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ryosmne · 3 years

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Tattoo Artist! Sukuna x reader (part 3)

Hey there again, I had a few ideas of where i wanted to take the third part, I'm very happy with what I came up with, it's very very fluffy, I hope you have a good time reading 💜.

Series masterlist here

Here's a playlist for fluffy Sukuna

Warnings: Language, suggestive tones, alcohol consumption (everyone is of age here, around 21/22), nudity? Not really described, that's about it.

Saturday was slow for Sukuna, he doesn't really like working away his weekends, but here he is, finishing up a chest piece that looked good if he had to say so himself. Everything was luckluster to him compared to the project he was still drafting for y/n.

Speaking of her she hadn't texted him all day, neither did Sukuna. He told himself he wasn't clingy like that, she texted him before she would do it again surely. Y/n didn't pay much mind to him not making contact, perhaps he was busy. She wasn't wrong, she also had initiated most of their text conversations, she didn't want to seem desperate. Sukuna was going to contact her when he was free.

On the other hand Sukuna was stressed, passing in the hallway between the reception and his work booth, checking his phone every once in a while, he was a bit snappier than usual, not letting Gojo's or Megumi's remarks go, he would answer back, his voice almost dripping with venom, he was very much pissed and it showed.

When closing time finally came he was ready to blow up, Gojo teasing him, only made him more agitated. Gojo knew something was bothering him and he wasn't planning on dropping the subject.

"Hey 'kuna, tell the truth, you took her out and she left because she couldn't stand you, that's why you're so mad."

The white haired man joked, you could see the smoke coming out Sukuna's ears.

"Don't call me that. For your information, me and y/n had a great time, quit being an bumbass I'm not mad." Y/n did enjoy herself right? It sure looked like it. Was Sukuna getting insecure? Yes. Could everyone tell he was lying about not being mad? Also Yes.

"Oh so it's 'you and y/n' now? You were right Geto, he's got it real bad, he's not even calling her 'some girl' or something."

Gojo continued to laugh, he was enjoying every single second of torment he was putting Sukuna through.

He had enough though, he grabbed his jacket and his keys, but just before he left the rest of his crew and Yuuji, who came to eat with Megumi to close, he called to the most rational person inside. "Geto, come on I'll drive you home." Sukuna needed someone to talk to, he needed to know he was in the right and not going totally insane. Nanami was really close to him but relationships wasn't a topic he would really touch on. Gojo was out of the question, the man was a womaniser, not that it was a bad thing but he wouldn't even take Sukuna seriously, he only wanted to annoy him for the time being. Megumi was also a no. He would spill the beans to Yuuji, he already had Gojo on his ass he didn't need two more idiots making fun of him, one was barely tolerable. That only left Geto, who has at least had a few solid relationships and he was trustworthy enough not to give him too much shit.

Geto grabbed the chance not to have to clean for one night, but he was very curious about Sukuna's sudden move to give him a ride home, he has never offered that before. Yuuji had tipped him off, he knew his brother wanted to get all of the attention, if y/n didn't make a move, his brother would go insane. He was surprisingly right, so Yuuji told Geto to try and get his brother riled up. Now Geto didn't exactly agree, but he wanted to give Sukuna a friendly nudge to the right direction.

Sukuna had already been driving for a little while, he couldn't find the courage to open his mouth and talk. Has he gone mad? Its not like he's clueless about girls, he's had many. Why was it different this time?

"So how come you wanna drive me around at night?" The raven haired man asked, eyebrow raised, ready to hear what his friend was so on edge for all day, even though he had an idea. Sukuna wasn't one to share feelings, he never did, he couldn't really tell anyone the reason why not a single word from y/n all day irked him so damn much. "Look, so let's say there's this girl right? You take her out, you have fun, everything is cruising perfectly, but then she doesn't really talk to you the next day." He said with a small pause "hypothetically speaking" He added, just to avoid further questions.

Geto looked at him with a blank face, although he couldn't really believe in his ears, Yuuji was right, he knew his friend was falling face first, it still surprised him. He saw the day that Sukuna was stressed for a girl, if someone told him even two weeks ago that this was going to happen happen, Geto most definitely would've laughed straight in their face.

"Well it depends really, for example did you text her and she didn't answer? Then yeah, she's not interested, but maybe she's busy, or she started texting first and she wants you to initiate." Sukuna blinked "You're right she's busy, she has a test too, maybe she has been studying, she'll come around." He said, the words came fast out of his mouth. Geto looked at him again more serious this time. "Look man, I know for a fact, you haven't texted first, you seem to really like her, don't be a pussy and send her one text." His tone was equally serious. "I'm just fond of her, that's all she's good company." Sukuna tried to brush him off, Geto wouldn't budge. "Call it what you want, I know you like the feisty ones, so do many people and you know how college kids are, one party is all it takes to lead to who knows what. Man up, when you do you can bring her around the shop too, you know we all would love to meet her." By the time Geto finished his sentence, Sukuna had already parked outside of his apartment to drop him off, they shared their good nights.

For the rest of his lonely drive home Sukuna couldn't help but think of that party his brother mentioned a couple nights ago, was y/n going to be there? And Geto's words kept replaying in his head.

Geto was smiling to himself walking inside his apartment knowing he did the right thing giving his friend a slight push.

With her hair just the way she liked it, her make-up done and an outfit that extenuated her best features, y/n was making her way down the street to meet up with Mai outside of Todo's place. The walk wasn't too long and y/n caught a glimpse of her short haired friend, who was also dressed to impress, standing right out of Todo's door.

"You didn't wait long did you?" Y/n asked, Mai smilled and shook her head, she was the late one most of the time, she did make it just a second before y/n arrived.

"Let's go, my sister and Nobara are waiting" she informed y/n, who nodded. "Really, I haven't seen Maki in a while, Nobara rarely shows up in class too." She said full of excitement, the girls were friends for a long while, even before college. Mai and y/n ended up forming closer friendship.

"Yeah they're about to remind us of how single we are." Mai loved her sister with all her heart, she was very competitive though and when Maki got with Nobara before Mai could strike up a boyfriend in college, she took it a bit personally. Then she focused her attention on finding someone for y/n, but that never went well. Hopping right up the stairs both girls were talking about what they would see tonight, more accurately who. "So Yuuji is probably going to be here, I asked Todo" Mai said her eyes hopefull, y/n rolled her's and her companion didn't let it go unnoticed. "I really don't get you, he's cute, you even said so." There she goes again, but y/n wouldn't let it slide this time. "You seem way more giddy to see him, than I do." She said, knocking on Todo's door who was waiting right behind it, answering in seconds. Mai was still dumbfounded, she hardly acknowledged Todo at the door and made her way inside with y/n.

Thankfully the sofa on Todo's living room they usually sat on was only occupied by Maki and Nobara. "Wow sis you made it on time for once without someone dragging you out the house." Maki hugged her sister tightly, "I didn't really have a choice, y/n said she would go home if I was late again." Mai, said with a bit of a whine. Nobara went for y/n. "She's giving you hell huh?" Her comment made the girl laugh. "Nah she's fine, she can be a bit of a baby." That line made Mai slap her arm playfully, even when they made digs at each other, it was all in good fun.

Y/n could see Mai out the corner of her eye scanning the room, it wasn't unusual for her to do that, but it was the fourth time the past 30 minutes they've been here. Something was definitely up with her, and when she raised her hand having finally spotted the one she was looking for, y/n was a hundred percent sure of what was going on.

"Yuuji, over here" Mai called hand in the air, a very friendly smile on her face. Yuuji eagerly walked over offering his greetings, his attention was on y/n "Hey, has my brother texted you at all?" That was an out of the blue question. Mai gave her a look "His brother?" She questioned, then looked back at Yuuji "You've got a brother?" Why did he have to say that infront of Mai, she wouldn't leave her alone until she told her everything about the guy, she was at least thankful he didn't mention a date, Sukuna probably hadn't mentioned anything to him. "Oh yeah, he's the one I went to last week and no Yuuji he hasn't, did something happen?" Mai stayed silent, so did the other girls, they planned on interrogating her later, judging by the looks they exchanged. "Oh it's nothing" Yuuji let out a breathy laugh, knowing he plotted with Geto to get under his brother's skin. Payback for the bagels he baked at 4 am was going to be sweet.

Yuuji took a seat next to Mai, who introduced him to her sister, Nobara already knew him short of and the two of them begun chatting casually. Y/n could see the chemistry between them as he complimented the dark haired girl on the way she looked tonight. She could see their eyes meeting, something more than friendliness resided in the looks they shared.

Y/n let her friend have her fun, at this point Maki and Nobara had adopted her taking shots, talking about the annoying situations that have occurred in the time they hadn't seen each other. Nobara in particular, was sharing her frustrations about men not taking her seriously as Maki's significant other and continuing to make moves on her partner. "I shut them down" Maki said proudly snaking an arm around her girlfriend's waist. "I know you do, I just want them to feel a bit threatened" Nobara's eyes drifted to the floor . "What are you talking about? Remember the time you just looked at that guy eyeing her and he mouthed 'sorry'? You're very threatening." Y/n took another shot laughing with the two girls. Her comment was quite comforting to Nobara and Maki knew that things always went Nobara's way, she just liked complaining sometimes, she was the jealous type.

Todo with Takada in hand, who arrived right after y/n and Mai, answers his door again for the multipluth time this evening, seeing the last person he expected. "I thought you were too old for house parties" he taunted at the grumpy man infront of him. "Screw you I'm 26, and I didn't come empty handed" Sukuna spoke, his tone getting a bit friendlier at the last words in his sentence. He passwd the two bottles of vodka he held to Todo. "Well come on in, Yuuji's brother is also mine" he said giving the pink haired man a friendly hug.

Sukuna's eye scanned his living room untill his eyes landed on the back of y/n's head, he headed straight her way.

Y/n heard a few girls around her making a fuss over some apparently really hot guy who just entered, but she didn't bother turning around. That was until she heard it "Huh, who would've known, you actually have friends" That voice was unmistakably his. Sukuna was here. Y/n's heart was fluttering in her chest but the alcohol in her system made it easy to come up with a comeback. "At least I don't pay mine to hang around me." She said, her voice laced with sarcasm, she still didn't turn to face him, she was frozen in place. Mai's, Maki's, Yuuji's and Nobara's eyes were wide and dancing between the two. There was for sure something going on here. Sukuna took a seat beside her casually draping an arm around the back of the sofa. "You're hurting my feelings doll, I'm not that bad" he spoke so softly, she almost got lost looking into his eyes. He looked way too good for her liking, same jewelry and eyeliner as the last time she saw him, his pink her strategically messed up, a silk black button down with the top two buttons undone, exposing his defined collarbones and the tattoos that extended to his chest and neck, black pants framing his thighs perfectly as he sat. Y/n was staring at this point, her friends were silent, taking in the image that was displayed before them. They had never seen y/n flustered or having difficulty forming words. Even Yuuji was surprised, seems like he was wrong about y/n's taste.

Sukuna was enjoying the look on her face a little more than he cared to admit, he would've taken his teasing further, but he didn't want to embarrass the girl anymore and her friends were already shocked. "Aren't you going to introduce me?" He asked her poking her cheek, and y/n could see Nobara was about to blow up.

"Right, Mai, Maki and Nobara this is Sukuna, he's um my tattoo artist?" What was she even supposed to say at this point? The guy she went on a date with and had the best make out session of her life?

Sukuna gave his hand out to the girls greeting them, he noticed his brother a few seats over who was concealing a laugh "you're here too brat" he briefly egnowledged him, Yuuji hummed back a hello in return, turning to Mai who was very eager to hear the details of y/n's and Sukuna's relationship, he sure as hell didn't look like just her tattoo artist.

"Tattoo artist? Really? you don't even have tattoos y/n" Nobara spoke, she just wanted her friend to be honest with her, if she had someone special, she could have said so, they've known each other for years. Sukuna wasn't surprised to hear that y/n hadn't shared that she got tattooed, he could tell she was a bit of a private person.

Y/n took off her jacket that she still had on from when she arrived, to show off the design to Maki and Nobara, Mai had already seen it and she was busy gossiping with Yuuji anyways. "Right, I forgot to tell you" she said, as Maki and Nobara scanned her upper arm with their eyes, so did Sukuna. He couldn't help himself, y/n looked so beautiful in his work. He wanted to cover every inch of her skin she was willing to give him, she could be his personal work of art, she already was one, but he wanted to decorate her in the best way he could and with the most beautiful art he could make. "That looks so beautiful" Maki spoke in awe, Nobara gave a little laugh "it's creepy, but it's really you. "

She took a look at Sukuna then back at y/n "It's very fitting, I don't know how to explain it." She continued.

Sukuna never took compliments that seriously, but hearing y/n's seemingly bitchy friend praise his work and the perception he had of her made him grin widely.

The four of them continued to speak, Maki and Nobara were very interested in Sukuna's line of work, Mai and Yuuji also took their turns in talking when they weren't too busy with one another. Y/n's friends were doing great with Sukuna, she thought he would be really difficult, he has a very explosive personality. Sukuna was putting in all the effort to make a good impression, both to y/n and the ones around her.

"So, did you miss me that much you came to find me?" Y/n asked once the attention was taken off of them. Mai looked to be having a deep conversation with Yuuji whereas Maki and Nobara got up to dance. "And if I did?" Sukuna spoke, his face dangerously close to hers, when did he manage to get hip to hip with her? Then again y/n had grown so comfortable around him, she didn't notice.

"Well, if that's the case, I'm glad you did come." She replied, Sukuna could tell she was a bit tipsy, else he would be making out with her on that sofa not caring who was watching.

Y/n poured herself another drink, thank god she didn't have to get up to get a refill, but Sukuna's voice stopped her movements. "Maybe you should ease up there" he said watching her fill two cups.

Y/n raised a brow at him "since where are you a party pooper? come on it ain't a party without a drink" her voice was playful as she tried passing one cup to him. Sukuna liked this y/n too, she was a bit more giggly, she smiled a bit more, "I'm driving sweetheart". Y/n was satisfied with his answer and proceeded to gulp down on both the cups she filled before Sukuna could stop her. She laughed pointing at him with her tongue out "too slow". Sukuna could only smile and pat her head. She was something else.

Somewhere along the night, Maki and Nobara disappeared and so did Yuuji and Mai. "You better tell your brother to take good care of my friend" y/n's state was getting worse, or more hilarious, it depended on how you looked at it. Sukuna would straight up laugh with some of the things she said, and he was trying his best to keep all forms of alcohol away from her, for her own good. "I don't think you should worry, Yuuji is much better than me in these kinds of things." He replied honestly, but y/n didn't necessarily see it like that. "There's no way he's that smooth" she trailed, the corners of her lips tugging upward. "Well if I didn't know any better, I'd say you liked me, didn't you think I was a dick?" Sukuna asked "Still do" her smile only grew wider.

One thing was for sure, y/n was very demanding when drunk, Sukuna left her side for the first time all night to get her some water, cause she felt 'like SpongeBob under that lamp drying out'. Not even slightly bothered by her request, Sukuna was on his way back to her, that's when he saw some guy standing infront of her trying to talk to her. Y/n even in her not very conscious state didn't tolerate people who didn't respect her "Just one song, come on it won't hurt, you're alone after all" the guy, y/n didn't care to catch the name of said "look, I don't dance, not unless the company is worth it, and I'm here with someone, leave me alone, this is getting annoying" Sukuna observed laughing to himself. He didn't feel the need to intervene yet. Y/n didn't like getting bossed around that's for sure, nor did she need a knight in shining armour to protect her, not that he would mind doing that. Sukuna casually sat down beside her again, ignoring the guy who was still standing there for some reason. That irritated him, it was enough that he tried to make a move on her, but not leaving while he was right there rubbed him the wrong way, "Here you go sweetheart" He said handing her the glass, praying that she won't drop and break it, he threw a glare at the guy who finally took the hint and left. "Thank you 'kuna." Y/n spoke, in a tone totally different from the one she had moments ago.

The nickname alone made his heart jump. Gojo was quite annoying when he called him that, but hearing the same word rolling out of y/n's tongue was completely different. Sukuna couldn't tell why he was feeling that way, he didn't care though, all he knew was that even the air smelled sweeter, when he was around her.

"You don't dance unless the company is good?" He asked, genuinely curious "well yes, if I feel comfortable I'll dance, but I don't really do it that much" she said, eyes heavy looking all over Sukuna's frame. " I see, how about we dance?" Sukuna suggested, he rarely danced himself, y/n made him want to get out of his comfort zone, hell he's already at a house party thanks to her.

"Only if you take some shots with me." She smilled at him malevolently. "You're playing dirty, who's going to take you home if I'm drunk?" Sukuna just wanted to hear her drunken logic "It probably takes a bottle for you to get drunk, you're clumsy, drunk or not, you're probably going to kill me if I get in your car".

Sukuna was full blown laughing, but she was right, her head was still not gone, she could walk and talk fine, she was just more talkative and cheerful, couple of shots wouldn't hurt, he could walk her home after since she lived close by, he remembered the way and then walk back home himself. She also gave him the cutest look he'd ever seen, how could he deny her?

"Ok you win" he raised his hands in defeat and y/n couldn't be happier. She poured 4 shots for them, which they quickly consumed and they were off to dance.

She never pictured him as a dancer, y/n saw Sukuna as the very cool looking dude standing on the bar, probably drinking whiskey with a bit of ice.

Looks can be deceiving, Sukuna was spinning her around, their bodies were pressed together, guiding each other to the beat. Eyes were meeting, body heat was exchanged, they fit like puzzle pieces even like this. Y/n kept looking at the exposed skin of his neck, why did he have to look like that and be this close, her face only grew warmer once her eyes met his and then dropped to his lips. Its not that Sukuna didn't want to kiss her, he would most certainly prefer her to be sober and remember it clearly the next day.

Those last two shots y/n had, in addition to Sukuna's body against hers, made her vision a bit blurry and her knees weak. "Hey doll, everything ok? You with me?" He shook her lightly by the shoulders, he could tell she was growing tired and he noticed how her demeanor changed. "Mhm, I'm sleepy 'kuna" there she goes again, making his heart skip beats. Y/n would be giving him so much shit had she realised she made him feel like that. "Ok then, how about we take you home ?" Sukuna's voice was so mellow, almost like he was talking to a toddler.

He guided her out of the crowded house, Todo was nowhere to be found, so Sukuna couldn't really let him know he was leaving.

Y/n was leaning on him, walking slowly down the street towards her place, but she abruptly stopped and sat down.

"What's wrong?" Sukuna asked, his sound as mellow as before. She was down right adorable, sitting there with a pout of her face .

"My feet hurt" y/n complained, dramatically throwing her arms around, if it was any other person Sukuna would've droped them to fend for themselves. "Really? That's sad" he replied, dropping down to her level, she only nodded, women's shoes are the most uncomfortable thing in the world. Sukuna scooped her up in his arms and carried her bridal style the rest of the way, he couldn't have her complaining and it wasn't like she would remember much either. With her arms wrapped securely around his neck, y/n could feel the warmth creeping up her neck all the way up to her ears, she didn't see the satisfied smile Sukuna wore.

Today went a lot better than he expected. So well that the tiredness got to y/n before they reached her apartment. Sukuna watched as she fell asleep in his arms. What a strange girl, she had both shyness and attitude, she was dancing her heart out no more than 15 minutes ago yet she still managed to fall asleep as he carried her.

Reaching her building, luckily the main entrance was unlocked. Sukuna took a peek at her, he couldn't bring himself to wake her up, she looked so peaceful, but unfortunately he had to. "Hey, which floor are you on?" He whispered softly, that was enough to shake y/n awake. "Third" she whispered back. Sukuna took the elevator up, and he finally reached her hallway, he only wished she didn't get her floor wrong or it would look like he was trying to break into someone else's house. "Doll, can you point your door for me? I'll put you down for a bit, where are your keys?" Y/n pointed at her door, handed Sukuna her keys and groaned as he set her down to unlock it for her. "You're such a brat" he pointed out swinging the door open, her annoyed face looked even cutter under the barely lit hallway.

Lord knows how Sukuna managed to find the light switches in the dark but he made it, y/n looked completely out of it now. He picked her back up and tried a few doors to find her bedroom. He gently layed her on the mattress. Y/n groaned again and said something about being uncomfortable. Of course she was uncomfortable, with her clothes still on from going out, there's no way she wasn't.

He shouldn't care right? He should just let her be and go home, but Sukuna could already tell she would have an awful nights sleep and he wanted her to rest properly. "Were do you keep sleep clothes" he asked, y/n pointed lazily at some drawer. After briefly digging in the drawer, he took out a pair of sweat pants and a hoodie for her.

He reached her frame again, undoing her shoes, sliding them off, next he prompted y/n with her side resting on the headboard so he could have her sit up with her legs dangling of the side of her bed. His hands found the rim of her shirt, her voice stopped him "don't look ok?" Her voice was hardly above a whisper. "I won't look"

"Promise?" She asked holding out her pinky

"promise" he stated locking it.

Sukuna averted his eyes from her body and helped her into her comfy clothes. Only one thing remained "Now come on time to get your makeup off"

"Nooo, I want to sleep" she complained loudly, dropping her body backwards on the bed. "Come on, it's not good for your skin, it will just be a minute, just be good for me" he said grabbing her hand, but y/n turned her head away. That's when Sukuna threw her over his shoulder, the most she could do was weakly hit his back and tell at him to put her down.

Sukuna sat her somewhere in her bathroom, while she still mumbled about being sleepy. He got a washcloth wet, and took a look at the products in her cabinet, she surely had an oil cleanser he just had to find it... bingo.

He pushed her hair out of the way and gently applied and massaged the product on to her skin, giving her instructions to keep her eyes and mouth close, he was extra careful not to cut her with his nails, then he used the washcloth to remove all the make-up that melted off. Sukuna also wore liner, not all the time but often enough to know that some things didn't come off with soap and water. He takes care of himself, his skin, his hair, his nails, everything. He knows a bit more than he's willing to share. Next he followed the same steps with her cleaner, y/n was enjoying herself, half asleep under his touch. He finished everything by applying a serum and a moisturizer on her face. "You've got the cheap stuff." He joked. "Hey it works" y/n defended as he picked her up once more.

This time he layed her under the covers, he pulled them up over her body, looking at her with plain adoration, he leaned down to press a kiss on her forehead.

"Sleep tight, I'll text you." He whispered in her ear, turning around to leave. A hand tugged oh his wrist, the same way he had done to her a couple days ago. Y/n was looking at him with pleading eyes "please stay" she almost begged, "are you sure? Its really late" he said, y/n nodded patting the spot beside her, he couldn't say no to those eyes. He quickly got rid of his shoes and dress shirt, he disappeared to the bathroom to take off his eyeliner and got under the covers with her.

Y/n curled up next to him, laying her head on his chest, taking in all his warmth and scent while listening to his heartbeat, his arm was wrapped securely around her.

" Can I ask you something?" Y/n's voice broke the silence. "Didn't you want to sleep?" Sukuna teased, and y/n took the opportunity to ask anyway. "Why do you like me?" What kind of question is this? Sukuna blamed the fact that she was a bit out it. She had no reason to be insecure, she was stunning and she also had a personality to back up her looks. "Let's see... you're kind of a badass, no one really talks back to me like you do, you're quite easy on the eyes too" what he said was very true, but he was falling for the little details too. The way she picked mindlessly at her food as she talked when he took her out, or the way her eyes sparkled when something peaked her interest. Even her drunken self had him feeling things he never did.

"How come you were single? Judging by your friends it's been a while" The words came out of his mouth before he could stop them, but y/n didn't give any signs of being bothered by his assumption. "Honestly, I don't want someone to fall out of love and leave me behind" Drunken words are sober thoughts. Sukuna didn't want to ask if that had happened to her before, he didn't care, he would do better than whoever hurt her.

More moments passed with him rubbing comforting circles on her back, he was sure she was asleep, her breath was slow and steady against his chest. "I wonder, what would you say if I asked you to be mine?" Sukuna whispered, staring up at her ceiling. "I'd say yes, airhead" y/n mumbled. Sukuna's eyes widened, she wasn't supposed to hear that. "I'll make sure to ask you soon then" he said, y/n looked up at him, this time he couldn't help himself and captured her lips in his, in a very slow passionate kiss. It didn't last long but it was enough to keep y/n's head spinning around with him running through it. "Sleep already, brat"

"okay 'kuna".

The light coming in, beaming through her curtains, woke y/n from a very peaceful sleep, now all she felt was the vodka she consumed the night before. Her head was pounding hard, she reached for her phone on her nightstand. Instead of her phone, her hand made contact with a piece of paper.

Good morning doll.

You're most definitely feeling like shit, but don't worry you didn't do anything too embarrassing. Unfortunately I had to go to work early and you looked cute sleeping, I didn't want to wake you. There are pain killers next to you, you must have a hell of a headache. Don't forget to eat, I made breakfast for you in the kitchen (with all I could manage to find, you should go grocery shopping more often). Text me or I might think you died in your sleep. Have a wonderful day y/n.

- Sukuna

PS I took a peek in one of your notebooks. I was right, your handwriting is really fucking bad.

Of course he had to be his usual smug self, y/n found herself laughing at the words scribbled on the paper that was obviously ripped out of one of her notebooks. His handwriting was as pretty as his drawings, so aesthetically pleasing. He had even taken time to doodle coffee cups, and some trees at the bottom of the page.

The events from the previous night were starting to flood back to her head head. She took the pain killers Sukuna left out for her, he was kind enough to place a glass of water on her nightstand too. Y/n couldn't believe Sukuna not only stayed over, but he also put in so much effort for her, he certainly didn't look like the type to do so.

Walking in her kitchen, what she witnessed, exceeded all her expectations. When she read breakfast she thought he made her a sandwich, which she would've been extremely grateful for. Sukuna had gone all out, from pancakes, to French toast, an omelet and even her coffee served. She just stood there looking at her table, mouth almost hanging.

Her phone buzzed in the pocket of her sweat pants.

You should've told me you were going out with Yuuji's hot brother. I would've never guessed that's your type.

Mai seemed to be in a mood to tease her.

You're right I should've told you, your turn, where did you and Yuuji run off to last night?

Y/n laughed knowing it was going to take a while to get a response. She sat down looking at all the choices she had, wondering what to pick. It's safe to say everything was as delicious as Sukuna.

I'm impressed. You draw, you cook AND you didn't burn down my house, I'm very thankful for that (breakfast was delicious too).

Sukuna, stared down at his phone, all the stress he had two nights ago long forgotten. Only thing that remained was to get y/n right back in his chair.

Happy to hear you're alive and kicking and you enjoy my cooking. I've got to go through, some dickbag wants me to do a cover-up. I'll talk to you later.

He dealt with this client in an unusually polite manner. Y/n had brighten his morning from the moment he woke up next to her.

Bonus Domain shenanigans: "Yuuji was right, I had to push him" Geto said to an agitated Gojo, who wanted to get under Sukuna's skin for a little longer. "Then hopefully he will bring her over, that would for sure be fun, he's going to get so worked up if we give her any attention." Gojo was rubbing his hands together at the thought. "I don't think that's a good idea. I'm not that worried about what Sukuna will do to you, we've both seen y/n, she doesn't even take his shit, I think she'd hit you." Nanami pointed out ."Well I haven't yet seen her, Yuuji said she was nice to him." Megumi joined the conversation remembering his friend talking about the girl, he had zoned out for half of it though. "I haven't seen her either, I did hear her though, she doesn't sound like she would let you pull something like that to him" Geto spoke again. "Nah she looked friendly, we can for sure make him foam at the mouth" Gojo plotted. "I can guarantee, she will rip of your head of if you try your shit." Sukuna was sure of it too.

Tag list: (message me or comment and I'll gladly add you)

@artist4theworld @skatercashew

@divineteaty

@in-inception @not-another-ackerman

@jjk-is-my-shit

@ilovemarvel99

@thegaymadafakkasworld

@readinghassavedmylife

@ruler-of-the-skies

@bluebananasssss

@ghost-of-todoroki

@sabsaocit

@heaveus

@jackysenpaii

@rebenok-zimnayaya

@aam1na

@sore-eyes

@ryan249057

@goobygoobster

@charlie-xo

@kamisamaundercover

@shadoweepingscream

@sunfloweroranges

@fiona782

@levi-ships-eruri

@chocolatecake764

@stupid-simp33

@ciphersighs

#ryomen sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna x you #ryomen sukuna #sukuna x reader #jjk sukuna #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen ryomen #au sukuna #au ryomen sukuna #tattoo artist sukuna #jjk #jujutsu kaisen x reader #sukuna fluff #Spotify

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gojoluvrrx · 5 years

Text

Jealous ex-boyfriend

BTS - Taehyung imagine

Word count: 1215

Summary: You’re at a party with your best friend, Jimin. Once there, you see your ex-boyfriend, Taehyung. That was the last thing you wanted to happen.

A/N: This was a bit delayed due to school and other personal reasons. But here it finally is! I hope you enjoy it :)

You're at a party with your best friend, Jimin. The two of you had become closer ever since you and Taehyung broke up 4 months ago. He was there for you when you couldn't take care of yourself anymore.

Jimin and you were sitting on the couch, next to each other with 3 other friends of his. You didn't know them that well, but they seemed nice.

And unfortunately your ex-boyfriend, Taehyung, was invited too. It didn't bother you that much, but the idea of him being there wasn't very pleasing.

After some time, a little nudge against your arm interrupted your thoughts. You shaked your head and turned your head to look at Jimin.

"You spaced out again, y/n. Are you thinking about that asshole again?" He asked, looking genuinely concerned at you. You hated seeing him like this.

"Kinda. It just frustrates me a bit that Taehyung is here as well." You replied, rubbing the side of your arm nervously. You heard him sigh softly, putting an arm around you. ''Just ignore him and think about me and all the other fun things you'll be doing tonight.'' Jimin smiled, patting your shoulder gently.

A lot of hours and drinks later, you noticed how your ex-boyfriend, Taehyung, was looking at you. He was practically swallowing you up with his eyes. They went from your eyes and beautiful smile, all the way down to your legs. You felt your cheeks heat up at the eye contact.

Looking down, you could feel Jimin lean down, looking at your bright red face. ''You really had way too many drinks. I think it's for the better if we go home now. It is pretty late after all as well.'' He mumbled, pulling you on your arm.

Before you could even get up, your phone buzzed, feeling it vibrate against hand. You turned your phone on to be greeted by a message from Taehyung. As you pulled your arm away from the boy next to you, you read the messages he had sent you.

You turn your phone off and get up, stuffing the mobile device in your pocket. You link arms with Jimin as he drags you to the exit of the building.

You stumble a bit from side to side, leaning all of your weight on your friend, but before you could leave, a firm hand could be felt on your shoulder, being pulled backwards towards the person. You turn around to be faced by your ex-boyfriend, which you had kind of expected.

‘‘Can I just please talk to you for one second? I need to get this off of my chest.’‘ He states, his eyes getting a bit teary as he finished his explanation. You told Jimin that he could wait outside for you in the car as you went somewhere private with Taehyung. You really couldn’t figure out what to expect, but he did seem honest in his words.

The two of you entered the room, Taehyung sitting down on the small couch placed in the corner of the room, the lights dimmed, and a scent of drugs and alcohol reeking around.

“So, I know you must be mad at me, but please listen to me for now.’‘ He started, hands placed on his lap nervously as he looks down at them. You did look at him, a bit concerned about whatever was coming. You had never seen him like this ever since you broke up.

"I know it didn't sound very convincing when I said I was sorry, but I really am. I miss you every single day. I think about you all the time, wherever I go. I just can't imagine a life without you, y/n. So, will you take me back?" He asked, looking at you from the corner of his eyes. All you could do is sit there with your mouth wide open, flabbergasted by his sudden request.

"Then why did you cheat on me?"

Silence.

He sighed.

"She forced me into it. I honestly didn't want it. In return she would give me money."

"That's the worst excuse I’ve heard, Taehyung. I’ve had enough of your bullshit!"

"My mother is sick, okay! She needs treatment, but she doesn't have the money for it. My dad isn't with us, they divorced. So I had to take this chance. My mom wouldn't be alive today if I didn't take her offer. The girl would give me money if I did whatever she asked of me." He explained, placing his hands on mine, tears sliding down his cheeks with every word he muttered out.

‘‘I-I didn’t know that... I’m sorry.’‘ You wipe the tears from his cheek, then pulling him into a hug. You didn’t know if this was the right thing to do, but you knew Taehyung wasn’t lying about his situation. You knew his mother had been sick before. It wasn’t that much of a surprise anymore, but you didn’t know she was in such a bad shape.

A few minutes had passed and it seemed like the other had calmed down a bit by now. You talked to him a bit more about it.

That was until he took your hands in his own, looking you straight in the eyes. ‘’Y/n, I still love you. I want you to know that. I do want to know what you want right now. If you want to keep things like they were or maybe get back together?’’ He asked. You noticed the way he looked so hopefull at you. You just couldn’t get yourself to turn him down again. ‘’I’m not sure, but now I know the truth, I might just take you back.’’ You said, before asking him for one favour, ‘’I want you to promise me you’ll never do this again. Promise you will always stay by my side and put all your effort in this relationship, because I really do want this to work out.’’

He nodded vigorously, the brightest smile you’ve ever seen appearing on his face. You were happy, smiling just like he did. Taehyung’s expression then softened as he leaned in, you doing the same. You could feel your stomach tingle at the touch of his lips against yours. Your hand went to his cheek as his hand slid down to your waist.

You end the kiss with Taehyung. A soft smile plastered on his lips. He then suddenly goes in for a hug again, holding you tight against his chest. Your cheeks heat up, them now being bright red. Hearing his heartbeat made you give into him, cuddling up against Taehyung.

‘‘I’m glad you’re back in my arms again...’‘

‘‘So am I.’‘

You smile.

You would’ve never thought the two of you would end up together again.

And as for Jimin, he was too confused to understand it all. You explained everything that happened back in that room. From him explaining everything to the two of you hugging and kissing each other again. All he could do was listen with his eyes widened and his mouth wide open. He couldn’t believe it either, but you knew it was better this way.

You were happy being with the love of your life again.

#bts #bts tae x reader #bts imagines #imagine #oneshot #taehyung #taehyung fluff #bts imagine

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inadaydream99 · 5 years

Text

Just friends, or maybe more (Part 6)

Talks and confessions

Ateez (all members) x reader

Fluff

———————————————————————

The film you had all been watching has just come to an end, everyone starting to get up and move around the dorms, some getting ready for bed and others going into the kitchen to get some drinks and nighttime snacks.

You are still cuddled up to Mingi, his arm securely holding you as you rested your cheek against his chest. His head had fallen back against the sofa, mouth slightly open as soft snores escaped through his lips. You look around the room to see who had left and who was still lounging around. Your eyes meet with San’s and you instantly divert them to focus on something else, a feeling of sadness washing over you as you think back on what Jongho had said earlier.

Your eyes aren’t looking away for long as San’s voice calling your name draws your attention back to him.

“(Y/N)! You alright?” San whisper shouts so he doesn’t disturb Mingi, his face seems concerned as you huff.

“Yeah I’m fine.” You reply, sounding a little bit harsher than you intended it to. A pang of guilt instantly soars up your chest as you see San’s face fall.

“I mean, could we maybe have a chat? I think there are some things we need to discuss.” You speak again, starting to carefully remove yourself from Mingi. San nods his head and moves to stand up, waiting for you in the doorway before walking together into the study.

You rarely ever came into the study as it is where all the boys expensive equipment is kept for when they work at the dorms. The room never seised to amaze you as you look around in awe, the pristine furniture and cosy vibes making you feel a little bit more relaxed.

“I just want to clear some things up because I’ve been warned about people messing with my feelings in order to sway my descision and win the bet.” You state, choosing to just come out with everything rather than drag on this dreaded conversation. San stares back at you slightly in shock.

“You think I’m messing with you?” His question comes out softly, a slightly hurt tone to his voice.

“I didn’t until someone suggested that they think you might be. I don’t know, they do kind of have a point. I mean, since this favourite thing came about you’ve been a bit forward and flirty. It just occurred to some people that it could be a plan to win.” You explain carefully, not wanting to hurt San’s feelings. San just stares at you in silence for a moment, the quietness making you tense, before finally speaking up.

“I’m sorry if it has come off that way, I just saw this bet as a way to show my true feelings towards you, regardless of whether I am your favourite or not. That doesn’t really matter to me. I have liked you for some time now and I couldn’t keep it hidden any longer.” San confesses, his eyes wide and innocent, his hand gently holding onto your arm.

You smile shyly and blush at San admitting his feelings, your heart racing a million miles an hour as you stare into his eyes seeing the truthfulness they hold. You slowly take his hand from your arm and intertwine your fingers with his.

“I feel the same.” Both of you beam at each other. “But I think maybe we should wait until the bet is over, just so the others don’t jump to conclusions, it’s not fair on you.” You continue.

“I don’t want to wait anymore, I’ve waited long enough.” San replies, laughing at the end. You snicker along at his cuteness.

“Ok then, how about we just keep this a secret. Then we can tell everyone after, when I have won the bet.” You laugh. San smiles affectionately down at you, one eyebrow slightly raised.

“What makes you think you’re gonna win?” San teases you as he pulls you closer to him, your hands now on his chest as his are holding your waist.

“Because I know I will, I think most people think they already know who my favourite is, but I am very competitive.” You taunt back, San’s face now almost touching yours.

You both lean in simultaneously for a kiss, your hands flying to run through his hair as he pulls you even closer to him, if that is even possible. You break the kiss and step back slightly.

“I think we should get out of here before someone notices we are missing.” You chuckle before leaving the room, San following closely behind you as you renter the now empty living room.

~~~~

You wake up the next morning laying on the sofa with arms wrapped around your waist. You turn your face to see that it is San who’s arms are around you. You must have fallen asleep together on the sofa. Suddenly, the thought that one of the guys could be awake and might see you like this made to try to sit up. You don’t even know what time it is but you’re sure that it can’t be that early, although the dorm is completely silent. As you move around, trying to get out of San’s hold, he shifts and starts to mumble.

“Stop moving, I’m trying to sleep.” San groggily mumbles as his eyes open slightly, still heavy with sleep.

“I need to get up Sannie, what if someone walks in and sees us.” You whine. San only tightens his hold on you and rolls so his body is almost completely on top of yours.

“Ah stop. You’re squishing me.” You complain as San lazily laughs. You could sense his michevious attitude as he refuses to let go.

“I’m serious, I might suffocate.” You struggle around. With an overly dramatic huff San let’s you free. However, you only get as far as sitting on the edge of the sofa before his hand grabs your wrist.

“What do you want now.” You feign being annoyed when in reality you are trying not to smile at how cute he is acting.

“I just wanted to say I really like that nickname you gave me just now.” He cheekily smirks up at you and you giggle at his statement.

“Is that all you wanted to say?” You tease him.

“Yeah, that and that you look really cute with bed head.” San teases back, laughing loudly as your hands go straight to your hair to try and tidy it a little.

“You’re very mean, you know that.” You reply sarcastically as you head to the bathroom to look in the mirror.

~~~~

Walking out of the bathroom, after sorting out your appearance as best as you could with no comb and a single hair tie, you bump into Seonghwa. He looks as though he has also just woken up as he half smiles at you.

“(Y/N) where did you get to last night? When Mingi woke up he came in looking for you.” Seonghwa questions.

“Oh, I was um, in the bathroom. I wasn’t feeling well.” You try to sound believable but you have never been good at lying.

“Hummm sure.” Seonghwa slyly reply’s, eyeing you with suspicion. “Anyway, I was wondering if you are free today? I thought we could go for coffee and hang out just us two. I feel like I haven’t spent any alone time with you in ages.” Seonghwa continues, looking at you with hopefull eyes.

“I am actually free so that sounds great.” You smile at him. “I’ll go get ready.” You say as you walk back towards the living room to look for your bag. Because you knew you would be staying over you came prepared for once.

You enter the lounge to see San still laying on the sofa, only now he was scrolling through his phone.

“I’m hanging out with Seonghwa today, gonna get coffee.” You tell him as you crouch down to grab some clothes out of your bag. San’s attention now fully on you, you look over to him to see he has a pout on his face.

“But I was hoping I could spent time with you.” San pleas.

“I’ve already promised Seonghwa and he seemed like he was looking forward to it. We can hang out later.” You reason with San as you stand up and walk over to him, your clothes bundled up in your arms. You lean down and press a quick peck to his lips before leaving the room once again to go and get ready.

~~~~

You were sat in a small coffee shop in the city centre. It was the one that you and Seonghwa always used to visit when you would go for coffee and so it felt very nostalgic to go again for a catch up. You sat with a cappuccino in front of you and Seonghwa with an iced coffee.

“So have you made any conclusions on who you think my favourite is yet?” You question with a cheeky smile knowing Seonghwa would definitely not have figured it out.

“Well actually, I think it could be Mingi. Everyone is discarding him thinking that he is the obvious option, but he is your bestest friend so it would make sense.” Seonghwa shrugs as he sips his coffee. “Or maybe Jongho? You do have a soft spot for him.” He continues after a moment of thought.

“That’s very interesting.” You laugh and sit back into your chair.

“I don’t think we will get it anyway. Don’t we all have to get it right for you to take us out for a meal?” Seonghwa questions as you sit back up and take a mouthful of coffee.

“I’ll be nice and say that if at least four of you guess right then I’ll buy everyone dinner, but if only, say, one person guesses correctly then I’ll only have to buy one meal.” You clarify as Seonghwa nods in understanding.

“I think you’re right though, I will win.” You say confidently and laugh with Seonghwa.

~~~~

As you and Seonghwa arrive back to the dorms after hanging out for most of the day a very happy Mingi runs up to you and squeeze’s you tightly.

“(Y/N)! You know I love you the most out of everyone here right.” Mingi shouts making you wince as it is practically right in your ears.

“That’s not even close to being true!” Wooyoung disagrees as he comes storming up to the both of you.

“I haven’t got time for this, good luck (Y/N)” Seonghwa says before walking away.

“Hey, Seonghwa! Don’t leave me with them!” You shout after him playfully as Mingi and Wooyoung start to bicker.

“Alright, alright. Time to calm down now. Mingi let go of (Y/N).” San calmly states as he walks into the hall.

Mingi relucantly lets go of you and both the boys walk away sulking making comments under their breath about San ruining the fun.

“Thanks San.” You giggle as he brings you into a soft hug, placing a quick peck on your lips.

“You’re very welcome. How was your day with Seonghwa.” He smiles down at you.

“It was really good. It was nice to have time doing whatever we wanted without being in a hurry.” You say moving out of San’s hold in case someone was to walk past and see you.

“I’m glad to hear that. Tomorrow I want some time with you though.” San states. “Maybe we could go shopping?” He suggests as you smile in agreement.

“Sounds great.” You beam as you both walk into the lounge to join some of the others.

———————————————————————

A/N - Hey! I hope you enjoyed part 6 😁 I feel like this is quite a long part, I kind of got carried away.

Let me know what you think of San and (Y/N)

Do you think Seonghwa is onto something with Mingi or Jongho being the favourite?

Is the shopping day going to reveal anything?

Requests are open!

#ateez series #ateez fluff #ateez fanfiction #ateez fanfic #ateez yunho #ateez yeosang #ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #ateez san #ateez jongho #ateez mingi #ateez wooyoung #ateez x reader #kpop fluff #kpop series #kpop fanfic writer #kpop fanfiction

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demaury · 5 years

Photo

the best of me (chap.6)

Eliott and Lucas have never worked up the courage to actually make a move, and thus spent years dancing around each other without ever acknowledging their feelings. However, an engagement party gone a little too wild, an hotel room and a very bad idea might be all it takes to make everything blow up. (read on ao3)

I think we already did.

The words sank and Lucas’ heart sank with them. His fingers tightened around nothing as Eliott’s eyes trailed over his face, and then just like that he was gone, leaving Lucas to stare at his back while he was retreating towards the elevator. His eyes started to sting painfully but he felt his blood boil at the same time, as if his body didn’t know very well how to handle that new rush of emotions.

He found himself following behind, feet moving forward before he really got behind what was happening. “You’re right,” he said.

If all was lost he deserved to be honest.

He deserved to let go of all the things he had been holding back for years now.

Eliott scooted around, and Lucas’ heartbeat picked up as he fought as hard as he could possibly do to keep his voice in check. “Our relationship is a burden. It’s too much and I don’t think I can take it anymore, but it doesn’t have anything to do with you getting depressed,” he pressed on, speech rate going a tad faster. “What I can’t take anymore, it’s all those people who constantly walk over you and that you keep letting in anyway. They don’t deserve you. They don’t deserve who you are, they don’t deserve your kindness.”

Julien, Eliott’s first boyfriend after Lucille, considered that Eliott’s drawings and animal characters were a waste of time and potential and had no trouble to speak up his mind about them. The girl he had dated alongside that boy had dumped him shortly after the third one had left them, simply because she got bored from dealing with a heartbroken Eliott. Hell, even Eliott’s parents didn’t have the decency to respect his wish for privacy and had blatantly told a friend of their son’s they had never seen before that Eliott was psychologically unstable.

“I was mad. I still am,” Lucas said again, a bitter chuckle escaping his lips as he made an evasive gesture with his arms. “Seeing you with them makes me mad. Having to make room for them in our relationship makes me mad. It’s not- It’s not even because I don’t want to share you, I just don’t want to share you with people who don’t give a fuck, but here I am, doing that every three weeks or so, and I’m tired. It’s exhausting and it’s unnerving, and it has no fucking end, and the worst part is that I just don’t know what my spot in all of this is. I find myself searching for words to explain your boyfriend or your girlfriend that you can’t deal with them at the moment, and I don’t care if it makes me look like the bad guy, I don’t care if it makes me look like I’m the one intruding in your relationships, I don’t care because that’s what you need from me, but all I want is- all I wanted was to know what my goddamn place was.”

Was I your best friend? Was I your found baby-brother? Was I just another part of your polyamory thingy? These were the questions he was dying to ask, but none made it past his lips, dying in his throat instead. He wanted to be honest but honesty was fucking hard and he didn’t know if he had any bit of energy left at this point.

“What am I for you?” he insisted again, and his voice cracked halfway through the sentence. What was I, before you decided to cut me off?

Eliott’s eyes fell to the side, his shoulders hunching slightly forward. “Does it count as something if I can’t name it?”, he eventually said, barely louder than a whisper.

Lucas’ eyes widened slightly and the lump in his throat grew ten times bigger. “You can’t name it,” he repeated flatly. “You wear you fucking heart on your- you know what? Forget it. Nevermind,” he shook his head and took a step back. “Whatever it is, whatever it was, it’s over anyway.”

He fought the tears as he turned onto his heels and strode outside the lobby where Manon was waiting for their cab. Eliott didn’t follow him. He didn’t utter a word, he didn’t say anything at all, and Lucas didn’t stick around any more minute to wait for him to do so.

It wasn’t like there was anything else to add anyway.

It wasn’t 11 when they landed in Paris, and before noon when he got back home, crawling back there as if he had been ran over by a bus.

The ride to the airport had been deadly silent on Lucas’ part, but if anything he was glad Manon of all people had been there with him. She had seen him at his best and at his worst across the years; she knew exactly when to push and to stop. The way he shoved his sunglasses on his nose as soon as he exited the hotel lobby was enough of a signal for her apparently. She didn’t ask any stupid question, resisted the social pressure of providing useless comments and sweet nothings, and undertook the small talk with the taxi driver on their way to the airport without asking him to take any part in a conversation he barely understood anyway. If she spotted a few tears streaming down his cheeks, she didn’t say anything.

Two days turned into five, five days turned into a week, a week turned into two, then three. Life went back to normal, or what was supposed to be the new normal. Lucas wasn’t used to normal, although the gap between him and his friends had lessened over the last few years — no, he was used to weird. The consequences of that weekend abroad hit him like a truck launched at full speed when he realized, halfway through the week following their return to Paris that yes, he did break up with Eliott. They were no longer friends. And if by any chance Eliott eventually decided to make his way back to the French capital city, they would no longer hang out together, let alone text each other until ungodly hours. You could decide to remain friends with the person you had stopped dating (although it was a performance he had never achieved himself), but how could you decide to downgrade a friendship out of the blue?

The prospect of having to establish a new paradigm for his and Eliott’s relationship started to occupy half of his time and to take over his sleepless nights, while the other half was more than busy stressing over the new responsibilities stemming from the fact that his boss on vacations for two weeks meant he was in charge. The workload wasn’t all that heavier, even more so because of the summer holidays, but the tiniest task had him regularly stressed out more than usual. Needless to say, he had known better summers. A week exactly after their weekend in Spain, Lucas had the honor, as the future best man and an honorary member of the Cazas family, to be invited to the engagement dinner Yann and Nola hosted for their families. It was all good and delightful, really, until a particularly nosy aunt of Nola’s decided to set him up with Delphine, her niece’s very single maid-of-honor — the cherry on top.

The atmosphere within the gang was still a bit weird, leaving more than one of them uneasy, and it was the extended weekend of the 15th of August before Lucas heard about Eliott again — about, not from. As far as he was concerned, the last time they’d spoke was in the hotel lobby, and the last texts Eliott had sent from that weekend abroad still laid unreturned in his phone. Even his Instagram account had been dead silent since then, which hadn’t happened in a very, very long time, if ever.

“Emma wants to talk with you,” Yann said one evening. “Guess she wants to apologize again.”

Lucas glanced in the distance. “I don’t really want to,” he admitted with a sigh, “but I guess it’d look childish to keep her at arm’s length.”

His best friend studied him curiously. “I never thought you’d be…”

“What? The bigger man?” Lucas snorted.

“-I was gonna say chill.”

Lucas shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m not gonna thank her either. Neither her, nor the guys. It was fucked up and it will take a while before I can consider myself over it.”

Yann took a sip from his beer. “No one asked you to laugh it off, it’s okay.”

“Yeah.” He paused and let his beer bottle roll between his fingers. “You were right. About me and Eliott. We didn’t know shit about what was happening. It was best for us to part ways.”

It still felt so incredibly bitter on his tongue. Eliott, who wore his heart on his sleeve, who fell for the first person who gave him attention and support and called it love after hanging out a couple of times and banging halfway through the first date, that Eliott didn’t know how to acknowledge their relationship. It’s not love, it never was, a voice repeated him every one and then, and after some time he had started believing it; it didn’t feel so alien. It just was, period.

“I never said you two needed to break it off,” Yann countered. “All I said was that you needed to figure things out. Put a name on it once and for all.”

“Well, we did,” Lucas waved.

He didn’t want to talk about it anymore and they easily moved onto another subject, which turned out to be the current intern at Lucas’ firm. The girl, Bérénice, was always slipping out to smoke outside, particularly since their boss wasn’t there, which profoundly annoyed him. First, because it was rude as hell. Her job was to welcome hypothetical clients and to answer the damn phone. Second, because she knew very well that although he was hired and he was older and he was in charge he wasn’t the actual boss and had no power to end her internship anytime soon. Third, because he had quit smoking two years ago and now he was dying to go back to it — all because of her, obviously, and not because of Eliott. She just had this ability to disappear in a blink, without a sound, and after nearly two weeks from that treat, Lucas was on the verge of strangling her more often than not.

That day was no exception. A Thursday afternoon overall quiet, the second to last day before his boss came back to work and hopefully knocked some sense into that stupid intern. Lucas had just gone to the archives to fetch a file he needed to complete a current work, only to find their shared office empty.

“Bérénice,” he called out, glancing around. “Bérénice.”

The only answer was the humming of the traffic down the street and Lucas huffed in frustration. That was it. He was going to deck her, he decided, and he slammed the file onto his desk. It sent a paper sheet flying, and then slowly falling somewhere under the table. Great. He hated his life so freaking much. With another huff to himself through gritted teeth, he postponed rushing downstairs to grab Bérénice by her ponytail (he wasn’t violent, okay?) and bring her back to her table work, and squatted down instead to fumble for the paper sheet.

He rapidly unfolded it with a quirked brow, his heart skipping a beat as his eyes stumbled onto the familiar outline drawn in black ink on the sheet. It was a familiar-looking raccoon, sitting alone on a bed, his black pointy ears down and a sad look on his face. Four words were scribbled underneath.

Three weeks without him.

What the fuck was that thing doing here? It was obviously recent, he couldn’t even doubt that it might have been an old one that he would, somehow, have forgotten about. The drawing wasn’t there when he had gone to the archives, which meant-

“Hi,” a voice said somewhere in the office, and it startled Lucas so much that his head snapped up, bumping it loudly in the desk above him.

He scrambled his way out with a wince, still holding the drawing. His eyes slowly climbed up a familiar pair of sneakers. Familiar distressed dark jeans. Familiar everything.

“What are you doing here?” Lucas asked, a little bit thrown off, as he rubbed the spot on his head while Eliott looked at him sheepishly.

“I, uh, I told your intern to go grab a coffee,” he cleared his throat.

Lucas snorted. “And of course she listened to you.”

Unbelievable, he was really going to deck her. He stood up, and after glancing at the drawing once more, he held it out with a quizzical expression.

“I wanted to talk to you,” Eliott said, biting onto his bottom lip.

I’m at work, Lucas nearly replied. Surely he could have found a better moment to drop by, like lunch time for instance. Instead he just sighed and put the drawing down on the desk. “Alright. Okay, but hurry up, please.”

Eliott swallowed and his eyes fell onto the ground with a small ‘okay’ before he started looking up again. “I should have written what I wanted to say,” he mumbled, more to himself than to Lucas apparently. “I’m sorry. For the way things went down in Spain. For the things I said. I just- I just felt like it was a fucking nightmare. Like I was losing everything.”

Lucas let out a little huff. “It’s not everything. I’m not all you have.”

“You’re a big part of it,” Eliott said again, brutally honest, and Lucas hated the way his heart softened in his chest, as if he was leaning into an invisible touch. “I never realized it bothered you how much I was unloading onto you. I think… I think I didn’t want to see it.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned back against the door hanging wide open. “The first time I saw you, I remember, you had that… that big smile on your face and you were laughing with the guys, and, I don’t know, I just felt like I wanted to keep it on forever.” He chuckled to himself, shaking his head without meeting his eyes. “I didn’t even know you and yet all I wanted was to protect you.”

Eliott’s eyes were impossibly soft, but there was a sad glint to them. They could go back to the way things were, couldn’t they? I don’t want to. He missed having Eliott around. He missed talking to him. He craved for his smiles and for his laugh and for his inspired comments on the beauty of this world out there. But he didn’t miss dealing with yet another fling of Eliott’s. For all he knew, there wasn’t anybody in the picture at the moment, which meant that Eliott had been single for at least a month, if not two. A prowess, if his dating records were any indication, which surely wouldn’t last much longer than that.

“You still haven’t given me a definition of what we are,” Lucas said.

“What we are, what we used to be- Does it matter?” Eliott asked. “Does it matter if that’s not what I want us to be?”

This is so fucked up. Lucas huffed and shook his head, feeling like his chest was constricting. How many times had he dreamt about Eliott confessing his undying love when he was 16, before wrapping his head around the idea that it’d never happen?

“You’re almost ten years too late,” he had a sad laugh. “I liked you. I always did. You were so cool and confident and obviously so fucking far out of my league. But then we talked, and you were nice to me, and you made feel so at ease… I never wanted it to stop.”

“And why do you think I stuck around?” Eliott had a small, almost sheepish smile.

“That’s the problem. People stick around until they leave. They just come and go, and I didn’t want you to leave, ever.”

Eliott looked down. “But I left anyway.”

“But you left anyway.”

“So that’s why you never said anything?” Eliott’s voice sounded sad, and his face almost crestfallen, as if he had just heard a devastating news.

Lucas chuckled, still blinking furiously to keep the tears at bay. Why was he such a cry-baby? No one ever cried as much as he fucking did. You’d think that he wouldn’t have much more tears to shed after all this time but apparently he still had plenty. “Nearly ten years spent trying to bury it all and look at me now! A fucking mess.”

Lucas brought his hand to his face and bitterly wiped his eyes. He had never thought he’d start crying in the middle of his work office but apparently Eliott had so fucking much power over him than talking for five minutes was enough to turn him into a babbling, stupid mess.

“A beautiful mess,” Eliott said, soft, almost light-heartedly.

Lucas looked up to glare at him, but before he could even do so, he felt two arms wrapping around him and pulling him closer, closer, closer, until he was pressed into Eliott’s chest. The tension of the past few weeks seemed to lift off his shoulders as he inhaled deeply, losing himself completely in Eliott’s smell. It was familiar. Almost like home.

A small knock on the door made Lucas startle and Eliott and him pulled away from each other. Bérénice was standing in the doorframe of the office, looking vaguely smug. “Sorry to interrupt but, like, it’s already 2.30,” she said casually.

Eliott cleared his throat, shoving his hands into his pants pockets. “Right. I’ll just- I’ll just leave.”

Lucas stared, a little bit stunned and a lot emotionally drained, as Eliott threw a glance above his shoulder while walking out. A part of him couldn’t believe he’d just leave like that. He had no problem telling Bérénice to fuck off before, why would he be scared of her all of a sudden? What the fuck had just happened anyway? There had been tears and ‘I’m sorrys’ and a whole bunch of things he was fine with keeping to himself, and now- now what?

“Your boyfriend’s hot,” Bérénice commented, not looking remotely ashamed.

Lucas snapped out of his thoughts, but was a bit too lost at the moment to tell her to fuck off. With a mumble he rounded his work table and dropped himself on his desk chair, just as his phone was lighting up with a text notification. Lucas’ heart literally jumped forward in his chest when he read Eliott’s name. He had never opened a text so fast in his entire life.

Boyfriends

That’s what I want us to be

I’d like that

I’d like that a lot

#elu fic #skam france #mine #*#eliott demaury #lucas lallemant #*tbom #elu #ayeeeeeee #one more to go

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jean-and-ali-liveblogs · 5 years

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Ali: I shall use your asks as an opportunity to give all the informations.

And apologize. Again. FEELS LIKE I DO THAT A LOT LATELY.

I am going to end up doing a liveblog for the movie. I WANT TO DO IT SO BADLY. Things are kinda hard right now, but I am excited to actually do it and I hope I will be able to as soon as I can.

I do not want to give any specific time frame as of now - because, well, my life is a mess - but I am not gonna give up on liveblogging.

From other important things: I am in possesion of Jean’s answers to all the pending asks and also in possesion of liveblog for Keeping it Together. Neither is traslated yet, but will be soon - probably sooner than I will liveblog the movie by myself. Though, Jean would like to let you know that the episode killed him. Which I think is proper reaction to it.

As to what happened that I fallen off the face of the world again: So, my brother hired me in his shop, which is actually pretty enjoyable and nice work.

But then he decided to go for over two weeks vacations, and left me as de facto owner and manager of understaffed shop. As a result I ended up going to work days in a row from 8am to MIDNIGHT, and even when I did have a free day, I had to be on the phone and work mail and figure out all the things that are constantly breaking or going wrong.

You know, I think that experience taught me that I would NOT like to own a shop.

But now my brother is back and I am slowly putting my life back together too.

I am sorry there is so little happening here in those last months. As I also previously mentioned, I am struggling with some mental health issues now, BUT I am on my way to getting myself therapist, so that should get better soon too.

I really love liveblogging, I loved doing it, and I wish so many things weren’t getting in my way all the time.

BUT ANYWAY! I do not want this whole answer to sound so negative and sad, because things are not totally terrible in my life and I am hopefull for the future.

AND I WANT TO WATCH STEVEN, DAMN IT. I was already advised to have tissues with me during the movie, so I am very hyped now.

Again, I don’t want to promise anything yet, but I am definitely going to at least start watching it before this current month ends. Tomorrow I am planning to finish translating for sure Keeping it Together Jeanblog and asks answers, so you all may expect those soon.

Thank you to everybody who is still sticking with us through those trying times.

#su #steven universe #asks #general

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jennsmischievousmind · 6 years

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EXSOMNIS

CHAPTER 4 - Two birds, no stone

Exsomnis: Wakeful, vigilant

Summary: Fresh Doctor out of residency you didn’t expect Conyers to be this uneventful until everything happened at the same time. From the outset, an odd meeting with what seems like a steadfast Detective but it was only the beginning.

Notes: English is not my native language, I’m trying to get better at it, please be indulgent.

Based on the movie Prisoners by Denis Villeneuve (so I don’t own any of the OG characters) if you haven’t seen it, I recommend you do (maybe before reading) :) The story takes place before and through the event in the movie.

Thanksgiving was around the corner, meaning you were short on staff at the hospital leaving you no time to spend at home. Erin and Rachel were at Rach’s parents, they had tried to convince you to come but family dinners were not your thing, even more with a family you practically don’t know.

2 days before Thanksgiving you crossed paths with Detective Loki. Since last time you didn't really have time to meet, so you took a few minutes around a coffee to catch up. He noted that you were alone on Thanksgiving’s night so managed to invite you for dinner.

“Dr Y/L/N, I’m sorry but we need you to stay on shift tonight, we’re shorthanded.” The HR announced as you were taking your break. You cursed under your breath, the HR gave you an apologetic smile. Phone in hand, waiting for Loki to pick-up you hoped he was busy too, it would make it easier.

“Hey,” he answered, you heard rustling papers, he was surely at work, you huffed alleviate.

“Hi, uhm, I’m sorry I won’t be able to make it tonight. Got to stay at the hospital. Understaffed.” You announced at once, ripping off the bandage as fast as possible. He could understand, it’s kind of the same at the station. He inhaled on the other side of the phone.

“Duty is duty, don’t worry.”

“Come out next year, and we'll do it all over again ok?” you heard him chuckle

“Let’s do that but not next year.” He offered hopefull.

“Agreed, see you soon then.” You bid goodbyes wishing each other a happy Thanksgiving.

Little did you know after your call he asked to stay on shit for the night.

A few hours later, you were finally free from the Hospital but you frowned as soon as you put a foot outside. By the time you reached your car you were soaked, the heavy rain whipped your windshield, making driving difficult indeed it took you twice the time to head home. It was 2 am on your kitchen clock, you wondered if Loki was still up, you texted him not expecting an immediate answer so went to bed immediately.

You woke up around 9am, dragging your overly tired self to the coffee machine, checking your phone while the hot liquid filled the big cup. Rach and Erin had ranted about how Thanksgiving at Rach’s parents went horribly awkward. Erin had even sent a ‘rescue me’ video from Rach’s parents’ toilet in the group chat, you couldn’t help yourself to smile and blessed yourself for not going.

No answer from Loki, you felt this inescapable pang in your stomach when you find yourself led, in the blink of an eye, to question your own emotional life.

Then your phone buzzed.

“Busy, talk to you soon, sorry. Loki” you stayed silent reading the text multiple times, somehow relieved that he had answered but not quite sure of how to render the text. Trying to find something to say, you finally decided for an “Ok sure.”

You drink your coffee lost in your thoughts, heading to the living room. The news on TV blurting the Thanksgiving usual hazards: Snowy roads; traffic jams; accidents; lost items in turkeys...

“Yesterday in the usually quiet town of Conyers, Thanksgiving turned into a horrid day for two families. Two little girls disappeared in broad daylight. Soon one suspect was in custody, he was apparently driving an RV that was parked in the girls’ neighbourhood early in the day. He tried to run away with his vehicle when found at a gas station parking late last night. The two girls are still missing as we speak.”

“Damn it.” you shook your head sighing, what is wrong with people you thought while listening to the news and at the same time checking your sns.

“Detective Loki from the Conyers Department of Police has been appointed to the case.”

Raising your head from your phone, mouth agape at the TV, you rewind all the pieces of information in your mind. If you had known sooner you would have said something else in the text. Long minutes passed, during which you wondered if you should send him another message. The blinking cursor in the box "new message" seemed to became impatient until the buzz of a call made you jump.

“Y/N, have you heard about ...!? A honk made you put the phone away from your ears. Only two words “Loki”, “abduction” were audible.

“Hello to you too, yes I’ve just heard, that’s awful!”

“Yeah, hi, definitely not good timing for you though!”

“Erin!” you scolded and heard Rachel do the same.

“Okay okay, just trying to lighten the mood.” she apologized.

“Where are you by the way?” you turned the TV off.

“Traffic jams.” She sighed, another honk resonated in the phone, you heard Rachel swear at another driver.

“Tell me when you’re home. And ... we should stop the night’s run for now just in case.”

“I wish we had to stop for another reason.”

“Yeah, call me okay.”

“Yeah bye.”

Instead of the usual run, you met with the girls for board games, usually, it involved a bottle of wine and Rachel’s exquisite cuisine.

“Okay, hear me out” she put her glass on the ground, you rolled your eyes. All night she had asked about Loki.

“What about your needs Y/N? I feel like you're waiting for him to finally give you some time of his, as you're not a priority.”

“I'm not a priority right now Erin.” You sipped on your wine.

“You know what I mean. I am just afraid that you're making his needs overpass yours without taking care of how you feel in all of that.” Her hands making big gestures, you grabbed them.

“We’re not even a couple or something, calm down! you smiled, I'm not blinded by the guy, I know what I worth, what I deserve. And my needs, for now, are fine thank you.” You stifled a laugh at her frowning face.

“I shouldn’t have pushed for something to happen between you two.” she said questioning her cupid skills

“Ok, you released her hands and continued, look at me back in Cleveland, the exams took over me, the internship at the hospital was a disaster and how many times did you present me a guy?”

“Lots of times…” she mumbled

“Yeah, and you want to know why it never worked out?”

“They were assholes.” She grimaced

“Hm mostly yeah, but I wasn't ready to be in a relationship! My mind was elsewhere, I had no time to take care of my physical and mental health as much as I should have. It was a hard time, you witnessed it.”

She nodded admitted it.

“I’m fine now but I can't crash into his life like that and take his focus out of this case especially because I know it won’t work out since he is concentrating on his duty.”

“I got it okay, but there will always be another case and did he text you or something …”

“I know but I like to think we'll have a moment of respite. And he’s not quite the texter but that’s fine by me, you know I’m not a good morning and good night's texts kind of person.”

She stared at you squinting her eyes, you mimicked her wondering.

“You really want the guy!” she caught you so off guard that you almost spit your wine.

“Miss the point by miles, you cough, but yeah let's say that.” You both cracked into laughter. She was still a bit concerned, but she got around in the end.

40hours after the abduction, no sign of Loki except on the news, thankfully you had lots of work at the hospital so you didn't have time to let your mind wander.

When you heard the indictment of the paedophile priest, you almost threw a tantrum in the break room.

“How the fuck that asshole is still in charge of a church, he is surrounded by children all the fucking day!” you screamed at the tv, scaring the surgeon next to you, some students looked at you from the lunch table. The ringtone coming from your pocket made you walk out and step outside on the emergency staircase allowing you to take some fresh air.

“Hi there..,”

“Hey, I'm sorry I didn't call sooner”

“No no, it's okay I've seen the news. I know you have a lot to do ... and the freaking priest ... I mean why is that guy still out there.”

“I don't know Y/N, I'm not a judge.” He answered with a tight voice.

“Right sorry, I jumped on you, it's just that..it's really upsetting.” you sighed rubbing your eyes.

A 2-seconds silence felt, giving you both opportunity to breathe in and change the subject.

“Are you all right?” You asked

“Tired mostly, he inhaled, I wish .. I could see you without feeling guilty .. but my mind is on the case..”

“Hey hey, you shushed gently, it's okay, they are the priority here.”

“Why didn't we met at another time.” He said gravely.

“At least we've met, even though you had to be stabbed for it to happen.” He chuckled over the phone. “I have to go back, be careful out there.”

“You got my word.”

He hung up, you took a big breath of fresh air before stepping back in the building, thinking of what he said. What would have happened if you had met at another time?

Erin bumped into you.

“The community is organizing a vigil in front of the Birch’s house tomorrow night, she handed you a flyer, you’re coming?”

“Yeah, I’ll drop by your place so we can go together.” she nodded and you sighed looking at the face of the two little girls on the handout.

Chapter 5: Respect all, trust few soon

#detective loki x reader #prisoners #detective loki #exsomnis #jake gyllenhaal x reader #jake gyllenhaal #jake gyllenhaal imagines #slow burn #imagines #fanfiction #keller dover #alex jones #hugh jackman #paul dano #reader insert

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kpopscenario · 6 years

Text

SVT Performance and Vocal unit: reacting to their plus size GF getting hate or hating themselves for their size

Performance unit

Jun

„Woaahhh when are you done? Just pull on a dress and shoes, I wanna go out“, Jun whined from your bed where he was laying and playing a game on his phone. He was waiting for you to get dressed for your date night but it took you forever today. He heard you sigh deeply. You were standing in front of the mirror and could start crying every second because of your reflection. The clothes didn‘t look nice, you changed into another dress but it was even worse. You grew desperate and felt your lips start to shake. You hated what you saw. You kneeled down and quietly cried when everything got too much. „Baby? Why are you crying? What‘s up?“, Jun kneeled down and rubbed your back. You sniffled and shook your head. „I hate my body, it looks disgusting. No clothes look great on me.“ He was shocked and extremely sad when he heard your struggle. „Hey, look at me“, he pulled your chin up. „You look amazing, your body is great and you should appreciate and love it how it is because I love it. I wouldn‘t change a thing. Look at this“, he looked in the mirror like you and caressed your hips and belly. „It‘s beautiful, I‘m so lucky.“

Hoshi

Hoshi decided to pick you up from university as a surprise. He was way too early but still waited at his car and watched the entrance so he wouldn‘t miss his girlfriend. There were a couple of people standing outside who were talking rather loudly but Hoshi didn‘t mind them. After ten minutes, he finally spotted you and his face brighted up immediately. He came closer and was full of happiness when he suddenly heard the group calling you names which made Hoshi stop and drop his happy expression. Couple of them were chuckling in a judging way, others were insulting you. „Isn‘t that sweater meant for girls two sizes smaller than you? Really, you don‘t attract anybody with that look“, you stood there, not being able to move. Hoshi frowned deeply and gave them a death glare. Now he stormed straight in your direction and you gasped when he suddenly was in front of you, his arm on your shoulder. The group immediately stopped talking. „Don‘t ever talk to her like that again, now get lost.“ It worked, they quickly left, too embarassed. „Hoshi...“, he rubs over your cheek. „Don‘t believe a word they are saying, you‘re beautiful and perfect. Okay?“

The8

You two were on the couch and in the middle of a soft make out session when Minghao pulled up your shirt but you quickly stopped the kiss and laid your hand on his. He frowned and pulled back. „What? Was I too fast? Sorry...“, he apologized and pouted but you shook your head. „It‘s not that...“, you sighed and suddenly felt dumb for your insecurities. You just didn‘t like your exposed body, so you were scared to show it to someone else. „I don‘t want you to see...my b-body. I don‘t like it.“ It was silent for a moment, Minghao took his hand away and got sad at hearing how insecure you were. You were beautiful to him, he didn‘t see your problems. „But your body is totally fine, you shouldn‘t be so hard to yourself.“ „But that‘s just how I am, I can‘t help it“, you mumbled. He bit his lips and had an idea. He leaned down and slowly pulled your shirt up but only a few inches. You wanted him to stop when he kissed your tummy. You gasped as he continued as he kissed more and more. „I don‘t see your problem, all I see is a flawless body“, he looked up and when he smiled at you, you smiled too because of his kindness.

Dino

You didn‘t feel like eating today. Your fork barely touched the food which was on your plate. In contrast, Chan was already eating his second portion. He looked so cute when he was eating so eagerly. He was talking about his day in the studio and how hard the training afterwards was but he was satisfied with himself because he could see results. He got a bit more muscular, he looked even more handsome than before. All you gave him was a weak smile. At least he was working out, at least he had a good body. You couldn‘t see results on your body, you even thought that you got heavier. He noticed your absence. „Y/n? Why are you like this? And... finally pick up food, it‘ll get cold.“ „I‘m not hungry“, it was a lie. You were hungry but didn‘t want to get bigger. He sighed. „You‘re a terrible liar. What is this about?“, you shrugged your shoulders and tried to stop your shaking lip. Chan‘s eyes widened once he realized that you were about to cry. „Oh no...please don‘t cry“, he pouted and got up, only to kneelstand next to you. He rubbed over your thighs and looked at you with big, sad, puppy eyes. He hated it when you were sad. „I just feel so fat... I can‘t help it. At work, they talk about it and I think they‘re right. I hate myself like this“, he looked down and patted your thighs more. „They are not right, absolutely not. Your body is perfectly fine like this. You are no super skinny girl but so what? You‘re way more beautiful with curves anyways“, he flashed you with a hopefull smile that dragged you in. You rolled your eyes. „Yeah, as if.“ „You think I‘m lying? Lee Chan never lies! Especially not when it comes to his girlfriend!“

Vocal unit

Jeonghan

You would be pretty happy in your relationship with Jeonghan, he would be good to you and show you affection and love all the time but sometimes you'd just get so incredibly insecure. You and Jeonghan would be in the livingroom watching some Music show while cuddling a little. Whenever girlgroups would be on screen you would frown a little and start comparing yourself to all of them, wondering if you were less attractive than them and if Jeonghan maybe would like someone like this more? "They're pretty, huh?", you'd ask randomly which would make Jeonghan frown slightly and simply shrug his shoulders. "I mean, yeah sure they look good", he'd say while looking at you to see your expression, he'd suddenly start grinning which would confuse you. "Aww, are you jealous because I'm looking at them?", he'd ask teasingly, knowing that you weren't actually jealous. You'd just giggle slightly and shake your head but Jeonghan would know you better than anyone else and notice the hint of insecurity in your eyes. "Tell me what's on your mind, baby", he'd whisper while petting your hair softly which would make you close your eyes. "It's just... they're all really skinny and pretty and just you know... perfect body and everything, why don't you get someone like this?", you'd ask in a quiet voice which would make him stop his movements. "Y/n-ah... stop saying things like that... you know I don't want anyone besides you..." "yeah but why? I'm chubby and unattractive..." "Yeah right", he'd continue petting your hair while thinking about how he could bring out his thoughts. "Look, you're not size 0, I know that, but who cares? You're literally an angel and the prettiest person inside and out, no matter what size. In my eyes you're perfect and I adore you so much, if you could see yourself from my eyes you'd be just as much in love with yourself as I am with you.", he'd say softly which would make you smile and hide your face in his neck. "And don't you ever talk badly about yourself again... it hurts me seeing you like this especially since there's no reason for you to talk about yourself like that"

Joshua

You would be home alone just scrolling through your social medias and enjoying the quiet night waiting for Joshua to finally come home so you guys would at least be able to spend a little time together. After a while you'd decide to search up your name on twitter to see what people were thinking about you. You never looked for yourself on the internet ever since Joshua has told you it wouldn't be good, but you were curious. You knew that dating an idol would bring you some hate from childish fans but you didn't expect this much. There were literally accounts soley made to hate on you and what made your heart drop, your weight. You always were a little insecure about your curvy body but you never felt this bad about yourself. All the comments on how chubby you looked in that dress or how your cheeks were to fat and how you don't fit with Joshua at all would eventually make you cry silently. After everything would get too much for you you'd quickly turn off your phone and go to the bedroom to lay onto the bed. You would continue crying, not being able to stop yourself no matter what. After a while you would hear the door open which would make you quickly dry your tears with your sleeves so Joshua wouldn't know that you cried, but he was in the bedroom pretty fast and his happy expression turned into a worried expression really fastly after seeing you like this. "Baby..", he'd simply say and immediately go up to you to take you in his arms. He would hug you tightly while you'd continue crying silently into his shirt. After you'd calm down a little he would pull away a little and dry your tears with his sleeves. "Why are you crying baby?", he'd ask softly while caressing your cheeks with his hands. "I... I was on twitter", he'd stop his movements and sigh a little. "So... you searched up your name?", you'd simply nod and lower your glance, but he would softly grab your chin and make you look at him again. "Baby.. I told you you shouldn't look at it... some people are just hatefull and looking for reasons to hate you.. They just want to hurt you because you hurt their feelings, they're jealous and since you don't have any imperfections at all they're trying to come for your insecurities.", he'd whisper while looking into your eyes. "Look baby, to me you're beautiful, no matter what. Those people are just jealous that I love you.", he'd add with a smile on his face which would make you smile too. There wouldn't be many more words shared, but he would hold you all night long kissing you here and there showing you that he actually meant what he said.

Woozi

You would work part time at a restaurant as a waiter while still being in college and as much as you loved your job, there would always be people who were trying to ruin your whole time there. There would always be some custumers who would make stupid jokes about your looks and since you weren't allowed to be mean you had to just ignore it and act as if you didn't hear eventhough you did hear every single insult and joke. At first you were able to deal with it pretty good, you never really cared about other people and their opinions unless they were close to you, but after some time you'd start thinking about all the jokes and look into the mirror, suddenly hating what you were seing. Every curve would stand out to you much more than before and every imperfection suddenly was so visible. After you'd be done with your shift you'd make sure to quickly leave the place, you would put your earphones in and listen to music trying to distract yourself from the toxic thoughts. Once you'd be in the bus which would bring you home, someone suddenly sent you a text and for a second you were able to properly forget those thoughts, Jihoon texted you and asked you to come over to his studio so you could listen to his new track and give him some feedback. You'd get off the bus on time to be able to get to his studio pretty fastly. Once you entered the building and were able to go through some security and managers you finally arrived at Jihoons studio. He was too focused on his computer to notice you which would make you smile a little. You would hug him from behind which would make him flinch and look at you with a shocked expression, but his expression would soften once he'd realize that it was you. "Hi..." "Hello...", you'd kiss his cheek softly which would make him smile brightly. You would sit down on a chair next to him and start talking about some random things, he'd ask you about your day which would bring up all the thoughts again and your mood would change pretty quickly which would worry him. "Is everything okay? What happened at work?", he'd ask softly while scanning your face with his eyes. "Nothing particularly... I just don't feel good..." "What, why?" "They all make fun of me...", you'd simply whisper and look away from his eyes onto your hands. "Why would they make fun of you?", Jihoon would be immensely confused as to why someone would ever make fun of you, in his eyes you'd be perfection. "Because I'm chubby... I mean, they're right, I am chubby... but it still hurts, you know? It makes me feel ugly... the way they talk about me", you'd whisper nervously unconsciously covering your legs with your jacket, trying to hide your thick thighs. He wouldn't know how to react at first, he wouldn't be really good at expressioning his thoughts with words so he'd be lost for a second. He would take your hand in his and move closer to you. "But... you know that you're not ugly, right?", he'd ask softly, after you wouldn't really react to that he'd sigh and shake his head. "You know... I didn't know you could be that blind...", he'd suddenly say which would make you giggle a little since you didn't expect him to joke around. "I'm not blind" "You obviously are, otherwise you wouldn't think you're ugly.", he wouldn't really say sentimental things, he'd rather try to just make you feel better and try to make you understand that your thoughts were silly and that you were actually pretty. After that night he would make sure to give you more subtle compliments about your looks, I'm soft uwu jejejdje.

You and Seokmin would be in the mall shopping for random things, he would be looking for some new trainers and just hoodies while you were looking for a nice dress to wear for the wedding of one of your friends. You would walk around the mall hand in hand, casually talking about random things and joking around like always. After Seokmin was able to get everything he wanted it was your turn to look for dresses which already would stress you out. You never really liked going shopping because you didn't like seeing things that seemed pretty to you only for them to look horrible on you. But since you we're with Seokmin you felt a little more comfortable with everything, his presence alone made you feel much more at ease and lighthearted, but there still was some nervousness in your stomach which you tried to ignore. You guys would be in a nice shop for clothes just looking around, once in a while Seokmin would exclaim that 'this dress would look BOMB on you' or 'if you don't try this dress I'll sue you'. He would make you chuckle a lot and you'd actually follow his recommendations and pick out the dresses he liked. After a while Seokmin would be at the other side of the shop leaving you alone looking for dresses while he was looking for some nice accessoirs for you. Suddenly there would be some girls that were looking for dresses too, looking at you with judging expressions. You grew more and more insecure and your heart dropped once you heard them talking about you, they were making fun of your size and how you would probably look ugly in all of the dresses. After a while you put the dresses down and walked away from the girls looking for you boyfriend. Seokmin would look at you with a confused expression once he'd see you without the dresses. "Huh? Why did you put away the dresses, baby?" "They'd look ugly on me either way...", you'd whisper which would make him look at you really sadly. "What?? Noo baby they wouldn't... I bet they would look gorgeous on you...", he'd then try to understand why you suddenly were like that and after you explained to him why you were acting this way he would look at you with a shocked expression. "Why would someone be so mean?", he then would proceed to take your hand and go to the place where you left your dresses. "Please try them on baby" "ahh... I don'g know.." "for me?", who could say no to Seokmin? You'd give in pretty quickly and get into the changing cabine. After you got dressed you shyly got out of the cabine and that's where it would start. Seokmin would literally have heart eyes and hype you up so much oh my god. He would be so excited and bring stupid pick up lines which would make you laugh. He would also probably at one point grab his heart and theatrically look away from you in a 'I can't handle your beauty anymore' kinda way. He would give you so many compliments and compare you to flowers and cliche thingies like that. He would end up buying you probably every dress you tried on plus accessories. At the end of the day you would feel more confident than ever. Ugh we all need someone that hypes us up like Seokmin would.

Seungkwan

Seungkwan and you would be laying on his bed while you were on your Instagram just scrolling through your timeline. Seungkwan would be watching some stupid youtube videos with his head on your lap. After a while you decided to post something on instagram since you didn't post anything in weeks. You chose a picture after asking Seungkwan for his opinion. You uploaded a selfie of you and Seungkwan and then continued going through your social medias. After a while there were some comments, mostly really sweet ones and compliments but also hate comments, which you were pretty used to by now. Dating an idol has its ups and downs and haters seemed to be a big down. You became pretty good at ignoring those stupid trolls but some comments really got to you. Soon you decided to put away your phone and just start petting Seungkwans hair. "I look really good in this selfie", he'd say dreamily which would make you chuckle softly. "When do you not look good?", you'd say which would make him smile brightly at you and put his phone away too. He would lay down properly next to you and let you cuddle him like you'd always do once he'd be next to you, but this time you hesitated a little which would make him frown confusedly. "Hey, why were you hesitating, don't you wanna cuddle?", he'd ask offended which would make you giggle and shake your head. "No it's not that..." "What then?", he'd look at you with a still offended expression on his face. You would sigh and shake your head once again. "Doesn't matter, it's stupid...", you'd say which would make him more serious now. "Is everything okay? I know you're smiling but you can't hide from me that you're actually uncomfortable right now.", he'd softly say which would make you bite your lip. "Do you... do you think I'm fat?", you'd ask after a while which would make him frown. "No, you're curvy" "do you think that's attractive?" "Of course I think so... is it because I only complimented myself and not you? I didn't mean to be mean, you obviously look extremely pretty too on that picture!", you would start giggling at his innocence and cuteness and shake your head. "Noo it's not because of that... it's just the comments..", you'd whisper, he'd now nod knowingly finally understanding what's going on. "You really shouldn't look at the comments anymore y/n... the internet can be a great place, but it can also be really destructive... they make you believe things that aren't actually true..", he'd say while taking you into his arms. After a few minutes of silence he'd speak up again. "You know... I'm also a little insecure about my body and everything... Reading comments and everything wasn't a good decision, it really hurt me and made me less confident in myself.. I don't want to see the same thing happening to you...", he'd whisper genuinely worried which would make you look at him. "I know me telling you you're beautiful and everything doesn't really help... it's just... I want you to know I'm there for you and you should know that I would do everything to keep you away from those thoughts and insecurities...", he'd say with so much love in his voice, which would bring tears into your eyes. "How do you deal with it...?", you'd ask him which would make him smile softly. "I mean... dating the most beautiful person on earth really boosted my confidence..", he'd say which would make you giggle and rub the tears off your eyes. "You're an idiot.." "I know.. I'm there for you, okay? I understand you and I will support you, no matter what..."

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ellus986 · 5 years

Text

Always knew you / chapter thirteen

Joe Mazzello x reader

Warning: swearing, fighting, smoking.

Comment: Y/N is corrently 22, while Joe is 35.

Summary: you knew Joe all of your life, and as best friends you two always find the way back to each other.

You are on a plane to London where two of your best friends are waiting for you to go looking for your wedding dress. You are a little scared they want you to make you have something fancier than you want, but you know they want the best for you.

As you get to them you hug them, and you see the defiant look on Ben’s face, but he hugs you like a hundred times before. Lucy starts to speak so fast you can’t even catch up, and you are already in one of the lots of shops she want to see today, and tomorrow. The owner ask you a bunch of question about you, and your wedding, your fiancé and when she is finished she runs away just to get back with atleast 10 dresses. All was good looking, and even your style, she knew what she is doing, but none of then was the one. You thank the lady and head to the next one.

When you walk in you see the lady’s eyes widen as she sees not just Lucy, but Ben. She kisses Lucy, and turns to you. “Hi, I’m Erika!”

“Hi, I’m Y/N!” You shake her hand.

“You are the bride right?” She asks, and when you nod she continues. “If I can have one personal question: how did you get these famous friends on hand like this?” She giggle.

“She got the first one wraped on her finger 22 ago, now she is marrying him!” Laughs Luc.

“Who is your fiancé?” She asks.

“Joseph Francis Mazzello III. “ you answer with so much pride in your voice.

“You mean Joe Mazzello who was playing John Deacon with them?” You see her jaw droping.

“Yes, that’s my boy!” You laugh. “I know him from the first day of my life...” you answer the unspoken question.

“Lucky girl!” She nods.

“Yeah I know!” You smile at her.

She ask a lot more questions just to find you some dresses you would like. You start to try on some, they are beautiful, but still none of them make you feel you find the one. Ben is still acts like a child who’s toy has been taken.

“Not like my options are really important but I think you look beautiful.” He says with a hurted child’s face.

“Benjamin Jones! Can we talk in private?” You shout at him.

“Yes mom!” He follows you to the next room.

“What is the matter with you?” You ask really feeling like a mother right now.

“Nothing...” he says, but as he sees your face continues. “Okay, it hurts Joe chosed Rami not me” he admits.

“Have you thinking why?” You ask with softened face now.

“Yeah, and I can’t figure it out...” you see how his face is shows all of his emotions.

“He never told me, but I know why.” You say.

“Yes?” His eyes are little hopefull.

“Yes. Have you thinking about what if we are having a child again, and this time around we can hold our baby in our arms too. You all good friends but every title is a one man job. Joe knows Rami 10 years or so now, they were friends before you two even knew eachother. You have a special bond with him, there is no doubt about that, but can you imagine if he chose you to be his best man, and a year later or so you will be chosen to be the godfather of our child how would it make feel everyone else? Like there is just you, and he doesn’t even count them as friends. I’m sure he wanted to be fair with everyone, and you are the first one he would trust with his son or daughter. “ you place your hand on his shoulder.

“You think?” He asks with bright eyes.

“Silly, I’m sure even we never spoke about it!” You laugh.

“Have can you be so sure then?” He asks.

“I just know him, and I know I would chose you to take care of my child if something happens to me, even if you are a goofball!” You giggle.

“Really?” You see him smile for the first time since you get down for the plane.

“Yes, Benjamin!” You nod.

“So you have bigger rules for me?” He asks,and you know he want to tell it to everyone.

“I guess, but it need to be our secret.” You start. “First of all you should not hurt your friends feelings, and second of all we never spoke about it with Joe, it is not a made choice it is what I feel, and think!” You say with a face you thought you would never use until you have a child.

“Okay...” he nods with sadness in his eyes.

“It will be our secret, don’t be childish!” You poke him, and he suprise you with a big, warm hug. “What for?”

“Just can’t imagine better wife for my Buddy!” He kisses your cheek before you two head back to the room where Lucy, and Erika are waiting for you.

“Everything is alright?” Ask Lucy.

“Everything is alright, Luc!” Nods Ben.

You try on a lot of dresses lastly a mermaid dress that you like the most, but still can’t decide you find the one or not, even your friends are very conserned it is the one. You thank Erika and left to go to the next shop.

As you start to try on new clothes you cannot not think on Erika’s last dress, so as your 4th dress is on you and you look at yourself in the mirror you turn to your friends. “We need to go back to Erika!”

“We were right, weren’t we?” Cheers Lucy.

“Sorry, I think I find the dress in the last shop. “ you turn to the shopassistent.

“It is more common than you think!” Comes the answer.

You get back into your regular dress and than head back to Erika. Her face is full of suprise when she sees all of you again.

“You left something here?” She asks.

“Yes, my wedding dress!” You smile at her.

“You came back to get a dress from here?” Her jaw drops again.

“Yes! I fall in love with the last one, it seems I just needed time to realise I felt in love!” You say and both of your friends are choking in laughter.

“What is so funny about it?” Asks Erika.

“Uhmm, maybe that they knew that we are in love when I first meet them, but we just faced our feelings this summer” you answer.

“Wait, you just get together in the summer and you already enganged?” She asks.

“Yeah, it was building up in us for so long, but things got real in this summer.” You answer.

“So it was love for a long time?” She asks.

“It was always love, but it was romantic more than 4 years now, we were just to afraid of losing eacother we never made a move.” You nod.

“I’m happy you finally find the way around!” She smiles.

_____________________________________________

You are in a bar as you have one whole day to sober up after your measurement was taken before planed. You drink the first shot and Ben is watching you if you really drinking it.

“I’m not pregnant! I’m drinking with you guys!” You laugh at him.

“Are you sure?” He asks.

“Yes, I’m sure!” You laugh. “I haven’t meet Joe since I had my period!” You wishper.

Lucy laughs so hard on this, but you can’t decide on the TMI answer or Ben’s wide open eyes on you.

“As go...” you look at him with your eyebrows raising, and he changes his words. “Ood friend of yours, I allow you to drink than!”

“How good you are!” You laugh with Luc.

Your phone start to ring, and Lucy singing along again, just like last time.

“Hi, Silly! How was your day?” You pick it up.

“Hi, my love! It was good, and yours?” Joe asks.

“It was great!” You nod, with a big smile on your face.

“You are drinking, am I right?” He asks again.

“What if the answer is yes?” You ask back.

“Nothing, I’m happy you are having fun!” He giggles.

“Than it is a yes.” You nod.

“And what’s about the dress?” He throws an another question.

“Ooh we got it!” You chuckle.

“Really?” He sounds so happy.

“Yes, I just needed time to realise I love it” you laugh, as Ben and Lucy too.

“What is so funny you all laugh about?” He sounds confused.

“You don’t see it? I needed time to realise I’m in love with the dress, just like with you!” You point it out.

“Ooh, it is funny?” He asks.

“Don’t be huffish! It is, as you needed time too!” You smirk.

“Okay, you won, it is funny!” He says.

Ben gets the phone out of your hand. “I miss you too, Buddy!” He Waits for the answer you can’t hear. “Yes, yes I know we need to keep our love a secret now you are marrying her!” He tries not to giggle. “Yes, yes I know, I’m on it!” He Waits a minute than follows up with this: “ You will have her for the rest of your life! Tonight is ours, good night!” He hungs up on Joe. “What the heck is this?” He asks as he sees your phone’s background.

“Joe, my niece, my nephew and me!” You smile at him with bright eyes. “We were looking for them for the night, when my brother and his wife came home, they looked over us, and she felt she can’t go without taking a picture...”

Lucy gets the phone out of his hands and looks at the photo where you are sleeping with the kids between you. “You would look just so fucking lovely as parents!” She nods. “Do you... do you trying? Or waiting a little bit?” She asks with hesitation.

“We haven’t speak about it yet...” you start. “We are not really on the protective side of the things, but did not said out loud we are trying or anything like that...” you blush.

“So you are enjoying life.” Says Ben.

“Yes, very well!” You giggle.

“To much information!” Shouts Ben.

“I thought we past that with speaking about my period!” You giggle.

“Yeah, me too!” Laughs Lucy with her head falling back.

You get up, and get an another round of shots and more drinks, and as you turn back to the table you see some young girls around your friends. You walk there and put the drinks down. Even your friends aknowleged your present the girls just tried to ignore you.

“Sorry, I would like to sit back between my friends!” You knock on their shoulder.

“Sorry and who are you?” One of them ask with a face that tells you she looks down on you.

“Oohm, best friend of these two, plus Rami, and ofcourse Gwilym, oh and Joe’s fiancé. Was it a satisfying answer?” You say with some kind of anger on your face.

“She is our woman...” laughs Lucy so hard. “You should respect her, I mean less than 4 months and you call her a Mazzello, so...”

“You rush that too?” She asks with one raising eyebrow.

“Rushing what?” Your jaw drops.

“You weren’t really much together and he already proposed, and you will get married in months, are you pregnant or what?” She continues.

“Excuse me? You mean after knewing him for all of my life I’m rushing anything?” You step closer to her, even she is way taller than you.

“Anyway, I don’t know what he likes in you!” She walks away and the only reason you don’t go after her that Ben is holding your wrist.

“Relax!” He says.

“Relax?” You turn back to him with fire in your eyes.

“Yeah, don’t give her the power!” Nods Luc.

“Yeah, you are right!” You close your eyes to calm down, and than sit between them again.

You drink maybe to much amount of shots and drinks, but you have a great time with your friends so being drunk is worth it. You go to the toilet, and you are about to fix your hair, when a girl looks at you in shook.

“You are Joe Mazzello’s girlfriend! Oh my God!” She smiles at you with bright eyes.

“Yeah she is his slut!” Comes from the door.

You turn and your mind is just turns into red. That bitch just standing in the door, looking at you like you are a piece of Shit. “Fuck you!” You start to run, and as you bump into her both of you wreck out and land on the floor. You try to punch her in the face but she lift her head perfectly into your. You slap her face as it goes back, and he punches you just before you do the same. Some punches are going around before someone is holding you, while trying to get you down from her.

You hear Ben’s voice in your ears. “Stop Y/N, just stop it!” You stop as he asked and you step up. There is not much people in the pub so just a couple of folks are watching. You are happy you don’t see any phones a or cameras around.

“Sorry!” You turn to Ben and Lucy.

“It is okay, what happend?” Asks Luc.

“She called me Joe’s slut and my mind just shoot down.” You say, and feel Ben get tense next to you.

“You are lucky I don’t fight with girls, but speak one more time likes this about any of my friends and I will make you an exception!” He looks at the girl who is about to get up.

The bartander comes and asks you and the girls to leave the bar now, and the three of you do, but you can hear the girls whining before they are put out too.

“I’m sorry guys, I ruined our night!” You feel so bad now.

“Ooh come on, she deserved it! I’m happy you did it so I did not needed!” Ben kisses you on the cheek. “Oh God, you are bleeding!” He says and Lucy is immediately stands in front of you and looks at your head.

“Okay, we need to make sure it is clean, so lets go home!” She says and get a cab.

As you get to her apartment she gets you into the bathroom and sits you in the edge of the bathtube. “Stay still, but it is goning to hurt!” She says with a smile that looks not that happy you are used to. It is burning as she is cleaning all the 4 wound you got tonight. “Sorry Honey, it looks better now!” She nods and you look in the mirror. You have two wound on your forhead and one-one on your cheeks.

“Hope it heals before the wedding, and won’t leave any marks!” You wishper.

“It won’t it is not that bad, just the purple skin that makes it looking worst!” Nods Lucy.

“You look beautiful anyways!” Says Ben from the door.

________________________________________

You are about to suprise Joe in his apartment after your short trip to London. You open the front door so quitely he does not notice you are home. You see him on the balcony in a smoke cloud. You open the glass door, and see him frightened wincing. “Hi!” You say, like you haven’t seen the cigarette in his hand.

“Hi!” He tries to hide it behind himself but then as he turns his jaw just drops open, and he is totally forgets he does not wanted you to know he is smoking. “What happend Silly?” He asks while smoothing some hair out of your face with the hand he holds the cigarette in.

“Someone called me your slut...” you pull your shoulder. “Don’t look at me like that, that bitch looked at me like I’m a piece of shit, she was a fucker when she get some pictures with Ben and Luc saying I was rushing everything, and later she called me your slut and my mind just shoot down!”

“Oh Silly, but are you okay?” He asks.

“Yes!” You nod before huging him. “And can you tell me what it is in your hand?” You wishper in his ear.

“Hey, Hey, hey we should focus on the fighting woman here!” He chuckles in your neck.

“So since when you are smoking again?” You ask.

“It is a hard time okay? I haven’t seen you in almost 2 weeks, work, wedding...” he moans.

“Yeah, okay.” You nod.

“You are not mad at me?” He asks with raising eyebrows.

“Not mad. Sad? Maybe... but it is your life and even it is not healthy you look sexy with it...” you bit your bottom lip. Looking back and fort between his eyes and his lips with the cigarette between them. He looks at your lips as he lets a cloud out, and you grab his waist harder as you feel more turned on. He kisses you, and you know you are lost. You jump on him, and after he trampled the cigarette he gets you inside to push you in the couch.

To be continued...

@spacedust1124719 @mrsmazzello @sam-mercurry-sixx

#joe mazzello fan fic #joe mazzello fan fiction #joe mazzello fanfic #joe mazzello #joe mazzello x reader #joseph francis mazzello iii #joseph mazzello #ben hardy #lucy boyton #bohrap fanfic #bohemian rhapsody fan fic #bohrap fanfiction

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armada-of-ships-against-antis · 5 years

Text

I dunno what to do anymore

[tw: self-harm, mental illness, non-existent self-esteem]

I can’t deal with the shit that my life is turning into right now.

The next meltdown and crash is just waiting around the corner and I dunno if I can take it so shortly after the last. Since the year began I feel like I am in a treadmill constantly. I couldn’t properly relax anymore, I got sleep problems, I felt tired all the time. Not even 2 weeks of vacation were enough for my batteries to get charged properly. Not even near it! Yeah Good Omens gives me some energy to get through my days. It gives me some hope.

But seriously, I knew for a long time that my job was eating me a little bit. I thought: Hey it’s okay to feel like this when it’s january. The most busy month of the year was just behind me and second most busy was happening right now while I was dealing the anniversary of my best friends death. I tried to be hopefull that after this stressfull time would be over, I could go back to normal. Then my boss took parental leave.

It fucked me up deeply to be in charge like that, to work more and more hours. My therapist diagnosed me with burnout and middle to heavy depressions and mild anxiety problems after I returned to her in March. I kept fucking working, why? Because I knew my other colleague was still fighting cancer and I didn’t want to feel like me taking a leave could kill him (I lost my best friend who was a work colleague and I also lost a boss of me only 2 years ago) After the parental leave was over, I thought it would become better. It got better. A little bit. I came back to my feet, wrestled down my anxiety and kept the depression at bay. Then the colleague had to leave and help another shop. We were again one man short. And let me tell you, that my boss is not exactly the one who has good organization or actually works a lot. He’s now away again, for his second parental leave this year. Another month.

I thought: shit, Shit, SHIT! I have to make it through this and then after that we will be the three of us together. It will become better again.

Except it wont. The work colleague who was a real help.... he’s not coming back to our team. Superiors decided he was needed elsewhere. When he told me this on the phone at work, I went to the back of the shop and just hammered and slammed against the metal door. My arm is still red, hot and a bit swollen but doesn’t hurt anymore. I broke down. Crying. In the middle of the day.

I realized, it won’t become better.

I realized I want to punch the door again and again until I break my hand or arm. I want to slam my head against it until I pass out. I just want to go home, cry and never come back to that hellhole. I realized I want to hurt myself badly. Not for the feeling, not to feel pain, but because then I would have a “real” reason to stay at home. I wouldn’t be seen as weak, if I had a broken arm. But having a Burnout? I saw how another colleague was talked about after he had dropped out for the exact same thing. It was horrible.

I realized I have to get away. It won’t become better. In fact the chances are high not even my boss comes back after the month, because he loathes the job as well.

The thing is... I’m so fucking afraid of getting away. I’m already doubting myself again who would ever want to take me and offer me a job again. I’m already thinking of myself being of no use, my self-esteem is dead by the hundredths time. I don’t know where I should go. Where is my safe space? Where can I work without burning myself out within 2 or 3 years? I don’t know the answer and that scares the shit out of me. It scares me that even after some hours, I still want to hurt myself to have an excuse because I feel like to much of a coward to put my foot down and just stay at home. I am scared of the scale of how I fucking cannot deal with this mess. I’ve talked to a friend earlier and it didn’t help one bit.

The only way I can think of right now in this moment to deal with it is... Listening to Seether FMLYHM (Fuck me like you hate me) on full volume, damaging my hearing some more while trying to write something terrible, something painful, something destroying with Crowley and Aziraphale. I hope this will help me channel my emotions into something less harmful for me... Wish me luck that I will pass out soon over writing something horrible.

#personal #self hate #burnout #depression #anxiety #insomnia #self-harm

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fumikomiyasaki · 2 years

Note

You could do💋 for any of our ships of you want

Interrupted kiss

Occupied in student council work and busy with Dragiselles business, Inessa sighed working herself through the papers in the Dorms own magic library... her pen circling as the Ice queen grew annoyed being distracted by her phone... she did so much work yet still she felt the distance between her and Dragiselle grew distant... maybe she should finally give up... lingering in this thought a familar face entered the room.

"Thalassa you need something?"

"Just taking some work load of you."

"Why? Its my work to handle. " Her tone was annoyed, mainly cause she didn't want to bother others.

"Thats also not the whole truth... some of it is the dorm leaders too... so its the dorms work."

"Tch... "

Inessa sighed as Thalassa sat next to her and worked with her.

"I ask again like I did before... you must have a bigger reason why you care so much about me than just me being the Vice leader."

Being direct about it Inessa saw her bright red face avoiding a gaze.

"You see... its cause I... like like you... but I am aware of your crush as well."

Something that left the Ice queen flabbergasted yet... all the feeling of worry, resentment and previous doubts felt fading.... maybe this was the better option than linger on an unrequited crush... and so she silently took her hand... looking at her.

"But... what if we try?"

"Huh?"

Inessa drew a little closer to her, both of their faces leaning more and more to another -

"GET BACK HERE YOU!"

Suddenly the library door bursted open and Stellaluna entered with Taron chasing after some new invention of Tarons. Quickly leaving the two girls in an emberassing mess withdrawing from another... with a sigh Inessa got up and freezed the invention. Scolding the both of them while Thalassa looked after her... face still red and in awe...

She left a note if they wanted to meet up later to continue where they left up for now... hoping that Inessa would take the invitation.

After class Carol was glad to meet up with Kaminari to spar again... since he trained her she slightly got better at fending of some of the more annoying and pushy students herself and it just felt to her like a safespace each time she visited him...

On that day he noticed however that she pushed herself past her limits the past days, getting not enough rest and with one block stopped her...

"Your body may be here but not your head, for now you should rest... the usual?"

She gave a firm nod... "Guess you are right, maybe a tea would do me well about right now..."

Sitting down, chatting a little and feeling a bit more rested, a smile returned on her face, one he loved seeing on her, warm welcoming, there was a reason many said looking at her it was like the embodiment of hopefull. Yet he did notice some small wounds on her legs.

"Let me look at this if you don't mind me."

"I-I... sure."

Her Face lit up red from how close he was treating her leg... she grew nervous, her heartbeat quick... untill eventually a sudden noise made her panic, tumbling lightly untill both tripped down to the ground... as she opened her eyes he layed on top of her leaning close to her face only inches away... however despite the emberassment none of them moved away... quite the opposite to Carol it was a good opportunity to lean in... but as she did the sudden noise returned and they got interrupted... the sudden noise being someone disturbing...

Gregory used one of his portals to stop by NRC and Seek her out.

"Urgh... what is it Greg?"

"Ya need to help me.... a surprise test is coming up."

"Can't that wait till later?"

"Nope."

Kaminari noticed her frustration especially cause she been robbed of a nice moment with him yet took her hand so she could calm.

"Its fine... we can spend some time later."

"Thank you."

And so she followed after Gregory in the portal... yet her thoughts still lingered back to that moment...

#twisted wonderland oc #twst ocs #twst oc #disney twst #twst #twisted wonderland ocs #twisted wonderland original character #twisted wonderland #inessa winter #inessa x thalassa #carol ann #carol x kaminari

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power-and-controll · 2 years

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1: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?

At the moment, I am afraid not.

2: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused?

Taken.

3: What if I told you that you were pretty?

I would say thank soy.

4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”?

Nope

5: Are you interested in anyone right now?

Yes.

6: What are you looking forward to in the next week?

Holiday

7: Do you want to be single?

No.

8: Did you go out or stay in last night?

Stay in as I was working in the morning.

9: How late did you stay up last night?

Until 11 pm

10: Can you recall the last time you realized you liked someone a lot?

I still like that person.

11: Last three things you had to drink?

Coffee, beer and water

12: Have you pretended to like someone?

13: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it?

14: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months?

Yes

15: Is it hard for you to get over someone?

I wouldn’t know as I never went through it.

16: Think back five months ago, were you single?

17: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon?

I was at work.

18: Hold hands with anyone this week?

Yes

19: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?

Probably yes.

20: What would you name your future daughter?

Iris or Rea.

21: Do you miss anyone?

Of course, my family and friends.

22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night?

Lol no

23: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?

No.

24: Are you good at hiding your feelings?

I wouldn’t say so.

25: Have you ever cried from being so mad?

Oh yes

26: Who did you last see in person?

My bf

27: Are you listening to music right now?

28: What is something you currently want right now?

Go to sleep

29: What is the last thing you said out lot?

God I am tired

30: How is your heart lately?

Good

31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?

32: Are you wearing socks?

Yes

33: What do people call you?

My name?

34: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

35: Are there any stressful situations in your life?

There is but nothing I can’t handle

36: Who did you last share a bed with?

37: Did you do something bad today?

I wouldn’t say so

38: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?

Today

39: Do you get stressed out easily?

Pretty much

40: Will you sing today?

41: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t?

Yes

42: Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone?

My mum, my friend and my bf

43: Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance?

44: What are you listening to right now?

Nothing

45: What is wrong with you right now?

Nothing

46: What is on your wrists right now?

Lol

47: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing?

In a shop

48: What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider?

Always chocolate

49: Do you make wishes at 11:11?

Sometimes

50: Are you a good artist?

Lol no

51: Love really is a beautiful thing huh?

It actually is

52: Do you miss the way things were six months ago?

No, it’s way better now

53: Ever been on a golf cart?

54: Do you have trust issues?

Well yeah if I don’t know the person well obviously

55: Ever stayed up all night on the phone, with who?

56: Do you own something from Hot Topic?

57: Do you use chap stick?

58: Have you ever slapped someone in the face?

Yes

59: Do you have a little sister?

60: Have you ever been to New York?

61: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

100% yes

62: Have you hugged someone within the last week?

Yes

63: What were you doing at midnight last night?

I was asleep

64: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

Big yes

65: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

Yes

66: Were your last three kisses from the same person?

Yes

67: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days?

Yes

68: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?

Depend on my mood really

69: Will next Friday be a good one?

Hopefully it will

#me #personal

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captawesomesauce · 8 years

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Thoughts at 3am

Mystic has been my rock.. I always came home because I had a reason to come home.. he was that reason.

Now that reason will be gone and I am contemplating my wanderlust

Before he got sick, we traveled the world together, nowhere was too far, nothing was out of reach… we snuck into Australia, we went to Haiti, we wound up in Duluth MN for a girl with really pretty eyes….

But these last few years, he hasnt been able to travel, or be by himself.

I didn’t even realize how long it’s been, it felt like just yesterday we were jetsetting around…

I didn’t even miss it at all because I had some great memories… and I was so happy to just sit in my chair and hold him :)

I am, above all else, a man of simple pleasures… and nothing ever made me happier than sitting in my chair with him!

But now, now I am starting to wonder… the new quarter starts next week…. I used to go to class and come home as soon as I could because of him… now… I have no reason to.

I could fuck off for days and as long as I made it back by class time, who the fuck cares? I could run away to a study abroad program for a year or 10, and who gives a shit?

I do not feel anything yet… no need to explore, no feeling of cagedness like I used to, no excitement…

I feel nothing but him in my arms as I type this, a feeling I love and have loved for over half my life.

But these next few days, these next few weeks…. I know that I will feel a rollercoaster of emotions and I will be torn a thousand ways and nothing will be the same.

I think back to Sally, how I took care of her day in and day out and what it was like that night she died. I woke up that morning excited, happy, we were going to finally start getting the ball rolling on getting married, and the docs were really hopefull and excited that the new meds would help with the MS. She was even speaking better. For weeks and months, I did everything from wash her, to help her eat, dress her, to even learning how to brush her teeth and hair.

And that night she was gone.

I adjusted fast. I went into autopilot mode. I got out of bed, did my stuff, came home, laid down with mystic… sometimes I slept, often I didn’t. I was angry, and that anger filled the void that she had occupied.

With mystic, I wonder what will fill the void… because I’m not angry…. I will be sad, I will be hurt, I will miss him so very much, but I know with time, well, time fills voids.

I know that I should go see my mother. I might drive out there for a long weekend. I haven’t seen her in years.

I can do that now.

I will also take down the cameras in my room. I won’t need them anymore.

I will put all of his stuffed animals and toys in a box…. I will keep them… Maybe some day I can get pass them on or throw them away, but not for a while. The box will be fine.

I will have to remove the reminders from my phone, morning meds, afternoon meds, night meds, fluids, reminders to buy food and litter, spreadsheets to track the stuff, barcode scanners to track what foods he liked and didn’t like, catnip puzzles and treats all over for him to explore and find, tunnels for him to play in behind the desks and behind the couch.

I’ll finally be able to close the window and blinds. He hated them being closed because he loved to sit on the ledge and look out and feel the clean air.

When Sally passed away, it was easy. I grabbed mystic, I flew back to the united states, and I left everything behind. We lived in a house her mother owned, Sally had lived there 8 years prior to me moving in, my 2 years amounted to nothing much, but her family took care of it all… it’s what they wanted, it was for the best. I ended up back in the states, and taking care of dad soon after.

I’ll be 40 this year, life has a nasty habit of repeating itself.

I think when you have had the experiences I have had, it warps you in some ways. For me, I treated every day as if there was no tomorrow. Too many times, there wasn’t one. How many nights did I go to bed thinking everything was fine, only to be woken in the middle of the night, handed a box and said “you’re moving in with ___, pack what you can and get out?” Fuck… way too many times. How many times did I lose friends while deployed? They were there that morning, but gone that day. How many times did I start a shift thinking it was a nice day, only to have to deal with situations that ripped my heart out … from child suicides to parents OD’ing with little kids running around, or spending 45 mins cutting open the wreck of a van because you can hear a kid crying, but … we were too slow. That day that I woke up and knew Sarah was gone. That night that I lost Sally and they told me they were sorry, they didn’t understand what happened, no one understood, … I didn’t understand either. I just felt angry.

Thats why with Mystic, it didn’t matter if i had homework, or wanted to go and do ____… i hugged him, I kissed him, I held him. Cause I didn’t know if I’d get a tomorrow, I just knew there were a finite number of them and I made each one count. And I took pics, and I shared with friends all over the world stories of his shenanigans and I made the most of it.

I have no regrets. :) I just wish it could have lasted another 20+ years.

And now, now I have to figure out what I’m going to do with the next 20+ years without him…

PETS SHOULD NEVER DIE, THEY SHOULD JUST TURN INTO STUFFED ANIMALS YOU CAN KEEP AND TAKE WITH YOU EVERYWHERE FOREVER

#thoughts #vet

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9myself8-blog · 7 years

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Mad Queen -Chapter 1

Hope you will enjoy it 😊 *** (Charmings apartment) Regina, Snow, David, Zelena, Emma and Henry were sitting at the kitchen counter. "Perfect" Regina said, "now we have three villains on our heads." "Henry did you find something?" Emma asked Henry who was looking for some answers in his book,nodding as no she continued " what about Gold he was surprised when you told him with whom we are dealing? " she asked Regina. " He told that he is looking for something. " " Hey guys, everything will be okay we are together and we will break through it as always " Snow said with a hopefull smile. Before someone could say something back Regina's phone rang. Everyone was looking at her with raised eyebrows. " What is it?" David asked. "It's Gold, he thinks he found something" Regina answered. " And what is it?" Emma asked inpatient. " He wants to meet at granny's, where is the answer of our question." " Then let's go" Henry said. (Granny's) "Gold we are here, what is it?" Emma asked inpatient of finding out the answer. " It ?..no, is she" he was cut off by Emma. " She !? Don't tell me it is a villain again!." " For me yes but for you she's just a hope and she will help with our problem." " Then who is she? " Regina asked. " Your daughter Regina " everyone was shocked as well as Regina. *** It was a month now since Daniel died, living with another man and his perfect daughter was a torture, but what could she say -nothing - this was a life that you never will wish for someone. " Good morning your Highness " said a maid who was opening the curtains. Slowly opening eyes from the shiny sun she felt something strange again, with all sleepy powers she run to the bathroom and threw up everything. For 5 days already this is happening. 'What is happening with me...maybe stress ' Regina thought, standing up she arrived in her chamber that was empty now, she saw a beautiful brown dress that was left for her on the chair, she quickly changed and suddenly the wind blew in the room when she turned she was shocked, he was standing in her room, without hesitation she asked. " Who the hell are you and how did you get in my room?" she was clenching her fists when she saw the smirk on his face. " I am Rumpelstiltskin, at your service" he said bowing, in shock she quickly asked. "Rumpelstiltskin... T-the Dark One?" after a second of silence she said again " but i didn't summoned you" " Of course no...I came by my own. I felt that you wanted my help" " I do not... From what you think so?" " Of course darling you need my help" now she raised an eyebrow in interest of what he will answer. He started to walk to her, she stept back until her back slam the makeup desk, but he didn't stop he raised his right hand and placed it on her belly, she slaped his hand. " What you think you are doing? " she raised her voice. " You need help with this " He made his glare back to her belly. " What are you talking about? " " Oh..You don't know. I ruined the surprise.. Haha.. How long have you been frowing up on mornings?" He asked raising his eyebrow. " Almost a week...b-but this is from stress because you see I'm here not by my wish but..." she was cut off by him. " Oh I know your story and this is not from stress trust me. " " You know...and what is this then...am I sick or what? " she started to panic. He looked at her with an evil smirk. " You are pregnant darling... Haha." " What? " Regina asked shocked. " As you heard " he smirked. " B-but that is impossible " she was cut off. " Everything is possible.. Haha. And I'm here to help you hide the precious child of yours, you see some more weeks and everything will be visible... " he was cut off. " I-i'm pregnant" with tears in the eyes she start smiling and touch her belly. " Didn't you hear me?" " Of course I do, but how you will help me, if I run away my mother will found out and kill my child as she did with it's father. " " Magic of course " he smirked. " Magic!? " she asked. " Yes darling, but you see every magic comes with a price." " And what you want?" she asked nervously. " Nothing more than this child to take care of him or her until everything will calm down." "But i want to grow my child" she said. " Oh no darling, you will see him." " Yes?" " Of course... Deal?" " Deal" she said happy. She then looked at her belly and then back and found that chamber was empty again. That day evening she was sitting in her bed with her hands on her stomach. Suddenly she started to cry. " I'm so sorry Daniel...I'm pregnant with your child" she said smiling. " I will protect her or him whatever it will be it's name will be Daniel... Daniel Colter-Mills." Days, weeks, months were passing, she started to fear of delivering this baby only with a midwife whose heart was ripped out by the Dark One. And at the end that day came. " On my count push....1,2,3,PUSH!!!" said the midwife. " Aaaa....I can't anymore" Regina cried in pain. " One more push, i can see the head" after another hour of pushing and screaming everything end. " Good job...It's a girl and it's perfect healthy ." " Oh my God " she started to cry when she saw her on her chest" she's so beautiful and she's mine" before she finished talking to her child the midwife exit the room. " Hey beautiful... Your name is Daniel and your my little happiness" her eyes began to tear when she saw her daughter's eyes. " Look who opened eyes. You are so beautiful. It's incredible your eyes are mine and your father's brown-green. You are perfect and I love you already.... " before she could end her sentence everything gone dark, because of someone punching her in face she went unconscious. The next morning was terrible all the midwife could say it was " The queen will never be happy again " all she could see was a terrifying queen who was keeping her died daughter in her arms and who was crying to pain in throat. From that day everything was bad the queen became cold. That's how the Evil Queen was born. Years have past, Evil Queen have been tortured and murdered millions without any pain in her heart. It was a rainy day when she paid a visit to the Dark One. "What did you tell Belle?" he asked her angrily. " Nothing more than you destroyed her kingdom and killed her father. " " Where is she now?" He yelled at her. " She died" she said with a smirk. " How dare you..." he was cut off by the queen. " How dare you promise me to keep safe my daughter and then to wake up with her died in my hands?" she shout at him. " I did not see that coming, but look at you now, you are a queen everyone is fearing of" he smirked. " Whatever " she said leaving. ( The same day evening at the Dark One's castle) " Uncle Rumple?" the little girl asked. " Yes darling " " Can you read me a story for night " she begged with puppy eyes. " You are big for stories. Now go in your room and sleep" she nodded and with tears in her eyes run to her room. Too big room for a 8 year old girl. " I want you to be here mommy " she said crying" all I have from you it's just my name." The same time Rumpelstiltskin was reading a spell book in his library. " You will never find out that your precious Daniel is alive until you will cast my corse Regina or never...NEAHAHA!!! " (I'm sorry for grammar mistakes, this is my first writing😸😸).

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