on laughing.

“And Tynan’s the dad.” I point towards him, but he gives an unamused glance.

“Marielle.” He says, with his voice grumbles, “I am sure we talked about this.” 

“And we’ll keep on talking about it until the day we all die.” I say, as I give the greatest laugh ever… Too bad they don’t know humor. Even if both of their hearts twist against mine at the presumed sense of worse humor in the world. “Anyway, I shall have squid.” And I go and grasp the bucket that I had inside of me, and got a big headed animal with eyes dulled and tentacles flopped against the table. And their faces…! I have to laugh at how their faces twists and turns as if there’s something wrong with it…!

“Lainy, Ty, You guys have never eaten squid?” Their expressions makes it so obvious, and I turn towards Elaine. “I would think that they’d serve these sort of stuff to you, Lainy.”

“No…!” She slams the desk, but then her ears twitches, as her slit eyes glimpses towards me. But then, she sits back down on the seat. “Actually, they did serve me squid once; I hated it. So please, not under any circumstances insist that I’d have to try this slimy, barely cooked squid.” I stared at her. She’s as strict as a child without any sense of good culinaries.

“Ty! You must try it!” I say, bring it closer to him… And even he’s looking with his brows curved slightly… But it doesn’t seem of disdain.

“Is it like fish…? Like trout?”

“Ooh, it is even better!” I say, “Here, try this.” And I thrust the tentacle out until it gets pulled out. And I place it on the table as he stares at me. He goes and picks it up with his beak and starts eating it. And Lainy is just coughing and gurgling as she twists her head away. But he uses his claws to hold it as he keeps on eating it. “So, how does it taste?”

“I will admit, it is not the worst thing I tried.” He says. “But it could be better.” 

“Whaat!?” I say, “How?” And his beak twitches up. 

“Maybe with some pepper, a dash of lemon and… Parmesan.”

“Parmesan…?” Why have fish with dairy…? It tastes so much better by itself.

“You eat cheese!?” Elaine voice echos, that I nearly bounce off the table as she points towards him, and Tynan's head tilts to the side.

“Uhh, not typically.” The blue owl says, as his big wide eyes glances towards me. “I just heard that squid tentacles is great with parmesan. That is, if I’m not wrong.” And I give a nod… 

“Did you read it from a book?”

“Culinary of fine arts, seafood section, page fifty three.” Wow... That's very... Specific.

“So Ty… How often do you read books?” I say, leaning closer to him. “I mean, having to leave your own library for this? I doubt you’d have any time to read. while you're with us.” 

“Marielle, I read as often as I can. Whenever I can, wherever I can.” He says crunching his beak. “It doesn’t really matter where you’re at, as long as I'm reading something, it's is fine by me.” He eats another piece of the squid, as he glimpse towards me. “Besides, it is my dad’s, not mine.”

“But still, it’s so cool to have to meet a princess and a librarian in Aeromount Ridge… It’s so awesome…!” And with the soft smile trailing Tynan’s beak to Elaine rubbing the back of her neck… I have to admit. It’s so nice here…!  

If you guys are interested in looking into some of the other prompts that I have done from the previous months, check it out here:

[suckitsurveys]

Have you ever seen a fox in person?   Yeah, my husband hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. And an actual fox, too.

Would you say you have a quiet mind or do you have a lot of thoughts?   Oh bro, there is always so much on my mind all the time always. 

When did you last do something brave?   Idk, existing is pretty brave of me.

Have you ever seen a magician?   Yes.

What’s something you remember from your childhood that you wish you could experience again?   Just, having the energy to PLAY.

Do you believe in karma? Why or why not?   KARMA’S A RELAXING THOUGHT, PANCHO EN FIESTA POR YOU IT’S NOT.

Do you have a tiktok account?   I dooooo go follow me dm me for the link.

Do you prefer the scent or color of lavender?   Both. It’s one of my favorite colors AND scents.

Would you rather live in a castle or a cottage?   Cottage.

What type of music do you listen to the least and why?   Religious-centered music.

When did you last visit a library?   Uhhhhhhhhhh good question.

What’s one of your favorite memories from staying up late? Oh man, I love staying up late. I used to be on a Rocky Horror shadowcast and they performed at midnight every month and then the whole cast and crew would go out to eat after at like 2 am and I just felt so COOL.

Have or would you ever wear a necklace with someone’s initial on it?   I would, yes.

What last made you laugh out loud?   My coworker and I keep quoting Ferris Bueller today for some reason.

Do you usually keep water by your bedside at night?   Yes.

What’s an interesting fact about yourself?   I don’t know. Define interesting.

What did you last heat up in a microwave?   Pad see ew for lunch on Monday.

Would you consider yourself lucky?   In some ways, yes.

What kind of pizza did you eat last?   I actually just ordered pizza for the office and that’ll be here in an hour or so. We’re getting Lou Malnati’s and I ordered their special (tomatoes, spinach, mushrooms, cheddar cheese), plain cheese, pepperoni, and sausage.

What kind of shampoo do you use?   Whatever is on sale.

How many blue objects are in the room you’re in?   Let’s see. Several pens, a Cubs towel from when they won the World Series, a Cubs magnet, a mini Cubs hat I have on my monitor, some thumb tacks, my headphones, 2 recycling bins, 2 storage bins..that’s all I can see from where I am sitting...

Would you rather visit an art museum or an aquarium?   Either sound fun but to my core I am a sea creature girlie.

Do you prefer sweeter cereal over unsweetened?   Either. I looooooooooove Cheerios but I also loooooooooooove Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Mmm that sounds really good right now.

If you could build a 5 artist/band lineup to your dream music festival.. which ones would you choose?   Harry Styles, Post Malone, Billie Eilish, Lana Del Rey, Vampire Weekend. Which is a wild line up hahahah

What’s a habit you have broken or are currently trying to break?   Overeating and just not taking care of myself.

Have you ever volunteered at an animal shelter?   Yes.

Is there anything currently bothering you?   Yeah.

How many stuffed animals do you have on your bed?   One. A bat Squishmallow.

How much is too much to spend on a pair of shoes?   Anything over $50 is pricey for me, but I’m willing to spend up to like $120 if they’re a good, quality pair.

What’s the strangest thing that you’ve ever seen someone collect?   Animal bones?

Have you recently been to a concert or live show?   I just saw John Mulaney back in February. It was the taping of his latest special Baby J.

Who did you last have a phone conversation with?   My boss.

What’s the most dominant personality trait you have?   Annoyingness.

Do you ever watch sports?   Yes, baseball and basketball on occasion.

What’s had the biggest impact on your day? Uhhh. .

What’s your least favorite cheese? Ricotta.

What did you last have as a snack?   BITCH, can I please, have, one snack?

What’s your favorite decoration in your place of residence?   I have this really cute poster of the Royal Tenenbaums house, like, dissected so you can see each room.

Would you rather read a book or watch a movie?   Movie.

What’s your plans for the upcoming week?   Tomorrow I have a swim class and my friend is meeting me after for adult swim, and then I miiiiiiiight watch Pete Davidson’s new show Bupkis, but I also might wait til Sunday and do that with my other friend. And then Friday I don’t have anything planned. Mark and I might have a fire. And the weekend is up for grabs because my sister needs help moving stuff and painting.

When did you last feel rushed?   Yesterday.

What was the last thing to scare you?   Health related stuff.

Have you drank enough water today?   I haven’t drank any water today OOPS.

What’s your top 3 favorite fruits?   Pomegranates, watermelon, avocados. Bananas too!

What season do you think is the most comfortable? Summer and early fall.

What website do you frequent often besides Bzoink?   I don’t go on Bzoink so lets start there.

Do you have anything due soon?   No.

What did you last consume that you thought was nasty?   I don’t remember.

What’s a song you feel describes your mood most right now? I don’t know.

[foxyslide]

🦋DIARY🌸

TW

TW

TW

TW crappy Ed art, ramblings, cw, intake and cals burned

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(Old)

Update from yesterday. I feel like I’ve had this epiphany before??? About stopping smoking 🍃??? Have I??? I should probs go through all my rants to see the patterns. It’s 13:07 now having coffee, gonna go out cycling in a bit after our “brunch” I guess since it’s so late, we woke up at 11:30 lol, hubby is gonna eat something and have his tea. Feeling good, cw this morning 53.3kg. Gonna fast again today, and tm hubby said he wants to have sugar cane juice with me at the Indian neighbourhood. I looked up the cals for 100ml it’s 78kcal and it’s high in fibre apparently so it’s good for weight loss although it is of course high in sugar. We’re getting it straight from the sugar cane the guys gonna cut it up and prepare it for us which is really cool. 

“Guys. Guys. Guys… I managed to fast today without any problems. The trick? Stop smoking 🍃 🤦🏽‍♀️like, how did I not realise this before????? I completely forgot about munchies. I really thought the hunger was coming from within, that I had no self control, that I was spiralling. It’s crazy how much it changes the way you think. But today I was chill, I didn’t go out cycling on my own had a lot of social anxiety in the morning so couldn’t do it, but did a few crunches, drew, just chilled. And when hubby came home we went out cycling a little. I had decided to stop smoking and to do cleanse my body, do my seven year plan (yeah, looooooong arse plan, basically you know how your cells are all replaced every seven to ten years, i want every part of my being to be healthy with no junk within them at all. And since I’ve read your genes can turn on and off depending on your environment/what you consume - for example if you’re a smoker and you stop smoking, in time your smoking gene gets turned off - I can change myself in that level too. This might be extreme but I feel the need to be cleansed, start fresh.) Hubby came home and I declined smoking, he still smoked and ate (pizza again from the shops) and we chatted for a long time which was nice. I told him everything and now he also wants to change and do it with me. He told me he wished I’d told him before because then he wouldn’t have gotten more 🍃 to smoke, he would have stopped today. I said it’s alright he’s on holiday from next week he can start then. Made me feel good that he wants to join me but also made me feel like shit so if I hadn’t taken initiative he would have just continued on like this and not given any thought to it, which means I can’t rely on him to get my life sorted out I have to rely on myself :-/ which is all good honestly I think I am quite mature and I don’t mind taking the reins (in some aspects of life, he’s mature in his own way and takes charge of practical things so I think we balance each other very well). 

Anyway so I will be working long shifts next week, and apparently you can loose up to seven kg in a week if you restrict properly so let’s see if that actually happens. I’m so excited, I know I’ll be exhausted from work but just having my mind unclouded gives me optimism I haven’t had before. 

Anyway today I had: 

Coffee 15kcal

Some sips of orange concentrate I’m gonna say 1kcal

Cycled 12miles -720kcal  

Some stomach crunches didn’t count how many I’m gonna guess 25 so that’s only -6.25kcal, I wanna incorporate crunches into my daily routine I can easily do them in bed.

So yep. Good day.”

This morning my abs hurt, I didn’t even do that many cruches! I feel so unfit because of it lol. Just need to continue doing them

🌸

[embarktodenmark22]

May 31st, 2022

I started out today with a stop by “J&C (Juice & Coffee)”, where I got a delicious spicy chai latte and this scrumptious Serrano sandwich on a long, dark bread with some pesto and just the right amount of crunch. Looking at the menu there was pretty funny, as a lot of their drinks were named after cities and states in the U.S, and their milkshakes were named after presidents- with delightful options such as the Obama, the Reagan, the Roosevelt, the Eisenhower, and the Biden. Gave Beia and I a good chuckle.

After eating and chatting for a bit, we met the rest of the group at the fountain near the DIS classroom building, and all piled in to listen to a presentation by a member of this group called INDEX, which supports and raises up design projects that are intended to improve the world in categories of home, work, education/play, body/self, and/or community. Ditte, who gave us the presentation, talked about several INDEX award winning projects- including things like a book that tracked down every single product that the pieces of a single pig wound up in (which was crazy- the byproducts of a single pig went into multiple hundreds of individual products), a centrifuge (device for separating blood to test for blood-borne diseases) made out of paper in an origami-like process, baby clothes designed to grow with the baby, the Lifestraw (a Danish invention, btw), a helmet that looks like a scarf and inflates only when you get into a crash on your bike, and an incredibly exciting potential new form of non-hormonal birth control with (seemingly) little to no negative side effects! It was really intriguing and inspiring to hear about all of these projects and the ways in which design can be realistically used to improve the world. It made me want to start thinking of ways in which the problems I encounter in life could be solved by design.

Oh, it was also super cool to hear that something I found out about on TikTok actually won a serious design award from them- this elaborate Minecraft world built/used by journalists in countries where there is no freedom of press and censorship that may, on occasion, include death. It made me rethink how I had perceived that project when I had first discovered it. Hearing about it on TikTok, I kinda laughed off this idea, that something beneficial could be stored in a Minecraft world. But, the more I think about it, the cooler of an idea it is that a video game invented for leisure and creative interaction with a digital world has so much unlimited creative potential that one can build an actual library within the program, one with real-world effects on journalism and as a tool to bypass censorship. It was wild.

Anyways, after the presentation, out next stop was Glyptotek, a really awesome art museum not too far away from our dorms. I biked over, locked up my bike and my stuff, and immediately dived in to looking at some art. I, as a whole, enjoyed seeing art from a lot of Danish artists whom I’d never heard of. Everything I saw, for the most part, was just as good as the paintings I had been taught about in my art history classes, so I figure Danish artists didn’t make the cut to be taught about simply because, perhaps, there were many artists of that skill level at the time.

However, I definitely spent most of my time in the exhibits about French artists and other European artists associated with their movements, like Gauguin, Courbet, Manet, Monet, Degas, and, my favorite, Van Gogh!

Not exaggerating, I spent most of my time in the exhibit looking at the bigger painting of Van Gogh’s that they had on display, “Landscape from Saint-Remy” (1889). The only other Van Gogh I’d ever seen was a much smaller piece at the Denver Art Museum, so seeing one of his works of this scale in person was truly mind-blowing. I know a lot of people say that he’s their favorite artist, but I am certainly no exception. Something about the way he used color… and the visual language of his lines and spots of paint- and, even better, seeing up close (literally, I was so close to the painting the security guard kept giving me a funny look) the textural quality of his work…. Unf! Total art nerd moment. But really, something about seeing it in person- three-dimensional globs of paint an all, was really transformative. This also was a piece I hadn’t seen (even digitally/in classes) before, and knowing that the way he rendered things like clouds is so similar to the way that I do it just intuitively- I don’t know. I feel a weird sense of kinship, I feel like I understand how he saw the world. Plus, knowing the story of his life… and, being a nerd, I couldn’t help but think of the scene from Doctor Who (that I wish could’ve been real) where they took him to the Louvre to see how much people appreciate his work post-Mortem- that scene makes me cry every time. I’m getting a bit off-topic but, hey, if you’re reading this, you know these blog entries are very train-of-thought.

Anyways, part of the exhibit was an entire room of Gauguin’s work. It was neat. I wish I could’ve enjoyed it more, but I’m really, really not a fan of Gauguin- his art is amazing, don’t get me wrong- but he was kind of an icky human being with a colonizer mentality, and something about the way he fetishized indigenous people in some of his work has always rubbed me the wrong way. Plus, if I’m remembering my art history correctly (and not confusing Gauguin for someone else entirely), he was kind of a dick to Van Gogh and possibly the reason for his worsening mental condition. So, yeah, if I’m not getting people mixed up, fuck Gauguin (Seriously, pardon my cursing. I know it’s unprofessional, but these are big, nerdy feelings about art history and there is no better way to express them). My personal feelings aside, I had no idea that Gauguin had lived in Copenhagen for a while, and had had a Danish wife! What was funniest to me was that the entire time he lived in Denmark, he was miserable and constantly complained about it. Sounds about right. (Seriously, this guy seems like a whiner, I’m loving it here!) But that was the reason they had an entire room of his art on display. It was interesting seeing some of his pieces from before he found the distinctive style he’s known for- seeing how traces of it come through in how he used color and markmaking- but it wasn’t quite where it had developed later on.

Anyways, other than nerding out about Impressionists and the French artists they had on display, I mused on a few other things while walking around the museum. One wall highlighted the artistic practice of nude studies/painting studies in general. On this wall there were 5-6 examples of the same model, same pose, from different artists who were there studying her. I, again, felt a weird artsy kinship. It reminded me of times in life drawing classes where we’d be studying a model with charcoal for about an hour, and I’d get to go around the circle of us and take delight in noting how we all have the same basic attributes and pose down, but with each piece having its own distinct artistic stylization based on the artist. I think seeing an older version of this really made me aware of how interesting it is that something I have lived experience doing is has art historical precedent- and, on a different level of analysis- the fact that I am getting to experience these same practices as a woman! My understanding of art studies in previous eras is that, for a long while, live studies were exclusively men- from the artists to the models. Eventually, as the exhibit wall discussed in the museum, it shifted so that female models were allowed. Only within the past 100-200 years, however, have women been able to be, like men, both model and/or artist. It’s something that I take for granted, honestly.

On that note, viewing historical art as a female is just a bizarre experience at times in general. In multiple pieces that I saw, women were featured not as people, but as decoration. Maybe I saw a few objectified male figures, but the difference in numbers between the two was stark. It was a pretty depressing reminder that, for most of history (and even now at times), we have been viewed as second-class citizens. And every time a woman has tried to speak up on this, she gets shut down, has her feelings invalidated, or, in modern times, has been viewed as a “man-hating feminist.” We shouldn’t have to be objectified or sexualized just because of the parts we were born with. Yet male artists seem to think the opposite.

Some of the art was also an uncomfortable reminder of “a different time-“ I saw a couple paintings and sculptures featuring a man and a “woman-“ where the woman was actually just a girl. One sculpture, you could tell distinctly by proportion that it was an adult man lying next to a young girl. In a portrait, I saw an old, greying man next to a complacent wide-eyed wife who just had the quality of adolescence to her. Again, not a comfortable experience to be seeing these things as a woman who has lived past all of her teenage years. It’s horrifying to me, as a 21-year-old who still often feels like a child, that we live in a world where girls as young as 13 were forced to bear children for disgusting older men as soon as they were able. And that we live in a world where certain states (not naming names…) are trying to lower the age of marriage… yuck.

Anyways, ramble aside, I was also uncomfortable not just as a woman, but as a fat person. Again, I understand art historical conventions and deep, deep-rooted beauty standards all the way back, but the fact that I didn’t see a single body that looks like mine… am I not worthy of seeing myself in art? Has society’s distaste of fat bodies gone on for that long? Fat people have always existed alongside “normal” bodied people. Were we not beautiful enough to be immortalized in stone? I wasn’t the only one. I won’t say who I talked to, out of respect for privacy, but another one of the women on the trip conveyed to me that she had a similar feeling. And that’s sad. I think I’m going to, when I get home, start some sort of support group for women to talk about these things. I don’t know.

Obviously, nobody can re-write history or change the fact that thinner women have always been seen (for some reason) as the pinnacle of beauty, but I really thought maybe the fact that plumpness was, at some point, associated with wealth/health would at least get a couple fat people into the art there. I think I just have to accept that I live in a world that is unkind to people based on how they were born. Most likely, no matter how I eat or work out I am stuck in a body that is genetically wired to hold on to fat, and there are always going to be people who see me as less beautiful for that. But, tying back to my point- art and design- this has left me enraged and inspired to pump out more art into the world where bigger-bodied people can be seen as attractive.

Anyways. Wow. I got way, way, way off on a ramble there. I apologize to anyone who reads this, if you sat through all of that. Big feelings just seemed to have tumbled out (I don’t do any sort of blogging or journaling often, so that’s probably why). Despite my different reactions to certain things, I really did enjoy myself at this museum. I think my favorite part really was seeing work by the artists I’ve thoroughly learned about in my various art history courses. There is such a difference to seeing their work in person versus on a screen. I think the only thing I was even remotely disappointed by was a piece by Theodore Gericault, where he faithfully rendered an image of an adorable cat, and forgot the best part of the cat…. The toe beans! What a crime. Sorry, I’m letting my crazy cat lady show through here too, I guess. Can’t fight who I am.

Again, I’m sorry about the rambling that has taken place in this blog. I am too tired to edit it out, so it is what it is. (Hi mom, I’m sure you’ve read all of this and are going to text me about it later, love you!)

Anyways, after the museum came a visit to a company formerly known as Krukow (unfortunately I’ve forgotten their new name, which, I mean no offense by this, is a lot more generic). We got a thrilling presentation about behavioral design that left me wishing that I had learned more about it from my other design classes! Essentially, behavioral design works with the part of your brain that is subconscious (“System 1,” they called is) which is what we naturally make decisions with 90% of the time- “System 2” thinking is the other 10% where you are focusing, not merely relying on instincts and natural behaviors, and actively putting mental energy into a task requiring a higher level of thought. A lot of the design I’ve thought about and even made thus far has been appealing to that, as I’ve, more or less, been taught. On some level, I’ve learned to utilize subconscious tools (like shape language- sharp shapes being aggressive, smooth ones being approachable- and color psychology), but it was so cool to see a style of design that was all about the subconscious mind.

This is the kind of design we all kind of take for granted, but it’s genius! One example they showed was, in part of their hospital redesign, they took a self check-in kiosk that was plain, unassuming, and completely unlabeled (That literally nobody used) and increased its usage rare by 100% simply by putting underneath it a big yellow circle with footprint graphics (indicating that it is a place to stand/approach) and a big sign relying on a lot of visual cues indicating that, essentially, it was a place to check in. If I wasn’t so into making art and design that’s visually flashy and eye-catching, I would so explore doing behavioral design. It’s so much deeper than I had assumed. I really admired how they emphasized the universal quality of using visuals over text- indicating actions/directions with mere icons rather than a paragraph of words.

Again, this is something I’ve certainly taken for granted as I’ve interacted with similar signage/icon use. It was also pretty humorous how they were playing mind tricks on us, in a way (not in a bad way)- when we arrived, they had soda, fruit, and candy awaiting us, which we all gratefully took and munched down on after a bike ride in the rain. Later on, they revealed that using “System 2” thinking (like that required to pay attention to a presentation and learn) is draining to the body, so they had encouraged our attention by, essentially, raising our blood sugar with all the sugary options available.

Given all that we got up to today, I feel like I’ve learned so much! I’m ready to apply what I’ve learned, too, as I had my second meeting for the project I’m currently working on with a team. The rest of the day after Krukow went as follows: I followed my friend to meet Travis, Michelle, and Noreen at an amazing burger place where I had yet another of the best chicken sandwiches I’ve ever had in my life. I rushed back with just enough time to make the meeting, started working on a game plan for the project’s upcoming deadlines (some of which occur while I’m still abroad!), Then proceeded to use the rest of the night to catch up on blogs and journals, run to the market for snacks and sushi, then chatted with Beia and Tessa about a variety of things until we were all tired and settled down for bed.

I’m finding, as fun as going out and partying is, that having nights in, especially whilst tired, is just good for the soul. I may or may not be going out with the extroverts in some of the upcoming nights, so it’s good to rest and save that energy for another day.

[guqin-and-flute]

Episode 73: Koala Chlamydia Is A Problem [My Brothers, My Sister and Me Excerpt]

[MBMSAM AU] [First Installment] [Podfics!] [Ao3 Link]

[COVER ART BY THE FANTASTIC LITTLESMARTART]

Jin Zixuan: Do we want another question?

Qin Su: Sure, yeah, got one right here. 'When I was younger, I was really skinny and weak'--hey! Hey, now, negative body talk, much! That's super judgmental of yourself!

Mo Xuanyu: And of us people who are skinny and weak right now! [teasing] Right, Yao-gege?

Meng Yao: [calmly] I'm not affiliated with you.

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [cackles]

Qin Su: 'When I was a kid, I was really skinny and weak, so I made it my mission to get as jacked as possible so people would take me seriously. I put in a lot of hard work, changed my exercise routine and diet and it worked. But now, as an adult I'm a 6 foot 7 dude--'

Jin Zixuan: [incredulous] 6 foot 7 ?

Qin Su: Just a mountain of a man. '--6 foot 7 dude with serious muscle mass--'

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: [sotto voce] Good God .

Qin Su: '-- and a pretty intense resting face. I routinely make children cry just by existing and everyone shoots me nervous looks in the grocery store. It gets to me sometimes. I’m not a bad guy! I just look scary. What are some ways that I can make myself less intimidating?’

Mo Xuanyu: Huh.

Qin Su: I mean, let’s see...puppies are unintimidating. Can you devise a system where you carry a few around with you at all times? Maybe in some saddle bags, everywhere you go?

Mo Xuanyu: The movies, the gym, on dates… .

Jin Zixuan: Sure, until they start pissing down your legs. Then you’re not just unintimidating, you’re the guy no one wants to stand next to at the bus stop.

Meng Yao: I mean, it still does the job, doesn’t it?

Mo Xuanyu: You could get a butterfly tattoo, like, directly on your forehead.

Meng Yao: Okay, please explain to me your thought process on how exactly that would make anyone more approachable.

Qin Su: They still want to be able to navigate human society, A-Yu.

Mo Xuanyu: Ew, why? 

Jin Zixuan: Let’s see...what makes someone approachable….Who is the least intimidating of all of us?

Qin Su: [immediately] You.

Meng Yao: [affirming] Mm.

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: [incredulous] What?

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: Oh yeah, you’re like...you’re like a poodle. Or a--

Jin Zixuan: [highly offended] Excuse me! I'm the oldest and definitely the tallest one here!

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: [ill concealed snort]

[crosstalk] Qin Su: [pityingly] Oh, da- ge .

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: Or a golden retriever.

Qin Su: Please don't tell me you think that being tall translates into you actually being scary. You’re tallest by, like, 3 inches. At most, that’s just part of the equation of being scary.

Meng Yao: And the rest of Zixuan’s equation is just filled with collared polo shirts. Which absolutely tanks the intimidation ratio.

Mo Xuanyu: That doesn't tank yours, though.

Meng Yao: I wear button downs. It’s not the same. [Vaguely disgusted undertone] Collared polos.

Jin Zixuan: Excuse you, polos are weekend wear and there is nothing wrong-- I can be intimidating!

Qin Su: [doubtfully] Ehhhhh…

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [badly stifled snickers]

[crosstalk]Jin Zixuan: I can! Just because I’ve never had to intimidate you --

Qin Su: Let's just say; citation needed

Mo Xuanyu: Please, jiejie has you beat.

Jin Zixuan: [indignant] Wha--

[crosstalk] Qin Su: He's right, gege; an unopened jar of mayonnaise has you beat. And I'm no unopened jar of mayonnaise. 

Mo Xuanyu: That shit is opened .

Meng Yao: That’s a Tinder profile quote.

Qin Su: What? 'Spicier than mayo?'

Mo Xuanyu: [half singing, half chanting] ‘My mayo brings all the boys to the yard, and they’re like-- [normal voice] this is really underwhelming.’

Meng Yao: [musing] ‘Saltier than soy sauce, spicier than mayo….’

Qin Su: Why do we always come back to food? Are our Skype calls haunted by starving Victorian ghost children? Are we possessed?

Mo Xuanyu: [mournful, high pitched, bad British accent] ‘My name is Bartholemew and I’m starving. Please, spare some mayo.’

Meng Yao: It’s your own fault if none of you bother to eat before we record. You all had the schedule.

Mo Xuanyu: [crunches loudly near mic]

Meng Yao: [falsely happy] Hey, thanks! Thank you so much, A-Yu, love the level spike on that one. Editing mouth noises out of our podcast makes my day brighter.

Jin Zixuan: [under his breath] Just...unbelievable….You all….

Qin Su: [smiling] I think we broke him.

Meng Yao: [laughing] Zixuan is limping behind the conversation indignantly, brandishing his cane….

Mo Xuanyu: [sympathetically] Awww.

Jin Zixuan: I--! I am a high powered businessman! I am trained in martial arts and archery and swordsmanship --

Mo Xuanyu: [mouth full] Oh please, gege, you’re a pod caster.

Jin Zixuan: [forcefully] I am a CEO--

[crosstalk] Qin Su: [ignoring him] I think Yao-gege is somehow the most and least intimidating out of all of us at the same time, if we're all being completely honest with ourselves and our place in the world.

Mo Xuanyu: Aww, I thought I was at least a contender!

Qin Su: Honey, you're feral. There's a difference.

Mo Xuanyu: What does a kid have to do around here to be intimidating?

Meng Yao: Learn how to chew with your mouth closed, for one.

Jin Zixuan: [indignantly] A-Yao? Are you not going to deny this?

[Brief silence]

Meng Yao: [calmly] I don't think I'm scary.

Qin Su & Mo Xuanyu: [instant uproarious laughter]

Jin Zixuan: Oh, come on! He's like...a little koala bear or something! How is that scary!

Meng Yao: [offended] Excuse me--

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [still laughing] I’m gonna pee --

Meng Yao: -- koalas have smooth brains and eat poisonous leaves all day. Are you calling me a poisonous idiot bear?

Qin Su: [wheezes] Only in private.

Mo Xuanyu: [laughter trailing off] Wait, wait, hold on. Don’t all koalas have chlamydia or something?

Qin Su: [renewed laughter]

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: [startled laugh] What?

Mo Xuanyu: Chlamydia! I think that I read--!

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: Oh my god, I think I’ve actually heard that. The plague, the bubonic plague, isn’t it? Or that--Some sort of--that disease people used to get where bits of you fall off?

Qin Su: Beheadings?

Meng Yao: [voice strangled from laughter] Yes, A-Su, that ancient disease the French Revolution that all koalas have--

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: [snickering]

Mo Xuanyu: [loud and close to mic] LEPROSY .

[crosstalk] Qin Su: Ow--

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: Holy shit--

Mo Xuanyu: It’s leprosy and you’re thinking of armadillos, da-ge. 

Jin Zixuan: [muttering] Aren’t we all….

Qin Su: [solemnly]  Armadillos and guillotines. Every damn minute of every damn day.

Mo Xuanyu: And I googled it, I’m right; koala chlamydia is a problem.

Meng Yao: And we’ve just found the title of this episode.

Qin Su: If most koalas have chlamydia, I feel like they have other problems they have to deal with.

Mo Xuanyu: Those pesky, promiscuous koalas!

Qin Su: Get them some damn sex ed! Use those eucalyptus leaves for protection!

Meng Yao: [pleasantly] That’s just about the worst thing I’ve heard all day.

Mo Xuanyu: Eugh, that menthol, though. Like Vicks for your dicks!

Meng Yao: I hate it.

[crosstalk]Jin Zixuan: [pained] PSA: don’t do that. Ever.

Qin Su: The voice of experience?

Jin Zixuan: I don’t think you actually want an answer to that, meimei.

Meng Yao: You people make me hate learning and also knowing things.

Mo Xuanyu: Also I've been looking it up and mountain lions are the ones that can have the bubonic plague.

Meng Yao: Choose your fighter; chlamydia ridden koala, leprosy ridden armadillo, or mountain lion with the Black Death.

Qin Su: Well, at least the mountain lion could inflict some damage. Use it like a poison delivery system, like an anthrax letter to secretly infect people.

Meng Yao: [patient teacher tone] ‘A mountain lion is to an anthrax letter, like a koala is to a…?’

Qin Su: [mock frustration] Oh, man, I know this one….

Mo Xuanyu: 'I can't come into school today, I got attacked by a mountain lion.'

Qin Su: [acting concerned] 'Oh my God, are you okay? Are you gonna have scars?'

Mo Xuanyu: 'Worse. The Plague .'

Jin Zixuan:  Okay, glad we got our animal infections all sorted out--back to what we were talking about. So, riddle me this--

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [delighted, Riddlemancer voice] Rrrriddle Me Piss, kids--!

[crosstalk] Meng Yao & Qin Su: NO!

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: Oh my god --

Mo Xuanyu: [laughing] I don't actually have anything today--

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: A blessing .

Mo Xuanyu: --but I'll get you next time.

Jin Zixuan: No, I need to know, genuinely, this is not a bit-- why do you think A-Yao scarier than me?

Qin Su: I mean, what's not scary about a smooth brained bear full of toxins and chlamydia?

Meng Yao: [disgruntled] Uh huh.

Mo Xuanyu: Technically, they’re not bears, they're marsupials! And I think Yao-gege is more of an armadillo--hard on the outside--

[slight crosstalk] Qin Su: --And full of leprosy on the inside. 

Meng Yao: [further from mic, keyboard tapping] 'And to Mo Xuanyu...and Qin Su...I leave... absolutely nothing, except...this bag of dog shit and...spiders…..'

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [laughing]

[crosstalk] Qin Su: Awww, A-Yu, we're being written out of his will again!

Jin Zixuan: Listeners, am I wrong? Am I crazy? He’s the size of a toddler--

[slight crosstalk] Meng Yao: [still away from mic, keyboard tapping] ‘And to Jin Zixuan...I leave--’

Jin Zixuan: He looks like a sugar glider baby that got turned into a human man--

[slight crosstalk] Meng Yao: ‘This box...of useless...tetanus filled screws….’

Qin Su: Da-ge--

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: ‘--that i...encourage him to use…--’

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [snickering]

Meng Yao: ‘As acupuncture needles.’ There. Sent to the notary. Now, what were we talking about, again?

Qin Su: Da-ge, all those things might be true--

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: [flatly] Wow.

Qin Su: But here’s a test. What would you do to someone picking on A-Yu in school?

Jin Zixuan: [immediate, sounding businesslike and slightly aggressive] I would contact their parents and set up a meeting with the school officials and make it very clear that they are never to do that again.

Qin Su: [grinning] Okay. Yao-gege, what would you do to someone picking on A-Yu in school?

Meng Yao: [calmly] Absolutely nothing you could prove in a court of law.

Mo Xuanyu: [bursts out laughing]

[crosstalk] Qin Su: I mean--

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: Uhhhh--

Qin Su: You see? Also-- [quick sing-song voice] 🎵 This is a joke, for legal reasons, this is a joke 🎵 [normal voice] He’s got that--that--

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [lingering laughter] Yeah, it's that menace. Da-ge, you’re like--you’re like if a duckling--okay, you remember when I brought you to Hot Topic? You were like a duckling at a Death Metal concert.

Jin Zixuan: [defensively] The music was so loud--

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: [pityingly] Oh, Zixuan.

Qin Su: You're like if a golf course got turned into a human. 

Meng Yao You're what would happen if you gave mac and cheese a social security card and keys to a lamborghini.

Jin Zixuan: [unamused] Okay.

Mo Xuanyu: [laughing] You're the lightly salted almonds of people. 

Qin Su: You're like a wholesome Hallmark movie fucked the concept of the suburbs.

Jin Zixuan: [unamused] Sure. Sure.

Meng Yao: You emanate the peril of a box of lethargic kittens.

Jin Zixuan: Wow. My own family. This is coming from the physical manifestation of a My Chemical Romance song--

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [smug] You say that like it’s a bad thing.

Jin Zixuan: -- and the woman who cries at the Land Before Time every time she watches it. I think this is a case of glass houses, here. Let ye who are intimidating... 

Qin Su: Oh, so we’re not roasting Yao-gege back?

Meng Yao: Not sure how me being compared to a STD riddled marsupial for about 5 minutes straight escaped your notice, A-Su, but alright. 

Jin Zixuan: I feel that you are all being...heinously short sighted, here. Are you seriously trying to tell me that A-Yu is scarier than me, a full grown man?

Meng Yao: I would certainly be more warranted in my concern about him stabbing me than I would about you.

Mo Xuanyu: Oh my God, gege, that was like 5 years ago and I already said I was sorry--

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: [loudly] What--

[crosstalk] Qin Su: Did we actually help this person? I mean--

Mo Xuanyu: We always help, jiejie.

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: Hold on--

Qin Su: We learned a lot about exactly how disturbing the animal kingdom is, but….

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: No, go back--

[slight crosstalk] Meng Yao: Dress like a middle aged accountant, share minion memes on Facebook, and buy your son a puppy so you have an excuse to talk to the dog and not people. There you go. Done.

Jin Zixuan: No, rewind--Xuanyu, you stabbed our brother? 

[brief silence]

Qin Su: [brightly] Well, that's going to do it for us today, folks--!

Jin Zixuan: A-Yu!

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: It was only a little!

Jin Zixuan: How can you stab someone a little ?! 

[crosstalk] Qin Su: Thank you so much for listening in this week--

Jin Zixuan: With what ? Why?!

Mo Xuanyu: It honestly wasn’t that bad, he made it sound like--

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: That's not an answer --

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: [begins laughing]

Jin Zixuan: A-Yao--!

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: [still laughing]

Qin Su: [brightly]  We hope you enjoyed our enlightening romp, here! We want to thank Sister Sledge for the use of the song We Are Family. A-Yu, how about that last Yahoo?

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: [farther from mic, clearly grinning] Ohhh, boy. 

Mo Xuanyu: Okay, okay--anonymous Yahoo Answers user asks….[exaggerated, desperate voice] ‘I can’t afford a freezer. Where do I put my deer meat?’

[Outro music begins quietly]

Qin Su: [laughs] I’m Qin Su.

Jin Zixuan: [sighs, disgruntled] I’m Jin Zixuan.

Meng Yao: [grinning] I’m Meng Yao.

Mo Xuanyu: [sheepish] I’m Mo Xuanyu.

Qin Su: And this has been My Brothers, My Sister, And Me! Thank you to everyone, see you next week and remember; send your trash dad straight to jail!

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Mon 14 June ‘21

Louis Tomlinson Cooks is here!! Yeah it’s 100% for sure as delightful to watch Louis make himself a sandwich as you might have hoped, but how was his cooking? Well I’ll let Louis rate himself-- “I’m not gonna lie not that appetizing is it, I mean look at it,” he says when it comes time to taste his creation, plus, “chopping peeling slicing not great to be fair- everything else I’m all right” (he’s… not wrong, even aside from the peeler issues has this man ever held a knife??) but- “it probably tastes nice though as I said it’s not about presentation for me… [munches cutely]... it’s actually pretty banging, that’s actually quite nice!” Success! Maybe it’s cause he knows the secret to faking good cooking- “as you can see I don’t have a lot of cooking ability so the more butter the better,” I mean the experts can tell you, that’s advanced stuff right there! #Louis-aChild! Substituting mustard and ketchup for coleslaw is a bit of a bold move, but in a belated attempt to convince the kiddos to eat some healthy veg even though he won’t he does bravely try the cucumber strips despite being “not really a man for cucumber” and makes a pained attempt to be positive- “bit of crunch.” Oh and speaking of crunch I’m relieved to have learned that the waffle is NOT a waffle, it’s a crispy waffle shaped bit of potato; a much more reasonable fish sandwich addition than the American version of a potato waffle! Full Time Meals polled to see what people think of Louis cooking; the two choices are “it was amazing” and “the best,” THEY GET IT. My kind of Louis poll! Helen Seamons rated him a “10/10 for effort and entertainment”, Masterchef acknowledged Louis as one of their own, and Marcus Rashford keeps it simple- “my guy” with a lil heart. YEAH, SAME.

Harry showed up in Italy, where he was papped in Venice being driven around (with PA Luis) on a boat (as you do, in Venice). He’s in a cool embroidered Bode shirt and shades and fancy hair, looking good. He’s seen carrying his suitcase, taking photos, and resting his head on his arms looking like a model. One might think, since we just saw the My Policeman cast and crew on set celebrating the wrap of the shoot, that they were done filming and Harry was off to do something different, but nope, he’s there to film! The book has key scenes in Venice that folks had been wondering about the filming of, and David Dawson is also being boated around Venice for the paps, so, it seems that was just for the wrap of the *UK* filming, which makes sense I guess since it would mostly be different crew I imagine, and perhaps some of the main cast are done as well.

Liam’s NFT sale is happening tomorrow! If you’re confused and want more info, I’M NOT GONNA HELP THAT MUCH… uh but I mean you can check out Liam’s youtube video explaining though I would guess that won’t help much (even Liam thinks so; “there’s probably websites that explain a lot better than me” he admits). There is a roundup now posted of what’s on offer for the buyers of the NFTs but I’m gonna be really honest with you, I’m more confused now than I was before. It’s clear that there are only SIX LONELY BUG NFTs right? They for sure said that I believe. But the packages for each different piece (token bundles) seem to me like they’re available to multiple buyers? Like maybe you don’t get the NFT but multiple top bidders on each get the extras? Like they can’t be selling multiple copies of the NFT... can they?! Isn’t the WHOLE POINT that only one person gets to own it? I DON’T FUCKING KNOW I AM SORRY. What I think I understand to be true: the six NFT buyers get to go to “a once-in-a-lifetime immersive dining experience at Resorts World Las Vegas” (this is the dinner with Liam and “a selection of crypto leaders from around the world” which takes place on display inside a giant glass box) and also “a bespoke commemorative presentation box containing the world’s leading holographic display... with audio... and a custom made Lonely Bug commemorative coin,” and “a unique QR code directing the owner to a special ‘Director’s Cut’ edit of the short digital film ‘Making Of Lonely Bug Collection’ which features unreleased footage from the day of the drop showing the creators' reactions when the winning bids came in” (I mean YEAH I would think it’s unreleased it literally hasn’t happened?) But then there are really a lot of other extras including tickets with Meet & Greet access to any Liam Payne headline show around the world, admission to pool and cinema parties in Vegas with Liam, signed art, non-Liam extras (I will literally bid to NOT have 20 minute phone calls with those crypto entrepreneurs PLEASE… but that’s just me), and access to an online party hosted by Liam; I really get the impression many of these, especially the last one, are just crypto tokens that are for sale that aren’t linked to the main Lonely Bug NFTs and many more than 6 people can buy them but a lot of the extras I’m not clear on which it is. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll understand better WE WILL SEE.

Liam also dropped by the discord last night to say some hellos (after a “long long day”) and that he “bought a piece of NFT art of myself tonight I’m going to give it as a prize Monday night so someone can own a piece of art that was owned by me” (an even less tangible bragging point than simply owning an NFT wow that’s an achievement) and the most important update- “I want a French Bulldog”! Oh and he said “that’s like one I did myself” in his fanart channel to a pic of a tiny crocheted illustration of Louis and Harry holding up a rainbow flag. Didya Liam?? (...Liam is crocheting??) Anyway I recognize who it’s supposed to be because it’s based on a familiar piece of fanart, but Liam definitely might NOT realize it’s meant to be someone specific, and tbh I’m more <eyeballs> at him saying that at the rainbow flag crocheted thing than at it being shippy.

Our Song acoustic version is out this Friday!! And Niall talked about NH3 some in an interview today; “I’m in the studio most days, it feels really good. I’m kinda in the latter stages of it and then I’ll go get a band together and go in and record the whole thing. I’ve just kind of been writing for the past 9 or 10 months and really enjoying it” and “It sounds like a complete album. God knows when it’s coming out because I’d like to be able to get around the world to see all the fans as well” and “It’s different. It sounds a lot more grown up. I’m 27 so it’s about time. I really wanted to kinda cement a sound. The singles I’ve released previously have all been kinda different sounds. I would like to have my ballad sound & like a cemented uptempo sound.” He and Anne Marie also talked about one of the other songs they wrote together saying, “It’s kind of like a, how do you describe it- guitar driven meets Tom Petty meets Katy Perry meets…” but say “We haven’t really decided if we are putting it out yet, the conversations are kinda happening... but it’s completely different (from Our Song).”