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#i am now very fond of this song
pieofdeath · 4 months
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I don't know anything about this musical but
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Jim and Diana. To Me.
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rapha-reads · 9 months
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I used to have Sam Smith's Fire on Fire as a Malec song, and it still is, but I'm switching it to a main FirstPrince song too now. It's just perfect for them.
My mother said I'm too romantic She said, "You're dancing in the movies"
I'd like to think it's how you lean on my shoulder And how I see myself with you
I don't say a word But still, you take my breath and steal the things I know There you go, saving me from out of the cold
Fire on fire, would normally kill us With this much desire, together, we're winners They say that we're out of control and some say we're sinners But don't let them ruin our beautiful rhythms 'Cause when you unfold me and tell me you love me And look in my eyes You are perfection, my only direction
When we fight, we fight like lions But then we love and tell the truth We lose our minds in a city of roses We won't abide by any rules
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apricotluvr · 2 years
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November 2022
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dashiellqvverty · 8 days
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everyone always wants to talk about jenny nicholsons video essays and i’m like does ANYONE want to talk about the art of the mattress aka the sleep song. bc it plays in my head every time i see anything about her.
#sleep sleep sleep time to go to sleep now… it is night and i need to sleep while it is dark….#also of course it’ll be okay from the wedding episode <3#anyway she blocks me on twitter also. not as scandalous as it seems i just made a vague tweet abt friendship is witchcraft#and presumably got auto blocked#i wasn’t even calling her out either i think i was just like. reflecting on how the song from it was trending on tiktok#it’s an understandable reason to block people just. not wanting to engage with that part of her history i get that#this was also before her briny video so she hadn’t spoken on it in a long time#brony*#i genuinely like that video a LOT i think she is able to offer a really unique perspective on a lot of brony fandom culture#not just as a big name creator but as a long time fan of older mlp gens#and ofc what she had to say about the use of the g slur in fiw was like. i mean i believe her.#that she and the cocreator had no idea it was a slur and dropped that aspect when they realized it was.#like i didn’t know for a long time either. it’s not my place to be like ‘and that means it’s fine and not a problem’#and i don’t think it IS fine. but certainly everything she said about her intentions seems like. true and honest.#anyway brony stuff aside i hate her for the way she’s spoken about john boyega. no apologies for THAT huh!!!!#there are some things out there that ppl attribute to her that are fully fake/edited but#ppl will also say ‘oh she didn’t say anything bad about him that was fake’ no she very much did#but i’ve followed her on youtube since she was still actively making fiw like she had a bit with a pony oc that she did for a while#i remember the first star wars video when i was like oh she Is A Reylo#which on its own is like. ew but i’m still interested in her stuff#but you know. she crossed a line i think#and i do still find her stuff INTERESTING#and i am genuinely still fond of fiw though a lot of that is nostalgia#but like she has a lot of interesting stuff to say about mlp and obviously as a theme park fan she’s inescapable#and it pisses me off that she’s friends with other creators i DO like but also they know her as a person and i don’t#sorry this was gonna be a short post i just can’t talk about her a normal amount#i have to explain every thought i have about her#anyway i haven’t watched the star wars hotel vid but i probably will eventually#in like an incognito tab#r.txt
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a9saga · 1 year
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youtube
baekhyun - bambi // not too far a throwback but damn its suave as fuck
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astraystayyh · 5 months
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please fall before i fall
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jeongin x reader. best friends to lovers. they think it's unrequited love so a bit of angst. but they're just idiots. happy ending :))
summary : 3 times you saved jeongin's ass and the 1 time he saved yours (and ended up confessing along the way). holidays themed.
winter falls masterlist.
a.n. : i am very happy to finally post my first fic for the winter falls collab with my author xi hehehehhe i hope you'll enjoy this one <333 it's very light and fluffy she's the cute one!! oh and my song rec is i bet on losing dogs by mitski
One. 
Jeongin’s thumb hovers over your contact name, his rosy lip pulled tightly between his teeth. He hesitates for a few seconds before finally dialing your number. 
“What do you want?” you start which makes an incredulous snort escape his lips, a gust of powdery air materializing before his mouth from the cold. 
“How much do I have to pay you for you to come over?” 
“Ten thousand dollars. Cash,” you precise as he mouths along to what you say, already guessing what your next words would be. 
He's come to know you at an abhorrent speed these past few months; since you sat right next to him in your biology class, head buried in an oversized navy hoodie. Your perfume knocked into him like a gentle breeze— Sicilian lemon and white bouquet notes, nostalgic summer amid an unforgiven autumn. Memories of sticky fingers from molten ice cream and feet soles meeting the warm sand wafted in the air, alluring him to the kindness of a long-gone summer, you. 
That is why he talked to you at first, because you smelled nice, incredibly so. He tells you it's because he liked the pair of shoes you were wearing. 
“What if I brought you your favorite coffee?”
“Are you outside my dorm?” you squeal and he imagines you must be scrambling to get up, opening the curtains. He knows he's right as your figure materializes behind the window. “Hi,” you wave, a small giggle escaping your lips. He can't help the fond smile that draws upon his lips. 
He thinks he likes you a little. 
“Hey, please help me wrap my family’s gifts,” he pouts, waving the coffee in the air. Your order that he memorized by heart, not even meaning to, it was just natural for him to order you coffee every day, to remember your preferences as if they were his own. 
“Why are you here if we're going to your dorm anyways?” you laugh, leaning against the window. 
“Because I know I need to bribe you,” he sighs, angling his head to the side. “Are you not going to hang up and come downstairs? The coffee will grow cold.”
“I’m coming!”
An hour later, four gifts are resting beside Jeongin's figure, perfectly wrapped thanks to your skilled hands. He's lying on the warmed tiles, and you're right beside him, so close your knee brushes against his thigh now and then. 
He is keeping count, well, more so his heart, constricting in his lungs each time you touch. 
He's so aware of you, so much he's sure you’ve crawled into his skin, morphing him into nothing but a shell of you. 
Perhaps he likes you a lot. 
“You're an insane man. Who leaves gift wrapping to the last minute?”
“You're best friends with said insane man.” 
“Remind me how did that happen again?” you ask, propping your head on your elbow, and turning to the side to look at him. Jeongin has to pretend that the sight of you hovering over him doesn't affect him. That his eyes aren't drawn to your lips, heart dissolving at your feet, hoping to brush against your own. 
Please fall before I fall, he nearly pleads.
“Why are you so close,” he feigns disgust, pushing your face away with his pointer finger. 
“What? Does that fluster you?” you question, amused, bringing your face even closer to his. He scrambles away before a blush sprouts on his face, one he wouldn't be able to justify to your scrutinizing gaze. 
“As if. You're ugly,” his eyes squint, lips thinning into that particular smile he knows annoys you. He moves to the side swiftly, anticipating the shoe you throw at him.
“You're literally— remind me to never help you again, asshole.”
“I'm kidding. Thank you for today, seriously. I didn't know wrapping gifts could be this hard.” He falls back to the floor dramatically, banging his head against the tiles in the process.
“Well deserved,” you whisper. 
“I heard that.”
“Good,” you giggle, before gently massaging the spot where he has bumped his head. He purses his lips against one another, afraid of what words might escape the confines of his throat, vocal cords moving to the gentle rhythm of your touch. 
“Will you keep on being this clumsy, Innie? mm?” you muse, tone quieter. 
The nickname makes his insides churn, it is always so tender when it falls from your lips. No one has ever called him this softly before. No one has ever called his heart before you. 
He shouldn't be this clumsy with it. It is a fragile organ, akin to glass, easily breakable, so translucent— it'd be easy for anyone to peer inside and find you in it. 
“Yeah, I probably will.”
He'll stop liking you next year. He hopes. He'll try. 
Two.
Next year has come, familiar frigid winds pulling you to Jeongin’s heart, perhaps even more so than before, cementing your being into the nooks and crannies of his soul, perfectly so, as if it was destined for you alone to fill the emptiness inside him. 
Seasons have changed and yet summer remains, its essence stored safely within the notes of your perfume, it tickles his nose as you're seated on the countertop, legs swinging lazily while he scouts through his fridge. 
“Remind me why we're doing this again?”
“Because I made a bet with Yoon.”
“Your sixteen years old brother?”
“Yes.”
“You are in college.”
“I know.”
“Why are you taking it to heart?” 
“Because I have my pride,” he says solemnly, hand on his heart and you roll your eyes. 
“You literally begged at my feet fifteen minutes ago to help you.”
A year later, Jeongin stood beneath your window once again, phone brought up to his ear, hand hidden behind his back. You pick up on the first ring. 
“Look out the window,” he quickly says before you can even speak. 
“Hello, Y/n, how are you, Y/n, are you surviving with the cold—” you say sarcastically as you pull the curtains, the words dissolving in your tongue as he brings a single flower before him— you recognize its pink petals easily, Camellia, the rose of winter.
“I did not have time for coffee, but I plucked this off the sidewalk,” he offers, an amused grin on his face. “Help me bake cookies, pretty please, I'll be forever indebted to you. Forever and ever and ever and ever—”
“This is such a poor rendition of Romeo and Juliet, I'm afraid Shakespeare is suffering in his grave right now.”
“Do you think he knows of every theater play that was done to his story?” Jeongin muses.
“That's a good question actually. I hope he didn't see mine,” you shudder before your face pales. 
“You did not tell me you ever did that!”
“I'll bake your cookies and you'll never bring this up again.”
“Deal. My Juliet,” he smirks and you throw a middle finger aggressively to his face before hanging up. He shouldn't find it as endearing as he does.
“Because, my dear Y/n, this is my holiday reputation at stake. I kind of raised the bar last year with my gift wrapping.”
“You did?” you raise an eyebrow promptly at his words and he sighs, taking out the butter before leaning against the fridge.
“We did. Which is exactly why I need your help again. Imagine how embarrassing it would be if Yoon wins,” he shudders and a giggle finally escapes your lips.
The kitchen warms up at the sight of your smile.
“It's cute when you need me once in a while,” you say nonchalantly, hopping off the counter and moving to wash your hands. Jeongin freezes in his place.
“I always need you though,” he confesses quickly, swallowing the words, hoping that this way you wouldn't be able to taste the sincerity coating them, sticky honey dripping from his tongue whenever it speaks of you.
“Good thing you'll always have me then,” you beam, your words hanging into the air, oxygen suddenly harder to inhale.
“Gross,” he fakes a shiver, as his heart drops in his chest, breaks, and twists at the weight your words carry.
He'll always have you, but not in the way he wants to, your eyes would never soften at the mere mention of his name, and you won't think that a season blooms into every room he is in. He has you, but just a fragment of you, not how you have him, as a whole, heart, body, and soul. 
He's already fallen, a terrible, terrible fall.
“Will you help me or just stare off into the distance?” you ask, tilting your head to the side. He smiles bashfully, rolling his sleeves and sidling by your side to mix in the eggs, one by one, per your instructions. 
It smells nice in the kitchen, the caramelized fragrance of browned butter, sweetened by the sugar dissolving into the warm liquid. Tentative sunlight streams through the window, and it falls perfectly on Jeongin's face, highlighting his sharp features. 
Not that jeongin needs any additional light, he reminds you of spring, a flower blooming on his face each time he smiles, his dimples two youthful fountains the roots strive from, brightening his face even more. 
He tentatively glances at you as he adds the chocolate chips to the mix, only to find you staring forward. He misses the fond look on your face by a few seconds, the tinting of your features with soft hues of pink, of spring, of him. He always misses it, always misses you. 
Three.
"I can't believe you have 37 pairs of shoes but not one nice shirt.”
“It's 36, please count correctly,” Jeongin retaliates and you snort, flopping around in bed till you land on your stomach, chin propped up by your hand. Jeongin is still rummaging through his closet, head almost disappearing into the dark void of his wardrobe. 
“What do you need this for anyway?” you question, as you scroll through your phone mindlessly. Jeongin’s eerie silence causes you to look up. 
“Um. I have a date tonight.”
“Oh.” 
His words hang over the room like a heavy cloak soaked with rain, the oxygen sucked out of your lungs and ensnared within that singular gasp.
Jeongin swiftly turns around, before kneeling beside the bed, eyes brimming with a hopeless search— you are too focused on steadying your breathing to notice.
“Should I go?”
“I mean… Why are you asking me?”
“If you don't want me to, I won't,” he speaks in an overflowing sincerity, as though he'd willingly surrender the reins of his life for you to guide, should you only dare to ask. 
A breath, a pause, and he adds, “In case you'll be lonely tonight.” Your hope deflates in an instant, akin to a birthday balloon tossed into the careless hands of children. 
Pity, that's what he feels for someone who hasn't had a date in a year while he went on ones regularly. Although they never transcended beyond that first meeting, always a first date, never a second. He says none of the people he meets are his type. 
“I have a date too.” It was the truth, Suhoo had told you to meet him at the ice rink. You said you'd think about it. You knew deep down that your answer would be no, solely because he isn't Jeongin.
Perhaps it is too late for him to fall for you.  
“Really?” 
“Yeah, with Suhoo, you know, the guy in our Economics class.”
“He's nice.”
“Mm.” 
Could you lose something you never had in the first place?
“You should wear Seungmin’s white shirt.” 
“Yeah. That's what I thought too.”
“And bring them flowers. The rose of winter, maybe.” 
You had preserved the plucked flower he gave you in a vase. The pink of the petals liquefying and bleeding into the blush on Jeongin’s cheeks once he noticed. 
“That one's just for you.” 
Four. 
You're alone on the ice rink, the frigid winds assail your form, fingers numb from winter's cruel grasp. Suhoo didn't come after all, perhaps he was offended by you calling him at the last minute to confirm your date.
The chill of disappointment is more biting than the frost— you want to melt off the ice, you want your spring. You want your Jeongin. 
But he isn't yours, perhaps he will never be. He is too sought after, too captivated by the fleeting chase of someone new to spare a glance at you. 
But in this instant, you need him. You need him to hold your hands in his larger, warmer ones and get you off the ice rink. You need the sight of his familiar dimples and blooming smile. 
So, you call him. He picks up on the first ring. 
“Are you that bored on your date?” He playfully taunts, and his voice becomes a gentle breeze that stirs the emotions you struggle to contain. Tears cascade down your cheeks in an achingly familiar path. 
“I-Innie,” you hiccup, and you’re instantly met with the sound of scraping chairs against the floor, the hastening cadence of footsteps hurrying out into the street. 
“Did he do something to you?” He speaks so coldly, a tone so foreign to the warmth of your Jeongin. He shouldn't be tainted with winter too. 
“He didn't come. Can you p-please pick me up?” 
“I will. I'm coming in a bit, okay?” 
He finds you rather quickly on the ice rink, a sore thumb unmoving between the gliding bodies. He skates over to you, almost falling twice in the process. 
“You're so clumsy,” you snort as he stands before you, sobs racking through your body once more at the sight of him.
You weren't mad at Suhoo. You were heartbroken over Jeongin.
“I'll beat him up for you. I'll tell Changbin to help me too,” he smiles, hands fidgeting as they land upon your cheeks, trying their best to wipe away your tears.
“Please don't cry. I hate seeing you cry, Y/n, I really can't bear it." The tears only fall harder at his words, as if he's stringing them forth with each touch of his.
“Did he do something to you?” an unknown voice startles you and you turn to your right to find a girl looking at you then at Jeongin, a frown etched on her eyebrows.
“No, I'm her friend I didn't-”
“I wasn't talking to you,” the girl cuts him off and you laugh despite you, as Jeongin’s jaw hangs open, before closing once more.
“It's not him, thank you so much though,” you smile gratefully and she nods, eyes wary as she glares at Jeongin one last time, before skating away.
“I can't believe that just happened,” He exhales, a breath tinged with bewilderment, before he delicately encircles a hand around your back. Gently, he guides your head to rest against the comforting refuge of his chest.
“What are you doing?” you mumble against his navy hoodie, the one he borrowed from you. You can still smell your perfume on him. 
“I'm comforting you.” 
“You don't like hugs.” 
“It's different when it comes to you.”
You close your eyes, allowing the tide of his warmth to envelop you like a cascade of spring petals.
“Where is your date?”
“I didn't go.”
“Why is that?”
“Because I love you. I'm tired of looking for you in other people,” he quickly says and you peel yourself away from him, feeling as if his clothes were suddenly made of fire. 
“What?” you whisper, eyes glistening with unshed tears.
“I love you,” he repeats, each word drawn out, much slower this time, his hands cradling your face, tenderly, as though holding the sun between his delicate fingers. “I'm tired of pretending you're not my summer.”
“Don't say things you don't mean,” your voice wavers. 
“I mean it. I've always loved you. You complete me in ways I didn't know were possible, and I know you only see me as a friend but-”
Your lips press against his, a culmination of aching desires that have lingered for two years. Distant laughter echoes in the background, ice cream melting onto your fingers, a soft breeze ruffling your hair, flowers blooming under the soft caress of the sun— two seasons melting sweetly into the kiss.
“You're literally so blind,” you giggle against his lips, and his smile widens, your noses brushing against one another. “I love you too, idiot.”
“You love me?”
“You're my favorite season.” 
“Don't steal my lines.”
“Hey—” he kisses you this time, the winter is long forgotten. 
Was it ever a fall if you caught him in the end?
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aurpiment · 9 months
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I dreamed that I was working on an ecology research boat and for some reason aboard the boat there was an injured otter. One of my colleagues started feeding it cat kibble and thawed cooked shrimp on a plate and he even taught her to say yes and no. (Pulling a lever on a striped ball was no, on a plain ball was yes.) The otter was very intelligent and she became accustomed to and even fond of humans. She stayed on the boat even after she recovered. She cozied up to human hands to request to be petted on the head. This made another of my colleagues, who was more senior, very upset. She (the colleague, not the otter) explained to him that it is dangerous for wild animals to become acclimatized to humans.
Here’s where it got weird. We tried to reason with the otter to convince her to leave us forever and go back into the wild, since the otter had learned to understand English and could now speak. I told her that she had lost the instinct to bite our hands, and that otters are supposed to bite. She answered that she was sorry that she used to have the instinct to bite us, because it was rude, and that we were her friends. (She figured out it was rude among humans because she noticed that none of us bit each other, not even playing.)
I relayed this answer to the senior colleague who, after cussing out the other colleague for “de-animalizing” the otter, came up with a plan. (De-animalizing, my colleague explained, turns a wild animal into a pet, and “a house-animal is no animal.” She explained this in German. My German is very bad.)
This was the plan: We were to give the otter a “shamanic experience” to make her think she was having a meaningful vision. My senior colleague would drug her, and drape her in the preserved pelt of another otter, so that when she woke up, she would ask herself, ‘who am I?’ And come out of the pelt thinking she was being reborn. I thought draping her in the skin of a dead member of her own species was macabre and possibly itchy, and that the whole “shamanic experience” idea was pure plastic, but the risk was that she would be de-animalized if she stayed with us longer, so I followed along with the plan.
My senior colleague drugged the otter, the otter woke up and crawled out of the other pelt, and then, since I was the intern on the boat, I stomped rhythmically on closed tiptoes in front of the otter and conveyed information to her in a droning song. I chanted about how it was dangerous for wild animals to stay among humans. I don’t think I was wearing a mask, so the otter recognized me and didn’t get why I was doing that weird song and dance. Ritual does not come naturally to otters, even tame ones. Nor are they in the habit of having dream visions.
But she was sort of enthralled by the rhythmic footwork of the dance and she was still a little cross-eyed and high, so she was paying rapt attention to what I was telling her. She asked me, very earnestly, “do corrupt intentions underlie your deeds?” (Meaning humans as a whole, not just me)
I told her, (in a normal voice, no longer doing the song bit) “My friend, some of us are very corrupt. It’s not safe to trust any of us.“
What I said to her was more words than that, but I focused so hard on saying it that I said it with my real still-in-bed body’s mouth and breath, which woke me up. I don’t know if the otter was persuaded to return to the water.
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wheeboo · 2 months
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mine | joshua hong
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SYNOPSIS. in which joshua is the best thing that's ever been... yours. PAIRING. joshua hong x gn!reader (ft. cheol, jeonghan, soonyoung, mingyu, chan - they don't rlly have dialogue tho lol) GENRE. fluff, some angst, hurt/comfort, friends to lovers, established relationship WARNINGS. a very very brief shirtless joshua moment LMAO, implications of reader having a toxic ex, mentions that reader's parents have a rocky relationship and separate, kissing, terms of endearment, reader and joshua have a lil argument WORD COUNT. 3.6k
requested from @staranghae: joshua + mine by taylor swift for the 2k followers event please 🩷🎀
notes: i am fluent in this song!!!! whenever my love playlist comes on and this plays i literally scream lungs out!!! and shua fits this vibe so much <3
join the 2k celebration!
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ONE. "i was a flight risk, with a fear of falling / wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts..."
Maybe you've always underestimated how the feeling of fresh air hitting your lungs makes you feel so replenished, free, like a single whiff blows away those gusts of worry in an instant.
Your fingers carry a tight, secure grip on Seungcheol's surfboard𑁋you volunteered to carry it for him so he could unload the other things from the van𑁋soft sand meeting your toes the second you step onto the beach for the first time of the summer season. Salty air tingles at your nose, the late afternoon sun baring down on your shoulders, and the expanse of the ocean opens up right before your eyes.
This place had basically watched you grow up. It carries a lot of memories that you hold dear to your heart.
You see Soonyoung already digging into the sand with an abnormally large stick, and Mingyu carrying a bunch of firewood in his arms before dropping them down onto the ground (and accidentally one on his foot, but you won't say anything about that).
However, your eyes drift and land on a figure running up from the beach shore. His dark hair is wet and sticking to his forehead, chest and arms revealed in all its glory before quickly covered up by a white, somewhat lacy button-down shirt that still doesn't do much in concealing the muscles underneath. For a moment, you nearly loose the grip on Seungcheol's surfboard.
Joshua Hong seems to spot you from even a mile away. He's running up to you before you even have the minute to breathe, a grin splitting his face that's as warm as the setting sun. Sand clings to his damp flip-flops and the hem of his black shorts as he nearly skids to a halt in front of you, chest heaving and out of breath. His shirt isn't even buttoned, dammit.
"Hey," he greets you breathlessly, letting his eyes take you in for a second. "Glad you could make it."
A soft smile of your own blooms on your face. "It's good to see you too, asshole."
A flicker of feigned hurt plays across Joshua's features. "Come on. That was so two years ago! I didn't want to push you in the water. You should know that by now."
"Wow, you care so much about me, don't you?" You nearly swing Seungcheol's surfboard playfully in his direction. "You listen to Jeonghan more than your own little brain."
"I swear, it's changed. Everything's changed since then," Joshua reasons lightly. "You have my ears for the entire night, I promise."
His words hang in the air for a moment, and there's perhaps a sliver of fondness in his eyes that you catch when your gazes meet. You feel a certain warmth spread through your chest that you try so hard to ignore each time he's around you.
You brush it off with a roll of your eyes before strolling past him, hoping that Seungcheol's surfboard was enough to cover up the slight flush creeping up your cheeks. The smile to your face still lingers as you walk towards to where Soonyoung and Mingyu are, whom dash up to you the moment they see you to engulf you in a welcoming hug.
Mingyu is almost done setting up the bonfire by the time you and Seungcheol bring all the food and supplies from the van. Jeonghan and Chan had arrived by the time the fire is lit up and crackling, casting a warm, inviting glow on the beach scene. And it isn't long when the yearly traditions of a group bonfire and beachside barbecue commence.
The smell of grilled food fills the air, mixing with the salty breeze and the crackle of the fire. And just for those moments, you forget these fuzzy feelings swirling around you as familiar laughter and camaraderie take over instead.
You've known all of your friends for different amounts of times, but being here with all of them makes it feel like time hasn't passed by at all. Inside jokes are exchanged, memories from as far as childhood resurface, and stories are told that leave you all doubled over with laughter (and Soonyoung nearly choking on a marshmallow).
It's almost natural in the way your eyes seem to search for Joshua's every single time that feeling of happiness threatens to overflow within you. The fire flickers upon his face, his eyes crinkled deeply when he smiles. Happiness looks good on him, you think. It always has.
...does his eyes search for yours too?
By the time the fire dies down, you find yourself sitting near the edge of the beach, with your legs stretched on the sand and the waves barely lapping against your feet. Seungcheol and Mingyu are already out on the ocean on their surfboards, then there's Chan and Soonyoung struggling to get their sandcastle to stay up, and Jeonghan is already knocked out on a beach towel. It's just you, and wherever the hell Joshua is.
"Something's bothering you, isn't it?"
The voice snaps you away from your thoughts, and you pick your head up to see Joshua walking up to you. A cool breeze flows through his strands of his hair as he approaches.
You blink at him. "What?"
He sits down beside you on the sand, close enough that the warmth of his body brushes against yours. "You were too quiet earlier."
You face back towards the water, cowering your head down as if guilty of some sorts.
"Oh," You murmur, somewhat to yourself. "Sorry."
"Sorry for what?" Joshua asks, nudging you lightly on the shoulder. "I told you earlier that I would be all ears for you."
You smile faintly at that. Would you still be all ears if I told you that I've been such a coward with my feelings for you?
"It's... just boy problems, I guess," You respond, though you feel a twinge of regret for wording it like that. It's more than just simply boy problems.
Joshua's jaw seems to tighten at that. "Did that jerk contact you again?"
You know who exactly he's talking about, and you let out a sigh. "No, not him. I... I blocked him a few months ago when he tried spam calling me again. Sort of gave me a good scare, to be honest."
At the corner of your eye, Joshua's hand digs aimlessly into the sand, clenching and unclenching a fistful before smoothing it out again.
"I'm glad you're okay," he says softly, gaze fixed on the grains of sand slipping through his fingers. "You deserve someone way better than him."
You chuckle at that, and a bittersweet pang shoots through your chest. It's true, you deserve better. But really, the problem isn't just jerks and bad relationships. It's the thought of falling for someone again and it all comes crashing down... again.
But it's not like you could hold back from falling when you've already fallen. The truth is undeniable at this point𑁋your heart already beats a little faster for the boy right next to you.
"Guys! Look at the sunset!" Chan's voice rings out into the cool, evening air, pointing an excited finger towards the horizon.
Simultaneously, you and Joshua bring your eyes up tot the sky together. The last rays of the sun are painting the sky in a breathtaking display of fiery oranges, pinks, and purples, like a fleeting masterpiece before nightfall takes hold.
"Wow," You mutter out in awe. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"
Joshua cocks his head to the side, a low hum leaving his lips. "Hmm, I could think of something more beautiful than that, honestly."
You scoff, hitting him lightly on the shoulder. "You ruined the sentimental moment, idiot."
Joshua lets out an amused laugh, a sound that sends those flutters blossoming in your stomach, one you haven't realised you've missed until this very moment. A small giggle of your own escapes your mouth as you bring your eyes back to the sunset together.
Then a low yawn stifles out of you. Maybe everything that has happened the past few hours are finally catching up to you. You let out another yawn, hoping Joshua doesn't notice. But of course, he does.
"Getting tired?" he asks you.
You give a small nod. "Just a little."
A few moment pass, before you feel an arm drape casually over your shoulders. The scent of Joshua and his warmth seeps within your bones. You almost want to protest, but the words get caught in your throat, and you lean your head on his shoulder, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest with each breath.
Perhaps you could spend a long time staying in this position and hope the silence is able to spill all the words you've been meaning to say for all this time, but you know it's easier said than done. Because what's the point of confessing anymore if you know it won't ever last? That you know it'll ruin everything you've built up to get this far?
You've seen it happen around you𑁋with you, your parents, hell even strangers online. It's taught you nothing but to run. That's what your mind tells you to do, but not your heart. And maybe you listen to your mind more often than not.
"Yo, Josh!" Mingyu's voice hollers out from the ocean, and you feel a certain pressure be lifted up from your head (when did he lay his head on yours?) as you catch the sight of Seungcheol and Mingyu motioning to their surfboards. "Wanna hop on?"
Joshua briefly glances down at you, and you meet his gaze, seeing the indecision in his features.
"I don't mind," You tell him. "I'll be fine here."
He hesitates. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah, don't worry about me." You pick your head off from his shoulders. "Go have your boy-fun."
Joshua gives you a small smile, though there's a hint of reluctance in his expression. He shouts back to Mingyu and Seungcheol before standing up and brushing the sand off his shorts. You could hardly pull your eyes away from him as he does so.
He starts trotting away as you face back toward the ocean with a sigh, relinquishing the moments you get to have to gather up your thoughts.
"Hey, Y/N?"
You pick your eyes back up to Joshua marching back towards you. He stops in front of you, a grin tugging at the corners of his lips.
"You look beautiful today, by the way." Then he gives shoots you a wink before turning back around. "Just wanted you to know."
The kiss you leave to his cheek later on was really worth the risk.
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TWO. "you learn my secrets and you figure out why i'm guarded / you say we'll never make my parents' mistakes..."
A picture frame of a four-year-old Joshua is staring back at you. He still has that same silly grin on his face, the one that has his own eyes smiling as well and makes your heart feel lighter every time you look at it. You reach out to touch the frame, tracing the outline of his little face with your fingertip.
Sometimes, you wish you could experience what he was like at this time𑁋to grow up with him, to know what exactly led him to meeting you. But then again, he's already here with you now, and maybe that's all that matters.
"All ready for bed?" Joshua's voice popping in makes you swiftly place back the picture frame back on his desk. You turn around to see him leaning against the doorway with a soft smile playing on his lips, clad with a simple white t-shirt and a pair of grey sweatpants.
"Mhm," You hum out in response as you settle back under the covers of his bed.
It isn't the first night you've spent with him at his place, but you seem to seek the feeling of his comfort more often than sleeping in your own bed. Jeonghan has been kind of nagging you the two of you to move in together at this point, but that's a leap you're a bit hesitant to jump right now. But the drawer of your own clothes in his wardrobe is a bit of an argument that's hard to defend.
Joshua crawls his way into the spot right next to you, slipping under the duvet and wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you more into his embrace. You feel his breath meet the nape of your neck, warm and soothing against your skin, and your eyes flutter to the feeling.
You shift your position so that you're facing him. His eyes are already closed, lips pursed up slightly, and even then he still looks absolutely stunning. But you know he isn't asleep. Not yet, at least.
"My parents had uh... another argument today," You confess lowly, hesitantly.
Joshua's eyes open up slightly, adjusting his head so he can look at you better. A faint crease of concern appears between his brows, the arm around you tightening imperceptibly.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
You bite at your bottom lip anxiously. There are times you feel as if the only thing that could get you talking is always something revolving your parents, and you wonder if Joshua ever gets tired hearing about all of it. The thought courses insecurity to crawl in your veins, tightening your throat.
But Joshua's patient gaze towards you cuts through the uncertainty bubbling in your chest.
"Just same old, same old, you know?" You attempt to explain. "It just feels like they can't see eye-to-eye anymore. There's like... I don't know... nothing left between them, I guess. And it scares me that... it'll happen to us."
The last sentence suspends thickly into the air. Even then, you know it's more than the truth𑁋you've grown up witnessing and overhearing arguments from your parents that laid down this pessimistic view on the world around you.
You could feel your heart racing from all the anticipation. There's a wave of emotions that washes over Joshua's face, then he takes a deep breath and squeezes you tighter in his hold.
"Hey," he mutters. "Look at me."
You hesitantly meet his eyes.
"We're not like them, okay?" he assures you simply, bringing his hand up to cup your face oh-so gently in his hold. "We may argue sometimes. But the difference is, we communicate. We listen to each other. And we may not have all the answers to everything, but we'll figure it out together, alright?"
You swear you can feel the way he's holding your face also on your heart, like he's protecting you in a way from any doubts that might creep in. A small sigh escapes you, the tension leaving your shoulders as his words wrap around you comfortingly. The faintest, appreciative curve appears to your lips as you feel Joshua's thumb brush against your cheek.
He dreamily smiles at you as well, despite his face being half-buried in the pillow. And the thought of being able to wake up to this sight every single day suddenly feels a lot less like a leap and a whole lot more like a promise.
Somehow, the gap between the two of you disappears as your lips meets his. He kisses you so tenderly, mouth moving against yours with a delicate urgency, and the tiny sound that leaves you brings that smirk you could feel forming on his face.
You feel almost dizzy when you pull away, nothing but a shy look gracing over your features.
"Feeling better?" Joshua asks softly, brushing a stray strand of hair away from your face.
You could only gaze at him, wondering to yourself how he's even in real, how someone like him could exist with his sleepy smile, messy hair, and perfect features carved by the angels above, yet cherish you so dearly.
"Can you..." Your eyes flicker from eyes to his lips. "Can you... keep kissing me?"
It feels really silly to ask that, however Joshua just chuckles, the sound rumbling from deep within his chest as he peers at you with nothing but adoration.
"Of course," he replies, leaning back in. "Whatever you want."
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THREE. "braced myself for the goodbye, 'cause that's all I've ever known / then you took me by surprise / you said, 'I'll never leave you alone...'"
The tears streaming down your face burns through the concrete below like acid.
"Y/N, wait𑁋"
"I told you that I-I can't do this right now."
The leaves crunching at your feet echo in your ears as you walk away from Joshua, each step feeling heavier than the last. It's around two in the morning or something, and you can't remember the last time you felt this lost and broken ever since your parents' separation. It's like the ground beneath you has crumbled away, leaving you suspended in midair, grasping for something𑁋just anything𑁋to hold onto.
You've been here before, standing at the edge of this cliff of vulnerability. It's easier to leave before you get left, easier to build walls than to let someone in only to watch them walk away.
But you've come to understand that Joshua isn't one to give up easily. He catches up to you quickly, his hand gently grasping your arm to stop you in your tracks. You try to shrug him off, but his grip only tightens slightly as he turns you around to face him.
"Talk to me," he pleads insistently, and the subtle tremble to his voice has your chest clenching. "If you're just going to keep pushing me away, then𑁋"
"Then leave." The words leave you before you can stop them, fueled by the ache in your chest and the fear in your heart. "You don't have to stay with me when all I-I do is push you away. Don't you think you deserve someone better?"
Joshua's grip on your arm loosens at your words, but it doesn't fall. His eyes scan over your tear-stained face, the quiver to your lips, and all of it has you bracing yourself for the inevitable, final blow𑁋for him to turn and walk away like so many others before him.
But instead, he just steps closer to you.
"This isn't about me staying because I have to, Y/N," he explains. "It's about me wanting to stay because I love you. I knew what I was getting into the second I realised I was falling for you. So no, I'm not going to leave you. And I'll never leave you alone because I know you're worth fighting for."
Your breath catches in your throat, his words piercing through you like a bullet straight through the heart. Even Joshua appears out of breath himself, as if he's poured his own heart out to you in those few simple sentences. The silence stretches between the two of you.
With a quiet sigh and a faint smile, he lets the tension simmer down by trailing his eyes over you.
"When I look at you, I think... I think I fall in love with you all over again like the first time I saw you," Joshua admits shyly, followed by a sheepish chuckle to himself. "It's cheesy, I know. But I can't help it. It's hard not to look at you."
You feel the heat crawling up your face as you blink away your tears clumsily, peering up at him inquisitively. "Really?"
This just draws another laugh from him. Joshua steps closer to you, trailing a hand to cup your face and the other to slide to your back to shorten the gap between the two of you even more. He places a soft kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering there for a moment before he pulls back slightly to meet your gaze.
"Really," he confirms, voice gentle yet firm. "I meant every word I said, darling."
This brings a genuine smile to your face as if it was the first one that night. You instinctively lean more into Joshua's touch, letting your eyes close for a moment to the simple feeling of him holding you.
"I'm sorry," You mumble, voice barely above a whisper. "for pushing you away like that. It's just... I'm scared."
Joshua takes one of your hands into his own to bring up to his lips, pressing a reassuring kiss to your knuckles.
"It's okay," he assures you. "We can be scared together."
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FOUR. "do you believe it? / we're gonna make it now / and i can see it / i can see it now."
A pair of arms snake around your waist from behind, the relaxing melody of a piano floating through the air of the kitchen. You take in a deep breath, leaning back into Joshua's embrace as he rests his chin on your shoulder.
"Smells amazing, honey," Joshua murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to your temple.
You smile contentedly, feeling the peace of the moment wash over the two of you. The enticing smells of the pasta you were cooking waft around the kitchen, mingling with the scent of fresh herbs, garlic, and Joshua's presence right behind you.
"It should be ready soon," You say, clutching the wooden spoon in your hands to give the sauce a final stir.
Joshua's eyes arms tighten around you, pulling you even closer as he sways gently to the music. You hear the sounds of his hums hit your ears as you turn to the heat off to the stove. And as you attempt to pull away from him to grab for some plates, Joshua's grip on your waist hardly budges.
You groan exaggeratedly. "Shua, I need to𑁋"
"Marry me."
You freeze immediately, and you swear time halted right at that moment. Turning around in his hold, you're met with the sight of Joshua's eyes on you. You try to pinpoint any doubt in them, any sign that this is some sort of joke, but his gaze remains unwavering, dark eyes serious yet painted with a shine of hope that tugs right at the strings of your heart and the walls of your hesitation.
There's always that fear gnawing at in the back of your mind. But beneath it all, a warmth spreads through your chest, a certainty that feels as natural as breathing.
And perhaps, you see nothing but forever in him.
You can see it in the way his eyes soften, in the way his hand trembles anxiously against your waist, in the way his lips part ever so slightly as he waits for your response. You can see it all in him. You've made it.
You kiss him just seconds later. It's a question your heart has already answered long before the words left Joshua's lips. You lean more into his touch, feeling your heart overflow past the brink of joy, and the feelings all melt together into the singular realisation that he's the best thing that's ever been yours.
When the two of you finally break away, a single word escapes your lips, "Yes."
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another note: sorry this ending was slightly rushed T-T
taglist (open) ʚɞ @enhazen @haowrld @icyminghao @slytherinshua @jeonride @lockburn-castle @vrnism @weird-bookworm @mhlsymlysn @ryuwonieebae @yeonjuns-redhair @wonwooz1 @woohaeyo @mark-geolli @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @aaniag @wootify @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @phenomenalgirl9 @roziesmei @mirxzii @bookyeom @parkjennykim @melodicrabbit @bewoyewo @honglynights @bananabubble @treehouse-mouse @tanya596carat @starshuas @totomoshi
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pshcomforts · 4 months
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➳ older | psh.
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non!idolsunghoon x fem!reader (feat. jaemin and jisung from nct)
“think i need someone older, just a little bit colder”
synopsis: sunghoon is your brother’s friend who you’ve grown up with, but now you guys share lingering kisses and quiet touches.
warnings/content: written in third pov. suggestive content! tension. sunghoon gets jealous and possessive (who’s surprised). he’s also very confident in here. age gap (reader is 18). introverted y/n. cursing and not proofread.
comments, likes, and reposts are appreciated :)
word count: 5.4k
a/n: fictional characters — dae (jungwon’s boyfriend), min-su (heeseung’s girlfriend), and ji-woo (jake’s girlfriend).
༘˚⋆𐙚。masterlist⋆.✧˚
current song playing: older by isabel larosa
↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺
0:39 ─────|────────────── -1:37
it was a normal, sunny day in the house of y/n and her brother. it had only been the two since their parents had left town for the week.
“hey, i’m gonna have my friends over. stay in your room,” the male said to her.
she gave an eye roll along with a disgusted look in return. “whatever, its not like i talk to your friends,” but she did.
her brother’s friend group consisted of heeseung, jay, jake, sunghoon, jaemin, and jisung. the enhypen members had been his long term friends ever since they were little — he met heeseung at the age of 10 and a few years along the way, the 02z liners popped up.
as they grew older, their group expanded when they came across jaemin and jisung in their high school years. ever since then, the group’s been growing and improving together.
with y/n’s brother meeting each boy at such a young age, the girl grew up with them as well. in such luck, her eyes trailed to jaemin. he was always so sweet to her that it caused her heart call to be for him and only him.
well, possibly not just for him.
when y/n got older, she realized that jaemin remained to just be a childhood crush. he was still the same guy she knew him as, but she just grew out of the fond memories she shared with him.
instead, she found herself to constantly look at sunghoon quite more often than she’d think.
she started to see him in a different way. the boy would always go back to the house with her brother after soccer practice, and just little gestures exchanged between the two sent heart throbs.
as time passed, she became more flustered around him — in which caused her to come to terms with the fact that she did like him. but they grew up together, they watched each other mature into the person they were.
that acknowledgement didn’t stop them though.
it had been a party thrown by her brother for who knows what; and one thing lead to another, and sunghoon had randomly admitted his feelings.
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧ — flashback
“you’re really pretty, you know that?” hoon uttered out in the silence, alcohol slightly reeking out of him.
y/n’s cheeks burned with red as she became flushed. “what?? that’s so random??” she tried to laugh off how awkward it was but only caused it to become more tense.
it was only the two of them in her room. the party was coming to an end with goodbyes, and sunghoon apparently needed his book back that she had borrowed, so they went to her bedroom (it was just an excuse).
when he received the object, he denied the request to go back out there as his social battery was running out (another excuse).
the boy just wanted some alone time, who can blame him?
“i’m serious,” hoon murmured. he turned to face her as they remained to be sitting on the edge of the bed, legs touching and feet near each other.
“uhm.. thank you?” she replied, emphasizing her question mark at the end.
he gave a light chuckle, showing his wide grin as he said, “why’d you say it like that?”
y/n quickly scrunched her brows together, giving a swift shrug to her shoulders before she replied, “i don’t know?? how else am i supposed to thank you?”
“with a kiss.” his lips crashed against hers in an instant. she was taken back for a second but melted in once she felt the tug of his lips.
he pulled away not too long after to let the longing for another sink in. a grin played on his lips, fully amused of her flustered state.
“you just kissed me..,” y/n raised her hands to her lips to graze where his lips had touched hers just seconds ago.
“i like you loser, you haven’t noticed that?” sunghoon said with a chuckle. his brows raised up as he continued to watch her try to find her words.
her mouth opened to speak but nothing could come out. he truly made her at a loss for words with the sudden surge of confidence he had to kiss and confess.
“guess you’ve just been too busy gawking at jaemin huh?” his lips curled into a smirk afterward, causing the girl to hit his shoulder.
“shut up!” they giggled together before the door had suddenly boomed open to the sight of her brother in a drunken state.
“hey.. it’s my friend, sunghoon and my sister, y/n! what are you guys doing?” he slurred out with fluttered eyes.
she rolled her eyes at him while trying to slowly back away from the boy she had just kissed. “oh god, you’re drunk, aren’t you?”
“no bro, my tolerance is good.” his feet soon stumbled down and so did his body. the stupid male fell down to the floor with how drunk he was.
“oh my god…,” she mumbled, giving a heavy sigh as she kneeled down beside him.
sunghoon softly laughed at watching how the siblings interacted.
“sorry..” she slightly whispered to him as she shook her brother who was on the floor.
“it’s okay y/n, we’ll talk soon.” he blinked his eyes in reassurance as he walked over to his friend. “rest well dude,” a soft pat was made to the boy on the floor as hoon smiled and walked out her bedroom door.
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧
they haven’t talked as much since then.
and as much as y/n’s brother denied it, he was protective of her and sunghoon knew that. he had a younger sister himself, so he understood.
he always remembered the words of her brother that echoed in his head — “y/n’s my little sister, she’s off limits.”
in retrospect, they specifically went out to jaemin as y/n’s name always rolled off of his tongue.
but sunghoon liked the girl. he always did. watching each other grow was something special as he admired from afar.
when she got to an older age, he found it difficult to get her out of his head. they were three years apart though and he acknowledged that, so he tried to move on.
but it didn’t help that they had just kissed months ago. she’d been stuck in his mind just as he was to her.
so when her brother had mentioned his friends coming over, she had to act as if she was unfazed.
a few knocks on the door were made and the whole friend group came flooding in. the boys soon comfortably situated themselves on the couch.
“where’s y/n?” jaemin asked, taking a sip of his opened soda afterward. sunghoon’s ears perked up as he waited for the answer.
“who cares about her?” her brother responded, truthfully remaining a little curious as to why he asked for her.
“oh come on, your sister’s cute.”
the girl’s brother morphed into an appalled look. “ha ha very funny. you’re disgusting, jaemin.”
he raised his arms in defense, hearing the others chime in as well. “that’s his little sister, bro.” jake said with a chuckle.
“says the one who’s dating her friend!”
the australian boy quickly shut his mouth after.
“he’s got you there,” heeseung amusingly added.
jaemin puffed out his lips as he let air pass. “you’re dating her other friend, hee” jisung squeaked out with a giggle.
heeseung became quiet, causing loud laughs to erupt from the group.
“you guys may be dating her friends, but that doesn’t mean you can date her.” y/n’s brother defensively said.
sunghoon trailed his eyes from the left and then to the right as he quietly whispered, “oh fuck.”
they weren’t exactly dating, but they still shared small pecks on the lips whenever they had the chance.
he couldn’t help it, it was like a craving.
“you’re quiet hoon,” jake mischievously spoke.
everybody landed their eyes on the boy as he took a gulp. “i just need to take a piss” he mumbled, avoiding eye contact as he got up and left.
“strange…,” y/n’s brother uttered.
“strange indeed,” heeseung whispered, sharing a suspicious glance to jake. they definitely heard something from their partners.
as sunghoon found his way to the bathroom, he also searched for y/n. luckily, her bedroom was near so he didn’t have to look far.
“y/n?” he quietly peeped, head peaking through the crack of the door.
a gasp was heard from the other end. “sunghoon?” she harshly whispered, widening the door crack to a smiley hoon.
“missed you,” he quietly mumbled in her ear while closing the door behind him. his arms wrapped around her, sighing in the warm embrace she exuded.
“missed you too.” she shyly said back with her head against his broad chest.
“y/n?? is that sunghoon?” her airpod muffled out.
the boy raised his brows before turning his head to her phone and finding her on call with her friends — min-su, dae, and ji-woo.
“you’re calling them?”
“yeah..”
in seconds, she could hear them go quiet in her ears, only for them to go loud again with booming questions; a few about their boyfriends who were at her house and a few about their undefined relationship.
she groaned out a sigh before double tapping her airpod, disconnecting from the call.
“sorry, i wanted to be kept busy while you guys were here.” y/n pushed her lips into a firm line to display how awkward she was feeling.
hoon gave a chuckle as a response — “i could’ve been helping you with that.” his brows raised in a suggestive way, earning a loud slap on his arm.
“ew sunghoon!” her face struck in horror as his words replayed in her ears.
truth be told, she got butterflies in her stomach with how close he was when he said it, but that didn’t stop her from hitting him. “the way you’re so confident right now is crazy, what if my brother finds you in my room like this?”
the inner corner of his lips slowly curled in mischief. “don’t worry gorgeous, he hasn’t found out the past few times i’ve visited you for a kiss.”
y/n’s eyes widened at the nickname. “gorgeous??? god hoon, you need to be put down.” she shook her head before rubbing her fingers on her temple. the boy was stressing her out but she was secretly enjoying the little things he was risking for her.
“i’m serious loser, if he finds out, we’re both done for. you know how he is!”
sunghoon grinned ear to ear, simply melting from her stressed state. “i know i know, you’re just so mesmerizing that i have to come back to you.”
he grabbed her chin from the bottom and smiled in amusement, enjoying how flustered he could make her with his flirtatious acts.
“i don’t know whether to feel disgusted or special right now,” she murmured, slightly killing the romantic mood.
he scoffed at her words. “you should feel special.” his head dipped lower to her lips, foreheads bunking while closing the gap as she whispered, “should i?”
his lips curled into a smile, uttering — “mhm” before letting their lips meet. her hands wrapped around his neck to pull him closer.
it was a soft kiss with how gentle he was going, but he still let a low groan leave his lips as his brows scrunched together.
hoon had finally got his craving, but the hungry desire was building up.
before he could go any further, y/n quickly pulled away to let him linger for more. he tried to connect their lips back together again but she stopped him with a head turn.
sunghoon was confused and his face showed it, causing the girl to softly laugh at his reaction.
“that was cute, but you have to go back before he notices you weren’t even in the bathroom in the first place.” she quietly said against his lips.
“so let him,” he groaned out before attempting to swoop in for another kiss.
she dodged it again as she shook her head. “no hoon, i’m serious. he might actually kick your ass.”
sunghoon rolled his eyes, tone becoming bitter as he replied, “so close to telling him for us.”
she gave a giggle at his words before nudging his arm. “just go back.”
“but-“
“hoon??” a voice from the hallway called out.
the two froze together before y/n slightly pushed him away from her.
the voice didn’t belong to her brother, but she knew it was one of the boys.
in seconds, jake peaked in through the door. he caught on a little too quick as he automatically smiled.
“what’s going on in here hm?”
sunghoon’s face peered into repulse at the sight of his friend. “shut up dude.”
jake softly chuckled before continuing on, “he sent me up here to check on you since you were taking too long in the bathroom. guess you just got lost in y/n’s room huh?”
y/n smiled and shook her head at the boy. “shut up jake…,”
he laughed in return as sunghoon’s cheeks were faintly colored red. “i’ve been knowing all along bro, ji-woo told me already. jisung owes me.. but you don’t have to look all embarrassed.” he nudged his arms in a playful way as the girl continued to laugh. “her brother might kill you though..”
“let’s just go. you’re embarrassing me,” sunghoon muttered, grabbing hold of the shorter boy to leave the room.
“hey don’t worry, i won’t tell anyone! and tell ji-woo to text me back y/n, yeah?” jake shouted. he earned a head smack from hoon in return so her brother couldn’t hear anything.
the two bickered like siblings as they walked through the hallway, leaving y/n alone in her bed. a smile curled onto her lips before she went back to her phone and rejoined the call with her friends, not forgetting to tell ji-woo to text jake back.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
days had passed since the boys came over. within the time gone, y/n’s brother had received news that he was getting promoted to a higher position in his job.
to celebrate, a party came in mind.
night arrived and the event soon began.
the party didn’t consist of a lot of people, but there were enough to cause social anxiety in the host’s sister.
she didn’t bother to converse with many people as she stayed near her friends — who, of course, were dating her brother’s friends so she stayed lingering around by herself.
the poor girl sighed to herself as she was alone.
no sight of hoon could be found but even if she did find him, she couldn’t risk it. to be quite frank, they hadn’t talked in a while. and along with that, they hadn’t kissed, so tension between them was growing.
it only worsened though when she found him to be talking to some girl.
just a random girl she didn’t know.
it didn’t matter that she didn’t know who that girl was, it mattered that he was talking to someone else who wasn’t her.
the 5’11 boy was seemingly enjoying the conversation he was having with her, laughing about who knows what. it boiled her blood to see that he was giving that same smile he gave her when they kissed the day that jake interrupted them.
she knew it was to throw off suspicions from her brother but did he really have to do it too well?
✩ ‘baby, am i your little secret?’ ✩
“want some company?” a familiar voice asked her, interrupting her train of thought.
y/n looked up and found jaemin offering her a can of soda. “sure,” she murmured with a smile.
he took the seat beside her as he sighed. “it’s overwhelming isn’t it?”
she peeked her eyes at him once she took a sip of her beverage. “yeah… i’d rather not interact with all of them.” her chuckle was soft as he reflected it in the same tone.
“still the same shy girl i know huh?”
she didn’t like him anymore, but that sure had her slightly flustered. her eyes widened a bit as she turned to him — “i’m not shy! i just don’t want to talk to people” — she defended.
jaemin’s laugh became louder as he teased, “yeah right. i know you y/n, you’re not one to talk first.”
the girl rolled her eyes in defeat. “okay okay fine.”
he grinned again while bunking shoulder to shoulder with her. “so who are you willing to talk to then?”
they met eyes right away and almost immediately, his gaze softened.
her inner child would be screaming with how close he was right now.
but she didn’t like him, not anymore. she liked sunghoon.
and no matter how close her old crush was near her, she couldn’t stop thinking about how hoon might’ve been doing something else with that girl.
y/n softly pulled away as her eyes twinkled in the light. “just anyone really,” she said with a half smile.
jaemin’s left corner of his lips curled as he smiled and nodded.
“i used to like you, you know?” he suddenly admitted.
her head quickly whipped to him as he chuckled at her reaction. “yeah i used to like you but i backed off because of your brother.”
she felt her heart pounding from his words but she didn’t know if it was from her younger self screaming in joy, or what.
“you did?” the girl asked, fingertips unusually becoming numb.
he nodded his head and gave a bread smile. “you were so cute when you were little.” he gazed his eyes down, going into remembrance of how they used to be in their younger years.
when y/n opened her mouth to speak, she felt a quick tug fling at her wrist.
in seconds, she was pulled away from the brown haired boy who was just as confused as her. her eyes glanced up and found a jealous sunghoon in front of her.
from what she didn’t see, hoon had been observing from afar. he didn’t mean to go stalker mode but he couldn’t help it with how jaemin had suddenly approached his girl.
his eyes darted at the two, resisting it all in himself to not pull her right away. he had enough of it though when he saw how close his friend had gotten to her. his jaw clenched when he imagined the possibility of jaemin connecting his lips with the girl he’s been wanting to kiss.
“hoon?”
“shut up.” he angrily spat out.
his grip accidentally became tighter as he continued to drag her up to her room, not caring if her brother had seen (he didn’t).
when they finally got to her room, he shut the door and pinned her against it.
she slightly winced in pain, almost causing him to let go of his rough act. it didn’t work though because the thought of jaemin and her closely together angered him even more.
he felt a bitter grudge fill every inch of his body as his jaw tensed, eyes staring deeply into hers.
“you gonna keep talking to jaemin, or should i tell your brother?” one hand was slammed against the door, near her head as the other still held onto her, caging her to himself.
“you know jaemin and i aren’t-“
“then why do you keep talking to him?” sunghoon cut her off, sounding sour in his tone as his eyes never dared to leave hers.
y/n slightly rolled her eyes. she liked seeing him jealous but he was honestly annoying her.
“why do you care?” she challenged. her lips softly grinned as he mirrored it, enjoying how confident she got.
he inched his face closer to hers, breath becoming hot and heavy against her — allowing the girl to reel in the scent of alcohol he radiated.
their lips were so close to touching, so close to finally meeting again after days of intense silence.
sunghoon lingered his eyes on her lips, tracing every part of it with his vision before moving onto her eyes.
the boy peered his gaze into her, slowly displaying that his orbs were pleading with lust and hunger.
he licked his lips, letting his tongue peek a little for her to see as he raised his brows and gave a smug smile at the same time.
“you belong to me,” he whispered.
butterflies and nervous sensations hit every part of y/n’s body with just those words. she felt weak in the knees in how he delivered his sentence.
the words were so possessive and yet charming.
hoon’s head dipped in to close the small gap between them, only for y/n to stop him with a hand on his chest.
the tension couldn’t be cut through with how much they craved for each other.
he slightly backed away, brows faintly raising as she shook her head. “you’re drunk, sunghoon.”
he gave a laughing scoff before letting his eyes trail back to her lips. “am i? because why is it that all i can imagine right now is how you kissed me the other day.”
he placed his thumb on her bottom lip, pulling it back as his mouth opened as well. a soft groan erupted out of his throat while holding himself back from smashing their lips against each others.
she was so close to giving in.
his desperation for a kiss had her almost folding. but she had to stop herself.
he was drunk, and she wasn’t about to take advantage of his vulnerable state.
it was something, but it was not the way.
when sunghoon tried to dive in for another kiss on the lips, y/n’s hands firmly placed itself on his muscled shoulders.
“you’re not in the best state to make decisions right now.” she stared deeply at him as he furrowed his brows.
“are you sure about that?” hoon’s head drooped to her shoulders, allowing her to instantly feel his hot breath.
he whimpered out a sigh at the feel of his lips on her clothed skin. “you drive me crazy,” he whispered, placing wet kisses at her shoulder and leading up to her collarbone.
as he attempted to do so, his eyes closed a little longer than he wished. and instantly, he was knocked out.
she huffed out a sigh, half in laughter and half in annoyance that his body weight was suddenly depending on her. “geez,” she mumbled. “kissing me and now you’re asleep.”
her hands pushed him off of her so he could fall back on the bed.
the girl smiled as her gaze softened with each second she admired him. “sleep well idiot,” she whispered before turning out the lights.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
when morning came, sunghoon’s eyes forced itself awake from the bright light.
a pounding was taken to the head as he groaned out in pain. he looked around, eyes scanning everywhere as little placements of the room began to be recognized.
he peaked his head up to the left, soon finding a barrier of pillows in the middle of the bed, separating him and the girl he liked. y/n remained softly asleep on her side as she was all the way at the edge of the bed.
once he blinked enough to gain conscious of how far she was, he softly smiled.
“cute,” he quietly mumbled to himself.
as he was about to reach for a blanket to cover her up, the door was suddenly opened to y/n’s brother. his mouth gaped open in shock as his eyes widened.
“what the hell are you doing in my sister’s room???” he loudly questioned, awakening y/n.
she blinked in confusion before gaining hold that she slept in the same bed as sunghoon, and her brother had just caught her.
“calm down,” she grumbled while tiredly rubbing her eyes.
her brother clicked his tongue before yelling — “get the hell out of her bed sunghoon! what the hell is wrong with you?”
with said, hoon jumped out of the bed, only for the older boy to skip close to him. “that’s my sister!!”
“okay look-“
“no! get out! you are not getting anywhere closer to her”
“you can’t do that!” y/n defensively screamed.
“shut the hell up! you’re a kid, you can’t- he can’t- just get out of here sunghoon!”
the younger male quickly rushed out, not needing to be told twice to do such a thing as he panicked.
a few hours passed and her brother continued to rage even though hoon had left.
“are you kidding me, y/n??”
she rolled her eyes and sighed. “it’s not that big of a deal as you’re making it.”
“you’re eighteen and he’s twenty-one dumbass! he’s older than you by three years, what makes you think this is okay??”
“we like each other and it’s genuine.”
“you’re a kid, y/n. he’s gonna be in his mid twenties soon and you just turned eighteen. you don’t even know what’s best from left to right. how are you gonna handle it if he breaks up with you??
“well i guess we’ll just have to wait and see huh!” she yelled, rolling her eyes and rubbing her temple in irritation. “three years isn’t as bad as you’re making it.”
“it is when you’re just fucking eighteen, stupid.”
“calm the fuck down,” she took a sigh in as she mentally told herself to calm down. “okay look, i know you’re pissed because he’s your friend and he’s three years older than me, but i’m telling you, him and i match really well.”
her brother gave a soft scoff, shaking his head in disappointment as he said, “you’re just gonna get hurt, dumbass.”
she knew he was being protective, but he couldn’t control her love life.
“sunghoon and i are-“
“are what? together now?” he ridiculed.
y/n rolled her eyes. “would it really be that bad for us to be together?”
before she could say anything else, he walked away. her brother didn’t want to hear what she had to say anymore. the argument would only be going back and forth so he left it as it is.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
a few days had passed since the incident, and y/n’s brother hasn’t talked to her or sunghoon.
in fact, y/n and hoon haven’t talked to each other either. they felt it best to keep a distance for the time being.
when it was late in the night, the girl was calling the same four friends as usual. they yapped on and on about various topics.
as her friend, dae continued to talk about his date with jungwon, a light tapping was made on the window.
being the paranoid girl she was, her heart stopped before she turned to her phone — “did you guys hear that?? that wasn’t just me right..,”
“girl.. i heard it too,” said ji-woo with a clear eyebrow raise.
“uhm me too but i didn’t want to say it,” dae quirked out.
“you’re being haunted y/n,” min-su commented with a smile.
“shut up!” the girl on the other end yelled, hands shakily grabbing hold of the phone to see if she missed any notifications that could be related to the tapping window.
indeed, she did.
hoonie :):
It’s me
Open please..
y/n huffed out a sigh as she went to the window. “hold on guys, i’ll be back.” she told her friends, ending the call while opening the window to sunghoon.
he came tumbling in, chest heaving up and down. “finally,” he breathed.
“what are you doing here, sunghoon?” her arms folded together in curiosity.
the boy breathed heavily as he caught his breath.
“i just..,” he stopped himself to get closer to her, hands cupping her cheeks as he lovingly stared. “i just wanted to see you.”
“what if-“
“it’s okay, i’ll only be here for a second. i just really missed you.”
y/n cracked a smile as his cheesy words caused her heart to thump in joy.
“i missed you too…,” she quietly said before leaning in for a small peck on the lips.
“you just stole my next act,” hoon replied with a pout.
she laughed at his reaction, rolling her eyes as her hands trailed up to his own. “just do it again.”
and he did.
the male pushed himself toward her lips after being granted with permission.
his hands became tighter around her cheeks as he forced more of his lips on hers, pushing her back so she could hit the wall. she softly groaned from the act while he felt relieved to feel her lips on his again.
with them keeping a distance, the tension easily grew and the kiss had just satisfied that, but he craved for more.
he was hungry, and thrilled, even, to finally have their lips connect. it was evident with how much his grip tightened around her waist.
the girl finally pulled away, hands holding him back as she panted deeply for fresh air. “gosh..,” she breathed, fisting her hands so she could harshly bump it against his strong chest.
sunghoon gave a faint laugh in return. his head bunked against hers as he placed a sweet kiss on the top of her nose.
“i’ve been waiting.”
y/n rolled her eyes, softly hitting his arm as she said, “he’s really gonna find out!”
“let him, he already knows.”
he connected his lips with hers again, almost sloppy with the way they touched, but it was nothing but sweet.
he intended to keep the mood that way and so did she.
“hoon..,” she mumbled against his lips. “he could-“
“shut up.” sunghoon smashed his lips against hers, muffling out the leftover words in her mouth as she melted into it.
she felt her heart rate exceed at an unhealthy pace when his finger nails dug into the flesh of her waist.
he pulled away again, panting hard while still leaving littered kisses on her lips.
“stop kissing me, hoon! im scared,” she pushed him away with a hit on his shoulder.
sunghoon only chuckled as a reaction, finding it amusing with how afraid she was. his fangs shined in her eyes as he continued to laugh.
“you’re cute when you worry,” he teased.
his hand reached to her hair, tucking a few strands behind as he looked at her with yearning eyes.
“gorgeous girl,” he whispered before placing a soft kiss on her cheek. “your brother may scare me too, but he can’t completely break us apart.”
y/n’s lips curled into a smile as she quietly agreed. “plus, you’re already mine.” he added on, intertwining his hands with hers and raising it as proof.
she rolled her eyes and nodded her head — “fine fine, but if he catches us, i’m blaming you.”
he cracked out a laugh — “okay gorgeous.” he dragged her to her bed before wrapping his arms around her. his head rested on top of hers as their legs dangled together.
as they remained on the bed, trying to be as secretive as possible, y/n checked her phone real quick to text her group chat that she wasn’t gonna join back.
but a few quick texts from her brother had stopped her.
‘I know he’s there stupid’
‘He better treat you right’
she grinned ear to ear after feeling a heavy weight lift off of her shoulders.
a quick like and response to the message was made before shutting her phone off and turning to sunghoon.
“he knows,” she whispered.
his eyes blew up in shock. “he does??”
“mhm, and he’s okay with it so you better be glad.” she said, letting her hands go to his hair to play with it.
y/n picked at the soft strands that peaked out, smiling as she felt her heart warming up with him.
hoon watched her play with his hair, eyes longing with love as her embrace was becoming home to him.
the two stayed in their position a little longer before ultimately deciding to watch a movie together.
the night ended in a softhearted silence as they slept in each other’s arms. she was sound asleep with his hoodie on while he clung onto her.
everything felt right with the world now that they were together without the burden of her brother.
★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★
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februarybluues · 1 year
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You spin my head around (like a record)
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summary: hobie never believed in throwing his money away to useless big corporations. but, when you started working at his favorite record shop, he decided to make a small exception. warnings: slight flirting, terrible british a/n: i love this idea so so much and have many ideas for it so if you want a part 2 let me know!!!
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If there was one thing hobie hated most, it was capitalism. Having to spend money on things you didn’t need but were marketed in a way that made you feel like you needed them, pissed him off to no end. Especially when it came to big corporations. He didn’t see the purpose of having to feed these ‘money-hungry pigs’, which would only end up causing harm to everything and everyone that got in their way. The only exception was small businesses. He never gave his money away on anything unless he desperately needed it, but that wasn’t often. Until it came to you.
There was a particular record shop in the middle of the city that he occasionally visited. Mainly because it was the only one near him that actually had his favorite artists. – which were rarely sold due to how ‘underground’ they were. Don’t get me wrong, he liked his fair share of mainstream, popular artists, he just also liked his fair share of small garage punk bands. The kind of small bands you’d find playing at your local pub. But, the point is: that specific record shop was the only one he actually liked. But, that didn’t change his hatred for capitalism. Which meant he wasn’t shy to ‘borrow’ a few cd’s, or vinyls from that shop. Actually, he hadn’t once paid for anything, and he’d never once been caught. That’s just how things were. He’d never planned to feed into society’s corrupt ideations. Never. He would continue to visit that record shop whenever he pleased, but never once considered buying anything. That is, until a new employee started working there.
They were perfect. The living embodiment of utter perfection. Every time Hobie entered the shop he was greeted by a sweet smile from behind the till. Everything that person did drove Hobie crazy. - in the best way imaginable. That person was you. You’d only recently gotten the job, around a few weeks ago. It was simple enough, but it definitely was not your dream job. You only got it because you needed the money, even though the pay was barely enough to get you going for the week, it was something! Despite never once having a proper conversation, Hobie knew he liked you. From your genuine, unrelenting kindness, to your style. He was fond of everything you did. And before he knew it, his occasional visits turned to him visiting whenever he could. Not because he wanted to actually buy anything, but because he wanted to see you. Any chance he got, he would rush straight over to you. It got to a point where he had memorised when you were working and when you weren’t. And now, here he was.
“Are you actually gonna pay this time?” you asked him, familiar with his habit of pocketing cd’s and vinyls and then leaving. You never did anything about it for many reasons. One of which was because you did not get paid enough to deal with it. And also, because he was insanely attractive. He laughed. Not like an actual laugh. But, a small exhale, similar to scoffing. “Maybe I am,” he said, handing you the vinyl. You smiled at him and scanned the record, noticing the familiar album cover. “Oh sex pistols!” you exclaimed, mentally taking note of how his music taste was almost as beautiful as he was. “You’ve got good taste.” you said, before putting the record in a bag. You didn’t notice how he lit up at the sudden compliment; freaking out on the inside, but playing it off well. “You listen to ‘em?” he asked, his heavy accent now very prominent. Your smile never once faltered as you looked back at him. “I love them!” you said. You began to hum the tune to one of their songs, doing a dramatic little dance, which earned a small laugh from him. “You know… It’s surprising that you’re actually buying something for once.” you commented, jokingly but also genuinely. He tilted his head to the side in response. “Oh yeah? How so?”  he leaned against the till, hands in his pockets as he talked with you. “Well, I see you here all the time. - Almost every time I'm working, actually. And - I guess I kinda got used to you wandering around and then leaving. It’s kind of weird how this is the first time I’ve heard your voice.” you laughed, and his lips quirked up in a small, almost unnoticeable smile. “What’s wrong with havin’ a look around?” his voice was low, and he spoke innocently. Despite the both of you knowing he was anything but innocent. “We both know you’ve been having a bit more than a look around.” you said, in reference to the many times you’d seen him ‘borrowing’ a few cd’s. He laughed this time. In truth, he cherished this moment. As it had been the first time he’d heard your voice. You were sweet, funny, and apparently had good music taste. All three of those traits were almost impossible to be found in the people Hobie had met. There was just something about you that was so different from everything else. So unique and-
“That’ll be 24.99” you said, snapping him out of his thoughts. 24.99? He repeated in his head, confused. He could’ve sworn that the price tag said 30? Had you given him a discount? For literally the first time ever, he handed the money to you and paid. He regretted a lot of things, but getting to talk to you was not one of them. You handed him the bag and smiled at him once more. Hobie then realised this would probably be the only time he’d ever interact with you again. In a panic, he spoke up again. “D’ya wanna spend time together after this? We could maybe listen t’the record? See if it was worth th’money?” While the usual confidence in his voice remained, there were hints of hesitation laced under his words. “I’d love to!” you exclaimed, blatantly happy. He smiled, now exposing his teeth. “Lovely.”
“I almost forgot–here’s my number!” you pulled out a pen from your pocket and wrote your phone number on the paper bag that you put his vinyl in; trying to make it as neat and legible as possible. Once you were happy with it, you handed it back to him. “I get off work at 6. Call me then and we can organise something, yeah?” you offered, to which he nodded. “It’s a date.” he said, and winked before turning around and exiting the shop; the jingling of the door suddenly sounded way happier than it usually did. Maybe your new job wasn’t so bad after all.
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hey pookie just wanted to let u know my requests are opennn and you wanna request something sooooo badly so why don't you just go over there and send one in thanks love u hope you liked that little fic
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eirianerisdar · 1 month
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Top 20 Charlos Moments
Was talking to my twin @wafflesrisa about Charlos during Imola FP1 earlier and I decided to rank the most insane Charlos moments in order - ranked purely on moments that show just how much they're friends, not just teammates
This is just my own preference and it'll be different for everyone, but here a (non-exhaustive) list:
1. Bahrain 2024 crochet chili
"I want to gift this to you. From my fan to me, to you. So you will remember me for the rest of your life." "A chili!!" "For our post Teammate Era." "Ay we are only starting the season!" Carlos: "You will forget [the chili] there." Charles, softly: "No I won't." Also feat. nearly crying in the car afterwards
2. Miami 2024 Water flick
Carlos doesn't even look at the glass in the couple seconds before he flicks the water at Charles. He's looking at Charles and smiling. Charles gets a little overwhelmed with the affection and gets shy (bonus Ferrari team member being us looking at them)
3. Canada cotton ball lean
The cutest moment in this isn't Carlos telling Charles to admit that Carlos won. It's them both Zendaya laughing at each other when Charles gets caught cheating and Charles having this moment looking at the back of Carlos' head where he gets so overwhelmed with affection he collapses his whole weight into Carlos' side. Their caps bonk. It is cute.
4. Zandvoort 2022 headphone exchange -
Carlos, fixing Charles' headphones: "Put them properly eh? I know you very well." Lissie: "NO, YOU GUYS ARE VIBING TO DIFFERENT SONGS." Charles: "WE FOUND LOVE IN THE HOTTEST PLACE -" *C2 wheeze-laugh at each other and exchange headphones by placing them on each other's faces* Lissie: ...
5. Miami 2024 "I know you too well now"
Charles knowing he knew Carlos well enough to speak for him, and Carlos nodding silently in agreement. Then vice versa, Charles then having unshakable faith in Carlos' understanding of himself. Fist bumps. Fondness.
6. The kiss kiss saga: Charles' rayban kiss. 2023 Bracelet kiss kiss. 2023 music challenge kiss.
The first one especially gets me because it's a solid 5 seconds of Charles looking at Carlos, going FRIEND! MY FRIEND! and going *air kiss*
7. 2023 Abu Dhabi waist pinch and DTS Bahrain waist pinch
Waist pinches run in the Sainz family. Charles knows it's Carlos without needing to look by the time Abu Dhabi rolls around
8. 🎵Just the two of us🎵
Do I even need to say anything
9. Bahrain 2022 1-2 podium hug and butt pat
I can't find the video but Charles stepped up to the top step and instantly was like I HAVE TO HUG MY TEAMMATE I AM TOO HAPPY NOT TO HUG MY TEAMMATE AND SHARE THIS WITH HIM
10. Cookie decorating
So much happens in this video. The complete lack of personal space. The comfy sofa. The vocal stims. Twinning. Carlos sings "Dancing in the Moonlight," and Charles whistles it a bit later. Icing to the cheek. Teasing.
11. Zandvoort 2023 catch up
Charles forgetting they did spend the last bit of summer break further away from each other because they spent so much of the first part of summer break not far from each other. Also again. Carlos loves his personal space, Charles also loves Carlos' personal space
12. Carlos: "I'm not going to be here." Charles: *flinches*
13. TELL CHARLES TO COME CLOSE TO ME AND WE CELEBRATE THIS ONE TOGETHER/helmet pats/gentlest hug in parc ferme /podium champagne
I can't find the video of the hug but it's so gentle and Carlos leans his cheek into Charles' and I die
14. Love Honey Sweetie Baby Darling
They just pick up pet names and exchange them like lego
15. OG music challenge squishes/holding hands in OG quiz with wrenches
16. Abu Dhabi 2022 end of season message
Charles was plainly trying to smile for the camera but rightly upset with not having the championship year he wanted, but his smile turned genuine when Carlos hugged him and said Charles at least deserved P2 in Abu Dhabi for the great year he had driving incredibly well
17. Mexico separation anxiety Charles (Edit: posted initially with wrong link, updated now)
18. Zandvoort 2023 fond eye rolls
19. Carlos' 2022 birthday
They're insufferable. Charles' whinging is cute too
20. Carlos looking somft when imagining racing Le Mans with Charles
"With Charles," he says, while his press officer smirks
Feel free to add to this I just went down a wormhole of Charlos feels
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devildomditzy · 1 year
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"Wait, am I your lock screen?" + mammon + 🫣⛈️
His habit of keeping his phone away from you an out of your reach was one you mildly questioned, but ultimately learned to ignore. You figured the second born had something he wanted to keep private, possibly his latest failing stocks, or demanding texts from witches looking for compensation for his less than savory activities.
You ignored it, up until you turned to corner into the student council room, ears picking up several voices loudly talking over each other. Knowing this can only mean one thing, you prepare yourself to become Mammon’s attorney before walking in yourself.
“Ooo my! If it isn’t the person of the hour!”, Asmo coos from his chair, leaning over the edge of the table. “We were just talking about you, hun!”
“Talking about me?”, you ask, eyes circling around the room in both curiosity and confusion. You lock eyes with your first pact mate to ask a silent question, only to find him blushing furiously, attempting to simmer down from something that had just clearly upset him. He locks eyes with you for a brief moment before quickly averting his gaze.
Well, that’s typical. What wasn’t typical was the teasing stares of everyone else in the room, now centered on you.
“Well, we were just finishing up a student council meeting,”Asmo continues. “And you know how Lucifer always takes our D.D.D.’s before hand?”
“Yeah, but what’s that got to do with me?”
“Getting there, darling!”
You once again shift your eyes over to Mammon, who seemed to be having an internal battle with himself. One minute, it looked like he was going to bolt out of the room, the next it seemed he was so frustrated with his brothers that he was choosing to stand his ground.
“Lucifer starting passing them back out afterwards, and I noticed the cutest thing displaying on my dear older brother’s phone!”, Asmo finishes, bringing his cupped hands up to his face, almost as if he was looking at a newborn kitten.
“ROLF, this is super normie of him”, Levi chimes in, not looking up from his game, but still smiling to himself like he had just been told the funniest joke.
“I have to say, I know how idiotic you can be, but I didn’t expect you to display something you vehemently try to hide so prominently.” The smirk on Satan’s face makes you feel uneasy.
You hear a distinct tch come from the direction of the second born, who you now notice was clutching his D.D.D very close to his chest, with his grip tight around it. Like, real tight. Like, his knuckles are going white and you think he might break it tight.
Your eyes jump from brother to brother in confusion. “What are you talking about?”.
Asmo’s grin becomes lethal as he turns back to Mammon. “Weeelllll, go on Mammon. Do you want to tell them, or shall I?”.
You watch as Mammon turns redder somehow, if that was even possible, and starts to stutter. “I-it’s none of your business, okay?”
“Ooohh I beg to differ! I’d think a picture of our dear, dear MC is specifically their business!”, Asmo taunts in a sing song voice.
“A picture of me.. did you like, take an embarrassing picture of me or something?”, you question. Honestly, as much as you love the idiot, you wouldn’t put it above Mammon to blackmail you with an unflattering photo of yourself.
“N-no! It’s not you! I-I mean it is you but it’s not embarrassin’ or anythin’!”.
Oh the poor boy, he looks like he’s going to combust.
“Tick tock!”, Asmo once again pressures him to spit it out.
Mammon shuts his eyes as tight as they can go, and takes a deep breath, opening his mouth to say it before anyone else can-
Beel pipes up from where he’s been quietly munching on some hell newt chips.
“Why does it matter if MC’s his lockscreen?”
Ah. There it is. You watch all the color drain from Mammon’s face. He tenses up, his body language screaming ‘panic’.
“Wait, am I your lockscreen”, you question, hoping he notices your voice doesn’t hold an ounce of teasing, but instead genuine fondness.
His eyes remain trained on the table, his mouth drawn into a tight line, but he stiffly shakes his head in a confirming nod.
“Can I see?”
Mammon slides his D.D.D across the table to where you stand. Clicking on the screen, you see picture of yourself at Devil’s Coast. You’re turned to the side, not quite looking at the camera, but laughing brightly at something. The ferris wheel framed in the background of the shot makes the candid look like something out of a movie. Then it hits you - you’ve. never seen this picture before.
He must have taken it when you weren’t looking.
As laughter erupts throughout the room from his brothers, he’s shocked to not hear yours mixed in with the cacophony l. Instead when you speak, it makes the room go dead silent.
“Mammon… that is so sweet!”, and he can hear the smile in your voice as you run around the table to hand him your own. “Here, look at mine.”
He hesitates for a second, looking up at you for confirmation before taking it. Clicking on the screen, he stares back at a picture of himself. He’s in one of the outfits he wore for Devil Style, so this is definitely from his last shoot, but… this wasn’t professional by any means. It was clearly taken by you, a little shaky and a bit out of center frame, but you must have snapped a picture of him between sets.
And even more so - he’s shirtless in it.
“Ha…HA!”, Mammon exclaims, proudly showing the screen to each and everyone of his brothers. “See that? Of course MC’s got a picture of The Great Mammon as their lockscreen! Makes sense since I’m their first and their favorite!”
“Uggghh, gross”, groans Levi as he stands up to leave, “I knew I should have just went to my room.”
“Aww, MC, why not a picture of me?!”, whines Asmo as he drapes himself over your shoulders, much to Mammon’s annoyance.
“I can’t say that’s a sight I’d want see every time I have to take a phone call”, Satan says all snide and - you’ve had it.
Time to shut them all up.
“Of course I’d want a picture of Mammon as my lock screen. He is my boyfriend after all.”
“WHAT!?”, you hear all the voices in the room cry out at once.
“I am? I-I mean, of course I am! Ya hear that? MC’s taken by The Great Mammon! So all of ya better back off, ya got it?!”
You giggle at his bravado and the looks of disgust and disappointment on the remaining faces in the room, leaning down to kiss his cheek to really drive the point home.
Oh. Looks like he can get redder.
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paulic · 7 months
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“I am very saddened to hear that my ex-bandmate, Denny Laine, has died. I have many fond memories of my time with Denny: from the early days when The Beatles toured with the Moody Blues. Our two bands had a lot of respect for each other and a lot of fun together. Denny joined Wings at the outset. He was an outstanding vocalist and guitar player. His most famous performance is probably 'Go Now' an old Bessie Banks song which he would sing brilliantly. He and I wrote some songs together the most successful being 'Mull of Kintyre' which was a big hit in the Seventies. We had drifted apart but in recent years managed to reestablish our friendship and share memories of our times together. Denny was a great talent with a fine sense of humour and was always ready to help other people. He will be missed by all his fans and remembered with great fondness by his friends. I send my condolences and best wishes to his wife, Elizabeth and family. Peace and love Denny. It was a pleasure to know you. We are all going to miss you. Love, Paul”
Paul’s post for his former friend and bandmate, Denny Laine, 5th of December 2023
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hellodropbear · 20 days
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like she used to (II)
alexia putellas x sister.
chapter I
~~~~~~
My fingers are dancing on the piano keys, the soft melody leaving my mouth in a quiet hum when Alba walks into my room that night. My mouth closes as the door opens, but my fingers are unstoppable, continuing to abuse the keys as I continue to play the song.
My hands rest on the last keys I pressed when I am done and I think Alba is crying, unless she suddenly has allergies. It is quiet for a few moments before she speaks.
"If you weren't so good at football I would try and convince you to do this forever."
She sighs, standing up and motioning for me to follow her as she laid on my bed. I move beside her, my head now resting on her shoulder.
"I remember when you first played the piano." She smiles, reminiscing on the fond memory. "You were three, you couldn't reach the pedals but you insisted that Papi taught you something. You made us all squish onto the sofa in his office so we could listen to you play and you gave us a very slow and broken version of La Vaca Lechera. It was terrible but Papi was so proud because you had only been playing for a month and could already play with both hands. He picked you up and claimed that you would be the greatest piano player to ever walk the planet. He would be so proud of his pequena superestrella."
"I wish I knew him." They're the only words I can bring myself to say.
"He was a very good man, I miss him a lot. He would have been so proud of Ale with all her football and so proud of you with it too. And your piano. Mami sometimes says to me that you are a mini him."
I realise she is avoiding herself, a habit she got herself into a few years ago, when I followed in Alexia's footsteps by securing my spot in La Masia. She used to be upset, it was unfair. Why had the football gene just skipped her?
"He would be proud of you as well, Alba."
She shrugs, I think she tries to blinks away tears but doesn't succeed because one lands on my head
"I hope so..." she pauses. "It is harder for me to imagine because I am not outstanding at anything like you and Alexia. I am just Alba which is ok but I just don't know what he would be proud of me for."
"There is no such thing as 'just Alba' because you are the best person I know. You don't need to play football for him to be proud of you. Do you realise you are the person we all go to when we need anything? When I am sad, Alba, when I am happy, Alba, when I want to laugh, Alba, when I want to cry, Alba. You are my answer for everything, hermana. That is better than any song on the piano or the biggest trophy there is to be won."
"You are so cute, I love you." She giggles quietly and wraps her arms around me. "Aitana called me earlier and I wanted to come over and make sure you are ok."
"What did she say?"
"Not much, she just asked if everything was ok between you and me and Ale. I didn't tell her the truth, if you were wondering."
"What did you say?"
"I just said that Alexia is struggling with her injuries and that you both are very busy. I don't think she really believed me. Either that or she knows there is something else going on."
I groaned. "She kept giving me looks as we were driving home and it was annoying."
"It's sweet, she's looking out for you." Alba smiles and ruffles my hair. "You are only a little baby to them. 15 is young, pequena!"
"Yeah, well it'd be nice if my own sister did that, wouldn't it." I snap back at her and she recoils slightly.
"You won't let me do anything about it, Elena, so don't get feisty with me! Alexia is complicated and I can't even get anything out of her." She rolls her eyes. Alba is sick of all of the tension. She has been for a while.
"I don't know what to say to her anymore. Does she even know that I was called up?"
"Mami said that she wasn't going to tell her because she wanted her to hear it from you."
"She had no problem telling me when Alexia got a new girlfriend." I'm petty about it, but sometimes I think I deserve to be.
"I cannot believe you still have not met Olga." Alba sighs, flopping back down onto my mattress. "She is very nice, I think you would like her." 
"I am good at getting out of things." I shrug my shoulders and Alba rolls her eyes again. "I don't want to meet her."
"You liked Jenni so much, maybe this could be the same?"
"I still talk to Jenni, on the phone. Maybe we should start an anti- Alexia Putellas club."
Alba groans and sits up, causing me to grunt in annoyance as my head is knocked onto the mattress.
"You know I don't like all of this venom between you two, so please just leave me out of it. I've had enough of you not telling me what the problem is, I am so, so sick of it. You used to be so close that I was jealous of your relationship and now all you do is complain about each other to me." She flops back onto my mattress in frustration.
"You don't understand, Alb, you don't understand what it is like for someone you idolise to practically forget your existence. She used to come to all my games and now she doesn't even know I was called up." She rolls her eyes as I move back to the piano stall, ignoring the way my voice cracked and my eyes sting with tears. 
"Mierda, Elena! How many times do I have to tell you? She has been so busy. I'm sure she has tried to get to them." Even Alba can't explain Alexia's absence. 
"Si, si, you have said that before but you can't understand because she never forgot about you. You didn't used to have an older sister who used to drive you to all of your trainings and games before she decided she was too busy for you and shoved you on the Barcelona busses at the age of 11!" My fingers begin to ghost the keys. Like I said to Aitana, the piano is a good outlet for my emotions. I am glad Mami let me put Papi's old piano into my room. I don't think she is glad when I wake her up in the dark hours of the morning playing loud songs.
"I have an older sister and a younger sister who used to be close and then fell out. I have a father who is dead and a busy mother. We were indestructible, Elena, but look at us now."
My left hand finds a chord and presses down on the four keys, calming my brain down.
"I am sorry that you are hurt by what has happened between Alexia and I, but I am so upset and I don't know what to do."
Alba's eyes softened but I looked down at the keys in front of me, sighing softly as she sat next to me.
"I'm sorry I can't help you more. I don't truly know what happened, but I just want things to go back to the way they were."
"I want that too." A tear found it's way from the back of my eyes but I wiped it away before it had a chance to fall down my cheek.
My fingers picked up another tune, familiarity gracing through my fingertips, the sounds floating around the room. Alba's head rests on my shoulder again and we both tell ourselves it will be ok. Alba likes when I play the piano because if she closes her eyes she can pretend it is our father.
"He was never as good as you are, hermanita."
~~~~~~
The rest of the training week went well. Better than well, but I was mainly just relieved that I wasn't a big disappointment.
The negative of my good performance is that I will be put on the team list. Jonatan pulled me aside after training today and told me I am on it and I thanked him with a smile, hiding my emotions.
I knew my sister was going to find out sooner or later. I'm honestly surprised it has taken her this long, it is not like she has been completely absent from the training grounds. Aitana seems to be the only one who has noticed that me and Alexia have not spoken, but she still has not got anything out of me.
I tell Mami to lock the doors and windows when the team list comes out because I don't want to face Alexia when she inevitably comes over and asks about it. She tells me to stop being ridiculous.
I manage to lock myself in my room when I hear her car coming up the driveway. As soon as she is in the house I climb out the window and walk to the bus stop. I don't want to deal with her tonight. I don't want to deal with her ever, to be honest.
The bus driver smiles at me as I tap on, heading to the back of the bus, no destination in mind. I am happy to just sit there as it drives through my home. My phone is unsurprisingly buzzing of the hook, full of congratulatory messages from friends and family and strangers and fans.
Aitana: *attachment: 1 file* very very proud of you! congrats little lena.
She had screenshotted the team list and put a big heart around my name and I think that might be what started to tears.
But before I knew i could see tears tracking down my face in my reflection as I stared out the window, my mind just wishing that things were normal. Wishing that I was at home celebrating with my family, excited to finally be on the same team as my older sister. I wish I wasn't crying on a bus trying to escape confrontation with my sister who I know will be disappointed that I am on her team.
But this is how it is.
I find myself getting off the bus outside the park near the training grounds, still not sure where I am going. I was considering heading in, practicing my shooting or going to the gym, although I expect they will be closed.
What I don't expect is to hear someone calling out to me.
"Pequena Putellas!" The voice is familiar and I recognise it almost immediately. "What is my little replacement doing out so late in the middle of Barcelona?"
Mapi reached me quickly despite the crutches that she doesn't seem to be relying on too heavily.
"Congratulations, replacement! First team sheet-" she stops when she sees my face. "oh."
"Hola Mapi." I put on a smile but it is a weak effort. "I'm just heading home."
"Si, this is about you and Ale, no?" I look at her curiously and she rolls her eyes. "You don't think I wouldn't have noticed? She is my best friend!"
"And that is why I can't talk to you! I have to go home because they will be looking for me." She rolls her eyes again.
"You are coming over to my house and we are talking about this like grown-ups because you are now a professional athlete. You are not a grown up but you have grown up since I saw you last pequena!" She smiles lightly and uses one arm to pull me into a hug. It is awkward with her crutches. "I have missed you so much." Her words are mumbled quietly into my hair, her arms warming me with comfort and nostalgia. 
Apparently, the new apartment Mapi has moved into with Ingrid is right across the road from the park so we walk back, Mapi getting increasingly frustrated as I become more and more reluctant.
"Maria, please just let me go home?"
She was adamant that she wanted to talk. I just think she wants to know what happened between me and Alexia but I can't tell her. She wouldn't understand. Nobody would understand because everyone would just think I'm being childish and petty. Maybe that's just what I am.
We stand in silence as the elevator takes us up the levels to the apartment.
"Ingrid is not home, she is out with Frido tonight so you do not have to talk to her."
I let out a quiet exhale in relief. Ingrid is nice enough from what I know of her in training but I don't want to have this unwanted conversation in front of anyone else.
Mapi and I used to be close. She was never my favourite but that is mainly because I saw her so often that the novelty of her had worn off quickly and I found myself gravitating away from her at trainings because, like Alexia, she was just always around.
But Mapi loved me like I was her little sister because she never had any of her own. She did a lot for me as a child and tried to pretend that she wasn't offended by my blatant favouritism of other players.
She sat down on the sofa in her living room as soon as she opened the door and I grabbed her crutches that she had thrown on the floor and stood them up against the wall.
"Thankyou, now sit here." She patted the seat beside her and I sat down, my arms crossed. "Do you want to tell me why you were crying alone in the middle of Barcelona, 45 minutes away from home?"
I shook my head.
"Will Mami be mad?" I hate the wobble in my voice.
"No, I texted her and told her you were with me and she said it is ok. She is not mad at you, pequena."
"I don't like being called that anymore." I slumped down in my seat.
"What do you want to be called?" I am surprised that she didn't ask why. I suppose it might be obvious.
"I usually just get called my name." I pause. "Elena."
She smiles lightly, though I can see the water in her eyes.
"I know your name. I know you very well, Lena, I have for a long time but I also know your sister very well and I know that there have been problems for a while now and I know that she is trying her very best to not make it obvious that it is ripping her up and you are doing a very bad job of hiding your sadness. Why did you not tell her you had been called up into the first team?"
I roll my eyes but choose not to respond.
"No, don't roll your eyes at me, peque- Elena. I understand something must have happened but it is big news that you neglected to tell her!"
"What is bigger news? Breaking up with your girlfriend or being called up as a replacement in a football team?"
She hesitated and I continued.
"Getting a new girlfriend or being called up as a replacement? Buying a dog or being called up as a replacement? Being told you are about to win the Ballon d'Or or being called up as a replacement? She told me nothing for so long so don't you dare try and tell me that I should tell her about my life when she does not care to tell me about hers!"
Mapi recoiled and I immediately felt guilty.
"Sorry."
"No, don't be sorry. What else has she done to make you upset?"
"No, Mapi, we're not doing this because you don't need to know about what my sister has done to me. I don't need a psychologist, I just need to grow out of being the pathetic and weak baby Putellas. The younger sister of La Reina who has not had to work hard because her pathway has already been paved and everything has been handed to her on a silver platter." My voice is bored, like I am in front of a class, presenting a boring speech that I have practiced in my bedroom for weeks. 
"Why do you say that? Where is this all coming from?" Her voice raises slightly and her arms wave about as she speaks.
"Because it is true, Maria, why else would things be the way they are? I don't deserve this, it's only been given to me because of my surname." My voice is clearly becoming more urgent and I try to calm myself down. It doesn't work. 
"Where are you getting this from? You need to stop making this stuff up in your head and telling it to yourself because it could not be further from the tr-" Mapi's voice was raised, only slightly, but I could hear the wobble in her voice.
"I am not telling myself this stuff, Alexia did! And Alexia is right, she always has been and she always will be. She is a football geek she knows everything."
Mapi pauses, her mouth opening like a goldfish and her eyes staring straight into mine for any hint of exaggeration or lies. She found none. I have never been a liar.
"She... she said that? To you?" Mapi was surprised. How could her best friend have said something like that to the little girl that meant the world to her? "Alexia said that to you?"
I regret my small outburst immediately; I didn't want to tell Mapi. My fingers begin to get restless, my heart racing, my gum held firmly between my teeth. It is in these moments that I would move to the piano and prepare myself to play a song. My fingers ghost imaginary keys by my side as I take a deep breath, preparing myself to beg and plead; to do whatever I need for Mapi to forget everything I just said. 
"No, you cannot say anything, Maria, this is all a lie, I am dramatic, I am making it all up. Please, just forget I said anything. Please." Tears began to slip out of my eyelids and the expression on my face can only be described as desperation.
"calma, calma. vale. I will forget everything and I will not tell anybody, as long as you don't want me to. But pequenita, it is not true, not true at all and you don't deserve for anybody at all to speak to you like that. You are talented, so talented that I am jealous of you, not your natural talents but your work ethic, Elena, your work ethic is admirable. You are so strong and you have worked for every single opportunity you have been offered and do not ever-" I look away from her.
"Look at me, Elena, look." I look towards her again and notice the water in her eyes.
"Do not ever let anybody tell you otherwise and if you do you call me up immediately and they will get a piece of my mind, si?"
I slump into Mapi's familiar arms and let out a small cry and she just squeezes me harder. I haven't ever told anyone that much of the conversation I had with Alexia - not even Alba - and to hear her best friend attempt to squash any of the worries I had about myself was refreshing. My fingers begin to ghost imaginary piano keys, preparing to begin playing a piece.
"Was this before or after you transferred to La Masia? That is around when she stopped going to your games, no?" Her voice was soft and I felt the need to answer.
"It was during the party that Mami held, when my spot at the academy was accepted. That was the reason why I started crying when I was talking to you. You probably don't even remember that, it was so long ago." I let out a dry chuckle and she rubbed her hand down my back.
"I remember. I remember thinking you were not telling me the truth but I had no idea what was wrong. You have been suffering in silence ever since?"
I don't want to nod my head because it feels dramatic to say that. 
"I told Alba only a little bit of it but nobody else knows. Please, please, please don't tell anybody. Not Mami, not Alexia, not anyone. Please." I looked up at her and she stared at me wordlessly for a few moments before exhaling softly.
"Elena..." She pauses again. "As much as I want to go and give your stupid sister a piece of my mind I will not but on the condition that you talk to Alba or your Mami or me or anyone about it, si? Even Alexia. Maybe she has forgotten. But she misses you, that much I can tell."
I nod, wordlessly making a promise that I know I can not keep. She seems to be satisfied though and changes the topic.
"vale, buena. It is too late to drive you home so you will stay here tonight and Ingrid and I will drive you to Johan tomorrow, si?"
I nod, I do not have a choice.
"Is there a piano in this apartment?"
~~~~~~
Mapi saying she had a piano is an overstatement, it is a keyboard with Norwegian inscriptions that was shoved into the corner of the unused study. Apparently Ingrid does not play the piano but has always wanted to learn.
But, I take the equipment for what it is and sit on the stall, flicking through the different sounds for a while before I find something I like. The office chair behind me squeaks as Mapi sits down but I ignore her presence as I place my fingers on the keyboard.
She would have noticed the release of tension in my shoulders when I sat down. She would have noticed the sigh of relief that I released as my fingers placed themselves on the keyboard.
The song starts out slow. Ludovico Einaudi is one of my favourite composers. His notes sing out from the keyboard speakers and soon they become faster and more intense. Nuvole Bianche is a pretty song, in my opinion, and I like to make up stories as I play it whenever I do. Sometimes I relate to the stories and other times I do not.
But the song builds and builds until a brief pause in the middle in which I hear Mapi sniffling and there is shuffling downstairs. Ingrid must have arrived home. The song picks back up quickly and before I know it the last few chords are ringing out through the room and Mapi has come to stand behind me and is rubbing her hand down my back.
"The last song you played me was un elefante se balanceaba and now you are playing this. You made us sing along and you went all the way to 50, we were in there for a long time. But now you have grown up. You are still so young but you have grown up now I am so proud of you."
I can hear the tears in her eyes so I stand up and pull her into a hug. I feel guilty, she is Alexia's best friend and I accidentally slipped what Alexia said which could potentially drive them apart. But I can't help but feel relieved, I feel comfort which is something I have been looking for for such a long time. Mapi used to be like a sister to me. I don't think I even realised how much I have missed her. 
"That song was so hard!"
She chuckles into the hug and I do too.
Maybe I deserve to feel like this every once in a while.
~~~~~~
hope you enjoyed x
chapter III
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doctorprofessorsong · 5 months
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Destiel fic recs
Another round of brainrot. I hope they never fix what's wrong with me.
Beggars Would Ride by Tiamatv (Explicit, 118k)
You had me at Aladdin AU. When Dean Winchester is caught stealing, he's given one chance for freedom. Go into the Cave of Wonders, grab the amulet, and get out. Things don't go as planned. Now he's got a moody ancient genie to contend with. But maybe he can use up two of his wishes and then grant the genie his wish: to be free. What could go wrong?
This fic is an absolutely delight. I laughed so hard, especially at the fun ways Tiamatv played with the SPN canon and the Disney movies. But beyond the humor is some really fantastic world building and a beautiful story about finding your way when you feel trapped by life.
Genie Cas is very cute and grumpy and sassy, and it's fun to watch him start to care. And Dean has so much heart it will make you ache. Sam and Jess are disgustingly cute but both are also whip smart and fun. And Jo (Jess’ sister in this) is the knife girl of my dreams.
This one is hard to put down.
Tourbillon Dreams by kayliemalinza @kayliemalinza (Mature, 40k)
Dean uses Bobby's life insurance proceeds to buy a hoarders house stuffed to the brim with cursed and haunted objects. But when he finds a clock that also happens to be an angel, things take an unexpected turn.
It sounds cracky and there is some delightful humor, but this fic packs a beautiful emotional punch. Dean is in his peak caretaking, competency mode and Clockstiel is adorable and entranced with Dean in a way that is just immensely readable.
There is something starkly gorgeous about the way Dean and Cas are physically so different and yet they find each other in meaningful and beautiful ways.
Love Is a Meat Loaf Song by followyourenergy @followyourenergy (Explicit, 68k)
A reimagining of canon where Dean is never saved and becomes a demon. He's bored waiting for the apocalypse when he happens upon a certain blue eyed seraph and they decide to work together.
This fic has all the delightful sassiness you expect of Demon!Dean and especially when he spends time with his frenemy, Meg. It also has just absolutely amazing angel lore and a deep dive into Cas and his trauma. All of this is wrapped up in a soft love story about two beings finding each other and seeing each other and breaking down each other's walls.
It's the entire package of funny, sincere and romantic.
Where there is Darkness by quiettewandering @wanderingcas (Explicit, 91k)
I may have popped this on at some point when it was a WIP but I have to renew my recommendation if so. Dean and Sam are lighthouse keepers, but Dean keeps driving off the third member of their team until Cas shows up. But will they be able to overcome their past to carve out happiness?
This Dean and Cas are so delicious. I am deeply fond of them both. They are fighting against so much baggage and yet they find in each other something so special. Sammy is also perfectly oblivious in the best way. It's hard to explain what makes this fic special except that it is so engrossing, you will be slamming next chapter
Valley of God by ValleyDean @valleydean (Mature, 145k)
I know. I KNOW. The MCD tag is daunting in a fic like this but I promise that while it is accurate, then ending is softer than you think and it's really the way it should end.
So there are a few things about this fic that make it absolutely delicious. First, it really delves into Cas’ trauma in a really gorgeous way. We don’t have enough fics that look at his angel trauma (we can't for me tbh) and this one uses a religious cult situation to delve into it. Second, Dean and Cas in this fic are just so messy and delightful. Dean wants to believe that Cas is good so badly. Cas wants to protect Dean the same way. It's crunchy. Finally, the atmosphere is amazing. It's creepy. It gets under your skin.
Is it dark? Absolutely. But it's also amazing.
The Darkest Sunshine by StarlightOfFandoms @starlightoffandoms (Explicit, 35k)
If murder husbands is your thing, this one is a delight of a fic. Dean Winchester is the Righteous Man serial killer, a notorious murderer who goes after monsters (in human form). People who are guilty of abhorrent crimes. But when he goes after Cas, a professor believed to have murdered several students, he discovers an innocent man being framed. Together with Cas and his team, Dean decides to find the real killer. He just has to pretend to be Cas’ boyfriend until they succeed.
The fake dating trope in a murder husbands fic was a total delight. So was the fact that Dean doesn't work alone and has a full support system to go after the worst of the worst. It's an intriguing concept done really well. Dean in this fic is an interesting blend of sociopathic tendencies, a strong sense of justice, and a willingness to do anything for those he is loyal to. Cas is intrigued by Dean and accepts him as he is. It's a really great combination.
A Weed In Any Other Place by VioletHaze @scones-and-texting-and-murder (Explicit, 63k)
On the other end of the spectrum is this fluffy rom com. There is some angst, but most of it is soft, sweet falling in love along with supportive friends and family.
Cas is a writer. Well, Cas had a book published and now he's desperately trying to write his second while convincing himself the first was probably just a fluke. Writers block is a bitch. That is until his car breaks down and he ends up at a little shop called Winchester and Son. By some weird trick of fate, it's exactly what he needs. He has the most productive day in years sitting in their waiting room. So he comes back, and keeps coming back. The extremely cute mechanic with green eyes doesn't hurt.
Cas is a disaster at social situations in a relatable way. Dean is struggling to put away some bad lessons from his dad so that he can find what he wants instead of what his father pushed on him. Both have a lovely support system. Charlie, in particular, makes me deeply fond in this fic.
i like your shoelaces (thanks! i stole them from the president) by you-cant-spell-subtext-without (ayreisha) @you-cant-spell-subtext-without (Explicit, WIP, 33k so far)
My lovely Tumblr wife is back at it, writing the most delightfully chaotic fic based on Misha's prompt awhile back for President Cas and Fast Food Janitorial Staff Dean Winchester. It's a Cinderella story and in equal parts hilarious and adorable. Also it is a Dean-saster/Cas-tastrophe pairing which is always fun plus there's a 2 person love triangle situation.
Dean's stuck in a miserable job with his only escape being his love of How I Met Your Mother and the Tumblr blog he devotes to the fandom. But when a handsome man walks in one night after hours, things heat up. Too bad the man in question is actually the President.
It's a romp and a love letter to fandom.
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fuckmyskywalker · 6 months
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❄️𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟓𝐭𝐡 : 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥 - 𝐀𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧 𝐒𝐤𝐲𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐞𝐫.
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— CW: 18+, smut. Cheating. PiV. Both Padme and Anakin cheat. | Word count: 2.0k (not proofread!)
— a/n: Consider this a late Christmas gift because it's 2k <3. I normally don't like my fics but I can say I am proud of this one. Inspired by an unreleased song by Jules Paymer. Follow them ;).
— Anyafest 2023 + Taglist!
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Anakin stares at you from the other side of the large room, admiring how you carry yourself with such grace and confidence. His hand tightens around the glass of whatever the fuck he is drinking, he can’t really give a damn about it now. All he can think of is how much he wishes he could yank your hair and beat you up. Drag you to the center of the room and expose you, scream to the world how you ruined the best thing he would ever have. 
It’s time. He knows he has to be quick before you get away before he can get his stupid revenge. As he strides towards you, he can hear Padmé’s apologies ringing in his ear, bouncing inside his brain and making his blood boil. 
“I am so sorry, it was a mistake! I promise I didn't mean to.”
“It was an accident, Anakin. I was drunk— she means nothing to me!”
“Please forgive me. I just couldn't lie to you anymore. It was killing me.”
Sure, maybe fucking the woman your wife cheated on you with isn't the best approach, but that's the only thing he can think of right now. Thankfully Padmé skipped today’s event, probably at home lamenting herself and planning a very sappy and emotional apology, buying him gifts, and preparing a new set of tears to ask for forgiveness. Anakin knows he will forgive her in the end, besides her he doesn't have anyone else. How is he going to give up the only good thing in his life?
He is pathetic to even consider forgiving an infidelity, but what else can he do? It isn't often that his mind strings a coherent thought, and tonight exception.will not be the exception. It would be easier to give you the benefit of the doubt; to be fair, you weren’t aware of his marriage, and if Padmé was as drunk as she claimed then— no. He cannot give her the benefit of the doubt. You are quick to acknowledge his presence and Anakin doesn’t miss the way you eye him up and down, completely oblivious to the way his eyes are beheading you. He isn’t nice when he presents himself, in fact, he is quite harsh with replying to your questions. 
Your obvious interest makes him sick, so you think that with that pretty face and expensive gowns you can just get away with everything you want? Disgusting. 
“I thought Jedis weren’t fond of these sorts of events,” You speak in a sultry tone. Anakin can bet you think you are being so smooth and seductive— batting those long eyelashes at him. 
“Well, it’s nice to cool off from the stress every now and then.” Anakin gruffly replies, taking a sip of his drink trying to sound as charming as possible which on a normal day wouldn’t be hard, but Maker, his shoulders are so tense they hurt and his stomach is twisting with anger.
“Glad you can find a reliever,” You wink, and he can read what you imply— another type of reliever is thrown on the plate, it is up to him to bite it or spit on it. “You do look tense… General.” The way his title rolls down your tongue makes him sick. So you know who he is, did Padmé say something? Did she mention him at all? Did she even think about him as he was breaking his trust?
“Long day.”
The initial conversation is polite, he has to give you that. You don’t go straight to the point which he is thankful for, if you had tried any insinuation Anakin wouldn’t have been able to hold the impulse to crash his glass against your head. His internal struggle becomes hard; when he finds himself smirking at a snarky comment you make of another guest on the other side of the room, or when he sees you smiling at a very fake compliment he gave you… he feels nauseous— to not say ashamed— he can see right through you but you cannot see his real intentions. 
“I can’t imagine living on the edge all day,” You sigh, tapping your long, manicured nails on the oddly-shaped drink. “Must be quite challenging.
Anakin suppresses the urge to roll his eyes. “You get used to it,” Is he being too harsh? Too scattering? How are you supposed to treat the person you now hate the most?
You offer him another drink which he reluctantly accepts, is this your preferred method? To force people to drink and then take advantage of them? Or is his vision of reality so distorted he isn’t able to pick up that you are the one tipsy? If any he would be the one taking advantage of you.
Anakin watches you drink without restraints, staining the edge of the glass with your dark lipstick. Is that the same color that tempted his wife? Or did you choose another shade that night? His sudden jealousy is clouding his judgment, not that he has much but still. 
After your third drink— although Anakin is sure you had a couple more before he decided it was time to talk to you— your tongue begins to lose. Your questions get bolder as well as your touch. Your hand lays on his arm when you laugh, your body slowly making its way dangerously close to his. Despite the sick feeling that rises up his stomach, threatening to regurgitate the lousy dinner he managed to eat, Anakin forces himself to place his gloved hand on your lower back with an unauthentic smile. He needs to play along because that’s what he wants right? To get revenge. 
It’s not hard to find an empty room in this ridiculously enormous building. Too many unused rooms that on a normal day would throw him into a useless rant about how poorly managed the Senate budget is, but then again— this isn’t a normal day for Anakin. What is extremely challenging is to continue with his plan; you let him do his move which makes him drown in self-doubt and loathing again. Was his wife the one who made the first move? Did she kiss you the way he was kissing you now? 
The dark red lipstick smears all over his lips, and Anakin swears he can taste bile on his tongue. It’s stupid. What did he even think this was a good idea to start with? He is fucking stupid. Bringing your body closer to his, Anakin parts his lips to deepen the kiss, shivering when your tongue comes in contact with his. Pushing you further against the wall, you mistake his intentions— he looks like he wants to merge his body with yours, and the misunderstanding fuels your desire. He is handsome, terribly so, so where’s the harm in having a little fun? His kisses are heated, rushed, he wants to be done with this as soon as possible. He wants to— what the fuck does he even wants to? Is this the moment of clarity? Maybe. 
Suddenly your lips don’t feel that bad. The taste turns sweet and it catches him by surprise, if this was what Padmé felt then maybe… Can he even blame her?
A kiss. No. Multiple. Contact after contact with Anakin's mind fogs. Your sounds are just as sweet as your lips, asking him for more, praising him, practically dragging him to the same mess he was never meant to get involved with. Clothes soon become a bother, but the situation isn’t ideal— nothing is. Your hands shouldn’t feel as good as they do— but fuck they do. Anakin gets greedy fast, a characteristic he probably will never be able to get rid of. A familiar burn builds up in his body, the only thing that wasn’t supposed to happen.
It’s laughable. It really is. 
“Please don’t stop,” You whisper against his lips in a way that makes his blood boil, bright erythrocytes then pump his cock until it strains against his black robes, you feel it, of course, you do. “Oh— Anakin.”
Sweet. His name sounds so charming when you say it with his hand in between your legs. He wants more. Why? He’s not sure. Nothing seems real right now and for an instant he forgets he is about to have sex with the woman who unbeknownst to her ruined his marriage. Your skirts are heavy, but the layers of fabric don’t seem to be a problem. He finds you dripping, easily sinking two fingers inside you, watching with half-lidded eyes how you arch your back. No longer sweet but sinful. Anakin pants, feeling pathetic for finding the slightest hint of enjoyment in what was intended to be revenge. 
“I can’t do this,” He mutters, withdrawing his hand. He can watch his fingers glisten under the dim light of the room. “I… I can’t.”
“Yes, yes you can,” Your voice is like a lullaby, broken and barely frustrated by the irruption. “Anakin, I need you.” Do you? Because he doesn’t know what he needs. The lines blur too fast for his mind to catch up and the next thing he registers is his trembling hand fumbling with his pants. “Please, Ani. Fuck me.” That damn nickname. The one that was reserved for the woman he loves, but if she had to share her with you for a night, it is only fair that Padmé shares that pet name with you too. 
This wasn’t supposed to be something pleasurable, now Anakin can see clearly how Padmé couldn’t say no. When he fully slides his throbbing cock inside your tight heat he crumbles. Now he has gotten his own taste. 
His thrusts are fast and eager, bringing one leg around his hips as his palm rests against the wall. You cling to his body desperately, moaning freely now— each sound pushing him closer to the edge he wasn’t meant to cross in the first place. A bead of sweat rolls down his brow, his tongue swirls with your sensually. No other touch had felt this addictive, plus the taboo of the secret he is holding, the one he will have to drag to the grave now. Anakin groans, biting your lower lip and tugging it with his teeth. Your pussy envelops his cock like a glove, tight and warm, so good and so bad at the same time. 
“Maker— you feel so good,” You moan directly in his ear, furrowing your brows and rolling your eyes in delight. His cock feels amazing, stretching you in forms no other man has done. Is this the type of man the Jedi Council is keeping away from you? “I’m going to come, Ani. Fuck— harder, please.” You beg. That’s all you do. More. More. More. You are insatiable. 
He is too far in— both literally and figuratively— to even deny you, which would mean he denies himself. He is close too, he can tell by the familiar clench under his lower stomach, how his balls tighten and slap against your sweaty body. He shouldn’t come inside, then he would be the same as his wife— or even worse. 
The brief clarity the Force itself blessed him with suddenly disappears when you come undone around him. It’s like a wave crashing on top of him, drowning him in a feeling he knows will never be experienced again. You look like an angel, a miserable comparison given the situation. You climax with a strained moan, mouth hanging open and cursing to the Gods he will never believe in— and he is following you just seconds after. 
Everything is ruined. Your makeup, your underwear, his dignity. Like a bitter reminder, the same apologies Padmé gave him over and over spun around his head with the same strength as his orgasm. Anakin rests his forehead against your naked shoulder, saliva trickling down the corner of his mouth as he struggles to catch his breath. He is fucked. He is so done. He is ruined.
He understands why Padmé cheated on him. 
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