#i am excited for it to emotionally wreck me :)

[zehecatl]

manga (and assorted) haul!!

technically from different sources, but i got them all over this weekend, so. compiled they are

[probablysimpledreams]

You're All I Desire

(Dazai x reader: NSFW)

a/n: omfg it has been a moment since I've written a full fic but here I am !!! the idea for this one has been on my mind ALL DAMN DAY bc the Dazai brainrot has been so real lately my man <3 my man <3 my mannnnn <333 so enjoy some smut xoxo

cw: mention of masturbation (reader getting off by thinking of Dazai & Dazai getting off by thinking of reader), use of clit vibrator, gender neutral reader however reader does have female parts, Dazai refers to reader as "Bella" aka his famous Belladonna petname, Dazai eating reader out, thigh hickeys

word count: a tad over 1.6k

You mentally curse yourself as you pull up to your apartment complex, putting the car in park. After turning off the car, you and Dazai begin heading up into your apartment. Of course of all the days in the world, the day you're assigned to help Dazai with a case is the day you leave all the documents you needed to give him at home. It already took you an entire week to convince Kunikida to let you take them home so you could continue work later into the night with the comfort of your own TV and snacks right at your fingertips. If only you had woken up ten or twenty minutes earlier, then you wouldn't have been rushing out the door this morning.

"Okay they should be-," your eyes widen at the disastrous sight that was awaiting you behind the door. "FUCK ME!" you exclaim as you throw your shoes at the entranceway, Dazai's faint laugher in the background as he follows your lead. "I promise it's usually this bad," you sigh as you turn to Dazai, turning back to the mess of an apartment in front of you. This week you promised to cat sit for your friend, assuring them the cat would feel right at home in your apartment. What your friend failed to mention was their cat's love for wrecking havoc in new places.

"It's cute~" Dazai chuckles as he looks around your messy yet cozy apartment. "You have a good eye for decor," he mentions as he begins walking around the living room, giving himself a self guided tour. You smile at his compliment, trying not to show how nervous having him in your apartment makes you.

It was pretty obvious to everyone at the office that you had a little crush on Dazai. I mean, how could you not? Not only was he beautiful, but he was funny and smart and so much deeper than the persona he puts on for the world. Something deep inside wants to unravel these layers he hides himself under, both literally with bandages and emotionally with his charming nature.

You only allowed yourself to fantasize so much about him though since you were unsure what he felt about you. Sure he flirted with you almost daily, but at what point is that Dazai just simply being Dazai? You always allowed yourself to indulge in his flirting advances, but never forgot that it was just a workplace crush.

"Shit and they were right here," you sigh, palm of your hand hitting your forehead in frustration as you stand in front of your desk. Dazai looked over your shoulder, scanning the desk covered in old papers, a random book, pictures of you and your friends, and random trinket. A small smile forms on his lips as he studies these items, imaging you sitting here at night hard at work. The thought made his heart skip a beat. You were too cute for your own good.

"Time to get searching then!" Dazai exclaims, a little too excited for your liking. However, he was right as these documents needed to be found as soon as possible. You began looking around the desk as Dazai trailed off to other rooms. Too focused on finding these documents and keeping your job, you didn't may much attention to him doing as he pleased. Dazai smiled and hummed to himself as he peaked into your bedroom, admiring how your personality was so clearly visible through your decor. He couldn't help himself as he began scanning your book shelf before moving to your bed, poking the random plushies threatening to fall off your bed. He then finds his way to your nightstand, chuckling at the random assortment of things you sleep by. After scanning the small table, he raises an eyebrow at the halfway opened top drawer. Curiosity getting the better of him, he opens the drawer fully. Oh and is he happy he did.

"Phew okay Dazai I found the papers! We should get going or else-," your jaw almost dropped as you stared at the sight in front of you. Never in a million years did you image you would walk into your bedroom to find Dazai sitting on your bed, twirling your vibrator lazily in his hand. "Put that away. We're leaving."

"But I didn't get a chance to play with my new toy," he pouts.

"Dazai, I'm being serious." You try not to show how embarrassed you are, knowing it will only fuel his flames.

"So I am," he smirks as you walk towards him, trying to take the vibrator from his hands. "Tell me Bella~ Tell me all the fantasies you have of me when playing with yourself~" he teased, waving the wand around. You go silent at his taunt, face feeling flushed as you try to get words out. I mean of course you can't help yourself some nights, allowing yourself to get fully lost in the idea of Dazai touching you, pleasuring you. His name leaving your mouth in a muffled whimper as you finally find release. But he didn't know this, right? Because that would be weird. You wanted to yell at him for even thinking such nasty things, but your face gave the truth away.

Dazai's heart nearly stopped beating as he watched you fight yourself at his taunts. You usually never get this worked up over him, that's when he realizes: you actually do get off to him. His head almost exploded at the thought of you alone in your room, desiring him and only him. He was only half way kidding when he made this comment to you, not realizing you felt as much for him as he did you. He's had a full blown crush on you since you began working for the agency, but never expected his advances to go anywhere. He also was guilty of getting himself off to thoughts of you, letting desire run rapidly through his veins most nights. However, he wrote it off as another sin he will one day have to answer for. He would have never expected you to commit the same sin. The idea drove him crazy. Without thinking, he pulled you by your shirt into a sloppy kiss.

Your eyes widen as he pulls you in suddenly, but it doesn't take long for you to melt into the kiss. He helped you get seated on his lap, your body slowly grinding against his as the kiss deepened. You wrapped your arms around his neck, hands tugging at his hair as you two continued making out on your bed, like two horny teenagers. The last thing on either your or Dazai's mind was getting back to the office as you felt a familiar wetness between your legs, and Dazai's hardening cock. The two of you pull away from each other's lips, a smile on his face as you pant.

"You're easy to get worked up~" he teased, making you roll your eyes and chuckle. Even in a heated moment he was too much, and you loved him for. "Here, let me help you." He shifts where he is sitting, lowering you onto your back. Once you're comfortably laying on your back, he slides your pants and underwear off so he can begin softly kissing your thighs. You whine as his lips leave soft, teasing kisses along your flesh.

"A-aah," you shut your eyes as he bites down on your inner thigh, sucking on the skin until a dark mark is formed. He chuckles before tracing the area with his tongue, leaving more soft kisses along this sensitive area of your body. "D-Dazai....please.....please touch me," you whine, becoming impatient as he repeats this process along your other thigh.

"How could I ever say no to you, ______~" he smiled as he turned the vibrator on, immediately finding the highest setting. You scream out as the toy made contact with your clit, an amused smile spreading across Dazai's face. He began moving the wand up and down, eyes glued to the way your body trembled as the vibrations shot through your body. Your hands began gripping the sheets as you quietly moaned out his name.

"That won't do," he sighed before applying more pressure to how he was holding the wand, increasing the vibrations on your clit.

"D-DAZAI!" you exclaim.

"Much better~" he teases as he continues playing with you, practically drooling at the sight of you. You're so close to coming, and Dazai can tell. You whine as he suddenly pulls the toy away from you, head shooting up to look at him and see what on earth he thinks he's doing.

"Dazai what the f-OH FUCK," you throw your head back as his mouth makes contact with your swollen clit. You moan as his tongue swirls around, his hands gripping your thighs to keep your legs wide open. You scream a mix of curses and his name as your legs shake, Dazai's face becoming slick with your juices. It doesn't take too long until you reach your climax, pulling at his hair as your thighs practically suffocate him. Dazai doesn't slow down, making your eyes roll back in pleasure as you ride out your high. Your legs continue to shake as you try to steady your breathing, watching as he sits up to wipe his face, massive grin shining on his face.

You smile up at him, starting to sit up yourself. "We should probably actually start hea-," you're cut off by him pushing you back down on the bed with one hand as his other hand begins undoing his belt.

"Oh, Bella," he smirks, "we're only getting started~"

[wonryllis]

Holaa could you give out some smut writing tips 🤎🤎

ahh i don't think i am the most suitable person for this but i will try my best to list out some pointers that have personally helped me. if anyone has any other tips feel free to add them!

001. a generally good sense of writing: you need to have a good base in writing to be able to write smut well. though it might not always be the case but it has helped me in a number of ways.

( i ) it helped me know how to frame the sentences and how to create the mood of a particular situation. how to build up a feeling (lust) and how to show it instead of just telling it through dialogues.

( ii ) it has helped me accumulate a good level of vocabulary which helps in word building and adding emotions to my scenes.

( iii ) it has helped me gather experience with how to paragraph the story, how to place the dialogues and when and how to put emphasis on certain parts.

002. reading, reading and reading: it is the first and foremost rule of improving in any kind of writing. imagination is one thing but to know how to transform that imagination into words on a paper is something you will only ever learn from reading. it gives you an insight on how a plot can be given life.

you can have any kind of idea in your mind but if you do not have knowledge of how to turn it into a coherent and interesting story it is useless.

reading stories of the genre you are aiming to write, is one of the main things that help because then you know how to write a particular scene or something similar that you have had in your mind. and sometimes reading helps you develop new ideas.

i personally read a lot of fics on here, ao3 and a bunch of mature novels too, so it helped me understand how to write the scenes in a way that captures the audience.

003. building up your smut vocabulary: yes this is a thing. there's a whole other world of vocab when it comes to nsfw. and i realized it only after i started writing smut.

reading smut will definitely help a lot with this but you also have to simultaneously look up and learn it too because obviously you can't remember all the words just through reading. you can search up nsfw vocabulary on pinterest or google (that's what i do) and it helps quite a lot and unfortunately that's like the only way i have found till now.

004. don't get conscious: for first timers and people inexperienced with writing smut, it can be pretty nerve wrecking to write, like a feeling where someone's watching over your shoulder as you write. try not to let it get to you, remember to relax and write however it feels right for you.

005. put emphasis on what your characters are feeling. try giving a good amount of detail on what your characters feel in the moment. are they embarrassed? excited? nervous? literally anything they could be feeling in regards to what kind of plot they are in.

also put emphasis on what they are feeling through their senses, for example the scent of the cologne of their partner and how it makes them feel or any memory it holds, or the touch of their partner's fingers/skin against their own, does it feel warm and electrical? do they feel goosebumps at it? does their heart pick up it's pace at the sound of their partner's voice? does the temp or the feel of the surface they are on/against evoke certain feelings? how's the atmosphere in the room in terms of their closeness?

006. the right kind of dialogue: know what kind of dialogue to use when. if it's a smut between characters in a situation that's really emotionally intimate, the dialogue must have to be soft and loving instead of just stereotypical degrading and humiliation kink type.

dirty talk also doesn't have to be present in each and every smut scene, it can be silent as in expressed just by the sounds and the feelings.

hardcore kinks also must be used only when the situation is appropriate, like jealousy, hatred or the plot is one where one of the characters has such a sexual persona that these kind of kinks suit them.

007. imagination: smut basically lives because of your imagination and ask most smut writers where they get the plot from and it's their own self indulgent imaginations. so when you think of a good scenario, you can build up on it through your imagination. even with normal aus like let's say, roommates, neighbours, coworkers you can probably imagine what kind of smut would suit the trope and boom you have a smut scene.

008. listening to songs: good songs definitely elevate the mood and help motivate you to write. sometimes give you new ideas too so definitely recommend this!

and that's all i can think of for now. if i come up with more i will address it in a separate post in the future! forgive me if they are not that helpful, because i'm just a newbie to writing smut (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠)

[alluralater]

how have you been doing, just in general

i’m okay. tired. the past couple weeks are the first i have had since october that i haven’t felt like a constant walking ball of stress. my period is wrecking me tremendously emotionally and my roommate says it’s got to be because im finally not as stressed as i had been for such a long time. but!! i’m finally getting more than 3 hours of sleep a night which is pretty big news i think :) i’m currently fasting to let my body balance out again. hmm lemme think. oh!! i have really big personal projects in the works that i’m excited about!! ummmm i am finally beginning to take self care nights again which is really cool :) i’ve decided im going to slow down on all casual sex because it seems lately that i kind of just start like crying and having mild panic attacks when people try to do things like that with me which results in me leaving, which is definitely a resurgence of childhood trauma now that my mom and brother have passed away and i’m one of three left standing in a memory when things all began. i really think im at a point where my life is in… such a different place. i want more for myself. i see my future as something which does truly exist and more than vaguely. i feel okay, which is more than i can say i’ve felt in a very long time. in general i feel… like i’m right where the universe wants me. at least for today. and tomorrow is just— well, that’s tomorrow. the people i love are doing okay, so i’m okay.

this was not so general and i almost didn’t answer bc i don’t usually answer asks about my wellbeing but, thank you for asking <3

[colibrie]

So I

I read the Rise x Star Wars crossover

AAAASJDHSHWWHDJSHHSDJCYYAHQNEDIXUSHSNSUXYXUAMABEVEYAYSUXXJSJSNSJAKAOAKSJSHGCYDHANSBDV

Everything hurts 👍

I LOVE the way you write. The descriptions of everything from Leo's numbness, to Donnie's memories of the temple, to Mikey's real life healthy way of processing emotions, to Leo's face man persona, to Donnie's box, to Raph being Raph and taking the blame, to Krang's perspective... ALL SO GOOD. I love the connection between the twins through the force. Absolutely immaculate.

I can't WAIT to see where this goes. Inquisitors vs Jedi is inherently angsty because of the bond once shared, but you've somehow managed to make it even more painful. Incredible!

@trilobitepunch 's art also adds so much. The style matches up with the writing perfectly, and the angles are so awesome. I especially love the use of shadows from Don and Raph's helmets. And the way Krang is drawn??? Terrifying. Absolutely accurate to Star Wars style.

I'm excited to see where this will go! The brothers working their way back together as Krang breaks Raph and Donnie down further and further... I of course hope that there will be a happy ending but I now from my own writing experience that the paths to happy endings are paved with miles of angst.

I just have some questions! Are you planning for April to make an appearance? When did Donnie build 5HE-DN and does Krang know?

Anyway, thanks so much for writing this wonderful story! I eagerly await further updates, but be sure to take your time and take care of yourself! Sorry it took so long for me to get around to it

*Takes deep, professional breath*

TXJXKTKTXXKTTKXXKTXKYGKXDDTKSKTXGKXKGXKGMGXKTURSTXKKTXSURFKYSTJXYKXKTSJTKTDTDKDKTOMIGOSHOMIGOSHOMIGOSHTHAANKYOUUUUUUUUUUUU!

This made my night! Especially because I just got done devouring your writing (which has me utterly emotionally wrecked. Sincere thanks for that btw!)

I am happy you've found so much to enjoy. As my first foray into the Rise fandom, it's been tricky at times trying to blend all the parts together into a cohesive unit. But I love writing description, and in tinkering with descriptions I feel like I've slowly gotten a better grasp on who these boys are. Shockly, (likely to absolutely no one) Leo and Mikey are the easiest for me to write. Donnie is the most difficult, but lucky for me I have my own brilliant genius!

Trilo is INCREDIBLE to work with. There have been times where I have been struggling to put a scene into words, and she returns with a page or a picture or a paragraph that just instantly helps things to click. I swear, it's magic! Her command of shadows, expressions, and body language are astounding, and there have been several scenes that tripled in length because her art inspired me so much.

We've built out much of how this story will unfold, and as a fellow angst lover (and self proclaimed angst fairy), I can confirm that there is a light at the end, but the path to reach it will push all four of them to the limit.

To answer your questions:

We debated whether or not to include April. We both love her character, but we ultimately decided that we wanted to keep the cast small so we could keep the focus on the boys.

5HL-DN is the fifth in a series of droids designed by Donnie. The first one was built when he was a still a child. He is by far the most sophisticated, and the one with the most developed personality. As for the circumstances around how 5HL-DN came to be.... spoilers. I promise you'll find out.

Yes, Krang knows about 5HL-DN, but he doesn't see him as particularly important. To Krang, droids are tools. Weak and easily expendable. He's aware that Donnie built 5HL-DN and he considers Donnie's investment in 5HL-DN to be a foolish weakness, but Raph is a much better and more effective tool to hurt Donnie with so Krang mostly ignores 5HL-DN. Plus, he has his utility in keeping Krangs favorite toy in the game....

This story is a joy to write, and I'm so glad my words can do justice for @trilobitepunch 's amazing art work. This au is a labor of love on both our parts and seeing it come together to get this kind of reaction is one of the greatest feelings. We are working on the next installments as we speak, so I hope you'll enjoy those as well! In the mean time, if you or anyone else has any other questions, feel free to ask!

[for-a-longlongtime]

Yay we made it through 2023!

The end of Dec always feels hard to me; generally, I just want it to be over with so I can start with a new year. But I do want to take a moment to acknowledge the good things this year brought me.

When starting 2023, I'd felt creatively dead and emotionally empty for a good 3 years (lot of bad stuff happened). I was surprised when this silly Tiktok meme of a guy in a car with Nic Cage kept popping up and making me smile. My wife told me 'Hey, you should watch that movie, it's fun and that actor is great'. After a deep dive into Pedro's filmography (Joel really sealed the deal for me, my god) and getting sucked into this fandom with Met Gala, I eventually ended up here on Tumblr. And damn, has it been a wild ride, these past five months.

I'm so grateful for all the people I've gotten to know here, friendships that developed, the absurd amount of fic I've read, but perhaps most of all how a combination of those three things led me to write 'for fun' again for the first time in many years. Academia, medical leave, and life shit basically had stomped that completely out of my system - not to mention wrecked any confidence I had about my skills and most of my self esteem. So goddamn, it sure as hell was a surprise to suddenly find myself with all these fic ideas and then actually following through with them, thanks to everybody's support!

Over the past months, I posted Pt 1 of 'Nothing That I Didn't Know' (Frankie x Santi x reader) and I'm currently working on pt 2, which hopefully will be ready some time in the next week. I also put up snippets of a Rockford/Peña WIP that ended up becoming a much bigger storyline than I expected, and I'm really excited to start putting out proper chapters in probably Feb/March!

It's the first time that I have a group of friends (who are also writers) around me who have been so encouraging, who help me brainstorm and prod at new ideas, review my writing and give me advice, and overall just make this whole process of creation something that is fun and exciting. Especially @legendary-pink-dot, @sin-djarin, @imalrightllama, @magpiepills and @morallyinept! I can't even express in words how much your friendship and support means to me, not to mention how you're constantly helping me to become better at writing down what I want to convey - either directly through your advice, or leading by example with your own work. 💜

But even beyond the people named above, there are SO many of you for whose friendship I'm so grateful, or who I simply am so excited about to be mutuals with, or whose writing has just affected me in so many ways! I'm always worried about leaving out people by accident when I start tagging, so please, if you read this: I am grateful for knowing you and hanging out here with you here (or on Discord)! MWAH.

[fanficshiddles]

Out Of The Darkness, Chapter 19 (Final Chapter)

When Grace woke up, the first thing she realised was she wasn’t in her room. In-fact, it didn’t look like she was somewhere familiar. She panicked a little, but as soon as she sat up, she spotted Loki sitting by a window at the side of the bed and instantly her panic disappeared.

‘Loki?’

Loki’s head shot up from his book, it vanished from his hands as he rose up and rushed to her bedside. ‘Hey, petal. I’m here.’

‘How… how long was I out for?’ She asked as Loki took her hands into his.

‘Just over forty-eight hours.’

‘What?’ Grace’s eyes widened.

‘You clearly needed the rest though, it took a lot out of you emotionally and physically.’ Loki brought her hands up to his lips so he could kiss her knuckles.

Grace nodded. ‘Yeah, so it seems.’

She definitely felt better than she did before passing out. She had been an absolute wreck, but after resting she didn’t feel quite as bad for doing what she did.

‘Tell me what you’re thinking, please?’ Loki was worried that she was going to panic about being somewhere different, he was surprised she hadn’t asked yet.

‘I… I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I still feel bad that I… killed someone willingly. But, he won’t hurt me or anyone else again.’ She closed her eyes and a few tears rolled down her cheeks, in sheer relief.

Loki wiped her cheeks with his thumbs. ‘You’re right, he won’t hurt you or anyone else ever again. You are free, petal.’

‘I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you, Loki. Thank you. So much.’ Grace smiled and opened her eyes.

Loki smiled back at her, he leaned in and kissed her forehead.

‘I’m kind of surprised you’ve not asked where we are yet?’ Loki chuckled.

‘That was going to be my next question. But I trust you, Loki. I know that you only want to protect me, and wherever we are must be for a reason.’

Loki felt his heart exploding in utter happiness. Having someone trust him so much, really did mean the world to him. He’d never had that before Grace.

‘It seems that the team are regretful of what they did, however Fury isn’t so… happy about Kilgrave being killed. Or more, an asset that they could’ve used, was more his words. Fury was going to be interrogating you before you were even rested. I was going to wait until you were awake again before discussing about leaving with you, as I feel being there is no longer safe. But Clint told me about this place and gave me the key, said we can be safe here for a while until we decide on what to do… But if you want to go back, I will take you straight back. I won’t take you anywhere or make you do anything you don’t want to.’

Grace took what he said in. It didn’t really surprise her that Fury would have seen Kilgrave dying as a missed opportunity for a weapon. Like what Stark thought of him too, before-hand anyway.

She shuffled across the bed a bit more and hugged Loki tightly, he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back just as tight.

‘I don’t care what we do or where we go next, as long as I am with you, Loki. I’m free now, I don’t have Kilgrave to worry about. I just want to be with you.’ She whispered.

Loki squeezed her extra tight for a second and buried his face into her hair. Then he leaned back slightly and stroked her hair, smiling softly at her.

‘If we go on the run, I don’t know where in the Universe we will end up. Other realms are a high possibility to stay off the radar of the Avengers. I have broken my deal, if Odin finds out and I am caught, I will likely be sent back to Asgard. It means we might have to do some… unlawful things to stay under the radar.’

‘I don’t care. You’ve helped me and kept me calm and sane, perhaps I can help you now. If you need to be on the run, then we will do it. Seeing other planets wouldn’t exactly be a bad thing.’ Grace said honestly.

Though the thought was a little bit nerve wracking, it was exciting too. And she would be with Loki, which was all she wanted. All she would ever want.

‘And I’m pretty sure I’m going to hell for some of the things I’ve done before, under control and… not under control. So if we end up in hell, it won’t be so bad since we will both be there.’

Loki grinned and pressed a longing kiss on her forehead, then he pressed his forehead against hers as he held her hands again.

‘I’ll catch you if you fall, and you’ll catch me if I fall.’ Loki whispered.

‘I love you, Loki.’ Grace whispered back.

‘I love you too, Grace.’

-

Grace fell in love with the villa in Spain that Clint had let them use. But they knew they couldn’t stay there for too long. Loki got some supplies from the nearby village, of course being under disguise. He did a few adjustments to the quinjet to make sure it was suitable for far travel and living in, if need be.

They were planning on leaving in the morning, after being in Spain for a week, just relaxing and enjoying being in one another’s company. Planning and gathering supplies.

‘Are you sure you’re ready?’ Loki asked, kissing Grace’s shoulder as they bathed together. Loki had her encased between his legs, her back pressed against his chest. He was trailing his fingers up and down her arms, making the hairs on her body stand up on end from his touch.

‘I’m sure.’ She nodded, turning her head to the side so they could kiss softly.

‘Providing you give me a long lie first, if you wake me before eight then I will kick you in the balls.’ She mumbled over his lips, teasingly.

Loki chuckled and slid his hands around to her sides, tickling her.

‘I best try and let you have a long lie first then.’ He growled playfully and began nibbling along her shoulder while she squealed and giggled.

Grace and Loki knew it wasn’t going to be an overly easy and relaxing time ahead for them. They wouldn’t be able to stay in one place for longer than a month, if even that. But they were looking forward to doing it together, to being together.

To being free.  

[billyharringson]

🌟Writer Appreciation🌟

When you get this show off five of your favorite fics and five fics you like from other writers then send this to at least one other person (if you want).

Oh yay I'm gonna talk about a different 5 fics again this time (plus side of being obsessed enough to have written nearly 80 fics). I'm gonna go in no particular order again and this time in going to do a different pairing for each one.

1. Harringrove - my OG pairing and the thing that got me into this fandom. I've written a lot of Harringrove so this is hard but I'm going to go with 'Rules for survival' because I love me some mean Dom Steve and desperate Billy.

2. Mungrove - one of my favourite Mungrove fics and one I'm definitely planning on writing more of is 'it means 'to lie beneath' because adding a little fantasy/supernatural flair is always fun

3. Byergrove - whilst I've written a good deal of Byergrove I feel like I've got to go with 'take a picture, it'll last longer' because I get to emotionally destroy myself and everyone else with each new chapter

4. Harringroveson - okay so anything in the 'babygirlification of Billy Hargrove' series is something that I love but I'm really enjoying writing 'a blue eyed cat and a brown eyed boy' so we're going with that one here

5. Argilly - I've actually only written one straight up Argilly fic and that is 'a list of firsts' but I want to write more of them because they're cute

Now for the bit I'm really excited about because I get to shout out my faves by other. Also again in no particular order here we go:

1. If I swallow anything evil by sure sure on AO3. You have no idea how feral I am for this fic. Sub/Dom universe with secret sub Billy? Mutual pining? Good Dom Steve and poor self deprecating Billy? Yes please to all of this

2. 'a taste of the sun' by deathinasmalltown on AO3. Post starcourt Harringrove in the middle of summer where the boys get too hot and finally give into their desires.

3. 'King of Diamonds' by @shieldofiron was my first introduction into mean Dom Steve and I love, love, love it! The little check-ins, Billy being so desperate and also so scared of how much he wants it. So much yum

4. 'like magnets' by @pondermoniums is like the cutest, softest, sweetest thing ever and also @wrecked-fuse art that goes with it is like *screams*

5. 'To Rich for my Blood' by neveractuallyseenit is like THE Mungrove vampire fic for me. God I can't wait for the next chapter, I am chewing on drywall this thing is so good.

As you can see I'm totally normal about these fics.

[w1ng3dw01f]

Okay, I just watched season 4 episode 1 of Snowpiercer!!! I’m loving it so far! I am also emotionally wrecked, so, there’s that.

I’ve loved the show since it began. The general concept enthralled me. And the cast? Amazing! I love those characters to death!

I’ve even read the comics/graphic novels too, which are equally as cool. (I will watch the movie eventually, I promise).

Speaking of which, the moment I saw the animal symbols on those helmets, I immediately recognized them and became so excited because the show was including something from the comics but also feared what was going to happen to the characters of the show!

Anyways, I LOVE how the community at New Eden is surviving and how it’s structured, architecturally and socially!

Can’t wait for the next episode.

Actually, I need the entire season immediately!

[phantomrose96]

Hello sorry to barge in with the word vomit/ramble, just wanted to let you know that god. Oh my god. You dont know how many things you’ve uncovered in me.

I started reading like, yesterday afternoon due to an animation for this fic, dreading over the word-count. I thought I could just read a little to catch a grasp of the fic, then put it to the side when my interest dies, and then 12 hours of reading happened and now I’m sitting awake at 1 AM wondering what the fuck happened to my emotions.

Cause?? I just?? Adored it so much?? The writing is such an experience to read, you just nail every single detail that just immerses me into the current scene or event. The amount of details picked and imbedded are just enough to fully paint a picture while also not overwhelming me with information. It was a Joy to read, and shone whenever a revaluation and/or breakdown happens to a character (no plural, we know all know which one). The tension parts always shakes me over with anxiety (like the teru v ritsu 2, one of my favorites), the tiny and wholesome moments are so well described too?? You know what’s happening and you know your heart it not coming out unscathed but nope, you sit there and take the pain as now the characters are allowed a sense of comfort and you realize how much they needed it after watching their lives turn into a slow motion titanic scene.

AND THE CHARACTERS, the characterization is immaculate I swear. Its so different from what I’m used to in the best ways plus more. I love how mob is just a confused kid trying his best and reigen is just Some Guy who managed to completely tear down (or breach-) the emotional walls of every Kageyama kid in sight and just?? Let them know he’s there for them?? Let them be kids?? His interactions with Ritsu is so tragic cause Reigen will just not let go of the fact that Ritsu is fucking thirteen and does not need this much stress condensed in him (god bless burger scene, also a favorite). And Ritsu. He is so insane it makes me want to blow up a house (positive connotation). The dude is just a walking car wreck that is slowly parking at the edge of a cliff. Just the way he snaps in the most unhinged and self destructive ways makes me want to set him down in a pile of blankets, because child you are not leaving until you book a therapist appointment. Teru makes him 10x worst its comical, they just hate each other, barfs at eachothers presence but also they’d entrust their lives to the other’s no problem, what are worst enemies with slight fond attachments are for (Ritsu realizing he was manipulating Teru all along, naturally? A well aimed strike that rattled my core, incredible). Ritsu’s journey throughout the fic has been a sight to witness, from him being a emotionally stunted mess to an emotionally stunted, but now slightly considerate, mess. Character development.

This story has been an absolute delight to finish, and my thoughts will still run wild for about a week. I cannot thank you enough for writing this and sharing this to the world of ao3.

(ABoT)

fbjhfbj eating this review eating this eating this

I'm!!!! Okay to approach this in pieces.

>breakdown happens to a character (no plural, we all know which one)

we all know which one....

I'm just saying this could still be about literally ANY character named Ritsu in this story.

Also yes!!! Another Ritsu vs Teru v2 enjoyer!! I was so goddamn excited getting to that part of the story. The role inversion between Ritsu and Teru. The weight of Ritsu making this a spirit possession battle against Teru of all people, and that being why Ritsu is able to hold his own against Teru who is so much stronger than him.

And absolutely ABoT is all about the small wholesome moments, cuz each and every one of those are wrestled in tatters out of the jaw of tragedy and misery which, to me, makes them extra special. The absolute fighting tooth and nail for happiness and betterment.

>reigen is just Some Guy who managed to completely tear down (or breach-) the emotional walls of every Kageyama kid in sight and just?? Let them know he’s there for them?? Let them be kids??

yep yep yep the double-meaning of "Breach" in the title. Breach trust. Breach the barrier. The role of lies and the role of trust in that very core element of Mob's barrier.

And I really adored writing all the Ritsu and Reigen interactions because they are. just. the worst for each other. But also Reigen is who Ritsu needs. And that hard fight to save Ritsu happens in the form of screaming matches that destroy a McDonalds and the massive decimation of innocent Build-A-Bears. The burger scene is. SO near and dear to my heart.

>And Ritsu. He is so insane it makes me want to blow up a house (positive connotation).

Ritsu "Aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you wanna just go apeshit?" Kageyama. I love writing him as a foil against the Reigen and Mob plotline. Because both Reigen and Mob have been hurt, and their reponses are much more focused on how to heal themselves. Ritsu's been hurt (and Teru, too) and their responses are to lash out and hurt everything back. ABoT runs the whole spectrum of catharthis for just "You've been badly wronged. Wouldn't you just like to [heal] [have someone who cares] [seek revenge and destroy the world which destroyed you]?"

>(Ritsu realizing he was manipulating Teru all along, naturally? A well aimed strike that rattled my core, incredible)

I deeply loved writing the Teru and Ritsu plotline just every step of the way. And the hardest part was writing all the build up knowing the role-reversal was coming without tipping my hand--the part where Ritsu would surpass Teru in awfulness, where it would become Teru desperately clinging to morals and trying his hardest to stop Ritsu. And this all starts with the pivot in ch31 as Ritsu realizes he IS in a position to take advantage of Teru... because Teru sees him as a friend.

fkjfdnkjfddf thank you for this review! I'm eating it I'm eating it. You're talking about so many of the things that make me feral for this story and why I wrote it in the first place. It's the trauma it's the healing it's the character development it's the character regression it's the beating your bestie to death on a soccer field it's the taking a traumatized kid to get ramen it's the mindless destruction of a Build-A-Bear Workshop it's the manipulation it's the trying to do better it's the idea that self-sacrifice doesn't actually save the people around you who need you it's the different ways tragedy affects people it's the lighting a corpse on fire then slashing your own throat it's the adopting a kitten named Socks it's the corruption it's the possession it's the cursed Jade Statue that just follows you everywhere for no reason

[allylikethecat]

I'm always rooting for Matty and George in every fic but honestly I hope Matty doesn't just take George back because George is making this grand gesture by flying to see him. Like their relationship hasn't been that healthy at all really and idk if they're actually good for each other right now? From Matty's perspective this must all be so confusing, George has been all over the place with icing him out at first, then being all over him, then throwing it all away and now he's just going to turn up unexpectedly? And there's all the emotions of losing George and now the prospect of losing Sally (writing that ad had to have been one of the hardest things he's done ph my GOD) I just want to hug him. I'm so excited to see where you take this story, I know whatever ending you go with will be amazing💙

AHHH Thank you so much for reading ATKH and taking the time to send me this ask! I'm so grateful that you're reading and for the continued support. You might be on to something here 👀

Fictional!George is very much into the IDEA of Fictional!Matty rather than fictional!Matty as a person and he's been getting jerked around emotionally as a result. Because Fictional!George was pretty awful to him to start, he was extremely cold and unwelcoming when Fictional!Matty was just looking for a friend (and lets not forget, he gave him bad information about a horse so that he would get bucked off which lead to him getting a concussion ... was it KARMA that that same horse was the one to break Fictional!George's shoulder?)

Then he was obsessed with Fictional!Matty and love bombed the shit out of him and didn't give him a moment to himself or take what he wanted into consideration and THEN instantly turned on him and accused him of stealing drugs.

Poor Fictional!Matty needs a hug, though not from Fictional!George and we will see how he reacts to Fictional!George showing up unexpectedly in CANADA after WEEKS of radio silence at a HORSE SHOW which Fictional!Matty had already expressed was going to be extremely nerve wrecking and stressful for him considering his history with showing- not to mention it's brutal physically (when I had Pop and Red I only brought both of them to one show once I was so tired after trying to show two horses - idk how the pros show MULTIPLE every day often times multiple in the same class! I am strictly a one horse per show girlie) and he was already having issues with his back again before he left...

You're 100% spot on though writing and posting that sale ad was one of the hardest things Fictional!Matty has ever done (it's up there with cutting ties with his mother and checking himself into rehab) and he is absolutely wrecked that he has to sell her, but doesn't have any other options. Despite being paid extra to be traveling this summer after the hauling fees / show fees for bringing Sally with him in the first place he has like four dollars in his bank account. He's borrowing money from his Dad for the plane ticket TO the UK, and he finished his blue raspberry vape ages ago but can't bring himself to throw it away. He is struggling.

Thank you SO MUCH for sending me this ask and for reading and the continued support and just being so all around lovely! I hope you continue to enjoy this fic and that you are having the best Sunday and a wonderful rest of your week!

❤️Ally

[yinyuedijun]

Hiii ! bluebird anon here again! Ik it’s been a while, I’ve been super busy lately but seriously still cannot get bluebird out of my head. Not to be annoying but do you have any clue when you might be posting chapter 2 of it? You said you have it drafted the last time I asked, which is sooo exciting!!! Sorry to bother again but seriously it’s such a masterpiece, and my friends are so tired of me talking about it. Seeing spam in the grocery store never gets any better and I am always reminded of the story. My dad recently ended up buying me a pack cuz I seem “very interested” in it whenever I pass by it in the store. Little does he know… :( I saw a pack of ramen today with Sapporo on it and was once again taken back to the gorgeous story. And have I talked to you about the incredible world building?? Of course I have! But I can never stop mentioning it. Seriously thank you so much for the story, it means a lot to me. I can’t explain that I’m so weirdly emotionally attached to it. But anyway! I love the whole campaign that you have for raising funds for the Palestinian families. My family knows someone whose family is stuck there. So it seriously means a lot to me to see this cause. Also, my question is that would you continue with bluebird as a part of this campaign? If people donated and requested it, would you be willing to complete it??

Sorry for the long rant <3 hope you’re having a great day!!

hi oh my goodness anon T_T thank you so much for the endless kind words and enthusiasm over bluebird, it means a lot to me and I smiled so much hearing about your emotional grocery trips (and your dad buying you canned spam!!!! how sweet!!!). i can't emphasize how much it means to me that you are so attached to the fic, and I am so very sorry that I haven't posted it despite saying like 5 times that I would 😭 I just really do get the sense that the themes of chapter 2 (which deal heavily with teenage sexuality, and offscreen mentions of csa) won't bode well for me on this website like I joke about getting cancelled a lot but there are writers who have either received doxxing threats or been actually doxxed over these topics fHRGLSHDSKJ so you can imagine my hesitation surrounding it.

however! I do think I'd probably post it for fics for gaza and have been considering it. (and thank you for being so supportive it, aleks and kae have done such a wonderful thing by creating it 🥹) I would definitely value material aid for gaza more than my stress levels relating to tumblr dot com drama lol. all I would wonder about is the sponsorship rate because it is 14k words and that's uh... $140 dollars which doesn't feel like a realistic goal HAHAHAHA not to say anything else of the rest of the story which would probably take like 100k words to get through because I'm a wreck that way 😭

[fahye]

In March of last year, I had been on the library waitlist for A Marvellous Light for monnnnnths and then my hold was finally available—exactly one week after I had top surgery! AML was such a perfect, warm, beautiful thing to read while I recovered. Thank you for sending me Robin and Edwin to keep me company as I entered a new and joyful phase of my life. They’ll always have a special place in my heart for being my companions in that moment. (also as someone with an early November birthday, I’m loving these unintentional birthday gifts last year and this year—genuinely I’m 10x more excited for APU than I am for my own birthday! Hawthorn gave me Potential Fave vibes in AML and he sealed the deal in ART and I’m so ready for him and Alan to wreck me emotionally) 

Your books seem to have impeccable timing in my life, which maybe isn’t all that surprising because they’re impeccable in every other way too! Neither AML or ART has an assigned spot on my bookshelf—there wouldn’t be any point in putting them away, because of how often I pick them up, turn to a random point, and read a section or chapter just to savor it. I’ve never done this with a book before, but I love reading them out loud to myself. Your prose is so beautiful and melodic, and it’s so satisfying to read it aloud and feel the rhythm of it. There’s something so tangible and sensory-rich. I love the characters and the story with my whole heart, but god my little literary analysis brain gets an Edwin-level of joy from examining how you’re weaving such beauty with each sentence 

I can't decide which is the most affecting, lovely part of this: the fact that my books & characters can be part of such an important time in your life (congrats on the top surgery!), or the fact that you appreciate the rhythm of the prose. I am always writing with an ear to the rhythm of my paragraphs and it means so much to me when other people connect with it on that level.

I hope that APU can be everything that you hope for. happy birthday in advance!

[sagesariadnd]

Please Watch March on Faewunder. I Just Think It's Neat.

I'm waiting on a few things before I start posting pictures like I promised, so in the meantime, I have a recommendation if you're looking for a D&D actual play show that isn't one of the Big Three.

I've fairly recently started dipping my toes into the World of Io, a collection of streamed short campaigns set in the DM's homebrew world of, well, Io. I started with, and am still in the middle of, March on Faewunder. I started it because my current parasocial squish Tom Fawkes is in it, and I'm sticking with it for some of the most wholesome and funny roleplay I've ever seen. A warning now that the following is an unhinged infodump about how much I love this campaign, but I promise a link is at the bottom!

Highlights include:

Actually streaming session zero! I don't know if other shows have done this, but it's the first time I've seen it and found it really cool to see the process in action. This includes an introduction to Io's history and world makeup and answering the players' questions about it, so it's great for onboarding new viewers because they don't have to have watched the other campaigns. Plus, hearing the players talk about the kind of characters they were making made me immediately excited for the campaign and the dynamics within the party, which was clearly the case for the people watching too because there was fanart literally that night.

Mark Hulmes - the host of High Rollers...you know, that actual play show that did the one-shot with the Baldur's Gate 3 cast last year - playing a half-lagomon paladin with the energy of DiC dub Sailor Moon. Yeah that's right, a grown-ass man is shamelessly playing his ideal bunny girl waifu and nobody judges him for it because Gloria is a precious cinnamon roll and must be cherished.

A southern belle dhampir ranger named Vidalia whose parasol is both a sword and a gun...crossbow...thing. Also she's a swarmkeeper ranger and her swarm is birds! Used to be corvids, now I think it's hawks. And she's the sweetest damn person you'll ever meet and doesn't even hide that she's a vampire.

An elf bard named Pandora who got her name literally because her player thought it was fun to say in her character voice, and she says it to herself in character when she's anxious. She's also a vampire hunter who's afraid of birds.

Disclaimer: Pandora is an emotional wreck of a character with a heart of gold and she WILL make you cry at least every other session.

Did I mention those three are totally in an awkward disaster lesbian cuddle puddle? Cause they totally are. Vidalia even calls Gloria 'hunny bun' and it's the most adorable thing in the world.

Hey, you wanna have lots of emotions about skeletons? Well Tom has you covered with Ribeye, the skeleton bard who wants to be a chef! (Gee, DM, how come your mom lets your campaign have TWO bards?) Don't be fooled by his punny name or his Ed Wynn voice, this skeleton will fuck you up emotionally almost as much as Pandora. This youtube funnyman has made his fellow players wail loudly into the microphone like Rocky freaking Lockridge.

And you wanna know why there's so many emotions about skeletons? Well for one thing Tom's just really good at roleplaying but the big catalyst is that neither Ribeye in character, nor any of the players out of character, know Ribeye's HP. The DM just tells him if he gets knocked out. The DM rolls his hit dice for him. And he can't be healed by normal healing magic, only necromancy. Yeah uh...nobody in the party can cast necromancy. They found a backup, but it's VERY temporary and the DM plays the game HARD. Your butt WILL clench every single time Ribeye takes damage. The party's butts sure do. No really, it's genuinely sweet how hard they all work to protect their skelebro.

I feel bad that I don't have a lot to say comparatively about the last member, the changeling monk Kagami. I think he's just along for the ride. But he's there, and he's as badass as a monk should be, and he's the source of a good few funny moments, including the ever optimistic statement "I haven't exploded yet!" (no you don't get context, watch the show) and the pure D&D energy of spending all your money on a stupid carnival prize because it's so ridiculous you just HAVE to have it. It even comes in handy, how the heck did that happen???

If you like crafting, Faewunder has you covered with all sorts of fun homebrewing! Every long rest is an adventure! Ribeye whips up all sorts of fun dishes and names them! Kagami supes up everyone's weapons and armor! Pandora desperately tries to keep up the supply of potions Ribeye can drink! The DM has a chart of all sorts of fun buffs they can unlock and put on their gear, so long as there's time to make it. It takes up a decent chunk of the sessions, but the party makes it work through...

Camp RP! Banter and sharing feelings around the campfire almost every long rest, including the ones that come from just travel time with nothing happening! I've never seen a party so willing to share their feelings with each other and they're so delightfully close, even if Kagami's still keeping things close to his scarily muscular chest at the moment.

Intense combat with some of the wildest luck (or usually lack thereof) I've ever seen on a VTT. I thought it was roll20 that hated us, who kicked Foundary's dog???

Crazy fae shit

Fucked up trees! Every DM needs to have at least one fucked up tree encounter.

Fun with voice modulators!

Distinct and lovable NPCs!

A disclaimer that the NPCs will never flirt with the PCs unless the PCs initiate. That's just a good rule of thumb to have in a DM-player dynamic! I mean, check that the DM is comfortable with it too, but really I'm just sad that 'not sicing a horny NPC on my players' is noteworthy.

A channel in the Io discord exclusively for rules lawyering, so the DM can receive feedback on goofed up rules (or ignore the ones from people who forget his houserules) without them cluttering up the twitch chat or distracting him from running the game! Now THAT'S innovation, y'all!

Fanart every night, and bingo cards that the DM fills out with the chat!

The DM is a racoon wizard! Seriously, how can you say no to that?!

Anyway it's really good, and if any of this sounds appealing the playlist is below. It's a relatively short campaign - 13 sessions averaging around three hours apiece. I'll definitely be checking out the rest of the Io campaigns after I finish Faewunder, but I feel like it's gonna be hard to top this group.

[rhodeybugg]

God I am suffering from so much overstimulation.

Episode 6 WRECKED me emotionally, im still reeling from that, but it also gave me a BUNCH of ideas for my Star-Crossed, Solver Bound series, I'm still harbouring excitement from my current playthrough of and hyperfixation on Lisa: The Painful, I wanna draw V and draw more cards for Before The Dawn as I work on it, but today is the day I move into my college dorm and im doing a bunch of stuff with friends and i'm just: SCREAMS.

[kwonzoshi]

Weekend Watch Recap

Big Dragon Ep. 7:

This episode was so freaking cute. Like literally tugging at all of my heartstrings. The date montage? END ME NOW. I was WRECKED in a good way. This next episode is going to end me in the worst way, and I am not emotionally prepared. Especially with the way this one ended. Mangkorn better sit his ass down and NOT accept that shit.

GAP The Series Ep. 1:

Mon is just like me FR. Loved the episode and I am excited for the next one. Don’t have much to say other than the styling is so EXPENSIVE. I loved all of the outfits. I just know this show is going to make me all giddy and excited.

Between Us Ep. 3:

Y’all... these two are KILLING ME. Literally. Win is such an incredible partner and I know he’s going to help Team not only deal with his trauma but mature along the way too. Him going into protection mode? And just doing what he can to care for Team? I eat that shit UP. Next episode is going to wreck me, I can already tell.